#i cant tell if it's anxiety or im just a pussy

[yoshiko-and-the-hikikomori]

ooc || i love coming back from the dead to post random reblogs that are slightly linked to katai <3 then not roleplay with anyone cause im so cool and just built different

[barbies1shots]

You dont have to write it if you dont want to buttt can we have reader getting revenge on toxic!sukuna THAT MAN NEEDS TO PAYYY🤬

just imagine her cheating back and then finally running away forever🤭

YESS !! we finally need a break from toxic!sukuna .

toxic!sukuna part1 toxic!sukuna part2

☆ - TOXIC themes , cheating , lying , mentions of family , praise , name calling

fedup!reader who blocks Sukuna on all media.

fedup!reader who goes to the police and files a restraining order on him.

fedup!reader who breaks down as she figures out what happened with the videos and pictures he took.

fedup!reader who clears up all the drama between her and Sukuna, claiming that everything was not consented to and most of it was abuse.

fedup!reader who goes out to try and refresh herself, wanting to start a new life away from the negative people.

fedup!reader who meets a nice man, who offers to help her move.

fedup!reader who moved different states to get away from him.

fedup!reader who now takes self defense lessions and now is at the top of her class.

fedup!reader who goes to a dinner date with her new man and figures out that a healthy relationship is what she needs.

fedup!reader who smiles and laughs in appreciation as her new man gave her jewelry as a gift.

fedup!reader who now is riding that man, making him whimper out 'pleases' and 'thank yous'

fedup!reader who smiles happily when she looks at her new man, (your fav).

fedup!reader who crys out when that man fucks her dumb, who fucks her so lovingly that shes numb from the inside out.

fedup!reader who clings onto her new man as he finishes inside of her, mumbling about how good she is.

fedup!reader who looks in the mirror and sees Sukuna standing behind her.

fedup!reader who screams to loudly and darts to the door before Sukuna can get a chance to get his hands on her.

fedup!reader who cries as she calls the cops when she hears him running after her.

fedup!reader who runs to a stop before turning on her heal before punching that man straight in his throat, having him crumbled at her feet.

fedup!reader who saw Sukuna choke on air as his throat seemed to be closing in.

"Didnt i fucking tell you to leave me alone?! I want nothing to do with you Sukuna! Youve hurt me in ways unimaginable and im done! im done with you, im done with your nasty ass head, im done with the way you try to claim me like a damn pig!"

fedup!reader who stares Sukuna straight in his eye as his hands are cuffed behind his back.

fedup!reader who flips her middle finger up at him as hes being driven away in a cop car.

fedup!reader who eventually breaks down crying as the past traumatic moments and adrenaline finally catch up to her.

fedup!reader who looks up and sees her man talk to her in a calm voice and pulling her into his chest.

"look at me, baby. i swear i wont ever leave you, i will make sure you are so happy that it will be sickening. i love you so much, baby, you can never compare. let me hold you, let me in and let me help heal you. i promise to be there at your lowest, at your highest. trust me to help pick yourself back and put yourself back on the right track. i will be by your side."

fedup!reader who burns every single letter sent out to her from Sukuna.

fedup!reader who, then months later, is now in therapy and is going so much better now.

fedup!reader whos therapist told her to make peace with the one thing thats making her have anxiety ridden episodes.

fedup!reader who vists the prison Sukuna is locked in.

"Miss me baby?"

fedup!reader whos eyes well up in tears as she explans to him everything he did wrong.

fedup!reader who stares at Sukuna with hatred as he screams in her face behind the glass.

"you cant lie, you bitch! you were begging me to let you cum! you were begging to let me fuck that pussy! you were begging me to hug and love on you! ive told you, you can escape from me, baby! give me a chance, ill make you love all again!"

fedup!reader who walks out the room with Sukuna yelling at her back that she loved everything he did.

fedup!reader who walks outside and takes a deep breathe before getting in the car and kissing (your fav) on the cheek with a nice smile.

fedup!reader who helps other women in similar situations and now has gotten a part of her life back.

fedup!reader who now has gotten away and is the most happy she will ever be away from Sukuna.

fedup!reader who posts on social media her family, two boys and a kitten, hoping Sukuna will see it when he gets out.

fedup!reader who laughs as she knows Sukuna isnt shit anymore.

ahhhhh getting revenge on Sukuna , ik it wasnt violent but if you want it violent, TELL ME !!

-Aizawas BARB !

[wanderingconstellations]

yua i know your requests are flooded so let this one sit here until you're ready, but i needed to share

i need scaramouche to fuck my anxiety/overthinking away

he just keeps out degrading my overthinking with filthy words, kissing/brushing off my genuine tears away, me repeatedly saying love you because its true 🥺 and he doesnt know what to say back because hes so overstimulated, we cant think, and he loves me so much more, so he does what he do best, degrading me oh so lovingly while we repeatedly fuck until who knows what am, until we physically literally cant anymore, but we're trained people, hes a former fatui ffs, our strength and stamina helps us for so long, maybe even a day, and only resting for a few minutes after cumming, then going again and again literally missing a day or two's worth of commission work or anything else because we're just that addicted

need him to scream my name with "fuck" "im cumming" nnh need him to breed me so bad

I can imagine him going on until the sunrises, maybe until lunch time if that's possible.

Breeding. Mating Press. Creampie. Scara being messy as fuck with his cum. Cockdrunk Reader. Pussydrunk Scara. Fem! Reader (mentioned of she but it's mostly gn with fem bodied reader.) Overstim. Scara absolutely obliterating you in bed. Messy. Degradation, mixed with slight praise.

Your head his spinning, your mind is filled with nothing but the person who's literally fucking you into the oblivion. His tender hands caresses your body, worshipping n' peppering it in kisses, coating it with his cum until he's overstimulated.

Your eyes scroll up to the back of your head, nails digging n' scratching his back so deliriously that he has to fuck his cum deeper into you :((

Lewd squelching filled your ears, his cock bullies its way once more into your cum-filled pussy, fucking more of his cum into you.

"Look at you..so messy, all sprawled out for me.. Love you s'much.."

He grunts, pulling his cock out once more and slamming it back inside, watching how more cum leaks out. It's so satisfying. Your pussy is so good, so nice and snuggly, sooo warm..

"I bet you'll look good with a swollen belly, won't you? You're such a sweet little thing, all dumb and pretty for me."

You whine at the lost of his cock, but only to be soon flipped over to your stomach and your ass raised up in the air just tells you what next.

"Scaraaa..need s'much more.."

He chuckles at your words, simply pistoling his dick in and relishing how your warm walls squeeze and milk his cock.

"Aww..did the little slut have enough yet? I don't think she is.. it's not like her little pussy would mind being filled some more, right?"

Fuck. It's so good, so addicting. His cock is hitting all the right spots, you can't help but just squirt all over while the tip of his dick was kissing your sweet spot so nicely that you'll cum again. A creamy ring was visible on his shaft, it's just so lovely isn't it? <33

"Wait..ScaRA!! SCARA!! S'TOO MUCH! C-CAN'T CUM ANYMORE!!"

Your body twitched, writhing while your sweet lover was relentlessly pounding from behind in an inhumane pace. Your head is spinning, the pleasure is so good, you don't even remember why you were even crying in the first place.

"ooOooOH! SCARA!!! R-RIGHT THERE! RIGHT!! F-FUCK!"

Incoherent babbles filled his ears. His lips curled into a lustful grin as you cum all over his cock once again, coating it with your creamy essence. Your walls were twitching, body sweating and covered with his own cum.

"Would you look at that... Your dripping cunny is still sucking me in. So.. so fucking needy of you, but that's okay— ngh! You're my little slut to fuck after all.."

[pjisskullourful]

I'm so proud of you

🫂⭐

thankyoooou my darling💖

stream of consciousness response cos i have so many feelings& idk if im gonna be able to sleep even though its 1.30am? okcurrrrr

holy fuck. holy fuck. HOLY FUCK!!!

i had some shitty things happen to me pre -pandemic but then being on lockdown i was forced to sit with all of that, accept the label of 'victim'& my mental health got bad. i've always been a homebody& a bit anxious in social situations, but during lockdown i became quite terrified of the outside world. there are occasions when i let my best friend down by pulling out of commitments at the last second cos i never felt good enough, i wanted to hide the fuck away, i felt myself decaying& i thought people would see that& i was SO ashamed& thats when the body dysmorphia got in the drivers seat(the street name of the concert venue was driver, i'll be the driverrrrrr)& it was crippling & took so many things from me

anytime i leave the house is an accomplishment for me now. even if its just to walk down the block to buy a loaf of bread. & going into a situation like a concert, with the overstimulation, the complete lack of control (i am a perfectionist, control freak)(i love structure, i need routines to feel safe & thrive& be happy)- i wasnt sure i could do it. i had a cry last night cos i was feeling so intimidated, i didnt know how to prepare

but i made it out of the house. i dressed myself to the fucking nines with no shame. i took PRIDE in my appearance when usually i just want to be a floating brain so that no one can perceive me in my form. i was serving CUNT, i put my entire pussy into it& i fucking did it

to be in the presence of those four fuckers, im in disbelief. i've been unemployed since a bit before the pandemic, i've had to come to terms with ptsd & the fact that i now have a disability & idk how to just jump into another job. i feel so worthless so often. but here, i dont. i had given up on my dream of making money from my writing. but now i am!(& it started with an ethan commission!!!) & im not worthless& i have accomplishments that i have gained for myself, despite everything else, despite the voice in my head telling me im not good enough, im past my peak, im decaying -- yada yada yada suicidal ideation

a little bit of my dream came true because of those four fuckers. i cried the day honey came out cos i am just so completely grateful for everything being a fan of them has given me

& it started with an ethan commission. & then ethan looked in my eyes& said thank you

i am not worthless, i am not past my peak. i am a motherfucking kool kid

thankyou for every note on every fic(i look at every single notification, they make my heart fucking soar), every kudos, every cent anyone has sent my way. tonight was a celebration of all of that& i could be present& happy& in it. no darkness could touch me, especially not while ethan was looking at me

he is as fucking flawless in person(they all are). i got to stand so close& stare at that fucking body(cos he wonderfully took his shirt off after interval)& i love him& i'll most likely love him forever, thats my baby daddy ❣️ my mum is gonna be so proud. i wish i could wake her up with a phone call. ethan is her fav& i cant wait to tell her i had an interaction with him

i sat in the gutter& went from loudly laughing(ala gaga in aura) to sobbing loudly. my world has been rocked

for some people a concert is just a concert but this is a GIGANTIC deal for me. middle finger to my anxiety. middle finger to my body dysmorphia. this is such an accomplishment. i am grateful for every fucking second, grateful to myself cos i fucking DID IT!

& this is the second time this year that i've seen a eurovision winner perform their winning song(cos my girl conchita back at the start of the year). & that is dopee as fuck!!!

my therapist is gonna be so proud 🥲

can i get a HELL YEAH for vallium? ily forever bby

tldr-- im proud of me too babyyyyyy

[bakatenshii]

Blahkugo is a pretty sexy rec although she ironically does not write for bakugou

you are so right nonnie, @blahkugo doesn’t write bakugou (minus like 2 drabbles) because she has performance anxiety which is ridicULOUS bcos she’s so unbelievably talented and sexy and I think she’d write him so well. we r all waiting for the day u write mister bakugou @ sunnt

HERE ARE MY FAVS FROM MISS BLAHKUGO:

charity / sludge (Shigaraki)

7th Commandment (Ushijima Wakatoshi)

Underground!AU 1k event (Hawks)

Rouge (Tendou Satori)

&& all of her Hand HCs (all of Hq!!)

[mickayzie]

i still have no idea what im allowed to reclaim because i dont know what my gender or sexuality identity is anymore, and whether or not that means i can reclaim nothing, but it really doesnt matter to me because i dont actually care. aint the hill im gonna die on, ya know?

[bloody-vino]

Reiner x Fem!reader NSFW

Reiner and you have been dating for over a year now, and your 18th birthday is coming up. He's always wanted to make this one special and decided maybe getting intimate with each other might be the best idea. He goes around asking for tips from Bertholdt, Porco and even Zeke as they are more experienced. Losing virginities was never a joke for this man, he knows its a big occasion. Reiner even awkwardly approached Annie and Pieck about this topic to understand more about female pleasure. After collecting all the information he feels somewhat confident in how and what to do and gets down to preparations.

Your 18th birthday party is held in a small booked Air bnb with a huge cake and balloons everywhere. All your friends attended, his too, everyone was chatting around except Reiner. He stands alone, close to you and mildly sweating from the anxiety of knowing he needs to have sex later. Once the party is over at about 10pm everyone begins to leave and Reiner personally bids everyone a goodbye trying his best to hide the nerves. You are completely unaware of this plan of his and begin packing up as well, after all you had a curfew and your parents were extremely strict. Reiner sees you leaving and hurriedly blocks the entrance with his body. You are surprised by this action, you look into his eyes and take a step back not understanding the situation. Reiner takes a step towards you and asks you to stay back for just 2 hours more. You dont see at a problem after all you are 18 and allowed to take atleast some liberties. You give in to him entirely and wait for instructions still not entirely sure about what is about to happen. Reiner holds your hand and slowly brings you to the master bedroom of the apartment, which he had taken the pains to properly clean, arranged a towel, he even made the bed properly and got an extra pair of clothes. Finally you got a grasp of the upcoming events and your heart suddenly starts beating fast.

Standing at the foot of the bed facing each other, Reiner takes his hands and places them on your shoulders. Slowly sliding them to your back and pulling the zipper of your dress down, he then pulls it off as it drops to your ankles. You are now exposed to him only in your bra and panties. Reiner takes a step back to take in the view, his erection clearly visible through his pants. He instantly realises this action may make you feel extremely vulnerable so he quickly looks into your eyes and no where else. He unbuttons his own shirt and takes it off, he's still unsure about your reaction so he pauses before taking off his pants. He uses his hands to carress your curves and then firmly placing his hands on your ass pulling you closer to his bare chest. He feels your stomach and cleavage push against him. He asks you "Are you okay with this?", youre already in ecstasy you manage to moan out a very very soft "yes". He asks you to lay down on the bed, but before you do, you take off your undergarments stripping down to nothing. You lay on your back and he can see every inch of you. He cant take his eyes off your beautiful vagina, its all so new to him. The wind is blowing through the open windows and you have the view of the whole city from the 50th floor apartment. He unbuttons his black pants and takes them off along with his briefs, keeping them on the side. You are looking at his penis while laying down, you feel so wet. Being inexperienced in sex you are not sure how its going to happen or what that tingly sensation in your clit is. Reiner gets on the bed and is now above you and between your legs. More than his dick your are marvelling his huge stature, his muscles are so strong and his chest so sculpted against your body. He has blonde hair leading from his belly button down to his blonde pubes, which are glowing golden from the city lights reflecting onto your bodies. This man is so handsome and hes so close to you.

Reiner holds his pink tip against your entrance and whispers in your ear "I am going to enter tell me if you feel uncomfortable, i promise i'll instantly stop". You look at him and nod a yes with a furrow on your brows out of fear. He begins kissing you and pushing his dick slowly inside you, your vagina clenches out of fear. It begins to hurt a bit as if a knife is jabbing through your hole. You let out a painful wail and Reiner freezes in position. He looks down at you worriedly, "Is everything okay? what happened? im so sorry." You have tears in your eyes and seem very unsure. He realises you need preparation something he had read about earlier. Reiner uses one finger and slowly massages your clit, making you feel very heated, you vagina starts feeling more relaxed, as he continues rubbing and your walls are aching for something to be inserted. After a few moments you feel like a huge build up but Reiner doesnt let you orgasm, instead he slowly slides his thick hard cock through your now swollen pussy lips. You hold the back of his shoulders and gently push your hips inwards towards his, trying to take his size. He takes it as reafirmation to continue, he adjusts his pace and slows down for you to take charge. You never did this before so your vaginal walls were mildly hurting during sex. Once Reiner was inside you all the way to his base, you could feel his balls against you, he instantly feels a jolt of pleasure in his chest. He slides his hand to your lower back between you and the bed. Using his hand to adjust your hips at the perfect angle for him to thrust in and out. He finally starts moving his hips very slowly, causing him to grunt loudly. For some reason hearing him like this caused you to feel warm butterflies rise up in your chest. You slid down your hands from his shoulders to his hips, giving a slight shy nudge indicating him consent to go faster. Reiner instantly started thrusting faster and the pounding sound echoed through the apartment. You both were already breathing heavy but as he caught speed you let out loud moans. Your breasts bounce up and down as Reiner thrusts, he cant take his eyes off them, he leans in to lick your nipples and suck on them while he repeatedly fucks you.

As a few minutes passed Reiner had his eyes closed while pounding focusing all his energy on not orgasming because of your tight wetness. Between thrusts and moans you noticed this and cupped his face, he opened his eyes and caught yours. His speed decreasing and now with soft movements of his cock going in and out, he leans in to kiss your lips, making out while slowly taking you to the brink. After a bit when he felt the muscles in his thighs tighten and the sensitivity of the tip of his cock increased he pulled his lips away and held your legs up to his shoulders in missionary postition. He thrusted hard and fast, pulling out his whole 8 inches dick and thrusting it back in all the way to the base. His balls heavily clapping against you. As his feeling got more intense he was on top of you with your legs on his shoulders, you were folded beneath him, his face again close to you. He was sweating and his blonde hair now long and messy over his forehead. His grip so tight on your thighs that now it was turning red, you were also reaching your peak "Reiner ahh, p-please, just like that". A few more sloppy fast thrusts and Reiner pushed himself inside you as much as he could, to release his hot semen. You let out a huge gasp and the intense contraction in your thighs and lower abdomen moved to your vaginal walls and suddenly your body aching to burst, you orgasmed.

Reiner finally let go of your thighs and collapsed on top of you. You could feel the entirety of his sweaty body against yours. Your breasts pressing against him again, you could feel his now semi hard cock against the inside of your thigh as it spilt out of your hole. You used your hand to carress his hair back from his forehead, they were slicked back with sweat now. He managed to muster the strength to sit up and give you kisses on your cheeks and lips "Thank you, thank you so much for letting me close to you and your beautiful body. I love you" You kissed him back on his lips and the tip of his nose "Reiner that was amazing, you were the best present i could have recieved on my birthday". With this Reiner got up and scooped you over his shoulder and into the bathroom to wash up.

This man was prepared. The bathroom was decorated with candles, rose petals and lavender incense. He switched on the hot water and you both stood under the running water naked. Your hands against his chest and his on your waist. The water ran down cooling you both down from the heated sex, he slowly kissed your forehead and took some body wash and massaged your body, as if to relieve the tension and ache from having sex for the first time. You reached out for the body wash and massaged his back and hard chest too, you just wanted to feel him once again, you craved touching his body again and again. He held you close and both of you acheing to make out and fuck in the shower again, but time was limiting and your vagina still sore from accomodating his length. Once the water washed the soap away you both dried up with a towel, but before you wore your clothes Reiner whipped out a tube and asked you to lay down with legs spread. You trusted Reiner with your life so without questioning you followed. He took some cream onto his finger and slowly applied towards the outside of your entrance, and then used his finger to apply deep within you as well, swirling his finger inside you making sure to coat every inch of your hole, "This ointment, i got it from the doctor beforehand, it helps ease the pain and soreness post sex, i know youre hurting there". You sat up with slight tears in your eyes, shocked by the amount of care and love this man had for you "Reiner thank you for loving me like this", wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him for a hug, you both fell on the bed without clothes just embracing each other and cuddling while looking a the city lights together.

Reiner had his eyes closed and was softly breathing drifting off to sleep, his hair slightly wet from the shower still slicked back, and his alabaster skin reflecting soft light coming from the window. His dick was visible resting against him, his abs moving up and down as he was breathing. He was yours, a sight to behold. You slowly shook him awake and he used his sculpted arms to sit up. He knew it was time for you to go home. Both of you wore clothes and cleaned up the mess. Finally at the gate you looked back at the Air bnb, you didnt know why but you felt a very slight sorrow about leaving the place where Reiner and you became one for the very first time. Reiner put his hand on your cheek and pulled your face to face him. "Ill see you this weekend over at my place?" You gave him a big innocent smile while nodding your head. With that he locked the door and dropped you back at your house.

[hanji-is-life]

Best friend bakugou that asks you to tutor him, both of y’all fully aware he doesn’t need help. But you cant really say no to him can you? Well, you should’ve.

It starts of fine, he’s paying attention, your explaining the concepts to him, suddenly he flicks your nipple “wrong”. And you’re kinda bamboozled for a sec like... how do you know its wrong!? So he just shrugs and tells you to explain it again, and you hesitantly do.

One sec you’re solving the question, the next his hand is in your pants, knuckle deep in your pussy, growling at how stupid you are for getting things wrong. makes you keep going with him curling his fingers in you and daring you to stutter through your question.

You end up not studying, you actually end up bouncing on his dick with him laughing at the faces you make while hes making you lose yourself on his cock

You know whats worse? He gets better grades than you. Guess you’re the one needing tutoring, slut🧍🏻‍♀️

(No my exams are not coming up, and no im not imagining how my studying sessions should go👉🏻😔👈🏻)

NAMI PLEASE??????

and when this mf comes to you for tutoring, you’re like???? breast friend???? breastie???? you’re literally doing better in your classes than me???

but he just insists cause he does admittedly need you to explain a few more things to him. things that he’s already mastered, and knows you haven’t fully grasped yet—

he’s just so mean tho :(( keeps pinching your nips and clit whenever you explain something wrong :(( or when you stutter over your words :(( or whenever your eyes cross and you drool all over yourself when he’s making you bounce on his cock :((

your mind nami. lemme eat it. now 🔪.

I don’t understand how you can have horny thots about tutoring 🧍🏽‍♀️my anxiety ridden ass gets too stressed to even think about his dick

[dazed--xx]

I Trust You

REQUEST: Hey! Just saw you wanted requests so here it is So, you're making out with Yoongi and things get hot but you're kind inexperienced and had a bad first time, but you didn't tell him... he notices that you're nervous and stops to check on you, so you tell him and start detaching yourself from him cuz you're embarrassed, but he stops you and show it to you how you should be treated I'm sorry, this was kind specific, feel free to do it you want >< ❤

GENRE: SMUT, ANGST, if you squint fluff

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT 

MEMBER: YOONGI x Idol!reader

WORD COUNT: 1,539

A/N: so this one is kinda a hard one to write i was a victim of sexual assault and it was kinda like this but way more graphic. but i hope you guys enjoy im sorry to the person who requested this because i forgot your tumblr name but i hope it reaches you if it does comment please.

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“Yoongi-ah” I moan as his lips slowly suck on the bend of my neck. “Hmm?” He whispers, His lips attacking mine. My hands buried in his soft midnight hair, his wandering to my ass. Yoongi’s member pressing against my stomach, hard. His hands reach for my breast, as my tongue wanders his mouth. “Baby-” Yoongi bites my lip interuppting my protests. I let out a small moan “Hmm I love hearing you moan for me baby” His hand sliding down lifting my shirt slightly. My hand grasps his wrists, my breathe gets stuck in my throat. Water is building around my lungs and im gasping for air. The dark feeling rises and the memory begins to replay over in my head once again.  

*TWO YEARS AGO*

Min, my back is on the ground. Min-Jun's hands wandering all over my torso, across my chest. No, Don’t, Stop please. His hands trail down my body and lifts the blue shirt I had been wearing and a cool breeze sends shivers through my body. He stops at the button for my jeans, and I close my eyes as he removes them. I don’t like this Say something idiot, he'll stop right?  

His lips travel from my lips to my collarbone. His sloppy, wet kisses that are etched into my skin. "Min-Jun, I don’t want to. I'm not ready." I say. He lifts his head, rolls his eyes, and continues kissing me. I jerk my head to the side "Min-Jun, please stop."

He throws his head back in frustration. "Excuse me?" He looks at me in disgust "Of course you don’t like it, if you relax you'll enjoy it, I promise." I shake my head, and Min-Jun clenches his jaw.  

"Min-Jun, I don’t like this can you please stop? I don’t want to do this, not here and not now" I said. He shushed me, caressing my face " I promise I'll take care of you during this whole thing okay? Just calm down you'll be okay," He said, "If you keep fighting me it's going to hurt." He lines himself up with me, I close my eyes.  

The group is more than a mile down the street and really loud music playing, they cannot hear me if I scream. Min-Jun slammed himself in and out of me harshly, pushing my hip into the bed below me. Please God stop him, send someone looking for us so this can stop please god just stop this. An unfamiliar noise escapes my lips, did....did I just moan? Do I like this? and he moaned "Do that again, I like it say my name baby girl" My mouth stays shut. A harsh stinging spreads across my cheek, “what did I just say?” This isnt my Min-Jun, my Min-Jun has never acted like this before. His thrusts get harsher at my silence. Maybe if I just do as he says this will stop, “Min-Jun” I say weakly as his member attacks my core. “Hmm good girl” His lips fall onto mine as his pace slows and the familiarity of his old self returns.  

The kiss feels loving, as my hatred grows. His head falls to my neck “fuck- youre so tight baby girl” his hand caresses my face softly his thrusts getting sloppy. “Call me daddy” DADDY?! He wants to own me and for me to accept that ownership....fuck no.... I wont.... I don’t care.... I wont call HIM daddy. He looks at me angry, his hand wrapping around my throat “Come on baby girl, what you feeling shy?” I cover my face and nod quickly terrified. He smiles “youre so cute baby. Its okay you don’t have to this time next time okay?” NEXT TIME?!?!?! YOU REALLY THINK YOURE GOING TO SEE ME AFTER THIS!!!!! Im screaming on the inside but my weak and terrified state just nods.

He begins groaning and his hips stutter freezing “Fuck! I just came so hard baby girl” He lifts himself off of me and holds me "Relax, you fought a lot, next time please don’t do that.  I don’t like hurting you, baby girl."  

A large smile formed on his face, he is satisfied and I am silent.

*PRESENT*

“Yoongi, please...stop” I whisper as tears begin to stream down my face. Yoongi freezes panic evident on his face his hands caress my face. “Are you okay?” I nod. His face falls “baby youre crying”. I smile and wipe my face and move past him sitting in the studio chair messing with his piano. “We should finish this track oppa” I smile at him. He nods, distain on his face. After about 10 silent minutes, yoongi speaks up “Listen, im not sure why you started crying, but just know you can tell me anything and I will never judge you. Okay? I know you went through a lot before you met me and I wont push but just know I will always be here for you” the wall of silence I built after all of this time, finally comes crumbling down. The words come out like word vomit, Yoongi listens growing angry as the words come out of my mouth.  

“IM.GOING.TO.FUCKING.KILL.HIM” Yoongi says angrily. “Look baby you tell me stop and we stop okay. Id never pressure you into anything especially something as serious as sex, but I do have to ask.... have you been with anyone since? Like have you ever been able to enjoy it?” I shake my head. He runs his hand through his hair. “Dont worry baby ill wait for you forever if I have to. I want you to trust me enough to want to give yourself to me. I love you and I wont hurt you like that or in any way, id never do anything to lose you. Id be lost. I cant help but be happy you fell into our practice room that day” I smile and move from my chair to yoongis lap pressing my lips against his. His hand caresses my face as his tongue explores my mouth. I stand up and grab his hand leading him to the couch. Seductively I push him back onto it and straddle his lap. I kiss down his neck, a moan escapes his lips. My core grows wet as his member hardens against it.  

I suck on his his neck and he bucks his hips up into me. “Hmmm Babygirl don’t do that....” yoongi whines. Grinding into his lap, I nibble on his earlobe lifting his shirt. “You don’t have to do that” yoongi states grabbing ahold of my wrists. “I want to” I smile soon our clothes are tossed all over yoongis studio and were both in our underwear. “Fine but if were gonna do this babygirl were gonna do this right” He states taking ahold of my waist and pressing me into the couch. His lips are on mine fast need evident in yoongis pace. His member grinding into my core as yoongi attacks my neck. “Hmmm this is gonna be all about you baby girl okay? Im gonna make you feel so fucking good” His words make the blush creep up on my face. “youre so fucking cute and innocent...and your going to be so naughty for me..hmm im gonna ruin you baby” His hand slides into my panties. “Fuck youre so wet already baby girl. Can I taste you?” He asks softly. I nod “No baby use your words I want you to tell me if its okay this is all about you” He kisses my core over my panties. “Yes oppa I want you to eat my pussy please” he pulls my panties down and attacks my core. The feeling overwhelmingly wonderful “FUCK! OPPA!” My hand buries in his hair as he sucks softly on my clit. “You taste so much fucking better than ive imagined baby girl.” The need for yoongi grows “Oppa...?” I ask softly, Yoongi lifts his head worried coming back up to my face. “Yes ? Are you okay?” Panic in his voice, I smile “Im fine I just want you to be inside of me... not that im not enjoying this but I only want to cum on your cock”  

Nodding yoongi sits up and begins looking through his clothes. “what are you doing?” I ask confused “Looking for my wallet I have a condom in there” “you don’t need one” Yoongi freezes and turns around “are you sure?” I nod. He drops his underwear and his member flys up and hits his stomach. A nervous look flashes across my face as yoongi lays positions himself in between my legs “ill go slow okay” his words easing my anxiety.  

“its okay baby I trust you”

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Hey 😔😔 its been a rough week. I'm planning on dropping out.. i just cant work work with all the anxiety and these past few days your blog is the reason i smiled again i just wanted you to know. Now help a girl out because lately im imagining namjoon gripping my thighs and i need something for this thirst 👀👀 + i feel like he is the type whos into overstimulation 😭 -👻

Hey 🥺, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time 🥺. I’m glad you can come here to cheer up a little 💜.

His grip would be so strong you’d have marks on your thighs the next morning from it.

Imagine him pounding you so hard that you’re screaming. You cum loudly and quickly, your dripping pussy just making it easier for him to continue his railing as he relentlessly drills into you, his hands tight around your thighs, his eyes watching the way his hard cock is sliding into you. You cum a second time, he bites his bottom lip and looks into your eyes, which are now watering from the overstimulation, you can’t tell if you’re feeling pain or pleasure or a twisted mixture of both.

“That’s it babygirl, you can do it, just cum one more time for me” he pants, breath heavy and sweat glistening on his chest. As your orgasm rips through you as he smirks, stilling himself while cumming inside you with a squeeze to your thighs and a grunt of satisfaction. He leans down - resting on his elbows to avoid crushing you- and wipes your tears, peppering you with kisses all over your face lovingly 🥰

[meet-the-mini-merc]

Me and my friends tf2 oc’s as stuff we’ve said in our discord server

But first! Credits!! 

Ava, Jenny and Pitman belong to me! Chemist and Aofie belong to @tea0-0stache​!!

Castor belongs to J (they don’t have a tumblr... i think)

Pilot and Blacksmith belong to @sockheadstudios

All other characters belong to valve!!

this IS a post inspired by a tf2 post i saw once but i lost it in a sea of likes, i’d be grateful if someone gave me the name of the person who posted it so i could give them credit!!

=============================== Chemist : “You all are dough that i will simply bake in my godly oven so that when your time has passed, i will devour the bread that is your body”

Pitman : *rises from depths of hell* “Yo.” Chemist : “I can’t believe i looked up pussy in French to insult a Polish dude”  Chemist : “That’s a lie yes i can”

Ava : “Do you even eat?” Chemist : “No clue. Hand me the biscuits” Pitman : “Don’t tell me you’re gonna stab me again” Jenny : “Not in here, It will ruin the carpet” Pilot : “wh-” Pilot : “why do you have that image?” Chemist : “Don’t ask questions” Pilot : “b-but-?” Pilot : “how?” Chemist : “ 🔫 what i just fuckin’ say? ” Castor : “ I am going off on a departure to the land of non existing magic and creatures. I shall return in one moon cycle on a horse made of gay and joy, please wish me luck as this could be a tough journey. Many unknown monster lie within the land and they wish to cause chaos brought up upon memories. And let us all hope that the army of thy animals shall protect me from unwanted threat.” Castor : “Goodbye my dear friends, I shall see you all soon.” Pitman : “Oh you mean sleep?” Jenny : “Hon” Ava : “What” Jenny : “Yes” Ava : “W-What?” Pitman : “Did you just fuckin’ lick me?” Chemist : “Yes.” Pitman : “grO- WHY IS YOUR TOUNGUE VIBRATING- DON’T LICK ME AGAIN-!” Jenny : “I have no idea what i did” Castor : “Sold yr soul” Jenny : “Never had a soul to sell” Castor : “Sold yr sanity” Jenny : “Bold of you to assume i had any sanity to begin with” Medic: “Cant believe i turn into a sadist during a fight” Medic: “Thats a lie yes i can“ Scout: “My brain do a hurty” Spy: “Jeremy this will be my legacy” Scout: “I am so disappointed in you“

Chemist : “What starts with V and feels really good?” Chemist : “v i o l e n c e”

Blacksmith : “ oh no! does that mean you melt in the summertime?“ Jenny : “ it means i am inside you already as the water you consume“ Blacksmith : “I-” Blacksmith : “ yaaaaaaay?????????? “

Aofie : “Pit! Can we commit hate crimes on you?” Pit : “What?” BLU Spy head : “Hate crimes.” Pit : “uhhh... sure?” BLU Spy head : “Wonderful. Child, put a kitchen knife in my mouth”

Jenny, at Medic : “If you’re taking a ‘Top or Bottom’ quiz im divorcing you”

Pitman : “And you decided to fuck him?” Chemist : “Wrong: he decided to fuck me“

Pilot : “How’s your day so far?” Blacksmith : “Pancake” Pilot : “:0″ Pilot : “Incredible”

Pitman : “Castor, remind me how you’re helping?” Castor : “Hm?” Castor : “Oh im not” Castor : “When did i say i was?”

Castor : “Why?” Castor : “Why would you scream at a toaster?” Castor : “What did a toaster do to you?” Jenny : “KILL ME LIKE 10 FUCKING TIMES”

Chemist : “How the fuck do you cock a sword” Blacksmith : *sweats* Chemist : “Blacksmith”

Jenny : “MY NECK” Jenny : “MY BACK” Jenny : “MY INPENDING ANXIETY ATTACK-” 

Pitman : “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GO TO SLEEP OR ARE YOU NOT HIGH???” Chemist : “Yes” Chemist/Jenny : “Met God once. Wasn’t impressed.” Chemist : “Medic help” Jenny : “There is no help” Castor : “Medic cannot save you now” Jenny : “ uhhh yall are so good if you say anything against it i will crawl under your bed for 30 minutes exactly and gently suckle your ankles while you sleep until you accept“

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[desperatelyfullforever]

my dream came true

hello so i saw the “real pleasure of wetting” and wanted to share my story as well! so i have a boyfriend, his name is Luke, he’s 19 and im 18 so i just turned legal. Rather sad because we were celebrating my birthday with just him and i. So we were drinking beer at a nearby bar just the both of us & i wasnt so much of a drinker. (YA GIRL CANT HANDLE HER LIQUOR) but he could. So he drank like 4 beer bottles, yes he’s a good drinker and i drank like 1 OKAY I GET I SUCK. and so like ive already had the urge to pee. yea and i didnt want him to know that i needed to pee, because i was just so cautious okay? i have like some sort of anxiety i feel humilaited if i tell him. So like he payed for the bill and i went to look for the bathroom. OF COURSE there was just 1 stall and it was full (the person was vomiting) YEA okay i was disgusted so i wemt back to Luke and we walked away. “that was fast.” he commented. “yea i didnt need to pee anyways.” i added . Well ofc i regretted lying, but in the end i was the one happy. So then we took a stroll back, and halfway, he needed to pee. I didnt want him to pee bc i was enjoying the way he was holding in, slightly struggling but nonetheless he was still so hot. “baby i’ll be back. i just need a short release” he said. he let go of my arms but i tugged him back and gave a stupid reason as to why i didnt want him to go. “no baby im scared..” i said as i hugged him and purposely squeezed his bladder. He quickly pulled away. he quickly ran behind a tree and spilled his quick release of golden stream. OF COURSS IT WASNT FAIR FOR ME BC I WAS A GIRL. i couldnt pee right behind a tree if i needed to. Just hearing his gushing noise, increased my urgency to pee. After his sweet release i took his hand and quickly brisk walk back to the hotel. “baby why are we rushing?” he asked. “im just really tired..” i said as i curled into his neck. i could feel my bladder exploding any minute. i quickly flew my hands to my vagina and held it tight for a quick support. Just when entered the room, he couldnt stop making out with me. He kept holding me close to him and kept makinh out with me, giving me sloppy kisses. i wouldnt lie, it was really hot with that drunk breath of his. He pushed me to bed and slowly stripped me, leaving me in my panties, while still makinh out with me. i rlly needed to pee, but i didnt wamt to break the situation here... but i quickly initiated sex, becauss if anythinf i would just blame the squirt! Anyways, he was hovering on top of me, biting into the soft spots of my neck and pecking kisses. He slowly took both my hands up and i realised, he had actually handcuffed both my hands to the bed frame. with slight panic, i break away from his kiss. “luke what’s going on?” i asked, looking at the cuffs. It wasnt rlly helpimg my situation. but i guess i gave away when i smiled watching him need to pee. “happy birthday sweet baby girl” he smiled as he slid my panties off . he rubbed my wet leaking pussy and it was so sensitive. “princess so wet for me?” he started with the dirty talks. “baby just fuck me already” i groaned in frustration knowing my pee would emerge if he didnt just fuck me and kept teasing. “or does someone need to pee?” he smiled sliding in two fingers while pushing on my bladder while i was struggling. I kept moaning and begging to stop but it was so good, but i could release at any moment. “baby girl, so pretty” he complimented. “how much pretty can you look if you just wet yourself baby?” he teased while rubbing his hard dick still fuckimh teasing while i neeeded to pee. i crossed my legs, tryinf to hold back my pee. HE JUST WOULDNT STOP. he kept playing with my slit and it was like a flood inside begging for sweet release. but i couldnt hold it. He started to tickle me instead of pleasure me. I started laughinh uncontrollably until i lose control of my bladder. “BABE-LUKE.. STop” i cried while laughinh my lungs out with tears in my eyes.. begging. my vagina was leaking & i could feel a small stream leaking. he didnt stop and he continued. he grinned and continued tickling coverinh my mouth until i couldnt control when i was holding back as tight as i could. the sweet releass came out gushing. the same way as i laughed my pee spurts out. “damn baby, someome’s so naughty for wetting herself”

[television-pil0t]

I don’t wanna be touched I wanna be loved. I wanna feel loved. I wanna stop crying. I don’t wanna be needy I wanna be needed. I don’t wanna hurt this much but I don’t wanna die. I wanna handle it myself but I’m at my breaking point. LMAO IVE BEEN HERE FOR A DAMN WHILE! SINCE JULY APPARENTLY! I wear the same clothes to school everyday. I don’t wanna try. My head hurts and it’s spinning. I’m tired of bleeding. I’m tired of punching and burning myself. I’m tired of finding every way out of this. I hate being worried he’s cheating on me. I hate how nonchalant he can be. I hate that i have any problem with him whatsoever GOD IM SUCH A ASSHOLE! WHY AM I LIKE THAT! WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANT FROM HIM! IM THE ONE THAT LET HIM BACK IN MY LIFE AND NOW IM COMPLAINING IT BITCH ITS YOUR FAULT ITS ALL YORU FAULT! Why do I complain so much. Am I asking to much to be loved a little bit more? Yes. Because he’s giving me all he can. We talked about it before. God he’s fucking trying. I’m gonna throw up I hate myself. I’m never gonna be good at art. Programming is a joke. I’m shit at technology. MF probably dosnt EVEN really want me around anymore. He used to talk about how much he wanted me. He said he needed me once. My dad used to hug me. I used to have worth. I used to be worth something. Why did this happen. I used to have so much to me. I used to be so nice. Why did he touch me. WHY DID HE TOUCH ME! WHY DID MIDDLE SCHOOL HAPPEN! GOD I WISH I WAS JUST MOLESTED ON THE INTERNET WHY DID IT HAPPEN IN REAL LIKE! WHY DID HE RUIN MY LIFE! I used to be so fucking nice! I used never be obsessed with someone! I was fucking normal! Why did he have to hit me. Over and over and over! I used to be so fucking nice I CANT GET OVER THAT I USED TO BE NICE! Now I’m such a asshole! Manipulative ass FUCKING BITCH! Using there mental illness as a landing pad when I do something wrong and have the gall to act like I’m better than everyone. MF you wanna go protest. Protest against yourself you fuck up. All this because a guy in 8th grade? All this because some guy when you were 5? Get the fuck over it! SHIT AS IF I CAN BLAME THEM! I’m just a fucking asshole! My bf probably still sends nudes to the gc. He still probably talks shit. He probably likes his friends. LMAO HE PROBABLY FUCKING FLIRTYS WITH THEM ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND I JUST DONT FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE “you get jealous so easily” MF I JUST WANNA DIE GOD DAMN IT IM CRYING AGAIN! I JUST WANNA FEEL SAFE! I WANT SECURITY! I WANT A FUCKING APOLOGY! I WANNA BE TREATED BETTER! EVEN MY PARENTS FUCKING HATE ME! HIS PARENTS WILL TO WHY WOULD I EVEN GO OVER THERE IM A AWFUL FUCKING PERSON WHY AM I ALIVE I SHOULDVE DIED YEARS AGO! I’m a fucking pussy that’s why. I just wanna be ok so fucking back. God it hurts. I cant keep going but I refuse to stop. I don’t wanna die. I just want better. I need better. I can’t be surrounded by fucking hell and be expecting to thrive in it! I’m the the rose in concrete god damn it! I was just a kid. FUCK I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THAT! AND THE WORST PART LMAOOO HE DOSNT EVEN TELL ME WHEN I SAW SOMETHING WRONG! HE JUST TALKS SHIT ABOUT ME LMAOO!! “Lol you never learn” YEAH I FUCKING CANT! CALL ME OUT PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME! I can’t talk to my own bf about my issues not only has he given up by I just feel like he would say “damn boi it’s not that serious” I scream! Maybe if I scream until I bleed I’ll finally be heard. By everyone. I’m tired of this. I’m not ready to be a adult. I’m not ready for any of this shit. God my heart hurts so bad. I feel like I’m just in year one. So much anxiety. Nothing to ease the pain and who’s fault is that. Mine. As always. Who am I crying to? Who am I asking for help? Nobody. Because it never goes well. I just wanna be told I’m loved. Im needed. Tell me it’s gonna be fucking alright because this world sucks. Im not gonna be able to leave out of my apartment until 26 at this rate because of government and inflation and my bf is just saying ��save money” UGH LOOK AROUND!! WERE ALL TRYING! It’s so hard to make ends meet! It’s so hard!!

[enjwrites]

red

rating: T for swearing and mild emotional distress

word count: 2155

relationships: enjolras/grantaire

Enjolras tries to drive home. He gets about halfway there before tears well up in his eyes and he has to pull into a corner store’s parking lot. He shuts off his car and rests his head on the steering wheel as he tries to control his breathing.

He calls Combeferre.

“Enjolras? Wh- it’s three in the morning,” Combeferre says on the other line, voice raspy from sleep. “Are you okay?”

Enjolras takes in a deep breath before replying. “We fought.”

Courfeyrac chimes in, a little distant from the phone, it seems, but clear enough. “You two always fight.”

“I’m putting you on speaker,” Combeferre says.

“I know we always fight. We… I…” He takes in another breath, trying to focus on what he’s saying. “We didn’t really fight. I don’t think it was a real fight, anyway. He just…” And he chokes back a sob. His abdomen tightens and twists, though he doesn’t really notice; he can’t stop thinking of the uncertainty showing on Grantaire’s face - the hurt, the insecurity.

“I love him, guys.”

“We know.”

“He doesn’t.”

“Sure he does!” Courfeyrac’s voice lifts a few octaves. “Who else are you willing to get naked around?”

Combeferre shushes Courfeyrac. “Why do you think-”

“Because he... He said he loves me. And I fucking -” a choked sob, “I froze, god, I’m so fucking stupid.”

“So you froze, what’s the big deal -”

“He left, Courf. He got up and ran.” With a look of terror on his face.

“But you were at his apartment?”

“I have no fucking idea where he went, I checked the cafe and the bar, but he doesn’t wanna see me, I fucked it up, he thinks I’m -”

Combeferre shushes Enjolras, now. “Do you think you can come home? I’ll make some hot cocoa, and warm up that cake you liked so much.”

Not much of a phone conversation, Enjolras thinks, but agrees, and does his best to hold back tears as he drives back to the apartment he shares with Combeferre.

Combeferre is waiting with a blanket and a glass of cocoa, with a peppermint candy cane in it, and a place of warm cake on the coffee table.

“I froze,” Enjolras repeats. Combeferre lays a hand on his back comfortingly. Courfeyrac anxiously paces the living room.

“You froze. He ran.”

Enjolras hums. We’ve already been through this.

“He must have thought you were mad,” Combeferre says. His voice is soothingly even, that’s a talent of his - he can always manage to comfort Enjolras. “He jumps to conclusions, you know that. He must think you don’t feel the same -”

“God, I fucked it all up.”

“Try texting him?”

“I’d call him,” Courfeyrac interjects.

Combeferre nods. “Yeah, that, actually. What were you doing when he said it?”

“Cuddling, sort of? On the couch. We watched a movie.”

Enjolras, in all his anxiety, has already finished the cocoa and cake. Combeferre lets Enjolras rest his head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I could call him.”

Courfeyrac decidedly sits next to Enjolras on the couch, rubbing his shoulder sweetly - it’s been a while since Enj has needed this sort of comfort, but they fall into the rhythm quickly. “Enj, love, if I were you,” he sighs, “I’d give him his space. You know how stubborn he is.” Enjolras nods - once, Grantaire said, laughing, “I’m a Taurus, being stubborn is my job.” It was funny at the time. Enjolras can’t laugh, now. “You can text him. Let him know you’re not upset with him, tell him you were just shocked. He probably won’t read them, now, but he’ll read them later.”

Enjolras’s phone buzzes on the coffee table and Combeferre picks it up. “It’s from Bahorel,” He says, relieved, and shows Enjolras the screen.

Bahorel (3:47 AM): grantaire’s being an idiot rn

Another text comes in seconds later.

Bahorel (3:48 AM): listen dude i know he’s overreacting but… (Enjolras then opens his messages to see the full text.) you gotta let him know how you feel. i don’t know what happened but he’s freaking the fuck out

Bahorel (3:48 AM): he keeps saying you don’t love him and i know for damn sure that isn’t true

Bahorel (3:48 AM): just text him or something okay. he’s not mad i think he’s just sad

Bahorel (3:49 AM): luv you xx hope it works out

Enjolras huffs a little, wanting to smile at Bahorel’s instantly-nurturing nature.

You (3:50 AM): I’m going to give him some space, get some sleep. I’ll text him in the morning. Tell him that. I know he probably doesn’t want a text from me right now.

Bahorel (3:50 AM): he may not think he does but he does. he’s starting to pass out so yeah text him in the morning x

Enjolras falls asleep on his couch, and wakes up late. His eyes hurt; they’re swollen, from crying last night. He has a text from almost every one of his friends - he expected this, because Bahorel doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut, neither does Courfeyrac, so between the two of them, everyone had to find out.

Jehan (6:23 AM): I heard what happened. You should text him. I can help you with that.

Marius (7:31 AM): hey i hope ur feeling ok

Cosette (7:46 AM): Call me later we need to talk

Eponine (8:09 AM): i’ll fucking kill you if you don’t patch things up with him i swear to god

Feuilly (9:45 AM): I’m here if you need to talk buddy :(

Bossuet (10:32 AM): Hey r is here he says you hate him? Did you fight? :( Talk to him soon he looks like he’s been crying.

Joly (10:34 AM): Come get your mans we all have work

Musichetta (10:40 AM): I’m taking the boys to work, if R isn’t out of here by the time I get off tonight, you’re getting the death penalty. I love him, but you need to work shit out.

Musichetta (10:41 AM): I love you, too, jsyk. Stop being stupid. Talk to him.

Courf (11:04 AM): hehy i had to leave for work but i will interrogate you on my break you need to talk to r he loves you n  so do i you looked so sad. i hope ur feeling better. Gotta go in now love u xx

Combeferre (12:21 PM): You awake? I’m bringing burgers.

1-555-XXX-XXXX (12:42 PM): its gavroche i stole ur number off ponine i heard what happened im on the way to lunch rn so i cant talk but you better fucking talk to him

Gavroche (12:43 PM): u dont wanna get ur ass kicked by a teenager

Enjolras’s eyes water as he reads the next message.

R♥ (12:57 PM): hey sorry about last night. its cool if you wanna like . break up.  i thought we were there and i was wrong. im sorry.

He locks his phone and tosses it onto the couch next to him, resting his head in his hands, willing away tears. He feels a warmth and a depression in the couch on the other side; Combeferre comes bearing a cheeseburger and hand-cut fries. “From that gelato place on 6th you like so much. I got gelato, too, but you were still asleep when I got home.”

Enjolras takes the place graciously, and notices that there’s already a cool glass of water on the coffee table for him. Can you be alive and still be made a saint? Enjolras thinks, idly, as he chews. His phone buzzes, and on instinct, he looks down at it.

R♥ (1:17 PM): you there?

R♥ (1:18 PM): i know i fucked up but the silent treatment still kinda sucks

Enjolras sighs deeply and sets his plate on the table, picking up his phone.

You (1:18 PM): Yeah, I’m here. Sorry. I slept late. Give me a minute, to type up what I want to say, okay?

You (1:19 PM): And I’m not mad. You didn’t fuck up.

R♥ (1:20 PM): you can say that but it’s not gonna change my mind.

Another deep sigh, and at that point, Combeferre squeezes Enjolras’s shoulder gently, then stands and goes to his bedroom.

It takes a minute to type it all up. He’s sure his food is getting cold. He doesn’t care.

You (1:31 PM): I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry. I froze. I didn’t know what to do, because I’m an idiot, and I’ve never felt anything like this before, it’s new, and I’m not used to not knowing what to do. You know that. So I froze. I fucked up, so badly. You deserve so much more than that. Grantaire, I don’t hate you. I don’t dislike you. I can’t get mad at you, or at least I can’t stay mad, because every time I see your face, I lose my ability to form words, you’re so fucking beautiful in a way I can’t begin to describe. And then you open your stupid mouth and even though you piss me off a lot I can’t be mad that you said anything because your voice is like fucking velvet and you drive me nuts every second you speak because I want to kiss you but that’ll make you stop talking. Please don’t ever stop talking to me. Listening to you talk is like reading the most interesting book in the world; the Library of Alexandria pales in comparison. You always say I’m an angel, but I think you’re confused, you’re so gentle and kind, behind all that sarcasm and bitterness is a sweetheart who just wants to see people smile; I’ve seen the way you are around kids and sometimes that makes me think maybe I want kids, I want kids with you, because you’re so fucking sweet to them it hurts. You’re so fucking talented, I’ve never cared for art or music but yours makes me feel in a way that makes Monet and Bach look like pussies. Just as a note: I can’t tell you what to do, but if you ever cut your hair, I think I’ll die, because you have the most beautiful hair in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life playing with it. Your eyes are so incredible and I know you see me staring sometimes, but you never comment on it, because you’re amazing like that, and I fucking love you, Grantaire.

You (1:32 PM): I love you so fucking much, and I froze, and I hurt you, but I want you to know that I love you.

You (1:32 PM): I don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you.

You (1:32 PM): I love you.

You (1:33 PM): And I’m well aware I’ve just written you a full-length novel. Sorry haha

Enjolras sees Grantaire typing for a second, then the dots disappear. They reappear again, then disappear - this repeats a few times before Enjolras actually gets a message.

R♥ (1:35 PM): holy shit

R♥ (1:35 PM): just

R♥ (1:36 PM): you made me cry you shithead

R♥ (1:36 PM): can you like. come over? Combeferre’s home on his lunch break right

You (1:36 PM): Yeah, let me get dressed, first. Give me, like, half an hour and I’ll be there.

R♥ (1:37 PM): ok

R♥ (1:37 PM): i love you

R♥ (1:37 PM): aaAAA i’m still nervous about saying that!!!!!!!!!!

You (1:38 PM): :’) Cute. I love you too.

R♥ (1:38 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjolras gets dressed in a rush, throwing on a band tee and those black jeans that Grantaire loves.

He gets to Grantaire’s place in 15 minutes flat.

He doesn’t even really need to knock on the door - Grantaire swings it open and pulls him into the apartment, kissing him fiercely, pushing him against the wall.

Enjolras lays his hands on R’s hips, while R lands one hand on Enjolras’s chest, the other cupping his cheek, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb.

When Grantaire pulls away, he’s panting, his cheeks are rosy and his eyes are watering. He stares up at Enjolras; there’s a heartbreaking uncertainty behind those eyes - he waits for Enjolras to speak. Enjolras rests his forehead against Grantaire’s, taking his hands in his own. Blue eyes meet deep brown, and for a moment, Enjolras is enchanted. Back to business, he thinks.

“Grantaire.” Grantaire hums in response, and holds up on of Enjolras’s hands to kiss his fingers. “I love you.”

There’s a shaky exhale. Then R is pulling Enjolras impossibly tight, burying his head in Enj’s shoulder, quivering as he whispers, “I love you so fucking much.” Enjolras can’t help but smile as he presses a kiss to Grantaire’s neck.

Well, that’s the shortest fight we’ve ever had, Enjolras thinks.

//

[leprasylacey]

(cliff)

we are falling, off that cliff at where everyone takes pictures, "the end of the world".

you, being the reckless kid you are, go to dangle your feet off the edge right away. teasing my anxiety, you look back at me and pat the grassy earth next to you, the weight of each hand making the dirt underneath crumble to the beach below. "dont be a pussy, ugly dumbass." you mumble in my direction. oh how i want to go and rip that smug grin off your face with my lips, but i don't respond, merely just sigh and make my way over, carefully dipping my feet over the edge that makes my stomach turn. im not scared of heights but for some reason i felt i needed to be, especially now. i look over at you and frown, thinking about the times you've made me feel pain inside my heart. and then i smile, because i remember the genuine joy you've brought my soul. i cant remember the day or the time, but i can remember the way you slowly lifted your eyes off the distant horizon and locked them with mine. stone cold, they drown me. i want to be submerged in them for enternity. i glance off, its hard to look at you too long or i get red in the face. wrapping your arm around my waist, i turn and slowly rest my palm on your face, the weight turning your head to face mine. you lean in to kiss me, and i honest to god will never pull away. we kissed and kissed, the wind softly but surely making our hair fly around us. "you're from a movie, or from a dream" i think to myself as you pull away to smile at me. i love that. dont ever stop smiling at me. dont ever stop kissing my forehead because its in reach. dont ever stop twirling the ends of my hair while im dozing off on your chest. i tell myself i will never forget this moment, a fairytale moment. nothing will ever compare. "do you love me?" i hear you whisper. i don't respond quickly, so you take your hand off my hip. i put it back on, and tuck the hair thats flying in your face behind my ear. "ive fell inlove with you, and i will never be able to find myself falling out of it. i cant fall in reverse.". i let go from your grasp, thats become limp, and pull my weight forward. i teeter on the edge, but you hold me back from falling. but then you let your weight pull you forward as well. "i cant fall in reverse either" you say, as you slowly slide. i go to kiss you one last time, and as our lips locked, i saw your eyes, and we both fell. into the endless ocean below.

i can still feel the love take over my body as i woke up from that dream. i felt at peace