#i cant tell if it's anxiety or im just a pussy

[yoshiko-and-the-hikikomori]

ooc || i love coming back from the dead to post random reblogs that are slightly linked to katai <3 then not roleplay with anyone cause im so cool and just built different

[barbies1shots]

You dont have to write it if you dont want to buttt can we have reader getting revenge on toxic!sukuna THAT MAN NEEDS TO PAYYY🤬

just imagine her cheating back and then finally running away forever🤭

YESS !! we finally need a break from toxic!sukuna .

toxic!sukuna part1 toxic!sukuna part2

☆ - TOXIC themes , cheating , lying , mentions of family , praise , name calling

fedup!reader who blocks Sukuna on all media.

fedup!reader who goes to the police and files a restraining order on him.

fedup!reader who breaks down as she figures out what happened with the videos and pictures he took.

fedup!reader who clears up all the drama between her and Sukuna, claiming that everything was not consented to and most of it was abuse.

fedup!reader who goes out to try and refresh herself, wanting to start a new life away from the negative people.

fedup!reader who meets a nice man, who offers to help her move.

fedup!reader who moved different states to get away from him.

fedup!reader who now takes self defense lessions and now is at the top of her class.

fedup!reader who goes to a dinner date with her new man and figures out that a healthy relationship is what she needs.

fedup!reader who smiles and laughs in appreciation as her new man gave her jewelry as a gift.

fedup!reader who now is riding that man, making him whimper out 'pleases' and 'thank yous'

fedup!reader who smiles happily when she looks at her new man, (your fav).

fedup!reader who crys out when that man fucks her dumb, who fucks her so lovingly that shes numb from the inside out.

fedup!reader who clings onto her new man as he finishes inside of her, mumbling about how good she is.

fedup!reader who looks in the mirror and sees Sukuna standing behind her.

fedup!reader who screams to loudly and darts to the door before Sukuna can get a chance to get his hands on her.

fedup!reader who cries as she calls the cops when she hears him running after her.

fedup!reader who runs to a stop before turning on her heal before punching that man straight in his throat, having him crumbled at her feet.

fedup!reader who saw Sukuna choke on air as his throat seemed to be closing in.

"Didnt i fucking tell you to leave me alone?! I want nothing to do with you Sukuna! Youve hurt me in ways unimaginable and im done! im done with you, im done with your nasty ass head, im done with the way you try to claim me like a damn pig!"

fedup!reader who stares Sukuna straight in his eye as his hands are cuffed behind his back.

fedup!reader who flips her middle finger up at him as hes being driven away in a cop car.

fedup!reader who eventually breaks down crying as the past traumatic moments and adrenaline finally catch up to her.

fedup!reader who looks up and sees her man talk to her in a calm voice and pulling her into his chest.

"look at me, baby. i swear i wont ever leave you, i will make sure you are so happy that it will be sickening. i love you so much, baby, you can never compare. let me hold you, let me in and let me help heal you. i promise to be there at your lowest, at your highest. trust me to help pick yourself back and put yourself back on the right track. i will be by your side."

fedup!reader who burns every single letter sent out to her from Sukuna.

fedup!reader who, then months later, is now in therapy and is going so much better now.

fedup!reader whos therapist told her to make peace with the one thing thats making her have anxiety ridden episodes.

fedup!reader who vists the prison Sukuna is locked in.

"Miss me baby?"

fedup!reader whos eyes well up in tears as she explans to him everything he did wrong.

fedup!reader who stares at Sukuna with hatred as he screams in her face behind the glass.

"you cant lie, you bitch! you were begging me to let you cum! you were begging to let me fuck that pussy! you were begging me to hug and love on you! ive told you, you can escape from me, baby! give me a chance, ill make you love all again!"

fedup!reader who walks out the room with Sukuna yelling at her back that she loved everything he did.

fedup!reader who walks outside and takes a deep breathe before getting in the car and kissing (your fav) on the cheek with a nice smile.

fedup!reader who helps other women in similar situations and now has gotten a part of her life back.

fedup!reader who now has gotten away and is the most happy she will ever be away from Sukuna.

fedup!reader who posts on social media her family, two boys and a kitten, hoping Sukuna will see it when he gets out.

fedup!reader who laughs as she knows Sukuna isnt shit anymore.

ahhhhh getting revenge on Sukuna , ik it wasnt violent but if you want it violent, TELL ME !!

-Aizawas BARB !

[wanderingconstellations]

yua i know your requests are flooded so let this one sit here until you're ready, but i needed to share

i need scaramouche to fuck my anxiety/overthinking away

he just keeps out degrading my overthinking with filthy words, kissing/brushing off my genuine tears away, me repeatedly saying love you because its true 🥺 and he doesnt know what to say back because hes so overstimulated, we cant think, and he loves me so much more, so he does what he do best, degrading me oh so lovingly while we repeatedly fuck until who knows what am, until we physically literally cant anymore, but we're trained people, hes a former fatui ffs, our strength and stamina helps us for so long, maybe even a day, and only resting for a few minutes after cumming, then going again and again literally missing a day or two's worth of commission work or anything else because we're just that addicted

need him to scream my name with "fuck" "im cumming" nnh need him to breed me so bad

I can imagine him going on until the sunrises, maybe until lunch time if that's possible.

Breeding. Mating Press. Creampie. Scara being messy as fuck with his cum. Cockdrunk Reader. Pussydrunk Scara. Fem! Reader (mentioned of she but it's mostly gn with fem bodied reader.) Overstim. Scara absolutely obliterating you in bed. Messy. Degradation, mixed with slight praise.

Your head his spinning, your mind is filled with nothing but the person who's literally fucking you into the oblivion. His tender hands caresses your body, worshipping n' peppering it in kisses, coating it with his cum until he's overstimulated.

Your eyes scroll up to the back of your head, nails digging n' scratching his back so deliriously that he has to fuck his cum deeper into you :((

Lewd squelching filled your ears, his cock bullies its way once more into your cum-filled pussy, fucking more of his cum into you.

"Look at you..so messy, all sprawled out for me.. Love you s'much.."

He grunts, pulling his cock out once more and slamming it back inside, watching how more cum leaks out. It's so satisfying. Your pussy is so good, so nice and snuggly, sooo warm..

"I bet you'll look good with a swollen belly, won't you? You're such a sweet little thing, all dumb and pretty for me."

You whine at the lost of his cock, but only to be soon flipped over to your stomach and your ass raised up in the air just tells you what next.

"Scaraaa..need s'much more.."

He chuckles at your words, simply pistoling his dick in and relishing how your warm walls squeeze and milk his cock.

"Aww..did the little slut have enough yet? I don't think she is.. it's not like her little pussy would mind being filled some more, right?"

Fuck. It's so good, so addicting. His cock is hitting all the right spots, you can't help but just squirt all over while the tip of his dick was kissing your sweet spot so nicely that you'll cum again. A creamy ring was visible on his shaft, it's just so lovely isn't it? <33

"Wait..ScaRA!! SCARA!! S'TOO MUCH! C-CAN'T CUM ANYMORE!!"

Your body twitched, writhing while your sweet lover was relentlessly pounding from behind in an inhumane pace. Your head is spinning, the pleasure is so good, you don't even remember why you were even crying in the first place.

"ooOooOH! SCARA!!! R-RIGHT THERE! RIGHT!! F-FUCK!"

Incoherent babbles filled his ears. His lips curled into a lustful grin as you cum all over his cock once again, coating it with your creamy essence. Your walls were twitching, body sweating and covered with his own cum.

"Would you look at that... Your dripping cunny is still sucking me in. So.. so fucking needy of you, but that's okay— ngh! You're my little slut to fuck after all.."

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Dark!Aemond x reader

Ashes Burn: chapter two

Aemond x fem oc/reader

Tags: Show setting, gore, blood, dubcon

🔷Summary: Your hometown will soon fall, and you become noticed by the one-eyed Kinslayer who lays siege to it.

🔷Author's note: Dark!Aemond is not something i throw around lightly. It is not something i take lightly as a warning. Just so you know. Some people sometimes click on dark aemond but they dont want dark aemond, and thats fine but this is dark dark aemond so i warn ya as my author, my job is to warn ya (((apparently))

🔷Wordcount :7939 (THAT CANT BE RIGHT THATS HUGE)

Warnings below the cut but mind your step!

Gore, abuse, kicking heads, dub-con, licking, fingering (f) orgasm denial, orgasm control, smut, spankings, pussy smacking, erections, blood, guards are terrified of aemond. Trauma. Dead family members. Normal hotd stuff, basically.

Did you miss part one? Catch up

or dont and jump right in.

Im not your parental figure.

im your wine aunt

You hold your brother's head above your own as you are paraded around town. Terrified villagers have been forced out of their homes and are forced to watch the parade of your brother's body. Aemond has placed you in front of him on the horse, his hands casually holding the reins of the horse and your belly that is filled with fear and anxiety.

You try to remain strong and brave but everyone knows when you are paraded around what will await you. Your ass still stings from where he hit you earlier. His intentions are clear as crystal and you fear you won't be a maiden for much longer.

You shake and tremble on the horse, muttering prayers you learned and messing them up in the process that is how fast you are muttering them. 

People you have known all your life all rounded up and watch as you and the prince parade over a road of blood and corpses, him as the clear Victor of this battle. 

You eventually reach your home, your arms hurt from holding the head. Aemond simply grabs your wrists, taking your brother's head from you. You can make out Karst's eyes and his wonderful features that remind you of your father.

He laughs as he throws your brother's head on the tiles outside of your home, in the courtyard. Aemond kicks it through a window inside, causing a disturbance and an uproar of terrified servants. He does not bother to collect you. For a moment there is hope.

You take the reins he abandoned, your ears pulsing with blood as you feel your heartbeat rise. Until a voice reminds you coldly that you are a prince's pet now. An object for the prince to entertain himself with. ‘’Please, my Lady. The prince shall punish you if dared to run. He will capture you, and so many innocents will die as punishment.’’ It is the Dornish commander.

You blink back tears.

‘’I don't care.’’ Yes, you do. You care and you care too much at that, sadly. But he made you taste your brother's blood. He has your family, yes. But they are not bastards. They are pure blooded and you know Aemond will kill you once you bore him.

The commander decides to risk his life by standing in front of the horse. ‘’Yes you do, my Lady. You have a good, gentle heart. Please get off the horse, I won't tell him. I promise.’’ You have to believe him. You have to trust he will keep his word. You lower yourself from the horse and follow the Dornish commander back inside your old house.

Already, you can see someone destroyed antique vases by the door. Two soldiers are busy slamming a chest and trying to break it. It is locked tightly and contains scrolls. You doubt they know that, however. For them it could contain riches, fame and money. No one, not a single commander, the Dornish one included, stops them from ramsacking your home. 

 You find Aemond sitting on a chair in the dining area, watching as terrified servants run around him. Some have dropped food and plates.  ‘’Someone collect me my pet.’’  He orders. You know it is you who he speaks of.

He notices you and grins, straightening his back. ‘’Ah, there you are. I was just about to fetch you.’’ You refuse to meet his eye. He grins, letting you be rebellious. ‘’I like your home. It is quite poorly decorated but it fits you.’’  There is an insult there yet you do not dare to defend yourself.

The Dornish commander gently gives you a slight push so you stumble in the direction of the prince. Aemond puts the head of your brother on the table, crossing his own legs. ‘’You must think me a monster, feeding all those traitors to my dragon.’’ You agree but you know he will turn the tale around. He wants you to see it from his point of view.

You huff. ‘’They were no traitors. A traitor would have run.’’ And that is the truth. Karst was not a traitor. Diandra was not a traitor. Neither was your father or the men who followed him. They were heroes and loyal and fought for their home.

He gets up.

The prince grabs you suddenly by the hips, bringing your bodies closer to one another. His hot breath grazes over your cheeks as you feel blood rush to it. ‘’So she speaks, at long last. I was worried you had lost your tongue.’’ He mocks, you can tell he was never worried about your inability to speak ever again.

You put his hands from your hips.

‘’Only my appetite.’’ You remark. Aemond does not seem to hear you. His gaze is focused on Midy, your favourite kitchen maid. She is as always whistling and singing to herself when preparing food, even now where other servants are terrified or in hiding. She is a special soul, your father would say.

You worry for Midy, as you can see Aemond has clearly noticed her. ‘’You. You have a name, I presume?’’ Midy nods, turning around with a broad smile, while cutting a dead chicken to pieces. She even makes a little curtsy.

‘’Yes, my Lord. Midy my Lord.’’ You want to warn her but one glance from Aemond and you are silenced again. You know what is at stake. Her life. Perhaps even your own.

‘’You know this Lady?’’ He asks, gesturing vaguely at you. Midy nods, enthusiastically. Of course she knows you. You are the bastard of the Lord she served, and the only one of his daughters that had patience and kindness for servants.

Midy does not understand the danger she is in. She does not know that Aemond is not her friend. ‘’Lady Y/N my Lord of course I do! She is sweet and kind. She has been here since she was a baby.’’ She adds, with a smile, as if cherishing those good old days. ‘’It is high time someone would try to court her.’’ She really is too good for this world.

Courting. Not a conquering. A Courting. That would be fun. It would make Annalysa mad with rage and jealousy. This night would end with your stomach fluttering not filled with dread. Eryka would murder you. Karst would murder Aemond. It would be a fun and unrealistic scenario. Because why would Prince Aemond even entertain the thought of bothering with a marriage with you? He hates bastards. 

You glance at Aemond who has trouble hiding his smirk at her description. You pull your nails as a single tear falls from your eye. Aemond will not court you. He talked about conquering you, making you his ‘pet’. 

For a brief moment, you consider what would happen if you would tell Midy who Aemond really is, what he is really after and what he will really do. But one look at her kind brown loyal eyes and you know it won’t end well. She will perhaps attack Aemond in your defense, he will miraculously avoid, clearly favoured by the Seven damned gods themselves, and you will lose your friend for nothing. So, you remain silent. ‘’You know what my Lady likes?’’ He asks, as you silently cry.

The answer comes within mere moments as Midy thinks this an act of kindness. ‘’Strawberrycupcakes, lemoncakes, pastries and cakes, my lord. Although, she is not allowed much of the Lord of the house. His ladybitch took care of that.’’ Midy murmurs, acting too familiar with Aemond, who laughs, amused by this knowledge.

‘’Midy, be kind.’’ You warn her. ‘’She does her best.’’ Lady Fyona is not the kindest to you, but she is not as horrible as her two daughters. She at least tries to tolerate you.

‘’Arrange something delicious for her and me.’’ Prince Aemond interrupts you sharply. ‘’I wish to try your delicious cooking and to feed my pet.’’ Finally Midy understands.

The blood leaves her face likely and she looks at Aemond as if he is the Stranger himself, here to collect her. ‘’Y-You're not here to court-’’ She knows now.

Aemond grins and you know he must enjoy her fear.

‘’No. I'm here to conquer. Which I did, but now I'm hungry.’’ He gestures to the kitchen as if to send her away. She obeys and leaves him instantly.

The prince turns his head to you.

 ‘’I have no use for you if you were to faint. When was the last time you ate, if at all?’’ He asks, taking in your trembling hands and roaring stomach.

You had a bowl of soup yesterday. 

‘’Last night during supper.’’ You try to quiet your stomach. 

The prince looks out the window, to where his horse is peacefully eating outside. ‘’Supper? It's almost dark again.’’ You can tell.

You stumble, leaning for support on the table where your family used to dine at. ‘’Sit with me.’’ He orders you. ‘’Sit down, and get something inside that stomach.’’ You aren't sure how to. You aren't hungry ever since he killed all those people. All the heads he cut, the corpses he burned with his dragon. It is too much for you.

And you can't sit down. Not at that table. You aren't allowed to. You are a dirty bastard to sit at your family's table would be treason and your stepmother has hit you enough in the past for it. Aemond thinks however you are insulting him. ‘’What is it?’’ You have trouble explaining it. It is embarrassing.

Yet you know you must explain it.

‘’I'm a bastard. I'm supposed to eat away from the family table.’’ You tell him, your voice timid. 

He chuckles. A few men join in as you stare at your feet. ‘’Did your daddy not like it when you ate at his table, sweet pet?’’ You shake your head, your stomach roaring once more.

‘’No.’’ Your voice is a quiet soft muttering. You rub your arms.

‘’Were you spanked, if you tried?’’ Aemond wonders. You have never been spanked before and you feel the blood rush to your cheeks at his suggestive little smirk.

‘’No.’’ You mutter again. 

‘’You know what? Your daddy is my prisoner now, pet. I think you can sit your pretty bastard ass down.’’ You do as he wishes, picking the chair that normally belonged to Karst. He won’t ever sit that chair again. You won’t ever hear his voice again. Aemond made sure of that.

You feel a soft smack on your hand and flinch, shocked that the prince lightly smacked you.

‘’No, little pet. I want you to warm me..’’ He murmurs in your ear and your belly roars as you subtly try to free yourself, but it's no use as his grip only tightens.

He is thinking of his lap. You know it. But you must try to deflect his intentions. ‘’Shall I bring candles?’’ You mutter. ‘’Or perhaps a blanket?’’

He scoffs. He does not need a blanket. He is not truly cold. He is simply making use and a spectacle of you. To mock you. He sits back down in your father's chair.

You are grabbed and squeak afraid. ‘’You're a witty clever thing.’’ He speaks, before sitting you down firmly on his lap. ‘’No, you'll warm me. I told you you were to keep me warm during my conquest and you will.’’ You whimper.

He chuckles, kissing your hair. ‘’My pretty pet.’’ He murmurs. You don't feel pretty at all. You feel weak and small on his lap. You try to move, to find comfort but it is no use. You are frightened and terrified. 

Midy comes back from the kitchen with a tray of food. She does not help you fight Aemond. She does avert her eyes, ignoring you both. ‘’I will feed her anything first.’’ He barks at her suddenly, causing you to flinch. ‘’Just in case you thought to poison me.’’ He adds. Great. As if being his pet is not bad enough; you'll be forced to be a taster too.

Midy is not impressed by his behaviour. ‘’I figured. I made the muffin for her lady. All the food is poison free. But please, feed her first.’’ She places various pastries with fruit bases in front of the prince and you. You can't move.

Aemond picks up one of the plates with a strawberry muffin on it.

‘’What is going on here exactly? My pet has not been fed.’’ You avoid looking at Midy.  ‘’She told me she had food. Last night. What is the meaning of this?’’ 

You had time for breakfast this morning but someone ran off with a horse and got herself into trouble. ‘’I had to save Diandra first.’’ Your sister will always be a priority.

Aemond grabs your chin so firmly that you cry out. Midy sets a foot in your direction but understands her interfering will do more harm than good. ‘’You will do no foolish things anymore. You are mine now. And I want you well fed for what comes next.’’  He warns you with a soft slap on your knee.

You repeat his words in your head, becoming anxious. What can he possibly need you for?

‘’Leave us.’’ Midy waits for your command, ignoring the prince, her conqueror and the man that holds your lives in his hands. ‘’Wench! Leave us!’’ He yells. You nod quickly, granting her permission. And Midy leaves.

Aemond cuts off a piece of the muffin. ‘’Open wide.’’ He tells you. You quietly burst into soft sobs. He grabs your hair and pulls it, lifting your head in your neck so he may feed you easier. ‘’Wide.’’ He groans again.

This time you obey and the piece of juicy strawberry muffin is laid on your tongue. You chew and swallow like an obedient girl. Aemond brings his thumb to his mouth before making it wet, cleaning your lips of crumbs and juice. ‘’Tonight, I will ask the same of you. You best obey then.’’ You nod, absent at his words. You try to understand what he could possibly mean.

‘’You wish to kiss me? Is that it?’’ You are insecure.  You have never been kissed before.

He scoffs again. ‘’If you call that kissing, of course my sweet; let us call it kissing.’’ You try to reach for a fork but he grabs your hand slamming it on the table painfully before you can. You whimper once more, in pain as you put your hands on your lap. ‘’I don't trust you with silverware yet. You will be fed.’’ He tells you running a hand down your left knee.

You nod hesitantly. Aemond cuts the lemoncake in pieces for you and brings the pieces to your mouth, feeding you as if you can't eat yourself. 

It should not feel intimate. It should not feel as exciting and unknown to you as it does. But sitting on his warm warrior lap, having his unprovoked attention, and him, a prince feeding you, a bastard makes all sorts of confusing things happen. 

You don't pay attention, and some of the juice ends up on your chin. You try to wipe it away.

‘’Come here, clumsy thing…’’ Aemond whispers in your ear. Your face is turned to his and he brings his mouth to your chin, licking away the lemon juice as you gasp softly and stiffen. Aemond's hands hold you tightly so you may not escape. 

A soft delicate moan leaves his lips, coming straight from his gut, perhaps his manhood. ‘’Mhm…’’ You never heard such an intriguing yet terrifying sound.

Once you sit back comfortably against his front you can't help but notice a small irritation that is poking you from behind. ‘’Do you have a belt perhaps? Something is poking me. Irritating me.’’ You try not to sound too whiny. It is not as firm as a rock, but something is bothering you and poking your tailbone.

He smirks. ‘’My apologies.’’ That is all he says with a chuckle. 

You don't understand at first.

‘’Just take it off.’’ You tell him as another piece of cake  is shoved in your face. You obediently open your mouth, and Aemond feeds you another piece of delicious cake.

You chew and bite, savouring the good taste.

He whispers in your ear again.

‘’I can't do that, unfortunately. I'm very attached to that part.’’ You remember reading a romance book where the female lead was engaging in behaviour unsuited for her station, which brought her male lover so much joy that he felt...

One word crosses your mind. Erected. ‘’O,’’ You manage to squeak out. ‘’I-’’ You become at a loss for words and embarrassed, mortified and silent.

‘’Just enjoy your cake for now.’’ He softly touches your shoulders when feeding you another price. The cake is good. It might be the only good thing left in your life. Will this be a regular thing? How long until he trusts you with silver? How long until he bores of you and kills you? All sort of unpleasant thoughts you don’t want to think of. And yet you do.

Aemond leaves a soft kiss on your head. ‘’Good girl.’’ He coos in your ear, approvingly. You stiffen a bit more, blood rising to your cheeks. You never liked it when someone called you a 'good girl' and he is no exception. ‘’Interesting.’’ He comments a moment later after studying your reaction.

You hope he is pleased for now. ‘’What is?’’ You nearly shout, uncomfortable with his staring.

But to think he would make this easy would be a mistake.

‘’Nothing.’’ He shrugs a little too, grinning as you worry only grow and grow.

He decides to change the subject as well. ‘’I'm glad you decided to eat.’’ As if you had a choice. He would have shoved it down your throat, you are sure of it.

You sniffle, scoffing.

‘’Was it an option to refuse? What good am I without food? A human can't think without food.’’ You are thirsty too. You need to eat and to drink so you can work out a escape plan for you and your family.

Aemond sighs, before impatiently tapping with his feet against the ground. ‘’Damn servants. Someone get in here!’’He shouts loudly, and you flinch at his hard voice. A servant maid comes rushing in, someone else than Midy. You don’t know her name. She is fairly new. She makes a curtsy, her hands shaking. ‘’My prince?’’

‘’Get us wine.’’ He says, as if its that obvious. ‘’One of you wenches gave me food, without wine. I should have her flayed to say the least for that crime.’’ You stare at the cake, forcing your anger out by staring it down, because you can’t hit Aemond.

The girl gets to work, searching in cabinets and chests alike until she finds you two different cups and a bottle of very poorly aged wine. ‘’What a useless servant. I should have my dragon fest upon you. But Vhagar does not appreciate stupid wenches.’’ Aemond speaks to you after she is gone. 

You are handed a cup first, by him. You taste it first for the prince, aware this could kill you.

But you trust your servants. It is a good wine. Not old, not ancient, not anything Aemond would have been given. It is decent. But after the day you had, it is perfect. ‘’How does the wine taste?’’ Aemond asks after watching you drink as eager as a kitten by a mother cat.

You feel better, still terrified and worried, but you aren't hungry anymore. ‘’Quite good.’’ It is the truth. The sweet taste of the wine makes your head a little lighter and a little less troubled. You do remind yourself to watch out around Aemond with the alcohol. You don't know how this will end.

He sits a little straighter, moving you unintentionally over his lap, causing an unfamiliar sensation burning between your legs. ‘’I wish to taste your wine.’’ His voice is a few octaves deeper, his pupil is slightly widened.

You obediently hand him the other remaining cup. You have no desire to fight him or to get angry. It is just wine.  ‘’Yes, you shall.’’ 

But you are not prepared for what happens next. Instead of taking your cup, he throws it on the ground, spilling it and grabs you by the bodice of your dress, dragging you closer. His mouth opens and roughly pushes onto yours, as his strong arms restrain you until you stop fighting him. Once your guard is down, his left hand slips from your wrist that he pinned to your legs. Your lips open for a moment to breathe and he takes this moment. He kisses you and plunders you too.

His tongue licks out your mouth, tasting every drop you had as your lips press against one another. ‘’Quite good indeed.’’ He tells you when you are panting softly. ‘’I see you are a quick student.’’ He looks at your chest area where your nippels have hardened as two gemstones.

You curse yourself and quickly try to cover yourself after that kiss.

‘’I didn't mean to-’’  You have to defend yourself. You are not a harlot.

He chuckles slowly, almost disheartening and mockingly.

‘’Such a needy girl. Good thing I captured you, hm? Is your cunt wet as well?’’ He wonders out loud, and you are thankful your servants are all dismissed.

You remain defiant.

‘’I don't know what that is.’’ Yes you do, but you have no desire to play his games.

Aemond's good eye slightly twitches before it lowers suggestively to the space between your legs, that is still covered with the fabric of your dress. You know what he referred to. Yet you pretend you don't know.

He speaks, wettening his lips with the edge of his tongue. ‘’It's what a man fucks when his lover is on her knees. It's a little small gate to pure delight, one can enter and pleasure will build if you keep fucking it.’’ He describes it oddly. It sounds painful and shameful. ‘’It's fun for the woman too.’’ He adds once he sees your judgmental glare.

You never heard that before outside of your romance novels. Pleasure was never a reason for you to marry even as a bastard. ‘’Is it?’’ You ask, your voice is a little timid. You are curious. Of course you are. You pleasured yourself before but a man, an actual man of flesh and blood...

He nods, clearly enjoying how eager and patient you listen to him. ‘’Yes, pet. It can be very fun for the woman too, if she finds herself a skilled lover.’’ You wonder if he is such a skilled lover. 

But you wonder so quietly. He is not a lover material. He is the opposite of it. He killed dozens of innocent people and trapped your father and your sister. He killed your brother and made you carry his head around. 

You can not deny that he is handsome, as a conqueror that came straight from a historic book, but you can not deny that he is your enemy either. It is best to remain wary and to keep up your guard.

His hands rub your left knee softly patting you when his right hand caresses your face, feeling the warmth of your flesh. ‘’But, as we are just master and pet, well, I'm afraid your pleasures must be earned.’’ Earned. You don't like the sound of that. He chuckles and leans in a little closer.

And the words 'master' and 'pet' send shivers down your spine.

‘’What of your pleasures?’’ You wonder, putting your own needs aside. You need to know what will happen to you.

His response is short and brief.

‘’Isn't that obvious? You'll take care of that from now on. And don't you dare to....disobey or I will punish you too.’’ He grins and you can only imagine how horrible he will punish you. You don't think you saw what he is fully capable of yet. And yet what you already saw terrifies you. You don't want to meet this monster. You don't want to see the bloodshed.

And there is one final question to be asked. Until now, there have been unsubtle innuendos about his plans with you. Slapping your ass, calling you his and now the pleasure and the face licking. He plans on taking you as his conquest tonight, part of you understands it. And you are terrified. ‘’So you'll...You'll…’’

Aemond suddenly snaps his head at his two soldiers. ‘’You two. Go find another person to bother with your needless breathing. Me and the Lady wish to be alone.’’

They understand they can better leave than stay if they wish to remain alive. ‘’Enjoy, my Prince.’’ One of them says, referring to you as if you are just another fruity pastry. You glare at him, causing Aemond to chuckle. ‘’Show that little cunt what dragons do with sheep.’’ He adds when he sees your fiery glare. ‘’Should you bore of her; We always look for strong-willed whores.’’

And there is your fear. You fear Aemond will bore himself with you soon and pass you down. You expect Aemond to chuckle. But instead you feel him push you to stand up and hear him stand up and hear flesh connect with flesh and a sharp grunt. ‘’That's quite enough familiarity. I'm your prince, do not forget yourself.’’ The soldier has a handprint on his face and you understand that the prince must have disciplined him.

‘’I am sorry, I thought the girl was spoils.’’ You never suspected he would go as far as to hit one of his own men for you. Over an insult too.

You understand that Aemond did not do it for you. He did it for himself.  ‘’She is. But she is my spoils. I will claw out the eyes of every man that looks at her funny, and take the tongue of every soul who dares to insult her. Do you wish to be the first?’’ He asks.

You speak up. ‘’That won't be needed, my prince. I am not insulted-’’ you have to try to save the man's life. So what if he called you a whore? He does not need to die for his own foolishness, all men would die if that was the case.

Aemond does not need to move an inch in your direction or to raise his voice. All he needs to do is be and exist and look in your direction. ‘’You'll be quiet.’’ Is all the prince says.

You obey, silently wiping at your eyes with a soft nod. The prince smacks the man again, drawing blood. He seems to like that. ‘’Well? Will you be the first?’’ He asks the soldier.

The man shakes his head afraid.

‘’No, my prince.’’

Aemond grimaces a little disappointed. ‘’Good. Then let me fuck my sheep in peace.’’ You whimper wordlessly as the guard leaves. Sheeps are common export in your town, but you fear he is not talking about an actual sheep. He is talking about you. 

Aemond walks back to the table where you obediently sit, quiet and shaking like a leaf. He counts the silverware. You understand that you had an opportunity and did not take it. A fork or a knife would be great to defend yourself with. And what did you do? You watched your captor abuse another man.

The silence that follows is worse than any word he could have spoken. You watch as he cuts off a piece of the strawberry cake and takes a piece himself, his fingers red with the juice that looks like blood.  ‘’Little Lamb. I like that for you.’’ He speaks as he brings the strawberry cake to his lips. 

Your shaking becomes worse.

He scoffs. ‘’You know why it fits?’’ He asks as if you are a stupid little girl. You know why he likes the sheep for you. Because of your home town.

‘’We are known for our sheep.’' You mutter. You don't want to talk about it. You want to go to your bedroom and forget this even happened.

There is that scoffing little laugh again. ‘’It could have been as simple as that, but it's not. A sheep is a flock member. It does not understand or want things. It only does what its shepard wants.’’ That is not true. You know the sheep too well to understand that sheeps certainly have wills and minds of their own.

You imagine he has not seen a lot of sheep. ‘’Sheep are stubborn animals. They are often underestimated.’’

He scoffs, and you understand he must have taken your words as a warning or even a threat. You did not intend for it. ‘’I found out a long time ago I am not a patient man, little Lamb. If you rebel or disobey; you will regret it deeply.’’ He warns you his voice is cold.

You are quick to apologise and to appease him. ‘’It was not meant as a threat…’’ You hope he believes you.

Aemond ignores you, simply throwing a plate on the ground causing you to flinch. ‘’I think it was. I think you are ungrateful.’’ You are not. You know that. 

He sighs before approaching you, grabbing you by your neck. You are yanked in his direction with your face and you sniffle when he brushes your face, smearing tears everywhere. ‘’Perhaps, I need to be firm. You are mine now. You will likely disobey sooner or later and I must put you in your place whenever you do such a foolish thing.’’ You don't like the sound of that.

He continues to softly rub your lips with his fingers, his eye looking at you as if you are a delicious reward. ‘’Why would I wait for you to rebel or to disobey? If I punish you right now, you would not even think of it.’’

You weakly protest. You have to remain calm and obedient. You need to calm him down.  ‘’I don't want punishment.’’ It is a weak soft request, a beg for mercy and a coward's path. You should not let fear rule your life but this man terrifies you.

Aemond has finished his cake.

‘’No, I imagine you don't. It would not be effective if you did.’’ He grins. ‘’I shall clear the table. You can lay with your chest on the top, I shall remove your skirts and small clothes and-’’ your mind fills with terrible images. 

‘’No, gods…’’ You mutter unsure if anyone can hear you. You even eye the door to the entrance of your home, debating if you should run. Judging by his smirk and slightly narrowed eyes, he has seen that you want to flee and challenges you, no begs you to give it a try. So he may capture you, and punish you.

Aemond ignores your cries. ‘’And I will spank you. I won't fuck you yet. But you can rest assured you will be punished.’’ This is the second time he mentioned spanking and you wonder quietly if he is sane.

He pats the table, inviting you over when rubbing his hands, after he threw all the food the maids worked so hard on away or simply on the ground for the rats the find. ‘’Lay down, so we can begin. ‘’He speaks folding his hands on his back. ‘’I won't hesitate to collect you.’’ He adds when you don't move an inch.

You bend on the table, your face and chest on the cold marble. Aemond takes stand behind you, lifting the skirt of your dress, revealing your legs and your small clothes. He sinks his fingers inside of your small clothes, before pulling them down as you wordlessly gasp. You feel his hands cup and touch the cheeks of your butt.

You never had another's fingers so close to your entrance or so close to your skin. 

You hear him almost groan or moan again, before squeezing your cheeks.

‘’Mhm..’’

You try to bring your stiffened body to ease. You calm yourself down and tell yourself the prince will only spank you for now. He said so himself. 

Your breath becomes less chased and ragged and your nerves settle. Until you feel something soft poke the area between your cheeks, poking and mocking you. Your hips are grabbed and you are slightly tilted. He can see your lady parts Fully now.

You close your leg with a yelp.

‘’Spread them, I have not finished inspecting you.’’ He commands you with a firm slap on your front. You cry out and obey, spreading for the prince in a instant, in a impulse to avoid more pain.

‘’This wasn't part of the agreement. I would be spanked!’’ You yell in anger and frustration.

He only grins, but does discipline you for your outburst by hitting your wet folds two sharp times. You cry and moan at the same time, tears shining in your eyes.

‘’You'll get it in a moment, you can rest assured.’’ You would know better than to trust his word.

‘’A maiden's cunt.’’ He says after he takes in your wetness. His cold fingers press softly against your front before he slips a finger down between your folds, gently touching and rubbing your pearl as you are overwhelmed with too many emotions at once.

Grief. Denial. Anger. Humiliation. And finally...arousal and acceptance.

Aemond likes the soft gasps and moans that leave your throat as you are touched by him. You worry if anyone can see you this way  ‘’So nervous. No need pet. I am just looking at how well you respond to touch.’’ He says, as if this is a game. He rubs a few times over your pearl, your sexual needs rising. ‘’As I suspected. You respond very well. Good girl. Just enjoy yourself. Just get your cunny wet.’’ You don't want to. You want to stop your own desires.

He grins as you cry and fight your emotions. ‘’So wet. I wonder why. It can't be the thought of having the big bad prince spank you, that has you this way can it?’’ You will kill him.

‘’Please…’’ You beg, and a lonely tear escapes. Do you beg him to continue, to let you be, to stop, to kill you or to have mercy? You don’t know. You really don’t know. And you don’t want to know.

You are spread on your father's table with a man between your legs, rubbing your cunt. This is wrong. ‘’You are so innocent and sweet, my little lamb.’’ He coos in your ear. ‘’What is with the little tears hm?’’ He mocks you now too

‘’Are you worried about the pain of the act? Or are you worried I will kill you afterwards? What troubles you so?’’ You worry for both now too.

You confess your fear to him. It is best to be honest. You know he will do what he likes anyway. Your fears wont stop him. ‘’That you will bore yourself to death with me and pass me to your men. That I'll be defiled and shared.’’

A horrible image is again formed in your brain where Aemond watches as two of his guards....

You shiver and Aemond squeezes your folds, pinching the soft delicate and wet skin. ‘’As long as you can keep my interest, that won't be happening.’’ He says as if it is that simple.

And that is what you are worried about. You open your mouth but before you can speak his finger is inserted between your legs, entering your pure untouched body. You never met someone as daring and bold as him, fucking you on his mere fingers without even taking you out for dinner first.

You have instincts that become awakened. The urge to roll your hips to his fingers and the urge to hold his hands so you may fuck in peace. Yet you force yourself to remain silent and still. You will not make this easy.

Eventually the fucking stops, leaving you high and needy. The finger is drenched in white transparent substance almost like sweat or perhaps something that looks like poorly made whipped cream. 

Aemond forces his dirty finger against your lips. You do not open or respond. ‘’Taste it. Suck my finger off.’’ He commands you, in his rough aroused voice.  ‘’Taste your own wetness.’’ He adds, shoving the fingers against your lips and letting your lips taste your own juices.

You push his hands away in a hurtful and confused moment. You feel like he asked too much of you.  ‘’No. That is gross. I've entertained you enough.’’ You declare.

Sometimes in history books, maesters write when heroes knew they had dug their own graves. This was your moment. You knew it.

Aemond drops the finger, insulted and slightly tilts his head, studying for a cold good minute before speaking. ‘’No? You have not? Have you forgotten who of us rules this town? It's not you, which is why your cunt is within my grasp.’’ He tries to touch your cunt, but you have had enough of him. You act on anger and rage.

You strike the prince across his face. It is not very impressive or a strong smack but Aemond might understand his attention is not wanted. 

But one look at the prince and you know that you have only made things worse. Much worse.

He undoes his leather belt, rolling it up casually when you gulp. You watch as he approaches you, belt in hand and ready to use it. You have heard stories. Never read them, as pain terrifies you. 

Aemond chuckles. ‘’O, you will regret that dearly, little pet.’’ He smacks your face down on the table, causing you to cry out. You crawl away over the table, your dress causing trouble, but don't get very far.

He drags you back by your ankle, your legs and finally your hips and forces your dress further off your body, properly stripping you of whatever dignity you had left. You hear him chuckle and that's when you feel immense pain on your lower back, your ass, and upper back respectively. You wail and whine and complain and cry but none of it matters.

The prince uses you as his whipping toy until there is blood on his belt and he is panting.

He rolls you on your back, and spreads your legs. ‘’Watch. Follow the belt.’’ He tells you, his voice a little hoarse. You nod obediently and nearly cry when the belt is placed on your wet sensitive maiden cunt. 

‘’My prince, please no-’’

It is too late when you see his grin grow twice the size and the belt cracks down on your skin, causing pleasure and pain to mix inside of you as you roll your head in your neck and just scream for the gods to hear. 

Aemond hisses slowly before he briefly turns his back to you. You catch your breath before the finger is pushed in your face again.  ‘’Suck, now.’’ He tells you.

This time you open your mouth and take his finger in your own hands, guiding it inside your mouth. Your lips smack when the finger enters and you obediently suck his nails clean for him, removing your own juice and taste of his soft and yet dangerous fingers. 

You have never done anything like this before. But you come to the conclusion you quite like it. It is relaxing. You have a task, a clear task and are kept busy too. You like it because for a moment you forget your troubles and misery.

‘’Such a shame I needed to make you bleed to get you to listen to me. I don't like seeing my pet bleed.....’’ You don't know if that's true. You don't want to know.

You suck a little harder, as he exhales deeply. ‘’You have good soft lips, little Lamb. Your muscles need training, but I see potential. I would not have taken you as my pet if I did not see what a beautiful obedient little pet you can become for me.’’ You feel shivers run down your spine yet ignore it.

‘’Take the finger out if you wish to speak.’’ He challenges you with a grin. You rather not. You have spoken and he punished you. ‘’No? You're such a little craven. You rather suck my finger and remain quiet hm? It's safer for you that way.’’ He grins, moving his finger up and down in your mouth. Your lips suck and smack at his commands and his movements, your eyes never leaving his own.

‘’My dragon, Vhagar, loves maidens.’’ Aemond grins leaning in to sniffle your neck and to smell your fear. That is when you speak up to beg for your life.

‘’Please my prince…’’ Your voice shakes the moment you speak becoming a soft emotional squeak. 

‘’Do you apologise, little lamb?’’ Aemond asks, ignoring your cries and your heartbroken voice.

You nod. ‘’Yes, I am sorry.’’ It takes great effort to lie to him. You are a woman of the truth. You would never lie if it wasn't needed.

He nods approvingly but there is a warning glare in his good eye.

‘’The next time you raise a hand to me, you will lose your hand. Is that understood?’’ You nod again, terrified.

‘’Yes.’’ You know he prefers verbal answers. 

He clicks his tongue. ‘’Your wetness is all over the table, naughty thing. I think you'll actually enjoy me fucking you tonight. You sure seem ready for a good, through, and proper fucking.’’ You are not ready. Not at all. So why does this idea excites you? Perhaps you are just in need for company, more than you thought you were.

And he knows this. Of course he does. ‘’Though, You are of age, unmarried and alone. So that does makes sense, to long a husband, to long feeling bred.'' You have trouble picturing it. You remain silent instead of making a witty reply. To that he laughs. ‘’Yes, I bet my little lamb will scream all sorts of delicious little cries when I make her come all over my cock. You seem like the type that enjoys it rough.’’ You have been with no lover. You know better than he what you like, however. 

There are moments when you are reading and are overcome with desires and needs. You touch yourself to get rid of the feelings. So you know how your own desires work. You know so perfectly. ‘’I-i prefer it gently.’’ You admit, softly.

The prince does not like that answer. ‘’You're a maiden. You don't know what you prefer.’’ He speaks as if you are foolish and chuckles in a condescending manner. You have trouble keeping your face neutral so he won't smack you again.

It leaves your mouth before you can stop the words. ‘’Yes I do. I touch…’’ You stop yourself, as blood raises to your cheeks and you become quiet. 

Aemond grins in approval, liking where this conversation is heading. ‘’Go on. It's rude to not finish your sentence.’’ He says. You would rather be rude than be thought of as an easy harlot.

You refuse to let him have power over you. ‘’I touch myself.’’ You obediently say. Aemond's last remaining eye takes in your naked body, as if picturing where your hands would be when you are doing this to yourself. 

‘’Show me. Show me how you do that.’’ He says, commanding you. as if you are his dog. You obey and look around briefly for spectators or witnesses. Aemond sits down in the chair and plants you on the table, so he can see you properly. 

You sit down and start touching and rubbing your breasts. ‘’You are a slow one, hm?’’ Aemond comments after he has watched you for 2 minutes. It is difficult to raise arousal when he is watching. You are worried you will ruin it.

‘’Your breasts have had enough. I think another part of your body wants pleasure.’’ He means your cunt. You hesitate. ‘’Are you perhaps scared?’’ He grins scoffing and leaves a kiss on your hair. 

‘’No need for that. I'll see it tonight anyway. I already took a peek. You have nothing to be ashamed of.’’ He says. You bring your fingers to your entrance and start touching yourself when the prince watches you. 

‘’Such an eager little thing.’’ Aemond comments as your fingers go a little faster and harder, as you become aroused. He watches with his brow raised. You never were this wet so quickly. ‘’Are you this way for every man that cages you and your family and kills half your town or am I the only one?’’ He wonders, ruining your pleasure with the hard difficult truth.

You try to restart but it is difficult with the thought of your brother now haunting you. His head is literally on the floor behind the table where you are sitting.

‘’So amateurish. Poor girl. I will have you praying for the gods when I fuck you.’’ You know you do it wrong but you don't care. You do it as you like it. 

And finally you give up.

A smack shows what the prince thinks of that. ‘’I didn't tell you to stop, did I?’’ He asks his gaze aimed at the triangle between your legs.

‘’No my prince.’’ You mutter, rubbing the spot on your thigh where he hit you. He grins.

‘’Continue.’’ 

You pick up where you left off and touch yourself again in front of him. ‘’I rather just avoid my officers and officials, drag you off by your hair and tie you to the bed until your belly is swollen with my seed and all you taste is my cum. I want your nails to drag over my back and I want your voice to be hoarse from all the screaming you did.’’ Your fingers go smoother and quicker. ‘’Perhaps I'll buy you a whore. Perhaps I'll make you fuck her when I watch. Or, make her fuck you, that's seems to be the likely scenario.’’ You picture yourself with a beautiful woman laying under her as she takes you roughly with Aemond watching. 

You cry a little louder, your pleasure building rapidly as you fuck your own fingers.

He sees your changing body and knows. ‘’You can stop.’’ He cheerfully says. You are confused and glare, rubbing one final time.

‘’I said: 'stop'.’’ He groans, hitting you as a warning. You whimper, still aroused. ‘’You fucking whore.’’ He adds, grinning wildly. ‘’You disgusting little whore. You have no loyalty at all, hm?’’

You break into tears at his cruel words. You sob helplessly. ‘’I did what you wanted from me.’’

‘’What I want from you is more than your little fingers gently rubbing your cunt. I want to fuck you bloody.’’ He declares, his voice  raspy. ‘’You know what soon will be in your body?’’ You shake your head afraid.

Aemond grabs you from the table, forces you to stand and to meet his front with your behind. You feel it poke you so clearly now. His erected cock, through his pants.  ‘’My cock, as I fucking impale you on it and fuck you senseless.’’ He smacks your ass.

‘’You are too gentle when you touch yourself. You need it firm and clear or your bastard peasant mind will wander off.’’ You understand he must really hate you. And the fact that he wants you? He hates that even more.

a/n thank you for reading!

I shall be back when ...the stars allow it.

And my inspiration.

[pjisskullourful]

I'm so proud of you

🫂⭐

thankyoooou my darling💖

stream of consciousness response cos i have so many feelings& idk if im gonna be able to sleep even though its 1.30am? okcurrrrr

holy fuck. holy fuck. HOLY FUCK!!!

i had some shitty things happen to me pre -pandemic but then being on lockdown i was forced to sit with all of that, accept the label of 'victim'& my mental health got bad. i've always been a homebody& a bit anxious in social situations, but during lockdown i became quite terrified of the outside world. there are occasions when i let my best friend down by pulling out of commitments at the last second cos i never felt good enough, i wanted to hide the fuck away, i felt myself decaying& i thought people would see that& i was SO ashamed& thats when the body dysmorphia got in the drivers seat(the street name of the concert venue was driver, i'll be the driverrrrrr)& it was crippling & took so many things from me

anytime i leave the house is an accomplishment for me now. even if its just to walk down the block to buy a loaf of bread. & going into a situation like a concert, with the overstimulation, the complete lack of control (i am a perfectionist, control freak)(i love structure, i need routines to feel safe & thrive& be happy)- i wasnt sure i could do it. i had a cry last night cos i was feeling so intimidated, i didnt know how to prepare

but i made it out of the house. i dressed myself to the fucking nines with no shame. i took PRIDE in my appearance when usually i just want to be a floating brain so that no one can perceive me in my form. i was serving CUNT, i put my entire pussy into it& i fucking did it

to be in the presence of those four fuckers, im in disbelief. i've been unemployed since a bit before the pandemic, i've had to come to terms with ptsd & the fact that i now have a disability & idk how to just jump into another job. i feel so worthless so often. but here, i dont. i had given up on my dream of making money from my writing. but now i am!(& it started with an ethan commission!!!) & im not worthless& i have accomplishments that i have gained for myself, despite everything else, despite the voice in my head telling me im not good enough, im past my peak, im decaying -- yada yada yada suicidal ideation

a little bit of my dream came true because of those four fuckers. i cried the day honey came out cos i am just so completely grateful for everything being a fan of them has given me

& it started with an ethan commission. & then ethan looked in my eyes& said thank you

i am not worthless, i am not past my peak. i am a motherfucking kool kid

thankyou for every note on every fic(i look at every single notification, they make my heart fucking soar), every kudos, every cent anyone has sent my way. tonight was a celebration of all of that& i could be present& happy& in it. no darkness could touch me, especially not while ethan was looking at me

he is as fucking flawless in person(they all are). i got to stand so close& stare at that fucking body(cos he wonderfully took his shirt off after interval)& i love him& i'll most likely love him forever, thats my baby daddy ❣️ my mum is gonna be so proud. i wish i could wake her up with a phone call. ethan is her fav& i cant wait to tell her i had an interaction with him

i sat in the gutter& went from loudly laughing(ala gaga in aura) to sobbing loudly. my world has been rocked

for some people a concert is just a concert but this is a GIGANTIC deal for me. middle finger to my anxiety. middle finger to my body dysmorphia. this is such an accomplishment. i am grateful for every fucking second, grateful to myself cos i fucking DID IT!

& this is the second time this year that i've seen a eurovision winner perform their winning song(cos my girl conchita back at the start of the year). & that is dopee as fuck!!!

my therapist is gonna be so proud 🥲

can i get a HELL YEAH for vallium? ily forever bby

tldr-- im proud of me too babyyyyyy

[television-pil0t]

I don’t wanna be touched I wanna be loved. I wanna feel loved. I wanna stop crying. I don’t wanna be needy I wanna be needed. I don’t wanna hurt this much but I don’t wanna die. I wanna handle it myself but I’m at my breaking point. LMAO IVE BEEN HERE FOR A DAMN WHILE! SINCE JULY APPARENTLY! I wear the same clothes to school everyday. I don’t wanna try. My head hurts and it’s spinning. I’m tired of bleeding. I’m tired of punching and burning myself. I’m tired of finding every way out of this. I hate being worried he’s cheating on me. I hate how nonchalant he can be. I hate that i have any problem with him whatsoever GOD IM SUCH A ASSHOLE! WHY AM I LIKE THAT! WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANT FROM HIM! IM THE ONE THAT LET HIM BACK IN MY LIFE AND NOW IM COMPLAINING IT BITCH ITS YOUR FAULT ITS ALL YORU FAULT! Why do I complain so much. Am I asking to much to be loved a little bit more? Yes. Because he’s giving me all he can. We talked about it before. God he’s fucking trying. I’m gonna throw up I hate myself. I’m never gonna be good at art. Programming is a joke. I’m shit at technology. MF probably dosnt EVEN really want me around anymore. He used to talk about how much he wanted me. He said he needed me once. My dad used to hug me. I used to have worth. I used to be worth something. Why did this happen. I used to have so much to me. I used to be so nice. Why did he touch me. WHY DID HE TOUCH ME! WHY DID MIDDLE SCHOOL HAPPEN! GOD I WISH I WAS JUST MOLESTED ON THE INTERNET WHY DID IT HAPPEN IN REAL LIKE! WHY DID HE RUIN MY LIFE! I used to be so fucking nice! I used never be obsessed with someone! I was fucking normal! Why did he have to hit me. Over and over and over! I used to be so fucking nice I CANT GET OVER THAT I USED TO BE NICE! Now I’m such a asshole! Manipulative ass FUCKING BITCH! Using there mental illness as a landing pad when I do something wrong and have the gall to act like I’m better than everyone. MF you wanna go protest. Protest against yourself you fuck up. All this because a guy in 8th grade? All this because some guy when you were 5? Get the fuck over it! SHIT AS IF I CAN BLAME THEM! I’m just a fucking asshole! My bf probably still sends nudes to the gc. He still probably talks shit. He probably likes his friends. LMAO HE PROBABLY FUCKING FLIRTYS WITH THEM ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND I JUST DONT FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE “you get jealous so easily” MF I JUST WANNA DIE GOD DAMN IT IM CRYING AGAIN! I JUST WANNA FEEL SAFE! I WANT SECURITY! I WANT A FUCKING APOLOGY! I WANNA BE TREATED BETTER! EVEN MY PARENTS FUCKING HATE ME! HIS PARENTS WILL TO WHY WOULD I EVEN GO OVER THERE IM A AWFUL FUCKING PERSON WHY AM I ALIVE I SHOULDVE DIED YEARS AGO! I’m a fucking pussy that’s why. I just wanna be ok so fucking back. God it hurts. I cant keep going but I refuse to stop. I don’t wanna die. I just want better. I need better. I can’t be surrounded by fucking hell and be expecting to thrive in it! I’m the the rose in concrete god damn it! I was just a kid. FUCK I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THAT! AND THE WORST PART LMAOOO HE DOSNT EVEN TELL ME WHEN I SAW SOMETHING WRONG! HE JUST TALKS SHIT ABOUT ME LMAOO!! “Lol you never learn” YEAH I FUCKING CANT! CALL ME OUT PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME! I can’t talk to my own bf about my issues not only has he given up by I just feel like he would say “damn boi it’s not that serious” I scream! Maybe if I scream until I bleed I’ll finally be heard. By everyone. I’m tired of this. I’m not ready to be a adult. I’m not ready for any of this shit. God my heart hurts so bad. I feel like I’m just in year one. So much anxiety. Nothing to ease the pain and who’s fault is that. Mine. As always. Who am I crying to? Who am I asking for help? Nobody. Because it never goes well. I just wanna be told I’m loved. Im needed. Tell me it’s gonna be fucking alright because this world sucks. Im not gonna be able to leave out of my apartment until 26 at this rate because of government and inflation and my bf is just saying “save money” UGH LOOK AROUND!! WERE ALL TRYING! It’s so hard to make ends meet! It’s so hard!!

[emeraldbabygirl]

Today I learned that J.Heart from N.Sonic married a fan, there’s a whole video of it on YouTube please I’m so drained I’m dropping green slime like the gremlin I am. I know so many older ex idols of kpop groups where and how is this happening ugh what in the y/n wattpad having ass I beg and beg and I get nothing. Where is my hot husband? I don’t think I’m being selfish I think I deserve some eye candy in my life I think I’ve been through enough. GD hello I’m single and I’m free just let me know and I’ll give you my address please. Takuya pay for my plane ticket and I go to Japan for you or wherever your sexy ass is juseyo please? 🥺 and it’s always the ex idols or older idols like I get it, relationships and communication and commitment and language barriers and sexy people and I’m LITERALLY THE LIL GREMLIN UNDER LEE JUNGSHINS BED EATING HIS TOENAILS I AM STARVING PLEASE and it’s the older male idols and the older female idols I bawled my entire pussy out when I found out Miss Ma’am Moon Hyuna from 9Muses was not only married but had a child ugh. ALL MY 9MUSES WIFES ARE MARRIED TO PEOPLE THAT ARE LESS PRETTY THAN THEM BUT MORE PRETTY THAN ME WHERE IS

IM PERFECTLY AVERAGE AMD SLIGHLTY MENTALLY UNSTABLE AND HATE LITERALLY EVERYONE AND HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS IN GENERAL BUT KAIN MY LOVE LEE SANG THE LOVE OF MY LIFE FOR ONE MAN I CAN MANAGE.

IF I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR JAY OR NIKI FROM EPIPEN OR..KEEHOS GEN Z ASS I FUCKING WILL I WILL TAKE THEM AND RUN CAUSE I HAVE NO MORE HOPE FOR ME. Call me a dramatic lil bitch but I’m so jealous and I blame my father for my intoxicatingly tragic fear of men ??? but wanting a relationship listen I know it doesn’t make sense trust me I am a walking ball of “brain isn’t braining” as the kids say these days. Either some entity or god or fate or whatever you want to call it has something beyond my wildest dreams in store for me later or I just have bad luck and all said spiritual entities really hate me that much. I know I’m being dramatic but the greesy lil gaslighting mouthwashphobic gremlin jumped out and I can no longer hold her back. I am as unhinged as my twitter and that’s just the way I am. I just get jealous of people in relationships because I tell myself I’m not interested and then I want one and then I don’t and then I say I’m a walking self defense mechanism and then I cry that I’m single and ugly but I don’t do anything to care about being pretty or taking care of myself like I swear my 3 braincells and the 5% of my good personality are a catch. My sweet Erwin Pattrick Pennors please 💍 man jealously is one hell of a drug “frfr” as the kids say these days. I just want to be happy but I feel like if I don’t get in a relationship or if I don’t do this or this I won’t be happy or if this does happen, what if the wattpad y/n gods actually bless my shitty life and I don’t like it and I’m not happy then what? Is it the disappointment of the future fueling my rage or is it the unknown. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE JESUS MAKE IT MAKE SENSE PLEASE IM SO TIRED OF EXISTING FOR THE SAME ROUTINE EVERYDAY YET IM TOO TERRIFIED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE IM LITERALLY PERFECT FOR SOMEONE WHO IS MENTALLY UNWELL LIKE ME 😭😭😭😭😭

ALSO YES I AM JEALOUS OF PLEASE THAT GET TO GO TO CONCERTS AND FANMEETS AND HAVE FANCALLS AND GET NOTICED BY THEIR FAVS ON THE INTERNET AND GET TO RANDOMLY MEET IDOLS OUT OF NOWHERE OKAY ITS TAKEN FOREVER FOR ME TO ADMIT CAUSE I STUFFED IT DOWN MY THROAT AS MY ANXIETY COULD NEVER I AM AFRAID OF MEN I HATE LARGE CROWDS I CANT DO IRL WITH REAL PEOPLE AND MAYBE SOME OF THAT IS TRUE OKAY I do get nervous around humans of the male species that are strangers and idols are no different but everyone gets nervous when they meet an idol right? Not just my ass thinking “I’m quirky” for whatever bs situation I made up in my head I get it I do but jeez I have to be so damn loud about it and literally no one fucking cares they don’t. Kain and Lee Sang and Daeil and Rolling Quartz and Grace and other idols don’t care about what I say they just appreciate the kind words like anyone does. I have been trying to get Kain to look at my insta for like 2 months and no it’s so dumb and not worth it like I just am not the main character and never will be I’m too mentally off and ugly and dramatic and just the vibes are like static and a sharp object to a balloon. Some things just don’t and won’t work out no matter how much you want it too. If it takes an another famously “delulu” rant on all my social media’s to discover this than so be it.

Maybe in 2023 I should stick to working on my own problems and my mental health and focus on driving and learning how to adult instead of wanting a hot husband and all these toxic scenarios I come up with in my head. I get jealous of people on social media who get famous and are followed or known by idols ya’know I think sometimes everyone does but some people just do things in a way that the pieces just fall together and that’s just it.

Good lord I think I’m done now I’m still jealous and sometimes I get sad about it and I might later cause ya’know

✨ moon tingz ✨

I’m fine fine ya’know. I just crave attention and want people to call me pretty and foam at the mouth and ya’know fun celeb stuff. I know I have friends that love me and give me compliments and I will forever be grateful for that no matter how long they are my friends but sometimes I just want one specific thing from one specific person even if it’s “delulu.” Anywee have this picture of something

[bakatenshii]

Blahkugo is a pretty sexy rec although she ironically does not write for bakugou

you are so right nonnie, @blahkugo doesn’t write bakugou (minus like 2 drabbles) because she has performance anxiety which is ridicULOUS bcos she’s so unbelievably talented and sexy and I think she’d write him so well. we r all waiting for the day u write mister bakugou @ sunnt

HERE ARE MY FAVS FROM MISS BLAHKUGO:

charity / sludge (Shigaraki)

7th Commandment (Ushijima Wakatoshi)

Underground!AU 1k event (Hawks)

Rouge (Tendou Satori)

&& all of her Hand HCs (all of Hq!!)

[mickayzie]

i still have no idea what im allowed to reclaim because i dont know what my gender or sexuality identity is anymore, and whether or not that means i can reclaim nothing, but it really doesnt matter to me because i dont actually care. aint the hill im gonna die on, ya know?

[bloody-vino]

Reiner x Fem!reader NSFW

Reiner and you have been dating for over a year now, and your 18th birthday is coming up. He's always wanted to make this one special and decided maybe getting intimate with each other might be the best idea. He goes around asking for tips from Bertholdt, Porco and even Zeke as they are more experienced. Losing virginities was never a joke for this man, he knows its a big occasion. Reiner even awkwardly approached Annie and Pieck about this topic to understand more about female pleasure. After collecting all the information he feels somewhat confident in how and what to do and gets down to preparations.

Your 18th birthday party is held in a small booked Air bnb with a huge cake and balloons everywhere. All your friends attended, his too, everyone was chatting around except Reiner. He stands alone, close to you and mildly sweating from the anxiety of knowing he needs to have sex later. Once the party is over at about 10pm everyone begins to leave and Reiner personally bids everyone a goodbye trying his best to hide the nerves. You are completely unaware of this plan of his and begin packing up as well, after all you had a curfew and your parents were extremely strict. Reiner sees you leaving and hurriedly blocks the entrance with his body. You are surprised by this action, you look into his eyes and take a step back not understanding the situation. Reiner takes a step towards you and asks you to stay back for just 2 hours more. You dont see at a problem after all you are 18 and allowed to take atleast some liberties. You give in to him entirely and wait for instructions still not entirely sure about what is about to happen. Reiner holds your hand and slowly brings you to the master bedroom of the apartment, which he had taken the pains to properly clean, arranged a towel, he even made the bed properly and got an extra pair of clothes. Finally you got a grasp of the upcoming events and your heart suddenly starts beating fast.

Standing at the foot of the bed facing each other, Reiner takes his hands and places them on your shoulders. Slowly sliding them to your back and pulling the zipper of your dress down, he then pulls it off as it drops to your ankles. You are now exposed to him only in your bra and panties. Reiner takes a step back to take in the view, his erection clearly visible through his pants. He instantly realises this action may make you feel extremely vulnerable so he quickly looks into your eyes and no where else. He unbuttons his own shirt and takes it off, he's still unsure about your reaction so he pauses before taking off his pants. He uses his hands to carress your curves and then firmly placing his hands on your ass pulling you closer to his bare chest. He feels your stomach and cleavage push against him. He asks you "Are you okay with this?", youre already in ecstasy you manage to moan out a very very soft "yes". He asks you to lay down on the bed, but before you do, you take off your undergarments stripping down to nothing. You lay on your back and he can see every inch of you. He cant take his eyes off your beautiful vagina, its all so new to him. The wind is blowing through the open windows and you have the view of the whole city from the 50th floor apartment. He unbuttons his black pants and takes them off along with his briefs, keeping them on the side. You are looking at his penis while laying down, you feel so wet. Being inexperienced in sex you are not sure how its going to happen or what that tingly sensation in your clit is. Reiner gets on the bed and is now above you and between your legs. More than his dick your are marvelling his huge stature, his muscles are so strong and his chest so sculpted against your body. He has blonde hair leading from his belly button down to his blonde pubes, which are glowing golden from the city lights reflecting onto your bodies. This man is so handsome and hes so close to you.

Reiner holds his pink tip against your entrance and whispers in your ear "I am going to enter tell me if you feel uncomfortable, i promise i'll instantly stop". You look at him and nod a yes with a furrow on your brows out of fear. He begins kissing you and pushing his dick slowly inside you, your vagina clenches out of fear. It begins to hurt a bit as if a knife is jabbing through your hole. You let out a painful wail and Reiner freezes in position. He looks down at you worriedly, "Is everything okay? what happened? im so sorry." You have tears in your eyes and seem very unsure. He realises you need preparation something he had read about earlier. Reiner uses one finger and slowly massages your clit, making you feel very heated, you vagina starts feeling more relaxed, as he continues rubbing and your walls are aching for something to be inserted. After a few moments you feel like a huge build up but Reiner doesnt let you orgasm, instead he slowly slides his thick hard cock through your now swollen pussy lips. You hold the back of his shoulders and gently push your hips inwards towards his, trying to take his size. He takes it as reafirmation to continue, he adjusts his pace and slows down for you to take charge. You never did this before so your vaginal walls were mildly hurting during sex. Once Reiner was inside you all the way to his base, you could feel his balls against you, he instantly feels a jolt of pleasure in his chest. He slides his hand to your lower back between you and the bed. Using his hand to adjust your hips at the perfect angle for him to thrust in and out. He finally starts moving his hips very slowly, causing him to grunt loudly. For some reason hearing him like this caused you to feel warm butterflies rise up in your chest. You slid down your hands from his shoulders to his hips, giving a slight shy nudge indicating him consent to go faster. Reiner instantly started thrusting faster and the pounding sound echoed through the apartment. You both were already breathing heavy but as he caught speed you let out loud moans. Your breasts bounce up and down as Reiner thrusts, he cant take his eyes off them, he leans in to lick your nipples and suck on them while he repeatedly fucks you.

As a few minutes passed Reiner had his eyes closed while pounding focusing all his energy on not orgasming because of your tight wetness. Between thrusts and moans you noticed this and cupped his face, he opened his eyes and caught yours. His speed decreasing and now with soft movements of his cock going in and out, he leans in to kiss your lips, making out while slowly taking you to the brink. After a bit when he felt the muscles in his thighs tighten and the sensitivity of the tip of his cock increased he pulled his lips away and held your legs up to his shoulders in missionary postition. He thrusted hard and fast, pulling out his whole 8 inches dick and thrusting it back in all the way to the base. His balls heavily clapping against you. As his feeling got more intense he was on top of you with your legs on his shoulders, you were folded beneath him, his face again close to you. He was sweating and his blonde hair now long and messy over his forehead. His grip so tight on your thighs that now it was turning red, you were also reaching your peak "Reiner ahh, p-please, just like that". A few more sloppy fast thrusts and Reiner pushed himself inside you as much as he could, to release his hot semen. You let out a huge gasp and the intense contraction in your thighs and lower abdomen moved to your vaginal walls and suddenly your body aching to burst, you orgasmed.

Reiner finally let go of your thighs and collapsed on top of you. You could feel the entirety of his sweaty body against yours. Your breasts pressing against him again, you could feel his now semi hard cock against the inside of your thigh as it spilt out of your hole. You used your hand to carress his hair back from his forehead, they were slicked back with sweat now. He managed to muster the strength to sit up and give you kisses on your cheeks and lips "Thank you, thank you so much for letting me close to you and your beautiful body. I love you" You kissed him back on his lips and the tip of his nose "Reiner that was amazing, you were the best present i could have recieved on my birthday". With this Reiner got up and scooped you over his shoulder and into the bathroom to wash up.

This man was prepared. The bathroom was decorated with candles, rose petals and lavender incense. He switched on the hot water and you both stood under the running water naked. Your hands against his chest and his on your waist. The water ran down cooling you both down from the heated sex, he slowly kissed your forehead and took some body wash and massaged your body, as if to relieve the tension and ache from having sex for the first time. You reached out for the body wash and massaged his back and hard chest too, you just wanted to feel him once again, you craved touching his body again and again. He held you close and both of you acheing to make out and fuck in the shower again, but time was limiting and your vagina still sore from accomodating his length. Once the water washed the soap away you both dried up with a towel, but before you wore your clothes Reiner whipped out a tube and asked you to lay down with legs spread. You trusted Reiner with your life so without questioning you followed. He took some cream onto his finger and slowly applied towards the outside of your entrance, and then used his finger to apply deep within you as well, swirling his finger inside you making sure to coat every inch of your hole, "This ointment, i got it from the doctor beforehand, it helps ease the pain and soreness post sex, i know youre hurting there". You sat up with slight tears in your eyes, shocked by the amount of care and love this man had for you "Reiner thank you for loving me like this", wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him for a hug, you both fell on the bed without clothes just embracing each other and cuddling while looking a the city lights together.

Reiner had his eyes closed and was softly breathing drifting off to sleep, his hair slightly wet from the shower still slicked back, and his alabaster skin reflecting soft light coming from the window. His dick was visible resting against him, his abs moving up and down as he was breathing. He was yours, a sight to behold. You slowly shook him awake and he used his sculpted arms to sit up. He knew it was time for you to go home. Both of you wore clothes and cleaned up the mess. Finally at the gate you looked back at the Air bnb, you didnt know why but you felt a very slight sorrow about leaving the place where Reiner and you became one for the very first time. Reiner put his hand on your cheek and pulled your face to face him. "Ill see you this weekend over at my place?" You gave him a big innocent smile while nodding your head. With that he locked the door and dropped you back at your house.

[hanji-is-life]

Best friend bakugou that asks you to tutor him, both of y’all fully aware he doesn’t need help. But you cant really say no to him can you? Well, you should’ve.

It starts of fine, he’s paying attention, your explaining the concepts to him, suddenly he flicks your nipple “wrong”. And you’re kinda bamboozled for a sec like... how do you know its wrong!? So he just shrugs and tells you to explain it again, and you hesitantly do.

One sec you’re solving the question, the next his hand is in your pants, knuckle deep in your pussy, growling at how stupid you are for getting things wrong. makes you keep going with him curling his fingers in you and daring you to stutter through your question.

You end up not studying, you actually end up bouncing on his dick with him laughing at the faces you make while hes making you lose yourself on his cock

You know whats worse? He gets better grades than you. Guess you’re the one needing tutoring, slut🧍🏻‍♀️

(No my exams are not coming up, and no im not imagining how my studying sessions should go👉🏻😔👈🏻)

NAMI PLEASE??????

and when this mf comes to you for tutoring, you’re like???? breast friend???? breastie???? you’re literally doing better in your classes than me???

but he just insists cause he does admittedly need you to explain a few more things to him. things that he’s already mastered, and knows you haven’t fully grasped yet—

he’s just so mean tho :(( keeps pinching your nips and clit whenever you explain something wrong :(( or when you stutter over your words :(( or whenever your eyes cross and you drool all over yourself when he’s making you bounce on his cock :((

your mind nami. lemme eat it. now 🔪.

I don’t understand how you can have horny thots about tutoring 🧍🏽‍♀️my anxiety ridden ass gets too stressed to even think about his dick

[carternate]

i really dont understand my own feelings

and im fucking terrified of myself.

i refuse to say im okay anymore. my head isnt okay

what im feeling isnt fucking normal

and i take it out on my girlfriend but in the same respect im terrified of telling her shit because i will be exposed. i trust her i want her and i love her more than anything. but i dont know how to explain my emotions anymore. i never did actually. im a fucking mess in general. i hate that i feel stuck in a prison of my own body. its not the dumb ass transgender feeling

its a literal feeling of a cage.

i hate the people in my past. i hate that they still have an impact

i hate that i cant control myself like i used to be able to and that i cant even take my medication because i tell myself im too tough for it lmao. i literally was so close to ending my life, but in an instant this time. not some pussy shit where i begged for help and then it was possible for someone to save me

i almost really just ended it. ended it because i didnt find value in it.

i dont feel good enough and everything seems wrong

but i want to be okay and be good and make it to heaven. i used to have a passion

i used to love god with all my heart but i cant even understand it anymore

its noones fault but my own

and that hurts even more

i cant even try to blame it on another its on me this time

ive lost control

i cant even think long enough to listen in my hour long class.

i thought i was broken before because of a family that degraded me

but whatever the fuck i feel now feels eighty times worse

but i keep it internal and i cant keep it in anymore

im going to fucking explode

im falling apart completely

and im going insane

and i dont feel that i belong here

i literally will sit in my car and think of scenarios

but when i actually start to FEEL its absolutely ridiculous and insane

and SO much.

i try to bring positivity and help anna

and i try to be sure that sentences like this dont happen

but flashbacks hit me hard

the hospital, that week. that first week was insane.

its fucked to say

but i felt like i belonged there. i felt like that could be my home. from the daily vitals,to the little kid that cried in the cornwr, to the creepy ass schizophrenic girl that was my roommate, to jenna, to my freak outs.

i was crazy. but i got to take it out and do it and have people who understood it and tried to help.

geneva ohio. is not a place where i can be okay and myself authentically

i cant even be myself at my fucking work place.

nobody understands shit other than the kids that were there

during our group sessions and even during school i felt like it was okay.

there is just a hole in my head that i can not find anything to fill

im curious about everything and i hve no idea what about

i have questions

so fucking many

and noone wants to hear them

i hate that i cant concentrate

i hate that when i tell my dad im not okay i cant even look him in the eye because all i can picture is coming out of the ambulance and seeing my mom and dad looking at me screaming what hppened

and i have never felt like that in my life.

i cant let go of that. i cant let go of the visual of mallory laying at the edge of my bed before i got sent away to laurelwood looking at me like “fuck dude. you really tried.” she looked sorry for me, but not the kind that people like want. not the kind of compassion

but the scared kind. she looked scared of me. nothing has been the same aince.i want to drown iut my thoughts

and my stupid fucking stutter

and i want to lay in annas arms and cry everything out

but i also want to fucking beat the shit out of someone

and thats not me. im not violent. but i want to like bEAT THE SHIT out of someone. anyone at this point. but whatever

i dont understand how things that are so fucking simple to other people are like fucking complete brain aches for me.

i cant go anywhere alone because i am scared of being physically alone but mentally ive never been more lonely and that scares me.

the story never ends i guess.

i hate how my mind can be spinning in circles and people that say they are there can be right next to me complaining and have no idea i want to jab a knife into my body lol

but then all i would be is a coward if i just ended it all. it would technically be the easy way out and i dont want to be that person. thinking about death doesnt really even scare me anymore, and that thought scares me more than death itself.

in a perfect world i guess everything would be fine

and i would be happy

and never necessarily need to think about things that hurt me or have those little bullets shot at my head with every turn i take.

but thats not reality, and realizing that alone needs

to be a priority that i take.

i probably wont ever live a life without triggers, depression, or anxiety.

and that fucking sucks.

especially because i know that people fake their mental illness just for the attention and they dont have to live with something that prevents them from doing everyday activities or being terrified of little shit

but in my opinion that attention people seek from illness or anything in general is the worst part about it. i hate when people find out about the hospital.

i get embarrassed regardless of how many times people will tell me its okay

like sure its okay. but its not normal. going to a mental institution shouldnt be something everyone does

or everyone knows someone who went. thats just fucked. and i hate that im someone that people will be like “oh emily went to one” or the questions i will get from people are absolutely morbid and NOT their business but i feel obligated to talk about it when people ask. its a fucked up world dude. and sometimes im really fucking sick of living in it.

i just want to be okay again, even if its for a second. just a second of peace and a second of understanding. a fucking break would be nice?

a vacation away with anna and my kitty? if i could get that right now my entire heart would be full. i need two weeks to mentally get myself okay again. but lucky for me that’s not possible, and some may say “welcome to the adult world” and that is such a fucking understatement.

this is never going to be over

and im always going to not be afraid of death and im always going to not know shit about myself and im always not going to treat anyone right and i cant fucking even breathe when im walking yet i still have to work daily. and im so sick of it from beginning to end. and i want my story to fucking end already.

God if you can see this by some small celestial chance you actually give a shit about Earth and its inhabitants fucking help me.

[dazed--xx]

I Trust You

REQUEST: Hey! Just saw you wanted requests so here it is So, you're making out with Yoongi and things get hot but you're kind inexperienced and had a bad first time, but you didn't tell him... he notices that you're nervous and stops to check on you, so you tell him and start detaching yourself from him cuz you're embarrassed, but he stops you and show it to you how you should be treated I'm sorry, this was kind specific, feel free to do it you want >< ❤

GENRE: SMUT, ANGST, if you squint fluff

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT 

MEMBER: YOONGI x Idol!reader

WORD COUNT: 1,539

A/N: so this one is kinda a hard one to write i was a victim of sexual assault and it was kinda like this but way more graphic. but i hope you guys enjoy im sorry to the person who requested this because i forgot your tumblr name but i hope it reaches you if it does comment please.

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“Yoongi-ah” I moan as his lips slowly suck on the bend of my neck. “Hmm?” He whispers, His lips attacking mine. My hands buried in his soft midnight hair, his wandering to my ass. Yoongi’s member pressing against my stomach, hard. His hands reach for my breast, as my tongue wanders his mouth. “Baby-” Yoongi bites my lip interuppting my protests. I let out a small moan “Hmm I love hearing you moan for me baby” His hand sliding down lifting my shirt slightly. My hand grasps his wrists, my breathe gets stuck in my throat. Water is building around my lungs and im gasping for air. The dark feeling rises and the memory begins to replay over in my head once again.  

*TWO YEARS AGO*

Min, my back is on the ground. Min-Jun's hands wandering all over my torso, across my chest. No, Don’t, Stop please. His hands trail down my body and lifts the blue shirt I had been wearing and a cool breeze sends shivers through my body. He stops at the button for my jeans, and I close my eyes as he removes them. I don’t like this Say something idiot, he'll stop right?  

His lips travel from my lips to my collarbone. His sloppy, wet kisses that are etched into my skin. "Min-Jun, I don’t want to. I'm not ready." I say. He lifts his head, rolls his eyes, and continues kissing me. I jerk my head to the side "Min-Jun, please stop."

He throws his head back in frustration. "Excuse me?" He looks at me in disgust "Of course you don’t like it, if you relax you'll enjoy it, I promise." I shake my head, and Min-Jun clenches his jaw.  

"Min-Jun, I don’t like this can you please stop? I don’t want to do this, not here and not now" I said. He shushed me, caressing my face " I promise I'll take care of you during this whole thing okay? Just calm down you'll be okay," He said, "If you keep fighting me it's going to hurt." He lines himself up with me, I close my eyes.  

The group is more than a mile down the street and really loud music playing, they cannot hear me if I scream. Min-Jun slammed himself in and out of me harshly, pushing my hip into the bed below me. Please God stop him, send someone looking for us so this can stop please god just stop this. An unfamiliar noise escapes my lips, did....did I just moan? Do I like this? and he moaned "Do that again, I like it say my name baby girl" My mouth stays shut. A harsh stinging spreads across my cheek, “what did I just say?” This isnt my Min-Jun, my Min-Jun has never acted like this before. His thrusts get harsher at my silence. Maybe if I just do as he says this will stop, “Min-Jun” I say weakly as his member attacks my core. “Hmm good girl” His lips fall onto mine as his pace slows and the familiarity of his old self returns.  

The kiss feels loving, as my hatred grows. His head falls to my neck “fuck- youre so tight baby girl” his hand caresses my face softly his thrusts getting sloppy. “Call me daddy” DADDY?! He wants to own me and for me to accept that ownership....fuck no.... I wont.... I don’t care.... I wont call HIM daddy. He looks at me angry, his hand wrapping around my throat “Come on baby girl, what you feeling shy?” I cover my face and nod quickly terrified. He smiles “youre so cute baby. Its okay you don’t have to this time next time okay?” NEXT TIME?!?!?! YOU REALLY THINK YOURE GOING TO SEE ME AFTER THIS!!!!! Im screaming on the inside but my weak and terrified state just nods.

He begins groaning and his hips stutter freezing “Fuck! I just came so hard baby girl” He lifts himself off of me and holds me "Relax, you fought a lot, next time please don’t do that.  I don’t like hurting you, baby girl."  

A large smile formed on his face, he is satisfied and I am silent.

*PRESENT*

“Yoongi, please...stop” I whisper as tears begin to stream down my face. Yoongi freezes panic evident on his face his hands caress my face. “Are you okay?” I nod. His face falls “baby youre crying”. I smile and wipe my face and move past him sitting in the studio chair messing with his piano. “We should finish this track oppa” I smile at him. He nods, distain on his face. After about 10 silent minutes, yoongi speaks up “Listen, im not sure why you started crying, but just know you can tell me anything and I will never judge you. Okay? I know you went through a lot before you met me and I wont push but just know I will always be here for you” the wall of silence I built after all of this time, finally comes crumbling down. The words come out like word vomit, Yoongi listens growing angry as the words come out of my mouth.  

“IM.GOING.TO.FUCKING.KILL.HIM” Yoongi says angrily. “Look baby you tell me stop and we stop okay. Id never pressure you into anything especially something as serious as sex, but I do have to ask.... have you been with anyone since? Like have you ever been able to enjoy it?” I shake my head. He runs his hand through his hair. “Dont worry baby ill wait for you forever if I have to. I want you to trust me enough to want to give yourself to me. I love you and I wont hurt you like that or in any way, id never do anything to lose you. Id be lost. I cant help but be happy you fell into our practice room that day” I smile and move from my chair to yoongis lap pressing my lips against his. His hand caresses my face as his tongue explores my mouth. I stand up and grab his hand leading him to the couch. Seductively I push him back onto it and straddle his lap. I kiss down his neck, a moan escapes his lips. My core grows wet as his member hardens against it.  

I suck on his his neck and he bucks his hips up into me. “Hmmm Babygirl don’t do that....” yoongi whines. Grinding into his lap, I nibble on his earlobe lifting his shirt. “You don’t have to do that” yoongi states grabbing ahold of my wrists. “I want to” I smile soon our clothes are tossed all over yoongis studio and were both in our underwear. “Fine but if were gonna do this babygirl were gonna do this right” He states taking ahold of my waist and pressing me into the couch. His lips are on mine fast need evident in yoongis pace. His member grinding into my core as yoongi attacks my neck. “Hmmm this is gonna be all about you baby girl okay? Im gonna make you feel so fucking good” His words make the blush creep up on my face. “youre so fucking cute and innocent...and your going to be so naughty for me..hmm im gonna ruin you baby” His hand slides into my panties. “Fuck youre so wet already baby girl. Can I taste you?” He asks softly. I nod “No baby use your words I want you to tell me if its okay this is all about you” He kisses my core over my panties. “Yes oppa I want you to eat my pussy please” he pulls my panties down and attacks my core. The feeling overwhelmingly wonderful “FUCK! OPPA!” My hand buries in his hair as he sucks softly on my clit. “You taste so much fucking better than ive imagined baby girl.” The need for yoongi grows “Oppa...?” I ask softly, Yoongi lifts his head worried coming back up to my face. “Yes ? Are you okay?” Panic in his voice, I smile “Im fine I just want you to be inside of me... not that im not enjoying this but I only want to cum on your cock”  

Nodding yoongi sits up and begins looking through his clothes. “what are you doing?” I ask confused “Looking for my wallet I have a condom in there” “you don’t need one” Yoongi freezes and turns around “are you sure?” I nod. He drops his underwear and his member flys up and hits his stomach. A nervous look flashes across my face as yoongi lays positions himself in between my legs “ill go slow okay” his words easing my anxiety.  

“its okay baby I trust you”

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Hey 😔😔 its been a rough week. I'm planning on dropping out.. i just cant work work with all the anxiety and these past few days your blog is the reason i smiled again i just wanted you to know. Now help a girl out because lately im imagining namjoon gripping my thighs and i need something for this thirst 👀👀 + i feel like he is the type whos into overstimulation 😭 -👻

Hey 🥺, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time 🥺. I’m glad you can come here to cheer up a little 💜.

His grip would be so strong you’d have marks on your thighs the next morning from it.

Imagine him pounding you so hard that you’re screaming. You cum loudly and quickly, your dripping pussy just making it easier for him to continue his railing as he relentlessly drills into you, his hands tight around your thighs, his eyes watching the way his hard cock is sliding into you. You cum a second time, he bites his bottom lip and looks into your eyes, which are now watering from the overstimulation, you can’t tell if you’re feeling pain or pleasure or a twisted mixture of both.

“That’s it babygirl, you can do it, just cum one more time for me” he pants, breath heavy and sweat glistening on his chest. As your orgasm rips through you as he smirks, stilling himself while cumming inside you with a squeeze to your thighs and a grunt of satisfaction. He leans down - resting on his elbows to avoid crushing you- and wipes your tears, peppering you with kisses all over your face lovingly 🥰

[meet-the-mini-merc]

Me and my friends tf2 oc’s as stuff we’ve said in our discord server

But first! Credits!! 

Ava, Jenny and Pitman belong to me! Chemist and Aofie belong to @tea0-0stache​!!

Castor belongs to J (they don’t have a tumblr... i think)

Pilot and Blacksmith belong to @sockheadstudios

All other characters belong to valve!!

this IS a post inspired by a tf2 post i saw once but i lost it in a sea of likes, i’d be grateful if someone gave me the name of the person who posted it so i could give them credit!!

=============================== Chemist : “You all are dough that i will simply bake in my godly oven so that when your time has passed, i will devour the bread that is your body”

Pitman : *rises from depths of hell* “Yo.” Chemist : “I can’t believe i looked up pussy in French to insult a Polish dude”  Chemist : “That’s a lie yes i can”

Ava : “Do you even eat?” Chemist : “No clue. Hand me the biscuits” Pitman : “Don’t tell me you’re gonna stab me again” Jenny : “Not in here, It will ruin the carpet” Pilot : “wh-” Pilot : “why do you have that image?” Chemist : “Don’t ask questions” Pilot : “b-but-?” Pilot : “how?” Chemist : “ 🔫 what i just fuckin’ say? ” Castor : “ I am going off on a departure to the land of non existing magic and creatures. I shall return in one moon cycle on a horse made of gay and joy, please wish me luck as this could be a tough journey. Many unknown monster lie within the land and they wish to cause chaos brought up upon memories. And let us all hope that the army of thy animals shall protect me from unwanted threat.” Castor : “Goodbye my dear friends, I shall see you all soon.” Pitman : “Oh you mean sleep?” Jenny : “Hon” Ava : “What” Jenny : “Yes” Ava : “W-What?” Pitman : “Did you just fuckin’ lick me?” Chemist : “Yes.” Pitman : “grO- WHY IS YOUR TOUNGUE VIBRATING- DON’T LICK ME AGAIN-!” Jenny : “I have no idea what i did” Castor : “Sold yr soul” Jenny : “Never had a soul to sell” Castor : “Sold yr sanity” Jenny : “Bold of you to assume i had any sanity to begin with” Medic: “Cant believe i turn into a sadist during a fight” Medic: “Thats a lie yes i can“ Scout: “My brain do a hurty” Spy: “Jeremy this will be my legacy” Scout: “I am so disappointed in you“

Chemist : “What starts with V and feels really good?” Chemist : “v i o l e n c e”

Blacksmith : “ oh no! does that mean you melt in the summertime?“ Jenny : “ it means i am inside you already as the water you consume“ Blacksmith : “I-” Blacksmith : “ yaaaaaaay?????????? “

Aofie : “Pit! Can we commit hate crimes on you?” Pit : “What?” BLU Spy head : “Hate crimes.” Pit : “uhhh... sure?” BLU Spy head : “Wonderful. Child, put a kitchen knife in my mouth”

Jenny, at Medic : “If you’re taking a ‘Top or Bottom’ quiz im divorcing you”

Pitman : “And you decided to fuck him?” Chemist : “Wrong: he decided to fuck me“

Pilot : “How’s your day so far?” Blacksmith : “Pancake” Pilot : “:0″ Pilot : “Incredible”

Pitman : “Castor, remind me how you’re helping?” Castor : “Hm?” Castor : “Oh im not” Castor : “When did i say i was?”

Castor : “Why?” Castor : “Why would you scream at a toaster?” Castor : “What did a toaster do to you?” Jenny : “KILL ME LIKE 10 FUCKING TIMES”

Chemist : “How the fuck do you cock a sword” Blacksmith : *sweats* Chemist : “Blacksmith”

Jenny : “MY NECK” Jenny : “MY BACK” Jenny : “MY INPENDING ANXIETY ATTACK-” 

Pitman : “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GO TO SLEEP OR ARE YOU NOT HIGH???” Chemist : “Yes” Chemist/Jenny : “Met God once. Wasn’t impressed.” Chemist : “Medic help” Jenny : “There is no help” Castor : “Medic cannot save you now” Jenny : “ uhhh yall are so good if you say anything against it i will crawl under your bed for 30 minutes exactly and gently suckle your ankles while you sleep until you accept“

[swampgallows]

..

i used to be really skinny, and i used to have tons of cute dresses that fit my skinny frame. i used to confidently be a size medium no matter what it was. then i started outgrowing juniors clothes and i realized i wasn’t a ‘junior’ anymore. i had entered ‘adult’ territory. which is frightening. and it wasn’t that i was fat, i just grew up. my shoulders and ribcage became too wide for shirts designed for, you know, thirteen year old girls.

but i wasn’t 5′2″ and 90 lbs, so i always still felt too big, too in the way, too much like i had to wear trash bags and hide myself for being an obstruction to fashion or beauty. 

i had so many cute dresses that i never wore and will never wear again. they will never fit me again no matter how much weight i lose. they wont fit my skeleton six months after ive been dead. 

somehow a gif of a woman cooking while wearing lingerie popped up on my dashboard. i remember buying a thong for Him, wearing it for Him, and how uncomfortable it felt, and how disgusting and awful i felt wearing it, but that i did it For Him, and i was in his kitchen and told him to feel under my already-sheer silk nightie for the black lace thong. 

all he said was ‘oh,’ and half-smiled. then, later, when i told him how heartbroken i felt, he said he was ‘embarrassed’ because ‘sometimes guys just arent horny’, or whatever. but it was because he, by this time, had already been cheating on me. but he sugarcoated it with something about my ‘cute little ass’, which i knew was pejorative, because he always talked about girls’ huge asses and had their ugly spread pussies and buttholes plastered all over his idiot fucking blog.

yeah, i DID have a cute little ass, and i fucking wasted it on you. i tried so hard to be the stupid fucking straight girl you wanted, to be the submissive you wanted, to be your best kept fucking secret because you REFUSED to commit to me, letting your shitty, trashy taste infest mine. your fucking superficial occultism and sex-posi fauxminism. you were only interested in comics because you got off to the same racist sexist trash that crumb did, and you were only interested in bakshi for the pulp. you tried to act ironic about it but jesus christ you really WERE turned on by chainmail bikinis. absolutely fucking pathetic. less of an aesthete than a hippie blowing glass in his airbrushed wizard van. even deadheads would tell you to get with the fuckin times. 

and i wasted it on you! i really did look at somebody with the name [redacted] and thought ‘oh yeah, thats the one. mr generic, that’s the guy for me. a proto-neo nazi? sign me up!’

i cant believe the amount of hatred i harbored toward myself. how much i hated myself to settle for that. how much i hated myself to not wear my pretty dresses. how fearful i was. how scared i was, and am, to be seen. how lonely i feel. how alone i am. how men look at me like i’m a doll, then stick a key in me and wind me up to operate as their surrogate mother.

i’m so fucking over straight men, dude. i’m so fucking tired of living in their world, defining myself by their principles, being compared to their standards of aesthetics. i’m so fucking sick of all the philosophs and academics and theologians and notepad scribblers, all the alphas and betas and omegas and kappas and poggers and channers and goons and what the fuck ever else, all the billionaires and ceos and presidents and managers, all the stupid johns and davids and brians and jameses looking at the world like a game of risk, a game only they would be stupid enough to invent and derive pleasure from, of cordoning up the planet and its peoples like slices of pie that they forced their barefoot pregnant wives to bake. 

i’m suffering in this world from a deficit of beauty, beauty of my own creation and within my own body. i haven’t respected my beautiful body, i haven’t respected my beautiful clothes, ive burrowed myself away in a warren of anxiety and fear away from dawns and sunsets and the crabs on the jetty while counting barnacles, too stubborn and stupid to chip off the ones growing endlessly on my back (and my face). 

i can make my body more comfortable, but i will never get the one i had back. my twenties are gone, and my youth was wasted on the young. 

i feel like no matter how old i get, no matter how successful i may feel or become, no matter what i accomplish of my own merits and how many fears i quash, i will always have this cacophonous jury of faceless pedophiles in my mind reminding me that i am no longer supple, that i am no longer useful, that all of the things i do in my life are only shortcomings in an attempt to make up for being a worthless cumdump. that no matter what i do, even if i find love and make my own home and live a successful life, i will only hear them telling me how my chest isnt flat, how my nose is too big, how the fun is gone now that im no longer a ten year old boy from behind. 

my therapy appointment is in six hours, and i dont really know if i can open up with that.