#i cant somehow put it properly into words
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there's some thought brewing about how jesper used the word "brother" for him and kaz ("because sometimes brothers fight") and the possibility of season 3/spinoff with kaz's "what do you think my forgiveness looks like jordie?"
#i cant somehow put it properly into words#but i know it'll give me more pain#kaz brekker#jesper fahey#kaz and jesper siblingism#six of crows#crooked kingdom
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Soft touches, silent roads
Warnings: Smut MDNI 18+
Contains: oral (f and m receiving), p in v, dirty talk, light choking (very brief) praise, mostly soft dom five (There is a little roughness), face fucking, cum eating, creampie (i hate the word too), car sex, bad writing, grammatical errors
Synopsis: You and five were at graces birthday party. You and him havenât seen each other in a long time so there is a lot of unspoken things between you and him especially the unspoken love and desire between you and him that was never addressed properly. (The events of the fourth season never occurred)
The birthday party was all out which was really sweet of Diego and Lila. The kids were having so much fun which was even sweeter. Lilaâs family was very kind too. It was odd seeing the family after a long while. Especially poor Klaus who was a raging germaphobe and extremely sober. which the sober part isnât a bad thing but the germaphobic tendencies is a little bit odd. No matter youâre just glad he is getting himself mostly together. Luther was what he called âA professional dancerâ which obviously was not true but you know whatâŠgood for him. There was Allison worried and scared that everybody hated her. Viktor was kinda off to the side since he didnât really want anything to do with any of us which you guess kinda makes sense after the shit weâve been through. you cant blame him completely for not wanting anything to do with us but its nice to know he cares still to show up. Ben was sulking about just getting out of jail and about his âBusinessâ. You really just hope he will get his shit together. Then lo and behold there was five. The one man you were nervous to talk to. The one that made your heart race and your face flush. You havenât spoken to him in a long time. Life caught up to you, you were healing from trauma and getting your own shit together. That being said he was always on your mind no matter how hard you tried to push him or the thoughts away. It was always a haunting thought in the back of your mind. A space just for him that was rent free. You looked over to him and to your surprise you caught him looking at you. His own eyes went a little wide with nervousness and looked away sipping his beer and looked back into the ball-pit where luther tried to scare him and ben. You felt your face flush and you looked away.
After a ruined back and a piñata issue it was time for everyone to go home. Sadly your car was being the biggest asshole of the day cause it decided to break down the day before. You had to take a uber which was scary at this time of night. You walked out the doors and leaned against the wall of the building. You went onto your phone to look for an uber when five came out he saw you and came on over âHeyâ you looked to him your face flushing as you saw those piercing green eyes âH-heyâ he chuckled and leaned against the wall his arms crossed âWhat are you doing? Arenât you gonna head home?â you sighed and shut pff your phone putting it in your pocket âMy car broke down yesterday. The hunk of junk had to be a paid actor cause that was to perfectly timed.â he smiled âSo what gives?â you sighed âIm getting an uber. It may not be the safest but i need to go home somehow.â he nodded. it was silent for a minute as he looked at you his eyes traveling down then up at your face again trying to stay calm but if you looked close youâd notice he swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. âYou can ride with meâ you look at him wide eyed âWait what?â he looked at your eyes âYeah you can ride with me. I donât want you getting hurt or worse.â you bit your lip nervously âno no its okay i-â five cut you off before you could say anything else âNo i insist come onâ he took your hand and gently led you to his car almost seeming eager. Your hand in his, skin against skin sent electricity through you and a shiver down your spine. You almost wanted to kick yourself cause it was such a simple touch. How the hell are you getting so worked up over such a simple god damn touch! isâŠis he getting worked up too? Is he feeling the same? You let him lead you to his car. He opens the passenger side for you âAfter you, princessâ he smiled you chuckled and got into the car âMy, what a gentleman!â he laughed and closed the door and got into the driver seat.
You and him have been driving for some time. At some point during the night drive home it began to rain. You looked to him his hands gripping the steering wheel. it was almost white knuckled how hard he was holding it. You swallowed as your eyes traveled over the veins in his hands. they were prominent and an indicator of what hid under his suit. you looked to his face his eyes slightly squinted to look out the glass windshield past the rain and slight fogging. his lips and nose those piercing green eyes and hair that made your insides flutter. You always were weak when it came to this man. he glanced to you and back to the road. âWhats with that look for?â you blushed lightly and looked back out the window ânothing.â the rain started to come down harder and tension built until the glass fogged up to much and the rain poured a little to hard. âFuck itâ he pulled into an empty lot and parked the car. you looked at him confused âwoah hey wha-â he unbuckled and turned to you âDonât say it isnât nothing. I donât want it to be nothing. I know it isnât nothing.â you looked him in his eyes. his eyes looked a little desperate almost pleading. You wanted to say it you knew it wasnât nothing but something in you still wanted to deny from fear of scaring him away âFive i-its nothing iâm being honestâ he shook his head âDonât say thatâŠit isnât. Me and you have always beat around the bush. When iâm with you i cant help it but to beat around the bush cause iâm afraid to lose you. I donât want to scare you away but god damn it y/n i cant do it any longer. Y/n i love you. You are in my mind no matter how much i try to push it away. I cant pretend that i donât love you cause i do. Y/n i love you and i was too afraid to say it but now iâm not. iâve gotten my shit together for the most part and me beating around the bush is not something i wanna do anymore.â you looked at him incredulously. He just professed his love to you. after so long of lingering stares and touches that lasted a little too long all coming to a sorta close. you swallowed âFive i have also loved youâŠiâve loved you even as i kept distance for 6 years i was in love with you as we danced at the wedding at the end of the world i was in love with you as we saved the world in the 60âs and i have loved you before. I was also too afraid to say it.â he looked at you with eyes that held love and adoration. His face came closer to yours both of you so close his breath fanned across your face you swallowed and kept eye contact with him. he looked from your lips to your eyes âY/n?â you kept your eyes locked with his âYeah?â âcan i kiss you?â you felt your breath hitch âGod yesâ he didnât need to be told twice. His lips were on yours kissing desperately. his hands came to either side of your face holding you close. your hands came around his neck one along his back and one traveled into his hair giving a slight tug making him groan. He lightly bit at your bottom lip and tugged gently. you whimpered softly and he growled at that lovely sound you made. his hands went from either side of your face and at the top of your arms feeling the skin under your sleeves. his lips traveled from your lips to your jaw and to your neck. his kissed almost reverently until he started to nibble and suck to create a dark purple love bite. you let out shuddering breath and you licked your bottom lip wetting it a little âf-fiveâŠfuckâ he detached his lips looking up at you with a hint of concern âYou okay? does it feel okay?â you nodded âFeels goodâŠso goodâŠâ his eyes darkened and growled softly âSuch a good girl made just for meâ he kissed and sucked your skin. after some time âI need you now baby please. Let me have youâ he looked up at you with a hint of pleading but there was room for you to say no and back away but thats not happening âYesâ
you and him had got into the back seat. he swallowed as he gently pulled your shirt over your head. he let out a breath ans he was speechless for a minute. you got a little worried and self conscious thinking maybe he was changing his mind. your hands where going to go around your body to cover but his hands where quick but gentle to pull your hands away ânoâŠno, donât coverâŠyouâre gorgeous i wanna see you, loveâ you felt relief flood through your body. you let him guide your hands away from your body. his hands pulled you closer and held you to him and kissed the side of your neck as he undid your bra letting your tits loose from the prison you call a bra. he growled a little âFuck look at you. perfect pretty girl. can i touch them baby?â you nodded and he shook his head his hand traveled to the back of your neck pulling you closer âAh ah baby i gotta hear you say it okay? use your words for me, hm?â you swallowed nervousness and excitement coursing through you âY-yesâŠplease touch meâ he hummed in appreciation âGood girlâ his hands came away the back of your neck and to your tits squeezing and kneading softly feeling there shape. he leaned down and kissed the top of one of your breasts and bit down and sucked pulling the skin in to make a love bite, marking you as his own. You moaned and blushed deeply. he soon pulled off and let go of your tits his hand traveling around your neck âLie back in the seat for me baby. i gotta have a taste of youâ you nodded. your cunt was soaked through your panties you could feel it the wet patch there was probably noticeable. He traveled down kissing down the valley of your breasts to your stomach all the way to the waistband. His fingers curled around the waistband looking up at you for permission. you nodded and he wasted no time pulling it down revealing the pretty black pair you on. his chuckle was mixed with a light growl âOh baby did you wear these just for me?â you and him both knew that this was not planned before hand so no but god damn it were you gonna entertain it âY-yeahâŠwore them just for youâ he hummed in appreciation and kissed your clothed clit making you jump a little âKnew you would. Youâre such a good girl. always so sweetâ you blushed and let out a shuddered breath. his fingers curled around the bottom of your panties and pulled them down off your legs and let them join the pile on the floor. he wet his bottom lip as he stared âO-oh babyâŠthis is what youâve hidden from me for far to long?â he kissed you clit reverently sending a shock of pleasure before he started to really get to it. his tongue licking at your slit and up to your clit. his lips wrapped around your clit and focused his tongue and attention there. you moaned and shivered. your hand traveling into his hair looking down at him only causing you to get more worked up. âo-oh fuck five god damn itâ your head fell back as you panted. he chuckled sending another shock of electricity âThat good baby?â you nodded. your thighs shook and threatened to close around his head. before they could his hands wrapped around them. keeping them opened âAh ah baby keep them nice and open for me, good girlâ he devoured you like you where the most delicious meal and you felt that cord within you tighten and threaten to snap. your moans came out louder and he knew you where close. his thumb came to your clit and rubbed gentle circles while his tongue focused on your slit. you felt your orgasm crash down on you and he licked away your cum with eagerness âmmm sweet tasting girl. perfect for meâ he came up for air panting. his chin had your slick down it. he wiped away at it and leaned down to kiss you. his tongue and your taste together was divine. you moaned softly. you felt his hard cock through his pants. you pulled back âlet me help youâŠplease?â your hand traveled to palm him and he let out a stuttering breath âOnly if you really want to baby.â you looked him in his eyes âi want tooâŠplease let meâ he smiled and kissed you one more time and sat up and let you move to in front of him in the backseat.
you and him had moved the front seat chairs up so you and him could have room. He let out a shuddering breath as you unbuckled him from his cloth prison. once his boxers were pulled down and away his cock was up against his stomach your eyes widened a little in surprise cause he was bigger then you expected. i guess what the world didnât give him in height gave in length. he chuckled âsurprised?â you nodded a little more eagerly then you wanted it to be âYeah⊠i am actually. im not say i was expecting it to be small i just thought youâd be average or somethingâ he chuckled and his hand came to your head pulling your hair back into a makeshift ponytail âDoll, im hurt! uou had no faith in me?â five feigned hurt with a mock pout. you chuckled âim sorry, baby. Let me make it up to youâ your lips went to his head. he groaned âFuuuck, doll.â your tongue flattened and you took more of him. his hand was in your hair helping you bob your head. he groaned and his head rolled back âjust like that baby mhm so good your taking me so goodâ you whined and looked up at him. he looked down at you and his cock twitched âFuck baby you cant look at me like that iâll blow my load to fastâ you giggled a little till he pushed your head down more and groaned. he face fucked you bobbing your head for you. âFuck just like that doll flatten that pretty fucking tongue!â he growled his eyes dark and his pupils blown wide. âThats it take it like the good sweet girl you are. Good girlâ he moaned and his head fell back against the seat. his balls tightened he came down your throat. you went wide eyed swallowing it down. he pulled out panting. he looked down at you his hands untangling from your hair and tucked your hair behind your ear and away from your face âYou okay baby?â you nodded wiping away tears âYeah iâm okay.â he smiled and helped you onto his lap and kissed you softly. âI was a little rough baby iâm sorryâ his thumbs gently swiped away any remaining tears.
After he let you calm down and get together holding you closely you laid on the backseat. you and him had let the backseats down. you looked up at him as he shrugged off his suit and vest undoing his tie and throwing it to the pile. he sat back a little looking at your naked splayed out body. his hand pumped his cock a few times âFuck sweetheart your gorgeous.â he crawled over you lining his cock with your waiting entrance. you swallowed. âFiveâŠcan you hold me while we do this? i wanna be close to youâ he looked up at you and smiled. his arms went around your body. one around your waist the other around your shoulders. he kissed your neck and slowly pushed in âf-fuck baby your tightâ he pushed all the way in. your breath seemed to stop for a minute your lips parted in a silent moan. he stayed still letting you get used to him âIts okay baby just breatheâ thats when you remember to breath breathing in then out letting your body relax. once fully relaxed he started to move in then out slow and sweet thrusts wanting to savor you and the feel of your walls squeezing his cock. soft moans and shudders of breath came from both of you. âGod i love you y/n its been to long of us dragging this out. I shouldâve told you beforeâ you shook your head you arms around him and his back âIts not just your fault- ah -i..i shouldâve said something tooâ you and him moaned as the pace picked up a little but stayed mostly slow and sweet. your hearts beat in sync with each other just as it is should. your pants filled the car and his groans filled your ears. the windows of the car fogged up and the soft patter of the rain against the car gave a soft atmosphere. âFuck baby i wish i could stay buried inside you foreverâ he let you go a little but stayed close his pace not stopping. he lifted on of your legs to his shoulder to get a deeper angel. the head of his cock kissing your g-spot perfectly causing your moans to come out louder. he felt your walls start to tighten around him indicating how close you where his thrusts went faster âIts okay baby i got you i got you cum for meâŠcum with me, fuck your such a good girl cum with meâ his moans came out louder with yours. his hands found yours and held them intertwining you and his fingers. the cord within your stomach snapped and as soon as he felt your walls tighten his cock twitched and he came with you his cum pouring inside you filling you up. He groaned and slowed his pace going slow to fuck you through it but not to overstimulate you. you and him panted, a thin layer of sweat glistening on your bodies. he looked down at you and smiled softly moving some of the hair from your face that stuck to you away âYou okay baby?â you nodded âyeahâŠyeah Iâm okayâŠare you?â he smiled and chuckled âMore then okay.â you looked up at him admiring him for all he was. he noticed your look and leaned down and kissed you softly and you happily kissed back. he pulled out of you causing you both to whimper a little. he pulled off looking at you âCome on lets get redressed. If you wanna we can come to my place and we can get cleaned up and relax the rest of the nightâ you smiled âi like that ideaâ
So both of you got redressed after he found some wet wipes to clean you up a little. you helped each other get redressed and soon drove home where you and him took a proper shower (Mightâve had a little round two in there) and relaxed for the rest of night laid in bed in one of his sweaters and watched a cheesy rom-com while cuddling under the sheets till you fall asleep.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
Hey there guys! i hope you like it! its my first time writing a smut. I was nervous writing this sorry for any grammatical errors or if it seemed rushed (i hope it doesnât). I love you and stay safe yâall â€ïž đ
#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua#umbrella acedmy#number five#five hargreaves x you#five hargreeves x you#five hargreaves x reader#number five x you#five hargreeves x reader#number five x reader#five x reader#tua five#smut#tua smut#five hargreeves smut#five x y/n#five x you
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Pool Day with the Kengan boys
Gender neautral
Reader is wearing a swimsuit
A bit suggestive
Please stay hydrated and wear sunscreen, no matter your skin tone!!! Because every one can get sun damage!!!!! Also be careful to not slip on the tiles, and make sure the colour of your swimsuit can be seen underwater, so you can be easily spotted!!!
Imai Cosmo
AAAHHH this boy is basically vibrating in his seat during the car trip. He cant wait to play in the water with you.
Once you guys reach the pool he would rush you to the changing rooms, and will sulk if you tell him to slow down.
After you change into your swimsuit he will get a bit more bashful (cus he checking u outđ). However he soon gets over it and continues being playful.
He definetly says some shit like 'I dont need sunscreen!' đ boy shut up before you turn red.
He WILL splash you with water.
Loves to cuddle you on those big ass floaties.
DEFINITELY HITS YOU IN THE HEAD WITH POOL NOODLES.
The aqua blue of the pool really suits him, tbh imo he would rock the surfer boy aesthetic.
This cutie gets so sad when you guys have to leave đ„ș
Overall 8/10 pool day, very fun however you probably cant keep up with his energy, and you have to nag him about pool safety.
Sen Hatsumi
This man is laying his charm on thick as soon a he thinks of the word 'swimsuit'.
He would ask if he can rub sunscreen on you(đ) don't let his innocent tone fool you. As soon as he gets his hands on you he is going to feel you up.
As for him, he would ask (beg) you to put sunscreen on him. If you do agree to help him, he looks composed on the outside but he will get a bit giddy and shy.
He will laze about on a sunbed or float in the water with you.
He looks SO SEXY with wet hair
If he's feeling playful he might pull you in the water before you're acclimated to the temperature, so you shiver and hold on to him for warmth.
You have to tell him to get his mind out of the gutter when he sees you eating ice cream or ice lollies .
He will constantly be checking you out ngl, and will try to say some shit like 'youre cute with your swimsuit but you'd look even cuter without it'đđđ
9/10 pool day, this guy is just so chill that it relaxes you.
Rihito
This guy is throwing compliment after compliment, giggling and blushing at you.
He would either totally forget to apply sunscreen and cry like a baby the next day, while you apply aloe vera or yoghurt on him. Or he wont stop harassing you until you put sunscreen on him (much like a kid on a car trip repeating 'are we there yet??').
Can see him wearing those arm floaties.
Definitely complains about how sticky the sunscreen is.
Would put you on his shoulders while in the pool
He would submerge himself so he can ogle at your body under the water
Dont fall asleep around this man when youre sunbathing because he will squirt (lol) sus shaped sunscreen blobs on you.
Idk why but I can see him getting tan
7.5/10 pool day cus hes too focused on wooing you.
AAAUAUAUAHSVAHAUUAHAUAUAUAUAAUAUUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAYAUAUAUSHYAUAGSUSJAUAYAUAUAHSUAUAUSGAUAUAHYA THIS FUCKING POST DIDNT SAVE LIKE 4 TIMES PROPERLY AND I HAD TO RE WRITE THIS SHIT LIKE 7 TIMES CUS ONE TIME MY WIFI WENT OUT AND DIDNT SAVE AND THEN I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT AND SOMEHOW IT DIDNT POST FULLY AUAGEYAHSGWUWHSGAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAJWJWUWJWHBW đčđčđčđčđčđčđčđčđčđčđč
#kengan ashura#kengan omega#kenganverse#kengan ashura x reader#cosmo imai x reader#cosmo imai#lihito#ichiro nakata#ichiro nakata x reader#lihito x reader#hatsumi sen#hatsumi sen x reader
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Ice cold: Astarion x reader
content: ascended Astarion x gn tav, angst, tav is goin through it in this one yall, i give karlach a more hopeful ending in the background bc i just want her to be happy, karlach and tav besties agenda, sfw, cannon typical violence
summary: after breaking it off with ascended Astarion, you meet again at a winter ball
word count: 6k (apparently i cant shut up about this man)
a/n: man i gotta write more happy Astarion content fr i keep putting this man in situations.
How many years had it been since youâd seen Astarion? 3? 5? Maybe more? You try to remember what your last moments with him were like before you decided to break things off. It was definitely after he ascended, but was it before you had gotten rid of the tadpole, or after? Honestly, after a while things had started to blur together really. After so many years, only the painful parts remained clear in your memory. How you, with tears in your eyes, had told him you couldnât do this anymore. And the look of condescending and uncaring as he stared back. It had shattered you into a million pieces to end things with Astarion, but it would have hurt even more if you had stayed. Whoever he had become after he ascended, it wasnât your astarion, not really.
Why were you reminiscing about your lost love? Well because after all these years apart, he was now standing about 5 feet away from you. Gods above how did you get yourself in this situation?
Letâs start a few years back after Astarion had left to be the new lord of Baldurâs Gate and you had stayed, shattered. Having to pick up the broken pieces of what you once were, having to figure out who you would be without him. You probably should have taken some time alone, now that you think about it. Processed your emotions, talked to a professional, properly mourned what you had lost before continuing on.
Of course, you had done the opposite and instead had decided to travel with Karlach and Wyll to Avernus. Going to hell is probably not the best way to cope with a breakup, but that was the only option anyone could think of to try and save Karlach from the fate of the engine in her chest. And after what had happened to Astarion you just-
You just couldnâtÂ
You couldnât lose someone else, if you did, you felt like you would have been shattered past the point of repair. You couldnât take losing one of your only friends right after losing your love. So you gathered up the broken pieces of yourself and headed straight into the hells.Â
You were down there for a few years probably.Â
Maybe?Â
Honestly, you didnât remember. Time became sluggish and foggy after Astarion had left because it kept marching forward, away from your time together with him.
Yet in the end, Karlach had gotten her engine fixed and all 3 of you had climbed out of hell. A few more burn marks and scars, but nothing more than that had changed. Physically at least.
You had somehow managed to put your broken pieces back together, but you werenât the same as before. You didnât feel complete, more like a jumble of razor-sharp shards being forcefully welded together trying to imitate what you once were. But now you were jagged, and cracked, and tired
Gods, you were tired. The dark circles under your eyes never left, no matter how much you slept. Or tried to sleep that is.
Sometimes in the dead of night, you would replay Astarion's ascendance in your mind over and over again, wondering what you could have done differently then. Or even before. Where had you gone wrong? Was there another outcome that you failed to make happen? Was there another reality where the two of you were happy together? Gods how that thought hurt.Â
 Sometimes, you thought about the what-ifs. You imagined what would have happened if he hadnât chosen to ascend. What both of you could have been. What you so desperately wanted but could never reach. Eventually, you stopped that line of thought at night. It was too crushing to imagine how things could have been different. What you could have done differently.Â
After emerging from hell, you had on and off traveled with some of your previous party.Â
You and Wyll had headed to Waterdeep once to help Gale with a sea monster problemÂ
In an amusing team-up, you had helped Halsin and Lazel find an enchanted bracelet they were both searching for, though they both argued on how to act upon most things during that entire adventure, so you had felt almost like it was a babysitting gig the entire trip.Â
There was also that time you helped Minsc dispose of some bandits robbing people near Baldur's gate, but you had dealt with that sorry lot fairly quickly and got far away from Baldur's Gate even quicker. You didnât want to accidentally run into a certain lord.Â
And now you had an entirely new quest, in the bitter cold land of Sossal. A few weeks ago, you met back up with Karlach who apparently had been looking for you.
Itâs not that you disliked seeing Karlach at all, in fact, you were both very close, which was part of the problem really. Part of why it stung a little to see her.Â
She saw you. She saw how much you hurt even after all this time. Your other friends seemed to have assumed that you had gotten better. That over time you had healed and it had gotten easier for you to come to terms with leaving Astarion. But Karlach knew the truth, She saw right through you, and it was mortifying. That every day the hole inside your heart had just got wider. She feared it would swallow you up one day, and you didnât blame her. It didnât help that being around her just made you feel so
Pathetic.Â
She had been to literal Hell and back and could still smile and laugh, while you had only lost one person and had cracked and splintered like glass. It hurt to see the light that shined off her while you could only fall deeper into darkness.Â
Of course, you knew none of that was her fault, you only had yourself to blame for who you were, so when she came asking for help, you didnât hesitate to say yes.Â
She was having engine troubles again. It wasnât as bad as before, thank the gods, but it did have a tendency to overheat ever so slightly whenever she felt a strong emotion, and if you didnât do something one wrong spook could set her ablaze. Luckily she had gone to Gale first and discovered a gem Called the frostbite tear. He could attune the gem to Karlach and make it so that every time her engine began to overheat, the jewel would immediately cool it down, negating the problem before it became a real issue like when you had first met her. Last anyone had heard of the gem it was with some noble in Sossal.Â
So here you were. You, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Gale all together at the midwinters ball held here in the capital. Gale had procured the invites for you all, and every noble in Sossal, plus some from other territories, would be here for this celebration. Gale had even been nice enough to give you a beautiful outfit for the ball, made of silvery-white sparking silk. It reminded you of fresh snowfall on a winter's night. Admittedly it wasnât very practical, and Gale did make you shower before putting it on. (Rude. You didnât think you smelled t h a t bad.)
You were so focused on helping find this noble (and robbing him of the frostbite tear) that you hadnât even considered Astarion might be here.Â
Not up until the moment that his vibrant red eyes locked onto yours across the room.Â
You couldnât move. Everything was moving too fast and also in slow motion. Your legs felt like lead and your mouth was bone dry. The numbness that had settled in your chest for years now cracked open with new pain, and you werenât sure which of the sensations you hated more.Â
All all this panic and emotions, and yet in your mind all you could think of was how he looked just the same as the day you left. He hadnât changed. And that made it all the harder. Because now it was easier to forget all the years between you two. He still looked the same as what you saw when you closed your eyes each night. It was Astarion. But on closer examination, not your Astarion.Â
There was a coldness to him now. A certain reservation in his smile that made you feel like you would be a mere annoyance to him if you dared to approach. He seemed sharper somehow as well, like a finely honed blade. And his attire was extravagantly beautiful, the white fur-lined cloak he was wearing was probably more expensive than anything you had ever owned, including your current attire.Â
You were so busy taking this all in mentally that when you went to glance at him again he was gone. For a split second, you genuinely wondered if you had finally snapped and just hallucinated all of that when an all too familiar hand took yours.Â
You hadn't looked away for more than a second and astarion was right there in front of you, kissing your knuckles. The brush of his lips on your skin was nearly enough to bring you to your knees. All these years, and he still had so much power over you with one little motion.
To any outsider, this looked like quite the cute interaction really. The handsome new lord of Baldur's gate spots an incomparable beauty from across the room and is instantly smitten, so he effortlessly woes them the second he steps into the ballroom. But life is no romantic play.Â
âHello darling, it certainly has been a while. We simply must catch upâÂ
Before you could even attempt to respond, his hands were around your waist, guiding you to the dancefloor as the orchestra began to play, and other couples began to join the dancefloor as well.Â
Youâd hoped maybe the dance would save you from the conversation, but it seemed the opposite was what occurred, as Astarion leaned closer to your ear to whisper, âSo, 7 years without a trace, and suddenly you show up looking positively exquisite. Do tell me what youâve been up to.âÂ
Your mouth opens to respond, but you realize you have no idea what to say. What could you possibly say to him, and why would you even say it?Â
Luckily you were spared any more torture when you noticed Astarion staring intently at your neck. The sight reminded you of that night you found out he was a vampire spawn, and you had let him drink from you for the first time. But instead of hunger Astarions brown was furrowed with another emotion. Annoyance? Concern? Worry? You couldnât tell anymore. It had been years since you could tell what Astarion was thinking
His voice broke the silence once again.Â
âIs this new?â His long pale fingers brushed across the burn scar near your collarbone.
Ah. So thatâs what he was staring at.Â
âWell itâs been there a few years, so I wouldnât really consider it new but-â you shrug at the end of your sentence, and you both know what you meant. It was only new to him. He may have stayed unchanged all these years, but you certainly hadnât. And it seemed Astarion was beginning to notice.Â
His eyes raked over you, taking in the changes. You were a bit more muscular now, all that constant fighting no doubt. Your new(er) scars were more visible in this outfit, which admittedly was a little revealing and definitely not meant to withstand the harsh outside winter. And the years now showed in the tired look in your eyes. You imagine that your eyes aged you quite a bit honestly, maybe you should be shocked he even recognized you now.Â
âSoâ, he started, decidedly keeping his hand firmly around your waist so you couldnât run from the conversation, âwhen you made my undead heart beat again only to toss it on the ground at my feet again like it was nothing all those years ago, I always imagined how nice it would feel to see you struggle while I thrived as lord of Baldur's Gate.âÂ
Wow. Impressively bad flirting. Had he gotten worse at this over the years? Or maybe he just detested you so much he didnât even think there was a point in even pretending to like you anymore.Â
âBut now that Iâm actually here and you look-â
He gestured at you vaguelyÂ
âWell a bit like youâd been the one who got dumped, it doesnât feel very satisfying.âÂ
âMhm,â you responded, in a stroke of pure poetry.Â
âDarling, you have to give me more than that. The silent treatment after all this time is just petty, even for me.â
He had a point. And part of you did want to know-
âHow have you been, Astarion?âÂ
His steps faltered a little when you said his name, but he quickly recovered, smoothly continuing the danceÂ
He smirked, his fangs visible on one side âWell certainly better than you if I had to wager, the stuff under my eyes is eyeliner, not sleep deprivation side effects.â
You close the distance between you two involuntarily to get a closer look at his face. He was wearing some sort of golden liquid as eyeliner on his bottom lids. It was subtle but beautiful, and it shined when the light hit his face just right. On instinct, you began to reach towards his face, but you quickly stopped yourself. You needed to stay focused, damnit. You were here to help Karlach.
Astarion's smooth voice cut in once again. âStill making me do all the talking? Honestly, I donât ever remember you being this quiet before.âÂ
You startled and realized you had been staring at his face for a while, and then trying to snap yourself out of it, all while not making a sound
Gods you donât remember it being this hard to talk to him. But then again, you found it harder to talk to anyone these days. you just-
You just didnât expect that to also apply to Astarion. Further proof that despite him looking the same, there was distance now. A silent gaping chasm that you had no way to cross. But that is what you wanted, wasn't it? To get away from this Astarion. The one who considered you a pet, or an object to be displayed. Treasured, and loved, but never his equal. Never fully having free will, everything you would have done would have had to be something he approved of.Â
You loved him, more than anything. You still did. Deep down you knew you would die for this twisted version of your love, and if he asked you to rip out your own heart and serve it to him, you would. But you couldnât be with him. Everything else you would do for him, but that was where you drew the line. It hurt too much, to be reminded every day of what you had lost. Of what you have failed to protect. That sweet high elf with a silver tongue and a heart of gold he let so few see. The one who wished for freedom more than anything, but still stuck by your side. Because at some point, he wanted to be free with you. And that was not this Astarion.Â
Despite all that, just for this moment, you wanted to forget it all. To be held in his arms once again. Maybe, if the gods blessed you, see a real smile of his. You just wanted this one moment. Then your greedy heart would be satisfied. You could burn this image of the two of you dancing forever in your mind and have it sustain you. Youâd gladly take another trip to the hells if it meant just a moment where you could pretend you were with your astarion. The one that lived on in your memories. Though you didnât dare hope that he was still in there somewhere, you donât think your heart could take it.Â
You inhale deeply and begin to talk. You tell him about the quests youâve been on, the adventures youâve had, what youâve been up to these past years. Including why you were here, and your quest to help Karlach and find the frostbite tear.
Eventually, you get to the point where you tell him why you're here, and what you're looking for. But as you do you see a scowl twist on his face.Â
âAstarion?â You question, âWhatâs bothering you?â
He huffs in reply, and you canât help but smirk.Â
âIâm sorry but I do remember someone just talking about how petty the silent treatment is.â You prod, and lock eyes, a sign for him to tell you whatâs on his mind
He rolls his eyes at your persistence, but nonetheless, he begins to speak.Â
âHm. Just seems like you and Karlach are so very happy together. A bit of a downgrade if you ask me, but thatâs certainly no fault of hers. I mean, once youâve had me, all you can do is go down from there.âÂ
âKarlach and I arenât dating.â You deadpan.Â
She was more like a sister to you than anything, and besides youâre pretty sure she already has eyes for someone.Â
âOh?â Astarions eyebrow raises. âSo who have you been shagging all these years then? Wyll? Shadowheart? Surely not Gale. Oh please tell me itâs not Gale, I think that might actually hurt my feelings a little if we both shared being to your tastes.âÂ
âBe nice. Gales is a good friend. FRIEND. They all are. And to answer your prying question, Iâm not with anyone. Not since you.âÂ
It was true. You hadnât loved anyone since astarion. It just didnât feel right. Even the idea of a casual fling didnât feel at all satisfying. And there was no way you would actually consider dating someone again. Not when Astarion still held your heart.Â
You could see a few emotions go across Astarionâs face, but you couldnât recognize them. You remember when you used to be able to know what he was thinking, when he was lying or not. But not anymore. Maybe it was because he was always putting on some act now.Â
As you stared, his hand wrapped around your waist and for a breathless moment, he effortlessly lifted you up into the air, gently twirling you around him. then he put you down and smoothly continued the dance as if that was always part of the steps.Â
Your face flushed at the amount of contact, and the smirk once again graced Astarionâs lips.
âSo, nobody since me? Seems like someoneâs not quite over the Lord of Baldurâs Gate.â He singsonged, taking great pleasure in how momentarily flustered you were. âIt's ok if you're not over me darling, I canât blame you.âÂ
Clearly, he meant this as a joke, one you were supposed to roll your eyes at and ignore. But there was no point in lying, so you just nodded and continued the steps of the dance.Â
Astarion stopped dead in his tracks.Â
âI-
Wait what? You're still-
Ah-Â
You're not over me?âÂ
âAstarion, the song isnât over.â You tried to nudge him back into the dance, but his feet were planted firmly, and he wasnât going to budge.Â
âAnswer me.âÂ
You sigh. He wasnât going to move. So now you were just standing here. In the middle of a ballroom. With everyone else dancing around you. Great. This was super inconspicuous and undercover.Â
âI will only continue to talk if you move your damn feet Astarion. Hells Iâm supposed to be blending in not standing out.â You hiss and kick at the side of his shoes to indicate for him to get moving.
He recognizes the determination in your eyes and you can see him deciding mentally that heâll probably get his answer sooner if he does as you ask, so he picks up the dance once again. His grip on your waist is now like iron though, not painful in any way, but thereâs absolutely no way you could get out of his grasp now. Not even if you put all your efforts into trying.Â
His eyes never left yours, his intense stare practically commanding you to talk.
Which you did say you would do.Â
âI still love you.â You shrug. âNever stopped loving you.â
âThen why did you leave?â The hurt in his voice is evident, and you immediately feel like someone hurled a spear of ice directly into your chest.Â
You can barely raise your voice above a whisper without it cracking. âYou know why. I already told you when I left.âÂ
âBullshit. Because you loved the person that I was? He was pathetic. Only a fool would want the lesser version.â His voice was like ice, you could feel the hatred he held for himself.
And you instantly felt your anger flare up at his words.
âDonât you ever talk about-
About him like thatâ
It felt weird referring to past Astarion as someone else. But it was true. They were two completely different people now. And honestly, you didnât care about the semantics, your blood was practically boiling.Â
âHe was the love of my life. He was everything to me. So donât you dare insult him.â You spat, practically seeing red
Astarion's face twisted in rage.Â
âMaybe you liked me pathetic, hm? Maybe the only way you could possibly love me was if I was beneath you. A precious pet spawn, entirely dependent on you, living in your shadow to protect me from the sun that I now bask in.â He sneered, meeting your rage with his own.
And just like that, you had shattered all over again.Â
It was your turn to stop dancing now, unmoving in the sea of swaying nobles.Â
Astarion's rage seemed to have flickered out seeing the look on your face.
What did your face look like? Were you shocked? Were you crying? Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could register the feeling of hot tears down your cheeks, but you paid it no heed.Â
Instead, you wrapped your arms around Astarion, putting your face in the crook of his neck.Â
Astarion completely froze at the sudden contact, not even taking a breath. Although he probably didnât need to actually breathe anyways so maybe that was normal.
âIâm sorry. If-
-If you truly believe that I ever thought that way about you, then I messed up beyond repair. I'm so sorry.âÂ
You tried to continue, to apologize for all the times you had failed him. For making him feel like that. But you realized you couldnât speak. Your body was silently heaving with sobs, tears flowing down your face and ruining Astarion's nice clothing.
Great. You couldnât even cry without screwing him over. And this was definitely not inconspicuous.Â
You lifted your head, making a move to step away, but as you did you saw a blue glint on one of the lapels of some well-dressed lord.
Holy shit.
The frostbite tear. You had found it. And all it took was sobbing on your ex to spot the damn thing. That didnât make you feel pathetic at all. Though admittedly this was the perfect distraction from this soul-crushing conversation. Maybe with any luck you wouldnât even have to address that embarrassing display that no doubt disgusted astarion, he was probably hoping youâd get the hell off him already.
So you did just that, jerking back from the hug and keeping your eyes glued on the gem.Â
âAstarion look. Itâs the frostbite tear. On that lord.â
But you could tell Astarionâs eyes were firmly glued to your face.Â
You tried to slip away, to follow the frostbite tears owner and relieve him from its ownership, whether that be by swiping it, lying, or just straight up threatening the guy. But Astarion held you firmly in place.Â
âWhat are you doing?â You whispered, to not startle your target. âHeâs right there. Let go.â
âYou canât just drop that on me and leaveâ he whisper-yelled backÂ
âIâm not leaving, Iâm just grabbing something real quick. Now let go, itâll take 5 minutes tops.â
âWhat if you decide you donât wanna talk again and run off?â He counteredÂ
âThen you can corner me because you're the vampire ascendant.âÂ
âWhat if he catches you and you get arrested?â
âThen you can visit me in jail because you're the vampire ascendant.âÂ
âWhat if-â
Oh for fucks sake.Â
âWhatever happens, I assure you, you will be able to say whatever you want to me after because you are the vampire ascendant. You made that fact very clear to me when we were together. Now let go.â You cut him off, and then try once again to move towards the target. But his grip remained firmÂ
You look up at him, now filled with annoyance and desperation. The noble could escape if you didnât do something now, and yet Astarion seemed insistent on trapping you.Â
âJust one more dance, alright?â He bargained.
Unbelievable. That was his priority? You knew it had been a while but you never expected him to disregard a former ally so blatantly. Karlach needed this.Â
But upon closer inspection, he almost looked⊠a little guilty? Worried maybe? That didnât seem right. What on earth?
Just then, Astarion pushed your face into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, almost protective. Protective but restrictive. You couldnât move away no matter how much you pushed on his chest or tried to slip out of his hold.Â
âAstarion. Let. Go.â You hissed.
But your attempts at breaking free immediately stopped when you heard an ear-piercing screech and the sound of heavy footsteps.Â
On instinct, you reached for where your weapon would normally be, but you had nothing on you. Shadowheart had a few small weapons concealed on her in case things got messy, considering her attire was a bit more conservative than yours, but she wasnât anywhere near you now.Â
Damnit. On instinct, you tried to twist around in Astarion's grasp to a more protective stance. Of course, you knew he didnât need your protection at all, it was just a base instinct kicking in. Unfortunately, he didnât allow you to move out of his grasp, so all you could do was squirm.Â
âWhat is wrong with you??â You practically shouted. If there was danger, then just standing here like this would leave you both wide open. Had he lost all common sense?Â
Unless-Â
At that exact point, a guard of the lord of Sossal burst through the doors, covered in blood.Â
âVampire spawn are attacking the gates!â She exclaimed, cradling her arm, which was profusely bleeding.Â
âI didnât know you would be here.â He murmurs, almost as if heâs telling this to himself more than you.Â
He wasnât trying to keep you here, you realize. He was protecting you. None of the spawn would dare come near you if they saw Astarion holding you like this.Â
But at this moment you didnât care. For years you had mourned over the loss of your Astarion. You had tried so hard, attempting to separate him from this ascended Astarion. But you had never been truly able to get over him, to accept he was gone. Because deep, deep down, no matter what you told yourself, you still believed he was in there somewhere. Behind all the silks and sharp gazes.
And you felt that hope die as you heard the hissing of the dozens of spawn outside, mingled with the screams and cries of the guards. He was gone. And your heart was shattered all over again.Â
But it was different this time. Before, you had pulled yourself together again, deformed and jagged, but still together. You couldnât do that this time. There was no coming back from this. You could feel it. This pain wouldnât fade. But there was something else there that wasnât there before. Anger.
Astarion was protecting you, yes, but Gale, Shadowheart, and Karlach were here too. If the spawn got into the ballroom, they would be in danger. Not to mention this made procuring the frostbite tear infinitely more difficult.Â
Rage burned in your eyes, and for the first time, you saw the great vampire ascendant stumble over his words a little, as he tried to explain something about how the lord of Sossal had insulted him, but you werenât listening.Â
While Astarion was struggling to explain himself, you realized he wasnât paying as much attention to you. Good.
In one swift movement, you slipped out of his grasp and frantically looked around, searching for your friends. It was nearly impossible to hear anything over the screaming and panic of the nobles. It also wasnât helping that Astarion was probably going to be right on your heels the second he recovered. Or maybe heâd just leave you to be eaten by his spawn. You didnât really care.Â
After continuing to weave your way past frantic nobles and shouting their names, you were able to see a red hand waving you down from the far left balcony. It was Karlach, and she was with Gale and Shadowheart. Good. With all 3 of them together any spawn that came after them would be screwed. But you still had a mission to complete.
You looked up at Shadowheart and held your hand out for a weapon. You were going to track down that damn gem if it killed you. That noble was about to have a very bad day. Well. A worse day.Â
You were focusing all your hurt onto this, all your rage. But you needed to. You needed it because you had no idea what else you could do now. You needed something to focus on. Something to distract you from your shattered heart.Â
Shadowheart saw your determination and tossed a short sword down to you. Not your preferred weapon of choice, but it would do.
You whipped around, hand around the short sword at the ready, but also because it felt grounding, to be fighting once again. Now it was time to hunt down your prey.
You quickly ran in the direction youâd last seen, glancing over every lapel for that glowing blue light. It was hard, many of the nobles were dressed in a winter theme, so shades of white, silver, and blue were all too common in the sea of panic.Â
You continued to push past nobles, searching for that faint blue glow. You refused to let this go, you would not let Karlach down. You fought for too many years in hell getting the engine in her repaired to go all the way back to square one again.Â
You feel yourself tunnel vision on finding a blue light, your head whipping back and forth on the hunt, it felt good to let everything else fade away into numbness as your only thought is tracking down this gem.
A glimmer out of the corner of your eye. A flash of blue. The shine of fine silk. There he was. In a crowd of panicked nobles trying to run into other parts of the castle and hide from Astarion's horde gathering outside. Honestly, it was a pretty understandable reaction, you didn't blame him for running at all, but you needed that gem. You hope he survived honestly.
Survived.
Because Astarion planned to turn this place into a bloodbath. Your Astarion. The one who you had sat under the stars with, and he would teach you all the constellations whose names you didn't know, his silky voice lulling you to sleep when insomnia or worry had hit you.Â
You'd rather still be in the hells honestly.Â
You took a deep breath, centering yourself back to the present. Get the gem.Â
You dashed after the noble, drawing your shortsword and charging at the man. If possible, you'd do this quickly.
Ducking under the other guests, you grab this unfortunate noble by the collar, the moment you do he screeches, clearly fearing the worst. Luckily for him, you were only after his gem, not his blood. With one slice you cut the gem off the cloak, shredding the beautiful white fabric.Â
Not even bothering to explain yourself to him, you pocket your prize and turn on your heel, heading back in your friend's direction, when all of a sudden you hear the noble you had just stolen from scream again. But this time it was followed by the screams of a few othersÂ
You look back and thatâs when you see her. A vampire spawn. Clearly on her way to the ballroom, but judging by her smile, it was clear she had just found some horderves.Â
You could have run. You were the only person with a weapon and the farthest away from her. She definitely wouldnât pick you as her first target, sheâd go for one of the defenseless nobles right next to her. You should have met up with the others and gotten the hells out of this place.
But the noble whose lapel you had just torn apart was so young. They were people. Scared people who got unlucky and were about to die because someone had offended the great vampire ascendant. Maybe you wanted to save them. But more likely, you just wanted something to take your anger out on. Or maybe you were just dumb as a rock.
But regardless you turned around and began to sprint towards the spawn instead of away, angling your weapon so that you would have the perfect angle to go for her collarbone.Â
Yet as soon as you locked her on as a target, her eyes went wide with..fear? She was a vampire spawn, surely sheâd had a few of her victims fight back yes? Was this her first hunt?Â
Soon you realized that wasnât the case at all as you felt a chill run down your spine. Even now with all his power, it wasnât hard for you to identify the presence now standing menacingly right behind you. The familiar smell of bergamot filled your senses with the closeness. You could feel his chest pressed against your back. You didnât know what kind of face Astarion was making right now, but whatever it was, it terrified the vampire spawn, her form now shaking and cowering before her master.Â
Funny. Even now after everything, you couldnât find astarion scary. You probably should, considering how he just appeared behind you. But after everything you still couldnât.Â
There was no point in delaying this any further. You turn around, and as you do his eyes immediately move from the spawn back to you. And his gaze softened. Before this whole ordeal that single action probably would have caused you to melt. But now it was different. You had already resigned yourself to being without him. You couldnât turn back time. You couldnât save him. All you could do now was try and find a way forward. And you certainly wouldnât find that staring into his crimson eyes.Â
This felt awful. You felt awful. Walking away from him now didnât feel like closure, it felt like someone had just stopped writing on the page mid-sentence. But you had to stop. Just stop. You couldnât spend the rest of your life like this, mourning what you lost. Astarion would have an eternity to forget about you, but you only had this one life. And for the first time in a long time, you finally felt like you wanted to move forward with your life. To start living again. You were still mad. And upset. And it still hurt. But you wanted to get better.Â
So you turned around, not looking at Astarion, and left. Walked right past him without saying a word. You didnât know what he would do. Let you leave and forget you ever existed? Grab your arm and try to talk again? Decide he had had enough and just drain you dry? You honestly had no idea anymore. But you knew one thing.
You wouldnât be the one to look back.
#astarion fic#astarion romance#astarion x mc#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion x you#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3 astarion#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion my beloved#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#bg3 spoilers#astarion bg3#astarion x y/n#bg3 x reader#bg3 x tav#bg3 x you#astarion angst#astarion and tav
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[FANTASMAS] SNIPPET ăă»BLADE NSFW
clawing the walls pt.2
HONKAI STAR RAIL MASTERLIST
MASTERLIST ă»ăă»NAVIGATION
âCareâ careful,â you breathe unsteadily as he lines himself up, sinking his sharp teeth into your shoulder lightly. âYou wouldnât want to give off the wrong impression that you actually like me now.â
And thereâs something vulnerable in your tone: a small self-deprecation. He tries ignoring it.Â
âYeah,â he mutters, grasping your warm hand in his own calloused, frigid one. âWouldnât want that.â
But his tone is insincere, and he thinks you can tell.Â
Somehow.Â
Somehow.Â
Maybe itâs futile to believe you understand him, yet your piercing eyes and annoyed glare as you look at him are always surface-level: angry but still not resolving to actually move out. You were the one who figured out his intentions from the beginningâirritating you until you simply leftâwhile the other roommates just shivered and slammed the door behind them.Â
You stayed.Â
Heâs been kissing you over and over and overâand he kisses you again now as he slowly sinks into the tight heat of your hole. Fuck. Perhaps if his head was clearer, heâd think about the implications of kissing you in particular when he hasnât touched lips with anyone else for years.Â
He whines lowly as he pushes in deeper. Youâre so damn warmâso gorgeous like this: palms splayed against his shoulders, expression all hazy and fucked-out, lips so inviting he has to put his mouth on yours yet again.Â
âFuck,â you hiss into his lips as he bottoms out. It takes all his self-restraint to not cum immediately, adjusting to just how good you feel.Â
You cant your hips so youâre rocking back onto him with a satisfied hum. The motion wrangles a moan out of him, but he desperately grips your waist with his strong fingers so you quit moving.Â
âHold on,â he slurs, rubbing small circles on the flesh with his thumbs. Heâs throbbing, teeth caught on his lips to keep his mind clear. Shit. To be so close already makes him feel like a virgin again: sensitive at the slightest touch. You seem to be so damn full of surprises.Â
âWhat, surprised it feels like this?â You sound amused, and he looks at you irritably.Â
âYeah,â he leans down and practically moans into your ear, rolling his hips against your plush ass. You shiver slightly, and his lips split wide in a mocking grin at the effect the sound had.Â
âYou feel so good,â he whines, deliberately dragging out the noise. âTaste so good too.â
âMmhââ you cover your mouth as he begins moving properly nowâyet still so teasingly slow.Â
He catches your wrist with a firm hand, gripping it tightly against the bed so he can hear you properly.
âWhatâs wrong? Surprisedâhahâit feels like this?â He throws your words back at you, but itâs not like heâs doing much better. Itâs taking everything within him to not just fill you up: letting his cum drip out of you while he stuffs it back in. The thought darkens his red face even further.Â
You donât answer. Itâs only natural that he moves agonisingly slowâprobing for an answer while his fingers busy themselves by wrapping around your weeping cock, achingly rubbing from shaft to base with a sticky shick-shick noise.Â
âI gave you an answer,â he mocks, ignoring the tightness in his stomach when gazing at your teary eyes. So pretty.Â
Wordlessly, your free hand that isnât pinned by Blade trails from his scalp to his napeâand you pull him into you so your lips meet his, scorchingly so.Â
âNghââ he groans into the kiss, practically feeling his climax build up. He forces it downâtoo preoccupied in filling you up at the right time, not now.Â
âAeons,â he mutters as he pulls away, and thereâs a grin on your lips he wants to wipe off.Â
âDoes that count?â
He lost this time, but the sight is worth it.Â
With a greedy pang of his heart, he pulls his pelvis back until just his shaft remains hooked in your wallsâyour eyes widen, and this time itâs his turn to smile.Â
He slams back in, and the long moan you let out is almost angelic.Â
âFuck, fuck,â you sob out as he drills into you over and over; tacky skin meets tacky skin with a perverted plap-plap, and he doesnât think heâs ever felt so euphoric.Â
He can feel it on his face: an adoring, almost fanatic look hazing his once-clear red eyes.Â
And still Iâd wait, Styx cradling me in its miasma.
He wants you.
#blade#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr drabble#drabble#fic#x reader#slowd1ving#res ïœ„ïŸ writing#blade x reader#yingxing#blade hsr#hsr blade#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#blade x you#blade x y/n#res ïœ„ïŸ snippet#smut#blade smut#male reader
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Thoughts ab clingy bf new? Esp trying to distract when playing games?
(shh i want more chanhee content i love him)
im ripping my hair out U ALWAYS SOMEHOW KNOW WHAT TO ASK TO GET MY BRAIN GOING ILY
clingy chanhee thoughts !!
minors dni ; boyfriend chanhee x afab reader ; 656 words
warnings ! established relationship , dom!chanhee , oral (reader rec) , edging , not proofread + lowercase intended :3
chanhee is so ,, im in love with him istg
hes such a tease mostly bc he loves when u get fed up with how distracting hes being n finally snap (but he'll never admit it) but also hes so cute when hes clingy ,, how can u say no to a pretty boy like him ? (spoiler : u cant)
he'll literally do anything in his power to distract u especially when ur playing games bc why don't u just play with him ? he rlly doesn't get it !!
if ur sitting on the couch while playing, he'll sit next to u at first, n then when he realizes u have no intention of paying attention to him he'll lay his head on ur lap, one of his pretty delicate hands (i love chanhee's hands btw aaaaa im crazy aaaa) squeezing ur thigh from time to time.
you'd call his name out a few times as a warning, your eyes never leaving the screen as chanhee pouts bc u r literally so mean! he keeps raking his brain for an idea to get ur attention as he plays with the hem of ur shirt, the tips of his fingers brush against your sides and making you shiver, but still not giving him your undivided attention.
thats when chanhee has the best idea ever.
"can i eat you out?" he asks casually, as if hes asking what movie u should watch later tonight, or what's for dinner (for you? who knows! for chanhee? you, apparently) that wasn't funny sorry
chanhee's mission is successful, as you pause your game and slowly put the controller down to your side, giving him an incredulous look while he smiles innocently at u.
"what?"
"i said," he sits back up, one hand still on your waist "can i eat you out?"
you know this is where it would eventually go. yet you can still feel your face heat up in embarrassment, as if chanhee isn't literally your boyfriend and he hasn't seen you in far more compromising situation than eating u out in the couch.
"yeah," you finally say once you manage to break out from the initial shock. chanhee is ecstatic, leaving a quick kiss on ur lips before getting on his knees on the floor and tugging impatiently at your shorts and underwear to take them off of u in one go.
he's so eager, and has been acting needy and clingy for the whole past hour or so, you really don't expect him to start teasing you out of nowhere, when hes so close to getting what he wants. so that's exactly what he does, catching u off guard. you're kind of mistaken, chanhee doesn't want to eat u out - i mean, ofc he does, he loves going down on u everytime he has the chance, but that's not his main goal at the moment! he wants your undivided attention, so ofc he'll drag it out as much as possible.
he starts leaving kisses along your thighs, so slowly you feel like you're actually about to go insane, chanhee takes his time with you even when you're whining his name and asking him not to tease you, trying to grab his hair to pull him closer to you just for him to wrap his free hand around your wrist and pinning it to your side.
even when he gets to actually eating you out, hes such a tease abt it :(( giving kitten licks to your clit and poking your hole with his tongue until you're a shaking mess bc the stimulation is just not enough for anything! but it's only fair after u were so mean to chanhee n ignored him, no?
but dw! sooner or later he'll get tired of teasing, satisfied bc he thinks u got what you deserved, and he'll start to properly eating you out, so messy n sloppy as he fucks you with his tongue until you cum .
(me after writing like 11 paragraphs leading up to the smut n only 2 paragraphs of actual action)(do not question my vision im a writer im an artist im simply above all judgment /j)
#đ° seongminiz !#đ tbz !#'i dont feel like writing' mfs when choi chanhee exists#the boyz hard hours#the boyz smut#chanhee smut#tbz smut#tbz hard hours
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I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE
(A/n: Lil prompt i found, Calcharo has me on a choke hold.Literally. This is f!reader x calcharo....hope u enjoy this)
Calcharo the leader of the Ghost Hounds, a multinational mercenary group. I met Calcharo totally as an accident, him saving you from a group of exiles surrounding me, harassing for something i have even forgotten at this point.
Calcharo being a very stoic and 'no talk unless needed' kinda man was really hard to get along with at first. But i was adamant to befriend him. Showing up with him to businesses, trying to talk with him; those tactics eventually got through his hard shell.
The only way he decide to acknowledge my efforts was when i said i wanted to join hos group, he was strictly against that, saying "if you want protection i am here for that, i dont want you to join my group to have protection or to befriend me. If you want to become strong i'll teach u to become stronger, and i will befriend u if you want a friend. But i dont want you to be a mercenery just for those reasons, you have a bright future in front of you". Those were his words.
Its been quite sometime since that day, Chalcharo and i were closer than ever; he was still the grumpy, stoic man, and i was the same ball of sunshine. His group members were quite shocked at first when i was able to befriend the hot yet scary looking man. And seeing him laugh, left like was as if spring is here.
It was no news that slowly your feelings for him turned romantic. The way he protects me from harm, the way he looks after me, even when he scolds me when i did something stupid and put myself in harms way making him worry, or when i just did something cringey cute to make him laugh.
My little heart slowly started falling for the grumpy tacet holding man. So one day i decided to pick up the courage and just express my feelings, you entered their base greeting whoever greeted me until i reached Calcharo, sitting and doing some work, and hearing him sigh.
"Hey there big guy, whats wrong?" Saying as i placed my chin over his head while standing behind him. "Ughh its nothing just paperwork, whats up lil girl, what r u doing here today?" He said groaning and letting down his pen and taking a hold of my hand and pulling me beside him beside the desk, while keeping a hold on your hand.
"Well, i ...uh....i wanted to tell you something" you somehow managed to speak up, nerves getting a hold of you. "Are you okay?? Are you hurt? Is everything alright?" Calcharo immidiately stood up, alertness and worry visible in his eyes clearly, ready to destroy anything. "Am okk Cal, its not that serious, actually. Am good am great. Trust me." I said gripping his hands tighter in mine. "Okk then, go ahead and tell me what you have on your mind then".
"I have started to have feelings for you, its been some months since i started feeling this way, and you have been on my mind alwa - mmmph" before i could finish my speech of how i fell in love with him, soft pair of lips captured mine, making me stop mid way. "I'm so happy am not the only one" i heard Calcharo say in between the kiss, which turned more rushed and passionate as we both realised our mutual liking to each other.
His one hand grabbing on top my waist, the other on the back of my neck, my arms wrapped around his neck and fingers tangled in his beautiful long white hair. The kiss turned feverent, until we both ran out of breath, pulling away we placed our forheads together, panting yet smiling. Holding my face in his hands, he placed a tender kiss on top of my forehead. Doing the same thing, i placed a kiss on his forhead where his tacet mark lies.
"I was waiting for this for so long, from now on i will always keep you safe. No harm will ever come to you" he sealed his words with a kiss.
A/N: Anddddd were done with the story...its a bit weird probably cuzzzz its been so long since i wrote something and idk why but i cant make stories...like the brain juice is not working properly....and also i have exams from the 13th...which is really like after few days...its a pain. But i hope u enjoyed it....luv you byeee. Stay hydrated and happy readingâĄâĄ
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Okay I cant -- I need to say it out loud.
I am 100% sure, at this point, you are my favourite artist so far. And I have to honestly thank you for a lot of stuff so let me get to the point before my anxiety takes me back --
I came across you less than a month ago. I don't remember if I saw your art before reading your fictions (Mon Horrible CherĂŹ was my first) or the other way around, but both inspired me so much I can't describe it properly. Art itself is my absolute weak spot. In my past years I always struggled working on that, I was never happy with my results, and mostly had drawn to pay bills than for my own happyness. In the end I hated it at the point that every line I drew was a cut on my hand instead of a moment of joy. And that was horrendous.
But then I came across your art, at some point - and I was amazed. Your style is something I wished to achieve years ago, or very similar to that at least, so I was totally into looking for more, and more, and more. I can't produce art of that quality, but for the first time I wasn't envious of another artist's ability and talent, I was just... Amazed. I felt very happy, can't say why, but your style totally fascinated me. It still do. Anytime you post something new it gives me a shot of serotonine, it makes me feel happy and inspires me to get back on my Huion and draw something too. I started to push it through everyday, and in less than a month I grew a lot. You don't know that, but you pushed me into art with a passion I didn't had since I was 16, and I turned 30 couple months ago. Now it gives me joy everytime I draw. It doesn't matter if the art I produce is no good, or if I change my style everytime (I'm trying a lot of styles right now), the only thing that matter is the way I feel when I sit here and just let my inspiration go. And I feel happy. Happy to draw. Happy to experiment. Happy to share. Somehow I don't feel ashamed of my art anymore, and I was for a long time. I improved so much in these weeks. I watched carefully almost all of your timelapses (I am in love with all of them btw) and followed your tutorials more than once. Your examples, the way you work, is just inspirational for me. I've seen someone was thankful to you for the way you use references and says people out there to do it too: I want to thank you for that too. References was a taboo until last month for me, and I was SO wrong! Those helps so much!
So, well. I am not sure I wrote this all correctly, english is not my native language (I'm italian) and I may have done some mistakes, well, I do not care. I just hope I was able to express you my gratitude for all you did for me - I had to let you know how much this means to me everyday.
Oh also: I love every part of your art, but I could stare at your linearts for days and never get bored by that. And the way you color! Don't make me start on that. I could speak for hours. Not sure you'll want that, believe me.
So, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for making me believe in myself again. Thank you for giving me back my passion. Thank you for reminding me everyday I can draw for myself, for my own happyness. And thank you for making me happy.
You are a great artist.
Thank you! <3
i put off replying to this because i wanted to draw you something, but i just haven't had the energy after work and dont want u to think im ignoring you đ
but i dont have WORDS. i'm so fucking proud of you. i'm so happy for you. browsing your blog and seeing the sheer amount of art and AUs you're making is so inspiring. your happiness is contagious and i hope you only continue to grow, and continue to foster all that joy for art.
thank you <3
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EEEEEEEE SO MANY FICS FOR OCTOBIE I CANT WAIT TO READ THEM ALL AFTER THE EVENT>:) Rooh afza is a drink! It's sweet rose syrup usually mixed with water or with iced milk- it's very good for hot days! Daily Hobie HC! Week four, day four Hobie held your bat body gently in his large palms, your fuzzy head peaking out of the ball his hands made to hold your body. He chuckled, shifting your body gently to one hand as he took the small witches hat from the table and dropped it onto your head. He pressed it down slightly, which went over your ears and made you look oddly adorable. Hobie let out a laugh at your defiant chirping, trying to tamp the urge to squeeze you out of pure cuteness aggression. Hobie had managed to find an entire box of Halloween decor, which was taken out for the occasion now of being close to the 31st of October. Inside the box, there were many types of decorations, from simple black and orange tinsel to little hanging lanterns. You flew up to Hobie's shoulder, your claws holding onto his sweater as he picks up a large string of tinsel from the box. Hobie chuckled upon hearing your excited words, which translated into chirps as you dove into the box, wriggling around to seemingly retrieve something. He rested the tinsel on his shoulders like some fluffy, fancy scarf, looking around to try find a good place to put the tinsel up. Eventually, he opted for the lining of the door, using his webs to seamlessly stick it onto the doorframe. You were setting up the interior decorations, with your little bat claws carrying a large, clear bloody sheet up to the window. Hobie chuckled, leaning against the couch as he watched your struggle before hearing your loud, chirping complaints. He quickly made his way towards you, taking the sheet from your claws and sticking it properly onto the window, removing the creases to fully give out the effect of bloody handprints. Hobie hung up a few rubber bat accessories from the ceilings, while you somehow lifted up the lanterns to hang at the front of the door. The most difficult decor to put up, were the spiderwebs. The moment you picked a bundle up, you were tangled in it, squeaking as your form of laughter and squirming as Hobie detangled you, teasing you about your gracefulness. You retaliated by nipped at his fingers, before flying up to the crook of his neck to pout, rubbing your head against his neck affectionately. Hobie receives your forgiveness with some loving pets and the promise of a kiss after the decorating is done. You watch from your perch as he hung up the spiderweb, unable to stop yourself from rubbing your fuzzy cheek against his warm skin, which Hobie finds slightly ticklish, but god forbid he tell you. Finally, once the houseboat had been properly Halloween-ified, you fly down to the ground in front of him, a black mist shrouding you and revealing your true form. Hobie wastes no time placing his hands gently on your hips and pulling you closer to him, letting your head rest against his collarbone for a few moments, his fingers playing with the tips of your hair before cupping your face. He gently pressed his lips against yours, a smile curving his lips ever so slightly as he gives you, your promised kiss. As he pulls away, Hobie's smile turns into a mischievous smirk, proof you'd fallen into his trap. Quickly, he wraps his arms around you and begins to pepper sweet, fluttering kisses all over your face until you laughed, giving you a final, slow one to your forehead before chuckling along with you. -đŠââŹ
I hope u like them! Ooh that does sound delicious!!
Daily Hobie HC â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
Looks like it's R's turn to be a bat menace!
The little witch hat đ„șđ„ș
Imagine if Hobie follows his intrusive thoughts and squeezes r like a stress ball đ€Łđ€Ł kind of like this with their eyes popping out too đđđ
Ah yes the good old tinsel scarf!
Lmao R is making it harder for themselves by staying in bat form
Nooo r no biting!
Now I can't help but imagine a tiny but incredibly annoyed bat all tangled up in fake webs lol (all the while hobie tries to stop laughing)
And they did this all while listening to monster mash!
So freaking cute đ„șđ„șđ„șđ„°đ„°
#ask answered#chatting with lovelies#hobie thoughts#hobie headcanons#daily hobie hc!!#octobie#octobie halloween#octobie'24#đ«¶đ«¶đ«¶#đŠâ⏠anon
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GUESS WHAT BITCHES KANGSAILOM HAVE KISSED AND NOW ITS TIME FOR ME TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK BECAUSE OF THEM, ALL OVER AGAIN (im so hoping it doesnt take me 2-3 hours to watch this episode again but it honestly probably will)
NO
I KNEW THE FRIKIN BACK PAIN THING WOULD COME BACK INTO PLAY
ISTG IF THESE BITCHES KILL HER THEY'LL ALL HAVE HELL TO PAY
NOT MY GRANDMA MILF GODDESS QUEEN SHIP-CAPTAIN
NOT ON MY WATCH
NOT ON MY WATCH
PFFFFFFFFT
oh honey
he's desperately pleading, he wants to tell him but he doesnt want to say it, he wants sailom to know what he's thinking and what he feels and what he wants and what he needs, but he still doesnt understand his own feelings and thoughts and desires
why did you kiss me? why aren't you talking to me properly? why are we here, in this locker room? why do you like me? do you like me? why can't everything be simple?
all condensed into a simple word
and he's avoiding eye contact, he cannot look at kang and he will not look at kang but it's not like it used to be, where he wouldn't look at kang because kang didn't deserve the respect, where he would only look at kang to smile and laugh at him because he doesnt fear him, no this time he wont look at him because he's afraid. afraid of the answer, afraid that he's wrong, afraid that he's right
AND HE WIPES HIS MOUTH
AND KANG IS WATCHING THE WIPE SO ATTENTIVELY
he sees sailom wipe his lips, rid himself of their kiss, rid himself of this conversation and of the fears and thoughts and questions and confusion, and kang just wants him to know what he feels but he doesnt know what he feels and the best he could put it was through that kiss, and kang had to watch as sailom removed any trace and feeling of it from his mouth
ouch
LOOK AT HIM
YOU CAN SEE HIS SWIRLING HURTING THOUGHTS
perth and chimon are both such astounding actors I cannot fathom them
PLENTY MORE CHANCES TO TALK TO EACH OTHER PROPERLY WHEN YOU'VE FIGURED OUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR MIND AND HEART
is this not post-patpran-rooftop-kiss-scene
its literally exactly the same
THE LITTLE LIP BITE I CANT
its the small little nuances and facial expressions and tiny reactions and thoughts communicated on their faces
is nuances the right word to use there? idk, it's fine
LMAO IM-
WAIT SO THIS QUESTION IS POPPED AT THE START OF THE EPISODE??? DAMNNNNN
MAN HE'S GOT A WAY WITH WORDS
and I mean that genuinely
WEAR YOUR SEATBELT BITCH, WHAT THE HELL
WHY IS NEITHER OF THEM WEARING THEIR SEATBELT
GUYS
DRIVING IS DANGEROUS
ITS A HIGH-RISK ACTIVITY
AND YEAH MAYBE A TINY STRIP ACROSS YOUR TORSO DOESNT SEEM LIKE IT DOES MUCH, BUT IT'S STILL BLOODY IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT COULD BE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BONK AND A SPLATTER IF YOU CATCH MY MEANING
SEATBELTS ARE IMPORTANT FOLKS
WEAR THEM
Y E S
HE OPENED THE FRIKIN DOOR
LETS GOOOOOOOOOO
are we finally gonna get the scene ive seen in the end credits so many times and die every time I see it where they're lying in bed together and smiling at each other and ghkerbgjksdb
FUGWE9JOGSBNVPIWEKGNPIVWEKNMSDGPOVKNERIPKDNGPBIVKERVLNDPOGIKNVEPORILKSNDGPBVOIKERNMD-OFPSGKJBVEPS
OML THE HITTING ON HIM SAGA/MONTAGE
THESE PARTS ARE ALWAYS SOME OF MY FAVOURITES
AND THESE TWO GOT TO IT A LOT FASTER THAN MOST OF THE OTHERS IVE SEEN GEUIRJGBKSD
GOUEWBJDSG THE BLOW KISS
HE'S SO UNASHAMED
IM LOSING MY MIND
THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE DREAMED FOR
HOLY FRICK I LOVE HIM
THIS IS AMAZING
IM SOBBING FROM HOW HARD IM LAUGHING
I CANT GET OVER "ill eat you then, because I like you" LIKE DAMN BRO THAT WAS SMOOTH AND MY MIDNIGHT BRAIN SOMEHOW DIDNT SEE THAT VERY OBVIOUS FLIRT SETUP COMING AND I LOST IT
HIS HAPPY LITTLE SMILE OMG I CANT
fR I C K
it's okay it's okay, she just has a bad hip, she's not gonna die I swear she's not gonna die
also can we just take a moment to honour the mesh shirt kang's wearing?
savour the moment a bit longer...
let the moment of appreciation last...
okay that is all thank you for joining me in worship
A L S O let's just think about this. im guessing grandma and dad and that nurse are all going to the hospital.
whICH MEANS the two gay-ass teenagers who are gay-ass specifically for EACH OTHER are gonna be home alone in a huge-ass mansion for a while
I wonder what they could possibly spend their time doing
what are you eating, sailom đ
THE HAND RESTING ON HIS SHOULDER
BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOUR MAKES A COMEBACK
THE EYEBROWS-- I CANT
they're really channelling the patpran this episode
and im so happy about it
"just go straight" lmao good luck with that one buddy
breaking news: it comes as a shock to absolutely no one: quodekash has, once again, run out of images. a new post will be made for your enjoyment shortly (but it wont be posted for at least an hour because I cannot watch things at a normal pace and the post wont be posted until I either run out of images or finish the episode, whichever comes first)
#quodekash disregards sleep because of dangerous romance#dangerous romance#dangerous romance series#dangerous romance the series#kangsailom#kanghansailom#sailomkang#sailomkanghan#perthchimon#chimonperth#perth tanapon#chimon wachirawit
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I absolutely need to share this with you !! I donât know what sparked this thought butâŠ
Imagine bf Gunil who comes home early one night to see you and his supposed best friend Jungsu fucking! Youâre petrified, knowing damn well how wrong it was when you first started!! But you couldnât help it!! Not when Gunil has been coming home so late lately⊠and Gunil was always one call away, it was so easy. Heâd bring some food, long forgotten after the two of you started making out almost maniacally. And before you even realized he was pressing you into the bed and fucking you with erratic thrusts and heavy pants; his mind not even on the fact that this is his best friends girlfriend!
Gunil just stands in the door for a second, but heâs honestly not surprised. He knows youâve been neglected and while heâs not shocked, he is pissed. When you and Jungsu notice his presence not long after, youâre immediately getting teary eyed, sobbing about how sorry you were. Jungsu is biting his lip not knowing what to say or do as his hands pry you away regretfully. Gunil keeps his words blunt and short, voice laced with venom you could practically feel spill into the air, âYou fucking slut⊠fucking my best friend,â Gunil is glaring at Jungsu, who is sitting at the edge of the bed now, wincing at the sound of your boyfriends footsteps, âYouâre not even doing it right.â
And Jungsu watches in amazement and almost glassy eyes as Gunil unbuckles his work pants and belt, taking his cock out and bullying it into your cunt with little friction. You moan past the sobs as Gunil begins a steady pace, hands in your hair as he growls out, âCanât even fuck her properlyâ fuck, sheâs squeezing me so good,â and Jungsu is absolutely flabbergasted!!! But his cock is still aching to be touched and your moans sound so pretty, sweet little whines of Iâm sorry going straight to his dick⊠so he canât help it if he starts palming his cock to the sight of your boyfriend fucking you.
âDumb girl, arenât you?â Gunil would groan into your ear at the immediate response to his words, your cunt fluttering desperately at his deep, yet somehow dry tone, âIâm gonna remind you who you fucking belong to. Who do you think you are going around letting anyone put their dick in whatâs mine, hm?â
AGAHAHHAHA OKAY OKAY BYE IM DOING TOO MUCH I CANT STOP THINKING AB THEM BOTHđ«¶đ»
YOU ARE SO BAD FOR THIS đđđ
thinking about how gunil would slam so hard into you while pressing your legs into your chest literally till your knees reach your ears, forcing you to tell him everything you and jungsu did behind his back down to every small detail. itâd be a nightmare.. a hot one, but still such a torture cause youâre not able to use your voice from his pounding that brings your orgasm rapidly closer, and on top of that jungsu is right there jerking off at the sight. âand how did he that, huh? how did it feel?â he asks after you share a new way that his friend was touching you until you got caught. your voice is trembling from arousal, embarrassment and overstimulation as gunil doesnât stop after you cream his cock, oh no.. youâre definitely gonna have to endure some more after what you did. heâll keep getting more and more orgasms from your dirty body, and youâll not stop telling the story all over again until he decides itâs enough. he wants to hear how you choke on your words and get so fucked out that you donât know how to use them anymore
#đ: xhdream inbox#â jeongin-lvr#moots <3#xdinary heroes hard thoughts#gunil hard thoughts#jungsu hard thoughts
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embarrassingly genuine of me to have this on main but. u ever care for someone so much itâd somehow feel odd to ever put any label or word on it. care or like or love or even adoration doesnt really do bc they never tell the whole story yk? same with anything else really, saying u feel a deep fondness for someone or trying to convey the specific type of warmth u get from them just leaves u sorta gesturing aimlessly n pretty frustrated bc what do u Mean i cant get others to understand that ache in my chest when i think of them thats not even really an ache n. again, u get stuck trying to say this or that n it never cuts it, even if ur the most well spoken person on the planet if u dont find urself suddenly becoming an ineloquent mess ovr trying to describe someone u hold dear in ur heart, r u really doing it right? anyways long ass winded way to say im immensely enjoying my wonderful day out on this v special occasion w my one n only husband rex (âwell arent u only engaged?â shove a sock in it u dont get itđ). gen feeling like the luckiest person on this forsaken rock bc HOW did i get someone as amazing n genuine n perfect as this, aka three words that don't even begin to describe who he actually is because the dictionary is sorely lacking when it comes to this. honestly just someone tht gets me wanting to desperately live out tht fantasy of opening up ur fave person n crawling inside n living right next to their bloody beating heart bc even when ur right beside them its Still not enough. its tht feeling u get when u meet someone n when u get to know them one day ur suddenly hit with the realization of "wow. this was my missing piece all along!!" because i truly feel evryone is born w a person shaped hole in them n life is just one long journey of finding them n finally being able to feel whole at the end of the day. am i being corny w the whole "u complete me" bit? maybe but i think im beyond caring abt that now LMAO. truly something else tht i was able to find my person this early on n im just over here always wondering what the hell i did to deserve someone as lovely n charming as this. watch me pull out a whole list of his good qualities n the paper just keeps unraveling n fills up the entire room im in. n i could do this embarrassing schtick all day baby. i love u when ur gone i love u when ur here i see u in everything no matter what, n truly evry day of misery was worth it bf this since it meant it was all just leading up to meeting u, etc etc. n still none of this rlly even covers it, ive been a writer for years n this whole thing is me realizing u are the one thing that stumps me, someone who ill never be able to put into words properly<3
happy bday mlđ«¶
#hope this has sufficiently proved im the most insanely humiliating down bad lovergirl this world has ever seen thank u and goodnight LMAOO#n if u see me rb 234200+ devotion esque web weaves after this.. no u didnt
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first period was free for me cause no teach and i wrote and wrote a whole 2k words
but my laptop wont turn on rn. i wanted to write a bit during lunch cause im feeling inspired but it wont turn on
at the end of first period when i put it up it had 80% charge, and when i shut it, it rarely loses much power. I've done this a ton
when i get home im gonna plug it in and hope that somehow it didnt close and its just dead. cause. i dont know how im gonna deal with ptentially losing everything on it
i cant. i backup my fics to google drive every now and then but i havent recently. so much work...if it never turns back on and i cant recover the files the parahumans au is never getting written because im getting close to finishing the first chapter and losing EVERYTHING
urk. i hope im overeacting. when i put my laptop up i was in a hurry and i might not have shut it properly. and it wouldve been on long enough to die. but if not...
please please just be dead and i can charge it when i get home
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hi mimi! i've been wanting to write you something since chapter 12/13 but so so much has happened that i couldn't sit with my thoughts but i really wanted to share something so here's an attempt! đ
i read chapter 12 when i was on the way from seoul to manila â i recorded the whole thing on my camera just so i can look back at my commentaries (and see how much of a crying mess i was) â was extra special then because i was coming back home from a quick and fun trip to korea!
and then, i read chapter 13 when i was on the way back to seoul! đ
again, i filmed myself reading the whole thing đđ
for both cases, i had mahika by tj monterde on repeat bec i saw someone comment about it here and i must say, it's the perfect song for iwyts! jk and oc! i was crying the whole time đ„č somehow, it didn't feel like it was on loop?
for context, i tend to record myself (through audio or video) when i consume stuff that i love bec i just love looking back at my reactions and commentaries â i wish i can share them here but i was literally a crying mess in the plane so maybe next time? đ
i dont think i can ever write about the feelings i had while reading the latter chapters SO I WILL JUST VIRTUALLY SCREAM for now (AAAAAAAAHHHHH SO MUCH KILIG AND SO MUCH HAPPY TEARS) â IWYTS is so so good and it gave me so much comfort for those few months so I'm really really thankful. i love reading and i love that you shared this wonderful piece with the world! đ„čđ i hope you're having the best time of your life, resting and having fun post-iwtys!
lastly, i wanted to write to you now (even if i haven't had time to properly verbalize my feelings post-iwtys) because i discovered this new song from another opm artist, The Ridleys â thank you to my spotify dj for putting this on shuffle! It's called KYGM (apparently it's an acronym for Kiss You Good Morning) AND OH MY GOD my iwtys heart jumped in joy :") it's so perfect for iwtys! jk and oc given how their mornings were sacred then as boss-assistant and even more now that they're a couple! i hope you don't mind me adding the entire song lyrics here (i couldn't choose bec i felt like each line were fitting)
[verse 1] the sunlight has come to brush your cheek but iâll ask him nice not to wake you lie a few minutes asleep in my arms (HEEEEELPPPPP THIS IS LITERALLY THEM?????)
[verse 2] two souls made one on endless sea flowing ethereal and earthly the joy on your lips is so different today
[pre+chorus] no, i wonât throw this away
[chorus] âcause ten years from now, weâll look back at the photographs happy with the choice that we made and iâll kiss you good morning for every morning you stayed
(i know there is a part 2 coming but i just know and i trust that their story will end on a good note and i cant wait for their future together đ„čđ„čđ„č)
[verse 3] if life were a maze and weâre both lost then why donât we get out together? if this is a puzzlĐ” then letâs try to solve it (no words.... convinced the ridleys wrote this song for jungkook and oc)
[verse 4] i know my mindâs a tanglĐ”d mess that you want to untangle together so cut all the metaphors and letâs dance
(again......... this song was made for them đđđ)
[pre+chorus] no, i wonât leave us to chance
[chorus] âcause ten years from now, weâll look back at the photographs happy with the choice that we made and iâll kiss you good morning for every morning you stayed
[bridge] donât you know what i would do oh, just to keep you beside me iâd give you the moon if i could
(it's giving iwyts!jungkook)
[pre+chorus] ten years from now, weâll look back at the photographs happy that we made it this far oh, i swear that weâll make it wherever we are
(after everything theyve been through OH MY GOD literally crying raynao)
[chorus] i know ten years from now weâll be laughing and crying through all of the memories weâve made and iâll kiss you good morning for every morning you stayed
[outro] i hope youâd stay just stay
(chef's kiss)
ok that's it, i think this message is too long! i'll make sure to properly sit with my thoughts so i can give more kwentos about what i felt reading the latter chapters! thank you so much again, mimi and again, i wish you the best time of your lifeeeeee and really just, happiness! you deserve it! đ„čđ sending you love and hugs!!!!
Hiii Iâm sorry it took me awhile to get to this! Iâm so happy you got to have that trip! đ but thank you for having IWYTS as your companion during the travel hehe and like, recording yourself while reading?? Thatâs so interesting! How do you do that on a plane!! But ahhhh curious what your reactions were hihi although I get the crying bc that would also be me haha
There were so many emotions in those 2 chapters!! And đ«Ą to the Pinoy music that hit us in the feels. And KYGM? Girl this line:
iâll kiss you good morning for every morning you stayed
This is just đ«Ł season 2 will make it hurt and heal
Thank you for sharing this with me! I love hearing what you guys end up thinking about when reading the chapters đ„čđ„č Iâm just happy it could give you joy! The comfort with them as a couple is rly different so Iâm glad you felt that, too.
Iâve been exhausted with everything but Iâm getting my rest! Iâm spending today just in bed so thatâs good. I hope youâre doing well đđ sending toh so much love!!!
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cant bilive 50% people hate hiadt magnus and the fic isnt even out yet. can we get a soft magnus snippet?
The second Alec hits the bed, he falls asleep in an instant.
It had been a particularly difficult day, full of casualties and his heart felt so heavy and hopeless.
Alec knows that he canât save everyone but every patient that he loses feels like a personal loss.
And the day isnât over yet.
Heâs still on call which is why he decides to take a nap in the on-call room, even though all he wants to do is go home and crawl into his own bed, into his husbandâs arms and sleep.
But Magnus isnât on call today. Heâs at home, probably taking a long bubble bath in their massively big tub.
Before he can ponder more over the events of the day, his eyes droop low and he falls asleep.
He doesnât know how long it is before thereâs some light from outside, indicating that someone else entered the room.
Alec groans slightly and turns, smashing his face in the pillow to avoid the light.
The lower bunk where Alec is laying dips slightly and then there are strong arms surrounding him, pulling his back closer against the chest and Alec lets out a soft sigh at the familiarly of the body.
âMagnus?â He asks sleepily.
âHi, sweetheart,â Magnus replies and places his hand over Alecâs stomach.
Alec frowns and turns in his arms. It takes a lot to open his eyes but he manages somehow.
âWhy are you here? Youâre not on-call today. You were at home.â
Magnus smiles softly at him and cards his fingers through Alecâs unruly hair, âheard you had a terrible day.â
Alec sighs and shuffles closer to the other man and lies down half on top of him, trying to merge their bodies into one.
âHorrible day,â Alec pouts, âBut you didnât have to come. You had a long shift till this morning.â
Magnus pulls up the blanket and covers the two of them properly, knowing that Alec always runs cold.
âThereâs no way I could chill at home when I know that youâre having a bad day. And when I know that I can make it better,â Magnus replies and pushes a hand inside the back of Alecâs scrubs, running soothing circles.
âBut babyââ Alec drags the ending of the word and pouts but Magnus closes the distance and places a soft kiss on his lips.
âJust shut up and sleep, love.â
Alec has been with the man for years and this isnât the first time Magnus is doing something like this way. He always goes above and beyond for Alec but these things still fill his heart with warmth and tenderness.
âOkay.â Alec puts his head back on Magnusâs chest and feels a kiss being planted on his head.
âI love you.â Magnus mumbles.
Itâs another few minutes before Alec whispers.
To Magnus.
To himself.
To the world for bringing the man to him.
âMagnus.â
âHmm?â
âThank you for being here.â
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things about homestuck i have discovered in my reread
terezi is my favourite character and will always be
caliborn is fucking HILARIOUS jesus christ somehow i forgot this (he hasnt got to the misogyny yet that part gets kind of less funny)
dave and karkat kind of ARE that good, regrettably. i feel like we all go through a davekat phase upon first reading and then gradually we get over dave and karkat and move onto other, better pursuits, like vrisrezi fanfiction or space player meta. rereading tho man they are excellent⊠not the most compelling characters of COURSE and really more like babys first analysis in terms of dissecting them, but man they are funny, man their emotional arcs are vivid and well written, man they are hilarious together also (penis ouija. yeah that was funny). coming out as a dave and karkat fan once again
homestuck in general but especially the start of act 6 is INCREDIBLY funny. for some reason i thought act 6 was less funny and more like plot-heavy which i guess it kind of us to an extent cause most of it is now Relevant all the time but oh my god the alpha kids are a trainwreck and its so funny
on the subject of the alpha kids. last time i properly read homestuck i was like 14. i had never experienced being the same age of the alpha kids and now looking back its insane. that is LITERALLY what being 15/16 is like. the romantic chaos the constant miscommunication the way this group of best friends just somehow have so many fucking problems with each other??? and the COMPLEXES. my god
appreciating roxy more this time round than i ever did before she rubbed me a little the wrong way first read i think maybe bc everyone heralded her as like The Unproblematic Alpha Kid when like oh my god she is a fucking MESS but when looking at her through that lens shes fantastic
jade harley should be mean more often. every PASSWORD FUCKASS interaction was an absolute delight. man she should get more page time
vriska is indefensible when u first meet her its so hard explaining to people that shes like The Fucking Best when she spends most of her intro mocking the guy she paralysed for being paralysed. sadly, she still IS the fucking best.
did i mention terezi pyrope is my favourite character ever in anything
i still cant pay attention to anything exile related i'm sorry. i just look at the pretty pictures and skip through it quickly as possible. if they dont have complex psychology and fun conversations idc sorry im a bad hs fan
calliope is both a delight and so wrong like all of the time. reading her i see where all the fandom misconceptions come from. ur not meant to take her word as 100% serious when she says stuff like male/female classes or whatever!! she sees everything through this incredibly binary 2 choice lens like caliborn bc thats literally the life she lives. this is also extra funny i guess considering shes literally kind of meant to represent the hs fandom
LIL HAL <33333333
sorry that so much of this is about the alpha kids im part way into act 6 now
dirkjake so far have not had a single interaction and iirc they never do??? fascinating storytelling since we still have a perfect picture of their dynamic
terezi is characteristically being stupid about vriska again, because she is complicatedly and unwittingly in love with her
DAVEREZI FOR THE FUCKING WIN MY GOD. THEYD NEVER WORK ENDGAME BUT THEY ARE SO FUNNY TOGETHER LITERALLY BFFS. no romance tho just vibes
does rose get confirmed as a lesbian later in the text or is that just a fandom interpretation cause ngl i have seen people harassed over bi rose which is kinda crazy anyway but would be even crazier if its not. an actual canon fact
LE SIGN IS UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED TO MEAN TOO BAD HES GAY YOU OBTUSE DUNDERFUCK from roxy compared to poor dirk calling the word gay antediluvian. man just wants to like jake in peace
honestly everything alpha kid wise is insane lets just. put it there
I MISS VRISKA
terezi is my favourite also have i said that already
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