#i cant finish this one for half a year already :)
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gonna try to post WIPs 👀
#i cant finish this one for half a year already :)#dishonored#delilah copperspoon#illustration#videogame fanart#videogame women#artists on tumblr
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God, this is fucking crazy
So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.
Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?
I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.
I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.
It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.
So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha
#speculation nation#im literally shaking with nerves rn but i want this so so so badly#i remember. how to play. my arms are just so much stiffer than they used to be. and my nails. man im gonna have to trim my fucking nails#at least my left hand. kinda sucks bc i like the polish i have on rn but u cant have any long nail at all for violin.#i need to play two scales of my choosing. ascending and descending in three octaves.#recommended for violin is A C or E-flat major. of course i know A and C but i'd have to look up E-flat. never did much with flats in school#then again i have that One Two Three and a Half rhythm Down. thats how id often warm myself up.#start with the base G string and just do a scale up and down (one octave). go up to the next note. do it again.#again and again until i started running out of room on the E string. & if i was Real motivated maybe id start shifting to continue.#so all id need to do is find the E flat and id be good. it all follows the same pattern.#the harder challenge will be the solo or etude. 2-3 minutes in length. only *one day* to prepare.#i have NO IDEA what id even play. i'll look in my old sheet music to see if theres anything that might work#simple enough for me to relearn on such short notice. and interesting enough to be played solo#(since i was always in orchestras it's not always the best for solo playing. tho i was also first violin section a lot#which is Basically the same as playing solo lmaooo)#if i cant find anything i do have a few sheet music books i could look in. id hate to play smth too simple#but better simple and Right than trying to do something above my current skill level.#which IRKS ME bc once upon a time i was the 4th best violinist in my high school. out of nearly 2k students.#but thats what happens when u go years without consistent practice :p ur arm gets Stiff.#im. still nervous but also thinking about the music is making me EXCITED.#it's going to be a wild time prepping for this thing but itll be over in like 5 mins and i dont even have to worry about Passing#so long as i *do it* i should get into something. i just need to push myself. do it. get out there. *play your violin*#i already cried in a public bathroom for 10 mins today and im feeling emotional Again.#not quite crying emotional tho thankfully. just. i feel like i need to climb onto a rooftop and SCREAM!!!! but like in a good way.#so so so nervous but itll be so so so worth it. i could be in an orchestra again. finally. finally finally finally.#and i STILL NEED TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT.....!!!! hfkahfks today has been. a DAY.#just. keeps going through my head. i could be in an orchestra again. i could be in an orchestra again. at least one more time.
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god i really forgot that every business management professor specifically is the most unpleasant human being alive for no good reason. i have two business classes with like econ and accounting professors respectively and those look fine and then oh my god if i have to go back to this class with this professor i think i might actually kill myself
#red rambles#she's not. *mean*. she is. um. fucking. i think condescendiing is the word#she made us do a kahoot in class on questions we didn't know explicitly because she knew we didn't know them. i hate kahoots#she went through the syllabus like we were children which. fine whatever every professor does that it's why i hate the first class#but she also kept going off topic to give us life advice. never give me life advice ill fucking kill you#im really not sure what else was my fucking problem but i genuinely felt like i was being psychologically tortured#also i have done one of the several assignments for the class already and they're babyshit but its going to be one of my most#busywork heavy classes and she wants us doing discussion questions every fucking week#and i have to download yet another fucking app for her class#and i need it for my degree plan but oh my GOD. i need to get the fuck out of it#im gonna try and find a different session of the class taught by a different professor and switch in#do you know how much i have to hate a class if im willing to eat two entire finished homework assignments to get out of it#eta. i take it with this professor or i take it with a different professor i know and already know i cant stand#who is also going to work us like dogs unlike this prof who is going to apparently treat us like we are 14 years old#i guess its not college if i'm not being forced to experience psychological torment for an hour and a half every couple days lol#ill just have to like eat something before that class and do my best to fortify myself before i go in and turn evil
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It’s Ryuki’s birthday King how are you going to celebrate
by objecfifying him
#cliff finally answers#nil-number#i did already post the sfw half of this sheet im just finishing the other half lol#i wish i could get a cake for him or make one but i cant rn....so second best thing#i also have my closet cosplay from last year but i aint goin anywhere today so ✌🏾 in the closet he shall stay
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ah i could not help myself. checked onk for a detail on the movie arc and ended up rereading the entire movie arc, then bit the bullet and read up to current. not as many chapters as i thought considering how long ago i was "caught up" and that onk is a weekly?? i guess there were breaks. almsot made me think it was a monthly series. with how little there was
tbh if i had waited til the end of the year that would have been perfect. it rly seems like there are not many chapters left. even where i left off tho, it was enough where again i wasn't dying to know what happened next, so i can wait for it to finish if it finishes this year :) maybe spoiler-y rant in tags for past 5-6 chapters
#idk if i have a read tag but will add later if so#i was rly checking for the kana/akane convo at the beach#that both fulfilled me and sucked my soul out of my body for the second time now#i am happy for kana but my poor yuri heart wanted akane to say smth in light to kana essentially saying 'you are my ideal type'#even if kana didn't reciprocate i think it would be amazing for akane's character#if she could acknowledge she may have feelings for kana or could reciprocate if kana actually felt that way#what i rly wanna say tho is the akane fake-out was so good#i already cant recall bc time blurs but when she shwoed up to the miyazaki concert i knew smth was up#bc the past few times shes been at a place has been bc of ulterior motives#but i cant place the timeline now and i dont wanna go at it again#akane said she couldnt make the tokyo concert but that she survived seeing kana perform#so i wonder if the attempted murder happens on the 2nd concert day?#but it made the b komachi performance seem like the gradn finale#like kamiki was watching live and the stabbing took place at the same time#but if ruby already left to rehearse and akane was there then it was miyazaki concert no??????#but then akane saw them oerform so....... day 2??????#also i rly loved the line about 'being born a twin' for a reason that was so gold#i skimmed a lot of the latter half that didnt half to do w the movie directly#but i do remember from the first time how aqua embraced being himself and not gorou and saw ruby as his sister#and was rly truly letting go of his past self to live life (prior to kana date chapter i think???)#and now this/// the current few chapters#really poetic also why i think theyre in miyazaki bc ti aqua#it would be poetic justice for him to die and be reborn and die again in the same (general) place#idk how hes gonna get outta this one but i'll wait and see in ful#also aaaaaa along w the twins line... him wanting to call miyako mom!!!#and ruby's face in that panel was cute#cant decide if it was surprise or joy or both?? but she's in the bg to show some reaction#i hope the end of the year is enough time to finish#if i get bored i might... take a shot at the kana/akane convo of my dreams
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everytime I want to finally draw an oc and get some development in, my brain always makes me unable to visualise them properly as if I haven't had these brainworms since I was 14
#im TWENTY ONE NOW#but noooo i have to make a moodboard so my dumb little baby brain can know what they look like#as if one of them isnt one of the most wettest pathetic loserboys in a collared white button up and wingtips#i literally have to make moodboards for them this is so annoying#last time i opened the oc moodboard file was april this year#im not even halfway done 😭😭#one day ill get this done and then i can actually put them on paper and then NO MORE ILLNESS#ally isaac benedict fiore flynn charlotte im gonna draw u guys one day 🫵 just wait for me#(just realised i have a pretty clear visual of hunter in my head but. he's not even part of my main cast of ocs UGH)#its bc he's so stereotypical like he has messy unkempt hair and a huge ass scar across his nose and its like he doesnt take care of himself#ohmygod i need to make a moodboard of hunter. my main ocs are gonna kill me 🥴#.txt#edit: just remembered one of my ocs outfit inspirations was supposed to be wallace wells (and this was way way back before the anime)#but i never put anything in his moodboard and. oh im so sad i didnt bc comic wallace looked so comfy in winter fit#and i can't find the refs#edit 2: didnt wanna say it but hunter looks like a very messy cellbit in my head (and cellbit is already v unkempt and scraggly)#aight now that ive done a mcyt link i was googling messy anime businessman for benedict refs and#NO JOKE one of the refs straight up look like elmariana it made my jaw drop#LIKE. DOES BENEDICT LOOK LIKE COURT SUIT MARIANA TO ME#I'll scream I'll cry i cant do this today please. let me finish this half completed benedict moodboard#god please dont. dont do this to me benedict is already sad wet and pathetic enough i cant- i can't visualise him looking like qmariana i-
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Local swiftie syndicate is officially on strike.
We were willing to go broke for the concert, we have nothing left for a movie ticket right now.
6k for a movie ticket is fucking absurd. 15k if you want the eras tour popcorn bucket with the seat.
#to give you some perspective a ticket for any other movie right now in the same hoyts chain is 3.4k#which already makes a huge dent to our average middle class' wallets#like i used to be able to go to the movies every other day about 5 years ago#now it's just completely unaffordable and you have to make a conscious decision to save up for one ticket for next month#just think how many meals 6k is!!#it's sad that it's actually about 3 of the cheepest macdonald's combos here#2 dozen of empanadas is worth 6k and you have 2 days worth of food for a family of 3#and i know for a fact she didn't set the price for the movie tickets in Argentina herself#awkwardifying life#id need another 200#270 dollars to finish paying them#15k of our argentine peso is only 20 American dollars. 15000 of our is ONLY 20 of yours#do you fucking get that? my sister who teaches in a multilingual school only gets 50k every month and a half like#and i cant keep a job cause im always traveling on my parents money at their whim and cant find a remote job#like low intensity job that'd allow me to keep going to college and studying#anyway i have my final tomorrow and it's my last chance so wish me all the luck in the world#taylor swift#the eras tour#eras tour#the eras tour movie#eras tour movie#argentina#the eras tour argentina#fucked up the math#okay so back in june 200 dollars was 100000 of our ar peso. today sept 26 200us$ is 155000
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⋆˚࿔⋆。 ゚ ☁︎。 ⋆。little navigation post!! ฅᨐฅ✧。 ⋆。 ゚ ☾ ゚ 。 ⋆
°⋆.ೃ࿔*''knee-deep in the water" comic tags! ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
comic pages and aaaall of the art + sketches!
salamath - "mother said im allowed to have this 2 knives"
shas-hara - big bird with a reputation of hunting people for sport
narine - keeps dodging bullets but would prefer to catch them with a head a couple of times
kuyan - avoided responsibilities by pretending to be dead (surprise, it works)
ayasha - can successfully sell winter jacket in +40C
sino - emo boi who couldnt be fixed
ketla - "bi" in "bipolar"
tiisha - "please lord im only 7" (1/2 main character!)
yata - winks at you but only when you cant notice (2/2 main character!)
°⋆.ೃ࿔*:little faq + about the blog + fanart tags! °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:
₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ so, what im doing here?
im working on the ࣪ ִֶָ☾. knee-deep in the water˚ ೀ⋆。˚ comic!!
oc characters you can find in this blog are mostly all from there, and if not - they are tagged by related fandom!
₍ ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ ₎ how's the drawing process for comic going?
by now i finished half of chapter one, and finished the intro! as soon as it is done i'll start to post pages here and on the dedicated site once-twice a week! script is already almost finished too!
₍ ᐢ. ̫ .⑅ᐢ ₎ do i still make fanart?
yes of course, just less often than before!
i was most active in bg3, tes, elden ring, dishonored and tma fandoms, but now im head and shoulders deep in datv!!
₍ᐢ › ̫ ‹ ᐢ₎ do i take commissions?
almost throughout the whole year! so feel free to send an email on [email protected] - there's 100% chance i'll be free and able to work with you!
₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ where can you see commission information?
on my carrrd!
૮₍'˶· . • ⑅ ₎ა am i open to work on an art trade?
yes!!
♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱ can i do drawings from ask-prompts?
very rarely, when im in the mood!
₍ᐢ. ༝ .ᐢ₎ do i make speedpaints?
even more rarely than prompts, but you can find some in the tags!
₍ᵔ.˛.ᵔ₎ what software do i use? which brushes?
photoshop 2020 + kyle t. webster dry media brushes!
₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡༘ do i sell prints?
nope! im that boring zero-waste person + i live in a country where most related us/european sites are blocked or simply not working without paypal!
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・a little about the artist thingy! °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
if you'd want to support my work - i have boosty (and soon hopefully gonna have a patreon!) where i post speedpaints, early access to pages, sketches and all that!
thank you so much for reading and please dont hesitate to ask stuff if you'll have any questions! ♡
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co-parent bakugou
katsuki bakugou x reader (part two)
fwb! bakugou who often came by your dorm during college to drop off school work when you missed lectures and loads when you missed him.
fwb! bakugou who came by before bed to fuck you into your pillow and listen to your hushed moans, hushed so your roommates wouldn’t hear. (they did)
fwb! bakugou who’s scared of committing because he “couldn’t see you in his future” and was too focused on his.
fwb! bakugou who’s late night visits became more and more scarce.
fwb! bakugou who months later soft launches his new partner on his story after telling you he’s not ready for a relationship.
fwb! bakugou who stops breathing at the sight of your name popping up on his phone as he cuddles his partner while watching movies, and nearly has a stroke at the “Im pregnant.” text.
_____
“well are ya sure it’s mine?” he asks, not daring to look away from you. you break eye contact and look outside the coffee shops’ window to focus on anything other than this conversation you’ve been dreading. “are you serious? you should know i’m not exactly one to sleep around,” you say to the man. he nods and his grip on his mug gets tighter, knuckles visibly whiter. “well, are ya keepin’ it,” he asks, “i don’t think that’d be a bright idea for either of us.” you kind of glare but think over his words. “you know how my parents feel about abortion kats.. i’d be disowned. the second the press found out about it, my family would be done for,” your eyes start to water and a tear threatens to fall, you pause “.. i thought you said you don’t do relationships?”
katsuki stares at you and shakes his head, “those fuckin’ hormones already getting to your brain or somethin?“ he sighs, “you know i can’t do this *nickname*. i’m in a committed relationship with raya, we’re getting engaged next month. on top of that, i can’t be number one with a baby leechin’ of me.” your heart drops, “you’re.. getting engaged? i.. um.. well, congratulations. i’m sorry to burden you with all of this… and i can’t abort it anyway.. i.. i’m too far along.. and i cant do this.” you finish & get up from the table and leave.
________
baby daddy! bakugou who ends up losing contact with you for months after you block him on everything a refuse to meet up per your family’s request.
baby daddy! bakugou who nearly forgets about you years later til kirishima brings you up and shows him your instagram.
baby daddy! bakugou who gets home and stalks you from a burner account, finds out you still talk to everyone from college but him.
baby daddy! bakugou who sees a pretty little ruby-eyed girl down your timeline, her resemblance to him uncanny.
baby daddy! bakugou who pulls some strings and texts your number asking to meet his daughter, hana.
___________
hana is 2 years old by now, forming choppy sentences and now waddling on her feet. after a week of texting, you finally fold and let him come over to meet his daughter. when you open the door to let him in he nearly finds himself choking on his spit at how beautiful you are. you looked even better than your posts, if that’s possible. you greeted him with a nod and invited him in. he takes his shoes off and head to the living room you led him to. you exchange stale pleasantries and small talk til you decide to go get your baby girl. “her name is ‘hana lei bakugou,’ as much as i wanted her to have my last name.”
you walk over to him and hand her to him, noticing the wedding band resting around his ring finger. you scoff, “wow so you two actually got married?” he nods and analyzes his daughters’ features. “shes so pretty, just like ‘er momma,” he half smiles and look up at you. “so i’ll have her back later tonight, gonna take ‘er home to meet the wife and all of that.” he goes to get off the couch. “woah, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to come back back after all this time like nothing happened.” he looks frustrated for a second, “you can’t just- … yea yer right, ‘m sorry.’’
you nod, “how about we go up to her room and play?” he agrees and follows you into his daughter’s bedroom while carrying her.
“So.. how long have you two been in the area?” he asks, scanning his daughter's room. “I never really left, just moved closer to the city i guess,” you reply; putting hana down to the floor. She waddles over to katsuki. “hana, baby this is your father,” you look down at the little girl. At first she looks up at you with her glowing beady eyes then she looks over to Katsuki sitting over on a couch. “papa?” she asks and she points her dainty finger at him. you nod and smile. “yes baby, that's your papa.”
katsuki looks at the little girl and she reaches up for him. “up.” she says, and he obliges. you two talk and rekindle for what seemed to be days. In reality it was just about 4 hours. “*name* it was really nice to see you again, let's go out for dinner sometime. with hana of course.” you lead him downstairs while he says his goodbyes to hana.
--
“I told ya about this years ago raya, you can't be mad about this. What did you expect? for them to disappear?” bakugou yells at his wife. “well i didnt fucking expect you to go out of your way to to reach out either!” she pouts, anger and jealousy laced in her tone. “I have to own up to this responsibility now whether you like it or not, stop fuckin’ cursin’ at me. ‘m already stressed as is; ‘ion need yer bitchin’.”
“oh so now i'm bitching because you went out and got some slut pregnant.. you're just full of it katsuki.” raya says, glaring at him now. “ya cant get mad at me because I wanna be a father, ‘nd not just leave some kid stranded out here.”
“it's not just about the kid is it? do you miss the bitch or something? do you miss the sex? did she give you better head than I do?” raya accuses, bakugou sighs and goes to leave the room, “‘nd yea- she did give better head.” as he walks to their shared room he can hear her still yelling in the distance.
katsuki bakugou goes to sleep confused tonight. He wonders why was he such a prick. he wonders why did his heart pound so fast- why were his hands so sweaty when he saw you.
he couldn't do this. he has a wife. hes happily married, regardless of any arguments. his wife was the mayors daughter and promised him various things, she promised him glory. of course he didn't need her but it's definitely more helpful to have more "support." plus you hated him, only putting up with him for the sake of his daughter. no, it wasn't attraction- it was just nervousness. he loved his wife.
katsuki woke up to his wife, raya in his arms. she looked so pretty and peaceful like this. he snapped out of his daze and got out of bed to catch a shower. he couldn't help but find his hand reaching down to take care of himself. usually when he finds himself touching himself; its of thoughts of his wife from the night prior. but today it was you. he felt shameful but he just couldnt help it. he couldn't stop himself from thinking about you. hes only human.
#lulawrites#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#no proof read#no beta we die like men#im sorry guys#part two soon#fwb series#HIII guys leave feedback or any typos#ive missed writing#bitvh
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Forgotten?
Alec Volturi x vampire mate reader
Summary: Alec has been distant from y/n, will his mate forgive him Warnings: Slight curse words, angst to fluff A/N: You know the satisfaction of finishing a one-shot is beautiful. Im also glad Alec is my second one, love this man of a vampire. Also whenever I write for the twins, they are aged up. Enjoy :)
'''''''''''''''''''🖤''''''''''''''''''''''''🖤'''''''''''''''''''''''🖤''''''''''''''''''''''''🖤''''''''''''''''''''''🖤'''''''''''''''''''''
(This scene is perfect, that eye movement was everything, I could watch this GIF for hours if I could. But like sir who let you look that good?)
I was sitting in the library with Felix and Demetri just talking about our latest mission that the three of us had recently.
“You know the satisfaction I had when I sunk my teeth into that human, she was such a pain in the ass, and it made it better that her vampire mate was watching, but….. I got to say Felix the amount of times I have seen you rip heads off, it's always more satisfying than the last one”
Felix smirks “Thanks y/n, you know it never gets old either and you are right that human girl was annoying, glad she got what she deserve”
Demetri spoke up “I never understood how a human and a vampire can be mates, it's just how can that be you know, like I feel if they ever had intimacy or something that poor human would be dead in a minute”.
We burst out laughing at his comment, “Dem you never fail to make me laugh”
He shrug his shoulders “What can I say it's a talent”
I roll my eyes at his comment and Felix says “Where’s your mate and Jane, I thought you were going to spend the day with him anyway or something”
I said casually with a hint of sadness“I was suppose to be with him today, but he canceled last minute, he said he had to do something important”
Both guys looked at me and Demetri was the first to talk
“More important than you? y/n that's been like the 10th time he has canceled on you this past month, how in the world are you not pissed at him, when was the last time you two spent quality time together?”
I thought about it for a minute trying to remember but then I realized it's been a very long time, maybe a half a decade already. We haven't even had sex in that time either. I looked at the boys
“Um…maybe a couple of years?”
Their eyes widened at that “A couple of years?” they responded in unison.
I nod hesitantly “I didn't even realize it's been that long, son of a bitch, has he been avoiding me or something?”
Felix shook his head in disapproval “You know that's not fair for you y/n, have you even brought that up to him”
I shook my head “I mean I just….You know your right Felix, this cant be going on like this, maybe I should I give him a piece of my own medicine”
Demetri eyes widen like a child who was given a treat“Oooo I like the sound of that”
I smile slightly but then I sense Alec entering the library which causes me to internally panic. I ignored him sitting next to me and instead I went to the bookshelves and looked for a book to read. In the corner of my eye I see that Alec looks at me with a bit of a confused look but then an idea pops up. My power is being able to move things with my mind but I could also telepathically talk to others. I use my power and send a message to Felix to improvise with the upcoming plan I'm about to do.
“Felix? Can you help me get that book that's up there?”
I look at the mountain of a vampire who is instantly by my side. “Of course cara, which one do you want?”
I could see that Alec’s eyes have narrowed at the sudden interaction “That one called Philosophy of Athens”
Felix nods and reaches over me to grab the book and I just look up into his face when he is reaching up, he looks down to me with a devilish smirk and I just wink in return. I knew Alec will be fuming with anger but he deserves payback. Felix hands me the book and he slightly brushes his lips on my jawline which catches me off guard for a minute but I fake an innocent look at him while he just winks and walks back to his previous spot. I stand there for a minute and I see that Alec has disappeared. I look around the library and Demetri speaks up
“He left after Felix gave you the kiss, you should of seen his face, if looks could kill, Felix would of been six feet under”
I roll my eyes and ask “Should I go after him or…?”
Demetri shakes his head “Y/n you got a reaction out of him, you need to keep going so he is the one that comes up to you, he is the one that has been pushing you aside, now it's your turn”
I nod “Your right Dem, this is the start of a new era”. They both smiled mischievously.
1 week later..
It's been a week since the library incident and Alec still has not come up to me, I know the game I am playing is dangerous. I mean come on he's one of the infamous twins who are the most intimidating and ruthless and yet here I am ignoring and pushing him away. It has been so hard to be this way with him, I love him so much that just being like this is torture, I think I would rather have Jane use her power on me then have to be like this with Alec and that is saying something.
On Alec’s part he still is acting the same, he has not even dared to look me in the eye or even been in the same room as me for long. I also noticed that recently I have been aching for Alec more than usual, I literally want him to be with me again, at this point I would take anything from him even if he just looks at me.
I miss his piercing burgundy eyes that always leave me in a trance or how his jawline tightens when I would brush against him slightly. Even to how he stands so elegantly when we are at our guard meetings with the Kings. Or how his smirk can literally make me feel weak in the knees but I would never give him the satisfaction in telling him the effect his smirk gives me because I know he would tease me for years to come. I miss how we cuddle either in our shared chamber or under the willow tree I am currently laying down, it was our spot that we would spend hours at.
I was so lost in thought I didn't even notice someone was calling my name until someone slightly kicked my foot and I finally sat up and snapped my gaze to the person. It was Jane and she had that emotionless look as usual, she was the one to speak first
“Why are you here alone, I thought you were going to train the newborns with Felix and Demetri?”
I was going to do that today but the guys knew I was not feeling it and noticed I am not in a right mindset so they gave me the day off
“They gave me the day off”
She nods slightly “Still does not answer my question”
I look down defeated “He doesn't want me anymore, he won't even look at me anymore or even leave those little love notes in my favorite books”
There was a silence and I thought she left but she talked again “You think my brother does not want you anymore?”
I nodded and if I could cry I would at that moment “He doesn't even come into our private chambers as often”
There was that tense silence again “Have you spoken to him about this?”
I shook my head “How can I when I don't even know where he is half of the time and he wont even come to me anymore, he keeps canceling our date nights also”
At that point I wanted to shake Jane to get her to tell me anything about Alec, I was that desperate but I used my telekinesis to hold me down so I didn't actually jump her.
She spoke up again “I don't know what is up with my brother, he won't say but I can tell there is something wrong, I would assume you would have an idea because when we part ways i thought he would always go to you”
When she said that my gaze snapped up to her again in shock “So not even you know what is up with him then?”
She shook her head and I said “Jane, if I asked you to do something for me would you do it?”
“Of course, you are my sister-in-law after all, your the second person I genuinely like, first being my brother”
I nod “Can you use your power on me?”
I saw her eyes widen at that and she instantly shook her head “No I will never do that to you, why would you ask such a request from me?”
I let an unnecessary sigh out “I don't feel anything Jane, Alec has been distant for a couple of years already, I can feel that sudden small rip in our bond, it hurts Jane, it really does, and at this point I don't think I can even go on in life without him, even when I spend time with Felix and Demetri, I just fake it so they don't question me to much”
She got down on her knees and what she did next would shock others but not to me, she hugged me tightly. I just let her hug me while I just sat there dully, she soon pulled away and said “Y/n I can't bare to see you like this, I haven't even realized that you and Alec have been like this for so long, I don't want to see the two most important people in my life like this anymore”
I don't respond but nod along mindlessly
“Wait here, I will be back”
She left before I can look at her, I decided to lay down again and closed my eyes as I felt my eyes burn with venom, the thing that sucked of being a vampire is not being able to let real tears out, I just feel this burning sensation in my eyes but I haven't felt like this in centuries already. Alec has always made me feel loved and happy, the way that man with only just a touch has me melting for him or when he did those rare smiles I love so much. If I had a heart it would be beating out of my chest every time we are together.
When me and Alec were told we were mates by Marcus, we absolutely loathe each other, we could barely be in the same room without one of us getting annoyed by the other. It took us a good year until we started to tolerate each other. Soon after that year I started to feel the bond with him, I couldn't stand to be away from him for long and I knew he felt the same way because the minute we were apart he or I would go search for the other.
One day he decided to take me on a walk in the gardens, and as cliche as this might sound he kissed me under the moonlight. The moonlight was literally on us when we were kissing, at that moment me and him accepted each other completely as mates. We were inseparable, we started to share a room together and the Kings were more accepting of me and Alec going on missions together without the fear we might rip each other's throats out.
It felt like we were in wonderland or in cloud 9, when he moved I moved, or when I moved he followed along. We also had a very long honeymoon phase where we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves, every time when we were hanging with the other guards, me and Alec would sneak away and have our intimacy or when we were in the hallways he would give me kisses out of nowhere against the wall, we been caught various times but that didn't stop us from doing it again.
We have been mated for centuries, and not a day goes by that I don't fall in love with him all over again or feel tired of him. He really is my other half but with the lack of Alec in my life it has taken a toll on me, it almost feels like HE is sick and tired of me.
Just that thought could break my non-existent heart, I would end up like Marcus in a way. If Alec were to leave me it's way worse than him being dead. I would still have to see him and be in his presence but not be able to actually be with him.
My mind must have wondered again because I didn't realize a certain someone was sitting next to me. I opened my eyes when I realized it was Alec from the pull of the bond. From that I sat up and he looked right at me, watching me carefully and intensely. He still has that stone face that makes him look so gorgeous, he really is the reincarnation of some Greek god. We stayed quiet watching each other for a while when he finally spoke, hearing his voice again would have made me shiver if I could.
“So you and Felix, huh?”
Even though it feels amazing to hear him talking to me, that question threw me off and made me change moods in an instant.
“Seriously? After months and months of not having full conversations or paying attention to me, you have the audacity of asking a question like that?”
He stayed quiet and I could tell his mind was blank because I couldn't hear his thoughts.
“Why would I ever get with Felix when I have a mate that I love deeply? words cannot describe the love I have for you”
That for sure caught him off guard because he blinked a bit from shock and he spoke up
“Just wanted to hear you say that and get a reaction out of you” and then he winks.
That bastard winked and it was so smooth that I didn't even give what he said a second thought, he left me flabbergasted.
“You really are bipolar, you never fail to surprise me after centuries of being together”
He smiles slightly at my comment
“And you don’t fail to amuse me with your words”
“Don't think with your wink and smile will make me forgive you that easily”
“Forgive me? For what?”
The way he genuinely looked surprises at my accusation really did set my mood off
“Are you really asking me that? Have you not heard what I said earlier or noticed the lack of us?”
I saw his facial expression shift to tense “So I was ignoring you then?”
“Obviously, do you remember the last time we went on a date?”
He stayed silent and I knew he was trying to remember and at that moment I can also tell everything that what has been happening these past few years was hitting him.
“Too long ago…”
I nodded “And even then when we made plans you would cancel or say you forgot or are to busy”
He looked down in what I could assume was shame.
“Even if we didn't go on dates, you have been avoiding me like the plague, you don't even look at me as much or even hug me, you can't even bare to be in the same room as me for long, it's as if we are back to when we hated each other before accepting each other as mates all over again but worse”
His mind was still blank
“I have been miserable without you, I even asked Jane earlier to use her power on me because I don't even feel anything anymore”
He looked at me with shock “You really asked her to do that? But…”
“I did, but she refused of course”
He nodded “Cara mia, I been so stupid, I never meant to hurt you in anyway”
I looked at him “If you really never meant to hurt me what made you act like this toward me for so long?”
He took an unnecessary breath “I don't know, I felt like these past years I was feeling…..off, I felt like being away from everyone but I didn't even realize its been going on for a while until Jane came up to me and smack me and ordered me to come to you”
“You could of just came up to me and talked or let me into your mind if you can't form words, I have always been there for you Alec”
He looked at me with remorse and in a soft voice he confessed
“I didn't want to be a burden to you or bring you down with me”
I reached reach for his hand
"Alec you will never be a burden to me, we go together in our darkest or lightest days as we always did in the past, there's no I in us”
He squeezed my hand “I never wanted to make you feel unwanted, I just wanted to figure this out alone but I realize I can't without you”
I nodded, “How could you let so much time go by like that without trying to get help from me or saying anything?”
He shrug his shoulders “We been immortals for so long that time kind of blurs for us in a way but that still does not make up for what I done to you, you are my whole reason for being here, my center and life, mi amore ti amo, I will never to this to you again, and if I do then I give you permission to slap me or something because then I would of broken my promise to you”
“Oh Alec come here” I reached for him and he instantly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his laps to deepen the hug.
Just being in his arms again was the best feeling. I fell in love with him all over again at that moment, he is my reason for being and I would not want it any other way.
A/N: This one was longer than the Felix one (it does not mean I love Felix less 😬) but Its cute. Anyways, Im debating to either do Jasper or Caius next. I have a Jasper one in the drafts but its not that good, I will see who's next.
#the volturi#twilight saga#alec volturi x you#alec volturi x y/n#alec volturi#alec volturi x reader#volturi#twilight fanfiction#twilight imagine#alec volturi imagine#twilight renaissance#volturi fanfiction#volturi x reader#volturi guard#volturi imagines
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BOOKS OF 2024
the list nobody asked for. again <3 i think this time around i read less books than the previous year?? but still 😤 we did it boys we read some fine books. reviews under the cut since i love yapping and i cant be fucked to make a goodreads account
Cromorama - Riccardo Falcinelli this book was sooo cool so engaging so interesting, its a look into the history and science of colors but its also so much more rlly one of my favorite nonfictions of all time
The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells disclaimer I only read this series up to Rogue Protocol, but I enjoyed it, I rlly liked the characters and the worldbuilding and the short novel format and most of all murderbooottt my best friend murderbot. when im in the mood for scifi again ill read the rest asw I prommyy
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong this is one of those books that as u read it you can already tell it will stay with you forever, dont be fooled by the shortness every single line will Kill You. it will kill you dead.
The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida - Shehan Karunatilaka probably my fav book of the year, it's beautiful it's gripping it's deep it's scathing it's irreverent it has a careful and deeply cultural magical surrealism it has sociopolitical satire it won the booker prize of 2022 and deserved it so much
Fuori le Palle! Privilegi e Trappole della Mascolinità - Victoire Tuaillon ill be hoooneestt I didn't find this uhh as groundbreaking as I was kinda expecting it to be?? but still it was a nice read and the "flipped" perspective to center the myth of """masculinity""" in a feminist text was interesting. also rlly pretty cover
Lavinia - Ursula K. Le Guin Ursula girl u did it again! constantly rising the bar for all of us!! another stunning book that sadly fell victim to the #girlboss tiktokification but DONT LET THAT STOP YOUUU its sooo good. bitches Love pre-hellenistic latin society <333 bitches love even more when the boundaries between story and characters and reality and fiction blur in such a masterful way that Lavinia can have a conversation with Vergil and it doesn't feel not even the littlest bit forced or out of place <333
Exordia - Seth Dickinson Went in for the giant snake alien/human toxic yuri stayed for the weird mystery body horror stuff almost left for the overabundance of USA military stuff that I just can't be bothered to care about. I liked it way less than the masquerade but it Does have all the classical elements that make it a Seth Dickinson book aka fucked up women. Imperialism Critique. the horrors. the trolley problem. being Very Long. etc
Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao wow guys. this book fucking sucked. like I'm speechless. you'd think that with the crazy popular rep it has it would have smth worth salvaging but uhhh- anyway go stream cocoon by corrupter which is iron widow if it was actually good
Fire from Heaven - Mary Renault nothing more special than a cultured fujo and her special golden shiny perfumed blorbo that everyone wants to fuck so bad <333 finally a book that healed my tsoa related trauma, the only thing that could've made it better is if hephaestion discovered brat taming
The Spear Cuts Through Water - Simon Jimenez beautiful and with such a dreamy magical atmosphere once again I LOVEEE interwoven stories, and I feel like some of the writing's style Choices are so original. it starts a bit slow tbh but I found it impossible to put down from the second half of the book til the end
Voyage of the Damned - Frances White well. it was a cherished super pretty shiny gift from a beloved friend so that's why I finished it but uh. uhhMMMMM uhghhh whhhhfhhmmm uhhhhh hmmmmm uhhhhh. yeah. I'm iconic 💅
Bad Gays: a Homosexual History - Ben Miller, Huw Lemmey ill be honest I didn't expect to like this book as much as I did but its really nice!! its a critique and analysis of white male gayness told through the lives of some Notable Controversial Homos, and I liked how it rlly paints a full picture not only of their lives but also of the socio-political landscape that shaped them and the concept of queernes of the time. only lil gripe tho is why there was only One woman and One Japanese guy then-
#taking into next year mauriceeee finally!!! rlly excited to read it. and in Italian. needed brain cleanse for all the english otz#also yeah not included in the list the radiant emperor reread 🫡 y’all alr know what i think of it 🫠 what i Went Through#/pos /dead#as alwayyysss besties feel free to suggest ur books im always up for recs <333#it might take me 11 years to get to it but i'll get to it#books#send post
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Meg woke up from her one night stand brushing her hair to the side as she slipped off the bed. She stumbled into the bathroom as she slowly woke up. Splashing some water across her face to speed up the process as she shot back.
"where the fuck did those come from"
She stared at her cleavage. Barely fitting in her already large loose bra. She heffted each cup in one hand weighing them. She twirled for the mirror. Her butt perkier and a bit more round. Her legs a tad but longer and slender. Her torso seemingly strectched.
"am I... Taller?"
Meg continued looking herself in the mirror as she filed through the cabinet below. Finding a take measure as she sprawled it out across the wall.*hic* she bounced in place as her bra strained against her. "Notthe time for this" she muttered as she held her breath trying to get rid of them.
She finished sprawling the measuring tape as she leaned against it marking her height on the wall.
5'3" " that's impossible I was 5'0" even like a month ago. I stopped growing like 7 years ago*hic*
She jumped again. Her legs wobbling under her as she strectched up. Her bra dug into her skin. Meg watched herself in the mirror. "Did her boobs just. Swell"
She heffted them again. They seems heavier almost larger rounder. Her ass did too. Her shoulders be f down as the straps increased their weight. Digging and turning her skin red as her boobs grew heavier.
She leaned against the tape again marking her height a second time. "5'5" that's not possible I shouldn't be*hic*
She shot up again. Her eyes watching as the 5'5" mark lowered in her vision. She dropped the tape measure as it swung and flipped around the room. Whacking the wall with it's whip. She launched back as it whipped towards her. Her body crashing into the cabinet behind her. She regained her balance as she felt another hiccup press up.
She held her breath as it built it's pressure in her. Her face turning red from it as she strained. Her arms clutched the counter top as she dug her feet into the ground. Her face wrinkling from the pressure. As her vision tunneled she gasped.
*HIC*
She shot up several inches. Her bra popped off as she noticed her panties grow thin. Her ass swelling behind her.
"this isn't possible this can't be happening" *hic*
Her panties snapped off of her as she lurched another couple inches up. Her naval pushing above the counter top as her legs wobbled upwards. Her knees shaking.*hic*
She spurted up again. Her head soaring up higher. "She touched her cleavage as it swelled even larger." How do i stop how is this even happening"
"it's speeding up" she held her breath as another one built up she stared in the mirror as it built up higher and higher.*HICC* she yelped as her face grew over the mirror. Her cleavage at the top of it. "It's not working I cant stop. I need help I need to get out of here. I don't even know how tall I am. She raced to the door as she hiccuped again.
Her head growing above the doorframe as she practically ripped the door off it's hinges. She turned to run through as her head hit the top of the frame. Bending forward as she struggled throughthe tin passage way. As she stood back up on the other side she hiccuped again. Her head bashing I to the ceiling. She rubbed her head as she grew wide eyed.
Her one night stand easily 2-3 ft taller. His shorts ripped off his body in to the bed. His legs sprawling over the edge of the bed. His erection sitting 2 ft long.
He groaned and sputtered as he masturbated in front of her.
"it burns I can't*hic"*stop. . He sprouted up another couple inches his head hitting the headboard bending it into the wall. His dick sprouting up another half a foot.
She stood mouth agape as he continued to pleasure himself. "Stop you need to stop we have bigger problems.*hic*
Meg fell to her knees as her neck bent at the ceiling. The discomfort becoming too much. She leaned forward as his legs grew out to either side of her with another hiccup. He slowed down and eventually stopped masturbating as she calmed him.
His dick thrashing and twitching on its own as he groaned. The bed creaking under his weight.
"we need to get out of *hic* here" she sprouted up larger her head looming I to the ceiling again. She opted to fall forward as her head tried to dentthe roof. Her arms falling onto the bed as it cracked under their weight. Her boobs swinging forward on to his legs as she leaned over his dick.
*hic* he surged again. His legs growing down to her knees from her knelt position. His dick surging closer to her face as they stared at each other. It still twitched as he strained. "I'm sorry I can't control it especially not with you like this in front of m."
*hic"
She had lost focus she hiccuped again as she sprouted larger. Her back hitting the ceiling. Her feet hitting the walk behind her. Her butt tickling the drywall behind her as well. Her head zoomed up to his. Her cleavage swinging forward covering his dick as it buried in her cleavage. Hestrained and groaned as she felt him twitch.
"don't not know"
*hic*
He instead opted for growing. His head bent at the wall. His eyes staring right into her cleave. His dick growing in her as he felt the tip of his head push up against her ribcage. He grabbed the carpet as he started to lose himself to passion. His eyes clasping shut as he strained.
His dick thrashed and twitched as she felt a bit of precum drill out. "Don't think about just calm down we will figure this*hic... Out" she whimpered.
Meg swelled forward. Her boobs pinning his pelvis down smashing and smooshing his dick. Her boobs twitching and swelling around it. Her head hit the wall her feet cracking and speeding through the broken bathroom wall. Her movement causing her boobs to swing and jiggle as she felt him losethe battle.
His cum shooting up inside her cleavage as he hiccuped again."sorry he muttered as he curled up under her to fit. Their bodies fighting for room I. The cramped space.
Meg shook and spasmed. "Something wrong something happenIng *HICC HICC HICC*
She shot out of the house. Her cleavage swelling over him as he was lost under her. She sprang up. Eventually standing up as the house credaroh her. She stepped outside ofthewre large eventually finding his body half her size barely breathing.*hic* she lurched up again. 'fucking last time I go to a one night stand" she muttered as she approached 75 ft tall.
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Just the Editor
summary: chris teasing the podcast editor takes a little turn
warnings: language, make outs, dry humping
requested.
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im editing a podcast for THE sturniolo triplets. this is big, like huuge. these guys got me through senior year of hs, and now im their editor, like wtf.
on the set beyond the wall that divides us i can hear the guys laughing with one another.
they’ve been recording for about 2 and a half hours. they should be done soon and come check the final product of the last pod i edited.
soon enough they finish their current recording and come to the editors office.
“Hey y/n/n.” nick says.
“Hey nick.” i get out of my chair to hug him and greet the other boys. “Im pretty much done if you guys wanna take a peek on the last episode.”
“Oh i have a meeting with madi and laura that matts gonna drive me to.” nick hesitates. “If chris is up for it he can stay and watch.”
“Yeah i can come pick him up after the meeting.” matt chimes in.
“Ok sounds good.”
no it doesn’t, two of three triplets gone leaving me with the third that i just so happen to be absolutely smitten over.
matt interrupts my thoughts, “Alright cool. We’ll be back.”
“Be good Chris.” nick laughs before heading out the door and closing it behind him.
i turn to face chris. i hope to god he doesn’t see how nervous i am.
“Ok so you ready?”
“Uhh yeah, you got pepsi?”
“Yeah there should be some in the fridge downstairs.”
“You wanna lead me over there? Please?”
“Of course.” i stand up and quickly walk to the foor opening it for him.
“No no, ladies first.” he winks.
fuck.
“Thanks.” wtf, THANKS, dumbass.
he laughs tho, ok cool, play it cool.
we walk down the stairs and into the kitchen in silence.
“Do you want one or two?” i say bent over in the fridge reaching for his pepsi. he steps close behind me, resting his hand on my lower back.
“Lemme get two, just in case.”
“ok.” i feel weak, his hand feels so firm and strong.
compared to the cold room i was in his hand is hot and the temperature change makes me shiver.
“Are you ok?” he asks as i stand up.
“Yeah just cold.”
“Here take my sweatshirt.”
before i can decline the offer he’s already taking it off revealing a wife beater that lifts halfway up his torso as the sweatshirt comes off. my eyes go wide and i dont get the chance to fix my expression before he notices the blush on my face.
he laughs softly, “Here goof, put it on.”
i take the sweater and put it on.
“You look good.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem, lets go watch the pod.”
“Yeah.”
my face is most definitely flushed, im hot, genuinely burning up and the sweater is making this worse now, but it smells so good. i cant take it off, not yet.
“Ok here you go.” i pass him my laptop and headphones so he can watch the pod on the loveseat in the office.
“Yo, you’re not gonna watch with me?”
“Uh, i guess i can.”
he scoots over and hands me the other headphone. he presses play. i cant even focus on the video in front of me, all i can think about is the fine ass man right next to me. shoulder to shoulder i swear i can feel his heart beat. there’s no way in hell im playing this cool. i just know im shaking. please god dont let him notice.
but he does anyways.
he pauses the video, “Is everything ok.”
i dont want to look him in the eyes, im gonna give it up. “Mhm, yeah.”
“Look at me.” he says quiet and gentle. but i dont look.
he grabs my face turning me towards him.
“I said look at me.”
he’s serious this time, his tone still quiet but now firm.
“Sorry.” i mumble.
“Shh, don’t apologize.” a smile grows on his face. “Whats on your mind?”
i shrug, struggling to make eye contact.
“Tell me, baby.”
im sure he could see the shock on my face because his subtle smirk turned into a soft chuckle.
“you’re pretty, chris.”
“You think so?”
i nod my head quickly.
“You’re beautiful, y/n.” he leans closer. “Can i kiss you?”
i nod once more before his lips land on mine.
he starts slow speeding up the kiss getting more rough. his tongue now caressing mine. he slowly runs his hand down to my neck and lets the other rest on my hip.
his sloppy kisses lead down my neck and i feel him leaving his mark. i let out a moan from the sharp pain, as i reach to grab his hair.
he bites harder making me let out another moan before he lets go, breathing hard he says, “Keep moaning for me, baby.”
“Yes sir.” i say as he goes back to making out with me.
i straddle his waist taking control grinding on his dick feeling the bulge grow larger.
“Fuck. Ke-keep going.”
now kissing down his neck and grinding against his hard cock, ive got him moaning for me.
then.
there’s a knock.
“Heeeyy.”
its nick. he opens the door to me struggling to get off chris. chris is completely unfazed as im absolutely embarrassed.
“Chris.”, matt laughs. “You didn’t.”
Nicks jaw completely dropped he turns around and walks out of the room.
Matt daps up chris before leaving too.
Chris stands up walking towards me, “Call me ok?”
i nod and he kisses my cheek before heading out the door.
i fall back onto the loveseat in utter disbelief.
“He forgot his sweatshirt.”
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dialogue key: nick - matt - chris - y/n
hope you like it, love you 🫶
EDIT: Pt 2 Out Now
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#new writers on tumblr#reader insert#requests are open#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#fanfics#sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo
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:¨ ·.· ¨:⠀ `· . ୨୧ various edward nashton hcs & thoughts !!
contains: a mention or two about his killings in the movie, religious trauma, & drug usage. word count: 1.4k
writers note: hi friends! guhfhkj i am being brave and posting some writing on main.... ( ;´ - `;) here are a few headcanons and general thoughts that've been Marinating in my mind for a while. i felt like this was getting quite long, so maybe i'll have another post with some more soon.. because i have many thoughts..enjoooy! ^_^
♡ obviously he is obsessive. and loves repetitive actions and routines. his main special interest would be the renewal fund and the wayne family. (obviously) he has a big sense of moral justice. ⋆⭒ one of his main repetitive actions would be counting. he does this a lot with his fingers, the books on his shelf, or even the letters on a neon sign outside. just quickly under his breath. ⋆⭒ he also would sway. he usually does this in his apartment, when hes scrolling nigma or something. it really calms him. i think he would be too self-conscious to do it in public though. the King of masking. but occasionally he cant help himself when he's really focused at a café or something.
♡ but some of his other interests include: retro games, ancient civilizations, and general puzzle games. and god this man is a consistent minesweeper frequenter. heavy on frequent. loves 2048, sudoku, does the daily crossword on newspapers.
♡ half of the apps on his phone has to be games. 'games on his phone?' yes.
♡ i think he also has a undying love for pokemon. unsure what his favorite type would be, i think he would cycle through different types every single time the interest pops back up in his head again.
♡ AND GUYS GENUINELY HERE ME OUT. i think he helped code the club penguin rewritten website . im So. so serious on this one.
♡ OH OH. OHHH!! one of his longest lasting special interests? languages. how this starts? i imagine young edward back at the orphanage, already finished reading every single book he could find... every single english book, that is. maybe he'd sneak into the library. he's sure those books have riddles that can only be solved if you understand its language first. ⋆⭒ he finds interest in the progression of languages especially. how they change over time, and the origin of words and their sounds. ⋆⭒ though i don't think he would be a polyglot. but he'd know a lot of random words here and there, and some slang words no one would expect him to know from many languages!
♡ but a language he especially would like is ASL. he'd have a heightened interest of any form of communication that doesn't involve words. like, the font wingdings y'know? any kind of 'code.' ⋆⭒ he'd especially love learning ASL on his own during his younger years, since he struggled with speaking more often back then. he doesn't talk to anyone much now a days anyways, unless its small talk. (okk i see you selective mutism representation! >_< )
♡ he is sadistic. not a headcanon, just fact. this can be seen in his killings in the movie. though he primarily killed to give a point to the city of gotham, and to become a symbol much bigger than himself, he never gives these people quick and simple deaths. he enjoys these killings. cutting off the mayor’s thumb while he was still alive, sticking rat poison in officer savage, and sticking his head in a rat cage, waiting for them to eat him alive shown for everyone to watch. these were thought out, and he enjoyed watching. he enjoyed putting on a show, and their deaths were his entertainment.
♡ though outside of being the riddler, edward has a lot of self hatred. this fronts as anger, standoffish and anti-social behaviors. he doesn't mean to be mean, its just deep rooted. a combined hatred of everyone who'd hurt him prior.
♡ even though he hates himself, he also thinks of himself as better than anyone else. he feels as if he is worthy, and he has the intellect to show it. he consistently searches for small, daily positions that keep him in power.
♡ has a love/hate relationship with his own intellect. he wishes he wasn't cursed with his knowledge, sometimes he just wishes he could be blind and stupid to the darkness of the city. but he prides himself in being smart, especially in being good with numbers. its something he knows he can actually do correctly. he loves the certainty of numbers, how they never change or lie.
♡ i think would mostly hate how smart he was when he was younger. he hated how it distanced himself from genuinely everyone, and at one point he wasn't sure if he just enjoyed being reclusive or if he simply just got used to it. ⋆⭒ he would hate how the other kids or his classmates would only talk to him when they needed answers for their work and how they would expect him to know everything. (he sadly did.)
♡ he loves consistency. but hates complacency. he knows things can change, things could be better. but he finds comfort in his routines, even if it makes his world grey.
♡ due to religion being constantly drilled into his brain throughout his childhood, he experiences severe trauma. when he does something that is not pleasing to the beliefs he was taught, he self deprecates. lots of talking down on himself. he still can remember a few memory verses and prayers, and sometimes obsessively recites them to himself. ⋆⭒ he knows some of his fears are honestly a little irrational, that maybe one day he'll just be struck down. he's trying not to let them take over his logic, but he struggles. he is constantly upset that he still has these childhood fears that bind him.
♡ speaking of his time during the orphanage: his dirty unkempt upbringing and the long lasting effects of it could be seen in his living space. the chaotic and 'dirty' environment is almost comforting to him. sticky notes with ramblings of riddles and math problems. besides, his brain works too fast to care where things were placed in his home.
♡ despite his messy apartment, he hates feeling dirty. this is also thanks to the orphanage. he’s well kempt. everything is messy, not dirty. the orphanage was sadly, both. he looks like a sopping wet rat, it doesn't mean he smells like one though.
♡ he also has a fear of smelling bad, despite knowing he thoroughly washes. ⋆⭒ i think he would smell like soap or just his laundry detergent. he wants to try different scents, he kind of likes the idea of having a 'signature scent,' but honestly some smells give him a headache if they're too concentrated. and he can't have that while doing his everyday activities. ⋆⭒ its the kind of scent where you can only really smell it on the person when you hug them, y'know? which is kind of fine to him, he'd rather smell like nothing than something bad.
♡ he absolutely despises drops. any kind of heavy drug really he stays away from. he knows just how easily it can unravel a person, after constantly watching kids as young as 12 years old become addicted to it. his intellect would go to waste if he ever decided to start using.
♡ BUT! definitely smokes weed, or just in general he smokes. he probably tried it for the first time in his early twenties, hated it and dropped it. but he CANNOT continue handling his anxieties raw. so he picks it up again in his thirties. only occasionally... kind of.
♡ he loves LOVES animals. i like to think he had a little hyperfixation on animals and the general care for them when he was younger, so despite never having a pet, he could definitely at least recommend what to feed your average household pet.
♡ not only that, but he finds interest their internal structures, and the similarities to the human body. (i honestly don't know where these hcs came from, but bare with me here.) ⋆⭒ he loves dogs, but he's found himself liking cats a bit more recently. especially strays, he finds their resilience to continue living despite their circumstances to be admirable. ⋆⭒ he'd love to adopt. but he can hardly keep track of his own health, not to mention the state of his apartment. and don't even get him started on the extra expenses. ⋆⭒ though, i think he'd be pretty scared of interacting with any stray, maybe just animals in general he'd be pretty hesitant of being around. he doesn't like the uncertainty. and hates remembering his bad experiences with animals when he was younger. ⋆⭒ i think he'd bring himself to a cat café for one of his birthdays after weighing the pros and cons, after a day that was especially rough on him or something. he usually doesn't care for the date, but he honestly just likes using it as an excuse to go out somewhere whenever he feels like it. (he probably cried either from the animals' cuteness or the fact that he was there alone, maybe a bit of both. poor employees probably didn't know what to do.) ⋆⭒ i also think it would be funny if he was allergic, but obsessed. constantly sneezing but he can't help but want to cuddle up with them. but he doesn't have to be.
#riddler#the riddler#paul dano#riddler 2022#dano!riddler#dano riddler#edward nashton#danonation#the batman#batman 2022#headcanons#riddler headcanons#edward nashton headcanons
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make me bad pt.1
pairing: the grabber x f!reader warning: average stockholm syndrome, violence, some non con wordcount: 2,254 words notes: this was supposed to be dirty albert smut, somehow turned into something more. cant explain. kinda AU where where the grabber is simply deranged stalker/kidnapper and has nothing to do with kids AO3 link//masterlist
summary: It was a day like any other during this time; grey, cold and depressive. A day like any other; another missing person. Another strike from the unknown kidnapper. "If he wanted to take me, he already would."
It was a day like any other during this time; grey, cold and depressive. A day like any other; another missing person. Another strike from the unknown kidnapper, serial killer more likely. It's been like half a year since the first girl disappeared - what were the chances of finding her alive at this point?
Shaking your head you finished coffee and rushed out of your apartment.
‘Almost late for the cinema’, ran through your head as you glanced at your phone.
Others were canceling their plans and limited going out, especially when night covered the streets, but you felt you had no reason to do so.
If the creep wanted to take me, he'd already do so.
You laughed to yourself and headed towards the cinema. Was it because you needed some courage? Because you kept lying to yourself? A cold chill ran up your spine and you nervously laughed again.
“You are late!” Your friend's loud voice cut the silence. “Hurry up, it's almost starting!”
“Coming, wait!”
Not reserving seats before and being late, you had no choice but take what was available. You were here for the movie, yet being separated from your friend bothered you.
“Well, hello!” The older man next to you smiled. “Enjoy the movie, hey?”
Something about him seemed eerily familiar, yet you'd swear you had never seen him before. His eyes sparkled from the projector, visibly shifting from your knees to your chest repeatedly.
“Thanks. You too.”
If the creep wanted to take me, he'd already do so.
~~~~~
It was a day like any other during this time; grey, cold and depressive. A day like any other; another missing person.
Finishing your usual morning coffee, you packed up all you needed for work and left the apartment.
“Good morning!” You smiled at the neighbor next door.
“Morning, beautiful!”
‘Should've brought an umbrella with me’, you thought but continued your walk nevertheless.
This time of the year used to be unpredictable with weather - almost moody you could say. The street suddenly became so stranded and silent, the sound of the wind was almost deafening. Nervousness creeped up on you and you increased your walking pace, rhyming it up with your heartbeat.
“Hey, stop! You just lost this!” A male voice shouted behind you.
You did not want to stop, did not want to look who he was, but what did you lose? Taking a deep breath to try to relax your heartbeat, you turned around and was met with a funny looking guy. White painted face with a wide smile, framed by his hair and finished with a black top hat.
“Is it yours?” He asked again and waved a key with a big keychain at you.
You couldn't make out exactly what it was in his hand, but him being seemingly so friendly and harmless, you didn't hesitate to make your way towards him.
Replying to his smile with one of yours, you nodded and grabbed the key, a key to your apartment. “Thank you so much. I didn't even hear it hit the ground.”
“You seemed to be lost in thoughts.”
“Yeah.. uhm, well, thank you again, sir.”
“Gladly.” He tipped his hat and got back to his car - a black van to be specific. “Won't steal your time any more, don't worry.”
“No it's fine,” the awkwardness visible in your laugh. “Thank you again.”
“Alright! See you soon.”
You waved at the man mindlessly, watching the black van disappear around the corner slowly. Once he was fully out of view, you observed the key that fell out of your bag - or a pocket - who knows. It was indeed a key to your apartment, but a spare one you had hidden in your room in case anything happened. Quickly rustling through your back, you found the original key and your jaw dropped.
There was no chance you'd take both keys with you - the realization slowly kicked in. Someone must've took them. Someone was inside your home.
Someone…
Standing there in the middle of the street frozen, you recognized the van as well. His ‘funny’ white face with a tophat. That was the so-called magician with the black van that was seen near the areas of kidnappings. How could you be so oblivious to something so obvious? So careless?
‘See you soon as well? What?!’
You swore he seemed somewhat familiar too, despite the white make-up all over his face. Never seen him before, yet you knew him. Somehow. Squeezing both keys in your now shaky hands, you turned around and hurried to your home.
“Sooner than I expected,” a male voice whispered behind you the second you closed the door to your apartment and within a second, a numb blow into the back of your head sent you unconscious to the ground. “Thought we'd get to know each other better first, but well,” he smirked and reached for the needle in his pocket.
~~~
Cold water dropped on your cheeks, slowly but annoyingly enough for you to open your eyes and squirm away. Dirty mattress underneath you, little window behind bars near the ceiling and cold, concrete walls all around you. Heavy doors you'd never be able to open on your own. Lonely black phone on the wall with ripped out cable. Scratches on the wall like if someone dug their nails into it. Unreadable words.
‘What in the fuck is this place?’ You thought as you wiped the water off your face and touched the back of your head. ‘Aah.. my head.’
You stood up ignoring the pulsating headache, trying to get away from the mattress. It smelled horrendous - combination of piss, sweat and blood. The smell of horrendous death. Is this where all the previous kidnapped girls were? Where they died? You gagged suddenly, almost throwing up despite your stomach being empty. After effect of a sleep drug he used after knocking you out, to make absolutely sure you won't wake up earlier than he wanted you to.
The heavy door's joints screeched being opened and you saw a dark silhouette standing in the doorway. Silhouette with horns.
“I need to look into that,” the man sighed and stepped inside, making sure the doors were closed and locked behind him. “Brought you something to sober up.”
You observed his every move without moving much yourself, without saying anything. He carried a large plate with a bowl on it.
“How did you sleep, beautiful?” He laughed like someone trying to ease up the mood in an awkward situation.
Making his way towards you, you stepped back till your back crashed into the cold concrete wall.
“It's just food! Come on.”
He placed the plate next to the mattress and looked at you, exposing his mask in the light. That's why his silhouette seemed horned before, like a demon, you weren't imagining things. The Japanese demon mask - or something similar at least. The eerie smile carved into it only added to his unsettling look. It looked like he tried to look nice and polished - smiley mask, black shirt without a single fold, red shirt to his neck underneath it, black pants without any folds as well, his hair freshly washed and brushed.
“Don't be stupid.” He sighed at your silence. “It's not poisoned. If I wanted to kill you, I already would, don't you think?”
You had to admit - he was right about that. Why go through all the trouble of stalking and kidnapping you, taking you all the way here, to just end up killing you right away. But then; then there was the question of what he actually plans to do with you. Your body uncontrollably shivered at the thought.
“You can't be cold,” the man laughed and then tilted his head, hoping to get some kind of reply or reaction out of you.
But no - you were determined to stay as unreadable as possible. “Thank you for the food,’” you whispered, voice raspier and scared-sounding than you planned.
The man didn't utter a word; he just bored his eyes into you for what seemed like an eternity before making his way to the heavy door. Standing in the frame, he stood still and turned his masked face to you: “I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're anxious about. Not unless you make me.”
~~~~
“Calmer today, aren't we?” He shouted upon entering the room.
You couldn't see his face but knew he was smiling under the mask. A sinister smile. Watching his body movements you couldn't help but wonder what he was so happy about - but you weren't gonna ask him. Once he got close enough to you, you noticed his mask was different; there was no creepy smile decorating it. It was all blank.
“I didn't wake you up, did I?” He asked and sat right next to you at the edge of the mattress.
You shook your head in a reply - of course he didn't. You didn't close your eyes for a second in fact. Spiraling all possible ways to run away in your head, all the way you could maybe manipulate him, overpower him, anything.
“Good, little bird.”
His hand reached to your face and stopped right before touching your skin, seemingly waiting if you moved away or not. It looked like he predicted you'd try to squirm away immediately but the fact you didn't made him froze in a pleasant surprise. He tilted his head and grabbed a strand of your hair, twirling it around his finger again and again. His eyes boring into yours, waiting for any kind of reaction out of you.
“Hmpf,” he sighed and let go of your hair. It wasn't a sigh of disappointment though, rather a sigh of entertainment. You were not gonna be as easy as the others - just as he thought the second he laid his eyes onto you in the streets many, many weeks ago.
Oh, he was going to enjoy the challenge. He was going to enjoy breaking you.
~~~
You lost count of how many days went by. Weeks maybe? Who knew. You observed every single part of the basement, all the cravings in the walls, imperfections in the floor - it seemed to have been repaired multiple times in one spot. Every piece of brown and orange leaves on the trees you could see outside the tiny window - surprised they didn't all fall off already. You felt like you knew everything about this room, except the phone.
The black phone.
At first you thought the man left it here to mock his victims, to make them call for help desperately, just to laugh at them. That was until you started hearing the phone ringing; faintly, but still ringing. It wasn't possible - the cable was cut off. The phone didn't work. Wasn't supposed to work. You couldn't tell if it was just your mind playing tricks on you after all the time you've spent just in this single room without nothing else except occasional visits from your captor.
Him … he didn't hurt a single hair on you yet. Just as he said the first day. He didn't even touch you as you thought he would, leaving you wondering what was the purpose of all this. Why? He seemed to have no motive so far. He got you a new mattress as he said, brought some clothes for you to change. Didn't even demand to watch. Nothing.
How could you ever outsmart him without knowing what he wanted?
You decided to be safe and just play your role. Not panicking, trying to get out at any cost. Just be calm and wait; eventually the way to freedom would show itself. The newspapers he brought you sometimes showed that people were searching for you. They cared. Eventually they have to find you, you just need to stay calm and alive. You started to talk to him after the first few days, sometimes you two shared a decent conversation which he seemed to actually enjoy. Mostly about news from the newspaper or other generic stuff, you never asked anything personal about him. What if he got mad?
Often you found yourself sitting against the wall and wondering what he looked like. His mask was two pieces as you already knew, which he kept swapping depending on his mood, but he always wore the full mask. Despite what or who he was, he had cold but beautiful eyes; often framed by his loose hair strands. He wasn't really tall and was lean, yet surprisingly strong.
If you ever saw his face, you were not staying alive to tell anyone about it.
The door made a familiar noise and opened. “Here, something to read,” the man threw newspapers near you. “From today.”
“Why's this here?” You pointed at the black phone.
“It never worked,” he shrugged. “It's a decoration.”
“Al! Al?! I think i got to the core of it and-” Another man yelled from upstairs and was cut off by the man hissing angrily and quickly shutting the door behind himself so you can't hear anything else.
That was the first time you've ever heard any noise outside the room as it was made soundproof. The man himself made sure nothing gets in and out, as he proudly mentioned once. You never even thought about someone else being in the house. His accomplice? What did he shout, Al? ‘Al… shorter for Albert,’ you smirked and grabbed the newspapers Al brought you. Now you knew his name - maybe you could use it against him.
#idk how to feel about writing after such a long fuckng time#the grabber#albert shaw#the black phone#slashers#the grabber x reader#albert shaw x you#the grabber x you#slasher x reader#slasher x you
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i'm so obsessed w your blog you really unlocked all the nostalgia that's always waiting under the surface frfr i hope you send me spiraling all the way down again i miss it here so bad. anyway can i ask. what u got on... jane my beloved... sowwy if there's already like. posts abt it i'll go thru your whole blog someday and learn everything like my uni books xx
ok some quick warm up doodles this morning to go with the chat i got... tw for torture, stalking, really sad stuff.
link to my au that has a page with her in it
ok to start off with, jane/liu aren't TOO present in my story because jane and liu live really normal lives. most of their personal story is about recovery and growth, they were victims not aggressors. they're more involved in ninas story, rather than the overarching slender/operator paranormal problems...
jane grew up in an upper middle class household with incredibly loving parents. she was majoring in criminal psychology and lived with her parents, since they were close to the uni. it was during her second year in university that jeff began stalking her. he'd leave dead animals on her doorstep, light fires in her garbage cans, shatter windows without even entering the house, key her car, leave cryptic writings on her car that say stuff like '1f' (1female) to further scare her.
it wasn't that there was anything special about jane, but she had a super easy, very strict schedule to follow. her uni classes were all in the same building at the time, her car had a few cute stickers and decorations on/in her car that made it easy to spot, she only worked sat-mon at a cafe near her university. she was a happy person. easy victim he thought
eventually, while jane was out, he broke into her home and assaulted her parents. whether he used drugs or just stabbed them in the right place to make them immobile idk, but he got them tied up in the kitchen at some point. he was torturing them, doing the typical carved out smile bullshit, and he planned on leaving them for jane to find that night -- but, for the first time, her schedule was different. she came home from work while he was drenching the house in gasoline.
he panicked upon hearing her absolutely gutwrenching scream and quickly lit the trail of gasoline while she was trying to untie her dad (her mom was long gone by this point, her dad was barely managing a few wheezed breathes). he went to go finish jane off. he slashed her face, from her right temple, down her cheek, splitting her mouth in half and getting down to her left jaw. but the fire was spreading way faster than he anticipated, and he already heard sirens, so he bolted.
jane suffered 3rd degree burns covering her entire right leg and arm, it reached up her neck and her face, alongside some other parts of her body. she was pulled out of the fire, rushed to the hospital, and barely managed to survive.
jane had some outside family to support her, but her biggest supporter was her friend from middleschool mary vaugn. she moved into mary's house, took a semester off of school for recovery. the second she felt physically able to, she tried to drive herself right back into school, regardless of her mental condition.
she changed her major to criminal justice. she eventually graduated, fell in love with mary, got married, became a private investigator, etc. she spent a while working on jeff's case, losing sleep and hair over it- she was getting into some sketchy things to try and figure it out, because by this point jeff and ben were friends, and slenderman needs ben's help, so jeff's now protected by slenderman
but jane is one stubborn fucking woman and kept going. instead of sending the proxies to subdue jane, he sent sally.
sally was another poltergeist that kept haunting homes with newborn babies. she was attracting some attention, but slenderman cant physically stop a ghost - so he spent some time talking to sally, connecting with this little ghost girl and convincing her 'you're doing such a great job protecting all these infants, but this one needs you now'
he sent sally off to live with jane. mary's sister was staying with jane/mary after having a baby, so sally agreed to protect the baby. jane quickly welcomed sallys presense, always having believed good things of protective spirits. her mom used to tell her stories of how her grandmother's ghost would always come and soothe jane in her infancy (whether its true or not doesnt matter to jane) .
sally eventually became more than a presence to jane, almost completely integrating herself into her household's daily life. even after mary's sister and her baby left, sally stayed with jane. she felt safe there. (it helped that there were no men in the house too)
jane cares for sally like a daughter for a long time, and begins to redirect her life towards sally, rather than hatred for jeff. she never fully recovers from that night, and she never ever ever ever fucking 'forgives' jeff in any way, but she puts it aside for a while.
but sally is still a spirit, and does her fair share of wandering. she's always landing herself in the cornfields, the forest, etc, and jane goes frantic looking for her -- which is where she eventually bumps into the proxies. it's a huge mess, but she finds out what the fuck slenderman is and whats happening in that forest, but she just . . cant do anything about it. for sallys sake
eventually they get to the point where jane commonly finds herself walking in the forest with sally, or the proxies have to call jane and tell her to 'get her ghost kid' from the forest, etc.
at some point in this she also connects with liu. i don't know who reaches out first, whether it be liu desperately wanting to apologize for everything, or jane trying to figure out anything about jeff she can use to find him. this is how she finds out about nina.
jane smacked the shit out of nina when she first met her, in front of the proxies, who had to pull them apart. (i love nina but she deserved it after idolizing jeff). but nina is really fucking weird and began to idolize jane as well, and sally liked nina, which made it even more complicated, and that's why jane is the first person nina calls after jeff stabbed her ...
by this point janes hoping nina can heal, hoping liu can heal, hoping she herself can heal. ITS VERY HARD. its so unbelievably painful. that's basically where her story is at right now...
on a more positive note, she has a beautiful relationship with mary, and was hugely accepted in mary's family. she does poetry, creative writing, and is passionate about her career. she takes some extra creative writing/art courses at the local community college, just out of pure interest. she does her best to live a peaceful life
a bit off topic, but here's a little thing i copy and pasted from an old hc post too:
i cannot explain how close jane and her parents were. she was an only child in a upper middle class house to a lawyer and a real estate agent so she was always spoiled rotten, taken care of, always told how beautiful and smart she was. hence why losing them is the most fucking detrimental shit to ever happen to her. she literally worhsips her parents. she’s wore mothers wedding dress to her own wedding. her uncle(dads brother) walked her down the aisle holding a framed photo of her dad. she almost refused to walk during her university graduation because her parents couldn’t be there, despite the years worth of hardwork and dedication she put into it.
#asks#hcs#creeped#jane the killer#jane everlasting#jane arkensaw#jane richardson#sweetart#omfg also thank you#your ask was so sweet#thank u so much tysm tysm tysm THANK YOU
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