#i cant explain how tasty & good this is!

[bbyquokka]

i've just made the nicest jacket potato and i'm so pleased with myself, ajsjwkd 😭😍

[gallusrostromegalus]

You ohhhandedly mentioned tessai livong through ww2 and… wow thats true there were a lot of characters that got a first row seat to both conflicts, even if only the second was really impactful on japans history. Does urahara, yoruichi, tessai, the vizored or any of the shinigami have any specific feelings on ww2/the nuclear bombs? I know its a wild fucking question but it literally just occurred to me and i cant stop thinking about it.

Yeah WW2 is an entire 5-chapter arc in the fic because apparently Kubo is from Hiroshima, and Karakura town is based on his memories growing up there. Stuff that happens during that arc:

The Soul Society's sole warning that something catastrophic might be coming is the arrival of an irradiated and enraged Coyote spirit from the Trinidad test site. It's up to Newly-appointed captain Komamura to calm it down and explain what happened, and Mayuri is able to work out that atomic weapons are real from it's descriptions. He gives Soul Society about a month before the humans drop one on a city.

Unfortunately, he's correct.

***

Urahara and the Visoreds use the fact that they're already dead to mitigate some of the damage from the bombing by walking into the epicenter and shoving carbon rods into the most radioactive points, stemming much of the radiation damage, but there's nothing they can do for the initial wave of destruction.

It involves going through a new gigai every trip and learning what if feels like to have the flesh actually melt off your bones, but Hirako Shinji and the other Visored are no cowards, least of all about Hard and Dirty Work.

Tessai makes Ururu and Jinta out of spare parts from Urahara's Gigai experiments to house a heavily damage Kitsune and Tanuki spirit pair from a shrine that was destroyed. Ururu is the Tankuki, and the older one- Jinta seems a bit more 'organic' because Tessai learned a lot making his sister, and because as a Kitsune, he's a better actor.

***

Soul Society is in major trouble though.

with the sudden influx of souls- first from the bombing, but then from the radiation sickness and the famine that followed, the living and spirit worlds are in danger of becoming unbalanced.

It's a Major Crisis!

Fortunately for them, people with sociopathy tend to operate really well during Crises, and I realized the reason Mayuri hasn't been fired or killed by the time Ichigo shows up is that when shit hits the fan, Mayuri's lack of emotional response to the suffering of others means he can buckle down and fucking DELIVER.

Expansions to the pocket dimension that the queue of incoming souls is housed in? He didn't sleep for two weeks to get it done on time, but there was more than enough room when the bomb dropped and for the few months after as casualties continued.

Emergency rations for all these incoming factory workers that know nothing about farming? Behold, Nutritionally complete meals that you can eat right out of the box! And smaller, friendlier ones for the kiddies!

Hell, the 12th division even makes instructional propaganda videos about how safe and tasty these new foods are, featuring The Grand Clown Himself, and distribution centers featuring his likeness, so Mayuri enjoys a peculiar popularity in the Rukongai, not unlike an off-brand and sometimes educational Krusty The Clown.

Just ah. Stop asking questions about the ingredients list.

***

"I'm not fucking killing civillians." Says Kenpachi when Yamamoto begins to bring up the historical method that the Shinigami have used to balance out sudden influxes of souls from the living world.

"Oh?" Yamamoto glares at him. "You have a better idea?"

"What's them big fuckers that come outta tears sometimes? Hundred feet tall, black, bird faces?" He asks, waving as he tries to remember the names.

"...Menos Grande?" asks Ukitake, who has gotten remarkably good at interpreting for the man next to him at meetings.

"Yeah!" Zaraki grins, patting his six-foot-tall colleague on the head like a small child. "You said they're like... combination creatures of a thousand souls each right?"

"Zaraki is correct." Pipes up Tousen, who is also extremely eager to not murder civilians and even more eager to absolutely fuck up the army of Menos Aizen has been gathering in Hueco Mundo. "-It wouldn't be *easy* but dispatching approximately Five hundred Menos in the next week seems much more doable and much, much more morally sound than killing five hundred thousand civillians. Sir."

Kaname can feel the curse nails on his back starting to bleed from Aizen's glare but he presses on.

"-There appears to be a significant population of them gathered on the far eastern edge of Hueco Mundo. It would probably take most of the 11th Division's forces but-"

"IKKAKU!" Zaraki is already bellowing out the door to his lieutenant. "TELL EVERYONE TO PACK AN EXTRA PAIR OF PANTIES, WE'RE GOING ON A HOLLOW HUNT!"

There is a distant but enthusiastic whoop form Ikkaku in reply.

"An excursion into Hueco Mundo is exceptionally dangerous." Unohana notes, voice placid as he returns to the table.

"-and? I don't do this job because it's safe 'n' easy." Zaraki shrugs.

Her neutral expression softens just a bit into a small, affectionate and perhaps ever-so-slightly lascivious smile. "May I suggest that a detachment of the 4th Division accompany the 11th? It won't make the work easier, but it will mitigate some of the risk."

Yamamoto groans, aware that the decision has been made for him.

"Fine." He grunts. "Take a detachment of the Ninth too, you can use that newfangled radiodar whatsit to keep me updated."

"Pardon?" Mumbles Kaname, slightly woozy from blood loss.

His circulatory situation is not helped when an illusion-blind-to-the-blood Zaraki grabs him about the middle and starts carrying him off under his arm in exactly the direction the 9th and 11th are not like a particularly bewildered purse Chihuahua.

***

Aizen... almost strays from his path.

The Hogyoku is slow and tiresome, his first plan to barrage Karakura with Menos to create the Oken is being trashed and actually being forced to work his job of Rukongai Management is- Well, it's reminding him just why he started this quest to Dethrone God.

What loving creator would make an afterlife of squalor, where the 'lucky' are cursed to outlive everyone they know and love? Not one worth worshiping, surely.

But actually being out here, setting up emergency food distribution, implementing the latest in civil engineering from the newly arrived and seeing it immediately improve the quality of life, uniting families and... actually helping people? it's making him question his path. Perhaps- Perhaps God is not some uncaring regent on a distant throne. Perhaps God is something that lives in all souls, a kindness and goodwill towards one's fellow man, and to spread the will of a loving creator, one must Act to Enact God's Will...

Gin Panics.

He has not spent the last 300-odd years dangling the Hogyoku in front of Aizen, stuffing him full of spiritual energy to feed to the machine that generates reality like he was fattening up a goose for Pate, only to have him give up his quest for divinity NOW.

He's gonna have to do something drastic.

He's gonna have to convince Aizen he was right all along, and that he needs to keep using the Hogyoku.

He's going to need to use Aizen's own Illusions against him, and convince Aizen that the souls of the citizens of the rukongai aren't worth playing a Benevolent God for. That the whole thing needs to come out and be replaced.

Sure, it's a dick move

but those are his specialty.

***

It's the night before the 11th and the two detachments are supposed to leave for Hueco Mundo, and Yamamoto's been doing some thinking.

He is also in Zaraki's quarters at midnight sharp. "Captain-General." Nods Unohana, pausing mid-activity to acknowledge him. "Bruh." Zaraki grunts to indicate they were busy. "I need to borrow Zaraki for an hour or so, and then you may continue." he says, and then steps back outside so the man can get untied and dressed.

"This better be good old man, I know you haven't been married for a few centuries but REALLY-" Zaraki grumbles, emerging and putting his sandals on. "Don’t worry, it’ll take twenty minutes tops, all you have to do is stand behind me and don’t hide your rage." Yamamoto explains. "-We'’re going to go see the central 46." Zaraki pauses mid-sandal, slowly looking up at him with an intrigued arch to his brow. "Yes, it’s forbidden." Yamamoto says, not tearing his gaze away from the moon above them. "-But I've received reports that the Central 46 has acquired blueprints of the... Device. Used in the living world earlier this month and I'm nipping this at the damn bud." Zaraki grins, and finishes putting his sandals on.

The Central 46 are alerted to the Presence of Yamamoto and Zaraki by the main gate to their district being kicked through the wall of the council chambers.

"Hello, Sages and Wise Councilors of the Soul Society!" The Old Man greets them as he steps through the hole he just made, and The Barbarian squeezing through after, sword casually over his shoulder. "Well isn't this a surprise, everyone here in a full meeting at One in the Morning on a Teusday!"

"Wh-What is the meaning of this?" one of the head councilmen sputters, mustache bristling. "Shinigami are forbidden form this place, I'll have you both execu-!"

"Shut up." Yamamoto glares, and sparks fly from the corner of his eye. The hem of his Haori is starting to smolder and singe as well as he approaches the table the councilors are crowded around the blueprints from the living world.

"Now, we are all good and honorable people here." Yamamoto says, casually waving a hand in what would normally be a placating gesture but now only made his sleeve flicker as Ryujin Jakka grew hungrier. "-But I've been around long enough to know how Power corrupts."

"And we've all been exposed to a new, horrific level of Power."

"Oh, of course, you would never! It's unthinkable to sink to such a level!"

"...but it's been a few weeks. The initial shock has faded, and you're starting to understand the full toll of the destruction." he explains, strolling up, the diamond insignia on his back spreading across his shoulders as the Haori singes. Behind him, Zaraki is following with an unpleasantly carnivorous stroll, yellow eye lazily moving from face to face, taking stock of all those present. "...and you are perhaps developing a new standard of devastation and suffering to wish upon your enemies."

There is some muttering, some protesting, and worse, some agreeing. They are silenced by a sudden electric crackle of Energy from Zaraki.

"I’m just here to tell you all-" Yamamoto continues, unperturbed. Or perhaps so perturbed he's warped all the way around to a deep, ruthless peace.

"If I hear any ONE of you has taken steps to develop a weapon like this-" he points a finger at the blueprints, which singe and then burn, a low, slow flame that reduces them completely to ash.

"-I’m going to kill all of you."

"Actually," he explains, as the blueprints finish burning and the table catches as well, fire blooming and crackling, lighting him from beneath. "I’m going to kill all of you and your families. By which I mean, I’m figuring out who all your ancestors were going back Five generations, Kill them, and kill all their descendants."

The table burns, and the floor is threatening to catch, but nobody can move to ring the fire alarm or grab a bucket of water.

"-Because that’s the kind of indiscriminate destruction these things cause." he explains. "It's a damn shame to say this, but this is the first time we've been able to settle whole families in the same town- because five, six, even seven generations of families, from great-great grandmother to the newest infants were burnt together in an instant."

"So if you want to wield that kind of destruction, you best be prepared to deal with those kinds of consequences." he growls, and suddenly sweeps his hand over the fire, which snuffs out immediately.

Slowly he turns to go, and regards Zaraki behind him.

"Oh, and just in case any of you had thoughts of hastening my retirement in regards to this matter-" he speaks up, and points to Zaraki "-Near as I can tell, this asshole is immortal and indestructible, so if I happen to be dead, he'll do it for me, won't you?"

"Yes, sir." Zaraki Nods, eye fixed on the head councilor, committing his face to memory, blade and crackling eagerly.

"-and he's nowhere near as speedy and clean a killer as I am, so I suggest you don't test either of us." Yamamoto grins, and Ryujin Jakka can't help but flicker off his brow for emphasis.

"Goodnight, and go fuck yourselves." Yamamoto bows, and exits through the same hole he entered.

The walk back to the 11th is largely silent, but Yamamot can feel the pleased-yet-curious thrum of reiatsu from Zaraki.

"Question, boss-" he suddenly speaks as they approach the 11th.

"You're not supposed to question orders, Zaraki." He sighs. He'll make a proper shinigami out of him. Eventually.

"...Request for clarification, Boss-" Zaraki tries again, and Yamamoto nods. "-Why me?"

Yamamoto arches an overgrown brow at him.

"Not complainin'-" Zaraki explains, pointedly looking up at the moon and scratching his neck in deferment. "-But Byakuya's got more sway with them and Gin's definitely better at terrifying first impressions."

"Hm." Yamamoto nods. "It's in the follow-up, not the impression, you see."

"I do not." Zaraki says. For all his faults and frustrations, Zaraki sure keeps Yamamoto on his toes about not being lazy and actually explaining himself.

"-I am very serious about you killing them and their descendants if they ever think about making one of those devices." he sighs and Zaraki nods, waving a hand for him to continue. "-So I picked the Shinigami most invested in a peaceful future to make sure my orders would be carried out."

Zaraki still looks confused.

"You're my only captain with children, Zaraki." Yamamoto explains. "I know you only give half a rat's ass about the court guard, but I've seen what you'll do for Yachiru."

Zaraki nods understanding now, and a few more paces of silence pass between them.

"...Thank you, Sir." Zaraki mutters, bowing his head and using the honorific with genuine intent for the first time since Yamamoto had known him. "-For understanding."

"Thank you, Captain Zaraki." Yamamoto nodded slightly, stopping before the gate to the 11th. "-For understanding as well."

"-Now get back to Captain Unohana before she schedules some sort of blood test of a thousand needles for me!" Yamamoto grunted, prodding at Zaraki with his cane, and the man didn't need to be told twice.

[factual-fantasy]

28 ASKS! THANKS A BUNCH!! 🥰🌊

f...FANK YOIU SO MYUCH!!! 🥰💖💖💖

My cookies can eat and drink :0 but that's mostly becuase I imagine my cookies as more.. people than cookies <XD

Ah, I'm afraid I cannot help you there. I seem to be physically incapable of explaining how I draw things. I've made some hand/art tutorials in the past but I just cant seem to explain myself well-

It boils down to: "Well.. I just, draw it. And uh.. if it looks kind'a off? Draw it a little differently. And if it still looks off.. then uh.. just draw it again, until it looks right." <XDD Not really helpful.. sorry!..

Also thank you so much!! :DD Your compliments mean the world!! 💖

@a-manicured-lawn

ALKSF XDD That sounds great, I'll keep that in mind! :}

(Post in question)

XD It sure is!

That is a good idea! I'll have to keep this in mind! :0 ..Though I do love receiving asks.. 🥺

@headspace-tales

XDD I've been told that Jangles looks like Papyrus, they might fight right in!

Oooo that's a good idea! I might have to try that! :00

(Post in question) (..Or was it this post-)

ALKJSWDJ XDD I'm glad you liked it!! :DD

Probably like warm canned tuna fish spread across a gingerbread cookie XDD

I'm unfamiliar with the world of happy tree friends.. is it safe there? If so, sure they'll stay! :D

That condition was tacked on last minute.. I haven't put much thought into it.. but I'm sure situations like that are very possible :00 I'll have to think more on it! :oo

Can they do that?? Man, Tuna could really use that- <XD

I don't know.. do they? :0

AHEMMM AHEHEMMMMM... THAN K YIOIUUU!!!💖💖💖

SKSAJS IT PROBABLY IS XDD

Aww!! 🥰💖🥰

TERROR!! XDD

I'm not sure.. idk how more cookies in the game are made- <XD

I'm not sure.. I assume a world made of candy would be rather normal to them..? :0

(Post in question)

SKJJDJKSLV XDD

YOOO THATS GENIUS!!

@beryl-shade

I would assume negative.. since a real cookie jar is a bunch of cookies kept "sealed" away in a jar. Its probably the equivalent of a prison to them! :00

My interests come and go. We're bound to see more of it someday, :o

THE NINTENDO SWITCH???

Thank you XDD I hope it works!

ooooo good question! :00

Its rare that Seafoam gets really stressed or overwhelmed. Its the mark of a good Captain to keep his cool when under pressure. But if there comes a time where his stress is high and he cant get away from the situation, he probably seeks out Octo for help. Getting him to take over so that he can step away or just to help him in general. In which Octo is always willing to help.

Octo is the same as Seafoam. Really good under pressure and rarely gets overwhelmed. But just like Seafoam, if things get to be too much he would seek out Seafoam for help. Maybe even getting Seafoam to take control so can get a few minutes to himself.

Red probably gets stressed a lot, the poor kid :< He just runs to Coco, Seafoam, Blue or even Octo if he can. Just the nearest parental/protective figure that can resolve the situation for him <XD

I can see Blue diving deeper or swimming out a ways from the ship when stressed. The whale equivalent of taking a walk <XD

Cuttlefish probably uses her powers to slip out of any situation and find a quiet space to calm down. Removing herself from the situation usually fixes her up pretty quick. Spider crab is the same, just going to find a space alone where he can calm himself down. Usually by taking deep breaths and soaking up the quiet.

Urchin, Louis, Coco, Tuna and Ellie probably would all just find a way to leave the situation to go pace and rant when stressed. Even if they have to make a scene in order to leave.

I can see Pinwheel fleeing to Seafoam whenever something becomes too much to handle. Getting him to step in and help her, though she might not fully leave the situation. Since Seafoam provides her comfort, she might hover nearby while Seafoam resolves the situation for her.. 🥺

(Also thank you for the ask/prompt! Was very tasty😋)

@artistmad (Post in question)

:DD Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! XDD

[followthebluebell]

hello! my cat was recently diagnosed with asthma, and her vet says her treatment will be steroids indefinitely (shes currently taking 1ml twice a day, but the goal is to get down to 0.5ml 1/day, as long as that dose is still effective). overall im lucky shes fairly docile, i know my other cats would be a lot more difficult to medicate, but im still struggling with getting the medicine in her mouth. she jerks her head away quickly, and a lot of the time the medicine either misses and gets everywhere, or she'll open her mouth and dump some of it back out. i cant seem to be quick enough with the syringe to get all the liquid in her mouth and have her swallow it.

do you have any advice to make this easier for the both of us? i know itll never be Easy easy, since i cant explain to her that its for her own good, but im stressing that shes not actually getting the medicine since its hard to tell how much got in her mouth and got swallowed. thank you so much for your time, i really really appreciate it even if you dont have any tips.

as payment i present: The Penguin in question. shes such a sweet girl. i just want her to feel better ):

Hello! I'm sorry to hear your kitty is ill--- asthma is tricky to handle, so it's good that you've got a treatment plan already in progress.

so, it really depends on what kind of medication she's taking. 'Steroids' is a pretty broad group and there are several steroids commonly used for asthma in cats that can be compounded into a tastier form, like small tabs that are much easier to crush and hide in food. Some steroids can even be made into a transdermal paste that just goes on their ear. Personally, I find that transdermal medications don't work as well as oral, but it's something to talk to your vet about.

I strongly encourage you to discuss other options with your vet to see if this is a possibility. Absolutely keep those lines of communication open and explain that you've been having problems dosing your cat.

Another alternative is to try hiding the liquid medication in an especially tasty treat, like a churu or baby food. A LOT of cats absolutely love chicken or ham baby food and it's perfectly safe as long as the baby food doesn't have onions or garlic in it. I know it's VERY controversial but I've also hidden particularly bitter medications in whipped cream--- some cats have very violent stomach upsets from dairy, so it's a VERY calculated risk!

Roomba is pretty difficult to medicate. Due to her various food sensitivities, it's not really an option to compound her medication with flavors. She's also very difficult to burrito, she's too tiny for my typical cat restraint methods, and she won't eat her food if her meds are mixed in. I typically just load up her syringe with SLIGHTLY more medication than is called for and administer it quickly, hoping that most of it stays in her mouth; since pred is very cheap, I'm willing to risk losing some. It's also important to aim for the upper mouth, towards the back, without actually getting it IN her throat directly, because that's a choking risk.

Picking her up quickly by her armpits encourages her to swallow. I don't let her feet leave the floor when i do this, because it's uncomfortable for cats to dangle like that. Just the quick pick-up seems to do it. Gently blowing air in her face also seems to work.

[navire190413]

haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐

you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol

one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.

the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂

he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい！！its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.

money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.

i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.

my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂

i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….

when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!

for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.

i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!

im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.

god im judgmental.

[jovoy]

i accidentally bought a log of fresh sheeps cheese instead of fresh goat cheese at the grocery store this week OMG it is so good and tasty i think its better than goat cheese actually? its like……different. like it came from a sheep instead of a goat or something duh….. but it tastes so good. you have to trust me. im not a cheese expert im just a perfume girl so i cant explain how its different but it is so you just have to go find a log of sheep cheese and try it yourself and report back to me. 🐑🐏 baaaaaaaaa

[nonsenuser]

Zaregoto volume 2 rambles and notes

So I reread Strangulation: Kubishime Romanticist (aka vol 2 Zaregoto) AGAIN and this time I decided to make little notes as a went along. BIG TIME spoiler warning ahead because I just made notes where there was big time foreshadowing, def dont read this if you intend to read Zaregoto yourself

Prologue 

“never having loved is the same as never having lived” great quote

Early on in the story ii introduces this idea that him and zerozaki are the same and yet different in ways that cant really be explained.

The idea is they could’ve both turned out to be like the other, say if the circumstances were different and this is what they used to explain their affinity and I guess you could say attraction ;) to each other. 

Chapter 1

I will always adore the kimchee scene. Like he wanted to eat tasty food after being in such a crazy scenario the month before and yet all he comes to is ordering kimchee with absolutely no rice. 

ii talking about college being a space with curiously friendly people, striking up conversation like you’ve been buddies for life and this is so true, especially true since Mikoko is a humanities person (not to stereotype but I personally find people who study these more sociable and friendly than stem majors). Also we get some acknowledgement of II’s horrible memory 

Hilarious that ii orders kimchee again and goes oops and the lunch lady gives him even more than the last time, his poor tongue 

Iis loserness is very relatable. He doesn’t dislike boredom and he enjoys doing nothing more than others. Time to contemplate his own life and escape the hustle of life, ii just happens to like doing this more than others what an edge lord (i get him truly)

Miiko describing II’s scowl and saying he always looks like he’s contemplating something. Hard to approach. Also mentions an AT Field so I much appreciate the EVA reference, once again II is relatable as ever. 

“lovers and drunks have something in common they shove their happiness in other peoples faces” beautiful. And they were both not around during this time, one gone home already and the others still drinking 

Honestly theres something sooooo wow about ii describing his maybe killers appearance in such detail. He doesn’t really do this with any other character in this novel (within the story def not he has met a lot of interesting people. Like aikawa especially). 

Once again he describes how different they are and yet it felt like they were looking in a mirror. 

“he had my heart and I had his eyes” is such a romantic line for some reason. Even tho it is describing two people that are attacking each other. “we stayed there for as long as 5 hours or maybe 5 seconds” also kind of makes it sound like they’re lost in the moment. Earlier in the story II mentions there is “above all else no romance” which is real interesting that there is emphasis on that specifically despite all this. Their first meeting is so good, especially this stuff. They’re sort of captivated by each other because of how they see the similarities in each other its just so good. 

Extra notes:

Mikokos jealousy over Emoto is evident early on with the comment she made about feeling jealous if Ii chan remembered Emoto and not her 

Feminist comment is real interesting idk I guess Ii is a gender neutral asshole, not expecting any sort of message like that in this story especially knowing the events that transpire going forward 

Chapter 2

Iis rooms is so him. Naked light bulb. His wardrobe not jam packed with options oh what a boring guy 

Miiko Asano description is hitting way too close to home for me. 22 years old working various gigs…. Unapproachable at first but pretty cool after oh what a girl I love 

Subdued demeanour, default expression being a glare 

Hahahaha taking about bringing a guy (Zerozaki) back to his room. Schmoozing with the serial killer everyone is talking about under the schijo bride 

Apparently the exact definition of schmoozing is to talk to someone in order to impress or manipulate them which is real interesting 

Eight Queens game. Gets harder as you progress and Ii plays it on his own and he can vent his frustration in losing on his own which is so in character for him. It’s also a good metaphor for how the mysteries in Zaregoto play out as a whole so this is super meta. 

I forgot how delinquent Muimui was

The conversation with Zerozaki about what a friend is, is one of my favourites 

Muimui drunk being like, my brains flipped upside down so my cerebrum and cerebellum are switched which is so real lmfao 

Zerozaki and II have yet to talk about Zerozakis motive for killing. Instead talking about ‘stupid irrelevant things’ and saving the best for last 

Tomoe has this weird infatuation or fixation I guess with Mikoko like she wishes she was like her. And she shares this with II 

Also when the murder happens “it probably wasn’t anything to worry about” would’ve been a dead giveaway if it wasn’t for the phone call that took place later on in the chapter 

And of course the last thing II thinks of before going to bed after hanging out with these new friends and bringing Mikoko home is what is Zerozaki doing right now I wonder if he’s killing anybody…. 

Chapter 3

Mikoko is so obvious about her crush its hilarious, II is just very oblivious (or maybe hes not stupid unreliable narrator)

The interrogation stuff was also really great because its like Ii didn’t even try to be not suspicious but thats just the way he is. And to react to Tomoes death in that way is so bizarre but its very in character considering the first arc 

Ii and Zerozaki at karoke is a real joy, I could reread this part of the story an infinite amount of times and never get sick of it. 

Some highlights though:

general discussion on what it means to kill

The time that passes, they apparently are in that booth for ~4 hours and theres a period of silence for around 1 (although I think this is just Ii being dramatic), and then they go to Tomoes place. They basically hang out all night 

Zerozaki saying “would any girl go that far to learn the address of a random guy? You might not put it past a guy but this is a girl” and then he smiles at Ii. 

“I liked her zero and hated her zero” about Mikoko is just a brutal way to express indifference, I love that line 

discussion on why people die and mentioning apoptosis? genes? Kind of hilarious 

Zerozakis sleeping face (aw) looking like Ii’s huh… 

Chapter 4

Miiko buying antiques and just chilling with her part time job, like I said before I am her I wanna be her. 

Aikawa just licking and biting Ii’s neck. That should be me tbh. 

And Muimuis little convo w Ii in the cafeteria earlier on the in the chapter was good. 

I got a little lazy w my annotating but Aikawa jun time is always great and we got that in this chapter 

Chapter 5

Mikoko and Ii going shopping is kinda sad when you know what happens next. She couldn’t express her feelings and also ii is a dumbass so he doesn’t even know lmao

“The sick masochist freak and the sick sadistic freak. It’s a match made in freaking heaven” (Aikawa Jun about Ii and Zerozaki) 

Ii saying “What a Riot” like Zerozaki does. The foil is foiling (this happens again later with zerozaki saying its all nonsense, the foil is really foiling)

Chapter 6

It really picks up this chapter with Mikoko dying, like thats just crazy. 

Also typical of mr unreliable narrator, but you can pinpoint the moment where its like alluding to the fact that he is hiding something (Sasaki says so) and then your like “oh he fucking swallowed the cloth Mikoko used to strangle herself” 

Chapter 7

They make Akiharu seem like a real dickhead, maybe he is. Especially the ‘I didn’t believe in boy-friendships’ but even more funny is Ii thinking same-gender friendships weren’t possible either LOL.

“Im used to not being liked. In fact, its being liked thats weird for me” Okay edge lord defective product, (but low-key relatable ish)

Also Akiharu saying it looks like ii could kill someone reaffirms the damn foil with Zerozaki. Beautiful. 

I’m like way too lazy to dissect the dream sequence but I appreciate it very much. Its quite good. And its really funny that after he wakes up he’s like aw wtf I got main character syndrome and thought I could dissect her psyche just from a short conversation with her when she was still alive. 

More Zerozaki stuff,,, obviously he saves Ii from the Dark Garb situation. Here’s some random lines/moments I like:

“I didn’t even have to wonder wo it was. I knew him as well as myself” (Ii about Zerozaki)

“Hm? Hey dont doze off on me. At least give me your address first” and of course my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE 

“Yo. Morning, sunshine”. 

Just the fact that Zerozaki watched over Ii all night is yk great, like im so wow. About that 

And then Ii quips like “duh, the killer was Muimui” 

Chapter 8

Beginning of the chapter is basically Ii talking about himself and how he thought he could get away with being happy all alone, but he was wrong, and he also calls himself a loser which yeah he is but in the most interesting way

Muimui confrontation… “is your knight in shining armour (Zerozaki) waiting outside?” 

Also some appreciation for the toxic Yuri with Muimui and Mikoko!! Three cheers,,, she even says she loves her and she LITERALLY killed FOR her. Crazy stuff I forget how yuri-ful nisioisin shit can get 

Muimui: Then kill me now 

Ii: Nah die on your own. 

(Shady af comebacks) 

Cries the final conversation with Zerozaki in this volume… :( 

Also ohmygod the whole string of murders is so ridiculous but its my fave like (they way it carried out) ONLY SECOND to the volume 6 murders lmfao 

Once again theres emphasis on them talking for 2 hours about random shit before parting ways. 

“Zerozaki is there someone you love”

“Hell no man, incidentally I hate myself the most. Or maybe you” Just crazy. Its really nice that in nice moment though ii, admits he does love someone (Kunagisa Tomo) and then we see her next chapter 

Extra note and question I still have is did Ii know Mikoko had feelings for him or was he really ignorant up until the end. This guys a fucking liar through and through so idk. 

Chapter 9

Okay, so I should probably revisit that last chapter again because it puts the murders into perspective, I guess Ii had an inkling of what happened very early on (like after the first murder) and maybe even knew that Mikoko liked him then but wasn’t 100% sure at that point. 

Also really sad that he will forget her, in fact I dont think she comes up again in future volumes even in mention, the only new character we see again later is Zerozaki (and Miiko too). 

“I wanted you to save me” What a grim suicide note. And Ii probably doesn’t even care or want to remember (and cant remember) 

In a way I guess him and Kunagisa are very fitting for each other I mean he calls himself a defective product anyways. They’re both fit for each other and that is clear in not only this part but in future Zaregoto volumes too. 

Final Thoughts

This reread was great and I noticed things I didn’t before. What makes this volume really great in my opinion is Ii's relationship with Zerozaki, and after that I would say the string of murders themselves while these are great it is unfortunate that we never see most of these characters again. however that does make this volume a great one to read on its own (which I have done several times already). I guess the x/y thing never meant anything in the first place? like a side of fries as Ii said, which I was initially upset about but I guess its kinda smart it like big time threw me off too.

[verycharismaticdragon]

Tag 10 People You Wanna Get to Know Better

tagged by @mu-qingfang-stan-account ty <3

relationship status: single (as in "too scared to try finding someone to date considering the state of queer rights here rn")

favorite colors: *james pokemon voice* its lavender (but honestly purple in all shades. my life have improved immensely when i started dyeing my hair purple and getting clothes to match)

favorite food: this is so broad uh... if its sweet stuff I gotta go with ice cream because whatever u want. it got u. and if we are talking about proper meal foods i think i gotta say chicken. shes so versatile what cant she do

song stuck in your head: oughh i cycle thru so many... i guess Leia (Rondo cover) came up a lot in the last few days

last thing you googled: spelling of some word, dont remember which. i often do this bcus im not confident in my spellings, esp with longer words, because I only learned them visually and that doesn't necessarily mean all letters or in the right order. wait i think it was resurrect, i keep forgeting if its two "s"s or two "r"s in there (yes i googled it again to spell it rn)

time: 13:40

dream trip: listen this is just gonna be sad if i answer it, so lets not

last thing you read: I'm currently super mega slowly rereading Scum Villain - like, taking notes every page slowly - so that's been going for the past month or so. If we're talking finished, then pipi's You Fei.

last book you enjoyed reading: I did enjoy Fei a whole lot! As usual, I'm a sucker for priest's ability to entwine some absolute clownery with so much subtle (and sometimes not subtle) heartbreak. Also the more I hear from my friend who branches out into BG cnovels/cdramas the more I realize how special a female protagonist like Fei is.

last book you hated reading: a danmei novel that shall remain unnamed bcus it was recced by a mutual. meanwhile i regret finishing it. the plot was such a friggin soap opera. literally almost Every soap opera trope. i'm surprised nobody's clone showed up, it wouldnt have been out of place! the ship dynamic was good so i finished to get their happy ending but. kinda felt that it wasn't worth it in the end.

favorite thing to cook/bake: gotta be meringues, as long as you know the perfect time for your particular oven theyre literally SO easy to make. and tasty. I like making blini too but they are kinda stressful because you gotta stay on them the entire time.

favorite craft to do in your free time: cross-stitch, it's somehow just the right proportion of mindlessness and engagement for me

most niche dislike: there's this special kind of annoying fans that make me dislike thing that they are fan of literally just because it becomes associated in my mind with their annoyingness. (I don't know how to explain every nuance of how they are annoying, but most often it involves being shitty about something else, that I already like.) And it kinda pisses me off not just on its own, but also on behalf of the thing they are fan of. Like - it usually doesn't deserve my ire! it's literally just the fans, and only some specific ones! But I can't stop my brain from cringing at the sight of the thing. ugh. So: hate it when this happens.

opinion on circuses: im more interested in the aesthetic concept of circuses than in any real ones.

do you have any sense of direction: yeah im pretty good with it, both in "reading maps" way and in "understanding where things are located relative to each other and alternate routes/shortcuts" way

tagging: god please I always forget every single person I ever seen or talked to when it comes to tagging. Literally any of my followers, I'm interested, I wanna hear about u, if you'd like to do this say i tagged you and go off

[so2uv]

you're tuning into the jj radio show.. here are some sort-of monthly roundups!!! (but kind of last months too its only been september for like 2 weeks). idk if any of them will be ur thing but i hope u like at least one out of the 10 i picked >_^

3005, childish gambino. god. this is just the song ever for me i cant explain why i love it so much i just DO. sol.. to be honest.. i'll right by ur side til 3005. ITS JSUT SOOOO.

追われてる, soul scream. INCREDIBLE!!! THIS IS REAL MUSIC!!! THIS IS CRAZYYYY. OWARETERU ❗ OWARETERU 💢 OWARETERUU 💥 like some people wouldnt even get it for real.

make luv, brent faiyaz. CRUSHING something in my hands right now. IDK HOW HE DOES ITTTT when he makes sth good he makes sth GOOD do u get me. i might explode.

100,000 - unfinished, jai paul. shoving this song into the hands of anyone who'll listen. every time i listen to this song i think the “And when you think you know what I know / A hundred thousand light years to go” near the end wont hit as hard because i've sort of built up a resistance to it and then it SHOOTS ME IN THE HEADDD. too good.

trick me, kelis. the tasty (2003) album gets me INSANE there is not a singular miss on there for me. and this song... oh its so bad rn. im obsessed with it. like im going crazy. Hepl!

1 thing, amerie. i hear this song and suddenly i can sing i can dance and i can walk in 6-inch heels! and also this isnt that relevant to the song but her hair on the touch album cover.. IT EATS IDEK

two moons, exo-k. you might've heard this before but if not IT NEEDS TO BE HEARDDDD this is literally one of my fave exo songs.

the 7th sense, nct u. you might've heard this too sorry 😓😓 BUT HOW CAN I NOT SUGGEST THIS LIKE ? changed my life forever. when mark lee said “uh, and that's a long-ass ride” i think some part of me just passed away. that IS a long ass ride. 1 thing mark lee's never gonna do is lie!!

taking what's not yours, tv girl. THIS SONG IS SO FUNNYYY. and also very good. BUT ITS SO PETTY LIKE STOP I GIGGLE EVERY TIME I LISTEN 😭 “Ooh, I still have your lighter / Ooh, I still have your book” LIKE HE SOUNDS SO ANNOYING LMFAOO

iii. telegraph ave, childish gambino. had to start and end w him!!! again HOW IS HE SO CRAZY LIKE THISSS. got me moving and floating and ascending and dying. its serious. i love it.

and thats it! like i said i hope u like at least 1 ☹️ THIS WAS FUN I RLY ENJOYED TYPING OUT MY SILLY LITTLE THOUGHTS.. but i will shut up now LOL. time for you to switch to a different station, because the jj radio show is over!! (LMAOO OK ROLEPLAY)

3005: not bad not bad! rap isn't my favourite genre but the lyricism is great and it's honestly really nice to listen to while staring out a window :DD

追われてる: the intro was funky in a good way! love the rhythm and it's catchy in a way that has me bobbing along to it.

make luv: not really my vibe but the chorus is enjoyable. smth id put on my fic writing playlist ngl 👍

100,000 - unfinished: THE SWITCH UP AT THE BEGINNING AYOOO??! from the heavy rap to sudden vocals then merging the two is so 😩😩 i love the vibes of it. “a hundred thousand light years to go” ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love how the words are staggered; it’s jerky the speech but it works so well

trick me: again, the song itself isn't for me specifically but the lyricism is to die for. "freedom to us has always been a trick // freedom to you has always been who ever landed on your dick" LIKE HELLO??? YES I LOVE THIS audibly went "ooooh" when i heard it. the rap is amazing too

1 thing: ok the intro ok it's nice its nice. OOH THE VOCALS I LIKE THIS TBH it's so fun??! if i weren't hacking my lungs out id totally get up and dance very badly to this (pretend like im an edit or like part of a clip compilation or smth yes yes)

two moons: the beginning is very cool, i like the beat and the rapping! ok when it picks up around 0:59 and they start saying two moons and stuff 💥💥💥 honestly did not expect to like this as much as i actually do :00 added it to my main playlist too 😼😼

the 7th sense: "OPEN YOUR EYES" OMG I LOVE THE CHORUS like my eyes are open and im sat. I GET WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE MARK LINE!!!! nah ok this is going on the main playlist bc yes.

taking what’s not yours: THIS??? SLAPS??? i don't listen to enough tv girl shit i should be- the beat is such a good walking song i will climb a mountain listening to this. “ooh, i still have your lighter // ooh, i still have your book // ooh i still have everything you bought, but you never took” this right here. makes me want to- *explodes*

iii. telegraph ave: OMG THE DROP thought this was going to be a slower song but. the shift. the switch up 😫

omg this was fun!! pls music recs are amazing i love getting them

[imraespace]

i have emerged from my dark alleyway… 😈 NEW ANON MUEHEDHHEV Welcome 😈😈😈

i was studyign for my hsitory test and finished my hsutory cpt yesterday i started at 4:30 and i finished at… 8:30…… 💔 HELP IDK WHY IT TOOK SO LONG IT WAS LEGIT JUST AN INTRO PARAGRAPH HELPMEEE WHY DUD IT TAKE ME SO LONG AND WATCH ME DO IT WRONG

My history test was suposoed to eb yesterday but then he was like no tomorrow!! SO NOW IM LIKE TWEAKING OUT BC MY FRIENDS SHOWED ME THEIR TEST LAYOUT AND THE WRITTEN PORTION IS SO BAD LIKE WDYM I HAVE TI CONNECT TWO EVENTS AND FIND A THEME AND THEN EXPLAIN THAT THEME LIKE I ALREADY DO THAT FOR AP ENGLISH WHY THE HELL AM I DOING IT IN HISTORY …. it doesnt help that i still dont know how to make a theme statement … 💜💜💜💜 But i have memorized the answers for any possible questions and he cant come up w that many there has to be an overlap at some point.

i also have a chem writing assessment thingy today or something and i feel liek im gonna do so bad on it today but its oaky i guess BC UM at leasti got 100 on one of my tests yesterday AND IM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW SO IM FREE FOR LIKE A DAY BEFKRE I GO BACK UGH i cant even like rest tomrorow bc i have to work on a cpt again 💔 i remember my business cpt and i didnt go to school just to finish it and it took me 12 hours of non stop grind but i got 100 on it 😈🙏

imgonan fall asleep i SWEAR IDONT WNANA FO TO SCHOOL 💔💔

dailt question is would you rather be a pretzel or a portable charger HELPME

- 🐙

omg speak of the octopus and she will arrive..🤫🤫

OMGA 4 HOURS LONG?? FOR AN INTRO PARAGRAPH? HELP DONT SAY THAT have confidence!!! (I don't I say the same thing all the time)

NOT THAT TEACHER SETTING YALL UP ALSO WHY IS HISTORY SO CONFUSING I ONLY REMEMBERED STUFF I LEARNED IN PRIMARY SCHOOL FOR MY COUNTRY'S HISTORY LIKE THE CARIBS AND ARAWAKS AND HOW THE ARAWAKS WAS PEACEFUL AND CARIBS WASNT AND that's all ik.. I forgot the rest

what the fac is a theme statement☹️

HELP I DID THAT ONCE BC our accounts exams are literally pass papers so I accidentally found the exact one our teacher gave us but that format she didn't teach us but somehow wanted us to know how to do like LIKE IM ALBERT DAMN EINSTEIN SO I FORGOT THE FORMAT BUT I REMEMBERED THE ANSWER SO I did something.. AND HADBTHE WRONG WORKING AS WELL HELP but at the end of the day THE DAMN FORMAT WASNY THE ONE SHE WANTED SO IDK WHAT SHE WANTS MY SOUL??

good luck.. ALSO CONGRATSTS I might not go to school tomorrow as well..

YOU HAVE A BUSINESS CPT?? omg guess who does business and brought it up many times😉😉🤫🤫🤫🤫😉😉😉🤫🤫🤫

YASS THE GRIND!!! I ALSO DONT WANNA GO TO SCHOOL I WAS UP AT 3AM DOING WORK BC I accidentally fell asleep as soon as came home from school and slept till 10pm but thats not my fault! I was also watching bratz bc I was a bratz girlie when I was younger heheheheheh my bsf was barbie and I was bratz🤫

HELP WHAT IS THIS QUESTION? erm a pretzel bc they're tasty😊

[momiamtired]

i think this world just plays sick jokes with me. i really dont think i will be able to survive if ill continue to live like this. its not that bad i mean i have water, food, house, im studying. its just that i know what i could have. its unfair. i cant believe how unfair this world is. i know some people struggle much more but tbh i cant give a shit ab other people right now. my mental health was awful even before going to this country but right now i just cant believe how awful this all idea with abroad education could be. i had so much hope of going to see my family this summer, to see my cat, my friends, my friends who are able to come to my country only this summer. i just want to be a kid again. i just want to be free again. i just want to be happy again. im tired of all of this im tired so so so much. i have my finals soon. i guess i wont be able to even smile at that period. i miss my previous life. i never thought this all could become like this, my mind is going crazy too. my dad had ocd and it inherited to me ig so i always struggled with anxiety. now my mind tries to explain everythhing that happens to me with some logic or pattern and it feels like im going crazy. i pray every night even tho i dont believe in god. its just my mind trying to tell me that this world can not be that cruel and 100% there is some explanation to what is happening to me. i remember last time i experienced something like this when i was 15 and war only started and i would sit all day in my phone constantly and i cried a lot. i hated my life there bc i didnt do anything except sitting in the phone all time and i lived like this for 2 month i believe? i guess the situation rn is not that bad. i play games with my friends, i have money and tasty food and i dont feel like a failure like i lfelt back there. it just for some reason when things start to get a tiny little bit better to me for some reason everything is ruining and things get so bad that i literraly want to kill myself. i may be too confidant saying this but i believe that if i get some more pressure on my life i will do it. i just cant keep living like this. i met a boy recently and everything was so good. it was one of little to no good moments i experienced here. then he started ignoring me. i have an awful self esteem, i never had a bf or been ignored by guys. i guess i see myself as absolute trash ugly cow and then for some reason be surprised seeing boys not paying me that much attention. then i got a letter that i need to do my biometrics. basically it means that i cant go home anymore. fuck there is car in front of my house i swear to god is this is my roommate i would believe that god is real and he is a fucking satan. i want to pee really bad too and my other roommate washing rn. with her bestfriend waiting for her in her room. i want friends too. she is listening to some pop music. i hate americans i wish they all could die. why some peopel experience what i experience and some of them live like this. i will never believe that she had troubles at least as bad as i had. i know it sounds like im some kind of a slave and pity myself but this is true. and i pity myself. i guess its normal to pity myself when the whole world is just fucking ur ass like a monster. anyways, i cant go back to my country(my only chanse of being happy in this year and the reason why i keep wking up), i hate myself, i hate my appearence, i hate all people around me, im jealous of all of them even when its something small, im failing all of my classes, i dont have friends, the only boy i thopught i was good enough for and we had a good time and i genuanly liked him just ignored me and i decided to give him another chance and we are supposed to meet tomorrow but he said he will tell me when yesterday at the evening or today in the morning and he didnt tell me anything so i guess i lost him too, i have severe anxiety, i have money anxiety?, i dont know english and every time i speak with someone i feel so embarresed bc i always thinks i did something wrong or said something so they think

[crimsononiarataki]

"A village under water where the Melusine live? That sounds like a nice place,"

He could only imagine how small the houses the Melusine lived in were. They were very small themselves, so the place they called home might be large in size, but the homes were likely to be very small since they probably didn't have anyone larger than they were among the people there. He'd listen as she explained that she could go swimming there so long as she didn't go too deep into the caves, that was fine. If he saw the place he wouldn't want to go anywhere she couldn't go anyway.

"The water is shiny and red in some places? That sounds like an interestin' sight for sure. Never seen water in any color other than the blue the sea is back home, but I can't breathe under water in Inazuma."

When she started talking about seals he'd sort of cant his head to the side. He had no idea what a seal was because he'd never seen one before. When she described them a bit more he still had no idea what she was talking about. He'd eat more of his soup before enjoying another of the tomatoes off the plate they'd come on. He was enjoying both dishes quite a lot. He was looking forward to trying more dishes as time passed while he visited too. He wouldn't speak until he finished swallowing.

"I dunno what a seal is, pretty sure there aren't any back home in Inazuma."

Given the severe storms he was more than likely correct about that, seals likely wouldn't like the tingling the Electro in the air would likely cause them at any point. As she talked about another place he'd hum, not sure what she was speaking of, he'd only just arrived in Fontaine so he'd have no idea what the Fortress of Meropide was, or that she was talking about it at all.

"Uhh, well if they say it's not safe for ya to go near then it's more than likely true. I dunno what could make it dangerous or anythin' myself since I have no idea what you're talkin' about but I'm sure they have a good reason."

He'd eventually finish his food and hum softly. Fontainian dishes were really tasty, and knowing that there wasn't soy in any of the dishes was nice.

Niananian’s eyes sparkled with excitement, and she took up her spoon with renewed determination, quickly but carefully finishing her soup in big, happy bites. She chatted excitedly between spoonfuls, the words spilling out with her usual cheer and unbridled energy. “There this place I love to swim, Itto! It’s called the… um… Mer–Meruseea Village!” she said, scrunching her nose a little at the tricky name before her face brightened. “It a big village under water, and where the Meloos live!"

“They all really nice, and they say I can swim with them anytime, as long as I don’t go too deep down caves… But I love it! They got lotsa pretty rocks and fish that sparkle, like the water’s all shiny red in places!”

She paused to slurp another spoonful, her eyes lighting up as she continued. “And then, another spot, full of seals! There’s sooo many! They chubby and wiggly and always do funny things with their flippers—like waving.” She let out a little giggle at the thought of the playful seals. “Sometimes they let me swim next to them, and it feels like a big race!”

As she reached the last of her soup, her face scrunched a little with a thoughtful frown. “There another place too, Itto, but I can’t go there much… It’s by Dada’s big, big house… um, Mer-ro…Mer-ropee?” She struggled a bit, scrunching her nose. “Dada’s friends call it that, but sometimes they catch me when I try to go there... and they say, ‘Little Miss Nian, it not safe!’ and then Nian gotta go somewhere else.” She sighed, tapping her fingers lightly on the table as if the rule was just a little unfair. “But it’s got such pretty fish! And the water’s all nice and deep…”

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning (or day or evening), lovie!! its your prodigal muning. im so sorry i didnt answer you yesterday TT i really am soso sorry TT ive started reading your message ans then the classes, then my focusing attention problems, then homework and these problems with attention and poof! its already 5 a.m. and i realise oh fuck i havent answered you TT and i still overslept today TT but its ok i managed to come on time. oooh its cute to know youve got your love for music from your mom. im sure you look just as cute playing piano as this kitty in the gif) sure your mom wanted the best but im sorry for your trauma. i believe in your skills. since you attached this gif with 13th doctor who, im now thinking about her being the most similar to matts doctor.. you should see yourself :) 'WHY AM I CRUEL THIS TIME' deprive people of your gorgeous voice 'its so much easier to believe in God than yourself' sounds.. yk sincere and so deeply thoughtful like in these films where a persons going to die in a day and needs to live the whole life in this restricted time. in the best way possible. sounds good. it seems like all people from the south are so... warm? shdjd sorry. no but really. all of you have so chilly and kinda hippie vibes. it sounds so real and so true but i really cant imagine myself giving this world so much love. your so lovie-lovie and its so cute and right. love can save the world. приятного аппетита. 24/7. 'in my head its canon' is it time for me to say smth like i have a vodka-gun and a domesticated bear?... owww all your dishes look so good and tasty, i like the pics fhdjs. wowoow ginataang looks really good. and its interesting too learn its like.. etymology. and even more when youre reasoning it yourself. 'ITS ULAM AND ITS WHAT WE EAT WITH RICE' smth like main dish?.. not like i think you dont know this word but im trying to understand.. like the main.. not sweet dish before the dessert? its cute to learn the difference, thanks for your efforts and explainings, hottie-cutie! i like learning what your fav food is too hdjfk. and about this food too. this thing about saying things twice TT cute actually most of the ingredients you mention are so unusual to me that i have to search for each one of them... 'you know that right?' I KNOW NOTHING TT but alright i still have google... sorry but 'nata de coco' sounds so bossy. fjdhdhs SORRY. i dont want to sound so childish but its my first thought. tbh i used to hate coconuts... now i feel neutral, not like coconuts are common here anyway... i feel like i need to give more feedback but im so into all the information you give. like reallyreally educational. 'I GOT SIDE TRACKED SO BADLY' its alright!! i like following your way of thinking!! when i searched for taro (yes idk whats it) i got tarot cards... maybe because in russian it doesnt have t and is literally taro lol...yeah i GOT confused but not bc of the night.... 'GAbi is the food gaBI is night' very educational. thaks for the efforts! i appreciate how much time you give me<з 'i gotta get this right cos she good at history or whatevah' FHSJKHD loll i have no dates in my brain. oh no i remember some that are connected with literature and the year of baptism of Rus. but its interesting, go on. 'this is how i explain stuff to my classmates' one big brain cell. i explain things like that tbh. my literature teacher always laugh at me bc of the way i describe things when were talking informally. and this cunning spain.... wow and its really interesting to know about your languages story! ig ive learnt more now than during all the scool years... you have all rights to curse these 3 idiots! like?? its really irritating when smn corrects you on the thing you know like your hmm... mother tongue??? that stereotype that americans are (a little)... uneducated... and youre telling a person their first language is wrong? dk about all americans but these definately fit the stereotype. i feel like tumblr will see the message as too long again so see you in the part 2!

MUNING YOURE HOME I CAN STO SAYING PSPSSPSPPSPSSPSPSPSPSPSPPSSP NOW

😌 love letter toime

its your prodigal muning. im so sorry i didnt answer you yesterday TT i really am soso sorry TT ive started reading your message ans then the classes, then my focusing attention problems, then homework and these problems with attention and poof! its already 5 a.m. and i realise oh fuck i havent answered you TT and i still overslept today TT but its ok i managed to come on time.

u and i are so twins thats smth i would do/probably have done with a lot of things. you dont have to apologize. i figured about as much when i didnt receive anything.

truthfully though, i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me T_T i didnt have anyone to talk to T_T i felt like crying yesterday (i figured it was cos i was hungry) but then i realized i have no friends T_T the friends i do have are from my old school and idk i find instant messages easily exhausting. IDK IDK IDK which is why im so excited to read letter from you! anyway it was also because my class yesterday was songwriting and i didnt know anyone there T_T it's giving T_T lonely.

if you apologize for making me sad, 🤬 dont its not ur fault. it was me being hungry and having no friends in that class then being sad i spent all that money on food T_T /LASHfhas/fhashfa f

oooh its cute to know youve got your love for music from your mom. im sure you look just as cute playing piano as this kitty in the gif) sure your mom wanted the best but im sorry for your trauma. i believe in your skills.

trust me i look like this when i play

HAHAHHHAHHAHH. i'm a jazz player (thats a music joke meaning you keep hitting the wrong notes HAHHAHAHA [but also jazz players do really play with like ... 'out of key' sounding things but its not out of key, i have no idea how else to explain it without getting too technical]). of course my mom wanted the best for me, but T_T it still hurts she my mummy T_T. thank you for believing in my skills. i believe in my skills more and more everyday

since you attached this gif with 13th doctor who, im now thinking about her being the most similar to matts doctor.. you should see yourself :)

SHE LOOKS LIKE A SWEETIE CUPCAKE!!! but also you watch doctor who ALSO ALSO NO i refuse to watch doctor who................

'WHY AM I CRUEL THIS TIME' deprive people of your gorgeous voice

T_T IM TRYING I WILL POST ANOTHER SONG TOMORROW and i will make sure i look prettier lol HAHAHHAHAHAHAH idk its hard to keep my yt alive. i have this cover of les miserables but i haved edited it yet and you reminded me i wanted to do that.

OMG OMG IS THERE A SONG YOU WANT ME TO SING!!!!!?????? 🤩🤩🤩 even if its russian i'll sing it for you (but i beg not like the rap you shared i am not a rapper T_T) i will say if it is in russian you must give me a while to learn it.

'its so much easier to believe in God than yourself' sounds.. yk sincere and so deeply thoughtful like in these films where a persons going to die in a day and needs to live the whole life in this restricted time. in the best way possible. sounds good.

💀😭🤣💀😭🤣 I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BUT YOUR ANALOGY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. well im glad it sounds sincere because it is. i mean it with my whole chest

it seems like all people from the south are so... warm? shdjd sorry. no but really. all of you have so chilly and kinda hippie vibes. it sounds so real and so true but i really cant imagine myself giving this world so much love. your so lovie-lovie and its so cute and right. love can save the world.

T_T pEOPLE IN THE SOUTH ARE WARM HAHAHHHAHAHH im honored to have helped you make such an assumption about us but i can assure you not everyone is warm here, some are so hot they are practically burning with the devil T_T I LOVE THAT YOU THINK IM CHILL AND A HIPPIE HAHAHHAHAH i would say i have no chill and am quite radical. if my parents would allow me, i would march during protests but theyre afraid i might get hurt, also im afraid i would get hurt but i just think its so important to fight and speak about what you believe in!!!!! LOVE WILL OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!!!

well the truth is, no one can really give the WORLD love... unless ur secretly Jesus but you know what, giving 1 person (like me!!! <3) your love (WHICH YOU ALREADY DO!!!) changes my WHOLE world <3 <3 <3 o(*￣▽￣*)ブ it always starts with one thing. one little thing

it reminds me of this post about how pets are only there for a part of your life but you are there for their entire life T_T

i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry.

so yeah dont beat yourself up for not changing the world or not being able to love the whole world, you'll burn yourself with that. a little goes a long way and you;ll find it becomes easier each time

приятного аппетита. 24/7.

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

'in my head its canon' is it time for me to say smth like i have a vodka-gun and a domesticated bear?

I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU UNIRONICALLY SAID YOU HAD A DOMESTICATED BEAR IF DEADLY WHY FRIEND SHAPED i dont care for vodka or guns so /:

owww all your dishes look so good and tasty, i like the pics fhdjs. wowoow ginataang looks really good. and its interesting too learn its like.. etymology. and even more when youre reasoning it yourself.

im glad you think so!!! that you like the pics and you think ginataang looks good and the etymology and how im reasoning it HAHAHH

'ITS ULAM AND ITS WHAT WE EAT WITH RICE' smth like main dish?.. not like i think you dont know this word but im trying to understand.. like the main.. not sweet dish before the dessert? its cute to learn the difference, thanks for your efforts and explainings, hottie-cutie!

i guess you could say main dish. i remember when i was younger during the high school musical era, vanessa hudgens said in an interview once she eats a lot of rice because she's filipino and i was like ???? mom wtf does she mean and my mom went oh they dont eat rice and I WAS SO CONCERNED FOR EVERYONE WHO WASNT FILIPINO BECAUSE SHE SAID WE WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DID THAT I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE ALSKHFAHSFASH it took me years to understand what my mom meant LOL cos in the ph when we say we're going to eat rice that means were eating a meal cos yeah everything is eaten with rice here it feels incomplete if you dont. so she meant they eat meals just without rice WHICH SOUNDS ILLEGAL T_T

let me give a clearer example ig. so in the morning when you wake up, if you decide to have idk a sausage youd maybe eat only a sausage right??? or ok maybe with bread. idk in the ph if you dont eat smth with rice (unless ur eating with bread) and you just eat the sausage by itself it's called like papak which basically means youre not eating something properly youre just snacking on it when you could just eat it as a meal IDK o(≧口≦)o its so hard to explain

ok now i have to further explain papak, it could also mean like you have a food item you want to eat but you eat a bit then leave it then come back to it then leave it or youre yeah just not EATING PROPERLY OK I GIVE UP GOOD NIGHT

i like learning what your fav food is too hdjfk. and about this food too. this thing about saying things twice TT cute

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LEARNING ABOUT MY FAV FOOD I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE :LASFHASFASFHASFHLASFHF also yeah its pretty funny how we say things twice HIHIH AHAHAHAH we do that for emphasis, like kabang-kaba where kaba means nervous and the added -ng is just a connector. it's our equivalent of very but we dont have very AHHAHAH we just repeat the word, so if you want to say youre very very very very very nervous you can say KABANG-KABANG-KABANG-KABANGKABANGKABGNANGKANG-KABA ako (ako is 'I' lol)

actually most of the ingredients you mention are so unusual to me that i have to search for each one of them... 'you know that right?' I KNOW NOTHING TT but alright i still have google...

AHHAHAHAHA i hope you enjoyed researching them at least HAHAHAHHA ALSO?????? YOU DONT KNOW WHAT FLAN IS ??? PLOT TWIST???!?!?!? I thought you would know it because its like.... spanish ??? european ??? HAHDKHADHLADHAD AD:HAD: thats on me 😩😞 i assumed T_T HAHAHAHAH i hope you looked it up! hahhaahahahhaHAHAHAH

sorry but 'nata de coco' sounds so bossy. fjdhdhs SORRY.

HAHHAHHAHAHAAH YOU DONT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL DAY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHY DOES IT SOUND BOSSY HAHHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHH THATS SO ??? HAHHA WEIRD DOES IT HAVE A RUSSIAN EQUIVALENT THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THAT TO YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i think it derived from spanish ?? idk nata = nut then coco= coconut? idk i just assume

i dont want to sound so childish but its my first thought. tbh i used to hate coconuts... now i feel neutral, not like coconuts are common here anyway... i feel like i need to give more feedback but im so into all the information you give. like reallyreally educational. 'I GOT SIDE TRACKED SO BADLY' its alright!! i like following your way of thinking!!

NO BUT SAME i dont like... processed flavored coconuts lashflkhasfhaslafh its kind of the same way i feel about bananas it just so FAKE??????????? and why ruin it just eat a banana if you want a banana and eat a coconut if you want to eat a coconut. i will say there are again some exceptions to the coconut thing but yeah lasfkhasfas. you dont have to give more feedback no pressure HAHAHAH im glad to receive a reply at all my brain is just like I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE THIS PERSON HAS NO IDEA WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT AND IF I EXPLAIN THIS WRONG THEIR UNDERSTANDING WILL FOREVER BE WRONG FOREVER UNLESS SOMEONE CORRECTS THIS KNOWLEDGE I HAVE IMPARTED

when i searched for taro (yes idk whats it) i got tarot cards... maybe because in russian it doesnt have t and is literally taro lol...yeah i GOT confused but not bc of the night.... 'GAbi is the food gaBI is night' very educational. thaks for the efforts!

well i did not forsee taro being the hinderance HAHAHAHAHAH so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at least im still educational love that for me

i appreciate how much time you give me<з

of course i love you <3 💗💗💗💖💖💖💖

while we're here let me share another food HIHIIHIHIHHHHIIH

this is called KARE-KARE HAHAHAHAH but las;hf;lahsflas i dont think it has a meaning T_T but its on theme it's repeated twice but ???? idk i dont think it has meaning AHHAHAHAH

ASHF:ASHF:AF AF:ASF IM LOVE IT its not a dessert its an ulam. ALSO GOOGLE SAID IT WAS AS STEW???? NOW IM SO CONFUSED ISNT STEW LIKE A SOUP ASKHFAS ahhhh nvm google defines stew as 'a dish of meat and vegetables cooked slowly in liquid in a closed dish or pan.'

google is so correct that is what karekare is <3

so this typically cooked with beef/tuwalya or pork but ig you could cook it with... sheep/goat or chicken but i told my mom i wanted karekare once and she was like red meat is expensive and i was like we can make chicken and she got mad at me so ig not chicken AHHAHAHA.

ok now tuwalya^^^^^^, the first time i tried it, i hated it T_T also i was so confused why it was called that because tuwalya is towel ????? like wtf why would you call it that. anyway the not towel tuwalya is apparently cow stomach (LOL I LOVE THAT IDK IT HAHAHAH) but yeah its pretty tough and super chewy which was why i hated it at first i was like YOU HAVE DESECRATED MY BELOVED DISH but now i LOVE tuwalya and i go ??? yall didnt put tuwalya in this tsk tsk L (also apparently its ox tripe?? but do we even have ox in the ph????? HAHHAAH:ASHFHaslfhashfhasfla)

anyway it usually has vegtables cooked with it like pechay (bok choy????? [i only know this word cos of plants vs zombies HAHHAHAH]) wtf google said its cabbage but thats false im ??? ig maybe pechay is a type of cabbage. ig it is buk choy

this ^^^ (above) is pechay and sitaw (string beans) YOU SHOULD HAVE STRING BEANS RIGHT LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT STRING BEANS IS

anyway this is sitaw. HAHAHHAH then eggplant PLS YOU HAVE EGGPLANTS IM SURE.

also in the pic for karekare the circle ones on the side that kinda look like onions those are puso ng saging which would be heart of banana in english LOL i think its called that because thats like the core of the... the tree?? or the soft part of the-

hollup lemme research it

banana blossoms??????? thats what is according to google T_T

OH I GET IT NOW ITS THE REDDISH THING i guess its like the flower of the plant NOW WE BOTH LEARNED SOMETHING AHHAHAH

yeah i dont think ive eaten karekare with puso ng saging but i like puso ng saging HAHAHA

and lastly, the most interesting part of the dish is that its sauce is made of (from what i remember from my mom [ok i searched it to be sure]) its made with onion garlic and.... [drum roll] peanut butter!!!

i dont remember if i was shocked when i first learned this AHHHAHAHA cos i was so young HAHAAHAHAH but yeah peanut sauce and ground peanuts but lol my mom just buys the karakare powder mix HAHHAAHAHAH. ive seen a chef on tv flat out use peanut butter but yeah it'll be sweet if you do that so my mom doesnt do that ig idk i dont remember HAHAHHA

i also ask for this food on my birthday. every day i get to eat karekare is a special day <3

end scene

'i gotta get this right cos she good at history or whatevah' FHSJKHD loll i have no dates in my brain. oh no i remember some that are connected with literature and the year of baptism of Rus. but its interesting, go on.

LOL UR LIKE ME FR I HAVE A 1% retention rate of date AHAHAAH thats being so generous tbh

'this is how i explain stuff to my classmates' one big brain cell. i explain things like that tbh. my literature teacher always laugh at me bc of the way i describe things when were talking informally.

BIG BRAIN THINGS they can laugh but if it works it works

and this cunning spain.... wow and its really interesting to know about your languages story! ig ive learnt more now than during all the scool years...

HHHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH T_T i feel you AHHAHAH i love learning stuff from people who are passionate about what they talk about and the only reason why i retained any of these things was because my teachers who taught me this were amazing T_T

you have all rights to curse these 3 idiots! like?? its really irritating when smn corrects you on the thing you know like your hmm... mother tongue???

very truly annoying when someone is a know it all that knows nothing [inhales deeply] inner peace. i felt way better about them now that ive finished ranting about it. i forgive them (still hard to type a lot of hesitation went into that) ヾ(•ω•`🌸)o anyway if i keep getting mad ill only upset myself so T_T i gotta forgive them for me.

that stereotype that americans are (a little)... uneducated... and youre telling a person their first language is wrong? dk about all americans but these definately fit the stereotype.

👎 doing uncle sam a disservice.... do you know uncle sam means america? HAHAH I only learned that from my mom apparently its a comic person thing but im not interested nor do i care enough to dig deeper into that

i feel like tumblr will see the message as too long again so see you in the part 2!

PART TWO YAY SEE YOU

xxx

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[theshadowrealmitself]

In your halfa!jazz au, i love that her montor is an Extremely Modern Ghost, like... okay, one thing that ive noticed is that people like mentor clocky because it fits so well with ghost king danny, and people like ghost king danny because at best its the perfect subversion of dan and a fufilling end to his story as a protector of His People, and at the other end of best its got potential for severe angst and You Know The Phandom.

But jazz... no matter how hard i try, i cant imagine becoming ghost king would be fufilling for her or her character arc? Clocky or another one of the older, more powerful ghosts wouldnt fit her because her story isnt one of power, no matter how its told; halfa or no. Her story is about acceptance, of herself and of others, flaws and all, and having technus, a recognizably human-shaped ghost so sure of who he is (i mean, he says it all the time. Hes technus, master of all technology) yet so focused on self actualization (through upgrades; the form not matching the spirit, which OOF the transgenderism of that!) lead her on her path is just. Tasty! - language-of-ghosts

Ahhh!!!! You understand me!!!! And you put that in such a great way!!! Aaahhh!!!

That’s exactly it!!! Jazz is this entirely separate person from her brother who would not get the same things out of life if she went down his path

(I can’t quite explain it but with the way she always wanted to go out for college and get away from her parents research and reputation and stuff, I think having an old style ghost constantly filling her with old ghost knowledge would just make her deeply unhappy, she wants to move, wants to evolve

And I think Technus mirrors her in that way, he doesn’t want ghosts to stay stagnant, he wants to keep upgrading and adapting, and mentoring a half ghost that’s unlike any of the other ghosts would be so fun for him)

I think Dani would do good with older ghosts tho, something about the juxtaposition of her being a very new (half)ghost made by an incredibly new way (cloning) getting really into old ghost history and customs would be satisfying for her

Edit: also!! I think Jazz shouldn’t have an ice core because of this, I’m not sure what kind of core she should have but I know an ice core and all that entails would probably just be a bit upsetting for her

[gnocchighoul]

The boys (+undateables?) reactions when they discover MC is actually a vampire?

....so I’m a dingus and didn’t realize that this was also for the undateables and just wrote it for the brothers, my bad 😅 Part two maybe? 👀

WARNING: as this is about vampires, it’s a little bit morbid. I strayed away from being too graphic, but y’know. Vampires. There’s death and blood and such. 

Enjoy! :D

~

Lucifer

In hindsight, he really should have figured it out on his own.

But it’s not like he’s been around enough humans lately to know what Normal human behavior is. 

So he just kinda took your... quirks at face value.

So what if you’re far too comfortable with the Devildom’s constant state of nighttime? Solomon doesn’t seem to mind it either, so maybe humans are just more nocturnal now.

And perhaps your Very Strong aversion to garlic is a little odd, but Mammon wouldn't eat it either for the first 600 years of his life, so it’s not that weird.

You’re also not phased by constantly being surrounded by demons and monsters, which is a little strange, but maybe you’re just like the ancient greeks. A monster fucker.

You feeling right at home in the Devildom is auspicious for the exchange program, so he doesn’t bother dwelling on it.

Though maybe he does find it a little bit weird when you really insist that he start drinking cranberry juice.

(It’s just for health benefits of course, totally has nothing to do with you prepping your next meal)

So what, you may ask, triggers his big lightbulb moment?

You fall off the roof.

And you just get right back up.

Now he knows that humans aren’t supposed to be THAT durable, so he stops you from scaling the side of the fucking house with your bare hands, and very eloquently asks you, “What the fuck?” 

You shake him off. “What? Mammon and I are playing roof-ball.” 

Lucifer stares. “You fell. I saw how hard you hit the ground. You should be dead.”

You laugh. “Dead? Just from a little fall like that? Are you serio-ohhh wait. You don’t know, do you?” 

You give him your biggest, cheesiest grin and—oh. 

Fangs.

...And now he understands why you want him to drink cranberry juice.

Mammon

You are, by far, the weirdest human he’s ever met. 

Which is saying something, because Solomon is literally just a few blocks away.

Seriously, despite camping out in your room nearly every single night, Mammon has never seen you sleep, he’s pretty fucking sure that sometimes you don’t even breathe, you won’t step foot into the House of Lamentation unless someone invites you in, and who the hell hates garlic that much?? 

But you’ve also expressed your intense dislike for crosses, so he supposes that you’re not unredeemable. 

Just weird.

But it’s incredibly annoying how you wont sleep. Your tossin’ and turnin’ is killing him, why the fuck can’t you just settle down? You need to just put your DDD down and sleep already, dammit.

He sits up, ready to tear you a new one—and pauses. 

“Um,” his voice is high, somewhat uncertain, and your eyes snap over to look at him. “Why are you looking at coffins for sale?” 

You sigh, a bit wistfully. “I just can’t stand sleeping in a bed anymore. I didn’t want to be rude, so I really did try, but it's been a couple hundred years since I last had one and it’s just murder on my back. I think I’m gonna just have to get a coffin. They’re so much more comfortable.” 

Briefly, Mammon considers running. 

Instead, he says, “What the fuck?” 

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “You do know I’m a vampire, right?” 

...What the fuck—

Mammon lays back down—crosses his arms over his chest with a huff and pretends that he isn’t totally freaked the fuck out. “‘Course I do, don’t be stupid. Now go to sleep already.” 

So that he can escape before you try to eat him.

“Mammon,” you sing, leaning over the bed to loom over him. He swallows hard—can’t look away from your sharp, toothy grin. 

You coo, “I can hear the scared little pitter patter of your heart, darling.”

He squeaks.

Levi

Honestly, Levi is so so happy to have another irl friend who’s into video games that he looks past your strangeness.

You like to stay indoors and play games!! That’s something he has in common with you that his brothers don’t, and that’s all that matters!

...Though he does find it a little weird how sometimes you just kinda sniff him. 

The first dozen times he nearly had a heart attack, and when he asked why you were doing it, he Really wasn't expecting you to shrug and say “I dunno, you just smell tasty” 

Seriously. Tasty? Are you Beel or something, what’s that supposed to mean?!

He’s not entirely sure why you’re a bit of a shut in gamer though, because despite your, ah, quirks, you’re still so much cooler than he is, so what’s the deal with that?

When he asks, you just shrug and say, “Old habits die hard, I guess. Real sunshine hurts, but virtual doesn’t, so I just got kinda used to living through games and staying indoors.”

“Oh.” Levi’s a bit surprised, but sympathetic. “So, you sunburn easily?” 

He’s not entirely sure why you’re laughing now, since that wasn’t a joke. He was just trying to be friendly :(

But then you hug him and he’s too flustered to be offended anymore jndcks

So, when does it finally click for Levi that you’re a vampire?

You guys are having a game night in his room.

He accidentally takes a sip of your caprisun and realizes, very quickly, that it is not the refreshing juice of a caprisun pouch.

He throws up a little bit.

And screams.

And maybe blacks out for a few seconds.

But when he finally calms down and lets you explain, he’s pretty damn enchanted, because this is just like Help, My Roommate Is A Vampire And I Didn’t Know Until A Vampire-Hunter Mistook Me For Them And Attacked Me!! :D 

Satan

Satan considers himself to be somewhat of a detective, y’know. His brain is just filled to the brim with Big Smarts

Naturally, he puts that jelly thicc thought tank of his to good use and realizes very quickly that you aren’t totally human. 

At first, he isn’t totally sure what you are.

And then a coffin gets delivered to the house, which upon seeing you cheer “Oh sweet, my new bed!!” aaaand he puts the pieces together.

You become somewhat of a case study to him. You’re the first vampire he’s ever encountered and he just wants to know everything and anything about your life.

He’s so intrigued by you.

But you frustrate him SO much.

He wants to know about how you were turned!! It’s not like he has any other vampires that he can ask about their experience!! And you fucking tell him a different story every day!!

“A cat jumped over my deceased body!”

“I was stabbed and the wound wasn’t treated with boiling water!” 

“On a dark and stormy night, I came across a palace and the owner, a hospitable gentleman, let me take refuge there. But then, I quickly realized that I was actually a hostage, and when I tried to escape, that fucker turned me!”

“Nobody put an obolus in my mouth to pay the toll of the Styx, so Charon the ferryman sent me back! What a great guy.” 

“A chupacabra bit me!”

Needless to say, he considers breaking the wooden leg off one of the dining room chairs and stabbing you with it, but the lecture he would get from Lucifer just isn’t worth the effort. 

He’s gonna pull the truth out of you one of these days.

Asmo

“My my, darling, what sharp teeth you have~” Asmo purrs, lifting a finger to brush against them, doe-eyes wide and curious. “The better to eat me with, hopefully?” 

You smile. “Something like that.”

And you fuckin’ bite his finger.

His scream is fantastic. If you actually draw blood next time, maybe he’ll even shatter the windows! 

He swats your leg sharply with a silk folding fan and cries, “What if you had broken my skin!? Do you have any idea how much time and effort goes into maintaining this soft, supple skin?! What’s wrong with you, you psychopath?”

“Don’t hit me,” you pout, scooting away from him. “I couldn’t help it! You just smell so sweet and I haven’t had any blood in a while, so—”

“Huh?” Asmo blinks, looking a bit confused. Then recovers far too quickly and waggles his eyebrows at you. “Oh, so that’s what you’re into! What a pleasant surprise~” 

You thunk him on the back of the head. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to tease a vampire?”

Asmo’s grin could rival the sun.

“A vampire?! Well why didn’t you say so sooner?” 

He’s already taking off his shirt.

“Get over here already and take a bite out of me~”

Beel

When he finds out that you’re a vampire, his first thought is to worry over if you can eat normal food or not.

He’s very relieved when you tell him that you can, so long as you’ve had enough blood, but that garlic is a very big no-no.

Naturally, you two bond over how both of you never quite feel full. 

It’s not uncommon for the other house members to find you two laying face down on the floor, tummies rumbling, whining about how you’re staaaaarving

You carry around snacks for him, and Beel makes sure that you’ve always got access to blood (whether that means stashing blood bags, letting you feed from him, or a combo of both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

He’s probably going to be the least weirded out by your ~undead tendencies~

Honestly, he’s a bit relieved by how strong you are. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt you or see you get hurt, and it gives him peace of mind when he realizes that you’re actually pretty durable!

But it does give him a fucking heart attack the first time he sees you yeet yourself out a second story window to crush poor, poor unassuming Mammon.

He also really loves how your body temperature naturally runs cold. He’s a space heater, you’re an icicle—it just works. Snuggle time is good :)

He totally compares the size of your incisors with his jkdcnkj

He just thinks you’re really neat!!!

But he is very sympathetic about how you cant eat good garlic bread :(

Belphie

Listen.

We all know this emo boy is a vampire fucker, probably even more so than Asmo.

(He read Twilight. He saw all the movies. He had merch.)

(Fuck Edward and Jacob though, he was Team Alice all the way.)

(If he can stay awake long enough, he reads really shitty vampire romance novels.)

He just thinks vampires are hot, okay? He can’t help that his soul longs to be a vampire fucker.

Just accept it into your heart. Belphie already has.

So needless to say, he’s THRILLED when he finds out that you’re a vampire. He tries to play it cool though and pretends that he isn’t immediately trying to jump your bones dfghjkjh

He overheard you telling Satan that you got bitten by a Chupacabra, and they’re known for going after cows right? 

He is a cowboy, y’know, guess you’re just gonna have to go to him now when you’re thirsty, y’know, since you were bitten by a Chupacabra. it just makes sense, really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(No it doesn’t)

(But let’s be real, are you gonna pass up the chance to snuggle the shit out of him AND get a snack out of it? No. No you’re not.)

(He totally makes you arm wrestle Beel to recreate the “Iconic” twilight scene with Emmett and Bella.)

(When he realizes that you’re strong, he’s gonna make you give him piggyback rides, just like Edward and Bella :) and no he doesn’t care how ridiculous you both look)