#i cant do this bro what if . what if i become a business major

[mobblespsycho100]

Love this guy

HELP THE WAY I CAN IMAGINE HOM DOING LIKE THAT HAND MOTION OF LIKE PAY UP. LMAO 🤲🤌

[daedalusdavinci]

📓

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

ive spent a lot of time recently trying to remember the hs fics i always dreamed id write one day, but lost motivation for before i ever could. i feel like i used to have endless inspiration and i guess im hoping reflecting on that will help me reconnect with it now

i think i wanted to write a collegestuck fic, where dave and sollux were roommates and dave had a shitty job at a coffeeshop and that he swore was basically step one to becoming a dj because they had live music sometimes and thats *almost* a club (but he doesnt want to be a dj, bro was a dj, hes studying archaeology and hes never been happier and he spends too many hours bent over textbooks in the library with aradia just because he loves it, its everything he wanted when he was a kid and it feels like freedom in his hands, but jade asks him what he wants to be and he says the sickest dj there is, and college is just to tide him over until then, and john asks him what he wants to be and he says a director, so he can make movies even shittier than johns dumbass favorites, and rose asks him what he wants to be and he says solluxs sugar baby, because if you dont admit you want something its harder for people to take it from you)

i dont know what the ship wouldve been, im sure there were times where i was full on applebee2 to the end and times where it wouldve been dvekat and so on and so forth, but i know that dave moved across several states so he could go to school with his friends and i know that he and sollux were assigned to the same dorm and get along in the way that only two irritating nerdboys confined to one room can (which is to say that theyre besties and also they hate each other), because i feel very passionately about sollux and dave being friends just as much as dave and aradia being friends.

i think it would be funny if eridan was studying abroad and was one of those annoying europeans that cant go ten seconds without shitting on america (why are you here then, karkat asks him every ten seconds) and was generally just. literally so insufferable but also had no real idea what he wanted to do w his life so he was just majoring in business even tho he hated it (he switches to history, eventually, and is much happier for it), and i think he studies at daves coffeeshop and gets the kind of coffee that makes dave think hes a pretentious hipster (he is), only he doesnt actually do a lot of studying at all and spends most of his time checking out dave bc hes stupid, and instead of flirting with him he insults him constantly, bc hes stupid. dave literally hates him.

on the side i think id want to spend some time exploring dave reconnecting with rose as long lost siblings and john and jade navigating that weird space of "okay ive known you online forever but this is what knowing you in real life is like huh". i think id go jadrose for this au and emphasize jade having a very complicated relationship with romance bc who am i if i dont make someone aspec. john burns out bad towards the end of their first year and is in his depression era

but yeah. all that, i guess. i came up w a lot of ideas for college aus when i was finishing up community college bc i was so excited to get out and go to uni and so theres a lot of like, idea scraps floating around and maybe someday id like to do something with that, especially now that ive gone to uni and know what its actually like

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

[kagender]

tell me about your orikeros RIGJT NOW

omg so like. the orikeros that i get brainrot about the most frequently r the main KOORAS members..... in fact i am once again thinking about them rn and thats bcuz theyre pretty importnant to my au :) ithink

[from left to right its: rozeze, odidi, twuwawa, rozozo]

(dis is an oldish drawing so thats why they look kinda ugly/off here....... i even redesigned rozeze n her bro a bit but this is like the only drawing that i have of them other than my big AU thing)

i usually call them a SCIENCE SQUAD!!!!! though odidi and twuwawa are the only ones who do science related stuff currently really ...... rozeze used to be a scientist but she kinda stopped after a pretty major fuck up (: and well she doesnt really have the time to work on anything anyways bc shes kinda the head of da whole organization. and thats a busy job! and i think of rozozo as just a security guard really..... him n rozeze are twinsies though so even if hes a low rank he still gets more respect from his sister than any other guard haha ..... the favoritism is real

pazaza is also a KOORAS member,,,,, she just didnt exist when i drew the pic above,,,,, but they do now!!!!

hes a dang parasite frog!!!!! and shes near damn undefeatable because of the speed that her limbs recover at ..... shes like a hydra. cut her arm off and itll recover super fucking fast. maybe she'll even grow a second one! its pretty impressive. i dont think that hes very good in battle though bc shes kinda duuumb!!!

and heeeres more stuff about her :) i think im just gonna list it bc it feels more organized that way

- shes an agender lesbian who uses all pronouns and neopronouns! (she/he/they/it/xe)

- since all of her tentacles can function as arms/hands she is VERY good at multitasking

- her and twuwawa should be dating i think. dont ask me how canon it is idk either. they were coworkers on a specific experiment though..... oh my god they were coworkers ?!

- if u cut a smaller chunk of her limbs off (instead of the whole damn thing) itll just become its own creature. kinda like an earthworm. as long as it has a mouth itll stay alive!

- i dunno what she feeds on really. i was thinking water..... kinda like a nyororo..... but i already have an orikero w tiny nyororo like creatures! thats chokoko :] another contender is blood..... so she would be like a LEECH!!!! idk tho

- my voice claim for it is gir from invader zim...... odidi is already voiced by zim so it makes sense to throw gir in there too i think. even if pazaza n odidi barely interact its still funny. also gir does kinda fit her from personality..... theyre both stupid and chaotic. the only difference is that pazaza is more evil

- her idiocy doesnt exactly ruin her competence as a scientist though. she never really fucked an experiment up unlike some others🤔 and the fact that shes pretty much emptyheaded should be a positive for KOORAS really. u cant feel bad about ur past actions if youre incapable of thinking about them in the first place. many KOORAS workers are full of regrets but he is not one of them! i feel like that would make her kinda impossible to ever redeem though🧐

OH YEAH I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS AT THE BEGGINNING KOORAS is basically just THE big bad science organization..... the letters DO stand for something but i think that its pretty dumb so am not gonna say what it is..... u can read it as keronian organization omega ruby alpha sapphire if u want to though

i would go over the other members too but i dont really have da energy to ..... rip to odidi n twuwawa u both r my faves but unfortunarely pazaza stole ur spotlight this time

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Ghost Slander

I know I’ve done this before sorta but this is the Finial List of all the shit that’s really just bad about them. the first half of each is serious bad stuff and the second half is just silly annoying shit they do. I am not apologizing for this so that’s that on that. I also still love them anyways.

Papa I:  too old to do anything. he may be strong and smart, but he’s old, and tired, and gets grumpy when he’s tired. and when he’s grumpy hes a fucking asshole. he really doesn’t want to do anything, like go out for a fun day in the city, or try new things. can’t teach an old dog ne w tricks, and he doesn’t even try tricks he’s known about for forty years. He can be boring, and he can be punchy and shitty when he’s annoying (I don’t mean like punchy as in hitting, just you know when you were grumpy as a kid and you get really irritated and annoyed and kind of just wanna have a hissy fit and cant control it???? that.)

Papa II:  Super emotionally unavailable and it just becomes taxing to try and get him to open up unless he’s ready and willing - which, spoiler alert, will never happen. He really does have a shitty temper and when he gets angry he sees red. Refuses to delegate tasks to other people around him because he thinks no one else can do it right. When he does, no matter what they do it’s never good enough and he makes all his interns cry and/or quit. for fun: he gets the “man flu” in which he will not take medication or go to the doctor until he literally has muscle dystrophy. thinks Advil or Tylenol is some hippy bullshit brainwashing pill invented by liberals that are trying to trick him into being happy. conspiracy theories. thinks aliens built the pyramids. watches ancient aliens in his spare time and never shuts up about it. Unable to use technology, and falls asleep in “special chair” at home. 

Papa III: cant take no for an answer. he doesn't understand when someone refuses his advances because all of the girls in the clergy falling all over him his whole life has made his head a little too big. if you want major fucking ego, he’s the brother for you. if you don’t want flowers, and you don’t want random extravagant things, he’s not the brother for you, because if you tell him you don’t like the things he’ll assume you hate him and decide that you shouldn’t be together anymore. sure, it comes from a place of caring and wanting to spoil his s/o, but fuck, bro, tone it down. He’ll also talk at you for hours even if you’re not listening just because he loves the sound of his own voice. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to do something else, or are tired, or you just don’t care, he’ll stop talking when he’s ready and only then. For fun:  at a kids soccer game he would be That Dad that screams at the other kids like hes the assistant coach and probably be drunk and fist fight the other drunk dads in their lawn chairs. makes his s/o wax his back before they go to the beach or anywhere he has to be shirtless. its gross and hairy and he wouldn't care if his s/o didn’t bully his persian-rug body into it so hard one time he canceled a vacation. 

Copia: He has no back bone. He’ll work until people give him what wants but he’ll never come right out and say it, in any kind of relationship or work. You’ll constantly be guessing whether or not what he said has a second meaning and if it’s really want he wants or he’s been waiting for you to figure it out the whole time. It’s fucking annoying. He’ll never be the one to put his foot down, or silence a room, or command attention like the other papa’s have, he just doesn’t have it in him. For fun: Calls his stomach his “spare tire” like what the fuck who says that?? Talks to everyone, you literally have to drag him away from talking to strangers. The person next to him at the cafe has their headphones in and he’s just chatting away. Small talk but just gets worse, and he subjects everyone to it.  rides one of those bikes where you're basically lying down and doesn't shut the fuck up about how low impact it is on your back and knees. thinks the government is out to get him and everyone else but doesn't put two and two together and still has a google home thing or an alexa, buys that facebook skype camera thing for your tv that literally follows you when he walks. he just thinks their neat.

Dewdrop: Has a hot temper and genuinely gets mean when he lashes out. He doesn’t care that everyone has to chase after him all the time and has no remorse for what they have to do for him or what he ruins for them. He’s gonna do whatever he want’s whenever he wants and no one can tell him otherwise - everyone thinks this is so fun and quirky and great until it’s been a few months and they’re wondering why Dew hasn’t calmed down even a little. He’s too self obsessed to even care what other people want for him. A total mess wherever he goes, eats all the soap and candles and doesn’t replace them. 

Swiss:  saying someone is too good at everything doesn't sound like an insult, but it does when they brag about it. Swiss has always been the multi ghoul, meaning hes always been pretty good at everything, but never specialized in something. so rather than do more to hide the fact he’s a jack of all trades but master of none, he just brags about every tiny little thing he does. hes like 6′ but his ego is like 8′4″. Insanely jealous in relationships which can cause problems. he’s a liar. there. i said it. unless he’s your s/o, if his mouth is moving, it’s probably a lie. whether hes bigging up his own adventures, or trying to cover his tracks about where he was and who he was with, its probably all bullshit. the only reason he doesn’t lie to his partners is because he HATES being lied to in return and if he has feelings for you its a little harder to just shut you out once you realize he’s full of it. He mostly lies for fun, and partly just to see what people will really believe, so it get’s wilder and wilder every time. Refuses to do anything that’s boring to him like clean or do laundry, but he hates disgusting messes so he’ll just pay someone else to do it. 

Mountain: Disgustingly messy. When I walk into a room i leave a hurricane of my shit everywhere, but if you took an actual hurricane and put it in his bedroom, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. No one in the whole church will go near his room, partly for the smell, partly for the fact of that there is no where to stand that isn’t a foot high with garbage and dirty clothes. If he cleaned his room i think a new disease would be unlocked. Super stubborn, and inpatient. He’s pretty chill, but refuses to wait for anything without getting super annoyed, and it’s impossible to change his mind about literally anything once it’s made up. Trying to debate him about anything is a fucking nightmare. 

Aether:  when you’ve been together for a while, and you’re comfortable with each other, things can get boring. he’ll stop taking you on dates every week, and stop thanking you profusely for everything you do, and stop treating you like a queen. things will get stale quickly, so unless you’re into routine, steer fucking clear or you're doomed.  when he’s in a shitty mood, he will say literally anything to you to get you away from him. he just wants to be left alone and if you wont let that happen he’ll break up with you, tell you to fuck off, tell you to get away from him, tell you to go fuck yourself, whatever it takes. he doesn’t mean it, and even if he knows that deep down, you’re still causing the problem by existing, in his mind. refuses to accept that there may be a different way to do things. it’s Aether’s way or the highway and that's it. he thinks that if somethings easier, or faster than the way he does it, then it’s not being done right, and it’s fucking annoying how he wastes so much time doing stupid simple tasks because its the way he was taught and its the way he’ll do them until he dies

Rain: A baby. An actual baby. Needy and clingy and even a little bit pathetic sometimes. Here and there it can be cute and you might feel the need to nurture him, but honestly most people can’t handle it all the time but for Aether. He constantly needs attention in the exact way he wants and if he doesn’t get it he’ll whine and cry and try and make you feel like shit. Maybe it’s manipulation, maybe it’s not. Who knows. But you have to make sure he eats properly, make sure he gets dressed properly, make sure he sleeps, pretty much be a parent to him half the time. The amount of emotional labor is borderline slavery. His attitude is insane, and he’s sassy and bossy all the time as if he’s actually in control, and if you tell him otherwise he’ll scream (at the top of his lungs). Uses baby talk at an inappropriate timing and makes people uncomfortable  sometimes.

Cumulus: Collects tiny little themed knick knacks that are literally everywhere and take up all the space in her and Cirrus’ little sapphic cottage. Nosey and wants to know everyone’s business all the time. The only person she tells is Cirrus but she won’t rest unless she knows every detail about a persons life and drama.

Cirrus: Leaves all the lights on wherever she goes. Leaves all the cupboards open. All the lights are on so much that it lights up the whole house all night, and people call them to tell them to either close their blinds or turn the fucking lights off.

[of-faunsandyellowflowers]

The IUD is bad too. It stops fertilized eggs from implanting (it kills these children).

😂😂😂😂😂 bro

BRO you did NOT just come at me with ur shitty Christian point of view about birth control

Tw: abortion, sex, miscarriage, pregnancy, and all that comes with that.

Eggs, are not children.

Just as sperm, are not children.

Taking birth control does not kill children. Eggs are not children, nor are embryos. It's clear you are lacking the scientific knowledge behind this as many many MANY pro lifers do.

Lemme break it down for you:

Sure, one could say that the majority of people who take many forms of birth control use it to not get pregnant. That? Isnt abortion. It's a tool we use in order to not have a child when we are not ready, or if we don't want any kids at all.

The person who has a uterus is the one who gets the make the choice if they want to become pregnant, or not. Not you, not someone with a penis, each individual person who has a uterus.

But birth control isnt JUST for not getting pregnant. Theres a long long long list of illnesses, diseases, hormonal imbalances, syndromes, disorders, etc that are all helped with birth control. That's the case for me. I had awful painful periods and raging issues with emotions, as well as bleeding so much I'd pass out from low iron. My iud helps control my disorder and prevents me from losing too much blood, and just plain being miserable too.

Let's also mention you seem to be lacking the knowledge of what goes on during periods as well. I'm going to break it down for you during our 28 day cycle that happens monthly from ovulation to menstruation because I think it's important you learn this. This is standard and is slightly different for everyone, but it's still good info. And you're welcome, for me taking the time to teach you too btw

I'm going to use a gender neutral format, though this information is from womenshealth.gov. I had to change the terms to fit gender neutral, as not everyone who has a uterus or a penis is cis.

28 day cycle:

Day 1 starts with the first day of your period. The blood and tissue lining the uterus (womb) break down and leave the body. This is your period. For many people, bleeding lasts from 4 to 8 days. Hormone levels are low. Low levels of the hormone estrogen can make you feel depressed or irritable.

Days 1 through 5

During Days 1 through 5 of your cycle, fluid-filled pockets called follicles develop on the ovaries. Each follicle contains an egg. An egg is not a child.

Between Days 5 and 7, just one follicle continues growing while the others stop growing and are absorbed back into the ovary. Levels of the hormone estrogen from the ovaries continue rising.

By Day 8 the follicle puts out increasing levels of estrogen and grows larger. Usually by Day 8, period bleeding has stopped. Higher estrogen levels from the follicle make the lining of the uterus grow and thicken. The uterine lining is rich in blood and nutrients and will help nourish the embryo if a pregnancy happens, however once again, this is not a child, it is cells. Estrogen helps boost endorphins, which are the “feel good” brain chemicals that are also released during physical activity. You may have more energy and feel relaxed or calm.

Day 14

A few days before Day 14, your estrogen levels peak and cause a sharp rise in the level of luteinizing hormone (LH). LH causes the mature follicle to burst and release an egg from the ovary, called ovulation, on Day 14. A person with a uterus is most likely to get pregnant if they have sex on the day of ovulation or during the three days before ovulation (since the sperm are already in place and ready to fertilize the egg once it is released). A person with a penis sperm can live for three to five days in a person with a uterus reproductive organs, and a person with a uteruses egg lives for 12 to 24 hours. In the few days before ovulation, your estrogen levels are at their highest. You may feel best around this time, emotionally and physically. Again, eggs and sperm are not children, and neither are embryos. They are cells.

Over the next week (Days 15 to 24), the fallopian tubes help the newly released egg travel away from the ovary toward the uterus. The ruptured follicle on the ovary makes more of the hormone progesterone, which also helps the uterine lining thicken even more. If a sperm joins with the egg in the fallopian tube (this is called fertilization), the fertilized egg will continue down the fallopian tube and attach to the lining of the uterus (womb). Pregnancy begins once a fertilized egg attaches to the womb. This is an egg/embryo, again, not a child, its cells. People can have miscarriages during any point of pregnancy..

Day 24 through 28

If the egg is not fertilized, it breaks apart. Around Day 24, your estrogen and progesterone levels drop if you are not pregnant. This rapid change in levels of estrogen and progesterone can cause your moods to change. Some people are more sensitive to these changing hormone levels than others. Some women feel irritable, anxious, or depressed during the premenstrual week but others do not.

In the final step of the menstrual cycle, the unfertilized egg leaves the body along with the uterine lining, beginning on Day 1 of your next period and menstrual cycle.

And THAT is what a normal cycle looks like.

However, it's not like that for all of us. Theres endometriosis, alongside other disorders and illnesses that affect the uterus and can cause a lot of pain, hormone imbalances, so forth.

Source: womenshealth.gov

So, a person who has a period and doesnt get pregnant, the egg is shed. Does that mean their killing a kid too? No.

What about people who cant shed eggs? Nope.

Beyond that: what about sperm?

If you wanna take that route, any time a guy ejaculates, hes killing multiple of his sperm, aka to you: kids.

And this also happens during fertilization, because thousands of sperm try to enter the egg and only one is successful. Does that mean thousands of children are dying? Nope! Just cells!

Thousands of eggs and sperm die every day. That's just natural.

Cells are also things like: shed skin, shed hair, spit, fingernail clippings. The only difference is that each has an individual purpose. Sex cells are not children.

Now let's talk about the people who CANNOT have kids, or are at high risk for pregnancy. We use birth control for our health.

Is someone who sheds eggs but cant get pregnant killing their kids? No, that would be a ridiculous thing to say.

Is someone who uses birth control because pregnancy would be EXTREMELY hard on their body killing their kids? No, that would be a ridiculous thing to say.

People also have miscarriages.

People also have the right to abortion, and it's not your right to know why either.

Pregnancy, and raising a child is not for everyone. We have so many kids in abusive homes, so many kids in foster care that never get adopted, so many kids who grow up with mental illness due to their parents not wanting them.

Pregnancy can be incredibly hard, especially for someone like me who has chronic pain, amongst other things. It can also be incredibly risky and people have died just from being pregnant alone.

Many fetuses develop deformities, alongside disorders rhat are severe and would not produce a very long life, or they will not live healthy, happy lives if born.

Some fetuses turn stillborn.

For others, it worsens their mental health.

For some, they do not want children, or cannot have them.

Birth control helps all these people.

I know I'm probably forgetting shit on this, and people with credible info that's science based can add on.

But simply put: birth control isnt bad. It's not abortion. It doesnt kill children, and quite frankly isnt yours to choose if people take it, its none of your business why they take it, and it's not your right to take it away from us.

And again: people with uteruses are not yours to impregnate. We are not yours to be baby making machines. We are people who deserve happiness and a chance at a happy life without your desire to see us pregnant

it's our choice, not yours.

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

[monachopism]

major spoilers (sorta) for the new tatbilb fyi

Imma live blog this bc I can't stand making a separate post every time I have a thought

HOO BOOYYY John Ambrose marry me holy shit

I cannot get over how fucking attractive

EYE-

I am crazy about John Ambrose already

I sjhe

Nah nah it was josh

That has got to be the most intense right

THE SNICKERDOODLES

#pensivebaking got me ROLLING

I love kitty but I am severely terrified about her meddling

That shits not healthy

omg Zach demsey is singjng

omg I love Isaac (is that his name?)

I am so nervous for Peter and Lara Jean jesus christ IM STRESSED

how did he manage to do that clasp so easily

HE WROTE A POEM

THATS SO SWEET

omg chris is dating Zach demsey

That's actually adorable I wanna see a while movie about them falling in love

John Ambrose scares me but I love him

that jawline eye-

why do they have that bigass staircase at an old folks home omg

she's so sappy and I love it

I love the old lady and if she dies I will riot

Peter is too much of a himbo to write a poem that pretty I knew it

ah his name is lucas

THATS BECAUSE U DONT KNOW HIS BAGGAGE YET YALLLL

omg I love peter

this is how the entire live blog I'd gonna be apparently

Lara Jean BE HONEST

I'm trying so hard to take Peter seriously but it's Noah Centineo BUT THE WRITING

my best friend lost her virginity in the back of a car fun fact

Peter is so considerate sjshsh I cant

Take a shot every time I say I love Peter Kavinsky

John Ambrose is becoming less and less desirable to me

nah they're too similar I don't like them together

If they have a moment in the basement I'm gonna lose it

ah fuck

no thank u put it back

she is not okay holy shit

her FACE

please stay with peter please stay with peter

I don't like this bro

this is SO TENSE

Thank u for breaking the ice Peter I LOVE U

Thank u FOR HONESTY

but they're still gonna have some moments I saw it in the trailer

ugh I love them

I LOVE TJEM

Poor John Ambrose :(((((

any boy who plays music well WILL win my heart

but only mine not Lara Jeans

You can't just play piano and talk at the same time and think I won't fall in love w u

BUT STOP

she belongs with Peter and that's that

OH THANK GOD THATS OVER

omg I love the dad and that lady

they're so cute

I love Mrs rosschild (Rothschild??)

she's so good

I love Peter Kavinsky SO MUCH

she's really dressing up for him 😍💝💕❤️💙

oh shit

did he really fucking

I

He was waiting for JEN

I

What the fuck

I want to CRY

I just want girls to go to sleep and wake up without their false lashes fully intact that is ALL I ASK

the song really got me feeling some type of way

I will be learning that song later I vow

that's a great shot. with the jellyfish. love to see it.

I am in so much pain with them not together HDHD

the soundtrack slays AGAIN

that cover of girls just wanna have fun is so perfect holy cowwww

Please be to Peter please be to peter

oh shit

I didn't see that coming

Hi jen

Thank u for redeeming jen

I was hoping for that

that's really cute

I like how they did that

HER DAD!!!!!

do people actually send selfies on imessage or is that something i just miss bc I don't have friends

holy shit she looks so good

I be gay in this chillis

I love old people so much

John Ambrose is considerate too but I will always been team peter

girl u can't do that your poor arms

sshdhdhshs STOP IT

Ah fuck me

Oh shit she knows it wasn't right

YES

GO BACK TO THE OTHER BOy

HE KNOWS TOO DHHDHD

I can't I'm so happy now

I love Stormy SO MUCH

These movies are so great. SHES GOING TO PETER

I love a good romcom

There was so much more emotional complexity in this one OMG HES RIGHT TBERE HES RIGHT THERE SJHDHD I CANT I

I LOVE PETER KAVINSKY SO MUCH

IM GINNA CRY

Y E S B I T C H

were back in business motherfuckers

Oh that was so good

My heart is happy

[oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch]

“The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” Movie Review

Back on Oscar nomination day in 2014, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the 5 nominees for the Best Animated Feature of the year, and while that list included some crowd favorites like Big Hero 6 and more mature blockbusters like How to Train Your Dragon 2, the largest story that day wasn’t about any of the nominations, but one film that was left out of them. Most pundits and basically any critic who had seen the brilliantly creative, immensely funny, and more-emotionally-affecting-than-it-had-any-right-to-be Lego Movie had it pegged as not only a surefire nominee, but surefire winner of that award, and our jaws were left hanging on the floor at the lack of its mention during the announcement.

Despite that though, The Lego Movie went on to be an animated hit in the homes of people all across the world, two mildly-to-wildly successful spinoffs were launched to critical praise, and the studio immediately began plans for a sequel, with directors Phil Lord & Chris Miller not returning to the project as they were already booked to direct the Solo movie for Lucasfilm (which they were fired from, and then they moved on to Into the Spider-Verse and we all saw how that shook out). Thus, we have The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, which finds Emmet and the rest of the Lego people 5 years removed from the ending of that first film. Bricksburg has been ravaged and destroyed by the toys of DuPlon, and our heroes now live in Apocalypseburg. But when some of the residents are captured by a mysterious new character from the Sistar system, Emmet must embark on a daring new mission to rescue his friends and prove that he truly is The Special.

I’ve made it no small secret that I love The Lego Movie and thoroughly enjoyed Lego Batman. Lego Ninjago was…fine for me, but I mostly chalked that up to it being very much tied into the popular children’s Ninjago series, which I hadn’t watched. With the direct sequel to the film that birthed them all being not only released but also set 5 years after the original, I was curious to see if the team at Warner Bros. would be able to pull off the same magnificent feat they did in 2014, especially without the direction of Lord & Miller. And, for the most part, they almost do. Much like How to Train Your Dragon 3, I thought Lego Movie 2 was pretty good – just not as good as those initial outings. While there are certainly moments of levity and plenty of jokes from a script by Lord & Miller, something did feel missing in its direction and pacing.

For a start, there are too many musical numbers in this movie. That may seem like a strange thing to say about a Lego movie, especially as a critique to start with over something more significant, but that’s exactly my point. It doesn’t make much sense until one realizes that the studio fell so in love with what worked in the original that they just decided to do that again – but a lot more. Sure, the original film this one is following had an iconic original theme song, and even Lego Batman dabbled a bit in the introduction, but Lego movies are not musicals. Even Tiffany Haddish (who can’t sing very well, as we find out) gets no less than two numbers essentially all to herself, and basically all of them take place in the second act. This not only overcrowds the movie as a whole, but the second act is simply too repetitive. On a story level, that means there’s less time devoted to moving it along rather than just using the same jokes for a little while longer than necessary. They’re not bad jokes, and some of them are actually quite funny, but that zippiness that was so profound in the original film is missing here, giving way to a slightly more elementary-style humor, which follows, considering the director they found to replace Lord & Miller is Mike Mitchell, director of Trolls.

Not only is the second act overly repetitive and reliant on the same jokes, the newer characters added to the franchise aren’t exactly super memorable. None of them leave the lasting impact that a character like a Lego Batman did on the first movie, and there are basically zero interesting cameos throughout (save for one that actually does turn into a pretty hilarious real-world reference joke during the third act). General Mayhem seems to be the stand-in for the Batman character this time around, but apart from capturing the main heroes and transporting them to the Sistar system, there’s really not much else to her until the final couple of minutes and she doesn’t help craft other characters’ development like Batman did for Lucy. In addition to this, the villain this time around (whose name I’m not even going to attempt to type since I’m writing this at almost 2:00 in the morning) might be a more intimidating presence than Lord Business, but she’s not exactly as or more compelling.

One of the things that made Lord Business compelling was his tie-in to the real world that informed the surprise reveal at the end of the original Lego Movie, but while the added-on real-world element to this entry in the series presents a beautiful intent with its message, the actual Lego sections don’t handle telling that message quite as clearly as the first one did its central themes, which makes understanding the villain character in The Second Part more difficult than it honestly should be. Most of the supporting cast that are introduced in this movie aren’t very memorable, which doesn’t bode well for a franchise plan. Even though the Rex Dangervest storyline does go to some pretty ambitious places, he remains sort of a watered-down version of what he’s probably meant to be, and a lot of that is wrapped up in his very convoluted storyline.

Even the animation seems to have taken a bit of a hit; in the original movie, it was made fairly obvious that everything was made of legos, and that was a super cool and innovative way to create an animated movie, but when this sequel gets busy in the Sistar system or with characters not from the Lego world, it becomes difficult to get very invested in the animation, as it no longer carries that particularly unique look. If we’re going to continue to get Lego movies in this vein for a while, spending more time outside of the Lego world than in it is a bad idea. Legos are fun! Spending time in the Lego world should take up the majority of a movie in this franchise, not a minority.

There is a fair amount to like about this movie though; pretty much all the original characters carry the same weight and charm they have since 5 years ago, and the story and themes this movie presents in conjunction with the last one are actually very sweet. Some of the music is actually quite catchy as well, and The Lonely Island come back again with a stellar closing credits sequence. While the direction could have used quite a bit of work, the script by Lord & Miller does what it can to keep the franchise fresh and new, and if nothing else, most of the jokes are funny on first arrival.

It may sound like I’m knocking on this movie too much, but much like How to Train Your Dragon 3 (the superior film between these two, if you’re wondering), I did enjoy it – I just find it to be a bit disappointing as a sequel. That’s the tough part about being a film critic; if you’re reviewing a sequel, talking about the stuff that worked again isn’t nearly interesting as what doesn’t work as well this time around or what works better because that sticks out more, which can make it sound like that’s all you think of the film. With Lego Movie 2, that means telling you that while what worked last time mostly works again this time, there are a few spots that don’t work as well, and that’s okay, if a little bit of a bummer.

“I’m giving The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” a 7.6/10

[repallication]

Himiko is a Hero: Chapter 6

Crystallizing Bonds

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"And then, and then Izuku said something super cool again! And now we are gonna go to see the nurse early in the morning!"

Toga laid across the couch, knees over the arms of the chair and hands outstreched to reach Makoto's lap, while recounting her day. Or at least the parts of the day she liked the most.

"So it was a really good day then, huh? That Izuku Midoriya sure must be something." Makoto managed to get out at the end of Toga's verbal avalanche.

"Yeah, yeah! He offered me his blood and everything."

"All Big Bro said about him was that he was 'plain-looking'."

"BZZZT! Wrong! You HAD to see the face he made when he broke his finger the other day. It was lovely seeing how much pain he was in as he fought back tears~"

Makoto nervously laughed at the description Toga gave."Haha...I see..."

"I'm gonna go play in my room now." Toga said, abruptly ending their conversation while jumping off the couch and walking off that way.

"Since you didn't have lunch, eat a snack at least!"

Toga about-faced at Makoto's shout and changed direction to the kitchen. With snack in hand, she went right to her room to "play". Play she did until night came where she took her bath, fighting off Makoto at the door again, ate her dinner, and fell asleep at her desk again. Similarly, Makoto snuck into Toga's room again.

"You really make me think you don't know how to brush your hair, Toga." she grumbled aloud to herself, brush in hand upon first visit.

While brushing the girl's hair, Makoto went ahead and looked at the lovestruck school girl's desk that had most of her non-school related and non-clothing items strewn across it. Her phone, diary, pencils… and one new item.

“I didn’t know you liked All Might. I guess it makes sense though if you go to U.A...”

Makoto picked up and analyzed the All-Might themed boxcutter resting next to her phone. It was simply a boxcutter. She did wonder where Toga got it from though. On to her diary, Makoto noticed the content remained on it's singular topic. Izuku Midoriya. The major difference was that today it had more physical descriptions of him and the origin of his freckles. Despite spying on Toga it made Makoto feel as if she was spying on Izuku. While reading the diary, the screen of Toga’s phone lit up to show the preview of a message.

It was from Izuku and said  “You cant just send stuff like that!” Having no insight to the conversation going on, Makoto couldn’t make heads or tails of the message by itself. It did pique her curiosity though.

Once the spying big sister figure had finished reading, moving the journal outside of Toga's drool range, and generally tidying up the room, she exited. Out in the living room, she was greeted by the figure of her sighing big brother removing his beige coat after just coming in.

"Yo. Big Bro. Whats got you working late?"

"Weird things happening at U.A. That's all."

"Ooooh? 'That's all'? Tell me more." Makoto said in a smug and inquisitive tone while sitting attentively on the couch. Naomasa slouched down beside her soon after.

"No. Telling you anything would just make you run towards U.A."

"You know me so well. Good thing I know you pretty well too and asked Toga about the incident at U.A. earlier."

Naomasa's eyes widened as he rolled his vision towards his sister and adopted a more attentive pose. "What did she tell you?"

"All she said was that an alarm rang and she couldn't get lunch."

Naomasa let out a sigh of relief.

"But there was more to it, wasn't there?" Makoto added, pressing her brother for information.

"Toga told you? Yesterday all she did was avoid you. Hard to imagine you got on her good side that fast."

That attempt to chance the topic of conversation was obvious. It would allow Makoto to inquire about something else though, so she played along. "You underestimate my determination still, Big Bro." she smiled. "But really Toga just came in and started talking my ear off. Didn't peg her as the chatty type on first introduction. Maybe she just needed time to get used to her surroundings?"

"Same deduction as me." Naomasa responded while getting up from the couch and going towards the kitchen. "But also consider how her school day went."

"That's it! She kept going on about her meeting with Izuku Midoriya today!"

"That explains her good mood." rung out the off-time detective's voice as the sound of liquids being poured into cups filled the room.

"She sure knows how to one-sidedly hold a conversation when she wants to. I'll try talking with her on more equal terms tommorow or the day after. Speaking of Toga, did you ever find that info on her parents?"

Naomasa returned to his seat on the couch with a cup of water and took a long swig instead of answering his little sister.

"Large sip. That means bad news that you don't want to say."

Naomasa sat the half-empty cup down on the coffee table before responding. "I found the file. Nothing normal about it."

“If you of all people found it odd, then there really must be something wrong. What was off about it?”

"Firstly, it required a high level of clearance to even access despite it's contents. Secondly..."

"Secondly…" Makoto repeated as if she were hanging on every word he said.

"They are both dead."

Dead. The word hung in the air as the Tsukauchis individually pondered all the circumstances that information could entail. Minutes passed before Makoto broke the dead air first.

"That's horrible." Was all she could say.

"Usually files include things like birth certificates, places of employment, Quirks, and so on. But all the information there was that they were dead and Quirkless.”

“Quirkless?” Makoto put her hand to her cheek. “But you said that Toga has a Quirk a few days ago.”

Naomasa nodded. “Other than that I don’t know much about her past. I have a feeling work is about to become busy too so I might not be able to look into it.”

“Then you should tell me what Toga’s birth certificate says and I’ll-”

“No.” Naomasa sternly responded while looking at his sister. “I’m not telling you where Toga was born so that you can go on some dangerous wild goose chase about a murder.”

“Ooooh? Her parents were murdered? You only said dead a second ago.”

Naomasa abruptly stood up and started walking off to the bathroom. While passing by Makoto he was sure to speak “I am not letting my guard down around you again.” in an audible grumble.

“You always do! I’ll just ask Toga where she was born!” she shouted after him.

“Good luck with that! Why don’t you ask her what her starsign, Quirk, and favorite flower are while you’re at it?” Naomasa shouted back.

“Maybe I will!”

The Tsukauchi household was filled with mutual sibling bickering through the night. As dawn came however, it was filled with mutual sibling confusion as the front door slammed open to reveal a fully dressed for school Himiko Toga. The slices of bread in each of the Tsukauchi’s mouths dropped onto their breakfast plates.

“Toga! Where were you?!” Naomasa shouted.

“I thought you were sleeping in!” Makoto also shouted.

Toga hummed to herself and sat beside Makoto at their square dinner table.

“I was so happy about meeting up with Izuku that I woke up early!”

Makoto sighed and got up to serve Toga breakfast while Naomasa began to question her.

“Where were you?”

“Around.”

“Toga… that wristband tracks you and it’s for your own safety. If you are found covered in blood again, there is going to be a more intensive investigation on what happened.”

She simply smiled at Naomasa’s warning. “It’s kay. I’ll just hide if a baddie finds me.”

“You should at least tell one of us before you go out. You really have to stay out of trouble.” Naomasa finished in a semi-stern tone.  Looking at his face, Toga couldn’t quite tell how stern he was going for.

“It’s fine, Toga.” said Makoto while providing Toga with her own plate of breakfast. “He always tries to put a tough face like that. It just means he cares about you.”

“Makoto!” Naomasa said alongside what looked like a failed attempt to hold back a blush while returning to consuming his breakfast.

“DOES THAT MEAN MR. COP SEES ME AS A LITTLE SISTER???” Toga shouted after a moment of thought.

“Yes.” Makoto stated.

“No.” Naomasa also stated.

Having come up with such a fun idea, Toga delighted in digging into her breakfast while Makoto and Naomasa bickered about it. The back and forth that ensued was fun for her to listen to. Naomasa had a strong lead, but Makoto was clearly skilled and brought it back around. Ultimately, neither the pro-little-sister nor anti-little-sister side made significant enough headway to land a decisive finishing blow. The topic of conversation herself got to sit on the sidelines, eat, and jump up once she finished.

“Done! I’m going to school now so I can talk with Izuku!”

“Have fun.” Makoto chimed in while smiling.

“Have fun… Wait. Your tie.” Naomasa pointed at Toga’s tie. “You didn’t have to try doing it for yourself. Let me fix it like the first day of school.” He got up and went over to the Toga who was already at the door.

“Like a good Big Bro.” A sly smile was across Makoto’s face as she commented. “Making sure his little sister’s tie is on right.” Naomasa looked pained as the shots to his side did not relent.

“No! It took forever to get it right!” Toga said defensively while stepping away from the approaching Naomasa and covering her tie.

“Right? You didn’t get it correct. It’s close but you tied it around too much so it ended up looking fat like that. Here. If you-”

“NO! IT’S PERFECT!” Toga busted out the front door and was gone before Naomasa could even consider giving chase.

“She’s pretty fast, huh Big Bro?” Makoto said, having risen and gently elbowed him in the side.

“Shut up.”

Completely rejuvenated after returning for breakfast, Toga happily skipped her way to school. Something did catch her eye along the way though. She made a sharp turn from the streets and down an alleyway where she gleamed it. It was the same man in the black hoodie and injured arm that she had tripped days ago. He was collapsed with his back against the wall.

“Hey! It’s you again!” she said with a smile while running over to him.

“St-stay away!”

The man shakily attempted to shout while producing a knife with fresh blood on the tip. Toga approached him anyway and just as she predicted, he tried swinging. He was clearly in no shape or position to fight as Toga saw that his legs had deep stab wounds preventing him from walking. The weak and haphazard swings he produced were easily deflected by just the All Might box cutter she had. Apparently his grip was weak too since the knife flew from his hand with the second deflection.

“I thought you said someone was after you! How come you are still around here?” Toga said, pouting and kneeling down beside him.

“F-fucking bitch… y-you...” The man’s eyes moved from the stab wounds on his legs to the bubbly girl beside him. Although disarmed, he attempted to glare daggers at her.

“Awww. Don’t look at me like that~. It’s gonna make me blush~.” she put her hands to her cheeks.

“What do you… want… money…?”

“Nah. Not especially. Just wanted to stab ya. Thought your old friends would come get you really fast so I only did the minimum last time.” she stood up and went over to pick up the knife he attempted to use earlier. “Not really my type though.” she lamented.

“W-what… you don’t kill or somethin?” The man’s voice was nervous yet hopeful. Toga couldn't help but giggle when hearing it.

“No silly~. You! You are like a 2/10. I moved you up to a 4, light 5 earlier. But I’m gonna have to up you to a solid 6 now.”

She turned around to face him while licking the blood from his knife. The face he was making was no where near cute to her. As expected of a natural 2.

“I’ll pay! I-in double! Just get me away from those other guys! They are all idiots I keep around for muscle a-and we can rob someplace! My Quirk lets me unlock safes s-so just-!”

“Oooh. Adrenaline kicked in again?” Toga commented while pushing her sleeves up. “You started talking really really fast! But really. It’ll feel real good so-”

Toga’s approach to the man, fangs bared, was interrupted by distant shouting. Due to the early time period, it was obvious the origin and intention of the voices as they shouted.

“Down this alleyway right?” said one.

“No way Unlock got that far. With that arm injury from when he got caught by Death Arms?” said a second.

“He may be a friend, but he still stole from us. Worst comes to worst, we can tie him up and give him to Giran. Said he was looking for some extra fodder by today so we might just make it.” said a third.

“Hey! I think I see him! Down here!” said the first, pointing down an alleyway at a slumped over figure.

The three villains ran over to their traitorous friend. With very little blood visible at any critical location, they did not know the truth of the situation at first glance. All they saw was their friend with his jacket’s hood covering his face in an unorthodox fashion.

“Hey! No time for sleep, you!” said the second, snatching away the hood.

The three gasped at the immediate sight. Their friends’ knife was stabbed into his neck with blood sprayed over the knife,  inside of the hood, and his face. The wound and blood loss combined instantly told them that their friend was dead.

Leaving the scene to be intentionally confusing, the perpetrator went their way to school with pep in their step. She licked her hands clean of errant drops of blood before pushing her sleeves down and pocketing her post mortem paycheck.

“Hehehe~ Wish I coulda got more.” she giggled to herself.

She arrived at U.A. early, just as planned. Instead of going directly to their same meeting place, she snuck over there instead. Hiding in the brushes she got to see Izuku sitting on the bench already. Waiting for her no doubt! Couldn’t help but take a picture of him writing in his diary. The snap of her phone camera made him jump and look over.

“H-huh? Did someone just..?”

“HEY, BABY!”

Toga shouted while suddenly appearing from the direction Izuku wasn’t looking and wrapping her arms around him. He looked shocked and flustered.

“T-toga!”

“YEAH! That’s me, Himiko Toga!” she energetically said while letting go of him and instead sitting on the bench beside him. Very close.

“U-uh…It’s still kinda early so Recovery Girl isn’t quite in yet and...” he trailed off and was avoiding eye contact.

“What’s up Izuku? Feel free to be yourself around me.” Toga said, beaming a smile at the boy she was shoulder to shoulder with. They could both see each other blushing from this distance, but it was obvious Izuku was desperately trying to ignore it by looking at his notebook.

“Um… It’s about your Quirk. I’ve seen what happens when others overuse their Quirks like Uraraka throws up or Iida’s engines’ stall or my bones break, but I don’t know what happens when you overuse yours. All- A-all of my mentors said it’s important to know your limits so before working on improving so I think it’s important to know what happens when you overdue it. Oh also about Uraraka and Iida, they are-”

“I dunno! I usually only do stuff I know I can do. But...” she cut him off abruptly before he rambled further into things she already knew. Although listening to him talk was kinda fun, getting some of his blood would be even better. “Gimme your hand and let’s find out!”

Izuku offered his All-Might bandaged hand to her. She was surprised at how quickly and easily he gave in to her suggestion.

“Go. You only grazed the skin last time, so I trust you to just take a little again.”

His words made her squirm in the spot before taking his hand, peeling back the band-aid, and reopening the wound with her fangs. Normally she wouldn’t have been able to hold back, but with the blood from earlier and his foreign sounding confidence in her, she did. After getting just a drop she put the band-aid back on and flipped back behind the brush. Izuku watched the brush for a moment before preparing himself to write in his notebook, sure that something good would come of this. A minute later he watched himself appear. Izuku stood up, ready to perform preliminary tests on Toga’s Quirk.

“Are your movements limited in that form? I know you said you can’t copy clothes very well and Quirks at all, so-”

While speaking, Nizuku snatched the pencil from Izuku’s hand, ran behind him, and pushed him from behind. Izuku stumbled and nearly fell over from the sudden movement that he didn’t get a chance to react to at all.

“I-I guess they aren’t.”

“Not at all.” Nizuku responded, offering him the pencil.

“C-can I ask something else?” Izuku asked, retrieving his pencil and writing.

“You just did.”

“Wha….Oh...Then another thing? Uh, two more?”

Nizuku nodded with a larger smile than before.

“How does your Quirk feel? Does it feel like goo wrapping around you or something else?”

Izuku then got an example of the face he made when thinking. He still found it a bit creepy to look at another him. Especially when that other him was trying to mimic the kinds of facial expressions he made.

“Clothes.” Nizuku suddenly said. “It’s like wearing warm clothes… comfy...”

Izuku was taken aback by the look in his...Toga’s?...eyes. He couldn’t comprehend the emotion she was showing as her eyes rolled back slightly and a drop of drool came from the corner of her mouth. All he could tell was that she was thinking of something that he had never thought before. “L-like… a cowl or something?”

Toga gave a single nod before beginning to liquefy. Izuku watched intently as the disguise she wore bubbled but ultimately did not fall off.

“So you can force it to last longer...Do you think of something specific I wonder? I try to imagine not breaking an egg but…” he mumbled, focused on transcribing his thoughts onto his notebook. When his eyes finally came back to Toga he dropped his notebook and rushed to the half-him figure that was on their knees and looking down. “TOGA! DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR QUIRK! ARE YOU OKAY?!?”

“Ouchie Izuku… You don’t hafta shout. I’m fine.” she lifted her head to look up at the green haired boy who had pressed his hands against her shoulders.

Upon seeing her face, he quickly responded. “No. You aren’t your eye and ear are bleeding!”

Toga wiped under her eye and looked at her hand. “Yeah. That’s blood.”

She was still smiling about it? The half-him-half-her smile was… weird. Definitely weird for someone to smile while looking at their own blood. Either way, Izuku knew they should definitely go see the nurse to clear up the Quirk-induced bleeding.

“Let’s go see Recovery Girl to make sure that you don’t lose too much blood. I hope she’s in by now.” Izuku let go of her shoulders and instead grabbed on to her band-less wrist, attempting to lead her off to the nurse.

“Hey Izuku… It’s kinda embarrassing to be dragged off by a boy while naked...”

Realizing that the situation was him trying to take a nude girl somewhere made his entire face turn red. Izuku’s body jolted instinctively and he let go of her wrist. “A-ah! I didn’t mean to! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!”

His stream of apologies to the school calmed him down. A little bit after the apologies stopped flowing from his mouth he got a tap on the shoulder, causing him to look back and find a reclothed Toga that was offering him his notebook.

“You keep a diary, Izuku? How cute~”

“I-It’s not a diary. It’s notes I take on heroes and the Quirks of other classmates. All of their Quirks are just so great I can’t help but write about them...” he trailed off in embarasment.

“That’s a diary! Writing about stuff you see in others huh? Imma write mine like this too!” she stated in a proud tone.

“Thanks.” he responded, unsure if that was a compliment of some kind. “Are you still bleeding though? We need to go see Recovery Girl anyways.”

“I wish! Blood is way cute.”

Blood? Cute? “Sorry for suggesting forcing your Quirk. It was selfish of me.”

“You can make up for it, you know.”

“I will! Anything.” he nodded, feeling better at the prospect of making it up to her somehow.  

“Give me some more of your blood.” she said while going to pick up their backpacks from the bench.

“Except that.”

“Then cover yourself in blood!” she responded jumping up and down.

“N-not that either.”

“Awww come on! You would look super cool and cute that way!”

Izuku tried refuting the ‘compliments’ from Toga as she delivered him his backpack.

“Lead the way, Izuku.”

As the two made their way to to their Nurse’s office, Toga asked Izuku lots of idle chatter questions. Things like their favorite color, favorite foods, and so on. Izuku answered all of them while instead focusing on other things.

“She seems so friendly now, but the first time we met she tried to attack me. Why…? The look in her eyes is calmer now when compared to that first day of school. But why…?” Izuku pondered amidst their conversation.

His thoughts were shelved once they reached the door to the nurse’s office. Toga stood behind Izuku and followed him in when he opened the door.

“Recovery Girl?” Izuku asked to the room.

Sure enough, Recovery Girl, was seated at her desk near the entrance to the Nurse’s Office.

“It’s good to see you for once without a grave injury. Please, come in.”

“Thank you.” Izuku bowed to her then did so. Toga followed suit and shut the door behind them.

“Now then. What brings you two here?” Recovery Girl asked, giving the two students her full attention by facing them.

Izuku began speaking after looking back to see Toga staring at Recovery Girl. “Toga really wants to develop her Quirk that lets her transform into other people but in order to do that she needs blood. Preferably lots of different kinds of blood, so I was thinking that maybe if she worked with you and helped out around then”

Izuku focused on saying all the words he practiced yesterday afternoon to repeat to Recovery Girl. Had to make sure he got across everything.

“Stop, stop, stop. Midoriya. You’re scaring the girl.” Recovery Girl interrupted.

“Huh? I’m…” he stopped on a dime and turned around to look at Toga.

“Y-you’re doing great Izuku. Keep going...” she muttered out, obviously nervous. And also...

“Toga… You aren’t smiling anymore. You were smiling all this morning but now… I said something wrong then. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so pushy...”

“N-no! You’re great Izuku it’s just… just...” Toga’s fidgety glance fell onto Recovery Girl for a moment before returning to Izuku.

“What? She clearly just looked at Recovery Girl right now. Is she… afraid of Recovery Girl or something?”

“Recovery Girl would never hurt a fly!” Izuku said running over to her, and wrapping his arm around her in a chummy kind of way.

“What are you-” Recovery Girl started but Izuku continued.

“One time there was a villain with a Quirk that could use the spirits of swords called Thousand Cuts. He incapacitated 10 heroes easily by cutting them up and stabbing everywhere! But because Recovery Girl was there to heal their wounds, they were able to get back up and win the day.”

“THERE WAS ALOT OF BLOOD, RIGHT?” Toga shouted with a smile returning to her face.

“Ohohoho. Yes, yes there was. It was quite a long time ago. All the way back at my debut. I still have pictures of it around.” Recovery Girl smiled at the memory Izuku brought up.

“C-can I see them? I really wanna see them.” Toga’s arms were bouncing up and down with excitement at the description Izuku gave.

“We can discuss the exact terms that Midoriya stated at a latter date. Toga. Please stop by during lunch so we can go over some things.”

Izuku started beaming a big smile and ran over to Toga.

“Toga! That’s great! Recovery Girl is going to let you intern as a nurse!”

Toga’s energy was contagious. “Yeah yeah! I’m gonna get to see lots of blood!” Toga responded.

“You two run off to class now.” the nurse interrupted, turning her focus to her computer.

The two students obliged and left her office.

“You head there right away and I’ll bring lunch, okay?”

Toga nodded jubilantly with his proposition as the two walked through the now populated school hallways. Before they reached their classes, Izuku felt compelled to ask the now running off Toga a question.

“Before you go, Toga. Are you... afraid of heroes?”

Toga’s back was already to him as she was running off to class, but his words made her stop abruptly. Izuku decided to continue and rationalize his abrupt question to her.

“The way you looked at Recovery Girl earlier. And even before that, it would make sense why you never went to see Vlad King. I can’t really think of why but it would make-”

“Hey Izuku.” she spoke clearly and completely cut him off as she turned around to look at him, golden eyes staring directly at him.

“…?”

She went over and hugged him. With the way she wrapped her arms around his, he couldn’t reciprocate the hug. In Izuku’s blushing and rigid state from the surprise contact, he had no plans to. His cheeks reddened even further as Toga used the chance to whisper in his ear.

“Thanks for sticking up for me earlier, baby.”

And after that she flashed him a large smile,  giggled, and skipped off to class leaving the stunned Izuku to think about what she said.

Arriving in her class early for the second time, she strode right over to her seat and began aggressively tapping her index finger on the shoulder of the boy in the seat infront of her. A full minute passed before he responded.

“You really aren’t going to stop it seems.” Shinso said with a slight sigh before turning around to look at her.

“Hey, hey Shinso. What is a vice president supposed to do?”

“You didn’t seem interested in the position yesterday.”

“Im super hype because Izuku was absolutely lovely today~. You should have seen him! The way he-”

“Stop.” Shinso cut her off both verbally and with his hand. “I don’t need to hear your swooning. Your job is to help me.”

“Kay! What’s your job then?”

“To ease the worries of the class and make them feel at home for the time being.”

Toga propped her head to the side with one arm and glared at him. “Eeeeh? That’s weird.” she said in a sly tone. “How come you made everyone nervous yesterday by saying you were gonna use them as stepping stones? That’s totally the opposite.”

“Then help me, Ms. Vice President.” Shinso glared at Toga. That slight annoyance in his look made her smirk. “Go talk to someone in class. Make sure they are fine.”

Toga stuck her tongue out playfully then stood up. “Imma go talk to the cutest person in class first!”

“I worry about what you find cute.”

“Nah! I’ve got great taste! Watch this Shinso!”

Toga purveyed the class, looking for the cutest person. She was determined to show off to Shinso and to go make a new friend. Once she spotted her target, she made a beeline to their desk and slammed her hands down once she got there.

“HI! IM HIMIKO TOGA, YOUR VICE PRESIDENT! YOU’RE THE CUTEST PERSON IN THE CLASS SO LET’S BE FRIENDS!”

The person Toga went up to see was indeed who she deemed the cutest. Short-ish hair, pale skin, nervous demeanor, white spirals to the center of their blue eyes, and to top it all off a blue gear as a hairclip. Absolutely adorable~ Only think that could make it better was a splash of blood.

“E-eh? U-um...” they stuttered and jumped at Toga’s appearance.

Her assault did not stop though. “Hey, hey. What’s your name? Is it Mawaru? You totally give off a Mawaru kinda vibe.”

"W-well that's close, but..."

"Hey Mawa! What're your hobbies. I like stabbing stuff. Do you like stabbing too?"

"I-I suppose in sewing theres alot of-"

"WOAH! YOU CAN SEW? Hey, hey can you make me a doll? I really really want one."

"I-I do take commissions but really there are much better people to-"

"I'll pay! Right now even!"

"Stop this." Shinso said, breaking up their conversation as he walked over. "I said ease worries, not harass. He looks like he is about to fall apart.”

Toga listened to what Shinso said carefully and looked over Mawa. Her new friend did seem on the verge of breaking apart based on how much he was shaking.

"Wait a minute Shinso... Did you just say he?" she turned around to look at the purple haired boy.

"You should have paid more attention on the first day of school."

Toga quickly dropped to her knees to look under the desk at Mawa's legs.

"Mawa's totally got a skirt and thigh highs!"

"A-about that..." Mawa spoke up in a timid manner while pulling his skirt further down and blushing.

"You wear 'em because its cute right?" Toga blurted out while standing up, once again interrupting Mawa.

"Toga. Not everyone is as simple minded as you." Shinso said in response.

"She's right. I do think it looks... cute..." Mawa covered his face with his hands after responding.

Toga was grinning smugly from ear to ear at Shinso while he was searching for a response.

"Cuteness wins again Shinso~. Cuteness always wins in the end." she gloated.

"W...what did Midnight say about your uniform? Knowing that perveted teacher she probably commented." Shinso mumbled out trying to change the topic. Toga caught onto Shinso's intentions however and was definitely not going to let him do it. Before words could exit Toga's agape mouth the topic of conversation herself spoke.

"Of course I gave him the ok on wearing the female uniform. I even recommended it. Boys have full rights to look absolutely adorable. More than rights even! I DEMAND IT! ALL MY STUDENTS WILL BE ADORABLE OR HANDSOME OR BOTH!"

The entire classroom's focus was drawn to the megalomaniacal statement coming from their homeroom teacher.

"Ahem. That will come later. All you little chicks have plenty of time to grow. But for now, homeroom!"

And with the crack of a whip, class began for 1-C. From then until class let out for lunch Shinso and Mawa diligently took notes while Toga daydreamed about other things like Izuku. The only time she focused on something in the room was when the teacher left. Right after, she made a beeline to Mawa's desk. As soon as she got close, he quickly shut his notebook and looked up at her.

"H-hello again, Toga. D-did you need something?" he mumbled out.

She took note of, but ignored, how nervous he looked. "You said you can make dolls right? What can I get for this?" She slammed down 5000 yen ontop his notebook.

"A-as I said earlier... There are people much better than me in the support department s-so perhaps you should look around there."

"Nope!" she instantly responded. "You dress yourself cute and you look like a doll so I know you can make cute dolls."

She took the chance to continue after telling her off-guard and at a loss for words he was.

"Can you make one based on a person?"

"I-I suppose... I have never had a commission like that before. Usually its animals or fictional characters."

"Kay! I'll send you the pictures later. That good Mawa?"

"Y-yes..."

Shinso once again came over to disrupt the conversation going on between the two. "Toga. Stop bullying him."

"I'm not! We were talking about dolls." Toga said, pouting at Shinso.

"Sorry again about yesterday, Mr. Shinso." Mawa suddenly said, getting up and bowing towards Shinso.

"No need to be so formal."

"S-sorry." Mawa apologized again and doubled down with bowing.

"WAIT! Is Mawa the one that knocked you out yesterday Shinso? That means he is way stronger than you, right?" Toga exclaimed after having a sudden lightbulb moment.

“I-I should explain properly… Really, Shinso is much stronger and healthier than me it was just a fluke.” Mawa gave his stuttery reply while undoing his gear hairclip and holding it in his palm. After a moment, it began slowly spinning in a circle.

Quirk: Spin. He can cause anything that touches his skin to stop or start spinning! The bigger and longer the spin, the more dizzy he gets!

“Woah! Do you love your Quirk?”

Mawa was once again visibly taken aback by Toga’s question. “L-love…? I-I mean… really I’m no good with it… m-my cousin is so much better he even made it into the Hero course and all...” he trailed off.

While he was talking Toga scribbled her phone number on the cover of his notebook. “That didn’t answer my question. But I’ll ask again later. Call me, kay?” Toga grabbed her backpack and darted out of the room once she finished her piece. Shinso bowed in apology to Mawa.

“Sorry about her. Let me know if she bothers you again. As Vice President, she shouldn’t be causing you issue like that.”

“N-no, really Shinso. Don’t bow. Toga’s fine! And k-kinda inspirational with how she acts. The way she stood up to you and all...” he twiddled his fingers.

“Suit yourself.” Shinso stated before walking off and returning to his own business.

Everything going right in her day, Toga ran all the way to the nurse’s office without delay. And there she stood, looking at things on her phone until Izuku came carrying two plates of curry.

“I didn’t know what you like so I just got it plain.”

“If it’s from you, baby, then I’ll treasure every bite.” she said with hearts in her eyes as she graciously took the plate from him before following him in. The two students were greeted by a projector aimed at the far wall and two chairs in the center of the room. Recovery Girl herself was standing beside the projector.

The nurse greeted them with a smile. “Come in, come in! Sit down and feel at home.”

“O-okay.” Izuku responded before stepping in.

Toga looked between the smiling Recovery Girl and slightly apprehensive Izuku to try and get a feel of the room. After a deep breath Izuku sat in the rightmost chair. Toga followed and sat in the leftmost chair, scooting it closer to his.

“Before you two start eating, let me ask a question. What is the first thing you do when someone is covered in blood?”

“Move them somewhere safer and call for help.” Izuku said.

“Check if they’re dead.” Toga said.

Both of the students received brisk hits to the shins from the nurse’s large syringe.

“Wrong! The first thing you do is check the injury and react as soon as you can. There is nothing worse than providing the incorrect treatment. Now then, for certain injuries...” Recovery Girl continued with the aid of the projector to show close ups on many different scrapings and wounds. Toga was into it like no other school lesson she had ever experienced before. She was scarfing down her food all the while. Izuku on the other hand could barely get past a few bites as he looked at the slides with his eyes widened.

“Sorry Recovery Girl but… I can’t...”

Toga looked over at the now pale Izuku.

“I’ll finish your food for you.” she said having finished her own and reaching for his plate.

“There’s hero training right after this so I should be sure to eat up. I-I have to bow out. Sorry, Toga.” After finishing explaining his reasoning he ran out of the room. Toga wanted him to stay, but based on the look on his face she wouldn’t have been able to get him to do so easily.

“I expected him to run off sooner. But now then, Toga. I’ll show you some basics now and then you can change into your uniform after school.”

“Uniform?” her buns and ears perked up at that word.

“A cute one, if I do say so myself.”

“Continue, Recov Girl.” Toga said with newfound determination at merely the utterance of the idea of a cute uniform.

With hopes to get a cute new outfit to be added to her arsenal and a lesson full of other cute things, Toga listened intently on Recovery Girl’s teachings. When the lesson was over she ran back to spy on Izuku in his classroom for a short while before going to her own classroom for the afternoon lessons. On the good side it was her favorite class, P.E. On the bad side, it was taught by Vlad King. She kept her distance from him so he wouldn’t try to strike up the same conversation from yesterday. During the class however, Toga couldn’t help jumping around and ending up doing the best in the class by a fair margin. Even though she didn’t like drawing the attention of large groups, she couldn’t help it. That’s why she was thankful when a tall and muscular boy adorned in full body white armor except for the head appeared. Toga recognized his face as that of Tenya Iida.

“SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION BUT MR. VLAD KING! IT’S DIRE!”

Even though he opened with an apology and was some feet away from the P.E. grounds, his voice boomed and commanded the attention of the entire class.

“Calm down and speak clearly. What’s going on?” Vlad King responded immediately and met Iida outside of earshot of the rest of the class. Ever curious, Toga kept her distance and tried to read the lips of Iida. She never learned how to do it well so she could only make out a few words at her distance. Villains. Help. All Might. Emergency. Once they finished talking, Vlad King issued a command to the class.

“Get dressed and return to the classroom! Wait there until further instructions!”

After that the two adorned in hero attire bursted into a sprint through the class. Murmurs and questions about what was going on started spreading around as the class clumped together and began to worry.

“Don’t worry about it. Our teacher just said to return to class, so that’s all we have to do to be safe.”

Shinso’s frank and brief statement helped quell the rising tensions of his class. Toga went and patted him on the back. Literally.

“Hey hey. Nice Shinso. You’ve got it handled right? So Imma go ahead then~”

Toga got a few steps away from him before his hand rose to her shoulder to stop her.

“Where are you going? Don’t be a nuisance for the teachers right now.”

“To the nurse’s office~”

“Why? Are you hurt?”

“Nope! But someone else might be.”

She shook off Shinso’s hand before moving out with excitement and pep in her step at what she might get to see. Even though she had no way of knowing, she was correct to think that she would get to see injuries. The beginning sparks of a war were alighted at the place where Class 1-A was supposed to be merely practicing. The efforts of 3 injured teachers and the mostly uninjured class pushed back the assault in the end. Eraserhead and Thirteen were taken to a professional hospital under urgent care while All Might and Izuku received kisses from Recovery Girl. Given a small errand to run in the meanwhile, Toga missed the kisses. From Recovery Girl’s testimony Toga came to learn that All Might only needed a kiss and left early while Mr. Skeleton received greater injuries and would be staying to be patched up. Izuku on the other had succumbed to exhaustion and passed out from the healing performed. When he finally woke, his head rolled around his pillow. To his right was the skeletal figure of who he knew was All Might, obscured by a white curtain. To his left was something that startled him. It was Toga, kneeled down by his bedside with her agape mouth and heavily blushing face right at his bedside. He was very afraid of the look she was giving him, noting that it was very similar to the look she originally gave him when they first met.

“Hey Izuku… Your sleeping face is really cute.” she whispered to him in a way that made his face red and sent chills down his spine. Before Izuku could give a response to the situation, she shot up like a bullet. “Hey Recov Girl! Izuku’s awake now!”

“Good, good. Make sure he doesn’t have any lingering pain anywhere.” responded the voice of Recovery Girl from somewhere past All Might. Toga’s gaze fell down on Izuku and she giggled. Izuku just then realized her outfit. He recognized it as a much older design of Recovery Girl’s outfit that was much closer to a typical nurse’s outfit. The major differences were the plus sign aesthetic, main white color, and thigh length skirt. What a rare piece of hero history he found himself looking at.

“Hey Izuku~. Where ya starin at?” Toga said, refocusing his attention on her face before she spun around a few times. “Like it? Really cute huh?” she aggressively asked leaving no room for an answer and getting closer with every question. “Wanna see more?”

“M...more?” his voice croaked under the pressure Toga created.

“Yeah. Right after I check out your body.”

“M-my body?”

“Yeah! For pain, like Recovery Girl said?”

“O-oh right, right.” Izuku said, letting out the tension aroused in his body with a forced sigh to relax.

“Hehehe. What did you think I meant~” she pondered with a sly smile while checking over Izuku’s body to ensure he was okay. Izuku spent the time stuttering out responses that caused the man a bed over to chuckle. The chuckle stopped at the sound of the clinic’s door opening a few minutes later. Toga moved the obscuring curtain so the two students could see who it was.

“Pardon the intrusion.” said the detective, Naomasa Tsukauchi, as he stepped in.

“Ah! I get to meet my favorite detective on the force so soon and in the same room!” said All Might, while sitting up so quickly that blood dripped from his mouth. Knowing that Toga liked blood, Izuku checked her reaction. He didn’t expect her to be so obvious about it though! Her whole body was turned towards All Might’s face! Wait… d-did Toga know that was All Might?

“Not to rush, Mr. Yagi, but I came to talk about those villains with you. The rest of the teachers are busy at the moment so I decided to come talk to you first.”

“Wait. Hold on. First, are all the students all right?! And Aizawa… Eraserheard and Thirteen?!”

Naomasa released a breath of relief while taking off his hat and answering the injured man’s request. “Besides your friend over there, the students have got nothing more than a few bumps and bruises and the other teachers, All Might included, are out of danger for now. If you 4 teachers hadn’t put your lives on on the line, the students wouldn’t have made it out unscathed.”

“I see… but you’ve got one thing wrong, old friend. In this fight the students put their lives on the lines too! To be thrown into a real battle so young and survive… These first years figured out how scary the big bad world can be. Have you ever heard of such a class? Those foolish villains definitely picked the wrong fight because the members of Class 1-A are going to be mighty heroes one day!”

Toga butted in after the inspirational words All Might said. “Woah… You said something super cool, Mr. Skeleton.”

“Toga.” Izuku commented. “You really shouldn’t call him a skeleton. He fought out there too to protect me and my classmates so he really doesn’t deserve to just be called a pile of bones.”

That came out in a more aggressive tone than he intended. Insulting All Might, even unknowingly, was just a natural trigger...

“That’s not it at all, Izuku! You just don’t get how cool skeletons are! They ran out of blood, but they still keep getting up to fight. I could never do anything close to that!” Toga exclaimed to the green haired boy.

“I… didn’t think of it like that...” Izuku weakly mumbled, lost in thought at her words.

All Might’s laughter brought him out of it. “Hahaha! Thanks for the vote of confidence! Even if you spoke nonsense, just like Young Midoriya!”

He ended his statement with a thumbs up, which Toga reciprocated while smiling right back.

<<PREV  NEXT>>

[bella-edward-cullen]

Do you have any headcanons about the Cullens :)?

Okay so I have a lot of these so imma go by character lol

EDWARD * Edward is obviously like super edgy especially before Bella * He definitely went to bars and poetry reading to sulk * The garage days for sure had some underground music * I think Emmett would play the guitar and Alice the tambourine jasper on drums and rose either singing or completely rejecting the band. * So Edward also knows how to play the electric piano. * Esme and Carlisle love listening to them even if some songs r terrible. * Edward has a diary no one can tell me otherwise * Someday after Bella and him r married and he’s busy with ness Bella definitely finds his diary * She is super nice about it and makes sure to never tell Emmett Bc he would never stop making fun of him. (It’s super embarrassing) * Edward loves to play with ness and take his family out on trips. * Jacob grows on Edward but there is some fights for sure * “I DONT WANT NESS ON A MOTORCYCLE” * “DUDE SHE CANT EVEN GET INJURED” * “I DONT CARE ITS NOT SAFE FOR HER” * He’s very overprotective * That’s it for Eddie boy

ROSE * She likes to go to big makeup stores. * Each town know her and Alice to be big spenders when they’re out shopping together * Emmett comes with to tell her how good she looks (he genuinely likes it) * She absolutely adores iPhone and could easily become a makeup YouTuber or instagramer * She loves to see everyone comment on how beautiful she is* She loves dressing ness up and buying her clothes * She teaches Ness to have a lot of self confidence * Boys always gawk at the family when they’re out together

EMMETT * Emmett just 100% goes with the flow of everything. * He for sure joined a fraternity at some point and rose hated it * All the sorority girls tried to get at him but he always refused and would show them rose* Rose often came made out with him and left just to mark her territory * All his frat brothers were hoping she would dump him so they could get a shot at her. * He wanted to major in medical science but once things started getting blood into them he had to switch majors. * Probably sports advertisement or something with sports * He’s a total dude bro * Rose definitely taught him how to do hair tho * He’s hella good at braiding and doing makeup for rose and Alice * He’s not ashamed of it at all * “Yes I do my girls hair. Can you even see her bro! I’d do anything to keep her happy” * That’s it for now lol

ALICE * Alice is basically an open book * After Edward and Bella’s wedding she decided she wanted to be a wedding planner for a while * And damn she is efficient * She still shops for the family including ness and jacob now * Jacob hates it but ness makes him wear it * Alice is still a big spender and loves all her nice things * She defiantly donates all her old clothes too (and her families even if they aren’t done with it) * She’s big on volunteer work and helping others. * She’s just a really good person honestly

Jasper!!! * Jasper loves Alice like a lot * He will tag along and do anything she asks * He brings her flowers all the time and gifts he thinks she will like. * He always try’s to surprise her but obviously it never works * They r like completely in love * Jasper tells ness stories about the war * Ness doesn’t really like them but she listens anyway * Jasper gets very passionate when talking about things he likes and went through * He makes sure everyone knows they’re worth it * He also trains super hard to wrestle Emmett and beat everyone in baseball

Renesmee * got her dad’s edginess when she was mentally a teenage * Defiantly rebelled but got away with nothing Bc come on look at her family * Jacob for sure helped her rebel * She went cliff diving once and Bella and Edward lost it * “REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!!!” * “Mom dad chill seriously, no big deal” * Alice gets very bothered Bc she can’t see ness’s future * Ness loves that * She spends a lot of time with the pack and the Cullen’s r very on edge about it * Ness gets catcalled a lot * Like A LOT * and boys always try and get her number and jacob is always very mad about it * “Jacob chill out. It means nothing” * “Not me me Ness!” * He’s very sensitive. * Ness is extremely smart and invents things all the time. * Once she’s about adult age her and jacob get married and have some crazy kids * The Cullen’s r very excited to be grandparents. * Jacob and ness kinda brought down a lot of tension between the pack and the Cullen’s * They even got rid of the treaty line Bc they trusted them now after the whole volturi thing. * Ness was happy to be the peace bringer * In her rebellion times she may have eaten a person or two and everyone was mad. * She did it outside of town tho * The pack reamed her, jacob reamed her, her parents reamed her, the rest of the family reamed her* To say the least it was only one time. * She actually felt very bad about it and sulked like Edward. * The family eventually moved and jacob came with them * She has a very full and happy life like a normal teenage to adult girl * She eventually dies and the whole family is heartbroken * Jacob was too and soon died after her * It was a devastating loss after all those years.

Carlisle and esme * very happy with their new life * Bella and Ness really completed the family * Eventually someone else will join their coven again * Esme just loves to have her family grow * There isn’t many problems In the household when everyone is vegetarian * Esme defiantly goes to the hospitals Carlisle works at to mark her territory * All the nurses crush on Carlisle * Carlisle is too oblivious with his work to notice them* Carlisle is very emotional when someone dies in his hospital * Esme always comforts him* Sometimes ness does too

Bella * spends a lot of nights with Edward * They definitely finish their honeymoon at isle Esme after Ness is full grown * Sometimes Bella forgets Renesmee at Charlie’s * Charlie stop asking questions but knows something weird is happening* He still loves them no matter what * Bella snoops a lot and does a lot of research because she loves learning about her new world. * She often teaches Ness these things * She fights with Emmett a lot (playfully) and she wins everything within the first year but Emmett starts winning more in the second * Bella is very upset about this * Ness loves watching them fight * Ness challenges Emmett eventually and ness is actually quite strong * Emmett and Ness start wresting a lot more until Ness beats him once * Emmett was super impressed * Bella gets nervous every time she fights a vampire even though she is just as strong * Bella and Edward always try and protect her even when she is being rebellious * Rose Alice and Bella all get very close and often go out to brunch with ness. * Endless catcalls honestly * Bella still gets confused when it’s at her Bc she forgets that she is beautiful. * She always expects it at her family

Thanks for the ask and I’ll do more requests like this in this format if you guys want. My asks r always open ❤️ sorry it’s so long and has like a million typos lmao 😂

[robertdowneyjjr]

nursey the tech disaster and dex the apple support guy: an au

a conversation between me & @brandnewfashion

(interspersed with random hockey commentary)

kayytx

au where nursey keeps having IT trouble and every time he goes online to use that quick chat help service (bc he doesn't want to call. that's awkward af) he gets dex as the service guy

brandnewfashion

oooooh

nice!!!!!!!!!!!!

TELL ME MOER

kayytx

i'm trying to decide what products nursey's using that he keeps having issues lmao

i feel like fandom consensus states nursey is a mac guy?

brandnewfashion

yeah i can't see him not using them

kayytx

so basing off of my experience trying to update my software for FOUR HOURS at staying up until 3am bc of that shit ugh

the first time he has to contact apple support online he's trying to upgrade his OSX to the latest software, but it keeps stalling a quarter of the way through

so nursey borrows chowder's laptop to go on apple's website for support help and dex answers

and legit, that shit takes...four hours

brandnewfashion

lol i wouldn't know

sounds annoying tho

kayytx

it's supposed to be only half an hour but my laptop just decided to be a little shit

but anyway

in between dex telling nursey what to do, and nursey following instructions and waiting for his laptop to show some progress

they start chatting

bc nursey is bored and it's late at night and there's nothing else for him to do, especially since his computer isn't working

imagine nursey like, suddenly thinks of a few verses for a poem and types them in the chat bc he couldn't find anywhere else to write atm

and dex is like ??????

brandnewfashion

yesss

kayytx

YASSS HABS WIN

ok anyway

brandnewfashion

GOOD

kayytx

so that obvi leads to a convo where dex asks what nursey does and nursey talks about being an english major

and dex tells him about doing comp sci and working for apple part time

brandnewfashion

FINALLY THE FLAMES SCORED

and yes good i'm liking this au

kayytx

idk how many call locations there are in the US though so i'm trying to figure out where dex is based rn

like i'm kinda tempted to have him live in nyc

but i don't work for apple so idk how true this is

brandnewfashion

dude that'd be cool though? and nursey could be like "YO I'M FROM THERE" and dex, who just started school there, could be like "ok is there any place to get decent ____ bc i haven't found one yet"

kayytx

yeS EXACTLY

so nursey recommends some like hipster coffee places and one day dex remembers this convo and goes and at first he's like, what the FUCK this place serves out of mason jars NO

but he tries the coffee and he honestly thinks it's liquid cocaine so he keeps going back

brandnewfashion

lolllll

kayytx

anyway so like after three hours of chitchat and apple support nursey's computer finally boots properly and installs the update

so they say goodbye, it's been really fun talking to you, thanks for the help, etc. etc. and sign off

then three weeks later nursey's iphone spazzes out

and the nearest apple store is an hour away and he just doesn't have the time to go there, wait another hour for the genius bar to have an opening, and then go back to campus

so he goes online to apple support and clicks the chat option

and it's dex again

dex recognizes him from his apple ID, which usually never happens but bc they had such a good convo last time nursey left an impression

and so again in between helping out nursey he's just like, oh HEY i went to that place you told me about!

so nursey tells him about more places to visit

brandnewfashion

ok ben bishop is in net for the kings (no surprise) but he's wearing his lightning mask and it's really throwing me off

kayytx

god that's so weird

brandnewfashion

ANYWAY

what places does nursey tell him to go toooooo

how long does tihs go on before they get the opportunity to meet?????

kayytx

OKAY OK so

idk i think this happens like four or five times?

apple products arent THAT terrible lmao you can't have that many issues with your products

but nursey's a disaster so

he manages to fuck up something every few weeks

and like after the third time he enters the chat dex's coworkers recognize him also and they just pass him off to dex immediately hahaha

brandnewfashion

lmaooo

kayytx

oh FUCK stars tied the game

anyway

brandnewfashion

RUDE

kayytx

honestly after the fourth time nursey goes online with an issue about his ipad's storage issue or whatever dex is just really tempted to give nursey his number bc for the most part he's been able to solve his problems without referring to the resources at his desk

OH SHIT STARS IN THE LEAD

brandnewfashion

EXCUSE ME WHAT

FUCK U STARS

kayytx

UGH

anyway so yeah dex wants to give nursey his number and nursey wants to ask for it, but they both know the chats are monitored and that's just highly inappropriate and nursey doesn't want to get dex fired

so they both resist but like

it's kinda killing both of them

brandnewfashion

D:

kayytx

yeah like they're both p sure they're gonna die before they ever meet bc they're Dramatic af

BUT!! THIS IS FIC!!! and i love them and want them to be together so DO NOT DESPAIR

nursey goes back to nyc for winter break

and he doesn't want to be all cooped up at home with nothing to do

so he decides to go out, find some inspo, write a bit

AND THEN this suddenly becomes a coffee shop au

nursey goes to that mason jar hipster cafe to get some work done

but in the middle of writing his computer shuts down and he panics REALLY LOUDLY

and what??? dex is THERE???

brandnewfashion

LOL

AMAZING

HOW CONVENIENT

kayytx

R I G H T

he had the day off and was also there to work on some freelance coding projects he has on the side and in the middle of coding he hears this really loud person screaming at his laptop and he's like, what the FUCK

so he looks up and sees nursey doing SOMETHING with his computer. he's not even sure what

and in teh cafe there are like three other people with their laptops out, but dex is the closest and he looks the least busy (nursey is wrong. dex is the busiest, he just looked up at the wrong time and Eye Contact happened and now he's stuck)

so nursey goes over to him and he's like, "yo bro can i borrow your laptop to go on apple support and get some help"

bc that response is just like ingrained in him now. anytime something happens he just. goes on apple support

dex, being the lil shit he is, just goes, "have u tried turning ur computer off and on again"

brandnewfashion

HA

kayytx

nursey: it won't even turn ON dex: maybe its out of battery nursey: it's plugged in??? do u not see it????? dex: maybe your cord doesn't work

dex just. doesn't want to help

he does enough of that at work

brandnewfashion

lollll

kayytx

but nursey is really annoying and he figures the easiest way to get rid of him is to help him so he's like, ok fine i actually work at apple i'll help you

brandnewfashion

wow

the pens are gonna lose

to the STARS

kayytx

.....that's so depressing

brandnewfashion

they got too fucking cocky

ugh

kayytx

D:

brandnewfashion

anyway

dex helps him?

kayytx

dex helps him!

and meanwhile nursey's chattering on and on about how this is the first time someone's actually physically helped him with his laptop bc he never goes to the genius bar even though he probably should and he's terrible with technology and things always just die on him so he always has to get help from online support and it's kinda funny how he always gets the same guy who helps with his problems and it's actually kinda nice talking to him, and he kinda really likes him, but he doesn't think they'll ever meet bc why would that ever happen right? hey maybe dex would know him since they're both working for apple? but what are the chances?? surely there are thousands of people who work for apple

and like all this time dex has sorta just been tuning him out while he works on nursey's computer but he catches a few things here and there

and he's like

wait

rewind

dex: holy shit nursey: what? what is it, is my computer really dead this time? dex: you're derek nurse nursey: umm? yes?

and for a sec nursey thinks that he's just somehow become notorious within apple support center circles or something bc he's gone for help so many times

but then dex introduces himself and he's like OH HOLY SHIT

brandnewfashion

NICE

kayytx

and like sometime during nursey's little ramble he mentioned how he thought dex is funny and really nice and seems like someone he'd like to date and of COURSE dex totally heard all of that

dex: so. you think i'm funny. and you want to date me huh? nursey: ...well i mean maybe? dex: okay well just do you know just because we're both in a coffee shop right now declaring our feelings this ISN'T our first date okay bc i refuse to have our first date be one where i fix something for you again nursey: oh so YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME TOO?

brandnewfashion

HA

kayytx

dex: well yeah. i wanted to give you my number but i couldn't do that without a monitored chatroom nursey: i wanted to give you my number too! dex: well? technically? i have your number? because it's in our systems dex: but i didn't want to seem like a creep if i'd just randomly texted you

but anyway they finally exchange numbers like normal people and nursey Officially asks dex out on a date

but then internally he's struggling bc he basically already gave dex a list of all the best places in nyc and now he has nothing to impress dex with lmfao

brandnewfashion

HAHAHAHA

kayytx

they end up going to brooklyn for smorgasburg bc you cant really ever go wrong with that

wait jk that's seasonal so it wouldn't be open for winter break LMAO

brandnewfashion

oh gosh they're gonna become a disgustingly sweet long distance couple

kayytx

yeah nursey's fucked

YES THEY ARE

they're so gross honestly

brandnewfashion

they always have shit going on

there's ALWAYS something hapening haha

kayytx

and dex's coworkers notice that this dude hasn't been on the chat in a really long time??? and they kinda start feeling bad for dex bc they knew he had a bit of a crush on nursey lmao

brandnewfashion

ok but then dex has them all over to meet his "new boyfriend" and they all walk in on nursey screaming at his laptop and they're like "OH"

kayytx

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and at this point dex is already at the fondly exasperated stage and he's like, jfc nurse you should just give up on technology altogether

[writingguide003-blog]

'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/a-total-blast-our-writers-pick-their-favorite-summer-blockbusters-ever/

'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

As the season heats up on the big screen, Guardian writers look back on their picks from the past with killer sharks, mournful crime-fighters and time-traveling teens

Face/Off (1997)

Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/PARAMOUNT

Madman bomber Nicolas Cage stole John Travoltas dead sons life. So gloomy FBI agent Travolta steals Cages face. When Cage steals his face and his wife and freedom John Woos Face/Off becomes the biggest, wackiest and most operatic summer blockbuster in history, a gonzo combustion that flings everything from pigeons to peaches at the screen.

Hong Kong cineastes might applaud a script with roots in the ancient Sichuan opera genre Bian Lian, where performers swap masks like magic. Popcorn-munchers, of which I am front row center, are here to watch whack job Cage and soulful Travolta, two actors who love to go full-ham, play each other and go deep inside their iconographies. Call it hamception. Or just call it a crazy swing that hits a home run as Cavolta and Trage battling it out in a warehouse, a speedboat and, of course, a church. As Cage-as-Travolta gloats to Travolta-as-Cage, Isnt this religious? The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners but youre still not having any fun! Maybe hes not, but we sure are. Bravo, bravo. AN

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Photograph: David James/Publicity image from film company

Theres been an increasing sense of desperation clinging to the majority of roles picked by Tom Cruise in recent years. Outside of the still shockingly entertaining Mission: Impossible series, he was miscast in the barely serviceable Jack Reacher and its maddeningly unnecessary sequel, his awards-aiming American Made was throwaway and his franchise-starting The Mummy was a franchise-killer. But four summers ago, he picked the right horse just maybe at the wrong time.

Because despite how deliriously fun Edge of Tomorrow was in the summer of 2014, audiences didnt show the requisite enthusiasm. It was a moderate success (enough to warrant a long-gestating sequel) but it should have packed them in, its combination of charm, invention and sheer thrills making it one of the most objectively successful blockbuster experiences in memory. The nifty plot device (Cruise must relive a day of dying while battling aliens over and over again) allowed for some dark gallows humor and a frenetic pace that kept us all giddily on edge while it also contained a dazzling action star turn from Emily Blunt whose fearless Full Metal Bitch wrestled the film away from Cruise. Blame its relative failure on the bland title? Cruise fatigue? Blockbuster over-saturation? Then find a digital copy to watch and rewatch and repeat. BL

Back to the Future (1985)

Photograph: Allstar/UNIVERSAL/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

Back to the Future very nearly wasnt a summer blockbuster. The reshoots required after Eric Stoltz was booted off, then the fact Michael J Foxs Family Ties commitments meant he could only shoot at night all meant filming didnt wrap until late April. Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg duly pencilled in an August / September release.

But then people started seeing it. Test scores were off the scale. Said producer Frank Marshall: Id never seen a preview like that. The audience went up to the ceiling. So they bagsied the best spot the year had to offer 3 July hired a squad of sound editors to work round the clock and two print editors with instructions to get properly choppy. They did, and those big trims tightened yet further one of the tautest screenplays (by Bob Gale) cinema has ever seen. The only bit of fat they left was the Johnny B Goode scene: sure, it didnt advance the story, but the kids at those test screenings knew we were gonna love it. Back to the Future is a pure shot of summer cinema: grand, ambitious, insanely entertaining. Deadpool, Avengers, take note: a blockbuster can be smart as hell so long as it wears it lightly. In the end, by the way, the film spent 11 weeks at number 1 at the US box office. Thats essentially the whole summer. CS

Teminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Photograph: Allstar/TRISTAR/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

The first film I ever saw at the cinema was The Rocketeer. We drove into Bradford city centre, bought our tickets at the Odeon and sat through the 1991 tale which followed the fortunes of a stunt pilot, a rocket pack and a Nazi agent played by Timothy Dalton who sounded like he was from Bury rather than Berlin. The way into the multiplex there was a huge poster for Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Arnie sat on a Harley with a shotgun cocked and ready. My dad was a huge fan of the original but he still couldnt swing taking a seven-year-old to see it. It wasnt until I borrowed a VHS copy that I finally got to see what was behind that image. Skynet, dipshits, T-1000s, a nuclear holocaust and a motorbike chases on the LA river.

Blockbusters dont usually have that edge: theres a more brazen mainstream appeal. But Judgment Day was and still is an exception. It did huge numbers at the box office (more than $500m), was a rare sequel that was arguably better than the original and introduced really odd bits of Spanish idiom into the Bradford schoolyard lexicon. I probably would have been scarred for life watching it as a seven-year-old, but as a teenager it gave me a story I doubt Ill ever get tired of revisiting. LB

The Dark Knight (2008)

Photograph: Allstar/WARNER BROS.

The summer of 2008 was a busy one: Barack Obama emerged from a contentious democratic primary to become the first ever black presidential nominee of a major party. The dam fortifying the entire global financial system was about to burst. China hosted its first ever Summer Olympics. But somehow, and not exactly to my credit, what I remember most from that summer is the uncanny, ridiculously over-the-top publicity blitzkrieg that preceded the release of The Dark Knight, which has since emerged as not just an all-time great summer blockbuster, but an all-time great American film, period.

There were faux-political billboards that read I believe in Harvey Dent; a weirdly nondescript website of the same name; Joker playing cards dispersed throughout comic book stores, which led fans to another website where the DA was defaced with clown makeup. Dentmobiles, Gotham City voter registration cards, a pop-up local news channel: the marketing campaign might have seemed excessive had the movie not so convincingly topped it. Ten years later, as films like Deadpool and Avengers: Infinity War try to reach those same heights of virality, The Dark Knight remains the measuring stick by which every superhero movie, and superhero villain, is measured. JN

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Photograph: Jasin Boland/AP

In many ways, Fury Road is summer: arid, scorching, bright enough to be squinted at. The driving force behind all the high-impact driving is scarcity of water, the essence of life in a desert where death practically rises up from the burning sand. Even in the air-conditioned comfort of a multiplex auditorium in Washington DCs Chinatown, watching George Millers psychotic motor opera left this critic sweaty and parched. My world is fire and blood, warns the weary Max Rockatansky (Tom Hardy) in the scripts opening lines. Staggering out of a theater into the oppressive rays of the sun, it sure can feel that way.

Millers masterpiece fits into the summer blockbuster canon in a less literal capacity as well, striking its ideal balance of dazzling technical spectacle and massively-scaled emotional catharsis. There was plenty of breathless praise to go around upon this films 2015 release, much of it for the feats of practical-effects daring, but the hysterical extremes of feeling cemented its status as a modern classic. I cant deny that Ive watched the polecat sequence upwards of a dozen times, but Millers film truly comes alive in Furiosas howl of desperation, and in Maxs noble disappearance into the throng. CB

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Its the music, its the giant boulder, its the Old Testament mysticism, its the whip, its the Cairo Swordsman, its Harrison Fords crooked smile, its the bad dates, its Karen Allen drinking a sherpa under the table, its the melted faces and exploding heads. Its all these things plus having the good fortune of seeing this at the cinema at a very young age, therefore watching most of it through my terrified fingers. (Indy tells Marion to keep her eyes shut during the cosmic spooky ending; way ahead of you there!)

The modern blockbuster as we know it was created by Steven Spielberg with Jaws and George Lucas with Star Wars, so the hype was unmatched when the two collaborated in 1981 with Raiders of the Lost Ark. As a kid I had no idea this was a loving homage to cliffhanger serials from the 30s and 40s, I took it as pure adventure. The seven-and-a-half minute desert truck chase (I dont know, Im making thus up as I go) is probably the best action sequence in all of cinema (John Woos Hard Boiled does not have a horse, sorry), but watching as an adult one notices a lot of sophisticated humor, too. (Indy being too exhausted to make love to Marion, for example, is something that didnt connect when I was six.)

Its strange to think I watched these cartoon Nazis on VHS with my grandparents who had escaped the Holocaust, and no one benefits when you do the math to figure out how young Marion was when, as Indy puts it, you knew what you were doing. But for thrills, laughs and propulsive camerawork (though a little mild Orientalism), nothing tops this one. JH

Independence Day (1996)

Photograph: Everett/REX/Shutterstock

Short of actually calling their film Summer Blockbuster, rarely can a films height-of-summer release date been so central to a films raison detre. This being the mid-90s, when po-mo and self-referentiality was all the rage, brazenly hooking your tentpole film to 4 July was seen as a pretty smart idea.

Fortunately, all the ducks did line up in a row for ID4: a game-changing performance from Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum at (arguably) his funniest, a rousingly Clintoneque president in Bill Pullman and most importantly in that run-up to the millennium physical destruction on a gigantic scale. Much comment at the time was expended on the laser obliteration of the White House (an early shot from the Tea Party/Maga crowd?), but I personally cherish director Roland Emmerichs signature move of detonating cars in somersault formation. Like many other huge-budget films then and since, Independence Day was basically a tooled-up retread of cheap-as-chips format of earlier decades though who these days would roll such expensive dice on what is essentially an original script, with no comic book or toy branding as a forerunner? We shall never see its like again. AP

Aliens (1986)

Photograph: Allstar/20 CENTURY FOX/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

An Aliens summer is one for moviegoers who prefer to sit in in darkened rooms when the sun is shining; the brutal confines of the fiery power plant make an excellent subliminal ad for air conditioning. In 1986, James Cameron took Ridley Scotts elegant, iconic horror template and turned it into an all-out action blockbuster, forcing Ripley once again to face down her nemeses in a breathless fug of claustrophobia, sweat and fear. Its relentlessly stressful and unbelievably thrilling.

I first saw Aliens many years after its initial release. Owing to its sizeable and long-lasting legacy, it was at once immediately familiar, yet also brisk and brutally fresh. I understood that it was a classic, but I wasnt prepared for just how good it is, for the pitch-perfect management of tension, the pace that never really lets up, the emotional pull. The maternal undertow of Ripleys protection of Newt, and the alien mirror of that, adds a level of heart unusual in most blockbusters, and her frustration at being a woman whose authority must be earned again and again, and then proven again and again, remains grimly relevant, 30 years on. Its also a total blast. Now get away from her, you bitch. RN

Jaws (1975)

Photograph: Fotos International/Getty Images

It is the great summer blockbuster ancestor the film that in 1975 more or less invented the concept of the event movie. And unlike all those other summer blockbusters, Steven Spielbergs Jaws is actually about the summer; it is explicitly about the institution of the summer vacation, into which the movie was being sold as part of the seasonal entertainment. It is about the sun, the sand, the beach, the ocean and the entirely justified fear of being eaten alive by an enormous shark with the appetite of a serial killer and the cunning of a U-boat commander. And more than that: it is about that most contemporary of political phenomena: the coverup, the town authorities at a seaside resort putting vacationers at risk by not warning them about the shark. The Jaws mayor has become comic shorthand for the craven and pusillanimous politician.

A blockbuster nowadays means spectacular digital effects, but this film is from an analogue world. It bust the block through brilliant film-making and an inspired score from John Williams, summoning up the shark with a simple two-note theme which became the most famous musical expression of evil since Bernard Herrmanns shrieking violin stabs in Psycho took the place of actual knife-slashing. I still remember the excitement of the summer of 1975, and the queues around the block at the Empire, in Watford, round the corner from the football ground. The inspired brevity of the title meant the word was repeated over and over again to fill the marquee display: JAWS JAWS JAWS as if they were screaming it! PB

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[joiuse]

davestuck: munstuck

Davestuck AU munstuck

Dave: “well fuck. where is it?”

ð  Well… Alright? Let’s examine room

Your name is DAVE STRIDER. As previously not mentioned, today is non-student day, and you are too cool for school. You hold various interests for the sake of irony. Like making SICK BEATS and KICK ASS ART MASSTERPEICES, however a majority of your creations are left unfinished, because they become legitimately cool rather than ironic cool, and you just don’t have the want to make anything like that. You also happen to me an MLG GAMER, and mostly enjoy PUZZLE and ADVENTURE games. And now your going to ironically describe your tendency not to finish things and (CONT)

==>Dave: continue being un-chill

Dave: “the hell am I doing standing here like some sweet statue of myself being all catatonic for people’s admiration of me? Collecting rust and bird shit like some long dead soldier.”

==>

What surly awesome thing are you looking for?

==>

Oh SHIT!

>Oh damn

*Dave has a less than chill look on his face*

==>Dave: chillax

Hella sweet job breathing there

==>Dave: sit down and try again

In-fucking-credible

==>Dave: open your husktop

==>Answer Friend

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Triscord

Dave: vi

Dave: vivivivivi

Dave: open your fucking husktop

@Dave is now online

Dave: !!!!! Damn what’s the fucking commotion, someone start a fire (again)?

Dave: I was busy, all standing around statically for an imaginary audience

 Dave: it’s cool

Dave: like how you’re too cool for school apparently

 Dave: …

 Dave: wow

Dave: you’re finally not a student

Dave: brings a tear to your old mans eye, they grow up so fast

Dave: c : , )

 Dave: dude, that’s not even remotely close to how it is

Dave: like this is a fucking math test and you somehow got troll John Cusack

 Dave: damn.

Dave: hey, I think you should go check your mail for totally unspecified reasons

Dave:  I have never been given a better reason to go check my mail, aside from the positioning of that weird fucking mail red lever shit.

 Dave: what are you going on about?

 Dave: don’t worry about it bro

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

==>

Hella sweet convo, now time to get to your shit

==>

Hold up…

==>Could it be?

Yeah probably

==>Dave: pick up letter

You pick up the letter. Not the normal issue of Game Grub. Maybe it’s some other jack asses letter and the mailman fucked up.

==> Dave: look at address

Yup. Looking at it you can see this shit is your problem now

==>

Shit, looks like people will just never leave you alone

==>Become the other Dave

 *Dave taking ironic photo*

==>

Damn, what a poser? Anyway…

==>Enter Name

-insufferable prick-

==>Real original smartass

Dave Strider

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, although you are better known as the coolest man alive

You get around to doing shit, like: OPENING YOUR PHONE AND GETTING SIDETRACKED IN YOUR HOT LOOKS, EATING PLANTS FROM OUTSIDE, and PUTTING DATES ON SHIT because we all know that movie 2012 (shortened title) was a documentary on how the world truly ended. You also love LAYING DOWN SOME SICK BEATS, but you mostly squander all your musical potential with frivolous activities such as conversing with your acquaintances. Doing shit like TELLING THEM HOW SHIT REALLY IS, or well sort of, you aren’t really that great with advice. You mostly do that to not be A HUGE DICK LIKE YOUR ANCESTORS. And lastly you have the habit of TAKING YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.

==>

The revelation that more pressing things dawns upon you, and you get right on that serious shit

==>Dave: get shit done

You enter the next room; its walls are lined with your sick ass loot and rather fine decorum… papa squat?

==>Examine Room

…

==>

PAPA SQUAT?

What in the ever-loving fuck is papa squat doing all sleeping there like a grub. Big ol’ thing sleeps anywhere

==>Bounce

You proceed to the downstairs floor of your hive

==> Dave: Enter Kitchen

God damn time

==>

L E T S

C O O K

==>

Hot damn, look at you, culinary master over here, worlds next iron chef working his fine ass away on some hella fine eats. Chef troll Gordon Ramsey would have to find his cool because he wouldn’t have shit to get all in a fit about. All because your food preparing skills are on point.

==>Finish

Hard work, well done

==> Dave: Check food

*you hear the faint and distant echoes of an angry man wielding a kitchen knife, shouting the words “its fucking raw!” you decide to disregard these calls from some ethereal plane*

==>Enter dining room

You enter your absolutely not chill or lax dining room. The room feels tense as fuck and you cant shake the feeling. Its probably the paintings. Its likely the paintings. Ok, its totally the creepy ass totally unstringing, uncanny valley, uneasy, disturbing paintings piercing your very soul that’s making this so fucking odd.

Still you find pleasure in how well prepared your table is arranged

==> Dave: call out for papa squat

You hear jack shit.

==> Dave: return to your food

Table for one? Looks like it. Damn

==>Stuff this shit down your gullet before it becomes a living thing and you have to care for it

==>

Shit, your phone went off at the least convenient moment.  And you were so close to eating

==> Dave: Check whose buggin you

Yup, you’re being bothered

==> Dave: Answer text

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Triscord

Dave: Hey

Dave: Yo

Dave: Sup

Dave: bro?

Dave: shit man what’s hanging

Dave: Crazy mad shit went down today, honestly, you’ll want to remove any and all foot wear because your socks will be moving off your feet at a highly dangerous velocity.

Dave is now online

Dave: Christ wwwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaatttt????????

 Dave: So I was chilling at the park with bro, he was completely expressionless like a statue, like he happens to be all the time

 Dave: yeah so

 Dave: then his face suddenly lit up like someone told him his shades were unironically the shit

 Dave:  : 0

 Dave: then I investigated what the fuck was up, and guess what the fuck was up

 Dave: damn son get to it already, I’m past the edge of my seat

Dave: my chair is a mile behind and I’m just sitting here on the floor dying of fucking anticipation because you wont get a move on

 Dave: Cash

Dave: straight up money was laying there. So we nabbed that shit and bought some chill ass ice-cream

Dave: and now I’m high as the dogg himself off all this sugar

 Dave: hot shit

Dave: Mail me some of that loot, like seriously, do it

 Dave: I would but that means coming in contact with the worst substance on earth. Saliva activated glue. Which is basically slurp-able goo.

 Dave: man, slurp-able goo is the shit

 Dave: speaking of mail. What’s up with the shit you sent me

 Dave: some fine ass work on my part that’s what

 Dave: well done, after months of work you finally discovered our alternative to Roblox, hopefully, the sounds of 12-year old’s screeching in broken microphones, though hilarious in an ironic sense, it is seriously killing my ears

 Dave: don’t worry about it bro, this game is going to be great.

 Dave: k, well I gotta’ bounce. Bro’s calling me

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 ==>Wait who are they… as if we didn’t already know (hint, its dave)

[the-emotional-stoner-blog]

Midnight Thoughts 1/11/18

Its midnight… and I’ve been drinking... and its sad… it seems that this is the only time that sometimes I feel like I let myself truly feel and think about everything going on inside. I try and talk to everyone about it, however, it’s never properly portrayed…

 I think its only officially been a year since I have come out to my family and friends… and can I truly say that I came out when I still hide who I am from most people. When I feel as though it isn’t everyone’s business. I’m not opposed to someone asking me and me being honest but I don’t know, lately there have been a ton of changes and a lot of things going through my head.

 I am working so hard on being me. And for the most part it works out okay. Majority of my friends know and are okay. To be honest no one honestly cares. However, again, as always there is always something bothering me. Sometimes my friends have said people ask, ive told them IDC, my family knows, go ahead… but that leads me to my next point….

 DOES MY FAMILY KNOW? Who honestly knows who is most aware of the emotional turmoil and battle going on in my head. Its not easy, and its not that its difficult just because of the life choice. I’ve tried, I’ve realized it, I have tried long and hard and for many years to suppress it. But I told my family, but what exactly is known.

 Do they hear one thing? Do they think one thing? Do they feel one way? Do they not? I’m so torn. I am trying to be me, and I am trying to be who I am. I want to be who I am. And I’ve never been happier. I don’t want to go out and live a gay crazy life, that’s not me. I can’t even imagine going to a pride parade. I’ve always said that my best friend would probably be the only person to ever get me there. Who knows….

 Gosh. I have so much on my mind, this is gonna be a mindfuck of a night for me. It always is. I put on a brave face, I walk the walk and I do the show. I know I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. I can do things like traveling half way across the world for my own pleasure and benefit, and then I can totally freak out one night about what to wear when I am actually meeting other gay people for the first time…

 I am lost. And I know that’s life. Everyone is lost. But I try so hard to act okay, I try to seem like everything is fine. However, I got to believe that I’m pretty terrible at it because my emotions show…

 But I digress from the point. Was their a point? I mean this is my thoughts. That’s what I needed. I started this as an outlet for my thoughts. A way for me to release myself from the constant thoughts in my head.

 So lets go back to it all and lets break it down:

 Coming out;

 My sister: what can I say, she’s always understood me. From day one. And to this day I feel guilty that I didn’t tell her first. I feel the hurt she feels that I wasn’t able to come out to her first. It wasn’t that I couldn’t, I’ve always always understood that she would be okay with it. But it was was just something to me, something that I couldn’t say out loud at the time. Out loud to someone so close to me, someone that has known me their entire life, someone who grew up with me.... I know its okay, and I feel bad still… I feel bad I cant exactly talk about this life with her, and its not that I don’t want to… its just that I don’t know how, its something so crazy and so uncomfortable to me still that trying to explaining it someone so close to me and everything, it just… it makes everything more real, and maybe sometimes I still try to avoid it…

 I love you J

  My brother: what can I say about my brother. Aloof is an understatement. But in regards to me, that’s obviously why I am writing this, right. My brother, hes the kind of guy that loves everyone, and unless you literally destroy him, he will always have you back. I couldn’t imagine having a gay brother, its obviously not what you expect or want being the older brother, right? And I mean lets not add the fact that your best friend has most likely always made comments and that was why he always felt I needed “toughened” up, right? I’m not completely dumb, even your soccer friends, probably from the beginning… It’s not easy becoming everything everyone said you were. Did I ever really have a chance to come out, or was I just told that I was gay, ill never truly know to be honest (a battle I fight a lot). But hey, deep down I know my brother is accepting and loves me. But is it wrong of me to feel guilt and remorse. Guilt that I’m not that brother that can sit there and always just talk girls with him. Hey! I mean I still can, I still think girls are attractive…but I don’t know maybe not in the exact same wavelength.

 Its harder with my brother than my sister. My sister and I were always close. M brother, well we, we went through some shit and I did something pretty terrible I don’t like thinking about. I typically try and avoid it at all cost. Stupid third graders, right, who knew they wanted to “read” so much. I don’t know, I read into everything

 I’ve wanted to tell your best friend from me. I mean I kind of still feel as its something that should come from me, but at this point if its asked by anyone, idc, tell them. This is me, this is who I am trying to be. It meant no harm I know it didn’t, but even a simple t-shirt… it can send me for a spiral. Am I not the brother that was planned, the one that a big bro could think of future conversations about girls with.

 My brother loves me, my brother accepts me. I know that, and I am so grateful, but sometimes, sometimes I don’t think people realize that thoughts can run through anyone’s head. People the closest they are with can sometimes focus on one thing that bothers them, and then somehow magically portray that in every other aspect of life….

 My brother loves me, he accepts me, I am 100% certain of that. But I can’t help but have these doubts. These feelings. Probably for the life of me…. Its just something that who I am, me, as a person will constantly battle, I will always be my biggest antagonist….

 I love you S.

 My dad: I honestly don’t even know where to start with this guy. We are pretty different, and then on the other hand we are so much like each other. But you see, growing up, my dad, my aunt, his sister… they weren’t to accepting of gays. I mean if there was a gay theme my mom would make sure that my dad wasn’t around. So imagine that as me….. imagine that as a person who knows that…

 My mom claims my dad loves me no matter what. But at this point in my life, does my dad know that I am probably more into guys than girls (did you, the person reading this now?)? I know he loves me, he truly does. But this is a side of me that I don’t discuss. I don’t bring it up. Hell, I can’t imagine the day that who knows I meet a guy (unhopeful and don’t worry this is going to be a long long thought so we will get there) and bring him home and if my dad will accept it. Hey, I mean I brought a girl home and she was able to sleep with me (my sister couldn’t even do that till she was engaged!) Hell fucking no! Honestly, I wouldn’t even want a guy to come home with me. I would probably get a hotel! For two big reasons. 1) if my dad is not accepting of it than I am not dealing with that! 2) if my dad is (not) accepting of it but allows us, I don’t even want to place him in that positon.

 I’ve had some people lately tell me that I need to be selfish. Is this one of those instances? Am I selfish in the way that I don’t care, this is my life, this is me! Deal with it? But that’s not me! Its honestly not, I can’t do that. I can’t be selfish…. I think too much… I feel too much….

 I don’t know with my dad. There are times lately where I just want to flat out ask him “Dad, if I end up with a guy will you still love me. Will you be okay? Will everything be okay?” But I can’t, I am fearful. I avoid the situation. I avoid anything that deals with it.  And until I can talk to him, or until the day that I really have to deal head on with this situation (I magically have a boyfriend) than I will never know…

 I don’t know what to do with my dad. I don’t know how he feels. Its not a subject I plan to bring up… My dad loves me, I know it… will I be truly accepted is the biggest issue.

 My mother: oh jeeze, gotta take a deep breath for this one, didn’t expect that did ya. Usually mothers are your mom, they love you no matter what. But with my mom, I cant pin point it….its missing, there’s a big gap, and it sucks.

 My mom, she means the world to me. I am a mommas boy. It is something I learned a long time ago. I love my mother. I truly am my mother. From looks to a lot of how I act. I love my mom, a lot. And I’ve experienced a lot with her, heck one of my second times out of the country was with her and her and I were stuck in a room with twin beds… so yeah we got close…

My mom loves me… but sometimes, sometimes I don’t know if she accepts me. I avoid the gay stuff with her just as much as my dad. Its funny sometimes, the person you are least worried about ends up being the worst. IT doesn’t help my mom has constantly talked religion and how she wishes she raised us more catholic… I’m sorry to say mom, even before I accepted this, I really wasn’t religious, don’t believe in that crap and I have another view point that works for me, and that’s all I feel….

 And then its funny, because I feel as though my mom is the only other person that I have come out to more than once. I can remember calling her drunk one time while I was traveling. And I talked about how I was worried about things and dad. And she said dad would always love me. But for some reason it stuck with me, and bothered me…. There was something off… was she truly telling me that Dad accepted me, or was she trying to convince herself that she accepted me? Honestly, sometimes I don’t know. My mom tried to guilt trip me into going to church for Christmas. I told her no, it was hypocritical, and that’s not including this side of me. But that’s also another factor.

 My mother… I told her once, “Mom, I told you and dad this side of me because I wanted you guys to know. I wanted you to be able to ask me questions. I am extremely uncomfortable about this. I probably always will be. But I told you this because I wanted it out in the open and I wanted to be able to talk to you guys.” However, I still feel as though that wont work… she will always ask my sister (my brother, ha! He would probably not know. Sorry S).

 I love my mother, a ton. But, honestly….sometimes its hardest with her. I was her baby. I always dreamed of a normal family, just as she probably did. And its changed, and her baby isn’t what she expected… the baby is far from what she expected..

 I love you mom, I really do, but I don’t know, your social cues, and the way you act, it tells a different story… and its hard to tell…

 My parents:

 They bother me…. I told them. And ever since then its never been brought up, maybe I am grateful for that? I mean hell, I probably wouldn’t want to talk to them about it. But hey, seriously! Your son just told you a huge part of his life, a huge part that’s probably attacked him as a whole, and made him depressed at certain points of his life… I don’t know, I honestly don’t know what I truly wanted… But I don’t know… I told them, and I don’t bring it up… I don’t want to… and it still makes me uncomfortable… its an an uncomfortable positon and stage in life….

 My friends:

  Honestly cant complain… they have been the greatest, the best and a huge help in this process and changes as everything goings on.

 ALRIGHT CHANGE OF FOCUS!!!

Relationships…. I think my sister got upset with me.. she was talking about marriage and life beyond where we are now, and I just casually made the comment saying “yeah, I don’t think I will ever get married.” It was just the look on her face wtf? Why would you say that? Whats wrong with you? But she left it at that, and honestly, I am happy, because that’s what I want.. to not confront it…

 But lets confront that thought head on!

 I have no hope! I truly truly truly don’t believe there is a “happily ever after for me.” I don’t trust people. I don’t trust the gay world. Hell, I’m not that much better. I keep secrets just as much as any other person does..

 But from my view, from my sights, and thoughts, and experiences with the gay world. Its worse than the straight world. And I am by no means making it seem like being straight means the world is all yours. But idk, god, guys think girls are superficial. Try being a guy trying to find a guy, then you will know what superficial truly means…

 I’ve seen, I’ve heard, god fucking dammit I have been an issue, and guys cheat all the time. What hope does that leave me with. What hope do I have for a relationship? God, to be honest, I am petrified of ever even having a relationship.

 I made a comment to my best friend once, “A, I am either going to end up with someone way too good for me, or I wont end up with anyone at all…” It’s a weird thought, and even as I write it I honestly don’t know if I truly understand it. But its something I feel. I have felt this for so long…

 I am trying… and I am working on it… I am working on me, and I am working on meeting other people “like” me. I want to be me, and I want to live a life where I am me. I don’t know what to expect. I am terrified. And I am pessimistic beyond belief…

 I have so much crap constantly running through my head… I have so many thoughts… so many feelings. Things that I keep bottled in… Things that I let myself try and deal with, and battle… I’m letting people know (Even if I don’t know you) who I am and what I am going through, and the thoughts inside my head.

 This is going to be me, this is going to be the person I want to work at being. IT makes me feel better, it makes me feel whole… it makes me feel human..

 ­

I am pretty sure knowing me that I talked about a lot. And I digressed a lot. And I’m sure I really didn’t get 100% of my feelings out there.  But hey it’s a glimpse right, a 5 page glimpse into my life and thoughts…

 This is me….this will who I always will be…

 And maybe, just maybe the true question in the end of all this is: Can I truly accept me?

~ the-emotional-stoner