#i cant describe how it feels to just be trying to Go while also being entirely overqhlemed and tired and yhere are fifty ppk just

[californiaquail]

well boss said reese has no indication of any uti or crystals only a tiny amount of red blood cells which can be caused by the manual expression. coworker insisted there was no point in taking rads to see if he's blocked from the string so going to try some laxaire and hope 😬🤞🏻also then my boss gave me a ride to the bus stop so i didn't have to carry the huge crate which was uncharacteristically nice of him 🤨

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[ruairy]

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[icarusredwings]

Watching interviews from the olden days and finding gold.

Finding out that Hugh Jackman having to "be the alarm clock" for James Mcavoy and Micheal Fassbender because of how hung over they were is simply hilarious.

Also finding out that James slammed them into a Lexus (only doing 12 miles an hour) got thrown 10 feet, immediately got up and looked back to see Micheal (who was once on the back of the golf cart) now sitting upright in the drivers seat after smacking his head on the seat and got a gash scar on his leg from it- Only to start "maniacally laughing" and literally RAN AWAY once blamed, Is also so young cherik coded.

These crack heads definitely were getting into some nonsense trouble.

Micheal saying he thought the scene from the strip club with charles and angel "I thought we looked like the two old men from the muppets"

Micheal calling the x men "Charlie- boy's kids". Perfection.

Also the way James looks at him when ever Micheal just bursts out into song is so pure. The "wow this idiot... thats my idiot." Glitter in his eye.

James finding out that Micheal isn't american by driving up to him on a vespa, and screaming at him in his normal voice is so funny.

"Fuck you erik-"

"His names derik."

"How long has he name been derik?"

"Since the begining- you just keep calling him that."

Even the bloopers of Hank and Charles are such a vibe.

"Hold your breath but make it look like you aren't holding your breath" Man these leather suits gave them so many problems fr.

"I already said im not a man. I cant jump this damn wall!" I think storm says as the director goes right up to hugh and is like "Litsen when I say so youre gonna jump this wall" and hughs like idk about that mate. "Ill be talking to you through the big microphone that everyone hates" says the director. "Were gonna take the batteries out if it" says someone else.

Hughs stunt double: *screams*

Hugh: Let it go sis

Hughs stunt double: *dies*

Something about how the directors talk to hugh and how hugh speaks directly to multiple set members makes me feel like half the cuts they had to make was because of him joking and being a silly theater kid LMAO

Everyone randomly dancing all the time, including old magneto.

James too. The blooper of him violently killing a bug on the chess set in the plane scene is so "insane charles" iconic.

Also poor Evan peters. He kept slipping everywhere. And theres so many shots where hes just standing there in charater getting absolutely soaked while charles and Logan do some ridiculous shit lol. Him at panels is so awkward too. Describe your character " hes a little weird uhhhh hes fast. Hes quick. He talks fast he runs fast..... uhhh its like at the atm waiting for the bastard infront of you to move out the way" "I wish my dad magneto could try these 😀" "thats my dad"

Evan also wishes they would have done the scene in apocalypse where he tells him hes his son and all the metal in the room drops. Im someone has written this already but that sounds great.

"THATS MY SON, QUICKSILVER!" Shouts Micheal multiple times. "My boy!" "Its in the genes darling." "I had him when I was very young 😁"

[xoxoavenger]

Sunflower

pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

summary: Y/N has a crush on Robin's friend Steve, but when she learns about his dating history she retreats in on herself.

word count: 3327

warnings: self depreciation, reader is only described as not skinny but by herself in comparison to other Stranger Things characters, happy ending guys I swear, also based off the song sunflower from that one movie (I don't remember I just get it stuck in my head)

12 Days of Christmas masterlist main masterlist

"Please?"

"No!"

"Oh, come on!" Robin had been trying for the past hour to make her best friend come with her to the movie night that Steve was hosting.

"Robin," Y/N was not budging. It's not that she didn't want to hang out with Robin, but going to a strangers house full of people when you only know one was not her idea of a fun night.

"Just give me a good reason, at least." Usually Robin stopped begging by the fourth 'no,' but tonight she was very pushy for an unknown reason.

"I don't know anyone!" Y/N hadn't gone to Hawkins High, instead being put through a private all-girls school just north of Hawkins. A school Robin visited frequently, due to Y/N's roommate, and that's how the two became friends. So while 'King' Steve Harrington may have been a legend in Hawkins, he might as well have been the post man to Y/N.

"I'll be there!" Robin clearly did not understand Y/N's worries. "I won't leave you alone, I promise."

"Give me the reason you want me to go, and I'll consider it." Robin opened her mouth. "The real reason." Y/N raised an eyebrow at her huff.

"Steve is my best friend, and I selfishly want my two best friends to also be best friends!" Robin pouted, but it made Y/N smile slightly.

"I will go just this once." Robin whooped and punched a fist in the air as she stood from the couch. "But! But, you cant ask me again." Robin seemed to happy to care about Y/N's terms anyway.

This was going to be one hell of a night.

~

"I finally got her!" Robin screamed when she walked in, not even knocking or slowly walking in. Y/N stood out outside the door, blinking as Robin began to give out hugs.

"Who?" A male voice asked, just around the corner and out of Y/N's sight.

"Is this your friend from boarding school?" A kid with curly hair asked Robin as he came to the door.

"It wasn't boarding school!" Robin knocked the back of the kids head, and Y/N's eyes widened. She was really close with these people.

"What is your name?" A girl appeared next to Y/N, causing her to jump. Everyone was still buzzing and talking in the doorway.

"Y/N," She responded, smiling when the other girl smiled. "What's your's?"

"Eleven." Y/N tried not to show her shock at the unique name. "But everyone calls me El."

"I like that name." Y/N said, feeling nice when El smiled wider. She wanted to continue her conversation, however a loud voice cut everyone off.

"Alright!" Hands clasped, a man about Y/N's age got everyone's attention. She felt her heart begin to beat out of her chest and her eyes widen slightly at the sight of him; tall, handsome as hell with the most beautiful head of hair. She struggled to hear what he had to say next. "You can come in the house, ya know." His smirk made her smile slightly, her heart racing as she tried not to act too shy.

"I just wasn't sure," She looked over at Robin, who was talking in low tones to another girl who looked about their age as well.

"Don't worry about it." The man walked over to her as she walked into the house, the kids dispersing and beginning to chatter once more. "My house is basically everyone else's anyway." He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, shutting the door behind her. Y/N gave a small laugh and toed off her shoes, leaving them near the door before turning back to Steve.

"Your house is nice," She said, looking around and realizing her statement may have fallen a bit short. His house was immaculate upon first glance. However, when she looked closer, she realized there were no family pictures, no children's artwork or graduation pictures hanging up. Her heart sunk and she looked back at Steve, who looked a bit awkward.

"Yeah," He said, scratching his neck. "My name is Steve, by the way. I don't know if Robin told you." Y/N's eyes widened in acknowledgement.

"You're Steve!" She laughed slightly at the face he made. "No, it's just, I hear all the time about how Robin works with you. I didn't know her coworker was her best friend." She caught something flickering across Steve's face, as if there was more to the story, but then he was laughing and it was so musical that Y/N forgot all about the face. Steve's laugh seized her heart, and she tried not to blush.

I mean, how embarrassing would it be to blush at your best-friend-in-law's laugh the first time you meet them?

"Yeah, I mean, we've worked at two places together now so," Steve told her, and Y/N nodded.

"Basically married, honestly." She joked, just to make Steve laugh once more. When he did, her heart soared.

"I'm glad someone gets it." He spoke, a soft smile on his face that Y/N wanted to take a photograph of to look at forever.

God, get ahold of yourself!

"I'm Y/N." She held her hand out, and Steve took it, a small smile on his face.

"That is a lovely name." He said, and she couldn't even think about the fact that he probably has used that line a million other times because she was too busy trying to manually make the blood leave her cheeks.

"Thank you," She said, quieter now. He dropped her hand and then looked around, noticing Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan on a couch while the kids sprawled out on the floor, arguing about the movie.

"What's your favorite movie?" He asked, turning back to her.

"Uh, I guess it would be Pretty In Pink? Or actually maybe Footloose." Her eyes lit up as she ran through more movies in her head. "I really like Stand By Me too." Steve smiled.

"I have Footloose." He said simply, then turned to make his way to the living room. Y/N followed, brows furrowed in confusion. She hadn't even gotten to ask him the same question, and she wasn't sure what he was doing now.

"Alright, stop arguing." Steve walked into the middle of the kids and picked up all the movies they had taken off the shelves, not caring about the kids' protests.

"Steve, please tell Mike that no one wants to watch Ferris Bueller again!" The kid with curly hair cried out.

"We watched it like seven times in theaters already!" A kid with and dark, short hair called out, and this caused the pale kid with black hair to drop his mouth in surprise - this must be Mike.

"Because it's the best movie ever made!" Their bickering distracted them from what Steve was doing, starting to yell over each other and making the three girls in the group roll their eyes and sigh.

Y/N looked over to find a spot to sit, but she noticed Robin was deep in conversation with the same girl from earlier on the couch; she was petite and beautiful, permed hair styled perfectly and face gorgeous without makeup. Y/N was instantly jealous, no matter how much she tried to ignore it and push it down. The girl was holding the man next to her's hand.

Robin had left Y/N alone.

Her heart started to race as she stared at Robin, willing her to look over, to notice how uncomfortable she was. She didn't know where to sit now - she could sit on the love seat but then she would be sitting next to Steve, who seemed nice but she didn't know him. Her head spun ever so slightly as she tried to breathe, trying to act like she was fine. It's not a big deal. She can sit on the couch. And if it's the most awkward experience of her life, she'll blame Robin for it until the day she dies.

As she sat down, heart still racing but breathing under control, she noticed a familiar tune playing. It was the intro to one of her favorite movies.

She met Steve's eyes as he got up from the VHS player, walking over to where she was sitting.

"What the hell is this?" The kid with curly hair asked Steve, who was now seated next to Y/N, his thigh pushing into her's.

"A movie." Steve grabbed a bowl of popcorn from the small table, offering some to Y/N.

"You're such a comedian." A girl that was smaller than the rest said, eyes narrowed at Steve. He ignored her with practiced ease, taking a handful of popcorn and staring at the TV.

"You chose Footloose." Y/N whispered, heart picking up when Steve turned to look at her.

"Of course." He smirked, making her blush slightly.

"Thank you." She looked over at Robin, who was staring at the TV while shoveling popcorn into her mouth.

"I know that Robin probably told you she wouldn't leave you alone." Steve muttered, causing her to whip her head over to him.

"She didn't leave me alone." Y/N felt the need to defend her best friend, even if it was a lie.

"Y/N," The way he said her name made her heart clench. She immediately forgot what they were talking about. "I love Robin, and I know she didn't mean to, but she did leave you alone." Y/N crossed her arms.

"She just got excited." Y/N said, causing Steve to chuckle lowly.

"Believe me, I know." He scooted ever so slightly closer. "I've never seen this movie, and we've missed the first five minutes, so I'm gonna need you to explain it for me." She tried not to let her cheeks heat once more as she began to explain to Steve what was going on in the movie.

~

After going to movie night a couple more times and actually becoming friends with some of Robin's friends, she hatches her plan.

She couldn't tell Robin that she was practically in love with Steve already. Not because she didn't trust her best friend, but because she felt weird about it. She had only just met him, and they hadn't even talked all that much. She had to bring it up but make it seem like it was Robin's idea.

"I need you to help me!" Y/N cried, dramatically falling backwards on Robin's bed.

"Oh my God," Robin didn't even look up from her painting she was working on.

"I to go on a date!" She yelled. This was a common complaint, one that would cause Robin to roll her eyes most of the time.

"How am I supposed to do that?" Robin still hadn't put down her paint brush, but she was a little less focused.

"You know so many people!" Y/N tried, hoping this wasn't a little too forward.

"You're right, but not that many are - oh my God." Robin dropped her pain brush, the color splattering on her desk, just before hitting her canvas.

"What?" Y/N rolled over, almost falling off the bed.

"I'm a genius." Robin spun in her chair, grinning at Y/N.

"What?" She repeated, hoping Robin was about to be the best wingwoman ever.

"I know the perfect boyfriend for you!" The girls stared at each other for a couple moments, Robin blinking as if it was obvious. "Steve!"

"Oh." She couldn't sound too excited, but on the inside she was dancing. If she had Robin on her side, it'd be easier to get to know Steve. "I mean, I barely even know him,." Robin was so excited she didn't even bring up the fact that Y/N wouldn't have known anyone Robin brought up.

"Yeah, I could tell you everything." Robin shrugged, making Y/N's eyes go wide. "Like, he crawled backwards as a baby. Weird, right?" Robin laughed, painting forgotten.

"Okay, maybe we should skip ahead to dating history?" That was really what she wanted to know; Steve gave her the vibes of a player. She needed to be proven wrong. She was sure she was wrong.

"Right, well, he used to date Nancy." Y/N's heart sinks at Robin's words. It feels like someone just stabbed her. She regrets asking anything, regrets telling Robin she'd go to movie night. "They dated for like, a year, probably. I don't know, but they had a little thing a while ago."

"Oh," Y/N doesn't know what to say, but she clearly didn't convince Robin of anything. All Y/N can think is that she looks nothing like Nancy. Nancy who's skinny. Nancy who's hair is always perfect with her curled perm. Nancy who's eyes are the most beautiful blue. Nancy who's makeup is never too much, is always complementing her, is so beautiful. Nancy who had Steve's heart.

Fuck.

"They're like, two different people, though. Want different things. He's totally over her. It was practically forever ago." Robin continues, and Y/N tries not to show the hurt that is running through her.

"Right." Y/N nods, grabbing her book and picking it back up again.

"I'll wingwoman you." Robin turns back to her painting. "My two best friends!" She squeals, and Y/N closes her eyes, trying not to show Robin that she's disappointed.

~

Y/N doesn't go back to movie night for two weeks, despite Robin's whines and moans of protest. She wasn't going to break, either, because even though she hadn't seen him in two weeks she thought about him every day.

It was unhealthy.

It was even more unhealthy the way she studied herself in the mirror, comparing herself to Nancy. She knew she shouldn't, that there was no point, that Steve probably didn't even remember her name.

It was fine.

She was a normal human. She was a normal person. She could go to a movie with Steve. They probably wouldn't even talk.

So she agreed, making Robin the most excited she'd ever been. She could hardly wait a week for the next hang out, which was not a movie. It was a pool party.

She could do it.

"I can't do this." She whispered as she parked outside of Steve's house, Robin already getting out of her car.

"Come on!" Robin cried out, and Y/N blinked quickly before shutting her brain off and getting out of the car.

It wouldn't be that bad.

"Y/N!" Steve yells as soon as he opens the door. Her eyes widen, and Steve pushes Robin aside to put his arms around her.

"Alright," Robin says with a scoff, walking inside.

"Hi," Y/N says quietly, because she's still a little confused.

"We missed you!" He says as he pulls back. "I missed you." This was quieter, and Y/N tried her hardest not to blush.

"I missed you too." She said, watching him smile before walking with him into the house. She tries to convince herself that today will be okay.

But then the conversation shifts to Steve and his love life somehow, and one of the kids brings it up.

"Remember when you had a crush on Robin!" Dustin announces as he dissolves into laughter. Y/N's mind goes blank.

Of course Steve has a type. Of course it's the opposite of her. Robin and Nancy are gorgeous. They're both so kind, so smart, so pretty. They're both skinny.

All she can think about is the way her body looks against Nancy and Robin's. Her thigh, which is touching Steve's on the small couch that he had decided the two of them would sit on. Her face is a different shape. Robin and Nancy look like models that Y/N sees on the cover of her mother's magazines. She might as well have not come back, because there was no way Steve would ever see her like that.

And she couldn't even tell anyone; not that she had many people to tell anyway. But Robin wouldn't get it. She'd tell Y/N how beautiful and smart she was that if a man didn't want her for such a stupid reason she didn't want the man anyway. And while it was nice to hear, it wasn't what she wanted or needed now. She didn't need reminders that she was beautiful, because it wouldn't change how Steve saw her.

What had she been thinking? Of course Steve was a player - she had clocked that quickly.

"I need more popcorn!" Robin announces in the middle of the movie. "And Y/N needs to come with me." The way she said it made Y/N realize that she knew something was wrong, and now her best friend was not letting her out of this.

"What?" Y/N asked quietly when they got to the kitchen.

"Seriously?" Robin almost exploded.

"What?" Y/N furrowed her brows, and Ron scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

"You've been acting weird." Robin explains, and Y/N shakes her head dramatically. "No I haven't." She says, grabbing the popcorn and putting it on the pan they've been keeping on the stove.

"Yes, you have. What's going on?" Robin asks, walking to the stove to stand next to Y/N. "You can tell me." This is softer, just as the popcorn begins to pop.

"It's nothing, Rob." Y/N sighs.

"Are you sure? Because I don't want to make you uncomfortable when you come here but I just want you to hang out. And I thought you wanted me to try and set you up with Steve, but you haven't even looked at him all night despite the fact that you're sitting right next to each other." Robin talks it out, and she's getting closer to the truth. The popcorn is done, so Y/N takes it off the hot stove and puts it on a pot holder, but neither of them leave.

"Steve liked Nancy." Y/N says, not able to face Robin. She can only look at the back tile above the stove. "And he liked you. So he clearly has a type." She looks to the side that Robin isn't on, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Y/N," Robin puts a hand on her shoulder.

"He likes roses. He likes the skinny, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face. And that is not me. I am not a rose." She takes a deep breath, wiping her face and preparing to leave.

"I hate roses." Steve says from behind her, and Y/N jumps. She turns, and he's standing there with wide eyes that pull at her heart.

"Steve," She didn't want him to hear any of that, but he clearly heart at least the last part.

"When you first showed up here, I called Robin that night to ask if I had a chance with you." Steve admits, and Y/N parts her lips in surprise. She turns to her friend.

"You never told me that." She whispers, and Robin has a sly smile on her face.

"I knew you guys would find your way to each other." She grabs the popcorn and leaves Y/N and Steve to their conversation.

"I'm not the same guy I was in high school. And I know the rumors that went around, and some of them were true. But I'm more mature now, and I really like you." He admits, making Y/N's cheeks heat up. "I've been waiting for you to come to movie night again so I could ask you out. Robin wouldn't give me any of your information because she said I had to do it on my own." Steve steps closer, and Y/N has to take a shuddering breath.

"Sorry," Y/N says, and Steve shakes his head as he moves some hair out of her eyes.

"Don't apologize." He whispers, then grabs her hand. "So, would you like to go on a date with me?" He asks, and she smiles.

"Yes." She whispers, nodding slowly. He smiled.

"And by the way," He says as they walk back into the room. "I find you very, very attractive." She can feel the heat all the way down her chest, but she lets him lead her into the living room and to the couch. She even lets him cuddle her through the movie, even while his friends tease him.

She's never felt more beautiful. 

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @theoraekenslover @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina  @oblivion-void @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @icequeen1371 @mcueveryday @parkershoco @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @peculiarwren @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch @freezaz123 @mads-weasley @johnricharddeacy @sweetdreamsshifter @param8re @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @fangisms

[citrus-writing]

Illumi is so cruel lmao💥💥

Do you think he could be a little more nice sometimes? if so, under what circumstances? and how does he show mercy to reader?

Thank you so much for the request! 

Illumi is one of the more brutal yanderes, but of course, he has his good moments as well. While a lot of the time I describe the more unpleasant side of yanderes, here I’ll describe some easy ways to win his favor and inspire more kind behavior from him down below, as well as the ways he’s naturally prone to show love and kindness. 

Things that can make yandere illumi kinder to you, and the little mercies he shows you-- 

His own whims

There are times illumi wants to spoil you, times he wants to sit down with you and genuinely make you smile. He does love you, despite what his more cruel moments may show, and he wants to be happy with you, illumi wants nothing more than to settle into a cute routine of affection and kindness between the two of you, and he enjoys initiating these moments from time to time. 

He may set up a table for the two of your to have tea in the gardens, he may set up the dining table to enjoy your favorite meal with you, he may even take your hand in his and hold it for a moment. All of these things can be expected with time and he’s likely to do them move often if they’re met with a smile or happiness from his darling. 

There’s also an important thing to note, that illumi wants to see all of you- everything you do and everything you think and everything you like- and so he does sometimes try to offer you things to make you happy so he can see more of the you he fell so madly in love with. 

A soft personality 

If you, as his darling, are someone soft- sweet or kind or gentle or shy, illumi will be naturally more inclined to kindness. Afterall, most of his punishments are just that- punishments for bad behavior. If you're good, sweet and gentle like he wants you to be, not putting up a fight or screaming, he can indulge you in some treats. 

He loves to treat a soft darling to some of their favorite things, whether it be sweets and baked goods, new clothes in the styles you enjoy, or doing some of your favorite hobbies together, he doesn't mind. 

A compliant attitude 

Illumi can be hard to live with, i won't lie about that, but he’s also slightly aware of that. I wouldn't consider illumi a lucid yandere, in fact, he can be incredibly delusional about you- you're perfect in his eyes after all. 

But he knows that living by his rules can be hard for you, so if he sees you trying to comply, he's elated and will naturally go easy on you next time you make a mistake or go against him. He's so happy to see you comply with his rules that your amount of freedom increases greatly (from none to able to move about the home freely) 

If you allow him to talk to you and even touch you as he pleases it's a sure way to get almost anything you want. He knows the game you're playing, but as much as he loves punishments, he doesn't mind giving you rewards either. This is one way to get illumi to instantly start being kinder to you, because he loves when you’re compliant to him and his rules. 

Anytime you’re in pain 

If it’s not from one of his punishments, then seeing you in pain makes him unhappy- you cant see it on his face, but you can sort of tell by the way he hovers around closer than normal, watching you intently. No matter what's ailing you- be it a scratch or a cold or some other kind of pain, illumi hates to see you hurt by something other than him. 

Because of this, he dotes on you a fair bit when you’re hurt. He hates to see your hurt, so he’ll be especially soft and gentle, handling you all the while, nursing you back to health in a way that almost feels affectionate. He even lays off touching you, if that’s what you want. But if you want to be extra pampered, let him cuddle up with you.

[princesssmars]

plsssss do something for michael munroe im so starved

i could change your mind

some college football player mike headcanons.

contains: fluff. some nsfw. american football gross. mike is cocky whats new. fem!reader. hair nor skin color described.

a/n: anon i lowkey miss him too so i'll do a few headcanons for you anon. sorry that my until dawn rewrite is like on hiatus I just feel like it's gonna be such a flop so my brain says it cant be bad if I don't write it ??? idk. ty for making me do this. set in college but i've decided to start a year late so if i get shit wrong sorry scholars. (heart fingers emoji I'm on desktop fml.)

idk why but the first thing that popped into my head was him loving a sport...like he gives smart but also dumbass jock to me we let's go with he did football in high school and he's at college on a scholarship.

if you're like me you don't give two shits about the sport you probably would not like twice in a football player's way, which he definitely sees as a challenge. he'll come up to you in the dining hall and try to hit on you in front of his jock friends, spouting a "whatever you say, sweetheart" when you reject him with a grimace.

to your surprise and horror he's in one of your advanced classes in your second semester, sitting with his feet up next to your seat with a smile when you walk in. you do call him troglodyte for having his shoes on the table but he says with an easy smile that he's in with the teacher who said it was alright.

great.

for the first three weeks, you try to ignore his questions and poking at all costs, but when you get paired up on an important assignment you decide to hold your disdain on pause. he invites you to "study in his dorm" which nearly gives you a migraine, until he chuckles and tells you he's joking, telling you you can meet at common ground and study in the library.

you hold your tongue instead of giving a quip about how he probably won't be able to keep his mouth shut, but once you actually get there you realize the worst thing ever: mike munroe isn't a moron. he's actually pretty smart, maybe nearly as smart as you, and shows pretty good leadership with how he takes in both your academic strengths and divides the workload based on them. its not hard to see why he's the quarterback.

after you get an a+ on your project, you start to warm up to mike. his stupid quips in class start to actually become funny, leading to numerous moments where he makes you snort in class and the professor rolls his eyes.

your friendship soon grows enough that mike has the confidence to invite you to one of his games while you're walking around campus, and if you start to say no he informs you that he will not hesitate to get on his knees and beg in front of everyone. that makes you feel a little weird so you groan and tell him fine.

the whole time you don't really know what's going on, even though ten minutes before he had to get ready he tried to cram all of the rules into your head. even though you don't know everything you can tell when something good happens, like when he makes the touchdown that wins your school the game. he celebrates with his team members and his crowd of fangirls before coming over to you, clearly waiting for you to say football is fun or something,

you don't. but the after-party definitely was. you don't know what that frat guy put in the punch but it was good, and had you nearly drunk in only two hours. nearly being a keyword, because someone who was past the point decided to do a childish game of seven minutes, and you decided to play along for fun.

but it wasn't so funny when they spun the bottle and it landed on you, then the next turn between two people to point towards the couch where mike was watching with his friends. they both burst out laughing at the horrified look on your face as you reluctantly follow him inside the closet.

for the first minute it's quiet, soft noises from the two of you adjusting your bodies in the quiet space and "sorry"'s when you bump into the other.

he takes your silence for uncomfortableness, telling you he's alright with just sitting with you. "one of my favorite things to do actually"

you don't really know why but you kiss him after that. when you pull away you can faintly see his blank face. great. you ruined everything. you're about to give some half-assed excuse before his hand is on the back of your neck and he's pulling you back into him and pressing your body into his.

things get weird after that night.

you're still friends after that night, of course. except now its...different.

you still have your movie nights laughing at people making dumb decisions in horror movies, except now you'll sometimes wind up on mike's lap with your tongue down his throat.

you still text each other stupid pictures you found on snapchat (he insists on using it, fuckboy he is. or used to be, weirdly). except now before you go to sleep he'll send you a picture of his bulge with a smiley face at the bottom. if you send a picture back he'll send a long voice message that you don't open for your own sanity.

but you aren't like. dating. and you don't know why in passing you hear his teammate nick call you "mike's girl". because you aren't. at all.

and plus its not like you've slept together or even gone on an actual date. you're just...closer than normal friends are.

and then he leaves the next december to spend a week with his old friends, and you kind of mope around campus while he's gone. he makes sure to text you constant updates until the night where he arrives at the cabin, where he leaves you delivered for two days. he did say his ex was going to be there, so that nagging voice in the back of your head is telling you the worse.

until you finally get the call from some random number in alberta. when you pick up after some initial confusion you hear mike on the other side.

"mike? what the actual hell? its been two days, thought you somehow managed to get lost in the snow."

he laughed on the other line, able to tell you're insult at his intelligence meant you cared. his voice sounds hoarse.

"yeah, yeah i know. i'm sorry. something came up and i...i've been stuck in this damn police station-"

"police station? jesus, how hard did you guys party."

he calls your name and it's serious. he only sounds like that when something important or bad has happened.

"mike? is everything ok?"

"no, no its not. josh is...he's gone. the cabins gone. we're all pretty messed up."

you don't give a response, waiting for him to elaborate if he wants to.

"i don't know what to say..i'm so sorry."

"it's alright. i'll explain more when i get back. i just wanted to hear your voice."

"now you're really scaring me."

he laughs again, the scratch of his voice returning.

"thank you."

"for what? constantly insulting you and bringing you back to reality?"

"for making me laugh. haven't done it in a while."

"yeah, well...i'll make sure your roommate hasn't completely trashed your dorm. and we can get some takeout. on me, because i'm polite."

"screw that, we're going on a date."

your heart skips.

"did you actually get a concussion because that's not funny."

"im serious. no more being a pussy. time to start getting serious. plus we're basically already dating, so."

"god, why does everyone keep saying that?"

"i'll see you soon."

the phone hangs up and you toss the phone to the side with a slight smile.

[bluriki]

christmas special one ❄ snowy nights ﹫ lhs

ꪆৎ — on a snowy night with you, heeseung decides to confess how much love he has for you ; pair best friend!heeseung x fem!reader ; genre fluff , f2l

your heart beats uncontrollably. being this close to heeseung shouldn't make you feel this nervous but it does. he shouldn't make you feel like your floating on clouds but he does. he makes you feel all things best friends shouldn't make you feel.

1 ) helps you bring in groceries , you're hearts a fluttering mess 2 ) says the most random joke , you're laughing genuinely 3 ) he's staring at you , fire is on your cheeks

so now, you're in each others arms, slow dancing in the snow. it was heeseungs idea, saying it would be so fun to play and dance in the snow. the sun had gone down but the snowflakes were still falling.

soft music was playing from heeseung's phone as you swayed back and forth. you accidentally stepped on his foot causing him to groan. "sorry! i-i'm not good at dancing." you apologized quickly, feeling embarrassed.

"it's okay." you looked up with a smile on your face but the smile got wiped right off when you realized how close you really were to heeseung. his eyes never left yours as he held you close.

"you're really pretty." he whispered softly. your heart pounded in your chest. so hard you though it was gonna come out. but of course you tried playing it cool. "thanks but i already knew that."

heeseung snickered. "did you?" you nodded, trying to mask all the emotions that are flying around in your heart. "did you know you're loved?" you tilted your head in confusion. loved? well yeah, you know you were loved but what was he getting too?

"did you know i love you?" heeseung whispered as if he just wanted you to hear. your heart pounded once again, but this time you were sure he heard it.

"did you know how much i've dreamt of being by your side all day, everyday? did you know that i wanted to put a mistletoe on my door frame so when you come over i could steal a peck? you're lucky sunghoon convinced me not to."

"did you know why i arranged to dance with you while it snow? answer is because im romantic —"

he winked causing you to blush.

"but it's also because i love you. literally more than anyone could imagine. more than sunghoon could imagine and believe me he hears about it all the time. sometimes at 3 am. but that's because you're on my mind every single day, hour, minute, second. i love you so much it hurts that i cant confess to you, but it looks like it just did."

you were speechless. you didn't know what to say. it was like he read your mind because you had felt everything he felt. possibly even more.

"i love you too." you whispered. your mind was a mess. no words could really describe you how your felt this very moment, but one thing was for sure, you love heeseung too.

"i really do." you add on. you were still in his arms, looking as fragile as ever. so many things you wanted to say but only three words could really describe how your felt. "i love you."

heeseungs smiled. his eyes sparkled in the night as you told him you felt the same. your confession wasnt as great at his but it was perfect to him. more perfect than he could ever imagine.

"you know, i ran this scene through my mindso many times but it's way better than i thought."

you giggle and lean closer to his chest. "i'm glad you confessed first." he smiled and held you closer. the chill of the night fell in and it was time to go home.

"do me a favor and put that mistletoe up when you get home." you whispered against his shoulder. heeseung laughed, kissing your cheek softly.

🎬 노트 && . special thanks to yena ( @in2fly ) for giving me this idea when i was stuck!! i love you saur much!!

🧷 perm tl && . send ask or comment to be added

📋 series tl && . @in2fly @reader69sviewpoint @nhularin

[tiddygame]

i’ve stared at this for so long that i now hate it and think ive lost all concept of how to write so take this and get it out of my google docs

the introduction is rough and the medical depictions (and accuracy/realism) could use some (a lot of) work but whatever! here it is, my vague yet still oddly specific idea of how the face reveal would go in @myriadblvck ’s streamer au:

tw: description of a panic attack? i think?

[this takes place post first irl meet but before they’re officially together]

imagine ghost has a glasgow smile but on one side they carved a little too deep and left some nerve damage. time and surgery helped, after which he could eat unimpeded and talk without a lisp, but there's still some facial nerve damage and/or skin contractures from scarring, specifically around the corner of his mouth.

now, everytime he smiles, be it shit eating grin or a full genuine joy filled smile that not even grumpy mcgrumperson could hold off, it always looks wrong because one corner doesn't raise fully like the other.

everything else is fine, there isn’t any facial paralysis, he just smiles… wrong. especially since only one eye properly squints when he smiles, giving him the look of someone who got stuck mid wink.

if he wants to look “normal” (or as normal as he could get it) he has to manually squint his other eye. still, it always felt weird; you don't realize how much those muscles affect the rest of your face until they're gone.

it's why he learned to always wear the mask.

when his expression is neutral, you don’t really notice it. if you can see his mouth when he talks however, it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. he wouldn’t say he’s necessarily ashamed of the scars and damage itself, but it’s the stares that are the worst. before he started hiding behind it, people would openly gawk or even glare at him as if he was some ne’er-do-well gang member that got what was coming to him.

he still remembers the cosmetic surgeon that had been talking to him about fixing the contractures— the whole appointment was a fucking nightmare. the cuts had healed nicely enough especially considering how bad it could have been; he was lucky to only need a little cosmetic help. the only reason he was there was so he could fucking eat food without struggling to open his mouth.

the doctor spent god knows how long breaking down everything wrong with his face like he was a fucking car mechanic lying about how dirty your filter is. the guy constantly mentioned that while he was under, they could also fix his jawline, do a rhinoplasty, trying to break him down to agree to more work.

he was already fuming my the time the doc brought up how kids would react. asking ghost if he wanted to scare children since “you cant expect the little youngins that are still learning about the world to not get scared by something scary,” and that “even some adults would cringe at the scarring.”

what stuck out most was the condescending smile he had when he said it. as if he was pointing out the obvious and ghost was being stupid and shortsighted by not agreeing.

he declined everything except what was medically necessary. the procedure went fine and after an aggravatingly long recovery period, he could eat solid foods again without issue. but the comments still stuck with him.

…okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed.

scaring kids with your face doesn’t feel good and being reminded of everything you’ve lost when you try to smile can really fuck you up in a way words fail to describe.

so yeah, he hates it. he’s gotten used to the mask, both skull clad balaclava and simple medical mask, being a permanent layer of armor. even now that he’s a bit more comfortable in his own skin it still feels wrong to pull it off.

when he gets close to soap, it still feels like a layer of vulnerability that he’ll never be prepared for.

the first time he let soap see his face, there hadn’t been any grandiose build up, no extravagant planning.

simon had arrived just a few hours earlier. he hated commercial flights with a burning passion but it was always worth it to see johnny.

with soaps twin out of town for the week, he had decided to take leave to spend time with his friend, a friend that he most certainly did NOT have a crush on (a disclaimer roach and gaz heard everytime they started snickering over ghost taking leave.)

johnny had cooked something nice and simple for dinner, saying that simon had spent too long with MREs and deserved real food (ghost only agreed if he was the one washing the dishes, soap had laughed and told him he's not so kind as to let him off the hook for chores).

when they ate, it was always in the living room with johnny taking care to always stay angled away from simon, never trying to catch a glimpse, regardless of how much he wanted to see what was under the mask. the obvious gesture of kindness and respect for his boundaries always left him feeling all weird and fuzzy inside. but, then again, johnny seemed pretty good at triggering that feeling in general.

their finished plates were on the coffee table and johnny was watching whatever dumb movie he had put on. he was pretty sure the man spent more time talking over it and making fun of everything than he did actually watching it (it was simon’s favorite way to watch a movie.)

ghost however, was watching soap. thinking.

in the end, it was an impulsive decision made after a strong three seconds of consideration.

“you uhm— you can look by the way,” ghost stared at the can of soda in his hands, immediately regretting the words.

“what?” soap didn’t fully turn, just shifted slightly to hear him better. a simple gesture to show he was listening without turning to face him. it normally made simon happy to see that johnny was more than willing to accommodate for his boundaries. now though it made him feel stupid for robbing johnny of a normal face to face conversation, a normal human interaction, just over his idiotic insecurities.

“my face, you—,” he felt his heart block his airway and tried clearing his throat before continuing, “you can look if you want,” christ he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. why was he getting so fucked up over this?

“are you sure?” he hadn’t turned yet, but ghost could see his pensive expression from here. this should be nothing. realistically, he knew johnny seeing his scars wouldn’t suddenly make him hate him… right?

“yes.”

but it was more than the fear of hatred, wasn’t it? he was scared that johnny would see him. see more than just the scars, see all of the ugly idiosyncrasies and insecurities laid bare. afraid that johnny would see the truth of how unlovable he was.

jesus he was getting so fucking worked up and dramatic over nothing.

ghost didn’t look up. he made an effort to not focus on his peripheral vision. he heard soap turn, heard the intake of breath. the silence was loud only for a second. then, deafening white noise surrounded him, inescapable, suffocating.

fuck.

he didn’t regret giving permission but god did he regret everything else; the stupid scars, the stupid nerve damage, the stupid way he had managed to fall for someone so fucking good like johnny while he was unequivocally unworthy of his love.

stop being so fucking dramatic. you are not together, never have been and never will be. reality was blatant in front of him but it didn’t stop his heart from foolishly hoping.

he heard soap stand and walk closer. saw from where he was still staring a hole in the can his feet step in front of his. saw johnny’s hands raise. he took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and with a great deal of effort didn’t flinch when soaps fingers grazed his cheek.

both of his hands came up to cup his face, holding him and ever so slightly tilting his face up, giving him the chance to pull away. he didn’t. he may be a coward but he wasn’t backing down.

ghost eventually opened his eyes to see soap staring at him with wide eyes. he looked away, staring off to some point on the right. he hated not knowing what soap was thinking.

they stayed there for a while before soap broke the silence, muttering, “i fuckin knew you had freckles.”

it was stupid but it shocked a laugh out of ghost. he meant to drop his head, embarrassed that something so dumb made him laugh, but accidentally just pushed himself further into soaps hands making him blush.

he looked up and saw soap staring even harder than before. the chuckle died in his chest.

“do that again.”

ghost just gave him a confused look.

“smile.”

such a simple request, a one word sentence, but it set his face ablaze. his breath caught in his throat, somewhere around where his heart was still trying to choke him.

…he hadn’t thought it was that bad but soaps reaction indicated otherwise. fuck. was his it that awful? he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. this was stupid. he was stupid.

“simon,” of course, one word from johnny and it felt like he could breathe again.

“please?”

fucking goddamn soap and his stupid fucking puppy dog eyes and the way he has ghost wrapped around his fucking finger without even realizing.

ghost smiled. there was no real mirth, more a grimace than anything else. he just wanted to get this over with.

soap was still staring at him, his thumbs tracing his lips, following scars, drawing imaginary lines between freckles… if he wasn't so terrified it might have felt nice.

“Christ,” ghosts heart cracked more, “you weren't lying when you said you were beautiful.”

ghost huffed a laugh and went back to staring off to the right, the fake smile dropping. of course soap would try to lighten the mood with a joke.

his panic fled as quickly as it had consumed him, now just left sitting in soap's living room, face still cradled in caring hands, resigned to his mistakes.

he felt so tired and johnny's hands felt so inviting.

“i wasn't joking,” soap looked…upset? angry? wait— fuck, what’d he do?

ghost stared back at soap, confused and tired. soaps nails felt the grooves of the scar, catching where the skin was raised and lowered.

“you don't have to lie, soap. im a grown man. I'm not fragile. you don't need to coddle me,” ghost said it like it was a joke, hoping soap would laugh along and that this would all just blow over. that tomorrow morning they could forget this ever happened.

“are you calling me a liar?” soap’s brow furrowed. great. instead, he had managed to make everything worse and piss off soap as well.

ghost took in a deep breath, giving himself another shot at calming things down, “no, I'm not. I think you're lying, but you're not a liar,” he stood and stepped to the side, grabbing their dirty plates and walking them to the kitchen sink, “you just don't want to upset me, it's fine. I get it. you're a nice person but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I am not fucking lying!” as per usual, all ghost had managed to do was make things worse. there’s a reason he had decided to stick to the battlefield and give up on domesticity.

“well alright then. agree to disagree,” he turned the kitchen tap and started rinsing the dishes, waiting for the water to heat up. just walk away. end it there. let us forget about this stupid blunder and move on. please just leave it. please, please, please—

“no.”

the force behind it damn near made ghost drop the plate he was holding. he managed to set it in the sink carefully and turned to face soap, who was now in the kitchen as well.

“i— I'm not just gonna fucking— simon,” soap took in a deeper breath and went to continue but ghost was faster.

“johnny,” he interrupted, walking forward with his hands up in a gesture of surrender, approaching slowly.

one last chance to not fuck everything up.

“the fact is they're called deformities for a reason. they're not cute. they're not pretty. they're your body’s way of healing what it can and protecting what it can't. it's not meant to look nice, it's just—”

“bullshit they’re not pretty! says fucking who?” the genuine distress in soap’s voice and force behind his words caught him off guard. “simon—”

he huffed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, pulling slightly at the strands. christ, ghost needs to shut the fuck up. every single time he speaks he just upsets soap more and more.

he needs to retake his hostage negotiations courses. clearly he has forgotten everything about how to diffuse a situation.

johnny takes another second to breathe and collect his thoughts before he speaks.

“simon. I know that— that ‘this’ isn't something that's going to fix itself overnight and I don't expect it to. but, ‘the fact is,’ I think you're pretty.”

ghost opens his mouth to disagree but johnny doesn’t let him.

“no no,” johnny put his hand over simon’s mouth, shocking him into silence. he blinks twice, stupefied.

“i think— no. I know you're pretty. cute even. beautiful is a given but obviously worth mentioning.”

his hand moved to cup simon’s cheek. ghost grabbed his wrist but didn’t stop him, wether it was a warning or encouragement he himself didn’t know.

johnny continued, unperturbed, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right?”

there was a pause and simon realized he wanted an answer.

“johnny-”

“ah ah!” his hand moved back to cover his mouth, grabbing his face and shaking his head back and forth, over accentuating his words, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right? yes or no.”

he stopped shaking him and moved his hand back to simon’s cheek. simon sighed, defeated, “yes. you are right.”

johnny looked smug, “good. and what do you say when i give you a compliment you don’t agree with?”

simon sputtered, “wha— i don't fucking know—”

“nothing! you don’t say anything!” soap looked way too proud of himself and he continued, “or thank you if you feel so inclined.”

“that was a trick question,” simon replied eventually.

johnny thumbed over his scars once more, again tracing them, “sure it was. now go take a shower.”

he patted his cheek twice and walked to the hallway.

“wait,” johnny probably shook the few remaining brain cells out of his head. “this whole conversation ends with you telling me that I stink?”

“yes. rancid,” johnny opened the door to the linen closet. simon was still in the kitchen. the tap was still running.

“no dipshit, do you not remember telling me that commercial planes makes you feel gross?” johnny threw a towel at him, which he caught just in time for johnny to hit him with a bath rag.

ghost had mentioned that… ages ago, he thinks. on facetime with each other, discussing the merits of bathrooms on public transport. he had said that enclosed, crowded spaces like commercial planes or buses made him feel, well, gross. how—or why—did he remember that?

“but… I’m supposed to wash the dishes?” a weak argument against the stubbornness he was faced with but simon had officially lost track of his mind and this conversation.

johnny shot him a weird look as he walked back towards the kitchen sink. simon still hadn’t moved.

“did you think i was being serious earlier?”

“yes???” he felt like he had been given a lobotomy.

johnny decided to take pity on him and explained in a soft voice that felt out of place, “i was being sarcastic. i’m not going to make you wash the dishes, simon.”

“but that was the agreement: you cook and i wash the dishes.”

johnny laughed as if he remembered something funny, “yeah, i lied.”

simon still stood there, trying to figure out if he had a stroke. johnny had been angry, completely pissed at him, but now was letting him off the hook and calling him pretty? what the fuck is happening?

johnny turned him and pushed him towards the hallway. simon could have resisted but his resolve always seems to crumble around johnny mactavish.

“now go shower, you beautiful bastard,” soap grabbed one of the plates out of the sink and started washing it with water that had probably heated ages ago.

ghost walked towards the bathroom, feeling like he was on autopilot, limbs disconnected from his brain. his cheek still felt… odd? weird? tingly?

it felt something from where johnny had grabbed it. ghost thinks… he thinks he likes the feeling, whatever it is.

he needs to sleep.

[doberbutts]

i think what is making me speechless about people interacting with that post is the absolute obtuse way they steer around “poc men” where they state that men are oppressors but poc are minorities and dont benefit from male privilege and then run miles trying to avoid the most straight question of “then what do you consider a poc man then? what of this experience i have had?” to which they are running with the idea of a cishet white patriarchal idea of men with privilege and oppressor status- and refusing to analyze their own inherent racism when they state all men are oppressors and therefore all men should be quiet and listen to women- but of course poc is an oppressed class and dont need to be quiet and that no one would ever say that- but also men need to understand all women are afraid of men. they are refusing to interact with this flat out not controversial statement that the popfeminist/radfem-lite is not intersectional and erases peoples lived experiences, all because they dont want to do the work to unlearn their discomfort and know that they themselves are not immune to “being a bad feminist”. i myself as a mixed poc tmasc have a kneejerk discomfort to cis women due to my exwife leveraging radfem logic against me as a way to subdue and erase my voice and lived experiences because once i started to identify as masculine i was choosing the side of the patriarchy- but i acknowledge that my discomfort is from my own past experience and that i cant treat every woman like they would treat me the same that she did; so all of these users adding to your post, running themselves around in circles to state that they are in the right to continue to stereotype all and every man (but no not every man- poc are not a Man because they arent racist of course) as privilaged and predatory and therefore its the mans responsibility to bend over backwards for their or other people they are speaking on behalf ofs (lets go out to their fields to find the strawman out there) comfort; because feminism means men need to make themselves smaller- like PLEASE!!! these people need to evaluate their own biases and stop showing their entire behinds on a post that they want to interact with but also not be corrected on and please please please pick up 1 (one) bell hooks book (which they wont because they dont read anything, they just have other people tell them what the right things to say are)

sorry about my ramble- it might not be cohesive, but i am absolutely aghast and agog at the gall these people have to be telling you that you are incorrect and that they are simply stating the “accepted truth” of “feminist spaces” while they most certainly are not and are being incredibly dense about plain facts

Yeah I hit my breaking point the other day when I said the word evil. I am not proud of that moment but also I don't know how else to describe what I feel every time this happens. How can anyone look at the body count and say that's acceptable collateral damage as long as their feelings of safety (real safety be damned) are guaranteed.

[jackiespurnell]

I cant think of anything different for Jackie as an ask but i would like to hear your take on her character. Maybe bless us with a character analysis???

ahhh okay!!! i have so many thoughts on her!!!! for starters, i wanna talk about why i think some ppl in the fandom hate her sm cause ive never seen anyone whos neutral on her tbh like either ur a jackie anti or a jackie stan theres no in between.

i see a lot of people using the fact that her only crime was being a teeanage girl as an argument to defend her and while i wholeheartedly believe that, i think that’s the exact reason why people dislike her. i think a natural instinct that viewers have when watching a show is to take the sides of the "heroes." people usually root for the people with the best moral code (which is why nat is so beloved, besides the fact that she's hot asf). but in a show based on survival, where morals for the most part go out the window the second everyone is stranded in the wilderness together, nobody cares if you're the realest or the more relatable. in fact, i think in a show that is based on things that are highly unlikely to happen/deals with topics outside of everyday things, you're more likely to prefer characters that aren't real. in stuff like yellowjackets, people want the batshit crazy ones. they want the cult leaders and the butchers and the psychopaths. its made very clear that jackie isnt any of these things. you dont go into a show about cannibalism and murder and survival and think of a character like jackie. 

she's not the typical final girl. shows like these make you want to root for actively seek final girls. so of course, most people aren't going to gravitate towards jackie. i think ive seen maybe two people aside from myself on tumblr who jackie is their number one character and theres a reason for that. shes simply not what most yellowjackets viewers are looking for.

also, shes just a girl trying to fit into society and doing a pretty damn good job at it, at least on the outside. i think that’s another part of the reason she has so many antis, because 99% of the people want to fit in one way or another but if you’re getting seen/treated as an outcast, of course you’re going to envy the cool, popular girl. it would be another story if she was bitchy and mean but the fact that she’s so nice probably bugs people too without them even realizing it. sorry, but it’s the truth - people hate girls who are pretty and kind. jackie is that.

now, im not saying she’s perfect whatsoever, she has several flaws, she can be super vain and demanding sometimes, and even bossy, although i do believe a lot of that comes from obliviousness and compulsory heterosexuality (which, i won’t get too into cause i feel like a lot of people have already talked about it).

now, for a character study i think her defining trait is her popularity which is insanely sad, but also, its true. you see that she only knows how to be a cool, popular high schooler and the second all that doesn’t matter anymore, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. there’s a mitski songs with the lyrics “if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn’t know how to be alive” and i think that describes her perfectly. in a time and society where everyone has a public and a private side, and i think spent so long crafting ‘public jackie’ that she forgot how to be ‘private jackie.’ she spent so long trying to be a pretty girl that she forgot how to be just a girl.

i also think a reason that she was so kind to misty - outside of her just being a kind person - is the fact that jackie saw herself in misty. while i don’t think jackie was ever unpopular, i don’t personally believe that was always as cool and charismatic and we see her in high school. i think she was always charming to a certain extent, but i truly think entering high school she went the extra mile to become beloved and popular. misty was trying to do the same thing as jackie, she was trying so hard, and as much as i love misty, she was failing. jackie felt bad for her because she knew, not so long ago, she was kind of similar to her. jackie was also trying too hard. i saw an ella purnell interview where she said that sometimes she (ella) forgot she was a person, instead of a brand and i believe jackie resonates with that. she forgot she was a person, not just a popular girl.

she forgot who she actually was outside the makeup and the smiles and the perfect girl persona so much so that when the plane crashed, she didn’t know how to be. because while the other girls slipped out of their public image, jackie didn’t know who she was outside of her public image.

it got so bad that i don’t even think shauna truly loved her. shauna, who just wanted what was best for her best friend. shauna, who never really wanted jackie to die. shauna never really loved her, because shauna never really knew her. we see loads of bunnies around adult shauna’s house, when in reality, we know jackie hated bunnies. even shauna only saw the idea of jackie that she showed people, and that’s not shauna’s fault by any means, but it just goes to show that jackie never really let anyone in.

i think the most tragic thing about jackie by far, is that, ultimately, she just wanted to be loved. and she thought that by putting on this whole facade of having her life together and being the cool, hot soccer captain, people would appreciate and love her. but she mistaked being loved for being admired. and, as sad as it is, i think jackie died without anybody truly loving the real her.

tysm for the ask @yourlocalsaiko

[princescar]

what makes me so crazy is matsuda doesnt really want to hurt anyone, he wants to do good for the world but is stuck in this endless cycle of trying to keep the girl he loves safe. did he have to kill those people? yes. because it would keep her safe. did he have to hide those bodies? also yes. because it kept her safe. did he have to drug her? yes. because shes trying to end the world and hurt herself along with it. while technically he didnt have to do any of this it wouldve killed him to let her get hurt or die, thats why he tries to kill her because maybe then she’ll stop being such a risk to herself. fully believe he either wouldnt have gone through with it or if he did kill her he wouldve gone down with her. he cant live without her, and after everything she does remember him. scrubs face Hi

He loves her so much it slaughters me.

Like, the contrast between his previous two murders and how he tries to kill her. With Soshun he's trying to dissociate, he dehumanizes him and refers to him as a "thing", and he has to squeeze his eyes shut because he just can’t handle it. It's horrific. With Yuto, its quick but violent, head completely snapped at 180 degrees. He feels guilt, but he’s at the point where he doesn’t really care, because its no longer the worse thing he's done. His death isn’t lingered on. Its detached.

But with Ryoko, he is described as being gentle multiple times, he's looking into her eyes. He tries to be comforting by telling her she doesn’t have to remember anymore. Its romantic. Soshun is a threat to junko's safety, so he is viewed as a monster. Yuto is an obstacle in the way of protecting Junko, so he is viewed as an object. Ryoko is Junko, so this is viewed as an act of love.

I noticed that he will often talk about how necessary killing them was for junko's sake, but he’s only saying that to himself to make the guilt go down easier; as mastuda knew soshun couldn’t hear him and yuto was dead (and he didn’t acknowledge ryoko's presence until after) when he said he needed to kill them for her. But he outright says that killing Junko is for his sake, and its another parallel i find so interesting.

[butchyeons]

Ur gp jeongyeon has me thinking many thoughts … u mentioned the other members tho and that has me curious. Any gp headcannons about any of the members (whoever or how ever many u want im not picky I’ll truly take anything lol) will be much enjoyed hope ur having a nice day/night depending on when ur reading this lol :D

hi, omg once again i’m so sorry this sat in my inbox for so long. work’s been a nightmare 😭 but i am so happy to answer this. i’m just gonna go with the rest of my bias line for this (namohyo), but, i can definitely give ones for the other members in the future too. they’ll be under the cut!!

cis men and minors dni.

nayeon:

i love nayeon so much… but it isn’t the biggest

probably around 5" when she’s hard

but god will she act like she’s got the biggest dick on the planet 😭

and the others let her bc 1. it’s cute and 2. if it means it’ll get nayeon down their throat or fucking them, then yes, absolutely she’s got such a huge dick they can barely take it!!!1! y’know. full show she loves an ego boost lmao

could be cut or uncut i cant make a decision. i just personally think uncut is hotter so we’ll go with that

underwear thief… she likes to. yknow. cum in them and then leave it for the other members to find later. FREAK

she also just likes to smell them while she jacks off

not much of a toy user, she’s perfectly fine with her hands (bc they’re big anyways). but she does like a nice butt plug on occasion

definitely vers, but likes being in charge, so she’s usually more dominant

… but sometimes (if she’s having a rough day), she loves to be pampered and will sit there and just take whatever’s given to her, be it a hj/bj/or getting fucked by another member

greedy tho she likes to go until she’s shooting blanks. like she’s one of the only members who can cum more than once during a session lmao, she will go until there’s literally nothing left

it twitches a lot. it’s also fun to watch it pulse when she cums, and it’s even more fun when there’s literally nothing left coming out of her

but bc she’s good at finishing more than once it comes out in smaller loads. if that makes sense. she doesn’t cum nearly as much as some other members (see: momo)

her dick might be on the smaller side but god does she know how to use it! she’s very good at fucking idek how to describe it

can last a decent amount of time, likes to take it slow. she’s overly a tease, but it’s so worth it with her

sleeps naked bc she doesn’t care who sees lmao. usually wears briefs though. if she’s feeling fancy though she does wear cute panties bc she likes seeing her bulge in them, esp when she gets hard LMAO

and also if she’s naked it’s… easier access. she’s definitely into somno. that’s probably one of the only times she doesn’t mind not being in control- she likes being used like a little toy to get the other members off, takes a lot of pride in it

momo:

now… she’s big. she’s up there with jeongyeon in how big it is

again probably 7-8" hard

but unlike jeongyeon she is so fucking sensitive

like oh god. one of her favorite things to do is get hard in her boxers and just… either she touches herself over them or she kinda humps the air until she cums (and absolutely ruins them). it doesn’t take very long

it’s a pretty sight do you blame her

she can absolutely cum untouched

or, her preferred method, is finishing after just getting fucked in the ass. with a toy, another member fucking her, or even her own fingers- but her cock didn’t get touched once. she just loves the feeling of like… an unsatisfying orgasm LMAO

and when she cums there’s… a lot of it

frotting ❤️

also a big fan of getting her balls sucked LMAO. if they have more time the other members definitely try their hardest to make momo last, and that’s one way to do it

again i can’t pick if she’s cut or uncut, however, uncut is still so hot and i think momo would rlly like foreskin play (that’s her really freaky thing LMAO)

she’s just so sensitive, poor baby. the other members love teasing her about it, and they especially love to just… lightly circle the head of her cock with their fingers until she cums. as much as she will whine about it

the head flushes bright pink it’s adorable

again she’s a vers but wayyy more submissive. she’s puppy idk what you expect she will do whatever she’s told and she will take whatever she’s given!

dumbification >>>

but since she doesn’t last very long, she usually ends up bottoming more than anything else (not like she’s complaining)

she gets overstimulated pretty fast after she cums and although that’s fun and all, she can only last for so much longer after she finishes. very much a one and done girl

but bc of that the members tend to go to her for quick sessions, simple and fast handjobs or blowjobs. momo loves to give and receive both so she’s very fun to play with!

overall good girl for everyone, occasionally a brat for nayeon and jeongyeon (bc they’re older than her and she likes their punishments the most)

sleeps in boxers and a shirt mostly, sometimes sleeps naked. boxer briefs are the way to go for her, though.

jihyo:

on the average side, despite what most people would probably think 😭

so 6-6 1/2"

talk about people who know how to use it though oh my god

she definitely lasts the longest out of everyone in the group. great stamina, doesn’t just go ramming it in lmfao. depending on who she’s with and what’s going on for the group, she prefers to take her time working them up or getting worked up

idk she just loves foreplay

also has a sensitive chest, so she loves getting touched there before her dick is ever even thought about. loves getting covered in hickeys, too- but she doesn’t get those much bc yknow… her job

it is very much worth the scolding by her managers and makeup artists though

definitely uncut i am so sure about this

her and jeongyeon have absolutely done questionable things together when it comes to having foreskin. no i am not going into detail but i’m sure you can figure it out 😭

she really does love getting her dick sucked though

and since she’s not huge, she really loves when she gets deep throated. once again sana and nayeon are exceptionally good at this! but chaeyoung also surprises her

not necessarily a big toy user. she doesn’t love fleshlights or anything like it. her hand is really enough for her

but please god somebody suck this girl off!!!

vers and a switch, just depends on who she’s with. she leans more into being a top, though. i fear she just wants to stick her dick in anyone who’s willing to let her fuck them

doesn’t mind bottoming though, she likes feeling full. loves being full of cum, too. LMAO. it’s just always a bit of a cleanup

big fan of cockwarming, esp since it takes her longer to finish. it’s just nice for her

she especially loves falling asleep cockwarming- just something about waking up and she’s still hard and buried in someone (esp if it’s nayeon or mina)

lowkey it’s a running competition to see who can get jihyo to finish the fastest (and sana is winning)

once again… frotting ❤️

esp when whoever she’s doing it with is bigger than her

loves when the other members call her pretty or talk about how cute or big she is. that’s a good way to get her worked up fast

likes briefs the most. she hates how boxers will ride up under her pants. usually just sleeps in underwear and a t-shirt

once again thank you for this it was… very fun, and also very hot lmao. i love you g!p twice!

[shalomniscient]

maybe the kid's bio parents had kept them some far away place for safety but a small kid's brain cant comprehend that idea so it assumes their parents just left them. i can see feixiao leaving for front line duty when they are asleep, so when it wakes up to no feixiao beside them, it feels abadoned again. when feixiao returns back to the base, she finds the kid curled up in some corner crying and when they see feixiao they run towards her and beg her to not leave them alone and that they will be good and won't annoy her ☹️☹️☹️☹️ i know her heart must have broke hearing their sobs.

if caiyi is alive when she meets the little kid, she's def seeing her little baby in them bonus if they are the same age. it breaks heart seeing how traumitized and heartbroken it is, always tries to cheer up the kid. she always tries to communicate the kid even if the convo is one-sided cuz she knows how isolated it feels.

other than feixiao, i can see the kid liking yukong a lot, maybe putting her up in #2 on the list of soliders they like. shes calm and isn't pushy like the soliders. the kid does become pampered a lot by the soliders, a lot of them have small siblings or families back home so seeing this kid just makes them want to have that closure of not being able to be with them at the moment.

military base isn't exactly best enviroment for a kid to grow up so feixiao will find the quickest way to meet up with r. it takes months for the kid to start falling asleep alone, they usually clinged to feixiao and r after they got close. weekly therapy sessions, i can see the kid getting into speech therapy since not speaking at such a young age can cause so much damage in their speaking abilities later in life.

when the kid grows up, maybe graduates high school, feixiao saves up all her holidays to be able to attend and seeing her little baby in a coat and a hat makes her realize how strong and grown up her baby is ☹️☹️

ok im done brainrotting sorry for yapping once i yap i cant be stopped 😭😭

i think it'd definitely be interesting if the kid feixiao found was more timid and skittish like you've described, because feixiao herself was the complete opposite when yueyu found her. feixiao knew from the start what she wanted to do; she wanted an end to the war, she wanted to ensure no one else had to suffer under the rule of the borisin. so for her kid to be more fearful would definitely be not an issue but a challenge to raise because she can't fall back on the way yueyu raised her.

she definitely becomes a lot softer with the kid. she wants them to feel safe above all else, and will go to great lengths to ensure it. her room while still deployed gains a few more knick-knacks instead of its usual spartan layout; whatever things for kids she can find on base she'll try to put in her room. so stuff like empty books and crayons so the kid can draw, a plush toy and the like. it'll be difficult for sure because those aren't things normally found on a military base, but feixiao makes it work until she gets to go home. she also moves her weapons to another room so the kid doesn't accidentally hurt herself.

feixiao would definitely keep an eye on the kid at all times if she can, especially around her troops. i don't think she'd let the kid even be alone with the troops, because most of the time they'll be armed to the teeth and it may startle or frighten the kid. that being said, there definitely are some she trusts more around the kid. i'd say moze > yukong, but only because in this specific moment in the au yukong is already retired and wouldn't be on base. moze, on the other hand, would, and i don't think he exactly "gets along" with the kid in the traditional sense but him being nearby does give the kid some sense of safety when feixiao isn't around because feixiao trusts moze. moze doesn't really "play" with the kid, moreso just sort of sitting nearby observing them and making sure they don't end up doing anything dangerous.

once feixiao returns from deployment though, the kid definitely warms up to yukong and jiaoqiu pretty quick. yukong because she just has that sort of air about her, motherly and calming, and the same goes for jiaoqiu but moreso in a chill uncle kind of way. they also warm up quickly to them because they can sense the amount of trust feixiao has in yukong and jiaoqiu. yukong and caiyi's daughter, qingni, is probably going to be a little older than the kid, but once feixiao's kid is more settled in they definitely become playmates. qingni likely takes on a more older sister role.

it takes a while for the kid to adjust to a peaceful life. i think initially the kid would be a little wary of r, solely because now at home feixiao's attention will be split between them and r, and it likely brings up some unpleasant feelings and fear of abandonment. but after some coaxing and talks from feixiao they'll come around to r, learning that feixiao has enough love in her heart for both of them. feixiao for sure gets therapy for the kid, and sits in when she can. she'll be so proud of them when they speak their first few full sentences, celebrating the achievement with a big dinner. she understands this is a battle her kid must face on their own, but it doesn't mean she can't support them as best she can. feixiao is very generous with her encouragement and it helps smoothen out the kid's journey to being able to speak like other kids their age.

there will definitely be tears at the kid's graduation, and really any big milestone in their life. she's also 100% going to be there, she dgaf. the xianzhou army can survive without her for one day. despite how they've grown, feixiao can never forget the way they were when she first found them. it's why she's so so proud of her baby and how far they've come. i think in some capacity it's healing for her too, in the sense that she returns to the battlefield over and over so that her kid would never have to. when she looks at her kid she sees all the reasons to keep fighting, but also to keep living. it's a very tender moment and the big strong general is all misty eyed when they step off the podium and run into her arms the way they did all those years ago.

[wonnieluvr]

okay i have to say i hate emily. shes a bitch and i hate what she did to jamie and gray but i cant deny her character is so fascinating. shes literally like if greed was a person?

dont get me wrong as much as i hate her i understand the whole risk taking thing and wanting those experiences she never got to have BUT saying that she didnt need two boyfriends??? she literally could have experienced all the same things she did with one. thats why shes greed. she just took and took everything. from both of them and rebecca too.

but i just dont understand why she had such an effect on everyone? like avery describes her as pretty but she also said she was nowhere near as beautiful as rebecca. is it because she was sick and everyone felt bad? but like even then i cant imagine emily being a pleasant person to be around so i dont get how she made friends with anyone let alone dated two people 😭 but that could also be because we never met her? like we don't really know anything about her which is also really interesting to me. we know of her but that's only everyone's versions of her.

on a different note i keep thinking about the way jamie and gray had different feelings for her. like i just think that while jamie did love her but he didnt love her, you know? gray did. i assume thats why jamie wasnt as affected by eve, he didnt love emily the same way gray did.

jamie feels that way for avery so while eves appearance surely shocked him it still didnt take over and bring up old feelings (for a completely new person lmao)

(i also do know that he knew about eve before but theres still something different between hearing things and seeing them)

jamie and avery are perfect for each other but thats a different thought too. i'm so glad they never really fought because of eve (thank god, i would have cried)

but back on topic, i doubt emily loved them back. like, i feel like its the sort of situation where she just wanted to feel wanted. she probably mistook that for love and assumed she wanted both of them? but its all she ever had growing up too? familiarity? like its suggested that her parents were completely focused on her their whole lives and loved her (she was their miracle baby sort of though so i do kinda get that) but also like i wholeheartedly believe everything starts with the parents.

they were such a big influence in her life, they gave her everything, sacrificed everyone and everything for her and kept her happy. this comes back to the greed thing too. they gave her this idea that everything would bend to her will and she would always get what she wanted. (if you can't tell i have strong feelings about the influence parents have and how they raise their children cus it literally dictates someones whole life until they have clarity smh)

i think the whole jumping off the cliff thing too was like her acting out. she reminds me of gray in that way, she was losing control and she needed to do something she wanted to regain it. she knew she couldnt handle it but she couldnt handle not getting what she wanted more. idk if that makes sense but shes like trying to prove to herself and everyone else that she was fine with jamie breaking things off, that she could handle not being wanted and adored regardless of her actions and she was losing control of everything ig? idk i just think its really interesting the way she took things to an extreme because i imagine she was probably trying to do something else, something worse than what she feeling to get it to go away? emotions are so interesting in that way.

like rebecca (in her mind) was turning against her, jamie was leaving her and her parents would have stopped her from going with gray if they had known and at the time that was (hinted at) being what she really wanted to do and they were all telling her no. she took the only thing she had left to control (gray) and was trying to prove she was fine.

i cant put into words how many layers all of these characters have like jlb wrote such a wonderful series and i cant stop thinking about all the characters. i have so many thoughts running through my head and i could write a take on everyone ☹️

[yandere-romanticaa]

To the anon who was asking abt sex! Here’s my two cents based off of experience..

1. Cockwarming is not like,,, pleasurable. Like when I read fics abt it and the reader is all squirmy and whatever it really doesn’t make sense. If the guy isn’t moving then it doesn’t really feel like anything, and it gets a little uncomfortable after a few minutes of no movement. It’s kinda like using a tampon. I definitely think that the pleasure derived from this is more mental than physical. Only the guy really gets anything physical out of it.

This kind applies to vibrators too. Like internal vibrators are not crazy stimulating but it is enough to make you distracted. But to each their own I suppose.

2. Sex in general. Internal stimulation (P in V) is good, and if I had to describe it I would say it feels like a bruise repeatedly. It’s hard to describe. Like it hurts but not in an ‘ow’ way, it feels good. Definitely a feeling that gets the legs shaking after repeated thrusting against that spot.

BUT, I cant finish without stimulation to my clit. It’s definitely different for everybody, but in my case I need clitorial stimulation or else it just feels like I’m on the edge the whole time (which, by the way, is a very unsatisfying feeling).

And thrusting it all in like in one go isn’t possible, remember that your vagina is one giant muscle, and when you stretch a muscle to hard and fast it strains and it doesn’t feel good. Foreplay is very helpful bc it loosens you up first, but even then you can’t force it in at one go. You kinda gotta start with the tip first and use short movements to slowly fit the whole thing in.

AND YES!!! THE STRETCH HURTS!!!! If you aren’t prepared properly or your partner just shoves it in it feels like your skin is being stretched (like a rubber band being stretched so much that it’s about to snap) and it’s a sharp pain and you could tear. SO FOREPLAY MATTERS!!!!

3. Cervix stuff… 😭😭😭 Guys. You can NOT thrust into the cervix. These fics are LYING TO YOU!!! It’s literally like trying to thrust through bone, the cervix is hard and even inserting thin items like a Q tip fucking HURTS. Unless it’s like monster fucking with ovipositors then it’s just straight unrealistic. A díck can NOT push through.

Some women find it painful even when their cervix is just thrusted against. (It doesn’t hurt for me so I don’t mind but majority of all the gals I’ve spoken to DONT like it. One of my friends even threw up during sex one time from the pain.)

4. Mind break. Not a real thing. Sorry. After so many rounds, no matter how high your drive is, the sex just starts to feel uncomfortable. Don’t push yourself past that point, listen to your body and know your limits. Because once it feels uncomfortable it kinda starts to hurt. This applies for the guys too. It just stops feeling good after a while and you leave that sort of lust-haze and become very lucid (post-nut clarity LMAOOO), which also makes you feel the discomfort even more.

So yeah, mind break via sex just isn’t a thing because your body literally has a limit. Overstimulation is real but your body has limits for that too. Like after so many orgasms I can’t touch my clit or it feels like a sharp pain. (Again, everyone is different but that’s just me)

And yeah. That’s all I can rlly think of.

This was an interesting read!!!!! I think that smut may or may not have poisoned my brain a little bit so this felt like a breath of fresh air. Of course, one should never take smut too seriously as it is primarily for entertainment, but it really does feel like things can mess you up if you're an inexperienced pookie such as myself!

Truth be told, sex scares me. Like, a lot.

I am in my early 20's and there is this societal expectation that I need a boyfriend. I also live in a fairly conservative country which honestly doesn't help me at all. And it's low key expected from couples to just go at a few months into the relationship, sometimes even after a few weeks depending on the person. That's how most of my friends/acquaintances did it anyway.

Just the thought of a man seeing me so naked and vulnerable like that, it brings tears to my eyes. It legit scares me so much. Buddy, if you see me in my birthday suit you are NOT going anywhere LMAO, you'll have to marry me, I'm sorry -

I've been called an uptight and boring prude for having this kind of mentality and I get it. But I can't help it, I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to have that kind of physical connection with anyone unless I know them inside and out 😓 I'm too scared and too insecure for my own good... I also have a few stretch marks on my stomach, which I really hate, I really do. I don't think I could handle the humiliation of another person ever seeing them.