#i cant believe you come into my home just to roast me

[agendabymooner]

ride home ! carlos s. x ofc (filipino!content creator!ofc)

“and my weary heart has come to rest in yours.”

summary: carlos sainz accidentally outed himself as a married man and his wife is filipino, which is quite ironic if you would look at the history between the two nations. OR mona magdalena was something of a surprise to the f1 world as she’s something of an… ordinary person. but the ferrari driver’s in love with her and that’s enough for anyone to understand.

content warning: established relationship, use of explicit language, unclear plot (intro to carlos sainz’ ofc wife), fluff, lando = knowing something you don’t, poorly translated comments, mentions cheating (no one did), connected to the alessandro/hearth universe (see masterlist)

note: there will be a translation to some of the words in this post (context: spain colonized philippines for 300 years and language/culture/practices were adapted from spain.)

this is a self-indulgent fic. a little bit of it i think. this came from my halo-halo homies’ asks and i was inspired to write. i should write some fernando alonso soon, no? enjoy xx

masterlist

liked by carlossainzjr, landonorris, zildbenitez

user1 CONGRATS MAMITAAAA

user2 welcome back to philippines magda!!

zildbenitez sex or chocolate? liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena the city by the 1975

user3 i cant believe that you’re working a regular job in spain/england while you’re a whole ass celebrity in the philippines 😭 liked by monamagdalena

monamagdalena duality of a woman 😉

benandbenmusic gimmick sa’n? where should we hangout?

monamagdalena i want some inasal :)

benandbenmusic bet, meet u at the nearest mang inasal then 🫶

carlossainzjr y u so pretty cariño? liked by monamagdalena

carlossainzjr posted a story !!!

this story in unavailable

[translation: my wife should just quit her day job and come travel with me]

[translation: there’s no one i would yearn for more than you, my lovely lady.]

tagged monamagdalena

liked by charles_leclerc, blastersilonga, landonorris

user1 ok but why doesn’t she give wag vibes? did she ever attend any of his race?

user2 she doesn’t seem to be like his type tbh. why does she have a huge fanbase?

user3 bestie they’re married- what more can they do?

user4 she’s hella gorgeous

user5 i didn’t even know who carlos was until now :’] magda really chose the perfect one 😭

user6 welcome to the pits of hell we call f1. ferrari’s at the deepest depth - carlos drives for ferrari

user7 y’all btches blind if you don’t see the heart eyes carlos is giving her

user8 he’s so in love i wish that were me

landonorris ok but i’m rooting for you two though 🥲 liked by carlossainzjr and monamagdalena

monamagdalena thanks, lando! i’m also rooting for us :)

monamagdalena you’re the best partner to have existed. mahal kita sobraaaaaa ❤️ i love you soooo much liked by carlossainzjr

carlossainzjr see you soon cariño ❤️

user8 she really said “colonizing his heart” 😭

user9 who cooks better though?

carlossainzjr her because she grew up with a single mother only and they always make the best cuisines - lena taught me how to cook most filipino dishes

monamagdalena most filipino dishes that NEED to be paired with rice 🥲 i get so lonely having to eat rice by myself at times

landonorris you should have me over so we can eat rice together

monamagdalena you betcha. i’ll be making you dinner like it’s a filipino birthday party lando!

user10 now THAT is the dream 😩 imagine being so sweet that you’d make your husband’s mate some roast pans full of filipino food and pull up the karaoke ughhh so mother of u

bonus !!!

translation

mahal / irog = terms of endearment, “love”

[armigcr]

@valfreyan​ asked:   but what that mouth /really/ do? definitely not eating vegetables ig.

    " i’m tellin’ you, they’re... icky. ”

[i90o3]

HELLO

you should do genshin impact boys reacting to you pulling a deez nuts joke on them because I pull deez nuts jokes on my sister all the time #girlboss

Reacting to “deez nuts” Jokes

scaramouche x reader | diluc x reader (separate)

A/N: Added a your mom joke for scara’s part. This was super funny to write, i love writing stuff like this 😭 Scaramouche’s part is longer because i didn’t really know what to do for diluc’s but I already had an idea for scara’s

Summary—> you pull a deez nuts/yo mom joke on your boyfriend/husband to see their reaction.

warning(s)/genre—> Fluff, cursing, threats(scaramouche’s part) mentions of goreific actions. Not proofread.

Diluc;

> Man how could you pull a deez nuts joke on this poor man. My guy is so confused.

> Slowly turns his head towards your direction and raises a brow and shoots you a look of, “what did you just say to me?”

> would be even more confused when you start rolling on the ground laughing your ass off

> would result in asking kaeya and venti what it means because they say it all the time to each other but he just doesn’t pay attention enough to care.

> kind of disappointed but finds it funny how you managed to pull one on him after he finds out what the joke is.

It was just the two of you in the tavern, diluc was behind the bar cleaning up and you were sitting at one of the stools waiting for him to finish up. When you remembered the prank kaeya told you to pull. You decided to take the opportunity you had right now.

You have the smuggest smile plastered on your face. Clearing your throat, you start, “Luc’…I cant believe you did that..” you gasp. He slightly turns his head and raises a brow. “What? did I do something wrong?” Your smile widens, oh how sad that he walked in to your little trap.. ”DID DEEZ NUTS, OOHHH!!” You scream almost at the top of your lungs and burst out laughing.

He whips his head around, with the most confused and shocked look on his face and raises his brow, “What? what did you just say?” He just watches you cough and laugh as you try to explain your joke, but your laughing too hard and can’t seem to let any words escape your mouth. He sighs.

The next day when kaeya and venti are in the bar, he hesitated, but turns to them with the most serious face and asks, “What is..’deez nuts’?” Venti spits out his wine and kaeya is just shocked. They explain it to him threw giggles, but he understood.

Once he gets home he finds you on the couch and walks up to you kissing your neck, “Nice joke, love, I’m surprised you managed to catch me off guard like that.”

“yeah sorry about that..SORRY DEEZ NUTS ARENT IN YOUR MOUTH!!” You say pointing to him and giggling. He just chuckles contently and soaks in the sound of your laughs.

Scaramouche;

> what. the. absolute. fuck? did you just say? to me?

> looks at you with the most disgusted face. Why, just why.

> legit wants to break your neck after hearing those words come out of your mouth. But holds himself back because he (sadly) loves you.

> but ends up ignoring you until your on your knees begging for him to talk to you.

He was rambling (complaining) about something the new recruits did and how they did something wrong and almost got the whole team killed on a mission, and how they can’t do anything right. and how he wants to strangle them and slowly watch them die and suffer and-

“it’s not that deep bro..” you cut him off.

“what the fuck do you mean ‘not that deep’ yes it fucking is I-“

“DEEP INSIDE YOUR MOM, OOHHHH BOOM ROASTED.”

He stares at you.

you stare back.

“..”

“…”

Gets up from his seat and walks over to you and gives you the deadliest glare ever.

It makes you giggle a bit, you quickly cover your mouth hoping he didn’t hear; but you can’t help it, you burst out laughing, holding your side because it hurts from laughing so much.

Watches you stumble on to the ground from laughing so hard. Gives you the dirtiest, most disgusting look ever. Like he just watched someone pick out there own limbs out of there body and eat them.

“I can’t even. describe. how much. I despise you right now.”

you look up at him wiping the tears from your eyes trying to catch your breath. You reach out for him to help you up, but he swats your hand away and storms off.

He’s mad at you for the whole day. Grumpy and pissed off. yelling at new recruits (and childe) for no reason.

You finally catch up to Scara at the end of the day. You fall to your knees and grip the clothing of his shorts and start rapidly apologizing, swearing you’ll never do it again.

He’s looking down at you with his arms crossed. Silently enjoying the show of how pathetic you are right now. “..hm, fine, I forgive you. But your not allowed to talk to anyone else but me for a whole week.”

9:21 am 8/25/2021

[thefanficmonster]

Much Cooler

Corpse Husband & Emma Langevin 

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: There’s always a certain level of uncertainty when meeting someone you’ve only known online. There’s that sense of insecurity that your relationship with them will never be the same or - even worse - that their view of you might change for the worse. But there’s nothing more thrilling than seeing the person you’ve been talking to constantly for the past however long standing across from you. 

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request and I’m so terribly sorry for how late it’s coming out but I hope the fic makes it worth the wait! Lots of love, Vy ❤

“CORPSE! Wake up you famous dumbass!“ is the first thing the poor man heard over the phone at 9 AM on this fine Saturday morning.

It’s more than enough to make him contemplate why he even decided to pick it up in the first place considering he wouldn’t have been very able to participate in the conversation due to his sleepiness. He also, of course, made the mistake of not checking the caller ID which apparently wasn’t necessary considering how recognizable that voice and accent are.

“It’s 9 AM, Emma.“ He states as a tired parent would to a child, “I’m concerned as to why you’re up so early. More so as to why you’re calling me of all people.“

He can practically hear her roll her eyes but he still smirks to himself, knowing she can’t contradict him or argue since he’s completely right with his claims. “Whatever. Remind me to never call you to congratulate you on a milestone again.“

Now that pokes at his attention with a stick. Lately, said attention has proven to be a hibernating bear, leaving Corpse with a lack of interest or motivation for anything but damn if that sentence wasn’t enough to roll him out of bed and hop on PC. “What? What milestone? Subscribers?“

“Nope! You got two million likes on ‘E-girls are ruining my life’! I can’t believe I have to tell you this! Didn’t you notice the numbers climbing?!“ Emma, as annoyed and sarcastic as she’s trying to sound, she’s obviously overjoyed on his behalf and is super proud of him and of the project she luckily agreed to take a small part in.

As his PC boots up, Corpse can’t help but roll his eyes at Emma’s comment, “Well unlike you I have better things to do than refresh a page over and over aga-” His sentence is quickly cut off when he sees the number of likes under the song for himself.

Knowing that he’d find it there didn’t change the feeling of seeing it for the first time at all. It’s so surreal and so hard for his mind to comprehend. Seeing as how little he thinks of himself, his content and his art, this is like his success coming to slap him across the face as if to punctuate to him how wrong that mindset is.

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you offered to take me out for at least a coffee to celebrate, bro.“ Emma comments sarcastically, joking only halfway from what he can sense.

He smirks, “Trying to even the playing field, I see.” He replies, referring to the fact that he’s still a faceless mystery to her while her face is literally the cover art for one of his songs.

She laughs but is quick to dismiss his claim, “Nah, I might be a curious and nosey little shit on other occasions, but other people’s privacy is not something I dig my nose into. However, if I were to even the playing field between us it wouldn’t be appearance-wise. More personality-wise. For my sake and yours I choose to believe you are way cooler in person than you are through messages or on a call.”

This withdraws a genuine fit of laughter from Corpse who throws his head back, a few strands of hair moving aside to reveal his shiny eyes, “Well then, instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, how about we settle it once and for all? Tomorrow? I’ll text you the location.”

Emma’s eyebrows shoot upwards as soon as she comprehends his words and the tone that leaves no room for her to assume he’s joking, “Wait what? How come you’re agreeing to this? And so easily? Nah, this a trap if I’ve ever seen it.”

Corpse laughs yet again, “No trap, Em. I just can’t have you doubting my coolness.”

                                                             *  *  *

The main reason as to why Corpse requested for this meeting to be today is because he feared that if he had more than twenty four hours to dwell on it he’d chicken out. Little did he know it was the same for Emma. Their friendship has only ever existed with the bridge of social media connecting them and they both can’t help but fear the other might not like who they are IRL. They fear they unintentionally become a different person or change things about themselves subconsciously when communicating with people online. Bottom line, they’re scared of letting the other person down with who they really are, unaware that their personalities are most likely the exact same because, as the people who know them can confirm, neither Corpse nor Emma are the type to put on a show in order to be liked. They would rather have no friends because of who they are than have friends and fans of their persona instead of the real them.

And so, while slightly afraid and anxious about this meeting, both of them see it as a relief test to see if the friendship is in fact as real as it’s seemed these past months.

Corpse was the one to choose the location of their meet-up, a location Emma didn’t even think twice about agreeing on, and ever since, they’ve both been counting the hours until their scheduled meeting time.  It’s not about impressing each other, at least that’s what they’re both telling themselves, but rather proving to the other that they’re worthy of their friendship. They might throw snarky and sarcastic comments at one another that others would give a side-eye glance to and question if their friendship is real, but they know the dynamic best and they sure as hell don’t wanna lose it or each other.

Best friends are the ones who roast each other after all - you can’t tell me I’m wrong.

The nervous Corpse fidgets with the insides of his hoodie pockets as he waits outside the café, having arrived ten minutes early because he couldn’t stand being alone with his thoughts in his apartment, judging every fragment of himself twice as harshly as usual. Emma, on the other hand, could barely bring herself to leave her home. She kept retouching her appearance, despite knowing Corpse wouldn’t judge her even if she showed up in pjs. To be fair she contemplated doing just that several times because her hair pissed her off enough to get her discouraged on her outfit altogether but she did eventually talk herself into pulling it together. She already knew she’d be at least five minutes late, but once again, she knew Corpse wouldn’t care.

He’d wait, cause that’s the kind of friend he was. Cause that’s the kind of friend she was for him too.

And boy did it take her less than a second to recognize him. She wasn’t even out of the car when she saw him and knew it was exactly who she was looking for. He too, as if with a sixth sense that registered her presence, shoots his head up from his phone to look up at her, their gazes meeting. There’s a brief moment of close-to-shocked silence, their eyes a bit widened as their brains comprehend that they’re within arm’s reach of one another.

That’s when Emma’s the first to break the bubble of awe as a wide grin spreads across her face and she runs to Corpse, wrapping him in a hug before he’s even realized the distance between the two’s been closed.

“Hey.“ She mumbles, her face hidden in his hoodie due to the height difference.

“H-hey.“ He replies, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her too.

“I was right.“ She says once she pulls away, “You are much cooler face-to-face.“ She pauses for a second, narrowing her eyes, “You’d be even cooler if you bought me coffee though.“

Earning a laugh from him, she’s guided into the café by the arm Corpse wraps around her shoulders, telling her he’s get her a milkshake cause he doesn’t want to see her high on caffeine. Needless to say, they both are, indeed, much cooler to one another IRL.

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[carmen-sandie-go]

Story as requested

SO This is a story about the time my mom almost took me out of school because a guy from my class made eye contact with her.

This is a long story so bear with me. Idk if i have already told this or not. Anyways we will need to meet come characters first and some context-

U - one of my friends from my class and the bitch who started the whole thing and didnt get wrapped in the drama what so ever N- Hate her also it genuinely surprises me that the people who have the most shit to say about me have a cgpa below 2.0 like bestie wtf up with this ? (kylies friend at the time) R - my idiot fucking then best friend from my neighbourhood A- a good guy friend. We went to the same French tuition. T- N's younger brother .... S- my senior Q- the guy in question who had no fucking relation with the whole drama

LETS START WITH THE STORY -

So basically me and U got selected to participate in this English play competition

S was also in the same play and me and him started to became friends, teasing, talking to each other

So in lunch period ( all the girls sit in a huge circle so that no ones left out or feel left out of the group because groupism is really exclusionary in my school)... SO basically U is like zoe he soo likes you. S soo likes you..

I was like nah. We just friends

Ok so basically N had the biggest crush on S so when she over heard this she came to me and said, " Stay. Away. From. Him"

Now i didnt want any drama so i was like sure girl i gottcha back. But i didnot know this was the start of a drama movie.

SO basically i was walking cum gossiping with my best friend and telling her what all happened in the school today and i saw N and her friends ( we live nearby ) and she goes " you have no clue how desperate she is for attention " Now i believe in being kind and all but aint no body shitting on me. Even god damned Jesus would hold my purse while I smack the shit out of her. SO anyways.. I went ahead and we had a heated discussion where i roasted her ass (shouldnt have in retrospect)

My bestie was like, "girl what that all about ?" Then I dramatically started to explain what was happened at school that day. And she was like how does he look ? I told her, "ngl he cute"

SO basically T over heard this and said, "bro he is our senior have some shame !" and then my friend tried to explain that he misunderstood but idk how much she could (lying hoe.)

Now I go to school to school and he (S) was waiting for me on the stair case and asked me, " did you tell everyone I am your boyfriend ?" And I was just like BOY which stupid ass dog bit you ? Why would I say that ?

And apparently they spread this rumour that i was a desperate and i said that i was dating S ..

In that day alone loads of guys asked me if I was actually dating him .. And all i could say was :/

Now in last period Q asked me if i was in a relationship. Now my friend A over heard this and thought that Q was dating me or asking me out or what ever that he understood..

Bottom line A knew there were rumours that I was dating some guy and he thought I was dating Q

Finals were really near ( like 3-4 days near) so I told my mom that I'll sit at home and study as nothing is happening in my school and also because I was tired of the rumours

SO she was like ok cool

I didnt go to my french tution that weekend as my french exam was the last exam and as I had maths next week.

So A thought my mom got to know about my relationship thats why she took me out of everything everyone knows how strict my family is

It had been a while and also i needed to clear a few doubts so i decided to go to school.

Now I come back from school and my moms like " is there something you want to tell me ?" lemme do it in a dialogue way -

Mom : Is there something you want to tell me ?

Me : nope . why ?

* hard slap *

Me : 👁👄👁

Apparently this idiot (A) had told maam that the reason i didnt attend class was because my mom took me out of everything after finding about my relationship

Even my teacher was concerned so she called home and said , "Let it be, she is young , she will make mistakes" and my mom had no clue wtf this was abt and so she got to know that i am dating Q and and thought thats why i didnt wanna go to school or tuitions (bestie i just needed to desperately revise maths and study other as i had left it for later and get out of the rumours )

Now I was although not allowed to watch tv or use mobile or laptop hell wasnt even talked to. I was allowed to give the exam.

Now I was a bit late for dispersal as I was discussing my answers with my teacher and she asked me why i didnt come to school for a few days..

My mom possibly made eye contact with Q during dispersal and She was convinced that i had broken up with Q and hence he was giving my mother the stink eye

WTF CANT PEOPLE STOP ASSUMING

This drama of me and S and Q (in my mothers, A and tuition teachers mind) did not die out for a yr.

Tagging : @ginasholtsoundboard@desi-dark-academia@drenched-in-ichor

[burnedbyshoto]

m a s t e r l i s t (n - z)

updated: 9/27/2020

▹ - sfw

▸ - nsfw

notes: this list is put in alphabetical order by last name and then from oldest to most recent fic. please do not judge any of the older pieces too harshly as they were pretty bad! as of january 2020, drabbles will no longer be added to masterlist.

this is the masterlist for characters with last names n - z

masterlist for characters with last names a - m

do not repost any of my fics without permission.

sero hanta

▸ pocky challenge — kinktober day 10 (scenario)

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▹ colors — you can see peoples colorful auras (scenario)

shigaraki tomura

▹ kitty cat — shigaraki is a cat hybrid with a rash (hc)

▸ ready player one — kinktober day 5 (scenario)

▸ ahegao face — his reaction to your ahegao face (drabble)

▸ power — you were known to bring powerful men to their knees (scenario)

shindou yo

▸ twice — kinktober day 30 (drabble)

shinsou hitoshi

▸ cat lingerie — shinsou catches you in cat shaped lingerie (hc)

▹ ignored — in which he doesn’t acknowledge you anymore (drabble)

▹ don’t do this — being a hero means making hard calls (drabble)

▹ blood — please don’t close your eyes (drabble)

▸ torture threesome — in which shinsou is your third with bakugou (drabble)

▹ soulmate shit — you two just can’t be seperated can you (drabble)

▸ fantasy — you’re hot and you flaunt it (drabble)

▹ heartbreak — shinsou’s hiding a secret from you (drabble)

▸ here, kitty, kitty — kinktober day 9 (scenario)

▸ trust — kinktober day 25 (scenario)

▸ dom!shinsou — what’s he into when he doms (hc)

▸ orgies — more todobakukiri now with shinsou action (hc)

▸ scarves — using a capturing weapon in bed is a thing (drabble)

▹ study dates — studying with shinsou is always a trip (drabble)

▹ distractions — you can never focus when you study with him (drabble)

▸ jealous — when men touch you, shinsou gets jealous (drabble)

▸ sensei — being a pro hero means having a will of steel, too bad for shinsou that will of steel has one major kryptonite: a schoolgirls skirt. (scenario)

takami keigo (hawks)

▸ situational — you two are stuck together and tension rises (drabble)

▹ phoenix — you have a quirk that gives you the hero name phoenix (hc)

▸ caught in the act — kinktober day 15 (scenario)

▸ heats — how takami is during his heats (drabble)

▸ his ahegao — you react to his ahegao face (hc)

▸ ahegao face — takami reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▸ overstimulation — how he overstimulates you (hc)

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▸ booty — slap his ass (drabble)

▸ dorm room — in which takami sneaks into your dorm room (drabble)

▹ asexual — he finds out you’re asexual (hc)

▸▹ dating — hc’s for dating takami (hc)

▹ because I love you — he broke up with you to save you, but he still wants you (scenario)

▹ frosting mishaps — baking with takami is disastrous as always (scenario)

▹ do you trust me — will you take the birds hand or die? (drabble)

takeyama yu (mt. lady)

▸ lingerie dreams — kinktober day 21 (scenario)

todoroki enji (endeavor)

▸ seven — rich and powerful men can marry seven different women in a wild attempt to produce the perfect heir. todoroki enji is one of these powerful men, and you’re his seventh bride. (scenario)

todoroki touya dabi

▹ stronger than you — dabi is a dad now and his son is just like him (scenario)

▸ dominate him — you’re a lady in the sheets and a freak in the sheets (hc)

▸ werewolf lover — they’re horny and you’re asexual (hc)

▹ stay in bed — dabi doesn’t want to let you go in the morning (drabble)

▹ wedding date — youre desperate for a date, and dabi wants a kiss (drabble)

▸ louder — make dabi a subby bitch (hc)

▹ 2 am call — you need dabi at two in the morning (drabble)

▹ laughter — dabi’s laugh is not cute but thats okay (drabble)

▸ scream my name — dabi won’t stop until you’re screaming (drabble)

▸ add another — how many fingers will fit in you (drabble)

▸ blindfolds — with no sight you sit and wait (drabble)

▹ glass doors — you run into a glass door (drabble)

▸ no boundaries — dabi will fuck you anywhere no matter the mood (drabble)

▹ you missed — getting stuck in a closet is always weird (drabble)

▸ 4 times dabi wanted you; 1 time he got you — kinktober day 1 (scenario)

▸ piercings — what piercings does he have? (hc)

▸ ahegao face — dabi reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▸ size — dabi with a size kink (hc)

▹ happy birthday — sometimes dabi just needs a hug (drabble)

todoroki natsuo

▹ todoroki-sensei — todoroki natsuo is an esteemed trauma surgeon, and you’re the volunteer that won’t leave his mind (scenario)

▸ study breaks — natsuo needs a break and you’ll give him one (drabble)

▸ mamihlapinatapai — mamihlapinatapai: the wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. (scenario)

todoroki shouto

▹ strawberry milk and watermelon seeds — first piece on tumblr (scenario)

▹ childhood lover — going from childhood friends to lovers (hc)

▹ seven days late -  part two— shouto leaves for seven days and has nothing to say for it (scenario) 

▹ sleeping — how the two of you sleep together (hc)

▹ not ready — shouto reveals the horrors of his childhood (scenario)

▹ welcome home: the series — part one  part two  part three  part four  part five the adventures of your family with shouto and your baby, kaito. (scenarios)

▹ captured — in which youre captured by villains and chaos starts (hc)

▸ and they were roommates: the series — part one  part two  part three modern!au. there are many issues when getting a new roommate. you just never expected your issue would be fucking your hot roommate every chance you had (scenario)

▹ i love you? — shouto realizes he’s in love with you and needs help (hc)

▹ lip synch queen — you enjoy lip synching songs to shouto (hc)

▹ I think I’m pregnant — you believe you’re pregnant with your ex’s baby (hc)

▹ meeting the todorokis — shouto introduces you to his family finally (scenario)

▹ concerts and songs — shouto takes you on a date to a concert (scenario)

▹ staying home — you like to stay home and thats okay (scenario)

▸ I hate you - part two — shouto is a villain and you’re the one he’s after (scenario)

▹ gone for too long — long distance relationships suck sometimes (scenario)

▹ hollow — youre an assassian; shouto is your target (hc)

▸ dominate him — you’re a lady in the sheets and a freak in the sheets (hc)

▸ my girl — jealous lovers and work don’t mix (scenario) part two

▹ drinks — shouto is upset and you are on the receiving end (drabble)

▹ confessions — you’re dying and you have to confess (drabble)

▹ come back — shouto doesn’t want to leave the bed (drabble)

▸ fuckboy — in which shouto is a fuckboy and you’re his target (drabble)

▹ dumbass — you threaten shouto with a good time (drabble)

▹ you never came — shouto never shows up to a date (drabble)

▹ apologies — shouto apologizes for being mean (drabble)

▹ hold me — shouto’s quirks come in handy to keep warm or cold (drabble)

▹ what’s happening — shouto bangs his head really hard (drabble)

▸ broken hopes — makeup sex is bittersweet (drabble)

▸ dirty talk — you help shouto improve his dirty talk (drabble)

▸ spring showers — bodies slick with rain, lips dancing with passion (oneshot)

▹ sickness and affliction — shouto burns you (scenario)         part two  alt ending  actual fluff ending

▹ believe in me — all you want is for shouto to believe in you the same way he believes in momo (scenario)

▸ body swap — you trade bodies with shouto, hormones ensue (drabble)

▸ shut up — shouto fucks you on the common room couch (drabble)

▹ tsundere — you’re a bit of a tsundere (hc)

▹ done — theres always bitterness in cheating (drabble)

▹ my heart — shouto is a fighter and youre the girl who cant watch him dance with death anymore (drabble)

▸ like ice — you’re as cold as ice and shouto has to warm you up ;) (scenario)

▹ cupcakes — you make cupcakes with shouto (hc)

▹ gone — youre gone and shouto is not okay (drabble)

▹ drinking — you get drunk with shouto (hc)

▹ phoenix — you have a quirk that gives you the hero name phoenix (hc)

▸ awaken — kinktober day 4 (scenario)

▹ faint — you wont let shouto die, not now (drabble)

▹ trust me — kissing a pretty girl is always a good distraction (drabble)

▸ orders — shouto orders you to touch yourself (drabble)

▹ ships — you make a cardboard ship with shouto (drabble)

▹ because of you — shouto gives a lovely speech about you (scenario)

▸ attraction — kinktober day 27 (scenario)

▸ sugar daddy — shouto as your sugar daddy (hc)

▹ of love and flowers — you’re in love with shouto, but is it a tragedy? (scenario)

▸ usagi and hito — kinktober day 31 (scenario)

▸ foursome — todobakukiri foursome (hc)

▸ sub — how he is as a sub (hc)

▸ ahegao face — how he reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▸ orgies — more todobakukiri now with shinsou action (hc)

▹ happiness: the series — soulmates have the name of their other half inked on their wrists on the youngest eighteenth birthday, but why is yours rejecting you?            happiness part one  bravado part two  amelioration part three

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▹ marshmallow kisses — roasting marshmallows with shouto (scenario)

▹ fools — shouto is in love with you, but no one wants to confess (scenario)

▸ bathtub memories — you masturbate to an old memory (scenario)

▸ under the mistletoe — the mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. too bad shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.

▹ distractions — you can never focus when you study with him (drabble)

▹ tortillas — you use shouto to make tortillas (drabble)

▹ writers block — you have writers block and shouto comforts you (scenario)

▹ replacement — momo dies and you and shouto try healing together (scenario)             renewed part two

▹ love letters — shouto writes a letter for every day the two of you are together (scenario)

▹ fifteen kisses — fourteen different kisses you give shouto; the one different kiss he gives you (scenario)

▹ exchange — shouto would do anything for you, even dying for you (drabble)

▸ desperate — shouto takes teasing to the extreme (drabble)

▹ too late — shoutos realization is too late (drabble)

▸ please leave — you wake up to see pro heroes shouto and ground zero naked in your bedroom (drabble)

▸ house sitting & concupcience — in which Endeavor asks Shouto for a favor, and Shouto decides to take his payment by fucking you on his bed. 

▸ winner takes it all — shouto wins a contest where the grand prize is getting to have you sit on his face.

▹ memories — shouto loses his memories, and you can’t do anything but watch as your world falls apart.

▸ wall fucks — shouto fucks you against a wall in endeavors agency.

▸ seven minutes — shouto signs up to have anonymous sex; you’re the lucky bitch who gets him. 

▹ a brush of luck — in a world where soulmates exist you can communicate yours with a brush of a pen. It just doesn’t help that you are a certified idiot with a skill in misplacing things. 

▸ forehead fantasies — you can’t help but fantasize on your boyfriend’s forehead that always remains hidden.  

▹ pay attention to me — you want shouto’s attention, but he’s a bit too occupied with trivial things. 

▹ shallow or deep — “why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. it was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn’t good enough for you?

▹ model-worthy — sleepy mornings in with shouto.

▸ deception — “don’t you see what he’s doing to you?! he’s hurt you way more than what’s acceptable in a sparring march! you’re bruised and hurting, and he sure as hell doesn’t seem to care that this is the state he’s left you in.” — or in which, hawks manipulates how you view your boyfriend, shouto.

▸ aphrodite — “aphrodite is just a stage name, but the persona is still you. you might be a total dork, but the person you think you present has always been apart of you.” — or, in which pro hero shouto falls in love with a dominatrix cam girl, only to find out that she’s quite a weirdo in real life.

▹ eternal love — a simple love story between a tattoo artist and a flower shop owner.

▸ taoreta — the world is in ruins, but there’s beauty in everything. shouto is reminded of that when he crosses paths with a survivor who kisses him at the first meeting. 

▹ strawberry milk and strawberry milk (rewritten) — how to get through the worst summer heat: have a sweet drink, eat sweet fruit, and have someone with the sweetest kiss around.

▹ before you go — before you go, tell me this meant something to you.

▸ hole in the wall — in a party for the ages, Shouto comes across a room with holes in the wall that has him coming back for more. 

togata mirio

▸ teasing — touching yourself means teasing mirio (drabble)

▹ dead — you died and now mirio can’t live (drabble)

▸ until the last one comes — kinktober day 7 (scenario)

▸ ahegao face — how he reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▹ sunflower — mirio tries figuring out a nickname for you (oneshot)

▸ the big three — they want you (hc)

▹ asexual — he finds out you’re asexual (hc)

▸ itadakimasu — mirio always says one thing before eating, yes that includes you (drabble)

▸ doggy style — mirio fucks you good (hc)

▹ christmas morning — mirio gives you a wonderful christmas morning (scenario)

▸ unbreakable — mirios afraid to hurt you, but you want more (drabble)

▹ soulmates — soulmates don’t exist, but mirio thinks youre his (drabble)

toyomitsu taishiro (fatgum)

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▹ mornings after — taishiro always knows how to make mornings the best

uraraka ochako

▸▹ villain uraraka hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc) 

usagiyama rumi

▹ that final phone call — miruko is one tough rabbit, but eventually even the toughest of people need a helping hand. (scenario)

utsushimi camie

▹ home for the holidays — camie meets your family (scenario)

yagi toshinori (all might)

▹ years — youre sir’s sister who was in love with all might for years (drabble)

yamada hizashi

▹ back off — even aizawa is prone to jealousy (scenario)

▹ ice skating — you go on an ice skating date with hizashi (scenario)

▹ swimsuit tops — losing your bikini top is never a good memory (scenario)

▹ sweater — you lost you sweater, you wonders who has it (drabble)

▹ laughter — hizashi has never heard you laugh before (drabble)

▹ under the mistletoe — holidays are for lovers, and you’re married (scenario)

▸ sexy times — just some headcanons (hc)

yaoyorozu momo

▸ never have I ever — kinktober day 11 (scenario)

yoarashi inasa

▹ passion, passion, and more passion — childhood friends to lovers (hc)

▸ too hot — you play a game where you’re only allowed to kiss (drabble)

▹ laughter — inasa’s laughter is loud and contagious and you love it (drabble)

▸ sensitive — inasa exploits your sensitive nipples (drabble)

▹ pounce! — inasa jumps on you (drabble)

▹ stay warm — please don’t pass out, please don’t... (drabble)

▸ fantasy — you make his wildest dream come true (drabble)

▸ bday fun — you let inasa have fun on his birthday (drabble)

▸ high sex — high sex with inasa includes (hc)

[ohtobeaspettyasleah]

how long does it take for Lorelei and Gray to meet? And how did he react when Ethan told him about the new assistant situation? :)

Grayson’s Phone rang out on the living room table as he helped Lisa move her vanity around upstairs, missing the facetime call Ethan was begging he’d answer. “Shit” was all he said when the called died out. No answer. Ethan placed his phone back into his back pocket-- trying to figure out how exactly he was gonna word this to stop his brother from going off the deep end at him. His phone pinging not too long after, not Grayson, but Lorelei. 

Lorelei Figgs: You never mentioned a time for tomorrow so is it okay if I come over around 9? I can come anytime! Just seemed like a good time.”

Ethan Dolan: fuck sorry, yeah come round at 9. Trying to call Gray now and tell him what’s up.

Lorelei sat in her bed up against her headboard. Her pillows shoved down behind her back, oxygen being blown into her lungs generously as she typed away on her laptop. The one Ethan had given her. Setting up her google docs and organising personal information she sometimes forgot. If Lorelei wasn’t a highly functioning over analyser, she never would’ve seconds guessed Ethans tone. She always did that, tried to read her text as if someone was speaking to her in person. 

Lorelei Figgs: Does he not know? 

Ethan Dolan: Not exactly, but we’re good. Trust the process Lore. ill see you tomorrow.

Ethan had always been a firm believer in manifesting possibilities, goals and overall events you wanted to see play out in life. But unfortunately, he hadn’t even had a chance to think about manifesting the idea Grayson would loose his absolute shit when the time came for the boot to drop. It was time: his phone was ringing. Facetime call from Gray. 

“Yo bro, I was helping ma with her vanity what’s up?” Grayson looked rough. His facial hair had grown rugged. Not kept. The blue flannel was probably a mere three seconds away from falling off his back-- having not changed properly in days. Sure, he showered and changed his underwear-- but that was about the extent of it. His hair was greasy, slicked. Ethan could clearly see the shin. 

“Don’t get pissed.”

“What did you go? Ethan--”

“Nothing! Nothing just-- well, I hired that girl, the friend of Adele’s? She starts tomorrow and--” 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ETHAN!!” Grayson screamed with a groan so guttural it made Ethan kinda flinch. “We’re a fucking TEAM!”

“Well, okay look it was cute and needed when you left but it’s kinda hard to make team decisions when you’re not fucking here bro, ever think of that?” Ethan retaliated with a sigh. “Just meet her bro.” 

“Why the fuck would you do that without me bro, Jesus, that’s it, I’m coming home.” Ethan tried to hide his smile. Deep down he’d missed Grayson although he’d try twist reality to suit the ideology that it was Grayson who missed him. 

“I’ll book you a flight. When for?” 

“We have a fucking assistant for that shit Ethan get what’s her name to do it!! The next one out, text me later I’m gonna pack my fucking bags.” when Grayson hung up Ethan could tell he was in fact-- Pissed. But as his smile grew with the idea of his brother coming home he knew the anger would fade. All he had to do was meet Lorelei. 

Grayson kept his rage built up within him the entire trip home, including in the car ride back from LAX to home. Ethan coped an ear full the entire ride home, good thing he didn’t have to drive-- forever thankful for the technology of autopilot. He swore with the way Grayson was bitching in his ear about being left out of important decisions like hiring a new assistant, Ethan would’ve driven straight into a wall if he had control. 

“Is she at ours?” Grayson hissed. 

“With Mando yeah, she’s working, Mando was going through the DT productions laptop with her, Sharing the docs with her email-- you know shit I should be doing but I had to come pick your bitch ass up.”

“Wouldn’t be back if you hadn’t hired a new assistant without me--” Grayson grumbled. 

“Good well, she’s already doing a great fucking job isn’t she because she got nature-loving tree kissing wild boy back to L.A.” Grayson glared-- furious. 

“She’s fired the moment I walk in the door bro-- you don’t get to make these decisions without me!!” 

“Grayson you cant fire her I fucking hired her yesterday! We need an assistant.”

“Yeah well we’ll figure it out together but this ones on you-- fire her, refire someone else together! Because this is always- always something we do together Ethan, no ifs or buts and the idea you just couldn’t pick up the fucking phone and ask me beforehand is infuriating!!” it was one of the top ten heated arguments Ethan and Grayson had ever had in the Tesla. Not the car-- just the Tesla. Different top tens. 

“I didn’t want to bother you, bro! Fuck! I needed you here but you needed jersey a little more and I didn’t wanna bother you with work. We were on a break, relaxing.”

“Well look what good that did! I’m here! I’m back! I’m the bad guy because I gotta fix your mess--!”

“WHAT MESS!”

“WHATEVER HER NAME IS!” 

Ethan didn’t respond. deciding to give up and give in. his head hurt from the shouting. He had a feeling, deep down, that Grayson would calm down. He always calmed down-- he was angry, hurt even, that Ethan had left him out of such an important decision, but he’d get over it. And he did. Very quickly. The second he saw Lorelei.

Ethan delta quick change in atmospheric pressure as she walked in behind Grayson-- now standing still at the door. Swallowing thick as he stared. He hated that he was this way around girls he thought were pretty. But he couldn’t help it. 

“Lori, Grayson, Gray? This is Lori--”

“Grayson, its actually so good to meet you! I was pretty bumbed out when Ethan said you were still in Jersey when i came over for my interview thingo-- but hey.” She stood, lifting her arm and extending her hand to shake his. Grayson mimicked her actions. 

“Lori, its uh, yeah no its good to meet you too, thanks for uh-- coming on board so quick, we can get a little stressed out when someone isn’t here to deal with, with like meetings and schedules and shit like that.” Ethan couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath as he watched Grayson stagger over his words. Night and day from the man who sat brooding in his passanger seat. 

“Well like i was saying to Ethan yesterday i might not have too much experience but im pretty stoked with the opportunity.” it washer eyes that had him right from the get go. Eyes that swirled in different shades or brown-- melting together to create a perfect deep brown that made them seem doe like. Beautiful. 

“Experience can only be taught, everyone’s gotta stare somewhere right.” Grayson smiled. Lorelei chuckled. Mando side eyed Ethan and Ethan almost wheezed. 

“Alright alright, Gray go shower and fucking shave, Lor imma show you how to set up in the podcast room works.” 

“Cool, i’m keen, ill move my stuff down there then, brought a note book to write stuff down.” she pressed her lips together nervously Grayson watched as her hand patted the hard cover diary that she held before watching her pick up her coffee cup. Mando had already beaten both Ethan and Grayson to showing Lori how the coffee machine worked. Knowing that when everyone was working? Sometimes no one had a chance to even make it. Grayson stood still and sighed, knowing the roast was coming. 

“Dude--”

“Don’t even start E--”

“I’m sweating, your so awkward bro, what the fuck was that!” Ethan laughed as he covered his mouth. His cheeks red. “Bro--”

“She, her eyes got me shut up, i couldn’t think”

“So she isn’t fired? Just so we’re clear on this decision together? Not fired?” Mando furrowed his brows, wondering what type of question that was as Grayson trudged down the hall with his bag. Groaning: 

“This cannot be happening”

[smndragon]

Hello, I know I haven’t been following your account for too long but you’re one of my fave accounts. You really put a lot of effort and offer your resources/knowledge/time without hesitation which I feel often times other creators don’t really have the opportunity to do. Thank you for your dedication because I’ve found your posts really insightful and they’ve been really helpful in expanding my knowledge <3

I also wanted to ask if you were offering readings atm because I was really interested in receiving one from you! If not, it’s okay! <33

[ Big Six :

Sagittarius ↑, Scorpio ☀︎, Leo ☽

Virgo Venus , Capricorn Mars, Sagittarius Mercury ]

I hope you’ve been doing well and I hope both sides of your pillow is cold !!! <3

Also, Idk if you watch anime but if you could recommend one one of your faves I’d really appreciate it! :,))

If you don’t mind me asking, I was wondering how many years you’ve been studying Astro considering the amount of knowledge you have. I’ve been dabbling myself but I find it intimidating. ESP when it comes to the complexity of birth charts because of all the different variables you need to consider.

Thank you for taking your time to read my ask! I really appreciate your consideration!! <3

You had me over here looking up "what does atm mean in text" like a grandma on Google 😭😭 I really couldn't figure that out I thought of the money atm. Thank you for saying all this though! I do try to take time even if my fingers have to hurt for it. I'm glad you're learning a bit from them or opening your mind to it! Glad to be one of your favs!

An anime recommendation is probably sword art online. It's a basic but I really like it I've watched all the seasons at least 5 or 4 times. Either that or possibly is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon I think it was called. I haven't watched anime in a while to be honest. Learning wise and growth I believe movies like Mirai and flavours of youth on Netflix are very sentimental and leave you touched.

I've been studying only since early 2021 really maybe mid? I started by Tumblr actually, I got the app because I wanted to read more fanfic sites and explore more and I got into more astrology here. I already was interested before then for years but I never actually looked so far into it until then. I actually only learned by readings posts every day I would look up "astro observations" and just read for as long as I could. I took a few people's charts that are long dead by now to compare and analyze since I liked them so much. I learned everything here and still am. I actually recently got back into the astrology side, I took a break to read more into other things. The rest I get are based on feelings and easy searching, I'm sorry I can't really explain it too well. Most of the stuff I learned was from @d4rkpluto @saintzjenx @hillarysss and @ilyneptune I believe is somewhere there either that or it was for pile readings which they have really good ones!

It's like 5:36 in the morning I haven't slept at all but I feel great so let's do your reading! Hm, Scorpio sun, Leo moon, and Sagittarius ascendant. We have the same ascendant which makes me happy! I didn't save so a part got deleted but I saw a girl with lilies on her head immediately, like a sort of crown. It reminded me of Hans Christian Andersen because he once made a flower crown and placed it on someone's hat making them mad after finally finding it💀 this girl reminds me of a time that seems so long ago now. She smiles at nothing and laughs at air, as if she sees things no else had dared speak to. Children are walkways wonderful because they have these gifts, to see things we cant. Possibly 'imaginary' friend when you were younger, or you spent time just pleasing yourself easily.

The first sign that talks to me is the Leo moon, the Scorpio wanted to speak but the Leo was very loud. It feels so touch starved to me which ain't bad but lord both it and the Scorpio sun are. Possible manifestation abilities. They aren't strong but you're able to do it anyone is, whatever you want in life must be looked brightly at, it's okay to have dark days but return that dream and wanting image to your sun and it will become as close as true as out world allows it. The flower crown I saw makes me think there's an Innocence and purity in you that still stand today, never changing. The flowers are the manifestation of this Innocence and this need to be that ways somewhere in you. Possibly fear of expectation and somehow losing that part of you to something in the future. You shouldn't be afraid of what happens, things will change sadly, we can never change that and as people we have to accept it even if it gets dark. Unless this will deeply harm you it's time to let go. Tell that younger you or someone that they cna be free, to be a with all the friends they were with when they were younger. Ik that wasn't a full reading but that's what I got from either your Leo or Scorpio. The Leo wants your joy to be brought back, but not in the form of the fear of losing something. "I'm here" "it's okay" they held you at your darkest moments and will continue to do so. I feel they'll be there especially when you're older, telling you it's alright to let go of the life you once had. (Dark theme sorry but it is what happens to us all in the end) their home is in you, every part I see, the physical body comes out when you need her, a dirty blonde with a white plain shoulder and neck showing shirt, with a plain but modern skirt thin material. They have brown eyes, the eyes of a mother really, with a broad and flattens at the nose. A few dots on the sides of their eyes or face. Aura color is a wheat yellow.

The Scorpio sun is very wanting, jealous of being ignored at times. It wants some things so wholly it hurts. The domain of the Scorpio is a dark and warm place, sweat falls down my forehead as if I'm being boiled to a roast. I want to hold the Scorpio sun, it feels ignored by people. Scorpios are every sympathetic people deep down, they crave affection and reassurance, when not given they cna form unhealthy habits. Not to say you're suffering from this too harshly it's just your Scorpio needs to be cared for at some point, drink a cup of tea or something soothing, talk to your Scorpio and let it talk back, in the deepest parts of your mind they are there always and forever, waiting to recover with your strength and company. Aura is brown and radiant black splotches here and there. Possible placements are the neck, or left shoulder. Body is in the form of a bulked Scorpion, brown shelled. You may possibly have longer nails or well shaped ones. Been complimented on your hands or had them called small which was annoying maybe.

The last of the signs is the Sagittarius ascendant. It take the form of a human, has a long tail though, reptile like. It adores the space you allow it. It roams the chest area, pillows and blankets cover the room. The Sagittarius isn't lazy, it's just overworked they don important things for the body, they care for your muscles and heart. Making sure it has steady beats. They keep you as active as you could be. Enough to keep you healthy. The room is plain with white walls and tan yellow carpet. The Sagittarius takes chalk and writes on the walls "plans" "action" weird words to put down but they keep writing, I also them what they're doing but don't really get a reply. Nothing left here.

Characteristics: small hands well shaped nails, brown hair?, Style is kind of alt if or neutral. Hoodies, jeans, skirts occasionally, the not too extreme chokers, bracelets, slight makeup or none. Because of the Sagittarius I would like to say tall and slim, but I have that and I sure am not those💀 possibly could still work though. I think short though honestly. Sneakers. Binders and folders in school or home. Filled with ideas and things. Brown or green eyes.

Soulmate/ future relationship: (it in one now ignore or keep reading) I see you both planning stories and all kind soft things, laying down pointing to journals and books of your things. You guys don't laugh often but you do show affection in smiles, kisses, hugs, and closeness. I feel they won't fully kiss you until you age to grab their face or after the 11th date🙃

Possible zodiac influence in your life around you: Scorpio Mars, Gemini Venus, Libra

Future/health: nothing much here possible accidents involving phones be careful and lay attention, may crack or break it soon.

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV: A Moment of Ordinary

Wolmeric Week #3: Casual/Modern

A/N: Uh. I worldbuilt again. Oops. But hey, the shippy stuff is still there! Just, uh, took a bit to get to, this time. XD

Day 1 || Day 2 || Day 3 || Day 4 || Day 5 || Day 6 || Day 7 || Bonus!

RATING: T WORD COUNT: 2353 WARNINGS: None! Cross-posted to AO3

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“One hundred forty gil.”

“Fifty gil.”

“Fifty? That’s obscene, these artichokes are the first of the harvest! One thirty!”

“Don’t you dare pull that shite with me, Arenlona, I know for a fact the Bismarck has first purchase rights on the first harvest of damn near everything the Stead grows. Sixty.”

The first market day of spring at Red Rooster Stead was always a boisterous affair: makeshift stalls lined most of the paths through the main compound and spilled out beyond the walls, manned by botanists and farmers selling a wide variety of produce and other goods. Spring asparagus and lettuce and broccoli and parsnips; oranges from the vast Cedarwood orchards; pineapples and kiwi from the Stead’s offshoot plantation in Raincatcher Gully; honey and beeswax; mutton and pork and buffalo in various cuts; even fish, fresh caught that morning. There were food stalls selling bread and fruit juices and roasted meats and vegetables to the hungry shoppers; even stalls where the Stead residents and other local farmers were selling yarn and knit garments, assorted leathers goods, embroidery, bead and shell jewelry, whittled decorations. A pop-up smithy was at the edge of the makeshift market repairing farming and gardening tools.

The press of people along the Stead’s paths was enormous; most were either other farmers or home owners from around Lower La Noscea, or the residents of Mist come to do their weekly shopping without having to trek to Limsa Lominsa. Some Lominsans, too, came here; Synnove had seen Melkoko haggling over buffalo tenderloin, two of her sister Sirens dutifully carrying the crates of vegetables she had purchased earlier, and a trio of baby arcanists sharing a bag of roasted walnuts who had excitedly waved to her.

Aymeric was…somewhere, in the scrum. They’d gone in different directions to get as much shopping done as possible before the crowds swelled to suffocatingly large at noon.

Synnove finally wound down her own haggling—one hundred gil for a small crate of artichokes, plus another hundred or so spent on fennel and rutabagas—and waved to Arenlona as she joined the throngs walking through the Stead. Ivar and Galette trotted over from the nearby snack stall, and she bent down to accept the gil-pouch from Ivar. Thankfully, carbuncles who understood exchanging gil for goods and services were a familiar sight to the Stead’s farmhands, so that was one less thing to worry about on market day.

“Do you know where your sibs and Aymeric went?” she said as she stuffed the pouch in her pocket and stood upright, carefully balancing the crates of vegetables in her arms. The carbuncles had all gone with Aymeric, at first, before her emerald and ruby came meandering along to find both her and a treat.

The girls wanted to see the sheep, Ivar chittered. He managed to get his matching harmonic to sound bland.

Galette giggled.

Synnove groaned. “Oh, no.”

Galette giggled again, and Ivar joined her.

Sighing, she strode briskly through the crowd, her carbuncles on her heels, until she’d left the main compound and the crush of people wasn’t quite so great. She headed first for the hitches where many of the visitors had left their chocobos, herself included. Trifle eyed her when she approached, but the draught chocobo knelt without prompting, and Synnove quickly stored the purchases away in her saddlebags and panniers, idly noting Aymeric must have been by at some point at seeing a few crates of fruits, two jars of honey, and a carefully wrapped package upon which an ice crystal sat that was likely either meat or fish.

Once she was finished, she gave Trifle a pat on the neck, and the chocobo loomed upright once more, shaking her feathers back into place. Synnove glanced down at the carbuncles, but before she could say anything, both Galette and Ivar did that pre-jump wiggle of their tails and then leaped into the air and onto the draught chocobo’s saddle. Trifle warked, unimpressed, and turned her head around to give the pair a gimlet stare. Galette reached up and gently patted her beak with a paw.

Synnove laughed. “Well, I suppose that answers my question if you wanted to see the sheep, too.”

The siblings chirruped at her and loafed onto the saddle, ears flicking, while Trifle huffed and resettled herself. With another laugh and a scritch for each of them, Synnove headed in the direction of the sheep pens.

Most of the flocks in La Noscea grazed the pastures north of Cedarwood and up to the southern shores of Bronze Lake; the Red Rooster shepherds only kept a small flock at the Stead, primarily to make crossbreeding for specific traits easier to track before introducing those traits more widely into the larger flocks. But the flock at the Stead was wildly popular with many of the local children (and no few adults), and the shepherds usually allowed visitors to pet or brush some of the calmer ewes…in exchange for educational lectures on animal husbandry or the La Noscean wool industry.

Synnove smiled ruefully as she trudged up the short hill to where the sheep were kept. There was already a small crowd of excited children pressed up against the fencing, some parents standing aside and talking amongst themselves while keep an eye on their charges. Now, where was—ahah!

She slowed down, hooking her thumbs into her belts as she strolled closer.

Aymeric wore a soft cotton shirt of deep blue with black wool breeches tucked into knee-high leather boots; with neither Naegling on his hip nor a bow slung on his shoulder, he looked like just another farmer or homesteader gazing out across the pen. Something about seeing him dressed down always left her fond and pleased. Perhaps it was the way the tension bled out of him, the way it only rarely did in Ishgard when he needed to be on alert for a sudden emergency requiring either the Lord Commander or the Lord Speaker. His shoulders loosened and his spine was no longer quite so rigid, an aura of content softness draping around him instead.

He turned as she came up next to him, and he grinned, bright and happy, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Synnove smiled back, helpless to do anything except push herself to her toes to kiss his cheek and bask in his presence.

“Hello, dearheart,” she said as she dropped back to her feet, leaning into his side when his raised his arm to make room for her. She slid her own arm around his waist as his settled on her shoulders. “Did you manage to keep from raising Chartain’s blood pressure today?”

Aymeric kissed the top of her head and nuzzled against her hair before he responded. “It’s too easy to rile that man up,” he said, mischief coloring his voice. “He takes the barely-existing rivalry between La Noscea and Coerthas shepherds far too seriously.”

“Oh, don’t be mean!” Synnove swatted at his chest, but Aymeric merely caught her hand and raised it to his lips to kiss her knuckles. She firmed her expression, refusing to let his affection distract her, tempting as it was.

“Mean would be managing to get Estinien to stay in place long enough to drop him on Chartain’s doorstep and watch the two get into a row about wool quality,” he said primly, then pressed another kiss to her knuckles at her reluctant laugh. “And for the record, no, I did not. I believe one of the other shepherds saw me on the way with the girls and wrangled him away elsewhere.”

She laughed louder, shaking her head, and finally glanced out at the pen properly.

Tyr was in a staring contest with one of the rams, ears canted at the ninety-degree angle that for him generally conveyed his lack of impressment. The ram trotted in place, snorting and acting like he would charge at any moment, but sitting upright as he was, Tyr had to look down at him. The ram was intelligent enough to realize that Tyr likely belonged in the “thing that herds me” category rather than the “thing that will steal my ladies from me” or “thing that will eat me” categories, but not quite enough to know he should back down before Tyr bowled him over.

And the twins were being themselves, and bouncing atop the thick wooly backs of the ewes, leaping from sheep to sheep and giggling while the onlooking children cheered them on. Roksana especially was making a game of it, deliberately aiming for targets a distance away to make a challenge for herself, while Amandina was more sedately hopping along with no discernible pattern but rather the fun of it. The shepherd on watch was keeping an eye on them, but was leaning up against the fence without worry; the girls being silly was a common enough sight to most resident of Lower La Noscea.

Synnove watched them fondly for a moment, before she finally called out, “Girls! Tyr! Time to head home!”

The girls and the watching children all went awwww, but Amandina and Roksana obediently changed course and hopped from the other side of the paddock to where their mama and papa stood. Tyr, meanwhile, reached out with a paw and bopped the ram right between the ears; the ram’s eyes crossed and he bleated unhappily, but the distraction was enough for her big topaz carbuncle to leave without incident, trotting towards the fence and leaping over it easily to sit at her feet and headbutt her stomach.

Hi, Mama, Tyr chittered happily.

“Hello, boyo,” she said, freeing her hand from Aymeric—he made sad eyes at her, which she ignored for now—to reach down and scritch behind his ears.

The twins, meanwhile, finally made it to the fence, and leaped from there onto her shoulder (Amandina) and head (Roksana).

Hi Mommy hi Mommy hi Mommy hi Mommy hi Mommy, the girls chorused excitedly, as if they hadn’t seen her in days rather than a bell or two.

“Hello, kiddos,” Synnove said, patting first one twin and then the other. “Have you been good?”

YEAH!

We helped Papa get oranges!

And pears!

And FISH! Yummy yummy fish!

Honey, too, Tyr added helpfully, ears twitching in delight. Can we bake honey spice bread with it?

“That sounds like a fine idea,” Synnove said, to triple cheers.

Aymeric chuckled, though she felt it more than heard it with how closely they were still pressed together. “They helped me pick out a little gift for you, too,” he said brightly.

The only reason she didn’t whip her head up to stare at him was because of Roksana hopping up and down on her hair. Instead, she carefully picked up both twins and set them on Tyr’s back as the topaz carbuncle stood upright on all fours; then she whipped her head around to stare at her beloved. “Aymeric, you didn’t have to—”

“But I wanted to,” he said softly, smiling at her. He leaned down to kiss her nose. “And I like to.”

With a flourish, he presented her with a small leather pouch he pulled from his belt. She sighed, only a little exasperated, but held out her hand obediently, and into her palm he poured a pair of earrings: a gold ring suspended from simple hooks, and from the rings hung gold chain links of varying lengths with pink and cowries dangling at the ends.

Synnove couldn’t help the awed ooooooh that escaped her. “Oh, they’re lovely! Thank you!” She hadn’t put in any earrings this morning before they’d left for the market, so she reached up to hook them into her left, then her right.

Aymeric absolutely did not play fair in any aspect of his life: love, war, and gift-giving. Earrings were her favorite type of jewelry, and she had bought herself more than one pair from the jewelry stall here in the market before. She shook her head, both in defeat and to hear the pretty clinking of the shells against each other, and beamed up at her knight. “Thank you,” she said again.

“You are, as always, most welcome,” he said warmly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “My beautiful Synnove.”

Warmth suffused her and a blush bloomed on her cheeks and she beamed even more; she loved his endearments for her, but she loved best how her name rolled of his tongue, how much affection with which he infused it. She took a long moment to revel in all the joy he brought her before she quietly sighed. “Let’s go home, hm?”

“Mmm,” Aymeric hummed with one last nuzzle, before they began walking arm in arm down the hill and towards the chocobo hitch. Tyr followed, his baby sisters looking around excitedly from his back. “We have some honey spice spread to make.”

“And artichoke dip,” Synnove added.

Tyr boofed excitedly. You bought artichokes?! He pushed his head against her knees, shoving, and pulling a surprised yelp from her as she stumbled momentarily, kept upright only by an also laughing Aymeric. He ran in front of them, boofing happily, Come on come on let’s go home already! before he raced on ahead.

An absolutely wicked thought came to mind, sending a bolt of heat through her that settled low in her belly, and Synnove decided to indulge it. She glanced around, noting no one was nearby, and so, as she walked, she leaned up to murmur in Aymeric’s ear while a sly grin pulled at her lips, “And then after lunch, we can send the carbuncles down to the beach, and I can wear absolutely nothing but these earrings.”

Aymeric’s eyes went wide, pupils dilating to swallow up the beautiful icy blue as he nearly stumbled himself now. He stared at her askance—and then hot, feral greed briefly overtook his expression and he swept her up into his arms, to her shrieking laugh of surprise.

“No time to waste, then,” he playfully growled as he picked up his pace to a light jog, and Synnove ending up laughing nearly the whole way home.

[shiftynightshade]

[Chat: The Jedi Orders Problem Children: Has Been Opened!]

 Thing 2: holy shit I forgot this thing existed

Trigger Happy: pff aah yes ye ol good days of tormenting adults

Thing 1: And ignoring our trauma! Quite the experience if I do say so myself.

Quinlan, Use Psychic Touch!: force obi u using grammer in a chat like that gives me a headache

Thing 1: And your lack of brain cells gives me a headache, but we don’t talk about that, do we Quinlan?

Quinlan, Use Psychic Touch!: i- WOW U DIDN’T HAVE TO COME FOR ME LIKE THAT OBES

Fuck Adults: wejdhjk theres nothing like waking up to obi wan just throwing shade like that

Sick of Your Shit: Well I mean… Quinaln was asking for it

Queen: Oh goodness, Garen why did you have to re open the Sith cursed chat?

Trigger Happy: :o

Best Raisin: The Queen has arrived!!

Thing 1: Hi Lumi, honestly should we even question what goes on in Garen’s head these days?

Queen: I guess not, much like Quinlan Garen sacrificed all of his braincells to you and Bant

Quinlan, Use psychic Touch!: what is this? Bullying garen and quinlan hours??

Queen: Of Course

Best Raisin: When isin’t it bullying quinlan and Garen hours?

Trigger Happy: should it be anthing else

Fuck Adults: obviously

Sick of You Shit: Yes

WHEAT: Yup

Acid Puddle: You two are the only ones in this chat without any braincells, so of course we’re gonna bully you

Thing 2: DID YOU TWO SERIOUSL COME ONLINE JUST TO ROAST ME AND QUIN?!?!?!

Wheat: Certainly

Quinlan, Use psychic Touch!: OBI YOUR BROTHERS ARE BULLIES

Thing 1: y’all hear something?

Trigger Happy: wow cant believe obi just murdered quinlan

Quinlan, Use psychic Touch!: quit tellin’ everyone im dead!

Fuck Adults: Its almost like you can still hear his voice

Quinlan, Use psychic Touch!: wow guess ill go and make out with fox now

Thing 1: You do that, Cody’s just pinged me and added all of our new shinies into the 212th chat.

Best Raisin: I’m surprised obi hasn’t adopted them all yet.

Sick of Your Shit: bold of you to assume he hasn’t already emotionally adopted them.

WHEAT: okay that’s fair

[Chat: 212th Comms: has Been Opened!]

[Feeling Glorious has added Firework, Spinner, Comet and Feather to the Chat! ]

Feeling Glorious: Welcome to the unofficial 212 comm lines shines, you’re one of us now. Ranks and regs don’t mean shit here so feel free to refer to us by or names.

Sunshine Brother: Welcome!

The Favourite: Hi!

Grumpy Brother: Oh force theres two of them

Feather: Thanks sirs, but who is who???

Feeling Glorious: Right. Roll Call! @Everyone State your name, pronouns and a fact about yourself.

Feeling Glorious: I’m Kote, or better known as Cody, I go by he/him pronouns and I have used a lightsaber before.

Spinner: :O Really!?

Sunshine Brother: YEAH It was awesome to watch! I’m Waxer, he/him and Boil and I accidentally adopted a young twi’lek girl named Numa as a little sister back on Ryloth

Grumpy Brother: Im Boil, he/him and I got my name because I spilt boiling water over my arm and hand when I was still a cadet n Kamino.

Barley: Barlex, he/they and I once sucker punched General Kenobi in the throat

Comet: !!!

Firework: HOW DI YOU NOT GET DE COMISSIONED!?

Barley: kenobi’s just pretty chill like that

Curlicue: Names Helix, he/him, medic  and Ihave dragged our general to medbay more times than I can count

Comet: that’s kinda concerning

Shifter Of Gears: Gearshift, they/them, and I once hid in the actual engine of the Negotiator during a game of hide and seek

CRYStal Clear: Crys, he/him and I dyed my hair blond but it now looks like it’s a goldish yellow

Spinner: nice vod

OverShot: Longshot, he/him I shot the clanker bitch himself in the face

Snaptrap: Trapper he/him and I got my name from how quickly I could both make and detect traps compared the the rest of my batchmates.

Feeling Glorious: We love and appreciate you Trapper

Snaptrap: UvU

Grumpy Brother: don’t appreciate THAT THOUGH

I’m Like An Onion, I have Layers: Peel, they/them and I once peeled and ate an entire onion like an apple without a single reaction.

Snaptrap: it was terrifying

Grog: Gregor, he/him and I’m the 212ths main source of moonshine.

The Favourite: I’m Wooley! I go by he/him pronouns and the general’s teaching me how to knit and crochet!

Feather: holy fuck your precious

Comet: I guess we introduce ourselves now????

Comet: well, im Comet, I prefer she/her pronouns and I own a sniper with comet decals all over it

Feather: I’m Feather, he/they and I got my name from having and I quote ‘feather light steps’ during stealth training

Firework: Right, I’m Firework, she/they and I love to paint!

The Favourite: ! Another artist? YES

Spinner: hye im Spinner he/him  and no matter how much I spin I cant get diy for some weird reason.

Feeling Glorious: right, Waxer, you know what to do!

Sunshine Brother: Yessir!

[User: Sunshine Brother: Has changed Feather’s name to: Dreamcatcher!:]

[User: Sunshine Brother: Has changed Comet’s name to: Knock-off Shooting Star!:]

[User: Sunshine Brother: Has changed Spinner’s name to: You Spin Me Right 'Round!:]

[User: Sunshine Brother: Has changed Firework’s name to :Bang Bang!:]

Feeling Glorious: Oh yeah, one more thing

Bang Bang: ?

The Favourite: @Stewed Ginger General!

You Spin Me Right ‘Round: the generals in the chat!?!?!?

Stewed Ginger: Indeed I am Spinner!

You Spin Me Right ‘Round: :HE USES OUR NAMES?!?!? @ Feeling Glorious:

Feeling Glorious: :Yup, he gets sad when we refer to ourselves as numbers:

Stewed Ginger: Right, well I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi, I go go by he/him pronouns and I know over five different languages :)

The Favourite: Hi General!

Snaptrap: Hi general!

Stewed Ginger: Hi boys!

Bang Bang: Uh General, what’s the meaning behind your user, if yo don’t mind me asking?

Stewed Ginger: I don’t mind at all Firework, but its not really creative. My user is just the beginning f my home planet Stewjon and my Hair colour.

Bang Bang: ah thank you sir!

Stewed Ginger: well how about we all meet in one of the rec rooms and get to know each other? I’m sure it will be beneficial for all of us!

Feeling Glorious: Meet you all in rec room 2 shinies!

[User :Feeling Glorious: has closed the chat for :0700: hours!]

[freetoadloverpanda]

THIS IS NOTHING BUT FLUFF!

You and Hawks have been dating for a good while now. You cant believe all the amazing times he has brought to your life and you cant wait to surprise him today.

Hawks being Hakws has something called a rut or mating season, you remeber the first time he told you about it, and the first time you helped him through it. For a good 4 years you've helped him through his ruts and now something has come to the light because of it.

You have always wanted a family, so has your boyfriend, and now you were going to have one! It took you a good 3 hours after you found out from the pregnancy tests that it hit you. You were carrying a child. You couldnt stop the tears pouring from your eyes. You were happy at first then scared.

Your family was very disfunctional, especially your relationship with your mother. You were never physically abused or hit but the sneaky mental abuse caused you to never want to be a mom in fear of becoming like yours. It took Hawks a good 2 years of your relationship to get you out of that mindset.

You shake your head and walk out the the apartment now was not the time to reminisce, you had planned this out throuroughly for your boyfriend. Hawks was currently on duty working his butt off saving people or doing paperwork which gave you all day to set this up. The first thing on your list was of course KFC, your boyfriends favorite food.

You knew the manager of the building and asked him to dye the inside of the chicken with edible food dye. It was pink and blue since you dont know the gender of the child. You picked up the special chicken and made your way to the party store across town. You picked up a gift bag, some decorations, and some of hawks favorite sweets. Evrything was going smooth until you reached your car.

A sudden whosh and arms were encircling your waist. You froze not expecting this outcome. "Surprised to see you out and about baby bird."

You spin around in Hawks arms blocking his vision of the things you just got in the back of your car. "Had to get some things pretty bird. Are you patrolling this area?"

"No, but I could smell your scent and decided to drop in on ya! Plus I kinda missed you, we didnt get to have our usual morning cuddles this morning." The last part was a whisper.

You smile as you watch your boyfriends cheeks start to redden. "Well pretty bird I guess I'll see you when you get home then."

You kiss your boyfriend on the cheek and start to get in your car when you were suddenly pulled back into your boyfriends embrace. Before you could scold him he smashed his lips against yours. You pulled away trying to regain the breathe stolen from your lungs glaring up into golden eyes.

"Did ya really think that I would let you get away with just a peck on the cheek baby bird?"

He smiled cheekily and before you could take a swing at his head he flew off. You huff in irritation and get back in your car driving to the apartment to get the surpise ready.

It took you two whole hours to set up everything. The KFC was on the counter and the gift bag hidden in the oven right next to a bun, for a little added effect you thought. You had some colourful strings attached to the chair in front of the KFC and a note underneath the container. You patiently waited for your boyfriend to come home watching countless shows on the tv to pass the time.

When the front door of your apartment opened and closed you couldnt help the small smile that appeared on your face. You walked over to your boyfriend and hugged him. "Got a little surprise for you in the kitchen pretty bird."

"Oh?"

Hawks picked you up and walked to the kitchen. He squealed a little seeing the chicken and sat down placing you on his lap. "Baby you shouldnt have!"

Eagerly opening the box and taking a bite of the chicken. His eyes widen and he dropped it like it was on fire. "What the hell! It..... It....."

He pointed st the chicken and looked to you in confusion. Tears were streaming down your face from laughing to hard. "What did you do to the chicken!"

Hawks was pouting while silently waiting for your answer. " I aksed thrm to dye the meat with edible dyes."

A gleam appeared in Hawks eyes. "Well since I am not eating the chicken I might as well eat you right?"

"Oh no you dont! Not yet you still have to find it!"

At that Hawks froze "find what?"

You pouted a little and crossed your arms over your chest. "If I told you it would ruin the surprise."

"Can I have a hint then baby bird?"

"Look under the KFC box. That all you get outta me!"

Hawks eagerly lifted the box and picked up the note. 'if you are feeling hungry and there's food you need to make use this to roast a chicken or some cookies you can bake.'

Hawks looks at you in confusion. "Does it mean the oven?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Fine then dont help me y/n."

Hawks stood up and walked over to the oven. As he opens it he grabs the bag and the bun. "Okay... What is this baby bird? Is everything ok?"

You shake your head chuckling to yourself. "Just open the bag birdie."

Hawks opens the bag ang his eyes widen. He looks back up to you and then back into the bag. He did this a couple more times before he ran over to you. He picked you up and spun you a couple of times in the air.

"Oh my god! BABY BIRD WE'RE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!!"

You couldnt help the smile that broke out as you saw happy tears streaming down Hawks face. He gently set you down and walked back over to the bun. "Baby bird you really know how to set up surprises dont you."

You just smirk at him. "It would have probably clicked faster if you were a little smarter pretty bird."

Hawks shrugs and starts to walk towards you when he freezes. "You went outside when you are pregnant! What if you were attacked by a villan or fell or yo-"

"Hawks baby stop." You interupt his rant and make you way towards him. You grab his face in your hands and stare him dead in the eyes. "I love you. You know I am a cautious person. I dont like taking chances at all."

Hawks nods and pulls you close. "I am so totally goving you one of those emergency buttons to hit."

You wiggle your way out of your boyfriends arms and start backing away slowly. "Yeah you can if you can catch me that is."

You take off running towards your bedroom, boyfriend close behind you.

The End

[a-black-pegasus]

TINY BILBO

Tie to try to get into the writing game again. Starting with answering some very patient asks

Tiny borrower! Hobbit! Borrower Hobbit? Bilbo! Thorin, very grumpy, some fear and shaking of tinies

———————————————————————————————————-

Thorin had the directions.

He had the map. 

He had followed that blasted old wizards instructions down to the LETTER, and yet he was STILL LOST!

His grumblings did not remain contained, and traveled out to his clenched fists where the map had been crumpled, and down to his feet which stomped as he carried on marching. 

Really now, where was this blasted Prancing Pony? 

___

Bilbo had never heard such a ruckus! 

Away in his hobbit hole, safe from any big folk, Bilbo had prepared the loviest of diners: A few drops of aged mullberry wine, a pile of roasted chestnuts, a beautiful ripe grape and a plate of sharp soft yellow cheddar. He had expected a nice quiet evening now that the town hand settled down and gone to bed, but apparently that was out of the question. 

He sighed and leaned his elbow against the table as what sounded like whoever was stomping around up there was going around for the fourth time! Perhaps he could offer a little assistance. Just to set the traveler on their merry way of course.

If it helped make the evening peaceful once more, well then, that was just an added incentive wasn’t it? 

Strictly speaking it was against the hobbit code to talk to anyone over two feet tall, but there had been a few instances where he hand bent the rule. A tall grey wizard, with the most spectacular fireworks came to Bilbos mind as he left his table and his underground home, to climb an old rain barrel just above. 

Taking a well earned breath as he reached the top, he settled his feet over the rim and looked for the cause of his ruined - ahem, looked for the lost traveler. 

There was a surly looking dwarf out in the rain, wandering around. He kept turning his head down to look at a crumbly old map, then stopped to grumble out some words that Bilbo could not quite catch.

It was a good thing it was dark. Otherwise there would have been a chance Bilbo could be spotted. Bilbo cleared his throat and decided to get things under way quickly so he could go back home. 

“Hello? Excuse me, I couldn’t help but see you look rather lost.”

Bilbos words caught the dwarf by surprise. He froze and looked around sharply for the voice. 

“Where are you? Come out and show yourself.”

It was almost amusing to Bilbo, seeing the slight irritation this conversation was beginning to cause the dwarf. His forehead had noticeably furrowed, and now confusion was a word that could be added to his description. 

“I must apologize, but I simply can’t  show myself, I uh, have a bit of a bad skin condition going on right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch it.” Bilbo lied easily.

The dwarf turned and pinpointed his voice, but did not go towards him. 

“What kind of skin condition?” He questioned suspiciously.

“Unimportant. But uh, are you lost per chance? I could point you in the right direction. I happen to know the area very well.” 

The dwarf looked to his map again and huffed. “I need to locate the prancing pony. Is it near?"

Bilbo nearly snorted, his evening, interrupted, because a dwarf could not find the most well known bar in all of this side of the river! 

“No. No I’m afraid not. The prancing Pony is one town over, you are in the Shire.”

At his words, the dwarf tore the map up into shreds and cast them to the ground. 

“This is the last time I trust in the words of meddlesome wizards!”

Bilbo was about to leave, but stopped, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Wizards? Which wizard?”

Irritatedly, the dwarf stepped towards Bilbos voice. “Not that it is any of your concern, but Gandalf the Grey.”

Bilbo decided it was time to go before he was spotted. “Ah well, I just Happen to have run into him once or twice.” he swung his legs over the rim and began to descend. “Er, I believe it is time for me to go.”

He nearly fell as the dwarf reached the barrel and jerked it aside in order to find the mysterious voice. 

“Where are you! I, Thorin Oakenshield demand you come out and reveal yourself!”

Bilbo had expected many things that evening, but a drenched angry dwarf, yelling at him, ordering him to come show himself, after he had tried to offer some friendly directions of all things, was not one of them.

Bilbo kept quiet and tried to climb down faster, but slipped against the slick wood and yelped as he barely hung on.

Thorns eyes were on him like a hawk spotting its prey. In one swift move he leaned forwards and grabbed Bilbo in a meaty calloused fist.

Bilbo shrieked and froze up as the dwarfs steel blue eyes pinned him down from under mops of black soggy hair.

“What are you? Are you a some magic trick? Some mischievous pixie trying to trick me? Make me become more lost than  already am??”  He shook his fist violently side to side, making bilbo jerk around.

Bilbo cried and quickly answered. “No! No! I’m a hobbit! A Hobbit!!”

Thorns hand stopped at once. “A hobbit?” he recalled that Gandalf had mentioned them at one point or another, saying how useful they were. This one seemed rather useless. “And what are you doing out here? And why are you..so small.” 

Bilbo could feel Thorins hand loosening up, and could hear his voice become less angry. He took several breaths and tried to reassure himself that he was not going to die.

Hopefully.

“I.. I was trying to help you find your way... because you were stomping around above my home.” He added. “And I’m always this small, all hobbits are this small.”

Thorins throat rumbled as he hummed. “I see. Well, I should get on my way.”

Bilbo sighed and sat up expecting to be put back down or something, but instead he was tipped unceremoniously into a pocket, and tucked away!

“Hey! You cant do this! I have a home, a bed and a place to go back to! Let me go!” He demanded, standing on wobbly feet in the pocket.

Thorins finger came up and pushed him back down. “I'll bring you back, but first you are going to help me get to the prancing pony, then I will release you.”

“WHAT! You cant do this I-” the finger came back and bilbo realizes he was yelling at someone who could easily crush him! He tried to duck away from the fingers, but the back of his vest was grabbed, and he was forcefully lifted from the pocket and dangled in front of Thorins face.

“Are you taking back your offer of help Hobbit?” his voice was neutral, but to the Hobbit it might as well have been a growl.

Bilbos feet flailed over a five foot drop to the ground. 

“N-No! I-I would be glad to help!” He squeaked. 

This was the first time Bilbo saw Thorin smile, but it did not put him at ease at all.

“Good.” 

He placed bilbo back in the pocket and continued on. He would have to ask Gandalf about its usefulness when he got there.

--------------------------------------------------

That's all I got

@sammigruber @gatlily @nightmarejasmine @misfitsgalaxygt @obwjam @bee-wrecker @nerdqueenkat @tinyliltina @lost-done @queenofconspiracies @dc41016 @tinyinabigworld @bloodmoon-memecore @exquisiteren @smolkuriboh27 @i-like-cookiez @shortmarcy @inthemusicbox @random-fandom-dragon

[jan31]

Rambling Review Episode 31

If I came to this world 100 times, I would fall in love with you a 100 times all over again

This is what we need to remember, its a love story between two soulmates, not about Serkan getting his memories back first.

So...it was better than 30 but still some tough scenes to watch and very little time spent on the two main characters, Eda and Serkan

We see Serkan listening to the radio and its all about Eda’s surprise engagement and saying ‘is there no other news in the country’, I am hoping this is the writers throwing shade at the paps who relentlessly pursue Kerem and ask him brainless questions!

Engin, Erden and Pryl discussing the baby and doctors appointment, Erden and Engin crying about it, loved this scene!

We see Eda putting her game into action...making Serkan jealous.  She knows exactly how to do that, make it look like there is another man interested in her and sending her gifts. And it works, he keeps telling her to act professionally at work, but really its his heart reacting to her and he does not even realise it.  I loved Eda calling him out for staring at her, he is really intrigued by her.

Serkan not remembering Melos name was heartbreaking, they used to have such a close relationship.

Sirius is the star of the show and the excuse Serkan has always used when he needed to get close to Eda, which is the reason he turned up at Deniz’s cafe during the day. He just cant stay away from her and doesn’t  realise his heart is ruling him as he does not know what love feels like, he never had that with Seline. 

Eda are you happy

Eda: Serkan, you, me and Sirius we were a family  that no one could destroy.  Serkan: Did I destroy this love?  Eda: Yes you destroyed it

Tough words to hear, and ones that I am sure will haunt Serkan

The chaos that goes on at Edas house when the two sides of the family meet is always funny and this was no exception, Serkan getting slapped by Aidan, “He does nothing, only drives us crazy’ and Eda agrees! 

Its troubling Serkan why Eda never told him about Deniz...someone is jealous

‘Who’s love was better, Serkan or Deniz?” Of course we know who, but Eda says Deniz just to torment him.

Melo as usual is holding everyone together, I am worried it will all become too much for her.  Her and Ferit in the coffee lounge was special, he really is such a gentleman and still cares for Ceren even though their relationship is clearly over. Melo reveals to him about Cerens hard life and she has been taking medication for many years.  He is obviously upset as he had no idea.  Can these two please get together or can we find decent people for them to love and be loved

Ceren is spiralling downwards, has stopped taking her meds and turns up to talk to Deniz with pink hair, I’m not sure if this is how she looked when she was young and was in love with Deniz or just wanted to change her image. Deniz chucking her out of the cafe after she kissed him was harsh, she clearly has problems and he could of least called Melo or Eda and let them know or offered to drive her home.  But instead opted to release Seline from her locked office (well done Melo), he is very focussed on Eda and its worries me as she is totally unaware of his feelings for her, can someone please tell her?

Any one else think it was strange that Serkan just sat there on the boat and did not get up to help Eda, until she asked.  He has always had good manners like that and I found it ooc?

Loved that he felt very comfortable to dry off Edas boobs when he spilt water on them, he was so wide eyed and shocked when Eda called him out, while secretly enjoying his touch!  I love getting to hear about poems they learned, that they had meals on this boat many times before, all the things we did not see in any episodes.

Eda:  Serkan when you left you told me you would be back.  This is the last thing i remember.  We were unable to say goodbye to each other.  And because we didn’t have such a memory, I always think its right to ask you if you remember?

So sad for Eda, she loves him so much, this is her soulmate and he has no memories of her, how that must hurt.

He clearly did not want her to leave the boat, he is drawn to her when they have these times alone and must be wondering where this manipulative woman is that Seline described. Giving her the ring back as a necklace was his way of keeping her close, and the trouble he obviously went to, compared to choosing Selines crappy engagement ring!

Wanting to drive Eda home and then telling Seline to go and he will come later, love it!!! His face lights up when he is with Eda, they have an invisible thread that connects them, and with Seline there is no sign of affection or caring for her.  Serkan took that time on the boat once Eda left to create new memories of their time together, yip he is falling in love and he will try and fight it but its pointless, hes a goner!

Pryl crying over baby booties, those hormones can do that!

After yesterdays boat trip, I fell in love with him even more, is this normal?

My poor Eda, she is being so strong and positive, how, I do not know.  Especially when Serkan tells Farook that they will never get married, as he is marrying Seline soon.  Her face just fell, that really hurt.  and we have to tolerate Seline and her smirking at Eda, ugh i hate this woman.  

Eda opens the box from Deniz and its wedding invitations, obviously a plot created by Deniz and Seline, that why she is looking so pleased with herself.  What a nasty trick and I hope Eda calls Deniz out for it, he is supposed to be friend.

I strongly want to believe that Deniz is working with Seline, but then realises the love between Eda and Serkan is something that cannot be broken and will turn against Seline.

My other worry is this fake engagement, Seline has the recording and she will have no worries about letting Serkan hear it.  I just hope he realises Eda did it because she loves him so much and not to manipulate him.

My hopes for next episode, I am sure we have all seen the fragmans and it looks very edser centred...finally.  Seline finally realising Serkan does not love her, lets see how the pyscho bitch deals with that.  Serkan falling in love more and more with Eda, even without his memories of her returning. We saw in the fragman him saying,’ No one can touch you but me’, his heart knows what he wants and that is Eda.  

Seline is obviously on her way out and hopefully we will see that in 33, there is talk of her going off with Deniz, but hopefully not before Eda tears into her for what she has done. Whilst Serkan had memory loss and did not remember Eda, Seline could have chosen a better path and called Eda and let her know her fiance was alive, for that she needs to be roasted alive 

Enjoy the episode tomorrow, its going to be a good one xx  

[zuzuslastbraincell]

Katara!

KATARA KATARA KATARA

why I like them

oh god where do i even start. katara just contains so many multitudes - she's sweet and feminine and caring and attentive but she's never reduced to just that, she's never just 'the girl', she's also allowed to get mad, to be petty, to laugh at her brother, to be headstrong and stubborn, to express vulnerability, to cry and to laugh, to make ridiculous facial expressions and *be* very expressive. she's dealing with a lot of trauma not simply from the loss of her mother but that loss represents also how her tribe have been decimated by the fire nation, how she's the last waterbender, how all this pressure exists on her shoulders (but also pride, but also determination, to bring it back) and that is expressed subtly throughout the series with the same depth and love that male characters are afforded with regard to their respective traumatic experiences. and despite all this she never tries to stop making the world good? She's always pushing for change, she's always wanting to make things better, she's relentless and doesn't give up when it comes to her vision for a better world... she has such a big heart. and that coexists with a deep anger in her, and deep hurt. Not to make an ocean metaphor so early on but she's as deadly and deep as the ocean but she chooses to be kind and warm and that's so powerful.

why i don't

honnestly while katara's instincts to mother people are a sad symptom of how she was forced to grow up to soon and automaically asigns herself a role of emotional responsibility she has mixed feelings about, i know that if katara tried to mother me, i would be annoyed. but that sounds more like a me problem.

favourite episode

oh it's either the episode where she beats the fucking shit out of pakku or it's the southern raiders. the first one because it's so gratifying to see how she's grown and developed as a bender and really come into her own. the second because... god i love how *messy* the southern raiders is, and it really taps into what i love about katara - she's flawed, she runs off on an ill-thought out revenge mission with zuko, she's got a great capability for darkness as she quite seriously considers murdering a man she has every right to loathe and to kill - but she chooses against it, in the end. it would not be right for her, if not him. she chooses what's right for her in the end.

favourite season

I'm gonna be a wee bit controversial and say book 1 had the best conception of katara's arc from student to master and really saw her grow and flourish, from someone yelling at her brother' oafish prejudice to a real master, that really solidified her as an idealist and presented that as the strength that is, that showed her struggling with petty jealousy of aang's progress and had her stumble in ways that made her character comeplling and interesting - like what an introduction to her character! book 2 had some fantastic moments but i can't think of anything particularly remarkable about hee character arc - largely because it tied into aang's romantic arc i think at this point. book 3 had some absolutely fantastic moments (scam queens katara and toph!! painted lady!! southern raiders!! the final agni kai) that really shone but also book 3 lays a lot of groundwork for fanon i hate (e.g. katara as the mom friend - wish that headcanon would die tbh)

favourite line

fuck there's a lot of good ones but my underrated fave is when sokka says he's kissed a girl before but she's never met her and katara says 'Who? Gran-gran? I've met gran-gran' and it's bruuutaaall

but my favourite serious line is 'I will never ever give up on people who need me'. powerful.

favourite outfit

water tribe anything!! and i actually think her book one/book two braids are her best hair. underrated katara hair. personally she looks just adorable in her parka in the flashback to when she was like. eight.

OTP

katara/personal fulfilment

katara/happiness

katara/fulfilling her goals and dreams

katara/loving minor background character who is never named

there's some ships i like in AU situations - yuetara is actually one i lov, especially with waterbender yue, i just love the whole sea/moon thing as well as katara and yue rebelling in loud/quiet ways, being girlfriends who refuse to have their lives defined by the expectations of older men, who have a great sense of duty towards their nations and won’t let gendered expectations stop them.

and most of you know i like the messy drama of katara/azula in a lighter AU situation where they're like, school or academic rivals, and the legacy of imperialism isn’t quite so personal (and azula makes better choices, obviously), but it’s not as much as i “ship” them as i just find the potential dynamic interesting, they’re both driven by a sense of duty for their home, it’s just that means *very* different things depending if you’re SWT or FN.

none of them are OTPs though - they’re more just fun thought experiments

brotp

katara & sokka - absolutely love their sibling dynamic its amazing. both have been impacted negatively by the shit in their lives and are not always dealing with it in functional ways but theyre there for each other, through thick and thin, always have each other's backs, they roast each other and bicker and sometimes make stupid decisions and sometimes lash out but at the end of the day their love pulls through, they’re able to work past those conflicts.

katara & aang - honestly while i feel kataang was just so poorly executed in the show (listen guys I just can’t after ember island players, i know that was a bad episode, but i can’t) & i cant imagine katara wanting to leave the south pole after the war for long spells (it would have to be long distance love, lots of profound and heartfelt letters and occasional visits, if anything, but i dont know if that’s what katara wants or needs? so maybe it wouldn’t pan out?), but regardless, i really do think these two had a life-changing friendship where each really represented hope for each other, that's at the core of it, they both truly believe in each other, and inspired each other. katara & aang good.

a headcanon

chief katara anyone?? chief katara?!?! 

oh oh OH i also think that katara, while primarily a combat bender during the war, actually takes to healing a lot more after the show and gets proper healing training at some point with the help of a trained medical expert and maybe yugoda. tbh i feel like the show was a bit dismissive of healing as an ability - i feel like having that is *extremely* useful in any combat situation, you always have a medic on hand - but i understand why katara, who wanted to be recognised as powerful regardless of her gender, and wanted to hold herself in a fight alongside sokka & aang, pushed for combat waterbending training because that is what 'powerful' looks like to her in the moment. obviously katara is capable of incredible healing feats (see: saving aang) but i think given we see her as a healer in lok (not a decision i necessarily disagree with) would mean a shift in focus. i think katara actually comes to realise she likes healing a great deal, but really she excels in all aspects of waterbending and is the south’s most respected master who helped rejuvenate southern style waterbending  

unpopular opinion

the main reason people think katara is straight is because we see her have very few meaningful interactions with other girls outside of toph. ATLA as a show is a bit romance obsessed, and very heteronormative in that regard, and so interactions with minor characters almost always line up with a potential crush for sokka or katara, and later, zuko (suki, haru, jet, yue, song, jin....). we rarely see katara build friendships with other girls and it’s such a damn shame.

(anyway bi katara for life)

a wish

the version of the puppetmaster we saw was actually fire nation propaganda, i feel like katara would have felt deep compassion for a prisoner of war and after maybe some clashes, would have agreed to help smuggle her out of the fire nation and secure passage home for hama, and tried to assure her that she still has a place there. the treatment of hama in that episode was awful (but also hama was written to be almost cartoonishly evil, very much an evil witch in her cottage in the spooky woods? like the whole horror movie / spooky story opening was such a big tell) and tbh i reject the thesis that we saw ‘katara’s dark potential’ in that episode completely, or that bloodbending as a power is inherently dark, or katara’s use of it to stop hama ‘corrupted’ her. I feel like katara might feel this way as a teenager perhaps but with time (she can be a little black and white at times), and especially with more training as a healer, i think she might realise that’s not the case, she’ll realise that she was right to try and oppose hama, her elder (she was lashing out rather than really trying to oppose the fire nation), and it wasn’t a betrayal of her or her beliefs, but also her use of bloodbending wasn’t wrong or evil inherently at all? and maybe she’d find ways to use it for healing purposes? anyway my wish is that, i like the idea that they meet again, speak about their differences, reconcile a little / come to an understanding, and katara learns more from hama again

an oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen

anything where katara’s character is reduced to a comforter or a healing device for a man and his trauma. particularly zuko. (they don’t have that dynamic in canon thankfully, zuko would never, zuko respects her too much)

5 words to describe them:

idealistic, hard-working, powerful, headstrong, kind

my nickname for them:

chief. or comrade. :^)

[nahalism]

Songs that make you want to experience love (of any kind) or remind you of it??

u just opened pandoras box.. like.. u think ur ready, but ur not ready. and i cant apologise for what im about to do because what song isnt a love song?.. you have proposed an existential question & for that i refuse to keep this uncompletable task concise. hold on 2 ur toupee, clutch ur peals 🤧

verdena // valvonauta

the nerves // hanging on the telephone

dionne warwick // walk on by

luther vandross // anyone who had a heart

stevie wonder // all in love is fair, never dreamed youd leave in summer, lately, superwoman (where were you when i needed you)

ms lauryn hill // i gotta find peace of mind

lenny williams // cause i love you

donny hathaway // ill love you more than you ever know (& the amy winehouse cover of this)

eva cassidy, autumn leaves

nina simone // you dont know what love is, just say i love him, you can have him, everything must change

chet baker // my funny valentine, almost blue, the autumn leaves

the police // roxanne

amy winehouse // take the box, wake up alone, you sent me flying, stronger than me

nat king cole // nature boy, smile, the very thought of you

etta james // id rather go blind

gladys knight & the pipps // midnight train to georgia

al green // how can you mend a broken heart, lets stay together

janis joplin // maybe

anita baker // angel

simply red // holding back the years, you make me feel brand new

luther vandross // a house is not a home

deniece williams //  free, silly 

boyz II men // i cant make you love me

michel’le // something in my heart

patrice rushen // remind me

toni braxton // another sad love song, breathe again

tamar braxton // all the way home, love and war

the delfonics // lala means i love you, hey love

bobby womack // if you think your lonely now

rick james ft teena marie // fire and desire

the gap band // yearning for your love

jahiem // ghetto love, could it be

mariah carey // anytime you need a friend, my all

tamia // stuck with me, so into you

shai // if i ever

new edition // can you stand the rain, if it isnt love

ATL // make it up with love

blackstreet // dont leave me

bow wow // let me hold you, my baby

jhene aiko // feel like a man, wait no more, my mine, you vs them

twenty88 // 2 minute warning

corrine bailey rae // the whole of her self titled album

yebba // my mind

neyo // do you, part of the list

erykah badu // green eyes, other side of the game, next lifetime, in love with you, out my mind just in time

keyshia cole // send from heaven, love, i should have cheated, trust and believe

whitney houston // i learned from the best, run to you, saving all my love, im your baby tonight

michael jackson // lady in my life, break of dawn, butterlies, baby be mine, keep it in the closet, who is it, give in to me, rock with you .. etc etc etc

abba // lay all your love on me

seal // kiss from a rose

patrick swayze // shes like the wind

phil collins // in the air tonight

the police // roxanne

tracy chapman // fast car, baby can i hold you

james blunt // 1973

chris isaak // wicked game

fleetwood mac // rihannon, dreams janis ian // at 17

googoo dolls // iris (duh)

oasis // wonderwall (duhh x2)

dido // white flag

joni mitchell // both sides now, a case of you

randy crawford // almaz, one day ill fly away

little dragon // never never, twice

lana del rey // video games, blue jeans

london grammar // hey i, wasting my young years

ellie goulding // starry eyes (acoustic), guns & horses (acoustic)

avril lavigne // when your gone, im with you

paramore // misguided ghosts, decode

hiatus kaiyote // the lung

jorja smith // wandering romance, goodbyes

kelsey lu // dreams

kelela // all the way down, turn to dust, enough, better, take me apart

king krule // slush puppy, many more

SiR ft masego // ooh nah nah

fka twigs // papi pacify

steve lacy // dark red

iamddb // more

abra // pride

sonder x brent faiyaz // lovely

pharoah sanders // harvest time

james blake // wilhelm scream

portico quartet // the visitor

kokoroko // ti de

funkadelic // maggot brain, ill stay

collard // everglade

feng suave // honey theres no time, by the poolside

mac demarco // still beating, my kind of woman, let her go, let my baby stay, one more love song

connan mockasin // do i make you feel shy

gas dapperton // prune, you talk funny

blood orange // saint, out of your league, best to you, never good enough

majid jordan // her, u, king city, warm

japanese breakfast // triple 7, the woman that loves you, everybody wants to love you

frank ocean // higgs *or just insert his whole discog*

daniel ceasar // japanese denim

xavier omar // speculate

sza // pretty little birds, caretaker ft dram, babylon, warm winds, 2 am, passport

jeremih // british headboards, worthy ft. jhene aiko, raindrops, & obvs bday sex

j cole // runaway, shes mine pt1 & 2

travis scott // astrothunder

drake // come winter, cameras/good ones go, doing it wrong, east district... anything ending in interlude .. *again, insert practically any of his songs*

tory lanez // 1 call

partynextdoor // tbh, wus good/curious, west district, rendezvous, wednesday night interlude, persian rugs, spiteful, cant let the summer pass, her way, thirsty, muse, the right way

serani // do you good (!!!)

miguel // girl with the dragon tattoo, pussy is mine

vybz kartel & gaza slim // anything a anything

movado // when yuh feel lonely

nicki minaj // save me, i lied, autobiography

tokio hotel // monsoon

my chemical romance // the ghost of you, helena

nickelback // how you remind me & someday

whilst she sleeps // seven hills, our courage our cancer

pierce the veil // stained glass eyes and colourful tears, i dont care if your contageous, im low on gas and you need a life jacket, southern constellations, the new national anthem, bulls in the bronx, caraphernalia, disasterology

(& lol dont roast me but id b lying if i didnt include dem)

vanessa ann hugends // say ok :) 

lmnt // open your eyes

edward mccain // ill be

jesse mccartney // im leavin (lol dont roast me)

lindsay lohan freaky friday songz (?) // the ultimate, take me away

[rigginsstreet]

1, 8, 16, 18, 22, 23

1. give short descriptions of all your current WIPs.

well we got... the smut. which... takes place in the construction trailer. thats all im willing to say about it lmao

then i got the happiest season au so thats festive. 

then i got chapter 2 of the harringrove childhood best friends fic which is focusing on the high school years which will be super fun once get past the wall i hit but its fine its chill i got it

then i attempted to start 2 other fics a few weeks ago when i was feeling supes depressed lol and those were penelope reaching out to fp after freds funeral (as i said... i was depressed lmao) and the other one is sad christas where fred and fp make sweet love under the twinkling christmas lights but then have a big fight after bc that still sounds fun to me. dont know when those are ever gonna get finished but like... theyre there. i only got like one paragraph in to both of them tho so

8. which of your own projects have shaped your writing the most? in what way?

i think my writings been consistently terrible so this is not the question for me lmao whichever one i wrote first has pretty much just... set the tone

16. to what extent do you research for your writing?

the most research i ever put into any of my fics was googling when video game consoles were popularized in the home for the harringrove fic i fucking hate writing pre 90s i dont know shit. but beyond that the most im googling is like what year a song or movie came out

18. how do what you look for in your own writing vs someone else’s coincide? how does your writing influence your reading?

i dont think my writing influences my reading. as for the first question, i will say with smut i can read a LOT of shit, a LOT of certain language and im fine with it. but when it comes to me actually writing it suddenly i get so embarrassed and im like “this sounds cringey. no one writes it this way. dont use those words” but itll be about shit that is so commonplace in literally every smut fic ive ever read like i still cant reference balls it makes me uncomfortable lmfao but beyond that, im pretty critical of other peoples writing. like... to a certain extent i can put up with mistakes, but theres definitely a limit to that and even then im like fixing shit in my head to make it flow better as im reading. so the bar for me is always to just write better than the worst fics ive read. which... i can safely say i at least do that.

22. how much of your own self/experiences do you believe pours into your projects? if this differs per project, which projects have the most and least of you?

i simply have no experiences to draw from i am a hermit. i ... do not live life. even when i was younger i just... did not do anything lmao the only bits of myself/my experiences i can put in are like... mental illness. and even then i have yet to fully tap into that energy i dont know if any of us are ready for that level of negativity. (which... was probably gonna happen in those previously mentioned depression fics so its for the best we did not go there). oh but if you want a fun answer any time ive written gladys or alice roasting fp thats fully been me and how i interact with people

23. what do you do to engage with your projects which isn’t actually writing? ex: playlists, pinterest boards, etc. how much do they play a role in the development of your work?

i do none of those things. i dont actively pursue anything outside of writing for the fics. if i happen to come by something that inspires an idea then sure but im not out seeking it. ive tried making moodboards before for fics but i get annoyed cuz i can never find the pics i want and i give up. the only reason why murder fic has one is bc i was saving up pictures long before i even decided to write it