#i cant believe it took me this long to realize this
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i've always read 'kensington' as keningston and i realized its read as kensington like how did i not notice earlier?? even in all my rereads of rwrb it has always been keningston castle not kensington castle jhbbcbksjhbcxe wth
#random things#you learn something new every day#this is like the only word i've read wrong in my head#i cant believe it took me this long to realize this#okay bye
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2024.6.18
2024.10.29
2024.11.11
#i crafted this yesterday uwu my whole life since i knew myself i wanted this but just recently managed to collect materials#and crafted yesterday omg why#i bought the stone years ago unconsicously not realizing i want to craft this and when this june arrived i suddenly realized#i can craft this and i crafted this and i cant believe how much this trinket give me joy i cant believe it i keep looking at it for hours#what took me so long to get here holy shit#crafts#stone#necklace#ekaki
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found out i had a positive impact on someone. need to have an existencial crisis right now
#like for some context#i have a study blog i share tips answer questions that kinda thing#and in april i answer an ask about burn out. gave a some tips. linked a few articles and related posts. etc.#and now in november the person that sent that ask sent another#thanking me#and saying all these past months they ve been realizing how much pressure they put on themselves and working on it and etc etc#and my post was the cataclyst for all the research and work#and like#im so happy for them#i remember the og ask and they were struggling and knowing they are better is so wholesome and im like super happy#but knowing they are better and being there for the process is completly different that knowing that i took part of it that i helped#like me? really? thats insane#i helped someone#like for real#long-effect#im letting that sink in#bc its insane#positive impact on someone#i cant believe it#im crying#of happiness?#idk existencial crisis man
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most important dms that shira has ever sent
#i think shiras already posted this part but i wanted to reread the whole convo#i cant believe it took me this long to twll her#abt them#cant believe there was a time I didn't realize that shira was fated to fall into this w me#i love her#txt#highposting. btw#happy ofpd day
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I'm coming out (again) guys…
Arospike pride… 🎉🎉🎉
#fierce rambles#and im queerplatonic…. as far as i know…#cant believe it took me this long to realize 😭
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at first i considered engage to be one of the more strategic harder fire emblems (and compared to three houses it definitely is but thats a low bar) but no. its power fantasy. currently my main powerhouse is ivy + soren. they obliterate everything that dares to not have high resistance. wyvern rider? one shot. high def unit? one shot. everyone does decent damage at this point but for a unit i wrote off as a unit i only put on the field because i like her at first.
#'but she wont double without lyn' DOES IT MATTER WHEN SHE DOES 86 DAMAGE. DOES IT#idk how high her speed is actually my switch is empty#but rest assured putting her over a large area of flier only terrain in a map with a bunch of wyvern riders.#15 coughing babies vs 1 hydrogen bomb. god bless.#ramblings#my current favorite combos in my game are ivy+soren & timerra+ike because i dont care how many ppl tell me timerra is bad.#shes so tanky in my main save. its kinda scary#she replaced louis. and shes doing GREAT#bonus shoutout to kagetsu & veronica (i didnt know who to pair them with. last picks in dodgeball vibes)#and to alcryst & lucina where im like 90% sure lucina hasnt done shit since i put her on him.#engage starts getting REAL fun when you start dicking around with emblems i cant believe it took me this long to realize that#i had default combos only for AGES#aside from. pandreo and byleth?? for some reason??#the virgin me from when engage released googling good conos vs the chad me now just doing what i think sounds funny#'soren would hate this so much. lets do it.'#i do think my sudden interest in the older games & thus my slightly more extensive knowledge of the emblems in their original habitats helps#soren you mean everything to me now. im scared of continuing PoR because im scared ill get his frail ass killed like i did w rhys
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anywyas
#✧ chatting !#over it now teehee#i cant believe it took me an hr to do my chores tho i didnt even realize it had been that long lol
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that goddamned afomight art of yours was heavensent i am now kissing you on the lips
Heheh thank you thank you
im currently writing a thread fic on twitter of it if anyone's interested~
#also its technically a part of villain au#i cant believe it took me this long to realize I could do that#berreh speaks
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2023 Tumblr Top 10
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Can I just say that I love the way the music indicated it was time for Helen to stop? There's so many markers here that she's...
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Summation
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Love that Roblox oof memes are coming up again 😂 Not reposts. Literally the old posts from a year ago, resurrected I love tumblr
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Does anybody else think Elia Kane might be trying thwart Gideon? If she were helping Gideon, I would expect her to kidnap or...
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Created by TumblrTop10
#tumblrtop10#about me#2023#i post#tumblrnotecounter#jetblackcode#i ramble in the tags#i cant believe it took me this long to realize i missed doing this for 2023#only 47 original posts last year
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my mind cant comprehend why jump up superstar is the more popular song from the mario odyssey ost when this one exists
youtube
#talking#vid#music#LIKE. I UNDERSTAND THE HYPE WITH JUMP UP SUPERSTAR AND THE DONKEY KONG HOMAGE#BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD I FELT LIKE CRYING WHEN I GOT TO THE SCENE WHERE BREAK FREE (JP) PLAYS AND I LIKE. REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING. LIK#i need to replay this game i'm amazed at how all fucking out they went on it. if you showed this to me when 3d world came out and told me#it was gonna be the last mario ever i wouldve believed you#odyssey my dear odyssey...#what a gigantic love letter to mario as a whole i cant believe it took me that long to play it (last year) but im glad i did when i did#i talk about sonic all the time but LET IT BE FUCKING KNOWN i actually grew up more on mario LMAO#Youtube
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Uggggggh I had a nightmare about my mom. I’m glad she disowned me.
#I cant believe it took That Long for me to realize how bad the situation was#for the record she wouldn’t even let me back in the house AFTER the smell had gone away.
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Coworker: *suddenly tells me something about themselves*
Me: oh ! That's nice :)
Them: ... Anyhow!
*Much later*
Me: oh... i was supposed to exchange my own personal story of equal value in return.
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I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING AND SCRAMBLED TO FIND THIS POST. THIS IS THE GREEN GEL FROM THE EVIL WITHIN. THIS IS SEBASTIANS GOO ACTUALLY.
in the arcade update in hi-fi rush, there was a secret, seventh drink added to the vending machine's usual line-up:
a mysterious green ooze in an unlabeled, rusting jar...
no nutrition labels, no associated head, not even a "please recycle" label... bro whose drink is this?
#I NORMALLY DONT ADD TO POSTS BUT LIKE IVE BEEN WATCHING A STREAM OF EVIL WITHIN 1 AND 2 AND I CANT BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO REALIZE#FRIEND POSTED A SCREENCAP OF THE GOO FROM THE EVIL WITHIN 1 AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I ACTUALLY LOOKED AT WHAT THE JAR LOOKED LIKE#AT INSTANTLY I RECALLED THIS POST LIKE FUCK!!!!!!!! IT WAS ANOTHER REFERENCE THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry op for using your post for my revelation your the one person i found who took a good screencap of this fucking goo#anyways thanks goodbye ahdgrjjshrjskjsgfm#hi fi rush
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asking to place lipstick marks on 'it'
seventeen x reader 18+, nsfw, svt down bad warnings: suggestive content, love making wc: 1.0k author's notes: such a CRAZYY thought to have, so i decided to do it :) but i cant believe it took me this long to finish writing this (read: uni is kicking my ass). anyways, wouldn't say i'm very satisfied with it, but i really hope you guys like it!! also, special thanks to @simpxxstan for giving me ideas for a few members
➼ choi seungcheol
very interested in the idea. would get so excited for this. would ask if he can select the shade of lipstick and runs to your dressing table when you agree. but most likely would end up buying a new set of lipsticks because the shade he wants 'is not there' (it's an excuse for him to buy you a new set). by the time you're able to finish your mission, you're over three rounds and he's a sweaty, moaning mess. neither of you sleep that night.
➼ yoon jeonghan
would become so smug when you suggest it?? like full on smirk on his face and just goes, "if you wanted me to fuck you, you could have just said that." but will eventually agree when he sees your boba eyes and gets excited seeing your excitement. will probably squirm and whimper because of the sensations at first, but the sex later on is crazy.
➼ hong jisoo
confused eyes. looks so adorable you end up smushing his face and kissing his lips in fondness. man is actually so clueless at first, but then ever more confused when he realizes what you meant. becomes beet red until you promise him it's just for fun and not necessary until he's okay with it, hearing which he quickly agrees cause if you're gonna have fun, why would he not indulge you? would become so adorably shy when he sees the result. makes you cum with just his fingers and mouth as thank you.
➼ moon junhui
mindblown by your idea. becomes so excited; it's like a child waiting for candy. so endeared by you that he ends up making you smooch all over his face. then he starts kissing all over your face. the lipstick marks meant for his dick end up on your faces, but neither of you could be happier than at this moment. slowly turns into a gentle love making session.
➼ kwon soonyoung
you ask him in a very usual way, but it's only after he accepts that you realize this is a great opportunity to tease him. asks if he can record it (because he's very amused by this idea) and searches for the perfect lighting and angle while you prepare. thinks he's so prepared for it, but starts shaking and pleading the moment you start kitty licking his tip. by the time you're finished, he's panting and wanting for more.
➼ jeon wonwoo
you ask him while he was gaming; he leaves the game so fast you wonder what went wrong. but then he goes and picks up a random shade of lipstick and pulls you in between his knees as he manspreads on his gaming chair. holds your hair as you work on him. hours later, the lipstick and your clothes lie forgotten by the bed.
➼ lee jihoon
wants this whole event to occur in his studio. literally agrees when you offer to come to the studio for it. he'd be acting so nonchalant but you can clearly hear his heart racing in his chest and his ears going red. also likely to voice record the whole thing with your consent to use as 'inspiration' later (will use it to get off during desperate times).
➼ lee seokmin
another one who'd get red. very shy. "woah where do you even get ideas like these?" as he goes wide-eyed and still manspreads on the couch to invite you in. goes weak in his knees when he sees you make eye contact with him as you look up from between his knees wearing a shade he considers sexy. you have to abort the mission because he ends up pushing your face few many times.
➼ kim mingyu
GIGGLY MESS. you don't understand what he's been giggling about ever since you proposed the idea, but you're currently down on your knees in front of his naked body and he just cant stop giggling??? when you ask him about it though, he says he's way too endeared by this whole task and wants you to kiss every inch of his body. so, an hour or so later, you're panting, straddling a happy mingyu who's entire body is covered with lipstick stains. time to make a new folder in your gallery.
➼ xu minghao
lowkey becomes concerned about you. he already suspected you were upto something when you approached him with a cheeky smile, but he never thought it'd be this... wild? almost instantly rejects until he sees you get down and look at him with such hopeful eyes that he cant resist. still finds it weird as you mark him, but gladly indulges you. takes photos of it (without you knowing,,, or so he thinks) because you are the artist, and he ends up liking the art a little too much.
➼ boo seungkwan
lowkey judges you first, before highkey agreeing to it. it's one of the "how dare you make stupid decisions and do them without me" moments. judgmental most of the time: "is that the shade you're choosing? it doesnt look good on my skin tone," "the lip shapes arent perfect, pucker them a little more," etc etc. after lots of advice and nagging, you finally finish the job. you get up with a satisfied smirk as you look at his pretty pink cock and his spent form.
➼ chwe vernon
deeply contemplates it. quickly nods when you say, "it's for the art" and asks for some time. leaves. comes back saying "okay, let's do it." when you ask him where he went, he goes "i had to be clean and ready." waits for you to prep for it, but almost cums then and there when he sees you naked, wearing only his favourite shade of lipstick. by the time you could finish the task, he's lost all his marbles and begs you to ride him. finishes with his cum painting your chest and stomach.
➼ lee chan
turns red as a tomato. one moment you suggest the idea, the next he has to physically pull his head outta the gutter because his thoughts escalated into something else. and no matter how hard he tries to deny that he was indeed having very mature thoughts, the blush creeping to his cheeks screams the truth. asks somewhere in between if he can mark your chest with his lipstick marks, and honestly? who are you to resist? by the end of the night, he's spent and at your mercy and you havent yet completed the task.
#svt#seventeen#svt x reader#seventeen × reader#seventeen scenarios#seventeen reactions#seventeen smut#svt smut#scoups#jeonghan#joshua#jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#dk#mingyu#the8#seungkwan#vernon#dino#articles.ris
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okay hi just a warning rq my autocorrect is off bc it autocorrected my friend’s name to fuckin malayalam on accident. i dont like autocorrect.
ANYWAY! ive been listening to my lovely olivia rodrigo lately, specifically her new song obsessed. i wanted to know if you could make a fic with Ethan x fem! reader where readers bitchy friend has this ex (Ethan) and she made him out to be a real dick. like, manipulating and everything.
reader eventually meets him and it turns out that she remembers… a lot about him considering her friend is a constant yapper and cant shut up about him. Ethan actually turns out to be a real cutie patootie and could literally never hurt anyone.
a few days later theyd meet again at some club or party maybe where they end up hitting it off… a little too well.. yeah so she ends up in his bed (smut part, very dom ethan plspls 😛😛). they could be talking about something really random and then reader brings up how her friend basically completely lied about him and said he was a piece of shit when he really wasnt. like a realllll fluffy end before a small cliffhanger thats never gonna get finished where her friend ends up finding out and texting her.
so sorry if thats too long or confusing idk but i actually love your work so much im lowkey your #1 fan. 😍😍😍
HELLO! I switched this up a little, I hope that's okay! 💕
Also, I fucking loved the 'leave it on a cliffhanger part that won't get finished' because WHY IS THAT WHAT I DO lmao
Obsessed - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader - Part 1
This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Part 2
Summary: Your friend told you horrible lies about her ex-boyfriend, and once you get to know him, you realize he's not the monster she made him out to be.
Contains: Mentions of a toxic relationship, Dom-ish cocky Ethan, rough-ish sex, oral - f receiving, p in v, fluff (If I missed anything, PLEASE let me know. I'm sleep deprived atm)
A/N: This was the one that pulled me out of my writers block, lmao. It's still not where I want it to be, but I'm TRYING. I'll try to post more this week, but I will be busy so bear with me haha.
You didn’t know Ethan Landry, but you knew you didn’t like him. He used to date one of your friends, and after hearing all the horrible things he’d said and done during their relationship, you thought he was really scummy.
They dated in high school and couldn’t get enough of each other, so they wanted to go to the same college. They broke up right before freshman year started, and after almost a year, she still talked about him every chance she got. She’d tell you how controlling he was. The things he’d call her when he was mad. How he cheated on her. You couldn’t believe that she stayed in the relationship for as long as she did, because she never had anything good to say, except that she loved him.
You’d seen pictures of him, and after walking into one of your classes at the start of the new semester, you saw him in person for the first time. He was so shy as he took his seat in the lecture hall, some of the girls making their little comments about the rumors they’d heard about him. He didn’t seem like the type that would do the things your friend said, but maybe he was just really good at playing innocent. All you knew was that you needed to keep your distance from him.
When you met up with your friend later that day for lunch, you didn’t know if you wanted to bring up Ethan being in the same class as you, but once she brought him up, you decided to tell her.
“Speaking of Ethan…I saw him today,” you said, before taking a bite of your food. Her face dropped as she looked at you.
“Where did you see him?” she questioned. You explained that you saw him in one of your new classes, and she rolled her eyes. “Can you believe he still tries to text me?”
“What I can’t believe is that you haven’t blocked him,” you said, “I know I’d hate to see someone that treated me like shit’s name pop up on my phone.”
She started to giggle as you curiously stared at her. “I have him saved in my phone as ‘Tall loser with a small dick’, so I laugh every time he does text me.”
“That’s not toxic at all,” you said, as you started to think about what she’d said. “Wait, he treated you as bad as he did and has a small dick? What the fuck were you thinking?”
“All he had going for him was that he was cute,” she said, “But seriously, if I were you, I’d stay away from him.”
“Oh, please. Like I’d even want to be near him.”
Your morning wasn’t going as expected. You slept through all of your alarms; you didn’t have time to stop for coffee. You didn’t think your day could get any worse, until you walked into class and noticed the only empty seat available was beside Ethan. You took a deep breath before you walked over and sat down. Once you reached into your backpack, you realized that your laptop wasn’t there. You were in such a hurry when you ran out of your dorm and didn’t even think to grab it.
“Shit,” you whispered, “I’m so stupid.”
“Here,” Ethan said, passing you a notebook and a pen. You curiously looked at him as he offered a weak smile. “I always keep an extra notebook, just in case.”
“Thanks,” you said, a half-smile playing on your lips.
Once class started, you were taking your notes, but you kept glancing over to Ethan. He was so focused on typing that he didn’t notice, but you couldn’t help but wonder if everything your friend told you was true. At that moment, he didn’t seem like a jerk. Then again, he had only spoken a handful of words to you.
Ethan was aware of all the things that were said about him. He hoped that after a few weeks it all would’ve blown over, but once you have an angry ex-girlfriend paint you as some horrible, emotionally abusive asshole, it’s hard to come back from that. He knew that it was best for him to just keep his head down until he was able to transfer to a different school, where no one knew who he was. He was miserable at Blackmore, and he really had no reason to stick around, aside from the few friends he’d made.
After class was over, you tore the pages of notes you’d taken from the notebook to give it back to Ethan.
“Thanks again,” you said, as you handed it back to him.
“You’re welcome,” he said, shoving it back in his backpack. “I thought about just emailing you my notes, but I didn’t know if you’d want that.”
“You’re telling me I didn’t have to spend the last hour trying to write that fast?” you asked, as he flashed you a sweet, genuine smile. “Why wouldn’t someone want that?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s because most people here hate me,” he said, sliding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. “You’ve probably heard things about me.”
“Yeah…are they true?” you asked, as he shook his head.
“You’re the first person that’s asked me that. Everyone else just assumes everything is true,” he sighed, “But no, I’m not a bad person.”
You started to feel so guilty. You’d said plenty of bad things about him, but you only heard one side of the story. With your friends’ story changing so many times, getting more dramatic each time she told it, you were starting to realize that it was all bullshit. You still didn’t know exactly what happened, but you were curious to know what the truth was.
“You okay?” Ethan asked, noticing that you were lost in thought as you stood in front of him.
“I’m friends with your ex,” you said, as his smile slowly fell. “What’s the real story?”
He sat back down in his seat as the other students piled out of the room. You sat beside him as you waited for him to speak.
“I really loved her…but she was just so controlling. Then she cheated on me when she went to the beach with her family. I didn’t find out about that until right before we started college,” he said, looking over to you. “She was pissed that I broke up with her, then all these horrible things about me started going around.”
“That’s fucked up,” you said, as he nodded.
“Yeah, she’s still been trying to text me. I finally blocked her a few days ago.”
“Wait, she said you’ve been trying to text her,” you said, his eyes growing wide at your words.
“Her number’s been deleted from my phone for months. I have no interest in talking to her,” he said, “I know this must be weird for you since you are her friend, but I think it’s cool that you wanted to hear me out.”
“Well, I feel like I need to apologize…I’ve said some things about you that weren’t true.”
“She’s a good liar. She has almost the entire school hating me so it doesn’t surprise me that her friend does, too,” he said, as he stood back up.
“I don’t hate you,” you said, smiling at him. “I don’t know if you’d want to, and I know she’d kill me, but if you ever want to hang out sometime, let me know.”
“I’d like that.”
Ethan was kicking himself for not asking you for your number, or shit, even your social media so he could DM you. He thought you were beautiful, but he knew that hoping for a chance with you would be a reach. He really just needed more people in his life that believed him to make the time he still had at the university more enjoyable.
Your friend begged you to come to a random frat party that you didn’t feel like going to in the first place. After your talk with Ethan, you weren’t even sure you wanted to be around her. You still went, and after searching for her for almost an hour, you checked your phone to see a message from her that she wasn’t coming, and that she ran into one of the guys she’d been hooking up with on the way to the party.
“Why the fuck am I even here?” you said to yourself as you locked your phone and slid it into the back pocket of your jeans.
“Hopefully to hang out with me, if your offer’s still good,” you heard from behind you, recognizing Ethan’s voice.
“Hey,” you said as you turned to face him. “I didn’t expect to see the most hated man on campus here.”
“My roommate told me that if I stayed in my dorm tonight, he’d throw my Xbox out the window,” he said, glancing over to the muscular guy that was watching Ethan talk to you.
“Ah, so you were threatened into being social,” you said, as he started to laugh.
“I guess you could say that. Do you want a drink?”
“Sure.”
Ethan wasn’t much of a drinker; you could tell by the sour look on his face every time he took a sip. It gave him a little confidence though, as the two of you talked and got to know each other a little better.
“I don’t think I can drink this anymore,” he said, sitting the cup down on a table. You sat yours down too, and as soon as you did, someone bumped into you, shoving you into Ethan.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” you said, looking up at him. Your chest was pressed closely against his, his hands on your hips from catching you.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “You can stay this close to me all night, if you want.”
“Are you always this smooth? Or is it the alcohol?” you questioned as he smirked at you.
“I’m only buzzed,” he said, before he leaned down, placing his lips on yours.
Chad was still watching Ethan from afar, cheering and thrusting his fist in the air once he saw Ethan kiss you. He started to laugh against your lips before he pulled away to stare daggers through his roommate for interrupting the moment.
“I can’t take him anywhere,” Ethan said, as you smiled at him.
“We could go somewhere more private,” you suggested, as he took your hand in his.
“Want to go back to my dorm? He’ll be here for a while so I know we can talk without being interrupted.”
“Sure!”
Once you made it back to Ethan’s dorm, you were starting to think that he really did just want to talk. You enjoyed listening to him, though. He was telling you about all his hobbies and interests, and you were telling him yours. You started to glance around his side of the dorm room, noticing the cliché, dorky things you’d expect to see.
“Nice Star Wars poster, nerd,” you joked, as he smirked at you.
“Oh, I’m a nerd?” he said, as he nudged you back on his bed. He was hovering over you, his mouth inches from yours. The sexual tension got so thick as his eyes looked into yours, his hand rubbing your hip.
“Mhm,” you said, the corner of your bottom lip in between your teeth. “A hot nerd.”
He felt his cheeks start to heat up, and he really didn’t want you to notice, so he leaned down to finally connect his lips to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more intense, his tongue brushing across your bottom lip. You let him deepen the kiss, his tongue moving with yours as his hands started to roam. You whimpered into the kiss once his hand squeezed your thigh, your hips started to squirm underneath him.
He pulled away but still stayed close so the two of you could catch your breath. You were reading each other’s faces, and it was obvious that you both wanted more.
“How far do you want this to go?” he asked, his breathing still heavy as his eyes looked into yours.
“As far as you want,” you said, your sweet tone making him groan.
“That’s not what I asked you,” he said, as he leaned back down to kiss your neck. His curls were tickling you, but the only reaction you had were the soft moans slipping past your lips from how well his mouth moved. His hips were rutting into yours, showing you how hard he was for you.
“I want you to fuck me,” you said, as he pulled away to look at you.
“You sure?”
“Mhm.”
Ethan was a little, well, very eager. He got you undressed in what felt like seconds, leaving you in just your panties. Once he stripped down to just his boxers, you got a little curious. You glanced down to see his hard cock straining against the fabric, and started to laugh to yourself, your gaze going to the ceiling.
“What’s funny?” he asked, as he hovered back over you to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your laughing stopped, a gasp slipping out when he started to suck. “I asked you a question,” he teased, before moving to the other side.
“She really does lie about everything,” you said, as his tongue swirled. “She said you had a small dick.”
He started to laugh against you, before he pulled back. “That’s funny, because she couldn’t take it.”
“I can,” you said, his smile turning to a smirk as his hand trailed down your body to rub you over your panties.
“We’ll see about that,” he said, as he moved lower down the bed to position himself between your thighs.
He slid your panties down your legs, before running his fingers over your wet pussy. Your eyes stayed on him, your bottom lip in between your teeth as he teased you. Your anticipation just kept building as he moved down the bed, positioning himself in between your thighs. He leaned in, slipping his tongue inside your entrance.
He was sloppily eating you out, his head moving from side to side. His arms hooked under your thighs to pull you as close to his face as he could as your hands went to his hair.
“So good,” you whimpered, your breathing getting faster as he worked you closer to your orgasm.
He slid his tongue out of you to focus on your clit, quickly replacing it with two of his fingers. Your back was arching off the bed as he moved his arm back and forth, applying as much pressure as he could to that spongy spot inside you as he sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves.
“You’re gonna make me cum,” you babbled, as he started to chuckle with your clit in his mouth.
That was all it took for your legs to start shaking and your grip on his hair getting even tighter. Once your pussy started to clench around him, he slowed his fingers to a slow roll, not wanting to overstimulate you. His tongue gently licked your clit as he worked you through it, your whimpers getting softer as you came down from your high.
“That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you admitted through your shaky breathing. Ethan started to laugh a little as you looked at him, your eyes hazy. “What?”
“Just wait until I’m inside you,” he cockily said, “You still confident that you can handle it?”
“I know I can,” you said, your legs instinctively spreading wide for him as his fingertips ran up your thigh.
“What are you going to do when no one else can make you feel as good as I do?” he questioned, as one of his fingers started to rub circles on your clit.
“I guess I’d have to keep you around then,” you said, as he shook his head.
“You’d only have me until summer starts,” he said, his finger moving faster. “I’m transferring to a different school after this year.”
“No, you’re not..fuck. I’ll convince you to stay,” you said, relaxing into the bed as he teased you.
Ethan pulled his hand away from your pussy before he slid his boxers off. He crawled back on top of you and reached over to his bedside table to grab a condom.
“I might let you convince me,” he said, as he lined up with your entrance. You tensed up a little because you knew how big he was. “Relax, baby.”
You did as he said, taking a deep breath as he inched his way inside of you. You were moaning as he stretched you out, and when you thought he was all the way in, he just kept going.
“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, feeling so full as he finally came to a stop, wanting to give you plenty of time to adjust. “Told you..Fuck, I told you I could take it,” you said, already struggling to speak.
“Don’t get cocky,” he said, your mouth falling open as he started to move. “I’m going to ruin this pussy.”
“Ruin it,” you said, challenging him as your lusty, hooded eyes connected with his.
It took everything in Ethan to not immediately start pounding into you, but he didn’t want to hurt you. He started slow, your eyebrows already furrowing together, low moans slipping past your lips. The head of his cock hit that special spot every single time, but you needed more. He sped up a little as your legs wrapped around him, your hands gripped tightly around his biceps.
“Maybe you can take it,” he said, his breathing getting heavier. “Can I go faster?”
“Yes,” you whimpered, as his hips moved quicker.
Your brain was starting to turn to mush, the babbles slipping past your lips making absolutely no sense. The only thing your mind could process in that moment was how good Ethan was making you feel. He thought you were adorable, already so cock drunk, and he wasn’t even close to being done with you yet. He kept his pace, but occasionally thrust a little harder to see if you could take it, the loud moans slipping past your lips as your nails started to dig into his arms letting him know that you could.
He angled your hips to go even deeper. His pace was a little slow as he made sure you were okay. Your eyes were pleading with him to go faster, because you knew the words weren’t going to come out of your mouth. It was getting so hard for him to hold back, so he finally let go. He started to pound into you so hard that your skin was tingling, all the nerves in your body on edge. Your toes were curling as he slammed into your g-spot, your whimpers turning to cries as you felt your orgasm starting to build. It was hard for you to keep your eyes open, and you were sure Ethan was going to have your nail marks on his arms forever with how hard you were squeezing him.
“Fuck,” was the only word you were able to get out, your legs wrapping tightly around him as your body started to involuntarily jolt. Ethan was sure that everyone in the surrounding dorm rooms knew what was happening, because you were being so loud. He wasn’t letting up though. He loved that he was making you feel that good.
It only took a few more deep thrusts before your entire body started to tremble, loud whines flooding out of your mouth as the wave of euphoria washed over you. He chased his own orgasm as he fucked you through it, your pussy clenching him so tight that he was moaning himself.
“I’m almost there, baby,” he said, a slight rasp in his voice from all the panting he’d been doing.
You went limp, your grip on his arms and your legs around his waist relaxing as his hips started to falter, a loud groan slipping past his lips as he released into the condom.
He took a minute to catch his breath before he slid out of you. His abs were burning and his arms were sore from your nails, but he quickly got up to take the condom off so he could take care of you.
He crawled in the bed next to you as you adjusted to lay your head on his chest, still so fucked out that it was hard to process your thoughts. Ethan just held you close, his hands softly rubbing over your bare back as you relaxed into his touches.
“You’re okay, right?” he asked, after a few minutes of you not saying anything. You lazily nodded as your hand moved to rub across his chest.
You laid there in silence as you started to think about what’d just happened. You knew your friend was going to be pissed if she ever found out, but did that even matter? She made almost the entire university hate Ethan for things he never did, and it made you sad that he felt like he needed to switch to a different school so he wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.
“So…” you finally said, “How can I convince you to stay?”
He let out a nervous laugh, not knowing the best way to respond. “I can’t take people talking about me the way they do anymore.”
“Even if I convince everyone that it was all lies?” you questioned, your tone playful as you angled your head to look at him. “I think it’d be awful for you to leave because of her. You could miss out on someone that would treat you right.”
“Someone like you?” he questioned as he looked down at you. You nodded, before he leaned down to kiss you. “You’re good at this whole convincing thing.”
“Does that mean you’ll stay?” you asked, smiling as you sat up to look at him.
“Yeah, as long as you don’t break my heart,” he said, wrapping his arms around you to pull you back down to his chest.
“I won’t.”
You stayed in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours, making plans for all the dates he wanted to take you on. It felt like you’d known him for way longer than just a few days, the two of you having an instant connection. You hated to pull away from him, but you knew you needed to get dressed before his roommate got home.
“It’s late, can I walk you back to your dorm?” he asked, as he started to put his clothes back on.
“I can’t believe I thought you were this horrible monster. You’re so sweet,” you said, as he smiled at you. “Yeah, you can walk me home.”
Ethan walked you to the front door of your building, pulling you into a gentle kiss before he pulled away.
“I’ll text you,” he said, as he started to back away.
“Yeah, let me know when you make it back to your dorm, please,” you said, as he nodded.
When you made it upstairs and got settled into your bed, you heard your phone vibrate as it charged on your bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a goodnight message from Ethan, a huge smile on your face as you responded to him. You were so exhausted from the time you’d spend with him, and you soon felt yourself start to doze off. You heard your phone buzz again, your eyes lazily opening to see if it was Ethan. You took a deep breath once you read the message that was sent to you.
‘Why the fuck were you kissing Ethan at that party?’
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American Teenager
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
—-
synopsis: you get caught in the crossfire of clarisse’s anger, and have to convince clarisse you love every part of her.
a/n: i took over a year off, cut you bitches some slack…… TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND… SHE’S BAAAAAACKKKK!!!!!!!!!
for those who do not know, i changed my theme. yes it is me. do you like it 😀
American Teenager - Ethel Cain
warnings: NOT BETA READ!!!, ending sucks yet again but i cant be bothered, y/n gets PUNCHED!!!!!!, creepy men, violence, very sad clarisse, IT IS VERY HARD FOR HER TO TALK ABOUT HER FEELINGS BUT SHE TRIES, swearing, usual demigod stuff, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
Clarisse is angry.
She has been angry all of her life, you know that. She was born with a fire in her veins that came straight from her godly father, potent and rolling around inside of her like a storm, a rabid dog biting at a cage, and nurtured over the years by a stern mother.
Clarisse was a recipe for destruction, for pain, for suffering. That’s what most people thought she was. They all thought she was her father’s daughter- full of fire, and she would never be anything else except the mean bully all the campers had grown to somewhat resent.
But she was more than that. She was your girl, she was everything you wanted and had prayed for years for. You knew she was angry, you knew she carried regret in her heart, you knew she ate up anything nice inside of her long ago.
But you didn’t care.
You gave her some of your own softness, your own nicety, drew it out of her with soft touches and sweet words, until she learned to love you and believed that she was the girl you always saw hidden inside.
Clarisse is angry.
You know that, you know the harsh girl you fell in love with, and you know the sweet girl she really is.
So, it’s no surprise to you that Clarisse has spent the entire afternoon glued to your side, glaring at anyone who walks by- but particularly her brother, Caden.
Caden has some sort of inferiority complex coupled with extreme sexism. He couldn’t stand the fact Clarisse was better than him, that she was the camp counselor instead of him. She had received her beloved spear from their father, he had no gifts to show.
Somewhere in his fucked up head he realized he couldn’t force his father to notice him, couldn’t uproot Clarisse from her counselor position, and though the next best thing was to go after you.
It started with glances that lasted too long, then subtle touches during camp activities, then actively flirting with you when Clarisse wasn’t around.
The only reason Caden had been allowed to this for this long was because you didn’t want to tell Clarisse and be responsible for what could very possibly be Caden’s death. You felt dirty, having his hands on you, barely-hidden sexual remarks whispered in your ear, his eyes on you- practically undressing you.
Clarisse would kill him if she knows what he’s done, how it makes you feel. And you really don’t want blood on your hands, so you avoid him as much as possible and attach yourself to Clarisse.
It’s a rare afternoon that you both have free, and it’s snatched with greedy hands and stretched out long like molasses, the two of you move slow and leisurely, try to sink into this time together.
You promised your sister you would help with the arts and crafts class she runs, spewing something about how you’re the best at making friendships bracelets- but really, her usual partner is on a quest and taking care of the rowdy 12 year olds is not an individual task.
So, here you are, sitting at a picnic table and making sample bracelets, feeling the sun on your face and Clarisse’s arms around you. She sits sideways, her front pressed against your side, straddling the bench. She watches the way the sun hits your face, the way your fingers move swiftly as you continue to bead and tie together.
There’s been this pit in your stomach since Caden started his advances- like a new organ had formed inside of you, pure black instead of a usual pink flesh. A physical form of all your guilt and disgust, filled with the dirt like you felt like.
It’s still there, even through the gaps of hot sunlight, the cooling shade of the tree above, but it’s easier to ignore when Clarisse is there. It’s easier to ignore, but it’s still there.
“I don’t understand how you’re so good at those,” Clarisse mumbles. She kisses your shoulder and you dig your feet into the dirt, smiling to yourself.
“I don’t either,” you smile. “What can I say? I’m the queen of friendship bracelets.”
“Ha,” she says, somewhat sarcastically, but you can hear the fond, loving smile in her voice. “How much longer?” she asks.
“Two more. Maybe 10 more minutes?”
“Okay,” she hums, drawing out the word. “Wanna get somethin’ to eat after this?”
“Yeah,” you say, looking away from the bracelets for just a second- to admire her like she gets to admire you.
“Nah, nah, you better finish those bracelets so I can have all your attention on me again.” She presses her face against yours, pushing you to face forward again and focus.
She departs with a kiss to corner of your lips, and you wonder if you really need all six example bracelets, but you know your sister would kill you if you didn’t show up tomorrow with six. You sigh and turn back to your bracelets, listening to the sweet sound of Clarisse laughing.
“Okay,” she says, leaning closer to you after a minute. “I’ll be back in a few, okay? I’m just gonna go change into shorts.”
“Okay,” you smile, and she squeezes your waist as she stands up. The feeling inside of you sinks in even more, the blackness in your stomach, but you focus on the feeling of the sun and her promise that she’ll come back soon.
“First time I’ve seen you alone in weeks.”
Your stomach sinks.
You’re a demigod and you deal with monsters and the whims of gods daily- but there’s something about humans, about demigods that makes you especially scared.
A step below a God, filled with resentment and blessed with superhuman abilities.
You’re not sure you’ve ever felt fear like this.
You glance up at him, quickly gathering all your bracelet supplies, shoving it into the pockets of your jeans without much care.
You force a smile, pretend like nothing’s wrong.
“Sorry,” you say. “I’m just leaving. Nice seeing you, Caden!”
“Why you leavin’ so quick, baby?”
“Meeting Clarisse,” you smile through gritted teeth.
“Well, I just saw my sister walk away so… are you lying to me, Y/N?” he laughs slightly, almost as if the idea of you not being completely observing of his will is unheard of, laughable.
“Yeah, I was just finishing up.” You shove a pile of beads into your pocket, moving for the next one-
His hand covers yours.
“You don’t look done. Sit down, huh?”
You glance around the courtyard, not even bothering to hide your fear like you were taught- at the sight of him, his tall stature, the fact he could easily overpower you- you forget everything you ever learned and turn into a puddle of fear. You’re fucking terrified, and it would be humiliating if it wasn’t just the most basic human tendencies preserving in you.
You can’t be embarrassed about biology, about what your human body was designed to do. At the end of the day, your blood is red- not gold.
“No, no, I really gotta go.” You rip your hand away, mourning the loss of a few beads that didn’t quite escape with you. Instead of dwelling on that, you quickly turn around and head towards the main pavilion, where there are more campers- maybe you can find Matty or Carrie, another one of Clarisse’s siblings who would just get him off your back.
But, he follows. Of course he follows. He’s a man who’s never been told no, and he won’t be refused by you.
“Y/N,” he drawls, voice still teasing.
You clench your fists and walk faster, finally risking a glance over your shoulder- you slam into a familiar warm body you have spent countless nights with, now wearing a pair of jean shorts.
One hand swings around your waist, the other sits over her hip- where her favorite dagger is hidden.
“Y/N?” she asks, not taking her eyes off of Caden, but her voice is soft and full of concern.
“Nothing, Clar. It’s fine, let’s just go, yeah?”
She looks at you for just a second, and you haven’t had time to school your features back into a flat facade, so there’s still fear all over your face.
“What the fuck did you do, Caden?”
“Just tryin’ to spend time with Y/N. That a crime?”
He avoids calling you her girlfriend, even though that’s how most of the Ares cabin has come to know you.
“Yeah,” she says, slightly incredulously. “You hit your head too hard? She’s my fuckin’ girlfriend. I don’t know what you did, but don’t do it again.”
It’s like a sixth sense, the way you feel his eyes rake down your body, lingering on your ass. The blackness inside of you squeezes, and you feel the sudden urge to throw up, squeezing your eyes shut-
Clarisse tugs you behind her.
“Don’t fucking look at her, Caden.”
Her voice is level in barely-masked rage, and it honestly would scare you a little bit- if it wasn’t for the way her hand caressed your hip so softly.
“I’m not hurtin’ anyone. She probably likes it, huh?”
You wonder if he genuinely thinks he’s flirting with you, or just trying to piss Clarisse off.
Her jaw clenches.
“Four weeks laundry duty.”
His smile drops.
“Don’t fucking test me, Caden.”
You’re silently surprised at her strength, so you quickly grab her hand and squeeze, trying to urge her forward. Your stomach feels lighter, hoping that maybe- finally, finally he’ll leave you alone-
“Really, Clarisse?” The edge of desperation in his tone is pathetic. “You’re gonna choose her over your own half-brother. We both know who’d she choose between the two of us though, huh? The stronger one. The better one. She’d choose the son.”
She drops your hand and spins around.
“Clarisse,” you warn. “Clarisse.”
But she seems to be lost in her own world, where everything narrows down to him and the cocky look on his face, memory of his words, and you know any trace of your sweet girl is gone and it’s just the anger.
You quickly push yourself in between them, putting your hands out to Clarisse- you feel sort of stupid, but you’re desperate for her to just turn around, to take you with her, for the two of you to do like she said and get something to eat. You want to eat by the beach with her, you want to feel her in the sun, you wanna let yourself believe that four weeks of laundry duty will deter him.
“Y/N,” she says, warning you, and you know she won’t stop.
“Clarisse, I’m telling you, turn around. He’s not worth it.”
You can hear his smile.
“You won’t be saying that when I finally get my hands on you, baby.”
Fuck.
“Clarisse!” you shout, knowing its coming- she aims around you, pushing you out of the way as she sets a deadly punch on path with his face.
But it doesn’t hit him. It doesn’t hit him, and he gasps in shock before quickly running away, not wanting to deal with the consequences of his actions.
And you can’t blame him, because with your knees on the ground and the sting of Clarisse’s fist on your cheek- you should have just let her fucking kill him.
—-
Clarisse hasn’t looked at you in two weeks.
After you fell to the ground, completely disoriented by her punch, you remember the sound of her screaming and Caden laughing as he ran away. You remember her hands shaking as she helped you up, touching you as little as possible, staring at her now red knuckles.
Although you really didn’t have to, she led you to the healers, and one of the Apollo kids looked at your swelling eye, gave you something for the pain, and said you could leave.
And then, she made sure you got home safe to your cabin and hasn’t looked at you again.
In hindsight, knowing that that was the end of the relationship you used to have, it feels like a bad goodbye for something so good. You can’t even call it a goodbye, because it wasn’t good at all. There should have been something. Something more.
You remember the way Clarisse couldn’t stop staring at her bruised knuckles, you remember the way she couldn’t look you in your eyes, couldn’t touch you- wouldn’t allow herself to touch you.
That night, the relationship you had with Clarisse ended. But, you were still as in love with her as ever, you didn’t blame her for simply trying to protect you- you were the person who stepped in front of her. One second you weren’t there, the next you were. She didn’t have time to pull her punch, she didn’t have time to aim somewhere else- you don’t blame her.
You remember her saying she was sorry as she helped you to the healers. Sorry, over and over again. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, baby, Y/N, sweetheart, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. You almost asked her to stop saying it, because the word was starting to sound weird. You almost told her it was unnecessary-because it was- but you didn’t get the chance. She made sure you got home safe to your cabin. She said she was sorry again, and then two weeks of torture commenced.
And you’re fucking sick of it. Sick of her acting like a coward, running away instead of owning up to the consequences of her actions- you aren’t mad at her for punching you. You never were.
You’re mad at her for leaving you in the days after, the nights where you couldn’t sleep on your favorite side because of the bruise. The nights where you would yawn and tears would well in your eyes, and it burned as it rolled down the sensitive skin. The nights where you would forget, and you would expect her to crawl into your bed like usual- but you would fall asleep alone and wake up alone.
You’re mad at her for abandoning you, for refusing to talk to you, to figure it out. Because while what you had before is gone, you can still have something new.
“Are we sure this is a good idea?” your friend Tyla asks.
“Yeah,” Jackie, your other friend, continues. “Like, she did literally punch you in the fucking face- are we sure that’s not some sort of subconscious thing?”
She shrinks at the harsh glares you and Tyla give her.
“Okay. That was mean,” she says, softly. “Sorry.”
You roll your eyes and continue walking towards the training fields, where you know the entire Ares cabin is practicing hand-to-hand skills.
“I told you,” you huff. “She was trying to protect me from Caden. She loves me, she’s just angry. Angry at herself, but she shouldn’t be.”
“What even happened to Caden?” Tyla asks, noses scrunching at the fact she has to even say his name. “I mean, I saw him walking around with that broken face but-”
“Clarisse!”
You look up to the top of the small hill, the plateau where the sparring rings are marked into the grass by eco-friendly spray paint.
She’s holding one of her siblings down, her knee on his back, her hands holding his arms behind his back.
“Stop! I tap out, I tap out, Clarisse!” The boy screams. She smiles softly before letting him go and standing up.
He lays face down on the ground for a minute, breathing heavily before he finally picks himself up- staring at Clarisse’s offered hand. After a moment, he takes it and lets her tug him up. He nods at her and walks away to his friends, moaning about his arms and his back.
Clarisse shakes out her hands and looks around, but she knows no one wants to spar with her after that, even thought even from here you can see the fire in her veins. The need for a fight, for something to distract her. The need for movement, hard and fast. The need for anger to be the only thing she can feel.
“Me next?”
“Y/N,” Tyla hisses, and Jackie reaches out to grab you but you merely shake her off.
Clarisse’s eyes lock with yours.
It takes you a second to recognize the emotion in her eyes. Her body tenses up, she seems frozen in place like a deer in headlights. She’s scared.
“Clar,” you smile, meeting her in the circle.
She tears her eyes away from you, choosing instead to stare at the grass.
“I’m not fighting you. Go.”
“I’m not asking you to fight me,” you smile. “I’m asking you to spar with me.”
She rolls her eyes.
“I’m not sparring with you.”
It’s so tense, no matter how much you try to make it like before, no matter how much you smile and try to look in her eyes.
“Can I talk with you, then?”
You shuffle closer, and she doesn’t move.
“Y/N,” she sighs. She looks up at you, but you can tell she’s staring right past you, towards the tree line. “Please don’t make me do this.”
“Do what?” you snort. “Face your feelings? Let me help you?”
Her face is level, almost bored. She turns her face into a facade, a mask of nothingness. She won’t let you in, not now, and it makes you angry.
You would take anything from her right now.
You want her to hate you. You want her to love you. You want everything and anything.
You would take another punch, as long as you got to feel her skin on yours for a split second.
You dig your foot into the ground and glare at her.
“Clarisse. I’m serious, I want to talk to you.”
Her eyes meet yours for a split second, before she’s moving.
“Too bad. Forget me,” she says over her shoulder.
She fucks up and she runs away.
“Clarisse!” you shout, following her out of the training field, out of view from the eyes that were trying and failing not to look at the two of you. “You can’t leave me here. You can’t just pretend like the last year we’ve been together didn’t happen.”
“It’s better that way,” she sighs, like she’s doing you some big favor by staying away from you, when all she’s doing is hurting you.
“It’s not!” you shout, finally surging forward and grabbing her wrist-
She whips around and tugs her wrist out of your grip.
You don’t think she’s ever once refused your touch.
It burns. It burns in your heart so badly, burns worse than any regret you could ever feel.
“Don’t,” she says, like she’s warning you. “I’m- I’m trying to protect you, okay? Just- stop bein’ fuckin’ stubborn.”
You take a dejected step back, even though all you want to do is run into her arms.
“I don’t get it,” she continues, folding her hands behind her back. Her eyes finally land on the faded bruise. “Why don’t you hate me?”
The heartbreak in her voice hurts more than the punch, than the nights without her.
“Because I love you, Clar. I don’t care about what happened, it was an accident- you’re the only one who can’t see that.”
“I hurt you.”
“The only thing that hurts is you being away from me.”
“Nah,” she says, taking a step back. She shakes her head, staring at your eye before finally turning away. “I’m only anger, Y/N. I’ll only hurt you. And I can’t take hurting you again.”
The feeling of staring at her back, the sound of her footsteps crunching in the leaves, hurts so bad it creates another new organ in your body.
This time, it’s like a tumor growing from your heart, encasing it so every beat is a struggle, every breath is ragged. This new organ carries your heartbreak, and it grows bigger by the second.
—-
It’s starting to feel like Clarisse is never going to even look at you again.
Even when you look straight at her from across the pavilion, she doesn’t look back. You stare at her back all day. The memory of her walking away from you replays in your mind every time you close your eyes.
You wonder, when it’s just you in your lonely bed, if Clarisse isn’t angry but rather scared. She’s angry at herself for hurting you, yes, but she’s terrified she’ll do it again. And you know Clarisse rarely feels fear, and you want nothing more but to help her navigate these unknown feelings- but she won’t let you in.
You don’t know how to let her help you, but you give her time. You stare at her when you hope she isn’t looking, you wrap your arms around yourself and pretend it’s her, you dream of her lips and the way she holds you, the way she loves you.
Clarisse took you to the docks for one of your dates. The fourth? The fifth? Somewhere around there, but it was the first time you kissed. Both of you had realized that you liked each other but agreed to take it slow, but you’d never forget the way she looked at you after you put the flower she brought you into your hair. The way she looked at you when you let your feet hang over the edge, kicking the water. The way your thigh pressed against hers, ankles hooked together.
You’ll never forget the way you looked up at her after dipping your fingers into the cool water, the control and self restraint finally leaving her eyes, her body, as her face sunk into a wide smile and she slammed her lips into yours.
The dock is sacred to the two of you, so when you’re missing her, especially during this sunset, this is where you go.
And it’s perfect. It’s so perfect you can almost convince yourself she’s here with you.
Except, if she was here with you, there wouldn’t be this tumor on your heart.
At the sound of his voice, the other organ your emotions have formed twists.
“This wasn’t my plan, y’know.”
“Go away, Caden,” you moan. Is it a crime to want to wallow in your own self pity? It is a crime to want the black organs inside of you to swallow you whole?
“I just wanted to knock Clarisse down a few pegs, and I certainly did that. Paid the price, too, you seen my fuckin’ face?”
It looks as horrible as it always does, you think, but you bite your tongue.
“I wanna be alone, Caden. Please.” You bite the word out like you’re a hyena choking on a laugh.
“But, c’mon.”
He steps closer to you, until you can feel him looming over you, tips of his sneakers pressing into your ass, he’s so close to you. You kick the water, annoyed, but he either doesn’t get the hint or ignores it.
“I’m not that bad, am I? Do me a favor, baby, let me cart you around for a few days and make her miserable.”
You’re about to just get up and leave all together when the sound of someone stepping onto the dock surprises you.
“Get away from her.”
But there’s something unspoken in the air. You’re just “her” now- not “my girlfriend” not “her’s.”
“Why are you always fuckin’ bothering me, Clarisse?”
You turn around. She smiles sarcastically.
“Why are you always fuckin’ bothering Y/N?”
“I’m not botherin’ her though, huh?”
He reaches down to grab at a piece of your hair, running it in between his fingers.
You flinch, but you’re more focused on the way Clarisse’s fists clench, her jaw ticks.
“Caden,” you sigh, batting his hand away.
“Seems like a pretty clear no to me, huh?”
Caden sighs and straightens, letting your hair fall from his fingers.
“What are you going to do about it, Clarisse? You gonna try and punch me- again? Try to hit the right person this time, huh?”
“Go fuck yourself, Caden.” She finally, finally, looks at you. You feel blessed and divine, like she’s a goddess who’s taken the time to merely look at you. “C’mon, Y/N.”
You scramble up to follow her beckoning hand at the same time Caden shifts on his feet.
He knocks into you, and you’re on the edge of the dock, and you scream as you fall in.
The water wasn’t that deep, but it was cold and embarrassing, and you fell at an awkward angle.
You surface, paddling to keep yourself afloat, coughing water out of your mouth and glaring up at him.
“Shit,” he swears, quickly running down the dock before you can shout some curse on his entire bloodline.
“Y/N?!” Clarisse shouts, panic on her face falling immediately at the sight of you afloat. She breathes out, fixing her hair that got all moved around in her frantic sprint down the dock. “You good?”
“Does it look like I’m good?” you deadpan.
She smiles.
“C’mon, come around to the ladder.”
She smiles as she helps you up, wrapping an arm around you even though you’re soaking wet, and you’re so mesmerized at the sight of her smiling, the feeling of her smiling at you that you can’t even comprehend it.
She has her arm wrapped around you.
She’s touching you.
Gods, did you miss this.
“Cold?” she asks, your hips pressed together as you walk down the dock.
“Yeah,” you whisper, feeling how warm she is against you. “I’ll be okay, though.”
“How long has he been… doing that?”
Your eyes meet hers.
“Jackie and Tyla told me- yelled at me, really- after they cornered me the other day. They said you were really fucked up about everything, and I should talk to you and I- I don’t know. I thought staying away was for the best.”
You cringe at the memory from a few nights ago, when you finally broke down and cried like a baby in front of your friends because of how much you missed her.
“And I saw you at the dock, and then fuckin’ Caden got over here before I could,” she laughs, dryly. “Whatever. I’ll walk you back-”
“Will you talk to me, Clar?”
You both stop, beachy sand sticks to your wet shoes, and Clarisse nervously looks away before you prod.
“I’m not mad at you. And I know you’re mad at yourself, and scared-”
She scoffs, but it’s halfhearted.
“But I love you, Clarisse. I love you, and I don’t blame you. Don’t blame yourself, and love me.”
In the sunlight, you can still see the remnants of the bruise. Softly, she reaches out and traces her pointer finger around your eye.
Her touch is so soft, the pad of her finger so rough- that sweet juxtaposition with her has always made your mind fuzzy. She makes all the tension in your body melt away. She makes everything better.
She swallows hard.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes, tears welling in her eyes. “I know I’ve said it so much, but I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to hit you, I swear on my father-”
Her voice chokes up, and you can tell she hates the fact she’s crying, so you draw her into your neck and let her hide away there. Running your hands through her hair, telling her it’s okay each time she apologizes.
“I know who you are,” you say when the tears have stopped, and you’re just relishing being in each other’s arms again. “I know who I fell in love with, and I know who you are. You’re angry and you’re sweet, you’re mean and you’re kind, and I love all of it. Don’t doubt that, please.”
She breathes out before leaving the comfort of your neck, putting her shaky hands on your face.
“I love all of you,” you repeat.
She smiles softly.
“I love all of you.”
She kisses your eye softly, literally almost like a butterfly landing on your eyelid, unable to not whisper one more apology against your skin.
You roll your eyes, smiling to match her.
“And don’t think I’d leave you over one mistake, seriously, La Rue. You insult me.”
She rolls her eyes too, thumb stroking your cheek.
“Oh, forgive me,” she teases.
“You’re already forgiven,” you smile, eyes traveling down to the lips you’ve been dreaming about. “But kiss me to make sure.”
—-
“-and he would just look at me all the time. That was the creepiest part, I think. Like, okay, he would feel up on me sometimes, but whatever. I could avoid him. At meals I would just be minding my business and he would be staring at me. More just annoying, you know? And, yeah. That made me feel horrible, like literally sick. I just felt so dirty, so fucked up- Clar?”
You watch as she stares up at the ceiling, cracking her knuckles.
“Clarisse,” you scold.
You shift from your stomach to your side, head propped up so you can properly look at her. Your bed is full and warm now that she’s here.
“Oh, no, keep goin’, baby.”
“Do not kill him. Do not hurt him. I told you, I don’t want that on my conscience.”
“Nah, I know, sweetheart. I’m just thinking about it, don’t take that away from me, huh?”
You roll your eyes, but a smile crosses its way onto your face. She smiles back, and it just feels so surreal, so different- but exactly like it’s supposed to be. You know Clarisse is angry, but you know she’s sweet too. Clarisse knows you love all of her.
She draws you to lay on her chest, hand in your hair, the other slipping under your shirt to scratch your back.
“I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me,” she whispers. “That’s the worst thing. You were dealing with all this alone- and I had no fucking idea.”
“Yeah. ‘Cause being with you made it better, of course you didn’t notice.”
She kisses your forehead. “You’re too sweet, baby.”
You smile and kiss her chest.
“I’m only not killing him ‘cause you asked, I hope you know that. If it was up to me, he’d be dead.”
“Oh, baby, I know lots of other ways we can channel that emotion.”
You glance up at her and she searches your eyes before promptly throwing you to the side and climbing on top of you.
Yeah, Clarisse is angry. But you love her angry.
—-
clarisse staring at her hands like they’re covered in blood: oh gods… oh gods what have i done. what have i done (again that picture of ivan the terrible holding his d3ad son)
y/n: ouch! ok anyways- girl you did not kill me calm down.
—-
caden trying not to die after clarisse inconveniences him for the sixth time today… hides his favorite sword, permanently sticks him on laundry duty, puts literal “kick me” signs on his back, puts holes in his favorite clothes…
—-
y/n is that one song that goes “FUCK ME LIKE YOU MAD AT ME BABY I NEED A FREAK TO DRIVE ME CRAZZYYYYY”
…and she’s so real for that.
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1 @maxlynn17
@thewritingbarbie
—-
from this ask
#clarisse la rue#clarisse la rue x reader#clarisse la rue x y/n#clarisse la rue x you#pjo tv show#pjo x reader
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