#i cant believe im saying this but. im desperately waiting for University to start again

[birdyverdie]

My mood dipped so low ever since they came back

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

[heyitsyn]

The Past It Will Remain

Side Story!Oikawa Angst - Before ‘Enough’/ Before Making Up

a/n: dklsfjsldfkjsd yes we have a mona x seijoh manager really short story right now and uwuwuwu dont get confused you guys!!! this is an x reader so youre still y/n so im just going to give the current seijoh first year manager a name to avoid confusion :’) 

so yall remember that oc @animesportboys​ made right? so im using her for today so manager-chan’s name is naoki :’)

okay? okay

and lets pretend nao joined before the practice match bc i mentioned in kuws ep 2 she joined later but in this one, she joined earlier on

and kunimi!sister!reader doesnt exist in this one

YALL IM UNKNOWINGLY CREATING A UNIVERSE WAIT A MINUTE I NEED TO FIGURE THIS OUT

request:

- WAIT OMG i need a side story to the oikawa angst,,, set after the practice match,, the reader getting jealous of seijoh's manager because everyone can tell that the team is in love with their manager,,, and reader feels so down especially with how oikawa and iwa seem to be all over seijoh manager-chan -- chi ☆

for the “jealous of oikawa and manager chan” request with y/n (mona) it’s set before they get back together!! — chi ☆

okayokayokay lets start

so as seen in the top this is a side story so this is kinda a filler of what happened during that big gap before they made up

so lets bring a bit of background into this

oikawa’s knee was perfectly fine earlier that day

like the mans was able to do serves and sets and jump no problem

but buckle to the knee and he came crashing down to the ground

ofc nao, our lovely babie manager, was worried as hell so she sent him to the infirmary to get checked out

‘eieiei~~ nao-chan, oikawa-san is fine-’

‘i swear to god oikawa-san if i hear ‘fine’ out of your mouth again i will show this cotton ball in your nose’

dksljfdlks chile what

‘oikawa-san is okay then-’

*cue nao shoving two cotton balls in his nostrils*

and as much as she wanted to stay and make sure he stays resting, the team needed her so she went back to the gym

poor oikawa was now in the empty nurse room and he finally was able to freely cry

it hurt like an actual biatch and he was even amazed he was able to hold the pain in for so long

our mans is so strong like what the heck :’(

and the pain only added when he saw you

oikawa wanted to go back to the gym so he ventured out of the room and into the hallway only to see you and some gray-haired guy

your hair was tucked behind your ear as you filled the bottle so he was able to see the side of your face clearly

god you are so beautiful

and he cant believe he let you go

his shock came out of his mouth as a breathless call for your name made you turn around and notice his presence

but the real pain settled in when you claimed to not know him anymore

was that it?

nearly 15 years of friendship gone?

‘not anymore’

bullshit

oikawa’s eyes shook and his hands trembled as the all-familiar feeling of intense fear appeared

as if that sentence was the last confirmation that you no longer wanted him

you no longer needed him

you were saying your farewells

he didnt even notice you leave with the karasuno player as his feet stayed planted on the floor and refusing to move

his breathing started to get heavy and he tried to take a step but a dull aching pain sent him falling to the ground

a silent cry of pain was the only thing that came out of him not from his knee, 

but from a broken heart

when you found him down that hallway later, he was already dried up with tears

shrivelled and curled up into a ball of loneliness only to intensify the pain at your last goodbye

as you walked away, you clenched your fist at his quiet whimpers, pleads for you not to leave

but you knew you deserved better

you knew your worth and he was not it

DKSLFJDKJSFLDKF BRO I DONT REALLY KNOW EITHER BC HE HIT ME BUT THEN HES OIKAWA YANNO? LIKE IM SO CONFLICTED I HATE IT HERE

yet why did it hurt so much when you saw him and that girl interacting

you were in the gym, tending to the players, when you saw him walk in with an unknown girl by his arm

were his cries all a lie?

an act?

his desperate actions of wanting you back only to turn around and hold another girl?

you watched as the girl glared at him and scolded him while he laughed and ruffled her hair

no

you should look away and not care

maybe he was right

but he was also wrong

it wasnt him just being unfair

it was you too

the entire match, you watched as the entire seijoh team, even kunimi and kindaichi, smother this girl with affection and love

‘aww~~~ y/n-chan is so sweet to makki-san~!’

‘our little wifey~!’

SKLDFJSKDLFJSDMATTSUN PLEASE STOP IT

hell even iwa was practically giving this girl heart eyes!

kageyama noticed your stare and he sighed, knowing you were probably sad and grovelling over her

‘y/n-san, that’s nao. koga naoki. she transferred over to kitaiichi in my second year. shes really nice and i guess she continued being a manager-’

you nodded, watching her

so she was your successor

your failure of finding one made you feel guilty for years but knowing this unnervingly nice and charming girl taking over settled it down

AND MY GOD WAS SHE SWEET

you struggled to hate her as she audibly chided oikawa over his knee

‘youre already hurt yet you continue to play! youre going to get hurt more! do you want to hurt more? bc i can hurt you more by kicking your knee! maybe that would make you sit down and rest then?!’

it was a spunk you saw in yourself from way back in the day

and the way she ran around to give everyone towels to wipe their sweat off and even doing it herself to other players

and she even cheered on karasuno!

DEAR ASAHI SHE WAS JUST PERFECT

there was no way you could hate her

even after the match, you watched as the girl approached takeda and your team

‘hello, i forgot to introduce myself. im koga naoki, first year manager of aoba johsai volleyball team. you played really well today and you guys are so talented and i hope-’

as she continued to talk, your eyes moved from her to the blue-shirted boys who were watching her with such pride and love

as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world

but that didnt matter to you

what really mattered was what he was doing

and with the way oikawa would look at her, watch her with love-filled eyes, there is definitely no hope anymore

the .5 percent of hope you didnt know you clung on finally slipped and you knew he loves her

maybe it should be time he and you moved on

it was all in the past and the past it will remain

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 9

back at it again, and its time for the shadowplay arc, HELL yeah

oh I'm so excited i love this arc lets DO this

oooh its nightbeat and quark!! way before they become relevant, which is so cool

‘one of those recepticon fanatics’ lmao imagine if they were...the recepticons. just doesn't have the same ring to it 

god i fucking love all the politics of mtmte. i love how they’re talking about the senate here before we really get to See how bad they were (we heard a bit about it from whirl a few issues ago, and now here)

love how nightbeat is pretty much agreeing with the decepticon ideology here, even if its clear that he isn't Actually a decepticon - it just drives home the fact that, in this story, The Decepticons Were Right About A Lot Of That Stuff (or at least, they had a reason other than ‘destruction’ for rebelling). 

AND THEN THERES RUNG!!!!!!! WITH HIS MODEL OF THE LOST LIGHT....god i fuckgin LOVE the continuity in this story bc the first time reading this ur like oh ok rung is old yea makes sense...but then later all the time travel stuff happens and then its like OHHHHH 

damn poor rung nightbeat can rlly tell he's lonely just by looking at him vbhjdkdfhbjsjkdf geez. also nightbeat that's ur mystery stick bf from the future js!!

quarks extreme POV on all of the stuff is so interesting, and makes so much sense bc of Course he would think that as a non-combatant scientist who, due to his functional value in current society, wouldn't really benefit much from a revolution - in fact, he’d probably lose a lot. and that’s the sort of thing where you’re like, ok well think about everyone else dude, have some perspective - but at the same time, quark did suffer a pretty terrible fate, so his fears weren't entirely unfounded...augh, its so fascinating...im sorry I'm not gonna shut up about space robot politics this Entire time

HOW did nobody notice that dead body before now

ratchet spray-painting the hands he stole from pharma to match his own paintjob is like...kinda gruesome if you think about it hvbhsjkdfbkjdf

i love rewind sooo much oh my god 

he rlly stashed rung’s comatose body in a wheelchair behind the bar hbkjdhfbshjkdf rewind 

rewind and chromedome’s tag-team explanation....ough hhhhh THEM 

wait a sec, rewind, you have medical records in your database? that is, at least according to regular medical laws, very illegal lmao. my favorite long-running theme in mtmte: the fact that hipaa and osha laws on cybertron are either basically nonexistent, or just universally disregarded 

what the actual fuck is up w/cybertronian time units. that shit is wack as hell 

ooh i love how chromedome looks different in the flashback - no shoulder tires! - that's a cool detail

how come prowl just said ‘minute,’ rewind was busting it up w/all the wack ass fantasy time units just a second ago. geez

also goddd i love the scenery of pre-war cybertron, its SUCH a cool setting like, visually and aesthetically and politically

like, i adore details like the sign in the bg that says ‘everyone’s shape serves a purpose.’ really adds to the ‘society on the precipice of civil war currently controlled by an increasingly-desperate faction who are doling out propaganda like crazy in an attempt to maintain their image and control over the populace’ vibe

good ole murder mystery setup. love it!

pre-war prowl is such an interesting character. actually prowl in general is such an interesting character...I kinda wrote him off during my first read of mtmte (and even a little during my second readthru) as just this dude who’s an asshole (espec bc my prev tf experience involved watching tfa as a kid, and this prowl is very different from tfa prowl lol)...but prowl is SUCH a multi-faceted and interesting character, even in the relatively little we see of him in mtmte 

plus it was interesting to learn later that prowl was one of the characters that jro wanted for mtmte and didn't get, and MAN i wish he got prowl bc I would've loved to see what jro would've done w/prowl on the lost light, that would've been amazing. like, just imagine the arc he would have...I have no idea what that arc would BE, but I know it would be awesome. plus I’d be really interested to see how prowl would factor in, relationships-wise, amongst the crew of the lost light. so much potential!

anyways. I'm in a very talky mood tonight it seems. its currently 4 am so that kinda explains it. ok, moving on!

chromedome and prowl bantering....in their own morbid forensic-cop way...

skids bvhjdbsfjasf. speaking what we’re all thinking: is prowl gonna keep showing up in mtmte despite not technically being part of the cast??

swerves drawing of prowl lmaoooo

AND THEN REWIND IN SOME OF MY FAVORITE MTMTE PANELS....fuckgin cracks me up every time god. rewind was rlly about to flip their entire ass table just to demonstrate that prowl is a serial table-flipper...and then he cant even make the table budge and he just stares at his hands like ‘how could you betray me like this’ hvbajkhhsfdhksdf PEAK hilarity

drift hvbshfdjbasdfj his forcibly cheery expression even tho he’s being harassed by rodimus, who is a big whiny toddler w/drift lmao 

rodimus is the type of guy who, upon drift not replying to one of his texts, would post a whole twitter thread being all like ‘these days u cant trust any1 to hav ur back...u think u kno someone and then they just ghost you...(1/14)’

again, rewind, HOW and WHY do you just Have medical reports, oh my god, somebody please call a hipaa agent I’m scared, 

ratchet interrupting the story to give a quick medical PSA....that's Such an on-brand thing for Me to do that I feel like jro is assigning me ratchet kin as I read this

also, hey, its sonic and boom, those two decepticons from delphi! nice little continuity there

AND HERES ORION PAX SUPER COP

can’t believe idw made my dad optimus prime into a cop. smh. shouldn't be that shocked tho, I feel like half the idw characters are cops

orion rlly hit them w/the omae wa mo shinderu arrest strat

orion: I cant believe you're beating this guy up. anyways, now I'm gonna beat YOU up,

when ratchet puts his hand over drifts mouth and then gets spray paint on drifts face bhjdfsvsdjhfgbjdskf

pre-war ratchet and drift ;_; ratchet’s little inspirational speech...the fact that he tells drift that he’s special...the fact that drift remembered all of this even after 4 million+ yrs...it gets me bro it GETS me

ALSO the layers in the fact that drift then goes on to become a well-known murderous decepticon...so this little scene of him and ratchet in the past gives a lot of context to ratchet’s general attitude towards drift - ratchet clearly feels at least somewhat responsible for all the blood on drift’s hands, since he saved drift’s life way back in the day

the whole relinquishment clinic thing is such cool worldbuilding, bc of course that's the kind of thing that would develop in a society of robot aliens who are only allowed to work within the rigid confines of their alt mode 

I love the whole matrix thing bc its kinda like being the pope or st but also you have a ton of political sway, so its a super important position, so of Course the corrupt senate would want full control over that power, and would assassinate the current prime to try to get their own guy in 

god vhbhjsdkbgshjdf rodimus is such a dick lmao poor drift

HHHHH I love that the cybertronian version of an autopsy is taking the dudes body apart into the smallest components and laying them all out. that's so fucking cool

hmmmm chromedome maybe you should Not be interested in mnemology, how about that,

oh god. time to start being sad about op and senator shockwave. oh god

senator shockwave more like senator sexy 

also the first time I read this I thought I had just missed his name and like halfway thru the story I went back and scoured the pages looking for it hbvhsjdfbshgfdsbj then I was like oh ok so we’re maybe supposed to just know who this guy is from another comic? but NOPE it was very deliberate and I only realized very close to the end that they were setting up some sort of reveal

its funny bc normally I'm not a huge fan of stories where politics play a huge role but I fuckgin love it here, the politics and worldbuilding is all so interesting and also balanced out with a healthy dose of cool sci-fi hijinks, so

lmao there's chromedome being obsessed w/people making the ‘pfft’ sound 

also wow yet more hindsight, maybe you Shouldn’t be so interested in the Institute, chromedome, 

OHHHH shit I forgot abt the red alert stuff happening at the same time as this :( :( :( 

AUGHHH what a fucked up situation. god 

oooof i gotta continue now!! what a solid issue, I love the shadowplay arc

[benexolence]

Holy (M)

Professor!Kim Namjoon x Student!Reader

little bit of Jungkook x Reader in the beginning though :-)

Word count: 7.7k

Rating = M

SUMMARY: You get yourself into gnarly trouble with the young professor that lives in your dreams, and you must help him with some grading as a punishment. Little did you know, he’s not the only one who’s willing to commit a misdeed that doesn’t necessarily align with your school’s faith.

Warnings: rough sex, spanking, sir kink, daddy kink, slight exhibitionism, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, fingering, cunnilingus, choking, dirty talk, straight fucking FILTH

A/N: plz don’t judge me as this is my first written smut, i triED my best, ok :<

**STB = BTS backwards. 

At the moment, it felt like a sauna to you. Inside the tiny space, the room was hot. The wall touching your back would feel the sheet of sweat that you’re currently covered in. It felt like there was barely any fresh oxygen in the room, it left you close to breathless. With the way Jungkook’s hands started sliding the underneath your uniform skirt almost left you breathless. The way his nails dug into the back of your thighs almost left you breathless. His open-mouth kisses all over your jawline were getting you close to your demise. But you were ultimately out of oxygen when his lips pressed right into the sweet spot of your neck; you reached your doom, but you couldn’t help but moan for more. His teeth grazed against the spot with desperation. All he wanted to do is wreck your body until you couldn’t decide if you needed more or if you couldn’t handle it anymore. 

“Tell me what you want, baby” Jungkook moved his lips to whisper in your ear, only to nibble at it. “Daddy will give you whatever you want.” Jungkook’s hands moved his hands from the thighs to your ass, only to squeeze it in his palms. One hand moved to your hips, wrapping his fingers around the band of your panties, pulling at it and letting the band snap back to your hips. “You just have to tell me, baby.” You squirmed in his arms, desperate for anything. You didn’t care about who it was and what they did, you just needed someone to give you something to satisfy this frustration that built in your stomach. You were desperate enough to let an infamous fuckboy touch your body in the janitor’s closet of your school.  “Please, Daddy, t-touch me.” He slips his fingers down to your panties to touch your folds. Jungkook groans into your neck, “God, you’re damn so wet, Y/N. Were you thinking about me all day? Thinking about my fingers in your fucking panties?” You whine at his touch, bucking your hips for more friction. But that wasn’t enough for him. “Come on Y/N, tell me what you need and Daddy will give it for you” Jungkook spoke into your neck. You can feel his lips smirking, but you knew that you had to give into that damn cocky attitude to get what you want, even if you didn’t actually want him. Lying was your only way to get to your high, and you could easily do it. It wasn’t a problem for you because it was just so easy to imagine Jungkook as the man who actually made you drenched, who made you this frustrated, but also the man who will get you to your high, even if it’s your imagination. “Daddy, I-I needed your fingers, please” You whined. Thank the lord that you didn’t have to say Jungkook’s name; it would’ve been harder to get through this. It’s not that Jungkook isn’t good-looking. He is wildly attractive and charming, but he isn’t who you actually wanted. Jungkook pulls down your panties, letting them fall to your feet. He starts sucking at the sweet spot in your neck while his middle finger moves to your entrance, teasing it by circling at the rim of your hole. His thumb presses lightly on your clit. You moan out loud, so loud that you quickly cover your mouth with your hand. You want to cry out and stick his fingers inside you. You don’t want to wait anymore. It’s getting too much for you. It feels so damn fucking good, but it’s just not enough. “Please, Daddy, p-please” You whine a bit more as you move your other hand to his pants, cupping his groin. You begin to lightly squeeze his balls, and you hear a loud throaty moan. “Fuck, I need you right now. You want me too, right baby?” Jungkook groans as he starts to dip the tip of his finger inside you and lightly moving his thumb on your clit. “Yes! Yes! Always Daddy, please!” You cry out for him. Thankfully, he gives into pleads and slowly slides his finger inside out you, causing your mouth gape out and your eyes slam shut. You moan louder than before as you felt your walls clenching around his finger. Fucking finally, you thought to yourself. He lets his finger stay still inside of you, feeling how turned on you are, “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re so tight. You’re so naughty, baby. Do you think my thick cock can fit inside you?” Bucking your hips again, you whine for any movement on his part. “Please Daddy, make it fi--” Your pleads were interrupted by a bright light hitting the both of you. Your eyes slowly open and move in the direction of the light, only to find the man who caused you such frustration. He’s standing there, holding what looks to be a briefcase in his hands. For a second, you thought that Jungkook was so good, he got you to hallucinate, but you only realize you’re wrong when he suddenly yanked his hands away from you. “What the hell is happening here? Get out of this damn closet right now!” The man puts his briefcase down and roughly pulls Jungkook out of the closet, and his eyes move directly back to you. He scans your entire body, only to have his eyes almost bulge out at the sight of your panty-covered feet. He quickly moves his eyes in a different direction. “Ms. Y/L/N, make yourself look decent and put your undergarments back on,” He says with a stern tone. Reality hits you like a train, and you feel yourself being washed in humiliation as you quickly put your panties back on, but there’s a side that feels utterly thrilled heated when you notice the man possibly looking at your figure from the corner of his eyes. But you quickly dismiss that feeling when you try to fix your disheveled state. There’s no way he was looking at me. He’d never do that, you thought to yourself. “I’m decent, Mr. Kim” you spoke softly as you walk out of the closet with your head down and hands interlocked together in front of you. He turns to you and moves Jungkook next to you. He looks at the both you and Jungkook in complete disappointment. He grabbed open his briefcase and took out the university’s official notepad with a pen. He writes on two pieces of paper before tearing it out and handing each paper to both you and Jungkook. “I want both you and Jungkook in my office after you both confess your sins in the chapel. Immediately. I do not want to even look at both of you after what I just witnessed. Both of you must have the priest sign the paper with a timestamp after you are done, so I need that paper so I know that the both of you don’t continue this distasteful act.” “Namjoon Hyung, I’m sorr-” Jungkook tried to plead his way out of punishment before he got cut off. “Mr. Jeon, don’t you dare talk to me so casually after what you just did. Do it again, and I’ll make it worse for you. I might be a few years older than you but don’t ever forget that I am your elder and your professor, you must respect that, especially now.” Namjoon scolded Jungkook sternly. But even though you were witnessing a scolding, you couldn’t help but feel the frustration coming back. It was the way Namjoon talked to Jungkook, the anger and aggression in his tone; you felt the strength in your knees draining. Namjoon turned to you with the irritation heavy in his eyes, and you gazed your head up towards him. He spoke to you with a softer yet stern tone. “As for you, Ms. Y/L/N, I suggest you go down to the nurse’s office and change into a new uniform. You should also fix yourself up before going to the chapel. You must timestamp your visit to the nurse’s office as well.” Namjoon looked straight into your eyes after his spoke words and repeat his actions before, scanning your body with an intense glare. You quickly move your gaze back to the ground, unable about to look at him directly with the embarrassment and unintentional arousal flooding your body. You can’t control how you feel when he is around, and it’s so goddamn frustrating. “Yes, sir. I will do so.” You shyly utter the words, it was almost a miracle that he actually could hear you. But you can’t help but notice the subtle shudder of Namjoon’s body after you spoke. It was undetectable, faint. Jungkook was unaware of such a move, but you saw it. You’d bet money that if there were anyone else around you, they wouldn’t notice either. You wonder if he felt cold or if it was your words. But like earlier, you dismiss your thoughts, not believing in your unordinary beliefs. Namjoon moves to Jungkook and puts his hand on Jungkook’s upper back. His hands are covered in rings, which you find odd for him to wear at work, but your thoughts pull you into a sinister imagination. You snap out of your dreams as quickly as they came when he starts to move Jungkook as he slowly walks away. “Mr. Jeon, You will come with me to the locker-room. I’m feeling nice enough to give you a new set of clothes because you’re covered in sweat.” Namjoon stops for a second and turns his head back to you, “Ms. Y/L/N, I will meet you in my office ASAP. You can go down to the nurse’s office now.” You nodded your head and spoke, “Okay sir, I will see you then.” You looked back to Namjoon, only to find his momentarily still in place before he continued in the direction of the locker-room. You started to walk quickly in the course of the nurse’s office before any other student saw you.

During your visits to the nurse’s office and the chapel, you can’t help but be pulled back into your thoughts of Namjoon’s hands, his rings especially. When the nurse was scolding you with phrases of how sinful this was and yelling about the lessons of early childhood Sunday school, you wondered how cold Namjoon’s rings must be on your hot skin. When you were listening to the priest telling you what you must for your penance of adultery, you wondered if Namjoon touches himself with those rings on. It wasn’t great that think about him as much as you do, especially since he’s your professor at the private Catholic University you attended. It was more ironic that he was your professor for your Theology 107 class, Intro to Catholic Moral Theology. What surprised you the most is no one made you feel the way he made you feel, just his presence put shocks through your body. You knew you were screwed from the moment you saw him walk into the lecture hall of your class. Namjoon had a towering figure; he was a tall man with a lean body type; it made you feel like he’s larger than life when he was near you. He had a slick ash-blonde undercut that complemented well his sun-kissed skin. Namjoon held a compelling aura around him, it left many people speechless at times, but it left you speechless and frustrated. His voice didn’t help your problem either. When he spoke, you would usually shiver at the way his baritone voice caused goosebumps to grow on your skin. Namjoon wasn’t just a pretty face either. The words he spoke were wise and thoughtful, a simple sentence he spoke could hint at his great wisdom and intelligence, despite only being five years older than you. He was stern in his words; the commanding tone made you want to get on your knees as fast as you possibly can. During his lectures, you can hear the passion in his voice, the love he has for the goodness in humanity. You knew his heart was kind when he shared all the possible resources for communicating with him to his class; “I don’t want you guys to pass my class, I want you to come out of here, understanding the morality of right and wrong. But I’ll still make sure that each person still passes this class anyway”. He was a caring, and kind person; it just wasn’t fair for you because there was nothing you could use to make yourself dislike him to any capacity. Kim Namjoon was the epitome of frustration for you. It made you confused on whether you wanted to withdraw his class to end your troubles or start attending office hours just to see him. You wanted to express your feelings to someone but it seemed like everyone around you would start spewing words of sinfulness and disappointment to you, even though those people are probably having the same lustful thoughts of him as well. Being at a small college that you attended, you forced to keep your shit together around him. Though it didn’t matter much about what you did with boys like Jungkook, the smallest mistake around Namjoon could jeopardize the friendships you created and the reputation at your school. It’s not that you cared about what other people think but you’d rather stay away from the possible name-calling and bullying that might occur.     All these things were filling your mind as you walked to Namjoon’s office. It was getting harder to keep your frustrations to a minimum; but today, you lost control of yourself. This morning was especially tough since your dreams were filled with nothing but Namjoon’s hands. You woke up, already extraordinarily irritated and frustrated, and from that moment, it seemed like everything around you tried to trigger you. People were irritating you, the lack of food in your apartment irritated you, a random pop-quiz irritated you, and the hot, dry weather irritated you. You were close to overflowing with irritation as you were walking past the football field until your eyes found Namjoon in the area. His coaching uniform stuck to him due to the sweat covering his body. He was teaching new tricks to use in the upcoming soccer game, and you watch as his body moved so smoothly through the field. It seemed like everything he was doing required no effort. But that notion quickly disappeared when he kicked the ball into the goal. The pride and sheer aggression he possessed when he kicked the ball made you think he might destroy the goal. You thought about if he might have the same aggression when he's touching someone, putting the same level of effort and power in his thrusts when he’s fucking someone, such thoughts making your knees almost buckle in return. After the boy landed in the goal, he turned to the team and gave a radiant cocky smile, and that’s when you snapped completely. Your frustration was overflowing covering the small bits of your weaken sanity, causing you to pull your phone and find the number of some boy that you know would satisfy your needs for the time being. Your thoughts silenced themselves as you approach the door of Namjoon’s office. You could hear Namjoon scolding Jungkook, and it becomes quiet when you knocked on the door. You hear Namjoon yell a “come in” and you open the door almost immediately. Once the door is open, you find a cowering Jungkook with his head down in fear and shame while Namjoon sits in his seat, calm and controlled. “Hello Ms. Y/L/N. Please hand in your timestamps and take a seat.” Namjoon spoke as he lifted his open palms towards you, hinting to place the notepaper in that hand. Your hands slightly shook as you set the paper in his palm. His fingertips accidentally graze your hand causing you to immediately mirror Jungkook’s figure, tilting your face down to hide your blushing features. You feel Namjoon’s stare burning holes in your mind as you continue facing the ground. “So, Ms. Y/L/N, I was just talking to Mr. Jeon about the consequences he must endure for such offense. Fortunately for you, this is your first offense so your punishment will not be as severe as Mr. Jeon’s, as he has committed adultery on campus-grounds multiple times.” Namjoon’s tone shifted from stern to downright irritated towards the end of his sentence, making you almost chuckle at how stupid Jungkook could be at getting caught many times. “Still, I must reprimand you for such an incident. This astonishes me because I expected better from you, Y/N.” At the sound of your name leaving his lips and you instantly shiver. Why the hell are you so damn turned on? You could literally get kicked out of your university right now. You shifted your thighs together for relief and took a deep breath before facing Namjoon and speaking. “Mr. Kim, I’m not sure what to say, but I would like to apologize for my behavior. I shouldn’t have done this to myself or Jungkook, so I will take whatever punishment you give me.”

“I know that you are a good student, Y/N. And I know how a student’s life can be busy at times so I will go lightly on you, this one time. You’ve always turned in lovely essays in my class so as your punishment, you will come into my office and grade the essays that will be turned in this week. You will grade all 273 essays this upcoming Friday, come in at 6pm. No earlier, no later. Do you understand what you have to do, Ms. Y/L/N?” Namjoon’s smile resembled a cheshire cat as he spoke more about your punishment. He’s utterly cruel, you thought to yourself. That essay has a 10-page minimum requirement, and so there are at least 1000 pages that you have to read. The pieces aren't even interesting, it’s basically nothing but the history of good morals, and it was already mind-numbing to write the goddamn thing. “Yes, Mr. Kim, I do.” You tried your best to hide your irritation in your tone. It’s hard not to be irritated; you have to spend your Friday night, grading essays even if your brain starts melting. “Then you are dismissed, Ms. Y/L/N. I will see you on Friday.” Namjoon says with a slight smile as you stand up and leave the room. You’re fucked. Not only is your mind going to die by the 50th essay, but you possibly wouldn’t be able to function well because you’re going to around him.

There were no words to describe how exhausted you were today. You’ve spent the past few days studying, and you were just mentally-drained. You just wanted to get all this grading done as fast as you possibly can so you sleep for the rest of the weekend. Your fatigue caused you to drag yourself to Namjoon’s office, groaning every other minute about how awful the next few hours would be. You’ve been dreading this day because you knew that this night would be filled with nothing but absolute frustration. It was hard to bring yourself to knock on his office door, wanting to stall time a bit longer; thankfully you received a text just in time to distract you for a bit. Jungkook [5:55 pm]: Hey baby, are we still on for tonight? As a present for yourself, you made plans with Jungkook to binge-watch some random Netflix series. Even though these activities were planned for the night, it seemed that both you and Jungkook knew precisely what would eventually happen tonight, finishing what both of you and him started in that closet earlier in the week. You went a step further and wore a shorter than appropriate skirt with a matching blouse, so he had easier access. You needed to get your frustration in your stomach to leave because it was just getting painful now. You [5:58 pm]: Of course :-) I’ll probs be done by 10pm, I’ll text you when I leave Namjoon’s office. You wanted to relish in the possible events that might occur when you see Jungkook tonight, but you knew better than to delay the inevitable. You wanted to zoom through these damn fucking essays. You lightly knocked on the door, immediately having Namjoon open it with a bright smile on his face. “Right on time, Y/N. Let’s get started. Please take a seat” He held the door open for you, and as you walked into the office, you kept the same pose you had the last time you saw him, face down with your hands interlocked in front of your thighs. Both you and Namjoon walked to your seats, and you sat in the chair opposing to his seat. As he sat down, he swiftly placed a grading sheet and a stack of essays in front of you. “So Y/N, grading these papers is pretty simple actually. You have to read them over and make sure that they follow the guidelines on the rubric.” He pointed to the grading sheet and continued, “And read them over for clarity and accuracy. If you have any questions or you need help, please don’t hesitate to ask.” Although his tone was stern, you can tell he was trying his best to be kind to you. “Okay, Mr. Kim, thank you.” You continued facing downwards as you nodded as your hands reached for a pen and the first essay of many, you just wanted to get through all of this quickly.

“Oh please Y/N, you can call me Namjoon. Although you’re here for outlandish reasons, you still don’t need to be formal with me right now.” Namjoon gave a soft smile, which caused you to blush a bit. You knew that you had to look at him to get through this night normally, but it was definitely easier said than done, especially with the way he looked at the moment. Often, you’d always see Namjoon in business-casual attire or his coaching uniform but today was a bit different because he was nothing but casual. Namjoon seemed to look ridiculously hot in everything he wore. He wore a plain black shirt, revealing his lean biceps and gave way for his broad shoulders, with light blue ripped jeans, which accentuated his legs nicely. You recognize his shirt as a merch from a K-Rock group you like, STB. “Is that an STB shirt?” You lift your head to speak to him, with confidence for the first time, which shocked you a bit moments afterward. “Yes, it is! You like them?” Namjoon spoke excitedly with the biggest grin on his face. “I think my favorite album by STB is ‘Hate Yourself: Him’ but my favorite song by them is probably ‘Cypher -69’. My bias is definitely RM, aka Red Mango.” “My bias is Seokjom, for sure. But I really like that album! I actually like the album, Burnt Wings, a bit better; I like the song, ‘BS&T.’ The choreography is absolutely wild.” You mentioned to Namjoon, hoping that he might care. “Wait, which song is BS&T?” Namjoon questioned. “BS&T is ‘Buns, Salt, & Tomato.’ It’s the song where all the members had an orange mohawk.” You clarified for him, surprised that he didn’t know the acronym for such a beautiful song. “Wait, I know that song! They all looked so good. I was a bit surprised they could all pull off an orange mohawk.” Namjoon chuckled as he placed more papers on your side of the desk. Feeling a bit more confident, you started asking Namjoon questions about himself, “So Namjoon, STB is a bit of a rated musical group. What’s a man like you doing listening to such bold music?” Namjoon seemed surprised when you asked, but it looked like he was happy to answer anyway. “To answer your question, I may be a professor who’s teaching theological morals at a Catholic college, but there’s nothing wrong with observing and occasionally diving in provocative acts.” He started to smirk at you as he leaned slightly closer to you. “But I can ask you the same question, Ms. Y/L/N.” “I, um, I--” You were shocked by such an answer, startled by the possible meaning behind his words. You practically froze in place, scaring yourself as you realize he can see you blushing from this angle. You could barely continue until Namjoon leaned even closer to your face and spoke lightly,  “What’s wrong, Y/N? Cat got your tongue?”. He waited a few moments for you to speak but instead, you quickly faced the ground again, hiding your face which caused him to chuckle. Namjoon stood up and started walked around his desk, “Ya know Y/N, I’ve always noticed you could never look at me for more than a few moments, let alone find the words to speak to me properly. I wondered what caused you to do such things around me.” Namjoon had a sly smile once he sat in the chair right next to you. “Do I make you nervous, Y/N?” He cocked his head to the side in question towards you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, let alone answer his damn question. You were blushing profusely with embarrassment, but you couldn’t help yourself when he had such an effect on you with just his words. His hand lifted to tilt your chin in the direction of his face softly so that he can see your features. “Answer my question, Y/N,” Namjoon spoke with more force in his tone. “Y-yes” You stumbled over the one word because the feeling of his long fingers under your chins has small shocks moving straight to your core. “Yes, what, Y/N?” Namjoon moved your chin closer to his face, with his eyes taking the time to analyze the shape of your lips. “I’d like to speak a bit more formally with me right now.” You didn’t know what to say, but your mind couldn’t help go to the word that made him shudder and frozen in place. “Yes, s-sir” You felt like you were going to collapse, you just wanted to moan out and just starting begging him to touch you everywhere, but your lingering embarrassment was still in your veins and fresh in your face. “Good girl, I knew that you would get it quickly.” He let his hand fall from your chin to the legs. The pet-name made shivers run down your spine. Namjoon moved to sit in the seat next to you, the seat that Jungkook sat in only a few days ago. It almost caused you to started to squirm in your seat when you felt his ring-covered fingers digging into your thighs. “So tell me Y/N, why do I make you nervous?” The question makes your breathing erratic, The sounds of your breath coming out as heavy and uneven. Namjoon noticed your struggle to breathe, and so he continued, “Are you nervous because you find me attractive? Do I make your knees weak, sweetheart?” You slowly nodded your head, not trusting your voice because you knew the only thing that would come out is a moan. But it felt Namjoon squeezing your thighs, wanting a verbal answer. “Yes sir, you’re all I think about.” “Really? You’re such a sinful girl. Do you know how wrong it is to think of me in such a daring way?” You felt his hands slide under your skirt, moving slowly to your inner thighs. You started to squirm in your hands, needing to have his hands on you. “What is it, Y/N? Do you want me to touch you?” Namjoon’s fingertips moved to follow your panty line, causing you to whine. “Speak up for me, babygirl.” “Please sir, please touch me” You whine to him, slightly opening your legs up for him. As soon as you did that, you felt two fingers graze down your clothed core, only to realize how wet you are. “Such a naughty girl, I haven’t done a single thing to you, and you already ruined your panties” It seems as though Namjoon’s voice went an octave lower, causing you to drench your panties even more. Namjoon suddenly takes his hand from underneath your skirt and grabs your wrist. He stands up and pulls you up along with him, resulting in you standing between him and his desk. He closes the tiny gap between the both of you and grabs your hips with both hands to push you up on his desk. Namjoon slides his hand back to your core, moving your panties to the side to dip his fingers in your drenched folds. You sigh in nothing but relief because finally, your daydreams are coming true. You’re getting what you truly need, receiving the thing that will finally sedate the hunger that’s been haunting you for too many goddamn nights. The cheering in your head was momentarily interrupted when a shockwave runs through your body as you felt Namjoon press his thumb your clit. “Are you nervous now Y/N? Are you embarrassed with yourself?” Namjoon sneers his words as his thumb starts to create circles on your clit. He buries himself in your neck, leaving teasing pecks all the column of your throat. Your hands start covering your mouth, trying to conceal the moans that falling out. But Namjoon doesn’t like this one bit, so his other hand leaves your hips to grab your wrist with a tight grip and held it behind your lower back. He whispers in your ear, “Don’t hide yourself babygirl. Don’t you want people to hear you? You were definitely loud earlier with Jungkook. Did you want me to hear you, Y/N?” Namjoon lets his thumb fall your needy nub. He starts dipping his finger in your hole, moving it teasingly slow so he can bask in your whines. You nodded your head furiously, doing anything to get him to move faster. You might explode from the teasing that you’re starting to endure. But again, Namjoon didn’t like what you just did. So he shoves two fingers into your heat, until he’s knuckle-deep, only to still them completely. “Answer me right now or I wouldn’t fucking move.” You cry out from the sudden intrusion and shudder at the foreign feeling of coolness touching your walls caused by his rings. You force yourself to muster up an answer as your hips start buckling, “Y-yes sir, I-I wanted you to know.” Namjoon starts a slow pace with his fingers, curling them on the spot inside you, causing you to fall instantly on his desk. You start losing control of your free-falling moans at the feeling his rings sliding in and out of you. He just started, but you feel the coil in your stomach getting tighter quickly. “I wonder what everyone might think, to have such an unholy girl walk on our campus. To have someone among us, who is so easily influenced by their desires. A person that's willing to do anything to achieve them, even if it means getting finger-fucked in a messy closet or by your professor.” His pace starts getting faster, pulling his fingers all the way out only to slam them in deep within a second, making you lose all control over your moans. Your walls start clenching your fingers as the coil in your stomach gets ready to snap. You can barely understand how he’s got you so close in record time. His smirk was cocky as the soft tone of his voice meets your ears. “Babygirl, how are you ready so fast? Were you thinking about me doing this to you today? You probably think about me doing bad things to you often, huh?” “Yes! Yes! I do Sir, all the time” You cry out at the sudden urge to answer his question, hoping that would please him. “Are you gonna cum, Y/N? Are you gonna cum on my fingers shoved inside your needy little cunt? You better fucking beg for it” Namjoon snarled slightly at the words. “Please, sir! Please, let me cum. I’ll be so good for you. Sir. Please” Your legs start trembling uncontrollably as your high gets so damn close. “Then cum for me, babygirl,” You were a bit thrown off at the sudden change in tone from slightly rough to completely gentle. But your mind stopped working as Namjoon presses his thumb hard against your clit, snapping your coil. You felt your blood turn into lava as your high blessed your senses completely. Never have you came hard from someone’s fingers but Namjoon seemed to prove you wrong. There were only a few short moments of stillness before his fingers left your heat and started to rip off your blouse and skirt, leaving you in your bra and panties. Namjoon stepped back to take in your appearance, only to broadcast a small loving smile on his face. But his words immediately put you on edge again once they left his lips. “Babygirl, I can’t wait to ruin you.” His smile morphed into a sinister grin as he rushed back you and sent your bra flying across the room. He pulled open your legs and tore your panties off. He immediately got on his knees, so he was facing your sopping cunt. Namjoon traces the outline of your folds that send a wave of shivers throughout your body from the oversensitivity. “N-namjoon, please. I c-can’t”, but he immediately hushed your whimpers. You did something he didn’t enjoy, again. His unoccupied hand went straight to grip your chin harshly, and he sent a stare that both scared and excited you. “What did you just call me?” He growls as his intense gaze sends multiple spikes of adrenaline throughout your veins. “Sir please, I’m sorry, but I just can’t.” You spoke softly, not wanting to provoke him in any way. “Well unfortunately for you, Y/N, I already know that you can...” Namjoon’s voice went an octave lower as both hands sneaked their way to your calf muscles. “... And you will, anyway.” Before you could say anything, Namjoon dragged your legs forward and let go, letting them hang off the desk. He moved to tightly grip your hips and repeat a similar action, pulling your hips towards his face. Instantly, he dove into your core and licked a bold strip between your folds before his tongue started hitting your clit. Your moans were strained and filled the room as you arch your back. The pleasure was just so raw, you felt it throughout your body, and it was intoxicating. You thought it couldn’t get any better, Namjoon pushed his fingers moved back to your entrance, and you clenched at the feeling, whining loudly as your thighs shook. His fingers moved at a furious pace, hitting your sweet spot hard each time. “Goddamnit babygirl, how are you still so tight? I wonder, did Jungkook made you this wet? Did he make you cum this fast?” Namjoon started to groan when your walls were clutching harder onto his fingers. When you didn’t answer his question, his other hand smacked your ass, and you cried out. The pain of his ring-covered hands spanking your cheeks only added to the immense pleasure that you could barely handle. Your second orgasm was approaching, but you can hardly hold yourself together. “Answer me when I’m fucking talking to you” Namjoon’s voice dripped in raspiness. No man has ever been rough with you at this point, but Namjoon was seriously making you rethink all your preferences. “N-no Sir, Jungkook didn’t make me cum. H-he didn’t make me wet. You did, it’s a-all for you, Sir.” You barely had any control over the shakiness in your voice, but you didn’t care, not with the way he’s making you feel right now. “Awh babygirl, you’re so damn dirty. Thinking of another man when you’re being touched by someone else? I didn’t know you needed me so fucking bad.” His words continued igniting a fire that was growing through every part of your body. Namjoon was right, his words were exact. You’d do anything for this man, and you don’t think you can even go back to anyone else. Your thoughts were confirmed when he added a third finger to the mix, sending you straight to the end. Your release was fast approaching, but your hazy mind told you that you wouldn’t experience absolute bliss until you asked. “Sir please, can I please cum? I w-want it so bad” you whined for relief, you needed it so badly. “Such a good girl, asking for permission. Go ahead, cum for me.” As soon as the words left his mouth, your mind went foggy as the instantaneous pleasure migrate throughout your body, causing your body to fall limp. You felt exhaustion ease into your body, not noticing the sound of Namjoon unbuckling his jeans, or his pants falling to the floor. Your attention returned when he lifted you off the desk, only to turn you around and bend you over his desk. He held a vise-grip on your hips and pushed you against him. You felt his hard cock right behind your cheeks of your ass. “S-sir, I’m so sensitive.” You sighed in fatigue, only to have that interrupted by the feeling of his tip at your entrance. “Isn’t this what you want, Y/N?...” Namjoon slowly pushed himself all the way into your hole, having you mewl in oversensitivity. The cock was so thick, and you haven’t felt anyone so deep inside you, touching parts of you that you never knew needed to be touched. Namjoon groaned in pleasure, your hole tight around his cock. The exhilaration took his breath away briefly, momentarily forgetting about his surroundings. After of few moments of letting both of you adjust to the snug fit, he pulled all the way out, only to slam right back into you. Namjoon continued to speak with a bit of strain, “... To get fucked on my fat cock? To have me fuck you so damn hard that you pass out? Because that’s what I’m gonna do, I wouldn’t stop until you fucking pass out.” Your eyes welled up with tears of pleasure as his hard-hitting pace grew faster. Your moans turned into screams due to the massive amount of pleasure building in your stomach. Your senses were completely overloaded, and you felt fucking everything. “Look at you, taking my cock so fucking well. Letting me stretch out your greedy little cunt.” The growl of his words sounded sinister. You suddenly felt one of his hands leave your hip, slithering its way to your throat; he spread his fingers out as he wrapped them around your neck. Your withering walls clamped hard around his cock at the feeling, causing him to groan as loud as your screams. “Are you gonna cum for me, Y/N? Are you gonna cum hard on my cock?” Namjoon spoke as his grip on your throat became tighter, and his pace became harder. The insufficient amount of oxygen to your brain left you to choke out an answer, “Yes! Yes, sir!” “Then do it, cum all over my cock, babygirl” He releases his grip on your throat, letting the air race back into your lungs and head; almost immediately, you scream out a constant mantra of Namjoon’s name as your high hit you like a freight train. Your entire body shook as your mind went blank of only white burning pleasure. Your whole being was in a trance of nirvana, all you could do is bask in the sensations that froze the blood in your body. You could barely feel Namjoon pulling out and turning you around to face him, the daze having you laid there as you sigh in relief. However, it was interrupted completely when Namjoon turns grabs you by the thighs and lifts you, only to have you straddle his lap while he sits in the chair you previously sat in. Your eyes glanced and almost bulge out of their sockets when you see he was still as hard as a fucking rock. “N-namjoon, I--” Your shaky sentence was already cut short when you felt Namjoon’s cock against your leaking folds. “One more, sweetheart,” He cupped your tear-stained, blushing cheeks in the palms of his hands. Your eyes slowly glanced up to look into his, only to find a tenderness to them. Namjoon started to place soft kisses along both sides of your jawline. “I promise, okay?” As Namjoon spoke, he moved to gaze into your eyes, searching for any sign of discomfort. From the warmth in his tone and tenderness in his eyes, you nodded your head with a weak “okay.” Namjoon lifted you slightly only as he moved his one of his hands to rest his tip your entrance. The hand that was cupping cheeks pull you closer to his face, letting him plant the first actual kiss of the night. His lips were plush and soft against yours; his gentle kiss left you with a warmth growing in your chest, leading you to chase his lips for more. You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging ever so slightly, causing him to moan. His lips distract you as he slowly pushed back inside you. You broke the kiss to shake out a broken gasp. Your oversensitivity left your body shuddering uncontrollably, along with whimpers falling from your agape mouth. Namjoon stays still for a few moments, placing kisses all over your neck and face with constant reassurances of how lovely you are. He rubbed your back, to comfort you. These actions left you confused; you were quite honestly dumbstruck at the sudden sexual change from rough to gentle. Namjoon started to move; his thrusts were nothing like the recent occasion. Instead of hard-hitting pace, he moved slowly and passionately; he wasn’t thrusting roughly, Namjoon grinded his cock into you at a pace where it seemed like he wanted to savor each moment he had with you. His grinding movement limited the amount of stimulation you felt, letting your high build at a slow pace. “Sweetheart, you’re doing such a good job, taking me so well.” Namjoon moved his lips to whispered in your ear, “You feel so good around me, so tight and wet. You’re such a good girl.” As he continues moaning praises into your ear, his pace started becoming uneven and sloppy. His breathing pattern became heavier and strained as he spoke, “Come on sweetheart, cum with me. You can do it, just let go.” Namjoon grinded his hips upward, hitting your clit in the process which caused you to snap and reach your high. You were only aware of body violently trembling as your orgasm soars through you. Your release was prolonged, as Namjoon colored your swollen walls in white, burying his head into your neck as he groans in the process. Both of you stay still in comforting silence, the sounds of erratic breathing only filling the room. After a few moments, Namjoon stands up to carefully lifts your body off of him, pulling out in the process, and lays you on his desk. He grabs a few tissues and opens your legs gently to clean the leaking cum from your heat cautiously. You’re unaware of your surroundings or Namjoon as you were completely and utterly fucked out. You were barely conscious when he sits you up and tries to get water down your throat. You start to come back to life when you felt your skirt being pulled onto you. You realize Namjoon put your clothes back on you, surprised at such the kind behavior. “Namj-joon...” You weren’t necessarily shocked to find your voice to be small and weak. Namjoon chuckled at the sound of your voice, “Well hi there, you were bit dazed out for a few minutes there. I was afraid that I actually fucked your brains out.” You huffed out, “I c-can’t help it, I came four times. I still feel a bit hazy honestly.” You moved to stand up, but your legs gave out on you, causing you to almost fall to the ground. Thankfully, Namjoon was quick enough to catch you.

“Woah there, you gotta be careful Y/N.” Namjoon lifts you back to his desk and hands you a water bottle while shooting you a smile, “Give yourself a few moments to breathe a bit and whenever you’re ready, I’ll get some food with you and walk you back to your apartment.” Namjoon starts to fix himself up a bit more afterward. You did by drinking the water steadily, relaxing your breathing a bit every few sips. While doing so, you decided looked at your phone, checking for any possible notifications you missed. You stifle a laugh when you look at the time, encountering a large number of messages from Jungkook, saying something along of the “where are you?” and “did you fucking dip on me?” and only to see that it’s 2 hours past the time you were supposed to meet up with the boy. You text him a quick “sorry :/, but i’m out” and put your phone down. You look around Namjoon’s desk, and you end up sighing in slight frustration. The essays you were supposed to grade were all over the place, and some papers even covered in sweat. Namjoon notices you looking around at the essays, so he turns towards you and speaks, “You don’t have to worry about that right now.” Unsure of what exactly to say, you decide to ask him questions about your possible grading, “Wait really? Are you sure?” “Yeah, it’s no problem Y/N” Namjoon walks to you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He pulls you down from the desk so that you’re standing steadily due to his grip. You glanced up to his towering face to find a cocky smirk. He starts chuckling as he walks you out of his office, “You just have to come in this weekend and grade them with me instead.”

[doseofheroes]

Stalling

Summary: When Bucky is injured in the woods, he comes across a small cabin.

Words: 4072 (wtf)

Pair: bucky x reader

Warnings: violence, swearing

A/n: it is literally my first time writing anything besides a paper for school so sorry for how terrible it is but I had the idea and wanted to try! Also learnt the hard way about formatting so hopefully its somewhat coherent. Also also I wrote it in a night on my phone... Idk if literally anyone will read this but im kinda happy with how it turned out so enjoy!

When you moved out to the middle of nowhere a couple of months ago you knew you were just stalling. After graduating university four quick years later you were no more sure of what you wanted to do now then when you started. So yes, time off to be alone and think for yourself was a stall tactic, but doesn’t mean it was the wrong move right?

The first couple of weeks were peaceful. You were in a small cabin you rented off airbnb located somewhere on the outer edge of the ** forest. Snow fell as slowly creating a fresh layer as you sat inside cozied up with a blanket and some tea reading by the fire. A clichè but still nice.

You made yourself some pasta for dinner and listened to some old Amy Whinehouse tunes. Cleaning up the dishes you decided to call it an early night and went to bed. Little did you know what or rather who would show up at your door that night.

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Bucky and Natasha had set out on mission to the depths of the ** forest where a known hydra base was located. Their job was to only collect intel for now so they could make a proper plan and bring back the group for execution. The base had turned out to be much larger than they had anticipated counting over 250 hydra agents working on the base so far.

“How the hell are we just getting wind of this now?” Bucky stared at the base in confusion.

“Somethings not right. We should’ve heard about this one when we took out the others.” Nat said sharing a concerned look with Bucky.

“We shouldn’t go any further until we get the others” Nat said as she started to pack up.

“We need to figure out what the deal is here” Bucky started “we can’t leave yet.”

“Bucky, there are 250 of them and 2 of us. I know we’re a little above average but thats a bit overkill. No pun intended.”

Bucky smirked at her attempt at humour but there was no way he was leaving just yet. He felt something was off and he wanted to know what. “I’ll do a quick look around. In and out. No contact”

“Bucky, no. Dont be stupid. I get it, but lets not do something we’ll regret. I’m calling this in, i’ll let them know were heading back.”

Bucky sits silently for a second and notices she’s looking for his agreement. He nods.

As Nat trails back to get a signal Bucky turns back to look at the base. “What are you up to...” he says to himself as he looks around. Thats when he sees it. The ever so familiar blue liquid. Fuck he thinks to himself. Theyre trying again...more super soldiers...more....me. His mind flashes back to his hydra days and all the stuff they made him do. This can’t happen.

Against all better judgement he looks back at Nat who is still facing away and starts to descend down the rocks towards the base. He just needs to get the suitcase filled with the serum and get out.

Reaching the outer gates he looks around to make his plan. Thats when all hell brakes loose. A guard patrolling the fence line spots him and starts to yell. Bucky runs over to take him out before anyone notices but it’s too late. Next thing he knows hes taking on an army of hydra agents, shots flying. Nat hears the commotion and turns around. “I don’t believe this.” She says into her comms. She’s about to start the descent when she realizes its too late. Bucky’s down. They’ve got him. This just became a rescue mission.

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Bucky slowly comes to and tries to rub his face but soon realizes he is restrained. Taking in his surroundings he tries not to let panic set in as he looks around the room of the hydra base. Everyone is silently staring at him now that he’s awake. One of the men mutters something to a nurse and she leaves the room. The door bursts open a minute later and in comes a tall thin man with a lab coat. “Hello Mr Barnes. This is a pleasant surprise.” Bucky says nothing but gives the man a blank stare. “I see, the strong but silent type. Well your timing is opportune for us Mr Barnes. you see, we are finally creating our own little army of, well, you to be blunt, and I think you can give me the answers to the questions that remain.” Bucky stays silent not letting his panic show. The doctor doesn’t say much more telling the nurses to start the work up. They start collecting blood samples.

Bucky knows he doesn’t have long before this gets real bad so he starts to form his escape plan in his head. The restraints do not feel like they will be too difficult to break out of, its the building he is unsure of, having been unconscious when they brought him in. I guess we’re gonna wing it he thinks to himself.

Once the nurses clear and all the guards leave except the two at the door, Bucky knows its time. He breaks out of the restraints easily, as he suspected. He knocks on the door and the two guards turn around, eyes widening with realization. They start yelling as he bursts through the door knocking them both out.

As he makes his way through the building things are getting worse and worse. Thats when he sees the doctor, face not of fear, but perhaps interest? Bucky keeps making his way out when he sees a guy blocking the door. He takes a good look at him and he realizes. Shit. This is no regular soldier.

He starts swinging and while he is holding his own, he is still taking quite the beating. I just have to get out he thinks. The soldier now has a rifle. great. Using his arm to deflect the shots he runs full force to take him down but takes a hit in his side. Bucky grunts as the shot stings but the soldier pulls out a knife and Bucky rolls in a near miss.

Ducking and dodging Bucky reminds himself he’s not here to fight, he just needs to get out. He turns and makes a run for it, and is almost home free when he feels a sharp pain in his shoulder and is knocked down. He turns his head to see the knife sticking out of his back. Pulling it out slowly Bucky cringes at the pain but the soldier is already walking back to him.

A knife fight ensues as Bucky desperately tries to stave him off. A realization comes to Bucky. I gotta take the hit to leave. Bucky slows his movements and he feels the knife go straight into his chest. Screaming in pain bucky pulls out the knife almost regretting that, but now, with both knives in his hand he is able to make a run for it throwing the final two knives hitting the soldier twice as he makes his escape.

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Bucky is out of breath and losing feeling as his body tries to recover from the two stab wounds and the shot. He needs to find a safe place to get the bullet out.

After wandering for a few miles Bucky smells smoke. That’s when he sees it. A house...out here? He checks the perimeter for any signs of hyrda or that someone is living there. There is a car in the driveway but no signs point to hydra. He takes the risk and starts to bang on the door.

What the fuck? You think to yourself as you slowly wake up to a loud noise. Fear sets in when you realize someone is banging on your door. You sit in bed waiting for a few minutes hoping they will go away. When the knocking doesn’t subside you decide to go down and check out who it is. God this is stupid, you’ve seen horror movies y/n!!

You look through the doors peephole and thats when you see him. Its dark out so you can’t make out much but you can tell he is handsome. Really y/n? A stranger is knocking on your door in the middle of nowhere at 2 am and you think ‘ooh he’s handsome’?! You mentally scold yourself. Thats when you notice he is clutching his chest.

“Please. I know you’re there. I can hear you. I just need some help and I will leave. I mean you no harm” please for the love of god let me in Bucky thinks to himself.

You are terrified but he looks really hurt. This is a bad idea...you think to yourself but unlock the door anyway.

Bucky perks up at the noise and the door opens slowly. Buckys eyes look up to you and he stares for a second. “Can I come in, please?” He says softly.

“Oh yes sorry!” You say as you let him in, adrenaline rushing. He walks inside slowly looking around before heading to the kitchen. You go to turn on the lights and flick them on before he has time to yell “Dont!” But its too late. You gasp as you take in his injuries and blood soaked clothes.

You look up to his face. “Please, turn them off” he says firmly but quietly. You do as he says. He has the most beautiful blue eyes you think before being kicked back to reality.

“Are you- are you o-okay?” You ask voice shaky. He stays silent. “Well you’re obviously not okay...but do you need...how can I help you? Should I call the police? You should really-“

“Im fine, no need to call anyone” he says cutting you off. “Do you have a towel or something?” You sit there frozen for a few seconds before you spring into action. You disappear upstairs for a few minutes. Bucky takes a deep breath after you leave trying to reorganize his thoughts. The moment he saw your face he forgot, even just for a moment, why he was there in the first place. You had such a calming presence even though you were clearly panicked. You came back arms full with anything you thought could be remotely useful. First aid kit, towels, and a sewing kit you didn’t know you had until now among other things. As you head back to the kitchen you almost drop everything as the man stands shirtless in front of you. You regain composure placing everything on the counter pretending not to see the man smirk.

“I’m going to need you to take the bullet out.” He deadpans. “What?!” You choke out almost laughing at the thought. “I can’t reach it with my other injuries....” he trails off seeing the panicked look on your face “you know what don’t worry about it I think I can manage” A wave of relief floods over you at his words but as he goes to sit you see him wince and you know he was lying for your benefit. Be strong y/n you can do this, you are a strong independent woman “ I can do it. I can take it out. You’re clearly not okay.” Bucky is about to protest but stops when he feels another wave of pain. He nods at you and sterilizes the tweezers before handing them to you. You grab them reluctantly but give him a small smile. He doesn’t know why but that small action gives him enough comfort he thinks he might just be ok. “Okay here goes nothing” you say as he exhale deeply and stick the tweezers in. Bucky grips the counter top and groans. “Im so sorry!” You quickly retreat from your real life game of operation. “No I’m fine keep going” he says and gives you a reassuring smile. “So..” you try to think of some conversation to keep his mind elsewhere. “Do you like cats?” Oh my god bitch are you for real, you are gonna die alone. You clear your throat awkwardly, too late to back out of this conversation. He cracks a smile at your clear embarrassment but answers your question. “Um Ive never had one but I dont mind them I guess. More of a dog person I think” she nods. “Are you...a cat person?” Yikes this is awkward Bucky thinks to himself. But he kind of likes awkward with you. “ Im in animal person in general. Love them all.” You say half focused on the conversation half focused on his side. You try not to let your eyes wander to his abs...and that chest.. ugh is this a man or a god and thats when you realized you had stopped moving and he was staring at you....staring at him. Your eyes quickly dart away and your face heats up at being so blatantly caught enjoying the view. He chuckles and you quickly change the subject. “So care to explain any of this or are you just going to bleed all over my kitchen?” You say almost defensively trying to hide your embarrassment. Bucky stiffens a little. “Are you going to find the bullet or just stare at me all night?” He says half joking, avoiding the question. “I think” you say before grabbing onto the bullet finally and pulling it out quickly. Bucky winces. “that you are avoiding the question” you finish. “You know me so well already!” He states pouring some alcohol over the wound, wincing again. “Here. Stay still.” You say ready to stitch it up. “You’ve really accepted the nurse role” he says smirking “I appreciate it.” He finished more seriously. You smile back. God he loved that smile. Get yourself together barnes, it’s just a pretty girl. “Wait you’re not actually a nurse are you?” He asks suspiciously.You laugh at the accusation. “No. I’m nothing.” Wow way to spill all you life problems in one depressing sentence y/n!! Ughhh why can’t I talk to men. Well when they look this good...”What do you mean?” He asks ignoring the pain of your amateur stitches. Definitely not a nurse...“I just meant I haven’t decided what I am going to do, or be yet...thats all” you give him a weak smile and he nods in understanding. “You want me to do the others?” You point to his stab wounds. casual. “Uh sure, if you dont mind. Thanks” You nod again and begin working. You sit in silence for a bit before something occurs to Bucky. He didn’t kill that solider...they’ll be looking for him...and he may have led them right here to you. You feel Bucky tense and he begins to look around. “Whats wrong?” You ask suddenly nervous again. Wait when did you stop being nervous? “Nothing” he said quickly. “Well sit still im almost done” you say and he nods. You finish the last stitch and sit up.

“There all done! I cannot believe I just did that” You begin to smile but it quickly fades as Bucky immediately stands up and puts his shirt back on. A confused look grows on your face which quickly turns to fear as Bucky starts pulling out your kitchen knives and shoving them in his belt. He grabs your hand and starts to drag you upstairs “come with me”. You follow.

Once upstairs he looks around before opening the closet door. “Uhhh what are you doing” you say ignoring the feeling you get when he grabs your hips and moves you into the closet. “They must have followed me. Stay in here and don’t make a noise. Dont leave until I come get you.” You stare at him waiting for your brain to catch up. “Do you understand? Not a word.” You nod slowly. “You will be okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you I promise.” He turns to leave then pauses. “Im Bucky by the way.” “Y/n” you reply weakly. With that he smiles then closes the door and you hear his footsteps walk back downstairs. You sit in silence the only noise being your heavy breaths for a few minutes before you hear glass smash. Bucky takes in his surroundings, five agents, all heavily armed but no super solider. That can’t be good. He takes them down one by one with ease mentally apologizing for everything he’s breaking in your home. Once the last agent is down he steps outside and listens for more. He can hear them every so slightly which means they can’t be more than a mile away. He needs to get you out of there, you’re sitting ducks.

He runs back inside and grabs your car keys before heading upstairs to retrieve you. He swings open the closet door and you let out a scream and start kicking. “Hey hey its me!” You look up and realize your safe. “Sorry...wh-what happened?” “We need to leave. I got your keys, leave everything here, stay behind me” You get up slowly and nod sticking closely behind him. He walks slowly and quietly down the stairs then pauses. Oh fu- Buckys thoughts get cut off as he ducks to avoid the super soldiers hand swinging at his head. Ho. Ly. Shit. You think watching Bucky expertly fight what looks like a man but appears to have the strength of an elephant. You hide behind a wall peering around to watch when it hits you. Super strong men...bullets...bucky...im in an airbnb with the winter soldier. The realization hits you like a truck and you turn around stunned. You catch your breath and begin to watch again. Fear settles in all over when you see the soldier choking the life out of Bucky. Without thinking you grab a knife from the floor run over and stab him in the back. The soldier loosens his grip just enough for Bucky to break free and snaps the guys neck before he has a chance to grab you. “Thanks...” he huffs out holding his neck “we have to move” He grabs your arm and takes you out to the car. You both get inside and Bucky just starts driving.

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The drive is mostly silence as you try and process what is happening and Bucky tries to figure out what to say. “You don’t have a phone on you do you?” He asks. “No..uh you told me not to grab anything” “Right” More silence. I have to say something Bucky decides. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I wasn’t thinking straight and I-“ “You’re the winter soldier aren’t you?” You cut him off. Oh god. Bucky thought this couldn’t get worse, she called me the winter soldier, shes afraid. “I am- or was” He doesn’t know how else to say it without going off. You sit there for a minute in silence. “Ok” is all you say. Bucky looks at you in surprise. “Ok?” “Yeah, ok” you repeat. With that you shift in your seat and nod off. Ok...Bucky repeats this over and over in his head as he drives back to the compound.

==============================

“So..they’re going to be angry with me...just as a heads up.” Bucky says to you as you arrive at the compound. “What? Aren’t you the one who is injured and missing?” “Well, yes, but it’s my fault. I was reckless and I put everyone in danger. Including you. Im sorry.” Bucky suddenly felt even more guilty in remembering that you were now dragged into this too. “It’s okay, honestly, I’m just glad your okay” you said with a smile. It was true. Yes, you were scared shitless at the time but you’re not going to pretend you weren’t psyched to have met Bucky and soon the avengers! Plus..you were going stir crazy in that cabin... oh the cabin...there goes my deposit. Bucky smiled back and got out of the car. You followed him all the way through the front doors to the elevator and down the hall admiring the building around you. This is a Stark building all right...

Bucky slowed and you could hear the avengers in on the other side of the door discussing. He steps inside and stops. “Hey guys” they all whip their heads around to stare at Bucky. Smooth. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU IDIOT!” You hear a female voice. They all proceed to start yelling at him over one another. “Guys....guys...GUYS” Bucky yells finally prompting them to stop. He steps aside and you figure thats your cue so you enter the room. “Hello” you say awkwardly waving to everyone. They all stare at you then back at him. “Who is this?” Tony friggen stark asks Bucky. “When I escaped i was injured and I came across her house. She stitched me up but they followed me so we took her car and well... here we are!” “Buck, we went in to get you and you weren’t there. What happened?” Oh my goddddd captain america!!!! Neutral face y/n, neutral face, be cool. “I broke out about 30 minutes after I was...taken in... but they had a super soldier of their own. Barely got out of there with a bullet hole and two stab wounds.” Bucky says nonchalantly. Your eyes widen at the implications of his story. For some reason your brain forgot something happened before he showed up at your door. Dude was shot and stabbed twice! What the fuck! “And you coincidentally live up in a cabin in the woods alone near a hydra base?” Tony says to you receiving a glare from Bucky. “Wha- hydra base?- no, I rented that cabin, its an airbnb, I was just staying there for a few months” you say, looking around for confirmation that they believe you. They look at each other skeptically. “She stabbed the super soldier to save me- do I really have to say this?” Bucky tries to defend you. “Hey, look, I should just go home, I don’t mean to cause any trouble” you say suddenly feeling how tired you were. “I’m sorry, but they might have seen you, I can’t let you go home until this is cleared up.” Bucky says sympathetically. Your eyes widen at this statement. You look around at the other faces and your fears are confirmed. “He’s right. We need to figure out what their plan is...and no offence..but who you are.” Steve says earning another glare from bucky. You think about this for a moment. I guess I would be skeptical too... plus staying here wouldn’t be so bad...“Alright. Fair enough.” You say shrugging. Buckys face looks surprised but then relieved. In fact they all look relieved.“Well all right sergeant, show the lady to her room” Tony says grinning at Bucky. With that you follow Bucky through the building.

==============================

When you and Bucky finally reach your new room you can tell he wants to say something. “Im so so-“ “thanks f-“ You both speak at the same time. “You first” you say, giggling.Buckys heart clenches at the sound. ”Look, im just really sorry about all of this, I don’t know how to make it up to you.” You can see the guilt on his face. You want to wipe it away with your hands..mouth... god y/n, you sad little daydreamer. “Really truly, its okay. If it were to be anyone I’m glad its me, I was literally in the middle of doing nothing” you say laughing. “But I know how you can make it up to me” you say smiling. “How, anything” he says, face lighting up, not letting his mind go to the places her statement suggested. My first choice would be to for you to push me up against this door and make out with me buuuut... “give me a tour of this place tomorrow?” You say, the confidence of your subconscious not quite reaching your mouth. “Deal” he says nodding. His eyes linger over you for too long before he notices you stifling a yawn. “Sorry, youve had a long night, I’ll let you sleep. See you tomorrow.” “Tomorrow” you say smiling as he leaves the room. Left alone in this strange place, your thoughts swirl on only one thing, or should you say only one man.

=================================

To be continued?

Comments appreciated :)

[allforthecourtt]

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

[1rosex]

Hyung Line reaction to breaking up with s/o and regretting it

Request: Heyo can I get a hyung line reaction to they get so angry or smth and they break up with you? But they didn't mean it and regret it? Thanks for the angst fam keep up the good work

{Maknae Line}

Masterlist

Jin

You were both in a heated argument that had stemmed from Jin's recent behavior. You figured it was stress. You didn't see Jin at all for weeks since he'd been touring, but of course you knew that he couldn't always be around so you weren't blaming him for it. But now you were fighting, you don't even know how it started. One minute you'd been telling Jin you missed him, the next angry he'd snapped at you, and now both of you at each others throats.

"Stop! Just stop!" You yelled out. "I didnt mean to make you angry! I know you cant always be around, I get it!" You were trying to kill the fight, trying to bring Jin back to his senses. But his anger piled on top of each other, letting all of frustration spill into this single argument.

"No! Its not just today, it's every day Y/N!" Jin turned to you, you could nearly see him radiating with anger. "Always complaining about how tired you are, how lonely you are, how much work you have, how sad you are, its always about you! Don't you think I struggle too? I've got a whole band to worry about!" His eyes were two burning coals in which you'd once seen love. You were too afraid to speak at this point, you'd never seen him so angry it was unlike anything he'd done before.

"Well I'm done, done with it, done with you! Get out." The coals were boring into you willing you snap under his gaze, his voice circling the room. You didn't move. "Jin.."

"I SAID GET OUT." The rage exploded back at you, like the flame had subsided only to bite back stronger than the last time. You were moving, running for the door with hot tears running down your face. Jin watched, watched you run from the room with his own tears appearing. All at once, the anger was gone. And so were you. He tried to process what he'd just said to you, his throat dry from the hurtful yells that had just escaped it seconds ago. He couldn't believe he'd actually said that to you. Jin shut down for a while after that, he spent the rest of the day in quiet silence knowing what he'd done was not something to be easily forgiven.

You had left him, staying up at night wondering what you'd done wrong. Was that it? Was he serious? Would he come looking for you? You couldn't tell, you didn't know, told yourself you didn't care. You let it be as you fell asleep.

Two days, two days later you woke up early morning to hear a knock at the door. No news from Jin, he had basically broken up with you so you didn't expect any. Tired, confused, you got to your feet and headed downstairs. You opened the door wondering who could possibly be there so early, only to see Jin standing on the other side.

"Y/N- wait don't close the door!" His hand extended, keeping you from slamming the door in his face. "Please hear me out."

You stood on the other side, your arms crossed. Jin felt like your eyes were prying at at his insides, reading all of his inner thoughts before he even said them. He swallowed, the angry Jin you'd seen days ago was no where to be seen.

"That was dumb. Me, I was dumb. What I said, I thought it was true when I said it. But its not. You dont make it all about yourself, you try to distract me. Try to make me feel better, and up until now I didnt realize you actually were making me feel better." It was quiet after Jin said, you thinking over his words and him waiting for you to say something. Nothing came. "Y/N?"

You opened the door a little wider, how could you ever get rid of him? You couldn't. "Come inside Jin, its cold outside."

"..Thank you. For not hating me."

Namjoon

It had all gone down so fast. One minute you were on the couch curled up on Namjoon's side, and the next you had pulled you like he'd just burnt you. Now you two were staring at each other, tension between your two bodies rising, the universe holding its breath waiting for one of you to make a move.

"What did you say?" You asked him.

"I said.. We should break up." Namjoon looked on edge, like he was saying something he wasn't so sure about.

"Why.." It came out as a breathy whisper, hard to talk when it feels like someone is crushing the air from your lungs.

"I don't have time. You deserve someone who can be there for you for all those special moments. Not someone who's always on tour." You could see the struggle in Namjoon's eyes telling you this. You nodded with understatement, and that was the last time you'd spent with him.

It'd been two weeks, two whole weeks that felt like they were the most difficult and lonely fourteen days you'd had in a long time. You were out at the store with a friend of yours, a guy you'd known for a long time who had come to comfort you. Namjoon saw you shopping with him, and the regret of leaving you built up too much to handle. Before you knew it, you'd been pulled off to the side by someone, and you were about to attack the intruder until you realized who it was.

"Namjoon?" You asked, surprised.

"Y/N." Namjoon fumbled for his words. "I'm sorry.. I don't know why I uh.. Who's that friend?"

You were suddenly angry at him, how could he just show up in your life like that again. How could he be talking to you like he hadn't left you feeling miserable. "Its no one. And last time I checked, neither are you." You made an effort to walk past him, but his hands were suddenly pulling you back. This time they were more desperate, needy and his eyes were brimmed with pain manifesting itself into tears.

"Y/N please. I know what I said and I've laid awake these past few weeks cursing myself for being a fucking idiot because I love you and I can't believe I thought letting you go was ever a good idea because I've been nothing but sad since then." Namjoon's words were a blur, and you didn't know when it happened, but you'd started crying too. "Please don't hate me." He lowered his head, you could see his hair looked ruffled and unwashed like he hadn't been caring for himself much. You wondered if he still used the same coconut shampoo, remembering how it smelled those mornings you woke up besides him.

"You really fucked up." You said.

"I know." He answered.

You were quiet, as much as you wanted to walk away from him you knew you couldn't. He meant the whole universe to you and you'd be damned if you lost your favorite planet. "I forgive you Namjoon."

"You.. You forgive me? Are you serious?"

"What do you want me to take it back?"

"NO! No! ... Thank you Y/N."

Yoongi

Why was Yoongi so angry? You didn't understand. You had noticed that he had been drawing back a lot lately, disappearing into his studio without saying much to you. At first you figured it was stress, but you seen realized it wasn't. It was different, he was emotionally distant. When you'd gone to confront him, Yoongi had started to snap at you.

"Stop!" You yelled. "Please, stop pushing me away. Why do you do that? Why can't you let me help?" You were urging him, hoping he could just lower his defenses and talk to you. But your words had lit another match at the back of his mind, and now he was firing more hurtful words back at you. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" He spat right back at you.

"Because I care about you! But it seems like you don't care about me. If you did you wouldn't do this. You.. You make me want to leave you!" Your voice swelled with pain, but Yoongi didn't even flinch.

"Go ahead then, what's stopping you? Go! I dont want you anymore, I don't want us anymore, I am so sick of you acting like you know everything, like you own me! So just get out already!" Hot tears were running down your face, had he just broken up with you?

"Are you crying? Seriously? Cut it out!" Yoongi didn't realize he wasn't yelling at you, he was yelling at himself. How could be be yelling at you for crying? He wanted to tell himself to shut up, to stop talking and apologize, but he had crossed the line of no return a long time ago.

"Do you think I want to cry?!" You suddenly yelled, knocking over a book when you flung your hands up defensively. Your anger competed with Yoongi's, who was not used to being the one being yelled at. He went quiet, he knew that he had really messed up, but the word 'sorry' had completely left his mind in the heat of the moment.

"I don't.. I don't want to see you. Not tonight, not tomorrow. Just let me be this time, Min Yoongi." And just like that, you were grabbing your coat and leaving. Yoongi could only watch you, wanting to follow but his feet were nailed to the floor. When he heard the door slam and the last trace of you was gone, Yoongi cried and fell back into his chair. Regret gnawed away at him, like a beast that had taken residence in his stomach the moment he'd decided to yell at you.

Yoongi didn't come to you that day. Or the day after that. But the day after that..You were curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the television when the doorbell rung. You brought the controller up to the screen and paused the movie, then got up to answer the door. Yoongi was on the other side.

"I brought you some dumb flowers. I know you like the purple ones, the ones with the white insides. But they were out." Yoongi's eyes were anywhere but your own, knowing he couldn't even look you in the face after what had happened.

"So I got you more flowers than usual, even though I know they can't possibly make up for my stupid words. Nothing really can." Yoongi was standing so truthfully in front of you, you know you should be angry. You should be telling him to leave, asking him if that was the best he had. Telling him to get out just as he'd told you. But you couldn't, not when you saw the tears that were building up behind his hard stare.

"I'm sorry Y/N. Im such an idiot. Please just tell me you dont hate me, tell me that's it's okay." 

J-Hope

You'd come to the building with a gym bag containing some extra clothes, Hoseok had called you over when he forgot it at home. You stopped in front of the practice room door and raised your hand to the doorknob. You froze when you heard your name from the other wide of the door, a small smile appearing on your face when you recognized that the voice belonged to Hoseok. You didn't mean to eavesdrop, you just wanted to hear what he'd said. You wished you hadn't.

"It's annoying. I wish Y/N could back off, I know she means well but sometimes I just want to shove her out of the room and tell her to let me be."

"Well, that's a little harsh hyung." Jungkook's voice, by the sound of it.

"I know, which is why I don't. But its hard, she's just a burden at times like this when I'm so stressed. It's like dating her adds too much unnecessary pressure."

The door made a loud clicking noise as you opened it, and the look on your face told the boys that you'd heard every word they'd said.

"Glad to know you feel that way. You know what might help? Having no girlfriend at all." You dropped the bag onto the floor, gave him a cold stare and left the practice room. You drowned out the sound of his voice, calling your name but this time calling for it to stay. Instead, you ran.

He stopped trying to call you after the third day of no response. No texts from you, no calls from you, Hoseok had began to think you'd disappeared off the face of the earth. You woke up one night to the sound of rasping on the window, crawling out of bed with a flashlight you were ready to swing as a weapon if needed be. You grabbed onto the ridge of your bedroom window, took a deep breath, and threw it open while readying yourself to swing. There was a scream from the intruder, and you almost screamed too until you recognized the voice.

"Hobi?! What the hell?" You sighed, releasing the fear that had just shook your body as you lowered the flashlight. Hoseok used to crawl on the roof when you were together, he used to say it was a romantic cliche thing to do. Till he stopped doing it the day he nearly fell off. Now he was back up on the roof in the middle of the night, giving you a sheepish smile. And a heart attack.

"I know you don't want to see me."

"You're right."

"But you have to hear me out. Please."

"No I don't." You tried to close the window but Hoseok yelped and stopped it.

"Y/N please! I'm sorry!" You paused, listening as he went on. "What I said, I was being dumb. You don't annoy me! You encourage me to be better, you push me forward, you help me relax and be happy, you stop me from doing dumb things!"

You couldn't help but smile, just a little. "I obviously couldn't stop you from getting up onto the roof huh." You didn't know why, but you weren't angry as you thought you'd be. I mean sure, a part of you wanted to shove him off the roof, but you couldn't be angry when you'd loved Hoseok so much. When you loved Hoseok still. And now he was smiling at your joke again, a smile that seemed to return the sun itself back into your solar system.

" I haven't stopped beating myself up about since the day it happened. Please forgive me for any pain I caused Y/N.."

[kindaresilient]

the lost empire

art by the talented @embracethelighting thanks so much hun!<33

wow! Im finally posting this and I am so excited! Thank you to the amazing @stupidnephilimlove for beta read it and to my amazing friend Lisbeth for the amazing art. 

This is the longest I have writen(?) and i cant with feels:') so i hope you love the concept and the story as I do.

can be read on ao3

“But afterwards there occurred violent earthquakes and floods; and in a single day and night of misfortune all your warlike men in a body sank into the earth, and the island of Atlantis in like manner disappeared in the depths of the sea.”

― Plato , Timaeus/Critias 

He heard it before it happened.

There was the sound of an explosion, followed by the rapid buzzing of ships flying high to surround the city in a desperate attempt to warn everyone. To save everyone.

It was soon followed by the sounds of the bells warning everybody about the threat, soon madness was unleashed.

People ran. Families grabbed their loved ones, to safety. He was overwhelmed, watching everything unfolding in slow motion, and he gripped his toy tightly.

That was until his mother pulled him out of his reviere.

Clutching him by the shoulders, shaking him and turning him around to stare at him with wide eyes, full of fear.

"Magnus c'mon!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him forwards. Towards where, he didn't know. He wanted to go back, at least to pick up his toy where it fell.

His mom, sensing this, shook him. "Magnus! Let it go. There's no time!" she pleaded with him.

That was when it happened.

A streak of blue lights, the same color as the crystal, engulfed her. Her eyes shone the same. Her body levitated from the ground, going limp, and she released his hand.

"Mama!" he screamed trying to reach for her as she went up in the sky and merged with the bright blue lights. Statues of stone formed a shield around them...protecting them from danger? Or pulling them into more?

He didn't know. He just wanted his mom. "Mama!" he screamed once more, tears streaming down his face. He felt his uncle's embrace then, shielding him from everything.

"Close your eyes Magnus," Ragnor mumbled as he hugged him. “Don't look."

He stared at the bracelet that fell from her wrist. It was the last thing he had left of her.

She was gone.

The city proceeded to plunge into darkness, swallowed by the unforgiving sea.

Alec couldn’t believe their luck.

First the giant robotic lobster that destroyed their submarine and cost them the life of almost the whole crew. Then all the obstacles on their way down, from walls to machines failing and bridges falling.

The fiery fireflies and the collapse took the price though.

He heard the screams of Isabelle as they descended, and he called out for his siblings and friends on the way down, hoping they would make it. Also, praying he would make it.  

Then everything went black.

Valentine lit a match illuminating the darkness. “Alright, who’s not dead? Sound off,” he grumbled.

It was soon followed by moans and groans of everyone alive.

Valentine turned on one of the car lights and looked around. “Isabelle, give me a damage report,” he asked.

“Well,” Isabelle started, checking everything with the lantern she was holding, “not as bad as it could have been. We wrecked two vehicles but the digger looks like it could still run. Lucky for us that we landed on something soft”  

“Pomez ash,” Simon exclaimed from a little mountain, playing with the dirt and looking awed by it. “We are standing in the base of an dormant volcano,” he went on.

Iris hit Simon in the head with a bengal and proceed to shoot upwards, watching the bullet go up. “It just keeps going,” she murmured.

“Maybe that’s our ticket out of here,” Jace said. In that moment, the bengal hit the roof and exploded.

“Maybe not,” Iris said with a grimace.

Simon fixed his glasses and gestures wildly with his hands. “The magma has solidified into the valves of the volcano and blocked the exit.”

"Hold on, back off, " Maia exclaimed, speaking for the first time. "You're saying this whole Volcano can blow any time?" She asked worriedly.

Simon got close to her. “No no no, that would take a massive explosion of grand magnitude to happen.”

They all turned their heads to Jace, who was fiddling with TNT. He looked up. “I probably shouldn’t do this here, right?”

“If we blow the top off, maybe we could get out of here. What do you think, Mr. Lightwood?” Valentine inquired. Silence answered. “Mr. Lightwood?” he asked again, looking around.

“Alec!” Isabelle screamed into the cave, looking around anxiously for her brother.

Alec slowly returned to consciousness, feeling like a train fell over him. Maybe it did. He opened his eyes slowly, things coming into focus...and suddenly facing strange tribal looking masks, worn by people with spears and arrows.

He did the sensible thing.

He screamed and gasped, trying to get as far away from them. His shoulder stung at the movement. He looked down and realized he had a bloody gash there, most likely caused by the fall.  At this movement, the closest one of the… tribal people took his mask off.

Alec was rendered speechless. He was the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen. The dark bronzed skin had blue patterns embedded in it, they covered all of him. His dark hair was streaked with silver highlights, his brown eyes shone like ambers and his glossy mouth, hung open, looking awed at something, at Alec. As if he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing.

Alec probably should pick his jaw from the floor and get his act together. He then remembered his wound and gasped in pain, grabbing his shoulder, and that seemed to snap the man out of his reviere because he came closer, invading Alec’s personal space and looked him in the eyes. Then he picked up the diamond that was hanging from his neck, put it over Alec’s wound and then touched it, blue lights coming from his hands. Alec was shocked at the feeling, and when the man removed his hands he realized the wound was gone.

Alec sighed in relief and the man smiled at him.

Of course, it was at this moment that the universe decided to interrupt them, in the form of the digger coming out of the wall, causing everything to tremble and scaring the tribal people. He couldn’t let them get away.

“Wait!” he got up, trying to chase them but damn, they were fast. “Who are you... where are you going!?” he kept screaming while trailing behind them. “Come back!”

He kept climbing rocks behind them and suddenly… he was standing in front of the most beautiful view he had ever seen. He barely noticed the others arriving, rooted in the spot at the sight of the enormous flying city surrounded by waterfalls and clouds and blue skies everywhere.  

“ Holy cow! ” Simon exclaimed somewhere behind him.

“It’s beautiful,” Izzy whispered.

Maia went to stand by his side and patted him in the back. “Lightwood, I’ve got to handed to you. You really came through.”

In that moment, they heard some kind of war screams and suddenly they were surrounded by the tribal man again, their weapons aimed at them.

“Oh, I take that back,” Maia said.

“Holy catch, who are this guys?” Valentine asked, reaching for his weapon.

Alec was still in some kind of dream. “They gotta be Atlanteans!”

“What?” Iris said. “That’s impossible.”

At this, one of the masked man started talking in some unknown dialect and pointing at them, like demanding an explanation.

“I think it’s talking to you brother,” Izzy murmured in Alec’s ear.

The tribal man continued, walking forward and talking to Alec. Alec stepped forward and spoke to the man, reassuring him they where here to do no harm.

Tha man removed his mask and -Alec realized it was the same beautiful man who healed him- asked him about their intentions, seeming surprised he knew the language.

Alec answered him, ‘they were exploring’ and again ‘they had no intentions of harming anybody’.

The man answered him with a big smile and Alec turned around to his companions. “They’re good.”

At that Valentine stepped forward, past Alec, and started speaking to them with a smile. “We are explorers from the surface world. We come in peace.”

The dark skinned man gestured behind him with a flourish to the city. “Welcome to the city of Atlantis.” He then proceeded to grab Alec by the hand, dragging him along like an excited kid. “Come, you must speak with my uncle now.”

Alec was happy to oblige, sue him. He barely noticed the others trailing behind.

The scenery was amazing. He didn’t know what to focus on. It was like a mix of lava and water, two juxtaposed elements combining together to create something surreal.

Because of the awe he was experiencing, he didn’t pay any attention to the other conversations, like the one between Iris and Valentine that would change everything.

“Commander, there wasn’t supposed to be anyone down here. This changes everything,” she told him.

“This changes nothing. Everything is going to plan,” Valentine snapped at her.

After a while, they were standing in front of two imposing stone doors. The guards opened it, revealing stones, vegetation and animals all living together in harmony. In the center, there was a stone throne with a huge lake in front of it. Sitting there was an old man with pale skin.

The dark skinned man stepped forward and kneeled in front of the old man.

“Greetings your Highness,” he started in atlantean. “I brought visitors.”

“Magnus,” the old man started, “you know the law. No outsiders may see the city and live."

Alec gulped hard and started panicking at this. Were they going to die? Just for seeing the city? This must be some sort of joke.  

"But Uncle! These people may be able to help us!" the dark skinned man exclaimed with pleading eyes.

"We don't need help," the king replied.

"But Uncle---"

"That's enough," the king said. "We will discuss this later."

Alec could feel the disappointment and sadness from the beautiful man. He felt the same. There's was nothing left to--

"Your Majesty," Valentine stepped forward, "on behalf of my troop,  may I say it is an honor to be welcomed to your city."

"Valentine. Commander," Alec hissed, "this isn't a good idea"

"You presume much to think you are welcomed here," the king replied.

"Sir, we've come a long way looking--"

"I know what you seek," the king interrupted Valentine, "and you're not gonna find it here. Your journey has been in vain."

"But sir, we are men of science," Valentine continued, "we're here in the pursuit of knowledge."

"You claim to be a man of science and yet carry weapons," the king retorted back.

"Weapons allow us to remove obstacles," Valentine replied.

"Some obstacles can't be removed just by force." The king got up at this. "Return to your people. You must leave Atlantis immediately."

Seeing things could get out of control, Alec got near to Valentine and whispered, "It’s best if we do as he says."

Valentine sighed at this. "We will leave. But may I respectfully request one night? It would give us time to rest."

The king seemed to ponder. "Fine. One night. Then off you must go."

That seemed to end the discussion and everyone turned to leave the throne room. Alec looked back and saw the dark skinned man give a sigh of resignation with watery eyes. Then the doors were closed.

"Your heart has softened Magnus. A thousands years ago you would have killed them all on sight." Ragnor sighed and lay down, watching his nephew stare at the closed doors.

Magnus turned around indignantly and approached, gesturing wildly with his hands. "A thousands years ago our streets were lit and our people didn't have to pick up scraps to eat at the edge of a crumbling city" he shouted.

"Our people are content," Ragnor told him.

"Our people don't know any better!" Magnus picked a wet drag and cleaned Ragnor's face,  "We were once thriving and now we live in ruins. The kings of the past would cry if they could see how low we have fallen."

"Magnus--" Ragnor chastised.

"If these outsiders," Magnus interrupted him, "have any way to help us understand our past, perhaps we can save our future." His eyes were pleading by this point.

"What they have to teach us, we have already learned," Ragnor retorted.

"Our way of life is dying," Magnus whispered.

Ragnor took one of Magnus’ hands between his, "our way of life is preserved," he told him. "Magnus, when you get the throne, you will understand." He cupped his nephew’s cheek with his other hand and Magnus nuzzled it and closed his eyes tightly so he wouldn’t cry.

"So how did it go?" Isabelle -Izzy- asked him excitedly as soon as the doors closed.

"I don't think the king and his nephew think alike when it comes to us" Alec told the team when they reunited outside. "He seems to like us, but I don't know, the King seems to be hiding something."

"If he is hiding something, I want to know," Valentine said.

"Yeah, someone needs to talk to that boy," Iris suggested.

"I can do it," Simon exclaimed happily from a corner.

"Someone with good manners," Maia commented.

"I have good manners!” Simon shouted.

"Someone with good people skills," Jace added.

"I will go!" Simon kept going.

"And who won't scare him away," Maia added.

"Someone who can speak the language," Isabelle commented.

"For the sake of the mission, I will go!" Simon insisted.

They were none having that, though.

"Thank you for offering, Lightwood. You're a good man." Valentine told Alec as he patted him in the back.

Alec was checking his language book, oblivious to the banter but perked up at this.  

He looked dumbfoundedly at the retreating team, leaving him alone to wait for the King's nephew.

Isabelle kissed his cheek and hugged him briefly. "Go get him, tiger," she told him with a wink.

He was screwed.

Alec watched from a column as the dark skinned man stepped out of the throne room. He went to hide and took a deep breath.

"Okay, you can do this," he told himself. "Don't take no for an answer. You have some questions and won't leave without answers. Yeah, that's it."

Alec stepped out from behind the column and started speaking when--

The man wasn't here. What that hell? He was just right here, walking the aisle of the throne room.

He sighed, already resigning himself when suddenly someone grabbed his arm in a lock and before he could scream covered his mouth with the other hand. He grabbed the wrist that was against his hand and felt warm skin under his fingertips and a breath against his ear. “I have questions for you” someone--the dark skinned man he realized-- murmured against his ear, breath hot with every word, “and I won’t take no

for an answer.”

He removed his hand from his mouth enough from Alec to mumble an, “okay but why--”

“Shhh,” he interrupted him, “come with me.” The man smiled and proceeded to drag him by his arms.

They climbed slippery rocks full of vegetation and vines,and ended up in some kind of forest.

“Oh, I have so many questions to ask you,” the man exclaimed excitedly as they stepped down from a rock, turning around to see him struggle for a bit. It was slippery, sue him. Apparently he was impatient because he grabbed Alec by the hem of shirt and tugged him down. “You are a scolar, right? I figured by your ugly set of clothes and that book you carry around,” he told Alec. “What is your country of origin? When did the flood reach there?” he started rambling.

“Eh, um, wait a minute,” Alec interrupted him. “I have a few questions for you too. So let’s do this. You ask one and I ask one, what do you think?” he asked nervously, afraid that maybe the man would say no. But he just gave him a reassuring smile and nodded.

“Very well” he said, swaying his shoulders a little. That movement shouldn’t be as entrancing as it was.”What is your first question?”

“How did you get here?” Alec blurted out and started rambling, “not you as a person, but your culture, as in all the people who live here, I mean--” he took a deep breath and tried to focus. “How did all this, end up down here?” he finally asked.

"It is said that the Gods became jealous of Atlantis," the man answered and started walking, "and that they sent a big cataclysm that buried us here. Honestly, all I can remember is that the sky turned dark and people were shouting. And then a blue light covered the city, it took my mother as if it was magic. My uncle told me it was calling for her. I never saw her again," he ended narrating, looking at his feet.

"I’m sorry," Alec told him, and he truly meant it, "if it is any consolation, I know how you feel in some way. I haven't spoken with my parents for a very long time and--wait a minute" Alec realized something, "what are you telling me? That you remember because you were there? That's not possible. That would make you like, an eight thousand years old man."

The man shrugged with a smile, "Yes, I am."

Alec stared at him dumbfoundedly, "Oh, okay… you look good." He blushed furiously after he realized what he said. He cleared his throat, trying to dissipate the embarrassment, "do you have any questions for me?"

"Yes," the man exclaimed, "how did you get here?"

"Well," Alec started, scratching the back of his neck, "it wasn't easy, but with the help of this book we found our way." He showed him the book and the man took it, looking through it.

"You can understand this?" he asked him, still not looking up.

"Yeah," Alec answered, "im a linguist"

"This right here, you can read this?" the man asked eagerly.

"Yes I can, just like you," Alec replied and saw how the face of the man fell. "You can, can't you?"

"No one can," the man answered, "such knowledge was lost when the cataclysm happened." He suddenly perked up, like the solution to all his problems was right in front of him, "you can teach me!" he asked - more like demanded.

"Um, yes, I guess I can--"

The man dragged Alec by the arm, "Come! You have to see this!" They halted in front of some kind of stone fish.

"...Is this a vehicle?" Alec asked.

"Yes, but no matter what I do it doesn't work." The man replied, looking a bit like a child throwing a tantrum. It was adorable.

Alec realized he was staring and snapped out it, focusing on the instructions that were on the stone fish.

"Did you try putting the crystal in?"

"Yes."

"Did you put your hand on the pad?"

"Yes."

"Did you turn the crystal to the right?"

"Yes!"

"While your hand was on the pad?"

"Ye--! Ah, oh. No, I didn't," the man answered.

Alec grinned and got up. "Well, that's your problem. That's an easy thing to miss, you deserve credit for getting this far honestly--" he shut up abruptly at the unamused face the man was showing. "Um, why don't you try it now?"

The man ignited the vehicle and started levitating. "It works!" Alec exclaimed happily and stared at him, who was also grining widly.

"I wonder how fast it goes." Alec touched something and the fish promptly moved forward and then made a zig zag, almost crashing into them if they hadn't ducked down. The fish crashed into a wall as Alec and the man stared at it.

After a bit the man started laughing and Alec couldn't help but smile. "So, who wants a ride?" He asked him jokingly and was rewarded with a smile.

Alec was so smitten.

They started walking again with apparently no destination, when Alec realized something.

"You know, we were never properly introduced. I’m Alec," he told him with a smile.

The man looked at him and smiled. "My name is Magnugakash."

"Magnuka-Magnuskash," Alec tried but for some reason he couldn't say it. "Is there a short version?" he asked, blushing a little. Hold it together, Lightwood.

"You can call me Magnus," The man - Magnus - replied.

“I can remember Magnus,” Alec answered with a small smile.

They kept walking and arrived at a river, and Magnus pointed at all the people who were fishing, working together. It was beautiful to see.

One man just caught some kind a lobster and threw it in Alec’s direction. He barely caught it, and the thing was thrashing and trying to bite him.

Magnus laughed and took the lobster from his hands and bit it hard on the neck. The lobster went limp immediately. “Here,” he said, putting it into the bag Alec was carrying around. “Tell me more about your companions. Your doctor, is he the blonde one?"

"No, that's Jace, my brother. His deal is explosives and such. Our doctor is Maia, the girl with the afro."

"Oh, so your mechanic is the one who keeps talking, then?" Magnus inquired.

Alec snorted. "No, that would be Simon. And he is our... dirt expert kind of guy. Our mechanic is actually my sister, Isabelle. She's the best."

"She sounds like it," Magnus told him. "It is time for dinner, we should get in."

They were in front of some sort of big, stone tent. Alec didn't even realized they’d arrived. He felt a hand tugging his own and looked up to see Magnus dragging him.

"Come, sit with me," he told him with a smile.

Alec had no objections.

They ate sitting close together, conversation buzzing around, his siblings and friends merging with the Atlanteans. At this sight, he dared to feel hopeful. He looked at Magnus, sitting close to him, talking and eating excitedly, smiling at everyone.

Alec smiled. Yeah, hope was a good feeling indeed.

Later on, Magnus took Alec on another walk. Magnus was carrying a lantern to show the path and they were surrounded by fireflies, casting lights and shadows on everything around them. Alec was honestly so mesmerized.

"You know, we were hoping to find buildings in ruins and broken pottery...but instead we find a living and thriving society." A firefly came to rest on Alec's arm and it tickled. Alec giggled. Actually giggled . "You know, these ones are kind of cute when they're no trying to set you on fire."

He looked up and saw Magnus had a sad expression. "We are not thriving," he began, "true, our people live, but our culture is dying, every year a little bit more."

Alec sighed. "I wish I could do something."

Magnus gestured around them. "I brought you to this place to ask you for help. There's a mural here, with writing all around the pictures--"

Alec got excited immediately at the prospect of helping. He took the lantern from Magnus and pointed it at the big stone. "You came to the right guy. We can start with this column right here and---Mm, Magnus, what are you doing?"  Alec asked him, a little stunned at the sight of Magnus stripping off his clothes.

Magnus shot him a smik over his shoulders as he continued to strip. "You do know how to swim, right?"

"Oh, I swim pretty boy," Alec blurted out and then cringed realizing what he said, "I swim pretty good, pretty good." He then stripped off his clothes too and was left in his trousers, joining Magnus at the big --river? lake?-- he was getting into.

"Good," Magnus said, giving him a knowing smile. Shit, he noticed his slip. "It is a big distance to where we are going."

Alec couldn't help but smile back through the embarrassment. "Lead the way"

Magnus took a deep breath and dived down. Alec followed soon after. They started diving through rubble and big pieces of stones of all shapes. Alec couldn't believe all of this was down here, wasting away.

They kept swimming for a while and Alec was starting to panic a little. Could Atlanteans breath underwater? Magnus seemed unfazed as he kept swimming but Alec was getting a little dizzy from holding his breath so long.

Finally they seemed to reach their destination, as Magnus got up for air in what seemed like the inside of an cave, followed by Alec who coughed his life out.

Magnus held his head between his hands and stared at him with a fond smile. "Are you alright?"

Alec coughed a little more and tried to smile back. "Well, I didn't drown so--"

"Good," Magnus exclaimed, "follow me," and he dived back in.

Alec sighed before submerging. The things he did for knowledge. He followed Magnus to the biggest set of stones that were there, all ancient texts and drawings being illuminated by the crystal hanging from Magnus neck.

They were close, Alec noticed. And promptly focused on reading and deciphering what was in front of him. Down there was not the place to die from staring a pretty boy. A very, very, pretty one.

Besides, he had a duty to fulfil.

He couldn’t believe what he was reading. He looked at Magnus and gestured for them to go up.

“I can’t believe it!” Alec gasped as soon as he hit the surface, followed by Magnus. “It’s the whole history of Atlantis, just like Plato described. I mean, he was off in some aspects but he got most of them right--”

“The streak of lights I saw,” Magnus interrupted him, and in this moment Alec realized how close they were. “That were in the middle of the city. What did the writings say about them?”

“I don’t know yet, but we are gonna find out.” Alec replied and dived back in. They studied the drawings from afar, getting close when some details caught Alec’s attention. Little by little he was understanding everything, making sense of it in his head.

He stared at the big drawing of what looked like big statues of men forming a giant crystal with their hands and everything clicked. He looked at Magnus and touched the crystal that was resting on his neck.

Magnus stared back at him, not understanding what he was trying to communicate. Alec pointed up, signaling for them to get out.

“It’s the heart of Atlantis!” Alec gasped once they were out.  

“What?” Magnus asked.

“I thought it was a power source,” Alec continued, grabbing the the crystal Magnus had, “but it’s actually the heart of the whole city, of the people, and the bright lights you remember. It’s all of it, somehow”

“But that’s impossible,” Magnus whispered.

“It’s what’s keeping you guys alive,” Alec said, a little too somenly for his taste.

“But where is it now?” Magnus asked.

“I don’t know, but there’s gotta be something in my book about it,” Alec replied and suddenly he realized how close they were, breathing the same air, Magnus staring back at him with wide eyes full of questions.

Alec gulped. Magnus looked beautiful and he was only human. He thought he saw Magnus’s eyes flicking to his lips for a moment. Could this mean…?

Magnus got closer, he could feel his breath against his mouth, but other than that didn’t make a move, giving Alec the chance to hold back.

Fuck it , Alec thought. He was surrounded by all the knowledge he’d craved all his life and he had a beautiful man in front of him. He deserved it.

Alec leaned down and kissed Magnus softly, sighing contently at the intake of breath Magnus took. Their lips molded perfectly like they were meant to be together, moving softly, testing the waters. They parted after a while, breathless and Magnus looking all god like with his bronze skin glistening with water, tattoos contrasting with it, lips parted, his inked hair with silver streaks pushed back, and eyes wide staring at him like he held all the answers. Maybe he did.

Right there in that moment, the real treasure was this extraordinary man in front of him.

[queendeanofpie]

Calling out ~ Einna (MyStreet)

AGAHSHBDBEEJDB my babyyyysssss

Little one shot of my oc and her hubby (well hopefully future hubby, and hubby in every other universe in the world.

I love these two so much, idk wat it is, but Even though Ein sucks, he just . . . He becomes good around her. It's so weird.

But anyways I love them, and I couldn't resist this Cus they so sweet! And it's angsty which I love with these two also.

Micheal plays a big part in their stories, and how everything went down with her past ;3

Enjoy!

~~~~

He tossed and turned, drowning in the mass of his blankets. Something was whispering around him, and he flinched every minute or so shuddering. Sweat collected as he got hotter, the whispering and murmuring growing, until he could just barely make out the words. it got fuzzier and louder and then suddenly stopped as he finally woke, staying still, as he breathed heavily eyes wide.

Ein

He jumped up throwing off the covers, a thud echoing from how hard his feet hit the ground. He quickly threw on a navy T-shirt, rapidly looking around to see if there was something different, before a tugging sensation in his gut told him to go out into the hall. He halted spinning around in the foyer, unsure where to go from there.

Ein . . .

He charged out the door onto the beach, the door swinging and slamming into the house with a loud bang, staying wide open as he ran for the voice looking everywhere he could finally stopping on the beaches edge, where it met with water.

I'm here Ein

He spun met with a sight that stole his air away, gazing at her. It was her, the voice, he reached for taking in the sight of her in the pale lilac shimmering dress, and her curls eloquently halfway put up, some still curling down her back.

He took her hands in his smiling slowly reaching up as their lips connected sending a surge of emotion into him, he never thought he'd feel from anyone ever again.

Love.

~~~~

Ein slowly woke up finding his blanket wound around his waist. He sighed sitting up shaking his head. There was a shuffle and someone knocked on his door.

Alpha?"

"what is it?" He mumbled running a hand through his hair closing his eyes.

"it's Daniel he wanted to talk to you . . . . .alone" Dottie's voice hesitated on the last part and Ein raised an eyebrow.

"Let him in . . . . ." He nodded and there was a click as Daniel shuffled in keeping his gaze away from him.

"I still hate you" He muttered looking up to glare at him with a fire in his eyes that Ein recognized

"Good to know" he laughed smirking and standing up "What did you want little runt"

"Don't call me that!" Daniel blurted, halfway growling at him Don't ever call me that please . . . anything else is fine He mumbled looking away wincing

"Alright you little brat, then what did you want." Eins voice got darker as he glared at Daniel for growling at him like that.

"I . . . I wanted help" he muttered gritting his teeth looking down "You already enslaved my friends . . . . But maybe you can at least figure out out to help jenny."

Ein stared at him raising an eyebrow "Who is this Jenny?" He crossed his arms thinking as he stared at him

"I thought you would have known, since her picture is all over the island" Daniel huffed "Jenna, she's sick . . . We didn't really know with what, but she hasn't woken up for a day, and one of our friends said she's been out for almost 5 days now"

"Daniel, is this a trick?" Ein growled slamming his hand down his end table "I don't know any Jenna, I have seen the pictures however, blond werewolf right?"

"Yes you do!" Daniel blurted snarling wolflike at him this time, the resent shining in his eyes "You ruined her life, she went to prom with you and then you broke her heart and her parents died!"

"No I didn't Daniel, I never went to prom in high-school, now where is she?" Ein growled in frustration, his words stirring something in the back of his mind.

"Fine! One more thing for you to lie about" Daniel snarled in his face before backing down sighing "She's in the other room . . . . The one you haven't checked"

Ein nodded glaring at him, as he followed him out the door, waving off the few who tried to follow them. Daniel opened the door revealing a small storage room with a cot against the far side of the wall.

Ein paused seeing the girl laying there, flashes of his dream coming back to him. "Daniel get out"

"No, I'm not leaving her to the hands of you, she's like my sister, Im not letting you hurt anyone else" Daniel growled stubbornly

"Fine but at least pretend not to be here then" Ein huffed ignoring him as he moved closer putting a hand on her arm checking her pulse

Ein almost flinched from the moment he first touched her, something like little static shocks going up his fingers. He eventually ignored it crouching to face her better staring at her in confusion, something beginning to stir in his mind

"What is her name?" His voice came out much softer than he liked but he didn't move as Daniel grumbled behind him.

"Jennabeth argentum"

" . . .Jenna. . . ." He sat thinking before, a green light shone in his eyes flashing before it disappeared. He stayed still shocked before suddenly it all came back. The prom night, fighting to see her in the hospital, thinking it was his fault. Even the lodge, wanting her by his side, keeping her in his control, something in her making him want to keep her close.

"Jenna?" He stared at her softly, remembering the dream clearer now. He had forgotten everything about her, it was as if he never met her.

Stop that . . .you don't deserve to say it like that" Daniel said his voice growing emotional suddenly as he tried to keep up a brave appearance, tears instead shining in his eyes.

"Leave . . . I swear I won't hurt her or do Anything Daniel" He sighed "I swear on my life that I wont . ." He added seeing his hesitation

"I shouldn't believe you . . . But I'll wait outside the door" Daniel growled before sighing heading out the door, discreetly wiping away the tears in his eyes.

Ein watched him leave before he turned back to Jenna taking her hand in his "How did I forget you . . . . It seems impossible" Ein looked down before his eyes caught sight of an empty potion bottle. memories of laying in the snow hitting him "Unless . . . . ."

"All you have to do, is drink these two little potions . . .They'll help you"

He growled shaking his head as he looked down slowly rubbing his thumb over their entwined hands thinking. Something flashed in the light and he frowned lifting her wrist, stunned to find a single silver pawprint imprinted on her skin.

"She's a white wolf . . . . ." He breathed "She . . . . She . . shes been chosen? and out of all the times now?" he looked down at her in shock, suddenly taking in the steady rise and fall of her chest, noticing that it was getting faster

Jenna slowly opened her eyes, Ein going still as he stared at her with a wide look. She blinked her eyes adjusting to the light before she looked over sitting up when she caught his eyes. Ein immediately let go of her hand backing up gulping.

"You . . W-Where am I! Where is Garroth, and the others!" She growled sitting against the wall on the cot as he shook his head.

"How . . . how the hell are you even here!" He growled turning defensive, starting to doubt everything that had happened, or that she was real. "This cant be . . . .I . . .I didn't remember you, you cant be the White Wolf"

"Well I am, and you should have remembered what you did to me you bastard!" She snarled

Ein, not having time to register what happened, was suddenly pushed against the wall and bright golden light was in front of him filling his eyesight. He went limp against his hold on the wall staring, almost mesmerized, as the golden light stared back blinking. The whispering suddenly came back full force, along with a high-pitched ringing that broke him out of his haze making him grit his teeth.

It slowly got louder and his ears began to hurt, a deep pain that ached and rang through his head. His hands covered his ears as he doubled almost holding his head groaning against the pain squeezing his eyes shut. The hold let go and he fell forward onto his knees bending over trying to block the sound causing him so much agony.

"Ei . ."

"E . . wha, . . . on . . .is happe . . ou?"

"Ein . . . can . . . me?"

A voice hovered on the edge of his hearing, a soothing sound compared to the agonizing screech echoing in his ears at the moment. He shook his head rapidly as he finally let out a whimper, and hands were pressed against his forehead.

He dropped his hands going limp as his forehead was pushed up a cold soothing sensation filling his head, getting rid of the agonizing ringing pain that had been there only a few moments ago. He fell forward once the hand disappeared, someones soft skin pressing against his as he was lifted into their arms, a small fever beginning to settle across his skin.

Images began to flash and Ein watched, as slowly, memories played over and over. Prom night, and then leaving, getting in a car. Tears and an aching pain in his heart. Then it was fire, and hot metal digging into his arm, twisting it desperately even with the pain. Then darkness, before light flooded his vision. It all started spinning, him at the lodge, her pale violet eyes tainted green, the strange feeling of hurt when it was gone and she fought him.

"Ein!" He was jumped awake suddenly aware that he was cold pressing against the warmth holding him, as he started shaking

"What . . what hap'nd" His words slurred as he felt a dizzy spell.

"Ein what are you doing?" Her voice drifted to him and he suddenly realized something. The memories, prom and the crash . . . those weren't his. He shook his head as fear took over, unsure what was going on as he shook his head choking on his words

"What . . what is happening to me?" his voice was small, and cracked with fear as he shook more "Why didn't I remember you, I never wanted to forget you"

"Real nice to know" She muttered "What do you mean you didn't remember me?"

"Didn't remember . . . . j-just . . . everything came back . . .prom night, there was a crash, I never wanted that" He choked out tears starting to fill his eyes "What happened to me . . . ."

"Ein . . ." He felt her stiffen "What . . . . what are you saying?"

He swallowed closing his eyes trying to think "There . . I was . . I got in a car . . .and I was crying, my heart hurt so much . . . and it was dark, then it turned to fire and everything was flipped . . .a-and then I was twisting my arm, the metal was so hot, it hurt so bad" He whispered slowly trying to recount the details.

"E-Ein . . .that . . . that was me" Jenna's shocked voice rang out and he nodded slowly

"I-I never wanted that . . .I tried, seeing you . . . wouldn't let me . . .snuck in when they weren't there . ." He breathed ". . . the lodge . . . you . . . you made me . . .made me . . . I needed you. . . it hurt, when you changed . . . fought me" He shook his head trying to clear the bout of dizziness that hit him

"I wanted . . .wanted you there, with me, didn't want you hurt"

"You . . . . did hurt me . . you turned me against my best friend . . .all my friends" She said bitterly

"I didnt want it . . . .I never wanted it, I wanted to get back . . . . I was given orders .. . . couldn't . . .couldn't follow though . . . did things my own way, never meant to hurt . . ."

"Orders? . . . you . . . you mean Micheal dont you?" Jenna said shocked

"Wanted to kill you . . . .didn't want it . . . .still wants it . . . I didn't remember . . ."

"How come you couldn't remember?" She asked softly

". . .potion . . . he . . he used a potion?" Ein became confused as the words from earlier came drifting back for the second time

"All you have to do, is drink these two little potions . . .They'll help you"

"Why . . .why would he want me to forget you . . . . you never hurt me. ." He whispered shaking his head ". . . .what have I done . . . . what happened to me, why do I care . . .caring just hurts me in the end"

". . . .because a white wolf can sense a heart in you" was her reply as she sighed pulling away from holding him keeping him upright, and putting her hands on his shoulders ". . Ein . . . . Lutimas give second chances . . . . why do you think caring hurts you in the end?"

"Cared . . . .cared too much about my friends in the pack . . . and they called me soft . . . parents abandoned, killed . . . . . . Everyone resented me for being an orphan, caring always hurt me . . . Michael gave me a way not to care" He mumbled looking down.

"That doesent make sense . . . . if Aphmau . . . if I had never cared . . .why would we have become friends with you in highschool . . . . why would I have gone to prom with you?" She asked swallowing the lump in her throat trying to sort all the information he had given her

". . . . she . . she pitied me he said . . . you . . . why . . . .why you?" He became more confused staring up at her as he tried to think.

". . .Ein . . . I actually cared . . .I-I liked you, there was no reason I would have had otherwise . . ." She said her eyes watering at the memories

"You . . . . you cared?" He echoed her eyes going wide, as he thought back to the dreams, the pale lilac dress shimmering, and her warm violets, and the way her curls cascaded over her back and shoulders in a way that stole his breath. To the way her eyes had shined just before the final dance, when he held out his hand to her, and her smile, the one that made his heart swell.

Ein finally found something that made sense, with all the craziness that had just happened to him. He stayed silent relaxing as it kept echoing in his head, making his heart speed up in his chest.

She cared . . . .she cared about me.

Impulse took over, and before she could react he grabbed her face with his hands leaning forward as he smashed his lips with hers, sparks crawling up his skin as his mind cleared all of his thoughts disappearing, as the only thing he became aware of was her.

This made sense.

~~~~~~

[looselucy]

November

I had never been good at goodbyes. The first goodbye I really remember, was when our pet dog Timmy died, and I forced my mum and dad to give him a funeral, and I probably cried for about a week. Another stand out goodbye in the list of many, was my brother moving to uni, and that was very reasonable for me to be a mess of tears and tantrums, because I hadn’t seen him since he left. One of my most recent goodbyes, was when I moved to university. I was only a few hours away from my parents and our new dog, Timmy-Two, but I absolutely had a breakdown when they dropped me off there. To be honest, they were no better, which was predictable behaviour from Phil and Lisa, always emotional, especially when it came to their darling daughter. The whole thing was atrocious when they left, watery eyes and inaudible sentences and desperate hugs and it was so pathetic I nearly vomit even thinking back to it. And then this one. This goodbye, was just as shit as the rest.

“I promise I’ll come visit!” Grace insisted. I sobbed as I hugged her, not wanting to look at that stupid pink suitcase she had packed behind her, wanting to kick it over or pull all her clothes out and throw them everywhere just to keep her with me a bit longer. “Or,” I sobbed uneasily. “You could just stay!” “Sorry, Pippa, but the uni life is just not for me.” I just kept sobbing, but sobbing this time seemed more plausible than when my parents left, because there was no guarantee she would come back. She promised me she would, but I knew that wasn’t enough. It’s strange, being at uni. Friendships develop so quickly it’s hard to even keep track of how close you all get. And with Grace being in the room next door to mine on our floor, from moving in on September 15th, to November 1st, it was safe to say she was my best friend. I was besotted with her, and I really didn’t want her to leave. She hated her course though, and she dropped out before it was too late, before she was too committed. Not even the end of the first term in our first year, and she was leaving. I was really going to miss her. “Alright, alright!” Zayn barked from beside me. “You’ve been hugging her for about ten minutes now, you’re being selfish, Pip! Let me have a go.” Tears kept rolling down my face as I gave her up for a moment, the rest of the gang moving in to give her a goodbye hug. There was me, Grace (before she selfishly decided to leave) Zayn, Mike, Tally, and Ringo. (I had still to learn Ringo’s real name, she was a quiet one, and a Beatles fan, I think.) Everyone was saying their goodbyes, but no one was quite as emotional as I was about her leaving. They all gave her their hugs and farewells. “You best stay in touch!” Tally instructed. “I will! I promise! God, you’re all so dramatic.” Everyone kind of laughed except me. I was not amused. Zayn moved and gave her a kiss on the head before I took over again, hugging her so tightly it was like I knew for a fact I would never see her ever again. Like I said, I’ve never been good at goodbyes. “You’re an emotional wreck.” She giggled once everyone else had rekindled back in the kitchen, giving us our space. “How many times do I need to promise?” “But I’ll miss living with you.” I tried to calm down. “I love you being here.” “I’ll be back before you know it.” “You better be!” “I’m gunna miss my train...” She groaned. “Fine.” I shot, pulling away from her and wiping away my tears. “Go. Leave me here alone to die.” She backed out of the door, grabbing her suitcase and looking at me whilst giggling. She did always say that she liked how I got emotional about little things, like songs and films and TV shows. But I had calmed a little, finally. I stood in the doorway giving her the weakest smile I could summon. “Gunna miss you, Girl.” She smiled. “You too. Get home safe, okay?” I sniffled. She nodded, and I knew she was emotional too, but she wasn’t the crying type like I was, so the goodbye was lacking tears on her part. I think I cried enough for the both of us. We said goodbye a final couple of times, and by the time she was in the elevator going down to the bottom floor I was relatively calm, wiping away my final few tears. I slumped past our bedrooms as I walked down the corridor, three doors on each side, making my way to the kitchen and living room area of our halls, where they all sat giving me sad head tilts, knowing how close we were, how much I would miss her. I stuck my middle finger up to the lot of them, making them laugh awkwardly, as Ringo quietly went back into her room. Defeated, I flopped down on the sofa and huffed out my sorrow as Zayn tucked me under his arm, kissing my forehead once before we nestled comfortably together. “I can’t believe she’s actually gone.” Mike sighed. “Just like... ‘cause she mentioned it on day one and then stuck around... I kinda thought she was all talk.” That’s what we had all been hoping, because Grace was one of those people who could walk in a room and make everyone’s day a little bit brighter; she could cheer up anyone just by smiling or telling a small joke. She was incredible. “You’re just gutted you didn’t get a chance to shag her.” Zayn chuckled. “Mate, I’m gutted with my sex life full stop! Not just when it comes to her! She was more wife material anyway, I’ll hunt her down in a few years.” I tried to laugh but I really wasn’t in the mood, I just kept staring at the tele as Zayn traced comforting circles on the top of my arm with two fingers, staring at the TV too. We had gotten lucky with our flat, we were in one of the better-quality student accommodations, so everything was modern and nice. The only downfall really was the communal shower rooms, which for some odd reason were placed past the living room and kitchen, so everyone got a good sight of you dashing through in a towel and dripping on the floor whilst they tried to watch TV. But our rooms were lovely, the whole thing was pretty lovely, so we knew it would only be a short amount of time before a student on a waiting list would take Graces now empty room. “How long you gunna be sad for, Pippa?” Tally asked me as she balanced her plate full of pasta on her knees, given we had no table. “Dunno. Could be years. Maybe I’ll never get over it.” “Well you’re gunna have to ‘cause we’re definitely going out tonight!” Mike tried. “I can’t.” I shrugged. “I’m in at nine.” “Pussy!” “Fuck off, Mike!” I giggled, throwing the nearest cushion at him. “Reyt!” He chirped, moving back to the hall. “It’s wank o’clock. See you all soon!” Zayn was in stitches as Mike strolled out of the area and into his room, Tally was trying her best not to laugh but I could see she was failing miserably. “I never knew living with lads would be such a cliché!” I groaned through a stifled laugh. “You lived with your brother, didn’t you?” Tally giggled. “Yeah, but he never announced when he was going for a wank, thankfully.” That just made Zayn laugh even more, he was absolutely creasing next to me, having to move his arm from around me and cover his face. I started to think how even without Grace, I would be fine, because that lot meant the world to me. I shook my head and stood myself up, walking over to my food cabinet and grabbing out a packet of crisps, standing and leaning rather than sitting back down with Zayn, who was still chuckling away to himself. “You sure you can’t come out tonight?” Tally sulked, looking over her shoulder to me. “I really shouldn’t.” I huffed. “You haven’t missed a lecture in like... three weeks.” “To be fair, that is really good.” And it was. The first year of uni seemed to be a complete write-off, and my brother had said exactly the same thing. You could pretty much take the piss in your first year, and still pass. He told me that second year was a little bit harder but you could still go out most days of the week and miss a fair few lectures. However, in his last year, he sounded like he was going to have a mental breakdown he was working so hard. So in my head, I still pretty much had two years of fun left. Missing one lecture, for the first time in almost a month, couldn’t be too bad. And I did need cheering up. Zayn stood himself up and moseyed over to me, hooking his arms around my waist and I put mine over his shoulders, both of us swaying in our hug. “C’mon, Pippa. We have to go out, the only way to deal with sadness is drinking.” “Sad, but true.” I agreed. “So,” He grinned, pulling away from me. “We going out?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but obviously I was smiling anyway, caving into the idea of going out and possibly missing a lecture. “Fine.” I breathed. “Let’s do it.” + + + We passed the shots I had bought down the line, Zayn banging his hand on the bar eagerly. It was me, Mike, Tally and Zayn. We had tried to convince Ringo to tag along with us, but she was having none of it, said she had too much work to do. We always tried with her though, and it’s not that we thought she didn’t like us, she was just so withdrawn. But there was nothing we could do other than try. The line of shots made their way down the group, each of us having three each; one red, one green, one purple. I had always been terrible at shots, so I had no idea why I bought them, especially three at a time. Seemed pretty stupid, but there we were. “Alright, on the count of three, we do red!” Zayn shouted, as though he was some kind of soldier ready for war. “We have five seconds before we move onto purple, and a maximum of ten seconds, before we go onto green. Are you with me?” “Shut up, Zayn.” Tally laughed. “I SAID ARE YOU WITH ME?” He shouted in her ear. If I had already taken my first shot I would have spat it out laughing, but thankfully I laughed without spitting the substance everywhere, having a minute to calm down before Zayn counted to three, and we did as we were instructed. I was doing alright until the third shot, whenn I felt like I was going to throw up all over the bar, but luckily, I didn’t. I counted to eight seconds out of my given ten before I finally did the last shot, feeling their affects so quickly, it almost felt like a waste of time that I wasn’t dancing. It took me a little bit longer than the rest to recover, they were already on their way to the centre of the dancefloor by the time I pushed away from the bar, stumbling a little as I did before regaining my balance and dancing over to them, a cheeky, somewhat tipsy, smile on my face. Another thing I loved about uni is that I had come across a group of people who were exactly the same as I was on a night out. None of us gave a shit, and our terrible team dancing was what made our nights so much fun. I’d say around half an hour of intense boogying passed before Zayn signalled that he wanted a cigarette, and he knew that it was likely I would join him after a drink, so I did. We wandered to the heated outside area, which was one of the good things about our favourite club, Thimble, though after many discussions we still couldn’t figure out why that was the name they had chosen for a club. Zayn handed me a roll-up, and placed one in his mouth, getting out a lighter and sparking mine for me before he sparked his own. Within seconds, out of nowhere, two arms grabbed Zayn from behind, right around his waist as the mystery man lifted him in the air, making a girly scream irrupt from him lips, which brought in a couple of eyes and a couple of laughs. As soon he was dropped, he turned around to find the culprit. “Fucking hell, Louis!” He gasped, slapping his palms against the boys cheeks. “I nearly shat me’self, you idiot!” “Alright, Lad!” The other one said as they started hugging. I think I had heard Zayn speak of this Louis before. He was on his art course with him, but what Zayn had apparently forgotten to tell me was that he was absolutely gorgeous. I stared at him as the two of them interacted, and I was a little entranced. He was all slicked back hair and black clothes, turtle neck, freshly shaved, striking eyes. He was beautiful. After a while Zayn turned back around to me, grinning like he didn’t see Louis every bloody day at his lectures. He was acting like he hadn’t seen him in years. Classic effect of alcohol. I gave Zayn a look, a look that said, if you don’t introduce me to this God of a man now I will kill you. “Oh shit.” He mumbled. “Umm, Pip this is Louis. Louis, this is Pippa.” He moved in and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I already knew he was charming too, which was frustrating. I couldn’t cope when boys were attractive but charming too, it was always too much to take in. “Nice to meet you.” He said as he pulled away, looking me up and down. “You live with Zayn, yeah?” “Right across from him.” I nervously replied. “Are you the one who cries a lot?” He smirked. I sucked in air through my teeth, cringing that of all the things Zayn could have said, that was what he had decided to pass on. “Umm...” I let out a breathy laugh. “I get emotional about things.” “Every time I watch E.T. I cry like a baby, don’t worry about it.” “To be fair,” Zayn chirped. “I cry at Finding Nemo.” ”No, fair shout man!” Louis looked deadly serious. “At the beginning-” “When his wife dies!” Zayn gawped. “And Nemo is the only baby left!” “It’s absolutely heart breaking.” “Heart breaking.” Louis repeated. It struck me quite quickly how similar Louis and Zayn were, and I knew why my flatmate had raved about his friendship with the blue-eyed boy. I shook my head at them, taking a drag of the cigarette Zayn had rolled me, my head spinning slightly, half of me ready for bed and the other half ready to carry on my terrible dancing. Behind myself and Zayn we heard someone shout Louis’ name. ”Gotta run.” He smirked again. “Nice to meet you, Pippa.” “You too!” I cooed, blushing as though he had complimented me. ”Zayn.” The two slapped their hands together before clasping their hands tights together. “See you tomorrow, bro.” “Later, man.” Louis bounced off to the lad who had shouted his name, yelling and cheerful and 100% attractive in every way ever possible. Jesus wept, I was actually impressed by him, I just wanted to eat him up on the spot and leave nothing for anyone else. As soon as I knew he was out of earshot, I slapped Zayn hard on the arm, hitting that stupid tiger tattoo, his arms completely on show thanks to the fact he cut the sleeves off his t-shirt. “Ouch!” He laughed. “What was that for?” “Why the fuck does your stupidly attractive mate only know me for the fact I cry?” “I don’t know! I’ve told him other stuff.” “Right. Like what?” “Like... how you throw up on hangovers sometimes.” “Brilliant, Zayn. Thank you.” I couldn’t stop smiling even though I was shaking my head. His apology to me was him wrapping one arm around me and pulling me to him, giving me a kiss on the forehead, still chuckling away to himself. He moved out, extending his little finger, waiting for my finger to link up with his. “Alright.” He laughed. “I pinky-promise, I will say better things about you in the future. I’ll make him think you’re a goddess.” “How exactly?” I giggled. “Umm... I’ll tell him about how Finn said you’re really good at giving head.” “Y’know what, don’t say shit, Zayn. Let’s just let him forget I exist.” That probably made him laugh ever harder, grabbing me by the shoulders as I turned around, both of us throwing our cigarettes on the floor and making our way back inside, ready to find the rest of the troops. Zayn steered me off towards the bar before we joined the team again, where he purchased me two more drinks, that completely tipped me over the edge. + + + I awoke on the floor in my room, still in my dress from the night before, one side of my face dinted from the bumpy carpet beneath my skin. My eyes opened slowly, and I recognized the spot immediately, this not being the first time I had awoke on the floor, literally inches away from my bed. I had no idea why I did that, I swear to god it must have been a decision I made when I was drunk, though in the morning I could never recall why I would ever think it was a good idea. I groaned and cursed to myself as I moved. I first readjusted my arm, and in the process knocked over and entire can that I had open next to me, beer soaking into my already ruined carpet. I hurriedly stood the can back up, though a good 90% of it had already spilled so there was literally no point. My head was pounding, every joint in my body ached like fuck as I sat myself up, rubbing my eyes, not really caring about the fact I must have been rubbing my mascara all over my face. All I knew was that I needed water, or a cup of tea, or something that would help mend my broken body. “Holy. Shit.” I grumbled to myself. I stumbled to my feet, nearly falling forward and whacking my head against the desk that sat ahead of the window, which looked out to what seemed to be an endless line of student accommodation. The only thing that got me through that hangover was the thought that there had to be a student in one of those buildings who was feeling even worse than I was. There just had to be. Luckily, this was one of those hangovers where I didn’t feel like throwing up, I just needed drink and food and possibly a cuddle, even though my usual person to cuddle was Grace, and that option was out of the window. I found my phone on the desk, checking what time it was and seeing it was almost 12pm, only an hour until my lecture finished. “Fuck!” I don’t know how I thought that I was going to manage getting there at 9am after drinking so heavily. Basically, I knew I wasn’t going to go, but I still kicked myself for it, I still got so annoyed with myself for not making it. I pulled my dress down to cover my dignity, all that was left of it, before turning on the spot and heading towards the door, eager to get some fluid in my system that wasn’t alcoholic, scraping my hair to the side slightly and catching a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror on my door. Surprisingly, my makeup was relatively intact, but there was no denying I was an absolute state. I tugged on the handle to my door and opened it slightly, poking my head around the corner and looking to the left down the corridor. Judging by how quiet it was, everyone was still sleeping, or in a lecture. The kitchen was so quiet it suggested that anyway. I fell through my door and groaned to myself as I scurried down to the kitchen, screeching to myself as I made the short journey, feeling so painfully sorry for myself you would have never thought my pain was self-inflicted. As soon as I step foot in the kitchen, which was still stupidly quiet, my heart caught tight in my throat, stumbling backwards and shouting out my shock. “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” The random boy that was stood in our kitchen whipped his head round to catch a glimpse of me, eyes going up and down my body as he chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as he looked back towards his drink, continually dipping a teabag into the mug of hot water in front of him. “Nice.” He huffed, grinning to himself. “Shit. Sorry. You’re very quiet.” “I am.” He turned to look at me. He was extremely striking. I think it was his sharp jawline, how tanned he seemed to be, which was near impossible given the UK’s climate, so that was noticeable right away. “Did Tally bring you back?” I asked, hesitantly moving towards my food cabinet. It wouldn’t be the first time Tally had brought home a ridiculously attractive boy, in fact, she did it often. She had a way about her, an aura, boys flew to her like flies on shit, and she lapped it up. This guy had to be her best effort though. His hair was short, messy and brown and curly. He was topless, just a pair of running shorts on. It revealed to me his perfectly toned body, which had one very noticeable tattoo. An enormous butterfly on his stomach. I caught glimpse of it and then decided not to stare, but I remember thinking that was odd. He didn’t have any other tattoos, just that one. “Who?” He baffled. That threw me, I couldn’t think of any other plausible reason he would be in our flat. I certainly hadn’t brought him back, I would remember him. And Ringo hadn’t even gone out. I then thought maybe he was Ringo’s secret boyfriend, and was silently congratulating her in my head. “Sorry, I thought you were one of Tally’s conquests.” “I live here.” He replied. My eyes went wide. That was the person who was going to replace Grace. That guy. Jesus wept, I had only just gotten used to bloody Zayn walking about the place, even Mike wasn’t all bad, and then that one? I swore that people had not been so insanely attractive at school, or college. I moved to uni and then suddenly there was just a gaggle of attractive men and I for one, was not good at coping with attractive people. I became a nervous wreck and found it hard to structure sentences. “Y-you live here?” I pointed to the floor. “Just moved in this morning.” “Oh.” I gawped. “You live here?” He leant against the kitchen top. “Umm, yeah. In the last room on the right. First room on the left. Umm…” “The room next to mine?” He smirked. “Yeah.” He probably knew the effect he had on girls, he was stupidly confident, not struggling in the same way I was. I suppose it was partly down to the hangover, I figured maybe I would be better later on, or the day after, or next week… I would learn to deal with it at some point. After a few moments of awkward silence, he breathed in through his teeth, making it even more awkward, and pushed away from the counter. “Better go unpack.” He coughed. “I imagine I’ll see you around.” “Probably.” “What’s your name?” “Pippa.” “Pippa?” “Pippa Payne.” “Pfft, seriously?” He scoffed. “You sound like a character from an Enid Blyton book.” I just lowered my eyebrows and looked at him in a complete state of shock as he walked away, laughing and shaking his head, removing himself from the kitchen and going back to his room. I stood there unable to think of something to say, how snotty he had been and how he just did not care that he made that comment about me. True, it wasn’t the worst thing he could have said, but it just amazed me that he burst that out to me during our first interaction. I hadn’t even had the chance to learn his name so I could make some snotty comment back. I got a pint glass out of my cupboard and filled it to the brim with water, before practically running and banging on Zayn’s door, loud and ignorant. “Bet a tenner that’s Pippa.” I heard him yell from inside. “How am I supposed to win this bet?” I yelled through the wood. “By not being Pippa.” “But I am Pippa.” “Well then you owe me a tenner.” I huffed, rolling my eyes and letting myself in. Zayn, like most people, had managed to get himself in bed even though he was stupidly drunk. His bed was to the right as I walked in, a mirrored version to mine since he was just across from me. I stared down to him with serious eyes after having slammed the door shut. He let out a confused laugh as he looked up to me. “What?” He gawped. “We have a new person.” I whispered. “What?” “A new person. A boy. And he’s just taken the piss out of my name.” He uneasily lifted himself so he was upright in his bed, taking in what I was telling him. I hurriedly moved and put my water on his desk, before sitting at the end of his bed, still looking at him with the most intense look on my face. He ran his hands over his eyes and through his hair. “Grace literally moved out less than twenty-four hours ago.” He groaned. “I know, and they’ve replaced her with a twat. A really attractive twat.” “What did he say?” “Something about a character, something... I dunno, but I didn’t like it!” “Give it a week and you’ll be his best mate.” Zayn huffed. But he was far from right. Because over the next few days, I was going to discover that my new flatmate and I were not going to be friends, not at all.

[waitinginthedarke]

Sometimes Rain Falls

A BTS Fanfiction

Type: AU/Alternative Universe

Summary: Sometimes a normal life is a good one to lead; its nice…its easy… But sometimes, normal isn’t the way that things were meant to be. And when you’re chosen as a possible candidate for one of the kingdom’s 7 princes, life isn’t as nice and easy as you always presumed it to be…especially when you catch the eye of more than one of them…

Trailer

Masterlist

A/N: Buckle up kiddos, its a long’un!

Epilogue

The sun rising over the horizon through your bedroom window has you squinting against its bright light, grumbling against the onslaught of the morning and the list of things you had to do that immediately begins to reel through your mind, before swinging your legs over the side and getting to your feet, stretching as you finally open your eyes to let the day in.

You’d dreamt of him again last night.

Who are you?

Ever since the morning you’d woken up to go to the princes’ parade, and your mind had recalled the incredibly vivid images of a brunette prince, with a smile as bright as the sun and eyes as kind as a doe, you’d been struck by the realness of the man, the dream continuing to recur for the past week, even despite your disappointment at not having been picked to be a princess at the celebration…

However, since then you’d continued to dream of this elusive price, and, as each night had gone by, you’d noticed that the dreams had begun to change slightly…

The first time he’d appeared behind your eyelids, you’d simply seen his face as he stood across from you in a small beautifully blooming meadow that dropped off to the side into a cliff face, whilst the remainder of the space was cut off by bushes, almost like the area was its own entity.

The entire time you’d watched him you’d felt a pull toward him, like you wanted to embrace him but something unseen was holding you back, stopping you from getting any closer, from knowing anything more about him. However, before you could ever even act on the desire you could feel burning inside of you for you to touch him, you’d woken up to the morning struggling over your window sill and you’d immediately set to your days tasks to try and forget the uneasy feeling the dream had left you with, finding yourself starting at any man with brunette hair that you’d walk past, before frowning when you realized it wasn’t the right shade of chestnut, or that it didn’t shine as brightly as the image of his hair in your mind.

The second night, you’d been surprised to find yourself a step closer to him, although still unable to get any nearer.

However, from that distance you’d been able to make out the tired circles beneath his eyes, the sight making you slightly sad despite the warm smile he was offering your way, and so when you’re unable to move closer once again you find yourself becoming distressed, not paying attention as to why, before his face is fading away and you wake up once again, this time in a cold sweat, and being greeted by the sight of the sun timidly sat on the horizon, as though it was waiting for your permission to enter your room and wake you from the dream.

The third night you’d been closer still…but this time, things had been different.

Where before the man’s face had seemed tired and drawn, this time, being closer, it was revealed to you that the circles under his eyes weren’t black but a reddish purple, the lines of his face seeming longer in some way, and when he smiles at you this time, you’re startled to watch the way his eyes flash with white, almost as though his vision was interrupted by static, leaving an unclear image in front of you, before its replaced by the dark creeping in around you.

But just as you go to panic when you wake up in your bed, restrained by sleep paralysis and feeling the presence of the dark creeping in around you, you close your eyes desperately once more and are surprised to see the same man watching you with concern, his hand reaching out to hold yours, the sensation feeling so real that you’re almost tempted to open your eyes. However, with the way he was watching you, you felt your heart reach toward him in your chest, and you try your best not to let him go.

But moments later your eyelids are forced open by the sun rising high in the sky outside your window, and you’re propelled quickly into your days’ routine.

The next couple of nights develop to the point where you end up stood in the arms of the man, becoming completely attached to him, almost against your will, but not feeling any regret about it, simply wanting to stay with him without stopping, feeling like you wanted him…needed him …to live. You could smell him perfectly, his musky, oaky scent having you drowning in him as you gripped onto his ruffled silk shirt with everything you had, the feeling of his arms clutching you tightly being so real to you that there were ridiculous moments where you open your eyes expecting to look up and see him, only to do so and be met with the darkness of your bedroom…

…And then you’d woken up that morning…and something in your brain had changed.

Because before you’d been holding off believing that the man was ever real, choosing to believe that he was a creation of your mind, and that you’d probably live the rest of your life wishing you could find him.

But upon waking up to the sun greeting you in a warm embrace through the window, you catch onto the sound of your mother talking to your aunt in the garden about the Prince’s parade the previous weekend…

…and you realize just where the man in your dreams had come from.

Or rather…where he’d appeared to you once… after the dreams had begun…

At the Princes’ parade.

He was one of them.

The rest of that morning had been spent in your head, messing up your tasks and being scolded by your mother and father before you’d moved onto the next one after remedying your mistakes. However, its when you’re left to brush down the family mare in the barn later that day, distractedly watching the sun regretfully fall back behind the hill, almost praying for you to stop it from leaving, that a sudden image is pushed so forcefully to the front of your mind that you stop everything and find yourself closing your eyes as it plays like a tape in your mind.

‘Explain to me why I can remember, if you’re supposed to be the only one that knows you’ve turned the clock back.’ You say, looking up at him with a determined expression and seeing his brows crease just the tiniest fraction.

‘Honestly, im not sure…the only reason Namjoon knew was because I told him, and because his power is the removal of memories, the moment I told him that I’d done it, the memories he’d taken all came back to him and he remembered everything. There are some loopholes in our powers…but you shouldn’t have been able to remember anything, unless-‘

‘Were you ever going to tell me any of this if I didn’t remember?’ you ask, feeling slightly frustrated by the obvious ruling out of telling you about his family and what they really were, but even as you were trying to silently tell yourself not to be ridiculous, that Hoseok was just trying to protect you, you weren’t paying attention to the way the prince beside you had become lost in his own thoughts, his frown much deeper than before.

‘Your father and mother…they’re just farmers aren’t they? Your family has always been farmers, right?’ Hoseok asks suddenly, turning to you with a hard gaze and you widen your eyes at the sight, nodding your head woodenly as an instant response, before frowning yourself at the blunt question.

‘Why? Why does it matter whether or not they’re just farmers?’ you demand, trying to pull him back down when he suddenly stands up, but your grip on him seems like nothing as he pulls his hand distractedly from your grasp, pacing to the window before just as suddenly turning back to you.

‘I have to talk to Namjoon. I need you to stay here, just for a little while, okay? You’ll be safe here. I promise I wont be long, but I think-‘

‘Wait! Why cant I come with you?’ you ask as quickly as you can, but he’s cutting off your words with a kiss, his hands cradling your face gently and you almost sink into his touch, before he’s pulling back and staring intently down at you.

‘Its safer for you to be in here. Remember what I said- don’t walk the corridors alone. I promise you, Jagi…I’ll be back in a little while. But if I don’t speak to Namjoon now…-there’s not a lot of time. Just stay here, and you’ll be safe. I’ll come back to you, Beautiful.’ He murmurs hurriedly, kissing you once more before suddenly disappearing, the sound of the door closing quietly makes you turn your head in its direction, but Hoseok had already gone.

The suddenness of the memory, as well as the complete surety of itself as a memory, despite its completely confusing context, has you stuttering in your movements, frowning at the horse’s flank in front of you and your hand falls heavily to your side as you attempt to drag the memory back, but you slowly lose grip on the image of him, and end up simply being left with the feeling of his lips against yours.

What was that?

...and why had it felt so real?...

Its at that moment that you become aware of being watched, the creeping, hair-raising tingling on the back of your neck causing you to tense up with the quietest sound of a foot scraping over soil, and after a quick strengthening of your resolve, you spin around to scan the yard behind you-

-only to be met with nothing but the shrubs beside the house, and the field that stretched out behind…

That night, things got a lot worse.

As soon as the dream crept up on you in the form of the warmth that was always provided by his smile, you become aware of an emptiness about the meadow you found yourself in, the calm you usually felt being replaced by suspense and hesitation as you realize he wasn’t actually there; that instead of being greeted by his angels face, you’d simply been greeted by the moonlit flowers before you.

You were alone.

‘Hobi?’

Where had that name come from?

You’d allowed the word to simply roll off of your tongue without a thought, but the second it left your mouth you were bombarded in your mind with a multitude of questions about why you’d said it, the singular strange, yet somehow loving notion of the word, simultaneously offering comfort, whilst leaving you stood feeling utterly alone when it receives no response.

‘Hobi?’ you call again, being about to walk to the edge of the cliff to see if there was a pathway down, before suddenly hearing a noise behind you, and turning quickly to see what it was.

It wasn’t him-

But you’d definitely seen this man before…

…and the sight of him sent fear sprinting through your entire body.

‘Hello, Y/N-‘

‘No. Stay away!’ you state, your voice coming out stronger than you’d thought possible as you suddenly begin to back up toward the cliff face, the moment for you caught between real and a dream as your hands tremble and your feet shuffle backwards, all the while watching the man in front of you as he slowly approaches you, mouth stretching into a monstrous, animalistic grin.

‘Stop! Stay away!’ you shout again, holding your hands out defencelessly before you, and feeling your chest tighten in fear, but its just as you misplace your footing and the ground drops out from beneath you, that he says something that has your whole world turning upside down.

‘Its time to remember, Princess.’

The memories hit you like a tidal wave; brutal, unforgiving, definite, no room for negotiation as they crash into your mind.

They flicker by on fast forward, one by one, bombarding you over and over, but despite the ferocity of the emotions that came with each one, an overwhelming sense of want begins to bloom in your chest as the same beautiful, angelic smile appears again and again, aimed solely at you.

You have the vague feeling of being held as your mind spins through the memories that had been taken from you, feeling the tears leak from your eyes as you relive the moments of tenderness and love with your prince, his face appearing familiar to you once more where before he’d simply seemed like a handsome stranger in your dreams. You find yourself panting quietly through the times of fear as you feel yourself repeat your desperate cries for help as you once again crawl through the forest into the meadow, your mind having spun through so many scenes that you’d managed to come full circle into the moonlit space.

‘Hobi?‘

The whisper escapes you as you find yourself laying in his arms after the onslaught of emotions, the moment seemingly caught on a knife edge where the pace of the memories had slowed to reality as you stare deep into his brilliant white eyes, and watching him in that moment you feel your emotions treble tenfold after reliving the entire life you’d made with him, feeling a desperate need to stop him from doing what you knew he’d do next;…

….erase everything, just to save you.

‘Hobi, please…don’t-‘

Before you could finish your sentence the dream ends, and you open your eyes to be met with shimmering white orbs.

‘Its okay, beautiful. I’ve got you…’

He was there.

HOSEOK

He hadn’t meant to speak.

He’d simply been watching over you as he had been every night since he’d left you alone in your bed at your family’s house, needing to make sure you were safe and wanting to see you- ironically to stop himself from going back to put you in danger once again.

However, when he’d seen how distressed you were that night, he couldn’t stop himself from climbing through your window with his need to comfort you, feeling distressed himself in his helplessness to do anything, since this was the first night since he’d left you that you’d seemed so completely frightened by the dreams you’d been having- that he was desperate to believe he had something to do with him.

Of course, he’d slipped a few times before, had needed to touch your perfectly soft skin so badly, that he’d gentle folded his fingers around yours on one occasion, and on another had accidentally found himself letting you curl yourself onto his lap in your tired restlessness, the feeling of you so familiar, warm, and simply you casting him in motionlessness as he spent the rest of the night in your room, before disappearing just before you could wake.

However, its just at that moment, as he’d been about to make a noise to try and rouse you from the nightmare, trying to find anything to stop you from being so upset, that he’d seen you suddenly roll to the edge of the bed, the power behind the movement forcing you over the side, and before he could stop himself he’d dived through the window and caught you before you could crash against the floor, clutching you close to himself in his surprise at his actions.

…He hadn’t held you this close in so long…but it felt just as magical as it had the first time; as it always had.

Thankfully you hadn’t woken when he’d caught you safely in his arms, but somehow, despite knowing he should quietly replace you on your bed and get out before you could wake up and freak out that a random mystically beautiful stranger was in your room, he found himself staying put where he’d landed with you on the floor, drinking in the sight of you up close like a man who’d been dying of thirst.

He wanted to slap himself when the next thing he knew he was stroking your cheek gently with the back of his fingers, feeling tears burn his eyes with how soft your skin was, practically glowing in the moonlight flowing around you through the window where he’d been stood. Despite still seeming mildly stressed, the minute you’d fallen into his hold and subconsciously curled yourself into his arms, the tangible panic that he’d felt rolling off of you before had melted away, almost like you’d known it was him, like you still felt comfortable in his embrace, like you could still remember the way he’d held you…the way he’d loved you.

‘Hobi…’

The sudden way you breathed his name has him freezing in his motions, for a moment thinking you’d woken up and being petrified in his confusion of what to do, but after another moment of silence, which is followed by you mumbling softly to yourself, he looks down at you to see that you were still asleep, realizing the panic from before had returned and once again becoming upset as he witnessed you becoming distressed once more.

‘Hobi, please…don’t-‘

He wanted to cry at how terrified you sounded, continuing to wonder just what had made you so upset in your dream and feeling his blood thunder in his ears as he tries to think of a way to soothe you without waking you up, growing more and more distressed himself, until he ends up curling around you and pressing the lightest kiss to your forehead as he whispers,

‘Its okay, Beautiful. I’ve got you…’

…And then he hears your heart begin to speed up in your chest, a gentle incline that continues to grow as the motion of your chest breathing is paused, and its at the moment that you release all the air from your lungs, that he realizes, this time…. you really had awoken.

‘Hobi?’

For a good few minutes both of you are too scared to break the moment, both thinking in your minds that you were caught in a dream, and both being unwilling to break it- although you both had different reasons for doing so.

Its only when he very slowly finds your eyes with his, and you see the swirling pools of white and brown as they mingle and stare back at you, that you truly acknowledge he was there, that everything you’d just dreamed, just remembered, had, in fact… been real.

‘Why?’

You don’t know why it’s the first word out of your mouth, you don’t even know why you’d spoken in the first place, but the longer you watch him, seeing the confusion develop on his face as his forehead begins to crease, the image beginning to swim in your eyes after the rollercoaster of emotions you’d just experienced, the more you think it was definitely the right question to ask.

‘You…uh…you looked like you were having a bad dream, and then you fell… out of bed so I caught you before you could hurt yourself-‘

‘Hobi…’ you breathe, cutting off his stuttering excuses, feeling your body warm in every place that he was touching you, and watching him closely as you try not to get taken away on the tide of emotions that were battering your insides as you realized he was there, he was holding you, his perfect angel’s face, with his neat, high cheekbones, and his warm chestnut hair, was staring down at you…

…it felt like returning from a long journey that you hadn’t even realized you were on.

‘Why did you do it?’ you whisper, your throat closing up against tears as you see yourself reach your hand up to cradle his cheek, your heart jumping in your chest when you feel his skin beneath your fingertips, and you see the exact moment he realises that you remembered too, his face changing from timid, slightly concerned and calculating, to simply pale and shocked.

‘You shouldn’t be able to remember.’ He whispers, his grip getting tighter on you as he pulls you up into sitting position, keeping his arms around you, like he was scared if he stopped touching you you’d forget who he was, staring at you wide eyed the whole time, and seeming to wait for a reply.

But you were too busy being lost in the memory of his last words as time seemed to slow around you and you recall the way he’d stopped you from dying; ‘but I don’t have to let you go like this…’.

‘I told you I wouldn’t forget you…not for anything…not ever.’ You whisper tearfully back, words contorted by emotion, and you see his gaze follow the tear down your cheek, his thumb instantly swiping under your eye as he swallows thickly, and after you’d watched each other for a solid minute, so consumed with trying to silently work out where the other was with the situation, eyes anxiously flickering between eyes, you end up quickly leaning toward him and desperately crashing your lips to his, not being able to bear not feeling him against you a minute longer.

He tasted just like home.

Clinging desperately to his shoulders and neck as your lips lock and mould against one another, your pants of pent up desperation crash against one another as he holds you ever closer against him, his fingers curling into your ribs without his knowing where he needed you so badly.

‘You shouldn’t remember…this shouldn’t be possible! …You’re in danger; Every second of me being here puts you in danger- he’s still going against my father; he killed his princess again, he almost killed the girl I chose too-…but it was my fault, I didn’t watch her, I didn’t look after her, I-I-….’

‘Hobi-‘

‘…I was too busy watching you.’

You knew you should have felt touched by his words, the warmth that radiated up your spine being testament enough to that fact, but you simply couldn’t stop being completely consumed by the sight of him before you, your head spinning from the true destiny that had just unravelled itself to you in your dream, and the reality that you’d opened your eyes to after experiencing narrowly escaping death for a second time.

‘I have to make you forget again.’

His whisper pulls you out of your thoughts with a startling forcefulness.

‘No. Hobi, don’t.’ you breathe, pulling on his neck to try to pull his mouth closer to your own, but you can feel the twitch of resistance he puts up right before he touches his mouth instinctually to yours, his lips ghostling lightly, as though he was already disappearing from before you.

‘I have to.’ He breathes, the words strained as they leave him, before he finally stops the kiss and manages to find your gaze with his, your foreheads touching only offering you the slightest bit of comfort as your grip on him tightens fearfully.

‘It’s the only way to keep you safe, Y/N. I-I reversed time so completely that not even Namjoon remembers what happened. Everything that happened, im the only one that knows, and that’s meant that I’ve managed to keep you safe. …that’s all I ever want, Beautiful…to keep you safe....; to make sure I never get to stop seeing you smile…’ He whispers raggedly, dragging in a rough breath as he leans back a little to look at you, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek as tears silently role down both of your cheeks, knowing that at any moment he might take the moment away from you and leave you with the darkness of your dreams once more.

‘At least tell me why you did it. …you could have turned me-‘ you go to argue, the idea turning your stomach despite your suggestion, but his sorrowful smile, is already answer enough to your stalling.

‘You said you never wanted that. Ever since the first time you told me that you’d rather die, I-… I never considered changing you after that -‘ he murmurs, continuing to stroke your cheek as tears dribble from his eyes and you cant help but shakily kiss them away once you’d asked your next question.

‘But-…What about your father’s plan?-‘

‘-The second I realized I loved you,…that you were the one… I abandoned the plan. The only thing I ever wanted from the moment you kissed me after learning what I was; after accepting what I am…was for you to be happy…for you to have everything you’ve ever wanted.’ He explains, pressing a meaningful kiss to your forehead as he continues to stroke his thumb across your cheek, remaining with you cradled in his arms, the obviousness of him not wanting to let you go being overwhelming and causing you to hug him tightly to you, burying your face in his shoulder.

‘I don’t want to forget again.’ You cry softly into his skin, pressing kiss after kiss against his throat in a childish attempt to convince him, being completely exhausted from the revelation of what had happened, but knowing you had no power against his abilities, even if you attempted to stop him. Its feeling his resolve weaken in the way he holds you tighter to him, his arms contracting around you until you could barely breathe as he too buries his face in your shoulder, that has you raising your hopes, thinking that he might not do it; that you might not have to lose him again, and the feeling has your heart beating desperately for him in your chest.

‘Beautiful-‘ he goes to calm you, obviously having felt the way your heartbeat had increased, but you’re quick to interrupt him before he could say anything more that would have you crippling in his hold.

‘I’ve just lived a whole week without you, a whole week of numbness that I didn’t understand, of dreams that terrified me, of questions spinning around my mind that I had no answers to…I cant-…Hobi, please…I can’t lose you again.’ You plead, trailing your lips to his jaw, his cheeks, covering every inch of his skin until his lips suddenly find yours, and his mouth is caressing yours so desperately that you can practically taste the goodbye on his tongue despite all of your efforts.

‘Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…

But…It’s the only way to keep you safe.’ He whispers against your lips, the two of you pitifully twisted together on the floor, and before you can object, or even lock your arms around him so that he couldn’t go anywhere, you look up to see his brilliant white gaze staring down at you once more…

The sun claws at your toes as you come to the next morning, the dried tear tracks on your cheeks making your face feel taught as you push yourself up from bed, sliding your legs off of the edge and bleerily opening your eyes to stare over at your window where it stood wide open waiting for you…

You remembered.

But how?

Your reaction is immediate; his last words to you run through your head as you run your hands over your body in every place he’d held you, your mind frantically replaying every action, every kiss and touch that you remembered from the night before as your heart crashes in your chest, the image of your Prince turning from blurry to clear as day as you cement the reality in your mind, before you’re jumping up from your bed and hurriedly changing out of your bed clothes and running into the front room of your family’s house.

‘Y/N! Where are you going?’ your father demands as you sprint past him, skidding to a stop as you see the way he was sat at the breakfast table as normal, catching sight of the newspaper he was reading from and continuing to run over every question in your mind to find the right one that you needed to leave your mouth as you stare at him.

‘What day is it?’ you ask breathlessly, wanting to check that you were right, that you really had remembered everything despite him turning back time to the morning before; Saturday.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Father, what-‘ you go to ask him again impatiently, before he answers you.

‘Its Sunday.’

The day of the Princes’ wedding.

Wait.

‘What-…what do you mean its Sunday?’ you ask, heartbeat faltering in your chest at the surprising bit of information, frowning in confusion at your father as you make your way over to him, turning your back on the door that you’d been about to run through and reaching out to snatch the paper from his hands.

‘What are you on about, Y/N? What do you think I mean? Yesterday was Saturday, and today is-‘

‘Sunday.’ You breathe, completely at a loss for words as you realize you were wrong.

…He didn’t do it.

After everything he’d said…everything that had happened…

…He’d let you remember.

‘But why?’ you say to yourself, frowning at the date printed on the newspaper in your hands as though you expected it to change with just a scowl from you, hearing your father ranting on about how strange you were being, but not paying him any attention before you drop the paper and turn to continue running out the door.

‘Y/N! Where are you going? …Y/N!!’

You ignore your father’s calls as your eyes dance frantically across the marketplace that opened up before you as you run down the street, seeing signs for the wedding celebrations being dotted around everywhere, the knowledge that you had only an hour to make it to him making you feel sick and causing you to sprint thoughtlessly toward one of the wagons that was just heading onto the road to the castle.

‘Please! Let me come with you!’ you beg the driver as you run up alongside him, your feet skidding and tripping on the cobbles, but you don’t let up as you grip onto the side of the wagon, staring determinedly at the driver, but the look on your face must have been enough to convince him as he simply nods his head in the direction of the cart, and slows slightly to allow you to jump on, before speeding up once more.

Your stomach rolls the whole ride as you chew anxiously on your nails, watching hedgerow after hedgerow pass by and praying desperately that the next thing you would see would be the stone walls that lined the road a few miles out before the entrance to the castle itself.

However, when they do eventually exchange places with the hedgerows, you only find yourself feeling sicker, the feeble plans you’d been making in your mind seeming pointless as they continue to crumble under scenarios of disaster after disaster that your mind conjures up.

If you were to go directly to the castle you’d get turned away.

And if you weren’t turned away and you came into contact with Taehyung or Namjoon, what were the bets that one of them would remember, or in Taehyung’s case….something worse could happen.

‘Stop!’ you shout suddenly, the thought of coming face to face with Taehyung once again causing your body to lock down, and in his surprise the driver pulls the horse to a halt, allowing you to jump off from the rickety wagon as he turns back to look at you with concern and mild annoyance.

But you pay him no mind as you walk over to the side of the road, your surroundings being so familiar, that you catch sight of the entrance to the forest only a few hundred meters away across the paddock behind the wall;

And that would take you to your meadow.

‘Crazy girl.’ You vaguely hear the driver mutter under his breath, before the sound of the wagon rolling over the stone road gets mixed in with the sound of your footfalls slapping over the ground after you’d climbed over the wall and begun to sprint through the field toward the forest, hoping against all hope Taehyung was somewhere safe and sound near the castle, and that you weren’t about to run straight towards him.

But at that point, you’d chance it…if it meant getting to see your Prince again.

The trees bow in around you as you hit the forest line, rejecting the flashbacks to that night that flicker through your mind with the familiar surroundings, the sound of twigs and leaves being crushed under your feet causing animals to scurry into hiding as you manifest a path through the shrubbery, keeping your eyes locked ahead of you as you find yourself once again willing the sight of the clearing to appear before you.

It seems to approach much slower than when you were running for your life that night, the adrenaline that had been running through you clearly causing the journey to seem quicker then than now, although the second you see the patch of light that fell on the line of hedges that mimicked the end of the castle grounds, you’re almost sure there was some kind of deity looking down at you.

However, the second you stumble into the clearing before the hedge your feet pull you to a stop, your lungs burning having no place in your mind as you stare at the hidden secret that had been the central enigma of your love for Hoseok, the niggling thought that you still might be too late causing you to shake your head to dislodge the thought from your mind as you will yourself to push through the boundary.

‘Please…please tell me im not too late.’ You whisper to yourself, before drawing in a deep breath and reaching forward to part the leaves and step through…

He wasn’t there.

The sick feeling riots through your body and tempts its way into your throat as you step through the hedge properly, staring around at the flowers and plants dumbfoundedly, before fooling yourself into thinking he might simply be hiding, and beginning to scurry around the meadow in search of him, despite knowing the minute you entered the space that was no more than 20 square foot, that you should have listened to the feeling in your chest… that you should have known you weren’t that lucky…

You were too late.

It couldn’t end like this.

It couldn’t just end like some kind of bad film, where it was all a dream.

You needed him. As surely as you needed to breathe the air around you, you needed him, and you couldn’t simply leave him to marry some other girl who would never hold the same amount of love for him as you did.

It couldn’t end like this. He was your soulmate. He was the love of your life. He was everything you needed to live.

‘I need you. This-I love you, Hobi, I need you, I-‘

‘Y/N?’

HOSEOK

He’d had an uneasy feeling ever since he’d left her the night before.

Even as he’d slipped her back into her bed, and kissed her forehead as she lay sleeping peacefully after falling asleep in his arms, he’d known he should have done it, to protect her; to save her from hurting…he should have used his powers again.

… but he just couldn’t find it in himself to do it.

And as he’d stood watching her sleep, his eyes grazing around her room and catching the photograph of her stood with her parents on her bedside table, despite being clad in farming clothes their faces appearing all too familiar too him, the mystery of Y/N and what she did to him; how she affected him so completely, how she often was able to disregard the Princes’ powers, …it had all become too clear.

He’d wanted to hit himself as he’d walked away from her house, seeing the beginnings of the morning creeping over the horizon signalling the final day of the Princes’ courtship with their princesses; the wedding day.

But despite all of the panic, and confusion, and regret he’d spent the entirety of that morning feeling, almost being drowned in his sadness at what he’d left unsaid and undone, the minute he’d overheard the story the delivery man had been conveying to one of the servants, about a crazy girl that had jumped on his wagon, desperate to get to the castle, and then jumped off again in the middle of the road to run into the forest…his heart had begun to beat erratically in his chest, and he’d taken off without a thought, leaving the girl he’d chosen to be his Princess watching after him in confusion.

He’d moved as fast as his legs could carry him, ignoring both Namjoon and Jimin as he’d sprinted past them out of the castle, having the momentary thought enter his mind that Taehyung might get to her first, and sprinting faster over the fields and into the forest, picking up on the distant muttering of her voice.

‘Please…please tell me im not too late…’

‘No, Beautiful girl. You’re not too late…You’re not-.’ He murmurs to himself as he wills his legs to go faster, stripping his jacket off where it was preventing him from moving as fast as possible, and leaving it strewn in some shrubbery in the forest, not paying it any mind as he catches sight of the patch of light that signalled the hidden entrance to the meadow where he knew she’d have ran to, and smiling to himself as he blinks back tears of thankfulness that had been brought on by the wind that had battered his face as he’d ran.

The breath catches in his throat as he stops before the hedge, his heart thundering at the speed of light beneath his ribcage, and his hands sweat in suspense as he realizes that she was really there, that he could hear her heart beating harshly in sadness where she thought he wasn’t there; where she thought she was too late.

And that sound was enough to force Hoseok through the hedge into the meadow with her.

‘Y/N?’

He was there.

He was really there.

‘Hobi?’

The second his name croaks from your throat he’s darting over to you, his long, warm arms crushing you against his chest as he burries his face in your neck, breathing heavily where he must have ran to the meadow but appearing to try to drown in you entirely as he smothers his mouth and nose in your skin.

‘I thought I was too late.’ You whisper raggedly, binding your arms around his middle, and reciprocating his gestures desperately, praying that you never had to let go, his scent and presence surrounding you being so overwhelming that you cant help but allow the tears to begin to fall.

‘I’m here, Beautiful…I’m so sorry….I thought I could do it, but I just couldn’t- I cant-‘ he whispers brokenly, beginning to press kisses all over your shoulder and neck till they reach your mouth, at which point his lips coerce yours into becoming one, the feeling of them harsh and needy against your own telling you that his words were true, that after the past week of being without you, he couldn’t let you go.

‘But I don’t understand,’ you murmur raggedly against his mouth, not even being able to smile with your euphoria where you were so numb with happiness.

‘You said you were going to make me forget- you said-‘

‘I couldn’t. Y/N…I couldn’t. I’ve already had to go through losing you once, and that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…it almost killed me- I-…I couldn’t do that again. Its selfish, but-‘

You cut him off by crushing your mouth to his once again, swallowing his apologies and replacing them with all the silent words you couldn’t say, all the promises and love that you could pour into him with your lips moulding and coercing his own, fighting happily against one another as you desperately try to prove who missed who more.

‘But I still- I don’t-…You’re meant to be getting married today.’ You whisper as your breath crashes noisily against his when you pull away slightly to let the words leave you, the way you’d come to be sat on his lap allowing you to lean your head against his, and you close your eyes as you remind him of what day it is, hating the fact that it was the first concern to escape you, but knowing you wouldn’t be able to truly believe what was happening was real until he’d confirmed with you-

‘I am…I am meant to be getting married.’ He murmurs, a twitch of a smile appearing at the edges of his mouth, and despite the thought briefly fleeting through your mind, you didn’t believe your own thoughts until they’re being replicated from his lips seconds later, causing your breath to catch in your throat as you look up into his eyes and see the way they sparkle a brilliant white back at you…welcoming you home.

‘Will you marry me…Y/N?’

The sun rising over the horizon through your bedroom window has you squinting against its bright light, grumbling against the onslaught of the morning and the list of things you had to do that immediately begins to reel through your mind, before swinging your legs over the side and getting to your feet, stretching as you finally open your eyes to let the day in.

‘Beautiful?...What are you doing?’

His voice murmuring roughly from behind you has your mind sprinting back to the present, the silk sheets once again running under your fingertips as you turn to look at him laid in the bed, his eyes just about open and watching you warmly as he leans on his hand, obviously having been watching you sleep before hand as he smirks at you locking eyes with him, before reaching over and patting the bed beside him to gesture for you to get back in.

‘Shouldn’t we go and join the others at breakfast? I barely got to see them yesterday after…everything happened…I think it would be courteous.’ You murmur, trying to stifle a smirk at him as you find yourself crawling onto the bed despite what you were saying, coming to kneel in front of him and basking in the feel of his hand reaching out to smooth up your bare thigh, continuing to trail all the way up your body till he was cradling your jaw, guiding your face down to his so that he could greet you with a morning kiss.

The day had been a whirlwind after Hoseok had reintroduced you to the family. It was surprising to you the way that it had only been Namjoon and the King and Queen who ended up getting their memories back, the shock of what Hoseok had done causing her highness to almost faint, and for a moment you were sure you were about to get beheaded for causing such a ruckus to the ceremony and its proceedings. However, after a very tense conversation with his father, during which you had to hold tightly to Hoseok’s hand to keep your knees from buckling beneath you, the wedding went ahead as planned, the discarding of Hoseok’s original princess worrying you significantly with its swiftness, although Hoseok was quick to assure you that his mother had simply wiped her brain and fabricated some story of her running away to be used as gossip in the village to spare the queen from using her powers too extensively, the rumour, you knew, probably having been known to every citizen the minute it was spoken.

However, despite that being a big concern with you, it wasn’t until you’d been decked out in an ‘emergency dress’ session, and had been taken to the ceremony by Hoseok in an ornate, utterly stunning white dress, that your true worry had surfaced in your mind; Taehyung.

But even then…it had seemed to be in vain.

Because, despite every prince being informed of the switch in Princesses, and your name being spoken on multiple occasions, with the exception of Namjoon, none of the other Princes seemed to remember you. 

Although, after everything that had happened, you knew better than to simply trust their obliviousness...

‘I think…they can wait.’ He whispers against your mouth, causing you to suddenly forget your worries and bring you back to the present to find him grinning cheekily back at you, before causing you to squeal and giggle as he suddenly lunges at you, one moment being laid before you, and the next having rolled across the bed to end with you trapped deliriously happy beneath him, caged in by his arms as they rested either side of you, and the sight of his brilliant white eyes blazing down lustfully at you has you biting your lip wantonly.

‘Will you explain to me again why I affect you so badly?’ you ask him on a whisper, smiling knowingly up at him, and watching him hang his head with a quiet chuckle, before he peers up at you seductively, blowing his fringe out of his eyes and catching sight of the way your eyes twinkle at him pleadingly.

‘You mean, ‘will you explain to me why you think im special and full of magical powers again so that I can brag about being some kind of siren once more, even though I don’t believe you, please Hoseok’?’ he quips, his nose rubbing against yours as your laughs mingle quietly in the breath of space between you both, before he sighs against your lips once more, after you’d quickly snatched a kiss from him as a silent ‘please’.

It had been whilst the two of you were laid in the meadow the day before that Hoseok had first explained his theory about your ‘true’ identity, spouting some bizarre story about how he’d seen a picture on your bedside table of your parents and he’d recognized them as a few members of fae that used to serve the castle, the realization making him think that your inability to be regularly subdued to the princes’ powers, had been because of some kind of magical blood running through your veins.

You’d thought it was completely unbelievable the first time he’d told you, and the second…and the third, and you still refused to believe him even after he’d spoken about it with Namjoon the evening before, and the older brother- after going through the process of remembering who you were once Hoseok had introduced you again- had instantly jumped onto the magical being band wagon, the reaction mildly frustrating you slightly since you steadfastly refused to believe the ridiculous story.

However, something about the way Hoseok looked at you now, knowing he thought of you as some kind of magical, enchanted thing, had you swooning over the fairy tale, and so despite your skepticism, and after promising Hoseok you’d return to your family home to ask your parents about it to settle the argument once and for all (Since you knew you’d win), you enjoyed continually reminding him about it just to see the way his eyes sparkled as he watched you.

‘You know it makes no difference to me…right? You know I’ve always loved you even despite knowing this now?’ he murmurs then, once again bringing you out of your thoughts of magical wings that could help you to fly, and causing you to smile softly at him as you look timidly up at him, the moment seeming warm, and wonderfully cosy with just the two of you.

‘Of course.’ You whisper, fingers tapping at his lips where your hand had come up to explore him again, a habit that had become apparent since you’d gotten him back, and one that you could tell Hoseok enjoyed going by the way his eyes would flicker with white every time your fingers made contact with his skin.

‘...I just enjoy thinking that I might be special.’ You explain quietly, smirking cheekily up at him, but getting the expression stolen from you as his lips crash against your own, fingers sinking into your hair for a moment, before his breath is washing against your lips again and he’s staring at you intensely, imprinting that familiar gaze on you that you never wanted to escape from.

‘You are special. …and you’re mine.’ He murmurs, appearing completely serious for a moment to let his words sink in, before a smile pulls at the edges of his lips, and he’s once again pressing his lips to yours as he pulls the covers back over you both, forgetting about Breakfast completely…

Although, once you plead with him nicely afterwards…you still end up making it on time.

THE END

-

-

-

-

-

JUNGKOOK

‘Kookie? Will you come and dance with me?’

Jungkook looks over his shoulder to see his Princess walking over to him, looking just as beautiful as she had at the Princes’ wedding that afternoon, the moment she touches his arm causing his blood to streak faster through his veins and his body to tingle, and he smiles at her easily in response as she sits her chin cutely on his shoulder, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.

‘Of course, baby. Give me a minute and I’ll be right in.’ he responds, voice light and carefree as he smirks at her, accepting the kiss she gifts him with, before watching her peer over the gardens below where he was stood on the balcony outside of the ballroom.

‘What are you looking at?’ she asks inquisitively, mouth forming into a small pout in her curiosity, and the tendrils of irritation that he’d come to feel towards other people recently licked at his spine as he drew in a deep breath to maintain his patient façade.

‘Nothing. I was just getting some air.’ He states with a blasé tone, smiling at her and kissing her quickly to distract her from the faint noises he could hear coming from the forest line, smiling warmly at her once again, before she quietly states ‘oh, okay, well hurry up,’ and turns to head back into the ballroom.

He watches her until she’d disappeared into the mass of bodies that had gathered to celebrate the Princes’ marriages, before turning back to focus back on what he’d been watching, feeling the flickerings of green emerge in his irises that he’d observed in the mirror the night before, as his frustration at his brother claws at his skin.

He’d watched Hoseok leave the castle every day for the past week, the subtle, secretive way he’d disappear down the road that lead up to the castle having caught Jungkook’s attention by chance the first time, after he’d gone looking for Hoseok and had been about to approach him when he’d seen him slip into the servants quarters and out of their entrance to the castle. After he’d followed him the second time and realized he’d gone to meet a girl, or rather to watch over a girl that wasn’t his princess, Jungkook had become confused, utterly bewildered by the fact that his brother seemed to be so taken by this random stranger.

And then the visions had started.

The first time one had taken over him, he’d shot awake in his bed, breathing frantically as he’d grasped at straws to get his bearings, hands twisting the bedsheets till they tore. The ferocity of his actions had woken his princess and caused her to panic at his apparently animalistic appearance, until she’d had the intuition to pull him against her, hugging him tight until he was able to breathe properly again and he could see the room in front of him once more, before making him drink from her where he appeared so shaken and she had deduced that would be the only way to calm him.

…he hadn’t told anyone at first, thinking that what he’d seen had just been a dream, and so he’d carried on about his day, slightly shaken, but more or less the same.

However, it was after following Hoseok all the way to the small village and seeing him watch the girl from afar, that Jungkook had realized he’d grown suspicious and frustrated with his brother…

That night the visions had really begun.

He hadn’t told anyone about them, too scared to be teased by his hyungs for discovering his power, but even more scared to tell them what he saw…

Because even after the first vision had revealed a week of his life he couldn’t remember living…the vision that had followed, had terrified him to the core…especially when he’d watched it come true at the wedding that day.

And that was the very reason he had continued to watch Hoseok so closely since then…or more specifically…

…Y/N.

Its as he observes the two of you walking across the garden to the private entrance to the Prince’s rooms, watching the way you smiled at one another as if there was no one else in the world, Hoseok holding you so close you might as well be sewn together, that Jungkook feels the beginnings of another vision clawing at the backs of his eyes, swarming in his mind and stealing his breath from him as it does so.

Before he knew it, the world was turning to black, and with no-one watching him, Jungkook fell harshly to the cold stone floor.

SEQUEL: ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ - Coming Soon

[annanicole2004-blog]

yeah i think im gonna start using this dead website mostly for journaling purposes and having a place to put my thoughts on a public forum (as public as my literally 4 mutual followers is) i know that theres a private setting but the fact that anyone can see and maybe relate to what i post is somewhat comforting to me and maybe it will be for them too who knows

i asked for donations on facebook today. I shouldn’t feel bad but i do. everyone is struggling, everyone knows college is expensive and life is expensive. I like being independent and paying my own way, and I don’t really like asking for help with money things. I like having my own money but I also like having the time/energy to pass all my classes. Its a frustrating balance. I got about $30 so far from friends. I shouldn’t feel guilty because I know the world ought to be kinder and everyone struggles from time to time, and I wouldn’t hesitate to give a friend a little extra money if they needed it. I don’t think I really want to be dead, but I do think about not being born a lot. I think about things ive bought that I don’t really need. Times I went out instead of finishing something for a class. I wish I were more responsible, less impulsive, less scatter brained. I wish I didn’t feel like I was moving in slow motion all the time. I wish I didn’t sit in restaurants spacing out for hours at a time because i cant tune out the static in my head. People are very patient with me and I want to be better. I’m a shitty communicator and I have low self esteem and most of the time I can’t really seem to get much work done. Dealing with me is probably the most frustrating thing. I’ve got a lot of great ideas and potential and if I could pull it together I could be a really successful person. I think things will be better once I graduate, but also a lot of opportunities will no longer be there once I’m feeling more focused/less emotionally vulnerable and that makes me kind of sad. I try not to be hard on myself for taking 6 years to graduate bc ive spent enough time torturing myself as it is. Its wasted mental energy. I could be spending that energy thinking of ideas for projects. I can’t give power to these thoughts that I have.

I wish I could forget I ever met This One Person who im going to refer to as Person bc this is th’internet. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind all of their toxic shit out of my brain. I hate that I dwell on it so much but a lot of things just were so messy and it was never resolved, and I feel like I can’t talk about it with people without them getting tired of it. Person was a sexual predator and i thought they cared for me but it was a manipulation tactic and that’s what i need to get thru my self destructive triflin ass brain. I like to see the good in people and I put my trust in people I shouldn’t. I guess maybe now I know better....right? I used to think my vulnerability was a good thing but now im not sure. I wonder if I’m just weak. Everyone loves a bad bitch who never catches feelings. Nobody wants to see her cry. I wish I was like her too. I wish I didn’t have fantasies of hitting Person with my car.

I can’t think about sex without wanting to cry anymore. I masturbate to memories of sex with Person, and I feel so pathetic. I knew I liked them but I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. I dont think I even want a relationship? im so confused.... I was hurt when they didnt have the same feelings, but wanted to fuck me ??? I felt like a hole. They were on top of me telling me how damaged they were from catching feelings for another girl, like could you maybe wait until u aren’t inside me?????? asshole !!!!!!!!!!!maybe casual sex just isnt my thing and i should stop trying to pretend it is. I was so angry and confused and I think for valid reasons but idk. i was so desperate and pathetic. idk whats wrong with my brain. Im so confused. I wish I was more free with my sexuality, but I can’t remember the last time I felt good about sex. When I used sex as self harm I literally fucked strangers just so I could feel wanted. I wasn’t even attracted to most of them, and the sex was often terrible. It was boring !!! But I felt like that’s what I deserved. I deserved whatever stds I got from fucking random strangers from craigslist. It sounds horrible when I type it out but that’s the truth. I don’t know where I got such bad self-esteem. I look outside myself and I know its holding me back but I don’t know how to stop it. I think its bc I’m still so dependent on my worth as a person being determined by my attractiveness to ppl. I’d like to move on from that, seems a little juvenile. I’d like to stop comparing myself to other girls. I wish I could visit a sex therapist who could break down all this phobia I have and make everything make more sense. I’d like to enjoy sex in my life but I always catch feelings that I wish I could just turn off. Person told me that I feel everything too much. I hate them and I wish I didn’t believe that. I know myself and I think I feel things in perfectly normal proportions, I’m just not as good at hiding them. so dont police my feelings asshole. regardless, they had a point. If I could turn them off I would. Fucking prick. Fucking predatory, asshole prick that doesn’t deserve my presence. The time will come when I never think of them again and I pray that day arrives soon.

Theres things I do like about myself. I’m funny. I’m independent. In some ways, I’m quite brave. I take risks. I’m always gentle. I listen and I want my friends to trust me and get strength from me, bc this world is a goddamn shitshow and everyone needs a little help. I know I have to survive in this world being genuine to who I am, even if everything around me tries to break that down. I’m not going to let it. I know I do things a little differently and it doesn’t make sense to people, but I think I’m capable of so much. I’ve lived through lots of trauma and its given me a lot of pain and probs part of what keeps me from functioning normally but its also what makes me strong. And fuck everyone else, crying and being real about how u feel is strength. And soon, after 6 goddamned years of suffering, I’m gonna graduate. And I’m proud of myself for making it thru 6 years of scraping by working part time and taking classes with fuckhead professers and dealing with this backwards ass university profiting off my struggle. I’m gonna have a fucking BFA that I worked for and achieved. I’m gonna live and thrive, which is more than I can say for Person !!!!!! 

[corasanheart]

Not a useless person

Fanfiction based on: Mob Psycho 100

Category: romic and angst

Pairing: Tome Kurata/Tokugawa

                                                                   Chapter 1

“Telepathy club is hereby disbanded”.

Her words echoed in her head again pushing more tears on her cheeks. Tome was passing winter break mostly like this, closed in her house in front of many books left casually open. After her parents went away for a travel in the suggestive sight of snowy mountains, (they do not take her because it was for her best she stayed to study) the house fell in a total silence broken only by her sighs. She was thinking at the time wasted on doing nothing with guys that didnt care about her at all. Tome founded her club with a deep desire, maybe crazy or creepy, but in which she truly wanted to believe. She was glad to share her passion with other people thinking maybe they are interested too. Fool! Who is so fool to believe in aliens? And telepathy too… They were only searching a club where laze around without any specific goal to think about and yeah.. the “telepathy club” seems the better to fit with this. Tome was the only one enjoying this club all this time. And so this is finished leaving her with an empty mind. Three years of any memories. Now at least she had to make up for study. There are so many things she didnt understand yet. Finding an alien maybe its easier…

Tokugawa approached the house and looked closely at the little sheet in his hand. “This is the address. I wonder whose..”. He glanced at the doorbell and read “Kurata”. That rang him a bell but he just couldnt remember where had heard it. He just pushed it and waited. Someone opened the door as fast as closed it. - What the.. what happened?-.      The girl, actually Tome, just shouted -Why are you here?!- “Maybe he knew I was continuing secretly the club” -I’ve already disbanded it if you wanted to know that!- with the voice little broken. Tokugawa remained silent for a moment elaborating -What club?- “She has to be the one from the Fake club” -Aah that club. I’m not here for that. Anyway it occured months ago.. why do you come up with that so suddenly?-. She opened a bit the door and mormored something. Then just said -Enter-.

Tokugawa sat properly on the sofa and released a deep sigh before of starting to explain. Tome just sat quite far from him unsure on what expecting. -I’m here for this-. He put a piece of paper on the little table in front of them. -You, I suppose, left this message on my school desk in which you beg me for help you to study and there is also your address-. Tome blinked her eyes several times before answer: -I didnt do that! And I would never ask for YOUR help-. -Ah..So do you have any idea of who could have done it? I dont know, someone who might thinks you need my help-. Tome startled. -I dont know..- “someone who cares about me?!” -It must be a stupid joke! So I think you can leave now-.                    Tokugawa was watching her carefully in silence.

-What? Are you listening??-.

He just said seriously: -I will help you-. -Whaaat?! I dont need it!-

“She’s got marks under her eyes. She was crying. Is so desperate for the exam?. I cant just ignore it”.  -I dont think so-.

-You are so stubborn, I told you I dont need any help!-

-Tome..-

-Indeed I just cant stand your presence in my house in this moment-

-Tome..-

-And I can manage to study on my own. Ive already all under control-

-Tome..-

-So dont get worried for nothing and..-

She stopped in fear after has noticed tokugawa creepy face.

-Just shut up Tome -

Tome gulped “Maybe I should call the police” but then just mormored an -Ook-. Then she guided Tokugawa to her room. He sweated a bit “Why she invited me to her room so suddenly?! It’s so naive. If I was another guy I would have taken advantage of the situation. Lucky her, im not interested..”. When he entered the room paralyzed. “What on earth..”. Tome’s room was fully painted with a Universe pattern and covered with strange psychedelic posters of unearthly things and some pieces of old newspapers about ufo apparitions. While on the floor there was a mess of colourful packages, some of them containing every sort of snack and others just being garbage. “This is way more shocking of Kamuro’s room”. Tome sat at the desk trying to put some order. Tokugawa came closer behind her.

-Sorry there’s only one chair. Did it bother you?- she said. “Yeah maybe this convinces him to leave”. “She is just too lazy to bring me a chair from the living room” -No Im ok like this. So in what subject do you have more problems?-.

“All of them but I dont want to seem stupid or like I need help” -Im ok with everything like I said, but math..-. -Mm let me see-. He took the math notebook from Tome’s hands. Tome froze. He took a quick look to all her notes and exercises to judge in which seems in more trouble. Then he return the book to Tome.. after using it to hit her head. -Is plenty of nonsensical sketches. Can you just pay attention to the lessons, cant you? Anyway firstly I’ll help you with basic and symple notions and then with exercises-. Tome foreshadowed a huge headache for this.

It seems like Tome wasnt in a desperate situation. She managed to solve several exercises (Tokugawa’s advices on some of them were of help too, she had to admit it). -Now come the difficult one-. Tome remained with a ‘what’ face. Tokugawa wrote down the equation. Tome, trying to regain confidence, started to fill the paper of scribbles that could fit but something stopped her. -No. You cant start like this-. A hand took the pen from Tome. Tokugawa’s chin leaned on Tome’s shoulder while he explained the resolution. Tome looked at his face expecting the usual angry gaze but instead he was too concentrate on what he was doing.   She hadnt never see him like this and not this close to her. He wasnt ugly but for somewhat reason he was extremely pale. That gave him a more vulnerable aspect. Tome blushed a little without caring what he was saying. He suddenly turned around and paused. The creepy face returned. -You’re not listening. Why are you staring?-

She gulped -No,no,no I heard everything. I swear it!-. Tokugawa sighed. “Maybe I shouldnt do much pressure on her. Is she really so desperate only for exams? Anyway she had cried for somewhat reason, it’s normal she is a little distracted”. Tokugawa stood up. -Tome I know you are worried, but you have to pay attention if you want..-.

He stopped and close his eyes. Then fell on Tome’s lap. Tome froze and after a second let out a scream: -Aaaah!What are you doing?!-. He fell on the floor without any reaction. “Oh.. He is not moving. Is he dead!? Is it my fault?? I havent done anything!”. She turned him panicking. “Oh. He is ok. He just passed out”. Tome was tempted to leave him there like this but in the end thought at least to carry him on her bed.

“Hgnn he is pretty heavy” she struggled until finally managed to lay him down. Then came nearer with the chair to look at him. She osserved the Vice president thinking of what could have weakened him to this state. He is the kind of strong and overwhelming guy and it’s just of discouragement to see him like this.

Tome kept to stare at him when noticed something wrong on his face. It was a lock of hair that escaped from his fixed hairstyle. It was so strange. She hasnt, anyone hasnt ever seen him with a single hair out of place. But seeing him like this made Tome feels a bit strange. “Im curious on how he would look like with messy hair”. She, without thinking to much on what she was doing, tryed to get closer to Tokugawa and to place her hand on his hair. But something immediately stopped her.

One hand of the Vice president held her wrist tighly. “Wha-a-t? Is he awaken? He still had his eyes closed though”. Tome felt embarassement on what she has tryed to do and just blushed and stayed still. Suddenly all the force in Tokugawa’s arm faded. It fell on the bed dragging also Tome’s arm that couldnt help but lose balance on the Vice president.

Tome didnt know how to behave instead of remain still and turning all red.

       (the end in the next chapter)

Notes:

it’s my first fanfiction ^-^ im happy ~~

chapter 2 will be posted next week

sorry for my bad english really; Ive checked it several times to not leave big mistakes but surely you still can find some others (a ton of others)

sorry my writing is strange *-* if there’s something incomprehensible you can ask

any comment is accepted

and ideas too

hope you to enjoy this ship

[jwnbwnjwn]

Entry 9 (05.09.2021) - (06.04.2021)

Before I get into things, I cant believe I haven’t been on here in almost half a year. Well, to be fair I do get on here, but just for a quick minute to see my small feed and then get off, or whenever I get those notifications from tumblr desperately trying to get me to open their app again. I actually have been meaning to get on here and write, but I guess it became one of things you say and never do. I just felt that there was so much on my life to update on that I kept pushing it back further and further. I know I don't have to, but someday I’d like to see what was going on in my time back in the day - both good and bad, Besides, it’d be an interesting thing for my kids and for my older self to look back upon and see what bullshit went on. Reading off my last entry, I see I brought up that keto diet again. Yeah, that shit never stuck. It was one of those things that I tried once and it went great, and then I kept trying it time after time and it failed every time. Even now, this month, Im still trying to get back into it. And by “getting back into it”, I mean I told Mr. that I was gonna do this diet with him, and then i continued eating like crap - but wait I have an excuse. My sisters birthday was the week that we were supposed to start, so I mean, I couldn’t step out on my sisters birthday bro, I had to eat that good good you know? 

Covid is still a thing. Update on that though, I did get vaccinated. My university opened up vaccinations for students and so me and Mr. The first vaccination didn’t hurt at all, to be honest I didn’t even feel the dang thing go in. And it was so funny because after you get the vaccine they monitor you for fifteen minutes and Mr. legit had the worst luck and sat in the only available seat which was in the corner between an Asian girl who was on the verge of throwing up and someone who was laying down in a bed about to pass out. I mean, it was hilarious imagining if they were to throw up on him, and besides with the jokes we made, It was so hard to keep in my laughter. The second vaccine was about two weeks after the first, and there was some sting to that one. I didn’t get any crazy symptoms, but my head was spinning and i felt very tired, the best way I could describe it is when you’re really sleepy and you just wanna sleep all day and your eyes are heavy, like that. Like, the best type of sleepy where you’re about to knock out. The only bad thing to it was your head spinning but thats it, I guess it made you feel very weak aswell. 

*Sidenote: It literally took me almost a whole month to come back to this draft and finish it. It is currently 06.04.2021.

Last thing I was talking about was the Covid vaccine. Yeah, the symptoms weren’t too bad, it was just the dizziness I guess. My sister got the vaccine this past month and she experienced the same symptoms as well, and so did Mr., Ice, and my mom. I already finished with my spring semester, and summer classes just started. I’m taking a Crij course this summer just to get it out of the way already, and I am retaking Biol 1 in Summer 2. Aside from this, it has been really shitty. I guess the least worst thing that’s happened so far is that my older brother came to visit back in March this year. I haven’t seen him in a long time, but it wasn’t all exciting. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about him before on here, but long story short, he’s caused my siblings and I a lot of trauma from when we were at a younger age. When he came, it was just one of those things where it was really awkward at first and then it just kind of became a “faking everythings good” type of thing. After this, shit really hit the fan. 

I never thought this would be anywhere near a part of my story but,

*Trigger Warning: child exploitation*.

I believe I have mentioned before that I had gone to couples counseling with Mr. This was back in early-midway 2020. We had gotten better, so our counselor saw fit that we stop going. It was scary at first, because we felt like things were just going to collapse again now that no one was going to be there to help support our relationship in a healthy way, but it was actually great. Individually, I was really scared too. I mean, I was used to things blowing up eventually over and over again, so you could imagine the hesitation I had when I had to actually trust Mr. again, and I mean like actually trust. I was practically forced to put my walls down and trust him, and I fought him and our counselor so hard on it, but it was like the whole world was against me because left and right people were telling me to trust him, so I did. I was really worried at first. The first couple of months were normal, but there was several times where I would overthink things, and look for things to go wrong. I’d stay up and stalk his social medias, his friends social medias, like, I was looking everywhere. I guess this is what gave me the slightest hint about what was going on. I had gone through his likes on twitter and saw that he had “hearted” a photo of a girls onlyfans. And it wasn’t just a regular girl, It was someone we knew and went to highschool with. This girl was someone that Mr. and his friends would always tease and bully, and I don’t know why, maybe it’s some misogony, but there is always going to be something sketchy when it comes to a certain group of guys and girls they tease. They say all this stuff about them, but once that girl is exposed in the slightest, they are all there jerking their meat to them. Anyways, I confronted him about it and he said that he had clicked on the profile just to see what it was and once he realized what it was he exited out. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and moved on. Towards the end of the year, I’d say around late October, I started believing that things were okay. I even talked to my friends about it and stated how weird it felt for things to be okay, almost as if it felt wrong, but they assured me that if I had nothing to worry about, then don’t. To just be free, be happy. And then my world was crushed. In early to mid December, I woke up to several messages on my phone from a girl I recognized, but never had any contact with. I had previously known her because she was an ex to a former friend of mine. However, because she messaged me on messanger and deleted the messages before I had the chance to read them, I couldn’t see what was said. I was only able to see that I had gotten messages and that they were deleted. I replied to her and asked what was up, because I was extremely confused as to why this girl was messaging me in the first place. Her reply was, “Do you know “Mr.”?. This legit shook me to the fucking core because it is what I had feared all along. I was so tense for months, and once I had finally relaxed, this shit gets thrown in my face. She started asking if I knew my own boyfriend, and said that I might want to talk to him. I remember I kept asking her what was going on, but she just kept repeating the same thing; to talk to him first. And it was really odd because the night before, Mr. had messaged me a long paragraph explaining how he loved me, and how he’s made mistakes, and how life is so hard on him, and just basically explaining himself to me in such a vague way. But I took it to heart, because he opened up to me on his own after months of me asking him to. I didn’t wait to think of it as an apology for what was coming. That was the last message he had sent me before I got the message from this girl. Lets call her Desert. I was spamming Mr. with calls, texts, I even tracked his location and he had turned it off. Eventually I came to the conclusion that he had gone back to doing what he used to, which was something dealing with nudes or that he had cheated on me, or both. I ran to my friends scared half to death; I couldn’t eat, talk, I was freaking the fuck out. It’s almost as if my body knew, and was preparing itself. Mr. got back to me later at night, but he didn’t want to tell me anything about what was going on until I threatened to leave him. I recall telling him that I’m done waiting, and that I needed answers now or I was going to bombard Desert with them and hear it from someone else and leave. This is when he told me. He told me that months ago, after our couples therapy had ended, an old friend of his, someone we went to highschool with, lets call him Bucket. For some insight, Bucket is some bad fucking news. This guy is the last person you would want any of your family around. And I remember he had started talking to bucket and some other friends from highschool again, but I don’t know why my peanut brain didn’t think exactly who he was getting involved with again. Anyways, he told me that Bucket had reached out to him and asked if Mr. had any lewd photos of girls. Reminder: this was something they had been doing back in highschool. Mr. told him no, and that was that. Bucket kept coming back and asking, over and over again, and after Mr. gave some more thought to it, he remembered that he had his old SIM card from his old phone and that he might have something on there. He checked it, and sure enough there was. Let me pause you right here. When we were in couples counseling and as it was coming to an end, I expressed my worries about the SIM card. I had known that Mr. was doing this stuff back then, so I knew he had photos on this card. I think his phone had cracked or something like that, so thats why he got a new phone. When I asked about the SIM card, he said he had given the phone and SIM card to his sister, and that they were gone. I thought it was super weird because not long before that he said that he was hesitant to give the phone to his sister and idk what, it was weird. Anyways, back to the story. Mr. sent the photos to Bucket, and from there was the start of our downfall. Mr. got invested in it, and he got back into trading nudes and lewd photos of girls. This already sounds bad, but the worst part is that these were old photos. This SIM card went years back, and I mean years back to when he was in highschool doing this. What I am trying to get at is that he had photos of girls from highschool, meaning underage for the most part. Mr. is 22, and he was 22 at the time he got invested into this again. I didn’t even know what to think of it. I felt like throwing up, like my intestines were going to come out of my mouth and like I was going to die. I literally had a feeling of disgust and anger, not only for him lusting over other people, but the ages of the people he was lusting over. I, as well as many others, consider this child p^rn. I now had this idea that I was dating this pedophile for years, and was barely finding out. I felt like fucking dying, all those sacrifices, are for this? That was at worst as it got. Desert reached out to me to tell me about this, because Desert was Buckets ex girlfriend, and now babymomma. She had found out and let me know. However, Mr. found out she was doing this and talked to her, and convinced her that he would let me know and that it was for the better, and she let him. Desert sent me screenshots that she had found through Buckets account between him and Mr., and I can’t even begin to describe how hard my heart fell through my ass. It hurt like i just got shot in the throat. It was through her and these screenshots that I also found out that he had previously planned to hook up with one of our old friends, as well as other people. I’m not even going to go into the degrading words he had said about the fellow girlies I (used) to be friends with. It was a fucking mess when I met up with him. I told him that he was a pedophile, and it went to hell from there. I’m talking massive breakdowns, crying, yelling, you name it. I was telling him people were going to report this, hell, I told him I was going to report this. I’ll save you the hours of repetition, I didnt report shit, well, not at this moment. He also let me know that he had been buying this girls onlyfans, remember the girl I mentioned earlier, the one who I caught him hearting photos of? Yeah, he had been buying her onlyfans, and his friends and him were pitching in for it. What ended up happening was that Desert had told me and let me know that she was going to be notifying the girls that these pigs had photos of, and that it was up to them what they wanted to do. I let her know that it was fine, and that I would support whatever it was they did, meaning, if they were to make a report on them, so be it. He’s a grown man, he dug himself in this hole. What ended up coming of it all; I believe she is still notifying the girls about the photos and the pigs, because it’s still being brought up recently. I’m still with Mr., if that’s what you want to know. It hurt a lot, hearing it all, and I took some time for myself to figure out what I want to do, to figure out how to go about it, hell, to catch a breather. We didn’t spend valentines day together because of this. I was there to support him though, because he was scared that each day was going to be his last, meaning either the cops were going to get to him first or he was himself. I was there for him, I supported him, cared for him, even though I was supposed to be the one to receive that treatment. But I did it because I love him. I know it sounds stupid, especially if you consider everything. But I do love him. I’ve known this man for about 5 years, and even though he is such a fucking stupid person, I could tell this wasn’t the way he wanted things for himself. I could tell that he never wanted to be in that place, but it’s where he ended up. Mr. has been going through a rough time lately, I know how difficult things are for him. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but he’s at home all the time taking care of his very ill father. I can only imagine the lengths that something like that would take you through. I know many people suffer with many different things, and many use different outlets to release themselves of this pressure and stress. I believe because this was something that Mr. had previously been involved with, and because Bucket reached out at the time, this was the path that led him to the biggest mistake of his life. He found his comfort in these photos, this environment, these people. I know many struggle with porn addiction, drinking, sex addiction, intrusive thoughts, etc. I just think the demons caught him at the “perfect” timing. I believe he had been suffering through intrusive thoughts for a while. And with the stress and pressure from his family duties and his friends, it led to this. I know it hurt, and I never would’ve pictured ourselves in that situation, ever. But, I also knew that that person I was dealing with, was not the Mr. I knew. I knew he was somewhere in there, but I also knew that he was dealing with something greater than just stress. It was a whole mountain of ugly things. And yeah, I could’ve walked away and moved on with my life, but once you get to know somebody inside and out, and get to know and fall in love with them for every ounce of their being, I don’t believe the choice to “walk out” is there anymore. I believe at that point they become a part of you, they become family. It’s not that I didn’t have the strength or the choice to leave, because I did. It’s more that I couldn’t leave him to suffer knowing that’s what he was doing; suffering. I wanted him to get better, I didn’t want to see him behind bar cells, or even worse. I needed him to get better for himself, and for his future. I know many won’t understand, but that’s alright. As long as we understand, that’s all I needed. We stayed together, and overtime we took care of one another. We now stand in a better place, one where forgiving has been a big part of. It’s going well again. We tried going to couples counseling, but our counselor had a waitlist and pushed it all the way until the coming fall, and I mean im not going to be here so there is not going to be any couples counseling to begin with, but thats alright. We did do it for a week before she had to push us back, and in that week when I opened up to her about what had taken place, she believed it to be the extreme measures to involve cps and make a report. She made a vague report, and since I was the one to speak on it, it was as if I had made the report. However, nothing came out of it because it was not ongoing and cps didn’t think it was extreme enough to open up a case about. I think we have come to a place where were good now though. Recently, one of the explosive girls that they had photos of reached out to Ice, my very close friend, and warned her about the people she was involving herself with. She was talking about me, and how I am involved with Mr. I guess she warned her because people are starting to look at me weirdly for being his girlfriend. Ice let me know, and I told my friends that I would never put them in such a bad situation where they have to like who my partner is, and I let them know that if they felt like I was someone they no longer wanted to be associated with, then I would understand if they left. They didn’t leave. I don’t really care for people to start looking at me weirdly, because it simply isn’t like that. We know the truth, Mr., my close friends, and I, and I am okay with that. He started going to counseling again, and I have found myself at peace with the world. I understand how crazy it can all be y’know? I don’t know how I’ve come to be the person I am today, but I’m thankful for it. I know peace, I know life, and I know what love is. I strive to fill my life with these and live as comfortable of a life that I possibly can. My relationship is good, work is still being done, but it is good. I can ask for nothing more but for us to be blessed with another day of being together. 

My relationship with my father has plummeted. I had reached out to him early in the year about what was happening in my relationship, and I did find my comfort in my own dad. However, what I failed to realize was that my own father was a man who had misogynist views of his own. I forgot that he was a creep, and someone who Mr. would end up like if he didn’t try to make himself better. Along with this, I realized the absence he made in my family and the way he treated my siblings. My sister and mom have talked to him, and oh man, did my sister and I let him have it. He knows why we aren’t speaking. He constantly apologizes, says he’s been “joking” about the way he sees woman, as if joking about it for the last 20 years is even possible. It’s just gaslighting, and it’s not working. That’s why we don’t talk anymore. He can’t even realize how sick he is, and tries to save his ass from losing his daughters by calling it “joking”, which evidently makes it worse. 

I have reached out to a former professor of mine to be my mentor, and he has said yes. This man is someone I highly respect who I took for an Engl course for my basics. He’s an older man, who just recently retired from teaching. I’m just glad I can be able to remain in contact with someone who I see myself in. 

I can also finally say that I am finally moving to my dream university this coming fall. It has all been approved, and I have a dorm and all. I’m very excited, but also saddened to be leaving my family and friends. I also have to share that I have a job now! I am currently a hotel receptionist working night hours, which is where I am writing this blog at right now. I love this job, and I love the people and the hours. It’s very peaceful for a college student like myself. 

Well, I’ve finally caught you guys up. I hope it brings you a giggle to say that through writing this, I have a slight lag to my typing because of all the shit I had to say. I’ll try to write more often. I hope you guys remain safe. See you soon. 

Ended this at 06.04.2021 at 5:28 AM.

-jen