#i cant ask more of you youre already too nice to me. ive already taken things and joy from you. i

[horseimagebarn]

i respect the commitment to the bit

it may have started as a bit but i believe ive lost myself in it i enjoy horses now more than ever before except when i was six years old and my friend told me that that very night she was visited by a magical horse named thunder who came down from the sky and took her to bella sara the horse game website and she said the following night i should go with her and i took everything extremely literally and believed everyone ever at that age so that night i asked my mom to help me pick out clothes to wear before going to bed so i would have a nice outfit to go to bella sara land in and she said no go to bed and i said please i must go tonight to bella sara land what if the horses show up and im not waiting for them and theyre sad and she said the horses are not going to take you to bella sara in the middle of the night that was definitely either a dream your friend had or a total lie spoiler alert that night and all the nights that followed i was not taken by the horses to go to bella sara but spent the next few months saying they visited me so that i felt included as many other girls started to say they were also visited by the bella sara horses and taken to bella sara land and i believed them too and felt extremely left out but also plagued by guilt and anxiety for lying so im not sure if it was worth it in the long run

but yeah i like horses quite a lot and i have a lot more horse items now than before i started this account which signifies the transformation of a bit to reality though i cant collect horse items as i already collect jfk items

[0littleladybug0]

haihai :3 could u please do mayhaps a cg!steve harrington x little reader an mayhaps they the little is a bit cranky >:O and maybe just wants extra cuddles and extra baby time w cg stevieeeeeeeeeeee :D I love ur acc btw

YES I CANNN!!!

this request is the cutest thing ever i love it so much (coming from a girl that gets supper cranky when im regressed 🤭

Cg!Steve Harrington x little!reader

Summary: someones getting cranky and Stevie knows just how to help

Tags/warnings: Age regression, gender neutral reader, tooth rotting fluff from our favorite cg, spelling mistakes if you squint your eyes (theres always gonna be at least one i miss), reader being the most teeniest tinyest baby ever, reader being insecure but dw Steve is to the rescue!, no use of Y/N, ive never written for Steve before so let me know how i did!!

DNI IF NSFW

It wasn't an exaggeration that you were completely and utterly exhausted. Between classwork and picking up as many shifts as you could with your part time job, you were stacked with responsibilities and were constantly busy. Its not like you were doing it all alone though, you and Steve have both been working insanely hard. You both needed and deserved a nice break from the real world.

Your little space was just that, it was perfect for the both of you! You loved being taken care of and Steve loved having somebody to take care of, and he especially loved taking care of his sweet sweet baby.

The only issue however, was that you always had a problem verbalizing what it was you wanted. You knew that Steve loved being your caregiver and didn't mind your regression at all, intact he praised it any chance he could and was beyond supportive of everything, but you just couldn't shake the insecurities away sometimes no matter how hard you tried to.

You had spent all week without slipping into your little space, something that Steve noticed very quickly since you rarely ever go that long without regressing, even if its just for a hour or two. You wanted nothing more then to slip and be babied by your cg, but the insecurities in your head were too strong, and that made you want to slip even more.

Good thing for Steve though, he had an indescribable gift of reading you just like a book. He knew everything and anything about your regression, and he knew that the longer you stayed big, the smaller and smaller you would regress.

So when you came back home from an exhausting shift after your classes, he knew what you were doing.

You kicked off your shoes and flopped onto the couch with a small whine escaping your lips. You were so tired you didn't even see him walking over to the couch, taking a seat right by your feet, rubbing circles on your back.

"Hi baby." he cooed, "lets change you into some jamies and get you some food, how does that sound?"

The idea of being all cozied up in your favorite pjs sounded like a dream, but the thought of having to get up and actually change, you simply just didn't have the energy for that.

you wanted Steve to pick you up and carry you on his hip, change you into your jammies and give you a nice warm bottle of milk.

And Steve always knew what you wanted. Which made you want to stay big even more, but you were beginning to slip and you couldn't help it.

"No, not tiny." you pout, trying to prove your point.

"You mean this itty bitty baby right here, this little one isn't tiny hm?" he asked, tickling you slightly at your sides. "Seems pretty tiny to me."

You giggle and squirm, immediately making you slip completely into your little space.

"Cmere sweetheart, lets get you changed, your to tiny to wear your big clothes, i cant imagine thats comfy."

"Wanna be in my jammies." you nodded in agreement.

Steve got up from the couch, a confused look lacing his face when he turned to see you staring up at him with big doe eyes.

"You want me to carry you, dont you?" Steve asked, already knowing the answer to it.

"Yes please." you said shyly hiding your face.

He chuckles to himself as he put his arms under yours and hosting you up on his hip. "Good job with your manners hun, where did i get such a polite little one?"

God he loved to see you blush and hide in the crook of his neck.

After getting you into some comfy clothes and a snack in your stomach, he knew that you didnt even need a bottle to knock you out for the night. Would you still be asking for one, oh absolutely.

You began to kick your legs when he hovered you over the couch in an attempt to you you down.

"No dada! No couch!" You shook your head vigorously.

"Baby, I gotta put you down somewhere, dont you want something to eat?" Steve asked.

You let out a whine and buried your head back into the crook of Steves neck. All you wanted was to cuddle with your caregiver, you didn't want to think about what you wanted to eat, let alone have the energy to actually do it.

"Just wanna stay with you." you mumbled, your voice soft and muffled from Steves shoulder.

"Ok How about this," Steve began, holding your cheek with his free hand so that you could look at him. "What if i made you some nice *comfort food of choice* and then a bottle after, huh? How does that sound?" Steve suggested, he could tell you were tired and fussy and all down right exhausted. he couldn't imagine all the big feelings you were having right now in your little mindset.

He waiting until you slowly nodded in agreement before walking over to the kitchen, with you still on his hip of course. After the food and the bottle was done, he walked you over to the couch and placed you on his lap. He pulled a throw blanket over your back and made sure your stuffie was close to your side and put on cartoons on the TV. You didnt have to ask him what you wanted, he already knew how to treat his tiny tiny baby.

he blew on your food to make sure it wasnt too hot before holding it out to you on your baby spoon, encouraging you to eat it.

He knew that in such a little headspace the last thing you had was energy to feed yourself. He never minded helping out his baby.

"Its yummy isnt it?" He asked in between bites, never rushing you and letting you take your time with the dish.

You would nod along, clinging to Steves side feeling your hangry crankiness slowly go away.

You giggled when he licked his finger and whipped your checks clean. Your laugher to Steve was like an angle choir, he would do anything to hear that little laugh.

After you were done with your food, Steve had so hesitation feeding you your bottle next. You could feel your insecurities rise again at the though of Steve having to take care of you so much, making you cranky again.

You tried to grab the bottle from Steves hand before he tapped it away.

"Its ok baby, let dada give it to you." he reassured.

That one piece of reassurance was enough to get you back into your baby headspace as you nuzzled your head further into Steves chest with a smile.

Your bottle was quickly finished as Steve reassured you with sweet nothings throughout it. He grabbed your paci and held it out waiting for you to take it. You had no hesitation letting him place it in your mouth. He brought both arms around you now, bringing you into a big bear hug. He layed down on the couch with you on top and ran his hand through your hair.

"Sorry i was cranky today." You mumbled through your paci.

Steve looked down at you at your saddened state. He hated when you apologized for feeling your emotions.

"Hey baby, look at me." He said, bringing a hand to your cheek, brushing it slowly with his finger. "You never have to apologize for the way you feel. Its ok that your not happy and playful everyday. Every baby has their cranky days. And i will always be there to take care of you no mater if your happy or sad or cranky or tired. Im going to be there for you no matter what. Im always gonna be here for my little baby." He kissed the top of your head and tighten his grasp around you.

You nuzzled back into his chest with a soft smile on your lips.

You felt loved. You were loved. Everything was ok.

You both fell asleep holding each other on the couch, you woke up feeling cured of last nights big emotions with the help of your cg and your littlespace. And even if you woke up and you were still little, you didnt worry about being too much for Steve. You knew he would grab you a juice box, set you on the kitchen counter and make you breakfast as you watched.

You truly couldn't ask for a better dada.

But yet again, he couldn't ask for a better little one either.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

[kk43mi]

alr so if you’re okay with this kind of request i’d like to request a fic in which scara is afab!! i’ve seen many people headcanoning him as transmasc and it kinda grew on me :)) i think he’d be sub and enjoy oral but at the same time also less vanilla things like being tied up, restrained, blindfolded.. idk i’ll leave the rest to you :D

please feel free to ignore my request if it makes you uncomfortable! have a nice day or night<3

this idea is so good anon ! yes i also like to think he would like being restrained...hes always demanding you to eat him out and stuff omg i have so much thought into this. you also have a good day/night! excuse if this seems so messy, ive never written a trans fic... forgive me o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

jealousy┊scaramouche

PAIRING ┊trans!scara x softdomf!reader GENRE ┊ smut. WC ┊ 1.4k+ WARNINGS ┊ (in this case this is wanderer, but i will call him scara!) , praise , pussy eating(receiving and giving.) , needy scara , tied up , lowercase intended!!! SYNOPSIS ┊ partnering up with kazuha to work with your mission, scara gets jealous, thinking you were going to leave him for kazu...or maybe have more fun around kazuha. you and kazuha are good friends, always play fighting and joking with each other, scara cant stand the thought of you enjoying someone else, so he gets jealous and demands you to eat him out. A/N ┊ written by kam , hope you guys enjoy !

the bustling paths of inazuma were alive with activity as you strolled along, your footsteps in sync with the rhythm of the city. your mission for the day was to work alongside scaramouche, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment when you learned he had asked kazuha to accompany you instead.

"looks like it's just you and me today," kazuha remarked with a mischievous smile, his amber eyes sparkling. "let’s make the best of it, shall we?"

you nodded eagerly, having grown fond of kazuha's company over the past few weeks. his carefree nature always brought a sense of joy to any situation. as you embarked on your mission, you and kazuha engaged in playful banter and light-hearted teasing, each teasing comment met with laughter.

little did you know, scara was watching from a distance, his eyes following your every move. He couldn't help but feel jealousy rising within him. his blunt, cold demeanor masked a deeper vulnerability, and the thought of you enjoying someone else's company didn't sit well with him.

as the day wore on, scara’s jealousy escalated. he began to repeatedly mutter under his breath, his words filled with bitterness. "why is everyone drawn to her? can’t they see i’m right here?" he grumbled, unable to hide his frustration.

meanwhile, you and kazu were completely engrossed in your mission, unaware of scara’s growing resentment. the sun painted the sky in shades of orange and pink as evening settled in, casting a warm glow on the city. the mission had been a success, but scara couldn't find any solace in that.

finally, unable to contain his envy any longer, scara confronted you as you bid farewell to kazuha with a hug. scaras features contorted with frustration, his voice tinged with a mix of anger and vulnerability. "why do you always have to seek attention from others? can’t you see i’m here too?" he snapped, annoyance evident in his tone.

taken aback by his sudden outburst, you looked at scara, his harsh words only fueling your confusion. "scara, what are you talking about? kazuha and I were just having fun. it doesn't mean I don't appreciate your presence. you paired me up with him, so why are you being like this?!"

"youre being wayy too fucking touchy with him! and exchanging jokes too like as if you dont have me." he crossed his arms, while he puffed his cheeks out, signifying he was irritated. "scara, were just friends and you know that! plus he already has lumine!" you put a hand on your hips.

"yeah but no need to hug him! if you want someone to hug, im here." his forehead popped a vein, clearly telling that he was pissed the thought of you hugging someone other than him. "ugh, im pissed off now. if you enjoy time with him more then get with him." and that made you scoff.

"scara i never said anything about enjoying more with him! look...are you just..jealous?" you came to that conclusion...why else would he be mad, he never acted this way before.

"im not jealous! it was just a violence impulse that took over for a second." he would scoff before shifting his hat to block his face. "so in other words, jealous." you couldn't help but chuckle, and in that moment, he roughly clasped your wrist.

"well im pissed and pent up now! help me." with an effortless grace, he swept you up in a bridal-style embrace, then lifted both of you, soaring towards the direction of your shared abode. "wha-" was the last word you said before he took off.

sooner or later, you both reached your abode, scara gently places you down, harshly grabbing your wrist again. "ah-scara that hurts." your wrist ached at the sides, but your complaints fell on deaf ears as he continued to pull you into the house, heading for your shared room.

you would sigh, before finally speaking. "what do you want? cuddles? kisses?" the echo of scaras firm footsteps resonated through the house as he led you to the room. he harshly pulled you into the bed with him. "eat me out." his words left your eyes open wide.

"seriously..? now?" you eyed at him, intertwining gazes. "im pissed about that kazuha dude, so help me out here!" he can already be seen taking off his garments, till the only armor left visible on him was his black under-suit. "hurry.." he would grab your head, lowering it down to his aching pussy, begging for you to lick and suck on.

"dont order me around." you push his hand off you with a sigh. "ill make it up to you alright..? even though it wasnt my intents to make you jealous.." you whispered the last part. "well then hurry up! need to cum, and we havent been able to do it for so long since you were so fucking busy with missions!" you let out a chuckle. "i know im sorry."

you would move the suit that would cover his heat, revealing his pussy, pustulating on nothing but air. "so eager to be touched already." "mmh hurrryy." he would buck his hips towards you, running out of patience. "now now, no need to hurry, lets make this more exciting for you, mkay?" you eyed at him, before heading to the nearby table stand, you deftly opened the drawer, revealing two soft, neatly folded cloths. with a quick and precise motion, you reached out and secured them in your grasp.

scara rubs his thighs together, looking so...excited. he was biting his lips as he couldnt contain his thrill, he always loved the thought of being tied up. "do you want to try th-" "yes, please." he said with no hesitation. to be honest, you didnt think he would be up for this, so, there you bind his wrists together and then secure a blindfold over his eyes. the thought of not knowing where you would touch next had aroused him so much.

before scara can even say 'hurry', you tongue was already on his clit. sucking and swirling the soft muscle on it. "mmghff~!" scara muffled out, shuddering in pleasure as he moans out. traveling both of your thumbs to his folds, spreading them as you glide your tongue sensually along it. emitting pornographic moans from scaras lips. thighs quivering from the way your tongue skillfully pleasures him.

bucking his hips towards your face more, you take this as in he wanted more...inserting your tongue inside while your thumb caressed small circles on his clit, it sent him into an intoxicating whirlwind of pleasure. eliciting moans here and there. his head thrown back as his hands tried to find something to take hold on.

scara could almost cum on the spot right now...just a bit more and..there you halt your movements. "huh..? hey, whyd you stop..." he would whine, bringing his own fingers to stimulate his clit, but you slap it away. "no touching yourself, plus, im all worked up too." you say and he can hear the sounds of clothes shuffling and falling onto the ground. "lay down." you commanded and he obliged.

and there, youre on top of him, you ass facing him, laid on top of his heat as his arms were secured around you, creating a 69 position. "do it together mk?" he nods eagerly and already starts eating you out like he hasnt eaten in years. your thighs trembles, but that didnt stop you from sucking his clit again. sucking, licking, and fingering his bud had him feeling satisfied, even forgetting why he was pent up in the first place.

moans emitting from your mouth due to the way hes sucking your clit, not even stopping to take a break. stimulating you so hard youre almost at your climax, but you hold it in, wanting to come together with scara. the smell of sex and sweat is filled in the air, tasting his sweet, sweet juices, the flavors dancing delightfully on your tongue. "nnghf! y/n...gonna cum..!" he mutters out, sending vibrations to your clit.

"together..!" were the last words you said before both of the individuals squirted on each others faces. sucking and lapping up the juices that were dripping out. moans and grunts escaping from your lips, and scara tried catching up with his breathing. he let out a sigh, his breath escaping in pants. wet patches staining the bedsheets.

getting off of him, you plop your worn out body next to his. "enjoy?" gently removing the restraints, you tenderly caress his soft cheeks "yeah, whatever." chuckling before kissing his lips. "im tired. lets sleep now." he would mutter out before snuggling himself to your neck. cuddling him to sleep. you guys were exhausted already and you could always clean up the next day. scara forgot all about kazuha, now his worries were gone.

requests open!

[beast-to-be-tamed]

ive never gone into anyone's asks before so i'm kinda shy rn aaah but i want u to put me in a mating press while u pump me full of ur thick cock, all the while licking the tears from my face n degrading me for being such a dirty slut :( ajskajsja i wanna be ur free use cockslut sm u have noooo idea !!! i want u to force eye contact w me too while u push onto the bulge in my tummy whenever u thrust inside my tiny cunt bc u're jus so big :( n you'll jus overstimulate me until all i can ever think abt is ur cock bc u've already trained me to become ur good n obedient fucktoy... maybe even throatfuck my mouth while my eyes r already half closed n i'm jus drooling everywhere, already completely fucked stupid but i cant get enough so i still play w my cunt w no more energy left eventho it could never make me squirt like u could... AAAH i'm so sorry kajsajsjaj,

-🧸

Why are you sorry, pretty thing? Don't be sorry! I'm so proud of you for sending this ask, baby, you have no idea! It must have taken allllll your cute little braincells to put together something as coherent as this, especially when you're busy touching your cunt and dripping everywhere for me.

I'd love to fuck you in a mating press, hook your ankles over my shoulders and press your knees to your ears, right baby? You're flexible, or at least I'll make you flexible. You'll be flexible for me, yeah? You'll be good and do what Johnny wants. Anything I want, 'cause you're a dumb slut for fat werewolf cock, hm?

It's cute that you think I'll hold back from just shoving my rough tongue down your throat while you moan all cute for me! Your tears are delicious, and I love the way you hiccup when I hit your cervix, but I have lots of spit for you to drink down, yeah? So just be careful you don't bite down, because I promise my teeth are sharper, doll.

I'd be happy to hold your neck in my claws so you look at me as I rub my paw over your tummy. When I get my knot in you it isn't even a question of whether or not your stomach will bulge - it's a given. And your tight throat would feel so nice around my cock too... why bother with your hands, though, when you can hump my boot, puppy?

[dirtangeldean]

hi ren! i was wondering why you don't want your donation post tagged? tagging crowdfunding etc posts helps me find them again on my blog easily to rereblog in case they haven't hit their goal yet but i don't wanna make you uncomfortable

cw: weight talk/health issues

anon hiiii, i’m really glad you asked this and finally have capacity to write out fully why! so thank you 🤗

among the millions of users on this app, some things have gotten super cemented as The Way™ but that means staff knows it too.

while the 4 tags: “s***nal b***t”, c**wdf*nd”, “d**nation”, and “mu**al a*d” may seem helpful for sorting and awareness at face value, we as users have been using and overusing them for years. it’s like a sick joke to chronically poor “ebeggers” as we have been named by old reddit.

bottom line is staff hates poor people; even before they decided to take away tipping soon, they flagged posts and sh**ow ba**ed accounts, deleted users (usual poor and black/indigenous/of color) while letting gen pop think they were doing a good job. my main account has over 3k followers and i cant get any post i make over 3 notes anymore despite being a semi popular radical blog.

my messaging was taken away. i could hit post limit and still have activity of max 20 notes a day. the post itself could be randomly deleted or even hard to search all of a sudden even with a tag. it’s awful to be isolated on the internet when you’re poor. :/ call me paranoid but i barely touch my main account now.

anyway, my fandom blog doesn’t deserve a forced lack of community and i love you guys too much to not be able to see/be seen or talk to my friends. ive already been told by staff that this blog was flagged as spam once and they took away my messages, right after my last sciatic spasm. it took Weeks to get messages back.

it was awful, i was living in the dark and only eating egg cheese sandwiches or sugar rice and water bc i couldnt afford anything else. i’m not going back to that. i’ve gained weight that is making my bones hurt bc of my poverty food choices and forced sedentary lifestyle while healing my back. and i’m only just now getting back going walking and being employed sporadically. it’s super hard to not have help and not have a job bc of disability discrimination AND have deconditioned muscles. poor nutrition is horrible for muscle. it’s even harder to stomach getting 3 thousand notes on something and $17 while i owe Thousands the way it works on my main account.

if i can do anything to advocate for myself, it’s to ask this: dont use old, overused tags. get creative with tags so more people see and wont restrict me. tag comerades/mutuals in the post. tag the post with a random well wish like “good luck” or something. literally anything but the most common 4 tags. the same way people get creative with the name for their queues!

i made a post about other/different tags that can be used but it doesnt have a ton of notes, i tried looking for and i cant find it which shows 1. the tumblr tagging system still sucks 2. it will never get a ton of notes. many of the posts in the tags mention in the beginning of this post barely reach 100 notes. mathematically a post could need like 9,000 notes to be fully funded depending on the amount. there’s a post in there with 22 notes, unless that person makes a new post everyday (i know a person who does that), it’s a wasted effort and some days i barely have spoons to get up and relieve myself tbh :/

anyway, especially with things that took years to happen or months to fix, it’d just be nice if post got notes into 1k-10k territory to be effective.

i hope some or any of this answers your question, let me know if you have more! have a great day!

[theinfectedtim]

This is gonna sound harsh and thats fine

You care too much

This isnt meant in the nothing matters way. Things will happen and even if you could do something then so what, the world will continue regardless.

Nothing matters so whatever, the world continues.

Stop caring and just do stuff, the world continues and so should you

The worries is time wasted, something so little you could spend it better

Caring too much again

Whats stopping you from taking that step

Worries mostly, useless things never helped you with anything

Made you lash out

Stop trying to forget, dont focus on remembering just let it be no changing it

Keep trying to focus on actions, worry about what others might thing or react, dont want them to react but want them to give praise? Aknowledge?

Stop caring just do take the plunge stop holding your strings up

Change is good, mind can change, not a rock rocks can change a pillar for others hollow mask obvious and brittle falls away want to do good but what

But what

Be too harsh not harsh enough

Too harsh

Taken it slow for long enough

Scared of close to you seeing and the illusion breaking

Its okay

Just care less about those things, find joy and the escapes shouldnt replace this here

Stories to replace the this to escape? To fix? Small fixes too things steps to far too important too things you cant change

Baby steps, own steps own way

The labels are stupid

Who is you and what part are they is from them

When did you lose you

Its been an escape for so long

Too many worries, worries kept you from doing stupid stuff, made you do stupid stuff

The selfhate was stupid

Never understood others them, always stories

Started when left the place

Always infected, others aswell tim mostly

Tiffany?

A boy a man not a man but a man? Dont feel like i am adulting like adults

Know nobody feels like an adults, its what they say and ive pretended well enough aswell, might have made a kid doubt himself

Always masks for pretending

Not always pretending

Want too help, too lazy to help?

Different ways worries about seeming weird

Help isnt weird

Maybe suspisous, worried about bad intentions, too many thoughts about the small offers of help they can help themselfs but help is always nice? Maybe also worried about asking for help maybe maybe not

Should care more

Shouldnt worry so much

Already care enough, act on it

Worried others will worry bc of it, dont want to worry them so never talk about anything

Nothing changes always the same pillor of support for them

Always there

Dont want to bother dont know what to say what to do nothing matches enjoy too little of the same they might be busy

Not best friend best friend

Worried they stick around out of pity dont want pity will accept pity if its the only thing

Less clamps less restraint when now will regret when asking tired should go to sleep

Knowing not pity little bit pity said asked before not sure

Want them to see want to say cant say

Made myself like this

Can change did it before done it again

Why always change

Bucket always full tips over slightly never empty

Hungry a bit already again

Want to taste old new but never did

Steadfast same always change now weird not weird can change maybe wont again worried about comments

Stupid and still stops me

Disconnect between mind and voice

Slower relay takes time other ways also slow? Voice takes longer, movement faster unclear maybe

Had worse dont know the difference anymore little difference between pains

Worse than then? No not worse so doenst hurt? Feel it so hursts? Feel a poke with a finger react as hurt but it doesnt hurt, reaction mostly

Makes no sense honestly

Wont talk should talk, want them to see to worry to care but dont want them to worry

Talking should help is said dont know if this counts didnt intent for it dont wont delete it would be unjust to me? Keep it dont forget it

Awake aware but different when just awoken more restraint chains?

[solardick]

Portents are strong today. A soider a dove, teo geese, and a criw all in sync. With present happenings. One after the other.

But, i don’t think those pills are working. Not today.

I saw a pretty girl today. She has those eyes. Those. Intense peircing eyes. That i like. And she has a turn on. Its her neck. I can tell. The guy was too much. I wuestion if he was flirting. But she thought. No. As she seemed to measure me up. I want to go back and ask her what she thi ks about god.

I deal with people like this all day. He says. Have you ever had a hard on when you take a shit? Like it touches the right spot. And you get turned on?

….. no nate ive never had a hard on taking a shit before. Jesus fuck. Had a prostate test done once. Where’s the hype? I think they think i have sexula identity issues. Nope. Last i checked i have a penis.

Ok. Spider on my boot. Running late. Go figure Aries season. Hot tempers. Get a lift and some bite to eat. Two geese fly by. As one walks up to the door. Comes back to say something immoral. And light a smoke. Crow goes by. As he goes back in the teo geese fly by but, not together.

The dove was an after effect it seems. There she was. Perched on the lines slender and soft. I said hello. Or hey dove. And she hoowed back. Maybe that was coincende without the magic. Its was neat though. Cause she looked.

But my new coleage is taken out. And now. There’s literally no one i want to work with stick with these asshole saying bs. Like the above. Or the complete opposite. Oh yeah im the shit i get so much pussy. 🙄 or the other guy cursing and swearing all fucken day. Foot uo uour ass this my foot up your ass that. Fucken cocksuker. Fuck this fuck that. What you prettending to be my father? Suprise gifts in the van im supposed to unload found by someone else. Ugh. Day in day out. Its kike they’re not even trying anymore.

Well i guess ibs is out.

Start lookign for another job i guess. Not like i’ll fond one. But, maybe.

I dont force my words on anyone. People like trouble. Cause they tet to act and be superior. Rightious. Or so crap like that. I dont know. I cant think like that. Goes agaisnt instinct. And if i was involved i’d be like thouse better people who sit by and watch without intent. Half of them are criminal. Yup. Thats life. And that right! I get it. I sense it. Never relished always apart. Over 20 years. I was raised in this. Bred in one direction. Someone else’s. Maybe thats why god talks to me. Its the only real relationship i have. Not a trace if me seeing anything destructive or ill intent on. With concern about tossing my butt on the ground and not putting it in my pocket. Even though im conflicted cause i smoke. And alot of these portents all speak around quitting smoking. And, they keep fucken woth me. Controling output.

That was nice though. A few solid seconds of hard eye contact. Got to keep the tempo low. Bass. Its in the tone. Not really having one. More like static.

When the mind goes into this state. And life is found in these words. And not corrupted out by bs. But they keep on me. And keep bronging it back. Wasting my time. Year after year.

🤷🏻‍♂️ if you talk to nature. Nature talks back. None of these people get that. My family didnt get it either. Neither did anynof my friends. My enemies…. I took anpicturenof the clouds on the opposite side of the eclipse. Wanna see? If you havent already.

Taken at 3:33 pm or 15:33 pm. As time has its own rule to add to the cards.

Over the constelations of Cepheus across to the star Polaris. Below is draco the dragon hovering over the parking lot. What used to do is try and fond connections in mythology. To describe the constelations or add life to its. Pluralized. You wouldn’t use a plural for it. Could say them. But, it’s not a person.

Like type a search.

Well thats not true.

I found a missing word in our language. Its so obvious. Maybe that comes woth learning a new alphabet and different grammar. Thats cool. Still. Wheres my word? I dont want to personalize portents or omens. Yin and yang. Personalize objects. Maybe its a cause of mental illness having an incomplete language. Sundenly tripping balls on gods knows what. And stuff starts coming alive and speaking. Cartons have onjects and furniture alive with personalilities maybe that a reason as to why that word foesnt exist. Its all in the control of the fantasy.

And i dont have the strength or the courage to leave. Ao just keep fucken with me.

But its great. I get to yell at someone all day. While they say. Yeah, no, it’s ok.

Liar.

[disco-cola]

honestly the more time im spending reading up on the past and current metal scene and seeing videos and comment sections in which people are pointing fingers at others calling them posers if you dont dress and look a certain way, if you listen to certain bands especially the popular ones (because apparently popularity to them means less credibility and skill which makes no sense but whatever) and arent a fan of some obscure death metal band with two albums (also not implying they cant be good but its that seemingly FORCED liking of lesser known stuff and ONLY naming non-popular bands as your favorites and making it a crime to like the bigger ones) and its usually still men acting totally condescending calling people posers like okay i also dont like people wearing shirts of bands they dont even LIKE or LISTEN TO like i genuinely dont get it cause i seen band shirts that had nice designs that i still didnt get bc i simply didnt like or knew the band enough so i dont wanna promote it on my body its as simple as that but otherwise idgaf if you get bandshirts at fuckin h&m or wherever if you really are a fan bc ive said before i totally understand that not everybody has the money or time or thrifting luck to look for merch that was not produced by a chainstore but if you love the band thats all that should matter like ive been in the 70s classic rock online scene for years and i dont think ive ever seen people being called "posers" for liking zeppelin, hendrix, floyd, deep purple etc.? like you were rather weird if you DIDNT name them as some of your favorites because lets be real back then a lot of bands got so popular BECAUSE they were extremely good (and like dont get me wrong i have deep dived into 60s-80s music for the past ten years and i know a LOTTT of unpopular stuff thats also extremely good but instead of wanting to gatekeep it i actually get upset on the regular that it isnt more known but like i wouldnt go around asking other 70s music fans if they know them and then call them a poser if they say no) but for some reason in the metal scene thats different apparently and i also noticed that years ago already in the punk scene as well that certain bands were not taken seriously anymore after they reached a certain popularity level and gained a wider audience but i always think especially when it comes to punk its funny when people are so concerned about "posers" and think you need to dress and wear your hair a certain way and have a certain set attitude and saying "this is punk" or "that is punk" because its like dude saying stuff like this just goes to show you absolutely missed and didnt get the essence and concept of punk at all lol makes you just as much a poser at the end of the day doesnt it? and i feel the same goes for the metal scene. like at this point i dont think i, especially as a woman, wouldnt even wanna try to be a part of it, not in the 80s and not today either, it was soo male dominated and still is and because it honestly seems like a drag like i literally couldnt be bothered i also like way too many other different genres of music as well and couldnt be stuck on listening to just ONE and if that makes me a "poser" then yeah so be it it honestly wouldnt even faze me

[eyeofthetaiga]

wait i havrnt taken my meds inb3 days bc ive been stomach sick and i need to like vent or whatever bc i am more hyper aware of my anger and sadness off my meds 🤪

speaking of which my brother drunkenly apologized for some stuff but did not explicitly bring up the almost punching me thing and claimed to love me

and i just wanted to go home so i said ilu too and he was like no i love you more thsn you love me

and i wanted to scream YOURE DAMN RIGHT BECAUSE I HATE YOU

like i still love him bc hes my brother but i hate him

like you legitimately yelled st me threatened to punch me in the face and being drunk while doing it doesnt make it better or excusable

and the fact that nobody stood up for me and my parents defended him and my other brother didnt say anything in my defense and i asked one of my friends if i could go to her house and she was like shit i cant my not-boyfriend is here

it really felt like a massive betrayal and reminder that I'm not valued which i already kinda knew i know im not the favorite i know they love me as their daughter in the most bare minimum way but it still hurts to know they care more for their sons

thats just the fate of most daughters maybe you are expendable and you should be grateful for everything to feel like your existence is tolerated

as for the friend im like still friends w her ive wanted to bring it up but it's hard esp bc im aware to some extent im being immature or smth but it felt stupid to me so i will be bringing it up one day or if she needs help one day i will probably give her the same treatment which is immature and awful but i am apparently both those things

and it's worse bc i know i think theyre right you cant completely unlearn that shit after 20+ years of it and especially not when youre still struggling to get a stupid bachelor's degree in something youre not even sure you wanna do and you have a stupid brain that cant handle going outside and cant focus on anything

anyway thats why it'd be nice to have someone who made me feel wanted which is embarrassing to admit which is stupid bc every human being wants that everyone wants to feel wanted but im like stupidly ashamed of wanting it its the body issues and the mental issues teaming up to completely fuck me over

anyway i have to make an animated film to graduate and i was thinking of including a scene where the main character kills their mom and whole family violently passionately

if that says anything about my years of pent up rage and grief

that fucking "all daughters turn into bloodthirsty hounds after years of licking their own wounds and biting their tongues"

[running-with-kn1ves]

OOH OOH HAPPY 1000 FOLLOWER MILESTONE LESSGO—sooo ive been seeing a lot of this go around in the yandere asmr community, so thats why im asking that maybe you could do your own version of the whole adopting a yandere scenario👉👈 (whenever i listen to these i cant help but think that what if the tour guide is actually the yandere amongst all yanderes in the place—makes me want to adopt him instead ngl🥲)

Yess!! I've honestly only heard a few of these ASMR prompts but they are really interesting... It opens up so much room for the different kinds and levels of yanderes. I'd love to make this like a multi- part thing, or like a match-up. That would be so cool :,0

I love the idea of the tour guide being a possible "undercover" yandere, who hasn't admitted to being one yet, or who is in 'recovery' and that's why they have the job.

Though, what about the yandere you're supposed to adopt? The levels range from dangerous to least harmful, with a mile-long list of different traumas and possessive traits. Prefer one who's least likely to kill you? The younger, more sensitive types are your style. How about one who could keep you in a suffocating cuddle for hours? There's plenty of those to go around. Best not to make eye contact with any you aren't planning on taking home with you, though. Once they set their eyes on something they want, well... you know how difficult it is to keep them away from it.

There's a month long process of different screenings and background checks, all to make sure you'll be a suitable home to rehabilitate your yandere. Different levels of tests will be given, each which make sure you can handle their extreme behaviors that range from mood swings to bursts of murderous rage. Adopting a yandere isn't like adopting a dog; no, rather its more like dealing with a jealous, insecure cat with knives for claws, that doesn't hesitate to threaten your family's lives if you dare to step outside of the house.

Adopting a calmer, more shy yandere with low self-esteem always appears to be the best option, but it has its undersides that often don't go noticed until its too late. . Their yandere traits come out in little ways, and at firstyou start to think its not so bad. That is, until the crying starts.

They are always crying, always begging you to stay near, to sleep in the same bed, to bathe together. And if you coddle them, the behavior only sticks. But there comes a point, where all their emotional baggage builds up, growing on top of the already mountain-high level of negative feelings they harbor. And eventually, they snap. It could be a nice Sunday evening when all of a sudden you find yourself with two broken legs, sobbing in your own basement. You think, how could this have happened? I did everything right; I gave them love and dried their tears when they cried, so why?

These types actually need a more stern, parental figure than someone who will excuse them. While on the other hand, the brutes, the more violent types, need someone patient and kind. These yanderes tend to go after darlings that are alluring, but not those who offer them kindness and a gentle hand. Though, be warned, you won't adopt these yanderes without some cuts and bruises in the process. They dislike affection at first, terrified of breaking down their walls, merely wanting to keep you in their view but not touching or conversing with you. But once you manage to get past their scarred exterior and their bite, you'll find nothing but a big softie underneath.

They enjoy spending their time with you, smothering you in material items and affection. These yanderes are often taken advantage of, and are quick to point fingers if you don't reassure them often enough. But other than their few sets of rules, these yanderes are the most capable of having an average life, as long as you can take being chained up every once in a while to satiate their fears.

Though you better have committed to this adoption by the time they bare their vulnerabilities, otherwise you might find yourself in a world of pain. These yanderes don't take betrayal likely, and may cause a bit more than a few scratches if they find out you intend to give them back.

And then there's the third level... The level that hardly ever gets adopted on account of their utter sadism and complete apathy for human life. These yanderes are the most dangerous and are regarded as the highly un-adoptable. They aren't allowed to be adopted by your average joe, and security clearance is a must to even witness them in person. They aren't safe to be moved into a home immediately, and trials must take place with you first before adoption is considered. These yanderes have often been returned a multitude of times, have committed crimes in mass quantities, or were never qualified for adoption to begin with due to their extremity.

These yanderes may range from entirely mute, to oddly charismatic. They come from a range of (usually traumatic) backgrounds, and tend to attach quickly without showing the usual signs. They're mass manipulators, and have no qualms about doing the extreme to keep you in their grasp.

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

[waifu-13]

Please commander ,  a guren x F!reader smut

tw- choking, degrading, praising {good girl}, creampie? , public sex? 18+

you had joined the vampire extermination squad with the same goal as everyone else, to defeat the vamps but your interred changed once you saw your latent general.. guren, he was some nice eye candy, his messy black hair, his purple eyes so full of mystery, the amount of times you've trained together made you question his motives with you, knowing gurens past with using people as test subjects made you wonder if you where just one of his new lab rats.. oneday your question got answered, it was a day that could be described as normal... intill  commander guren called you into his room in the lad, boy was it a pain to get there but you soon realize how worth it it will be. 

“y/n.. what took you so long” the general walks over to you. he looks so stressed an emotions that's normally hard to read on him. “I'm sorry latent general the guard's where being tight on security today” you respond looking down afraid to meet his gaze with a swift motion he gently his middle finger under your chin to make you meet his beautiful purple eyes “ill except that excuse only this once y/n understand me? “ you nod quickly words caught in ur throat. the tall man walks back to his chair looking back down on the lab, you stay in the same spot to worry to move the air is thick full of tension.. but a tension you cant put ur fingers on.. “Y/n come sit” he says patting his lap. “commander you mustn joke like that.” he looks you up and down with the same expression he uses during fights.. a very serious one.. one that sends shivers down ur spine.. “y/n “ he deepens his voice to a more serious tone “ I'm not joking. now I'm making that an order from ur commander” you look at him shocked but you shyly walk over and sit on his lap laying ur back on his form  chest.  “commander guren.. why did you call me here? low ranks aren't allowed here” he doesn't give u a real answer he simply starts kissing your neck which makes your breath get caught in ur throat.. ”y/n.. say the word and ill stop ..but if not then take everything i say from here on out as an order..” “yes commander” he can feel him smirk against ur neck.. “good y/n..you always listen so well to me.. is it cause im ur latent general or something more” you freeze at his words..knowing if you dont respond quick hell know ur answer “g-genaral im just following orders..” he sees through ur stuttered out answer.. with that he stands up bending you over the table running his hand along ur clothed ass “didnt i say take everything i say from here on out as an order? so why lie to ur commander hm? “  you let out a quite whine, he hums pleased at ur reaction he smacks ur ass “im gonna ask this again y/n answer honestly.. do u listen cuz im ur commander or another reason” he slides his hand into ur uniform bottoms his fingers running over ur clothed cunt “something more commander” you partly whine out weak to his touch “good, ive taken in interested in you to y/n, now the new mission  plan has got me stressed.. im gonna relive it using u” he slips ur bottoms and underwear off slipping one of his fingers into you the other toying at ur clit “y-yes c-commander please” he slips another flinger in “begging already y/n? are you that weak for me? or are you just a desperate fucking slut hm?” he takes his free hand to lower his pants freeing his hared cock.. you come to the realization of whats happening “w-wait.. guren thats not appropriate for here” he didn't seem too care as he slides himself inside you with a hard thrust wrapping one of his gloved hands around ur neck.. leaning close to ur ear to say “one what did you just call me? thats commander guren to you and two” he stops and thrust into you again this one rougher then the first “  i dont care if its appropriate or not if your so worried then keep it down” ending his sentence fully pulling out then thrusting back in keep his pace slow but rough you moan out his name causing him to slap ur ass using his free hand which he then uses to grip ur waist tight.. you know it will leave finger's prints tomorrow. His speed picking up he wasn't ever fair while training that carried over to how he was now fucking you .. unfair.. the tease he is..”c-commader faster please” the hand he had around ur neck got a bit tighter ‘’good girl addressing ur superiors  properly. ill reward you “ he went faster almost making you wish hadn't asked him to speed up.. your legs start to shake . nearing cumming due to  the rough fast thrust he was doing he was quck to notice and sped up more knowing you were close.. as he was nearing his high as well he bites ur neck sucking a few hickeys then whispers “ be a good girl and cum with ur commander” between how he bit ur neck and his voice whispering such things to you sent you over the edge “COMMANDERR” you scream out as he makes you cum not long after you u feel him cum inside you leaving you full. after that he pulls ur underwear and shorts up “need help back to ur room?” he ask smirking knowing damn well what ur answer will be.. 

[secretsniper2]

Late for Class..

“Im going to be late! Again! Why cant I wake up on time, stupid alarm clock, Im breaking it when I get home I swear!”

Its my usual response really, but I already know full well why I stay up so late, last night I tried to cum for 4 hours before I finally gave up and went to sleep, I just cant seem to manage a single orgasm, all I do is edge and make the throbbing worse! What's wrong with me? I was in such a rush Im only wearing a Simple plaid skirt with pink panties and thin white top with a poorly chosen black bra that shows clearly through my even poorer choice of top, tight 3 inch boots on my legs, A single tear flies off my eye as I rush to the station, I don't want to miss my train today or I really will be late for class.

Dashing through the station, my long brown hair flowing behind me as I make my way to the platform, Its packed, Ill be lucky to get a seat, odds are ill be standing today but at least I made it in time, “Might make it to classes after all.” I think to myself with a smile. Train arrives and I brace for the rush, and as the doors open Im pushed by other commuters into the train and soon enough were all packed in like sardines, barely room to myself I notice that Im being pushed up into someone larger than most in this carriage. He is tall, 2 full heads taller than me, Brown hair and large beard, his green eyes looking down and not just into my own green eyes, but seemingly through them, staring at me harder than any other has before.

The people everywhere still fighting for more space pushes me further into this man as our eyes still locked onto each other as my chest presses into his and i can feel my nipples starting to get harder under my bra, Im still aroused from my poorly timed marathon last night and this man seems to have figured my arousal out, his arm moves around me and pulls me even closer as his other arm moves between us and touches my stomach with his big warm hands. 

Still locking eyes with me my mouth opens slightly as I feel his hand begin to slide down my leg and twist up my skirt, fingers crazing my slick thighs, and moments later caressing them, his fingers are being coated in my shame from last night. Sliding up my juice coated thighs his hand continues up till he cups my sex, Im soaked, dripping and desperately needy, moaning instantly into the gaze of this man the second he touched my pussy, my thin pink panties might as well not even be there since I soaked them through completely as his hands were trailing up my thighs before he even touched my wet sex.

A finger peels my useless panties off my pussy as I feel 2 fingers touch my clit and begin to rub, forcing louder moans as I break eye contact as his other hand, which had been holding me closer launches over my mouth and silences me before anyone could take notice to the moan, good think too as his massaging of my clit is making me moan harder and harder without stopping and it only took this man 12 seconds to bring me to a solid edge, it takes me much longer to get my edging started but this man.. 

Another edge hits as his fingers rub around my labia as he scratches at my clit constantly, dragging fresh moans from my face I feel him pushing a thick finger into my pussy slightly, seeming to test my pussy, its a tight fit, he knows Im a virgin now for sure, only a virgin is this tight to a single finger and I close my eyes as the idea of being raped on this crowded train as my first time slaps me with a edge on its own..

The movements of the train barely phase this man as his hand remains locked to my soaked pussy, his finger curled under pressing a knuckle into my nervous hole as his fingertip flicks at my clit, Im being overloaded, its far more intense than what iv ever done to myself and this man has only been in sexual contact with me for little over a minute and iv edged 4 times now.. 5 times now, his finger wont stop scratching at my clit, while his remaining fingers massage my labia from the base of my pussy to where my clit sits, Im being tortured and no one here is aware because a small girl is being gagged by a hand!

Constant stimulation has reduced my pussy to a source of ever flowing juices as my inner thighs are soaked down to my knees, if my boots weren't nice and tight id likely be standing on my toes in boots filled with proof of my arousal, thankfully they remain tight and my feet are dry inside though Im still being edged while standing on my toes almost making my legs give out beneath me. My juices flowing down my boots and pooling between my feet and the streams on my legs and the constant droplets from the mans hand keep expanding my puddle of need! I hate how turned on I am!

Pulling up to a station at last, I have 4 stops till I get to mine as I look back into this mans eyes, he still staring down, studying my expression and face as his other hand raises from my hand and a finger pushes past my lips and I instantly begin to swirl my tongue around it, I cant stop myself at this point as I suck hard on the finger rubbing my tongue as I moan in bliss as i hit edge after edge, as my head starts to shift back and forth, Im now giving this finger a blowjob and I cant stop myself, Im being swallowed in pleasure.

Another station and I slam into my 15th edge, my mind is in a haze as I drool as my head bobs back and forth on his finger with enthusiasm Im embarrassed Im showing someone who is essentially drugging me with my own arousal! My eyes unfocused as I feel his gaze still burning onto my face as my head drones on his finger, tongue working the underside of his finger as the suction Im giving is pulling my cheeks in on the draw back, my clit being rubbed to another mind breaking edge as we pull into another station and more people leave and enter the train. 2 stops to go, if I can even bring myself to go by then! And as i get to another edge the man leans in, removes his finger and locks his lips to mine, his tongue launching in and kissing me deeply, his saliva covered hand moving behind my head holding me in his kiss.

Making out with this man in brought to another edge quickly followed by another edge as the kiss goes in I melt into this man, legs going limp as I slam into another edge, my eyes fluttering as the man releases my mouth from his probing kiss as his finger drives back in and pulls against my jaw so Im forced to look back as he draws my focus as he pinches my clit before removing his pussy scented hand and licking his glossy fingers. Doors open and Im immediately pulled from the train, 1 stop early but the man doesn't care, his hand behind my head had lowered to my waist when the door had opened as he leads me out the train and through the station.

Walking out to the street the man directs me to the parking lot and a large van unlocks as we approach, I slow my pace but am met with a strong arm still wrapped around me as Im almost dragged to his van. Opening the side door I look around, 1 single seat with multiple bolts around the van, Pushing me into the seat Im quickly tied to the seat as i sit open mouthed in shock, the situation still not beating out my haze completely. Opening my mouth to voice something, anything, a cry for help, a plea for my safety, but as my mouth opens a finger dives in, its the same finger that was rubbing my throbbing clit earlier, I can taste my pussy on his fingers, smell the pure need I left on him.

“You don't say a fucking word, understood?” The man growls with a deep voice, echoing in my head I nod pathetically as his finger withdraws and a ring gag is pushed into my still open mouth, ensuring that my mouth stays open as drool quickly starts to pool in my mouth and flow through my ring and onto my thin white shirt.

Hopping in the drivers seat the man starts the van and we go for a drive, I cant see much outside the front windshield as the interior has been covered in padding to keep any silly screams for help between us 2 in the van. Tears start to form in my eyes as the man looks in the mirror and sees me dead centre of his view, he raises a remote and presses it and I jump in my bondage, my seat is vibrating! its formed in such a way my entire pussy is resting on a new vibrating pad, Im being forced to ride a vibrator while the man continues to drive, chuckling as I moan aloud, drool flowing onto my covered chest, the thin top soaking and sticking to me it almost fades when wet so it looks like Im not even wearing a shirt now!

10 minutes? 20? I don't know, the haze has returned as Im forced into more edges, and hearing a occasional chuckle I know when the man looks at me in his mirror as I lazily look around the van or up to meet his gaze when he drinks in my situation, was this all planned by him or was my abduction a spur of the moment thing? I don't know, and I cant ask with this ring in my mouth, only moan as I hit another edge and drool onto my generous breasts.

Pulling into a alleyway the man shuffles back and grabs my phone, Asking for the password i have little choice but to give him access and he starts going through my personal info, Smiling as he reads 1 of my bank statements.

“Looks like your going to be in debt a while Anna!” He says with a smile forcing a pathetic growl from my open mouth.

Reading my phones diary he goes into my private notes and laughs out loud and I hear him say the diary title “Orgasm Attempts” and my face burns red, Never having experienced a orgasm in my life for some unknown reason and now this man knows and I cant stop him!

“Lets run a test then! since were already in a nice place!” He says as Im untied from the still vibrating seat and the door is opened, thrown out of the van I notice Im not even in the city we took the train to, he's taken me somewhere I don't know! As the man follows he grabs my arm and lifts me up casually and spins me around and pushes my face against the alley wall, Hearing a zipper open i start resisting in earnest and Im rewarded for my resistance by hearing rapid clicking and something cold wrapping around my wrist, having my arm pulled behind my back then more cold clicking on my other wrist..

Iv been handcuffed! I cant push off the wall, I cant push him away! Im as helpless as a child and can do about as much as 1. Feeling my skirt get raised up and tucked into itself my ass is on display, pink thong parting my firm cheeks as he runs a thick finger down the band and pulls my thin layer of fabric and only cover aside and a monstrous pressure hits my asshole, his cock is lined up and my butt is about to take a beating. With ring gag still in my mouth i bite down as pain flows through me, my tight ass has only ever had small plugs and occasional finger enter but now Im taking a 4 finger thick rod in my ass my eyes are watering fast!

Blinking back tears as a moan scream combo rushes out as he thrusts hard and slams into me, his balls slapping my soaked pussy as Im impaled by a solid dry cock, and to my shame I hot another edge as he bottomed out, pulling back drew out another sound, I felt like i would throw up when he quickly thrust back in, raping my tight ass in a alleyway where anyone could see us, as his balls continue slapping my cunt as im fucked harshly to another edge. 

Im crying out, the first thrust was excruciating, the following 5 were horrendously painful but now Im feeling pleasure, Im being raped and Im starting to moan as he works me over with his cock, his thrusting speeding up and I know what's coming next, and Who is cumming next since its never been me in my life! Heat bursts into my tight, freshly deflowered ass, feeling hot like lava I cry out as I edge as Im filled, my pussy drooling with need and unfulfilled pleasure as my ass takes his cum all the way inside me, his balls tensing as he pumps more and more cum inside.

Spinning me around and pushing me into the van once again the man rummages around while I lay there, spasming with a full ass and desperate cunt, I feel something press into my ass again and it slides in easily, too easily to be his cock.. Its a plug! my ass has been filled with his cum and is now being plugged to keep me full! why would this man plug me? I turn to get my answer but hes already pushed me into the van and hops in after me, his hard cock swinging between his legs. It felt massive in my ass but its not as big as i thought, definitely larger than average by a full 2 sizes it isnt a monster to break me with, thankfully since if it was any bigger my ass would have torn for sure!

Mouth still open and drool flowing out and stuck to my face and hair he pulls me forward and my mouth lands right where he wants me to land, with my hands cuffed behind my back I cant stop or slow my fall as his entire length, which would go from my elbow to my wrist is now passing the ring and my throat parts as my momentum causes me to deepthroat him right at the start, my tongue thrashing around on the cock in my mouth, his tip in my throat I gag painfully but helplessly. I feel his hand run through my hair as I continue to swallow his cock in a long dive down, he grips my hair at the base and pulls me up and almost entirely off.

Im coughing painfully instantly as he then releases my head and I drop once again to the base of his cock and then once again having my head grabbed by his hand at the base of my hair he then begins to use my head as a fleshlight, a toy I cant avoid being used as at this point, my mouth being full of his cock and before too long Im pushed to the base, his length in my throat as i feel his balls tensing and Im rewarded for my unwilling blowjob with a stomach full of cum being pumped in my throat. Being bulled off his still rigid cock a dildo gag is pushed in my mouth and locked in, Im being forced to deepthroat another cock, at least this 1 cant cum...

Securing me to my seat Im once again sitting with my pussy firmly planted on the vibrating pad, and in seemingly no time at all Im forced to the edge once again, my haze ever present, iv been drowning in pleasure since I woke up, and this mans actions have shaken me, even when used by someone else I really cant cu, I tear up at that realization as we drive off yet again. My view limited again after another 20 or so minute drive with another 30 or so edges Im far beyond any daily edge count iv had before, pulling up to a random alley once again Im untied and the gags are removed from my mouth.

“See you on the train tomorrow.” The man says as Im pushed from the van and he drives away, Spit covered shirt with black bra still visible and my skirt still tucked in exposing pushed aside panties and bald bare pussy and thick plug in my ass I return everything to its usual place then look around to get my bearings. Im a block away from my Uni, a few hours late for sure and no longer caring for the class I clearly missed I might as well just go home, but ill need a new shirt before I go since this shirt is barely a shirt now.

Dashing into a clothes store and a few minutes later leaving in a cheap shirt with my soaked shirt in a bag I leave for the station I intended to reach far earlier today, Hopping on a train and start my hopefully peaceful trip back home I sit in a vacant seat and relax, my ass clenching on the plug he left in me and I know the second I remove it ill be spilling cum everywhere so Ill have to choose a more secluded place, Glancing up my eyes widen and I see him, Sitting on the other end of the carriage, green eyes trained on mine as he sits, and waits unmoving.

5 Stops then its mine and I watch him carefully, Is he planning on assaulting another girl like he did me? Why cant I bring myself to call him out? 4 stops remaining. I should hit him or kick him, he raped me and even plugged my throbbing ass! 3 stops remaining. I should tell someone, there are girls all over this train and they would help me right? 2 stops remaining. Whatever he does ill stop him, I cant let what happened to me happen so someone else.. even though they get his.. cock and get to cum.. why couldn't I cum? why cant I ever cum? 1 stop remaining. Sitting in my seat my hand idly slides under my skirt, my wet shirts bag hiding my action as I begin rubbing my still throbbing clit to another edge, “I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” i think over and over in my head as my finger traces circles around my slick clit and another edge until.

Doors open and I jump up, the man following suit, I step off the train onto my station and the man does the same on the other end of the carriage.. What's his game? I cant go home if hes following me, I don't want this man knowing where I live! But what choice do I have here, If I don't go home and he follows me I could be in real trouble, in my own home town..

I take off running from the man who only walks after me, Its 5 blocks of zig zagging and a lot of looking back but I loose him quickly. “cant keep up if all you do is walk!” I think to myself as I unlock my front door, enter than lock everything I can lock to secure my home and I take a deep breath, Windows and doors all locked I take another breath, my ass throbbing after running while plugged like this I retreat to the shower and work the plug out. The second it comes out the cum follows, “he really filled me” I think as i turn the shower on, taking my clothes off to clean myself up.

Getting changed I don't feel very hungry.. considering the “Meal” I had earlier I just go to bed early, Resting my throbbing ass is all I need to focus on and that needs sleep.

Tossing and turning in a light sleep, the scenes from today keep replaying in my head, the arousal, the amount of edges I was forced to experience, the taste of his cum on my tongue, the pleasure.. it felt good, I cant lie about that much. Feeling the bed shift i simply readjust in my bed when a hand presses on my mouth. My eyes shoot open as Im staring back into those same green eyes..

With his other hand pulling my initially fresh and dry panties off my body, my imagination replaying the events from earlier soaking them thoroughly he grabs my leg and raises it high, his cock once again levelled with me he rubs it over my soaking pussy and thrusts a few times, coating his cock in my shame he aims once again for my tight recently emptied ass and pushes hard.

“Nice home you have here” He says in his deep voice as he pulls my raised leg back and so pulling me further onto his cock. “I think ill stay a while, show you a few fun things, teach you a few other things” He says with a smile as he thrusts hard and I feel his cock drive deep once again. “Tomorrow Im going to feed you a refreshing cum cocktail, you'll learn to love it, or not, its all you'll be drinking from now on anyway!” He laughs! My pleasure at its peak my mind cant believe whats going on, I black out in a mix of fear, pleasure and shock. I think Im going to miss my next few classes too..

[yioh]

2020 follow forever :^)

hello it is, but i, ur local frog, yura, i really realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy wanted to make some kind of post to appreciate everyone on here because , fr, you guys have been such a large part of my life recently and i can not thank you enough... every single person i have interacted with on here has been so wonderful and it’s been such a pleasure to talk with you guys<3

also extremely extremely extremely sorry if i forget anyone, i really really do love every single person i interact with!! this is my first time doing something like this also this is probably filled with typos but im too impatient and lazy to read what i wrote, im so sorry if its weird or something aaaaaaaaaaaa jhdsgjhd

without further ado lets goooooo losers😎

@honeyedmilks sof u are one of the softest people i know, we didn’t get to talk that much this year but i love ur presence in general and it makes me :D when u pop up on my dash/notes hehe, i can’t express just how much i adore ur writing, the vibes and settings and the way u write in general is so my thing and !!!!!!!! <3 

@asianmelodrama faizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa u are mine and a lot of other people’s sunshine on this hellsite !!!! ur blog is so feel good and pretty and relaxing and i love all ur thoughts and ur gifs are soooooooooo pretty and ur so cool !!!!!!!! thank u for being so kind and creative and wonderful and for creating a place so safe and lovely i love u i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

@muscosus robin robin robin robin ILUSM !!!!!!! ur so fun to talk to and i find it so amusing that we met each other via druck but then consequently found all our interests colliding and we were literally *shook pikachu* kdhigjdghkjf also whenever u tag me in whale stuff it warms my heart so much and i treasure our friendship so so much !!!

@lesbiangoths OLIVIA why are u so adorable :( everytime u send me an ask im :) ur so creative and talented and ur crocheting stuff looks so COOL !!!!! also ur vibe is just immaculate in general and talking with u is so easy, never change ilu bro

@illiterateopossum ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur DEFINATELY one of the people on here that are MOST special to me, all our conversations are so freaking fun and man, u just get me .... and watching u get into all the dramas and anime i reccomend ??? it makes my heart doki doki hiagsjhjh thank u for always looking out for me and sending me the most loveliest messages, im really really bad with words and i am SHITE with keeping up with messaging but i seriously treasure our friendship so so much, i only hope for good things to happen to you next year and all the years after that, you’re such a kind wonderful person and !!!!!!!!!!!! i love u sm :(

@beesnutz KJDFKHIJFHKD GUSTE i wanna be emotional this one time and tell u that ur seriously such a fun person and the way my brain goes on overdrive from creativity when i talk to you is . insane. i want to bonk ur head with as much cereal as i can, never forget that you will always be the dumb sidekick to me, the superior villain and i WILL lead the way to world domination one day. sometimes i feel like u aren’t even real, you could be an anime character and i wouldn’t even bat an eyelash . ilu <3

@rosa-leche kana kana KANA :^) how are u so ???? sweet ???? adorable ???? wonderful ????? i already had so much fun interacting with you, all ur thoughts and messages are always so sweet and u make me smile SO much, and after the secret santa i feel like we have so much in common !!!!!!!!! do tell me if u ever watch bloom into you hehe, keep being the angel u are, ilusm !

@petekaos RAHUL !!!!!!!!!!!!! meeting u this summer feels like so long ago somehow, you sir!!! are one TALENTED person . it really really amazes me with how much passion you get into things and how much love and adoration you put into the things you create, its so so special .... anytime i see u vibing on my dash it fills me with so much joy, keep doing u bro !!!!

@toptaps zeeeeeeeeeeey you are so lovely :) you’re so gentle and soft and i adore talking with u about nanamin, also u are so cool and i was rly rly happy when u followed me lol, lowkey i admired u from afar jdhjkhdijd i love uuuuuuu

@fushiguroo MY LIL OREO CUTIE PATOOTIE oFC i still remember the first ask u sent me, i was so taken aback and honoured :( and the more and more i talked with you and saw you on my dash i was so happy, you have such good taste and you’re so so cute, take care of urself and stay the precious bean u are ok? 

@morksuns sumaya sumaya sumayaaaaaaaaaaaa everytime you interact with me im :D i love all our little convos and ur vibe in general is so peaceful and relaxing, im glad i got to meet you:’) here’s to another year and many more after that, that are filled with only good dramas !!!

@gayvlad NICO (nico niiiiiiiiiiiiii ) YOU DESERVE THE W O R L D. i dont know why but as soon as i had like one convo with u that one time i thought u were such a chill cool person :( im so happy that i get to be friends with you, all ur gifs are so pretty !!!!!!!! ur such a kind person and ur blog is such a warm nice place to be. :) 

@cupidhashorns   peach ........... PEACH !!!!!!!!!! you might be one of the nicest people in the WORLD , whenever u like my posts, regardless of whether u know what im on about lmao, i feel so seen... its just so nice to know that Someone i listening to the shit you throw into the void on this site lmao, i adore all ur asks and i truly truly appreicate all your messages so much. thank you for finding my blog interesting at all man, i cant tell you enough how happy you make me :)

@guihan arloooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY CAT FRIEND . THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IS IMMEASURABLE your cats ................... are so cute .............. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad i got into tsomd and got to meet you , whenever u tag me in things im !!!!!!!!! also im defo gonna read  twwtadsl sometime ksdjkdhjksd you make it sound so good aaaaaaaaaaaaa

@otterplush rey many people have probably already told you this but you are someone so ...... so spectacular and special and incredible and amazing ............  so much of your words has given me SO MUCH comfort in the short time i had known you, seriously. i seem to always stumble on your blog whenever im most hurt and your words have really had an impact on me in the best way possible and i love u so so so so much. i only wish for good things to happen for you and i want to be there for you in a way you are for everyone else !!! you are so warm and kind an generous, everything about your vibe feels so soft... also i always wanna rb everything you rb ndjbshs ur blog is so pretty :( 

@aheartandashirt nisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA MY KSH THIRST BUDDY KDHJKHDKJHDF fr ive had some of the BEST convos with you, ur taste in dramas is !!!!!!!!!!immaculate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so so so  fun talking with you and everything you gif looks so nice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for being such a lovely friend to me, you’re so easy to talk with and so friendly and nice and <3 *pat pat pat* 

@tetsuos dawn dawn !!!! you are !!!!!!!!!! such a talented person !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love ur little corner on the web, its so nice to read all ur thoughts about the dramas you’re watching, all your thoughts are so well thought out and interesting to read and, in general, i adore seeing you do ur thing :) *hug hug * 

@heartsofsunlight angel ! your drawings are so beautiful !! you are such a beautiful person in general ! whenever u drop by it makes me so happy, its been so lovely getting to know you, thank you so much for talking to me :) i love uuuuuuu

@metawin jay jay jay !!!!!!!!!!!! for some reason whenever i see u im overcome with so much love !!! everything you make is so beautiful and u are defo one of the most elite people here hehe, also ur cats are ........ so adorable ............ 

@metawwin aliiiiiiiiiiiii, its been such a pleasure seeing you on here !! ur so soooooo kind and whenever u sent me those adorable asks it made me so happy, you’re like a little happiness fairy, you eminate so much joy and positivity !! also ur singing ... immaculate 

@87s min min !!!! u are soooooooooooo adorable, i think ive said this before but u seriously give me little sibling vibes lol, its so fun talking to you, and im so happy that you first popped up to me !!!!!!!!!!! iluuuuuuuu

@joblessquinoa JQ :^)    i always associate you with my engineer haha, and that was so long ago !!!!! ur so fun to talk to, and i adore seeing u rb and leave ur thoughts on all the manga and webtoons im reading !!!! in fact whenever u like my posts i aways feel so happy hehe, also . i literally wouldve failed my coding course without u thank u SO much for helping me out * cries* 

@gigiesarocha cata CATA CATA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  when you first popped up i was so elated to talk to you, u seemed so nice:( and later when u told me u watched joan’s galaxy because of me i was sdhfsgijdfhjkdhjkfh all ur gifs are so unbelieveably gorgeous, i literally go back to the set u made of yioh staring at joan skipping all the time, its so ........ beautiful.......... hopefully we get more wlw content next year and hopefully theyre all as good as joan’s galaxy hehe, iluuuuuuuuuu

@yibobibo aamna my love !!!!!!! how are you so precious ? everytime u reblog any of my posts its an instant serotonin boost, the experience of getting back into mdzs along with u was seriously incomparable, it was so FUN and i wanna go back :( ur such a friendly wonderful and talented person and i adore seeing all ur creativity blossom on this website, ilu aamna !

@brightwin JELLY jelly u are literally the human embodiment of the softest teddy bear in the WORLD . i wanna give u all the hugs and pats i can because u make me so !!!!!!!!! happy and u fill me with so much soft warmth ........... thank u for being u, all ur gifs are so pretty and its been so nice to be able to bask in the light that comes off of u, never change i love u so sooooooooooo much <3

and lastly, some blogs that i really really adore !

@kurusutakatsu @chanagun @yuhaosturtle @jiangyanlisgf @duoerla @yinyu @tichawongtipkanon @jbums @wenqing @lemongrasslesbian @weiixian @schech @kikuism @earthfluuke @0ffgun @yamaguccchi @wullu @seniorwitch @leoyunxi @floraflorenzi @dreamterlude @florbexter @doctorbahnjit

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

just saw your pinned post and aaa!!! please could we have #49?? mclennon ofc ;)

thank you love 💗

49. “I cant stop thinking about you”

“Id give you everything I got for a little piece a mind!” And with that, he finalised the song.

“Its...its good.” Paul said awkwardly - he’d been put into an uncomfortable position by John, hearing him sing a song that was so clearly about him. A song so distraught, a clear cry for help - and it was Paul evoking these cries as well.

“Yeah, well...” he grumbled, “its one I came up with in India, y’know.” Of course he knew, he’d known within seconds of hearing it - this was a song about their argument. The one that had taken place in India, and the one that has acted as a clear indicator that their relationship has changed; there is no longer an innocence to it, nor is there a nonchalance and ease to it either.

“Um, is it...” Paul wanted to ask if it was about him, though of course he knew it was, still it would be nice to have a little less ambiguity. Instead he opted for asking, “Are you- are you okay?”

With some sterility and a cutting edge coldness to his voice, John responded “Yeah. Never been better.”

Paul nodded at this, not reassured. After something of an awkward silence, John stated, “Ive gotta be goin’ actually - ‘m seeing someone.”

“Alright then, have a good one-like.” Paul said trying to at least finalise their conversation with some normalcy - but watching John just about to leave the room, he felt this ending just didn’t sit right - he had to enquire further, and so in a small voice he called out, “...John?”

“Yeah?”

To his own surprise, he found himself bluntly stating, “Yer not alright; can ye please talk to me?”

“I am talkin’ to ye.” He began to make his way back over to Paul, taking a seat beside him. “Ive been talking to you fer 11 bloody years now - and im still not gettin’ through to you.”

“What’ve you been tryin’ to get through to me?”

John looked away from him, he indicated the answer, but he couldn’t bear to speak the words ‘I love you’ out loud; at least not with such sincerity. He changed the subject, adding, “I cant stop thinking about you. Yer askin’ me if im alright - course im not, ive got you on me fuckin’ mind all the time.”

“I...I didnt know...” Paul trailed off here, he never was good at expressing himself so openly. “I, um, I cant stop thinking about you either.”

Spitefully, he retorted, “Yer full of shit Macca.”

“‘M bein’ honest here John - I cant stop thinking about you, cause im worried about you. Yer drinking a lot, tripping a lot - you show up at the studio and you’re angry or depressed or something or other. Im worried. I want you to be happy.”

He was met with bitter, even resentful response, “Yer not worried about me, you just dont like me bein’ an inconvenience. What if something were to come out, all over the news ‘The Beatles are all really just bastards, like every other fuckin’ human being on the planet’.”

“I dont give a shit about that-“

“Just admit it Paul, you care more about yer reputation then you do about me.”

“Thats not true! And you’re not being fair here either. Im sorry about what happened in India, but-“

“For fucks sake, will ye fuck off with India!” John was always somebody so quick to anger, most people found him impossible to get too close to on the basis that his moods were simply so inconsistent; but Paul had always been able to keep up with him. “Its fuckin’ over now, alright. I gave you a proposition, and you said you you don’t want me-“

“I do want you - I want you so bad, alright? And I dont want to let you go completely, but why cant we keep this casual y’know. If we took it to the level you’re suggesting, we’d both be ruined.” He paused, taking a small breath, and continued, “Im sorry that I cant love you like you want me too, but I want kids someday, and you know, yer right - I don’t want the whole world to hate me, im a coward and you know that. Im sorry, John - but could we not just keep ‘us’ casual?”

John couldn’t bare to shout at him again, because he didn’t want to shout anymore. He been screaming at the world his whole life, and it had never made a difference; no one had ever listened to him. He might as well have just been screaming at brick walls. And so in an agonised voice, he echoed with complete honesty, “If we keep this casual, if I cant have you all the time y’know, if I have to share you with a thousand other birds-like - im gonna lose me fucking mind, Paul. Im going mad already. And I cant stand it any longer; I want you, and only you.”

Paul sighed in response - neither party could give the other exactly what they wanted, and yet they wanted just the same thing.

***

Sorry im taking so long with posting these requests!! I have an essay to write for school today, but after that ive literally got NO homework (whoooooo) so ill be writing up the other fic requests I have in my inbox this week (and maybe uploading another chapter to my longer fic on AO3 called ‘Some People Never Know’)

Keep sending requests in if you want <3

[scarletwidowaf]

Ghost Of You - Chapter 4

AN: this is my favorite chapter so far! Its Mostly fluff and wholesome. Again, didn't checked mistakes so I'm sorry in advance .

words count: 1880

masterlist | story index | AO3 | wattpad 

The two ex-avengers were lying on their motel shared bed.

The place was in a pretty good condition which was a nice change after the last 4 motels the group found themselves at.

Natasha was lying under the covers, her red long hair in a messy bun and a book in hand.

Next to her, Wanda was sleeping peacefully.

The younger woman was finally getting better after the brutal cold she suffered from in the last few days.

Natasha couldn't help but appreciating how cute and peaceful she was.

Her hair messy, nose red and cheeks flushed.

Thats how their evening went.

Wanda peacefully sleeping while Natasha reading a book and glancing at the younger woman every now and then.

At some point, when Natasha glanced at the brunette next to her she met with green eyes, who were watching her curiously

Natasha couldn't help but smiling at the sight in-front of her.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

Wanda nodded weakly.

"You love reading, dont you" wanda asked.

"I do. It was something i loved doing ever since i was a kid."

"Why?"

"Many reasons, its comforting and enjoyable and in a way, its an escape, even if its just momentarily"

"Do you feel the need to escape?"

"Like right now? From this bed?" Natasha asked confused, a small smile on her lips.

Wanda smiled but didn't answer.

"So, What are you reading this time?"

"The Catcher in the rye. Its a classic"

"Is that so? Will you read to me?" Wanda asked, her cheeks getting flustered (even more than it already was).

"You dont have to of course, i didn't really thought how weird it might seem-" wanda ramble and Natasha smiled before moving her attention back to the book.

"That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

She read out loud, cutting the girl mumbling.

Natasha looked at wanda again.

The younger girl's body was pressed to her side, as she was clinging to her for warmth. Wanda looked at Natasha with a smile.

"Making sure I'm listening?"

"Something like that" she responded.

Wanda smiled at her. Her eyes sparkle.

That moment Natasha couldn't help but smile.

'Jesus christ', she thought, 'they really can'

____

"Natasha?"

Wanda felt stupid as she called Natasha's name into air.

How do you even call a dead person? She thought.

The young woman stood in the middle of the no where in particular, not far from her cabin.

A red pickup truck parks not far and its headlights illuminate the woods, where it begin to darkened.

The sun was half way down and the sky was painted in beautiful shades of orange, red and purple.

Wanda chose this spot because of the beautiful view it revealed, a small waterfall was pouring from a spot not far from her and into a lake. It was truly a sight.

Wanda really thought things trough this time.

she wasn't sure what the future holds for the two women but she was tired of wasting their precious time with fighting and crying over their bad luck. So she organized a date for them.

She spread a big mat on the floor and layered it with many blankets and pillows and even lit some candles around them, far from something that could catch fire yet close enough to light the space.

She even organized a picnic basket full of food and snacks natasha loved and some surprises for the date.

And most importantly she was definitely dressed to impress.

A high waisted skinny jeans, the ones who made her ass look extra good and she knew Natasha liked (she knew that since she wore it a few days before the snap when the two women traveled in the streets of Paris and natasha's thoughts were very loud while she walked behind her)

With a white top who didn't leave much space for imagination, cleavage and toned stomach were visible and wanda just hoped the weather will stay as warm as it was.

After shouting natasha's name over 10 times the younger woman got frustrated.

Wanda was about to give it up, sit and cry while eating cake but when she was about to turn around she met with Natasha smiling at her.

The older woman was dressed differently, which was odd, it seems like although she was dead she could do almost everything (except touching wanda which was frustrating enough), she could hold a book and read, she could eat food (although hunger was never an issue for her) and she could change clothes.

When they found out the older girl could do that natasha was pleased, relieved to change into something that wasn't the clothes she died with.

Natasha was leaning against wanda's truck, an amused smile painted on her red lips.

"You called?" She said with a lighter tone and wanda sigh in frustration.

"How long where you watching me like a creep, romanoff?"

"Long enough" natasha moved from tree to wanda's side. Her eyes scanning Wanda.

"I was just enjoying the view" she said. Her tone flirty.

To make things worse she even bit her lip, making wanda's cheeks grow red.

Wanda smiled before she sat on the pile of blankets and waited for natasha to occupy the spot next to her.

"Do I'm making you feel uncomfortable?" Natasha asked when she sat.

"Not at all nat. Im just not used to get this kind of attention. You were always holding yourself back and vision was.. you know.. vision" wanda confessed.

Natasha smiled softly.

"Well, i was a coward and vision was vision so.."

Both women smiled at each other. Their eyes sparkle with joy.

"So, what's up with the setting, not that I complain" the older women said as her eyes traveled to wanda's outfit.

"I wanted to arrange something for you. As a apology for bringing you back purely"

"You always arrange a super romantic date in the middle of the woods as an apology? Because if this is the case i think i deserve many of those after all this time"

Natasha joked and wanda rolled her eyes.

"You're an ass you know that?"

"Ive been told"

"So, what's in the basket?" Natasha asked.

Instead of answering Wanda opened it lid and pulled out the first item. A headpiece she made herself.

Natasha stared at the white flower crown with confusion.

"Why-" she started asking and wanda cut her off.

"I made this for you. For your birthday"

"Okay first of all: This is not my birthday and you know it, and two: you remember I'm dead, right?" Natasha said with a raised eyebrow, yet didn't show any sign of resistance when wanda put it on her head.

"I know its not your birthday, but I missed 5 years of life, so i think i deserve an extension"

Wanda couldn't help her smile when she saw Natasha with the crown. The older girl's cheeks were a bit flushed and she bit her bottom lip to hold her smile. Her green eyes sparkle with joy and warmth.

"I love it" natasha admitted

"Good, because there's a cake too"

"Of course there's a cake" natasha said in amusement.

Wanda smiled brightly before she turned back to the basket and started to take out the edible items in it.

Natasha couldn't help her staring, the younger woman was beautiful, just as she remembered and even more. The Wanda Natasha was looking at at this moment was not the same Wanda she remembered.

It was like wanda somehow managed to grow up at her absence and natasha couldn't help but appreciate the women she became.

"Are those burgers from bob and Amy's?" Natasha smiled and wanda nodded

"I know that they're your favorite" wanda said as she pass Natasha her burger.

"You're kinda perfect you know that?"

"Ive been told"

By the time they finished their burgers while holding a general conversation the sun was already gone and the only light that's been left was the from the candles and wanda's truck headlights.

"You should turn off your lights" natasha said with a smile and wanda did as she was told.

It was dark except for the soft candle light.

"Now i can barely see you" wanda pouted.

Natasha smiled.

"Dont pout. It makes me sad because i cant kiss it away"

Wanda stopped pouting.

"I think I found a solution for that" wanda said and natasha raised her eyebrow.

"I found out what went wrong in the first place and i think i can fix it."

"why me wanda? Why not your brother? Your parents? Vision?"

Wanda looked down at her lap, her eyes glitter with tears.

"Its been too long for them, there's only a short window of time where it can be preformed."

Natasha smiled sadly.

"I know there's a catch wanda. What will it cost?"

"Its nothing i cant handle"

Wanda whispered.

Natasha bit her lip.

"No"

Wanda's eyes widened.

"Nat-"

"No." The older woman repeated.

"So what? Do you want to stay like these forever and hurt the both of us in the process?" The pain was visible in wanda's eyes.

"Of course not wanda" natasha whispered while her eyes traveled wanda's face. Aching to touch it.

"Then what?" Wanda asked.

"I think you need to let me go."

"No."

"Wanda-" natasha tried her again but got cut off.

"I refuse to let you die" wanda said with anger.

"Im already dead wanda"

"You dont get it, do you? I love you! Let me save you. You said you're a selfish person natasha, than prove it and choose to stay"

Wanda's tears were smudging her makeup and natasha sigh in defense.

"I love you too"

"So stay" wanda begged.

Natasha smiled sadly at wanda before she pulled the basket to her lap and pulled out a small vanilla flavored cupcake wanda brought and took a bite of it.

"Theres something i wanna try. Close your eyes" she said and wanda looked at her confused.

"Just do it, ill be here when you'll open them again" natasha said before she took another bite.

Wanda did as she been told.

Before she could open her mouth to say anything she felt soft lips ghosting over hers and a hint of vanilla flavored cake.

The younger girl was taken back.

She could almost feel natasha's lips and if she tried hard enough she could almost feel her breath.

Almost.

When she opened her eyes she found Natasha taking another bite from the cake with a small sad smile tugged on her lips.

"That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty.. ..you fall in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are." (-the catcher in the rye)