#i cannot wait to see him realize just how HARD he has fallen for her

[whorediaries-09]

down bad;

pairing- james potter x reader warning(s)- death, angst. a/n- i'm in my moods lately. a bit of angst to calm my soul and to feed my babies. short and sour :)

little train.

death was easy. unlike the concept of pain that came along with death, which had been ingrained into your mind as you grew, it was easy. even if you lay on the cold hard ground, slowly losing your senses as the acid from your stomach burned your organs, destroying them. your eyes ran dry, hands slowly losing strength and senses to hold back the blood flowing from your stomach.

or perhaps it was interest you lost. in saving yourself. the bloodcurdling screams had stopped, your ears were cold, devoid of hearing anything.

bellatrix knew how to kill. she didn't kill for vengeance. she killed because it was her passion. to kill and hurt people. to destroy them and their loved ones. her words were colder than any sword that could kill one. one could see the mad love behind her eyes as she killed.

you knew that. nobody could've known it better than you. but yet when it was time to choose between your life and your friends, you'd chosen your friends. your friends had families to build. your friends had someone waiting for them. but you had no one.

so, you decided to confront her, despite the protests of your friends.

the duel had been going pretty well, before she decided to puncture your emotions. it began with calling you a nobody in the wizarding world. it ended with you on your knees, as she taunted you for falling in love with a married man.

'what would you know about love, bellatrix? you belong to generations of inbreeding,' you spat. you saw the color leave her eyes. you saw yourself touching a nerve. and before you could do anything, you found yourself lying on the cold hard ground, blood oozing out of your stomach like a fountain.

she screamed, hysterically, maniacally, joyfully.

'oh i know about love! look what it's done to you now,'

*-

with shaking hands, james put the tape in the tape player. it was an anonymous mail. he knew better than accepting anonymous mails, given the high risk due to the circumstances. he'd just lost a friend. the grief and guilt still weighed down upon him.

he consoled himself by thinking that the death eaters wouldn't know the muggle ways of tapes or mails. they were petrified of the idea of death.

there was a static noise, before a cough. a cough he knew a bit too well. it hit him like a jab in the stomach.

'hi. if you're hearing this, then i'm dead. but i cannot simply die without confessing a few secrets you should know. so, this is my confession.'

james knew this voice a little too well. the girl he'd first fallen in love with. the woman who was dead, and would never return.

'i've never actually loved someone. it had just been you i'd decided to fall in love with. but of course. fate has always been cruel with me.'

james felt a growing lump in his throat. his eyes burned.

'before i could ever confess to you, i found out lily had finally said yes to your date after the years you'd spent pestering her. i don't remember feeling anything particularly. i remember it hurt me. it wounded me, it made me numb.'

the tears that flowed down his cheeks were warm and salty. the day was crystal clear in his memories. how you'd stopped talking to him, and started avoiding him and his constant confrontations asking you about your absence.

'but then it started to hurt. so much. it began with you changing places with peter to sit beside lily. then began her melodious laughter ringing into my dumb eardrums. then began the start of your beautiful relationship. which was nothing but an eyesore. i knew i had to get myself out from your friendship to end what i'd been feeling.'

he swallowed thickly, tears uncontrollable. he remembered how he'd had a crush on you as a fourteen year old, but you weren't quite close to him or his friend group back then. as he got to know you slowly, he realized that he'd never liked you. he liked the idea of you. he had always loved lily.

'then started your confrontations. i tried to ignore you, and i thought it wouldn't be too hard, given there was not much time left for school to finish anyways. turns out i was wrong. we had to join the order, since voldemort is at large. and we had to spend more time together. at meetings. at missions.'

james could remember the first time he'd seen you after hogwarts. you had changed a lot. it seemed as if you'd lost your charm. your shine.

'then you took me to choose the ring with which you proposed lily. and i think, that was my last straw before i let loose of any hope. and i knew it is wrong. but i'm doomed aren't i? always have been.'

james hated the fact that he hadn't done anything. even if he'd never liked you romantically, he'd loved you. you'd left the world without any closure. the closure you thought you didn't need. the closure he thought you deserved.

'you thought that it would be a nice way to catch up. but you only lost me. but trust me i was happy for you. i was happy that you got to marry the woman you'd always wanted to marry. i am happy that you got to marry the woman you'd loved. but sometimes i turn sour, thinking why couldn't it be me? and i really hate myself for it.'

your voice paused, and you took a deep breathe. cold air chilled down his spine.

'i didn't opt to be your odd man out. but i guess, that's what i was. but now that i'm no more, and you can't confront me anymore, i just need to say this, no matter how morally wrong it might be.'

james felt his heart pause. it was like a rare breathe.

'i love you.'

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[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Calming Waves

Hunter x Reader

Summary- After finding out Omega has been taken for the third time, you and Hunter must comfort each other. Set at the end of s.3 ep.11

A/N- I AM FERAL FOR THIS MAN!!!!! It didn't turn out exactly how I wanted. The idea wasn't as fresh in my head as I would have liked. Nevertheless, enjoy!

Word Count- 1,439

Your chest heaved, desperate for air as you ran. Your feet hurt from how hard they were hitting the pavement. The Empire ships were leaving, that meant either two things.

Omega was dead, or Omega was taken.

Tears burned your eyes as you still raced for the top of Pabu where Shep's home was. That was the designated hideout.

You were close to hyperventilating, but seeing the humble cottage in the distance gave you the last boost you needed. You had to know what happened.

With a fury you didn't know you had, you slammed the door open.

"Where is she!" You yelled out when you saw only Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair.

Hunter was the first to face you, his own eyes glossy. He said nothing, just pulled you into a tight hug.

With realization you sobbed. If it wasn't for Hunter holding you up, you would have fallen.

You cried and cried, Crosshair could only look down in shame.

"Shhh, Shhh, we will find her..." You managed to catch your breath at his reassuring words. Hunter rubbed your back soothingly, even though he was barely hanging on himself.

"What... What happened?" You stood by yourself again, tears still silently falling. You wiped them away violently.

All eyes turned to Crosshair at your question. You noticed and followed their gazes. "What did you do?" You asked, words laced with poison.

"She, Omega, she gave herself up." He revealed, your heart sank again. She was so brave...

With a single stride forward- SLAP!

Your hand stung, bad. You just hoped Crosshairs cheek hurt worse. Your stare sent daggers to him.

He saw the hit coming, he really did. He just agreed that he deserved it, letting you deliver the blow.

"And you let her? You were supposed to protect her!" You pressed, unable to grasp how he could do such a thing.

"She.... She felt guilty, all of the lives that were going to be lost-"

"Do you think I give hell about anyone else?" You argued. "If we start to think about strangers, then we'd all be dead."

He looked remorseful, but not apologetic. "Omega saw the bigger picture."

This set you off, grabbing your blaster from its holster. "She is a child," a sob threatened, "She is too busy seeing the good in people to know how much bad there truly is."

Wrecker sat silent, watching. He was still injured from the bomb.

You weren't actually going to shoot him, in your fury you just acted irrationally. Hunter knew this as well, but still came to your side.

His hand wrapped around yours, gently lowering your weapon and hand.

"I can't even look at you right now..." At that, you turned on your heel. You didn't exactly know where you were going, just that you needed some air.

Hunter was at your side, a hand trying to wrap around your hip. "No, just leave me alone. I cannot believe this!" You pushed his hand away, admittedly harsh.

"I won't let you run off. We need to stick together right now." He managed to grip your wrist, you let him.

You sighed deeply, "Then come with me."

"Always..." He moved his hand down to grasp yours lovingly.

While the thought of marching back in and demanding a plan crossed your mind- Wrecker was hurt and you had no ship. The best you could do was wait for Echo or Phee to return your messages. Your mind still wandered at ways to find her.

You found yourself at the shoreline, right by Omegas hideaway cave. You didn't mean to stop there, but you guessed your subconscious wanted to be closer to her.

With a puff you sat down in the sand, hands mindlessly feeling the grain beneath you.

Hunter stood by your side, still on guard. You, however, were too worn out to care anymore.

"Three times..." You stated, not looking up. The wind blew your hair back. It could have been a scene from a holo-movie. The light breeze only made your heart ache more. The countless times you'd spent in this every spot with Omega grieved you.

"I know." You could hear him shuffle. You only responded by bringing your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them.

With a sniffle, you'd decided to speak again. "I hope she's not too scared. Even if it was her choice to hand herself over, she must still be scared." Tears welled at the thought of her.

Hunter moved forward, squatting down to rest a hand on your shoulder. "She's a tough girl." Silence again.

You knew she was tough, but the 'biggest' and 'strongest' of men wavered at The Empire. What could a single girl do against a whole Imperial army?

Hunter tried to ease your nerves, "We've done it twice before, we will save her again. Her and the other captured clones." This only fueled your anger.

"And then what?" You snapped, jerking your head up at him. "The Empire will never stop looking for her! They will just come again and again."

He looked down, avoiding your gaze.

"Hunter, I just want to be normal." You rested your face in your hands, still leaning on your knees. "Is that bad? To not have anyone after us. Just you, me, Omega...I mean, of course the guys too..."

"No. No, not at all." He said.

Your shoulders shook with your crying. "I'm sorry, i'm trying to keep it all together." You said messily, wiping your eyes.

At this, he finally embraced you. Pulling you completely into his arms. You were practically in his lap. He tucked your head into his shoulder.

"I just want our daughter back." You sobbed out, holding onto Hunter hopelessly.

"Even if it is the last thing I do, I will bring Omega home. We will bring her home." He pet your head gently, his calm and serious voice started to soothe you.

Your voice was muffled by his skin, but you spoke on. "I am so tired of running."

"I know, me too."

You both just held each other for awhile, the sound of the waves helped you steady your breathing.

Hunter broke the silence. "After this, after we save her... I think we should all disappear."

"Disappear?" You questioned, even though you were sure what he meant.

"Wouldn't be too hard to fake our deaths." He said stoically, staring across the water.

You leaned up at this, shuffling so you could look at him. "What about all of your connections? Phee, Shep, I mean-" You sighed, "...We can't tell them can we?"

"It's like you said, when we start to think about strangers we risk ourselves." He was turning cold.

You eventually agreed, resting your head back on his collarbone.

"We've got an incoming message from Phee." You both heard over Hunter's comms.

"Headed your way." Hunter replied.

He squeezed you a last time, hands still on you gently. "Let's go, talking to Phee will bring us a step closer to Omega."

You nodded, heart swelling when Hunter reached down to swipe the last of your tears away.

You pulled back, touching the sand with your hand a last time. Your tears were dried, all that was left was fury. A fury that could rival The Empire.

After talking with Phee, she agreed that she would head your way. You hoped she wouldn't mind helping you four, just until Echo could fetch a ship.

Tension was high, you all waited for her to arrive. Crosshair kept looking your way, but you didn't return it.

You had thought about your exchange, and was feeling pretty guilty. You knew Crosshair wanted Omega safe, that he was only doing what he thought was right.

"Crosshair?" You called out to him, he stood at his name.

"Can we talk outside?" He nodded and followed you.

The two of you leaned over the railing outside of Shep's house. Both looking over to the water. "I'm sorry-" He started, but you interrupted.

"No, I'm sorry. I know it was Omegas idea. Her heart is too big to watch the people of Pabu get taken. I.. I wasn't actually going to shoot you.." You fiddled with your fingers, ashamed.

"I know. I'd have done the same. She, she just wants to make everyone happy." You smiled at his words, the description of her bringing you comfort.

You leaned closer to him, nudging his shoulder. "I might have a way to find the Tantiss coordinates."

You ushered him back inside, perfect timing to see Phee approaching. A plan was soon demised. You'd find a way back to Omega, no matter what.

A/N- Okay, let's be real. Hunter was not as mad as he should have been about losing Omega FOR THE THIRD TIME! That is my excuse for writing this! Thank you so much for reading!

Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @dangraccoon @knight-of-flowerss

[adoracora-elizabeth]

But Papa! Why? Chapter 31

Cora touched Robert’s knee. He had fallen asleep soon after they left. Cora had felt nervous when she realised she would have to drive. It would be her first time driving a stickshift car, but Robert was a wonderful teacher, she had discovered. And he had so much confidence in her driving skills that within minutes he doozed off.

“Darling, wake up. Your navigation says we are here.” Cora had parked the car alongside the road. She had expected to drive up to a hotel or at least a place where they could stay. But it felt that they were in the middle of nowhere. She nudged Robert again, who did not seem to want to wake up.

“Hmmmm” Robert moaned and slowly opened his eyes. “Are we there already?”

“I am not sure where we should be, but the navigation said: ‘You arrived at your destination’

Robert had a foolish smile on his face.

“Did you put in the wrong address? Did we drive two hours in the wrong direction?” Cora asked.

“No, no.” Robert was still smiling. “I did put in the correct address, where I wanted you to drive. I tried to keep our destination a secret.” He leaned forward and started to type in a new address. “Fifteen more minutes and we will be at our destination.” He put his hand on Cora’s knee. “You still do not want to know where we are going?”

“As I said, I like surprises. And from what I can see, you brought us to a beautiful area. I did not know your country had such beautiful nature.”

“I will show you every part of this country if you let me.”

Cora laughed. “I hope in a decent way.”

Now Robert’s cheeks coloured, he did not realize what he had said exactly.

On Cora’s face was now a cheeky smile. “I cannot wait for you to be fully recovered.”

Robert looked out of the window, trying to keep his feelings contained. Her words made heat come up in his groin.

+++

“Are we dining here?” Cora exclaimed enthusiastically. She had driven up the driveway of a castle and now parked the car.

Robert gave her one of his foolish smiles. “I booked a suite. We will have a room with a window seat inside the wall, a luxurious bathroom and a four-posted bed.”

“Oh Robert, that is so romantic.” She leaned towards him and kissed his lips softly. “Let’s go inside, I want to see the room.

Robert took Cora’s arm and together they walked into the lobby of Langley Castle Hotel. Cora was a bit overwhelmed with the luxury inside. They stepped back in time but with today’s luxury. “This is beautiful,” Cora said under her breath.

She waited for Robert to check-in. There was a sign with the history of the castle. ‘It was built in 1350, during the reign of Edward III, the castle has retained its architectural integrity and is regarded as one of the few medieval fortified Castle Hotels in England’

Cora knew England was an old country, but it was hard to grasp how old this building, actually was, over 600 years.

“Shall we go to our room? You can rest a bit before we have our dinner reservation.” Robert rested his hand on the small of Cora’s back.

This was a very calming gesture she noticed. Every time Robert touched her, her heartbeat slowed down, except when he put it lower on her bum. She looked at his face, would he have enough energy to explore each other? She was ready to get closer to him. She had always thought she would wait after marriage, but she knew she would not be able to withhold Robert for much longer.

+++

“I do not think I ever had a better meal than what we got just now.” Cora leaned back in her chair. Robert reserved a table for the relaxed dining experiment. This castle also offered a fine dining experiment, but Robert said they would eat there tomorrow evening. For tonight, he did not want to be dressed up in his tailcoat or tuxedo.

Cora was glad he had told her to put some nice dresses in her suitcase at the last minute. He said she would have to dress for a white tie evening, so she packed a long-sleeved, lace dark blue, gown. Tonight she was wearing an emerald green jumpsuit with high heels. She loved dressing up for Robert. Back home she would easily go outside in sportswear, but since she lived in England her wardrobe changed into a more stylish and formal style. She had only seen women in sportswear who were actual being active.

“We could order another glass of wine, but we could also let that be a room service.” Robert looked at her with smouldering eyes. Cora’s hand was resting on the table, Robert put his on top and brushed with his fingertips over the back of her hand.

Cora had kicked off her heels when they were seated. She stretched her leg and found his calve. Slowly she moved her feet over his leg and stared back at him. “I am fine with one of those two options.” She kept her voice low.

“Wine in the restaurant it is then,” Robert said and tried to get the waiter’s attention. “Can you bring a bottle of Riesling to our suite?” Robert asked, winking at her and Cora was relieved he chose that option. She wanted to be close to him. There was only a table in between them at the moment but it felt unbearable not touching him.

Cora’s chair was pulled back, quickly she got back in her heels and waited for Robert to offer her, his arm. As close as she could, she walked next to him. Once the door to their suite closed, she turned towards him and pressed her lips on his. She tasted the wine on his tongue, it was a slow but firm kiss. She was trying to get his dress shirt out of his trousers, when there was a knock on the door.

“Room service.”

“Ugh” Cora moaned and reluctantly stepped back, so Robert could open the door.

[charlenasaxen]

Favorite Quotes - Draco Veritas pt. 3

Draco pitched forward into it, vanishing without a sound.

the trousers, which laced up in front, did not provide all the coverage one might ideally have wished

he knew Hermione to be dead. The Charm could only be taken from the wearer by force. And she would never have given it up willingly. Never.

how the poison had eaten away at Draco's beauty, leaving only bone and shadows

"I was apologizing for not coming with you."

"But you have come with me,"

Draco only smiled a little - less a smile than a twitch of the mouth

"But I can barely stand up, Harry. I don't know how far I can walk and soon I'll be blind, too.

And if you go blind, I'll guide you.

Take some of my strength - I have more than enough. Take it. Take it, Draco," Harry said. "Because I won't leave you here."

kissed Harry on the cheek; a quick kiss from lips dry with exhaustion and dirt.

"Ave, Caesar,"

like an enchanted sleeping prince whose glass coffin has just been smashed to bits

"Well, brace yourself," he said. "You're going to want to sleep with me even more after this."

"Isn't that your son? And isn't he supposed to be dead?"

"Draco never does do anything on time,"

"I thought they broke up," muttered Wormtail.

"Isn't she supposed to be dead as well?"

Draco leaning up against them, waving insolently

realized, belatedly, that the sword was trembling in Draco's hand not because he was angry, but because he was laughing.

And Lucius always said his son was weak...

Draco raised the dagger. "Good night, sweet prince,

spangled with the brilliant stars that Draco could no longer see. They glittered in their beauty

"My boy," Lucius said, and staggered to his feet. "Please -"

only stood staring at Draco with the eyes of a starving man gazing at a banquet

laid it over Harry's on his shoulder. "You are my blood," he said. "My family."

"I would rather that my father did not die on a Gryffindor blade,"

"and will die, loving me, with my blade"

"Ah." He sounded relieved. Her heart felt like it might crack

she held Draco in the circle of her arms as if doing so could keep him tethered

"If I do, I won't open them again," he said, "and I would like to wait for Harry, if I can."

"I wonder if there are such beautiful things where I am going?"

Hermione realized distantly that she was crying. "There should be only beautiful things,"

it hasn't been a wasted life, this life of mine, has it, Hermione? I've been found and lost, and saved the world - that's not nothing, is it?"

What if there are no shores to stand on, where I am going now? I would wait for a hundred years, if that were what was required, but what if he cannot find me?"

that laugh just under his voice. I must remember these things that I can tell them to Harry, if he does not come in time

His fingers did not return the pressure. She looked down at him. His eyes were closed, the lashes lying still

it slid silently out of her grip, falling to rest against his chest, fingertips to collarbone, as if he were asleep.

Draco's head in Hermione's lap, the bright fringe of his lashes where his eyes had fallen shut

she slowly shook her head, answering the question he had not, yet, asked aloud.

The sword slipped from Harry's hand with a harsh clang that resounded down the corridor like the sound of a tolling bell.

made it hard to look at him-- a grown-up Draco, which her Draco, now, would never be

stopped bubbling, and turned a singing gold color.

Blaise gave a little gasp. "The antidote!"

"Thank you," said Draco, modestly

bent over her son. Draco, white and waxen, did not move. "Poppy! Poppy! Come quickly! Draco isn't breathing!"

took his hand, and held it tightly. "Go, if you must. Go, with ease and grace and dignity, where your ancestors have gone before you."

"I know you will wait for me there."

Hermione, on her knees on the floor, felt the tears like a flood behind her eyes.

and then his eyes opened, bright and luminously silver.

Narcissa made a little sound in her throat and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

Draco looked appalled. "MOTHER," he said. "STOP THAT AT ONCE."

Draco sat up; he was pale, but moved with his old grace, and clearly without pain.

Blaise burst into tears. This was so unexpected that everyone stared at her

"We don't need it anymore, Hermione. We'll never need it again," he said, and she laid her head down on his shoulder and let the tears come.

breezy May air spilled in, carrying with it the smells of new grass

"not everyone, everywhere, is always talking about you."

***

"This is about Draco, isn't it?"

the Slytherins were sucking up to Draco like they'd just invented the fine art of sycophancy

the castle corridors lit up like high noon, and Draco lying in Hermione's arms, silver blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.

Draco already looked like a completely different person. Draco had looked up at him, tousle-haired

I was asking for Draco's. Forever is a long time, even for a Malfoy.

"except for that brief bit where he tried to kill everyone in England."

"That's hardly fair, Draco."

"Oh, I don't blame him for his looks. I blame his mother, the troll, and the bartender."

or in some cases, such as the Potions dungeon, known and hated

“Three. Harry to do it, and Hermione and Ron to stand around telling him to be careful.

“None,” he said, reaching past her and yanking the curtains closed. his fingers tracing the curve of her wrist. She could smell the spicy scent of his cologne. “We like it in the dark.”

“A good ninety percent of us show it by cracking a smile, at least,” said Sirius. “It’s not like I asked him to burst into song.”

“I could sing, if you like,” said Snape.

“Are you implying that I can’t sing?” Snape asked.

“I’m not sure he’s implying it,” said Harry. “I think he’s just saying it.”

“I have a hatter in London. I quite like him. He’s never seemed particularly mad to me."

"in honor of a friend of mine, who is getting married tomorrow. That man, right there—“ and he pointed at Sirius—“is not my friend. In fact, he is something of a tosser."

(Harry supposed that in the end, he just wasn't a snaky kind of bloke)

Draco loved to fly, he always had. He spun upside-down several times

Harry said. “Now some part of you will always be flying.”

“Ah,” he said, “drawing pornographic sketches of me, then, are you? Well, you can’t really be blamed for that.”

he was beautiful. She wanted to tell him so

In fact, it wasn’t like dating Malfoy at all. He wished that thought had never occurred to him.

a word she had almost forgotten how to apply to her own life.

Hope.

I love and I hope.

“Happy?” she said. “I’ve never been that.”

“No,” he said. “But you will be.”

At that she did smile

but she was gone entirely, leaving on the echo of her silvery laughter behind.

“somewhere nice and quiet. I don’t need much — a teapot, a place for my books, and a good quantity of dog biscuits for when you come visiting.”

Draco was sleeping peacefully in the bed beside her, sheets tangled around his waist. The moonlight outlined him etching the lines of muscle along his back.

"apparently you can go all night like a pile driver. Did I need to know that?"

"or moonlight colored eyes, or — my goodness,”

“Moonlight-colored,” mused Draco. “So true, so true.”

Harry was reminded of the look on his face when Draco had kissed his cheek just outside the castle in Romania

Draco’s beginnings-of-a-smile had become a real smile. He looked lit up from within

"it takes pictures, and memorizes directions so you’ll never get lost, and it makes soup — not very good soup"

“You saved the world,” he said. “You might as well see what you saved.”

and Draco bought everything in sight, including a pith helmet, and Harry promised all and sundry that he would be sure to take a photo

The days slid by, langorous and golden.

Draco remembered a long corridor, fading light and fainter voices. “I remember.”

“I think I can safely say yes, now — there will be.”

“In that case, I feel sorry for the gypsies and bandits,” said Narcissa

Muttering something about tragic lack of maternal concern, Draco kissed his mother’s cheek

“Those are our provisions! Leave them alone,”

“We’re going to Paris, Potter, not the Kalahari Desert. You can buy chocolate in Paris.”

Draco smiled more sweetly than the chocolate he’d liberated

Dust to dust, he thought as he reached the Mirror

saw his own pale and startled face, oddly vulnerable, when he raised his hand to touch the back of it to his cheek, it came away wet, and salt-tasting as the sea

If I am your shadow, he said, silently and at last, it is only because you are my light. And the one cannot exist without the other.

the sun was streaming in through the open double doorway that led outside, laying a glinting path and for the first time, he knew with surety that it would be a life that was well worthy of living.

[m-jelly]

Hey Jelly! Firstly, I wanna say congratulations for the 500! 👏🎉

Secondly, may I a request for an angst fic? In canon-verse au wherein the reader has a huge crush on her captain Levi but Levi doesn't feel the same way cause just he thought? He gets annoyed at the reader's presence, he knows about the reader's feelings for him yet he always shut her out, he would tell her painful words. Amidst all that, the reader still loves and devotes to him. Then on the return to shiganshina arc, reader is one of those soldiers who was fallen, back at the ocean scene that's when Levi realizes he had a feelings for her and he plans on telling her but when he returned back he cannot find her and when he works on his papers, he reads the reader's name as KIA soldier. Levi was heartbroken that he cannot move on, he slowly regrets everything and started missing her presence (he would sometimes found himself to her old room hoping to feel her there, or he would keep her old things that reminds him of her).

However, since I'm always rooting for your happy endings Jelly, can you end it where the reader is not dead all those years, she escaped as injured with her horse and lived by herself in the mountains. One day, they reunited when Levi got the news that she was alive all along and he immediately goes to her leaving then with a reunion of cries and surprise. They lived happily ever after being married and wonderful lots of babies! 💚💚

Thank you Jelly and sorry for the long request!

Thank you! I don't deserve it, but I'm so honoured to have so many lovely people here reaching out to me. Also, dis a chonky boy, but I go you ;)

Regrets I can't let go.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: angst, feelings of loss, heartache, hidden feelings, secret love, injured reader, cannon-verse, emotional hurt, time jumps in story, happy ending.

Concept: You joined the scouts with hopes of using your great tracking skills for a good reason, but when you did you encountered Levi and his impressive squad. You hoped to be with him on his team because of how skilled you are, but it wasn't the right place for you. Swept up by Hange, you are her prized tracker. As the years go by, you encounter the strange Captain and find yourself falling in love. You try to act on it, but Levi loses his squad while they protected Eren. You try to support him, but he shuts you out over and over. When you all try to retake Shiganshina, you stay with Hange and her team. After the chaos, Levi decides to admit he loves you now they are free. However, you are assumed to be KIA. Levi longs for you, but you never return. News reaches Levi that you are alive and well, so he hunts you down to fix his regrets.

You ran down the hall as the scouts gathered to see if they'd been selected for a specialist team. There were three possibilities and you were hungry to be in one. You were the best tracker the scouts has seen, so you were hoping to be selected for Levi's squad. You had always faded into the background and felt like a side character, so this was your chance to make a difference.

Hange grabbed your shoulders and pulled you away as she sang your name. "Come with me."

You looked over at the wall to see the scouts were staring at you and whispering. "Wait, I need to know if I was successful."

She pulled you close. "You were. You were top of the list for me."

You blushed. "That explains the whispers."

"Ignore them, okay? You made it because you're amazing."

You walked with Hange as she gave you a rundown of your job with her. You ran around with her and Moblit for weeks, so you never got your chance to talk to Captain Levi and find out why he didn't pick you. You'd worked so hard and did so much training and even overtime just for him to pick you. You were even noticed by Commander Erwin, but Levi didn't seem to care about you at all.

You helped him out on missions and made sure you were there for him, but the more you were there the more you seemed to irritate him. You just wanted him to talk to you about something, anything and be kind. Your want for him to acknowledge you soon turned to more feelings. You'd often take things to him from Hange, but you were still this annoying spec of dirt that he couldn't get rid of.

You wanted to do something for Levi to show you liked him and how you appreciate him. You were always running around the base for him, but he didn't seem to notice. You were desperate, so you talked to your dear friend Hange for advice. You wanted to know how to reach out to the Captain. Hange was the perfect guide and she was your cheerleader as well.

You stood in Hange's lab writing notes for her, then you paused. "Hange? Can I ask you something? I'm at the end of my tether and I don't know what to do. I trust you and you're my best friend."

Hange grinned at you and put everything down. "I'm all ears."

You let out a long sigh. "I think you and everyone know I'm in love with the Captain."

She pointed at you. "Not everyone knows about your feelings. I know, Moblit, Erwin and Mike."

You smiled a little. "Sure, but I think a lot more know."

"You keep it under control. It's a very sweet love. So, what can I do for you?"

You leaned on the counter and let out a long sigh. "I want to let him know how I feel. I want to do something for him. He's just lost his squad to the female titan and he's hurting."

Hange laughed. "Do something for him? You're always doing things for him. He's always ordering you around and looking for you to do shit for him. He's an idiot if you ask me."

You pulled a little face as your shoulders drooped. "So, you're saying he's just using me and I should give up?"

She shook her head. "No, no. I think you should keep going. That man is so deprived of love, that he's a little confused now he's facing it head-on. His birthday is the twenty-fifth of December, so you should get him something nice."

You cheered up a little. "You think he'd like a present?"

She nodded. "Yeah. So, get him something."

You hummed in thought. "Well, it's a few weeks away. I know what to do."

"Good luck kiddo. I'm rooting for you."

You smiled as you felt hopeful. "I'll get to work on the gifts."

She winked at you. "Good luck!"

You finished work with her, then you ran into town and gathered all the materials you needed. You started working on a personalised teacup and saucer for Levi, as well as a scarf. Any spare minute you had, you were working on one or the other. You were having so much fun as you made them because you poured your heart into both. You hoped Levi would like it, but you weren't sure.

You wrapped everything up, then wore a nice outfit on the day. You picked it up, then walked through the empty halls. Everyone had gone to spend time with their family for the holidays, but you always stayed because Hange never stopped working. You were excited to see Levi and wish him a happy birthday. Even though you were excited, you were stood outside his door for a while a little scared of what was going to happen.

Levi threw open his door and slammed his arm against the doorframe. "Tch, oi brat?" He was impressed that you didn't jump. "You've been out here acting like you can't shit. What do you want?"

You blushed, then held out a box to him. "I ah." You sighed and remembered Hange's encouraging words. "Happy Birthday, Levi. I got you a little something, well, I actually made it."

He stared at the box you were offering. "Tch, why the fuck would I want something from you?"

You pulled back the box a little. "I just thought you'd like something. You're always so alone and I know what that's like."

"You don't know shit about me or what I've been through."

You clenched your jaw. "Then talk to me so I can know."

He gripped his door and leaned closer. "I wouldn't tell you anything, even if you were the last scout alive."

You stood there as he slammed the door in your face. You lowered your gaze, then placed the box in front of his door. "Happy Birthday, Levi."

Levi winced a little when he realised what he'd just said and done to you. He'd never liked his birthdays and no one did anything for him, but you were the first. He didn't mean to snap at you, but you made him act in ways he didn't understand. He'd want you around all the time, but when you'd speak to him or pay attention to him his heart would race. You messed up his body. The worst feeling he felt was at night when he was alone, you stirred things in his body that he didn't think was possible.

He opened his door and saw the box still there, but you were gone. He picked the box up, then closed his door. He unwrapped the box to reveal a lovely teacup and saucer, along with a handmade scarf. He lifted up the scarf and inhaled a little. He smiled at the wonderful scent on it, which meant you'd been working on it for a long time and it was hidden in your room, so it was drowning in your scent. Levi felt that feeling he got at night alone in bed stir in him. He packed everything in the box as he panicked, then shoved it all in a draw.

Levi knew you had feelings for him, it was made clear to him by Hange. However, he didn't do anything about it because this was no place for romance and he wasn't even sure what love or romance was. He was aware of you, very aware to the point that he always find himself looking for you and watching you more than anyone else. He didn't understand why and it annoyed him.

He was more aware of you now and watched you around the halls. He saw you were still blushing around him even though he'd been so nasty. He got pissed off one day when he saw you working out with shorts and a sports bra due to the warm weather. Levi admired you, especially how flexible you were and agile. You were covered in muscles like Mikasa, but you were strong. Your muscles didn't stand out like hers, but he saw them when you lifted things, or when you squatted and your thick thighs drew in Levi's gaze.

Levi's wrath came when he saw you stop working out and talking to some male scouts. He stormed over, ordered the scouts around and gave you the biggest punishment. He made you scrub the floors in the bathroom. He would come back and check, then make you scrub more even though your hands were red raw from scrubbing so much. He was pushing you too much.

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You sighed as you moved things with Mobilt and Hange. You'd returned to Shiganshina and were ready to take it back. You were preparing things with Hange's group, but your heart had a weight in it. You knew you needed to focus, but you just couldn't because Levi was on your mind. You'd tried so hard to get close to him, but he just pushed you away.

Hange called your name, then smiled at you. "You okay?"

You nodded. "Yes! Sorry, I'll focus more."

Moblit bumped against you and smiled. "You're a wonderful person and a great scout. You don't need some oblivious Captain to care for you. Someone better will come along, someone who will love you and you really deserve."

You hummed a laugh. "Thanks. We'll get this misson over with and I'll start looking for a new love, maybe."

You followed your orders, then you flew about Shiganshina as trouble increased. You felt something wasn't right, then warned the scouts around you. You flew around looking for Hange, but couldn't find her anywhere. You moved as fast as your body and gear would allow you with your heart in your throat. You felt the burn from the steam from an explosion of a transformation. It surged towards you and consumed you. You cried out in pain, but you kept moving through it. You felt things rip through your right leg, then you slammed into something. Finally, it was quiet.

As the fighting died down, Levi said his last goodbyes to Erwin. With a heavy heart, he rode his horse with the others across the land towards this so-called ocean. He stopped his horse and looked out and realised the all this fuss was for something truly beautiful. He couldn't help but enjoy what it was. He watched the scouts running around and having fun, then he noticed Hange having fun as well.

Levi said your name softly. "She'd love this." He blushed a little, then looked to the way Mikasa was looking at Eren. He frowned a little, then thought about you and looked out at the ocean. "It's not possible..." He walked over to Hange. "Tch, oi four eyes?"

Hange turned ot him. "Yeah?"

"Explain love to me."

She hummed. "Well, it's when you think about someone, you want to make them happy, you want to keep them close, you can imagine yourself growing old with them. Why?"

Levi thought about you, then smiled. "I." He looked to Hange. "I think I'm in love."

Hange said your name. "It's her, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Took you long enough. I knew you loved her, but you just could not understand love." She smirked. "You get hard thinking about her at night."

Levi flushed bright red. "Tch, shut up!"

She snorted a laugh. "I knew it. There's nothing wrong with getting horny when you think of someone you care about." She looked around. "I think she's with the clean up crew. She's a great soldier and works hard, so she's probably working her ass off right now." She hummed a laugh. "I love that woman. You better tell her how you feel."

Levi nodded. "I will, promise."

"Great!"

Levi rode back with the others to Shiganshina and asked around for you, but no one seemed to know where you were. He went back to the base hoping he'd meet you there around the base. He visited your usual spots, but you weren't in them. He began to worry that maybe you were in the hospital. He knew his answer about you would be in the paperwork.

Levi sat at his desk and sifted through and signed off on the alive scouts, the injured, those in hospital and finally he found the KIA. He went through each one slowly as his heart sank at seeing Moblit and Erwin on the list. His hand shook when he got to the second to last page and saw your name written on it. He read the report to say you were MIA presumed KIA, but there was no body recovered. A lot of bodies hadn't been recovered or identified.

He dropped your paper, then stood up on weak legs. He wobbled a little as he took three steps, then he collapsed to his knees and felt like his heart was breaking. He clutched his chest tightly and cried for the first time in a long time. He tried to make choices he regretted the least, but he regretted all the things he said to you and how he treated you.

He shed all his tears, then sat there for hours in a daze like state. His head clicked when he remembered your gift. He opened his draw, then pulled out the teacup and saucer, as well as the scarf. He held them close for a while, then moved his way down the hall past what little scouts were left and entered your room. You had your own room because you worked so close with Hange. He saw how beautiful and comfy your room was. You had cushions, blankets and plants.

As time went on, Levi had moved into your room and taken care of it and your plants in hopes you'd come back. He held out hope that you were MIA and not KIA. He stayed there and never let the scouts bother him when he was in your room. The only person he let in there was Hange, because she too was hurting. They stayed together as they healed, but their wound was opened when they got news.

Jean walked into the mess hall with a frowned. "Hey, I think I just met a ghost or something."

Sasha frowned. "Huh? Really?"

He nodded. "You know umm..." He said your name making Levi and Hange perk up. "Well, I swear down I saw her in town shopping, but she was covered up a little and had this limp. I was in such shock seeing her. I thought she was dead."

Levi shot up from his seat. "Where? Where the hell did you see her."

Jean gave Levi directions. "I don't think she'll be there now."

Levi ran out of the base into the stables. He rode his horse through the town to the spot. He asked around about you and showed your military picture to people until someone gave him an answer. You were living in the mountains in a nice little farm growing herbs, spices and tea that you sold to the town. He followed the directions and found himself at a sweet cottage with a garden full of life and a dog trotting around.

Levi hitched his horse, then walked through the front gate and over to the dog who was clearly next to someone bent over dealing with something. "Excuse me?"

You groaned. "Sorry! Give me a moment I've had an accident." You looked up and smiled. "Damn..." Your smile faded. "Levi?"

He smiled and welled up as he said your name. "I thought you were dead."

You blushed, then smiled. "I'm not."

He frowned. "I...why?"

You sighed. "Help me and I'll tell you everything."

He nodded and looked to the ground to see what looked like a wooden leg like shape sticking out the dirt. He pulled it out, and saw it was a wooden leg up to the knee. "This..."

You reached over. "Help me up please. I think my strap on it broke somewhere."

Levi pulled you to your feet and saw you had a leg and a half. He looked at your face and saw little patches of burned skin now healed. He helped you inside the house with the dog leading him. He helped you to sit down, then he knelt in front of you and pushed up your dress to help.

You stopped his instantly as you blushed. "Don't." You welled up as he looked at you. "I don't want you to see what I am now."

Levi smiled at you. "One hell of a soldier." He pushed your dress up and saw just above where your knee should be was where you leg ended. He studied the cover you hand on it, then he strapped your wooden leg back on and checked the buckles. "Done."

"Thank you." You stood up and walked to the kitchen like nothing was wrong, not even a limp. "I'll make some tea."

Levi watched you closely. "Jean said you were limping."

You hummed. "Well, that's because my leg was coming apart." You carried the tray over and put it down on the coffee table. You let out a long sigh. "I guess I owe you an explanation."

Levi picked up a cup. "Please. I need to know."

You gulped hard, then petted your dog's head. "Well, I got hit by the blast when Bertholdt transformed. I was just far away that it didn't kill me, but it did irreversible damage. I hit my head in the blast and when I woke up, I was confused. I climbed onto my horse and rode off with barely any memory. I checked into the hospital, but I was unsure who the hell I was, I just knew I was a scout because of my uniform. I suffered burned on my right side and some on my back. It's patchy burns, almost like moles or freckles." You sighed and frowned. "They tried saving my leg, but it was ripped up by the blast and shrapnel. I told them to take it off. So, it's gone and they made me a wooden leg. I had to learn how to walk again with it and to help me they got me a dog." You smiled at your dog and fussed him. "They had already named him Sammy."

Levi shook his head. "So, you've been alone all this time? How come you remember me then?"

You played with your dress. "Well, my memory slowly came back as I was healing. When I realised who I was and where I'd come from, I read up on what had happened and well." You shrugged. "I am useless to you all the way I am. You were all better off without me. So, I kept quiet."

Levi fought tears. "Doing that hurt me and Hange."

You sat back. "I regret hurting Hange, but why would it hurt you? You never cared about me."

"I love you!" He shouted your name and stood up surprising you. "I fucking love you, okay? I didn't know I did until I saw the ocean with the others." He dropped to his knees in front of you. "I lost so many people. Erwin hurt, but you crippled me. I lived in your room, I took care of your plants and I slept in your bed. I missed you so much and regretted everything. I was in love with you the whole time, but I was scared of that love and confused. You're the first person I've ever loved, so I didn't know what to do with these feelings. I'm sorry."

You stared at the back of Levi's head, then you smiled. "Well, I've always needed a spare hand in my garden." You hummed a laugh when Levi looked at you and perked up. "Levi, I never stopped loving you. You were everything to me and still are. Stop living in my room at the base please and live here instead. My home isn't too far, it's an hour or two horse ride."

Levi leaned close and kissed you roughly making you hum in delight. "I'll move in. I'll look after you. I'll take care of you and love you."

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Life with Levi was perfect and sweet. He was learning so much and you had to teach him a lot about you new world of living. You felt a spark of life in you again and Levi was far more romantic than you thought. You were always cuddled and kissed by him. You were showered in affection and he was so gentle with you in the bedroom.

It didn't take long before you and Levi were getting married. You were dating for eight months before he asked. Levi had told you that he'd wasted enough time with waiting and pushing things in the scouts, so he wanted to make up for lost time. Hange was your maid of honour and the perfect person to be at your side. The scouts had been wonderful and helpful on your farm.

Levi was shocked when told him you were pregnant, but he was overjoyed when he watched you grow and then bring a little girl into the world. Levi's heart broke saying bye to you and his baby girl Kuchel, but he had to go after Eren. You stayed at home with your little girl not knowing the chaos going on. After the rumbling was over, you prayed that Levi was not KIA. You hoped Levi would return to you, but you recieved a letter from Onyankopon that Levi was in Marley.

You packed your bags and travelled by boat with the help of the scouts over with your baby girl and dog Sammy. When you arrived, Levi was beaten and brusied, missing fingers and his face cut up. He worried about how he looked, but you didn't love him any less. You looked after Levi in a temporary house in Marley until he was well enough to fly back to Paradis with you and back home.

Onyankopon helped you and Levi move back and into your cottage. Thankfully, the local town friends had looked after your garden while you were gone. So, there was not much to repair or fix. You made your house a home with Levi. You were happy together and felt like all the troubles were worth it.

You looked behind you as Kuchel ran after her brother Erwin and little sister Hange. You hummed a laugh. "Slow down you three."

Levi limped down the hall, then caught his two year old Hange from running around with her older brother and sister. "Where do you think you're going?"

She pouted at him. "Daddy."

He shook his head. "Don't daddy me. You're sick right now." He sat her on the sofa and put her blanket over her legs. "Rest now, my little one."

"Okay daddy."

He kissed her forehead, then stood up and stopped his other two. "Erwin? Kuchel? What did your mummy say?"

Kuchel ran over to you and hugged your hips. "Sorry mummy. Are you okay?"

You ruffled her hair. "I'm alright sweetheart. Why don't you and Erwin play outside with Sammy?" You looked to your loyal support dog at your side. "Out you go Sammy."

Erwin walked over to you and pulled on your dress. "Mummy?"

You looked down at him. "Hmm?"

He smiled at you. "You're really pretty."

You hummed a laugh. "Thank you. I can tell your daddy has been talking about me to you."

He nodded. "A lot. Love you mummy."

You laughed as he ran off and played outside with his sister and Sammy. "What a wild bunch we have."

Levi sighed. "It's like having the scouts around us." He pulled you close and kissed you. "We have honoured a lot of our fallen friends."

You hummed as you huggled him and swayed together. "Oh, but we're missing some. "Mike, Isabel and Furlan."

Levi perked up a little. "You're right."

"I wonderful what name I'll baby will get."

Levi looked at your face. "Baby? Wait, are you?"

You nodded and giggled. "I am."

He picked you up and twirled around with you making little Hange on the sofa giggle. "Wonderful news!" He put you down and kissed you. "Such a perfect big family full of love."

[phoenixyfriend]

Systems’ Scourge

I am no Jedi.

She says the words every time someone questions the sabers. She says it, day in, day out, and tells herself to believe it. She says it, and word spreads, because this way her actions don’t reflect on the Republic.

She was kicked out of the Order because she was framed for terrorism.

It’s all she does now, technically. She’s a terrorist, by some definition, even if her chosen targets are slavers and drugs lords.

Her actions must not reflect on the Republic.

“General.”

She turns away from the transparisteel, away from the blur of hyperspace, and into the arms of the man she trusts above all others.

“Almost there?” she asks.

“Another hour,” Rex confirms. He waits until she steps to join him, brushing their shoulders together as they walk through the ship, beskar to durasteel.

(Bo-Katan hadn’t necessarily liked her very much, but she’d had her own strange code of honor. She chose her payments, but she ensured compensation when and where she could. And so it went: beskar for the girl without a home who helped Mandalore, even as it almost killed her.)

(The boys... well. They haven’t been able to afford proper durasteel and beskar alloy armor for everyone yet, but they’re working on it.)

We are not Mando’ade.

“Kix got back to me,” he says. “We running low on bacta again.”

“Do we still have the funds from Zygerria?”

“More than.”

“Approved,” she says, and he laughs. She rolls her eyes. “You already handled it, didn’t you?”

“Of course, cyar’e.”

She doesn’t outrank him anymore. They are equals, in this and all things. He can approve anything she can. The only time she has authority is when they’re playing roles for the underworld.

The only time he has authority is when it comes to Kamino.

“What ate it up this time?” she asks instead.

“Had a few new arrivals,” he says. “Nobody you knew, mostly shinies. Fives is helping them adjust to being alive again.”

“Echo isn’t helping?”

“Migraines.”

“I see,” she says, and casts her eyes across the corridors. Strangely empty. “I’m assuming you’re leading me somewhere?”

“Jesse wants to give you a cultural debrief before we land.”

“We’ve been to Serenno,” she says, frowning heavily. “Dooku knows us. Does Jesse think he’s already fallen and we need to readjust? I didn’t think he was anywhere close last time we checked in.”

“He’s got visitors,” Rex says, grimacing. “From the Trade Federation.”

Oh, lovely. “He does realize the galaxy knows my face at this point, right? Isn’t he worried about the Federation getting word to Republic that the Count is hosting the terrorist they’ve spent two years fearing and hunting?”

Rex shrugs. “I think Jesse might be planning a disguise.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Great. Just love the smell of cosmetics.”

"Only a few hours,” he assures her.

“Yeah, yeah,” she sighs, and decides to switch the topic. “The shinies, all 501st?”

“Affirmative.”

“And still no other GAR ships on the comms?”

“None yet.” He’s as unhappy about it as she is. She doesn’t even after feel out along the bond. He’s still holding out hope for a Marshall Commander that didn’t live long enough to see Order 66 hit. She’s still hoping for almost any Jedi that remembers the war, instead of the pleasant strangers that call her Dark.

I am no Jedi, she tells them, even as their faces shade towards confusion at her white blades. She is not Fallen, and it shows in her kyber. They don’t know what to make of her.

“Republic might start building their own army soon,” she says instead. It’s an old refrain. They both know Kuat is building ships to match their precious Venator. The Survivor, she’d named it, unable to figure out which broken vessel had been given to her in this time she’d never lived. “We need allies, not just Dooku’s bankrolling. Has Fett--”

“No,” Rex says, short and grim. “Denal got close, we think, but he said he’s not going to talk to dar’manda that take orders from a Jedi.”

Lots wrong with that sentence.

“Didn’t get him to look anyone’s face?” she guesses.

“Not enough time,” Rex says. “Denal says it was a firefight. Couldn’t risk taking a helmet off.”

“And without the faces, nobody could get him to listen anything else,” she concludes. “You’d think he would have seen the wanted posters.”

“Think he’s of the opinion that if it walks like a Jedi, talks like a Jedi, carries a saber like a Jedi...”

She rolls her eyes. “So we’re back to square one, looking to hire on new soldiers that someone’s going to have to train, that we’ll have to convince Dooku to help pay for when we can’t appropriate funds from the Hutts, that probably won’t measure up to clone standards or have any sense of how to work with you, and will be security risks.”

“About sums it up, sir.”

She shoots him a look. “You’re making fun of me.”

He grins, easy as anything. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Sir.”

She bumps her fist into the metal on his upper arm. “Remind me why I married you?”

“Well, we were pretty kriffed up,” Rex fake-muses. “Pretty sure the trauma was a big part of it.”

“Of course.”

“And we can’t forget that time you started crying on me while we were making out.”

“No doubt.”

“And we’ve been friends for the better part of a decade now, so that’s going on the list.”

“I wouldn’t dream of not including our many years of shared horrors.”

“Or that Dooku kept asking when we were going to make things official.”

“I never should have told him I was part of his lineage,” she sighs, just as they reach the door to Jesse’s favorite Cultural Debrief room. There’s an old-school projector in there, and far more cosmetics and undercover costumes than the average person would expect. It’s a fun room.

Ahsoka turns and lifts up on her toes, just enough to press her lips to his. Rex tilts his head, presses back just a moment, and then pulls away. They grip each other’s forearms, and Ahsoka doesn’t shy away when he presses his forehead to hers.

“How much longer?” he asks.

It’s the same question, every time. She never has an answer.

She was raised to keep the peace. He was born to fight for it. Neither of them have ever truly known it.

She’s not sure they ever will.

“Jesse’s waiting,” she mutters, and pulls away. He matches her smile, small and tired, but meant only for the other. She turns to the door, takes a deep breath, and steps on through. “Okay, who are we preparing today, because I’m sure as hell not meeting Gunray as General Fulcrum.”

“We’re thinking Princess Ashla this time,” Jesse says, completely unruffled by the loud entrance. “Unless you want to play up the ‘Dooku’s adopted granddaughter’ thing. The Count might appreciate it.”

“Hard pass,” she says, dropping into the makeup chair. “Princess Ashla it is.”

I am no Jedi, and so I do what they cannot.

[bokutoslittlebird]

Awakened

Alpha!Osamu x reader x Alpha!Atsumu

Author’s note : Fantasy AU based on two pieces of fan art of the twins as fox yōkai, but I hope it’s to your liking! ; their names are never directly said to reader-chan, so their names are what they call each other.

Warnings: bullying (brief, not from the twins), naive and innocent reader, knotting, double penetration, backshot, face fucking/blowjob, dubcon/noncon, blood, biting and licking, cunnilingus, creampie

There’s a legend that runs deep in the roots of your village, one that’s told to many and encourages children to stay away from the forest. It was proven effective — no child dared to enter the forest, holding onto that fear into their adult years. The legend revolves around two mischievous fox spirits that would always be in competition. They always had someone who would win, but then a terribly evil spirit came upon the clearing they played in, forcing the two spirits to push differences aside and fight off the evil spirit that entered the territory. It was a combined effort, the two spirits realizing they worked better when they worked together. It taught children that sometimes it was better to ask for help; however, it also taught children that they couldn’t go into the forest. The spirits resides in the forest, protecting the village from evil spirits as a combined task and if anyone dared trespass in their forest, then destruction would come to the village.

It was a legend some teenagers dared to challenge, entering the forest and coming out, saying “nothing bad happened to them!” but then their luck would turn sour sometimes. It always put things in perspective, seeing them suddenly fall into a mud puddle after entering the forest, or having their pants suddenly fall. It made people laugh, but it really made you feel like the forest was alive and watching. You never dared to go near the forest. At least, not until your pride was at stake.

“Go get a stupid stick, [Y/N]!” Jocelyn sneered, her eyes narrowed. Her arms were crossed and she was tired to repeating herself. You were dared to go into the forest, get a stick to bring back for proof, and you would no longer be a coward. It was simple in words, but not so simple in action. You feared the bad things that happened after people entered the forest, but you were considered a coward for those beliefs. “You’re just a big, dumb baby!”

“No I’m not!” You shouted back, puffing your cheeks. You let out a heavy breath and turned to the brown and green image of the forest. They wouldn’t be able to see you enter the forest, but they just needed a stick as proof. Sucking up the courage to go, your legs moved towards the foliage. You could hear the other girls’ jeers as your pace slowed, the forest closer than you had ever dared to let it. The forest itself looked peaceful, but the legend of the spirits scared you, halting your footsteps. Instead of going in, you were going to pick up a stick on the outskirts, but there was no stick. Nothing but grass lay before you, the shadows of the trees outlining what was the forest and what was not. There was a stick you could see, the light seeping through the leaves illuminating it as if you were on a quest to get — well, you kind of were.

Sucking up any inhibitions you had, you entered the forest. Picking up the stick, you noticed a lack of any other stick lying in the fallen leaves. Clutching the stick to your chest, you turn to go when you find a small piece of cloth, hidden in the leaves. You pick it up, looking at the designs and feeling how soft and silky it was. It was a robe that your ancestors adorned, but the fabric told you it was either brand new or kept in pristine condition. With it in your hands, you found yourself turning to flee once again. The howling of the wind sent your legs running out of the forest and up the hill, as fast as you could. If you had listened closer, you would have heard the howl of a beast as you fled.

Deeper into the forest, a pair of eyes watched as you obtained the stick and plucked the ceremonial robe from the earth he presented to you. When you chose it and fled, he smiled. His eyes turned from your retreating figure and moved to leap from the tree he perched himself on. As his body was that of a grey fox, he was much better at hiding than if he was in his more human form. Transitioning between into his human form, he smiles once more, a finger on his chin.

“What to offer her next, I wonder?” He ponders aloud, with only the wind around to hear him and carry his voice.

Your lungs are burning as you arrive back at the little picnic you were attending, the girls giggling as you finally come back. “Did ya see a ghost or somethin’?” Akira asks. You’re heaving as you present the stick, perfectly in tact and big enough to feed a fire. Everyone’s cheers are perceived as mocking to you, as you move on. The picnic is no longer something you want to attend, instead preferring to take a bath and sleep. With your worries placed on the forest and the spirits within, you find yourself wondering if you’ll be able to sleep or shall an entity come and judge you for trespassing.

The next day, you find your gaze drawn to the forest, as if it calls you down. Ignoring the calls are hard, you legs involuntarily moving as you think. On the edge of the forest, you see inside to find a small temari ball. It looks as if a young child once played with it, as you get closer to the object. Looking around the forest, you expect to see a child lost or crying, but you find nothing. With the lack of an owner, you decide to leave the ball. Turning to leave, you reprimand yourself for entering the forest again.

The sound of leaves rustling has you swiveling around, almost falling over when you realize the temari is following you. Moving back, it continues to follow you. A quick glance around proves that no one else is around, so you pick up the temari. As you did yesterday, you flew out of the forest and hope you didn’t take a malevolent being’s toy.

Another pair of eyes watch as you flee, his temari offering close to your chest. A wickedly mischievous grin spreads upon his lips, his form emerging from the shadows where he was hidden. With sharp canines peeking from his smile, warm brown eyes look to the path you had just taken. “I’m glad she likes her present. I can’t wait for what tomorrow will bring,” he chuckles, moving further into the forest. With each step he takes, a thick fog permeates the forest floor, providing a barrier past the stream.

You don’t know what it is. The growing urge to enter the forest gets stronger as the day continues on, the urge barely quenched upon nightfall. Even in your bed chambers, you find yourself looking through your open window, into the forest. Mist seeps from the greenery, an ominous feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. A howl from the forest startles you, eyes finding the gaze reflecting back at you. As you hold the gaze, feeling yourself rooted in place, another set of eyes joins. You shut the window, deciding to never go back to the forest.

When morning comes, the feeling of needing to go to the forest is even stronger. Feeling ill from the image of last night, you decide to stay home for the day. When a knock comes to your door, you assume it to be the milk delivery. Upon opening the door, your eyes widen at the two boys on your doorstep.

“Can you go get my ball?” The first one says, a bright smile on his face. The one currently sniffling nods in agreement. They look like twins, not that you’d recognize them.

“I didn’t mean to kick it so hard, please don’t tell my dad!” He cries out, holding onto his brother. You smile warmly at him, getting to eye level. Running your hand through his hair, his sniffles lessen.

“I won’t tell anyone, you’re fine. I’ll be right back,” you smile at him, wiping his tears. You shut the door, telling them to stay put as you go searching for the ball. As you look around, you become confused. Where is the ball? Moving further along your backyard, you hear a hushed whisper from the forest, wide eyes turning to sound. With an apology already on your lips, you turn to enter your house when you find yourself unable to move. As if an invisible barrier prevents you from progressing towards your house — which seems proven true as you inch towards the forest and suddenly cannot go back to where you were. With the unsettling pit in your stomach, you enter the forest once more.

Entering, you find the mist from before still evident, yet it parts for you. Curiosity sets in as you are further urged into the forest, stopping as you hear water trickling. A stream lays in front of you, waters more calm than your heart beat. You inhale, deciding to risk it as you wade through the stream. The water seeps into your shoes, the bottom of your dress becoming saturated. Progressing further into the mist, now a heavy fog, you find a large temple inside. It’s stable and perfectly standing, as if it isn’t centuries old. The two erected statues tell you the temple belongs to the spirits of the legend, finding a chill run through your blood as you realize your situation. Before you step foot onto the stairs, you turn to leave but are halted.

“Where do you think yer goin’?” A rough voice speaks. You whip around to see a tall, but handsome man. The hair is a dark grey color, eyes to match. What stuns you is the pair of grey fox ears, a tail that matches in color swishing behind him. His clothes remind you of the robe you found amongst the leaves.

“I-I’m terribly sorry, really!” You begin to plea, pulling on your wrist. “I-I didn’t mean to- to trespass!”

“What’d’ya mean? This is your home, y’know?” He seems genuinely confused, another stun to your body as his words settle. Home? This temple? Before you can refute him, another voice joins in.

“Ah, ‘Samu, I told ya humans are different. They don’t know the offering ritual, but I made sure to get our offerings. Our silly little human forgot about them,” he chuckles, looking at you. With the robe you found on one arm, the temari in his hand. “This was my offering, you know,” he gestures to the ball. “A precious item to me, it is. I’m glad you took care of it and cleaned it up. What a perfect little wife you’ll make,” his grin makes his words more sinister than they originally were. Fear spikes through your veins, your limbs suddenly shaking as you feel your legs give out. The one dubbed ‘Samu catches you, holding you bridal style as you find yourself hesitant to hold onto his robes.

“‘Tsumu, y’know I’m not watching humans like you do. That’s weird,” he cringes, nose scrunching up in disgust. ‘Tsumu seemed to get ticked off at that, growling. Only then did you notice how animal-like the both of them were, sporting fox ears and a tail to match. While ‘Samu had dark grey, ‘Tsumu spotted a saturated yellow hair color and slightly lighter ears and tail. So caught up in the view, you didn’t notice that the brothers has started walking, heading towards the temple.

“W-Wait, I can’t go with you! I’m— I’m not who you’re looking for!” Sputtering out the first things to pop into your mind, the two don’t stop.

“Of course yer who we’re looking for! You’re meant for us, meant to know your place with us. After all, why else would enter our domain, smelling so delicious as you do?”

“Smell— what?”

“‘Tsumu, stop bein’ cryptic. He’s saying you entered the forest during your heat cycle,”

“Well, ovulation in humans. Apparently, they’re not like us special spirits,”

“You’re ready for us, we can smell it. You’ll be the perfect mate for us to breed,” although ‘Samu seemed uninterested, you could feel how his chest seemed to heave as he inhaled deeply. The growling accompanying his final word sent slick between your folds as you held onto him close, afraid of falling.

Arriving at the top of the temple, you saw a cot that has been lain out, the soft cushioning big enough for the three of you. The sight of it had your brain going into overdrive, panicking as you attempted to leave ‘Samu’s arms. He complied, but his hands stayed firmly on your hips. “Time to get dressed,”

Before you could ask for an explanation, your clothes were practically torn off of you. Blood spilled onto your ripped dress, your side burning from where the claws caught you. The shreds fell to the temple floor, your hands flying to cover the exposed skin. While one hand covered the area between your legs, your arm held your breasts close to your chest. ‘Samu clicked his tongue, easily removing your hands from your body while ‘Tsumu slid on the robe, his claws lightly grazing your skin. He didn’t hide the fact he was admiring the view, either, his dark eyes gazing over each inch of skin you presented to him. Once the robe was on, you were released from ‘Samu’s hold, left to cover yourself up with the fabric. You’d deny it aloud, but the robe fit you perfectly.

“You’re gorgeous,” ‘Tsumu growled, shedding his own robe. Your hands came in front of you, hoping to somehow deter him when ‘Samu brought you backwards, to the cot presented. ‘Tsumu wasn’t far behind, dropping to his knees while you lay against the cot. It was softer than expected, more plush than it looks. ‘Samu had stripped of his own clothes, his robe hanging loosely on him by the ribbon around his waist. ‘Tsumu was different, his robe open and letting you see every inch of skin, but his arms still through the sleeves as if he was cold.

“I don’t—“ you began, your words interrupted by ‘Samu’s lips on yours, his tongue brushing against your closed lips as he deepened the kiss. ‘Tsumu’s touches had begun to litter your thighs, spreading your legs as he inhaled deeply. A finger touching your entrance had you jumping, only to be held firmly down by ‘Samu’s hands.

“You’re so wet, it’s hard to hold back,” ‘Tsumu growls out, his tongue lapping at your folds. You squirm and make a noise of displeasure, but ‘Samu is there to keep your focus on his lips and kisses. The more he kisses you, the hotter your body gets and the more you feel your resistance melt away. ‘Tsumu has his face between your thighs, licking and sucking on your clit, claws digging into the skin. It has you clenching around nothing, the hot pleasure from his tongue and burning sensation on your thighs. It isn’t until he removes himself from between your legs do you feel relaxed and at ease, as if your body is jelly. Your resistance is no more, a small whine coming from you when ‘Samu and ‘Tsumu remove themselves to admire their handiwork.

It’s a sudden change, the relaxing touches and breathless kisses are gone, replaced by the feverish touches of both men as they paw and scratch at your skin, ‘Samu’s teeth sinking into hot skin and lapping at the blood while ‘Tsumu presses less destructive kisses to your neck. With the air much too hot for your liking, a breathless moan leaves your lips when ‘Tsumu pulls your head back by your hair, spitting into your mouth and then kissing you. With his tongue tracing your teeth and his growls being swallowed up by your mouth, you’re oblivious to ‘Samu. With his cock in one hand, he kneads your thigh with his other hand as he rubs along your folds.

“‘Tsumu, move off,” ‘Samu growls, pushing the fox spirit off of you, his large frame colliding with the wooden planks of the temple. You find yourself on your hands and knees, ass in the air while the robe is promptly stripped off of you, lain underneath you. ‘Samu licks his lips, lining himself up with you entrance while ‘Tsumu gets his balance back. The first press in has you screaming, but it isn’t just because he’s big. His thickness is something you never expected, but with his calloused hands on your hips, bringing you back into his hips with no regards to adjusting you. A guttural groan comes from ‘Samu, head thrown back as he basks in the pleasure of being buried in your cunt. ‘Tsumu is now back to you, his hard cock in front of your face.

With another rough thrust, one that has you practically bouncing off ‘Samu’s cock, ‘Tsumu has you wrapping your lips around his. You can’t take it all in, that’d be impossible. With a pair of hands on your hips, you’re brought to ‘Samu while the pair of hands tangled in your hair pulls you towards ‘Tsumu. Lips pressed firmly against ‘Tsumu’s cock as your tongue runs under the length, running over the bulging veins and ridges you find. Your eyes are screwed shut, unable to stay open while ‘Samu splits you on his cock, somehow forcing himself deeper and deeper inside of you. It isn’t until you’re finally bouncing flush against him do you feel something strange on his cock. It’s only then do you open your eyes, looking at ‘Tsumu’s cock that has a large bulb at the base of it, growing in size the more you suck on him. Hollowing out you cheeks has ‘Tsumu groaning, claws digging into your scalp as he forces himself down your throat. He doesn’t force the bulb in your throat, thankfully, but he does coat your throat in his cum.

“Your mouth is fucking hot, little human. It’s like you were made to take us,” he breathes out, panting. You’re coughing, feeling Samu’s thrusts speed up as he brings you close to him, but he pulls out at the last moment to spill all over your back.

“With our scent on you, you’ll be stuck by our side until you pass,” ‘Samu is in a similar situation, chest heaving as you’re flipped over. You’re then placed on ‘Tsumu’s lap, his cock rubbing between your folds as he grinds into you. “But we’ll take you together first,”

“So no hard feelings, right ‘Samu?”

“Right, ‘Tsumu,” the agree, Tsumu’s cock rubbing into you and then prodding at your drooling cunt. He slips the tip in, the feeling similar to ‘Samu’s thick cock. Speaking of ‘Samu, he’s quick to stick his own tip back in, stretching you out farther then you expected. A silent scream comes from you as tears spill down your cheeks, both of them thrusting into you as your cunt burns.

Split open on their cocks, you’re helpless. Nails digging into ‘Samu’s shoulders as his hands once more find themselves on your hips. ‘Tsumu’s hands are keeping your legs spread, the view of you sucking in both their cocks on display as they thrusts in tandem. When one pulls out, the other thrusts in and vice versa. The rhythm they set is one that works, their lips finding opposite sides on your neck to kiss and lick, teeth grazing the skin. You feel a buildup of your own orgasm as they plow into you, your walls squeezing them as they pick up the pace. Their rhythm gets sloppy, short growls from each as their bulbs start to grow again.

When ‘Tsumu sinks his teeth into you, your scream is one of pleasure as you reach your high, coating both of their cocks a milky white cream, the liquid falling to their base and dripping down. ‘Samu sinks his teeth into your skin on the opposite side as they both push into your tight cunt, a scream and shiver running through you as the do, their bulbs inflating inside to stretch you even more.

You’re completely stuck, their cocks inside you as they lap at your wounds. It’s only when you squirm do they start talking. “You’ll get used to it,”

“After all we have a week,”

“You’ll be able to take our knots with no problem,”

“All your holes will be used to taking us,”

Their words don’t ease you concern, but the fact that once they leave your warm cunt, they’re still hard and readying you for round two. The heat encompassing your body refuses to leave, their skin as sweaty and hot as yours. With their relentless stamina and obsession with pumping all their seed into you, you’re positive you’ll get pregnant.

[thefanficmonster]

All The Colors

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Colorblindness, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: The colors are not always seen but rather felt. Just like Y/N feels the colors through their best friend and boyfriend Corpse. That’s how they realize that what they can’t see is the most beautiful and genuine feeling in the world. The feeling of knowing something and someone so deeply.

Requested by my dear friend Lulu, who you might have known as greenieofshield. Unfortunately she’ll never get to read this fic and I’ll never forgive myself for not putting it out sooner but I’ll also never forgive the universe for being so cruel as to take her away so early. She was one of the best people I’ve ever met, always so full of optimism, always there to brighten up my day and make me smile. Always so strong and brave, never falling victim to the hate she received despite not being deserving of it. The world lost an angel the day she died and I as well as so many other people will forever miss her.

Love you and miss you with my whole soul and hear, Lulu. Hope they’re treating you right in heaven ❤

For what it’s worth, Y/N has never asked people to describe the colors to them. In their eyes that seemed like the equivalent of poorly patching up a wound: they could hear thousands upon thousands of descriptions of each color and still wouldn’t be able to imagine it. The descriptions would only make that worse to them. So to avoid feeling even more like they’re missing out they never asked.

However, that doesn’t mean they haven’t developed their own way to ‘visualize’ and imagine colors throughout the years. They’ve tried loads of different methods, few of which stuck around and not for long either. That is exactly why they frequently used to tell their friends: “You can’t paint me a rainbow with black and white and shades of grey and expect me not to feel like I’m missing out on something. Paint me the gloomy sky on a rainy day and only then we’ll be even cause you’re seeing the same greys I am.”

Little did they know how drastically their logic was about to change in the following years.

Speaking of said following years - they met Corpse who became one of their best friends in practically no time. And within just a few months of that friendship’s blossoming, a romance sparked. A romance their friends would jokingly refer to as ‘romance of a lifetime’. Maybe it was said jokingly but Lord knows they weren’t wrong in saying so because the two were completely head over heels for one another -s till are to this day - and never shied away from showing it.

Y/N and Corpse met through Rae who Y/N was staying with while on a little vacation to Los Angeles. To be even more specific here, the two met through a game of Among Us, the game responsible for many wonderful friendships since its release.

“Guys, guys, guys.“ Y/N said after sparking up a bickering session for falsely accusing ‘blue‘ of faking a task in Navigation during the final round for the day, “Here’s a little rule of thumb for whenever we play together again: don’t trust me if I accuse a color instead of a name.“ It’s safe to say that statement rose a few eyebrows in the Discord call, the confusion serving as amusement to them before they explained themself, “Oh, why that is? Hm, I don’t know, maybe cause I’m colorblind.”

Rae who was in on the scheme the whole time and was struggling to hold in her laughter finally snapped while the rest of the players were left processing the information that had been dropped on them.

“But you practically kicked our ass every single round?!“ Corpse said, amazement and confusion in his tone.

“Expect the unexpected from this schemer, take it from someone who’s known them for a decade now.“ Rae said, winking at her friend from across the room. Not failing to notice the blush on their cheeks while doing so though.

“Corpse, are you calling me a good liar?“ They poked a stick at him teasingly, desperately avoiding Rae’s gaze which widened the second she realized why her friend was so flustered by Corpse’s remark.

“Practically a con artist.“ He replied to them with a laugh, earning one from them in return.

And so they practically conned him into falling in love with them with their quick wit, sarcasm and cuteness. If someone is to ask Corpse if he expected to fall for Y/N, he’d probably say yes.

“They were like a magnet the moment they entered the lobby and started talking.“ He said once on a live stream in response to a question he received in the chat regarding Y/N, “It wasn’t hard at all, falling for them. What took me a while was realizing it. While I was referring to them as ‘best friend’ all my friends were rolling their eyes and going ‘Sure, bud.’ Just took me a bit to realize why.”

Luckily, it didn’t take him too long to grasp what his heart was actually screaming at him. Good thing they came to terms with it so soon too, otherwise they would’ve driven their friends insane.

Anyway, enough about what happened and what could’ve happened under one circumstance or another, what matters is the ‘here and now’ of their relationship. And trust me when I say it has never been better and it keeps getting better every day.

The beauty of what those two have is in the tiny every day things that they do for each other, the good morning texts even though the other person in probably just in the kitchen making breakfast while the other cannot find it in them to get out of bed; or it’s laced within the calls between them when neither of them are home or at least one of them is out and about, busy with a task they’ve probably been putting off for far too long. Don’t get me wrong though, the romantic gestures aren’t rare either. Random gifts are exchanged by them on regular intervals but one consistent and super romantic gesture that repeats a few times every year (of the two years they’ve been dating) is Corpse giving Y/N a bouquet of flowers.

A detail Y/N couldn’t help but take notice of was the fact that the bouquet was always made up of the same flowers with only small changes to the arrangement of them and maybe some tiny ones added too. Unfortunately, they aren’t artificial so they couldn’t have kept them thought they wish they could’ve. That being said, it goes without saying that those flowers mean the world to Y/N, the gesture actually - they know flowers are a common gift to give but anything they receive from Corpse is so special and makes them feel like the only person who’s ever received such a gift.

And so they got curious, they had to ask. They had to ask the question they never thought they’d actively ask considering their view of the topic. But they still did.

“Hey Corpse.“ Y/N spoke up out of the blue, breaking the silence that had fallen over them while they watched the movie they were only partially interested in given how exhausted they both were from devoting themselves to their respective tasks and responsibilities throughout the last few days.

Corpse hummed in response, the arm wrapped around their waist doing a little motion as if encouraging them to continue, his gaze immediately traveling down to his partner.

“What color are the flowers?“ They asked, gazing at the bouquet - a gift they had received from him for their birthday a few days prior - in the vase on the dining table.

They waited a few seconds but when they didn’t hear nor feel any sort of response from him they couldn’t help but look up at him. Upon doing so, they saw his small smile as his eyes too remained on the bouquet. “They’re black and white.“ He replied eventually, “Black roses and white daffodils.“ His gaze wandered away from the vase and down to meet theirs, “I don’t want you to think I’m seeing them in their ‘full beauty’ while you only see them in black and white. You are seeing them in their full beauty and not missing out on anything. They are absolutely beautiful black and white as they are.“

As a response to his answer, Y/N couldn’t suppress the growing smile on their face no matter how hard they tried. So they didn’t try at all, they let the smile lighten up their face before speaking up: “You’re a wonder, Corpse.” They said, pushing themself as upright as they could to be able to kiss his cheek. “However, you’re wrong.” They say when they pull away, smirking up at his confused expression, “My world was black and white until you came into it. You’re all the colors, Corpse. Your love’s red, joy’s yellow, sadness blue, chaos green. Love red. You’re all the colors and out of all the people that have tried to describe to me how they look, you have managed to do that just perfectly without even trying.”

Little did they know that’s exactly what he thinks of them - their world is black and white because all the colors live within them. Because they are all the colors.

And maybe they both are, seeing as how they came into each other’s lives exactly like the rainbow after the pouring rain.

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[azaleavi]

Best Friend

Requested by anon: hi could I request a sebastian x female reader where they have been best friends for years and reader has been in love with him for a while and it hurts her thag hes dating someone else and one day she just blurts it out because its too much??? angsty with a happy ending hopefully???

Word count: 1.8k

Author’s note: I got my first request!! I was so happy that I started writing right away. Thank you so much for requesting dear anon I hope you like it.

Feedback is always appreciated and don't forget to reblog and like if you liked it and want to see more. Thank you!

Masterlist

(the texts in italics are either throwbacks or thoughts)

Being the best friend of Sebastian was a challenge. It wouldn't have been, normally, but you had fallen in love with him and that made things a hundred times harder for you. But how could you not, when he was the most charming man you have ever met. He was the sweetest human being and he was always there for you when youu needed him. You met when you worked on a movie together and immediately hit it off. Thankfully there were more than one projects you worked on alongside each other so you became even closer. You thought there could be something more between you than friendship, but Sebastian never seemed to look at you like that. You got your hopes up multiple times, only to be let down again and again. So now you just learned to not expect any romantic feelings from him.

I want to tell you something the text read from Sebastian. You heart leaped in your chest at the thought of him wanting to talk to you about something seemigly important. It had to be important. Right? Maybe he would tell you, that he sees you as more than a friend. You texted him back saying that he could come over right now if he wanted to. He sent you a thumbs up, meaning he was on his way so you got to cleaning up your apartment. It wasn't necessarily messy, but there were a few things out you had to put away. Living in different cities or even countries all the time never left you with enough time to completely clean up the only place you called home. A knock on the front door shook you from your thoughts. You walked to it with a deep sigh, excited, but also afraid of what Seb wanted to talk to you about. Opening the door you met with his beautiful face.

"Hi" he smiled as you stepped aside to let him in.

"Hey. Come in." you greeted back. He walked in and took off his shoes as you closed the door. You walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. He fidgeted with his hands, a sign that he was nervous. "What is it Sebby?" him being nervous made you even more nervous so both of you were just a bundle of nerves.

"It's just... I just..." he sighed, leaning forward and rubbing his face with his hands. Something was wrong.

"Hey, you can talk to me" you reassured him, putting your hands on his back and rubbing it.

"I accidentally told Chris that you are a virgin" he finally blurted out. Your hand froze on his back. He looked back up at you, only to see you trying to hold back a laugh. "Why are you laughing?" he asked, confused.

"He already knows Seb." you let out the laugh you've been holding in. His face lit up in realization and he relaxed against the back of the couch. "This is what you wanted to tell me?" you continued to laugh.

It was after he left that you let yourself feel the sadness of not getting the confession you were waiting for.

You loved having him as a friend, but you wanted more. You wanted to be the one that wakes up next to him every day, who gets to kiss him every chance you get. You could dream about it how many times you wanted to, but it would never happen. Especially when he had a girlfriend. You remembered when he told you.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he grabbed your elbow as you were walking away from set, done for the day. You turned around, noticing how your face was closer to his than it probably should have been. He seemed to notice too as he stepped away from you. Your heart broke a little at his movement, but you knew that it wasn't his fault. He didn't feel the same as you did. You couldn't blame him, really. Why would he love you? There were so many better people out there whom he could choose. You understood, no one ever noticed you, so why would he be different. It was your fault for falling hopelessly in love with him. You tried to stop, you truly did, but it was no use. You couldn't tell him either, your friendship would be forever ruined. Of course he would be nice about it and say that he would want to keep being your friend, but you knew that it would never be the same.

"Yeah, sure we can talk" you smiled at him. The two of you walked to his dressing room, that was empty. You sat down on a hair as he did the same. "So?" you urged him to talk after a few second of silence.

"I met someone" your world stopped at his words. He looked up to see your reaction, but your face was blank. Your thoughts were a mess as you tried to come up with a response, trying to not show how your heart just broke into a million pieces.

"That's..." you cleared your throat, blinking a few times to get rid of the tears that started gathering in them. "That's amazing Seb." you froced a smile on your face, praying that he wouldn't see through your mask.

"She is actually working with us so I want you to meet her." he smiled, excited at the thought of his best friend and girlfriend meeting. You wish you could be happy for him, but right now you couldn't feel anything else but pain.

That was 8 months ago and they were happier than ever. Well... were before she decided to break up with him out of nowhere. He has been heartbroken for a long time, but he had you helping him through it. It was hard on you, but he was still your best friend and you knew you had to be there for him.

You were currently at his house, having a movie night. He was feeling much better now, your presence helping him through the worst of it. He was eternally grateful for you because of it. You were cuddling on his couch, becoming much closer in the last few weeks. You didn't use to do things like this, but when he started initiating the touches you didn't object. You thought it would be only for a little while, just because he needed someone to be close with after the breakup, but it didn't stop and your feeling were only getting stronger and stronger with each passing day. The movie was playing, a cliché romance, as he ran his fingers up and down your arm, your head on his shoulder. The man on TV was confessing his love for the woman and it made you think about what it would be like if you told Sebastian how you felt. He doesn't need a girlfriend right now you reminded yourself.

"This is so dumb" he rolled his eyes.

"What is?" you asked back, not understaning his problem.

"They were friends before this. Why ruin a perfectly good friendship with these feelings?" he felt your whole body stiffen at his words so he moved away to look at you. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing" you tried to brush it off and go back to cuddling, but he wasn't having it.

"No, something is wrong, I can feel it" he pushed.

"Seb, seriously, it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"No, you have to tell me when something is wrong, we are best friends and I don't want you to keep secrets from me-"

"I love you" you blurted out, your mouth moving without thinking. No, no, no, no this cannot be happening right now. He immediately stopped talking and just stared at you, frozen. You stood up from you place and started walking back and forth in front of him." I know you don't need this right now and I didn't even want to tell you, but you just kept pushing and I-" stopping your rambling, your eyes filled with tears. You let out a stuttering breath, your hands on your mouth. I've just ruined everything. I'm so dumb. You looked at him, still sitting in the same place, his mouth open in shock. "Please say something." you pleaded moving your hands to your sides, not being able to take his silence anymore.

"You are in love with me?" he whispered, eyes boring into yours. Heart sinking in your chest you looked down.

"Yes" you sighed, feeling like a ton has been lifted from your chest, the truth you've been holding in had finally been revealed. Two legs appeared in front of you and two hands grabbed your arms. You didn't want to look up, already knowing the rejection, that was coming.

"Look at me y/n" he asked quietly. "Please" he said when you didn't oblige. You finally looked up at him at his request, face now soaked in tears.

"I'm sorry" you whimpered, your heart fully broken. You valued his friendship so much and you didn't want to lose him over this, but it felt like it was already over. He pulled you into a hug.

"Do not be sorry for your feelings" he tightened his grip on you, making your tears fall faster. You let out a sob at his affection. This might be the last time you get to hug him like this so you gripped his waist as strongly as you could. He pulled away enough to look into your eyes. "Don't be sorry because I feel the same way." your heart skipped a few beats, your eyes widening. You couldn't believe your ears so you just looked at him confused. Sebastian smiled at your cute impression and swiftly pressed his lips to yours. You couldn't even close your eyes considering how shocked you were. Sebastian realized you weren't moving and pulled away, worried. He called your name in question which shook you out of your frozen state.

"What did you say?" you finally spoke.

"I said I love you too." he laughed.

"But you... you were... you... what?" you stuttered, not being able to form a coherent sentence.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you" he chanted as he pressed his forehead to yours, still laughing, which was cut short when you pressed your lips to his. You kissed for a minute, but you had to break away from the other for air.

"Why didn't we do this sooner?" you laughed, wiping away the remainer of your tears.

"I don't know" he leaned in to kiss you again, smiles on both of your faces.

Permanent taglist: @byatomoe

(let me know if you want to be added)

[shotosprincess]

♡ dating the bnha boys — hcs

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

➪ shoto todoroki

pls you’ve prolly been terrified of him for a while prior bc of how ?? talented ?? the mf is ??

but mans prolly saved you at some point and there was this lingering stare you two shared before he left you at recovery girls’ office; were you reading too far into things ?

spoiler alert: you weren’t.

anYWAYS-

he’s the kind of boyfriend to tenderly brush your hair for you and attempt to learn how to tie and braid your hair up in cute ,, simple designs !!

he’d always be ready with little things you’re constantly forgetting; extra snacks,, water,, a fully charged portable charger ,, trust me when i say that man is pREPARED- after all ,, he needs to be ready with everything to take care of his little sweetheart ,, does he not ?

ONLY TWO POINTS IN AND IM ALREADY CRYING BC I LOVE HIM SM BYE BYE BYE

at some point he’d find you sitting on the roof by yourself late at night,, only to stay with you and let you fall asleep on his chest as he drapes a blanket over you and heats it up a lil with his quirk

OKAY YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THAT MAN WOULDNT HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU AT ALL TIMES AND WOULD SOMETIMES EVEN GET LOWKEYHIGHKEY KINDA SAD WHEN YOU DONT LET HIM

prolly bc he just wants to prove to you that he can be useful

pls just let the man know he’s useful and important he never shows it directly but he needs the reassurance—

he’d give you a warm massage w his quirk whenever you’re in pain :”)

HIDES AND PROTECTS YOU FROM MINETA BC HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHAT THAT LITTLE SHIT FANTASIZES ABOUT

loves heating//cooling things for you ,, like instant noodles or ice packs !!

surprises you w jewelry that have his initials on them !!

GIVES THE BEST CUDDLES I SWEAR

would hold an umbrella for u while you loop your arm into his as the two of you walk home through the light rain :”)

cries into your chest sometimes after youve fallen asleep bc it’s late nights like these when he reflects on just how lucky of a guy he is to have you— it’s hard for him to articulate it directly ,, but when he does fully open up to you ab it ,, you end up crying too .

WOULD 110% MAKE THE TWO OF YOU YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIL ICE RINK AND TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATE // DO FUN FIGURE SKATING DUOS WITH YOU

➪ katsuki bakugou

prolly got with you initially bc of a dare ( and he nEVER passes up a dare ) ,, but eventually those feelings started to become real and honestly ? it kinda scared the shit outta him . he didn’t know why ,, but for some reason he didnt actually want to leave .

OKAY LARA JEAN AND PETER MF KAVINSKY TYPE BEAT ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ HIT US WITH THE FAKE RELATIONSHIP TO REAL RELATIONSHIP TROPE YESYESYES

teasingly-mean nicknames = his love language . enough said .

AGGRESSIVE !! KISSES !! ALL !! THE DAMN !! TIME !!

makes you wear his hoodie whenever you show even the sLIGHTEST hint at being cold

he just rly wants to see you in his clothes

he’s so clueless on how to do this whole boyfriend thing ,, but he’s definitely trying bc it’s for you :”)

watches and tries so desperately to copy all the cute couples in the movies you guys watch together

“ roses...do you want roses ? “ “ what ? “ “ the guy in the movie gave her roses...do you want roses too ? “

but at the end of the day you just appreciate him for who he is and that’s more than enough for you :”)

PLS DENKI AND KIRI ARE CONSTANTLY SHOCKED AT HOW MUCH HE’S TRYING FOR YOU

will take any and every opportunity to show off his strength and quirk to you <3

now we all know this man gets jealous hella easily ,, and its no different w relationships :”) he’d constantly make it a point to hold you extra close to him in public ,, show you off on social media and call you by a nickname//petname whenever possible just to reiterate to ppl the fact that you’re his and he’s yours

WOULD LET YOU SIT ON HIS LAP AND DO HIS EYELINER AT 2AM PURELY BC YOU GOT BORED

pls i could rly see myself doing that i wont lie

honestly sometimes he forgets himself and his temper gets a little out of hand ,, but the second he sees his feral reflection in your fearful eyes,, he pulls you to his chest and apologizes profusely :”))

➪ denki kaminari

MF PROLLY GOT WITH YOU BC OF A RIGGED GAME OF SPIN THE BOTTLE AT MINA’S PLACE I CANNOT SEE ANYTH HAPPENING OTHERWISE

one tiny kiss turned into two ,, which turned into three ,, and before you knew it ,, the both of you were spilling out the pent up feelings you had for one another all this time—

mina never shuts up ab it ,, she’s so proud of her matchmaking skills

when the power goes out during a storm ,, he holds onto you tight and plays w your hair as he uses his quirk to turn things back on ,,, “ shhh it’s ok,, i’m here “

will do anything and everything to make you smile <3

he has a lil album in his camera roll with all his favourite pictures of you ,, which is practically just all of them tbh ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

HE LOVES SHOWING YOU OFF IN THE MOST WHOLESOME WAY POSSIBLE !!

super energetic n bubbly but at the end of your dates he passes out right away in your arms

you make sure to wrap him up in blankets and give him an overload of kisses after he’s rly asleep though

will work embarrassingly hard to win you stuffed animals at the fair !! it doesn’t always work ,, but it’s cute nontheless <3

some of the staff and children at the fairs get pissed off but oh well ,,, what you do for love

pls he prolly makes you lil bento boxes for lunch every now and then ( ESPECIALLY DURING EXAM WEEK ) w tiny notes and designs taped on them

constantly calls you “ shawty “ lowkey un ironically and dice rolls in ur direction whenever he sees you ,,, you just end up laughing and playfully punching him

I JUST KNOW HE DOES THE F BOY LIP BITE FACE CONSTANTLY

ITS AN ADDICTION FOR HIM I SWEAR

SUPER CLINGY BUT IN THE CUTEST WAY AAAA

LIL STICKY NOTE LOVE LETTERS FROM HIM IN YOUR LOCKER EVERY !! MF !! DAY !!!

you both agreed that at home cozy netflix dates w microwave popcorn and fuzzy blankets >>> movie theatre dates

110% made a playlist for you at some point when he crushed on you from afar and shared it w you after you started dating

he made a collaborative playlist for yall AND multiple playlists of songs that remind him of you afterwards

pls i just kNOW this man’s love language is making playlists

theyre prolly all categorized by mood or smth too w the cutest covers ever pls

➪ ejirou kirishima

you initially met him bc he was hella upset and alone this one time and you were the only one to notice and be there for him bc he ran away from everyone else to hide the “ uNmanLy “ tears :”))

takes you w him on his lil gym visits ,, hypes you up with every little thing u accomplish !!

constantly teasing bakugou with how he’s able to pull you and how lucky he is to have you

bakugou gets hella annoyed most of the time and just blasts him away-

idk bro i just feel like kiri prolly calls you “ adorable “ alot i wont lie-

LOVES HAND HOLDING,, takes any opportunity to hold ur hand and trace lil casual patterns across your knuckles w his thumb

sometimes he’ll even draw lil hearts on your hand

play fighting but sometimes the two of you get too carried away and he actually loses half of the time-

LATE NIGHT GAME NIGHTS WITH HIM AND THE BAKUSQUAD,, he loves being on the team against you so he can get all competitive

OK HEAR ME OUT;;;; DANCE BATTLES W HIM AS YOUR PARTNER AGAINST RANDOM PPL AT PARTIES

mans gets hella insecure ab himself sometimes ,, so he loves doing lil things for you !! opening a can ,, pulling the blanket over you ,, zipping up your jacket <33

STOP WAIT THATS SO CUTE BYE I WANT THAT

lets you dye his hair—THATS HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS YOU BYE

pls yall prolly aggressively play wii sports and just dance against one another on a regular basis;; it’s literally your thing and you cannot tell me otherwise ahjdjfj

pls i just KNOW this man’s an overly passionate wii player

will wrap his arms around your waist and hug u from behind as you make breakfast

WOULD WEAR MATCHING EARRINGS W YOU IF ITS FOR YOU

slow dances in the living room at midnight w you !!

eventually as you spent more time together ,,, you were able to change his idea of “ manliness “ ,, and he was able to realize that manliness is not equivalent to stoicism and that expressing ur feelings is still totally manly and totally valid !! <33

[bored-storyteller]

44- Twisted Wonderland, Riddle, Leona, Idia and Azul x Reader

- When Riddle looks at you he probably doesn't even realize it. Whatever he is doing, if you are around him his gaze is automatically drawn to you. It is a natural gesture that is not even programmed, simply out of nowhere he realizes at some point that he has only you in sight.

-Obviously Riddle is an extremely serious and competent person, he will not be distracted by your presence from what he is doing, whether it is giving directions or scolding the most unruly students. Only his eye will fall on you several times, to control you.

- But when by chance you catch his eye though, oh, poor Riddle. There is no wall or shelf that can hide the shyness and embarrassment that suddenly takes him. Why can't he look away from you?

-You smile at him, of course. Of course you smile at him. How can you be so merciless with his poor heart? The blush and embarrassment become the masters of him, and he cannot calm his heartbeat which accelerates so fast that he is convinced that you can hear it, despite your distance from him.

-It is obvious that everyone will notice the drastic change and sudden nervousness that the young leader of Heartslabyul takes.

-"Are you ok?" your voice wanders between worried and amused as you approach him, and his gloved hand instinctively moves towards his lips, in an attempt to shield at least a little from the eyes of others: "I'm fine! Really fine!"

-You don't insist, you can't be so cruel - certainly Cater will do his duty if he's around -, but you can enjoy that tender admiration you enjoy for a while. "See you later!" you tell him quietly, and he just nods, unable to speak anymore.

-Despite everything, despite the embarrassment, his eyes will follow you as you move away until you are no longer reachable from his sight. And believe us, he can't wait to see you again.

-It's not so strange that Leona's eyes fall on you, he dominates what he looks at. It is not strange to anyone that his eyes flow towards you and linger. It is never too much nor too little, he is the leader who keeps an eye on his herd.

-You are a herbivore, it is obvious that he keeps an eye on you - because he has to, not because he obviously wants -, but his gaze is always steady, almost hard, bored. That's why no one ever pays attention to it, even if having Leona's gaze on you so often must mean something.

-However, sometimes he really gets lost looking at you. There is no particular reason, you are simply there and nothing is more interesting than you. He doesn't realize it, and nobody realizes it, at least until you're the one who inadvertently looks up at him.

-And then there is a stalemate, you both look at each other in silence. Then slowly he begins to realize, you know from his feline ears that flatten slowly against his head, from his emerald eyes that widen slightly and from his tail that twitches nervously behind him.

- "What are you looking at, little herbivore?" Obviously he tries to turn the alleged blame back on you, yet that embarrassed childlike attitude of him makes you smile. "Nothing, and what do you need?" You answer him without fear.

- "Oi ... if I don't keep an eye on you, you'll end up being eaten by someone here." His tone is lower, his eyes are now narrowed, but his ears and his tail still show his agitation. You laugh, and he, now completely exposed, growls at you, then turning his back on you.

-He walks away, but his leonine tail hits your arm, tickling it slightly. It's his way of playing and you know it. Leona's attentions are not so rare if you know how to perceive them, and if you are willing to really know him, it is fun to have something to do with him.

-Idia is even afraid to look at you! Not that he is really afraid of you, but every time his gaze slips in your direction he feels in danger, sensing the risk of being discovered.

- Whenever you are around him he will try in every way not to look at you. He even pretends not to see you at times, he parades in front of you without a word, with his head bowed. He obviously hurts you, given the intimacy you think you have with him, but he doesn't know it, he would never want to hurt you, you know.

-However, when he feels safe enough from the looks of others, or simply when he is so focused on your voice enough to lower his defenses, he finds himself looking at you as if only you exist on earth, as if everything else was a background without importance.

-When he realizes that he is blocked, it is natural for him to fall into total embarrassment, it doesn't matter if you haven't seen him, his heart is too violent to be controlled.

-So imagine when suddenly your eyes dip into him when he still hasn't realized he's locked in on you. Oh, poor Idia, he thinks he can die right now. His hands hide her strawberry-red face, and in a vague attempt to get out of sight he pulls the collar of his sweatshirt over his nose.

-"I'm sorry!" He will exclaim over and over again, in total panic. You don't know what he's apologizing for, but deep down it's Idia, so don't think about it too long.

-"Everything is alright!" You exclaim, reaching out to lightly caress his head. You can't help it, he's too tender.

-His golden eyes peek shyly, as if he were asking your forgiveness for a crime. "It's just that you're too cute ..." he whispers to you, sure no one else can hear him but you, and you can feel his blush spread to you too.

- Azul's gaze is fleeting. He never persists too much, it is difficult to notice and can easily be mistaken for a casual look that falls on you while his eyes retrace the surrounding environment.

- If someone looks at him long enough, however, the frequency with which that casual look of his falls on you could be quite suspicious, to Floyd for example it is suspicious.

- All he does when your gaze is also on him is to look away with the naturalness with which he placed it, moving it towards his interlocutor or on the book under his nose. You do the same, of course. There is no way you can look at it with the express purpose of admiring it, right?

- It's all right, as long as your catching him red-handed is sudden and insistent. It happens in that particular moment when his pupils find themselves penetrating yours. It is the moment of half a second that makes the difference, that look of yours fallen into his eyes too perfectly that imprisons him, and there he is trapped.

- He looks at you for endless seconds, his eyes slightly wider just like a culprit. How can it escape you now?

-He clears his throat and puts his glasses on his nose, while his eyes wander lightning fast on the too explicit smiles of the twins. Obviously you noticed, that's why you're not taking your eyes off him, right?

- "Forgive me, it's indiscreet of me." He still mumbles, covering his lips with his fingers. Is it a blush you see on the tips of his ears? Now that you're close to him, he can't help but apologize, yet you can't know how agitated his mind is as he looks at your smile.

- "It's okay, I was looking at you too, it's normal, right?" Your sincere answer leaves him thrilled, he almost forgets to breathe. Azul is not one who speaks out of turn, but as you join him to reach the lesson he cannot say a word, too focused to tame his eyes which inevitably continue to rest on you.

[basic-otaku]

My thoughts on Xue Yang's character (based on the drama and novel)

Xue Yang is a character I didn’t fully understand until I finished The Untamed. I looked back on him with a bit of pity but little understanding. It wasn’t until I listened to his character song that I truly began to dissect his character. Reading those lyrics completely flipped my perspective on him, and I went back to watch the Yi City arc again. I was shocked by how much I had missed. Xue Yang has since become one of my favorite characters of the series. I’ve spent so much time thinking about him and his motives that I finally decided to write down my thoughts. This analysis comes mostly from what I perceived, so it may differ from other people’s opinions. You are free to disagree with me.

Let’s start with what we know: Xue Yang was a street kid with a hard childhood. We know he was abandoned at a young age, but we don’t know how young. However, he must have been old enough to survive, so he couldn’t have been younger than four when he started fending for himself. We don’t know who his parents are because he doesn’t remember them, nor does he remember anyone else who had potentially taken care of him. His parents could be dead for all we know, or they could have dumped him somewhere when they no longer wanted to take care of him. It’s all up to speculation. He also has a very high pain tolerance, probably due to constant beatings as a child.

When you’re all alone in the world, you have to learn to put yourself first. There’s no one to care for you, so only you can care for yourself. I believe that Xue Yang wasn’t always a bad person because no one is inherently evil. However, because he was alone, there was no one to nurture him and teach him right from wrong. When all you experience is violence and hatred, that becomes your response to similar situations; you don’t expect kindness or want to give it in return.

One of Xue Yang’s flaws as a child was his naivety — he was much too quick to trust. That’s how he got himself into such a bad situation. He was eager to have something he was never able to have (candy), so he immediately trusted that shopkeeper when he said he could have some as a reward for running an errand. What he got in return wasn’t candy, but a brutal beating and a severed pinky. If Xue Yang had still had any faith left in humanity, this is the point where it would have left him. The remaining childhood innocence in him was gone. This brings me to an interesting piece of dialogue. In Yi City, when Xue Yang confronts Song Lan and tells him what he’s been up to, Song Lan curses at him, calling him an animal. Xue Yang laughs at him and says, “I quit using those words when I was seven.” And what happened to Xue Yang’s finger? “One finger was ground into battered flesh on the spot. The child was seven.” Even Xue Yang himself knows that moment was when everything changed, and he still carries the resentment with him now.

Back to the cart incident. This event scarred him for life and was the primary reason he became a sociopath. Now he’s bent on revenge. He was powerless as a child; just another street rat who shouldn’t be treated like a human being nor spared any pity. So, when he realizes he can do the same to those that hurt him, he takes it much further. When he was old enough and strong enough, he exacts his revenge. He wanted to make the Chang Clan feel his pain — not only for the finger he had lost but for his whole miserable life up to that point. If no one deigned to understand him, then he’d make them understand in the only way he knew how. With violence.

Xue Yang was only fifteen or sixteen when he slaughtered the Chang Clan, killing more than fifty people. This is where he meets Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. From the first moment, Xue Yang hates Xiao Xingchen. He’s so righteous, so full of light. He thinks he makes the world better just by doing a little good. What a hypocrite. Where was he when he was needed? Where was he when Xue Yang was a seven-year-old boy left crying in the streets after having his finger ground to a pulp? No, nobody can be that good.

When Xue Yang is captured by Wei Wuxian and the others, Xiao Xingchen takes him back to Qinghe to be apprehended, and Xue Yang vows to get his revenge on Xiao Xingchen for it. It isn’t long after he escapes from Qinghe that Xue Yang slaughters Baixue Temple, blinding Song Lan in the process. According to Xue Yang’s logic, hurting Xiao Xingchen’s friend is just as bad as hurting Xiao Xingchen himself. This is what causes the rift between Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. Without this incident, Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen may never have met again.

A few years have likely passed while Xue Yang was working for Jin Guangyao. He is probably closer to eighteen or nineteen when Jin Guangyao injures him and throws him out, which is how Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing find him. Xiao Xingchen doesn’t hesitate in bringing Xue Yang back to Yi City with him and A-Qing and caring for his wounds. Xue Yang wakes up pained and disoriented, but he immediately tries to back away when he realizes who is tending to him. He doesn’t know Xiao Xingchen is unaware of his identity, and probably thinks that Xiao Xingchen is getting ready to take him to face justice or something. But Xiao Xingchen insists that he doesn’t need to know who Xue Yang is and that he’s only doing what’s right. Xue Yang is clearly shocked by this admission. He truly cannot comprehend kindness, and this is the first time he’s ever experienced it.

This is also the first time we get to see his genuine smile. It’s shocked and incredulous, like he can’t believe this is happening, but it’s there. Throughout the series, Xue Yang’s snarky words and sly smirk are a token of his character, but now we know they are just a mask he uses to hide the small, broken child inside of him. If no one can see the hurt he hides, then no one can hurt him further. But with just one kind gesture, Xiao Xingchen was able to bring out the young boy who just wanted love and comfort.

This kindness is such a foreign concept to Xue Yang that he doesn’t think it’s genuine for a long time. But as the years pass, Xue Yang comes to realize that Xiao Xingchen isn’t a threat. This is something he scoffs at. Xiao Xingchen is ridiculously naïve; so stupid. If he knew who he was living with, who he was eating with, he wouldn’t act like this. He would treat Xue Yang the same way everyone else had. So, Xue Yang decides to trick Xiao Xingchen into murdering innocent people for revenge. Xue Yang can’t wait for Xiao Xingchen to find out what Xue Yang has made him do because it’ll break him. What this revenge is for is up to interpretation. Maybe he’s still angry about being captured and sent to Qinghe. Maybe he’s angry at the world for treating him so badly. Maybe Xue Yang wants to show Xiao Xingchen that his worldview is stupid and that there are no good or pure people in the world. I choose to believe that it’s the last one.

At least, this is his motivation at first — he slowly loses the will to harm Xiao Xingchen. This brings me to another interesting point. In episode three, Xue Yang says he doesn’t fear death, he fears boredom. But isn’t this domestic life he’s living with Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing considered boring by his standards? I think the boredom he speaks of is really the fear of being alone and having nothing at all. Now he’s happy, however reluctantly he’s willing to admit it. He wouldn’t have put up with A-Qing’s petulant behavior if he didn’t enjoy the time they spent together. Although they didn’t get along at first, Xue Yang protects A-Qing and takes care of her like an annoying older brother. He teases her, sure, but he also cuts her apple slices in the shape of rabbits and gives her advice on how to scare away the people who bully her (even though killing them isn’t great advice). Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing were the family he never had. Now he would do anything to preserve the life he is living.

After about a year, Xue Yang’s plan stopped being about revenge. I’m not completely sure how he justified this change of heart, but I like to think he told himself he was still biding his time and that he’d get back to it eventually (even if he had stopped thinking about hurting Xiao Xingchen). Based on what A-Qing told Song Lan when he arrived at Yi City, Xue Yang hadn’t taken Xiao Xingchen out on one of those night hunts in a long time. And most of the people that Xue Yang made Xiao Xingchen kill were the merchants that made fun of his blindness and cheated him with bad vegetables and high prices. It was a messed-up way to get revenge for Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang hates being looked down on, so shouldn’t Xiao Xingchen feel the same way?

Nevertheless, the time they spent in Yi City was probably the only time Xue Yang had been happy in his entire life. Xiao Xingchen was so in tune with what Xue Yang needed that Xue Yang came to care for him deeply. Whether those feelings were romantic or platonic in nature is up to the viewer, but I believe Xue Yang had fallen in love with Xiao Xingchen in the only sick and twisted way he could. Xiao Xingchen understood him more than anyone ever had, going so far as to listen to his idle ramblings and bring him a piece of candy every day after hearing that he had loved sweets as a child but could never have any. He managed to tame the savage beast in Xue Yang’s heart with only his presence and basic human decency. Xue Yang’s bloodlust was satiated as long as he had Xiao Xingchen to take care of him. At this point, I don’t think he would ever actually kill Xiao Xingchen. He had stopped wanting to hurt him a long time ago. A-Qing? Sure. She’s expendable, but Xiao Xingchen is irreplaceable. Even if Xue Yang reluctantly came to care about her, it wasn’t the same kind of bond. She had never shown him the same kindness that Xiao Xingchen had. He wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her if she betrayed him, but she was important to Xiao Xingchen, which meant he couldn’t do her any harm if he didn’t want to disrupt their happy life.

If Song Lan hadn’t found them, how long would Xue Yang have stayed? I don’t even think he knew. He just knew that he didn’t want to leave anymore. Xiao Xingchen gave him too much for him to want that. The viewer can easily see the happiness in his eyes when he looks at Xiao Xingchen. Xue Yang acts like a kid around him — playing games, joking around, making him laugh with childish remarks. Even in the quiet moments, he’s happy. This was especially noticeable in the campfire scene. It wasn’t shown in the original drama, but in the special edition, Xue Yang smiled at Xiao Xingchen from across the fire, and the look in his eyes as he gazed at his daozhang was so tender that it honestly caught me off guard. It seemed to catch Xue Yang off guard too because he caught himself, and the smile slowly fell. It’s like he realized what he’s doing and remembered that this should be about revenge.

Where in the past, Xue Yang hated Xiao Xingchen for his righteousness, he now loves him for his naivety. Without it, Xue Yang knows that Xiao Xingchen would be disgusted with himself. There would be no more laughs, no more games, and no more smiles. Then Xue Yang would lose the one person who didn’t treat him like dirt. So, when Song Lan finds them, Xue Yang immediately perceives it as a threat to their domestic life. He knows how important Song Lan is to Xiao Xingchen, and there’s no doubt in his mind that Xiao Xingchen won’t hesitate to leave with Song Lan when he discovers Xue Yang’s identity.

Furthermore, Xue Yang resents Song Lan for taking Xiao Xingchen’s eyes (even though it was voluntary on Xiao Xingchen’s part and was essentially Xue Yang’s fault). His logic tells him that having Xiao Xingchen kill Song Lan would be the perfect way for Xiao Xingchen to get his revenge. What Xue Yang doesn’t understand is that not everyone thinks about things in the context of revenge. I don’t believe Xiao Xingchen ever truly regretted giving up his sight. But Xue Yang can’t comprehend how someone could be that selfless.

This is where it all falls apart. A-Qing sees what happened to Song Lan, and she runs to Xiao Xingchen and tells him everything. When Xiao Xingchen comes back to confront him, Xue Yang spills it all. There’s nothing left for him to lose. His mask falls again, and he basically bares his soul to Xiao Xingchen. This is probably the first time he’s told the story about his finger, and I think he genuinely thought Xiao Xingchen was going to understand him; that if he knew what Xue Yang went through, he’d sympathize with him and justify his action (thereby justifying his feelings). Instead of that, however, Xiao Xingchen calls him disgusting, and it flips a switch inside of Xue Yang. How can Xiao Xingchen call him disgusting when he’s killed people too?

I think one of the reasons Xue Yang led Xiao Xingchen to kill those people was to bring Xiao Xingchen down to his level. Xue Yang doesn’t think that anyone can be as good as Xiao Xingchen claimed to be, so he had to taint his perfect record. Maybe if he killed people, Xiao Xingchen would understand him. Xue Yang thought that when Xiao Xingchen found out, he’d stay with him. Now he’s not the same righteous person he used to be, so how could he be good enough to travel the world with Song Lan? No, he should stay with Xue Yang instead and live a happy life together.

So, when Xiao Xingchen calls him disgusting, Xue Yang was probably confused and upset, which made him instinctively put his mask back up. Being vulnerable only hurt him again, so he’s back to harsh words and smirks, telling Xiao Xingchen that this is why he’s always hated him and that all of this was fun. Fun in every sense of the word: the killing and the happiness.

Xiao Xingchen finding out that he killed Song Lan was the last straw. Xue Yang is still laughing as Xiao Xingchen slits his own throat. It takes a moment for the realization to set in, but as it does, the smile falls from Xue Yang’s lips, and his hands begin to shake. This is the third time his mask has fallen. His eyes begin to well with tears, but he tries to keep up his act, saying that dead ones are easier to control, but the only one he’s acting for is himself.

The next scene is the one that really solidified Xue Yang’s feelings for me. He cleans the blood from Xiao Xingchen’s skin with the same care that Xiao Xingchen had shown him when he first found Xue Yang in that ditch. Xue Yang clearly thinks that Xiao Xingchen is going to come back and that the ritual will work, that he staves off his tears and sets out food for both of them. He considers eating his candy but then decides he should wait until Xiao Xingchen comes back. If he’s back, then Xue Yang is sure to get another piece.

When he realizes that the ritual isn’t working and Xiao Xingchen isn’t coming back, he breaks down. The tantrum he throws is so full of rage and anguish that it really shows the depth of his feelings for Xiao Xingchen. Again, he goes back to acting, trying to guilt Xiao Xingchen’s dead body into coming back to life by telling him all the terrible things he’ll do to Song Lan and A-Qing if he doesn’t reawaken. Obviously, Xiao Xingchen can’t hear him, and Xue Yang knows this, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He finally dissolves into tears, screaming and crying over Xiao Xingchen’s corpse. This may have been the first time he’s cried since he lost his finger. Crying is for innocent, naïve children, and it doesn’t help anybody. But now Xue Yang has had a taste of pure sweetness and doesn’t want to go back to the bitter life he has known, so he finally lets himself weep for all the things he could have had.

Xue Yang spent the next seven years trying to bring Xiao Xingchen back to life with no success. We don’t know much about his activities after Yi City, but we have gotten information through rumors that Shuanghua was being used to kill innocents. It seems like Xue Yang wanted to keep a part of Xiao Xingchen with him. He even continued his sick revenge plot after Xiao Xingchen’s death by gouging out the eyes of and killing the remains of the Chang Clan, including their leader, Chang Ping, by lingchi. Xue Yang doesn’t blame himself in the slightest; he just thinks that Xiao Xingchen’s death was an unfortunate consequence of the situation. He will put the blame on anyone and everyone other than himself. Thus, instead of performing lingchi on himself like Wei Wuxian suggested, he takes out his anger on the remains of the Chang Clan.

Everything Xue Yang does in the present is tied to Xiao Xingchen, yet he still can’t bring him back. So, when he heard that the Yiling Patriarch had suddenly come back to life, Xue Yang knew it was his last chance. The sword ghost/ghost arm is what led Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to Yi City. It was pointing to its murderer. I’m sure Xue Yang could have avoided a confrontation if he wanted, but this was intentional. As for the juniors, I have a feeling that Xue Yang was behind the cat corpses that led them to meet up with Wei Wuxian. This is still unclear though because Xue Yang doesn’t have a real reason to get them involved. The only person he needs is Wei Wuxian.

Xue Yang has tried everything at this point. So, when Wei Wuxian finds him in Yi City, pretending to be Xiao Xingchen, he is completely desperate. I do wonder if that is something he has done more than once. Did he often go around dressed as Xiao Xingchen? Was he playing with the life they had in Yi City? Pretending he was still there? Or was it a one-time thing to trick Wei Wuxian into dropping his guard? I also wonder how often he used his own sword because only after Lan Zhan took Shuanghua from him did he pull out Jiangzai. That could be because he was acting as Xiao Xingchen, but we can’t be sure. However, that isn’t the point. Right now, Wei Wuxian was Xue Yang’s only option because the Yiling Patriarch surely knew things he didn’t. Xue Yang had lived with Xiao Xingchen’s corpse for those seven years, keeping him in pristine condition. I’m pretty sure the only way Xue Yang could have done this was by giving him spiritual energy every day, which would be incredibly draining. I don’t think Xue Yang had an exceptionally strong golden core to begin with either. He is primarily a demonic cultivator, which means he doesn’t use his golden core often. It must have taken most of his strength to keep Xiao Xingchen’s body in such good condition. But anything for daozhang, right? Xue Yang needed Xiao Xingchen’s body to be perfect when he returned. He also put aside his pride and used Song Lan for protection all those years. He kept the one person he continued to hate with a burning passion around him for so long.

When Wei Wuxian tells Xue Yang he can’t bring Xiao Xingchen back to life because his soul is too broken, Xue Yang refuses to believe it. It’s been seven years already; he can’t give up now. Deep down, I believe Xue Yang knows Xiao Xingchen wouldn’t want anything to do with him even if he did come back, but he can’t figure out why. Because nothing was his fault, of course.

Something Wei Wuxian said really struck me as I went back to rewatch episode 39. Before the fight, Wei Wuxian turns to Xue Yang and says, “you disgust him to the core, yet you still want to pull him back to play this stupid game.” Xue Yang responds with “I want nothing of the kind.” And he’s being honest. He doesn’t want a stupid game — he wants something real. He wants a life where Xiao Xingchen knows his identity and stays with him in spite of it. He just wants one person to accept him as he is, but that will never, nor could ever, happen —not with all the crimes he has committed.

When Lan Wangji cut off his arm, leaving Xue Yang bleeding on the ground, I think he knew it was over. There was nothing left for him now. He was never getting Xiao Xingchen back. He never had him in the first place, not in any way that counted. So he laughs, blood spilling from his lips, to cover up the tears he wishes he could cry.

He’s ready when Song Lan stabs him, dying with a smile on his face as he gazes at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen had ever given him. It’s blackened and inedible, yet Xue Yang held on to it for so long; it was a reminder of his daozhang and of why he was fighting so hard. Like his character song said, he was “too determined to let go.”

It’s kind of sad that even in death, he was never respected by anyone other than Xiao Xingchen, and all of that was built on a lie. He didn’t even get a proper burial, although I suppose he kind of deserved it. Xue Yang is the character I pity the most in this series. He isn’t a good person, nowhere near it, and he deserved the end he got, but I wish things could have been different. What hurts is that it just as easily could have been Wei Wuxian. If Xue Yang had been taken in as a child; if he’d had his own Jiang Fengmian, his own Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, he could have been happier. Maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe he would have met Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan and started a sect with them. Realistically, he and Xiao Xingchen would never be lovers because Xiao Xingchen was so strongly connected to Song Lan, but I think they could have been friends.

However, one question I still have is did Xue Yang fall in love with Xiao Xingchen because of how he treated him or because of the person Xiao Xingchen really was? If they had met under different circumstances (and if Xue Yang had had a support system when he was young), would Xue Yang have still fallen in love with him? I guess that’s up to the viewer to decide.

Ultimately, Xue Yang is still a sociopath who can’t understand empathy or feel remorse, so I don’t think he regretted any of his crimes. However, I do believe that Xue Yang regretted the consequences of his actions in Yi City. He didn’t want Xiao Xingchen to die, but his actions were what caused his death. It’s more of a dissatisfaction with where things ended up than feeling guilty for his death. Although I don’t think Xue Yang felt remorseful, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t grieving, nor does it mean his feelings for Xiao Xingchen weren’t as genuine as they could have been.

I don’t know where Xue Yang or Xiao Xingchen will end up now, but I hope they’ll both be happy in their next lives. The same goes for A-Qing and Song Lan (when he finally meets his true end). There are so many things that contributed to Xue Yang’s unstable mind, but I think the moral of the story is that it pays to be kind. If just one person had taken pity on him as a child — had shown him that there was good in the world — I wonder what kind of person he would have become.

I already know how cruel fate is

Not looking, not asking, not grieving, not hating

Waiting to relive my life just for a single person

Ups and downs in life

I would leave no regrets

I tried searching in the darkness of night

When I am trapped in the past

I still hope that a flicker of light will appear in my heart

The legend of this lonely city

Who came here before?

And gifted to me my karma

I am waiting for this karma to liberate spirits, liberate souls, and liberate me

Even though I am already too determined to let go

If I get rid of these inner demons

Would you forgive me?

Gaining freedom from destiny, starting all over again

[love-archon]

A Day With The Genshin Characters: Liyue Edition

Today's going to be a busy day! Check your planner for who you'll be meeting with- as one of the esteemed members of the Liyue Qixing, you cannot afford to be late to any appointment. 

• 6:00, Ningguang: Morning Tea 

Although you say you love your job, waking up at un-archonly hours has to be the part you like the least. Even getting up at five in the morning, the hour when tigers prowl, is still not enough time to prepare for a meeting with the Tianquan. You rush around frantically choosing the best outfit, fragrance, and hair arrangement to present yourself to Lady Ningguang, and you're halfway out the door when it hits you- you forgot to bring a gift with you!

"Right on time," Ningguang says, pleased. You smile, hoping she won't hear your heart beating from anxiety. "And what a lovely present, too... is there any doubt you were appointed as one of the seven Qixing?" (You can't tell if it's her rare praise, or the sheer altitude you're at within the Jade Chamber, that's making your head spin).

• 7:00, Keqing: Business Meeting 

You barely have time to rest before Keqing whisks you away to Yuehai Pavilion. You're very close friends, and you admire the girl for her tenacity and diligence. The conversation flows easily as you walk to your destination under a cloudless sky. It's a wonderfully sunny moment, but the moment the doors lock, you mean business. In the next two hours, you conquer matters that would normally take days to resolve, and the two of you exchange grins. 

"There we go!" Keqing breathes a sigh of relief, pushing away the last stack of papers. She holds up her hand, and you high-five. "You know, I like how easily you keep up with me. You even caught mistakes I would have missed... things like this make me even more certain Liyue is better off in human hands."

• 9:00: Check In With Ganyu

With such a hectic schedule, Ganyu is your saving grace. It's always important to check in with her, just to make sure nothing you have planned catches you by surprise, and sometimes you wonder why others rarely do the same. She's quite lonely, and often mentions how nice it is that you speak with her every day and bring her gifts to help with work. It may be part of your job to be courteous, but... it does help her feel less lonely and conflicted with herself. 

"Qingxin flowers? Thank you so much." She accepts them gratefully, smiling at you with warm eyes. "I still have that new stationery you gave me, too. You're so kind for remembering the things I like!"

• 9:30: Talk to Beidou

The tea in the Jade Chamber was just a front for Ningguang to spring a request on you- meet with the captain of the Crux Fleet to discuss her... recent smuggling habits. But Beidou merely laughs heartily when you arrive. A crewmate tosses her a sack of Mora, and she slits it open, letting the payment shower over you in a spray of gold. And then, before you know what's happening, you're roped into helping them find a treasure rumored to be lost beneath the waves. 

"So, Ningguang though sending her star diplomat would get me to let up, huh!" You blush, wondering how you could be so easy to read under her ruby eye. "I was impressed by your words, and how well you fought by my side. But the annoyance of the Liyue Qixing is of no concern to me."

• 12:00, Tartaglia: TEACH HIM A LESSON!

As the member of the Qixing that oversees diplomacy and foreign relations, it's you that must meet with the Fatui Harbinger. He's quite good at playing pretend- all your underlings believed he was a naive, careless young man, and easily manipulated, too. And all of them ended up suppressing the urge to break something after they were done conversing with him. On your honor as one of Liyue's seven stars, you vow to not make their mistakes. 

"You're asking why I don't try to drive you mad?" he said, setting down his fork. You'd caved in and given him one after watching him struggle with chopsticks for far too long. "You're the only one who isn't a bore to talk to, that's all-" so this was on purpose?!- "and besides, I want to challenge you to a fight afterwards! Your vision's getting quite dusty from neglect, comrade. Let's fix that!"

• 2:00, Yanfei: Discussion of Legal Matters

Yanfei's counsel is an invaluable treasure. Especially when dealing with an opponent as vicious as Snezhnaya's Fatui, who deserve to have her wrath unleashed upon them. You walk to her office with a gleam in your eyes, and are delighted to see an equal fire already blazing in hers. For the next few hours, you two take the "suggestions" Tartaglia passed on from the Northland Bank and scheme on how to best tear them to shreds with the law.

"That man-childe's been giving you trouble again, huh," she giggles. "What did he come up with this time~? I've been waiting for an excuse to bring out the latest edition of my lawbook!" And with that, Yanfei slams it down, and the sheer weight of it nearly cracks her desk. "He won't know what hit him!"

• 4:00: Free Time

Of course, "free time" simply means that you have no meetings scheduled for this hour, which lets you adequately prepare for the next day's events. Tomorrow is your appointment with the Feiyun Commerce Guild, which you already know will require great patience and strength of mind. Because the head of the guild, and his eldest son, the future head, are- to put it mildly- not very bright... it's fortunate, then, that the second son Xingqiu has a good head on his shoulders.  

"Tomorrow, you should go straight to me instead," Xingqiu informs you cheerily, handing you a popsicle. Apparently, he keeps them around for his friend Chongyun, who's off to complete another exorcism. "I'll be sure to set everything in order." His eyes gleam. "And then, I can tell you the latest developments in 'A Legend of Sword'!"

• 5:00: Catch Xinyan's Concert!

Liyue's one and only rock musician isn't hard to find, thanks to the designated performance spots scattered around the city. You stop by at the raised platform where she's rocking out, where other people are listening as well. Xinyan strikes a peace sign in the air, and her vision glows with energy before the stage erupts with pillars of fire; her audience bursts into cheers and applause, and she's beaming as she leaps down to meet you. 

"Wait, seriously? You really changed up the rules a lil' so it'll be easier for me to hold concerts here?" Her eyes shine as they scan the papers- one of the many results of your work today in Yuehai. "Thank you so much! Wait-" she picks up her guitar again, giving it an experimental riff. "Let me think up a quick song for ya as thanks- I insist!"

• 6:00: Wangsheng Funeral Parlor 

Lately, you've been sent particularly determined requests from the other nations about allowing tourists to observe the ancient funeral rites. You already know the answer's gonna be a hard no, but the laws written by Rex Lapis state that you must check with the director anyway. She's not there when you arrive, so a consultant, Zhongli, brings you tea while you wait for her. You sit together in the fading sun, waiting for Hu Tao's familiar song to rise above the hill. 

Zhongli takes a quiet sip from his cup, closing his luminous eyes. "Although it was Rex Lapis who created the laws, they are not meant to be set in stone. Humans must revise the contract as they see fit, so that it will not erode with the passage of time." Something makes you feel as though it's more significant to him than you know. Then, he smiles slightly. "But, just looking at the people leading the way in his absence, like you... there's no need for me to worry."

• 8:00: Dinner; Request Chef Xiangling

The Wanmin Restaurant, run by Chef Mao and his daughter, is a breath of fresh air. While the rest of Liyue is divided between the "Li" and "Yue" styles of cooking, Xiangling pays the conflict no mind. Instead, she's not afraid to be daring and experiment, blazing ahead without worrying about what others think. You can see some similarities between her and Keqing, but it's best not to mention it after that disastrous banquet they organized together... 

"Had a rough day, didn't you?" Xiangling asks, her golden eyes twinkling as she hands you the steaming hot bowl. "Well, for you, I made sure to prepare your favorite dish! I hope you don't mind if I added a lizard or two this time- I'm kidding!" she adds quickly, upon seeing alarm flash across your face. 

• 9:00: Return Home

After everything that happened, you're eager to collect the reports from your subordinates and head home to draft new revisions for Tianquan Ningguang to look over (and then, hopefully, get some rest). But as you're walking on the path to your neighborhood, you spot a little girl sitting in the grass, clutching her head. Alarm rises in your chest as you rush over to see what's wrong, and why she's alone- only to realize with a start that she's the child that returned from the dead.  

"Thank you for taking Qiqi back to Bubu Pharmacy," she says, reading solemnly from her notebook (where the entire thank-you script is written). Even when you set her down, she's still reading the pieces of paper. "Will you tell Dr. Baizhu where I got lost? Please and thank you, again."

• 10:00: Sleep

In the end, you never did get to those revisions. You can hear your fellow Qixing scolding you in your head, but at least you got plenty of other things done; the well-oiled machine that is Liyue will still keep running on thanks to the tasks you accomplished today. Someday, even the adepti will have to acknowledge the ability of humans... you turn in your bed to feel the coolness of the other side. Speaking of adepti... the night air coming in... reminds you of... "Xiao..."

"I thought you were in danger," the adeptus huffs. The moment you said his name, you'd finally fallen asleep, but it still brought Xiao to you- balanced on the windowsill, hair waving in the breeze. "Still... I'm... glad that you're alright," he admits, glancing at you to make sure you're not awake to hear. "Rest well, bright star of Liyue." And then, with a sound like a sigh- or was it the wind?- he's gone.

[voidsbabe]

After we graduated (1)

Pairing: Stiles x female reader

Characters: Stiles, Scott, Lydia, Allison

Summary: Y/N is pregnant with Stiles’s child and they are all graduating. Stiles doesn’t know about Y/N’s pregnancy but he accidentally meets Y/N at the store 7 years later and finds out that she has a baby but no ring on her finger

Word count: 1,3k

Warnings: Please keep in mind that English isn’t my first language

Part 2

Masterlist

—————————-/

Graduation...it felt different. After everything that has happened, it made you feel like you were losing something very important. Your friends. They were everything to you and you were scared as much as Stiles that college is going to break your bond with everyone. You always knew this day would come and here we are. Standing next to each other. Graduating.

“So I guess this is it. We graduated.” says Scott smiling from ear to ear. Everyone nod and look at each other. “I’m gonna miss you guys” you say with eyes full of tears.

“Hey Y/N so when are you going to tell-” starts Allison, but you cover her mouth quickly.

You look about at other students standing near you to make sure Stiles isn’t there.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” says confused Scott looking at you and others.

“I’m going to tell you something but you can’t tell Stiles. You have to promise me that, otherwise I’m gonna haunt you and kill you without any hesitation.” you say deadly serious.

Everyone nod “promise”. You take a deep breath “I’m pregnant and it’s Stiles’s.”

All you can see on everyone's faces is a pure shock. Scott immediately spits his water. “YOU WHAT?” he almost yells in shock but you cover his mouth. “Shut up you idiot! Stiles can be here any minute.” you hiss into his ear. Turns out you were pretty close because Stiles shows up 2 minutes later smiling “Hey hey hey! We can’t be blue about graduating! We still have a long summer ahead of us.”

Indeed, you still had all summer, but you didn’t know how quickly it would end and before you could have even blinked…everything was gone.

7 years later

Living in New York City was always kinda your dream. After graduation, when summer came to an end, you went to Medical School in NYC and that was pretty much the last time you have seen everyone. As you feared, the pack kind of has fallen apart. I mean you still stayed in touch with Allison and Lydia but it wasn’t the same as in High School. You all were grown ups now, you had families and jobs. You really didn’t know how Stiles was doing. You haven’t officially broken up but after summer everything just finished. You were avoiding him due to your pregnancy. The whole pack was trying to convince you to tell Stiles that you are pregnant with his child but you knew that he would leave his internship in the FBI program to be with you and you just couldn’t do that to him. He always has dreamed of that and you felt like telling him would ruin everything so you kinda ghosted him.

After all these years you still remembered his smile and every touch.“Y/N?” You hear your name standing in front of the shelves with pastas. You blink absently.

“Stiles?” You say with a huge shock on your face. You smile a little. He changed. He doesn’t look like a teenager anymore. He’s grown up.

“Omg I haven’t seen you since our last summer as teenagers” says Stiles and rushes to hug you. You hug him tight while closing your eyes and suddenly you feel like everything’s back and you are a teenager again. You smell his cologne and realize that it hasn't changed. He still feels like home.

“Mommy, I couldn’t find my favorite cereal” you hear and immediately everything is gone. You look at your daughter who’s standing next to Stiles right now. She is just like you and him. All mixed up in that beautiful baby girl.

“It’s ok sweetie. I will help you in a minute”

You look at Stiles who looks like he got hit by a baseball bat.

“You have a child?” He asks surprised. You just nod. He turns to Claudia and smiles politely.

“Hi beautiful girl, I’m Stiles. I’m-“

“My mom’s best friend. I know. I’m familiar with you.” Says your daughter. You snicker a little. Yup, that’s definitely your child.

“Oh so you know me.” Says Stiles “let me help you to find your favorite cereal, ok?” Claudia nods and grabs Stiles’s hand just to drag him to the next alley with cereal. Stiles gives you the look which says we have to talk because I need to know everything. You go right behind them. Stiles finds Claudia’s favorite cereal and puts it in your cart.

“What would you say to grab a coffee and some ice cream for this beautiful lady? We could hang out just like we always did. Come on Y/N, I would like to know how’s your life going” says Stiles looking at you with those puppy eyes which unfortunately melts your heart right away. “Fine. One coffee for the old times.” Stiles smiles and grabs your daughter’s hand to take her for ice cream. You pay for your shopping and join Stiles and Claudia.

“So how’s the FBI?” you ask with a curiosity and twinkle in your eyes.

“Pretty good. I’m here in NYC , because I’m investigating the murder of Gianna Cortez but I’m pretty sure you are familliar with that case due to your job and curiosity so let’s move on and focus on you. Just you know, I can’t tell you much...otherwise my boss would kill me.” Stiles looks at you and winks “So who’s the lucky guy?”

You bite your lips “Well, the father is absent so It’s just me and Claudia”.

“I’m sorry to hear that Y/N, but Claudia is a really nice little girl and she seems so smart. I’m really proud of you because being a doctor and taking care of your child on your own has to be really hard and somehow you still manage to do this. That’s impressive.” says Stiles and hugs you. Luckily, Claudia jumps on his lap and distracts him. She also wants to be included in that conversation. Just like her Dad. Exactly like Stiles. You can’t notice how fast time flies with Stiles. Just like the old times. You smile a little and take Claudia from Stiles’s lap. “We have to go Stiles. Claudia’s bed time is soon and my shift is about to start in like 2 hours.” Stiles nods and pays for everything. You take sleepy Claudia to your arms and Stiles carries your shoppings to your car. You check your phone just to make sure that everything is ok and you won’t be late for your shift but something distracts your attention. “Shit” you murmur.

Stiles looks at you worried and confused. “Um, normally I don’t do this but my babysitter has just texted me that she can’t come and I can’t switch shifts. Would it be a problem if you took care of Claudia today? Please.” you ask him kindly. Stiles just smiles and nods his head “That won’t be a problem. Not at all.” You thank him and drive safely to your house.

---------------

“So I guess you know everything now. If anything would catch your attention just text me and I will try to get here as soon as possible.” You say and kiss Claudia’s forehead while talking to Stiles. “We will be fine. Don’t worry. I know how to take care of a child.” You nod and kiss Stiles on the cheek. Moments later, you leave them at home.

“So Claudia, where's your Daddy? Stiles asks curiously. Claudia looks at him with sadness in her eyes. “I don’t really know. Mommy told me that my dad was her first true love and that they knew each other from High School” says Claudia and shrugs.

“Wait so how old are you sweetie?” asks really confused Stiles.

“I’m six.”

Stiles’s jaw drops to the floor. This can’t be true. That can't be what I think...She cannot be my child, can she?

-------------------------------------------------

Hey guys! Thank you for reading ❤️ Hope you like it!! Ofc working on part 2.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Can I have a drabble with Thrawn ?

I was thinking about a scene, shortly after the death of the emperor and Vader and the death star explosion. He would summon Reader to tell her they are among the last authority figures of the empire alive and although he has everything under control, it will be difficult and he could really use an hand this time.

Bonus point if they hug.

Thank you Darling (may I call you that way?)

A/N: Okay, so we’re going Original Thrawn Trilogy canon with this. Let me see what I can do. And you absolutely can, if you like.

Also, this turned into a thing because I have no sense of control.

Word Count: 1.4 K

You kept your head high as you walked through the quieted hallways of The Chimaera.

Nobody could focus on their duties and none of the officers had it in them to give orders. The shock of information had dumbfounded the entire ship. The second Death Star was destroyed. Half of the Imperial Fleet was gone. The Emperor was dead.

The rebels had done it. It was the beginning of the end.

But, The Chimaera was still there and all waited on baited breath for their Grand Admiral's orders.

You tried to focus on your steps rather than the whirlwind of emotions threatening to drown you. You had always been sure of who you were and where you stood in the galaxy. You were Commander Y/N of the ISD Chimaera, second to Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Imperial Navy. But what did that mean, if the Empire ceased to exist?

You shook your head.

No. Empire or not, you were still a Commander. The Chimaera was still your ship and so long as it kept flying, that would never change.

With new found resolve, you quickened your pace stopping just in front of Grand Admiral Thrawn's office.

You knocked on the door and a moment later, it opened with a small hiss.

Upon entering, your eyes were drawn to the holo projection in the center of the room. It did not take you long to realize the calamity of the scene before you. The Battle of Endor in all it's fiery disaster.

Thrawn stood in petrified stillness, watching the holo in intense concentration; his glowing red eyes illuminated in the dim blue light.

You stepped forward, focusing your attention on the calmness of his form rather than chaos.

"Has the fleet regrouped?" you asked.

Thrawn turned his eyes toward you, refocusing to the present moment.

"No," he said. "This was sent to me from the Accuser, requesting assistance from all Commanders."

"Should I plot a course, sir?"

He shook his head. "No. We're too far out of range to provide any timely assistance. There are others on their way.”

You nodded, understanding the logic behind the statement. Still a question buzzed in your mind, one that was plaguing everyone on the ship: what do we do next?

You kept quiet all the same, knowing if Thrawn wanted to tell you, he would do so, in his own time.

Thrawn turned off the projector, allowing white lights to fill the darkened space. He then reached behind his desk and pulled out a crystal bottle filled with amber liquid and two glasses.

"Join me, Commander?" he asked.

It wasn't and order, which itself prompted it's own question.

"Depends on what we're drinking to, sir."

"To our fallen officers," he answered, pouring a healthy dose into each glass. "And to the new Empire which will rise from the ashes."

He held out the glass, which you took with caution.

"Implying the Empire has already fallen."

Thrawn raised an eyebrow. "Do you believe it will survive?"

You opened your mouth, with a ready yes on your lips, but stopped. Taking a moment, you looked down, examining the ridges of the glass in idle thought.

"No," you said, slowly. "If it was just the Death Star or just the Executor, that would be one thing. But the loss of both and the Emperor is too much. There is no central leadership, and will all the Navy's resources poured in the second Death Star, I doubt there is enough remaining to maintain control over the rebelling systems."

You looked up to meet Thrawn's approving eye at your assessment.

"Of course," you continued. "If there were someone to take control..."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Thrawn's lip as he bowed his head.

"You flatter me, Commander," he said. "However, how many of the remaining Admirals do you believe would willingly follow my orders?”

Your instinct was to say all of them, but again, you hesitated. As your superior officer, you had learned to trust Thrawn's command implicitly, but a quick review of your history reminded you of how rare that truly was. There was a reason the Emperor had left Thrawn to deal with the fringes of the Empire rather than involve him in Core politics.

Each and every Grand Admiral would see themselves as the successor to the Emperor's legacy, not the alien with nothing but rumors to uphold his reputation.

You let out a sigh. "None, I suppose."

He inclined his head in acknowledgment, just as he raised his glass.

"The Empire is gone," he said, solemnly. "Long live the Empire."

You each took a drink. The expensive liquid both burned and soothed your throat on its way down. It was an odd sensation, but one you hadn't realized you needed until that moment.

"I take it you have a plan," you said.

"The start of one," he assured, with just a hint of a smile. "In the mean time, we shall continue to maintain control of our own systems. Whatever resources available, we will refocus into our fleet. With any luck, others may join us, but we cannot rely on that fact."

You nodded, finally feeling as if your feet were starting to settle on solid ground.

"Shall I inform the crew?" you asked.

He shook is head. "I believe it would be best if they heard it from me."

There was a pause as you waited for him to dismiss you, but, no such order came. He just kept looking at you.

It was a familiar look, but one always caught out of the corner of your eye. The kind of look that left your heart racing and blood warm. Now, so clearly directed at you, it was hard to breath.

"Is there something else, sir," you prompted.

He blinked as if coming back to himself. "How long have we known each other, Commander?"

You frowned, slightly taken aback by the sudden change of subject.

"Ten years, more or less."

He nodded, setting down his drink as he did so. "I could tell you exactly; ten years, seven months, and twelve days. You were a Captain at the time."

The warmth in your cheeks spread, forcing you to put down your glass as well.

"And you were a Commander," you said, the memory coming back to you with the ease. "It has been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Yes." The word was spoken so softly, you almost wondered if someone else had said it.

Glancing up, you caught a strange gentleness in his expression. It only lasted a moment, but it was there all the same.

"You don't have to stay," he said.

You straightened in bewilderment. "Sir?"

"The reinstatement of the Empire is a task which will take years to complete," he continued, calmly. "It will take dedication and sacrifice. Only complete devotion will allow it to come to fruition. I plan to announce that any who wish to leave the service are free to do so and return home. Those who remain, will likely never see their home worlds again. It is not to be taken lightly, and I will not have anyone on my crew who doubts their resolve.”

He paused, just as a hint of emotion came into his voice.

“I would not force you to stay, if you do not wish it."

You stared at him, mouth gaping in wonder. Your answer came easily.

"I'm not leaving you, sir."

He blinked. Your stomach twisted.

You had said “you”; not the Chimaera, not the service, you.

You wanted to take back the words, but it was no use. You knew the truth and now so did he. You might be willing to give years of your life to the service, but you would give your entire self to Thrawn.

He watched you with an unreadable expression. Slowly, as if approaching a frightened animal, he walked out from behind his desk.

"I thank you, Commander," he murmered. "I admit, I hoped that would be your answer. I could not imagine the next few years without you with me."

Your breath hitched, just as he stopped only a foot from your body.

He had said "me".

Without a word, he reached out a hand and tenderly pressed it to your cheek.

His touch sunk into your skin making your melt into him. You placed your hand, over his, keeping it there. If this was your imagination, you needed to cling to if for as long as you were able.

He stepped closer, his glowing red eyes gazing into yours as the warmth of his breath brushed against your lips.

"There is something else I must ask of you," he whispered.

"Anything."

He leaned a hair closer, his nose brushing against your own. "May I kiss you, now?"

A small smile came to your lips. "You needn't ask."

With that permission, he pressed his lips to yours pulling you into a slow and passionate kiss.

The Emperor was dead. Long live the Emperor. And long live the one at his side.

[think-ill-watch-it-burn]

Aaaaaaaa another Konro fan!!! Pls can I request head canons for our boy realizing hes fallen for his crush and trying to court her? Ty!!

AAAAAHHHH HELLO!!!! Man I’mma be honest, I’ve tried really, *really* hard to simp for other characters, but I just… I can’t get past Konro 🥺

I mean… okay, that’s misleading. I absolutely 100% simp for just about every other character.

But, like a yo-yo, I keep coming back to that big ol’ beefcake 🥺😍

Sagamiya Konro

Realizing he’s fallen in love and courting you (Fem!Reader):

Oh Konro…. Poor bby, he’s such a mess. As hard as he actively fights it he just cannot suppress his romantic desires.

I mean, it’s relatively easy when you’ve lived in the same town, looking at the same faces, engaging in the same habits just about your whole life. I think he’s so accustomed to his little bubble, knowing where to go if he’s feeling frisky or restless, satisfying social needs harmlessly flirting with the same people he’s known for actual decades.

When someone new crosses his path and catches him off-guard, it’s a whole different story.

Initially he’s dismissive of his feelings, arguing it’s just the excitement of a new friend or simply refusing to acknowledge the shift altogether.

Then he’ll probably avoid - his thoughts, talking about it, probably even you altogether eventually. Or, at least, he’ll try to avoid you… well, he’ll tell himself he’s avoiding you. In reality, you’ve been seeing more of him than you probably ever have.

Then comes the fateful day - that dark moment when (he thinks) he catches you flirting with someone else. He records the scene in his mind like a video, replaying it over-and-over as he both winds himself up and tries to calm himself down. Beni, the twins, even some of the other Hikeshi are noticing that’s Konro’s been acting - just… fuckin’ weird.

Everything that feels right is telling him to follow his instinct and shoot his shot with you - but the unending aching of his back, his front, his heart and lungs; the shadow of death looming closer every day - how could he claim to care about you and subject you to that torment? But then the thought of you with someone else makes him want to raze what’s left of the earth to its core… so it’s a predicament.

If you’re willing to persist - knowing the very, very real possibility of losing him on any day, at any moment, understanding his limitations and legitimate fears - if he can convince himself you really do understand the risk and accept the consequences… eager isn’t even the word for what he feels.

In fact, he probably switches his energy expenditure from struggling to find a reason to get out of bed to resisting his dark urges and holding back two years of pent up, denied desires….

He can’t help chasing the butterflies when he sees you, the fire that bursts alive inside him when you touch in passing. He makes more and more excuses to be near you, or have you near him.

Despite his stoicism, he is not a patient man, especially knowing how little time he has to spare.

It isn’t long before his frustration gets the better of him, and one night when you’re alone and the moment seems to be hanging there, waiting, with a thundering heart and shaky hands he makes his move.

He’ll likely get swept up in the moment the first time around - he isn’t a young man anymore and this ain’t his first rodeo, in fact he was probably accustomed to whatever variety of satisfaction he was yearning for at arms reach before he closed himself off altogether - but quickly comes to his senses and realizes you deserve to be courted properly - if that’s what you want. No matter how hard it is to stop thinking about you naked on top of him every time he looks at your body.

In fact, he probably likes the tease - the buildup, the nights he spends with himself in-hand and images of you in his head, the anticipation of all the things he wants to try with you…

———

I hope this was what you were looking for sweet thing!! 🥰