#i cannot wait for my packer to arrive

[bornbutch]

butch lap makes for a pretty good seat just sayin

[rowdywarrior85]

STRANGER THINGS PRESENTS: 8/11, PART 1

[DISCLAIMER: This story in purely fan-fiction, meaning I own no rights to the show STRANGER THINGS, its episodes or characters. Basically, this story is my interpretation of the show, its episodes or characters. Forewarning, there will be descriptions of violence (sometimes graphic), adult content and language; if you have kids under 17 reading this story, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. Either way, hope you enjoy it.]

(We open to black.)

KALI (voice-over): Your mother sent you here for a reason, remember? We belong together. There’s nothing for you back there. They cannot save you, Jane.

EL (voice-over): No. But I can save them.

KALI (voice-over): Jane. JANE!!

(Smash open to a sunset looking over the city of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The theme song to LAVERNE & SHIRLEY starts up in the background. Snaps of beer breweries, cheese products and of course Packers fans. Camera then pans over an abandoned brewery, in one room Funshine tortures Axel over a game of chess with an episode of LAVERNE & SHIRLEY playing on the TV.)

FUNSHINE: Something on yo mind, brutha? Check.

(Funshine moves a bishop 2 steps forward.)

AXEL: Oh, I got alot on my mind, Funny. Mickie and Dottie are out getting grub, you’re kicking my ass in a child’s game, and our fearless leader is currently moping in her “penthouse” since “Shirley” fucking bailed on us.

FUNSHINE: Aight, A) Chess is a strategic game for all minds and all ages. And B) Jane obviously had her reasons, despite Kali’s feelings about it.

AXEL: Yeah, well, this strategic game is whuppin’ my goddamn aging brain.

(Funshine chuckles at Axel’s predicament, then looks up to the supervisor’s office up top. Inside, Kali is seen moping over a Polaroid picture she’s holding in her hand. The Polaroid consists of her and El/Jane smiling in the van, El/Jane with a warm smile and her arm draped around Kali and her lustful lip-lick. She turns to the radio with CALL ME by Blondie, then turns the dial to static. She then proceeds to close her eyes, holding the polaroid in her hand, concentrating on El/Jane. Camera cuts to a black space, the Void, she walks around until she hears gunshots and commotion coming from her right. As she closes in, she discovers it to be El/Jane watching an episode of MIAMI VICE with Mike. She then proceeds to observe them holding hands, kneeling close to El/Jane, looking to her with envy.)

KALI: (deep sigh) Lucky.

(Outside, the gang van pulls in. Funshine and Axel hear it outside.)

FUNSHINE: Soup’s on.

(Axel gets up to address the van.)

AXEL: You’re late, girls! Fuckin’ starving here!

(Inside the van, Mickie gives a vacant expression on her face.)

HELL-O!!!

FUNSHINE: Bad news, brutha. CHECKMATE, MUTHAFUCKA!!!

(Suddenly, a gunshot goes off, going through Mickie’s head, splattering her brain matter and blood across the inside of the windshield. A scream from Dottie is heard inside the van.)

FUNSHINE: Oh my God!

AXEL: HOLY SHIT!!

(Kali snaps out of her Void visit, puts the polaroid in her inner jacket pocket and bolts to the window. A thick, aged Russian voice barks from inside the van.)

RUSSIAN VOICE: My sincere apologies for intruding on your dinner plans, cossacks!

(A 60 year old, silver-haired and bearded, stocky Russian agent in a black suit strolls around from the back of the van. He has Dottie in tow as a human shield, with a standard issue Marakov handgun in his right hand pointed to her right temple, and his left hand tight on her left shoulder. Axel pulls out his .45 and points it at the uninvited guest, but Funshine motions him to be cool.)

I am simply here one reason. Your leader, a Hindu girl.

(Axel and Funshine look to each other. Suddenly, the intercom is activated from Kali’s suite.)

KALI: (over intercom) Who’s asking? And for the record, I’m British.

RUSSIAN AGENT: Oh, my apologies, devushka, I am Special Agent Ivan Perdovski, enforcer of Science Division of KGB. We’ve been looking for you for some time now. Rumors of people seeing things that are not there...

(As Ivan talks, a platoon of Russian soldiers along with Spetnaz commandos around the brewery.)

…a tunnel caving in at Pittsburgh,…

(Kali recalls doing that.)

…a former hospital orderly seeing old ghosts,…

(Kali recalls that, too.)

…and of course, a steel wall appearing in front of cops at abandoned factory in Chicago. Coincidence? I think not.

IVAN: Listen to me, comrades. We just want girl, give her to us, and we consider you all loose ends. But if I see something out of ordinary, you all die today.

AXEL: (laughing) “We”? I think you might be up in your age, “comrade”. Cuz the way I see it, it’s all of us and ONE… OF… YOU!!

(Ivan laughs at the gang.)

IVAN: (Russian) TAKE NO PRISONERS, I WANT THE GIRLS ALIVE AND UNHARMED!!!

(Soldiers and Spetnaz burst through the doors and windows. Axel and Funshine are shocked by the intrusion, as a hidden blade jets out of his left jacket sleeve and slits Dottie’s throat. Funshine is shocked even further, whilst Axel screams in agony.)

AXEL: DOTTIE, NO!!!!

(Blood pours from Dottie’s opened neck wound as she falls to the floor with hand to her neck, and ceases to move.)

YOU COMMIE FUCKERS!!!

(Axel fires his gun wildly, Ivan draws fire as he goes for cover.)

Get Kali and get the fuck outta here!!

(Funshine signals to Kali that need to roll out. A Spetnaz commando heads up to the upper level after Kali with Funshine following behind. The commando heads up to the Kali’s room, when he unexpectedly runs into a wall, the commando is perplexed and proceeds to turn around, only to be met by another wall. The walls begins to close in on the commando, he screams in Russian with floods of panic, only to be met by the force of Funshine’s right cross. The commando falls like a sack of potatoes, the walls simply disappear; Kali peers around the corner, wiping the blood off from her nose, smiling to Funshine as he squats next to the unconscious commando.)

KALI: Grab his weapons, Funshine. We’re clearly not safe here.

FUNSHINE: You don’t gotta ask me twice, K.

(Funshine grabs the commando’s AK/Grenade Launcher combo, a claymore mine and ammo. The two make their way to the exit, but are stopped by Ivan’s voice.)

IVAN: YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE YOUR REMAINING COMRADES BEHIND, WOULD YOU, DEVUSHKA!?!

(Kali motions to Funshine to stay by the exit while she peers over the door to the main loading dock. To her horror, she sees Axel on his knees with Ivan’s pistol pointed to his head, with the Red Army pointing their guns at her perspective door.)

IVAN: Drop your weapons and surrender the girl to me, calmly.

AXEL: (looks sharply to the door) FORGET ABOUT ME, KALI. YOU JUST GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! SAVE YOURSELF!!

IVAN: You have ten seconds to make up your mind, surrender yourself, and your friends will be spared.

(As Ivan counts down from 10, Kali looks to Funshine, who nods at her not to do it. By 7,Kali motions to Funshine to shut up while she uses her powers on the Red Army. By 5, she looks over, raises her hand up in her signature gesture.)

…4 …3 …2

AXEL: WE’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, KALI!!!

(With that, Ivan puts one between Axel’s eyes, Axel falls to his side lifeless, the Red Army opens fire as Kali pulls back and ducks.)

IVAN: (Russian) HOLD YOUR FIRE!!!

(Soldiers cease fire.)

I WANT THE GIRL ALIVE!!

(Kali sits by the door in disbelief, all but Funshine are killed as she holds back her sadness. Funshine grabs ahold of her.)

FUNSHINE: (whispering) There’s another exit out there, we can make it.

(They both look at each other in affirmation. As Ivan and his troops wait, a cloud of smoke jets out of the door. The soldiers ready their weapons.)

IVAN: (Russian) Wait!!

(The cloud envelops from the door to the exit left of the door. As Ivan looks in fascination, we see Kali using her abilities to generate an illusion of said cloud to cover herself and Funshine. Camera pans over to Ivan and his troops who see nothing but the cloud. As the cloud inches toward the exit, a timid soldier shoots at the exit causing her to stop yet she keeps the illusion. Ivan shoots and kills that soldier in frustration, Kali and Funshine continue to the exit, at the same time she looks on to her comrades. When they make it to the exit, Ivan looks her cloud with a light smile.)

IVAN: (chuckles, English) You can’t win, devushka. There’s nowhere you can’t go where we won’t find you.

(Kali then motions to Funshine to see a nearby forklift. Funshine takes note and shoots the propane tank on that forklift, detonating it to provide a distraction long enough for the two misfits to escape. While the soldiers recover from the disorientation of the explosion, Kali and Funshine make for a black Ford cruiser sandwiched between two army supply trucks. They both get in, Funshine hotwires the car to start, and both get the Hell outta Dodge. Ivan and the troops run outside to their vehicles.)

IVAN: (Russian) They made off with my car, we can track it! Kill the assailant, but I WANT THE GIRL ALIVE!!!

(Ivan gets into the passenger side of an army truck while the other one goes ahead. Kali and Funshine race through the city with the Russians in pursuit. A Milwaukee cops notices the Ford speeding by.)

COP: (grabbing the radio communicator) All units, all units. We got a black Ford cruiser blasting through downtown. Request backup, over.

COP #2: (over radio) 10-4. Backup arriving imminently, over.

(Five more squad cars join the pursuit.)

IVAN: (Russian) Local police. Let them pass. Trust me.

KALI: There’s a junction up ahead.

FUNSHINE: Gotcha.

(The Ford blasts through the junction with Russians and sirens in hot pursuit. Kali closes her eyes and raises her hand. The cops approach the junction, when suddenly, …)

KALI: Boom.

(…the middle of the junction starts caving in. Cops hit their brakes in a panic.)

IVAN: (Russian) All stop now!!

(The cops braking in the middle of the junction results in a horrific car accident from all directions. Ivan looks on in astonishment.)

She’s good, real good.

KALI: There’s a bus station three blocks from here, park one block before there.

(Funshine looks down and sees a node with a blinking red light, indicating a tracking beacon. He looks up modestly to the road with concern, then looks to Kali.)

FUNSHINE: Gotcha.

SPETNAZ DRIVER: (Russian) Tracker is still working. Target is making for the local bus station.

IVAN: (Russian) Good.

(Funshine parks the car one block away from the bus station.)

KALI: Right, let’s roll.

(Kali steps out of the car, then looks back at Funshine, who sits solemnly in the driver’s seat.)

Fun, what’s wrong?

FUNSHINE: Houston, we got a problem.

(Funshine points to the tracking beacon to Kali.)

KALI: Shit.

FUNSHINE: Yup.

KALI: Then, we need to go now. Ditch the car.

FUNSHINE: No, Kali. YOU need to go.

KALI: No. (sniffles) You’re not doing this to me.

FUNSHINE: They’ll find us wherever we go.

KALI: (voice breaking, tearfully) If you stay, they’ll kill you too. Then I’ll have nobody.

FUNSHINE: Bull. Shit.

(Points to her jacket, specifically where the polaroid of her and El/Jane)

KALI: Fun, I can’t face her after she…

FUNSHINE: She’s the only family you got. You don’t have to face her now, but when the time comes, you’ll have to. You two are gonna need each other, sooner or later. But for now, you need to get on out now. Take this,…

(He hands her a $100.)

…get on the first available bus. Go, and don’t ever look back. We’ll be with you always,…

(He then points to her heart.)

…right here.

(Kali shares a final tearful hug with his gentle, giant, muscle bound friend.)

Now, go on kid. Go, now!!

(As Kali makes a break for the bus station, Funshine takes the claymore, ties the tripwire around the handle on the door, and faces the claymore toward the door. Funshine then sees the Russian convoy surrounding him. Ivan motions one of his Spetnaz commandos to the car. Commando knocks on the window, Funshine acknowledges him. Commando then motions him to open his window, Funshine smiles and decides acknowledges him.)

FUNSHINE: Evening, officer. Is, uh, there a problem?

COMMANDO: Where is girl?

FUNSHINE: You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, sir. What girl?

COMMANDO: No bullshit. Where is special girl?

FUNSHINE: You know what, I’m afraid you just missed her. She showed me quite a time, if you boys got here sooner, she could spread some love for y’all red-necks. Know what I’m sayin?

(Commando growls at Funshine, then turns to Ivan. Ivan nods up to the commando, commando turns back to Funshine.)

COMMANDO: Step out of car, comrade.

FUNSHINE: Tell you what. Why don’t you be a pal and, uh… open the door for me. Think you can do that, “comrade”?

(Funshine then chuckles and takes his middle finger shows it to Ivan. Ivan looks at him sternly, but as the commando opens the door, he eyes widen.)

IVAN: NYET!!!

(But it was already too late, the commando swung open the door, triggering the claymore. The commando looks down in disbelief.)

COMMANDO: (Russian) Fuck me.

(BOOM!! The claymore takes Funshine, the commando and most of the troops. Ivan is blown back, but survived with a slight burn on the left side of his face, most of his hair gone. Camera cuts to the road floor, where an plastic orange bear mask is seen half burnt. The explosion was heard clear across to the city limits where a bus is leaving Milwaukee. All the patrons saw the explosion, including Kali who sits in the very back, she sits back down in tears, knowing the last of her crew is gone. Camera cuts to the front to front of the bus, then pans upwards to show the destination of the bus, “California”.)

BUS DRIVER: (over intercom) Alright, everybody. We’re all safe and sound now. Next stop, Sunny California.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[takemedancingmaine]

Brunch and Bonding

“Ruby!”

Liam called my name as soon as I opened the cafe door. I didn't even have a second to look around or judge how busy the place was. I was still half out of the building when I looked over and spotted him and Louis and Niall holding down a table for us.

“Hi!” I smiled wide at the sight of them and shrugged off my coat as I made my way over to the table they'd chosen. Louis has placed himself next to Liam, so I sat down next to Niall.

“Cleo is going to be a little late, but Ana and Harry are on their way,” Liam said as he passed me a menu. He had his glasses on again. I think he was starting to do it more now as a style choice rather than just always wearing contacts. They looked nice, despite the teasing Harry had done the first time he’d seen them.

I smiled at him in thanks and then looked from him to Louis, who had this ridiculous smug look pulled onto his face. I wanted to knock it off his face but I restrained myself. Barely.

“Did you have any trouble with the train?” Louis asked with a nod toward a couple at the counter of the cafe who were decked out in Cubs gear and were grabbing their coffees to go.

“The platform was miserable,” I shook my head at the thought of just how packed it was. Platform foot traffic was being controlled by police it was so bad. Hordes of people waiting for the elevator and what looked like a funnel effect of people trying to squeeze down the stairs made the trip up the stairs all the more horrific.

“If I didn’t love the Cubs so much… They’re playing the Red Sox today, and I kind of wanted to deck one of their fans,” I shrugged

It could be worse. I was getting on the train where everyone else was getting off. The train cars were relatively empty for me. For everyone else in either direction though, the cars were packed worse than they could get during rush hour and that probably explained why Cleo, Ana, and Harry weren’t here yet. Some trains didn’t even bother stopping at some of the stations because they were too full.

I reached across Niall to steal Louis’ orange juice and managed a sip before he yanked the glass from my hand as I was taking a second sip.

I got orange juice up my nose. Immediately, I started coughing and tried to cover my face with my hands as fast as possible.

“Oh, come on, Ruby! You’re in public,” Louis chastised me with a glint of humour in his eyes while Niall worked quickly to hand me his napkin that had been spread across his lap. Liam just giggled, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes popping out, very much used to mine and Louis’ endless banter.

“Thank you,” I said to Niall as I wiped the orange juice off my face and hand. I then swapped his dirty napkin for my clean one.

“No problem,” he said. He smiled and unfolded my clean napkin across his lap as I left his used one bunched on the table beside me.

“I can’t take you two anywhere,” Liam shook his head while using his teacher voice. Louis and I rolled our eyes together at him.

Niall laughed at that. “Two peas from the same pod,” he looked between me and Louis.

I shrugged and Louis raised his glass of orange juice to me in a mock toast before taking a sip. I flipped him the bird.

“So you’re a baseball fan then?” Niall asked me as Louis went back to his menu and Liam started typing on his phone that had chirped a few times throughout the ordeal.

“I’m a Cubs fan, yeah,” I nodded. “I didn’t pay attention to baseball at all until I got to college and went to baseball games, and Cleo’s a massive Cubs fan so I became one by association. Now that I’m here I’m always going. I never can watch it on TV though,” I explained. “I can sit all day and watch it when I’m in a stadium, but I get bored after five minutes if I’m watching on television.”

“It must be great then living that close to the stadium,” he said and took a drink from his mug. I couldn’t tell if it was coffee or tea. Although I had a suspicion he drank tea because of his European roots, he also struck me as someone that would drink multiple cups of coffee a day.

“I love it,” I told him and smiled, thinking about how much I loved Wrigley Field. It was like a second home. More often than not I’d go to games alone. Weeknight games and early in the day weekend games when my friends were busy… I’d just go, get a beer (for a jacked up price, to be fair), and sit and watch and relax. For me, baseball was about the atmosphere. I would breathe it in whenever I could.

“It’s the one sport I don’t understand,” he shook his head now. “I’ve been to a few games, but I just never really got it.”

I had to bite back my gasp. I couldn’t really be the one to say anything because I didn’t care about it for the first eighteen years of my life, but I also cared so much now that it was odd to me that he didn’t.

Louis gave Niall a look over his menu. I saw it because I had glanced at Louis when Niall said he didn’t understand baseball. Louis looked from Niall to me with amusement written all over his features. I quirked an eyebrow but Louis just shook his head. Niall, who’d been looking at his own menu, has missed mine and Louis’ silent exchange.

“Well, the Cubs have made the National League Championship series, and we might be going as a group to one of the games,” I said to Niall now. “So if that happens, you’ll have to pretend to enjoy it for a few hours.”

“Or I could pretend to be sick,” he smiled and then laughed when I gave him a look of surprise. “I’m totally kidding. Sitting out in the cold with my mates drinking pints is something I’m always up for, even if baseball is involved.”

“Good,” I gave him a look and he smiled at me, his blue eyes flashing with delight before we both turned back to our menus.

“Can I get you something to drink?” The waitress had come up beside me and scared me half to death. With the cafe being full of people I hadn’t heard her approach and suddenly she was speaking to me from less than a foot away.

Quickly I ordered a cup of green tea as my heart rate slowed back down. When the waitress walked away I could see Niall smirking as he looked studiously down at his menu and ignored my gaze.

Just as I was about to call him out for it, Harry sat down beside me with a bright green and yellow Packers jersey on over his sweater.

I just laughed at his audacity as everyone else looked up and noticed his and Ana’s arrival.  

“Before anyone says anything,” Ana said in a tired voice as she sat down next to Liam on the opposite side of the table, “I told him not to wear it.” She poured herself a glass of water and smiled at us all.

“They’re my team!” Harry defended himself as he leaned in and gave me a one armed hug. I hugged him back and fluffed his curly hair a bit before righting myself and handing him my menu. I’d made my choice.

“You’re from Ohio!” Liam groaned. “I cannot believe I have to be seen in public with you while you’re wearing that thing.” He was looked around us in hopes that no one in the cafe was giving us dirty looks for Harry’s attire choice. I doubted anyone here would say anything, but Liam’s cheeks flamed as he surveilled.

“No one in my family likes football,” Harry shrugged. “I just chose a team when I was younger and went with it.”

“We’ve heard all of your excuses before,” Louis waved his hand flippantly. “How was your dancing class?”

Harry’s cheeks turned the brightest shade of pink at the mention of the dancing class that he and Ana were in so that they could get ready for their wedding reception.

Harry was embarrassed, but Ana thought they were a good idea. Not just for their first dance--she knew Harry would be able to manage their first dance fine, it’s a basic step--but for the rest of the reception. Knowing Ana and Harry, they’d pick some absolutely ridiculous songs to play and Harry would undoubtedly show his true colours when they came on.

As a result of a few nights out, we all knew that Harry’s dancing fit into one of two categories. The first was dirty; he could be cheeky and crude despite his angelic looks. The second of which was much funnier: it was dad dancing. This second category included quite a bit of finger pointing and hip shimmying. He could make any night out entertaining for all of us no matter which category he was choosing his dance moves from at the time.  

Ana’s face took on a devious look though and as Harry hid his face in his hands she started to tell a story from their class. Liam and Louis leaned forward in anticipation.

“He was like a baby giraffe,” she laughed and I heard him groan from beside me.

I smirked and listened along with everyone else as the waitress came by and dropped off my tea. We all ordered food quickly--Liam telling us Cleo said not to wait last he had checked the group chat--and Ana went back into the story.

“So we’re alone in this studio waiting for everyone else in the class to show up--because in typical Harry fashion we’d gotten there awkwardly early--and I’m trying to act like everything is fine, but Harry is stood in front of the mirrors just pulling out all these old man dance moves and a group of firefighters all dressed up in their gear walks by the big glass windows in the back of the room and they start cheering him on and I’m mortified! But Harry here kept going. He was enjoying it!”

One glance at the man beside me shows me that he’s not enjoying the retelling, even if he did enjoy it at the time. We’re all in a fit of hysterics when Ana pulls out her phone and shows us some video evidence of the incident. I can feel my sides aching by the time our food arrives and we all settle down enough to eat and talk about the music trivia night Cleo had sent to us last night.

When she finally arrived, she looked radiant as she sat down beside Ana and settled into our conversation. Cleo had put makeup on and was wearing a sweater that I was positive covered up a cute blouse. She was wearing her cleanest pair of loafers and nicest pair of black skinny jeans.

She had a date later.

I raised my eyebrow at her as I took a sip of my newly refreshed tea. She gave me a smirk and a nod in return while she listened to Liam talk about plans for trivia night. It wasn’t for around three weeks, but if anyone knows anything about Liam it’s that he’s a planner.

So I was right. She did have a date after this.

It was when Liam was asking Niall a question about his music knowledge that my ears perked up.

“Basically anything after 1960 is fair game for me,” he answered Liam. “My dad was big on oldies when I was growing up, but me mum made sure to introduce me to anything that was big currently.”

“Niall was also a music minor,” Louis said before stuffing a bit of blueberry muffin into his mouth. He made a face before looking down at the muffin. I just knew he was thinking through the ingredients and trying to pinpoint the tastes he was experiencing. “He’s literally always listening to music or playing it. D’you still have your guitar?”

“I’m not always listening to it,” Niall blushed and hid his face for a moment behind his mug. “And yeah, I still have my guitar. Just use it for messing about though, nothing serious.”

“This is so good,” Louis looked down at the blueberry muffin he still had in his hand. Harry laughed at him.

“It’s literally all he thinks about,” Harry laughed more. Louis flipped him off, but he didn’t look quite so upset, just went back to eating and listening to Liam.

I turned to Niall. “What kind of music did your dad listen to?” I asked.

“Oh,” Niall smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “All sorts,�� he said. “We used to go on long drives and he’d always have a cassette tape playing.”

I laughed at that. “I remember my mom’s cassettes all over our car when I was younger, too.”

Niall brightened at that common ground between us. “We’d just go out and it might be five minutes or three hours to visit his family and we’d be singing along to The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. He loved Bruce Springsteen and Elton John. Billy Joel was big, too. But he had different stuff too, like Warren Zevon and even some boppy 80s stuff like Naked Eyes and all of the really big one hit wonder stuff from that era too.”

“He sounds a lot like my dad,” I told him with a soft smile. “When my dad came to the States he was young, and even though his parents tried to instil as much of their culture in him as they could, he found he could assimilate himself best, learn the language best, by listening to the popular music of the time.”

“Doing chores with my dad like washing the cars and cleaning out the garage meant we’d be listening to the Beatles and the big 70s and 80s rock bands,” I picked up my mug and held it in my hands, warming them. “He wanted us to know that he found himself in America with the help of the music that was popular when he was growing up. So even though he’d rather listen to oldies, he’d sometimes switch the radio to top 40 when we’d be driving to school.”

“Oh sick,” Niall turned a little bit more to face me. “What was your favourite?” he asked.

I thought for a moment, my face scrunching up as I tried to sort through memories and songs. In the span of a few seconds I had flashbacks of doing homework in my room as my dad did the dishes after dinner while listening to The Beatles and of my sister and I getting driven to school with The Who playing in the background or The Eagles playing while he read the newspaper in his office, the sounds floating under the closed door. I kept seeing memory after memory, hearing song after song.

“I don’t think I can choose,” I admitted. “It’s a cop-out, I know, but… When I hear a song from when I was growing up I just fill up with memories from when I first heard it. I mean, every time I hear Video Killed the Radio Star and Crocodile Rock I think of my sister and the two of us dancing in the back seat of the van we had. Each song is a memory. I couldn’t possibly choose.”

Niall doesn’t say anything for a long time. He stayed silent as he watched me, his eyes searching my face for something. He looked excited, but also curious. It gave me time to look him over for the first time during the meal.

His hair wasn’t styled up like it was all of the other times I'd seen him, rather it was kind of flopping into his face and he’d had to keep pushing it aside. He was wearing his glasses as well. These rounded tortoiseshell things that sat perched on his perfectly straight nose--not that I’d studied his profile or anything in the few times we’d been together. He didn’t look tired either, and I’d assumed he would be after moving time zones and going back to work full time. To put it simply, he looked good.

I refused to look at Louis after that thought crossed my mind. I knew he'd be able to read my face and I wasn't giving him the satisfaction of thinking he was right: he wasn't. I could think that Niall looked good. It didn't mean anything.

“How is it that you just described my thoughts on music exactly?” he asked finally. His voice was soft, almost as if he spoke louder it might disturb whatever he was thinking about, and his eyes were wide with what I assumed was amazement.

I shook my head and took a breath.

“I don't know,” I told him truthfully.

“Isn't it crazy how music can do that, though?”

He looks so into the conversation, so passionate about music and our similar experiences with it. My mind kept rolling and rolling over the fact that we'd had completely different upbringings and yet here we were sitting beside each other in a cafe in Chicago discussing how similar we were at the same time.

“I guess what they say is true,” he said now, his voice conveying the amazement. “Music really is a universal language.”

“It must be.”

“What are we doing here?”

Eventually, Cleo had left to go to her date--which she had promised to tell us all about--so the six of us had decided that we’d just wander around the Magnificent Mile shops before heading our separate ways. Liam and Louis wanted to go to TopShop because they think they are hip and cool, and Ana and I were excited because it was right next to a chocolate shop where they were always giving out free samples.

Harry and Niall were hanging back from the group. They'd done a quick walk around the shop with Liam and Louis, neither of them having found anything. They then left them to their shopping and had come to find me and Ana. The two of us had just gotten our free samples and were meandering around the store when Harry and Niall came up behind us.

Ana rolled her eyes at Harry and shrugged.

“We are looking at all the things I would be indulging in if I didn't have to get fitted for a wedding dress in the very near future.”

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

“You're perfect no matter what,” he said to her and she leaned back into him.

It was adorable to watch as they interacted, but I felt like I was watching something very personal and so I took a step back away from them, continuing to browse as if I would ever buy anything here.

Niall must’ve had the same idea about Ana and Harry and I felt him step up beside me.

He was close enough that I could smell him despite the overwhelming smell of chocolate products, a clean a mix of laundry detergent and whatever cologne he’d put on before he came out for brunch. I tried not to think too much about getting closer and having that scent drag me down.

It should be noted that Niall was currently donning a jean jacket to fight off the chill that had descended once the clouds came out and a wide brim hat, the latter of which explained his hair being much more floppy than usual before. The hat sat right above his ears and just covered his hairline.

It should have looked ridiculous.

It didn’t.

“D’you want my sample?” he asked now as he held up the chocolate to me.

“You don’t want it?” I asked.

“I can’t,” he shook his head, an almost longing look on his face. “I can’t have dairy.”

“You’re lactose intolerant?”

“I think I might be,” he nodded. “Dairy gives me acid reflux, so I stay away from it.”

“Well in that case,” I held my hand out and he placed his chocolate in my hand beside the one I already had. “If I’m helping you out I suppose I can look at it as a good deed.”

He laughed at that. I smiled at his laugh as I slipped both sweets into my coat pocket for later.

“You know one tiny piece of chocolate probably wouldn't kill you,” I said now.

He nodded. “Yeah, I know. But if I start cheating here and there then I'll open myself up to bigger cheats and then I'll be right back where I started.”

“Once you're in you're all in?”

“Oh, it's horrible,” he smiled. “First it's a seemingly harmless chocolate square, then it's some whole milk in my coffee, and then I'll be eating yoghurt and cheese quesadillas and doubled over in pain while desperately chugging down some antacids.”

“Vivid.”

“Thank you,” he gave me a smirk.

“So you drink coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“Not tea?”

“I only started drinking coffee when I was twenty-six,” he said. “I held out with tea for as long as I could but once I started on coffee I couldn't go back.”

“It’s so bitter,” I picked up a candy bar and looked at the nutrition facts on the back. I felt my eyes widen as I looked and then I gently placed the candy bar back down.

“I've gotten used to it,” he shrugged. “I only drink it for the caffeine and since I figured out my lactose thing I've started drinking black coffee.”

“You don't even put sugar in it, do you?”

He shook his head.

“Ew,” I made a face.

He laughed but shrugged off my disgust. “There are worse things.”

“Like getting orange juice up your nose because your friend is an insolent child?” I asked.

He wanted to laugh again, I could tell. He held back though.

“Well to be fair you did steal it,” he said.

I gasped. “You're on his side, then?”

“No no no,” he shook his head. “No, I was just presenting the other side of the argument. Making it a fair representation.”

I narrowed my eyes at him but don't say anything. A giggle did end up escaping him but he quickly moulded his face back to neutral before I turned to look.

I found myself throughout the morning enjoying multiple things about Niall.

The first of which was his laugh. Niall laughed loudly and without any inhibitions. He really didn't care who heard. He would throw his head back and close his eyes and just laugh. I'd never met someone who was so bright.

The second was his voice. I’d been around people from all over, grown up with parents that had accents thicker than curry paste itself, but something about Niall’s voice… his cadence and his timbre were all together working to draw me in.

I could quite literally listen to him talk for ages and not get tired of it. Even if he read me the Encyclopedia. I wouldn't get bored. I didn't think any deeper than that, just kept my liking his voice surface level.

“What I don't get,” Niall said now, “is why you didn't just order your own orange juice when you had the chance.”

I laughed. “I don't drink it. I just did it to get under Louis’ skin.”

“You don't drink orange juice?” Niall gave me a look.

“Growing up my parents never let us have juice; they weren't fans of the sugar in it and I just never buy it now. I don't know, I just never felt the need or the want to buy it.”

“You're weird,” he said finally.

I shoved his shoulder, but I didn't take any offence at his words. I got so much crap from my friends for my eating habits, Cleo especially, that I wasn't bothered.

He gave me a smile as we waited for Harry to get his hot chocolate and then we waited outside for Liam and Louis. They each had shopping bags hanging from their hands when they did eventually come up to us.

“Time do you call this?” Ana made a big show of looking at her watch. Liam and Louis started defending themselves, but we all know that they're massive divas about clothes and fashion and that they definitely did not cut their trip short, even knowing that we were waiting for them.

“Get yourself another jean jacket then?” I asked Louis.

“Oh, come off it, I've only got two,” he glared.

“Oh yeah?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Fine. I've got three.”

“There it is. There's the truth,” I nudged him. He just glared at me some more.

“Well,” Ana sighed. “We’ve got to get home. Someone decided to make dinner last night and the mess has yet to be cleaned up. It's literally overtaking the whole apartment.”

“Yeah,” Liam nodded. “I've got an apartment showing later on that I've got to be ready for.”

“You and your side hustle,” Louis shook his head.

Liam had a real estate license and if he had spare time over the weekend when he wasn't working on lesson plans and grading papers, he would do showings, trying to make a bit of extra money. He invested everything, too. Liam was very big on planning ahead--the most recent example being the planning of our trivia night tactics.

“This is a nice apartment,” he said. “If I get the commission I'm finally going to buy a condo instead of renting.”

“Ayyy,” Harry hollered.

“Congratulations,” I jumped up.

“It's all dependent on if I get this sale, but I'm pretty stoked,” Liam beamed back at us all. “I've been looking at places for a few months now.”

“Good luck to you then, Liam,” Ana reached over and hugged him.

“I'll see you guys later then,” Louis nodded. He gave us each a hug and then gave me a pointed look before looking at Niall. He was very conspicuous about it. If Niall has been paying any attention to either of us, he would've definitely seen it. I flicked his ear and he just shrugged it off before walking off with a self-satisfied smile.

“You going to the train?” I asked Niall.

“I am.”

“Well then let's go,” I nodded toward where the station was a few blocks over.

We said our goodbyes the rest of the group and walked off together.

“So what's the deal with the hat?”

“It's because of the hair,” he reached up and adjusted his hat just a bit. “I didn't do anything with it today, so I just shoved a hat on before leaving my flat.”

“I thought your hair looked fine before.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It looked floofy.”

“Floofy?” He looked over and raised his eyebrow at me, it just about touched the brim of his hat.

“Floofy.”

“Is that good or bad?” He asked.

“Good,” I nodded. “It looked good.”

“I think it's getting too long,” he shook his head, dodging someone on a bike. Because some people like to pretend they're allowed to ride bikes on the sidewalk. Those people suck.

“I think you're worried over nothing,” I said.

“Probably,” he shrugged. “You don’t think the hat is dumb, though?”

“No,” I said. “I actually keep thinking it really shouldn’t work, but somehow it does.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment as well then.”

“It was one.”

We walked together in silence for a while until we got to the station. It was a comfortable silence. Niall beside me was a welcome presence and I was trying not to think about the fact that I could still smell him with each light breeze that blew past us. That clean smell mixed with whatever his cologne was was doing something to my senses. I ignored it. Or tried to.

“Oh,” I said once we got onto the platform, the wind sharper up here, the clouds seemingly more ominous. “How’s the new job?”

His face lit up. A thrill ran down my spine at the sight of his smile, his whole demeanour brightening.

“I love it,” he said now, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets.

“That’s brilliant!”

“I’m genuinely so happy there,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another, swaying a bit. “It’s like… I spent so long working such crappy jobs and I’ve got all this experience and knowledge and now I’ve got a job with people who seem nice enough and I’m back in Chicago. I’m doing the work I like. Everything seems like it’s falling into place and I’m just really happy with my job.”

“What’s your favourite part?”

“We have this break room, right?” He started as the train came rolling up. “It’s got a coffee machine, one of those pod ones, and a kettle for tea or whatever. The room is filled with all these fun colours and comfy chairs and books that just look so worn down and generously read and loved and I really just want to hole up in there with one of the books and a cup of coffee and just read and relax. The fact that I can relax at work, have a space to do that… It feels really good.”

“I’m really glad you’re enjoying it,” I told him. “It must be nice to be back here and have finally gotten a real job.”

“It’s been pretty great,” he nodded.

We sat down beside each other on the packed train car and eyed up the man who was in charge of three young girls sitting across from us. The man looked miserable, and the girls were using the bars a bit like a jungle gym. The man didn’t even bother to corral the girls, just looked on helplessly as they swung back and forth.

I smirked at Niall and he gave me the same look back and bumped his knee against mine.

“Have you got the song queued up?” he asked.

“Oh shirt!” I said pulling my phone out of my pocket quickly and slipping the head buds out, handing one to Niall and taking one for myself.

“Nice,” he smiled at me and we just sat there for a moment before the voiceover announced Fullerton as the next stop.

“Here we go,” I clicked play and for the next two minutes and forty seconds we sat together listening to the song. Occasionally, Niall’s knee would bump into mine and each time it happened, I’d blush and run a hand through my hair.

By the time the song ended and we arrived at Fullerton I was really rather red in the face, even with my darker complexion I was sure Niall noticed as he bid me farewell and stepped off the train.

Once he’d stepped off he threw me one last look over his shoulder and I waved, giving him a smile back before the train doors closed and I was carried off toward home where I knew I had grocery shopping and cleaning to do.

[skyttewalker7-blog]

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[shaynanabroad]

ONE suitcase, FOUR months

It does not feel real that in two days I’m going to board a plane for Sweden, where I will be living for the next four months. I’ve spent so much time thinking and talking about my future plans to study abroad but have not taken the time to let it sink in that these plans are no longer for the distant future. Everyone I know that’s studied abroad has told me to go in with an open mind and try to leave all expectations behind. I’ve tried to take this advice, but have discovered that “having no expectations” is just about impossible.

Already, before I’ve even left home, my experience is different than I expected. Subconsciously, I thought that by the time I was packing to leave, I would in some way feel ready to go. I don’t feel prepared to go at all. And not just in the physical sense of packing my bags. My main sense of lacking preparedness is emotional. I think it's going to take a while before I truly comprehend that I am going to be living in Sweden for the semester and not returning to Villanova’s campus to be with all my friends. Once I’ve been in Sweden for a few weeks, I’ll surely realize that I’m not just on vacation, but immersed in a new chapter of my life, thousands of miles away from my beloved family, friends and campus. I just looked it up, I’m going to be 4,004 miles away from Villanova.

I’m sure I’ll have amazing experiences abroad, but right now, I can’t help but feel like a freshman all over again. Packing up and moving away from the life and place I know, to go somewhere far away from home. I don’t know the local customs and I’m convinced I’ll stick out as different. I wonder if I’m going to be accepted and liked by the people around me. I’ve never had a problem making friends, and if studying abroad is anything like my freshman year, I am in for the time of my life. But, despite everything in the past having worked out, I still feel nervous and a bit anxious. Maybe this is why I haven’t felt ready to go. Until now, I haven’t taken the time to sit down and really absorb the fact that I’m leaving very soon because I’m trying to put off feeling anxious. Like any good psychology student, I know avoiding thinking about a situation that makes me feel nervous isn’t the best coping mechanism, but I’d really rather just pretend I’m not nervous until I’m there and my only choice is to embrace the new experience and all of its surprises and obstacles...right?

So far this post has been fairly morbid, but I promise I’m usually really upbeat and positive. In fact, my core course while studying abroad is Positive Psychology. Since reading the syllabus for this class, I’ve been super excited to get started. Wow that sounded so nerdy. But seriously, I frequently recent so many cheesy cliches such as “look on the bright side,” “every cloud has a silver lining” and my personal favorite, “a positive attitude is everything.” I cannot wait to dive head first into learning about research regarding positivity! Speaking of expectations, I hope mine aren’t too high in thinking this class is going to be life changing!

Now that I’ve done a bit of ranting about how I feel, I’d like to give this post some semblance of structure and talk a bit about my preparations for leaving for Sweden and how I made the decision to study abroad in Stockholm through DIS….

On Packing: Packing is a pain in the butt! At least if you’re like me and very unorganized, both mentally and in terms of your belongings being scattered all over the house. I’ve spent the past few days rearranging miscellaneous clothes into piles of must-brings, maybes and leave-at-homes. Unfortunately, the more I go through the piles, the more maybes I move into the must-bring pile.

Arriving in Sweden mid-January will surely require warm clothes: boots, wool socks, sweaters, thermals, etc. I also have to consider my core course week in Athens Greece(!!!), which I imagine will be warm (or, at least, warmer). I keep telling myself I’m going to pack “light,” but as a classic over-packer about to embark on my experience living outside of the US, I am starting to get worried about whether or not I’ll be able to zip my overstuffed suitcase shut. As I add the four pairs of shoes I’ve determined to be essential, I’m envisioning my little sister sitting on my suitcase as I try to zip it up.

I find myself trying to pack for any possible scenario that could arise, but am starting to realize it may be impossible to fit all necessary outfits for “any possible scenario” into one suitcase. Logically, I know it is unlikely that I’ll need both my Villanova National Championship T-shirt from 2016 and my Villanova National Championship T-shirt from 2018, but I caught myself deeming both as “must-brings.”

As much as I feel unorganized in my packing, in reality, I imagine I’m using this time feeling indecisive over T-shirts as a way to try to collect my thoughts and wrap my brain around the idea that in 48 short hours I will be kissing my family goodbye, or rather hej då (I’d better get used to integrating some Swedish phrases into my vocabulary) and boarding a flight to Stockholm. Today I packed a “trial” suitcase with the pile of clothes I’d deemed essentials, just to make sure everything would fit. And to my surprise, and delight, it did!  I’m sure there are a few last minute things I will think of to add to my suitcase, but for now I am feeling quite accomplished and just a little bit more ready for the journey ahead of me.

WHY I chose DIS Stockholm for my Study Abroad Experience: I’ve spent the past few years of college assuming I’d be studying abroad in Spain, as I was an aspiring Spanish major, but after some soul searching, I decided this summer to reduce my Spanish major to a minor and focus on studying Psychology. With Spain no longer my only option for studying abroad, I was initially overwhelmed with the task of deciding where in the world to study.

One of my self-described greatest strengths, my open mindedness, consequently can have another side to it. I am incredibly indecisive. The idea of choosing one country in which to have the amazing experience of studying abroad, out of the hundreds of beautiful options seemed impossible, so I set up a meeting with my study abroad advisor. To my surprise, the first piece of advise my advisor gave me was to forget about what country I’d be studying abroad in and to think about my expectations for my study abroad experience. This felt much more manageable to me. I prepared a list for our next meeting:

Homestay option

Speak either English (preferred) or Spanish (I could get by but I’m self-conscious about my ability to conjugate verbs)

Warm weather!

In Europe -- I want to do some country hopping!

Psychology classes Villanova does not offer

My advisor referred me to a few different programs he has had experience sending students to in the past that he felt were good options for me, located in various cities (Vienna, Stockholm, Amsterdam, Salamanca and Copenhagen). He sent me off with the task of researching these programs and coming back to him to discuss these options the following week.

When I returned to his office a week later, I was firmly leaning towards Stockholm because the program seemed to fulfill all of my requirements sans the warm weather. Most importantly, the DIS website was plentiful with information and, as someone inexperienced in travelling and nervous about what to expect, the easy access information on the DIS website eased some of my anxieties and offered a realistic preview of what to expect in their program. The inclusion of some of the less than desirable aspects of the study abroad experience, like to expect culture shock and a commute time of up to an hour, in the info provided by DIS made their website feel more reliable than the websites of other study abroad companies that I felt were holding info back and had the vibes of a sales pitch.

About two weeks ago, I felt reassured that I’d made the right decision about where to study abroad when I got my first email from my Swedish host family introducing themselves to me and sharing their excitement about having me come to live with them. I am sure my decision to live in a homestay will come with its share of challenges, but I was thrilled to find out that I will have 3 younger sibling in my host home and will only have to travel 35 mins to get from their home to DIS. I am sure I will reflect on my homestay experience quite a bit in my upcoming posts. I cannot wait to get there and meet them, but I am also starting to question my ability to finish packing ONE suitcase for the next FOUR months.

That being said, I really should get back to packing!

Until next time,

Shaynan

[cantabrigian-blog]

Tamales 2020

Like most people, I resisted the urge to travel this holiday season. It’s been a year since I’ve seen my family. After teaching online, those missed points of contact have been hardest to bear. The vaccine is on the horizon and I cannot wait to get on a plane and ship myself to California. 

For now, this Catabrigian is doing her part by staying put. No Christmas with my family - first time in my life. (Sad face emoji here.) A small sacrifice compared to what others have lost and endured. I realize that this was not only trying for me, but for my parents, as well, who haven’t left the house much since March. They were hoping we could all make tamales at the same time on Zoom. I could not, for work *reasons* I won’t go in to. But I pulled it together on Christmas Eve. 

My parents had sent me a box of essential tamale ingredients. The box had not arrived, due to USPS overwhelm because of...(fill-in-the-blank) holiday commerce/ an unpleasant, Trump-appointed, Postmaster General/alternative shipping already slotted to deliver vaccines. The box would arrive later on Christmas Eve. Luckily I had squirreled away enough chiles to get started. I am my father’s daughter. And, as he assured me on FaceTime the previous night, the single package of old ojas I found could definitely be revived with a little soak.

It turns out that making tamales is “in the blood.” I had never done the entire circuit, though I had been consulted often in recent years and involved in hundreds of discussions about all aspects of preparation, including tamale math - ratios and tamale count estimates. Very important when making a big batch.

Spoiler...I made eighteen. Here’s how I did it.

The Soak

I remember a large metal wash tub, with uncles sitting around it, carefully removing the red silk from the corn husks as they gradually softened. In LA, you hope for a warm sunny day for this. It is either an entry level position (ask my husband) or where senior tamale-makers chillax with a cold beer. 

With the snow in the background, it may not look warm enough to set this up outside. But it was well above freezing and the pandemic has made me more tolerant of spending time outside in the cold. The ojas you buy now are way cleaner; there were minimal silk threads to remove.

Make the Chile

Years ago I was promoted to making the sauce to accompany the tamales. My brother calls it “top sauce.” It took a while for my dad and uncle to accept my method, which is a topic for a different post. Let’s just say that they went from cringe to craving. My late aunt always made a big fuss about my sauce, which encouraged me, and I eventually won them over. Now it’s part of the routine.

Making the chile sauce was fun. I used a bag of chiles negros and a bag of chiles pasillas. I also knew that if the tamales never got finished, I could use the sauce for many other things. 

The Meat

I had simmered a pork butt the night before and let it cool in the broth. Doesn’t it look good? I went heavy on the aromatics - garlic, bay, peppercorns.

I was super happy with how the sauce tasted. It isn’t normally the part of the tamale that is the tastiest before assembly. This was delectable. No “top sauce” needed.

Mix the Masa

This was familiar territory for me. My first real tamale-making job was to mix the masa. What you see in the photo is a fraction of what a usual batch is like. Pounds and pounds of fresh masa must be mixed with a little warm salt water and a lot of hot melted lard. How much? I cannot say. I have a literal feel for when it is ready, earned from hours of upper arm labor and evolving texture, ending with my dad’s inspection and pronouncement of, “It’s good.”

Spread

This is typically the social part of the process. It requires that you invite everyone you know who is available and interested to come and help that day. You sit around a table covered by a plastic tablecloth with people you have never met. You get a short lesson on how to spread the prepared masa on corn husks. You are given a butter knife, as if this were a peanut butter sandwich, but it isn’t. You look around to see what everyone else is doing. Is this okay, you ask? Someone will give you feedback early, if you are lucky. Sometimes your specific work is sent back and you are called out by the grumbling packers (see below). In return, you get ice cold beers and tamales for lunch. The tamales are so good that you swap contact info with the other spreaders and promise to come back and help next year. 

I found this step the hardest this year. Not only have I grown impatient with it over the years, but I was all alone. No helpers. So I FaceTimed my best friend in Austria who was preparing Christmas Eve dinner and chatted with her for a bit. I also called my mom and dad, to report on my progress. The small talk helped.

Pack

I’d actually never done this part myself. The packers stand around an enormous pot of meat and sauce, perched on a high stool. Packing tamales is the perfect use for a kitchen island. I stood solo at my stove. I need not have worried. This part was pretty easy, since there were only 18. Count ‘em.

Taste and Critique

When the tamales had steamed for roughly an hour, it was time to taste. They looked good, they smelled good, but how would they compare? I lifted one out of the pot, placed it on a plate, and carefully opened the husk. The husk rolled away from the masa. Check! I took a steamy bite. The meat was even better nestled in the corn husk. Double check! The masa, which was finer than the fresh grind masa for “tamal,” was perfectly salted. Triple check!

Like others in our family, I needed broader feedback. I texted Meredith, my college roommate and the one person I’ve seen regularly since the pandemic started. “Are you hungry?” Luckily she was nearby on a walk and came right over. Meredith is a Texan, so she could be relied upon to give a proper review. Her late mother, she told me, was obsessed with finding the perfect tamale. I wasn’t sure what that meant - there are so many variations of tamales from different regions of Mexico. When Meredith tasted the tamale, she pronounced it “quintessential.” Turns out her mom had favored Tamales Norteños, meat tamales made with salsa colorado, just like these - thin layer of masa, lots of meat, a little spicy. She ate two.

No one ever sets out to make sweet tamales. It’s what you make with the leftovers. As usual, this time there were extra ojas. Since I used masa seca, I had plenty left so I whipped up some more for a batch of sweet tamales. Here are the other ingredients and enough of the directions to remind me how to make them next year:

1 stick of butter, melted

1 cup of shortening, melted, plus more, as needed

2 tbsp. rum

1 cup of raisins

1 cup of chopped fresh pineapple

2 cups masa seca

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 tbsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. salt

1 1/4 cup water

ojas

Combine the fruit, butter, shortening  and rum in a small saucepan. Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add water to the bowl to make the masa seca into a stiff dough. Pour the contents of the saucepan into the bowl and knead to make a fluffy dough. Fill the ojas, fold and steam.

I’ll remember Christmas 2020 as the one I missed, that I “got through.” But I’ll also remember it as the time I participated in a family tradition from afar. I most enjoyed giving the tamales away, and if I ever make them here in Cambridge again I will make more and give away more. 

[re-pave]

The Physics of Forbidden Love

“You can blame it all on Percocet.

I was three days post-hysterectomy and a little loopy on painkillers. After five years of weekly testosterone injections, the canal (I can’t stand calling it a vagina, much less referring to it as “my”) had atrophied to near nonexistence. This made surgery difficult; I tore. The pain was bad enough. The fact that it was in an area of my body I had tried to ignore made me feel even worse. I had been treating the ache with Percocet, at the cost of my lucidity. 

In a minor delirium, I developed a sudden need to tell a charismatic acquaintance — a girl from India in my physics class — just how beautiful and funny she was. It was winter break, and I was at home in Wisconsin, while she had remained in San Antonio, where we went to school. So I decided to send her a quick message. I ended up writing her a rambling letter. 

“Hey,” I began, “you have cow eyes. I know that sounds like a bad thing but have you ever looked into a cow’s eyes? They are so deep and brown and beautiful. I’ve looked into a lot a cow eyes because I’m from Wisconsin.” After ruminating for another paragraph about cows and eyes, I wrote about how, when I squinted at the back of her head during physics, it looked as though the kinematic equations on the whiteboard were growing out of her hair. Finally, mercifully, I concluded by asking if she wanted to get together after the break.

The next day, looking for her response, I found my letter as a new email in my own inbox. In my stupor, I had sent it not to her but to myself. I didn’t try to resend it. But when I saw her back at school, I couldn’t resist telling the story of my misdirected, narcotics-fueled message. She laughed, then asked what surgery I’d had to get me on painkillers.

“That’s top secret,” I said. “You need security clearance. I’m going to need fingerprint scans, and your phone number.” She gave me her number. But I didn’t give her security clearance. No one at school knew I was transgender. I had transitioned at 15 and arrived at college with no intention of discussing my unusual childhood with my peers. So far I had managed all right, but now, that intention was on a collision course with my dating prospects. The more she and I flirted, the more I realized how unprepared I was to explain my history. Should I tell her bluntly or start from the beginning? What if she was angry, or told the whole school? Listening to a friend boast of a recent hookup, I felt a bitter envy; how simple it must be to have a body that makes sense, that needs no explanation.

After a few dates, I sat her down in the ornithology lab where I worked and tried to explain. Since she is pre-med, like me, I figured the simplest explanation was the medical one; how at the start of high school, after years of feeling like a boy trapped in a girl’s skin, I was told by my doctor that I had gender dysphoria, the product of a mismatch between body and brain. Although I tried to maintain a confident tone, I grew flushed and hot before I even managed to say the word “transgender,” and my voice grew so quiet that her growling stomach nearly drowned me out. When I was finished she sat very still, the only sound a whirring centrifuge, in the other room. I waited for her to get up and leave. She didn’t. 

Taking my hand, she said, “I had no idea.” 

In the flood of relief, I also felt a twinge of irritation. Of course she had no idea. I’m almost six feet tall, with a full beard and an Adam’s apple that had once poked a girlfriend in the eye. What would have tipped her off?

“I don’t really care, I think,” she continued. 

“Just tell me if I say something stupid, O.K.? I don’t know a lot about it. I don’t know anything, actually.”

For the next week, everything was fine. I was her first kiss. She fed me my first tikhi puri. Then one night, as we sat in her car, I learned that the biggest impediment to our relationship wasn’t that I was a boy with two X chromosomes, but something much more commonplace: my heritage. Her parents, who had immigrated to Texas from India when she was 5, feared that their culture would be diluted and lost in America, so she was forbidden from dating anyone who was not Indian. With my Midwest accent, ratty Packers sweater and frozen-tilapia complexion, I was the antithesis of the son-in-law they hoped for. She hadn’t told them about me and didn’t know if she ever would. A more painful breakup later on seemed inevitable, so we agreed to stop seeing each other. 

I hoped that the rationality of the decision would offer comfort. It didn’t. Soon enough, though, we drifted back to sitting with each other in physics. There, during a demonstration of magnetism, our professor pulled apart two neodymium discs, only to see them slide back together when she laid them on the table. We watched, took notes and imitated. Within a week, she was back in my bed. It wasn’t a decision, it was physics. Opposites doing what opposites do. After the first few days, when all I could think was how stupid we were being, our relationship had evolved into a surprisingly functional one, though with a few limitations. I couldn’t post photos of us together online, or talk in the background while she spoke to her parents on the phone. Once she had to accessorize her temple apparel — a colorful, traditional kurti — with an oatmeal-like woolen scarf to cover the hickeys I had carelessly left the night before. We went on muck-collecting expeditions to find anaerobic bacteria for her microbiology class. I found a way onto the roof of the student center, where we would go to look at the stars. At first I made jokes about how doomed we were, but as we grew closer the jokes stopped being funny. She was truly unfazed by my transness. I exulted in this; it seemed as though I had finally cleared the last hurdle between me and the mundane heterosexual existence I had yearned for. Joking about reincarnation once, she said I must have had great karma to be a human in this life.

“It couldn’t have been that good,” I said, “or I wouldn’t have wound up in a girl’s body.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not a girl’s body. It’s yours.”

As we lay together at night, listening to the possum living in my ceiling scuffle back and forth, we initiated each other into our opposite and alien existences. I told her about the ordeals of my middle-school years and the euphoria of my first testosterone shot, the suicides of friends, the post-transition balancing game pitting safety against loss of identity. 

And, feeling homesick, I told her about walking on frozen Lake Monona, and how the Wisconsin woods turn orange and then black and stay black for too long, until you think you’re going to die in the lonely cold before the ice ever melts. And how one day everything turns green, the trees and branches and trunks and even the boulders, too. She had never seen snow. I had never seen sugar cane fields. She told me about her grandparents’ blue house in Gujarat, where she had lived while her parents tried to ground themselves in Texas, and the terror of the plane ride to meet them; 5 years old and flying to America in a cabin full of strangers. She attended weekly services at the local Hindu temple and would do her best to explain what had been talked about that day, despite my total religious ignorance. My favorite faux pas: Telling her we should name the elephant figurine on her dashboard Elphy McTrunkface. It turned out he already had a name: Lord Ganesh. 

She and I are still together, and we will almost certainly break up. Our relationship is based on mutual respect and trust — like any healthy pairing — but also on denial. She cannot marry me. We both know this, though I think she knows it better than I do. The foolhardy logic I use to rationalize my commitment to her will no doubt worsen my inevitable heartbreak. But for now, it sustains me. As animosity toward brown-skinned immigrants seems to worsen daily in this political climate, and anti-transgender bills that strip me of my dignity draw closer to becoming law in the Texas Legislature, there are days when we wake up scared, go to bed scared and navigate our isolation in between. Why not find refuge, however finite and daring, with each other? In a time of such upheaval and uncertainty, our reckless, quiet love feels like deliverance.” 

Malcolm Conner

[junker-town]

The new NFL season needs to hurry up and get here already

Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

After Baker Mayfield’s quote about Daniel Jones, #HelmetGate, and “Zeke who,” retired NFL lineman Geoff Schwartz is counting down the days until kickoff.

Sixteen more days, folks. As of today, we have 16 days left until the Packers head to Chicago to open up the NFL season on Thursday night. When the ball is placed on the tee and launched into the air, the regular season will have begun.

At that moment, all the preseason nonsense will be nonexistent.

We are almost there, but until the foot hits the ball, silly preseason storylines will dominate the news cycle. So far this week, we’ve already had to deal with three of them.

Baker Mayfield shares his thoughts about Daniel Jones

Yup, another Baker Mayfield story. In a new GQ profile, Mayfield was quoted with what seemed like a shot at Giants rookie Daniel Jones.

“I cannot believe the Giants took Daniel Jones,” Mayfield says, about New York’s much-maligned draft-day decision to spend the sixth pick on the quarterback from Duke (whose college record was a measly 17–19). “Blows my mind.”

I tell Mayfield that I’m mystified that so many supposedly expert quarterback scouts seem unable to predict what makes a good NFL quarterback.

“Some people overthink it,” Mayfield says. “That’s where people go wrong. They forget you’ve gotta win.

Look, I agree with Mayfield about Jones. Not the winning part, but just the draft pick of Jones in general.

But winning in college hasn’t meant much to success in the NFL. Quite often, it’s the opposite. The winningest college quarterbacks are often failures in the NFL. For example, Tim Tebow was 35-6 in college; Patrick Mahomes was 13-16.

My issue, as usual with Mayfield, is that he’s going out of his way to make comments about a player, even if he later tried to walk it back. But he brought that on himself. Mayfield wasn’t asked about Jones, nor was the article about him. The NFL has a way to humble athletes who talk too much before they’ve arrived, especially at the quarterback position.

The good news is that in a three short weeks when the Titans show up to Cleveland, this story will die down.

The latest development in #HelmetGate

On Monday night, news broke that Antonio Brown is filing another grievance with the league over his helmet. Now, Brown is arguing that he should be allowed a one-year grace period to wear a newer model of his preferred helmet even thought it failed a safety test.

Yep, you guessed it: he’s not going to win that grievance. The NFL isn’t going to let him wear a helmet it knows isn’t safe. The league would get sued the second Brown retired. Also, if it allows Brown to wear that helmet, then every other NFL player can do the same, and that’s not happening.

AB, please wear the new helmet. Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Jason Witten, Joe Staley, and more have all switched.

For now though, he’s refusing to wear a helmet and will only participate in walkthrough, not practice, for the Raiders.

Ezekiel Elliott takes offense to Jerry Jones’ joke

The last story I can’t wait to disappear is Zeke Elliott’s holdout. We know he’s coming back at some point because he’s not going to risk skipping a free agency year. After the Cowboys’ preseason game against the Rams, Jerry Jones was asked a question framed around rookie running back Tony Pollard’s performance and if this helps the Cowboys.

Jones, clearly saying this playfully, responded with “Zeke who?”

The media scrum seemed shocked as Jones remained quiet for five seconds. Then he started to laugh and everyone got the joke. It was reported that Elliott and his agent found the comment distasteful. Ugh. What a pointless story, especially when Elliott comes back to the team, most likely with a new deal.

This preseason is full of stories I can’t wait to go away. For more thoughts, please watch this Periscope!

Oh boy, Baker Mayfield is at it again. Just can’t help himself. And Antonio Brown isn’t winning his grievance https://t.co/WwecvWoH3H

— Geoff Schwartz (@geoffschwartz) August 20, 2019

[steffanrobot123-blog]

To Save Time, Money, and Efforts Avail Movers Near Me Services

Resource Blog: https://moversnearmeusa.kinja.com/to-save-time-money-and-efforts-avail-movers-near-me-s-1840527041

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[stonerboy-writings]

Working-Holiday Visa Crash Course

This post is all about Work-Holiday visas. These visas are different than your traditional employee sponsored work permit or your tourist visa, as they allow you to work within your chosen nation for an extended period of time as well as hold a job during your travels. Since I am American I will be including the various countries that are available to American citizens, as of the date of this blog post. It should be noted that If you are going to a non-English speaking country to teach English, you will typically apply for a work permit and temporary residency visa, which is provided through your future employer’s sponsorship. I should also note that if you have a fair amount of job experience in a field such as Engineering your skill might be listed under a national “Critical Skills” shortlist. If this is your situation it is fairly easy to obtain a work permit and temporary residency without the need for employer sponsorship. If you are interested in teaching English however, you will have to follow the steps I have listed below, but if you have a “critical skill” then skip to the “Apply for your Visa�� step. The general way in which you would apply for a traditional visa goes as follows:

Go to your target nation’s immigration website. My example for this step will be Canada’s immigration webiste which you can find here

Apply for a number of jobs, and hope to get accepted

Explain your situation to your employer and if they feel willing or if you have a skill like teaching English that is not easily filled by nationals from your target country have them sponsor you for a visa. It is important to remember that this would be a temporary visa, so you are subject to the nation’s current political whims

Apply for your visa by:

If asked go in for an interview at the target nation’s consulate or embassy

Wait from anywhere between a few weeks, to a few months to hear back from the immigration office

Ensuring that you have a passport

Completing the necessary documents needed to apply for this permit

Making sure that your employer follows through and gives you sponsorship

Work-holiday visas are an alternative to the way that visas have traditionally been handled. So long as you are willing to limit your options to Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Singapore, and South Korea, this could be an option for you if you would like to live abroad. I will include links on where you can apply for these visas along with other blogs that will help with this process.

Additional Links:

Creator: 6 Countries Where It’s Easy to Snag a Work Visa

This page has information on a number of different visas along with work-holiday visas that might interest you. I know that it has information on business programs like one in the Netherlands that allows for entrepreneurs to receive temporary residency if they start a new Dutch business.

Go Overseas: The American’s Guide to Working Holiday Visas

I love the Go Overseas website as it has a lot of information about moving, living and working abroad. I got a fair amount of information from this blog post, which I incorporated and added on to with the information below.

I hope you enjoy this post, and if you have any questions or comment feel free to contact me or you can always comment below.

Caroline in the City: Working-Holiday Resources

Caroline in the City is another blog, and this post that I am linking to you has an extensive list about Work-Holiday visas for other nationalities. It also includes a number of travel resources for all of the countries that she has listed that provide Work-Holiday visas.

Australia:

So long as you are between the age of 18 and 30, you should be able to apply for this holiday visa. The requirements for this permit are as listed below:

Are at least 18 but not yet 31 years of age

Don’t have a dependent child with you at any time during your stay in Australia

Have a valid passport that is preferably valid for at least 6 months

Be outside of Australia when your visa is granted

Have not previously entered Australia on a Work-Holiday Visa

Have proof of sufficient funds (AUD 5,000, or the equivalent in your own currency)

Have a round-trip ticket

Meet Australia’s health requirements (make sure that you have not had Tuberculosis or a few other illnesses and you should be alright)

Pass a background check

And pay a $420 AUD application fee

The great thing about this visa is that your application is that it is submitted online and a decision is usually made within a few days. With this permit you can reside within Australia for twelve months, and then renew it if you wish to say longer, but the one problem with this permit is that you can only be employed by one employer for the maximum of six months. After the six-month period is up you will then have to find another job for the rest of your stay if you want to remain in Australia for the duration of your visa.

Additional Links:

The Work and Holiday visa (subclass 462) Website

This is the website for Australia’s Holiday-Work Visa and most of the information you need to apply for this visa is included here. You can also click here to access a pdf by the Australian government puts all of the information throughout the website linked above in a compact easy to understand document.

The Little Back Packer: Everything You Need to Know About: A Working Holiday in Australia

This a blog written by a woman named Jodie. This post that I have liked above has a fair amount of information on what you should do once you have arrived in Australia. She also has a good travel blog so I would recommend checking it out.

New Zealand:

The New Zealand work-holiday visa is very similar to the Australian one. The primary difference is that their website is more user friendly and they provide prospective applicants with more resources to find employment before arriving in New Zealand.  The requirements for this permit are as listed below:

Are at least 18 but not yet 31 years of age

Have a permanent address in the country you are applying from

Have proof of medical insurance

This must be the first New Zealand Work-Holiday Visa that you have applied for

You must have at least $4,200 NZ (the equivalent in your own currency) and be able to prove that you have those funds

You must have a return ticket out of New Zealand or have additional funds that you can use to leave the country

A valid passport

Pass a background check

You must also be in good health; they can require you to have a chest x-ray or medical examination as proof that you are healthy.

You must not have dependents such as children during your stay.

New Zealand is a beautiful nation and this permit allows you to work in New Zealand for up to 12 months, and study or train for up to 6 months. Just like Australia you cannot have dependents, which is a universal requirement for these visas as they do not want to provide services to your dependent while you are in the country. You are also unable to accept a permanent position within the country so if you want to have a contract it would be best to go the route of employer sponsorship. I should also note that this application is made online, so it will be easy for you to complete it and within twenty days you should receive a response.

Additional Links:

New Zealand Immigration Working Holiday Visas –

This is the Working-Holiday visa application and resource page. There is a ton of information on the government website, along with resources about job placement. I should not that each country listed has a different Working Holiday Visa scheme, so click here for the United States variant, or if you are from another nation please find your nation listed on the webpage linked above.

New Zealand Now: Finding and Applying for Jobs

This is another New Zealand government website that outlines how to apply for a job in New Zealand as well as offers a variety of resources for your job search.

Spin the Windrose: Travelling to New Zealand on a Working Holiday Visa? Read this.

This is, “a blog about long-term, responsible travel on a budget,” which documents this woman named Abbi and her travels around the globe. The blog post that I am linking above describes how she applied for her visa, and the various steps she took after arriving in New Zealand.

Go Overseas: Insider Tips for a New Zealand Working Holiday

This is a Go Overseas blog post, which outlines the steps to apply for this working-holiday visa, as well as what you should do upon arrival. There is also review of New Zealand’s various major cities as well as a guides on setting up bank accounts, places to travel to and information on how to get around New Zealand.

Ireland

If you want to live in Europe, and you are from the United States then Ireland is a viable option for you. With this visa there are no age restrictions, but you must be enrolled in a university or have graduated within the past 12 months. So you can apply for this if you’re in your sixties, but you will have to be a college student, or a recent graduate. The application process is a two-step process, but the general requirements are:

Step 1 –

To complete and sign the appropriate paper work

A passport that is valid for at least a full year after your entry

Two passport photographs with your name on the back side of it

Your current CV/resume with at least two references

Evidence that you are currently a full time student or have recently graduated, this can be done by providing a diploma that has been issued within the past 12 months or official college transcripts

A bank statement that shows that you have at least $4000 dollars USD

To pay the $339 processing fee.

Step 2 – (Assuming that your consulate has approved you to move onto Step 2)

To have purchased return tickets

To have proof of medical and travel insurance for the duration of your trip. The duration will be determined by the dates on your tickets

Your US passport will then be reviewed again to ensure that it will be valid for at least one year after your date of entry

Ireland does not use an online system to approve visas, so because of that you will have to submit your visa by mail. It appears that it takes around 2-3 weeks for your visa to be processed, however, according to Rachel in Ireland she was able to be approved within one week. So I guess it varies depending on how many applicants there are. One benefit to the Irish work-holiday visa is that there are no limitations to how long or where you can work. For New Zealand and Australia, you would be unable to gain a contract position and there were limited for how many months you could work under one employer, but for Ireland there are no restrictions so long as it is legal and respects Irish labor laws.

Additional Links:

Consulate General of Ireland | Boston: US-Ireland Working Holiday Agreement

This is the Irish consulate in Boston’s website, which has information on their Working Holiday visa. As I am from Maine I pounced on the consulate in Boston, but if you are from a different part of the United States, then it would be best to consult the Irish Embassy’s consulate directory linked right here. You also can access the application form by going here, but the general information and requirements necessary to get this visa can be seen your area’s consulate’s page on the working holiday authorization.

Rachel in Ireland: My Irish Working Holiday

This is a blog post about how to apply for a working-holiday authorization for the Ireland. Rachel’s blog is based upon her time in Ireland, so because of that she has a lot of information about her time there, finding work, where to visit, and so on. I should also add that https://rachelinireland.com is her old website, and now it is http://celtandkiwi.com/

Go Abroad: How to Live and Work in Ireland on a Working Holiday Visa

This is a Go Abroad article that outlines the preliminary steps necessary before and right after your arrival in Ireland. This includes some information about opening a bank account, traveling and getting a phone. I’ve always found that Go Abroad is a good resource on world travel, since their articles outline a lot of the common issues and misstates that travelers make so you can have the best experience possible.

Singapore

Singapore might not be the first country that you would think of for a work-holiday visa program. While New Zealand, Australia, and I believe Ireland do not have a quota for the number of visas they might grant, Singapore does. They appear to be rather selective and only grant 2,000 visas to individuals who have attended some of the world’s best universities, specifically you must have attended one that is among the world’s top 200 universities. The general requirements for this visa is that:

You are between the ages of 18 and 25

That you a graduate or under graduate from one of the world’s top 200 universities. You can see if your university makes the mark by visiting this website

You must have been a resident and full time student of the University if you have gradated and if you are currently a student you must be a resident and a full-time student who has been enrolled for at least three months.

Submit the required documents

Provide a letter from the university stating your matriculation, name nationality, gender and date of birth

Provide a copy of your diploma or a copy of your transcripts if you have graduated

If you have yet to graduate, then provide a copy of a student card that has been issued by your university

It should be noted that all documents must be in English, or translated into English, which then should be accompanied by the proper translation certification

Pay the $150 USD issuing fee

Applying for this visa appears to be more involved, but Singapore has many opportunities, and this six-month visa would allow you to taste what Singapore offers. It should be noted that takes around three months for this visa to be processed, so it is best to plan ahead. I would like to add that since Singapore’s Working Holiday Program is more selective than many other nations it was challenging to find other blogs and links about it. Below I have two links and one of them is a blog that I found, which has more information about its specific Work-Holiday visa if you are interested.

Additional Links:

Ministry of Manpower: Work Holiday Programme

This is the Ministry of Manpower’s Work Holiday Visa Program’s website, which has all of the pertinent information necessary to apply for this permit.

Travel Dave: Singapore Working Holiday Visa

Dave is an adventure traveler that has traveled all over the world, and one of his blog posts is about the application process for a Singaporean Work-Holiday visa. He provides some detailed information about how to use an agent to help you with the application process for this visa, along with what you should do after arriving in Singapore.

South Korea

South Korea also has a Work-Holiday visa program, which allows for US citizens to remain work and travel in Korea for 18 months and other participating nations for 12 months. I found the ineligibility conditions to be rather comical as they included, “Dancer, Singer, Musician, or Acrobat.” If you are not a dancer, singer, musician, acrobat, work in an adult entertainment-related business, requiring specific licenses or skills, a foreign language instructor, seeking training or education, interested in a career related to journalism, religion, or research, or if you intend to go to South Korea for the primary goal of working, then you can move onto the general requirements for this permit. The general requirements are:

Between the ages of 18 and 30 at the time of the visa application

Intend to enter South Korea within 12 months after the visa’s issuance

Have a valid passport

A recent photograph that has been taken within the past three months

Proof of a round trip airline ticket

Proof of financial support or other documents that show you have sufficient funds to support yourself for at least 3 months. This totals around $10,000 USD

Proof of your student status, or diploma from an accredited University. If you have graduated, you will have had done so within the past 12 months to be eligible

Additional documents such as a Criminal Report, and Medical Exam might also be required as required documents differ from embassy to embassy, so they suggest that you contact your embassy for further details as these requirements are subject to change.

You may be asked to be interviewed at a South Korean consulate, so keep that in mind and it should be noted that all documents you provide will not be returned.

This visa is available to Australian, French, Canadian, Japanese, New Zealander, and American citizens. Unlike the other visas where it is generally acceptable to go to these countries to work and sustain yourself, which can then be followed by some vacations, this visa appears to be primarily for those who wish to spend more time in South Korea and pick up side work to supplement their travels. If South Korea interests you, this can be an excellent option to spend some more time exploring the nation while participating in some side jobs that can give you a unique cultural experience.

Additional Links:

Consulate General of the Republic of Korea in New York: H-1 Visa (Including WEST Program)

This is the Consulate General in New York’s page on the Korean Working Holiday (H-1) Visa. I could not find a blog on the process for applying for this Work-Holiday visa, so if you can find one that would be great, but in terms of applying for this visa the link above should give you a good start to the process.

I hope that this will provide you with a good introduction on applying for Visas, and what a Work-Holiday visa entails. If you have any questions or comments, please either comment below or send me a message through the “Contact” tab above.

Happy Traveling!

Originally published on old wordpress site: edwardjelliott.wordpress.com - Feb 9 2017

[greenhatchique]

Roller xoaster head start

My feelings has been up and down ever since I knew I got a job at CD. I was honestly happy for finally being able to get a job but at the same time I was very self concious, anxious or can I say scared ? because I did not find a place yet to stay. I did search for rooms and houses and found several that seems good enough and reasonable but the problem is I was not able to view the houses due to me staying far away from PJ. So it's quite bothersome to travel all the way to KL just for the sake of viewing a house. Plus, it such a waste of money to travel back to back from Ipoh to KL. So I decided maybe I will view the houses once I touch down PJ. Unfortunately I am all alone here. I came here alone without my parents or brother driving me all the way from Ipoh as usual because our economical situation is currently not in good terms. So I have to come here alone carrying one big bag packer and a gigantic luggage with broken tires riding a bus so early in the morning that the chicken has not woken up yet. Because of my safety purposes my parents does not allowed me to view the houses alone. Even though one of the house owner was so freaking nice that he offer me a ride from the Curve to view the house. Me being silly as always never thought that he may have any bad intentions but my parents were freaking out and does not allowed me to follow the man as they worried about my safety. So I cannot view the house. Yet. My first plan was to stay at my friend's house for a while. She told me she will come back to PJ yesterday (sunday). So I told her I come today (monday). Once I touch down KL Sentral around 10 am, I text her saying I was on the way to her house. And guess what ? To my disbelief, she still at her hometown. She forgot to inform me the day before. I was shocked. The neighbourhood of he house was quite scary with all the foreigners and many crimes has been commit there. So of course I was freaking scared.But she told me that they left a key at their neighbour and asked me to take it so that I can rest in the house. So I gather my courage an went there. To make things worst as I informed the neighbour in front of the house and asking for the key, the "kakak" told me that one of my friend's housemate has took the key early in the morning and went for interview and don't know when lahhh she's going to come back. Seriously I have no words to say. I was clueless, scared and truthfully I really wanted to cry. I was exhausted because I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night because I was overwhelmed and the long journey from Ipoh to KL did not make it any better. The first thing that crossed my mind upon arriving KL was to sleep for long hours at my friend's house. Never did I imagine it would turn out this way. I called my friend. Telling her about the situation and she sounds quite suprised about the whole situation. So she told me to left my bags at the "kakak's" house and go somewhere. The safest place that I could think of was KL Sentral. Because it's crowded for 24/7, convenient for food and stuff to entertain myself for a while. Then, she shared the contact number of her housemate who took the key, asking me to contact her. And I did. And that girl sounds bitchy and grumpy as hell. She asked me to wait for others to come back tonight and ignore my question on when she will come back because I need the key. She was totally ignorant. That was my first impression via phone about that girl. I can't imagine how I'm gonna share room with her later. So I call my friend back. And she was totally have no idea on where I should stay at the moment. I told her I could just wait at KL Sentral until she arrived here. She told me that the idea was ridiculous but that is definitely the only place I could think of. I don't have anyone here. My friends and my parents friends house are far in the capital of KL or Shah Alam. Traveling there will be quite long. Plus some of them are still on the way heading back to the city, just like my friend. So the only solution is to wait for my friend at KL Sentral, where she expected to arrive around 10pm at Terminal Bas Bersepadu (TBS). Taking LRT from there to KL Sentral so maybe she will arrive at KL Sentral around 11pm. Then we have to take MRT and grab car. Fuck my money flowing rapidly on my first freaking day. And I don't know what worst to come because I still have around 6 hours to spend here alone before I can finally meet my friend. And I have no idea whether or not I'm ready to worl tomorrow. Goshhhh tomorrow is my first freaking day at work. Today is worst so far. So I honestly have no idea what to expect tomorrow. God, help me TT___TT

[cover32-yahoopartner-blog]

Buffalo Bills: Things we know this week

I settled in to spend some time following the NHL expansion draft. The new Las Vegas Golden Knights go ‘live to air’ this fall, competing as the first NHL expansion team since Columbus and Minnesota came into the league many years ago, right around the time our beloved Buffalo Bills last competed in the playoffs.

I know many people like myself who travel the Vegas destination often due to friends and family residing in the valley; will be strategic moving forward with the dates of planned visits. Those dates will certainly be analyzed carefully before booking a flight based on when the Sabres play in Southern Nevada. Pretty smart..huh?

Teams spend days and weeks masterminding the best strategy on protecting and exposing players and minimizing the huge risks. I mentioned feeling smart, did I not? I was feeling this was a simple task due to a totally unrelated accomplishment, yet an accomplishment it was and confidence I did not lack.

I just recently solved the much anticipated ruse on the newly ABC re-creation of the 1970’s famous talent exhibition, The Gong Show. Riddle me this. I successfully identified the washed up English actor Tom Maitland as good old Wayne from SNL’s skit turned movies, Wayne’s World and Austin Power’s star, Michael Myers.

We won’t get into ‘I married an axe murderer’ or I may ruin this entire article, which I have been known to do… Really well played out over all, but just how long is it funny to have a well know celebrity on a game show hosting it as someone else. It did its job and got everyone’s attention. Andy Kaufman would be proud.

No deal… No problem… no worries… as long as in Positioning themselves only a small quantity of players of any significance are left unprotected. Significance could mean valuable players to your team’s performance on the ice remaining secure. Significant could also be a contract you truly want Vegas to select and take off of your hands.

As much as I love hockey being a rink rat growing up playing on multiple teams at a time throughout certain seasons, football drafts are just simply better. Regular season football games are simply better than regular season hockey games. I will gladly stack up an NHL playoff game against any sport for action, intensity, excitement, aggressiveness and pure entertainment.

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Player Spotlight: Could 49ers’ QB, Brian Hoyer, exceed expectations in 2017

cover32 Exclusive: Check out this one-on-one interview with ESPN’s, Freddie Coleman

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That being said 82 regular season hockey games take place to narrow it down the playoff teams and that can be long and at times uneventful, and yes I will say it, boring.

When it comes to drafts, once in a great while, your team may be involved with a chase like the Sabres were two seasons ago, basically tanking it to get the best chance to score Connor McDavid or Jack Eichel during a season where two franchise players were to be at the top of the draft. In football, the number one overall pick is usually brilliant his first year. Yes, the bust factor exists, but so do the Andrew Luck’s and Cam Newton’s lighting it up as a rookie.

If the Bills draft eighth overall, you expects a stud player who will be starting as a rookie no matter which side of the ball that player plays on. In hockey very high draft picks occasionally make the team the first year and often are so young they are returned to college or juniors.

So when sport writers state that the Buffalo Bills numbers are leaning towards a tank or all out rebuild, I do not believe it because they would not have kept Kyle Williams and Charles Clay around if they were planning on stripping to the bones and going 1-15… or worse.

I would guess they are retooling on the fly and if it results in a total bust of a season, bring on those top rated quarterbacks coming out of college. Because football players can be extremely impactful so quickly, I am willing to wait especially since we have already been waiting for 17 years.

In hockey a tank can seem to take an eternity. Yes Edmonton made the playoffs in McDavid’s second season. Heir rebuild though has been going on since about 2007. Many number one overall picks and still no team chemistry and no additional wins.

I am excited for the two new regimes under the ownership of the Pegula Empire. The Bills just appear more professional and carry themselves differently with their new front office. I can honestly see the Bills in the playoffs as much as the experts say no way. If the defense resembles anything of what it was prior to Rex Ryan’s arrival, then this season will be a successful one on the defensive side of the football. Jerry Hughes, Kyle Williams, Marcell Dareus all were amazing and without Mario Williams, they have Shaq Lawson and Lorenzo Alexander ready to crush the opponent’s quarterback.

Now if the offense can continue its dominance of the last two seasons rushing the football and improve on the passing game, they could have decent football team. Balanced for a change, on both sides of the ball, which could equal a winning season. I am not placing any world class wagers on that because they could also be a train wreck in that new systems are in place yet again which often times take half of a season to adapt to which in the 16 game season of the NFL, is far too late.

I think the Bills are one or two players or one or two injuries away from being really good or really bad. I think the Sabres are not there yet and are a team with a handful of good players for the future with way to many holes everywhere else.

A little comparison between the two major league teams in town is very much understandable being that both teams news is slow being in the offseason and both teams felt the wrath of Terry Pegula as the coach and general manager as well as many other coaching and front office positions were terminated of their employment meaning huge turnover in management.

I also don’t see either team having a Tim Murray style impulsive executive. Both GM’s were highly regarded and groomed and take the methodical sensible approach with limited risk factors, more like Darcy Regier. I apologize for that name because he was here for so many years, but patience was his game.

Doug Whaley was a gunslinger in that he pulled the trigger on moves like McCoy or trading away a ton for Sammy Watkins pick. He was involved in the trades to make the E.J. selection less of a reach and selecting Robert Woods. He never had an issue trading up or down to accomplish what he visioned was needed right there and then.

Tim Murray was the same in those ways. His deal getting Kane and O’Reilly were basically fantasies on talk radio that he made happen. But he also traded a number one pick for an unproven goalie with other options on the table. He traded away a top notch defensemen and a couple prospect defenseman the Sabres went from being viewed as having a very, very young defense with a bright future to a team that did not even have an NHL worthy defensive core. Some experts really even question the one defenseman the Sabres and the fans really rank high internally.

Enough about the ice hockey team comparisons for kicks, as justifiable as it is. My swimming pool water feels closer than the Sabers prospects are to actual ice — ice time in the near future — oh that was not very nice.

Now fine people in Bills Country and Sabers Land. Give me the opportunity to freshen up with a chunk of that gum that considers leaking liquid sweetener refreshing, ”chill out” like Arnold instructed cleverly as Mr. Freeze and ”Relax” only as Frankie goes to Hollywood did, guiding a generation. Those very important words being said, Ladies and Gentlemen I bring to you from a very nice plastic Adirondack chair between a cold swimming pool and not quite hot; hot tub as Hurley and Aldous look at me and look at me and look at me…that’s what dogs do, but really this is awkward…ok this is uncomfortable.

BILLS NEWS: Buffalo’s three most important players for 2017

Things We Know About The Buffalo Bills This Week:

Rookie wide receiver Zay Jones will have plenty of opportunity opposite Sammy Watkins this season. He was indeed the most targeted wide receiver in college ball in 2016 with 216.  The next best was Trent Taylor at 171 which surely separates the first and second place player in that category.

Opportunities are extremely important for rookies giving them more opportunity to make plays. If a rookie drop or out of bounds call happens with very limited opportunities it can be discouraging to the player and have him viewed wrongly by the league’s players. Racking up opportunities can create a sort memory if he makes errors, and if not, he can have one heck of a rookie season.

Bill Polian who built the dynasty that was the late 80’s and 90’s Buffalo Bills knows the Bills need to identify who will step up at the wide receiver position this year. He is not naïve to the question mark at running back behind Shady. I cannot get cute and ask the real Slim Shady to please stand up, because the Bills real Shady has done more than stand up since arriving in town.

He has carried the team while standing up. Polian also wants to see how the offensive line holds up in pass protection for T-Mobile. That may seem like a lot, but that is his job and he comes up with more questions about the World Champions if you give him the open microphone. He thinks this Bills team is going in the right direction for the first time since 2004.

He says the defense should take several weeks to gel, but after that it is a very similar scheme that Jim Swartz implemented and the talent is there. It could be a dominating defense up front with the line and the linebacking crew. Special teams should be decent since they kept that coaching faculty in place and they are big supporters in players who do multiple things and that is exactly what special team’s coaches want to, but rarely hear.

This year and next year will be break out years in the Queen City in Mr. Polian’s view. However, many other experts view this Bills team in a different light. Time will tell. I realize the more and more I read and listen that the 2004 Bills were really a special team. I really really hate missed opportunities.

What am I talking about in missed opportunities? That team choked, losing to third stringers the last week of the season. Wait… missed opportunities can work here because the Bills got all of the help they needed around the league that a win by them puts them in the playoffs.  So we would only be talking about a tiny 13 year playoff draught. Not too shabby

Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening and in case I don’t see ya….good night.

READ MORE: Three wide receivers the Bills could target in 2018

The post Buffalo Bills: Things we know this week appeared first on Cover32.

[cover32-yahoopartner-blog]

cover32 Exclusive: Interview with ESPN’s Freddie Coleman

Freddie Coleman has been an ESPN Radio host for 13-years. Currently, he hosts ‘Freddie & Fritz’ weeknights at 11 p.m ET on ESPN Radio and the ESPN app.

With the NFL season inching closer, and closer Freddie stops by to discuss all things NFL. He also breaks down comparisons between the NBA.

Coleman’s employer, ESPN, made news recently laying over 100 employees. He gives his take on how the environment has changed as well as the future of the business.

Coleman is well versed in the radio business, after graduating in 1987 from Mansfield University of Pennsylvania with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Mass Communication and minor in journalism.

  You don’t have to wait to hear what @ColemanESPN thinks of the Knicks draft pick. Here’s a sneak peak… pic.twitter.com/8T62TlWBku

— Freddie&Fitz (@FreddieAndFitz) June 23, 2017

Freddie Coleman can be reached on Twitter @ColemanESPN.

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Bobby Burack: First off, thank you so much for joining us, you are one of the best in the business.

Coleman: Appreciate that Bobby and you are too kind.  Blessed to love what I do and do what I love.

Burack: Freddie, before we get into your career and the changes in sports media, let’s hit on some NFL topics. Last year, over the course of the regular season the league saw a 9% viewer decrease, I believe that it was due to the highly controversial Presidential race, others say it was due to over-saturation, Kaepernick, concussions — why do you think this was the case. Do you believe the ratings will fall once again in 2017?

Coleman: I don’t think so because we saw ratings rise once the election was over because people wanted football and they got exciting football.  Pats comeback in the Super Bowl, Cowboys success, Packers and Steelers contending.  But the games have to be better because to me that had as much to do with low ratings early on than the election, Kaepernick or concussions.

Burack: I am one that thought the NBA season was ruined greatly by the dominance of the Warriors; your colleague, Stephen A. Smith, was very vocal about it as well. Do you fear that with the moves the Patriots made in the offseason, they will become the NFL’s version of the Warriors?

Coleman: Nope because football is different and the Patriots weren’t far and away a dominant team.  To refresh people’s memory, the Falcons were kicking their butt in the Super Bowl.  Teams aren’t THAT far behind the Pats like the majority of NBA behind the Warriors.  And by the way, the NBA Finals had its highest ratings in 19 years.

Burack: Raiders’ QB, Derek Carr, just was signed to a record-breaking 125 million dollar deal, do you see him as the future of the NFL?

Coleman: No. He’s already arrived.  He’s a step away from being an elite QB and I believe that’s a short time away.  I said the Raiders got a steal, so I’m glad he proved me right.

Burack: We brought up the NBA earlier on, there was a lot of talk about LeBron James and his legacy vs Michael Jordan, do you see comparisons between LeBron and Aaron Rodgers? They both appear to be the most talented in the history of their sports, can do things never seen before, cannot be duplicated but have been derailed by their teams not winning like some of the other greats. If so, why does Rodgers not get the same praise as LeBron?

Coleman: Because Tom Brady is still alive, breathing and has 5 more rings than Rodgers.  I get the comparison, but it’s harder to win an NFL Title than the NBA.  1 guy in the NBA can will a team and be built around better than a QB with 10 guys on his side and 11 guys on D and special teams that can’t be mediocre.

Burack: Freddie, we are an up-and-coming NFL site, many of our writers and readers are hoping to advance in the field of sports media, what is the current state of the field? You work for the largest entity in the business; however, ESPN just laid off over 100 workers, how has the vibe changes around the workplace since that time period in May?

Coleman: It’s been different, but it’s part of the business.  I have been through 2 layoffs and it’s worse now because the climate isn’t the same.  But there’s more competition for spots, but also more avenues to be and succeed in sports media.  Working at ESPN is fantastic, but we are competing with everybody and everything, so we have to be on our toes ALWAYS!!!

Burack: What advice do you have for someone wanting to get where you are today? –

Coleman: DON’T be afraid!!!  So many are afraid of failure.  Well, guess what – YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL, but that doesn’t mean you give up.  Too many want things easy, but that’s not reality.  And never be afraid to learn.  If I don’t everything and I’ve been in the business for more than a minute, then NEITHER do you!!!

Burack: Can you tell the audience about your journey and how you became a national radio host at ESPN? Also, you are now hosting with a co-host in Ian Fitzsimmons, how is solo radio different?

Coleman: I started in Music Radio as a TOP 40 DJ in Portland, Maine.  I thought that was what I going to do my whole career, but then I got into TV as well.  Then I guested on Sports Radio shows in the Hudson Valley in New York before I was hired to do Afternoon Drive on Fox Sports Radio 980 in Albany.  ESPN GM Bruce Gilbert heard me, there was an opening for the GameNight show and 13 years later, here I still am.  And I love working with Ian, but it’s always cool to fly solo because that’s how my career started.

Burack: How do you go about your day in prepping for the show and being on so late (11 pm) knowing most of the stories of the day have already been covered?

Coleman: That’s not true.  80% of the stories happen at night because of games, trades, stupidity, etc.  We set the table for the next day what they are talking about the majority of the time.  I’m always looking for stories behind the stories, results, etc.

Burack: Freddie, before we let you go, it is only June but what are you thinking for an early Super Bowl prediction? I am on record, my pick is the Steelers and Cowboys in a ratings explosion for the NFL.

Coleman: Ha, Ha, Ha and that’s WAAAY too early.  Check with me in September when pre-season is over and even then I STILL may not know.  J

  The post cover32 Exclusive: Interview with ESPN’s Freddie Coleman appeared first on Cover32.