#i cannot stress to you how worth it watching Beast Wars is

[spamatron3000]

The fact that people think the IDW comics were responsible for Tarantulas' unhinged nature and not the original cartoon intended for kids just proves to me that all y'all need to go watch Beast Wars right now.

I'm dead serious. It's available in 4k on Youtube. If you can stand to watch the original Toy Story, you can stomach the visuals in Beast Wars. You're missing out on some of the best written characters in the entirety of Transformers just because it was the second ever fully CGI tv show and the visuals aren't up to your 2023 standards.

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 7 Review/Remix

Last episode before the holiday break. The long long long holiday break. And here I am only posting my review the night before we come back... I was having a lot of fun playing my new video games, okay? Let’s just get right into this with the joke everyone has already made. War: What is it good for? Actually a lot, if you can believe it. Only in this specific context though, because the warfare in the American streets these last few days is disgusting and emblematic of what has been wrong with the country for a while. A government leader sending his followers into the nation’s capital on a mission of rage and personal catharsis? Ick. At least in RWBY the tyrant isn’t attacking members of his own population... Oh wait, Mantle. :P

For a moment you might be fooled into thinking we’re starting back in the farmlands of Mistral, maybe getting another look at Oscar’s earlier life or seeing a little more of Nora’s mysteriously tragic past before she and Ren met. But no, these are the wheat farms on the outskirts of Atlas and Sabyrs are charging through like raptors through the tall grass in Lost World. A battalion of Atlesian soldiers, human soldiers I might add, stand armed to meet them. But even if they’re armed they are by no means ready. Monstra keeps coughing up a new wave of Grimm, and I do mean a wave, every minute or two and Atlas is pretty damn whelmed in the face of it. There are some big bots with guns standing in straight lines, but the majority of the defense put up by Remnant’s supreme authority on military power and strength is mortal men with fear in their hearts rather than expendable robot soldiers. And the big bots seem to be lined up in a way that the ones in the front block the ones in the back, so that’s just poor planning too. It’s just a concerning sight all together, and they are not efficiently handling the coming enemy. We cut up to Ironwood in his office, and it seems he is not dealing with this situation well at all. We know he’s under a lot of stress from all the recent events, but they are in fact mostly his own fault due to his poor decision making skills in times of crisis, and his single minded drive he calls a Semblance. Speaking of the eternally expanding list of Ironwood’s bad ideas, he decides to evacuate all the civilians into Atlas’ below ground subway tunnels. Fun fact: There were Apathy among the Grimm Monstra has been spitting out. Second Fun Fact: Apathy were last seen thriving and murdering in an abandoned underground tunnel system beneath a well. If one is familiar with fantasy television pop culture of the last decade, the Crypts of Winterfell might pop into your mind as a similarly poor place to hide all your unarmed women and children. Y’know, cuz in Game of Thrones they were facing a guy who could raise the dead as his minions and crypts are just tunnels full of corpses. Just saying, this could end up being a non-birthday massacre. Whatever captain of lieutenant Ironwood was talking to is hesitant to go along with this idea, but Ironwood puts his foot down by putting his fist down. And so his voice comes on over the city-wide PA system to tell everyone they need to get down into the subway for their own safety. Compared to the organized marching and relative calm of the poor folks down in Mantle, these rich fat cats practically trample each other to run and scream down the stairs. A father is concerned his daughter is going to get snatched up by a swarm of Lancers, but seems even more upset by the squad of airships swooping in to combat them. 

Speaking of airships, we cut to the one Marrow and Harriet are flying. The Ace Ops have arrested YRJ, because of course they did, and they all hear radio chatter as pilots are reporting in about how Monstra is too tough for them to pierce from the outside with any of the weapons available to them. Winter checks in over comms to report her team’s limited successes, and Ironwood tells her to stay on jailor duty for a bit. Yang snarks at Winter for continuing to follow orders despite the circumstances, but conversation is stifled by Monstra coming into view for the group. Jaune laments that the beast now serving as Oscar’s confinement is larger than they had imagined from a distance, and Vine continues to be rigid in his assertions as to just what Grimm can and cannot do. “Grimm don’t take prisoners” he says, as if that’s an irrefutable fact. It’s not like any Grimm have done anything new or unheard of recently, like talk or grow wings or exist within a river of evil sludge or shoot up miles into the air as a geyser or have gravity Dust crystals in their underbelly to fly, or as you are witnessing right now belch out ponds worth of sludge from with waves of Grimm are emerging to fight your ground troops. Yep, we definitely know every single thing a Grimm does, especially one brought here by the mistress of the entire Grimm collective who is commanding most of them here. You sure are smart, Vine... Yang continues to be riled up and ask they be let go to help, but Elm and Vine hold her in her seat. Ironwood is heard giving the Manta jets new orders and reveals Command is working on a solution for Monstra. Winter, naturally wanting to be kept in the loop, asks what that might be. He reveals the science team is putting together a bomb that might be able to take the whale out if detonated inside it. That means Winter and the Ace Ops will be delivering it into the literal belly of the beast. I don’t know if he intends for it to be a suicide mission with the bomb going off as soon as they’ve got it inside, or if it’s just incredibly risky to try and get inside Monstra at all, but Winter pales at this news and her eyes go wide before sadly drooping closed again. She composes herself and grows determined again as she accepts the new marching orders. Jaune and Yang are again audibly against these plans due to the risk to Oscar’s safety, but they are subdued as needed, though we see Winter’s act isn’t absolute and her hands are shaking.

Meanwhile, Salem is having the time of her life doing her best Mickey Mouse impression. Classical music plays as she conducts the waves of Grimm sludge out of Monstra’s mouth like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice playing conductor to the stars themselves. Emerald watched from a distance, and seems less than thrilled about the whole thing. She heads down the halls and has to use her Semblance to keep a Seer from noticing her and potentially reporting her going where she doesn’t need to be to Salem. And where she’s going is the door outside Oscar’s torture room. He’s coughing up blood, and Hazel is still insisting he start telling the truth before Salem loses her patience and just kills him despite how futile it’d be. Instead Oz starts asking some questions of his own: Does Hazel know why Salem sought to recruit him in particular? It turns out she approached him with the promise of making a new world order where there won’t be any kingdoms or Huntsman Academies. Oz just has to laugh at that naiveté. When Salem gets the 4 Relics, there won’t be a world at all. She’s been around for so goddamn long, all she wants is for it to end, and she thinks taking the whole world down is the only way to get it anymore. This just frustrates Hazel, and we learn why. He’s pretty damn sure Salem can’t die at all, because when she first approached him about working together he spent the better part of a day killing her over and over and over again. This man, whom we know from the Battle of Haven to have massive reserves of Aura and strength to endure and keep fighting, kept fighting until he was too worn down and exhausted to lift his fists again. And in that time of weakness and awe at her power, Salem made her sales pitch that even if he couldn’t kill the one leading the Grimm he could at least have vengeance on the establishment sending young people to their deaths against her. Oz points out that that’s exactly why she went to him, because she could make him believe this was the right way, that it would bring him closure. It’s what Ozpin deserves, Hazel argues, and Oz does not disagree. But does Oscar deserve it? Do the innocent people who haven’t been affected by Salem or Ozpin yet?  No, this isn’t for justice, this is personal. Because Salem said it would help Hazel. Has it?

We don’t get an answer to that, instead going back up to Weiss’ room in Schnee Manor where she’s reapplying Nora’s bandages. Still mostly unconscious, Nora mutters “Now what... am I good for?” I can think of a great many things Nora is useful for outside of her great strength and straightforward approach to combat, but its a damn shame no one has actually bothered to tell her that before now. Before Weiss has a chance to offer any, Blake and Ruby enter the room with cups of tea. I’m not ashamed to admit I initially thought they were hot chocolate cuz I’m not used to tea being that sort of amber color. Weiss admits that she’s done the most her limited medical knowledge can offer, and Nora needs more than that. Blake expresses her concern for the other half of their group, but almost slips up and says... well we’re just not sure, but we like to assume she was gonna say she’s especially worried for someone in particular. The shippers can fill that in how they like. Their moping is interrupted by May entering the room with some less than stellar news from Fiona and the others down in Mantle. They haven’t seen Yang’s team in a while, and with everything going to hell like this a search party is at the bottom of the priority list. She’s about ready to get back on the airship and head back down to Mantle, but Weiss protests and this sparks a debate. May points out that Mantle doesn’t have the luxury of the Atlas military protecting them so Ruby’s group and the Happy Huntresses are the only thing keeping the people safe from the chaos of the invasion, but Weiss argues that there are still people suffering up her and I have to agree. Just because a police force is around doesn’t automatically mean they’re doing the best job of keeping everyone safe. But Weiss pushes the wrong button by asking about May’s family. The Marigold’s were ashamed of the way their “son” acted, wanting to help the suffering down in Mantle. And so May would no longer let herself be called that, she became a woman proudly working as part of the Happy Huntresses for the service of the people. She kicked her Marigold name and reputation to the curb and her cousin Henry stepped up as the socialite snob instead. 

This cannot have been an easy scene for Kdin to record, but we all need to give a standing ovation for her performance in it. Powerful words that likely hit very close to home. What a queen.

May is sure Weiss gets where she’s coming from with their families casting them aside in favor of a more obedient heir, her being replaced by Whitley after her outburst at the charity concert. Weiss wants to voice her disagreement, but May questions whose side she’s on in all this. Blake doesn’t like that, they’ve heard this talk about taking sides before and judging by her tone she’s none too happy to be hearing it now. May is about to give her a strongly worded piece of her mind too but Ruby stands between them to remind everyone there are no sides. All of humanity needs to be united, and Salem is the one creating the tension that’s dividing them so their real enemy is her. The only question now is how do they get out of this problem? The solution might be hiding just around the corner, literally. Whitley has been listening from behind the door, and he seems a little inspired.

Meanwhile Oz seems to have just finished telling Salem’s dark cursed backstory to Hazel, and it seems her final plan really is to have the world so divided and ruined that when the gods are brought back to judge it they will deem Remnant a failure and destroy it and hopefully her with it. Hazel seems less than inclined to believe this story though, he still holds a damn hard grudge over his sister. Oz is getting nowhere so Oscar asks to be put back in the lead, and so he is just as Hazel is about to wallop them again. Oz is willing to trust him so he can earn Hazel’s trust in return. So he goes right ahead and tells the big guy Jinn’s name and that it’s how you summon her for one last question. Hazel seems mad that Oscar gave up the info so effortlessly after all that, but Oscar asserts that he’s not telling Salem. He’s telling Hazel, and letting him decide what to do with the knowledge and the chance to gain deeper knowledge still. Pretty rad strategy. Wouldn’t you know it though, Emerald is still listening outside the door and heard everything. She goes to tell Mercury, but he’s busy packing a duffel bag for a trip to Vacuo. Guess Salem doesn’t need him here right now so we’ll get to see him again in Volume 9 or 10. He’s less than convinced that they should try and use this behind the scenes knowledge to go against Salem, cuz if Hazel couldn’t do it then why would he change his tune now? And why would they risk their necks too? It’s not like Oz was telling the truth, right? Salem isn’t really gonna destroy the world! But the teens get another surprise lecture from Uncle Tyrian: Of course Salem plans to destroy Remnant!! You couldn’t tell from the start? Everything about her screams end of the world, and it is beautiful! And if you thought she’d do anything different then you must really be crazy... Bold worlds from a psychotic serial killer, but we already know he’s unhinged. Mercury doesn’t much like getting this rude awakening though, especially since Tyrian will be the one going with him to Vacuo. Merc and Em share one last sad look, but he’s made his bed and now he’s resigned to lie in it. Bye bye Mercury, see you after Emerald has probably switched sides and will have to face you as an enemy...

Speaking of ships soaring through the air, we go back to the Ace Ops and YJR heading for Monstra. Yang is protesting the bombing plan since Oscar is still inside, but Vine insists they can’t afford to wait and risk further death and destruction. Jaune offers a side plan, send the three inside Monstra ahead of the bombing squad to scope things out for them and try to rescue Oscar while they’re doing recon. Marrow is shocked that they’d be willing to go into the literal belly of the beast alone, but Yang asserts he’d do the same for one of his teammates if they were in this position, right? He doesn’t have an answer for that. Elm argues that trading their lives just for one other person is stupid, but amazingly it is Ren who objects. Oscar is their friend, and they will do whatever it takes for someone they care about like that. A real turnaround from his attitude of closing himself off emotionally, but I guess he’s realizing how ridiculous it sounds coming from other people? Harriet gets out of her seat to do what she does best and start talking down to someone as naïve and wrong. Feelings are stupid, the job is what matters. When you lose someone you just replace them and forget about them. We find out that Winter is indeed meant to be the new leader instead of Clover, and before Marrow there was apparently a member of the team named Tortuga, but Ren is not about to let anyone tell him that someone is replaceable. You don’t say that to Team JNPR, and we definitely don’t say that about Ren... Not now. In his outrage, Ren suddenly finds... clarity. He starts seeing the world a little differently. In less cryptic terms, his Semblance seems to have evolved and he now sees people’s emotions swirling around them as colorful bursts of flower petals. Harriet is actually furious about losing Clover, she’s lying to herself and trying to suppress her feelings. She does not like being called out like that, but the rest of the squad needs to be put on blast. As opposed to Hare’s red petals Marrow is surrounded by blue that I guess would mean sadness or depression, Elm has orange and some red, and Vine is clouded with green. The meanings of the last two are a little less clear, but they’re all definitely feeling some strong things that they’re trying to hide under a calm façade. This is the reason the Ace Ops lost to RWBY, they’re all held back by trying not to connect with each other so unity and team bonds never formed. Elm does not like being told she’s a loser because she won’t make friends, but at least it’s a a reaction, which means he’s absolutely right. She’s about to deck Ren in the face but Winter steps in to get everyone calmed down. She looks these three “fugitives” over, and makes a decision. She’s going to trust her sister’s friends. They will get the teens in close and give them a small window of time to try and get in and out before the Ace Ops need to bring in the payload and blow it all away. Harriet is pissed Winter is giving these “traitors” a chance, and questions her decision thusly. But you’re outranked, you boob, and you can’t do a damn thing to stop her from showing human decency. They have a very tight schedule to attempt this rescue, and Jaune accepts that fully. The three get uncuffed and are given their weapons back as the ship lands at the front lines. Ren tries to appeal to the doubt and regret he can see in Marrow to get him to switch sides while the getting’s good. Marrow wants to, but he sticks to the job for now. Yang and Jaune head out first, while Ren lingers to tell Winter he knows she doesn’t want to be a part of all this anymore either, and we see a rainbow of many emotional petals around her head. Either she has a balance of many emotions in check and is the most levelheaded of the Ace Ops, or she has the most emotions repressed and her mind is a tempest of feelings that aren’t being addressed and may spell her end... take your pick.

As this militant Schnee considers her options, we go homeward to see Weiss and the others heading for the front door. May isn’t keen to stay her any longer than needed, and the kids need to make a choice about where she’s dropping them off. Either they go to the front lines here in Atlas or back down to Mantle to help with the chaos there. No other options, and especially no breaking their jailbirds out for an assist. May doesn’t have the optimism and heroic hope that Ruby still holds dear, she won’t entertain the idea that this can become a complete victory all around. This isn’t that kind of world. Either they help one place, or they help another. And even then, that’s no guarantee wherever they go will be successful at stopping the invasion. It’s very depressing, and it’s on these kids to accept the facts and make the hard decisions. If you take a look at the last few Volumes, Ruby does seem to have a bit of a habit of ignoring the dreadful possibilities/facts in favor of pursuing a hopeful and bold plan that could fix everything immediately so she doesn’t have to cope with reality and actually grieve her mistakes and losses... I’m not saying it makes her a bad character or that she’s wholly wrong for trying to see a bright side whenever possible, just that this is an unhealthy strategy for a leader with so much on her shoulders. But before anyone has time to make a decision right now, there’s a hard knock on the front door. Everyone draws their weapons and approaches slowly, before Weiss cautiously opens the door. In a most definitely welcome surprise, she is greeted by Klein!!! She missed him dearly, and apologizes for whatever fault she had in his being fired, but while cycling through personalities he assures her she has nothing to be sorry for since it’s all Jacques’ fault, the bastard. Turns out, Klein is here to use his medical knowledge to treat Nora. What, didn’t you know all butlers to heroic millionaires have field medic training? Alfred Pennyworth set the gold standard, I dare say~ But of course, Weiss didn’t call him and none of her friends know his number so who told him to come?... Would you believe it, Whitley is responsible and we could not be more proud of him! Weiss certainly is, and she gives him what might be his first genuinely loving hug in years. Klein heads upstairs to begin treatment, while the rest of the group share a hopeful moment. But this silence too comes to a crashing halt as there is further ruckus outside. This time Ruby answers the door, to see a smoking crater in the front driveway. RWB rush outside and kneel at the edge of the crater as the smoke clears. Penny has crash landed, and lies there in a pool of what we can only presume to be her green synthetic blood. All she has the strength left to do is apologize before she passes out and the screen darkens with her. There lies the end for the next 6 weeks, and we were left to panic and speculate all the while. Too bad I’m a lazy bugger who only got this review out now and there’s no tension left before the thrilling continuation comes tomorrow morning. So lets all get one last panicked sleep in before the living nightmares come for our girls! Penny is totally gonna be under Watt’s control, the Hound is coming, it’s all gonna be a huge damn mess... Can’t wait, can you?~

[dappercritter]

Random She-Ra Season 4 Thoughts:

After much thinking and suffering, here are some random thoughts I had about season 4 inbetween feel episodes.

Going into S4 be like.

Coming out of S4 be like.

Grief and failure to communicate. This season is off to a great start!

You know, I still like Swift Wind but I’m starting to see why most people, uh… don’t.

If you told me before I started the show that I would hate a sexy catgirl and feel sorry for a creepy-looking cyborg conqueror, I would have called you a liar, paused, then said, “No, wait. Yeah, that sounds like me.”

Queen Glimmer looks nice, but I’m definitely going miss her old Cutie Honey-esque hairstyle.

Shame that Huntara didn’t join the Rebellion full-time but it’s for the best. Not just so she can liberate the Crimson Wastes, but let’s face it, nobody in the Rebellion would be able to think straight with a butch Amazonian warrior goddess hanging around.

I really can’t give Double Trouble enough praise: they have so much personality, a fantastic design combining reptilian and theatre-kid traits (two of my favourite kind of characters!), are morally ambiguous but likeable, and help alleviate all the dramatic stress that this season is packed with.

Flutterina and her village has thoroughly convinced me we need more moth people in fantasy.

Why? Simple. THEY’RE SO FLUFFY

I have some minor issues with the Flutterina controversy: yes, Adora and the Rebellion recruited a young girl to fight in a war and took her from her home and all that, which is a valid concern to have and indeed just a little hypocritical given that was how she was forced to grow up, but I feel like the fact that Flutterina is actually Double Trouble, a young adult spy with what I assume is a fair amount of combat and espionage training, makes it ring hollow for me.

Also, do we know if there’s a real Flutterine that Double Trouble impersonated or is she just a persona they made up?

Either way, it’s funny to imagine the Elberon locals trying to make sense of this little girl that just showed up out of nowhere, went off to war, and then the real one shows up right after and everyone just has to go along with it otherwise people will think they can’t keep track of their own kids.

Okay, so I’m not happy about Shadow Weaver slowly being treated as just another member of the cast, but I’m also sort of glad that it’s being implied that we’re still not supposed to trust her either.

That said, leave it to Shadow Weaver to go and potentially destroy Glimmadora on us.

Rogelio confirmed for best boyfriend.

Watching Kyle’s near sacrifice gave me some Chaos Vortex PTSD. (Pit-Truama Stress Disorder)

(If you understood that reference, you have earned my respect for life.)

Light Hope, you’re scaring the adults now, too.

Emily has a holographic projector and was at one point wanted by a ruthless conqueror of worlds. So I guess she qualifies as an astromech droid now?

Speaking of holograms, seeing Catra, Scorpia, and Entrapta when they were all friends was the worst kind of bittersweet.

(After watching Scorpia leave her toxic friendship to embark with Emily on an adventure to save Entrapta) *on the verse of tears* Fricking superb you funky little lesbian! *sniff* Fricking superb…

That’s right, Catra. You reflect on the consequences of your actions like a good kitty-cat.

Sea Hawk surprisingly looks the part for a good noir protagonist.

In his own head, of course.

Is it just me, or is Frosta acting mature again? Hyperactive Little Sister Frosta is fun, but The Only Sane Person in the Room is a Literal Child Frosta would be a missed opportunity.

Oh no, Adora and Glimmer are fighting!

Yay, they were just pretending to catch Double Trouble!

Oh no…

“Boy’s Night Out” or, “How to Delight and Emotionally Destroy Your Audience At The Same Time”

Believe it or not, Sea Hawk possesses special abilities like the Princesses. Those being:

Great singing

Superhuman positivity

Nigh-invulnerability

I’m not sure if Madame Razz is a time-traveller, a Doctor, or just has some sort of Alzheimer’s, but regardless, I’m proud of how the crew handled it.

Swift Wind might be annoying at times but if showing concern for the elderly doesn’t make him a likeable character, I don’t what does.

Looks like I can add “Hero” to the list of She-Ra episodes that deserve an Emmy or Annie.

Words cannot describe how happy I was to see Scorpia pop-up in Bright Moon amid all the drama.

Glimmer is tip-toing the line between “pure-hearted character forced into morally grey responsibilities” and “grey-area wet wipe” and I am not loving it.

So between She-Ra, Huntara, and Scorpia, we all agree Perfuma has a type now, right?

I know it’s just Double Trouble making fun of her (and my love of Elvis Presley, Johnny Bravo, and Kishidan showing) but I think Adora looks pretty dang cool with a pompadour.

Beast Island: It’s Annihilation for Kids!

Yay, King Micha really is alive!

However, he still doesn’t have a wife to come back to and his daughter is making some poor life choices. Bummer.

Nice to see Bow’s still on the Hates Shadow Weaver bandwagon.

Entrapta’s got a Kamen Rider mask now and no one call me otherwise.

And she’s got a mecha that used Godzilla’s roar.

Well, even if my She-Ra-fan-heart is dying, my tokusatsu-geek-brain is happy.

How Entrapta adjusted to life on Beast Island is both nothing and everything I expected from her at the same time.

Well what do you know, Glimmadora saves lives!

BREAKING NEWS: Non-binary reptilian theatre-kid makes breakthrough with angry lesbian cat!

Light Hope, you’re breaking our hearts…

I’m glad that the show is hopping on the anti-power-up bandwagon as well. As someone who grew up with shows like Power Rangers where everything was immediately solved by new merchandise or powers, I get a sort of twisted satisfaction seeing that the shiny merchandisable new toy is more trouble than its worth.

Oh, and of course, it makes a for a good lesson on the danger of absolute power.

Before I started S4, I hated Horde Prime because he wasn’t a giant eldritch cyborg monster anymore, but I’ve actually gotten quite accustomed to his new design. Now I hate him for being a callous perfectionist world conqueror with no sense of personal space that may or may not be into selfcest.

(*praying intensely*) Please let Adora turn into She-ra through sheer-will power next season, please let Adora turn into She-ra through sheer-will power next season, please let

Yup, I was right! This season didn’t fix damn thing the last one broke!

[dirthavarens]

Nature (Dragatha)

Fandom: Dracula (2020)

Characters: Count Dracula, Agatha Van Helsing, Original Character(s) Relationship: Dracula/Agatha Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Word Count: 7,005 Summary: ‘Because you need to feed,’ she told herself too often. Nearly fifty years as a vampire and she still craved blood at every and any given moment. Vampires were like that. Vampires were like a lot of things. 

[READ ON AO3]

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Agatha Van Helsing never lost control .

A lie she told herself over and over. A vampire cannot betray its nature, not entirely, and she was testimony to that. No creature could overcome baser instincts, not when survival was at stake. 

The war had run her ragged, to the point of weeks without rest or proper feeding. She’d steal away for a moment, trying to find blood that wasn’t tainted by the smell of death. The human had to be alive. The dying were always her safest bet, those beyond chance of recovery, those left behind on the battlefield gasping for breath, the life leaving their eyes. 

Agatha discovered rather quickly that feeding from the dying had more negative side effects than it was worth, but she persisted. Her skin paled, her hair thinned, her hunger grew near intolerable. Times like those, she wished she had Dracula in her head, just so she could argue against what would be his very obvious answer of feed. 

She had tried and failed for forty-five long years, and she hardly wanted him awake to know of the chaos that currently ravaged the world. He would have a field day, taking whomever he so pleased. Scientists working to the bone to produce stronger, faster, more effective weapons of mass destruction. Generals and strategists, black operations agents, spies, warriors on both sides, hungry for bloodshed, for justice, for stability. 

Occasionally, she had argued with him, imagining him in her mind as she wandered the camps at night. He’d tell her to just give in, just a taste, just feed on one truly living soul and be done with it. Any vampire with a brain still in their skull would. It was natural for her to be starved, to want every ounce and then imbibe in even more. She was a vampire, after all, and vampires were not as complicated as she had conjectured.

“Something to eat, a bit of company.”

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  She had been on the earth for eighty-seven years, over half of which had been spent in a state of undead, dracul, nosferatu; A vampire. 

And the death around her, seeping into her bones, reminded her constantly. Every day another bone to set, another amputation, another transfusion. Blood was around her constantly, stale and fresh, and she felt her patience dwindle by the second. She would bark at nurses, throw instrument trays, snap saws in half with her hands. All to keep her fangs from showing, her eyes from flooding crimson; anything to abate the beast she so vehemently claimed not to be.

Agatha drew in a breath as the morning sun crept into the tent, bathing her pallid face in its iridescence. She hadn’t fed in over two weeks. Too many deaths too quickly. Too much work to do, not enough sleep in the world, and not a second to herself. 

She turned to the clock that ticked away at the wall. Six-thirty, a whole two hours of sleep and she was awake again, ready to take on yet another blood-soaked day. Agatha sat up, stretched, and grabbed at her head, thumbs massaging at her temples. Had she not gone through this several times in the past, she would have never guessed vampires could even have headaches. 

‘Because you need to feed,’ she told herself too often. Nearly fifty years as a vampire and she still craved blood at every and any given moment. Vampires were like that. Vampires were like a lot of things. 

An unfamiliar face walked into the doctor’s resting tent, an accented ‘knock, knock’ sounding before a man presented himself. 

Agatha turned her head to take the man before her in. He was little taller than she was, though that hadn’t said much as she was a particularly tall woman. He was young, his olive uniform without stains, life in his eyes, brunette hair cut neatly under his beret. A french soldier, clearly. 

“Pardon, madame. I thought this was the tent of the off-duty doctors. I’m afraid I may be a little lost.” The young man’s hurried speech gave Agatha’s headache no relief, and her thin patience no quarter. The assumption, however, she was used to. No man wanted to submit his life to the hands of a woman when healthy. They didn’t care whose hands brought them back to life, pleading for the pain to stop, begging for morphine, for death.

She shook the thought from her head and dropped her hands into her lap. “No, you’re in the right place. I’m Dr. Van Helsing, you may call me Agatha. What can I do for you?” 

“I heard there was a lady-doctor!” He straightened his posture. “I am Corporal-Major Mathieu de la Fontaine. Please, forgive my presumptuous behavior?” 

At least he had manners. 

“I was to report for a physical, madame. My platoon just arrived, my lieutenant directed me to your tent,” explained the Corporal-Major as Agatha stood. She made sure not to step too closely to him so soon after waking. The sound of a relaxed pulse in such a high-stress environment would sing too sweetly to her. “If you wish, I can wait until another doctor comes by, perhaps?”

She looked him over and shook her head. “No, that won’t be necessary. Why did he send you to the off-duty tent?” 

Mathieu frowned, his discomfort plain on his face. “The active tents are..” 

“Being used for more pressing matters. I see,” Agatha finished for him and the pitcher of water on the desk. “Might I offer you something to drink while I fetch the forms? We don’t keep them in here.” 

“Oui, j’ai soif. But I have the necessary papers here,” he said as he reached into the pocket of his vest. She grabbed the papers offered to her and immediately started reading over them. “Name, date of birth, all of the information you could need down to my blood type.”

“O-positive,” she muttered to herself. Good. He could possibly be of great use, maybe even save lives. “Do you know how valuable your blood is, Monsieur de la Fontaine?” 

“I heard that vampires prefer O-negative,” he joked with a laugh, his teeth still white and all in place. If only he understood how funny the situation truly was. “I apologize, I shouldn’t make such jokes during war.”

“One should always cling to humor, even in dark times such as these. It makes managing stress a little easier.” Agatha smiled at him and directed him to take a seat on the cot opposing her own. She could hear his pulse as he walked by her. Slow, unperturbed, untainted. “Besides, I think vampires would be more likely to choose victims based on who they are and not what type of blood they have.”

She poured him a glass of water, handed it to him, and continued reading over admission charts. He had earned his rank quite rapidly early in the war, but clearly had time to rest between then and now. How that was possible with the Nazis having nearly seized all of France was beyond her, but she would not question it. 

He was twenty-seven, approximately 180 centimeters, 80 kilograms, no visual or hearing impairments. No history of breathing trouble, was vaccinated for Polio…

The more Agatha read, the more she wondered why he had even been in need of a physical. Or why he was even in a war at all. He had a law degree from the University of Bordeaux. 

“Alright, Corporal Major,” she began as she strode to a small filing cabinet filled with extra supplies. “I’m going to have to ask you to strip.” 

His physical went without a hitch, though Agatha could hear his pulse like it was beating in her own ears. He carried an interesting scent, most of the French did. History was important to them, culture, and all of those sweet indulgences she had refrained from in life.

“Van Helsing,” he started as he fixed his beret in place. “That is not an English name.”

“No, it isn’t. My family is Dutch. I guess you can say I’ve lived in England most of my life.” Most of her afterlife, at least. 

“How fortunate for us that you are here. My life could be in no better hands, I’m sure of it. I’ve never seen anyone with such a steady posture,” he returned with another smile before leaving the tent, completed forms in-hand. 

Agatha realized then that she had been holding her breath during the examination, careful not to take in too much of the young man. She did not need to know his plans, where he was going to be, when he’d be alone.

Her day passed with agonizing slowness, each action seeming tedious as she cleaned infections and set up infusions. Infusions. She had to make a note of de la Fontaine, to suggest him to another possible donor, but did not want to imply she wished to do the task. 

By the end of her shift, she was covered in a slew of liquids ranging from blood to she wasn’t quite sure, but it smelled worse than death. And a vampire knew the stench of death better than most. The sun was setting in the sky and she knew what awaited her. She had a full night to herself, a full night of rest, a full night of hunger. 

“Dr. Van Helsing!” 

A newly familiar voice caught her attention as she went to hit the nearest body of water. She needed to feel clean, if only for a moment.

“Corporal-Major. How are you settling in?” She did not want to see him right now, but was polite all the same. 

“Very well, all things considered. I saw you working earlier and thought maybe you could use a drink?”

If he only knew.

Agatha shook her head and watched his smile drop a little. How hopeful and full of life the young were. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t wish he would hold to it. “I’m afraid I’m in desperate need of some form of cleaning.” 

“The baths are usually occupied with the men,” Mathieu returned with a frown, his smile gone. 

“And most don’t mind when a woman walks in, I assure you,” she noted, her words sardonic. Even a four-hundred year old vampire had more control of his tongue than they did. “I have somewhere private I like to go.” 

“Perhaps after?” He was a persistent thing and Agatha turned the idea over in her head. 

While she did not drink alcohol, or at least hadn’t tried to, since receiving Communion nearly half a century ago, perhaps there was no harm in the company of a few happy faces. After all, humans were social creatures and his life would most likely be snuffed out on the battlefield. Agatha had been a friend of death at this point and knew she would be able to handle it should he grow on her.

“Perhaps,” she echoed. 

He gave her the information of where he would be and who he would be with if all went according to plan. She nodded, made sure she stressed that there was a possibility of her absence, and continued her trek away from camp. 

There was a waist-deep creek a couple hundred yards from camp, hidden amongst trees too thick to fight through. It was her private place to bathe, to think, to escape the gurgles of the dying. When she came to it, she stripped bare and sank into the cool water, mindful to not step on any possible life underfoot. 

Agatha closed her eyes and let her chest still as she submerged herself in the water, her body sinking to the bottom. Of all the benefits being a vampire had, being able to lie at the bottom of that particular creek was squarely number one on her list at that moment.

She was still for nearly half an hour, her mind playing memories like films in a theatre. Some were her own, others were his, and all of them eased her tense muscles, an unfortunate side effect of not feeding. She could find an animal, surely, but they provided little energy. There were many ways Agatha could feed. The dying, the sick, those too weak to carry on. She could steal donations.

She wouldn’t. The dying still had living blood, but they were exhausted, often emotional and frantic. The ones resigned to death already tasted as such and she would be sick for days after feeding on the ill.

She considered drinking from the Germans, but she would sooner be staked than dine on a Nazi. To hear those thoughts in her head...No, bullets would suffice. Mortars would suffice. She would sooner let the streets run with their blood than dare to feed from one.

The answer was plain, but she refused. She was more than a beast. She knew herself and understood the rules by which she lived. Agatha had taken an oath as a doctor to help any life in need. She could not feed on the living, she mustn’t, and her fists clenched as she rose from the water. 

Agatha breathed in and opened her eyes to see the sun had at last gone to rest. Dark enough to wash, dark enough to relax, dark enough to sneak back to base without anyone noticing; her clean uniform a blessing for which she’d never be grateful enough. 

She caught sight of new faces as she entered the camp. All varying ages, some clearly lying to make themselves older, others very obviously lying about medical conditions, not that the lieutenant-colonel cared. He had lives to waste ever since the Americans joined a few months prior. Those were the truly fresh faces, the ones ready and eager for blood, for glory.

Their enthusiasm wouldn’t survive the week, but hopefully they would.

She spotted the Corporal-Major among some other new individuals and cursed herself when he met her eye and waved her over. Agatha knew she had belabored her answer, but apparently that had meant little to the young man as he reached down and pulled two bottles of wine from a sac.

“I know we’re not supposed to have them, but I couldn’t resist. English wine doesn’t...settle right.” A laugh, the other men joining in. They were French, too. Mathieu looked to Agatha. “Lady’s choice. Red or white?”

“I enjoy both,” she said reflexively, damning herself. They weren’t her words. “Enjoyed, I should say. I don’t drink.”

“Mon amie!  That won’t do. Middle of a war and you don’t drink? How ever do you settle your nerves?” His response earned him an impartial smile. “You’ll return to your husband a hysterical mess.” 

Her husband?

She glanced at her ring and felt something ache inside of her, overriding her hunger for a moment. The weight pressed upon her chest and burrowed into the pit of her throat. He was definitely no husband. She wouldn’t even begin to entertain such an idea. It was entirely laughable. 

“Ah, Dr. Van Helsing, je désolé,” de la Fontaine’s voice broke through her thoughts and she blinked at him, confused. “You must miss him very much.”

She did.

“He’s probably sleeping. It seemed to be his favorite pastime before I left.” She brushed the subject off, burying the memory of him as best she could before smiling at Mathieu. “Red.” 

“I knew you were a woman of taste. Now that we’ve made the important decisions, I would like to introduce you to some members of my platoon.” 

She learned the names of each man, all coming from different backgrounds but all ready to get back into the action. They were confident, placing much on faith, and as the cork popped out of the bottle, they cheered. 

Mathieu handed her the bottle first, a grin on his face. 

It struck her then, that in the months she had been there, no one once invited her to do such a thing. Naturally, she had patients in for consultations, follow-ups before they were flown out of the zone. Occasionally, a man would wander into her tent and she would be forced to break a finger or two, secretly delighting at the snap of their quick but effective punishment. 

They’d say nothing, of course, lest they compromise themselves in the process. 

She reached for the bottle and breathed the scent of the wine in. The spirit smelled nearly unrecognizable to her, bitter, too harsh. An idea struck her then. This was nothing more than another test. 

Can vampires drink alcohol or consume anything that was not blood?

She brought the bottle to her lips and took a slow sip, letting it soak her tongue before swallowing. 

Her stomach churned almost immediately and she swore she could hear his voice calling her foolish. She handed the bottle back, her hand coming to her mouth, before she hurriedly shuffled away. Agatha bent over, grabbing at the nearest object to support herself as her body purged itself of the wine. She looked to her right, to see that it was Mathieu holding her steady and immediately felt embarrassed, searching for an excuse. 

“Are you alright? I know the English don’t have taste, but it couldn’t have been that bad.” He was a poor liar and even worse at hiding his emotions. His concern might as well have had flashing neon lights pointing to it. Agatha heard his quickening pulse drumming wildly. The rapid tempo of the deep pumps of his heart.

“I’ll be fine. I haven’t eaten since yesterday? The day before? I should have known better than to try alcohol as my first meal,” she explained, not entirely lying. She couldn’t remember the last time she fed. She wiped her mouth as she fixed her posture. “I think it would be wise if I retired for the night.” 

Mathieu nodded, let her go, but did not move away from her. “Let me assist you back to your tent. I will not see a sick woman go unattended.” 

“I appreciate the concern, but I am a war physician and have been through much worse than a stomach ache. I will be fine. Please, return to your men and give them my warm wishes.” Agatha would not be alone with someone so healthy now that her stomach demanded proper feeding, snarling furiously at her. 

He gave a moment’s pause, frowning at her, but acquiesced to her wishes. She could feel his eyes on her back as she walked back to her section of camp. 

The sounds of the camp layered in her mind as she tried to find sleep, turning restlessly upon her cot. Everything within her pushed her out of bed and she sat up, her stare empty as she tried to cling to rationality. Logic could not play here, logic would tell her to feed. Rationality considered the great possibility of consequence.

Her nails extended and hardened faster than she had ever felt them. She grit her teeth as she felt them scrape against the metal, screeching unpleasantly. If she let go, and she knew she mustn’t, Agatha would find herself unable to save herself. She needed a minute. 

Just a minute. 

One… Minute… 

Her eyes slipped shut as she drew in a breath and searched for a familiar face. He was the last person she needed to see, the one who would tempt her forward, let go, release the beast. But he was there, nonetheless, staring at her from the sea, the water to his chest in the grey light of morning. 

One…

Her time in Transylvania. Crimson turned black in the moonlight as it poured in from the small window. The pillows stained as a gurgle sounds in a throat, a cry from another. 

Min…

Jonathan Harker before her, telling her the story of Count Dracula as his fiancee sat to her left. She had been such a frightened girl and with great cause. Her basement, her study, her refuge. 

His memory. 

How wonderful she had tasted on his lips. He had torn through a convent, armed and ready with wolves, but for all the entertainment… She was the unexpected main course. And she could feel his teeth sinking into her neck as if they were her own.

...minu…

His blood on her tongue as she suckled at his wrist. 

Breathe.

Agatha shot up, her jaw unclenching as her eyes opened, and looked out into the night. She had been trying to sleep for nearly five hours, but could not stand to be around others any longer. The glorious stench of blood was too close to her and she would not let herself lose control. 

An animal.

She would find something small, something to curb her appetite enough to sleep. The watch was doubled at night and she would have to be careful. Nothing she hadn’t done before, nothing she wouldn’t have to do a thousand times more before this damned war was over, it seemed. 

Agatha found her escape and took it, slipping into the forest and wasted not a second getting as deep as she could. Gunfire sounded in the background, most animals would be hiding, then. She would have to locate them by sound. 

She heard a heartbeat, too close, too strong, too human.

Too soon. 

“Mon amie?” 

Dammit.

“Mathieu, what are you doing out here?” she asked without turning around to look at him. If she looked, he would see, he would know, and she would have to either kill him or drug him. “You should be back at base.”

She heard his weight shift, a sigh leaving his lips as his heart rate settled. So strong, so lively beneath his skin, she could still hear the pump, pump, pumping away in his chest. She raked her claw against the inside of her palm to keep time with it. 

“I could say the same for you,” he replied, voice neither defending nor accusing. “But I could not sleep and decided to inspect our surroundings, see if there were any vantage points for Hitler’s puppets to have.” 

He took a step forward, misplaced his footing, tripped, stumbled, caught himself on a tree. 

Agatha instinctively turned to help but was drawn to his hand. Bark and dirt may have gotten in the way, but the aroma was undeniable. 

She clenched her fists, damning every aspect of her existence, cursing Dracula to stay in his box and rot. They settled on it not having been entirely his fault, but it was easier to blame him when he refused to listen to her, refused to answer her. 

“Nothing to fret over, ju--”

Agatha was inches away from him, his hand in hers as she inspected the wound. It was nothing more than a scrape but the potency of his blood was irresistible. 

“Dr. Van Helsing?” he called, his pulse increasing. She refused to look up, refused to look at him as she stared down at the red in the night. “Your teeth…” 

“Yes, they do that.” She was caught. “I’m a vampire.” 

She turned to him, sparing him nothing as she released his wrist. Her teeth jagged, eyes red, and claws sharp to points… 

“They aren’t real,” Mathieu protested, refusing to believe what was in front of him. Another Adisa. “Dracula is a fictional character, a silly creature from a picture made to scare people.” 

She brought a finger to his lips, silencing him. “I have lain with the Devil and know him plain. And he is far more terrifying than any film will ever be able to portray.” 

He stared blankly at her, unsure of how or where to move. She could smell his indecision in the air and took advantage of it. Agatha threw him to the ground and listened to the way his ribs cracked beneath her force. She grabbed his face in her hand and tilted his neck, holding it to expose as much flesh as possible, her fingers tightening. His jaw snapped under the pressure, the pain causing him to cry out. The sweet note echoing in her ears as she stared at the artery pounding furiously at his throat.

He tried to say something, tried to protest, but she gnashed her teeth into his skin, sinking deep into his artery and drank. She could hear the snap of his neck, as she pushed harder against his smashed jaw. His life flooded into her, his memories, his dreams…

------------------------------------------------------------

 Agatha gasped as her eyes opened. The light of the day was fading as she lay tangled up on the couch in her study. Dracula’s naked body curled tighter against her and drew her closer, placing a kiss at her temple. She pressed into him, secretly delighting in the comfort of his hold. 

The study was the darkest room in the house, save the cellar, and he refused to sleep in the box of dirt that she, in fact, brought from Transylvania. Her bedroom had too thin of curtains for him to be comfortable laying in while she slept. 

“Everything alright?” he asked quietly after some time of holding her, his breath creeping over her skin as he spoke. 

“I’m fine, just hungry,” she replied and shrugged out of his grip, immediately missing the warmth and pressure of him against her. 

“Nightmare, I take it?” He sat up after her, following her with his eyes as she stood and took a few steps forward. 

“You weren’t listening?” She turned to face him, genuinely surprised.

“Not this time,” he hummed cheekily, his eyes moving hungrily over her form. “You looked exhausted this morning after our shower. I figured you could use some time to recuperate. I did it for fifty years, I won’t fault you a few hours.”

“So you just what? Stayed on the couch all day?” 

His brows knit together defensively at her question as though trying to think of a smart remark. But his face relaxed as he leaned back against the cushions, sighing in defeat. 

Her dream nearly made her forget that she had finally fished him out of the sea. Seeing him stretching against her couch, faking a yawn, gave her all the reassurance she needed. When he stood and pecked her lips, she was doubly reassured.

“What else was I supposed to do? You are the worst vampire in the history of vampires, one dark room, while the rest of the place is swimming in sunlight,” he shivered, repulsed by the very notion of stepping into the sun. She would break him of it in time. 

Her stomach twisted in a knot and she gave an annoyed breath. Ever since she fed from him the night prior, Agatha hadn’t been able to rid herself of her hunger. Not during their short break, where he begrudgingly accepted the glass she poured him, not before she went to sleep, not now. 

Her reserves were well-stocked once she knew for certain that she was waking him, she would manage.

“You could have gotten up, I would have gone back to sleep. There are plenty of books in here to read and I doubt you would have been bored,” she returned, her voice unintentionally sharp. With a breath, she relaxed. “Come, I’m sure you’re hungry and you need to put clothes on. Neighbors are as nosy as old nuns and I don’t need them asking why there’s a naked man in my home.”

“Get thicker drapes.” He pressed his lips to her forehead and she went tense under him, her stomach flipping angrily again. “I don’t claim to be an expert, but I’m certain you’re supposed to be relaxed after sex, joyful even. Why don’t you tell me about your nightmare?”

“No,” she shot back as she opened the door, ensuring that the sun was down before stepping into the hallway. She took the short walk through the hall and stopped at her bedroom door, knowing full well that it was not going to be an easy sight to see. 

However, Agatha had not anticipated the magnitude of the destruction they caused. It looked like a crime scene.

The sheets were torn, jumbled mess on the floor along with her pillows, both stained with blood. The wood of her headboard had an impressive chunk splintered from it and the mattress was just slightly askew on the frame. She blinked as she stepped inside, immediately gathering the sheets and comforter in her hands. There was no saving them, and she’d need at least a new headboard. Maybe metal. 

Had they really been that rough?

Yes. 

Had she enjoyed herself as much as the heat dripping down to her core at the memory?

More. 

The sheets were discarded, they were dressed, and the room was cleaned. Dracula mainly talked about nothing important, trying to lure her back into the bed. As enticing as the idea was her hunger gnawed at her interminably, closing off her mind to anything else. 

“You really don’t feed from the vein?” he asked as he stood in her kitchen once again, Agatha grabbing the decanter from the liquor cabinet. “Agatha, you know you’re starving yourself.”

“It suffices,” she replied, voice even. The thought of feeding from a living human appealed to her less when he provoked her. “Not everyone is as gluttonous as you.”

“Gluttony or not, you’re still feeling my hunger. You and I both know that you won’t be satisfied until you’ve drunk your fill from the nearest vagrant,” he postulated, his hand covering hers around the thick glass container, the blood within swayed. She released the neck of the decanter, letting him take it and grabbed two glasses from the same cabinet. Two, beautiful, crystal, custom designs etched into them. 

He caught them in his peripheral and felt like marble, a breath. He approved. “But you… you, don’t feed from vagrants, do you? Agatha, have I rubbed off on you?”  

She set the glasses in front of him with little patience, ignoring his poor attempts at getting her to admit to something he already knew. Agatha was a woman of logic, she always had been, but the way he stared at her, a wolf, had her clenching her teeth. Her hunger grew. The tempter, the snake in the garden. 

“No, I don’t. I feed from specifically selected people based on health. Donations.”

“Donations,” he echoed, disappointed as he poured them each a glass. “It’s unlike you to take advantage of people.”

A drop of guilt fell through her and spread through her veins. He spoke the truth, but she had little other choice. Either take the bags or risk taking lives. It was simple but felt wrong, not entirely aligned with the urges gnashing their teeth from within. His urges. 

Damn him.

Agatha looked at the fine crystal, the liquid within causing her to salivate, swallowing as her gaze shifted to the much thicker glass of the decanter. While imprudent and nearly uncivilized, the gifts she had made for them--no, just for him, they were no couple--would remain unharmed. She could feel him watching her, studying her, and wondered what she must look like. Her silence deafening as she stood, motionless, her eyes shifting between the glass and the decanter. Self-control or submission.

“Agatha,” he mouthed, letting his breath form her name as it left his lips. Dracula knew what weighed her down, what bore so relentlessly through her, just as he knew the only proper solution. 

With a breath, Agatha shifted her weight and took the glass he offered. There was a glint of surprise in his expression when she moved her gaze to him. He was only six inches taller than her, but he towered over her, the constant abyss that lured her in.

“Cheers.” He raised his glass to hers, his eyes darkening as he brought it to his lips.She was too busy drinking to make a snide remark about his inability to control his histrionics. 

The liquid streamed down her throat with ease as she finished it quickly. Agatha opened her eyes, having not realized she closed them and saw him still watching her. He hadn’t moved, the rim of the glass resting comfortably at his bottom lip, the blood no closer to his mouth. 

“I said before that I was hungry, it is your doing, after all,” she specified as the grips of her hunger made no attempts to loosen. “Go on, I think you’ll find it to your liking.” 

He sniffed at the contents of his before taking a sip. A chilling grin spread upon his lips, jagged edges of his teeth visible, as he brought the glass down. His claw tapped lightly at the glass as he ruminated on the flavors; his smile grew before he finished it, gluttonous as always. The veneer chipping away.

As if she was one to talk. 

Another glass shared between them both and then another, draining the decanter as Dracula probed her, antagonizing the beast of her hunger. He relented only when the container was empty. 

“Alright, Agatha, have it your way. But I still need to feed properly and I’m sure the people are very much alive, war being over and all that. The victorious afterglow of battle is a beautiful thing, fills your chest with so much...life.” His words sent a chill to the center of her spine, splintering off like lightning through her nerves.

“Surely you don’t think I’m going to let you leave to do as you please?” Agatha watched as he turned on the sink, rinsing his glass out and then hers, setting them carefully into the basin below. 

“No, I don’t. In fact, I expect you to accompany me,” returned the Count with a smirk. “I know you’ll follow me if I decide to leave on my own. But I’d much rather have you at my side while the night is still young.”

“A moonlit stroll?”

“If nothing else. I’ve been in a box for fifty years, I need to stretch my legs, get a taste for what life is like. I need information and your bags aren’t giving me enough,” he said as he stood close to her and took her hands in his. The Count’s thumb traced over the ring on her finger, his face softening almost imperceptibly. 

Against her better judgment, Agatha agreed to his proposal, shoving a flask in her coat before they left, just in case. 

They walked for what seemed like eternity, winding up and down streets, through alleys, all in silence. Agatha thought it wise to keep moving, lest she catch an all too enticing scent on the breeze. She thought for a moment, wondered where they could go, and directed them towards the water. The cliffs were a beautiful sight and mostly peaceful. Since the war, it had been a place for the occasional petty crime. Drug deals, vandalization, indecent exposure twice on the same day, by the same man. 

He seemed preoccupied, lost in thought. His silence disturbed her and she contemplated listening in but tucked her arm under his instead. If they were going to be out this late at night, she might as well take every precaution to not get stopped by anyone. She could feel the flask burning in her pocket; craved what was inside of it, despite knowing she did not need it.

She wanted it. 

His pace slowed when he felt her worm her arm between his side and bicep, hooking into his elbow. No one had done that for centuries, not without prompting, not without his opiate, not without the promise of something more. She would never stop surprising him, even as he could hear the dam of her self-control splinter into ever growing faults. 

She needed to feed.

“Have you finally grown tired of hearing your own voice?” she asked when the silence became too heavy.

“Never.” He wore the grin of an alleycat as they walked farther along the cliff. The water below them churned against the rocks, a sound so familiar she was able to tune it out and focus on his words. “I figured you would want to give me a tour to keep me from draining someone dry. But don’t worry, I’ll be sure to drain your stockpile when we get back.” 

“Of that I have no doubt,” she admitted and pulled her arm from him. He let out a breath of disapproval and pulled her back to him, hand tight around her waist. “Afraid I’ll wand--”

She could smell it. 

Fresh, alive, a numbing song in her head as she struggled for control over the snarling monstrosity within her. How could she have not noticed it earlier? How did she not hear, not know? Dracula had been…

He’d been silent. 

“Count Dracula!” She struggled against him as his other hand came around her and held her back to his chest. “Release me at once.”

“Need I remind you that it was you who led me here? My dear, you’ve been sniffing out something to eat this whole time.” His accusation burned like fire at her ears and she shoved her elbow into his chest. “You can’t fight it forever, you know.” 

“I most certainly can, now release me so I can assess the situation. I’m a doctor and there is clearly someone in need of assistance. Stay here. I don’t want you killing a possible patient.”

He gave an annoyed growl and let her go, Agatha sparing not a second to hunt down the scent. She felt starved, nearly mad with hunger as her feet delivered her to the scene, blood staining the ground black in the moonlight. 

A young woman. Red of hair, short and unconscious on the ground. There was blood pooling from a wound in her abdomen. Agatha knelt beside the girl, no more than twenty-five, and began inspecting her, trying to bring her to consciousness. But her blood sang to the former nun, lilting sweet poetry to the beast within her, mesmerizing, astounding, addictive, alive.

Something in her broke, and her fingers entered the wound. Hot, inviting, untainted. No organs had been harmed, and Agatha curled her fingers, tearing at the flesh of the woman’s abdomen, and brought them to her mouth as she heard an agonized moan from below.

Discordant, pitiful, and a distraction as Agatha lapped every last trace of blood from her fingers. She brought her free hand to hold the girl’s--Anna’s--mouth shut and looked down at the poor thing with blood-tinged eyes. “Please, be still. For both of our sake. I won’t be long.” 

‘ Don’t be slop-- ’ 

She shut him out of her mind as she clamped down on the girl’s carotid. With a snarl, Agatha tore it from her neck and descended upon the human’s neck, drinking deeply, greedily. Her hand dipped into the wound once more, tearing it open, wanting to feel as the body went limp from the inside. 

There was a surge of energy in her veins, a gnawing that told her to drink deeper, every drop, every last whisper. And she obeyed, clutching at the open wound, crawling under the skin to be closer to her heart. So shallow, so nearly empty, but the organ persisted. Agatha pressed down, cracking ribs between her fingers as she dug, face parting from the woman’s neck as the blood began to bitter. 

Only when she could feel the very nearly still heart, did Agatha’s hand steady. With her mind in a frenzied haze, she gripped the organ and tore it from the corpse. The final shreds of life that drizzled into her throat were magnificent, directly from the source, not the vein. Her fangs sank into a valve, ensuring the last drops were not spared, when she heard him behind her, a low, approving rumble sounding in his chest.

He lowered himself beside her with a hand at her back, careful to fix his attire as he crouched. Agatha released the heart and dropped it to the lifeless body below. Her eyes were nearly black as she panted before him, blood hot on her breath and teeth covered in bits of muscle and shards of bone.

“You may understand the rules of the beast, but not even you can turn your back on its nature,” Dracula finalized as he reached for her face, cupping her bloodsoaked cheek. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you waking like that again.” 

She was beyond shame, drenched in the blood of another, as she looked upon him. Stilling in his hold, Agatha was unsure if she should lean into his touch or snap his wrist. Her body made the decision for her as she fell back, away from the corpse, and away from him. She swallowed as her eyes befell the horror of her work.

It reminded her of an infamous killer who had stalked the streets nearly sixty years prior. She had caught wind of the massacres in a letter from her detective friend, asking if it could possibly be the work of a vampire or other supernatural being. It was possible, but the man was never caught and went silent after completing his work.

“Pull yourself together, Agatha. You’ve seen much worse than this,” he started absently as he scooped the body from the ground, tucking the heart in the cavity she created. Dracula peered over the cliff, sizing the distance, and let the corpse plummet into the frothing waters below without sticking around to see if it hit the bottom. “There you go. Back on your feet. Feeling better?”

She stood as he turned around and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. It did little to fix her appearance, but the way Dracula looked at her would convince a blind man otherwise. She shivered at the sight, curling in on herself as she swayed between disgust and satisfaction. He was right. A beast can only deny its nature for so long, but she was more than such a creature.

She had to be. 

[notapaladin]

one day we will be remembered

look i go BATSHIT FERAL over soulmate AUs so the fact that everyone in obsblood comes with a day sign that might be shared by dozens of people? that’s a good setup for one!

Also on AO3

-

Everyone in the Fifth World has a soulmate. Some people are born with another’s day sign seared into the thin flesh of their inner wrists; others only find it igniting their skin as they linger on Mictlan’s threshold. Children dream about meeting their tonalli’s other half, though most in time settle for people their families know and trust. There are many infants born each day, after all, and you would sooner have your Eight Death be the girl next door instead of the flat-faced, knock-kneed spinster across the canal. (Then your girl runs off with a lover, you marry the spinster anyway because she’s good with your children, and you find she makes you smile as the beautiful one never did. Fate has a way of working these things out.)

Acatl is twelve years old when he wakes with a strangled scream in the middle of the night to discover why it is that soulmarks, which don’t look much like burns, are always described as lighting up your veins. When it’s over, he blinks back tears, swallows the blood in his mouth—he’s bitten the inside of his cheek, and now it will swell and he’ll probably keep biting it for the next three days—and holds up his wrist to the moonlight. There is a number. There is a glyph.

“Ten Rabbit, huh?”

Cuixtli, the boy who always takes the mat next to him. He’d given Acatl a good kick for waking him up, but now he’s watching with fascination. He was one of the lucky ones—his soulmark came a few days after birth, and he’s accordingly been betrothed to the most likely local girl almost since then. Unfortunately, this doesn’t make him any less interested in others’ matches, and he grins as he looks Acatl over. “You’ll have some waiting to do. At least you can still play around ‘till you meet your girl, huh?”

He takes a slow breath. His skin still feels raw all over, too sensitive in the night air. The students of the calmecac are meant to be dignified, which is the only reason he doesn’t punch Cuixtli for that. He has no intention of playing around. He’ll meet her or he won’t, but either way he’ll live a good, temperate life. After all, he might be a priest if he completes his schooling. Priests have no soulmates. “We can’t all be like you.”

(She’ll be much younger than him. If they ever meet, they’ll be strangers. The soulmate bond guarantees a heart he’ll find pleasing, but that’s no substitute for knowing what she’s like. She might be arrogant, or cruel, or too stubborn for him to stand.)

(If the gods made a soulmate for him, he’s starting to think it might not be a girl at all, which is not comforting in the least.)

Cuixtli pats his shoulder, ignoring his flinch. “Cheer up, I’m sure you’ll meet her eventually.”

“Hm.” He looks down at his soulmark again. Fresh, it’s a healthy crimson with each line of the glyph picked out as precisely as any scribe’s pen. Carefully, he runs his thumb over it and is relieved when the touch doesn’t bring more pain, even though it’s still glowing faintly. He knows it will burn again and turn white when he meets her—if he meets her. He thinks she’ll probably be disappointed.

“Can you get me a bandage?”

There are other things to worry about, after all.

And so Acatl grows, and learns, and devotes himself first to the service of the gods and then to his fellow men, and as time passes he finds that he rarely, if ever, looks past the traditional white wristwraps of a priest of the Dead to see if the mark of his soulmate remains. Whoever they are, they’ll just have to be alone. Perhaps they’ll be happy anyway.

(He is not lonely. He is not. Even when his parents, furious at his decision, throw the mark in his face—Your soulmate is alive out there, Acatl, how can you forsake her?—he does not waver.)

(And if he cries, it is only the dust.)

& &

Teomitl is born with his soulmark, but it takes a day or two for anyone to notice. There is the lady Huitzilxochtin’s funeral to plan, after all. She, a great lady of the court with her husband’s day sign on her wrist as proof that they were destined for one another, lived just long enough to kiss her son’s forehead and whisper his name before walking into the Sun’s heaven, and with all that to deal with it is some time before anyone checks the boy for a mark.

It’s his nursemaid who finds it; she immediately tells her superiors, who tell his father Tezozomoc, who rushes into the women’s quarters to exclaim over his son’s good fortune at already having the other half of his heart in the world. Six Reed is an auspicious enough date; true, the number itself is unlucky, but those born on Reed days are great lovers of justice which will hopefully balance it out. The only snag is that she might be much older than him; there is no greater sorrow for an imperial youth then to have a soulmate who cannot bear him children.

They start parading girls in front of him immediately, of course. By the time he is old enough to enter calmecac, he’s met every noble maiden in the Triple Alliance—even the ones who aren’t the right day sign. You never know where your next marriage alliance will come from, after all. They’re...nice enough, he supposes. Most of them are pretty, and some of them have more interests than weaving and music to talk about. But they don’t set the mark on his wrist afire, and so he does not encourage friendship.

(He’s spent a lot of time wondering what she’d be like, this woman with his sign of Ten Rabbit on her wrist. He imagines she’d be much more interesting than any average court lady.)

Calmecac brings its own challenges. His friends there encourage him to branch out, to seek his soulmate or at least a few nights’ pleasure in a market girl or a sacred courtesan, and he finds himself shutting them down with a snarl before he can even think why. When they ask, he doesn’t know what to say.

So he tells them the truth, and they laugh in his face. That’s another few hours of punishment for starting a brawl, but it’s honestly worth it. (His soulmate will be the sun in his sky, a beauty beyond compare. He will never want anyone else.) They don’t laugh at him after that. Soon he begins weapons training in earnest, learning the ways of spear and sword and bow, and they don’t laugh at all.

He goes to war, takes a prisoner, shaves his head. By this time he knows himself well enough—knows the kind of person he is, the way his heart turns—to walk through the lines of captive men too, waiting for heat at his wrist that never comes. It would be a relief, except that it means his soulmate is still out there somewhere waiting.

(He hopes they’re waiting. He hopes they’re healthy, happy, not as lonely as he is—but he hopes that they look at their wrist and wonder.)

He has been freshly made a Leading Youth, the bright dye of his new cloak still a surprise each morning, when Guardian Ceyaxochitl summons him. Her voice is firm, eyes stern, as she tells him, “Mictlantecuhtli’s High Priest needs an extra pair of hands to deal with the matter of Priestess Elueia’s disappearance. You’ll do.”

He’s heard of the new High Priest. Acatl-tzin is supposed to be young for his position, just thirty, and the Guardian was very keen on his appointment even though he’s the son of peasants from the Atempan calpulli. More importantly, he remembers beautiful, terrified Elueia, and his heart aches.

Of course he says yes, and of course he runs up the steps of Lord Death’s temple as quickly as he can. Now is his chance to prove himself, to do more than take a single prisoner for the Sun’s nourishment. He’d be a fool to do otherwise.

Then he sees the man he came for, and the world goes still around him.

He’s not what Teomitl expected for his soulmate—not beautiful or wealthy or tall, not a strong warrior or a noble maiden dressed in gold. He’s only a bit taller than Teomitl himself, slender as a deer, with an expression that says he spends more time frowning than smiling. (Teomitl is almost glad for that. He’s sure that Acatl-tzin would be devastating if he smiled, and he doesn’t know if he can handle that just yet.) His hair is a glory, spilling down his back in waves, and he is not wearing a cloak. Teomitl finds himself grateful for the sizzling ache coursing up his left arm from the soulmark, because it’s a welcome distraction from the way an escaping lock of hair tumbles over bare skin.

He takes a breath. And another. Part of him wants to sob, wants to scream at the gods that it’s not fair—he’s finally found the other half of his soul, and he won’t even get to keep him. There will be no destined marriage such as his parents had; he’ll be lucky to so much as hold his hand. The rest of him remembers his pride and swallows down the pain.

He meets his soulmate’s eyes for the first time. They are darker than his own, narrowed with stress and tiredness and what he’s sure is pain. “You would be...Acatl-tzin?”

Your soulmate’s name on your lips resounds like a bell in their heart; Teomitl is impressed when Acatl doesn’t even flinch. Instead he nods, briefly averts his eyes, and says, “If it’s for a wake—“

A diligent, dutiful man. Teomitl would smile, if hearing his low voice didn’t serve as a reminder that they have a priestess to find. As for being his soulmate...well. He can bring that up later.

&

He’d had plans for that ‘later.’ They’d involved moonlight, flowers, a spread of delicate dishes from the palace kitchens. Things to tempt and flatter, things that would make Acatl smile and laugh and relax. (Maybe, just maybe, things that would turn Acatl’s heart towards him like a flower to the sun.)

They had not involved this.

Truthfully, he’s not sure he could have made a plan that included this. They’re on one of the Floating Garden’s thousands of islands, there is a dead and stinking beast of shadow practically right next to his ear, his leg is screaming in a way that suggests its claws did some serious muscle damage, and Acatl is bleeding horribly and liberally covered in mud.

Oh, and Acatl’s thrown a knife at him. Aiming for the beast, yes, but still in his direction. In the dark. At a moving target.

He’s angrily binding up Acatl’s wounds, muttering direly to himself about infection, when it slips out.

“...and no, you will not be fine, people die of wounds half as bad as these if they go rotten, Acatl-tzin—Duality, honestly, how did you give me a soulmate who’s so damned reckless—“

Acatl freezes under his hands. “Your—what did you say?”

Oh, gods. He’d said that out loud. He drops his gaze and prays that Acatl does the same with the subject. “I…” The words in his heart are locked behind a dam built of a lifetime’s longing, and he can’t force them out.

“Teomitl.”

If Acatl sounded angry or judgemental, Teomitl would snarl in his face. But he’s patient, and that’s what gets his tongue to work again even though he can’t take his eyes from the strips of cloth he’s winding around Acatl’s injured arm. “...Your day sign. Six Reed, isn’t it?”

Acatl draws in a shaky breath. Slowly, he nods.

He turns his hand over, showing Acatl the underside of his wrist. The lines of his soulmark burn white. Please accept me. Please. I don’t know, yet, if I love you—but I think that I could.

Acatl is silent. Teomitl lifts his head to find that he has his eyes shut, as though the truth is too painful to contemplate—but then he’s undoing the wristwrap on his injured arm in quick, jerky motions, letting it fall into the mud at his side, and Teomitl can’t look away from the glyph of his own day sign bone-white on Acatl’s skin.

“Ten Rabbit, in the year Ten Reed.”

Teomitl swallows past a sudden lump in his throat. “If you expect me to apologize—“

Acatl shakes his head. He still hasn’t met Teomitl’s eyes. “No. I should apologize. I felt it that day on the temple steps, but I…” He pauses, takes a breath, continues. “You are strong and brave, a warrior to make your family and the Empire proud—you ought to marry a woman and have a dozen children. I am...none of those things. Even were I not sworn to the service of Lord Death, I could give you none of the things you deserve.” Another breath, and he blinks once. “I simply cannot see a way forward for us.”

There are many ways forward when you’re the brother of the Revered Speaker, he doesn’t say. Acatl doesn’t need that revelation now, on top of everything else. But he’ll be damned if he lets this moment pass without saying something, and so he covers Acatl’s good hand with his own. (Acatl said us. He can work with that.) “Then we’ll make one, if you want.”

And now Acatl is looking at him in something like awe, and there’s a twitch to his mouth that might be the start of a smile. “Let’s get through this night, first.”

& &

They make it through the night. They make it through one week, another week, a month. Years.

And they make a way forward.

Acatl discovers it is much, much easier when your soulmate is the Revered Speaker of Tenochtitlan instead of merely the Master of the House of Darts under (the late, unlamented, unmourned) Tizoc. They still cannot marry, cannot live under the same roof—Teomitl offers, but rooms in the palace would suit Acatl ill and they both know it—but when you bear the Revered Speaker’s soulmark openly there is absolutely no one in the Empire who will bar you from his chambers. Officially Acatl will never have children, only a great many nieces and nephews, but Mihmatini places each of hers in her husband’s arms and tells her brother to give them their names. (Teomitl only once cries a little, out of sheer joy.)

Of course there are arguments and petty disagreements. Of course there are fights, hot and furious and leaving both of them shaken. (Just because they are each other’s souls divided doesn’t mean they are always in harmony, after all.) But they make up in the end, always, and go to their mat warm in each other’s arms. Acatl guards the boundaries, and his beloved guards the Empire. Neither of them are ever lonely again.

Only once, when they are old men, does Teomitl bring up the path they’ve made. “Acatl?”

“Hm?” He’s been trying to make it through a scribe’s report on pale-skinned strangers from the east for an hour, with little success. Teomitl’s offered to read it to him, but he declined—true, his vision is no longer what it once was and the glyphs are distressingly blurred, but he is not blind yet, thank you. He can still make out his soulmate’s face just fine, and can’t help but smile at the sight.

Teomitl tilts his head, frowning, and Acatl hopes he hasn’t forgotten what he was going to say already. Seventeen years ago a great flood swept the city, Chalchiuhtlicue’s rage battering down the walls; Teomitl, trapped under the debris, had been lucky to survive. In Acatl’s estimation, injuries that preclude him being able to fight alongside his army are a small price to pay for such a miracle. When he speaks, though, his voice is quiet and clear. “...Do you think we’ve done enough? For those who will come after us, I mean. I know we can’t be the only soulmates who...well.” He gestures between them, encompassing the decades they’ve spent living as the worst-kept secret in Tenochtitlan.

It’s a question worth thought, and he gives it its due. “I think...I think we can always do more.”

(Even at the very end, when they’re averting the destruction of their world hand in bloodied hand, he smiles and thinks We’ve made a very good start.)

[blackidyll]

It's been a long while since I've been on Tumblr, but here I am, trying to get back into my usual rhythm of life. Mainly: I'm alive, but I'm really, really tired.

The end of 2019/beginning of 2020 has been really insane. I fell sick for most of December - the whole cough/cold/sore throat trifecta that got so bad I finally ended up on antibiotics on New Year's Eve. I actually took two weeks of leave in December, but I was so sick and busy during this time that I basically got no rest whatsoever, and when I got back to work in January it was to drop straight into an absolute tsunami of work - one huge project ended the day before Chinese New Year, and immediately after CNY holidays I had another huge executive event to prepare for (I was working over weekends), and when that ended last week I got YET ANOTHER project dumped on me. Covid19 and the political situation in my home country is also taking its toll. I feel like the past two months has been an absolute blur - mostly of stress and negativity.

I'm so tired, you all.

Anyway, I'm trying hard now to pull back and strike a balance between work and having down proper time. I owe quite a few of you replies to messages and chats, and TBH there's like 60+ comments in my AO3 inbox that I haven't had a chance to respond to. I'm going to try hard over the next few weeks to get to all of them. I really appreciate every message and comment I get, because they constantly remind me there's still people and the entire world out there, when sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in my head with all my stresses and worries and the day-to-day grind.

I'm going to go throw a bunch of things in my queue to get this place kickstarted again, but in the meantime - have some fic recs. I've been reading a lot of fic to keep afloat the past three months; these are the WIPs I'm following at the moment. I'm completely out of creativity so my own fics will have to wait, but it always gives me a boost when I see some love for my WIPs, so if any of these appeal to you, give them a read and drop some love to those authors too.

The Bureau Files series by Catsafari [The Cat Returns, episodic/case style canon-based sequel; Baron/Haru]

i kill giants by diasterisms [Star Wars new trilogy; canon-based sequel to The Rise of Skywalker; Rey/Ben]

Ragnarǫkr, Part 3 of the Sharingan Rising series by weialala [Naruto; canon-divergence with supernatural elements; Sasuke-centric, technically Sasuke/Naruto but is more Sasuke's relations with everyone]

Peripeteia, Part 4 of the Carry Your Heart verse by mondaze [Shingeki no Kyojin; canon-based A/B/O verse, eventually diverges at the retake Shinganshina arc because Erwin lives (\o/); Erwin/Levi]

Just Another Day by Tierfal [Fullmetal Alchemist; post-manga series, Roy has severe PTSD; pre-relationship Roy/Ed]

try something new by gdgdbaby [Nezha (2019); post-movie oneshot where the two have grown up and gotten their bodies back; Nezha/Aobing]

WIPs that haven't been updated recently but since I'm on a roll, you all should read them:

Nukume Dori by Leareth [Tokyo Babylon, X/1999; canon-divergence, kind-of time travel with X!Subaru falling back into the TB!timeline with all his memories intact; Subaru/Seishirou, a lot of trio interactions with Hokuto] 

boy with a coin, Part 5 of the signal to noise series by twigcollins [The World Ends With You; post-game sequels exploring the consequences of Neku winning the long game and Joshua deciding to bring him back to life; Joshua/Neku]

(more info and my comments on each fic under the cut, because they get long)

The Bureau Files series by Catsafari [The Cat Returns, episodic/case style canon-based sequel; Baron/Haru]

I've been (re)watching Studio Ghibli movies on the weekends and I fell completely in love with The Cat Returns (I love Whisper of the Heart but I missed this movie somehow?). This wonderful sequel fic series focuses on an adult Haru that becomes a full-fledge member of the Cat Bureau and goes on plenty of adventures with the Bureau crew. It's also 500K words (!!!) of delicious slow slow slow SLOW burn between Baron and Haru. I just found out the author will be posting the next installation in the series this month, so you know. Perfect time to read the existing content and then follow the author's weekly updates for more of this amazing series.

i kill giants by diasterisms [Star Wars new trilogy; canon-based sequel to The Rise of Skywalker; Rey/Ben]

Yes, I'm a Reylo fan. I find the grey dynamics between Rey and a vaguely redeemed Ben Solo fascinating. I think it's because I was such a huge Luke and Mara Jade shipper from the Legends days. Anyway, I'd recommend pretty much all of diasterisms's Reylo fics (they nail the characterization + growth arcs incredibly) but this WIP in particular is a direct TROS sequel, which is great for all us fans who were very WTF about the way TROS ended. Also - lots of Force ghosts :D

Ragnarǫkr, Part 2 of the Sharingan Rising series by weialala [Naruto; canon-divergence with supernatural elements; Sasuke-centric, technically Sasuke/Naruto but is more Sasuke's relations with everyone]

I think my bookmark gushes enough about this series (and the previous installment) that I don't need to rehash it here. But anyway, this sequel is flipping amazing. The world building is so incredible omg. The wait between chapters is very long but so very worth it.

Peripeteia, Part 4 of the Carry Your Heart verse by mondaze [Shingeki no Kyojin; canon-based A/B/O verse, eventually diverges at the retake Shinganshina arc because Erwin lives (\o/); Erwin/Levi]

I'm usually very, very particular about my A/B/O verses (the concept squicks me a little but some writers subvert the trope and those are amazing) and this is a really great take on the trope - Erwin and Levi bond first out of necessity and then have to rebuild/realize a romantic relationship out of it later; they're already such strong friends and incredible partners that the bond actually throws them out of whack initially lol. But the evolution of their relationship is so well written, and the sub-plot about Levi being targeted is also great. Anyway, in this particular sequel goes back to the canon-timeline; Erwin survives the Beast Titan charge, everyone finds out about Marley, and the Survey Corps goes on a mission to make contact with the outside world. I don't actually follow the manga but I know enough that this sequel is really intriguing me. Also, Erwin lives. Thank goodness Erwin lives.

Just Another Day by Tierfal [Fullmetal Alchemist; post-manga series, Roy has severe PTSD; pre-relationship Roy/Ed]

Everything Tierfal writes is golden, but this one. Oh man, this one. It gets dark, and sometimes that's bad if you're already stressed (your mood doesn't need more depressing things to drag it down) but sometimes... you also want to indulge in it, because when you see a character go through hard and traumatic times and make it out the other side, it gives you hope too, you know? Anyway, right now at chapter 2, it's all trauma and pain for Roy, so take caution while reading this fic, but......... Ed. Oh my goodness, Ed. He tries so hard. He doesn't give up. This fic reminds me a bit of But Not Buried This Time, where Ed is the one drowning in his guilt... I remember thinking while reading that fic, "goodness, everyone needs a Roy like this in their life." Well, for this fic? I just keep thinking, "goodness, everyone needs an Ed like this in their life."

try something new [Nezha (2019); post-movie oneshot where the two have grown up and gotten their bodies back; Nezha/Aobing]

not a WIP but what the hell. So this version of Nezha is hell of a lot different from the Nezha I remember of my childhood (in that....... Nezha 100% kills Aobing lol and I remember being very conflicted because I love dragons and Nezha kills a lot of them, but at the same time deity!Nezha is pretty badass?). So anyway, someone with creative control DEFINITELY has shipper glasses on when they made this movie, I cannot get over how adorable Nezha and Aobing are. I really enjoyed this movie, it was so over the top and funny. And they made Nezha and Aobing literal soulmates? This fic is cute and adorable because it's Nezha and Aobing traveling and helping the world after they grow up and regain their bodies, and it's just tons of adorable teenage(?) confusion where they're hovering on the edge of friendship and something more. THEY ARE SO ENDEARING I love them!!

Nukume Dori by Leareth [Tokyo Babylon, X/1999; canon-divergence, kind-of time travel with X!Subaru falling back into the TB!timeline with all his memories intact; Subaru/Seishirou, a lot of trio interactions with Hokuto]

Instead of dying on the Promised Day, 25-year-old Dragon of Heaven Subaru wakes up in his 16-year-old body during the Tokyo Babylon timeline. Having seen what the future holds, he decides to continue with his original Bet with Seishirou - this time fighting to win. In the latest installment, we go pass the TB timeline into the years before 1999 and the changes that the divergence makes is just absolutely fascinating, plus we start seeing more of the X/1999 cast, whom I love and adore.

boy with a coin, Part 5 of the signal to noise series by twigcollins [The World Ends With You; post-game sequels exploring the consequences of Neku winning the long game and Joshua deciding to bring him back to life; Joshua/Neku]

I love Joshua so so much but he digs his own bed willingly and he lies in it with all the broken pride he can muster. He's very much the master of forfeiting the game before he can lose, except this time it's Neku standing beside him, and Neku is very, very stubborn. Trust your bloody partner, Joshua (I say, with all the love in my heart for this Joshua and this poor beleaguered but incredibly stubborn Neku and the all the game mechanics and worldbuilding in this series). Also, the latest cliffhanger is killing me but I'm ready to see Joshua go absolutely feral on anyone who would dare touch his city and his partner.  

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Liev Schreiber Birthday Special - Sabretooth, Kingpin, and The Storm King

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Liev Schreiber is quite an actor, one that I think it is sadly easy to overlook despite his talent at portraying villains or other morally dubious characters. From his integral role in the Scream movies to his later numerous villainous roles, he manages to show himself as a rather skilled and versatile actor, particularly in regards to the latter; Schreiber is easily able to slip into playing a villain and deliver a fantastic performance… most of the time anyway.

The date I’m posting this on (October 4, 2019) is his birthday, so we’re going to take a look at three of his biggest villain roles to date: 

Sabretooth from X-Men Origins 

The Storm King from My Little Pony: The Movie

Kingpin from Into the Spider-Verse 

The first is a great villain trapped in an awful movie; the second is an awful villain inside a fun and enjoyable movie; and the third is a great villain in an outstanding movie.

Motivation/Goals: Sabretooth is, in short, a psychopath. The guy lives for the thrill of battle, and is never satisfied unless he has someone to kill. He’s a predator, using the numerous wars he and his half-brother Logan fought in throughout history to sate his appetite, but it was never enough. Vietnam is when he really lost it, and soon after that his relationship with Logan became tarnished, leading to their numerous conflicts throughout the film. It’s rather simple, yet it’s effective. This is what we want from Sabretooth after all, a bloodthirsty, murderous psychopath who crosses every line imaginable and who just really wants to make Logan as miserable as possible.

The Storm King is kind of approaching dominating Equestria as if it were a business venture, complete with merchandise. Beyond that, he’s a bit of a one-note evil overlord, with none of the complex motivations and characterizations of the other antagonist of the film, Tempest Shadow. He’s just here for some quick laughs and to be the final boss in the third act.

Kingpin has my favorite motivation out of the entire lot: once when he was battling with Spider-Man, his wife and child walked in, and in fear and horror they fled, driving off only to be struck by a truck and killed. Kingpin then shoveled as much money as he could and hired the likes of Doc Ock and Green Goblin to help create a giant dimensional portal all so he could be reunited with his family. It’s such a tragic motive that adds layers of depth to Kingpin, and ultimately makes him an interesting foil for Miles, who decides to continue fighting so he can live up to those he loses (Peter and his uncle) while Kingpin cannot accept his loss or his responsibility and so decides to damn everyone else in his desperate struggle to undo the damage he himself caused.

Personality: Sabretooth is easily the most simple of the villains, in that he is just a completely unrepentant monster who revels in the fact he is a vicious, remorseless killer. Normally a villain like that would be boring and generic… but this is Sabretooth. This is what we want out of him. Add in his brotherly banter with Wolverine and his single-minded desire to ruin Logan’s life at every turn, and he just ends up being a really fun and engaging take on the character, with Schreiber injecting just the right amount of soft-spoken sadism and menace to make Victor Creed pants-crappingly terrifying.

Kingpin is a sleazy, scummy mob boss. He’s another seemingly simple character, but his design really helps show what kind of guy he is without telling us. This iteration of Wilson Fisk really plays up him being a mountain of a man, with him being a hulking behemoth with a very bulky design. Despite being a normal human, he looks like the kind of guy who could kill a superhuman with his bare hands. Despite all this, he does have sympathetic  (but, and this can’t be stressed enough, not redeeming) qualities, such as his love for his family and his single-minded desire to be reunited with them. Of course, this desire is what leads to most of the troubles in the film, so he does show the dangers of that sort of careless and reckless pursuit of a goal is a bad thing, no matter how noble it seems.

Final Fate: The Storm King is the only character out of these three with a clear-cut fate, and it goes a long way to redeeming how bland the character is due to how out-of-place and dark it seems in the world of Friendship is Magic. In short, he is turned to stone, and his statue is allowed to drop to the ground, where he shatters into pieces. By all accounts, he is dead, a fate that seems to befall all terrible Friendship is Magic villains (cough Sombra cough).

Kingpin is the most open-ended, as after Miles stops him and in true Spider-Man fashion strings him up for the police. This does open up the door for Kingpin to appear again, which is a plus. The final showdown beforehand is a lot more interesting. The beatdown he gets from Miles, where Miles gets up from the pummeling that killed Peter and delivering a confident “Hey” like his uncle taught him right on Kingpin’s shoulder, sending him flying back to shut down his dimensional portal really is an  awesome moment for the film and Miles in general.

Sabretooth… it really is impossible to say. He apparently makes it out of this film alive, but Schreiber’s Sabretooth is so disconnected from the one who appears later in the timeline (mostly on the token that Schreiber’s take is actually good and memorable) that it’s impossible what to say happened to him. Further muddying the waters is the numerous canon retcons to the timeline as shown in films like Days of Future Past, which altered the timeline in baffling ways such as causing people to be born earlier than they would have been, and then there’s the deleted idea for his cameo in Logan… Really, there’s no telling what exactly Happened to Victor Creed, as the X-Men series is such an utter mess.

Best Scene: Sabretooth has a few, such as the awesome opening montage where he and his brother fight through multiple wars, but perhaps the best part is when he and Wolverine team up to kill that awful thing pretending to be Deadpool. The real Deadpool would beat them to the punch much later in Deadpool 2, but hey, at least he knew what had to be done when he had the chance.

Kingpin’s is almost definitely the scene where he kills Peter, which shows him going through a shocking amount of emotion, but there’s also the flashback to his family’s demise or even that moment on the train where he becomes a lifetime achiever in the Pontoffel Pock Awards by screwing up in every conceivable reality imaginable and disturbing an entire multiverse worth of his family in his quest to murder Miles. Few people screw up on that epic of a scale.

The Storm King… I don’t know. He’s kinda scary in his final battle? Maybe when he plays with the sun and the moon? Nothing really stands out for him super well, because quite frankly he is massively overshadowed by Tempest Shadow, who has the honor of getting the villain song of the movie. And let me be completely frank: if you are a villain in a musical, and you don’t get a song, you suck. Period.

Best Quote: For Sabretooth, it has to be this quote that really sums up who he is: “I'm not your friend. I'm an animal, who dreamed he was a man. But the dream is over. And the beast is awake. And I will come for you without mercy, because it's my nature.”

Kingpin is a little trickier, because Wilson Fisk is a man of actions, rather than words; I feel like he doesn’t have too many great quips, but he has a plethora of awesome actions. However, I DO enjoy his intro, where Schreiber just kills it with the delivery and establishes Fisk right off the bat as one hell of a crime boss: “Doo-be do. Doo-be do. Yub-yub, doo-bee do, doo-bee-do. Watch out! Here comes the Spider-Man! You like my new toy? Cost me a fortune, but hey, can't take it with you, right? You came all this way. Watch the test. It's a hell of a frickin' light show, you're gonna love this.”

For Storm King… well, this is kind of a funny line: “Here's the deal. I'm in the middle of a big rebrand here. "The Storm King" is tracking, well, as "intensely intimidating", but you know what? I need to back it up. You know what I need to back it up with? A STORM! THAT WOULD BE GREAT! You promised me magic that could control the elements, and right now, I'm holding a what? A branch. A twig. Bleh!” Kind of a reach, but I think he does have some decent comedic moments here and there, and his initial, er, phone call with Tempest is charming enough.

Final Thoughts & Score: These guys are really all over the place, but I think they really showcase Schreiber’s talents very well, as well as how to use him effectively.

Sabretooth is easily the best villain out of this bunch. While X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a terrible, bloated mess of a film, Sabretooth is one of the few redeeming factors, with Schreiber turning in a wonderfully terrifying performance as Logan’s arch-enemy. It’s frankly insulting they never had him come back to the franchise, because he was certainly far more deserving of a comeback than someone like Jennifer Lawrence. At least with Schreiber it was clear he cared about the character, which is more than can be said for whoever played the original Sabretooth (a character who is not even worth a Psycho Analysis; there’s just nothing to talk about there).

Really, the only major issues with Sabretooth are the fact that he’s in the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the X-Men franchise and the writing doesn’t do him many favors, but Schreiber is just acting his butt off to the point where it doesn’t matter, he’s selling it, he’s giving us the Sabretooth even the “better” first X-Men movie couldn’t deliver, and he seriously earns that 9/10. It should come as no shock that his take on Victor Creed is the one thing besides Ryan Reynolds fans truly love about the film.

Contrast the Storm King, who is just a depressing waste of potential. The prequel comics set him up to be something far more fascinating than what we get in the movie; he goes from a silly yet cunning overlord to a comical goober who barely gets any screentime, accomplishes half of his evil actions offscreen, and just leaves very little impression on the audience. Not helping is that he is by and large one of the biggest idiots ever seen in the Friendship is Magic franchise, backstabbing his own loyal followers for no good reason and basically playing with his hand revealed. It’s pretty telling that his henchwoman Tempest Shadow is the one who gets the villain song of the film (which, as I’ve pointed out, is a sign that he really, really sucks as a villain) and who is far more memorable, enjoyable, and interesting.

All that being said, I do appreciate the sentiment of the character, and I do like that Schreiber did it so his kids could watch something with him in it that wouldn’t make them scared out of their minds, and I don’t necessarily think Storm King is one of the most horrible villains ever or anything – he’s just boring and a waste of potential. I’d say he just barely makes it to a 3/10, and that’s mostly because he does have some amusing moments and how bad he is is offset by Tempest Shadow being such a fantastic antagonist; if she wasn’t in the movie, he’d easily be a low 2 and a lot less forgivable. That does seem kind of weird, but I think with a villain like Storm King where he’s just a simple goofball being played by a talented actor isn’t so bad as long as there’s an actual, serious antagonist. It doesn’t exactly make him any better but it keeps him from sinking to the rating of soomeone like Jared Leto’s Joker.

Kingpin is, quite simply, fantastic. I love his design, I love his motivation, I love how he just commands the scene when he walks into the room. This guy is just peak villain design, story-wise and design-wise. Some have taken umbrage with the fact that Kingpin is the one who got to kill Peter rather than a more personal foe like Norman Osborn, but frankly I like that they took a unique approach and decided to utilize a more unexpected foe of Spidey’s.

I think what’s best about Kingpin is just how they manage to make him a rather tragic and pitiable figure despite all the evil he does. Normally it would be a tall order to make the man who murders Peter Parker a tragic figure, but somehow the film manages, showing him to be a bitter, broken man desperately clinging to the tiny hope he could ever see his family again by destroying the dimensional barriers, no matter the cost. And if someone tries to tell him otherwise? Kill ‘em. Obviously this doesn’t excuse his actions, and the movie thankfully never pretends to, but I like that they made this Kingpin such a rich character in his own right, continuing the trend of Kingpin always being given a fantastic performance. Much like Sabretooth, Schreiber really earns the 9/10 with this fantastic vocal performance and just how impactful and even proactive Kingpin is in the story. He gets two major deaths to his name after all.

Liev Schreiber is such a fascinating actor, one who I think is so often overlooked and ignored. While he certainly is typecast as villains fairly often, I think it’s safe to say he excels at those kinds of roles, and he always manages to inject something unique into his roles. You wouldn’t confuse any of these three villains for each other after all.

[catalina-infanta]

Fantastic Beasts meets Star Wars

I was watching the Fantastic Beasts movies and one thing I love about those films is their use of the main character (the protagonist and Hero) being a bit different than the regular hero, and showing traits of someone with autism (he won't look other characters in the eye for long, his very specific interests of caring for animals to which he has developed specialized expertise, and his comments about how people “often don’t like him”). I, myself, love seeing heroes who aren’t your cookie cutter male alpha, punching people while making sassy remarks. I think Ben Solo/Kylo Ren kinda fits this mold too, as did Luke Skywalker. They just aren’t your usual alpha dog, they have emotions, they are real people.  

Yet, there seem to be some other trends where the writing of the Star Wars sequel trilogy and the Fantastic Beasts series are concerned. 

Black and White Thinking

One is the theme of black and white thinking as being portrayed as evil. Maybe this is even more pressing today. Of course, this is coming about out of Hollywood, as Americans are experiencing more and more the pain and dangers of bipartisanship within their government. Yet on the world stage, however (as I am not American) the insidious effects of how we consume media through computer and search engine algorithms (which gather information particular to our interests and worldviews) means we rarely leave our own information bubbles or read news with which we may disagree with. This is separating us further from others more and more, forming divides and even black and white thinking (us versus them) when we are unable to tolerate or understand other people’s opinions.

In the movies, these topics are being stressed with good versus bad, us versus them and with fascist, totalitarian thinking at play. Even visually this is being represented. For instance, the main villain of Fantastic Beasts, Grindelwald, is repeatedly wearing black and white. Conversely, however, the hero Newt Scamander is shown wearing colours, blue and yellow. And this is not the first movie to make colour an important feature in expression ideas about characters:

 This is showing Grindelwalds polarized, thinking of purebloods against those who are not is black and white (read: wrong). Indeed, in the films expresses this as flawed further when it has the main protagonist, Newt, express distaste at how American wizards cut interaction with muggles out entirely and see them as lesser beings, probably commenting on racism in America and its enduring systemic ills. 

Of course, we all know that black and white is traditionally part of the Star Wars good versus bad, but even this is changing, with Rey moving into greyer garbs from her earlier whiter clothing. 

Forbidden Attachments

Also, much like Jedi were forbidden from attachments, Muggle’s can’t be with magic folk in America (its illegal even). Much like dark force users were taught to fear the dark and stay away from light jedi. There is no middle ground, just bad and good, no learning from each other or expanding, just lines which cannot be crossed. So of course, where you have a plot like this which the writers think are constrictive or wrong, you have your main characters crossing this line (in the case of Fantastic Beasts, to show its wrong and backward, and in the case of Star Wars to show its worth expanding outward and understanding the other side, forgiving and letting those who have fallen back into the fold to repent and redeem and that even they can be good nd have souls worth loving). 

In Fantastic Beasts, one of the main love stories is one between Queenie and Joseph, a witch and a muggle. Like Rey and Kylo Ren, a lightsider and darksider union (we think..but c’mon its pretty obvious they are romantic!). So both movie trilogies have 2 protagonists who are braving this divide, but finding it casts them out, or jeopardizes their union. Rey and Kylo cannot bridge there divide (nor should they with how dark kylo is right now), and in Fantastic Beasts, (***SPOILER***) the American witch Queenie, in the end of the Crimes of Grindelwald has even joined the evil cause of Grindelwald because she (misguidedly) believes they can help her relationship with the Muggle Joseph come to be allowed. 

The Evils of Repression

So above we have two themes, black and white, polarized thinking as being shown as wrong, and main characters attempting to breach these divides between two worlds/belief structures through love. 

But there is one more similarity. In the Fantastic Beasts 1st movie, there is a dark phenomenon known as an Obscurial. According to Wiki fandom, an obscurial is a young wizard or witch who developed a dark parasitical magical force, known as an obscurus, as a result of their magic being suppressed (often through abuse or fear of showing their powers). According to Dumbledore, an Obscurial can possibly be healed by replacing their feelings of alienation with a sense of belonging. 

Repression has long been seen of as something akin to evil in western film and storytelling (often you see priests in TV and movies going through this, self-flagellating, or whipping themselves for their nasty sinful thoughts – and these characters tend to be evil, think of Paul Bettany’s character in Dan Browns Da Vinci Code, or the evil guy Frollo in Hunchback of Notre Dame). 

Something Star Wars has been dealing with since the advent of the prequel trilogy is this idea of repression leading to evil. One of Anakin’s, and I argue Ben’s, troubles was with the repression of their dark natures, or even repression of just their good emotions such as love for Padme or Shmi, causing them to become unbalanced and leading them to evil. I get it, if someone told me I couldn’t love I would grow angry too, and I am pissed with the Jedi – it seems Luke was too. 

The idea that balance is necessary in the Star Wars community is pretty self-evident though, so I wont take too much time explaining this. Ben and Anakin are emotional guys, constantly told to keep it all in, only let the light out, repress your feelings and any darkness that may be felt because that’s “bad” (Yoda’s advice to Anakin when he was fearing for Padme’s death to “rejoice for her” for becoming one with the force sucked, and we are meant to be frustrated by it, because I can't believe George Lucas would expect us to agree with Yoda and believe it was OK for Padme to die and that Anakin should just move on). Indeed, to repress and deny the good and bad inside us is damaging and something we should all avoid – this is the Jungian notion of accepting and resolving yourself with your shadow self, instead of ignoring it until it explodes, much as the Obscurials do when they cant hold it in any longer and they die at a young age. 

As a side note, I was really happy to see Credence didn’t actually die at the end of the first Fantastic Beasts film, because he was obviously an abused and unloved child looking for his parents (sound familiar? Rey?). Although sadly, I’m not sure he will survive the series of films now that he has joined Grindelwald, or that the writers care enough to give this character anything more than redemption equals death scenario and not bother to give him a happy ending or find belonging and peace. 

Conclusion and how these movies should wrap up

Anyways, I guess I just thought it interesting that both films were dealing with similar themes, probably because they are issues we are dealing with in society, but they are issues society deals with all the time in one way or another at all times but perhaps we feel they are more pressing today?

The importance of these themes to these movies, however, means they should be in some way resolved at the end of each series because they aren’t going to reinforce these notions by punishing the characters who act out of the bounds of societies black and white framework. 

With Star Wars, I think there will be a better way to look at how Jedi will go about their business in dealing with the dark side (i.e. with more understanding of what it is instead of fear and rejection), and how individual Jedi will deal with the darkness inside themselves in thier own personal journies to avoid the worst. This will hopefully include some resolution on how future Jedi will deal with attachment - rather than just repressing everything and forgetting about it. I dont think this is something that is valued today in the west, because no one wants to abandon those things about human life that make it most worth living.  

On that note, I also expect the two pairs of lovers of both Star Wars and Fantastic Beasts to be reunited, in order to visually and narratively show a change and love for the other side and repair the longtime split between the groups. Its more than just a sappy ending, it’s a metaphor for how we should think about the “Other” that we are told to fear or belittle by a society that has gone too far in its black and white thinking. So, Queenie should marry Joseph even though Muggles are thought beneath wizards, and Kylo and Rey should both come towards the centre and be together and find their belonging they so desire, thereby resolving their loneliness. (However, this is a whole other question of Kylo’s redemption, etc.). But the notion that Jedis shouldn’t marry be damned! And this is the PERFECT way to show that stupid rule was dumb and resolve the very thing Anakin struggled with in some way. And, for that matter, the notion that forgiveness shouldn’t be given to those who have erred or fallen by the wayside be damned! 

No, in the end, the lesson is that black and white thinking sucks, and love and forgiveness is what matters for those who find it in their hearts, to love, and not fear the other side is what our heroes are showing us, with a multitude of colour to express the variety of people, and emotions, that life can give us. 

[paladin-andric]

Nature of the Gods: Part Two, the Dacuni and the Old Gods

Paganism has become rare in the face of monotheism and organized religion. Very few faiths from before the Order of God remain, wherever they are generally practiced by a small minority scattered throughout the lands. There is one place, though, yet untouched by the faith of humanity...the frigid northern lands of the Dacuni. The lands of the wolfmen still follow the gods they’ve been worshiping since the dawn of recorded history. While the Koutu’s religion has been “tainted” as the wolfmen may put it, their gods answer to no masters, answerable to no foreign god.

The wolfmen have a broad range of approaches to their gods. Some loot and pillage in their names, pledging their kill to the gods, or offering the loot to better their tribe in honor of the gods. Some become dedicated holy warriors to defend the temples of the gods, both from invading armies and during states of tribal conflict or civil war. Others simply dedicate their hard work to the gods to show their commitment to the gods’ people. This last approach is often taken by farmers, servants and child-rearing parents who cannot afford to go off on campaigns.

Hafnir

The mightiest of the gods, Hafnir is the God of War. He is typically depicted as a wild wolfman wearing very light armor made of leather and wielding a massive, two handed hammer. The raiders and soldiers look up to and worship him, taking spoils and kills in his name.

The War God is said to be the savior and champion of all wolfmen. At the dawn of time, dragons infested the northern tundra the wolfmen called home, using their vast numbers and magical powers to subdue the wolfmen and warp them into servile and obedient slaves.

One day, Hafnir descended from the sky and killed a dragon elder, freeing the wolfmen slaves from its service. He continued, traveling the land and slaughtering all dragons he came across. He killed so many they fled and went into hiding, leaving the Dacuni tribes free from their tyranny. In a final show of strength, he personally captured and mentally broke a dragon, turning it into his loyal servant, a sign of how the roles of old had been reversed. Even today, his legend influences the wolfmen. Slaying a dragon is seen as one of the greatest feats a warrior could ever accomplish in wolfman society. Many young warriors leave their tribe to find a dragon to slay, eager to prove their worth and glory. Few ever manage to find one, and the ones that do generally don’t come back...

Spuini

The God of merriment. Spuini was said to have been ascended to godhood upon beating Hafnir in a drinking contest. Often described as a wolfman in a permanent state of inebriation, jug of ale always in hand and a huge grin on his face, he is the embodiment of hedonism, and many people tend to look down on such a lifestyle...until they are behind closed doors. Indeed, many wolfmen profess themselves to be simple, modest and self-sacrificing...only to engage in wild parties in the god’s name. The life of the average wolfman is hard, stressful, full of war, death and struggle...few can withstand it without some vices.

The “chosen” of Spuini are laughed at by most other holy orders, thought of as a group of beer-swilling, gluttonous, orgy-having debauchers who have the gall to call their acts divine. While there’s a fair case for this, they also tend to genuinely believe their acts are spreading happiness and joy to the people of the land, as it is Spuini’s wish to give his children something to look forward to in this harsh world. Still, initiates who just want to make merry find their way into the temples anyway.

Spuini himself is said to reward his most zealous followers with a feeling of permanent contentedness. In a ritual of special wine drinking, the god of merriment is said to speak directly to the priests, whispering secrets and expressions of gratitude in their minds...though whether it’s the divine or the drink talking is up for debate.

The god is celebrated for uplifting the spirits of the wolfmen once they were free from the dragons, cheering them up and preparing them to forge their own destiny as Hafnir hunted the dragons down.

Baba

The goddess of the harvest, Baba is depicted as a shaggy wolfwoman with dirt clinging to her tunic, a pitchfork in hand, and a grim look on her face. Once the wife of Spuini, she became enraged as he once drove a tribe of wolfmen into such a state of permanent of ecstasy that everyone stopped working, engaging in an endless festival that ended with a famine that destroyed their tribe. Soon after she left him, traveling the land to warn the wolfmen of the dangers of throwing away diligence. Pleasure is fine...as long as you remember your duties, and temper it with some hard work.

She has since seen worship among farmers of course, along with ranchers and hunters. She is seen as the founder of society and civilization at large, for without agriculture, what are we but hunters and gatherers?

Her history with Spuini and her outlook on life has put her faithful into a bit of a rivalry with Spuini’s devotees. Baba’s priests see the “chosen” as worthless burdens, soaking up resources from those in need and getting the desperate and needy hooked on sex and alcohol, while the latter sees Baba’s faithful as humorless sticks in the mud that just need to loosen up and learn how to have some fun.

Those humble and hard working commoners often find solace in the vindication that their toiling is next to holiness, and Baba would do the same in their place. There can be no prosperity if you just sit back and wait for it.

Asvarnin

The god of sin. A younger god, Asvarnin is tasked with keeping a tally of all wrongdoings perpetrated by all mortals. While the wicked may prosper in life, they will have to answer to Asvarnin when they die. He is typically depicted as a wolfman in black robes covering him completely, long hood casting shadows over his obscured face, only his snout visible.

The god of sin is said to trap souls in the “Chamber of Absolution”, where the spirits of those who have sinned are tortured. They must experience pain proportionate to the amount of sin they have accumulated over the course of their lives. Once they have undergone the required amount of torture, they are freed, and must speak with Asvarnin as to their situation. If they remain cruel and wrathful, they will be put back into the chamber until broken. The kind and good may only face a very brief session, a short whipping to drive out impure thoughts or the like.

Asvarnin is said to be distant. Not cold per-say, but stifling his emotions as to properly dole out punishment. He is known to become sensitive and apologize for his dark and cruel job during the talks he has with his victims after sessions. He also comforts those with broken wills, who are silent and shivering after their absolving sessions. Atoning for sin is a job that must be done, but Ascarnin finds little joy in it.

Those that pass find their way to paradise, an afterlife full of rolling hills, thick forests, and halls where the wolfmen dead spend their time relaxing. Asvarnin is a precaution set to ensure only those pure enough can enter, and anyone who starts trouble there will be sent back to him for another session.

He’s often thought of as a lonely and withdrawn god, struggling to build any relationships with his fellow gods. There are so many souls to process...and it is said to have taken a toll on his happiness. Adherents to Asvarnin tend to build shrines dedicated to his glory, in an effort to show him how much they appreciate his hard work. Perhaps if he knows how grateful the mortals are, it will be enough to keep him going...or maybe even put a smile on his face.

Vilini

The goddess of nature. Vilini spends her time watching the lands and making sure the food chain is kept in harmony and perpetual sustainability. She is often depicted as a wolfwoman with a glowing aura, wearing a dress of golden leaves and followed by all manner of animals. When paintings, statues or any other art of her is made, she is typically interacting with or standing alongside animals.

It is the goddess’ job to ensure the safety of the land. Overeager hunters, land-clearing builders, and even beasts hunting more than the land can sustain are said to be visited by her...and cease their activities without question.

Vilini is said to possess unearthly charm and beauty. It is rumored she can make any mortal fall in love with her at a whim, bending them to her will. Even rampaging dragons will quickly hurry to please her and change their ways after a visit from her. She uses this as leverage to ensure all species are kept safe from extinction and the lands a firm base for life to bloom from.

Adherents to Vilini typically build very small, humble temples, as wastefulness would displease her. They try their best to get in touch with nature, and protect it from undue damage. They are fewer in number than most other cults, though they aren’t too rare.

Kalinka

The god of food and cooking. Ever the unusual one, Kalinka is said to be fanciful wolfman with an affinity for baking. Not much is known about him, though he’s said to be one of the more interactive gods, often visiting the tribes disguised as a mortal.

A good friend of Spuini, Kalinka is said to be the brain-child behind many of the recipes for his friend’s feasts. Aside from this, he is shrouded in mystery, his duties and powers unknown. He’s rumored to secretly be mighty and powerful, his silly and bizarre nature a smokescreen to hide his true identity. Who is this god, truly? He can’t just be a chef, can he?

The god of cooking is said to have introduced formalized recipes and meals to the wolfmen in their early years, while they were still searing meat over open fires and eating off of trees.

His favorite raw ingredient is red berries.

Banidol

Thought of as a wolfman hovering high in the heavens, glowing, divine eyes gazing at all below him, Banidol is the god of the Sun and Moon. He’s depicted weaing long, flowing blue ropes with runes inscribed along drapes on his shoulders.

It is Banidol’s job to ensure every day begins and ends. Few powers can oppose this, but there have been a few powerful sorcerers that have meddled with this cycle before...none have succeeded against the god, though. His duty is of the utmost importance, and he shows little mercy against the few that can interfere with it.

The god is said to be reserved and enigmatic. He cares little for frivolous activities like cavorting with mortals, merriment or other such pleasures. He’s said to enjoy the peace and quiet up in the skies, however, finding it relaxing and enjoyable to have a massive expanse all to himself. Secretly, he is deeply shy and socially inept, which becomes apparent when he’s required to work alongside one of the other gods. Anyone who knows him well would know he isn’t actually a mysterious, brooding overlord...but a quiet introvert who is more than pleased to have eons of alone time.

Adherents to Banidol are always listening in on any magical plots big enough to garner attention. They are anti-magician crusaders, dedicated to hunting down wizards and sorcerers who threaten night and day to ensure they can’t tamper with the natural state of things.

Vajerio

God of music. This god is said be a wolfman with a snow white coat of fur, with a loose-cut tunic and a look of bliss on his face, always carrying a harp. Vajerio’s duties include the spreading of joy and wisdom, along with the ending of disasters.

Vajerio’s performances can instill any emotion he wants as intensely as he wishes upon anyone. Legends state after Hafnir’s destruction of the dragons, the few that struggled to regain their hold over the Dacuni were visited by the god. He would make them weep, feeling deep sorrow and regret for their actions with little more than a few songs. They quickly mended their ways and retreated into the wilds, never to seek vengeance against the wolfmen ever again. While the god of war shattered the dragon’s hold over the tribes, Vajerio dealt with the aftermath.

Vajerio is said to visit the mortal world quite often, disguising himself as a traveling minstrel. He uses his persuasive powers to broker peace between warring factions, many people awaiting destruction by army or beast confused when their foes suddenly withdraw.

Adherents to the god of music build temples that function more like a bard’s school than anything, believing in the power of song. They are not looked very fondly upon by the tribes, so most temples to Vajerio are made in Geralthin, by wolfmen minorities.

???

One fateful day, a mysterious god, robed, hooded and wrapped in shadows, appeared from nowhere and attacked Hafnir with magic. The god of war was eventually defeated by the sorcerer, but when the other gods showed up, the attacker fled.

No one, not even the gods, know who this was, but their powers were obviously divine, able to take down the mightiest of the gods. Who was this sorcerer? It surely must have been one of the other gods...but which one?

That’s the end of the list of gods! The Pona are spiritualistic yet lack gods. In the west influence from the humans bleed in, and some of them follow The Order. I hope you’ve enjoyed learning more about the Old Gods!

Tag list: @thereisnothingwrongwithbeingmad, @lady-redshield-writes, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @sheralynnramsey, @the-true-shadowmaster, @tawnywrites, @writer-on-time, @oceanwriter, @zwergis-spilledink, @fluffpiggy, @elliewritesfantasy, @homesteadhorner, @laurenwastestimewriting​

[angeltriestoblog]

Your Comprehensive Guide to Passing the College Entrance Tests

College entrance tests season is a time in my life that I look back on with equal parts pain and fondness, which somewhat serves as a justification as to why I’ve been putting off this post for so long. Although I spent many sleepless nights re-absorbing lessons I never even got in the first place—all while having to deal with agonizing self-doubt and anxiety—I guess it’s safe to say that it was all worth it. After all, ya girl passed three out of the four universities she applied for: I have yet to find out if UP is willing to take me under their wing, but whether or not they want me, I can say that I am very much contented with my results.

Since I feel I’m in a position to speak on a topic like this, I’m back at it again and ready to help anyone about to tackle the beasts that are the CETs this year. I’m dividing this post into three parts, which will contain tips on how to go about everything before, during and after taking what most consider to be the most important tests of your life. 

Obligatory disclaimer: This is ridiculously long and not everything that I’ve written here will apply to you, but hey, if I were you, I’d start taking down notes.

BEFORE THE TEST

One thing most people fail to stress when giving advice on this topic is the importance of adopting the best mindset. Understand that the CETs are a very serious and urgent matter, for you are tasked with preparing for the succeeding chapters of your life all within a short time frame, but at the same time, don’t allow the pressure that comes with it to lead to overthinking and comparison that will ultimately distract you from achieving your goal: passing. Stay driven and positive, and focus on yourself.

Now, on to the actual studying part. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the best way to breeze through these exams without breaking a sweat is by being a good student all throughout high school. Be the type to maintain a stellar general weighted average, keep all notes taken down during the past four years in an expanding file folder instead of using them to wrap dried fish and join as many extracurricular activities as possible. If you’ve already failed at this, it’s time to proceed to Plan B: review school.

I personally didn’t enroll in any classes over the summer, because I thought they only took place during the month of April, which was when my parents had scheduled our overseas trip for the year. Well, apparently, I couldn’t have been any less well researched and by the time I found out, it was already far too late. So, I had made the decision to opt for self-study. For some reason, I was the only one in the household who was worried out of my mind: my parents were very much convinced that I would be able to handle reviewing on my own, and prove that review school was not a requirement for acceptance into prestigious universities. I was touched by their unwavering confidence in me, but every word felt like an additional kilogram I had to carry on my back.

I got by through borrowing old review modules from my dentist (Tita Meng, I have no idea how you’re ever going to read this, but thank you so much for saving my life… and also straightening my teeth) and downloading sample tests from the Internet for me to test my knowledge later on. My efforts never felt like they were enough for me though: I remember looking up the curriculum for each subject I needed to tackle on the website of the Department of Education, researching each sub-topic that was vague to me and Khan Academy-ing my way to proficiency. Definitely an unnecessarily extra way to tackle the reviewing process, but hey, my mind was very much laden with doubt and I was willing to do the most. I also put up cartolinas on my bedroom walls with formulas for different Math and Science subjects, which proved itself useful since I actually spend a decent amount of my time staring off into space.

If the thought of doing all of this alone is stressing you out, then maybe it’s time to go down what is considered by most to be the safe route: enrolling in a review school. Doing so will provide you with all the lessons covered during high school in the form of actual lectures with qualified teachers, and hardbound notes that often come with sample tests that resemble the real thing. It guides you through the application process as well as gives updates on the schedules of most universities, and helps in parts of the test that cannot be achieved by poring over textbooks such as essay writing and even techniques for plain old guessing. All these benefits seem to provide their students with the confidence boost to top everything off, and I admit that I did feel inferior to most of my peers at some point for this reason. They all just seemed so put together, so at ease with their binders and pastel highlighters that it made me go through a period of regret and resentment. Do not let the perceived advantage they have blind you, though: do note that even if attending a review school helps you ace the entrance test, it does not measure your aptitude nor your ability to handle the workload that you will have to face as you make your way in the university of your choice.

Because I had to do everything alone, I had firsthand experience when it comes to waging a war with time: it was truly my biggest enemy during this point in my life. It’s obviously crucial to create a schedule and follow it regularly. If you’re anything like me, you’ve read this in several self-help books or heard this over and over again on productivity podcasts but planning truly is key. First, list down all the topics that you want to cover, complete with the estimated time it’ll take you to master them. Then, distribute them per day evenly so you don’t end up overwhelming yourself and cramming so much information in your head that you barely get to retain anything. It’s important to have a contingency plan ready as well, in case you needed more time digesting a particular topic.

Eliminate all distractions while reviewing. This is a cardinal rule for studying in general, so it will definitely increase in importance during a time like this. One thing I found important is to tell yourself why you have to do it, so it’s easier for you to follow through. For example, I’m pretty addicted to watching YouTube videos, so having to cut down my marathons and look at the number of videos on my Watch Later pile up was a bit painful at first. But upon conditioning my mind into thinking that I’d rather spend my five month summer vacation before college binge watching all the videos I had missed out on instead of looking for a university that was still ready to accept me, it was much easier for me to cut down on it.

Remember to prioritize breadth over depth. Cover as many topics as you possibly can, going over the basic concepts and important formulas. Then, knock yourself out with practice tests so that you’re fully familiarized with them by the time CETs roll in, because you never know how even the simplest questions can be twisted around to baffle you. A common mistake most incoming seniors make (myself included) is overthinking what could possibly be asked and going too into detail when reviewing.  In my defense, it seemed like the natural thing to do during a situation of panic but if I had only known, I would have been able to save so much of my time and devote it to mastering everything I had learned.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if ever the need arises, whether it be from teachers, friends or upperclassmen. It might come off as a surprise to some of you, but there are many people who will be more than willing to help you, whether out of pity or genuine human decency. I asked tons of my classmates if I could borrow the notes they received from their review center, so I could learn more than I could have on my own (and maybe even compare their progress with mine). Sometimes, I’d disturb them at ungodly hours and call them up on Messenger to plead them to teach me the shortcuts in problem solving, mnemonics or acronyms. I was never the type of person to do that: honestly speaking, it felt like a direct blow to my pride to have to beg for something. But, it was my future at stake and upon remembering that, I no longer felt any shame [shrugs]

On another (but equally important) note: stay on top of your requirements for the different universities you’ll be applying to. Although they don’t normally start until July or August, it’s much better to get these out of the way as early as possible. Take it from me, who ran around Megamall looking for a photo studio a week before ACET apps needed to be passed. Stock up on ID pictures of different sizes, preferably 1x1, passport size and 2x2. Photocopy important documents like your birth certificate and grades forms, as well as your ID from the current or previous school year. Start thinking of who to ask recommendation letters from, brush up on your essay writing and interview skills and work on your CV if needed. Also, have a scanner ready if you plan on trying out for La Salle, since their application process is purely online. Be sure to keep track of your deadlines: don’t wait around for people to remind you, and please please please For The Love Of God do not cram everything until the very last second.

Strive to finish reviewing over summer break so you don’t have to worry about balancing CETs and academics, which is an entirely different playing field. I’ll come clean and say that I failed to do this, because there were still so many topics I couldn’t understand and questions I couldn’t find the answers to, even with the guidance of the Internet. Let me tell you, it was absolute hell as I didn’t have the time or brain capacity to digest lessons both for school and entrance tests. Please have mercy on yourself and focus on the classes you are to take during the school year, flipping through notes and flash cards sparingly when you have free time.

Now for the part that will probably be most useful to you all: the actual subject matter to study, focused specifically on the entrance tests for the Big 4 universities. Don’t use this as the sole basis of your review, since it’s not a guarantee that the topics covered this year will be the same as the succeeding ones. I remember looking up this one CET tips thread which said that the ACET was going to have mostly geometry-related questions. Since Ateneo is my dream school, I spent a ridiculous amount of time cramming everything from theorems to tangents in my head. So, you could just imagine my surprise when I actually took my test and was greeted by a maximum of four geom questions and a predominantly Algebra II and Trigonometry-centered Math portion.     

ACET

Language proficiency

This test will assess your knowledge on basic grammar: correct usage of verb tenses, S-V agreement, analogy-type and a cloze test, where you are required to fill in the blanks with the appropriate word for the sentence. It also included an essay question about a particular word that differed from session to session. I had to make one on the word “superstition”, so I had written something on how I didn’t believe in them because I was raised by my family with a very strong faith in God. One tip people give out a lot is to try and relate your answer to either love for God or being a man for others, but do it only if it doesn’t come out forced. From what I remember, we were given 50 minutes to answer all of this, and I don’t mean to come off as boastful but English is and has always been my first language, so it didn’t serve as a problem on my part.

Mathematical ability

This test is feared most by previous test takers, and it was only when I crawled my way through it that I realized why it has that reputation. It’s composed primarily of basic algebra, algebra II and trigonometry questions, all of which are quite lengthy and require a decent amount of time to think through, especially if you’re not really the best in this subject.

Abstract reasoning

This test… Boy, what do I even say? It requires you to pick out the figure or shape that completes the pattern. There were 30 items all in all that needed to be accomplished within 10 minutes, and I couldn’t tell anything apart from each other. I feel anyone who tells you they took this test seriously and finished it without breaking a sweat is just messing with you. I don’t think there’s any way to answer this test without turning to our old friend (the shotgun method).

Logical reasoning

This test includes questions with a set of premises that you are supposed to analyze, and a list of choices containing possible conclusions that can be drawn from them. Your task is to pick the most logical one, which sounds like common sense at first. Apparently, this was a topic discussed in General Math, so there is a certain set of rules to follow. Not only did I not remember ever taking this up in my life, but I also skipped it during review so I had to borrow my classmate’s book and cram everything I could during ACET week (DEFINITELY NOT ADVISABLE). There was one part of the test that involved a lot of technical terms, which I did not read about or study but thank God ya girl was desperate enough and ended up finding hints in the instructions!

Vocabulary

Pretty self-explanatory type of test, with 25 words in five minutes. It seems overwhelming, but contrary to popular belief, it’ll be easy even for those who aren’t voracious readers.

Reading comprehension

This test will require you to fully understand the message of the text, and apply it practically or draw sensible conclusions from it. I breezed through this one as well, because I’ve been reading since I was in the womb, but this can prove to be difficult for those who aren’t used to it. I’ve been seeing this tip circulating that goes “Look at the questions first before the passage itself, so you know what to find” and although it can fool just about any lazy reader out there, I tried it for myself during the ACET because I was in the mood and it didn’t help me at all. If anything, it just slowed me down because I was doing twice the work: looking at the question then going over the whole thing to find the answer, then repeating the process instead of just reading the text once.

Numerical ability

This test was all word problems—age, work, mixture, speed—with a dash of ratio, proportion and variation. This was the last portion of the ACET, and not only was my brain fried to a crisp but I was also very eager to leave so this definitely made me want to scream as I was taking it. It could have been much easier if I had memorized the exact formulas, and practiced lots so I could work rapidly without sacrificing accuracy.

DCAT

Mema test

I don’t know the actual name of this test, but I called it as such because it was so all over the place it felt like the ones in charge of making the DCAT looked at the final draft, saw they were an entire subtest short and crammed these questions two hours before the deadline. It was a mix of both abstract reasoning and vocabulary, and was generally easy: the AR patterns were understandable and didn’t require a lot of analysis, while the vocab words were very few and quite common.

Math I

I read in this one CET tips post that this portion was, and I quote, “pretentiously difficult and time-consuming” and it’s absolutely true! It’s big on derivations of formulas and advanced concepts in algebra, it barely had any basics much to my dismay. My mental block during this part was at its peak: I didn’t know how to solve anything, so I simply substituted each of the missing values in the problem with a number and worked it around until both sides of the equation were equal. That obviously took a lot of effort, which stemmed from my refusal to let go of an item until I feel like I’ve tried my best in solving it. But, it doesn’t have to be the case for you, especially if you’re terribly pressed for time: don’t hesitate to skip if you can’t move forward!

Math II + logical reasoning

Undoubtedly the hardest part of the exam, because no one saw it coming and thus, no one was able to prepare for it. And to think I was already warned by my friends who took the DCAT the week before I did to review statistics: I went through my notes from Grade 9 on combination and permutation, completely unaware that it was going to focus on hypothesis testing and estimation of parameters, which we failed to cover in Grade 11. I thought I’d be able to get by, I remember even praying that there would be only a few items but the entire test revolved around it so I almost literally crawled my way through. As for logic, it was alright until they started using technical terms like I had no idea what modus ponus (hocus pocus?) is and I don’t think I’ve ever had to study that in my life, so I think it’s safe to say I didn’t perform well there.

Reading comprehension

This was pretty similar to the ACET, so the same description and tips apply. Nothing to worry about.

EAPP/Research

This test was the plot twist of the year: DLSU completely took out the traditional type of English subtest (identifying errors, vocabulary, cloze test, etc.) and replaced it with citing in APA format, the principles of academic writing and the parts of a research paper. I had no idea that this was going to be included, and thankfully, those who enrolled in review centers didn’t either so we were all pretty much on equal footing. But, I walked out of it without a scratch: I guess it’ll be easy for you if you contribute to the making of your research papers, but if you’re a freeloader, ayan diba sinabi ko sa inyo may araw rin kayong lahat O ETO NA YUN

Science

This test covers the four major areas: earth science, biology, chemistry and physics. It was so much easier than I expected, because it only centered on terms and definitions of important concepts. I was most worried about the physics portion, since I’ve always considered it to be my waterloo, so you could just imagine my relief when I saw that it was very formulas-based and could be aced by anyone who took it up in Grade 10. (Super long run-on sentence, I’m sorry) I definitely wouldn’t have been able to survive it without the help of Tyler DeWitt, the best Chemistry teacher anyone could ever ask for – I found him on YouTube during a moment of desperation and binge-watched all his videos the day before DCAT, and he is probably the sole reason behind my success.

Life skills

The easiest and best part of the DCAT, because it’s simply a test of your character. It provides you with a set of situations, and all you have to choose which one best applies to you—so, yes there are no wrong answers. It’s easy to think that the most logical way to answer would be to feign sainthood and pick which one makes you look like an Ideal Lasallian/Catholic/Person, but I advise you to stay as true to yourself as possible. Those in admissions have probably seen many people apply this strategy in the past, and will most likely appreciate your honesty and view it as a way of seeing a true glimpse of your character.

UPCAT

Language proficiency

I think I was only sure of about 75% of my answers in this test, and to think this was the easiest part of the UPCAT for me as language is supposed to be my forte. Although it revolved around the basics—identifying errors in sentences, cloze set, rearrangement of sentences to form a paragraph and vocabulary—it came in both English and Filipino, which really tired me out early on.

Science

Hardest test of them all, to the point that taking it felt like my brain was getting hit by different trucks all at once. It covered all four major areas, including earth science. There were a ton of tables, graphs and diagrams that needed to be interpreted, and experiments to be analyzed: it’s big on practical applications and understanding of concepts. Don’t memorize any formulas, acronyms and mnemonics as you definitely will not need it at all.

Math

This test ran through a little bit of everything: from basic algebra to geometry, trigonometry, word problems and even statistics, sequences and number theory. It’s important to memorize all the formulas and learn how to solve problems fast even if they’ve already been twisted around. Math has never been my strong suit, so at this point, I was very close to hyperventilating. I even remember shading the wrong circles for ten questions in a row because I skipped one item. I also took around three bathroom breaks at this point, and spent 30 seconds sat on the toilet praying.

Reading comprehension

This was the first time I ever loathed this kind of test, when it’s supposed to be my strong point. It’s just that the previous subtests were so mentally and emotionally draining, that I didn’t have the brainpower to tackle it. It didn’t help at all that the passages chosen for the UPCAT were not the usual narrative types that are actually entertaining to read, but were incredibly information and detail-heavy. (They made really good memes on Twitter, though: no one was over the patis, newsboy or Super Ferry 9 for a long while.) The best thing to do at this point would be to go for the easiest and shortest ones first, to give your brain time to repair and prepare itself.

USTET

Mental ability

This test seeks to assess your common sense through a mix of logical reasoning, analogical and basic language and arithmetic problems. I don’t think I have to give you tips about this part at all, because it’s that easy.

Science

This test also includes question on all four major areas, but the main difference is that there are close to no practical applications of concepts – surprisingly, UST only cares about the definition of terms. Thus, intensive review probably won’t be needed: you could just skim through your notes from junior high school and have a good grasp of what’s going to be included.

Math

This test had mostly basic algebra and geometry, as well as some word problems – nothing too difficult. One other fun thing was that there was so many of the same type of question, so if you have the formulas memorized and a certain technique in answering, you could get so many (if not all) correctly.

English

This test focused mainly on basic grammar, figures of speech and subject-verb agreement. There was also a tiny part about oral communication and research, which I wasn’t able to prepare for but it’s a good thing I actually bothered paying attention to my teacher in Grade 11 or else I wouldn’t have been able to answer a thing.

THE DAY BEFORE – DURING THE TEST

Now, normally people would tell you to rest the day before any big test: drop all books and notes and mentally psych yourself for the battle up ahead in the form of face masks and comfort food. Although it sounded incredibly tempting, I obviously didn’t follow it because I was running short on time and had so many things I had yet to fully understand. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t experience any adverse effects and even retained everything I had crammed into my head. So, you’re technically still allowed to review: run through flash cards and try a bit more practice problems if you wish. The only thing you have to make sure of is that you do not stay up late: sleep is crucial for memory retention and BASTA PARA DI KA LUTANG, and you do not want to realize that you’ve taken it for granted on such an important date.

Pack all your essentials the night before in (preferably) a small backpack that you can easily lug around. Bring two #2 Mongol pencils, an eraser, your test permit, a school ID just in case and food to snack on: my personal favorites of the season were seaweed crisps that I got for a buy one, take one deal in Robinsons Supermarket, raisins and trail mix. Scientific studies in the past have claimed that chewing motions can help stimulate your brain, but I just believe it just doesn’t feel right to engage in battle on an empty stomach. Coordinate with friends who’ll be in the same testing center as you, in case you won’t be able to survive in such an environment without someone to sympathize with you. Personally, I didn’t bother meeting up with friends for three out of my four tests because I wanted to feel independent and possibly run into new people.

If you’re anything like me and you hold on to God for dear life in almost every situation that brings you difficulty, don’t forget to pray for enlightenment and the capacity to accept His will, whatever it may be. As much as possible, try to hear Mass the day before your entrance test. Funny story, I was supposed to do this on ACET Eve, but we got stuck in traffic and missed the opportunity to. I ended up running to my parish while the staff were closing it (I didn’t even know that was a thing – what about the troubled souls who need guidance in the wee hours of the morning!) and muttering the most desperate prayer under my breath in a minute. I even lit a candle outside because I wanted to pass Ateneo that badly. Looking back, I found that it helped me lots because I was able to lift up all my worries to Him so I wouldn’t have to bring them along with me the next day.

On the test day itself, the best weapon to have in your arsenal is a good mindset. Walk into the testing center like you already passed, stroll along the corridors like it’s your first day in that university and look at every question as another step closer to freedom. Do not overthink or panic: I know it is much easier said than done, but it won’t hurt to fake it till you make it (sometimes, in situations like this, it’s the best option available).

Keep track of time limits: don’t be afraid to glance at the wall clock or your wristwatch from time to time so you can pace yourself properly. Don’t take too long on one item: if you don’t know what to do with it in 20 seconds, just come back to it when you have extra minutes to spare. If you’re not sure about the answer to an item, make the most intelligent guess you can by racking your brain for the very limited stock knowledge you have on that topic. Choose one letter to be your go-to choice if you really don’t know the answer: mine was C (for Christ, truly) although I don’t know if that’s still a wise decision because universities might start picking up on this strategy.

Look back on all your answers: if you have the luxury of time, re-read everything from the instructions to the passages to the choices provided, because sometimes, even if you were 110% sure of what you were answering during that moment, you may have missed something important. If you happen to be one of those beasts who come prepared enough and you’re completely sure of everything already, catch a quick nap to recharge those batteries instead of scouting for attractive fellow test-takers. I swear, there will be many more of them in college: at present, it’s best to exhaust all efforts into actually getting a university.

AFTER THE TEST

The minute the proctor makes you put your pencil down one last time and submit the questionnaire forward, let it go. Completely forget that it happened: don’t spend the succeeding days discussing answers with peers, as it will almost always end with you regretting things you can no longer change. Do not keep a countdown until judgment day ticking in your head either: choose to take this time to let your life return to its normal state. Shift your focus back to your academics for the school year, and be preoccupied with your interests once again during your free time. Remember to treat yourself as well, because we all know it’s not easy to study while simultaneously worrying about your future. After all my CETs, I made sure to eat out with my family and spoil myself with chick flick marathons and skin care products. Most importantly, be sure to keep praying as it is the key to accepting what happens in the future and regaining peace of mind. As cheesy as it sounds, trust in God’s plan for You and know that He has a reason for everything that is about to happen.

Now, on to the final stretch: the release of results. (This is a pretty timely thing to be talking about right now, since as of this writing, I’m waiting for UP to make a move within the week) If you pass your dream school—or any university for that matter—congratulations! Your hard work has finally paid off, and the promising future you’ve built up in your head is slowly turning into a reality. Don’t forget to thank all those who made this possible for you: God, your family, friends and teachers who believed in you through every sleepless night and mid-morning breakdown. Remain humble though, and be careful not to gloat in front of those who didn’t pass. I know you’re not really obliged to act a certain way to please them, especially during a time as joyous as this, but it’s all a matter of empathy: I’m sure you’d feel the same way if the roles were reversed. One thing you’re left to decide with if you’re lucky enough to pass more than one college is where you’re headed off to. Personally, it’s course over school: go for the program that suits you best and will help you pursue the career path you wish, since that will do you more good in the future than the reputation of any institution. If you are not entirely convinced by that spiel, do not hesitate to ask help from those you trust most: preferably family members, teachers and counselors. I left out friends, because I don’t think it’s a wise decision to choose a specific school just because that’s where they’re headed.

If you fail to make the cut, however, indulge in your right to cry right now. I’m sure that it must be disheartening, planning out a future in a school that ended up “rejecting” you in the end, but news flash: the race does not finish here! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get ready for the results of the other schools you have applied for. Be sure to surround yourself with only people who are capable of uplifting your spirits and helping you believe in yourself during such a trying time. If the worst case scenario happens and you are left with no college at the end of the day, it’s time to get hustling: look for universities that are still accepting applications (some schools out there have entrance tests every month, and results come out instantly), or send in letters of appeal if ever you truly have your eyes set on a specific campus. That’s not something I have much expertise on though, but almost everything you will need to know is on the school’s official website.

And, there you have it! Everything I could tell you about the college entrance tests! I spent approximately three days trying to kick my writing slump in the ass: my eyes hurt and I may be suffering from carpal tunnel but all of that means nothing as long as I’ve been able to guide one hopeless soul out of the dark. (Yes, I patterned that after my comprehensive guide to surviving Grade 11 – my brain is dying, and I have no time to think of an ending catchier than that.) I’m on summer break now and I’ll be going to Korea next week, so expect a lot of lighter and more amusing content!

Stay in school, kids!

Angel

[metalandmagi]

February Media Madness!

Hello and welcome to “see how I wasted my time” the post where I keep track of all the media I consume in a month. If you’re new here, this is mainly just my excuse to shout into the void about my feelings on things I’ve watched or read in a month. And it’s almost been a year!

Movies!

Ocean’s 8: Sandra Bullock assembles a team of ladies to steal a super fancy diamond necklace. As someone who has never seen an Ocean’s movie before, I thought this was fun. I like heists, and I LOVE jewel heists. The characters are all great, not particularly deep, but they don’t have to be. And Anne Hathaway steals the show. However, there’s a glaring problem with this movie, and it’s the fact that everything seems ridiculously easy for them, taking away any sense of tension. There’s a lot of points where things should cause significant problems but...don’t. So if you stop asking questions and just go with it, it’s a good time. 7/10

Boku no Hero Academia- Two Heroes: It’s the BNHA version of Die Hard. Seriously, All Might and a bunch of other heroes and citizens are taken hostage by villains in a skyscraper, and the most popular characters from the UA class have to save them. And it’s good. Just like the show. I’ve never gotten hyped up for this series as much as everyone else seems to, but it’s enjoyable and the movie has more of the good action and fun characters! I did feel like it went on a little long, and I wish we had gotten more of the characters doing stuff on the island instead of mainly just the villain plot. I think it’s because it reminded me a lot of the vacation arc in Assassination Classroom. But whatever, it’s still fun and worth watching. 7/10

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Awkward magizoologist Newt Scamander accidentally releases a bunch of magical creatures into 1920s New York and must round them all up with the help of lovable muggle/no-maj Jacob Kowalski. And there’s some horror movie type stuff going on with a creepy kid and Grindelwald in disguise. It’s the spin-off/prequel to Harry Potter that we all know and...love? I know some people resent this movie just for existing, but I like it. I like the creatures. I like going to new places in the wizarding world. I like Newt. I like Tina. I LOVE Queenie and Jacob, both separately and together. The plot is a little...stretched, but I don’t mind that much. And no one had the good sense to keep Colin Farrell as Grindelwald. However, I haven’t seen the second movie yet, so I should probably have my Harry Potter super fan card revoked. I honestly think that this could have been a fine stand alone movie or maybe a duology, where the second movie focuses on the backstory between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, and Grindelwald’s rise to power. I certainly don’t need five movies of this though, and I think everyone would rather see a prequel of Harry Potter’s parents in the marauders era instead. Oh well, I still like this movie for what it is. I just don’t need five of them. 7.5/10

How to Train Your Dragon 2: Five years after the viking village of Berk has accepted dragons instead of fighting them, a mysterious villain with a dragon army wants to...idk take over the world or something, so naturally it’s up to a wiry 20 year old Hiccup to stop the seemingly inevitable war. I love this movie, both as a sequel and a solid story in a trilogy. It has its issues, mainly the fact that it glorifies/glosses over absentee parents and its final act seems like it was hastily rewritten as a merchandising opportunity...but dang other than that I can’t really say anything bad about it. I’m even one of the few people who like the side characters. The time jump feels natural, and I liked seeing everything come together after watching the TV series. It also of course has great music, stunning animation, and a lot of heart and effort put into every minute. I alsothink this sequel has an interesting message about how different people view peace and war and whether or not people are capable of change. So yeah, this is one of those series that I think has something for everyone. 9/10

The Lego Movie 2- The Second Part: Five years after the first Lego movie ends with “aliens” invading, the Lego universe has become a post-apocalyptic society where everything is not awesome. And after another invasion, all the important characters except Emmet get kidnapped, and he has to save everyone from an...evil(?) queen. But really it’s a story about getting along and seeing things from other people’s perspectives. It’s fun, and it has incredibly creative music (and please for the sake of all that is good, watch the credits song). But there are times when I wished it wouldn’t lean so heavily on the...fourth wall breaking from the first movie. I felt like I would have completely understood what must be happening outside the Lego world to drive the plot, and then they would just cut to the human characters to explain everything. But it’s still a great time and hilarious as expected. 8/10

Books!

(To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before) P.S I Still Love You by Jenny Han: The second book in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy. It serves to give you a glimpse into Lara Jean and Peter’s life as a couple. It’s like a sweet slice of life anime where some notable things occur, like the hot tub video plot that was in the movie happens AND JOHN AMBROSE MCCLAREN SHOWS UP..but there’s no real plot. And that’s fine! This was a super fun read, just like the first one, and John Mcclaren is amazing. There’s really only one major problem I have with this book, and it’s Gen’s and Lara Jean’s relationship. Throughout the book LJ knows something bad is happening with Gen’s family. We know that Peter is still Gen’s friend and promised her he wouldn’t say anything, which is justifiable as something friends do! I wish we could have seen Peter trying to convince Gen to apologize or explain the situation to LJ, but it is what it is. However, we also know Gen did something truly terrible in posting the hot tub video, and literally nothing going on in her personal life or her past justifies her being a life ruining bitch just because she feels bad. So what I really wanted to see was LJ marching up to her and saying “I know you’re going through something, but you ruined my fucking life for no apparent reason, so I demand an apology and an explanation” like the boss she is. And, as anyone who watched the movie knows, Gen tries to be the martyr and gain sympathy by placing the blame on LJ because of something that happened in FREAKING MIDDLE SCHOOL!  I cannot stress enough how out of line Gen’s character is, and no amount of hastily garnered sympathy or backstory reveals will make her better. But yeah other than that, it was very enjoyable. And if Lara Jean doesn’t want John Ambrose Mcclaren, then I’ll take him. 8/10

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo: It’s the start of a new series in Bardugo’s “Grishaverse”. And yes you absolutely need to read both the Grisha Trilogy and the Six of Crows duology to read this. KoS centers around the now King Nikolai Lanstov who has been possessed by a monster created by the Darkling. Also Ravka is once again on the brink of war, Nikolai must think about getting married, and there’s a cult that wants the Darkling to made a saint. But actually, this book is split into three different stories: one following Nikolai and Zoya trying to get rid of the monster, one following Nina on a secret mission in Fjerda, and one following what's happening in Ravka while Nikolai is away. So basically, one part Nina being a badass, one part eldritch horror story, and one part The Prince and The Pauper. And it was pretty good...except for the fact that I understood almost none of Nikolai and Zoya’s story after the second half of the book. I wasn’t into the...saint business because it seemed so out of place for this series. I also feel like she missed out on some great characters meeting each other. Oh well, it’s still a great study in world building and character interactions, the ending is buck wild, and Nina continues to be a bisexual disaster...so it’s worth it. 8/10

The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis: Several decades before the Pevensies stepped through the wardrobe, young Digory Kirke (aka the Professor) and Polly Plummer are roped into a traumatizing adventure of their own. Only instead of saving Narnia, they accidentally release a younger but just as intimidating Jadis from her own dying world into London, and in an attempt to get her out of Earth, end up letting her loose in the newly created Narnia. This is probably the book with the most similarities to TLTWATW, with a truly terrifying villain, a winding but whimsical plot, and a lot of humor. Digory and Polly are the most well written children so far. They are both hilarious great characters in their own ways, and I love seeing them fight and make up like actual kids who are friends. While Digory has to go through his own redemption arc similarly to Edmund, Polly is always there as the voice of the audience telling him to not be a dumbass. Not to mention whenever he tries to get away with saying something sexist, she’s shuts him down like a badass. And there’s also a London cabby who literally tells Aslan that he’ll be king of Narnia if his awesome wife gets to come too...and there’s a horse named Strawberry that turns into a Pegasus. So what’s not to like? People may complain about all the religious metaphors and creationism, but come on lighten up. At least it’s not horribly racist, and you’ll long for the simple biblical similarities when you’re faced with the layers of religious offense in The Last Battle. 9/10

The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis (mild spoilers): The final book in the Chronicles of Narnia series, in which the world ends because a talking ape convinces a donkey to dress up as Aslan to trick all the Narnians into giving them stuff. There’s a lot more to this plot, but those are the basics. There is a TON of stuff to unpack in this epic conclusion, and this isn’t even the half of it.

This book seems like the Last Jedi for this series, in that some people are incredibly moved by it and are very happy with the conclusion our main characters have been given, and some people think it’s a pile of crap. I think there is good in this book. But, putting aside my good feelings for a second, THE LAST BATTLE IS ONE OF THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLY RACIST THINGS I’VE EVER READ...voluntarily anyway. Seriously, if you thought The Horse and His Boy was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. There are many layers of why this particular plot in the series is so offensive I could write essays on why this book should be thrown out the window. Not to mention the Susan problem. So I'll say, that even though there were good things in this book, it doesn't excuse...everything else. Also Eustace isn’t as snarky in this one...I miss my sarcastic sass boy.

HOWEVER, unlike some people, I think it was exactly the conclusion that the series has been leading up to since the beginning. I think the plot of an imposter Aslan and the effect it would have on Narnians is cool. And much like the book of Revelation, the end of the world is weird, confusing, and dark as fuck considering this is a children’s book. He invokes an amazing sense of fear and sadness, considering we just saw the birth of Narnia in the last book. And I am one of the people who loved the last few pages. It was an interesting take on heaven, theology, and the questions of “is Aslan also Tash? Is one religion better? Are all gods the same?” are dealt with very well considering that was one of the most problematic aspects of the book. I love literally all the characters you can think of reuniting in the end...except for Susan. I will say, Susan no longer being a friend of Narnia was led up to throughout the other books, and I think what Polly says about her wanting to be grown up rings true...in a sense. What we really need is a new series for Susan where she becomes a friend of Narnia again and gets her happy ending, rather than just “oh look makeup, guess I can’t be in Narnia anymore.” AND YET Lewis finally abandoned the idea of “girls shouldn’t be fighting” and made Jill a super secret ninja spy/badass archer warrior woman. So...I can’t even say it’s as sexist as the other books. There’s also a male talking unicorn who is best friends with the current king...and it kind of seems like they have a thing for each other...so there’s that.

Some people are angry that it is so religiously based and the allegories are so in your face, but at this point if you're reading the Chronicles of Narnia and are upset that there's religion in it, I don't know what to tell you. Truthfully, I thought he did the allegory for the church controlling the population very well, and the idea judgement based on whether you actively hate Aslan instead of being about how you’re either a good or bad person was so cool and different. But honestly, I just don't know what to feel. I'm happy for the characters in the end...I liked the overall idea of this final book...but man it can be super uncomfortable to the point that I don’t even want to rate it.

TV Shows!

Kitten Rescuers: Why yes, it is the incredibly wholesome British TV show about the RSPCA going around and rescuing cats from bizarre and/or dangerous situations, like being stuck up chimneys or drain pipes. And yes, it is the purest thing you will ever watch, even with My Roommate is a Cat in the running as the best cat themed show of the year. I don’t care if it seems like a big commercial for the RSPCA sometimes, I just want to see some cute kittens get their happy endings. My only complaint is that there’s only 8 episodes on Netflix, and I’m desperate for more. 100 adorable feline friends/10

Re: Zero Starting Life in Another World: You know, the anime everyone lost their shit over in 2016? The isekai where the main protagonist keeps re-spawning every time he dies in the fantasy world he is magically transported to and does nothing but suffer? But hey it has those two twin maids with the pink and blue hair in it so it’s all fine? That one. The English dub finally released the second half of the show, so I finished it. AND YES THE DUB IS ACTUALLY GOOD! And the show is fine too. But I feel like I sort of...lost the gist of why everything was happening in those last 12 episodes. However, there was a lot to like about this series overall, and yes Rem truly is best girl. I was just more invested in the first half of the series. 8/10

Honorable Mentions

I watched Christopher Robin again...and I still love it.

I read the first volume of the Tsurune light novel. It’s fine, but I liked the anime better.

Shadowhunters is back for its final...half season?

I’m currently watching The Umbrella Academy, and it’s AMAZING! I can’t wait to finish it!

The Masked Singer (U.S version) has finally ended. And now there’s a trashy hole in my heart. 

[nemesis-nexus]

Full Beaver Frost Moon 2018

AVE NINGIZHEDA! The Full Moon is upon us and it is a treasure whose worth is beyond calculation. As I sit in contemplation of the things that have happened in the last month, it never ceases to amaze me how low some people will sink! The shining Moon has been the one thing that has the ability to neutralize any stress I might be dealing with and enables me to meditate on any situation for any length of time. When I sit outside in front of my Altar I can feel the energy flowing all around, especially when the wind starts blowing! The strength of each gust always increases the deeper I go, this is how I know that the energy is moving and the feeling while it’s happening is indescribable! Of course this occurs if one does a ritual inside their home and the feeling is similar but it’s not quite the same as being out in it!

As I looked out my front door I saw the Full Moon in the sky, lighting up the darkness so effortlessly and never asking for anything from anyone to provide this light that so many have relied on to make their way to wherever they were going at night without having to worry about walking off a cliff or into a fight with a beast they had no intention of disturbing! The moon itself if a wonder that many take for granted especially now because people are so busy developing their cities and literally flooding them with artificial light that they all but forget about the Moon and the Stars above them and why?

Because they can’t see them and because they can’t they take for granted that both will always be there because they always have. What these people fail to realize is that many of the technological advances that we have now come from studying the Moon and Stars! For example we know that the waves in the ocean respond to the pull of the Moon energy, when you know how waves will react at almost any given time and how high they will get you then can build walls along the shoreline to protect the city. You can also determine when a good time to set sail to a remote location will be as the sea is a harsh mistress and she takes no prisoners!

Tonight’s Full Moon was named the Beaver Full Moon by the Algonquin Tribe of North America, it was so named because this is the time of year when they would begin to lay traps to catch as many beavers as possible so as to fashion their furs into clothing warm enough to survive the very harsh Northern Winter! As someone who lives in the same general area I can say there are times when I wish I had a few beaver furs to withstand the cold, this Autumn is no exception. It’s quite cold out and it's not Winter yet but it does indicate just how hard our asses are going to be kicked in the Winter.

Tonight’s Full Moon is also called the Frost Moon by other First Nation Tribes because this is supposed to be the time of year when the first frosts are on the ground and we have experienced our first frost, it's been incredibly cold. I watched a video a farmer took, it was a sunny day on the farm and nothing SEEMED out of the ordinary, that is until he started showing still water - a favorite of flies, gnats and other winged insects - and there were none to be found! Another thing that he pointed out was the ant hill bumps in the dirt - but not ONE SINGLE ant to be seen anywhere!

Unfortunately a lot of people would write this off as a GOOD thing because who like flies buzzing everywhere or ants crawling all over everything? They would be DEAD WRONG! Flies, while annoying, are still a part of the overall ecosystem just like ants, both are quite adaptable to virtually any climate and tend to multiply like rabbits so when they disappear without a trace people’s red flags should be starting to climb up the pole!

If something WE consider a pest, that can exist anywhere, for whatever reason suddenly ceases to exist in an as close to nature as you can get environment such as a farm, there is a reason and even though the ants may simply be staying underground due to the unseasonable heat, that doesn’t explain the lack of flies. These natural warning signs should NOT be ignored because they are indicative of something not being right with the environment itself!

This could be due to chemicals in the Water – it has already been proven that the MYRIAD of fracking sites have not only put chemicals into the ground, the constant fracturing of the Earth’s Mantle is creating fissures that could be DRAINING the lakes in certain areas so the fresh Water is no longer available! This is not good because it’s as though the Earth is starting to take stock of what SHE has left that is viable and leaving us with what WE created through our fracking and drilling for oil, flushing expired medication, dumping coal mining debris, dumping toxic waste and general trash we throw into the Water INCLUDING HUMAN AND ANIMAL CORPSES!

It is time that we as a species that was put on this planet with ONE JOB to do took off our blinders and realize that if we keep going the way that we are, that we will NOT be here too much longer! In fact when the Human Race does tip the Scales too far and we have made it that we cannot survive in the World that we created, it will NOT be the result of nuclear war or an alien invasion, it will not be the fault of any God in our Divine Family, it will be the result of Human greed, arrogance and selfishness!

There are too many Humans who are all out destroying the ecosystem and even more ready and willing to follow suit and WHY? Because instant gratification and personal wealth are more important to them than LIVING! These are the ones who are going to find out real quick that you cannot in fact eat money or drink oil or breathe smog! They have no care about how what they are doing will impact the rest of the world - including the Working Class many of them so callously UNDER pay, the Animal Kingdom and the Elements themselves because they think that their money will save them!

NEWSFLASH Rockerfeller, your money WON’T be able to stop the Wildfires from burning down your multi million-dollar homes or businesses, it WON’T stop the Earthquake or sinkhole from devouring you completely, it WON’T revive the dead Human, Animal or Otherwise! So while you’re sitting there on top of your manmade hill thinking that you are above reproach and that you are invincible, allow me to remind you of the Titanic disaster and that despite their large fortunes and accumulated wealth that people such as Col. John Jacob Astor (one of his more famous hotels is the Waldorf-Astoria) as well as Ida and Isidor Straus (founders of Macy’s) were among the DEAD after the Titanic struck the iceberg! The lesson here? Nature does not care how important you THINK you are or how much money or material wealth you possess, if you set out to “show her who’s boss” your quest is not only in vein, she will show YOU and no amount of money you have is going to change your status as far as SHE is concerned!

Right now we are ALL on the Titanic and we are about to hit the iceberg at high speed! The Titanic is this case is the arrogance of those who think they can do whatever they want to and that they will never have to answer for it! They think that just because they can pay some Humans off to brutalize other Humans who are standing in their way, this means that they are always in control! This could not be any further from the case because once the Water becomes tainted, SO WILL ALL THE BOTTLED WATER! There is not a Brita filter or any kind of filtration device that will ever clean that Water to the point where it will be drinkable and what a lot of these people don’t realize is that BOTTLED Water is in reality nothing but TAP WATER bottled at the same facility that creates Coke and Pepsi, whose industrial runoff has done more damage than the rest of us will ever know!

It will also be extremely difficult to maintain a carnivorous diet if you can’t feed the animals to keep their numbers up! Companies such as Monsanto REQUIRE their workers to wear hazmat suits just to water their industrial gardens! If you can’t water your garden without a hazmat suit there is a reason why, there is ALSO a reason why SEVERAL other countries have banned the use of GMO’s for ANY reason! Terminator Seeds are not going to help anyone because you need to have enough to plant year after year as they don’t come back and how are you going to plant ANYTHING if the soil is so thoroughly saturated with chemicals from things such as acid rain, oil spills and War Debris (Agent Orange, Napalm, Sulfur, Uranium)?

You can’t because the soil is so destroyed it won’t grow anything and if by chance it did, you certainly don’t want to be eating it! This is why after the Deepwater Horizon disaster in 2011 and after Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Fukushima and now more recently the spill off of Newfoundland, people could not eat the seafood from the Gulf Coast, Japanese Coast or anything that's even remotely close to the Newfoundland Coast due to the contamination of the Water with the oil!

During this Full Beaver Moon it is clear that we need to reevaluate many things about ourselves as a species; petty selfishness and instant gratification has lead us to the crossroads we are currently at and to the governments we have, the question is do we fight it or do we work with it and decide among OURSELVES if we like what the current and future ruling bodies have to say? Only one of these roads will determine whether we are taken seriously on any level, especially a political and more importantly an environmental one!

The other thing that has lead us to where we are is that we have forgotten ourselves on a Spiritual level and the proof of that is in our willingness to allow the Earth to be drilled into, fractured and blown open for its oil, gas, uranium and copper deposits, even if it means leveling yet another mountainside or National Park! There has been an exponential increase in seismic activity due to pressure shale fracking and oil drilling, there has been an increase in mudslides and that is due to strip-mining for mineral deposits! The wildfires raging California are mainly being caused by companies such as Nestle being allowed to suck all the water out of the ground leaving the brush and the soil so dry that it's nothing short of kindling!

If there are no rocks or trees in place to keep the soil from moving, all that is needed is just enough rain to created mud that when it is on an angles WILL begin to start sliding downward! If there is no water to maintain the lushness of the soil and plant life, then it can't fend-off raging fires! The newly elected president of Brazil came out and said that if the Indigenous Amazonian tribes didn't adapt that they would have to go away because who cares if the Amazonian rainforest is parceled out to developers and oil companies? Who cares what happens to these people after all they are not us right?

With regards specifically to the Amazon itself, why should we care, after all the only thing that trees and vegetation do is provide us with OXYGEN! So what if we tear up the woods and natural habitats of Wildlife, how dare they want their homes to remain UNINVADED? We are guilty of over developing in the forest here then we turn around and complain about how Coyotes, Bobcats, Wolves and OTHER predators are showing up in the streets and eating the Humans pets! They are doing this because they don’t see a difference between a dog and a badger! MEAT IS MEAT and if we want them to continue to hunt in the woods then we need to LEAVE THE WOODS AND THE AMAZON AS WELL AS THE AMAZONIAN TRIBES ALONE!

Humans have forgotten what it means to coexist with the very ecosystem which enables it to live, instead choosing to believe that they are superior, then they don't know what to do when an Earthquake, Tornado or Tsunami strike! They need to remember they are part of the system, not above or beneath it and that it is absolutely imperative that they work with it for the sake of their own survival!

The reason we have the kind of intelligence we do is not a freak accident, but intentional! We were given the intellect to oversee the goings on of our respective parts of the Earth and to live side by side with it! To enjoy life and to protect that which is the most import to ALL of our survival - the thing that the Grande Council had to rain down the most extreme punishment the first time due to our arrogance - the HEART (EARTH) of our very existence!

As I gaze upon the Moon I can’t help but wonder if all humans will ever wake up to what they are doing, but one thing I do know for certain is that there are many who have woken up and can see what is happening, not just on a physical level but “between the cracks” if you will, they keep to themselves what they see because they know what’s to come and they also know most humans would deny it even if they were told! There is a reason why the Moon Pool and Trail look so hypnotic on the water… It is the silent voice of the Cosmos calling out to us, whispering those memories we all possess of a life beyond what we are currently living!

Father I implore you to help those whose allegiance to the almighty dollar has led them to not only jeopardize the LIFE giving element of Water, but to sue for the right to endanger it while brutalizing any and all humans trying to protect it! Remind them that not only is it a RIGHT, but that it is a NATURAL ELEMENT, of which EVERYONE deserves access to a clean, NONINDUSTRIAL tainted supply! Remind them that they are not more important just because they have more human currency, nor will they curry favor in your eyes for denying others that which you provided us ALL with simply because they feel they can!

If we keep on the course we are currently on, cutting down the forests, stripping the mountiainsides, blasting the ground and gutting the mineral deposits, drilling the shale and messing with fault lines, we are going to cause a natural disaster unlike we have ever seen before and we will bring it all down on ourselves!

Great Father who keeps track of everything, I ask that you keep watch over us, to not lose hope in us just yet because there ARE those who are still fighting and who are not willing to back down! We know that our Father has not given up on the human race and neither will we! Until the very last breath leaves our bodies we will continue to strive, to move forward and to help others do the same!

Even though things seem bleak, even though the future is uncertain, we will keep moving forward as we know that we can get through whatever rough time because we have our Blessed Father on our side and he has no problem telling us to get our shit together and be ready because we never know just what may be around the corner or on the horizon!

While you won’t fight our battles for us, we know that we are able to combat any situation ourselves because we were created in the image of the most glorious Beings in all the Multiverse! We also know that if we are ever in need of guidance that you will be there to help us along! You may not always use human words, sometimes instead choosing nature’s vocabulary, however if we pay close enough attention we know just what it is you are saying!

Blessed Father, I know that we will get through these hard times, I know because as stubborn as people are they are also scared of the unknown and I think once those fears are ABLE to be cast aside that people will calm down. It sickens me that those who are rioting in the street are most likely only doing so because it’s staged! That they need everyone to be focused on these distractions so that they are not paying attention to what's actually happening!

On this Full Beaver Moon I wish everyone glad ridings and the comfort of Friends and Family to keep you warm through the rest of the Autumn Season! I wish you the peace that comes with taking care of your own and doing what you can to help those that need it! I wish you the presence of mind to always stand up for what is right and to always stand against injustice no matter what form it takes or who the aggressor is! Most of all I wish you Spiritual Guidance and Healing to help you with whatever issues you may be facing, do not ever be afraid to ask Father for help when the burden becomes too much for one person to carry!

“If you understand or if you don't

If you believe or if you doubt

There's a Universal Justice

And the Eyes of Truth

Are ALWAYS watching you.

-Enigma"

ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA!

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una!

Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In NINGIZHEDA Nomen Nos Fides! AVE NINGIZHEDA!

(We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER!

Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In NINGIZHEDA'S Name We Trust! HAIL NINGIZHEDA!)

AVÉ URURU! AVÉ ENKI/EA!

AVÉ NINGIZHEDA! AVÉ NINHURSAG!

AVÉ ININNI! AVÉ DIMUZI!

AVÉ IGGIGI! AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ  DRACONIS! HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

HPS Meg “Nemesis Nexus” Prentiss

[nemesis-nexus]

Full Beaver Frost Moon 2017 AVÈ MARDUK! AVE SATANI! The Full Moon is upon us and it is a treasure whose worth is beyond calculation. As I sit in contemplation of the things that have happened in the last month, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders! The shining Moon has been the one thing that has the ability to neutralize any stress I might be dealing with and enables me to meditate on any situation for any length of time. When I sit outside in front of my Altar I can feel the energy flowing all around, especially when the wind starts blowing! The strength of each gust always increases the deeper I go, this is how I know that the energy is moving and the feeling while it’s happening is indescribable! Of course this occurs if one does a ritual inside their home and the feeling is similar but it’s not quite the same as being out in it! As I looked out my front door I saw the Full Moon in the sky, lighting up the darkness so effortlessly and never asking for anything from anyone to provide this light that so many have relied on to make their way to wherever they were going at night without having to worry about walking off a cliff or into a fight with a beast they had no intention of disturbing! The moon itself if a wonder that many take for granted especially now because people are so busy developing their cities and literally flooding them with artificial light that they all but forget about the Moon and the Stars above them and why? Because they can’t see them and because they can’t they take for granted that both will always be there because they always have. What these people fail to realize is that many of the technological advances that we have now come from studying the Moon and Stars! For example we know that the waves in the ocean respond to the pull of the Moon energy, when you know how waves will react at almost any given time and how high they will get you then can build walls along the shoreline to protect the city. You can also determine when a good time to set sail to a remote location will be as the sea is a harsh mistress and she takes no prisoners! Tonight’s Full Moon was named the Beaver Full Moon by the Algonquin Tribe of North America, it was so named because this is the time of year when they would begin to lay traps to catch as many beavers as possible so as to fashion their furs into clothing warm enough to survive the very harsh Northern Winter! As someone who lives in the same general area I can say there are times when I wish I had a few beaver furs to withstand the cold, however this particular Autumn, there doesn’t seem to be a need and that is not good. It’s unseasonably warm and while it could just be Nature trying to be nice because she knows how hard our asses are going to be kicked in the Winter, I would rather have a balanced Autumn and Winter cycle even though I hate the cold. Tonight’s Full Moon is also called the Frost Moon by other First Nation Tribes because this is supposed to be the time of year when the first frosts are on the ground and while the weather has been somewhat chilly at times, I was able to do my ritual outside in shorts and a tshirt because it was that warm, an obvious contrast to what should have been the case, me outside freezing my butt off until such time as I got things going at which point the “temperature” in the circle would have regulated itself and made itself a non-issue. This deviation is not overly alarming but given all the things that are happening in the world, especially the manmade interferences such as the expulsion of various chemicals that are the result of industrial waste - it doesn’t help when these places go up in flames or in the case of Hurricane Harvey, have the chemicals in their plants explode sending even more pollution not only into the Air, but into the Water as well! As Satanists we should be extremely concerned whenever the weather is not normal because between the weather and the animal kingdom, this is how we know when something is not right and that we are in for rough times ahead. For example recently I watched a video a farmer took, it was a sunny day on the farm and nothing SEEMED out of the ordinary, that is until he started showing still water - a favorite of flies, gnats and other winged insects - and there were none to be found! Another thing that he pointed out was the ant hill bumps in the dirt - but not ONE SINGLE ant to be seen anywhere! Unfortunately a lot of people would write this off as a GOOD thing because who like flies buzzing everywhere or ants crawling all over everything? They would be DEAD WRONG! Flies, while annoying, are still a part of the overall ecosystem just like ants, both are quite adaptable to virtually any climate and tend to multiply like rabbits so when they disappear without a trace people’s red flags should be starting to climb up the pole! If something WE consider a pest, that can exist anywhere, for whatever reason suddenly ceases to exist in an as close to nature as you can get environment such as a farm, there is a reason and even though the ants may simply be staying underground due to the unseasonable heat, that doesn’t explain the lack of flies. These natural warning signs should NOT be ignored because they are indicative of something not being right with the environment itself! This could be due to chemicals in the Water – it has already been proven that the MYRIAD of fracking sites have not only put chemicals into the ground, the constant fracturing of the Earth’s Mantle is creating fissures that could be DRAINING the lakes in certain areas so the fresh Water is no longer available! This is not good because it’s as though the Earth is starting to take stock of what SHE has left that is viable and leaving us with what WE created through our, fracking and drilling for oil, flushing expired medication, dumping coal mining debris, dumping toxic waste and general trash we throw into the Water INCLUDING HUMAN AND ANIMAL CORPSES! It is time that we as a species that was put on this planet with ONE JOB to do took off our blinders and realize that if we keep going the way that we are, that we will NOT be here too much longer! In fact when the Human Race does tip the Scales too far and we have made it that we cannot survive in the World that we created, it will NOT be the result of nuclear war or an alien invasion, it will be the result of Human greed, arrogance and selfishness! There are too many Humans who are all out destroying the ecosystem and even more ready and willing to follow suit and WHY? Because instant gratification and personal wealth are more important to them than LIVING! These are the ones who are going to find out real quick that you cannot in fact eat money or drink oil or breathe smog! They have no care about how what they are doing will impact the rest of the world - including the Working Class many of them so callously UNDER pay, the Animal Kingdom and the Elements themselves because they think that their money will save them! NEWSFLASH Rockerfeller, your money WON’T be able to stop the Wildfires from burning down your businesses, it WON’T stop the Earthquake or sinkhole from devouring you completely, it WON’T revive the dead Human, Animal or Otherwise! So while you’re sitting there on top of your manmade hill thinking that you are above reproach and that you are invincible, allow me to remind you of the Titanic disaster and that despite their large fortunes and accumulated wealth that people such as Col. John Jacob Astor (one of his more famous hotels is the Waldorf-Astoria) as well as Ida and Isidor Straus (founders of Macy’s) were among the DEAD after the Titanic struck the iceberg! The lesson here? Nature does not care how important you THINK you are or how much money or material wealth you possess, if you set out to “show her who’s boss” your quest is not only in vein, she will show YOU and no amount of money you have is going to change your status as far as SHE is concerned! Right now we are ALL on the Titanic and we are about to hit the iceberg at high speed! The Titanic is this case is the arrogance of those who think they can do whatever they want to and that they will never have to answer for it! They think that just because they can pay other Humans off to brutalize other Humans who are standing in their way, this means that they are always in control! This could not be any further from the case because once the Water becomes tainted, SO WILL ALL THE BOTTLED WATER! There is not a Brita filter or any kind of filtration device that will ever clean that Water to the point where it will be drinkable and what a lot of these people don’t realize is that BOTTLED Water is in reality nothing but TAP WATER bottled at the same facility that creates Coke and Pepsi, whose industrial runoff has done more damage than the rest of us will ever know! It will also be extremely difficult to maintain a carnivorous diet if you can’t feed the animals to keep their numbers up! Companies such as Monsanto REQUIRE their workers to wear hazmat suits just to water their industrial gardens! If you can’t water your garden without a hazmat suit there is a reason why, there is ALSO a reason why SEVERAL other countries have banned the use of GMO’s for ANY reason! Terminator Seeds are not going to help anyone because you need to have enough to plant year after year as they don’t come back and how are you going to plant ANYTHING if the soil is so thoroughly saturated with chemicals from things such as acid rain, oil spills and War Debris (Agent Orange, Napalm, Sulfur, Uranium)? You can’t because the soil is so destroyed it won’t grow anything and if by chance it did, you certainly don’t want to be eating it! This is why after the Deepwater Horizon disaster in 2011 and after Nagasaki and Hiroshima and then more recently Fukushima, people could not eat the seafood from the Gulf Coast due to the contamination of the Water with the oil and MULTIPLE beaches along the Gulf Coast were closed due to toxicity and TAR SANDS washing up onshore! People were evacuated from the afore mentioned areas in Japan both back in the 1940’s and again in 2011 because the radiation from the bombs known as Fat Man and Little Boy and the meltdown of the Fukushima reactor from the Earthquake and Tsunami made the areas themselves SO toxic that people to this day are STILL born with birth defects from the bombs and many are still told not to farm the land around the reactor due to radiation poisoning in the soil and most people won’t eat fish that is imported from ANYWHERE in the area due to contamination concerns! During this Full Beaver Moon it is clear that we need to reevaluate many things about ourselves as a species; petty selfishness and instant gratification has lead us to the crossroads we are currently at and to the governments we have, the question is do we fight it or do we work with it and decide among OURSELVES if we like what the current and future ruling bodies have to say? Only one of these roads will determine whether we are taken seriously on any level, especially a political and more importantly an environmental one! The other thing that has lead us to where we are is that we have forgotten ourselves on a Spiritual level and the proof of that is in our willingness to allow the Earth to be drilled into, fractured and blown open for its oil, gas, uranium and copper deposits, even if it means leveling yet another mountainside or National Park! We wonder why mudslides are occuring, it is due to strip-mining for mineral deposits! If there are no rocks or trees in place to keep the soil from moving, all that is needed is just enough rain to created mud that when it is on an angles WILL begin to start sliding downward! Who cares if ANOTHER THREE THOUSAND acres of rainforest is cleared to make room for grazing lands for cattle? Why should we care, after all the only thing that trees and vegetation does is provide us with OXYGEN! So what if we tear up the woods and natural habitats of Wildlife, how dare they want their homes to remain UNINVADED? Then we bitch and moan about how Coyotes, Bobcats, Wolves and OTHER predators are showing up in the streets and eating the Humans pets! They are doing this because they don’t see a difference between a dog and a badger! MEAT IS MEAT and if we want them to continue to hunt in the woods then we need to LEAVE THE WOODS ALONE! Humans have forgotten what it means to coexist with the very ecosystem which enables it to live, instead choosing to believe that they are superior, then they don't know what to do when an Earthquake, Tornado or Tsunami strike! They need to remember they are part of the system, not above or beneath it and that it is absolutely imperative that they work with it for the sake of their own survival! The reason we have the kind of intelligence we do is not a freak accident, but intentional! We were given the intellect to oversee the goings on of our respective parts of the Earth and to live side by side with it! To enjoy life and to protect that which is the most import to ALL of our survival - the thing that Grandmother Tiamat was destined to complete and Father Marduk was destined to protect - the HEART (EARTH) of our very existence! As I gaze upon the Moon I can’t help but wonder if all humans will ever wake up to what they are doing, but one thing I do know for certain is that there are many who have woken up and can see what is happening, not just on a physical level but “between the cracks” if you will, they keep to themselves what they see because they know what’s to come and they also know most humans would deny it even if they were told! There is a reason why the Moon Pool and Trail look so hypnotic on the water… It is the silent voice of the Cosmos calling out to us, whispering those memories we all possess of a life beyond what we are currently living! Father I implore you to help those whose allegiance to the almighty dollar has led them to not only jeopardize the LIFE giving element of Water, but to sue for the right to endanger it while brutalizing any and all humans trying to protect it! Remind them that not only is it a RIGHT, but that it is a NATURAL ELEMENT, of which EVERYONE deserves access to a clean, NONINDUSTRIAL tainted supply! Remind them that they are not more important just because they have more human currency, nor will they curry favor in your eyes for denying others that which you provided us ALL with simply because they feel they can! If we keep on the course we are currently on, cutting down the forests, stripping the mountiainsides, blasting the ground and gutting the mineral deposits, drilling the shale and messing with fault lines, we are going to cause a natural disaster unlike we have ever seen before and we will bring it all down on ourselves! Great Father who keeps track of everything, I ask that you keep watch over us, to not lose hope in us just yet because there ARE those who are still fighting and who are not willing to back down! We know that our Father Marduk has not given up on the human race and neither will we! Until the very last breath leaves our bodies we will continue to strive, to move forward and to help others do the same! Even though things seem bleak, even though the future is uncertain, we will keep moving forward as we know that we can get through whatever rough time because we have our Blessed Father Marduk on our side and he has no problem telling us to get our shit together and be ready because we never know just what may be around the corner or on the horizon! While you won’t fight our battles for us, we know that we are able to combat any situation ourselves because we were created in the image of the most glorious Being in all the Multiverse! We also know that if we are ever in need of guidance that you will be there to help us along! You may not always use human words, sometimes instead choosing nature’s vocabulary, however if we pay close enough attention we know just what it is you are saying! Blessed Father Marduk, I know that we will get through these hard times, I know because as stubborn as people are they are also scared of the unknown and I think once those fears are ABLE to be cast aside that people will calm down. It sickens me that those who are rioting in the street are most likely only doing so because it’s staged! That they would allow themselves to be bought off like that is a global embarrassment! What is worse is that for all the riots that broke out that neither the RIOT POLICE nor the NATIONAL GUARD were EVER deployed to get control of the situation!!! On this Full Beaver Moon I wish everyone glad ridings and the comfort of Friends and Family to keep you warm through the rest of the Autumn Season! I wish you the peace that comes with taking care of your own and doing what you can to help those that need it! I wish you the presence of mind to always stand up for what is right and to always stand against injustice no matter what form it takes or who the aggressor is! Most of all I wish you Spiritual Guidance and Healing to help you with whatever issues you may be facing, do not ever be afraid to ask Father for help when the burden becomes too much for one person to carry! “If you understand or if you don't If you believe or if you doubt There's a Universal Justice And the Eyes of Truth Are ALWAYS watching you. -Enigma" ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA! MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE! Etiamsi MULTA Et Nos UNUM Sumus Nos Sto Validus Ut Nos Sto Una! Semper Veritas, Semper Fideles, In Diabolus Nomen Nos Fides! AVE SATANÍ! (We Are ONE Even Though We Are MANY And We Stand STRONGEST When We Stand TOGETHER! Always TRUTHFUL, Always FAITHFUL, In Satan's Name We Trust! HAIL SATAN!) Ave URURU! Ave EA! Ave DIMUZI! Ave ININNI! Ave GILGAMESH! Ave ENKIDU! Ave TIAMAT! Ave ABSU! Ave MARDUK! Ave SARPANITUM! Ave SATANÍ! HAIL SATAN! HPS Meg “Nemesis Nexus” Prentiss