#i cannot sleep because i immediately got sick after she left please save me

[r-adio]

i should be somewhat un/shado/wbanned so i'm hoping everyone i just followed back saw me do it, but i really can't tell atm & my gf is still asleep

[scretladyspider]

please don’t scroll; I really need your help to reach my gofundme goal of $3500 and not become homeless.

Im Elle, a queer, ace, disabled person with ADHD, depression, and two cats. In November, I lost my job without warning. I have no savings as the job already had me living to the last dollar of every paycheck. I was denied unemployment and food stamps. I cannot work away from home, a physical job, or something with strict hours due to some yet-to-be-diagnosed illness.

this is my story — what’s going on & how I got here. (Smaller text used because it’s a lot of information/a long post.)

In early 2018, I was doing regular walk/runs. In 2019, I stopped being able to run, so I went on walks. Running took hours, then days, to recover from. My body couldn’t produce energy to do it consistently, so, walks. In 2020, I kept going on walks and tried to do aerobics. I was not able to keep doing aerobics. My body took hours upon hours to recover, where before it hadn’t, I was alone for almost all of 2020, and never developed COVID symptoms; it was what happened with running all over again. In 2021, it started to take more time to recover from walks. Then I started to need to take a nap immediately after I clocked out from work— and it was a work from home job. In 2022, I began to go from my sitting desk job straight to my bed most days, laying down exhausted right after work, even sleeping through lunch to get some rest.

On New Year's Eve 2023, I spent 30 minutes cleaning, including vacuuming my living room. I had to rest the rest of the day.

In the last five years, I've gone from running to being exhausted for hours by taking my garbage to the curb.

Imagine you were someone who enjoyed recreational exercise. Now imagine doing 1/100th of that and feeling sick for days. Thats me.

There are other symptoms also. More vulnerability to infection and more trouble fighting infection. Shooting, sharp muscle pains in large muscles such as the thigh or forearm, like a pinched nerve, that come and go at random. Pulse rate that skyrockets upon standing, to go back to normal soon after. Stomach inflammation. Inflammation without major swelling. Headaches. Complete inability to tolerate heat, leading to excruciating migraines that only go away with things like cold showers, electrolytes, and hours of rest in the dark with ice. Muscles that literally don't feel like they're getting oxygen. Random rashes. Face flushing. Being much more easily out of breath, yawning over and over, like I can't get air correctly. Weight gain, no matter what I eat or don't eat.

And just being so, so tired.

In summer of 2018, something… stopped working in my body. I felt sick all the time. I had a low, unexplainable fever nearly every day. Shooting nerve pain would wake me up at night. The doctor said I had a cold. But months went by and I didn’t get better. When my blood work and thyroid hormone level was normal, I was referred to a rheumatologist.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after he made me wait 45 minutes, came in and asked “are you tired?", poked me hard, said I was tender, and left without running tests. This sort of “uhm the standard blood work came back normal, have you tried exercising more? I know you’re here because your body can’t recover from it but have you tried more of that? Also going to sleep at night?” has been the response over and over and over for five years. It got to the point where I even started to wonder if I was somehow making it up. I see a psych nurse. She thinks there's more than just depression, ADHD, and other things - though we both agree that managing those is vital too. She used to be a cardiologist, so this is reassuring. But when I have tried to see other doctors, it goes differently. Most of the time they see I have ADHD, a long history of depression, and hypermobile joints, and say that explains everything. I can't count how many times I've been told "well, you have depression” when the labs, if they even agreed to run them, came back normal. My standard blood work sometimes comes back with anemia, but I take an iron supplement. No improvement had come of it. I’ve had my thyroid hormone levels tested over and over, but never the antibodies. No imaging or referrals have happened, outside of one to a second rheumatologist. He ran no tests either; he just saw my joints are hypermobile and I was “sure taking a lot of mental health medications” (two at the time), and… that was that.

I had given up on actually even getting help until my SIL recommended a doctor she knew. For the first time in five years, when the standard blood work and TSH tests were normal, she told me we would keep looking. I actually cried with relief at that. It’s amazing to be believed after all this time.

Because of …. All of this, I'm trying to figure out how to either work for myself or find a work from home job that has flexible hours I can choose. I literally wouldn't be able to work a retail gig where I have to stand for eight hours, or even a 9-5 where I have to be there for those exact hours, because my body cannot do that right now. I want to get better but it's a long way off. First I need to know what's even wrong. I'm praying for a diagnosis soon. And treatment. At the least, management.

I have heard of EDS and I have been evaluated. I apparently don’t meet enough criteria, hence the diagnosis of JHS instead. It’s in the same family. I have also heard of POTS. I am pursuing testing. Same with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, MCAS, fibromyalgia… yeah. The thing is nothing outside of the standard blood count and thyroid hormone level test, no other lab tests have been done. There are so many things this could be that have never been checked. Lyme disease, for example, is extremely common where I live (it’s actually just extremely common worldwide) and matches much of my experience, but 1) in the USA the initial Lyme test relies on a strain of bacteria cultured in the 80s 2) there are over 100 strains of Lyme disease in the USA 3) in spite of decades of research there are doctors who don’t believe chronic Lyme exists 4) no doctor has ever checked and I only recently learned anything about it so I never asked. But… there are a lot of things to check that I’ve never had checked is my point. Fingers crossed someone can help me get there.

I do not have a partner who can try to support me through this, and my family already supports me however they can. My severance (which was low as I found out I was being paid much less than the rest of the team later) paid only my January rent.

Since my ability to work is severely limited right now, and I've been denied unemployment and food stamps, and I would need a diagnosis and to be awarded disability benefits in court (which can take YEARS that I don’t have), I have nothing in savings because of years of underpaying jobs the cost of living and being disabled and going through prior periods of unemployment due to this and other factors, I am left in a tough spot without help. Without this help, this gofundme... I have nothing.

So... here I am. A queer nonbinary disabled neurodivergent writer, trying my best, living with some undiagnosed illness that's severely impacted my ability to function, who got fired without real reasons (in America they can just do that to you without even telling you why), asking for your help to pay my February rent and January bills so I don’t repeat the trauma of being homeless. Or for you to reblog this.

Thank you for reading all of this.

It’s been on my chest for a long time. Even if it wasn’t for the gofundme, it feels good to talk about and be honest about my health. It reminds me you’re not supposed to feel like this all the time when I tell other people and they tell me I should get help and deserve answers. It’s reassuring to see competent doctors who finally believe me. I hope we figure it out.

no donation is too small— they add up. If just 100 people gave $35, the goal would be met. Sharing is also giving— it means someone who can help is more likely to see it.

You can also help via my venmo — secretladyspider

CashApp — secretladyspider

or find PayPal in my tip jar in my linktree

Goal is $3500 or over. Funds needed ASAP. If it goes over, that’ll help with February.

Thank you for anything and everything.

[julek]

for @asweetprologue and myself <3 | read on ao3

“Eurgh,” Jaskier says as he gracelessly flops down onto his bedroll. He wipes his nose. “This is impossible.”

It’s cold season for mere mortals and humble bards, it seems. Jaskier wipes his nose again, coughing into his elbow. Being out in the wilderness doesn’t help, either — the nights are mild but there’s a soft breeze that won’t let up, making Jaskier wake up with a sore, dry throat.

“I wonder…” he mumbles to himself, pushing forward with effort to kneel onto the bedroll. He lets his arms drop, release the tension they’d been holding all day just to keep him standing upright. He brings his fingertips to his thighs and closes his eyes. “Okay, big breath…”

He inhales slowly, pushing down the sudden urge to cough with a frown on his face. He bites his lip as he tries to hold the air in for a moment, counting to five in his head, then breathing out with a heavy exhale that’s immediately followed by a coughing fit.

When he’s regained composure, he tries again. Keeping his back straight as an arrow — or what he hopes resembles it at the moment — he breathes in again, but his left nostril is blocked, the right one whistling as the air comes in. As good as I’m going to get, he thinks, and holds his breath. His ears pop.

“Gods!” He groans, his head in his hands. He sniffs miserably. “What do you want from me? What sins am I paying for?”

“I could name a few,” he hears Geralt’s voice say from the foliage. He walks out of the trees with a smirk, holding a pheasant by the neck. “What are you doing?”

Jaskier looks up at him, droopy-eyed and forlorn. “I tried to meditate. You know, like you do. Deep breaths and all— it didn’t work.”

“Hmm.” Geralt puts the pheasant aside for a moment, moving into Jaskier’s space to kneel beside him. He brings his lips to Jaskier’s forehead, the touch grounding, and says, “You don’t have a fever.”

Jaskier sighs. “But I feel like shit.”

“Mm,” Geralt says emphatically, and presses a kiss to Jaskier’s cheek before getting up. “I’m sorry.”

Jaskier watches him retrieve his knife from his bag. “Can’t you just,” he whines, his fingers making a whoosh motion, “Axii me back into health, or something?”

Geralt snorts, his blade flat against the feathers as he removes the wings. Jaskier almost feels bad for the poor thing, but the rumble in his stomach holds its ground. “That’s not how it works.”

“Fine, keep your secrets.” Jaskier flops onto his back, looking at the twinkling stars. “Just so you know, if I had the ability to do…” He frowns. “...magic thingies, I’d use them to nurse my beloved back into health. Just saying.”

“Good to know.”

Jaskier clicks his tongue. “Since you won’t be displaying your undying love for me via some sort of, of… miracle potion, dear, wake me when dinner’s ready.”

The way Geralt stays silent and doesn’t strangle him is a small display of his undying love of its own. Curled up on his bedroll, Jaskier dozes to the sound of Geralt’s knife and the crackling of the fire.

When he wakes, it’s to Geralt’s foot poking him in the side. “Jask.”

“Mmmpf?” He manages before coughing back to life. “Ugh.”

“Dinner’s ready,” Geralt says, and waits for Jaskier to stop wheezing and attempting to spit his lung out to pass him a slightly-burnt leg.

“Thanks,” Jaskier croaks, and digs in.

They eat in comfortable silence, the distant sound of a stream trickling down and cicadas singing their evening song into the sky, the simmering of water on a pot over the fire. Putting his waterskin aside, Jaskier stretches, pleased.

“Well,” he says. “That was good. Now, I think some sleep is in order.”

Geralt smiles at him like he’s withholding a secret. It’s a dangerous smile for him to wear. “Oh, what is it?” Jaskier says.

“What do you mean?” Geralt asks, all innocent and wide-eyed.

“You’ve got that conspiratorial look about you. What is it?”

Geralt says nothing, instead fetches his bedroll and rolls it out next to Jaskier’s. Before Jaskier can lay down as he’s been waiting to and before he can drag the Witcher down with him and press into his warmth, Geralt puts up his hand.

“We can’t share,” he says.

Jaskier splutters. “And why not?” He says indignantly.

Geralt gestures vaguely at his face.

Jaskier sniffs, as if to prove his point. “I cannot believe,” he says, wiping his nose, “that Geralt of Rivia, slayer of beasts and hero of humanity, won’t share his bed with me because of a runny nose!”

Geralt makes a face. “You’ll cover me in goo.”

“You’ve been covered in much worse! You can’t even get sick, you—” His voice is comically nasal as he whispers, heartbroken, “I thought you loved me.”

Geralt sits closer. “And I do,” he says. “Which is why I’m displaying my— what was it?”

“Undying love for me,” Jaskier grumbles.

“Yes, that— by offering you the oldest cold-banishing ritual there is.”

Jaskier perks up. “You are? Why didn’t you lead with that? What is it?” He scrambles to get up, starts undoing his chemise. ”Do I have to be naked? Howl at the moon? D’you need some blood? I read that—”

“None of that, Jask,” Geralt says, touching his fingers to Jaskier’s arm, settling him. “Just— wait.”

Jaskier does, curiously watching Geralt wander around their camp. He retrieves a small linen bag from his pack, upending its contents into the pot and taking it out of the fire, placing it on the ground next to it. Then, he digs up an old shirt of his, black and faded, from his bag, and hands it to Jaskier with a warm smile.

“Come here,” he says softly, motioning for Jaskier to come kneel by the fire. He does, the dirt digging in his knees, and looks up at Geralt expectantly.

Geralt unfolds his shirt with care, and wraps it around the back of Jaskier’s neck. “Drape it over your head,” he instructs gently. “With your hands, like this. Like— like a tent.”

It makes Jaskier laugh, but he does it anyway. “Okay,” he says. “I feel like a child. What next?”

He can’t see Geralt with the dark cloth covering his head, but he hears him snort. “Now, put your face over the pot— here, I’ll help you.” Geralt places a hand on his back and helps him lean over the steaming pot, arranges his shirt so that it covers the pot as well, leaving Jaskier inside a warm, humid cocoon. “Now, breathe in.”

Jaskier takes a deep breath, the sweet scent of chamomile filling his senses. His face feels warm already, the steam curling his hair at the edges. Geralt’s hand is still on his back, soothing. “The steam will help clear your airway,” he says. “Just breathe in and out until the water starts to cool down.”

Jaskier nods, but realizes Geralt can’t see him. “Okay,” he says, breathing in again. It makes him sweat, the warm steam on his face, but with every breath he takes, he can feel it work its magic. There isn’t any, he knows — it’s no different from the potions Geralt brews, the salve he uses on his wounds — but there’s something mesmerizing about watching the cut-up stems and petals dancing on the water, unintelligible shapes revealing themselves at the bottom of Geralt’s beaten-up pot.

The water cools down after a while. When Jaskier emerges from his makeshift tent, Geralt’s watching him with a tender look in his eyes, a smile curling on his lips despite himself. “How do you feel?”

Jaskier sniffs, but this time, he takes in a clean breath. “Better,” he says, handing Geralt his shirt back. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” says Geralt, and this time, when he lays on his bedroll, he beckons Jaskier close. “Sleep?”

Jaskier smiles. The chamomile made him sleepy, and he feels warm as he lays next to Geralt, entwining their legs and brushing his nose against the cold spot where his jaw meets his neck.

“Thank you for saving me,” he murmurs against Geralt’s skin.

Geralt huffs a laugh, tightening his arms around the bard. “‘S hardly a cure.”

Jaskier looks at him. Geralt’s profile is illuminated by the dying firelight, the flames casting shadows on his face. Still, his golden gaze gleams as their eyes meet.

“How’d you come up with it?” Jaskier asks quietly. “I’ve never heard of it before.”

Geralt doesn’t answer for a while, his fingers tracing lines over Jaskier’s chemise. Jaskier brushes a wayward strand of white hair from Geralt’s face. He smiles.

“My mother used to do it for me.”

Jaskier hums at the quiet admission, listening to the slow beating of Geralt’s heart. He smiles faintly, and Jaskier knows he’s not really there right now.

“There wasn’t money for healers, back then.” Geralt swallows. “But there was always chamomile.”

Jaskier squeezes his hand.

“I never liked it, in truth,” Geralt admits, quietly. “The steam was always too hot on my face. But she would… she’d sit next to me. Hold the cloth over my face.”

Jaskier thinks of Geralt’s hand at his back.

“We’d do it together.”

Breathing out, like he can finally feel the air filling his lungs, Geralt looks into Jaskier’s eyes. They’re softer, somehow, honey-gold around a pool of black. Jaskier brushes his fingers against Geralt’s cheek, leans in for a tender kiss to his jaw, missing his lips.

Geralt laughs, low and beautiful. “I can’t get sick now, you know.”

Jaskier smiles. “I know.”

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Afraid to Love Again

Lady Tamayo x They/Them Reader

A/N: Heyooo. Tamayo is great, but I kind of struggle writing her. I tried anyway though because I love this demon doctor lady. Be prepared for sickness, death and a dash of angst. There is a happy ending though (my delicate heart wouldn’t be able to take it if there wasn’t)!  Also, it’s kinda a reincarnation/ soulmate kind of deal but I didn’t really develop that angle too much. And I can’t remember how much of Tamayo’s backstory was discussed in the manga vs the anime so just a heads up on that. It’s not super spoilery or anything (I think you could guess how that went) but just in case I thought I’d let y’all know. Hope you enjoy! Word Count: 6,939

The village had fallen on hard times. Work was scarce, poverty and disease was rampant. Over the past several months, (Y/n) had seen many family, friends and neighbors fall ill and never rise again. Those who had the strength to leave did, and many offered passage to (Y/n) as well. Though they were thankful for the offers of sanctuary, (Y/n) remained in their family home. They converted it into a makeshift hospital and began caring for the people who no longer could take care of themselves.

There were no doctors in their little village. The nearest, (Y/n) heard was days away. They couldn’t risk leaving all of these sick souls without someone to look after them, they would surely be dead before they could get back. If these people, their people, were going to die either way, they wanted to be there to make the process as easy as possible.

(Y/n) had seen more death and sickness than most. They had almost forgotten what it was like to truly live.

“(Y/n)-san?”

(Y/n) paused their movements wiping sweat from an old woman’s body, and turned to the cot behind them.

“Yes, Ichiro?” (Y/n) smiled kindly, though their eyes reflected just how tired they were.

“I don’t feel so good.” The young child coughed harshly.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let me get you some water.”

(Y/n) quickly finished bathing the old woman left behind by her family and tucked her in. (Y/n) suspected she’d be dead before the next morning. The rattling, gurgling breaths were just about the only sign that she wasn’t already gone.

(Y/n) put the rag in a basket to be washed for later, then they retrieved some water for the sick boy. They made their way through the sea of moaning people waiting for death, checking in with the more lucid villagers as they went.

(Y/n) was caring for thirty-seven people in their ancestral home and they did so alone. Any healthy people that remained in the village avoided the plagued building at all costs. It was hard work, keeping all of these people as comfortable as they could. But compared to the seventy people they had started with during those first weeks of winter, it was much more manageable.

“Here you go, drink as much as you can.” (Y/n) spoke softly, helping the boy sit up to receive it.

He took a few sips before spluttering, excess water slipped down his chin. He sniffed and held his throat, curling back into himself.

(Y/n) skimmed their hand over Ichiro’s burning forehead and watched him struggle forlornly.

How much longer would they all have to live in this hell?

(Y/n)’s question, however rhetoric, was answered the next night.

(Y/n) groaned between blinks of sleep. They had fallen asleep while standing, again. The noise that so rudely awakened them sounded like someone was rattling the door of the main entrance.

Who could it be at this hour? Weary travelers? Surely they had a fair choice in vacated homes already. No matter, (Y/n) figured once they caught the full blast of the smell of death permeating the air they would retreat quickly enough.

They approached the door sliding it open with little preamble. Even if the smell wasn’t enough to deter the unwanted guests, surely the look of utter despair (Y/n) wore would scare them off.

“I’m afraid if you came searching for lodging, I cannot take you.” (Y/n) spoke, barely perceiving the two people before them. “There are, however, many empty homes you have passed by that you are more than welcome to help yourselves too. I would recommend to be on your way quickly, sickness is rampant here.”

“That is why I’ve come.”

(Y/n) allowed themself a puzzled face, finally looking at the woman and her stern looking companion more carefully, taking in the delicate beauty of the stranger before them.

“I’m a doctor.”

(Y/n) suddenly felt more awake, staring at the woman with unrestrained hope and awe.

“Really?” They whispered, as if afraid this was all just a dream or a sleep deprived hallucination.

“Are you doubting her?” The young man spoke up sharply.

“Yushirou.” The woman warned, leveling a look at her companion that immediately shut him back up. The woman turned back to (Y/n). The soft, empathetic look in her eyes made (Y/n) feel weak. The softness of her voice as she addressed (Y/n) again made them feel fragile, all the while they shook like a leaf.

“Allow me to evaluate your sick. I’ll do everything I can.”

“Please,” (Y/n) nodded, making room for the pair to enter their home turned sick ward, “even in my wildest dreams I never thought anyone would actually come for us. I’ve tried so hard to save these people, but I am no doctor.”

The woman came forward, gingerly taking (Y/n)’s shaking hands in her own. (Y/n) noted how cold they were but still held on to the offered hands like a lifeline.

“You’ve done well with what you have, your kindness is immeasurable. Sleep now, and leave the rest to us.”

“Who are you?” (Y/n) asked, suddenly feeling as if they were about to collapse. Just hearing those words was like a weight was dropped from their aching shoulders. The woman caught them before they could fall, the young man, Yushirou, let out a strangled noise of displeasure but stayed back.

“You may call me Tamayo.”

***

When (Y/n) awoke, it was still dark. They assumed they must have only slept a few hours. At least, they thought so until they noticed a crack of sunlight shining between the curtains.

(Y/n) held their head in their hands and grimaced. They couldn’t even remember the last time they had slept in their own bed before now. They didn’t even remember how they got there. They sighed. It didn’t matter, they needed to get up and see how everyone was doing. They had already been negligent long enough.

(Y/n) noticed as they walked through the halls that all the curtains were drawn. They found it odd. The curtains were always kept open regularly, (Y/n) couldn’t be bothered to deal with such minor details in the grand scheme of things and they wouldn’t start now. They left the curtains closed and continued on their way.

“What are you doing up already?”

(Y/n) turned, shocked at the clear and present voice. It had been a long time since they heard someone who sounded so strong and healthy. They turned and saw a grumpy boy staring sternly at them.

“Who are you?” (Y/n) asked, holding on to the wall as a dizzy spell passed through them.

“Tsk, get back to bed. You clearly aren’t well.” The boy said.

“Yushirou? Did you find any— oh, awake already? You should rest more.” (Y/n) turned back down the opposite side of the hall and saw the woman who had been in their restless dreams the night before.

“You’re... You’re real?” (Y/n) asked, mostly to themself, peering at the woman with blurred vision.

“Yes,” Tamayo smiled sadly approaching (Y/n), “you don’t need to worry anymore. Yushirou and I are taking care of things. Please, rest.”

“No, wait. I want to help. Please, teach me everything you know.” (Y/n) pleaded, sliding to their knees as they gave out.

“Like you could help anyone like this. You were already way past your limits before. Stay out of Lady Tamayo’s way.” Yushirou stated harshly.

“No need to speak in such a cold manner, Yushirou.” Tamayo scolded lightly before coming to kneel at (Y/n)’s side, rubbing their back. “How about this, you rest until you are back to full health, then you may observe my work. Is this acceptable?”

(Y/n) frowned, but nodded in agreement. “Yes, thank you.”

“Of course. Yushirou, help our host back to their room please.”

Yushirou readily complied, easily picking (Y/n) up and retiring them to their room.

“And stay there this time.” He grumbled.

(Y/n) fell back asleep almost immediately and when they awoke once more, another day had come and gone. They felt a lot better, just hungry. So they got up and made their way back down the hall to see what was left of the foraging they had done a couple days prior. Hopefully, Tamayo and Yushirou were well versed in the plant life of the area and got some more.

They stopped at the sick ward first to see how things were going. Yushirou wasn’t around, but (Y/n) saw Tamayo whispering to a sick man. Whatever she had asked him, he shook his head looking a tad uncomfortable. (Y/n) moved closer and Tamayo turned, like she could sense their presence and offered a tight smile.

“You look much better. How are you feeling?” She asked.

“As good as I can be. How have things been going here?”

“I apologize, we lost three while you slept.” Tamayo informed solemnly.

“You don’t need to apologize. It means the world to us that you care to try at all.” (Y/n) replied, sincerely. “I’m sure you’ve noticed we don’t have very much in value. Not many people would work like this for no incentive.”

“You must be one of them.” Tamayo’s eyes softened, “you could have left, but you stayed with them. You have a kind heart.”

“...Thank you.” (Y/n) rubbed the back of their neck and looked away, feeling heat gather around their cheeks.

“I just realized I don’t know your name.” Tamayo said. “How rude of me to not ask sooner.”

“It’s alright. I haven’t exactly been conscious most of the time you’ve been here.” (Y/n) let out a dry laugh, “I’m (Y/n).”

“Just (Y/n)?” Tamayo blinked.

“If I can call you Tamayo, please call me (Y/n).”

“Very well, (Y/n).” Tamayo smiled. “I have a few more people to visit with at the moment. Would you care to observe?”

“Yes, I—“ (Y/n) stomach growled before they could finish speaking, they held onto their gut, abashed.

“Oh, you haven’t eaten? You should have told me, we must keep you healthy. Come,” Tamayo guided (Y/n) to their own kitchen where Yushirou was watching over a boiling pot.

“Yushirou, when the broth is done give (Y/n) a bowl please.” Tamayo asked.

“I just finished it Tamayo-sama. I’ll get on it right now.”

(Y/n) slurped down the broth with vigor and thanked Yushirou profusely, making him blush and turn away. They fed the rest to the sick. (Y/n) had asked Tamayo and Yushirou why they hadn’t taken any for themselves to which Tamayo replied that they had already eaten not long before (Y/n) had woken up.

After a long day of absorbing any teachings Tamayo had to share, (Y/n) was sent back to bed for the night much to their dismay.

“But, I slept just recently! I can still help!” (Y/n) frowned as Tamayo ushered them back to their room.

“I don’t know if you remember this, but humans are supposed to go to sleep every night. Yushirou and I have everything under control.” Tamayo assured.

“You guys need to sleep sometime too you know.” (Y/n) retorted.

“Don’t worry, we rest in turns.” Tamayo spoke. (Y/n) couldn’t explain why, but they felt as if Tamayo was being a bit deceitful with her words. However, they let her be for now and went back to bed without anymore fuss.

When (Y/n) woke up the next morning, they were surprised to see that some of the people looked much better already. Of course they were still quite ill, but (Y/n) felt hopeful for them. Unfortunately, the man, Jiro, that (Y/n) had seen Tamayo talking to the day before had died sometime in the night. A few others seemed to be not far behind him in that aspect. Still, (Y/n) worked hard and learned everything they could about the medicines Tamayo crafted and how to distribute them.

“Tamayo?” (Y/n) asked one night before being sent back to bed by the motherly woman.

“Yes, (Y/n)?”

“I was just wondering... what made you come through here? Our village hasn’t had outsiders since last spring, if even then.”

“I was simply looking for somewhere quiet to practice my craft. We were passing through when we realized this village was a little, too quite.”

“Mm, yeah... well, you’re welcome to stay. You can even live here forever if you want, I don’t mind.”

“That’s a rather, bold, offer.” Tamayo replied after a short pause. It was then that (Y/n) realized how that may have sounded and got embarrassed.

“I mean, because— sorry if that was weird. I just, it’s nice having you and Yushirou-san around. I can tell your both good people, you know? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!”

“You didn’t,” Tamayo had a far away look in her eye, but she still reached out to pat (Y/n)’s arm in a gesture of kindness, “I appreciate the sentiment, but it will be best for all of we take our leave once we are done here.”

“I see,” (Y/n) tried to keep the disappointment out of their voice, “we’ll just have to make the most out of the time we do have.”

“I suppose. If that is what you wish.”

Over the next several days (Y/n) noticed several odd little behaviors and happenings in their home. They went out one morning to gather certain plants and herbs for Tamayo and when the came back, they noticed a piece of paper with a strange symbol drawn on it that they had never seen before. They questioned Yushirou about it since he was the first one they saw upon returning.

Yushirou scoffed, saying it was a healing symbol and told (Y/n) under no uncertain terms that they shouldn’t look at it, much less even think about touching it. (Y/n) promised him they wouldn’t and backed away into the kitchen with their basket of herbs and a bead of nervous sweat running down their chin.

They also noticed how neither Tamayo or Yushirou appeared to ever eat or sleep when they were around. Even when (Y/n) made something as light as tea, they were refused by both travelers.

Another oddity was that Yushirou always yelled at (Y/n) for peeking through curtains to see if the sun was shining. For some reason, he and Lady Tamayo did not seem to be fond of the sun. Perhaps they were just light sensitive or burned easily. They both seemed to be very fair skinned. (Y/n) was often sent off alone on errands during the day as well. They didn’t complain though, they were happy to help in anyway they could, even if the doctor and her assistant were a bit odd.

Stranger yet was how Tamayo would speak so softly to the deathly ill who showed no signs of recovery. The soft lilt of Tamayo’s voice was not what (Y/n) found strange, they were quite enamored with its dreamlike quality. It was the soft urgency in which she spoke so quietly that always left (Y/n) curious. They only witnessed such events a few times, but they always had ended with the recipient of Tamayo’s whispered words dead mere hours later.

(Y/n) didn’t fault Tamayo for such coincidences. The good doctor probably knew who would die the second she entered the room that first night. (Y/n) figured she was just giving them some form of solace in their final hours to help them find peace.

It was one night where (Y/n) had woken up with a painful thirst for water when things became... complicated.

“We need to think about leaving soon, Tamayo-sama.” (Y/n) heard Yushirou speak as they neared the kitchen. “You have already gone past your limit of resistance by a few days.”

“I’ll be fine, Yushirou. Soon there will be a good handful of people who will have their strength back. (Y/n) still has much I can teach them... we mustn’t leave just yet.”

“The blood here is diseased and of poor quality, even if you could get some without anyone noticing, it would not be filling enough to do much good. Please my lady, let’s keep moving to the next city like we planned.” Yushirou stressed.

“I can’t Yushirou, not when these people need help that only I can adequately provide. I can go a little longer...”

(Y/n) stood still in the hall as they listened in. Tamayo needed blood? For what, a transfusion? They took a deep breath and entered the room.

“If you need blood—“

The air was suddenly knocked out of their lungs as Yushirou came forward with inhumane speed and knocked (Y/n) hard into the back wall.

“Spying? Why couldn’t you just keep your nose away from where it doesn’t belong!” Yushirou hissed, tightening his hold.

“Yushirou!” Tamayo warned, coming up behind him, willing him to loosen his grip, “don’t hurt them.”

Yushirou clicked his tongue in agitation and allowed (Y/n) to slide to the ground in a fit of gasps and coughs.

Tamayo knelt beside them and checked them over with a worried frown.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). You aren’t hurt are you?”

(Y/n) took a moment to catch their breath before answering, “I, I don’t think so.” They coughed again, “Damn Yushirou, you are a lot tougher than you look!”

Yushirou growled, but upon seeing the stern look Tamayo leveled at him he backed off and looked away, almost sheepish. He looked more like a scolded guard dog than anything else.

Tamayo turned back to (Y/n) looking forlorn, “How much did you hear?”

“You need blood or you’ll have to leave.” (Y/n) answered honestly, “If you need blood, you can have some of mine... I don’t know if it’s the right type, but if it’s what you need, I’ll be more than happy to give it to you.”

Tamayo shook her head. “(Y/n), I don’t think you understand what you are offering.”

“It’s my blood, I’ll offer it to whomever I please,” (Y/n) staggered back to their feet, “and I want to give it to you. You don’t even need to tell me what for.”

Tamayo scanned (Y/n)’s face before closing her eyes and turning away. She walked towards a nearby window and pulled open the curtains, allowing the full moonlight to glide over her skin and flowery kimono. (Y/n) swallowed thickly, clearing their throat they turned to look out the window as well. The young doctor was bewitchingly beautiful and (Y/n) could not risk missing whatever Tamayo had to say.

“Before you commit yourself to this decision, you must first understand what I am.”

“Tamayo-sama!” Yushirou called out only for Tamayo to raise her hand to call for his silence.

“...What you are?” (Y/n) cocked their head to the side, confused. “You look like a normal person to me.”

“That’s what makes a lot of my kind so dangerous.” Tamayo sighed, her eyes still trained on the moon, “Monsters in human skin. Although there are many who wear their sin in grotesque and prideful ways.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but it’s not like all humans are great people either. Like how Ichiro’s parents left him here after he got sick and still haven’t wrote back like they promised. Even if you are different from humans as you are claiming, I can’t say that your any worse than the people I know. In fact, I’d say you’re better than a lot of the people I know.” (Y/n) tried to explain.

“I’ve done more evil and unforgivable deeds in my time on this earth than I could ever atone for. Even as I work to do better I know I can’t take back all the harm I’ve caused.” Tamayo shook her head and turned to (Y/n), cupping their cheek with a chilled hand, “I’ve aided in more atrocities than you have years on this planet. Do not let what you’ve seen of me in these short weeks fool you.”

“Okay, so you’re committed to believing your evil and irredeemable, is that right?” (Y/n) grasped the hand at their cheek, holding it in their own, “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to believe that. I don’t know what you’ve done, but you’re obviously torn up about it. I can’t say someone who was pure evil would think twice about that.”

Tamayo pulled her hand away, cradling it close to her chest and turned back to the window with a slight tremble before whispering, “I’m a demon, (Y/n). I’ve turned Yushirou as well. We get by on blood these days but before then, I have killed and devoured many humans in five hundred years. Tell me now you don’t find me repulsive.”

“I don’t!” (Y/n) spoke immediately and resolutely, surprising the demon doctor and Yushirou to an extent with their resolve. “I don’t know who you were or what you were going through back then, but the Tamayo I know is kind enough to stop in some nowhere village to take care of sick people she doesn't even know while expecting nothing in return. I can’t say my word means very much in the grand scheme of things, but I don’t think you’re a monster. Monsters don’t mourn over their victims. I think you’re a good person Tamayo, worthy of my blood if you’ll just let me give it to you.”

The determined look on (Y/n)’s face made Tamayo feel as if she’d seen a specter from her past. She felt tempted to reach out again but held back, afraid of what, she wouldn’t allow herself to dwell. (Y/n) took her silence as a hesitation and insisted once more, bearing their arm up to the crook of their elbow.

“Take what you two need. Please don’t make me try to do it myself.”

Tamayo closed the distance between them quickly and held (Y/n)’s arms as if she was frightened of them doing something dangerous to themself.

“Yushirou, please get the phlebotomy kit from the travel bag.” Tamayo asked softly.

Yushirou nodded. Though he was not particularly fond of how close his master was to the human, he was glad she would finally be getting some sustenance.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” (Y/n) tried to joke to lighten the mood.

“You can revoke your offer whenever you wish. If you want us to leave you may ask us to do so without fear. I promise you.” Tamayo said, nothing but sincerity in her tone.

“I’ll keep it in mind, but I’ll do no such thing. Now, I hope you don’t think it rude of me for drinking some water myself first before I get you your... beverage. It was the whole reason I was walking through in the first place.” (Y/n) said as they walked across the kitchen and fetched some water.

Tamayo’s lips curled ever so slightly into a wisp of a smile aimed at (Y/n)’s back as they drank.

***

Now that (Y/n) knew they were sheltering a couple of demons, the strange behaviors they had noted prior made more sense and they took them in stride. They loved teasing Tamayo and Yushirou about the quality of their blood. Often making Tamayo flush faintly or earn a quick jab to the chest from Yushirou that was probably harder than he should be hitting a fragile human.

They kept the knowledge of their species to themself, not wanting to stress the sick or endanger Tamayo in some way. They had since learned that the strange papers that were littered around their house were actually some kind of warding seal that Yushirou could produce to keep their presence hidden to outsiders. If all that Tamayo had told (Y/n) about the realness of demons held true, they were surprised that they hadn’t encountered them sooner. Perhaps the constant scent of death and decay had kept them at bay, figuring there was no fresh flesh to tear into.

However, that was all changing now. Of the twenty-six remaining villagers, twenty-five were making marked improvements in their health and many could even walk about the the house without being too fatigued. (Y/n) had smiled so brightly when they saw Ichiro slide out of bed one morning that they had brought a hand to their mouth in delighted shock. They couldn’t remember the last time they had smiled so earnestly. Tamayo had surprised them, taking their hand away from their mouth.

“Let your joy shine through. The light you have to share could lift anyone’s spirits. I know it has lifted mine, so don’t hide please.” Tamayo said kindly.

“Right!” (Y/n) laughed sheepishly as heat crawled up their neck. They were sure Tamayo could hear the blood rushing through their system but thankfully she was polite enough not to comment on it.

“(Y/n)-san, can you take us outside?” One of the other young children asked.

“Mhm, only for a little bit though. Don’t want to over do it now, do we?”

“Tamayo-san, do you want to come?” Ichiro asked hopefully.

“Tamayo-san is very busy. But I’m sure she’ll be happy to read you a story later. Won’t that be nice?” (Y/n) smiled, saving Tamayo from having to come up with an excuse to avoid the brightness of the spring sun.

A small group gathered and slowly made their way outside, blinking hard against the bright sun stinging their eyes. Still, they felt overjoyed. Many never thought they’d make it through the winter so they took in the scenery before them with a range of emotions.

When they returned, (Y/n) helped everyone get settled again. As they did, they noticed Tamayo speaking quietly to the young woman in the corner cot. She had been fighting against the illness for a particularly long time and had been getting worse as of late. Keeping the interaction in mind, (Y/n) made their way to the kitchens to see if Yushirou needed any assistance with lunch. Now that everyone’s appetites were returning they had to produce a bit more than they had in the past.

When everyone was fed, (Y/n) had managed to find Tamayo alone. The doctor had found the old ceremonial tea room and enjoyed the space, so naturally (Y/n) had given her permission to do with it what she liked. (Y/n) knocked and announced themself, waiting for Tamayo to beckon them in before entering.

“(Y/n), does someone need something? Do you need something?” Tamayo asked, momentarily pausing in her herb crushing to look up at them.

“No, everything seems fine right now. Although Kotori does not appear to be doing well at all.” (Y/n) sighed, kneeling across from Tamayo. “...She’s going to die, isn’t she?”

“Yes.” Tamayo nodded solemnly. “I gave her medicine to dull her pain, but she’ll be dead before the next morning. There is nothing more I can do for her.”

“What do you tell them?” (Y/n) asked, “I mean, I’ve noticed how you talk to the dying ones before they pass. What do you say to someone who’s dying like that?”

“Many times they already know the end is near and have accepted it. Many are relieved to know the fighting and pain is almost over for them. What I offer them... is a second chance at life.”

(Y/n)’s eyes narrowed in concentration before shooting back open. “You offered to turn them into demons, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“It can be, only if you don’t have someone to look out for you and remind you who you are. I would be there for them as I was for Yushirou of course.” Tamayo assured, though she looked guilty. “You must think it cruel of me to offer this cursed existence.”

“Not at all. Many people fear death. I can especially understand it from a perspective of those who have yet to truly live. As long as they can remember their humanity, I don’t have a problem with it.” (Y/n) smiled, “I’m sure with you to guide them they would be just fine.”

Tamayo blushed and got back to work, grinding her herbs.

“Though I’m surprised, has no one taken up your offer since you got here?”

Tamayo shook her head, but a small smile pulled at her lips, “No. I’m content with their choices though. I think they were all very brave choosing to face the unknown.”

“Speaking of unknown,” (Y/n) mumbled between their fingers as they watched Tamayo carefully scoop her powder into a jar before moving on to the next herb. “Everyone will be more or less back to full health soon... are you still planning on leaving?”

“(Y/n), we’ve already discussed this,” Tamayo frowned, “I was never meant to stay here.”

“But you could.” (Y/n) said, an almost frantic waver in their voice, “you taught me a lot about medicine and how to be a physician, but you’ve quite literally have hundreds of years more experience than I do. Not to mention everyone here loves you, I love you—“ (Y/n) tried to shut themself up but it was too late. As made evident by the roundness of Tamayo’s eyes.

“Oh (Y/n), I’m sorry.” Tamayo said, the pestle held in between her fingers shook.

“Don’t be sorry, just, stay?” (Y/n) stuttered. “You can forget the last part if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“This just further proves that I mustn’t be here.” Tamayo put the pestle down and covered her eyes with her hands.

(Y/n)’s heart ached so much they felt compelled to rub the the spot in an attempt to soothe it. “Is the idea of me loving you really that awful?” They asked, a watery chuckle falling from their lips.

“(Y/n), it’s not that simple.” Tamayo tried to explain, but (Y/n) was already getting up and heading out of the room.

“It’s fine. I’ll try to stay out of your way. Stick around a bit longer for the sake of the village is all I ask.” (Y/n) didn’t wait for an answer. They went to their room and felt numb the rest of the day.

They were jostled out of their upset thoughts by the sound of pounding feet drawing closer and before they could react any further, Yushirou barged in practically foaming at the mouth. (Y/n) was not intimidated by the display however.

“Would it kill you to knock?”

“What have you done to upset Tamayo-sama?” He seethed, his voice a dangerous whisper.

“I’ve momentarily burdened her with my feelings. Don’t worry, once you get on the road again I’m sure she’ll feel much better. And you’ll have her all to yourself again, you must be thrilled.” (Y/n) bitterly informed.

“Don’t speak as if this is no large matter, you’ve left Tamayo-sama very distraught! What did you do? Why was she crying?”

“Crying?” (Y/n) asked, the information chilled them like a sudden torrential rainfall.

“Yes! Now what did you say to her you mongrel? Spit it out!” Yushirou growled, grabbing at the neck of (Y/n)’s clothing to shake them around a bit.

“I kinda... told her I loved her?”

“You what?!” Yushirou bellowed with rage and envy befitting a rival.

“I’m pretty sure you heard me the first time.” (Y/n) still had the gall to tease the demon knowing full well he could think of ten different ways to kill them with one hand tied behind his back.

“You idiot! Don’t you know what she’s been through? And you just think you can say such things and be on your merry way? Honestly, a goddess like her should not have to shed tears for such insolence!”

“What are you talking about?” (Y/n) grunted. The hold Yushirou had them in was very uncomfortable.

“If I tell you, you must never bring this up to Tamayo-sama, and you will apologize right away for your unsavory actions. Do you understand?”

“...yes.” (Y/n) nodded tentatively. Yushirou let go of them and they rubbed at their tender flesh where he had dug in.

“Tamayo-sama was ill once as well,” Yushirou began, observing the books (Y/n) had strewn around the room with a bit of disdain for the mess, “when she was human, she was desperately searching for a cure that would save her from an agonizing death. Then, as fate would have it, one day she met a man who promised her a cure for her ailment. What that man did to her turned her into a demon. It was true that Tamayo-sama was freed from the pains of her illness, but at the cost of everything she held dear. For you see, the man had not explained what she would become and with no way to control herself, she had killed and devoured her husband and children.” Yushirou crossed his arms tightly, “Do you understand now? Can you imagine what that must have been like?”

“I had no idea.” (Y/n) looked down at their feet.

“Yeah, then you come in and— argh! What are you still hanging around for? Go apologize already! You’ve already waited the daylight away, get moving!”

“Okay, I’m going! I’m going!” (Y/n) batted the angry demon away and jogged down the hall. They checked every room until they made it to the sick bay.

They asked around and quickly learned that Tamayo had gone out for a moonlit walk. They thanked the patients and quickly made their way out the door, shutting it tightly behind them.

They looked out from the engawa, scanning the scenery they saw no sign of the demon doctor. Deciding the nearby forest was their best bet, they hopped off of the engawa, bare feet against the grass and dirt, and jogged into the woods.

“Tamayo?” (Y/n) called for her, searching around for any clues to her whereabouts.

They traveled deeper still, teasing the edge of the deep woods where not even the sun could shine through on the brightest of days, much less the soft reflection of the moon. They heard a rustle.

“Tamayo?”

(Y/n) felt the hairs on the neck and arms scrape to attention. Their heart was beating frantically as the noise drew closer. It couldn’t be Tamayo, she surely would have called out in return.

Then, (Y/n) screamed.

They couldn’t remember how they had ended up on the ground. They blinked sluggishly up at the moon only for it to be blocked moments later by a blurry figure. (Y/n) swore they saw swirls of colorful flowers dancing at the corners of their vision. (Y/n) winced and gurgled. Why did their chest hurt so bad, what was this pressure?

“(Y/n), please, tell me what to do. What do you want me to do?” A muffled voice cried, confusing (Y/n).

They tried to take in another breath but it just felt like they were drowning. The voice sounded farther away, but no less pleading, mixed with far away screams and angry yells. Neither of which sounded like they belonged to the figure before them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

‘For what?’ (Y/n) wondered, the pain had faded greatly. Whatever was happening, it was better than the pain. Perhaps they could go back to sleep now.

And so, they did.

***

When (Y/n) awoke, it was to the soft brushing of knuckles against their hair which was almost immediately drowned out by a ferocious hunger. They bent to snap at the fingers but something had kept them restrained. (Y/n) struggled and growled, the need to tear into flesh was, all too fittingly, consuming them.

“(Y/n), take a little at a time. Control yourself.” The voice beside them gently urged, presenting (Y/n) with a tube. They were highly uninterested at first until the further end of the tube was released from a pinched grip and allowed blood to flow down to their waiting mouth. It wasn’t fresh or hot, but it was better than nothing. After a few minutes of stopping and starting the thick slide of blood, the figure took the tube away all together, causing (Y/n) to growl and hiss with displeasure.

“You will need to learn to pace yourself, the sooner you do, the better.” The soft voice informed, not that (Y/n) really understood them.

(Y/n) wasn’t sure how long this had gone on, but they learned quickly not to bite the hand that feeds you, even if it was only aged blood on the menu.

Then slowly, they felt their brain working overtime. Apparently, there was a lot of information hiding under all of the bloodlust, and (Y/n) thought maybe, just maybe, there was a part of themself that detested those desires for human flesh and bone.

Then one night, it was like a fog had finally rolled out of (Y/n)’s mind and they struggled against their restraints for a whole other reason.

“How did I get here?” They yelled, breathing heavily though they had no real need to breathe at all anymore.

(Y/n) heard the soft patter of footsteps on the matted floor out in the hallway. They were honestly surprised they could hear such a slight noise to begin with.

The door slid open and Tamayo stood there, observing them nervously.

“Tamayo!” (Y/n) sighed in relief, “Where were you? All I remember is going out to look for you. How did I even—“

Tamayo was over in a flash, resting her forehead against (Y/n)’s with her hands cupping their cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed, “I didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t speak for yourself. I should have just tried to make your passing quick and comfortable, but I was selfish. I’m so sorry.”

(Y/n) winced, thinking back hurt, but with that last ‘sorry’, they were back in the moonlit woods, bleeding out with Tamayo above them and Yushirou dismantling the low level demon that had jumped them.

(Y/n) leaned their forehead up to meet Tamayo’s more firmly since their arms and legs were still tightly bound.

“You don’t need to apologize, but I forgive you.” They rasped, drawing more tears from the demon doctor.

“I couldn’t lose you. Not again.”

“What do you mean?” (Y/n) asked, puzzled.

“Do you believe in reincarnation, (Y/n)?”

“I think it’s a nice idea, to be reborn as something new.” (Y/n) shrugged as best as they could.

“When I first came to this village, something pulled me to this old house, and it wasn’t the smell of death and ruin. Something inside me told me this was where I needed to be,” Tamayo ran her thumbs along (Y/n)’s cheekbones, “it all led me to you and though you are unique from any other person I have met in all my years roaming this earth, I feel like I knew you life times ago.”

“I feel like I felt something similar.” (Y/n) whispered, “Something about your eyes just felt so familiar. Do you think...”

“Yes and no,” Tamayo smiled sadly, “I believe my husband had a hand in bringing you to me. You may have the same soul but you are still you’re own person with unique experiences. I like seeing little reminders of him in you, but I’m also growing very fond of who you are on your own.”

“Then, why didn’t you tell me before?” (Y/n) asked.

“Because I was afraid and I had every right to be. I almost lost you again.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Tamayo raised her head to brush a kiss over (Y/n)’s forehead, “Forgiven.”

“...Do you think you could maybe untie me now or...?” (Y/n) asked with a goofy smile on their face.

“Oh, yes, I should do that. So long as you promise to tell me if you ever feel like you’re losing yourself.”

“You have my word, my lady.” (Y/n) replied, leaving Tamayo a bit flustered.

“So, how is everyone?” (Y/n) asked with a stretch, sitting up from the bed.

“They all left for new opportunities in the southeast. I apologize, but Yushirou and I thought it best if they believed you had died. A bear mauling.” Tamayo’s nose crinkled very subtly, but (Y/n) easily saw her displeasure.

“Don’t worry, I understand.” (Y/n) said with a melancholic smile. They leaned over hesitantly and kissed the faint wrinkle of Tamayo’s nose away, making the doctor fall forward to bury her head in (Y/n)’s collarbone.

“I worry that you’re too understanding.” Tamayo commented shyly, earning a laugh from (Y/n) and after another moment of stillness, (Y/n) spoke up again.

“Where is Yushirou anyway?”

“I’m in the kitchen and I can hear ever word you say you blood sucker!” Yushirou yelled, making the doctor and the new demon jump at the volume. “You better get travel ready soon, because you gobbled up the last of our blood supply!”

“Sorry!” (Y/n) called awkwardly, snorting only after Yushirou replied with a handful of sounds that made no sense, but got his grumpiness across.

“Don’t feel too bad. It’s a process Yushirou has endured as well. He was no less needy and feral than you were when I changed him.” Tamayo said.

“Needy and feral,” (Y/n) groaned, “I wish you didn’t have to see me like that.” Tamayo chuckled lightly, raising her head from (Y/n)’s chest to look into their eyes making their breath hitch.

“That hasn’t harmed my image of you at all,” Tamayo kissed their cheek, “you are still the sweet,” a kiss to the other cheek, “selfless,” a kiss to the nose, “person you were before this.”

(Y/n) tentatively raised their hands to cup Tamayo’s cheeks, noting the pale blue hue of their previously clear nails as they did so.

“Forgive me if this comes off as needy, but could I kiss you?” They asked, barely above a whisper.

“Please.” Tamayo responded quickly, pulling in (Y/n) from the back of their neck.

Soft lips glided together, occasionally leaving their target to land sweet pecks elsewhere before diving back in. When they finally drew apart, resting their foreheads together, Tamayo smiled brightly. It was a feeling she hadn’t had since she was human all those years ago.

[doctorreids]

folklore - spencer reid x reader

CHAPTER FIVE - my tears ricochet 

previous chapter | next chapter 

word count: 1.9k

warnings: talk of addiction/grief/mental health/loss of a parent & a lot of angst

summary: reader and spencer remember the fight that broke them in half.

“even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?”

Y/N

It would be an understatement to say that she was having a bad week. 2 months after her father’s passing, the BAU was faced with a killer targeting fathers and daughters.

She promised them she was fine, and she tried to convince herself that she was fine too but she really wasn’t. She didn’t venture to the M.E’s office or the crime scenes, instead, she waited for families to arrive.

JJ was sitting beside her as mother’s, brother’s, and son’s filtered in and out of the small office in the station. She sat there and wrote down all they had to tell them, her grip on her pen made her hand cramp. Listening to mothers recall how close the fathers were with their daughters, how inseparable and connected they were, broke her.

Splashing cold water on her face in the bathroom, she looked in the mirror to find someone she didn’t recognise. Tear stains graced her skin, mascara lying underneath her eyes. She hadn’t truly processed how not-fine she was.

She told herself that she had mourned, the funeral had come and passed, the headstone had been placed and her childhood home packed up into millions of boxes. Just when she thought she was beginning to move forward with her life, grief came back again. That kind of grief that makes you numb, your senses dulled, and the world a lot more grey than it was that morning. Just when she thought she’d cried enough tears, there’s always more to be shed.

She wasn’t altogether too sure what she was crying for; her own father or for those children, knowing the last thing they saw and heard was their father crying out for them.

She kept looking at the girl she didn’t know. She looked so alone, so small. She’d lost weight, a little bit at least. She looked absolutely exhausted, lack of sleep apparent under her eyes. Her cheeks were hollowed out, she’d lost weight.

Every day she covered the pain she carried with a smile and her head held high. Some days the facade slipped. That was this day.

It was a constant battle, a thin line between sanity and losing it all. The tension between her and Spencer didn’t help.

They’d been arguing over small things. Things that you can’t really remember days later, but matter at the time. Somedays he looked at her like she would shatter into a million different pieces, other days it was completely blank.

The love she used to see had dimmed. Not gone, but the light she once saw was slowly losing its fire. The passion was no longer there too; he didn’t touch her as he used too. No squeezing her hand in the back of the jeep, no wrapping his arms around her while she made breakfast nor did he leave lingering kisses on her neck.

She had conditioned herself into numbness, blocking out any sense of feeling or emotion. The walls she had built around her were supposed to keep out any impending attacks, but there were cracks. Sometimes the walls would tumble down, sometimes they would hold steadfast and strong.

There was only so much she could take.

“we gather stones, never knowing what they’ll mean, some to throw, some to make a diamond ring.”

The stopping of the car woke her from her daydream. It was growing dark outside, a humid, clammy July night. Spencer didn’t speak a word to her as he closed the car door and walked towards his apartment building.

Steps behind him, she could see the tension in his shoulders.

He’d annoyed her.  He dismissed her theory about the unsub possibly being a son who felt overlooked by his father (she came to be right) with such animosity the whole team was left stumped by the coldness he’d regarded her with.

She tried to chalk it up to him having a bad day, giving him the benefit of the doubt, but then he treated similarly the next day and the day after that.

He was her home and she felt locked out in a thunderstorm, rain pouring down on her. She didn’t know what to do. So, she did the only thing she could think of.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She asked quietly as he put on a pot of tea.

He sighed in response.

“Spencer?” She moved towards him.

He exploded, “Just stop. Please, just fucking stop.”

“Spencer I-“

“What? Are you going to tell me ‘I told you so’ or tell me how much I messed up, huh? ‘Cause I already got that from Hotch, and I certainly don’t need it from you.”

“Excuse me? Why in the world would I ever do that? Is that what you think of me?”

Silence fell between them.

“Just drop it.” He looked completely dejected.

“You know what? I’m not going to just ‘drop it’. You’ve been acting like a complete stranger and I’m sick and tired of coming home to someone that won’t talk to me. I thought we could tell each other anything, Spence.”

“Well, you thought wrong.”

It was quiet, but she heard it.

“What?”

Silence.

“You’re kidding me, Spencer. I cannot believe you.” she scoffed.

“It’s not like you tell me anything nor do I think you care about what I have to tell you.”

She had, for so long, felt as though she was living in a glass house - watching everyone from behind a thin sheet of glass. Caged in and lonely, she had nowhere to go. He threw the stones that broke her defences, shattered them to tiny pieces.

His words sliced through her. She stood there for a moment, silent and dejected.

“I don’t tell you anything? I don’t care about you?” Her voice was quiet.

He didn’t reply.

“I have been trying to tell you for weeks now, how much I love you, how I will always be here for you,” She continued, “I’ve been trying to tell you to talk to me, yet you never seem to want to. I’ve tried to tell you that I needed you.”

“Needed?”

“What?”

“You used the past tense. You don’t anymore.” He said matter-of-factly.

She laughed sourly, “That's all you took from that?”

Once again, she was met with silence.

“Do you really have nothing to say to me? Nothing at all that could possibly explain to me what the hell is going on with you? Because for the life of me, Spencer, I cannot figure it out.”

“you turned into your worst fears and tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years.”

SPENCER

The morning of the case, he’d gotten a call to say that his mother’s health was deteriorating. She wasn’t taking her medication and was refusing help.

He hadn’t told anyone. Not even Hotch.

If there was anyone he wanted to tell it was Gideon. And Gideon was gone.

He knew that it was strange that for someone who could never stop talking at times, he couldn’t find the words to even begin to describe how he was feeling.

Alone. Scared. Angry. Suffocated. Numb. Overwhelmed.

Everything he knew was crumbling around him; his relationship with Y/N, his mother’s health, and himself. He was constantly feeling as though he hadn’t accomplished any of the things that he and others expected him to do.

He felt like a disappointment and it crushed him. He didn’t understand how he was surrounded by such loving, caring people. He couldn’t even reciprocate their love properly.

He thought about taking Dilaudid again. Not that he would ever tell anyone that.

Addiction followed him like a dark cloud. He’d been to support group meetings whenever he could but that didn’t stop the urge to want to disappear again, feel something for once. He just wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else. He constantly felt like he was falling and falling with no end in sight. Dilaudid gave him the release he couldn’t find in real life.

He’d feel the urge then he’d look up, he’d see her and that feeling disappeared.

So, he took his frustrations out on her.

It was wrong and he knew it but he felt like she didn’t notice him anymore. Like she didn’t see that he was drowning, that he was so far removed from everyone.

What he didn’t take into account was that she was too.

He didn’t have anything to say when she asked him to explain, he truly didn’t. Nothing he could’ve said could have justified or properly explained how he was feeling and how he was acting. Anything he could have said would have made her feel guilty like it was her fault. And it wasn’t. He knew that now as she stood before him, hot tears ran down her cheeks.

He realised he couldn’t blame her for anything. He couldn’t even blame himself.

He swallowed harshly, he could see in her eyes the pain his words caused. But he was engulfed in flames, a fire he couldn’t put out.

“Well?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Y/N.”

“God, I just want you to tell me what’s wrong.”

‘So much’, he thought, ‘and none of it’s your fault I promise, my love.’

“Spencer, I’m done fighting.”

He was losing her. His worst fear was coming true and he was frozen. Completely immobile. He didn’t know what to do. He’s panicking so he reaches for the only thing he can.

“Can we just talk about this some other time?”

She laughs. It’s bitter.

“Some other time? When will that be Spencer? Cause, frankly, I’m sick and tired of waiting.”

“Just some other time. I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Can’t deal with what?”

He loaded his gun and he fired.

“You.”

Now she was silent. The sound of both their hearts breaking filled the room. It killed him to push her away and it killed her to hear it from him.

The room grew cold. Both of them stood in their trenches, no man’s land in between them. He took the first step. She immediately retreated.

“Y/N I-“ He stopped as he met her eyes, emotionless and dead.

“Save it, Spencer,” she mumbled, tears rolled down her cheeks.

He wanted nothing more than to reach out and swipe them away, scoop her up in his arms and hold her tightly.  He spent every day fearing that he would lose her and here he was, it wasn’t like anything he’d seen in his nightmares - no crazed killer. Instead, he was the one that pushed her away. Realisation flooded his body as he saw her pull her arms around her body; she only did that when she was overwhelmed.

“Please, my love, I didn’t mean-“

“You’ve done enough.” The calmness in her voice sent a chill down his spine.

He closed his eyes as he heard the door slam. Then he let his guard down, floored by the sobs that racked his body.

He knew he had messed up but he didn’t know where else to go. He felt caged in, trapped in his own maze.

His vision of their future was destroyed the second his apartment door slammed. His plans to make sure there was a diamond ring on her finger by the end of the year were demolished, the visions of little Y/N’s and Spencer’s faded into nothingness.

He had ruined everything and he didn’t know how to fix it

------

taglist: @itsfangirlmendes​ @rexorangecouny​

[extremelyblackandwhite]

lover series - lover

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: hiya, hope you guys been enjoying the lover series because we reached the song i wanted played at my wedding, lover. if you guys don’t know the song please go listen to it, it’s absolutely stunning, it makes you wanna fall in love. hope you guys enjoy, lemme know what you think xx best wishes

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January. This is our place, we make the rules and there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear. Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years? Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home, you're my, my, my, my lover

Y/N absolutely loved weddings, she loved seeing the look of the groom whenever the bride walked down the aisle, all the beautiful flowers, the food, the atmosphere in itself was something she adored. However, most of her friends were either single or not ready to go the distance so she only got to go to family weddings that was until she met Sebastian. Most of Sebastian’s friends were married or to be married which gave her the excuse to go to the wedding and Sebastian the excuse to show off his girlfriend.

That was what they were doing today. They were getting ready to go to one of Sebastian’s old university flat mates. Sebastian, per usual, got ready the first while Y/N took her regular routine of laying down in bed until he pushed her out of it telling her they were late. Y/N adored sleeping and even with a wedding on the schedule, she would still do her best to sleep in and then would take longer. 

This was why he was now in his living room with his friend Chase who was driving them to the wedding, waiting for her to get ready. 

    - How come you still have your Christmas lights up? It’s January. - he pointed out the Christmas lights hanging by the bookshelf wall, still flickering in all its white and yellow light glory. 

    - Y/N likes to have them up. - Y/N had been the one to give up her flat to move in with him. Sebastian thought that after ten years of living in the same flat meant no new could come in, at least he did until she moved in. He remembered one of his friends saying that once your girlfriend moves in, your house becomes a home and that certainly was true about Y/N. She didn’t change anything about his flat, she liked his flat, however, he had to admit he couldn’t help but smile whenever he saw her things mixed with him. From her “Finishing the Hat” book sat next to all of his in the bookshelf, the vanilla candles she would leave around every room to how she would refuse to take the Christmas lights off and would be upset for a few days right after the Christmas tree was taken down. He couldn’t picture his flat without Y/N in it anymore. 

   - You got it bad, man. - Chase elbowed him playfully in the side. - At least your house smells good.

   - I’m 100% sure she has 20 candles hidden in this room. 

   - Wrong, I have 50. - Y/N came up from behind him, wrapping her arms around him. Sebastian turned around to stare at his girlfriend. She was a beautiful woman even when she woke up during her worse days but she looked straight out of a fashion magazine. She had her hair up with some daisies scattered around and was wearing a rose dress that perfectly flowed down her stunning figure. On her ears were the tiny pearl earrings Sebastian had given her for Christmas which she wore all the time. - I think we’re ready to go. 

The wedding wasn’t too far away, it was located on a small garden just outside of NY. They were one of the first ones to arrive which left Y/N with enough time to look around the gardens along with Sebastian.

   - Look a wild rose. - she pushed him by his wrist to a place where some wild roses had started to bloom. - I’ve never seen one without being in a florist.

  - Here. - he plucked it out from the bush, putting it along with the daisies she had along her hair. - Now you have a wild rose in your hair. 

  - We need to get ourselves a garden. - she cuddled against his side as they walked to where the ceremony was gonna play out. It was under a stone arch covered with green leaves and wild flowers. Sebastian was one of the best men while Y/N was merely a plus one. - Right, now you go up there and do your job of looking like the best best man ever created.

  - I’d rather have you with me. - he said as one of her hands fixed his suit and the other the flower on his pocket. - If I start looking bored please make something. 

  - Like what? - she giggled. One of his friends came to call him up to lead him to where the bridal party was waiting. Sebastian kissed Y/N goodbye, leaving her to pick a sit by the entrance. The music began and Y/N turned to see her boyfriend along with one of the bridesmaids walk in. Sebastian gave her a toothy smile as he took his place by the groom’s left. 

The music changed to the Canon in D, the bride at the end of the aisle to which Y/N’s attention was immediately redirected. On the other hand, Sebastian instead of looking at the bride who was walking down the aisle or to his friend who was finally getting married after 11 years of dating, was looking at Y/N. His eyes were almost glued on her, how her hair strands had started to fall from her updo, the flower radiance in the sun and how she always had that serene smile that made him feel like home. Her eyes found his as the bride reached her groom, the most enamoured look on their faces. 

The rest of the ceremony was just like all others with the same vows and the same words and in no time, Sebastian was walking back with the bridesmaid, immediately separating from her once he could to go meet up Y/N who was holding two champagne flutes, extending one to him once he got close.

  - A woman after my own heart. - he raised his flute to her, cheering, making her roll her eyes. Sebastian placed his arm around her waist, walking with her to reception. Reception was easily Sebastian’s favourite part with the free food, open bar and dancing til his feet feel of. He would even sometimes get Y/N, who wasn’t a big fan of dancing in front of everyone, to do some silly dances with him. However, it would always end up with him silly dancing with his friends trying to make her laugh. 

After a while of silly dancing, drinking and feeling like his feet were gonna kill him, he joined his girlfriend at the table who was snacking on some strawberry tarts. 

  - Hey. - he kissed her cheek. - Save some of those for me will you.

  - You cannot, Seb. - she pointed her fork at him. - Bucky regime. 

  - But just this one time. - Y/N called his workout and diet for the preparation of Bucky Barnes, Bucky regime. Whenever he tried to break away from it she would scream it out loud, or eat the donut in his hand. 

  - You already had a cheat day, Seb.

  - I guess I’ll just have to taste it from you. - he leaned to kiss her, tasting the sugary syrup that had remained on her lips. She chuckled, wrapping her arms around him. - You look so pretty, Y/N. 

  - Thank you, love. - she leaned against his shoulder, both of them watching the bride and groom dance to a slow dance. - You look very handsome too.

  - Let’s get married. - she tilted his head, wondering if the champagne had finally reached the decision part of his brain.

  - Shotgun? Vegas? - Y/N endulged him, thinking it was a joke, but it was everything but a joke. Sebastian took her hand in his, taking the silver band she had bought when they went to Greece. - Aluminium ring, it is. 

  - I’m serious. When I was up there by his side all I could think about is waiting for you at the aisle someday. I wanna marry you. I promise I’ll save you a seat at every table, I’ll pretend you’re sick whenever you don’t wanna go to your university reunions, save the best dirty jokes I know for you and to wake up looking at you every morning.

  - Seb ... - she wrapped her arms around him, trying not to start crying and take attention away from someone’s special day. - Of course I’ll marry you.

  - Watch the bouquet. - Y/N could only hear the bride scream it out before a bouquet of roses and wild lilies hit Sebastian in the head. She held in a laugh as he grabbed it up, waving it on the air. - Aw, watch out Sebastian, looks like you’re the next to get married.

  - You betcha.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand, I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover. My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue. All's well that ends well to end up with you, swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover. And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

[vicarfelix]

Honest Intentions

__

Vicar Max x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language. Smut.

A/N: GOD okay so I wrote this awhile ago and I cannot write smut to save my life. I suck so bad at it, I can’t ever seem to make it long enough, but this was so angsty good that I just couldn’t not post it.

Word Count: 2,155

“The question is, after all this, do you still trust me?”

__

If she had been in a cartoon, she was sure there would have been a gray, swirling cloud above her head to display her irritation. She couldn’t believe that he had lied to her. A lie. A betrayal of truth. A fib. A dishonest statement. And for what? Just to ensure his chances of her taking him to see some scholar that he didn’t even like? What was the point of that?

She never expected respect from her crew. She didn’t expect it from anybody. However, when she had earned the respect from someone, she expected full honesty in return. This was a total blow to her respect as a captain and trust as a girlfriend. She was unbelievably angry at him, confused even as of to why he wasn’t upfront about his desires. Truthfully, she was really hurt.

Max had lied in order to get her to take him to see Reginald. A former colleague of sorts of his that he needed to see to have his book translated from French. It wasn’t until they found Reginald that it became clear as of to how they even ended up there. Max claimed he couldn’t risk her not bringing him there to find him. He immediately sensed that she was upset. She had every right to be. The sickness in his stomach as a result of the guilt was a testament of that. She had convinced him to leave Reginald Chaney in one piece, refusing to let him lay a finger on him. They got what they needed out of him and left.

The silent trek back to the ship was seemingly everlasting. Her footsteps were heavy on the grounds of the Monarch wilderness as they returned back from Fallbrook. She needed some time to calm down and cool off before speaking to anyone. She was of no use to anybody being this upset. Last thing she wanted was to take her anger out of someone who didn’t deserve it. Max followed a bit further behind than usual, giving her as much space as possible without getting separated. No one said a word on the journey back to The Unreliable. Even Ellie didn’t even try to poke fun at the vicar who would be sleeping in his own quarters for now. It wasn't Max's reaction she was afraid of. It was the captain's.

They finally arrived at the ship long after nightfall, stars dotting the dark night sky. They would be spending the evening in route to Groundbreaker to get supplies and other materials in the morning. She entered the ship first, ADA greeting the returning space adventurers as always.

“Welcome back, Captain.”

She usually smiled in relief upon hearing her voice that signaled a safe return, but she was in no smiling mood. Everybody else had gone to their bunks for the night, which prompted Ellie to go as well. That left the captain and Max in the bay of the ship. The only sounds were the clanks and tinkers as she put away her belongings into the lockers. She couldn’t look at him. She was afraid that she just might lose it. He came up next to her, his voice low and quiet;

“Captain, I-”

“I don’t want to talk.”

He sighed. He wasn’t surprised at her response. He couldn’t figure out if she was speaking to him as his boss or his girlfriend...or both. She whisked away from the lockers and headed to the stairs leading up to her quarters. She just wanted to be alone for a little while and give this some serious thought. She planned on discussing everything with him in the morning. However she realized this was an impossible wish when he followed suit, desperate to get his message across to her;

“If nothing else, please know that I am sorry,” He pleaded, entering after his lover into her room; “I’m aware that I have put a lot of unnecessary stress on you today.”

She scoffed and shook her head incredulously. He didn’t seem to understand how the trust she had put in him had been seriously violated. That’s what made her more upset than anything. It was clear that he wasn’t leaving until this issue was resolved. So, she went off.

“You lied to me, Max. For personal gain,” she hissed; “I don’t like being lied to you.”

She was leaning against the frame of her bed, arms folded over her chest as Max was leaning against her desk. Her demeanor was tense and cold...not a pretty sight to see.

“I know. If it’s any consolation, I lied before I began to care for you...before I loved you. It wasn’t an attempt to break your faith in me.” He admitted.

A surge of energy went to her head, her cheeks heating with rage;

“That doesn’t make it any better. So, you didn’t lie to me as your lover? Fine. You still lied to me as your captain,” She snarled; “At the end of the day, Max, I am still your captain.”

He didn’t want to fight with her He didn’t want her to be angry at him. All he could do was continue to express his apology and hope she'd forgive him. He wasn’t lying when he said he cared about her. About how he loved her. The two of them had each said it once before, so she had to admit it made her heart beat a little faster hearing him say it again.

With this being said, he still had a rampant temper. Regardless of any situation, he didn’t like being talked to this way. He got defensive when others used an unpleasant tone with him. His pleading for forgiveness was beginning to mix with a sear of anger bubbling up in him.

“You are my captain, you will never witness me denying that. I don’t know what you wish for me to do other than tell you, honestly, that I’m sorry.” He replied, his voice getting rather scary; “But might I add that you weren’t so fucking honest at first either.”

All the blood in her body seemed to rush to her face and rapidly back down to her feet. She knew what he was talking about. The fact that the crew went months thinking she was actually Alex Hawthorne when she actually wasn’t. She hadn’t been upfront in the beginning and had lied about her identity. She would always feel a sense of culpability for that.

“I know that. I know that I didn’t tell anyone who I really was, but that was for the sake of my safety as well as everyone else’s. I lied because I had to,” She spat; “You lied for personal reasons. You lied to intentionally distress me and deceive me into doing something for you.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically and the veins in his arms were prevalent as he gripped the edge of the desk. He now felt like she was blowing this out of proportion.

“I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you. I would never do that,” He responded; “I lied because I didn’t think you’d take me all over Halcyon just to find some man that might have the answers I was looking for.”

She rubbed her temples with her fingers, feeling as if this conversation was going absolutely nowhere;

“That’s another thing,” She fired off; “What’s going to happen when we get to Scylla and the book gets translated? Will I no longer be of any use to you? Is this going to be over once you find what you're looking for?"

In an instant, his anger lifted and his heart seemed to stop at her words. She watched as a normal color returned to his face. His narrowed eyes and furrowed brows morphing into a softer, borderline concerned look. He stood from the desk and took the half step down from the desk to where she was standing. If there was one thing Vicar Max would never do, it would be that he would never lie about the way he felt about someone.

“Captain, darling, I wouldn’t ever lead you on that way. For any reason whatsoever.” He breathed out gently.

His sudden change in expression ultimately calmed her down as well. She sighed heavily as her judgement cleared. She knew why he really had lied. It wasn't to upset anyone. He had spent his whole life taking roads trying to find answers that ultimately led to a dead end. He was frustrated and disappointed. She could relate to that.

“I just want you to trust me. I want to trust you,” You admitted; “I would’ve taken you to him regardless of who he was. You didn’t have to lie.”

His hands cupped her face, she instinctively cocked her head to further rest her face in his hold.

“I trust you. I always have. I never intended for you to doubt how I feel, because I have been nothing but honest about it. I care about you and I love you.” He confessed; “The question is, after all this, do you still trust me?”

She did. 100% she trusted him. It would probably take a hell of a lot more than him lying about some sketchy prison dude to completely break her faith in him. However, she felt her devious side begin to bubble to the surface. She could totally use this situation to her advantage. Maybe she could get a little bit of a rise out of him in a positive way.

“I don’t know,” She said in an overly teasing tone; “I think a certain vicar is going to have to redeem himself somehow...”

His pupils dilated and his hands that had been by his sides were now slowly fumbling with the button and zipper on her pants.

“Is that so?” He purred in his captain’s ear; “I think I’ve got some ideas.”

In a matter of seconds, she was sprawled on the bed, pants discarded, and his kisses were hot on her neck. She moaned deliciously as his right middle and ring finger dragged across her heating sex, his left hand pinning her arms above her head

“Max...” She breathed out.

Oh, he loved when she said his name. It sent a fiery sensation all through his body. His strong, independent captain begging for him and only him. He was the only person who ever got to see her this way. She managed to break one of her hands free, reaching to unbuckle his own pants. However, he withdrew his hand and stopped her;

“This is all about you, Captain.” He growled.

His lips detached from her skin, he let go of her other arm as well and placed him face just in front of her. Her legs were draped over his shoulders as his tongue licked a heavy stripe and her desperate whimper filled the room. He sucked and kissed as one of her hands was steady on his head to prohibit him from going too far, while the other was pressed against the headboard behind her. It felt like electricity was crackling all through her body as he mercilessly pleasured her.

“Oh, fuck...you’ve got quite the mouth for a preacher,” She tried to laugh, but it came out as another moan.

Obviously this wasn't the first time she had ever been in this situation with him. But it still surprised her every time.

His chuckle vibrated against you, his voice muffled slightly;

“You better fucking believe it.”

He knew her backwards and forwards, which why he put his arm over her waist to keep her from squirming too much. He smirked as he felt her muscles contract against his hold. It was a damn hot sight to see. His face buried between her legs, his tongue and lips working wonders on the woman he adored so much. Normally, he’d hold off on letting her come undone. He’d slow his movements to tantalize her and make her beg. But she deserved what she wanted after today.

“Max, please...” She said feeling her legs begin to shake.

“I’ve got you, love.” He spoke.

Her head fell back onto the pillow as a flash of white covered her vision. Her legs tightened on his shoulders as she crashed over her high. He continued to suck her and work her through it. His name fell from her lips once more as she felt yourself settling back to normal. He grinned once her breathing attempted to slow, he returned to her side. She supposed that she owed him now, but that’d come later.

“Okay, yeah. I forgive you.” She huffed out once her heart slowed.

He laughed genuinely, falling onto the mattress and pulling her close. He was relieved that she was here with him now and that she hadn’t kicked him off her ship. He knew one thing for sure.

He would never lie to her again.

[thejollyroger-writer]

THE WASTELAND - Chapter One: THE HOSPITAL, Part 1

Some triggers: this story is rated TEEN, mostly for violence. It takes place during wartime, and some of the characters go through some violence and torture. If you need more information about this, please just message me!

SUMMARY:  In a world that has been saturated in war for as long as anyone can remember, Emma Swan has rebuilt her life as far away from the chaos as possible, opening her own maternity hospital after spending too many years in makeshift battlefield aid stations. But one night, a bloodied and battered soldier finds her hospital trying to get away from an enemy with a penchant for torture and a personal vendetta against him. With the help of Emma’s childhood friend Prince David and a motley collection of humans and magic-wielders, the quest to save Killian Jones’ life from the poison used by the enemy takes them to places even beyond the known world.

Header by the lovely @spartanguard​ -- check out her perfect (and bloody) art for this chpter here! 

Prologue on AO3 // Prologue on Tumblr 

Chapter One on AO3 

CHAPTER ONE: THE HOSPITAL, PART ONE 

In all meanings of the word, Emma Swan is tired. First and foremost, she's emotionally exhausted, hasn't had a night of sleep without nightmares for months, even before the war started. She's tired of seeing families torn apart, or children born without knowing if they have a father or not. That's almost as bad as knowing. Almost. 

Most of all, though, she's tired of war. That's why she's here in the first place, helping bring life into the world instead of seeing it slip from her grasp out on the battlefield, where she was trained to be. Sick of death, she says to herself for the hundredth time. 

She inserts her key into the lock, shrugging when she finds it already open. Maybe one of the other nurses beat her here, she thinks, but the thought is gone as soon as she pushes the door open. 

Blood. 

There is blood everywhere. 

Immediately, she goes on the defensive. This is what she trained for, yes, but it's not the life she leads anymore, hasn’t been for a while. (And a sight like this would never fail to catch someone off-guard, used to it or not.) She presses her thumb to the scanner on the lockbox next to the door, a worst-case-scenario precaution she hoped she never had to use, but when she feels the cool metal of the pistol in her fingers, the deafening pounding of her heart slows a tad, and a bit more when she turns back to the main room to find all the women still asleep in their beds. Whatever happened here, it wasn’t to one of her girls. 

“Emma, thank God.” The voice from behind her startles her even though it is one that she would recognize anywhere, but that doesn’t stop her from whipping around with the pistol held out in front of her, ready to strike. 

But, to her immense relief, it is exactly who she expects: Ruby, her head nurse and best friend. 

“Ruby, what happened here?” 

Running her fingers through her long, red-streaked hair, she begins to tell Emma as much as she knows. “I must have been asleep when he came in, though how he got through the door and past me is a mystery, and he couldn’t have been here long before the smell of his blood finally woke me up. No more than a few hours, if that. And all that I know is that he’s lost a lot of blood.” 

“Did you check on him at all? See what his wounds look like?” 

With her eyes turned to the ground, Ruby shakes her head, almost ashamed. “I knew — I didn’t trust myself, what with the blood shortage and all, but he’s—” When she does lift her eyes to meet those of her friend, they’re wide with something that Emma can only define as fear. “I don’t know what he is, Em. I’ve never smelled anything like him before.” 

“You did what you could, Ruby,” Emma assures her. “I’ll — let me go see what we’re dealing with.” 

But Ruby stops her, a perfectly-manicured hand wrapped around her bicep. “Be careful, Emma. He could be dangerous.”

As silently as she can, and with Ruby’s last words echoing through her mind, she follows the trail of blood, large drops that turn to larger puddles as she gets closer to the door to the offices, ending as a large wiped smudge on the linoleum on the other side of the door, presumably where he — whoever he is — finally lost his footing. 

But the streak leads right into her office, and she is slightly shocked to find the door closed. 

Not as shocked as she is when she opens the door, though; because there, on the floor of her office, crumpled in a seated position against the front of her desk, is a man — a soldier, she assumes, though he is in jeans and a faded grey t-shirt instead of a traditional uniform. A very, very wounded soldier, every inch of him covered in blood and mud, with the former even dripping from him in some places. Instinctively, she takes a quick inventory of his visible wounds: a gash on his forehead, a long slice along his cheek, lines down his bare arms. 

But the worst of it is his left arm, blunted halfway up his forearm and tied with a large, tight tourniquet, though not tight enough to completely stop the bleeding. Seeing the piles of it around the man's body, not to mention all he's lost on his way here, Emma questions for a moment how — if — he can even be alive, also questioning his age by his delicate features, by the dark hair that hangs down to his equally dark eyebrows. He can't be much older than she is, she thinks, hoping that he's more than just another loss of this terrible war.

And then he takes a long, hitching breath, letting out a low moan on the exhale. 

Good Lord. He's alive. 

Emma falls to her knees in front of him, not even caring about the bloodstains that ruin her pants the moment they touch the ground. 

He's alive. 

She reaches onto the shelf beside her, pulling one of the rags from it's pristine pile, using it to dab away some of the blood from his face. 

“You're okay,” she says softly, searching the cups on her desk for a cup not stained with leftover coffee, which she finds on the third try, closing her eyes to focus on filling the cup with water to dip the rag in, hoping the moisture will aid in clearing the crust from around his eyes. “You're going to be okay, do you hear me?” She has no idea where the words come from, but they seem to help, and after a few more groans, the man in front of her opens his eyes with a short yelp. 

Emma drops the rag, pressing her palms instead against his cheeks. In sharp contrast to his dirty skin, to his dark hair, dark clothes, his eyes are the brightest blue she has ever seen, and for a moment, staring into them pulls the breath from her lungs and makes it impossible for her to find it again for a drawn-out moment. 

“Hello,” she says finally, hoping that her smile hides the terror that suddenly fills her heart. She has no idea who this man is, what he is capable of, which side of this war he is on — or, perhaps most importantly, what brought him to her hospital, of all places. 

He has no answer for her, simply stares at her, bright eyes wide. Slowly, the smile fades from her face. 

“You're going to be okay. I don't know what brought you here, but I'm going to do everything I can to take care of you.” The source of the words is still a mystery, but as she says them, she realizes that every single one of them is true, no matter who he is. 

The corner of his lips ticks up into a momentary smile, though it quickly turns to a grimace when he realizes how much pain it causes him. He opens his mouth, Emma assumes to try to speak, but she stops him with a hand on his arm. 

“No, please, don’t. You’re— you lost a lot of blood, I don’t even know how you made it here alive, but I’m going to take care of you, okay?” 

Again, he tries to smile, and gets a little closer before the muscles in his face fight against the movement. So, instead of talking, he tries to move — slowly, with Emma’s eyes finding every movement of his muscles — his hand pointing first to the mug of water in Emma’s hand, then — slowly, carefully — to his mouth, though the fact that the very movement causes him pain is written plainly across his features.

“Shit, yeah, okay,” she mumbles, pushing herself up off the floor. “Let me — let me find you a clean cup.” 

If they weren’t in a time of war, she tells herself, her office would be more organized. Though whether that’s really true or not is something she may never know, since she has never known a world that is not suffering through war. She would like to believe that one day, maybe, the world can be bright and healthy and good, but for now, she’ll just live with her messy desk — especially in times like this, rare as they may be, when the mess actually helps her, God forbid. It took three tries to find the mug that she filled with water to wipe the man’s face, and it takes her another two to find one already filled with water, this time worrying more about gnats and dirt and floaters than leftover coffee stains, but as she holds the worn ceramic up to his lips and slowly dribbles some into his mouth, she has a feeling that finding a gnat would have made it very high on his list of problems. 

Slowly, slowly, he swallows, once, twice, his eyes tightly shut with all the pain he must be in, and then backs his head away from the mug, making some of the contents dribble down his chin and onto his dirty grey shirt. 

She cannot even begin to imagine the type of pain he must be in, between the gashes on his face, probably a broken rib or two (if not something more serious, like internal bleeding), not to mention his newly-blunted arm. But even the few drops of water must have felt like a godsend, and, with his head resting back against the front panel of her desk once more, he takes a slow, deep breath, not even seeming to mind his body’s reaction to it, and opens his eyes once more. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, his voice cracked and hoarse, though better than Emma anticipated given his state. 

Still: “Shh, shh, don’t talk,” she says as calmly as she can, running the wet rag along his jawline again. “You have so many injuries — though,” she tries her best to smile, managing to catch a flash of brightness in his already shining blue eyes, “I’m sure you already know that. I don’t know what brought you to my hospital, but I can assure you that I’m going to do everything I can to get you back on your feet, okay? My name is Emma, and I’m going to take care of you.” 

He nods, slowly blinking his eyes, and Emma even dares to think she sees hope in them, a light that stays on his face even as he slips out of consciousness once more. 

 With the help of Ruby, they carefully move him to the cot in her office, trying their best not to reopen any of the wounds that have managed to close, removing his worn grey tee-shirt to see what they have to work with. 

“Dear God.” 

Emma doesn’t even know what to say, but Ruby’s whispered curse almost covers it. 

It’s worse than she imagined. Much worse — and Ruby, not trained in field medicine like she is, has never seen anything like it (even during the time she spends in wolf form) and leaves the room with one of her hands covering her mouth. 

Emma doesn’t blame her. 

How he is still alive is a question that she seriously contemplates, carefully ghosting her fingers over the still-open wounds to make sure that it’s really real. She’s seen dark magic; she’s seen the damage that dark magic can inflict. But what she has never seen is dark magic that sticks around once the wielder is no longer inflicting, magic that shimmers and crackles like lightning across the skin. 

What she has never seen… until now. 

“What did they do to you?” she whispers, almost wishing she knew the answer, while at the same time thankful that she has never had to go through what this man has obviously been through. She dips her rag back into the new bucket of water, carefully dabbing the blood-covered skin of his chest, finding more small cuts and bruises with every new, clean inch, which she finds surprisingly easy to heal with her magic. 

When she makes it to his left pec, though — the spot immediately over his heart — she feels the breath escape from her lungs and finds herself unable to replace it. Not only is it worse than she imagined, but it’s unlike anything Emma has ever seen before. It shocks her. Literally, the energy from the leftover magic reacts to hers and physically shocks her fingers. There’s a gash, a literal gash across his heart that’s large enough she would be able to see into it if it were clean. 

What surprises her the most, though, is that it’s not bleeding. If it were bleeding, he would probably be dead, but this is somehow… 

Worse? 

It’s black. Shining, glimmering black, moving like the waves on the ocean. For a moment, Emma is entranced by the constant motion of it, and then it shocks her again, her magic crackling in response to it. She can’t imagine the type of pain he must be in, this dark magic gash so close to his heart. She can’t help herself and she stretches her fingers out to touch it, even through the crackling of her magic at the tips of her fingers, but when she comes in contact with it, it just feels like skin. As if there is nothing wrong with it at all. 

She finds herself thinking about his status, since he is not wearing the uniform of either side of the war — but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an allegiance, she tells herself, carefully wiping away the dirt around the bleeding gash on his shoulder, a wound that barely missed the edge of an intricate ship’s helm and compass tattoo that runs to the end of his newly-blunted arm. Somehow, the wound that brought her the most surprise upon finding him seems to be the one that has started to heal the nicest, among those that respond to her magic instead of ignoring it entirely. Even so, a field amputation is not an injury to take lightly, magic or no, and Emma makes a mental note to find some stitches and a new tourniquet, just in case.  

 Which isn’t going to be easy, with the enemy breathing down her neck. She doesn’t really even have enough morphine to treat him, since they’re mostly given pills to give to at the beginning of labor, plus a small and dwindling supply of IV drip in case the women lose consciousness. Shit. She hadn’t even thought about that. She’s going to have to make due with what she has left of that and her supply of sleeping pills until she can figure out how to get another order so soon without raising eyebrows. 

She’s going to have to contact David, though with the enemy lines shifting around her every day, whether it would even be feasible for him to come all the way out here is an entirely different problem. 

Morphine, tourniquets, stitching thread. 

She begins to make the list in her head, a sort of mantra as she continues to work her way across the cuts and gashes on his chest. She finds that many of them not only heal, but disappear without even a scar in a way that she has never seen before. She turns her attention to his face, specifically to the large cut that runs down his right cheek, but a low moan from the lips of the injured man stops her. 

“David.” 

“That’s—” she says out loud, realizing she is speaking to a room empty besides a man who needs to be unconscious, who she assumed was given his tightly-closed eyes. Impossible, she continues in her own head, going back to carefully wiping the blood and dirt from his impossibly-wounded chest. 

It can’t be the Prince, she tells herself, tossing her soiled rag onto the floor and finding a new one from the shelf behind her. David is a common enough name, he must be speaking of someone other than the Prince, someone other than the man who is the closest thing to family that she has ever known. He has to be. 

“David,” he groans again, this time followed by, “No, no, Liam, please,” and if she weren’t kneeling above him, didn’t already have her hands on his chest, he surely would have thrashed off the bed. In catching him, holding him down, her fingers are wound through a chain that holds a collection of rings, each one as beautiful and intricate as the last, obviously well taken care of, besides the same signs of hardship that cover the rest of this man’s body. For a moment, she finds herself really looking at him, at the ripples of muscle and dark hair that cover what she can see of his chest and stomach; at the collection of artistry she finds spread across his scarred skin; at his strong jawline and the long, dark eyelashes that rest against his cheeks — until he gasps, squeezing his eyes tight, and tries to thrash beneath her again.

With that, she reminds herself of her task at hand, that he is not here for her to marvel at (even being the most handsome man she has ever seen), and she stands once more, hoping that he doesn’t wound himself further in the minutes it will take her to gather more supplies from the stockroom. 

Ariel, one of her nurses, is in the basement, restocking the shelves when she makes her way down the steps. “Emma!” she says, somehow always chipper, even in the middle of an ever-present crisis. “How is our newest patient? Is he going to be okay?” 

All Emma can do is nod, finding the IV supplies she came down here for before adding a few coils of gauze to the pile in her arms. 

“He’ll — he’ll live, at least,” she mutters, but her mind is elsewhere, remembering the secret room that she built off the back of the basement, dreading the day she needed to use it — a day that, thankfully, had never come. 

Until now. 

“Well, that’s good at least. Ruby told me that he’s in pretty bad shape, but hopefully nothing that we can’t fix before we have to send him away—” 

Emma turns to her, her eyes suddenly snapping to attention. “Listen, you shouldn’t — you can’t mention him to anyone, or even around anyone. No one can know he’s here.” 

The smile fades from the redhead’s face. She simply nods. 

“Meanwhile,” Emma continues, turning back to the steel wall at the back of the hospital. “We have to move him down here, to the crisis room.” 

“Who’s looking for him?” 

Emma shakes her head. “I have no clue. But I do know that I’ve never seen dark magic like this, and that just makes me even more afraid. But until we figure it out, he’s not here, as far as anyone is aware.” 

Ariel nods again. 

“Would you be able to set up an IV for him? Make sure it’s clean enough for me to take care of him? I don’t want to move him again just yet, but I’m afraid this may be the only way to keep him safe.”

Emma pauses for a moment, wondering — wishing — there was another option besides the crisis room, hoping that maybe this is all a bad dream that she’ll wake up from any moment. But the blood she draws from inside her bottom lip tells another story, and she nods before turning away. 

“Emma,” Ariel calls, and Emma has a feeling that she may have missed the first time. “I, uh, need you to open the room.” 

Duh. 

“Of course,” she says, the ghost of a smile passing across her lips. She forgot the built-in safeties of the safe room: the fact that only she can open the door, the magic-plus-biometric locks the best she could find when she was adding the room. “Right.” 

 They move him later that day, once he comes back to consciousness, his body propped carefully between Emma and Ariel’s shoulders, walking half-on his own and half-aided by both Emma and Ariel’s magic. By the time they get him down the steps and onto the hospital bed, he’s only torn two of the stitches in his side, which were Emma’s last resort to stop some of the bleeding in the first place. 

Even with just the small amount of healing that Emma was able to do on her own, and the new morphine drip hooked up to his still-complete arm, he already seems to be in much better shape than before. 

“Thank you, Ariel,” she says, hoping that her tone of finality is enough to get her point across. Now that he’s conscious, she needs to talk to him, needs to figure out what brought him to her hospital — and she needs to do it alone. 

Ariel nods, either too exhausted to respond or picking up on Emma’s tone. “Let me know if I can help,” she says, leaving them behind without another word. 

When the door closes behind her, Emma turns to her patient, noticing the way his long eyelashes rest on his cheeks with his eyes closed. 

“Alright, listen,” she says, taking a seat in the chair set up next to the cot, and his eyes snap back open. “I need to — we need to talk about your situation here…” She wants to end the sentence with his name, hoping to make up for some of the bite behind her voice, but she realizes now that she’s never learned it. 

His face becomes an emotionless mask, his back even seeming to straighten a bit at the authority in her voice. So she tries to tone it down a little, offering a soft smile when he does dare to meet her eyes. 

“Can we start with your name?” she asks, trying to soften her voice. “Please?” Whether it works or not is unclear, but he seems to calm a bit either way. 

“Killian,” he says, his voice hoarse, and when he coughs to clear it, the pain on his face is obvious. “Killian Jones.” 

“Well, Killian Jones,” she says. “I’m Emma Swan.” 

He breathes out a small laugh, his hand squeezing into a fist on his ribs with the movement. 

“The morphine should kick in soon, and hopefully the pain will start to subside.” 

“Thank you, love,” he says, his voice stronger than Emma’s heard it — and also the first time she's noticed his accent, resembling some from the northern mer-people, though his dark hair and tanned skin makes her question even that. 

She gives him a moment like this, gathering his strength, before leaning closer to him, resting her forearms on her knees. “But now, can you — can you tell me what you remember about getting here?” 

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as if trying to remember — which, Emma realizes, is exactly what he’s doing. After a moment, he starts: “Alright, I was… they were questioning me about the location of —" He stops for a moment, briefly meeting her eyes but focusing behind her instead before starting again. "They were looking for some intel that they thought I had. And then when the rain started, they gave up and left me outside, thinking I was too weak to get away, and they were half-right. But the water, it — Christ, Killian — I managed to get away. I had no idea where I was, where I was trying to go, so I just… picked a direction and took off. I really thought I was going to die out there somewhere, that I was finally going to succumb to my wounds, but then I saw this light and I really thought I was going to die, until I realized that it was — it was this hospital, and the door was unlocked even though everyone was asleep. I don’t… I really don’t remember anything after that, but somehow I guess I wound up in your office.” 

"Who was questioning you?" 

She recognizes the fear in his eyes the moment the question slips through her lips. Just as she does not know which side of the war he is on, he must constantly be asking himself the same question about her, especially now that she knows he is a soldier, even without a uniform. If he says the wrong thing, if he reveals that he is on the opposite side of the war as she is, it could prove futile: she could refuse him care, could turn him out of doors to die — or, worse, she could turn him back to the enemy that he narrowly escaped from. 

But she’s not going to do either of those things. “Listen, Killian, this is a hospital. There are no sides to a war in a place like this. But, given your wounds and the obvious hardship you’ve experienced at the hands of your enemy, I fully understand your wariness towards sharing this with me, and I’m certainly not going to force you.”

A silent beat passes, the silence even deeper in the underground safe room, before she pushes herself off the chair. 

“I’m working on gathering supplies for you, but I’m going to be honest, it’s not going to be easy. We’ve been under a regular watch from the enemy recently, what with the changing territories in this area, so I may not be able to get everything I need as fast as I’m hoping to, for your sake.”

“I’m just grateful that you’re willing to help me, love,” he says, and something in his voice lets her know that this is genuine.

She just wishes there was more she could do. 

Morphine, tourniquets, stitching thread, blood, she says to herself as she leaves him alone to rest up some more. Hope, she adds, though she rolls her eyes at her own joke. He needs that more than anything else. 

TAGS: @shireness-says @cssns @kmomof4 @thisonesatellite  @teamhook @darkcolinodonorgasm @cocohook38 @ultraluckycatnd @facesiousbutton82 @hollyethecurious @stahlop @tiguanasummertree  @angellifedeath @pepperpottss @mariakov81 @scientificapricot @teamhook @kday426 @xarandomdreamx @ohmightydevviepuu @xhookswenchx @nikkiemms @carpedzem @superchocovian @resident-of-storybrooke @snowbellewells​ @courtorderedcake​ @captain-emmajones​  -- want to be added or removed? let me know!

[stardancereivor]

The house was empty save for the pitter patter of Fat Son exploring, Eivør sitting beside Salma's bed, and the older Viera sitting in bed with her eyes closed and her breath shallow. Eivør had returned for a week thus far, and she had spent every waking moment tending to her mother. The first few days had been the worst of it. Seeing her mother, reconciling with the fact that she might not be able to help her in spite of what the Green Word was telling her, and then determining that she would do everything within her strength to do so. She had learned so much since leaving Viras, after all. If anyone could do it, it was Eivør. The first task had been to figure out what was even happening, how it had started, and how long it had been. Speaking with the visiting healer and Salma's friends had been helpful, as they explained something she was unsurprised they were having difficulties dealing with. Salma had been on a simple herb gathering venture with her group, something they had done hundreds of times before. Everything was going as it always did, and they had had few disturbances. Nothing major, nothing to write home about. It all changed when they stumbled upon a group of outsiders. It was standard at first; warnings, weapons drawn but not readied for battle, just trying to scare them off before a Wood Warder came across them. None of it had worked. These strangers had a magic they were not familiar with, and they were not afraid of the Viera women. They had managed to disable three of the four intruders, but the fourth one got a shot off on Salma that made her collapse into a seizure and fall into unconsciousness. If only the spear that went through that intruder's head a moment later from a Wood Warder in the trees had been there seconds earlier. This had been a week ago. They had returned Salma quickly to her home and to her bed, where had been ever since.

At the very least it meant that Eivør's lack of presence was not at fault here. This likely would have happened even if she had not left, but because she left it meant she could fix it. She had learned much from her Hyur companions in the infirmary. Figuring out what was wrong with Salma had been quick and easy for Eivør, but treating would take some time. Salma had too much aether in her, mostly of the wrong kind. It was.. unfortunately familiar. It would likely scar her if Eivør took too long. She would be quick, but she had to be careful, so she didn't do more harm than good. The first thing she had to do was get her conscious. "Mother?" She spoke quietly, reaching a hand across to gently set it upon the other Viera's. It stirred her from her sleep, and dark eyes fluttered open as she lifted her head and turned to look to her daughter. Eivør offered her a warm smile, squeezed her hand, and released it to reach over and pick up a bowl and spoon. "How are you feeling?"

Salma sighed quietly, closed her eyes a moment, and then opened them again. "Better now that you are here, my little star. I am sorry to bring you home.. but I am glad to see you.."

Eivør chuckled, scooping up stew and reaching across to offer it to the Salma. "It is fine. Though I cannot promise I will be here forever, I will not be leaving until you are well. It is good to be home. I was... homesick."

"Homesick?" Salma's eyes widened somewhat. "Did something happen?" A pause, and then she finally raised a hand. "I think I am capable of feeding myself, my love--"

"Please, mother. You need to rest. I can do this. And then I will begin treating you."

Salma loosed a sigh, nodded, and finally accepted the offered stew. She was quiet for several moments, then tilted her head to one side. "How do you know how to help me?"

Scooping more stew, Eivør hesitated a moment. "... Because I suffered in ways similar to yourself, and I learned how to treat it from an associate. I will help you, and you will be good as new. But first? We finish this bowl."

"Who is the mother here?" Salma asked with a croak of a laugh, and then she cut off suddenly. "I--oh, love, I am sorry, I--"

"It's fine." Eivør managed a smile.

"You could try again while you are here..?"

"... I could. I doubt anything will come of it. But I will try."

"Wonderful! Who knows. Perhaps this is the one?" Eivør chuckled and shrugged, then offered another spoonful of stew.

"Let's get you fed, hm?"

Salma at least had a healthy appetite. It didn't take long to feed her, and it certainly would take less time to feed her than it would to treat her. It was going to take days to carefully rebalance her aether, and especially to do so without risk of berserking either herself or the bedridden Viera. At the very least it gave her the opportunity to show off her magics. The room would be filled with starlight, with the constellations of Eorzea. It distracted Salma from what Eivør was doing, keeping her calm and content while the younger Viera did her work. It also seemed to lift her spirits to see how Eivør had developed in her absence. She would never admit it, but she had been afraid when Eivør had left. Afraid of what might happen to her. But she should have known that young woman who left all those years ago was not one to be easily removed from this world, she who had been through so much before even seeing her first full century. The floating blades with their orbiting moons and stars were fascinating, as well. She had never seen anything like it. It would seem that leaving had been.. perhaps the right thing for Eivør now that Salma saw some of what she was now capable of. Eivør had been purposeless before; she had her duties, her hunting, her worship, but beyond that she was rather spoiled and usually only did things for herself, her needs, her amusement. It was nice to see her doing something for someone else. She seemed to have matured since last they were together. Good... good. "... Eivør?" Salma eventually asked, her quiet voice filling an otherwise quiet air.

"Yes, mother?" Eivør responded distractedly, the majority of her focus on her magic. She had to be sure she did not overload Salma.

"Now that you have returned.. will you be..." Salma pursed her lips a moment, shook her head, and then looked to Eivør. "Will you be staying? Or will you go again once I am well?"

Eivør did not immediately answer. However, her tall ears began to slowly lower until they were flattened against her hair. Truth be told, Eivør wasn't sure. She still had obligations, right? People who still depended on her. Or would they still depend on someone who left so abruptly with no notice? Perhaps if she told them now that she was sure.. but what would she tell them? Would she stay? Could she stay? Could she go back to this life? It had indeed been something she had thought about, but a part of her had hoped something or someone else would make the decision for her.

Salma frowned and turned her gaze away. "I see. It's fine, just forget I--"

"Wh--no. No.. just..." Sighing, Eivør finally brought her hands away, and the shimmer and shine of twinkling star-like aether began to dim and dissipate. "I do not know. I.. it is something I thought about even on my journey here. Mother, I have been through so much. Some of it bad, but most of it amazing. And I... there are.. were? Are? People who still need me. Depend on me. And I'm no longer the same Eivør I was when I left the wood. I wish I had an answer for you, but even I'm not sure yet. I mean, I'm definitely staying to make sure you are well, but after that? I haven't figured it out."

"I think the fact that you are unsure if you will stay is reason enough not to.." Salma offered gently, lifting her hands to hold Eivør's. "But at least stay a little while, hm? You may relax here. We will not even ask you to perform any kind of strenuous duties. Just.. visit for a time. There are many outside of myself who missed you. I am sure they would be happy to see you again."

Her heart throbbed at the thought. Eivør had broken so many hearts when she left. There was one in particular she remembered, the one who had been her partner at the time. The one who she had hurt the most, probably. She managed a weak smile, but she gave Salma's hands a squeeze nonetheless. "You may be right. I'll.. visit. Even after you're well. It would be nice to spend time with you when you are not sick."

She would stay for the moment. Just a little while, right? It couldn't hurt. Maybe just a few weeks...

[higanbanawritings]

Under the Shadow of the Moon

Chapter One: A long Dream

Ryoka stared directly into the middle pair of the man’s eyes. All six of them, narrowing in on her form sensing the aura of fear radiating off of her body. Ryoka felt a combination of fear and sleepiness. It was like she was in a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from. One moment she was living with her parents and her younger brother, Momiji. And within a blink she was now sitting across from this man…. No this demon. She was only here because she agreed that he could feed on her blood in exchange for sparing her life and the lives of her family.

Even though she was scared out of her mind sleepiness was beginning to overtake her. All she wanted to do was sleep; Today was exhausting physically, emotionally and mentally. And the events leading up to this moment only made it feel like she was in a long dream. She allowed herself to be willingly given to this man… no this demon in order to save the lives of her parents and her younger brother. She wholly belonged to him now and it saddened her to know that her freedom was ripped from her in one snatch.

This whole situation still felt like a long and tiring dream.

⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘

Ryoka was walking home after a long day of sewing garments at the boutique. She was an apprentice for Madame Toshiko who was famous for sewing the most beautiful traditional and western clothing. Ryoka worked tirelessly under her to prove that she was worthy of learning the madame’s skills. It was hard work and she was pretty sure that her boss took advantage of the fact that Ririka was young, naive and passionate about fashion in order to make her work longer hours in the name of “perfecting her craft”. But Ririka didn’t mind. The job paid well and within a couple of years she would be able to open her own boutique and make a name for herself in the emerging Japanese fashion scene. She could finally be independent from her family and not have to depend on anyone. She had the freedom to travel Japan even the world. She just needed the opportunity to come to her and this was it.

“EEEeeeeee! PLEASE SPARE US!”

The scream tore Ryoka away from her thoughts. She froze. It was her mother. It sounded like her mother. Ryoka picked her legs. Her family was in trouble and she had to do something. Anything at all to protect them. Ryoka ignored the burning in her chest. She couldn’t stop when her family needed her most. That was until she saw him . She immediately stopped in her tracks when she saw her family huddled together and cowering. In front of them was a tall man. He had long dark hair with red tips and wore a traditional patterned kimono with black hakama pants. He was also holding a katana which was pointed towards her family.

“A burglar and he’s armed. ” Ryoka knew that whatever she did it had to be the right move or things could be much worse.

She remembered that she had gotten paid a healthy sum today from work. Even though she had planned to use this money to buy herself new clothes for the upcoming festival she knew it was better to part with money and earn more in the future than be cut down by a burglar. She immediately ran in front of her family, holding her arms out shielding them from the towering figure, making her purse visible to the burglar. When she was able to get a good look at his face her breath hitched in her throat. This man had three sets of eyes on his face with red sclera and yellow irises. His middle set of eyes seemed to be engraved with the mark of ‘Upper Moon One’, and red markings resembling flames were seen on his face and neck.

It was then that Ryoka realized that this was no man but that he was a demon. She always had thought that demons were simply myths used to scare children into behaving but this creature before her was the real deal. He had no intention of robbing her family. No he was capable of doing much worse.

‘He’s going to eat all of us! Momiji, he’s too young to die like this! I’ve got to do something! I need to do something!”

She closed her eyes, and her head was pounding. There was something she should be able to do. And then it comes to her.

⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘

Tennouji Ryoka was born a sickly child. Her parents Tohru and Katsumi had tried everything in their power to find a cure but could not. They even visited the most esteemed western doctors that money could buy, but it proved to be futile. In a moment of desperation, they went to a traditional healer named Chiyo who had been able to cure Ryoka.

“What do you mean?” Tohru asked.

“The blood of your daughter, Ryoka. It’s not normal.” Lady Chiyo answered. The old woman took one long inhale of her pipe before puffing out a cloud of smoke. Tohru and Katsumi covered their coughs so as not to offend Chiyo.

“But how could you tell?” Tohru asked, his eyes tearing up from the smoke around him.

“The scent she gives off. It’s one of those who carries abnormal blood inside them. It’s what is making her sick.”

“Did someone curse my daughter? Who would do this? We haven’t done anything to anyone to deserve such cruelty.” Katsumi broke down sobbing. She didn’t know why her daughter had to suffer from a blood disease.

“As far as I can tell she is not cursed. However, I fear that she will live a life of hardship.” Chiyo then got up and walked towards a chest sitting atop a high shelf. She took it down and opened it. She rummaged through the chest until she found exactly what she was looking for. It was a small sack.

“This will be a long process but you will need to bring your daughter here so that I can properly administer this medicine to her.” Chiyo stated.

“What is it?” Tohru asked hesitantly. He already had his doubts about visiting a traditional healer to help Ryoka and this wasn’t helping to ease his worries at all.

“Crushed blue spider lily. I came from a long line of medical healers and while I was young, I happened to stumble upon old documents from an ancestor of mine. He had written about how he was healing a young man who had been sick for his whole life and did not have much time to live. He beloved that this flower, the Blue spider lily was the key to healing that man. Unfortunately, my ancestor had mysteriously disappeared before he was able to write down the results of this medicine. Administering this medicine would be risky, but it’s a risk we cannot afford to take.”

Chiyo’s cure had worked. At least in the beginning. Ryoka seemed to make a full recovery. She was even able to run long distances without collapsing from exhaustion. However, side effects started showing up. Although Ryoka had been cured from her previous ailment it seemed as though she was not out of the woods yet. And it didn’t seem like she would ever be. Unfortunately, Lady Chiyo had died of a heart attack and with it was any possible cure to Ryoka's new "condition".

⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘

Ryoka immediately prostrated herself on the floor. Keeping her head low and trying her best not to look up even when she heard the demon’s katana being pointed at her. She wasn’t going to let her fear stop her from keeping her family alive.

“Please, sir. Please spare my parents and my younger brother.” Ririka was on the ground pleading for her family with her head bowed low in front of the demon. She dared to not look up at the katana that was pointed at her. She knew it would only add to her and she couldn’t mess up her only chance to save the lives of her family.

“Hoo? And why should I spare your family girl.” The demon asked ,mocking Ryoka’s pathetic position.

“Because you can have me instead. My body produces a lot of blood. More than my body needs. My blood is also rare according to our late village healer. So you can feed on it and it’ll nourish more than eating my whole family can.”

“Ryoka! No!” Her mother wailed.

“Please don’t take my daughter. Eat me but please spare my wife and children.” Her father, a usually stoic man cried out, choking on his own sobs. Her brother was quiet. Tears streaming down his face as he could only watch his sister giving herself away to a demon.

Kokushibou, the demon, couldn’t help but smirk a little. In front of him were four pathetic humans begging and wailing for their lives. It would be better to just kill them all, but the girl’s offer did intrigue him. Hunting for food did take time away from completing his other missions for Lord Muzan.

Ryoka tried her best to stay strong in front of the tall demon despite the pleading of her parents. She then hears the sheathing of a katana back into its scabbard.

“Very well. I’ll come back for you in two months time. I’ll need to prepare your new home. And I believe you’re well aware of what will happen if you try to go back on your promise?” Ryoka nodded, forcing back tears.

“Yes I understand.”

⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘

Two months came and went. And Ryoka stood on the veranda of her family’s home with some of her belongings on the night of a full moon. She was standing alone. It was much easier that way. The day had already been filled with tearful goodbyes and Ririka was sure that she had no tears left to cry.

“It is time.” The six eyed demon appeared suddenly before her. This was it. Ryoka had to leave her old life behind along with those she loved and cared for.

But before she could take her first step Ririka felt a tug on her kimono sleeve.

“Nee-san Please don’t leave us. I’m praying to the gods and buddha to not have this demon take you away. So please stay with us. I promise I’ll be good and listen to mom and dad… just don’t leave us.” Ryoka looked into the teary warm chocolate eyes of her little brother, Momoji. She knelt down pulling him into a hug and trying to put on her bravest face for him.

“ Momiji, be a good boy. And do your best to look after mom and dad. I’m praying for you to live a long and fruitful life. Just know that no matter what, nee-san will always love you. She held onto Momiji for a few more moments before pulling away, picking up her belongings and walking over to the demon.

It hurt Ryoka to hear her family pleading for her to come back while she followed the six-eyed demon into the night.

“My name is Kokushibou. I thought that it was important for you to know who I am.” The demon, Kokushibou, spoke as they walked towards their new ‘home’.

“Tennouji Ryoka.”

“Hmm. Well then, Ryoka let’s make this a painless experience for the both of us.”

⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘⁕⚘

“You seem forlorn!” A voice tore her away from her thoughts. It was Kokushibou he was still sitting across from her.

“I know it may seem cruel to take you away from your family. But rest assured I will take care of you.” Kokushibou spoke to her softly, setting a futon for her to sleep on.

Ryoka pursed her lips. She wanted to snap at him. Tell him to go to hell. Tell him that he was a monster for ripping her away from her family and holding their lives over her head. She opted to hold her tongue in fear of angering him. However, that didn’t mean that she was placated. She was still seeing red and she felt hot inside.

Actually, she really did feel hot inside. Like she was having a fever or something. It was becoming more difficult to breath and her head felt light and heavy at the same time. She was trying to keep her composure so as to not alert Kokushibou. His back was still turned to her, talking to her about their arrangement.

“ I have convinced his lordship to let me keep you. However, you must give him your blood as payment. Considering your ‘condition’ that should not be a problem?

As if on cue Ryoka’s nose started to bleed. It was a part of her ‘condition’ as a result of the ‘cure’ Lady Chiyo had given her.. Her body produced too much blood and if she did not drain her body of excess blood it would leak out of her nose, ears , eyes or even mouth.

Kokushibou smelt the blood and immediately came to her side. Grabbing her chin, he forced her to face him . Grabbing a cloth, Kokushibou wiped the blood from her nose. But he could tell by the reddening of her face that she needed to release more blood. He pulled down the shoulder of her kimono. Positioning his mouth over her neck, Kokushibou bites down and starts to drink Ririka’s blood. Ririka gasps from the pain, however soon enough, she begins to feel relief as Kokushibou sucking the excess blood from her body.

It went on like this for a while. Kokushibou released his mouth from Ririka’s neck obviously having his hunger satisfied. Ririka was still panting. Her body was still hot and she needed to cool down.

“Marechi.” Kokushibou stated

“What?” Ryoka asked, still in a daze.

“You have rare blood. Marechi. His lordship will be pleased to know that you can produce marechi blood without risking your life.” Ryoka was waning in and out of consciousness. but she could’ve sworn that he was talking about using her as a blood factory.

Ryoka didn’t have the energy to argue with him about giving her blood away to other demons. She was too tired and she wanted to sleep.

“Good, I am going to meet with his Lordship. My scent covers the area surrounding this estate so weaker demons will be deterred from attacking you. .I should not be gone for long.” And with that he left. But not before breaking off pieces of his sword and leaving them around so that he can keep an eye on her even when he is away.

A few moments passed before Ririka was sure that he was gone.She crawled over to her futon and lied. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep, lamenting her new life as the possession of a demon.

Thanks for reading. You can also find this story on my AO3 page under the username camelliasinspring.

[alleycat97]

A Night Out (Pt. 5)

Notes: Part 5 y’all! Thanks for all the positive support it means the world to me. I never thought I’d come back to this! I blame it on my incredible support system. You guys rock and have given me hope once again! Slight language here and there. As usual, PBs characters, General Audience.

Description: Kamilah is taken out on the town to blow some steam off with an unlikely source, Priya. Kamilah didn’t care for an all mortal nightclub but Priya promised her it would be worth it, saying she would finally get laid in over a century

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Aurora)

Tag list: @onyxgaytrash @wildsayeed @beyondthenakedeye28 @scarlet-letter-a0114 @mrskamilxh @kamilahslittlehoe @lightning-fury @kelseyapperson if you want on or off just let me know!

...

Morning came fast for Aurora, it always did it seemed. She was excited for her second day of work and also late...very late.

“Shit!” She panicked falling out of her bed and onto the floor trying to untangle herself from her comforter. She went to grab her phone to call Adrian but was extremely nervous because he had texted her already.

“Don’t worry about working days, I’m moving you to nights if that’s ok. See you at 8pm.”

Aurora fell back onto her bed relieved she didn’t have to work yet. She pulled her comforter back up to her chin and started contemplating that she would soon have to talk to Kamilah. A conversation, she wasn’t looking forward to.

...

Kamilah didn’t sleep after Priya had left. She spent the remainder of her night at her home desk thinking of ways to have Amy debriefed. She had no business knowing about the vampire world, it was too dangerous. And the fact that Adrian would allow a mortal into it, again.

The thought of Adrian being around Aurora more than her made her sick. She loved Adrian but she knew his game. Aurora was technically fair game and he was trying to get his turn. Kamilah didn’t do jealousy, she hasn’t been jealous in over a century but boy when she got jealous, no one was safe.

Kamilah grabbed her phone and dialed Adrian, he should be in his office by now,

“Hello Kamilah, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“Where is she Adrian.” Kamilah said plainly and to the point.

“Who?” Adrian asked confused.

“Aurora. Your new assistant.” Kamilah hissed out.

“Oh.” Adrian had done figured out what this was about. The scene at Priya’s answered his question. “She is home. I told her to come in tonight.”

“Of course. Adrian why didn’t you debrief her! It’s much too dangerous for a mortal to be in are world!”

“But Kamilah...”

“And you always do this! You get attached to them and it never ends well! You’re a council member for OUR people Adrian, a mortal will make you weak, and vulnerable! You know this!” Kamilah continued to rant.

“Then why do you want her so bad?” Adrian challenged, making Kamilah go silent.

“I....I don’t know.” She finally answered.

“Look Kamilah, she asked me not to debrief her. She said she wanted in and I cannot make her do something she doesn’t wanna do.” Adrian replied. He was right, it was their code and Kamilah had to respect that.

“Well then. Where is she now?” Kamilah asked.

“I guess at home?”

“What’s her address?” Kamilah toyed with her response trying not to look eager.

“You know I can’t tell you that.” He replied. “It’s confidential.”

“Adrian...” Kamilah spoke, Adrian knowing the tone and knowing to just give in.

“Fine...”

...

Kamilah headed straight for her car, typing in the address into its navigation system. Halfway there Priya called,

“Hello?” Kamilah answered.

“Darling! Have you had the talk yet!?” She squealed.

Kamilah sighed and rolled her eyes. “You just left my house like...6 hours ago, so no I haven’t.”

“Well you’re wasting time! Go get her tiger! And you just have to bring her by the mansion tonight! I need her to be my muse!”

“Oh hell no.” Kamilah grumbled while changing lanes.

“Please!!!!!” Priya whined like she always did to get her way. “You should have seen her in one of my originals! Darling, she was the talk of my club! I promise to keep my fangs away...”

“We will see.” Kamilah sighed.

“Where are you anyway?” Priya asked, hearing the sounds of the interstate.

“I’m going to talk to her. Adrian gave me her address.”

“YESSSSSS!!!!” Priya moaned almost busting Kamilah’s speakers. “I hope you tell her how dumb you are and hopefully the rough makeup sex, well, makes up for it.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Kamilah lightly chuckled, pulling up to the destination. “Ok I’m here, I gotta go.”

“Good luck! Call me after the sex! Or during, I don’t care either way!”

Kamilah hung up immediately and began to laugh. Priya could be a handful but she did make life interesting at times. But Kamilah quickly brought her focus back into adjustment.

She had to talk to Aurora and it wasn’t going to be easy. She had a lot of making up to do and honestly she was becoming overwhelmed.

As she stepped out of her car, she was careful to avoid the sunlight and before she could enter the complex, a loud high pitched squeal gained her attention.

She ran to the frantic screaming, floor by floor she climbed until she found the voice,

“Aurora! Get back! Don’t let it touch you!” Kamilah demanded, drawing her daggers.

Aurora threw her shoe at the creature, earning her running room to get behind Kamilah.

“What is that thing!?” Aurora said in shock.

“A feral.” Kamilah backed away from it, pushing Amy with her. The feral charged and Kamilah pushed Amy away and accepted it with a heavy slash of her dagger, earning a high pitch scream from the feral.

It only grew angrier as is set it’s sights on Aurora, but Kamilah was there and quickly made a clean swipe at the neck, separating the head from its body and quickly falling into a pile of ash.

Kamilah put her daggers away and extended a hand to a shaking Aurora,

“You saved me.” Aurora said rising to her feet. “What was that thing and what did it want?”

“Short answer, it was a infected vampire. They just lurk around trying to feed. I’ll explain once inside.” Kamilah said gesturing to continue their walk.

“What happened?” Kamilah asked again while Amy processed this information.

“I went out to go get breakfast and when I came back, my door...was...open...Lily!” Aurora took off into the room looking for her roommate.

“Amy wait! It could be dangerous!”

[auralite776]

Hi, I’m a horrible human.

I wrote this thing, so here you go!

Word count: 1,959

What if the three house lords became children thanks to a spell?

———————————————————————

Suddenly, three screams came from an unknown room. Geez, how many rooms were in this monastery, anyway?

It seemed nobody else heard the sound, so I assumed it was up to me to find the source. I had to make sure everything was alright before heading back to the classroom where the Black Eagle students were headed. Anyway, I head to the door, and cracked it open just a little, making sure nothing would leap out. “Not a single sound...hopefully everything is alright…” I whisper to myself before opening the door the rest of the way.

Oh my ever loving Sothis.

To what might as well have been my horror, three small figures peered at me. This must be a nightmare...or some sick joke.

“No, you dummy! Of course it’s real! You got knocked in the head with a club earlier today, remember?” Sothis’ voice rang as she spoke.

“Sothis, now is not the time.”

I walk over to get a closer look at the three people, and again to my shock, they look exactly like Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude respectively. What seemed to be their school uniforms were wickedly big on them, and because of that, they fell over when they tried to stand.

“Do I even want to know what happened?” I say, raising an eyebrow. They said nothing. At that, I heaved a sigh. I don’t get paid enough to deal with this…

“Well...alright. Let’s get you three to Manuela to see if there’s a way to get you back to normal.”

When I finished speaking, Edelgard managed to get her uniform in such a position so she could stand up, and walked to my side. Claude, however, came up with his brilliant plan to get up on my shoulder. Dimitri seemed too scared to stand up for some reason. I guessed it was best to carry him.

—————————————————————

“Oh… Oh my…”

“What is it, Manuela? Is it something that can’t be cured?” I said, somewhat frantically.

“Not that it can’t be cured, per se, but…” Manuela went on with a distressed tone mixed with an uncertain frown.

“But what?”

“It’ll take time for that spell to wear off. The question is how long, depending on the potency of that specific spell.”

Dammit. Now I’ll have to watch over three toddlers somehow and still be expected to carry out my duties. Just what I needed.

“You dragged yourself into this.”

Gee thanks, Sothis. As if I wasn’t aware of that in the first place!

“Just… Please, figure out how long it’ll take to wear off.”

“I’d say in about a day, though I’ll need to look over a few things, so it might be longer. Could you watch over them until it does?”

“I can try, hopefully Lady Rhea can alter my schedule or something.” I said as I scoop the three house leaders into my arms. “What do I need to do to watch over them, exactly?”

Manuela giggled. “I’m sure you’ll figure that out soon enough, Professor. Good day.” she giggled again as she left.

Well, a day or two won’t be that bad, right?

—————————————————————

Shit.

One hour and my room is a complete disaster. Figures. I can’t keep my eyes off of those three for a second! If only I could get some advice…

Dimitri started wailing once there was a knock on the door. In my desperate attempt to calm him down, I then heard the door slam into part of the wall. Which, in turn, caused the crown prince of Faerghus to scream even louder. Claude just stared in curiosity while hanging from the ceiling, and even then I wonder how he did that, while Edelgard covered her ears with a pillow.

“I gotta say, kid. You’re doing a decent job keeping yourself together.” Father remarked as he made his presence known.

“That’s incorrect.” I sigh. “I feel wickedly exhausted already and I can barely tear my eyes off of them without one crying or another object broken.” Finally, Dimitri stopped his cries. A relief to my ears.

“How long until the stupid thing will be done and over with?”

“A day or so. Hopefully. Manuela said it had something to do with the potency of some spell. Do you...know of anything I can do to keep them from destroying everything or screaming?”

“You’d be better off with trying to make the gremlins go to sleep.” Father sighed. “It’s pretty much the only thing that keeps them quiet and from causing mass destruction.”

“Gee thanks, Father. I know that, but how do I make them tired?”

My father opened his mouth to say something just as soon as Claude bolted out of the room as fast as his little legs could go. Which was unbelievably fast. I didn’t say another word before I took off after him. I cannot trust him out of anyone to not stay out of trouble. Yet I was already too late…

There was the stench of rotten meat everywhere.

Lady Rhea—the poor woman—was completely drenched in water.

Thanks to Claude, Seteth has made me his sworn enemy, or so I guessed from his soul-revealing glare. Yet the Archbishop laughed.

I stopped, completely out of break. Damn that kid is fast… Better leave it to the guards to catch him.

“Got rather busy, I see? And with quite the troublemaker, too.”

“I…” I panted. “I’m sorry...about him…”

“It’s alright, Professor.” Lady Rhea said calmly as she placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll get the guards to go after him. How about you keep your eye on the other two?”

I nod, my dry throat and exhaustion catching up to me. I slowly make my way back to my quarters. My father left, it seems. Dimitri curled himself up with one of my overcoats as Edelgard stayed wide awake, gazing out the window. She looked terribly sad…

Her thoughts seemed to have escaped her as I pat a spot on my bed, seeing if she wanted to join me. She did, oddly enough, making herself comfortable while making sure she was as close to me as she possibly could. Poor girl must’ve had a bad memory resurface, by the look of things. It was silent, for a while.

“P...Professor…?” Edelgard’s tiny voice squeaked.

“Yes, Edelgard?”

“Can you...call me El? My older sisters used to call me that...before...you know…”

That moment of tension caused her to sniffle. I gently traced a single scar on her back, which might’ve been one of her worst. “Hey, it’s okay. I can call you that, if you wish. But all things aside, if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, you know where to find me, alright?”

“Alright…”

More silence filled the room as Edelgard scooted herself upward, allowing her head to rest on my chest as she promptly fell asleep. A good thing, yet very curious. Soon enough, there was this warm, but indescribable feeling deep within my chest. When I put my hand on it, I, of course, felt nothing. There was nothing. No heartbeat…

I still held Edelgard close. What happened to her was one of the worst things I could possibly think of. All I could do now was be there for her to lean on, to be there to comfort her whenever needed. Despite being numb to some emotion, I felt...warm, I felt relaxed, and...it felt...right, somehow.

“Professor, are you...smiling?”

“What do you mean…?”

Edelgard seemed embarrassed when she asked that question. Avoided eye contact all together. “Er...it’s nothing…”

“If you say so.”

If only my heart actually beat...then perhaps Edelgard would be more relaxed. It might not be the case for her slight fidgeting, but she did cling. Was this...due to all of those experiments? Was she scared of letting anyone close to her go? I can’t change the past, no matter how hard I try…

“May I ask you something, Professor…?” Edelgard said quietly.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Do you… Do you think that those who suffer can be saved…?” Edelgard sounded hesitant, afraid. “That...when given a hand to hold, can escape…?”

“It depends. It depends on the person, what said person is struggling with coping, and the person who reached out to them. Not everyone can escape their traumatic childhoods, but if I had to offer my opinion, it would be that anyone could use that experience to change the world.”

The white-haired girl that made her home in my lap blinked with such wonder that I didn’t dare to try and understand. And yet, she frowned, her small arms wrapping around me and clutching my overcoat. “I want to change the world...for the better. You’ll help me...right?” she whispered as her body began to shake.

Edelgard relaxed as soon as I put a hand on the back of her head, gently threading my fingers through the strands of colorless hair. I always wondered what Edelgard’s natural hair color was, but then again she’d look beautiful no matter what.

She nudged me gently, her head burying itself in my chest. “I hate it. My entire body is scarred… I don’t doubt they won’t heal, but...they look horrific.”

Not to say that I didn’t agree. Some scars bore bad memories, others embarrassing accidents, but I had to shake my head. “El, that’s not entirely correct. They might look horrific to you, reminding you of those painful memories, yet in actuality, they only add more value in who you are. The scars made you the woman you are today, did they not? I believe that they enhance your beauty.”

Oh Goddess, I can’t believe I just said that.

Edelgard, however, grinned. “Thank you, Professor!”

The moment of peace was interrupted by Claude being gently shoved into the room, looking very disappointed. He yawned, crawling onto the bed next to Dimitri, who surprisingly was still asleep.

Hopefully the spell that made them like this would wear off. Soon.

“I guess it’s time for bed.” I yawn, looking back at Edelgard who leaned on my shoulder, fast asleep.

I lay down and pull the covers and sheets over my body, which made Claude and Dimitri move in order to stay warm, so the three huddled around me when they forced themselves under the sheet.

Soon enough, I shut my eyes, a curious warmth dwelling within my chest.

—————————————————————

Snap!

I jolted awake as soon as I felt something crushing me. Whatever it was, it was almost suffocating me. Until I realize…

The spell wore off. In my bedroom. On my bed. And it caused me to be in need of a new bed.

Something moved and immediately panicked. I opened a single eye, and Dimitri was awake, back to normal. One thing I did notice, his face was bright red.

Claude also moved, beginning to snicker, but stopped as soon as he realized what had happened. He was going to have an earful, that much was certain.

Edelgard stirred, but didn’t stand up like Claude and Dimitri did. Instead, she looked at who she was laying against and quickly rolled over, internally screaming.

They all demanded to know what happened yesterday. After I finished telling the story, they all had various responses.

Dimitri ran out of the room.

Claude laughed to hide his embarrassment.

And Edelgard…

Edelgard profusely apologized and hurried away to her quarters.

It was quite an interesting day. The three could barely even speak to me without growing flushed in the face. They did snap out of it later, when the fiasco was long such forgotten.

Oh, and the bed? I got a new one. Frankly, nobody dared to ask how it broke.

[donttellpeterparker]

HSMTMTS Part 4

Summary: Coming into Junior Year things were going to be different. With my handsome and sweet Senior boyfriend on my arm, I could do and be anything I wanted, nothing was going to stop me... except... of course... maybe him.

Requested: Yes xx You must be hating how long this is getting xo

Word Count: 3k+

Warning(s)?: god fiNALLY SOME FLUFF BUt like with a lil angst whoops (Italics in quotation are lyrics), Written in third and first person which is something different, Yes this is following the script from the show so please no comments about how it's exactly like it because... that's kinda the point :)

Taglist: Open

MERRY CHRISTMAS BABES! HAPPY HOLIDAYS (And if you don't celebrate Christmas HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY <3)

masterlist

——————————————————

HSMTMTS

''Can I get you to move a little closer to each other?'' Mrs Jen smiled, directing both EJ and I closer as the other cast members looked on with questioning glances. I could tell what they where thinking. What's wrong with them? They're a couple, why is it so awkward? Aren't they together?

Answer, no we weren't anymore, not that it was anyone's business. I was so tried of being lied to and left with nothing, nothing but my own wild guesses. EJ tried explaining but I couldn't hear it, everything was lie. The play during the summer, the lead part I got, a lie. The last school musical part, also a lie. Even a present he gave me was a lie, a used lie by his ex-girlfriend. Annoyance didn't even cover what I was feeling towards him.

''Come on, guys, we are blocking this as a love story, not a SARS epidemic'' Mrs Jen tried to joke through the tension. I stepped closer towards him, EJ doing the same though trying to get my attention while doing so.

''Troy, once the intro begins, cross downstage and plant yourself at the piano. Gabriella, you slowly approach the piano, and rest an arm on it, naturally. Okie dokie! Now, Let's take it from 'Wow, now that's really nice''' Mrs Jen instructs. As per usual, Peter wasn't here so EJ filled in as his understudy. I was almost tempted to get Gina, my understudy who had been trying to steal my spot take this one.

''Wow, now that's really nice'' EJ states awkwardly, his enthusiasm stiff. I grimace as the piano softly began to play. This was going to be a long rehearsal.

~*~*~*~*

''How do people like that live with themselves? How do they sleep at night?'' I babbled on, holding the cup of coffee in my cold hands. My best friend sat across from me, holding her own beverage inside our favorite little cafe.

''Like a shark. Eyes open'' If I wasn't so down I'd probably laugh.

''We've been dating for, like, three months and I don't even know this person'' I exclaimed, throwing my hands to the side before returning them back to my cup, taking a sip.

''Sweetie, it's called a blind spot. Everybody's got 'em. Why do you think I flunked my driving test?'' She folded her hands forward now, smiling a little which caused me to smile softly.

''If he's willing to do that to somebody, how long before he tries to poison me?'' Again, asking aloud but was very grateful for the ears my best friend was lending me in my time of need.

''I'm gonna get us some food'' She stood up, sighing to herself as I was lost deep in thought. A few moments later she came back, snapping me out of it.

''These are your choices, a very sad-looking bran muffin or some really shriveled-up carrots'' I scrunch my nose up, not liking either. I glanced down at them, picking up the muffin packet.

''Don't look now, but you're shark's cousin is here'' I glanced back up and then pivoted my head around, spotting Ashlyn. I smiled softly towards her. Hoping for a smile back, she gave me a timid look instead, quickly retreating. I hop up fast, chasing after her.

''Hey! Ashlyn! You don't have to avoid me'' I call out, noticing her pick up her helmet from her bike.

''No. I'm not avoiding, I just decided to make a half-caff mocha frappe at home'' She faked a smile.

''Look, Ashlyn, no matter what happens between me and EJ, there's no bad blood between us. I mean, you might have some because you're related to him, but that's not your fault'' I chuckled, getting off track.

''Y/N, I really don't want to be in the middle''

''Wait, you're not. It's not like you knew what he did'' She instantly frowned. My awkward smile fell a little, realising.

''Oh. You knew what he did, and you knew about the hot egg? His ex-girlfriend?'' I asked.

''Not till today'' She responded, frowning herself at her stupid cousin. I sighed in relief.

''But, I'm not totally surprised''

''Are you totally disgusted?'' I asked a little incredulously.

''A little, but he's EJ. He tends to do the wrong things for the right reasons''

''No, you cannot possibly defend him'' I began, growing slightly annoyed.

''No, I'm not. I'm not. Look, I know what he did sucks, but he loves you... and he's hurting right now and...'' Ashlyn tried reasoning, feeling a little silly for even backing up her cousin in the first place.

''Yeah, and what? What am I supposed to do with that?''

''Find some way to forgive him?'' As much as I hated to say it, she did have a point. But it was not going to be that easy, he did a lot of unforgivable things. Why does he deserve a second chance?

~*~*~*~*

My thoughts consumed me again once I got home. I went straight up to my room and stayed in there, even missed dinner because I wasn't feeling very well. I felt sick to my stomach thinking about everything, I wish I could turn my brain off and stop. The only thing that usually calmed me down wasn't here anymore.

I didn't even bother checking my phone once I heard it go off.

''Hey hot stuff'' I answered with a smile. My best friend laughed through the phone, sending a greeting back.

''Just checking to make sure you're okay'' She was honestly the best.

''Yeah, I'm fine'' I lied smoothly, walking over towards my bed.

''You sure?'' She asked in a disbelieving tone.

''Uh, yeah. It happened, it's over, life goes on. Plus, I just blocked EJ's number, so... Problem solved!'' Sometimes she was the only person who could see through the mask.

''You know it's okay to be sad, too, right?'' I bit my lip, not wanting to cry.

''Yeah, I know''

''Y/N, it's okay to be sad'' I looked up towards my window, smiling sadly.

''Yeah. Okay, thanks hun''

''Call me anytime, okay?'' A genuine smile now coated my lips.

''I will. You're the best. Mwah bye-bye'' I sing-songed at the end before hanging up the phone. I soon found myself frowning again, my thoughts immediately rushing back in. My body fell backwards, landing on the soft pile of cushions underneath. I let my eyes wander the star-covered ceiling, humming to myself. A few seconds later I sat back up again, reaching out towards the end of my bed for my electronic keyboard.

My fingertips were already dancing across the keys, a melody softly beginning to form. It wasn't hard to find the lyrics to how I was feeling, using my heart as the words and my hands as the melody, everything fell into place.

''I found a boy, told me I was a star... Held the door, held my hand in the dark... And he's perfect on paper, but he's lying to my face... Does he think that I'm the kinda girl that needs to be saved?...'' I stopped myself once I heard the upstairs bathroom door open and close loudly, a voice echoing.

''Thanks Carol!'' I recognised the voice. My hands stilled. I quickly hopped off of my bed and walked over towards my closed bedroom door, opening it to leave the room. I closed it behind me and made my way down the stairs.

''Uh... hey mum?'' My words formed more of a question once I saw her prepping the sofa with pillows and a blanket.

''Hi, there'' She smiled, looking up to face me.

''Whose are those?'' I asked, gesturing down towards the boy-style sneaks near the bottom of the stairs. They looked like-

''Peter's''

''Why are they here?'' Teeth were biting my bottom lip.

''Because the rest of him is in the bathroom changing into pajamas, or whatever else I gave him to wear''

''Mum'' A soft whine left my throat.

''Hold on, hold on. There's something going on at home. It has something to do with his Aunty... Her and Happy are back in town, engaged. I already called her to let them know he was spending the night here'' She finished.

''Spending the night?'' My eyes widen. We both hear the door open from upstairs, our heads turning for a moment.

''Mum, I can't deal with any more drama today. Please...'' I begged. My mum stepped forward.

''Sweetheart...''

''I have had the worst day ever'' The words tumbled out. I hadn't even wanted to tell them anything.

''Sweetie, I'm guessing not as bad as his'' I glanced down, biting my lip.

''Yeah'' Soft footsteps tracked down the stairs. I turned around once my mum glanced up behind me with a warm smile.

''Hey'' Peter greeted my, eyes a little wide. I scrunched my lips together and nodded back at him.

''Well, I gotta say, that looks better on you than it does on me'' Mum jokes, pointing towards the shirt he was wearing. Even I smiled a little.

''Uh, It's kinda comfy'' Peter responds, chuckling.

''Well, so are my birkenstocks, but let's draw the line here'' The both of them chuckle. My lips only pursed in response.

''Yeah. Well... sleep tight'' Mum said softly.

''Hey, thanks again for letting me stay. Thank you'' Peter stumbled over his words, a small blush on his cheeks due to slight embarrassment. Mum just shook her head.

''Anytime'' She said before walking up the stairs.

''I probably should've called you, and asked how you feel about me being here. I didn't...'' He began once mum was out of sight.

''It's okay. You wouldn't have reached me. I turned my phone off'' I stayed still, rocking slowly on my spot. My feet stopped once Peter walked past me, looking completely exhausted. He headed straight for the couch but stayed standing, his eye looking distant.

''So, what's going on at home?'' I asked cautiously.

''I don't...'' Peter stammered, turning around.

''Well, if things ever get really tense, you know you can always hang here'' I threw my hands to the side with a soft laugh, trying to ease him a little. He sat down, eyes still looking straight ahead.

''I'm really scared'' Peter smacked his lips.

''I'm really scared this time'' Peter knew that his Aunt and Happy were getting close, dating even. But he thought she'd never look into marriage ever again, not since Uncle Ben... He was even a little mad that she would consider it, marrying someone else. Her and Uncle Ben were perfect, they raised him perfectly and in a loving home. When he died, he watched his Aunt fall into depression, barely showing any emotions for at least a year afterwards. The funeral was the second hardest day of his life, the first being saying goodbye to his parents without even realising.

Uncle Ben was his entire support system, his role model in life. He grew into a father figure, someone irreplaceable. The thought of his Aunt May going through all of that again scared the hell out of him. Peter never felt like he was going to accept Happy into the family, the spot was already taken and he couldn't see why May would want to add another.

He couldn't see her lose another person she loved, a person Peter may even love himself one day. Losing three parental figures was enough for a lifetime.

''It feels different already'' And they weren't even married yet.

''Oh, But... I mean, that's all it is right? Different? Doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad'' I tried to soothe, walking over to sit next to him. He turns to face me, eyes and face slightly red and blotchy. He had been crying.

''It's really hard to talk about it, you know? N-not with you, but anyone else, it's like...'' He trails off, glancing at me then straight ahead again.

''Well, you can always talk to me about anything anytime, okay?'' My heart was breaking for him. I know how much it hurt him to lose Uncle Ben, I didn't know him at the time but he spoke about him a lot, especially when we first started dating.

''I know, things are kinda weird between us, but, um, we're friends, right?''

''Yep'' Peter nodded, his eyes still on me. It was hard not to get lost in them. Every second passing I could feel myself being pulled back in, the thumping in my chest growing and growing. A warmth had settled in my stomach.

''You know that'' My voice broke near the end, softening. My eyes fell to his lips before meeting his eyes again. A breath hitched in my throat, the softest gasp leaving my parted lips. My chest was growing warm, heart beginning to beat a little faster. I still couldn't look away. Not when he was looking at me with a soft expression, his own eyes darting towards my lips then my eyes.

''Uh, do you need a pillow?'' I bounced up, glancing behind me then back towards him, trying to shake the overwhelming feelings. Peter sniffled, snapping himself out of it as well.

''Or... yeah'' Peter had to force his eyes away from her lips.

''Or no. No that's great'' He failed miserably. The feelings he had been pushing down for months rushing to the surface, spilling over.

''Yeah, thank you'' He was stumbling over his words, growing nervous.

''Okay. No problem'' My words sounded stiff and awkward but I tried to smile anyway. We just stopped and stared at each other for a second, not knowing what to do.

''Good night, Peter'' I spoke up, breaking the silence first. Without thinking, I lent forwards and wrapped my arms around him. It was a huge mistake, and I immediately tried to lean away once I felt the rush of tingles and the warmth spreading around me, enveloping me like a blanket. His arms circled around me before I could move.

Peter's features softened again, thankful for the comfort he was so desperately seeking. I exhaled, letting myself lose a battle with my self control. I hugged him a little tighter, almost needing it for myself. It was uncanny, the way my body was still responding to his touch so easily, becoming putty in his hands. With my self control dwindling by the second, I needed to retreat soon before I ended up doing something I'd regret.

But he was so warm and inviting and... intoxicating. I couldn't get enough.

My brain soon switched back on, pulling my body away slowly. I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest, ringing in my ears. My mind forced me to look down, my self control slowly coming back.

But I made the deadly mistake of looking up, meeting his chocolaty, brown eyes. I was already done for. Peter must have felt it too, looking down at me as if I was the most gorgeous and fragile thing he ever saw. He instinctively bought a hand up to cup my cheek, swooping down quickly to close the small gap between our parted lips.

My heart was wanting to burst out of my chest, warmth radiating from his soft lips to my own, trembling ones. He held my cheek still, his other hand still on my waist not letting me go. Peter could feel it too, his heart almost leaping out painfully. His emotions are terribly heightened by his spidey-senses.

My eyes drifted close on their own, my heart winning a losing battle for the tiniest of moments. Self control what?

I pulled away swiftly, my eyes quickly opening to gaze into his. The same aww expression mirroring my own.

''You can't do that'' The tone was a little hoarse, it was even breaking a little.

''I know... I'm sorry'' His hand was still cupping my face. I needed to remove myself from here before I pulled him back in for another swee-

''I'll grab you some more pillows, these ones are quite flat'' I lept away as if I was just burned, my eyes going glassy as I bounded up the stairs towards my bedroom. My hand shut the door so fast, my breathing becoming irregular and slightly strained.

A lone tear left my eye and fell down, another one soon followed, then another. Before I knew it I was crying, crying over how painfully fast my heart was beating. Crying over the tingling warmth still dancing across my lips. Crying over the boy just meters away who had somehow broken my heart all over again.

After 10 minutes I managed to calm myself down enough to stop crying, my heart going back to it's original rhythm. I gathered the pillows and slowly walked back down the stairs, leaving me bedroom door open.

The pillows, blanket and my mum's clothes were neatly folded on top of the lounge, Peter nowhere in sight. My eyes were tearing up again, a pillow falling from my grip.

Again, I returned to my bedroom, willing myself not to cry. The keyboard was still on my bed, my mouth humming the tune again as I sat down, playing as I let my heart sing the words.

''And there's one more boy, he's from my past... We fell in love but it didn't last... 'Cause the second I figured it out, he pushes me away... I won't fight for love if you won't meet me halfway... And I say that I'm through but this song is still for you... All I want is love that lasts.... Is all I want too much to ask?... Is it something wrong with me?... All I want is a good guy... Are my expectations far too high?... Try my best but what can I say?... All I have is myself at the end of the day... But shouldn't that be enough for me?......''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Wowzie up to 4! Here was an action-packed part! There was angst and softness and sweetness and tenderness and- you get the point xx Heart and comment what you think lovelies xx And please let me know if you guys are liking this, if not I'll stop writing parts xo

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

The Girl in The Blue Dress

Chapter 5: A New Lifetime

@megatraven hehe kinda angst but also fluff sorta hehe >:)

And I can now give the description lol.

Story description: A girl named Rose is the kindest girl around. However, once she gets cursed, she is forced to die and live over and over again, always facing a fate that was cruel. She fell in love with a god and he fell in love with her. Will he be able to end the curse? Will he be able to ever save her from her fate? Or will their love be cursed forever?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She looked around in the darkness but couldn’t see anything. Her breath was increasing and she was panicking. Did she die? Is she passed out? What’s happening? All these questions echoed in her head, until she heard a voice call out.

“Yes. You’re dead,” a little girls voice spoke. She thought it was her sisters at first, but no it wasn’t. It was a little bit lighter than her sisters and it felt more...sinister.

“Who’s there? Where am I?”

“You’re in the inbetween, silly!”

Suddenly, a little girl appeared in front of Rose. She had pink hair that was in pigtails, a dark purple dress, dress shoes on, black leggings, and lace, black gloves on. Rose would find her adorable if she wasn’t confused and scared.

“The inbetween? Why haven’t I passed on yet?”

“I’m holding you back,” the girl said with a laugh. “You see, that man you denied all those years ago, was little ol’ me! But just in a different ‘disguise’.”

Rose felt like her head was spinning from everything going on. First, she was killed by her boyfriend. Second, she was in the inbetween, and now some girl was saying she was stuck.

“Why won’t you let me go? All I did was not show you around!”

“If I don’t get my way, then people suffer. It’s a little fun to me,” the girl said with a laugh. She was twirling her hair around her finger. “It’s just the way the world works, ya know?”

“No! That’s not how it works! People should-”

“‘People should be kind to one another’.Blah, blah, blah,” the girl said in a mocking tone. “I get the whole speech, but I don’t care. However, I did give you a little blessing. You’re not the only one that has a curse!” Rose felt her breath catch and her anger rise.

“Did you kill my sister?!”

“Duh! But she’s not the one cursed. It’s you and dear old mommy.” The girl turned around and began walking around in the darkness, her voice still echoing loudly. “Whenever you reincarnate, your mother will be with you. I gave you that little blessing.”

“Are you the one that made Caleb kill me?!”

“The thing about Caleb is that he would’ve cheated on you without the curse. However, I did convince him to kill you. Just a few words, some bribes, and he was willing to do it.” The Girl sounded so nonchalant and as if she was talking about the weather.

“But now no more talking! It’s time for you to go to sleep.” The girl had a sinister smile on her face as she waved a hand towards Rose.

“No! Please!” Rose shouted but her vision slowly turned white and she didn’t remember a thing.

.

.

“Mortals are a dime a dozen,” said Hades to Apollo. Once Apollo found out Rose died, he felt numb. He didn’t feel the same anymore. He didn’t have that smile to cheer him up, he didn’t have those words of encouragement when he played anymore, and he couldn’t see that beautiful face anymore. It hurt deep and he didn’t know what to do. The rest of the gods and goddesses found out about Rose and decided to overlook it this one time. They decided to leave everyone alone and let time pass.

The only goddess or god that felt sympathy for him, was Aphrodite. She was the goddess of Love and knew his pain. She could just sense it and she knew he truly loved Rose. However, she knew his feelings more than he did. Did he love Rose? Yes, absolutely. But he thought it was just best friends love, but it wasn’t. He always pushed those romantic feelings to the back of his mind because he didn’t want to ruin things with Rose, but he felt them and they were there, and now to see her dead made his heart crumble into pieces. Aphrodite comforted him the best she could, but the only thing that would make him feel better was Rose.

He felt tempted to ask Hades to bring her back, but he knew he couldn’t, and he knew Hades would say no. It wasn’t allowed. He hated that rule but he also sorta understood why.

And what made Roses death worse was the fact that her mother followed soon after. She died out of nowhere, and he didn’t know if it was his fault or not.

And in Rose and her family’s memory, he continued to play at that river. He played Roses favorite song and the song he played in front of everyone. The time he was brave and did something for Rose and for himself. He visited the town as well. He visited Roses friends and helped them the best he could. He loved when they talked about Rose and her family to help keep their memory alive. He even played for the people sometimes and he wrote songs in Roses memory. He truly loved her and would continue to love her for as long as he lived.

.

.

.

Catherine opened her eyes to face the new day. She had her black hair in a ponytail and decided to take it out. She shook her head a little to to get it all out and ready to brush. She brushed her hair and got ready to go into the kitchen where her mother was. Her mother always made her breakfast and treated her like a princess. She did this because it was make up for the fact that she couldn’t go outside often.

She couldn’t go outside because she was sick. Time was always ticking for humans and people, but hers was ticking faster and had a shorter time limit. However, her mother believed she could stop it somehow or make it last longer by protecting her daughter from the outside. But this protecting made her daughter only want to go outside more. She loved looking outside and seeing the trees and her mother would bring her flowers so she could make them into flower crowns. It was a lovely thing she did almost everyday, and some of the kids would come over. However, some of them made fun of her because of her disease. She ignored them and treated them with kindness.

So sometimes when she could go outside, she took advantage of everything. She’d talk to everyone she could, visit the markets and say hello to everyone, play with the kids that would let her, and would have just a lovely day. And one day turned out to be one of the best days of her and someone else’s life.

She was in the market with her mother and was standing beside her. Her mother was ordering some fruits for her and Catherine. Catherine was looking around the market, taking in all the sites. It was a beautiful day and she loved it. However, her train of thought was broken when she saw a man carrying 3 big boxes. They were filled of fruit and vegetables. She wondered if he needed help, so she pulled on her mothers sleeve and asked if she could help the man. Her mother told her to be careful but that she could help him. Catherine ran excitedly over to the man and looked at him with a smile.

“Hey, can I help you?” She May have been 12 years old, but she was strong. The man put the boxes down and looked at her. As he looked her in the eyes, his heart dropped in a good way. He sensed it, he knew it. It was Rose again, and Apollo had finally found her. He wasn’t necessarily searching for her, but to find her felt like destiny. Once he realized he was staring, he stuttered out, “Sure.”

Catherine let out a little laugh and picked up one of the boxes. “Can you carry those two? If not, I can carry one more.”

“Nah, I got them, sweetie,” he said as he ruffled her hair. He picked up the two boxes and they were off to a stall in the market. It wasn’t too far away from her mother, so Catherine felt safe. They reached the stall and put the boxes down and Catherine let out a sigh.

“There we go! Do you need me to do anything else?” Catherine looked at him with a little smile on her face. This was definitely Rose.

“Well, can I know your name?”

“Of course! It’s Catherine! And yours?”

“It’s Apollo,” he said with a little chuckle.

“That’s a nice name, Apollo! Well, I gotta get going. Mommas probably gonna take me home since I’m not supposed to be outside for long.” Catherine’s face turned to sadness and Apollo was a little confused.

“You’re not supposed to be outside for too long? What do you mean?”

Catherine looked down at the ground and messed with her fingers as she talked. “I’m sick and I cannot be outside for too long. It’ll risk me.”

Apollo felt crushed. She was born again but only to be born sick and her life might be short, so he told himself he’d be in her life as long as he could.

“Catherine!” Her mother called out, and Catherine let out a noise of surprise.

“Alright! I gotta go! See ya later, Apollo!”

Catherine left to go and join her mother. Her mother ruffled her hair and kissed the top of her head. They left and headed for their home.

.

.

Once again, Catherine was finally out of the house. She was in the market ready to buy some vegetables and other things for her mother. She looked around to find the right vendor and saw Apollo again. She gasped in excitement and walked over to his part of the market. He noticed her immediately and smiled at her.

“Good morning, Catherine.”

“Good morning, Apollo!” Catherine looked at all of the stuff he had and decided to buy some oranges, apples, and strawberries. He put them all in a bag and she payed for them with a smile.

“How are you feeling today, Miss Catherine?”

Catherine put on a thinking face. “Well, I’m okay I guess. I’m hurting a little but it’s okay!”

Apollo’s heart ached for her. She was in pain but dealt with it with a smile on her face.

He ruffled her hair and wished her a good day.

.

.

.

A few days later, he was in the market but was surrounded by little kids. He talked to many of the other people in the market and found out that their kids liked music. However, many of them didn’t have much talent with instruments to play for each other. After that, he remembered his harp and decided to step in and offer to play with them. He saw many of the adults eyes light up at the offer. They agreed and he decided to play for them to next day. Many of them were small kids, so some of them tried to grab the Harp. He was a little scared of them trying to break it, but he gave them turns to hold it and pluck a string.

He learned that he liked it when other people enjoyed playing as well, so he helped them learn a little bit. Then one day, he heard a familiar voice.

“Can I try and play?” Catherine was wearing a blue dress, some sandals, and her hair was in a ponytail again. He looked at her and smiled.

“Sure. Just be careful, alright?”

“I know, Apollo. I never am rough with other people’s things!” She smiled as she took the harp and plucked some of the strings. It was as if she has played the harp before. The thing that made him smile even brighter was the fact that the notes she was playing, was the beginning of the song she loved. She somehow still remembered it without knowing it. Once she felt like she was done, she gave the harp back.

“Thanks for letting me play! It was really fun, but I wanna hear you play some more.”

He nodded and heard many of the other kids let out “yeah”s and noises of excitement. Catherine sat with the kids and smiled as she listened to him play her favorite song from all those years ago.

Hehe just a little bit of fluff and not much angst >:)

[animeniacss]

6 Years - Hoseok x Reader - Chapter 9 - The Flu Hits Home

Synopsis: 6 years. That’s all it can take to take another look at someone and see that they have completely changed. You were once an eager 20-year-old, with your dreams all in view, and Jung Hoseok at your side to view them with you. However, after a break up the end of your junior year of college, everything seemed different. Now, you’re a recently divorced single mother of two, and your life is nowhere near what you thought it would be. However, after reuniting with Jung Hoseok, you may just be able to capture a little bit of that exciting youth you once knew so long ago.

Feat. BTS Members, Nayeon (TWICE), and Yuna (itzy)

Genre: Romance, SingleMother!AU, Past Relationship, Drama, Some Depictions of Violence/Domestic Abuse

Length: approx. 4.9k words

Chapter 9 - The Flu Hits Home

As you stood beside the counter, running a hand through your hair, you could faintly hear Hoseok reading to the girls. Hearing his high-pitched voice as he read the story, it really made you smile. You were so glad that Hoseok had no problem reading to them. Curiosity got the better of you after a few more minutes, you walked towards the bedroom. The door was opened slightly, allowing you to get a glimpse of Min Ja’s bed.

           Hoseok was sitting with his back against the wall, book in his hands. Min Ja was sitting beside him, snug under her pink covers. Grinning, she watched as he turned the pages. Hyo Bin was on the other side of him, her eyes mostly closed. She was probably very close to falling asleep as she rested on his chest. Hoseok was beaming as he read the story, Min Ja copying all his wild noises and voices.

           “And then, the little girl ran alllllll the way through the forest with the magic jewel.” Hoseok beamed, pointing to the little girl on one page. “See? Look…. weeeee.” He traced his finger along the trail, and Min Ja stuck her finger out to do the same, giggling as they both made the noise together, quiet enough to not wake Hyo Bin up. “Where’s she going?”

           “She’s going to the castle.” Min Ja pointed out. “But I can’t tell you why because you have to read it.”

           “Oh, okay.” Hoseok chuckled a bit, turning the page. Resting against the door frame, you watched Hoseok finish the story about a princess who saved the world. Min Ja was getting sleepier and sleepier with every turning page, rubbing her eyes and yawning as she rested against Hoseok to listen to him read it. When he noticed she was getting sleepier, his voices toned down just a bit. “Wow, that was good, huh?” He asked, closing the finished storybook.

           “Mhm…” Min Ja nodded, rubbing her eyes.

           “Are you tired now?”

           “No. You have to read another one.” You murmured. Hoseok chuckled.

           “Min Ja, it’s time to go to sleep. Mr. Hobi read you a story already…” You finally cut in, walking towards the bed. You took Hyo Bin into your arms, not waking her up as she curled into your touch.

           “Mr. Hobi?” Min Ja began, yawning as she watched Hoseok get up off the bed. “Can you read more stories soon?”

           “Of course, I can.” He said cheerfully, watching you set Hyo Bin into her bed and tucking her under the covers. “But it’s time to sleep now, alright?”

           “Kay…” she pouted, nuzzling under her covers. You walked over, fixing her blankets before planting a small kiss on her forehead. Min Ja’s big eyes closed after a few moments, and it wasn’t long before the room was filled with only the sounds of faint snoring. Turning to Hoseok, you motioned for him to quietly exit the room, closing the door behind you.

           “I appreciate that…” you said softly as the two of you returned to the living room.

           “It was fun.” He said happily. “But it’s been a long day, I’m exhausted.” He admitted, letting out an exhausted sighed. “Taking care of two girls for a whole day is crazy.”

           “Please, tell me more about it.” You teased sarcastically, crossing your arms. Hoseok grinned a bit as you led him to the door. He slid on his shoes, grabbed his belongings, and turned to you.

           “I hope you had a good time today.” He said sweetly.

           “I had a lot of fun. I appreciate you taking us out like this.”

           “Of course. Like I said, I wanted to help de-stress you guys. Did it work?”

           “Well, my back still hurts, I’m starting to see double, and I really want a drink. So, not much has changed.” You replied, a grin forming on your face. “But I did get that amazing video of you being terrified by that snake.”

           “Aaaaaaah…” Hoseok groaned. “I cannot believe you got that on video. You do realize how long that thing was, right?”

           “Yeah. That made it even funnier. I think it was trying to play with you.”

           “Well, I wasn’t interested.” Hoseok huffed. You laughed again as the memory flashed through your mind. As you stopped yourself from laughing, you glanced up at Hoseok again. You felt so calm, which was what Hoseok was trying to have happened. Sure, any day dragging around two children under five would leave any sane person exhausted, but internally, you felt so calm and so relieved that you got to spend a day just enjoying yourself instead of stressing out over the thought of Weong-Bin and his idiocy. When was the last time you felt that way? You had no idea. Without thinking, you took a step closer to Hoseok, and he blinked. “Hm?”

           “Hey…weird request…but can I have a hug?” Without hesitation, Hoseok grinned and opened up his arms.

           “Of course.” He said, practically beaming. Almost immediately, you latched yourself onto him, your hands wrapping around his torso. He was so warm, and you couldn’t help but nuzzle your head into his chest. You could hear him chuckle as his arms wrapped around you. “Not that I mind, but any particular reason?”

           “Your hugs always made me feel better, that’s all.”

           “So, I could have saved a whole days’ worth of won today if I had just given you a hug?” He teased. You both let out a small laugh, and you only hugged him tighter. “I’m kidding.”

           “I know.” You said. “Thank you for today.”

           “Ahh, don’t mention it.” He repeated again. “I like spending time with you.”

           “I hope we get to do more stuff like this.”

           “Just let me know when you’re free and we can work it out.” He said simply. You sighed, closing your eyes as you just allowed this tight hug to envelop your entire body. “…Is there anything else bothering you?” He asked curiously.

           “Other then the ex-husband stuff? No.” you admitted. “Everything that comes and goes in my mind kind of falls back onto that.”

“Ah…”

You were silent for a moment. There was a wave of emotions hitting you right now, some that were good, and others that you would rather go away and never come back. After that moment passed, you let out a deep, almost frustrated sigh. “Damn you’re so comfy.” You pouted. Hoseok chuckled a bit, resting his chin on top of your head.

           “Thank you.” He said softly. “I’ll wait here for a few more minutes until you’re ready to let go.” You nodded, your hands gripping onto the back of his shirt. At this moment, you felt that if you let him go now, you may never get him back. It felt silly to think such a thing, that much you knew, but still. Being in this moment made you feel safe and content, and you didn’t want that moment to leave you.

           “Okay…” you said softly, finally pulling back from the hug. “I’ll let you get going.” Hoseok nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets, allowing only the thumbs to poke out. “Get home safe.”

           “I will.” He said happily. Nodding, you waved him off as he headed towards the elevator. Slowly closing and locking the door, you took a deep breath of air into your lungs, held it for a moment, and exhaled it out into the air. You always knew deep down, even when you were married, that the way you felt for Hoseok had never truly left you. It wasn’t something you ever spoke about, but you knew it was true. Maybe that was why Weong-Bin didn’t even like the guy. You knew him in college, and he was well aware of your relationship with Hoseok from beginning to end. Feeling your mind begin to race with different thoughts and feelings, you knew it was time to go to bed.

---

           Sunday was a good day too, another one that you had off. You spent the time with the girls in the apartment, giving the family a chance to sleep in before getting up and spending as much time as you could coloring, watching TV, or just playing some games. Time to just have a lazy day with the girls did not come around often, but you were so happy when it did. The three of you were sitting around the kitchen table, just after lunch, coloring. Min Ja was drawing pictures of the zoo to show to her daycare friends the next day, and Hyo Bin was scribbling. Well, sort of. She had woken up crankier than usual, but you assumed she was still lethargic from the day prior and needed more time to sleep. However, she was absolutely refusing to be put down for a nap. You were unsure why, you could see that she was tired, but every time you tried to put her into bed, she would kick and scream and cry, begging to be picked up again. It was odd, but you tried to push it off as a rough day, one that would balance itself out as the hours passed.

           It didn’t though. Instead, it only got worse. As Sunday turned to Monday, you found Hyo Bin only getting fussier and more difficult with every passing hour. It got to the point where she refused to eat. Anything that was put near her the mouth was quickly rejected and met with a fit of whimpers and sobs instead. You had no idea what to do. Trying to think of something quick, you gave her some children’s medicine, one that induced some drowsiness, and put her to bed early.

           “Mommy, what’s wrong with Hyo Bin?” Min Ja asked curiously as she watched you exit your daughter’s room. You sighed.

           “I don’t know. Maybe she’s getting sick.” You admitted.

           “Oh…” She nodded.

           “Yeah. So how about you sleep in my bed with me tonight? Just so we don’t get sick too.” Min Ja’s eyes sparkled, and she nodded eagerly.

           “Okay!” She said happily. You helped her get ready for bed, and the two of you spent the next little while snuggled under your covers with the TV on. Nothing much for kids was on at this hour, just a few different cartoons and game shows that kept Min Ja giggling at chatting for an extra hour. It wasn’t too much longer before the sound of the TV lulled Min Ja to sleep, and you turned it off. Hoping that whatever was bothering Hyo Bin would pass, you found yourself unable to sleep, anticipating the worst.

           Unfortunately for you, just as you were about to go to sleep, your mind trying to assure itself that Hyo Bin was most likely getting a little cold and would be fine, you heard a noise coming from the girl’s bedroom off the baby monitor. The sound of whimpering, the sound of sobbing, the sound of gagging. Quickly, you shot up in your bed, the sudden shift waking Min Ja up from her slumber as you got out of bed and hurried into the bedroom.

           “Hyo Bin?” you called out, turning the light on and hurrying over to the crib. Leaning in, you got a good look at your daughter. She was pale as a ghost, her eyes heavy as if she hasn’t slept since you put her into bed. You quickly scooped her up into your arms and pressed a hand to her forehead. “Oh my God, you’re burning up.” You gasped, rubbing her back. “Okay…okay…” Hyo Bin weakly gripped onto your nightshirt, sniffling as you tried to calm her down. She was coughing and wheezing as if she was struggling to catch her breath. “Ooooh baby, okay. Let’s go take your temperature.” Heading out of the room and towards the bathroom, you passed Min Ja, who was standing at the door watching.

           “Mommy?” she called out in curiosity. When she saw you enter the bathroom, she quickly followed. “Mommy, what’s wrong?” you could hear in her voice that she was starting to get scared.

           “Nothing, Min. Go back to Mommy’s bed. Hyo Bin just isn’t feeling well.”

           “Noo…” she whimpered, eyes watering as she hid behind the bathroom door. You sighed, deciding arguing would only make things worse. You sat on the toilet, Hyo Bin in your lap as you put the thermometer in her ear. She tried to squirm a bit, but you managed to get a temperature.

           “…Oh God, 103 degrees. You sighed, holding Hyo Bin close as she continued to cough. It was deep, and you could hear the phlegm in her chest as she coughed, making her whine. “Okay…” standing up, you headed into the kitchen and attempted to find an ice pack or cooling rag to use. When you did, you placed the cold rag around her neck and heard her let out a deep sigh. “There you go, better, huh?” you smiled softly, rubbing her back.

           “Mamaaaa…” she sobbed, sniffling. You tried to soothe her as you thought about how you needed to take off work for god knows how long, and somehow get Min Ja to go to daycare without causing too much of a fuss.

           “I know, sweetie. We’re going to go see Doctor Park tomorrow, yeah?” You hummed softly, kissing her forehead. You continued trying to soother her back to sleep, but there was no way it was going to happen. Checking the time, you saw it was 1 that next morning, and you needed to get Min Ja to sleep so she wouldn’t be tired the next day. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You led the girls back inside, having Min Ja get into bed with the promise that you would stay in there with Hyo Bin. You made sure to keep your distance, grabbing a mask from the bathroom and using it to cover Hyo Bin’s mouth in case she coughed anymore. “Min Ja, you need to go to bed.” You said softly, watching your daughter toss and turn in her sleep.

           “I don’t wanna.” She pouted. “I wanna stay with you and Hyo Bin.”

           “If you don’t rest, you’ll get sick too.” You pleaded. “I promise, I’ll be right here.” Hyo Bin let out a few more coughs into her mask and you rubbed her back. “Please, Min….” Min Ja pouted, nuzzling her head into the pillow as she pulled the blanket over herself. You watched her eyes stare at you for what felt like forever, but the darkness of the room and the silence caused exhaustion to overcome her, and she was soon fast asleep. With that settled, you walked back out into the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs, Hyo Bin in your arms as you tried to get her to sleep next. She was much more of a challenge, sobbing and fussing the entire time. Every moment that she seemed she would be falling asleep; a deep cough would hit and startle her back awake. You knew that there was no way you were getting any sleep.

           The next morning, you woke up to the sound of your alarm blaring from your bedroom. You had fallen asleep on the couch with Hyo Bin on your chest only an hour ago, but it felt like five minutes. Groaning, you got up, carrying Hyo Bin in your arms. She was still sleeping soundly, and you took her to her room, placing her in her crib so that you could go get Min Ja ready.

           “I don’t wanna go to daycare, I wanna stay home!” Min Ja begged, trying to stop you from getting her dressed.

           “Sweetie, please.” You begged. “I need to take Hyo Bin to the doctor and if you’re to close, then you’ll get sick too. I can’t have two sick babies, now can I?” You asked. Min Ja felt her eyes start to water, and she quickly hugged you. “Min Ja…” you sighed softly, holding her close to you. “Hyo Bin will be okay.” You said. “I promise. I’ll pick you up early. I just need to take her to the doctor…”

           “Okay…” she sniffled.

           “Besides, don’t you want to tell the kids all about the zoo?” you asked curiously. Min Ja nodded. “I’ll send Miss Yun Yun the pictures while we wait for the doctor, I promise.” Min Ja sniffled, wiping her eyes dry. “Okay, good. Now, to call out of work.”

           When you called, you got Jungkook on the phone. Explaining the situation, he said that today looked like it was going to be slow, since not that many appointments were scheduled. It almost made him laugh when you asked to make an appointment for Hyo Bin as early as possible, and he managed to get you in first. Relief washed over you knowing that the staff insisted you take as much time as needed. With everything settled and prepared, you threw on a pair of stretch pants and a tee-shirt before whisking your kids out the door.

           After dropping Min Ja off at the daycare, and having another mini battle wither about going, you were on the next train to the doctor’s office. Hyo Bin had woken up by now and still had a deep cough, making you keep your distance from everyone else on the train. While you were glad that she began to show symptoms earlier rather than later, you knew that by the severity of the symptoms that you were going to be out of work for a few more days.

---

           “Alright, come on in.” Dr. Park called, smiling as you entered the waiting room. “Much different seeing you here without scrubs on.” He teased, making you chuckle.

           “I know, I’m sorry it was so last minute.”

           “Oh please, kid’s getting the flu is always last minute.” Once you got into the room, he began an examination of Hyo Bin. He knew all of her shots and records because he was the one to administer them to her since birth. Hyo Bin was squirming, not wanting to be touched, but being a professional, Dr. Park was able to complete the examination anyway. “Yeah, it definitely looks like the flu. She’ll be out of commission for a year the next four days.”

           “Christ, I don’t have anyone to babysit her.”

           “Don’t worry.” He assured. “You’ve racked up a lot of time off. Use it, stay with her.”

           “But who will you get?”

           “Actually, Seokjin was asking about taking a few hours here and there for some extra cash. I’ll call him and see if he can take over your shift at all.” You sighed in relief, though finding this out was new information. “I’ll go make that call and write her a prescription. You’ll be out of here in no time.”

           “Thanks.” You said softly, smiling as you watched him walk out. Moments later, there was a knock at the door again, and Jungkook stepped in.

           “Hey.” He smiled. “How is she?”

           “Flu.” You sighed. “I won’t be here for a while. Dr. Park said Seokjin might be able to take my hours for the next few days.” Jungkook grinned. He had always liked Seokjin, since Seokjin trained him when he first got hired. Jungkook saw Hyo Bin resting against your chest, hiding her face as she coughed into her little mask. When Dr. Park returned with the prescription and also confirming that Seokjin would be working those hours, you hummed and left with a thank you.

           On the train ride back home, you called in the prescription and then phoned Seokjin. It rang for a moment, but then he answered.

           “Heeeello~? World Wide Handsome speaking.” You heard him say. It’s been a while since you really got to speak to him.

           “Hey.” You hummed. “Dr. Park told me you’re taking hours again at the office. Is work not going well?”

           “Hm? Oh no. Work is going wonderful! But you would know if you came to see me.” He huffed playfully, and you chuckled. “But I only work four days a week at night. I need more money, so I called and asked if I could work a few hours here and there at the office in the mornings.” He explained. “And my first day back, I’m taking over for you? Lucky meeeee.” You chuckled a bit. You could hear him set you on speakerphone, most likely to get himself ready to hop on the next train to the office.

           “Well I’ll let you go get ready.” You hummed. “I’m going home to sleep, I’m exhausted.”

           “You sound it.” Seokjin teased, laughing a bit. “But I hope Hyo Bin gets better.”  

           “Thanks.” You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone. Hyo Bin was sound asleep the entire train ride home, thank god. You made sure to stop and pick up her medicine, along with a few home remedies from the local pharmacy, before taking Hyo Bin home. She slept soundly in her bed, the medicine coursing through her little body, and you collapsed on the couch not long after her. You were exhausted, only running on about 3 hours of sleep, if even that. It wasn’t long before sleep overtook you as well, and the apartment was silent.

           You slept for what felt like forever, but it was only for a few hours, before Hyo Bin stirred from her sleep and began coughing. Forcing yourself out of your seat, you headed into the bedroom. It had been almost 12 hours since your daughter had really eaten anything of substance, so that was the next thing to accomplish on your list.

           Hyo Bin was a lot easier to feed than she has been over the past few days. She took some scrambled eggs and juice without much fuss, and you could see how relaxed and calmer she looked now that she was eating. It calmed you down too, and though her coughing was still horribly deep, and she was still warm, you were glad she was eating again.

           “Feel better?” you hummed, smiling as Hyo Bin nodded. “Let’s go inside…” You found yourself sitting on the couch, your muscles relaxing as you turned on the TV. Hyo Bin lied on the couch, and you put a blanket over her before turning to her favorite channel. Time passed idly, the noise from the TV keeping Hyo Bin occupied as she drifted in and out of sleep. You took this newfound time to do some house cleaning. Dishes were finally removed from the dishwasher, you got to clean the counters, clean up the girl’s rooms, and do some laundry. It was exhausting, but if you didn’t do it now, it would never get done. You made sure to watch Hyo Bin closely, checking up on here every once in a while, as she slept on the couch. Once the bedroom was cleaned, you transferred your sleeping toddler into bed, turning on some soft music in hopes of keeping her to sleep with the gentle noise. It was just as you were heading inside to get some lunch for yourself when your phone began to ring. “Hm?”

           Pulling your phone from your back pocket, you saw that Hobi was calling you. You had changed his contact photo to a picture of him with the girls that you had taken at the zoo. He was sitting beside Min Ja with Hyo Bin on his lap, the selfie angled up to get all three of them in it. Min Ja was throwing up a peace sign with Hoseok, and Hyo Bin was holding her bag of popcorn in her hands. It was a cute picture. Smiling, you quickly answered.

           “Hey.” You said happily.

           “Hey.” He hummed happily. “I hope I’m not bothering you. Are you at work?”

           “No, not today.” You sighed. “Hyo Bin must have gotten sick at the zoo. She’s got a massive fever and hasn’t really been eating too much all day.” Hoseok let out a deep, sympathetic sigh.

           “Aww, man. That’s rough. I hope she gets better soon.”

           “Thank you. She’s sleeping now. Hopefully, the medicine will break the fever in a few days…” you let out a deep sigh. “Are you working today?”

           “Sort of. Jimin and I have started some auditions for the upcoming year. We start in about 20 minutes, so I thought I would just call and see how you were doing.” You couldn’t help but smile at the idea that you were first on Hoseok’s mind more and more with each passing day.

           “I hope that goes well.” You said. “Are you still just focusing on the studio's hip hop class?”

           “Yeah. Jimin said depending on who auditions, we might expand and add a few more classes for a few different ages.”

           “That’s wonderful.” You said happily. “I told you it would happen.” Hoseok chuckled. “Well, I’ll let you go. Let me know how auditions go, okay?”

           “I will.” He said. “And tell Hyo Bin to get better soon.”

           “Will do.”

           “Mostly because as soon as she’s better, I was hoping that you and I can get dinner again.” Hearing that made another smile grace your lips. “I know it’s something we’ve been talking about for a while.”

           “Yeah. That actually sounds really nice.” You said happily. “A friend of mine has been pestering me for months to come to see him at the restaurant he works at.” Hoseok chuckled a bit.

           “That sounds perfect. We’ll start making plans once Hyo Bin is feeling better again.”

           “Alright, sounds good.” You hummed. “I should get going, though.”

           “Absolutely. I’ll let you go.” Hoseok said. “Bye~.”

           “Bye.” You hung up and set your phone back in your pocket, biting your lip at the thought of going out to dinner with Hoseok again. It had been a while since both of you had alone time with one another, and it was something you were missing. So, you were hoping that Hyo Bin would get better as soon as possible, for both your sakes.

           Hyo Bin slept soundly until you had to go get Min Ja from daycare. You felt bad that you had promised to pick her up early, but after cleaning the house and trying to get things ready, you realized that more time had passed than you wanted to. Luckily, Min Ja didn’t really seem to notice. You had sent over the pictures of the zoo, and Min Ja spent the entire day talking about her experiences petting the alpacas, seeing the bears, and even tried to tell the story about the giant snake that terrified Hoseok and Hyo Bin. She even showed her red panda stuffed animal to her friends, which you brought with you upon picking her up.

           “Everyone said they liked my pictures, Mommy.” Min Ja beamed happily as you brought her back into the house.

           “That’s great, sweetie.” You said happily. “I told you everyone would enjoy it.”

           “Is Hyo Bin feeling better?” she asked curiously, looking up to see her sleeping sister in your arms.

           “She’s doing better.” You said happily. “But she needs to take medicine. Her shot didn’t work and she got the flu.”

           “Oh…” Min Ja said softly.

           Upon entering the house, you got Hyo Bin into bed and put the TV on for Min Ja before starting on dinner. Surprisingly, when you served the simple meal to your daughters, Hyo Bin was taking the food down without issue again. You were glad to see that she was eating, and hoping that it was a sign of her quick recovery.

           The girls went to bed early that night, you gave them a quick bath and managed to read one story before the girls were out like a light. With a kiss to their foreheads and a firm tuck into bed, you headed into your room and threw on a pair of freshly cleaned pajamas.

           “God, what a day…” you mumbled, curling up in bed and putting a pillow over your face. You tried to take solace in the idea that once Hyo Bin was feeling better, you would be getting yourself ready for another dinner date with Hoseok. That made you excited, and it made you motivated. Thoughts of that day helped you relax enough to fall asleep.

           You had slept for about 3 hours, before the sound of feet rushing into your room startled you awake. Sitting up, you saw Min Ja standing at the end of your bed. Turning on the light, you saw Min Ja looked frantic, eyes wide.

           “Min Ja? What’s wrong?!” You gasped.

           “Hyo Bin is coughing super loud, Mommy…I think she’s throwing up.” Min Ja said. Almost immediately, you jumped up and hurried into the bedroom, the sound of your daughter gagging, coughing and sobbing just as she was the previous night. Upon entering the room, you saw Hyo Bin standing up in her bed, face pale as she was covering her mouth.

           “Hyo Bin.” You hummed, scooping her up in your arms. She clung to you as you led her into the bathroom, giving her a toilet to continue any throwing up she had to do. You sighed, rubbing her back as you tried to calm her down. Min Ja was once again standing by the door, peeking her little head in as she watched her sister sob into your arms. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Your tummy is just not ready to eat the food right now. It’s okay.” As Hyo Bin finally calmed down, her body shaking as she coughed, you let out a deep and frustrated groan.

           The flu was a bastard of an illness, and you just wished you could take the burden of this pain from her, and get rid of it faster.

Return to Masterlist

Next / Previous

[loveforpreserumsteve]

End of the Line (Pre-Serum Alpha!Steve and Pregnant Omega!Bucky Modern Bus Trip A/B/O AU)

Fifteen:

The last stretch of the trip, went off without a hitch. Naps, snacks, and a transfer. Steve and Bucky working as one, as a family, like they had from the first moment they stepped on the first bus. It had always seemed so natural for them to do so, but now it was solidified. They didn't just seem like a family, they were a family.

Long after the original schedule suggested, the bus finally pulled into the New York station. With a pup sleeping on each of their chests and their hands held together, Bucky started to cry. He couldn't believe they made it. They were finally free.

"You mind watching the kids while I pee?" Bucky asked, following Steve down the aisle of the bus.

"You know that I don't," Steve grinned over his slender shoulder at Bucky. Shifting Noah further up on his hip, Steve held his free hand out to Maisie. Gladly she took the offered hand and fondly gazed up at the petite alpha.

Before splitting to go in different directions, Bucky gave Steve a quick kiss. It was their first kiss in New York. And although Bucky wanted to stand there and put everything to memory, his bladder was in control. So, he rushed towards the restroom to relieve himself.

Once his bladder was successfully emptied, Bucky looked over his reflection as he washed his hands. The bruise around his eye was almost entirely healed, along with the bruise on his shoulder. Already, Bucky could feel his soul start to heal.

Drying his hands, Bucky couldn't help but smile as he left the bathroom. He was finally fr--

Bucky's back harshly hit the wall behind him with his head bouncing off the surface. A little dazed, it took a moment for Bucky to realize someone had shoved him against the wall. No, not someone. The tangy, bitter scent alerted Bucky as much as the painful grip on his shoulder: Brock.

"You've got some real fucking nerve," Brock sneered, getting in Bucky's face.

Frozen in his fear, Bucky squeaked, "What are you doing here?"

"What am I --" Brock clenched his jaw and pushed Bucky further into the wall. Almost like he was trying to push Bucky through the wall. "You really think that you can make it out here without me? Who's going to want an omega with three pups?"

"Me!" That red-hot cinnamon surrounded them, and oh no, oh no!

"And who the hell are --" Brock turned to find Steve standing there and immediately doubled over in his laughter. Straightening up, he looked over at Bucky as he asked, "This is the alpha you've been fucking behind my back?"

Steve clenched his jaw and held his fighting stance. Bucky's eyes roamed the area for the kids, but because Brock was still crowding him against the wall, Bucky couldn't see where the pups were. And when Brock purposely knocked Bucky's head against the wall as he demanded, "Answer me!" Well, all Bucky could do was hope that his pups were far away and safe.

"Let him go," Steve's deep voice growled.

That caused Brock to laugh again. A curt, ugly sound that made Bucky's stomach roil. Forcefully, Brock pushed against Bucky's face, turning it to expose his neck. As though he was going to bite him, and oh god, Bucky was going to be sick.

"Brock, you don't want to do this," Bucky tried to reason with the angry alpha.

"Shut up!" Brock's Voice commanded, causing Bucky's mouth to aggressively snap closed. Brock opened his mouth wide and oh god, oh god oh godohgodohgod --

Veering back, Brock touched the side of his face, where Steve had sucker punched him. Steve stepped in front of Bucky, protecting him. That pissed Brock off more than being punched. Glancing around to see that there was a crowd starting to take notice in the situation, Brock reached into his pocket and pulled out his handcuffs.

"Nothing to see here," Brock called out to the room, pulling his badge from his pocket too, "Official police business."

Some of the on-lookers averted their gaze, while others attempted to discreetly watch. Especially when Brock aggressively pushed face-first against the wall. Cuffing one hand and bringing it behind Steve's back, Brock informed, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of --"

"Brock, you can't be serious," Bucky forced out, breathing erratic as the pain consumed his back.

Giving Bucky a pointed look, Brock continued, "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney --"

"You cannot be doing this right now," Steve struggled in Brock's grasp. Since he couldn't physically remove himself from the larger alpha's strong hold, Steve decided to ask, "What are you, 'arresting,' me for?"

Brock smirked, "Assaulting a police off--"

"Papa!" Maisie yelled as she ran over to them.

Bucky took a step in her direction, but Brock grabbed onto his arm and sneered, "What the fuck?"

With Brock preoccupied with Bucky, Maisie ran up and wrapped her arms around Steve's legs. Hugging him closely as he moved away from the wall. Thankfully, Brock had been too distracted to cuff Steve's other hand, so he protectively moved Maisie until she was behind him completely.

A stronger puff of Brock's anger ballooned around them and again that Voice demanded, "Get away from him!"

Although it was very clear that Maisie didn't want to, she was unable to stay behind Steve. Folding into herself, she started backing up, sticking close to the wall. But that wasn't good enough for Brock because she started to loudly sob.

"Papa! Daddy!" Maisie cried, wanting one of them to save her since she wasn't able to save herself.

"Stop crying!" Brock fiercely growled, letting go of Bucky to grab the little girl.

Knowing that he couldn't let Brock hurt their daughter -- no, not their, his daughter. His and Steve's -- Bucky grabbed ahold of Brock and used all his strength to pull him back towards himself. Then, doing the one thing that he never did in the entire time that he had been with Brock, Bucky punched him. Punched him so hard that a loud crack could be heard. In awe of the blood that gushed from his newly broken nose.

Then, before Bucky could celebrate his triumph, a popping sensation came from inside him and a gush of fluid wet his sweats and the floor beneath him. Eyes wide, Bucky glanced down before doubling over in pain.

"Buck," Steve rushed over to him.

"I wasn't done with --"

"Fuck off," Steve interrupted, shrugging out of Brock's grasp, "He's going into labor."

Jaw clenching, Brock looked over Bucky and made an alpha command, "You are not having that baby here. You are going to get your ass in my car within the next five minutes or --"

"Sir, I'm going to need you to take a step back."

The trio looked over to find Noah standing behind a man, who was intently watching Brock. Brock scoffed, "And who the fuck are you?"

"Detective James Rhodes with the NYPD," the man introduced himself, showing his badge. "You are in direct violation of an omega's agency, and are hereby under arrest. If you'll please turn around, face the wall, and put your hands behind your back."

"I'm an officer with Phoenix PD," Brock argued, standing in his spot.

"Then, you know that you have the right to remain silent," Detective Rhodes approached Brock, putting himself between Brock and Bucky. Spotting Maisie, he bent down and comforted, "Hey, sweetie, thanks for leading me over here. You were really brave, but I’m going to need you to go over with your daddy, okay?"

Wiping her tears, Maisie nodded and hedged around Brock to get to Bucky and Steve. Brock growled, "They're my fucking kids!"

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of --"

"I know," Brock huffed against the wall as Rhodes cuffed him.

A group of security guards and police officers broke through the group and took over the situation. Bucky only eased when Brock was shoved into the back of a police cruiser. Of course, he couldn't ease too much since he was in fucking labor!