#i cannot put the pain this gave me into words

[rius-cave]

Now, I couldn't help myself. Based on the Prison Au you just posted:

Adam sighed as he woke up. Having a bruised rib meant that he was staying in the Med Room for quite some time before he would be let back out. As much pain as he was in, Adam knew it could be worse.

"Finally, caught you alone." Adam had to force himself not to jump when he heard the familiar voice of Lucifer. He turned to see the short blonde man beside him, arms crossed. He didn't look happy. Shit. How did he not see him or hear him?! He shouldn't have fallen asleep!

He remembered all the times Lucifer had emphasized that Adam shouldn't put himself in a position where he could be hurt. And Adam...had disobeyed. Lucifer could be terrifying when he was angry.

"Wait, I was just—Angel Dust was being—" Adam stumbled through his words, trying to explain why he had to protect Anthony, or Angel Dust as he called himself, but Lucifer gave him a look and Adam immediately stopped talking.

"What you did was foolish. Honestly, what were expecting? Valentino has many inmates who work for him. You wouldn't have stood a chance." Adam waited for Lucifer to do something other than talk. Was he going to have his fill? Teach him not to disobey again?

"That being said, I'm proud of you." Adam blinked. What? He looked up to see Lucifer smiling softly at him. "You stood up for someone weaker. Why wouldn't I be proud of that?" Lucifer stepped forward, close enough that Adam could smell the mint on his breath. "Now let me reward you, baby."

Lucifer gently kissed him. It was nothing like the kisses he was used to. These weren't rough or punishing. These were soft and gentle. Caring. Adam moaned when Lucifer threaded his pale fingers through his brown hair, scraping lightly over his scalp.

Lucifer smiled warmly when they finally let go for air. "My good boy. You did so good." Adam moaned at the praise and Lucifer kissed him one last time before letting Adam go.

"Rest up. I won't do anything else until you are completely healed. No bruises."

"Hu?" Adam was still dazed, horny, and his dick hurt in his pants. Lucifer just chuckled. "Why don't you take care of your problem like a good boy for Daddy? Hm?" Adam blushed heavily as Lucifer left. It took Adam an embarrassingly long time for him to realize that no medical staff or guards were in the room while Lucifer was here...

Looks like Lucifer had bribed them for some time....

AAAHHHHH ANON I TYPICALLY ASK PEOPLE NOT TO SEND ME FICLETS THROUGH MY INBOX BUT I'll make an exception for this one

That's so sweet! Hehehe I'm a big fan of leaving Adam high and dry LOL so thank you very much.

Lucifer is genuinely angry that Adam got himself hurt and did that alone, without calling him or waiting for him, but also he cannot stay mad at him for long lol specially after having his realization, and also knowing why Adam did that for

[x-abysmal-x]

So I forgot to post a piece that put me through thirteen hours of torture spanning across four days. It is a cover art for the villain route of a BATIM OC that I slapped together a few days ago. His name is Dagon. He got a little silly goofy.

[cvntluver444]

good with your hands - bbf!ellie williams

ellie williams x reader

𓆩♡𓆪 summary : after a long day of patrol, you come home sore and in pain. thankfully, your brothers best friend, ellie, can give a really good rub down!

𓆩♡𓆪 warnings : smut minors dni, reader uses she/pronouns, not proofread!!, language, sexual tension, touchinggg, dirty talk, fingering, squirting, dom!ellie, sub!reader. i think that’s it but if i missed any please let me know!

𓆩♡𓆪 a/n : i cannot thank you all enough for all the love you gave you on my first ever fic 🤍 i was so scared but omg you guys are the absolute best and i love you so much!!

request are open !! im on a writing rampage but i’m always wanting new ideas !!

🇵🇸 as always, please continue to support and spread awareness for Palestine! 🇵🇸

▹ daily click

✿⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ✿

standing for long hours of the day in the beating hot sun will never fail to make tou miserable. you groan as your muscles ache walking down the streets of jackson towards. you were looking forward to laying in your bed and finally letting yourself relax. you prepare yourself for the steps leading up to your house. each step sending an aching pain throughout your legs. you take a a couple breaths before limping towards the front door and slowly opening it.

“well don’t you look pretty” ellie smirks at you as you enter the house.

“pretty fucking gross” adds your brother, causing him and his friend to burst out in a fit of laughter. you stand there with a straight look on your face, waiting for them to finish. they sit diagonal from each other in the living room, sipping out of beer cans and passing back and forth a blunt.

“yeah you guys are really funny. i’m so happy that my pain gives you joy” you jokingly jab at the two and you slowly make your way towards the couch, plopping yourself next to ellie.

“guessing patrol was a lot of fun.” ellie’s sarcasm made you roll your eyes.

“a blast,” you say as you blow out a whistle. after a couple seconds of silence, your brother sits up quickly, suddenly realizing it was now his shift.

“shit, i gotta go now,” he hands you the blunt and you you squeal thanking him. “all yours” he says as he sprints out the door, saying his goodbyes.

“ugh, this was so much needed.” you groan, blowing out smoke and laying your head against the couch.

“yeah” ellie drags out, “you know what else is nice? those little mints you always have. got any?” she asks you.

“yes ellie, they’re in my room,” you giggle, slowly getting up off the couch, “follow me”. she lets out a quiet yess before following you up the stairs. she slows down once she notices your hard time climbing up.

“you good?” she chuckles.

“i think my body’s shutting down,” you dramatically sigh, “im so sore my patrol today.” you finally enter your room and sit down on the bed. you point to your small makeshift desk in the corner of your room, a small metal box in your eye of sight. ellie dashes over and quickly opens up the mints.

“yeah that sucks.” she pays no mind to your pain, her focus on the little candies in her hand.

“will you stop obsessing over those and help me.” you beg, laying your back down on your bed. ellie giggles and sits down next to where you’re laying.

“how about a massage? that’ll feel good.” she smirks, placing a hand on your thigh. you quickly pull back from her and furrow your eyebrows.

“i guess that would be nice. but no funny business ellie.” you tease. she throws her hands up.

“yeah yeah whatever, now take off your clothes. i’ll turn around.” her back is now facing you and she turns so quick she doesn’t have time to watch your jaw hit the floor.

“take off my clothes?” you ask, shocked.

“well, yeah. it gives it the full effect and plus it’ll make it feel 10x better.” she still faces the wall, insisting you start undressing. “just put a towel around you.” you take in her words and start to agree with her. you are in a lot of pain, and if it’ll feel better then you’ll do it.

“ok, that sounds fine. no funny business williams.” you give her a stern warning and you can just picture the smirk that’s plastered on that beautiful face.

once you were ready for ellie to turn around, you gave her the okay and saw her grab the homemade body oil you made a couple weeks ago. she turns around and her eyes land on your barely covered figure. it takes her a minute to snap back into reality, and she slowly walks toward you.

“damn babe, this shit smells good.” ellie compliments the oil as she starts to pour it over your back. your heart flutters at the nickname, and you jolt a bit feeling the liquid slowly run down your body.

she starts massaging it into your skin and you can’t help but let out a little moan, one that sends a shock to ellie’s core. “ellie you’re so good at this” you tell her with a look of pleasure on your face.

“girls love to tell me i have good hands.” she smirks, and you’re trying your hardest to hold in the moan that wants to slip out again. slowly, ellie’s hands are traveling lower, starting from your back, and jumping towards the back of your upper thighs. you feel your pussy quickly start to get wet, your juices running down onto your bed. you’re grateful the towel resting on your ass is covering well enough to block ellie’s vision from your little problem.

“you’re really tight right here,” ellie tells you as she pushes deeper into your leg. the pain and pleasure that comes with it makes your pussy clench around nothing, and it’s becoming harder to just lay here and let her touch you. “if it hurts just let me know.”

“yeah, that’s where i’m sore the most.” you grunt out, the pressure causing you to shift a little under ellie’s touch.

“ah i see,” ellie starts, “do you have pain anywhere else?” she drags her fingers up a little higher, causing your breath to hitch a bit, which ellie hears. you ears are filled with a soft and teasing chuckle. her movements don’t stop as her hand slides up higher, stopping just under where the towel begins. you’re breathing heavy now, and ellie knows what you need.

you feel her hand slowly creep up underneath the towel, fingers dancing along your skin and she finally stops right before your clit.

“els,” you breathe out. “please.”

“please what princess?” ellie teases. “what do you want me to do to you?”

“fingers in me. please.” you beg. you’ve never been this turned on by anyone in your entire life. it was like ellie knew exactly what you like and what your body craved.

you didn’t have to ask her twice. her fingers started to slowly circle around your clit, both you and ellie moaning at contact.

“look at this pretty pussy, so fucking wet from just a little massage?” she mocks you, biting her lip once she starts to pump her fingers inside. she sits next to your laying figure, slowing fucking you and watching you toss and turn under her touch. she was going so. slow.

“ellie. more, please.” you couldn’t take her teasing anymore and begged for her to do something, anything to stop this torture, and that she did.

you felt stand up and lay down next to you. she flips you over on your side so now your looking into her eyes. her arm comes around and cups your ass. she then spreads it apart and inserts two fingers in you this time. you moan out suddenly at how good it felt and fell into her chest. her fingers start to pick up the pace, and you slowly become numb.

“you’re taking my fingers so well baby. pussy squeezing me so tight, fuck.” she moans, and starts littering your face with soft kisses. she finally reaches your lips and kisses you with so much passion, your heart beats even faster.

“els, so close,” you shriek, breaking the kiss and looking into her eyes with the most innocent look on your face. it drives ellie fucking insane, and she adds another finger. your vision starts to blur as she fucks your harder and faster.

“come on baby, cum for me, cum all over my fingers i know you can do it.” she whispers dirty praises into your ears and it sends you over the edge. the knot in your stomach finally comes lose, and you feel the bed underneath you become drenched. ellie fucks you through your orgasm, not stopping until your forcing her hand away from your shaking body.

“god baby you are fucking gorgeous,” ellie tells you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “been wanted to do that since forever.” ellie smiles down at you and you tell her the same.

“how was it by the way? you feel any better?” she asks you, pulling you closer to her body. you nod your head up and down quickly, earning a small laugh out of ellie.

“you were right,” you start, finally gaining enough strength to talk after the best orgasm of you life. “you are good with your hands.”

[ragingbookdragon]

Her hand subconsciously feels to the left side of the bed, reaching out for his hip, but when her hand feels cold sheets, she sits up, eyes bleary with sleep as she looks around. He’s gone, his clothes gone from the floor, and for a moment, she feels a blistering sting in her chest when she looks at her dead husband’s photo sitting on her bedside table. What a fool, she thinks as she throws her legs over the side of the bed and grabs the robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Slipping it on, she walks into her daughter’s room and leans over the crib, ready to pick her up when her eyes widen as she stares at an empty bed. Panic floods her and she tries to calm down, thinks that JJ maybe got his sister out and put her in his bed.

She hurries to his room and opens the door, eyes bulging out of her head at this point. His Spider-Man bed is empty. Her feet carry her downstairs and in a flurry of worry, she runs around, checking the den, the dining room, the kitchen, the shed outside, there’s no sign of him or her children. Tears flood her vision as she grabs her phone inside on the bar and tries to fumble it open, only for the front door to crack open and someone start to yell, “Mummy!” Before a stern voice hushes them.

She runs to the front door and sees Simon cradling Morrigan in one arm, his other on the back of JJ’s shoulders, pushing him in the door with a quiet but firm, “Don’ wake y’er mum up.”

Her phone falls to the floor, and she runs to her children, yanking the baby from him, jostling her into a crying fit, as she wraps the other hand around JJ’s head and pulls them in for a tight grip.

“Mummy?” JJ asks, concern flooding his voice as Morrigan cries harder. “What’s wrong, mummy? Why are you crying?”

“Mummy’s not crying,” she says and shushes Morrigan until the baby is in hiccups and hands her to him. “Take Morrigan upstairs to her crib. I need to have a word with Simon.”

JJ takes the hiccuping child from her and he can’t help but say, “Mummy, Simon took us for ice cream!” She finally notices the brown stain on JJ’s pristine white shirt and the remains of chocolate around his mouth. “But Morrigan didn’t eat any. Uncle Simon gave her a bottle.”

“That’s good, baby,” she responds with a tight smile. “Take Morrigan upstairs, okay? She needs a nap.”

“Yes, mummy.”

He leaves and she stands, whirling on him, and he can tell he just lit a Roman candle the size of a mortar. “Love,” he starts, and she cuts him off with a swift and crisp slap that sends his face snapping to the side.

“You cannot just take my children without telling me!” She all but yells. “Letting you in my home is one thing but my children! Don’t you ever take my children out without waking me ever again!”

“Love,” he calms, not bothering to massage the stinging in his face. “I ‘ad everythin’ under control.”

She feels the storm brew in her throat, the tears in her eyes. “My children. My babies. His—our children.”

Simon reaches up, takes her face in his hands. “Look at me,” he says. “You were asleep. Peacefully. You were tired. You ‘ave been so tired. So exhausted from everything. I didn’ want to wake you.” He looks at her. “I took them out for some ice-cream so you could ‘ave a restful sleep with no one to bother you.”

Tears spill over and she manages to muster, “No one is going to hurt my children.”

He stares at her, copper eyes boring in hers as he promises, “Love, I would never hurt your children. I would never let anyone hurt your children.” He holds her firm in his hands, eyes ever-strong. “I would never let anyone hurt them. Or you.”

“They’re all I have left,” she cries. “My babies.”

“I know,” he says softly, brushing a hand over her cheek. “And I would die a thousand times before I ever let anyone hurt them.” He leans down and presses his forehead to hers. “Love, I would never hurt them.”

She feels the tears drip down her face as the pain in her chest begins to subside. “I woke up and you were gone. They were gone. I…I feared the worst. That he’d gotten them. That they’d taken you all.”

“No one is going to take us,” he murmurs, shutting his eyes. “I swear to you. No one is going to take us.”

Her hands clench in his hoodie. “You were gone.”

“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry, I shoulda left a note. I jus’ didn’ think you’d wake up ‘fore we got back.” He pulls away and cups her cheek again. “Love, you’ve been so tired. I jus’ wanted you to rest.”

“I know,” she agrees, even as he wipes her tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I slapped you, I’m so sorry,” she cries again.

He snorts and kisses her cheek. “Soap teach you to ‘it that ‘ard?” A surprised laugh bubbles out of her, and she can’t help but smile as the tears fall. “There’s tha’ smile,” he cooes and kisses her forehead. “God, I love tha’ smile.”

Her cheeks get hot and she reaches up, wiping her face. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, love,” he shakes off. “Don’t be. I’d react the same if I were you.” He takes her hand and kisses it. “Go check on them, yeah? I’ll make you something to eat.”

She nods and turns, pausing at the staircase and looks at him. “I thought you left me this morning,” her voice is soft, just short of broken.

He looks back at her, takes off the face mask he always wears in public and affirms, “Never.”

[thesilmarillionblog]

ANOTHER LIFE

Summary: You find out that you're pregnant with Soldier Boy’s child, but knowing what Butcher’s wife has been through and that you won’t make it like her, he doesn’t want you to keep it. You try to convince him that you’ll be okay, but you need to face what’s to come.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: +18 (MINORS DNI), angst, hurtful, language, pregnancy, threat, pregnant sex, blood, mention of abortion, mention of death, angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 5807

A/N: English is not my first language.

With a bashful smile on your lips, you looked at Ben, whose eyes were locked on the positive result, while you joyfully looked at the pregnancy test with your hands stopped on your tummy. Since you were already married and had been living together for a while, you were confident that this news would strengthen your bond even more.

He merely stated, “We are not keeping it,” glaring at you and clenching his jaw when he saw your hands halt on your tummy. “I'll find a doctor for the abortion.”

You stood up, gently inquired, “Why?” and put your hand on his arms to stop him before he could leave the room.

You didn't understand why he was acting this way at all, because you knew he had always wanted to start a family. Right now, you ought to be enjoying the news.

Your touch tightened his muscles, and he took a deep breath. In an attempt to ease him up, you stroked his cheek, but it felt as though he was building barriers between you, just as on the day of your first meeting.

“We already know Butcher's wife's fate, don't we? You wouldn't survive such a thing.”

You smiled at him a little, realizing that he wasn't against the baby; rather, he was only worried about you. He was upset by your ease with the issue, though, as he could see that you didn't give a damn about what he said.

“Becca did not pass away during childbirth.” You attempted to comfort him. “For me, it won't be any different with good doctors.”

You glanced at him, hoping that, for the moment at least, he wouldn't be obstinate about this and would instead trust you.

"Are you even aware of what you're saying?" He questioned you in a disapproving tone, pushed your hands away from his face, and spoke out. "Just because she made it through doesn't imply you will too. What will happen, do you know? You'll be torn apart, limb by limb, by this nasty beast. You will fucking die and suffer.”

You said to him, “Ben,” in an attempt to soothe him. You gave him a hug, despite the way he shoved your hands away. “Together, we've overcome many obstacles and established a family of our own. Despite what we've been told, there was no possibility that I would become pregnant.” You squeezed his hands and remarked, “This baby is a gift.”

“A gift? It is a fucking punishment and a fucking pain on my ass already,” he grunted and hugged you back tightly.

“Stop calling the baby 'it',” you snapped out of nowhere. “Why are you being like this?”

“It is just an annoying fetus, a virus, not a baby,” he said harshly, looking at your stomach with irritation as if you were sick. “You’re going to get an abortion.”

You pushed him away from you, tears welling up in your eyes, and he withdrew his hands. You had doubts about whether he would ever reconsider.

“I won’t, Ben,” you said firmly. “I won’t just fucking murder my child. You cannot force me to do such a thing."

“You won’t murder it, but it fucking will murder you,” he yelled at you suddenly.

You took a step back, your lips parted in shock at the expression on his face. He hadn't yelled at you in such a furious manner in a very long time. You put your hands on your tummy as if he would hurt you.

His attitude toward you and the baby was crushing your heart, so you sat down on the bed. How could you even kill your own child by going under the knife because Ben believed you wouldn't survive? You were aware that childbirth always carries some risk, even in cases where the kid turned out to be normal and not a supe. Any woman who aspired to motherhood was ready to take a risk.

You said, “Why do you think I'm weaker than Becca—that she survived but I can't?” You were unsure of which was worse—his hatred for your unborn baby or his perception of your weakness.

Seeing your wet eyes, he softened his tone and said, “It's not that I think you are weak or something. It, fuck, I mean the baby, will most highly have the exact power I have; the baby will do anything to get rid of from your womb when your water breaks,” he continued, sitting by your side and taking your hand in his. “Just like I do when I'm really furious or stressed, the baby will explode if it becomes even slightly stressed or when it senses your distress. The reason Butcher's wife survived is that the baby didn't explode to escape her womb; instead, it just wanted to be out. It will be worse for you.”

You listened to him with terror, not having a single idea how and when he did learn the details about Becca’s childbirth. You were overwhelmed trying to imagine the scenario he created. That must be the reason he was acting so strangely and coldly in the last two weeks.

“How do you know such things?” You whispered, not knowing how to react.

“I already knew that you were pregnant before the stupid test. It was clear from your scent and all,” he said, looking at your locked hands. “And I searched for details about Butcher’s wife’s childbirth. We should be glad that we have an example in front of us.”

“I can’t do this, Ben. I want to keep the baby,” you sobbed, feeling pressured. “I can’t go under the knife.”

“Why are you so fucking selfish?” he asked. “Did you even fucking listen to me?”

“We don’t even know it for sure. What you’ve said is just a theory,” you said, hoping he would change his mind or at least listen to you a bit.

“It’s a fucking possibility, a high one, and it’s enough for us to get rid of this monster as soon as possible.”

“I won’t do it, Ben. I can’t have an abortion based on what you think is going to happen in the future,” you answered with a firm voice.

Even though he was able to control his abilities and the power hidden in his chest, he felt as though he was losing control of himself and his temper after witnessing your selfishness and obsession with a tiny fetus. Ben stood up and moved away from you.

He sternly remarked, “If anything happens to you, if you die in childbirth, I will kill the baby, I fucking swear.”

“Have you gone insane?” You sobbed as you realized how serious he was, and your eyes widened in terror. “How are you even able to say something like that?”

“I don't give a fuck.” He was very serious as he snapped, “I won't even blink.”

Whispering softly, “But then I’d die for nothing,” you looked at him with pleading eyes. He was not giving you a chance, but he was not giving a chance to your unborn baby either.

“Huh,” he said, biting his lip, giving you an insidious smile. “That’s something we can both agree on, sweetheart.”

After a few months, Ben spent most of his time at Vought, or God knows where, rather than respecting your decision, accepting the situation, or having a conversation about it. Despite all your efforts to talk to him, he hardly spent any time with you in the house. After two months, he no longer argued with you. He scared the shit out of you when he nearly blew up the house during your argument. Though it was selfish of you, you made the decision, knowing that he was very concerned about you and that it was hurting him to consider the uncertain future that lay ahead of you. If only he knew how much the distance in his eyes hurt you.

Your belly started to show up, and it was already too late for an abortion, which was something you didn’t even consider once. It was almost the fifth stage of your pregnancy, after all. Ben had stopped fighting with you, and you went to the hospital all alone, even though Annie and Kimiko offered to come with you.

You waited for Ben to come home the day you learned that you were pregnant with a boy. You thought that would make Ben’s heart at least a bit soften and make him a bit more eased or even glad when you shared the news as he lay beside the bed. However, he didn’t even say a single word. He just closed his eyes and let you stay on his warm chest. You were too close yet too distant.

“At least, could you say something?” You whispered to him, and he just took a deep breath and wrapped his powerful arms around your body. You begged him again, “Please,” but he kept his eyes closed and put a bit distance between your belly and his, trying not feel the growing life inside you. He considered your baby like an enemy, a monster.

Even though you were eager to enjoy your pregnancy together and fix things with him, he was acting as though you were waiting for your execution day. You knew that he was still angry with you, and he was right about it considering your uncertain future in front of you, but there was no need to live like strangers while you were married. His support and tenderness would mean a lot, at least to ease your distress.

Your unbalanced hormones weren't helping at all, as it had been a while since he touched you, and he had avoided doing so since your belly had begun to swell.

“I’m tired. Sleep,” he said firmly.

“Could you please at least come with me to the hospital for a regular check once a month? You don’t have to be inside of the room.”

“I don’t want it.”

He probably didn’t have an idea about how much the way he talked so sharply and coldly broke your heart, but you didn’t give up.

“Why not?” you asked softly, lifting your head to look at him, trying to talk about it.

“It’s just that I don’t want it,” he said with an irritated voice, cutting it short. “Are you going to force me to do something I don’t want to do again?”

You approached him and again pressed your cheek against his muscled chest, whispering, “No. But I'm so lonely.”

It was impossible to get through to him because of his stubbornness, even though you needed him to show you his love and care—at least to touch your belly and comfort you.

“How come you would feel that way?” He asked in a mocking tone, “You have your baby boy, right?”

“Can you believe that I don't even experience nausea? The doctor says it's nothing out of the ordinary, but he's not making this pregnancy physically more difficult for me or anything. He's going to be a docile boy.”

You occasionally told him about your baby, even though he didn't want to discuss anything except your personal health.

After a moment of silence, “Good for you,” he simply said. “He will be ready to blow your womb up with kindness when the time comes.”

In an attempt to soothe him and set the tone for this conversation, you added, “Ben, I won't die in childbirth, I promise you. Let's try not to make things more difficult for one another than they already are. It won't be easy, but everything will work out in the end. We must confront our future together as a married couple.”

“I told you to get rid of it, but you made every choice by yourself already, selfishly, and now you want me to act like everything's okay when it's fucking not,” he said angrily.

“Ben,” you puffed, and faintly gently stroked his muscular chest, saying, “You're not even listening, and I'm tired of arguing.” Actions speak louder than words, after all.

His eyes narrowed, and he followed your hand as it slid down his strong chest. Feeling the firmness of his body through his sweatpants, you glanced at him expectantly. All you could do was stare with anxiety as you worried that he would stop you again. But he was, you could say, enjoying himself there.

You moved quickly to go on top of him, and as you dropped the nightgown's hanger, exposing your breasts to his view but not your swollen stomach, you waited anxiously for his response. Although he didn't enjoy being the bottom or letting you ride him, he wasn't going to stop you at that moment. Your skin trembled from the cold, even if the room and his body were warm.

He was watching you with an undreadable face, not even touching you, but you knew he desired you. His shaft under you was proof.

“I’ve missed you a lot,” you said as you started to move on top of him, rubbing your pussy against his hardness.

“I can see that,” he said with a rough voice, and he urged your hips to go faster while his eyes were fixed on your breasts. “Do your best, and I might consider fucking you deep and good.”

As your hormones were kicking you hard in the last few days already, you were lost in pleasure and felt yourself getting wetter each second, and your nipples got hard while you were grinding on his hardness with swift movements.

When you sensed that your climax was approaching, you let out a loud moan. It didn't take you long to lose yourself in pleasure because he didn't touch you soon enough. But just as your lips parted with pleasure, he pushed you away from him and got on top of you. You groaned in protest as you lifted your hips to create friction again, but he stopped you turned you so that you were facing the sheets.

With a quick motion, he tore off your panties, and you could feel him taking out his hardness from his sweatpants. Your stomach wasn't flat, so you tried to move a little to find a more comfortable position, but his powerful hands and massive body prevented you from moving even an inch.

You felt he was stroking himself into your wetness from behind, and he groaned, “Stay still; don't move.” With a forceful motion, he spread your legs, and under his strong hands, your pussy throbbed with eagerness.

You pressed your face against the sheets and moaned desperately. You tried to move your hips a bit, urging him to take you already. You didn’t need him to prepare you at all because your body was already craving his presence.

“Ben, please,” you begged him, trying to face him, but he pushed your head and chest a bit hard against the sheets.

“If you want me to fuck you properly, you’ll do as I say,” he said as he pressed the tip of his cock against your entrance and pushed it inside with a rough move.

When he swiftly pushed his shaft inside of yours, you both moaned loudly. Your moan was half in pain because of his roughness and the way he pressed you against the sheets, even though you were wet enough to withstand his hardness.

He placed his bisceps on both sides of your head as he began to rapidly fuck you. He groaned as he fucked you and you felt your pussy already clenching around his cock. You arched your ass up feeling his hot panting on your neck.

You tried to concentrate on the pleasure; you kept your eyes closed, trying not to ruin the moment as he was finally taking you. Even if it hurt to feel your swollen belly pushed hard to the sheets by his heavy waist as he fucked you harder every second, you didn't stop him, tried to endure the pain.

However, as he was moving on top of you, he slammed his massive body into your back even harder, lost in pleasure, and his harsh motions and weight caused you to groan in pain. You shut your eyes, and your hands frantically grasped his wrist. You tried to comfort yourself by holding your belly with your other hand.

He instantly stopped, swearing as he allowed you to take a moment after sensing your discomfort and hearing your agonized gasp. You could feel the pleasure and pain in your legs shivering a little.

“Fuck. Are you alright?” he asked in an anxious tone as he became still within you.

You quickly nodded to him in response, saying, “I am; don't stop. Just try not to press your weight, please,” you said, keeping one hand still on your stomach as you shifted under him a little to allow to catch your breath.

Ben cursed and gazed at your hand, still on your swollen belly, as he came to his senses. As he moved on top of you to a more comfortable and safe position, he apologized in a quiet voice and gave you a firm kiss on the forehead. Your heart warmed with his tenderness for you and you smiled. Maybe you should force him to hurt you a little bit sometimes to make him show his tenderness.

One of his hands stopped on your stomach after he waited a little longer on top of you to give you a moment. Now you were waiting for him on your hands and knees. That was the first moment he touched your belly. Feeling his large, warm hand, you gasped and laid your hand on his as he began to pound into you again, more gently but still rough.

When he shifted a bit and hit your sensitive spot with a rough move, you moaned loadly and your walls clenched tightly around his cock as you orgasmed as soon as he groaned on top of you, saying, “Don’t come yet.”

Your walls continued to clenching around his cock, and he immediately began to spill inside of you as he kept cursing. He filled your pussy with his thick white ropes, and he said, “You can't even fucking listen to me just once, right? I might start to think that you're doing it on purpose to make me crazy, sweetheart.”

He pulled out his cock very carefully when it softened inside you. You felt incredibly satisfied, and bliss came over you because it had been a long time since he took you like this.

He turned you back and gave you a firm kiss on the lips. You couldn’t stop smiling between his warm kisses. You felt your body and hormones finally ease.

“Rather than keep fighting, we should have been doing this, you know,” you murmured, and you put your hands around his back. “These hormones are making me crazy.”

He chuckled softly, gave you another kiss on the forehead, and looked at your swollen belly with an unreadable face.

“I don’t even know how to fucking kill myself if anything happens to you,” he said, looking into your eyes with a pained expression. “I can’t live without you.”

You felt your heart broken under his sincere confession. You knew he was extremely concerned about you, and that was the first time he was this honest with you. Shifting under him and taking his hand, putting it on your belly, you kissed him as you said, “Why do you still have trust issues? I’m more strong than you think. I promise you, Ben. This baby will change everything in a good way. You’ll be the best daddy. You’ll see it.”

You gave him a playful smile as he moved his hand vaguely on your belly.

“Yeah,” he sighed and raised his eyebrows, looking to your body. “Best daddy to threaten an unborn baby with death and murder. What a start, right?”

You chuckled and gave him a quick kiss before you shifted under him and leaned your back to his chest.

“Well,” you said, taking his hand and putting it on your low belly. “It is a start at least.”

You closed your eyes when a sudden tiredness came over your body, and you held his hand tighter.

He pulled you to his body like you would vanish at any moment and murmered, “I’m sorry for everything I have done to you.”

“I am not,” you said with a smile on your face. “Stop overthinking, Ben.”

Ben hardly left the house, and you two began to spend the entire time together. You were worried by Vought's extreme interest in your pregnancy, and you and Ben took steps to ensure that the media was kept informed about what was going on. It was frightening and distressing to think that Vought and other devils looked after your child. That was one of the reasons you needed to endure childbirth and be strong.

You were taken to a special Vought hospital, which was a bit far away from the capital, when you reached the last stage of your pregnancy. His energetic and unpatient kicks started to hurt a lot, but you didn’t tell Ben not to stress him out any further. The energy in his chest was getting out of control lately, and there were times he nearly blew up. So, it was suggested that he not come to the hospital until you delivered the baby. You needed him to be with you so badly, but it was better for him not to see your pain.

Thankfully, Kimiko and Annie were there for you and took care of you. You didn’t want to be alone with those doctors at all. They were Vought’s doctors, after all. The boys made sure Ben didn’t blow up, and they watched over him all the time. Annie told you that Ben wanted to come nearer to the hospital at least, but you knew it wasn’t a good idea, but he kept calling you every hour, checking on you if you were doing okay though it was you that reassured him everything would be alright soon and as though he was the one to deliver a supe baby.

When your water broke in the middle of the night, there was no pain like it. Annie and Kimiko did their best to help the doctors while you were being prepared. You screamed at her not to call Ben.

As you saw the doctors prepare to cut open your stomach, Kimiko held your hands firmly above your head. Ben's theory about the baby blowing up inside of you crossed your mind as you tried to remain composed and control your breathing. You also tried to keep your mind off the pain, but before the doctors could do anything, you felt powerful kicks on your lower abdomen that tore you open and made it clear he was done with patience and wanted to be out as soon as possible. You weren't even slightly helped by anesthesia. Even though you clamped your jaw and closed your eyes so you could ignore the blood all over the bed, you couldn't help but scream.

You heard Annie gasping in shock and saying, “Oh, god. I can’t watch this.”

The knives in the doctor’s hand were everywhere in your stomach while they all tried to calm you down, but your pained screams filled the whole hospital. You felt you were losing your consciousness, even if you did your best to keep your eyes open. All you thought about was Ben at that moment and the whole thing you'd been through together. You didn’t want to prove him right about you being weak. You wished he was there with you so badly that you cried even harder.

“Take him out!” you screamed at the doctors while you were crying, and you fisted your hand till you bled your palms while Kimiko watched everything in terror in her eyes.

You watched in amazement while you saw the baby finally coming out of your stomach, which was ripped open, but you couldn’t stop smiling despite all the pain. His little chest was glowing a bit, but he wasn’t crying. You overcame the worst, you told yourself.

The room was filled with blood, and so was your baby. You wanted to reach for him, but you couldn’t manage to find the energy. You heard Annie, and the doctors were saying stuff, though you didn’t understand what it was about at all. Losing your consciousness, your eyes shut. You needed a long rest.

While doctors did their best to keep you alive for hours, it was already morning. Annie finally found the courage to call Butcher and tell him about your condition. She didn’t know how Ben would respond through the phone and wasn’t even sure if he listened to her completely, so she thought it would be better if Butcher talked to Ben.

“Congratulations, Soldier Daddy Boy,” said Butcher with an anxious voice to Ben as he entered the room. “Annie just told me Y/N delivered the baby last night.”

Butcher gave Hughie an exchange of looks while Ben’s chest started to glow as he shut his eyes.

“How is she?” Ben growled, waiting to hear the worst.

“Hey, calm down,” Billy said, putting a hand on his shoulder. The smoke was already rising from his chest, ready to blow up the whole building. “She’s not dead.”

“I’ll fucking kill you all if you are lying.” Ben pushed Butcher, with a harsh move, to the nearest wall as he tried to calm himself down. He didn’t know how long it would take him to wake up if he blew up right there. All he needed was to see if you were really okay.

Hughie gave Ben an awkward look and murmured, "Congratulations for..." but before he could say anything more, Ben pushed him against the wall next to Butcher and said, “Fuck you.”

Ben looked at the doctors, who were attempting to explain that it would take two or three months for you to fully recover, with a homicidal glare when he realized that you were dead asleep on the bed. But it wouldn’t take long you to get your consciousness back. He wouldn't even consider twice about killing those fuckers in an instant if you didn't need them.

They all told him that you were pretty strong, but it didn’t mean anything to him right there while you were half dead on the bed. His supe ears focused on your weak heartbeat behind the glass. He struggled for hours to stay calm and not explode, but it was getting impossible.

“Hey,” Annie said with an anxious voice while she gave a look to your motionless body on the bed and the look on Ben’s face as he stood without doing anything, lost in thoughts. “Would you like to see your baby? He is pretty cute.”

“Fuck off,” Ben simply said.

Hughie and Butcher approached Annie, and Hughie said, “May I see the baby? I already bought a toy,” with a shy smile on his face.

Annie gave him a warm smile and a nod and led him to the room at the end of the corridor.

At the end of the three weeks, Ben finally relieved himself a bit, seeing that your condition was getting better and your heartbeat wasn’t weak anymore. He refused to see the baby until he was sure you were finally recovering. Butcher and the others didn’t leave Ben alone, since his nerves were pretty sensitive. In addition, he knew Hughie and Kimiko were spending their whole time with the baby in his special room. Though he didn’t see the baby once, he kept asking doctors about his health and everything else. He knew he was doing alright; he was a supe baby after all.

Annie had already left the hospital a few days before. The current state of Vought worsened by Ben's sudden disappearance. The public and media weren't informed. Butcher, Hughie, and Kimiko stayed with him and with you to make sure Ben didn't lose his temper.

Ben sighed and went to visit his son when his supe hearing focused on his small mumbles. Even though it was becoming late, it didn't appear like he was sleeping. He knew you didn't suffer for hours only to see you ignore your own son, since it wasn't his fault for being a supe baby after all.

Ben saw his son watching the spinning toy reach up to his crib when he came into the room. Based on the silly lullaby that came out of it, it was most likely Hughie's present.

The moment his son began to make little noises, Ben's heart warmed. When their gazes connected, he smiled, as though he recognized his dad. He stretched for his arms, his little chest glowing. It's likely that his son sensed the familiar scent of his father.

“Hey there,” Ben murmered, his eyes fixed on his son’s chest, which kept glowing and lightening the dark room. He took him from his cradle carefully. “You’re not going to blow your daddy up, right?”

However, his chest started to return to normal as soon as Ben took him in his arms and gave a kiss to his little forehead.

“You know,” he said with a playful tone as he touched his son’s cheeks. “You are lucky your daddy’s the strongest supe in the world, but you are even more lucky your mommy is pretty strong too.”

Ben chuckled when he saw his son begin to play with the small eagle symbol on his suit and quickly rip it off. “It seems like you're a strong little man. I wonder how I'm going to sew it now.”

Ben took one of the toys from his son’s cradle, and he kept kissing his little forehead while he left the room. “Do you want to see your mom?”

Butcher and Hughie were eating sandwiches in the middle of the corridor, and Butcher smirked when he saw Ben approaching with his son on his chest and a toy in his other hand.

"Well, well, well,” he said, giving Ben a side smile. “Big bad daddy finally remembered he has a son.”

“Call me daddy again when I’m deep in your throat,” Ben murmered as he looked at your sleeping form behind the glass.

“Are you kissing your son with that mouth?” Butcher said while was drinking coke.

Ben simply said, “Fuck you,” as he led his footsteps to your room.

He didn't feel comfortable or at peace at all when he spent weeks keeping watch over your tired body in bed. But at least you were alive and would be well soon enough. Your heart was starting to beat stronger already. Last week, you even opened your eyes twice, but you fell back asleep right away.

Ben's small son's head turned as if he sensed his mother's presence before he moved his body from his chest to yours. Perhaps it was like his dad's scent that drew him in, or his supe senses in general.

He reached his little arms to your body on the bed immediately as he mumled excitedly, but Ben kept him in place.

“Hey,” said Ben, trying to distract him with the toy. “Let your mommy rest, little eagle.”

While Ben tried to calm his son down, his son's small chest started to glow while he still tried to reach his small hands to your body. He was trying to get rid of Ben’s hold. It made Ben a bit nervous for the first time in his life. So that was how people felt about his blowing-up issue when he was about to lose his temper.

“You really want to challenge me?” Ben asked. He chuckled and got closer to your body, letting his hands touch your cheeks. But he held his hands carefully, remembering that his son was a supe who didn’t have any control over his strength. “So be it.”

Feeling soft hands on your face, your eyes started to open again. You didn’t know what day it was or if you were alive or dead. You frowned at your eyes, feeling tired as hell. Your stomach also hurts a lot.

“Ben?” You murmered with a small voice, trying to stay awake and not fall asleep again.

All you heard was him arguing, but you didn’t understand what was going on at all. Then you heard him saying “fuck” and pushing a button beside your bed. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Your eyes met with the most beautiful face you’ve seen in your entire life, and you gathered your whole strength to touch your son’s face as he kept mumbling while his hand was touching your cheek as though he were trying to talk to you. He was worth everything you've been through.

“I am okay, just tired,” you murmered as your eyes watered. “He’s so beautiful. I can’t believe he’s mine.”

“Actually, ours. He is and is also pretty strong. He ripped off my fucking suit,” Ben chuckled as he stilled your son with his big hands, sitting on your bed carefully. “I have missed you so fucking much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” you said giving him a smile. “I told you I would survive, right?”

“Yeah,” he said proudly, squeezing hand hand softly. “I’m so fucking glad you were right about everything.”

“Stop swearing, Ben. The first word he’s gonna say will be ‘fuck’ because of you,” you giggled. “Are you kissing our son with that mouth?”

He chuckled and said “I’ll do worse things with that mouth,” as leaned and gave you a firm kiss.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

A/N: My idea was to kill the reader from the very beginning, but she convinced me not to do it. I always thought fanfiction and the characters had power over the writers, not vice versa. I guess fanfictions write themselves; maybe we, as writers, create nothing at all. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated! Check my masterlist for other Soldier Boy / Reader stories.

[sluttysnowangel666]

The Wolf & The Wildling

Part 2 to The Woman Beyond the Wall, last part.

masterlist

Summary: One year after Cregan’s near death experience with the wildling woman he met, he returns beyond the wall to find and recruit her in hopes of fighting alongside him for Rhaenyra Targaryen at the start of the Dance of Dragons.

cw; smut af come on you know me, really rough cregan, overstimulation, bit of angst but a happy ending :3, talks of SA, childbirth, no use of Y/N but an x reader,

stop not me getting emotional at my own story bc i imagined the end of scott street by PB playing at the ending😭am i a cornball?? anyways, thank you to the anons in my asks for the inspo, i wasn’t even really sure how to continue this story, although i knew i wanted more for cregan and his wildling, you guys gave me the inspiration i needed to give them their ending! tag list: @rebeccawinters

Every day Cregan hadn’t gone back out there felt like another day wasted.

He struggled to do his duties, struggled to sleep, fight, listen, do anything that required attention from him.

And yet despite their rather harsh separation, Cregan still thought of her with every free moment he had. It didn’t help many lords were also insisting the Warden of the North marry a noble daughter. He knew he had to do his duty, but couldn’t find the strength to do it.

It had been so long since he’d seen her that he’d begun to forget his favorite parts about her. It felt as if her strange laugh no longer echoed in his mind, as if he could no longer envision her scarred yet still smoothed skin.

He had the dagger with him always. It was like keeping a piece of her with him. He remembered the pain so vividly, could still feel the throb in his shoulder if he thought about it too hard.

Yet, the ache was nothing compared to the painful thought that always seemed to stay in his mind.

Would he ever see her again?

He couldn’t help but wonder if the Gods had greater plans for them. He prayed that they did.

“My Lord.” A voice interrupted Cregan from his thoughts. He stood, turning to face the person. “A raven has arrived from Dragonstone.”

Cregan took the scroll from the maester, quickly opening it to reveal its contents. It was a letter from Rhaenyra Targaryen. She was sending her son in hopes of gaining the support of the North, and requested Cregan have an audience with her heir, Jacaerys.

He would have to return to the Wall.

He hadn’t returned, much to the dismay of the Nights Watch, since he had nearly died from his wildling’s arrows. Even the thought of going near the Wall made his heart skip a beat. She would be so close, yet so far. He knew he could no longer avoid the wall. His duty to the men there was dire, and he had let his own fears get in the way of that.

As for his lover, he wasn’t even sure she still wanted him. As far as he knew, she hated him; she wanted to put an arrow through his eye, his dagger through his chest. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to see her again. No lady had ever compared to her. He had found his other half, and now felt empty without her.

If he did find her, what would he even do? They were bonded by love, yet separated by more than a Wall.

The separation would soon not matter anymore.

Winter is coming.

———

A fortnight later

Castle Black

Cregan had welcomed the prince to Winterfell, then accompanied him to the Wall.

The young men walked, discussing terms of Cregan’s service.

“In winter, my duty to the Wall is even more dire than the one I owe to King’s Landing. I need my men here.” Cregan says to his prince.

“Whilst your men guard against wildlings and weather,” Cregan twitched at the word wildling. “the Hightowers plan to usurp the throne. If my mother is to defend her claim to hold the realm united, she needs an army. War is coming, to the whole of the realm my lord. We cannot wage it without the support of the North.”

Jacaerys trails off, standing against the guard that overlooked the entire outside of the Wall.

“My father brought King Jahaerys and Queen Alyssane to see the wall. His Grace stood at this very outlook and watched as their dragons, the greatest power in the world, refused to cross… Do you think my ancestors built a 700 foot wall of ice to keep out snow and savages?”

“What does it keep out?” Jacaerys asks.

Cregan finally looks beyond the Wall for the first time in a year, his mind thinking of her for a brief moment, and then the darkness that lies beyond it. “Death.”

“I have thousands of graybeards who have already seen too many winters. They are… wellhoned. I can ready them to march at once.”

“If your graybeards can fight, the queen will have them.”

“They’ll fight hard.” Cregan says, his mind once again thinking of his love as he says his next words. “Like Northerners.”

Jacaerys senses something; more words that the Warden of the North wished to speak.

“Is there something else you can offer us, My Lord?” Jacaerys asks.

Cregan hesitates. “There is a woman…” He looks. beyond the wall again. “She is fierce, deadly with a bow. If I can find her… I can ask her to lead the graybeards into war.”

“Should she accept, my mother will be more than pleased to have her.” Jacaerys asks.

“My Lord!” Cregan turns, “A raven has arrived… Urgent news from Dragstone.”

Cregan looks at the man holding the scroll, who holds a sight of worry on his face. Cregan quickly opens the scroll, reading its contents.

Cregan looks at the prince, and Jacaerys tries reading the man’s stoic features.

All Cregan can do is hand Jacaerys the scroll, and let him read for himself.

———

Another fortnight passed following the news of the death of Prince Lucerys Velaryon. Jacaerys had left the Wall at once to return to Dragonstone, whilst Cregan began to prepare his graybeards to march.

“My Lord, why must you go back beyond the Wall? The graybeards do not need a leader. I do not think it wise to let them be lead by a woman beyond the Wall, let alone the one who killed the Lord Commander of the Nights Watch.” His maester tells him, worried of how the people of Winterfell and the men on the Wall will react.

“They will not know she’s a wildling. Tis’ not important information. All they need to know is she will lead them well into battle. I trust you’ll keep this information I’ve shared with you private, Maester Windell.”

“Of course, My Lord. You can count on my discretion, always, but I fear wonder if this journey is for more than a leader.”

Cregan stops his packing, not wanting to share more information than he already has with his maester. “No, maester. I only am going to help the Queen. I will be back shortly, with or without the wildling. Winter is coming, and I will not get lost beyond the Wall.”

The maester didn’t argue, so Cregan made his fortnight journey back to the Wall, and then beyond it.

He felt fear when his horse took its first steps onto the icy tundra outside the Wall’s gate. He feared he would not find her, feared she may have died, feared she would kill him before he got to kiss her one last time.

The late summer snow was not too harsh yet, but Cregan knew he did not have long to find her before Winter came.

He searched for days for her.

He returned to the spot where he first set up camp, finding the bark where he had carved a dire wolf had been completely torn and shredded by a knife.

When he returned to the cave it was dark, and no trace of her had been left behind. It made it feel like the moments they shared in there never happened.

He felt lost. He set up his camp in the cave, but she had not snuck to it during the night like last time. If she had, she truly left no trace. But, he knew he hadn’t felt her yet. She wasn’t there.

2 weeks into the journey, he had dreamt of her.

He dreamt he was a wolf, hunting, when he finally saw her.

She was sleeping, ever so soundly, beneath a bright red weirwood. He growled at her, and she awoke quickly, immediately grabbing and aiming her bow at him.

She gasped quickly, catching her breath as adrenaline coursed through her veins.

She released the arrow into his eye, and he awoke.

He was sweating despite the cold, and the burning feeling in his eye was lingering.

He rubbed it softly, but then directed his attention back to her in the dream. It was really her. She looked different. She looked stronger somehow, and her hair had grown greatly. She had it in a long, thick braid. There were bags under her eyes, like she had been exhausted from something.

He stood and exited the cave. The sun was slowly rising, but there was a blue hue that made the snow on the ground glisten. He closed his eyes, stretched, and yawned when he heard a sound.

It was a familiar sound… the sound of a bow string being pulled tightly.

He lowered his arms from his stretch, and opened his eyes.

There she was.

There she was.

She knelt on one knee, aiming her arrow at his eye. Her eyes burnt with a fire that he’d never seen, her breathing was quick and angry, her lips turned in a sad scowl, she was fueled with adrenaline.

He smiled, laughing softly. He couldn’t believe she was here. She pulled the string tighter at his sweet smile, her heart breaking at seeing him truly here.

He took a hesitant step towards her, but stopped.

A soft whining sound came from her back.

His smile faded.

She lowered her bow slowly, eventually dropping it completely. She had a fabric diagonal across her body. She moved it underneath her arm, and then twisted it around her body.

Her hands gently found and cradled the babe.

Cregan gasped. He couldn’t believe it.

She softly hushed the babe, tracing her fingers over its face. She whispered soft, comforting words to it. The babe made gentle little noises.

“Is that…” His voice was barely above a whisper. She looked at him solemnly. His hand covered his mouth.

“This is your son, Cregan.” She finally spoke. Her voice was smooth and melodic, different from how he heard her last time. He stepped towards her, falling to his knees. His whole body was shaking, and not from the cold.

“Does he have a name?” He asks, holding his arms out, hoping she’d trust him enough to hold his son.

She nervously hands him his child, fearful he might take her little babe, her only piece of Cregan, and never return again.

“No.” She says. “I only birthed him a moon ago.”

Cregan can’t hold it in anymore, and begins sobbing. All of his emotions pent up from the last year pour out. He holds the babe close to his chest, sobbing relentlessly.

He’d missed her so greatly this past year and now seeing her here, alone with this little babe, he’d realized how badly he erred. He wasn’t there to comfort her, hold her, help her. She had suffered it all alone.

“I’m so sorry.” He sobs.

She stares at him, her face unwavering. She was so angry. She wanted to kill him so bad, to take back her babe and cut his throat.

But, she couldn’t.

He’d broken her heart in such an unimaginable way. She’d cried over him for weeks, and when her blood hadn’t came she knew the worst had happened. But now he was here, holding their babe and sobbing like a child. She didn’t even know Cregan was capable of such emotions. She didn’t truly know him, and he didn’t truly know her.

Her hand found its way to his broad shoulder to try to comfort him. Her other hand moved to cradle his cheek. He rested his face into her hand, spilling wet tears on her.

“Oh, Cregan.” She whispered, wiping the never ending tears from his cheek. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his, hushing him like she did their babe. She wrapped her other arm around him, bringing her warm body against his while still being careful of their infant.

“I’m so sorry.” He repeats. “I should not have left you. I should have killed those men and brought you home-“

“Sh, sh, Cregan.” She whispers again. “I’m yours, as you are mine.”

Her words send him back into tears. She presses soft kisses to the tears on his cheek, weaving her fingers in his curls that she desperately missed.

“Where have you been?” He asks, minutes after calming down. “I’ve searched these whole damn woods for you.”

She smiles softly, “You think I don’t know that?” He smiles. “Why did you come back here, Cregan?”

He looks down at their sleeping babe, then back at her. “I’ve wanted to come back every day since I have been apart from you… But, I couldn’t find the strength. I regret it more than anything. I regret leaving you, I regret not coming sooner, I-“

She cuts him off, placing her warm lips onto his. Not breaking the kiss, her hands take the babe from him, setting him aside next to them.

“What are you-“

She slaps him across the face, with such a strong hand that he can’t help but stop and look back at her in total shock. She pulls his lips back into her, confusing him with her back and forth attitude. “If you ever leave me again, I really will put an arrow through your eye.”

He smirks, pulling her back into him with his strength. “Now we’re even.” She whispers.

“We were even when you nearly killed me last year.” He says, she growls at him, but they continue kissing. “I wear these scars with honor.”

She tears into his soft clothes, “Take him inside, and then come back out here and make me yours again.”

He pulls away with haste, grabbing his babe gently and walking back into the cave. She follows, right on his heels. He finds a safe spot for their babe, setting the sleeping child down.

He turns, grabbing her by the neck and kissing her, pushing her backwards out to the cold.

“Be gentle with me.” She whispers into his lips.

“No.” Cregan says, ripping off her furs and throwing them on the ground. She smirks, not wanting him to anyway.

He grabs her by her hair and she shrieks. He pushes her down to her knees, and she sits in the cold snow once again. He unlaces his breeches, and she quickly tugs them down with his soft clothes.

She presses her cold fingers onto his pelvis, and she places gentle kisses along his length. She looks up at him with her big, doe eyes. He pulls her head back by her hair again and she gasps. He pushes himself into her mouth, immediately groaning at her warm tongue. She moans around him, placing her hand at what she can’t fit in her mouth. He grabs both sides of her face, thrusting his hips into her mouth, not realizing his roughness. He had missed her so much, and he was so lost in the pleasure of her mouth.

She gagged repeatedly, her eyes flowing with tears. Her free hand rested on his toned stomach for balance, and she scratched her nails into him from time to time.

He pulled her head back with a pop of her lips, and looked down at the little mess before him. Her cheeks were stained with tears, drool spilling from her lips, her thighs rubbing together to relieve the tension between her legs.

He pushed her back into the snow and got on his knees, placing himself between her legs. He wrapped his hand around her throat again, rubbing his fingers at the wetness between her legs.

“You’ve missed me?” He asks.

“I’ve missed that cock.” She teases.

“Don’t worry. There won’t be much to miss soon.” He presses a harsh kiss to her lips, sliding himself into her. She gasps into his lips, trying to pull away to cry out, but he refuses to let her go. He pulls one of her legs to his chest to give him a deeper angle and she whines into his lips. He starts thrusting, fast and harsh, into her healing cunt. His hand moves from her throat to her breast, now round and large with milk than the last time he’d had her.

“Cregan!” She cries out loudly, finally breaking free from his lips. She throws her head back into ecstasy, her hair becoming wet from the snow. Cregan moans loudly, his thrusts sloppy and quick.

“I’m putting another babe in you.” He moans, forgetting why he was there to retrieve her in the first place.

“I’ll fucking kill you.” She says, slapping him across the face. He looks at her angrily, a wolf awakening inside him. He grabs her face, his fingers digging into her cheeks as he fucks her harshly and angrily.

“I’m gonna cum.” She whines, squeezing her eyes shut tight.

“Don’t.” He says. She gasps, begging and pleading for her release. He slows his thrust, leaving her in agony. She bucks her hips towards him, but he pushes them down, locking her in place with his strong arm.

“I fucking hate you.” She moans.

“Cum for me then, and we can see if that is how you feel for me after.” His thrusts go back to their fast, sloppy pace, and she moans. Her hands grab his wrist, clawing her nails into his forearm.

She hits her peak and moans his name repeatedly. Her fingers dig into the snow again, the other hand digging into his arm. He growls, not stopping and continuing to thrust.

“Stop it.” She whispers, her body shaking at the sensitivity. Cregan doesn’t listen, only maintaining his harsh pace. He lifts both of her legs to his chest, his length touching her womb. “Please, Cregan, fuck!” She whines, tears spilling from her eyes at the overstimulation.

Her fists hit his chest, and yet he continues. She slaps him across the face, over and over again, and he still continues, his face stoic, desperate for nothing more than to see her writhing beneath him.

She sobs as she cums on him again, slapping and hitting him harshly. Her body is a trembling mess, peaking with pleasure and pain. Finally satisfied, he lets his own peak wash over him, filling her to the brim with his seed again, right against her womb. He rests over her, moaning and biting her neck, despite her nails scratching and drawing blood against his neck.

“Cunt.” She moans into his shoulder, holding him tightly against her shaking body. He pulls out, gently, allowing her to rest before he carries her back into the cave, stepping into the hot spring with her in his arms.

She rests against him, and it’s as if they had never been apart. He looks over at their sleeping babe on the ground, smiling gently. He looks back down at his love, his smile fading.

“There is a war brewing in Westeros.” He finally tells her.

“What for this time?” She asks, drawing little shapes on his chest, not seeming to really care about his answer.

He decides to wait to tell her, instead wanting to enjoy the moment with her.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you… before I left.” He says. She sighs.

“Cregan… Do you wish to know why I killed the Lord Commander?”

He looks down at her, confused. He assumed her only reason was she hated crows. She looks up at him.

“Why?” He asks.

She waits before explaining. “He’d come out there before with some of his men. They often hunted wildlings for fun. They’d tell the men back at the wall it was for a hunting exhibition, but really… They were tired of the women from some place called Mole’s Town.”

Cregan was still confused.

“That was years ago, when I was in a tribe… But, the crows just kept coming back… And our tribe refused to leave, because our ancestors had settled there hundreds of years before.” She pauses, “The Lord Commander always said I was his favorite… I left eventually. Turns out I’m safer alone. That’s when I started killing crows.”

Cregan realized he was gripping her arm too tightly, and loosened his hold. What she said changed everything. Men were coming beyond the Wall to force themselves on wildling women. He wanted to be sick. Cregan’s last words to her before he left… that he would kill her for what she did.

Anger ignited inside him, but there was nothing he could do. The Lord Commander was dead, she got her revenge. But, the thought of that happening to her, the words he spoke before he left her alone. It was too much.

She noticed his tension, and placed her hand on his cheek. “My wolf.” She whispered. He closed his eyes and turned away from her touch.

“I’ve failed you… Again, and again, and again.” He says, tears spilling from his eyes.

She straddles him, forcing him to look at her. “Aye. You have.” He looks at her, not expecting brr bluntness. She wipes his tears. “But you’re still mine, Cregan Stark… and I’m not perfect either.”

He presses a soft kiss to her lips, wrapping his arms around her.

“So, what were you saying about the war?” She asks, resting her head on his shoulder.

“There is a war forming between the dragons. It is growing more and more dire.”

“Dragons?” She asked. “Like in the stories?”

“Aye, my lady. Except these are no stories. The dragons are dancing, and the North must stand ready to fight with the true Queen.”

“Queen?” She asks. “Aren’t you King in the North?”

“No, my love. Starks bent the knee over a century ago.”

She leans back to look at him. “Bend the knee to me.”

“I do every time I stick my cock in you.” She laughs, a sweet and gentle laugh, no longer the chaotic one she used to do.

“You’re different.” He says, a smile on his face.

“I am a mother now. My child has softened my witch heart.” She jests.

Mother. The mother to his child, specifically. He couldn’t ask her to lead the gray beards no longer. She needed to return to Winterfell with him to raise their son. His smile fades and she notices.

“You’re different.” She repeats his words. “Why did you come? Truly?”

“You are a warrior… and the North must stand ready.” He looks at her, his eyes worried.

“You… You want me to fight?” She asks, stepping off him and standing. The water stops at her hips, and he tries hard to keep his attention focused on her face. “Just a moon after I nearly died pushing out your fat little babe?”

“No, no, my lady. I do not want you fighting no longer.” He looks at her, taking her hands in his. “I want you to come home… with me. To Winterfell.”

“My home is the North.” She says, taking her hand away.

“No, no.” He stands, resting his hands on her arms. He looks over at their sleeping son. “He changes everything.”

His son would be considered a bastard, by all traits, but he was his son nonetheless. He would raise him as a Stark… as his heir to Winterfell.

“Home is not a place.” Cregan says. “A home is what you make it… My place may be in Winterfell, but it is not my home if you and my son are not with me.”

She sighs. “I’m no lady, Cregan.”

“I know… and I don’t care.”

“I will not watch you marry a noble while I am your whore that you force to work in your castle and fuck at night.”

“I would never ask that of you.” Cregan says, putting his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer. “Starks are honorable men. You will be my wife, and my son will be my heir. I will kill any man who ever dares harm you again.”

She stares at him as he continues. “I needed an excuse to come back out here… If I told them I came out here to get you to lead the Northern army, then it raised less suspicion. But, I care no longer. I only care about you.”

“What if I say no? That I won’t join you?” She asks.

“Then I would accept.” He looks at his son. “All I ask is you let me bring him.”

She looks at their son. Cregan continues. “He will never know a cold night, he will learn to fight among men, he’ll have a full belly every time he goes to sleep, he’ll be respected by all those around him… and if you came, so would you.”

She looks back at Cregan. “He will join you.”

Cregan closes his eyes, her hand resting against his cheeks.

“As will I.” He opens them to look at her again.

“Truly?” She nods. He laughs, breathlessly, pulling her in for a deep hug. His fingers weave into her hair, holding her tightly against his chest.

“I will fight for you as well.” He pulled away to look at her.

“No.” He says. “No, I need you with me at Winterfell.”

“Cregan… A queen! You honor me, choosing me to lead your Northern army.”

“I don’t want you to.” He says. “What of our son? You could be gone for years… You could not return.”

She laughs, “My Lord Stark… You’d be a bloody fool to think any man could kill me.”

“This is hardly a war between men, my girl. This is a war between dragons, and none will ever be so bloody.”

“Cregan… I am of the free folk, which means I will always be free. Being free means I have the choice to fight for you… and for a Queen.”

———

Cregan returned to Winterfell a week later, carrying his babe in his arms on his horse, with a wilding woman behind him.

His maester was bewildered at the sight before him. “My Lord… Who is this babe you carry?”

“Maester, this is my son and this woman here is his mother… and my betrothed. She will be leading the graybeards in the war. Call upon wet nurses and maids to help foster our son while she is gone.”

“A-At once, My Lord.” The maester stumbled over his words, giving the wildling one last look before going to do his task.

Later that night, her and Cregan sat in his chambers. His lover couldn’t help but explore and ask questions about everything in the castle.

“What is this?”

“A pen and paper.”

“What does it do?”

“Well, you tell the maester a message and then he writes it down and gives it to a raven to send off.”

“And this?”

“A tub.”

“What does it do?”

“Bathes you.” It went on like this for hours, but he didn’t care. He was glad to share with her his way of life. Her naiveness at noble life was sweet.

When they cuddled up in his furs in their now shared bed, she laughed with giddiness. “Ask them to bring more.”

“My love, you’re under four bear pelts and the hearth is at full flame, you’re going to get hot.”

“Hot?”

“Warm, my girl. Too warm.”

“I don’t care. This is all so exquisite. You should’ve brought me here much sooner, you know.”

Cregan simply smiled, looking down at their son in his arms. “Did you have any names in mind for him?”

She hums, resting on her elbow to face them. “Cregan is quite a handsome name.”

“We can name give him a Stark name if you like mine.”

“Like what?”

“How about… Benjen Stark.”

“Benjen.” She whispered, sitting up and touching her son’s dark locks. “I love it.”

Her and Cregan locked eyes, staring at each other in silence. “You don’t have to go, my love.”

“I do.” She says, cradling Cregan’s cheek.

“I wish to marry you, make you Lady Stark of Winterfell.”

“I will be your… Lady… when I return.” She says, unsure of the proper term to use.

He laughs, “Wife. You will be my wife. I can have the maester teach you to read and write upon your return.”

“Truly?” She asks. “Like stories?”

“Stories, history, anything my betrothed wishes to read she can.”

“Betrothed?”

“It means we’re to be wed, at some point.”

She presses her forehead to Cregan’s. “I can’t believe I am here.”

“Neither can I, my love.”

He presses a gentle kiss to her lips, and they fell asleep like that, Benjen full and warm in his father’s arms.

Cregan and his love were only able to share a few nights together before it was time for her to march with the graybeards.

“You are strong, my lady. Command these men like you did me, and they’ll follow you anywhere.”

Cregan lifted her onto her horse, and she nervously settled into the saddle. He stepped onto his own, Benjen tightly secured to his chest as the babe was to his mother when Cregan stumbled back upon them.

She took her hand in his, and he pressed a gentle kiss to it. “Come back safe to me, my girl.”

She smirked, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to kill some Southerners.”

“Goodbye, my sweet boy.” She says, touching Benjen’s hair one last time.

“Take care of our son, Cregan.” He nodded, tears welling in his eyes.

“I have a gift for you before you go.”

His master at arms came to him, handing him the freshly made dire wolf crest. He pinned it on her chest, and she looked down, tracing her fingers over the craftsman ship.

“You are a Stark… from this day, until your last day.” He said. She looked at Cregan, pride in her face.

“I’ll make you proud, my Lord Stark.”

He handed her the dagger, the very thing that brought them together. “I know you will.”

With that, she turned and slowly began to leave with her horse.

She turned to look back at them. “By the way, I killed your horse last year.”

Cregan’s smile faded, but then she laughed, and he couldn’t help but laugh too. She turned back around, and he looked down at his son, his beautiful little pup. The babe’s big gray eyes staring back at the ones he inherited from his father.

Cregan rode the opposite direction from her. He turned again to look at her one last time, and she turned to look at him too.

He smiled at her, letting the tears fall. She smiled back. He watched her ride the opposite way, and she watched him as he rode back to Winterfell until they could no longer see each other.

He would miss her greatly, but he knew she would return. This parting would not be forever, for they knew that they were bonded by love, seperated by only distance this time. No wall, no duty, no pain would ever come between them again.

He couldn’t wait for her to get back to them so they could start their life together.

Forever.

[lillithsalvatore]

million dollar man

pairing: royal!jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader

summary: the price of loving a million dollar man, a prince

warning: modern royal au!, mention of cheating, angst, minor dni, cursing, asshole jace (?), cried. like and reblog are appreciated!! my 1st imagine, please be nice!!

---

"Did you fuck her, Jace? Answer me!" you demanded your soon-to-be-husband, your voice trembling with anger as you stared at Jace, eyes burning with rage. In your hand was a newspaper from a well-known publication, which you held up in front of him. A news about him with his 'childhood bestfriend'

When Jace finally confessed, nearly shouting, "Once, just once, and I fucking regreted it" your heart tightened. His admission felt like a powerful blow to the trust and pride you had invested in him. Your anger intensified, but beneath it all, a deep sadness began to take hold of your mind.

"Once?" You gave a bitter smile. "Even once is fucking enough to destroy everything we had, Jace."

Jace looked at you with regretful eyes, but that only made you feel more exhausted. "Do you know? I trusted you more than I trusted myself. And you betrayed that trust for a moment of weakness."

"Y/n…" Jace began, trying to approach you, but you raised your hand to stop him.

"Don't!" you choked out, but your voice remained firm. "Don't make this worse Jace”

You took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "I loved you sincerely, but love cannot continue when trust has been shattered."

Finally, you turned away, heading toward the door,

"I hope you never make anyone else feel the way I did."

Jace stood there, frozen, feeling the pain in every word you spoke. He realized that you were not just angry about the betrayal, but also about feeling disregarded, pushed aside in a relationship where you had poured all your heart and soul.

"Y/n, I'm sorry, —" Jace said, his voice trembling, but you couldn't bear to hear any more. Apologies at this point only deepened the pain.

"Don't apologize, Jace," you replied, your voice breaking with sobs. "Sorry doesn't change anything. You chose her over me, It's always been her, Jace."

You could feel Jace's hand still holding yours, but now, that warmth no longer provided the comfort it once did. Instead, it only reminded you of the times he wasn't there for you, when he chose to protect someone else over you.

“Please don’t do this, please let me fix it” He begged

"I tried so hard, Jace. I gave you everything I had, but you chose her, even if you didn't realize it," you said, your voice now filled with nothing but exhaustion and despair.

Jace didn't know what to do, what to say to fix his mistake. He could feel everything between you falling apart, piece by piece, with no way to put it back together.

"Y/n, I—" Jace started, but you interrupted him, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

"I can't stay here anymore, Jace. I can't keep going like this. I guess that's the price of loving a million dollar man."

"And I giving this ring back to you, I hope you'll find someone who deserve it" You turned away, moving towards the door, trying to leave this suffocating space before your heart completely shattered.

Before opening the door, you looked back at Jace one last time, hoping he would understand what you couldn't put into words: that you had loved him deeply, but you couldn't stay with someone who no longer belonged to you.

And then, you walked out of the apartment. As the door closed behind you, you felt a profound sadness but also a sense of relief, as if a great burden had been lifted. The tears had dried up, leaving a void in your heart, but it was a necessary emptiness, allowing you to move forward, to find yourself again and rebuild your life from the ruins.

And though the pain was immense, you knew you had done the right thing. You chose yourself

Jace might realize his mistake, but it was too late. The love and trust you had given him were no longer intact. Now, you had to seek happiness for yourself, a happiness unbound by emotional scars.

And so, you moved on, looking toward the future, knowing you deserved a true love, a love that would never betray you.

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 20]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

chapter masterlist

Words: 4.3k

ao3 link

Pain radiates through your body as you begin to regain consciousness. There are two points that are throbbing and parts of you want to slip back down into the darkness until the aches are gone, but the rest of your body doesn’t like that plan. 

Slowly, the switches in your mind are flipped to ‘on’ and you become more aware of what is happening around you. There are two people talking near you - a man and a woman whose words you cannot yet process, but the deeper voice sounds so very familiar and comforting. It takes a few moments or hours - you cannot tell - for you to give a name to who is speaking, but when you finally figure it out, your mouth speaks his name.

“Matt…?”

Your name is said, then something is touching your face. Your instinct tells you to pull away, so you try to, but there is a gentle pressure keeping you in place.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just me, sweetheart. It’s just me.”

Forcing your eyes open takes a few tries and you have to blink multiple times to get anything into focus. Slowly, Matt’s face forms in your vision, looking so, so haggard. His hair is fluffed up like he’s been messing with it and he’s got a frown that is so out of place on him. He should be smiling or laughing. That is how you always picture him in your mind - warm and happy. 

You realize it is his hand that is cupped along your jaw and press into it, letting your eyes close again. His thumb begins to rub along your cheek and you want to melt into it and allow yourself to drift back into the nothingness where there is no pain. Matt, however, has other ideas.

“I need you to stay awake. Can you do that for me?”

You do not want to do that, but since he is asking, your eyes open again. Your brain feels like sludge, but it is your knees that are screaming at you to not move. 

You are startled into being more aware of your surroundings when a feminine voice speaks from above you.

“Matt, you need to move if you want me to do anything.” 

He seems to hesitate, his face screwing up into something clearly unhappy before he finally pulls away from you. He doesn’t go far, though, stepping only a foot away. Only once your vision isn’t filled with a handsome-exhausted lawyer do you process that you are laying on your couch.  You have no idea what is going on, why you are in pain, or how you got to this position, but part of you feels at ease because Matt is there with you. 

You trust he won't let things go badly for you.

A beautiful, but tired, woman steps into your view, a pen light ready in her hand. She has an air of authority about her that has you not questioning why she is in your living room. 

“My name is Claire, I’m a nurse,” she tells you and you introduce yourself. “You passed out. I'm going to check your eyes and ask you a few questions to make sure you don't have a concussion.”

“Okay.” You don't remember passing out, but it would explain a few things. Your anxiety-people-pleasing mind pushes your confusion down and wanting the examination to be easier for Claire, ask, “Do you want me to sit up?”

“Do you feel like you can?” She counters and you don’t really know the answer, so you try. Your head throbs as you do and your knees are not happy about bending, but you get yourself into sitting. More pieces are added to the puzzle of what is going on, but none of them make any sense. 

You couldn’t tell before, but Matt is wearing a dark red jumpsuit that reminds you of Captain America’s armor. There had been a news segment where they had brought out a replica to talk about the design and the function and all you can think is Matt somehow got his own copy and customized it. For whatever reason. You certainly don’t know all of his hobbies - it could be a cosplay thing for all you know - or some kink - or both. 

You are in no position to judge.

The other puzzle piece is Karen’s boyfriend, sitting at your kitchen table looking at his phone, with your daughter in his lap. She is splayed against him in her bright pink jammies and her sleep headband, and you can only guess how deep into dreamland she is. But why is she out here, being held by a near-stranger, and not in her bed? 

You don’t get to ask that question - Claire is back in front of you with her penlight, shining it directly into your eyes.  As she does, she fires questions at you.

What is your name? Birthday?

Where are you and who is the current president?

What is twenty divided by four?

You pass the concussion test and are rewarded with two of the biggest ibuprofens you have ever seen. You take them, chasing them down with water from your sticker-decorated water bottle, as Claire tells you what is what.

“You have a decent sized cut on your forehead. It needed three stitches - and those will dissolve on their own, so you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll give you some of these higher milligram pills for the headache you’ll have, but a good night’s rest will have you up on your feet again. Do you need instructions on how to clean the cut?”

You take in the information at face value, still unsure why you are being examined and cared for in your living room as opposed to a hospital. Everyone else seems so sure of what is happening and completely fine with it, so you simply shake your head.

“Um, no, I know how to take care of it.”

“Perfect,” she turns away and begins to pack up a backpack on the coffee table you did not even notice. “If you start getting nauseous, head to the ER. Now,” she turns to stare down Matt, “If my delicate hands are no longer needed, I’m going back to bed so I am well rested for the job I actually get paid for.”

“Thank you, Claire. I appreciate it,” he says in a soft voice, but there is a layer of gravel in it you aren’t used to. 

The nurse finishes her packing, then looks to you with a small smile, “it is nice to finally meet you, I’m sorry it was like this. Late night calls have gone down since he told me about you.”

“Nice to meet you?” You say to her as she leaves your apartment, completely unsure of who you just met and what her connection to Matt is.

As you continue you try to comprehend what is going on, Matt moves towards you. He cups your jaw with both hands, smoothing his thumbs over your cheeks, “what were you thinking?”

You frown at not only the rougher tone he is using, but the question, “Matt, I don’t know what is going on. I don’t…” 

You trail off and finally mentally address what you have been ignoring.

Your hand creeps up to your face and you feel the edges of the band aid covering up the cut on your forehead. How did you even manage to do that? Claire said you passed out - but how? And why? And why are Matt and Frank here?

Did Minnie call them like she did with Foggy when you were sick?

You don’t know those answers, so you switch to things you can figure out. You search your mind, trying to recall what you were doing before you apparently passed out. You remember cleaning the bathroom, then Minnie coming in and throwing up. 

As those memories surface, the rest rush you - you took Mouse to the bodega and on the way home, some man attacked you. You remember struggling and fighting then…then there is nothing. 

The fear you felt then tickles back into your throat and you can feel tears starting to form. 

“We were attacked,” you breathe out and almost instantly, Matt is pulling you to him, wrapping his arms around you and cradling you as the reality of what happened hits you. You cling back, burying your face into the rough material covering his shoulder, and try to not break down. 

You’d been slapped a few times - but no one has ever tried to physically hurt you to that extent before. You had never felt so helpless - so useless - before. You hadn’t been able to protect your daughter. 

Hands had been around your throat and in your hair and you had flopped around like a fish. 

He could have killed you. 

He could have killed Minnie. 

Matt gently rocks you as you process what happened to you. You try to not cry, but you can’t stop it when some tears do start to fall.

“Why were you out so late?” he asks into your hair and the guilt pools in your belly. You were so stupid to go out.

“Minnie was sick,” you mumble against Matt’s shoulder. “Her stomach was upset, and we didn’t have Pedialyte. We had to go get some.” 

You can feel him frowning into your hair and it just makes you feel that much worse about everything.

“It couldn’t have waited until morning?”

“No.”

It’s not you that responds - it's the man across the room you completely forgot about. You lift up your head to look at Frank, confused why he is speaking up for you. Matt partially turns, pulling you along, and angles his head towards the other man.

“No?” He questions, not sounding pleased at all that someone else is chiming in.

“No,” Frank repeats firmly. “That’s bein’ a parent, Red. Your kid needs something in the middle of the night, you go out and get it. That’s how it is - there ain’t no waiting until morning when they are sick. That’s how they get dehydrated. She didn’t do anything different than any other mother in the city.”

Matt’s lip twitches and you have the feeling he is trying to not scowl or snap. You can tell he is just worried and upset over what happened, but you’d never seen him like this before.

But Frank is right - there was no scenario in which you did not go to get Minnie what she needed when she was sick. 

You look to your baby, and you need her in your arms. You pull away from Matt, wiping at your eyes as you do, and make your way to your small dining room. You feel more than see Matt follow you - practically becoming your shadow until you are in front of Frank. Once you stop walking, he is against you again, his chest to your back and his hand on your hip.

Your daughter is dead weight as she is passed to you and you cradle her to your chest, giving her hair a kiss before asking, “Is she okay?”

“She’s okay,” Frank assures, and you feel like he is speaking to both you and Matt. “Probably going to have some nightmares and be clingy, but you’ve got one brave and smart little girl.” You smile a bit at the praise, because you like to think the same thing about Mouse - brave and smart - your perfect little angel. 

“Gave her some of that Pedialyte,” he adds, “and she drank it all, so hoping whatever made her sick will be gone.”

“Thank you,” you mumble. You feel like he is a father and that is why Minnie seems comfortable with him, but he has an air about him that makes you not want to ask.

You rock your daughter in your arms, feeling so grateful that she doesn’t have a scratch on her. You have no idea what you would have done if she had been hurt in any way.

You can feel yourself starting to calm - your tears are slowing as you accept and process things and part of you just wants to curl up in bed with your family and sleep for twelve hours. 

Unfortunately, that is not in the cards for you. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Matt’s head jerk towards the main door, and you can’t help but tense up. His vibe since you have woken up has been on edge and you're surprised he hasn’t snapped or something, yet. He pulls away from you to stalk towards the hallway and you hold Minnie just a bit closer to you, unsure what he could have heard.

He swings the door open and there is a woman with thick jet black hair and bored looking expression. She pushes past Matt without care and enters into your apartment. 

“Don’t ever ask me to do that again.”

“What happened?” Matt asks.

“Well, he’s not dead, but he won’t be waking up anytime soon. I even got you a report number, so you can follow up,” the woman says, and you realize they are talking about the man who attacked you. That makes your heart start beating a little harder and your mouth feel dry.

“Did they say where they were taking him?” 

You tune out of the conversation and instead focus on holding Minnie. You press your lips to her hair and avert your eyes away from Matt and the woman. You look briefly to Frank, who is back on his phone, then let your eyes wander elsewhere. Minnie’s sippy cup is sitting on the dining table, so you decide you can at least clean that up. 

As you move around the table, something else catches your attention. 

There’s a large black bullet proof vest sitting on one of the dining chairs, with a distinctive looking skull spray painted on it. 

You’ve seen that skull before - it’s a common thing to see spray painted on a wall or post box around Manhattan. It’s a symbol everyone in the city knows just as well as Spider-man’s emblem or Captain America’s shield - it’s the Punisher’s logo. 

The Punisher - whose real name is Frank Castle, who, if you recall correctly, looks strikingly similar to the man sitting at your dining table. 

For some reason you do not understand, you do not panic. You simply stare at the vest, all the connections flying around in your brain, and mentally go ‘Well, that makes sense.’

The Punisher is here because he was with Matt.

Matt’s dark red jumpsuit isn’t a cosplay or a kink thing - it’s armor. 

It’s armor because he is Daredevil - the protector of Hell’s Kitchen. 

Matt is Daredevil.

Daredevil is Minnie’s Dad.

That’s why he sometimes has bruises and cuts you don’t ask about. That’s why his knuckles are scarred. 

That’s why he is in your apartment tonight - Daredevil stops people from being mugged. 

You were being mugged and he came and rescued you. He called his Superhero Doctor to come make sure you were okay so you wouldn’t have to go to the hospital and explain how a blind man stopped the attack. 

“You okay?”

You look to Frank, and you expect to see blood and guns and mayhem, but all you see is the man who brought you soup. You see Matt’s friend and Karen’s boyfriend - who are two of the kindest people you have ever met in your life. They have treated you better than anyone ever has in your life. They care about you. 

You flash back to your very first encounter with Frank and you recall how you were scared of him, but Minnie wasn’t. Minnie - who is unsure about everyone new. You trusted her instincts even before you knew about her gifts - you’d once heard you can tell a person’s intentions by how toddlers and dogs react to them, and you’ve always found it to be true. 

So, you decide to trust Minnie as well as your initial reaction - it may possibly be because of a concussion but you would actually like to sit and think about what you just learned rather than react blindly. 

“I’m okay,” you say slowly, sticking with how you feel in that exact moment, and not how your night is going. “I think I’m going to go lay her down.” You hesitate, then decide you still need to be a good host, since this is your apartment, ask, “Would you like anything to drink?”

“No, thank you, ma’am,” he says, his lips turning up into a small smile. “Think it’s time for me to head out - leave you and Red to have a talk.”

Your cheeks heat up and you know he knows you have figured out who he is. You hold Minnie even tighter and look down to your feet, your anxiety over being perceived starting to spike.

But you know better than to be rude and Frank has always been kind to you and Mouse.

“Thank you, Frank. I appreciate everything you’ve done for us.”

You do not flee, but you do walk a little faster than normal to carry Minnie to bed. You oh so carefully place her down and tuck her in, making sure Pig is right there with her. Scooby must be out in the living room, and you’ll need to grab him when you finally are able to lay down. 

You stare down at your daughter, who is sleeping so peacefully, and let everything wash over you again. You cover your mouth to try to repress a sob, but you know it doesn’t matter - Matt will still hear it. 

Everything is changing so much and so fast and you don’t know how to deal with it. 

First, you finally find Minnie’s father, then you find out he has super senses and your daughter inherited them, and now you learn he is a superhero.

You don’t know how to even begin to process this development. There is no guide for this and you aren’t even sure how you even feel. 

You can’t be angry at Matt - you don’t know how he got into crime fighting, but you know how passionate he is about being a lawyer and helping people. You know he loves Hell’s Kitchen deeply and you can’t imagine having to hear every little crime that goes on. 

You don’t know much about Daredevil. You know he sticks to Hell’s Kitchen and he’s made the area safer. He stops muggings and break-ins, and he’s cleared out various gangs. You know the community likes him for the most part - there is actually a mural of him in an alleyway near the diner. 

But what does it mean for you and Minnie? 

How does Matt being Daredevil work with him being a father? If you look back over the last few weeks, you haven’t really noticed anything off. 

But what if he gets into a fight he can’t handle? 

Or some bad guy learns who he is and comes after Minnie to get to him? You know that happens to politicians and cops and such, so it would be no different for a vigilante. 

What secrets will you need to keep?

Do you need to learn more than basic first aid - like how to stitch someone up?

How will you explain this to Minnie?

Does he know Spider-man? Captain America?

Does he kill?

There are so many questions ping-ponging around in your mind you don’t notice when Matt enters the bedroom. 

He comes up behind you and says your name in a soft voice before wrapping his arms around your waist. He holds you to his chest, chin dropping over your shoulder, and to your surprise, you find yourself leaning into his hold. 

“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” he tells you and you close your eyes at his words, letting his voice wash over you and corral your thoughts into something quiet. “I had a plan to tell you - to explain everything. I swore to myself I wasn’t going to hide anything from you.”

You believe him. 

You wish you would have known sooner, but you also understand why he didn’t tell you. It’s not just something you tell someone, and Matt has proven that his intentions have always been good. 

“Am I going to get another binder?” you ask, sniffling a little as you do to stop more tears from coming.

“If you want one, I’ll make you one,” he instantly replies, “just please don’t take Minnie away. I beg of you.”

You can hear the fear and pain in his voice, and you know exactly how he feels. You remember how scared you were that he would take Minnie away. 

You turn in his arms - looping yours around his middle and resting your forehead on his shoulder. 

“I wouldn’t do that. Not unless she is put into danger.” 

“I would never.”

Again, you believe him. 

His arms tighten around you until you're snuggly pressed into him and you can feel armor and buckles pressing against you. You squeeze him back, needing the comfort and needing something to ground you. 

You need to feel safe. 

Matt makes you feel safe. He made you feel safe before you knew what he did in the night and now it’s just amplified.

“Did you stop him?” You ask in a whisper. “The man who attacked us?”

“I did,” he responds. “I’ll stop anyone who dares to try to hurt my family.”

You shakily nod against him, then ask the question you fear, “Did…did she see?”

He doesn’t respond right away, but when he does, the guilt is palpable, “No. Frank made sure she didn’t see anything.” 

That eases your anxiety a fraction. You will need to talk with Minnie about what happened, and you already fear that conversation. She has never seen anything so violent before and you are surprised she isn’t already having bad dreams. You have no idea how she’s going to react in the morning.

You have no idea how you will react in the morning. 

You press your face into the crook of Matt’s neck, where there’s some type of rough black fabric. He begins to rub his hand up and down your back - you don’t think it will be soothing, but you don’t want him to stop. 

You want him to stay and hold you.

You want him to keep you safe. 

So, you tell him. 

“Stay the night,” you mumble against him, and he nods into your hair. 

Neither of you move to pull away - you stay holding each other in front of your daughter and you wonder if he needs the comfort as much as you do. 

It feels like time crawls by and your knees, which you must have banged up in the attack, start to make it known that you need to stop standing. Matt must sense something, as he nuzzles into your hair and whispers, “We can talk more in the morning. Let's get you to bed.”

You hum in agreement, then slowly bring your arms around to Matt’s front so you can place your hands on his chest, “I need to change. I’ll grab you some sweatpants and a shirt.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

It still takes you a minute to finally step away and when you do, his hands drop from you. As you go to dig for clean sleep clothes, Matt begins to undress. You try to not turn to look - you are curious about how the suit is put together and how he gets in and out. You didn’t see any zippers or other clasps, but you suppose he wouldn’t want those out in the open if he’s fighting someone. 

You find two sets of sweats, one large enough for Matt. You hesitate to start changing, but then remind yourself that not only is he blind, but you’ve slept together, so you have no reason to be shy. So, you strip and pull on your new pajamas. 

Matt is still working on his boots when you turn back around, so you set his clothes on the bed. You remember then you are missing a member of the sleep squad.

“Do you know where Scooby is?” 

To his credit, Matt doesn’t look confused. You wait patiently as he uses his abilities, then smile when he tells you the toy is under the coffee table. You go to fetch him, and finally drop Minnie’s sippy cup in the sink, and when you return, Matt has finished changing. 

You hold out Scooby to him with a small smile, “Do you want to tuck him in?”

Matt’s solemn face lights up and he takes the dog. You watch, with a strange lightness coming over your heart, as he places Scooby beside Pig. He places the tenderest of kisses to your daughter’s temple, and you can see him move his lips, but are unsure what he actually says. 

You let him have his moment before taking his hand and tugging him towards your bed. He won’t be sleeping on the couch tonight and both of you know it. You lay down first, then he does, stretching out on his back.

“Come here,” he breathes, and you obey. You roll so you can curl into his side, resting your head on his shoulder and a hand on his chest. His arm wraps around you and you feel Safe.

Your body and mind feel so heavy as you close your eyes, and you hope you can sleep as peacefully as Minnie. 

The two of you lay in silence and when you finally succumb to your exhaustion, as the darkness takes you, you once again hear Matt’s soft voice.

“I love you.”

-

AN: Its not mentioned bc Reader missed it but it is very important to me that everyone know Jess brought Matt his gloves as well.

Also new header :3C

-

tags:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

@petrovafire39 @ghostindeath 

 @allllium

@anehkael

 @nennia-2000 @seasonofthenerd @abucketofweird  @mattmurdockstateofmind @imagineswritersblog @hazelhavoc @smile-child-13 @allst4rsfall @hashcakes @kezibear @mapleaye @sammanna @gamingfeline @moon-glades @nightwitherspring @phoenix666stuff @dare-devil

@ladyoflynx @hobiebrowns-wife @sarcasm-n-insomnia @lillycore

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare 

@mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @yes-im-your-mom @hunnybelha @actorinfluence @capbrie @prowlingforfood @jupitervenusearthmars

@

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @nommingonfood @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium 

@

two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04  @ astridstark13

 @lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday

@starry-night-20 @rebeccapineapple @writtenbyred @cherrypie5 @capswife @silvercharacterchaos @resting-confused-face

[imbored1201]

Would you be okay okay with writing a pernille x Magda x platonic!reader fic. Maybe sick fic?

Another one with Barca where teen!reader gets sick or injuried

In both reader plays for Sweden so she knows Frido when she joined Barca

Barca’s Sick Teenager

A/n: The Magda and Pernille fic is currently in the works right now. I also have COVID rn, so I’ve been stuck in my room, so sorry if it’s bad, me being in my room all day is driving me crazy right now and I cannot think properly anymore

-There’s also a lot of motherly Alexia with some Olga since Ik you guys love motherly Alexia

Barcelona Femeni x Teen Reader

Warnings: Mentions of throwing up

Word Count: 1,427

Alexia was ready to start her day, dreading the idea of having to wake you because she couldn’t trust you to wake up to your alarm, it was a warning she got from Fridolina. According to her, you never woke up to your alarm when you guys shared a room during camp, but to her surprise you were already up and dressed. "Did you do something?" She asked, and you looked at her confused. "You're only productive like this when you do something wrong."

"I just woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep." Not only did you wake up early, you also threw up. You felt disgusted, so you decided to take a nice, hot shower.

When you got out, you threw up a second time. You're pretty sure the hot shower made everything worse, but it did feel good. Alexia could see something was up, considering you looked a little pale. 

"You want me to make you eggs?" She asked you, and you quickly shook your head. Just thinking about food made you want to throw up again. 

"I'm not hungry," she gave you a stern stare. "You're not leaving without eating; I'm not going to have my child pass out on the field because she didn't eat; it'll make me seem like a bad mom." You rolled your eyes at that. 

Everyone kept calling Alexia your mom; you both hated it. Now she's accepted it and taken on the role. 

"Ale, I'm not hungry," you argued again. "Okay, fine, at least eat some grapes or something." You nodded as you grabbed your bag, trying to ignore your headache, which was getting worse. 

"Bebita, are you feeling okay?" She asked, noticing the pained expression on your face. You nodded. "Are you sure?" She raised her eyebrows at you. "Yes Ale." She knew that wasn't true, but she also knew you wouldn't admit anything. 

—————

You were starting to regret your decision during the car ride; you were sweating but really cold. You ignored Alexia's complaints about having the heater on. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again as she parked the car. "I'm fine Ale; you've asked that like 10 times already." She rolled her eyes, and you quickly got out the car and grabbed your bag. She had another meeting today to look at her knee again, so you were walking by yourself to the locker room, which was a really rare sight. 

You groaned as you noticed Pina and Patri smirking right when you entered. They were up to something. "Not today," you told them as you walked past them. Now they looked worried too. 

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to die," Patri told you as she put an arm around your shoulder. "I'm fine," you told her. "You sure?" Pina asked, and you nodded. 

—————

"You look pale," Pina told you once again. You shoved your shirt into your locker. "Pina, please stop talking." She looked offended at that, but surprisingly listened. 

The team kept glancing at each other when they noticed your little mood. "Teenage hormones," Salma shrugged as she patted your head and walked out. 

—————

It seemed like everyone accepted that since they stopped bothering you, but they were worried once again when they saw how you were struggling to keep up with everything.

————

You groaned in pain as you fell roughly from Irene's tackle. "You okay Bebe?" She questioned, as she turned you onto your back. You were holding your stomach, tears starting to stream down your face. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" She was panicking now, thinking she hurt you. You shook your head as you started crying harder. "I don't feel good," you sobbed as Irene felt your forehead. "What's wrong?" Mapi rushed over. 

"She doesn't feel good," Irene explained. "She's hot." Mapi put a hand on your cheek, "She's sick." Mapi sighed and helped you sit up. Jona was quick to come over as well; the rest of the team stood by but were quickly sent away for a water break. 

"You were training while sick?" He asked, looking like he was about to yell at you for being so reckless. It made you miss Alexia now. "I didn't think it was this bad," you cried out, reaching for Irene, who pulled you into her lap and rubbed your back. 

Jona was going to stay more, but he was pulled away by Marta. "She's a teenager; they never tell anyone how they're feeling. Let's just get her rested in time for the game," Marta told him. 

"Can you stand?" Marta asked cautiously, and you nodded, but once you tried you got dizzy again and held onto Irene tighter. "Lucy!" Irene yelled, and all of a sudden you were being carried.

"You will never hear the end of this from Alexia," you leaned your head to her shoulder. "Don't start," you muttered, closing your eyes. You were cold, exhausted, and sweaty. A warm shower sounded nice to you again. 

—————

You were so close to sleeping, but it was interrupted when someone put a wet cloth on your forehead. "Leave it," Frido told you, noticing your annoyed expression. "How many people are in this room besides us?" You asked, and Frido looked around for a second. "5", “Don’t tell Magda” Frido thought for a second. “I’m not because she’ll call me a bad babysitter”

"Donde esta?!" You heard Alexia shout. "Make that 6," she gave you a sympathetic look and quickly moved out of Alexia's way as she stormed to you two. 

"This has got to be the dumbest thing you've done," she muttered as she grabbed the medicine and granola bar from Lucy. "Eat and take this after. Then we're getting you home and your bed ridden until your for sure better."

"What about training?" Her glare was enough of an answer for you. You saw Lucy holding in her laugh. "Kid, if you want to make it to the game this weekend, listen to the captain." You nodded and ate your granola bar. When it was time to take your medicine, it didn't go well. You knew Lucy enjoyed it though.

————

Safe to say you passed out on the ride back. It was the first time you actually gave Alexia peace. 

You only woke up towards the end of the car ride, having occasional cough attacks. Alexia honestly thought she would have to take you to the hospital. 

————

"Olga!" You shouted happily, she smiled at you and pulled you into a hug, feeling your head. "She went to training sick; she's an actual idiot," Alexia ranted as she put your bag on the ground. 

"Alexia, don't call her an idiot," Olga said sternly as she guided you to the couch. "She had Lucy hold me down and suffocate me," you told Olga as you grabbed a blanket. "Alexia!"

"She wouldn't take the medicine," Alexia defended herself. "Doesn't mean you suffocate the poor girl" Olga turned to you. "I'll make soup for you; get some rest," she turned to Alexia. Giving her a dirty look. "She wouldn't open her mouth; holding her nose was the only thing that worked; she even ignored my promises to get her ice cream."

Alexia grabbed another wet cloth before Olga could make another comment. When she came back, you were already dead to the world. Curled up on the sofa, she shook you a bit. "Bebita, you should go to your bed; it'll be comfier."

"To far," you slurred. Alexia sighed and picked you up. She tucked you in bed and put the cloth on your head. 

"Sorry for lying," you sleepily mumbled, holding her hand. She gently rubbed your back to put you back to sleep. "It's okay. Get some rest. I'll wake you when the food is done." She leaned down to kiss your cheek and watched as you fell back into a deep sleep. 

————

Alexia collapsed on the couch next to Olga. "She's asleep"

"You're good with her, even though you look like you want to murder her half the time." "She loves to give me heart attacks, but I love her. She's my kid." Olga gave Alexia a look. 

"Our kid," Alexia corrected, finally opening the team group chat. Everyone was asking about you. Marta and Irene even declared they were going later to your guys place to take care of you.  

Alexia knew she would probably have to get extra blankets since they would likely end up staying the night. 

————

And that's exactly what happened; Marta even dragged Caroline along, and Mapi, Ingrid, and Lucy showed up unannounced later on. You seemed to like the attention though. You even made Mapi and Ingrid go get you your favorite treats so you could eat after your sickness passed. 

[davinawritings]

https://www.tumblr.com/davinawritings/760097313335230465/i-have-a-request-an-angel-that-looks-somewhere?source=share

I need more of this!!

Hello! Thank you so much 😊. I hope you enjoy this part ❤️

Male Angel x Female Reader Part 2

Part 1

Warnings: Sex, Unprotected Sex, Boob-job, Lactation kink, Sex with breast milk as lube, CNC?, Breast enlargement from magic potion

It’s been six months since you’ve taken the potion from the marketplace. Everything about the relationship between you and Abdiel has changed. He now makes sure to visit you twice per day, draining your breasts once in the morning when you wake up and once at night.

He looks down at you now and cannot imagine going back to a life where he doesn’t have this. You sit in front of him on your knees, his hard cock thrusting between your leaking tits. Milk drips from your nipples with each thrust. Abdiel reached his hand down to collect some of the milk, dripping it back over his cock.

“This will be so much better for you. We can get a little bit of the milk out this way and then when you ride my cock your tits won’t be as heavy and they won’t hurt as much as you bounce”.

You smile at him and say, “Thank you Abdiel for always thinking of me and taking care of me”. He lets out a groan at your words. You have become his perfect little pet. So obedient and trusting in his words. Your willingness to do anything he says makes his cock throb with need.

Abdiel pulls his cock from between your breasts. He taps the head of his cock on your right nipple causing your pussy to flutter at the sensation. He coats his cock once more with your milk before he deems you ready for the next part.

Abdiel takes up his usual spot on the couch. All of his eyes are trained on you as you stand. Your chest, stomach, and thighs are covered in your milk. You walk to him and take your rightful spot on his lap.

He doesn’t hesitate to sink you down on his cock right where you belong. He slides in easily from the combination of your arousal and milk. You can’t stop the moan that escapes you at feeling full and whole once more. He wastes no time before latching his mouth to your tit.

He gives little painful nips between sucks and licks. The first time he gave your tits nips and bites you pulled away, but as soon as he told you he did it so your milk came out faster and smoother, you never pulled away again. After all, he is your guardian Angel. He is just doing what’s best for you. Right?

You both become a mess as he fucks you into and through one orgasm, already working you up to another. He laps at your milk from your left tit, content to squeeze and massage your right. He loves the feeling of your warm milk dripping between your bodies, mixing with the sweat that begins to cover you both.

All of his eyes can’t help but shift rapidly between your bouncing breasts, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, and your sopping wet cunt.

He knows he won’t last much longer when your cunt clenches on his cock again and you scream his name. With a few more thrusts he fills you up, twitching as you whine at the fullness of your womb and emptiness of your tits.

You slump against him and he holds onto you, the only thing putting him at ease is the fact that he gets to have you this way again later tonight, and everyday after. He will need to make sure to slip another dose of the potion into your drink later tonight.

His perfect pet never even bats an eye at the fact that once a month he always makes you a special drink. You just take everything he gives you, still thinking it is all your fault that your breasts have never stopped leaking and gone back to their normal size. Abdiel is just being the perfect guardian Angel and keeping you well taken care of.

🖤❤️💕💕❤️🖤

[mcflymemes]

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (2005) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

you must know... surely, you must know it was all for you.

you are too generous to trifle with me.

if your feelings are still what they were last april, tell me so at once.

my affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever.

you have bewitched me, body and soul, and i love... i love you.

i never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

i have struggled in vein and i can bear it no longer.

these past months have been a torment.

i came to [location name] with the single object of seeing you. i had to see you.

are you too proud, [name]? and would you consider pride a fault or a virtue?

we're doing our best to find a fault in you.

i have fought against my better judgement, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance.

you really do love him, don't you?

please, do be seated.

this is a charming house.

all these things i am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

how are you this evening, my dear?

may i have the next dance, [name]?

my brother gave it to me. he shouldn't have.

i wish you would not call me "my dear."

what endearments am i allowed?

what should i call you when i am cross?

i cannot believe that anyone can deserve you... but it appears i am overruled.

are you out of your senses? i thought you hated the man.

have you no objection other than your belief in my indifference?

i do like him. i love him.

only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why i will end up an old maid.

i love you. most ardently.

please do me the honor of accepting my hand.

i appreciate the struggle you have been through, and i am very sorry to have caused you pain.

believe me, it was unconsciously done.

are you... laughing at me?

i wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

i thought that poetry was the food of love.

what do you recommend to encourage affection?

i'm very fond of walking.

i do not have the talent of conversing easily with people i have never met before.

perhaps you should take your aunt's advice and practice?

so this is your opinion of me. thank you for explaining it so fully.

those are the words of a gentleman.

from the first moment i met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world i could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

forgive me for taking up so much of your time.

maybe it's that i find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me.

my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

i cannot tease you about that. what a shame, for i dearly love to laugh.

i will not and i certainly never shall.

you have insulted me in every possible way, and can now have nothing further to say.

i must ask you to leave immediately.

i have never been thus treated in my entire life.

i can admire you much better from here.

do you talk, as a rule, while dancing?

i prefer to be unsociable and taciturn.

i dare say you will find him amiable.

it would be most inconvenient since i have sworn to loathe him for all eternity.

no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.

i've come to tell you the news.

not all of us can afford to be romantic.

i've been so blind.

they are far too easy to judge.

i was wrong. i was entirely wrong about him.

i am well aquainted with you, [name], to know that i cannot alarm you, even should i wish it.

your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult.

i've never seen so many pretty girls in my life!

i do not deny it.

has the pig escaped again?

we are all fools in love.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

More entrapment thoughts.

I’m so fascinated by the entrapment accusation because it was such an interesting choice of dialogue to portray Colin’s turmoil in that moment, specifically because it was such a ridiculous accusation, and the audience knows that. That’s why the shock factor was so high — they wanted us to feel slapped in the face because they wanted us to laugh derisively at it (knowing all that we know about the pains he went through to entrap her, even if unconsciously) and look closer, not just take Colin’s words at face value.

Like one obvious point was that it was a call back to Marina’s scheme, and being lied to was such a huge trauma for him. But beyond that, if you analyze who exactly Colin had become since the carriage, you’ll realize his singular goal since getting engaged was to secure Penelope as his wife, by almost any means necessary.

“All will be well. I am sure of it.”

“I would understand if you do not now share my feelings.”

“I will be patient until you are ready to unfold, whatever it is you are feeling.”

“If you will still have me.”

“I want to be worthy of you.”

He tries — so bravely and valiantly — to brace himself and his heart for what he’s convinced is inevitable: her changing her mind.

So much so that even when he is truly livid with her, he says “I thought I was not worthy but you are the one at fault” NOT “but you are the one who is not worthy” because he may be devastated, but he cannot lie to himself (or her). He knows, maybe even more after the reveal, that she is who he wants.

And so, the entrapment accusation is completely in character because it’s just another desperate move to secure her; it’s him, heading her off at the pass, having (understandably) lost all his valiant attempts at gentlemanly benevolence, and putting his foot down, because he’s scared. He’s scared that she now has a plausible way out (something he is still convinced she was looking for) and he has to remind her that she absolutely fucking does not, thank you very fucking much.

Also, a part of me really wonders just what exactly he would have done if she took the bait and gave the ring back.

[shirefantasies]

LoTR Characters Finding Out You Were in an Abusive Relationship

Sort of requested/mentioned by @autisticgenderworm and desired by yours truly, here is the other version of this reaction. I hope it brings comfort to anyone who needs it.

Warnings: mentions/implications of past abuse, but nothing graphic

Aragorn

Aragorn's pause sparks no concern. He is a pensive man and that is something you always loved about him, let alone any consideration the gravity of what you just shared. "And you gave your heart so freely, I have no doubt." He shakes his head. "That such a truly corrupt mind would try to take you. But that is just it: I see it in your eyes and I feel it in the way I am so lucky in your love. They can try, but they cannot break you. You are stronger than all the hate, all the avarice, in the world. You know this, do you not?" Eyes watering, you peer at him and blink. "Some days I feel so far from that." Aragorn nods. He reaches out and holds your cheek against his calloused palm and somehow it is the softest touch you've ever felt. "Our true strength is that we are never alone. You have so many who will fight for you. I will fight for you. You will be on no lead, your own person simply making our lives all the richer for it."

Legolas

Brows furrowing lightly, he tilts his head, fixing you with a look of deep sorrow. You see his hand raise, lower again hesitantly, so you reach out to take it. "I don't mean to frighten you," you tell him, "I'm sorry." “You have nothing to apologize for, my love. The burden rests solely on the one who took it upon themselves to hurt you. It was nothing you did. And I am not frightened. Rather I would have you feel safe.” “I do,” you tell him, “That is why I hoped you were not afraid. The last thing I would want is for you to see me differently. To be too much for you.” “Too much for me? No such thing,” Legolas teases with a little smile, “But truly I am just grateful you shared. If there is anything I do, anything I say, allow me to apologize now.” “That alone puts me at ease,” you reply, feeling yourself relax and breathe deeply once more as Legolas takes your hand.

Boromir

“Why?” “I- I don’t think there was a ‘why’,” you stuttered, “I could have done things differently, I suppose, but-” “No,” Boromir cuts you off, a hand reaching to gently caress your cheek, “Not you, my dear. Not you. Why would anyone seek to defile beauty? And kindness. Why indeed.” “I don’t know,” you answer helplessly, gaze falling from his, “I should have left sooner. I-I guess I was truly that lonely that I thought it was worth changing. It wasn’t.” A shaky, sardonic laugh escapes your lips. “Nobody should have to choose between lonely and pain,” Boromir laments, hands sliding down to take yours, “But we are here now, and I will give you everything you deserve.”

Gimli

“Where is the bastard? I have a selection of choice words for such a great blight upon this earth.” Gimli’s hands ball into fists at his sides as he speaks, his voice darkening a bit more with each passing word. You cannot help but smile at that even in spite of his tone. “I would be happy to introduce you if I knew,” you replied, “But I know not and care not.” “That’s my fire!” Gimli exclaims, pride coloring his tone and his very gaze upon you. “You don’t need me- my approval or my axe! But of course you have them both with equal enthusiasm. To look upon you is to see a flame most bright and most beautiful that nobody’s rain can extinguish.” It is you who steps forward first, pulling the dwarf into your arms, but it is Gimli who asks if he might kiss your beautiful lips. Just the asking is such a difference; of course you acquiesce.

Frodo

He says nothing at first, expression just softening and crumpling in pain. One fair hand extends and finds purchase upon your shoulder; Frodo’s touch melts you and he feels your relaxation beneath him. “Oh,” he speaks your name so softly, all but reverently, “For so long you have been my strength and yet you carried this.” “I didn’t know how to tell you,” you answer, “Didn’t want you to think badly of me.” “How could I? You asked for none of that. So often do these things happen against our will.” “Sometimes I wish I had never said yes when I did. So I would have never had to say no,” you tell him, crumpling into his arms. Frodo presses a kiss to the crown of your head. I often remember what Gandalf told me: ‘All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us’. They may have chosen to use their time to hurt and to wrestle control, but no longer. Time can only do so much healing, I know, but I will be here for you. Here for it all.”

Sam

"You can't mean... They didn't!" Anger flashes in Sam's typically docile green eyes. "I know," you reply, "I shouldn't have-" "You shouldn't have? The only person who shouldn't have was that monster! Don't you dare apologize for something you didn't do, alright? I don't want that sort of thing running through your head." Sam's last sentence emerged quietly. Trembled with an uncertain sadness. It broke you and made you whole all over again. You gave a small nod. "You're right." Sam looked up and met your eyes once more, returning the gesture with a bit more vigor. "I see that now, and that is all thanks to you. You love me like I deserve. Fight for me in all you do. When I am with you, Sam, I have the love I always thought was just a dream.” Tears rose in his eyes then even as his lips smiled. “And when I met you I thought the same: this has to be a dream.”

Merry

“They didn’t.” “Unfortunately,” you nod, gaze locked upon your feet, “They did. Sometimes I wonder what might have been different if I had-” “Don’t do that to yourself!” Merry cut you off, pausing for a moment as a look of remorseful surprise came over him. “That is to say we can’t change the past. Just like we can’t see the future. I may not have been there for your past, but I do know nothing that happened came of what you did. People like that, they have no shame. You are far too kind for someone like that. They took advantage of you. Made you feel bad and that’s all them. All right?” It was still difficult to believe sometimes, but Merry’s voice was nothing but convicted, and you trusted him. Swallowing, you nodded. “All right.” The hobbit opened his arms. “Come here.” You fell right in.

Pippin

"No." Eyes wide, he shakes his head and reaches for your hands. "No. How could- How could anybody..." "I don't know," you sigh, relaxing slightly as his thumbs ran over the backs of your hands, "Perhaps I should never have-" Pippin cut you off there. "It wasn't your fault. None of it was. There isn't a thing you could do to make any of that alright. And I swear to you that I will never do anything of the like. After all, who could even think of putting a precious gem like yourself down, hm?" At those last words, the soothing touch of his hands, your tearful expression broke into a shaky smile. "What did I do to deserve you?" You asked. "Don't worry," he replied, "I ask myself the same thing every day. I love you, you know. And I want to treat you like it. If I ever don't, please help me." The longer he spoke, his words faded closer and closer to a whisper, those lovely green eyes focused solely, searchingly, upon your gaze. Tears returning alongside your smile, you nodded. "You already do, Pippin. You already do."

Faramir

Brows furrowed, Faramir takes your hands at once, blue eyes gazing deeply into yours. "There are no words to lift the weight of it all. Nothing I can say but that your pain is mine and that I know how difficult it is to speak of such things. Thank you, truly, for sharing this with me. I want to be worthy of this. Of you." Worthy of you? Him? "You are more than worthy, Faramir." "And I wish to continue to live up to that for the sake of your beautiful heart. I wish for you to never feel unworthy again." His voice breaks and your heart does the same, knowing how similar your experiences were- Faramir was made to feel lesser for years. "I want the same for you," you run your hands over his gently with a tentative smile, "And I think deep down I knew you would understand. That no one else would understand like you. We can love each other more every day." "I like the sound of that," Faramir replies, his eyes shining nothing but love into yours.

Eomer

Even as your words fade, you catch the way his hands tighten into fists, tense slightly at the sight. "Coward. That worm had no honor whatsoever. And you...here you stand triumphant." "It does not always feel so," you admit, gaze falling. Eomer places a hand upon your shoulder. "We all have our scars. To escape, to be free... Why, that is the greatest show of strength. Is it not what we all fight for? And fight you did! Believe me when I tell you I am nothing but proud of you." Eomer's normally stoic expression rises into a smile, his hand sliding from your shoulder gently down your arm and finally to grasp your hand and bring it to his lips. "Nobody has the right to treat you like property. They should feel ashamed trying to tame a heart like yours. I would have it tempered. Let me act as your bellows, then, to stoke your fire of resiliency." His words do indeed fuel the embers in your heart, coax fire to them as they bring a small smile to your lips. "I would like that." "And let that scoundrel hope to never come within a league of this place while I draw breath."

Eowyn

“So cruel this world can be!” Eowyn cries out. “How can they not see all you have to offer? This will hardly erase the hurt, but I will say this: the loss is theirs.” Leaning in, her voice lowers to a conspiratorial whisper at that last phrase, her lips raising in a tentative smile. “For your heart is strong and steadfast and your laugh is music to me. To have you by my side is naught but joy. So help me, I will never treat you as a belonging, put you in a cage. And if that is how you feel I would have you tell me." "Never," you answer her, "Nor would I do the same to you. I told you because I trust you to understand. Because I love you." She leans forward at this, connecting your foreheads; golden strands of hair tickle your cheek, but you mind not. "And I you," Eowyn breathes.

Haldir

Never have you seen Haldir's eyes darken such as they are now. A part of you wants to back away, but you know that his ire is not for you. Not when he shakes his head, looking at you with...not quite pity. Rather all that swims in his eyes as he turns back to you is a new understanding, something deep in the blue. His hands hover over you as if you are spun-glass, and with your eyelids fluttering shut you take them and rest them upon your hips. "I do not mean to trouble you with this news, I just..." "Trouble me? The only trouble I have is how badly I wish to punish anybody who hurts you." At that, he smirks a bit and you feel his hands grip you a bit tighter. A shiver runs down your spine at his words. "You know, I would hardly mind that at this point. Not exactly unearned. So this is no change to you?" "Only any changes you want me to make," Haldir answers.

Galadriel

Her face falls, but something in its look leads you to suspect she knew already. Galadriel's gifts lie far beyond your understanding. "Do not discount the light you bring to this world," her voice cuts through your thoughts, "For you remind me of its joys every day. There will always be those who seek to rob us of our light, but that is only to fill the darkness that is in their hearts. You are more than enough despite what they say. You need not trouble yourself with the words of lesser folk." Tears flood your eyes at her words and all you can do is nod, shakily smiling. You feel Galadriel's lips against one cheek, then the other, then upon the top of your head, and finally warmly and softly upon your lips. "I'm so lucky to have you," you tell her, and at that she shakes her head. "It is I who is the lucky one," she refutes with a mischievous but loving smile.

Elrond

For just a moment, his expression steels and you flinch back, but only for a moment before it’s softened like never before and falling. Pain. That is the only word to describe what crosses Elrond’s face. He feels your pain. Stepping closer, the Lord of Rivendell opens his arms, and with a tearful smile you fall into them, into the silken softness of his robe and the gentle warmth of his hold. “Healing takes time. I have time. And here I shall be to grant you peace as best I can. Please do not hesitate to ask it of me. If you ask it and it is within my power, I shall grant it.” “I’d like to stay like this,” you reply, words muffled by the cushion of your cheek to his chest, the sound of Elrond’s soothing heartbeat in your ear. “As would I,” he agrees softly.

Arwen

“Meleth nîn,” she addresses you softly, brows furrowed in concern, “You endured all that?” At her words, you just nod, gripping her hands a bit tighter. She gives yours a gentle squeeze in response. “Your strength knows no bounds. Fear not, for by my side you can take all the time you need. I can wait, you know.” At that, she giggles and you smile. You are, after all, in love with not only the fairest of beings but one immortal by nearly all accounts. Her smile alone brings you so much comfort. “You are the one I have chosen and I will not take that for granted. You are a gift and that anyone would cast that aside is folly.”

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @kilibaggins @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin @letmelickyoureyeballs @mossyskinn @wordbunch @tiny-and-witchy @th3-st4r-gur1 @fleurdemiel-145 @mistresskayla-blog1 @misabelle717 @h0n3y-l3m0n05 | Reply/Message/Ask to join 💕

[zombieunicorngamerzu]

(GIP Rhaenrya Targaryen x fem sister reader)

[Warnings- Incest, GIP Rhaenyra, slight CNC, Dark themes, Possessive Rhaenyra, touching, grinding, fingering, PNV sex, deflowering, creampies, breeding, claiming]

“We have to do this Y/N, we have to otherwise father will take you away from me… I cannot have it.” Rhaenrya pleaded with you as she held your hips, hugging your waist from behind as she pressed up against you, you could feel her buldge through her black leather pants, whimpering back, “Rhaenrya, i-I’m scared.” She shook her head quickly, kissing your temple, “Shh, sweet girl, there’s nothing to be scared of. Father is just insistent I marry some Valeryian princess, I don’t want some princess, I want you.”

“Your already mine.” She whimpered out as she hugged you tighter, grinding against your rear with a breathy soft moan against your ear, “Come with me.” She just husked out before pulling you straight to her chambers, once inside she practically jumped on you to tear off your clothes, her voice husky, “Your my baby, I don’t understand why father won’t just let me wed you, I’m gonna claim you and he’ll have no choice when your pregnant with my babe.” You whimpered at her words, “Rhaenyra, i-i don’t wanna get pregnant, Rhaenrya please, it’s scary.”

Rhaenrya was quick to sooth you, hugging your bare body to hers as she played with your hair and kissed your head, “Shh, my sweet baby… I’m gonna take care of you, I swear my life on it, gonna put a baby in you and you’ll carry my heirs, we’ll be happy, I promise.” She spoke out with such passion before guiding you onto the bed before she started stripping herself. You’d been naked in front of Rhaenrya many times to just simply dress, but this time, it felt different, you were blushing and you just felt… scared, you didn’t know what her… length would feel like, you thought it would hurt, so you asked, “Rhae, is it gonna hurt?”

She was quick to console you, climbing over you to rub your cheek delicately, kissing your forehead once more to calm your body, her hands already sliding down your form with a soft sigh, “Only for a moment, I promise, and I’ll make it as easy and painless as I can, alright?” She smiled gently as she slid her hand down between your thighs to feel your wetness, the smile forming on her face was unmatched, “Your so wet already baby… you want this.” She was so happy at your body’s reactions already, the soft gasps you gave, the squirming, the trembling, she loved every bit as she worked a finger into you slowly.

At the first finger it felt like a burst of pain for you, like cramps but worse, squeezing your eyes shut with a whine as you felt Rhaenyra move her finger in and out while she cooed at you, “Shh… baby, I know it feels weird, I just have to get you ready so my cock doesn’t hurt as much.” She tried to say, she tried her best to soothe you and make it painless, but she was growing impatient as well, and painfully hard to take you, slowly taking her finger out before leaning down to kiss you, putting her body weight on you, “I’ve got you, pretty girl, I promise… I’m gonna make you my wife, and then we’ll do this every night until instead of pain, you feel nothing but pleasure.”

You just whimpered out against her lips at the feeling of her brushing her cockhead at your entrance, her tip brushing against your folds before she pressed the tip in, just barely as not to overwhelm you. You gasped loudly at the intrusion while Rhaenyra shushed you with soft kisses to your cheeks, “Shh… shh, I know, sweet girl, I know.” She spoke out softly as she slowly pushed into you more and more until finally after minutes of you whining she was settled inside you fully, a moan leaving her lips as she felt the inside of you, “Gods… sweet girl, such a good girl for me, taking me so well- just like a lady, huh?”

She smiled with pride at you as you let out your first moan after she rubbed her thumb across your clit, biting her lip with focus as she pumped her hips into yours at a slow but steady pace that made you mewl, your thighs already trembling. You felt your pussy so stretched around your older sisters cock, feeling the heavy girth as she slid in and out slowly, your back arching up with a groan that made Rhaenrya moan and quicken her pace. Hips slapping against one another in a lustfilled blaze as Rhaenrya gripped your hips and leaned down for a kiss to quiet your cries as she pounded her cock into you at a feverish pace, panting and grunting against your lips as she claimed you.

You cried out when you felt Rhaenrya slam in deep before she ground down into you, her husky moans sounding out through the room as she bred you with her seed, it spilling into your tight little cunt with fever until you were spilling around her cock with a slight bulge to your tummy, making her smile and brush your hair with her fingers, kissing your forehead, “That’s it pretty baby… take my seed, you’ll be giving me heirs soon enough.”

[the-monkeies-girl]

Cross Roads. ( Noa x Human!Reader ) Part Seven.

Ha ha ha

Title: Cross Roads. Fandom: (Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( We got some violence, some injury, mentions of mating. ) Pairing: Implied ! Noa x Human!Reader. Words: 7.1K ( uuuuuuuuu every word is pained. ) Summary: Everything seemed to bubble to the surface. Expect what was actually needed to be said. READ THE SERIES HERE.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

“I asked Echo… to stay.” Noa was hesitant with the words he chose to tell his friends. His green eyes flickered to theirs for the reactions, which admittedly, in the moment, didn't seem too bad. Well, until the words finally sunk in and Soona’s eyes met Noa’s with a bit of a widened stance and flurried worry, Anaya put it together and sputtered, grasping the side of his head with both hands before gesturing broadly at the hut where the Echo was before gesturing back at Noa.

The Leader only nodded in confirmation to Anaya’s silent inquiry. “Cannot tell anyone! Secret… Very…” He paused and pressed his lips together firmly into a coiled line of nerves, “Very… important to me.”

“Eagle Clan is more important than Noa’s wants!” Anaya yapped, Noa groaned deeply in his chest as a Bonobo came rolling by with their Eagle holding some fish, spotting the trio a rather curious look at Anaya’s statement. Reaching forward, he grabbed Soona by the elbow, Anaya by the upper arm and drifted to stand more exclusively behind the hut that was used to dry fish.

“How important?” Soona asked and Noa, feeling relief, slumbered at the familiarity that she would spare her criticisms until Noa gave more information.

Noa swallowed softly, his agape mouth telling both Soona and Anaya all that they needed to know. Noa hadn’t thought this through.

“This… Noa…” Soona’s voice came out quietly as to not alert anyone who might be passing by as they chittered together about the secret that Noa just spilled.

The three of them viciously scoured around with their matching sets of eyes, and there was no one else around but if an Elder happened to catch wind of what Noa’s intentions were, there was going to be some deeply introspective council meetings in his future about the audacity he had to proceed with such a dangerous endeavor without consulting them first. Noa knew that. That he had made a rash decision but he felt like he could not stop himself from taking advantageous leaps as far and as long as it was going to take him.

The result of the hushed nature of the conversation really depended on how long it was going to remain a secret, and that itself ultimately came down to two possibilities. One was if the Echo even came to agree with the terms that Noa had offered. The second was more blatant; if Anaya had the capability to keep his mouth shut and not chatter to someone who’s business this was not.

“This will not work. Too different… Echo will… will not stay. Leave us! Betray.” Soona’s voice strung around Noa’s mind like a cutting spear and despite thinking the same things, even so much so that the Echo herself said something about it, he still felt the sting and abandonment of support from one of his closest friends.

Pragmatism did not sit well with her as she looked at Anaya who pushed himself forward to speak but only nodded in agreement to his friend's statement. She hoped he would say something to take away the lingering pressure in her chest that rested at denying an idea from Noa, but Anaya just looked at Noa with defeated shoulders, knowing fully well what the Eagle Clan’s leader looked like when he was determined to make something go his way. No matter what either one of them said, Noa had made his bed and already asked the Echo if they wanted to stay, much to the dismay of Soona. Anaya was on the fence, it was evident in how he was teetering between Noa’s points and Soona’s rebuttals.

Noa figured that this was going to be the case - the allure to keep an Echo around was not well established amongst the Clan. Apes liked to talk, and there was no telling if the news would spread to surrounding Clans about the Echo presence and come to hunt them down. That was a true possibility, one that hadn’t really been mentioned to Noa until this moment when it finally sprung forward in his mind. He sat on it for a moment and looked at his friends in contemplation. What was he supposed to do?

Go back to the Echo and revoke his offer? Tell her that he was sorry, but he couldn’t be allowed to let her stay despite having the power to actually acutely disarray anyone else's opinions on the matter? Noa’s jaw clenched, the sun beaming off the movement and telling Soona that she needed to be more gentle with her words of disapproval. She needed to delve further, make it more personal and up the ante. Maybe then… Noa would come to his senses, at least she hoped.

“We have built… so much…” Moving to gesture towards the village, Noa’s eyes followed suit and flickered amongst the small huts that lined around the larger embankments of the tree-houses they had built as homes. Along the small fires that lit in each of them, dotting up the twirling nature of the posts. So finely detailed and sculpted together, baby vines tangled their way up the legs and slants of woods in a happy dance to get more sunlight.

They had been planted there shortly after they returned from the events of Proximus Caesar, and Noa felt a swell of pride hit his chest that they were indeed prospering. It was evident where there had been fire - the pieces of wood and sap used to build were fresher than the old, appearing brighter in color and in shape.

So close to the top of the main tree-bungalow, where small flitters of memories hit Noa when he recalled spending time there as a child with his Father, tending to the birds. Or being chased by them, he was almost positive it was the latter as Eagle Sun was adamant to follow and peck at Noa’s head, even as a child.

All of these things, not worn to pieces in his memory, but losing traction and fading with time. His eyes rested on the hut that encased the Echo in question for a second too long as Soona sighed heavily in front of Noa, her smaller shoulder hitting against Anaya’s with the dramatization of the action. “Does Noa… not realize Echo could tear it back down again? Leave us… in fire…?”

Following suit, Anaya nodded and finally verbalized, moving his hands in the motions of his words, “Agreed! Anaya… not scared to go back to that time but…” He said self-confidently which made Soona roll her eyes and shove her shoulder more aggressively into his. He yipped and looked at her with a sunken gaze. This was about Noa’s predicament.

“Noa,” Anaya shifted forward and placed a hand onto Noa’s forehead, flat-palmed and opened. “Need to think about the future. About the Eagle,” Anaya brought his hand back a few inches, “Clan.” And proceeded to smack Noa right on his brows. Noa squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling, raising an arm and batting Anaya away.

No matter what they told him, no matter how much he refracted and tried to justify his case, there was not going to be mutual understanding on the issue. At least this evening. Noa drew a deep breath in and encased it longer in his lungs before exhaling. He left it with one more stroke to an already burnt out fire.

“Am thinking of future…” He looked at Soona first, meeting eyes and reaching to embrace her shoulders in his grasp. “Echo could help us… Learn their ways,” He moved to Anaya and placed his hand in a parallel fashion as Anaya had previously done to him, “Gain,” The hand moved out a few inches, “Knowledge.” And proceeded to fall right back down between Anaya’s eyes.

And with that, Noa slumped onto all fours, almost like he was hunching in on himself. Drifting between Soona and Anaya and towards the Bird enclosure, his gait was subdued, knuckles pressing further into the ground as he moved, there was no eagerness to really get anywhere and he felt a tingle of guilt hit his chest at leaving his friends so abruptly but they just… Refused to see his side of things. Actually, so much so that in talking to them, he didn't get much time to really explain in his own words what his reasoning was behind taking the action with the Echo.

He tilted his head at that. He had a concise reasoning, that being Raka’s wise words that perhaps, they could live together peacefully, each dominant in their own right but then the words of the Elders and his Father came crumbling down. They brought danger wherever they went. Echo were inherently selfish.

They would tear down the Apes just to build themselves up, even the ones without the ability to communicate and who were lesser in intelligence. It was a deeply ingrained experience and instinct for them, as far as Noa was aware and based on his experiences. Apes had been told their entire lives that Echo were always a threat, especially if they got too close to a Clan foraging or camping, or Eagles forbid, an actual Ape.

That was unheard of, Ape and Echo ever being friendly to one another, let alone agreements being made in mutual understanding like Noa was alluding to. Always, Echo were too stupid to understand, always they were too selfish to understand any other viewpoints other than survival.

Tickling the back of his brain was the incessant idea that she would only accept Noa’s terms out of selfishness, even though he was adamant that they were not going to kill her if she was released, refusing to help. She had nothing really to gain by accepting, and she had nothing to lose by refusing if that’s the choice that’s been made. He’d let her go then, if that’s what she wanted, but he’d always have one eye on the back of his head, always looking over his shoulder, in case she returned with more Echo to destroy the village. Like she had alluded to Noa.

How did Noa know she wasn’t going to? Blind faith was not something Ape’s lept into. Their laws, their systems, were based upon the generations who built them up, from the experiences garnered over and over again as new Apes came to power. It was Noa’s turn now, but he was terrified. There was no easy choice, he felt like he was being pulled into two splitting directions. He wanted to know more, he yearned for it in fact, and this Echo could help him. He wanted to keep his Clan safe after what happened, and this Echo could take it all away again.

One was prey, one was the hunter. A fish to an Eagle. To most Clans of the valley, and especially to those in the valley beyond it was a strict law. The prospect didn't necessarily sit right with Noa when he thought about it, leaving a rather metallic taste on his tongue if he pressed on it too long. If he lingered in pondering about… being actual friends with her, this Echo he had offered freedom to in exchange for teaching Noa, showing Noa face to face if their interests really aligned and if there was any true basis to Raka’s… No, no. To Caesar's teachings and laws.

He could hear Anaya calling for him, telling him that the evening meal was just a few minutes away and that he was going to miss it if he took off now, but Noa slid the words right off his ears and continued on, trailing up the twirling steps towards the solace he found after his Father passed. Noa’s shoulders lifted and then fell with a heavy sigh. He needed to think. Needed to contemplate in the only way that he knew how. With his Father. With his Birds. With himself.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

Anguish wrapped you into her arms, grasping at your head with one hand while the other laid against your mouth, permitting anything from coming to fruition from your vocal cords, staving off any chance in the immediate moment to give Noa an actual answer to his last question. Even swallowing was difficult as the hold your emotions had on you were refusing to let you drain your throat of the thick coating of mucus that built up there from the tears, you felt like you were legitimately drowning as a small gasp managed its way out, tumbling into the otherwise dead air, accompanied in flurries by the crackling of your small fire.

It appeared as if he was unable… to look at you anymore. The tension in his shoulders brought you in but then wiped you right back out when you heeded contemplation to touch him, just to get him to look over at you.

“Noa---” Surprised at the fact that you finally managed to peep something out of your body, you tried to ignore the smothering sensation that flooded right along your diaphragm, curling and encasing every one of your ribs with fiery intent when you looked at the side of his face, his expression drawn in on itself.

Brows furrowed together, wrinkles appearing between them, his actual face fell downwards into a slope, his mouth agape, canines catching your eyes when they enticed the light of the fire just right. He could rip you apart, he could… Swallowing hard, all the build up from your throat and nose slid down grotesquely. Even at the sound of his name, he didn't shift to look at you like he always did.

“Noa, I-I can’t answer that question… Not in the way you want me to.”

You’d have been lying if you admitted to him that you hadn’t thought about it once or twice. Not that you were unhappy with the Clan, unhappy with your life, and the budding perspectives you had now thanks to Noa and the Clan’s ever endearing accommodations, the friendships of Anaya and Soona and… Your eyes rested on Noa once again. Whatever was happening here, whatever force of nature was keeping you tethered to the Clan’s leader.

There was always going to be a part of you that was inherently Human, no matter how accommodating they had all been, no matter how much you learned of their culture, their ways of living, and no matter how much you wanted to be something different, something that Noa would accept…

The times you had talked of other Humans, the redolent nature of your voice, the passing fleeting memories you had of them… The answer itself was remarkably twisted and hit your mind going too fast for you to comprehend. You missed them, but you did not yearn for them in the same way that your hands were out-stretched for Noa to take, if that’s what he wanted. You missed them, but you didn't want to leave.

I don’t want to leave, you told yourself. I don’t want to leave, but I… miss them.

All you wanted was for Noa to pull you up against him, to tell you that it was okay to think about it, but to have the knowledge that no, you didn't want to leave. There would be no argument at that point, you imagined. Knowing the male Chimp well enough, you figured he would hear only the first part of your reasoning and assume that you’d want to leave.

You could hear it in your mind, see the distaste hit his expression as he tells you that you were free to go, you always were, there was nothing keeping you here, and there was nothing keeping him to you. Heart sinking in your chest to the point where it felt like a black hole had been carved out there, you looked down at your hands once again and traced the delicate detailing of the shapes on your palms. A good distraction for you when you didn't want to cry, but still, it only did so much.

Tears were burning at the backs of your irises, your feeble attempts to keep them in their ducts beyond futile as a few of them escaped and trickled down your rounded cheeks, kissing themselves into one singular drop before falling off your chin into your lap. Whereas they had been thin and fast tears previously, these were thickened and fat with ripped emotions you didn't even know how to begin expressing, let alone to an Ape who may or may not have had the right vocabulary to understand the complexity.

You hit yourself on the inside at that thought; Noa was not stupid, it was foolish of you to fall back to the primitive thinking you had when you first met. Noa knew what you felt, whether you were willing to admit that to yourself or not. Noa felt what you felt, unbeknownst to even himself, and surely not to you.

The slow draw of his shoulders raised attention to the standing of his fur along the collarbones, upwards across the sweep of his shoulder blades, and then repeating their pattern on the other side. Twisting his neck at the vibration of your words against his eardrums, he was put into a contemplative state. His body was reaching for an involuntary reaction of mild irritation to the answer you had given him in the form of him shifting from one side to another, the rise and fall of shoulders increasing and the bickering sound of his breathing, straight through his nose.

Noa twisted his head and for a split second of relief, you thought he was going to entwine your eyes with his like he had done so many times before and tell you something you wanted to hear. Vacant and feeling a wash of abandonment, he pushed right past you and rested his glance on the fire. Crackling intently, it seemed the only thing that was able to grip passed the heavy strain that drifted from both of your bodies.

“Tell me the answer… you think… I want to hear.” Like thunder rolling down a mountain, his words sunk into you aggressively, pensively and wantingly. It was deft in its grip around your mind, it was thoughtful in how it showcased that Noa was bargaining in a sense, and it was yearning for some sort of clarity.

Whatever the answer was, Noa knew, was going to cause turmoil. He just wanted to satisfy that itch inside of his brain that still persisted. He wanted to know what you thought. About things in general, did you think that the sky was the same color that he saw? Did you see the beauty in the flowers like his eyes were able to admire? What… Did you think about him?

His jaw clamped firmly shut again as he finally drew his fiery grassy gaze towards you, crushed at the state of your body upon first glance. It reminded him so reductively of when you first arrived, your eyes refusing to meet him, your mind racing at the prospect that he was going… going to kill you… Tightening his hands, he relished the feeling of the wood now digging into his knuckles as he was still seated on all fours

“I don’t think about them.” You harshly whispered and looked over at the fire, eager to see exactly what had previously kept his attention there but there was nothing. Just a regular fire, burning to its heart's desire, much like the sensation that rolled along your chest now. Heated, unbridled anger. He was playing games, getting you to answer something that wasn’t true to help himself feel better. You couldn’t knock it though, in your bids of survival, you had to resort to similar measures. Drawing a deep breath into your lungs, you tried desperately to keep yourself grounded since Noa was unable to do it for you any longer, either by choice, or by neglect and you weighed which one was worse.

They both were, in their own ways.

“I never have thought about them since I got here. I don’t think about leaving, I think about-- about---” You hiccuped and squeezed your eyes shut, unable to bring yourself to come to a complete sentence. It was on the tip of your tongue, the rest of your words that you wanted to say but they were lost to you when it finally came time to admit.

“You think about them… often?” Noa deduced that from what you had just told him.

“No,” That was based in truth and you pleaded that he was able to tell when you looked at him with tearful eyes. “O-Only sometimes.”

“You… think about leaving?” He was even more quiet in asking that, hushed to the point where it was hard to pick his voice apart from the fire.

“Yes.” Another fact based in truth. “Y-yes… N… N…” Your voice cracked and failed before you managed to get the ‘not often’ added to the ending.

Noa nodded at that and looked away from you again. “We… should not be here then…”

Shattering at his words, you finally brought yourself to uncoil from your tightened ball. Dropping onto your hands and knees, you scooted towards him in a quick shuffle, which in any other circumstance, would have made the Ape laugh to see you struggling on all fours when it came so naturally to him. Your scent wafted against him in waves, Noa shutting his eyes to shut down that side of his mind to focus on the now.

Not the possibility of the future, or the past. Now, and here. In your hut, with you, alone… How he wanted things to go differently. If he had command over the entire situation, you’d be nothing but a tangled mess under him as he placed his canines against the delectations of your jugular, dragging them down in a bid to get you to say his name one more time, and then again as he brought you closer to him, and then again and again until the night was over and he drenched himself over your sweaty body, wanting nothing more than to encase you with his fur, to fill you to his hearts pleasure knowing that there was ultimately going to be nothing to bear fruit.

He had no idea where those notions came from, his lack of understanding Echo mating was evident when he thought too hard about it. Animalistically, all he wanted to do was push you down and prove in any way that he could that he was a provider, and he was able to keep you satisfied, by any means.

Bringing his mouth against your neck. Mine. Letting his thickened fingers trail along the tender skin of your body. Mine. The way you would say his name when he left marks along where he was going. Mine.

Instead, in his endless list of fumbles, he had asked one bad question after another, justifiably getting you upset in the process. Noa hated that he was uncouth like that, that his brain didn't pick apart the smaller aspects of how you might react to his questions. You, as an Echo, not you as all Echo’s.

That… Had been his mistake in all of this. Seeing your opinions, hearing your voice and your words as all encompassing to the Echo ways when it simply wasn’t going to be that. They were all yours, never anyone else's, and never Noa’s to dive into. Guilt ravaged his senses and tore down the most basic walls he had built for himself to stop this moment from even coming to fruition. But, here you sat, Ape to Echo. There was no way… that Raka’s words were right. There was no way to come to an agreement, no matter how much he pushed for one, no matter how much you pulled into it.

Noa finally responded to your shift when you finally managed to sneak your way into his vision and he was unable to see anything else. Torn out of a mild sense of abhorrence towards himself, he watched as you moved in front of him to sit on your knees, so close that he was able to feel the heat radiating off of you in waves, nothing coming from the fire any longer. His green and golden speckled eyes held nothing but animosity at you, glass hitting the back of your throat with a small cry, “Why?”

Turning his head away from you at the sight of your tears, trying to ignore the lingering saltiness that now ran between the two of you as a few of them hit Noa’s knees from your sudden proximity, he… Wasn’t sure of the answer. “Wasn’t fair to offer you to st--- stay.” He uttered and finally stood to be bi-pedal. Even though he wasn’t particularly tall, Noa towered over your frame as you were left to rest on your knees in front of him. “Elders always say… Echo’s bring trouble. Should have never offered it to you, I should have…” Growling under his breath, Noa refused to look at you and offered his gaze to rest on the wall to the left, “Never let you.”

“I wanted to stay!” You cried at him, lifting a hand to wipe your forearm under your nose to get rid of the snot that was falling into your mouth caused by the pure vengeful tower that the tears took on the way down. “I want to stay! I can’t go back out there, I-I would die, they would hunt me down! I n-need to stay!”

Noa’s eyes narrowed at you. So, that was it? You agreed to stay to save yourself? He felt foolish and suddenly, all the moments, all the grazing of his eyes against your skin, your glances at him during dinner, your laugh, the way you would hold onto him when you needed leverage, the soft silence that was always around the two of you when not in the throes of conversation… All these things to Noa… That meant something… Selfish, his mind taunted, Echo is selfish. Elders told you, should have listened, Noa.

“I need to think about the Eagle Clan future!” He shouted back at you, regretting it instantly when he saw how you cowered under him, the shadows of his body echoing along your features which were alight at times from the firelight behind you, your shoulders drawing in on themselves, your eyes now widened with understandable fear as you took a tumble backwards, innately out of intensified fear. His voice had come out like a whip, animalistic and growling at you as you had been warned about when you were a child. A tiny whimper left your mouth at that, as he peered down at you. “Cannot… think… Of the future when Echo…” Noa looked into your eyes, still rounded and afraid, “When… you do nothing but cause trouble and distractions.”

He could have sworn he heard a small ‘I’m sorry’, but that could have very well been wishful thinking as Noa’s shoulders dropped the tension, his fur still prickling on the edges. What he said… was right. It was said by Anaya and Soona months ago but… Now Noa knew. They were right, and he was wrong. Feelings never mattered in all of this, if you were so easy to dismiss the kindness that he offered you in favor of leaving, despite your pleas to stay. Squeezing his eyes shut, he thought about his Father. Echo brings nothing but trouble, rattled inside of his mind over and over again, one of the last things, the last pieces of advice he ever got from the Master of the Birds.

“You… you need to leave.”

“Noa!”

“Raka… was wrong.”

“Noa…”

“Apes and Humans…” You blinked at that, never having actually heard him call them that before. It was always exclusive to ‘Echo. “never see eye to eye… Cannot… Live side by side.”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

He had given you time, Noa. Time to contemplate your next move, time to think about the idea and get settled into the prospects that you would… be living with them, and by proxy and association, you would become a part of the Clan itself in a strangely twisted way. He had just taken you around the village to start your integration. At first, the premise left you feeling a bit uneasy at the looks of Apes towards you were less than understanding. There was the underlying idea that Noa was taking you to be killed, maybe in a ritual of sorts, but you pushed that back as you feet pattered lightly against the dirt path.

Noa was in front of you, only two feet or so, with you trailing closely behind. His gait… You hadn’t noticed when you were in the small hut, there was not much room for him to properly stand on his feet, but it was intense and strong, like he had been imbued with much purpose. From small conversations here and there, you got the feeling that your intuition might be correct.

The mantle he had taken from his Father, the Crown itself, must be terribly heavy on his head. Powerful, his broad shoulders captivated your eyes as you tried to focus and find the muscles underneath his dense fur. Fingers twitching, you wanted nothing more than to grab at him just to scratch your internal thoughts, and to say that you were allowed to, and to genuinely test the waters as far as your bargained life went. If you went for him, to touch, to graze, would he see it as a threat and kill you? Would he be perplexed? You were unsure but tucked the notion for later in the back of your mind. Surely with time as you two embarked in this mutual arrangement, you might lean in to learn about the comforts an Ape felt about being touched.

The long sweep of the tree-house structures were a marvel in and of itself, leaving you breathless as you trailed upwards, refusing to look down and satisfy your morbid curiosity to see how far the ground really was, Noa gesturing vaguely towards family nests, explaining in rather simple terms that communal sleep was normal, especially amongst family and close friends.

Often, that broke apart, he told you, when Apes began courting and mating each other, delving into the realm of building their own nest together for the future family they were almost sworn to have, sworn to bear after being ceremoniously tied together. You thought that a wonderful aspect as Noa talked about it, not going straight for the details as to not confuse or intimidate you, but enough to give you a glimpse. You tired it straight to the prospect of marriage amongst Humans. Seemed similar enough, and it seemed like a great start for the agreement you two were flirting around with.

“Do you think… Echo and Ape can.. Live together, side by side?” You perked up at the first question of this agreement that you had chosen to dive into as he drew you back downwards, now shuffling towards the river that was sitting to the east of the village. Privacy, you thanked whatever was up above that Noa had a concept of privacy and intuition enough to see that maybe the topics of contentious conversations were best left between the two of you. Or, he was taking you over there to drown you and then proceed to gut you like a fish, easy access to water for him to discard of the tasty guts, keeping the good ones and to also keep his hands free from your blood. You had no idea, and despite that thought ringing in your ears, you proceeded to follow him.

For the first question, it left you rather… stumped. There were a lot of ways to answer it. You could answer it out of fear, contemptment, agitation…. Fear. You lingered on that and watched with a caught breath as Noa crouched his body down, your mind reeling at how truly dexterous he was as he used both hands equally, both feet equally, never seeming to favor one side over the other.

Mentally, you found yourself then taking notes on his demeanor, knowing you had never seen an Ape, in this particular case, a Chimpanzee so close, so concise with movement and intent. As much as your jaded mind hated to admit, and despite the disparaging size between the two of you, you would venture to say that Noa was more graceful at moving than you were, as you often caught yourself tripping over your own feet or external forces.

Physically, you were hesitant to bring your body downwards as you sat on top of a rather comfortable looking rock and racked through your mind for a rational answer to his question. Noa watched intently, noting how you looked at him before choosing to sit like you were asking permission, which you really didn't need to. It’s not like you were a prisoner. More or less… He tilted his head in thought as he saw a few Apes meters away, staring right at you and then proceeding to chitter to themselves as they walked away. Tolerated guest. For the time being. Until you could be trusted further.

You supposed that’s all this was about, Noa wanting to get to the bottom lip of that very question and it made sense that the first topic he chose to delve into was that. No point in dallying or small talk. The Ways of Caesar, he had briefly mentioned, were heavily based in the ideology that Humanity was not that bad, Apes were not that bad, and in hypothetical situations, they should be able to co-exist. Obviously not, you thought to yourself sarcastically, otherwise you’d have not been hunted to the very brink of death.

“I think that… If it was possible once, it’s got to be possible for it to happen again.” That was a rather optimistic answer and you patted yourself on the back for not giving it too much complexity.

Noa on the other hand, began playing with a smoothened pebble between his calloused fingers as he listened with acute focus to what your thoughts were. And… to his surprise, they were remarkably underwhelming. He figured you’d go off on a tangent about how Echo ways were better, more efficient, more clever and smart. Turning his eyes towards you, he looked at how you were holding yourself. Arms wrapped in front of your body, your eyes turned towards the river as you watched it cut its way across the landscape.

He hummed quietly, tossing the pebble into the water and drifted towards you on all fours until he was sitting only a foot or so in front of you, facing your direction so he was able to see your expressions which he found more than amusing. He found himself detailing them in his mind how they differed from the expressions he was used to seeing with his fellow Apes. “No… way to know for sure.” He commented softly.

Noa looked at you, on equal ground as you were seated and he was crouched in front of you. Even and equal, eye to eye. Instead of breaking the connection as you so often did, finding the intensity of his eyes sitting under an already intimidating brow incredibly difficult to maintain eye contact with, you lingered and peered deeply into them.

Noa’s eyes twitched a bit at that out of skepticism, like you were analyzing him to his very depths. Maybe you were, maybe you were just staring at him with the realization that this was really the first time that you had seen him in such great lighting, having only deduced minor details about him from the dim fire of the hut you were kept in when you first arrived, and teased in the times when he took you to relieve yourself. Admittedly, that’s what he was doing. Looking, watching, noting and remembering.

Working your eyes towards the water, you nodded in minor agreement, not sure what was alright to say and what would be overstepping the line. “There’s never going to be a real way to know unless it happens.” Was your response as you looked down and caught his gaze once again.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・

“No-Noa, you need to let me finish---”

“No." He was stern in his actions, almost disgustingly so as his shoulders glowered intimidatingly at you. He’d never hurt you, you said again and again inside of your mind but the chance in his stance, the irritation falling off of him like a song, was smothering all your basic senses and you found yourself crawling backwards a bit at the mere sight of him.

“I was… stupid to think that this would work. I knew---” Noa grunted out of lack of vocabulary to properly express what he was feeling. “I knew this was going to be a problem,” He gestured at you, the movement itself causing a few more tears to ricochet down your face and fall silent on the ground. “I--- I pushed past it, I…” Words stopped and he brought a hand up to sign instead, ‘Never should have trusted an Echo.’

He lingered on the last word he presented to you, the power in his stance dissipating into the air around the two of you and left to encase your body. “You don’t understand.”

“Why… always that?” Noa swallowed hard, “Why will I not… understand? Am I just… stupid Ape to you? Aren’t we all just---”

Finally finding it in yourself to stand up, you stumbled a bit once your feet were planted and tried to shake the feeling of your left leg prickling from sitting on it too long. It was even a tighter fit in your small abode with the two of you standing, Noa’s head nearly hit the roof, yours was a few inches below his, “You need to shut up! You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

It was Noa’s turn to widen his eyes at your words, astonishment clear in his expression. He’d never heard you yell like that, much less with the tear of agony that wiped along your cheeks, fiery still in your eyes as you took a step towards him, almost chest to chest at this point as you poked his right pectoral where his scar was. Noa didn't flinch - it wasn’t painful at all, your touch would never cause him pain and deep down he knew that but nothing was stopping the unresolved from bubbling to the surface as he grasped your wrist tightly with his hand, circling his fingers around the delicate bones without a care. You groaned at that, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to rip yourself from him.

“Let me go!”

“You need to stop being selfish!” He retorted, “Never have seen Ape as full of themselves…” He growled at you, lifting your hand up above your head in a straight pinned line. Quite literally, Noa had you dangling in the air as he lifted your arm upwards, your feet leaving the ground as he brought you to be eye to eye with him. In them, the familiar glow of greens and golds were replaced by crazed dilation, the color was eclipsed beyond any sense of knowing who the Ape holding you really was.

“But Echo’s are so…” Catapulting your gaze, it fell on his canines which were on amused display for you, “Should have never let you stay.”

He kept saying that like he was trying to convince himself. “Noa---” You reached up with your free hand and grasped at his hand, trying desperately to get him to let you go even if that meant you were falling to the ground with a hard thud. He’d never hurt me, you thought again and squeezed your eyes shut. But he was.

The grasp on your wrist began to feel red with ache, pulled beyond its limits by the fact that he was holding you mid-air by the appendage. “Let me go, you’re-” Clawing at his hand, you pleaded with crazed fluttering eyes.

“You’re going to break my wrist, let me go!” Bringing a leg up, you pressed it against his stomach, right below his diaphragm. Without warning, Noa released you, taking no pleasure in seeing you fall backwards with a hardened sound against the dirt ground below. A tuft of pillowed dust surrounded you as you looked down at your now bruised wrist, trying to ignore the pure burn that hit the side of your body that you ultimately landed on with your entire brute weight. If your wrist wasn’t broken, it was severely strained by the looks of it.

“You’re just an animal.” The anger didn't stop there as you scrabbled to your feet, holding your wrist tenderly. “I knew it from the moment I met you! Just a damn, dirty Ape!”

The words felt like they weren’t yours, but they were what came out much to your displeasure. It tasted like you had just swallowed the most sour berry, having to come to terms with it and swallowing much to distaste. Looking at him didn't help, in fact, it only caused more rage to hit you and swell you into the waves. “I should have never trusted you! What reason does a Human have to trust an Ape like you!?”

“Me?” He retorted and threw you the most tantalizing of daggers, his arm expanding so he was pointing in your direction, “Look at… yourself! I don’t… know why you didn't just leave when I’ve made myself more than… clear… now that…” Noa came to a slow pause, looking down at how you were holding yourself, your wrist. He had felt it crunch below his touch, the self-reflection finally hit his senses at what he had done. What he had said.

“You…need to leave.” Was what he chose to mutter, looking at your wrist for a few seconds before directing his attention towards the exit. Remaining silent on the spot you had on the ground, the side of your body impaled with dirt and sediment from when Noa had inadvertently dropped you, you let him pace without another word, without another objection.

“Morning time, you can… Take my horse, but you don’t… belong here anymore. I need…” Huffing, you watched his shoulders fall in defeat, “I need to think of my Clan’s future, was not when I asked… you to stay… When I w… wanted you to stay…”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・●・○・ TAG LIST:

@ohwaitimthewriter @hera-annwn @saturnnie-03 @filliandkili

@hadesbabygurl @supergoat12 @moonchild1433

@kaenalsha @unsteady-bitch @whamsworld

@yummyfanta @nuhteyam @babylockley @edynmeyer1  @callsignwidow 

@moonlightnyx

[codenamesazanka]

more Deku bashing, if you'll forgive me

Seeing lots of shocked tweets and posts that Deku seems so cold and distant about Shigaraki dying in front of him; that Deku doesn't seem to care much at all; that Deku isn't devastated he wasn't able to save that little boy.

I have to point out that Deku never cared in the first place. He really didn't! It's why he needed to see The Crying Child to feel any bit of empathy for Shigaraki, and why ever since then, he only yammers on about saving the Crying Child and only the little boy. He never gave a shit about the Shigaraki in front of him. Never treated Shigaraki like someone real to engage with. That Shigaraki is unforgivable; and it was impossible to have ever bring the Crying Child into reality because the Crying Child was a memory, it happened 15 years in the past that cannot be changed, so all Deku can do is comfort the Crying Child then beat the shit out of Shigaraki.

I mean, just look at the imagery and the word choices:

Are those the words and expressions of someone who's trying to be careful about not hurting Shigaraki? Actually trying to help someone in pain? I remember when people were excited that Danger Sense would tell Shigaraki that Deku doesn't want to hurt him - turns out nah. He was so ready to make Shigaraki throw up blood.

Deku never tried to talk to Shigaraki. He never asked any questions during the whole time they were fighting. Mirio asked a question and got a response; but Deku? Nothing. Even in the memory-realm, when Shigaraki via memory-villains ask Deku what his plan was, Deku just shouted 'No!' and that was that.

When Deku said 'Somewhere inside of you is a person' he literally meant that. Inside of Shigaraki is the Crying Child, who is the actual person. Did he catch Shigaraki saying 'Spinner will be looking forward to this' and think, 'huh, Shigaraki has someone he cares about, I think? Then he wouldn't want to destroy Spinner, would he?' No. The fan-translation got everyone's hopes up that Deku wants to 'shred the rug' of societal failures, but the official translation was correct - Deku wanted to pry the lid off Shigaraki's trauma, accusing Shigaraki of repressing himself.

If he cared about Shigaraki at all, he would've protested when Gran told him he might have to kill Shigaraki. Instead:

He would've opposed the construction of something called a SKY COFFIN DEATH ARENA. He would've spoken up when Heroes talked strategy about how AFO is the better opponent to fight, implying that it's better if AFO had taken over Shigaraki, despite Shigaraki being the victim of AFO here.

Even when he ends up saving Tenko from Decaying the Shimuras, he's utterly lackluster there. Tenko's in tears, saying that he must have wanted to kill his family, he was born with a quirk like Decay, who could ever validate his existence the way he is??? And Deku's response? "Well. Holding my hand might make you feel better. So here." Saying something like, 'No, you're a child! It's not your fault!' or 'Your quirk isn't meant for harm, it can be useful too' or 'It's okay. You're not an evil existence' seems obvious, but Deku doesn't.

and really, all this has been obvious since the Mall Encounter in Chapter 69. Remember when Shigaraki point blank told him that All Might's smile is stupid because he acts like there's no one he can't save? And it's clearly full of resentment? And Deku picked up on this, which is why next chapter he asks All Might if it's true there are times where All Might couldn't save someone.

But once Tsukauchi said, don't worry about it, Deku did just that. When he does think about it one time, it's this absolutely nothing of a reflection

"I guess we just have to agree to disagree!" Come on. And this kid has a 'drive to save that eclipses all common understanding'??? for real?????

Deku has never given a crap about Shigaraki or Villains. Honestly, him wanting to save that sad little boy might as well be just Horikoshi putting lines in his mouth to move the story along.

If Deku really did care, I think he would've wanted to save the entire person that is Shigaraki. The Crying Child is a phantom - Shigaraki is real and solid and there. The Crying Child is innocent and easy to care about because it's a cute baby and it's openly weepy; saving hand-monster junji ito twink Shigaraki who laughs and talks about destroying everything Deku loves would've been an actual challenge. But clearly we couldn't have that because even the Crying Child was too far gone for Deku to save.