#i cannot put a link into this for some reason? i just wanted to hook it to their other art I’ll try again right after I post

[3amsnek]

more aro week dragon! he’s very enthusiastic about his job <3 (flags: aromantic, demiromantic, cupioromantic, aroace, greyromantic)

click for better quality

reblogs >> likes! please don’t like if you don’t rb

[syoddeye]

more reading recs

because one post isn't enough. we are hashtag blessed with fic.

as requested, i've highlighted fics with noncon and/or dubcon elements in orange. beyond that, you are responsible for reading tags, warnings, and summaries.

pairings are indicated, although these may change or may not be established yet.

there is no method to this madness, no specific order. these are listed here as my brain remembered them.

i've checked all the links maybe three times, if they're broken, i blame tumblr's formatting.

without further ado...

Slasher Handler by @dragonnarrative-writes - Ghost x Reader

"Simon does serial killer things. What a rascal!" Another fantastically written Simon, with wonderful dashes of Gaz and Price. It's put the term 'romance knives' in my vocabulary. There are many quotable bits and moments that made my blood run cold with how normal the ~situation~ feels, but everything has to be experienced firsthand.

The Far Shore by @deadbranch - Soap x Reader

DB's fic collection is rich, and The Far Shore is no different. I fucking loved Pacific Rim, so when I saw her first mention a PR AU, I did imaginary backflips. DB's Readers are some of my favorites because of how complex and realistic they feel, and when combined with the visceral depth of the neural handshake AND Soap? Compelling. The dynamic between them is fascinating. I almost can't wait for it to be finished so I can go back and dissect it.

Falling into Place by @mortuarywriting

Morg's brought the first COD Isekai AU I've read, like a little treat, with A/B/O to boot. The first chapter hooked me and cracked me up. Their dialogue reads so well, it truly feels like I got sucked into the universe. The panicked ramblings, the over-explanation, the 'oh shit, we don't even have a shared cultural touchstone' moments. I cannot wait for more.

Carvings by @femalefemur - Price x Reader

Cyn's got this amazing thing going on called 'Top Quality Worms' where she takes me by the hand and leads me down a rabbit hole I didn't know I'd find so cozy. Carvings is one piece from her incredible list, featuring a bloody, possessive Captain Price. Somehow, out of this entire piece, Price snapping a pen really did it for me. Did someone say loss of control? Oh no, not my kryptonite!

Under Your Spell by @groguspicklejar - Gaz x Reader x Soap

This fic had me at the pairing tag. Lured me right in. No hope for me, and I'm not mad about it. The way Gaz and Soap play off of each other in Under Your Spell is spine-tingling in more ways than one. The definition of scaroused. Kelsi writes a wonderful Gaz. The first two paragraphs in part two, Split My Skin, describe him perfectly to me.

Chokehold by @ccrites - Soap x Reader

Chokehold is a chef's kiss read. Starts off as a cute and sweet gym read, and uh, well, it does get sweeter, in a way. Without spoiling anything, there is a brief cab ride that made me take a lap before things got really going for Reader. CC's Soap is a delightful tease that is tender all at the same time. I'd join his gym in a heartbeat.

Knight/Princess AU by @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world - Price x Reader

I've read and re-read this AU series a dozen times. It's so gd cute, I might need to see the dentist about how it's rotting my teeth. Seriously, it makes ME want to be a princess. Specifically Price's princess. Bear writes such a sweet and gruff Price, catch me holding a hand over my heart and just sighing. I'm also a big fan of multiple POVs and the insight into each character.

Martyr in the Making by @eilidh-eternal - Ghost x Reader

I had a tattoo touch-up the other day, and while waiting, I thought about this fic: the dream and nightmare of being tattooed by Simon and the rest of the 141. It's a dream for obvious reasons (probably unhealthy for me) and a nightmare because of, well, you'll have to read the story. Getting a tattoo can be such an intimate experience. You put yourself into someone's care and get something permanently etched onto your body. When Reader sits for Simon, you're right there with her, the two of you on an altar.

Liquid Smooth by @cordeliawhohung - Gaz x Reader

Bodyguard!Gaz save me, save me, bodyguard!Gaz. Ugh, Gaz is fucking incredible in every flavor, but there is something that hits different about the guy when he's flexing those 'VIP protection' skills. There are several tiny moments in Liquid Smooth that made me audibly whisper, "God, I wish that were me." If you have a conifer tree allergy, you might not be able to handle the god-tier pining. (I'll see myself out.)

pornstar!Gaz by @cordeliawhohung - Gaz x Reader

Gotta include the series that I drop everything for whenever I see an update. Another fantastic depiction of best man Kyle Gaz Garrick. The charm, the jealousy, the care...My personal favorite installments are Whispers and Threesomes.

plus size puppygirl!reader / Simon & Reader / Punishment by @secretsynthetic - Price x Reader x Ghost

Ghost gets his Captain a puppy, and Synth gives us a tasty Price x Reader x Ghost story. I've linked the intro and a Simon x Reader snippet, but my personal favorite is Punishment. Punishment is a deeper dive into Price the disciplinarian: "how the hell do i get a mutt like you to fuckin’ listen?" I'd gush about it, but again, this is another one to read and experience firsthand. One of my favorite recent explorations of a PriceGhost dynamic.

~~

i'll probably cobble another one of these together in may 2024. my fic backlog is something else. i blame it on all the massive talent. mwah.

[oursecretways]

Is this what you call self-care?

Felix × Reader note(s): I am at the point where I feel like playing 72 hours of Stardew Valley is perfectly reasonable, so I hope u enjoy my first fanfic. Also, idk about you, but I feel like he would def enjoy some Zelda 😌… also, this isn't the longest fic out there, but it is a short story after all. Enjoy!☻ genre(s): fluff, silce of life word count: 1,795 warning(s): light cursing Just a chill day with Felix, while you’re trying to make progress with your uni work

masterlist

It was a regular Saturday for you, waking up at 6 AM and feeling your boyfriend's arm around you. After you turn your alarm off, you turn to look at him, smiling. His long, blond hair fell into his angelic face. It is so hard to not say fuck it and stay in bed with Felix, but you—with the smallest of movements to not wake him—get out of bed, making your way to the bathroom to get ready. After you get yourself into some comfy stay-at-home-and-study clothes, you brew yourself a cup of coffee with some coconut milk.

You've been researching for your midterm paper for a while now. It wasn't the worst topic, but selecting what's important and what isn't is where you were hopeless.

After restarting it for the hundredth time, you heard movements from your bedroom. You peeked out of the study/gaming room to see Felix's tired face, which filled your heart with warmth. "Good morning, love. How did you sleep?" He looked back at you while he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "I slept well until some gremlin left from next to me way too early this morning." A smile crept up his face, reaching out for your hand so he could pull you in for a hug. He kept you close with one hand, resting his face on your head while you hid in the crook of his neck. His sweet scent filling your nose. "How's your university work going?" you scrunch your face, not even wanting to think about the research and writing your essay. "Well, I read a lot, but I do not know where to begin or what things are the necessities to put into my paper." You felt yourself wanting to throw a tantrum like the 5-year-old who you are at heart. He kissed your forehead, then put his pinky out. "Okay, I have a trade offer; once you're halfway done, we can play on our farm together." Your eyes lit up. You've been pretty hooked on Stardew Valley for a while now, especially since the new update, and you got Felix to play with you on his days off. Sadly, they've been pretty busy with their comeback, so you couldn't hang out as much. He usually got home by the time you were asleep, and you went to class or to the library to learn before he woke up, since it was soon time for your final exams. You only have one year back from your university, and you don't want setbacks, so it is important to get a good grade. Your parents would be pleased as well since you flew to another city to learn specifically there, so you want to make them proud. You link your pinkies together to form an unbreakable promise. "Okay, but no distractions! If you want to play, please play in the living room; we both know I won't ever finish my assignment with you distracting me." He chuckles and nods his head in agreement. You happily made yourself another cup of coffee, then went back to the study to work on your task. You still cannot believe it that you somehow snagged such a perfect man: he is supportive, understands your concerns, and can always accept your compromises. He openly talks to you about how he feels and bravely tells you if something bothers or concerns him. You honestly can't believe these past couple years have been real.

You've made a bit of progress; it helped that you talked with your old dorm roommates—you moved in with Felix about half a year now; you two realized that it would be the easiest since you went over any given chance anyways. They gave some good suggestions. Once you caught up with each other, you four said your goodbyes, since all of you have a lot of work to get done by the end of this month. After some time, you smelled a sweet scent coming from the kitchen. The door opened before you could sneak out to have a peek. Felix brought in your favorite cookies; it was a mixture of his classic chocolate chip and your oatmeal cookies recipe. You two perfected it while he got some time off, and you didn't have school just yet. His brown eyes looked at you proudly behind the plate of cookies with milk in his other hand. "How's your progress, baby?" He bent down to give you a peck on the lips. You waited until he put the plate and the cup down, then patted the ground next to you, signaling for him to sit down. He didn't waste any seconds, and plopped right next to you, happy that he could sit beside his girlfriend. Felix didn't want to make you feel pressured; he just wants to spend as much time as possible with you before he has to go back to endless dance practice, content creation, etcetera. You both know he loves doing what he does, but it can get overwhelming sometimes. They got cussed out a lot for the smallest of things, getting bullied and going as far as getting death treats. He was grateful for being able to work his dream job, and he is also happy that you understand what this kind of life comes with.

Felix watched you type your thoughts out in your document and started to play with your hair, which made you relax instantly. You couldn't help but melt into his touch. You leaned onto his shoulder, feeling exhausted. "I am almost done with half of my assignment; I just need another page, but I feel like my brain cells are giving up on me." He chuckled, placing a kiss on your head. "You got this; I believe in you." He started giving kisses all around your face, which soothed your tired thoughts. Felix eventually kissed your lips; the kiss was sweet and made you feel like you're under the sun at the beginning of the spring. You reciprocated immediately, feeling as though time had stopped—no tasks, no school, no pressure—just you and him tangled together in a complete state of Nirvana. Before it could get heated, Lixie pulled away, holding you firmly, so he kept up his strenght to not distract you further. "Is it okay if I play Zelda while I lay in your lap?" You saw a hint of pink on his face, making you smile. "Well, I am close to finishing it, so why not? I don't think it can cause any harm." Felix got up excitedly to get his switch with his headphones. He laid down and got comfortable, then started playing his game. He has been quite into it lately. The game was beautiful, and there were a lot of things to do. The excitement in him got you into playing it, asking for his help in some harder situations.

When you got done with half of your paper, you looked down and saw a sleeping Felix with a gaming console on the ground next to him. He looked so peaceful like this: his pink lips parted, his eyelashes casting shadows on his face, and his freckles painting constellations onto his features. You can't help but start connecting the dots on his face with your fingers, making his eyes flutter as he awakens. "What are you doing, gorgeous?" You lean down to kiss him as a response. You feel like you're going to explode with all the feelings inside your chest. "I am done with half of my paper; I didn't want to wake you, sorry." You pout just a little, earning a smile as he reaches for your face to caress it. "That's my good girl. Are you ready for some farming time?" You nod, knowing that you're going to end up either playing until the sun gets up again or none at all and will end up cuddling in bed.

You two made some lunch and plopped down besides each other. Your desks have been set against one another, his PC taking up one desk while yours is cluttered by notes and books for your university courses; you just keep pushing it back each time you take your laptop out instead of organizing it. Felix tried to reason with you or help with that mess, but that's how you were, looking unorganized yet knowing exactly what is where, always on point. That's what your grades always reflect: perfect or almost perfect scores, even though you procrastinate until the last minute. He smiled to himself, knowing how he and the boys wished they had this superpower.

You put on your two's favorite chill playlist and booted up the game. We made a lot of progress, stopping to occasionally show physical affection for each other or taking a quick bathroom or snack break. I didn't even notice how the time flied until you looked down on your watch, seeing that it had passed five a.m. "Yongbok, we have a problem. Have you checked the time?" He has been so into the game that he almost looked up into the corner to see the in-game time, realizing that this might become a problem in the future. "Oh shit, I didn't notice when it got this late. I mean, I am going to be okay; I won't work for a couple of days now, but when do you need to send this assignment in?" he asked, knowing damn well that you have a habit of sending in your tasks with one minute left on the clock, giving him a scare. One time, Chan got to see your study progress and felt his soul leave his body. He still remembers how he and Han watched how their leader scolded you about your academics and your attitude towards your learning, painting a picture of an overworked father lecturing his rebellious daughter, who—no matter what she's doing—will always be his treasure. It never got said out loud, but you became the younger sister of the group, with all the older members looking out for your happiness and safety. And Felix isn't sure that if you two ever break up—which, let's face it, is highly unlikely—he wouldn't get the shorter stick and wouldn't get scolded.

Once you two saved and logged off for the day, got ready for bed, you snuggled close to each other leaving sweet kisses on one another, fighting the strong urge to sleep. When he heard your breathing change, he knew that you were fast asleep, what he waited for all along. It makes him happy and calm, knowing you are asleep. He pressed a light kiss on your forehead.

"Good night, my love," and with that, he dozed off to sleep as well.

[niseag-arts]

Leeuwenhoek Lore Dump

since I am doing this now appearently, Have some Leeuw.

Welcome to "How the fuck has Nurgle not claimed this idiot yet" Name: Leeuwenhoek, after Antoni van Leeuwenhoek, who is considered the father of microbiology. literally means lion's corner but that is unrelated. Pronounce Lay-wun-hook. History and things: early life is still WIP up to the point where Leeuwenhoek was recruited into the Legiones skitarii. Being naturally lithe, he was made into a Pteraxius and put through all the nessecary augmentations: he was given wings, had his limbs replaced, eyelids removed and all that good stuff, as well as linked to a magos for recieving command orders. He served as such for a good couple of years, but his overseers very quickly found out that their new pteraxii recruit displayed signs of incredible intelligence and natural curiosity. Going against their protocols for the potential of this recruit, the young Leeuwenhoek was pulled from the Legiones and inducted into the cult mechanicus. and Leeuw took to this so hard... He quickly joined the ordo biologis and his fascination and obsession blossommed. Life as a Magos: If it's a pathogen, Leeuwenhoek is studying it. And he's crossbreeding different strains, just to see what will happen. Do not go into his lab unannounced unless you no longer have airways to worry about, whatever is airborne in there should NOT be inhaled. Oh and, for the love of the machine god, don't spook him! His reflexes have dulled a bit since his time as a pteraxii but the augmentations are still in place, and if you scare him he will instinctively fly up, dropping whatever is in his hands at that moment, which is likely a vial of some variety. however, If you do announce that you're coming over, Leeuw will sanitise the place first and welcome you happily, though keeping him from his work is hard and he's very likely to start infodumping about his latest projects. Many of his peers are uncomfortable around him for this reason, not really wanting to hear someone getting super excited about the latest strain of tyranid cancer, which in turn results in Leeuw being somewhat lonely. He has minor beef with the magos dominus that used to be his overseer, as the augmentations brain-linking them are still in place, much to their mutual distate. They don't dislike each other personally, personally, they just dislike the situation. Being a former pteraxii, a disease specialist and a loyal servant of the imperium, leeuwenhoek is occasionally deployed like a human cropduster, a tool in biological warfare. He is uncanny when observing the results of his work, he gets all giddy and excited and will forget to eat or sleep. Luckily for him he has a loving partner that will remind him of such things, and her presence also forces him to keep himself clean and on top of his lab safety, he does not want to risk harming her. notes on his augmentations: He used to be a pteraxii sterylisor. He has replaced his knife-feet with a model that at least allows him to walk. He sleeps perched like a bird, the wingpack making it impossible to lay down comfortably. the "beak" of his face is the result of the many, many airfilters and sensors that have been placed in front of his airways. He cannot remove these and has to eat by means of injections. feel free to ask things about him :)

[gryphonlover]

Which Link is most likely to go to band camp?

So first of all this is a delightful question. Second of all I am about to put way too much thought into this because I was a music kid myself.

Putting up a read more because this is... long. 😅

Wind -- Honestly, I feel like he wouldn't be in band in the first place. So no band camp for him. However, I do think he'd be in orchestra or choir, probably spending most of his time conducting because, you know, he's the Wind Waker guy and can't play any instruments. The closet he'd get to that is music theory.

Spirit -- Don't question why he's here, I love him too much to leave him on the sidelines. He's got the spirit flute, which is a woodwind because it's a pan flute. Which is, unfortunately, not really useful in a band. It's too quiet and no one plays the pan flute these days. I think he likes playing since he tried it, but the spirit flute is a tool, and he's not really interested in seriously studying music. He keeps it to himself and doesn't play for anyone else because he's shy about it.

Warriors -- There is technically an ocarina in his game, but I kind of doubt he can play more than a single scale on it. He really doesn't seem like the type to pick up an instrument on purpose. He knows how to not break things, but that's it. He's the token non-musician friend in the group.

Twilight -- The only instruments in his game are the "horse calls" which I'm assuming are just carved versions of horse grass. Anyway, he obviously can play that thing, and since he's a farm kid it's likely that singing solo and in a choir is the most common form of music in the area. And even though some instruments would be accessible in his area, I don't think he'd be the kind of guy to be in a band. Plus, he's a wolf half the time so I think he'd be better suited to choir.

Time -- So first of all, there is no way this man can read sheet music. You cannot convince me otherwise. He plays everything by ear and no one knows if it's because he has perfect pitch or because he's just been playing for so long. Obviously, he plays the ocarina but I think he probably picked up the woodblock and xylophone as a kid. He's most proficient in woodwinds and percussion, but has tried literally every instrument he has seen and is enamored with Legend's collection. He plays as a hobby, but in a modern AU I can see him being a camp counselor who's not technically supposed to be teaching the kids but will behind the instructor's backs just because he can and the kids love playing the music from Star Wars and Mission Impossible.

Wild -- He is 100% in love with maracas. It's a problem. He takes them everywhere and is ready to play at a moment's notice. Every time someone asks if he can play music he says yes and shows off his maracas. He enables Sky and the two of them are the problem kids.

Legend -- You name it, he probably has it in his basement. He's that kid who either is a music prodigy or has musician parents. Everyone knows he has perfect pitch despite his best efforts to keep it a secret. I doubt he'd willingly go to band camp, but ends up going anyway because Ravio needs the emotional support and it's not like it's hard for him since he's been playing for a long time. He's been in bands, orchestras, trios, duets, and solos so this'll be a piece of cake.

Sky -- He has devoted himself to the harp after Sun got him hooked. People have tried to get him to play "something more reasonable" more than once but he continues to insist on lugging his harp around. He is absolutely incorrigible and no band director wants him because harps don't belong in bands. He prefers playing solo or as accompaniment anyway.

Four -- He can obviously play the instruments in his games, duh, but I'm ignoring that because he is literally a quartet-in-a-trenchcoat. Vio would be the type to play the viola and shoots death glares at anyone who dislikes the viola. Green would be the cellist and is silently suffering as a result but loves his instrument anyway. Red and Blue are both violinists, but Blue would also be a good option for the double bass if he was taller. Red likes to play anything, but prefers to carry the violin harmony and has a strong vibrato. Blue plays lots of very complicated parts with quick tempos and grace notes. None of them like playing solo, but they can't keep the beat with anyone else so they'd be awful in band or orchestra and know it.

Hyrule -- He can play the flute (poorly) and takes lessons with Dawn and Aurora who double as his accompaniment and tutors. He's not proficient enough to go to band camp, but he tries his hardest to play with anyone who wants to play with him. He usually plays with Sky or Wild. No one has the heart to tell him he's bad at sight reading because he tries his hardest.

[mirith]

Bet.

Apologies for the messy background, but here's my lovely knitting machine! It's a Silver Reed SK10.

While writing another post, I noticed I was writing a lot about my knitting machine. So I put the words here. And added a lot more.

This is going to be a long post. I talk a lot about things I like, and I will not apologize for it. I will add a cut here so you can scroll by this more easily if you want. But! It'll be more fun if you read on! And I put photos of stuff I made at the end!

I learned to knit by hand from a book in elementary school, and I learned wrong. I have been happily hand-knitting things ever since, and consider myself a fairly knowledgeable and experience hand-knitter. I haven't steeked anything, to be fair, but my interests tend to be geared toward lace.

Which is good, because that's my default handspinning weight. Here's an example of the stuff I like to spin and knit (4 months from start to end, oof oof):

After I graduated college, I found out about flatbed knitting machines! I found one that looked cool, and drove myself a few hours to buy it. The end. Just kidding. You're not even halfway through this post. Not sorry.

I did not know how to operate a knitting machine. I just liked how this one looked (still do) and it also had a ribber! And it was $50? Something like that? Probably paid more for gas.

Anyway. Flatbed knitting machines range from "I can only do stockinette hehe" to "I am fully electronic, I'll knit lace or colorwork for you all by myself, EZ".

Mine is firmly in the former camp. No punchcard capability at all, and the ribber carriage is not even sophisticated enough to link up with the main bed carriage. Each row of ribbing requires the main bed carriage to be moved first (laying yarn across the ribber needles), then the ribber carriage (hooking the previously laid yarn down to complete the row). So knitting in the round is, yes, one pass of the main, then the ribber, then the main again, then the ribber carriage... (I actually made a lil' youtube video about this).

I cannot tell you why I wanted it, other than "new yarn thing!". At this point in my life, I was a very comfortable hand-knitter. There was no reason to acquire a large metal object that would do what I did, but "less good" (considering this machine would only ever do stockinette and hand-manipulated stitches -- but I didn't know tuck stitches existed!).

Tuck stitches look like the honeycomb pattern in the middle here, and are kind of knitting machine exclusive:

I think I actually may have wanted a circular sock machine, but those are very, very expensive, and not really in my price range. Still aren't. Very much considering adding one to my wedding registry to see if someone bites. (Would have to plan a wedding, but it would be worth it).

I figured that a flatbed machine with a ribber could knit in circles, ie, what CSMs do; but would also knit large flat things (CSMs can do small flat things, I think). And since the price meant a CSM was unrealistic without some serious saving, it was clear I would have to find a flatbed with ribber.

But working knitting machines with working ribbers are difficult to find. And expensive! I think prices were $350-500 for the full package plus shipping (expensive shipping because these are bulky and heavy and delicate instruments), and I'm sure they've only gotten worse.

I kind of live in a domestic craft desert, so there was very little hope for finding something local anyway. So when I saw a working machine with a ribber "near" me for less than $100, I was stoked. I was aware of its non-ability to pattern, but I just wanted to knit in circles.

When I got this machine, it was functional, but dirty. Oh, so dirty.

First thing I did was remove all the needles (took forever) and soak them in isopropyl alcohol (smelled terrible), and take everything apart as much as possible to scrub every reachable surface.

It was then that I re-affirmed my love for all-metal, vintage hardware. My sewing machine is a 1950s Singer and oh boy is that thing an absolute unit. This knitting machine is also an absolute unit in the best way. It was dirty, but in excellent knitting condition.

It was then that I also found this machine does not have a sponge bar. Which is really weird for a knitting machine. But also why I'll never get rid of it, I think.

It's got a metal U-shaped thing instead, to tension the needles. Sponge bars serve the same purpose, but the foam decays terribly over time. I don't think this metal thing ever needs to be replaced. I've knit quite a lot (will get to that!) on this machine and it knits beautifully still.

I think this machine predates sponge bars (??? pure speculation), because everything I've seen online about buying used machines says that you must consider the sponge bar and how to measure the sponge to buy the correct size and must immediately buy a new one and maybe even have a spare for when yours starts to get old etc etc. Never seen anything that says there's a metal tension rod like mine.

Ravelry did not believe this was the sponge bar equivalent, and asked me to please look elsewhere on the machine for the real sponge bar. They also told me this machine was not worth $50, which I kind of disagree with. Yes, it's super limited, but I love it. It will also, like my sewing machine, probably outlive me.

It's a standard gauge machine, and not a very common one (?). I think it's an earlier machine (4th oldest on this list), in terms of domestic machines, and likely was passed up in later years for models that had punchcards. There is another internet presence who has an SK10! KinoKnits did a video on hers.

There is a manual for the machine and a manual for the ribber online, and the scans aren't great, but they are very readable. Not much else though.

Okay. Infodump mostly completed.

Once I got the machine home I immediately set it up and realized I didn't quite know what I was doing.

After much trial and tribulation, I created some... things...

I optimistically cast on with my newly-learned e-wrap cast on and the included cast on wire (I have still not figured out the cast on wires, I don't think they actually work, and are simply a cruel prank)

I switched yarn (to something thinner and less elastic), in case that was the issue, and also switched to trying just i-cord to see if I could get that to work. It worked!

Switched back to the original yarn. I-cord also worked!

And back to trying fabric. Progress! But a lot of dropped stitches. I think this was very similar to attempt 1, but I just persisted and more aggressively picked up droppped stitches. This took me a very long time.

No dropped stitches! I used a weird cast on, or maybe just a really loose e-wrap?

Fabrice! I was confident enough to mark that I was using tension 7 with those (intentional!) yarn-over holes near the top.

I believe that those six attempts took me a few hours, and a lot of it was me trying to gauge whether or not yanking the carriage across was the right thing to do. I wasn't sure how much force to apply, and was deathly afraid of breaking needles, because I don't think these are standard ones and I can't get replacements.

There wasn't much to learn after this.

Oh.

Except for, you know, using the ribber.

It looks pretty similar to the main needle bed. Long metal guy with lotta needles. It's flatter, and hangs off the main bed with some sturdy arms on either side (which you can't see, sorry).

Close up:

You kind of have to wiggle it so that the needles don't smash into each other.

It does function identically to the main bed otherwise. But it's so much trickier to fix dropped stitches (or even see them!) because, as you can see, the ribber kind of covers everything. And it doesn't come off till the ribbing is done.

I've found that I need lots of weight to get the ribbing to knit off properly, which sucks if I run either carriage across without yarn accidentally. The knitting will simply yeet itself onto the floor and I will have to start over.

The cast on is kind of weird, but not terrible if you understand what it's trying to do, which I do, but will not endeavour to explain on this already horrendously long post. The Singer SR10 manual explains the cast-on process if you're interested. Or just tell me and I'll make another infodump post! Love talking about my knitting machine.

Here are some first attempts at ribbing and tubular knitting:

Allllllrighty it's project time!

I made a hat! (I made it a free Ravelry pattern btw, because the decreases are optionally worked by hand).

I made some sock tubes and hand-knit the heels and toes!

I made a bunch of ribbed cowls with my handspun!

I made scarves with more handspun!

And most recently I made a bralette:

Which turned out smaller than I planned because I do not gauge swatch properly at all, but I can wear it semi-modestly anyway.

[thenixkat]

there's a neuro link into the weapons ok so the shit is giving people brain damage when they overclock

ok yeah the kaiju are just part of the ecosystem if you've reliably got the same types of fuckers showing up on the surface in the same area every few years

the underground ecosystem must be wild

ah yeah uh Ichikawa is not ok that his friends have gotten hurt or captured and he wasnt strong enough to do shit about it. Is getting lost in the kaiju sauce with that suit and cooking his brain in trying to draw out more power

getting hooked up to big power causes folks to loose fetters and forget they're squishy humans that's still semi responsible

local teen cannot control himself while hooked up to big power on the battle field

Ichikawa broke his own leg bc putting out more power than squishy human can handle in supersuit

also maybe some therapy would help this kid cause boy pls

ok Iharu got through to the kid

not he power of friendshipped his way into getting this boy to snap out of it

i would like an explanation as to why Iharu has shark teeth. Weird hair colors I'm not gonna bat an eye at but shark teeth need an explanation oh hey an adult finally tells Ichikawa that he doesnt have to do everything himself, the adults can do shit

yeah just every indication that unleashed combat potential is a brain-related thing is just..

using superspeed to hi five yer bud

just because he's a soldier doesnt mean he's not 18. a baby. Its reasonable for Kafka to be worried about his much younger friend being a Numbers weapons user b/c one with lots of experience just got ate for being a Numbers weapons user by no 9.

like no9 specifically wants to assimilate Numbers users to gain their bonded kaijus' power that's what it wants. Its reasonable to not be ok with making a child into something the enemy wants to eat specifically, even if yall need the manpower Kafka's not ok with folks only wanting him for being a strong kaiju

[narlowemcfarlowe]

I don't have enough fully functioning braincells in my head right now to list specific questions, but I have questions :D

At your leisure, could you info dump about your ocs, tallest Omanje and Kreit and if/when how they come to know each other?

First off, I just want to let you know that the Invader Zim AU is highly based off of @messinwitheddie's, with just a few slight differences her and there. It's honestly just my own interpretation of theirs. I'll provide some links to some of my previous posts that are a little more in-depth too, hopefully they'll work.

Omanje was the final tallest of his hive, hive Creshaw. Due to the hive's isolated location, being situated in a dense tropical grassland oasis deep within the harsh deserts of No Drone's Zone, it was far less militaristic than other hives at the time of the late 2nd era. Although technology was lagging behind from the lack of contact from outsiders, the air was cleaner and drones had far more free time on their hands. Omanje, being born physically disabled, was cherished and rehabilitated by his community, causing him to have a strong passion for medicine and health once he was measured tallest. He strove to innovate healthcare and had a strong love for familial bonding, so he took extra measures in the care of pregnant drones, almost eradicating infant and maternal deaths altogether. His hive was eventually destroyed by tallest Kii's forces soon after she joined the alliance Hitz and Soxx. Omanje and the remaining survivors of the destruction found refuge in a mysterious underground hive. Although he continued to spread his medical intellect to the new hive and grew to become a beloved figure, he was deeply traumatized by the loss of his fellow drones.

I made Kreit long before I joined tumblr, I originally made her as a self-indulgent/joke character who just wanted to hook up with Red and Purple. However, I wanted to include her in the AU as well and flesh her out. She is put in charge of managing Irk (,just the planet itself, not the empire,) while Red and Purple are away on the Massive with the armada. She has a strong desire for intimacy and finding a deeper meaning to her life, both of which are inhibited and forbidden by the tyrannical regime of the control brains. Although Kreit's job mostly involves interacting with Hitz, the red control brain, Kii, now the green "mother" brain, has taken a keen interest in Kreit. Kii is fixated on the rarer female rulers in the Irken empire. Much like late Miyuki, she wants to mold Kreit into a cold-blooded, genocidal ruler. However, despite Kreit's naive appearance, she's far more cunning and defiant, despising Kii for her self-centered hysterics and violent tendencies.

Omanje has been dead for tens of thousands of years by the time Kreit is given the role of looking over Irk. Even in death he cannot find peace. When he's not mourning the loss of old Irk, he tries to comfort those he considers lost or distressed. He occasionally visits Kreit for this reason. Since superstitions are widely dismissed in the Irken empire, she first dismisses his visits as hallucinations or some sort of error in her pak. Despite this, she doesn't report the issues to the brains as she considers them a form of escapism from her daily routine. Her desires for love and purpose are only made greater by Omanje's presence, as she is taken through supernatural flashbacks depicting how life on hive Creshaw once was, full of beauty and intimacy.

[pngboomer]

Things that help with focus/productivity, while I'm thinking about it.

This is by no means a comprehensive list but as someone who struggles with keeping up with workflow (especially going back to college), and balancing taking real breaks and how my brain works/keeps up with tasks, I've tried a lot of different apps, methods, and other such stuff -- especially stuff targeted toward ADHD brains and such.

So here is a non-exhaustive list of things I've tried and my rough opinions on them. A Disclaimer: I prefer handwriting things and tend to lose or forget things if they are on a screen. So please take any application/browser use with that grain of salt.

Notion

Calendar, wiki-maker, to-do list tracker, automation and innovation that excites. I get very overwhelmed in Notion, there's so much you can do there, but I get the interest in how it works and such. I use it to track my reading list (a snippet shown below) and a few other things that I don't really want to put somewhere else (because the tables on Notion auto-format, which is nice), so it's like a good 4/10 for me.

Obsidian

The markdown file creator and organization vault system. It's daunting to get into, a bit confusing at first, but there's a ton of videos on how to get started and how to get organized and it's so nice to have everything link together in a way that follows a legitimate train of thought. You will have to force it to be your second brain, but I like it so much better than other note-taking apps. 9/10 (it is so terrifying to get into). Bonus, though, look at my baby:

Google Calendar

yanno, one of the OGs. I want to use Microsoft calendar but that application has crashed every device I have tried to open it on. Google Calendar is good for organizing events, doing all the stuff calendar's do, and setting up recurring events and editing them with little hassle. I don't work in a team or need anyone to look at my calendar's except me, so I can't speak to that functionality, but I know it's used by a lot of people for that reason. 7/10 just because I only recently learned how to customize colors.

Microsoft Calendar

just to be fair. It would be an amazing application: integrated to-do list that is in-app, a very clean weekly look, sticky notes, all of it is hooked directly into the window you're looking at your emails at, it can auto-set reminders on a separate tab for you. Except, again, it has crashed every single piece of technology I own, including my university desktops. Just from opening it. 2/10 for wasted potential. If it works for you, I am so happy for you, but I cannot get it to work for me and that's what I'm focused on here.

Bullet Journaling

Another classic. Ryder Carrol was on something else. Quick, efficient, a great way to use up the notebooks you bought that you swore you'd use and then didn't touch for months because it "wasn't the right thing to use it for". You don't need the special dot-grid book, you don't need fancy fucking layouts. You just need a pen, some kind of notebook, and a list of things you need to get done. I love being extra about it, but there's no reason to. It's a good planner, I like having a physical copy of my life to look at and organize my thoughts with, and it's fun to do. 9/10 for easy onboarding and versatile creativity.

Various "Calendar/tracker/etc" Apps

I've gone through the gauntlet on these. Productivity apps that "plant a tree" so long as you don't use your phone so you can get stuff done, group calendar programs and browser applications, minimalist to-do lists on your phone, maximalist to-do lists on your phone, Habitica, etc. Fully ymmv on any of those, I do recommend checking out the to-do lists if you need them, but unless you have a team to manage, you don't need a calendar that isn't Google/iCal/Microsoft realistically.

Sticky Notes

Bad. Terrible idea. I hate doing it, I never remember them, and it feels wasteful. If it works for you, I'm so happy for you (genuine), but I hate it. 1/10.

White Board

Like a physical one. Full opposite of Sticky Notes, I'm not gonna lie. It's delightful, I love having it, it's not wasteful in the same way, and there's a satisfaction to erasing shit off that board. If you can afford a big one, get a big one. I have a desk one and I love it it's so nice to have. 10/10 no notes.

There's not a lot else I can think of at the moment, but thank you for reading if you've gotten this far. I do have YouTube recommendations if you would like to learn to use (say) Obsidian or Notion. I also have videos on formatting Google Calendar.

[grayintogreen]

YCDHN LINER NOTES: Chapter Two

WHO'S READY TO DELVE INTO SOME ~MIND RAPE~ TERRITORY. So this chapter is a rough one emotionally and an exhausting tense action-packed drama bomb so like we're right out of the gate getting walloped with action compared to the slow burn of OUADYA. The stakes are higher here (though I will promise that Chapter Three is a breather ep). I do love a good breather ep.

SO LET'S GET INTO MY THOUGHT PROCESS. Put under a cut for people who haven't read yet.

[INCEPTION NOISE]

Lucien's Mindfuck sequences were planned out around the time I first started conceiving of this fic and were one of the clearest images I had. The idea of the Somnovem systematically digging through Lucien's mind to find something that could break him seemed like the most devious form of torture they could think up. Also it establishes that his connection to them goes both ways- he can sort methodically through the many minds of Cognouza, but he's just ONE mind and they're all working together to get into his.

Also it introduces a third layer to Cognouza- we have the flesh layer, the dream layer beneath it, and then Lucien's own mind, which has its own tiers. Gunshot gunshot cash register noise inception gong. No matter what happens, Lucien has been hooked into Cognouza so deeply and so long that he's like a secondary organ, so you can imagine why they're not happy to let go of their extra brain who is both liberated and snared at the same time.

The repeated refrain of "this isn't how it happens" is all Tamsyn Muir, and I will admit that reading Harrow the Ninth definitely contributed a lot to how those dream sequences played out.

I had a very specific image in mind for the opening scene of Lucien on the altar and it's basically Asuka's death scene from End of Evangelion- seen in screencap form here. What you can't see is her mind-linked giant robot being disemboweled while she's still synced to it. That's what I wanted the experience to feel like for him. The absolute helplessness of knowing this isn't happening to YOU but it feels like it is because your brain is processing it like it is.

Also I just don't think you can do a Mind Rape scene without referencing Eva just a bit once you've seen it. That shit sticks with you.

Incidentally, the commentaries on the old Eva movies are how I first learned about Taliesin Jaffe's existence and started idolizing his brain. It has been very strange several years realizing he's more than just a little guy talking about Babylonian myths in an audio commentary.

The ink splatter butterfly aspect of the Somnovem Omega (and boy do I just love making up new aspects to creepify them. I watch a lot of horror movies. My brain is scary) is based on The Darkness from the 1999 House on Haunted Hill remake, seen here:

Incidentally I cannot believe I found a gif of that.

The people chosen for Lucien's dream up until Gaudius throws in the dick move are all, in some form or fashion, his abusers or, in Derrin's case, just someone he thought didn't give him his due (which lead to leaving the Orders). There's a reason why Derrin was the first and least violent kill, whereas Lucien went to town on Reese and Dodger.

(He doesn't get to kill Vess because he never gets to kill Vess in this universe.)

It was important that Lucien resist the attempts to break him with his abusers and then crumble under the face of love, like if you accept that love is what makes people, then you have to accept that the opposite is true. Lucien's start of darkness began with Heather's death. There's a part of him that still rationalizes that he would have been fine if she had lived, but she didn't and that's HER fault, not his own for never processing it properly because he was a terrified child. And because he never processed that grief properly, of course that's going to be what gets him in the end- the idea that he could have her love and safety and not have to fight so hard anymore.

Go on and ask me again why I like my headcanon better than what's presented in the book. I THOUGHT VERY HARD ON IT.

THE HAPPY FUN BALL OF NIGHTMARES

You'll notice that I just went apeshit on the order of operations here- most of the stuff that happens in this chapter are things that happen in the Permaheart/Save Yussa plotline, which is going to happen, but I wanted a really dynamic fight scene to make the dragon more pressing since the Nein are level 12 right now, and the scribe mites and the froghemoths were cool.

Also I just refuse to be sensible about things that happen in canon and will absolutely shake them up. These are not the canon events you're looking for. Any resemblance is just me vibing with that and using it.

I know this whole fic is about contrived coincidences and fate pushing the Nein in a way, but I really did think that them stumbling upon the means for soul transference in ANY OTHER context would have been weird, but the HFB has already been established as having a really random connection to something they'll deal with later and Halas WAS trying to do immortality experiments and he'd need to know how to transfer souls to get his soul in one of his clone bodies.

But also I love the idea that the villains can manipulate events in their favor too and the fact that the Permaheart IS in there and it would fuck up their plans if the Nein found it adds a layer of hubris to the whole thing.

The "fantasy prepper" larder scene was just for fun but come on guys THE HFB IS BASICALLY A BOMB SHELTER. There's totally random ass canned food and freeze dried jerky in there along with his vegetable garden.

AND NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE LITTLE RED DOT. So I have thought a long time about that dot and I think everyone thinks it's meant to be Cognouza and it could be still, but Cognouza doesn't have a fixed location and it would have JUST HAPPENED when Halas constructed the Heirloom Sphere. Yeah, he was doing experiments in an astral dreadnought but the way he talks to Caleb suggests he's never seen the city in the astral sea. So what the fuck ELSE could it be.

Well, you'll notice Molly heard chains before he touched it and something Tharizdun-shaped happened to the Somnovem and Cognouza when the psychic storm hit, so I'm sure that's not important or anything.

And that does it for these liner notes unless anyone has [David Pumpkins voice] any questionssss... I will answer just about anything that isn't spoilery, honestly. I have a lot of thoughts.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 20. (enchantedchocolatebars)

hi!! i know its taken me a bit to answer this but here we go!!

(Here is the original ask game for those who want to see it or reblog it themselves. It is super fun!)

I have also already answered these questions as follows: 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 16, 19, 20

To those questions that are duplicates, I'll substitute with unanswered ones so I can still get through the questions I haven't yet!

13.) Which season do you like best?

That's a tough question!! In hindsight I really enjoy S1 for the nostalgia factor just because of how much it meant to me and helped traverse me into the rabbit hole of this entire fandom- I will admit that it's not as plot driven as S2. However while I do think S2 is better than S1 in that aspect... I'm going to have to say S3 for right now. I know it's short, and my favorite season changes a lot but I think just how everything ended... It's not bad, it's got lumity, and it's super plot driven.

I do admit though Kings Tide and Clouds on The Horizon though!! If they were in S3 it'd easily tip S3 over into being by far the best but also I just forget about the chokehold Enchanting Grom Fright had too!!! S3 for now.

14.) Do you like aus? Any aus by someone else that are a favorite of yours? Do you have any of your own?

I love aus!! They're so fun to both write and read. I always find them interesting to see how others portray the characters and in what roles they play. Of course I almost always lean toward reading Lumity-centered fics because I love seeing those two fall in love.

It's giving "I will love you in every timeline" energy, and as someone whos favorite trope is reincarnated soulmates/lovers it checks out.

In terms to some of my favorite aus? I have a few I'll link below, but I have a few of my own that I've came up with (more so specifically my vampire one that was created out of sort of spite for not seeing something I wanted to see- I'll give a brief thing but in 2020 it was uncommon to find vampire toh fics where Amity was the vampire and not Luz. Me being me wanted to see if I could turn that idea into something and well.. Here I am.

When I get more aus done, I'll come back with more for that but here are some of my favorites and I highly recommend and LOVE to hear or have talks about them (no one ever talks about them with me and grrr!!! I love talking abt lumity fanfiction)

1.) learning how to be (with you by my side)- uniqueusernamegenerator [A COLLEGE LUMITY AU THAT I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS FIC. READ THIS PLEASE ARGHHH!!!!! I AM BLASTING THIS AUTHOR WITH SO MUCH LOVE BECAUSE I LOVE THIS ONE SM.]

2.) I'll Catch You - Black_Cat_Autumn - [A soulmark band au where Luz and Amity have matching words but neither know apart from the fact that Luz wrote a song about hers in hopes to find her soulmate. Beautifully written!! I absolutely loved this when I read it, I cannot give it enough praise for having such a sweet ending. I literally devoured this fic in a day or so because I was so hooked. So invested. The ending!! I have the last little quote screenshotted in my phone somewhere because I love it sm!! This au was awesome.]

3.) all I've got is my heart (and pride) [Mechanic Luz, that also has an EXTREMELY amazing description of autisim and ADHD. I love the analogy that the author has about the bees. Everything about this fic was amazing and I guarentee that you will not be able to put it down once you start it. Everyone I show this fic to always tells me they literally stay up reading it. Everything about it, I love. INCLUDING the implication of NONBINARY LUZ!!!! My heart, this fic is awesome and not to be overlooked even if the summary isn't the best at capturing its contents <3]

15.) Favorite antagonist? Why?

AMITY!!! For many reasons but her character development shows a lot throughout the changes she goes through. Also Lilith for the same reason, but I wish we had more time to properly explore that growth because I love Lilith, but dear titan that arc was rushed.

Amity because while it MAY be an easy answer, her entire character changes, but not in the way that fits Luz but in a way that grows with her. Luz sees Amity for who she is and throughout her development we see her changing into finding her own voice and finding/being who she wants to be.

16.) Common theory that you disagree with?

I have already answered this question here.

I will substitute this question with 18 I won't answer them out of order lengthwise because it'll annoy me.

17.) Character you want to like, but don't? Why?

This is going to be such a hot take but Hunter. I get the love people have for him, but I just feel like the fandom glamorizes him in spaces that make it almost feel toxic in a way. I get the whole character arc of wanting to love and appreciate his development but some people in this fandom (NOT ON HERE!!) that I've came into contact within passing have just taken liking him way too far. I don't see people appreciating Gus enough or Vee. Instead, its Hunter- Which IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE, and everyone is allowed to have opinions, I just feel like some people take it too far. Thankfully everyone here is pretty chill and like Hunter isn't down my throat as hard. Plus his fanart is really cool too.

I'm indifferent to him more so now but hes just not my FAVORITE character but I do see his appeal. I'm just not diehard kin. Hunter kins scare me too, like are yall okay over there?? Get some sleep with those eyebags.

Like hes cool!! I just don't love him enough to be obsessed over him, but complete props to those who are, and I appreciate all the talent yall give for creating art about him. I know that even if hes not my favorite, he doesn't have to be because there are people who understand and relate and love him and that's a good thing. He deserves to be loved, I hope that makes sense??? I promise I'm not trying to bash him.

18.) Character you used to dislike, and now like? What changed your mind?

Lilith??? I just think her growth (even if small in comparison to Hunter's and Amitys) through the time we saw her helped to shift the story in a more interesting light (pun intended). I think while yeah, I did really REALLY hate her in the beginning because she was a complete bitch-- We really grew to see her in a different way and how she overall turned the tide of things. I really wonder things about the curse still though.

Also cannon aroace character?? HELLO??? SO SLAY. I love that representation.

20.) Which character do you relate to most?

I have already answered that question here.

Thank you for the ask again. I know it was a bit lengthy but yeah!!

[splatoon-sideblog]

I am really intrigued by this theory, and it furthermore made me wonder about the other characters we've seen so far in Side Order, namely Eight, Acht, and especially Pearl. We know from the Nintendo Magazine that the drone is Pearl, and that she has transformed into one somehow. I am curious about why her, exactly. Acht says they're "just another bystander who's been sucked in", and as far as I know we have not yet gotten any confirmation on how Eight and Pearl ended up in this bleached world either. If what Acht says is true and they and Marina "go way back", I figure it is not illogical that Marina somehow put other friends besides Pearl in her pristine perfect world as well, to keep them close to her.

But I think the fact that Pearl is the only one who became a robot does link well with the above theory about Marina's sheer devotion and how strongly she does not want to lose this one specific person again.

People of flesh and blood/ink die and perish; it is a fact of life. One misstep is enough to end it all, and we know that the creatures in Splatoon can absolutely die and be harmed. In Octo Expansion, the developers stated Eight dies in the final escape when they get splatted and you as player literally go back in time instead of respawning. Octavio is apparently unable to turn back to his human form because of his injuries from the Great Turf War.

But for robots, this is different.

Robots do not have to suffer under "death" and "harm". They can be repaired when broken, they can be reprogrammed when glitching, they can be upgraded: they can theoretically live eternally when cared for well. If Marina really does feel so threatened by Pearl's sudden departure to follow her musical whims (which I do get! Pearl apparently went entirely no-contact until returning with the members of Damp Socks. That's quite an awful thing to do to a close friend like Marina is of hers, in my opinion, especially since in the Chaos vs. Order Splatfest we clearly see how distraught Marina is at the idea of Off The Hook breaking up.), how would she react to Pearl dying somehow? Having Pearl as a drone does remove some pesky negative aspects of being alive: you cannot be lost to death and demise if you can somehow live forever, after all. And if a robot's body gets destroyed, there's back-ups and such that can be implemented into a new one. It could theoretically allow one to live forever: you would never have to face "the end" and leave others with the grief of not being there anymore.

Furthermore, Marina seems to be curious but perhaps also somewhat afraid about what comes after "the end", if the above-linked interview is any indication. She said she was overwhelmed and exploding with thoughts, that the world of order is beyond our comprehension, yet she is still trying to craft a new frontier within it. Those are all incredibly strong emotions about the world of order she envisions. I'm thinking: if we want to go a bit darker, having Pearl be a robot means she's open to Marina reworking her just a bit, rewriting some parts of her personality and code to ensure that she doesn't suddenly leave again without so much as a peep. It would be orderly, it wouldn't be chaotic or unexpected, everything would be clear and cut-out and predictable. Pearl would be there forever. Pearl wouldn't want things to change. Pearl would be happy the way things are, just like Marina is. And Marina wouldn't so suddenly be left alone again if Pearl cannot leave, if forced that way by Marina's hand.

I'm not certain if this theory holds, but I do feel rather strongly that Marina will somehow be in an antagonistic role in Side Order: whether deliberate or accidentally, she seems responsible for the world of order that the protagonists have found themselves in, further supported by the fact she's not shown in person in the trailers so far. I'm really curious how it will impact her relationship with Pearl, especially since Pearl has become a drone now for whatever reason. Would she sympathise with Marina's feelings about it and how far she is willing to go to protect them, I wonder?

side order theorypost #87

Splatoon's campaigns are (mostly) quite distinct, but each is led by a villain that opposes the world that the Inklings have made. They each believe that their vision for the world is best - one based on history and a refusal to accept the change that the world has made.

Octavio rejects the Great Turf War and spent a century building up his forces and weaponry in an attempt to reverse the result of the war.

Tartar rejects Inklings as the new dominant species on planet Earth, looking to create a "new" world with his own variant of species largely inspired by humans (and the best the new world has to offer) to take over.

Mr. Grizz rejects aquatic life taking over in the place of mammals, and seeks to return the world to a state where mammals are once again the dominant species on planet Earth.

Each of these villains, consciously or not, have taken their trauma over past events and transformed them into a state where they only believe that a world based in the past in the best way to move forward, as paradoxical as that sounds. Of course, all three of them have been thwarted by their campaign's respective protagonist, a plucky young teenager with above-average skill who has saved the world.

But with Side Order, it's not about saving the world, and it's not about toppling some big bad with some grandiose desire of controlling it.

It's about showing Marina that she, too, has to wake up and face the changing world as well.

Just so we're absolutely clear, I believe that Marina is 100% without a doubt the main villain of Side Order. If I'm wrong I'll like, eat my shorts or something. However, based on the trend that former Splatoon villains have set, it just makes too much sense.

It may seem a bit strange to suggest that Marina fits in with those three - after all, she's not some conniving supervillain, she has seen firsthand that change can have a positive effect on someone's life - hell, she's not even a dude! However, I am suggesting that she has also fallen into the same trap of protecting history instead of moving forward.

And it all started with Damp Socks.

For those unaware, shortly before the events of Splatoon 3, Pearl mysteriously disappeared after a "musical clash" with Marina (<- please read this interview), going no contact until she found something fresh and different. She eventually returned with Damp Socks, offering to lend OTH's musical prowess to their band, and the rest is history.

It was good for Pearl, who always wanted to play rock music, but what about Marina?

On the surface, it seemed like she took it well enough after Pearl finally resurfaced, but by her own admission, Marina would have been fine playing anything as long as it was with Pearl. Protecting the bond and band they've shared the better part of a decade together was more important than anything else.

Pearl, knowingly or not, threatened that bond with one careless action.

And now Marina (thinks she) knows that Pearl could walk out on her whenever she feels, free to chase whatever fling catches her fancy next.

After working so hard to leave the domes, leaving behind everything she once knew, and making a whole life around her "best friend" for like, 7-8 years, it could all be left behind on a whim?

...

In that same interview I linked earlier, Marina leaves an eerie message about seeking a world of order beyond the world of chaos she had become accustomed to. Inspired by such an idea, she said that she wishes to "construct a new frontier" inspired by one such world of order.

One where every little thing can be meticulously chosen and perfected. One where all the important things can be protected, forever.

One where her and Pearl can always be together.

tl;dr as the first non-teenager protagonist in the series, u are teaming up with the loud [short one] to free her girlfriend from the mental prison she has purposefully trapped herself in and also Dedf1sh is there and i dont know why but please god save her

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

(/rp! also, huge trigger warning for assault, graphic violence, death, abuse, possessive behaviour, obsession, mental breaks, hallucination, really fucking creepy treatment of a corpse, unreliable narrators, the perspective of a villain, torture, manipulation, and gaslighting! this gets pretty fucked up).

When Dream sees Tommy for the first time, there is no dramatic shift, no acknowledgement that his life had changed forever. No knowledge of the fact. All he sees is a skinny little kid who's obnoxious and loud, and he catalogues him just as one of Philza’s strays and leaves it at that.

No, it’s when Tommy drives the sword into his chest for the first time, and Dream wakes up from his non-canon death smiling despite itself when it clicks. He’s not sure what “it” is, exactly, but it’s just something about him Dream hadn’t seen in anyone before that has him hooked, captivated from the beginning.

(There's the vague recollection that he was like Tommy once, a bright eyed naive youth too loud for his own good, but that’s not unique. It’s not that, at least not entirely.)

The conflict was not started by Tommy, nor was he of any particular threat to Dream, but he was fun. So he ignored the rest, and took the boy's music discs. He knew Tommy well enough that he’d fight for them, and fight he did, and even though Dream lost in the end he laughed all the while. He’d played many a game before, but none quite this fun!

They both know this isn’t where it’ll end. Only one hopes it will be.

——

Dream didn’t care much about Wilbur's little revolutionary movement at first. As long as he obeyed the rules, and stayed in the server, it wouldn’t matter whether he delusionally thought he was under his own governance or not.

This changed immediately when he learnt Tommy was involved.

L'Manburg, a name he didn’t bother to remember until he learnt Tommy named it, was tiny, barely any more than a scavenged old world vehicle and some trees. It’s populace was peaceful, only Wilbur even an adult. None of that mattered. It wasn’t that the nation was a threat, though he certainly wouldn’t dissuade his friends fear that it was. But fighting L'Manburg meant fighting Tommy, and Dream wouldn't pass up the opportunity for anything.

He grinned with glee behind his mask as he blew Tommy's strange dirt hovel “embassy” sky high, enthusiastically threatened Tommy before remembering half heartedly to threaten the rest of the nation. He made dealings, found weak links- a new immigrant to the SMP that joined L'Manburg after the war began, it turns out. He offered extravagant promises in exchange for their betrayal, hiding the strings attached to his fingers.

Oh, but it was all worth it when the person with the eyes of an old god lead the revolutionaries into a trap, all worth it when they descended on them at once. It was definitely worth it to kill Tommy, kill Tommy, see him scream and cry in pain and stumble trying to escape and him taking a shuddering last breath. Dream had never seen anything as beautiful.

(It was a war, and feelings like this were okay in wars, right? It’s not like he was obsessed, it’s not like he was a monster. He’d been trying to be good, and killing your enemies was good, right?)

He killed Tommy a second time, too. The boy with shaking hands and a leg hanging limp challenged him to a duel for his nations future. His loss was assured, and Dream knew Tommy knew that also. This one was quicker, Tommy dead between the arrow entering his skull and his broken body make a loud thud against the planks, but it was no less fascinating. If only he had infinite canon lives, Dream would happily give up any ambitions and spend eternity seeing the boy die in so many fascinating ways.

(No, what the fuck was he thinking? The SMP was worth more than some stupid kid, and Dream wasn’t so inept with morality to know torturing someone over and over, killing them, was wrong.)

(Yet, it was so tempting he was almost ready to renounce morality wholeheartedly.)

It eventually comes to the discs again, Tommy handing Dream his prized possessions for some silly little nation. Dream knew Tommy would do anything to get them back. Having so much control was addicting, even more than control of anything else. Dream had learnt long ago that if you didn’t have complete power over anything, people would take the power from you and make you hurt.

So why did he care more about control of some kid than avoiding his own pain?

——

Dream would have sided with Tommy. Really, he would have, but Schlatt just had the better deal.

He holds the book in his hands, power filling him. He repeats the incantation, sacrifices the blood from his veins. He stares into the face of a man near-identical.

“”Brother dearest,”” he says, voice level. “”What do you wish of me?””

Dream grins behind his mask. “”Tommy.””

—

Wishes must come true, Dream thinks, as he sits on the beach of Logstedshire, Tommy passed out and leaning against his arm.

Oh, what he’d give for this moment to last forever. Alas, it passes, like they all do. Still, Tommy's getting so obedient lately- barely even grumbling as he threw his item into the hole. Part of him missed when Tommy would fight back all the while- his pained screams were entertaining. Still, it was safer this way, and more enjoyable in the long run. He’d hate to have his little songbird break it’s neck against the cage doors, never to sing again.

He’s not sure when life outside of Tommy became a chore, but he remembers dimly that it wasn’t always like that. There was a Dream long ago that wouldn’t give up friends and family, who'd cry over losing them even if he’d cut their threads voluntarily. He wasn’t that Dream anymore, the numb feeling in his chest a sign of growth. It didn’t matter that everything outside of Tommy was so miserable, because just being around the boy was a feeling a hundredfold better than any happiness he felt before.

Still, he had duties and responsibilities. Ones that seemed so important long ago, so fulfilling. Maybe one day they’d feel like that again. He had plans, from what he learnt. Government had not left him satisfied, but- whatever you could call what his relationship with Tommy was, it definitely did. Family, he supposed, recognising the boys actions towards him and his brothers. If he could make the entire server like that, that’d be a happiness greater than any other, apart from how Tommy made him feel.

He spent time with Tubbo, getting further and further towards getting that stupid fucking ram boy to calling him a friend and giving him Tommy's disc, all he wanted from him.

(He wasn’t jealous, of course he wasn’t. The anger he felt whenever Tommy called Tubbo a friend, that wasn’t jealousy. That was just logical).

Far more interesting was checking on the prison's completion. When it’s completed, it’d truly be a thing of beauty. Of course, his favourite part was the main cell, that he’d put so much thought into. He’d included all the little things that made Tommy squirm, made his breath hitch and eyes dart around fearfully. That would be so much fun.

(Tommy would learn to appreciate the fun in time, too. He was a smart boy, if irritatingly yet fascinatingly stubborn. He just needed to be taught that if he listened and just played along, Dream could give him the world.)

It took far too long, but eventually it finished, and he could return to the ugly mess of tents and logs he’d made so sure Tommy could never leave. He always started shaking when Dream showed up, trying desperately to hide his fear in his voice, and it was absolutely adorable. Dream savoured it, savoured everything about Tommy as they spent hours talking. Everything, his hysterical laugh, his nervous glances for escapes, the way he flinched whenever Dream grabbed his shoulder, his wrist, the poorly hidden look of pain when he held tighter, just hard enough to irritate the bruises that painted his skin a canvas of black and blue, it was all perfect.

Only he could love Tommy this much, and in time he knew Tommy would learn to appreciate that.

——

The second time he used the book, a tower extended from the ruins of the makeshift prison he’d made for Tommy. DreamXD stated ahead of him.

“”Brother dearest,” he said, “why are you calling on me again so soon?””

“”Bring him back,”” he said, voice painfully numb.

DreamXD shrugged a shoulder, golden hair waving around like in water. “”Who?””

“”Tommy.””

“”I cannot,”” DreamXD said. “”He lives.”” Dream couldn’t help but smile at hearing that.

“”Then bring him back to me.””

DreamXD laughed, a sound like church bells. “”That would be unnecessary. Did I not already grant you the mortal?””

Dream clenched his fist hard enough blood dripped onto scorched earth. “”He left me-“”

“”And you shall find him, no matter what.”” DreamXD smiled under the mask. “”You are bonded to him, and neither death nor distance shall break that. Just look, and you will find him, til the end of time and even past.””

“”Thank you,”” Dream said, genuinely for once.

“”Only the best for my little brother and sister. And I know you would do the same for us, brother dearest.””

——

His planning had come to fruition for once.

They were alone, in the depths of the Earth, just him, Tommy, the fucking hilarious excuse for a “president” Tommy called a friend for some reason, and his axe.

Finally, he could bring his dreams to fruition. He could get rid of any loose threads, and claim what was rightfully his. And once he’d taught Tommy to be grateful, he could get to work on the rest of the server.

It’d be beautiful. Everyone would be his friend, his brother, his sister, something in between. There would be no more wars, just peace. Everyone would be safe, he’d know they’re safe and they’d never rip him to pieces and laugh at his pain. And oh, it’d like be hard work, breaking everyone into obedience but not too much to the point they become boring, but so enjoyable and satisfying. He’d almost be disappointed when it was over.

Tommy- his Tommy, his Tommy, was crying, and it was amusing but he almost wanted to reach out and comfort him and explain it’d all be for the best. He’d do that later, once he’d secured him and any loose ends were gone forever. He couldn’t afford weakness until they were alone, but Tommy made it so tempting.

The ram and Tommy hugged a final goodbye, and the adoration he had towards Tommy, hiding his fear behind a smile, made Dream fucking sick. He should know Tommy was his. They all should know. He’d teach them, when he made the server a perfect family. Even Tubbo, if Tommy begged enough. Dream would do anything to hear Tommy's pathetic, gorgeous begging, breaking through his aggressive walls, and bringing back some random sheep was easily in his brother's power.

See, he could be kind. He wasn’t cruel, he wasn’t a monster. He didn’t even care if he was anymore, fun was so much more important than nonsensical human concepts, but it wasn’t even true. He could be incredibly, selflessly kind, as long as he had a reason. They’d learn, once he fulfilled his dream.

The sound of a nether portal, of betrayal, shatters his dreams and at this point he wonders why he’s surprised.

——

He’d had doubts, during the weeks (months, years? he had no way of knowing) he’d been trapped in the cell, but Tommy being here with him confirmed his design was excellent.

Oh, Tommy was being fucking obnoxious- and Dream knew he was doing it on purpose- but he saw it in the way he never was able to look at the lava properly, the way he always woke up in a cold sweat calling for his daddy like the child he insisted he wasn’t. It was perfect.

(Of course it was, though. It’s not hard to build on something already perfected, and Tommy was the perfect little toy.)

Tommy was so frustratingly different though. He tried not to take it out on him- it wasn’t his fault that everyone else spread lies, planted nonsense in his head about Dream being bad and not trying to do the best for everyone but especially for him- but he struggled sometimes, and it was always so tempting to hurt Tommy anyway, and get lost in the melody of his screams. It wouldn’t teach Tommy anything though, and that’s what was important. He needed to teach Tommy what was best for him.

Tommy had unlearnt all the lessons Dream painstakingly taught him. That wouldn’t be an issue- it was so, so fun to teach- but he knew, painfully deep down in his heart that he could not hold Tommy forever, not yet. The lockdown wasn’t forever, and Dream had no escape route yet. Tommy would just forget everything again, at the hands of his “friends” that couldn’t love him as much as Dream did. They needed to learn far more than Tommy did.

(Except Ranboo of course- oh, the purple eyed boy had the silly naive thoughts in his head everyone seemed to have that friendship was anything but possessing another, but he agreed family came first, listened to Dream, helped him, even with clenched teeth.)

And when one day the frustration got to Dream one day and he was so furious he hit Tommy again and again against the walls of the prison and strangled him until he was cold all he could do was laugh and laugh and laugh.

It was so, so funny, because of course he’d be the one to destroy everything he loved.

——

This time, when DreamXD is called, he looks upon his brother with concern.

“”Brother dearest,”” he says, “”are you quite alright?””

Dream laughs, because of course he’s alright! The tears staining his face must be joy, because of course he’s alright. He’s holding Tommy here, with him, and he was quiet, he must be listening. He can’t be dead, he can’t be, then there’d be no point to any of this.

“”Drista has been concerned for you for quite a while, you know,”” DreamXD continued. “”Is this because of your mortal?””

“”He’s been ever so quiet lately,”” Dream said, with a voice hoarse from crying and laughter. “”I’m not sure to be concerned or happy with him.””

“”You’re not well, Dream.”” DreamXD said, with a tone of finality despite clearly being wrong. “”The boy is dead.””

Dream laughs. “”And yet he does not slip from my grasp.””

“”Then, brother, why did you call me?””

The silence pierces through air like a knife. Eventually, through hiccuping sobs, Dream says “”Just, please, bring him back.””

Tommy sputters to life with ghostly eye and pure white streaks and more bruise on him than corpselike skin and Dream thinks he has never been more perfect.

——

Quackity's left, he thinks, because the pain's stopped growing.

He laughs, because he doesn’t know what to fucking do anymore but laugh. He can’t give up the secrets of the book, of course he can’t. Family comes first, after all, and he dreads to think what the bastard would do to his brother. But the pain was awful, never ending in waves through his whole body, and he almost just wants to confess so he can die.

He cradles what’s left of his arm since the bastard cut it off at the elbow, and he sobs. He doesn’t even care to hide it with his mask. It’s not even the pain that hurts the most, even. It’s that Tommy's gone, and by the time Dream escapes- because he’s going to escape, he’s got to- he might be so far from his grasp even their fates being tied might not be enough.

“Of course that’s not true,” a fake voice says in his head, and wavy form approaches. Fuck, the blood loss must be bad today. It always is when he sees things. Usually it’s George or Bad or Sapnap, and it leaves him with a numb feeling in his chest that he’s familiar with, but today it’s Tommy, and that’s worse. It reminds him of what he cannot hold.

“Fuck off,” he mouths at the apparition, voice too tired and hoarse from screaming to speak properly. Not-Tommy laughs, and the sound is so similar to Tommy he almost thinks that his desperate prayers have been answered, Tommy is there again, but he reached his fingers forward and they go through his tired hallucination.

“You’re a real dick, you know that?” Not-Tommy says, and laughs again. “But I know you mean the best.” Dream shrugs his shoulder at the fake, and then curls up, new waves of pain curling up his arm.

“I don’t know why I was ever friends with that bastard.” Not-Tommy lies, and Dream wants to believe it. “You’re just having fun. He’s cruel.” Tommy would never understand that clear distinction, no matter how much Dream explained it, but the fake said it with such conviction it was almost enough for Dream to fall for it.

“When you get out, I’ll be there, Dream. And then we can all be a big happy family,” Not-Tommy says, the thoughts so obviously Dream's and not Tommy’s but- the idea that Tommy understood, that he saw sense, was so tempting, Dream allowed himself to believe it, just for a second. Just until the pain started anew.

Broken and bloody, Dream drifted into unconsciousness with a smile on his face.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Maladaptive Coping.”

This idea was given to me by a good friend of mine 

*WARNING* This issue of Krill’s journal contains literally ALL of the things that might bother you. Every self destructive behavior I could think of is mentioned in this piece. So PLEASE do not read it if there is even the slightest chance that it may bother you. I wont list everything here, and trust you to make your own decision on weather it is a good idea for you to read this or not. 

Also, a important note is that this is from an aliens perspective, and so does not contain every last nuance of these behaviors and the reasons behind them. I hope those of you who read a great day, and those who don’t read a great day as well! :)

The Journal of Xenomedical Biology 

Author: Dr. Krill of the Vrul 

The Human Manifestation of Self destructive Tendencies and Their Signs.

Over the past few years of studying and learning to understand humans, It has come to the attention of the medical community that humans are the most volatile species, psychologically. This is not meant as negative commentary on human issues as it might seem, but merely an observation that humans have the most widely varied pattern of psychological maladaptive responses when it comes to stress and related mental illness. Where each other species tends to have only two or three typical maladaptive responses, humans have been known to have analogous representations of all known mental abnormalities.

Now this journal is not specifically about all the ways the human brain can go wrong, but more accurately about the maladaptive response I have seen in humans over the past few years primarily demonstrating self destructive behaviors in one way or another.

You might notice an interesting pattern in my analysis today that clearly demonstrates a repetitive contradictory pattern in human self destructive tendencies, which will demonstrate just how varied and widely differing their responses can be.

First, humans have socially destructive behavior.which can come in many forms.

Withdrawal: from friends or close loved ones is a common self destructive behavior to look for in humans. This can happen on a large or small scale where the human withdraws for hours or even years. As a social species, humans find social interaction important, even if that is only remote communications with other humans. If that human begins to withdraw suddenly or even gradually over time, I might suggest being concerned about their well- being.

Now here is where the contradictions come into play, and forgive me if some of these social behaviors also overlap with the physical behaviors, with humans, they are often one in the same.

Increased socially dangerous behavior: now this may account for many things. Some humans will fall into a downward spiral where they surround themselves with other like minded humans and participate in dangerous physical activities, which I will discuss later

Increased partners: Now, while this behavior may be common for many humans, and could be argued as a physical behavior, there is cause for concern if a human suddenly increases the number of physical partners from their average. This usually accompanies reckless social behavior like not meeting the partner first before entering into a physical relationship, doing this on multiple occasions and might also be connected with the following -

Staying with an objectively horrible partner: now it is hard to identify why some humans do this, but often humans will choose a partner who is objectively horrible to them either physically or emotionally. Sometimes humans do this because they are afraid of the repercussions, are afraid of being alone, or they have been convinced that there is no other possible person out there who might love them. Humans put a lot of stock into physical relationships and many of them would rather be with someone horrible than be alone. Due to their social nature many humans put social interaction and partnership over their safety and mental health. If you see a human participating in this behavior, it is advised to get them help,even if the human does not want it. They deserve more than being treated horribly.

Now on occasion two humans in a downward spiral might come together and create a codependent relationship where they cannot function without one another. What the other human does the oher will follow and this can lead them both into a spiral of horrible physical and mental behaviors that will cause anguish in the long term. If one of them is involved with drugs, the other will follow etc.

Now some humans might even participate in self destructive behaviors that look good from an outside perspective. For instance, it is a common occurrence that humans overwork themselves to the point of burnout. Often humans throw themselves into their work to distract their minds and avoid the pain of something else, thi may include memories or having to return to an environment where they do not wish to go. These humans will work many hours and sacrifice their social lives to do more work, causing long term stress that can lead to heart attack stroke and other physical diseases related to increased stress and heightened blood pressure. Some humans may participate in this behavior as a way to prove themselves to others, that they are either competent or hard working.

On the flipside of this there are other humans who may just stop working at all. They let everything in their lives fall apart, and stop doing anything of note causing them to lose their jobs, their hobbies, their families and their friends. This one is often related to a withdrawal from other people and might include elements of physical recklessness like drug abuse.

Secondly and including a much wider range of self destructive behaviors, we see the physical manifestations of this phenomenon which vary widely and tend to come in opposing pairs..

Overheating and undereating: are two very common forms of stress response from humans. If humans have conditioned to see food as a reward for behavior or as a comforting mechanism (oten developed in childhood) they will eat in order to comfort themselves and to the point where it is adversely affecting their physical health. They may eat even if they are not hungry or if they are actively full. Some humans experience digestive issues while under stress and may even refuse to eat at all. There are other extreme cases where humans, usually in response to a perceived lack of control, will regulate their food intake to the point of starvation or other food related disorders.

This is closely related to over exercising, and also has links with a perceived lack of control in their life. These humans, often paired with restricted eating, will push themselves to their physical limit to control their own bodies as a form of having a hold on their own lives. This paired with restricted calories can cause an untold amount of damage both physically and metnally. Mental disorders linked to these behaviors are known to be the most deadly of disorders known to humans.

The consumption of Drugs and Alcohol

This is a very common and often overlooked  behavior in humans. Drinking is the consumption of beverages that contain Ethanol, which when reacting in the human brain causes, extreme mental degradation related to fuzziness and euphoria. Humans find this a pleasant feeling though it causes damage to many internal structures most primarily the liver. Unfortunately drinking is seen as a socially acceptable behavior with humans and so excessive drinking is often caught too late or not called out at all. These humans may drink from the beginning to the end of the day and will build up a tolerance to alcohol amounts that would kill another human. They build up an immunity to the point where they need larger and larger doses to feel the same effects. They will often neglect their social connections including friends and family for a chance with the bottle.

This is the same with other illicit drugs, which may have even more severe effects on the person and my lead to drug induced psychosis. Both substances are highly addictive to the point where a human may commit horrible acts like murder, robbery, etc to get the drugs that they crave. This is usually in response to some sort of mental anguish they are trying to drown out but may be related to them becoming hooked on drugs they needed after surgery. On rare occasions, this behavior began in conjunction with destructive social behaviors which lead them down into a spiral.

Excessive partying is often paired with drug use and an increased amount of intimate partners. Many humans who have fallen into this spiral might refuse to admit that they are spiraling at all. Generally limited use of a substance can be acceptable for a human, but there are plenty of other chemicals that should not be consumed at all.

There are even some drugs that are known to be mild on the user but may cause emotional dependence. These drugs are not known to cause physical dependance, but the human can convince themselves that they require the drug to function emotionally during the day and will neglect their family, friends and lives in order to spend more time with their drug of choice Again you will see the withdrawal from social contacts as an extreme warning sign in humans.

Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all:A human getting enough sleep is important for their mental health but sleeping too much is proven to throw off circadian rhythms and increase chances of depression or worsening depression. Humans require an amount of sleep that is no more or no less than what they need. Many humans will claim to not be getting enough sleep because they feel tired, when in reality their oversleeping causes grogginess and reduced amount of energy though it might seem counter intuitive.  On the other hand humans might refuse to sleep at all, instead occupying their time with some other activity. It is important to remember though that an inability to sleep might also be insomnia, and the human hs no choices in the matter. I find that humans, in general, are horrible at regulating a proper healthy sleep schedule.

Participation in dangerous hobbies. Now, I understand that this is common for many humans and does not indicate self destructive behavior, but I would consider noting when a human suddenly involves themselves in dangerous hobbies after not participating for a long time, especially when that human is not careful and doesnt take time to properly consider safety protocols. 

Another very common one is humans causing intentional physical harm to themselves. This comes in levels of severity and I would say that most humans do this to some degree or another. Often these are connected to nervous ticks or even learned behaviors from childhood. This can include, picking scabs, biting nails, picking at the skin of the thumbs or the lips, pilling hair, and biting the inside of the cheeks. These smaller behaviors are usually minor and do not require attention, they may cause scarring but are not generally connected to extreme mental anguish.

However, these behaviors can escalate dramatically to the use of knives and razors. This behavior is EXTREMELY maladaptive and indicates severe mental anguish and trauma and must be addressed immediately. These behaviors might escalate and be linked to loss of life by the human’s own hand. I have not witnessed this personally, and I never intend to as I keep a very close eye on my humans.

[littlemisspascal]

Death and an Angel part 7

Helmetless + Death!Din and Cupid F!Reader

Summary: Maybe you should have tried harder, or held onto him tighter. Maybe then you wouldn't be feeling this gaping hole in your chest where your heart used to beat.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,297

Warnings: Description of a dead body, major character death (but technically you already know it happened, just not how it did...so...), heartbreak, major angst, a bit of fluff at the end, a couple familiar faces may or may not show up

Author Note: Seriously, you all are the best readers I could ever hope to have. The response to Part 6 was unbelievable and I can’t thank everyone enough for the support, especially when I continue to be evil and end the segments with such horrible cliffhangers. 

Links to Part 1 and Part 6 and Part 8

Cross-posted on AO3.

Photo Inspiration:

Maker, your head hurts. 

It throbs angrily as if a mudhorn has impaled your brain on its horn. In fact, your whole body feels like one giant bruise. Grimacing, you take a deep breath, only to enter a coughing fit when you inhale a lungful of smoke. 

Cracking an eye open, panic seizes you when all you see is smoke. Ash gray and thick, it obscures your immediate surroundings from view. You can’t even tell if it’s night or day. 

What the kriff is going on?

Swallowing against the dryness of your throat, you slowly sit up and feel pieces of grit and rubble dig into the tender flesh of your palms. A quick look shows no blood, soulmate mark unaffected, and you sigh a quiet breath of relief. But then worry starts to sink in when you realize you can’t remember where you are or what knocked you unconscious. Before you can spiral into a panic attack, the ground beneath you starts to tremble, causing the tiny fragments of gravel to wildly bounce around.

A shrill metallic screech pierces your ears followed immediately by a massive burst of vibrant orange flames erupting in the distance. You yelp, hastily pushing yourself onto your feet and start to run in the opposite direction, ignoring the howl of protest from your aching body. 

You can’t even see two steps in front of you, effectively ruining your attempt at a quick escape as you clumsily skirt around piles of debris that appear out of the smoke and threaten to block your way. Every breath is a wheeze, lungs making it painfully clear they cannot draw in enough oxygen from the smoky atmosphere to support your chosen pace. But the mere thought of dying here in this nightmarish inferno is enough to urge you to keep moving, keep putting one foot in front of the other, even as it simultaneously creates a tight, anxious knot in your stomach.

Another explosion detonates behind you. The ground quakes and groans, cracks appearing at an alarming rate as if the planet itself is being torn apart by the chaos. Your foot catches on one of the rifts, eliciting a cry of shock to tear itself out of your throat when you’re unable to reclaim your balance and plummet forward.

Except it’s not the ground that rises up to meet you. 

No. 

It’s a body. 

A dead body, to be precise. Burnt to a blackened crisp, as if the person had been dropped directly into a sun. Their skeletal features are frozen in an expression of torture, mouth gaping wide in a silent scream. The stench of their seared flesh overwhelms your nostrils and ingrains itself in your brain, ensuring you’ll never forget the horrific smell for the rest of your lifetime.

Whimpering, you scramble backwards, curling your legs tight against your heaving chest. You look around, bile rising in your throat when you glimpse through the sea of smoke more charred corpses surrounding you. It’s as if you’ve stumbled upon a mass grave, and again the thought crosses your mind: what the kriff is going on?

You stand up, not wanting to linger another second in their presence, and continue moving forward, each footstep slow and careful as you maneuver around the bodies. The smoke is marginally thinner the further away you move from the fiery blasts, just enough for you to make out the faint outlines of collapsed buildings on either side of you, homes of families destroyed for reasons you don’t understand. Gut instinct keeps insisting that everything you’re seeing is wrong, that none of this destruction and carnage should have ever happened. 

Again, you attempt to string together your memories, forcing your brain to comply despite the pounding ache it produces in your temples. Honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if you had a concussion. 

Details slowly start coming to mind, little and meaningless by themselves, but when put together form a grander picture. You came here to visit your best friend. ‘Here’ being a Mid-Rim planet with a ridiculously long and multisyllabic name you couldn’t pronounce then, and your poor head certainly can’t identify now. The transport flight had been long and you’d arrived later than anticipated, verging on late afternoon when you’d stepped off the craft. 

On your way to your friend’s house, the sun had abruptly gone dark. Everyone had stopped to look to the sky, yourself included. A light cruiser, kite-shaped and unmistakable, hovered directly overhead. Its presence was ominous, evoking the crowd of civilian spectators to murmur amongst themselves. 

Then its weapons unleashed a storm of hellfire.

Oh, Maker. How could you have ever forgotten the screams?

You’re pulled out of your dismal thoughts by the appearance of a dark shape ahead of you, its outline standing out as noticeably different than the surrounding rubble. Gradually, your brain starts to distinguish human features: a head, broad shoulders and limbs. 

It also occurs to you that they’re coming straight at you.

Before you can decide whether to flee or fight or do anything remotely conducive to increasing your odds of survival, the human-shaped blur barrels straight into you, hitting you with such force you instinctively grip onto their coat, just above their wrists, to keep from falling backwards. The feather-light grazing of the edge of your palm against their skin elicits a buzz of shocking warmth, as if you’ve touched a live wire instead of flesh.

It’s you, the thought pops into your head unprompted, like a fact you’ve always known since you were born. The feeling is breathtaking and electric, a lightning bolt striking the center of your heart. Every cell in your body is radiating exuberance and cheering: it’s you, it’s you, it’s you! The one I’ve been waiting for!

You’re pushed sideways, a small cry of surprise escaping your lips.

“Get out of my way.” It’s a masculine voice, sharp with impatience yet it wraps itself around your heart all the same. He doesn’t spare you a second glance as he continues heading in the direction you’ve been coming from.

“Wait,” you protest, because it’s not supposed to be like this. You’ve started shaking, from adrenaline or the shock of his dismissal, you’re not sure. 

The man pauses, keeping his back facing you. His dark clothes are conspicuously clean, and you can’t help comparing them to your own which are sooty and torn in places. For the second time, your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong, but this time you ignore it in favor of listening to the screaming of your heart urging you to never let this man out of your sight.

“We’re soulmates,” you say, desperate for him to stay.

His fingers curl into fists, the only forewarning you have before he snaps your heart in half as he mutters, “You could never be my soulmate.”

And then you’re watching as he disappears into the smoke, not once looking back to gauge the aftermath of his rejection. You had always been a hopeless romantic, dreaming that you and your soulmate would meet and live a long, happy life together until Death came to reap your souls. In less than thirty seconds, your soulmate had just cruelly crushed those dreams without either of you exchanging names or seeing each other’s faces.

Maybe you should have tried harder, or held onto him tighter. Maybe then you wouldn't be feeling this gaping hole in your chest where your heart used to beat.

Acting on impulse, you start running after him. If you can just have a second chance to make a better impression, maybe you can change his mind. Maybe you can convince him to accept you as his soulmate, agree to take your hand and never let go. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll fall in love with you, deeply and profoundly, just like every soulmate pairing you’ve heard about.

 With a head full of maybes, you don’t even hear the bomb drop.

It hits the ground with a resounding thud, and then your world is an explosion of red and orange heat, consuming you whole without leaving behind any evidence you’d ever existed at all. Your vision shifts and blurs, memories of your lifetime flashing by too quickly to recognize each one, but through it all you hear a voice, his voice, echoing those dreadful words over and over again.

You could never be my soulmate. Never. Never. Never.

~~~

You wake up with a jolt, throat raw as if you really had been inhaling smoke. You’re drenched in sweat and you push away the heavy blanket covering you before realizing it is definitely not your blanket nor are you currently in your own bed. Looking around, panic begins to prickle along your nerve endings when you fail to recognize anything familiar about your location.

You’re in someone’s home, that much is obvious from the furnishings. The ceiling overhead is made of overlapping metal and is slightly rounded, reminding you of a cave or burrow. There is a lantern hanging on a nearby hook, but the light it emanates is dim compared to the sunshine pouring in from the four small, square-shaped windows cut into the wall behind you above the bed. The view through the windows is slightly blurry, but you can make out the blue sky and what you think is a corral of some kind. 

Rubbing a hand over your face to wipe away the lingering exhaustion, you’re surprised when your hand encounters something rough covering the side of your forehead. A bandage. Strange, you must have hit your head somewhere—

The past comes back in flashes: Din confessing his feelings, touching his hand, the spark of warmth, falling unconscious on the floor.

Where is Din?

“You are awake.”

The voice is expressionless and mechanical in tone, stating the obvious. Even so, you jump, not having noticed the droid sitting in the far corner of the room during your initial survey. Its red sensors and dark colored plating would make it look menacing if not for the tray it clutches in its hands, balancing cups and a pitcher.

“I am IG-11,” the droid says as it approaches.

“IG?” you echo hoarsely, sitting up with alarm. “As in one of those assassin droids?”

“I have been reprogrammed as a nurse.” It considers you for a moment, internal mechanisms whirring, and then the tray is held out closer for you to reach. “Tea?”

Hesitantly, you pour yourself some and hold the cup with both hands as you take a sip. The tea is warm as it slides down your throat, flavorful and far more exotic than the kind you’ve tasted back home in Umbriel. 

“Where am I?” you ask after you’ve swallowed two more gulps.

“Arvala-7.”

You blink, barely familiar with the name which only intensifies your worry about Din’s absence.

“Okay, but like, where exactly on Arvala-7?” you press, gesturing around the room. “How did I even get here?”

“Your current location is a moisture farm owned and operated by Kuiil,” IG-11 says, moving away to set the tray on a nearby table, though its head remains facing your direction. “Death brought you here unconscious with an injury to your central processing unit.”

“My central…” you trail off, squinting. “Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“Yes. It was meant to put you at ease.”

“Right.” You nod to yourself, reaching a decision. Downing the last of your drink, you swing your legs over the side of the bed and make a move to stand. “This has been great, but I’ve really got to go find Death so—”

A wave of dizziness washes over you, forcing you to sit back down. Kriff, you think, closing your eyes until you’re certain you won’t be seeing double anymore. 

“You won’t find Death here.” A new voice, crackling with age, informs you. His words are ominous, but his tone isn’t one of malice or ill-intent. 

Turning, you see an Ugnaught approaching from the entrance of the house. He stops beside IG-11, green eyes peering at you from beneath bushy white eyebrows, but you don’t feel threatened by his nearness. 

“I am Kuiil. Death entrusted me with looking after you until his return from Nevarro,” he says, sitting down upon a stool with his arms braced upon his knees. “You must continue to rest until you are well. I have spoken.”

You press a hand to your chest, feeling a pang of hurt at Din’s decision. “He left?”

“Death is bound by creed to the universe to reap the dead. Nothing, not even his soulmate, can be put before it.”

You choke on your spit. “Soulmate? We’re not—”

“Even if he had not told me,” Kuiil interrupts, unwilling to hear your dissuading opinion when he is certain of his own. “I would have known it from how he stubbornly stayed at your side and by how loathsome he was to leave you behind. In all my years, I have not seen him behave in such a twitterpated manner.” 

“He…” Your voice wavers, torn between hopefulness and disbelief. “He really told you we’re soulmates?”

Kuiil, reaching towards the table for the pitcher of tea, pauses and slowly turns back to look at you. “You were unaware of your matched connection with Death? Did you two not touch hands as most fated pairs often do?”

Any reply you might have said falters when you look down at your hands in your lap. More specifically, your left hand. The one Din had grasped.  The one that in your past life had brushed against your soulmate minutes before you died. 

Right there in the middle of your palm, innocently gleaming like it’s always been there and therefore isn’t at all responsible for the rapid increase of your heartbeat, is a soulmate marking.

Tag List: @leilei-draws​​, @theocatkov​​, @becauseican2, @vintagesaph​​, @stardust-and-starlight​, @kay2304, @odelia-d32, @adrieunor​, @remmyswritings​, @gallowsjoker​​, @rhiannon-russo​, @randomness501​, @eleine-t1d​, @nicotinebirds, @sylphene​, @softly-sad​, @maytheglitter​, @melobee, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @eleinemk, @captain-jebi​, @aerynwrites, @promiscuoussatan, @stilllivindue2spite, @coaaster​

[kindahoping4forever]

When The Sun Came Up, You Were Looking At Me (Prologue) // Ashton Irwin

It really cannot be overstated how excited @cal-puddies​ and I are for you all to finally start reading this fic!! I searched our chat and we actually came up with the skeleton idea for this sequel only TWO DAYS after Remember When We Couldn’t Take The Heat was posted LAST APRIL and we started seriously writing in SEPTEMBER. This is a long time coming. We hope you love it as much as we do and thank you again for encouraging us to continue this story!

Don’t forget we’re alternating chapters so the story continues tomorrow over on Cass’s blog. And of course, you can find links to everything as it’s posted in the masterlist linked below! 

Warnings: Tension, both dramatic and sexual. Mild angst. Meddling but well-meaning friends. The first smut-free work Cass and I have ever written together (don’t worry, we more than make up for it the rest of the series lmao)

Word Count: 3455

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Series Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

The traffic light changes to green and you turn down Luke and Sierra’s street. You roll your eyes at the quickening of your pulse as you think about the party tonight; you’d give anything to skip it but you know Michael and Crystal really want you there and you can’t not show up for them. 

You feel your nerves settle a bit as you step out of the car and see Sierra waiting at the door for you, happy to have you over to get ready together. She grins wide and pulls you into a warm hug, Luke quickly coming over to engulf you as well. Their excited greetings overlap as they literally smother you with affection and you can’t help but laugh at the fuss they’re making.

“You always disappear for too long,” he murmurs, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of your head. 

“Just needed some space,” you say with a shrug. 

“You broke up with Ash, not us,” Sierra reminds you, squeezing your arm. 

“I know, I know,” you nod with a weak smile. 

Luke grabs the bag with your dress in it and takes it to their room while you and Sierra get a drink. “Thank god you’re letting me pre-game,” you joke. 

“How are you feeling about everything?” She asks as you head back with her. 

“Just doin’ my best to be OK,” you admit, without even thinking about Luke overhearing. “It was like… close to an entire year of my life you know? I know it doesn’t seem like much... I just wasn’t ready, you know? And I’m definitely not ready for tonight.” 

Sierra sits on the bed, listening as you sit at her vanity, absentmindedly looking over the beauty products on it.  “It was such an intense relationship, it makes sense you’re not over it yet, babe,” she points out gently.

“I should be over it, though, it was ridiculous. Our whole relationship was based on a foundation of fighting until we fucked to forget why we fought… it didn’t work, we never really communicated about anything.” 

“Well. You already know I’m not a fan of how the breakup went down,” she shakes her head, plugging in the curling iron you’ve been gesturing wildly with. “It’s been a couple months now, you guys still haven’t even texted?”

You scoff, taking a sip of your drink. “Please, we are the king and queen of Stubborn Town, I haven’t seen or heard from that man since I got the last of my stuff from his place,” you shrug. “I guess it still just feels… unfinished. I hate that.”

“I mean, it feels unfinished because you guys left it that way,” she says matter of factly. “You both decided you were done and then just… were? When you love someone, walking away like that doesn’t work.”

“I never said I loved him,” you glare at her through the mirror.

She settles behind you and starts sectioning off your hair. “Never said you didn’t either,” she teases.

Before you know it, 45 minutes have passed and Luke is at the door warning that he’s about to call the Uber; you’re deep into your girl talk catch-up and the knock on the door causes you both to burst into shrieks and giggles, scurrying around the room to finish getting ready.

Miraculously, you get yourselves together in time and as you stand in front of the house waiting for the car to arrive, Luke nudges you gently. “Ash is coming from a meeting on the other side of town, so you’ve got time to relax, he won’t be there for a while,” he reassures you. “And if you feel like you need to leave, let us know and we’ll come up with a reason to swoop you outta there.”

You put your arms around him and squeeze. “I’ve missed you too,” you say with a smile.

Luke tells you and Sierra how nice you both look as he ushers you inside the party. They both watch you scan the room, relaxing once you see Ashton hasn't arrived and then you all break off, making the rounds. 

You greet a few people but end up hanging off to the side, keeping an eye on the door, nervously half-paying attention to anyone who happens to approach you. 

You immediately tense when he enters. Luke moves to welcome him while Sierra comes to you, trying to be a silent support; her babysitting goes from feeling comforting to coddling very quickly and you urge her to go back to mingling. 

You try not to stare but you can’t help it, you haven’t seen him in so long. Even before you were together, when you hated him, it was hard not to be drawn to him. He just has that kind of presence. 

Luke hasn’t left his side since he walked in, chatting away, but you don’t think anything of it. That is, until everyone seems to be finding their place at the various tables and you’re still awkwardly standing to the side. You would typically sit with Luke and Sierra but they’ve made themselves cozy at a table with Ashton and Calum. 

You head for the bar and before you can order, someone comes up beside you. You ignore them until you hear the soft “Hey” fall from his lips, in that lush, slightly accented voice you missed more than you’d care to admit. 

You turn, fully taking him in for the first time tonight; his hair is different than the last time you saw him and he really seems to be feeling himself in his black pants and the lace button-up you used to make fun of. “Hi,” you respond, so quiet that Ash has to lean in to be sure he heard you. 

“Grab your drink and come sit with us,” he says, waving encouragingly. 

“Uh… that’s OK. I might leave,” you shrug. 

He snorts, rolling his eyes at your ridiculous suggestion. “No you won’t. First of all, I know you came with Luke and Sierra and they’re not leaving. Second of all, you’d never let Crystal and Mike down like that. Just come sit,” he insists, gently tugging on the hem of your dress. 

You melt a little inside. This was one of the reasons you liked him so much, he was always so confident that he knew you so well. But it’s also one of the reasons why you fought and he drove you crazy. 

“Fine,” you sigh with a slight smile. He waits for you to order your drink, also making you crazy, like he can’t trust you’ll do as you say.

“There you are!” Sierra smiles as you take the seat across the table from her and Luke. Sitting between Calum and Ashton is a spot you were very familiar being in; they’d constantly lean over you to share a joke and then one of them would fill you in afterwards if you were lucky. Your heart breaks a little when you realize that's not likely to happen now. 

You make small talk with Cal for a bit; you’ve missed his pinchable cheeks and his sweet laugh. You’d spent plenty of time with him when you were with Ashton but hadn’t really kept in touch since the split. He asks you about work and both he and Ash pay close attention as you chat about your job.

Sierra keeps a close eye on the two of you and notices how quickly you get reacquainted. The way Ash naturally rests his arm on the back of your chair. How when he started getting animated with a story, you knowingly shifted all the drinks over until he was finished. How he won’t let himself laugh at his own joke until he checks to make sure you’re laughing first. The hair toss you subconsciously give whenever he does make you laugh.

Later on, she catches him at the refreshment table serving your favorite dessert onto his plate even though it’s something he notoriously doesn’t like. She walks alongside him as he heads back. “You hate that,” she smirks, pointing at the offending dish.

“Oh. Right,” he says, realizing the old habit he just indulged. “She’ll eat it,” he shrugs, quickening his step to avoid any follow-up questions. 

Crystal makes the rounds to thank everyone for coming and stops Sierra with a hug; they chat for a minute but Crystal notices she seems distracted and eventually follows her gaze over to your table. Cal’s deeply invested on his phone, leaving you and Ash chatting by yourselves.

Crystal lightly snorts and leans in to her friend. “What’s old is new again, I guess,” she cups her manicured hand over her mouth to disguise her words. “You think they’ll leave together? I was shocked when she told me they haven’t hooked up even once since they split.”

Sierra shakes her head firmly. “They’re both too stubborn to admit they want even that from each other,” she rolls her eyes. “You should’ve seen how nervous she was to come here tonight.”

“Oh, Ash too,” Crystal whispers. “Ever since we planned this, Michael must’ve gotten at least 5 texts from him casually trying to find out if she was coming.”

Sierra sips her drink, never taking her eyes off your table. “It ended so badly, I can’t get over how comfortable they are with each other… there’s still just so much love there.”

Crystal shrugs. “Well god bless them but think of how long it took them to actually get together,” she points out. “I wouldn’t hold my breath for them to figure out that they called it off too soon.” 

You make light conversation with Ashton, trying to ignore the girls’ gabfest you see out of the corner of your eye; they were both supportive but clearly distraught when you told them about the breakup so you know they’ve got to be eating this up. 

Calum announces he’s stepping away for a cigarette and you and Ash pick at your plates in silence for a few minutes, suddenly feeling the weight of having to interact without a buffer. Finally, he offers up a quiet, “You’ve been good?”

You answer perhaps a little too quickly, nod perhaps a little too vigorously, eager to mask any implication of hurt feelings. “Yep. Busy. But good.”

He fiddles with the tablecloth. “You know... I meant to call sometime but it never felt right and then things got crazy with the band…”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt, shaking your head. “I didn’t check in either. Didn’t think you’d answer,” you laugh weakly.

He smiles and you hate how warm you feel at the sight. “Why did I always assume you were a ‘fuck that guy, delete his number as soon as you’re out the door’ kind of ex?”

Your heart sinks and you’re not sure why; it takes you a moment to realize it’s because this is the first time you’ve actually thought of yourself as “his ex.” You steady yourself. “Usually am. Decided to be mature on this one. You’re still at the top of my contacts. Listed under ‘Asshole,’ obviously,” you giggle.

“Ah, my favorite of your pet names,” he laughs along with you.

You talk for a few more minutes until Crystal makes her way over; Ash slips away while the two of you catch up and shortly after, you get a text from Luke asking if you’re ready to go. Your eyes scan the room though you aren’t sure what exactly you’re searching for, because you’re totally fine leaving without saying goodbye to Ashton. 

You're quiet on the ride back to Sierra and Luke’s and while you collect your things from their bedroom, she gently checks in.

“See, tonight wasn’t so bad,” she muses. 

“No, it was OK. Good to see everyone,” you shrug. “...Ash looks healthy.” 

“He looks good,” Sierra says pointedly. You say nothing. 

“You sure you’re good to drive?” Luke asks, coming into the room and sitting next to his girlfriend on the bed. “You know you’re always welcome to stay here.” 

“I’m fine, Luke,” you chuckle. You turn and hug them both. “I love you both, I’ll text when I’m home.” They respond by kissing the top of your head and you chuckle fondly as you leave. 

“They seemed OK tonight,” Luke mentions while they get ready for bed.

“They were more than OK, those stubborn kids couldn’t have been more into each other,” Sierra rants. “I think they really miss it, they just won’t admit it.”

“Oh, Ash definitely misses her. I swear, he talked about her less when they were together,” he jokes. Sierra raises an eyebrow, which Luke takes as encouragement to continue rambling about everything Ash had told him. “He knows they fought a lot but he even misses that... he’s been saying he’s glad he never told her he loved her, though. Things would’ve been a lot harder. Messier. I dunno, he’s always asking about her.”

You get home and drop your bag right inside the door with a huge, exhausted sigh and pull out your phone to text Luke and Sierra before heading to your room. You throw open the closet and it only takes you a couple seconds to spot what you’re looking for: that hoodie that Ash left behind and you never bothered to return. 

You stare at it for a beat and then leave to wash your face and brush your teeth; you already know what you’re about to do but you still try to talk yourself out of it. Back in the bedroom, you reluctantly grab the hoodie off of its hanger, change into it and climb into bed. You hold the sleeves to your face and breathe Ashton in; long, deep breaths, letting his smell fill your nostrils. You’ve done this more times than you’d care to admit these past few months; you miss him here, in your space. You curl in a ball and drift off, taking comfort in his scent surrounding you. 

You’re woken up early by your phone buzzing on the nightstand. You see it’s Sierra and pick it up, groaning, making sure she can hear it. “S?”

“Hey babe… can we lunch?” She bubbles. 

“You couldn’t have texted?”

“Sorry, Sunshine, just wanted to hear your lovely voice… and get a definite answer out of you. 1 o’clock, don’t be late!” She sing-songs, hanging up. 

You check your notifications and your heart sinks, not seeing anything from Ashton. You weren’t sure why you thought you would. You curl up and go back to sleep for a while. 

Sierra knows you well enough to guess you fell back asleep without setting an alarm and she starts blowing you up around noon. You text that you’ll see her soon and you start getting ready. You use the most fragrant soap you can find for your shower, ensuring the smell of Ashton's cologne doesn't linger on your skin.

You walk into your usual lunch place and easily spot Sierra on the patio. "Drinks are on their way," she shares as you take your seat.

You chat breezily about the party: how good the food was, how Michael's DJ setup was so much more elaborate than at the last party you attended, how much you loved what Crystal had worn. You wonder out loud if Cal had gone home with the girl he'd been making eyes at all night and Sierra seizes the opportunity to steer the conversation to her topic of choice.

"Speaking of making eyes," she takes a prolonged sip from her glass. "Things seemed a little intense with Ash last night."

You give her a tight-lipped smile, determined not to give her anything she can blow out of proportion. "I told you it was fine. Easier than I expected in a lot of ways, harder in others."

She places her hand on your arm from across the table. "I looked over a few times and saw him with his arm over your chair, you watching him talk… it was like we were back at that resort again," she says wistfully.

You evaluate her face for a moment. Since she's one of your best friends, you're used to being lovingly annoyed with her meddling in your life but sometimes you forget that it comes from a place of genuine love and concern for you. "Regardless of how things turned out, I'll always be grateful you forced me to stay on that trip," you smile. "That was some once in a lifetime kind of shit."

"From what I heard down the hall, sure sounded like it," she teases, grinning as you playfully shoo her hand off your arm. "That anniversary's coming up quick, isn't it?"

"Next week," you blurt, wincing at how quickly you answer.

"We'll have to think of something fun to do together," she declares carefully. "Not that you need it, but just in case you don't want to be alone."

This time you reach over and squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry I haven't been around like I used to, S. I just… needed time," you admit. "It's still hard. Most of the time, actually. But being around you and Lu again feels good. I think I need the support more than I realized."

"Babe," she pouts. "We were there for you before Ash, during Ash and we want to be there for you post-Ash. We love you."

You feel better than you thought you would as you head back to your car. Being honest with Sierra - and yourself - was easier than you expected. You briefly think about texting Ash - nothing major, something chill like "fun catching up last night" - but think better of it.

Sierra gets to her car and immediately texts Crystal, who requested an update when she heard you were getting lunch. She suggests asking Cal’s perspective to get the full picture of where Ash is at, so Sierra calls him on the drive home. 

“Hey Sweet Boy!” She greets him. 

“Sierra!” She can hear the grin on his face at the nickname. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Well, I wanted to ask you how Ash is. I mean, I know what Luke tells me but I feel like he gives you more,” she explains. 

“How do you mean? You saw him last night?” 

“How has he been since the breakup?” She emphasizes. 

“Oh… OH!! Oh! What are you planning? Please tell me you’re doing something, he’s making me crazy. I don’t know what came over him last night,” Cal babbles. 

“I think Luke had a hand in that,” Sierra admits with a sigh. “She came over to get ready with me and I think he probably shared some things he shouldn’t have. You know how he is.”

“What’s in that beautiful brain of yours?” Cal murmurs, letting out an excited little laugh. Out of everyone, he tends to enjoy Sierra’s plans like this the most, especially when they aren’t directed toward him. 

“I don’t know yet… I feel like we just need to get them talking alone again like they were last night, remind them what was there...” she muses. She talks through a few ideas with Calum and he’s on board for any of them.

By the time she gets home, Sierra is raring to go; she practically runs up the stairs to ask Luke for his help.

“Hey hun!” He greets her with a smile when she raps on the door to his studio. He moves the guitar off his lap, silently inviting her to come lay on the couch while they talk. “How was lunch, how’s our girl?”

She fills him in on everything: your mood, your conversation and the consulting she’s been doing among the friend group. Luke seems interested but about halfway through becomes engrossed in his phone and Sierra sits up, irritated. “Babe, you asked, are you even listening?”

He briefly looks concerned and then grins. “Sorry, just distracted by Ash blowing up the group chat, asking if anyone wants to go away next week so he doesn’t have to deal with their anniversary,” he proudly holds up his phone.

Her jaw drops at the opportunity that’s fallen at their feet. “What if…” She starts furiously typing into her phone. “Yes… that house you guys stayed at when you were planning the last album is free.”

“Palm Springs? OK, so…” Luke trails off, trying to follow her logic.

“Band retreat for the boys. Self-care trip for the girls,” she answers, shooting off texts to Crystal, Mike and Cal. 

“That house really isn’t big enough for all of us,” he comments, still lost.

She finally looks up at him, smiling widely. “It’s a good thing they’ll be the only ones going, then.”

————-

Taglist is breaking the links in the post and I currently do not have the brainpower to figure out the problem lol. We’ll try again tomorrow but in the meantime, if you aren’t notified, you can always check the masterlist which will be updated everyday!

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