#i cannot pick a side for the life of me :3

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday lovely Fandom/readers :) I cannot believe we are in the final 3 episodes. If it think on it too much makes me sad. So let's not dwell on that. lol This episode did not disappoint in the least. End to end it was so good. Said this time and time again but it's a theme this year. So proud of this show for returning to it's roots. What I mean by that is the entire show being so damn good along with Chenford SL's. The ensemble side of it is running on all cylinders. Not an easy thing to do 7 seasons in.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy or the last couple years years. I adored them to no end. Don't get me wrong. Was in absolute Chenford heaven and some non ones I loved too. But it's nice to have the show as a whole be fantastic. Week in and week out for the most part again. Each SL having purpose and keeping me engaged. Writers just brought it this year and then some. Continue to see why this is Eric's fav season yet.

It's become mine as well. Seth's return was as impactful and good as I was expecting it to be. Can't explain enough how proud I am of this show. Makes me emotional tbh. Day one girl over here so it just hits me sometimes, how excited I am to see us thrive. The giving season continues to give with the goodies we get in this one. So let us begin.

7x16 The Return

Seth is back....Of course he threw his corrupt oncologist under the bus to get back in. That’s low. I mean I expect nothing less from him. tbh. They could’ve at least sent him to another station… He picked the perfect time to pick on the LAPD I will say. What Wade’s saying is frustrating but unfortunately, he’s right. Letting them know they need someone to train him. I mean piss-pants wouldn’t last two seconds with Tim…But that isn't the plan. Nor would that be fair to Miles.

Poor Lucy’s PTSD is screaming out how much she doesn’t want him. Ugh my heart. Kudos to Melissa in this moment. We watch as she unclenches as Nolan is tapped for this instead. Not excited in the least but willing to take it on. Good man. I have enjoyed Nolan so much more this year than I have in ages. Grey letting him know he's going to have to watch his every move. Document everything this kid does. Ooof been there Nolan. It suckkkssss.

I had someone on my team at my old job like this. Played the system and was a walking law suit just like Seth. They didn’t deserve to be there and that's hard to deal with. I learned the hard way to record literally every detail in order to 'Wash' them out so to speak. It’s not easy to fire a legal liability. Especially when they have the system on their side. All I could think was he’s gonna have to bounce him for the slightest FTO infraction. To have that piled against many other documented offenses. What I had to do. Not an easy feat. Commend Nolan for taking it on.

Lucy so excited to see Tamara. It's precious. Her love for the people in her life is so genuine and pure. Oh my lord. Their hug made me so happy. Didn't get a chance to fit it in but maybe in my in-depth this summer I can haha I had a feeling this would be for Seth though…. Not to see her. Even though that's a bonus for them both. She is there to support this turd of a human being. *sigh* Wanting Lucy to be his friend.

Channeling some 2x06 Tim in telling Tamara she's his training officer not his friend. I mean we all know it was a lie for Tim but very very true for Lucy in this instance. Lucy can see she is losing Tamara to her Tim-like rant and stops. It's here Tamara asks the world of Lucy. By saying she wants to have dinner tonight with her. For her to meet the 'real' Seth. If she only knew how ironic that sentence was...

He has her wrapped out his conniving little finger. I hate it so much. I wanna say how could she be so blind? But I’ve been emotionally manipulated by a man before. It sucks when you come out the other side of it. It happens sadly more often than it should. Ugh the damage this will cause…Lucy being the amazing pseudo mom she is says yes. Wanting to maintain her relationship with her. Not to lose it to Seth and his lies. Other than Tim she is the one person she would do anything for.

Ice cold reception… ooof. You are gonna fail my man. One might ask why come back to this station? Well manipulative narcissists love attention. Even if it’s negative. They thrive off it really. Also they ALWAYS have someone sympathetic to their cause to fuel the sympathy card. In this case it's Tamara. I hate it. Giving me my own ptsd concerning a person like this. I do love Nolan telling him they're skipping roll call get the shop ready. Smart move....

Awesome that his previous errors follow him into his return. No re-do for you. John laying that out right away. Might actually love you in his episode good sir. Seth immediately defending his lie and Nolan is over him already. if you really wanna do this stfu Seth. Only hurting your cause the more you speak.

God Nolan is channeling some Feral Tim here and I’m about it. Get em John! You hurt this station, you hurt Lucy and you dishonored the badge you putz. Nolan is a honorable as they come. Yes that was a compliment lol. And you spat in the face of everything he holds dear about this career. Also you hurt his friend. You are toast my son. Or as Nolan puts it. His nightmare T.O. He crushes Seth with his idc speech.

About how he was raised by someone like him. Grew up with a woman who only used the truth to serve herself. *Mic drop* If that isn’t Seth in a nutshell. Can’t say ever been attracted to Nolan on this show like ever. But hot damn this is a Nolan I can get on board with. lmao I’m enjoying the show. *eats popcorn* Tearing down any preconceived notions this will be easy or he will believe him. Well done John actually really proud of him for this scene. Good job writers.

When Celina tries to see the best about Seth with Lucy all I could do was shake my head. Thinking 'Oh Celina don’t defend him.' That’s the worst thing you could do in this moment. He is not a 'see the best in people kind of guy.' You are talking to the Queen of that and she is over it. He took advantage of her empathy and used it to gain traction in a program he didn’t belong in. As I said earlier he’s doing it for the attention like the lying manipulative narcissist he is. Holy cow this episode is igniting my Sicilian rage with him lol

It brings us to the dinner and how Lucy doesn't have the room to host such an event. So what does she do? Calls her person of course and enlists his help in this. All I could think as she dialed was, OMG Lucy Chen, you’re asking Tim, who’ll go absolutely feral not just for you but for Tamara too, to host this kid in his house for dinner? It's a good thing this man is gone for you. That is quite the ask my girl haha Enticing him with a free home cooked meal at first.

Did make me cackle her eye roll when he said his plans were COD. LOL You love your reclusive little gaming nerd madam. Don't lie. Will say my Feral Tim senses were tingling at the prospect of this. Miles seems so hurt Lucy is cooking for him though. Oh honey, it’s not like that....It's written all over his upset puppy face when it's mentioned. Wanna give him a hug.

The way she says ‘I’ll owe you.’ Dripping with innuendo. Flirt more Lucy my god woman. No shame in her game. Knowing she is being seductive af in her approach. Celina catches on and Lucy has to put up a finger to stop her from saying a word. Knowing exactly what Lucy is throwing down here. Of course he gives in. For a couple reasons. One because Lucy has him wrapped around her finger and she knows it LOL This man would do anything for her. That was the case before he was in love with her. But after? When she has potential sexy times to dangle in front of him? Whew lord. Has him hook, line, and sinker.

Two. He gets nervous with her being so brazen with Miles there. So he answers quickly with an 'Ok.' It's the way his eye dart over to Texas as he delivers his answer that kills me. heh. He can't get too excited with the prospect of her 'owing' him with his rookie in the car lmao I didn't have Lucy seducing Tim with the 'owing' him in on shift on my bingo card. But so glad it happened.

Giving season continues to give. Sweet lord. Celina is all but beaming when Lucy hangs up on him. She is our on-screen shipper this season and I'm here for it. Doesn't waste a second giving her shit about it. She is red af when she tells Celina to shut up haha Lucy is giddy as hell and flying high off that convo and it's adorable to watch. Look at her as red as a tomato once it's said and done. I love it.

There is something so wonderful about how Miles immediately vents his frustration to Tim. This relationship has come so very far. Their scenes just continue to get better as the season goes along. I totally understand his anger. He’s done everything right and yet it’s the bad ones that get the passes. The legs up in life by being dishonest. I could not understand this more if I tried. Twas me in my last job.

His anger is well founded. He’s getting his job back, back pay of 10k, Miles passed up money in 7x13 to do the right thing, and Seth doesn’t and gets all this. 10K in his lap just like that. I get it. Frustrating as hell to watch the bad people of the world have it easier. All I could think was his day will come Texas I promise you.

Karma thou art a cold and relenting bitch. She’s coming for him. He’s racking up bad karma points like he’s collecting carnival tickets. Thing is when he cashes them in all that is waiting is one giant karmic smackdown. Tim tells him exactly that in his statement more or less. For Miles to put him out of his mind. Mark his words *yum* He will wash out again. What ran through my mind after that was your lips to Gods ears Timothy.

Seth comes in wanting more pity. Miles ignores him as first. Holding firm like Tim told him to. Then he gets under his skin about his past. A wound not close to healing and he snaps....As much as he deserves that beating it wasn't the way to go my dear. Tim and Nolan hear the commotion and find them after they've parted.

Tim is less than impressed with their explanation. He looks so disappointed in Miles. That look wasn't enough though. Tim telling Texas straight. His moral compass has me fanning myself. Crushing exactly why he needs to keep his cool. To not let him infect him like he has. Because now look at him. Becoming no better than he is with lying. *sad sigh* He’s not worth it Miles I promise you that. They never are.

Lucy asking where his salad forks are? Lmao. You practically lived with this man. You should know he has no salad forks sweets. lol His fridge full of just beer is such a bachelor thing. I mean that alone should've answered her question really. lol I love him so much. Also could they be more together without being together? His smile when she asked. *happy sigh* I’m on the floor. Just a happy puddle. Leave me here. TIm isn't even pretending he doesn't want to do this with her. He is so happy to have her in his home.

I'm happy to be here as well. Tim's place has become one of my fav spots to be now. They act as married as two people can be that aren't together..... Very s4 of them with the added layer of already knowing they're in love with each other. She legit touches him on her way back into the kitchen. Just watch her while Celina speaks. Her arm touches him with a happy smile before checking on dinner.

I'm dying. Melissa and Eric kill me with their add on's. You know that was intentionally done. They love to make us squee with the smallest things. Just to see if we're looking. I was looking don't you worry. You gotta be looking for this instance but it's there. *screams into a pillow* It's so domestic I'm losing my damn mind. Like her picking lint off his uniform like she did in 5x12. It's second nature this natural touch of hers and it comes through as such. I'm a happy girl.

I love Tim putting his hand up when they hear the doorbell. Shielding her from having to let them in. Wanting to give her that extra time to mentally prep herself for this evening. Such a small but massive gesture. Showing Lucy he's got her back through and through. It makes me so damn happy. He's going to do whatever for her tonight. To do his damndest to help her get through this unscathed.

It's tense as hell from the moment Tim opens the door. They can all feel it. Another reason Tim takes the lead here. His face when he takes their coats....Feral Tim is lurking beneath the surface but keeps him at bay. Loves Lucy so very much to welcome this incredibly unwelcome guest into his home for her. It's as painfully awkward as expected when they come greet Lucy. We see her be genuine in her affections for Tamara and how reserved she is with Seth.

The train wreck of convo continues when he changes course and says 'We-we got you flowers.' Sensing her not caring he got her the flowers. She is trying SO hard to keep it together. Barely squeaks out a thank you before heading back toward the kitchen. ‘What are the chances he took these off a grave?’ Celina Juarez I love you. I was laughing so damn hard at this. Lucy groans and heads back in.

The dinner starts out positive. We find out Tamara is volunteering with a wonderful organization. One that helps homeless people. That they focus on building trust with the mentally ill. Which is utter perfection for her. Honestly that is a *chefs kiss* career trajectory for her. Seems like she is on the right path in every way except for Seth..... Lucy seems so excited and proud of her for it. It does gets slightly tainted with her saying she is going to get Seth involved one day.

Rodge puts his foot in his mouth by speaking in Spanish to Celina about him. Sorry the captions ran over each other. Hulu is a turd lol Saying he's not sure building trust is his thing lol. Gotta give it to him on that one. First time I've liked this dude. Also will give it to them it's cute they communicate in Spanish to each other as a secret language. Still think she could do better but this is cute.

Unfortunately Seth can speak it.....Rodge has to backtrack immediately saying he was just joking. We watch Tim check in on Lucy right away. The way he shifts back in his seat and he keeps his eyes squarely on her. His main concern at this table is her and only her. He did this dinner for her and is ready to be her emotional support should the need arise. Lucy looks ready to burst before this next section happens. It's why Tim is watching her like a hawk.

I will say I loved the looks shared over the table during this whole thing. Oh my lord. The silent communication always a fav of mine. They check in with each other from across the table. Also just the way Tim watches Lucy too. Gauges the whole table but mainly keeps a beat on her. Waiting for a signal to jump in or not. He reads her the entire dinner. I love it. Knowing if she needs him she will signal him. He's just waiting for that sign to tag in or not.

We watch as her ring gets exposed....All I could think was sweet lord no Tamara. You’re so much smarter than this. Seth stumbling saying it's not what it looks like. That it's a promise ring. Rodge coming in with another solid point. Saying that's exactly what a engagement ring is....For a habitual liar he's so very bad at it. It's unreal. Also Celina pulling on her ear like crazy being ignored by all at the table lol We are far past that now though.

I knew the ring was gonna set her off. Hell it set me off. I had to pause and reprimand her myself. This is Lucy's tipping point. Especially after Seth says he had extra money lying around. Poor choice of words to use my dude. I love the way Tim's eyes shift over to Lucy when she says 'You had extra money?' angrily. He knows when his girl is ready to go off on one. But she is off to the races before he can do anything about it.

He wasn't stopping this one. Instead he just sit backs and watches her let it rip. Knowing she needs to get this out of her system. Lucy lets out all she’s had pent up. He is PTSD in walking form for her. Not only that but he's infecting someone very dear to her. So I get it. It’s already a tough pill for her to swallow with just him at work. But with Tamara and her future? Being so nonchalant bout the ring and how he got it. She can't handle it any longer.

Sadly no one hears anger clearly when they’re already on the defensive. Especially if it’s about someone they’re protecting. Which is Tamara in this moment. Even though Lucy is in the right it's not well received. It's why Tim doesn't jump in. I was expecting some Feral Tim but this was the smarter play for him. Even if it wasn't the right move to lose it he didn't need interfere. It would just pour fuel on Lucy’s fire and do nothing to ease the tension. We watch Tamara take off with Seth as a result and it's not easy to stomach.

We see Tim showing up like a god damn snack the following morning. Hell not just a snack but a whole god damn meal. Scruffy in a leather jacket and henley.*fans self* Not only that but he has arrived to support her before his shift. I’m dead. I’m posting from the grave. If you've been looking for his small doses all year. This is a glaringly sweet one. My god look at how excited he looks to just share a ride and prep with her. Doing his Lucy smile in front of other people. OTHER PEOPLE. Transparent Tim you are a wonder.

I’m dying of happiness right now. She is giving heart eyes right back at him. Truly touched by his thoughtfulness to show up before work and make the time for this. Make time for her. Forever floored by the changed man in front of her. After the mess that was last night, this was exactly what she needed and her reaction says it all. Legit flirting in front of Celina and Rodge too. They don’t even care. Tim doesn't care. Which is mind blowing.

He is sunshine from the moment he steps into that apartment. Yes, that's right I said Tim Bradford and sunshine in the same sentence. And I'm not referring to Lucy in this regard. He is so damn happy to just be there for her and its radiating off him in waves. So much so he is flirting with her in front of people. Pre-therapy Tim never would've. He's grown so much in his openness I could cry. He is a puppy dog in love and doesn't care who see's it. It's written all over his demeanor from the moment he walks in the door.

'What was that?' LMAO You think you can get shit past his cop eyes? Foolish fools lol But also babe, you were a shining beacon of 'I’m in love with Lucy' from the moment you walked in the door. Even a laymen like Rodge could see it….You guys aren't known for your subtlety either haha But you were on blast from the moment you came in. Just like he has been all season long. Also doesn't help his case Lucy was just as flirtatious in return. Fueling his flames. I love him trying to sell the whole ‘we’re just friends’ thing.

Like showing up for her, heart practically on his sleeve, is just some casual act of support. You two couldn’t do casual if your lives depended on it.. He's so god damn cute trying to defend himself though. I cannot. While we know he is there to support her. Truly he is. There is zero doubt about that. The man is ecstatic to help her cross the finish line of this. Especially since the detective one was such a disaster. But the other half is damn near giddy about the implications of her passing this test. We all know what those are. I don't even to type that up.

To say he is excited about the prospect is an understatement. I love his defeated ‘OK'. Hahahaha Eric's inflection killing me and has me rolling so much. Knows he is in a losing battle with these two and just gives up lol Also I wouldn't be me if I didn't comment on how sinfully delicious he looks. Holy fuck he is looking all kinds of fine. It's criminal how attractive this man is. Scruffy, in a leather jacket and a tight shirt? God damn the man is a feast for the eyes. He is sex on two legs walking. Sweet lord he is exuding illegal levels of attractiveness. It's almost unfair. Also seeing him so happy and free is insanely sexy in its own right I have to say. *phew* Ok I'm done. I might need some ice water though. lmao

Tim doesn’t waste a second on the drive to her test—he jumps straight into firing off questions. Or he's been firing them off for awhile at this point, with the way they drift off topic. Either way look at the blatant heart eyes and smile as Tim quizzes her. Just look at her. Oh my lord. It's bringing her back Tim doing this for her. Also for how much this last minute prep means to her. They didn't get to do this with the detectives exam.

Always blows my mind how much these two both convey with just their eyes. Be more in love with him Lucy. I dare you. You're just as transparent as your counterpart. My goodness. If he looked over long enough he would see her gushing at him. She is in full on swoon mode over this man right now. Also sorry the gif gets blurry for a second.

My phone did a thing and I was too lazy to re-make it not gonna lie lmao Tim's reply of 'Very good.' has Lucy buzzing. He asks if she feels ready? Lucy feeling as ready as a person can be for such a test. Tim's satisfied smile is the sweetest as he accepts this answer. Happy she is a in a good space before all of this.

We can see Lucy psyching herself up to say something to Tim. Knowing this last minute prep is more than just that. Trying to pull it out of him the real reason WHY he’s doing this. Needing to hear it. She starts off with thanking him for the ride. Tim being chill saying it's no problem. Lucy tries again with thanking him for helping her study. She is beating around the bush here and he is not picking up what she is throwing down right now haha Which is a rarity for them.

I truly think he feels he was returning the favor for her. Genuine in his reply. Another one of his small doses in action. To repay her kindness to him. For helping him out all those years ago when he went for it. To support her the way she did for him in s2. I think he genuinely wanted to make a meaningful difference this time. Carrying the weight of her failed Detectives exam on his shoulders a bit.

Knowing what an absolute disaster that was. Wanting this one to go so much better than the first time he helped her out. Lucy isn't getting the reaction she wants though. Clearly she is wanting to talk about what happens if she passes. In this moment, that future suddenly holds a lot of appeal to her. Especially after all he's done for her with this exam. This ride of their's being the cherry on the top of it all.

This is my favorite part of this scene. The banter alone is glorious holy shit. We are so lucky to have Eric and Melissa helming this couple. Displaying that lightning in a bottle only they have. No one does it better than our ship at verbal sparring. Lucy can't take it any longer and finally just says what's on her mind. She asks if part of the reason he's doing this has anything to do with the promise she made? One of 'physical intimacy' if she makes Sergeant. Such a Lucy way to approach this without saying anything about a relationship. lol The promise of that is part of it of it for sure. Not gonna lie. But we know that is not all of it.

It's a damn good by-product of her passing though lol I love him saying not if but when she makes Sergeant. My man still building her up even when she's giving him shit. Her smile says it all though. Just soaking in his praise. He continues on saying that this is what friends do for each other. It's his sassy comment following this that gets me the most. I was dying with his tone and absolute snark while delivering it. Facial expressions and all. Tim throwing back her words at her had me cackling. Not only that but adding his own spin. 'Without thinking of The joys of physical intimacy.' I'm dying. Now hers is a more refined version of ‘naked time’ moment imo. It's what it reminds me of. LOL I love it sfm.

Tim doesn't let her get away with it either in his reply. The flirting is on another level here. Holy hell. The verbal sparring is foreplay x1000 for these two. Lucy knows he is mocking her and calls him on it. Asking if he really thinks this the best path forward? She is smiling the entire time btw. Tim doesn't hesitate with his dazzling Lucy smile and reply. 'Yeah absolutely.' You know she loves this. Has missed this rapport with him. It's an intimacy she has longed to have back. This kind of banter is at their very core. It’s so cute and light and fun. I’m dizzy with delight we've returned to this place. If you were wondering if they're back. Truly back. This moment is proof of that. Seamless flirty banter at it's finest. Healing this old shipper heart of mine.

Tim follows that up by saying that, once she has passed the test, they won't have that pesky rank issue anymore. First off love his certainty she's going to crush this. Just like detective there is no doubt in his mind she's got this. Second Tim is once again throwing down they could be together after she passes. Tried and true this year in his steadfastness with that. Letting her know on every level how much he wants to be with her.

Hasn't been shy or reserved in the least regarding that. It’s up to Lucy to decide if she wants that when they get there though. He respects her boundaries about this. Something he's been so damn good at this entire season. He ends their convo telling her 'Not that either of them are reading into that though.' Yeah not at all.... Not what this entire convo was centered around... Tim once more as he has all year is leaving it up to her.

Laying it at her feet to do with it what she will. Giving Lucy her agency back a little bit more each time he does this. Building her up, showing his interest and desire to be with her. BUT ultimately leaving it up to her to decide their fate. It has to be Lucy to be one the decide she wants to do this again. It’s very clear Tim does. But he won’t make a move unless she does. Respecting her boundaries as he’s done since their chat during their stakeout in 6x10.

Was happy to See Tamara there when Lucy arrived home from her test. It's a little tense at first when she asks about the test. Lucy giving best answer she can. Letting Tamara lead this conversation. Doesn't take her long to apologize. To show her how much she doesn't want to lose her friendship with her over it all. Lucy having the best reply she can in this moment.

Telling her that's not possible and giving the sweetest hug. The relief on Tamara's face is everything. Her relationship with Lucy means everything to her. Glad she was able to tap back into that and come apologize. That Seth hadn't clouded her that much. Their sweet reconciliation is interrupted by news about Seth.

Oh my, I LOVE the Tim and miles scene here. Miles being the good soul he is feels immense guilt. For fighting with him and being resentful. For lashing out on him like he did. Now that he's hurt he is feeling like a complete ass. I adore how Tim is here for him in this moment. Knowing it's complex what he is feeling right now. That he feels stupid for not listening to Tim. For letting his emotions win out. Tim can see all this churning inside him.

So he steps up to help him through it. His advice is perfection here. First off let me say how proud I am of Tim for telling Miles his feelings are valid. That Seth has earned that anger and resentment out of him. Doesn't shame him for feeling this way at all. That it's ok he feels this. Regardless of what's going on right now in this moment with him. Letting him know yeah he's a bad guy. A bad guy who did a heroic and selfless thing. So yeah it's going to be murky on how to feel. That it's complicated to say the least.

To me personally this doesn't erase all he did. It was heroic and selfless that much is sure. Did I want this fate for him? Of course not. I wanted him to go out on his job performance not this. They all did. I just love Tim seeing the guilt Miles is carrying and tries to assuage him of it a little. Might not be able alleviate it all but Tim validating him is everything. This such a lovely scene between them. They've come so far and this scene is a wonderful reflection of that.

John Nolan had some excellent scenes with Seth in this episode. Seriously if they wrote him more like they have this season, my respect would come back. He handled this entire things like a pro. Didn't let Seth shake or deter him in anyway. This scene right here was so so good. Kudos to Patrick and his performance here. It's phenomenal. This was karma in all it's glory happening right here. The one time he’s actually selfless and heroic, it destroys the career he so fiercely protected with his web of lies.

It's poetic justice at it absolute finest I will say. John's words here are so full of sage and true wisdom. This kid is getting a huge lesson and it's up to him to decide what to do with it. Up him to him to chart a course back to being a good person. First time Seth has been honest since he arrived. Telling John he doesn't know if he can maintain that road of honesty. He's not sure he can take another road in this crossroads. Will he continue at the station or any station in a diminished capacity? I don't think so. That would require serious work on himself and being ok with the fact he can't have career he wants to anymore. To not have excuses.

Nolan already called him out about shortcuts. While this may have earned him some good will. I don't see him putting in that effort to stick around the station in this capacity. John doesn't get to finish this with him though. Let's Tamara have time with him. He tells her everything (finally) and of course she breaks it off. Saying Lucy warned her. She sure did sweets.....This is what being a manipulating habitual liar gets you. Someday you run out of people to support you. Now he has to go through this leg trauma alone. That's rough. Like I said not a fate I would've wished on him. But definitely one he earned...

Look at them meeting up at the end of the day. Discussing Tamara. My heart. Tamara googling how to join a nunnery. lol Oh my word. I do not blame her. Poor thing I can't even. It’s gonna take her some time to get past this. That is for sure. Learning to trust people again is knowing you could be hurt again. That is an unfortunate fact of life sadly. Tim’s reply made me cackle though. I love him. Lucy saying it’ll pass. It will. Like a kidney stone but it will…. I love him immediately moving onto how she’s doing? The soft way he asks her is everything. Be still my heart.

Look at where we are everyone. Just look. Last time they were at this table they were physically together. But emotionally? Miles and miles apart from where they are now. They’ve come so far to be in this moment right now. With Lucy leaning on him emotionally like this. Very couple like thing to do. Get a meal after work and discuss their day together. Adore her venting out her anxieties to him. Wondering how she really did on that test.

Been a slow climb back to the top. But a gloriously beautiful one. We haven't hit the summit yet but we're getting there. It's on the horizon Fandom. Don't these moments feel like they just hit more with having built up to it? They do for me. Like we earned them. That Tim has earned this time with her. Getting to see and share in this side of her again. It's so glorious. I mean we haven't even gotten to reconciliation yet and I'm on a ship high. I can't even imagine how rewarding that'll feel when we arrive there. It'll feel hard-won and all the more satisfying I know that.

Tim being s7 is perfection in his reply. Doing what he's done so well all year. Build her up. Not letting her have an ounce of doubt. Saying there is no way to know but let’s assume she aced it. Positive thinking can’t hurt tbh. Look at Tim being positive for her. Not letting any self doubt creep in. Man believes in her so much it’s unreal. Lucy kicking into flirting mode. Saying what should they do based off that assumption? Wondering where he is going with this. I mean she has to know a little. But is trying to confirm.

Tim leaning forward all sexy and seductive just says ‘Celebrate?’ This man could not want her more if he tried. He’s always a billboard but my goodness he is forward with his question. I’m here for it. Chomping at the bit to be with her again. Shows in his body language and telling reply. I will commend Lucy for her self control here. My good look at him.

If Tim Bradford leaned forward looking like that. All flirty and staring at me like he is at Lucy and said 'Celebrate?' With his cute puppy dog in love face. I would drag him to the nearest dark corner and have my way with him. LOL But I understand Lucy's hesitation below. I truly do. If this doesn't work out like they want and she gives in. All it'll cause is for the water between them to get murkier and they'll just be miserable for it. Because at the end of the day nothing would've changed for them at work. She just can't risk it till it's a sure thing.

I love her resetting his expectations here as well. Holding true to that emotional boundary she set in 7x12. Nothing physical past midnight on April Fool's. Also it’s is VERY important he knows she didn’t take this test for him. To put her foot down about it. All flirting aside this is first time she's felt any stability in her career in a long time. Or joy for the future because she now has a goal in mind. S6 wrecked her in so many ways. Her remaining damage about that is showing in this moment IMO. Because last time she did anything in her career for him it blew up on her. Epically. As we all painfully know. Very important to her that distinction is being made here.

This is for her. For her to have career clarity. Her PTSD shining through in this moment I will say. She is desperate to have a different outcome this time. This moment reminds me of her setting the expectations back in 5x10. Where Tim was ready for some naked time and Lucy had to guide him to where she’s at. Beautiful thing is Tim just like he did then is going to honor what she wants. He may be ready to go right now but Lucy isn’t. It's why he poses 'celebrating' as a question to her. Wants to test the waters but also wants to continuously meet her where she is at. He respects the boundary she just laid out. And for him to understand why she did this.

Tim understands completely. Saying Of course. That it was a smart career move. And it is. He’ll always champion her having a successful career. Always. It reflects in his reply back to her. Sitting back and physically respecting the boundary as well. Lucy continues on saying she hasn’t passed yet. That things haven’t changed between them before that. He’s still currently her boss. Also feel like there may be just one more chat ahead of us. I could be wrong. But that ‘things haven’t changed between us' felt loaded. There was some charged anger in that ‘I didn’t take this test for you.’ There is probably more here I can't discern just yet. Have to wait till the end of the season but feel solid my initial analysis of this.

After Lucy says her piece we are right back to flirty hopefulness. They’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame, especially as we get closer to this reconciliation. Tim rests back in his seat knowing there will be no celebrating here tonight. He shot his shot and was denied. He respects it immediately. But stay’s steady in his hope there will be in the future. Saying next week we will know. With this knowing smile that Lucy mirrors right back at him. Smiling back with her own heart eyes and in love smile. Saying 'Yes we will.’ Oooh lord we close fandom we are so close. Look at how much these two just love each other.

The smiles saying more than words ever could. Especially Lucy's. That is the smile of a woman who is ready for this next chapter with Tim. For this next chapter of her career. If it comes with the love of her life on top of it. That is just a delicious addition to it all. They’re legit having eye sex at the food truck park. My god. I'll be intrigued to see what happens when she passes. She's forgiven him. He knows as such. The test has been this barrier to true reconciliation for awhile. What will happen when that barrier is truly gone? How Lucy reacts when there is nothing left standing in their way anymore?

Will the second confession she almost made in 7x15 get its conclusion? Idk and that's the fun part. I know I am excited to see how this season wraps up. This season has been a wonderful wild card in the best way. Could not be more pleased with their development this year. The slow burn and delayed gratification has been beyond amazing to watch unfold. Thank you to every single reader who likes, comments ( these are so fun), and reblog these impressions. Had a blast this year. You all are the reason for that. See you all in 7x17 :)

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Love the boys getting ready. Talking sports. Miles coming in Texas Af LOL It was such a cute way to start the episode.

‘Where’s Darwinism when you need it?’ I love this man so much it’s insane. Never change my love never change. Was excited I got to fit this in.

Nolan got some damn good dialogue in this one. I have to say. Him asking where that man's fandom was that helped them? Solid John. Very Solid.

Those social media kids drove me insane. I must be getting old LOL

I love how Lucy handled that idiotic crowd for Angela. My blood was boiling. Handled it like a damn champ.

Can’t say next weeks excites me. Because I can’t stand Skip tracer Randy tbh. Hopefully it’ll be good regardless of him being there and we get some follow-up for Chenford and the Sergeant exam. But my guess is that’ll be more of a finale thing? I don't do spoilers so I don't actually want an answer haha We shall see either way.

[outerfeathers-creates]

redrew some frames from tender lovin cannibal as @zleepysnails Opposite AU these were fun and time consuming to draw

unrelated thing, these are the frames I based em off of I love them both

[cuntyji]

will be writing this as a full-length fic soon…..amen!!

your relationship with nanami kento is the definition of ironic.

the office sees him as the perfect gentleman—level-headed, dependable, the very image of an ideal husband. meanwhile, you? you are the sweet, naive darling of the workplace, someone who gasps at crude jokes and stumbles over words when discussing anything remotely risqué. ‘a match made in heaven,’ they all say.

except, unbeknownst to your dear colleagues, you are a raging nymphomaniac with a one-track mind and a concerning dedication to testing nanami’s limits. 

and unbeknownst to you, nanami is a retired playboy who has seen, done, and invented things that would make your little schemes look like a child's game of seduction.

case #1

it’s after work, and you two are in the break room. you “accidentally” drop your pen, bending down waaaayyyy too slow to pick it up, making sure your skirt rides up just enough to be suggestive. when you glance up at nanami, expecting maybe a sharp inhale, a slight stutter, anything—he just averts his eyes politely and sighs. “you should be more careful,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee.

…excuse me? that was textbook seduction! and all he’s giving you is a life lesson? “right,” you mutter, picking up the pen and standing up. he hums in response, unbothered. internally, you are seething. externally, you giggle and twirl a strand of hair around your finger.

but, on the other side of things—inside nanami’s mind, sirens are blaring. red alert. red alert. his eyes are on the ceiling. his knuckles are white around his coffee cup. he is chanting sutras in his head because he is one wrong move away from pinning you against the fridge. but no. no. he will not be like his past self. he will not ruin your innocence with his past perversions. “next time, hold onto your pen properly,” he adds.

you nearly choke. that sounded so suggestive. was that suggestive? but his face remains neutral. damn it.

case #2

one morning, you decide to test the waters by “accidentally” wearing one of nanami’s dress shirts to breakfast. you stretch a little tooooo much while reaching for the honey, making sure the fabric lifts enough to tease him. “oh no,” you say, “i think i grabbed the wrong shirt! it’s so big on me, kento.” you add a slight pout for effect. nanami doesn’t even blink. “ah, my mistake for folding it with your laundry.”

you stare at him. that’s it? not even a pause before responding? no flustered reaction? what is this man made of?????

meanwhile, nanami is gripping his fork like it’s a stress ball. the sight of you in his shirt is awakening something inside him that he spent years suppressing. memories of past flings, of long nights and tangled sheets, of being far from the gentleman he’s known as today—no. no. he is different now. he is refined. composed. civilized. “you should eat before your food gets cold,” he adds, stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth before he can say something dangerous.

you slump in your chair. you’re starting to think your boyfriend might actually be asexual.

case #3

you opt for the classic “watch a horror movie together” trick. the goal? get scared and cling to nanami, maybe “accidentally” bury your face into his chest. standard. foolproof. except—

“you’re shaking,” nanami notes. you look up at him, eyes wide and watery. yes. yes. take the bait. comfort me, kento.

he reaches for the remote.

“huh?”

he turns the movie off.

“i don’t think this is good for you,” he says. “we should sleep.”

…you are speechless.

meanwhile, nanami is on his last thread of sanity. if you keep clutching his arm like that, he is going to fold. but he will not. he cannot. he must protect your innocence. even if it kills him.

case #4

one rainy evening, you come home completely drenched from forgetting your umbrella. hair dripping, clothes clinging to every curve—you look like the lead actress of a romcom who is about to get thoroughly ravished by the male lead. nanami, who opens the door for you, malfunctions. but on the outside? his face remains blank. “you should change before you catch a cold.”

what. the. fuck.

“c-can you lend me one of your shirts?” you try, shivering. “of course.” and with that, he disappears into the bedroom, returning with sweatpants and a hoodie.

A HOODIE.

where is the white button-up? the gray sweatpants?  you take the clothes in silence. this is your lowest point.

meanwhile, nanami is pouring himself a glass of ice water. his soul is escaping his body.

case #5

you decide to take a break from your antics. maybe you were reading into things too much. maybe nanami truly is just that reserved. maybe…maybe he just isn’t interested in you that way.

that night, nanami is in bed, scrolling through his phone when he stumbles upon a post:

"when a man truly loves you, he will control himself so he doesn't ruin you."

he stares at the post. then at the ceiling. “ah,” he mutters.

so that’s why.

in the darkness of your shared bedroom, you both lay in silence—both believing you’re the one restraining yourself for the sake of the other.

a tragic comedy. a love story with too many misunderstandings.

a match made in heaven.

[rockingbytheseaside]

omg, I am quite literally in love with your work.

pls I cannot tell you how frickin ecstatic I am when I read your stuff 😭 like I’m Fr Rolling on the floor and stopping every five secs bc of the butterflies-

AND! I saw that your asks are open!! (If I misread/misunderstood then I’m so sorry and just ignore this) I was wondering if you could do Harbingers x reader when they find reader quietly weeping- like reader thought they were alone and didn’t wanna burden them :3 romantic if you would !!

no pressure ofc!!!! fr I love ur stuff sm like I’ve been reading ur stuff OVER AND OVER😭😭😭

(bshdhsgdhagjds Okay, let me just hold in my tears- that’s so kind of you anon! Sorry for making you wait, I hope this is something similar to what you wanted) 

✦ How they comfort you when you cry

Pierro, Capitano, Dottore, Scaramouche, Pantalone, Childe

Sometimes, your days might feel bitter, and sometimes the weight of your inner struggles can accumulate into a somber heap of self-doubt. Whether it was a minute inconvenience that resulted in your dampened mood, or stressful memories of the past – the reasons behind it fade into insignificance. Because next thing you know, you feel your shoulders slightly shaking, and your hand reaching to conceal your silent weeping. Thus, when talking becomes a burden and your breath runs short, your beloved is the first to listen to your sniffles.

✧ Pierro’s already icy gaze becomes unreadable. Is it fear? Is it astonishment? Or is it the readiness to unleash hell upon anything that compelled you to shed these silent tears? He sees you hugging yourself, trying to shield yourself away from him. His gloved hands cautiously reach for your form, like a blanket wrapping itself around your shoulders. 

“My divine one, why hide your tears away from me? Why conceal the sadness in your eyes when you silently weep? Please, grace me with your gaze and look at me.” 

His voice is careful despite its deepness, suppressing his boiling temper at the sight of your sadness. He reaches for you tenderly, and when you turn towards him, you allow yourself to cry further into his chest. He cradles you silently, never once wasting breath on simple shushes or admonishments to cease crying. No, The Jester will hold you, let his lips press softly to your forehead, and let you cry as much as you need. He'll personally worship and wipe every teardrop off your cheek. 

Yet despite his gentle arms, you sense him shaking. His gloved hands hold you securely, yet subconsciously gripping. Because pray to the archons above, he will not rest until the source of your sadness is annihilated. 

✧ Il Capitano never saw you cry before. He saw you as an equal in matters of battles, duels, and personal life. Through ups and downs, your best and worst. And yet the imposing, mighty Captain never witnessed his beloved’s face slowly scowl and emit those saddened sobs as you're doing now. 

“No… who bestowed such sadness onto you, my cherished? What sorrows are you fighting?” 

He asks, half in disbelief and worry. The Captain kneels down, the back of his armored hands gracefully meeting your face. He makes sure you’re not physically in pain, his touch asking permission for the simplest caress. You might feel embarrassed to explain why you're crying, but the Captain will coax you to talk only if you bestow him this honor. Otherwise, he never mocks or admonishes you for crying – “This is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of humanity in your strength.”

To soothe you, he'd drape an arm around your shoulder, bringing the side of his coat to shield you. If you desire, he'd immediately discard his coat entirely and wrap it over your shoulders. And if you desire neither this or that, he'd silently kneel, asking for permission to pick you up in his forearms, so you may rest on his shoulder while he carries you away. 

✧ You cannot conceal your sorrows from Il Dottore. He suspects you are feeling dejected before you even realize it. Should your shoulders quiver and tears well in your eyes, he'll be the first to perceive it. His already tense countenance will harden, and in short, murderous intent, he’ll ask:

“Who did this to you?”

His first suspension is that someone foolish enough dared to hurt you, and his next task is to seek out that moron. And stars above, if someone did ruin your day, the Doctor will have a new cadaver on his lab table. You'll have to physically restrain the Harbinger in front of you by putting your hands on his shoulder and explaining hurriedly that no one did anything harmful. 

Il Dottore won't quell his inner rage so easily though. As you shake your head, and rub your eyes, it will require much persuasion to convince him that it’s not as dire as he suspects. Nonetheless, Dottore will keep a tight hold on your form. If he won't murder someone in rage, then he'll prepare a soothing beverage and wrap you up in a comfortable seating so you may rest your weary head. He’ll have to personally drag you to sit by his lap so you won’t desolate yourself into a depressive fit again. 

“Wasting your breath and energy on crying is a futile endeavor. You'll only tire your body out… so rest in my arms before your mind starts weaving more puny sentiments.” 

✧ The ever-prideful and strict Scaramouche would find himself faltering into silence when the unfamiliar sound emanates from your being. The hiccupped sounds of choked cries are not foreign to him - he recognized them very well and was personally acquainted with the physical pain of crying. But seeing the closest being, the one he calls most cherished, to unexplainable weep was a new form of pain he had never experienced. 

“... Are you-? What's wrong, are you hurt? Did something-!”

An expression of shock and fear bestows the Balladeer, his hands are reluctant and afraid to cross your boundaries when you cry in front of him. His first instinct is to believe that he has erred, that he has hurt you or spoken insensitively. Anguished, his fist tightens, dreading your stern rejection. Yet, all it takes is a gentle shake of your head and a soft reassurance - no, he hasn't actually done anything wrong.

His brow will remain furrowed, and only under your permission, he would glue himself to you in a reassuring embrace. It's only after he's assured of your safety and well-being that the Harbinger begins to ease up and scoff. Maybe, just maybe, he will go and bring your favorite sweets afterward. Regardless, his hands kept cupping your face, thumbs gently wiping your tears.

“Ha, you’re that sensitive that you’d weep at the most minor inconvenience? Fine, I’ll stay here. But don’t get too comfortable. And you better stop apologizing for crying. You should never say sorry for something like that. It’s in your right to cry… Just come to me when something’s troubling you, alright?”

�� You cannot recall a single instance when Pantalone's captivating smile ever wavered. The man has perfected his charismatic, million-mora smile that only you can discern if he’s being genuine or not. But to witness it dropping completely in a cold stare while you cried was chilling. You felt scared, as the Harbinger grew eerily silent with each slow step, he demanded:

“... Give me names and I will make sure they will disappear permanently.”

You jolted. This was bad, and it sure didn’t quell your sobbing as you hurriedly shook your head. Pantalone took a deep sigh, his brain forced to flip a switch and change to a more tender tone so he wouldn’t scare you further with his sinister rage. He will deal with the causes later. What mattered now was your shaken state. Hence, like the dotting lover he is, he softly inquired whether you wish to talk or have some privacy. 

If you willingly welcomed his physical touch, then prepare yourself for a day filled with him enfolding you tightly. He will draw you near, letting you cry your frustrations out until you get fatigued and rest against his lean chest. The Regrator always fulfills his pledges, gently rocking you back and forth. He will vow to spoil you on the next shopping spree and purchase everything you desire - luxuries, clothes, perfumes, or fancy meals, all of it is yours with a snap of his fingers (even if you reprimand his indulgence). His embraces are tenacious, endless kisses raining down on your face until you plead and whine to be released from his insistent hugs.

"My heart, how can I possibly release you when you should be adorned with kisses instead of tears? I am afraid I won’t be so easily reassured until I see your smile again."

✧ Tartaglia’s highlight of the day is mirroring your luminous smile; hence when he first heard your sorrowful sniffles, it felt like a sudden dark cloud washed past him, pouring cold water to wipe his smile off in an instant. Without hesitation, his hand found itself on your shoulder as he guided you to sit first.

“Hey, hey… What’s wrong, darling? I’m here, it’s alright.”

He observes your attempt to explain the root of your troubles, but as you try to elaborate, your tears only intensify against your own will. Kneeling in front of you, his gaze was resolute - he now had a mission. He will immediately soothe your mood with tender words of endearment, lighthearted banter, and the occasional joke here and there, anything to make you crack up with that sweet smile he so adores.

Tartaglia will remind you that first and foremost, he is your Ajax - the one who will bring laughter through his playful teasing and delightful humor during your times of melancholy. The one who will cook you the best Snezhnayan Bliny better than any pancake restaurant. And the one who will always be there so you can lean your head on his shoulder and just feel his heartbeat as he embraces you deeply. In any other circumstances, he is the 11th of the Fatui Harbinger who will work and bloody his fists for your safety. However, for now, you shouldn’t occupy your thoughts with such concerns.

“Hey, it’s alright… You don’t have to feel embarrassed for crying. We all have bad days from time to time. How about this, leave today’s dinner on me. I shall cook your favorite even better than you could imagine! Or else what sort of boyfriend would I be if I’m not spoiling my darling.” 

[neeeooon]

when you’re on your period ;

blue lock x afab!reader

isagi yoichi

-> #panicking

-> that one boy in class who skipped the period video cause the word “blood” made him pass out, so now he knows next to nothing about periods

-> lived a peaceful life of fake-it-til-you-make-it until he started dating you

-> “hey, isagi? do you mind picking some pads up on your way back from practice?” “… like make-up pads?” “uh, period pads?” “period pads?” “… for blood?” “bl—“ and he sees stars

-> you have to sit him down and give him “the talk”

itoshi sae

-> feigns disinterest but is a total secret sweetheart

-> he’d drag his feet a bit when you ask him to grab ice cream for you, but will buy four pints of every flavor you ever mentioned liking

-> when sae returns with bags of ice cream, you cry

-> he freaks out a little, though he knew it was likely due to your hormones. “did i get the wrong kind..?” “YOURE SO CUTE I CANNOT STAND YOU.” “should i leave—“ “PLS HUG ME RN.”

itoshi rin

-> like isagi, he is clueless

-> you don’t have to have “the talk” but you do tell him that he’s going to be annoying to you no matter what he does for the next few days

-> he’s lowk offended but tries not to take it to heart. even when he grabbed a little too much of the blanket you were sharing and fell off the couch when you snatched it back

-> rin doesn’t fear many things. he has issues, yes, but none that count as a “fear”. he quickly realized he is very afraid of you on your period

-> he’d be hiding in the bedroom when you throw the door open and tackle him. “honey! let’s watch grey’s anatomy reruns!” “NOOOOO” as you drag him to the couch

bachira meguru

-> he grew up with a single mother. he knows what to do

-> knows before your period starts that it’s coming and stocks up on supplies: products, teas, snacks, towels, etc.

-> you get super depressed on your period, so bachira acts as a ray of sunshine, bringing light everywhere he goes. it doesn’t always make you feel 100%, but you never have the heart to turn him away

-> bundles you in blankets like a cocoon and wraps his arms around your middle. “does it hurt?” “mm, not as much anymore <3”

kunigami rensuke

-> kunigami knows it’s just a part of life, and though periods really freak him out, he’s never let you know that

-> “hey, babe? can you please grab a tampon from my bag? the second pocket!” “tampon… tampon…” he finds your emergency stash and just hand everything to you since you had a few separate brands and he can’t tell which is better

-> you find his cute cluelessness endearing and thank him with a cheek kiss before going to clean yourself up

-> he does lots of research after that and will gladly let you drag him around the house to help you with things or listen while you rant/cry/beg for snuggles

chigiri hyoma

-> he has experience helping his big sister out when they were younger (not by choice) so this stuff doesn’t sway him

-> chigiri has such a chill presence that you don’t find him annoying, which surprises you because you tend to hate everyone on your period

-> though he hates it, he’ll entertain you and your antics. “i’m dying.” “you’re not dying.” “i’m dying and the only way i’ll survive is with a kiss. and an extra large cheese pizza. and a churro.” “*sighs*”

-> he’ll help you with your skin care when you’re too tired and play with your hair when you ask

yukimiya kenyu

-> omg such a gentleman

-> somehow he knows more about your period than you do?? when you tell him your side hurts, he rubs a spot you didn’t even point at, and all your pain vanishes

-> “are you a wizard?” “what was that, sweetheart?” “you’re a magical period vanquishing wizard, aren’t you?” “uh, sure!”

-> would love to take you to dinner to relax but knows you wouldn’t be caught dead out of the house, so he cooks for you instead

karasu tabito

-> you aren’t entirely sure why, but he is great when it comes to that time of the month

-> he claims he’s an “empath” and at first you thought it was a cheap flirting tactic, but your mind changed when he was able to pick up on your moods without even looking at you

-> somehow never gets on your nerves. it’s like he knows exactly where the line is and knows to stay very far away from it

-> karasu absolutely spoils you during this particular time of the month. let’s you pick everything without complaint, even when you’d usually decide on where to eat or what to watch together

-> “how much longer do you think we can live on sushi and chocolate cake before we die?” “how many days are left in your period?” “about two.” “then about two.”

otoya eita

-> bro cannot be serious

-> hops on twitter and starts spamming how awful period cramps are, how the world would be a better place if the menstrual cycle didn’t exist, etc.

-> everything he does ticks you off, and he knows it. he finds it very attractive when he gets under your skin, even when you threaten to behead him

-> “i might shave my head bald.” “fine !” “and then paint my head pink.” “go for it !” “and tattoo ‘i <3 y/n on my face.” “NO.”

[rotagnus]

how does this person feel about you?

can be asked about platonic/romantic bonds--but this person should be one you have interacted with at least once. doesn't apply to celebrities or people who don't know an ounce about your existence, sorry baby <3

uhhh this will be intuitive. and tarot reading, obviously. you can ask this for multiple people and pick different piles--if it doesn't resonate, don't force it to. a tarot reader cannot resonate for the whole population of tumblr pac enthusiasts!! :) i generally advise asking this about someone near your age, not figures who have an imbalance with you.

(it's a great time to be a ufc and frank ocean fan guys...)

pile 1.

this person has done a lot of growth in their life. for most, you'll know what i'm talking about--they may have gone through deep troubles in their life that left their soul mottled with burns and pains. yet they still keep a cheery face, bold and bright in this vast galaxy. a lot of them give off fire sign energy; particularly noticeable in a crowd. the kind of person who you'd know would smile at you if they saw you in a hallway. they suck at hiding their feelings.

okay, so right off the bat, they think you're way ahead of them in life. you may be older by a bit, or you simply exude a more commanding presence. they may be rebellious and do stupid things, and you're always the one who's like 'no, that's a bad idea'. you guys are like those pairings in old animated films, where the guy is kinda stupid and the girl is always like no bro what the hell are you doing. you may be particularly good academically is what i'm hearing, and a lot of you also kind of look diplomatic and smart. you may wear glasses and present yourself in a rather formal manner.

you, for them, possess a very strong radiance. they see you as well-versed in your feminine energy, and they like this. i can't really read what they feel about you, whether it's platonic or romantic; if you're friends with this person, that bond is appreciated greatly. they value you and trust you and know that you're a person they can lean on. i think this bond could last a life-time if you treat it right. a lot of you may live in apartments and MAY be roommates with the person you asked about. if you're looking for advice on what to do, i would say just go with the flow. humans live for a long time for a reason. take that as you may.

pile 2.

whoever this person is, i just want you to know that they see you. i'm not even sure in what way, but they do ☠️☠️. which can be good or bad. so be wary of that. okay, now they DEFINITELY see you, they're onto you...they're not quite sure what they're onto, but they see it. several eyes in these cards. anyways, this person is kind of on the darker side--alternative, dark-featured, or has simply been through it in life. they see themselves as a lone wolf...some of them may have brainrot humor, guys...they see themselves as self-righteous. they're probably the kind of person to try to be mysterious and end up falling over. endearing, though.

i'm not sure how well you conduct yourself in front of this person, but you're a mystery to them. always changing...you kind of make them, change, too. you don't realize it but you're a very hot and cold person, and some of you may have pushed this person away in the past (advertently or inadvertently). they know that you've struggled in the past, too, which can forge a sense of kinship OR a sense of distrust. they have some regrets towards you. you guys are very similar in certain ways, in the best ways, i'm hearing. they feel like they can be free around you, but also, are generally very distrusting so don't be surprised if they put up a cold front around you.

a lot of you scare the FUCK out of this person God help me. you're so positive and you're kind of...a catalyst for change in this person's life, and this scares them. they'll still be in their old habits, but they'll be thinking about you and how you change and grow and keep your chin up despite the odds. you're the STAR, literally, with this card. they want to be empathetic to you, listen to your woes, just be in your life. but they're scared. they're not a very...people person? they're scared that this is all temporary, in their life, and that you'll fade away. the magician fell out; i think that this will all come down soon, but you gotta stop focusing on this person. i am here to tell you that while they are worried about this situation, they are NOT going as nuts over it as you are. they care. promise. pinkie promise, in fact. but you overthink it. for most, this is romantic; crushes aren't supposed to be all-consuming. space out, a little; focus on something else for a while. it'll all come on God's timing.

pile 3.

this person is very sensual. they're very observant and on the quieter side, for a lot of you. i'm guessing that a lot of you aren't very close to them, particularly because they seem to be extremely selective with what they let into their life. they're suspicious of almost everything and everyone, and kind of come off unhinged and like the hermit. they seem very hurt, though. they're the kind of person who's eyes just look...aged beyond their years, carrying heavy, heavy weights. they seem like they need a hug, whoever they are.

they see you as a very strong person. you're the kind of person who acts like those silly characters in tv shows do, in front of a person they idolize. the type of person who'd flex in front of their crush or try to show off. LMAOOO you're so sweet. whatever you're trying to appear as to your person is working. they think you're the star...pile 2 may resonate for you too, as a lot of the same cards are popping up. however, this person thinks that you might hate them. TUN TUN TUN...you have terrible rbf, baby, and you're also not the most friendly person. you kind of come off as cold and distant towards most people, in a way that's different than this person you're asking about. they're quiet, but not your kind of quiet.

they think that this situation is very fragile. whatever they feel for you is a very friable impression they have. yeah, they think you're a cool person, but they don't know nothing about you. you're idealized in their head and this person is extremely self-aware and recognizes that. they may have gone through worse things than you (this doesn't undermine your own struggles, my love!!) and be more apprehensive. even if they're trying to open up, it may not work, and you may have to let go. they are on their own journey, and if you really REALLY want this person in your life, you'll have to watch them take their baby steps, bit by bit. examine what you want out of your life; if they lag behind, you may have to leave them there.

pile 4.

this person is probably rather tall and have lighter features, i think, compared to you. this person is very...spontaneous and sudden, restless even. they may deal with anxiety, social anxiety particularly, but they're the kind of person who still has a widespread social circle, but has panic attacks in locker rooms and closets. they're warm but also distant. why are them and pile 3's person so sad? you guys, check up on this person. they also have a strong sense of justice, most likely because they've seen their fair share of injustice. they have a very strong bond with their family, and they put their blood over their friends.

right of the bat, i can sense they have positive feelings about you. they think that you have a strong sense of justice just like them. you're a fighter, too. they may have tragedized you in their head, a little bit. they've got a very poetic heart, what can i say. but at the same time, they view you as a delicate creature. friable. they don't want to say the wrong thing around you. you seem like you shatter very easily, because you're very sensitive and observant to your surroundings. it's not in a bad way, but when you're near them, they can intuitively sense that you're noticing every. single. thing. that's going on around you. you might have anxiety, too.

okay, so lucky for you, i think that they don't have any bad feelings for you. they view you as a very...happy-go-lucky person, let's say. very bright minded, like a golden retriever!! at the same time, they want to know you better, so they can evaluate these feelings by themselves. they're not particularly sure if they've idealized you in their head, or if you're really what they're seeing. but the ball is in their court, and they can decide this for themselves. if you guys are friends, this will be good. if not, you should become friends.

pile 5.

this is a masculine energy for most of you asking. for a lot, they push themselves to the brink of failure--may be a gym rat, an academic junkie, or simply someone who has no where else to pour their energy into but this specific hobby. they're rather smart in many walks of life, but not emotionally. they don't let themselves feel emotions. they have problems with masculine figures in their life, many who have pronounced them weak for showing a teensy bit of feelings. right of the bat, you should be careful with this person--honey, you're a pure soul, and i don't want you getting hurt by someone who's destroying anything they touch because they're scared themselves.

they think you're very beautiful, but for those of the masculine energies that are extremely religious, they may view you as bait from God to mess up. they feel as if they're still on their journey and that they can't possibly get into this friendship, this relationship, when they still have SO much to learn. they think you're incredibly smart; although you are probably not as tied to their specific faith as they are, they still admire how strongly you believe in things. you have a remarkable belief in the goodness of humanity, and they love this quality of yours.

a lot of them will experience an ending of a cycle soon. this will bring them an ego death and they'll have a lot of realizations, some about general things like how they view relationships and how they view friendships. i don't think you interact with this person on the daily, and the next time you see them, i think they'll have a different opinion of you than they do now. i don't know if this is positive, but here's my two cents; if they're good to you then, keep them. it means this change has been good. if they're bad...honey, you're everything to someone. go and find that someone instead of chasing this person.

pile 6.

this person has some feminine energy, which for a lot of you who are asking about men is good; some of you may have issues with energies that are too masculine, and you and this person can forge a good bond. they have...a very naive sense of the world, despite seeing people hurt their whole life. they haven't been on the receiving end of pain very much, but they have a bit, so they know how bad it can be. they have a lot of respect towards people, and they are selfless and willing to help others with a steady hand. that's why you like them; because of their stability. however, they think themselves a coward, and they feel like they have a debt; so they try to be a better person. i'm listening to seigfried by frank ocean.

for a lot of you, this person wants to help you. they've firsthand seen how you were struggling, and they have pure intentions towards you, but this may not be on a particular personal note; they think themselves a martyr, which can be a good or bad thing. they'd give it all to help someone, anyone, you. they wouldn't be against developing a connection to you, though, but i would be wary if you're asking for romance. they...aren't exactly in the right headspace for that, and i know eventually they'll get out of it, but i don't want you waiting, either, sweetheart.

you guys can be man-eaters, which kind of makes this person go like uhh 😕😕😬😬...they have some trouble with feminine energies. their mom may have been a bit violent or emotionally manipulative, and even if that'd be to a small extent, it's enough for them to be hesitant. they're dog-loyal, but in order to do anything for a person, they have to have a deep connection to them. their love for the people in their life runs strong, but in order for this to happen. you have to bond. make sure there are no blockages, with you, either. you are on your journey, and i think you guys have potential to grow together--but still. be wary of faltering in your steps.

[k-hotchoisan]

play rough

<san x fem!reader x seonghwa>

Where your pretty little cat hybrids keep more than your hands busy, especially when Seonghwa can’t keep his paws off you during his rut.

no fur coats, but a hell lot of purring 🐾

a/n: an exchange im doing with the loml @bro-atz 🩷 hope you’ll love it as much as I did hehehe. this is also a love letter to bro, who shares the same brain as i do, who now cannot remove me from their life even they wanted to 😛🩷

genre/warnings: smut, pwp, two horny kitty hybrids, Seonghwa is in heat, orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex, mild exhibitionism because San catches you and hwa fucking, cunnilingus, kitchen sex, anal, it's filthy (atp i think you're not surprised???), breeding

word count: 3K

taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie  @pre1ttyies @hwallazia @songmingisthighs @yeosangiess @mylovelymito @softwsan @yourlocaljonghoe @itza-meee @ywtf @jeon-ify @itza-meee @miss-fallon @bunnyluvr25 @eggyboy5 @owlbeforesunrise @hourswithoutyou @iwishiwasthemoontonight @haleyjoy @yunhogrippers @watermelon2319 @vampiregirl215 @kibs-and-bits @s-h-y-a @liyahbug05-blog @luvt0kki @httpseungmxn @vic0921 @woojirang  @yeo-arriba @jjoongstar

Seonghwa draws circles on your thigh, blinking slowly at the tv programme that he’s evidently not focusing on. It’s a lazy afternoon and it’s your day off. Both felines are more than happy to have you around, burying you with themselves at either side of your body. 

Both kitties can switch back and forth between their cat transformations, and they do, out of convenience for certain situations, and especially when they want you to carry them to bed. San lies down on your lap, his feline breed of a bigger size because of his human stature, evidently taking up more space on your lap. He’s definitely fallen asleep, judging by his slow breathing patterns. Seonghwa, on the other hand, seemed distracted. He’s huddled up against your shoulder, hand still on your thighs. 

You don’t pay him much attention, wanting to concentrate on carrying San. 

Seonghwa jumps when you shift to leave, a displeased expression on his face as his fingers grab your shirt, his ears downcast. “Where are you going?” He asks with a pout. 

“Let me carry San back into the bedroom since he wants to sleep”, you say, carefully picking the fluffier cat up. San stirs slightly, but when he realises it’s you, his body relaxes a little. Seonghwa reluctantly lets go when your hand slips under his chin giving him small strokes, feeling him purr before he finally lets you go. 

“Gosh, Sannie. I know you’ve been working out but holy shit-“ you stammer in your movements, trying to balance his weight on your arms. San is half-awake, flailing slightly in an attempt to keep his balance in your arms. It’s utterly adorable but you would never hear the end of his whining if you were to drop him again. You decide to stay still and let the feline adjust comfortably before you walked over to your shared bedroom to drop him off. San nuzzles against your neck, soft purrs reaching your ears as his cat body presses against you, and you can’t help but run your fingers through his soft fur. San in his cat form was a lot easier to carry than when he transforms into a hybrid, that’s for sure, but he really is a big cat compared to Seonghwa. 

You watch as San lulls himself to sleep, his tail-swishing gradually slowing down as his body relaxes, before you press a soft kiss onto his small forehead, leaving him to wander in his daydreams. 

Once San has completely dozed off, you gingerly slide off the bed, heading to the common space in the apartment, deciding to whip yourself something light to snack on.

You pass the sofa, your peripherals catching the taller male lying on the sofa. You steal a quick glance—Seonghwa also seemed to be deep in his slumber—his tail relaxed against the fabric of the couch, his arms outstretched, hugging the pillow, his hair splayed messily. Oh gosh, he’s so fucking adorable.

You let yourself internally fawn over how soft he looks before you turned your heel to the kitchen. What you don’t notice is the way Seonghwa’s eyebrows are furrowed, the way his legs are squeezing hard against the pillow, and the way the smell of you is flooding his senses when you bypass him. His breathing grows slightly heavier. 

You softly hum to yourself, even though you are at a considerable distance from the couch, you still wanted to be cautious about waking Seonghwa up. Recently it seems like he’s slightly on edge. For the most part, Seonghwa’s energy jumps between a spectrum—calm or just bursting at the seams with endless amounts of energy, almost comparable to San. But Seonghwa has been more restless as of late, his attention span everywhere, his sensitivity seemingly climbing up in levels. 

You pull open the fridge door, your eyes scanning the contents for any signs of leftovers you could have a quick munch on. Your hands reach out to a bunched-up pile of aluminum foil—the leftover kimbap you made the day before. You shut the door quickly once you have the snack in your hands, spending no time unwrapping the foil. 

Your attention is now on the content on your phone, reading off social media while you comfortably munch on the rice rolls, your body facing the counter, too engrossed to get a chair to sit. 

Midway through your snack time, your body jolts when you feel a pair of very warm hands wrap around your waist, his body weight pressing against yours. 

“You’re up, Hwa. Are you hungry?” You ask, stroking his arms, not realising that he’s letting them slip dangerously close to your chest. 

Seonghwa shakes his head, then presses his cheeks against your temple, nuzzling you. 

His arms tighten around you, his hands slipping under your shirt more boldly, his slender fingers cupping your tits, giving them a squeeze that elicited a soft groan from you.

The kimbap is left forgotten on the counter.

You sigh, the feeling of Seonghwa’s teeth nibbling against the soft skin on your neck while he kneads your tits seeping into your senses. 

You swallow hard, trying to keep your sanity rooted, even though Seonghwa’s hands are slipping downwards south, his fingers tugging and fidgeting with the elastic of your shorts. 

“What’s up, kitty?”, you manage to ask in between deep breaths. His thumbs hook onto the waistband, teasingly tugging your shorts lower. 

Then you feel something thick pressing against the curve of your spine when he leans in impossibly close. 

Heat is flushing into your cheeks but you remain composed, turning your head to face Seonghwa. 

“Can’t seem to sleep with the smell of you just suffocating me like that”, he mutters, tone low that you shiver, and he has one hand palming over his thick erection underneath his shorts. “And especially your cunt.”

You don’t answer him right away, your mind sifting through the possibilities behind Seonghwa’s recent behaviour. His tail curls around your thighs, riding the fabric of your shorts, the fluffy tip caressing your skin. 

“Your heat came early”, you realise when the pieces finally click together. However, a little too late by then, considering that Seonghwa has you trapped under him, his erection pressing painfully against your lower back while his hands are leaving no areas of your skin untouched. It’s creating a haze in your mind, and before you could even formulate a response to offer the older hybrid to buy meds, his fingers are close to your scalp, and he tugs your hair with enough force that you’re forced to face upwards, staring right into Seonghwa’s glazed out eyes. He stares down at you, eyes dripping with overflowing lust before he collides his lips against yours, stealing every bit of oxygen left, his tongue exploring every part of your mouth, all of your moans going right to his cock. 

When he pulls back, he leans you over the kitchen counter, pressing his weight against yours, his lips right at the shell of your ear.

“Fucking hell. I can smell how much your pussy just wants to be fucked.”

“Wait! Hwa-“

“You’re such a bad owner”, he continues, in between groans that only make you squeeze your thighs when he grinds himself against you. “You’re doing it on purpose, right? Walking around with no fucking panties on. Just begging me to fuck you.” 

“It’s not that, Seonghwa-“, you squirm a little, your mind dangerously going blank when you feel Seonghwa pushing the opening of your shorts to reveal your soaking cunt, just taunting. 

“We might wake San up!”

His pants are the next to slide off, his cockhead just rubbing against the folds of your pussy. 

“Then let him. You know he likes watching your pretty little hole get stretched open no matter who’s fucking you right?”

He lines his wet cockhead to your hole. 

Then he pushes himself in, and the groan he releases when he does sounds like honey in your ears as he stretches you open to accommodate his thick cock. Your hand flies to his arms which are wrapped around your waist. 

“H-Hwa! Oh fuck-“ you gasp, feeling his cock slowly fill your pussy, girth thickening towards the base. 

“I’ve been such a good kitty right?” Seonghwa mutters into your ear, listening to the way you’re falling apart on his cock. “I held back so well. You should reward me, Angel. Then again, this pretty pussy of yours is enough. I’ll take good care of it for you.”

He pulls back and starts thrusting his hips against yours, the sounds growing wetter and louder. Seonghwa moans right in your ear, and his grip around you tightens further when he feels you clench around him. 

Cream and precum start to gather and further soak your cunt, some trickling down your inner thighs. 

“So fucking good. You’re so fucking tight for me, Angel”, Seonghwa purrs, his eyes rolling back in pleasure every time your cunt just sucks his cock in, wet and thick with cream. 

Seonghwa straightens his back, making it easier for him to just fuck you from the back all the same. 

The knot in your stomach tightens, and your breath hitches every time Seonghwa’s cock hits your sensitive spots. 

He presses his body weight against yours once more, his ruts growing more intense, and he has his hands around your neck. 

“You’re gonna cum for me, Angel? Fuck. Gonna make sure breed you so fucking good.”

And that was enough to set the both of you off—stars splattering across your eyelids, your legs shaking uncontrollably while Seonghwa forces his cock still in you, thick white filling your pussy up, leaking past your hole. 

You attempt to muffle your moans with your hands. Still, it’s rendered useless anyway, most because you watch San walk out of the bedroom in his hybrid form, ears pointed downwards, rubbing sleep from his eyes, expression unreadable when his eyes land on his friend with his cock stuffed in his owner’s pussy, and especially his owner looking up at him, her eyes in tears while cum drips down her thighs. 

His eyebrows are furrowed and he pouts. 

You stare at the hybrid before you, his ears perked up, his eyes glazed out and so needy.

San starts kissing up your neck from behind, his tail flicking back and forth, tickling your skin as he does. 

When you and Seonghwa had been caught by San, San pouted, upset that no one woke him up to let him join the fun. 

And now you were dragged into the bedroom, with Seonghwa sitting before you and San behind you. Seonghwa has his cat ears pointed forwards, his cock still thick and hard, messy with cream, and his fingers trail up your neck to your chin before he closes the distance between the both of you. 

The thing about San is that he knows how to play around with Seonghwa when it comes to fucking you, and during Seonghwa’s rut, it’s no different. 

When Seonghwa pulls away from you, lips wet with spit, precum seeping from his cockhead, mind greedy and desperate, San cups your tits, letting Seonghwa watch him pinch your nipples, letting your cunt spit more slick, staining your inner thighs even more while you squeal in pleasure. 

Seonghwa joins San, pressing and sucking his kisses against your skin, relishing in the way you groan every time he forms a pretty mark on your neck to your chest, then from your sternum to your pelvis, and he continues to lower himself right until his lips are on your pussy. He looks up at you through his lashes, watching the way your glazed-out expression when San makes you suck on his fingers. Seonghwa’s lips press against your creamy folds, letting his tongue slide into them, licking and fucking your pretty little hole, his cock leaking so much thick precum when he listens to your cries growing louder. San’s wet finger that he made you suck circles your asshole. He pushes one finger in, reminding you to relax or he can’t fit his cock in and Seonghwa continues to flick his tongue against your clit, tasting everything your pussy has to give. The hybrid behind you stretches your ass with another wet finger, and it’s making you tear up, but you feel his other hand slide across your thighs to soothe you. 

Your mind is hazy, and it’s not about to get any better when you feel your orgasm build as Seonghwa’s fucking your cunt with his tongue. 

San lines his cockhead to your asshole when he thinks you’re stretched open enough, and pushes in, kissing up your chin, reminding you to relax for him when he hears you sob. 

“You shouldn’t be mad at our sweetheart, hyung”, San defends you, watching the way your thighs are shaking from the impending orgasm. “She’s always been taking such good care of us, letting us fuck her whenever we want.” 

Another lick and your hands push Seonghwa against your cunt, cumming so fucking good on his tongue with a broken cry, your hole clenching San’s cock, his voice cursing in your ears. 

“Hwa! Fuck!”, you cry out, hands tangled in his hair, tugging him closer to your cunt while he fucks you with his tongue through your orgasm, his purrs getting muffled, vibrating against your clit, making you shake even more. 

When Seonghwa pulls back, his cock is dripping with cum, his breathing as heavy as his cock.

You squeal slightly when San slowly pulls out of your ass before making you straddle Seonghwa’s lap. 

San leans into your ear to give you a suggestion. 

“You should be a good girl and ride him. You know he loves it when you do.”

Seonghwa looks like he’s on the verge of crying, his fists are clenched, his mind anticipating when he watches you hungrily lift your hips, grazing your pussy with his messy and thick cock before you push yourself on him, your legs shaking from how Seonghwa split your pussy from below. 

He hisses, a slew of curses leaving his lips while his cock twitches in you. His pretty ears are twitching too. 

“So good,” Seonghwa mutters in between tears. “Fuck. Still so fucking tight even when I fucked you just now-“

San lets his hands rest on your hip, guiding you to fuck yourself on Seonghwa’s cock. Seonghwa’s tail swishes rather violently, his head rolled back and pressed into the pillows, his whines and grunts filling up the room. Watching him squirm and unravel could get you and San addicted—especially with the stark contrast of when he takes the lead at first, only to completely fall apart in your hands when he’s under you. 

“Kitty is so fucking cute when you’re ruining him like this, especially when he’s in heat”, San hums. You nod, kissing San on his temple before your face contorts into pleasure when you sink onto Seonghwa’s cock again. 

“You’re such a good boy, Hwa. Such a good and pretty boy for me”, you sigh, leaning forward, letting your hands wander across his body, your fingertips teasingly grazing against his perky and swollen nipples. You press your thumb against his lips, and Seonghwa sucks on your fingers, looking at you with watery eyes. You wet your other thumb with your lips, and roll his nipples, listening to Seonghwa cry out helplessly underneath you while you still bounce off his lengthy cock. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck”, Seonghwa whimpers, his ears twitching uncontrollably. “Ngh- gonna cum. Fuck! Cumming-Oh fuck it’s so much”, he groans, eyes screwed shut, fingers leaving marks on your thighs, holding you still, letting his endless warm and thick spurts fill you up over and over again while you sing him praises.  

“Don’t forget about me, kitty”, San reminds you, his hands pulling you back as you lift yourself off Seonghwa’s cock with an eye-rolling shiver, so much fucking cum drizzling out from your hole, which San slips his cock in, and plugs your pussy hole shut, ignoring the way you’re crying that you’re too full.

It’s fine. San is gonna fuck the cum out of you anyway. 

San’s thick cock stuffs you full, and you hear him groan in your ear when he bottoms out in you. His hands caress your thighs before he lifts you and sits you on his cock again, listening to your cries. 

“Hyung, you really stretched her out so well”, San teases, his tail excitedly hitting the mattress whenever he feels you squeeze him. 

Seonghwa fucks his hand, watching the way you’re being fucked by San from below. Seonghwa doesn’t like sharing, but for some reason, he thinks San’s enjoyment of watching you be fucked stupid by him starts making sense in his head seeing you so ruined perfectly like that. 

Fluids pool at the base of San’s cock at every thrust, and it’s a pornographic sight of his cock thrusting in and out of your abused hole. 

In your ears, you’re just hearing San groaning, “fuck kitty. feels so fuckin amazing like this. Oh my fuck.”

Your brain is mush, coherent sentences aren’t even forming—only feeling San’s dick hitting spots in your pussy that’s making you see stars. 

Seonghwa shifts above you, his hand on your scalp, forcing you to look up at him and his pretty cock, watching him fucking his hand against your face. By instinct, you stick your tongue out as much as you can, even though you’re being fucked stupid by San. 

“That’s a good girl”, Seonghwa hums. “I’ll make you so fucking pretty.” 

With a strained groan, he bucks his hips against his palm, another load decorating your face. 

“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so much, kitty. I know hyung likes messing you up with his cum. Still, I’m the one with his cock in you y’know”, San complains as he pushes his cock even deeper, pulling you out of any remaining coherent thoughts, your legs pushing open when your third orgasm hits from the overstimulation. You break, spraying all over Seonghwa when you lift your hips off San, forcefully pushing his cock out, his cum diluted by the clear liquid. 

No doubt, you’re completely spent. Your eyelids are heavy from exhaustion, but San and Seonghwa take turns pressing kisses onto your lips, whispering sweet nothings alongside purring against your neck. 

You’re in an absolute sticky mess, in tears, so fucked out thanks to your two pretty kitties.

And you’d let them do it all over again. 

[elliezlils11utt]

fluffy domestic farm life with farmer!abby <33

‧₊˚ ☆

a/n: coming from a texan this is genuinely my dream life. also this is like semi headcannons? the format is a tad funny bc i didnt have enough plot for a full fic but its mot just headcannons either?? idk man😪

summary; abbys grown up on a farm, its all shes ever known. and she CANNOT see her life not in the fields. and you, while still being from the south wanted nothing more than to escape it all. so when you told her you wanted to move to the city with her, she made it her mission to prove to you farm life could be happy. <3

‧₊˚ ☆ when you first moved into the farm house with abby, it was perfect. (you only thought this because there was no work to be done yet) but soon planting season started, then the animals started to accumulate, and all the sudden your back on a farm. exactly where you wanted to escape from. but this time its different. your with you’re person. you’re abby. and as much as you wanted to hate it, you couldn’t. not to admit abby was right but, she was right.. every morning you wake up, braid Abby’s hair, eat breakfast with her, and you go separate ways for chores. you tend to the animals as abby works on the farm in the fields. its peaceful.

‧₊˚ ☆“can you put one of y’r pretty bows in my hair t’day baby?” abby whispers to you in the early morning light as you lay cuddled in her arms. you hum in agreement, a smile laid on your face. Abby’s long golden locks have been one of your favorite things for the longest. and ever since the first day you french braided it down the back, shes had you do it everyday since. its become morning routine for her to sit between your legs on a pillow, with her cup of black coffee in hand, watching the morning news as you plait up her hair. now one of the ribbons that holds your hair up everyday, ties at the end of abby’s. a dainty blue bow holding her braid together.

“watcha think?”

“s’ pretty babe, thank ya s’much.” her tall frame scoops you up from in front of the hallway mirror and plops you back on the coach, tickling the crap outa you.

“abigail!!” you squeal

‧₊˚ ☆ oh and you definitely screamed when a farm cat showed up & abby had to scold you for trying to take it into the house.

“but abby! look at him.” you force a pout, pointing at the orange feline who genuinely had a dead mouse in its mouth. abby looks at you, then back at the cat, then back to you.

“baby. look, i love you. but no way in hell is that coming in the house.”

she then proceeded to drive out 40 minutes to the nearest pets smart & bought the little guy food to set out weekly ‘just incase’.

‧₊˚ ☆ i also like to think she brought one of jerry’s old projectors from her childhood home & sets it up on the side of the barn every once and a while. like when theres a new movie you wont stop nagging her about, at the end if the day as you go to get her for supper you see the bed of the work truck all set up with cozy bedding. abby appears from behind the truck. “Abigail Anderson. what is all’ this?” you cheese.

“oh nothinggg, i js’ rented that movie you wanted t’ watch” she says jokingly. she pulls you in by the waist and places a kiss on the top of your head.

“did you get anyy of your chores done today?” you say, pretending to be mad she hasn’t been tending to the farm.

“uh, thats a problem for tomorrow me.” she giggles.

‧₊˚ ☆ and you best bet that if you both finish your chores early there will be nap time. sometimes intentional, sometimes not. but either way its one of your favorite moments with her. one day you had fallen asleep on the porch swing after brushing the horses. abby had came to the house for a glass of water to find you softly snoring in the summer breeze. a smile tugs at her lips watching your stomach rise and fall with your breath. she lightly picks you up and carries u inside the house, abandons whatever chore she was doing before and lays with you. now its your turn to wake up to her baby snores (loud ass snores) & blond hair tickling your nose. your cutie baby.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

💎Pick a Picture: ‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚How do you let your beauty shine?‧₊˚💎✩ ₊˚

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💎Pile 1:

Hi pile 1, the cards are talking to you about something really beautiful, something you probably don't always recognize clearly, but that is within you all the time. I feel like you don't just have external beauty, but a radiant, natural, authentic beauty that comes directly from within. The most special thing is that your beauty is expansive. Just like nature at its best, like a garden blooming with all its flowers, its light grows and touches everything around it. Your beauty is not something superficial, it is deep, because it is born from a place of compassion and understanding towards yourself and others.

Do you know what your cards and general aura tell me? That your light shines brighter when you give yourself permission to be yourself, when you stop looking for external validation and focus on what makes you feel good inside. Your beauty shines when you nourish yourself. When you take time to take care of yourself, to pamper yourself, to feed yourself with what makes you feel good, whether physical or emotional. When you surround yourself with what makes you feel at peace and happy, showing the brightest version of yourself. When you let go of external expectations and simply allow yourself to be, then your true radiance appears.

Your energy is that which will inspire others to love themselves more, to accept themselves as they are. When you are authentic, you open yourself up to a beauty that cannot be measured, because it is the beauty that comes from the heart, when that energy is projected outward, making everything beautiful around you.

💎Pile 2:

If you chose this pile, I want you to know that your beauty doesn't need to be forced. Your beauty isn't something you have to work to show, it's simply the reflection of your inner light.

What stands out most about this reading is your ability to show yourself without fear.

The beauty of your aura comes from the ease with which you present yourself to the world. You do not need external validation or approval, because your confidence and warm energy are so great that you are not afraid to show yourself as you are. Your energy is a warm refuge that offers comfort without asking for anything in return. I feel like you embody the beauty of The Sun (is one of the cards that popped out really quick as I was shuffling). You don't hide, you don't limit yourself. You give yourself to life, you give yourself to people, to experiences. You live with overflowing joy and an optimistic attitude that lights up everyone who crosses your path. That ability to enjoy the moment, to laugh with your whole being, is what really makes you shine. It's not just how you look, but how you make others feel, and that's what makes you someone absolutely beautiful.

Your beauty is not only in the clothes you wear, or in your makeup (if you wear it). It is in the way you share your energy with the world, how you make everyone feel better about being around you. That is your power, that is your radiance, in your true light, you are the SUN.

💎Pile 3:

Hi pile 3! The first thing that comes to me with this reading is that you are really alluring, but your beauty is not just external. Your beauty is calm (you may be more in the introverted side), but powerful, because you know who you are and you are not afraid to show your truth, even when that means being vulnerable. People see you, and what they see is not just what it is on the surface, but that quiet strength you radiate when you don't give up. Your beauty is in the way you face difficult times, in the way you get up again and again without losing yourself. There is a greatness of soul in you that is what really makes you shine, and it is something that is felt in the air when you are around others; you are a beautiful soul pile 3 :").

I feel like you have learned that vulnerability is not weakness, but a source of strength that allows you to be open, authentic, and sincere with others. And that vulnerability, far from making you weaker, makes you someone strong, capable of connecting with others in a genuine way. You have the power to show your scars and still remain beautiful, because you have learned to love them, to see them as signs of your power.

When you let your beauty shine, you do so from a place of deep acceptance of yourself, even in your most fragile moments. You know that you don't have to be perfect to be incredibly beautiful. In fact, perfection doesn't exist, but what does exist is that magnetic energy that you radiate when you accept yourself as you are. By accepting yourself, you open a space for your beauty to shine. Your beauty also comes from that quality you have to remain calm in times of chaos. It's as if your energy has a special ability to reassure others, to make those who are close to you feel safe, protected and understood.

💐Thanks for reading! Tell me if it resonated and i hope you have a great day!💐

[yaseraphine]

pick a card 2 - what do people like about you ? 

PILE 1.

The Star , 3 of Cups , 4 of Wands, King of Pentacles, Justice, The Emperor, 4 of cups, 3 of swords

The girls’ girl pile :  “90% of life is confidence. The thing about confidence is that nobody knows if it’s real or not.”

If you're not a girl or don't identify with having strong feminine energies, this pile might not resonate. 

You really know how to have fun and bring fun anywhere you go. You are always down to party. You might have hosted or organized parties and people think you’re the best host ever! You probably did one or two memorable parties that were so good even though it was a while ago people still remember until this day and probably still talk about it months, even years after. 

If you haven’t hosted parties, then you’re the life of the party anywhere you go! People truly get addicted to your infectious energy : you’re not afraid to share your cup with others. Just like in the 3 of cups’ illustration, you raise a toast with everyone you meet, celebrating the small wins in life, not afraid that your cup might spill a bit from the shock of the metals together.

People like how you dance and move your body. You’re probably a really good dancer. You’re not scared to embarrass yourself by being the only one on the dancefloor at a dull party. You simply don’t care of other people’s judgements : you came to a party/club , you’re here to FUCKING DANCE. You’re probably the type to not understand why people don’t dance in clubs like girl you paid to be here ?! Why are you shyly swinging like that ??!! get your ass up and dance! 

People love your confidence and how contagious it is. You remind me of Maddy Perez from Euphoria. Even if you don’t identify with being a woman, you have this undeniable star quality and fierceness that makes people both envious and inspired. (I just realized I wrote “love” here instead of “like” as the title of the pick a card indicates/suggets. There is just something about that is so out of the ordinary that people simply cannot have mild reactions about you. You incite extreme emotions inside people the moment you walk in a room. The energy, the way you smile. Everything.

People like the fact that you’re probably a girl’s girl. Even though you have a really intimidating exterior and girlboss energy, you also have this softer side that makes people feel so safe. I think you probably went through hell and back to attain the confidence that you have today. Part of your purpose here is probably to help people feel better in their skins. You’re a baddie healer basically. I am seeing girls’ bathrooms in clubs or other public areas like that. You probably helped many girls/ or heartbroken people who were hiding in the bathroom during a party. The type of girl in middle school/ high school that instead of making fun of a girl for having a period stain, would tell her and help her change/ or get rid of the stain without telling anyone. The type of girl in a group that sees that one person that is left out and that asks about their opinion regarding the conversation they're having so that they feel included. The type of girl that would give beauty tips to girls who struggled with their “femininity” growing up or were in a strict or religious household that didn’t let them put makeup on or act girly.

The scene with Lexi and Maddy, where Maddy teaches Lexi about confidence while putting lip liner on her, sums up this “girls’ girl” side of you. Lexi says she feels stupid with the makeup on. To that, Maddy answers that everyone feels stupid and  that it's a choice that she made to stop feeling that way. Lexi replies that she doesn't know if she is able to stop feeling stupid so maddy tells her that “ 90% of life is confidence. The thing about confidence is that nobody knows if it’s real or not.” 

(do you work in the beauty industry by any chance ? like are you a nail tech, a hairdresser, a makeup artist or an esthetician ? there is something prominent about that field of work here.) 

Placements you might have : moon in leo, sun in leo, moon in aries, sun in aries, sun in sagittarius, cancer placements, Venus in cancer, Venus in Leo, Pluto in the 1st house, Chiron in an angular house (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th house), Chiron in Leo, North node in Leo, North node in Aquarius, Mars in Leo, Aries or Sagittarius, Mars in Libra, Saturn in Leo, Sun in leo conjunct Saturn, Saturn in the 5th house, 8th house placements, Lilith in Leo, Lilith in Aquarius

You might have a master number as a Lifepath ( life path 11, 22 or 33. For you I am mostly picking up life path 11 or 33, The illuminator/Psychic and the Spiritual teacher.)

=> link of the scene with Maddy and Lexi about confidence

SONG : Feel it - Ayesha Erotica (the song is so spot on i swear ayesha's songs are the epitome of leo energy slayy)

PILE 2.

Page of Pentacles, 6 of cups, 4 of cups, Judgement, The Hierophant, The Moon, The Hanged Man, 9 of swords

A diamond in the rough

First and foremost, this pile has a really different energy from pile 1. They’re probably even opposite lol. If you want to read pile 1 before reading this one, don't hesitate as it might help you understand the description better (which is not so clear at times).You are literally the person that is helped/ or feels healed by the archetype of person described in pile 1.  It’s like both of your piles are complementary.

You might lack a bit of self-confidence, and might have a hard time affirming yourself yet I weirdly feel this is what people like about you ?? It’s like maybe they see you holding yourself back when you could accomplish so much but they are not concerned for you because they know you will accomplish great things in life eventually.

You can be a bit  shy or reserved, and people like that about you. They think it's cute.

People like your social awkwardness. Despite having a hard time socializing, you still try your best to keep up with the conversations and what is going on around you and people find it really cute. It’s like people like the fact that they can protect you, or defend you. You might appear like you’re often lost or in your head.

People like the fact that they can see your potential before you can even see it yourself.

It's kind of weird to be honest but it’s like they like the fact that they can imagine endless possibilities for your future.

They like the fact that you don’t see your potential in a way ?? It’s hard to explain because it doesn’t come from ill intentions at all

They like how talented you are. I am picking up on how raw your talent is. They like your raw beauty, your raw talents : your raw everything. There is something so real about you. I don’t think you do it consciously but you have no filters : you live your life in all honesty and authentically.

This might not be for everyone but I am picking up that some of you are like this because you’re neuroatypical/ neurodivergent. It’s just the way your brain works naturally.

They like how “naive” you are, not in a derogatory sense as in “you don’t understand life” but they find it refreshing that you just live and experience things without suppressing your true inner feelings

They like how you live your emotions fully, whether they’re good or bad. This might make people uncomfortable at times, because your rawness subconsciously triggers their shadow and what they suppress in their lives.

People basically like how you act as a mirror without intending to. They like that you work as a catalyst for change, but you’re not even aware of it.

People see that you have a superpower, something that you do naturally that they could never achieve and they like it. Just like pile one you trigger AND inspire them at the same time but in a different way.

They like how unique you are. You truly are a diamond in the rough.

This pile was a little shorter than the other piles, but I think the message is just pretty straightforward.

Placements you might have : sun in aquarius, sun in pisces, neptune dominant, Uranus and Neptune in the first house, Pisces stellium, Aquarius stellium, Gemini rising, Virgo rising, Libra rising, Venus in Capricorn, Saturn in the 6th house, Pluto in the 4th house, 5th house and 4th house placements, Saturn in the 2nd house, Jupiter in the 4th house, 5th house

SONGS : Perfect night - LE SSERAFIM / Chilhood dreams - ARY / Class of 2013 - Mitski

PILE 3.

Ace of cups, Strength, Temperance, Page of Cups, The Sun, 8 of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles (i started your pile and didn’t realize the Queen of Cups was hidden under the Page of cups! You probably evolved a lot and serve as an example to many people around. Going from a Page to a Queen is not easy at all)

Top of the deck was The High Priestess.

The Spiritual Warrior

First and foremost, you got 3 major arcanas, and 2 out of the 3 fell first.. damn… Don’t tell the other piles but this might be the most powerful pile of the reading lmaoo

You might be older, like in your forties, thirties. Even if you’re not, you just had to grow up really fast and take on a lot of responsibilities early. You probably experienced a divorce or some sort of loss that made you jaded towards life for a while. But then, you were reborn. 

People like your authoritative energy. You command respect, you incite some sort of fear inside people. However, a group of younger people might see you as an example. They might see you and think to themselves : “I want to be like them when I grow up. And I'll do anything that I can”. Driven youngsters see you as a role model. They aspire to attain the quiet confidence you have today. 

Children probably like you, they feel safe around you. You have healing energy, but it isn’t exactly soft, like one of a fairy for instance. You’re more of a monk or a nun. You don’t necessarily try to spread positivity. You aim to find inner peace, and this inner power will be alchemized as an aura that heals. Your mere presence is healing. You don’t have to say a word. Your gaze and aura do all the job for you, and that’s because you are extremely aligned with the universe.

Oblivion by Grimes is currently playing as I am doing your pile. The song is really disturbing, kind of haunting in a way and is about a traumatic experience Grimes went through. She explained the meaning behind this song in an interview saying : “The song is about being violently assaulted and it made me crazy for a few years. I got really paranoid walking around at night and started feeling really unsafe. The song is more about empowering myself physically amongst a masculine power, and the hate of feeling powerless, making light of masculine physical power, making it jovial and non-threatening. I took a typically violent cultural situation and made it pop and happy.”

You might relate to this in a way or might have lived a similar experience before.

“See you in a dark night” is a prominent lyric here. Are you part of the Pluto in Scorpio generation perchance ?  There is this thing where you might have been a really giving person in the past. You were like a fairy, probably the "panic pixie girl" archetype (you don't have to be a girl by the way). However, many losses in your life made you lose that innocent spark. Now, despite not being as cheerful and positive as you were before, you hold a deep, almost lethal strength inside of you.

There is a lot of Yellow, Blue and White in your spread. Your chakras are definitely aligned and it’s powerful. You probably have a really similar aura to angels. Your aura might be white. There is a glow, a light that follows you everywhere you go. 

=> Energetically speaking, white is thought to be a very high vibrational color, relating to pure light. As spiritual author Shannon Kaiser tells mbg, "White is the rarest of all aura colors and indicates purity, integrity and a high level of spirituality."

People almost have no words to describe what they like about you. They’re simply left speechless.

I want to say “they like”, but stronger words such as “love” keep on coming up. People cannot just LIKE you, they get addicted and fascinated by your energy.

They like your energy, your otherworldly energy. 

People like your wisdom and your mysterious demeanor. 

People like the fact that you are a mystery, but your energy doesn’t want them to know more about you. They like the mystery just as it is. 

People like how fascinating you are. 

People like how resourceful you seem

People like how you seem like an immovable object. Nothing seems to be able to make you flinch, or react. 

People like how your gaze reveal so much but nothing at the same time.

People like how you embody the sentence/ quote “Everything, Everywhere, all at once”. (I don’t really know what this is supposed to mean exactly but this might be relevant to you / maybe the movie ?)

People like the way you look too - if you know about face type essences and kibbe body type you’re probably have Angelic (ethereal) face type essence and a Dramatic body type. You look like you could play in series like Game of Thrones or just that you came straight out of a sci-fi movie or fantasy novel

What people like about you is directly linked to the effect you have on them : your existence leaves them speechless

I am getting the word “ineffable” would describe how people see you and what they like about you. The meaning of that word is “something that is too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words.”

Placements you might have : to be honest, your energy is so complex that it’s hard to pick up on specific placements. I am only getting aura colors.

Maybe Pluto harshly aspecting the first house, a lot of asteroids in the first house, chiron might be prominent in your chart, 8th house placements, 12th house placements, 10th and 11th house placements, Lilith in the 11th or 12th house

Signs that this pile might be you : chakra candles, spirituality, divination; angel gabriel, goddesses, angels, you might really spiritually connected, 1010, 1111, 777, 444, angel numbers

SONG : Oblivion - Grimes

[thedivinetarot]

Talk to me in songs and poems

10 facts and more about your fs | pt.1

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

- Close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Ask the question I your head, open your eyes and the picture that you can't look away from is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading, use your own discernment when judging the accuracy.

- This is a short mini reading. I may do an extended one or pt. 2 later.

- This is a future spouse reading which means that it is not applicable for crushes or someone you are briefly dating and if you want to do it on your long term partner feel free but I don't guarantee that it will be 100% accurate.

- Can be applied on a future lover too.

Pile 1 - The corpse bride

1. This person is very active. He could move a lot, work out a lot, or he could be an athlete. I see a constant movement from this person. Also he could walk fast, faster than normal.

2. This person get overwhelmed so quickly and the funny part is they cannot focus on more than one task and get distracted easily. He gives me an ADHD vibe. So, they may have ADHD.

3. This person is indecisive, it take them forever to make a decision which can be good or bad because they overthink everything. And because they see the good and bad in every option.

4. Your person is unbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving affection/ emotions/ gifts/ and other stuff. They either give too much or doesn't give at all.

5. They are tall and scary. They might have anger issues or get angry very easily. I see that this person is a catalyst of change or they might have changed a lot physically or mentally throughout their life.

6. This person is very emotional honestly, I see someone who is kind, sweet and caring towards others but they doesn't know how to show it in a balanced way.

7. This person have a big family or he came from a very strong/ rich or wealthy family. I see also that their family are very respected from people in the country they live in.

8. They are very successful but they kinda show it off and brag about their success in arrogant way. They could be arrogant too.

9. This person is pessimistic. They doesn't know how to be optimistic at all. It is like they have a different point of view than the people around them and because they overthink it, they doesn't feel good about it. There's a lot of emphasis on "what ifs" in their mind.

10. This person is family oriented. They are the perfect husband/wife material. They dream of having a family on their own and they are so excited about it.

Bonus: they lives far away from you and they travel to work or to their home. Could be in travel (from state to state) or out travel (from country to country).

Pile 2 - Blue moon

1. Lives near you. Or in the same state. Could be your neighbor too. I see that he tried to travel for work but it didn't last at all and he got homesick and returned.

2. Very diplomatic and 'demure'. He doesn't like conflicts and always try to avoid them.

3. Is very emotional. Idk why I keep picturing a blonde, white, and an overweight man in my mind eye. This person is cute or look cute and cuddly too.

4. They are very nurturing, if they are identified as masculine; he doesn't feel ashamed of taking care of others. And if they are identified as feminine; then they are very in their feminine energy.

5. This person is intuitive too, I'm picking up on the mbti INFP, ISFP, INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP, ISFJ too.

6. This person is very spiritual, I'm sensing major pisces placements. This person could be a wizard or a witch. They could read tarot and practice divination too. If not then they may be interested in those things (even if they are not a practioners of it).

7. This person have a very interesting point of view. I see that they see things from a different angle which cause others to misunderstand them and their intentions.

8. Despite this person's sweet personality or look. They have a dark side that they keep to themselves. I see that they might have been a drug addict, alcohol addict or other some type of addiction that I couldn't put my finger on. Could even be sex? Or masturbation? Maybe.

9. This person is very vital, they could blush quickly or their face get red easily. I see also that their voice can be rough and loud in an annoying way.

10. This person is active too like pile one. They may walk fast, talk fast or work out to keep fit even if they are obese or overweight.

Bonus: They were dating someone but they broke up with them. This incident was close in time like 2 to 4 months ago. I'm not seeing something deep at all. Could be a fling or a hookup.

Pile 3 - Blue butterfly

1. This person is an extrovert. I see someone who party a lot but from time to time this gives them anxiety so they isolate themselves from time to time.

2. This person is a huge believer in twin flame, they might be manifesting their twin into their life.

3. This person is spiritual too. I see that they are into psychology, inner child healing.

4. This person could mirror you a lot. Could be good or bad, so if you want them in your life you need to be better yourself in order for this to last.

5. Your future spouse is you twin flame, this came again while I'm channeling the facts about them.

6. They are very childish and innocent. And if not they can impulsive and carefree of the consequences of their own actions.

7. They are really a hard worker. Could be a workaholic too. I see that they are working on their finances so when they meet you they can wife you up.

8. This person is a busy bee. They are constantly working and juggling things. Could be a great multi-tasker too.

9. Their family traditions are very important to them. And they get very defensive when someone point out anything wrong with their family traditions.

10. This person is defensive. And also argumentative. They only want to prove that their opinion is the only right one.

Bonus: They are on their healing journey towards you. I see that also they can be a slow/smooth talker or walker. I see also that they do not hesitate to walk away when things are not working the way they want. They abandon their projects easily too. They could breathe loudly, or make a loud voice when they inhale.

Pile 4 - White swan

1. This person is an atheist. Or if not they might not have a religion or not into spirituality or doesn't believe in that "crab".

2. They are that one hot sexy fucker that fuck around with no commitment. And if not then they used to be like that before meeting you.

3. This person is very blunt, harsh with words and even abusive, be careful of their rage. They have a nasty energy. I smell something not pleasant at all. They could be clueless about hygiene.

4. This person is broke. Financial and in other areas in their life. They could also use their attractiveness to their advantages to use women's money. Again be careful, you don't have to keep up with that.

5. This person got disappointed and if not so they disappointed a lot of people in their life. Especially their family. I feel like when you get to know them, they will complain a lot about how unsupported they are.

6. I see that they always daydream about being successful, independent, and the boss but they do nothing about it honestly. Like there is no serious steps to be like that.

7. They have daddy issues, even if they are a male. Their father; might have left them which caused them to be heartbroken.

8. This person is a player. I see that they use people around them to their advantage.

9. I see also that at some point they learned from their past mistakes. They want to be a better person. I see that they might travel to another country to work on themselves.

10. This person when you meet them they will be in a better place. The previous facts might be from their past and they feel so ashamed of what they have done.

Bonus: He could be in a poly relationship or like poly relationships, or they date two or three people at the same time. Major womanizer vibe. Even if they change; they still are attracted to the opposite sex like crazy.

29th of sep/2024- Sun

* Feedback is appreciated

[oraclemoontarot]

a letter from your future spouse 𓂃⊹ pac tarot reading

from left to right, top to bottom -> pile 1, pile 2, pile 3, pile 4

paid readings

•┈┈┈••✦ ♡ ✦••┈┈┈•

pile 1 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

cards pulled: ace of cups, seven of cups, ace of pentacles, sun + queen of cups

Hi, my darling,

There are many things I'd want to say to you, to write to you. My heart fills even by the thought of you alone, and a warmth like that of bathing under the sun rushes to me when I look to the day we'd meet. There is something enamouring about you, your energy, your kindness, your sensitivity. You could never judge, hurt, belittle, or shun others, and that is what I truly, and genuinely, love about you.

You coming into my life was the greatest gift I could have ever received and sometimes I wonder if I am worthy of such an amazing person to have the privilege in being able to call mine. You have brought so much love and light into my life, that at first was overwhelming, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced, you give me so much joy and I want to be able to give you the world in return, and I laugh to myself at that thought as even the world would not be enough to express my gratitude.

When I think about the future, about us crossing paths, I can't help but think about the present too. About the many paths that intertwine before me - dreams, hopes, and fantasies - yet the feeling that consumes me, is that no matter what I pick, I know it will eventually lead to you. And each one of those paths would promise us a stable, comfortable, and abundant life.

But, my darling, if there is one thing I could tell you right now, it is not to worry. Please, take care of yourself, just like the love you have and will give me, let yourself feel it too. You are someone rare in this world, someone anyone would wish to come across at least once in their lives, and I hope by the time we meet, you will be the happiest you can be.

With love,

Your future spouse

pile 2 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

cards pulled: four of swords, knight of pentacles, moon, queen of pentacles + king of cups

My dear sweetheart,

Whenever the world grows quiet around me, when things get difficult and I retreat back into my shell, I think of you. I think about the calmness you provide for me, the support and the reassurance. I also think about the stability you provide and the walls that surround me, our home.

I know I move slow, my approach is one of caution, and sometimes that may lead to frustration and even impatience, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will forever be dedicated to you, our marriage, and our family. Just as you have brought me warmth and safety, I wish to be your pillar, to be by your side and give you that security, to remove all the burdens that rest on your shoulders.

There may be moments when we may misunderstand one another, I may retreat sometimes into my shell, but I know that together, we will be able to achieve a lot; to strengthen our relationship.

You are someone so beautiful, your heart is strong yet just as loving. I am intrigued by the way in which you see the world, and how you face any problem with a smile. My respect and love for you cannot be put into words alone, but you are someone I want to change for, you are someone I want to be better for.

For you, I will mature and grow, I will pour my heart into our marriage, and I will fight for us if there ever comes a time. My heart yearns for you, and yet somehow, I feel the words just can't come out. You are someone I truly respect and adore and I will fight my stubbornness to make all those uncertainties disappear, just as you have given me the world, your heart, and your support. I will return those and more and I cannot wait for the day we meet, my dearest.

With love,

Your future spouse

pile 3 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

cards pulled: world, nine of wands, page of pentacles, magician + king of pentacles

My dearest,

You are my world. My everything. As cheesy as this may be, like a puzzle piece, you complete me. It is like I have finally found true happiness, and I can't help but to smile at the thought of you coming into my life, at my world filling up perfectly with your space. My heart yearns for you in a way that is excited and pleasant.

Within our marriage, any difficulty or challenge that presents itself on our path would be easily faced. Together, we can accomplish anything, we can get over any hurdle, and we come out stronger and having learnt a whole lot. Such challenges I could never face on my own, I am suddenly able to face with you.

You have taught me so much, you are someone who embodies knowledge, you are my inspiration and my ever-growing motivation. Our future holds so many possibilities and I can't wait to experience them with you together. The both of us will grow into the best versions of ourselves within this marriage. We will create our home, our life, our business, but we will also manifest our dreams into reality, together. What most would have deemed impossible, is possible with you.

For you, my dearest, I will be stable, humble, and a strong partner in our marriage. I would not want you to face any burden alone, I would not want you to suffer, to hurt, to experience anything that may trouble your heart or your mind. Together, we will flourish, we will create a stable home and an abundant career and lifestyle.

I look forward to the day we meet,

Your future spouse

pile 4 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

cards pulled: five of cups, three of cups, six of pentacles, ten of cups + judgement

My sweetheart,

I have faced a lot of hurt in my life, at least up until I met you, I have lost and failed, but you helped me to see the good that surrounds me. To appreciate the hurt, the heartbreaks, and the loss, for teaching me and making me into the person that I am now. With you, you allow me the opportunity to experience fun, to make meaningful connections, and to open my heart.

I am so, so incredibly grateful to you, for your generosity, and for the time you put into our relationship. You have such a kind and giving heart, it inspires me. It warms me and teaches me how to love again.

Within our marriage, we are equal, we both provide for one another and make our house our home, together. There is so much love and light when you are around, so much energy and emotion.

With you, you make me feel... content. Like this is what life is really about. This is what a true, healthy and loving relationship is meant to be, and you have given me that. To me, you are my destiny, it is as though we are soulmates and that we were meant to find one another.

I have learnt so much from you, you have taught me many things about life and my self. You are my true happiness. You are what keeps me going and I long for the day we meet.

With all my heart, I love you,

Your future spouse

[feistyvirghoe]

•*¨*•.¸¸☆*･ﾟ𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? ﾟ･*☆¸¸.•*¨*•

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 1 - i see your future partner will see you as someone who has been through a hell of a lot, whatever u have overcome just makes them look at you as like this strong individual, someone who has suffered a lot probably at the hands of others too. they see you as an extremely fair individual, you don’t back down from a fight or challenge, whatever comes your way you still persevere and continue to move forward, it’s like u have been through so much strife but you’re still positive about life, the circumstances, like you try not to let that get to you, you’re an honest person, they see u as someone who’s fire is still there after all the weird conflicts you’ve gone through, you don’t let it break you down, still standing strong, but even though u may be very assertive and someone who seeks the truth, like a whistleblower, but u look so happy and vibrant on the outside like u kind of deceive people with that soft, warm, joyful exterior but if anyone tries you, they get like instant karma or just karma in general, like you’re not the one to fucking mess with, there is this passion within you that needs to be shown off, like letting yourself be seen.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 2 - your future person sees you as a bit naive but not in a bad way, there’s this innocence to you guys, you’re very okay like the lovebirds but then there’s sadness and a lot of fucking grief, maybe it’s coming from losing friends, family, lovers, pets, could be anything sentimental and close to your heart but they see u as so gifted and just as someone who doesn’t really break the rules, they see you as someone who may need some compassion in their life, like more support, i mean you’re extremely supported by the divine but u probably don’t feel that way in the 3D, like here physically IRL, do u not have many people that you can count on? like you have to do it all alone which you don’t and i’m sure your person will see this as well. there is so much good out there waiting for you, they’d want to see you and help u move on from whatever has happened that affected you so heavily, almost like u feel like you have no one on your side, but they’re there babe, it’s okay and completely harmless to obey and let yourself change for the better, for your highest good! they don’t want you holding onto this pain, i was very jokey about it earlier so maybe u guys can be the ones to brush it off but no, sitting with what happened and reflecting and not looking backwards at a past that you can’t change may help some. you’re worth so much more than whoever or whatever fucked u over, you deserve to be happy and feel happy and full of positive LOVING ENERGY! i feel like tapping back into spirit and becoming closer with the divine will help..easing the discomfort emotionally, you’re always loved and protected!

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 3- okay my p3s, it took me a minute to feel out your energy, idk i was just getting really frustrated and now im sweaty and i just took a shower, so im feeling like your future lover may see you as a “hothead” no, you just have a temper, it seems like you like things your way, like you’re not the one to let shit slide, you stand up for yourself, something about you is just very fast moving, like go go go go (cue the cringey ass carnival song 💀) okay so yeah you have a temper and can be quick to jump the gun and just fucking move people out of your way. i see they see you as someone who can’t stand when other people are just slow moving, like you need to be stimulated and engaged with whatever you’re doing, like you will keep doing something over and over until you reach your desired outcome. i like yall, u guys don’t play around, and that’s what it is, your fucking feisty ass, my pile that seems to embrace change whether you like it or not, it’s like it is what it is…i hope your person is strong as fuck and not just physically i mean mentally, you’re in your own fucking world, it’s like they may even have to ground you and bring u back down to earth to help u stabilize yourself, let yourself take a break from the fucking overachieving i don’t wanna say it like that but if you keep working yourself hard to the point of no return you’re gonna crash and i feel like u don’t mind bringing others in the mix, it’s like if i go down we all going down lmfao…just breathe, relax, take a minute to go outside and embrace your surroundings even if it’s shitty, there is always something around us that is so small but it puts a smile on your beautiful face. you don’t always have to keep your guards up and yes people may wanna try to come after you but just know you don’t have to do much to fend these weirdos off, they could never really reach ya level. your future lover sees all of this, you stand up for yourself and u show out too, like don’t fucking mess w me is y’all’s vibe, HAHAHAHA FUCK AROUND AND U GON DEF FIND OUT 💀

(this pile took such a turn lmao, it felt so chaotic ahhh, i hope u guys find some time to seriously just CHILL..no worrying about nothing just woosah baby, idk like whatever calms you down do it! rfn haha 😆ugh i wanted to write more but i promised myself to make the piles shorter, but pls lmk if u guys like longer more detailed ones or straight to the point, i mean either way it’s up to me but i wanna hear from you guys 🩵😚)

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 4- you guys are my leaders, even if you don’t see it this is all about ur future lover and how they see you, you seem to have a very strong head on your shoulders, you guys are so fucking courageous and extremely fast moving again similar to pile 3 but not quite, they’re like the energizer bunnies (i’m sorry to pile 3 that’s not a jab lmao) but you guys are more strategic, the other pile is more so spontaneous, okay if u feel called to it just go for it and head to that pile but you guys my lil babies hahaha, u may not like that, the lil cutesy names, but i mean underneath it all is just a sweet ball of sunshine, you guys like control and your future lover will automatically see it, it’s like you guys may not like to see things out of place, no matter what it is, like you need a schedule, you can’t just free ball it, you guys are like methodical and you’re not giving up without a fight, you’ve come so far and for some random ass weirdo to just come on in and try and undermine you is a very wrong chess move, you’re ten steps ahead bitch, i feel like you know more than you let on, like yes you may be cool calm and collected but oh do your words have people either checking themself or they’re in a corner crying from what you said, maybe u can be a little blunt with the way you interact with others, but i don’t think it’s coming from such a bad place, that’s just in your nature, you know how to tame your inner demons, the beast within, u can look at your own mess and take accountability, very honest straightforward, cut throat ass person, and your person is digging that shit, they like your dominance and how assertive you are, like the fucking boss, mommy/daddy/authoritative energy!

THANK U FOR FUCKING BEING HERE U AMAZING ASS QUEEN/KING/GOD/GODDESS !!!!

i appreciate you for stopping by and letting me read for you, i have been gone for some time but im back bitch and im here to fucking stay! idk if anyone else has been feeling this weird ass energy of people like not wanting you to succeed or see you doing well, i’ve been feeling that and a mix of my own pent up shit i need to deal with but i hope you liked this reading and if you don’t that’s literally fine babe, just don’t be an asshole about it, if it doesn’t resonate what??? LET IT GOOOOOO ! i have to say that!

these are extremely general readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

[littlcdarlin]

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒏𝒆

summary: There is nothing more important to Joel than keeping you safe, and if you need a reminder, he'll oblige. warnings: dub!con, Joel keeps reader locked away “for her own safety” (reader consents), Joel fucks the desire to leave out of her, mention of reader having asked Joel to stop during past sexual encounters, daddy kink, confinement kink???, praise kink, breeding kink (mentioned once), girthy age gap (unspecified), knowledge imbalance, overstimulation, sort of free-use but not really

note: Part one of a six part series in celebration of Lana’s upcoming album The Right Person Will Stay! Each part takes inspiration from lyrics from one of the songs that have been confirmed to be on the album — hence the title. Enjoy reading <3

Although nobody says it out loud, it is an unspoken truth that survival equals a varying abandonment of morals. You don’t walk into the apocalypse and come out the other side without blood on your boots, without a skeleton or two (or plenty) to hide. Joel certainly didn’t – didn’t even want to. Not after the wounds that were ripped open, and aren’t ever going to close again, because some things cannot be overcome. They can be pacified, stitched up, bandaged, but that’s it. The throbbing can be dulled, but it won’t stop.

The closest thing he’s come to a remedy is you: you, with your syrup smile and scarless skin, with a knack for pretty things in a world spilling over with ugliness and terror. The throbbing doesn’t stop, but you make him believe it might. Tommy can bang his fists on the table all he wants, can shatter the wood and pick the splinters from his palm, it won’t change Joel’s mind about you. 

Sure, in a different world his brother might be right – that he’s a dirty old man tainting your innocence, sucking it out of you because he lacks it himself, reveling in your youth for all the wrong reasons. Not now, though, when there’s worse things outside the wall than the loss of innocence, not when nobody else is looking out for you. What is a twisting of societal morals if it keeps you from picking up a gun? From firing it? From being fired at? Is his name on your lips at night not a small price to pay for that untainted smile you still smile, for your eyes that haven’t seen all that he’s seen? The truth is if he didn’t care for you the way he does, your life would turn out the same as his, would result in bloodshed and cruelty. He can’t have that – if you can be spared from it, you should be.

So Joel doesn’t listen to Tommy, or his own conscience, or the tears you sometimes shed when you’re overwhelmed by solitude and restlessness. He knows waiting around for him all day without leaving the house can’t be easy on you, but he’s willing to make that sacrifice to avoid the gruesome alternative. Yes, Jackson is relatively safe, but there is not a single person inside these walls Joel trusts. Except for Tommy, but even he is a man. He has to see what Joel sees when he looks at you, so really, there is no way Joel is going to take the risk.

Your backtalk and petulance are rare, anyway, usually you’re quite content with your life. He keeps you happy, makes sure you have a full belly and pretty things to entertain yourself with. When you do act up, he sets you straight, not so much with violence as with an abundance of pleasure, as if to say this is how good I make you feel, don’t make me turn it painful. Sometimes he has to, though, and when your cries of too much, I can’t do it again turn into incoherent whimpers, he tries hard not to examine the particular slosh of pleasure in his gut.

No, you’re certainly not innocent anymore, Tommy is right about that – but you’re free of the sort of sins the end of the world would ask of you under any different circumstances, so Joel accepts it. He’s reminded it’s not a price he’s willing to pay whenever he’s on patrol – one foot in the apocalypse and one in the cotton-soft oasis he returns to every night. Perhaps it would be good for you to get out more, and he might let you, if he didn’t know how bad it can get, how much worse than how you are now. He’s played this game for more decades than you’ve been alive, is playing it still, which is the very reason why he needs to keep you as far away from it as possible. When the whole world has turned inside out, the only thing to do is to turn outside-in, and that’s what he does to you, for you, even if Tommy calls it confinement.

And anyway, you’re able to leave if you really want to. He doesn’t lock the door, because he doesn’t need to. He probably would, if it came down to that, but his rules, his unrelenting hands on your body, are more effective than any lock and key anyway. You’ve never yet tried to leave, although you express that desire from time to time – the only times Joel doesn’t chase away the shame in your voice. Sometimes he’ll talk to you, then, tell you about the lengths to which he’d go to to keep you out of harm’s way, and if that doesn’t work, he’ll fuck you deep and long, to remind you that even if your soul might be able to bear the thought of being anywhere else, your body isn’t. When you’re fucked out and sleepy, you’ll murmur an apology he doesn’t need into his chest, and he’ll stroke your hair and wonder which holds more truth, your initial proposition, or its consequential apology.

He ponders this as he makes his way home through the crystal-cold snow, heavy leather boots leaving prints the size of kayaks – that’s what you call them when you see your shoes beside his. Not that you wear yours much, not inside. His are dotted in a dark substance, something washed away by rain and time, but he still remembers how the spots got there. The raider deserved what Joel gave him, although even Tommy had a hard time justifying his brother’s violence. He wonders if you guessed what the spots on the soft leather mean and hopes you never will.

You mentioned leaving again this morning, just a fleeting, off-beat comment about what the rest of your life held in store for you, and Joel wanted to dissect your words then and there, but he had to leave for patrol, or his brother would have had his head. He remembers your little Bambi eyes, staring up at him almost apologetically. He never gets mad at you when you say these things, because you need his understanding for him to be able to drive the desire out of you.

He opens the heavy front door, is greeted by the smell of whatever dinner you made him – he doesn’t eat in the dining hall down the street, but with you. In the beginning, it was what bothered you the most, it’s so much work, Joel, why can’t we just eat with everyone else, but he patiently explained the dangers to you. The lingering gazes of men who knew what hunger meant, and felt some remnants of their starvation whenever they looked at you. You understood that, even if it annoyed you. He got you a cookbook, urged you to look at it as a creative project rather than another way of laying down your freedoms at Joel’s feet for him.

"Hello," you say softly, spoon still in hand, that pretty forget-me-not-blue apron wrapped around your body. He got it for you from a kind woman who sews all kinds of wonders out of old scraps of fabric. It suits you, brings out the flush in your cheeks.

"Hi, angel," Joel answers, pulling you towards him and tilting up your chin with one finger. It’s your little ritual, his lips, and attention, and hands on you the second he steps over that doorstep. You taste of the spices you must have added do dinner, the coffee he allows you to drink – one cup a day.

"How was patrol?" you ask him, putting his jacket on its hook when he slips out of it. So attentive, like you didn’t mention leaving this very place the last time you spoke to him. It seems like you slipped right back into the role he assigned you months ago, but he knows you can always do with a reminder of how much you want this life, how much you want him. So instead of answering, he takes the spoon from you, puts it on the little dresser right next to him – a smear of sauce on the dark cherry-wood. When he turns around, there’s a pout on your pretty face, and he’s half torn between chuckling and frowning.

"I’ll clean it up later. You ’n I have a bone to pick, young lady."

You know what he means, know he can only mean one thing, and you look down at your feet covered in the pretty socks the old lady who made your apron knit for you last winter.

"I’m sorry about this morning," you say softly, voice laced with genuine regret. He almost lets it slide, then, your widened eyes staring up at him. But he can’t. The reminder is for your own safety.

"You say that every time, darlin’."

"I mean it every time," you answer, gaze still lingering on your spoon, but far off somewhere Joel can’t get to. It drives him mad – it’s the one place he can’t keep you from going, your own head. Not that he doesn’t try.

"You know the rules," he says softly, as if they’re God-given, as if he didn’t make them himself. Part of him trusts you’d obey him even if God told you to do the opposite, though, that’s how deep your devotion runs, and he can’t risk any part of this fact changing. 

Your head tilts forward in acceptance, and a warm feeling spreads through him. You have doubts, urges to leave this safe haven, but you voice them and ultimately decide to ignore them — you stay every time. It means more than if you didn’t have them in the first place. Any remnants of fear at the thought of you leaving are washed away by your submission, relief light and airy, spreading through his body.

"Five minutes," Joel says and pinches your chin gently to make you look at him. You do, and he smiles at you. The pout disappears from your face – already his reminder is working. You nod, and he lets your lack of a verbal answer slide. You go back to the kitchen to put away your apron, and Joel takes off his heavy boots, puts them next to the shoes you haven’t touched in months. Their dryness and cleanliness cause satisfaction and a deep contentment to settle on his old bones.

When he walks into the living room with a heavy gait, you’re lying on the couch the way he trained you to – hands folded over your stomach, stark naked. You always were a fast learner, and he’s proud of how adept you are at obeying him. There was a time this would have made you blush and hide your face, back when you were still fighting this dynamic, still caught up in the outside world. Joel smoothes one hand up your leg when he reaches you, ankle to thigh, feels your plump and young skin under his. As much as he does this to protect your mind from the horrors he’s seen, whenever you’re naked in front of him, he sees your body littered with scars behind his eyelids and knows he’s doing the right thing, protecting you like this.

"Remind me why we’re doin’ this," he asks you, not unkindly, as he takes of his own flannel shirt. You told him months ago you like for him to be naked, too, and although the contrast of having you bare while he just pulls down his jeans and y-fronts is delicious, he knows you respond better to positive reinforcement.

"Because I’m safest with you," you breathe, eyes trained on his hands as he drags down the zipper of his fly, "and there’s nothing out there worth the risk."

He nods, satisfied with your answer. His jeans are crumpled on the floor now, he’ll fold them later when you’re sleeping. He watches you for a second, taking in your smaller form, so defenseless and vulnerable in front of him, and feels all of a sudden a violent gratitude that he was the one to take you in before someone else could, someone who wouldn’t have your best interest at heart.

He settles over you, body heavy, but he knows you like it – the reminder of how strong he is, how solid and real. He strokes your stomach, your waist, your thighs, takes his time looking at you and for a fleeting moment he tells himself to remember this, in case you ever do leave.

"That’s right," he says, "if you’d seen what I’ve seen, you wouldn’t doubt me."

You swallow – you know this, he’s told you of the violence, though never in detail. He doesn’t even like you watching gory movies. There’s enough of that out there, why bring it into a home meant to protect you from that very same violence?

"Yes," you say quietly, "I’m really sorry, Daddy."

That name. He never asked you to call him that, and he knows you’ve never seen porn, had no opportunity during your sheltered, short life before him. It means you mean it, probably have no idea how laden it is, charged with clips of women in primitive school-girl outfits and nurse uniforms, feigned innocence that becomes perverse in its falseness. There is something pure about the word when you say it, regardless of the context – whether he has you crying on his cock, or after a soft good-bye kiss in the morning, you say it with such love and devotion, it makes Joel think of himself as good. Nobody else would if they were to hear you, but nobody else knows what it signifies – complete and utter safety and care under his guiding hands, your faith in someone wiser leading you through life. It speaks of your trust and devotion more than anything.

"I know you are, sweetheart," he answers, and softly traces your clit, feels the way you twitch under his breath of a touch. He smiles – you’re wet already, your body incapable of denying him even if you wanted it to, which you don’t, never have.

"I love you too much to allow the risk," he says, although he knows you understand, just to force the words into your head until the thought of leaving scares you as much as it does him. "You know I’d give you everythin’ you want in a heartbeat. It’s the only thing I ask of you."

"Yes," you say again, breath hitching when he presses circles into your clit, "you’re right, Daddy."

"Why do you doubt me, babygirl?" He hears the pain in his own voice, but doesn’t try to keep it out of it. "You’re livin’ the best life you possibly could on this earth, and you still wanna leave."

"No," you whine, "don’t wanna leave, Daddy."

He holds down your hips with one hand, your control over your own body already slipping with the pleasure he’s dragging out of you.

"No?"

"No…ah, I just…I get curious, D-daddy, when I remember my old life."

He can understand that. It’s the one thing he regrets the most, that there was a time in your life when he wasn’t around to keep you safe, when you could have gotten hurt in ways he finds physically painful to imagine.

"Oh, baby," he drawls, feels you tremble under his hand, "if you’re curious, you ask. I’ll tell you all you need to know, hm?"

"Yes," you agree, and Joel speeds up his movements just slightly, until your voice grows high-pitched, and you shake under him.

"See how good I make you feel? You wanna risk this?"

No, you want to say, but the word dies on your lips when he pinches your clit between his big fingers, and you come with a shout. There was a time he made you ask for permission, back when he thought the withdrawal of pleasure was the way to make you learn, but now that he’s figured out you respond best to too much, he doesn’t bother with that anymore. You don’t ask, and neither does he – just keeps rubbing no matter how you twitch and thrash. You don’t ask him to stop anymore, either, know it’s no good. As long as you’re able to come again, and he wants you to, you will.

"There you go," Joel mumbles, and slips two wide fingers into your tight body, curling them upwards. Your eyes are glassy, breathing quick, muscles limp and pliant. "Don’t this feel the best? I give ya all you need, babygirl, and still you wanna leave. You’re breakin’ my heart here."

"Daddy," you whimper, no sorry, no yes, no no, just that name. It’s all you need to say, anyway, conveys everything. He pumps his fingers in and out of you, presses against that special spot inside of you he forbade you long ago to touch yourself, before he forbade you to touch yourself at all. You pouted, argued, and he patiently explained his fingers were able to reach it much better than your own smaller ones, and he wanted you to always feel the best you possibly could. The next night you woke him up with a flaming red face, mumbled something about needing to touch that spot, and he felt so proud of you for telling him instead of disobeying his rules, he made you come four times just on his fingers, then fucked you back to sleep, an overwhelmed tear or two slipping from your pretty eyes.

This time, it doesn’t take you long to come again, and Joel basks in your lack of resistance, your body used to the pleasure after all these months. It used to take much longer, sometimes you even asked him to stop, tired and exhausted, and although he proved you wrong every time, showed you if he wanted you to you could come one more time, it thrills him to know you’ve grown accustomed to this unrelenting pleasure.

"You think you’d be happier out there?"

Your eyes are unfocused, when Joel pumps one hand over his hard cock. He keeps talking to you, knows you respond to his words more than anything.

"Think there’s somethin’ better than this outside these walls?"

"No, Daddy," you answer, and there isn’t a trace of dishonesty in your voice.

"No," he agrees, and lines himself up with your entrance. You twitch and clench around nothing.

"This is where we’re meant to be, angel," Joel drawls and puts one hand on your stomach, "right here is where you belong."

He pushes into you, almost curses with how hot and tight you are. Your eyes roll upwards, then flutter closed.

"Know you must think I’m a hypocrite for leavin’ every day myself," Joel chuckles, forcing his cock all the way inside, until he’s met with resistance and the greying hair at the base of his cock presses into your clit.

"No, Daddy," you whimper, "you’re not a h-hypocrite."

He strokes your hair, thinks you’re sweet for disagreeing when every coherent word clearly costs you a lot of concentration.

"The difference is I’m ruined anyway," he explains to you, his thrusts deep and slow, "but you haven’t been touched by this world. I gotta protect that."

Your agreement is muffled, but it’s enough for Joel.

"There’s nothing in the world I care more about than keepin’ you safe."

You twitch and tremble, thrust your own hips upwards until Joel presses them into the mattress.

"You understand that?"

"Yes," you breathe, and grasp at his shoulder. 

"Repeat it for me, babydoll."

He knows he’s being mean, can tell you’re almost delirious with pleasure and close to your next orgasm, but he needs to hear you say it before he gives in.

"I…you’ve got to keep me safe," you say, face scrunched up in pleasure and concentration, "nothing more important than for me to be around you."

He fucks up into you, and feels your words spread through him like some sort of emotional pre-orgasm release. It’s all he needs, really, for you to say these words and believe them, mean them. He knows you need his cock for that to truly happen, though, knows it’s the only thing able to drive the doubt from your mind completely.

“Good,” Joel answers, “just needed Daddy to remind you, huh?”

You don’t answer, your breathing is short and shallow now, and Joel slows down his thrusts.

"Breathe for me, angel."

You do, draw in a raspy, choked gasp of a breath, and he smiles down at you, punches his cock into your tight hole one, two, three times, and sees your third orgasm in your eyes before it happens. You flutter around him, clench, then let go and positively gush.

"Good girl," he mutters, fucks you through it, before burying himself all the way inside of you as his cock pulses and releases. It won’t take, not after his vasectomy, but God, does he wish it did. He fucks his come up into you anyway, and you take it, happy and fucked out, and entirely free of any doubts about him.

When you curl up against him a while later, your body clean and limp now, he kisses your hair, lets you doze off, and traces the little marks and moles on your skin. He knows sometime’s he’s too hard on you, perhaps too strict, but when you’re this pliant and content, he finds it hard to regret his actions. Not when they’re this effective. He thinks he hears a soft Daddy on your lips, and smiles. If you’re dreaming of him, surely you can’t be thinking of leaving. And he knows, in that moment, if you ever tried to, he’d move heaven and earth to stop it from happening. in fact, he’ll use that key in the morning, just as a precaution— you don’t have to know.

part 2 of this series

[thesturniolos]

guilty pleasures (part 1 )

m. sturniolo x reader

authors note: this picture is actually sickening, need him too bad 🤞

this is all creds to my bae @iheartchrissturniolo thanks for the idea hun < 3 (part 2 including your idea yet to come)

summary: matt has a bit of a crush on his best friend, he’s fantasising ;)

warnings: smut, swearing !!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

she looked heavenly by the pool today, irresistible to the point where my heart ached. i knew i couldn’t have her, i’ve only been reminding myself everyday for the past 6 years and it’s agonising.

the way the droplets of water fell off her golden skin, the bikini that accentuated her curves, oh so perfectly. and knowing i chose it for her was like the cherry on top of the cake. blue- my favourite colour - and hell she knew it when she bought it, she even told me. “i wonder why you picked this one” i remember her slight giggle after she said it, voice like silk, one that plays in my head at night.

she drags her hand through her hair, shaking it a little to get rid of the water, and boy do i wish it was me doing that. for me to be the one to look after her, to do the small things that weren’t so small to me. her eyes are closed and even though she’s been in the water, her makeup remained flawless - not that she needed it, she was absolutely gorgeous with and without.

she didn’t think this however, always telling me how she wishes she looked like anybody else. if she could only see what i see, just for a second, she’d never think that again. she’s better than any supermodel, the ‘prettiest of girls’ according to society weren’t a touch on her. plus, they didn’t come with her personality- she’s a real life angel and i’ve been blessed with even being in her presence.

i would spend every minute and every hour of my day telling her every little thing i love about her from the colour of her nails to the shape of her lips, i don’t care about the dents in her thighs or the stretch marks on her stomach, she’s perfect.

she’s walking closer to me with an arm outstretched, my eyes landing on the matching tattoo she has with me and i smile. i sometimes forget we had that done, which almost instantly brings me back to reality that she is and always will just be my best friend. i cannot afford to lose someone as special as her which is why i have to push those feelings to the side, as much as we want to be free.

her being so close to me and looking at me with those eyes, dark eyes that could mean so many things, made my cheeks blush the slightest red and i become desperate to hide this. what kind of friend blushes like a crazed guy in love when they look at them? it’s just a look, god.

“you got a towel?” there was that voice again, a voice i wish was in my ear forever. it wasn’t high - pitched nor was it deep, it was just in the middle, soothing. reminds me of the times where she held me whilst i cried, the bestest friend there is. reminds me of when she was so utterly drunk and slurring over her words, what was it again?

 ╭┈┈┈┈╮

“matt” she prods at my arm, waking me up.

“wassup” she frowns looking at my tired state, moving her hand to push hair out of my eyes.

“i’ve got a secret” i frown now, it’s 3am goddamn.

“what’s that”

“you promise you won’t tell anyone?” those little doe eyes drive me crazy, keep looking at me like that and i’ll have an accident.

“i promise” she leans in closer to my ear, her hot breath on my skin.

“i had a dream about you the other day” now i’ve piped up. i don’t care about the time or the sleep in my eyes, she fucking dreamt about me, i’m wide awake.

“oh yeah? good or bad?”

“depends”

“what’d you mean, depends?” once again, driving me crazy. she just knows how to do it.

“well, it depends how you take it.”

“go on.” i’m begging for this now, i need to know what the fuck happened, it’s killing me.

“well, we were doing something,” she twirls my hair in her hand, not looking me in the eyes yet all i can focus on is her and her words. “something best friends don’t do.”

“like what?”

“fucking.”

╰┈┈┈┈╯

held a chokehold over me. every night when i got in to bed i imagined her sleepy self, squirming about in her sheets to the idea of me pounding into her. suddenly i didn’t feel so bad about the hundreds of wet dreams i’ve had ‘bout her, we’re even.

but it only made me more delusional that we could actually be something. she was drunk and it was a dream, i was being dramatic if i thought it was actually something.

“yeah, it’s just there.” i say, pointing to the floor. she bends down to pick it up and i get the best sight of her boobs, pressed against the fabric of her bikini, pushed together ever so slightly. they looked so smooth, so pretty. something i just couldn’t take my eyes off..

“hello? matt?” she swipes her hand in front of my face and i’m so utterly embarrassed, knowing i’d been fixated on her tits. what an assy thing to do, how do i even begin to explain something like that?

“i- uh- i’m sorry! i wasn’t-“ she smiles at me and reaches out to scruff my hair, once again her boobs being directly in my face. is she doing this on purpose? because i’m about to cum in my pants.

“i take it you just really like your choice of bikini, hm?” she laughs, moving the towel to rest it on her hip as she turns around and struts off towards our house. she fucking knows what she does, not just to me but everyone.

i’ve been ignoring the poking in my pants for a while but it’s more prominent then ever now and i need to do something about it or i’m gonna come undone right here right now. it might be pervy but i quite literally cannot be around her when she’s close to naked, my mind travels to the dirtiest of places and to be honest, i’m careless.

if she’s going to act so calm about riling me up like that, then i’m gonna embrace the way she makes me feel. how she makes my cheeks hot and the wet patch that forms in my boxers when she whispers in my ear or now, shoving her boobs in my face.

praying that my jeans cover my painfully obvious hard-on, i quickly walk into the house, making a bee line for my bedroom, desperate to do something about what was happening in my pants.

“you okay, matt?” shes looking at me with a frown, the towel in her hair now as she begins to dry it, still wearing that flattering bikini that is just about to tip me over the edge.

“mhm, i- um, just need to do something.” i look around to see if my brothers are anywhere to be seen, something to distract me from this conversation, i so desperately need to get to that bedroom.

“oh? why’d you look so flustered?” she says with a smug, little smile.

“no reason. i just- i just need a second.” i go to walk away. as much as i would love to stay and talk, right now that is not what i need.

“need my help?”

tags: @strniohoeee @sturnsbaby @sturniolopepsi @malsturns @mattslolita @mattitties @mattsbratt @mattsturniolos @mattsturniolosgf @chrisdevora @christinarowie332 @chrisolivia4l @ilovemattsturn @sturniolossmut @sturnioloswife @sturniolosstar @freshlovehacker @kirby0strombolli @recklesssturniolo @lovingmattysposts @oversturn @ilovemattsturn @urfavstromboli @estelleswrld @strawberrysturniolo @dailysturniolo @deatthmatch @hoesformatt @justangelheree @klarasmith @kvtie444 @cabincorematt @caitifilms @bluesturniolo333 @mattsturnioloswattpad

[just-a-ghost00]

What they wish to tell you

Decks used : I don't care oracle, White Numen tarot, Spirit Junkie oracle

Group 1 ⭐️

"My productivity stems from inspiration. When I focus on what brings me joy, my tasks become effortless actions." The Moon, 4 of pentacles, 5 of cups, Abuse of power rx, Party in your heart, Surprise rx

They wish to tell you that they're afraid and unhappy. That they feel powerless within this connection. They feel like they've lost all chances of being with you and that scares them. I get a lot of sadness from this spread. Sadness and regret. They feel unsafe. Like all the fun has been taken away from them. They can't seem to rejoice about the things they used to like or to marvel at life. They have a hard time focusing on daily tasks, seeing the glass half full. They feel uninspired, unmotivated, lost because things aren't as they used to be. They feel like you've changed, whether that's the truth or not. They feel disconnected from you, from people in general. They have a hard time thinking positively. I feel like they struggle with mental health issues at the moment. At the back of each deck we have The High Priestess, Dopamine ? Dopa-go ! & My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me. This person feels like they are not supported by the people around them. They have lost the will to fight for what makes them happy, what they believe in. They're going through a dark night of the soul and they're in a lot of confusion right now. That's also something they try to hide from people around them, including you. They put on a façade but the truth is they wish they could tell you how empty they feel without you. This person wishes they could go back to the times where things weren't as complicated and they could enjoy themselves freely. This person feels like they cannot be themselves freely with their loved ones. For some of you, the person you're thinking of may struggle with their sense of identity. I was picking up on the LGBTQIA2S+ community. For some of you, if your person is a masculine, they may struggle with expressing their feminine side because of societal expectations or pressure from family. I was specifically picking up on Drag Queens and Kings. But more than that I just feel like your person is currently struggling to find their path in life and may be questioning themselves a lot. Which is a very tiring and uncertain time of their life. And they wish they could talk about it with you but for some reason they struggle to do so. Their heart feels very guarded. They are very insecure right now. They have a hard time showing compassion to their own self for what they are experiencing. They may be blaming themselves a lot when they have nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like if this person could change their surroundings maybe they wouldn't be going through such a difficult phase.

Group 2 🍾

"I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world." Death, The Chariot, 3 of swords, Stop doing so much, There's no planet B! , Stand up for yourself rx

The person on your mind wishes to tell you that they feel stuck career wise and they don't know where they stand anymore. This person doesn't feel happy with their professional life as of now and they are afraid to leave whatever situation they're in because they have no idea where they would go or what they would do in such case. This person feels like they don't have what it takes to start over again. They wish they could move on and find something better, get closer to you possibly but they lack the strength and courage to do so. This person feels burnt out by their responsibilities and engagements. They're also afraid of criticism from their peers. On the back of each deck we have knight of swords & Close your eyes, close the curtains and sleep & "Attacking others is an attack on myself. I choose to release this now." They wish to tell you that they do not dare to speak up their mind for fear of rejection. They're afraid of their own light and power, as well as the effects their choices would have on the people around them. They're afraid of the unknown, of "losing" what they're used to. They're afraid of change. They're losing sleep over the fact that no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they think about it, they can't seem to find a way out or a way to change the outcome. On one hand, they know that where they're at right now is detrimental to them. But on the other hand, they feel like if they left whatever situation they're in right now, they would be wasting something beautiful and they could not go back. This person is afraid of taking responsibility and they feel very bad about themselves right now. They're in a dilemma and though they sincerely wish to put an end to this cycle, they can't seem to get themselves out of it. They wish they could tell you how exhausted they are and how hurt they are but they keep it to themselves because they do not wish to burden you with their struggles. Also, for some of you, your person sees you working really hard for your dreams and they're afraid that you're overworking yourself. They wish you would take the time to rest and take care of yourself.

Group 3 🎀

"My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me." 10 of wands, 2 of wands, The Magician, I dare to declare my love, Please leave a message, Spread the love

I really like the energy of this spread. It's such a stark contrast to the other groups. They wish to tell you that, though they have a lot on their plate, you do not leave their mind and they still have a lot of hope for your connection. You are a source of motivation and inspiration to them. You are the reason why they get up in the morning and do their best every day. They wish to tell you that whatever you are going through, they still appreciate you and care for you. That should you need them, even if they're busy with their own things to deal with, they'll make time and space for you, to comfort you and guide you. They wish to tell you that you are so dear to them and that they're working really hard to be able to be closer to you. That may be true especially for those of you that are in a long distance connection. This person hopes to travel so that they can meet you. They're constantly day dreaming about you. They wish to tell you that you're all they care about and that they only have eyes for you. At the back of each deck we have Ace of pentacles, You are here & "Compassion is my compass. I am willing to hold space for the experience of others." The "You are here" card show an arrow pointing to the Earth from an outer space perspective and the Earth is right at the center of the galaxy from that angle. So they wish to tell you that you're at the center of their Universe. You occupy their thoughts at every moment of their life. I get the same vibe from the compassion card. They are willing to adapt and change things in their life so that you can better fit into their world. With this ace of pentacles, they wish to tell you that they would like to start anew with you or give your connection a new turn by making you an offer. I feel like this person would like to be in a relationship with you, regardless of what people may think and despite the challenges this may rise. It's like, no matter what, they're willing to make it work because you mean so much to them. Honestly this is so sweet.