#i cannot answer this question sadly as i think the police is bad but so is using AI to “predict crimes”. hope that helps 👍

[dramatic-dolphin]

i love doing surveys and realizing i am going to be the spiders georg of these results because i have very strong opinions the survey makers probably did not account for

[morizoras-cave]

Alley (Request)

James Mcavoy x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: hello! alternatively, could you please write a James McAvoy x teen!costar!reader where after an interview, the reader leaves backstage to an alley to receive a call. before she can enter the building, she is stopped by a an older man who are being super creepy and whatnot. James, wondering where the reader is, goes to the alley and seeing what is happening, becomes really mad and protective over the reader. thank you!

Warnings: pedophilia, sexual assault, attempted r*pe, creepy dude, creepy remarks, language, violence

(A/N): this is a very heavy and sad fic. if you have experienced something in the realm of r*pe, i highly encourage you to reach out and talk about it

“Stop laughing, you idiot!” James wheezed, the two of you clucking with laughter. Whoever had put the two of you together for the press tour had made an embarrassingly large mistake. You were pretty sure you hadn’t answered a single question. 

“I-I can’t!” you were crying now, falling back in your seat and clutching your stomach. Even the people behind the cameras couldn’t hold back their smiles and light chuckles.

“Alright, lunch break!” Your publicist called rather bitterly. She was horribly overworked, trying desperately to get you and James to get a hold of yourselves. 

You and James stilled your laughs, finally, for fuck’s sake. 

“Ready for lunch?” he asked. Just then, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You took it out and sighed, seeing your sister’s name displayed on screen. 

“In a moment,” you responded and James nodded, disappearing into the break room. Meanwhile you clicked to pick up your phone.

“Y/n!” your sister hissed.

“Yeah?” you asked, bemused. 

“You’ll never guess what- Wait, are you alone right now?” 

You looked around. There were at least 8 people still in the room. “No,” you mumbled.

“Find somewhere empty!”

“Why?”

“Because this is embarrassing, and I cannot have some randos listening in!” Your sister urged and you pinched the bridge of your nose, considering just hanging up and dealing with repercussions. Finally you gathered enough will to go ‘okay, fine’, and then you left the interview room. 

You entered a hallway, that, sadly, contained more people. You poked your head in through several doors, but none were empty. 

“Are you alone yet?” 

“No!” 

You finally gave up on the building itself and exited, pleased to see a dark and shadowy, but empty alley. You sighed in relief. 

“Alright, I’m alone.” 

“Great, alright, so-” 

Your sister told her story with much enthusiasm, and you had to admit it was both pretty funny and embarrassing for your sister. It was worth it to have entered the alley, you decided, when she was finished. 

“Alright, I’ll see you later, Y/n. Have fun!” 

“Thanks, bye!” 

You hung up. Your stomach growled and you groaned, realizing the extent of your hunger. Taking a few steps forward to leave the alley, you suddenly bumped into someone. You looked up in shock.

An old man, maybe 50 or so, was standing there, smiling at you knowingly. Just as you were about to apologize, he spoke: “You’re a pretty little one, aren’t you?” 

You were stunned. “Uh-” 

“What do you say you and I have some fun?” his voice was low and wet and raspy. He licked his lips. You gulped and shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak confidently. 

You ducked your head, trying to simply walk past him and avoid an uncomfortable situation. The man reached out and grabbed your arm, swinging you back to face him, angrily. You yelped. 

“You don’t get to just walk away, now, baby,” you were so scared, you were shaking, your eyes were rimming with tears, and your heart was pounding. Alarms were blaring in your head. You were revolted by him and his hand on your arm. 

“I said, let’s have some fun,” he spat and reached his hand up to touch your cheek. He chuckled dryly when a tear escaped your eye. You shook your head, whispering a ‘no’. 

The man pushed you up against the brick wall. A switch flipped inside you, and you did the only thing you could think of: Scream.

Meanwhile, James was starting to wonder where you were. He was sitting alone at lunch, chewing sadly on his salad. 

He decided to find you, knowing you were always the most excited about lunch (or any meal for that matter), and that it was highly unlikely you would let a phone call keep you away from your precious calories.

“Y/N?” he called, walking through the interviewing room and into the hallway. “Y/n?” 

“Oh, Y/n L/n? They went outside,” a man with a clipboard said, pointing to a heavy, grey door. James nodded a thank you, pushing through the door. 

He came out, sun shining on his face, and birds chirping sweetly, just in time to hear your ear-piercing scream. 

Admittedly, it was a very scary sound. James’ first thought was not that it was you, just a poor woman in a bad situation (and of course he would help). You and James had a mostly silly and funny friendship. There were very few moments of sincerity and seriousness between you, so the thought that it could be you, your petrified scream, was impossible. Because you were you. Y/n.

But it was you. James was frozen for a moment. You were pressed between the old man and the brick wall, thrashing and crying, but the man was much stronger than you. He brought a wrinkly, disgusting hand over your mouth and whispered breathlessly: “Shut up, you stupid whore.”

James didn’t think, like he so rarely did when upset, rather strolled up to the man and, mutely, sucker-punched the creep right in the mug. 

The old man stumbled back, grasping his face and groaning. James was seeing red. His entire body was tensed, and then he took two quick steps, and the hit him again. The old man’s body jerked and he fell to the ground. 

James lifted his fist to hit him again, when he felt a hand on his arm. Your hand. He turned to look at you, eyes softening when he saw your red, wetted eyes, and your features twisted into anguish.

No words were spoken between the two of you, you just simultaneously fell into a hug. You wanted to stay there, but you were shaking. You couldn’t feel safe when the man was on the ground right next to you, curled up like a shrimp. 

You pulled back, glancing at the man. “C-Can we go?”

James nodded. He turned back to man once more, elegantly kicked him in the dick (another scream sounded, this time the man’s response to having his balls crushed), and the grabbed your hand and marched out of there. 

You sniffled and, though entirely and irreversibly distraught, giggled at the action. James pulled open the grey door and pushed you both inside. The man with the clipboard was still there, clipboarding.

“Hey, call security, there’s a fucking rapist out there, he needs to be arrested,” James said and the clipboard man was not ready for this, eyes widening, looking at James, then you, then his clipboard and then the door. Then he nodded, like he was given a great and burdening task.

James pushed you further along, past all the questioning eyes (you were rather disheveled), and into the break room. His salad sat lonesomely on the dining table. 

When you two were alone in the break room, he turned towards you and hugged you again, You hugged him back and allowed yourself fall apart. You cried and shook.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, N/n,” he whispered. It was only then he felt the severity of the situation dawn on him. “It’ll be alright. He’ll be arrested. You’re safe. Nothing like that will ever happen to you again.”

You nodded into his chest, sobbing. “T-Thank you, James.”

“It’s nothing. It’s nothing at all. I would do that a million times if it meant keeping you safe.” 

You nodded again. 

He held you for a few minutes. You felt safe there, but something inside you still felt so wrong. 

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” you whispered when you stopped crying. James looked at you like you were crazy. 

“Y/n? Are you kidding me? That man just- He just- You have every right to cry. Every right to ‘be like this’, whatever that means. If you weren’t crying, I’d be more concerned!” He looked in your eyes as he spoke, hands gently on your shoulders. 

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah.” 

“Well, how about I bring you back to the hotel, so you can relax a bit,” James suggested gently. You nodded shyly, but then:

“Don’t I need to speak to the police?” 

“You’ll speak to them, when you’re ready to. They can come find you at the hotel, alright?” 

“Alright.”

James drove you back to the hotel and stayed with you while you dozed off. The police came during your slumber, and James asked them, quietly, if they could come back later, and that you really needed rest. They reluctantly agreed to wait outside. 

It turned out the man was a serial rapist, finding young teens out alone at night and having his way with them. He’d apparently slipped through the law’s cracks by moving from state to state. 

You could care less who he was and what he did. It was impossible to tell how you’d deal with it and how you’d move forward, you were just happy James had been there that day, and happy he stayed with you as you moved forward.

You knew that the road to being happy and healthy would be much tougher without him there. Luckily, James cared for you endlessly, and he’d search every alley in the world to make sure you were okay. :)

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON PART TWO OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC BOOK THAT TASTES LIKE MARVEL.

You know when you are reading a book and you feel like the story you are reading seems familiar but not really within the context you are reading it at the moment? If you can’t shake the wrong sense of familiarity you search for what it probably the biggest give away, the author.

Here it’s something like that; I have read other pieces of Chip Zdarsky’s work, namely Daredevil. While I could tell you the familiarity is there, in the subject of guilt after taking the life of another person, the reality is that this book doesn’t taste like Daredevil, it tastes like Marvel.

That can be either an excellent thing (because Marvel has amazing books) or something terrible (because DC isn’t Marvel and they don’t work the same way).

As of now I can’t really tell if this Red Hood story is going to be one or the other, but I can tell you that it feels out of place in the DC universe, or at least that’s how I see it. I will explore this particular thought later, I just thought this was a nice way to open this post.

If you would like to read the first post I made about this book I will leave the link here!

Now…let’s begin.

Part two picks up exactly where part one left off, we see Jason calling Oracle so she can bring the police to the place where Jason killed Andy a.ka. that gigantic piece of shit.

Jason is having some thoughts, ones that I think are important.

“I have taken lives before, a lot of them. I have killed guys knowing nothing about them except that they had guns and murder in their hearts. Those ones are easy; I don’t have to think of their mothers getting the news or of kids being...”

Jason is troubled. He is now in front of a reality that he never truly thought about but to be honest with you I strongly believe that nobody in the DC universe thinks beyond what happens in front of them, that’s just how fictional comic worlds are designed.

Anyway, there is a little something that bothers me in this inner monologue of his, like since when have “murderers” been Jason’s actual target? Like Joker was his target but he didn’t kill him, the base of Jason’s morals when it comes to killing has always been drugs, most importantly if you sell drugs to kids. So unless he is saying “murderers” because they were selling drugs that caused people (especially kids) to overdose then I don’t really get what is going on.

Another thing that I also talked about in the first post is that Jason hasn’t killed in a very long time, this man has been sticking to the Bats rule for so long that it’s actually unreal. Even when he shot the penguin and Batman proceeded to almost beat Jason to death the penguin hadn’t died. So once again I am thinking that Zdarsky has some info that he is not sharing right now or maybe he just didn’t read Lobdell's run (in which case, can you really blame him?)

Now let me talk about the other part of his monologue “…I don’t have to think of their mothers getting the news or of kids being...” This is something that I haven’t seen in DC, direct consequences after a hero/vigilante does something, and let me tell you it feels out of place. Is it a good or bad thing? I don’t really know but I have some thoughts on the subject.

I think it's unfair to put a comic character in that situation or dilemma. Jason has basically three reactions to the same situation and they are all valid, but can this situation be handled by a fictional person in a fictional world? Because to be fair I could also ask about the criminals that are put in hospitals after they are beat up by heroes, what if they die in the hospital? Is the hero a killer or does it fall on the hospital? If a criminal cannot pay for the attention given to them in hospitals and they immediately go back to criminal activity to pay for those things, are heroes a good thing? If the Joker bombs a hospital for the third time in four months and Batman does the same thing (take joker to Arkham) only for Joker to escape and do it again, is Batman as guilty as the Joker for the deaths of innocent people or not?

As I wrote it and as I read it again I see that it is a crazy thought because you can simply add more depth to the characters decisions and the consequences that would ensue because of them, but Gotham is a fictional city created to establish that crime is off the charts and that they need Batman because no amount of resources will be able to fix this city’s problems. So putting Jason in this position is new to me…but only in DC (more of this particular thought below).

Going back to the comic in question, I feel like Jason had the answers and the ideas all in his head. In this issue alone he basically says that if the mother does not pull through the boy will be alone, but alone means going into the system (a horrible system that Jason does not trust and needs improvement), but also, Jason recognizes that if the mother died and the father was left alive then that man would have done horrendous stuff. I just simply wouldn't believe that a man that gave drugs to both his wife and son so they wouldn't bother him is just going to change after realizing that his wife died because of him. Even less believable is him becoming an amazing father.

In the big scheme of things, Jason has killed people who fitted very certain characteristics, never innocents (bye, Morrison). What happens after the killing is done? We don’t know because past stories have never focused on that (criminals in comics are by default one dimensional, villains are not)

But here is the thing, Zdarsky is a Marvel writer and Marvel has gone in depth within those situations (like what happens after heroes commit mistakes or kill someone) mostly with Civil War by Mark Millar and more recently in Daredevil written by Chip Zdarsky, but DC hasn't and DC has been plain for a long time, DC doesn't really explain how batman hurts people severely and nothing happens beyond that.

What I am trying to say is that Zdarsky is going for a different and unique route for Jason here but I think the story is out of place in the DC universe.

I promise I am done with those thoughts, they were really difficult to put on paper and to make them make sense, so I apologize if I only confused you, sorry!

Anyway! After the monologue is done we have a flashback where little Jason is being told by his mother to go buy bread (the only thing they can afford) but she is also making him leave so he doesn’t have to be present when Robby (a friend if you ask Jason’s mom, a drug dealer if you ask Jason) comes to the apartment to help her.

Sadly as Jason is leaving Robby is walking up the stairs, now not to copy little Jason but fuck Robby. Jason’s issues with drugs, drug dealing and overdosing is once again shown here but what is also shown is the violence that comes with it. Jason being terrified for himself (and his mother) as Robby pulls a knife on him broke my heart and as he is left there in the corridor to his apartment all we can see is a defeated little boy and that shit hurts a lot.

After that we jump back to the future with none other than Batgod…I mean Batman. Batman is following a man called Sydney and apparently he disappointed Batman because B told him to stop being a criminal, like come on man if I ask nicely or if I break both of your arms you will surely stop, right? Yeah, no.

I feel like I mentioned something about this while my brain decided that DC never usually explains what happens with criminals after they get caught or killed and now here we are. Consequences. Batman scares a man off of working for Scarecrow but the man still needs to work (does he have a family to provide for? We don’t know. Does he do it because it’s the only job he can get? We don’t know.)

This Batman intermission ends up with Oracle telling him that Jason might be in trouble.

So we find ourselves back with Jason and Tyler in his safe house, Zdarsky does not hesitate and first thing he does is give us a couple of very angsty panels.

I love the way it hurts.

Jason honey, my sweet chonky boy…what are you doing?

Well at least I am not the only one asking that because Jason is having a moment to reflect about what has happened, what is happening and what could happen in the future. In this monologue he says the following:

“Dammit, Jason, what the hell are you doing? You can’t take care of this kid! But you can’t put him in the system either! Just waiting for some obsessed militaristic billionaire to adopt him? Dammit. His dad was scum, he hurt Tyler, he hurt his mom. But if Tyler’s mom doesn’t pull through…I just made this kid an orphan. He is my responsibility, he is too young to really see what he’s gone through, he can still be saved…unlike…”

Yeah that’s some really angsty thoughts, he is really going through it and I understand it. He lost his cool after what that horrible human being said he did and killed him and now he has to face the consequences of his actions, he recognizes that if the boy is left truly alone he will have to step up…but here is the thing, does Jason really want that? It seems to me like Jason is deeply against the idea of children working as heroes, and here he is as an adult that is a vigilante with an impressionable child that sees the Red Hood as his hero, I don’t know, it looks like the perfect recipe for a disaster.

But we don’t get to see what Jason does right away because its flashback time.

Jason only moved from his spot in the corridor of his apartment door to get the bread but as Robby comes out of said door Jason is there waiting. Robby teases that he and Jason’s mom ended up sharing the “medicine” and that she will be sleeping for a long time, and that seems to be it for Jason because next thing you know Robby is falling down the stairs.

Aw, shit.

Jason from the future continues his monologue while he remembers what happened on those stairs.

“I never had a chance, not for one second. But he does, Tyler has a chance. I can help him, help him be okay. This doesn’t…what I did…what his parents did, it doesn’t have to define him.”

So Jason wants to make things right for Tyler so he doesn’t become like Jason. Now I don’t truly know what Zdarsky is going for but I will go for the unconscious route, little Jason pushed Robby (that fucker) down the stairs and he was left unconscious there.

In Jason’s eyes Tyler is still a good kid that deserves only the best (like you Jason, please don’t think so low about yourself) and that can be saved from a life of vengeance, justice and trauma. But whatever Jason was going to actually say to Tyler we don’t know because Tyler informs Jason that through the Red Hood mask there is someone telling him that Batman is coming.

Batman appears out of nowhere as he does and starts talking shit.

Honestly Batman what is with that “not my town” bullshit? Baby this isn’t the medieval times, you are not a king and as far as I know not only is Lucius Fox richer than you but so is Dick so sit your ass down and shut the fuck up.

Luckily Jason is giving the outstanding amount of zero fucks and tells Batman exactly what he needs to be told, sadly Jason’s big brain time doesn’t last long because he absolutely loses his cool and starts a fight. So you know what that means, monologue time!

“This was a mistake, but I can’t help myself, he gets under my skin. His sanctimony, he acts like he’s God, all knowing, all seeing when really…he’s just another failed parent.”

Amen. Jason knows many languages but he chose to speak facts.

As the monologue ends Batman is standing over Jason like he is about to murder him but no such thing happens because Tyler, who was quietly watching them fight, jumps in to protect Jason. Yep, there goes my heart, goodbye.

And this is it. The issue ends with Tyler putting an end to the fight and telling batman that he has to leave the Red Hood alone because he is a good guy. Jason of course is thankful and promises that everything is fine.

 I don’t know about you guys but so far I can’t say if I like the book or not. Both parts left me with mixed feelings. I obviously want to see how it ends but I honestly think that there is only one way this story can end with a happy ending, which I think it would be Tyler going back to his mom and Jason somehow working to help her with her drug addiction, maybe even have Dick involved so he can help them economically.

Things that I surely do not want to see are Jason backing down again and limiting himself to the Bats rules. I also absolutely don’t want Zdarsky to go all Geoff Johns on us and make Jason think that he should give up the Red Hood mantle.

Jason really needs to gain his confidence back, he was smart, calculated and strategic and now they have taken those things away to accentuate his “daddy issues” and “inferiority complex”. Why the quotation marks you ask? Oh, because those things are bullshit and there is no room for those things in Jason’s characterization other than to add more angst to the plot.

Let me know how you felt about the issue and my review! Are you excited about what the four next issues are going to bring to the story?

Also if you read Marvel, did this issue taste like Marvel to you too or am I going crazy?

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Total Eclipsa the Moon and Butterfly Trap (Tomtrsopective Interlude)

Hello you beautiful people, and welcome back to the tomtrospective... minus Tom, since as i’ve mentioned a LOT in recent parts of this tribute to eveyrone’s faviorite demon voiced by shawn from boy meets world, realized I hadn’t mentioned that in a while, I”m also covering the metora arc from the second half of season 3, as Tom plays a pretty sizeable roll in it’s climax , the season 3 two part finale Divide and Conquer, and if i’m going to cover what’s essentially an hour long episode i’m going to do it right. It’s why i’m also doing the della arc alongside the Lena arc next month, the latter of which is fully paid for: because Shadow War pays that off too. Even if it makes way more work for me, if i’m going to review something, i’m gonna do it right. So we come to this pair of episodes.  First question a lot of you might be having... 

To which I say.. I ? We’ll see. The second is that “Why aren’t you covering the bog beast of boggabah?”. Well.. honestly it’s for time constraints. I have a LOT of episodes to cover, my own fault I know but again if you do a job you do it right, and cutting the one that while part of the plot isn’t nearly as essential to anything and ultimately only sticks for one episode character development wise. It’s not bad, almost nothing with Alan Tudyk in it is bad. That’s a fact, that’s a Disney fact. 

Point is while I like covering EVERYTHING I can, I do have to draw a line and since this retrospective is about TOM, i’d rather not pile on more episodes that don’t involve him than absolutley necessary. Bog Beast just dosen’t feel NEARLY as much of a necessary detour as these two coming up or Skooled and Tough Love down the line.  So with all that out of the way, join me under the cut for a discussion of Eclipsa’s character up to these episodes and the episodes themselves. 

Our detour DOES take us right into my OTHER faviorite character in the series, tied with tom and the other character that makes watching the series post battle of mewni, worthwhile: Eclipsa. We’ve mentioned her before obviously but this is the first episode she actually shows up in that i’m covered, and i’m delighted to finally tackle her head on. And the other faviorite thing isn’t an exageration: She’s equal to tom in my heart. She’s just as compelling, just as well acted, and unlike Tom actually gets a decent resolution to her character arc. In fact she’s one of the ONLY characters to get a decent resolution.  It’s also at this point her character undergoes a shift. While she dosen’t change as a person that much, before this it was left purposfully vauge if Eclipsa was really.. evil, and possibly the big bad of the season. On the one hand her magic is unquestionably dark and evil even if she isn’t, and while Star wasn’t at all effected by her chapter, Marco went all 

For a second before Glossaryck fixed it off screen, and using her “Darkest Spell” left both her and moon with blackened goop on their arms for the rest of their lives. Not only that but she pushed Star into morally dubious actions: Teling her Marco could be her squire simply because she said so, and being the one that encouraged her to explore her butterfly form. 

But we also saw her GENUINELY bond with Star, the two relating both on seeing monsters as people, and dating them, and on being reckless, powerful and often looked down upon by Moon for unfair reasons. Something I hadn’t realized but shoudl’ve before this is, for Season 3 at least.. Eclipsa is the mentor star never properly had. Glossaryck, while he did do a decent job from time to time, is just too damn neutral to be a proper mentor, not really carring what happens to mewni or if he even lives or dies, a neglectful attitude that honestly caused a good chunk of Mewni’s problems, never remotely trying to invervene in his protege Solaria’s genocidal campaign against monsters, his children’s growing fantatical racisim, or well.. anything. He just dosen’t care.  Moon TRIED to be one, and can be a good mother on occasion.. but the two are exact opposites: Moon is controlled in every aspect of her life and compartmentalizes and structures everything, while Star is pure chaos and impulse. It’s why River has an easier time parenting her, as she got a LOT more of his personality than her mothers, and thus can actually relate to her. Bog Beast shows this off well: He teaches her a lesson Moon probably has tried to a thousand times, to be patient.. but does so on her level with an old family ritual and using a metaphor, rather than trying to drill it into her head. It’s why when he did actually teach her Glossayrck used the same: Star is just not a traditional learner, moon is. And there in lies the problem.. Moon just cannot accept for most of the series that her daughter isn’t like her despite her best efforts or try to see it on her level, and Star dosen’t really try to see it from Moon’s perspective either, though being you know the Child and not the parent, it’s a bit more understandable. Moon has a real hard time seeing other people’s perspectives, and really changing.. and given Star has gone from being a proud racist to realising how horrible her attiude to monsters were in under a year, really is why the two clash so much. It’s something I sadly relate to: While my own dad is not racist, he is a staunch republican, is one of those morons who belives the “Well if trans people can use the bathroom they want then rapists will put on women’s clothing just to enter a bathroom!” bullshit fully, and while he supports gay people myself included did NOT support gay marraige and when I was a teen would often say “Wellt hat’s as valid as me marrying bob” Bob.. is my dad’s cat who hates me for understandable reasons as I was not great with cats when he got him. So yeah I get your parent being an impenetrable brick wall on important issues. 

The point is Eclipsa...actually listens to star, agrees to her views and instead of trying to FORCE star to go the way she wants simply guides her, giving her advice and being gentle with her. The two are similar enough that Eclipsa’s advice, good or bad, tends to stick, and that Eclipsa actually cares what Star thinks which Moon does not. But it was hard to gage if she GENUINELY cared or was just playing star. But these episodes shred that ambiguity to pieces, showing that while eclipsa is not without faults.. she’s not evil... and the people who called her that very much ARE. So without further adeu....

Total Eclipsa The Moon:

In the previous episode, Star burst into Moon’s room giving her the revelations of the night. Moon.. did not take it well, both unaware and furious her daughter had a party at the monster temple, refusing to believe her and taking umbrage at Star’s VERY understandable accusation that she sent Rhombulus after them, since he had her royal guards with him, levitating her daughter out of the office. 

But what is suprising is that, as this episode opens after brooding a bit and TRYING to get back to work.. Moon clealry can’t get the idea out of her head. You can see the wheels turning: Sure star is impulsive and did falsely accuse her.. but she’s not a liar. While Star hides stuff on occasion.. when she lost the book she came right to her parents to confess, something Moon genuinely appricated. Why would she TRANSPARENTLY make something up? While the trial is close, Star would at least, if sloppily and ucnovncingly try and fake evidence if that was her goal. And while the party isn’t something Moon is happy about it is VERY suspcious Rhombulus didn’t tell her about police action on her terriotry using her own guards involving her daughter, several monsters, and the heirs to every kingdom in the land.  So she takes the Royal Lineage book and goes to see Eclipsa.. who made a guitar out of bones because she’s awesome and that’s what you do when you have a lot of itme on your hands and nothing else to do. 

She’s casual with Moon, who just assumes she’ll get the answer she wants l,  asks her to identify her daughter.. though Eclipsa is taken aback by this. She’s willing to.. she just hasn’t seen her face in thosands of years let alone as a grown woman and assumes she’s dead by now. It’s a very good, very small moment.. and it’s made more striking both by what we learned last episode.. and the fact she has no idea who Festivia is, and knows who her one and only Daughter was: Meteora. And while Moon does bring up that her name just could’ve been changed... Eclipsa shoots that down.. Meteora had clover cheeks and “The cutest little tail”. Moon asks how this even makes sense and Eclipsa’s response is absolutely wonderful “When a queen and a monster love each other very much...”. Before we can get to the sexy details Moon then clarifies that she’s confused how she didn’t know about this and wants answers, though she still keeps Metora still being alive a secret for now.. but it’s understndable as Moon still dosen’t trust Eclipsa, and dosen’t want to risk her trying to escape to find her right before the trial. Eclipsa tells her there is one place they could get a solid answer, the archives, which are in the commission building, though Moon apparently doesn’t have access..despite being queen. You think she would’ve questioned that by now given the name.

But Moon plans to go, and refuses to take Eclipsa along.. but is swayed when Eclipsa genuinely not only accepts it.. but sadly and without any hint of manipultion and with pure honesty asks her to tell her what happened to her daughter. And for the first time... Moon sees Eclipsa as not the boogeyman history wrote her as.. but just another mother desperatley looking for her child and finding out history covered her up and she may never know what happened to her.  So we next cut to the magical high comission building, where we see Shawn, the security guard, deer man and bumbling doofus, who ends up not scanning moon when the magic detector, basicallyu a metal detctor, goes read because she terrifies him out of it. And yeah.. good point she is on the comission he really shoudn’t have to do that. Though I like the sublte hints with this and the archives that the comission have slowly creeped up in thier authority: while the queen is still granted a seat at the table.. she’s not given ALL the toys in the box despite that not really being fair given how much sway the comission has in mewni politics.  But naturally Moon has snuck eclipsa in and even more naturally is nearly having a panic attack over breaking the rules. But she dosen’t have time for that and asks Eclipsa where the archives are. 

She’s not tricking moon or anything though: It’s been thousands of years and the comission building has changed vastly, when she was around the archives were just a stone hut off to the side. That gives Moon an idea and they find a stone wall in the storage room, which Eclipsa activates in her own weird and endearing way.  This also shows off the one trait that seperates Eclipsa from star: Star usually just does random things because. While Eclipsa isn’t IMUNE to this usually when she does something weird it’s specifically to acomplish something, she’s just using her own unique methods. LIke here she rubs her back against the stones and what not.. ut it gets the door open. Unfortuntely our heroines then run into Shawn who being a natural narc, runs off ot tattle before Moon cuts him off. Eclipsa insists they zap his memory and only hasn’t for a crucial reason: she can’t do magic without a wand. It’s an intresting and understandable reveal: like star she just relied on the wand for it and never learned how to do her spells without it as she never really needed to.. and even now she dosen’t. While her magic COULD help her escape.. she has no intrest in escaping since it’d only hurt star and even a sham trial will still make her a martyr for mosnter kind and prove Star’s point she’s not a bad person. Even if she looses she wins. So she simply had no reason to relearn it and likely figured correctly doing so might just rouse further suspicon or get her locked in chains or other nonsense and given she can, if unbenownst to moon, wander the castle freely via the secret passages.. she’s really not bothered by house arrest.  Moon of course dosen’t want to.. but in a great gag ends up doing so by mockingly saying “Memory eraser gun” and making a gun gesture with her hand.. and ends up actually doing that as a result. They put the comotose magic outside. And this scene is a great character bit to me for both characters: It shows off a bit flaw for each character: For moon it’s that she lacks the ablity to improvise. She can and has created magic but is so orderly and regimented it has to be percise and she dosen’t grasp just HOW easily a spell can be created simply by imagining it. She lacks the pure raw creativity and talent of her daughter and supposed ancestor.... but makes up for it in what she calls eclipsa out on: restraint. While Moon has ENTIRELY too much, serioulsy the stick is so far up her ass she can see it when she talks, it’s not itself a bad thing, and using it recklessly and irresponsibly, as the suplmental big boook of spells shows, without thought or without proper preperation can have devistating consequences. Skywinn, one of the past queens and the first in the book, destroyed an entire dimension simply by letting loose far too much, while Rhina, Moon’s great great grandmother, acccidently kileld her abusive husband because her heartbreak spell was a bit too literal. Power is fine and all. but you have to control it. It’s why Xavier’s School Existed before he decided to take all the kids to an island because humanity suck so much: you need to learn to use your pwoer responsibly and eclipsa never did. She can contorl it perfectly as we’ll see.. but she also dosen’t think of the implications of what she does with it, she just does and to hell with the consequences. And that’s really her whole problem: She acts mostly on impulse without thinking, and it’s had bad consequences.. though ironically her fleeing with Globgor, as said book wonderfuly outlined.. was NOT a rash or impulse decision but a VERY hard one where she was stuck between keeping the crown and pleasing eveyrone.. or fleeing with her lover, being happy and taking care of a serious threat to the kingdom as a whole WITH him, but knowing it might not end well.. and sadly it did not.  Eclipsa does show her skill though once agian, having made up a silly song to rmemeber where to go and since the archives haven’t been touched and are about the same, easily leads them in. Though once they reach the door they can’t open it, but Eclipsa has a solution: A rat hole. “It’s so gross in here” she says delighted. Moon isn’t happy about it but agrees to it.. but her ass gets stuck.. and that’s not me being crude or making a joke her ass literally gets stuck and Eclipsa has to go for help but takes an hour, long enough for a spider to hypnotize moon and steal her crown and for moon to question trusting her.. before Eclipsa returns.  And this is what cements what I was getting at: Before there was clear ambiguity in “Is eclipsa the villian or not”. Here.. it’s gone. She has shady powers and her morals are flexable.. but she’s still a kind, loveably weird woman and it’s obvious by this point her reputation as evil was horribly exagerated, and primarily brought on by racisim. And moon’s realizing it too. They find the archives, which is a cool concept: magitek hands that record everything that happens to a royal, even showing some of what’s going on right then in the other plot. Moon quips that this actually really would’ve helped with the trial, but apologizes for it showing that she’s slowly realized what Star knew from minute one and what I just mentioned: Eclipsa is not a bad person. She’s flawed, but she’s not evil or some nightmarish destroyer of worlds.. she’s just a batty 40-50 something woman who dosne’t think through her actions. 

Eclipsa does explain it probably wouldn’t of done moon good, as it’s near impossible to find anything unless you know where to look.. which makes perfect sense. The scroll records every queen’s every actoin every minute of every day. Even summarized that’s like trying to sift through footage of eveyr minute of your life. Even sped up, it’d take weeks or months or even years to find something without knowing where exactly to look. Thankfully Eclipsa does.. but finds the Scroll has been offered as the “Daughter of queen eclipsa nd king shatacan” is sewn in there as festivia.. literally.. like part of the scroll was ripped out. And as close friend, endless resource and tom expert bar none @jess-the-vampire​ pointed out to me when I asked for her imput on these ones, that makes no sense as the two never had a daugther and I feel they just didn’t think that through. Plot hole aside.. it’s VERY clear someone has tampred with the archives and if Moon wasn’t already questinoing if Eclipsa was really bad this clinches it: Someone ERASED one of her family from history and hid the truth even from them. And Moon’s going ot get answers.. after our heroes run from the security system, get the crown back and BARELY escape with the scroll before the comission catches them. 

Back at the castle Eclipsa is disgraught over her daughter and Moon clinches their new bond by revealing she might still be alive... Moon might not KNOW if Star was telling or even knew the whole truth.. but she knwos something is going on and she’s going to find out. And whiel she may not know everything.. she has a damn good idea who did this.. .and says so just as star comes in from her adventure, having learned patience. Cue the credits.  Final Thoughts: This was a fun one, with Moon and Eclipsa having a delightful odd couple dynamic, the regminted overly serious and overly stuffy moon with the wild and reckless and charmingly weird eclipsa is just a great dynamic and endlessly entertaining and I wish the show had done more with it before what’s about to happen but what we got was great and minor plot hole mentioned aside, the reveal only deepens the intrigue for what’s next.. so speaking of which...

Butterfly Trap: Here. We. Go. One of the series best episodes, if not it’s BEST. Oh me mow i’m excited. 

We open with the long set up trial of Eclipsa Butterfly.. and as you’d expect by a trial by a jury of her enimies, the comission mostly sees this as a formality outside of Moon. Sean is excited though, he gets to bring out the typey thingy. Usually Rhombluus just crystalises them. 

Yeahhh... the show never properly deals with Rhombulus’ tendency to imprison first ask questions never or gets any of his victims, i.e. the ones he probably had less reason to crystal up not ones who were eating universes or whatever , free. But this is the LEAST of the dropped threads from this one. Point is this isn’t a remotely fair trial.. as hammermed in by the fact Hekapoo is upset and confused that Star is here too. Moon wants her to see eclipsa got a fair trial. Also Rhomblus wants her DEAD, but the others shot him down on this. HIs reasoning , for him, is suprisingly good: crystalising her didn’t work last time and implicilty given star likes her star could just order her freed when she’s queen. But I get their reasoning: Killing her would only make her a martyr to monsterkind, and to Star who probably woudln’t listen to or respect them EVER again. And Moon still wanted that when she started the trial.  So while clearly a sham this does crystalize, pun unitended, how corrupt the comissoin is. Their holding a trial with no jury, no witnesses, not that most are alive but some are, and with everyone CLEARLY thinking she’s guilty before it starts... and no one questioned it. This is even unusual as they rarely have an actual trial. And it’s about to be revealed to be a WHOLE lot worse. 

So the trial begins and Moon brings out the evidence, which is oddly disorganized given how much work she was putting in before, and ismostly secondhand accounts and interviews and their going to have to just sit there and sort through it all, which NONE OF THEM, especially rhomblus are happy about “THIS SOUNDS LIKE MATH!”

But Eclipsa has a simplier, if much more risky suggestion: Trial by Box. While Moon points out this isn’t great for her as the box is merciless and will not take lies, but Eclipsa counters rightly that she has nothing to hide. ANd honestly again given the commission are clearly out for her blood.. this is the only way she gets anything resembling a fair trial. Resembling being the key word. This is the most clearly rigged trial i’ve seen since that time Batman’s villians kidnapped him and put him on trial with joker as the judge.. good episode though.. and THAT was even a more fair trial as they actually gave him a lawyer and let him go when she made a convincing enough case. 

So the box is brought out, and it turns out to be the truth or punishment cube from season 2. Which Moon insists isn’t a party game.. despite the fact a bunch of teenage girls easily got one and it has a setting for that when moon grabs it. Along with, in a really great bit, settings for Bachelorette (All right ladies!) and Intervention. Know someone who could use that honestly. 

So the Comission ask their questions. We start with Rhombluus who asks if she wrote the “Evil Chapter” in the book of spells. Eclipsa dosen’t deny it but ponits out THEY labeled it that, Star rightly points out none of htem have actually read it moon included, and Eclipsa.. shoves her foot in her mouth by pointing out she’s made FAR WORSE spells that didnt make the cut. “Writing is rewriting you know”.  Love this woman. 

So next up is Hekapoo who asks if she abandoned her husband to run off with Globgor. Well they dont’ use his name because end of season plot twist but still. Eclipsa not only firmly doesen’t deny it but fondly caressses the projection of him “Hello sweetie”. Hekapoo marks her down with evil for this which... Jeff if you would?

Thank you. Not only is this racist bs that star perfectly destroyed earlier in the season, as the comission themselves are monsters in all but category, but the spellbook makes this so much worse. As I said for once Eclipsa .. wasn’t being impulsive. She was torn between duty and love and choose love, and even then partially did so to prevent the septarians from wiping out both the rest of monster kind AND mewmans. And Shastacan, was a massive dick, who took her not being in love with him like he was with her as a sign to throw her monster child away as we’’ll see and rightfully got eaten for it. I know this is all obvious stuff but it’s hard not to yell about it.  Next it Rhombluus.. who asks if she ate those babies. Again that was Bubipsa as Hekapoo understandably yells at him for but no backsies, and she sgets another evil mark on H-Poo’s good or evil tally because she’s that bitch. Finally Moon asks if she’s sorry for what she’s done.. and given the most they genuinely have are that she wrote spells that while dark and evil, were not only not the worst she could do but were clearly not used on any innocents, had an interracial marraige, and did not eat babies.. yeah, she’s not. So the comissoin prepare to cast judgement on the woman whose only “crime” is interacial dating, in a sham trial. 

Thankfully.. Eclipsa turns the tables. Before they can hastily refreeze her... Eclipsa points out she has a question.. and Moon points out as a former queen of mewni she’s entitled to a comission seat and thus TECHNICALLY a member. A loose rule and one you’d think Moon wouldn’t enforce.. but she does, a large hint at something i’ll get to in a moment as the reveal’s just too good to spend already. Naturally she has but one question for them:

No, obviously it’s “What did you do with my daughter”. Even more obviously they deny it.. but as we saw last time the cube came out, even lying to YOURSELF isn’t something the cube accepts so outright lying to save your fucking hides is even worse and it begins to crush them all. And after spending most of the runtime putting up with their racist and clearly biaserd bollocks it’s SO fucking cathartic to see them desperatly scramble and fail to avoid the box, with Hekapoo screaming “We didn’t do anything!”. 

Eventually Star calls them out on it pointing out they enforce the rules for everyone ELSE, and Hekapoo in paticular called Star and Moon on keeping the book being stolen a secret and Marco on Star’s butterfly form fiasco, so yeah, their glass house is in shards.. and Rhombluus FINNALLY ends this charade and confesses. Hekapoo naturally is mad at him for this.. despite the fact that if he hadn’t they’d all be dead and none of this would matter. 

Also Eclipsa is just badass during the entire sequence. While Moon and Star are panicking and the comission are covering for themselves, though the former two are probably doing it more just to keep up appearances but we’ll get to that in just a moment. Eclipsa, SHe just has this expression the whole time, as I put at the top for good reason. 

Just a look of pure SCORN, of a mother’s rage at having her daughter hidden from her and wiped from history, of having her husband imprisoned for rightfully getting vengance for it, for having HERSELF imiprosned and made out to be some kind of ghoul for the crime of marrying who she loved and saving her damn kingdom. She’s politely put up with this shit for as long as she had to to get to this moment.. but now as her tormentors despretly try to avoid the consequences of their actions and the truth.. she can only look on with pure, justified hatred at EVEYRTHING they’ve done and just how cowardly it is they refuse to admit it. 

So with the pepretraotrs in the cover up explosed, Rhomblus explains he was tired of lying. This COULD have been a good turn for the character, showing he had some remorse and have him get a redepmption arc... any of them could’ve.. but instead thier just 2 dimensonal asssholes after this because “racists be like that’ which they do, but it dosen’t mena you couldn’t of used them as big bads for the final season instead of wasting them.  But yeah back on point Rhombluus prods omni to tell them via his projection thing and he does: After Eclipsa was imprisoned, Shastacan got rid of meteora, and we of course know where she went and soon we’ll find out just what happened to her there, but more ont hat another time, and the comission covered things up by taking a pesant girl, though unlike the graphic above we later found out she was left behind by her family and taken in by the comission, who are shown to also have raised her by the book of spells. They gave her the wand, putting magic in her veins.. how ..

Look me and Jess discussed this: magic being given by the wand is terribly inconsistent and while I might go into it in a seperate article some other day, now is not the time or place for it. 

It is however the time and place for the reveal as Moon’s reaction to all of this? “We suspected as much”

Yup, as our heroines explain and Shawn freaks the fuck out in one of the series best gags, and mirrors the audience’s reactions, we find out this was all a setup: and as I alluded too one cleverly set up the whole episode, pun unintended: Moon is suddenly dour and ready to to through with the trial despite last episodes revelations, she brings in evidence that’s entirely unsorted despite being a control freak who was previously working on gathering and sorting said evidence, and she backs up eclipsa despite it clearly givng her an advantage. All little hints that something wasn’t right there. Whlie Hekapoo, being again that bitch, is naturally furious, Moon is undaunted and explains why they did this.. and Star was in on it too, which shows that even if her patience lesson from bog beast dosen’t stick entirely, sigh, it does stick for this one episode as she not only waited through this sham trial.. but played her part well, arguging with moon at times to make it seem like nothing had changed. Everything was a careful and constructed plan to get the commission into a position where they COULDN’T lie. Even if Rhombulus hadn’t cracked one of them might of when theyw ere close and while it was a huge risk they all knew going in... it paid off. The truth is laid bare. If only Lekmet’s bi ass were here .. so he could aslo get raked over teh coals for htis. Also yes bi, he had the bi flag colors on the flowers on ihs portrait they left where his seat used to be. 

So with the cards all on the table, the Cube passes judgment; Eclipsa is guilty.. but so are her judges minus Moon, so he tells them to think about that, which they do, while he leaves so they can sort out their issues. Star reads the assholes the riot act.. until she stumbles on realizing something: Eclipsa, her supportive, loving, and wonderful grandma whose actually like her.. isn’t her grandma. Eclipsa responds with an “I’m sorry sweetie’ making two things clear by her tone: She’s just as devistated by this reveal as star, she just has more pressing things in her head right now, and that even if their not bound by blood.. sh’es still star’s grandma and always will be.  What hits harder is the realization sh’es not a princess and her life is a lie. Granted she is TECHNICALLY a princess , since her dad is still a king by blood and could take the johnason throne if he wanted, but tha’ts being pednatinc: the real point is that the legacy that put so  much pressure on her all her life is a lie, and she isn’t who she thought she was.  “We’re nothing mom, we’re nothing. “ 

So star runs off as both of her moms try and comfort her. And as we close out this episode god damn is Eden Sher good in this. Just her acting in this scene is so damn heartbreaking and powerful, going from indignant and calling out the cocmisison.. to heartbreaking, slowly and quitely falling apart as she realizes what happened. So what’s this anguish star’s going through amount to?

Oh sure the ending of season 3 wouldn’t happen without this reveal.. but Star being devistated by it goes NOWHERE. There’s no character arc of her dealing with the fact she’s no longer a princess or once she gives teh wand to eclipsa, even heir to the throne probably. No angst, no deep reflection not even an offhand joke. We find out who the commoners Festivia descended from were.. but that’s IT. Star just kinda ignores this like her confession to marco last season only that at least got a payoff. I will bitch about that payoff soon but it’s you know A PAYOFF. This is a WASTE of an utterly amazing plot twist, one that turns the show on it’s head and star’s entire rebelious princess character around. because they just didn’t care to actually let her change as a character after this season. She learns nothing from this point, dosen’t really grow, and ends in a really terrible and ghastly place. This episodes excellent and while it’s after effects would be felt.. it left SO much more on the table they never bothered to pick up and use. 

Final Thoughts: As I said full of wasted potetinal.. but one of the series best episodes still. Hampered a bit by said waste of potetial but on it’s own it’s gripping, has a well set up swereve, and some great acting and animation all around. 

So that does it for this review: Next Time: Star and Tom’s relationship progresses as Tom is forced to see what his privlage has insulated him from, while it then hits a massive road block as we get.. to Booth Buddies. And yes i’m doing Skooled second, Booth Buddies is TECHNICALLY seasonly approraite for valentine’s way.. just like herpes. Until then follow this blog for more reviews, my comissions are open shoot me an ask for details and until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[vgckwb]

P5R: Rebel Girl (A FeMC Story/P5R Rework) Chapter 46: Sunset, Sunrise

On the final day of Madarame’s exhibition, a surprise press conference was called by Madarame himself. As it started, Madarame was crying his eyes out. “People of Japan! I have to apologize!” He cried out. “I am not worthy of your admiration. The artist Madarame is nothing more than a sham. Most of my masterpieces, including the Sayuri, are not my own. I robbed my students of their art, and claimed it as my own. To keep this all under wraps, I intimidated my students, and I sometimes even abused them.”

Everyone present at the press conference was shocked. Meanwhile, Madarame’s eyes continued to flow like faucets left on. He continued speaking. “In fact, the real author of the Sayuri died before they could claim it as their own. I took it in an act of desperation, and jump-started my meteoric rise to the top of the artwork on the backs of my students, who are more deserving than I am.” He continued to cry his eyes out. Members of the press tried to ask further questions, but Madarame had lost control of himself and continued bawling.

Meanwhile, several people were watching the press conference on the big TV in the Shibuya crossing. It cut to a reporter reporting from a desk. “This shocking confession comes soon after Madarame’s home was broken into. The burglar in question was a former student of Madarame’s. However, as part of this confession, Madarame has decided to drop all charges against said student.

Furthermore, a little while after the break in, Madarame’s exhibit was the target of this message; A letter supposedly sent by The Phantom Thieves. This is not the first time this sort of thing has happened. While there are many who still are skeptical of the existence of these thieves, some are beginning to think that such a group may be real.

Needless to say, Madarame has been put under arrest. Due to Madarame’s age, he is being taken to the hospital for a full assessment of health. Once complete, he will be tried and sentenced.”

Among those watching at the Shibuya crossing was a boy in a coat and shoulder-length brown hair. “Phantom Thieves.”

Makoto was also watching. “The Phantom Thieves. Again. Hm.”

Another person in the crowd was Nakanohara, the person who led the Phantom Thieves to Madarame in the first place. He let out a single tear, as he quietly said “Thank you, Phantom Thieves.”

Meanwhile, the thieves were at their hideout. “Alright! Another success!” Ryuji shouted.

“Ryuji!” Ann said. “Not so loud!”

“Sorry” Ryuji said. “But more people are talking about us, eh.”

Yusuke looked onward. “Are you doing OK Yusuke-senpai?” Sumire asked.

Yusuke snapped out of his stupor. “Huh? Oh. Yeah.”

Everyone looked at him. “What’s up?” Ryuji asked. “I thought you’d be more excited.”

“Well… How do I put this?” Yusuke asked. “I’m glad that Madarame is finally paying for his crimes...but…” He sighed. “Living with Madarame, and everything that came with it is everything I’ve ever known. It’s just weird is all. I feel like what’s in front of me is this blank empty space.”

“Oh, uh, sorry” Ryuji said.

Sumire placed a hand on his shoulder. “I get it. That kind of thing can be hard. But it can bring about new good things too.”

Yusuke smiled. “You’re correct. In a way, that blank empty space is much like a canvas just waiting for a masterpiece.”

“I hope there’s room for us in that masterpiece you call life” Ren remarked.

“Hm. Of course” Yusuke said. “I cannot thank you enough for everything you did. Therefore, I humbly request to be a permanent member of the Phantom Thieves.”

Everyone else was surprised. “You don’t have to request anything,” Ren answered, smiling.

“Yeah, as far as we’re concerned, you’re already one of us,” Morgana added.

“I thank you,” Yusuke replied.

“So, ummmm” Ann said. “Do you still want to paint me?”

“Hm?” Yusuke said. “Well, I wouldn’t say that’s out of the question, but I don’t think now’s the best time to do that.”

“Right,” Ann said. She smiled. “Well, if you need me, you just have to call.”

“Just make sure you don’t do too good a job,” Ryuji said. “Otherwise the professional photographers she deals with will have your head.”

“Ryuji!” Ann said, shoving him playfully. Ryuji laughed.

“My, what a marvelous couple” Yusuke said.

Ryuji and Ann looked at him and turned cherry red. “What are you talking about?” Ryuji said, nervously.

“Y-Yeah. We’re just friends” Ann insisted.

“Really?” Yusuke said. “Huh. I guess I’m seeing the world in new ways. I apologize.” Ren and Sumire shared a snicker. Meanwhile, Morgana was frazzled. Jose noticed this and started scratching his ears. As much as Morgana didn’t want to enjoy it at that moment, he couldn’t help but smile.

After Morgana was placated, Jose stopped, turned to Yusuke, and said “So, do you need help moving into the dorms?”

“Hmmm” Yusuke thought. “Well, there’s a swath of police over at Madarame’s as we speak, collecting evidence. I assume that whatever’s left will be ‘my’ stuff, and I don’t know how much that is for sure though.”

Well we can go over and check it out” Jose said, optimistically.

“I’d like that,” Yusuke said.

“Wait!” Sumire interrupted. “If the police are there, will they find the treasure?”

Everyone was alerted, as no one had thought of that. Well, aside from Yusuke. “While I don’t know what on the periphery is mine versus Madarame’s, I know for certain a few things are, and the real Sayuri is hidden among them. We should be fine.” Sumire sighed a sigh of relief.

“So, what’s gonna happen to Kosuke?” Ann asked. “The news said that Madarame had dropped all charges against him.”

Yusuke nodded. “He actually contacted me soon after that, but before we all met up here. He said he was going to move to Sendai to start over.”

“I’ve been there before for some gymnastics competitions, '' Sumire said. “It’s quite lovely.”

“But, uh, what’ll he be doin’?” Rji asked.

“Apparently, another one of Madarame’s former pupils lives there,” Yusuke said. “He’s going to move with him, and he’s talking about this with the boss of his security company for a possible transfer.”

“I see,” Ann said.

“So, what do you think about the Phantom Thieves’s popularity now that we took down another baddie?” Ryuji asked.

“Hmmm” Ren thought. “Well, I think we can get deeper into Mementos now,” she remarked. “But as for what people think, it’ll take time.”

“Huh,” Ryuji said.

“So, how does this work now?” Yusuke said. “Do you have another target in mind?”

“Not really,” Morgana said. “Finding people to change their hearts requires legwork. And there’s no guarantee that the person would have a palace.”

“Meaning he pushes that onto us” Ryuji snided.

“Hey I found one person,” Morgana said.

“By almost getting kidnapped!” Ryuji retorted.

“That’s not the point!” Morgana said.

“Morgana stays with me most of the time” Ren said, trying to cool tempers. “So while he could go off and find leads, he’s better off staying with me in case anything happens.”

“Yeah!” Morgana said, only mostly confident in himself.

“...I guess that’s fair,” Ryuji relented.

“We wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, senpai,” Sumire said, giggling. Yusuke noticed Sumire’s slight blush, but decided not to make another remark, on the chance that it would spark another awkward moment.

“So” Jose interjected, “while we’re waiting, do you want to head over to the shack to grab your things now?”

Yusuke nodded. “Unless we have other business to attend to.”

Ren shook her head. “I just wanted us to meet up to make sure the confession went smoothly.”

“I certainly think it did,” Yusuke said.

“Oh yeah” Ann said. “Did Madarame ever say anything about the people he’s worked with?” Ann said.

“Sadly no” Yusuke said. “He was more caught up in his own dealings, rather than this apparent group.”

“I see,” Ann said. Ann was shaking a little, hesitant to ask what else was on her mind. “Well, did he give a reason as to why he said he let your mom die when according to the Will Seeds he didn’t?”

Yusuke grew more serious. “No, but I’ve been thinking about that. I think it has something to do with Madarame’s vanity. He has to be the most of whatever he’s embodying. He’s either the best artist of the modern age, the most heinous man he can be, or, as evidenced by the confession, the most remorseful. Him saying he let my mom die is his way of aggrandizing his own villainy.”

“Woah,” Ryuji said. “That’s...a lot.”

“Indeed,” Yusuke said. There was an awkward silence. “Well, we should get going, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Ren said.

“Hey, maybe we can find out if the police know anything,” Jose said, shifting the conversation. “Either about Madarame’s contacts, or any possible future targets.”

“My, you’re quite the thinker,” Yusuke said. “Very well. Let’s head off. Until next time!”

“Later” Jose said. The two of them headed to Madarame’s shack. The rest headed home for the evening.

Once the police left, Yusuke and Jose messaged the group.

Yusuke: I’m afraid we’ve had no such luck.

Ryuji: Wha?

Jose: While we were with the police, we didn’t hear anything about Madarame’s contacts.

Yusuke: We did hear some mumblings about drugs getting passed around Shibuya, but that’s about it.

Jose: No name, no nothing.

Ann: Well, that kind of stinks.

Ryuji: Do you think the police might be involved with the people Madarame was talking about?

Ren: As someone who was wrongfully arrested, I wouldn’t put it past them.

Yusuke: Hmmm.

Yusuke: Well, I don’t know if it would have come up much anyway.

Yusuke: Nothing about Madarame's palace was about this cabal anyway.

Sumire: So, stealing his treasure wouldn’t reveal much about it?

Yusuke: Precisely.

“That’s not a bad call, actually,” Morgana said.

Yusuke: And if the police are in on it, that part might get swept under the rug.

Ryuji: So, we’re basically back to square one?

Ren: Not quite.

Ren: We’re still the Phantom Thieves. So long as we’re out and about, we have the power to undermine whoever is abusing the metaverse.

Ryuji: I see. So we’ll be a constant thorn in their side! I love it!

Ann: But maybe we should be careful.

Ann: I mean, if these people are causing the mental shutdowns, and possibly have the police in line, then we’re dealing with some really heavy hitters.

“That’s true…” Morgana said. “Lady Ann’s so smart.”

Ren: Morgana says you’re smart Ann.

“What?!” Morgana said, panicking.

Ann: Tell him thank you. Morgana started blushing and muttering unintelligibly.

Yusuke: While that may be true, there are a lot of people who still don’t believe in us yet.

Yusuke: I’m sure if we can play our cards right, we can use that to our advantage as well.

Ryuji: I hear that. We gotta make sure that they'll never see us comin’!

Ren: We can’t forget about Eris and her deal as well.

Ann: Right.

Jose: Isn’t Eris’s whole thing to build us up to either side with her or fight with her?

Ren: Well, yeah. But it’s still important to remember that.

Ren: Besides, Eris is the emissary of chaos. She won’t hesitate to disrupt anyone’s plans so long as it suits her needs.

Ann: Yeah.

Ann: So the best thing to do is keep a steady head.

Ren: Yeah.

Yusuke: Well, sorry we couldn’t find anything useful.

Ryuji: Nah, it’s fine. It was probably a long shot anyway.

Jose: We should head to Kosei and get you settled in.

Yusuke: You’re right.

Yusuke: Good night.

Ryuji: G’night.

Ann: Good night.

Sumire: Good night.

Ren: Good night.

Ren set her phone down and laid in her bed.

Meanwhile, at the prosecutor’s office, the woman who was intimidating Sojiro was working on a laptop. As she was, the young man in the coat came in. “Ah, Niijima-san,” he said. “Working late again, I see.”

Niijima looked up from her computer and glared at the boy. “Akechi-san. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was just hoping for some friendly chit-chat,” Akechi responded.

Niijima continued working away. “Those Phantom Thieves stuck again.”

“I saw that,” Akechi noted. “I believe your sister was in the crowd at the Shibuya Crossing when the confession was airing.” 

Niijima glared at him once again. “Do you WANT to irritate me?”

“Not at all,” Akechi said. “Like I said, I want this to be friendly.”

Niijima continued to glare for a bit, and then relented. “So, what did you wish to discuss?”

“Well, I’m assuming that you believe that these so-called ‘Phantom Thieves’ are the ones behind the mental shutdowns,” Akechi surmised.

“I do,” Niijima answered. “The M.O. matches up.”

“Well, about that,” Akechi said. Niijima was curious. “While it’s true that the Phantom Thieves cause a change in behavior, as do the mental shutdowns, the examples we have from the Phantom Thieves don’t match the examples we have from the mental shutdown cases. Besides, why start signing their work now?”

“Maybe they think they can get away with it,'' Niijima answered.

“Well, I guess that’s one way of thinking,” Akechi said.

“And you think that these two are unrelated?” Niijima asked.

“Well, not entirely,” Akechi said. “I believe the tactic used is similar, but I think they’re being used by two different groups.”

“Hm” Niijima grunted. “No matter. Even if your hypothesis is true, it’s still worth investigating them. If they know how to operate similarly, they might have an inkling who’s behind the shutdowns.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Akechi relented. “Still, you are awfully focused on this.”

“Your point being?” Niijima snapped back.

Akechi smiled. “With such a one-track mind, you might not be able to see what’s going on elsewhere.”

Niijima glared at him once more. “You’re one to talk.”

“Harsh. But true” Akechi said. “Maybe it’s time we find some life preservers before we both drown in our work and insecurities.”

“Maybe,” Niijima said. She went back to clacking away on her laptop.

“Well, good night Niijima-san,” Akechi said.

“Good night Akechi,” Niijima replied. Akechi started leaving. Before he fully left, he looked over Niijima once more. He was concerned, but couldn’t do much. He left.

The next day, after school, the announcements came on. Principal Kobayakawa began speaking. “Ahem. Attention students of Shujin Academy. Please meet in the gym for an assembly.”

“I wonder what this is about?” Morgana pondered. Ren shrugged and headed over with the rest of her class.

When everyone assembled, Kobayakawa took the stage once more. “As you may know, recently one of our faculty was caught up in a scandal.” There was some muttering about this, mostly about the disingenuousness of the principal. “However, the school wishes for you to continue learning, and to continue to have the best possible education. So, while we are looking for a permanent staff member, someone has agreed to be the interim gym teacher here at Shujin Academy.” There were some more murmurs. “Please welcome, Coach Chika Hiraguchi!”

Kobayakawa moved away as Coach Hiraguchi took the stage. Students were confused, but clapped anyway. “Thank you, Principal Kobayakawa,'' she said. She turned to address the students. “I know how difficult things have been here recently. That is why I don’t expect to have your trust right away. However, I do wish that for the time I am here I can prove worthy of your trust. I look forward to working with you, and making sure your school life is as good as it can possibly be.” She bowed. “Thank you.” The students clapped. From some of the mumblings Ren heard, they seemed to be impressed with her professionalism.

Kobayakawa took the stage again. “Yes. And thank you, Coach Hiraguchi.” He faced the students. “Please make sure to help Coach Hiraguchi feel welcome. You are dismissed.”

After the assembly, the Shujin-based Thieves met up. “So, your gymnastics coach is teachin’ here now?” Ryuji asked.

Sumire nodded. “Remember that day the principal called me to meet with him. It was decided then. As long as she’s here, I can continue as an honors student with all that brings.”

“You feeling alright?” Ren asked.

“Yeah,” Sumire answered. She sighed. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s nice, but… it just feels weird. It seems more and more apparent that the world is moving without Kasumi, and that…” Sumire didn't have to finish the sentence. Ren wrapped one arm around her shoulder and pulled her in, rubbing her arm in an effort to calm her down. “Thanks. … I think I’m going to go practice with Coach today.” Ren nodded and let go. Sumire headed off.

“I should go too,” Ann said. “Shiho and I made plans for some one-on-one time today.”

“Really?” Ryuji said. “Well, I can’t complain, I guess. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” Ann said. She left to meet up with Shiho.

“I should get going too,” Ryuji said. “I’ve got something I need to do. Oh, but maybe you should buy some gym clothes.” Ren was confused. “I found a good place for a workout, now that our secret area isn’t so secret anymore.”

Ren nodded. “I’ll be sure to do that.”

“OK. Thanks” Ryuji said. “Seeya!” He rushed off. Ren decided to take Ryuji up on his offer and shopped for some workout clothes. After which, she headed to one of her jobs.

As she was wandering about Tokyo, she began to notice some things. The people, the buildings, the sounds. Ren had just moved here about two months ago, but everything changed so suddenly. To her, Tokyo was starting to feel like home. Ren smiled at that notion and continued walking with a spring in her step.

[shelby-love]

JAY HALSTEAD

“I was dumb.”

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Authors note: /

Another day at District 21. You're the first one to arrive at work. You make your way to your desk and place yourself gracefully in your chair. You let your eyes roam around the room. Nothing out of the ordinary.

You check your phone again. 8:00 A.M.

You look around the room once more. Jay's table is opposite yours. Papers, pens and different colored files are all scattered all over his table. There's a great difference between your two tables. Yours is organized, everything is color-coded, in its place. There's a framed picture of your family on top of a few books and a few souvenirs from when you were travelling. Your desk has its own touch and it radiates your energy while Jay's table... Its like a tornado struck it. Could that be because he's just a messy person or there's a deeper reason going behind that, you wouldn't know. With the rate your friendship has been growing you could say that in around 20 years or so you could be friends and then you could maybe ask him.

After 7 months of being in the unit you've been at dozen of Antonio's dinners that even his kids call you auntie Y/N now. You're practically Kim's future maid of honour. Everyone loves you. Everything should be perfect but it's not.

Because the one person who you want to love you doesn't even call you a friend.

You shake your head at your stupid brain. You hate that your heart beats faster ever time you see or think about Jay, how butterflies erupt in your belly at the given reasons. "You're an idiot Y/N."

"I didn't realise I wasn't alone," You look up and meet the most beautiful eyes. You stop breathing, you freeze and want to die on the spot. After several long seconds you finally realise that you have been staring. Staring hard. You cough awkwardly, hoping it draws his attention to your coughing and not your...staring.

"I haven't been here for long," You stand up abruptly, your nervousness taking over your actions. Once again you seriously freeze, now you're standing doing absolutely nothing instead of sitting like any other normal person would. You take two deep breaths and walk over to grab a few files. "Do you want a coffee. I was about to get one for-"

"No thanks. I'm good Y/LN," You watch as he sits behind his desk and starts reading through the files. He literally knows where he left off, he easily switches between the papers like a professional. He's ignoring you.

Or maybe he isn't.

Either way it makes you sigh sadly. With a pile of case files you make your way behind your desk. After dumping all the files onto your desk you walk away to get some coffee and get away from whatever the energy you two carried when you were near each other.

"God please give me strength."

***

You hold your gun in front of you and walk through the house. You've been partnered up and ended up going undercover with Jay. You had to pretend you were together so you can get some insides about the criminals you've been chasing. You constantly keep reminding yourself that that was all an act. A task.

But how could you possibly forget that? Jay had his hands all over you, showing off his acting skills. It felt so right to have him against you like that - an act or not. But that wasn't Jay. That was detective Halstead on a mission because if you're sure about one thing then you're sure about the fact that Jay Halstead, the man you like, wants nothing to do with you.

Slowly, you push the last door open. The room is clear but just like you did with every other room you walk in to check it thoroughly. Three steps in and someone tackles you to the ground. Your gun falls out of your hands and you sigh. Dammit.

The man on top of you is at least 4 times your size. He's a block of muscle that's covered fully and thoroughly with tattoos. He strikes for your nose but you manage to evade the punch, instead you bring your head to his and slam it as hard as you can. You ignore the literal ringing in your head and get to your feet. The man let's out a war cry and grabs your legs pulling you down, he reaches for his pocket and pulls out a small gun. You use your delicate hand and punch him square in the face, it takes him off guard but not enough to stop him from finishing his business. Instead of shooting at your chest, because of his disorientation caused by your punch he pulls the trigger out of nowhere and the bullet lands into your leg.

You hiss in pain as a sudden gush of pain jolted throughout your body. You put a hand to your leg. My gun is not too far. The man rises to his feet and looks down on you. Your stomach ached, your arms lost tension and your leg began to throb violently. He will not get the better of me, you thought as you looked at him dead in the eye. Bruised and winded, with a leg in agony, you grabbed the foot of the attacker and pulled him to the ground. You threw his gun out of his hold and brought a fist to his face, snapping his nose.

Then you hauled yourself towards your gun with the left adrenaline, and before he could reach his own gun you pulled the trigger and shot him in his right shoulder. The gruff man wasn't so scary like he was in the beginning.

He growls in agony but you ignore it and limp over to him, you grab your cuffs and turn him on his back ignoring the wincing that slips out of his mouth.

With his cuffs secured you use your upper body strength to pull him up, then you press your fingers against his bullet wound putting him in pain so he doesn't even think about running away from you. "I'm going to recite it to you okay? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time. You got that?"

By the time you finish the Miranda warning you're walking out of the door to a full police patrol. You notice your team in the middle of the commotion and pull the man with you. You truly don't know who's walking worse, you're both bleeding all over and the only thing that's keeping you from falling to the ground is the adrenaline.

Your team practically runs over to your side when they see you. Your offender must've gotten his adrenaline rush back because he turns around and uses his legs to kick you down to the ground. You hit the ground and all hell breaks loose. Everyone is yelling, screaming and arguing. You don't make out any voices as the last thing you hear is "You're going to be okay Y/N." Then you're lifted in the most comfortable pair of arms and a rock solid chest and you give up.

***

As soon as you open your eyes. Bum. Light.

You close them once again and groan. The bed you're in is awfully uncomfortable, the light is shining too brightly - you're not at home.

Your eyes shoot open.

You take everything in and connect the dots. A fancy looking hospital. You were shot.

Not the first time that happened, you shrug and look around. Your eyes spot a sleeping figure on the couch in the corner of the room and you gasp loudly. "Oh my God...oh God."

Jay Halstead. In your hospital room. With his jacket thrown over him to act as a blanket while he's sleeping.

You melt on the spot but freak out once again. "Shitshitshitshit.."

He stirrs in his spot at the words you said loudly, then something ticks inside of him and he shoots up from his sleeping position.

"Y/N??" His eyes find yours and butterflies erupt in your belly. "Thank God you're okay."

You're surprised to see him pull out a chair and bring it next to your bed. "The doctor said you should be fine... Jesus Christ I'm so happy you're okay. I was so worried."

"Yeah," You say, your voice a hit hoarse. Upon noticing that Jay immediately bolts to the corner of the room and brings you a glass of water.

"Here you go," He hands the water steadily over to you and you take it shakily, not believing what's happening.

"What are your intentions Jay?" You blurt out after you drink half the cup. You didn't mean to sound so blunt but blunt is what you need right now.

"Listen... I know we weren't on best terms during the past 7 months but-"

"We weren't on any terms."

"But, I have a good explanation for that," He says and you stare at him. Dumbfounded. He thinks I'm the devil and that's why he didn't wanna hang out with me? He takes your silence as a sign to continue.

"Y/N I like you."

"You like what??"

"With what happened with Erin I thought I don't need another relationship but I liked you from the moment I saw you," He smiles as if he's going to memory land. "You're my kinda girl and so much more. You're funny, beautiful, caring and hard working and I felt bad for ignoring you but I didn't know how to be friends with you because friends is something you and I could never be. I was dumb to let you go."

You stay silent.

"Today, when you came out and passed out in my arms I knew I shouldn't wait another day to say how I really feel about you. I want more. I don't want friendship, I want everything and you can call me selfish but-"

You cut off his rambling with a deep kiss. A one you've been imaging for ages. The taste of his lips on yours sends you and your body in overdrive. It's so much more than words can explain.

"I like you too Jay."

[bauslut]

as you are | iii.

word count: 4.077k

warnings: mentions of assault, arson, and rape, cursing, sexual tension, sexual innuendos, usage of guns, violence, allusion to suicide, slight injury, mentions of ptsd

a/n: this is chapter three in my hotch series, and i got a little carried away with this chapter (it’s because i love him, your honor) if you would like to be added to my taglist, please let me know! i hope you all enjoy :)

| i. | ii. |

(i do not own this gif)

“do you guys get along with hotch?”

morgan’s lips curled into a smug smile, “yeah, we do. why do you ask, rivers?”

“i hate that nickname,” the brunette snorted, rolling her eyes in an exasperated manner, “sorry for asking, i should’ve assumed that you all get goodnight kisses from him. to him, you guys are his little angels.”

“he’s still just getting acclimated to having you on the team,” jj placed a comforting hand on rowan’s shoulder, a reassuring smile enveloping her features, “trust me, he wasn’t the biggest fan of emily when she arrived.”

“god that was a living hell,” prentiss scoffed, typing away on her phone, “don’t even get me started on when i first started at the bau--”

the elevator whirred along, dinging as it halted to a stop. rossi took a step in, chirping a warm greeting to the group of agents, “why, good morning kiddos.”

“morning rossi,” they chorused.

“why do you look so melancholy?” rossi took a sip of his coffee, dipping his head towards rowan.

“it’s just been two months and he’s still treating me like a fucking child,” she shrugged, biting her lip, “i’m pretty sure he hates me.”

“you know what they say about hate sex,” morgan waggled a brow, “maybe you guys could resolve some of your issues that way, hmmm?”

“he’s almost fifteen years older than me,” rowan protested, yet she couldn’t help but feel her cheeks flush at morgan’s tease, “besides, he’d probably point out every single thing i do wrong the entire time. i could give him the best he’s ever had and he’d still find a flaw.”

“the best he’s ever had, huh?” a bubbly laugh erupted from prentiss, echoing through the elevator, “have you thought about this before?”

“no,” rowan shook her head, “nope.”

morgan and rossi locked eyes, sharing an all-knowing glance. rossi cleared his throat, “well, take it from the most experienced individual on this elevator: sometimes hate sex is a lot more satisfying than you initially thought.”

rowan’s mouth parted, eyes widening, “i.. i’m going to pretend that i didn’t hear a single word that came from your filthy mouth, rossi.”

“what can i say,” rossi chuckled, “i can be quite the scoundrel when it comes to the ladies.”

the elevator slowed for its final stop, the agents filing out one by one. rowan itched to jab one last quip to rossi, but held her tongue as hotch came into her field of vision, striding through the office, files in his grasp. jj flocked to her desk, waving a good morning to reid while morgan sauntered over to garcia, a wide grin plastered to his face.

trudging over to her desk, she let out a weary sigh as she slid into her seat, hand instinctively gravitating towards her temple, “shit.”

“hungover?” reid’s voice wafted into her ears, “or a different type of headache?”

“i wish i was hungover,” she muttered as she plucked a notebook from her briefcase, “reid, what are you reading now?”

“the paper,” his response was instant.

“you--” rowan blinked, “you don’t just check the websites?”

“god no,” reid flipped a page, “i tend to stay away from that kind of stuff. i also enjoy the feeling of holding it in my hands as i read.”

rowan pursed her lips, taking in the sight of reid’s disheveled locks, “did you even sleep last night?”

“and did you?” he fired back, “you look exhausted.”

“i don’t sleep much these days sadly,” rowan inhaled a sharp breath, “what kind of case do you think we’ll be called into today?”

“we haven’t had an arsonist case in a while,” he remarked, “but serial arsonists are not very common. only about fifteen to nineteen percent of arson cases have been solved every year since 1980. but my guess is it’ll probably be the same as we normally get.”

“spencer,” rowan cleared her throat, “i have a question for you. and you have to answer it honestly, okay?”

“okay,” his brow furrowed, “is there something wrong?”

“no, no,” she waved a hand, “but what i want to ask is: do you think that hotch likes me?”

reid coughed, stifling a laugh. rowan’s shoulders fell, slumping with defeat, “i’m done trying to ask you guys this simple question and not getting a clear answer.”

frustration bubbled up within her as her mind buzzed with that one single question: did aaron hotchner hate her? towards her, he was a complete asshole. yet, a part of her felt that maybe there was something within him that didn’t completely loathe her presence.

ever since her first night, when her took her home, his aura was a little more refined than it was the moment she stepped in the bau. it was more of a challenging attitude, one where he was establishing his authority rather than acting out of spite.

but his behavior since that night had shifted as well. when they were on cases, he was a bit more protective. if they were on working closely with the local police, he would always ensure that she was never left alone with an officer. he would always keep her close under his watch. however, he gave her enough space where she felt that she wasn’t on a short leash. whenever she had a headache, he was the first to offer her ibuprofen and a bottle of water.

his behavior alone sent her scrambling, mind begging to get some sort of answer.

aching to unearth what his true intentions were, and how he felt about her.

a beige blob in her peripheral caught her attention, her curiosity rising. on her desk was a clear cup, filled to the brim with iced coffee, the cubes floating around. a napkin was neatly folded underneath, soaking in the condensation that dripped down.

“reid, did you get me this?”

“nope,” intrigue crept over his features, replacing the laughter from moments ago, “did you not bring it?”

“does someone normally buy coffee? like an intern or something?” rowan brought the straw to her lips, taking a sip.

the taste was sweet, laced with hints of caramel and cream, “it’s just how i like it too.”

“typically everyone who drinks coffee just grabs it on their way here or just uses the machine,” reid remarked, folding his arms across his chest, “i was the third one here, after hotch and garcia. morgan, jj, prentiss, and rossi were all on the elevator with you.”

“i can always ask garcia about it later,” rowan mumbled, “whoever bought me it, i appreciate it. i needed a pick-me-up.”

“maybe it was hotch,” reid swallowed thickly, “i mean, garcia always uses one of her mugs. hotch was probably the first one here.”

her heart skipped a beat, thudding, “reid, i adore you, but i think that you’re acting on a whim here. he despises my presence. he barely lets me speak. when i correct him, he dismisses every single word.”

“maybe it’s reconciliation. maybe he feels bad for the way he’s been treating you. i mean, i’m not going to just sit here and say that i haven’t noticed his attitude towards you. but you are our newest recruit, and it was a different time when i first started. that’s when gideon was still with the bau.”

“i’ll ask garcia about it first,” rowan swirled the straw in the cup absentmindedly, “or i just could go pester him about it now.”

“now would be your time to go do it. cases are light today, mainly a lot of digging through the cold ones. hotch asked if i could listen through some tapes, so you’re welcome to join me.”

“you better be ready to share some comforting words when i’m back,” rowan’s voice lowered as she rose in her seat, smoothing out her sweater, “he might yell at me.”

reid’s eyes met with rowan’s, the hazel glittering with amusement, ���i don’t think he’s going to yell at you for asking a simple question.”

“it wouldn’t be the first time,” she grumbled under her breath, inspecting the logo on the cup, “first, i’m going to have garcia run this address for me, so i can have some sort of sense of where the coffee shop is located.”

“good luck,” reid beamed, giving rowan a thumbs up.

confusion settled over the agent as she made her way to garcia’s office, her mind a torrent of  theories and queries. the name of the shop was unfamiliar to her, so it had to have been penelope or hotch. a part of her hoped that it was penelope and not hotch, as only god knew the reasoning on why he would have bought a coffee for her.

bringing her knuckle to the door, she knocked softly, ensuring that she heard garcia’s bright and bubbly voice before she entered.

the technical analyst was a flurry of hands and fingers, typing away. her blonde locks bobbed as she nodded along, humming a tune, “good morning roooooooo! i would love to chat but hotch has got me operating like twenty different things at once here.”

“i just need a second,” rowan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “did you buy me this coffee this morning or am i just going insane?”

garcia spun around instantaneously, her lipstick a vibrant burgundy hue, “i-i didn’t buy you that.”

“then who did?”

“i have a premonition on who but i think we both don’t want to say it,” she clasped her hands together.

“are you fucking serious?” rowan’s throat tightened, “he hates me, penelope.”

“you can’t be so sure of that,” her lip quivered, “hotch is just a little rough on the edges, but deep down i know he doesn’t harbor negative inklings towards a single soul on this team. did you want me to run the address?”

“yeah,” rowan handed the cup to penelope, “i cannot believe this shit.”

“i think he likes you,” garcia swiveled, facing the array of screens once more, “maybe it’s one of those ‘i act like i hate you but really i am so deeply in love with you’ sort of thing. have you ever read a slow burn novel?”

“no.”

“they’re all over the internet. you can create a wattpad account in seconds and have thousands of slow burn novels in your fingertips in the blink of an eye. let me know if you make one and i’ll send you some recommendations,” keys clicked as garcia typed, “by the way, the coffee shop is about fifteen minutes away from hotch’s house.”

“great,” rowan muttered, “fucking great.”

“and from the yelp reviews, it says here that your regular iced coffee takes about five minutes. he waited for it too. i think our supervisor has a little cruuusssshhhhhh.”

“i hate you,” rowan exhaled, rubbing her temple.

“no you don’t,” the coffee returned to rowan’s hand, “now, i love your company buttercup but i got some work to do.”

“good luck.”

“and good luck with your newfound romance,” garcia sang as the door slammed shut.

coffee in hand, rowan huffed as she marched over to his office. at the door, she paused momentarily, fingers curling around the knob, slowly pushing open the door.

he was sitting at his desk, leaning over a stack of paperwork, a few strands of hair falling onto his forehead. his brow was furrowed in concentration, tongue swiping along his lower lip as his gaze scanned the text before him.

for a second, her heart skipped a beat as she peered at him. his concentration was quite attractive, all of his attention devoted to the task at hand, pen in his grip. the utensil was tiny in his hand, almost like a toothpick. she blinked, chewing on the inside of her lip.

taking a step forward, she cleared her throat, signaling her presence in the room.

“agent hotchner i think you’ve been exhibiting some intriguing behavior lately.”

“it’s supervisor to you,” his voice was monotone as he shuffled through papers, marking and scribbling with his pen, “and you need to learn how to fucking knock.”

rowan bit back a sharp retort, her temper flaring, “anyways, this morning i noticed that there was an iced coffee sitting on my desk. i had garcia run the address of the coffee shop from your house and it’s an extra fifteen minutes. not even including the time you would’ve had to wait. are you trying to reconcile with me or something? are you flirting with your agents now?”

“you mentioned you liked iced coffee and i listened. i’ve been trying to make you feel more welcome and acclimated to the bau. nothing more to it,” his focus didn’t crack one bit, his gaze locked on his desk.

“you listened to me?”

“i am aware it’s quite the shock considering half the time i have to block you out because you’re annoying,” he snorted, plucking a stack in his hands.

“so you have emotions?”

his head snapped up, the color of his eyes nearly black in the dim light, hardened with annoyance, “so are you going to stand in my office and run that pretty little mouth or actually be of use and help reid with listening to those tapes?”

“p-pretty little--” rowan’s jaw nearly fell to the floor, blush spreading through her cheeks.

“out.” that was his only response, the tone firm.

rowan scampered out of his office, quickly shutting the door. her heart raced, skin heated and flushed, the coffee nearly slipping out of her hand. shuffling over to her desk, she nearly collapsed into her chair, eyes still wide, mouth agape.

aaron hotchner, the stoic, icy cold, and unforgiving supervisor for the bau, bought her a coffee just because he wanted to. not for anyone else on the team. for her.

aaron hotchner, supervisory special agent, her boss, uttered the words “pretty little mouth.”

“you all right?” reid prodded, “how did it go? did you figure out who bought you the coffee? why did you go into hotch’s office?”

“it’s nothing,” her voice faltered, “it was nothing important. i guess someone on the other side of the bullpen got an extra on accident and just placed it on someone’s desk.”

“all right then,” reid shrugged, “i think jj is at her desk now on the phone. in a matter of minutes we’ll have our next case.”

“are you ready?” rowan shifted in her chair, beginning to gather her things.

“i am, but the question is, will you be ready? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“i’ll be fine,” rowan answered, “i’ll be okay, promise.”

however, as hotch stepped out of his office, rowan swallowed thickly, her knee bouncing as her eyes involuntarily followed his movement as he strode over to jj, the pair exchanging hushed words.

inhaling a deep breath, she wondered if the lie that tumbled from her mouth sounded just as genuine as it did in her head. and if reid even noticed the shift in her aura. how she was quick to shoot down any of his inquisition about the encounter that took place minutes ago.

from the concern that lingered in his hazel depths as he ogled her, rowan knew that he didn’t believe a single word she said.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

“morgan, rossi, prentiss,” the command was clear, ringing through the yard, “infiltrate the home from the back. jj and reid, hang low with the other officers unless one of us calls. rivers, you’re with me. the marshall p.d. will be flanking the entire perimeter. the county and state police are blocking all entrances and exits to town in case something goes awry.”

“good luck,” prentiss nudged rowan, “you’re going to need it.”

“shut up,” she grumbled, readjusting her vest, “i hope i get a clear shot of this motherfucker.”

“not unless hotch gets the opportunity,” rossi chuckled, inserting an earpiece, “be careful though, rivers. he’s devolving. who knows what this guy is capable of.”

“rivers we don’t have time for chit-chat. let’s go.”

“sorry, but it appears my supervisor is asking for me,” she stuck out a hand, glaring over at hotch, “i’m coming, jesus christ.”

rossi and prentiss giggled as rowan stormed over to hotch, folding her arms across her chest, “you called for me?”

“you’re wasting valuable time to apprehend our unsub,”  he scolded, “let’s go. i’ll take the lead.”

“you’re absolutely insufferable, you know that?”

“well obviously you’ve tolerated how i run things for the past two months,” hotch began to move towards the house, glock held securely to his grasp, “i’m sure you’ll continue to tolerate it.”

“while we’re together for the time being, are we not going to talk about what happened in your office?” her voice was quiet, barely a whisper as they inched closer and closer to the porch, only a few dozen feet away now.

“is now really the time?” he growled, “shut your mouth. i don’t want to hear another word until we have our unsub in the back of a cop car.”

the assertiveness oozing from his words sent a shiver down her spine, goosebumps littering her arms as hotch held out a fist, lowering his glock. with one swift motion, he kicked open the door, surging into the home.

the unsub stood in the living room, poised and armed, ready to fire.

“fbi! drop your weapon!” rowan snarled, aiming her own gun at the unsub.

the next few seconds were nothing but darkness, a gunshot blast blinding, the sound piercing through the night. a flurry of voices filled rowan’s right ear, yet the only noise she could distinguish was the shrill ringing. stumbling back, her hands reached for her head, clutching it as the pain seared through her skull, consuming it like wildfire.

“rowan!” a voice shouted, “rowan! are you okay?”

chest heaving, she scrambled to her feet, two strong hands clutching onto her arm, pulling her up, “rowan, are you okay?”

blinking, she shook her head, hotch’s hands on her forearm, panting slightly, “where’s the unsub?”

“he shot himself,” hotch murmured, his voice muffled by the ringing, “you were pretty close, a lot closer than me. you didn’t get hurt, did you? don’t look over there, whatever you do.”

“why can’t i--” her head began to shift, but a hand cupped her cheek, blocking the action.

“rowan, you don’t want to. he used a shotgun.”

“oh.”

tears brimmed her lids, lip quivering as hotch’s hand rested on her cheek, nothing but concern glimmering in the chestnut depths, “rowan, i asked you a question. are you hurt?”

“my head is pounding and i can barely hear you.”

“the pain will subside within the hour. let’s hope there was no damage to your eardrums. the emts will check you out,” his touch was tender as he led her out of the house, taking slow and cautious steps, “can you walk?”

“i can walk.”

“here, use my elbow if you need it,” he stated, “you’re probably just in shock. you’ll be okay, rowan.”

rowan clung onto his elbow, gritting her teeth as they made their way through the front yard, towards the ambulance. hotch murmured a few words to the emt before departing, reuniting with the rest of the team.

after being cleared by the medic, the rest of the evening blurred together, the bau speaking with the local p.d., giving final notes and briefings. the team also stopped by a local diner, splitting to two tables. rowan sat with reid, morgan, and jj, while prentiss, rossi, and hotch were at another.

throughout dinner, rowan couldn’t help but feel his stare burning into her, how he was analyzing her every move. and every single time their eyes locked, the words resurfaced in her memory, mind racing, desperate to get a read on how he felt about her.

soon, the team was finished, hotch picking up the bill. from there it was the drive to the airport, then the long ride home. part of rowan was dreading that flight back home, as it was only more opportunity for interactions with hotch.

once everyone boarded, they promptly fell asleep one by one, grateful for the few hours of rest. hotch was perched in a seat next to her, thumbing through some final paperwork, reid passed out on one end of the couch, morgan on the other. the rest were in scattered seats, blankets or coats draped over their bodies.

it was about half an hour before he spoke.

“can’t sleep?” he queried, voice lowered, careful not to wake the others.

“no,” rowan let out a weary sigh, “not at all.”

“you looked at him, didn’t you?”

“no,” the agent yawned, laying her head against the leather, “i’m afraid i have other nightmares haunting my dreams.”

“come here,” hotch patted his lap, “it’s probably no help that your head hurts either. you know, you’re not too good at masking your headaches. i can practically see the pain twisted in your face. plus, you bring your hand to your temple every five minutes or so.”

“y-you don’t have to--” rowan stammered, the heat in her cheeks rising as hotch peered at her expectantly, hands still resting on his thighs.

“rowan,” her name was so utterly soft as it fell from his mouth, “you need some sleep.”

her heart thudding, she shifted in her seat, wrapping an arm around his thigh, nuzzling her head into the fabric of his slacks. once she was situated, fingers began to run through her hair, lulling her to sleep. the other hand was on her back over her sweater, rubbing soothing circles.

underneath his touch, rowan nearly melted.

it was one unlike anything she had ever experienced. a gentle, soothing, tender touch. one brimmed with care. as if he was handling the most important thing to him.

as if she was his lover.

lashes fluttering, her breathing slowed as a soft tune filled her ears, “are you singing me a lullaby? i’m not jack hotchner, aaron.”

“i know you’re not, but you need to sleep,” he paused, “jack always tends to drift off when i sing a lullaby.”

“keep this up and i might start crushing on you, aaron.”

“i think you already have,” he chuckled, hand drifting to the small of her back, continuing to massage.

bliss rippled at the sound of his laugh, her heart swelling. it was the first time in her two months with the bau that she had ever heard his laugh. sure, she happened to catch a chuckle or a huff. but this was a stark contrast to the others.

it was a genuine laugh. a hearty, authentic, laugh.

“i don’t think so,” rowan protested, a pout forming on her lips.

“i’m not debating this with you tonight,” her breath hitched in her throat as she felt his lips hover above her temple, “by the way, someone informed me that you are under the assumption that i kiss all of the team goodnight.”

“i--”

plush, smooth lips grazed her skin, “get some rest ro, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“goodnight, aaron.”

at the sound of his name, he softened for just a moment, yearning to lean over and give her one last kiss.

as she fell asleep on his lap, her cheek dusted a rosy tint, her lips parted slightly, strands of hair falling into her face, aaron hotchner’s heart nearly burst. god, she was so annoying at times: always seizing the opportunity to butt heads, always defying his orders, always finding some way to push his buttons.

but god, did any of that residing fury or annoyance completely crumble as she dozed off, peaceful and content on his thigh, the sight so pure and wonderful. sure, maybe this was just a workplace crush, one where he knew it nothing would ever come of it.

yet, there was this nagging feeling deep down, gnawing away at him, that this was maybe just a little more than that.

just maybe it was the start of something new for aaron hotchner. a new chapter of his life, one promising nothing but bliss. one where there would be no tension. no screaming. no tears. no fighting. no divorce.

but aaron hotchner hated the maybes. he despised the risks that would come from this. the sneaking around. the potential arguments. the endless possibilities of tomorrow. however, this was a maybe worth chasing.

and he was more than willing to chase that maybe.

as long as she was that maybe.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

tagged: @sapphicstars​​ @colorlessfl0wers​

[mst3kproject]

Bog

Imagine Creature from the Black Lagoon but made by the creative (for lack of a better word) team behind The Giant Spider Invasion.  That’s Bog.

Bog Lake is the type of little nowhere town that looks as if it ought to have a local cryptid, like the Flatwoods Monster or Mothman… and sure enough, tourists who come to fish in the lake are getting drained of blood by some creature with a chitinous proboscis!  The police are baffled, the locals are buying guns, and the coroner straightfacedly suggests it might be Count Dracula.  The only person who seems to really know what’s going on is The Old Hag of the Woods, and she claims that the swamp monster is some kind of ancient god.  Once awakened, it must feed on blood before it can return to the slime at the bottom of the lake and sleep for centuries more.  At this point, the viewer is probably expecting something like the Giant Leeches crossed with Cthulhu, but the truth manages to be even cheaper than a Corman film and, unfortunately, infinitely rape-ier.

Why does this movie remind me so much of the works of Bill Rebane?  The main reason is probably the 70s soft focus and the midwestern accents, but there are quite a few points that spark specific memories of The Giant Spider Invasion.  The movie’s heroes are two people in at least their forties, in which the woman is a more qualified scientist than the man.  The married couples we see are totally dysfunctional and dissolving in booze. A shotgun-wielding mob forms and chases the monster towards the instruments of its demise.  There’s even a middle school chemistry classroom that stands in for a laboratory (I particularly enjoyed the fact that this, which presumably represents a room in the town morgue, has a map of the moon on one wall) and science that starts out grounded in reality but then dives headfirst into bullshit while hollering “cowabunga!”

On the other pedipalp, there are also ways in which Bog is notably better than The Giant Spider Invasion, most of which have to do with the characters.  Admittedly, these do not get off to a good start.  The first people we can really be said to meet are two assholes who have come for the camping and fishing, and their wives who have come to complain.  The couples clearly hate each other and we can’t imagine why they ever got together in the first place, and each individual is kind of an idiot.  I won’t complain too much, though, because the crabby wives get eaten almost right away and the asshole husbands fulfill their plot function by bringing it to the attention of the authorities and then follow their spouses out of the movie.  Good riddance.

The real characters are the Sheriff, Ginny the Coroner, and Brad the Doctor.  None of them are exactly likable but they come across as the sort of very ordinary people you’d probably meet in your day-to-day life and while they’re not your close friends, you don’t dislike them.  Ginny is of an appropriate age for her position of authority, and her colleagues treat her with the respect she is due.  Her romance with Brad is clearly something that’s been going on for a while now and doesn’t suddenly develop over the course of a weekend, and the two of them are close in age.  All three of these characters behave in a professional manner and seem to have good working relationships, which is a breath of fresh air.  Far too many movies try to insert unnecessary drama by having characters who hate each other for no reason.

The best of the three is actually the Sheriff, who is one of a very few small-town movie sheriffs who actually seems to take his job seriously.  Aldo Ray used to be a real actor, and you can tell – he plays the Sheriff a with nice everyman quality and a great deal of integrity.  This unfortunately makes it all the more puzzling when the character suddenly runs off to fight the monster with fisticuffs and gets killed for it. Brad says it was in the Sheriff’s nature to do this but it doesn’t seem to match the sensible and down-to-earth characters we’ve seen so far.

I got the impression, actually, that the Sheriff was what was keeping the movie sane because after he dies it starts getting weird.  Ginny does some scientific tests that consist mostly of pouring coloured liquids into Erlenmeyer flasks, and determines that the monster is made of cancer and molybdenum. If either of these facts have any effect on the plot I missed it, although I did imagine Crow deciding the monster was his long-lost relative.  Then we get into how it reproduces and things go right off the deep end.

You see, there’s only one of these monsters, and it’s a boy.  Fauxilla got around this through hermaphroditism, but the monster from Bog prefers the Humanoids from the Deep route.  If you’re lucky enough not to have seen Humanoids from the Deep, its fish monsters have decided they need human genes to speed up their evolution.  The monster in Bog does kind of the opposite, devolving humans to make them compatible with itself.  It does this by injecting a dose of its own blood into the victim and the result is a huge clutch of transparent spawn that Ginny describes as ‘not really a seed, not really an egg’, whatever that means.

This, we later learn, is how the Swamp Hag knows so much about the creature – she’s apparently been its mate for hundreds of years! She dies attempting to warn the monster that it’s walking into a trap, which leads Brad and an ichthyologist to conclude that one effect of this infusion of monster hormones is that ‘the victim becomes willing’.  That is icky and I hope it doesn’t reflect the writers’ feelings about real-life situations of sexual assault.  The idea is intended to add urgency to the need to rescue Ginny from the creature.

Creature from the Black Lagoon never did give a reason why the titular monster was interested in kidnapping human women.  It was obvious enough that the Creature was supposed to be a sexual threat, but its quest was clearly doomed and it was not apparent why the women were attractive to it.  Humanoids from the Deep appears to have arisen from the brain of somebody who spent way too much time thinking about these questions and trying to come up with answers to them.  Bog decided its monster simply didn’t have any choice – there aren’t any other bipedal things around for it to mate with.  What neither of these movies realize is that the questions didn’t need answers to begin with.

There are things movies need to be explicit about, and slimy swamp creatures raping women is not one of those.  A lot of times, horror works better when the details are left to the viewer’s imagination, and the fact that Creature from the Black Lagoon doesn’t understand that it cannot get what it wants from its captives actually makes it worse. The writers of Saturn 3 did something similar with Hector the robot’s crush on Alex and while Saturn 3 was not a good movie overall, that aspect worked fine.  Going into the details just gives the audience an opportunity to think about how stupid it is.

It is worth noting that neither Creature from the Black Lagoon nor Saturn 3 felt a need to use the words the victim becomes willing, either.

The monster’s silhouette resembles a man in a fish costume he probably bought on Amazon, and it sounds like it doesn’t want to get up in the morning. I suspect that hidden in the poor lighting is something that would be a shitty movie monster classic on the order of The Giant Claw or the spidermobile from The Giant Spider Invasion, if only we could see it.  There are very few things I enjoy more than movies that are loud and proud of their abysmally cheap monsters, but sadly Bog doesn’t want to show off.

This is doubly a shame because a lot of this movie just drags. The bit with the scuba divers takes way too long for the payoff it gets.  Brad and Ginny’s makeout scene lasts way after we’ve gotten the point, whether or not it bothers you that the people doing the kissing are middle-aged. And anything with the two fishermen and their wives is not only slow, but annoying.  The movie is at its Giant-Spider-Invasion-est here, when everybody on screen is a repulsive caricature of a human being and you can’t wait for them to die.

There may be a slight 70’s Nature’s Revenge angle to this film, in that the monster is apparently awakened by some idiot fishing with dynamite, but Black Lagoon is evidently the primary inspiration.  Unfortunately, all the things that made that movie enjoyable are missing here.  The monster doesn’t look particularly realistic or well-adapted to its environment. Attempts at suspense are just boring and the movie is unnecessarily explicit about things that should remain implied. Bog is not a complete write-off as bad monster movies go, but it’s not all that great either.

[d-l-landcaslil]

My opinion on why is Endeavor’s redemption arc valid

I’ve been thinking about writing something like this for a while, but somehow I never did. But now I’m just going to ramble to cope with the anxiety the latest chapter gave me hhhh

So a lot of Endeavor stans get the question, why don’t we hate him, and I think this is a valid question (as long as you don’t attack us immediately and assume that we support all the wrong thing he’s done!). And I’m not here to convince anyone to like Endeavor. You can hate him, he deserved it. Just please don’t wish for his death in the current arc of the manga because if that happens everyone is fucked you don’t want that and also it hurts This for those who actually ask this question because they’re interested in the answer.

So here’s the thing. First of all I think he’s an amazing hero. Let’s not forget that he has the most solved cases ever, which means even more than All Might! He saved thousands of people. And his skills are just hella amazing, he is competent in almost all types of combat, and while AM gains his physical strength from his quirk, Enji’s quirk itself doesn’t provide it, it probably took him a lot of heavy training to get there. Sidenote for this he is hot af and can step on me any day and I’ll thank him.   Of course his heroic actions are no excuse for the abuse he did, but in my opinion the abuse he did does not diminish his merits as hero either. I admit this is arguable, but these are my views even on irl people of similar kind. 

So yes, I admit, as a person, he is extremely problematic, he abused his family, and it’s not something to be overlooked. But also his character is amazingly written. I think his backstory is one of those elements in the story, that tries to bring attention to the problems with the hero society. And boi, there’s a lot to unpack there. Firstly, what he represents is sadly common in real life too: that people (especially men) serving at the police, in the army, etc are abusing their power this way and getting away with it because of their rank. But not only this. This leads to even more complex problems within the entire hero community. And this is the rivalry between heroes and the toxic masculinity in the hero community. Now I’m not the one to quickly agree with Stain, because I’m fed up with the cliché of heroes having to be fully selfless (it’s their job and they need to eat and pay rent bruh) and that the whole system is corrupt BUT the fact that the hero ranking exists and forces the heroes to compete with each other is so wrong on so many levels. And of course there are certain heroes who can actually let this go and only focus on the job itself (e.g. Hawks), but there is a lot of pressure on everyone and not all of them can escape it. Don’t tell me it’s normal that Kiri had an inferiority complex for years bc he was too scared to attack a villain three times his size in 4th grade of middle school

And I think a lot depends on the family background. Notice, how the students/heroes who are not coming from a hero family or a family that expected the to become heroes (Deku, Uraraka, etc.) are way more chill about the whole thing, because they parents are proud of them af whatever little heroic thing they do. When it comes to Enji, we don’t know anything about his parents/family background but I have a really strong feeling that he was pressured into the marriage with Rei and into always being the best. Here’s why. We know that Fuyumi is 23 and there’s ~three years between the kids (bc that’s when the quirks appear) so Toya is probably 26. Enji is 46, so he was 20 when they had Toya. So he got married even before he became 20. Now don’t tell me a 19-20 yo young man, who has just graduated from UA (probably with flying colors) and already aims to be nr1 would decide to get married and have kids - even if he’s madly in love, nevermind out of convenience. (And even if he was in love with Rei /but he wasn’t/ and wanted to marry her, any descent parents would have stopped him.) Yes, he probably agreed, because he felt like that preserving and passing down his quirk is important, and that he himself is not enough to be the best and he needs a descendant who can do the job for the family reputation if he fails. Of course it’s all just assumption but DON’T TELL ME THAT THIS ALL WOULD HAVE HAPPENED if he just had A SUPPORTIVE FAMILY TO TELL HIM THAT HE IS A GREAT HERO AS HE IS AND HE DOESN’T NEED TO COMPARE HIMSELF TO OTHERS. NO, THEY DIDN’T TELL HIM THAT. Instead they used their money and power to arrange a quirk-marriage and set him up to be a husband and father while still struggling to become nr1. Now add this to Enji’s inherently grumpy, quick, aggressive temper, take away from him the chance to properly socialize with ppl of his age - and you get the textbook abusive man who brought the bad patterns from the family, added his own frustration and took it all out on his family he never really wanted. He might be an inherently bad tempered person. But no-one is born the way he is now. He could have unlearned a lot of it if the expectations of the hero society hadn’t fucked him up at a young age.

But he did what he did and there’s no excuse for that so let’s see why his redemption is still valid in my opinion. Also it’s more explicit manga spoilers from here (basically he talks about his future plans for his fam in the manga and I’m going to talk about it in detail). 

So what many abusers would probably do is to start acting kindly and try to win back their partner/family by promising to change again and again. But Endeavor doesn’t do that. Not only is he willing to stay away from them, but it’s him who stays in their old house and he’s planning to build a whole new house where the kids and Rei, who he wants to get out of the hospital he put her into (!) can live. without him. I had someone who told me they think he wants to be reunited later and he just gives them time but there’s no proof of this and it’s still not that bad. So yes, he admits that him staying away from them is the solution AND he uses his money and power to fix the situation as much as he can. Of course there are a lot of things he can never fix and my stomach still clutches when I watch his past in se2 but HE HAS LEARNED THE LESSON, HE ADMITTED HE FUCKED UP AND HE’S WORKING TO FIX IT AS MUCH AS HE CAN. And I can’t help to cheer for him to able to do that, because that’s the only outcome that’s good for everyone. 

Besides that, the scene where he tells Shoto he will do everything to make him proud and be the hero he can look up to always makes me cry  shows how he admits his mistakes too. He takes the things he said to Shoto, the expectations he raised towards him and admits that he himself haven’t fulfilled those expectations, so he needs to do that in order for Shoto to accept him. So he basically reversed the roles, he reversed the order of power, and he applies what he abused Shoto with to himself, but this time in a non-toxic way. Also, in the Endeavor agency arc we already see how he has a different attitude towards Shoto as his student. One more thing: you can see in that scene and also several times in the manga how he feels like shit when the kids are ignoring or confronting him. And even I think he deserves all of it, BUT this again proves THAT HE. HAS. LEARNED. HIS. LESSON. Yes, he was extremely abusive. No, it cannot be forgiven. But he basically admitted that he was one, got out of the life of those who were affected, tries to change and supports them from the distance. That’s the best he can still to in this fucked up situation. 

And as I witnessed his journey so far, I couldn’t help to start liking him. I cheer for him, I hope he can really change, I’m always excited to see him in action, and I’m really worried about him in the current situation. I think there’s way more potential in him than it was shown in the beginning. I hated him first too. But somehow he became my favorite pro hero and one of my favorite characters overall. 

This is the answer. If you read all this rambling you deserve a medal. 

A closing thought: I think it’s understandable that everyone reacts to Endeavor differently. He is the type of character who divides even the canon characters nevermind the fandom. It’s really interesting to see how all his kids react to him differently, and how they basically represent types of the ppl’s attitudes in the fandom. I realized I’m the Fuyumi type. But of course all are valid. But Dabi types please please let us mourn in peace if the thing happens QwQ 

[themuzzleofnemesis]

3–Memory of the Four Seasons; Scene 12

The Muzzle of Nemesis, pages 138-147

--It was still snowing.

I continued to watch it through the gaps in the cherry blossom tree’s branches, laying on my back on the ground.

“You’ll catch a cold sleeping in a place like that,” someone said to me, and I gradually sat up.

I had hoped that was Shakuson’s voice, but naturally it wouldn’t be.

It was a man wearing glasses…Someone I had never seen before.

“Are you looking for someone?” he asked me.

I honestly replied, “…Shakuson. My boyfriend.”

His corpse was nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he survived—

But that fragile hope was immediately dashed by the man before me.

“If you mean his dead body, I put it back in his room. I couldn’t have someone finding it, after all. I’d just gotten back to carry you away too. And then you woke up.”

I didn’t cry again. I had cried so much that my tears had already dried up.

More than that, several questions were welling up inside my mind.

First—who was this man?

This man who was so calm despite knowing that I had killed Shakuson.

And another one…How was I alive?

I put a hand on my temple where I had shot myself.

“…Ow.”

There was definitely a wound there.

But it wasn’t bleeding.

…What in the world…

The man reached out a hand in response to my confusion.

“I’m sure you have questions for me…But first let’s get back to your room. There fortunately isn’t anyone else around, but—it’s very likely that someone heard the gunshots. It’s best we get away from here before the police run up.”

After saying that, he grabbed my arm and tugged me up to my feet.

.

It was only once we had returned to my room that I truly felt that I was in neither heaven nor hell, but the living world.

“Well then…Shall I now answer your questions, Nemesis?”

The man sat down and lounged on the sofa as though this were his room.

“If you know my real name, then…You must be from the organization after all.”

“Sadly, that is incorrect. I have nothing to do with Pere Noel, PN, or the Dark Star Bureau. However—I have been watching over you up to now.”

“You’ve been spying on me?”

“What an awful way to put it. Didn’t I just tell you I’m not related to the organization?”

“Then just who are you!?” I pressed the man.

“…Hm. Rather than explaining with words—Perhaps it would be faster to show you.”

Directly after he said that—

His body rapidly began to emit light.

“--!?”

I instinctively closed my eyes against its brilliance.

“…”

When I opened them again a short while later, the man was no longer there.

--Or rather, he had changed into a different creature.

“This is…it can’t be…”

It was a single blue octopus.

“…Are you Mr. Ziz?”

And then I heard a voice speak directly into my mind.

It wasn’t the “other me” I would usually hear. It belonged to the same man as before.

<This form has its share of difficulties. I can’t directly converse with you like I was doing just now. So that’s why I have to speak to you in your mind like this>

“Mr. Ziz…you survived.”

<Indeed. That old sorcerer got me good. A normal octopus would have undoubtedly frozen to death if made to suffer such nonsense as being frozen inside a lake. I managed to pull through, but it took a great deal of time for me to recover to how I had been before>

Mr. Ziz’ body once more began to glow.

And then he returned to his form of the bespectacled man.

“—Right. Yes, this one is better for talking.”

“Is that…your true form?”

So Mr. Ziz’ true identity hadn’t been an octopus, but a human—

But he shook his head. “No. My true form is neither an octopus nor is it a human being.”

And then he changed shape again.

This time—he was a small, golden key.

<This is my true form>

“A key…So you aren’t even a living thing?”

<The name of this key is “Grim the End”. In the ancient era two people called the “Twins of God” unleased into the world seven vessels with demons inside—this is one of them. From time to time Grim the End will change its shape into various forms. A knife, poison…sometimes even an octopus or a person. However, as it’s really an inorganic substance, it has no will of its own>

“…Then that means you talking to me right now are—”

<A demon dwelling inside one of those seven vessels—popularly called a “Vessel of Deadly Sin”. In other words, I am--> He once more changed from key to human. “—The ‘Demon of Wrath’ who resides in Grim the End. Demons have no physical bodies in the living world. And on the other hand, vessels have no will. When you join the two together—I can become a conscious person like this.”

--If I hadn’t had any talent in magic, and if I hadn’t heard the voice of the “will of the forest”, I wouldn’t have been able to believe what he was telling me at all.

But since “magic” and the “will of the forest” truly existed—then there was nothing unusual about there being “demons” in the world.

“Mr. Ziz—My mother was the one who gave you to me. …So then, was this all by her instigation?”

“No, she didn’t know my true identity. She had bought me at the marketplace thinking I was a simple octopus. –Though it is because I knew that she was looking to buy a pet octopus for her daughter that I infiltrated that market.”

“Why would you go to all that trouble to—”

“Let’s just say that I was ordered to by a certain someone—I’ll reiterate to be clear, but I have no connection to that organization. A demon can’t be ordered around by the likes of a normal human being, now can they?”

“…”

There are beings in this world that would try to protect me, that I cannot see—that was what the “will of the forest” had told me.

Mr. Ziz put a hand on my shoulder, and grinned at me.

“Well, I hope we can work well together from here on out. Though you may know my true identity now, there’s no need to go recklessly worshipping me or anything like that. You can treat me as you did before this point.”

“I’ve no intention of sinking so low that I start worshipping a demon.”

“Is that right? I’d still appreciate at least a little gratitude. It’s thanks to me—that you wound up not dying, after all.”

Yes—there was that.

How I was alive, despite having been shot in the head?

“You mean this is by the power of a demon?” I asked him, pointing to the wound on my temple.

“Not a power so much as—it might be better to call it a ‘Rule’ established by the gods. ‘Those who have contracted with a demon can only be killed by another contractor’…So it goes. By all rights you can’t commit suicide. Though well, it’s a different matter if your physical body were to be completely erased from this world.”

“I have no memory of contracting with a demon.”

“—That Christmas night when I first went to your house…Didn’t you have a dream?”

“A dream? …It was so long ago I’ve already forgotten.”

“That night, I spoke to you in your dream. I asked you to ‘become friends with me’. And you agreed.”

“…That’s a ‘contract’!? What nonsense!”

“Whatever you think, that night a contract was established.”

“A contract! But not a valid one!” I yelled.

Mr. Zis sighed regretfully. “If you really insist then I’ll respect your wishes. But—don’t you still need my power yet?”

“…I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“Then let me ask you this. What do you intend to do now?”

“—I…wanted to die. Along with Shakuson. I would probably just try to do so again.”

“Are you really fine with that? Living while set adrift by the people around you only to helplessly give up and run away from this world—If you died now, that would be the sum total of your life. Isn’t that wretched? Don’t you have any regrets!”

Mr. Ziz raised his voice.

Were his words the whisperings of a demon?

Or—the advice of a friend?

“I don’t know…What I should…do…”

“Nemesis…The weak you is the one who died just now. From this moment on will be your true life.”

“…”

“You don’t have to come to a conclusion right away. What you do now is up to you.”

Mr. Ziz once more began to glow.

I closed my eyes, and when I had opened them again—

There was a single mask…and a single golden bullet.

“…What’s this?”

<This mask form is the closest to my proper self. Being an octopus or a human’s not too bad, but this is more comfortable. And that bullet—It’s a fragment of Grim the End that has been divided off>

“So you can do that…”

<Since you have skill in handling a gun, I’ll give you this bullet as a present. You are free to choose whether you shoot it at someone or not>

“A demon…bullet.”

<Shoot it at those who you think to be the most “evil” to you. You will always kill them, no matter what kind of person they are. –Even if this person is a “demon contractor”>

“…But if what you’re saying is true, then aren’t I already a ‘demon contractor’? And so I should be able to kill other contractors even without using this bullet, right?”

<Naturally. But in that case, you and your foe would be on equal footing. There’s a chance you would have the tables turned on you. This is a “power” that helps avert that. A power separate from the “Demon of Wrath”, one that exists inside Grim the End itself>

In other words, by obtaining both the power of the “demon” and the “vessel” together, I had an advantage over other contractors.

A bullet that could kill a demon contractor—

“If…I were to shoot this at myself, what would happen?”

<Your body would be destroyed. Earlier I said you couldn’t commit suicide, but in the event that you’re using Grim the End that’s an exception. It’s a vessel that specializes in killing demons, after all>

“…”

<Grim the End has no will. But it is “alive”. That’s why it’s able to take on the shape of living creatures. In that sense you could say that Grim the End is a unique type of “contractor”>

“And another ‘contractor’ would be able to kill me…I see.”

<I pray that you will not use it on yourself. I’m being earnest>

“I got it…Thank you. I’ll—think about it a little.”

I picked up the mask and the bullet, and set them down on the desk.

--Frankly there was so much to process that I couldn’t keep it straight in my mind.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[voltage-vixen]

MC Gifting the Evolvers Chocolate

Valentine’s Day Countdown--- Day 3

AO3

Prologue: After a spending a LONG night baking the perfect chocolate hearts to celebrate Valentine’s Day, MC is finally ready to share them with her boyfriend.

However, she was bummed to later find out that her guy was stuck at work. Nevertheless, she was more determined than ever to share her tasty treats with her guy, so she decided to pay him a quick visit on the job.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Victor: MC knocked on the door to Victor’s office, and cautiously trudged inside when she didn’t hear any response.

“Victor?”

She approached his desk and tried to take a quick peek at the black planner he had left out, until Goldman came charging in, wearing a panicked expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, sir! I didn’t mean to miss your arrival-oh, it’s only you MC! You have no idea how glad I am to see you here,” Goldman sighed in relief.

“Hi Goldman! I know Victor had mentioned he was going to be in and out of meetings all day today, but I wanted to stop by and drop off some of the chocolate I made for him.”

MC noticed Goldman gazing longingly at the box of chocolates in her hands, and she generously offered the box to him.

“Would you like a piece? I made plenty of extras,” MC assured.

Goldman’s eyes lit up at the prospect, but then hurriedly shook his head.

“I appreciate the offer, but sadly I must decline. The boss probably wouldn’t be happy about that,” he sadly murmured.

MC couldn’t stand to see Goldman look so pitiful. She opened the box and started to hand him a piece.

“Don’t worry, it can be our little secret,” she promised.

MC reached over and was about to place the chocolate in his open hand, until a loud voice boomed throughout the room.

“I know you’re a dummy, but you really wouldn’t be that big of an idiot to give something that rightfully belongs to me away, now would you?”

Flinching because she recognized the voice, MC turned to see Victor standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, and not looking very amused.

“I swear I didn’t take a single bite!” Goldman cowered, before fleeing out the doorway and leaving MC alone with the furious CEO.

“Victor, you’re here! I made something for you,” MC chirped, trying her best to ignore the death glare Victor was shooting her.

She slowly walked over and held out the box of chocolates.

“I worked really hard on them. I hope they taste good!” MC prodded encouragingly.

Victor sighed and dubiously grabbed a piece.

“Is this even edible? Am I going to be poisoned if I eat this?” Victor sneered, while holding the chocolate up closer to his face to examine it.

“Hey!” MC pouted. “If you’re going to insult my chocolate, then I’m sure Goldman would be more than happy to take it off your hands.”

MC went to snatch the chocolate away, but Victor quickly popped it into his mouth.

“Not bad,” he complimented. “A bit dry, but still passable considering you were the one who made it.”

He patted MC’s head, and shared a small smile with her.

“Thank you for not killing me with your cooking. Your skills still have a long way to go, and I would graciously volunteer to share a few pointers with you,” Victor prompted.

Victor glanced at the clock on the wall and turned to leave his office.

“I’m due for another meeting, but you better answer your phone when I call you later,” he gruffly ordered.

“And, MC?”

He paused before disappearing down the hallway and faced his girlfriend.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Lucien: MC was in the bathroom brushing her teeth, when she heard the doorbell ring.

Who could that be?

Rushing to finish brushing, she raced over to answer the door, and was shocked to see Lucien standing there. MC stood there gaping at her unexpected visitor, until Lucien gently moved her aside and walked into her apartment.

“I hope you don’t mind my unannounced visit,” he commented. “Since today is Valentine’s Day, I had a theory you would be stopping by, so I thought I would make things easier on you. Was my hypothesis correct?”

Lucien’s gaze drifted over to the plate of chocolate MC had left out on her table. MC saw he noticed her homemade treats, and she rushed over to cover them.

“I’m sorry, I was planning on wrapping them before I came over,” she explained.

Just as MC was about hide the chocolate, Lucien swiped the plate from her grasp.

“Making me wait at this point would be just be plain cruel,” Lucien provoked. “Such cruelty should be punished accordingly. I propose that you feed me each one of the chocolates until I am fully satisfied.”

Lucien used his teeth to grab one of the chocolates, and then dropped it into MC’s open hand. She gulped as she felt Lucien’s tongue deliberately lick her hand, before scooping up the small piece of chocolate. Amused by MC’s flustered reaction, Lucien chuckled and reluctantly pulled away. MC wiped her hand with a towel, and Lucien admired the way her bows creased when she pouted.

“It seems that you have learned your lesson for now,” he crooned. “Perhaps I shall return after my time in the lab, and continue our little session?”

“Ugh, y-yeah! I mean, I would very much like that,” MC muttered, feeling the blush form on her face.

“Silly girl,” Lucien chortled. “Make sure you’re ready for me later. And get plenty of rest in the meantime. I can’t promise that your punishment is going to be an easy one.”

Kiro: “Ah! What are you doing?” MC cried out, as someone suddenly yanked her into a storage closet.

“Shh! Miss Chips, it’s just me!” Kiro beamed brightly at his confused girlfriend. “I didn’t want my manager to see you, so I decided that we would have an adventure and sneak away together!”

Kiro’s cheeks abruptly turned pink, and he awkwardly scratched the back of his head while gesturing towards the bag MC was holding.

“Also, I figured you might have a special treat for me since today is Valentine’s Day,” the superstar shyly admitted.

MC giggled at how cute Kiro was when he was bashful, and restlessly pacing around in suspense for his chocolates. Not wanting to keep him waiting any longer, MC swiftly rummaged through her bag until she came across the neatly decorated gift bag that contained his chocolates.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she professed.

Wasting no time, Kiro quickly tore into the bag, and immediately shoved the chocolatey goodness into his mouth.

“Oh my god, this tastes so good!” Kiro exclaimed, while still happily chomping down on his dessert. “I can feel the chocolate melting in my mouth. You’re an incredible cook, Miss Chips!”

Kiro swallowed the last of the treat, and then threw his arms around MC.

“Thank you for such a wonderful gift,” he murmured.

MC blushed as Kiro placed a sweet peck on the tip of her nose. He was about to kiss her more thoroughly, until they heard a knock on the door.

“Kiro? Are you trying to hide from me again?”

MC heard his manager sigh in exasperation, as Kiro covered her mouth with one of his hands.

“I swear, I don’t know what I’m going to do with him,” the manager mumbled.

The pair heard his footsteps grow fainter, and Kiro finally uncovered her mouth.

“I should probably be getting back now but do me a favor and keep tonight open! I’m going to make sure I wrap everything up here at a decent time, and then I’m yours for the rest of the evening. I pinky promise.”

Gavin: “Alright everyone, I’m leaving now,” MC called out to her colleagues.

“Where are you going, boss? Do you have a hot date or something?” Kiki teased.

“Um, no! I just need to drop something off to a certain someone that I cannot name at this time,” MC stammered, trying to cover the redness of her cheeks.

The truth was that MC was going to drop by the police station to surprise Gavin with her chocolates. NOT that she was going to share that information with anyone else! MC would never hear the end of it if she did!

“Look at her face! She totally has a date,” Willow retorted, wanting to join in on the fun of the commotion.

MC looked to Anna for help, but groaned when she saw her snickering in the corner. She was about to lecture her team of employees, when Minor suddenly jumped in front of her.

“MC! I arranged it so you don’t even have to leave! That “certain someone” should be here ANY minute now,” Minor babbled in excitement.

As if on cue, there was a loud bang at the window, and Gavin immediately came racing straight towards MC.

“What happened?! Are you hurt at all?” Gavin desperately questioned, while grabbing the sides of MC’s arms.

“I’m fine! Seriously, I’m fine! Nothing happened,” MC reassured, as she gently pat the top of Gavin’s head.

Gavin took a step back, and MC saw the mixture of both relief and astonishment on his face.

“Thank god,” Gavin muttered. “But then that means…….”

Gavin turned to face Minor, who was now trembling and trying to walk backwards away from the enraged evolver.

“Dude, I can explain! I only wanted you to come see MC, so I MAY have embellished a story to make you rush over here sooner,” Minor stuttered. “Please don’t hurt me!”

Starting to grow concerned for Minor’s safety, MC reached over to tug on Gavin’s hand, and dragged him over to her desk.

“Gavin, you can’t kill Minor! I have something to give you instead, that I think you’re going really enjoy,” MC beckoned.

Grabbing the container she stored the chocolates in, MC timidly handed him the treats she made.

“For me?” Gavin asked, blushing at the thought of her coworkers watching this scene take place.

MC nodded, and impatiently watched while Gavin unwrapped the gift. Gavin tossed the wrapping paper to the side and began to eat the chocolates.

“Hmm, this is delicious,” he uttered.

Seeming to forget that they were in MC’s workplace, he reached over to press his forehead against hers. His thumb massaged a small circle on her cheek, and he brushed her hair to the side of her face.

“Thank you very much,” Gavin breathed. “You always know how to make me happy. Although even your presence alone is more than enough of a gift.”

Gavin was about to lean in and kiss her, but the sound of cheering interrupted him.

“Don’t stop on our account!” Kiki obnoxiously giggled, along with the rest of the office.

“That’s enough,” MC scolded, while leading Gavin over to the door. “Everyone, get back to work!’

“Sorry about all of this,” the producer apologized. “Can I make it up to you after you finish work?”

Smiling, Gavin folded his arms across his chest.

“I would love that. I’ll give you a call when I’m finished up at the station,” Gavin promised, before making his exit, leaving the pair wishing for the rest of the day to go by quickly.

@agustd54, @firepurplestar, @n3vereding16

[nicolewoo]

Talking in her sleep Part 2

Pairing: Joe Anaoi (Roman Reigns) X Reader

Warnings: PTSD flashbacks to severe parental abuse and attempted murder. Please don’t read if this may trigger you. You can read the rest of the series without this fic. Just imagine we go out for lunch and get to know each other better.

“Can I buy you a cup of coffee? I want to talk about something.” Joe’s tone of voice sounded serious, so I agreed. He placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me to the coffee shop next to the hotel.

After we’d ordered, we sat. I expected Joe to start talking, but he didn’t. It seemed like he was upset. “Did I do something to make you mad?” I asked tentatively.

“No,” he was quick to blurt out. “It’s nothing like that.” He looked into my eyes and prepared to say what was on his mind when the barista called his name. He signaled the barista who brought our coffee to our table.

Once he left, Joe turned his attention to me. “I’m not mad or anything. I just want to talk about something, and you may not want to talk about it.” His fingers nervously toyed with the handle of his cup as he added, “I’m kinda worried about you.”

My brain immediately split in two directions. One side panicked as it mulled over topics I wouldn’t want to talk about while the other side hoped that Joe was about to confess that he had feelings for me.

“Listen, we haven’t known each other for long, but I really feel close to you. Know what I mean?” He looked nervously at me.

As his words sank in, the part of me that wanted him leaped in joy, but I contained my reaction. Why would he say he was worried about me? I nodded slowly. “Yeah, I know.”

His hand reached out to take mine for a minute as his eyes held mine, trepidation visible. I decided this wasn’t about what I wanted it to be about, and resigned myself back into accepting just being his friend. I hoped my disappointment didn’t show. “Joe, you’re worrying me. Whatever it is, just tell me.”

“You... uh... you had a nightmare last night in the car.” I broke my eyes away from his stare and looked down, trying to draw my hand from his as I tried to shrink back and disappear, but he held my hand firmly enough that it stopped me. “Hold on. Before you freak out...” I gently tugged my hand again, and he let me pull it away this time. “We don’t have to talk about them.” He reassured me, and I looked back up at him trying desperately to fake being ok.

“Did I hit you?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

“No. You didn’t, but Becks had warned me you might, so I was ready.” He took my hand again. “She also told me that you wouldn’t talk about the dreams, and I’m ok with that.” He brushed my knuckles with his long, thin thumb, and I looked down at the gentle gesture as I tried to compose myself. “I just....” he stopped, trying to find the right words. “Are you ok?”

I’d heard his tone of voice before, countless times from police and EMTs and doctors and social workers...... It was the “I’m so sorry for you” voice, and I wanted to snap at him. To tell him I was fine and didn’t need his pity, but I composed myself even though the images started rushing through my head. The shower. Running down the stairs and out the door in nothing but a towel. The sight of my mother chasing me with a butcher’s knife. The look on the pastor’s face when I begged for asylum.

I focused on my last session with my psychiatrist. He had said that the nightmares would probably resume now that I’d reached another level of success in my career. I remembered my mother screaming that I was a useless piece of trash that wouldn’t amount to anything, and would probably end up a whore just to survive. Yes. I had to focus. I had to remember that her opinion of me didn’t matter. That she was broken, not me. That I was a survivor. I was strong.

“Joe, can I have a second to compose myself?” I looked at my coffee cup as a tear leaked out of my eye. He stood when I did and let me walk off to the bathroom.

Once inside, I dried my tear and steeled myself. So, now he knows I’m a freaking wreck. I shook my head at myself in the mirror. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the message the psychiatrist and I had written a few weeks ago.

“You were broken as a child, and you overcame. Your past is your past, and it cannot hurt you anymore. She cannot hurt you anymore. What she did was not your fault. Your future is what you make of it.”

Right. What I make of it. What I make of it. I choose to not be broken anymore. I will overcome. I will succeed. I will be a champion in the ring and in life, and fuck her for what she did.

But Joe? Seeing him look at me with pity was almost more than I could take. I had to let him know that I was strong. I was capable. I was... I am, and standing here in the bathroom isn’t something that showed my strength. Right. I was ready to face him again.

I walked back to the table with a new resolve. I will be the person I want to be, and she can’t stop me. I sat across from Joe again and he looked at me sadly, “I’m so sorry. I should have handled this another way. I didn’t mean to...”

I held up my hand to stop him. “Don’t worry about it. It was bound to come up someday. We might as well handle it now .” I tried to smile warmly at him.

“I apologize.” He was beating himself up over this, so I reached out and took his hand.

“It’s not your fault.” I said. It was my mom’s fault, and I wasn’t going to let her ruin this friendship. She’d taken enough from me. “Really, I was hoping by the time you found out, you’d already think I was strong. That’s what upset me. I don’t want pity.” I rubbed my thumb over his knuckles as he’d done to mine earlier.

“Pity?” He shook his head no. “No. I don’t pity you. I’m proud of you. All Becky said was that if you mentioned your mom I needed to wake you up immediately.”

“Oh. I was talking?” I asked. “Did I say her name?”

“Well, you said the word mom, so I tried to wake you a couple times. You wouldn’t wake up.” Ok. This conversation seemed to be easier on both of us now. “I finally convinced you that you were safe, and your dream stopped. Well, you stopped talking and thrashing around, so I assume the dream stopped.”

He’d managed to calm me down in a dream? How was that even possible? I shook the question off. That was a topic for another day. “So, now you know I had a bad childhood.” I said matter-of-factly.

“Honey, a bad childhood is not being able to afford things or being neglected. I get the impression your childhood was......” he paused looking for the right word. “Traumatic.”

I pondered the word and nodded as I agreed. “Ok. I had a traumatic childhood. Can we stop talking about it now?” I asked.

Joe leaned in closer to me, “I just wanted you to know I’m here for you. If you want to talk, if you don’t want to talk. If you want to laugh and forget. Even if you just have a nightmare in the middle of the night and don’t want to be alone. I’m here for you. That’s all I wanted to say.”

He really was the kindest man, and I smiled at him, “Ok. I promise if I need you, I’ll let you know.”

He smiled sadly now, “I’m really sorry for how I brought it up.”

“Then you can buy the coffee, and I’m hungry. Buy me some lunch too!” That was the confident, teasing, fun sounding person I wanted to be, and with Joe laughing at what I just said, I felt it was true.

“Deal.” He said and flagged down the barista to get menus.

The story continues with I Wanted Her

Tag list: Wow! I finally have  a tag list.... @mindofasagittaruis​, here’s your sequel!

[aegor-bamfsteel]

Why do people say that Aegor raped Calla when she was a child? Daemon betrothing his oldest daughter to Aegor does not mean the marriage was consummated when she was a child. Sadly, Daemon himself was betrothed as a child. His grandmother Daenaera was married when she was 6 and his grandfather Viserys II was 12 when he wed and 13 when he had his first child, only a year younger than Daemon when he had his. Usually, it is custom to wait to consummate if the bride is a child.

Furthermore, the people who hate the Blackfyres try to frame it as Daemon selling his daughter to be raped, but I doubt that is why he betrothed her to Aegor since he already has Aegor’s unconditional support. Calla and Aegor never had children, per GRRM, so Aegor championed his nephews and nieces, essentially dedicating his life to his brother and his family. Daemon didn’t need to sell his daughter to Aegor for support, so that was not the reason for the betrothal. (2/3)

My point is that GRRM is wildly inconsistent with his child brides (and grooms). He uses Unwin Peake’s nameless daughter dying in childbirth at the age of 12 as a reason for why he is so despicable (and that is despicable). But then has Aemma Arryn consummate her marriage at age 13 and paints her father, grandparents, uncle, and husband as decent people. Daenaera is then married at age 6 but doesn’t consummate until age 15 or 16. It’s due to Aegon’s depression instead of custom. (3/3)

Thank you for the very thorough ask, tiger. I hope that I have successfully responded to all of your questions. Calla, as with all Blackfyres (and many non-Targaryen women), has certainly gotten a raw deal when it comes to page time/character depth; her only mention is in twoiaf: “Whatever the case may be (for Aegor’s anger at the Targaryens and Bl00draven), Aegor Rivers soon began to press Daemon Blackfyre to proclaim for the throne, and all the more so after Daemon agreed to wed his eldest daughter, Calla, to Aegor.” As Yandel doesn’t make any further comments, I assume the people who believe Calla was raped as a child exist in fandom rather than on page. Rape is a very sensitive subject, and I’m trying to keep the fanwank a bit quieter, so my response will be under the cut.

Why do people say Aegor raped Calla as a child? This actually involves several leaps in logic I don’t find convincing, so I’ll try to break it down:

We are first introduced to Aegor in the Dunk and Egg novellas via mention by some Blackfyre supporters, who are the natural antagonists of the Targaryens; the protagonist, Dunk, is best friends with the Targaryen prince Egg. Many of the Blackfyre supporters are minor antagonists to Dunk, especially in The Mystery Knight when they attempt to kill him (Alyn Cockshaw) or kidnap Egg (Tommard Heddle). Meanwhile, Bittersteel is a legendary hero to Blackfyre admirers (such as Osgrey), at least an important hoped-for ally to the Whitewalls conspirators (Gormon Peake needed some quick victories so Aegor would have faith in his and Daemon II’s rebellion), and a threat Bl00draven takes as seriously as the Blackfyre sons themselves. As an important member of a faction which has members that tried to harm the protagonist Dunk, people see Aegor as a villain. 

The problem with seeing him as a villain (as opposed to simply an antagonist, which he undoubtedly is if you consider the Targaryens protagonists of the story) is that, due to lack of page-time and because he’s not that bad, he never actually does anything too villainous. Urging someone to rebel is at the end of the day just words. He took Bl00draven eye out in battle, but that appears to be an accident and doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. Leading the Golden Company to sack Qohor for failing to honor a contract is severe, but its only mention is in a non-canonical app that few people read. When his chief rival Bl00draven is a canonical child-murderer, child-crippler, kinslayer, deserter, head of a secret police organization, tyrannical overlord, etc...Aegor’s “evil deeds” don’t appear to add up to much. He might even seem more sympathetic than Bl00draven! But that cannot be, so fandom has to headcanon villainous behavior for him, because he must be a villain antagonist.

But what sort of villainous behavior should he do? In order to root for Bl00draven against him, it must be something terrible. GRRM often uses rape to signal how terrible a male character is (and how awful Westeros can be). The most evil villains in the main series are serial rapists: Gregor Clegane, Ramsay Bolton, Euron Greyjoy, Craster; even Tywin Lannister, Roose Bolton, and Petyr Baelish have raped or enabled the rape of young women and girls. When the age of the victim is specified, she is often a preteen/young teenager to make her rape even more evil. The lone exception is Joffrey Baratheon, and that is only because he is 12 (he still molests Sansa repeatedly). Fandom rightly criticizes GRRM using sexualized violence against women as shorthand for “irredeemably evil” or window dressing for a dark fantasy. Yet when Aegor, a character who shows no sign of being a sexual predator (look at Shiera’s SSM, the Dunk and Egg books, and Yandel’s commentary on Aegor’s anger at Bl00draven: one-sided Aegor/Shiera has even less evidence of being real than Daemon/Daenerys), needs to commit villainous actions, some in fandom fall into the same trap as GRRM and imagine him raping women.

Then Yandel tells us that Daemon “agreed to wed his eldest daughter Calla” to Aegor shortly before the Rebellion. As Calla was not a triplet of his eldest sons Aegon and Aemon, the oldest she could possibly be was 11, still a child even by later GRRM standards. The phrase “agreed to wed” is at most a promise; it’s not an official betrothal, it’s certainly not an actual wedding, and it’s absolutely not a consummation. If it had been a consummation, that certainly would have been mentioned, as Yandel has repeatedly recorded rumors just for the purpose of making Daemon look bad (the 14 year old newly acknowledged landless natural son petitioned the king for a polygamous marriage with a princess and an Essosi noblewoman? sure...) Considering Daemon died at the end of the Rebellion and Aegor was now a landless, penniless rebel dependent on his goodsister Rohanne’s mercy, and how the Blackfyres needed to find more allies, I think any talks of marrying Calla was silenced. She married someone else, whereas he remained a bachelor for life and championed the cause of Haegon and his son Daemon III (not necessarily the others, as seen with Daemon II and Aenys, and he did not crown any of Daemon III’s brothers). 

Whatever I headcanon, 2018 GRRM’s comment that he doesn’t think Aegor had any offspring pretty much puts the nail in the coffin of Aegor having consummated any wedded relationship, let alone with Calla. If a male character is promiscuous, GRRM raises the possibility of them having sired natural children; with Aerion Brightflame in Lys, and Brandon Stark in the North, and even Tywin Lannister, he says, “I suppose they could’ve sired bastards” (or in Tywin’s case, gives a non-answer). That he gave a straightforward NO regarding Aegor’s potential children indicates that he feels it would be out of character for Aegor to have a sexual relationship, whether in marriage or outside of it. I hope that when people headcanon Aegor as a serial rapist, they take GRRM’s comments and fandom criticism of sexual violence to heart.

My point is that GRRM is wildly inconsistent with the ages of his child brides (and grooms): I would disagree to the point that in his earlier works, underaged girls forced to wed old men was universally portrayed as terrible and a feature of a corrupt character. Hoster regretted his actions toward Lysa on his deathbed, but it led to their estrangement and her susceptibility to Littlefinger’s manipulation; Sansa Stark’s marriage to Tyrion showed the breakdown of societal norms under Lannister rule; Jeyne’s forced marriage and immediate consummation to Ramsay moves Theon to try to rescue her. Although the marriage wasn’t consummated, GRRM found it difficult to write the Tyrion/Sansa scene because of her horrific abuse. But then The World of Ice and Fire and Fire and Blood are published and older man/younger woman marriages and relationships are outright romanticized by the authors themselves (Elio Garcia said 37 year old Daemon Targaryen’s relationship with the 16 year old Nettles was a true romance; GRRM said that 56-year-old Alyn Velaryon was the great love of 21-year-old Elaena Targaryen’s life) Perhaps the lack of PoV in these works distanced the male writers from the female characters’ emotions and allowed them to envision Rhaenys (16)/Corlys (37), Corlys (61)/Marilda (17), Thaddeus (56)/Floris (14), and Aemma (11-13)/Viserys (16-18) as mutually romantic couples with sympathetic men; but then in the same works the authors use forced relationships with young girls to villainize other men Unwin Peake (daughter died in childbirth at age 12) and Aegon II (was receiving a blowjob from a 12 year old when his father died). The double standard seems to imply that a teenage girl can consent to a relationship with a man old enough to be her father/grandfather if she is genuinely in love with him, which is disturbingly close to real-life defenses of statutory rape. I hate the way that the supplemental material has suddenly decided to defend these couples with “the girls wanted it”, and I can only hope this doesn’t start appearing in the main series that people actually care about.

One type of underaged pairing seems to have a consistent portrayal: child grooms don’t seem to be granted the same mutually happy relationship as child brides. Both Viserys (12) and Larra’s (19) and Androw (17) and Rhaena’s (25) marriages ended in tragedy (and death, in the case of the latter). This makes me...unsettled when thinking about how the authors will write Daemon (14)/Rohanne (older). But to stay within the bounds of your question, I don’t think they will depict an Aegor/Calla marriage due to it making little political or characterization-based sense; so fortunately it will neither villainize nor romanticize Aegor. Although an antagonist to the Targaryens, he has consistently took the higher road over Bl00draven and has the potential to be a tragic and multifaceted character.

[feelieking]

Series 12

A somewhat belated post - I started typing up my thoughts about Series 12 shortly after it ended, but only found the energy for a sustained bout of typing while taking a few days off work.

Season 12 of Doctor Who is now over. Readers may recall that I felt season 11 was pretty lacklustre. Season 12… has been an improvement, but a lot of the issues remain. The cast are great – Jodie Whittaker is fantastic, and I honestly cannot understand the vocal subset of fandom who insist on saying she can’t act – but there are too many regular characters, which means that none of the three companions get a decent share of screen time or character development. There’s been an improvement in the number and development of the guest characters, but many episodes have really suffered from the problem of scooping up all of the NPCs into the TARDIS and carting them along. As a consequence, a lot of episodes really struggle to cultivate a sense of location, and having guest characters in the TARDIS becomes run of the mill.

It’s also very interesting to me that, after making his first series almost entirely continuity-free, Chibnall’s second series is probably the most fanwanky we’ve ever had. Spoilers for all of the episodes follow.

Spyfall is a strong start to the series. The aliens were far scarier and better realised than anything for the preceding series, and part one benefitted from a strong sense of style and place, a slow build of the plot, and a genuinely shocking and tense cliffhanger. Part two floundered a bit by comparison, choosing to rattle through both Ada Lovelace in Victorian England and Noor Inayat Khan in Nazi-occupied Paris. Either one of these pairs of characters and settings would have been strong enough for an episode on their own; smooshed together, neither was really given a chance to develop. Still, the Doctor/Master scene on the Eifel Tower was very well done.

Orphan 55 seemed to go down very badly with my friends when it was transmitted, but I rather enjoyed it. It was a very trad base under siege story with a proper cast of supporting characters and some genuinely tense and scary moments. The “twist” of it being Earth all along, however, fell very flat – it’s a bit of a cliché by now, added nothing to the story, and has been done better before by earlier Doctor Who stories! The Doctor’s moralising speech at the end also made me grind my teeth – as others have said, it’s not that I disagree at all with the moral, but that we were bright enough to work it out from the episode without needing to have the Doctor break the forth wall to address the audience directly. I also question the logic of the Doctor taking the entire supporting cast, including a frail elderly lady and a young child, with her on her monster hunt, rather than leaving a group behind at the more defensible holiday camp.

Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror was really good, and felt like the most Doctor Who-y story of the Chibnall era by some margin. Great cast, great monsters (despite the usually reliable Anjili Mohnidra hamming it up as the scorpion queen) – all three of the main human guest cast were proper, fleshed-out characters – and a strong sense of location. The thing that struck me afterwards, however, as I rhapsodised about how much I’d enjoyed this episode and that it was the best new Doctor Who story in ages, was that in a Davies or Maffatt season, this would have been a good middle of the road episode, and not the showstopper it was here.

What can I say about Fugitive of the Judoon? The whole episode is one big slight of hand, which is pulled off very well – but as a consequence, it’s difficult to think on the plot as a whole. The Judoon are back as a returning monster at least in part to distract from the surprise reappearance of Captain Jack, which I suspect in turn was at least in part to keep the audience’s mind off of who Ruth could really be. The pay-off to that, when it comes, is a satisfyingly shocking moment that raises a lot of intriguing questions.

Praxaeus, sadly, was a bit of a damp squib. It’s one of the worst offenders for the Chibnall-era trope of gathering all of the guest cast in the TARDIS and setting big chunks of the story there. The idea of the Doctor and her companions investigating a global crisis at different locations around the world had a lot of promise, but because the Doctor was able to just swoop in and scoop them all up in the TARDIS whenever needed, that idea never really came to fruition. Because the guest cast were all thrown onto the ship, a lot of them never really got the chance to shine – and it’s never explained exactly how captured astronaut Adam is able to text his location to grumpy policeman husband Jake – though at least kudos goes to the episode for a really down to earth portrayal of a same-sex marriage.

Can You Hear Me? was hugely frustrating – this could have been a gem of an episode, but as it is it sinks like a lead balloon. The problem is that the writer has thrown far too many ideas at the story in the hope of seeing what sticks. A mental hospital in Fourteenth Century Aleppo being terrorised by monsters from the nightmares of one of the patients would have been a really good episode. The Doctor’s companions and their friends being trapped in their dreams in modern day Sheffield would have been a really good episode. A ship full of experiments orbiting two colliding planets would have been a reasonably decent episode – but by trying to do all three at once in fifty minutes, nothing is given any chance to breathe and develop. Again, supporting characters are just thrown into the TARDIS and moved from arbitrary location to arbitrary location, and then the monster is defeated by… the dialogue saying that they’ve been defeated. It’s such a shame, because there’s so much good stuff here – Ian Gelder is superb as Zellin, and could have easily been a great recurring villain if they’d chosen to make more than one episode from these ideas – but sadly the whole thing is so much less than the sum of its parts.

The Haunting of Villa Diodati, by contrast, is superb – one location, really well developed and realised, a strong, well-drawn cast of supporting characters (and some very handsome gentlemen as well!) and no TARDIS scenes. The early parts of the episode are fantastically tense and creepy, with the horror of being trapped in a moebius strip of a house very effectively portrayed. Like any haunted house story, it loses some interest once the reason for the “haunting” is revealed, but the second half remains strong not least because Ashad the emotional Cyberman is superbly well portrayed.

Ascension of the Cybermen/The Timeless Children is very much a game of two halves. Part one is pretty effective – Ashad continues to be an excellent villain (his big virtual confrontation with the Doctor is superb) and the grim reality of the Cyber Wars is very well conveyed. Showing the potency of the Cybermen by having them effortlessly destroy all the Doctor’s clever gadgets and scatter her companions is an excellent touch, and Graham and Yaz’s fight for survival is compelling and convincing. The wheels very much come off in part two, however – I like Dhawan’s Master (more on him later) but the fact that he perfunctorily kills off the far more interesting Ashad is a mistake, as is halting the episode for what feels like half an hour of tedious Gallifreyan story time. The “Cyber Lords” are a bad fan fic idea, look derisible and do absolutely nothing before they’re dispatched. The actual Cybermen, terrifying in small numbers last week, are unable to hit a single human with dyspraxia running away from them in their dozens this week. The big questions of the episode – why is there a magic portal to Gallifrey? How did the Master destroy the entirety of his own race singlehandedly? – are never even asked, let alone answered. And as for the awful deus ex “death particle” suddenly jumping out of the plot with no set-up – eugh! Pretty much the only thing this episode has going for it are the excellent Graham/Yaz scenes.

The two things this series is likely to be remembered for are the new incarnation of the Master, and the revelations about the Doctor. Sacha Dhawan is great in the role – his Master feels genuinely unhinged and properly dangerous, with a real predatory cunning – but given how perfect Missy’s arc and final scenes were, I’m genuinely a little disappointed to see the character back, especially in full-on villain mode. However, I will concede that jealousy over discovering that the Doctor really is “special” is a very in-character motivation for him to renew his vendetta.

As for the shock revelations – the idea of a secret incarnation that the Doctor herself does not remember is intriguing, and Jo Martin really makes the role her own. There was a lot of speculation at the time that she’s the “Season 6B” Doctor, between Troughton and Pertwee, and that’s still the idea that I like, and seems ripe for development. If she’s pre-Hartnell, then why does she call herself the Doctor, and why is her TARDIS a police box?

The whole “Timeless Child” nonsense however – why on Earth did anyone think that a protracted subplot to explain away a moment from the Brain of Morbius (transmitted forty-four years previously!) was a good idea? How alienating must this have been for casual viewers? As an idea, I think it stinks, not out of a slavish insistence that the Hartnell incarnation must have been the first but for the fact that the Doctor only really became the Doctor – the hero – as the series was starting. Chibnall tries to have his cake and eat it by erasing the Doctor’s knowledge of her previous lives, and reminding us on screen that the interesting thing about the Doctor is not her origins, but who she is now – but as that’s the case, why are we supposed to care about her Timeless Child incarnations? What was the point of it? Even if you subscribe to the idea that “who is the Doctor?” is an interesting and worthwhile mystery, the Timeless Child isn’t a mystery answered, just a mystery deferred. If I had to sum up my feelings in one word, it would be “meh.”

[djchucklaross]

Baptizing American Sin

As I sit here I reflect on a conversation I had with my friend. He began this conversation with me by simply asking “Charles what do you think of all of this”?  I took a moment to gather my thoughts but it was at that moment I was momentarily paralyzed with a loss of words. I remained silent for a little while longer. Noticing the silence he asked “Bro like what are your thoughts with the shit that's going on”? Hearing the question phrased in this fashion I was able to formulate some thoughts. I moved to change these thoughts into words.  I began to answer his question by saying “ I wish I could say that I am surprised but sadly that is not the truth. In fact, I am not.” This response caught him off guard a little so he asked me “ What do you mean by that” I told him “look what do you expect? A pandemic has caused people to remain in isolation in their homes since the beginning of March. And even in this nationwide and global pandemic, Black Americans continue to face the same racial injustices, marginalization, inequities, and inequalities they have experienced for the past 400 years”.    

    Now for the purpose of this, I do not want to go into the conversation that ensued following this statement I made. However, I want to focus on the element that I was not surprised.  Let me tell you why these murders, public killings, and spectacle lynchings are just scratching on the surface. Do not get it twisted I am not making light of these deaths. But what I am saying the deaths of George Floyd, Ahmed Aubrey, Breonna Taylor, Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, Paris Cameron, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Brooklyn Lindsey, Mike Brown, Tony McDade, and so many countless other Black Americans are parts of a much greater evil system. And these deaths are enabled and are permitted by the greatest sin of America which was the institution of legalized slavery which lasted as a legal institution from 1619 until 1865. Following the abolishment of slavery America has never repented for this great sin, in fact, America continues to commit sins against Black Americans. These sins only are perpetuated and sustained by the White Capitalist Supremacy Patriarchy which manifest systemic racism. And, in this manifestation, Black Americans continue to face inequalities, inequities, disenfranchisement, marginalization, hatred, and death. These traumas are apparent and urgent. But how do we move forward and transform?             

Before we transform we must remember something. And, that is before we are Black, White Latinx, Arab, Asian, etc we are HUMANS. And, I don’t write this to be corny, cliché, or ‘colorblind’. However, I say this as the realization we are humans who coinhabit this planet, and currently, the way we are living is not sustainable. With this realization, we need to figure this out! In addition to this realization that we are all humans, we must address that there is a system in place to keep Black Americans from gaining economic and political freedom. Also, this same system restricts Black Americans from truly living free in a country they built. WE MUST ACKNOWLEDGE THIS FACT. WE CAN NO LONGER REMAIN PASSIVE. IT IS CRUCIAL THAT WE CALL A SPADE A SPADE. The spade is the WHITE CAPITALIST SUPREMACY PATRIARCHY.              The system of the  WHITE CAPITALIST SUPREMACY PATRIARCHY is a system that affects our daily lives. Racism is not the only kryptonite that suffocates Black lives, but it is a part of a system. Capitalism, patriarchal masculinity, American hegemonic values, and racism are the variables that drastically hinder Black life. However, I firmly believe we can change this system. I have faith in the people of this country. America has rallied on multiple occasions. Now more than ever is a time to rally. Our rally call now is liberation. We must liberate every American citizen to create a society in which every citizen feels to live free.      

  So how do we move forward? How does America get baptized to wash away its original sin? To be honest I do not have a real answer to this question because the system of oppression has existed for centuries. But, what I do have is a start to dismantling this system. Like I said previously we must first address and acknowledge that such an institutional system exist. And then something different. It’s a very philosophical and abstract idea because we live in a world that operates on a binary either you’re right or wrong, you are good or bad, you are Black or white, there is just and unjust, and finally yes or no. But the reality is no one truly lives on one side of the spectrum the majority of people operate in the grey. And given this fact, people have their own ideas, experiences, biases, prejudices, and perspectives. However, given this binary, we are conditioned to think and believe certain ‘truths’ the problem with this way of thinking it avoids conversations and discourse.  We need to enter the zone of proximity and have deliberate and challenging conversations.         

    Therefore in these conversations, it is imperative that we do not cancel people. Meaning, we cannot call people out but we must call people in. Calling a person out is a tool of alienation. Therefore, we must call people in. If a person goofs up don’t criticize or chastise them but rather provide constructive criticism. With this being said, it is vital, WE CANNOT BE SOFT WE HAVE TO ACCEPT CRITICISM AND LEARN FROM IT. Now, conversations only go so far.WE MUST ALSO QUESTION and ACT. What should we question and act upon? To begin with, how can we create equitable economic opportunities for EVERY CITIZEN? How do we educate our children? How do we fund our public school system?  How do we police our citizens? How do we disrupt the current housing structure that systematically displaces Black folks? These questions are very broad strokes on the painting of oppression. However, I believe these strokes are important. Along, with these questions, we must also act. We act by voting, and not just for presidential elections but also for LOCAL ELECTIONS. In addition, we need to be politically active writing and calling our local politicians.We must fight for representation and diverse voices and faces in every field. We must write and create! We must work to educate. Not only do we educate but we must also be liberatory educators. Meaning, we allow for folks to question and to think.                 

Ultimately, I believe it comes down to seeing the world and your life in a different way. We begin to see differently we enter the zone of proximity. We have to get close to people. We have to have conversations that are hard and uncomfortable. More than anything we have to know each other. Like the magnificent bell hooks said “ When we drop fear, we can draw nearer to people, we can draw nearer to the earth, we can draw nearer to all the heavenly creatures that surround us”. That is how we baptize ourselves.

[lilacmoon83]

Swan

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 6: Commiseration

Flashback

Almost Twelve Years Ago

The Sorcerer's Apprentice stood before them and felt a slight pang of pity, as he saw the desperation in their eyes. They were heroes, true loves and yet had been pushed so far that they were ready to commit an atrocity to save their child. Nevermind that they were being manipulated into doing this.

"So that's it? We steal her egg and you put our child's darkness into Maleficent's. Then our child will be safe," Snow recited. He nodded curtly and saw the Prince gently took her aside.

"Snow…" he said.

"You didn't see her, Charming. She was evil…" Snow said, as she began to cry again. He held her gently and stroked her hair. Then a thought struck him.

"I know I didn't...but you didn't see what I saw. She was so beautiful and innocent, Snow. She was good...she came from us! How can we even begin to think that a child born from us will be anything other than good?" he asked.

"You heard what Maleficent said. It's because she will be born of true love that she may have the potential to be evil," she replied.

"She may...not that she will," he argued.

"How can we take that chance?" she asked.

"I don't think we can, but this is us we're talking about. In all our time together and fighting to be together, we've always been given two choices. Since when have we ever chosen either of the paths presented to us?" he questioned her and she thought for a moment.

"We...we don't. We always find another way," she realized.

"Then this is what we should do this time, because as much as I know we would both do anything for our baby...I don't think stealing another baby is the answer," he reasoned.

"Then how do we protect our child?" she asked desperately. The Apprentice decided, at that moment, to take pity on them. They had been very close to doing something bad for the sake of saving their child. Any parent would do what was necessary, even good people such as them. Perhaps they deserved a break.

"There may be another way, but it is not without risks," the Apprentice warned, as he presented them with a scroll.

"What is this?" Snow asked.

"It will create a portal...to a land far from here. A Land Without Magic," he replied.

"Isn't that the kind of place that the Queen plans to send us with her curse?" David questioned suspiciously.

"Yes, but if you go through the portal before the curse, you will be in this world outside the curse. I warn you though. It is a land that is very different. You would not be royalty there. It can be harsh, but it also can be a safe place to raise your child until it is time to break the curse," he explained. They exchanged a glance and then looked back at him.

"There is nothing more important than our daughter...especially not our Thrones," Snow said.

"Then you must go," he said, as he handed the scroll to them.

"Open it when you are ready and walk through the door. Go as prepared as you can. In this world, gold is not the main form of currency, but it is valuable. It can be exchanged. Take as much as you can, for things are very different in this world," he instructed.

"Thank you," Snow said, as they exited his cabin and hurried back to their horses.

End Flashback

~*~

"If that was your plan...then how did it go wrong?" Regina questioned.

"Oh, that would be me, dahling," Cruella said.

"Maleficent made it through and then these two showed up. Cruella used her powers to confuse a Chimera and by the time we fought it off, these two had followed Maleficent through and the portal disappeared," David replied, glaring at them.

"So...perfect, pure Snow White almost stole someone else's child," Regina said smugly.

"Because of your curse," David snapped. She smirked.

"And I take great satisfaction in the fact that I almost made you two "heroes" go down the same dark path I did," she said.

"Last time I checked, Regina, you went down the dark path for revenge. Their almost stumble was caused by their desperation for their child. And believe me...I know that desperation," Maleficent interjected.

"Why are you taking their side!? Especially hers! You know what a little monster she is," Regina growled.

"No child is a monster, Regina and you were wrong to ever think Snow was. We both know who the real monster in your life was," Maleficent argued. Regina frowned and the blonde directed her attention at the two little girls by the fire. They were laughing together over a game of go fish they were playing with a deck of cards.

"Look at them, Regina," she said.

"Are they monsters?" Maleficent asked. Regina snorted.

"Well, if the blonde one is anything like her mother, then she's probably a brat at the very least," Regina replied.

"That's it…" David growled, as he started to storm toward her, but Snow held him back.

"Oh yes dahling...get angry," Cruella leered.

"Another word and I shred that monstrosity you're wearing," Snow warned, as she tried to quell her angry husband. Cruella scoffed.

"Honestly...what do you see in...her?" she asked distastefully, but she was ignored.

"Baby…I'm fine," she promised.

"She can't keep blaming you for Daniel's death. That was her own mother and she knows it," he said.

"Yes...but I think I'm easier to blame," she replied.

"I don't care...I'm tired of the way she treats you. She's the reason we missed ten years of our daughter's life! It was supposed to be twenty-eight!" he cried, as he glared at her.

"We escaped to be with her, but you just couldn't let us go. You can't stand it if we're happy, because even with your perfect curse...you're miserable and alone," David hissed.

"Oh if I had magic right now, I'd rip your tongue out and choke the life out of you, Charming," Regina hissed back.

"But you don't. So give me one good reason why we shouldn't drive by the nearest police station and push you out of our truck, because at least with you behind bars, I know Emma will be safe," he retorted.

"He has a point. I cannot and will not be separated from my Lily, especially not for some curse that you're clearly dissatisfied with already," Maleficent said.

"I can't believe you would side with them of all people," Regina cried hotly.

"I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't given up what we had for revenge," Maleficent said quietly.

"You are your own worst enemy, Regina. You became exactly what your mother wanted. You chose power over love...and you're miserable. Daniel died in vain," she added.

"You take that back," Regina hissed.

"No...because you know it's true," Maleficent argued.

"Don't tell me that if you had the chance to get revenge on Briar Rose that you'd pass it up," she insisted.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," she said, as she looked at Lily.

"Having a child...it makes all the difference and revenge suddenly becomes the last thing on your mind, because you know that revenge could destroy the ones you love and not just your enemies," Maleficent said.

"Yes, well...I don't have a child and I never will," Regina spat.

"You could, if you wanted to," Maleficent said.

"Mommy…I'm hungry," Emma said, as she and Lily began to tire of their game.

"There's plenty of food in the kitchen," Mal called, as David took their daughter's hand.

"Okay princess...let's see what we can get for you, Lily, and August," he said, but not before kissing Snow tenderly and with a little more heat than usual in public, purposely to stick it to Cruella. Snow smiled dreamily, as their lips parted and she allowed herself a smug smile at Cruella's expense.

"I suppose you don't have any baking supplies?" Snow asked. Maleficent smiled.

"I'm not much on baking from scratch, but there are a couple boxes of cake mix and frosting in the pantry," she said. Snow smiled.

"You're going to bake?" Regina asked incredulously.

"It's Emma's birthday," Snow replied shortly.

"I was going to bake her one when I got home. This was going to be the first birthday that we got to spend with her. But you ruined it, as usual," she said.

"Oh spare me your sorrow," Regina hissed.

"I will not!" Snow snapped back, surprising her. She had dealt with Snow before and was finding that Snow the mother was very different than Snow the bandit Princess.

"My daughter spent ten years in horrible foster homes and overcrowded group homes! No one ever threw my baby a birthday party! So yes...I'm going to bake her a birthday cake. You can go to hell for all I care," she growled, as she went to the kitchen. Maleficent smirked.

"Motherhood...it's magical," she joked.

"Not that cake isn't apparently essential...we're still harboring a fugitive and I don't intend to go to prison. I say we dump Queenie," Ursula commented, earning her a glare from Regina.

"Or perhaps I have another proposition," Maleficent interjected.

~*~

David watched his wife furiously mix the cake batter in the bowl. He had made grilled cheese for the kids and got them settled with their sandwiches and some chips. They were occupied and he gently put his arms around her.

"Snow…" he said and she stopped stirring.

"This is not how this evening was supposed to go," she replied sadly.

"I know, my darling," he said.

"We had gifts all ready for her and I was going to bake a cake. In our new home. Emma's first home with us and now we can never go back there," she said tearfully.

"But we're together," he reminded her.

"For how long? Because you were right...she's going to stab us in the back the first chance she gets! I don't know why I ever thought any different," she lamented.

"You have never given up on her...you always have hope. That's one of the many things I love about you," he replied.

"Maybe it's time to give up," she said.

"That's not like you," he replied.

"No, but I think it has to be now. I can't take a chance that Regina will try to destroy our happiness again. We have to put Emma first and…" she said, as she trailed off.

"And we will. We're not going to let her this time. We will leave again and forge a new life, far from here if we have to...just the four of us," he said.

"Five…" she whispered and he looked at her intently.

"What?" He asked.

"There's going to be five of us soon," she replied and he looked at her still flat stomach intently and then back up at her. She saw the hope and joy on his face instantly.

"Snow…" he said and she nodded.

"I'm pregnant…" she replied, as he hugged her tightly and then spun her around.

"David...we haven't told Emma yet," she warned, as he put her on her feet. Luckily, their daughter was occupied by her new friend.

"We will and we'll make sure she knows that it only means that our family is growing and that we would never give her up again," he promised.

"Unless Regina has her way," Snow feared.

"Not this time," he insisted, as he kissed her passionately again and put a hand to her belly. His smile was contagious and she smiled back, as he kissed her again. They weren't sure where they were going to go yet, but they knew that this time, they would not let anyone separate them again.