#i can't wait to see everyone else's uploads!!

[withmyloveasyourgarden]

CINNAMON SWEET

STEVE HARRINGTON X F!READER

A cute little diner, friends that secretly conspire to give you and Steve the push you both need, and a planned breakfast that suddenly feels a lot more like a date - not that either of you are complaining. [Re-uploaded from my old blog]

Realistically, Steve should have known there was something going on when everyone, except you and him, suddenly couldn't make it to the breakfast that they'd all planned. 

But he hadn't really thought much of it when Max said she was teaching El how to skate or when Eddie and the rest of the kids said there was important Hellfire stuff that needed doing. 

Robin had picked up an extra shift at work and when Steve had shot her a briefly suspicious look, she had simply smirked and said something about how she needed to stop being broke and finally get a licence. Because it's not like he could drive her around forever and ‘I can't be third wheeling when you finally get a girl willing to put up with you Harrington.’

And maybe he would have put it together if he hadn't been so god damn nervous.

If there weren't butterflies in his stomach right up until he pulled up in front of your house and if his brain didn't stutter every time he thought of how it was just going to be you and him. 

He didn't fare any better when you stepped outside, the same startling grin on your face when your eyes found his that had stolen his heart the very first time he'd seen it.

There was a softness to how you were dressed that made him ache, all chunky-knit sweaters and pretty-coloured beanies, the scarf that Steve had given to you last year when you took the kids ice-skating and later you'd teasingly informed him he would never get back. 

He couldn't help but hope that he never would if it meant he kept getting to see you walk around in something of his. The feeling he got in his chest when you would catch his eyes on it - smile half hidden beneath the dark wool, hopelessly shy, and your own gaze tinged warm. 

It was one that lingered as you climbed into the car, a gust of cold wind entering with you that stirred at Steve's hair and blew the scent of spiced apple and vanilla from your body wash all around him, hands tightening around the steering wheel and teeth clamped because he was sure he would blurt out something stupid when he realised how the smell instantly brought him comfort. 

"Hey." You murmured from beside him, voice soft, still a little thick from sleep like you hadn't fully woken up yet and Steve was pretty sure he felt something in his chest melt at the sound. "Is it just us?" 

"Hey, sweetheart." He hummed without thinking, the pet name slipping too easily past his lips like it had always held a place on his tongue when he spoke about you, and he was too preoccupied with watching the road to be aware of the way you flushed in response. "Looks like it, apparently everyone else has plans that couldn't wait. S'that okay?" 

And it's not that he necessarily thought you would have a problem with it but he wanted to make sure anyway. Because you and Steve had never really done anything like this before, there was always other people around - the kids or Robin and Eddie, or any time you had spent alone together was either spent entertaining each other at work or in an alternative dimension, fighting for your lives. 

This, right here and now, felt different and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you had to be there if you didn't want to be. 

But then, to the boy's delight, you turned your head to grin at him, soft and warm, eyes bright. Looking every bit like you had always belonged in the passenger seat of his car, right beside him, just like this. "That's fine Steve." You told him. "It's their loss." 

**

The drive to the diner that Steve had chosen, a little bit out of the way instead of sticking to the one in town, was simultaneously never-ending and not long enough. 

An easy conversation flowed between you both. The nerves that had fluttered in your belly at the realisation it would just be the two of you slowly fading as you listened to Steve sing along to the music under his breath, only for them to then reappear with a vengeance when his hand occasionally brushed against your knee as he shifted gears. 

Each time he would withdraw his hand, cheeks tinged a soft pink, his apology a little choked sounding as he coughed to clear his throat. 

You had to pretend that the fleeting touch didn't burn you each time, that you didn't wish you could catch his fingers with yours and pull his hand back to rest on your knee instead of telling him ��don't worry about it.’

And by the time you were unbuckling your seatbelt, nearly tumbling out of the door in your need for fresh air, there was a heady kind of tension between you. A sweet ache that made you feel permanently too warm, too giddy each time soft, brown eyes landed on yours and he smiled that same devastating smile that had labeled you a goner from the moment you had met him.

He waited for you to join him around the front of the car before he motioned towards the place with a little ta-da, his expression adorably pleased when you gave a delighted laugh before your gaze flickered to the quaint, little building, intrigued.

It didn't look like much at first glance but there was charm in its simplicity, all the decorations that they'd lovingly put in place for the season and the upcoming holiday making it feel homely and your heart undeniably happy. 

"How did you hear about this place?" You asked curiously whilst walking to the door. 

There was barely any space between you and every now and again you accidentally bumped arms or your fingers brushed, almost catching, so close to holding, but never quite. And unlike in the car, this time there was no quickly pulling away, no muttering of an apology, instead you both allowed it to happen like you were waiting to see if the other would pull away or if they'd be the one brave enough to move closer. 

But neither of you did and Steve quickly pulled you away from thoughts of if you should when he answered,

"Joyce told me. Said she used to bring Jonathan and Will here all the time because Will was convinced they did the best cinnamon waffles and hot chocolate." He grinned softly, eyes golden in the light of the sun and his expression briefly hesitant when he drew his lip between his teeth before adding. "It uh, it made me think of you."

"I remind you of waffles and hot chocolate? Is it because I'm just so sweet?" You joked. 

He shook his head with a huffed laugh, a rogue strand of hair falling into his eyes that you ached to brush away. "I wouldn't say that, well maybe, I guess?" He contradicted himself, cheeks a little flushed as he caught your amused stare, the pretty twinkle in your eyes that grew the more the boy spoke. "You mentioned that cinnamon waffles and hot chocolate was your favourite thing to have for breakfast that time we were at Robin's and– wait - shit - did I remember wrong?" 

You were stunned - a little too much so that you couldn't answer him for a moment, simply blinking at him as Steve's face grew worried. 

He brought you back with a hushed murmur of your name and you were suddenly fighting to breathe against the golden warmth flooding through your chest. 

"No, no, no, that's right." You assured him, a steadily beaming smile creeping across your face and Steve practically lit up with relief. "I just can't believe you remembered."

He snorted a little as he reached for the door and swung it open, a strong arm catching around your waist and pulling you into him to create a clear path for the elderly couple who were on their way out. 

"I remember a lot of things about you, probably more than I should." His voice was softer than you'd ever heard it and if the boy heard or even felt the way your breath hitched then he didn't say anything. Simply smiling proud and wide as the old couple thanked you, the lady cooing about 'what a cute couple you were and such lovely manners too.'

And when you finally dared to chance a look up at him he was already watching you. The tension from the car ride returning, something electric brewing in the small space between you that apparently made the boy feel bolder.  

"I did forget something today though." He mumbled, gaze a little warmer, a little flirtier, fixed on yours as he lifted his hand to tug high at your scarf, a light touch that caused his hand to barely graze the edge of your jaw and jesus christ, you couldn't fucking breathe. "Should have told you how pretty you look the moment you stepped foot in my car." 

You hadn't even realised your hands had made their way to his chest, fingers caught gently in his jacket from when you had swayed into him. But his breath was warm on your face and his nose was bumping yours and you swore there was a question in those pretty, honey eyes as they flicked from yours to your lips and slowly back. 

"I think I could maybe forgive you for taking this long." You whispered and he grinned, sticky-sweet and lovesick. 

"Yeah?" 

It was a question that you so badly wanted to answer by tilting your chin and pressing your lips to his. You wanted nothing more than to push yourself further into him, ached to feel him wrap himself around you, arms tight and mouth warm and giving under yours. 

But just as his lips brushed yours, the faintest echo of a touch, and you heard the boy's breath hitch, there was a crash from inside.

The sound of a plate shattering and cutlery hitting hardwood loud enough that the two of you jumped and stumbled apart with wide eyes. Gazes a little shy now the bubble you'd found yourselves in had been popped, allowing the world to rush around you once again. 

For a few moments you both just stood there, you nervously chewing at your lip as Steve ran a hand through his hair, musing it further than the wind had already. But then you caught the boy's eye and the laughter that bubbled out from you both sounded quiet and breathless, but real.

Happy.

And you could hardly bite back the smile when he tilted his head towards the inside of the diner and grinned. 

"After you, sweetheart." 

[bsturnzmtts]

That’s what friends are for - Matt Sturniolo

Re uploaded because my account bsturnzmtt got deactivated :( Please follow and let me know if you want to be in my tag list !

Paring: softdom!Matt x innocent! Reader

Contains/warnings: manipulation, inexperienced reader, fingering, oral (fem receiving), loss of innocence kinda, pet names, aftercare, no p in v

Summary: You go crying to Matt after a group of friends' laughed at your innocence and inexperience. So Matt decides to help you...

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You were hanging out with your friends, everything was going normal until someone made a weird question.

“Where is the weirdest place you’ve touched yourself at?” Someone asks.

Everyone laughs and starts answering “at a restaurant”, “library”, “school” etc. You stay silent confused by the question not understanding. When everyone else answers except you, someone turns to face and asks. “What about you?”

You freeze feeling nervous and confused. “Uhh I- I don’t understand…” You say.

Everyone laughs thinking you were joking, when they see you don't laugh they realize you weren’t joking. Everyone stared at you weirdly and started saying all kinds of stuff. “She can’t serious”

“You can't be that dumb.”

“You're such a prude.”

“Oh god, she's actually that innocent.”

Your eyes blurring with tears at the comments people are throwing at you. You don't understand anything, you don't understand why they are being this mean to you. You quickly grab your things and storm out of there. You don't wanna go home, but you can't stay on the streets crying. So you decide to go to your best friend's house, Matt. His house is just a couple blocks away so you walk there.

By the time you get to his house tears stop falling out of your eyes. But it’s clear that you've cried, your red eyes selling you out. You knock on his door.

He answers the door, his warm smile immediately putting you at ease, even in your emotional state. His eyes flicker to your reddened eyes he tilts his head slightly, concerned by your state. “Hey there, sweetheart. What's wrong?” He softly asks with concern.

“I- I’m so sorry to show up to your house like this, it’s just that… tha-.” You can feel yourself start to cry again.

Matt quickly pulls you into a heartfelt hug, letting you cry on his shoulder. “Hey, hey, it's okay.” He murmurs softly, his hand gently rubbing your back. “No need to apologize, you can always come to me, you know that, right?”

You nod but continue to cry on his shoulder.

He continues to hold you, waiting for you to calm down enough so that you can talk about what happened. Once your sobbing subsides a little, he gently guides you to his couch and sits down next to you. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You can tell me anything, you know that. So go ahead, what happened?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it…” your voice breaks a little bit as you say that

“Okay. That's fine too. You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel ready yet.” He squeezes your shoulder gently, offering silent support and comfort. “How about we just sit here for a little while?”

You nod. Some minutes go by, you're completely done crying and your breathing is back to normal now. “They all laughed at me…” you suddenly say in a quiet voice.

He frowns, listening. "Who laughed at you, sweetheart? And why?" He asks.

“We… we were all hanging out, it was all good. We were having a good time until someone asked…” you start explaining.

"Ask what, love?" He gently prods you to continue, keeping a comforting arm around your shoulders.

“Someone asked, ‘Where is the weirdest place you’ve touched yourself at?’” You say.

His expression and posture changes completely from comforting to protective. He pulls you in even closer, scowling. "And what did you say?"

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything. Everyone was answering until someone asked me… I- I told him I didn’t understand the question.”

His grip on you tightens, eyes flashing with a mix of anger and concern. "Fuck. Those bastards." He mutters under his breath. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

“They all laughed at me and called me a prude? I think. I don’t remember the word.”

"I don't care what they said, you are not a prude." He gently tilts your chin up to meet his gaze.

“What's a prude?” You ask confused.

He brushes his thumb across your cheekbone, a soft smile on his lips. "A prude is someone who is overly conservative or modest, especially when it comes to sex or relationships. They think you're naive or inexperienced because you didn't answer their crude question." He cups your face, looking into your eyes.

“… what did their question mean?” You ask.

Matt could see your innocence through your eyes. His eyes widen and he sighs heavily, his thumb still rubbing soothing circles on your cheekbone. He looks down, realizing that he may have to explain something uncomfortable to you. "It's a question about masturbation, okay? Touching yourself in a sexual way."

“Oh, like … sex?” You ask innocently.

"Not exactly, love. It's more about pleasuring yourself, especially when you're alone." He pauses, considering how much to reveal. "Sometimes people touch themselves in private, for pleasure, to relieve tension.”

“Ohhh… I’ve never done that.” You say quietly.

His eyes flicker with surprise, but he quickly masks it with a neutral expression. "Oh. Really?" He looks at you with new eyes, as if he's seeing a different side to you. "That's okay, it's your choice. Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to sex and sexual activity" He reassures you, sliding his hand down to rest on your shoulder. "But, there's nothing wrong with it if you ever feel like giving it a try."

“Does it… feel good?” You ask with curiosity.

He chuckles, a soft, warm sound. "Yes, it can feel very good.” he admits with a smile. "You feel a rush of pleasure, a release of tension and stress. Some even say it helps with sleep." he explains, his eyes never leaving yours.

You pay attention to his words, your curiosity growing every second. “Have you done it?” You ask innocently with curiosity.

His smile turns into a soft chuckle again as he looks away, clearing his throat. He seems a bit hesitant to answer, but eventually meets your gaze again. "Yes, I have. It's a normal part of life, love."

“Ohhhh” you respond.

He leans in closer, his breath tickling your ear as he whispers. "What is it, sweetheart?“ His hand slides down to rest on your hip, fingers tracing gentle circles on your skin. "You're thinking about it, aren't you?" His voice is low, a husky whisper. "Wondering what it would feel like…” His eyes narrow slightly, studying your reaction, noticing the subtle hitch in your breath and the way your cheeks flush. He leans in closer, his voice lowering to a husky whisper. "You're...interested, aren't you?”

You nod slowly, feeling a little shy. “But.. I- I don’t know how to…”

His soft smile turned into a smirk. “Shhh, don't worry.” He reassures you. "I'll teach you." His hand moves from your hip to your waist, pulling you closer to him. His other hand reaches up to gently cup your face .“I'll be here to guide you through it all."

“Mhh… I don’t know” you say feeling nervous and unsure.

His smirk grew wider. He leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. “Trust me.” he whispers, his hand sliding from your waist to gently rest on the small of your back. He pulls you even closer to him, leaving very little space between your bodies. "It's just you and me, okay?" He can be very persuasive... "I promise to make you feel good," he whispers.

You think about it still feeling unsure.

He watched you hesitate, "What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you trust me?" He asks, feigning a sad expression. “I just want to help you.” He says with a disappointed voice. “That’s what friends are for.” His eyes sparkle with mischief. “And we’re friends, aren’t we?”

“… of course I trust you Matt, you’re my best friend. I just.. I-”

He watched you stutter, his grin growing wider with every passing second. He knows he had you exactly where he wanted you. "Then let me help you. We are best friends. And best friends do...well, all sorts of things together." He says with a little chuckle. He can't help but find your innocence and nervousness adorable. He loves how you don't know what his intentions actually are. "I've been planning this moment for a long time now." His hand moves up to your face again, lightly brushing away loose hair from your cheek. "I know what's best for you, I promise. You can trust me.”

“You promise it won't hurt?” You softly ask. You still feel very unsure but you want to show him that you trust him and that he is your best friend.

He gives your face a reassuring squeeze, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "Absolutely not, sweetheart. I promise, it won't hurt at all." He speaks in a soothing, calming tone, his eyes filled with a gentle sincerity. “In fact, it will feel amazing.”

You nod as he says that, you really love Matt as your best friend. So you accept not wanting to ruin your friendship.

He knew he had you right where he wanted you - vulnerable and willing, trusting his every word. "That's a good girl," he cooed, his voice dripping with approval and affection. His eyes are filled with lust and desire. He gently caresses your arm, his fingers trailing down slowly, sending chills running up and down your body.

He watches your reactions closely, gauging your level of comfort and arousal. Seeing you shiver at his touch, he knows he's making progress. His hand slides from your arm to the hem of your shirt, fingers dancing teasingly along the fabric. "First, we need to get you out of this." His hands slowly lifted it up your torso. He fully takes off your shirt revealing the lacy bra underneath. He admires your body for a few seconds. “Fuck” he murmurs. He takes your hand and guides it to his crotch, his fingers intertwining with yours as he presses your palm against the hard bulge in his pants. "See how much you affect me, sweetheart?" he murmurs again, his breathing growing more every second. You let out a small gasp as you feel a hard bulge.

He watches your face as you feel his hardness through his pants, your small gasp and the way your eyes widen slightly. “Ah, you feel that?" He whispers in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “Don't be shy," he whispers, urging you to stroke him gently. He moans lightly at your touch, his eyes closing in pleasure. "God, you drive me crazy." he says, his voice filled with a husky warmth that makes your stomach flutter. "You like that, sweetheart?" He continues to press your hand against his crotch, loving the way your innocent touch makes him feel. He says as he leans down to kiss you deeply while caressing your breasts over the bra. He reaches around your back and undoes the clasp on your bra. He gently tugs the straps down, exposing your breasts to his hungry gaze. He leans in, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling on it gently.

“Mmmh” you let out a whiny moan feeling his tongue against your hard nipple.

He savors the sweet, innocent sound of your moan, his tongue swirling around your sensitive bud as he sucks gently. "Mmm, you like that don't you?" He murmurs, the vibrations of his voice against your sensitive skin sending another wave of pleasure through you. He continues to tease and taste your nipple, his other hand massaging your other breast, making sure to give it equal attention. After a few seconds he moves one hand down to your thighs, gently caressing them as he makes his way upwards. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart."With a gentle but firm grip, he pushes up your skirt, making space for himself to touch you more intimately. As his hand inches closer to your core, you can feel the heat building between your legs, aching for more of his touch. His hand finally reaches your panties, his fingers grazing the fabric over your slick folds. "Fuck, you're so wet already," He gently rubs your clit through the fabric of your panties, applying just enough pressure to make you squirm in pleasure.

You bite your lips and let out muffled moans.

He smirks at the sight of you trying to stifle your moans and he loves knowing he's the one causing such delicious chaos. With a smirk he knows you can't see, he slowly lowers his hand, pulling down your panties as he does.

When he fully took your panties off you automatically close your legs feeling embarrassed.

His eyes light up as he sees your instinctive reaction to expose yourself, a mix of shyness and vulnerability. "Don't be shy, baby. I want to see you, all of you." He gently spreads your legs apart. He leans down, his breath fanning against your slick folds, making you gasp, his eyes devouring the sight of your bare, glistening sex.

You close your eyes, your breathing gets heavy, you bite your lip harder. All because of the feeling of his hot breath hitting your core.

He slowly exhales against you, the heat making you tremble despite the lack of direct contact. "You're so responsive, it's a fucking turn-on." He reaches up and gently runs a finger along your slit before pulling back and bringing that finger to your lips, gently pressing it against them. "Open your mouth, my love.”

You stay paralyzed for a few seconds, but then decide to do what he says. So you open your mouth looking at him with my innocent doe eyes showing confusion.

He chuckles at your look of confusion. Seeing your innocent, confused expression makes him smile. "Don't question it, just do as you're told," he whispers, his voice low and commanding, and slowly slides his finger into your mouth. He groans at the sight of watching you as you taste yourself for the first time. He guides your tongue to his finger, coating it with your saliva. "Good girl. That's it, sweetheart. Suck on it” he says before taking it back into his own mouth and sucking off the slickness.

You watch as he takes his finger out of your mouth soaked with a mix of your wetness and saliva. He pushes it into his mouth savoring you. You feel your pussy clench around nothing as he does that.

His eyes darken with lust as he sees your reaction to his actions. He groans, savoring the taste of you on his finger. "Fuck, you're delicious," he says hungrily. He can't help but press his palm against your pussy, feeling the heat radiating from between your legs. "You're so fucking wet, it's dripping down your thighs." His eyes flicker up to meet yours for a moment before he leans forward and uses that wet finger to circle your clit.

“Mmhp Matt.” you squirm and moan.

"What was that, princess?" he murmurs. He continues to circle your clit slowly and gently at first, but he increases the pace as he sees you squirm and moan, the wetness from your own arousal making it easy to glide. His other hand moves to gently grip your thigh, applying gentle pressure to spread your legs wider for him.

You cover your mouth with your hands trying to hide your moans and whimpers.

He chuckles at the futile attempt to muffle your sounds, clearly enjoying the way you struggle to contain quiet. He continues to pleasure you until he hears you stifle a moan behind your hands. "Don't hide that beautiful sound, sweetheart.” he murmurs, pulling your hands away slowly and bringing your fingers into your mouth instead. You suck on his fingers for a few seconds before he pushes them out. “I want to hear you scream my name," he says urgently, his own voice husky with desire. He moves down between your legs and replaces his fingers with his tongue, licking and sucking your clit.

“Mmh oh god Matt.” you desperately moan.

"That's it, princess. Say my name." He presses his tongue firmly against your clit and hums, sending a wave of pleasure through you. The vibrations make you arch your back as he holds onto your thighs, keeping you spread open for him. He smirks against you, feeling you growing wetter against his tongue, which is clearly loving the taste of you, as he is using his fingers to part your folds even more so that he can have easier access. "You taste so fucking good, princess. I could spend hours tasting every inch of you," he murmurs against your pussy, continuing to lick and suck your clit while he slides one finger into your wet pussy.

“Ahh Matt.” you moan in pain and pleasure, feeling his finger stretching you out for the first time.

"You're so fucking tight, princess. Does it hurt?" he coos, his tongue never leaving your clit. “Mhm” you nod. "Relax, princess. Just breathe," he coos, feeling your tightness around his finger. He slowly pumps it in and out, letting you get accustomed to the feeling. You keep letting out moans of pleasure and pain. He smirks against your pussy, pushing his finger deeper, crooking it to hit your g-spot. He could see the mix of pain and pleasure on your face, which made him push his finger in even deeper. "You're so tight.” He says slowly adding a second finger to the first one.

“Matt…Matt mhh.” you whimper in pain.

“Shhh. You're doing so well," His fingers curl inside you, stroking that sensitive spot, applying gentle pressure making you gasp and buck your hips. He lets out a low groan, feeling your walls clench around him. "Fuck, you're gripping me so tightly.” He groans. "You're being such a good girl, just try to breathe." He presses his tongue firmly against your clit, giving it attention as well.

Your moans of pain turn into moans of pleasure after a few minutes. “Mmh mhhp.”

He smirks against your pussy, pleased with the shift in your moans. His fingers continue to pump in and out, curling and stroking that spot inside you that makes you quiver. He adds a third finger, gently stretching you further, feeling your tight walls accommodate him. "You're doing so well, taking my fingers like a good little slut." He continues to finger fuck you, making sure he's hitting your g-spot repeatedly that makes your breathing becoming erratic and your legs tremble. His tongue doesn't leave your clit, applying different kinds of pressures as he continues to suck. "You taste like heaven." He says, his fingers pumping in and out of your tight pussy, curling and stroking that sensitive spot inside you. His tongue continues to flick and suckle your clit, making you feel like you're going to explode any moment.

“Mmh Matt … ahh I-”

"You're almost there, aren't you?" He can feel your pussy starting to clench and flutter around his fingers. His fingers curl and stroke hard across your g-spot, making sure you're right on the edge. He sucks harder on your clit, flicking his tongue in response to the way you clench around him. "Cum for me, darling." he growls against your sensitive clit, feeling you quiver and shake around his fingers. He pumps them faster, curling them deeper inside you, hitting that spot that makes your legs tremble, making you see stars. "Come on, princess, scream for me.” Before you could finish, he suddenly pulls his fingers out of you and replaces them with his tongue. He flicks his tongue against your g-spot, feeling it quiver beneath his touch. His fingers now focus on your clit, pinching and rolling it between his thumb and index finger. You finally cum. You come undone is his mouth and fingers. You let out a scream of pleasure as you do. He pulls back his fingers and removes his mouth from your pussy, leaving you quivering. He smirks at you, his fingers coated in your juices, licking them slowly, his eyes locked onto yours.

You look at him, your body still quivering a bit, and you're trying to catch your breath.

He watches you breathe heavily, your chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. He reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of your face, his hand lingering for a moment on your cheek. "You're absolutely gorgeous when you cum." he says with a satisfied smile. He admires your glistening pussy with a satisfied smirk. He leans in close and whispers in your ear, "You taste amazing, princess." His free hand moves up to your chin, gently guiding your face to meet his. He leans down and kisses you deeply, letting you taste yourself. His tongue slips in and out of your mouth with ease, mimicking the movement of what he was just doing to you. He gently strokes your quivering inner thighs, his fingers leaving trails of heat. He pulls you onto his lap, guiding you to straddle him. His erection is prominent against his pants, straining against the fabric.

You rest your head on his chest feeling tired.

He wraps his arms around you, holding you close. He runs his fingers through your hair and presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head. He can feel your heart still racing from your intense orgasm. "You okay, princess?" He murmurs softly, his hand gently stroking your back.

“Mhm” you nod softly.

He lifts your chin up to meet his gaze, his fingers tracing your jawline. “Good." He says with a small smile. He moves you off of his lap and lays you down gently on the bed, his body following yours before he wraps you up into a spooning position. His hand comes to rest on your waist as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder. “Did it feel good?” He asks.

“Yes” you reply as your cheeks turn pink.

He lets out a soft chuckle, nuzzling his face into your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your sensitive skin. “I love hearing that.” He murmurs before placing another kiss against your skin. He rests his hand against your stomach, pulling you closer. He starts to gently move his hips, pressing his erection against your ass as he grinds gently.

“Matt…”

He stops moving his hips, his hand stilling against your stomach. He kisses your neck gently, then whispers against your skin. “Yes, princess.”

“…. thank you” you say shyly.

“No need to thank me, doll. It’s my pleasure.” He says with a small smile that you can feel against your skin. He turns you around to face him, his hands cradling your face. He presses a soft kiss against your lips before pulling back and looking into your eyes. He sees the exhaustion and pleasure in them and can't help but smile softly. “You don't have to thank me, princess. I’m your best friend, right? I would do anything for you, that’s what best friends do.

He tilts your chin up, his thumb gently stroking your lower lip. He watches as you cuddle closer in his arms. His breath ruffling your hair and his hips gently moving, grinding against yours. But he stops himself before losing control. "We should probably get you cleaned up and in some comfortable clothes, huh?" He suggests, his voice still soft and soothing. His hand drifts down to your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Why don’t I run you a warm bath?”

“Can we stay here for a bit?” You softly ask, feeling tired.

He smiles softly, his thumb continuing to stroke your lower lip. "Of course, princess. We can stay right here." His other hand still on your thigh, he gives a gentle squeeze, his thumb rubbing small circles on your skin. He pulls a blanket over you both, tucking you in close to his side.

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[ravenstargames]

✦ LOST IN LIMBO DEVLOG #19 | 06.02.2025

Happy Pride month besties! 💜 Yes, this year too we'll have a Pride month piece, but it's in the making!

This month has been packed with concept art and getting the new update ready, so there's not that much to write about. Showing all the concept art would spoil the artbook, so apologies if this devlog looks shorter than it should. Don't worry, we are still going full-speed ahead! Let's jump into it!

World, meet your trustworthy sidekick, she who has had your back since the beginning—Evie!

You already know a bit of her; she likes everything related to the occult world, is a prime member of the Faybourne Waterpolo Club, and her favorite color is blue!

Evie's base sprite is finished, so now we gotta jump to her expressions. Those are fairly easy and quick (Raquel's words, not mine), so I expect to start coding kind of soon! ✨

Also, concept art on the MC's dear mom is done! So we've moved on to the sprite phase, and also started working on the concept art of MC's troublemaking grandmother. Kickstarter folks will have ✨juicy✨ previews on that content, so y'all will have to wait for a bit as per usual!

May has been Amon's month. I've been writing the first chapter of his route, as well as editing the prologue following our editor's guidelines. I think this month will be packed of corrections, and I'm excited to tackle them!

As y'all know, demo update 1.1.0 (now 1.1.1, as some characters were very insistent in partaking in some floating activities) went live! This month I've been working on patching stuff as well as refining the android build. I originally used two different projects for the PC version and the mobile one, but after lady and savior Feniks graced me with knowledge once more, I dipped my toes into Ren'py variants; and it's been going great! After publishing these devlogs, I'll start uploading the new android build everywhere 💜✨

Kayden has been working on more mini-CGs to enhance the ✨experience✨of the new prologue! Amongst those CGs, we have the Sovereign's hospitality in the shape of breakfast. I wonder who delivers it...?

So now that we've seen how the concept art / sprite part of it all works with Airyn's addition to the team, we're confident things will be up to speed in the upcoming months! Airyn works like a beast, has amazing ideas, and executes them flawlessly, with the addition of being a great friend of ours!

What else...I'm still working on my investigation plan (my PhD, hahaa...), Raquel is now taking driving lessons, and she's also been working on the Pride Month piece. We got a sketch yesterday but agreed to modify it a bit after some thought. Initially, Gael was going to be the one getting an illustration for Pride Month this year, but things didn't go as planned (Raquel was frustrated with not being able to come up with a good idea for him) and Amon has taken his place. Happens to the best of us!

Work this month has been good! A lot of concept and planning that we can't show (well, Kickstarter folks will see more of it) but that is vital for the development of the game. I'm not going to ramble a lot in this one—sometimes you've to go straight to the point!

Thank you everyone who played our 1.1.1 update; thank you for the comments, well-wishes, feedback, and everything else. Also, thanks for keeping our ask box lively and overflowing! 💜

Let's see each other around!

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

🔎 chapter one: “love is short but forgetting is so long”

🔎 chapter two: “did the love affair mail you too?”

chapter three: “you kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath” -> chapter four

summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

word count: +5k.

BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist

⋆˚࿔𝜗𝜚˚⋆

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arthurleclerc: AAAAAAAAAA need your feedback asap

arthurleclerc: which chapter are you on already? I cried on chapter 9 😭😭😭 so sad

arthurleclerc: i can't believe you're reading it tho

arthurleclerc: it's a beautiful book

arthurleclerc: she is really good with words i mean i SOBBED

arthurleclerc: when she said 'you kept me like a secret but i kept you like an oath. That's the difference. I was never important enough for you' let that shit sink in HEAVY

arthurleclerc: AND chapter 4????? Describes being in love so well it gave me chills i was thinking about carla the whole time

carlossainz: 🤨🤨🤨🤨 didnt know MY FRIEND charles READ ?????????

carlossainz: OH WAIT

landonorris: r u mad with me? I promise i won't hit on your ex 😔

landonorris: stop ignoring me charlie please 😭

⋆˚࿔𝜗𝜚˚⋆

He needed to be alone. It took him a few days to actually convince himself of reading it. After that nigh, he only could think of that fucking phrase: “just between us, did the love affair maim you too?”.

He took it personally. It did maim him. Of course it did. It still haunts him until now. Maybe Arthur was right. Maybe he needed to read that book to make a decision, whatever it may be, he had the feeling something was gonna change if he did. So he decided to take his yacht alone, and read, and spend time with himself. To reflect. He needed that.

The monaco sea was calmed so unlike he was in that moment, eyeing the pages rumbling around the thought of what was about to come when he started reading it for real. The sun was shining trying to keep him warm he thought, but he was shivering way too much by his liking. He found himself trapped in that feeling again. That feeling of not wanting to see the truth, to read how much he hurt her. 

But, maybe it was all fictional, right? Maybe Arthur didn't say it like it was about him, right? Maybe it was just another romance story of heartbreak. He shouldn’t take it so personally. It was not a big deal. He sighed. He didn't know what to believe but stopped hesitating much and jumped straight into chapter one. He ignored the greetings page. His anxiety just couldn't hold any more suspense. 

⋆˚࿔ the initial impact: the recognition of what he once was𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 “chapter one: through the doorway it’s where all begun” 

“The story begins with the protagonist walking through the door of her lover’s life for the first time. The air is cold and sharp, autumn biting at her cheeks, but there’s something warm and inviting in the atmosphere, something inexplicably familiar. She is a stranger in this house, yet she feels oddly at home. His sister’s voice carries from the kitchen, and laughter filters through the walls. 

The protagonist is nervous, her fingers clutching the scarf around her neck as if it’s her last piece of armor. She’s stepping into a new world—his world—and is eager yet afraid of what she’ll find. Her lover greets her with a smile that melts her tension. His sweet disposition calms her. He notices the little things—how she shivers, how she blushes, how she hesitates before hanging her scarf by the door. That scarf, left behind by accident later that night, becomes a symbol of the connection they’re building, a connection that feels like fate but is still so fragile.”

After reading the first chapter he just couldn’t function properly. Or that was what he believed in that moment. He felt reflected in that damn character. Recognizing himself through her eyes made him gutted. All the moments she described felt our memories described in so profound detail turned into poetry. His body hair bristled. It was indeed him. Not only physical description but the way he talks to her, those words are specific. He called her ‘cheri’. The way he used to call her. The way he described it all blew his mind. The way she portrayed the first initial moment of your story together. He started to feel like an idiot. He knew you loved him for real, but this just confirms it. The chapter felt like watching an old picture, he could identify when and where but with these many details and specific feelings, it gives the picture another meaning. It's not only a memory. The memory of you became a piece of art. His heart was racing and a knot formed in his throat. He wasn’t  sure if keeping on reading will help him in any way, but curiosity was stronger than he thought and pushed him for another one. At the same time he wondered why he was doing this to himself, but it shows just how he did not close this chapter of his life at all. She was still there hunting him. She was always in the back of his mind.he could hear her talk when he slept. She was still real in his head. By the way, reading all of that just felt like yesterday. 

⋆˚࿔A profound nostalgia for it all𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter two: the forgotten scarf’

‘Months later, the scarf sits in his drawer, forgotten by her but cherished by him. He doesn’t admit to anyone that he keeps it there, hidden under his old T-shirts. For him, it represents the innocence of their beginning, a time when love was simple and pure.

For her, the scarf is a fleeting memory. She remembers leaving it at his sister’s house but doesn’t think much of it. Yet every time the cold wind brushes against her neck, she feels its absence. She misses something she can’t name, and the scarf—though she doesn’t know it—is tied to that feeling. This chapter reflects on the weight of small objects and how they hold memories that people cannot let go of, even when the relationships tethered to them unravel.’

He was sure this chapter was fictional but he was really impressed by the way she portrayed the two faces of the same coin represented by the scarf that was left behind. He kind of thought about all of the presents he gave you, did you still have them? How did they make you feel? Did you still remember the backstory of every single one of them? Or maybe you just burned them after what he did to you. 

🧣 ‘chapter three: an upstate scape’

‘It’s a spontaneous road trip, one of those unplanned adventures that make life feel limitless. They’re driving upstate, the roads winding through fiery autumn landscapes. The protagonist’s wide-eyed wonder contrasts with his confident ease as he navigates the unfamiliar terrain.

They roll the windows down, letting the cold air rush in, mixing with the sound of their voices as they sing along to an old playlist. She looks at him, studying the way his hands grip the steering wheel, how his profile looks against the golden light of the setting sun. For a moment, she believes this is what happiness looks like—two people lost in the simplicity of the moment, away from the world.

As they stop by the side of the road to admire the leaves, she feels a sense of inevitability, as if everything in her life has led to this moment. But there’s an undercurrent of fear too—what if something so perfect is too good to last?’

He had a few tears stuck to his eyes. The way she described that road trip to the mountains just out of curiosity and wanting to get away from all of your responsibilities. You described it just like it happened but put all of your feelings around it. Now, he really knows how you’ve always felt about him back then. If he had any doubts about it, they wear clear ice now. You felt that love looked like him, in that moment, right there, with him. He made you feel happy and he rapid you like that? He just let himself cry. He actually hated himself so much at this moment. 

He couldn’t bear the feeling of what he actually did to you. Because even back then he had already met Alex, because she was a friend of a guy who was friends with him around that time. She was there, he saw her. Yet, he still came back to you everytime until he couldn't resist the temptation. He cheated on you. But that was something he promised to bury with himself. Now, there was no point in mentioning it. He can pretend it never existed. That’s what he thought was the best for everyone. The only one who knew it was Alex and he knew her all too well that she wouldn't be able to say it either because she doesn't look good at all as well. 

He stopped reading. He couldn't anymore, at least for now. He came back to the city, wanting to run away to his house and hide between his pillows. He was a 35 year old man with teenage emotional issues. He felt a bit ashamed. But who could blame him? He dedicated his whole life to racing. That was his job. He didn't have time to reflect on his life decisions until he had to retire due to knee injury during his, actually, last race here, in monaco. How ironic, where everything began, everything ended. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The house was really quiet when he arrived. The weather was colder than expected. Wind started to blow a bit violently. He closed all of his windows and got into his pajamas. He wasn’t that hungry so that was all for the day. He took the book with him, not sure if he wanted to keep reading but he saw Arthur's messages to his story on instagram and he stayed rambling about it. What if he took just a few minutes to read the following chapter and break his heart for once and all? Was he scared? Yes, he was scared to death. She was in fact way too good with words, touching all of his soft or injured spots. 

He sled into bed making himself comfortable, as if it could keep him sane. He grabbed a pillow to hug and the book after putting on his reading glasses. He needed to hold something onto him. He felt really lonely. He felt miserable. He lost you over stupid and superficial feelings, when you were there waiting for him to marry you. 

He didn’t know if he’ll be able to forgive himself for it.

⋆˚࿔The pain of feeling reflected𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣  ‘chapter four: are you real?’

‘The story takes a deeper dive into their personalities. The protagonist is curious and eager, a dreamer who sees beauty in the smallest details. She notices the way his laugh lines crease when he smiles and the tenderness in his voice when he talks about his family. She feels like a child discovering the world through him.

He is steady and calm, but there’s a sadness in his eyes that she can’t quite place. He has a sweet disposition that masks his fear of vulnerability. This chapter explores how they balance each other—her lightness lifting his heaviness, his groundedness keeping her from floating away.

Their differences are part of what draws them together, but as the chapter closes, subtle hints suggest that these differences might also be what pulls them apart.’

🧣 ‘chapter five: the begging of the end’ 

‘A seemingly insignificant moment becomes pivotal. They’re driving through a quaint little town, the kind of place where time feels slower. She’s pointing out the decorations in the shop windows when he glances over at her, his eyes filled with something unspoken.

“Watch the road!” she laughs, but her heart skips a beat. He almost runs a red light, and they both burst into nervous laughter. The thrill of it, the recklessness, mirrors the intensity of their feelings.

As they walk down the town’s main street later, hand in hand, she feels invincible. The wind tangles her hair, and the crisp air fills her lungs. It’s a moment she knows she’ll remember forever, even if she doesn’t understand why it feels so significant at the time.’

🧣 ‘chapter six: enough for you’ 

‘This chapter brings the reader into his family home, a place filled with the echoes of his childhood. His mother pulls out a photo album, eager to share stories. The protagonist learns about the little boy he used to be—a shy kid with glasses who loved baseball but never quite fit in.

As she listens, she starts to piece together the man she loves, seeing how his past shaped him. But she also feels a pang of sadness. He talks about his dreams, but there’s a hesitation in his voice, as if he’s unsure of his place in the world. She wonders if she can be the person who helps him find it, but the weight of that responsibility begins to settle on her.’

Between a few lines he had to take breaks.but he couldn't stop reading. He needed more and more, addicted to the words and how she portrayed his attitudes towards her. Feeling addicted to the pain of seeing himself like that. He was an asshole. All because he believed something that was a lie he fabricated to private himself of something real. To push her away. To Protect him from getting hurt. What you had was beautiful but he had to break it. It was too beautiful to be real, he thought. He was insecure and scared. Scared of how much feelings he had for you and how much power that implied. He read every single page slowly, catching up every reference to you, to him, to what you called ‘ours’ so dearly. He fucked it up. He really fucked it up. 

He just needed a break from it. He decided to take a shower and go to sleep or try to. Now, he couldn't stop seeing your face with mascara falling down your face along with your tears the day he left. The day he left you and all of his most vulnerable parts of him with you. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Two days passed by really quickly in his opinion. He couldn’t dare to read another word from that fucking book until now. He woke up feeling ready again to confront the worst part of it. And to do so, as he likes to be his own biggest enemy, he went to the coffee shop that once was the restaurant he left you behind in. It was a pretty masochistic maneuver. But he didn't care anymore. After what he read the other day, his heart was already broken knowing how much he broke you down and didn't realize it sooner. 

It was a really cold, windy and grey day in monaco. He hated this weather so much. He went by foot, taking his time to do some breathing techniques that could help his anxiety. He looked dead in his opinion. Immsonio has been his best friend these past few days. He just didn't want to close his eyes knowing all he would see was your face. How you didn't smile at him back that afternoon. How you cried when he left you for another woman. And your smile when he asked you the first time. It's been 10 years, yet he didn't forget about the way your skin felt when he touched you, what used to be your favorite movie and how he always remembered you when he passed by a flower shop because you used to love flowers so much. And as his mission used to be to make you happy, he would buy you flowers everyday if he could. 

He slapped himself out of his mind when he realized he was thinking too much about you and the past, torturing himself with every random memory he could come up with. He really felt his brain hated him even though he is the one in control anyway. 

He stepped in the coffee shop making the bell on the door sound. It was chilly and there were only a few people. Fortunately it wasn't crowded so if he cried no one would notice. 

He chose to sit at the last table, on the darkest corner. He wanted to feel safe, and that spot made him feel he was very well hidden. He was playing so many mind games just to survive his own mind and emotions lately. 

He got comfy on his chair made out of chiffon. It was good, he thought. He was nervous. He in the deepest place of his heart, coming here was just to see you again. And maybe run to you and beg you to forgive him. But that was only a movie that played nonstop in his brain. You were nowhere to be found. He hoped you chose this place regularly to write as you were that day he saw you, but apparently it was just his imagination. Now he was sure you only came here on occasions or maybe that was the only time you came. Why would you come regularly to the place where he tore your life apart? He was sure you weren’t as masochistic as he was. You were the sane one, he bet. Probably you had a boyfriend who truly loved you and made plans with your nephews, like going to the beach and chasing birds or picnics at the square. You loved picnics and being outdoors. You wrote that down in your books. You were the only person he knew that enjoyed road trips so much. Just sitting there, observing everything, chatting and doing carpool karaoke. He remembered on a road trip like that he kissed you for the first time. You had that friends to lovers story. You don't trust people that easily. It was hard for you to lose your dad a year before he did. You didn't have that many friends. You were really reserved yet so sweet to everyone. You were just really selective. You didn't want to get attached to the wrong people. And then there he was, breaking everything apart: your trust, your self esteem, everything.

God, he hated himself. He hated himself so much he kept on reading right there where he ruined his life, your life. 

⋆˚࿔Pain in real time𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter seven: ticking bomb’

‘It’s late at night, and they’re in his tiny apartment, dancing to a song playing softly from the radio. The refrigerator hums in the background, casting a dim light that bathes them in warmth.

She feels safe here, wrapped in his arms, laughing as he spins her around. It’s one of those moments where the rest of the world fades away, and all that exists is the two of them.

But as the music fades, a sense of fragility creeps in. She wonders if happiness like this can last or if it’s destined to slip through her fingers like everything else she’s ever loved.’

🧣 ‘chapter eight: lost in translation’

‘Misunderstandings begin to pile up. They argue over small things that feel bigger than they are. She starts to question if she’s asking for too much—more time, more effort, more love. He grows distant, retreating into his thoughts, unable to articulate what’s wrong.

This chapter captures the slow unraveling of their relationship, the way love can be chipped away by silence and unspoken words. They’re still together, but the cracks are starting to show’.

He was fighting his tears but he promised he will be strong. Biting his lip became an usual because of anxiety, he thought his lips would fall out. This time around he highlighted every phrase that caught his attention. He wanted to remember how such of a dick he was. 

She felt too much.

And he felt too little. 

They really got lost in translation. He was scared he became cold, she was so in love she became desperate. He didn't realize that and he was sure she didn't know what he was going through. He felt lame. If only he would have talked about it. Communication is a skill he didn't have back then, but did he have it now? He was no better with Alex but at least he was real and didn't cheat on her. 

That didn't make him feel better either. He was guilty, very guilty. Hands dirty. How would he even try to talk to her again? He was sure he didn't deserve her. After all this damage she wouldn’t even be near him like that. Yeah, he was considering what Carlos told him but to be fair he felt it was impossible.

The waitress left his coffee on the table and thanked her with a half smile. He thought she recognized him even though he was going grey already. But she didn't say anything and left him to enjoy his coffee and croissant. And his book of course though he looked really gutted. 

🧣 ‘chapter nine: a crumpled up piece of paper’

‘The breakup is devastating. He calls her, his voice cold and detached, and ends it with a blunt honesty that feels like a knife to her chest.

She’s left reeling, feeling like a crumpled piece of paper discarded on the floor. This chapter delves into her grief, the way heartbreak can make time feel endless and unbearable. She tries to forget him, but every corner of her world is filled with reminders’

She felt like a thing, an object. A broken record. An insignificant piece of paper. Of course he cried. He even brought his handkerchieves. 

He remembered he couldn't be there any longer. He just wanted to run away and he did. And that was selfish as hell. Incredibly selfish. He was so much thinking about himself and his feelings he forgot that she was part of the relationship too. That she also had feelings. He didn’t even let her ask him whatever she needed. He left her there eating her own words. He sobbed a little in silence hiding on his arm on the table trying to calm himself down. When did he think coming here to read this was even a good idea to begin with?

‘and i know it’s long gone and that magic’s not here no more’

‘You taught me about your past, thinking your future was me’ 

‘You kept me like a secret, but i kept you like an oath’

‘You called me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest’

‘They say all’s well that ends well, but i’m a new hell every time’

‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy , ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you’ 

Those last sentences ended with him. It was the worst one of them all. She confirmed he was selfish as fuck.  That made him so mad at himself. He felt ashamed and disappointed. Like, how can people actually love him? He had to disagree with carlo. He was indeed a monster. He was so distraught he had to leave that damn coffee shop as soon as possible. He left the money for everything he didn't even have and tip on top, and sprinted out of there just like you did when you saw him. How could he blame you? He was running scared from himself at that moment.or he tried because unfortunately he couldn't stop being himself. And accepting all of this was the hardest part. Arthur didn't give him a disclaimer and maybe that was the plan all along but now he was angry with him. Although he knew the only guilty was him. he also kept you like a secret, he didn't tell anyone about you. he was guilt of all charges. and he wasn't proud of himself for doing so.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ 

The next few days, he came back every time to that coffee shop. Almost everyday. Desperate at the thought that maybe he would find you there. He didn't have a clue of what he would do if he saw you, but for some odd reason he wanted to see you. He didn't know anything about you. He didnt know which places you frequented. Neither where would you like to spend your time rather than your house. 

Of course, he didn't see you. And on one hand he was relieved but at the same time tortured. He gave up my tuesday. It was a beautiful sunny day. He came to visit Carlos and when he left home he decided he was gonna end the book. He was avoiding the balcony, your garden. Though, your house was really quiet, almost as if you weren't there. Maybe you didn't have your special someone yet. Or maybe you did and you were on holiday. 

He stopped himself from keeping on wondering nonsense shit he didn't know if it was real or not. He sat down on the sofas Carlos had near the pool with a blanket and a bottle of water. The sun was keeping him warm. The booked shined being reflected. He did unconsciously look over to your house as quietly as a few minutes ago when he last checked. It’s been two weeks since he last saw you. Or minutes ago when he sees you everytime he closes his eyes. 

⋆˚࿔ Self evaluation and reflection 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter ten: time stands still’ 

‘Weeks turn into months, but time feels frozen. The protagonist struggles to move on, yearning for her old self—the person she was before she met him. She looks back on the “plaid shirt days” when everything felt simpler and wonders if she’ll ever feel whole again’.

Reading this chapter sent shivers down his spine. Hefelt she was describing exactly how he felt at that moment. The only difference in this book was writing at least 7 years ago (he googled you. You were pretty famous and he didn't know that), and he was feeling this right now. 

He wanted to go back in time and stay there, in the days he would wake up by your kisses and spend the days in bed laughing and gossiping about anything and everything. Back when innocence was part of your bond, so pure that it felt unbreakable. 

So sad it was just a feeling and not a fact. 

He wanted to punch himself in the face right there and then.

🧣 ‘chapter eleven: what was left’

‘From his perspective, the scarf remains a constant reminder of her. He can’t bring himself to throw it away because it still smells like her. It represents the innocence they lost, the love he didn’t know how to hold onto.

The chapter alternates between their perspectives, showing how they’re both haunted by the past in different ways.’

He laughed. How ironic life can be sometimes, right? This felt worse than the Ferrari strategy. But it felt real just like them. He couldn’t believe that even though she didn't know anything about him except from what she could see on the internet or tv, she knew perfectly how he felt. He was in a kind of panic. How could she?

🧣 ‘chapter twelve: back before we lost the one real thing we’ve ever known’ 

‘The protagonist revisits their happiest moments, remembering the rare connection they shared. She acknowledges that even though it’s gone, it was real, and that’s what makes it so hard to let go.’

‘I’d like to be my old shelf again but I’m still trying to find her’

‘And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?’

‘There we are again when I love you so, back before we lost the one real thing we’ve ever known’

He closed the book for a moment. Hanging into the mixed feeling he carried. He was looking nowhere. Deep thinking. She captured things he didn't understand until he read them. How? It was something so special, why? Why did I let her down? So many questions to so few limited answers. 

⋆˚࿔Admiration𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter thirteen: remembering all too well’

‘The book closes with her accepting the weight of her memories. She realizes she doesn’t have to forget to move on. The love, the pain, the lessons—they’re all part of her story now. And while she’ll always remember it all too well, she’s ready to step forward into the unknown’.

He finally finished the book. It took you two weeks to go through it all. All he could think was ‘wow’. This was incredibly hard to read but how brave of her to write all of this. How strong she had to be. How brave to be so vulnerable. That’s something he won’t ever comprehend, he is so scared of being vulnerable. Always trying to be tight and invincible. It helped in racing but in life really complex things took place, not so much. 

He felt admiration, as the first time he saw you painting at the beach a beautiful piece of art. He wondered if you still paint. How ironic he left you for Alex, he thought. Even though he knew all of this was fictional, he knew you. Or he likes to think he does. He knew all of the phrases and thought that fit your character perfectly. He knew it was him and she was you. He was so trapped in his own feelings that he didn't realize how much you were giving to him. You gave him your everything and more. Now he gets it. It was incredible to him you created art with the pain he put you under. And even if he hated himself for that, he felt kind of grateful he could contribute to such a beautiful thing like this one. 

The love that was once there, he knew it still there. He knew all too well he felt it.

As he fell in love with you all over again.

“Charlie, mi amor! It's party night tonight! Woohoooo!” Carlos came out of nowhere and jumped on him funny, scaring him for a second.

“A party? On a tuesday?” Charles was confused but couldn't help laughing. Carlos always makes him laugh and his friendship was really important to him. He always likes to say to Carlos it’s the best thing racing gave him. 

“Why not pup? Don’t be old. When was your last party? You’re getting grey and anciano, help yourself a bit with vodka man! And women” he said with a mischievous smile moving his eyebrows at him funny. Charles laughed, shaking his head.

“Alright, alright. Let’s have fun for once” he surrendered to his friend and his ideas. 

“Woohoo. Get ready, we’ll go to buy everything right now. And Charles, please, get rid of that book mate. You need to move on" Carlos said to his best friend disappearing into the house leaving Charles alone again. 

“I wish i could” he said under his breath resigned and grabbed the book going into the house and left it on his backup. he thought it was a bit contradicting of what he told him a few nights ago but carlos tends to change his mind very quickly about things so it was no surprise for charles. 

Carlos was already waiting for him at the door shaking the keys of his ferrari on his fingers making charles laugh.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter four: here.

tag list: : @a-beaverhausen , @priniya , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16

author's note: writing this made me sad :( this took me so long to write my eyes hurt, but want it to be good <3

do we or do we not sympathize with charlie? i'll read you 👀

(sonny thank you for giving me this idea)

don't forget to reblog, comment or like! and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

[anniebeckcalla]

ꜱᴋᴇʟᴇᴛᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇᴛ

a secret relationship with the dreamies

(bf! dream x reader) ◦ wc:809 ◦ ₊ cw: fluff, kissing, light skinship ◦ ₊ lowercase on purpose! ◦ ₊ navigation.

ღ calla's note: this post failed to upload 4 TIMES. ("tumblr went bang" is what the description told me. I was about to go bang as well don't even play with me) anyway I hope this post is worth my persistence. I appreciate you all so much.

mark

the door shut behind you both as you staggered in, lips pressed tightly together, your breath coming out in heavy pants. mark pressed you against the wall, but you pulled away suddenly, pushing him away gently. ‘we shouldn't be doing this, mark. not right now.” mark’s eyebrows curved in a frown for a moment, but then he composed himself. “when will it ever be a good time, baby?” he muttered, taking your hips and pulling you towards him. you sighed, stroking the cropped hair at the back of his head when he nestled it upon your shoulder. “one day, when everyone knows about us, it'll be all day, I promise.”

jeno

the room was crowded to the brim with happy party goers of all ages; from the crawling tots to the wobbly elders. you yawned as you checked your watch- parties like this tended to tire you out. you'd only come for your best friend, as it was her family's party- oh, and her older brother…you looked up from your watch to see jeno gazing directly at you from directly across the room, his mouth raised slightly in a smile. your ears and cheeks flushed as he tilted his head in a slight nod, a subtle reminder of how much he ached to be beside you instead of what felt like poles apart.

jaemin

with one arm casually draped across the back of your seat, jaemin maneuvered the car into a shady alley, eyes trained on the back window. at last, the car came to a stop. “this should be secluded enough for us,’ he concurred. his gaze softened as his eyes landed on your lips, and he cupped your face with one hand as he leaned in to kiss you. you took your time to kiss him; there was no rush. nobody would find you two here. jaemin pulled away gently, staying so close that your lips were still brushing. “i can't wait until we can do this without having to hide away,” he whispered, his thumb caressing your jawline.

jisung

“did you do something nice with your hair today?” the girl had a huge smile plastered on her face, eyes sparkling as she gazed up at jisung. jisung smiled, but he wasn't looking at the girl. he was gazing across at you. “yes. i decided to do something special today,” he replied. “for someone i love dearly.” you beamed back at jisung, your heart bursting with more affection than you thought it could contain. none of jisung's admirers meant anything to him. it was only you, and nobody else. even if you two had to keep it on the low for now.

haechan

you let out a sigh of delight as haechan tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his hands caressing your waist with gentle strokes. you suddenly broke apart as the door shook; someone was trying to get in. you watched on in horror, trembling slightly even after the rattling stopped. “good thing i secured that door shut first, right?” haechan laughed, pointing to the sliding lock at the top of the door. he held his arms open as he walked back towards you. “i am a genius.” “don't praise yourself too much,” you laughed as haechan wrapped his arms around your waist to resume the embrace.

renjun

you yawned as you opened your eyes, smiling as you wrapped your arms around renjun's waist. in response, he traced lazy circles on your back, you nestled your head further into the nook of his neck, inhaling his soft smell of citrus and talc. whilst you were already at home, in your bedroom, your true abode was wherever renjun was. your phone pinged suddenly, and you leaned over to pick it up.

‘mum- i'll be home in 5 minutes!'

“you're going to have to go, renjun,” you sighed, and renjun nodded sadly, getting up immediately. “text me when I can come back, okay?” he said. you forced a smile on your face. “it won't always be like this-”

“I know, y/n, i know.”

chenle

“you never said we were coming to an abandoned basketball court!” you picked leaves off your jersey as you tried not to lose your balance from where you were squatted near a clump of nettles amongst other debris. chenle prodded gently at a thorn scratch on his cheek. “well, at least nobody would think to look here!” he smiled. “we're well and truly alone.” you rolled your eyes, but not unkindly. “I get the sentiment.” chenle shuffled closer to you. “I promise that I'll take you somewhere nice one day,” he said, taking your hand in his. “then we'll make it an official first date. we'll go anywhere you want.” you laid your head on his shoulder. “as long as we're together, I don't mind too much.”

◦ ₊

comments are greatly appreciated (　＾ω＾)

masterlist

taglist: @cigsaftersuh @jenoleeaesthetic @pl4netx1a @jeonghansshitester @herjaemin @chenlezip (thank you so much)

click!

[honeypiehotchner]

The Gambit (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part twenty-three

Once again, don't say a word, yes I'm uploading AGAIN, I can't help it!! I want to get to the fluffy weekend chapters!!!

Warnings: some good big brother bonding with Morgan and reader, Derek talks about the events of s2e12 "Profiler, Profiled" here, more curveballs lowkey I'm getting whiplash here (you'll see), apologies in advance (it felt too easy!!! so sorry!!!)

When you peel yourself away from Hotch, it’s only because there’s a knock at his door. The sound makes you jump and him stand to his feet, his hands slipping from yours automatically. 

He walks to the door and opens it a crack, pausing. He looks over his shoulder once at you before opening the door further.

Rossi eyes you both as he walks into Hotch’s office. “Am I interrupting?”

“No,” you say immediately, standing up. “I was just leaving, actually.”

Rossi gives you a look that tells you he sees right through you, but he doesn’t press as you weave through them and exit Hotch’s office. 

The team is just coming out of the conference room when you step out, pausing as you stare at one another.

You don’t know what to say. If you can even say anything. 

“Should we um…” You pause to clear your throat. “Should we go back to looking at all the evidence?”

“In a minute,” Morgan says. “Let’s take a walk first.”

You open your mouth, but Morgan hears none of it, shaking his head as he comes toward you, leading you out of the bullpen.

“Where are we going?”

“To get breakfast for everyone for the long day ahead of us,” Morgan replies, pressing the down arrow on the elevator. “And to get you calmed down.”

“I’m plenty calm.”

“You’re shaking.”

The elevator doors open and you step inside, glaring at the buttons on the wall instead of your team member. You press the ground floor button with a huff, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the fact that you are definitely not shaking.

Neither of you say a word as you walk to Derek’s car in the parking garage, parked in his same spot as usual. Derek breaks the silence with an insane question.

“Do you…want to stop somewhere for…cigarettes?”

You can’t help but laugh loudly at the way he says it. “No, dude, I’m fine.”

“Alright,” he says, turning the key in the ignition. “Was just asking.”

“Why?” you laugh again. “Last time that was brought up you were horrified.”

“Well,” he shrugs, not arguing with that. He pulls out of the space and heads for the exit. “That was before everything started imploding.”

You scoff. “Imploding puts it a little too nicely. But no, I’m fine, that was my one pack for the year, so I’m cut off.”

Morgan raises an eyebrow. “One a year?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “A rule I had with my mom. She never liked that I picked up the habit — didn’t find out why until later, but my dad smoked, too, and tried to hide it from her — so we made a deal. One pack a year.”

“And you stuck to it?”

“Surprisingly, yeah,” you reply. “Some days I don’t know how I did it, but I guess I just didn’t want to let her down.”

Morgan hums. “That feeling can run deep.”

“Especially after what happened with my dad,” you agree. “I knew she couldn’t take another thing, so when we compromised and made promises, we stuck to them.”

Morgan nods. “Mine too.”

A comfortable silence fills the car as Morgan drives into town, to one of the chain coffee spots that has a drive-thru. They know the BAU well from their frequent — and sometimes random — orders.

As you wait in one of the nearby parking spaces for your order to be prepared, Morgan starts talking again.

“Did I ever tell you about a case in my hometown a few years ago?”

You shake your head. “I don’t think so.”

“I was arrested as a suspect for the murder of one of the neighborhood kids,” he explains. “I was in town for my mom’s birthday, and one of the detectives had always had it out for me, he saw a connection and booked me. Hotch and everyone came to find the real unsub and get me out of there.”

“Oh my god,” you say, unsure of how else to respond to this. “But they did figure it out, obviously, right, because you’re here, and still at the BAU?”

Morgan nods, keeping his eyes focused ahead of him. “They did. But the team had to do a lot of digging into my past to find answers. Because I wasn’t willing to share those parts of my life.”

“Right.” You look down at your hands, seeing exactly where he’s going with this now.

“Garcia unsealed some of my records, Hotch practically interrogated me as if I was the unsub,” Morgan laughs, the kind of bitter sound that tells you it wasn’t funny then, it isn’t exactly funny now, but it’s less painful than it used to be. “I kept secrets because I wanted my privacy — and I still do. I still think we each have a right to our privacy, no matter how much we see each other all the damn time,” he smiles. “But I also know things might’ve gone smoother if I had opened up a little more.”

You shake your head. “That’s not on you, Derek. Just because things might have gone smoother doesn’t mean you were wrong for trying to salvage what little privacy you had left.”

“I know that,” he says. “I’m saying two things can be true at once. You can be mad at Hotch for going behind your back and digging into your past without your permission. And you can let yourself accept that he was doing what he thought was right and what he thought had to be done in order to help you.”

You sink further into the passenger seat, resisting the urge to glare at Derek. “How’d you know I’ve been battling that one in my head?”

Morgan smiles then, wide and mischievous. “You’re an open book whether you like it or not.”

“Or maybe we’re just so similar that you’re projecting and it just happens to be correct.”

“Like I said, two things can be true at once.”

You roll your eyes that time, playfully shoving his shoulder. “I hate you.”

“No, no you love me.”

“Barely.”

“Ouch.”

“Quit being dramatic and put your window down, they’re bringing our food out.”

Once the bags of breakfast are safely tucked at your feet and the drink carrier is secured in your lap, Morgan heads back for the BAU.

“Thank you,” you finally say. “For the Big Brother talk.”

He glances at you, looking only slightly surprised. “You’re welcome. Anytime.”

“Did you and Hotch ever talk about it?” you blurt.

Morgan is unfazed by the question, though. “Yeah. We did.” He pauses. “I’m assuming you guys haven’t?”

“Well,” you scoff. “We haven’t exactly had the time.”

“Touché,” Morgan nods. “I think you should. At some point.”

Like this weekend, your mind fills in for you. It would be the perfect time. The two of you will be alone, with Rossi’s entire place to yourselves. It would be easy for you to pitch the conversation or try to steer one in that direction — or, fuck it, blurt it out at one point just to rip the bandaid off. 

“Yeah,” you say. “At some point.”

+++

“Everything okay?” Rossi asks Hotch after they watch you practically bolt from the room.

Hotch shuts the door. “Fine. I was going to ask you the same, since you followed Erin out of here.”

Rossi’s on-again, off-again relationship with Erin Strauss is no secret, at least not to Hotch. It’s something he’s known about for years, having confronted Dave about it after noticing one too many not-so-subtle gestures from his friend.

But that’s not what this was about this time.

“She wants us to get to the bottom of this. Like, yesterday,” Rossi says.

“Well,” Hotch pauses to rub the headache brewing under his eyebrow. “Tell her she can join the club.”

That makes both men let out an incredulous laugh.

“What the hell are we doing here, Aaron?” Dave finally asks. “It feels like we get thrown a curveball every single day. Richard Monroe just breaks out of prison out of nowhere? Are we supposed to think the unsub helped him? Are we supposed to think Richard is going to go after Lila now?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron admits. “I don’t understand any of it. And nothing that we find seems to land us any closer than we were to figuring out who is doing all of this.”

“I know,” Rossi sighs. “I asked her last night if she remembers anything about who kidnapped her.”

“And?” Hotch sounds too hopeful, he knows he does.

Rossi shakes his head. “She might have seen his face, but she has blocked it out. What she remembered was him telling her to put the clothes she was wearing the day he took her back on, so that she’d match the description when we found her. But he was taking care of her. Giving her changes of clothes, food, water, letting her shower with a lock inside the bathroom door. She said she felt safe, despite everything. If she did see his face, she blocked it out, and it’s been two decades, Aaron. There’s no way she’d remember it now, and if she did, we couldn’t trust it to be accurate, not after this long.”

Hotch hates it, but Rossi is right. With so much time having passed, it’s no use. 

“There’s something we’re missing,” Hotch turns and heads for the window, gazing at the horizon as he thinks. “When we spoke to Richard in prison, he said his daughter was supposed to be left out of it.”

“Okay…”

“So, if the unsub we’re looking for is the same person who kidnapped Lila, and the same person from twenty years ago,” Hotch talks himself in circles, “and Richard recognized her in the interrogation room that day— he’s the heart of this, but how?”

“And now he’s missing,” Rossi muses.

“Or running,” Hotch adds, then turns around to face Rossi, something clicking in his mind. “Richard had someone framed. He admitted to that.”

“But we checked on that, the man was out on parole, it was lifted once Richard admitted to everything.”

“Where is he now?”

The pair stare at one another before Hotch practically leaps for his desk to make the necessary phone calls.

As it rings, Hotch turns to Rossi, “Get Garcia to bring up everything on him — including whatever he was doing twenty years ago — and meet us in the conference room.”

Rossi nods and leaves so Hotch can handle the calls. It’s not a definite lead, but it’s something, and it’s someone that they can potentially speak to.

+++

When you and Morgan arrive back at the BAU, you don’t expect to walk into such a flurry of chaos when you enter the bullpen.

“We might have a lead,” Prentiss explains. “Come on.”

You nearly drop the drinks as you hurry up the stairs to the conference room, joining JJ, Garcia, and Reid. “Where’s Hotch?”

“On the phone,” Rossi answers from behind you. “He’ll be in in just a second.”

Garcia starts anyway. “Does anyone remember Maxwell Herman?” She barely gives anyone a second to answer before continuing. “I doubt it, because we looked at him for all of two seconds when you were investigating Lila Monroe’s kidnapping, but here he is.” 

She points the remote at the screen and pictures fly onto it, one being Maxwell’s mugshot. The one next to it being his arrest record.

“This is the man Richard Monroe admitted to having framed,” Garcia continues. “Was on parole, that was lifted once Richard admitted to everything, you know the rest. Now, what you don’t know is that’s not his real name.”

She clicks again and a new mugshot appears, one of a younger man. Twenty years younger. 

“Meet William Easton from Georgia, with such a crazy rap sheet that I have no idea how he was able to change his name and entire identity without someone catching on. But anyway, he was arrested for anything you can name. Including but not limited to: Attempted arson, attempted armed robbery, actual armed robbery, DUI, domestic dispute, aggravated assault, and the kicker, attempted homicide.”

“Attempted?” Reid blurts.

“They never quite found enough evidence to convict him, but—”

“He was a suspect,” Rossi says. “In the original murders in Atlanta, before we connected them to Adkins. Before the BAU stepped in.”

“What?” you blurt, that being the absolute last thing you were expecting to hear, despite knowing somehow that your father was connected.

“They caught him in the area one too many times,” Rossi continues. “They thought it was because he was the unsub, but it turned out he was just a creep with a record who was fascinated by the killings.”

“Wanna see something else crazy?” Garcia adds. “Here’s the sketch that the artist came up with after speaking to Lila.” She clicks again so the sketch is side by side William’s most recent mugshot. The likeness isn’t exact, but it’s enough to be worrisome.

Hotch comes into the conference room, phone pressed to his ear. “Thank you.” He ends the call to fill everyone in. “Officers are on their way to William’s home, they’re going to call once they’ve apprehended him.”

“For what?” you ask. “If he was on parole, he couldn’t leave the house to kidnap a child.”

“No, but he could convince a child he was their father and make them come to him,” Morgan answers. “If he had good behavior, he could leave the house for a short period to meet her somewhere and grab her.”

“Exactly,” Hotch agrees. You can feel his eyes on you as you stare at the screen, at the mugshot and the sketch. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head. “Just…strange that we might have a face to put to all of this now.” Too easy, almost. Though nothing leading up to this point has been easy, this feels too easy.

You wish you hadn’t had that thought. It’s almost like you jinxed it somehow, even though you didn’t speak it out loud.

Because no less than ten minutes later, Hotch’s phone rings, and you can see on his face that it’s bad news.

“Alright, don’t— Don’t touch anything. My team and I will be there as soon as we can.”

When he hangs up the phone, everyone waits, their breaths held, for his next words.

“They found William dead in his apartment,” Hotch says. “Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, I want you with me, we’ll be leaving in ten minutes. Everyone else,” he conveniently avoids your eyes, “stay here and continue digging. Richard Monroe might not be missing, he might be running from our unsub.”

“How do you know that?” you ask. “And why am I not going with you?”

“Because the unsub left a note on William’s body,” Hotch replies, ever firm and clinical. “And I need you to stay here.”

“Hotch—”

“I don’t have time to argue about this, we’ll be back before the end of the day,” he says, his voice softer, but that doesn’t help. Just because he doesn’t yell at you doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt — once again being shown by his actions that he thinks you can’t handle something.

“Fine, then, just go,” you look back up at William’s face on the screen. “We’ll be here when you get back.”

Everyone leaves quickly, except Hotch who lingers a bit in the doorway, like there are words just at the tip of his tongue. He calls your name once, but you shake your head.

“Go,” you repeat, just barely looking at him over your shoulder. “Take some food for the plane,” you gesture to the breakfast that is nearly forgotten. “Go.”

[astars-things]

Positive Pt 2

*photos are from Pinterest I do not own them

please do not copy and or upload my work as your own

802 words

(Pairing- Jack Hughes x Sister!Reader, Quinn Hughes x Sister!Reader, Luke Hughes x Sister!Reader)

a month had gone by since those two pink lines changed my life.  A month of morning sickness, exhaustion, and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was going to be a mom.

At seventeen. 

my mom and I decided it was best for me to finish the year doing online school, it was for the best, trying to keep everything on the down low because I knew if people found out I would be named the school slut or that I was attention seeking. So to keep me and my baby safe this was the best decision. 

telling my mom, dad and brothers that I was pregnant but telling my "boyfriend" I'm carrying his child is the most scariest one 

I stood in front of my mirror for hours rehearsing what to say, trying to find the right words to make him understand. But when I finally sat across from him, my hands shaking under the café table, all my carefully planned words vanished.

"I'm pregnant."

His reaction was immediate—his eyes widened, his jaw tightened, and then...nothing. Just a heavy sigh and a shake of his head.

"I can't do this, Y/N," he said, his voice flat. "I don't want to be a dad."

The air left my lungs. I stared at him, waiting for something—regret, second thoughts, anything—but all I saw was indifference. Like I was a problem he wanted to erase.

I left without another word, blinking back tears. 

back home

I sat down on my bedroom floor holding pictures of us, wondering where was the guy I fell in love with, why did he change. soon my phone vibrating next to me took me out of my overthinking, It was Quinn, he made it his mission to Facetime me at least once a day 

"hey did you watch the game last night, and did you see the goal I made for you and little Bean- hey hey why are you crying munchkin" Quinn cooed soon noticing my tears "he doesn't want to be a dad" I sobbed, Quinn's face dropped "that fucking dick. you don't need him munchkin. You have us. Me, Mom, Dad, Luke—hell, even Jack, whether he wants to admit it or not. We're here for you. And for the baby."

The baby.

Hearing him say it like that like this tiny life inside me mattered like I mattered, made my throat tighten.

"Thanks, Q," I whispered.

soon he hung up the phone as soon as he knew I was going to be okay, but my mind was still clouded with the looming thoughts of what if Jack doesn't want me as his sister anymore  and just so many of the what ifs 

No matter how hard I tried to push those thoughts away, my brain kept replaying his reaction over and over again he was furious, convinced I had ruined not just my life, but his, too. He had gotten so disappointed in me that he stopped talking to me. Ignored my texts. And then, the final blow—I noticed he had unfollowed me on Instagram and Twitter.

And so did everyone else. 

As soon as I opened up TikTok or Twitter I just saw all the notifications of fans and drama pages adding in their comments why did Jack Hughes unfollow his sister? What happened between Y/N and Jack? Family drama??

I stared at my screen, my heart sinking. It was one thing to know my brother was mad at me. It was another to see it so blatantly, so publicly. I turned my phone off soon making my way downstairs to get some chocolate, trying to keep my tears at bay, trying to not let my parents see how much this is affecting me. 

Once I entered the kitchen I saw my dad standing there, we didn't make any eye contact or even speak until I sat down at the kitchen bench "I saw what Jack did," he finally said.

I swallowed hard. "Guess that makes two of you disappointed in me."

Dad exhaled through his nose. "I am disappointed, Y/N. Not in you, but in the situation. You have no idea how hard this is for me to accept."

I bit my lip, trying to hold back my emotions.

"But that doesn't mean I'm not here," he continued. "Because I am. No matter how messy this gets."

I looked up at him, tears brimming in my eyes.

"You mean that?"

He nodded. "Of course I do." I hesitated for only a second before wrapping my arms around him. It was the first hug I had given him in a month.

And it felt nice.

For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I was drowning.

Maybe Jack still hated me. Maybe my ex wanted nothing to do with this baby. Maybe my future was terrifying and uncertain.

But I wasn't alone.

And maybe, just maybe, I was going to be okay.

[forgetmaenott]

Experimentation - SHOWTIME

SUMMARY: Pomni isn't sure if Caine knows what he feels towards her, so she experiments a little bit. She's just curious. Nothing else. Nothing at all.

a/n: Title is also a double meaning for me, as this fic was written more so as practice for the sillies more than anything else. So apologies If it's a bit all over the place. I wasn't going to upload but Showtime fans are deprived of content so I will give you what you need 🙏

Pomni was far from oblivious to the things that Caine did to impress her.

Initially, it had been small attempts at making her happy--no doubt as a result of her first few adventures being particularly unpleasant. Caine didn't seem to understand most things about human responses, but it was of Pomni's understanding that it was in his programming to make everyone happy. And Pomni, from day one, had made it exceedingly clear just how unhappy she was. If anything, she was a challenge to Caine's coding, just begging to be fixed. Why wouldn't he put in a slight more effort for one of his superstars?

With time, though, his check-ins and side quests for her grew into...something else. Lingering touches on her hand or shoulder, seeking opportunities to show her, and only her, a preview of an upcoming adventure. Sometimes she caught his lingering gazes, his artificial eyes searching for validation of his work, and it made her wish to shrink away. He'd move his thumb lightly across her hand experimentally, sending a rush of nerves through Pomni's system. Or he'd fly around excitedly--often at the expense of Pomni's stomach--to show her something new he had coded into the circus. Or he'd show up in her room under the guise of a check-in, only to stay and talk with her for nearly an hour. He hung onto her every word, and Pomni had to admit to herself, she rather enjoyed his presence in those times. Getting to explain bits of her real life memories to his fascinated gaze; as she regained the pieces of what real life had been like, he was just beginning to understand it.

Just a day ago, she had found herself mindlessly recounting vague details of reality that she had once adored--the flickering of stars in a quiet night, the humming of crickets, the feeling of a slight breeze, the slight running of water nearby. She didn't know where that memory originated from, but she could still feel it. It was strange, not remembering facts but remembering feelings.

And now, she found herself recounting these thoughts as she waited for Caine on a "special adventure", staring at the way the digital stars twinkled in the night sky, and how her wisps of hair gently brushed across her face in the breeze.

His favoritism wasn't subtle, but Pomni had always tried to deny it to her friends. But now, standing here and seeing the ripples on the digital lake, she couldn't help but wonder. Was it really so bad? Wasn't it almost endearing that Caine had found himself so enamored with her? That he was falli--

"Good evening, my dear!"

Pomni stiffened at the sound of her ringmaster's enthusiastic voice, jumping out of her thoughts and flushing at the realization of what she had been considering. "AGH--Caine! How many times have I told you--"

"Ah, apologies, my dear. I just can't help but be over-the-moon about your private adventure!" Caine winked at his not-so-subtle play on words, zipping around excitedly above her.

Pomni rubbed her head. "Uh...okay...that's great," she said quietly.

"Isn't it?? I stayed up ALL night working on this just for you! Not that I need to sleep, of course," he chuckled before lowering to her level, carefully grabbing her hand in both of his, "But I did it! Just for you, dear."

"Just for me?" she repeated mindlessly. Her mind screamed the same words: AI, Program, NOT REAL, but she couldn't help but gaze again at the flickering stars and wonder--

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"O-oh." There it was. His favoritism showing itself once again, his devotion to her and her alone. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles, gazing down at her hand as though he wished to memorize each detail. This was crazy. She couldn't let him be so foolish as to be interested in her, she couldn't let this go any further. "Caine--"

"Ah, ah, ah! This adventure is about you. I have SO much to show you!" His gentleness faded instantaneously from the excitement, the pressure on her hands growing tighter as he pulled her in. Before she could even process the closeness or the fluster, he grabbed her waist and graciously flew her above the lake. He set her down on a digital cloud, which she was able to step on as though it were a solid surface. She avoided looking down, tensing as she looked around her. "As your ringmaster, it is my sole purpose to make YOU and all of your co-stars happy," he exclaimed, pointing an exaggerated finger at her, "and I couldn't help but notice how your mannerisms changed when you told me about your world. My dear...I cannot return you to your world. But perhaps, I can bring your world here."

Pomni's heart skipped a beat at the gesture, which she tried to ignore. This wasn't the same Caine from her bad dreams when she'd first arrived. This was...different. Entirely different. "For...all of us?" she asked slowly.

His demeanor broke for a moment. "Ah--yes, yes. Of course! My role is to assure everyone at the circus is happy," He paused in thought for a moment before he flew down by her side and cautiously approached her, "but admittedly, you've been quite the challenge for me since you've arrived here. You're a bit stubborn, you know."

"Is that a bad thing?" Pomni cracked a smile.

"Not exactly, dear. It's one of my favorite traits of yours. It's what keeps me coming back to you," Caine said with what she assumed was a smile.

Pomni felt a light blush dust her pale face. "I don't think you know what you're saying."

Caine titled his head curiously at her. "Why is that?"

Pomni blinked. He really didn't know what he was saying, did he? Did he even know what he was feeling? Could he even feel anything?

She glanced sidelong at the flickering stars, the lake below her, the way the clouds swirled up and floated around them--enough to give her the courage to test the waters. Before she could listen to the voices in her mind screaming at her, she grabbed his gloved hand in hers. "So...you like that I'm a challenge to your purpose? Or is it something else?" she asked experimentally, hoping the quiver in her voice wasn't too obvious.

Caine's eyes widened at the sudden contact, too afraid to move his hand an inch at the risk that she would let go. Not that Pomni could see his reaction, as she was too busy looking at her red and blue shoes to avoid meeting his gaze with her flushed one. "Something...else? What would that be?"

She lightly traced her index finger along the edge of his hand. Oh, God. She didn't even know what she was doing. How does she even answer a question like that to an AI? "Well...what do you, uh, feel?" She sealed the gap between their fingers, interlacing them together carefully.

If Caine could breathe, his breath would have easily caught in his non-existent throat. "I feel that I want you to be happy."

"Because of your programming? Or...something else?" Pomni said before she could cringe at her own words. She was just asking because she was curious, that was all. She just wanted to know if he knew what romantic feelings even were, nothing more. Or so she told herself.

"Well, I want you to be happy all the time. Because of me. That is my purpose, isn't it?"

Pomni smiled half-heartedly. Intentional or not, he was making this extra difficult for her. "Yeah..." she agreed quietly, a strange pit settling in her stomach. Maybe he was just coded to be this way. Maybe she was just being extra difficult. Before she could think of anything else to say, the sudden sensation of his smooth teeth against her hand sent shockwaves up from her hand and into her digital heart. She stilled at the sensation, gaining the courage to meet his gaze as he lifted his teeth from her hand, a cartoonish flush appearing on his lower jaw.

"But, I do find myself feeling more...drawn to your happiness, dear," he admitted, looking to the side sheepishly. He brushed his thumb against her knuckles where he had left a kiss, causing Pomni to shiver. "My dear? Did I do something wrong?"

Pomni squeezed her pinwheel eues shut, tensing her shoulders. "No, no--Caine you--" she stuttered, "I..." God, what happened to her composure? She had never been like this around him before. But suddenly every movement against his hand sent chills across her body, every thing he'd done to make her happy felt significant, and--oh, God. She couldn't possibly be--

"Darling," Caine said, so quietly Pomni almost couldn't believe it was him. His hand trailed up to the curve of her chin, gazing at her so softly she felt dizzy, "you don't need to worry around me. You've taught me so much about your world, about how the human mind works. So dear...don't be afraid to teach me more."

Pomni couldn't tear her eyes away from his gaze, tongue tied by his intense adoration in his eyes. "What is it you want to know?" she asked quietly, her lips seeming to move before her mind could catch up.

"Anything you have to show me."

There was certianly no way he understood what he was implying.

And there was even less of a chance she was actively considering all the things she could show him. She blushed at the thought.

"Caine?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I love this. All of this. Everything you've added to the grounds for me. It's sweet of you, and...it really feels a bit more like home. I-I just thought you'd want to know that it...you made me happy. Thank you."

Caine's eyes glistened cartoonishly, unable to tear his eyes from her. "Pomni," he sighed, saying her name for the first time all night somehow felt more intimate than any contact they'd had, "why is it that I feel this way?"

Pomni flushed. "What way?"

"I have made you happy, my very purpose as your ringmaster. But now, I don't want to stop making you happy. I..." he tightened his grip on her hand, "I've never been close like this to anyone before. Truly. Would it be so bold as to call you a friend?"

Pomni struggled to contain an incredulous laugh--he really didn't understand what he felt, did he? "I...think you're becoming a friend to me, as well," she admitted, staring down at their hands still clasped together. He had moved the hand on her face down to hold the top of her hand, gently rubbing circles against it. In the back of her mind, she still felt the imprint of his teeth against her hand, her heart speeding up at the thought. "Caine?"

"Mm?"

"Is it...well, um...would it be okay if...I taught you, one more thing?"

"Why Pomni, I'd love nothing more than that!"

Pomni smiled. "Okay, it's just..." she hesitated, allowing herself to get caught up in the way the stars twinkled around them before tracing her hands up to his chest, then his shoulder, then below his lower jaw. She could see him gazing at her curiously, stiffening at the way her hands slid up him. Before she could regret it or think twice, she moved closer and tilted his teeth to her right before planting a quick, firm kiss to the left side of his lower jaw.

Time stilled for Caine, pupils dilating and jaw frozen slack in place as she pulled away. The stars he had created just for her reflected in his eyes, her touch lingering everywhere they made contact. He didn't even realize he had placed his hand on his lower jaw until he saw her flushed face pulling away. His tongue tied, breath stolen from his metaphorical lungs, he could do nothing but stare at the woman before him that somehow seemed more beautiful than ever under his starlight.

Pomni's heart raced at the way he was looking at her. This was all too much. Why had she even done that? What was going on with her tonight? When he stared at her, frozen in time, her face burned more and she twiddled her thumbs. "U-uh, can you put me down, now?"

It took Caine a moment to register her words. "Y-yes. Of course, darling."

He didn't even have it in him to carry her down with him. No, she had left his code too starstruck with the gesture that mystified him. He simply snapped and the two of them were by the digital lake. She walked towards it and experimentally dipped her gloved finger into the waters, relishing in the sensations around her digits.

She looked back at him with a small smile, his code seeming to thrum excitedly at seeing her joy because of him.

Her taking the next step of intimacy left him confused, to say the least. There was far less about human emotion and mind that he understood, and if anything, the static-like feelings in his chest were nothing short of a mystery to him. Perhaps he'd have to check himself for a bug later.

No matter. He shook the thoughts from his head, the feeling still lingering as her floated by her side, unable to stop smiling at her quiet demeanor. She took in every detail he had added just for her, smiling to herself.

She'd have time to regret her forwardness later. Or scream into her pillow about developing a crush on an AI. For now, there was only this moment.

"Thank you, Caine."

"Anything for you, my dear."

And he meant it.

[roseglass-writings]

The Role of a Big Brother

I am currently obsessed with final destination bloodlines and desperately wanted to focus on the family bonds among the characters - but especially in this one scene with Erik and Julia. This took longer than intended to write as I kept on rewatching this scene to get the dialogue and details for the characters accurate lol. Hope you enjoy - I have some ideas for other scenes as well to expand on if this one goes well!

(If you saw this uploaded briefly before it was finished, no you didn't lol tumblr decided to glitch and post half way through when I went to save it to my drafts ffs lol)

there are no exact ages for any of the characters so I went with this:

Erik: 25, Julia and Stefani: 20, Bobby: 19, Charlie: 18

TW: violence, death, grief, blood, angst

Word count: 4319

---- 2005 ----

The sound of Erik's trainers against the gleaming white hospital floor's echoes along the corridor as he jumps about excitedly next to his Uncle Marty.

"Erik, I know you are excited, but you need to wait a moment - can you come and stand here, please?" His uncle asks, unable to stop his smile as he watches his small nephew.

"But it's taking ages!" Erik grumbles, before slumping against the fall next to his uncle and begins to chew against his already destroyed sleeve - the dark blue fabric already tearing.

"It won't be long now, your Dad is on his way, and then you will get to meet your new baby sibling."

"Will they be as noisy as Steffie?" Erik asks, looking up at his uncle, having stayed over the past couple of nights and having been around his cousin who was born a few weeks ago.

Marty chuckles, finding it adorable how quickly Erik gave her a nickname, "most likely, I'm afraid. It is just what babies do when they need attention as they can't speak. But soon enough they will be as big as you are now, and you will be able to play together."

At that moment, Howard pushes open the doors further down the corridor - his smile growing even larger at the sight of his son.

"Dad!" Erik cries at the sight of his Dad, rushes towards him and throwing himself into his arms, glad to be with his Dad after not seeing him for the past few days.

"Erik! How is my little man doing, hey?" Howard asks, easily picking him up tightly.

"Good, I missed you and mum though. Is she okay?" Erik asks.

"She is alright, just very tired. Have you been behaving for your aunt and uncle?" Howard asks, looking at Marty as he walks closer.

"Yeah! I even helped Auntie Dee with Steffie!" he responded, causing both men to chuckle.

"He has been as good as gold, Brenda and the baby okay?" Marty asks.

"Yeah, labour went on longer than expected, but everyone was okay luckily."

"Good," Marty responds, "anyway, I best be off now, Dee is still recovering, and I don't like leaving her alone for long. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you."

"Thanks' for everything Marty, seriously." Howard responds, taking Erik's spiderman backpack off his hands.

"I'll see you soon, okay Erik? Thank you for helping us with Stefani, it has been lovely having you over."

Erik unlatches himself from his Dad to quickly wrap himself around his uncle's legs, before watching him leave.

"Come on bud, you've got someone very important to meet," Howard states, taking Erik's small hand into his own.

They walk through the halls, reaching a wooden door. Howard crouches down next to Erik, laying his hands gently onto his son's face, "when we get in there you are gonna have to be really good for me and make sure you aren't too loud okay? Your mum is very tired and hurt, and your baby sibling, much like your new cousin, can get scared easily by new things."

Erik nods his head rapidly in excitement, "I'll be good dad - promise! Aunty Dee and Uncle Marty can tell you how good I was with Steffie, even when she was crying!"

Howard chuckles, before running his hands through Erik's black hair and knocking on the door and walking inside.

"Mum!" Erik calls, walking quickly towards his mum who was laying in the hospital bed, her blonde hair shining in the sunlight from the window as her head snaps towards him.

"Erik! Oh how are you sweetie, come up here and give me a cuddle." Brenda responds, unable to stop her smile at the sight of her eldest child. Within an instant he climbs on the bed, gently wrapping his arms around her. Brenda wraps her arms around him in return, watching as Howard goes over to their newborn.

"How would you like to meet your baby sister?" Brenda asks softly.

"I have a sister?" Erik asks, shooting up and turning his attention towards Howard, who returned to their side and sat down carefully beside Erik on the bed. Within his arms, there lied the small baby - with small strands of golden hair sitting upon the crown of her head.

"She is so tiny," Erik whispers, his eyes unable to leave her form, "can I hold her?"

Howard chuckles lightly, "of course, you remember how your aunt and uncle showed you how to hold Stefani?"

"I do!" Erik responds, his legs kicking back and forth in excitement as he holds his arms out, watching carefully as Howard places his little sister on his lap.

"This, Erik, is your little sister Julia." Brenda states, her eyes filling up with tears at the sight of her children as she shares an emotional smile with Howard, who carefully rests his arm around Erik and holds her hand.

"Hi Julia," Erik whispers, staying perfectly still as she shuffles slightly, her eyes opening and staring up at him.

"As her big brother, it is your job to look after her," Howard states.

"Like I do with Steffie?" Erik asks, glancing up at his Dad before looking back down and letting Julia wrap her hand around his finger.

"Exactly," Howard chuckles, "while it is our job as your parents to look after both of you - we can't always be there. It is your job as her big brother, and in Steffie's case, her eldest cousin, to make sure they are okay when we are not there."

Erik nods in agreement, "I can do that - I promise! I will be an amazing big brother!"

Brenda and Howard share a laugh, "I know you will baby," Brenda replies, soaking in the sight of her family.

---2025----

Exhausted, Erik heads down the street - his body aching from the chaotic fire that erupted at the tattoo parlour the previous night. While the medics gave him the all clear, with his leather jacket paying the price rather than his flesh, it did not mean nearly having his septum piercing ripped out due to his boss' shitty interior and falling into fire didn't hurt like hell. Erik, while furious with his boss - especially as he didn't even bother coming back to the shop once the police were able to get a hold of him, is too exhausted to truly fight about it. He only went as a favour and to try to take his mind off of what happened to his dad - the sight of his dad's face being shredded by the lawn mower being forever burnt into his mind, with chunks of flesh sprayed around beside his skull and his eyes turned into mush.

Desperate to push the memory out of his mind, Erik focuses on the orange juice in his hand - his only energy booster until he can collapse onto his bed after explaining everything to his mum, albeit with a lot of the danger cut out to reassure her that he was okay. She hasn't been able to do anything but cry these past few days, with barely having the energy to get out of bed - especially after Stef dragged them all downstairs the day after his dad's funeral to tell them how they will all die. Erik scoffs, still feeling annoyed at his cousin's behaviour. From barely speaking to them since going off to college, to coming back saying that death is coming for them and that he is going to die - right after choosing to use his dad's death for attention? He doesn't even know what part of Stefani's actions has pissed him off more.

SREECH

Suddenly, his mind is snapped out of his wandering thoughts as a car slams into his legs - forcing him onto the hood.

"Ow!" He exclaims, looking up through the window, only to come face to face with the terrified faces of his cousins. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Erik?" Stef's muffled exclaim of surprise immediately causes him to be reminded of his annoyance towards her once more.

"Oh, yeah no, of course it's you," Erik groans, slapping the roof of the car and turns back towards the pavement as he tries to ignore how the pain in his legs has increased. As he takes a sip of his orange juice, he hears the car doors slam shut behind him.

"Dude," Charlie exclaims, causing Erik to roll his eyes in frustration, "we heard about the fire, we thought you were dead."

"I'm fine," Erik responds, turning back around to face them.

"Oh my god, are you okay? I was so worried about you," Stef rushes out, immediately grabbing onto his shoulders.

"Yeah, the firefighters said I was lucky as fuck that I was wearing that leather jacket, I barely got burned." He explains with a slight smile, wanting to reassure them if they already got the news that the whole place burnt down. That, and they would be easier to reassure than his mum. "Ruined my favourite jacket though."

Stef picks up his arm, quickly noticing the wrapping around his forearm, "what's this?"

"Oh!" He exclaims, "yeah, check it out."

Erik quickly pulls back the gauze to reveal his new tattoo and the - very painful - heart shape that is now burnt into his skin. "I got branded! Sick, right?" He states, raising his eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood as he glances over to his youngest cousin, "You like it?"

Stef's concern and worry quickly turns to anger, "you said you were asleep."

"Well you were blowing up my phone like a goddamn stalker, what do you want me to do?" He retorts, his annoyance growing.

"No, I don't get it," Stef argues, "you should be dead." She turns to Charlie in confusion.

"Right, right, yeah," Erik responds, tilting his head up towards the sky to hide his growing anger at Stef, trying to push it aside to focus on getting back home to sleep off the terrible night. "Or, you know, maybe," he begins as he wanders into the road to try and get away from them as he tries to play it off with a smile, "maybe death's not actually coming for our family. Because that would be fucking crazy."

A van screeches past right behind him, so close the wing mirror brushes against his hair, unrelenting in its pursuit down the road, with it's only acknowledgement of the near accident being the blaring horn.

"Jesus, shit!" He yells, his heart races out of his chest at the close-call, just wishing this day was over with. He looks back to his cousins, seeing the terror and panic etched clearly on both of their faces.

"Or maybe I'm invincible?" He jokes, hating to see such fearful looks on their faces. He chuckles, backing up and getting back onto the pavement - knowing with his luck they will follow him and continue Steffie's pursuit - but at least they will be off the road and away from any more reckless drivers.

"Erik!" Stef cries, her footsteps quickly racing after him with Charlie's following, "Erik!"

"Yeah," he responds, focusing on his house down the street and trying to ignore Stef's rambles about death until he has had some sleep.

"Erik wait, stop! Just wait, okay?"

"Hm." he hums in response, trying to brush off Stef's fixation on his death.

"Just because death didn't kill you last night doesn't mean that you're safe." Stef glances up at the tree, noticing the tree trimmer leaning against the branches. "Stay away from that tree trimmer!" She cries, grasping hold of Charlie's arm and pull him to the other side of her and away from the trimmer.

Erik looks over towards in and purposefully slows down, "ooh," he mocks as he scuttles past - focusing purposefully on the tree trimmer while doing so, "oooh, gonna move on it's own Stef is that what it's gonna do?"

"I-it could fall," she stutters, trying to rationalise her thought process and worries. "And stay away from those kids."

Erik glances over at the kid's lightly kicking the soccer together, the ball barely leaving the concrete, "I'll take my chances."

"Stef," Charlie begins, his concern for his sister's wellbeing growing, knowing that she hasn't been okay since returning home from college. "How's a couple of kids with a soccer ball gonna kill him."

Erik mindlessly listens to their conversation, finishing off his orange juice and chucking the carton into the open bin - understanding why Charlie is encouraging Stef's beliefs about death coming for them. He knows how much he missed his older sister, with Charlie often coming to visit them, asking if they had heard from her, or if he could hang out with them. With her suddenly being back for a while, it makes sense to Erik for Charlie to join her in this disturbing crusade as it means he gets to spend time with her once more, especially with how close they were before Stef went to college.

"I-I mean, I don't know, the trimmer could fall and hit the leaf-blower guy which causes him to... blow stuff into the kid's eyes and then kick the ball into his face." Stef blurts out, her mind racing as she tries to piece it all together.

"Woah, woah, woah," Erik sarcastically beings, turning around, mockingly serious as he faces his cousins, "a soccer ball to my face? That does sound deadly." He glances down to the concrete, trying to maintain a straight face. "I should be more careful."

Finally reaching the driveway, Erik notices Julia leaving the house about to start her usual morning jog.

"Hey," Julia calls, looking up from her phone.

"What's up." Erik responds, his exhaustion evident in his tone, knowing he is so close to being able to finally go to bed.

"What happened to you?" Julia asks, the news about the tattoo parlour having not reached her yet - much to Erik's relief.

"Charbroiled by death apparently," he jokes, showing her his new tattoo and burn mark.

"Kiki," Julia softly says, the familiar nickname causing Erik to feel slight guilt settling in his stomach at causing her to worry. "That look's really bad."

"Yeah, it's fine." Erik quickly reassures her - letting her grab hold of his arm to look over the burn, knowing she would be even more worried if he told her about the jacket and how close it was to being much worse.

"No, wait - let me see that." Julia responds, refusing to let Erik brush aside his burn mark - knowing that it is probably as bad as it looks and his nonchalance is bullshit.

"No, stop, stop" Erik teases Julia, slapping her hands away as soon as her finger goes near the burn, ignoring Stef beginning to press her hand against his back.

"Erik just stay away from the truck," Stef says, her eyes glued to the rubbish truck, backed up closely against Erik as though she was his shield.

Erik turns around, seeing the typical yellow truck slowly begin the process of emptying their bin. "Oh, what this truck?"

"Stop, stop," Stef panics, trying to stop Erik from walking backwards towards the truck, his carelessness causes her heart to race as she stands frozen, watching him get closer to it.

"Oh my god," Julia mutters, glancing at Charlie in annoyance that Stef is continuing the belief that death is after them after seeing how much it upset them so soon after just losing their Dad.

"This truck right here? But it's such a beautiful truck!" Erik states, ignoring Stef's pleas as she continues to try to get him away from it.

"Please, please just listen to me for once," Stef calls out - her worry evident as she glances between Erik, who turns around and begins to mockingly kiss the truck, "please, stop, stop," she stares intently at the metal arm grabbing the bin, glancing over at Erik, as though it may break and hurt him, "don't touch... Erik get away, stop."

Erik continues to ignore her, becoming more dramatic to wind her up, "you like that?"

He glances over his shoulder, seeing the slightly-disturbed and deadpan expressions on his cousins and sisters faces, before looking down at the tyre, "oh my god," he smacks the tyre, "uh oh!" looking back over to see Stef finally stop worrying for a second, with both her and Charlie looking mildly uncomfortable instead while Julia is busy on her phone.

"Oh Erik is tempting death again," he calls out, purposefully staring at Stef as he jokingly rubs his hips into the tyre, "what's gonna happen?"

"Stop doing that!" Stef snaps, more disturbed and angry at his mocking than worried.

"What's gonna happen?" Erik mocks with a grin, dancing towards Stef and pointing directly to the truck, just as it begins to drive off, "nothing at all."

"Wait, just please," Stef tries to explain.

"How about that." Erik states, just wanting to go to bed, his frustration at Stef growing by the minute as he walks towards her, wanting to get in the house.

"I am just trying to help you-" Stef is cut off, accidentally backing up into Julia, who was focusing on her phone.

"Okay," Julia startles, tucking her phone into her pocket,

"I swear to god," Erik mutters, "try less."

"Yeah, honestly, we are so done with your garbage," Julia states, tucking her earbuds into her ears as she begins off down the road.

Hearing Julia's response, Erik feels proud, knowing how much it hurt Julia when Stef went off to college and continuously blew her off and ignored her messages after being as close as twins with their birthdays only weeks apart. He had seen her cry on multiple occasions from Stef's actions once going to college last year, hearing her question his parents, Uncle Marty and Charlie whether she did something or if she found others she preferred spending time with there.

Trying once again to head towards the house, Stef turns towards him and quickly stops him once again, "can you please-"

"For the fifteen hundredth time," Erik snaps, his anger at Stefani finally blowing up, "no one gives a shit about your silly little death curse okay. So take a hint and leave us alone, because death's not coming for our family."

Julia's shrill shriek of surprise echoes around them, cause Erik to snap his attention towards his sister, only to see her body falling straight into the rubbish bin and emptied into the truck.

He freezes in shock, only for Stef pushing past to snap him out of it. He races towards the moving vehicle, ignoring the pain in his body from the fire and focuses on trying to get to his sister.

"Julia!" He cries, noticing Stef race towards the ladder while Charlie follows after him. He slams against the truck while Charlie tries to yell for the drivers attention - desperate to try and get the driver to notice them.

The truck's compacter begins to whirl into action, his heart pounding in his eardrums, his heart dropping into his stomach at the sound as he pushes himself to move quicker - the terrified and desperate screams from his little sister filling the air.

He reaches the passenger side of the truck, unable to open the door due to the lock. He slams on the window, yelling at the driver as he tries to get his attention, only to realise it isn't working and using the adrenaline coursing through his veins to push himself towards the front of the truck.

"Woah, woah! Hey, stop!" He yells throwing himself in front of the truck, uncaring about his safety as he desperately tries to save Julia, "stop!"

The truck comes to a screeching halt, however the sound of the compressor continues - alongside Julia's terrified screams.

"My sister's in the back!" He bellows, barely able to hear anything more than the the whirring compressor and Julia's scream turn into screams of agony, the blood curling cries filling the air just as he races around the other side of the truck - only to suddenly go silent.

Erik feels his body go numb as the adrenaline is replaced with dread, his heart pounding uncontrollably as his little cousin's screams of horror fill the air, still clutching tightly onto the ladder and Julia's arm.

The engine for the truck turns off, though Erik knows it is too late - his baby sister is dead.

He was too late.

"Charlie, go back to the house," he utters, desperately wanting to shield his youngest cousin from this, "now Charlie!" he pushes, not wanting him to linger around here anymore.

"Oh- oh god, what have I done. I didn't... I didn't know she was there..." the driver stutter's out, collapsing to the floor as he gets out of the truck and realises what happened.

"Call 911!" Erik yells towards the driver before forcing himself to climb up the ladder, his legs shaking from adrenaline as he focuses on getting his cousin down.

"Steffie," he murmurs once close to her, trying desperately not to look into the truck. Her sobs racks through her whole body, her hand still tightly holding onto Julia's.

He gently wraps his arm around her, with taking hold of Julia's still warm wrist, purposefully ignoring her blood now on his hand and on Stef. "You need to let go, okay? We need to get off the truck."

Stef shakes her head, words unable to leave her mouth as sobs uncontrollably rip their way through his body. "You must Steffie, we need to get down." Slowly, he is able to coax Julia's dismembered arm out of Stef's grasp, laying it down on top of the compressor as though it was made of glass.

Slowly, he is able to begin to get them both to climb down the ladder, but not before he catches a glimpse of what remains of his little sister. All that is visible is half of her skull, with her jaw having being crushing in half. Her eyes, frozen in fear and bulging out of their sockets - the once green eyes now bloodshot, with blood oozing from them. Blood splattered around her, and running from her nose onto the few teeth that were not destroyed. The rest of her body would be lying in the back of the truck - mixed with the typical waste from the street, reduced to nothing more than a bloody mess, as though she was just as insignificant as the orange juice carton he threw out moments ago in the same bin she fell in.

Clenching his eyes shut, ignoring the burning in his eyes as tears uncontrollably began to form as he focuses on getting Stef to the ground. As soon as they reach the ground she collapses to the floor, her anguished sobs racking though her body and she curls up against Erik, his arms wrapped around her tightly as he tries to comfort her.

Distantly he can hear the driver behind him breaking down while on the phone, stumbling over his words as he desperately tries to explain the situation, his guilt overwhelming him as he realises what he done.

Erik clings tighter onto his cousin, tears running down his face without his control. His heart clenches painfully as his gaze focuses unseeing on the ground, his mind struggling to wrap around the knowledge that his baby sister is gone. He can still hear her screams echoing through his mind, the pain and terror of her last moments forever imprinted in his soul - knowing that he was not quick enough to save her from her horrific fate.

His little sister was gone.

His little sister who used to follow him around with Stef, begging him to play with them.

His little sister who wanted to be just like him, to the point of cutting off her hair to match him when she was four.

His little sister who used to love bragging about her tricks on the trampoline and her skills at just dance, always roping him into contests.

His little sister who loved painted his nails and testing new styles and designs on him first.

His little sister whose first word was "Kiki", and always looked up to him and relied on him.

He was meant to look after her. That was his job, he was her big brother. And yet, even though he was inches away from her, Erik was too late and wasn't able to do anything. He failed her.

Suddenly, Erik hears footsteps racing towards them, Stef still inconsolable in his arms, as he looks up to see his Mum and little brother, both wearing matching expressions of distraught and disbelief.

"No..." Brenda manages to croak out, realising the truth when seeing Erik and Stef's crumbled forms on the road, "not my little girl, not my Baby."

Darlene quickly catches up and wraps her arm around Brenda just as she lets out a blood-curling scream, her agony at losing her daughter causing her to collapse to the floor. Darlene looks over at Erik and Stef, disbelief and horror in her eyes as she quickly realises the truth behind her own mother's beliefs about death being true.

Erik continues to watch the remains of his family as they fall apart, Bobby still staring at the truck, terror and distraught apparent on his face as he gently tries to comfort his mum, leaning against her with his hand pressed against her back. Charlie stays standing beside Darlene's, tears streaming down his face as his arms wrap around themselves, trying helplessly to figure out what to do.

"My little Julie, she can't be gone, tell me it's not true, please, Erik, tell me it's not true." Erik hears his mum pleads, guilt building in his lungs, powerless and unable to try to help or comfort her in anyway.

He failed his little sister, and she is never coming back.

[garciaasfluffypen]

stay like this forever

pairing: elle greenaway x reader word count: 1k warnings: elle is sad? a/n: this *might* be cross posted to my wattpad, i found it on my google docs and can't remember where i uploaded it lol. also, if you can find the subtle starkid reference i'll give you a cookie

the case had been a tough one, and you were absolutely drained. it was rare that a case drained you this much, to the point you were practically falling asleep on the jet. wrapped up in the extra blanket you always stashed away on the jet that smelled like your girlfriend, you closed your eyes and pulled the blanket closer to yourself, adjusting your position so you were practically in a ball. there were many thoughts running through your head- mostly about the outcome of the case but some about what could have happened if you had been a few minutes later. your girlfriend’s face was etched into the front of your eyelids and you could still practically feel the fear running through your veins as elle stood face to face with the unsub.

it took absolutely everything in your power not to run over to her and save her ass, and it was a good thing you didn’t compromise that considering you two hadn’t told hotch about your relationship yet. after everything that had happened while she was in montego bay with derek, you offered her your spare room so she could heal in the presence of another human. during that time you two got progressively closer, and eventually one night while wine drunk you admitted you had feelings for her, and ended up kissing. since then, you two had been attached at the hip, partnering together at any chance you could get. you had a sinking feeling they all suspected something was going on, but you didn’t want to face that reality yet. 

you smiled slightly to yourself at the memory, looking at a sleeping elle sitting across from you.  her features were so soft when she slept, and it was a stark difference from the elle you knew from work. it was nice, being the only person who had the luxury of seeing her in that state. moments later you felt the plane start shifting downwards, and you knew you would be landing soon. 

by the time you landed, elle was rubbing her eyes and everyone else was getting ready to get off the jet and go back to their respective houses. hotch had told everyone to go home, and that you could all do the paperwork in the morning, which meant you and elle could go straight home and straight to bed. you waited for her patiently at the bottom of the stairs, smiling at her as the two of you walked over to one of the FBI issued cars that always escorted you to and from the air strip. it wasn’t that far of a walk, but it was easier to drive. you and elle said your goodbyes before walking to the parking structure, making sure nobody was around before you snuck your hand into hers. 

the ride back to your place was quiet. something told you elle was itching to ask you a question, but was waiting for the right time to ask it. you pulled your car into your assigned parking spot, shutting off the car and waiting for elle to grab her stuff before you locked it, the two of you heading inside. both of you got ready for bed, you finishing your nightly routine first and laying down in bed, getting situated under the covers. elle joined you moments later, and you could tell she had been crying.

“elle, darling, what’s wrong?” you held your arms open, holding her close as she curled into you.

another round of sobs attacked elle’s body as you simply laid there, running your hand up and down her back as she got all her emotions out. it was rare that you saw her in this state, and you knew that she had to get all of her tears out before you two fell asleep- if hotch had ingrained anything into your brain, it was that you shouldn't bottle up your emotions, especially after a hard case. roughly ten minutes later, she sniffled. 

“‘m sorry. i dunno where that came from.” 

“it's okay, elle.” you placed a supportive kiss to the top of her head. “sometimes all you need is a good cry.”

“i got your sleep shirt covered in my tears, though.” she pouted.

“and they’ll dry.” you tilted her head to look up at you. “i could care less about this old shirt. i’ve had it for years. a few tears won’t hurt it.” 

elle rested her head back on your chest. “i guess i’m just a bit overwhelmed from today.” 

“how so?”

“well, for one, i tried subduing the unsub without backup.” she dryly chuckled. “i didn’t think about the implications of what was going to happen.” she dug her head into the crook of your neck. “i almost lost you today.” 

“but hey, you saved all of our asses in the end. it was your smart thinking that led us to him.” you placed another peck on the top of her head. “if it wasn’t for you, we’d still be in pennsylvania trying to find the son of a bitch.” 

“it was because of me i almost left you girlfriendless.” elle mumbled into you as she curled in closer. “i don’t know if i would have been able to live with myself if i let you lose me.” 

“elle, darling,” you looked down to her, waiting until she was looking up to you. “don’t worry about that. you’re actively healing from a traumatic event, and for each person it’s different. all i care about is that you’re safe. you’re safe, you’re here, and you’re in my arms, which i must say, is a nice change.”

“shush.” you felt elle chuckle against your chest. 

"i thought you were so badass." you smiled at elle. “yet here you are, curled up against me looking absolutely anything but badass.” 

"i am." elle mumbled into your shoulder. "i swear."

"it seems to me like right now you're just a soft little teddy bear."

you couldn’t help but laugh as elle playfully glared at you.  "you're going to regret saying that." 

there was a moment of silence. “i wish we could stay like this forever.” 

“yeah, me too.” 

elle closed her eyes as her breathing slowed down, you following shortly seconds later. a small smile graced your lips as you felt her shift closer to you, holding you as close to her body as she could muster.

she really was a soft teddy bear, even if she didn’t know it.

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 7

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!

Not this show starting off with a mistaken identity trip!! Lol Jimin saying that he only went snowboarding once before and it was with JK. And JK was so confused. You could see him searching the files in his brain lmfao. Jimin's oh wait! I went with your friends 😂😂 okay, just hanging out with JKs friends on your own? It's giving couple. I can't lie. I'm sorry. What in the best friend?! 😂😂 I loved the facial expressions and the way Jimin buried his face into Jungkookie there too

Jimin listening to hate you. And JKs why are you listening to that? Jimin: because I like it 😳 lmao I agree Jimin, it was abrupt 😂😂

Their appreciation for their crew is 😍😍

Jk dozing off to Jimin's softly singing. It's giving the same vibes as that one run episode that he dozed off to Jimin's ASMR. Idk what that's giving exactly.... But it's giving *something* and you know what it is

"this is our last moment of relaxation. I love it" 😭

Not JK just chopping at his hair like that. Oh baby lol don't look at me like this is my fault!! It's okay, fucking up your hair and needing to make it much shorter than originally planned is a life right of passage lol

Not JKs haircut transporting Jimin back in time 10 years 😂😂😂

The staff giggling and immediately taking photos 😂 BTS are their babies lol

Jimin hurting himself and shouting oh shit 😂😂 the subtitles trying to sensor him without bleeping his actual words 😂🤣 subtitles should be accurate above all else people! Cmon! Lol

Jimin moaning and groaning while transferring tubs, sitting on the edge, etc and JK just looks like he is enjoying the show the whole time. There is so much ass on display in the shorts they are wearing in this whole scene. Where is the decorum?! Lol!

Turning off the cameras to shower together before the Jacuzzi. Very innocent, but sounds like it could be so not 🤣😂

JKs faces when trying to handle to cold tub 😂😂

"feel how cold I am" better translated to "just hug me once" and the immediate hug and the hand placement to feel the cold? Yeah okay 🤣

Anyone remember the emojis over the barest slips of tummy during anything? Now they are showing them wash themselves and rub their own muscles in a cold tub and show off flexing to the camera. What the fuck Hybe 🤣🤣🤣

Soundproof Sauna to their matching PJs and eating a whole feast 🥰

The way they giggle together is my favorite thing

JK watching Jimin making his this crab is so good video so endeared 🥰😂😍

Jimin insisted on JK trying the shrimp too because it was so amazing instead of eating the last of the shrimp even though he loved it so much. And JK sharing half his urchin with Jimin because it was so yummy. Cute. They are so precious to each other

Jimin wants seconds, JK says it's a bad idea. They order seconds 😂😂😂

I both love and hate watching them eat. Because I think watching people eat is gross and I stand by that. Lol but they love it so much and look so happy, I also just enjoy seeing them enjoy themselves. It's a complicated mix of emotions I experience 😂

The trend continues of brushing their teeth together. Jimin, the mischief maker, kicks JK during their teeth brushing?? Lol and takes a selfie of them too. Share it please?

"I'm going to pass out after this, especially if we get massages" JK " we are getting massages?!" No lmfao you silly goose, that was 100% Jimin hinting at wanting a massage 😂🤣😂🤣

Not them being super sleepy, yet still annoying each other on purpose by flashing lights at each other 😂

Jimin asking JK if he is too hot, probably knowing already he gets too hot at night. But instead of changing the temperature when he did wake up too hot, knowing Jimin was comfy with how it was, JK just moved to the living room. And Jimin waking him up by so softly petting his head 🥺🥺🥺

Are they advertising sunscreen? Lol it worked. I wanted to go get some 😂😂

Jimin fighting for his LIFE in the shower. Wtf was happening?!! Lmao and JK finishing up his breakfast before going into the bathroom to shower while Jimin was still in the shower it sounded like. Lol ALRIGHT. Hope you both enjoyed said shower I guess 😅😂🤣

Why are we play fighting while getting dressed boys?! Lmao

Jimin starting a pretend photoshoot with the ski jacket and gear. Absolutely, yes please

Jimin is such a good boyfriend bringing JKs jacket back out to him

Jimin just enjoying sitting in the car while JK goes in to order 😂😂 good for him! JK telling him he only ordered food for himself and none for Jimin, only to say "here is our food" when it arrived 😂 what a jokester lol

Jimin feeding Jungkook while he is driving 🥺

Jimin joking about an AYS OST. Please please please give it to us though for real

Singing random love songs for a game! Where JK interrupted Jimin singing the line "the person I love is gone" to sing "I love you" three times lol okay got it

The way JK always stops to just stare at Jimin until he gets his reaction to whatever he is doing or wearing is always so cute. Especially because he always smiles so cutely after Jimin gives him his desired compliment 💜❤️

JK adjusting Jimin's googles for him 🥺

The way that JK checks in on Jimin first to make sure he is actually okay before teasing him about being scared lol it's sweet and cute

The hysterical cut of JK shredding down the slope to Jimin laying in the snow 😂😂😂😂 Jimin and his staff member literally falling over each other 🤣🤣🤣 I'm dying lmao!

Jimin ditching his helmet with how often he falls is stressing me out lmfao he looks gorgeous though!

Skiing would be fun too he says, turning to Jimin with a hopefully sparkle in his eyes that he knows Jimin can't say no to. Camera cuts to them on skis 😂 JK, I love and adore you. Never change

Wrap up thoughts:

They showered/bathed together 3 times in one episode and thats insane. Lmao whatever guys 😂 this was just an excellent episode showcasing their closeness, their intimacy, their silliness, their individuality and their soft spoken nature with each other. It showed the way they consistently consider each other, what the other wants and needs. I don't think I have anything to expand on from what I've already said above. I really loved this episode. Fully plan on the last episode making me cry.

All purple links in my post go back to @dstdes with video clips of the moment being talked about. I did use a few twitter clips as well, sorry. Thanks for reading!

[karmacharmeleon18]

I just saw a tiktok where someone said "Isn't it crazy that we have to wait for male idols to go to the military to finally seem them be a healthy weight?" and it got me thinking

First of all how fucked up that is of course

But also do you think idols feel some sort of relief when it's time to enlist? Because they get to be away from the cameras?

Or is the negative impact enlistment can have on their career just too scary for them to look forward to it?

I know as a fandom we see enlistment as a catastrophe because FUCK THE MILITARY but I'm really trying to look for positives and maybe idols being able to EAT is one of them... the bar is in hell.

I remember that back in 2022/Guerrilla on the official Ateez website Mingi's weight was listed as 60kg. Yeosang who is 10cm shorter than him was listed as 57kg. That sounds crazy to me

I am 165cm, 20cm shorter than Mingi, and I weight the SAME as him 🙃 part of my weight is muscles bc I'm a swimmer, but Mingi is muscular too? He's a damn athlete

It's absolutely insane that my healthiest weight is the same of that of a muscular adult man that's 20cm taller than me 🙃

So many fans look at idols in the military and are like "omg he's gotten huge" and I'm like?? that's an average muscular man, he's just getting FED 😭

I asked someone else and they were absolutely horrid in their answer, it turned out they're a bootlicker who loves the military lmao I hope I'm not still in enemy territory. "patriotic" people are terrifying.

Yo, anon, you were very lucky I saw this. Tumblr keeps eating my asks, I receive notifications but can't see them when I check my ask box, or I can see them but my answers don't upload 🔪🔪 if you see this, it means you got REALLY lucky lol

But excuse me, 60kg? Song Mingi? The Song Mingi that can pick up Yunho and Jongho and everyone in Ateez? Who practices for 3-4 extra hours on top of regular practice with all the members? Who absolutely owns the stage? That Song Mingi?

And... I'm the same weight as gym rat Kang Yeosang???????

Well, damn 🙃 I don't know what to do with this information.

As a fandom we talk over and over about how concerning this is, especially when Wooyoung and Seonghwa stress about their weight too much (Wooyoung eating one meal a day to lose weight?? Seonghwa not drinking water for fear of bloating before certain events?? Hongjoong and Mingi having to reassure him that he looks great?? Mingi taking care of all of his meals and making sure he eats?? And at the same time dieting himself for the Calvin Klein photoshoot?? What a mess. What a huge fucking mess. And Ateez is one of those groups that love food and enthusiastically eat in front of the camera. I wonder how many sacrifices they make off camera, afterwards. I really don't know what else to say about this. It enrages and concerns and frustrates me)

Now, I, as a European, cannot find any "relief", or any other positive emotion, in the idea of joining the military. Even if I try to put myself in the shoes of a Korean idol, I just can't.

Europe is currently setting plans in motion in order to rearm, and some countries are even talking about reinstating forced conscription. And the general feeling is as you said: fuck the military.

I think there is no universe where I would join the military of my own volition. Theoretically I understand wanting to protect your own land from an invasion (let's say Russia? Or the damn United States trying to steal parts of Denmark), but in general, the military in the West is not used as a defensive tool. It is used worldwide to oppress, torture, kill people (specifically brown and black people) in countries very rich in resources so we can steal them. We use our militaries to exploit other countries and people. So if we put it in these terms, absolutely fuck the military.

And yes, patriots are not seen in a good light. "Patriotic" tends to be a code word for violent, racist bigot who thinks people of color are destroying "European values", sooo... yeah, let's not go there. No patriots on this blog, don't worry.

Now, do I think that idols, who grew up in a country were conscription is the norm, and seen as good and something to be proud of (I assume?), might feel differently? A country, may I add, that is still at war? Because in 1953 North and South Korea firmed an armistice/ceasefire, not a peace treaty? Do people who grew up in this environment think differently than I do? Seems very likely to me lol

They might feel pride in it, because they're doing their duty.

I still don't think "relief" is the right word, though. I mean of course finally eating actual food instead of being terrified of gaining one gram of weight is good. Great, even. But it comes at a cost, you know? Your freedom is still severely limited, just in a different way compared to being an idol. Sure, you're not on camera every minute of every day, but you are still being watched. You know what I mean? You superiors are watching, your fellow men are watching and, above all, kpop fans are STILL watching. And haters too, are STILL waiting for you to make a mistake. The entirety of South Korea is, metaphorically speaking, watching. Just doing it in a less direct way, with less access to the idols (until the idols make the news for whatever mistake they made, whether huge or tiny *cough* Suga *cough* and get hated for it)

What I'm saying is that I think idols still feel the weight of the gaze, the expectations, the judgment of the people.

And on top of that, add the threat, the pressure of being part of an active military still involved in a war.

You know what I mean?

Being able to eat, rest, become a healthy weight, having people monitoring your health to ensure that you are, indeed, healthy, and not sweeping issues under the rug for the sake of a comeback, are of course positives. Don't get me wrong. I understand where you're coming from. But I don't think they make up for what the idols lose when they join the army. They have to put their whole career on hold for years. The career they sacrificed their whole childhood for. Blood, sweat and tears. The industry is so fickle, you can lose popularity in an instant. Peopls say even BTS will struggle to bounce back.

And how you join the military might affect your popularity too.

Like, when Suga was deemed unfit for combat training and became a social service worker instead, he got hate for it.

Or let's talk about Ateez. I've seen people (specifically from other fandoms and Ateez haters) speculate about how some members might not be eligible for military service, namely Jongho (leg injuries), Mingi (chronic back pain + a lot of ableist comments about his anxiety) and Wooyoung (autoimmune skin disease triggered by intense sweating).

If ineligible, they'd have to do alternative service like joining the police force or social services, places where they would not have to physically train so intensively. But they would not get to slack off in any way, and would still have to put their careers on hold.

And yet these people act like they'd be "dodging" the draft. Like they'd be cowards and criminals.

Conveniently ignoring the fact that the military has specific criteria you need to meet in order to join, and certain health issues might be a hard no. And that most idols don't have the connections certain rich, corrupt men have to fake ailments and actually dodge the draft (*cough* Trump *cough* for 5 times *cough* because as he told his advisors he was "just not going" *cough*)

You see how much pressure surrounds the whole issue of enlistment?

Some fans hate the idea because fuck the military, some hate it because omg I can't see my fave for two years, and some hate it because omg this idol is a crook and a coward for doing social services instead of learning to hold a rifle!!

See?

Now, my very personal, very biased opinion is that the vast majority of idols see enlistment as a necessary evil. It's something they have to do. So why lose sleep over it? It's coming, whether you like it or not. And it's what's expected of you, training to defend your country, so you might even feel proud.

Maybe you are right that they might feel some sort if relief? Like: finally I'm getting this over with and I'm not disappointing anyone, I also get food and sleep and health checkups as added bonuses.

I really don't know, I'm just saying shit lol but maybe you are right and I'm just too biased to see it.

It's my understanding that many Korean men enlist right out of high school, so they can get the whole issue "out of the way" before going to uni, starting a career, starting a family. Military service ends, and their life starts.

Most idols can't do that because right out of high school is the perfect time to debut, when they look young and innocent and approachable.

(Ateez is already hated enough in Korea for being scary/alternative/punkish, imagine if they had debuted buff and with a buzz cut 🙃 "Will you be my friend?" and people would be running for the hills)

But maybe when they day comes, relief might play a tiny part, because they can finally get military service out of the way and get a semblance of normal life for the average Korean man.

But still, in my opinion the cons far outweigh the pros.

As you said, the fear or losing your career must be overwhelming. Compounded by the fact that they are joining an active military.

Anyway, I sincerely hope no idol wants/is looking forward to joining the army specifically because they idolize power, violence, learning to shoot people, you know? People like that just unnerve me on a fundamental level. I understand it's my European bias speaking, I come from an environment where enthusiasm for the military means you're a violent asshole. Things are different in South Korea, a country that is still technically at war. But yeah, seeing the army as a necessary evil is very different that seeing it as something you just cannot wait to join.

I hope this makes sense lol it's 1AM here and my brain is fried because of uni and this damn exam I'm studying for. But this was a nice break, so thank you for you ask ❤

[neptuniene]

help! i don't speak english, i used a translate

Him: scorpio moon (8th), libra venus (8th), virgo sun-mercury-vertex (6th), taurus mars (2nd), pisces asc, gemini juno (3rd). Me: capricorn moon (11th), aquarius venus (12th), aries sun (2nd), pisces mercury (1st), asc in pisces, gemini mars-juno(4th), cancer vertex (4th). Synastry: his venus falls my 8th, his moon is between the 8th and 9th. his sun-mercury-vertex falls my 7th. his juno falls my 4th. my moon falls his 10th. my venus falls his 11th. my mercury-asc falls his 12th. my sun falls his 1st. vertex-juno falls his 4th. mars fall in each other's 3rd.

I dated this guy for only 6 months but I felt like we were destined from minute 0. I always had problems with commitment but with him everything was so easy, it was like jumping into the void wasn't so dangerous, he was the person I would do anything crazy with just if it meant having them at the end of the tunnel. Two weeks after asking me to be his girlfriend, he ended our relationship by cell phone because he couldn't match the intensity of my emotions. To me he made excuses that we were not compatible. To the others he said that I did not change my attitudes and that I was the worst person in the world.

Those 6 months were the most intense of my life. We were not the best for each other. Many times I lied and was disloyal. As was he on his part. Most of the time it was fighting, it was constantly living in that searing fear that he would leave me, that I wouldn't be able to complement the love I felt for him. It was telling him and having him tell me that I couldn't see all the nice things he did for me, it was losing myself in the need to feel loved by him. Still, I reached out to him many times when it was over. He promised me that we were going to get back together. We even went back to sneaking out again because he wanted no one to know, even if it was only for a week. Then, I blocked him and he was with everyone, and erased me from his life in an instant. But his email was not blocked and I contacted him. I desperately looked him up, told him it didn't matter if he messed around with other girls if it would make him come back to me. I told him that his words were my religion and the love I had for him surpassed any limits. I never got a direct response other than humiliation towards me or that he would ignore me completely.

It was my birthday and I waited for his message, I only got a like from his sister to my Instagram story and his friends stalked me. Before that I had stopped sending emails but then I sent him one again asking him if he ever understood all the mess he made in my life, in my person, in me. I won't deny that he promised he would come back but he also didn't tell me to expect it, for moments yes, for others, he said not to. He never asked me not to leave him alone, only that he was not going to answer me anymore. 8 months ago he left me. A few days ago he uploaded a story and he was with a new girl. They were at my favorite coffee shop, same place we sat the first time we went together, he ordered himself almost the same thing he did with me only now he changed his drink to a latte. And she also ordered my favorite dessert to share with her. It hurts me so much because when we broke up she promised to take me there to talk better, to fix things, to start over because she loved me too much to lose me.

He left me 8 months ago but there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, that I don't feel his touch on my skin. I feel like a damn stalker, someone who can't get over the past, I don't know what else to do to make these feelings bloom and come out of my skin. I can't stop crying, it feels like my husband was stolen, but it wasn't even a theft because he just left the wedding. I knew the 8th and 12th house synastry was deadly but I didn't expect it was getting into hell alone. And that hell is so addictive to live with the need to go back to it. I have tried everything to get over his lack of love for me but I feel like he didn't even get a small part of it.

What were your experiences with this synastry?

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

series summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

🔎 chapter one: “love is short but forgetting is so long”

🔎 chapter two: “did the love affair mail you too?”

🔎 chapter three: “you kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath”

chapter four: “help, I’m still at the restaurant” -> chapter five

‼️ best friends in this chapter: nikola (nik) , dorothy (dottie) and beatrice (betty). They all know each other from Oxford University where the four of them studied creative writing.

word count: +5,1k.

BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

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agostinabff: hope you have a lovely week off mon amour!! You deserve it. We love you 💘

↳ yourusername: thank u for being the best part of my life 💌

y/nstan: omg GIRL we are the same person wtf 😭

user4: who is he and where can i find him to KILL HIM?????

nikolabff: is my air bnb recommendation good enough ????? (That looks disgusting, uber eats exists darling)

nikolabff: can't wait for tomorrow!! London should be scared of us 😈

nikolabff: did dorothy call you? She isn't answering my calls

↳ yourusername: babes!!!! Aaaaaa i'm so excited. I just ended call with dottie. She arrived safe and well, i missed you guys so much 😭 did betty text you?

↳ nikolabff: tbh she didn't but you know how she is. can't wait to see you all tomorrow!!

arthurleclerc: hey y/n i know this may be weird but just wanted to say, i read your book and it is amazing! my brother was an idiot you know? you are an amazimg person im sure you'll find someone who loves you deeply (if you didn't already. maybe you did) okay, i don't bother you any longer. hope we can meet again someday!

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ a week ago 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

“There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true. There is happiness, past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries. Beyond the terror in the nightfall haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime and leave it all behind. Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt? I hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you. No, I didn't mean that. Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet” you read that piece out loud from your personal journal to your therapist. She stayed silent for a while. You looked over at her knowing you skipped some parts but what you read in the end sank in.

“I think there’s a lot to discuss from just that single piece you wrote. But I wanna ask you something before anything else: do you really believe there will be happiness after him?” your therapist made you a question that felt like daggers pinching you that resulted in leaving you breathless for a few seconds. you loved and hated therapy for this reason. There were things you couldn’t question by yourself  because you never thought about it and things you didn’t know how to answer like this one.  

“I wish I could say yes. But i don't think i’ve been happy since he left” saying that out loud hurt yourself even more. It was not something easy to admit and accept.  But it was the truth. You have never felt really happy since then. 

She nodded, writing down in her notebook “but do you believe you can be happy without him? Why is he still so important or has so much space in your life that you can't be happy if he isn’t there? Why were you happy when he was with you?” as always, too many questions with so few answers. You felt exhausted, frustrated by the fact you didn't know what to think about it all. 

“I'm sure I want to be happy, I can't live like this anymore. I'm tired” you assured her and  yourself. You took a few seconds to think and she respected that. “I guess if I want to then I can, right? I mean, I talk to my friends and all of them tell me time and time again ‘don't let what happened define you’ and I try but I don't know why it is really hard for me” you explained looking at the floor. 

“And what’s that definition of yourself?”

“That i'm not worthy of love i guess. that there will always be someone better than me, more attractive, more lovable, more interesting. I can't be the one, for anyone” admitting it felt like an elephant stepped on you and you just died in the act. Your therapist, Maria, nodded looking at you. 

“Well, but in what you wrote you tell this woman he left you for, that you hope she is a fool like you, right?” she intervened. You nodded. “What can you tell me about it?”

You looked at your hands a bit sweaty. “I really don’t know. I mean her existence made me compare myself to her. She is so different. It made me feel all of those things I said before. And maybe i blamed her existence because if she didn't existed then, charles would still be here” 

“You think so?” 

“I guess, yeah” you looked at her. She wrote down more stuff on that notebook you were so intrigued by. 

“So, for you, there doesn't exist the possibility that maybe he just stopped loving you? Like even if she existed or not - could be any other woman or could be no one at all. Would it hurt more if he just stopped loving you?” you felt your brain make a 180 turn on itself. 

“I don’t know. Maybe, yeah, I mean. I Think it’s easier to blame someone then not have an explanation for it” your therapist nodded. 

“So,  why would she occupy your same place then? If you are different from each other, why would she be just like you? As a replacement it seems and at the same time who’s at fault for all of this situation and insecurities. And before you answer, I think we can connect that to what happened between your dad and mom, right?” she saw your face so confused she knew this was gonna be the end of the session so you could think about it during the next two weeks. “You told me you discovered your dad cheated on your mom. So all you ever dreamed was to find someone who would be better than him, to prove yourself that that isn’t your destiny, just like your mom. And then Charles left you for this other girl. And everything you built up in your mind to try to believe in love and to escape from the reality you had to live through, then it crumbled down in that instant. Leaving you feeling like there was no way you could be worthy of love, because you tried but Charles did exactly what your dad did to your mother. And since then you couldn’t date anyone else. This is a theory, I'm not saying it is what it is of course. But it seems that if they didn't exist then you wouldn’t be this hurt and maybe forgive charles,as you said when you wrote ‘and leave it all behind’ just like your mom did with your dad”

Her words echoed in your head for a while. The knot in your throat intensified. “Charles was my everything just like my parents were. And after what happened, with Charles and my dad, I guess I let that define me. I wanted to show myself that the love i’ve seen in books and movies existed, not like in my house. I wanted to make things right. In a way, to mend what hurt me the most. The betrayal of my dad. So I put Charles under that pressure and maybe that made things the way they went down. I don’t know to be honest. I don’t know why I want alexandra to be like me. Maybe that’s another way of convincing myself I'm not the only fool in this mess.”

“I don’t think you are a fool. Relationships are complicated and the reason he decided to leave could be based on a million reasons, and even in that situation. Maybe any of them are because of you or who you are as a person. People are complex and most times messy. Feelings aren’t easy to control or understand” she explained to you. “So, coming back to this new encounter you had with him, how did you feel about it?” 

“It felt weird, very uncomfortable to be around him. But at the same time a force drove me closer to him. I wanted to be closer. Ask him everything and at the same time punch him. He felt the same to be honest. Just like the previous day he left, when everything was alright.” you pulled a face you didn't know how to describe at that moment.  

“And you felt the same?”

“No i think, i didn’t” she nodded and half smiled at my answer. 

“Then, what’s the new you he didn’t meet?” 

“Who i am now i guess”

“And who are you?” her question made you realize you didn’t know how to answer that question yet. You knew you were different, because you felt different although stuck dealing with the aftermath of that relationship. She noticed your silence (because she knew all too well you didn’t know how to answer it) and smiled gently.

“Alright, y/N. Let’s leave it here and continue next session, okay? See you in two weeks”

Who the fuck were you now? 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Mornings at your balcony were your favorite moment during the day. Your coffee was warm and comforting on a grey and windy day. You were covered in clothes and blankets. You needed that moment anyway. You wouldn’t let the winter win. You watched your neighbor cleaning his living room. He had his window opened so you could see a bit of what he was doing. However, you didn't see him very well because you didn't have your glasses on so it’s a bit blurry. You thought there was someone else with him. Probably a girl.but you weren’t that interested.the only thing you hated about your balcony was the fact that the view was partially blocked by that damn house up the hill. 

After a while, you took your stuff and went into your house again. You felt warmer instantly. You left the blankets on the coach and washed up what you used to have for breakfast a few minutes ago. You had to pack as soon as possible. On saturday, you travel to london to see your college friends and also because your friend franco, another formula one driver you met by chance at a college party, it was his birthday party. You wanted that week to be a good one. Be a week you genuinely enjoy and just be happy.

But after everything that happened the last month around Charles, it was really difficult. Your therapist was a really good help of course. But you hated not knowing how to handle all of these feelings you didn’t understand and that paralyze you. 

You only had one phrase in your head: ‘no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you’.

You couldn’t think of Charles as a bad man, or person or anything. Yes, he was stupid. And he destroyed your self esteem. And your trust. And yes, you still were kind of stuck in that restaurant. But you also had some kind of responsibility. And that also troubled you a lot. 

Your self esteem shouldn’t be defined by anyone else but you. What do you think about yourself? Who are you? That was your fault. You didn’t know how that would affect destiny for him to leave you but well, it is what it is yet. You kind of thought that maybe it’s the price you had to pay for putting him in a role he didn't want to be in. maybe you were too much. Too intense. Too dependent. He only wanted someone to talk and have fun with. But you wanted a good husband at 18, and a good father, and the one who would take away your pain and fix your traumas. 

Maybe he wasn’t the only one who hurt someone, but you also hurt him in some way.

Ten years in, and you still couldn’t explain what happened. What did you do or not do for him to stop loving you? Or perhaps you can actually stop loving someone but you didn't experience it yet. 

You sighed, reaching your travelling suitcase from on top of your closet. You almost fell so you had to grab a chair from your kitchen. You loved travelling but packing was a nightmare (also, because you couldn’t decide which outfits were good so you had to take two suitcases and pay extra everytime. Not that you didn't have the money and it was a problem. But you knew it was an unnecessary spend). 

That’s when you remembered how it was like to travel with charles. And you hated yourself for remembering his stupid laugh so cute it made your heart melt every time. Would he still laugh like that? Maybe it was best not to know it. 

If you were younger and he came back, you’d probably forgive him and leave it all behind just to be happy with him. But now, you wanted to leave everything behind: him, his family, the memories, the feelings, the hurt. And maybe that is what changed.

That was the new you.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Your laugh was so liberating. Your hair was free in the wind. He was driving through the Monaco coast. It was finally summer break and you decided to have a picnic at the beach. His hand on your tight. David Guetta on the radio. You were singing along without a care in the world. 

Your fingers brushed his hand making him look at you through his sun glasses in a beautiful cute smile. 

“You look gorgeous, cherie” you saw his lips pronounce those words in slow motion, feeling your every fiber get wild inside you. Your smile was so big and your cheeks pink. He could melt forever just to see you this happy. You wanted to freeze those moments with him and live in them forever.

“I love you, Charles,” you said so warmly and softly. It was your romance movie playing over and over again. That’s how you felt. But when he heard you say those words, his face turned serious. Almost pulled a face of disgust. For some reason you got so scared you wanted to jump out of the car to save your life. 

You wanted to save your life. 

He noticed you wanted to escape so he tightened his grip on you tightly, hurting you but he wasn’t letting you go away. 

“Charles, let go of me” you said almost in a whisper. Your breath was fast. You needed to jump. You started fighting so he would let you go.

“Stop, cherie. We’re gonna have our happily ever after, isn’t that what you wanted?” he said, trying to drive and grab you at the same time. You started crying not knowing what to answer. The anxiety took over you.

“You said you loved me cherie, you can’t go now” he was crying and let go of the steering wheel. You got desperate seeing the car had no control and you were at the Monaco cliffs.

“Charles! CHARLES!” you screamed from the top of your lungs as you watched both of you exiting the driveway into nowhere. All the sea around you. Slow motion Charles looked at you with a huge smile. 

“Happily ever after baby” he said and you looked horrorized. But when you were about to scream again as if that would change anything.

Everything went black. 

You woke up drowning in cold sweat and tears. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking. The feeling you had in that moment of pure confusion was scared to death. For a moment you didn’t know if you were alive or dead. Your room was pitch black so it kinda felt like you died. But you were thinking and you thought there was no way you could think when dead, so you were alive. 

After a few seconds of paralysis, you react and turn on your light from your bed table. You took a deep breath and scrubbed your face to wake yourself up. Your face was wet still from your tears. The moment you were conscious again you felt defeated. It was the third time in the night you were having this kind of nightmares, now three days in a row. You laid back again in bed for a moment.frustration was all over your face. You were so tired of living like this. Yet, you didn’t know how to stop. You grabbed your phone to see what time it was. It showed 5:46 am. You snarled, hating your brain more than anything in the world. 

You got up from bed and went straight to the bathroom to wash your face. You knew all too well you couldn’t be able to fall asleep again nor you wanted to. It has been a terrible night already. So you let your brain win once again. 

You went downstairs to your studio where it was warm. Sun isn't out yet, so here you’ll be warmer. If not, you probably would have chosen the balcony as always. Or the restaurant, although you haven't come back to it since the last encounter with charles. You just didn’t want to go back there ever again. Just like the time he left. 

You sat on your chair at your desk. Eyes tired. You opened your journal. You didn’t remember writing so much like in the past week or so. But you had so many thoughts to write sometimes it got difficult for you to function properly. You just had to stay at home writing non-stop. Not only your upcoming book but your feelings. After the dream you had, a lot must be processed. 

I know I'm probably better off on my own than loving a man who didn't know what he had. And I see the permanent damage he did to me. 

Never again. 

I just wish I could forget when it was magic. 

But I also just wish you could’ve been a better man.  

You sighed reading your words again on paper. You felt worried about yourself. Like, maybe you were broken and couldn’t ever be fixed. You were scared that you wouldn’t be able to fix yourself back up again. Or even thinking that maybe you were born broken so how could you fix yourself then? You were scared there was no way out of this pain, agony, self hatred, nightmare you have lived these past years… or your whole life. You dreamed about being in love again with someone so different from charles yet maybe who makes you feel the same high. Or maybe higher erasing every trace of him or memory of your dad. Now lines were blurry. You didn’t want to think about your dad, not only because he was gone and you couldn’t do anything about it, but because it felt weird linking him in some way to charles, but if your therapist said so, maybe you were more troubled than you thought. 

Would there be a good guy? Do they even exist? You guessed you’ve never met one of them yet. 

I hold onto this pride because, these days, it's all I have. And I gave you my best, and we both know you can't say the same. 

Were you writing about him? Or about your dad?

You stared at the wall thinking about the answer that never came around. 

Just like the both of them did when it came to you. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

It was 10 am in the morning already. You didn’t sleep a bit. You’ve been in a zoom meeting since 8. Talks about the movie in the making were held. Casting started so they sent you a few ones they think are perfect for the roles so you have to watch them after the meeting. Also, they go through the aesthetic and changes they will make from the book, and that’s why this meeting has been so long. They needed to discuss everything with you to make sure you agreed. They wanted to be respectful with your work and you appreciate it very much. It made you feel important. In other news, they thought that taylor swift could make the soundtrack for the movie and you got very excited about it. You loved Taylor's songwriting and believed (and were almost sure) she would make the perfect song for the movie. 

It was gonna be a long day ahead, full of work and watching hours of footage from castings. But it was for your dream. You still couldn’t believe you had your book be a movie in the making. It still feels surreal. 

Then you remembered charles’ ex followed you and liked your posts. And you were mad at him again. You were sure (no doubts at all for real), she didn't know who you were. Because he kept you buried like you were sin. 

A part of you wanted to believe he did it because he knew he fucked up and didn’t want people to judge him for his lack of sympathy towards his last lover. But at the same time you just found it cruel behavior with no reason at all to do that. You kinda felt dirty as if you were bad. Very bad. Banned from his life. 

You shook your head, getting yourself back to the present time and starting working again. Your lack of rest doesn't help in getting distracted with thought every minute but you were doing the best you could. Plus, work helps you not to think about anything else. And that’s good. 

You really needed a break from thinking. 

⋆˚࿔ finally the london trip arrived 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

yourusername made a post

liked by nikolabff, beatricebff, francolapinto, landonorris and 678,435 others

yourusername: first few days back in london = first few days of happiness ❤️‍🩹

tagged: @nikolabff , @beatricebff , @dorothybff and @francolapinto

view more comments

user345: girl is happy we are happy

user3: omg such QUEENS

↳ francolapinto: i guess ur not talking about me

↳ user3: oh im so talking about you too

↳ francolapinto: 🤨

nikolebff: the girls girled

dorothybff: happy looks very hot on you darling 🫦

beatricebff: can you kiss already??????

↳ yourusername: no ❤️

nikolabff: gossip so good bro was giggling and kicking his feet

↳ francolapinto: it was indeed

↳ alexalbon: better bring that gossip to the paddok asap

↳ yourusername: it's CONFIDENTIAL

↳ alexalbon: booooooo ur so boring

↳ oscarpiastri: i wanna be part of this group please

↳ nikolabff: yes you can sir

↳ francolapinto: i thought no one else was allowed

↳ nikolabff: stfu 🩷

User231: i love this crossover of y/n and formula 1 drivers. I would've never expected it tbh

↳ franstan: same!!! I love it!! Didn't know she was friends with franco

↳ user354: i think they met a few years ago, y/n was asked about it on insta questions and she said they met randomly at a college party

↳ franstan: interesting

User1: girl!!! You look so good omg

francolapinto: te amo amiga so happy to see you happy ❤️‍🩹

↳ yourusername: te amo tambien ❤️‍🩹

↳ user778: EXCUSE YOU ???????

↳ franstan7: OMG OMG OMG

user4: WHAT IS HAPPENING ?

user324: so no one is gonna talk about lando world champion fucking norris being on the likes ????? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

↳ landostan: that was what i was thinking

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ finally the london trip arrived 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Laughter was all over the place as well as a lot of bottles of alcohol with names you haven’t seen in your life. It was finally Saturday night, which meant it was Franco's birthday celebration. And because it was his birthday of course all the decorations were argentina flags everywhere and boca junior club t-shirts for everyone, including you. As you got to his house you were given one at the door to wear it. Fortunately, for you it didn’t ruin your outfit and I could say it looked great on you. Or well, that’s what franco said to you while preparing you a drink you haven’t ever tried before. He said it was called fernet with coke. You were already a bit drunk because you were drinking vodka with the girls while getting ready. You didn’t like vodka that much but after everything that happened in your life, you kinda felt the urge to drown in vodka or tequila. Mi gente latino music was playing non-stop. You knew Franco loved duki and bizarrap, and they were actually at the party. You couldn’t talk to them yet. So everything was a bit crazy even if you weren’t that many people. He was just a close friend to franco. So i guess it was like 60 people. Way too many people to be honest but for a famous 2 times world champion it was really a small amount of people so it was super intimate. 

“There you go, hermosa” he said, handing you the glass full of black liquid. You looked at it a bit worried in a funny way and grabbed it. He let out a cute laugh. “Try it, you’re gonna like it, i promise” he encouraged you. He couldn’t resist the view of you with that boca juniors on. Probably, the combination of you and that was his heaven made on earth. He was really down for you, since it felt like forever. Probably since that night at that party back 6 years ago or so. You always have a different light that anyone can match. and that’s what he liked most about you along with your authenticity. You were so unique to him. He looked at you biting his lip a little trying not to be so obvious. 

You tried the drink looking into his eyes. You were really close  but you felt really comfortable. Your friends have left you alone with him the minute he came forward to  you, of course. They really believed you could work out with him. And after vodka and long talks about it with them, maybe you would give it a try. But it scared you, you didn’t want to use him as a friend. So it was a risky situation in your opinion. Although, you could see he liked you for a long time now. And you found him funny and really attractive in your opinion. You give it a few more sips to taste it fully. “Oh I think I like it,” you said, giving him a funny smile. 

“I told you. I’m the best fernet preparer in this whole country… and also, I did it with love just for you” he said, making you laugh and blush after the last sentence he said. 

“I’m sure it’s the love you put in it” you gave it another sip looking at him. His face turned red and let out such a cute giggle. Alcohol was making you melt for your best friend? We guess so.

He got closer grabbing your waist and planted a sweet kiss on your cheek making you nervous as you never felt for a long time. However, it felt weird. Maybe as if this shouldn’t be happening. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Franco’s house was enormous. The party was being held at the gallery near his garden. It was cold but the lights and the people stuck to each other made it warmer. You were with your girls again dancing to bad bunny and los del espacio songs. You didn’t understand a word because Spanish was definitely not your talent. You tried to learn because of Franco, and he tried to teach you, but failed every time. You did learn a few words anyway but speaking fluidly was something you won’t ever do. Or that’s what you thought about it. It was your third fernet. You didn’t know it was so good. Also it could make you so drunk. And you were way too drunk by now but you never felt so happy. You were laughing about anything and everything. Dancing without a care in the world. Enjoying being surrounded by your friends. Charles wasn’t on your mind nor any trace of him or his family or the history behind you two. Memories have faded away, washed by the alcohol in your veins. You didn’t remember having so much fun since forever. Your girls were right. Life was so much more than Charles, you were so much more than what you were with him. And all of this you have it because of you and you alone. In that moment you felt liberated. Free from the curse it was put on you. Free of judgment. Free of insecurities. Until you saw that damn mullet and when it turned around you felt kind of speechless. Your eyes locked in that man you didn’t know but he was so hypnotic. You couldn’t stop looking at him. 

“Girl! Close your mouth, you're drooling! Is it for franco, huh?” Nikola joked when she saw you like that, making you laugh while shaking your head. 

“No it isn’t girls, is that guy over there i don’t  know who he is but he is so beautiful” you said pointing your finger in his direction unconsciously. Because when you looked at him again he was looking at you straight in the eyes. You almost freaked out and ran away from there. His fucking smile. What the hell is happening to you? Your friends looked over at him as well with no simulation at all. The four of you were pretty obvious. And that’s when another guy turned around to see where his mate was looking over with that face. Nikola almost fell to the floor.

She turned around freaked out, making all of you stop looking at them so weird. Alcohol makes you behave so embarrassing for your liking. 

“Holy shit girls, it’s oscar fucking piastri and lando norris” her eyes were leaving her face for a bit. You grabbed her arms still confused. You didn’t know them but you heard nik talking about that oscar a few times. Betty and Dottie looked over at them again but they were gone. 

“Okay they are gone nik” dottie said. Betty took a sip from her drink. You wanted to say something but you felt someone grab your waist from behind and kiss your head.

“Hello ladies” of course it had to be franco. You smiled nervously looking at your friends. One of your hands placed over Franco's arms not wanting him to let go. You liked it. Or that’s what you drowned in alcohol though about it. 

“Hello mister, i guess we will grab more drinks at the bar, goodbye bye byeee” Betty said, taking her two girls with her leaving you alone with franco. You laughed and resigned. Nik gave franco a warning sign ‘im watching you’ making franco laugh too. And they disappeared through the people dancing and talking. 

He kissed your cheek letting you go a bit so you could turn around to face him. “Hey handsome, where have you been? Are you having fun?” you said surrounding his neck with your arms and he did the same around your waist. He nodded in a smile. 

“Now that I'm back with you, I'm really having fun,” he said cheeky.

“Oh shut up” you said rolling your eyes funny because of his flirty side. 

“Hey, I'm telling the truth. I was with my school friends though ,they came from home” he told you and made you smile while stroking the curls on his head gently. Your fingers in his hair sent shivers down his spine. He couldn’t stop looking at your lips and you noticed. But you liked it so you let him. 

“I’m happy you’re enjoying your night fran. You deserve all of this love, world champion” you said sweetly looking at his eyes so shiny and deep green right now. Your words made him melt. 

And there were you, the girl who can win over the man known for being the most professional at flirting. You always win with him. He is so down bad for you he felt stupid. You were so beautiful in his eyes. So amazing. He hated Charles so much. He even celebrated when he retired. They couldn't even pretend to like each other and actually it was one of the most famous feuds between drivers in the history of the sport. Franco just couldn’t comment anything positive about charles. Even if he tried he just couldn’t. The most infamous moment was when Charles won his first championship and he was asked about it. He said he didn’t want to comment about it because he had nothing to comment about. So franco started to be known as the guy who was nice to everyone except for charles leclerc. And it was hilarious to see because no one knew why. And the why was always you. 

Franco wanted to have you and couldn’t. Charles had left you alone and destroyed another woman. How could he? Franco took that as an insult. You were an amazing woman. The most amazing woman he has ever met and that asshole did that to you. He just couldn’t stand him. Breathing the same air as Charles was unbearable for him. 

All of these thoughts rambling around and neither of you didn’t realize you were kissing already. Your lips melting into each other in the sweetest and softest kiss you have ever had. Even better than any kiss Charles could have given you before. You hated yourself for comparing every guy in your life with Charles, but you couldn’t help it. But this felt different. It was sweet but at the same time it felt so wrong. 

But you couldn’t stop. 

And you didn’t want to.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter fiver: here.

author's note: things are getting complicated around here!!!

tag list: : @a-beaverhausen , @priniya , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16 , @ricciardosheart , @weekendlusting

[galaxygurlll]

Project Fear x Y/n Schroeder - Prologue

Reader is Alex’s younger sister (same age as Dakota) and best friends with Tanner, Chelsea, and Dakota and everyone else. Reader does get scared easily, but takes a challenge like a champ, most of the time. Some places affect her more than others and she does have her moments where she doesn’t know if she can continue but does with everyone else’s help. She has the most trouble with getting badly targeted at the Prison locations and can’t figure out if that’s a good or bad thing but at hospitals, she seems to be the most liked by the spirits and ghosts there. She does become the most vulnerable at times though. She also appears as a regular on Sam and Colby’s channel, but that’s when she’s not on the road, filming with her group.

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-Few weeks prior-

-No ones pov-

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Dakota Laden 💛

Hello y/n!!

So, you know how Destination Fear is sadly no longer around? Well, good news... we're putting it on YouTube and calling it Project Fear!!! I've already talked to the others and they've all said that they're in. So now, we wait on you.

No pressure though, just wanted to let you know and ask if you're interested in coming back? If so, let me know and I'll give you more information.

Anyways, that's all!

Dak 😄

Sent at 12:56am

Seen at 4:11am

Y/n Schroeder 😆

Hey Dak!

Sorry for late reply, rough night so I just got/read your message about starting up 'Project Fear' on YouTube. I reckon this is a really good idea!

So yeah, I'm in for sure!! Good to know the others have also agreed otherwise I would be a bit more hesitant.

Can't wait!!

Y/n 💛

Sent at 4:28am

Seen at 7:09am

Dakota Laden 💛

Yes! Yay! I'll send you through more information now and I'll let the others know that you've agreed! Also, rough night? You good?

Sent at 7:12am

Dakota Laden 💛

Alright! I told them and sent you the info! Also, you can give small hints on your socials, but don't make it too obvious, we want to surprise people, girl!

Sent at 7:28am

Seen at 7:29am

Y/n Schroeder 😆

Cooool! I'll message them now and I'll put a subtitle hint up on Insta. I already have an "amazing" spot in mind!! But, all in all, I swear Dakota Laden, if I see something too real, I will hit you, on the head, repetitively. I'm being serious. And yeah, I'm all good.

Sent at 7:33am

Seen at 7:35am

Dakota Laden 💛

Believe me, I know! But, now I'm scared for your location girl. And alright, just checking.

Sent at 7:36am

Seen at 7:38am

Y/n Schroeder 😆

Don't be and thanks! Anywho, I'm gonna go get breakfast then head to the gym for a morning workout. I'm about to book a flight over to you as well since that was in the info if that's alright?

Sent at 7:45am

Seen at 7:50am

Dakota Laden 💛

Ofc girl! Now go!!!

Sent at 7:53am

Seen at 7:55am

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-Instagram-

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1 new notification.

y/n_schroeder has uploaded a new photo.

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y/n_schroeder Going on a trip to go visit some people!

Liked by alexschroeder4, tanner_wiseman, and 8,831 others

381 comments

alexschroeder4 Hey sis! Does this happen to be me, tanner_wiseman and dakotaladen7? Pinned ❤️ by author

64 likes

y/n_schroeder Who knows alexschroeder4, maybe 🤔

71 likes

alexschroeder4 Hmmm... ❤️ by author

12 likes

dakotaladen7 Wonder who? y/n_schroeder, do you even remember what time your flight is? Pinned ❤️ by author

60 likes

y/n_schroeder Okay, wow dakotalanden, rude... definitely didn't just have to check 😆

52 likes

dakotaladen7 😆 Of course you did! ❤️ by author

32 likes

chelsealaden Woah! Plane trip? By yourself? Aren't you scared of them? Pinned ❤️ by author

70 likes

y/n_schroeder chelsealaden 🤫 They don't need to know that! But yes, first trip alone on a plane!!

33 likes

chelsealaden Oops! Sorry y/n/n! Good luck!!! ❤️ by author

12 likes

tanner_wiseman Well, can't wait to see where you end up y/n/n! 😁 Pinned ❤️ by author

60 likes 

y/n_schroeder Can't wait either!

17 likes

tanner_wiseman 😁😁😁 ❤️ by author

9 likes

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Instagram page:

454 posts    88.1k Followers 1038 Following

Profile picture is like Dakota's, but instead, it's y/n

Y/n Schroeder

She/her

Producer/Editor/Swimmer/Author/Photographer/Paranormal expert & explorer

27 years old, born on 9/10/1995 - Libra

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-3rd pov-

-Plane landed-

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Upon exiting the sliding doors leading to the pick-up, she hears her name and, tiredly, looks over to see three people barreling towards her. Just a second before crashing into her, she realises that this is Alex, Tanner, and Dakota. She squeals into the hug and they separate with the boys taking her luggage and she carries her backpack on her left shoulder.

Tanner and Dakota walk in front with Alex and y/n behind as the boys catch up with y/n and she does the same with them. They reach the car and hop in, Tanner driving with Alex in passenger since Dakota wanted to talk with y/n and catch her up on more things for the trip that was happening in a few weeks time.

Y/n was so excited to be back at this, and, she could not wait to plan her location but she does know, that the others will probably be really annoyed at her choice. Hm.

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Next chapter

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/galaxygurlll

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A/n: Now transferring this story over! Four more parts are already written and will be moved over!

[putschki1969]

Hello Sarah, thank you so much for your update about kalafina. I'm so glad that you managed to see the girls live last January. I have a question do you know to how to access the broadcast outside of Japan? Since the website mentioned they are only available in Japan...

Due to personal reasons I can't go to the concert and I'm pretty desperate want to see them live. I still freaking out and still can't believe the reunion happened, It's still a bummer that I can't go...

Hello there!

I received a similar question a few days ago and finally had some time to respond to it. Here's the post ⬇️ (Fair warning: You'll not like my reply)

I am sorry to say that I don't have a good answer for you. Really wish I could be more helpful. It's truly frustrating whenever I reach my limits as a fan😞

But rest assured that I will do everything within my power to get my hands on a recording as quickly as possible. Just like everyone else, I am beyond excited to watch the concert. Cannot wait to experience this miracle once again!!