#i can't wait to get home already
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fuck I'm so overwhelmed rn I'm at PE class rn and I'm sitting out bc I don't feel well but bc of my trauma I had in the past I have to always look around and worry abt a ball smashing into my face and that makes me very stressed plus theres a bee flying nearby and I have a HUGE fear of insects
#fuck#i hate it#i can't wait to get home already#ts is making my neodivergent brain stressed#🦑experiment failed#vent (?)#its more of a rant tho
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I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass
- counting crows, a long december
detail below the cut (and wolverine angsty musings in the tags lol)

#poolverine#the song lyrics are supposed to reflect upon logan's pensive facial expression#I imagine even after he's settled in with wade and feels like that dumpy lil apartment is a sort of home#he would still be waiting for the other shoe to drop#because he's never been able to hold onto happiness for long and he sees no reason this time would be the exception#and when wade is asleep he isnt there to distract him from these thoughts#so he just. drifts off into a melancholic daze#vaguely wondering what will happen to wade#to althea#to puppins#to laura#what bizarre universal machinations are already at play to tear what joy he has been able to scrape together#and quietly ruminates on what he'll do next once it is all inevitably ripped away again#which is why he secretly prefers when wade us awake and Constantly Talking#(though he would never openly admit it)#because then he can just listen and block the weight of knowing deep down it can't last because it never does#I wonder how long it would take him to accept that he couldnt lose wade if he tried#deadpool and wolverine#deadclaws#wolverine#deadpool#logan howlett#old man yaoi#wade wilson#deadpool & wolverine#anyway just always thinking about them on some level#also I'm reading that “psychology of wolverine” book and it just. damn. he never gets to hold on to anything or anyone for very long#especially not worstie
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HAHA I CALLED IT WE'RE NOT GETTING SEASONS IT'S A FLORA/AMBIENT NATURE UPDATE YESS
#Wildflowers... leaf litter.. falling leaves.. oughhh#Everything was pointing to flora update but I can't wait to see people complaining that we didn't get seasons#Firmly believe mojang will never add seasons for a whole host of reasons and frankly idk why people expected it#Especially because the new features are way more at home in the game?#Like I'm very happy that they're going back and enhancing already existing features/biomes and I hope this becomes a theme for this drop^^#graee yaps#minecraft
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cheers to the future of humanity (and the future of us)
[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun. The illustration takes place during the ship/home arc, specifically chapter 21. At the center, Vash is grabbing Wolfwood by the collar and pulls him into a kiss in the middle of a celebration. The pair is colored in vibrant warm hues while their surroundings are colored in cooler colors like green and teals. Luida, Brad, Meryl, and Milly are shown amongst the crowd, occupied in the celebrations as Vash and Wolfwood share a moment by themselves at the center. END ID]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#hospital yuri (explodeds) like any average vw enjoyer i will never get over that arc#specifically the scene where they heard the news of earth ships coming and did that little handshake they somehow conjured or#Had already. and then the entire ship had a party... meryl and milly started drinking immediately from joy and dragged vash and ww to get#wasted too and overall celebrate together. the chapter moves quickly just like how the hope was quickly withered out and died just hours#later when knives destroyed it. BUT IM JUST THINKING ABOUT IN THE MOMENT OF IT ALL bc in the same chapter#ww asks for a chance for tomorrow and then gets news of earth ships coming. in this same arc vash is thinking of all the things he needs to#resolve so his home doesn't get attacked so the people he love doesn't have to die and the humans he wants to protect gets to live.#i feel like deep down they both semi-recognize that it can't be this easy and regardless of earth ships coming- there's still a wait for#them to arrive and they have to hold out. and regardless ww still has a mission to follow through and vash knows knives would find out#but in that mood of celebration the entire ship brought in - they can at least let themselves relax for a moment and indulge#how they basically engaged with no violence for the few days they were on that ship coaxing them into domesticity... i feel like their#thoughts would wander to somewhere soft and all#allowing them to push aside the tiptoeing and tenseness and be sweet for a night#ruporas art
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Everyone shut up, The Cure released their new album today

I'm taking the day off
#well. what's left of it#this is going to be the only thing i talk about for the next week#i've been waiting for this all month#'a fragile thing' and 'alone' have already found a home on my pompep playlist#they're both excellent#can't wait to hear the rest of the album#the cure#robert smith#songs of a lost world#fanfic fuel#GET FIRED UP! GET FIRED UP!#yeah i watched the crow last night i'm in full goth mode now
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killing my father he's irking me so badly
#just go and . talk with ppl your age i have nothing to say to you#every time we come here he tries to get all friendly friendly lmao#like aaalright bro perhaps do not put your hand on my shoulder#eugh#it's the same with my mom actually i can't stand it when they're touchy in any way#i don't even like when they stand close to me💀💀💀💀💀#a hug is so bad#and i am a very touchy person lmao#like if we're talking abt love languages i would say physical touch is first💀💀💀💀#anyway#i can't wait to go to bed already#and to go home already hhhhhh#mayor of loserville
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2024 Las Vegas GP | x
#max verstappen#autumn posts#sorry if already shared!!!!!#I needed the second one for my favorites tag because AHHHH#favorites ❤️#gosh........#sopping wet 😵💫#his grip on the bottle the champaign leaking onto his thumb pressed down to keep it in 🫠✨💦 okay!!!!#I can't wait to dive into insta more!! I'll be searching when I get back home from irl holiday times#hope everyone is well!!! ❤️🌅✨
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What if the person (You) chosen for the housing association was nonbinary and used they/them pronouns? Would their gender be respected by Home or would they be misgendered/have gender roles be forced upon them? Further, would Wally even consider applications with people identifying as such? Would he respect them, or be content with what Home decides is right? There were trans and gender nonconforming people in the 60s-70s, so it wasn't unheard of but considered rare.
It's a special kind of horror for sure, and something I could see Home in this au doing to someone to make them suffer (to clarify I myself am nonbinary and have a morbid fascination with such dynamics being explored).
Actually yes. Sex and gender would be very important. Originally, I was going to make this from a comic perspective of (You). Sort of from a first person view. I would make that person Wally's wife. But I'm probably going to have to change that. Just so I can include anyone, (especially you)
I need to make character sheets actually detailing these things.
This is going to be an especially heavy AU with very religious undertones. I sort of take Beta Wally and run with him. The idea here is almost forced conversion, and being made to accept yourself. Even if that isn't how you feel inside. This is supposed to be hell, and this specifically is about personal stagnation. You're encouraged to be you (the you, you were born/made by God as), even if it isn't who you want to be. It's a horror we all knew of in the 2000's, I grew up with a lot of stuff surrounding that.
Lot of Christian/Catholic undertones, even when the God we'll be dealing with is an Eldridge abomination that's bored and playing with humans.
In other words! Yes, please include yourself. But this is the 70's and the characters very much have to hold themselves as they would in regular social situations. Those characters that are trans (like Poppy) or are gay (like Frank), their truest self is behind closed doors. Though, ultimately this is about self discovery. No, their pronouns won't be respected for a while at least. But that might change, it depends on how the story goes. It'll probably end up being fairly disjointed.
It might be better to make two characters. One for the start, how they were before. Then another, or when they actually discover themselves. The big thing here is "breaking free".
#welcome home#wally darling#the housing association#very good question#i already know this is going to be a very touchy comic at first#i want to show how people reach those conclusions avout themselves#i want to show how someone knows they're different. but that growth takes a lot of pain to get there. that what makes queer people strong.#welcome home au#I can't wait to really start this up#maybe i should make a moodboard or something#walliford darling
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i am forced to give my guitar to my cousin ONCE & he 1. loses my fav plectrum (it's in the guitar hole 🤬🤬🤬) 2. jams my plectrum holder and 3. snaps a cord located inside the guitar hole ???? it's just dangling outside idk im gonna bash his face in the next time he comes over
#he was literally begging me all day to let him play my guitar and he can't even play it right !!!! like just stick to the melodica my dude#and he lied to me about losing my pick he was like “oh I put it in the pick holder i SWEAR” but when I called his dad (my uncle) he texted#me like “no wait i think it could have sLiPpEd oUt 🥺🥺🥺” like YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GONNA SLIP OUT.#MY CHAPPAL.#and then he sort of confesses that it MIGHT'VE fallen into the guitar hole. like. I'M NEVER GONNA GET IT BACK BROTHER#and then !!!!! my plectrum holder just. stopped working. like it jammed. i can't take any of my picks outta there#i just KNOW he fiddled w/ it but he's lying every step of the way so im too pissed @ him to have a civil convo w/ him abt it#and now !!!!! once my mom came home she reached into the guitar hole & stared at smth for 5 mins & went.#“what's this” & when i looked up it was !!! a goddamn snapped wire/cord !!!!!#WHAT WAS HE DOING W/ MY BELOVED GUITAR !!!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!#i hate him i hate him so much !!!!!!!! he took advantage of me leaving for my tuition to fucking demolish my guitar#the next time he comes over in june i swear if im not on the news for fratricide .#i should rly start a tag called hashtag mrinalphobic 2025 because guess what this year's already been like 😃#মৃণাল#mrinalphobic 2025
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I am at the eye doctor
I dragged my ass out of bed and made it to the dang eye doctor on time
The hardest part of my day is done
#now i just have to have my retinas photographed and do the periphery vision game#already had the air puff eye pressure test. which is the main reason i'm here#i have elevated intraocular pressure and i'm diabetic so i am on Glaucoma Watch#weeeeeee#mod post#i am so tired my dudes#yesterday was a lot and then i had trouble getting to sleep on time. and then i kept waking up#can't wait to go home and rewatch the new dungeon meshi with hubby#and just chill... and probably nap
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#wer#wer rugby#women's elite rugby#tc gemini#twin cities gemini#lol they had them do it in a friggin' parking lot#daytime news is always so hilariously awkward#but I love to see the word getting out there#I already have my tickets for the home opener and I can't wait!
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also btw i did the most stupid thing ever
#so yk#i wanted to buy a pair of jeans#so since i was coming home for Christmas#i decided to order it online#but at the time of ordering#i distinctly remember putting my home address#and i waited and waited for it to come#and then i recieved a call from thr delivery#he told me he was standing outside my college#i was like 'but i'm at home'#then he told me he can't take it back#I'll have to some how collect it#so then i remembered that my roommate from first year was staying back for reasons#so then i called her#and she told me she's in Rishikesh 🤡#but she told me one of my classmates is still back in there#but THAT DUDE FOR THE LIFE IN ME WOULDN'T PICK UP HIS CALLS#so then i had the texr in the official college group if anyone was back there in college#and this very kind soul replied to me instantly#she even went out to get thr parcel but by then the dude told me that he's already left#so he'll come back tomorrow and gimme the parcel#which is today#and that kind girl told me she'll get it for me#🥹🥹#such a pretty soul#not to mention the parcel is cash on delivery 🤡🤡#so I'll have to send her the money online#🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡#clownery at it's peak#cherry coke 🍒🥤
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hate hate hate that I am no longer used to write on my phone.
#I would write 1000-1500 words at night by simply typing on my phone at 1am#but now I don't feel like I am able to even write a short scene#and I have to wait until I'm home to get to my computer#but it'll be too late (aka 10 pm) when I get there and by 11pm I have to be in bed so I can wake up at 6am again#let me fix these fucking chapters 😭😭 my hands are itchy to fix this awful continuity error#so I can update once a week as I wanted to#if I finish chapter 5 and get to chapter 6 maybe I can post chapter 4 but I need to have chapter 5 completely done#cuz I have Jessica have a silent meltdown at the end of chapter 5 that I'm no longer happy with#cuz it's a bit too convoluted even for me#and I hate how little free time I have#I was supposed to work on it from 6:45pm to 7:30pm on my tablet cuz I bought a keyboard so technically it's like a mini pc#but my uni friends felt the need to keep me company so they invited me to a bar to drink something#and I couldn't tell them that I actually wanted to be alone to write some dumb fanfiction#so I accepted and while I enjoyed it. I couldn't stop thinking about this fic 😭#I can't even read others' ff cuz my mind is just thinking about mine.#I already feel bad about not being able to comment per chapter anymore as I used to#so I have to give it my utmost attention at least#whatever. me rambling.#personal
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Welp. I came home sick from work because my cough is worse today and a little lower in my chest. Wearing a mask gave me some humidity to breathe, and that helped a bit, but I took it off when I got home and now I'm coughing again. I'm going to take a hot bath and breathe in the humidity for a while.
#I'm also going to google how long should i wait before going to the doctor#it's only been a week that i've had it but it was starting to get better and then got worse again. idk if my body will take care.m.#...of it on its own or if i need to get help. i don't want to go to the doctor and pay $40 for a visit if they're going to tell me to stay..#...home and drink water and rest bc i'm already planning to do that.#there are so many things at work i want to get done. but i can't be around other people like this. there's so much gunk in my chest.#i can't pass this around#my boss is fine with me staying home while i'm sick. so at least i have that going for me. god i'm so glad to be out of retail.#personal#illness
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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