#i can't tell you how good it feels to be right about characterisation

[servicpop]

✶ ﹑ "please don't be mad" ﹏

NOW STARRING : deliquent (almost bf) Adrien x good student m!reader

「ㅤN(?)SFW / SUGGESTIVEㅤ」ㅤreader avoids Adrien n Adrien does not like that

✙ warnings — making out, grinding, knee thing, no actual smut, stops before it escalates, unconsentual kissing, Adrien has yandere/obsessive tendencies, semi-public

notes ,, originally requested for Vallen but I decided that Adrien would fit better since Vallen hasn't really been characterised yet (I have plans dw!) See pt.1 and pt.2 ♡

You were avoiding Adrien for a good reason you swore!

After he baited you underneath the staircase you couldn't help but avoid him. The way he praised you, held you, and left that pesky little bite mark on your neck. You had to hide it especially during gym class, playing it off as your pet biting you and some people played into your bluff luckily! You would never admit to liking such a deliquent like Adrien, you were such a good student, averaging straight As, your behaviour was perfect and you were even the student president. But... your heart fluttered everytime he kissed your ears with his hauntingly soothing voice and everytime he flashed his sharp canines at you in a toothy grin whenever he saw you... Snap out of it! You were mad at him for luring you in like that.

Adrien seemed to have caught on too.

He loved— adored you but he'd do anything to respect you so he did what he thought you wanted, space. He hung out more with his gang, no longer giving silly excuses to go see you and your pretty face. Sure it hurt him and he had to rely on the memory of you two fucking underneath the staircase but he could tough it out right? Wrong. It had been weeks, did you even care about him anymore? Everytime a girl or a guy walked up to you he swore he'd kill them on the spot for breathing the same air as you. You were so buddy-buddy with everyone else but why not him? It was reaching the point where his fingers would twitch, aching for your skin against his, and his eyes would narrow seeing others steal your smile. His smile.

So, as any good boyfriend would do, he decided to corner you.

It only really took one try to lure you in, on the way to your English class every Tuesday you would walk through a more secluded part of the school behind one of the buildings, no one went there because no one really knew about it. There, he caught you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you to the wall, pinning you to it as he panted.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Adrien's voice was firm, scolding, and assertive. He held your shoulder against the wall, his face right up to yours. You didn't want to answer that question so you looked to the side, refusing to speak. You couldn't tell him it was because of your conflicting emotions and how you always felt this weird warm feeling in your stomach when he was around.

"You're such fucking bratty boy you know that?" His growl met your ears as the grip on your shoulders shifted to your wrists as he forced his fingers through yours, holding them as he pressed his lips on yours, shoving his tongue past your lips. His knee made it's way between your legs, grinding on your crotch like it was nothing. It was natural that you moaned and it was natural that Adrien took advantage of that, thrusting his tongue deeper in your mouth in a sloppy kiss.

You caught your breath when he pulled away just for it to be snatched away from you when he went in for seconds. You tried to call out his name but your words were blocked by Adrien's warm tongue. His knee pressed a little harder on your now hard cock, this kiss was really turning you on and he knew that. He knew everything about your body.

"Fuck— Adrien I can't tell you why I've been avoiding you," You growled, voice raspy from the kissing. "Yeah you can, you're just stubborn," Adrien clicked his tongue in a faux disappointment as he finally pulled away, wiping away the string of saliva collecting his lips with yours. His dark eyes met yours, almost as if he was trying to read your thoughts but failing to reach your head, "I don't want you to hate me," He grumbled, trying to get you to speak but you sealed your lips. You couldn't tell him, not now.

He took a moment to admire your flushed features, the way your head was slightly tilted down and how your wrists were binded to the wall by his larger hands. Oh and he couldn't forget the obvious tent in your pants. "Just for that..." He leaned forward, whispering in your ear as his knee rubbed against your bulge, "I won't give it to you."

What.

Adrien fully just pulled away. Would cockblocking be the word to describe this situation? He brushed through his dark hair before turning to you, "Until you can stop being mad at me, I won't fuck you like you want it." And he left, just like that. The sound of the bell snapped you out of your shock, shit. You were late for class. Adrien was so gonna get it after this.

notes ,, I don't think I wrote this well but I'm too tired to fix it T_T Also Adrien and reader are probably not going to actually get together anytime soon sorry! I like the slow burn chase of their dynamic

[prettyoatmeal]

Hey there! I'm new to your work, but I love reading through it so much. I don't know if it's already been done, but could you do a part two of the pegging request with a few of the others (ex: König, Keegan, Roach, Alejandro, etc.)? I notice you do a lot of 141, so I didn't know if you wrote others. Just thought I'd ask. ^^

CoD Charatcers and How They'd React to Reader Asking to Peg Them (König, Keegan, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Valeria)

Warning!! nsfw, mdni, pegging, afab reader in mind using a strap, heavy dom/sub tropes, slight exhibitionism. A/N: Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't write one for König, but his time is now.. then plus some. Hi guys!! Its nice to see you again after a month (????)!!!

Part 2 to this.

Masterlist here!

***************

König I think would just be super confused at first. Not because he's against it, but because he's never thought about it before and is genuinely curious why and you'd find pleasure in that. He's supposed to be doing the fucking..? Why are you...? ...?!?!?!? And he's just scratching his head. But nevertheless, he agrees because he thinks he'd enjoy it though he can't help but be a little embarrassed because he's getting folded in half by his smaller partner.

Unlike Gaz or Soap, you'd need to be very gentle with him. He's a little bit tense when starting out. The lube is cold, the feeling of your fingers in him is unfamiliar, he wasn't used to bottoming like this. But he trusts you, so he isn't against spreading his legs for you.

Very quickly becomes very whiney once you start hitting against that perfect spot inside him. You feel him jolting a little, letting out a gasp and you know you got it.

His thighs squeeze around your sides, calves resting along your hips as you thrust into him with your bright pink strap. You thought it would've been awkward, not expecting the size difference and power difference to combine well, but it did. He keeps you close, his lips on yours at all times until he eventually buries his face into you neck only to moan and whine and cry into your skin.

All in all, it's sweet. He was definitely taken aback with just how much he enjoyed it, craving more and more from you.

"Schatz, p-please. Need more."

So you do the ol' reliable, placing a pillow under his hips, angling your hips just right. And it begins to drive him crazy. His pretty eyes roll back, his lips parted as he moans out your name over and over and over again like a mantra. His cock leaking like a faucet, his tip an angry red and begging for attention, a shiny layer of sweat covering both of you as your hips slap against his ass over and over again.

And it isn't long until he cums untouched, his back arching into the bed as he pulls you into a kiss and moans into your mouth.

**

Keegan is at I've seen characterised as a freak fr so I feel like he'd be similar to Gaz. If anything, he'd want you to fuck his brains out spontaneously.

He's very much the type to purposefully rile you up just so you'd end up pushing him up against the wall, or even tugging him by his collar to the nearest unisex bathroom. He can't help it! He's a massive slut for his lover. Therefore it's always a good idea to keep a strap on you where ever you go with him.

If you don't have any lube around, he's very adamant of you shoving your fingers into his mouth to slick them up. Maybe he'll even bite them a little just so you deliver a slap on his cheeks.

There's really no telling when he wants to stop pushing you. He'll actively fuck himself back on your fingers when they're inside him, going against anything you're telling him just so you be rougher with him. All in all, his main goal is for you to fuck him like you hate him.

With barely any prep, he lets out long whine at the first thrust inside him, wanting nothing more than to be used by you. One hand on his cheek pressing him into the wall, the other gripping at his hip as he arches his back into you.

"G-God, fuck. Harder, please!"

He's gets so vocal, barely able to keep his moans back. Lets out the sluttiest moans as he finally reaches down to quickly jerk himself off, spilling his load over the wall.

Definitely asks you to be rougher next time. He wants you to put him in a chokehold, wrap your hand around his throat and restrict airflow, bend him over and press his face into the bed, make him beg for mercy. Certified freak 7 days a week!!! Let's just hope you're ready to do all the chores around the place for the next couple of days because there's no way he'll be getting up without a stabbing pain in his ass.

**

Roach is really just a blank canvas character, someone that was created for people to insert themselves into his shoes. So with that being said, I'd think he's into it. Nuff said.

You wouldn't need to do all too much to get him to submit. If he's a blank canvas, then I'll make him into a masterpiece. First time with him would be the first time he's getting pegged, period. Unlike König who's a little tense, Keegan or Gaz who are a little too into it, Roach is a neutral.

It's easy to bend him over, press your hands down on him to keep his back arched like a cat, knead his plump ass a little bit. It's so cute that he'll take whatever you give him. Whether you're rough with him making him whine and cry, slapping his ass and spitting on him as you give him no prep, or coaxing sweet moans from him and praising him as you slowly push your slick fingers into his tight hole.

He starts getting so desperate, wanting nothing more than to beg for you to finally fill him as you press the tip of your strap. He wants to push himself back against it, his cock rock solid, dripping with his pre just at the thought of it. But he's too much of a good boy to do so.

So when you finally fill him with a quick thrust, it makes him go dizzy.

He's a real sight for sore eyes; ass in the air, your hands holding him arched and in place, his eyes fluttering closed as he buries his face into the bedsheets below him, the prettiest moans escaping his lips. Soft and breathy, his voice breaking every time you slam against his prostate. He's not as vocal, but there's no denying the sweet noises that are forced from his throat with every thrust.

He's such a sweet boy, completely melting into the bed as you lean down, a wide smile on his lips as you press kisses against the back of his neck.

"Please, please, please, please, please!"

He'd beg as you finally reach down to give his throbbing dick attention. He's definitely saying thank you after he makes a mess of the bedsheets.

**

Alejandro is another one where I don't see him enjoying it all too much. He prefers to do the actual fucking rather than getting fucked. He'll fuck you like it's his last day on earth, giving you the most mind shattering orgasms known to man. He's definitely a BDSM guy for sure, a rope bunny while at it. But when the tables turn, he's unsure about it. He really doesn't believe it's something he would enjoy.

Alejandro is proud of his masculinity, maybe he has too much pride, but being in a place of submission like that is embarrassing to him.

He'd feel awkward being in a place without control over himself which is why I feel the most he'll allow you to do is use your fingers.

Lubing your fingers up, he'll allow you to bend him over once, just once, and only to try it out. Safe word in mind, he caves and lets you bend him over the counter.

"No funny business." Out of everyone on the list, Alejandro is definitely the most hesitant.

Tensing up as you push a finger in, he almost backs out. But knowing how adamant you were about him trying out something new, he makes up his mind and lets you do your thing because he's thinking that just maybe he'll enjoy it.

Like every instance, you curl your fingers to press against his spongey prostate and he jolts in surprise. Hearing a barely audible, low 'fuck' coming from his mouth, you curl your fingers again only to be met with a whiney moan.

"Is that a good fuck or a bad fuck?"

"Good... good fuck, god, please keep going."

Jackpot.

It isn't long until he's jerking himself off, pushing himself back onto your fingers. He doesn't want the feeling to end, though he regains some of his dignity during his post-nut clarity.

"Maybe we can do that more often.. if you want to.."

**

Rudy is a tricky one for me. I'm not that much of a Rudy stan to have an opinion on him + pegging. But I've seen him characterised as a sweeter and more reserved lover. I feel he'd be more like Ghost. He'll take your fingers, maybe a vibrator, but he definitely isn't ready for your strap right off the bat.

He'll ask you to be gentle, face flushed and looking away as you slowly push a finger in him. Curling your fingers in just the right spot would make him let out an embarrassingly loud moan, looking away, his face flushed. Taking advantage of this, his eyes roll back as you abuse the hell out of his poor sweet spot. The feeling is new and strange but oh god, it feels so good. It's immediately too much for him, his cock pulsing and throbbing as he cums so quickly just from your fingers alone.

Switching over to a vibe would elicit the most humiliating noises from him. It's so cute because he'll beg and beg for you to go easy on him, his poor tip flushed and red as you overstimulate him. Torturing him as you press the vibrator against that perfect spot inside him, coaxing him to another shameful orgasm, precum running down the underside of his shaft as he thrusts his hips into the air, it drives him completely mental.

"P-Please! It's too m-much!"

"I'm not hearing red." and he gets so flustered, he's burying his face in his hands.

But red never leaves his mouth, this thighs clamping around your hand as he spills a second, third, maybe fourth load all over his tummy, but that's only if you haven't drained him for all he's got. He might just let you peg him next time.

**

Valeria is all for it. A girl has needs, sometimes a girl just needs to be filled with a strap, and she is A-okay with that. Val knows what she wants and she knows she's going to get it.

Power play is a massive thing with her. So even if you're the one gripping the back of her knees and slamming into her, he won't hesitate to remind you she's in charge.

She'll allow you to lay her down, slowly undress her, spread her legs. She'll let you fill her with your strap, make her moan under you as you hit all the right spots inside her. But you're not leaving her without the pure filth that escapes from her mouth between her heavy breaths.

"Always making me feel so good, sweet thing."

"No, you don't get to stop. I don't care if you're getting tired, this is what you wanted."

"Fucking into me like a bitch in heat."

"Pussy drunk slut for me."

"F-Fuck.. mmh, d-don't stop."

She tends to get a dirty mouth when she's close, almost begging you to rub her clit for her until she gives in an does it herself. You can't blame her, you just didn't respond fast enough!

But it's not enough for her until her legs wrap around your hips, forcing you as deep as possible as she squeezes around the strap and cums around it with a long moan.

After that, she gives you no time to react. You're getting pushed back onto the bed while she returns the favour until you're begging her to stop from sensitivity. But that's okay, because that's what she likes.

***************

After finishing this, I've realised I've put a lot more effort into this one than the 141 one.. whoopsies 😭

[ghouldtime]

you’re the most correct and sane könig writer and I thank you so much. you characterise him so fluidly and it makes it so so good to read what you write about him. I’m praying to any and every god that paranormal investigators AU wins so we can get fucked up cryptid könig

AHHH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 💚💚💚💚💚 I'm glad you like how I write him!

I'm aware how I write him isn't like most of the fandom but I just try to give him somewhat solid justice and keep in-character of how I see him/what we do know. I'm just never going to get behind the realllly really awful things that I hear/see most times for him. Like you do you if that's what you want to write, but I'm also going to ignore all content like that because a lot of it is just. Gross. I can't even LOOK in the tag anymore (Genuinely convinced people just are projecting their own horny desires onto him regardless of how he is which is why there's so many really nasty interpretations that just don't fit him??? Also idk who is the person who started the 6'10" rumor but genuinely I'm coming for you it's so dumb and makes 0 sense. He's tall, not THAT tall, I don't think everyone realizes how tall that is and how many issues that causes.) Can you tell I'm easily distracted IRREGARDLESS of what wins, I will happily do fucked up cryptid König. Just a matter of time

And deciding on the creature. Any suggestions are absolutely welcome, throw it at me? I'll write it.

[Minus the cannibalistic W one which I will not fully name out of respect and a similarly popular one starting with S, ending in -alker , that also belongs to Native cultures which I have 0 right to use and would feel like shit doing so. They've been really bastardized by popular culture into being a gimmicky thing instead of treating with proper seriousness and intent when it comes to the topic of them, watered down, and I'm NEVER ever ever going to write using those because it's not in my right to do so]

[playmiya]

chapter three: world is a fuck previous ⎯ masterlist ⎯ next

Atsumu's running one hand through his hair and shoving the mask in his bag with another has he sprints up the stairs of Otsuka.

One of the newer, nicer dorms of the Uni, he almost feels jealous of his building, characterised by its old architecture and patchy Wi-Fi. His knee hurts from where the thief from earlier managed to land a kick, but he pushes on, wiping away blood from a stray cut on his cheek and hoping it's not a deep wound.

He throws the door open to the common room, surprisingly empty at 8PM on a Tuesday, to see your figure intensely taping your knuckles as you wince. Your eyes flit up to his, and you fumble with the tape until it stretches into a long line, hanging from your hand. You gaze at the cut on his cheek, and he stares at your hand til he clears his throat.

"My cat knocked over a bowl."

"My dog's got way too much energy."

You giggle, and he laughs, feeling more comfortable as he drops his backpack at the door and moves closer to the couch you were lazing on.

"You must be Atsumu," you say, offering him your free hand, which he takes. "And you're [Name]?", he asks, giving you a once over. He can't help but appreciatively admire you, which doesn't go unnoticed.

"Are you seriously checking me out right now?", you gasp, wrangling your hand from his. He falls into his witty, charming ways almost immediately.

"If art's staring right at ya, would ya not admire it?", he drawls, and you roll your eyes in mock annoyance, unable to hide the way your lips quirk up in amusement, despite the cringe.

"You must say that to every girl you meet. A little bird tells me that you meet a lot," you speak, settling into the couch as he pulls up a chair in front of you.

"I didn't know this was an interview into my personal life," Atsumu responds in faux shock, pleasantly surprised by your directness.

"Well, that's really what's getting the views for us, isn't it?", you say, flipping your moleskin notebook open and clicking your glittery pink pen.

"I'm being objectified and I don't like it," Atsumu jokes and you make a laugh, scrunching your nose in the process.

"And no, I don't. Say that to every girl I meet. Just to sassy editors that bite back," he adds, and you have to fight the weird feeling in your stomach to continue this interview in a more ... professional manner.

Clearing your throat, you ask him if he's ready to be recorded, and after his assent, you start.

"Okay, rapid-fire questions now. Please answer with the first thing that comes to mind." He shoots you a thumbs up.

"Greatest accomplishment?"

"So far? Repping Japan at the U19 Worlds."

"What are you grateful for?"

"Myself", he smirks, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes again.

"Dream dinner guest?"

"Myself 20 years from now. To see if I've made it."

"Do you want to be famous?"

"I already am."

"Current concern?"

Washing the blood out of my suit. "If my roommate left me any dinner."

"What song did you last listen to?"

"2 soon by keshi."

"What's a secret skill that you have?"

I can shoot webs from my wrists! "I'm really good at skincare."

"Okay," you murmur, scribbling as he spoke. He feels like peering over and reading what you wrote. "Longer questions now."

"How do you manage your time between being a student and an athlete, as well as enjoying campus life?"

I don't, is what he wants to say. He barely hangs on by a thread — or a web, if you will — taking each day as it comes and knowing that as Spider-Man, he'll always need to have excuses up his sleeve to run from one commitment to another. Instead, he blabs about schedules and planning and using Notion, which in reality scares the shit out of him.

"What do you think about the current competition in the volleyball circuit? Are there any players who you think could bump you down the rankings at the draft?"

"Everyone's good," he says slowly, considering his words, and then a lazy smirk settles on his face. "But I'm the best."

"Riiight," you intone, writing something down. "You do know this is being published?", you add, and he hums. "I said what I said."

"What are your opinions on the current safety concerns on-campus?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. "I still gotta do what I gotta do. We got Spider-Man. He'll protect us."

You raise an eyebrow. "All the time? Don't you think we should take matters into our own hands?"

Atsumu's taken aback by your response. He knows reactions towards Spider-Man are extreme; some hate him, while others love him, but this is new.

"Has he ever let us down?"

"Well, yeah. He let a Five Guys get absolutely demolished by Electro last week, Rhino ran through a block in May, and everyone knows about Tokyo tower—"

He has to hide the burn in his cheeks from the embarrassment of Tokyo Tower, remembering the humiliation of that evening. "Yeah, well, some may say he was trying to protect everyone from heart attacks by letting that Five Guys get destroyed, and that Rhino thing was just police negligence if you think about it," he protests, and you scowl.

"He's a good hero, sure, but not the hero. We need more than just one guy swinging around to keep Tokyo safe."

He's about to open his mouth when he feels the hair on his arm raise, and that awful feeling of something cold creeping up his spine settle into his bones. His phone beeps with an alert, and he sees Osamu's text flash across the screen. Fire in a mall nearby. Suspected work of an arsonist.

He doesn't notice your phone light up, and Yachi sending you the screenshot of a headline along with a location, and the way you begin squirming in your seat, wanting nothing more to finish this interview now.

Atsumu beats you to it, making the worst excuse he's possibly ever come up with.

"I'm having an attack of explosive diahhrea."

taglist: @diorzs @egoistars @southernfrogprincesd @dazqa @milesmoralesluvs @she-lovesmyheartshapedsunglasses @dailyakira @giocriedpower @punkhazardlaw @loverlunaire

[the-house-of-auditore-frye]

We need to talk about the men in MK1

Wow.

WOW.

I really don't understand how they managed to make everybody SO BLOODY ATTRACTIVE?!

Even characters like Reptile were made into Boyfriend material.

Kenshi is a babe. That's it. That's the statement - he's a babe. His attractiveness ascends my language abilities to articulate how attracted I am to him in this game.

And Johnny - SO DAMN FINE! They struck the perfect balance of all Johnny's qualities with the features of a young Harrison Ford (which my followers will know has a certain power over me). Also I love that they made Johnny a hot nerd - who doesn't love a man that was ready to just dive into ancient Japanese history during a conversation.

And of course my dear Kuai Liang SERVED LOOKS in this game - I could cut my hand on his jawline...

This game has made me PRIMAL in ways that are dangerous to my psyche... but am I going to stop panting over the thirst traps that are Kenshi Takahashi and Johnny Cage? No.

Under the cut, I'm going to put more details reason's about why and how I want these fictional men to rail me which will probably make more sense to me followers but by all means, feel free to read! (But I will warn, it gets explicit so reader discretion is advised)

The amount I desire these men to dominate me is just unhealthy but let's get back to basics.

So those of you who have followed me for a bit (or I guess just looked at my page) will know that I have loved Kuai Liang and Hanzo since MKX. In MKX, I also had the hots for Kenshi and Johnny but not to the same degree. Then MK11 came out, obviously Kenshi isn't in it. I liked Older Johnny but not younger Johnny. As for Liang and Hanzo, I liked them a lot but not as much as MKX.

Then this DAMN game was released and like the timeline, the whole playing field was reset.

Don't get me wrong, I still love Kuai Liang in this game: he gives off such tender Lover vibes that I just want to stay in his arms ALL DAY. I mentioned that jawline right? I loved him and I love what they did with the familial relationships between him, Bihan and Tomas. When it was first announced that Kuai Liang was going to be Scorpion, I wasn't thrilled since, in my heart, that will always belong to Hanzo. They landed it tastefully but I still miss him as Sub Zero. Overall, I loved Kuai Liang in this game but Kenshi and Johnny were on another level.

Kenshi. KENSHI. The hold this man has over me. I can't tell if I want to be tender with him or animalistic: I genuinely go from "I want to remove his blindfold and kiss his scarred eyes, reminding him how much I love him while softly running my fingers through his hair" to "I want Kenshi to remove his blindfold and tie me to the bed, reminding me that I'm his toy to play with in any way he sees fit while fingering me with his tattooed hands- OH. HIS HANDS. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I WANT TO SUCH ON HIS FINGERS WHILE HE CALLS ME A GOOD GIRL. I AM SO SUBMISSIVE TO THIS MAN THAT IT'S NOT HEALTHY.

I think out of all the characters, I was most impressed by the characterisation of Johnny. Don't get me wrong, Mileena, Sindel, Baraka, Syzoth all got the storylines and re-characterisation they deserve but with Johnny I was more impressed because less changed about him. Like I said, I've always been a bit hit-or-miss with Johnny but this Johnny was perfection. Immediately making him a hot history nerd rather than an airhead was brilliant, it gave a depth to Johnny that I've never seen and it played off Kenshi perfectly. It's kind of like when you're with a group of people and a random topic you love comes up and suddenly you go on a 10 minute rant about why it's fascinating before realising everyone is just staring at you in confusion: it made Johnny so much more relatable. Also I love the sense of humour they went for in this game with Johnny. In prior games, I sometimes felt like Johnny was trying too hard to be funny for other people but in this game, Johnny is unintentionally hilarious and his jokes are mostly for himself and I love it. The first time I saw "Ripley!" I genuinely couldn't stop laughing for like 5 minutes. Also his beloved Hichulli, peak comedy. But let's get to the juicy stuff: HIS DESIGN. YES PLEASE, SIGN ME THE HELL UP FOR IT. I want to just cover his face in kisses. I want him to cover my face is kisses. Also his nose... I mean, I'm sure you guys have noticed that I like prominent noses and Johnny's when I saw his made me go red. MK1 Johnny going down on someone would be an ethereal experience (especially since he never stops talking which I might request a fic for) and part of that experience would be the nose. Just general though, the facial shape, the hair, the nose, the jawline: it all slays, just like Johnny.

So now having read all this, you can see why I don't let myself talk about the men of MK1: I just become a whore. This game opened my eyes to kinks I have NEVER been into cough cough threesome with Johnny and Kenshi cough cough blade play using Sento with Kenshi cough cough recorded sex with Johnny cough cough... In summation: this game has reduced me from a somewhat mentally adjusted young woman to a neanderthal that wants to be breeded by two fictional men called Kenshi Takahashi and Johnny Cage.

[seventeenpins]

take me higher

pairing: Lucien Flores x F!Reader

word count: 1.6k

summary: You run into an ex at a party. You never learn.

content/warnings: weed use, dubcon (if you want? read it however you prefer), Lucien's a selfish lover and a fuckboy, shotgunning, fellatio, getting too high, a complicated and undefined relationship

a/n: Turns out I am not immune to Lucien Flores. Wanted to make him hot, but a fuckboy asshole, and definitely a mistake. Whenever The Uninvited is released, I cannot wait to see how off or on the mark we've been for these characterisations lmao. This was written quickly, now i'm posting and bouncing for a few hrs. Hope there are no major errors 😅

If you're honest, you can't remember how you ended up here.

You remember the party. Some of the party? And you went--somewhere. You're not sure, but you think you were on his lap for a while, but your limbs went away. Maybe you slid down? Now you're on the floor. This is probably the floor.

Your head is foggy, and peeling open your eyelids takes more effort than it should, but when you hear the bubbling of a bong, you turn your head lazily to look at him.

Lucien.

Fucking Lucien.

"Open that pretty mouth," he runs his thumb over your lips and presses it just between your teeth, making a satisfied mmm. "Love lookin' at those gorgeous lips."

His hand traces along your jaw, holding you now by the back of your head. Your lips are guided to forward and you forget where you are for a moment. You expect to feel flesh. Instead, when your mouth presses against something, it's cool glass. The bong. You had heard bong noises. By muscle memory, you reach forward as if to light it. Then you realise, it's already been lit and filled, the chamber already swirling with thick white smoke.

It's a ridiculous bong. Bright and gaudy, just like his ridiculous silk shirt. The piece is probably hand-blown. Artisan crafted. Almost certainly cost a fortune.

You want it.

Maybe, depending on however long your relationship lasts this time, you can get him to buy you one. Or you can just steal his.

Without any more direction, you start the inhale, trying to keep the breath smooth.

"That's it, now. Take it slow. Just a little more-"

You clear it.

Just as you're about to exhale- "Good girl. Hold it there, baby. Don't you dare let it out yet."

He leans himself down and pulls you up. Parts his lips, your mouths so close they're almost touching.

"Let it go-" he commands, and you do, breathing the smoke out and into his mouth.

He holds the smoke for a moment himself. Then blows it back out, letting it waft up into the atmosphere.

Or, towards the ceiling?

You're actually not sure if you're inside or out.

"One more, baby, you can do one more for me," he coos as he prods the end of the lighter into the bowl, packs the greens again, re-ignites.

You don't know how many hits you've had. It feels like you've been smoking for hours. Your limbs are all gooey and loose, your head dense and unfocused. You can tell your heart's racing, but it's kind of a comfort. A consistent tattoo that you can ground yourself with.

You're dazed, happy, pliable.

"Open up," he orders, and you comply, pressing your lips against the mouthpiece again.

This hit is a little harsher, closer to the end of the bowl.

You try to do it right, try to breathe out slowly and gently, let the smoke pass right into his mouth. Instead, you erupt in a fit of coughs and you feel a hand on your back, rubbing up and down in gentle circles.

"Oh, you poor thing," he says, and you can hear the grin in his voice. "That hit too rough for you?"

You can feel tears in your eyes from the tickle that's still in your throat. Then, a thumb brushes them away.

"I remember you right, though, you always did like it a little rough, didn't you?"

You want to respond, want to say something to him, but instead you just nod.

"Poor girl, so stupid she can't even talk," he mocks, "That's okay baby, we don't wanna make that throat too sore, do we? Ain't been used enough to tap out already, huh?"

It takes effort, but you shake your head in agreement.

"Are you tired, sweetheart? You can rest your head, if you need. Just for a minute."

You're not sure if you move, or if he pulls you, but now you're closer to him, tilting forward, resting your head on-

What are you resting your head on?

Oh.

Oh.

Your head is in his lap, his cock hard in his pants.

Any dry mouth you'd been feeling a moment ago disappears. You start salivating.

Unthinking, you press your tongue hard against the inside of your cheek. Given the way he groans, he definitely felt that.

You do it again, tentative, testing.

"Shit, baby-," his breaths sound more like shudders and you love how pathetic he sounds. "Need your mouth on me right fuckin' now."

You rock back and give him space as his hands work furiously at his fly, unbuttoning the waistband and pulling the zipper down with a satisfying swish. Hitches up his hips. Pulls his pants off.

He isn't wearing any underwear. Then you remember it's Lucien; it would've been more surprising if he had been.

He's still got his silk shirt, but it's open now. His chest is exposed, delicate chains glinting against his freckled collarbone.

His cock is heavy, thick against your cheek.

"Open up, baby, put that mouth on me."

You pull yourself up, still foggy, and run a wide lick along his length, ending at his tip. He's salty, musky, delicious. You've missed how he tastes. It's like coming home.

He seems to feel the same way.

"Missed that sweet mouth on me, baby," he groans, and holds himself by the base, smacking his cock head against your lips.

Slick has striped across your mouth and you dart your tongue out to lick your lips clean. He growls, watching you. Takes you by the back of the head again, guiding your open mouth to stretch around his fat length.

"That's it," he praises, rocking his hips, forcing you to take him deeper, "Look at you all stuffed full of me."

You start to gag but he pulls back, just the littlest bit. "Know you can do better than that," he admonishes, "Better try again."

He adjusts his angle just a little and starts thrusting into your open mouth again. The angle is better.

"Good girl," he breathes, letting each word be punctuated with a thrust, "My good- fucking- girl-"

You're able to take him to the base, throat full, nose pressed against the coarse hair between his thighs.

Mmmm. His thighs.

You can feel yourself drifting, losing focus. You're encased in him.

His thighs.

Soft and hairy and buttery-smooth, you stroke your fingertips along the insides of his thighs and let him fuck up into your throat.

Does he have a skincare routine for his thighs? You wish your thighs felt like his. Fuck.

A sharp smack lands on your cheek.

"Stay with me now," he tells you, "Back to work."

You realise you'd been slacking, your mouth still filled with cock, but he's not in your throat anymore. You're not doing your best work. You can do better.

You grab onto his hips and, to his surprise, set a new pace.

It's punishing.

Tears start spilling from your eyes, running down your cheeks and landing on his thighs.

You blow him like it's the only thing you were made to do. You want your mouth to be the best hole. Better than your pussy. Better than your asshole.

A mind-blowing hole that he'll want to use again and again.

A hole he won't leave.

You feel his balls start to tighten as he gets closer, and you keep moving on him, bobbing up and down, fucking his length with your throat so fucking expertly you should get a dick-sucking medal.

"I'm nearly there, baby," he gasps out, "Wanna cum on those pretty lil tits."

He pulls you off of him and yanks down your top. It's a blouse, one of your favourites, actually.

It's about to get stained.

You don't stop him.

He strokes himself once, twice- then lets go. He shakes, moans. Cum splatters across your tits, along your neck, a few spatters landing along your jaw and chin.

Lucien steps back to admire his work. The almost-pearlescent sheen of his spend glistening across you.

"Even better than I remembered," he smiles, and kisses you, not bothered to avoid the cum on your face.

The high has started to fade, just a little.

He pulls his pants back on. Buttons his shirt. Cards a hand through his hair.

"Better get cleaned up before you head back in," he grins, "Don't want everyone to know what we got up to, huh?"

You're still foggy, but you shake your head.

Lucien disappears. You wait for a minute, hoping he might come back with a washcloth for you.

He doesn't emerge.

You find a place to clean yourself.

You're in the garage, you realise. Must have been this whole time. But facing the open door, towards the trees and the night.

There's a sink and a towel near the door to the house. Hoping desperately that no one will try to come through the door, you wipe his cum off of your chest.

The blouse is stained, but there's a jacket on the chair you were near. You shrug it on.

The party, you discover, is still in full swing.

The head fog, the daze, the confusion, it's hard to cut through, but when you find everyone else, you see Lucien, drink in hand, flirting with a pretty young thing over in the corner.

He turns ever so slightly, catches your eye, and winks.

You realise how fucking wet you are, head swimming, panties drenched, and you hate how easy this is for him. That he can just walk away. Doesn't feel any need to satisfy you the way you always want to satisfy him.

He's a mistake you know you'll make again.

Time to leave, you decide. You call a lyft. Find a mirror to make yourself somewhat presentable.

You exit through the garage. His bong still there.

You take it with you on your way out.

[nanomooselet]

My Brother's Keeper (I)

So, uh, I have seen the complaints that Stampede is "poorly-written". Often enough, really, to get... somewhat overly bent out of shape about it. Stampede was my entry into the story and I may have mentioned once or twice that I like it. You know. Just a little. This is not to say it's without its flaws, but it's technically very skilful, at least to my eyes. It's just… skilful in roughly twenty-two minute chunks, so it crams a whole lot into those chunks.

Vash tells Wolfwood he can "see [kindness] in his eyes" half an hour tops after hitting him with a truck. It's assumed that they're relying on previous characterisation of the two to carry this beat.

They're not.

See, animated shows or films (and definitely in the case of Stampede) aren't only written. They're story-boarded, rendered, scored etc. and all the parts interlock with the other parts. It has to be taken as a whole: spoken, written, visual, musical, situational, compositional. These are twelve instalments of a single story where everything in it develops, comments on, or reflects what lies at the work's thematic heart, but you have to figure out how. It's not going to explain it to you. If the relationship between two characters appears strange, that's because there's more to it. And whenever you see something in it that visually echoes something else in it, get out your pasteboard and stick in two thumbtacks connected with string because the show's letting you know it's important.

Now, because I viewed Stampede first, my reaction to this part was very much like Wolfwood's ("???") but the more of the show I watched, the more sense it started to make, and the more I appreciated what it did for Vash's characterisation. Having since read the manga, in my opinion the boys aren't at all interacting like they're accessing past-life memories. Vash is too busy silently reeling over Jeneora Rock and dreading his confrontation with Knives to keep up the whacky act that the older WW pierced. Wolfwood is too young and trapped by his own hurt to empathise by seeing through Vash's false smiles.

There's something else going on with these two, and if you think carefully, it's clear what it is. There were two loved ones that Vash lost tragically early in life, and we can assume it's not Rem he's thinking of.* The heart of this series is "the song of the brothers."

Whose side are you on?

I have to choose.

Lo and behold, through that lens the character interaction made a whole lot more sense. And I want to talk about how.

So, according to the show's language, right from his very first appearance Wolfwood has a connection with Knives.

In the ensuing scenes/episodes, it was then clear to me that Wolfwood isn't just connected to Vash's brother. He's a representative, serving as a sort of understudy while Vash journeys to confront the real thing. Anything and everything Wolfwood does or says is with that role in mind, because he's either playing along or fighting against it. It dictates his development as the show unfolds. He's got a job and he'll do it, but which of the twins' agendas is he ultimately serving as he does? Even he can't yet be sure.

This is a significant change. It has a huge effect on Wolfwood's characterisation; it's why he comes across as less confident, more surly - he's rebellious, but conflicted and immature. In the manga, the first time we meet Nick he's (mostly) his own man and he (mostly) makes his own decisions. While he isn't honest about his agenda, he is trying to temper Vash's idealism for honest and well-meaning reasons, albeit in a bitchy way. When he reveals himself, throwing down the coin halves, you feel the man is protesting too much so it'll make what's coming easier on Vash. Despite how deeply the two came to love each other they couldn't communicate their forgiveness, but Wolfwood is at his core a good man first who lost his way, then finds it again in Vash. **

Again by contrast in Stampede, Nick's identity isn't his own to shape (yet). He standing in for Knives, and he doesn't much like it. He does know more about the actual shape of things than the reporters - for instance, he doesn't bat an eyelash when Brad mentioned how long they've known Vash. So he can readily talk with Vash and test his convictions. They basically both know each other's biggest secrets already, so they don't have to make a whole production of getting to know each other.

But standing in for Knives is also why the introductory aw-look-he's-nice-really scene is so quickly revealed to be staged. Knives is the primary antagonist, not a neutral agent - he's the most dangerous and personal opponent the protagonists face. He's also cruel, controlling and manipulative. His "help" is anything but. Any gift he seems to freely give, like a protector, will either extract an awful cost down the line or have some hidden purpose (if he isn't "solving" a problem he himself created). Approach with caution.

(You know how Nick did something no one asked him to do then hit Vash, Meryl and Roberto with a massive bill for it like a dick? You know how he then violently rescued them from a situation he himself engineered so they'd have gratitude? Those are Knives's most basic manipulation tactics, when he isn't just hurling verbal abuse: I help you/I love you so I'm entitled to take this from/do this to you. Wolfwood is causing problems on purpose by acting out because it's funny, and knows he won't get whatever he's demanding. Knives thinks he's helping, and rarely hears when he's told "no".

Also, both the English and the Japanese have Roberto calling Wolfwood someone who kills with a smile on his face. He doesn't, really, but we have met someone else who does.)

That means like every other character, Wolfwood isn't quite himself. Not yet.

And that's actually awesome. Because it speaks to who the other characters are - specifically, about Vash.

(Part II)

(Part III)

(Part IV)

(Part V)

(Part VI)

(Part VII)

* OR COULD IT BE, as inevitably assumed on tumblr when two men are in proximity, unspoken romantic desire????

I'm not saying it can't be a factor, but it doesn't explain why they start having discussions over their principles like they've known each other for years. Or at least, to me it doesn't. As I've said I don't ship them. If you disagree, it's totally fine! Hear me out and decide for yourself. There's no reason to believe both can't be true.

** By what's coming, I mean the same development that eventually comes to every iteration of Wolfwood. You know the one. And by "they loved each other" I don't mean necessarily mean romantically. My personal belief is that there were mutual feelings along those lines, but they're both too emotionally reticent to acknowledge them and might not have regardless. But that's just me!

[onesidedradiostatic]

So you know how I said something about writing a fic inspired by your existence. I've started a little, but I don't know, I fear that the way I write might be confusing in some parts. So I'd very much like to hear your thoughts, if you want to share them

___

“Indeed, I quite enjoy our commonalities. I’ve always found more fun in spending time with my radio and friends than looking for someone I haven’t met.”

What if you’ve met them now? Vox thought, discreetly, not at all looking into Alastor’s lovely red eyes. Shoot! Vox downed another drink, hopping Al didn’t think him weird. Still, can’t leave a friend hanging, say something.

“I love you.” WHAT!!? NO! NOT THAT! “I- I- I mean, there is someone I love.?” Yeah, sure, he’s totally gonna buy that.

“I- Good for you?” Alastor started unfiltered, surprised, before going back to his normal, lovely radio voice. “And who might that be, my good fellow?” Wait, he bought it? No, don’t be an idiot! He’s totally psyching us out! Well, I’ll play your game and I’ll win!

“You know, just a cool dude with the pretties’ eyes and loveliest smile.”

“A dude?” Alastor questioned. Wait. Why does he sound so confused over that? Did- he had actually bought it?! Wait. We just told him we like guys, right? Is that, bad? What if he hates us now? What if he thinks we’re weird? Awful? Repugnant? There’s no way he doesn’t know we love him now! Practically said it to his face twice! Twice! No! I can’t handle that! Please! I- we have to save this.

“Hey Al, just forget I said anything.” Please. You’re the best thing in my life. So, whatever happens, please, stay. I need you. ___

I feel I need to rework some of the above parts, but unsure off how. Regardless, I hope my characterisation so far is good, I'd imagine that the love Vox has is more an obsession that genuine care and Al is just living his best life having fun and not really picking up anything Vox is putting down. I especially like this little exchange:

___

“Vox.”

“Yeah?” He could see that once genuine smile turn sinister. Oh. Hot.

“This is hell, everyone here is a repugnant wrench, so if anyone ever tells you you’re wrong. Just relay that me, I’m sure we can make some use of their meeker existence. Everyone has a voice, after all, and if they want to use it so much, who are we to say no to helping them? Right dear friend?”

“Yeah.” Vox couldn’t help but join in on the sinister smile. This is exactly what makes Alastor, just so Alastor. He genuinely cares and will make any opponent of his friends another key in his piano of the dammed. A horror feared by all, but a few, and Vox is one of those few. ___

I just- their dynamic is so fun Alastor being all "Yay! Murder!" while Vox just thinks "OMG! He's doing all this for me?! There is no way he doesn't love me!" I think one exchange that exemplifies that is:

___

“Oh! I wouldn’t say I’m the best at giving advice when it concerns matters of the heart. Me being heartless and all that. Hah!”

Alastor’s little chuckle is one which Vox can’t help but adore. He’s probably heartless because he’s already put his heart in a box and is just waiting for the moment he can give it to me. I’m reserved, special, he’s waiting for me. He can only be mine and I only his.

“I’m pretty heartless too.” Vox respond, joining in Alastor’s play. He doesn’t mind being a puppet on a string, as long as he can play the most important part.

“Oh, I’m quite aware dear friend."

___

He's just can't think, there is only Alastor in his head. Plus Alastor not understanding that there is a misunderstanding is just making Vox believe in the delusion more. Bet his screensaver was Alastor themed before they had their falling out Also, sorry for this being quite long Hope you have a lovely day at least!

(reference to this ask)

hi sorry for responding to this late, hard to say much without a full story but I appreciate the thought of it being inspired by me 🫡🫡, but yes I do love vox being down bad for alastor, exploring some of the period-typical homophobia definitely is interesting, alastor could easily have not had that normalised for him and vox... depends on how much he ventured through his bisexuality in life or whether he only accepted it in death. his screensaver being alastor themed skjdfkglhl. very true

[silverview]

I love your tlw thoughts sm!! :D

I'm on like my sixth rewatch currently and I've been curious about how Chas seems to handle the "Mick" situation and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that in particular?

aahh thank you so much!! ❤️❤️ that's such a good question! i will say as much as i have to say about it (very incoherent i'm afraid) + then would be VERY curious to hear your thoughts on the matter as well

it makes sense to me that chas doesn't react to the mick thing straight away. well, he tries to deny/avoid it, appropriately enough. he internalises the stress of it to avoid making it joe's problem. not necessarily the right or smart thing to do, but i genuinely think he is trying to be kind & generous by trying to ignore it. when he finally brings it up, it's reluctant – apologetic, even. he only mentions it because he can't help it anymore. i think he dislikes being (or seeing himself as) the sort of person who always has to say what he's thinking. and he feels bad for bringing down the weekend.

so, focusing specifically on the confrontation scene, as it turns out i have a lot of feelings about that (i mean how could i not, it's such a good scene). it's serving an important purpose wrt chas's characterisation and, because it's a very well-written episode, it's all in service of making the final twist more painful

firstly: "i don't mind. it's just that we normally tell each other when we're flirting with someone, and we laugh about it." just to make sure you know it's not the texting someone else that bothers him, it's the possibility that joe could be keeping a secret from him. because oh how very OPEN and TRUTHFUL they usually are with each other! how they always tell each other everything!

secondly, when he finally works up the courage to confront joe about it, he is .... i want to say gentle about it. he's not angry, he doesn't even speak loud enough for joe to hear him. he's sad, vulnerable, apologetic & clearly ready to forgive; all he wants is the truth. he confesses his own kiss with another guy, even though he could easily have gotten away with not saying anything, which i think is particularly significant for once again underlining the value he's placing on honesty & openness. and he instantly accepts the explanation joe gives him with no evidence. } all of which to say:

essentially what we're seeing here is chas reaching a character development apex. literally in that confrontation scene i think we see the culmination of his personal journey over the past nine (or eighteen, or forty-eight) years, where he has finally become the sort of person who will handle this situation in this specific way. (draw a parallel with reaching the penultimate/"depression" stage of grief, where it falls in the episode.) in a different context, it might be something to celebrate. on the positive side, he is no longer the angry person he was 18 years ago! he no longer lashes out! he has learned compassion and is willing to take responsibility for his own mistakes! and to look at it through a darker lens: joe has finally finished manipulating him into the perfect victim! narratively this scene is the end of the road for chas, there's nowhere else he has left to go except his finale

when he finds out mick is a woman, he says: "i've never been so happy." :) that's how you know the end is nigh of course. the betrayal isn't brutal enough unless it comes at the exact moment of maximum contentment, trust, and love. essentially the whole mick ordeal is there to test his trust in joe, to make sure it's finally 1000% solid and ready to be exploded

– by that i mean the script put it there to test him as a narrative device, but i suspect it was also an in-universe test/game. you're telling me joe has maintained this elaborate deception for years, and now suddenly he's leaving his phone lying around? he was doing it on purpose, to set chas up for the "worry -> relief & Peak Happiness -> ultimate betrayal" pipeline. absolute mad lad. someone capable of that has got to be INCREDIBLE in bed. makes you wonder what other little games he set up to torment chas over the years

[inkblackorchid]

What the hell happened with Crow: an autopsy (Part 2)

Hope you didn't think I'd forgotten about this post yet. Lads, ladies, and other lovely people, here we go. I have more yelling about bird boy to do.

But first, a few disclaimers. For people who may have missed part one, yes, as the title implies, this post is part two of an attempt to analyse Crow's character throughout 5Ds' whole run. You can find part one here. Now, both for people who may not have the time/energy to read my first, huge post about this right now, let me explain what I'm about here before we start again: My analysis is not meant to deter people who like Crow from liking him. It's also not meant to convince Crow haters otherwise, even if I admittedly personally like Crow. All of this stuff is just my personal attempt at dissecting how his character was handled in the show and why that might have been. And because this is part two, and I covered the Fortune Cup and Dark Signers arc in the first post, I'll start with the pre-WRGP arc, then dig into the backstory Crow was given directly before the WRGP begins properly. Also, mind the length of this post. I'm physically incapable of writing short things.

I also feel the need to reiterate another thing before I really get into the meat of things again: If you were hoping to see any old rumours about 5Ds confirmed, this is the wrong post. In fact, thanks to the very thorough work of someone over on Reddit (another shoutout to @mbg159 here, who's the author of those posts), I know for a fact that literally all the big rumours surrounding Crow are one big pile of logistically impossible horseshit, and I think after so, so many years of people citing this nonsense, the fandom as a whole finally deserves to let these go:

No, Crow was not meant to be a dark signer, least of all the final boss of season one, and Blackwings were not the reason he got more screentime later.

No, Aki being sidelined was not the result of her irl voice actress' pregnancy.

Yes, I know these two posts are both a long read each, but I cannot begin to tell you how tired I am of these rumours. So even if you don't have time to read the stuff above, please take away this: The big 5Ds production conspiracy theories are. all. bullshit. Because, to put it in as simple terms as possible, none of them work out logistically. The events people have pretended affected the show's production in a major way all don't line up with the actual production timeline. So just can the rumours already. Please let them die. And no pitting Aki and Crow against each other on his post or because of this post, yes? I beg you, I am so tired. Ok? Ok.

All right, now we can get to the good part. In my previous post, I left off at the end of the DS arc. So, in what position is Crow at the end of the DS arc? He helped save the world by defeating Goodwin and got his very own signer mark after Rudger/Roman Goodwin's death.

And now, where is Crow at the start of the pre-WRGP arc?

(Bam. Delivery bird boy be upon ye.)

This time, Crow wastes absolutely no time coming back on screen. We see him again within the first episode of the second half of the show, and wouldn't you know it! He moved in with Yusei and Jack and the three of them have a funny, brotherly, bickering dynamic between them. Also, as a fun little add-on that is very much in line with his deeply Satellite, down to earth characterisation from the first half, Crow now works as a delivery driver to earn money for the household. That's all very nice and good.

But what is his role in the plot from here on out? Well.

First, a small note about the pre-WRGP arc. Though this arc is fun to watch because it gives us a lot of silly character interactions the show no longer found the time for once the WRGP started, the pre-WRGP arc really can't be said to bother with actual plot much. It's the known filler arc of 5Ds, and as such, Crow is not the only character who gets pretty much nothing plot-related to do during this arc. Thus, I'll only give a quick run-down of what he does get up to, just in case any of these tidbits end up showcasing a relevant aspect of Crow's character I might come back to later.

Furthermore, another thing that's pretty much obvious to everyone who's ever watched the show in its entirety but still bears mentioning: Crow gets a lot more screentime from this point on out. Technically. Why do I say "technically"? I'll get back to that further below. For now, just keep it in mind.

So, how does Bird Boy spend his time during the arc where the plot's on the back burner? To be honest, on the sidelines, mostly. Don't get me wrong, Crow's there. Most of the time. But he gets pretty much only two episodes where he's the focus, and both of those aren't exactly known for being 5Ds' most memorable episodes (even though I still like them both tbh, but I digress): For one, in episode 68, he gets to convince Bashford to move in with Martha so the depressed old man isn't spending his entire retirement living in a scrapyard.

(This episode's comedic moments are actually fairly solid. But those are just my two cents.)

And for two, in episode 85, Crow gets to bond with the boys' somewhat cranky landlady, Zora, by duelling some sense into her son, Lyndon. (Which also introduces us to a duelling tactic only Crow uses that we will later see again: Losing on purpose.)

(And here we can see Crow showing off his skills at dealing with petulant children.)

Now, do these two episodes where he gets to be relevant actually do anything for Crow? As a character? Debatable. If nothing else, they strongly reaffirm the values Crow represents which we were introduced to in the first half of the show, though. They reintroduce us to his stubbornness, to his (in comparison to Jack and Yusei) more playful nature, to his very Yusei-ish dedication to doing the right thing, to his penchant for spite, and to his strong sense of family and community and his belief that these two things shouldn't be abandoned unless you have a damned good reason for it.

You may notice that there's a sizeable gap between these two episodes. That's because those episodes are where we get the only smidgens of plot in this arc. Among them, highlights like Sherry's introduction, the first reveal of accel synchro, Aki's turbo duelling license exam, three separate story beats hinting at the machinations of the emperors of Iliaster (Luciano's little stunt with Rua and Ruka, Placido getting started on building a killer robot army, and the Jack double being unleashed onto NDC), and Bruno's introduction. So, here's the thing: Crow is technically present during most of those episodes, too, but he doesn't actually get to meaningfully interact with the plot-relevant elements. (Which is not to say he doesn't have nice moments here and there. He does get to bounce off the other characters, and, just as one example, helps Yusei and Jack upgrade Aki's duel runner, as well as help Yusei build Rua's duel board. Crucially, he doesn't get to do anything that later becomes plot-relevant, though.) Moreover, not one, but two characters who end up becoming major players in the series' finale are introduced here, which is relevant insofar as that Bruno and Sherry both end up needing a good amount of development before they can impactfully take their later roles. Now, I say this with nothing but genuine appreciation for both these characters, because I do like them, but I feel the need to point out what this means not just for Crow, but for pretty much everyone who isn't Jack or Yusei: Every minute of screentime that was dedicated to Bruno and/or Sherry was one minute less the writers could spend on the rest of the cast. This is not to say that time shouldn't have been spent on them, they needed it, especially because they were introduced so late, but it's something I do want people to keep in mind when talking about who got how much screentime and whether or not that time was well spent. (I also have a larger gripe with the definition of "screentime" in general, but more on that later.)

So when does Crow get to be relevant to the plot again, now that he's even a signer and all? Well, not until episode 94, when the WRGP arc has already started. (Note that I'm using the 5Ds episode list on wikipedia as a general guide for which arc and which season starts where. You can find it here.)

*Deep breath*

So. Episode 94.

(Pictured: One very scruffy dragon. Bird? Dragon-bird. Bird-dragon. You figure this shit out.)

That episode. The episode where Crow, who was awarded with the status of a signer during the finale of the DS arc, finally gets a dragon to match his mark. And the episode where we finally, finally, get some actual backstory for Crow that goes beyond his involvement with the Enforcers and childhood with Jack and Yusei. A backstory that's only Crow's own. Except. How do I put this politely...

This shit doesn't make a lick of sense. Neither the events in the duel between Crow and Bolger in the present resulting in Black-Winged Dragon's appearance, nor the Pearson backstory.

Now, I'm not saying this to step on anyone's toes. From a writing standpoint, I can even make a fairly reasonable guess as to why this episode/mini-arc is here, I think: As I mentioned in part one of this analysis, Crow was not only introduced very late, but also got very little backstory of his own, which set him apart from the other signers. Don't get me wrong, he did get some backstory—we know of his strong connection to Duel Monsters because he learned to read from cards, and we know of his involvement with the Enforcers/Team Satisfaction. Crucially, though, Crow doesn't really get a backstory segment that feels as unique to him as the others. Aki gets her tragic past with her parents and her powers, Jack gets his betrayal of Yusei, which also doubles as part of Yusei's backstory, who as the protagonist understandably gets the most backstory, and even the twins, though they are as always treated as one unit, get their very own segment about the time when Ruka was essentially in a coma. Meanwhile, Crow only has that one-off tear-jerker moment about learning to read from his cards and his being a part of the boys' duel gang, which, and I cannot stress this enough, is treated as more of a Yusei and Kalin/Kiryu backstory by canon than a Crow backstory. Thus, it makes perfect sense from a writing standpoint that the Pearson/Black-Winged Dragon mini-arc would be here. Crow, up until this point, has neither a backstory segment dedicated solely to him, nor a signer dragon to call his own. So, how do we solve this? Give him both in a strategic double-whammy! The math checks out. Unfortunately, the writing of said mini-arc... doesn't.

Now, look. The juicy question of whether Crow would have worked better as a non-signer or not, which I already discussed in part one aside, I personally don't hate what this backstory is trying to do. It's just that the whole Pearson-drama has some very notable, logical holes which I'll get into below. Furthermore, this is not the first time something related to Crow has some unfortunate, logical and/or chronological issues. I already brought up the infamous fridge and Rex Goodwin's rather confusing backstory in part one, both of which raise some serious questions. However, Pearson and everything surrounding him arguably blow that clean out of the water. Let's examine this more closely, shall we.

The long-overdue backstory we get for Crow begins with a mystery: Mikage and Trudge, for a reason that is never given to us, are investigating the death of Robert Pearson (whose death would have been several years ago at this point), whom Crow knew very well, and they're doing it because they found a hint that the person who killed Pearson used an illegal card, Crimson Mefist, to do it.

(Post redemption-arc Trudge actually doing his job instead of bullying random Satellite citizens. Who would have thunk.)

Thing is, here, we already encounter our first, minor problem: Pearson has never been mentioned up until this point, not even as an aside. And this issue is compounded by the fact that not only Crow seems to know him, but Trudge claims to as well, because "Satellite used to be his jurisdiction". So, a named character who's familiar to both one of our protagonists and a notable side character, and we've never seen hide nor hair of him. If we pull our heads out of the story for a second, the irl reason for how this came to be is probably pretty obvious: Pearson was never mentioned before because the writers had nowhere near as solid of a plan for Crow as they did for the other characters, which leads to him being introduced out of nowhere here because we need a backstory and a dragon for Crow and we need those now. Moving on.

The mention of Pearson having been not simply killed in a fire, like Crow previously assumed, but having been murdered through a special, illegal card immediately makes him suspicious. So, he goes to consult Bolger/Bolton, another never-before-seen character who gets introduced in service of this backstory, and who knew Pearson well. And while this guy certainly acts amiable towards Crow at first, implying that the two have a good rapport, at least, he quickly starts acting suspicious when Pearson's murder comes up. Moreover, we as the audience at this point already know Bolger's looking for Black-Winged Dragon so he can use the card essentially as collateral to save his company. And the name "Black-Winged Dragon" already leaves very little to the imagination as to whose deck this monster is supposed to fit into. But, in a small twist, we learn from Crow that this was apparently Pearson's card, and supposedly lost in the fire where said man died, to boot. Then Bolger challenges Crow to a duel, too, offering to tell the truth about Pearson's death if he loses, but demanding Black-Winged Dragon, which he believes Crow to be in possession of, if he wins. So far, so good. We've got a mystery here, and canon is not contradicting itself just yet. Until we get to the actual backstory, which shows us the time Crow spent with Pearson, that is. Before we get into that, I'd like to highlight one theme this mini-arc introduces that actually feels like it fits Crow: Legacy. Over the course of meeting Bolger again and being reminded of his time with Pearson, Crow starts thinking about whether he's taking over his former mentor's/father figure's legacy well enough.

(Crow having some Deep Thoughts TM, featuring one of Yusei's most relaxed, easygoing smiles in the entire show, probably.)

This theme, I would argue, is one of the major things this backstory introduces that really meshes well with the Crow we already had until this point. He's a community-focussed guy and absolutely a family person, if him taking care of Satellite orphans is anything to go by, so leaving behind a good legacy for the people after him (read: the kids he took care of) would absolutely be something he cares about. We see this element of legacy again in his cards during this episode, too, which canon implies he inherited from Pearson. (I'll get to THAT can of worms below.) And on paper, with the themes he's already got going, Crow being the only one to inherit his deck rather than build it all by himself would actually make sense!

However. This is where we have to get into the meat of the backstory. I'll start by listing the barebones information Crow's backstory with Pearson gives us, then going into why several aspects of it are either logistical or chronological nonsense.

So, as canon tells us, Crow met Pearson after Kiryu/Kalin was arrested, when the Enforcers/Team Satisfaction all went their separate ways. During this period, Crow had already set up shop near the original Daedalus Bridge and started out taking care of orphans, but it wasn't all smooth sailing. He was, by his own admission, "living aimlessly". Then, during a pinch, Pearson and Bolger show up, take care of some bad guys for Crow and the kids, and Crow sees a new role model in Pearson. Pearson, who rides the Blackbird, plays a Blackwing deck and owns Black-Winged Dragon. So, he joins up with Pearson, presumably learns how to work on duel runners from him, and also befriends Bolger. Then, one day, a fire breaks out at Pearson's workshop and the man in question dies, but leaves Crow his runner and his duel disk before he does so. End flashback. Because I want to tie this together nicely, we also learn later that Pearson technically left him Black-Winged Dragon, too, by sealing it in his runner. And, of course, that dragon later becomes Crow's very own signer dragon.

Several points to be dissected here. And funnily enough, Bolger's duel with Crow isn't relevant for any of them. Let's start with the big one: The timeline. I want you to remember that as far as canon is concerned, Crow is 17 during the DS arc. Moreover, it's canonically stated that Jack stole Yusei's first duel runner two years before the show's start, at which time Crow would have been 15. And their time together as the Enforcers must have been even before that, because Kiryu/Kalin was already in prison for a while at that point and Crow and Yusei don't reunite until the DS arc is basically in full swing. So, I'll make a vague estimate here and say that during the time of the Enforcers, Crow would have probably been 13-14. (Which is hilarious when you think about the fact that this gang of angry teenagers essentially took over the entire duelling underground of Satellite, but I digress.) Now we add the idea that Crow met Pearson after the Enforcers, but that he died before canon starts into the mix. That means Crow first ran into Pearson sometime around age 15, and that he then died presumably before Crow turned 17. So far, so good, that still slots into canon, even if it makes Crow pretty damn young for some things. He's even missing the personalised Blackbird duel disk he later wears during the Enforcer days, I went back to check. What he is not missing, however, are his Blackwings. And this is where canon may or may not have made an implication that, if intentional, breaks this timeline. See, during the scene where Pearson's workshop is burning down and he's already trapped under debris and has embraced death, he tosses Crow his duel disk and leaves him his runner.

(Two important screenshots, in sequence. One, Pearson with his duel disk still strapped to his arm. His deck is very obviously still in there. Two, Crow with that same duel disk, as made obvious by its distinct shape.)

What this implies is that Pearson also left Crow his deck. Which, yeah, fair enough, if I were dying in a fire I'd probably also think "fuck it, not like I'll need my cards in the afterlife". What this (and Crow's look the first time he sees Pearson's monsters) implies, though, is that Crow didn't start playing Blackwings until Pearson left him his deck. Which is factually untrue, because there is literal evidence in the show that Crow already had Blackwings during his time as part of the duel gang, before ever meeting Pearson. (The exact episode, if you want to check for yourself, is 33, where Crow summons both Bora the Spear and Blackwing Armor Master during a flashback.) However, I will concede that the show never actually states this is the case, it's just implied by what we see on screen, so perhaps the idea here was that Crow already played Blackwings before Pearson, but grew to love them even more through his mentor/father figure, and so later happily integrated the deck he inherited into his own. Crucially, canon never states this outright, either, though, so the option remains on the table. But, to give the benefit of the doubt here, the possibility that this could still slot in with canon and that it was just handled poorly is there. The same cannot be said for the Blackbird, however.

(Uh oh. So much for canon continuity.)

The above two screenshots directly contradict each other. First we have Yusei, upon reuniting with Crow in Satellite during the DS arc, casually remarking that Crow finished his duel runner. Which means that canon at this point suggests to the audience that one, Crow built this duel runner by himself, for himself, and two, that Yusei knew about it for a while already. Then there's the second screenshot, from the Pearson backstory episode, where Crow outright claims the Blackbird was left to him when Pearson died. I don't think I need to tell anyone that these two things can't be true at the same time. And again, I think this is where Crow fell victim to the writers not having a clear outline for him. At first, he was supposed to be this scrappy guy who also built a duel runner for himself, just like Yusei. But now, he's a signer, needs a backstory and a dragon, and because a theme of legacy is introduced alongside Pearson, the runner suddenly needs to be inherited, as well as (possibly) Crow's cards. Now, a crafty fanfic writer could probably reconcile the above contradiction somehow, and I know some stories that accomplished that. But the point isn't that we, as the audience/fandom could make this work, the point is that canon didn't make it work. What canon, sadly, also didn't get to work was Black-Winged Dragon.

(We meet again, bird-dragon.)

Here comes the next elephant in the room: Everyone and their mother who has watched 5Ds knows that Black-Winged Dragon was never implied to be a signer dragon up until the duel where Crow acquires it. In fact, an entirely different dragon is teased so heavily long before BWD ever shows up that it to this day is one of many people's major gripes with the show's writing.

(Why, hello, Life Stream Dragon! Fancy seeing you here.)

And yet, Black-Winged Dragon is turned into a signer dragon before Life Stream Dragon, who was teased more than sixty (!!!) episodes before BWD was ever even mentioned. Why? Simple: Because Crow became a signer and Rua/Leo didn't, because the signers all need dragons (or else the "5Ds" part kind of doesn't work), and because Life Stream Dragon thematically doesn't fit Crow.

Now, I've seen people post theories to reconcile this weird hitch in canon, hell, I've even posted an idea for how it could be reconciled myself. But, again, that isn't the point here. The point is that as far as good old, barebones canon is concerned, it isn't reconciled. Canon at first states there are five signers, suggesting that there are also five dragons. But then, the fifth dragon never shows up, and one of the signers dies, to boot. Only for canon to then teach us, oh, no, look, the signer marks can wander from one person to the next. And to add insult to injury (at least where the show's writing and internal consistency is concerned), the signer mark that was "freed up" by Roman/Rudger's death doesn't wander to Rua/Leo, who any attentive watcher would have expected to become a signer because it was heavily teased during the DS arc, but to Crow. Frankly, I'm not surprised many people were angry about this, but in case my disclaimer didn't make it clear, I don't think it's productive to pin this on Crow by claiming his cards became super popular irl. There was definitely an out-of-left-field writing choice made here, but the only answers as to "why" were left in the 5Ds' writer's room, I believe. At a guess, if you want me to throw out a non-sugarcoated theory as to why, though? They probably thought Crow would be a more interesting character for their target audience. He's a scrappy guy who sticks it to authority, he's brave, he's funny, he plays a cool deck, and most of all, unlike Rua, he never embarrasses himself in a duel on screen. Why am I highlighting that last part? Because I feel like people sometimes forget that the target audience for this show, at the time of its creation, were about twelve year-old boys. And you can feel free to contradict me on this, but most twelve year-old boys I've known and know don't want to project themselves onto a chracter who loses and gets his butt kicked a lot, and who's a bit awkward and steps in it sometimes, which is much closer to how actual twelve year-olds are—but that's exactly why they prefer the cooler characters. And Crow is the cooler character, by average twelve year-old boy logic, regardless of what the grownups of this fandom think.

So Crow gets a dragon and the writing doesn't bother explaining the how or why of it, let alone tackles any of the implications made by Black-Winged Dragon's existence as a signer dragon. (Like what does this mean for the larger worldbuilding? Does the Crimson Dragon actually have more than five servants, but chooses to only ever bestow five marks at a time? Can any "dragon" the Crimson Dragon chooses be a signer dragon, and it just so happens that the constellation of signer dragons is nearly the same as the original one in present-time 5Ds canon? Did the Crimson Dragon specifically elevate BWD to a signer dragon because it felt like it? Was BWD always supposed to be a signer dragon? Was Pearson supposed to be a signer, but died too early before the dark signer prophecy was set into motion? Am I overthinking this? (Yes.)) He also obtains his dragon in what feels like the weirdest way possible to me, because it suddenly??? Just decides to appear in his runner????? Out of nowhere??????

(Why is that here. How did it get there. Why did Pearson even put it in there. And HOW. Is it just wedged between the machinery or what???? And how on earth did Yusei, Bruno, and/or Crow never find it before this point considering how often someone tinkered on the Blackbird on screen???)

(This scenario, of course, also raises the question how the other signers even got their dragons. But like many other, interesting questions, this episode chooses not to interact with that one whatsoever.)

In short, this backstory is a bit of a mess, to say the least. For as much good as it tries to do by contextualising Crow's character and giving him something that sets him apart from the rest of the protag group, it feels like a rough draft of an episode was given the green light to be produced without any editing, judging by the contradictions and weird implications. As such, it harms Crow's character as much as it builds it, as evidenced by how much fandom backlash he still receives years later for the things that were bungled in this backstory and also in different aspects of his character writing.

Now, you may notice this post has gotten stupidly long due to just how convoluted the specific hangups of Crow's backstory are. I originally meant to cover the WRGP and even the Ark Cradle arc for Crow in this post, too, but due to how much there was to say about canon's attempt to finally make Crow a "proper" signer, I've decided that trying to force another two whole arcs in here would be a disservice to the analysis and the character, and also make this agonisingly long, so I'll close this part out here and write a part three, perhaps even a part four depending on how much material the WRGP gives me to work with.

There's one more thing I need to get back to before I finish up this part, though: The "screentime" discussion. I mentioned far above that I take issue with how some people seem to be using the word screentime, and now I can explain why. First, I want you to take a look back at the episodes I covered here, those being 65-95, essentially. Now, as anyone who usually dislikes Crow will tell you, Crow is present in most, if not all of these episodes. He's on screen. He's getting screentime, and, according to many people, hogging it, even. Okay. Now, I want you to look back up at the analysis. How many episodes did I cover where Crow actually gets something to do? As in, where he's either the focus of the plot or gets to contribute to it in a significant way? There's the old man Bashford episode. There's the Poppo Time clock episode. There's his two backstory episodes. That's four. Four episodes. If you're generous, you might add in the episode where he gets to narrate Yusei's backstory alongside Jack and the two fake Jack episodes where he gets to have an emotional moment or two with his foster-brother. If you're less generous, you'll note that none of these episodes have Crow actually interacting with the main antagonists in a meaningful way or set up anything important that pays off later. (Hell, he doesn't even get any, and I really mean, any meaningful setup interactions with Sherry, who ends up being his final-boss-level opponent during the final episodes! Aki gets more meaningful interactions with Sherry than him, not that this ever gets a payoff.) And this is why I take an issue with people claiming Crow gets so much "screentime" post DS arc. Because to me, "screentime" should be time spent letting a character act meaningfully within the story, which most of the pre-WRGP episodes aren't for Crow. He's on screen, yes, but in many episodes, it wouldn't matter one whit whether you replaced him with a nameless side character, which isn't exactly a great look for a supposed third of a protagonist trifecta. Perhaps I'm being too strict with my definition of "screentime" here, fair enough! But the claim that Crow hogs screentime already rubs the wrong way during this comparably unimportant arc, so I can't leave it alone. It feels very decidedly malicious to claim a character who during some episodes seems to only be there to provide exposition or make whatever jokes Yusei and Jack's personalities aren't suited to is stealing screentime from other characters. As for the WRGP duels and whether he's "hogging" anyone's screentime there, I'll dig into that nonsense in the next part, please be patient with me.

...Phew. Okay.

Now, before I leave you to wonder whether I'm every finishing my Crow analysis in full again, I want to attempt to do the same thing I did in part one—propose some changes that could have been made to the writing for Crow's character in order to make things slot in better with the rest of canon. With a small disclaimer, of course: These are just my suggestions as to how Crow's character could have fit into canon more smoothly and been done less of a disservice by his own backstory.

So. First, a quick-fire thing about the pre-WRGP, to get that out of the way: Crow, alongside Aki, is the only signer who didn't get his own confrontation with either Iliaster or their minions. (Yusei had Ghost, Jack had fake Jack, Rua and Ruka had Luciano.) Instead of having him confront a cranky old man in a scrapyard or Zora's son, they could have easily given him a very short side-story where he gets to experience the threat of Iliaster up close and personal, too. Hell, they could have very nicely cut the recap episode where Crow and Jack lie in the mess of Jack's terribly built coffee table and philosophise about Yusei's backstory for this, too. (As funny as their interaction about the coffee table and Jack lying on the floor with a perfectly intact coffee cup are.)

(Pictured: Two idiots (affectionate) contemplating life among the scraps of a shitty, broken coffee table.)

Then, there's the Pearson backstory, of course. So, here's the thing, I think two very different kinds of "fixes" could have worked here. Crucially, they both depend on Crow's status as a signer. I argued in part one that Crow might have worked better as a character if he hadn't actually become a signer, so I'll give both versions here. Let's go.

Option A: We try not to touch canon too much and Crow stays a signer.

How to do this? Frankly, I think what Crow's mark and Black-Winged Dragon were majorly missing was setup. The mark is the smaller offence here, since, fair enough, the idea that signer marks can wander from person to person isn't too out there for 5Ds canon. However, the lack of a dragon despite the alleged 5Ds stands out, and Life Stream Dragon's wasted setup only makes it worse. Thus, making Black-Winged Dragon make sense would have required giving him the same amount of foreshadowing as Life Stream Dragon, at the very least. And you know who could have been great for that? Sweet, ever-forgotten-by-canon Ruka. She was already shown having flashback dreams to the signer dragons' first battle against the dark signers, so who's to say she couldn't have gotten dreams about a shadowy, new dragon she's never seen before? Perhaps even dreams where she's not sure if the dragon is good or bad at first! It could have provided intrigue, it could have made the audience curious. To strengthen that, canon could have also bothered taking the question "hey why are there only four dragons now" seriously. No character in canon ever questions why there are five marks, but only four dragons. Even Rua, who was previously hopeful that he might secretly be a signer, never brings it up. If canon had bothered to actually point this mystery out, they could have used it not only to foreshadow Black-Winged Dragon, but to aid Life Stream Dragon's setup, too. What the fuck am I talking about, I hear you ask. Hear me out: Life Stream Dragon is shown way, way later down the line, long after the audience probably already accepted that it was simply never going to show up, literally bursting out of Power Tool Dragon's armour. We are not provided with an explanation as to why. Imagine if they had sprinkled in another dream Ruka could have had about the ancient past here. Imagine if they had used the opportunity to show something like, oh, during the battle, Life Stream Dragon got injured so badly they had to protect its wounded body with a suit of armour, in the hopes that it would heal. And with one original signer dragon out of commission, the Crimson Dragon sadly had to choose a replacement in between, because the Earthbound Immortals were sure to return. Bam. Black-Winged Dragon. Two signer dragons, set up simultaneously, without forcing the canon lore to do somersaults. Furthermore, to actually explain why Pearson had the dragon but wasn't a signer, they could have easily sprinkled in a flashback between him and Crow. Maybe Pearson could have mentioned how the dragon always feels like it's never really his, as a joking aside. It would have been enough for me to suspend my disbelief, you know? And then the rest of canon could have played out exactly as we know it. Crow could have confronted Bolger, could have obtained Black-Winged Dragon because maybe the dragon finally decided he was worth throwing its weight behind. The mystery behind the missing fifth dragon could have been solved, and it would have made for satisfying payoff without kneecapping Life Stream Dragon's setup or conjuring an extra dragon out of thin air. And really, stuff like the runner thing could have so easily been solved by simply picking one version (did he build it himself or inherit it?) and sticking with it. All it took was a little more care.

Option B: We assume Crow didn't actually become a signer, but try to keep his backstory intact.

Okay, this version works under the assumption that Crow, despite partaking in the final battle against Goodwin during the DS arc, didn't receive a signer mark. To make this work, I would, bluntly put, simply make it so that Black-Winged Dragon doesn't exist. Pearson can still play a powerful Blackwing monster during his flashback that Bolger wants to find and sell later, but it simply isn't that dragon. Really, Blackwings have enough to choose from there. If the backstory episodes had been placed a little later, say, during the pause in the middle of the WRGP, he could have even received something like Blackwing Full Armor Master here. (Yes, I know that card didn't exist at the time, but my point is that he could have simply received a powerup like Yusei and Jack did, instead of a completely new monster.) With this setup, they could have still added the intrigue of taking the question why there are only four signers now seriously. They could have still set up a mystery about why no one ever saw the fifth dragon outside of dreams. And it could have made Rua becoming a signer later, and in this version getting the tail mark instead of a completely new one, that much more satisfying. And Crow could have kept his "fuck destiny, I'm trying to save the world here"-attitude from the DS arc, providing a nice, amusing counterweight to our heroes chosen by an ancient Incan dragon deity. All it would have taken would have been not giving him a mark and switching out Black-Winged Dragon for something else.

So, take your pick, I guess. In the meantime, I'll try my best to work on part three faster than I did part two, lmao.

See you next time!

[gokartkid]

f1 fic rec list

self indulgent! my personal masterlist of hits, also theres 25 of them... 25 days of fic christmas, an advent calendar perhaps!

turn back and return by @rudesses

“No! We are climbing together,” Charles says, because Charles is very generous. He likes to phrase it that way—together. They haven’t climbed together in years.

charles/alex mountaineering au, SUCH good characterisation, the universe is so full and it has this like. longing-not-going-for-it that makes me crazy. THEE chalex fic to me. it holds tension so well and really makes you feel nervous in the high adrenaline moments, and you can tell the care that charles and alex have for each other, and their well established relationship immediately as the fic starts, which i think is so well communicated in so little time!

phantoms and pencil marks by cazio

Pierre woke to a boy sitting next to his bed. Amnesia AU

pierre/charles, amnesia au where pierres been in a accident and has severe amnesia, its written so well from his perspective you can feel his confusion the whole time and its amazing piarles but also a standout character study of pierre it has so many painful moments, i love how pierre he... is meeting charles again and again, but warped and you can see how painful it is for everyone. so so so good. it takes everything i love about amnesia fics and elevates it

Second Star to the Right by @gufettogrigio

It is stupid of Nico to even give Lewis the chance to notice. The hot water kettle is just a bit too heavy at breakfast one morning and Nico loses his grip. Lewis is next to him at the buffet table of the hotel and catches it out of reflex; Nico knows better than to think it’s kindness. He stares at where Nico’s fingers are still refusing to cooperate. "What happened to your hand?" "Nerves" - Nico answers with a shrug, glad for the double meaning in the English phrasing. It's up to Lewis how he wants to interpret it; Nico didn't lie.

nico rosberg/lewis hamilton but also jenson button/nico rosberg but separately, there are alternate endings.

SOO so so iconic, i have reread this multiple times. mind the tags, but it's an incredible nico character study, everyone in this is amazing but especially toto, this line: [Toto laughs, kindly. “You are my World Champion and I’ve only got two of those. I am invested in your continued survival. Always.”] it is everything to me. nicos mentality about himself, his feelings about racing, about the championship, about lewis. wow!

provenance by ecorone

At the end of the world, art curator Lewis Hamilton finds his way back to the artist called no5.

lewis/sebastian, genuinely like. an incredible work of art fic. it's an apocalypse - non driver - surreal fic. its setting is if the end of the world dinosaur times were happening now, and what to do with all your regrets, and follows lewis as the main character. it has so much depth to it, the writing style itself is incredible. the characterisations, the philosophies, the EVERYTHING. i left an insane comment on it just so i could spill my thoughts out better and i can't do it a second time hahaha but i would so so so highly recommend reading, to be honest even if sewis is not your thing just because. imo it is so much more than just a fic about drivers. also read their other stuff bc i do not like lewis/max as a pairing but i will vouch for ecorones interpretation as being. THEE lewis/max thesis.

echo of the future by @tetrapod7

Lewis, once on the path of the Jedi and now in the midst of the Galactic Empire, learns of the chance to save ancient Jedi texts. Max, a stormtrooper, becomes smuggler Daniel Ricciardo's copilot. They too pursue the Jedi texts -- with the hope of selling them to the Empire.  Their stories collide at the Jedi Temple on Genbara. As the danger of an Imperial Star Fleet looms large, Max, Daniel, Lewis, Seb, and Jamie have to figure out what matters most to them, what they owe to each other, and devise a plan for an unavoidable space battle with the Empire -- a battle for their future and hopes.

lewis/sebastian max&daniel i will like. forever and always be a star wars guy x i read this in one sitting it made me feel insane everything about it is perfect, all of the storylines running at once then colliding. lewis in this especially is EXCEPTIONAL, r0s-c0 made me laugh so hard when i read it. droids 4eva! the particular sw verse this is is built up perfectly there are SO many details here and so much world building it makes me want to eat it. the entire atmosphere is quintissentially star wars, a mission running on hope and a few credits. amazing <3

in that iron ground by @lilyrizzy

"Maxy,” Daniel says and it sounds like he’s choking. Max frowns, deeper. He crouches in front of Daniel, resting his hands on his bare thighs. Daniel is still only wearing the boxers and undershirt he went to sleep in. Nothing’s changed. “Daniel, what is wrong?” Max repeats.  Daniel swallows. I don’t want things to change, he thinks again. “My dad’s dead," he says. Or Daniel takes Max home to Perth for a funeral.

max/daniel incredible scholarship on daniel and max, who they are to each other especially in daniels lowest moment, i love how it... it is the lowest point of daniel that we are seeing which brings out so much depth to his character, and who he is especially behind his like, media/character mask. the characterisation of daniels family, how he struggles to process the grief, the complexities around grief and the consistent running undertone of why-mine-and-not-yours surrounding max and daniels fathers. his internalised homophobia/fear of coming out. amazing

sixteen cadences for children in bloom by distressedgremlin

Pierre flips his cap around and marks it on his calendar: 2021, the year of living selfishly

pierre/charles SUCH A GOOD PIERRE. such a good pierre. he deserves to be selfish and to live selfishly. i think seeing him become so confident is so great in this fic and especially the narrative foils between him, daniil and yuki i love, how he evolves in those relationships, becoming a team leader, becoming someone who HE likes. also obsessed with distressedgremlin's sewis fics. so so so obsessed. the le mans fic is everything to me

constellation falling into place by wraysford

For some reason, the last part is what sticks in Nico’s head, you were quick, in that awed, painfully genuine tone of Lewis’, but, he hastily reminds himself, how fast or slow he was back then doesn’t matter anymore or, wherein Nico goes to university and Lewis races

nico/lewis HEARTBREAKING au to me. nico quits racing and lewis doesn't and they meet again. im obsessed with it as a nico character study and a look inside his strange little brain in this universe... its perfect. the underlying jealous and what-could-have-been in every scene, the way lewis is so. GENUINE about wanting to reconnect with him, it kills me.

tomorrow on every shore by @missyourflight

This season on Below Deck Sailing Yacht... Six weeks. Nine charters. Lots of hot tub stuff. *  “Is it not your colour?” Max says. The production team gave the whole crew new uniforms for this season, swapped their usual navy polos for something that apparently pops more on camera. It’s sort of peachy, not Max’s favourite, but it looks good on Daniel. “Please,” Daniel scoffs. “Everything’s my colour.” He bumps his hip into Max. “You weren’t tempted to go with the skort option?” Max bumps back, pretending to consider. “I thought about it, but it’s just not practical on deck, you know?” “Guests are arriving,” Christian says, his smile tight, eyes fixed ahead. “Could we attempt to act like professionals, please?” And then the guests are on the dock, and everyone puts on smiles to greet them, and it’s almost like a normal charter except for all the fucking cameras everywhere.

max/daniel, below deck au, i read this right after binging below deck med so obvs it was perfect. i love everyones characterisation especially christians. + yuki as the chef is perfect. i love the interview sections paired with whats happening in the fic bc its like... i love an unreliable perspective! fantastic au and they are so 3D fleshed out

striving for goodness while the cruel men win by @misonikomi

Lewis had been at a disadvantage. Cruelty had never been bred into her; she had to learn it one piece at a time. When she first started karting, she had tried to blend in with the other kids, an impossible feat. There had been so much violence even then, in the way the kids looked at her, spoke to her, and touched her. She had to learn that violence as well, in order to win

lewis/sebastian, gender swap au, i think one of the first and only i read because i get a bit nervous about them, but incredible, incredible thesis material. the characterisations of lewis and charles and amazing, how they change and are the same as women. perfect narrative foils for each other. sebastian and lewis' relationship in this is fantastic, how lewis' past with nico has affected her into her relationship with seb but also with f1 in general. suzie is standout in this to me, the woman-woman relationships in general are perfect

december makes me quiet by @warriorbarnes

“Hallo?” he greets, and gets to his feet.  “There is a snow storm,” are the words he’s met with. He’s taken aback at first, the accented english not what he’d expected, and has to recalibrate his brain from german to english.  His brows knit together when he realizes who it is on the other end of the line. “Charles?” he asks. or, right before Christmas, Seb gets an unexpected guest.

sebastian/charles, one of my favourite sebchal fics!!! i think it handles that line between awkwardness and getting to know each other so well. any sebchal fic that has charles being normal around sebastian is immediately inaccurate, we know his complexes! i love to read it... so comforting, being snowed in is THE premise!

lucky thirteen by @azzy421

Being the daughter of the most successful racing driver in the world (retired) comes with a lot of privilege and a few very notable downsides.  1. Dad is famous, and it makes people act weird around him and ask Ayla weird things, like what he eats for breakfast or what deodorant he uses. 2. Sometimes he gets talked into going to Germany for the summer to talk about engines and aerodynamics with Uncle Toto’s team for months on end. And this is only really annoying because - 3. He never, ever wants to talk about racing with Ayla. Ayla, head over heels in love with the world of Formula 1, is determined that she’s going to prove she has what it takes to start karting, even if it means going behind her dad’s back to do it. When she discovers that not only is there a girls-only karting group next to their temporary home in Germany but that it’s being run by four-time World Champion Sebastian Vettel (Ayla’s second-favourite driver of all time) (also retired), she is determined to seize the opportunity with both hands.  And, well. Her dad is lonely. Sebastian seems even lonelier. Solving that problem would be a nice bonus.

lewis/sebastian, i also usually never go for kid fics but this one intrigued me and it is SOOO good. seeing lewis through the lens of his kid, her passion for karting and especially his very, very real fear for her entering that world... so so so realistic and good. it has the exact right amount of self indulgence but also reality, i love seeing the 'future of f1' with mick, lando and george, and how lewis to ayla is still first and foremost her dad. sebastian in this is incredible but also this cannot be prophetic because if he did become an f1 hermit it would make me so sad xx

how to get it, how to live it by grandsprix

Alex wants to say no, because - well, because his ex was a closet case, and Charles is the kind of beautiful Alex is going to feel insecure about, and he has half a tub of strawberry cheesecake Haagen Daaz and a rental of Dune waiting for him at home after his shift, and is that worth giving up to give some French twink a blowjob in the staff bathroom? or, Alex works in a gay bar in Soho, and Charles is lost.

alex/charles, obviously love every grandprix chalex fic, but this is my favourite! i am so charmed and in love with charles' characterisation here, his clumsy confidence and how he is immediately offended by alex not wanting to have sex-sex with him haha also alex's like... slow sense of impending doom at becoming closer to him. perfect

come on, starboy by @yekoc

Daniel’s just slinging his bag over his shoulder to head out to the parking lot when there’s a noise behind him, the hollow metallic echo of a locker door slamming. Turning, he sees that kid. Max. The running back who always fumbles.  He’s standing in front of the locker he just slammed, muscles tense. His too-big mouth is drawn into a flat line. He has his phone in his hand: he looks at it, puts it in his pocket, and grinds his fist against the bank of lockers in front of him.  “Hey,” Daniel says, because he feels creepy now, just looking.  The kid looks up at him, startled.  “Oh,” he says. “Hi.”

max/daniel, obviously like anyone reading this list will have read this or if you haven't you should?? max and daniel are perfect in this actually perfect. it has that... stuck in a small town that you are outgrowing but will you ever be able to stretch. standout to me: the spectre of max's dad. we hardly see him properly but you can tell the impact he is having on max, and by extent on daniel. this is also possibly my favourite lewis, second only to new wave (new emotion). the way he steals the show for me in every scene he is in, his college aspirations, fears for the future, wanting to gone beyond the simplistic perceptions of him... amazing. number 2 yekoc favourite is glory from a high rise but i am only reccing one per author strictly to not make this list insane

the heartbeat is a hunger by @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm

2019 FORMULA ONE SPORTING REGULATIONS Art. 34: BONDING Teams are required to register all bonds between drivers with the FIA at the beginning of each season. New bonds must be formally recognized through a bonding ceremony under supervision of at least one FIA representative [...]. Art. 34.1 [added on 1.01.1993] Bonds between drivers competing for different teams are prohibited. I'm so unused to being - well, understood perhaps. - Vladimir Nabokov's first letter to his future wife, Véra

lewis/sebastian, lewis/nico, SUCH a good bonding au... a really interesting look into how dystopian something like this could get, and i think a realistic look into how sports is constantly pushing us to the limit so if there were more ways to do so.... they absolutely would take advantage? lewis and nico's relationship is so interesting here, and seb as the trope inversion is SOOO. it is so well executed.

new wave (new emotion) by nothoughtsjustvibes

In which Max realizes he’s in love with Daniel and flies to Colorado to make it Lewis’s problem. Lewis just wants him to leave – preferably on a plane to Australia.

max/daniel lewis&max, my favourite lewis. ever!!!!!! max in this is STELLAR as well, their relationship is so so funny and so well balanced, i mostly love how... lewis deals with AD21 mentally in this? and how he's like urgh max is here? i will be nice. to hey. max is pretty cool :) in a very organic sense and also lewis being a mentor figure when i have 2022 lh superimposed over 2008-2016 menace lh in my mind is very funny. lewis micromanaging max's problems to fix them is my favourite thing, also every small interaction with charles in here is brilliant.

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by @janinaduszejko

Alex remembers attending his first Cabinet meeting - he’d been awed by the imposant room, the history this place held, where wars had been declared, disasters averted and ensured, with its stately inner ring of ministers, surrounded by the bustling outer ring filled with their advisors and assistants. The gratitude he had felt in that moment, being a part of the centre of it all, the place where power housed. Almost six hours later, he’d stumbled out of the stuffy room with George at his side, eyes wide with commiseration as he’d led Alex through the narrow halls.  “These ministers.” Alex had said, a hollow look in his eyes. “Are they all-?” “Afraid so.” George’s voice had been kind, but knowing, like he’d expected this and had grimly prepared himself.  “Halfwits.” Alex had moaned, as George had patted him on the back in sympathy. “Fools and idiots, every last one of them.”

george/alex, so so osos oso os good. i LOVE a political au i love intrigue i love stupidity i love jargon <3 and this baby has it all!!! i love any kind of misunderstanding/torment in a fic and in this one... alex u are so good at torment <3 george also coming up with the weirdest solution to their workplace romance is SO him. christian horner in this made me laugh a lot. this was i think the start of my galex downfall

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by @baking-soda

Max has never been so tired in his life. He can’t believe he’s going into call like this, that he couldn’t get to sleep last night. What an idiot. “Hey,” Daniel says, sauntering into a work room balancing a green smoothie and two large coffees from the caf. He puts one in front of Max. “You ready to save lives, Maxy?”

max/daniel obviously like. titular maxiel material, but i read it again and often! i am not a med student by any means but ive done placements in hospitals + medsci papers and reading this was like. it is exactly the feeling! when ur in it and you are a cog in a very big machine made for helping people and it is the most exhausting thing you have ever done but the most fulfilling... max in this fic is so so so amazing. the dissonance between how he sees himself and everyone else around him sees him. scenes that stick with me: when hes going to text his dad about the intubation but then he deletes everything because he thinks it wasn't impressive even though he had just been riding high. and every scene where he comforts the rookies but he like.. doesn't even realise himself he's doing it. to him he is being normal. love &lt;3

Invent us as we were (real tears, hard love) by diamondcrystalink

“Seb, aren't you freaked out?” Every human who doesn’t work with mimic engineering hates seeing mimics down to their components, it's said to ruin the illusion. Sebastian didn't even hesitate to help him. “Why would I be? It's just you,” Sebastian replied without much thought, his concentration on shaping the lattice to the gash. - Charles is an android who should have had his memory wiped at the start of the season per regulation, Ferrari decided otherwise. Sebastian doesn't know.

sebastian/charles, android-au-i-love-you! illegal ferrari goings on i love you!!! i am forever and always a sci fi lover and this hits all the spots for me, the idea of charles as the golden boy of ferrari because he was literally made crafted and perfected by them, the ethics/philosophies of being an android (charles hating remembering that he is), the way it starts and ends with a dream as well, bookended perfectly. so so good

the alps by @grandprix-ao3

Yuki catches his first glance of Pierre somewhere without him in pre-season testing. He’s blue and pink, he’s glowing, a flat-brimmed cap with Alpine’s A emblazoned on it sitting backwards on his head. Pierre and his sunglasses, the microphones in his face, the questions, the novelty, the half-arrogant grins. “He looks different in pink,” Liam remarks, halfway to a joke. Yuki hates it. It reminds him of all the distance between them, all the words he’s too scared—too late to say. There’s a gap between them, now. It's mountainous. It’s brutal.

yuki/pierre, this is one of my favourite all time yukierre fics so i couldn't not include it. every single thing about it is perfect, yuki struggling with his feelings, the way he and pierre are drawn to each other again and again. the struggle with what people seem to see so easily and making that real. ALL TIME!

cleaner better breed by @toastandvegemite

The lights inside the glass box turned on and Daniel saw the android for the first time. Something hooked in his chest. “Did they have to make it look so real?” he murmured to Michael, turning his head slightly. (RedBull builds a robot driver. They call it Max.)

max/daniel this had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, the idea already of technology displacing high risk/reward activities like sport is so fascinating combined with the fact that sports is such a political tool in terms of soft power, almost unmatched, so how to wield that soft power effectively with a robot? make him a bit human and likeable. all of daniels internal monologues feel so true to form throughout this fic, and the ending. AGH! catch! love this au

Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you by @misonikomi

Charles's eyes scan up and down his body, expression somewhat unimpressed. Seb takes inventory of himself. Nondescript jeans, gray Puma sneakers, plain gray t-shirt. Not much to look at, he admits. Or: Charles is Bella Hadid, if Bella Hadid used to kart and was also a bit disillusioned with modeling, and Seb is still Seb.

sebastian/charles, SUCH A GOOD AU!!! i love fashion and i love f1... this is like a perfect in between. a really really good charles character study again i love taking the drivers out of their... natural habitats! and this as well, it doesn't shy away from how charles in this universe has lead to quitting karting, homophobia, gender etc. and sebastian is so unabashedly seb and them learning how to be together and charles gradually showing more of himself... the modelling world in this as well is so rich. its so good!!!

home (is wherever I'm with you) by actparci

On the drive back to the hotel Max had turned to him, blue eyes fierce and piercing.  “Promise me you won’t stop being angry. You’re angry because you know what you can do. Use it, control it, let it fuel you. Other people won’t understand but that doesn’t matter, you know what you’re capable of.” You and me, he’d seemed to say, we’re the same. Charles wonders now how he ever thought Max wouldn’t understand. Or: Charles leaves Ferrari, tries to win a championship, and learns some things about belonging. All the while, Max is there

max/charles, i do not read much lestappen at all but this was amazing. charles moving to red bull and its done so well, because. i am a forza-ferrari-forza-charles guy forever but i am also addicted to alternate universes! all of the moments where there are differences between the teams, having the cheesy but so emotionally cathartic races and interactions and wins... its too good!

For the thrill of it all by @boxboxlewis

Charles unfolds from his headstand with cervine grace and stands up. “Geooooorge,” he says slowly. “George, George… George.” His eyebrows fly up, and he narrows his eyes at Alex. “Your friend who needs a place to stay for a few days, he is George? The George from your classes? That one? Posh George?”

george/alex, this is a series so technically cheating... essential george characterisations here! they are both so british (deeply derogatory) all of the dialogue is so perfect!!! i love their dynamic as flatmates, charles i love you but if i were flatting with him id kill him xx [If this were real, if they were dating, he wouldn’t fuck George, not tonight; he would draw it out, the anticipation, he would allow them the luxury of a long slow discovery. As it is he pulls back] my favourite line because alex is in every universe deluded. that boy loves you!

transmotion by heroics

Vettel's eyes fly to Lewis's, and he looks as shocked as Lewis feels. Then he grins. "You again." "Me again," Lewis says. He's lived in Frankfurt nearly four years now, and the German feels clumsy on his tongue in a way it hasn't since those first few months.

sebastian/lewis, literally what can i say. football, fashion designer au. the sebastian in this fic is so well fleshed out, and i love how its the.. uncertainty of being between stages in life, and how they struggle as adults with their relationship. lewis having moments of unintentional cruelty that they have to pull apart, and sebastian the same, the perils of homophobia in sport. charles and pierre in this i love, when pierre and lewis talk about his fashion show. pierre is a lh fanboy in every universe!

okay. that's it! they are literally in no order and also so muddled i am so sorry. if you are on this list i am such a big fan of you and just want to show my appreciation xx

[boyfridged]

the brilliance of jay's progression in countdown is that it gives you a promise of positive character development, and then it breaks it. and it does so intentionally, in the most diverting way, to emphasize jason's inability to escape the cycle.

or, another post breaking down the series, where i repeat myself a lot but also make a clearer argument.

there are three notable events that happen at the beginning: the subtle showcase of jay's internal conflict considering his approach toward killing (the very first encounter with duela and the monitor), jay reaching out to donna in crisis ("i guess I just wanted to be around someone else who might know how it feels…"), and finally – his helmet shattering. these scenes tell you: jason's direction as a character is changing, and it seems, for the better. he's about to abandon his trauma-based (no matter how ironic, it does remain tied to his trauma) identity, he is connecting with people, and he seems to be on a brink of understanding that his moral standing does not provide easy answers or solutions either.

and for the most part of the series, we see that narrative unfolding (even if a bit non-linear, still innocently convincing way). it is, in many ways, supported by bringing up features of his characterisation from the 80s. jason remains, of course, still unpleasant in ways typical for this era of writing, and is conflicted and disagreeable, which makes sense for his utrh/post-utrh personality. however, there are also details that bring us back to his original robin run and his cameos on ntt – we see him being responsible (e.g. #43 – suggesting to bring in other superheroes in crisis, even though he clearly is not keen on the idea of working with them), determined (#16: “isn’t that your super-power, stupid boy? too stupid to ever give up?” “maybe it is”), sensitive (half of the whole storyline, really), caring for gotham (gotham by gaslight) and people-oriented (as early as #51).

the issue that particularly signals that jason is an inherently good person and externalizes his internal conflicts regarding classic heroic vigilantism vs his cynical approach is #30, where we meet batman of earth-15 –  alt jason, whom our jason attempts to punch in the face.

and on topic of batman – jason is always gravitating towards batman. in gotham by gaslight jay looks delighted to see (the foreign) bruce and suggests checking with the local bat. then, earth-51 arc arrives.

earth-51 arc (#16 - #13) is a culmination of a promise of catharsis for jason. we have already seen him as batman, as a confirmation that a different life for him is possible. and here he has a chance to come to terms with his past and overcome it. he meets a version of bruce who has done exactly what he wanted him to do in utrh: killed the joker and the rest of the rogue gallery. what is most important – he is disappointed with this version of his father. we realise that jason, deep down, has an intimate and intuitive understanding of what batman stands for; and that he shares most of his values. this is a truth that you can't ignore especially since jay is the one to inspire this hollow, cynical version of batman to go out and fight in a seemingly lost battle.

and then batman dies. right in front of him.

this is a central moment of the narrative, for many reasons, most strikingly:

the symmetry:, a premise known from the lost days, becomes literal. this "the father had lost a son, and now the son had lost the father" is a cruel parallel to a death in the family and bruce's grief. jason's death created a gap between them that jay has been desperately trying to close, with no avail – because in bruce's mind, jason remains dead. now that jason is grieving bruce, the connection closes on both sides, and there's no way for either of them to reconcile the mourning with the reality of the other being truly alive. in this sense, the arc solidifies that jason can never come home.

no good deed goes unpunished. as i have mentioned before, so far jason is established as someone good at heart, but confused; and the reader intuitively assumes that his better, honest side will win. yet, the moment jason gives in to hope, it victimises and retraumatizes him. this event, again, brings to mind his own death, when he tried his best to save sheila and ended up paying the highest price for it. so, narrative-wise, jason is always punished for his kindness.

perhaps because of the nonchalant act that jason pulls off, many readers seem to miss that everything that happens after that arc is an upshot that follows logically from it.

jason's immediate determination to leave – and later a short period of indecision that ends up with his dramatic exit, pushing his team away, makes perfect sense when you consider what intense trauma he has just gone through. admittedly, i'm not a fan of the notion that he would give up at all (i think he's always ready to give up on himself, but not on the world), but then on the other hand, if there's anything that would cause it, narrative-wise, witnessing batman dying does sound like a good incentive for that. (it also has to be pointed out that jason seems to be confident that the rest of the team can go into the final battle without him anyway; it's not like he would go back to his earth not even knowing if said earth will exist tomorrow).

it's crucial to notice that following that crisis of faith (faith in fighting for the world) is followed by him raising up for the challenge again, but now... worse and even more confused. in the final confrontation with donna, jason antagonizes the superhero community, and when we see him at the end of the series (#1) his monologue indicates that he believes the capes to be naive. (significantly, he also focuses on bruce and offends the memory of 51 earth-bruce by calling him crazy; an action that can be seen as suppression of his own guilt and invoking, once again, a cruel symmetry considering bruce's engagement in victim-blaming after jason's death). this, once again, is consistent with the "no good deed" reading – jason diminishes superhero values because he has been continuously punished for living by them. (and unlike other superheroes, he doesn't have a support system nor skills in compartmentalization that would help him deal with this trauma) every leap of hope re-traumatised him. hence, it seems to be no surprise that jason decides to abandon the mask, and in the closing scene we see him without it. the promise of the shattered helmet is pushed to an extreme – jason does not get a new alt identity. he denounces the idea of superheroism completely.

and yet, what is ultimately subversive about the ending, is that jay is not truly a civilian and he does not abandon vigilante ways. he does the same thing. we see him without a mask, but he is clearly working a case. he might have rejected the symbolic dimension of the vigilante work, but he still carries the same delusional hope for bettering the world and protecting people that the superhero community does. only now, he is even more isolated and doesn't have any identity to go by (as he is still legally dead).

as such, the ending opens a new question regarding jason's understanding of himself and vigilantism, or rather the lack thereof. is it possible that vigilantism is really at the core of jay's trauma? and why, potentially, is it something that is so destructive for him as a character specifically? (and i have some answers for that, but i'm not going to get into it here, as it's already a very long post)

so, tldr; the genius of countdown is that it establishes jay as sensitive, determined, and fundamentally good (this is what the purpose of seeing him as batman is!), and then it brutally reminds the reader that jason’s tragedy is that on this specific earth, in this specific timeline, his love doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. the story goes on as it did; one way or another, jay is trapped in the cycle of his care ironically creating rifts between him and the others, and bringing him to his own downfall.

[leomonae]

I've been thinking about how differing perspectives for characters can lead to some very unexpected, yet in retrospect entirely reasonable, outcomes. Particularly in regard to the Araj and Astarion conversation.

So when Araj wants him to bite her, you can either shut her down immediately when Astarion refuses, or say you're surprised he's not more interested in the idea, right? Which... yeah, my Tav said that one because Astarion is usually all about acquiring more power and this seemed like a weird thing for him to object to. They were curious, really, nothing more. But then Astarion starts getting upset, characterises it as you trading him for some potion, and then you get a choice again.

Tell him to do it, tell him he shouldn't do it since he doesn't want to, or tell him (paraphrasing from memory) "well, the potion seems like it could be useful, but it's up to you".

And if you pick that last one, he is going to break up with you that night.

(okay yes for accuracy's sake I'll mention that there is precisely *one* way I found to navigate the following conversation so he doesn't break up with you, but it's not at all obvious, it's not a result of the profuse apologising and grovelling lines you can choose, and IIRC it required picking a line my Tav would never say because it wasn't all that sensitive or respectful in itself)

And the thing is, from Astarion's point of view, breaking up with you then is entirely reasonable! He feels used, like what he wants doesn't matter and you pushed him for your own benefit, because you basically just tripped right over a massive trigger of his! To him, you have at the very least been... careless, with him. More likely, you knew exactly what you were doing and never truly cared about what he wanted at all, because why would he ever think otherwise when nobody else ever cared? "You're the only one", he can tell you later on in Act 3. Except here, in this possible timeline where you very mildly encouraged him to go ahead, you just... weren't.

Astarion has just realised he wants something better for himself, that he can't keep on like this, and you've quite simply never given him any reason to think you might be that kind of better. Why would he have any motivation to go giving you any more chances at this point? You're just like everyone else when it comes to what you want and value from him, after all; you just proved it to him, whatever pretty words might now be coming out of your mouth to try and manipulate him into giving you what you want again. And again, and again, and again.

But that's not necessarily the case, of course.

See, I actually picked that "sounds useful but up to you" option, my first time through the conversation. And the reason for that? It was because from my Tav's perspective, that was the most respectful way to handle the situation. Especially as a follower of Ilmater; to my Tav's mind, it was about giving Astarion all the relevant info to weigh up the decision he thought was best, where he could choose to sacrifice a little for everyone's benefit. But if instead he had a reason like oh, say, massive backstory trauma which meant agreeing would be harmful to him, he could and should freely decline. And either way, Tav fully intended to respect and support his decision. To continue treating Astarion like the competent adult he clearly is (Insight check: critical failure).

But Tav wasn't yet aware of that whole "I didn't know how to say no!" aspect which he would later go on to yell as he was ending their relationship. Tav had no way of understanding him well enough yet to successfully navigate the hidden minefield that's Astarion's past and how it has affected him. And things just... never lined up right for Astarion to trust Tav enough to explain any of this, until he already felt like he'd been used and ignored and betrayed. So that was simply the end of things for them, Tav's good intentions be damned (until I reloaded, of course!).

And I kind of love how real it all felt. It can be a scary thing, trying to have a relationship with someone where it's so easy to misstep and their trust has been broken so many times before that they have very little benefit of the doubt left to offer you, after all. It really... drove home for me just how much of a gift it is, when Astarion chooses to give Tav a real chance. When he's able to bring himself to trust Tav enough to try and have a real relationship together; to be honest with them about how he can't continue to provide the one thing he believes he has to offer anyone, at this point in time. That's just... he is so, so damn brave for opening himself up like that to what must seem like all but inevitable rejection and scorn.

And I adore every little bit of how messy and complicated and believable he and the relationship with him both are. They're nothing at all like you expect, getting into things at the start; it's lovely to get to take the journey alongside your character, constantly finding yourself re-evaluating everything you're being presented with by and about him, and slowly coming to realise that something truly special lies beneath.

[amethystina]

Hi hi, I was drooling all over the tags of Who holds the devil again and I remembered to ask if the kidnapping will refer to Ga On? Or if it's a big spoiler then maybe you could please tell if we'll see protective Yo Han because you write his feelings so well I just can't get enough or over it, you're so talented.

I wouldn't call it a big spoiler, exactly, since I think most people can (correctly) guess that it refers to Ga On xD I mean, what kind of BL fanfic would this be if it was someone else? Gotta check all those dramatic romance boxes!

That said, I will repeat what I've said before, which is that it won't happen anytime soon and, if I were you, there are other tags I would be more worried about. But that's just me ;)

As for Yo Han being protective, that will feature quite heavily as a part of another plot thread long before the kidnapping tag comes into play. And I do mean protective as in full-on Abyss — with all the violence and ruthlessness that entails. To be honest, one of the scenes I look forward to writing the most right now is the culmination of that whole plotline. Partly because writing Yo Han when he's like that is so much fun, but also because Ga On will do what Ga On does best.

That's to say: Place himself in front of Yo Han and be the immovable object to slow down the unstoppable force.

And it will be delicious.

Because with all that Ga On has learned about Yo Han at that point, he's going to realise that the best way to calm Yo Han's desire for vengeance — and remind him of his humanity — isn't to get preachy or aggressive and demand he stop. It's to go soft and vulnerable and needy and a little desperate and just say:

"Please come back to me."

... I think we ALL know Yo Han won't stand a fucking chance.

So you've got that to look forward to, I guess ;)

And thank you so much! I have a lot of fun with Yo Han's emotions, not going to lie. He's got a pretty unique way of both showing and dealing with them and it's particularly interesting to try and convey that from an outside POV (Ga On's in this case). Because even if Ga On is correct in his observation the majority of the time, there are still times when he misses certain details. He often gives Yo Han the benefit of the doubt when he maybe shouldn't, for example x'D

Like, there are times in this story when Yo Han may seem kind, caring, and vulnerable but, in reality, something COMPLETELY different is happening inside his head.

Chapter 39 was actually a good example of that, specifically when Yo Han was pressing his thumb against the scar on his palm. Ga On automatically assumed that had to mean Yo Han was in pain, but that's not it at all. Not even close. Pressing the scar (which was first established in The Gentle Light, which I wrote over a year ago now) has become Yo Han's way of curbing his less-than-moral impulses when it comes to how he approaches his and Ga On's relationship.

Yo Han wasn't pressing the scar because it hurt (though he does have flashes of psychosomatic pain, too) but because he needed to remind himself not to do what he ACTUALLY wanted. Which certainly wasn't to resign himself to being rejected and go: "Then I won't."

In that moment, Yo Han wanted to claim and possess — not surrender.

And it was a struggle for him to choose the path he knew Ga On wanted him to.

In short, both Yo Han's protectiveness and possessiveness are sometimes hidden in the small things he does, which might not always be apparent to Ga On or the reader. Remember that Ga On is an unreliable narrator and while he is astoundingly good at reading Yo Han sometimes, not even he sees all.

And that, on the whole, Yo Han is a lot more vicious and immoral than Ga On wants to admit. It may not be as apparent now that Yo Han is without a revenge quest and more focused on doting on his family, but it's by no means gone. Just dormant.

The Abyss will never fully stop abyssing.

(Yes, I am definitely making this fic and the characterisation unnecessarily complex with breadcrumbs sprinkled across stuff I've written literal years ago — thank you for asking)

[wisteriagoesvroom]

after seeing your college au post a prompt struck me. mine is a bit different though:

charles' major is something artsy and he doesn't care for scientific things at all, and max's geography like your au and he is a total nerd. thanks to lando who wants people to mingle their friend groups organize a meet up. charles and max don't interact that much. but when charles comes back from a phone call with his mother, which he miscalculated the time and caught her at a bad time, says 'why even there is a time difference?' max can't help himself side eyes him and whispers to lando 'is he an idiot or what?' which charles hears and frowns when max turns to him all judgy and says, 'this is one of the main outcomes of the earth rotating.'

and after this rude response charles hates max. everytime they have to be in the same place they bicker like crazy.

(I have to mention my bestfriend here who inspired me and is a math teacher but absolutely doesn't get geography. when she went that overseas vacation she couldn't understand the time at all and made me tear up with her stupid understanding of it 😂)

ANON THIS MADE ME GIGGLE SO MUCH. Different is good, different is delicious, even. more cake. more stories. more AUs!!

Charles doesn't understand time zones 😭 maybe he knows Max is a giant nerd and is being deliberately obtuse 😭 maybe he does it just to annoy max because max is kind of weirdly hot and charles doesn't know what to do in the face of those big blue eyes and all of his subsequent, very inconvenient feelings 🍆😜

now. this is ur wonderful prompt. me being the angsty + miscommunication trope enthusiast that i am, my (very personal! very subjective!) characterisation of charles is always going to be that he is actually very bright, or at least some level of competent and focused on the details of what he is doing. but we all space out a little sometimes, and so does he.

so u have given me a beautiful cake and may i suggest adding a later of emoshunal filling in the middle of this, which is that

charles has had a really long day with classes and extracurriculars and on top of that idk, his washing machine broke cus he overloaded it or something. and that’s why he just totally misjudged the actual time diff

he is horribly homesick and just called his mom to hear her voice, screw the timing. so when he blurts out to max that he called her and didn't realise the time, he really didn't

he was so stunned by max's weird mix of dorky and pedantic and hot that he just fumbled all his words

literally all of the above cus they're OUR stoopid kissy kissy ken dolls and if it's necessary for da plot then why NOT

so it's not a meet cute. it's a meet-misunderstanding. a meet-discord. a meet-disaster, if you will. and of course lando's just standing there with his phone in his hands sitting pretty watching this play out because in my head he's always here for the chaos.

now, beloved anon. how will lestappen resolve their issues? will they

accidentally run into each other at the natural history museum for different story-necessary field trip reasons, and max actually takes the time to tell charles all his favourite maps? and charles actually listens?

will charles end up cracking max's tough exterior open while they're working on an assignment late one night. and charles realises max knows all the time differences because it's important to max (literally) that he makes up the lost time with his mama who he didn't grow up with?

mayhaps they don't talk about it at all but argue about something totally arbitrary one afternoon (like... charles insists on a historical fact about monaco that max says is wrong but is actually right). and it culminates in awkwardly cramped but still hot hatesex in one of their dorms. and after that max says nothing at all about their first argument, but helps charles download an app that works out the best windows to call home?

and in the end, no matter what happens, we gotta surely squeeze this in somewhere:

"you're such an idiot sometimes."

"i know. but i'm your idiot. all the time." 😤😤

anyway tl;dr i really enjoyed this idea, and thank u for sharing it with me. it is very precious and very good. may the plot bunnies and muse-ly entities always be with you and bless you with gentle metaphorical kisses to the forehead, mwah mwah mwah

[chryso-chryso]

Disclaimer #1: i am by all means not fluent in Chinese. please forgive any mistakes!

Disclaimer #2: i am not used to writing song reviews. 本宝宝’s still learning! this is largely a collection of thoughts i have had while listening to the album on the train in the mornings.

posting this to my art blog (now renamed 'creative pursuits blog' because that's what it has become) instead of my main @chryso-of-nowhere. thank you @anambermusicbox for the encouragement!

i thought about finishing a write-up on everything and sharing it all in one post, but it's been taking forever and i have the most to say about The Giver at the moment, so i guess i’ll post them as i get to them. 

反深代词 (Shenself) Album Thoughts— 警报 (The Giver):

although it’s true that 记忆商店 (The Memory Store) is my favourite song when it comes down to the meaning of the lyrics, i believe that 警报 (The Giver) is the most impressive from a construction standpoint. jeeeeeeesus christ.

The Giver is absolutely listless with desperation. every bit of it. like, the choice of 提醒 in 提醒你自救 is astounding. 提醒 isn't ‘plead’ or ‘beg’, and although it can be ‘warn’, it’s mainly used as ‘remind’. what. the. hell. juxtaposing something as heavy as 自救 (save yourself) with remind? excuse me????? it's so good; it really enforces how powerless the singer (the AI) is. remind! count! witness! 

at the start, listeners are hit with the technique that i feel characterises the whole song. namely, we’re hit with a first verse composed almost exclusively of epanadiplosis. 

via wikipedia: epanadiplosis is a figure of speech in which the same word is used at the end of a clause as at the beginning of a preceding clause.

using epanadiplosis, it feels like The Giver goes in circles. 感受、 感受； 请求、 请求； 成就、 成就. and even past that: 计算, and 计算 again.* it's a structural representation of not making any progress! not making a change! isn't that cool??? i’m just as (if not more) invested in the construction of this song as i am in the meaning of the lyrics, if nothing else than because of how well it mirrors the message. 

*okay this one's more like diacope, sue me

in that vein, my favourite line in The Giver has to be 我不断 再计算 因为你 不计算 [还能撑多久]; my lackluster translation of this is ‘i count / because you don’t count [/ how much longer you can last]’. it doesn't rhyme, unfortunately, but the diacope is important to me because it conveys that heaving, ineffectual desperation that is my main emotional takeaway from this song. the repetition emphasises but is subtle about it, it tries to be reprimanding but can't hold onto it, it's anxious, it's hopeless. i’m on the floor

i also love 我学会痛 为你而痛 (‘i learn to hurt to hurt for you’). 痛 and 计算 serve the same structural purpose here, isn't that something. what if i died

and, in 我学会痛 为你而痛, there's also a sense of finality. (shakes fist) it's that damn epistrophe! 

via wikipedia: epistrophe is the repetition of the same word or words at the end of successive phrases, clauses or sentences.

Yin Yue maxed out on epistrophe’s efficacy where she chose to use it. take a look at this bit of the chorus:

从借用 到利用 到享用 到滥用 

by 到享用, you can sort of tell how the line’s going to end, right? at least, you know the last character will be ‘用’. look at that! a structural representation of how the singer can predict the outcome of the subject of the song’s trajectory! literally what the shit 

a bit of an aside: i’m still a bit new to chinese music in general, and this song truly hammered into me that chinese is a way better language for isocolons than english. you can count your syllables in english and make it work, but it’s so much neater in chinese. WAY more effective. but saying this makes me sound like i am a fan of the rhetorica ad herennium, which i am not. and i won't elaborate on this because isocolons are such an integral part of chinese songwriting that it feels like saying you have discovered that grass is green.

the way Yin Yue uses language outside of a medium for conveying the textual message is very inspiring. between the epanadiplosis, epistrophe and isocolons, this song is a nightmare to translate.

The Giver starts off very carefully, gingerly, and gets increasingly more pained and panicked. Zhou Shen is too powerful!!!! you can really hear that desperation in the live versions, and the high note he adds at the last line is so good ajfbwjnncncq

this song strikes me as the most personal of the album that we've seen so far. like, the fact that they chose the take that he cried after recording haunts me to this day. normally i don't cry that easily!! but that 人物 interview, man. that 人物 interview. of the 反深代词 songs that have been performed live, this one is my favourite. The Giver is incredibly well-written, incredible well-performed, and incredibly powerful.