#i can't say that they will ALL be answered due to so many asks rn

[tonycries]

tony can we send you random not dirty thoughts as well? just random thoughts?

RIZZING YOU UP TO SEND EM MY WAY NONNIE 😈😈

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

Imagine you're cozy at home, doing exactly what you're usually doing when you scroll tumblr at home. Someone knocks on your door. A couple of teenagers from your neighborhood are there, holding a 1yo baby who is fussing.

They tell you their dad is really sick, he has cancer and is having surgery on Monday. Their big brother, the baby's dad, lost his job after the auto shop where he worked was destroyed suddenly. He hasn't been able to find other work.

They don't want much, just a few dollars, they don't want to bother you, but they have to ask a lot of people because they have no other way to get money.

All the charities have said they can't help, too many people need help rn and there's not enough to go around. The baby keeps having problems with malnutrition, and they're worried about the costs of their dad's surgery.

Does your answer change if those kids aren't white? If the reason they're homeless now is because they are of an ethnicity being targeted for extermination? Does kids being far away make you feel like they're not your responsibility?

James Baldwin wrote that the children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe. Do you believe that? I do. Every child deserves whatever help and support they need. Every single one. As adults, we owe them protection and care.

That's why I'm asking you to think honestly about what you actually can do to help these kids.

This isn't a hypothetical family. Ahmed, the kids' dad, really is scheduled for surgery on Monday. Nader, aged 17, is real and on Tumblr begging for his life and the lives of his family and a lot of people are shutting the metaphorical door in his face. It's largely due to his hardworking determination and perseverance that his family has gotten so close to their goal.

This is their family btw. Just normal people who probably never expected to be in this situation. Look how cute baby Iman is!! Aren't those kids worthy of your help? Aren't their parents, who have been struggling to protect those children, worthy of community care?

Please help them. You can probably spare $5. Maybe you even have more. Maybe you have family members or friends who could help more if you asked and showed them who they'd be helping.

Those kids are, actually, in real life, right now, asking for your help. What will you do?

Verified here (#4)

[drabbletron]

Long Update!

|| tl;dr: I hem and haw about my busy life and lack of posting content! ||

So, as I've been saying, life is getting super busy with me right now with work and lack of time at home for anything but decompressing. I will not be able to post like I was! I'm pretty sad about it, but I don't want to over do myself and end up struggling to write (I'm sort of doing it now). These things happen and I fall into cycles like this. It's just what I do.

To remedy the issue of burnout and overexertion I would like to be posting much slower, but with hopefully higher quality content. That means that, should I answer asks in my inbox, they may be smaller/shorter drabbles (which hopefully means I can post them on tumblr instead of Ao3), while saving the big stuff for the weekends. It's funny because "drabbles" are supposed to be only 100 words long. I use that term loosely to mean "short" fics. Think one-shots or mini-shots. It's where the username comes from (drabble + megatron).

Anyway, the point I'm making is that I can either do a bunch of little things and be social or I can focus on big things and be absent. I don't feel I am capable of both. I just have too much going on right now. At the same time, I love interacting with everyone here and I love the engagement. It's how I've been able to make friends! (lookin at a few of yall rn!)

I also have a lot of scraps of writing in my drafts that I'm getting a little sick of looking at, if I'm being honest here. I'm probs just going to empty all of those out and get it over with. Who knows, you guys might like them (as if I haven't been saying that for a week or two now lol)!

I'm unsure why I can't just part with my drafts though lol! I feel like a little hoarder sometimes because I keep deluding myself into thinking "this is going to be some super awesome mega-fic one day" and it's literally just two lines of dialogue of characters dirty talking lolololol!

Really there's so many things I would like to work on, like a dating sim! I have so much of it planned out, but learning ren'py is a slow process due to lack of time and dedication. I have an entire Trello board and a few plot points and even a character list with little outlines and some dates. I want to share it, but I know that once I do share all of it, it can kill my drive to work on it lol. It's a whole "move in silence" thing and whatnot, sorta how I feel about Golden Boy and The Pot and The Kettle.

It's super late as I write this, so I'm kinda tired, but I wanted to get this out there for anyone who wants to read this. It's sorta like a little diary entry for me lol!

If you stuck around this long to read it, thanks a bunches! I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you like what I do. If not, that's okay too! I love this blog and this fandom dearly, I just am very busy right now.

Enjoy!

- D. Tron! 🧡✨

[zachfoxx121]

Okay so I really really really like Russell Adler

Here are some of my favourite headcannons for him. (Featuring other cold war characters)

Alright so first up is his past!! Bro was born in 1937, between WW1 and WW2. He knows both German and Russian, so I like to think either his mom or dad (hell, maybe both) are immigrants from around those areas of Europe. To push that, his file doesn't say where he was born, just the date he was born. And a language is arguably easier learned if its in a household than in a book. Pronunciation and all that. Maybe his parents/one of them were Jewish too, and thats why they immigrated to the USA? It's also debatable if he was even born in the USA, since as I before mentioned, his birthplace isn't filed.

This headcannon is kinda borrowed, I cant remember who I original saw say it, but due to Adler's scar he has trouble/can't smile. It happened after 1968, but before 1981. When you ask him how he got his scar, he doesn't give a truthful answer, like Parks had said. "Oh I had trouble with a girl," "missed and fell," or "a tiger got me." My biggest guess, just from how it looks like a shrapnel wound, is its probably embarrassing. I like to think it was from a mine, maybe even a helicopter accident. But due to its position, it mightve damaged some facial muscles, and makes it hard to upturn a side/both sides of his lips. With scars, depending on how deep, nerve endings get fucked up and make it hard to move certain muscles, yknow?

This ones a bit silly, and has to do with Bell (I always play Bell as male, so sorry if I say "he" instead of "they" as their pronoun.) because I'm such a sucker for their relationship. Since Bell just kinda gets dumped on him, and their about the same build/height, I like to imagine he just dumps all his old/unwanted clothes into Bell's closet. In his file people he works with have described him as fashionable, and I don't know how good he gets paid, so he might go through clothes pretty fast to keep up with the times.

(Also for fem Bell, I imagine it's the same as this but with Park's old/unwanted clothes.)

Building on that, hes probably fashionable so wherever he is he doesn't seem out of place. With his scar it may be a bit difficult to blend in, but if he wears stylish enough clothes thats probably what grabs people attention more. "That guy had such a nice jacket," "did you see his shoes?" Even the difference between his '81 look and his new '91 do good to show his ability to keep up with fashion.

This headcannon is a bit more for Bell, but depending on which occupation you give them (CIA, MI6, ex-KGB) I like to imagine thats the accent they have post brainwash. With CIA, he has Adler's accent, and MI6 he copies Park's. With ex-KGB just a russian accent, which would probably be more realistic since it can be difficult to literally change an accent, but bro was experimented on so much it could have!!

I mention Adler in that because I like thinking of Bell saying a word and everyone being like "why'd they say it like Adler", because even in the USA theres so many accents!! Like even Mason and Woods have slightly different accents, especially if you think about the og voices in bo1.

This headcannon is a bit sad (and a big spoiler for the end of the "Good Ending"). After Adler shoots Bell, I think he stayed to make sure Bell was really dead. To make sure they bled out. In that though, I think he let Bell have one of his cigs, even smoked with him while he died. "Least I can do for you, kid." He didn't let Bell die alone. I really think it was hard for him to kill Bell, but he just had to shut the feeling down because it was (most likely) an order. Even though its probably more likely he shot Bell in the head, better than Arash did.

Anywho thats all I feel like typing out rn have fun with these some of them are constantly playing in my head!!!! :)))

[gotyouanyway]

ok essay on hasper and barrit now because i'm rotating them in my mind

plot. barrit recruited hasper into the cia from the academy before he graduated (work/study style but secret, think divided loyalties vansell). barrit made up some bs about aptitude but it was really because of hasper's strong psychic abilities. don't worry about all that rn but their personal and professional relationship is built on a lie and that's important

initially barrit was hasper's mentor, boss, handler, etc. very much a hands on controlling force in his* life and not that nice either. barrit kind of owned him and didn't actually like him that much. he sent hasper on dangerous missions alone, a lot, one of which got him killed. barrit said, and hasper believed, that this was just how cia work was meant to be, and it was for his own good, etc.

but hasper has been in the cia so long now and working with barrit specifically, their relationship has kind of mellowed out. at its foundation it hasn't changed - barrit still thinks of hasper as his student and property, and hasper still can't escape that control/sense of inferiority. but despite it all they have been through a lot together and are just around each other so much that it became lax and familiar. hasper grew up and barrit watched, and as questionable as barrit is in many ways, he is at least sort of bound by propriety and always gives respect and credit where it's due. he knocks back and forth between genuinely trying to do right by hasper (this kid he practically raised from a teen into a young adult) and giving in to the self-interest that makes him treat hasper like trash.

hasper, likewise, is torn between fear and resentment for the way barrit treated him when he was younger (and still does, but like, more quietly), vs. the familiar, sometimes genuinely kind and reassuring presence of his mentor and the work dynamic that's been the only thing hasper's known as an adult

anyway, all of that ends up looking like either this:

BARRIT: I never said I was going to pay the ransom. Hasper, do you recall me saying I would pay the ransom? HASPER: [Smug] No, sir. BARRIT: No. Now if you’re quite finished, I’d appreciate it if you left CIA affairs to the CIA. VICTON: You’re not going to pay? Then what are you going to do? HASPER: Why don’t you ask whoever told you about all of this in the first place? VICTON: Oh, shut up. BARRIT: [Angry at that] [He chews Victon out, actual dialogue not important here]

both of them joking together, comfortably playing into the role of mentor/student (or teacher and teacher's pet lol), and barrit genuinely getting angry when victon is rude to hasper. a protectiveness from barrit that doesn't map well onto how HE treats has, and an affection from hasper that conflicts badly with the fear and resentment he feels for barrit when things invariably get bad again

it also looks like this:

HASPER: Ransom can wait. I’m not leaving until Marcus is back. BARRIT: None of us will make it out of here alive if our TARDIS isn’t working, Agent Marcus included. I gave you an order, Agent, now GO. HASPER: Not without her. BARRIT: [Trying to be diplomatic] I will hold the door open for her, alright? HASPER: [Cold] Will you. BARRIT: You are not responsible for Marcus’ safety, Hasper, I am! HASPER: Just like you’re responsible for mine? Like you have been since I was practically a Time Tot in the Academy? BARRIT: What are you s- HASPER: Like you were responsible for my safety on Gryben? [Beat. That surprised them both. We're doing this now? Suddenly white-hot, Hasper presses on—] HASPER: [Spitting] Three shots to the back of the head, wasn’t it? And where were you? Eh? [Another heavy pause. Barrit coolly concedes—] BARRIT: Meet us in the TARDIS bay with Agent Marcus as soon as she returns. [Barrit leaves] HASPER: [Shouting after him] I still want an answer, Barrit! I haven’t forgotten!

hasper snapping in a moment of tension, finally calling barrit out for treating him the way he does. and barrit, suddenly faced with the guilt, realizing he actually kind of cares, sees hasper as an equal in this moment and backs down because his own sense of propriety demands he admits when an equal is right about something. not that they're going to be healthy and talk about it or anything, they're going to pretend this never happened and continue going back and forth between friends and enemies for the foreseeable, but things quietly shift for them in the background, constantly

*barrit recruited hasper i, who was a girl, but i'm just using he/him pronouns to make it easy. she was executed and regenerated during a solo mission on gryben, now we have hasper ii

[merakiui]

Oh so real!! Aaa I would love to learn more about RSA. It's been, like, what? 4 and a half years now? They've gotta give us something eventually!! (coping) I do think in general we should get more fun traveling events. I know we're getting those obviously with the hometown events, but I'd love to learn some more about the world that isn't the few countries surrounding Sage's Island? Like we still have no idea where Sam's hometown (Port O' Bliss) is! Though considering what Sam's twisted from maybe they could be saving it for something like halloween??? They probably won't tbh but it WOULD be really cool.

I want to update and say I unfortunately did Not pull b7 eel cards (Jade got me to about 87 before the banners ended, no chance to pull on Floyd 💔 so greedy) so I'm handing in my Jade lovers card and twirling his poor twin around. Floyd wouldn't do me and my savings like Jade did. Trust. This does remind me actually to reread some of your Floyd fics ,, it HAS been awhile I fear

It is a really cool feature!! And AAAA I LOVE BARB !! We share,, many fictional men. Right down to my poor poor childhood crush on Kyoya. Reiji though has plagued my brain for YEARS I would love to see what all you think of him if you ever do read a full translation!! There's been fan-made english patches made actually for the first two Dialovers games on the vita if you have a pc and patience with the silly silly world of emulators. It's how I did his Haunted Dark Bridal route :-) and goodness what a trip that game is!! Ohh Reiji and Laito the interesting little critters you are,,,,

Vampires though in general,, auughfhh,, I think about vampire fish a good bit honestly. I can't remember rn if I've stumbled across any works like that but maybe I should check ao3 after this,,, for science. of course. Also don't worry about answering these quickly or anything. You could respond to this in a month and I'd still have the same joy reading your response as I would if you'd responded immediately. So always take your time.

(Also I wasn't sure how to throw this into my ask, but have you ever shared your twst friend codes here? If not, would you be open to doing so? If you aren't it's totally chill!! But I'd been wondering for awhile :]! )

- :3 anon

Begging twst for an RSA event!! OTL I want to see the inside of RSA and see more characters from there,, more Neige and Che'nya!!! Omg and it would be so fun to learn more about places beyond Sage's Island and the other areas nearby. I would love more Sam crumbs, especially hometown crumbs!! Thinking about a Princess and the Frog inspired Halloween event,,,, AAAAA THAT WOULD BE SO AMAZING!!! OTL OTL hoping with all of my heart for something.....

No eels... (◞‸◟；) I am sorry you couldn't bring either of them home. Those rotten eels!!! ( ｡ •`ᴖ´• ｡) how can they be so troublesome and slippery!!! Friendship ended with Jade. Floyb is the new bestie and he would never treat you or your savings in such a disrespectful manner! Certainly not in the way Jade did. I hope he will comfort you more than Jade ever could. <3

We are on the same wavelength, :3 anon!!! Immaculate taste as always for us hehehe!! We are passing the fictional men around and letting them spin in our brains like conveyor belt sushi! I definitely want to learn more about Reiji because he was one of the brothers I sort of,,,, ignored due to my lack of interest. ^^;;; but now I am very intrigued. What do you MEAN he creates drugs and potions and other nefarious things!!!! I fear I am not immune to a cordial smile and the drugs slipped into my tea (winking and nudging Reiji). How terrible it would be if attractive vampire with glasses did that to me...... uuwaaaa,,, I want to be able to play those fan-made patches!!!! One day I shall have a PC that allows me to unlock full gamer potential like Idia. >:D haunted dark bridal route sounds so fascinating... 👀

AND LAITO!!!! Dare I say,,,,, what if Cater x Laito crossover!!!! Cater in Laito's outfit,,,, VAMPIRE CATER?!?!?!?!?!?! OTL my brain chemistry was irreversibly altered when I first watched that church altar scene in the anime. LAITO, THE VAMPIRE THAT YOU ARE!!!!! Truly the most interesting of critters.

Vampire fish my beloveds. AAAA I just love vampires. <3 gothic vampire Azul is amazing, but I also love modern-day vampire Floyd....... and of course vampire Jade who loves playing with the cute vampire hunter who is after him. Many thoughts for those three. May you find plentiful vampire works in your very scientific ao3 search!!!

UUWAAA you're too kind and patient,,, 🥺 thank you so very much... I would feel so terrible if I responded as late as a month later!!! orz but it's a relief to know you would still be happy to read my thoughts. Please also take your time in replying!! There is never any rush.

:o I haven't shared it before!! Here it is below! Feel free to add me as a friend! My profile is very Rollo as of this moment. I hope my level 105 tako card can be of use in battle. 🐙 ✨

[oh-no-its-bird]

5 and 28 for the ask game!

From [THIS] ask game

5. What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

I learned a bit about Japanese winter coats with my last chapter of Here Before and After Me! Specifically I learned the names for a hanten and a happi coat. It's a small thing, but I still think it's neat

28. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

oh man this is a good question actually, I have no idea how to answer it bc I've come up with a LOT of angsty ideas. Are we talking fanfiction only or including oc things?

If it's fanfiction things I will hesitantly elect uhhhhhhhhhh. Kid Kakashi losing his teeth for the first time and not knowing what's happening because he's only 6 and his father never explained this to him, so he thinks he's dying. Honestly I've probably thought of and written worse but that's just what comes to mind rn

If it's oc things, I'll say it has to be the very convoluted plot between me @gravesidepickup and @thatglassofwater that involves Albatross, the son of the sea god falling into an enchanted sleep.

An up and coming wannabe god, The Smiling Man, comes along and takes advantage of his sleep to puppet his body around with some sort of mind control spell that he can't defend against due to, yk, being asleep. Gaining himself one of the worlds scariest and strongest attack dogs <3 (and also instantly making himself an enemy of literally every single other major god, who all had some sort of relationship to Albatross)

During Albatross' tenure as The Smiling Man's attack dog, he's made to regularly fight (and kill) the children he once helped grow up as an older brother figure-- both of the kids now grown and working as semi-immortal god killers, who no longer remember Albatross and are hunting him down in their quest to kill the Smiling Man.

Ultimately though, Albatross, still completely unaware of everything happening around him, is made to kill his own best friend, Altair, the son of the star goddess. Who was on his own quest to find his missing boyfriend, Kichi (who, unknown to him, was stuck traveling in-between worlds constantly 5 feet behind him through all of his travels)

Pax, the daughter of the chaos god and also the best friends to Albatross and Altair and final member of their little demigod trio, also arrives just in time to try and beg Albatross to wake up and stop as he moves in to kill Altair.

With Altair having also been the anchor for what was keeping Kichi locked in place between worlds, as he died his boyfriend was finally released from his endless walk-- the two of them finally meeting eyes, Altair finally having found his boyfriend, only to die on his own friends blade

The end !!

I drew a comic for it and cried uncontrollably while drawing it and everything. SO many tissues were used that night. I can't listen to a specific song without getting worked up about them again

Honestly just all of that mess was fucking angst gold. If I'm here anyways then yk what, take some art from that general plotline

+ Childhood

RIP Albatross, bro is gonna have THE worst fucking time when he finally wakes up and is told of all the crimes he's apparently been committing in his sleep.

[apocalyptic-partners]

[This is a transcript of the first of many recordings. A purple haired girl with dark skin was holding a camera. The recording was blurry and zoomed in.]

Does this thing even work… And are we even sure it’s safe to begin with?

[A boy with fair skin and black hair grabbed the camera, and tapped it a few times before it went back to normal vision. You can now see that he wears a coat and trousers, with a cowboy hat that puts a shadow over his face and bandana that covers his neck. The girl wears a short-sleeved turtleneck and an overall skirt that falls just above the knees, with a witch hat that also partially hid her face.]

Electronics don’t contain any magic, silly. Plus, it just turned on. OH- Well in that case, I’m Beatrix and this is Just. Howdy folks!! We are two survivors of the apocalypse. [pause] If… If anyone finds this, they’ll probably know what we’re talking about. But just for a rundown, all magic has become corrupted due to uh, currently unknown reasons. Anything magic-related speed up the control of the user’s -and victim of the said magic- mind and body. We suppressed our magic so we wouldn’t succumb to the corruption as quick when dealing with em, Anddd, we have a semi-secure base to keep away the Cursed! Yup! We’re making these recordings as a log. But logs aren’t supposed to be this long, so I think we should wrap it up. Ah- right. Try to contact us with our radio if you can! See ya around, partner.

[There was a click, and the recording ended.]

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

//ooc

This is an ask blog run by @yourinaudiblename (me) and @stardustandsixshooters (wifey). Most asks answered by me will have art, but I can’t say the same for clover. We’ll just have to see how it goes, I guess ;)

I'll try to art

Also, as of now just will not be having art, I can't draw rn

Every ooc thing I write on this intro post will be italicized, unless it’s info

When the camera or radio is lost or broken, asks will not be answered. However you are allowed to send them to speed up the process.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Beatrix

Pronouns: She/it

Sexuality: Bisexual

Magic: Poison magic, binding chains, supression magic

Age: 16

Personality: ESTJ, stoic

Just

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Bisexual asexual

Magic: paralysis magic, energy rope creation and manipulation, suppression magic, speed amplification

Age: 15

Personality: ENFP, silly, autistic

Reference for outfit (with sucky drawing)

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

-No NSFW

-No discrimination

-No M!A that is unreasonable or unrealistic, we say what goes

More may be added in the future.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

[coolingrosa]

Rip on losing the file for the video 🙏 And I also can't wait for the upcoming errormare video hehehehehe. But my question is: What's your advice for getting a following on this platform? Finding a co-writer as well, the plots and overall story are fleshed out by now, but I think it'd be a good idea to find someone as a co-writer, what's the best way to go about that? You don't gotta answer both I know ur a busy bee rn :3

Hello!

The thing about gaining this specific platform is that I already had an online presence prior, which is where a lot of my followers came in. A lot of individuals will send asks stating they were looking for me after finding me on tiktok or YouTube. I will say, out of all the platforms online, tumblr is fairly easy to build a platform on as long as you stay consistent with posting. I typically don’t post a lot of art on here anymore due to the fact that I’m busy building my YouTube right now and don’t have time for finished projects- but even writing snippets can go pretty far on here. There’s plenty of Undertale writers on tumblr that post Drabbles and people engage! My best advice is to stay consistent and try building an overall online presence before finding a social media platform you prefer above all. Tiktok used to be my favorite, and I focused greatly on that and now it’s…dead HA.

My Tiktok is dead and my YouTube is thriving, because I prefer the atmosphere of YouTube a lot better than tiktok. As a CC myself, the drama that goes on over there in inner circles was nauseating, and all the people who hurt me badly CAME FROM THERE so I personally don’t touch it anymore. If you grow on tiktok, try to stay safe and hold onto your preexisting friendships. I love so many people from the tiktok Undertale mutual circle but it also feels like highschool all over again.

With the co-writer question, that one is a bit tricky. Barnacle is my sister figure who I had known for four years prior to working together. My whole family knows her and treats her as my older sister and she’s lived with me for a week or so as well. There was preexisting history there that made writing together easy, as she was my writing mentor ever since I was 14 and she was 18. Now that I’m 18 myself, she assists me with things since we have that bond. I suggest testing the waters with friends first, but if you want something more professional, you could always make a casting call on Casting Call Club to see who you being in! Building my team was informal when it came to the higher ups. Only the VAS were hunted out and casted.

[natsaffection]

So I've got a 12 y/o brother who has ADHD and some other stuff, that I don't even know in Polish whatsoever English, and rn I'm visiting my dad and his family for a few days and J(my baby bro) is here as well. Mostly due to his neuro diversity and the way he was raised he... Doesn't really know what he can talk about and what to Put off for later. Another thing that you need to know is that my dad is quite homophobic so it's safe to say I did not come out to him. Yesterday I was helping J with something in his room and he started asking me questions about the LGBTQ+ flag(how many colours and stuff like that lol). And I swear I heard my dad breathing a bit heavier. I spent so much time with my other siblings making sure J wouldn't end up homophobic so I panicked because what was I meant to do?¿ Be like "J we can't talk about it" or start answering and risk my dad having a heart attack lol?? But yeah I ended up answering as honestly as i could and then asap offered some food (it always helps to change topic😇). But I just feel so bad about this whole situation. Like I on every day basic am fighting to be heard and safe in my own country and then I have to go back home and make my brother quiet when he is asking Basic questions.

Also another thing I will dump on you is that the election for president in Poland is getting closer and even tho in Poland the president doesn't mean as much as in for example in the US he still can make some changes and I've just learned that some of the basic LGBT rights mostly likely won't survive this election sooo yeyyy another thing to be happy about.

I can imagine, especially with a younger brother that age, wanting them to grow up kind and open, not poisoned by the same things we’re still fighting against. And then being put in this impossible spot where you either silence him or risk your own safety… it’s so unfair that those are even the options.

And yeah, with the elections and everything feeling like it’s closing in, I just want you to know it’s okay to feel tired and angry, or overwhelmed. You’re not dramatic or overreacting, this is a lot. But you’re not alone in it. I see how much you care, and how much love and effort you pour into your brother. That’s powerful. And no politician, no ignorant parent, no election outcome can erase that.

Please don’t forget to care for yourself in all this. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling. And you deserve a world that listens and makes space for you exactly as you are!!!

[starvingtongue]

❤ Have they ever been in love? // paine !? Have they ever questioned their sexuality? // wakka 💒 What kind of wedding would they want to have? // leblanc 💍 Would they ever get married? // dona

from here / @seraphdescent

❤ Have they ever been in love? // paine

sideyes my otp with her and Nooj. I don't speak about it much on this (or any of my past Paine) of my blogs, but I've always run with the idea that her and Nooj had a thing going on during their time in the Crimson Squad. I'll leave the why I think this here because I think the OP has done a better job at explaining it w/evidence than I could rn.

Paine definitely developed feelings for him, but I'm undecided as to whether it was full blown love, a crush, or the situation they were in type of thing. I reckon Nooj might've have felt some type of way back, but whatever relationship they did have ended for obvious reasons. I think Paine would be hesitant to call it anything close to love, because she was 16 at the time, and I'm not even sure she knows if it was love or not. But that's the only time she's ever have those sorts of feelings for someone.

!? Have they ever questioned their sexuality? // wakka

short answer, no. long answer, regardless of his beliefs or anything else going on in his life, Wakka's always been rather steadfast in knowing that he's attrached to women. he has a lot of admiration for people, some of them men, some of them women, but for the former, it's never crossed the line into love or sexual attraction. there could be an angle where he could've repressed any sexual desires for men or non-binary people due to his religious beliefs (as you sometimes see in the real world), but I personally headcanon as someone who knows his sexuality well enough.

💒 What kind of wedding would they want to have? // leblanc

big. lavish. pink. okay, maybe not so much pink, but she'd have a field day with all the planning. as opposed to someone like Dona or Paine, who'd want a smaller wedding, Leblanc would want to go all out. she'd invite as many people as possible, even if she's only met you once, she'd want really nice food, really nice drinks, a really nice venue (watch her hire out the blitzball stadium or somewhere ridiculous). she'd want as many people there, watching her, as possible.

contrary to popular belief, her wedding dress would be sophisticated and stylish, maybe even something she's designed herself, and it would be white. I'm half tempted by the idea that she might go traditional with the wedding dress (since FFX is very south east asian inspired & she's kinda sorta wearing a kimono-esque dress bodywrap thing anyway), and wear a wedding kimono for it, but she'd be torn by that and the modern wedding dress. I also don't think she'd pass up the chance to wear a modern day wedding dress and not look absolutely stunning in it.

she's 100% the sort to have a wedding binder with her flowers picked up, her wedding venue set up, what make-up she's going to wear, the setting mats, the vases, that sort of thing. she'd want a little dramaticness and over the top for her wedding at the very least. Logos and Ormi would be her bridesmen too.

💍 Would they ever get married? // dona

heck yes, she would. I've even got a longer headcanon about it here if anyone wants to read. she doesn't shout about it from the rooftops, and it takes place a year or two after the events of X. the falling out she has with Barthello in X-2 really solidified her feelings towards him and the fact that she can't picture life without him. do I wanna say that she invited Yuna to the wedding and maybe even asked her to be her maid of honour? maybe. she doesn't have a lot of close people in her life, let alone close female friends, so Yuna's definitely there. so is Isaaru, Pacce, and Maroda!

[radical-sainthood]

I would dm, but I've been a well known anti for a bit and that'd be a little awkward. However, programming is a morbid curiosity of mine (and thought I highly doubt it, I'm also trying to figure out if my own system is lightly programmed or if it's just me imagining things due to looking into it.)

So, I guess I have a few questions about that! I understand you can't tell me either way but you could probably give input.

So, like I said, it's an interest of mine, but I also wonder. I don't have many signs, of course, but yk. Although I do experience the following.

Experiencing dizziness if I read to far into this sort of thing (which has never stopped me, I'm stubborn as hell.)

Having an ability to tell if some of my mutuals programming is messing up and helping them through the issues (deprogramming in that case but you know.)

Wanting to program others and the "blank slates," that form in headspace sometimes and then despawn.

The fact that there's blank alters at all

Despite being mixed origin, we only get Brain made alters if they have a specific job. (Nothing harmful so far)

Wanting a "handler," of sorts, not to hurt us or anything sexual but to take care of me specifically. Like a pet of sorts idk

There's more I'm struggling to think of rn because I am once again dizzy. You don't have to answer and I'm not asking for a diagnosis, I'm just curious! I do also have general questions that I can ask instead and probably will later anyway. Thanks for being willing to talk btw! I can't find many willing to speak about such a subject. Have a lovely day/night!!

-🦌👁

This all sounds like a form of programming. Especially the dizziness and desire to be a handler.

While I can't give you any for sure points on it. I would like to say: programming can be done by as little as one person. Much of our programming (aside from the initial torture it built off of from childhood) was done by a single person.

They might use a tactic called TBMC, which stands for Trauma Based Mind Control. Essentially what you do, is you repeatedly traumatize someone and train them to give you the correct responses you want out of it. For us, it primarily looked like sexual or verbal abuse until we did or said what they wanted us to. We have hundreds of alters that exist as one dimensional fragments meant to only serve the purpose that for lack of a better term was beaten into us.

Ritualistic abuse is similar, in RAMCOA (the acronym) the main difference between RA and OA is that ritualistic abuse just means that it occurs in a regular manner in relation to other patterns or behaviors. OA is organized abuse, that is where we see cults and other such things come in. The organized layers of abuse, having a handler, having someone above your handler, etc.

A lot of our organized abuse came during childhood, where we were, in many ways, the "Special" one in our abuse. And it's why now we have alters that specialize in being handlers and inflicting abuse, because we were taught that doing that was a good thing and made the person in charge like us more.

All of this to say, that there is a HIGH likelihood you've been programmed in one way or another, it may not be to a severity of others, but that doesn't change that it still likely happened.

[awetistic-things]

hi! i'm prof dxd autism, and i know you support self dx. i have some struggles understanding it, bc i guess,,, black and white thinking and i just,,, its very hard to make that connection, bc like, i want to support it but like theres also like, bad experiences with people claiming autism to weaponise something or all the news about fakers which might not even be true but like. im at the point where this is my view:

i support self suspecting a diagnosis, but not self diagnosis bc i think there needs to be some degree of seperation. like you can research one condition but have another, so self suspecting and accommodating is a good thing, but self diagnosis isn't because you don't have like, the full picture, and you need someone else to analyze it, so self suspect, not diagnosis. (sorry if not clear im kinda out of words rn)

but i also recognise that that view isn't really correct anymore, but im having trouble changing it so i guess what im asking is do you have any account to follow/things to read to support self diagnosis so i can change my views. totally cool if you dont want to tho. anyway bye! have a nice day. sorry.

hi 👋🏼

i can't find any specific blogs, but i do have a few things to say:

getting out of the black-and-white thinking is difficult, and i appreciate that you're trying to do so

self-diagnosing in general can be life-saving (when done right, which most of the time it pretty much is, regardless of what you see online) whether it comes to autism or breast cancer. so often, people get passed up and can't get what they desperately need due to discrimination within the medical community (and every community) so they have to take matters into their own hands

a lot of the time even when people go to get evaluated for autism, the doctor is the one who says they "suspect" the patient has autism and then don't give a diagnosis at all (happened to me three times before I got officially diagnosed) there are so many autistic people who go to get evaluated and get straight-up turned down right to their face, which usually leads them to self-diagnosing because there’s nobody willing to actually ‘analyze’ them in the first place (/nm, this reads as passive aggressive i think, but that’s not my intention, i promise /gen)

even if you are officially diagnosed there’s no telling that you’ll get any ‘analysis’ information after an evaluation (most of the time it’s just a paragraph or two) which is why self-diagnosing can be so incredible, because that’s when you get to analyze your own behaviors and traits and work through your internalized ableism so that if you do end up getting a diagnosis you’re not blindsided and have (hopefully) already accepted the fact that you are autistic

essentially what i’m trying to say is that so, so, so many psychiatrists and psychologists have internalized (or fully conscious) prejudice which heavily affects their analyzations and makes self-diagnosing so often times necessary

honestly, i think self-diagnosing is the first step in acknowledging and accepting that you’re autistic

i think many autistics who were officially diagnosed and were surprised by the fact that they’re autistic should look at it from a self-diagnosed autistics point-of-view

and by that i mean actually taking the time to forget whatever your doctor said about how you operate and instead analyze your life, because it’s yours, and nobody knows it better than you (especially from a 30 minute evaluation in a converted supply closet)

sorry if any of this came off as aggressive, it’s all genuine and i do very much appreciate you asking me this question and i hope my numerous different answers helped somewhat :)

[minevn]

(I'm sorry for the mistakes) Are you okay? Sorry to intrude, but I hope your mental/physical state is ok and you are taking good care of yourself! (^-^*)/

Hi! It's okay, thank you for asking! I typically like to do asks in order, but I thought this would be a good ask to kind of get things out there and talk about what's been going on with me and Mine!

As for if I'm okay, I don't really know. I can't say I'm okay but I know that it could be a lot worse(because I've felt way lower then this before) I'm not really sure how to take care of myself other then repressing things but I am seeing a therapist and we've been talking about how to handle my emotions as they come. I do wish that I was able to see a therapist before my repressive coping habits took over but due to circumstances I'll get into later I just wasn't able to.

As for Mine stuff, I am still very slowly but surely working on my asks. I do have a few done but once again I like to answer my asks in order. Last night I thought it would also be smarter to do my asks backwards from how I've received them so that way I could just que them all up instead of writing the first ask I got and then lacking motivation and ideas for the later asks. I guess rn I'm going through a bit of writers block? I think it's that mixed with my extreme lack of motivation. As for my event, I have thought about lowering the number and then raising the numbers again for a later milestone! I tend to always put a lot on my plate and 50 requests may have been a bit more then what I could handle as of now. Another thing as well is that even though I love drawing, I don't draw super often. I get hit with random waves of motivation and it's very easy for me to lose that motivation. So I have the sketches mostly done for the drawing requests I've gotten, but if I have no motivation to draw then the drawings turn out looking wonky and just all wrong and then I'm no longer proud of them. I still plan on doing the events and I'm so sorry that my lack of motivation happened like as soon as I hit 100 followers, It doesn't feel fair to you all but I seriously cannot thank you enough for your continued support. Everyone has been so nice and no one has come into my dms rushing me with anything, seriously thank you all so much for that! Another thing as well is that Mine is not my only story, if you follow my main account I have most of my stories listed there and there's like over 50 stories. it's like that because I have so many ideas but once again I lose motivation so easily, and as mentioned earlier I like to put a lot on my plate, I don't like to just work on one story at a time and it causes me to get burnout which I'm sadly going through with Mine. I was answering asks nonstop when I got them, getting asks motivated me to get up out of bed, I was so happy and overjoyed to get asks, and don't get me wrong I still am! I love getting asks and seeing what ideas you want me to write for, although I was also overwhelmed at first, I had gotten so much support which I hadn't expected to ever. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to like my stuff but I was ready to still work on Mine because I work for ME. But I wasn't happy with how the sprites were turning out, I wasn't getting inspiration for any music soundtracks, and I'm struggling on the script, I've got Minato's week planned mostly but it just feels so BORING! He's the first route, it needs to drag you in a bit more. So far there's been like no yandere tendencies which sure maybe that fits for Minato, but I'm just not proud of it at all so I need to rewrite Minato's week planning. The more I wrote asks the more I felt disconnected to these characters, it felt like I wasn't writing them like I was before, which I tried telling myself that it was fine because when I first made this blog Mine hadn't even been in the process for a year and I thought we could go through developing these characters together, but it just didn't feel right. I also started to dislike their designs. I felt that I had designed more interesting characters before and they just felt so boring, I like their hair and faces, mainly clothes design is where it felt lacking. Jun, Aki, and Yani have the designs I like the best honestly, their clothes feel more intricate.

Anyways yeah that's me and what's been happening, sorry for the long post and venting. I'm still working on asks when I find the motivation to and I did make some progress on them a day or two ago. I hope I can get out of this slump and come back better then ever. Once again thank you all for being patient with me and for supporting me still! I love you all!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I'm going to go a bit more in depth with things, sorry for the long post! You don't have to read what below if you don't want to, it mostly explains more of what's been happening with me, but I've also touched on a lot of my reasons for not posting above! Honestly I lot of it is venting, so please don't read if you're struggling with any below!

TW FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEATH, ABUSE(?), MENTAL ILLNESSES

So a couple years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I didn't really understand it, like it didn't feel like it's affected me that much but I've learned a lot more about it and can definitely see in which ways it has impacted me. When I started Mine I wasn't exactly in a high state of Mine but getting asks and seeing people like my work for once in my life really raised my moods, but I really struggle with staying happy. No matter how much I want happiness to stay, it always leaves. Right now I'm going through one of my lows. Honestly, I typically ignore my lows the best I can, It sometimes work and sometimes it doesn't, this is one of the times where I can't repress my feelings, and as mentioned earlier I do think a part of it is because I've been talking to my therapist about embracing the negative feeling, admit that I'm not happy and work through it instead of hiding it. Not that I blame my therapist, I'm really hoping that it works and I'm choosing to listen to my therapist because I want to get better, honestly I could've ignored everything she told me and kept repressing my feelings but I want to be happy so I'm really trying to embrace the fact that I'm not okay and work through it! I don't know how long this low will last, but when I get out of this low I want to work on Mine and get the same excited and happy feelings I had when I first started. Mine might go through some changes but overall I want these characters to have the same personalities and backstories, the only thing that might change with them is their clothes.

Along with my bipolar disorder, I've been diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features, anxiety, ADHD, and PTSD. Needless to say these all impact me greatly. The lack of motivation, struggling to get up out of bed or go to sleep at a normal time, and even eating and drinking and going to the bathroom. I've always found it easier to take care of others rather then myself because that's just how I was raised. To always put others above myself. As I've gotten older I realized that that's not how that should work, but it was already pushed into my brain and I still struggle to take care of myself. I'm always stressed, can't sleep right and I can't wake up before 5pm. Sometimes I'll sit in one spot, fidgeting while I wait for some motivation to strike. But I can't even think because of course when I think my mind never goes to good things. Thoughts about just wanting to give up(Which don't worry too much, I won't do it, even if the thoughts get to be too much), my repressed memories coming back, mom and her death and neglect before dying, dad and his temper tantrums, my grandma and how she's one of the only people in my life to care and love me, and how I wish I could talk to others easily but of course my mind gets fuzzy and I can't speak and how almost all of my friends have left me, how I feel defective and unlovable. The thoughts don't stop, every time it just gets worse and worse and I can't stop questioning what I did wrong and why no one wants to be my friend. People just use you and then toss you out when they're done and it's so cruel, I want someone who actually wants me in their life and who values me as much as I value them, someone who treats me like a person with actual feelings rather then a robot or an object. But it's so hard to find people like that, as I said there's a lot of cruel people out there and to those who aren't cruel I have a hard time trusting them due to past experiences and I know it's not fair to those kind people but gosh being vulnerable is so hard. And I know it's really early to question if I'll ever meet anyone I can trust 100% because I'm only 18 but gosh do I know about death, I know that death doesn't care about your age. I could die later tonight or sometime this week or next month or maybe I do die in many years, but then what about the people I meet and value, will they be taken away from me as well? Do I want to put my heart on the line just to end up losing them eventually? Could I handle another death? I don't know? I really don't, It already hurts to think about losing my sister and my bestest friend in the entire world, I'm already so lucky to have them in my life, what if I lose them too?

I'm going to start getting into things that I didn't get into earlier this post. I put it down here because it might be triggering and I didn't want anything too sensitive to be at the beginning, I want people to be able to skip this stuff for their own mental health. As mentioned earlier I wasn't able to get therapy for a bit because I didn't have a legal guardian. My mother passed when I was 11 and I've never met my biological dad. My sister I mentioned earlier is my half-sister(I call her sister cause it's easier and no matter what she's still my sister) and her dad took me in very shortly after my mother had passed(I won't be calling him my stepdad, once again because it's easier to just say dad and no matter what he's still my dad, no matter what grudges I have against him) Anyways I didn't have a legal guardian for 6 years, finally getting adopted in January. I had no insurance as well(Btw I don't blame my dad for any of this, he kept getting scammed by the shitty lawyer. So yeah I couldn't get therapy and well I learned how to repress my feelings because of my dad, because y'know he can throw tantrums and be angry and cry all he wants but god forbid someone else is angry or sad. Looking back at it though, mom played a part as well, she just neglected me and didn't give a shit and I learned that no one cares about me.

On a lighter note because gosh I need it. I don't plan on going until I get out all or most of my stories! But my stories have a lot of morbid themes and concepts. One because me too, but I still think it's important to touch on things I haven't been through because others might have and it's a morbid world. I want those people who feel alone in this world to feel seen and heard. Abuse does happen, death happens, suicide is very real, hate crimes happen every day and yet I feel people don't talk about it as much as they should. Like sure the topic will blow up, but after like a couple weeks or months, boom it's forgotten and that's just...wrong. I plan on making it very clear that the topics I write about in my stories are not meant to idolize or romanticize these topics or to make jokes at them, it's just that messed up things do happen. I know how it feels to be and feel alone, like no one will ever understand what you've been through, and I want my stories to be some kind of comfort for those people. I'll put clear disclaimers and tw's on my games and stories so those who don't want to witness that stuff can avoid it. I understand that as well! Like yeah the world is messed up but I already go through that and I don't want to see it in media and stuff, I've definitely been there too. I think I want my games to encourage people who might be struggling to not give up though! You see these characters go through something tough but they're still alive and they get there happy ending(Though not all of my stories have happy endings)

Anyways yeah that's me and what's been happening, sorry for the long post and venting. I'm still working on asks when I find the motivation to and I did make some progress on them a day or two ago. I hope I can get out of this slump and come back better then ever. If any of you are struggling with anything mentioned above, I hope you're able to get help, please don't give up, you're important! Once again thank you all for being patient with me and for supporting me still! I love you all!💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Hi!

3. Do you feel your age?

7. Which fashion trends did you love?

8. Which fashion trends did you hate?

Hey hey!

3. Do you feel your age?

HELL NO I feel 20 at most. Maybe 21?? Not 23 lmfao and being 23 so far has been weird. This whole year was weird tbh. Too many downs and a few very high ups. Also the idea that next year I turn 24 sickens me and terrifies me. However when I was in France and chatting with new people from all over the world, I realised most people in my age range (and probably everyone in general) feel at least 2-3 years younger than they actually are due to COVID, given many countries had restrictions and lockdowns either continuously or frequently over a three-year period or so. So that explains the not being able to register my actual age, at least partially.

7. Which fashion trends did you love?

It's funny bc usually I hate the current fashion trends but this year I felt like I was actually aligning w them by chance?? I loooooooved the dark feminine trends (including makeup) really catching fire. And the old money looks, and also the long black winter coats. Gorgeous. The chunky heeled Mary Jane shoes was also a trend I adored (and actually participated in lmao).

8. Which fashion trends did you hate?

Hmm I'm sure there were many but oddly enough I can't think of any rn?? Maybe some of the Y2K revival but not all of it? I thought some of it was a vibe. There was one person (influencer tbh rip) I followed on ig and their style changed a lot - I really dislike it now (I think it's hideous actually and imma say that out loud - their hair doesn't suit them, they wear clothes at least five sizes too big for them and they can't pull off the look at all, some colours they wear a lot look gaudy on them or don't complement their natural appearance...) but hey whatever makes one happy. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Tbh idk why I still follow them - I don't find any of their content interesting and haven't for ages.

In terms of makeup (adding makeup bc sometimes that helps bring a fashion look together) however I do find the over-blush kinda clownish lmao - mind you I didn't see much of it in Ireland or France (the parts I was in, at least). It can be cute but you gotta know what you're doing. And I've never liked freckles so doing the faux freckles on the face never made sense to me - but that was more 2022 and maybe early 2023 I think? I'll update if I can think of fashion specifically.

Thank you for asking!! <333 Sorry for the long answer ahahaha -_-" :P

End of Year Meme

[limeleviathan]

Fuck it, I rarely get the asks and I wanna do it, so I'll just answer them all for AVIAN and Cerulean

🍩| cupcakes! They both love them (well, Cerulean loves them, AVIAN will eat whatever fits in her mouth pretty much) and ARACHNID makes great ones very frequently

🥂| they are not old enough to drink, but AVIAN can't get drunk anyway due to the design of her cybernetics. Cerulean, however, would become very flirtatious and would probably not leave AVIAN alone (which she would actually love, even if she is very flustered from it)

🏹| AVIAN would remain in the sky with her sniper, covering Cerulean's flank while she teleports in with her sword and magic

🏆| they would both just be proud of the other, although AVIAN does get very competitive sometimes

🎨| flying around at sunset, typically with Cerulean in AVIAN's arms, and just enjoying the view and each other's company

🎸| idk rn, but I know at some random point it's just gonna hit me like a freight train

🚗| not old enough to drive, but assuming they were, Cerulean would drive, and music doesn't matter since they listen to the same songs

🚓| AVIAN without a doubt

🏝️| anywhere with an open sky, a beach, and preferably some kind of fields to lie in

🧸| AVIAN's the big, Cerulean's the little

💌|

Dear AVIAN,

I know I've said this many times before, and I know I'll say it many more times to come, but... you're the best thing that ever happened to me. You're the reason I have a group of people close to me and a roof over my head. And you are the reason I feel so safe to be myself. I love everything you've ever done for me, everything about you, the warmth of your embrace, the joy in your voice as you ramble about something I've never heard of, the kindness in your face as you support anyone feeling down, as I once did myself. I hope that you get back the joy you give to the world, as you thoroughly deserve.

Love,

Cerulean

cute ship asks

🍩 | their favourite snack to eat together 🥂 | what would happen if they got drunk together 🏹 | how they would fight together in a battle 🏆 | their reaction to the other beating them at something 🎨 | their favourite activity to do together 🎸 | the song that describes them the best 🚗 | which one drives and which one picks the music 🚓 | which one is most likely to get arrested  🏝  | their ideal getaway 🧸 | which one is the little spoon & which is the big spoon 🧼 | their feelings on showering together 💌 | a love note from one to the other