#i can't imagine having 2 people doing that on my dash

[spicyvampire]

Close, It's actually 9am for me rn, like we fr so far and yet

Me at 11pm/12am and you at 10am/11am ruining some people's dashes :

me 🫱🏼‍🫲🏿 you inflicting 50+ posts each on other people's dashes all at once every day at the same time (if someone is following us both i think theyre dead)

It's funny cuz I'm pretty sure we live in different time zones??? And yet we always are spamming at the same time, RIP to our commun mutuals and followers

[vashtijoy]

have you seen the commentary from the p5r artbook going around? the shuake part of my dash is losing it a bit at the implication that their wishes were mutual!!! that seems to be what some people are getting from the commentary at least… amy insights?

Hi! I have been through the artbook. It's great, isn't it? :D

The image above is called "One Ending", and the creator caption (by illustrator Akane Kabayashi) reads:

When I think about how Akechi's wish was to play chess after school with the protagonist, I almost want to call him out with "You liked him after all, didn't you!"

Look at that. We're told about Akechi's wish, and what it included. We're as good as told outright that he likes Joker—and this isn't the only time, there's also this:

—There are a whole lot of things we can imagine, based on how the protagonist was depicted as someone special to Akechi. Those are more or less the exact emotions represented during Akechi's confidant. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

"someone special" here is 特別な存在 tokubetsuna sonzai—literally "a special presence". It means a special person, and more than that; it describes someone you find compelling, someone you can't look away from, someone who becomes one of your most important people, the centre of your world. It's another term that is often romantic, but isn't necessarily romantic.

(In the same way, I think Kabayashi's suki jan! is more tongue-in-cheek than it is a cast-iron confirmation that Akechi was canonly in love with Joker. The language there is teasing, it's ambiguous, it's baity; Kabayashi is joking. This is a rank 6—as they say, if you know, you know. But it is of course ultimately up to all of you.)

There's another mention of this image, down in the creator interview:

Out of all the Maruki ending illustrations, it was Akechi's that stuck with me the most. It made such an impression to see them opening up as friends, having a fun, peaceful time together like high school students should. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

What really strikes me in all of this is the emphasis the creators put on the fact that this is Akechi's illustration, Akechi's wish. Because I've thought for a while that we know Akechi has a wish. You can see him struggling with his refusals to Maruki in the first week of January. And you can hear his wish spoken—when Maruki repeats it back to him, during the boss fight, on 2/3:

Maruki {F1 81}君たちとなら、君も過ちのない道を歩めるかも知れないじゃないか！ {F1 81}-kun-tachi to nara, kimi mo ayamachi no nai michi o ayumeru kamoshirenai ja nai ka! If you're with {F1 81}―kun and his friends, you could begin to atone for what you've done! Think about it! With [Amamiya]-kun and his friends beside you, you could choose a path with no mistakes as well!

So this wish has several parts. First, there's that kimi mo, "you also"; it's tempting to read this as Maruki also wanting his new world to erase his past mistakes. Second, there's the first part, "if you're with [Amamiya]-kun and his friends". Where to even start here?

Being with Joker and the others is a prerequisite for the second half of Akechi's wish. It doesn't just coexist, it enables the rest of it. Just like his words in the engine room, "I wonder why we couldn't have met a few years earlier, [Ren]..."

Remember, Akechi's whole arc is about his rejection of trust and friendship, and his insistence on doing everything himself. This is precisely what Futaba calls him out on—"you trusted no one", or "you played life in single-player mode". This is what he unlearns at the climax of the engine room, when he realises he isn't prepared to let the others die—and follows through to save them.

Akechi is nothing without others, and he knows it. Without their support, which he believes he has no right to, he has no hope of living a better life, even were he to be given the chance—and he knows that, too. He has learned, and he has grown—and yet he knows the things he needs and wants so badly are forever inaccessible.

And his wish is about all the Phantom Thieves, not just Joker. There are many tiny references to this end—not least the original Japanese rank 10 line for his confidant, where he sacrifices himself for all of you. Joker is his compelling presence, his someone special, but he's formed small bonds with the others too, God help him.

and then there's the crime thing

The localisation frames Akechi's wish in terms of atonement, but that's not what's on offer. You cannot, after all, atone for things you never did. We see Akechi's wish put into practice, in the Maruki ending, where he appears with his friends beside him, wholly innocent and with unstained hands. And we see it in the first week of January, after he has finally met Maruki and spoken to him:

Akechi: Ah, that reminds me—there was one more thing I wanted to tell you. Akechi: About the reality Maruki's put us in... Akechi: It seems that Okumura and Wakaba are both considered alive by all accounts. [Ren: They're not dead anymore? / What do you mean?] Akechi: They aren't mere illusions, or cognitive beings—they truly are alive and existing in this world. Akechi: In fact, their deaths seem to have never taken place at all in this reality. [Ren: What happened to Shido?] Akechi: Shido was the only one arrested on the crime of attempting to overthrow the government... Akechi: It seems the Phantom Thieves were causing a stir in this society as well, but there's no record of your arrest now. Akechi: Basically, in this reality, you and I haven't committed any crimes.

While Akechi still remembers his crimes, they never took place. They have been undone, and only his lingering memory—and Joker's, at this point—speaks to them. He objects to this on countless levels, he summons all the strength he has to refuse it, but don't make the mistake of thinking that means he doesn't want it. This is Akechi's wish in action.

People are often very certain that Akechi's resolve in the third semester is like iron—that he rejects Maruki's offers right away, is never tempted, never wavers. But that can't be true. We know he's afraid to die. We know about the bad end where you don't complete the Palace, where Akechi says nothing and stares at the floor, seemingly blaming himself internally while all the others blame themselves aloud, for being unable to say no to Maruki's temptations. We know how he responds to this assertion of Maruki's—Maruki, who has perfectly summed up what we know all the other PTs wanted, and who (even if Word of God hadn't just confirmed Akechi's wish) we have, honestly, no reason to doubt.

Because Akechi never refutes this wish that Maruki describes. He never says he doesn't want it. He just rejects it—like all the others, who so desperately want what Maruki could give them. Futaba's mother, Haru's father. Akechi's life, and his innocence. And the people who might have been his friends, if he could dare, one day, to ask.

Akechi is tested just like the others, and the price he pays for his defiance is perhaps the highest of all.

and finally

[The Maruki ending illustrations are] of Maruki's world, where everyone's wishes are granted and they seem happy. The scene shows their actualised wishes, which were never granted in the real world. (Mumon Usuda, chief designer)

We shouldn't forget the price Akechi pays for his impossible wish. Sure, the vision of himself being altered like Sumire clearly haunts him, and I'm sure it made the choice easier—but I don't think it made it that easy. Instead of taking the dream Maruki offered him, Akechi chose to face up to what he'd done, and who he'd become; at the very end, in the third semester and in the engine room, he always makes the right choice.

And that choice was taken away from him. Agency over his life and death, his own acts, and who he would even be—Joker and Maruki take it all away from him and make him a puppet, just like Shido.

Maruki's ending isn't pretty.

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2024/03/29)—first published.

[highlandwhackamole]

A Grand(ish) Theory of What the Heck

I love the utterly unhinged, super detailed theories about what's going on in Good Omens, especially in season 2. I hope one or more of them turn out to be true, as some kind of glorious puzzle-box-hidden-code monstrosity. And also I think that there has to be a simpler explanation for things, for the people who are at least Somewhat Normal (tm) about this show. (... I assume such people do exist somewhere...) This is what I have been pondering recently.

The thing that started me thinking about this was this post, containing some promotional materials for season 2 that feature main characters with scenes in their heads. Like this:

Seeing this created a very similar situation in my own head, but with a nice shiny lightbulb.

All the weirdness: the car, the sideburns, the clock, the behavior of the folks of Soho, the vanishing storefront signs. The absence of God. I think this is all because everything we see is in their heads.

I don't mean it's made up. At least not entirely. Memory is already a plot point. Why not explore it on a deeper level? I've read theories emphasizing the minisodes' stories being retold by Aziraphale and Crowley. I think the whole season is like that.

You know that sort of conventional-wisdom-fact-concept that you can only dream faces of people you've seen before (or variations therein), because your brain can't make new faces up? So it just fills in what it thinks is close enough? I think that idea, applied to remembering or recollecting things, could explain so many things that are wonky in this show.

Wonky Things

Crowley parking in an impossible London location? He definitely remembers it was in London, so his brain just stuck some obvious London landmarks in there.

Awkward clattering happening when Crowley throws the stacks of books he's inexplicably carrying around the bookshop? He wouldn't actually throw Aziraphale's books! But he'd like to think he's cool and nonchalant enough to do that, and if he did it would definitely make Some Kind of Noise.

Jim walking toward the bookshop from somewhere mysterious? Maggie and Nina saw him first, and he came from that direction, so he must've walked all that way. They don't know about the elevator in the Donkey.

Aziraphale remembers tartan hills and the Loch Ness monster because he was having a jolly time driving through Scotland, so obviously the scenery must've been whimsical Scottish things.

Nina put the Honolulu roast sign up, so she remembers its presence, but perhaps the occult/ethereal visitors to her shop do not.

Maggie really did text Aziraphale about the rent, but a note through the mail slot is a much more dignified way for a scholarly angel to imagine he received a message.

On the Fallibility of Recall

This season is loaded with unrealistic inclusions. The colors are turned up to 11. Some of the scenes are more caricature than believable interaction. Remembering things never copies or reproduces them with what one might call high fidelity.

Scenes recalled by separate memories will inherently vary. One person's hefty jigger might be another person's dash. Who knows for sure where the sun was that day? You and I might recall an event having different lighting or a different color palette, sort of like viewing something with different lens filters.

According to Neil, Crowley is an unreliable narrator of the story of his Fall. He labels the variations in clock times as a continuity error in a show where Everything Is Meant, but he doesn't say whose continuity error it is. He insists that the Bentley is the same through the whole season; maybe it was the same, but remembered differently. Maybe this is part of why there's more CGI but it's harder to spot.

So What?

Is this all there is to it? I sure hope not. I like my Good Omens with enough layers to put to shame an onion wrapped in a cake and covered in a parfait.

Is this possibly the fancy footwork that's distracting from the real magic trick? I wouldn't put it past Our Gaiman. There are a lot of things one could hide in the narrative of unreliable memory.

Is this going to stop me from rewatching and repondering and remaking theories for the next couple years? Not even at gunpoint.

[angel-of-the-moons]

I haven’t stopped thinking about that Hobie baby fever fic ever since you posted it. Many thoughts. Many thoughts many many thoughts and ideas many many little ideas.

You have people saying ‘Oh good luck lol kids are SO hard!’ ‘He’s definitely gonna regret it you’re gonna be a single parent’. But Hobie’s probably been WISHING from a young age he could be a parent, the only thing he didn’t prep for is your little one grabbing his wicks and him nervously calling out “Luv, luv help me LUV-”. He learnt very quickly to tie his hair back when he’s holding them. If you have a little girl, everyone always thinks it’s you who’s done her hair for the day or for school. NOPE. Hobie’s been with her in the bathroom since 6 in the morning putting her in braids and buns. Your baby is his whole world and he’ll be DAMNED if he won’t be the absolute best dad EVER ‼️

Oh my godddddddddd my ovaries went 💥💥

The Pitter Patter of Little Feet Pt. 2

Dad!Hobie x Wife!Reader

TW/CW: A lil angst at the start, Fluff. So much fluff.

A/N: I'm basing all my baby prep off of the things I had to do for my nephew. I am unsure the proper care that goes into textured hair but I hope I can do it justice!

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

You remember what people told you, how "someone like him" wouldn't be able to handle being a dad, how he'd leave you. The words said by your mother hurt the worst, the things she said about Hobie. Your father was no better, especially when they found out you two agreed to get pregnant before anything else.

Especially after you put the positive pregnancy tests, the test results from blood work with your doctor, and some baby booties on the table as a surprise.

It was supposed to go like you imagined, right? Happy jubilant crying, hugs, congratulations...

You got the exact opposite, with your parents criticizing everything about your boyfriend, the father of your unborn baby. The man you loved.

"What kind of father would he be? A bad one, just look at how he's dressed! You think he can help dress your child?" Your mother scoffed. "And those awful piercings! I bet your baby will be running around with holes in their face by the time they're six!"

"And what about a job? You can't be the only one to support your family. He's a man, he needs to step up and quit it with that "punk lifestyle". It's not suitable to raise my grandchild in!" Your father grunted.

After your baby was born, you cut them off and had a courthouse wedding, and a little get-together with his friends from the Spider Society. A mix of a reception and baby shower.

Joke's on them! Hobie was an amazing father, and an amazing husband. The moment he found out you two were having a little girl?

Pink. And. Purple. Her style would be all punkish of course.

He got stuffed instruments that crinkled for when she would teethe, some guitar-shaped rattles...

And he would never admit it, but Hobie actually cried, when he got to hold your baby girl for the first time. You guys named her Selena. Selena Brown.

She came out angry, wailing, as if she was pissed off at the world she had only been in for a few moments.

"Already got the spirit! Make a big noise, a big statement. That's my girl!" Hobie laughed, playing with her tiny feet.

After that, Hobie was very attentive. From you working from home, he would help. He'd fetch the breast pump when you needed it, would prep the bottles, and keep Selena occupied while you worked. He would even take the late shifts at night to make sure you got your rest.

As Selena got bigger, her hair became a bit unruly, and at times you had no idea what to do with it. Hobie? He came in clutch. The proper ties, hair masks, grease (if needed), oils, brushes...

The trick was getting the rambunctious one year old to hold still while her father attempted to tame the poofy mass.

It was one day, you got up from your computer only to hear Hobie shout your name.

"Babe! Babe!" He cried out, grunting.

Of course, you made a dash for the living room, only to see your husband with your toddler. Apparently she had moved behind him, her hands clinging to his shirt to help keep her balanced as she bounced on her little chubby feet.

Her big brown eyes gleamed as she giggled, her bottom teeth poking out in the most adorable way.

Well... it wasn't from where Hobie sat.

Selena's little fist had a tight hold over one of his wicks, tugging his head back sharp.

"A lil' help, luv?!" He winced, hissing at you as you covered your face to try and keep from laughing.

"Come on, Bug, give daddy's poor head a rest. He's got enough problems with that mess he calls hair." You tease, scooping up your little girl.

But... even though her grip loosened, Hobie's wick stayed attached to her hand.

"Oh... ohhhhh..." You said, clicking your tongue.

"What! What!" Hobie groaned, trying to tug his head free.

"You made me have a spider baby."

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 764: Dearest wish

Pag 1

1: The one thing the third year Onoda Sakamichi desires is....?

Pag 2

3: His dearest wish!!

4: Right!!

Pag 3

1: That's definitely Onoda's dearest wish

Pag 4

2: Do your beest

They're so fast!

They move the wind

The jerseys are so brightly colored

3: No no no no

4: That- that's not it

That's not-

Is Sohoku arguing over something!?

Pag 5

1: That- that was just the spur of the moment

I ended up just saying anything

2: That's not my dearest wish at all....

So- uhm

3: Please forget about it, everyone!!

4: No way!!

Yeah

Teh!!

Yep

Yeah

Pag 6

1: That must be our goal this year!! Our third victory in a row!!

Pag 7

1: Yessir!!

On!!

Yeah!!

2: The three day long stage is harsh and long, that's why everyone's strengths will be necessary!!

Yessir!!

3: If we can all unite our strengths and support each other as one...

4: The I'll be able to win brilliantly!! Yeah!!

Just like I did during the prefectural qualification!!

Ohhhh

Tch

Pag 8

1: I'll sprint desperately, Hotshot-san will accompany me, and I'll do a grand finishing dash, just like that day!!

Okay!! You've been saying it over and over again!!

2: You're really a guy who clings to the glory of the past

The prefectural qualification is connected to the Inter High, it's not in the past!!

You're the type of guy I hate the most when you get carried away

Naruko-san was amazing, teh!!

That day, yeah!!

Naruko-san!!

3: Sto-stop iit, you were both amazing that day

4: Come oon... we're in the middle of an important meeting

6: Now that I think about it

Onoda-san's....

7: This is all

Pag 9

1: Can I say one last thing?

2: I also think our goal must be a third consecutive victory

3: There's just one thing I'm curious about we still haven't asked

Onoda-san

5: What's your goal this year?

What are you running in the Inter High for?

6: When I asked you this last year during the first years' race

Pag 10

1: I want to report it

2: You said you wanted to report the victory to your senpai

3: And you

4: Accomplished that

5: Honestly, when I first heard that I thought “what is he talking about, that's such a small goal”

But that day, after the race, when I saw Onoda-san doing it

6: I was shaking

I thought from the bottom of my heart that it was amazing

Pag 11

1: I thought you were super cool

5: Wh- no no

That- I was just reporting, there's nothing cool about it at all, okay

Pag 12

1: So I want to know what your goal is this year

Please tell us what you're thinking about!!

2: Is it “I want to report to that senpai once again”!?

4: Crowning your third victory in a row as the captain!?

6: Is it the mountain's bib!? Is it winning a stage!?

Please tell us... your goal during the race...

7: or maybe for when the race is over!!

8: A.....

9: No no no

It's nothing- yes, it's nothing!!

Pag 13

1: Onoda's goal....

2: I see, what Onoda-kun wants to do....

3: Now that I think about it....

4: What is it!? You started saying it now, “a”!!

Is it “running as an assist”!?

5: Does it mean you don't want to bear the last heavy burden!?

No no no no, that's fine, if the situation calls for it I'll do my best

6: That's enough, Issa

7: There are things Onoda-san doesn't want to say too

No, if it can become motivation for the team then he should say it

Pag 14

1: Onoda-san's goal!!

2: But still, Issa!!

I'm telling you, anything is fine!!

Ah, uhm...

3: It's a really personal thing, so.... don't get your hopes up...

But.... that's... always been.... my dearest wish...

4: Dearest wish!!

5: If we run with all we have in this Inter High.... putting together all of our strengths and deliver our jersey to the finish line

6: If we get the best result....

Pag 15

1: No no, I really can't say more than this

3: Say it, everything's fine. I'm curious too

4: Ah.... if we get the best results.... I....

5: I want to reserve a room somewhere...

6: A room?

8: Prepare teacakes

9: Cakes!?

10: Ask for everyone's cooperation...

Pag 16

1: Gather five people

5: It's something I've been imagining.... since before... entering school in my first year.....

7: Even just for one day

8: Even just a few hours after school

Everyone will bring what they like

9: A.....

Oi.... don't tell me you mean.... you

Pag 17

1: I'm thinking of reviving the anime research club!!

Pag 18

5: No way!!

Pag 19

1: And then, there

2: I think I could call Makishima-san, who likes figures

I feel like you've misunderstood something here

3: And Midosuji-kun who likes anime

Would you be able to hold a conversation with him!?

4: Isn't that good!! The best goal!!

5: You'll gather five people in no time!!

6: Kakaka mine will be the first name you write down

7: Amazing

From England and Kyoto....!!

Pag 20

1: I don't really get it, but somehow that fired me up!!

2: That's Onoda-san's dearest wish!!

3: Ah

4: N-no, it's really nothing much, so I take it back...

Revive the anime club!!

Let's do it, for Onoda-san!!

I don't really know what an anime club does, but I'm in!!

Me too!!

5: Yeeah!!

Let's do it!!

Issa, calm down

Pag 21

2: Your goal is to “revive the anime research club even for just day”?

Oi oi, that's such a small

3: but splendid goal!!

4: You managed to unite the club's intentions as one with such bizarre words!!

5: You're really are an unpredictable guy!!

The plate will soon become green

“Real start”.... the real race will start!!

[miss-nandini]

Hi! ~ I really liked your post with the dormleaders telling them you hate him during a'n argument, is it ok for you if you could write this but with the vice dormleaders? (switching out ortho baby princess cutiepie with Floyd cause 1. No one can look at the little baby and tell sweet angel you can hate him 2. He's a child, nono and 3. I don't wanna be hacked by his brother 😭 and 4. I just love Floyd that menace) hope you're doing well ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

A/N: Hello! First of all, I hope you are doing well. Thank you so much for requesting. Please enjoy <3

HC: Telling him that you hate him during an argument + Aftermath.

Vice-housewardens

Why did it come down to this? One moment you two were having a good time and the next moment it turned into a heated argument. 

"I hate you so much!"

Now, you can't do anything after those horrible words left your mouth as he stared at you with a heartbroken look on his face.

Trey: (Y/N)...!

A look of shock and hurt crossed Trey's face as those words left your mouth. Now, he is a mature one. He knows you said it out of pettiness. However, that didn't stop him from feeling hurt. Where did he go wrong? He is always gentle with you, always tries to listen... then what went wrong...? He let you walk out of his room, even though his heart broke into pieces. 

(Savanaclaw currently dosen't have a vice-housewarden. But, I will write for Ruggie, since he is the closest to one.)

Ruggie: His playful smile vanished. He tried to act nonchalant but the way his wars drooped was proof enough that he was extremely upset.

"Oh... I see..."

His voice was shaky. Why did you have to say that? Sure, he wasn't the best person to date, but, he was trying...for you... He quietly excused himself and almost dashed out of the botanical garden. Why is his heart aching so much...?

Jade: His expressions remained the same even though his heart shattered inside. What did he do so wrong for you to say you hate him...? He smiled, a smile full of pain, a smile that was desperately telling you to say that you didn't mean it. A smile...that crumbled him when you walked away from him...

(Replacing Ortho with Floyd because, my dear buddy here asked me to.)

Floyd: He was used to people disliking his personality. But you? Just when he finally thought someone truly loves him for himself...he was proven wrong in the worst way possible.  His grip on you faltered and when you walked away from him, he couldn't do anything but shed tears of pain.

Jamil: Why is he even surprised? Of course you hate a twisted person like him! He never deserved your love in the first place. It's only fair that you hate him. At least, that's what his mind told him. But, as you bolted out of his room, he could physically hear his heart shattering.

Rook: Rook's composure faltered. He didn't expect you to use such extreme words. But you did and broke his heart in the process. Why (Y/N)? 

"Mon trickster..."

His voice cracked. Rook tried to stop you from leaving. But, you never once looked back.

Lilia: He was an ancient creature. Lilia thought that he experienced everything. So, something so petty like that shouldn't hurt him, right? But, it did. His heart ached so much. You hate him? Why?

He could only stare at the wall as you left him alone...

AFTERMATH

Trey: Trey was understanding, when you apologized. However, he was still hurt. But when you wrapped your arms around his torso and kept apologizing, he couldn't help but melt in your embrace. He will forgive you eventually.

"Trey?"

"Mhm...?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too, (Y/N)..."

"Let's bake something together?"

"Great idea, (Y/N). Let's do that."

Ruggie: His ears were still drooped. It looked like you managed to hurt him way worse than you imagined. Apologize again and hand him a box of doughnuts. He will smile a bit. Cuddle with him for the rest of the night and the next day he will be all better.

"Ruggie, I love you so much."

"Mhmm, (Y/N)? I love you too babe."

Jade: Jade was upset. But, he was good at acting like it was nothing. When you apologize to him he will forgive you. But, don't be fooled, he is still upset. Spend more time with him and make sure to make him realize that you truly love him.

"I love you so much Jade."

He smiled softly.

"I know, angelfish. I love you too."

Floyd: ​​Floyd was truly upset. You have to do a LOT to make him forgive you. Man is more moody than a pampered house-cat. When you apologize, he will try to brush off your apology. If you hug him, he will pout like a child. Hug him a little tighter and say how much you love him? Yeah, you got him.

"I really love you, Floyd."

"Hehe~ I love you too, shrimpy~"

Jamil: He will be cold to you. But, don't give up! You know how he is, right? Have a long talk with him and maybe help him out a bit with his chores? Show him that you truly love him. When night falls, wrap your arms around him and don't let him go before morning.

"Jamil, please, I love you."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I love you and only you."

"...I love you too."

Rook: He will easily forgive you. Man will probably cry a river, when you tell him that you still love him. Just apologize and he will wrap you in a bear hug. He was so scared and hurt. But, now he is relieved.

"Mon chèrie, never scare me like that ever again!"

He sniffed.

"I'm sorry Rook, I promise I love you."

"Je t'aime aussi, mon amour..."

Lilia: ​​Another one who is going to act like your harsh words didn't effect him. Oh no, but, it did! He is going to be really upset for quite awhile. Malleus will be so confused about the whole situation. Don't procrastinate too much and apologize to Lilia. He will forgive you soon enough and you two can go back to being partners in crime.

"Lilia? I love you."

"Kheee kheee, I love you too (Y/N)~"

[smytherines]

Hey, I saw that you were bored, and I am also bored, so have an ask! Your Owen headcanons are great, so I was wondering if you have any about Owen's interest in acting/theatre?

It's one of the things that's really interesting to me about his character, even though it only gets a brief mention in canon.

Sorry if you've answered something like this already!

Ooooooooo this is such a good ask

It's weird, because despite being a hardcore theatre kid myself (I spent ages 8-18 in a community theatre program doing 2 plays and a musical every year), I always tend to see Owen's interest in acting in relation to my autistic Owen headcanon, as allegorical instead of literal acting/theatre.

Although in my experience, masked autistic people make excellent actors because it's what we do all the time anyways- every social interaction is a performance. We finesse ways to deliver lines, body language, tone of voice. I have to physically stop myself from rocking or swaying. I say combinations of words I've memorized from TV, delivered in the style of whatever actor's delivery is most appealing to me. Before I was diagnosed I used to joke that I built my public personality around Lauren Graham's line deliveries in Gilmore Girls. (I also routinely quote that show in social interactions)

It's exhausting, but I can more or less be at a social event for a few hours and seem ~normal~ and then come home and fall apart. The only time I feel like I can really unmask is when I'm totally alone, and the more time I spend with others (even people I love and adore!) The more irritated I get, the more quickly I melt down, the less I'm able to keep up the "I'm totally normal" facade I've constructed.

Obviously I'm 1000% projecting onto this character, but that's kinda how I see Owen and how I write him. I mean he literally is masked for most of the show, the acting, the way he speaks and his body language changing based on who he's around and what he's doing, him putting on personas and playing characters, the specific way he speaks with his hands, the way he seems to fixate on certain interests and ideas and ideological positions, the way they emphasize his interest in details, just so much of that feels familiar to me.

I do think he probably would've enjoyed acting. It saved my life. I wouldn't have survived without learning how to be someone else, someone other people don't immediately reject. For a second I thought maybe he could've been involved in vaudeville as a teenager, like Cary Grant, but vaudeville was on its way out by the early 30s so that doesn't seem likely. He'd be too young for it.

But I imagine he really liked to read plays, even if he didn't necessarily have a way to act or to see theatre as a kid/young adult. I think in the chwm epilogue I wrote about him buying a used copy of Pygmalion (unless I deleted that in editing, I can't remember). I think he probably read a lot and listened to radio plays and listened to BBC News to perfect his respectable posh accent.

I've had a headcanon for awhile now that Curt and Owen used to have sneaky little late night movie dates, because they just both love movies so much. Curt loves the action and the fantasy, the heroics of 1950s cinema, probably westerns, war films, musicals. Owen likes noir, and sci-fi, and british kitchen sink social dramas (those might be a *bit* late for him but the precursors for that), and is fascinated with the mechanics of acting, picking things apart, like he almost sees it as research for their jobs.

That's mostly just because I love classic films from the 30s-60s and now any time I watch something that came out during their time period I find myself wondering how those characters would react to it.

To me, in my little headcanon, Owen Carvour meticulously built this image of the perfect dashing confident charming British spy. And eventually he meets Curt and he trusts Curt, he sees that they have these similar rough edges that they hide with arrogance and vanity, that they are both playing a role. Curt is the first person who more or less experiences the world the way Owen does- filtering out the unacceptable parts of themselves to get by.

Curt is the only person he ever feels safe even partially letting the act drop with. Not all the way, they could never be 100% vulnerable with each other like that. But enough that Owen feels... safe with Curt. Not just about their secret (although yes also that), but Curt is the only person Owen allows to see any vulnerability, any trace of who he really is. It's part of why what Curt does feels like such a betrayal, why Owen can't move past it. Because he had a relative safe harbor, one person on earth he trusted, and it nearly got him killed.

[mrghostrat]

ok gamers lets Interact

(answering asks) (bc i get self conscious abt spamming the dash)

@goblin-named-sam: oh my goddd that would be SO RAD!!! i would love to see this, you have my full permission! (and same re: reading everything out loud omg i do that too htphfpt)

also my bestie is the same with human AUs so i completely get it, and am so pleased & proud my work can be considered so in character to bypass that worry. i agree that the 6,000 years of pining, as well as their separation from the rest of humanity, is a massively integral part of what makes aziraphale and crowley. but imo their lil everyday interactions are just as important, like their flow of conversation and all the temptation vs resistance.

so as long as human AUs recreate that dynamic in some way, they can be sooo fun to read. and then you unlock a whole new range of stories for when you get tired of the same/similar End Of The World narrative. it's hard to get it right, especially when writing a completely different medium like twitch chats and discord messages, but soooo rewarding when it lands 😭🙏 thank you again.

@froggyliciouz: thank you so much holy shit!!

Anonymous: i live for this. ur sustaining me. every time i open my inbox and look at this message, more of my age lines disappear

Anonymous: thank you for telling me so! 🥹

Anonymous: dying over all the ppl rereading it even when it's just come out!!!! so freaking flattering i can't even describe <3

Anonymous: it's lil messages like these that i worry im gonna be annoying if i publish them all to my dash but they bring me SO MUCH LFIE i love every single one kiss kiss thank you for messaging me 🥺

Anonymous: oh how naive i was to think that all this positive reinforcement wouldn't make me keep writing at such a desperate speed 😂

Anonymous: I SWEAR I REPLIED TO THIS ONE... well i hope the cards turned out well! i am 100% here for dangling my fic like carrot and string to get you through chores and tasks >B) phase 2 of the plan is getting us all on a healthy sleep schedule

Anonymous: all hail the stream worm 🙇🪱🙇 and you can thank all the tasty comments people are leaving (and asks like this!!) for making me doubly feral about getting new updates out. must--please--the worms--

Anonymous: AYYY THERE YOU ARE I'M SO PROUD OF YOU 🎉 thank you so much for comin on back and sharing such lovely thoughts about my work 😭💛

Anonymous: ty for reading!! so many fics have done the students' reaction to their relationship better than i ever could 💛 but i love it when they're in total shock and maybe don't even believe it at first 😂 adam would definitely think crowley is pranking them at first (but it would also be so sweet if they all started being a little more personable with aziraphale — i imagine that after the trip, they already would, since they got to see this fun snarky side of him. but even moreso once they realise he's their favourite teacher's husband)

@quinnie28: thank you soooo muchhh for recommending it!! some of my favourite all time fics were sent to me by my bestie. very honoured to be read by someone who doesn't usually read wips <333

Anonymous: he'll always be our lil meow meow

Anonymous: I'm so happy i could bring you a lil joy 🥹 lots of love to you

[separatist-apologist]

Lying In Between The Memories

You could call it paradise but it looks just like hell to me

Summary: Following the blood rite, Gwyneth Berdara can't shake the memories of a life long-gone.

The shadowsinger can't seem to move on after five centuries of loving the same woman.

Together, they'll have to carve a new path forward.

Read on AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

[ongoing TW for Sexual Assault]

“Sloppy,” Azriel crooned, his knee pushed against her chest. Gwyn groaned, kicking out her leg to sweep him against the ground. Azriel grunted, his body toppling sideways before thudding to the ground so hard the world seemed to shake. Breathless, Gwyn scrambled upward, straddling his hips to press a knife against his throat.

“Your move, shadowsinger.”

It took him no effort at all to flip their position, causing her to cut a thin line against his throat. Gwyn gasped while little droplets of blood fell across her cheek. He merely watched, eyes tracking the moment before pulling himself off her.

“No hesitating next time.”

Gwyn sighed, ribs creaking from the effort it took to right herself. “You could have died, you know.”

He only shrugged. “Maybe…if you didn’t hesitate every time you brought the knife to my throat.”

“I’m starting to think you want me to kill you.”

Azriel leveled a stare in her direction. “I want you to believe you could kill me. You know the right moves, but when it comes time to actually following through, you stop short. Why?”

Gwyn looked away. “I’m working on it. Like you were a natural born killer your first day, anyway.”

“I was.”

And Gwyn believed that. The High Lord’s former pet had likely killed many people without flinching. “It was never hard?”

Azriel brushed his hands on his knees, clad in that thick, heavy leather armor. Seven cobalt siphons gleamed in the gloom, harnessing whatever killing power he’d been born with. Turning those hazel eyes back to her, Azriel murmured, “No. This is what I was born to do.”

“I don’t think that's true for me,” she admitted. Gwyn had never said that to anyone, let alone Azriel who…well, Gwyn wasn’t sure what Azriel was to her anymore. Not really a friend, but not exactly a lover, either. Still, he was accumulating her secrets at a rapid rate, and she’d touched his cock two nights before.

They weren’t speaking about either of those things. Even after the follow up conversation where they’d laid out ground rules for continuing in the future, Azriel had been perfectly normal the next morning and Gwyn hadn’t been willing to ask him what was going on. Nor did she dare to make any kind of move, despite her curiosity. Gwyn had read plenty—enough to know everything he could likely do to her. Back then, it had felt like revolution to find enjoyment, to find her body still reacted with pleasure and not fear or revulsion. And the night before, with her hand stroking his cock and wing, well…

She’d slid her fingers beneath the bedsheets when he’d finally retreated back behind a closed door and let herself imagine what he might do the next time they were alone. Gwyn had several scenarios she favored—all of them dashed when Azriel repeatedly slammed her to the ground, knife at her throat.

She ought to have known nothing would change between them. 

“What do you think you were supposed to do?” Azriel questioned, dragging her back to the present. Right—they were still talking. If Azriel noticed she’d left him for a moment, lost in thought, he didn’t betray it. Nor did he ask what she’d been thinking about, though there was a curious gleam in his hazel eyes. 

Gwyn shrugged. “I don’t know anymore.”

That was the hard and horrible truth. She had her ambition, her desire to outdo even Merrill in the library, to rise the ranks of the Night Court scholars and maybe, one day, even give Day Court a little competition. But sometimes, if she was honest with herself, it felt more like a distraction than a true calling.

She’d once thought being a priestess was her passion. It had been her passion, and Hybern had stolen that from her. “What if—” Gwyn cut herself off as Azriel began to turn, positioning himself for another drill she would undoubtedly lose. 

“Yes?” he asked when she didn’t speak for a minute, loosening his shoulders ever so slightly.

“What if we’re more than just…killing and research?”

Azriel’s brow furrowed. “What would we be without those things?”

Gwyn didn’t know and admitted as such, shaking her head. Still, she took a step toward him, because she was certain they must be more than just their jobs. “Don’t you think, though?”

“No.”

Of course he didn’t. Azriel was old, set in his ways. He wasn’t going to be of any use to her on this. Sighing, Gwyn went for her dagger. She’d have to figure it out on her own, which was fine, but also a little disappointing.

In front of her, Azriel hesitated. Gwyn raised her weapon, expecting him to strike. Shadows gathered in his eyes, blinked away after a moment. “Without…without my work, what use am I to anyone?”

Silence rang between them, loud enough to drown out the sound of the ocean just below. Azriel held Gwyn’s stare, their hearts synced against as one. The horrible truth of his words settled in her stomach because Gwyn felt the exact same way. If she wasn’t doing something that contributed to her home, her friends, then why would they want her around at all? They’d replace her—she just knew they would. Emerie and Nesta would turn away if they knew how rotting her insides felt, disgusted they’d ever allowed her in their presence in the first place. 

That was her. Azriel was the right hand of the High Lord. She’d heard the way Cassian spoke of him—closer than brothers, by the sound of it. Rhysand, too, looked at Azriel with a mixture of admiration and affection. Their friendship was unquestioned in Gwyn’s mind. A family, but more. Surely he must know they loved him.

But standing there, Gwyn could see that same hollow darkness that so often threatened to swallow her. If Azriel, after five hundred years of living, couldn’t find value in himself outside of his skills, then what hope was there for her? 

Swallowing hard, Gwyn forced herself to say something. He’d made himself momentarily vulnerable, and she suspected if she turned him away, he’d shut down forever. He was the only friend she had out here—she didn’t want to go back to the distant silence that plagued them when they first arrived. 

“I feel the same way,” she choked out, hating the way those words felt like acid on her tongue. Azriel didn’t move for a moment, cocking his head. The emptiness vanished, replaced by cool assessment. The moment had passed—they wouldn’t speak of it again. At least, not for now.

“Weapon up,” he ordered. And for once, Gwyn was perfectly happy to do exactly as he asked. 

It was far later in the evening, wrapping things up with Kai, when Azriel returned to her. Stalking in like a cat, he dropped gracefully into his usual chair. Was he aware he was rescuing her—again—from Kai’s frustrating line of questioning? 

“Do they, though?” Kai pressed, ignoring Azriel’s presence like he always did. Gwyn wanted to scream. 

“Of course females still raise children in Prythian,” she gritted out. Did he imagine their females just popping out babies wherever they happened to be standing, only to abandon them to the wilds? More frustrating, still, was Kai's subtle attempt to prove that what Gwyn was doing here was unnatural for females. 

“All of them?”

“Males help,” Azriel interjected, his tone exceptionally bored. Pulling out his dagger, he added, “The High Lord takes an exceptionally active role raising his son.”

Gwyn sighed softly, relieved for Azriel’s help. Kai’s expression became pinched, clearly frustrated he’d been thwarted. 

“And his consort—

“His wife is High Lady,” Gwyn said softly, delighted to see this was a piece of information Kai was wholly unaware of. Was it wise to tell him that? Maybe it didn’t matter, because when her eyes flickered to Azriel, she could see he was weighing his options—violence or not, wholly dependent on if Kai insulted Feyre Archeron. 

He wasn’t stupid, offering a soft, “Ah.”

That was all they were given. Kai excused himself not long after, asking Gwyn specifically to join him at dinner before swanning out without even a look in Azriel’s direction. Slumping in her chair, Gwyn put her forehead against the page of her book. How much longer did she even have here? A week? A month?

Forever?

Gwyn intended to close her book and plod back to her bedroom where she could at least work on her cypher when something buzzed between her legs. Starting, Gwyn slammed her knee beneath the table so hard a nearby goblet clattered to the floor.

Azriel glanced over, arching a brow. “Everything okay?” he asked, his voice dark and silky.

“Fine,” she said breathlessly. What was that? 

Gwyn exhaled softly as Azriel went back to staring at the wall, drumming his fingers against his knee. She just needed to calm her racing heart, she told herself. Just need—

The soft buzzing returned, pressed so closely against her body it was like someone was humming. Arousal spiked through her even as she yelped again. This time, Azriel smiled, even as he kept his eyes on the far wall.

“Are you doing this?” she demanded breathlessly.

“Sit back down, Gwyn.” Gwyn remained on her feet, openly defying his soft, authoritative words. He couldn’t tell her what to do. She’d stand here until he…until he what? Apologized? She couldn’t picture Azriel atoning for anything, let alone trying to get her off.

Especially when the soft buzzing returned, causing Gwyn to lurch for the table. 

“Why don’t you make it easy on me,” Azriel murmured, turning those hazel eyes fully on her, “and spread your legs open real wide.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she gasped, because this time he didn’t stop, even when she collapsed back into her chair.

“You have no idea how much I would,” he agreed with a dark chuckle. 

“Az—”

“Lean back, Gwyn,” he urged, not moving from his chair. She wanted to, too. The touch on her clit had shifted from polite buzzing to exploratory caressing—like a mouth gently blowing air while soft fingers caressed every inch of skin between her legs. Gwyn squirmed, though she did spread herself open just a little wider. He couldn’t see her beneath the table and wondered what he would have done if she’d propped herself up on the table so he could see.

Gwyn could almost imagine it. She could see herself climbing atop the wood and lifting her skirts. His eyes might sharpen, his grip tightening against his own chair while he shifted, suddenly uncomfortable in his rather nice black trousers. 

“That's it,” Azriel murmured in real life, though it could have been her fantasy. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You didn’t,” she gasped, heat flooding her cheeks.

“I thought it was obvious what I was thinking about,” Azriel replied casually, shifting in his chair just the way she imagined. Stop looking at him. Think about someone else. 

But Gwyn couldn’t drag her eyes off him. Darkness oozed out of him, and all she wanted right in that moment, was to crawl into his lap and demand he actually touch her. 

She didn’t think she was brave enough for it. 

“Tell me,” Gwyn asked, arching her neck when his touching became more precise, firmer as he narrowed in what he wanted—to make her come. Gwyn wanted that too. Scooting back from the table, she propped her heel up on the edge of the chair, pleased when her dress hid her from view. Azriel sat up to look with a kind of animalistic hunger that should have scared her.

It thrilled her. Just a little, she lied to herself. Just while he was touching her.

“Your hand was wrapped around my cock,” Azriel reminded her, his own voice deeper than she remembered. The scent of arousal was flooding the air—not just hers, but the salt edged musk of his own. 

“But before that—”

“I was thinking about my hand in your hair, wrapped around my wrist,” he interrupted. “I was thinking about your back arched while I fucked you into the mattress.”

Oh. 

“I think you’d like it,” he added, unaware that Gwyn was currently unspooling in the chair she sat in. Her hips bucked involuntarily which only served to heighten the pleasure he was drawing from her with expert precision. 

“Azriel,” she whispered, gripping the edge of her chair as her legs began to tremble.

“Let go, Gwyn,” he replied—it was an order. Their eyes met as the invisible touch between her legs picked up, turning to a pleasant combination of buzzing and sucking. “Come for me.”

She wanted to. Telling herself to close her eyes, Gwyn merely watched as Azriel leaned forward, bracing his elbows against his muscular knees. His eyes were brighter than she’d ever seen him, though the rest of his face seemed half hidden in shadow. He was more monster than male, fingers curled to fists so tight she  could see the whites of his knuckles. 

“Please, Azriel—”

The touch expanded, caressing and teasing over every inch of skin. It was too much. Gwyn clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming just as Azriel lunged, slamming to the ground so roughly the overhead chandelier shook violently. Making his fantasy a reality, Azriel gripped her by the back of her head, fingers twisting the strands of her hair.

“Next time it’ll be my mouth,” he panted, his lips mere inches from her own. It was like he needed to physically breathe the same air as her while she came. Gwyn couldn’t stop herself from pushing a palm against his chest, not to shove him away, but to brace herself as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her.

She’d touched herself before. She knew how it felt.

It was nothing in comparison. 

Pressing his forehead to her own, Azriel remained kneeled beside her, eyes closed while he waited for her to go limp. The touching between her legs vanished, leaving her oddly bereft. It was only then that Azriel let her go, flexing his fingers as he rose to his feet. 

“We should go,” he said, looking toward the door as if he’d just realized anyone might have walked in on them. 

Drawing breath, Gwyn agreed. She wanted to reach for him, to steady herself against his solid strength.

She didn’t, though.

AZRIEL:

“Helion had no idea how to solve the translation plaguing Gwyn,” Rhysand began, standing in plain view bathed in a beam of moonlight. No one would see him—not unless Rhysand willed it. Azriel understood the High Lord had cast one of Helion’s shields around them, while also using his daemati power to keep from anyone realizing what they were looking at.

Anyone peering into the night would merely see Azriel, hands folded behind his back as he stared out at the sea. Not that anyone would, given he and Rhys had chosen to meet on the same island Azriel and Gwyn used for training. 

Azriel nodded. “She’s created a cypher. Once it's completed, I’ll have it sent to you and begin writing in code.”

“I didn’t allow Helion to keep the page,” Rhys told Azriel wryly. “He’s probably going to try and get one of his scholars out here, so tell Gwyn to move quickly.”

Azriel bristled, though he nodded his head all the same. “How are things at home?”

Rhys sighed. “The same. Beron is still in Autumn, if that’s what you’re wondering.” It was. Azriel nodded once, glancing behind him at the palace in the distance. For now, everyone was safe and things were going as planned. Azriel had to admit that being here with Gwyn wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened.

Better than Vanserra, at any rate.

It was tempting to tell Rhys to tell Feyre he missed her and ask after the baby. He didn’t, and Rhys didn’t push, though he did tell Azriel a quick, amusing story about Nyx accidentally escaping a window and the morning he and Cassian had spent trying to get him back before Feyre realized her toddler was missing.

Azriel was smiling faintly by the time Rhys stepped back, rolling his neck against his shoulders. “Az?”

Azriel looked up, surprised Rhys had spoken his name. “Yes?”

“Do I want to know what’s going on here?”

Azriel frowned. “What do you mean? I’ve told you—”

“You’re drenched in sex.”

Ah. 

Azriel didn’t react. “New places, new faces.”

Rhys smirked. “Oh? Is that what Gwyneth is, then?”

Azriel took a step back. “In my head?”

“I don’t need to be in your head to read your distraction, brother. It’s practically oozing out of you. I don’t care what you do, but take care not to let anyone else know.”

“It’s nothing,” Azriel lied. “Just close proximity.” Rhys’s lip curled, reading the lie for what it was. “I used to tell myself the same damn thing.”

And then he was gone, leaving Azriel standing in the dark feeling stupid. What happened between Rhys and Feyre and whatever was going on between him and Gwyn were wholly separate things. Azriel shoved the thought from his mind entirely, refusing to dwell on it a second longer. Rhys loved to meddle and now that Cassian was mated and well on his way to being married, Azriel supposed he was next.

With his track record, Rhys sure had his work cut out for him. 

Leaping in the air, Azriel made his way back to the palace just in time to find King Gareth standing in the very courtyard Azriel slammed into. The king could have been any other male right then, head inclined toward the star freckled sky. 

The man looked over at Azriel, expression etched with something akin to yearning. “My wife loved these kinds of nights,” he told Azriel casually, as if Azriel cared. Still, it was information, wasn’t it? And something about him often made people want to confess the worst of their sins.

He stepped closer, tucking his wings tight against his body while one shadow slid between his shoulder blade to watch. 

“Sometimes I wonder why…” Gareth trailed off, turning back to the sky. Azriel waited for more, but the king went still, eyes unfocused as he watched a silvery cloud pass overhead. With a respectful bow, Azriel left the king—and one of his shadows—to head up to bed. 

Gwyn was nowhere to be found, her door closed tight. It was tempting to fling it open like she’d done just two nights before, though Azriel supposed that was one double standard that ought to remain. 

He could smell the scent of soap in the air, floral and sweet and so Gwyn it made his teeth ache. Retreating to his own bathing chamber, Azriel spent more time rubbing his cock than he did actually cleaning his skin. This was madness, he told himself. It wasn’t Gwyn so much as the eerie atmosphere of Montessere and the secrets that swirled around him like shadow. 

She was merely a bi-product of it all. Absently, drying himself off, he wondered if he wouldn’t be doing a better job at keeping distance if they’d been sent somewhere else. 

He’d almost convinced himself that was true until her door opened. Gwyn stepped out in a thin purple nightdress clinging to her lithe frame. Damp hair framed her flushed face as steam—and his shadows—curled around her. The scent of her slammed into his chest, physically knocking him back, not that she noticed.

“I did it,” she said breathlessly, slamming a piece of paper to the table. “Look at this.”

Cauldron damn him, but he was trying. She was so fucking beautiful it was messing with him, and so utterly oblivious that Azriel wanted to tell her. 

He walked over to her which felt like a massive mistake given the way his body was reacting. The urge to pick her up and put her in his bed—to keep her there, guarding her jealously until no one ever spoke her name again without his permission—reared its ugly head. He had to fist his hands at his sides to keep from touching her.

“It’s done?” he asked, grateful he at least sounded normal. The Mother above knew he didn’t feel like it. 

“Yes,” Gwyn said, looking up at him with no awareness of just how close they were. How he could have reached for her face and kissed her, if he’d wanted.

And he did.

So fucking badly it made his teeth ache. “It took me a little while because I accidentally confused th for ch, but I think I have it, now. I tried translating a page—it’s just the author's note, so nothing exciting, and it makes sense. Look, it reads, To Aurelia, my beloved. Gone too soon, but never forgotten in this life, and every life that comes after.”

“Nice,” he said, heart pounding in his throat. “Who is Aurelia?”

Gwyn only shrugged. “I have no idea. Maybe no one important. What matters is we know what he said! Isn’t that exciting?”

“So you can translate the entire book?”

“And every other book in the city library. Their priests let me flip through them because they don’t think I understand them. Azriel, there is so much we could learn, now. Things we’ve never understood about our creation, about the world before Gwydion…” Her sparkling eyes tempered some of his lust, though only barely. 

“You’ll buy me time, won’t you?” she asked. It was so nice not to be on the receiving end of her ire that Azriel nodded his head. He would have stabbed himself in the stomach right then and there if she’d looked up at him with that hopeful expression.

Pink, parted lips erupted in a truly beautiful smile and Azriel was utterly ruined. He didn’t know what to do, staring down at her like she was the first female he’d ever laid eyes on. “Yes.” He felt stupid, because he felt like he should say more. 

She didn’t even notice, stepping around him with the paper clutched to her chest which he absolutely wasn’t staring at. “If I can do this, Az, I…”

He waited, but Gwyn seemed to realize who she was talking to. Some of the light winked out of her expression as she turned to look back at him, guard up. Don’t do that, he wanted to beg, but once again the words wouldn’t come out. Don’t shut me out. 

“Well. I should probably start.”

Azriel only nodded, watching as she slipped back into her bedroom. The door clicked shut quietly just as his last unoccupied shadow danced after her, whispering words of soft encouragement. 

Merrill fired her.

Had she told him that? Wracking his brain, Azriel could find no memory of that information. He supposed that explained her single-minded determination to find something in Montessere, and her frustration when Azriel had suggested she make it more widely available. If the High Lord took over her cypher, what did she have? 

Nothing.

“Fuck,” he whispered, feeling like an asshole. “Fuck.”

Not that there was anything he could do from here—or Velaris, truthfully. It wasn’t as if he could march into the library and demand Merrill treat Gwyn better. Not if he didn’t want Rhysand to hand his ass to him, at any rate. That space was sacred, and he was a guest that could be removed at any time, for any reason.

She wanted time? Azriel could give her that, at least. He still had his mystery and truth be told, he hadn’t been working too terribly hard on unraveling it. Maybe, he reasoned, it was time to try a little harder. Push Kai a bit, wander over to Rask and Vallahalla so his shadows could spend a week living in the rafters listening to every private conversation their monarchs didn’t want people to know.

That would all take him time. And after that, well…Azriel considered himself quite skilled at turning relatively normal circumstances into disaster if necessary.

Resolved, he went to Gwyn’s door and knocked softly.

“Come in,” she called.

His brain short circuited at the sight of her face down on the bed, propped on her elbows with her cypher and a book spread in front of her. Strands of coppery brown hair fell over her shoulders and down her back, while her breasts were just smushed enough he could imagine how they’d look pressed against his chest. 

“I’m going to be gone for a few days,” he told her, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed against his chest. “Buying you time. Keep out of trouble…and practice your wrist work. I’ll be expecting a challenge when I return.”

Gwyn rolled her eyes, but asked, “Where are you going?”

He hesitated. It was probably better she didn’t know, just in case. “I’ll be back by the end of the week.”

“You’ll be safe, at least?” she asked him. Azriel sucked in a soft breath.

“Yes.”

“I can’t challenge you if you’re dead, you know.”

He couldn’t help his smile, though he tried to bite it back. “I won’t disappoint you.”

She turned back to her book. “See that you don’t, shadowsinger.”

“Dream of me while I’m gone,” he added, unable to help himself. Gwyn looked up sharply just in time for Azriel to drag his hand down his bare chest, stopping just at the waistband of his pants. “And if you find yourself missing me terribly, go ahead and make a mess of my bedsheets, too.”

“You’re disgusting,” she said, cheeks stained red. He could scent her interest, though, underneath her ladylike outrage. 

“You have no idea,” he promised, turning on a high note. 

If nothing else, the thought of her fucking herself in his bed would get him through the next few days.

You’ll be safe?

Azriel tucked those words deep into his chest, letting them live where only he could hear them.

He was starting to believe he'd do anything she asked.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

First, I must inquire, what do you think are tan's and lem's real names? 

Now imagine this, his wife having really good acting skills, enough to convince everyone that she's just a terrified civilian looking for help, keeping her act up until she gathers intel from them. Feel like lem would also be so proud of her.

Tan prefers calling you, but when he can't, he'll either send the softest messages or fast typed ones with tons of spelling mistakes "My pretty girl, you're going to be the death of me." responding to the selfie you just send, "Thsi fycking twat jsut ruined m y dress shrit!". But imagine a group chat with these two. Lem and I share the same braincell so we'll disscus the silliest stuff and he'll just butt in to say "will you two please think before typing on this group chat"

Childhood friends to lovers with tan? He'll protect you even if it means he'll get an ugly wound, but it's ok because you'd always patch him up and give him an earful. It doesn't take long for lem to figure it out and pushes him to confess. And he'll be so cute too "How 'bout I take you to dinner after? " "Ask me again when you're not bleeding from your stomach." You two end up eating at home because you only just started taking missions and can't afford a 5 star restaurant. Speaking of protecting, when he finds out your carring his child, he won't let you take any missions. "They're having a baby?" asks a confused ladybug, "I'd be more surprised if they didn't." is all lem can say before he notices his brothers stare.

It's not a secret he has a big mouth, what if his girl matches that but in a more, classy way? "I'm sorry sir but I must inquire, what's with your illiterate way of thinking?" and he butts in "She means why are you so fucking dumb." All while proudly smiling.

I'm going to finish this with the most heartbreaking angst. Instead of Tan finding Lem "dead", they both survive but his wife dies. They're a trio but split up to look for the briefcase. The twins somehow get the it back and decide to put it on red so now they're looking for her all over the empty train. They finally find her and all he can do is stare at her before droping to his knees, bringing her close to him. It hits him like a train so he breaks down, screaming and crying as he hugs her. Lem somehow finds the power in himself to place the Edward sticker in her palm.

Phew, sorry this was a lot, if anything else comes to mind I'll saved it for later so that like you said, you're not spamming people's dash. Sorry for any spelling mistakes (you know who to blame). It means a lot that I get to share my ideas with you and your followers. Anyway, going to rewatch Bullet Train tonight, can't believe it's already been a year since I've first seen it on the big screen. Kisses, 💺 anon.

hii, sooo…

1. that question has been picking at my brain for a year!!! I genuinely cannot think of what they’re called, I wanted to make a post and ask everyone a while back, but if anyone has any thoughts or ideas for their names please PLEASE comment them, im dying to know. something british/ criminally english that’s all I know😭 ironically, I feel aaron suits

2. ughhh I love that!?! he’d be super proud, silently cheering her along. like a subtle nod or quick wink

3. the spelling mistakes aaahhh love that!!? also feel like the 3 typing dots would be there for ever, like he’s replying then doing something assassiny then typing again, and it’ll all be mumble jumble. he’d get annoyed at the two of you messaging eachother in the group chat but I feel he secretly loves it. also think he has trouble talking sometimes, so he likes to have the social aspect without it being awkward for him (if that makes sense) ardgsh and he’s such a flatterer I just know it!! sweet girl, pretty girl… MY SWEET GIRL!?! MY PRETTY GIRL🫠

4. love it!! and the element of being besties and knowing everything. omg imagine you go on dates with other guys (before liking liking tan) and he’s always really jealous but he hides it bc he wants you to be happy etc, but he maybe kinda sabotages it so he can have you all to himself heehe. he definitely reacts before thinking, especially if you were involved (and got hurt) super caring cute sweet innocent kinda guy, right? completely innocent bbg

5. “why are you so fucking dumb?” HAHAHAHA love it!! but yes!!! he’s got that cockney ‘charm’ so he gets right to the point. and I love that she matches his vibe (but just in a more feminine classy, femme fatale way)

6. that is heartbreaking!?! why would you write that🥲🥲🥲🥲 im just kidding, but that is a horribly sad idea

7. you’re very sweet!! and tysm for sharing your ideas!! and yes, if you have more, send em over. heheh guessing your hamster😭 ive been wanting to rewatch it for ages, I just need to do it bc I miss it lol. that year has gone quick omg?!

-

hope everything I said makes sense😭 apologies if it doesn’t

[hargrove]

「 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I resurrected this blog at the end of 2023, but in these few months, this dash has given me more happiness than I could have imagined. honestly, I came back as a means of escape when I had a major loss in my family and just didn't want to deal with irl. and y'all have been so welcoming and so amazing, that I want to take this moment to hurl my love right in your faces!

@havvkinsqueen ➠ Victoria!!! I was so excited to learn that you were still bombing around on the dash since I last left. your heather was always a treat, but your Chrissy is such a delight and I'm so stoked to have her in Billy's life. you are an absolute gem, a POWERHOUSE of kindness and positivity. you exemplify everything the rp community should be. I type this wearing the bracelet you made for me, it gives me so much good vibes. I really am serious about running around in cosplay at a con with you this coming year. it'll be rad as hell! here's to a whole new year of crazy rp and irl shenanigans!

@zoomingupthathill ➠ I cannot describe the sheer joy I feel every time you're on my dash, Bee. from waaaaay back when I was writing Klaus and you were Katherine, to now in the ST fandom, you always leave me in awe. the love you have for your own muses is infectious and in turn, makes me love them and want the best for them. you know I don't really do exclusives, but I always considered your Max and my Billy a packaged deal. whatever your Max is going through, she can always count on my Billy to have her back. likewise, I am always there for you. you're an amazing talent and an even better friend. I look forward to a whole new year of sibling craziness, as well as other muse stuff. and good lord, CAN WE GET THIS GIRL A LUCAS??? (I'm trying my best to work on it, I am lol).

@thebabysittertm ➠ dude. friendo. bruh. stark. I don't even know where to begin. my favorite kind of rp is the slow burn stuff filled with lots of character development and headcanons and background stuff, etc. it's basically the hardest thing to find but somehow from the moment we started talking, it all just clicked. the details and thought you put into all of your muses is astounding. I adore the thought process you have in your muses' reasoning behind things. and your writing is out of this world! I feel so lucky that I get to bounce hc's and au's off you all day. all of our ideas and stuff makes me so excited and has fueled me to jump back into this hobby only 10 times harder. all your talent aside, you also an incredible friend who I'm so stoked to talk to every day. here's to a 2024 filled with our two idiots!

@malka-lisitsa ➠ how do I even begin to compliment the sheer amount of talent that exudes from you, November?? from muse development, to writing, to graphics, to server maintaining, to... I don't even know what else! seems like you can do it all! I can't lie, when I initially came back to the dash, I was shying away from any and all cross overs because I have so much anxiety in this community and wanted to keep my corner of the world super small. but your Katherine broke through and I'm so glad she did. I love how you took a character that so many people (even the freaking writers of the show!) wrote off as 2 dimensional and you give her life! layers! meaning! she never feels like a self insert style oc, but she feels so much more well rounded than any version we saw on the show. it's honestly admirable the amount of work you've put in. I'm so lucky to count myself as one of your rp partners and I can't wait to see where Billy and Kat will take us in 2024.

I unfortunately don't have the time to write a seperate message to all of the people on my dash, but I still want to tag people that bring me joy every time I see your urls. all of the following has made the past few months (that should have been dark and awful) feel bright and full of hope. I appreciate every single one of you. ➠

@vitaegratis

@edhellfire

@vcnusians

@scarednotscary

@pierprincess / @nancewheelr

@hangtenn

@calistayed

@asiphon

@nexusvcrti

@multi-royalty

@helltothefire

@mhunster

and of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't list my ride or die. the people who make tumblr rp the amazing place that it is, and people that I will cherish always, whether we're writing together or not. y'all are stuck with me! ➠ @seesgood @breakthings @mysharxna 」

[neonscandal]

So, if you asked to write your top 5 fav characters each from JJK & BNHA, what genre will you put them (or you agree that they should be in shounen)....

My asks are getting funnier. 🥰 As always, thanks for asking, lets dig in.

Look at these knuckleheads.

JJK Top 5

I've seen people make really funny observations about how every character in JJK belongs in a different universe but was shoehorned into a horror battle shonen and it delights me to no end. I'm not sure if Gege Akutami actually penned characters that are typical of other anime genres, in a sense, but do believe we all collectively just want our faves to have better odds of survival. At this point, Gege looks at fan polls like a dead pool. I think a story where characters are so obviously not meant to be there would be hilarious if done intentionally, camp even.

Satoru Gojo - The duality of a man who is "The Strongest" in universe while maintaining a girly pop facade to circumvent feeling othered by his strength? Two of my favorite things about Gojo are that he is 1) traumatized 🤪✨ and 2) down astronomically for the days he spent with Suguru Geto. Put this man in a shonen ai, stat.

Nobara Kugisaki and Maki Zenin - Yuri. I feel like I don't need to explain myself here except to say that I put them as one item on the list because I didn't want a list of 6 (I have so many faves). Both iconic, both bad ass. No notes. On the other hand, I would never want to rob Maki of her revenge story so... grain of salt if she stays in universe.

Kento Nanami - I was going to say "this man wants to be in an office sitcom so bad" but, truthfully, would not find the overdone gags and antics palatable. Nanami deserves to rest at an even, dulcet tempo. Traumatized in his youth, he really only returns to jujutsu because office work is unfulfilling but imagine if he were in an office shojo with a found family that he had to provide for? I'm not saying this anime is particularly good but plop him in something cozy like "The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague" but with the home life of "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid". He'll work for the money because it provides for someone else, you know? Let him suffer fools in peace.

Yuji Itadori - Sweet baby angel. Yuji follows the "best of both worlds" phenomenon that we see in other horror anime like Chainsaw Man, Tokyo Ghoul and Attack on Titan wherein he is both human and curse (avoiding further spoilers). But his disposition, his resilience, his pure physical prowess before he ever ate Sukuna's finger? Put this boy in a sports anime and let him thrive. While he'd absolutely body in a fighting sport, what if he was plopped into "Blue Lock"? Sports anime with a dash of horror aesthetic. He'd crush while being as upbeat and hilariously chaotic as Bachira.

Suguru Geto - Baby Girl is one of the most compelling villains we have. I'd say across multiple anime, honestly. He's what happens when a good person, someone who aims to be so morally upright, is faced with the reality that being good actually guarantees you nothing. With someone so unwavering, someone who can't live in shades of grey like Gojo, he can't bend. So he breaks. Honestly, it adds a layer of complexity to the overall story where... can we really, as the viewer, fault him? I feel like he wouldn't have this evolution anywhere else and that there's something to be said as to whether Geto was always doomed by the narrative.

There's never not been a good time to celebrate this frame, honestly.

BNHA Top 5

What's cool about BNHA is, it is authentically a shonen manga/anime while subverting a lot of it's tropes. BUT, we see this really interesting progression in the art that drifts into horror. Not aiming to spoil anything that's to come in season 7 (body horror, it's body horror. Bones better come through) but you see the beginning of it with the change in vigilante Deku's appearance. If Horikoshi felt inclined to do a horror anime post-BNHA, I'd definitely read.

Katsuki Bakugo - Hilariously, Bakugo wants to shonen so bad but is actually so damsel in distress/love interest coded that it almost undermines his role as Midoriya's rival. Almost. Shonen, shonen ai, I don't think he's out of place in either.

Shoto Todoroki - Todoroki's entire personality and character arc being so intrinsically linked to his family is honestly so amusing given the universe. Like, people have real life superhero powers but awful parents are very much still a thing. So it's interesting to expose the complexity of their family dynamics in tandem with the overarching story because, in every way, the Todoroki family are very much members of the Have's of BNHA society but they are still hopelessly miserable. TBH he could be in a slice of life just experiencing and resolving family trauma. "Kotaro Lives Alone" comes to mind.

Shouta Aizawa - I would cast Aizawa in "Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan" but he wouldn't have the decency to show up to work without a sleeping bag. I'm not saying it wouldn't look out of place in universe but do better for the kids. Joking. He's honestly both the perfect teacher but also a big ole hypocrite. He condemns Midoriya for his recklessness and self-sacrificing (re: breaking bones to use his quirk) but didn't think twice about hacking off his own leg, logical though it may have been. I know All Might is cast as the quintessential mentor in the shonen dynamic but Aizawa is the real MVP when it comes to mentoring and guiding the Class 1A competently. Shonen all the way.

Izuku Midoriya - I can't say Magical Girl Anime, I can't say Magical Girl anime. I appreciate Midoriya's similarity to eponymous crybaby hero Sailor Moon, tbh. She too was OP and with the fate of the world on her shoulders, just saying. He falls in line with the shonen trope of eating something and powering up (re: JJK, One Piece, Attack on Titan) but has emotional range that is not typically seen in shonen which, honestly I love. He is masculine while still being aggressively expressive (even if he struggles to articulate his feelings). His character and subsequent development is another way that Horikoshi subverts shonen tropes and I can't wait to see how his story wraps up.

Dabi - This crispy piece of bacon is a walking, talking and dancing personification of resolute rage. He is quite literally a vendetta held together by staples. Later chapters especially, he just gets unrelentingly grosser and more unhinged and it's both disgusting and emotional. To be honest, between him and Shigaraki, they are undeniably horror fodder by design. In fact, the reveal that he was a little misogynistic extremist radical was particularly wild of Horikoshi. Like, basically if he hadn't self destructed on that mountain he'd have been some incel plotting violence on the deep dark web? I'm trying to think of what to plop him into (maybe not his charred body but just his general... maliciousness, conviction and extremism). I feel like something horror, psychological with a sprinkle of thriller? What comes to mind is a dark series on my TBR but the name escapes me about a kid getting revenge one by one against sadistic bullies though its unclear where Dabi falls on that spectrum.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

who knows, maybe i'm a glutton for lengthy written pieces of fiction but i can't imagine anything better than reading a thought-out, detailed and intriguing story.

20k-30k wc usually takes me around 2 hours to read (when i am not annotating on the side or running laps in my room to calm down from a scene) and even though i do love me some drabbles, imagines or scenarios - sometimes they're so great but oh so short that i end up feeling hungry for more lol.

idk. maybe there is some over-consumption or fast-media issue that's infiltrated even the fanfic community and readers feel less overwhelmed reading fics under 10k? apprehension giving bad/wrong feedback? author burn-out? somebody go ahead and open the field for research already.

there is an overwhelming amount of short fics daily on my dash and not so often bigger oneshots or even series but i've always assumed it's because they take so much more time and effort into creating - which then motivates me more to leave nice feedback when you authors work so hard on them :) vice versa it's a nice feeling when authors take time to acknowledge feedback

like you saying you look forward to my reblogs and i'm over here like.. i have been noticed 👁️👄👁️ and i am being relied on to lose my own mind over your amazing mind. i can't disappoint this co-dependant author-reader-ship 💪 /j

also, miss "yumi in her break era" only five days ago, once again offering to write a fic to my tastes?! you will be the death of me. hand in marriage right now 🤝 /j but also, new series.. ? ✍️👀

○ chron 🃏

lucky for you, i'm physically incapable of writing short fics and loren is an actual witness. whenever i start a fic and go 'yo this actually be short like under 20k) it usually ends up being 26k+ 🤡 and tbh for me personally nothing can top a well-planned detailed fic no matter the length of it!

you're right! there's only so much you can do in a short scenario/imagine/drabble they're like fun little treats, kind of like appetisers/snacks as opposed to lengthy oneshots which i feel like are a full multiple-course meal (and then we have series which are like a whole buffet banquet feast you name it)

yeah there are a lot of factors. even as a writer i know that i prefer reading sth short when i don't have much time to spare but want a little break. reading lengthier works require a lot of time (like you said, about 2 hrs) and you gotta be in the mood all cosy and relaxed to fully enjoy them!

there's def so many shorter works being produced in huge quantities and consumed very rapidly too. writing them takes less time, you don't gotta work out so many details and lose your mind in the process (from my experience writing the few hcs and drabbles i have) and it's... fun? gets a greater audience, more notes? definitely. there are literally so many factors as to why people prefer writing/reading scenarios/drabbles over the lengthier works and i could honestly list them all but i feel like not everyone wants to hear that 💀

personally, i've been pretty consistent with writing the lengthier works, inspired by ppl here who've written so much such excellent monster works AHAHA and since the lengthier fics culture is pretty much dying (let's face it on tumblr it is dying slowly but steadily) i'm devoted to continue contributing to that specific part of the atinyfic community. i could always cook up some short scenarios (i plan to when it's time to retire but i still have ideas that i wanted to write) but for now, we write and write. we write endlessly without a care for the word count :')

there's honestly nothing wrong with wanting to read or write shorter works. i just wish the people who work so hard to create such beautiful and lengthy masterpieces got the attention they deserve. and i wish they do not compare their works to drabbles/scenarios (which you might have observed get a lot of notes in a very short amount of time) and continue writing for themselves and for the readers who appreciate them :')) we're always so incredibly grateful for the feedback we get bc we get some great quality feedback which is our pride :D

you have been very much noticed! me and loren were actually talking not too long ago about how you are one of the few ppl whose reblog we anticipate eagerly ahaha you've spoilt us honestly :') and when i saw your reblog last night (i was feeling incredibly low) i just smiled with tears in my eyes LOL ngl (co-dependency atp fr fr)

miss yumi has always been a clown who goes back on her words esp when it's about taking a break (i actually will be taking a two week break soon like actual break bc i'll be travelling so i'll be back mid aug) but miss yumi also loves writing bc it's the only interesting thing going on in her life and she would love to write for you too (proposal accepted let's pick dresses now :D)

as for the new series... 👀 the current word count is about 70k and i'm not even halfway- this might be the most intricate worldbuilding i've ever done like with the characters and how they're connected to each other (on par with take me home series, might even surpass) and it's... mafia! but the different kind, uniquely yumi LOL and the pairing hmm will remain a secret (take your guess come on)

i look forward to posting it so much it's become my comfort fic. i'll try to start posting it before 2024 but no promises yet bc i wanna finish writing it (or at least nearly finish) before i post the masterlist or teasers.

[warmerthanhotcoco]

Part 2: The Badger Boyfriend

Summary: You are being hunted by the worst of the Hogwarts bullies. Rosier and Bullstrode are tired of having to put up with you being a Slytherin. Peverell and his Quidditch team are sick of your very existence.

Who better to save the day and comfort you than your amazing Spider-web Weaver boyfriend?

A/N: I use "their" pronouns here when required. Y/N could be considered gender-neutral for both chapters, coz who says a guy or non-binary can't wear a pretty lace gown? 💚

Part 2/2 to "I can protect you now"

“Rosier, Bullstrode, ‘evening!” The Slytherins greeted.

Rosier and Bullstrode waved back to them as they dragged you down the stairs toward the Slytherin dungeons. You had just reached the bottom of the stairs when a head popped around the wall by the top of the staircase and shouted “Hey, y/l/n! Professor Dumbledore sent for you!”

You pushed your feet against the stone floor, forcing both yourself and the two bullies humiliating you to a stop. You waited patiently to see what the seventh-years would do: they spun around to face the Hufflepuff Head Boy, dragging you around with them. 

“Say what now?” Rosier rose an eyebrow suspiciously. “Dumbledore sent for the git?”

“Haha, detention?” Bullstrode smirked. “Or has little y/n finally managed to fail Defence class?”

The Head Prefect visibly grit his teeth. “No, I doubt y/l/n’s capable of failing any class, she happens to have brains, something some people don’t.” Whoever said Hufflepuffs were known for their patience had a wild imagination, really. “Y/l/n, come on upstairs, Professor’s waiting.” With that, the Head Boy scampered out of sight.

The pair of Slytherin bullies grumbled under their breaths, shoving you away from them before stomping into the common room. With a huge sigh of relief you sprinted up the stairs, vowing to send the young DADA professor loads of Chocolate Frogs for Christmas. What could he want to see you for, though? Had you done the assignment wrong? There was absolutely no way—

“Hey.”

You jumped out of your reverie, a happy smile blooming across your face at the sight of the familiar mop of red-brown hair. “Well hello there, Newt. What are you doing here so close to Slytherin Tower?” By now you had climbed up the stairs and reached the main hallway. It was still unlike him to want to get this close to anywhere near Slytherin Tower…

“Oh- erm- I w-wanted to see you.”

You blinked. It took a few seconds for the information to process. “So Dumbledore didn’t send for me, huh? It was just the amazingly kind Head Boy helping my boyfriend."

“A-And helping you get away from… them,” he pointed out.

“Right. Bless him for that. What do you suggest I get him as a gift for Christmas as a ‘thank you’?”

Newt seriously pondered the question for a moment, while taking your hand in his and guiding you up the hallways. “He likes muggle clothes. Finds them interesting.” He answered smoothly: Newt spoke best when not self-conscious. “Likes the blue and brown suits I have.”

“Which you always look dashing in,” you complimented, pecking his cheek. You chuckled at the way he crimsoned. “Hm, I’ll get him a dark blue blazer then.”

Newt nodded his approval, subtly pulling you closer when a few meaner Gryffindors walked by.

“Newt, can I ask something?”

“Anything.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“…Forest?”

“Mhm, and why?”

“To show you. I p-practised.” He wiggled his fingers as a silent reminder of what he was talking about. You bobbed your head in response, smiling when you remembered your boyfriend was no longer a regular human wizard now. 

He never was from the start. He had always been special, in the best way.

“And I’m proud of you for that, love. Can’t wait to watch you play the otherworldly hero! Wizard criminals beware: powerful, mysterious, masked hero on the loose! He kills with his bare hands, trapping villains in cobwebs with his mighty skill! He—“

“OI! Y/N! STOP RIGHT THERE!” 

“Well well, if it isn’t Newt sodding Scamander.”

Bullstrode? Rosier? AGAIN? What now— Oh, they probably found out the Head Boy’s hoax.

Newt grabbed your hand and sprinted down the corridor, up a few of the moving stairs. The staircases shifted just in time, separating the two bullies from you two. They were seconds away from catching up: you ran faster and faster, pulling Newt along until you reached the one corridor that had the perfect unseen alcove.

Clearly Newt remembered it too.

He picked up pace, pulling you closer and sprinting faster. He raised his wand and pointed it to the ground, shouting out a confusion charm. A speck of gold exploded into a cloud of sparkling yellow dust, quickly growing into a wide barrier.

In less than three seconds your back was flat against the cold stone wall. Newt was squished tight against your chest: the alcove was very small. Not that you minded of course… what more could you ask for?

You ducked your head, turning away from Newt’s panting face to face the exit. You watched, silently chortling, as the older Slytherins stumbled through the yellow smoke, walked out of it spluttering and coughing, and ran straight ahead, dark wands aimlessly tossing spells back and forth.

You didn’t dare utter a word until you were certain they had disappeared around the corner. “Phew. That was close,” you whispered.

You didn’t know why you were whispering: it felt odd to speak out loud in such a calm and secretive place. Besides, the atmosphere felt… tense as it was.

You turned your head back to face your boyfriend, wondering why he was silent. “Newt?”

Newt stood there, pressing his back against the opposite wall to create as much space as possible. His face was scarlet, the blood rushing to his cheeks plenty obvious. His hands were glued to the wall on either side of your head. His usually tender eyes were on fire.

Newton Scamander wasn’t the type to pin his lover to a wall regularly, if at all. But right at this moment, it was clear he wouldn’t mind doing this more often after all.

“N… Newt?”

“Hm? Oh, s-sorry,” he smiled, lowering his head, tearing his burning gaze away from yours to check the surroundings.

“They’re gone.”

“But there’s more.”

“Huh?” You tried to duck under his arms to peek outside, but he pulled you back into the darkness. “What is it?”

“Don’t. They’re coming.”

As if on cue, footsteps began thundering across the floors of the school. Solid and heavy, rushed like they were busy people. Just a little light-footed. These were definitely not Rosier and Bullstrode.

The Gryffindor Quidditch Team. It was easy for you to recognise them just from their light-hearted, hurried footsteps.

Oh for Merlin’s sake, what are they doing here?!

“Where did Rosier say the brat went again?”

“Somewhere down this hallway. With the pathetic badger boyfriend.”

“Ah, traces of hexes. They’ve fought.”

“I sense a Confundus Charm lingering, Peverell. We should hurry and get out of here.”

“Scared of a little snake and their stuttering ba-ba-ba-badger, mate?” the Gryffindor Captain mocked.

You felt your hand on Newt’s shirt curling into a fist, longing to shoot a beautiful little hex at Peverell. Making fun of you was one thing… insulting your boy was another.

A warm hand slipped off the wall to your right, and gently patted your fist. A signal. You looked up to find him smiling back: his eyes gleamed with mischief.

Ah, yes, the side of Newt nobody else got to see. The ridiculously cheeky prick in him.

You grinned back and nodded once, cheering him on. That was all he needed. He pushed himself off the wall and shuffled closer to the doorway. Careful not to get caught, he let out his little Bowtruckle to crawl along the wall outside. After a minute and a half, the little friend returned to his open palm and pointed the exact direction the group of Gryffindors had stopped to inspect some spell-traces. “Thank you,” he mouthed, before raising his right hand. He flexed the joints, tested his wrist, aimed… and shot.

You hardly saw the string of silver that darted from beneath his sleeve, shooting towards the group like an arrow. The string of web touched the first muscular back and popped open like an umbrella, spreading its wings, wrapping all four Gryffindors present in a beautiful white cocoon. Right when the screams started mid-wrapping, you swung your wand at each of them from behind Newt’s protective frame, silencing every last one. The web then proceeded to happily wrap around their mouths as well, sealing them shut.

Perfect. “Mission accomplished.”

“Good job,” Newt complimented with a gentle, proud smile.

“You too, O Wonderful Spider-web Weaver,” you smiled back. You pulled him into a hug, wrapping your arms around his waist and back firmly. What passed today may seem like one of many minor incidents but to you, it meant the world. “You helped save me from another day of wishing they would end me already,” you thought to yourself, burying your face in his warmth. “Thank you,” you whispered out loud.

He humbly nodded, squeezing you back.

“Happy you can protect me now?” You chuckled, quoting him from a few weeks ago.

“Mhm.” His chest heaved, a silent sigh puffing out of his lips.

“Guess we don’t need to go to the Forest to see your training now…”

“…Mhm.”

“Hey Newt?”

“Hm?”

“Could we, maybe, stay in here a bit longer?”

He buried his toothy grin in your messy hair. “Mhm.”

This marks the end of this short Spidey-Newt fic! Thank you for reading, pretties <3

[lottiecrabie]

As a recent lottiecrabie enthusiast and longtime feral consumer of a certain M Healy related writings, I saw something about a tutor!au. Here are my dreadful, frankly illegal thoughts. Do whatever you will with them, Lady Lottie. Your works kill me in the sweetest, sexiest way and resuscitate me harshly back to life.

1. You're a maths student , year two in the university. He's the newly joined English TA that's been developing a bit of a reputation for his longwinded rants in class and his unconventional assignments.

2. Like what the fuck is "Write about being an influencer in a dystopian world where you have to sell a graffiti eraser for VR devices after artists are actively vandalising the metaverse"

3. Anyway, hallway whispers about how attractive he is find their way to you but you're wholly unconvinced because pfft, really now, this is a cliche. One drunken evening at the local bar and you're jostling shoulders, he's ordering a long island iced tea just because and eyeing your whiskey on the rocks. He's really as pretentious as you thought he was - a dark mop of curly hair, crisp linen shirt and this dense, buttery jacket scented with menthol, marijuana and bergamot. He has a delicious rasp, holding court with his little circle of friends about how fullstops have come to mean something completely different when people text each other in the present day. There's not much you think of it - except one night after you break things off for good with your boyfriend who asks if you've come five minutes. into sex.

4. That night, you find yourself wondering if his neatly filed nails would leave red crescent commas on your skin, if your moans would be the em dashes between his consecutive thrusts. You imagine him seeing you at work, chalkboards filled with a haze of numbers and letters, you're arguing about why pure math PhDs and English PhDs are really two sides of the same coin, languages to explore the textures of the world.

5. You realise you're irrevocably fucked.

The annual debate between your college and the rival one is announced and you want to take part, as you always do, except this time it's a whole series of complex themes that require you to be assisted by someone else. Guess who you're assigned as your mentor.

6. You can't think straight, but you want to impress him so much. He's pretty much unfazed - logically unfolding his stances like an origami blossom. His mind entices and frustrates you : how can you possibly read Shakespeare today and a bunch of e-girl tweets the next and use both of these in your speeches?! Good lord. The longer you resist the urges, the worse they become. He dances in circles around you. Sleepless nights. Scattered sheets and unfinished drafts. Smoke breaks across the campus. Joints rolled with thin paper you bum from the art department, you sit blowing plumes at each other one orange afternoon. He reveals himself in delicate slices - a flash of a tattoo on his taut abdomen, soft voiced calls to his mother, Heroin by Velvet Underground playing from his tinny earphones.

7. He's dissatisfied - there's some verve and rawness that's missing from your stage presence. you're not emoting enough. He jokingly wonders what the cause might be - the lack of sleep, or the lack of sleeping together? Wait, you haven't had sex in months? There it is.

8. He says that sex sells. In order to convince the audience, you need to have seduce them with your mind.

Prove it, you say.

9. He finds May I Feel by e.e cummings and decides to walk around you as you take turns to recite it. By the fifth line, you've had enough. His knees are behind to yours, his skin branding into your stockings. He places his fucking mouth close, so close to your ear - warm enough to entice you with the possibility of a kiss, but instead he takes it away just as swiftly.

10. "let's go said he

not too far said she

what's too far said he

where you are said she" (side note - I recommend listening to the Tom Hiddleston version of the poem!)

You laugh, because it's so bitterly on the nose. He wonders aloud if he's really too far - too far away from you, that is.

His first kiss is like a wine tasting. He sips and nibbles your lips, sweetly parting it with his inquiring tongue. His fingers snake across your body, a low laugh caught in his throat when his hands brush your guilty nipples. Dilated pupils, and filthy promises. His kisses are poisonous, intoxicating.

11. Rutting mindlessly over his desk. Panting, whining in back seat of your car. Wet kisses in a darkened theatre. Hand jobs in the library, leaving the both of you a shivering mess. He is relentless, rendering you feverish for more. He refuses to have sex until he's satisfied his desire to explore you enough.

12. You try to take matters into your own hands and dress in a tiny skirt, with the smallest scrap of lace covering your soaking cunt. You end up over his lap, his handprints still warm on your back.

13. He worships you. He spits in your mouth. He ties your hands to the bedframe. He calls you sweetheart, baby, my darling. He doesn't stop edging you. He makes you read poems and eats you out, with the threat of stopping if you stutter even a little. He makes you think, he makes you dream, he makes you laugh.

14. You don't care about the debate anymore.

oh my god this was so lovely!! love when u guys leave me blurbs like this to read i feel like I’m the one getting bedtime stories for change. you have such a vivid and imagery way of writing it’s so beautiful. the prose is so delicate and effective; i can so clearly Feel and See the moment. i especially love ‘his first kiss is like a wine tasting’ and ‘you sit blowing plumes at each other one orange afternoon’. get on tumblr mama start writing there’ll be a spot opening up soon✊

although this is a lot more professor!matty than tutor!au🕺 (the tutor!au staples are weird loser virgin nerd with cool popular bitchy experienced girl) you actually kinda knocked it out of the park for professor like yeah that guy is making her read poetry while eating her out. yes ofc they’re making out on his desk. well yeah he’s debating you and only getting you more worked up for him

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls: S3/EP4/One's Got Class The Other One Dyes

Episode titles with 6 or more words (the first four seasons): Season 1: The Lorelais First Day At Chilton, Star Crossed Lovers And Other Strangers Season 2: Red Light on The Wedding NIght, Nick And Nora And Sid And Nancy

Season 3: One's Got Class The Other One Dyes Season 4: The Lorelais First Day At Yale, The Hobbit The Sofa and Digger Stiles, In The Clamor and The Clanger, Girls In Bikinis Boys Doing The Twist, Last Week Fights This Week Tights, Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospel (come on AmyShermanPalladino. Come on. She's just fucking with us with that one. She didn't envision a future where people like me would have to type that shit out). Anyway. This episode is a classic.

Let's have a look at what Jesstopher is reading...

That tracks. Lorelai: I think I'm in touch with the other side. Rory: Republicans? Ba dum tsssh.

What are we doing, naming things we see in the room? Dead cow, dead cow, non paying customer, non paying customer, old timey scale, the only business proprietor in America who purposely tries to drive away his own customers by insulting their selections from his own menu... Lorelai has been having premonitions about her own death. How does she know about the script for my Gilmore Girls horror movie trilogy titled "Blood In The Hollow"?

No, Lorelai will get a much more dignified slaughtering in BITH (at the hands of Rory? Luke? Jess? Her mother? Crusty? Possibly even DEAN, her jilted lover? The script is still in progress).

Now you're just naming all the hilarious ways I've imagined Dean's demise. TWWGG is chock full of "Dean Forrester should get eaten by a ____" , Most recently, it was a pair of T-Rexes. I may have suggested Death by Turtle before, I can’t recall. I do know that when he wore this sweater I said he looked like a turtle anus.

Stars Hollow has never once rocked and or rolled. Lane's got dreams of rock superstadorm. Not if AmyShermanPalladino has anything to do with it. Rory wraps her half eaten burger (The fakest fake burger I've ever seen) in a napkin (this is not a thing) and R&R leave Luke's without paying. INCOMING!

Lorelai's face. Lorelai mutters that Shane is a freak. Because why...? Sure, she doesn't have the best manners with all this barging through the door stuff, but you wanna talk about ettiquite, Miss Dine and Dash? So what makes her a freak? The girl has (horny, horny) needs and she knows how to get what she wants. Shane doesn't play silly games. On a random Tuesday at 6:17 pm, Shane thinks, "I want Jess Mariano's tongue in my mouth" And then she goes to the diner and gets that tongue in her mouth. That doesn't make her a freak, that makes her an example R&R should take after. Shane is a role model. Shane is Rock and Roll. Shane is a modern woman. Shane is a GOD DAMN HERO. SHANE IS SWAN FOOD (soon).

Nobody in the diner even blinks while this is happening.

There may not be any rock and roll in Stars Hollow, but there's certainly free porn, and Rory's going to grab a popcorn and watch the show.

"That was my intention, Uncle Luke"

Introducing for the first time, Zack Van Gerbig and Brian Fuller. I don't have any dog in this fight of "Which boyfriend was better for Lane". Well, maybe I do have a dog, but she's a sleepy bassett hound who can't be bothered to choose because anything that happens after season 4 (aka Lane's life trajectory after high school) doesn't affect me in the grand scheme of things. Alright let's briefly rate the members of Hep Alien: Zack: Lane's first sexual experience with Zack is a complete disaster. Zack enters into a teenage marriage with Lane, buys cheap off brand condoms and knocks her up with twins on their honeymoon, derailing her entire life and destroying her rock and roll dreams. (People on this show need to stop getting married right out of high school, for the love of all that is holy. And stop sleeping through Sex Ed! You live in a blue state where sex ed in school might actually be adequate and available! CHERISH IT). Zack is cuter than Dave. Zack is the lead singer, but I tend to crush on band members that are not the lead singers. Lead singers are trouble. That blond floppy hair is trouble. He looks like he might not shower that often. Dave: Dave didn't do any of those things. Dave definitely takes showers. Maybe too many showers + Impeccably clean, geeky clothes. Did you know Dave read the entire Bible in one night to impress Lane's mother? What a guy. He has curly hair which means he's a good guy. Got sucked up by the Male Gilmore Girls Character California Wormhole but unlike Jess and Max, She liked him so much she never spat him back out. Brian:

Lane gets a taste of the rampant sexism inherent in Rock and Roll when her suggestions for improving the band's sound are totally ignored by the men. Lane's paranoia about her mother is incredibly annoying and stifling to the other members of the band, and they almost walk out, and I'm not saying it's right to ignore her...I'm just saying, I understand.

In my gritty unrated Gilmore Girls spinoff with cursing and nudity and realism titled the Hollow no one would be shielded from perversion. At one point, Kirk apparently had a rock band called "The Kirk Gleason 5" who played covers of Queen songs and Mrs Kim put the kibosh on them.

The people of Hartford to the people of Stars Hollow: Please stop coming over here. There are other cities in Connecticut you can visit if you want to escape The Bubble. What about Stamford? We're full. Lane has to find a way to make it to band practice in Hartford 3 nights a week while still under the watchful eye of Mrs Kim. Rory and Lane try to brainstorm how she might get away with this Super Secret Band Thing, even though Lane has no money, no car, and no instrument.

A circa 2002 Karen (real name: Debbie), calling the Gilmores. Lorelai doesn't remember Debbie-Karen because Rory can only describe Karen-Debbie, the mother of a former classmate, as blond haired and average height. We find out Rory actually had another childhood friend of sorts besides Lane, Debbie-Karen's daughter Kathy. Rory would frequently go swimming at her house. Lorelai claims she can't remember any Stars Hollow Moms because they all look the same, except for Mrs.Kim and a woman with a glass eye. I guess that's Lorelai's way of saying Mrs Kim and Mrs Glass Eye are the only two minorities in Stars Hollow. That tracks. Lorelai doesn't even know Dean's mom? Things might get awkward when Lorelai and Dean have to write out their wedding invitations. Karen-Debbie: The PTA likes to ask prominent locals in business to talk to the students, you know, someone who knows about how much hard work it takes to run a business, and we thought of you. Bahahahaha. Lorelai, a hard worker. Don't make me laugh. Oh wait, I already did. I will laugh some more. Bahahahaha.

The Gilmore Girls California Wormhole is about to claim it's first female snack, Kathy. Things Googled While Watching GIlmore Girls We Owe You Nothing (first tried I Owe You Something because I couldn't see the cover), major cities in Connecticut, Brian's last name (it's Fuller)