#i can't even cry. I'm not sad. i am completely void of everything but the depression and anxiety i can never shake. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anothertawogsideblog · 1 year ago

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i was gonna add my replies in the tags but i feel like they wouldnt fit so im adding here so i hope u dont mind me replying to basically everything lol

also. OP. Thank you so much for this. I am so close to cryign tears of joy. This is amazing. I needed some rlly long rant about Rob djsjd

no really, i loved reading every line of this, it's great[:

1- "the last line haunts me, because in my head animatic, its something he's saying to reassure himself that he'll be okay. that he'll get out of this and still be himself. which,,, i'm sorry," please DO NOT DO THIS TO ME I TEARED UP SO FAST. and also yea. ur so right THAT FITS SO MUCH.

2- OH HSY i love this song it's kewl to see it here and yea that's smart it's fitting[:

3- IK THIS SONG I THOUGHT OF ROB TOO WHEN I HEARD THAT.

"and then seeing them ignoring him in favor of molly"

4- DANG IT OP UR SO SMART U ARE RIGHT ABOUT ALL OF THESE. LIKE. YEA. IT'S SO FITITJG TYSM FOR THIS PLAYLIST IM STEALING ALL THESE SONGS.

"i hc that his pre void self haunts him like a ghost, still undeniably there" real,,,,

5- HEL REAL also very kewl song i love it:3

6- "california isn't particurarly kind to the homeless" was that a reference or am i overthinking this. BUT YEA UR RLLY RIGHT AND IT'S ALSO RLLY SAD.

7- i can't copypaste but the entire wanting revenge part, the "he's never getting back what they took from him" and the last one. OP. YOURE SO RIGHT YOU GET HIM SM IM CRYING,,,,

8- by now, i don't even need to say that again, it is rlly fitting. it obv is BUT AYYY YOU MADE RESEARCH ON WHAT THE TAWOG TEAM SAID ABOUT ROB TOO! i thought i was the only lol, i watched every interview i could find and literally looked at Ben Bocquelet's entire twitter account lol and yea, Rob's arc def was planned on considering that ,according to his tweets, the same month The Nobody came out he already finished the script to The Disaster and by the time of The Ex IIRC he already had the finale planned out(which. surprised me but not that much u can kind of tell it was planned) OH and speaking of after 34 hours of research i did find one extra info. Ben did sorta confirm his post-void design was partially inspired by them having troubles with his s1 3d design and he also had a tweet where he said he loves him....i..have my doubts on that and also my bad i started rambling and completely forgot what i was originally talking about anyway

9- hey OP did i ever mention ur so right about everything. "i like to imagine Rob knows about stuff like that" REAL. also rhsjsh i feel like Rob would probably have listened to that song during The Nobody+dr wreckah era because.. come on... an angry traumatized middle schooler in 2015-2016 who didn't listen to wolf in sheep's clothing?

10- "rejection of the role and what the universe wants him to be" ,the watching the world knowing its not real part and the last part.........listen i know i said this 400 times but. you are literally so correct. about eveythign. i love ur plural-of-analysis .

11- LISTEN IK I SAID THANKS ALREADY BUT. THWNK YOU SO MUCH ESP FOR THIS SONG. I LOVE IT SM I THINK ITS MY FAV OUT OF THE PLAYLIST. IT'S SO REAL...

Also theyre not fitting to that speciric situation but i feel like some other lyrics also fit to him,,, like "was when i left the cave and swore i'd never go back" you can. probably figure out what the cave would be and yea the swore i'd never go back part makes sense cuz Rob clearly tried rlly hard and did everything he could not to get sent to the void again.

and also "I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition, 'til my fears come to fruition, I'm not scared" sorta made me think of The Future lol

12- "will things ever get better for him? Will things bet better for anyone?" "Imagine holding infite power in ur hands only to be sent back to the buzzing white hellscape everything terrible began?"

and come on i don't even need to say the rest is also really fitting imo it's just implied atp

13- OMG YEA THIS IS SO RELA ESP THE GUILT PART AND THE FACT TJAT HE'S THE ONLY WHO KNOWS OUCH,,, no but yea Rob went thru so much trauma just in those. like first he finds out he's fictional and none of this is real. then he gets his trauma replayed back to him. then he gets sent to the void...again. and then there's the guilt of everything...damn the writers do not hold back when it comes to Rob i swear

14- YES CRYING TOO....also ay another song ik that reminded me of Rob too! it was just the first part for me but yea i can see the rest[:

15- listened to the song. v nice. indeed fitting.

16- YES I HAVE LISTENED TO THE LYRICS. YEAH YOURE RIGHT THEY RLLY DO REMIND ME OF THE FUTURE,,,

17- HFJDSJHD YEA EXACTLY ESP THE APRT WHERE U SAID HE'S ANGRY BCUZ HE WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING GOOD BUT STILL GOT FUCKED OVER SOBBING RN

18- i like ur hc about him being the one to make these honeslty i feel it's either that or he got them from the awesome store,,no idea where he would get the money to buy those.

BUT YEA I NOTICED THE BACKPACK MISSING TOO THAT'D ACTUALLY BE RLLY KEWL...

also, btw which painting do u mean? my bad sorry lol but u mean the one Barbara did of him at the end right? if yes, then yea i doubt he'd know about it AND YEA THE OTHER 2 THINGS. UR SO RIGHT.

"the void is waiting for him" 1-REAL 2-SOBS the void is such an asshole istg and yes i will call the void an asshole despite it being a location because it is still a sentient being. that lil shit knows what it's doing. seriously whys the void like this . dude aren't you the universe itself why are u beefing with a child who literally just existed. like Gumball said in The Vegging why can't it sort out actual problems like poverty or world hunger

19-

that's it. that's my thoughts.

20- DGSJSH YEA THATS SUCH A GOOFY NAME i had the finale spoiled but i def think i would have realized it was Rob in 5 seconds. No one else would literally call themself Evil and say it's pronounced like eh-vol. come on. that's such a Rob thing. I can literally picture him writing that name down and being like "it's perfect no one will suspect a thing" and REAL!!!

21- YES I DO REMEMBER.....sobs please i am running out of sad reaction images....

22- the part where he doesn't know who he wants to be. "maybe once this is over he can finally choose for himself"

AND YES PLEASE LET ROB BE HAPPY!!!!

23- "no matter what he did, it all ended the same" YEA EXACTLY it breaks my heart sm...the fact that he literally had to pretend to be evil to survive for so long just to get sent back to the void...like it was all for nothing.......

and yea i do have a few songs in mind lemme know if it's okay for me to dm u(:

@anothertawogsideblog its been a while, but i still wanted to respond to this! first off, thank you for your compliment on this post, it really means a lot! second of all, yes! although whatever song you have to recommend, it might already be on here! (however if it isn't, dm me!! i have something for that ;3c)

i've actually been waiting for an opportunity to share this, so thank you so much!

this playlist follows Rob's character progression through the original series (wiiiith some gaps filled in ;3)

below the cut are my insane ramblings explanations of why i picked the songs on the playlist, where/how they fit into the timeline of events, aaand a couple of headcanons i have that were inspired by the songs :D i tried to be quick and concise and only talk about lines that REALLY stood out to me

WARNING: don't click on it unless you are prepared to do a bit of reading. legitimately i'm warning you here, there's well over 3K words on this (not counting the lyric transcriptions)

wow, really? okay, strap in!

Self- by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

this and -Ish were recommendations from my partner, so thank you to him :3

the respective opening and closing songs to SELF-iSH tied the og album together, so it was only natural that they serve the same function here.

the SELF-iSH album already deals with themes of identity, and i personally find Rob to be so interesting because of his complex relationship with his identity. or i guess the relationship that i perceive him to have

this song is short, but it's one of many songs that represents something we didn't see happen onscreen. for this one, its Rob getting zapped into the Void.

"well i don't remember 2012, but i heard the world would turn to hell, and compared to that, well, i'm doing well, so i pray to God it really did"

2012 was the year the show began, but its also a year where people believed the world would end. the connection is sort of paradoxical in relation to the show

"so when all my friends forget my name, no, i wont come back and be the same, no, i wont come back and be the same, and i'm gonna be myself again"

this part in particular is not only representing him being erased from the mind's of people who knew him, but also foreshadowing his eventual transformation...

the last line haunts me, because in my head animatic, its something he's saying to reassure himself that he'll be okay. that he'll get out of this and still be himself. which,,, i'm sorry, excuse me (UGLY CRIES HARD INTO A PILLOW) okay next song

Turn the Lights Off by Tally Hall

AUTISM JUMPSCARE

so this song is basically the ensuing panic and chaos from being brought to a place where mistakes are kept. most of my head animatic is just him wandering around in the Void and being chased or frightened by all the weird shit in there.

"eyes of yellow scales and feathers tails in tethers turn the lights off"

more foreshadowing,,,, how the white of his eye changes to yellow after the Void,,,,,,, how he gets a pig tail in The Future,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Penelope Scott is a recurring artist on this playlist :3 (foreboding sense of doom)

"and i am not your protagonist i'm not even my own i don't know anything i don't even know what i don't know"

local boy achieves sentience, more at 11

"and if you look outside you'll see disintegrating trees the artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves"

these lines perfectly paint a picture of a world that is not real, again tying into him becoming sentient

"and if you look outside you'll see disintegrating trees the artificial way the sunlight bounces off the glitching leaves"

do i even have to say it.

"my wet heart catches on every thorn you're already halfway out the door"

Rob calling out to Gumball and Darwin and then seeing them ignore him in favor of Molly........

"and i'm so tiny and so old and god its never been so cold and it is 85 degrees i don't know what i need"

the ending to this song feels so hopeless and frustrated. which sadly, ties in perfectly.

ECHO by Crusher-P (feat. GUMI)

this is like. the ultimate Rob song for so many reasons. here are my takes!!

"the clock stopped ticking forever ago how long have i been up? i don't know"

reflecting on how long he's been in the Void. has it been a day? or has it been years? it's impossible to know

"why cant i see, why cant i see all the colors that you see? please can i be, please can i be colorful and free?"

so in this instance “seeing color” is a sorta metaphor for being important or interesting. things which he wasn't, based on being put into the Void.

then him longing to be important, to be interesting, to be out of this god-forsaken place

"what the hell's going on? can someone tell me please? why i'm switching faster than the channels on TV I'm black, then i'm white no, something isn't right my enemy's invisible, i don't know how to fight"

in reference to his surroundings being screens of TV static. realizing that his real enemy is whatever decides who’s important and who isn’t, but not knowing how to fight back against it

"the trembling fear is more than i can take when i'm up against the echo in the mirror"

at this point the "echo" is the boy he was when he was brought here. young and naïve, hopeful that somebody would remember him and care enough about to come rescue him.

"i'm gonna burn my house down into a ugly black, i'm gonna run away now and never look back"

this is him running after the van and leaving this fucked up place behind. the fact that these lines repeat and overlap each other really sells the amp up towards the climax that is him grabbing onto the side of the van and holding on until we flash to the other side.

"what the hell's going on? can someone tell me, please? why i'm switching faster than the channels on TV I'm black, then i'm white, no, something isn't right, my enemy's invisible, i don't know how to fight,"

this,,,,, this is after the memory wipe. this is the "who am i? what happened? whats… wrong with me?" that happens as soon as he's spat out the other side.

"the trembling fear is more than i can take when i'm up against the echo in the mirror"

now the echo is a ghost of his former self, before he was transformed. i headcanon that his pre-Void self's appearance haunts him like a ghost, never being fully visible or tangible in any way, but still undeniably there.

from this point on when he tries to interact with it or remember who he was, its like trying to grab fog. it just slips right through his fingers and dissipates into nothing.

Eighth Wonder by Lemon Demon

FIRST and ONLY silly song!!! this one is him sneaking into and hiding in the Watterson's house almost entirely undetected :3 (DON'T look at his body dysphoria look at him he’s normal he’s NORMAL)

Projections by CG5

hey hey hey hey hey DON'T look at the Bendy and The Ink Machine character on the cover of the song—look at me! this song is a PERFECTLY NORMAL CHOICE-hey hey! stop looking at The Projectionist look at me-LOOK AT ME! this is NORMAL.

just. hear me out, okay. just listen. to the song.

"in the dark i see everything there's no place that i'd rather be"

he's just some poor amnesiac hiding out in a basement. he isn't happy about it, but he doesn't have anywhere to go. no memories, no family, and goodness knows California isn't particularly kind to the homeless. he has nowhere else to go. this is what he has and he has to deal with it.

"way back in history, you could say i was very bright, but now i'm drawn to the deepest darkness, and that's where i find my light”

and now he's alone in the dark, where the only light he has is the light that emits from his body.

"everywhere that i look, all that i see is projections of what i used to be"

he sees the ghost of his former self so often, and he knows that it's a clue to his past, but he can never get a good enough look at it to jog his memories.

in the original song, the change in vocalist signifies that Norman Polk, (the soul trapped inside The Projectionist) is the one singing now. i though that was cool, so that format carries over here as the former self begins to sing!

"but i guess it'll always be like this cant change anything about this infinite abyss”

infinite abyss is the Void that lurks just beyond their world, all powerful and unchanging

“i cant believe that this is happening, not at all i'm literally a walking thing singing 'bout my downfall i can still remember the day that i drowned, but i never even died"

this is the part in The Nobody when he got his memories back and decided to pursue vengeance

"start the show and look up at the screen watch from the beginning to the end of the scene if you want to learn more about me just watch the projections of what i used to be"

the rest of the song is his acceptance of the villain role and the ghost abandoning him for it

Again by Crusher-P

the first song for The Nemesis!!!

okay so quick thing before we start: there's a cover of this song by Jayn and The Living Tombstone (MAJOR FLASHING LIGHT WARNING FOR THE VIDEO). this version changed the lyrics in some places which offered some SUPER awesome opportunities for angst stuff. i would have put this version on the playlist, but it sadly isn't available on Spotify :( so for simplicity's sake i'll just talk abt the original here :)

i sort of see this song as an argument between his current self and the one he left behind. how much this anger and resentment has changed him from what he was. some parts of the song are sung by his past self and others are sung by the present.

"i haven't been myself lately i don't blame you for not wanting to stay saying things that i don't mean not meaning what i say"

(lines 1 and 2 are present self, lines 3 and 4 are past self)

i think that after he accepted the role of antagonist, the ghost of who he was before just vanished. i like to believe it was afraid of him, and perhaps ashamed, too.

"when its good, its so good when its bad, its so bad even when i knew what i had what am i supposed to say when i end up driving everyone away?"

(present self)

wanting revenge can change you. you were hurt, or something was taken from you, and you want to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. when you have all of that anger festering inside of you, it can distort whatever idea you have of who you are—and that is what happened here. the anger and resentment not only permanently changed who he is now, but scared away what little of himself he had left.

"every inch of me is charred god, what happened to my heart? i'm about to fall apart again, again and you're never coming back and i'm not okay with that! and i should have never let myself get attached!"

(present self speaking about past self)

he's never getting back what they took from him. he'll never be the same, because of them. who he was — that's not him anymore, and its their fault.

"and its like every day is a fight for my life to get some self control and when you've forgotten who i am, it just feels, it just feels like i'm nobody at all"

(present self talking about past self)

again, the ghost disappearing after he accepts the antagonist role making him lose touch with who he was

"i lost myself hitting the ground i held my breath in case i drowned"

flashback to when he got spat out of the Void without his memories. when he got his memories back, he also regained self-awareness.

"i should have known when to let go and when to see who i was being"

maybe it was a mistake. but its still their fault. now he's REALLY mad.

Enemy by Imagine Dragons

i think you and i know each other pretty well at this point. you're reading my analytical mini-essay about this cartoon character. we’re being cringe together. you won’t make fun of me for choosing the jerma meme song.

the first part of this song is for The Bus. think of it as an internal monologue while he does his villain shit. this one also kind of touches on how he’s taking the nemesis thing a lot more seriously than Gumball is

the second part of the song transitions into the events of The Disaster.

"they say pray it away i swear that i’ll never be a saint, no way”

this is Rob reflecting the role he’s been given as antagonist because he wants to be the main character. he’s not content to be a good little character and stay in his assigned role, he wants freedom!

“a chair in the corner is my place i stay i shake and i think about the powers at play, the powers at play”

the powers at play are exactly what they sound like. it’s the show runners and the audience — the people who are watching and controlling his fictional world.

“and the kids in the dark that were doomed from the start,"

i've done a little digging into what the show creators have said about Rob, and from what i can gather it was planned for him to have had this happen to him from a very early point in the show. so. yeah. doomed from the start indeed

"love is a constant, love is a basis, he cannot be, she cannot be, they can not be changed goodbye..."

everyone in this story is powerless to change it. everyone... except him, now that he has the remote

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing by Set It Off

a classic villain rage song! most of this is him fucking up Gumball's life in The Disaster

"baa baa, black sheep, have you any soul? no, sir, by the way what the hell are morals?!"

fun fact! early prototype versions of Gumball made him a black cat to tie into his unluckiness :3 they didn't end up going with it because he was too hard to see against black backgrounds, but still. i like to imagine Rob knows stuff like that,,,,

"maybe you'll change abandon all your wicked ways make amends and start anew again maybe you'll see all the wrongs you did to me and start all over, start all over again"

this is that moment in The Disaster where Rob tries to reveal the nature of their world to Gumball

"oh, who am I kidding? now, let's not get overzealous here you've always been a huge piece of shit if I could kill you, I would but it's frowned upon in all fifty states having said that, burn in hell, yeah!"

but Gumball doesn't understand. so Rob gives up and decides to finish what he started.

"karma's gonna come collect your debt!"

at the end of the song its Gumball jumping in after the remote, Rob closing the AV portal like curtains, and Gumball managing to press the rewind button, transitioning into the next episode

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land by MARINA

holy fuck i love this one okay lets go. now we're in The Re-Run, but these next two songs are replacing the ones that were there in The Disaster

"you don't have to be like everybody else you don't have to fit into the norm you are not here to conform"

again, rejection of the role he was given and what the universe wants him to be.

"i am here to take a look inside myself recognize that I could be the eye, the eye of the storm"

now that he has the remote, he can be the center of it all. the eye of the storm, the main character.

"i am not my body, not my mind or my brain (ha) not my thoughts or feelings, I am not my DNA i am the observer, I'm a witness of life"

i like the interesting position that sentience puts him in. he's watching the world with the context that none of its real, so he's watching it with us, the audience. but he's still living through all of these experiences like they are real because they’re happening in his reality, so he’s still part of the show and,,, yeah you get it.

"i live in the space between the stars and the sky"

line is in reference to how he's caught between worlds. he doesn't belong in Elmore, but he doesn't want to go back to the Void

Dr. Sunshine Is Dead by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

ooooh this one’s good. let’s get started.

"if we can't see each other, then there's no more use for hiding I've decided I'll abide it; why deny the color black?"

why shouldn't he have what he wants? he has all of the power to get it. who's going to stop him?

"i'm not a flower, not a solar-powered calculator Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there"

these lines are in reference to Leslie and Bobert, who get to be important and interesting and not having their lives ripped apart by the universe. god fuck those guys and fuck him for ever wanting to settle for being a cute side character when he could have THIS

"the future must know where you've been the past predicts the state you're in the present did and will not last is, isn't, was, have, hasn't, has"

this is the part where Gumball starts to get the upper hand and it starts to dawn on Rob that he's fucked

"all that i ask is, keep those empty frames if nobody's in them, then no one is to blame for your self-portraits, sign another name well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same?

Gumball ejects him. and now he's falling…

"and if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares? i'll stay awake tonight..."

if he can come so close to his perfect life, if he can wield the power of a god and still fail--is there any point in continuing to think he can be anything else? anything but a mistake to be cast aside and forgotten?

there's nowhere to go--no point in trying to be anything else. this is the end.

Bad Apple!! - English Remaster by RichaadEB and Christina Vee

STOP LAUGHING

okay so this cover is metal as fuck and i love it a lot but anyway- we're still in The Re-Run at this point. just for fun we're going to pretend he was in there a lot longer than he was in canon

"and maybe its a dream, maybe nothing else is real but it wouldn't mean a thing if i told you how i feel"

oughhh imagine trying to pull the wool away from someone's eyes only for them not to understand and leave you more isolated than you've ever been before.

"you could tell me what to say, you could tell me where to go, but i doubt that i would care and my heart would never know"

so what if he's a mistake? does any of it really matter in the first place if none of it’s real?

"will tomorrow ever come? will i make it through the night? will there ever be a place for the broken in the light?"

will things ever get better for him? will things get better for anyone trapped in the existential nightmare of their own fictionality?

will the mistakes of the world ever find peace, or comfort, or solace in what they are--toys to be ripped apart and cast aside by greater beings?

"if i find a way to change, if i step into the light then i'll never be the same and it all would fade to white"

imagine holding infinite power in your hands--the ability to rewrite reality to your liking, to step into the spotlight you've yearned for for so long, only to be sent back to the buzzing white hellscape where everything terrible began?

ramping up towards the climax of the song is when Gumball enters to rescue him from this place. Rob is running from him stubbornly because he's being overwhelmed by hatred and hopelessness- convinced an eternity of loneliness is what he deserves.

"this time you're not hurting me! this time i will take a stand! all the hatred in my eyes building up an evil plan standing lonely in the night, with the darkness by my side"

he finally gets ahold of the remote again. Gumball is utterly defenseless--and Rob has the chance to finish what he started. but...

"looking deep inside myself, and revealing only fright"

but standing behind Gumball is the ghost. his ghost.

"if i make another move, if i take another step then it all would fall apart, there'd be nothing of me left"

the person that he was- the person who would have done anything to even have the chance to be rescued, is right there.

if he does this--if he takes Gumball's life in favor of an eternity of loneliness--then he'll lose what little remained of who he was.

so he cant do it. he cant bring himself to do it. so he goes back

"so i'm back here once again, so i'm back here once again! will i ever make a change? will my heart begin to mend?

this one simple action, where Gumball goes back into the Void to save Rob even though he's won, it lets Rob forgive him in a sense. the two of them are friends now.

"would you love me if i go?"

but it cant last, even if he wants it to. he has to fix the mess he's created.

"it feels like a heart attack! but still everything's the same-"

so he rewinds, fixing all of the problems he caused. he finally stops just after he first got the remote

"and it all just fades to black"

he smashes the remote and the world goes dark as the credits roll and the music fades out...

Amygdala’s Ragdoll by Ghost and Pals

this is another song that takes place during some offscreen time, specifically the time between the rerun's end the ex's beginning.

there's a general theme of guilt and anguish in this song. he reason he “breaks up” with Gumball is tied to what happened at the end of The Re-Run. Rob feels bad about ruining Gumball life and he’s still struggling with the guilt of his actions along with everything else.

"an eye for an eye that's how the game works i'm losing my autonomy, a mutilated part of me"

being aware that you are fictional character and therefore losing what autonomy you had because somebody is making all of your decisions for you & having a mangled, broken body that's a distorted version of who you are or used to be.

"today something changed i figured it's true the frontal lobe placed me behind my own strings 'cause i defy the way the game works i'll say it again, i'm only getting worse"

yet another reference to Rob being sentient and trying to go against the show's narrative

"the dull assumptions that I've tasted decency waiting for the embers to lose their glow and I, and I dunno oh, all I've ever seen before were clusters of holes"

he's really been put through the ringer for like. genuinely no reason. what was the point.

“the fire and i, alone again the guilt and i, alone again”

ough this one hits. after everything that happened in the re-run can you imagine the kind of guilt he felt? like. friendly reminder that The Re-Run was an infinitely more fucked up episode than The Disaster because one character CEASED TO EXIST and another literally DIED onscreen.

jesus. being somewhat responsible for that happening has GOT to fuck you up.

Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms

this one is a breakup song that i put on here just for The Ex because there is no heterosexual explanation for it. anyway

the themes of hating someone you’re in a relationship with and trying to get them out of your life but they just keep showing up despite every attempt you make to push them away,,, yeah

“i got boulders on my shoulders collarbones begin to crack there is very little left of me and it’s never coming back”

CRYING

"you say i'm changing sorry, i didn't know i had to stay the same could we talk about this later? your voice is driving me insane, driving me insane!

you get it. you see the parallels.

"you're a werewolf and i'm a full moon all your very worst enemies will be gone soon"

oh boy, more foreshadowing! but yeah that's it for The Ex. moving on!

Infinitesimal by Mother Mother

this is one of the few super mentally ill songs that i let stay on the playlist.

this song has a general theme of feeling like an idiot for being upset about seemingly minuscule problems. its also a song about existentialism, which i thought was fitting

All The Rowboats by Regina Spektor

this ones for The Future! starting with him kidnapping Banana Barbara and ending with him being erased, then painted back into existence.

like. listen to these lyrics and TELL me it cant be tied to the paintings predicting unchangeable futures.

"all the rowboats in the paintings they keep trying to row away and the captains' worried faces stay contorted and staring at the waves they'll keep hanging in their gold frames for forever, forever and a day all the rowboats in the oil paintings they keep trying to row away, row away"

Rät by Penelope Scott

i imagine this takes place when Rob wakes up after being painted back into existence.

now he's dealing with anger and resentment over Gumball again, but now its different because he was TRYING to do a good thing but he STILL got FUCKED OVER ANYWAY.

"i fell for circuit boards rocket ships pictures of the stars if you could only be what you pretend you are"

if only Gumball could be a somebody who's worthy of being the main character

"let me level with you, man as someone guilty of the game i took the help, I took the cash i would've taken your last name"

in reference to Rob trying to replace Gumball using the remote, but ultimately choosing not to

This Is Home by Cavetown

this song is where i introduce one of my favorite headcanons inspired by this playlist: that Rob was the one who built the transformation machines from The Inquisition.

in this song, he's starting to work on his plans to save everyone as well as reflecting on his life and the decisions he's made up until now.

“i’ll cut my hair to make you stare”

okay so. you know that cluster of polygons on Rob's back? it’s supposed to be a backpack, but the fans (myself included) always draw it as a ponytail.

in The Inquisition, its missing.

i'm serious, go and watch that episode back. it's just gone.

this was probably a purposeful choice during production so that the audience wouldn't see his model clipping through the floor in the shots where he's lying down, since that would break immersion.

but in conjunction with the ponytail headcanon? oh man.

i like to think that after the events of The Future, Rob cut his hair. mostly because i just LOVE the trope of a character cutting their hair to symbolize change/character growth. not sure how it would work with his whole... whatever he has going on, but i digress

"are you dead? sometimes i think i'm dead 'cause i can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head but i don't wanna fall asleep just yet my eyes went dark i don't know where my pupils are but i'll figure out a way to get us outta here"

i don't think Rob knows about the painting, but what he does know is that the world is ending, and he doesn't want to disappear before he can have a chance to save everyone.

"get a load of this monster he doesn't know how to communicate his mind is in a different place can everybody please give him a little bit of space?

reflecting on how he handled the confrontation in the Future. he was so fixated on finding answers and getting rid of obstacles that he hadn't thought to explain the reasons behind his actions to anyone.

"get a load of this trainwreck his hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet but little do we know the stars welcome him with open arms oh..."

little does Rob know that while he works on a solution, the Void is waiting for him.

Moonsickness by Penelope Scott

getting all of the machines to work right is an arduous task. he's building all of them from scratch, conducting all of the necessary tests, dealing with all of the bugs and problems, and its all on a time limit. the world is set to end any day now and he feels like he's failing, but he has to keep going for the sake of everyone in Elmore.

Who We Are by Imagine Dragons

we've finally made it to The Inquisition!! think of this song sort of like an internal justification for his actions as Superintendent Evil (goofy ass name btw, there's no way he didn't come up with that because of the Dr Wrecker persona)

“it’s who we are, doesn’t matter if we’ve gone too far, doesn’t matter if it’s all okay, doesn’t matter if it’s not our day,”

its for the greater good.

"oh, wont you save us from what we are?"

"up in the attic, down in the cellar lost in the static, coming back for more oh, for more"

they need to do this. they need to change. there's no other way.

but things never go his way, do they?

7 O'Clock by Penelope Scott

after he gets knocked out via t. rex clobbering, in my head there's an intense dream sequence that this and part of Some Nights takes place in.

"a glitch in the game, i loop like a bug and all that i ever wanted was a really tight hug"

REMEMBER WHEN HE AND GUMBALL HUGGED IN THE RE-RUN? BECAUSE I DO

"a glitch in the game, i loop like a bug and all i ever died for was a really tight hug"

SCREAMING AND CRYING ANS SOBBING AND WAILING AND BANGING MY FISTS ON THE FLOOR

"the future is static, it drips on the floor and makes its way underneath my bedroom door"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ARHARGGARRAFHRASFASGA (<- INSANITY)

Some Nights by fun.

oh my god we finally made it to the reason i made this post. if you've made it this far you have a problem (<- WROTE ALL THE SHIT)

so. this song is already about reflecting on your past. but my GOD its like they made this song for Rob because so many lines just fit him perfectly. lets get into it.

"but i still wake up, i still see your ghost"

when he started working on a way to save everyone, i like to imagine the ghost started appearing more frequently, eagerly watching him work on a solution and rooting for him to finally become a better person

"oh Lord, i'm still not sure what i stand for what do i stand for? what do i stand for? most nights i don't know anymore"

i'm. sorry guys i need a second. (UGLY CRIES SUPER LOUD INTO A PILLOW)

at this point he doesn't know who he wants to be. first he didn't know who he was. then he decided he would be someone driven by anger and vengeance. then he wanted to turn over a new leaf, but was dragged back into villainy.

so who should he be? the frail and scared amnesiac? the malicious and cunning villain? or... maybe, once all of this is over, he can finally choose for himself.

"well some nights i wish that this would all would end 'cause i could use some friends for a change! and some nights i'm scared you'll forget me again some nights i always win (i always win)"

I'M SOBBING JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY

"so this is it? i sold my soul for this? washed my hands of that for this? i miss my mom and dad for this? no, when i see stars- when i see- when i see stars, that's all they are"

this whole bit is him waking up and monologing about why they stopped him. if he's failed, what was the point of all of this? what was the point of anything?

"well, that is it guys, that is all five minutes in, and i'm bored again ten years of this, i'm not sure if anybody understands"

in reference to how people sometimes tune out in the middle of a show's the runtime and also. the show turned twelve this year. (kubrik stare)

"the other night, you wouldn't believe the dream i just had about you and me i called you up, but we both agree

the ground starts to shake under him and the floor caves in. we hear the final lines of the song as he falls in slow motion, deeper and deeper into the abyss.

"its for the best you didn't listen its for the best we get our distance, oh its for the best you didn't listen its for the best we get our distance, oh"

-Ish by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

in his final moments, Rob reflects on his life for a final time. falling through the air, he realizes that who he is, who he was, who he wanted to be never mattered anyway. because no matter what he did, it all ended the same.

with the world devoured by static and nobody left to defend it.

#i did not re-read so apologies if some sentences make 0 sense #tawog #rob

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embracedthevoid · 2 years ago

Note

Hi I just wanted talk to you about your fic " Summer of love" and how much it affected me in really strange way. I mean Im usually in love with angst slow burn happy ending type of fiction readers but yours, I can't describe it well enough: it hurt me so bad that left me with tangled pool of emotions : the more I read each chapter the more I felt angry at Wille and the way he wanted to keep having stable simple life but still going after his teenager crush too. I felt frustrated too at how he wanted everything but did nothing to make change or simply move on and forget about it(if possible but I know that's hard with first love!) I felt sad and hopeless at how love can drag one souls and mind to cling to the tiniest (unreal) hope with no control over his life or body! I felt lost and confused, heartbroken and mad at every details that went through your story and I couldn't decipher at first why!yours fic is the first one where I wished for it to be with NO happy ending, for Simon to find love some where far away from Wilhelm's foggy world where he can't find himself or find way out of it.i wished for Simon to move on and find happiness for the rest of his life with no fear of losing it at any second or waking up like it was sweet dream that quickly ended before he even get the to best part of it.

I didn't know why I was( and still) super mad at Wilhelm's character, at how he didn't take risk for his lover, he didn't left his comfort zone and just stayed with empty soul, hoping vainly to build life with someone else he doesn't feel that burning flames with, wanting and choosing to settle down in fake loveless marriage. He didn't make efforts to change, he didn't push through or faced his worst fears and nightmare to reach to the other side where everything true, beautiful and real is there.. But he didn't!

I hated that so much, because I understood that pain so well that futil despair, holding into the less troubling, less desirable. Because I felt that too in way somehow I am there too choosing to live life void of risk and trouble and real love and independence and just existing peacefully or cowardly (if you want see it that way).

You're really really an amazing writer ❤️❤️

Oh my goodness, you've actually made me cry real tears. I'm legit sitting at my computer on a Sunday night with tears in my eyes because of this message. At first, I thought this was going to be a less than pleasant comment based on they way you opened, but I'm so so happy it didn't turn out that way hahah.

This makes me so happy to hear. You have no idea what this means to me. When I started the story there was an active thought in my mind that I didn't want the reader to be on Wilhelm's side. I wanted them to question him and what he was doing. To sympathize with him but also feel for the people he hurt and is currently hurting.

Life is hard and complicated and sometimes 'easier' just feels so so so much better as a short term solution. But doing the hard stuff, making the hard choices, is exactly that, difficult and messy and often end with someone getting hurt. Sadly Wilhelm is learning this too late. And I think seeing where Maddie is in her life and how happy she is, really helps Wilhelm see that. Because she chose the opposite of him. She took the risk, and it paid off, and now he's kicking himself for making the choices he did as a kid.

As for the wishing there was no happy ending, I'm honestly with you there. I've grown to love Marion and much as I have Wilhelm and Simon and I don't want any of them to suffer for Wilhelm's mistakes. But alas, the outline was completed months ago, and the story must go on as it's meant to.

Thank you so much for sending me this. As a person who actually wants to make a career out of being a writer, stuff like this makes my heart sing and my mind happy and motivated. So thank you anon, I adore you. 💜.

#nicest fandom ever #what the heck #you're so nice #sol ask

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jaedreaminn · 3 years ago

Text

On The Bridge

Summary

The water under the bridge was luring but no as much as the boy on the bridge.

Or maybe you were just convincing yourself you liked the water because you hadn't met the boy yet...

Pairings: Renjun x fem!reader

Characters: Renjun, Doyoung «mentioned» Chenle, Taeyong.

About: Angst, recovery, comfort, semicolon, light humour, sad, Bitter-Sweet, open ending.

Word Count: 4.6k

WARNINGS

Mentions of suicide! Attempt at suicide! (Nothing graphic) Read with caution it gets heavy.

Toxic family relations.

Mentioned bullying.

Reader suffers from depression.

You sat on the thick railing of the bridge, legs dangling high above the moon lit waters. It was truly a beautiful and calming site, so peaceful and pure, the complete opposite of your thoughts.

Up on this bridge you were lost in a trance, trapped in a void of your own thoughts that were empty but at the same time raging.

You failed to notice a presence besides you so you were quite startled when a voice spoke asking you, "Why are you here?"

You blinked once at the pretty who sat next to you before calmly answering him, "To watch the water."

"You're not here to....umm..."

"Join the water?" You asked a small teasing smile creeping on you face and the boy seemed to curl into himself.

"Y-yea that" he stuttered.

"Yea I'm here to join the water." You said and he frowned, "But not today. I'll do that the moment my birthday ends" you said with a smile and he looked at you in awe.

"Leave this world a day after I arrived, won't that be cool?" You asked and he hesitated before nodding.

"It would be cool..." He said slowly sitting up straight.

"So you're here to jump too?" You asked, your words too bold and unfiltered for him.

"Oh- umm I, Y-yea" he stuttered, panicking and you smiled softly again.

"I don't think you will. You seem too cowardly to actually jump...I mean you couldn't even properly ask me if I was going to jump" you said with a shrug while the boy with blond hair (you just noticed) slowly calmed down.

"I am." He said with a small nod, "But I wasn't always scared it's just...." He trailed, biting his lip not sure whether to tell you or not.

"Just what?" you asked eyes innocently curiously, he held his breath for a minute contemplating whether to tell you or not and then sighed, "I used to sneak out and come here every night but every time my younger brother would know I was gone and would always follow me here" he said eyes glistening and you felt entrapped in his sullen gaze.

"And we'd sit here on this bridge every night talking about anything and everything. He was bubbly and carefree but always held onto my hand tightly as if he knew I would jump if he let go. But I could never tell if he knew or not because the only thing that was bluntly visible on his face was his million dollar smile." the boy said with a small twinkle in his eye.

"Where is he now?" You asked and a sad smile made its way to the boy’s soft features.

"He's shining as the brightest star in the sky" he replied, pointing up at no particular star.

"He was sick. Born a sick child, I always knew he was going to go early." the boy said and you felt sorry for him, the way he smiled sadly to himself holding the weight of losing a loved on his lean shoulders.

"I'm so"

"No don't say sorry, he lived a good life" he cut you off and for a few minutes the two of you just sat on the bridge silently, two broken souls.

"What's your name?" You finally asked and he looked hesitant before he spoke, "Huang Renjun"

"Hi Renjun I'm Kim y/n" you said offering him a smile with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hi y/n" he said with a small laugh at your gesture, which he found cute.

"So why do you still come here Renjun?" You asked and Renjun stilled, breathing slowly he spoke "I want to jump. I can't handle life anymore but every time it feels like someone's holding onto my arm..." He trailed off and you felt your heart sink, he lived only because of the memory of his brother.

"Why are you here y/n?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Me? Well...I recently shifted here with my parents. My brother stayed back but it's not like he lived with us. I hated my old school and my entire experience there. It scared me to the point I have an anxiety attack at the thought of going to any school so I'm being home schooled now. Home school isn't better though considering I'm stuck at home with the constant yelling. I'm invisible now almost as if I was never supposed to exist so that's what I'm here to do. To not exist." you said in one go biting your lip nervously at the thought of over sharing but Renjun smiled at you and you felt your nervous heartbeat calm down. You also noticed that he really was a beautiful boy because one small smile on his face looked so captivating to you.

"That's sad... I wish you didn't feel that way" he said earnestly and you felt something close to genuine happiness at that statement for a brief second.

"And I wish I was never born...it's not fair to me" you said with a sigh eyes fixed on the water again. Jumping into it and being lost in its current seemed like the most peaceful and joyful thing in the world to you. The coldness of the water and the darkness of the night wrapped around you like a blanket as you finally let go. It sounded perfect.

"What if you find a reason to live?" Renjun asked interrupting your thoughts and you frowned. There wasn't a reason, there never was going to be and even if there was one reason to live there were thousand other reasons to leave.

"What was your brother's name?" You asked changing the topic. Renjun smiled and simply answered, "Zhong Chenle" without prying any further.

And so you two bonded talking about anything and everything or nothing at all. And every night, like routine you went to the bridge and he was there. And that's how you made your first and probably your last friend.

It was on one of the more cheerful nights when Renjun was animatedly telling you about his baby brothers dolphin laugh and about how contagious it was that it had delayed his cake cutting by fifteen minutes because he couldn't stop laughing that you told Renjun when your birthday was.

"In two weeks!" Renjun exclaimed shocked, a frown plastered on his face.

"Yes in two weeks" you repeated with a small giggle at how cute his flustered self looked.

"But that's so soon" he subconsciously pouted rather cutely.

"Want to join me?" You asked even though you knew his answer.

"I would if I wasn't a coward" Renjun said with a frown and held your hand. "I'll miss you"

"At least someone will" you said with a dead laugh and Renjun frowned, for some reason he was convinced people knew you existed. And maybe they knew but if you didn't want to live it was your choice not theirs.

"My brother's in town and we used to be so close now it's only awkward small talk as if he hates talking to me" you said with a sarcastic laugh but it only sounded like a strangled cry and Renjun put a comforting hand on your shoulder not saying anything.

"And my parents...well they don't talk they yell" you scoffed, "They probably haven't even noticed I live with them by how occupied they are trying to hurt each other"

"And I never had any friends and I wouldn't call the people at my old school my friends...ever. They broke me and said that's just how they are or that I'm being dramatic. It was always just me. I'm always stuck outside as if I was never meant to be and maybe I'm not..." You said a sob escaping your lips after your outed your demons and Renjuns heart broke as he pulled you towards him and hugged you as you silently sniffed.

"Don’t worry you won't go alone, I'll come and say goodbye to you" he whispered in your ear and a small smile made its way to your face, glad that he understood you.

"I'd try to stop you but I know it's stupid to try to stop you when I myself want to jump so bad" he said as he tightened his hold around you and you lay your head on his chest. Renjun wasn't cold like the waters were but being in his embrace still brought you peace.

"How come you're waiting till after your birthday?" He asked you and a small smile made its way to your face, finally a question you wanted to answer. "Because that's the one day the yelling stops and everyone pretends like everything is fine and the one day they notice me. It's the one day I'm everyone's favourite and I want their last memory of me to be a happy one" you said, recollecting those rare happy memories as you listened to Renjuns heartbeat.

"I'll send you away happy too so you'd have one last happy memory too" he said resting his head on yours.

He was so warm but you didn't hate it as much as you did and suddenly the water looked too cold.

And so two weeks started to go by and your nights with Renjun got weirder and weirder, he would either be really talkative or extremely quiet. And not the comfortable quite you were used to, not when everything about his quite presence screamed THINKING LOUDLY. But it didn't bother you for too long.

The day of your birthday went as you predicted. Everyone was smiling and suddenly you were the center of everyone's attention. With fake smiles and happiness and peace that wouldn't last. At least their last memory of you was you smiling right? Maybe they won't feel guilty for too long because you were never supposed to exist. But at the same time you wanted them to hurt the way you did, to regret not being able to save you.

The day went by cheerful and night came, you kissed your parents good night and hugged your brother properly for the first time after he returned. You were pretty sure you shocked him a bit but it was your last good bye. You needed it. He was the one you cared for the most in your family.

Once night fell and you were sure everyone was too tired to care you creeped out towards the bridge walking there quickly in anticipation of Renjuns good bye so you frowned when you realised he wasn't there.

You looked at your phone, 11:45.

He still had fifteen minutes to arrive maybe he'd say goodbye to you then.

But it was soon 11:59 and no one had come onto the bridge other than a stray cat.

You frowned looking at the screen on your phone as tears made its way to your eyes, you were always meant to be die unnoticed and alone.

The numbers on the clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00 and you placed it down on the railing next to you as you leaned over to look at the water.

Stupid Renjun, his warmth made the cold water which you loved before seem too cold. But at least it was dark.

You placed your arms on both sides of the railings and gave yourself a slight push ready to slip and fall off but just then a hand clasped onto your arm and you turned around to look at a red faced Renjun.

"M-my brother used to...” he panted, out of breath and you looked at his pleading eyes worried. “He used to hold onto me and now I'm going to hold onto you" he said, breathing heavily from his run here.

"B-but you said you understood" you yelled anger bubbling inside of you, a frown making its way to your face, how could he stop you just because he was scared.

"I didn't understand two shits." He said sternly, standing up straight. "At first you inspired me and I thought that I'd finally have to courage to jump if I do it with you but then I didn't want to see you go....I already saw Chenle go without being able to do anything for my baby brother who wanted to live and here I was letting you go and thinking of taking my life, a life which Chenle could have never had. What an insult it would have been to his death if his brother who wasn't forced to die took his own life after his baby brother fought so much to live? And you! How could I just sit by and watch you take your life" he yelled as tears threatened to fall.

"So I decided not to come today but I care too much to not show up. So the only thing I can do right now is hold onto your arm to make sure you won't jump while talking about anything and everything until you forget about wanting to jump. Just like Chenle did for me." Renjun said hurriedly and desperately, face turning red and fresh tears falling out of his shining, determined eyes and you felt your heart sink as realisation of how real this situation was. His goal was to talk to you until you forgot why you were here but you just couldn't.

"B-but" you started to reason and Renjun shook his head. "No I'm holding onto you" he said, red eyes shining with a passion to keep you alive and you almost felt touched. Almost. This was supposed to be your escape but now one small boy with the voice of an angle has got you questioning everything? His eyes pleaded with you and he rambled about something that fell deaf to your ears as you glanced at the waters. It looked too cold and suddenly death seemed a bit scarier than before.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath and you let yourself die away in the darkness. As you pressed each emotion you felt way under an invisible weight of the darkness that comforted you, that excited you, that promised you eternal peace. Maybe the water was too cold but the darkness was pulling you in and all it would take was one little push to let it consume you.

But the darkness was snatched away from you as a sudden bright light blinded your vision, it was someone's torch from their phone but you couldn't see who was holding it and neither could Renjun as he squinted trying to not look directly into the light.

"Y/n?" A voice called out and your eyes widened, in recognition.

"D-Doyoung?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled pocketing his phone and running to you, yanking you off the railing and onto the pavement of the bridge.

"Are you mad? Why would you do that! What would I do if I lost you? How could you just think of leaving like that!" He yelled at you, tears shamelessly falling out of his eyes. You noticed he looked defeated but you didn't understand why.

"I-I’m sorry" you mumbled feeling obligated to apologise, looking away biting onto you lip hard, more embarrassed than scared that he caught you.

What you didn't know Doyoung’s mind was a whirlwind of regrets and flashbacks. Of hatred for himself for not noticing sooner for not coming to your aid sooner.

For how noisy his mind was to you it was silent. Too silent. He didn't say anything and now you were scared. Scared of what would happen, scared because no matter how much you tried to predict the outcome your mind remained blank.

"Ohhh what would I do if I lost you" he finally said breaking the silence and holding onto you so tight you were surprised none of your bones broke.

"I'm sorry." He broke into a sob, "I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. I'm sorry I didn't take you away from there with me, I'm sorry I didn’t protect you at school. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. But please don't do this y/n" he pleaded with a broken hopeless voice holding onto you tighter, "You're my baby sister and I won't be able to live with myself if I lost you" he sobbed into your hair holding you close to him and for the first time you felt fear, fear of what would happen if you left Doyoung behind.

"I should have protected you and should have just taken you with me not waited until I could prove to our parents I had money oh god" he continued to cry and it hurt your heart, how could you forget your brother's promise to take you away and protect you and how could you forget your promise to love with him. Live with him. You couldn't hold back either, clinging onto him for life as you cried. All the pain inside you finally breaking lose as you sobbed and sobbed in your brother's arms. And suddenly all the emotions that the darkness hid were out in the open and you felt every emotion all at once and it wasn't a burden like you expected but instead freeing.

The pain from the constant bullying, the neglect, having to deal with your parents fighting and then your brother moving out. You were alone and scared and all the emotions you bottled up came pouring out all at once. You felt faint and light headed but you couldn't stop crying your soul out.

You weren't brave but a coward just leaving without really putting up a fight. You felt yourself shift as Doyoung who had stopped crying slowly sat down with you still held tightly in his arms.

You sat on the cold road, head rested on your brother's chest as you listened to his heartbeat and he caressed you head as your sobs slowly died down. You were tired and might have fallen asleep there if it wasn't for your brother's cold voice startling you back into consciousness.

"Who are you?" your brother's asked tone so cold you would have been scared to be on the receiving end of it and that's when you realised- Renjun!

"Oh I'm her.... Friend?" Renjun questioned more than answered and you smiled at the flustered boy as your brother's eyes critically scanned him.

"He's Renjun" you said pulling away from your brother's embrace deciding to end the trembling boys suffering, "He was brave enough to not join me and even braver to stop me" you said smiling at the said brave boy (who was currently trembling under Doyoungs gaze). Doyoung gave Renjun a curt nod and got up to thank him.

You tried your best to hold in your laughter as you watched them awkwardly shake hands. It was definitely a start of a very awkward relationship.

...

You blinked your eyes open, your head was killing you and you felt like you woke up from a drug induced dream. Last night was all messed up for you and you weren't sure if it was real.

You lay there on your bed feeling drained to the core and empty inside. You felt awful. Like you shouldn't have woken up today morning, yet some part of you was secretly glad.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Doyoung who barged into you room and opened your curtains filling the room with bright light, you squinted, your eyes hurting at the sudden surplus of light but for the first time you were glad it was bright rather than dark as you saw your brother standing against the light, smiling at you.

"Get dressed Renjun should be here soon" he said and marched out of your room before you could react. You forced yourself to sit up, brain still not processing a word he had said.

It was a challenge getting ready, especially since all you wanted to do today was lay in bed but you got ready and walked to the kitchen where Doyoung placed a fresh plate of pancakes in front of you.

You smiled at him, sitting yourself down and digging into your breakfast when you stopped and realised how quite it was

"Ummm Doyoung where are..." You started to ask but Doyoung cut you off, "It's like you forgot last night." He scoffed but there was a very obvious smile on his face as if he was happy. You couldn't understand why he was so happy when all you felt was empty and awful after last night.

"They have gone for couples counselling but honestly I think it'll end in a divorce" Doyoung said it so casually that you sat there with your fork hovering in front of your mouth shocked. "Don’t be so surprised. I know it sucks but I'm old enough to take care of you and I'm taking you away with me this time. Let them sort out their own problems and don’t you dare blame yourself for their failed marriage okay." He said sternly walking towards you and feeding you the pancake himself since you just sat there frozen. "And I know they're kind of messed up but they do love us and they have taken care of us, maybe not emotionally but in...other ways" he said placing a hand on your head and you nodded, dumbfounded. You wanted to say something but didn't know what to say or ask so you just sat there watching him, confused. He smiled at that. Everything was happening so quickly it was still taking you time to process it especially after last nights... whirlwind of emotions.

"You can be mad at them y/n. You can be mad at me. You can be mad at whoever okay. Feel things again." He said placing a soft kiss on your forehead as he walked to answer the door.

When did the doorbell ring?

"Oh Renjun you're here!" You heard him happily exclaim and walk back into the kitchen, followed by a shy Renjun. You looked at Renjun confused but he only gave you a shy smile.

"What's going on?" You asked after you swallowed the food that was in your mouth.

"I'm taking you two for therapy" he said so casually as if he didn't forget to mention that to you and by the looks of it he forgot to tell Renjun too.

"But my parents..."

"Renjun I spoke to them and they agreed to it" Doyoung said interrupting Renjun who seemed to have trouble believing Doyoung as he looked at him accusingly.

"Okay I fought with them and they agreed. Plus they can't stop me all the way from China if you consent to this can they?" Doyoung asked with a smug grin and Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

"What why?" You asked still confused "when did all this happen?"

"I got it all arranged last night." Doyoung casually said again as if he didn't forget to tell the two of you all of this and turned to Renjun, "Would you like some pancakes too?"

Renjun flushed in embarrassment at Doyoungs gaze and you frowned.

"But why are you suddenly so invested in all this" you asked, your tone sounding colder than you intended it to be. You regretted your words when you saw hurt flash through Doyoung’s eyes for a second.

Doyoung’s gave you a wary smile before he spoke, "When I left three years ago I wasn't in a good place. But I met good people and I got help. The three years I avoided coming home was because I took that time to heal. And I feel selfish for leaving you but I hope you'll one day understand that I needed to be stronger to take care of you. So that's what I'm doing now."

"Why are you taking me too then?" Renjun asked, eyes downcast, looking disappointed. What you didn't know was that he was disappointed. Someone else was going to take the burden of taking care of him and he didn't like that. He didn't like being a burden. He burdened his parents so much that they left him and now the same thing was going to happen with the only nice people he knew. He was beyond disappointed.

"Because you need help. I have a friend in uni, his name is Lee Taeyong." A small smile made its way to Doyoung’s face, "He helped me out in ways no one else would. He took care of me and he made sure I was okay, he genuinely cared for me even though I wasn't very nice to him. At first I found him annoying but now he's one of the most important people in my life and I don't think I would ever be able to live without him, don't tell him that though. But the thing is he came to me and helped me I didn't go to him, so now I'm going to help you no matter how much you feel like you don't deserve it Renjun. No matter how annoying you think I am." Doyoung said, stubbornness shining in his eyes and Renjun stood there shocked and taken back.

"I also knew your brother" Doyoung said shocking Renjun for the second time in the past five minutes, "He was a child prodigy at SM University, musical talents unlike any other, he was so young and so week but so jovial. His parents loomed over him taking praises given to the kid as their own but that young boy couldn't care less about them. The only thing he would talk about was his brother waiting at home for him, his brother that took care of him, who played with him, who protected him from the monsters in the closet. He spoke about his brother that held his hand when his heart hurt. He spoke about how when he was sick the medicines could never put him to sleep the way his brothers voice would." Tears made their way to Renjuns eyes as memories of everything Doyoung had mentioned came flooding into his mind but he held them back, too stubborn to let them fall.

"Every time he came he would tell us about how handsome his brother was and how talented his brother was. He would brag about how he wanted to spend his whole life being this faceless boys little brother." Renjun sniffed, roughly wiping away his tears before they could leave his eyes as he looked at Doyoung who continued to speak. "I owe it to him, a small kid that really gave me a different view and perspective on life to take care of this amazing brother" Doyoung finished speaking and Renjun broke into a sob, turning away and hiding his face. You got up from where you were seated and walked to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind, hugging him. Your heart broke every time he shook because of a sob. And that's when you knew, you knew you didn't want to continue like this. This beautiful boy deserved a happy life and so did you. You may feel like shit right now but you were going to change that and you were going to help the blond headed boy who stopped you from taking your life genuinely smile too.

"It's going to be a long journey and I know the two of you feel like it would never get better but it will. And I'll be there for the both of you during that time" Doyoung said sincerely and you looked at Renjun who looked at you through teary but hopeful eyes. You brought your hand up to Renjuns face, wiping a tear away as you felt his fingers interlock with your free hand and smiled. He smiled back at you, eyes still shining with fresh tears and you looked at Doyoung who stood at the side with an unreadable expression (but you could make out the hint of pride on his face) and you gave him a single, sharp nod. "We're going to get better." You looked at Renjun, "We're going to move forward"

"We'll take baby steps"

This is the first time I've written something so heavy so feedback would really be appreciated.

Let me know about your thoughts on this story.

It took a long while to come to a final story line/plot and even longer for me to want to post this.

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mrsmarlasinger · 3 years ago

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I can tell I'm losing weight because I look good and I completely fucked my period again. My skin is relatively clear. I'm getting back into working out. I only have a week and a half left of my eight-week t-break, and then I have my brand-new RoboTabs to try. I'm finally starting to get over this horrible cold (not COVID, I tested twice). I have my degree. I have a hot girlfriend, I'm in the longest and most stable romantic relationship of my life, and I lost my v-card just after Christmas. Everything is finally coming together.

And it doesn't matter that I'm jobless and living with my parents and miserable and lonely and numb and worthless and lazy and bored. It doesn't matter that I'm cutting again and I hate myself and my life and the pandemic and everything I've ever been and anything I could ever become. It doesn't matter how hard I cried last night, or that I slept not at all.

And so what if all I do is wish away the days until I can get fucked up again? My mind is this nothing little void of fucking bullshit when I'm sober. I'm terrified I'll fry my brain, so scared of getting any dumber I could cry, but what the fuck else can I do? I'm so bored of living and there is nothing I want but to be hot and thin and high. My life is empty. My life is nothing more than the supposition of a breeze on a day too cool to need it: this frail wisp of a thing you forget before it's even done.

I can't even spiral to have something to do, because I am unable to drive and I cannot leave my house without my parents' knowledge (if only because of all the fucking security cameras they're always checking) and I am so utterly helpless, so wholly dependent on my friends just to get a fucking rum and Coke. If I can't buy it on Amazon, knowing full well my mother will probably open the package, I can't have it. My contraband stash is limited to my edibles, my girlfriend's nude Polaroids, and my vibrator, all of which were given to me by others.

The tragedy of my life is that there is no tragedy. Only monotony, only my stupid teen angst bullshit (but I'm 21, not a teen—what's my excuse?), and so I spend all day in bed and cut my thighs just for a breath from my pointless, privileged, rich-girl ennui.

I miss showing up to class hungover and fresh out of the shower, hair still dripping, looking like death warmed over. I miss showing up to check-out at CVS with vodka, Robitussin, Band-Aids, razors, and copious amounts of Bang. I miss taking the bus late at night, walking alone in the dark in downtown Honolulu with my phone half-dead and no idea where or when to catch the next bus, backpack rattling with pills. Day-drinking. Getting followed home from the beach. Waiting at a shitty bus stop long past sunset with my head all stupid and slow and warm from a glowing kava buzz. Robotripping the night before class and coming to campus sleepless and hungover. Pulling all-nighters. Vodka shots to cure headaches. Heart palpitations from all the goddamn caffeine. Walking to 7-Eleven at 2 AM for Monster, a box cutter, and a roll of paper towels.

Oh, I spent every day alone my last semester of college. All my friends were an ocean away. I was not some party queen, not some Platonic ideal of a 21-year-old. In all actuality, I barely drank, barely got high—maybe once or twice a week, if that (unless you count kava, but it's hardly more psychoactive than caffeine). I was just a sad little closeted lesbian on a Mormon campus, far too sad to do much of anything but stay up too late and buy grocery store sandwiches.

But I got alcohol poisoning, yes, I woke up on the floor after hours unconscious in a pool of my own vomit. I celebrated Thanksgiving with a two-day bender—damn straight addiction runs in my family. I had twelve-hour robotrips. I got a piercing. I drank a bottle of champagne in one sitting for my 21st birthday. I cut my wrists and didn't care who saw, because I was an adult and no one could fucking touch me.

I had the option to fall apart when I wanted to. I had, if not a job, at least my classes (and goddamn if I didn't fucking ace them. Guess who graduated early with honors?). Sure, I didn't pay my own rent, but I had a room to myself, and a bus card, and I subsisted on granola bars and bubble tea and energy drinks most of the time but at least I went grocery-shopping. No one told me what the fuck to do, not my friends or my therapist or anyone, and if they tried I'd do exactly the opposite because, god, I could.

And I know, I know, I know I was only playing at being an adult. I know I've never grown up, and I know I am too stupid and lazy and weak and helpless to do anything for myself, and anytime I try my father or my mother or someone will step in and take it over for me because apparently I can't be trusted to so much as choose my own plane ticket. But fuck, it was so good to pretend. Just for a few months, it was good to play at being unrepressed and free.

I cannot pretend anymore. I'm a child. And I'll always be a child. And I can't drive, I can't work, I can't get out of bed, I can't do my laundry or fix my nail polish or make my bed or cook or clean or read or feel like a person. Because I can't, because I'm worthless, and I know it, I know it, I fucking know it. I go to church because I'm told to. I do not rock the boat. I'm 16 and 14 and 12 and 10 forever. I aged past high school but I've already forgotten it.

I hate myself.

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b000mbayah · 3 years ago

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Without

Warnings: I wrote this last year when I was dumb so ignore how putrid it is :)

Word count: 2k

Snow gliding through the sky as it piles up on the concrete streets. The sky is cloudy as a mist fogs up our surroundings. Streets of Seoul full of people looking for gifts for relatives. The festive holiday is coming up and people are able to spend the day with loved ones. I used to be one of those people.

I lost my true love a month ago. It was a stupid argument over the most irrelevant thing imaginable, I was just so fuming at the time that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. It was a trap, either way I was screwed. If I had continued the argument it would have worsened and if I had stopped earlier she still would have left me.

I could see in her eyes that she was broken due to the amount of times I've done this to her. I broke her again... I've broken her for the last time, and now she's gone.

If I had said sorry she would have left, if I begged she would have left, if I had just stopped myself from shouting in the first place. She's scared of me now, her eyes so full of fear as she trembled on the spot. I'll never forget the way she looked at me every time.

The following mornings were full of me proving to her that I loved her whether she wanted it or not. I would have done anything to make her forgive my foolish actions, couldn't do that last month though. It all seems pointless, love. I mean there are positive and negative outlooks on love.

Love can fill you with pure joy and excitement to the point that you forget the numbness that you'll feel after it's over with.

It leaves you broken as if you're a ship with treasure that crashes onto land, losing all its precious moments and times as everything inside spills out, never to be found again.

There are more negatives to love than positives and I swear that I'll never forget her, she was the one I loved most and I let go of her hand, I let her slip and now she's gone.

watching her on stage made me cry every time, hearing the news JYP sent out made me depressed... hearing that she had to have a break from her schedules made me feel guilty.

I look around my room as I retreat away from the window, empty takeaway boxes and cans all around my room. My eyes droop down to my phone on the floor.

Cautiously, I crouch down and pick the electronic up off of the ground. I bite my lip as all my notifications pop up. Multiple miss calls and text messages from all my contacts.

I tap on my messages to see hundreds upon hundreds of messages from my contacts, all of my contacts had text me, all but one. The one that had deleted my number, I refuse to delete hers though, it contains too many memories for me to simply release into a void.

I gulp as I click onto Jihyo's contacts as our last conversation over the phone comes up. All of this was just before the final argument. I was questioning where she was and when she'd get home. She was only practicing with her other members in their dance studio, I let my jealousy get the best of me, again..

I throw the phone at the wall as I got dressed and headed out, I can't say in my apartment forever. I forced myself out the door for the building and into the chilly winter breeze. I inhaled and exhaled the fresh air before taking steps towards the supermarket.

Layers of trampled snow surround the street. As I pass shops I take a simple look inside.

"Y/N!" I turn on my heel to be greeted with my best friend running up to me, a member of twice. I let out a broken smile as sana springs up to me with a massive grin and arms open.

Within seconds she gives me a bone crushing hug. ''y/n, please tell me you're okay?" sana rushes in a speed faster than chaeyoungs rapping skills.

"yeah, I'm just.... Upset about the situation" I frown as she gives me a look of sadness. She nods her head and opens her mouth, "I'm upset as well, I really liked you two together" sana smiles at her words as I gulp, she really liked us together?

"I've been trying to contact you for weeks and weeks but nothing, please may I take you to dinner? You look like you haven't been eating the correct amount of food, I need to stuff you up I time for Christmas" sana says with a worried tone

"s-sure" I stutter out as she grabs my hand and takes me through crowds of people that surround the streets and up to a fancy restaurant where richer people would dine. "w-we cat eat here, it's to expensive, I don't want to cost you that much money"

"no y/n, it's okay, it's nothing really only a few hundred. My clothes are worth more than this'' sana giggles out as she gets us a table with a view of a frozen pond. It took us what? Twenty minutes to get here for a view I'd a pond with what's most likely to be frozen fish inside. I'm not complaining but like those poor fish...

"Take your time, when you're ready to order please ring this bell" a waiter explains as she hands us the menus. We thank her before she walks away.

"what do you fancy getting?" sama asks as I scan the menu's dishes. "urm, the... Mmmm"

"steak?" sana asks me as u nod and go along with the choice. Sana hums as she also decides on what she's getting. I ring the bell as the waiter from before comes back with a pen and notepad.

"what can I get for you ladies?" they ask as sana gives him the order. He bows and leaves us. I turn my head to sana who's wearing a permanent smile right now.

"please come round to our dorm, the girls miss you" I tilt my head before nodding.

"sure but I may have to avoid jihyo" sana frowns at my words but nods her head.

Soon after the meal I ended up at the dorm. Still have no idea how I'm going to deal with this but I'm just going to have to hope for the best I guess. Sana pushes the door open silently, we take our shoes off before continuing on. As we creeped up on tzuyu, even though there was no point, I managed to make eye contact with momo who was eating the packet of cookies I had sent her months ago. She must be really far behind in her food gifts if she's only eating them now.

I place a finger to my own lips as she nods and watches with curiosity filling her eyes.

As we were practically behind Tzuyu we both leap at the same time, causing tzuyu to let out a yelp as we all tumble to the floor. I let out a giggle as tzuyu groans due to the impact. "Get off of me you pathe- y/n?" tzuyu changes the subject half way through as notices me. I smile and give her a small wave. "what are you doing here?" she questions looking at me like she's trying to read me.

oh so I'm a book now????

"I invited her-" I cut sana off, "she dragged me here, oh it was awful, she demanded it and she explained how she would burn down my house and throw me in a ditch if I didn't come" I dramatically say as sana huffs out a gush of air.

"alright then... If you say so but please get off of me, you're both killing me" tzuyu states as we stand back up, dusting ourselfs off.

We enter the living room to see everyone here, including Jihyo...

"Y/N!" everyone in the room exclaims but Sana, Tzuyu and Jihyo. I somehow become covered with six different females as they squeeze me like a teddy bear. Once they all release me, I give them a wide smile and bow as they copy my action.

"y/n, how have you been? We've been busy with-" and I couldn't hear anything dahyun was saying, I am way more focused on Jihyo. Her expression is unreadable as she gulps from time to time. her eyes dart around to find an excuse to leave but nothing comes to her mind.

As soon as she looks up we lock eye contact. I forgot how much I loved those eyes, her eyes show dedication, passion, strength, love... All the things I wish I had. I probably sound whipped for her and the truth is, I am. I would do anything for us to get back together but that wont happen.

"right y/n?" I break eye contact as I respond with a simple nod since my throat is sore from all the crying and screaming I've been doing. I really have been beating myself up over this break up.

"I said that her hair looked like a donkey on steroi-" and blank out again as I make eye contact once again with Jihyo. Only this time we break it for a few seconds before reuniting our eyes.

Without me or Jihyo noticing, Tzuyu manages to take the other members away to give us alone time. Once we realise they're gone an awkward situation is placed between us...

"how have you been?" she begins as she examines the pictures hung on the walls. "pretty bad, you?" I respond as she gulps down on air. "same, what's your reason?"

I freeze, thinking on if should I tell her the truth or not? There's nothing wrong with the truth. "if I'm honest... I've been beating myself up about the breakup, I'm deeply sorry for how I treated you Jihyo. That month I had spent alone had given me time to reflect on my behaviour and what I have done" Jihyo looks at me with an interested look but there's also something else there. "continue..."

"the way I treated you during that relationship was completely irresponsible, I had spent that entire month locked up in my apartment crying about what I had done, I was so frustrated with myself that I couldn't bring myself to forget about it and I'm sorry if I'm invading your personal space by being here but I really hope that one day you can forgive me" my voice goes shaky towards the end as tears form in the corner of my eyes. Jihyo looks me up and down, about to say something when the door opens up.

I watch as a male walks up to Jihyo, I could only see the back of his head as he's asking her questions before turning around to face me. RM? "she doesn't want to see you, please leave her alone she has me now."

My eyes widen in shock but I bow and apologise once again before rushing out crying again. I rush past the other members who share a look of concern before chase after me calling my name. I ignore them though and continue to rush my way out of that place, not wanting to be there anymore due to the once sweet but now awful memories I have there.

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hissairi · 4 years ago

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Congratulations

It's the first time I've ever written anything related to twisted wonderland so I hope you enjoy it.

It is inspired by the movie "the corpse bride" and an episode of ranma 1/2

I apologize if it is not well written as English is not my main language

It was true that you loved idia from the first moment you saw him in nigth raven collage, his very shy way of being had captured your attention, and now here you were hiding next to Grimm, watching how ace, riddle, ephel and rook were trying to convince that unfortunate bride to marry one of them and put on that magic ring.

Although she had stolen from the person you loved to marry him as he was her "ideal prince ", which you also were, you were not angry with her, after all it was not her choice to die before finding the one who would be her prince, and it was not her fault to be wandering like a ghost without being able to find peace, you just couldn't hate her and even the idea of sealing her with a ring made you completely horrible, you felt sorry for her, But you also didn't want her to take idia's life, maybe you even felt a little jealous, but it's not that you could do much, now all your hopes were placed in your friends, it's not that you could do much, after all that girlfriend named eliza had already rejected several of your friends, and it's not that persuading a girlfriend was an easy task.

But as if fate wanted to reward that little bride for her long wait, your friends couldn't win her, your face was horrified to see riddle slapped hard and letting that magic ring fall off his hands when he was so close to putting it on, the ring all the way to where they were hiding looking at the whole show, this was wrong, well, it was worse than wrong, not only your feelings for idia but her life were at stake, The reputation of the school and poor ortho who loved his older brother.

Your face had a feeling of sadness, you wanted to help him, you wanted to be able to solve this, you wanted the bride not to suffer anymore, but the fact of wanting to do something is not enough, you also have to act, but if your friends, who were excellent magicians (well most) had fallen under the seal of the ghost bride, who would trust that you a simple human without magic, could save not only one of your best friends but also the one you loved, your face had no expression in space. Just looking into the void.

But just the mention of a single prayer made her heart collapse, "let the ceremony begin." those words made time stop... Time was what was needed to stop this madness, because it was 11 at night, I only had one hour, an hour that would last the ceremony to get married at 12... With all the pain in your heart you knew you couldn't do much for yourself, "come out of here Grimm, we can't do much here" you said while with a sad look you looked directly at idia, as if you wanted to apologize to him, you took the ring between your hands and turned away from the place.

They walked at a slow pace, while Grimm followed you closely and silently, you didn't want to see little ortho and tell him they had failed in their mission, not yet... As you kept walking you heard how the ceremony started with that wedding march that was so famous, even you had dreamed of it once, but not like this, as you went your way at the door you found a ghost sobbing, what was he doing there? You wondered internally, after all most of the ghosts were at the ceremony very happy to see how their princess had finally found her beloved prince.

Would it be ok to ask him why he felt sad? Well, you don't have much to lose either, you sat next to him and turned your back on him while you played with the ring between your fingers, Grimm curled up in your legs, "hey, why are you crying?" you asked him in a soft voice, because even if he was a ghost you didn't want to scare him, he turned around and you immediately recognized him as the one eliza called" his best friend." "It's not in your interest," I answer bluntly while turning my back. "Wait, aren't you friends with the ghost bride? , why aren't you at the ceremony, I just started?" Despite his rude words that you wanted to hear, it's not that you wanted to come back to give the bad news that you probably already knew," I told you it's not your human affair," you sighed deeply when you responded by looking at the already dark sky," you know... If you are really her friend you should go with her and support her... Just don't be a coward like me... I should have tried to help my friends but I hid and here I am running away from problems... Running away from fighting for the person I love "you said while a tear came out of your cheek, those last words burst the attention of the ghost who turned to see you," I love her" confessed the ghost silently, you turned to see her "I have loved her since we lived, but I could never say anything and I have no time todo so, after all she only sees me as her friend ".

There was a long silence between you two, three if we told Grimm that he was listening in silence to everything, you decided to look at the time on a watch that had been lent to you to see how much time they had left, 15 minutes to finish the ceremony, something was clear, you had run out of time... And as if a ray of hope had illuminated you came up with an idea and maybe the last hope of all, you looked at the ghost "you know... It's too late to try to stop the wedding, but it's not too late to be the first to say congratulations, it's the least we can do for them "you said as you smiled at the ghost even though your eyes will still run into a couple of tears.

You got up from your place as you put Grimm next to you, walker made some flowers that were nearby and cut some, forming a beautiful bouquet that you tied with the ribbon in the shape of a bow that was part of your uniform, you could get another one but could not get another idia "you know it would be rude of us to introduce ourselves without a gift" the ghost stopped from his place and you climbed Grimm on your shoulders, he whispered to your ear "what do you plan to do?" You just gave him in response a bass "you'll see ".

The three were running towards the cafeteria or in this case the place where the wedding would take place and before they could arrive some ghosts blocked their way, at that moment you thought that all is lost but that friend of the princess spoke before you could even open your mouth "it's okay she comes with me" those ghosts who acted as guards judged you with their eyes and let you follow your step.

You were in front of the cafeteria door, well, it was now or never a sigh as you heard those words that put at risk any wedding "if anyone opposes this wedding let them speak now or shut up forever" and at that moment you slammed open the doors, on your left side was Grimm and on the right the ghost, everyone was silent, the poor bride was furious while idia had a face of relief. The ghosts were about to attack you but before it moved out of place you spoke "I'm sorry for that, I think a little rough on my part" the bride watched your movements from the altar, you just walked down the main hallway with your two hands holding that bouquet you just made a moment ago, and between your hands that were covered with beautiful flowers you held the ring "I introduce myself, I'm a friend of idia and I... Sorry I meant us" you said as you turned to see the ghost next to you '"we just wanted to be the first to say congratulations'"

The bride smiled pleased by your words, while idia's face lost all its brilliance "in fact I have brought you this gift" you said showing that bouquet of flowers you held in your hands, you walked until you were in front of the bride, your heart beat quickly, it was now or never, when you put your hands on the bouquet you would put the ring "don't worry they are not poisonous flowers" you said with a smile she just looked at them and gave you a big smile, you felt your heart heavy. But you had todo it or that repeated in your mind, "thank you very much, you are really very kind" she said with a smile as she gave you a little kiss on the forehead and as if everything was moving in slow motion you saw her hands approaching the bouquet, you had todo it but you just couldn't, you didn't want to hurt her but you didn't want to lose idia either, you didn't know what else todo and when her hands touched yours under the arrangement, you collapsed. Dropping the bouquet and holding the ring against your chest.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do it" you started crying on your knees in front of idia, your friends looked at the scene in amazement, well it's not that they could do much in their current state either, "forgive me idia I want to save you but... I don't want to hurt you with the ring "more tears and sobs came out of you, eliza just looked amazed like the rest of the ghosts, idia just knelt down beside you while hugging you," forgive me..." He gently pulled you away from the embrace, "don't cry, it's ok... Although I would have liked to be able to read that comic by your side "you looked at it with tearful eyes" I also wanted to read it by your side, and not only that, also talk and play video games together for longer, why me... I... I love you idia "you said as you sobbed, he was silent as he hugged you and in a soft voice said" I love you too "and those words left you a bittersweet taste, you knew I loved you but now he would marry a ghost.

Eliza looked at the two embracing, she remembered that horrible day when her dream and life ended, her friend had comforted her in the same way although it also cost her her life, it was true idia was her ideal prince but... She didn't want to take her sleep away from someone as the world had done with her, she felt bad and even though the human was about to harm her she repented, she could feel that her feelings between them were real, she looked at her best friend sadly "you know... This is not right "she had realized the damage she had done" once they took away that dream of marrying my prince in some future, and now I am doing the same with someone else "she reached out to the two, who turned to see her still embracing," there will be no wedding, I... I am sorry for all the problems caused by "turning to see the others present" not only to them... To all, to my fellow ghosts and to the students of this school."

"I wanted to find my true love, my ideal prince like in fairy tales and fall in love with him, but I don't think it can be that way, but you've got it," she said with a sincere smile that you gave back. "y /n, Please take good care of him now and in the future "just a sigh and I look at idia" I'm sorry for everything I made you go through "I look at the other ghosts" I think it's time to give up "he gave a sigh and by an act of pure impulse you took his hands between yours" don't do it, it may not be as you describe it, but... I know someone who may be your ideal prince."

You took her friend's hands with your right hand and joined them with hers, whispered to him "come on tell him" and so he took a big breath of air and said "eliza I... I have loved you all my life and not life "eliza looked at him in amazement and there she understood something, she did not need a perfect prince, she needed someone to love her, and with all her strength she cried" the wedding is resumed "everyone had happy looks.

Again the wedding started with only a slight change of bride and groom and there you were sitting next to idia watching the ceremony. "If anyone opposes this union speak now or shut up forever" no one said anything, "well declared them husband and wife, you can kiss the bride" and the two ghosts kissed, everyone celebrated with applause and congratulations.

"Congratulations," you said to eliza as she hugged her, you held no grudge nor did she hold you despite so many emotions that had happened just a few minutes ago maybe hours, "thank you." she said happily, "thank you for what?" You asked her in confusion, "why thanks to you I found my prince and will finally be able to rest in peace," she said with a smile as she turned her back and threw her bouquet which, coincidentally or not, fell into your hands. "I'm glad you could have your happy ending in the end," you said with a smile as you looked at idia who gave you a gentle, cute kiss just like the fluttering of a small butterfly.

And as if nothing had happened the boys could move again and the school returned to its normal state as if there had never been a wedding. It was clear that ortho was happy to have his older brother back while principal crowley was reassured that they would not damage the school's reputation.

I hope you liked it and I'm sorry if the characters stayed as oc, but I still don't get used to writing to the twisted wonderland guys, I still couldn't get this out of my head.

#twisted wonderland #twst idia #idia shroud #twisted wonderland idia #ghost marriage #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #idia x reader #twst oneshot

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24hourdinerandotherhorrorstories · 5 years ago

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The Letter Forever Remembered

Dear (name is smudged out),

My story is an odd one. Most would even consider me the bad guy along with my family in my story. However, at the end of the day I'm so happy with my family and with the love of my many lives. Yes, you read that right, I have lived many lives with the same memories and the same needs as the one before. Always hopping into some sad little child corpse and taking it over. Never quite mentally growing, always flipping between childlike and forcing myself to be an adult without understanding what it really meant to be an adult. It never got easier and it's not something you can just get used to especially when your mind is mostly feral from isolation. My mind was broken after so many jumps between bodies and people rarely take in children that are damaged. Sometimes my adopted parents were human and feared me to a certain extent but many times after they were not and didn't fear me enough. However, they found me, the dark followers, they saw what I was and gave me a proper caregiver. I called her Mother, for she was the only one I ever considered true family.

Most humans around her couldn't understand why she would adopt and foster damaged children when she could have her own. But she always looked at us with happiness and pride. She told them we were children of her soul and called to her like no other, how could she deny that call? People would go quiet after that, mostly at how intense she was about us. She was patient with her broken children and we saw her as a divine being finally delivering us the peace we so desperately craved. We as her children could never quite figure out if she was human or something more, much like the dark followers that visited our home while we grew up. Growing up in such a dark home had it's terrifying moments. Even for one such as I, who had seen so much, was scare of some of the things I saw. I do not know how to begin this part of my story but I will try.

The one moment, the one special thing that always pushed me to live through all these horrible lives was her. I met her in my third...or was it fifth life and she was my everything. She was my soulmate, my twin flame, my sanity and the sweet love of my lives. Every life I met her, I would able to breath again. It was both a blessing so grand it brought me to tears but a curse so foul that physical torture would be better than the pain of seeing her die. She always dies before me in some horrific fashion. I would see the life leave her eyes as she told me she would find me again. She always did, no matter how much I hid, she would instantly grab me in a hug and happily say "where have you been hiding" before kissing me like she couldn't get enough of me. She never blamed me for her deaths, I sometimes wished she did. We both know our relationship was cursed to fall before her 30th year. Someone or something would tempt a friend or sibling into a jealous rage and they would kill her. It was just how it was, no matter how much we protected ourselves, she always died as blood would cover the ground while I wailed into an unseeing void. So it was a painful surprise when mom came in one day, with my love gripping her hand tightly. She looked so small then in her child body but her eyes shown with dark humor at her situation before she tackled me to the floor. Only words leaving her as we hugged were "going through puberty again and remembering, is going to suck".

Things were great at first. We did everything together and slowly relearned our love for each other from friendship to a romantic relationship. We got into a lot of mischief which led us into many punishments and awkward situations. Mother grin at every moment of it and was happy for us. I couldn't have loved my mother more in those moments. But something started hovering over us when we turn 21. Mother started getting more protective of us and my siblings. Mother's eldest children were always seen coming and going rapidly through the week. Some of her eldest children seemed to grow more and more vicious as they stole money from the house. The dark followers would yank them away from us when we would work outside in the garden, speaking in harsh voices as they went into the house. Mother's face was constantly forced into a frown as her eyes showed deep sadness and disappointment. It was odd to my slightly fractured mind how mother could raise such horrid people. But my soulmate always told me "you can't blame everything on the parent for how their child turns out, sometimes things are just outside of the parents control."

When we turned 30, my soulmate was brutally tortured and murder by some of Mother's eldest children. The pain of feeling her life slip away all over again was excruciating because she thought this was going to finally be our happy ending. She strokes my cheek as she choked on her blood, her body was carved up in symbols. The carvings were so deep that I could spot her bones underneath, not that she had much weight on her in that moment. Something in me broke completely at seeing her that way. I'm not proud of what I did but damn did i enjoy it. The dark followers and Mother brought them to me, passed out and threw them at my feet. I looked up in surprise mostly because these were her children. Mother gave me a dark look full of hatred as she said they weren't her children but they are your blessings. I didn't understand completely what she meant but I also didn't care.... I enjoyed smashing their heads under my foot, I enjoyed ripping each and every bone from their screaming bodies before looking into their eyes as they breath their last breath. I painted the walls in there blood as Mother watched with a sad smile. I destroyed them through the night as I couldn't be bother to shift back to my human form. At this point I was just a feral beast mourning their soulmate. I passed out as the sun greeted the day, in a pile of bodies and broken furniture.

I didn't talk for years after that day. I hid away with Mother, only working around the house but remaining unseen. I couldn't look my siblings in the eyes after everything even if they understood. They gave me the space I needed but always left me gifts or snack with little notes attached about how they were doing and how much they loved me. I cried so much those years, I couldn't even pull my self out of my isolation to greet my nieces and nephews. Everyday it took longer and longer to change into my human form and even harder to hold together. This time it felt like I lost far more than I ever imagined.

When I was 40, Mother said it was time to finally get my blessings. I still didn't know what she meant so I just shook my head and curls up in my bed and wrapped my wings around me. Mother wouldn't take no for an answer and lifted me out of my bed. I panicked because Mother was never forceful with me even after everything. I couldn't stop the panic attack that invade my mind and didn't hear my mother trying her hardest to calm me while I screamed then everything went black. I awoke in a soft bed with silk sheets, clothes set out to be worn and robes hanging behind the door. Mother was sitting in the chair near the bed I was in, her eyes were closed but she was not resting. I whimpered because I thought I was finally being punished for everything that happened but Mother just pulled me to my feet, told me to get cleaned up and dressed. I obediently did as I was told and even made sure to groom my damaged wings. Wings that I had to grow back after in a moment of weakness and too many bottles of the strongest alcohol I could find.

She put a blindfold over my eyes and held my furred hand as she led me around. I had no clue where I was or who was there, the scents were so new that it felt like the place popped up overnight. When we came to a stop, I tensed at the one familiar scent. I started crying, sobbing at what mother was doing to me. I couldn't understand why she was punishing me this way before gently hands removed my blindfold. I gave a shaky gasp at the sight before me. It was a my beautiful ethereal soulmate, the love of my many lives, right there in the flesh, with tears of happiness in her eyes. Her eyes are what threw me off, they were a misty green color which was a contrast to her deep brown almost black eyes of before. I flinched at the voice that spoke to everyone in the room. My soulmate held me close as the being spoke. The being was named by the dark followers as The Guardian. I thought it was a myth of some crazed but loving cult. I was terrifyingly wrong, this creature was all consume like the void given form. They spoke about my pain and how my family step in to bring me peace. They told me the woman at my side was my soulmate brought back from death through a union of souls. The union was so deep that no matter the situation neither will pass on until they chose to and that they will never feel the pain of heartbreak ever again. I though I would pass out at the amount of information being thrown at me by the being holding my future. I shakily asked what the catch was and they grinned back along with the woman and teen at their side. The smiles should have been horrifying but all I could do was calm down and give a small smile back.

After the events of that day and getting my love back, things have been great. I still have a lot of setbacks but The Guardian and Mother found me a great therapist who also happened to be the same breed of creature I am! I'm still growing as a person in many ways even if I feel older than the trees in my front yard. The pain still comes back from time to time but my family takes care of me well and I'm really and genuinely happy for once in a long time. I guess this is my first and last letter to you but I just wanted to thank you for stepping in when you did and bringing me to Mother so many decades ago. I know you paid a price to force me into this life as a way to give me happiness. I hope to one day see you again my very first father and I love you even if I do not know you.

Sincerely your beloved daughter,

Akasha Dawnshard

#the 24 hour dinner

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ashe-cat · 6 years ago

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Thunderstorms Ch. Prequel

Tempest

So here it is, the first chapter to my first fanfic. I’m no writer so if anyone has any advice for me I’ll gladly take it! If youre a Dragon age fan you probably be able to understand whats being said! You can also read it here on AO3.

Also shout to friend @karumasa for helping me when she could, and also shout my favorite orc writers, @morphinetune @dust-bun @seventyfiveapples and @bonnietakesnosh-t . After writing this chapter I have stronger appreciation for what you guys do as writer, writing isn’t as easy as it seems!

It has always amazed me how quickly a person's life can change; almost like a thunderstorm. It starts off small, but then slowly builds into a crescendo of powerful emotions. Building upon every life changing event, till finally reaching one's pinnacle of serenity and understanding.

My great grandmother once told me that thunderstorms brought our family luck. She said with storms, they brought rains that could wash away all of our sadness, our pain, and all our troubles. They were our sign of clarity and rebirth.

My rebirth….

……………………………………………………

…………………….

………

…

Rain is believed to have a calming effect on people; from the spine tingling sensation when it hits the body just right, to the way it's soft thrum lulls the spirit. Sadly it seemed that the downpour outside of the car could not even begin to quell the storm of emotions brewing in a young mother heart. Her heart felt more cold and dreary than the starless night that she and her companion were driving through. The only thing that gave her solace and anchored her to reality was the shallow breathing of a child. Her child. She often found herself staring and holding her own breath, every time there pause between breaths she couldn't the sinking feeling in her gut

wondering “will this be my child last breath!?”.

“She's going to be alright Aminata, she's stable now.” As if a spell had been lifted, Aminata instantly turned to whom the deep velvety voice belonged to.

“I'm worried for you, love. You both have a long journey head and you haven't slept since we started.”

Offering him a small smile she finally turned back to face the window “I can't… I keep have this feeling she won't make it through night. Are sure she's alright Fenrir?”

As if to calm even his rising doubt, he briefly viewed the child's condition through the rear mirror.

“I'm sure, and the crystal will ensure she's stable until we reached the checkpoint. Once we reached the house I'll finish the healing process. He replied, taking hold of her and giving a chaste kiss to her knuckles. “Until then rest my love, we only have an hour left”

Letting out a soft whimper Aminata slowly allowed herself to succumb to exhaustion.

………………………………………………………..

…………………..

…….

Aminata wasn't sure what woke her first, it was either the SUV coming to a stop or the labored breathing coming from the back seat. Whatever it was she knew without a doubt something wasn't right.

“Fenrir!!”

“Shhh… It's okay Ami, we're here.” Fenrir quickly replied, trying to calm her by taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. “Grab your things, I'll grab da'len and bring her to the house.”

Before she was completely out of his reach, Fenrir pulled her into a quick embrace.

“I know this is happening all too quickly and I can only imagine how frighten you must be but… Var lath vir suledin… I promise.”

Moved beyond words all Aminata could do was tighten her embrace on him. Letting him go, she gathered her things and headed towards the house. After watching her leave Fenrir finally made his way to the SUV’s back passenger door, opening the door it was clear to him that the child inside was deteriorating fast. Time was of the essence and he needed to move the child to house now in order to treat her. With the utmost care he carefully gathered the child in his arms and began heading towards to the house.

For being only a short distance from the vehicle to the house, time itself seem to stretch on for eternity. They had been traveling for a better part of a week, and all along the way they were met with some setbacks. Even with all of those setbacks none of them felt as difficult as this short walk.

All Fenrir wanted to do was breath a sigh of relief that the journey was over, but that was then furthest thing from the truth. So many emotions filtered through his mind, the prominent being guilt and dread.

The sense of trepidation within him was so strong, that Fenrir swore one could hear the thundering of his heart. He was so overwhelmed with all possibilities the next few hours had in store for him.. and his da'len.

His poor, sweet da'len. She was just shy of her fifth birthday, she was already shaping to be a beautiful and intelligent woman. Looking at her now though, one could only see a mere husk of her former self.It made Fenrir's heart ache to witness her in this state. Skin that once a rich and warm as fresh coffee with cream, was now more of a ashen gray with black splotches scattered about, and those beautiful. Eyes that once held color that could rival any dusk sunset; now looking upon them was like looking at the reflection of the dark grey void of despair locked within his heart.

Lost in his inner turmoil, that Fenrir barely noticed small hands grazing the ends of his shoulder length hair. Large sunken grey eyes stared up at him, and it took all of his willpower not to break down on the spot.

“Da’len you're awake!!” he exclaimed gently, while moving a tassel of curls. “Everything is going to be okay soon, I promise.”

He was so captivated with those eyes that he hadn't even realized he had taken the last few steps towards the house. Tearing his eyes from the child he became aware of a smartly dressed woman waiting for them on the porch.

“Fen'Harel ma ghilana. It's time Fenrir… are you ready?” the woman asked quietly, all while her gaze quickly flickered between him and the child.

“Ghil-Dirthalen. I am, but..” he replied, glancing quickly down at the child only to stare back at the woman. “Give me a moment.. Please.”

With a small smile and a nod, the woman turned and receded back into the shadows of the house.

This was it, there was no place to go but forward. The next few hours held no certainties of anything promising. So with these scarce minutes he wanted them to mean something.

“Ma vhenan.”

Recognizing that he was addressing her, the child stopped her play with his hair and gave him her full attention.

“Thing a are going to very different from now, but I want you to know that no matter what I… As latha ma vhenan, and I always will.”

For being just a child it was amazing to see just how intuitive she was. She may not fully understand what was going on, but she knew well enough that something wasn't right. Her large eyes instantly swelled with tears and Fenrir did his best to prevent them from falling.

“Shhh, vhenan, everything is going to be fine, I promise. Remember I'm your abo, and I'll do anything to protect you.”

Out of his peripheral vision he could see that someone was once again in the doorway. It was time. With a heavy sigh, Fenrir gathered the child as close as possible to him. If these were truly their last moments, then he wanted to able to remember the way she felt in his arms and the way she smelled.

“I love you and I always will my little Cerrid…………

………………

“DWEN! CERRIDWEN!! CERRIDWEN ATIENA ANDUNË!!! Honey it's time to wake up!!” came a annoyed feminine voice, muffled by the bedroom door.

Letting out a long groan, Cerridwen rolled in bed and sat up to face the door. Not even bothering to turn off the obnoxious artificial crowing coming from her phone.

“You can come in momma.” She replied releasing a long yawn in the process.

Walking in and clearly annoyed with her daughter, Aminata picked up the phone and promptly silenced the offensive alarm.

“I swear Cerri if you're not going to wake up when your alarm goes off why bother setting one. The stupid thing been going off for… Cerri, love are you alright? Why are you crying?” Aminata asked, her face and voice instantly softening when saw her daughter's face.

“Huh” touching her face, Cerri became aware that she had indeed been crying, and pretty hard if her swollen eyelids were anything to go by.

“ Love did something happened, are you pain? Is your chest bothering you again?”Aminata asked tenderly, seating herself on the bed next to Cerri and slowly wiping away her tears.

“No, I'm fine mom I just had a weird dream.”

“What did you dream about?

Thinking for a moment, her expression went from blank to utter confusion. Looking at her mom's concerned face, Cerridwen opened her mouth as if to say something, to only then close it and turn towards the window. Watching the first few drops of rain hit the glass.

“That's just it mom…”

I don't remember...

#cerridwen #bright elf #bright oc #netflix bright #bright #bright orcs #my fanfic stuff #thunderstorms fic #fenrir #aminata #orcs #monster boyfriend #elf #half elf #protagonist poc #thunderstorms

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danie1-sava9e · 3 years ago

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Corner Creatures

"The shadows and the damned, they lurk in the corner of existence, your vision, your eyes. A cold presence with the formation of an endless skein slowly wrapping around your heart, tightening as you crumble." These are the words a man once told me, a man who is no longer a part of this world. A man who was found mutilated in his home 3 years ago today.

The colossal slam as the letterbox closed almost sent me through the roof. "Bloody ridiculous" I muttered to myself as I ventured down the hall towards my front door. I'm not sure why, but I can't explain the feeling I felt when his letter came through the letterbox. No matter how hard I try. Sadness? No that's not it, I don't think there is a way to describe how I felt in words. I just stood there staring at the decayed and putrid envelope as I was engulfed by its horrific nature.

"Shit," I said to myself. "These fucking kids."

I had fully convinced myself that this was some sick animals idea of a joke, I could not have been farther from the truth. After a long day at work, I arrived home, drenched from the unforgiving "Mother Nature" as they say, but that's life I suppose, yeah, life. Settling down with a bottle of beer and my favourite T.V show I heard something fall off of the table behind me, it was the letter, it lay there still and damp yet I felt it call out to me, pulling me towards it. As I bent down to pick it up after my long journey from the couch I felt as if I would vomit, it had only been 9 hours since this morning yet the smell had grown thicker and the touch had become grimier. Opening the envelope without ripping it was a mission but I eventually got there, God I wish I hadn't. The letter lay on the table in front of me, it was just as damaged and wrinkled as the envelope was, a lot of the writing was smudged but one word that stuck out to me was "Branch" A name I had earned after falling from a tree back when I was deployed in Afghanistan. My heart sunk at the site of this, to you it may seem like a funny joke or a game, but my squadmates were the only ones to use that name, the same squadmates that were slaughtered by enemy forces leaving 2 alive, me and. Him. I stood there for a while, thinking back to all the horrible memories I wish I could erase, but it is in the past. Terrified, I finally decided to read the letter after a long silence, as I said though, a lot of the words were smudged and incomprehensible but this is what I got from it.

"To Branch.

Hey, it has been a while, how are you doing? I know the last time we spoke it ended rather bad, but I just want you to know that I really do care about you. Look, something is happening and I don't know if I am losing my mind or this is some joke but, they won't go away. I see them in the corner of my eye, sometimes standing still and sometimes sprinting towards me, but when I turn towards them, they are gone. They look like shadows but there is something about their eyes, red, glowing. Shit, I think I may have even seen Fergus and Bubbles earlier, just standing there in the very edge of my provisional vision, whispering. Hell, maybe I am going crazy, it really is like being back in those bunkers, you think you see someone but when you look, no one. I don't know what is going on but the police won't do anything and I can't do very much in this old wheelchair of mine, come see an old man will ya kid? Even if it is just for a couple of hours, I would truly appreciate it. I have several lifetimes worth of beer and I'm sure Milly and the new pup would love to see you too. Thank you for sticking with me this long kid, after everything that's happened, you have no idea how much it means to me.

Thanks, Darryn"

The first time I read this my eyes had already swelled up and I was in tears, one of my best friends was calling for help and I never knew, he was played with, then murdered by thugs. I never even thought to ask myself how it took 3 years to travel a 3 hours trip and that was the biggest mistake of my life. Once I had washed my face and calmed down a little bit, I heard footsteps. quiet, but audible, right behind me.

An overwhelming sense of dread filled the air, the room still and silent. A distant voice in my head protested every thought that came into my mind and so I stood there, entirely mute until, they froze. At that moment, my head acknowledged my urge to see who stood beyond and well, you probably guessed it, it was no one, not a soul, the only thing remaining being the never-ending hallway leading downstairs.

After reluctantly jotting it up to stress and my mind playing tricks on me I headed to bed, that was one of the most regretful decisions of my life. Those nightmares, flashes of lights, visions of dead relatives, even myself. But that sound, god that fucking sound, an ear-piercing low yet high pitched moan, it filled my ears, my head, it was unbearable. I started to sense wetness on my arms and legs, it was, blood, my skin seemed to peel back, splitting at the seams slowly transitioning from my body to a foundationless heap of flesh on the ground. I could not move nor speak, all I could do is merely watch as finally, my face ripped. What used to be covered by the surface of skin began to boil, a horrendous sensation of what felt like I was being showered with acid, corrosive liquid digging through me, seeping through every crevice, melting bone and destroying everything within reach. With all of this, paralyzed I remained.

I have never sat up so fast in my life, I basically fell out of my bed before sprinting to the nearest mirror. I was trickling with sweat and shaking like a mad man, I wasn't sure what to make of everything I just witnessed, but at least I still had my skin. I stared into the mirror for a long while, my skin didn't feel like my own and my body felt hollow, simply a shell for a perpetual void of endless capacity. Continuing my morning I reached work and I could feel myself remaining on edge, I felt like I was being watched from every possible direction and I hated it. Paranoia inflamed my thorax like a matchstick and I could barely take it, I searched my desk for anything to distract myself but when I looked down, I was holding the letter. I began to feel dizzy and fell. My body slammed onto the carpet and groups of muffled voices surrounded me, I looked around dazed, confused and before I could even think, I lost my consciousness.

When I woke up I was in the Medical Room of where I work and after about 30 minutes of a back and forth with the Nurse, I was sent home for the day and told to take it easy. I accepted defeat and took a slow drive home, I don't know what it was, but something didn't feel right at all when I opened my front door, everything was in place, but something just felt off. That night I lay there, unable to sleep, deep in my own thoughts about the past few days, I was soon dragged out of my head by an ungodly scream of a man, it bounced off of every wall and rang throughout the house, I sat in fear, that fear then became terror when I heard footsteps from my staircase. They were wet, hard footsteps and they were coming my way, very, very slowly. I began to hear moaning outside of my door, a groan of a person who was in an inconceivable state of mind. It kept going and going, what was once a moan was now an agonizing scream, it began banging on the door with more strength than a bull and eventually, the door opened.

The door opened slowly with a sound that I cannot describe and then it was quiet once more, I looked around and just before my eyes reached the left corner of my room, I froze. In the corner of my room stood a tall black figure, a shadow, with big red eyes, it's neck twisted and torn in unimaginable ways. It started twitching and soon it was approaching me, fast, but when I looked, it vanished. Just like that, it was gone, whatever demon stood before me was exactly what Darryn described word for word.

The air fell cold, far colder than anything I had felt before, whispers from every direction filled my head with excruciating pain and that's when I saw him, or, them. Darryn, Fergus and Bubbles stood at the bottom of my bed, they stared at me with blank faces, emotionless entirely. They all resembled the same friends I had grown up with, but their eyes, they had no goddamn eyes, there was nothing inside, an endless tunnel of sin and misery. I wanted to call out to them but before I could even get a word out, their mouths began to move, fast, jumbled, the only catch, no sound came out. The room remained silent as Bubbles jaw cracked, skin tearing, Fergus had a sick smile on his face, an ear to ear grin, blood dripped from his toothless mouth, but Darryn? Darryn stood there motionless, crying tears of blood, they trickled down his face and onto the floor.

Darryn spoke, this time with an audible yet sickening tone. He said but one word.

"Branch"

He smiled at me and then all 3 of them looked in different directions around me. During all of this, I failed to realise, I was completely surrounded, my peripheral vision filled with the same red eyes I knew so well. I was being closed in on, no matter where I looked, only one would vanish, then reappear when I looked at another, they were playing with me all along, toying with my fear. I started to panic and tried to get away with every bit of strength in me, but it was no use, they grabbed me and slammed me down onto my bed with my head on its side, I could see them staring down at me, dozens of them with their sick fucking eyes.

They had no facial features besides their eyes yet they exhaled an awful sound of a dying animal. This went on for what I perceived as an eternity before it finally happened, I watched in horror as one of them held my head still and another brought what appeared to be 2 fingers over my eyes and pressed in on them. A pressure unlike any other permeated my eye sockets, I felt as my eyeballs turned to mush in my own head, blood rushing to the now exposed holes in my skull, I screamed in pain that I cannot describe, I just kept screaming, the remains of my eyes dripping from my skull in a thick mushy mess, the entities let me go but I knew for a fact that those fuckers were still there, smiling.

I could sense a hand over my stomach, it was rubbing it, I hated it.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I screamed, lashing out, I tried to kick or punch any of them, but no contact was made. I felt another wave of agony as my stomach was cut, a sharp, never-ending feeling of nausea came over me and I vomited, all of my limbs were being cut now and then it all came to an end when what felt like a sledgehammer thrashed through my belly.

A thick coppery liquid filled my mouth, I knew what it was, I was no alien to blood. I could feel all of their eyes on me, many, many more than before, a gentle cold slowly came over me as crimson fluid entered my lungs pumping them full. I thought about Darryn, Bubbles, Fergus and all of my fallen comrades, the pain they had gone through was now my own. tears slipped down my blood-soaked face and into my mouth, I knew this was the end, I'm coming my friends.

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #creative writing #horror #psycological horror #creature #paranormal #newwriterscommunity #series #short story #wattpad

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