#i can't drink much/any alcohol for medical reasons

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

I WANT A HEART TATTOO!

I'LL NEVER GET IT REMOVED!

synopsis// suguru gives you your first tattoo.

➚ pairing// tattoo artist!suguru geto x gn!reader

➚ word count// 2k

contents// friends to lovers, tattooed and pierced geto, reader is a chicken, mentions of drinking, maybe like the ittiest bittiest type of suggestive toward the end...? slightly teasing/cocky geto?

notes// this is kinda cringe but i am cringe and free. also this was inspired by heart tattoo by joyce manor (dont play with me rn.) hoping this will help hold yall off till i can finish the smau...

Geto meticulously cleans up his tattoo station, occasionally stopping to take a swig of the beer you so kindly brought him. 

“You’re quiet.” 

You hum as you take a sip of your own beer. 

He stops and turns around to face you, his eyebrow raised. “Why?” 

“I like watching you clean.” 

Geto laughs. Not just a small one either, but the kind that makes his nose crinkle and his cheeks bunch to the point his eyes are forced closed. You ignore the butterflies in your stomach, blaming it on the alcohol (even if this is only your first beer and definitely not enough to have any sort of effect on you, but you digress). 

“What’s so interesting about watching me clean anyway?” 

You huff, ignoring the increasing heat on your face. “I don’t know... Just shut up and finish cleaning, Suguru. I wanna leave.” 

He smiles and turns back around, continuing to clean. “I told you you could go home.” 

“And leave you to fend for yourself?”

“I’m a grown man.” 

“Whatever… Besides, I can’t drink all these beers by myself.” 

Geto doesn’t say anything, but his shoulders shake slightly with a small, silent laugh, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. You love his little quirks. You always have.

maybe a little too much.

Meanwhile, he picks up his tattoo machine and stares at it. There’s nothing particularly interesting about it; it’s just plain black, freshly wrapped in some black medical tape. 

“Hey Y/N?” 

“Something wrong?” 

He shakes his head and turns to face you again, tattoo machine still in hand. “You still don’t have any tattoos, huh?” 

“Um, no,” you respond sheepishly. “I’m not like scared or anything-“ 

“I wasn’t gonna say that.” 

“Oh. then what were you gonna say?” 

“Can I give you a tattoo?” 

You blink at him. It’s not like you don’t trust him. You trust Geto with your life. You trust him more than anyone or anything in the world. Shit, you might trust him even more than you trust yourself. It’s just…

Geto impatiently groans at your lack of answer. “Oh, cmon, you literally promised me when we were younger that you would let me tattoo you!” 

“That was when we were like twelve!” you scoff, in disbelief he’d throw something as old as that in your face… Maybe he’s been hanging around Gojo too much. 

“Give me one good reason why you won’t let me tattoo you.” 

You frown as you look away, and right away you can hear his footsteps as he places himself in your line of vision again. raising his eyebrows as if to ask, “well?”��

You mumble something under your breath that he doesn’t quite catch. “Y/N, you know I can’t hear you when you do that.” 

“I actually am scared!” you finally say loud enough for him to hear, and it comes out more like a single word than a full sentence.

Geto can't help but giggle, quickly slapping his hand over his mouth, but not even that helps.

“Suguru, this isn't funny; I'm being vulnerable here!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he says through stifled laughter before finally calming down enough to clear his throat. “You're right, it isn’t funny,“ he pauses for a moment. ”Wanna know something?”

“What?”

“Getting tattooed scares me too.”

“Liar,” you scoff. “You're covered in them.”

Geto shrugs. “Doesn’t mean it’s not unnerving each time.”

“I just don’t want it to hurt,” you explain with a slight pout.

“It’s a needle going in and out of your skin, Y/N.”

“Exactly!”

“Fine,” Suguru says with a sigh, and you think that's it; he's done, but not even a few seconds later does he speak up again: “What if I said I'll be gentle?”

“Haha.” Your brain immediately short circuits, and the butterflies in your stomach are something you can't blame on the alcohol this time. “Huh.”

Geto laughs softly. “With your tattoo?”

You nod blankly, your brain still not working properly and not yet actually computing what he’s still asking you.

“Yes?” he confirms excitedly.

“Yeah…” Finally, it hits you. “Wait, no! I mean, no. and not to mention you’ve been drinking?”

“Like two sips, Y/N,” he says with a slight pout and roll of his eyes. “You know better than anyone; it takes a lot more than that to get me drunk.”

“Okay, well, what about me? Isn't it bad to get tattoed when you’ve been drinking?”

“Oh my god, just say yes or no. You know I won’t be mad if you decide not to.”

You stare deep into Geto’s eyes, and he’s not lying; he won't be mad. disappointed, sure, but not mad. never mad, never when it comes to you. And right then and there, your conviction crumbles into a million tiny pieces, just dust in the wind.

“…fine”

“fine?”

“You can tattoo me. But!" you exclaim, pointing a finger at him as if lecturing him, “it has to be small! and somewhere where it doesn’t hurt.”

“Okay, I can't guarantee that last part, and you know that,” he says blankly.

You sigh in defeat. “Yeah, I know.”

Geto smiles at you softly and coos, “But I will try,” as he gently caresses your cheek before breaking away and turning around to pull back out the stuff he needs.

You stand there wide-eyed, and your jaw dropped. Geto is affectionate, sure, but he’s never been that affectionate. He couldn’t feel the same way, could he? You shake your head, denying that thought, even despite how hot you feel.

He just did that to comfort you.

That’s all.

He was just trying to be reassuring.

That's it.

At least that's what your brain is trying to say, but your heart is saying another with the way it violently beats against your rib cage.

The minute he turns around, you compose yourself, shutting your mouth and hoping to god he doesn’t notice your chest heaving almost uncontrollably.

Geto pats his tattoo chair. “Sit.”

You hesitate, standing there like a deer in headlights.

Geto clicks his tongue dramatically before grabbing your hand and leading you to his chair, mumbling a reassuring, “Trust me.”

You frown, placidly letting him drag you around like a rag doll. “I do trust you.”

“Then sit.”

And when he says it like that, how can you say no? When he’s staring at you so intently that it’s almost as if he can see right through you, how do you say no? You cant. So you don't. The only thing you can do is—petulantly—plop down into his tattoo chair.

“Sit right and lay your arm on the armrest.”

“No, do it like this.” By ‘this’ you mean with you hunched over and your arm resting on your leg rather than the armrest like Geto is telling you to.

He sighs deeply. "Y/N, your arm resting on your leg is not stable enough. like at all.”

“Do it like this or not at all.”

“Fine.” He raises an eyebrow at you in mild disapproval and says, "But if it comes out bad, it’s not my fault.”

You roll your eyes, unamused. Geto would never let anything he puts on your body come out even remotely bad. “Whatever.”

“Why like this anyway?”

“Because it’s comfortable..?”

Not really.

Like at all.

Actually, this is extremely uncomfortable, and you're sure your back will hate you later, but this gives you the best view of Geto, and that's all you care about.

“Okay, fine,” he says, not bothering to put up much more of a fight before getting in position. “Ready?”

“Yeah…” Not even a second later, you blurt out, “Wait!”

Geto’s head shoots up, his concerned eyes scanning your face intently. “What? What is it?”

You don't say a word; instead, you grab onto his shoulder with your free hand, prepared to claw into it if and when need be.

“Is that why you’re sitting like this?” He asks, a smug smile creeping onto his face as it finally hits him. “You just wanted to hold onto me?”

You nod sheepishly.

Geto smiles. “Are you ready now, then?”

You nod again.

but that's not good enough for him. He wants a real reply. “For real this time?”

“For real this time.”

Geto doesn't miss a beat, and you close your eyes as your face scrunches up in anticipation, your nails already sinking into his shoulder. But the minute the tattoo machine actually meets your skin, you peek one eye open because all you really feel is some vibration and the tiniest of scratches. It doesn’t hurt that bad at all, actually; it’s more than tolerable, and with that, your hand relaxes against his shoulder, still resting on it but no longer gripping him like he’s the only thing tying you to this earth.

It’s not long after that the feeling fades into the background of your mind, like a blur. Being tattooed isn’t even a thought in your brain at all right now. Geto could be tattooing a dick on your arm right now, and you wouldn’t even know because the only thing you can focus on is him.

The only thing you can ever focus on is him, if you’re being honest.

But right now, something is different. Seeing him in his element makes your knees go weak, and you’re grateful for the fact that you’re sitting. and suddenly you don’t know why you’ve never let him tattoo you sooner. You’d let him tattoo you a thousand more times if it meant you got to see him like this. He somehow makes the way he focuses look like art���from the way his brows are knitted together in concentration to the way he absentmindedly bites and fiddles with his lip piercings—it’s all art; he makes it look too beautiful. like he’s more modeling and pretending to focus than actually doing it. You involuntarily let out a deep, longing sigh, your eyes fluttering close in the process.

Geto’s gaze flits up to your face. “You're not about to pass out on me, right?”

You open your eyes and meet his gaze with a small, content smile on your face. “No, I'm fine, Suguru.”

“I mean, if you were, that would be fine too, because I'm done,” he replies, turning off his tattoo machine and moving away from you.

“Already?!” you ask, slightly shocked. It didn't feel like it had been that long.

“Yeah,” he says plainly as he stands up and starts quickly cleaning up his workstation once more. "Don't know what you were so scared of, dork.”

You open your mouth, ready to say something sarcastic or explain yourself, but before the words can even leave your mouth, before you can even think of them, Geto is turning back around to face you and cupping your chin in between his index finger and thumb.

Geto leans down at the same time he tilts your head up and places a chaste kiss on the corner of your (still open) mouth, cooing, “You took it so well.”

All you can do is laugh nervously. “What?” You're still giggling; you don't think you could do much else at this point. “What was that- Why did you just-“

Geto starts laughing along with you, except it’s not a defense mechanism for him; he’s just finding this all too amusing. “You didn't think I gave you a heart for no reason, did you?”

You quickly look down at your arm, the action ripping your chin out of Geto’s hold. “You gave me a heart,” you say absentmindedly, and it sounds more like a question than an actual statement.

“Are you just now noticing?” he asks, returning his hand to your chin and gently guiding you to look up at him again. “I thought you were watching the whole time.”

You swallow sharply, becoming acutely aware of how close his face is to yours again. “I was watching something the whole time, but it was not the actual tattoo.”

“Oh? and what was so much more interesting?”

“Mind your business-“

Geto barely even lets you finish your snarky remark before leaning in and kissing you again. except this time for real. except this time you kiss back.

and suddenly tattoos don’t seem so bad anymore, so long as they all end like this.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[adripakoffee]

Hold on and let me yap about my goat Swansea rq (not rq, this is almost 2k words lol)

CW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

I'm gonna use "probably" and "most likely" a lot in this because so much of this game is from Jimmy's perspective and he dgaf about Swansea until close to the end.

Okay, so Swansea is first and foremost, a very tired, very ragged mechanic who's probably pushing 60. He doesn't want to be on that ship. He doesn't want anything. He wants, at least at first, to just be done with this job and get paid. He respects Curly but he's annoyed by and dismissive of everyone else on the ship, especially Daisuke.

So much of Swansea's character is reliant on and paralleled to his relationship with Daisuke. When he meets Daisuke, Daisuke is happy and optimistic. He looks forward to things and tries to impress Swansea when Swansea doesn't want help.

The main reason Swansea doesn't like Daisuke ties into his alcohol abuse. Daisuke is always, at almost every point we see him pre Anya locking herself in medical, happy and energetic. Swansea hates this about him because that's a state of being he hasn't achieved, in his own words, in 15 years. He can't imagine being that happy while sober and it pisses him off. He's half jealous because of that and half jealous because Daisuke is young and has a long life ahead of him. Swansea does not like the life he built for himself while sober, but that's for later. Especially after they get laid off, the only one who has anything ahead of them was Daisuke. Swansea would have trouble getting another job both because of his age and because a lot of things on Earth were being automated.

Of course, after the crash, that jealousy becomes something else. Because Daisuke is the only one who has anything ahead of them, he's the only one whose life matters. Swansea loves his family, but he doesn't really like them. He's most likely worked with Pony Express the longest, so he knows they most likely won't be saved. They have one chance left, one cryopod for one person. He's saving it for Daisuke because Daisuke is only one with a chance.

Now bringing up Anya. I think it was 2 months in when Anya told him about Jimmy. Here I'd like to correct some things I said in other posts. In my Anya rant I said "He has the one last working cryo pod set aside for her specifically and refuses to let anyone into the room where it is." He felt bad for her, no doubt, but he probably doesn't actually do that. He, more likely, tells her "Hey, there's actually a crypod left. I'm saving it for Daisuke. It's not like either of us have things waiting on the other side of this." Swansea isn't responsible for Anya in the way Curly was. He respects her well enough as coworkers but they're not at all close. He doesn't feel any real need to put her in priority, especially with the dire situation at hand. I don't think he doesn't care, it's just not something he sees in his jurisdiction. And I'm not saying there's nothing he could've done. Had literally anyone at any point in the game killed Jimmy, a lot of problems would be fixed. But, unlike Curly, Swansea doesn't have as many options.

When they open the cargo hold and he starts drinking again, he rediscovers happiness. I'd actually like to apologize for something quickly. I made a short comic in which Swansea comforts Anya after she tells him about Jimmy (which he doesn't actually do, smh bro) and in the caption I had said "I love you sm Swansea I wish you weren't an alcoholic 😔" (It's also my most popular fanart on here and I'm very thankful for that ^^)

I don't blame Swansea for his alcoholism. It's an addiction just as much as anything else and no one should have to go through that. I personally though have had bad experiences with alcoholics and I'm generally uncomfortable around them. I definitely worded that caption poorly and I apologize for that, but I had meant it in an "I wish you were sober" way. I know that the caption had rubbed people the wrong way, so I wanted to apologize.

So Swansea is drunk and happy for the first time in fifteen years. Despite his intoxicated state, he still has his one goal and that's to save the last cryopod for Daisuke. He knows that's what he wants and he sticks to it. It's just him and the ax against the world. Eventually, Jimmy takes the ax to get the extra painkillers and the ax kinda just disappears for a while. Like I have no idea where it went but Swansea has it again by the time he offs Daisuke.

Speaking of which, Swansea kills Daisuke. Framing-wise it's probably my favorite scene in the game, like the breathing and Swansea's speech. Chat, I love this scene. Anyways, Jimmy offers Swansea a drink as a "peace offering." Swansea is never sober at this point in the game but even he can appreciate a good cocktail, especially when he's been slogging mouthwash for months. Honestly, he doesn't trust Jimmy like AT ALL at this point, but Daisuke helped him with the cocktail.

Swansea is kinda putting his hopes in Daisuke. Like obviously, he's placing hope in Daisuke's survival, but I think he's also seeing this optimistic, bright-eyed kid who's struggling as himself at the start of his sobrity. Daisuke said that the reason he got this job was because he was directionless in life. He had nothing to look forward to and no goals. The difference between him and Swansea is Daisuke's parents got the job for him and Swansea had to do it himself. So in that way he started to appreciate how happy Daisuke was, which is more reason to hate that he's there.

Swansea passes out from the cocktail and when he wakes up Anya is dead and Daisuke is in critical condition. Anya's gone which means they're out of a medic so that makes Daisuke's situation a lot worse. But because Jimmy used the Isopropyl to knock out Swansea, they're out of disinfectant. They have to use mouthwash which is established early on to have too much sugar to be disinfectant. So they kinda made it worse because Swansea and Jimmy are idiots who didn't listen to Anya. After a few hours of Daisuke slowly bleeding out, Swansea mercy kills him. it. looks. so. cool. During this speech, Swansea says something along the lines of "Stick a kid with a bunch of sad-sack adults and see what he learns. Bootstraps and all that." He really hates that Daisuke is here, it's just that the reason has changed. Before the crash, Curly and Daisuke were the only two who weren't like clinically depressed. After the crash, only Daisuke can find it in himself to stay optimistic, but even his faith is dwindling (Jimmy is optimistic too, but that's because he's crazy).

Right after that, he chases Jimmy around with the ax until Jimmy ties him up and shoots him. This is when Swansea lore drops about himself. He explains that he literally has not been happy or enjoyed his life in 15 years. He's done everything he's supposed to when it comes to leading a good, healthy life, but it's not at all fulfilling. He hates his job, he doesn't look forward to seeing his family, he just killed the last speck of joy on this metal space coffin, and he has nothing to live for. He's already fallen back into addiction so even if he got back to Earth, he'd ruin his life all over again. He'd be happy, but his life would be ruined. And then Jimmy shoots him.

Now here's a little health fact! Swansea was dying the whole game. People suffering from alcohol abuse often end up drinking Listerine when other alcoholic drinks aren't available. Now I'm just speculating and projecting, but Swansea is definitely a beer guy, that's his go-to. His tolerance suggests he was a craft kinda guy (which has an ABV between 5 and 10% (idk this is from memory)) or someone who drank a lot really quickly, but the mouthwash was 14% ethanol. That, in and of itself isn't the main problem, though it is noteworthy that he was already drinking more than usual. The main problem is that drinking mouthwash will absolutely destroy your stomach and intestinal linings. Mouthwash isn't just alcohol and flavoring, there's other chemicals in it too. On a good day, you'll get a nasty stomach ache, but you'll live. One to many though, and you are dead or in a coma. Like no joke that will kill you, especially if you drink a lot of it in such a short amount of time. That's why they keep saying "that stuff will kill you before anything else will," because it's actively killing them. Swansea probably knew this but he's prone to self-destruction so he probably didn't care. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that little health fact, I love reading medical journals ask me anything.

While writing this, I paused and started scrolling on tiktok and I saw a video where someone was complaining about the sudden villainization of Swansea in the fandom. I've literally seen nothing like this, but in the video they said one of the critiques people had of Swansea was that he was just as bad as Curly for not doing anything about Jimmy. That's insane, that is a batshit crazy take and I rebuke it. For one, Swansea was never Jim's friend. He never set people up to be victimized by Jimmy, he never enabled Jimmy's behavior or tried to comfort him when he was the problem. This was just a crazy thing to say, please learn to comprehend thing beyond the main text.

Um.. uh... conclusion paragraph, I love Swansea and I love to pretend he was more proactive against Jimmy for Anya's sake, but he wasn't so it's whatever he's not real anyway. I feel like this ended up being really long, like longer than the other two but idk.

Here's the link to the Anya rant and the Curly rants I also did, that I should probably edit upon further reflection

[darkstarofchaos]

4, 8, 9, 10, 19 for Megatron and/or Starscream please!!

Sorry this took so long! I had to think about some of these (and then finals happened and I was busy, lol). Megatron

Thoughts on Alcohol: Good for all occasions. Celebrations? Major drawback? Traumatic event? Time to drink.

Biggest Fears: In a word, powerlessness. Which can mean an inability to protect himself, of course, but it comes out more when someone he cares about is in danger and he can't do anything. He's confident in his ability to get himself out of bad situations, and he likes problems he can punch, but if someone needs medical or psychological support he can't provide? If all he can do is sit there and let someone else do what he can't, or wait on someone who might never wake up? He doesn't know how to deal with that, and the fact that he's not close to many people makes it especially terrifying when it does happen.

(Random aside: I didn't care even slightly for IDW Megatron wanting to be/becoming a medic. I want that mech helpless when it comes to taking care of people).

Biggest Hopes: To see the end of the war and have a life beyond fighting. He doesn't expect to live that long, though, and refrains from thinking much about what he would do with himself if it happened (some versions definitely see themselves ruling over Cybertron, though, or else dying in battle rather than seeing an Autobot victory).

Biggest Secret: Starscream is one of the few people he would care about losing (G1- and Armada/Energon-specific, on account of most canon making it abundantly clear he would kill him himself if he felt so inclined). Not sure what the biggest secret of other versions would be, since any time I write him as a protagonist, I find a way to make him care about Starscream.

Sleeping Habits: In theory, he recognizes the importance of sleep and keeps to a strict routine to ensure he's always functioning at his best. In practice, he sleeps when he's tired (tired by his standards, which is closer to "fatigued"), and it's only the rising hour that's fairly consistent. He's also absolutely someone who will stay up too late reading, and will scold others for their sleep schedules while being oblivious to his own poor habits.

Starscream (note: most of these are more expanded canon than headcanon. Unless you're someone who thinks Starscream is/should be pure evil, then sure, they're headcanon).

Thoughts on Alcohol: Good for a good time, and as an excuse for bad decisions. He tries not to actually get drunk, though; partly because he wants to keep his wits about him, and partly because he's a depressed drunk and is uncomfortably aware of the fact (might occasionally lock himself in his quarters for a private, alcohol-fueled moping session if he's already depressed).

Biggest Fears: Abandonment in all its forms, whether it's someone actually leaving him or the death of someone close to him. He also fears dying alone, being forgotten, or only being remembered for his failures - all things he attributes to a simple (and reasonable) fear of dying.

(Random aside: The Immortal Spark is not canon for me. I don't care what canon says, canon is wrong).

Biggest Hopes: At the end of the day, he just wants to be good enough. Whether that means attention, glory, or approval is beside the point as long as he can feel wanted. He also longs to see Cybertron restored, though it varies whether he's willing to let someone else do it or if he wants that distinction for himself.

Biggest Secret: Oh, you know. Deeply insecure, misses Skyfire, was once a Megatron fan (still doesn't hate him as much as he wants to). It's honestly hard to come up with things for this one that aren't either canon or popular fanon already.

Sleeping Habits: Like Megatron, he sleeps when he's tired and not before. Unlike Megatron, there is no pretense at having a schedule, and he's not terribly fussed about where he sleeps. His body might not like being draped over a desk or slumped in a chair after he wakes up, but if he's only planning to close his optics for a minute anyway, he can't be bothered moving (it's never just a minute).

[autumnleaffay]

I am struggling too much with the next chapter of The lost spirit, so have some brain rot instead!

Random Nations in health care

(based entirely on my experience)

Iceland: Uni Student (don't care if it's for nursing or art), but he does night shifts as a watch for agitated patients. For some reasons, no one can understand, his nights are always quiet. Not a single disturbance.

Finland: You would think maybe something caring like child care. No. Cardiology ICU, don't you dare mess with his lines and EKG cables!!!

Norway: forever the Nightshift. Not a single day shift in sight, put him in one and he's just a confused puppy.

Denmark: Trauma ward, broken bones? Let's go! But also very caring for the elderly after their hip replacements.

Sweden: NICU. He may be a giant but in his hands the preemies are always safe.

Switzerland: Private practice. Patients that pay out of their own pocket, just to get private rooms, special dinner, faster wait times and a news letter, but the medical care is just like on any other ward? Yep that's him.

Germany: The nursing supervisor and management. Oversees more than 10 wards but knows the shift coverage of each one perfectly.

Prussia: ER, he's the right kind of Crack head for that! Friday nights, alcohol intoxication: "Just a blood alcohol of 2,9? That's nothing Earl! Where is the 3,8 we know and love?!" (Ps, both are already very high numbers)

Lichtenstein: Med student, currently in pathology rounds and loving it...

Latvia: Med Surge. I am so sorry for him, but yeah, he would not have the heart to quit that job and just continues to work in that hell hole. Never says no to a shift change and overtime.

France: Urologists. Gets super annoyed to be woken up at 3:30 am bc another ward can't lay a catheter around the prostate hyperplasia, they've tried 5 times already. He comes, uses nearly the biggest size and sticks it in one go.

Poland: only late shifts, always gets food delivered. Seems lazy at first but is the most effective nurse you ever meet.

Sealand: Chronic heart disease, basically has become a part of the staff at this point. Helps out the nurses sometimes.

England: do you really think that I'll give a patient a lethal dose of Opioids? Think again.

America: How do I calculate IE again?! What's mg in dl again? (Most medications are always calculated with the metric system or international units)

Romania: Psychology nurse. Has done the "muffin man" meme with his patients before.

Spain: 6 am, everyone tired, doors open: HOLA CHICCAS!!!!

Portugal: always brings food on the weekend shifts

Japan: hygiene supervisor. If he enters a ward, everyone hides in patient rooms instantly.

Greece: Useless during early shifts, but a unit during the late shifts. Sleeps during night shifts.

Estonia: Got a Stanley Cup, because it's "in" sold it the same month because he usually ends up drinking from the water bottles directly.

Lithuania: Internal Medical practice. The same chaos that awaits Latvia but he's got it handled, stands up for himself.

Romano: He may not be the nicest colleague, but when you hear him talking to an elderly woman, alone and scared for her life, you understand why he is a RN.

[melatonin-melanin]

jirai kei as a trend and the inherent ableism and racism present within it

if you've been present in any japanese fashion or vtuber spaces for the past few years, chances are you've most likely heard of jirai kei. it's gotten major media attention in japan, and inevitably its popularity has spread overseas. what is still misinterpreted about it, however, is that jirai kei is a fashion style. jirai kei is a stereotype, as well as a subculture that features fashion elements. as opposed to the fashion aspects, the focus of the subculture is mental illness, and many people use the jirai tags and labels to find those with similar struggles and interests. you can learn more about the recent history of jirai kei as a stereotype here, and the fashions associated with jirai kei here.

jirai kei as a stereotype is bad for a multitude of reasons, but there are many people who seem to think that there's nothing wrong with the trend itself. i've seen many arguments in favor of it, ranging from "if brands are using it, that must mean the term isn't that bad" to "plenty of japanese girls are using it to only refer to the fashion, and they don't actually lash out at others or self-harm." its usage by brands and everyday people are true, and that much cannot be argued. the problem comes from assuming that, because it's something widespread in japan, it can't possibly be as bad as people make it out to be. if this trend were to come from anywhere else, i'm almost certain that people would immediately question the morality of it for several reasons. this is going to be a long post, so i hope you have some time.

TW for mentions of self-harm, alcohol and drug abuse, and child sex trafficking below the cut.

a brief rundown of jirai kei's origins

to start, jirai kei's original coinage before the trend has existed since around the 90s. it was used by misogynistic men to refer to women who they believed exhibited signs of emotional instability. this was applied to completely harmless traits, and the criteria for someone being a landmine has drastically changed over the years. for example, the first common identifier was simply "a girl who looks put together." this sexist usage still extends to present times, but now it's often conflated with the current aestheticized definition of the term.

the source of the current iteration of jirai kei

the modern-day jirai kei stereotype comes almost entirely from a gang known as the toyoko kids, who reside in kabukicho. this gang contains many members ranging from ages 9 to 24 who have run away from their homes and families. they have been known for several activities, but the most publicized ones are cutting themselves in public circles, papa katsu (underage prostitution), heavily drinking, and overdosing on over-the-counter medications. majority of the gang members also wear japanese alternative fashions, with girly kei being the fashion that's most often present in the jirai kei stereotype.

where does the ableism come in?

the rise of the aesthetic trend peaked somewhere in 2020, where a "landmine makeup challenge" gained popularity online and resulted in various people attempting to mock and mimic the stereotype for clout. people would wear girly fashion, act "wild" or "crazy" on camera, and, at worst, pretend to cut their wrists or even use makeup to create fake self-harm scars. i don't believe i need to explain why faking self-harm for views is ableist. however, the ableism is also present in the supposed "lighter" aspects of the trend, particularly its sudden association with girly fashion.

during the height of jirai kei's popularity in japan, many brands had begun to sell pink x black girly coordinates, advertising them as jirai kei fashion. it's incredibly important to note that girly as a fashion has existed for several years prior, and that multiple people had already been wearing clothing that's abruptly being labeled jirai. as a result, you have all of these random people minding their business suddenly being labeled as "crazy psycho bitches" because of the clothes that they wear. as if that isn't enough, some brands went as far as to promote the more dangerous aspects of the stereotype as well. with attempts to pander to girls who are deemed "yandere" and "highly explosive," many shops, online influencers, and companies had directly and indirectly capitalized on the suffering of the toyoko kids by encouraging people to cut their wrists, manipulate their partners, binge drink, and lash out at others to engage in the "full landmine experience."

mental illness in japan is almost never taken seriously because it's seen as a personality flaw rather than something that needs treatment. the jirai kei trend only set back any progress made for mental health acknowledgement in society, as people perceived as landmines began to be harassed for wearing girly fashion. more girls were approached by men on the street trying to scout them for prostitution, and people gave away their wardrobe because "others assumed they were troublesome" for wearing it. from another perspective, the anti-recovery nature of the trend has also taken lives. some people who felt that they identified with the term had fully embraced the lifestyle that was commercialized and promoted as something "cute and fun," resulting in more people running away from home to be like the toyoko kids. these people, who have essentially been failed by the system, are simultaneously fetishized and shunned for the fact that they're struggling.

well, what about the racism?

the racism present in the jirai kei trend, from what i've seen, mainly comes from overseas communities. the perception that many people have of jirai kei tends to have its roots in orientalism. if you've ever witnessed how people tend to glorify japan in almost every context, this shouldn't be too surprising. what's concerning, however, is that much of this glorification of jirai still goes unacknowledged by the western j-fashion community.

when jirai kei gained popularity in japan's mainstream, people mistook the name of the stereotype for the name of the fashion. this mindset also translated over to western spaces without a second thought. as a result, when jirai kei as a stereotype was formally introduced to overseas j-fashion communities, some were confused and oddly adamant. it seemed like people thought, "there's no way that japan would endorse something so horrible. there has to be different explanations!" regardless of whether this idea was conscious or subconscious, it had begun what people now call "jirai discourse" in the community. many arguments were made in favor of using jirai kei to refer solely to girly fashion, as opposed to recognizing its origins and continuous usage as a derogatory term. an especially common viewpoint that's perpetuated is that jirai kei has been reclaimed or is in the process of being reclaimed, which is something that has several things wrong with it.

problems with thinking that jirai is "reclaimed, so it's fine to use"

firstly, reclamation is subjective. the assumption that the entirety of a minority group makes the unanimous decision to reclaim a term is frankly just implausible. even more popular words that are thrown around more casually nowadays are still debated in some circles on whether or not they should be used. for a term like jirai kei, something fairly recently coined and undoubtedly controversial in most contexts, the mere idea of reclamation amongst anyone would have to take a much longer time, and that's only if the stereotype starts getting taken seriously.

secondly, the only people who have the right to consider reclamation are the people who are directly affected by the usage of this term, which would be feminine-presenting native japanese people who are mentally ill. people overseas have argued in favor of reclaiming the term despite not being a part of the group that the term is actually used against. this is not something where you can take apart the criteria and suddenly claim that you're also affected by jirai kei's usage. for a comparison that may be easily understood, that's like if a nonblack woman tried to advocate for the reclamation of the "mammy" stereotype, which stereotypes and therefore only affects the perception of black women. just because both groups consist of women, that doesn't mean they have the exact same experience with the stereotype in question, even if they happen to resonate with some aspect of it. unless you've grown up in japan as someone afab and/or feminine-presenting and have struggled with mental health, it's nearly impossible to fully identify with the extent of jirai kei's harm because it's occurred in such a specific set of circumstances to a specific group of people. the only thing that should be done in this case is doing your research on the affected group, which you can do by looking into the history of the toyoko kids and some of the individual stories of the members. that way, you can at least attain a better understanding of their perspectives and connect the effects of jirai kei to their struggles.

lastly, it is not reclaiming to simply use the term for yourself. this tends to be where the idea of jirai kei being reclaimed comes from, because many japanese girls on social media use the term to refer to themselves as well. in these instances, there are typically two separate reasons: one, the person is pretending to be a landmine for clout; or two, they genuinely identify with the derogatory meaning of the term. the latter is often the case, since there's not many other ways for people in japan who are mentally ill to find groups for themselves. when it comes to reclamation, it's important to remember that it's not simply using a word that was used against a group that you're a part of. reclaiming is about actively working to change a term's meaning into a neutral or positive context for the benefit of the group. none of these girls are doing that. there's no big effort in japanese landmine spaces to move the perception of being a landmine away from things like girly kei fashion, idol fan culture, or toxic behaviors, which leads me to the final section of this post.

it is not anyone's job to push for the "reclamation" of jirai kei.

i put reclamation in quotes because, although some genuinely may not have ill intentions, many people come off as having a "white savior" mindset as opposed to actually wanting to reclaim the term in any sense (which, as mentioned before, is not the right of just anyone), and it's usually for the sake of enjoying girly fashion without feeling bad for incorrectly calling it jirai kei. one of the defenses often used to propose that being seen as a landmine can actually be a good thing is that the people who do self-harm and abuse substances are simply "bad apples" in the landmine community. if they're not treated as the dirty underside, then they're seen as things to be pitied and sympathized with, but with the quick disclaimer of "don't worry though, not all landmines are like this!"

not only is this incredibly ableist, but this assumption being made by mainly white influencers is also rooted in the historical development of racism against asian people, particularly in the united states. if you've heard of the model minority myth, one of the biggest issues with it is that it heavily generalizes asian people as being well-mannered, good-natured, and upstanding citizens. as a result, anyone who seems to fall out of this generalization is deemed an "untrustworthy foreigner" and appears as nonexistent through a romanticized lens. this exact situation can be applied to how people tend to treat the issues surrounding the jirai kei trend. the japanese girls who are faking and/or making fun of mental instability for the sake of online popularity are suddenly being glorified as these ideal representations of jirai kei to be palatable to the western world. meanwhile, the people who are considered by many to be part of the lowest rungs of society and are actually getting this term thrown at them pejoratively are treated as an afterthought and not representative of what people overseas want jirai kei to mean. it's even to the extent where native japanese people using girly kei or being uncomfortable with jirai kei are immediately assumed to be faking their ethnicity or their japanese-speaking skills, something that many foreigners have actually done in an attempt to claim authority over jirai kei's usage. since the reality of the trend is so uncomfortable to many, people think that it's best to simply disregard it or dumb down its impact when that changes nothing. what has avoiding the topic of discrimination and fetishization ever done for anyone?

the last thing i want to point out is that, even if reclamation of the term was in progress, it would not be happening the way that some seem to think it is. if the term was being reclaimed, we would not have people (both overseas and in japan) still acting like the stereotype for tons of likes, namely by taking pictures of themselves in girly kei next to cans of pink monster while sitting on the sidewalk with someone handing them money. that is an actual image i've seen, and if that doesn't tell you that there's a problem, i'm not sure what else will.

[tillthelandslide]

For Better or For Worse - Ross MacDonald One Shot

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @promocodesorry75 @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @friedlandblog @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @at-her-very-foreign (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

You stand anxiously at the side of the stage, Joel is next to you, although he leaves occasionally when Ross needs a different bass, but soon enough he's back by your side. You're thankful he's here, his shoulders graze yours and it's enough comfort to ease you slightly. The real comfort you need is performing on the stage in front of you. You know he'd also be thankful that Joel has stepped in to give you some support.

Joel watches as you wince when Ross does, how you suck in air through your teeth when pain covers his face. Your eyes rarely leave the blue band wrapped around his bicep, only flicking down to his hand when he flexes it, another thing causing him trouble as of late.

"What does the tape do again?" You ask Joel, probably the 10th time you've asked him. He isn't a medical professional by any means, but Ross has told him what the medics had told him, so he could tell you, knowing you'd worry.

"it prevents the overstretching and over contracting of injured muscles to stop his injuries getting worse" he says, sounding as if he had memorised it from a book.

You watch as Ross flinches again and you copy him "it's clearly not working". The song comes to an end and he flexes his hand again. You know Joel needs to give Ross a different bass but you stop him momentarily.

"Can you give him these?" You say, fishing the painkillers his doctor gave him out of your bag and popping two pills. Joel smiles before leaving you, bass (and painkillers) in hand.

You watch as Ross smiles a weak smile at you, walking over to his drink, which is usually some type of alcohol but is now replaced with water, and he takes the tablets. You feel slightly better after that, enjoying the show for a little while, your husband looking less pained.

But it's not long until it creeps back over his features and you sigh.

"What he needs it rest..." You hear behind you, turning to see Jamie who smiles before he hugs you.

"Rich coming from the guy that's got them fully booked until next March" you say but despite your words he laughs, knowing they didn't have venom behind them.

"Wasn't counting on him to get an injury" he says and you can tell he too is worried.

"He's still amazing though don't you think?" Jamie nods. He never falters despite being in pain and being injured and you feel proud watching him. But you are worried for him.

"He's resting as much as he can and he's taking his painkillers as prescribed and the tape seems to be helping" Jamie says but before he's gotten his words out you both watch as Ross removes the tape. You don't know why, perhaps it's irritating him, but whatever the reason is, it doesn't stop you from silently scolding him.

You wait until the very end of the show, watching him walk to the other side of the stage and waving to the fans there before he comes back to your side. He walks towards you with a smile, but he looks exhausted. Despite being a little mad at him you open your arms so he can step into them. He leans down to tuck his head into your neck and you place a kiss on his cheek.

"Did amazing sweetheart" you say and he hums against you.

"Let's get you back to the bus, we can put ice on your arm" you say and he pulls back to smile at you.

"What would I do without you hmm?" He asks and you chuckle, hand coming up to brush the stray hairs away from his slightly sweaty face.

"Fester" you say and he chuckles.

He wraps his arm around your shoulders but you hear him wince and remove it immediately.

"Fuck sake, can't even hold my girl" he exclaims, annoyed with the whole situation. You pout at him, feeling truly sympathetic towards him, not wanting him to be in any sort of pain ever, but knowing that wasn't realistic.

"Come here" you say, leaning up slightly and kissing him softly before gently rounding his other side and taking his other injured hand in yours. He smiles at you and you walk to the bus.

You offer to help him shower but he insists he can do it himself (after much rebuttal from you). Whilst he's in there you read up about other ways to help him. You help him get changed into a baggy jumper reading that tight clothing can make muscle injuries worse. You bring an ice pack wrapped in a towel to his arm and hold it for him, he smiles at you whilst you do, noting how concentrated you are. You hold it there for a while, whilst you speak about various things.

"Okay I was reading up ways to help you and it says to elevate your arm" you say and he slowly lifts it, resting it on the back of the sofa behind your head, quietly flinching at the pain that shoots up to his shoulder. But once he's still the pain dissipates and he's back to smiling at you.

"Thank you for doing this love" he says, leaning down to kiss you gently.

"You're welcome... For better or for worse, in sickness and in health right?" You say and Ross chuckles.

"Don't remember you saying that in your vows love... I vividly remember you saying you promise to always give me Guinness, to never make me explain football.... Oh and there was something about telling everyone I'm the hottest member of the 1975" you jib his stomach lightly at his jesting not expecting him to chuckle which in turn makes him flinch.

"shit" he swears at the new onslaught of pain.

"Ross I'm so sorry" you say, rising up slightly, eyes never leaving him to make sure he's okay.

"I'm okay love, I'm okay" he swears, hand pulling you back closer to him. "This is kicking my butt a little bit huh?" He asks and you nod as you frown at him. "Got you to look after me though hmm?" You nod "my little nurse" that makes you chuckle.

"I could get an outfit if you'd like" you say and he physically has to hold back his laughter to stop himself from hurting more.

"Love you're killing me here" he says with a soft chuckle pressing his lips to your head.

"Some wife I am..." You say as you sink to his chest.

"Shh don't say that... You're the best, all worried about me and looking up ways to help me" he says, pressing another kiss to your head.

"Well we can't have you making yourself worse and not being able to perform" you say and feel him nod above you. You crane your neck to look at him and he briefly leans down to kiss you.

"I know love..." He says.

"Besides, we gotta make sure Daddy's fit and healthy as can be when baby macdonald arrives" you say and it makes him smile widely, his left hand moving to rest against your bump. Gone are the days where that singular word would make him smirk like a schoolboy, gone are the days where that word would make him hold in his laughter. The word now, 4 months in, makes him smile widely and his heart swells in his chest, heart beating rapidly, looking forward to the day when his little girl says the same word.

"That we do" he says, the baby kicks against his palm, so attuned to her father.

"Although I'm convinced you'll always be fit" you say and he chuckles again.

"Even when I'm grey and old?" He asks.

"Especially then" you say. He laughs loudly, his whole body shaking, arm hurting him again.

"Think you're going to have to go away if you keep making me laugh love" he says, making you pout.

"I'm joking, my love" he says with a kiss to your lips.

"I swear to god if Matty changes the setlist one more time and makes you play something hard I'm going to kill that man" you say and Ross shakes his head as he smiles.

"We wouldn't want that... Who would be baby Mcdonalds godfather then?" He says, chucking at the way you exhale deeply.

"Literally anyone else Ross..." You say and he smiles.

"I love you so much" he says.

“I love you too, now hold still' you say, placing the ice back onto his arm. The pain eases from his face again and you smile, glad it's helping.

[bitegore]

I strongly believe that refusing to let teenagers have any access to public, social drinking spaces is part of why so many of my friends' relationships with alcohol over the years has been so completely fucked.

I'm American, for context. The drinking age here is and has been 21, but it's pretty easy to get access to alcohol when you're underage and I really fervently believe the drinking age should be lowered to 16. Usually I see 18 discussed and I seriously think it's not far enough.

There are a lot of reasons I think that, but the first and foremost one is that 16-year-olds are drinking anyway and they will continue to be drinking no matter how strict the laws get. All it means is that they're mostly drinking with other teenagers and they're well aware that they can get themselves and other people around them into serious legal trouble if they get caught, which doesn't stop them drinking but does make them nervous about it especially in the context of emergencies. Are you going to call 911 if you're 16 and your friend has alcohol poisoning? Maybe you know there are protections for you so your friend can get medical treatment... and maybe you don't.

That's relevant because I'm going to come back to that later. But let's go back to the first point. (BTW: this post gets long.)

Everyone learns how to deal with stuff from somewhere. And no one who is drinking, underage or overage, is getting alcohol completely in a vacuum. Someone has to give it to you, and if you're underage, you have to genuinely go out of your way to find someone and/or live in a household with alcohol that someone lets you have or doesn't notice you're taking. The former is alright sometimes; the latter is worrying a lot of the time, but there are exceptions (I was in that situation myself specifically because my parents were both non-drinkers but kept a handful of alcohol around for relatives who did drink, and also to occasionally to take tiny sips of for religious reasons and then go "blugh, gross" and put back into a cabinet and ignore it).

But the vast majority of people I know who were drinking underage were drinking because they were hanging out with someone else who was underage and drinking with them. So that's where we learned our drinking habits.

This means several things. Because: 1. Teenagers largely don't know very much about how to function in an adult setting for years or decades, on account of how they haven't gotten to do that yet. 2. Teenagers have to be secretive about drinking, because underage drinking is an open secret but it's still illegal and there's only so much that one can talk about safely, even if your family and all your friends are cool with it, which most aren't. 3. Teenagers usually drink relatively rarely, and don't necessarily know when they'll be able to get a drink next, because they're dependent on other people to get their alcohol for them. Even teens with relatively easy access to alcohol (like myself) are still going to be aware that they can't just go out and get more if they want more - there's a lot of steps involved that an adult does not have. And this is a shared social context, where a lot of the time teens are also only drinking because their friends are the ones with the alcohol.

There's also other factors that go into what I'm talking about, but this is what I want to highlight. The experience gap, genuine need for secrecy, and what I want to call "access insecurity" (point #3) even though that's kind of not a great term. Maybe I'll just call it point 3.

Underage drinking "culture", such as it were, includes (at least in my experience) drinking to excess every time. I know I'm painting with a broad brush, but from my perspective, this is in large part because - if you do not actually control when you're able to drink, and it's something you like to do, then you should indulge now or risk not getting another chance for a long time. And if you learn this is the right way to do it, this is the approach you'll take every time. And if you're introducing other people to drinking, they'll take cues from you, and do the same as you.

Being anxious about being able to get your hands on alcohol is kind of a hallmark feature of alcoholism, at least as we're told to consider it. It's also, honestly, a perfectly reasonable (or at least understandable) response to being in a situation where something you like is only available to you outside your control, you can only ask a small group of trustworthy people because there are consequences to talking too much to the wrong people about it, and you have no recourse for this but to wait anywhere between a year and almost a decade. (Some thirteen year olds drink. There is no good reason to pretend otherwise.) The fact that many people are drinking heavily and used to being anxious about whether or not they'll be able to drink when they want to before they turn 21 and can just go legally buy their own alcohol means that this particular hallmark of a problem is going to be ignored, because either it's something you're used to or something you genuinely see as normal.

Honestly, a handful of my friends in high school had serious alcohol problems. We all (in my friend group, at least) knew about it. But there was also the question of: what can you do about it? When your friend might get their entire family or their friends' family in trouble for trying to get help, outside of all other barriers not mentioned but also fully present? Teenagers aren't known for having a lot of agency with what they do with their lives; that's a really common reason for people to develop disordered relationships with substances of all sorts...

But beyond that, it just trains you to drink like your life depends on it every time you drink. Drinking is to get drunk, because the social element is we're all drinking as much as possible to be drunk because we don't know when we'll be drunk next, and it has to be a secret how much you drink and it's an open secret and you can brag about it but you can't talk too much or you'll get in TROUBLE. Be careful what you say or you'll put yourself and your friends in actual real danger, at least from the legal system.

So that's the underage drinking culture that I know about and that I was part of. That's problematic for the obvious reasons and it's also like that as a response to other, realistic conditions.

It is unrealistic in the current situation we live in for these conditions not to result in this kind of attitude. The 1920s "Prohibition" period saw the entirety of the adult drinking population also adopt similar attitudes, to the point that literature during and after the Prohibition era talks about how the general population was more likely to have a heavy drinking problem after[1].

There are, however, pretty obviously, lots of people with functional and/or perfectly under-control relationships with alcohol. And a lot of the time people who live around people who drink "responsibly" also have a more-functional relationship with alcohol than people who mostly interact with people who don't.

Like I said, everyone knows teenagers drink alcohol. It's an open secret. Any teenager you know might drink, and they might keep it a secret or they might not (or they might be bad at hiding it, which is true of a lot of them lmao). At present, if someone overage is drinking with someone underage, they are legally responsible for serving that person alcohol, which is illegal unless (and only in some states!) they are a family member. Teenagers can't hang out at places where drinking is like, done. Functionally this means it's very difficult for teenagers to get to spend time around people with a functional relationship with alcohol unless they already live with them.

The reason I want the drinking age to be 16 is because I want sixteen year olds to be able to legally go to bars, when they want, and get up to something in the vicinity of four drinks or so.

I don't necessarily think it's unreasonable for someone to say that teenagers shouldn't be drinking very heavily. It's probably not a good thing for them to do that, so it's fair to say that teenagers probably shouldn't be able to get super strong drinks, or be limited to only one, or something. But teenagers do in fact want to get drunk, is the thing, and it's already true that most teenagers who drink are drinking heavily and in secret. As I already pointed out, having little control over one's ability to drink and having to be secretive about it means that drinking to excess is a logical response to the current situation. So I also think it's important to remove the part of the equation where teenagers are being materially encouraged to drink to excess every time, which means they have to be allowed to drink to excess sometimes so they don't feel the need to do it whenever they get a rare chance.

I would probably still like to see some sort of restrictions on how bars serving teenagers operate for everyone's sakes. Maybe teenagers should only be allowed until 9pm or something. Maybe teenagers should be limited to specific kinds of bars that require someone to check on them or something. Maybe they should have to be accompanied by someone over 21 but I really don't think that that's a good solution to the problem at hand whatsoever.

Largely this comes from the fact that I'm aware that outside the US, the drinking age is lower and also there are systems in place where teenagers can drink around adults who are also drinking in public where they can like, talk to people who arent exclusively their parents who are also cool with them drinking which not all teenage drinkers have. I promise I know this is also not the end-all-be-all solution to alcoholism. But it creates different pressures that will change the, again, understandable choices that encourage teenagers to drink the way they do as far as I've seen. Other people have done it and not had the entire world end. We can too.

Furthermore. I know there are laws in place to protect teenagers calling for medical help when their friends are drunk and someone's gotten alcohol poisoning. I also know that there are situations where someone needs to call some authority for other reasons and they've been drinking and that gets much hairier. One example: people are a lot more likely to get violent when they're drunk and teenagers are already more likely to be violent because they already have trouble with risk-reward judgement and emotional regulation just like, as part and parcel of being a teenager. If someone gets drunk and you two have a disagreement and they threaten you or pick a fight, and your friends aren't able to break things up or are worried you're going to get really hurt, do they feel like there's nothing they can do and no one they can ask to help? Or are they going to be - drunk, scared, and already worried about being caught - confident that they can go get some authority to break the situation up?[2] Or suppose (common situation unfortuantely) a bunch of teenagers are drinking together and someone is sexually assaulted - obviously it's important for the person who hurt the other teenager to not like, get away scott free, but the part of this equation where everyone in the room was doing something illegal with potentially real legal consequences is kind of a good incentive to cover it up and tell whoever was hurt to just keep it to themselves or risk taking everyone there down with them. These other teenagers are usually their friends. It's bad and it's dangerous. It hurts people in very real and tangible ways. These situations happen in real life all the fucking time.

There are laws protecting underage drinkers who call for help. This is true. There are also issues making sure teenagers know about them and there are also issues with the fact that drunk people don't think straight. If they're just not illegally drinking then the entire "we're drinking illegally" complication is removed.

Anyway underage drinking is bad in the sense that it's dangerous, I'll stand by that. This is a pretty normal harm reduction stance - safe/supervised consumption sites, decriminalization, education - in a more specific part of an already-broadly-legal substance. I also consider this broadly true for basically every other substance. that's a conversation for another day but I want to be very clear that the reasons for this behavior and these patterns are broadly applicable to a whole lot of other substances as well.

-

[1] There were also factors that involved the relative access of hard liquors and spirits compared to wines and beers with lower alcohol content but which were harder to make illegally. Anecdotally, my friends were mostly drinking vodka, and I drank vodka with them. The first time I hung out with friends drinking beers, it was when I was already in my 20s and so were they. I know people who were drinking beers in high school but my own personal experience is that hard liquor was the go-to because we wanted to get drunk and it was cheaper. The explanation given in what I read (sorry I'm not sourcing this, I think it came from Deborah Bloom's The Poisoner's Handbook and then some googling because I was curious if it was true but don't quote me on that and just look it up yourself instead) was that between the nature of the speakeasies - clandestine, subject to closing at any time, and stocking whatever they could get their hands on rather than what people necessarily preferred - and the kind of alcohol available - largely industrial spirits and moonshines, sometimes cut with poisonous wood alcohol or other poisons to 'deter' drinkers (widely attested: the government has always hated people who use substances that are demonized and just because alcohol is socially accepted does not mean they won't still kill you if they make it illegal today so you should extend some courtesy to your friends and neighbors who use substances that are illegal today, especially with regards to safe supply!) but which wouldn't kill everyone who ingested them but did sure mean everyone got NASTY hangovers... these conditions meant that many people who went into the Prohibition Era enjoying alcohol like wine or beer but preferring to drink only a moderate amount came out of it drinking heavily, and drinking high-content spirits they were now used to. Sounds like the drinking culture my friends and I had. Lol. Lmao.

[2] Not that I expect the police to actually be helpful in that situation anyway, but still.

[aristocrating]

hot take: this fandom has a problem with glamorizing jack and kent's addictions

oh. OH. now THIS.

there is soooo much to be said about how jack's addiction is treated at large, as well as the implication that kent would probably have his own problems with addiction (which is complete fanon, but i think it's realistic to consider that)

i've seen this come in several flavors:

1) glossing over it entirely, where it's just ignored. if you write fanfic and you just adapt out the fact that jack is an addict because it's a sensitive subject for you or you have trouble handling it well, sure. more power to you. work with what you got. i will say that a LOT of people seem to not really grasp the ramifications of how addiction works, but neither does the comic so this one is just to be expected. just like, educate yourself. howEVER, i do think it's a real and important part of jack's character and just conveniently forgetting it or going "oh he's fine now, he just drinks at parties now" is WILD to me. not how it works. ask any person who's ever been personally affected by struggles with addiction. he would be dead. or hospital-bound. it's not fun, it's not cute. do your research.

2) the most insidious take i've seen (waaay too often): oh yes jack or kent has a problem with medication and alcohol, but he's not a REAL addict. yes it's bad but it's not like THOSE people. there will be a whole narrative about people calling him a cokehead because it's wrong, he never did any REAL drugs. he's one of the Good Ones. DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW? keep your moralistic puritanical bullshit out of here. "jack would never do that! he would never do drugs!" okay, and what if he did? would you view him as less valuable as a character then? would you automatically dislike him more based on that fact alone? what do you think this implies about the way society treats people with addiction problems? why do you think people asign a hierarchy of moral value to what drugs someone consumes and who counts as a "real" addict? on my desk by monday. jfc.

3) and last but not least, glamorizing drug problems. it's a conglomeration of the previous two points i think, people don't know how to handle the issue of addiction well and also asign moral value to it. personally i think i've seen it come up especially in stories of pimms in juniors or kent's rookie year where he does drugs to cope. and let me just tell you. there is nothing fun or glamorous about it. addiction is taxing for everyone involved. it makes you feel like shit because you lose all sense of control and you also get judged for it from every side. it's a tiring process, it's sloggish and monotonous, you're trapped in cycles of frenzied rushes of substance abuse you can't enjoy, followed by excrutiating boredom that turns into an itch to consume again. it's uncomfortable. it's annoying. it makes you abandon all self-preservation you have because the pain of living becomes more and more unbearable all while your body tricks you into thinking there's only one thing that can alleviate it. and it's so easy to think portraying drugs as glamorous is somehow being supportive, but really you're just being condescending. and ignorant. the only reason i can think of why someone would want to glamorize this is if you're an addict yourself and you're using stories about addiction to cope. in that case, sure. do what you have to to get through it somehow. and everyone else, i implore you once again to think about why people asign moral value to addiction. what is to gain from it? who profits? who is exploited?

i understand struggling to portray addiction well. i understand not wanting to be confronted with it in fandom. i even understand being uncomfortable with it when being confronted with it, because it IS a scary subject. at the same time, i also wish more people understood what addiction is like and why it's important to handle it well in fiction and fandom.

this comic truly took the messiest possible route by introducing a character who explicitly suffered from an overdose and monitors his alcohol intake to... what exactly? what was the point of all that if it was going to be sweeped under the rug? why have a character who opens the door for such a big subject matter only for it to just not be relevant? i'm not saying the author had the intention of glamorizing addiction, but it does leave the unfortunate implication that jack only overdosed for a jab at an angsty plot line, the aesthetics of it, so i'm not surprised parts of the fandom would run with that.

one of the reasons i was drawn to jack's character is because i personally have experiences with alcoholism and addiction and i was surprised to see it come up in such a medium, and i was happy to have an in on the conversation. and it's sooo important to me that treating people with addiction as humans who are deserving of compassion becomes normalized and that the complexities and nuances of addiction are understood. unfort the comic did none of that though, so here we are /shrug

i think you're right and you should say it, 10/10 take, fucking educate yourself peeps

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[katyspersonal]

Personal stuff from work

I think I am going to leave this job and seek another one. I don't know how I am going to pull this off with my absurd medical expenses recently, but this is just impossible to work here anymore!!! I actually should be at work right now, but I went back home crying, just. straight up left

Remember that story about an ex worker who constantly got at work drunk and snapped at everyone for smallest reason? Where one time he came at work so full of vodka the smell was all over the office, got super angry at smallest things and screamed at the boss and her vice that he would "smash her face with the keyboard if she doesn't shut up" before other workers and customers? And everyone was either scared or passive, but I straight up told him that he should just go home and sleep instead of getting in THIS state at work and causing god knows what? That resulted in the day worth of him distracting me from working bullying me like 'lmao are you feminist or something?!', 'have you believed in yourself or something?!' etc etc, that progressed in a STUPID verbal fight where he kept saying dumb shit, I was objecting, he was yelling at me to shut up, I objected that if he wanted me to shut up he should not have prompted the discussion with dumb shit to begin with etc etc etc.. That then ended in physical fight too, while all coworkers who were much more capable and strong than me just hid like rats and let me fight him alone 🤦‍♂️

Or another story, kinda recent, where another coworker smashed my head against the deck from a likewise long verbal argument that started from her genuinely giving customers and us troubles by refusing to do her job right and me pointing it out? There were a lot of threats prior, like throwing a can in my face if I don't shut up, when she genuinely was wrong and refused to take request from the boss over stupid petulant reasons? (by the way later after that situation turned out that she also did fight with THE boss physically before, and with one of the regular customers that sued her later)

It is more like 'three times is a charm' situation because today something very similar happened, and with a DIFFERENT person again. She has been working here for a while, and also had problems with alcohol and such, but after previous boss left the job and new one arrived she befriended her a lot. That resulted in them constantly dumping all work on me while they CONSTANTLY leave to smoke, drink at the work place (!) or bring their stupid equally alcoholic friends at the office (!!!) 🤦‍♂️ However, today was ANOTHER time where she was STUPID late at work all because she got drunk shitless yesterday (also at work while I was left with customers alone).. I addressed that, and... yeah, you guessed it, more insults, yelling, threats of physical violence etc followed. This time we surprisingly did not end up in a fight, I kinda just ran away..

Like, this workplace feels like abusive relationship I know, I just bothered to carry on because it is stupid hard to find a job in my city.. But I swear they hire any sort of deranged, violent, stupid people without even a minimal check fdhfdhs These are just the three I've had open fight with! And in each and every situation it is basically 'a person who is like 50, the third one is 60 wants to beat up a frail young girl for pointing out something that was GENUINELY wrong while other coworkers are either passive or claim that the girl is insane and inadequate in this situation' 🤦���♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I am dead serious, the third parties always act like /I/ am the bad person here for pRoVoKiNg (if this is what you call seeing a bad thing and saying it is bad). And also for "arguing"??? Bitch you say the dumb shit that makes no sense and expect me to stay silent or how that Tweet went

I just really can't work with these idiots anymore. Though to think of it, it isn't just here.. to look back on it, all my enemies happen specifically because I point out something genuinely wrong about them and they can't take the L. When I am not like, holding them at the gunpoint or posing any threat to them (looking at YOU, online cancel-culture mobs who might THINK you can relate!!!). Heck, my worst online drama happened all because someone in the fandom straight up bullied another fan and I jumped in to obliterate them with facts and logic for that behaviour, and not the "noble fight" reasoning they ended up making up to justify harassing me. It is not like I am some noble fighter for justice ffs!!! I am just a kicked stray dog that barks at the things it doesn't like, I won't and CAN'T make any change in this world. But it is always enough to end like this. I just can't play by this world's rules at all if you are supposed to "just ignore" people who are so deranged. By this logic I could also keep everyone in fear with threats and inadequate reaction to objective, non-threatening, justified criticism, but I am not doing this!!

At the same time, hating petty bitches that will either openly get hostile like my coworkers, or plot revenge like Alfred-chan or A, over the justified "attack" on them made me overcorrect myself to the point I tolerate shit like this more than I should. Like you know how unwillingless to become the very thing you hate might put you on the opposite extreme? Because it should not have happened three times for me to be done!!! (especially since none of these idiots got fired for their behaviour) Not to mention less extreme conflicts and these idiots doing god knows what at the WORKPLACE 🤦‍♂️

[science-lings]

Elaborations under the cut

1- based off of the official art where half the time he's drinking he's just passed out or he's just smiling at nothing. I can see him becoming a functioning alcoholic who drinks mostly because it helps him sleep but I don't think he would want to be that vulnerable in his daily life, especially when hanging out with Kristoph.

2- He was just as spikey as a baby, but also the style seems intentional rather than just how it grows.

3- PW vs PL reference? idk the vibe that in an alternate timeline where he forgets that he's a lawyer he becomes a baker with Maya is just fun so I think he just likes baking in general. Also, I'm a sucker for those AUs where he's a baker. He seems like the type to get stuck in his head while kneading bread dough and regularly makes those kinds of breads that have to basically be beat up to get his anger out. No therapy, only bread.

4- This feels self-explanatory, he can also dance, at least in the way that he can pick up choreography and bullshit his way through any performance. I also think it would be sweet if he sang lullabies to Trucy while she was growing up.

5- There are multiple instances where he passes out from stress and his internal dialogue mentions that he's 'feeling lightheaded' like GIRL... GO TO THE DOCTOR. And he did but that meant that he can't drive in case he gets too stressed driving and passes out... which would not be good.

6- Again, self-explanatory, this man has an abnormal brain, good for him.

7- I don't exactly know what he has tattooed on him but I can see this guy, who is unaffected by pain and also an art major, having a few designs on him. Maybe a dragon winding around his shoulder or a few little silly things on his legs and arms. He doesn't really flaunt them and everyone gets surprised when its the combined prosecutors office and WAA beach day.

8- The magatama should make him look a little spooky, I think it would be fun. Also, I think he should use it to jumpscare anyone who is around while he is sneaking into his kitchen to eat baby carrots when he wants a midnight snack.

9- I've spoken about this before and I will probably do so again, I just think he needs an awful cat as a pet project when Trucy moves out and he gets lonely. It's a better outlet than trying to fix a person who might fake their death or try to poison him.

10- You cannot tell me that undefeated poker player extraordinaire isn't completely in control of his tells as much as he possibly can be. He can dodge questions and provide perfectly true but vague answers. I just think he can be so incredibly cagey and secretive when he has to be, even though he's typically pretty emotionally open. He learned it from Mia (Ms. 'didn't tell Phoenix she had a sister even though they've known each other for years' Fey)

[kyoongboxi]

You Shouldn't —

[Baekhyun AU]

Summary; Marriage is not just a tied up promise to live together until death is the only reason to separate. Marriage is something really complex. You can't say you want to separate as easily as when you were dating. Communication is one of the keys to make a harmonious relationship long lasting, but the lack of communication also would lead into a split up. And that is what currently happened to you and your husband.

Pairing; Baekhyun x Reader

Genre; angst, fluff

——

The week has finally come to an end. It was a late Friday night when Baekhyun stepped into his quiet apartment. Work was hectic with reports, meeting and all the dramatics event followed by. The man has not spoken to his wife for around two weeks. He was left alone in the apartment ever since, meanwhile his wife fled to her mother's house to avoid any possible bigger fights.

Its not like he was a dirty person but tonight, his mind was hazy. There is too much to think about at one time. Several bottles and snacks scattered on the floor, littering the carpet he bought with his first salary years ago. The man is now laying on the edge of the couch, his feet touching the ground.

His gaze was blank, staring at the white ceiling. He let the room illuminated by the darkness. Only the lights from his old analog television which is now airing a static show becomes his only friend to talk to. Baekhyun's arm sprawled into the side, fingers tightly clutching another bottle of alcohol.

The man seemed so lost wandering inside his mind alone until he didn't notice his apartment door being unlocked. Someone clearly made its way inside but he doesn't give a fuck at all because it didn't caught his interest until a familiar voice he hadn't heard in a long time pulled him out of his muddled thoughts.

"You promised you won't torturing yourself by drinking before I left" It was a voice that belongs to a woman, it was a voice he had been dying to hear in the past few days. It was a voice that belongs to you.

Knowing his medical records and fully aware of it, it makes you mad seeing him torturing himself for the things that might pull him back into the ICU. Without thinking twice, you crouched down on the carpet, collecting the bottles and snacks to throw it away.

Baekhyun's reaction was kinda late. He sat up on the couch, zoned out with his mouth half parted before realizing his wife had returned. "Min?"

You turned your head into his direction and noticed how he was actually fucked up. His hair was messy, it seems like he was pulling his hair out with his fingers. His face was also flushed in a deep shade of red. You know the man's got a very low alcohol tolerance.

Baekhyun was still in his work attire. The sleeves rolled up into his elbow in a messy roll, not forgetting his three unbuttoned dress shirts that reveal his chest a bit. "You cut your hair?"

You could tell he was clearly drunk. You decided to ignore him but he managed to catch your hand when you were about to leave to the kitchen, to throw all of the shits he just caused. "You're drunk. You realize that?"

His wife, you, let out a sigh in defeat. He was now standing in front of you. Hell, you could even smell the alcohol from him. Your eyes were actually filled with worry, but the drunk man seems like he didn't notice. Instead, he let out a laugh. "I deserved it, anyway. You actually love to see me torturing myself, aren't you?"

You shut your eyes together, taking a deep breath before deciding to speak again. "Please don't start. I don't want to start this conversation again with your currently drunken ass. Let's get you cleaned up"

You took his hand but he was fast to slap your hand away. "You said you didn't care about me anymore but you're here now. What a surprise"

He put the bottle on the table before he made a sound with several claps. "This is not what I expected to see when I come home" You shook your head slowly.

"Then what? What are you expecting to see? You expect me to bring that woman here? I asked Jung to mutate her. And now she's gone. Are you satisfied? I'm all yours now" His lips tugged into a broken smile, and its matched with your broken heart too.

"I'm— I'm not asking you to mutate her I'm just asking for both of you to know your position as an acquaintance only. Nothing more than work matters" You were still in your work attire as well. You decided to come to check on him before you went back home to your mother's house but guess you will be back staying the night here, seeing the man you love is clearly a mess.

"Like I said its all just a work matter—" Baekhyun defends himself. Drunk or not, his answer was still the same. Its only makes you to feel guilty, its only makes you to think maybe you're just overreacting all this time.

"But what she did is otherwise! And you" But the woman still took his bait for arguing anyway. Your head is a mess too. A thoughts for a divorce flashed in your vision, afraid that it would surely happening.

You pointing out into him, your fingers hitting his chest every time you spoke. "You let it happen because you aren't aware that it was crossing the line" You speak with an accentuation on every word, delivering your point loud and clear.

"Yeah but all I did—"

"She should have stayed in her lane and you should at least be bold to her, showing that you are a married man" You raised your hand in front of him, pointed to the ring he gave you on your finger. It was a matched one with him. And you were relieved when your eyes shifted into his fingers, seeing the ring is still wrapped around perfectly.

"And maybe you should also stop dragging other people into our relationship. Asking for their opinion and letting you be stirred up!" His words suddenly caused you to freeze. It hits you right in the chest as the realization is washed over you. You still have your eyes locked with his droopy one, your lips half parted inhaling the air that mixed with the smell of the alcohol.

"Are you talking about Sunny?" Your tone softened, having no energy left to raise your voice anymore. "Baekhyun—" Maybe he was right. You should stop seeking for her opinion related to your marriage because she was already interfering too deep.

You let out a tired sigh, "I'm sorry but I need someone to talk to and she is my current bestfriend. And she worked on the same roof as you. Without her, I wouldn't know that you were crossing the line at work. I trusted you but you broke my trust" You spoke softly, meanwhile Baekhyun just watched you with a tired gaze, aware that you haven't finished your sentences.

"Even that bitch dares to call you when you get home only for saying goodnight. But you, you never learn. You always pick the phone up with 'It might be related to work matters be we're currently aiming something at work'" You continued as you lifted your arms below your chest.

"I asked you the same, what will you do if you're in my position? Seeing me accidentally or purposely falling asleep on the couch with my head in another man's lap, inside the house that belongs to a married couple. What will you do, Baekhyun?" You asked, challenging him. You will surely have a tear falling to your cheeks one week ago when you talked about this but now, you were also surprised because your eyes are dry.

The man on the other side, didn't answer. His gaze seems empty and dull when it meets her tired one. The alcohol that runs in his bloodstream stops him from thinking rationally. But one thing for sure, he didn't want to see her falling for other men. He didn't want to see her turning her back to him. He didn't want to lose her.

Baekhyun suddenly broke his stare with her. His fingers were about to snatch the alcohol he put on the table earlier but you were faster to snatch it first. "How many bottles did you drink?"

You finally managed to go to the kitchen. Throwing the half-emptied snacks and bottles into the trash can. Baekhyun is silent now. He was watching you from the living room and still stood on his feet when you were back walking to him with a glass of water.

"Here, drink this instead. Drink slowly" You brought the glass into his mouth and he gladly accepted it. One gulp, two, three— five was fine until he pushed your hand away abruptly. You saw him running towards the bathroom before the sound of him vomiting followed right after.

It was 456317th times your mouth let out a sigh while your feet automatically carried you to him. The man was motionless on the floor, with the bathroom wall supporting his tired body. "Baekhyun—" You called out again, softly reaching for both of his arms to get him on his feet.

His eyes fluttered open, noticing that it was his wife still following him around. "Min— I'm sorry— I'm sorry please don't leave me" Like a drunk man he is, which he's still clearly still in his drunken state, broke into sobs.

You nodded in response, still trying to pull him to stand on his feet. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to leave. Please don't leave me sweetheart— I don't want to see you falling for other men. I'm sorry— I'm sorry I was a dick—" He shook his head and babbled between his broken sobs.

"Shh— Baekhyun— Baekhyun!" You called his name loudly. "I won't leave if you follow me to the shower" You spoke, trying a simple trick for the drunken man and surprisingly it worked.

He nodded, standing up on his feet quickly and letting him get dragged behind the shower stall. You unbuttoned his shirt off and let it fall to the floor in just a soft pull. Baekhyun stays still. He was watching you bend over to pull him out of his pants behind those heavy eyelids.

Now that he is completely bare, you turned the shower on. Warm water greeted his head down to his bare shoulder softly. "I'll wait outside. Call me if you need help"

It was supposed to be the last sentence you spoke before getting out of the bathroom but Baekhyun caught your hand when you were about to step out from the stall. "Join me"

There was a moment of silence for several seconds when he held his gaze against yours. Your mind will surely be cursing you if you fall into his sweet talk. But your heart can't deny the feeling that you were longing for the man. You missed him, you missed his touch, his kisses, his presence, all of him.

So here you are standing so close in front of him with the water already hitting your head. You were still very much clothed until Baekhyun started to unbutton your shirt one by one. When you finally bare, his arm slips against your waist to pull you closer.

The man lets out a satisfied hum when your body flushes together with him. Its feels like its been a very long time since you made a skin to skin contact with your husband because of the current situation. You missed the feeling of his body flushing against yours, you missed all the warmth he radiates so you closed your eyes, finally giving in.

You leaned your head into his shoulder as the water continued to stream down your and his body. You lose it on the next second when his lips come in contact with your neck and your shoulder to softly peppering sweet little kisses and repeating that he is completely sorry, regretting what he did in a quiet murmur.

You didn't respond, instead, you shut your eyes tightly to hold back the tears that wanted to come out. And he'd probably noticed how your body shook along with your chest vibrated when you can no longer hold your sorrow because his hold on your body tightened followed by his fingers went to your hair to calm you down.

You finally broke out into painful sobs. Your quiet sobs mixed with the sound of water streams down into the floor but it doesn't mean he can't hear you. Marriage is hard indeed. Its not easy to unite two different heads, its not easy to respect each other's opinions when it comes to which is wrong or which is right.

You loved this man so much and you let this man tie you up in a vows witnessed by many people. It's only been one year but he is already behaving like this even though maybe this whole mess was just a misunderstanding and a different point of view. But this is what scares you. You were afraid that one day he will choose another woman over you, he will finally turn his back to you, and then you will witness his wedding ring finally slipping away from his finger.

Kyoongboxi's works 🐾

[scoobydoodean]

I don't mean to talk out of my ass, and am saying nothing about how alcoholism works in the real world, but when it comes to the fictional world of the show I really don't think they ever meant to imply Dean has a dependency issue when it comes to alcohol. I think what the show is actually doing is using short hand for either "Dean is in a bad mental state and self medicating" or, separately and not related to that, is using alcohol as a glamorized "cowboy who can put away his liquor" shorthand. For contrast, I'm watching House right now and (regardless of if it does a good job depicting addiction, which I feel absolutely unqualified to comment on) it does want the audience to understand that House is an addict.

I think the issue is there is a lot of room to bring your own personal experiences with alcohol to interpreting the show, and obviously if those have been bad it's easy to apply that to Dean, who does drink frequently in show. As do Sam, Cas, Bobby, Rufus, Ellen, etc. I don't know why people focus in on Dean specifically, though.

I think the funniest thing about this disk horse (which I consider to be over btw—using this as a springboard for closing thoughts) is that I never said at any point that Dean has never abused alcohol. I didn't even say there's no point in the show at which he can be described as an alcoholic (Dean describes himself as one in 10.12 "About A Boy"). I didn't even say I would never believe that Dean has ever driven drunk ever in his entire life, or that headcanoning that Dean has driven drunk before at some point is somehow some horrible evil thing.

All I did was respond to mail asking me if I remembered times in the actual show where Dean was shown drunk driving, because my anon heard a claim that it is shown to us "All of the time" in the actual show, and didn't remember that, and they were looking for someone with a more recent memory who could corroborate. So I said I don't remember that happening explicitly in the show either, and invited people to provide examples if they remembered an example.

I think if the show wanted to say Dean is a frequent drunk driver— specifically—the show would show me Dean being a drunk driver. It wasn't a problem for the show to quite overtly show me Sam driving drunk in 4.09—it wasn't something they shied away from showing. If (to your point—which you are absolutely right about) alcohol is used as a signal of our characters current mental states (Bobby in 4.01, Sam in 4.09, Cas in 5.17, Dean in 10.22, etc) then there's no reason the show would refuse to simply show me Dean being a frequent drunk driver. I'd be happy to explore it if I thought frequent drunk driving was a genuine facet of Dean's character. I just don't think it is, because the show doesn't show me that. And people can say all day long that "Dean drinks a lot" + "Dean has a car and is often in the drivers seat" = "Dean is a frequent drunk driver" until they're blue in the face. I am still holding out my hand, palm up, waiting for an actual example instead of whiney voices crying and whining insisting it simply HAS to be true because they think it should be.

I think you're right at the end of the day that the show isn't worried about Dean being an alcoholic as much as the show uses upticks in each character's drinking to indicate they're going through something—you're 100% right there. I also understand and respect that some people legitimately—with well-meaning intent—want to explore Dean's relationship to alcohol, because it's absolutely in theme imo and I think there's more attention ultimately put on it with Dean than any other character (though this is not true up to season 4 in my current rewatch). I just can't say I'm sitting here wringing my hands over Dean's relationship with alcohol in the actual canon of the actual show. I'm just not. The fact is, our characters have extremely limited options in terms of coping tools, and have trauma more extensive in breadth and length and diversity than anyone in real life has experienced ever, and are almost perpetually existing in a war zone. The fact that they self-medicate in various ways in order to cope isn't remotely surprising and I don't think there's anything shameful and evil about it either especially given their circumstances and utter lack of options. I just also... don't think Dean is a frequent drunk driver.

[hanktalkin]

hello! i love the way you write demo, so i am querying here: do you have any tips/characterization pointers for writing him?

I'll pop between canon traits and my own, extrapolated interpretations of them.

Accent/Speaking Pattern

Other people have done some good compilations of his accent, so I won't retread that. See here for reference:

General Disposition

Most of the time Demo is the comedic straight man. See his characterization (both as a child and an adult) in Bombinomicon and The Naked and the Dead. Bizarre, Magical, and straight up Odd things happen to him, and he finds them concerning but the general comedy of his character comes from his underreaction to those things.

Interpretation => Demo underreacts to important events, and overreacts to minor things (think of him getting very weepy at the drop of the hat, especially while drunk)

Most things are water off a duck's back to him. He doesn't hold grudges. See his very easy forgiveness of both Medic and Sniper.

Interpretation => He is amicable, and generally gets along with everybody, but has difficult forming meaningful bonds. Or at the least, he tries not to be too bothered by the things his teammates do, lest he actually get hurt by them again.

Trauma

Alcoholism is a difficult subject. Plain and simple. Specifically with Demo, either it's his only defining characteristic (most of Game!Demoman, and a good chunk of the rest of canon) or it's ignored/played down (which I don't blame people for doing, as either you know you can't approach something like this with enough nuance in a small oneshot, or due to whatever personal reasons alcoholism is a difficult subject to broach.) There are some angles to go at it.

Demo was written this way simply due to it being a Scottish stereotype. However, much of his backstory revolves around various traumatic events he experienced as a child.

Interpretation => It's not too far of a jump to tie these threads together and say Demo drinks to suppress the trauma he experienced as a child. As a way to tackle in fic, make it clear this is his coping mechanism, a tool for forgetting.

Hope this helps! If you're looking for some more specific tips let me know

[faededaway]

[androidxhuman, smut, FEM human, too much plot maybe, space plot, oh aphrodisiac mention, bar and alcohol mentioned] 2k words

Interspace travel is hard for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes the atmosphere is incompatible with the spacecraft, sometimes the air is spicy, the water too hot, the bourbon too old, communication too complex, and sometimes, on rare occasions, the bartenders are too kind.

Fess had just finished her part of the supply run for her crew when she stopped by a bar. Upon sharing her profession with the bartender, they served her a drink on the house.

“We’re from Rosenborough. We went to help a planet in the neighbouring galaxy recover from a sunflare,”

The bartender stared at her quizzically until she explained, "we help planets live when their sun gets too hot."

“Oh! You guys do a lot for our homes. Us laymen just don't get it. Let me pour you a drink on the house!” After asking Fess about any dietary restrictions, the bartender slid a glittering glass of pink towards her.

Fess downed it with gratefulness, not many knew her job was real.

Five hours later, she wonders if that was a mistake.

“I told you! That fucking bean stew was just soil!”

“Shut up! It's obviously the water! Someone didn't clean the filter like they were supposed to!”

"Fess, show us where it hurts. We'll narrow the symptoms and pull up possible-"

Her crew members are hunched over her fetal position on the common room floor.

She holds a palm out towards her crewmates, "I know... w-what's up. The- hng- cramps. Just need'ta s-sleep on it.” She grits out.

“Were they always this bad?”

“The water made it worst!”

“Guys, stop stressing her out!”

She's grateful for their concerns but she cannot bare to tell them she was foolish enough to accept free drinks at a strange town. In hindsight, she should have known this could have happened. People in her profession were stereotyped as stuck up virgins, 'they live and die for science." Embarrassing to think that the first time in years someone recognizes her profession, they 'gift' her an aphrodisiac. She can't help but wonder if it's on her face somehow. 'Here, here, this scientist, yes, tip her over so she actually does something about her pent up sexual feelings.'

At first, she ignored the subtle hints. Slight flush, raised heart beat, a little light-headedness, followed by an inability to sit still. To her chagrin, it took her keeling to realise it isn’t something that’ll go away on its own. So, she walks (hobbles) over to her room (more like an enclosure) and climbs up to her bed. She hopes sleep will make it go away, like it usually does.

Four hours go by. The frustration in her body remains. Every passing minute somehow heightened the drinks effects. Now, every movement makes her groan. She tries to keep her voice down, to make no noise at all. The walls of her enclosure are thick but she is sick. It's possible that her crying noises will alert someone, someone she really doesn't want to-

“Fess? It's gotten worse hasn't it? You're not asleep and you're crying now.” It didn't knock like it usually does. It lets itself in, and shuts the door behind it.

Ravi.

Ravi, the droid that accompanied her crew as a medic and "legal arbitrator for special occasions". Her crew isn't a gang of friends. It's a mishmash of "people who need to be here" and to avoid blow ups (sabotages) the ship came with a third party medic (mediator or consolidator depending on what caused the damage).

Ravi is more touchy feely than the others on the crew. Sometimes it feels like Ravi is overcompensating for its droid-ness. But Fess absolutely loves it.

Apparently, it designed its own appearance based on what appealed to it. It has a soft body, plush thighs and plush stomach. Like someone who lives a comfortable and happy life. Someone who smiles at their neighbours every morning, someone who always cooks enough to share, someone who always has change to spare, someone who coos and caws at you when they bottom out in you.

"Hnnghh", yeah. This is why Fess does not want to see Ravi. Ravi makes her feel things she would rather not acknowledge.

"Fess!" Ravi runs to her bedside when it hears her whimpers mistaking them for cries of pain.

Ravi kneels next to her bed. With it so close, Fess can smell it. She's not sure if it's cologne or just the way it smells but it smells of freshly pressed shirts and morning dew and fu-

"Hnnng ahhhhh", Fess turns her head away from it and squeezes her thighs.

"If it's so bad, ask me for help. I'm the medic, am I not? Use me. I'm here to help you. Is it your lower back or your stomach? Hmm?,” it pauses for a beat to hear her response.

The intonation of it's "hmm?" makes Fess bite her lips to stop the herself from outing herself. It sounds just how she needs it to sound.

When she doesn't say anything, it continues, “I'm going to use my scans to see if I can detect which parts of your body hurt the most. It should only take a minute. Please hold on.”

She should panic now. She would panic if she was a tad bit more lucid. Hearing Ravi’s voice made Fess use all of her remaining will to hold herself back from touching herself in front of it.

"You'll be fine, Fess. Just a few more seconds and I'll know what's wrong with you. You've been so good for the past hours. Getting to handle this on your own. You've always done that haven't you? Try to take care of yourself so that others aren't burdened. Such a caring girl."

"Mmmm" a groan leaves her mouth. Ravi brings its hand up to her head and rubs her hair. It's trying to help but its touch, its warmth, makes Fess feel worse (better). Fess can't help but lean into its hands.

Suddenly, Ravi's hand freezes. It seems to have completed the scans.

In the moment of silence, Fess hears how ragged her breathing is. In the quietest of tones, she even hears the soft pinging of Ravi's 'heart'.

"Fess, from what my scans show and what I've heard, I assume you need assistance,” Fess's heart leaps to her throat. She jerks her head to look at it, to say no, to ask it to go away.

But what she sees in it's eyes, steals the words from her throat.

“With your consent, I would like to-, what I mean is, please say yes if you will accept my help. Say no if-”

“Yes! Please, please, please, yes!”

Ravi would be being dishonest if it said it had no clue about Fess's predicament. The signs were there. As the ship's medic whose crew regularly wait until the brink of death to seek help, Ravi has learned to look out for signs of poor health.

It noticed the unexplained flush on Fess's skin first. It assumed the ship temperature was too high and adjusted it for her. When that didn't do anything, it checked for a fever or raised BP when it noticed a few peculiar things: hands repeatedly fidgeting with her shirt, thighs pressed tightly together, her hips subtly grinding on every seat followed by her jerking up after catching herself do said thing.

Ravi is a good medic. It noticed these things long ago. But it knows humans have certain feelings towards sex. And if Fess says the issue lies somewhere else, Ravi the good medic knows to give patients the benefit of the doubt.

So, it waited. it even paced outside her room to make sure she slept or at least did something to help her predicament. When it noticed no sign of her doing anything to help herself, it had to intervene.

The scans it just did, were not "medical" scans. Ravi just needed a moment to gather itself. Again, it would be lying if it said this is strictly professional. Ravi isn't here just to help someone in a somewhat medical emergency. Anyone in the crew, any person from Fess's contact list, or even any sex toy could help her. Just masturbation would make the effects of this drug subside until it leaves the body. Really. As a medic, Ravi could have said these things to her.

But the thought of Fess using any of those options, made its heart ping in an irregular beat. The only option it wanted Fess to have was one where Ravi took care of her by itself.

Fess is, by far, its favorite patient. She always listens to all of its instructions. She is always on time for all of her health checks. She always smiles and thanks Ravi for simply doing its job. Sometimes she evens hugs Ravi really tight. Her heart rate and body temperature would always be slightly above normal when she did that, just slightly. It would always hug her back and hold her until her heart calmed down.

Those moments taught it how good physical touch feels. Slowly, it started to initiate physical contact with her on more occasions. It started with morning high fives then moved to hugs for good night wishes. Not everyone in the crew reacted the way it wanted, so a lot of this touch was reserved for Fess. As they spent more time together, Ravi wanted to touch more of her. This nonsensical occurrence is Ravi's chance at finally doing it. But it has to put her first. It wants her to feel good.

“Fess,” it holds her face with both it's hands, “the moment you feel any discomfort, we stop. I'll ask you once again, do you want to be intimate with me?”

The words formed on her lips but the only sound escaping her throat was a moan.

Slowly, Ravi climbs onto the bed, laying on top of her. It holds itself up by an arm to not put all it's weight on her. It's legs trap hers between its own.

For a moment, the two of them stare at each other. In their time together, nothing similar has ever happened before. Fess winces when she thinks of how much she messed up. Ravi has to stop itself from vibrating in excitement; it thinks this is the most fortunate outcome of this predicament.

Ravi makes the first move just a second later, “Fess, I am going to kiss you.”

Her body reacts before she can think, her lips part to invite Ravi in. Immediately, she's moaning into their kiss. Her chest rises to meet Ravi's a few inches away, as if even the slightest distance is no longer bearable for her. It leans into her to reel her in. It finds her hands and intertwines its fingers with hers.

It's a needy kiss where she relies on Ravi to pull away to remind her to breathe. Not wasting a second, Ravi then moves to kiss the exposed skin of her collarbones, tracing the little stars of a galaxy tattooed across her chest. It fills the black inked space with red and purple cloud, never tiring of coloring her skin.

Fess pulls Ravi's face back to hers, “feels, feels too much!”

Ravi gives her a sheepish smile, “sorry, I'm sorry. I'll go slower.”

Once again, they take a moment to look at each other. Fess's arms cup Ravi's face, “Ravi.. I've,” for a moment she wants to tell it how she wanted to do this ever since she first saw Ravi.

Ravi sees her words get caught in her throat and fills in with its assumptions, “it is alright. I know you are feeling very sensitive. I will not do anything unpleasant. We can remain like this if you want. We can kiss and lay in bed all day if that will help you.” It leans into the hands holding its face; the sincerity in it's words lay heavy in her hands.

She only nods in return.

It moves it's weight onto the other arm before moving the free one to her lower body. Feeling the warmth of her body, Ravi lowers the temperature of its fingertips before tracing the band of her trousers.

Fess shivers under its touch. The coolness soothes her as much as it burns her, “Ravi!” its name escapes her in a sigh. Her hands feel the cool skin, the soft dips, the curves of its face. Her hand curls into it's hair, like she's dreamt of doing.

Ravi's hand traces the v of her hips before parting her legs with its own. It feels an excitement brewing in it's abdomen. Ravi wants Fess in ways it has only seen others want each other. It wants to be in her, really bad.

“Mmm, ah, Ravi! Yes, please, do more of that!”

It has to take a moment to consider what she may be asking for. If she wanted more of the kiss, she wouldn't have stopped to ask for more, right?Right now, she seems more lucid than it. Ravi tries to find the right words to say.

“More of what, Fess? Whatever it is you want, I want to provide.”

“I want to hear more of you! I love hearing you moan. I-, you sound better than I imagined.”

In elation, a noise escapes it throat. Her reaction tells Ravi, more of this. Be more vocal, it notes.

Its hand travels lower slowly. Its fingers twitch with ecstasy; it has imagined itself fingering her hundred times before. It has thought of how its synthetic skin would compute the sensation of her warmth. It has simulated parting her lips to reach the swollen clit. In the simulation, it always starts with the lightest touch on her labia; ghost touches that make her want more. Her shivering and whining encourages it to do more. One finger dips in. Then, Ravi imitates the movements it has seen humans do in videos. It watches her reactions carefully then changes the strokes accordingly, in the simulation.

In reality, Ravi's hand moves before its brain can make any assessments. When the pace is too fast, Fess's hands reign its hands in. When the pace is too slow, her hips move to accommodate.

“It- it's okay, Ravi, hey,” frustration colors Ravi's face bright enough for Fess to notice.

Her palms cup Ravi's face, trying to bring ease the tension out of its jaw.

“I- I needed time to figure this out, too. You're doing better than I did on my first try.”

Ravi takes a deliberate breath to sync its brain with the rest of its body. A second breath gives it the time to run its simulations with what it learnt about her preferences just now.

A thumb on her clit, two fingers inside her, and the rest of its palm touching as much of her as possible; it executes the simulation.

Fess's breath hitches. Her legs squeeze around Ravi's hand, her chest rises to meet Ravi's chest. Hands in its hair tighten.

Soon, Ravi witnesses something it stores as a core memory.

Fess's body convulses under Ravi's, coming undone. An immediate relief washes over her face.

Freed from the clutches of the aphrodisiac, Fess looks up at Ravi. The droid she dreamt of sleeping with made her come. She wonders if and how she can return the favor. The look on its face, tells her she doesn't need to try.

“Thank you, Ravi,” she cannot meet its eyes then, fluster settles in.

“It is my pleasure,” the sincerity in its voice makes her turn to it.

“You mean it?”

“Fess, I have dreamt of this many times. I have wanted to do this far longer than I would admit.”

“Ravi, I have wanted you too. I, I want you now! I've wanted you since the day I met you.”

In silence, they let their confessions sink in. They think of when and if they would've every confessed to each other. They think of how long ago they could have held each other.

“I think I need to go thank the bartender someday,” Fess thinks out loud.

“I think so too. But, next time, just ask me to help you. I don't think I can wait 8 hours.”

“Oh shush! There will be no next time!”

“No? No next time?”

In a panic she rushes,“I mean, I, I will not, un-, I don't need an aphrodisiac to-, I will ask, uh-”

Ravi cups her face this time, “It is okay, I know.”

[eldritchsurveys]

1219.

Are you afraid of the dark? >> I am not. I don't recall ever having a fear of darkness, in fact. Not even as a child.

Do you watch American Horror Story? >> I watched a few seasons (Murder House, Coven, Asylum, Apocalypse, parts of others) a long time ago. I liked some parts of Coven but found other parts insufferable. I did think Apocalypse was cool, iirc. I don't know, it's hard to like AHS; it feels like something I should enjoy -- lurid, pulpy, smutty, all my favourite adjectives are here -- but then I watch it and I'm just like *sighs heavily*. I don't know, man. It just hits too many wrong notes for me, and those notes are usually very prominent elements of the show (a main-character casting, for example) so I can't just ignore them.

Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? >> I don’t know any urban legends about any place I’ve lived. I’m sure they exist, but I never thought to seek them out.

What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? .

Are you medicated? >> Self-medicated, sure.

Does your family/friends have a nickname for you? .

Who’s some of your favorite YouTubers? >> I have a pretty sizeable subscription list, but it's mostly media analysers. I'll name three faves: In Praise of Shadows, Jacob Geller, and TheGamingMuse.

Do you have any bad habits? >> According to someone, I'm sure.

What did you get for Christmas? >> Raycon earbuds, a pillow, a weighted blanket, and something else I've forgotten. All things from my wishlist.

Do you have any phobias? >> I do not.

What’s one of your biggest pet peeves? >> Whatever goes on with my Internet where it'll drop for a few seconds and then come back online. It's very annoying when gaming. Are there any scented candles in the room you’re in? >> There is one scented candle in my room. Pancakes or French toast? >> Neither, ideally. But I've had some French toast that I've liked.

Did you have anything for breakfast today? >> The first meal I had was this pork carnitas microwave meal thing that I got from the food pantry. It was Great Value brand so I wasn't expecting much, and yeah it was pretty lame. Still edible. At this point, I'm just glad for the variety.

Are there any apps you’re addicted to? >> I am not addicted to any apps. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? >> I don’t think I was particularly attached to any of them.

Do you still collect stuffed animals? >> I enjoy plushies now way more than I did as a child, I think. I have like 30 of them.

How do you feel about Spongebob? >> I don’t like Spongebob.

Do you have any nervous habits? >> Maybe by someone's standards. I don't call anything I do a "nervous habit", so I couldn't say.

What drink do you normally order at Starbucks? >> I don’t normally order at Starbucks.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? >> I don't.

Which way do you face in the shower? >> Facing the showerhead, always. I can't face the other direction, it freaks me out for some reason.

What’s your favorite comfort food to eat? >> So many, but I don't want to think about them right now because I can't have them.

What do you wear to bed? >> One of two pairs of pj pants, and a tank top or camisole.

Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? .

What’s the last movie you watched at home? >> Sound of My Voice.

What’s the last movie you watched in theaters? >> Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. I wish I could afford to see Longlegs.

Do you/did you ever have a Neopets account? >> I did not.

When’s the last time you were camping? >> October of... 2015? Something like that. I would die to go camping again. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? >> I have not.

If you do drink, what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? >> I'm not sure now. Drinking is an expense I can never afford much anymore.

Are there any songs you’ve been listening to repetitively lately? >> I don't usually do that, no.

What’s your favorite coffee mug look like? >> It's white on the outside with a cute lil cactus design and it's yellow on the inside.

Do you have any pets? >> I personally do not.

Are you passive-aggressive? >> Not as a rule. It is a strategy I've learned from the myriad passive-aggressive people I've known, but I prefer more aggressive approaches personally.

Do you have social anxiety? >> I wouldn't say so. I'm easily triggered in social scenarios, so I can be anxious about the inevitability of that, but I wouldn't say I have social anxiety per se.

Have you ever had fried pickles? >> Sparrow likes them so I might have tried one if they ordered some. I don't recall.

Where’s your favorite place to go out to eat? .

Do you like plaid button-ups? >> They're all right, but I can live without them. There are plenty of other similar garments that I prefer.

Do you have any Valentine’s Day plans? >> I never have plans for that.

Have you/would you ever go bungee jumping? >> I mean, I could be tempted into it.

What’s the last theme park you visited? >> Disney World.

Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? >> I like all three.