#i can't do this i'm genuinely too disabled

[immortalsins]

im so so tired jsjdhbj an engineering employers panel just scared me half to death with their startups and innovation and investment and passion commitment linkedin networking etc etc etc i hate it here

[honey-skulls]

The fact that pots and cfs/me is incurable (I'm convinced that that's a lie, just like with "incurable" stuff like cancers, there is possible treatments, but doctors couldn't give less of a fuck about us and thus aren't doing research on what could help us) and this constant song and dance of fighting with parents and doctors to get help or even believed at all and going nowhere. And most importantly, that this is my new forever, and I'll NEVER be able to go back to what i could do only 2 years ago, is finally sinking in

And I'm only fucking 21, 20 when it started

I'm seeing people lamenting about not being able to do what they did in their 20s now, but i haven't even got to try adulthood at all before it got ripped away from me forever

How the fuck am i supposed to keep going knowing that no one will ever understand or give me help, i will constantly get not believed and pushed into crashes by doing the bare minimum, and everything i was planning and excited about doing because of the freedom of adulthood, be it learning new hobbies, travelling somewhere, or just where and how I'd like to move in and live in the future, has to be dumped in the trash

But yeah it's all anxiety in my head. Go take walks, loose weight, drink water, play less video games (i play around 6 hours a week) and go play board games at the public library, they say

Great

This is my new "life"

[neverendingford]

along the same line as the whole "why do you need to know someone's autistic before you stop bullying them for their autistic traits?" thing I've seen floating around

apologizing for it once you know is meaningless. it doesn't change the fact that you deliberately mocked someone for their behavior.

.

a customer mocked my stutter and I've lost all patience with that so I looked him in the eyes and said "I have a speech disability" and he immediately got all apologetic and was like "I wasn't making fun of you". Bro yes you were. you didn't realize you were making fun of a disability I've spent my entire life struggling with, but you were nonetheless.

just because you don't know you're being an asshole doesn't mean you're not being an asshole. you can apologize but I'm not going to forgive you.

[swamp-world]

"Why are we exclusivising behaviours everyone experiences" because something like RSD for example is not, in fact, something everyone experiences. It is a symptom and has a name for a goddamn reason. The literal point of it being dysphoria is that it is disproportionate and difficult to manage. Dyphoria is not just "I felt bad", it is often anxiety. Like. @goodguydotmp3 is 100% right and I am so fucking tired of this rhetoric repackaged as being "humanizing" and "the emotionally mature thing to do".

A disability is a disability for a reason and you need to fucking get comfortable with that fact.

The idea of "pathologizing vs humanizing" and "using it as an excuse or cop-out" and "it's not relatable" is so transparently uninterested in actual mental health, wellness, and any acknowledgement of what mental illness and disability actually are, and while here the example is directed at ADHD and RSD, which are the Hot New Brain Worms Of The Month, the logic is a million times more insidious and often seems, if you haven't been on the receiving end of it, to be good and sound. But like.

A condition is often a condition for a reason, and those conditions can be Fucking Debilitating. This applies even if you experience the same condition as the person you are speaking to. If someone says to you "I'm sorry about this thing, I am severely depressed" it's actually pretty fucking gross to say "So what, I'm depressed too" (a thing which I and many others have experienced, and which has been gleefully shared in the notes of this post).

Frankly, it actually strikes me as worse in a lot of ways to act like a condition is universal, and that us both being depressed cancels out like a math equation, or that you are depressed in an identical way to me, or to the same degree, or in the same circumstances, than it does to say "I'm sorry I did XYZ thing, situations like this have been difficult for me or volatile because I have depression".

Like. Has the whole point of mental health activism not been the literal Invisibility Of Mental Illness???

The second response demonstrated by OP demands obscuration of the disability or condition or situation. To claim that it's pathologizing and therefore bad to use the phrases which are formally recognized, have been given to you to describe your circumstances and situations, and are literally designed to give phrasing to experiences so that you can identify and work with them more easily, is fucking insane.

Frankly the idea of "humanize your mental illness instead of pathologizing it" is just a reworded version of "don't use the scary medical words that might indicate that you have an actual medical condition because then people have to acknowledge the reality of your situation instead of just getting to believe that you are a bad and/or lazy person". It is functionally just "It's just easier for everyone else if you don't actually say that you're disabled and frame things as a personal failing instead of a contextualized struggle, so you should just not say it".

Because vital to note is that this wasn't "make sure you aren't ending at using clinical terms to explain your response to a situation", it was "use Normal People Words instead".

God this feels like such a fucking nuclear comparison but if court systems can have a fucking Not Criminally Responsible clause—where a person is literally understood to be mentally ill in a way that they literally, in fact, cannot take responsibility for their actions (which apparently is the "emotionally mature thing to do")—then you should be able to fucking integrate that idea into your day-to-day life, and at much less severe levels.

The other implication of this post (intentional or not), specifically the reblog with the tags on it, is that mental illnesses are not in fact as severe as people are making them out to be. RSD does not mean "You said something to me and it hurt my feelings", it is a clinical lack of ability to regulate emotions and responses, and to acknowledge that is not to pathologize, or to excuse, but to understand that this is a core symptom of the medical condition that a person has been diagnosed with.

The issue is not in most cases that I think that my experiences are unique and need to be explained in clinical language to The Other People Who Couldn't Possibly Understand My Feelings, it's that there is some modifier to those shared feelings, and that modifier is not shared, and is likely not self-evident. To refuse to acknowledge the difference between that and the idea that a person is "self-alienating" through using clinical language is transparently uninterested in the actual matter at hand, or at any attempt to get a ground level understanding of disability, mental illnessness, and what it actually means.

And as the above poster mentioned, jesus christ, extend this logic to anything beyond the more publicized conditions like anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc. to anything such as bipolar disorders, schizophrenia and related conditions, psychosis, personality disorders, etc. and it becomes much more obvious how this rhetoric is used as a cudgel.

Other people are more qualified and better-spoken on the matter of the fact that The Core Issue With Hallucinations And Delusions Is That You Are Unable To Distinguish Them From Material Reality, but like. That feels worth mentioning here.

Not to mention things like (hypo-)mania, where you may not have control over your actions, or do things you otherwise would not do. I know of at least three people in my life who, sometimes in efforts to treat other disabilities (mental and physical alike), have experienced workplace issues because of mania, and in at least two of those cases they were given compassionate medical leave because they Had A Medical Condition, not discipline because they refused to take responsibility for their actions which apparently is "the emotionally responsible thing to do".

Because the core of it is: mental illness and disability are things that happen to people, not things that other people are doing. And when things happen to you, things that you do become difficult for you and everyone else. And the idea that acknowledging and explaining that fact to other people is not humanizing or is alienating or is avoiding the problem or not taking responsibility or pathologizing instead of...experiencing often invisible situations which often are not just out of your control but actively remove your control over yourself?? The idea that explaining or acknowledging that doesn't actually lend anything to the situation, even when it is a part of reality and ought to be recognized as such, and that even when there are literally medically-recognized conditions that contribute to an action or response, the person should still take responsibility for their actions that medically they are often unable or significantly more challenged to control??? Responsibility not as in, I must respond to this matter and attempt to correct it, but responsibility as in ownership of the action or blame on an immediate level???

That feels pretty gross.

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[beautifulsugarcube]

Like I've been placed in this impossible situation where I have no choice but to live with my mom, I'd be homeless otherwise. My health has been worsening so while in theory I'm thankful to have a place to comfortably stay, in relative peace, she nor my step dad can care for me or would care for me. If that entered the equation I'd start to experience carer abuse.

So an easy solution has naturally occurred: my partner sleeps over most if not every night. He works really close by, his house (lives with family) is 4 times the distance from his work from where I live from his work. He works with his dad and gets paid absolute shit, but the job market here is absolute shit so there's not really any other option (he's been applying) and the nicest part: when he gets off work he can get me the things I need and help me with things!

She's understandably annoyed about this, he is more than happy to help out around the house and does - but she has memory issues and sees him as another warm body who is racking up the water bill. Which is. Very stressful. She asked me if he could shower at work ??? Which was insane he works at a mechanic shop, I think I mentioned in passing months ago it's funny that their bathroom has a broken shower filled with parts once?? I'm so baffled ???

She's extremely empathetic to my step dad who she met when he was 24 when he started working as a contractor - who also works 6 day weeks. But my step dad gets paid very well and always has, and works for a large successful company. My partner works for his dad at their mom and pop mechanic shop, and doesn't have much choice in the matter (it's ... an extremely convoluted situation, but generally can be boiled down to; no one else is hiring regardless)

So it's like I get her stress about money (it's only the money she really likes him?). I literally can't do anything unless I want to be treated like an invalid shitty mean style. And I don't? The fuck? I have a treatment plan, and I'll be better 'in theory' in a couple of months. I'm taking care of myself pretty well and going to majority of all the doctors I need (the only one I'm not she refuses me to see as she thinks they're too expensive.. co pay's the same lol)

For some godforsaken reason I tried to be nice to her today and she told me I'm racking up the water bill like she does every time we talk. Before I moved in she and my step dad would leave all the lights on in the house all day and night, but yes, I'm the issue... not like we're in a cost of living crisis aaaaaaaasss

[david-watts]

there used to be this programme on sbs years back where it looked at whether certain homeopathic/natural/cultural medicine had actual benefits or not and I'm sure that programme did really good things in terms of legitimising genuine alternative treatments that have helped many people but what I mostly remember it doing was making my grandmother go 'see you don't need to be on medicine' and then not even allowing me to do the alternative medicine either. which was great

[lunar-fey]

$26.30/300

after officially 4 full weeks i am going to be back to work tomorrow! however, i do still need to pay bills before i'll have my first paycheck, specifically by monday, may 5th! i've lowered the goal just a touch since some meds can wait until after i get my check, but if ya'll can still spread this/help out it would be greatly appreciated!! thanks so much for the help thus far!!

please help your local disabled trans man being fucked over by its job

howdy! i'm nate and i currently work as an in-home caretaker for elderly and disabled folk! however, around 2 months ago my longterm client passed away very unexpectedly which left me without work for 2 weeks.

after that i did get a new client, but last monday (march 31) i got a call (at fucking 8:30 am. woke my ass up.) saying i didn't need to come in bc her daughter (who was in the process of moving in w her) is taking over as her caretaker. which like. fair.

BUT between the fact that she was always in and out bc of doctor appointments (also very understandable), and the fact that it has now been another week and a half since i've had hours to work, on top of the initial 2 weeks i was out, i'm uhhhhh hurtin a bit.

i've been checking with the manager every like 2-3 days to make sure there still aren't any clients i can take, literally just called today, but as of now i'm just sitting around with bills to pay and no way to get an income for who knows how long. SO.

IF you'd like to help out and you want something for your money there aint a lot i can offer, but i can do tarot readings, i can kinda draw (very slowly bc my hands r fucked up), do a bit of graphic design, write, and idk if you wanna pay me for something else send me a message and we can figure it out.

links below ˅˅˅

ANYTHING HELPS but for now. lets get through the month

$0/350

[renthony]

Too many leftists are still glorifying work for work's sake. Too many leftists have equated "performing labor" with "moral fortitude."

If your ideal society has no place for people who genuinely, fully, 100% do not want to work, or who can't work, your ideal society is not as ideal as you think. There has to be space for people who don't "contribute," there has to be space for people who don't fulfill some greater "purpose," there has to be space for people who cannot and will not ever be a part of the labor force.

I am a firm believer that laziness does not exist, and if someone is flat-out refusing to do something, there's a good reason for it. That reason could be disability, it could be fear, it could be a lack of education, it could be that they're confused or lost and don't fully understand what they're supposed to do, it could be that they don't have the skills, it could be that they're at their limit and need a break, it could be that the task is uninteresting or not relatable to them and they don't understand why it's necessary, it could be countless other reasons. "They're just lazy" is a cruel assumption that doesn't solve any problems or accomplish any tasks.

But even if I'm wrong, and laziness is real, you can't penalize "laziness" without hitting a lot of disabled or otherwise vulnerable people in the crossfire. You cannot and will not ever create a society in which everyone is a perfect worker. There has to be a way for someone to contribute absolutely nothing to the labor force, but still be taken care of instead of left to needlessly suffer.

[laaailuh]

hiii, i love your stuff! I was wondering if you can do a fic about miles getting upset because reader is getting too much attention from other guys on a post 😺

"Delete it."🕸️🕷️

ㅤ

pairing: e!42 miles x black!reader

warnings: light swearing, argument, possessiveness

Summary:  Miles gets upset because you're receiving too much attention from other guys on a bikini post.

a/n: im trying to get these requests done

I saw it, you can delete it now

ㅤ

???

ㅤ

your new post

ㅤ

hell nah 💀

Seen

Incoming facetime call from Miles💕

ㅤ

“So you gon' delete it or not?"

“Why would I do that?”

“Cause niggas are commenting some crazy shit and ion like dat.”

“I can't tell if you’re actually being serious right now.”

“Dead ass.”

“Well, I’m not deleting it.”

He rubbed his face in frustration. “I'm not tryna argue with you baby.”

“Then don't?”

“Look, the way these guys are talking under there is making it seem like they don't know you wit' someone."

“I'm sure they do, I tagged your account on my boobs.”

He scrunched his face and then opened up your post again.

“Oh shit, you did.”

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah dumbass."

“Ight, what if you disable the comments?”

“Bye Miles.” You said and hung up the call.

This nigga really don't give up.

As you were wiping off your makeup, you heard your bedroom door open.

"Yo."

Turning your head towards the voice, you saw your boyfriend standing next to the doorway.

"Who let you in?"

"Your mamma did."

You turned your head back around, facing your vanity.

He sat on the edge of your bed. "I'm sorry about earlier, I realized I was being possessive and controlling."

"Damn right."

He turned your chair sideways, "It’s hard to apologize if you're not looking at me Ma."

You sighed and put your wipes down.

"I bought your shein and sephora cart, should be coming in two weeks or so."

A genuine smile spread across your lips, "You did?"

"Wow, look who's smilin'? Hopefully you can drop this little attitude f'me then."

"You know I was gonna forgive you either way? Kinda just played your self right there."

Miles grinned and pulled you onto his lap.

"Mhm...did I mention how sexy you looked in those photos?"

You shook your head.

He took your hand and kissed your knuckles. "Bueno, te lo digo ahora, princesa." (Well i'm telling you now, princess.")

[bunni-v1]

i genuinely adore how you write smc, it’s so so real and accurate

on that note, could you write something in relation of him & a reader with terminal illness ?

Generally speaking, there's not much that would change in his behavior. He's still overbearing and sickeningly sweet to you. There are a few things that might be a little different though.

He probably could magically cure you if he wanted to, but I fucking HATE that trope in media with a passion. So I'm not gonna touch it because disabled people aren't broken, they just need to be accommodated. And that's number one; he is super accommodating to your needs. The spire is made so it is easier for you to get around, if you can't walk or struggle to do so with your illness he'll make you the nicest mobility aids ever. You won't have to worry about things not working or being unable to wander around, he'll make sure you can.

If you're having a bad day, you won't have to want for anything. He's at your beck and call, whenever you need him. If he even leaves your side at all. If he does for any reason, one of his many servants will take care of you until he can. It is the best care you could ever ask for, I'm serious. He knows all about how to care for all kinds of disorders and diseases, so he applies that knowledge to you better than any doctor you've seen has. Perks of being with the former fount of knowledge I guess lol.

He's more protective than even if you're ill. He'll still let you go about your day, but he's anxious about anything that could happen to you more than usual. You've already got limited time, he's not trying to make that time any shorter for any reason. Even the slightest shift in expression and he's at your side like a worried mother, it would be cute if it didn't happen so fucking much.

Lastly, and this is dependent on what you want in this case. If your illness is too much to bear and he cannot take it away, he won't try and extend your life. He wants you to spend the rest of eternity by his side, he adores you more than anything, but if you're suffering he can't bring himself to force you to live with the pain.

He'll do everything he can to make your life easier, even if he can't magically cure you. The time you spend with him is likely the best you'll ever feel because he will never let you feel like your disease defines who you are.

You will be loved, though. Cared for and cherished with or without your illness. He of all cookies understands that your disabilities and limitations do not define you as a person, they are simply a part of you that he comes to accept and cherish.

[genderqueerdykes]

I have a question and I hope it is phrased right. Is it wrong for me as a fat person to sometimes wish I could just go out using a wheelchair? My feet get sore a lot faster than I wish as well as other joint, nerve and musculoskeletal pain I'm not entirely sure is related to fatness. Technically I'm completely capable of still walking with no barrier besides pain so I feel weird desiring a wheelchair for comfort

i honestly don't see this as being too much of an issue. i believe my highest weight was 360 lbs at one point and it was extremely hard to walk or move. the thing about this is that you can become disabled due to complications with weight and that's not a bad thing at all. focusing on someone's weight when they're dealing with pain isn't productive. we need to make sure you're not hurting all the time first and then your weight can be addressed if it is genuinely causing you issues. it's hard to know right away- in my eyes, it's more important to treat the pain and the issues first.

either way it sounds like you need help with a mobility aid. whether or not it's due to your weight, you sound like you're miserable. even if it's due to fatness it deserves to be taken seriously and treated accordingly. i don't think it's okay to tell someone who's fat that they can't get a mobility aid because their pain may be due to fatness. why do that matter? it's pain, we need to treat it. we need to make sure you're not putting yourself in pain and harming yourself

you may find that if you get some type of mobility aid you'll get some stamina back and lose any weight that may be affecting you negatively. a mobility aid may help you move around more. if not, it's okay that you tried that. either way i totally think it's okay if you want to try a mobility aid. you want to get out there in ways that are accessible to you. i don't think there's anything wrong with that

if you have anything diagnosed that could point toward you having issues walking around on foot for long periods you may be able to get something covered by insurance. either way i support you. let us know if you have any additional questions, best of luck to you

[blueookashi]

This game uh... Definitely has some balance issues now even on easy. woof.

LETSGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I get a particularly nasty message, I always check to see if they're following me first. Nine times out of ten, they're not. But they're also, unfortunately, the same people who feel entitled to send me multiple messages in a row, most of them heavily steeped in the language of moralization and purity.

Like whenever I talk about painkillers or pain management, I always get a handful of well-meaning people who are maybe new to my blog or are just young, asking me if I've tried diet/exercise/meditation, etc.

Sometimes I'll respond to them. Other times I'll just ignore them because I get those kinds of messages so often it's like white noise, and maybe part of me hopes if they stick around on my blog, they'll learn it through exposure via my incessant bitching.

When you see me responding to someone offering that kind of advice, it's either because I'm at my fucking limit or because I'm hoping it's a teachable moment and an otherwise seemingly nice person might unlearn some harmful biases.

The people who don't follow me are not interested in any kind of conversation on the subject. They do, however, feel the most qualified to tell me, someone they didn't know existed until one of my posts crossed their dash, how to manage my life, everything I'm doing wrong, and why I'm a bad person.

And for them, my disability is proof that I am a bad person because they view health as a moral issue.

If you're sick, it's because you don't exercise enough, don't eat the right foods, don't pray enough, don't do enough. They genuinely believe that if they say and do all the right things, like a Good Person, they'll never get sick.

It's their security blanket against the harsh reality that anyone is one bad day away from disability. One faulty gene, one bad infection, one bad accident away from a life-long diagnosis. And if they do get sick, it's a test. A challenge to be overcome with Willpower as they learn the True Meaning of Life.

It can never just be a simple fact of life that sickness happens. That disability exists without a moral reason.

And it's suffocating.

Day in, day out. Folks who don't know me from fucking Eve telling me I'm being punished. Not always as outright as that. They don't always use that word. But sometimes I appreciate it when they do because at least then they're being honest. They're not couching it in the softer language of leftist circles. Not hiding it behind concern.

Because the truth is, there are just as many folks who think they're liberal and enlightened who'd be happy if disabled people just stopped existing. They don't like thinking about us because it makes them think about themselves. About their own fragility and mortality, and they hate that. They hate that there's something they can't control with their thoughts and actions. That they can't moralize their way out of.

Honestly, it's a relief when people are just cunts about it because I can hit the block button, safe in the knowledge that they were never the kind of person who would see me as a person. But when it's some 20yo kid with their pronouns, orientation, and "ACAB" in their profile spouting the same kind of moralization, sometimes even with the language of eugenics, it feels like such a betrayal. Like a loss.

And perhaps if I wasn't multiply disabled, I'd have the energy to pull them back. To tell them why they're wrong and hope like hell they realize what they're doing is harmful. But then, if I wasn't disabled, they wouldn't be messaging me, so I wouldn't be dealing with it.

I wouldn't be expected to use my existence as a teachable moment to spoon-feed them compassion. But I am, and I do. When I can. Not always with the grace that's warranted. Not always with the thought and compassion I ought to. (And I don't; I acknowledge that. I'm prone to anger and off-the-cuff remarks that are hurtful too. Though I try to keep most of it to myself or save it for therapy.)

Basically, if you've made it this far through the TED talk, don't be fucking cunts to disabled people. Don't tell chronically ill people to try yoga. Don't moralize pain relief. Suffering is not noble.

You need to kill the cop and the priest in your head telling you otherwise.

And also if you're the nice people sending me nice messages. Thank you. It helps cushion all of *gestures* this.

[lightningshrikes]

I'm going back to my roots of posting about headcanons. This comic shit too serious, IM OUT!

So, anyways, here's a list of a few disability ones :

- Jason has chronic pain and nerve damage that affects how he feels temperature/texture. He uses mobility aids a lot. I think he has bad tremors in his hands sometimes.

- Dick has hEDS and chronic pain (I'm sensing a pattern...?) He uses a lot of braces, but hasn't figured out that mobility aids are supposed to be used by him to prevent pain. He'll get there eventually. Maybe after the eleventh hip dislocation from just standing around at home he'll realize it applies to him too.

- Stephanie has had a few injuries that never healed right. She has severe pain flare ups sometimes, and struggles to let herself rest and not push herself until she literally can't do anything but lie in pain. She also has bad migraines fairly often after patrols.

- Damian has bad chronic back pain. He has a good bit of physical therapy exercises he's supposed to do but slacks on them sometimes because he just genuinely forgets because he's taking care of something else.

- Cass has a lot of chronic pain from past injuries that she's just now realizing exists. I think she had an experience that helped a bit of the pain subside and that's how she realized she could feel better. She's still trying to figure out what will help her.

That's all for now, tune in next time for more!

[flowersandmiel]

I've finally met Hunted during his main chapter The Beast (I'd only met him during The Eye of the Needle and the chapters where they're all here) AND OMG I LOVE HIM SM??

Not judging or anything (/gen), but I'd only seen him be characterized in fics with this sort of "overwhelmed and animalistic anxiety" in fics, instead of what I would describe as a "hypervigilant and quick-thinking survival-driven fear" during the Eye of the Needle. And it just kinda confused me bc like, how could he act so different in Eye of needle compared to the Beast and Den?? But that's the thing, he doesn't, the fic just weren't accurate /nm (i still loved those fics btw /gen)

it just reminds me of this post about Paranoid i reposted not long ago about how fandom tends to stick to one character trait of a character and overly exaggerate it to the point it's almost mischaracterizing said character.

and it also reminds me of another character from another fandom who's a bird-like creature too, and they both get mischaracterized in that similar sort of dehumanizing way?

I'm not sure how to explain but i'll try

Basically, It's just so obvious that the author loves the fact that the character is bird-like, that they do not realise that they're kinda 'feti$hising' them??

And like, i've got nothing about letting a half-human half-animal character lean into their animal instincts, but I find it strange how many people do not realise the way they write it is just not believable at all. You can have a character lean into their bird side without having them be dehumanized and infantilized by the narrative. They're not an animal, they're part animal.

Idk, maybe it's because I grew up being dehumanised and infantilised, but if I was part animal/part human, and that i needed to let myself lean into my instincts, I wouldn't take well being treated by my friends as if I'm only an animal???? Or called 'birdie' or shit like that??? Like, i know i don't like pet names in general, but i can't be the only one who find calling a half bird half human character 'birdie' kinda weird?? I'm sure most mean it in a very sweet way btw, but i always think that if i was a half cat half human, and i was called 'catgirl' or 'kitty', i wouldn't take it well lmao?? even as teasing???

Kinda reminds me of how dehumanized and infantilized disabled people are. Having "animalistic behaviors" does not make one less human. idk how else to say it.

I'm not sure I'm making any sense, i've seen nobody talk about this and it makes me feel kinda lonely ngl x,)

I just needed to ramble a bit about it, it's not an "issue" only related to STP btw, which is why im talking about it actually xP it's weird how many fandoms i've seen this phenomenon in. I know many people only create art for fun and simply do not care about believability, and they have every right to do so, but sometimes i think that some people just genuinely do not think about it because nobody talks about it!! I'm only sharing this in hope that I can make authors self-reflect a bit so they can write "better" :)

Just, remember please. You're writing characters with consciousness. They're not animals, they're not birds, they're not just their instincts, they're not just their wings. Even while being chased, Hunted isn't nothing more than his instincts, he's clever, a quick-thinker, observant, worried, has good reflexes, takes risks, his voice is soft, maybe he'd even be delicate if he wasn't being chased! and many others! He's more than his name, than his title, than his instincts. He's not just a prey, he's a Voice, created to help us survive and out of fear of the Princess.

(btw im not using examples i've seen in fics bc i think it'd be rude af to do that.)(i've still mostly enjoyed the fics i've read that had this problems btw <3, i just couldn't get it out of my head and i hate that i see nobody speaking about it so, here i am ig!)

[weemietime]

There isn't a whole lot of content on Tumblr about schizoid personality disorder so I thought I would make a little informational post. SZPD is a cluster A personality disorder, of the odd/eccentric cluster alongside schizotypal and paranoid. It is on the schizophrenia spectrum, and comprises the negative rather than positive symptoms of schizophrenia.

This primarily means we have avolition, catatonia, flat/blunted affect (demeanor), limited interoception (emotional sensations), lack of bonds to others including primary family members, and indifference to the opinions of others.

Whilst this isn't a diagnostic criteria, many of us are also asexual and aromantic, meaning we don't want to have sex with other humans (but usually do masturbate) and have no interest in romantic companionship.

My most disabling symptom is avolition, because I have comorbid ADHD. This means when I don't have my medication (dextromethorphan 120mg) I just sit there and zone out and can't even hold a conversation or move my body, nor even do things like feed myself. It is genuinely crippling and I am unemployed because of this, even though my meds help, they don't cure me and I need a lot of time alone.

Schizoid is something of an "anti-human" disorder, because we fail to form basic social bonds with others including primary caregivers. As a child I got diagnosed with inhibited RAD because I could not tolerate human contact. This differs from autism because autistic people generally want to socialize, they just lack the skills. I don't want to socialize and it takes tremendous effort for me to do so.

To even make this post I had to wait for my meds to click in as I was just sitting there mindlessly beforehand. While we have low internal sensations of emotions like caring, love, happiness, trust, sadness, etc. we aren't typically antisocial/dissocial and don't have a pattern of exploiting others or dishonesty. This requires too much effort.

There is a schizoid version of narcissism but it is separate to narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is characterized by a very fragile ego. You can't contradict or disagree with NPD because they are unable to regulate the emotions caused by conflict. Conversely, SZPD does not care about the opinions of others at all and places little value on them.

Our sense of superiority is legitimate, meaning we just do genuinely believe we are smarter than other people. So your mileage may vary on how insufferable you find that. I recognize this trait in myself and work to actively challenge it since it is illogical for me to think I am more special than anyone else. But, my ego is very stable, so criticism doesn't bother me the way it would in NPD.

Interoception means the sensations you feel inside your body. We lack this, so even stuff like hunger and tiredness don't impact us until we are very hungry or extremely exhausted. I don't have the feeling you would to look at a family member and get a sense of love or trust. I have a logical sense of obligation that I developed through choosing what I value based on reason. I describe this as care, and I place importance on my friendships, but there is no emotional component to this, it is all cognitive.

Tangentially: I'm somewhat of an optimistic nihilist, believing that there is no grand purpose to existence. Yes, even as a religious person. I don't think G-d ultimately has a purpose either, as an agent of the universe. (I don't believe G-d created the universe.) We have a human nervous system, so we base our rubric for morality on suffering and decide what is meaningful both collectively and individually.

I don't believe in true freedom of will (but I do believe we have agency), because we know that Bereitschaftspotential or reaction potentials occur in the brain up to two seconds before we become conscious of a volitional desire. Our consciousness occurs because of quantum synchronicity in the brain, so our free will is in a bit of an in-between state rather than fully determined or fully free.

So, we are not born deciding "I'm going to be an abuser," that happens because of brain abnormalities. It's no different than the forces of creation and destruction at work like a virus infecting a host cell. I don't place much importance on concepts of self-hood, I view myself as the electrical and chemical processes that occur in my brain, which happen without my choosing, that I can influence and impact through my own agency.

Anyway, these are just some basic schizoid meanderings for you all and I hope that this was informative or interesting in some way. Peace.