#i can't believe how long it was lol

[killerchickadee]

Imma properly cut it tomorrow but I wanted to hack most of it off tonight so I'd stop fucking debating with myself about it.

Hair go byeeeee.

Also idk why selfie mode on my camera looks like it's taking pictures in 2012 whatever.

[sysig]

“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)

Bonus:

Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c

[fuckmewithyourtoespj]

jamie tartt in ted lasso 3x03, “4-5-1″

[inexplicably-spookified]

Lea… do you remember what a clear sky looks like at night?

Out in the countryside, no town or city nearby?

I hope one day you will…

[14dayswithyou]

This is probably very far-fetched and a result of me overthinking it but i have a theory that Leon is secretly a yandere. So here's my little investigation :3

Piece of evidence number 1: I vaguely remember you saying something like "who said Ren is the only yandere in the game?" Or something along those lines, in an older post.

Piece of evidence number 2: In a post from june with some Leon crumbs you said: "When he was younger, Leon almost got into a fight because the weird kid in the grade below him tried to give you a ring on the playground. But Leon shut the whole ordeal down really quick because you promised to marry him first. Did you forget?" And that's just giving me yandere vibes

(Moving onto crackpot theories cause this is just me over analyzing jokes you made)

Piece of evidence number 3: You mentioned Leon, Theo and Jae would wear matching among us costumes for halloween, and Leon would be the imposter. Which made me think he might actually be an imposter lol

Piece of evidence number 4: This post was all non-canon and a joke but i'm still going to mention it. That one ask about Ren messing around with Angel's bedsheets, your response was "Who's gonna tell em about what Leon does in the bathroom during your sleepovers?? ^^"

Okay that's all i have ! Hope you have a good day !!

✦゜ANSWERED: I'm gonna need you to be a bit more quiet.................

[fairyroses]

"If we were at the fair, I would've won you a stuffed giraffe."

Some very self-indulgent art inspired by this gifset, from a happier timeline. 💖

[canadianlucifer]

Drink up

[blujaydoodles]

you wanna talk about stress YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT STRESS? I've stumbled onto a MAJOR conspiracy how bout THAT for STRESS

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Let us pray for [y]our salvation.

and here's two views of the window w/o geki b/c i spent way too long on it lmao:

[shima-draws]

My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip

Me: Oh?

My doctor: It's an issue with your spine

Me: OH

[mayor-david-prentiss]

thinking thots abt abemiha and how there's too little emphasis (in fics) on how possessive abe is and how easily he'll sometimes take mihashi's 'it can only be you' bc he's a little control freak who craves being depended on... and how this will probably never be challenged bc they will never get a catcher as good as abe lol he gets jealous of tajima for understanding mihashi better/more easily but he's never gonna compete with tajima for the regular catcher spot, both bc he's a better strategist and bc tajima wants to bat more than anything... hope one of the first years will finally be able to challenge him, even though they all seem rly out of it rn

[wawamouse]

Me? Well, I've... I've mostly been a loner.

[sysig]

Well aren’t you so popular (Patreon)

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

“Well,” says the woman at the foot of the bridge, sheepishly swiping a windblown lock of dark hair out of her mouth and tucking her hands into her sleeves, “I was told you have a library.”

Faralda’s expression does not change. “Many educational institutions do, yes.”

“Some of the collection dating back to the Second Era?” A nervous, crooked little smile. “Middle Third is the earliest I’ve handled. But—er—your archivist said—”

“You’ve spoken with Urag?”

“Yes!” She goes to dig through the bag over her shoulder, a flash of some delicate floral design sewn carefully into the inner lining. It matches the pattern twined around the ends of her sleeves. “Or, well, written. Letters.” The stranger offers a neatly folded sheet of familiar letterhead.

Faralda takes it. No doubt on closer inspection: it’s Urag’s distinctive, sparse handwriting. Halfway down the page—gentler on finer leather detailing. If you’re ever in the area (ha!) stop by and take a look, but the effect should be the same on a darker dye.

Then, on a fresh line: Tell Laghra the new frames are nice.

She folds it back. The woman gives her a wider smile, hopefully swaying back onto her heels and then forward onto her toes again, unbalanced. “I brought my own glue. Just in case, I mean. Not water-based, so I didn’t think I’d have as much trouble maintaining efficacy, but the first time it got dark coming up this way I did lose one of the littlest jars—is it always so cold at night or just this time of year?”

“Always, I’m afraid.” Glue. Not quite what she had been expecting to hear. “And what is it you do, exactly?”

“Oh, you know, this and that,” she takes half a dizzy step to the side (more stagger than step, really); “tried a matchmaking service for chickens, but that’s not much of a living. Hard to, uh, make hens meet.”

Something twitches across Faralda’s face and evulses an ungraceful sound out her nose before she can stop it. She flattens her mouth into a straight line.

The wind, suddenly, seems very loud.

“…no, you’re right,” the woman scratches awkwardly at her cheek with a pained grimace, “that one wasn’t ready yet I think. I’m—I do book repair and conservation. Down at sea level, mostly; do you mind if we sit somewhere?”

---

“I think Urag’s new assistant had more glue with her than she did food,” Mirabelle says, holding up a form and squinting at the looping penmanship.

“Perhaps it’s edible in a pinch.”

Amusement tugs at the corners of her mouth as she flips to the next page, eyes flicking up to meet hers for just a moment. An ink stain on the knuckle of her ring finger, half-faded, matches one on her other thumb, as though she’s been idly rubbing at it. “…her closest emergency contact is on the other side of the Druadachs. Remind me to check rush rates for couriers that way, would you?”

As though she’ll forget to do so herself. Unlikely. “Do you really keep track of those?” Faralda raises a brow from the other side of the desk, hands clasped behind her back.

“Of course. Yours is not especially nearby, either, you know,” she shuffles the forms and then taps the edge of the stack on the desk to straighten them, “but I have been meaning to have you update your file—”

“There’s nothing to update.”

“Hmm.” A lesser woman might be swayed into unnecessary protest by the well-practiced look of patient skepticism Mirabelle gives her. The stray dark lash on her cheek undercuts the overall effect, just a bit.

She holds her gaze, unswayed.

“You’ll still have to sign it again.” Mirabelle stands, going to add the new file to the drawer. “You spoke on the way in, yes? What did you make of her?”

“An interesting background.”

“Oh?” She turns expectantly.

Faralda, straight-faced, says, “You should ask about her chickens.”

[seraphtrevs]

So what did Mike mean when he whispered “do it” when Nacho freed himself in 6x03? It’s really hard to say. We don’t get much more of Mike’s POV after Nacho’s story concludes. He and Gus never speak about Nacho’s fate on camera, and I’d argue they probably never spoke about it off camera either. (I mean, what was there to say, really? They did a horrible thing that I’m sure both of them wanted to forget.) That means we don’t have a lot of canon clues about what he might have meant when he said "do it."

Given that it’s so ambiguous, I don’t think that anyone can actually “prove” one way or the other what Mike was thinking, but I’ve finally come up with an answer that makes sense to me, and it revolves around Mike’s complicated and nuanced relationship with Gus.

I remember a lot of speculation while BCS season 5 was airing about when we’d finally get the background for Mike and Gus’s relationship in BrBa – one marked by mutual respect, admiration, and loyalty. But…is that actually the relationship we were shown in BrBa? I used to think so, by I’m not so sure anymore. Instead, I think that Mike’s relationship with Gus has always been marked by a deep ambivalence, even before BCS was written.

Before I dive in, I want to be clear I’m NOT saying that there are no positive feelings between the two of them. From the beginning, Gus has respect for Mike’s skills. In return, Mike respects Gus’s professionalism. He admires Gus for not being capricious, pigheaded, and egotistical the way most cartel bosses are. What really won him over was when he learned Gus’s motivation was justice for his loved one, not just the pursuit of money and power (although Gus was still definitely interested in money and power – after all, he pursued a career in drug dealing before Max’s death, which is what got Max killed in the first place). He likes that Gus doesn’t micromanage him, allowing him the freedom to do his job his way. But most of all, he likes the obscene amount of money Gus pays him.

Because when push comes to shove, Mike is in the drug business to make money for Kaylee. I don’t think he feels any personal loyalty to Gus outside of their working relationship. In fact, he feels extremely conflicted about working for Gus.

When Gus slits Victor’s throat in BrBa 4x01, Mike reacts by pulling a gun on Gus. It’s clearly a reflexive response to the sudden violence, and you could argue that it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about his feelings towards Gus. You could even argue that in that split second, he got confused and thought Victor was attacking Gus, and he was actually pulling the gun on Victor. But I think the easier explanation is that he was as scared as everyone else in that room about what Gus might do, and he pulled that gun on Gus to defend himself.

When Walt comes to him in 4x02 with his plan to kill Gus, Mike responds by beating him up. One explanation is that he is outraged by Walt’s suggestion to kill the man he has pledged his loyalty to and has devoted his life to protecting. But another explanation is that Walt was giving voice to the same thoughts he himself was struggling with. We don’t really know much about Mike and Victor’s relationship, but at the very least Mike seemed to think of him as a loyal and competent goon. After all, Victor is the literal guy in the “you are not the guy” speech—a guy Mike valued and is angry about losing. The expression on his face when Gus kills Victor is one of shock and dismay.

Victor is the third person (that we know of) who Gus deemed disposable, not because they betrayed him in any way, but because Gus cares more about tying up loose ends than the lives of the people who work for him. Werner, Nacho, and Victor all did as Gus asked them to. Werner and Victor made mistakes that were not malicious towards Gus in intent—Werner went AWOL for a vacation with his wife, and Victor made the mistake of being seen when he was trying his best to be a good and loyal servant to Gus. Once Gus started to blackmail Nacho, Nacho never once tried to weasel his way out of it, other than begging Mike to intervene on his behalf. Which Mike does, and his pleas for Nacho’s life fall on deaf ears.

So what must Mike be thinking when Walt confronts him in the bar? Is he really feeling an abundance of loyalty to Gus in that moment? Or did Walt’s idea hit a little to close to something he himself had considered—a thought he knows is stupid and reckless because no one goes up against Gus and survives. He beats Walt to teach him a lesson that it’s a stupid, dangerous idea—and maybe to remind himself of that fact, too.

Flash forward to Gus’s death—Mike tears back into New Mexico in a rage and threatens to kill Walt. Jesse talks him down, and then Mike agrees that they need to work together to eliminate the evidence that ties them all to Gus’s criminal empire. But once that evidence is erased, Mike could have chosen to never have anything to do with Walt again. Instead, he goes back to Walt when he learns that all of the money he had set aside for Kaylee is being held up indefinitely by the cops, and that he has nothing to pay the men who worked under him for their continued loyalty and silence—because Mike actually does care about “his guys” and feels honor-bound to take care of them.

If Mike’s reaction to Gus’s death was based mostly in grief, does it really make sense that he would willingly work with Gus’s killer? And right before Walt kills him, Mike rails against him about how they had “a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch—we had Fring, we had a lab, we had everything we needed, and it ran like clockwork.” He says, “If you’d done your job and known your place, we’d all be fine right now.” What he doesn’t say is “you killed a good man” or “you killed my friend.” He is angry about the money they lost when Gus’s empire fell apart after his death. Maybe he focuses on business in the moment because he’s a reserved guy and doesn’t want to divulge his true feelings to the likes of Walt. But at the same time—I think it’s telling that in a moment of losing his temper, the grief he expresses is for the lost money, not Walt’s murder of Gus.

So, keeping this in mind, let’s go to BCS 6x03. After Mike pleads with Gus to spare Nacho’s life, Gus decides instead to have him killed. I can’t say for sure, but I’m almost positive that from the beginning, Gus planned on having Nacho killed as soon as he outlived his usefulness. But it was news to Mike. He really thought that Gus would spare Nacho, because after the assassination attempt, he offers to pick Nacho up. But Gus says no. He’s always viewed Nacho as trash, and it’s time to throw the trash away. Nacho did everything Gus asked of him, but he was doomed from the start.

And why does Gus hate Nacho so much? Did Nacho betray him or attack him in some way? No. He hates Nacho because Nacho tried to kill a man Gus wanted to kill himself.

Mike goes along with it, because Gus is his boss. He frames Nacho, knowing that this will lead to Nacho’s death. Nacho is being punished for keeping up his end of the bargain. This doesn’t sit well with Mike at all. Another thing weighing on Mike in this moment is Gus’s treatment of Nacho’s father, an innocent man. Gus was planning on having Nacho’s dad hurt or killed in order to gain Nacho’s compliance. This is a step too far for Mike, who goes against Gus for once and pledges to protect Manuel from him. It’s only Nacho’s phone call that stops the standoff—what would have happened if Nacho hadn’t offered himself? Would Gus have killed Mike to get to Nacho’s dad? Would Mike have killed Gus to defend him?

So Nacho agrees to die. Before his death, Gus orders Mike to beat Nacho bloody, a man young enough to be his son. Mike cares about Nacho and feels protective of him. This goes against everything that’s left of Mike’s moral code, but he goes through with it anyway, at least in part because it’s what Nacho wants. Nacho wants to die to protect his father from the mistakes that he’s made. It’s an honorable decision.

Mike doesn’t always behave honorably, but it’s clear that honor is something that preoccupies him. One of his biggest regrets about his son’s death is that he died dishonored. He took dirty money because his dad told him to, and he was killed anyway. Because of Mike’s advice, his son died dirty. But here’s Nacho, facing death with the kind of honor he taught his son, even if those lessons were hypocritical given Mike’s own history as a dirty cop.

Matty was executed by two criminal cops who cared more about covering their own asses than they did about the life of his son. Nacho is not Matty—he’s a criminal who made his own bed. But Nacho is also being executed as an ass-covering exercise. It’s dishonorable. It’s cruel. It’s cowardly.

So in that moment, Mike has his gun out to carry out his part in Nacho’s execution. I think that the only reason he can even stomach it is that this was Nacho’s plan as much as it was Gus’s. He could tell himself he was doing the best thing he could by offering Nacho a clean death, just like he told himself he did what he could for Werner by offering him the same thing. But that has to feel like a weak justification. He works for Gus, a criminal, to enrich himself. Sure, it’s to provide for Kaylee, but he’s still killing people for money, and he hates himself for it.

But then Nacho decides to fight back—something that Matty never got to do. When Nacho puts a gun to Bolsa’s head, Mike whispers, “do it.” It seems to me like he wants Nacho to pull the trigger and kill Bolsa. But why? Mike doesn’t have any vendetta against Bolsa, so that’s not the reason. And even if Nacho kills Bolsa, it isn’t going to save him. Victor or Tyrus or the twins would immediately start shooting, which means that Nacho would most likely be killed anyway. And even if Nacho somehow miraculously escaped, Gus would still want him dead. Since Mike works for Gus, Mike would likely be in charge of hunting Nacho down and killing him. So it doesn’t really make sense for Mike to be rooting for Nacho to kill Bolsa…

…unless Mike was looking for an excuse to get out of this business that is killing the last shred of decency he has inside him. Mike is working for Gus because he wants money to provide for Kaylee…but maybe he’s also working for Gus because he doesn’t see a way out. Maybe if Nacho decided to fight back, Mike would have changed his mind about where his loyalties lie and choose to protect Nacho by killing Gus and the Salamancas instead.

Or maybe not. But it kind of makes you think.

[meadow-roses]

Meet the Family - part 1

Grace invites Felix out on a date to hopefully pop the question- "would you like to join my team of secret agents?" but she's still not certain he actually has what it takes. Felix, secretly a retired secret agent, is extremely confused when Grace (accidentally) starts speaking in code. Neither of them have any idea what "frogs" stand for in this conversation.

This scene is around three years old, and was written as a character study for Grace back when I first realized she was involved in backstory plot! It's crazy to remember a time when the story didn't include Grace and her pals haha

This is not a scene in the actual story and a lot of the "plot" is not canon, but I thought it would be fun to share with you guys! Enjoy!

Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4

***

Grace considered herself good at reading people. It was a skill that had come in handy more than once in the past, and now she found it more necessary than ever.

In most cases, getting to know someone is something that happens gradually over time. You learn their name and their favorite color, you know them for a month and find out they don't like spicy food. A year and you'll learn their routine for getting going in the morning, that they had an obsession with model trains when they were twelve-years old, or the story behind the odd knick knack in their bedroom. In a general sense Grace was fully content to get to know Felix in this natural way, but the more she learned the more she got the sickening feeling things weren't adding up quite right.

The traffic on the street outside cut patterns of blue and red in the sunlight thrown over the faded linoleum of the diner floor. They had chosen a table tucked into the corner, away from the service desk and where groups of people stood around the doors laughing and hugging goodbye. Grace had observed Felix often seemed anxious close to a lot of activity, and while she didn't understand it, she liked it when he was comfortable enough to converse without distraction. 

She fiddled with the straw in her water glass as she watched him carefully study the menu.

A rise in volume of laughter from several tables over broke his concentration and he looked up, catching Grace's stare.

"Do you know what you're going to get?" He asked, a finger left to hold his place on the menu.

Grace realized she had forgotten to even look. 

She shrugged. "Mmm I don't know, the second one."

Felix raised one eyebrow and looked back at the menu.

"The second one? I thought you didn't like peanuts." 

Grace laughed. Of course her random selection would end up something like that. 

"I haven't read the menu, I just picked something," She said between giggles. 

"Oh, okay," Felix replied with a chuckle. 

Grace sat up in her seat and leaned across the table, resting her chin in one hand.

"What do you think I should have?"

Felix's eye dropped back to the menu again as he traced his finger over the options. 

"This one is cheddar and steak," he said after a moment. 

"Sounds perfect! What are you getting?" 

She slid back into her seat, the red leather squealing in protest. They must have reupholstered the seats recently. 

"I hadn't decided yet," he replied, sounding slightly embarrassed. 

"No rush, take your time."

Grace watched as he stuck his thumbnail between his front teeth, a strange habit she'd noticed he did when thinking under pressure. This was a perfect way to buy her more time to figure out what to say, even though she had been thinking about this moment for the last few weeks. 

She picked up her own menu from the tabletop, gave the dessert menu a quick glance, then began balancing it to stand between the salt and pepper shakers. 

How do you ask someone if they have a secret identity?

Asking him to meet her for lunch was one thing, asking him to join her on a secret mission? That sort of thing took trust, and she was still unsure she knew enough of his story to trust him.

Although, she doubted anyone with a truly reprehensible past would be able to put on an act as consistently bizarre and endearing as the man sitting across from her seemed to be. Most people hiding a secret identity would go for a more… normal persona.

But trust was a funny thing. Once you've given it there's no way to take it back, not ever fully. She had an oath to uphold, and she couldn't let her feelings for him endanger that. 

"I think I'll just get the same as you," Felix said, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

Grace hummed in approval as he picked up his own menu and stood it up to match Grace's among the condiments. 

"So uh," Felix said, turning the pepper shaker so it fit better into the fold of the menu. "Is everything okay? You seem really quiet today."

"Oh, yeah?" Grace laughed, trying to not sound nervous. 

Felix's eyebrows knit in concern. "Yeah." He paused a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Actually yeah, I just, didn't know how to start." Grace put her fingertip onto her straw and wiggled it back and forth in the glass. 

Felix reached out a hand and placed it gently on her arm. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah! It's nothing bad, don't worry," she hurried to assure him. 

The concern on his face relaxed and he nodded, folding his hands on the table in front of him. 

"I'm leaving on a- research trip, in a couple weeks," she said carefully, avoiding looking him in the face. She found it was becoming increasingly difficult to lie to him when he looked at her with such earnest care, so she settled for a half-truth instead. "I just wanted to let you know."

Felix nodded slowly. "How long will you be gone?" He asked.

"I really don't know," Grace fiddled with her fingers. "It could be weeks, or even a year."

Felix nodded again. He did that when he was trying to think of what words would say what he was thinking. Grace had been taught long ago that a lot of what a person says is not said in only words, that every person has their own unique way of speaking without speaking. Felix, she had found, spoke without words almost more than with. She was still trying to figure out exactly what he meant when his mouth tensed up at the edges when he smiled. Normally she would assume it was just a forced smile, but there was some layer of nuance she knew she was missing. 

"That's great!" He said with that tense kind of smile. "What kind of research are you doing?"

"Um," Grace said. Her mind drew up a blank instead of the pre-planned cover story. She blinked rapidly and said the first answer that came to mind other than the truth. "Frogs! The life cycle of frogs. We're researching frogs." 

She smiled and nodded her head several times, trying her best to pass it off as normal. She reached for her water glass and sucked up a gulp through the straw. 

Felix squinted and drew his head into his neck slightly, an action he did when something didn't make sense to him. 

Grace cringed inwardly. That was a, really, dumb cover story. I might have just botched everything.

"Frogs? That's… really cool," Felix said. He was still squinting, but the smile had returned. 

"Ye-yeah," Grace said, a little too quickly after swallowing her mouthful of water.

Felix watched the resulting coughing fit, alarmed, as Grace tried to get herself under control again. 

"You okay?" He said.

"Sorry," Grace nodded, clearing her throat. "I didn't quite swallow that right." 

Felix awkwardly scratched an itch on the side of his face. "Well, I, hope you have a good time," He said with a hint of confusion to the tone. 

"Thanks!" Grace said, still coughing a little.

Before she could continue, the waitress interrupted to take their order. After the polite exchange of information she walked back to the service desk, leaving the table quiet. 

Felix seemed entirely engrossed in his own thoughts as he squinted intently down at the tabletop.

This was the part where she was supposed to invite him to join her, but who in their right mind would agree to a year long research trip about frogs? She couldn’t tell him the truth, not until she knew he could be trusted with it, but with that kind of a cover story, she was going to have to find another way for the prep team to vet him. 

After a moment Felix spoke, breaking the silence. He sounded like he was choosing his words very carefully, but the words themselves didn’t seem to match the level of care he was using. 

“I didn’t realize you liked frogs that much. What about them do you find so interesting?” 

“Frogs?” Grace said, suddenly feeling like she was missing something very important. “I, uh, you know they are really, uh, important to the ecosystem, and an endangered species and all.”

Felix nodded slowly like he understood something deep. “Endangered, huh.”

“Do you like frogs?” Grace asked, wondering if she’d stumbled on another random interest of his.

“I do.” He replied through his hand placed thoughtfully under his chin. He looked far too serious to be making a joke. 

Maybe she hadn’t blown it after all.

“I don’t know if you would, like to join me on the research trip then?” 

Felix raised both his eyebrows and regarded her silently for a moment. Very slowly, his eye squinted, and he nodded. 

“Yes. I-” His gaze dropped to the tabletop. “I’d like to do that.”

Grace had an increasing feeling that Felix was having a completely different conversation than the one she thought it was. 

“Wait, you… actually want to go on a year long research trip about frogs?” She said, relieving the tension in her pose by leaning forward onto her elbows. “Who would want to study frogs for a year?”

“Don’t you?” Felix raised one eyebrow. 

“Oh yeah, of course,” Grace hurried to cover her mistake. “I was just surprised someone else would.” She laughed nervously and began stirring her water around with the straw. 

The table grew quiet again as the two watched how the ice flashed in many colors as it swirled around the glass. The waitress brought them their food and left the bill, Felix thanking her as she left them alone again.

“So,” He asked, sliding her plate towards her. “When do we leave?”