#i can’t stand him wanting the throne but brother in christ did he deserve a place in there

[thou-shall-fucketh-off]

Daemon just casually having his character development arc in the middle of a war.

[ourplaceinthecosmosphff]

Chapter 27. Ice and Band Aids

'You deserve to be fought for, remember that’ - The Better Man Project

I prayed that it looked innocent from afar, because from where I was standing it felt very dangerous. Harry to one side, hand to his locked jaw, looking away. To the other, Christopher, hands in his pockets, eyes going from me to the ginger, brows furrowed.

Both men looked hostile, shoulders squared back, an annoyed, aggressive look on their eyes.

The silence was tense.

“Christopher?”

“Bonjour.” He greeted, spinning his hat in his hands. His hair was longer, but other than that, he looked the same.

“Wha-what are you doing here?”

“I may not be royalty, but I’m not trailer trash, either, bunny. I know people.” He said.

It was definitely the old nickname that shook me out of my shock, and brought me straight back into reality: my ex-boyfriend, almost fiancé, standing next to me in a place swimming with the upper class and the world’s press, while the man I was in love with watched.

“That’s not what I meant.” I explained, rispid.

“So this is it, huh?” He asked, coldly, looking between me and Harry, his grin, hostile.

“This is what?” I asked.

“Him.” He replied, pointing his chin at Harry in a dismissive manner. “He’s the one?”

“Chris.” I sighed, already dreading where this was going.

“May I help you?” Harry asked, his tone dripping with disgust.

“Oh, you’ve helped me plenty.” Chris replied, his tone matching Harry’s. “Helped me dodge a fucking bullet.” He added, looking at me, sarcasm all over his manner.

“Christopher, I–” I stuttered, trying to think of something to say that would end this as fast as possible.

“No need to explain, bunny, I get it. Clear as day.”

“I think it’s time for you to go, man.” Harry interrupted, stepping closer, putting himself between me and my ex.

“Yeah, go on.” Christopher said, stepping closer to Harry himself until he was staring up at him. “Really easy to play the big man after you steal someone else’s girl, isn’t it?”

“Christopher!” I interrupted, outraged, but whispery, terrified people would notice how deeply darker the energy had gotten around us. “That is not what happened.”

“I’m sure you’re so used to getting your way your whole life,” Chris added, mocking, “nothing’s out of reach for the little prince, right?”

“You’re really embarrassing yourself here, dude. I’d take my losses and go if I were you.” Harry told him, voice steady.

“Oh, but you’re not. You people couldn’t take a day in the life of a normal person, not after being coddled your whole life. But here’s the thing, buddy,” Christopher said, somehow managing to take one more step closer to Harry, “you think you can do what you want because of that little silver spoon you were born with, but never forget you might have lucked out being born at the right family, but you were born in the wrong order, my guy. At the end of the day you're too down the line to matter.”

“Chris!”

“Any room you walk into, people don't see you, they just see granny, don't they? You got nothing else. You are nothing else.”

I braced myself, took in a deep breath, and stepped closer to them. “That’s enough.”

They both ignored me.

“And I think you know that, too, don’t you? That you’re nothing?” Christopher asked. “No wonder you had to go after Maggie, conveniently right after her brother died, of course–”

I sighed, staring around, feeling useless.

“I think it’s time for you to shut up.” Harry told him, louder now.

“–how else would you make yourself feel you have anything to offer? Not work, surely, little prince is too good for that, so let’s latch on to a royal who actually lucked out and got some power now.”

“Ma’am, maybe we should go?” Joyce asked, lowly, to my ear.

I looked back. Though our staff had stayed behind when we moved to the hallway, our security had followed, as it was their job to keep an eye on us at all times, even if by far. Harry’s security, for example, were watching from a few meters behind us. They didn’t seem to notice how badly things had progressed – as both Harry and Christopher were keeping their tone very low – but they were still standing in a way to shield us from view to other people.

“Get Harry’s security.” I asked Joyce.

“I will, but you should come with.” She replied. “Wait back inside with the others while we handle this–”

“Joyce, now.” I demanded, and she hurried away.

“I think we’re done here.” Harry added, looking past him, down the hallway, and already reaching out his hand for mine.

Christopher stepped up between us, blocking his way.

“Did you try to cozy up to Louis too, before he died? You were his type.” He looked at me, now grinning, leaning closer as if sharing a secret. I leaned back. “Pity the throne isn't made of dick, right? Lou would have loved it then, right, bunny?”

Harry shoved himself back between me and Christopher. “Okay, this is over.”

Chris shoved him back one step. “Oh, is it, little prince?” He asked, laughing, humorless. “If you say, we must obey, right? God forbid you encounter someone who doesn’t bow to your every wish!”

At this, Harry’s security finally showed up.

“Sir?”

He raised a hand, stopping them in place. They didn’t approach more. I wanted to punch someone.

“You really are a fucking dick, huh?” Harry asked him. The light of anger in his eyes was the only thing that betrayed his calm.

“Shouldn’t have stolen my girlfriend if you wanted me to kiss your ass, asshole.”

At this, he shoved Harry again, but this time Harry wasted no time in returning a punch directly to Christopher’s face.

“Oh, my God.” I gasped.

A lot of things happened at the same time: Joyce pulled me back. Harry’s security officer stepped in, but wasn’t quick enough to stop Christopher from returning a punch against Harry. Next thing I know, we’re all being held back, one or two meters apart from each other, each by a security officer.

“That’s assault! I’m going to fucking sue you so hard your fucking grandchildren will be paying up!” Chris spit out, clenching a hand to his left eye.

I looked at Harry, who’s cheekbone had a small scratch; he was flexing his hand from the punch.

I stepped towards Christopher, shaking off Joyce’s hand on my arm.

“Try.” I dared him. “There’s four witnesses here who saw you shove him twice and call him names multiple times. Harry was acting in self-defense. Any court will find you guilty of inciting violence, intimidation, maybe even assault of the third degree. I don’t know what you learned in Law School, Christopher, but I think you may even serve time for that.”

“Maybe you’ll go to jail, and then you’ll be someone’s bunny.” Harry said.

Christopher attempted to lunge at him again, but Harry’s officer held him in place, and he gave up quickly enough.

“Breaking up with you was my choice, Chris.” I told him, stronger now. “If you don’t think I am able of making my own choices without another man being involved, then that’s on me for taking so long to realize how little regard you have for me.”

He rolled his eyes, scoffed, and gave Harry another dirty look. Then he shoved off Harry’s security officer’s hold on him, and took off towards the elevators.

“Jesus Christ.”

I looked back at Harry, whose face was being held in place by one of his security officers. He gently shrugged the man’s hands off.

“I’m fine.” He said.

“Harry, I am so sorry.” I said, pushing past Joyce towards him. “This is–He is–I mean.” I sighed and groaned at the same time. “I am so sorry.”

His hand gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “This isn’t on you, Mary. At all.”

“Stil, what are we going to do? You have a scratch on your cheekbone, that’s going to swell and get red, it may look like you have a black eye.”

“Relax, I can handle it.”

“That’s not what I mean!”

“Sir, we should probably leave.” His security interrupted. “We can’t be sure who witnessed this, and the longer we stay the clearer your wound will be.”

“That’s what I mean!” I said.

“Okay, I get it.” Harry sighed. “For the record, he barely touched me. It’s not that bad.”

“Her Royal Highness is correct, it’ll get worse, especially the longer you don’t ice it.” His officer added. “If we wait, they’ll have you pictured arriving normally, and leaving with scratches.”

“Scratch, one scrath!” Harry corrected. “Fine. Get Edward and secure a way out.”

Joyce approached me again. “Ma’am, we should go back inside.”

“What? No, I–”

“It’s okay.” Harry said. “It’s okay, Mary. You should go ahead, you don’t want to be associated with this.”

My heart sank with guilt. “I should be. It’s my fault.”

“No, it isn’t–”

“How isn’t this my fault, Harry?! He’s my ex. This whole thing was about me!”

His secretary arrived right then, interrupting his rebuttal.

“We should leave right now.” He said. “While the race is on and fewer reporters will be expecting exits.”

Harry looked at me, longingly.

“Ma’am,” Joyce insisted, “we should join the others.”

I looked at Harry, whose eyes were still on me, feeling my heartbeat heavy in my throat.

His security officer came back.

“We’re ready to leave, sir.” He said. “We’ll take the stairs down.”

Harry continued to look at me in a desperately sad way. Finally, he sighed, a smile on his lips that didn’t reach his eyes.

“I guess I’ll see you around.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry, again.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. I get it.”

I wondered, briefly, if he thought I was apologizing for something else. Maybe the thing he had just said that was still echoing in my head.

“We should really get going.” His secretary insisted.

“Fine.” Harry said, rispid, before giving me another quick smile. He opened his mouth to say something, seemed to think better of it, and closed it again. “Take care.” He said, before being quickly escorted to the stairs by his team.

Joyce cleared her throat after they were all gone.

“We should go back, ma’am, before you’re missed.”

“Yes, thank you, Joyce. I get it.” I replied, instantly feeling guilty over my tone, but filing out quickly, without looking back.

I had a few certainties for the rest of the afternoon: one, my outfit was, apparently, a statement. I knew this because I overheard two women talking about me in the bathroom when they didn’t know I was in one of the stalls.

Two, Cadie and Auguste, and everyone else, knew nothing about what had occurred with Harry and Christopher. I even asked Joyce if my other security officer, Pierre, had seen anything, but apparently he’d been guarding the doors. And, as Joyce assured me of her silence, I didn’t have any explanations to give to anyone.

And three, I had to talk to him. There was simply no way I could go home without talking to Harry about, well, not about what had happened exactly, but definitely about what he had said. And I knew, even as I spent all the following hours thinking it over, I knew exactly why I shouldn’t talk to him. It was impossible not to know when I had been told over and over before.

And yet, there I was: outside Kensington Palace, barely a couple of hours after he had left Ascot, sitting in the car trying to decide if I should follow my heart, or if I could go back home and live with the regret.

My phone chimed once, letting me know I had a new message. It was from Cadie:

‘Guards have been informed and taken your ID. You can go in.’

I sighed. She and Auguste were in a separate car, and I had another with my two security officers. I had sent Cadie to the gate to inform them I was here and give them my passport.

‘BTW Auguste is really insisting we go home.’

I rolled my eyes to the dark and made my choice. I typed a reply for her:

‘Go home, I’ll be fast, but there’s no need for you to wait.’

I waited for her reply on the edge of my seat, wondering if whatever Auguste had to say would make me change my mind. But the reply never came. We just saw their car take off. Then Joyce and Pierre looked at me.

“Ma’am?” Joyce asked.

“Let’s go in.” I decided.

The guards let us in, and took a look at the car just to confirm we were who they had been told we were. We were then pointed in the direction of Harry’s Cottage.

When we parked in front of the cottage, I realized I wouldn’t need to knock. I felt stupid – of course security would tell him he had a visitor. So I stepped out of the car, and met him in the sidewalk. Each step closer gave me more dread.

The area around his left cheekbone was slightly swollen, and redder. The scratch was red enough that left me no doubts that it was bleeding, even if just a little.

“I’m fine.” He said as a greeting.

I shrugged. “I’m sure you are. I only came for a drink.”

He grinned, nodded, and ushered me inside.

Strangely, it felt like coming home. I walked into his house, his slightly messy house, with the jacket he’d worn today thrown over the couch, dishes still to wash in the sink, and fresh, unfolded laundry on a basket by the stairs, and I felt an immediate sense of relief. Like I could stop being proper and regal. As if now it was safe to step off of my heels and be myself.

It was a dangerous thing to feel at home with a man I wasn’t supposed to love.

“Make yourself at home.” He said, unknowingly rubbing salt to my every wound.

“Okay.” I replied, kicking off my shoes, and leaving them by the door with my handbag. “Why aren’t you icing that?”

He sighed. “It’s just a scratch, Mary.”

I quickly pulled off my hat, and the half-a-dozen bobby pins keeping it in place, and made my way to the kitchen, finding an ice tray in the fridge.

“Seriously, it’s not a big deal. I know it was scary and all, but–”

“Don’t tell me it wasn’t a big deal!” I said, knocking the tray to the sink after washing it. I looked back at him, softly as an apology of sorts for the loud tone. “It was awful. He dragged you into something that has nothing to do with you, put you in a terrible and dangerous position, not to mention being horribly rude and offensive!”

“I can handle it–” He started, but stopped himself when I groaned in response and turned back to the sink to get a handful of ice out of the tray.

“I don’t care that you can handle it. Of course you can! I can, too! That’s not the point!” I said. I found a clean kitchen towel to wrap the ice in.

Harry walked to me, and leaned against the kitchen sink.

“You’re right. It sucked.” He said. “But, can I ask you a qu–God, what–!” He complained when I touched the ice to his face.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“It hurts!”

“Just keep the ice to it.” I insisted, holding his hand in place. “Or else it’ll stay swollen longer.”

“You’re right. It sucked.” He said. “But, can I ask you a qu–God, what–!” He complained when I touched the ice to his face.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“It hurts!”

“Just keep the ice to it.” I insisted, taking his hand and holding it over the ice to keep it in place. “Or else it’ll stay swollen longer.”

I held my hand to his jaw, keeping his head in place, adjusting his hand holding the ice to the wound as he winced. I held my hand over his for a moment, then removed both to look at the scratch.

“We should clean it.” I said, my voice coming out softer than I had intended it. “To be safe.”

His eyes were on my lips, which they didn’t leave as he nodded, gulping.

I stepped back and grabbed his first aid kit from where I knew it was, under the sink. As I went through it, looking for gauze and, well, really just doing nothing to give myself time to breathe, he moved closer to me, leaning on his side against the counter by my side, facing me.

“I’m sorry.” I said, looking down at the box. “I’m just really angry right now and I… I don’t don’t know what to do with that, and I know it’s not your fault, of course, but it frustrates me to no end that you’re not.”

“Who says I’m not?!”

I looked at him, finally. He was closer than I had realized.

“You’re too calm to be angry.” I complained.

“I’m calm because you keep apologizing to me.” He said. “And if there’s one person here who I know did not ask for this, it’s you.”

“You didn’t, either–”

“No, I kind of did.” He said, scratching his brow with his free hand, avoiding my eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, even if you disregard the countless times I wished I could punch that guy in the face before today, I did punch him first.”

“After he said a thousand horrible things.” I countered.

“No, I think if I’m honest with myself, I’ve been kind of hoping for the chance to punch him for a long time.” He sighed. “So I wasn’t exactly eager to diffuse the situation today.”

I regarded him, silent, trying to understand what he’d just said.

“Why did–” I started, weakly; confused. “Why would you want to punch him? I mean, you know what? Nevermind.” I shrugged. “You should feel proud you saw him for who he was before I did.”

I wet a piece of gauze in the sink, and pulled him by the arm to the kitchen table, sitting him in a chair facing me.

“As sexy as it is when having you man-handle me like this,” he said, smiling charmingly, “I can tell you’re still mad.”

I touched his hand, removing it from the scratch, and dabbed the gauze over it to clean it. He winced.

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt.” I teased.

“Shut up.” He grinned. “But, please, continue. You were saying I was so smart for seeing him for who he was before anyone else.”

I smiled in spite of myself. “Maybe it’s less about you being so smart, and more about me just being dumb.”

“You’re not dumb.” He said, simply.

I sighed, tapping the scratch with a dry piece of gauze now. “Well, what would you call it?”

He seemed confused. I sighed, tired.

“I’ve known Christopher for most of my life. He was my first crush, my first kiss, my first boyfriend. Hell, my only boyfriend! I was going to marry that guy! You know how serious that kind of decision is for people like us! And I was, for like, the last two years of college up until last year, I thought I was going to marry him!”

The ice was dripping on the table now, so I grabbed his hand, placed it over the gauze, and took the ice to the sink, taking in a deep breath and exhaling it slowly on the way.

“I wasn’t just in love with him, I genuinely liked him. I thought of him as a good, cool person.” I looked back at him, “I don’t know that guy that we saw today, and I don’t believe people can change that dramatically that fast, which means he’s always been a dick, and I just didn’t see. I didn’t see it! So much so that I almost married him. How stupid is that?!”

I bit my lip, feeling my nails scratching my palms in frustration. I took in a deep breath again, and found a bandaid box in the first aid kit. I walked back over to Harry.

“And I didn’t even do anything while he went off on you like that.” I shook my head in disappointment. “I was such a coward.”

He reached out and held my hand in his. “You did nothing wrong.”

I smiled at him. “I thought we established saying that didn’t help.”

“I’ll keep saying it until it does.”

I sighed, still smiling, but still frustrated as Chris’ words swirled around my head. I removed Harry’s hand with the gauze from the scratch, taking a step closer to him so I could see it better from up close. I felt his eyes on me, and a warm puff of air as his breathing grew heavier. I avoided his eyes. It felt safer.

I grabbed the ice from him, a little more forcefully than necessary. Remembering just how absurdly offensive Chris had been, I let out a huff of anger. Harry blinked, patiently.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” I said, quickly. “It's not worth it.”

“You’re right. But you’re angry.” He insisted. Still, I was quiet. “Okay. Truth or dare?”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Not now, Harry.”

“Oh, we can refuse to play, can we?”

“…we never discussed that specific rule.”

“Okay, then pick.”

I sighed. “Truth?”

“Talk to me. What are you thinking about?”

I straightened up, allowing my bubbling anger to come to surface.

“Fine! I’m thinking about what would have happened if we hadn’t broken up. I’m thinking that that part of him would have come out eventually, and what would have set him off? Me? Our children? What would he have done? Who would he have hit if you weren’t there? And more importantly,” I heaved a heavy sigh, “how dare he accuse you of all those things?! He doesn’t know you! He doesn’t know us, or our story, and everything that happened between us! He said all of that bullshit based solely on me breaking up with him, and seeing us talking! Nothing else!”

The kitchen was silent as I breathed heavily, still holding the ice to his cheek.

“…I just need to say it.”

I looked down at him, who was staring off into the wall.

“I think I know what you’ll say, but I need to say it, anyway…” He gulped. “It’s not true. What he said. You know that, right?”

He looked up at me, tentatively. I let my hand fall from his face.

“Harry…” I started, weakly. “Of course. Of course, I know. He–Christop–Ugh!” I put–no, threw the ice down at the table, angrily. “How could I have been so blind?!”

I ran both hands through my hair in frustration, pulling it a little. I looked back at Harry, took a deep breath, and let my arms fall to my sides.

“Harry.” I started, softer, pleading, “He was projecting. He was probably trying to save face, because that’s what I accused him of doing when we broke up.”

His brows furrowed up at me. “Really?”

I sighed. “He… I don’t think he did it on purpose. I don’t think it was a big, evil plan, or anything like that… I don’t think he realizes that’s what he did. But he… He didn’t seem to care about me or our relationship until after Louis died. Like the sacrifices he would have had to make weren’t worth it unless I had a title that held actual power.”

His expression grew from confusion, to anger. “Are you literally fucking kidding me?!”

“…no. Again, I don’t think he knew that’s what he was doing… But he didn’t want to marry me until it meant he would have a bigger role within the royal family. And I said that when he proposed.”

“Wait, he proposed?!”

“Oh, man, we really need to catch up.” I joked. “In front of both our parents, and my sister.”

“I think I read something about that in the press, it seemed too ridiculous to be true.”

I smiled, humorless. “Believe me, the real thing was worse.”

“That fucking…” he mumbled. “Dick. That fucking dick.”

“Relax, it’s over.” I shrugged.

“Now I wish I had punched him harder.” He added.

I watched him for a few seconds, biting my lip, before it became too hard to stop myself from breaking into a smile.

“Well, at least you punched him.” I said, taking another step closer, standing between both his legs to ice his cheek again. “I just stood there, like an idiot.” I framed his jaw with my other hand, pulling his face slightly up so I could see the wound better.

Though my eyes were firmly in his cheek, I could feel his on me.

“I should have done more.” He complained, sounding strained. “I should have stopped him before he talked about your brother. That was way over the line.”

I bit my lip, gulping, wishing like hell I could tell him the truth about Louis’ sexuality, and about how confused I was, wondering if Chris knew something about it he had never told me.

But then, I realized. “Louis would have laughed in his face.” I told him, smiling myself. It made him smile, too.

“What do you think he would have said?” Harry asked. “If you told him about what Christopher did today.”

I considered this for a few seconds.

“He would have found the nearest bottle of booze and had us toast to the bullet I dodged.”

I was being sincere, but the minute Harry laughed, I did, too.

“And then would have spent the rest of his life asking for praise for being right about him.”

“Really?” He asked, serious. “I thought he liked him. Your whole family seems to.”

“Chris is just part of our context…” I shrugged. “But after the second time we broke up, Lou never defended him the same way the others did. He always said I deserved better.”

I took the ice from his cheek, and dried it with the clean part of the towel.

“I think it’s better.” I declared. “I think we should go with a band aid and maybe icing it a little more.”

I opened the band aid box, realizing it was all kids’ band aids. I looked at him, inquisitive.

“It’s my nephew’s.” He shrugged, blushing.

“Right.” I nodded, unconvinced, and slightly amused. I took out two, and offered it to him. “Trucks or superheroes?”

“Dealer’s choice.”

I carefully placed a spiderman band aid over his cheekbone, coming closer to make sure none of the glue was touching his scratch.

“A superhero for the hero who defended my honor today.” I teased, making him smile.

Making sure the band aid was secure in place, I caressed his cheek, and then continued to do so a little more than necessary. It was just… It was so easy to look at him like this, standing right over him, his legs around mine, his face in my hands, a perfectly innocent excuse for it all.

I allowed my thumb to travel from his cheekbone to his nose, and then down to the corner of his lips.

“I’d defend your honor anyday.” He added, whispery, his warm breath joining mine.

I didn’t remember being this close to him before, but he certainly felt close now.

“There’s something I’m wondering.” He said, still just as softly, just as carefully.

“Yes?”

“Before… you said…” He gulped, eyes going between mine and my lips, blinking rapidly. “You said he dragged me into something that had nothing to do with me.”

I nodded, slowly, hands still framind his jaw, thumb to his lower lip.

“He shouldn’t have accused you of anything.” I said. “You did nothing wrong. What happened between Christopher and I, it had nothing to do with you.”

He nodded only slightly. His eyes traveled to mine, too close now.

“So it had… nothing to do with me?” He asked. “At all?”

I bit my lower lip, closing my eyes in frustration.

“I…” I sighed. “We had a lot of problems. Problems I had been ignoring for a long time.”

When I looked back at him, he had a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips; it felt nice under my thumb. His skin was warm now, all traces of the icing gone.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He said.

Feeling way too weak for this, throwing all caution to the wind, I traced his lower lip with my thumb, my eyes following the line attentively.

“I forgot your question.” I whispered, watching as his smile grew, teasingly, into a grin.

I felt him lean forward, closer to me.

“Should I ask again?” He asked, the words falling from his lips as his nose touched mine, delicate.

With one short move, easier than it should have been, I touched my lips to his, softly. Two seconds, then gone. I pulled back, only slightly, opening my eyes to see his closed.

“Does this answer your question?”

He didn’t answer mine; one swift move and his hands pulled me by my waist to him, just as he stood up, crashing my lips into his in a fury. His arms wrapped around my waist, hands splattered on my back, up and down, as if getting to know each centimeter of me they could reach.

My hands slide down his jaw to the back of his beck, tugging at his hair, allowing my walls to come falling down as his body met every inch of mine as he kissed me strong and fast. His hands, wide and firm in my back, rubbed against my sides, but stopped at my hips, questioning.

I pulled back, leaving my forehead on his, a breathless smile on my lips.

Bringing my hands back down, I traced his lapel, finding the first button of his shirt. I undid it, and looked at him, before undoing the next one. And the next.

His lips stretched into a smile and he leaned down, tugging me closer, kissing me again, with renewed energy. His hands slid down my hips, finding my buttcheeks, and with one firm move he lifted me towards him, to sit on top of the table. I wrapped my legs around him.

“By the way,” I added, as his lips found their way to my neck, “I’m falling in love with you, too.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: Y’all. I know I’ve dropped the ball here. I totally stopped with the previews and have been posting very late on mondays (technically tuesdays I guess), thank you SO MUCH for your patience! Being an adult sucks balls. BUT AT LEAST WE ARE FINALLY HERE! WHAT DO YOU THINK????? PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Also, what do you like? you know, seggs scene wise, full details or fade-to-black? I’m flexible. I love reading them (and writing them) but always feel super self-conscious writing them, so let me know? And thank you for reading, as always! Two last things:

1. Last week I forgot to ask, what do you think of Harry’s poem?? 2. Has anyone noticed anything familiar about Adrien’s storyline in NY, dating a celebrity out of nowhere? Just wondering.

DROP ME A MESSAGE THANKS FOR READING AND FOR BEING YOU AND FOR BEING HERE HAVE A GREAT WEEK!]

[hysterialevi]

Eitr | Chapter 12

Fanfic summary: In an alternate universe where the Raven Clan is wiped out, Sigurd ends up being rescued by the son of a Saxon ealdorman, and is tasked with being the boy’s new bodyguard. Upon meeting the boy’s father however, Sigurd soon realizes that the ealdorman is responsible for his clan’s destruction, and secretly plans for revenge while hiding behind the guise of a Norse pagan turned Christian.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male OC

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter

LATER THAT DAY

FORANGAL CASTLE, SIGURD’S CHAMBERS

Sigurd gazed down at his hands, staring blankly into the distance as his mind tore itself apart with guilt.

His clothes were still stained with numerous splatters of Gjuki’s blood, and even though Aegenwulf finally decided to spare his life, Sigurd remained trapped in a pit of remorse, suddenly feeling an urgent desire to return home.

...What had he done? What had the Saxons turned him into? Was his mind even his own anymore? What would Eivor think about all this?

Only a handful of weeks had drifted by ever since Sigurd first washed up on Agenbury’s shore, and yet, the man felt as if a lifetime separated him from the past. He hardly recognized himself anymore after everything that had occurred, and considering how things were unfolding so far, part of him wished Edlynne had left him at the river.

He didn’t deserve to be here, or in Valhalla. Backstabbers such as himself belonged in the darkest depths of Helheim, and Sigurd had no idea how he was going to face his brother once all this was over. 

He wanted nothing more than to reunite with the fragments that remained of his family, but in light of recent events, Sigurd was now beginning to question his true motives, and how much survival really meant to him.

It would’ve been a dream come true to see Eivor’s face again, that much was true, but what would it matter if Sigurd didn’t even return as the same man? His brother was fighting to bring back the sibling he grew up with back in Fornburg, and yet, Sigurd felt as if he had become a total stranger.

There was barely anything left of the person he once was, and with Algar’s influence constantly digging deeper into the ealdorman’s mind, Sigurd didn’t even want to think about what he’d have to do to survive in the future.

Things were bad enough as it was. Any worse, and all Hell would break loose.

“Sigurd.”

Snapping out of his thoughts, the viking suddenly realized he wasn’t alone in his chambers and spotted Edric standing in front of him, trying to get his attention.

His brow was furrowed deeply in frustration, and judging by the weary look he wore on his face, Sigurd assumed he had just walked away from some sort of argument. Probably with Aegenwulf himself.

Sigurd glanced up at the man, still somewhat lost in shock. “...Edric? What are you doing here?”

The Saxon frowned in sympathy. “I apologize for intruding like this, but there’s something important you need to know. A decision was made after you left the throne room. Before I tell you about it, though... I wanted to see how you were doing first. That trial was just...” Edric sighed in disgust, “...well, you know.”

He took a seat next to the Norseman, bowing his head low in exhaustion.

“God, what an absolute mess. I knew my father had changed, but I never realized just how unhinged he was. What on earth was he thinking? Forcing two men to fight like a pair of animals. Jesus... if the Danes didn’t hate us before, they certainly will now.”

Edric turned to Sigurd, switching to a gentler tone. “I’m so sorry, Sigurd. If I had known what my father intended, I would’ve stepped in sooner. I would’ve tried to speak with him. I would’ve--”

“--You’re not to blame.” The viking replied, his voice cold with anger. “You did everything you could.”

The other man let out a breath. “Maybe. I just wish it would’ve been enough. I mean, I’m glad to see you alive, but... my God. That poor man. What was his name. Gjuki? What the hell did they do to him?”

“I feared he had already been killed,” Sigurd admitted. “But now, I’m starting to think that would’ve been a better fate.”

“No one deserves what he went through,” Edric agreed. “I still can’t believe my father would allow all this. He used to be so kind, and compassionate. He was always a firm man, but he never indulged in such cruelty. What’s happened to him?”

It didn’t take long for Sigurd to provide an answer. “Your father is no more than a pawn for Algar to use. You wish to eradicate the corruption in Wedenscire? You must get rid of him first.”

Edric picked up on his tone. “Why? Have you learned something?”

The viking nodded. “Before Gjuki drew his last breath, he revealed to me what he found in Algar’s crypt. Apparently, the man is part of the Order of the Ancients. His alias among them is The Colossus.”

Edric displayed a puzzled look. “The Order of the Ancients? I’ve never heard of them. Have you?”

“Yes, actually. Though, my knowledge on them is far from abundant. Before my clan was attacked, my brother pursued some of their members who were operating in Lunden. I also know there are many others spread across England and Norway. They worship a god whose name I’ve never heard, and their motives remain a mystery to me. I have no idea why they would be interested in your father, or how Gareth is connected to all this.”

The nobleman slid a hand down his face. “Christ Almighty. What has my family gotten itself into? I’m not familiar with this organization, Sigurd, but I’ll do whatever I can to learn more about them. If they’re as widespread as you say, there must be something we can find. Something that can put Algar down for good.”

“Just... tread carefully.” Sigurd warned. “Gjuki was on the same path as you before Algar captured him. I don’t want you to share his fate. There’s also the fact that he’ll likely be even more protective of his secrets now that someone has infiltrated his crypt.”

“Of course. I’ll be as discreet as possible.”

The viking decided to switch topics. “Well, enough about that. I’d rather not spare another thought on that bacraut after everything that’s happened. You mentioned you had something else you wanted to discuss?”

Edric sighed. “Right. You’re not going to like it. It’s... Bishop Hundwerth.”

Sigurd leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What has he done now?”

“He insists that you convert to Christianity. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but I’m afraid Lady Moira’s voice overpowered mine. My father’s decided that you’re to be baptized tomorrow morning, and recognized as a man of God.”

“But I already proved my loyalty,” the other man argued, his tone sharp with bitterness. “Wasn’t that the whole point of pitting me against my own friend? Or was that simply for their entertainment?”

Edric shared Sigurd’s annoyance. “That’s not how the bishop sees it. In his eyes, the only thing you proved is that you’re willing to murder one of your own if it means saving yourself. You may have given your word that you won’t betray us again, but for Hundwerth, the word of a pagan holds little merit. He’d rather trust the promise of a Christian.”

The Norseman rose from his bed, pacing around the room. “So it’s not enough that they torture my people and force me to slay them? Now I must also abandon my gods?”

The Saxon bowed his head in shame. “I’m sorry, Sigurd. The unfairness of this situation isn’t lost on me, but I’m afraid there’s not much else I can do. My words seem to fall on deaf ears nowadays.”

“...It’s not your fault. You’ve already done more than enough for me.” Sigurd placed his hands on his hips, gazing out the window. “I suppose there’s no use in fighting it now. I’ve seen the kind of punishment that awaits me if I resist. I do not wish to leave my gods behind, but...” his voice softened with heartache, “...if this is the cost of survival, then... I’ll do it. I need to get back home alive. I need to see my brother again.”

Edric’s head jerked up in confusion. “Your brother? I thought he was dead.”

“So did I, but Gjuki informed me of his survival not too long ago. He was the only thing keeping us in touch. Now that he’s gone, I’m at a loss as to how I’ll contact my brother again should the need arise.”

The young man stood up from the bed and stepped behind Sigurd, resting an affectionate hand on his arm.

“...We will get through this, Sigurd.” He whispered reassuringly. “I know it can be easy to forget, but you’re not alone in these walls. You have Edlynne, Joseph, Raedan... and me. We’re here for you.” 

The viking held onto Edric’s hand and turned around to face him, finding a sense of solace in his words.

“Thank you, Edric. These are dire times, but your kindness won’t be forgotten in the days to come.” Sigurd pulled the young man close, pecking a kiss on his forehead. “I’m glad I have you at my side.”

Edric smiled in his embrace, resting his head on the man’s chest. “As am I.” 

Falling into silence, the two of them simply stood there for a moment and savored each other’s company, attempting to cling onto any shred of comfort they could find. The entire castle had descended into disarray after Aegenwulf’s unpopular decision to spare Sigurd, and with Bishop Hundwerth preparing for the upcoming baptism, it seemed like peace in Forangal was naught but a distant memory.

There was arguing, debating, contempt, scorn -- and seeing as how Gjuki’s head was now displayed on a pike, Edric imagined that the war with the Danes would only erupt. 

It was Hell on earth inside Forangal’s walls, but with Sigurd there to protect him from any threats, Edric was able to feel some sense of security. It meant nothing to him that the man was a Dane, or a pagan rather than a Christian. He knew Sigurd to be good at heart, and frankly, despite what he expected, he trusted him more than his own father these days. 

He only prayed that the tides of fate would be merciful in the near future. If he were to lose Sigurd to the chaos that was beginning to unravel, Edric didn’t know how he would proceed. That man was the only one willing to help him look into Gareth’s death, and if his instincts were correct, then Algar was at the center of it all.

He would need all the help he could get in order to take that beast down, and if that meant they had to fight for just a little longer, then Edric was willing to endure it. He just didn’t know where to start.

~~~~~~~~~~

TWO DAYS LATER

ELMENHAM, EAST ANGLIA

Galloping towards the longhouse at full speed, Broder frantically stormed his way back to Eivor as rain heavily poured down from the clouds above, shrouding everything in a bleak darkness.

He had been running for his life ever since Algar cornered Gjuki at the crypt, and with the majority of their group now lying dead in the mud, Broder had no intentions of returning to Wedenscire until Eivor himself marched for the gates of Forangal.

He hated the idea of leaving Sigurd behind to deal with his troubles alone, but considering how erratic the ealdorman had become recently, Broder was no longer willing to risk it. Not on his own, at least.

He saw for himself what the Saxons did to Gjuki, and how they treated his corpse. He may have been eager to help Eivor reunite with his brother, but Broder had his own siblings to look out for, and the last thing he wanted was to end up being a mounted head for some Saxon nobleman.

He just hoped he wasn’t too late.

Yanking on the reins of his horse, Broder came to a screeching halt as the animal’s hooves went dragging through the mud, causing the steed to let out a panicked neigh. His body was aching terribly with fatigue thanks to the long journey, but even then, the viking refused to take a break. His mind had been trapped in a perpetual state of alarm ever since Gjuki’s death, and he was adamant to get the news back to Eivor.

Rushing to the entrance of the longhouse, Broder trudged through the storm and practically bashed the doors open, ignoring the curious stares he received from scattered civilians. 

Even though the rain had washed away most of the blood staining his armor, he still remained quite a sight to behold and traipsed through Elmenham’s fields like a walking corpse rising from its grave.

Once inside, Broder spotted Eivor conversing with Oswald and Valdis as the three of them discussed the war, clearly devising some sort of plan. Their voices were nearly inaudible underneath the relentless howls of the wind, but in spite of the interference, their heads still jolted in Broder’s direction upon his obtrusive entrance, causing them to let out a unanimous gasp.

“Brother!” Valdis greeted with relief. “You’ve returned.” Her expression instantly dimmed. “...Are you well? You look awful.”

The man jogged up to them, doing his best not to collapse on the spot. 

“Eivor...!” Broder exclaimed, somewhat out of breath. “There you are. I... I...”

“Easy, drengr,” Eivor said in a calming tone. “Slow down. Tell me what’s going on.”

Broder took a moment to get his bearings, finally recovering from the treacherous ride home.

“...Gjuki’s dead, Eivor.”

Valdis’ eyes widened in horror. “What? What do you mean he’s dead? What happened?”

Broder decided to spare them the details. “We were searching a hidden crypt in Wedenscire, not too far away from Forangal. We thought there might’ve been clues inside, and there were, but...”

Eivor urged him on. “But what?”

The other man shook his head in regret. “It was the ealdorman’s housecarl. An argr snake called Algar. He captured Gjuki and slaughtered the rest of our men. I was the only one who managed to escape.”

Oswald caught onto his last words. “Wait, he captured Gjuki? So he didn’t kill him immediately?”

“No,” Broder confirmed. “Algar took him to the dungeons.”

An alarming thought struck Eivor’s mind. “Wait, what about Sigurd? Where is he now? Is he alright?”

A dour look spread across Broder’s face. “He’s alive, but... Gods. It was madness, Eivor. When Algar took Gjuki in, it didn’t take him long to realize that he was working with Sigurd, so the ealdorman held a trial. They were willing to spare your brother’s life in spite of his crimes, but he had to do something in exchange. He had to kill Gjuki.”

Eivor froze at the news. 

“...Sigurd... killed him?”

“Yes. He did not wish to, but the Saxons left him no choice. It was either him or Gjuki. He chose to comply in the end.” Broder turned to his sister. “...I tried everything I could to save him, Valdis. I did. But it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry.”

The woman crossed her arms, trying to hide her pain. “I--” she choked up, “--oh, Gjuki...”

Broder hesitated to get the last part of his report out. He hated to constantly be the bearer of bad news, but he knew it was necessary.

“...There is one more thing, Eivor. While we were in the crypt, we learned that Algar was part of the Order. There were a series of letters between him and some of the other members in their organization, but he’s burned them all now.”

Oswald paused. “A member of the Order? In Wedenscire? Are you certain?”

“Indeed. They call him The Colossus.”

Eivor mindlessly clenched his fist in response to the report and brought his attention to the king, unable to conceal the fire raging in his eyes.

“Oswald, we must march on Forangal now. We have enough allies.”

The Saxon hesitated. “You’ve rallied a decent army, Eivor, but I’m still not certain if it’ll be sufficient. Forangal is a hefty fortress armed with many defenses. If we’re not careful, it could result in total obliteration.”

“We don’t have time to forge anymore alliances!” The viking argued. “Sigurd needs us. Now. Those Saxons have already butchered Gjuki, and they have the Order among them. It won’t be much longer until my brother is the one on their chopping block. We need to get him out of there as soon as possible.”

Oswald remained unswayed. “I understand your urgency, Eivor, but we must approach this realistically. Not many people walk away from Forangal with their lives, and for good reason. We only have one chance to do this right. Better to wait a little longer and ensure we’re prepared, rather than march straight to our deaths.”

The king turned to Broder. “You were there, Broder. What’s your opinion on the situation in Wedenscire? Can Sigurd afford to wait?”

The man furrowed his brow in uncertainty. “I... I don’t know, my lord. It’s difficult to say. He’s managed to survive thus far, but his captives have become unpredictable recently. Relentless. They’ve even forced Sigurd to convert to Christianity.”

That took Oswald by surprise. “What? When did this happen?”

“Just after Gjuki died. I overheard the nobles in the castle speaking of a baptism before I left. One of them was against the conversion, but the rest decided to go through with it.”

Eivor’s expression flattened with frustration. “You see? We must go now. Before they try anything else. I’m done cowering in the shadows.”

“But what if--”

“--Eivor’s right.” Valdis jumped in. “Those people are animals, Oswald. You’ve seen for yourself what they did to the Raven Clan; what they did to Randvi. If there’s any chance we can save Sigurd from the same fate, we need to take it. We’ve idled for long enough.”

Oswald was at a loss for words. “...I really don’t know how this is going to work, you all. We have enough forces to put up a decent fight, but... assaulting Forangal Castle? That’s a completely different story.”

Broder offered his own thoughts. “Do not be so quick to dismiss the unlikely, my lord. It happens more often than you think. Those are Gjuki’s words. Not mine.”

“Have faith in our strength, husband.” Valdis continued. “We are warriors. Drengir. Children of Odin. We were born and bred for this sort of thing. We will not fall so easily to these Saxons. Let us go.”

Oswald fell silent at his friends’ arguments and sighed in defeat, conflicted on what to do next.

On one hand, he sympathized with Eivor’s eagerness to storm Forangal’s gates, but on the other, he honestly didn’t know if their soldiers could survive such an endeavor. Their army was just large enough that the plan could’ve succeeded with the help of a miracle, but despite his youth, Oswald was world-weary enough to know that battles typically didn’t favor the disadvantaged.

Anything could’ve gone wrong during this assault. Aegenwulf could’ve had more forces than they anticipated, an ambush could’ve stopped them along the way, or -- worst case scenario -- Sigurd could’ve already been dead. There was an abundance of unknowns lurking around the corner, and with so many risks obscuring the path ahead, Oswald wasn’t sure if war was the answer. At least, not for now.

Still, he feared what could’ve happened to Sigurd if they waited too long. Based on Broder’s report, it sounded like the man was going through hell at the moment. If there was any opportunity for them to rescue him from Aegenwulf’s clutches, Oswald felt complied to seize it. 

Eivor did the same for him when he was taken prisoner at Burgh Castle, so it only seemed right to return the favor.

“...Alright, you three.” Oswald finally agreed. “We’ll march on Forangal Castle as soon as we are able. Eivor, summon your allies. Tell them to meet us here. When they’ve arrived, we’ll begin making our way to Wedenscire. In the meantime, the rest of us will focus on the assault. My troops are yours to command as well.”

The viking gave him a firm nod. “Thank you, Oswald. I won’t fail you.”

“I have confidence in your abilities. I just hope that it’ll be enough. As for the rest of you...” 

Oswald linked his hands together behind his back. “Get some rest. And prepare as much as you can. We don’t know what sort of resistance we’ll face in Wedenscire, but I think it’s safe to assume that our forces will be stretched thin. Do everything in your ability to ensure you are ready for this assault, and keep your guard up. We have evidence that the Order of the Ancients is involved now, so Lord only knows what Algar will have up his sleeve.”

Broder stepped in. “I’ll join the assault too.”

“No,” Oswald refused. “you need to rest. You’ve been through enough.”

“With all due respect, your Majesty, Gjuki is dead because of my incompetence. Out of honor, I cannot simply sit by and watch while your people risk their lives for a mistake I made. I’m still here because of that man. This is the least I can do for him.”

The king decided to grant him permission. “...Very well, then. I expect to see you at Forangal. As for you two, spread word of the assault to our soldiers. I want them to be prepared as well.”

Eivor nodded. “As you wish.”

“Good. Then let’s get to work. Sigurd’s life depends on our efficiency, and there’s no telling what will happen once Aegenwulf realizes who’s behind the assault. From what I understand, the man is growing more and more unstable by the day. Brace yourselves for anything... and may your gods watch over you all.”

[oh-so-heavenly]

Actual dialogue from my dream: PART FIVE

Lucy is smoking outside the school waiting for Michael.

Lucy: "are you done flirting with the teacher now?"

Mike: "flirting? She just wants to help him."

Lucy: "whatever"

Mike: "it was your idea to send him to a Human School anyway."

Lucy: "Yes, because he's annoying as fuck and SOMEONE left me to take care of him alone."

Mike: "your actions, your consequences"

Lucy *blowing smoke in his face*: "Fuck you"

Mike: "ugh, that's disgusting"

Lucy: "you're disgusting"

Mike: "and now you're acting like a child. Where's Jesus anyway?"

Lucy: "How am I supposed to know?"

Mike: "He was supposed to be waiting here while we talked to his teacher, where did he go?"

Lucy *throwing the cigarette and walking away*: "I think I know"

Mike: "where are you going now?"

Lucy: "there's a church near here, he might as well be there."

Mike: ...

Mike: "how do you know that?"

Lucy: "He's Jesus fucking Christ, so he's probably gone to Father's house. It's that or McDonald's"

Mike: "No, I mean, how do you know there's a church near here?"

Lucy: ...

It starts to rain, they get inside the church, it's quite and there are candles brightening the place. Jesus is standing in front of a wooden statue of himself crucified. He seems to be very affected by the statue, neither Mike nor Lucy know what to say to make him feel better.

Mike: "Jesus..."

Jesus: "why am I white?"

Lucy *chuckling*: "that's called whitewashing, boy, and it's one of the many consequences of racism"

Jesus: "I don't understand racism"

Lucy: "Racism is-"

Jesus: "I know what it is, I just don't understand how could you hate someone who's as much of a human as you are. It's like hating your own brothers out of pride"

Mike *looking at Lucy*: "..."

Lucy: "yeah, well, people suck"

Mike: "Lucifer, that doesn't prove anything, you hate everything"

Lucy: "hey, I said they sucked, not that I hated them. I don't hate anything."

Mike: "what?"

Jesus: "I thought you hated Father"

Lucy: "I don't, I just don't want anything of what They offer."

Mike: "..."

Jesus: "mmh, I never thought of it like that."

Lucy: "okay, it's time to go home now, there's a bottle of wine with my name waiting in the fridge and don't you have to have to do some angelic shit somewhere?"

Mike: "I- yeah, I should leave. I-"

Lucy: "what?"

Jesus: "I'm gonna go play with the candles while you two talk."

Lucy: "wh- fuck. I fucking lied, I hate that kid."

Mike: "you don't."

Lucy: "what?"

Mike: "you don't hate him, I think you actually like him"

Lucy: "shut up"

Mike chuckles before looking down, he swallows and presses his lips together while Lucy stares.

Mike: "How can you not hate Them?"

Lucy: "..."

Mike: "How- how can you not hate me?"

Lucy: "I think you hate yourself enough for the both of us."

Mike: "Fuck you"

Lucy: "and Father... I like Hell, y'know? Well, not Hell specifically. Hell sucks, it's dark and there's this disgusting smell, ugh, and don't get me start about the sinners... But I like my job, rulings Hell is pretty dope."

Mike: "that's Lilith's job."

Lucy: "Hey!"

Mike: "it was you who let her your throne"

Lucy: "you don't know her like I do, she's the greatest"

Mike *smiling at Lucy*: "I bet she is"

Jesus: "I need to pee"

Lucy: "Can't you wait until we go home?"

Jesus: "nope"

Lucy: "why didn't you go when we were still at the school?"

Jesus: "I didn't need to go then"

Lucy: "Shit, fuck, what did I do to deserve all of this?"

Mike: "You started a rebellion against Father and tried to be greater than him."

Lucy: shut up.

[wanna-b-poet31]

A Mini Meta: What’s In A Name? (1.5/?)

So Like, I do a bunch of research for my metas and in pursuit of this one, I’ve had to learn wayyyy too much about each character’s name and meanings/origins. But because there’s no real place for me to put them in my planned metas, and I still have all this information to info-dump, here it is! A master list of all the character’s >probable< meanings. Consider this a Mini-Meta. 

Find Part 1 Here: (X)

Our Ineffable Duo

Aziraphale:

Note: Azrael, a possible interpretation of his name, means “one who God helps” and is often attributed to the Angel of Death.  

Anthony J. Crowley:

The elephant in the room with Crowley is “Crawley” and all I’m going to say about it is that Crowley’s right, it’s too “crawling on the ground-y sounding”.

Anthony, on the other hand, means “of inestimable worth”, which I feel is a good balance to his deadname. Crowley deserves this and every ego boost. Someone give him a hug.

The name “Crowley”’s meaning is at most Gaelic for heroic, although from a demonic standpoint, there is also no one-for-one model. There is an Aleister Crowley but he’s a real person who is known as the “evilest man to ever live” or some such moniker. But there is no connection between the demon and the person. I’d even argue that by giving himself a “J”  Crowley puts distance between himself and Aleister.

Note: Although Supernatural also sports a “Crowley” character, Good Omens predates the TV-Show and so no connection can honestly be made.

The Them

Adam Young:

Adam’s name has many significant implications beyond just sharing it with the first man and first person to leave Eden. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell ya’ll that in Akkadian, the word stems from the word “Adamu” which translates to “to make”. And I find this phenomenally relevant to his naming and unnaming powers.

Pippin “Pepper” Moonchild:

I have SOOOO much to say about the implications of nicknames, but for this mini-meta, I’ll just leave you with this: Pippin loosely means foreigner, and while that doesn’t really connect with her character much, neither does the name Pippin so I feel that works.

Pepper, however, simply means “berry”, but I think on a much more literal level the name “Pepper” refers to her firey and passionate sensibilities.

Brian I-Couldn’t-Find-A-Last-Name:

Brian loosely means “noble one” and given he’s ready to throw down against even his best friend if it meant saving the world and standing up to an all-powerful 11-year-old with immeasurable supernatural abilities with a crow-bar. I’d call that pretty noble.

Jeremy Wensleydale:

This name took an outrageous amount to time for me to research. I’m not touching Jeremy, because literally, no one calls him it, it has no power over him. Wensleydale, however, refers to a real place in England, apparently, they’re known for their cheeses. Here, “dale” refers to a town and “Wensley” is valley named after the god “Woden” AKA Odin, AKA Norse god of wisdom and culture and war. Which Idk how closely he’s related to Odin, I do think the wisdom and class resonate with Wensleydale’s character. Of all the Them, he’s the most bookish, and most overt with his love of books.

The Angels

Michael:

Literally means “Who is like God” in Hebrew, and is the only named Archangel in the Bible. I find it interesting that this name is meant to be a rhetorical question, meaning no one is like God. However, Heaven clearly has, let’s say, ignored this question and ruled as if they are God.

Gabriel:

God’s Messanger, whose name means “God is my strength”, which, I think he takes to an extreme. Yes, he clearly gets his power from his belief God has ordained a war he will win, but more than that, he also seems convinced that all of his >abusive< actions are blessed by God, despite the series making it very clear, she isn’t talking to anyone.

Uriel:

“God is My Light”.  Like Gabriel, I find this name infinitely amusing because yes, Uriel has a fiery personality like Pepper, short-tempered, and ready for a fight, little they do is actually from the mouth of God. Uriel is also closely associated with Noah’s Ark, reportedly being the angel who warns Noah and his family of the impending flood. Although we can’t know if they did or did not question killing the kids like Crowley and Aziraphale did, as it wasn’t on screen, based on their other actions, I’m gonna say no.

Sandalphon:

Note: It’s interesting that his name is wholly dependent on the existence of “brothers” and implies he serves as a mirroring character...of whom idk yet.

Metatron:

Although MANY theologians have argued over the meaning of this name, the most popular definition means “beside the throne”, and refers to the person next to God’s Throne. This works well as he is shown to be the mediator between God’s word and the Angels. This is less good because he clearly hasn’t talked to, or isn’t willing to let others talk to God.

The Demons

Ligur:

So, Ligur is not a canonical demon. Consequently, his name has no set meaning. He’s not a “real” demon with a 1-for-1 equivalent floating through Hell. My best guess is that it’s a reference to a Chuthulu Mythological Race “Lloigor” which is known for being invisible, but when they do show themselves, are distinctly reptilic. Which, I think vibes well with the chameleon on top of his head.  

Hastur:

Note: A strict etymological breakdown of the name is associated with “chaos” and is meant to denote one who revels in destruction for destruction’s sake. It’s also very fitting for Hastur, given his desire to cause fiery chaos.  Like Metatron, there are many interpretations you can find here: (x).

Beelzebub:

Note: Beelzebub is a real demon with a fascinating mythos you can read more about here (x). Seriously, ya’ll I have a million citations, please hmu if you want more info.

Note 2: Also! Also! Also, Beezlebub makes an appearance in Lovecraftian stories and Chuthulu mythos.

Dagon:

Note: Dagon makes a few appearances in Lovecraft’s work...there’s a short story called “Dagon”... and while they’re often not included in the Chuthulu mythos, the short story “Dagon” is the first to introduce Chuthulu-like elements...so? #canon in my eyes.  

The Humans

Anathema Device:

Anathema is pretty straight forward. The name refers to someone who is detested or shunned. But more Bible-related-y Anathema refers either to something that was consecrated or to someone denounced as evil or accursed and therefore set aside for sacrificial offering. Which, is pretty much the role of Anathema. Her family has chosen to sacrifice her and her freedom in exchange to stop the end of the world. While I wouldn’t call her evil or cursed, she is definitely detested (as a witch) by the Witchfinders and Adultery Pulsifer.  

Agnes Nutter:

Alternatively: Agnes Sampson was a Scottish healer and purported witch known as the "Wise Wife of Keith". Sampson was burned in the North Berwick witch trials.

Alternatively: Agnes Waterhouse was the first person executed for witchcraft in England (1566). However, she was hanged, not burned like Sampson and Nutter.

Newton Pulsifer:

Like the character himself, Newton’s name is pretty unremarkable. It means “New Town”. Not much depth to his name. However, a “Newt” does have some religious imagery attached to its name. It supposedly symbolizes rebirth and renewal, which flows with his character arc.

Madame Tracy:

Tracy refers to “Warrior” and can sometimes mean “superior to” and “more powerful”. All of these seem to fit with a woman willing to share her body with an Angel and stand at the end of the world without flinching. Also, she clearly overrode Aziraphale’s choice to shoot a child and refused to do something she couldn’t and wouldn’t do. she’s a badass.  

Shadwell:

Shadwell means a shallow spring, but it is also a place in West London. Given Shadwell’s naming strategies I’d actually not be too surprised if he just named himself after a street name he saw. He’s not too creative.

Warlock Dowling:

Warlock means “Deceiver” and like if that’s not his life story. Through no real fault of his own, he spends the first 11 years of his life as the prophecized Anti-Christ by Heaven, Hell, and our ineffable Duo. I suppose you could say he deceived them, but really, I think it’s hilariously on the nose as he’s the not-Anti-Christ.

Harriet Dowling:

Harriet is of French origin, and means “estate ruler” and as the diplomat’s wife, I think it’s fair to say she rules the huge estate we see in the series.  

Thaddeus Dowling:

Thaddeus is likely Greek meaning “heart” and surprisingly (maybe only to me) in the Gospel of Matthew, appears as one of the apostles, although later in the Gospel the name “Jude” is also mentioned, and likely is referencing the same person.  

Sister Mary Loquacious:

“Mary” often translates to beloved or rebellious, while Loquacious refers to “talkative” which, man. I kinda love it, because she’s one of the characters who not only talks alot (relative to her short time on-screen) but also is a sweetheart.

Diedre Young:

Diedre is a young Gaelic princess who died of a broken heart, although its etymology could also just mean “young girl”.  Little is relevant to the larger arching story.

Arthur Young:

“Arthur” is Celtic for King, and legends from the round table (and some references from Ep. 3) aside, little about his name seems relevant to the story.

[singingrass-archive]

Remember that time I had to put to writing some of Job’s memorable life events in the second-person for a thread? Well, after having initially posted those, I ended up scrapping one of the memories and posting another and I figured that was worthwhile enough to make a new post for. So. Below the cut are four memorable events of Job’s life as he experienced them. Enjoy --- and when I say enjoy, what I really mean is, good luck with the heartbreak.

You’re crying as your mother drags you out of the room. Behind you, your father is holding a pillow over your brother’s face. Well, he’s holding a pillow over what used to be your brother. He died the other day. After what you’ve done to him, no one is really sure what he is anymore. He scared you, that empty stare in his eyes, drool collecting at the bottom of his mouth and dripping over his lip and onto his chest — but Pa’s taking care of it. It gone be alright, he whispers to the thing lying on the bed repeatedly in a fractured voice. You don’t hear it struggle.       Your mother doesn’t say anything. Her grip on your arm is crushing your bones and you’re begging her to stop, or you try, though you can barely speak through the tears. “Ma, pl-plea— please — I’m sorry, I didn-n’t m-mean to — I thought — I th-thought I could-d fix it — I’m sorry, Ma! I’m s-so sor-ry! Please!”       She pays you no mind. Your sisters and brother (the living one — the one you didn’t turn into a monster) watch you from the common room, but say nothing. They are too small to find the words. They are as clueless as you are.       Ma drags you out the front door. It’s January and snowing so heavily you can’t even see the Rockies; the warmest items of clothing on your skinny little body are your sweater and house shoes. You stumble through the snow, begging your mother to let you go. You don’t tell her she’s hurting you, though. You deserve it after what you’ve done to Gene.       She drags you out the front gate and onto the side of the road — then, finally, she lets go of your arm. Apologizing still, you step closer, reach out to her — but she slaps you so hard it knocks the tears out of your eyes.       “You…” her voice is shaking too, just like Pa’s — but not with grief but, rather, with rage. “You’re evil. You’re an evil child.” You stand there, mute and dumbstruck, your face burning and that slap still ringing in your ears. “Go away. You ruined him. Wh— whatever you are, you ain’t my son! You don’t belong here! Get the fuck away from here and don’t ever come back!”

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He’s sitting beside you in that same diner you always meet in. Well, ‘meet’ might not quite be the right word — it isn’t exactly up to you, it isn’t like you want to meet him — but you’re always sitting in that same diner when he finds you in your dreams. Outside, it’s pitch black — you can’t even see the sidewalk. Maybe there isn’t a sidewalk. Maybe the diner exists in a void. It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s a dream — but that doesn’t make you any less terrified.       He’s in his early thirties. Blond hair, blue eyes; white collar and black cloth. His smile is so incredibly disarming. You thought he were your friend at first — but boy, do you know better now. You’re sixteen; it’s been three years since you moved in with your Great Aunt Patience. Somehow, he knows this. Perhaps he’s been watching your dreams. You dream about Gene and your parents quite often.       You are sitting beside one another at the counter. He’s smiling at you. You’re petrified, and you are too young and thick not to let it show. “No,” you tell him, barely knowing your own voice, it is so tinged in fear.       “Oh, you dumb boy,” he tells you, his smile growing ever-wider, “yes.”       The large window behind your backs crashes in a shock of shattered glass. On instinct, you hunch forward, your arms wrapping over your head.       Then, you wake up in bed. Your heart beats wildly, your breath labored, your frame (even scrawnier with the added, impossible height) covered in goosebumps and cold sweat. Thank the Lord, you’re safe.       You hear something go bump in the night       “… Patty?” You call out to your aunt. There comes no answer, just the barely-there sound of rustling cloth. You swallow, push your hair, damp with sweat, out of your face, and slip your feet out from under the covers and off the mattress. The old floorboards creak and cry under your weight. Then, they cry some more just beside your bedroom door. You can feel yourself shrink, shoulders hunched forward and arms around your middle, as you carefully step towards the door. You call out, louder this time, “aunt Patience?”      Oh, you dumb boy. Yes.      The voice seems to come from nowhere at all and everywhere at once — there is enough moonlight filtering through the open window for you to know there is absolutely no one in the room other than yourself. You don’t even have the time to turn around before you feel something hot and sharp cut into your back, right between your shoulder-blades. The pain is blinding. You fall to the floor in a miserable thud. You think you can hear someone screaming. Maybe it’s you.       Patty is a thick-set woman and you can hear her clumsy, heavy steps as they near your room. “Job?”       A new jolt of pain shoots through your body when he cuts you again with his claws. Your screams sound like those of a dying animal. It occurs to you that you should run — crawl if you have to — but you’re too paralyzed with pain and fear to move. You hear the door open with urgency. You know Patty turned the lights on because they shine red through your squeezed-shut eyelids.       … and just like that, it’s over. Boucher is no longer in the room — somehow, you know this. You do not need to make sure, just like he always knows to find you in your dreams.

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“— you did what?”       “Yit’s for your own good. You haff to trust me —”       You can’t help but make a dismissive little huff at that. It really isn’t like you to be so bitter and petty - but in this very moment, you feel so utterly betrayed that you can’t help yourself. You’re quite sure you’ve never felt this way before. “For my own good? You calling fuckin’ funny farm on me is for my own good?”       “Job. You were sitting here telling me how you talk to god. How there is some man you haven’t ever met chasing you. How you can take life from things —”       “— and give them to others.”       Nadja pauses and looks at you with those big honey eyes of hers with a look that tells you, ex-fucking-actly, you maniac. You knew just how fucking loony you sounded when you told her — but you figured she loves you enough to believe you or, if not that, then to accept it’s what you think to be real, in the least. You didn’t expect her to call the white fucking coats on you. What the fuck. You’ve been living together for six months — fuck, you told this girl you were going to marry her — and the two of you are just eighteen. Your heart is in your pants. You feel sick. You’re not sure whether you’ve ever felt anger in your life before this. Is this what anger feels like?       “You haff to understand this from my eyes.” She tells you with her thick Ukrainian accent that always makes you laugh because it makes you think of Eugene Hutz in Everything Is Illuminated with his hilarious broken English. She knew this would be a mistake — you can tell by that look in her eyes, a mixture of regret and pity and, possibly, fear. She’s afraid of you. Of course she is, you’re fucking mad as far as she’s concerned. “You know yit’s not normal, right? Job, you know that. You haff to.“       “Yeah — I fuckin’ know, alright?” You snap at her. She takes half a step away from you. You’re hardly a threat, you reckon — but this is the first time she’s ever heard the soft-spoken, kindhearted boy she fell in love with raise his voice. “I know it sounds crazy, alright? So what? Crazy things ain’t never happened to anyone before? Jesus fuckin’ Christ on his fuckin’ throne.”       “Compose yourself.” She means calm down, but you don’t correct her. You know her well enough by now to know she gets her words mixed up sometimes. “What you tink is happening — the voices you’re hearing —”       You feel like you’ve been punched in the throat. “I ain’t hearin’ voices, Nadja.”       “— they will help you. You are not well, Job. This yisn’t normal. Greystone Park — they will know what to do.”       “Oh my Lord.” You stand there, holding your face in your hand for a long moment and try to find your calm. It’s not her fault. Of course she thinks you’re mad, none of this has ever made any sense, not even to you. She really believes she’s helping you. It’s only out of love.       But you can’t stay here — you can’t let them take you to the loony bin. You will be unable to move there, unable to run whenever you need to, and he will find you, and he will kill you. You know that for a fact.       So you turn your back to her and walk away, into the bedroom. You find you old knapsack at the bottom of the closet and begin stuffing it with your clothes.       “Job? Job, what are you doing?” She calls out to you, but hesitates a moment before following. “You can’t just leaf like this!”

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It’s July. You’re in upstate New York. Wine Country. It’s gorgeous up here; so nice that on occasions like this, when the weather certainly allows for it, you’d rather sleep outside even when you can afford a motel room. You’re somewhere near the Finger Lakes and everything is green; this local park in some tiny little town in the middle of fucking nowhere is one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. This is where you find God. Not specifically, not now, He doesn’t talk to you when you’re awake — but this is where you find His glory. In a windblown wheat field or on the ridge of a mountain — or here, in this park, in all of His creation.       There’s a little pond in the middle of the park; you go there in search of a bench to sleep on. It’s dusk; the skies are painted brilliant oranges and pinks. It’s your favorite time of day. Well, sunrise is, but this is close enough. It’s so beautiful out here you think you might cry, but you don’t. Pa used to say you were too soft. Ma used to say you were a sensitive boy. You haven’t changed; not in the softness department and not in the boyhood one, even if you are twenty four years old.       You step towards the little pond. Daffodils line its bank, their yellow mouths turned to the east, where the sun will rise tomorrow. You fold your knees before you and duck down to pick one when you notice something lying on the gravel. It’s a little bird, a Great Tit with its soft yellow belly, lying face-down in the shallows, wings spread unevenly, unmoving. It’s dead.       Poor, delicate little thing. You sink both palms of your hands into the water, even though the bird is so small you just need the one, and pick it up. It lies lifeless in your hands.       You think on it. What harm can it do — to help? It’s just this tiny little creature. Surely, it cannot cause too great a ripple. But the park is so beautiful, you do not want to ruin it, you do not want to suck the life out of God’s glory.       … what harm can it do to you? After all, it’s only little.       You take your one palm and place it over the bird, still cradling it in the other. You push it out of you — just a little surge of life. You can feel it now, pulling its wings close to its body and rolling around in the palm of your hand so that it’s standing. It’s near weightless. Its feet tickle your calloused skin.       Slowly, you stand up. You do not notice you’re feeling slightly off-balance. Your eyes gape in wonder and awe when you slowly peel your top palm off the little creature in your hand. It shakes water off of its feathers and you smile. It doesn’t look at you as it springs off your palm and flies away, towards the trees on the other side of the bank. You turn your head up to look at it, mouth hanging slightly agape.       You realize, then, you feel awfully sick. You turn around, bend down, and throw up.

[marytipeswords]

Across the Universe pt.2

So, you probably don’t remember it, but I uploaded an imagine of Tom a while ago, and, well, here is the second part. I hope you like it. 

Part 1 https://marywinchester221b.tumblr.com/post/163477791996/across-the-universe

You already had everything ready to go, your bags were made and you were just waiting for your family, they insisted that they wanted to accompany you to the airport, after all Singapore is very far away and they didn’t knew when they would see you again. You grabbed your cellphone, nothing, not a call or a message from Tom in the last few days, maybe he grabbed the hint and decided to stop bothering you. A part of you felt relieved that you no longer had to avoid him, but another part of you was hurt. You didn’t want to believe that he had given up on you so easily, that he had let you go just like that, which also made you think that maybe Tom had done what he did on purpose so he didn’t have to break up with you, and that made you angry. "Y/N, are you with us?" You were so deep in your thoughts that didn’t realized when your family arrived at your apartment. "Ah, what? Yes, I agree." "Do you agree with what? What were you thinking?" "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous, and my anxiety refuses to leave me alone." "Oh, my child", your older sister, Susan, hugged you, and for a moment you felt that everything was fine, that everything was going to be okay, that nothing hurt, that no one could hurt you. Her hugs had that effect, they managed to transport you to those times where you were a little girl and all you had to worry about was to have fun, nothing more, and that the scraped knees hurted more than a broken heart. And, hell how you missed those times! You would give anything to go back in time and live it once more. But you couldn’t, instead you had to get on a plane and go to a country that is thousands of miles away from your home, alone, when all you wanted was to stay home to eat and cry and be that little girl again. The road to the airport was normal, quite quiet, when you and your family arrived the things changed. You all started to cry, that's the problem of being the little girl in the house, yes, you have left the country before, but not alone, you were always accompanied by one of your brothers or sisters, sometimes one (or both) of your parents, and if you traveled alone were very short distances, but this is the first time you travel so far away and alone, although they tried to convince you that one of them could accompany you, but you told them no, this was something you have to do alone. You were about to cross the doors, when you hear, music? Yes, it is music, and that song, it was too familiar, and then you hear someone calling you, “Y/N”, that voice, his voice ... you were paralized, your legs didn't move and you felt as if your brain had stopped working, after what seems an eternity you manage to move it enough to turn around, and see him. Having him here, in front of you, face to face, oh God, it made you remember how much you love him. It took all your willpower to not to throw yourself on him and kiss him, without realizing tears began to roll from your cheeks, and Tom wiped them with his thumb, his eyes met yours, and you both were standing there, Tom with and old boombox on his hand and a cassette playing “Across the Universe” of David Bowie, God, you loved that song, God, you loved David Bowie, and God you loved that man in front of you so, so much…

The song ended, you tried to open your mouth but Tom cut you off. “‘Sounds of laughter, shades of life are ringing through my open ears Inciting and inviting me Limitless undying love, which shines around me like a million suns It calls me on and on and on Across the universe’, I know how much you love this song, and hell I know how much you love David Bowie, and I also know that I’m a idiot and that I screwed up things so much, that what I have left of life will not be enough for you to forgive me, and no matter what I do I can’t undo what I did, miss one of the most important days of your life is something I will never forgive myself for, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to compensate you and show you how much I love you, and, and” Tom started to babble, his hands were shaking and he has passed his free hand through his hair way too many times in the last minute, a clear signal of how nervous and anxious he was. “Y/N, I know you don’t want to talk to me, and you don’t have to do it, but listen to me, please… let’s start over, I promise you I never going to let you down ever again, I’m going to be the best boyfriend ever, I will go to all your events and I will be in the front row cheering you… please, Y/N”, his eyes lock into yours and, for a moment, everything else didn’t matter, it was like time was paused, and the only people in the planet were you and Tom, “please, Y/N, stay…” “Tom”, you said almost as a whisper, “I love you, as I will not love anyone else, and I will love you for the rest of my life. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how many time is it, but…  you can’t ask me to stay. Do you seriously think a few nice words are going to delete everything you did? Are going to erase how I felt back then, how I feel right now? I love you but I can’t stay, I'm not going to stay, this is too important, if you want we can talk about this latter, when I come back from my trip, but not now I have to go… I'm sorry" you crossed the airport doors and started to walk without seeing backward, more tears falling down and you couldn’t stop them, this hurts so much.

Tom’s POV Everytime I had to fly for a press conference or anything related to my job, Y/N accompanied me and before I crossed the airport doors, we looked to our half heart necklaces, mine saying “Yer Jalan Atthirari Anni” (You are the moon of my life), and hers saying “Shekh Ma Shieraki Anni” (My sun and my stars), - yes, just as Khal Drogo and his Khaleesi, and, even thought I’m not a huge Game of Thrones fan, Y/N is, hell, she is THE FAN, so that’s why I buy those necklaces for our second anniversary- , then pull them together and kiss very passionately until we made the people around us uncomfortable. I know, it could sound a little, cheesy (?), but it was our thing. And it calm me down because I knew that in the time I wasn’t going to be around, Y/N  was going to remain mine, just as I was going to remain hers. But this time was different. This time Y/N were the one crossing those doors, and we didn’t made our thing, so that leaves a possibility that she isn’t going to remain mine. What if she meets someone else? Someone better than me? Someone that treat her well, someone with she has more things in common than we have in common. God, please don’t let that happen. At least now I know that her trip to Singapore isn’t permanent, that she will come back here, and, hopefully, she will come back to me. But for that to happen I need to prove to her how much I love her and how much she means to me. Damn, this has to be good and huge, but mostly, special.

_____________________

The flight passed as normal as possible, one part you spent sleeping and the other ending your speeches. When you arrived in Singapore they were waiting for you in a Rolls Royce, "Wow! These people do know how to treat their guests", you said to yourself. You were staying at the Carlton Hotel, 7 miles away from Merlion, the city center. It was a very nice hotel - and quite luxurious. You spent 5 days in Singapore, in the conferences you did very well, even gave some talks in some schools to motivate the children to follow their dreams, as you did. Now you were traveling to Europe, you had a few business meetings in Germany, France and Italy, as there were several plastic producers who were interested in starting to change their production methods. In that time you spoke a lot with your family, and you also spoke with Tom, he may or may not convince you to made a stop in London for a few days, but you weren’t that sure… at least you have a couple of days to think about it. The meetings were good, the owners of the companies wanted to start as soon as possible the production with your formula, that made you incredible happy. You were relaxing in your bedroom, laying in the huge bed, when you heard a knock, which surprise you because you weren’t expecting anyone, you have talk with your family just 20 minutes ago and David was in the middle of a rehearsal so, who the hell could be? Another knock bring you out of your thoughts back to reality, hesitantly, you got up and got close to the door, before opened it you heard a familiar voice you haven’t heard in a while, “Jesus Christ, I know you’re there, Y/N, just open the damn door and let me in”, that voice belonged to… Zendaya? WHAT THE HELL was she doing here? How the fuck she find you? You open the door and she get in your room - which was quite luxurious-. “Damn girl, so this is how you roll now? Not even Marvel pay us such nice rooms, you might been having quite a great time here” she rise her eyebrows and put her signature smirk. “Yeah, sure, quite a fun time being in meetings all day and getting here too tired to do anything besides eat and sleep”, you roll your eyes and let yourself fall on the bed. “Congratulations, by the way, I heard you have been kicking asses and having important people in the palm of your hand, that’s my girl!” Zendaya said very cheerfully, and started to scan the room. Your suitcases were already done, you had planned to leave Italy tomorrow in the morning, but you didn’t know if you were traveling straight to your home with your family or… to England with Tom. You decided you were going to make a decision after a long and deserved full night of sleep, but in the moment Zendaya knock your door that option flew out the window. Since she is here she might be helpful. “So, Z, how do yo…” you couldn’t finish your sentence because Zendaya cut you off. “So, girl, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not here because of destiny or because this is a huge casualty. I’m here because I have a mission, and hell I’m intent to comply it.” “What is your miss…” “I will tell you everything in the morning, yes sweetheart? I think is better if we both have a little of sleep, you must be incredible tired from all the meetings and that flight got me drained out, so good night Impossible girl.” Next day you wake up to the smell of… food? You almost forgot that Z was with you, she was already eating and with a bathrobe. “Morning sunshine, move your ass here so you eat while I finish getting ready, and then you go next.” You got up pouting and cursing because it was way too early to be up and how on hell Z could be up and with a good mood at this time? “You’re tall… and bossy.” Two hours later you both were ready and waiting for your cab. “So…” you started, “which is your ‘mission’?” “What are u talking about gurl?” Z say raising one of her perfects eyebrows. “‘I’m here because I have a mission, and hell I’m intent to comply it’ that’s what you told me yesterday.” “Oh, yeah, my mission, well, emmmm, I need you to come with me to England, and before you roll your eyes or something like that, let me explain you. I meet a people in a conference, and they where talking about your research, so I told them I knew you and they get too excited, they really want to talk with you, or, well, they want to interview you, know what inspire you to do the research and everything. And, before you say something, I know that you’re not very much into interviews and that kind of stuff, but, really baby, isn’t anything like you have seen Tom and me do, no, is different. Besides, these people are almost our age and they were incredibly excited about meet you and talk to you, so, pleeeeeeease, come with me. Help a sister.” “What is his name?” “What? Whose name? What are u talking about?” “The name of the guy that you’re interest in and that want to interview me,  and, before you try to made your offended act, I know that smirk that you have in your face” “Ok, you got me. Yeah, I’m interested in one of them, but that is just a plus of everything I told you, now, what you say?” “Well, I don’t know, I mean I really like the idea…” “But?” “Tom is in England” “So? Y/N, come on! England is such a big country, I mean the possibility that you and Tom see is little, pleeeeeeease” Zendaya start pointing and, lets be honest, you couldn’t say no to her, so, you ended up agreeing. The flight was quite, you talked about a lot of things, yes, including what happened with Tom. When you and Zendaya exit the airport, an air of familiarity hits you on the face. The last time you were here was for Nikki’s birthday, and now, well, that wasn’t the case. You grab a cab and go to the hotel, Z told you that she was going to be there later because she had to talk with the people that were to interview you, and, well, you believed her. Since you were alone in the room and didn’t knew exactly what to do, you decided to watch Netflix. At some point you ended up sleeping and the sound of a open door wake you up, you turn around to see that Z was the one who has caused that sound. “Sorry babe, didn’t mean to wake you up, but now you’re awake maybe we can go out, what do you think?” “Sure, let me get ready” “Wait, can you put you on this?”,  Z give to you a trench coat, a fez and a bow tie, it was the outfit of the eleven doctor, you thought, you raise an eyebrow to Z, but she just smile at you and leave the room. You put on a white long sleeve button shirt, jeans, a pair of white Converse and finish your outfit with the trench coat, the fez and the bow tie. You didn’t feel like putting on much make up, so you just put on little of lipstick, mascara and a little of color to your eyebrows. Z texted you to meet her in the lobby, so you did. You both exit the hotel and there was a car waiting for you, Z had a look on her face, like if she was hiding something, like if there was something she wasn’t telling you.   You arrive to a place were you have always dream of visit, but it was just that, a dream, the Doctor Who Experience. Now it made sense that Z has give to you the eleven’s doctors outfit, speaking of her, she… disappeared? Well, maybe you were too excited admiring the place and she was already inside, so you entered the building, the excitement was invading every part of your body and you feel like a little girl that was taken to the fair for the first time, and then, you heard… music? That song, you already listened, in the airport, when Tom went to ask you to stay, you follow the music and see… him. There he was, dressing as the tenth doctor, with a smile on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes. The song ended and you both stare at each other for a while, just there, breathing and looking into each other eyes as if you both were looking for the answer of a question that hasn’t asked yet, Tom keep looking at you until his eyes went down to look at a paper in his hand. “it all begins with you, everything and anything. it all starts with you. I realized this to be true as I continued to self-care, more aware of what I wanted, needed, and deserved. an special day, many years ago, thanks to my not so good memory I can't remember exactly when, I met a girl that change my life, Y/N Y/LN. I fell in love with her eyes and her smile over the years. I fell so deeply in love with a girl that turned to a woman in front of my eyes.

...my past is yours, the present is ours, and the future await us all.

thank you, Y/N Y/LN for being brace enough to let me in. I write you in thanks, not only as your best friend and partner in life, but also as someone who is in desperate need of your existence and presence for the rest of my life. in these words, I tell a story of pain, but in my life, next to you, I am overwhelmed with joy. you are proof that there is good waiting for anyone who has lived a life of pain. you are poof that soul mates exist and that they can be found even in situations where one has given up hope. I'm so happy that I found you, or maybe you found me. regardless of it all, you helped turn my grief into happiness. you helped turn my nights into morning once more.” "You ... you just paraphrased a verse from one of my favorite authors, r.h Sin?" “Y… yes, I-I-I’m not good at expressing myself, and I know that nothing that comes out of my brain can express my feelings towards you, so I decided to do it with the words of one of your favorite authors, which is certainly much better than whatever I could have written.” “Th ... thank you, seriously, it was beautiful” “And”, Tom said almost as a whisper, “please... let's start over, I know I screwed up things, and badly, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to undo what I did, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to compensate you and show you how much I love you- Tom bend a knee, took a box from his pocket, opened it and there was a ring with a TARDIS on it, he looked you in the eyes and said "Will you be my companion for the rest of my life?, I promise you my forever, even if it is only a day or a hundred years, they are yours, I am yours." You were speechless, the man you are in love is in front you, dressing as one of your favorites characters, confessing his love to you, a love that have save so many times in the past four years, a love you want to keep feeling, a love you’re sure is stronger than everything. “God, Tom, I-I-I don’t know what to say” “Say Yes, you know you want to, hell, we all know you want to” Zendaya say out of somewhere. “Yes, Tom, I will be your companion as long as there is strength in my body and air in my lungs. Even when death take my breath away, I will stay with you, I will love you.” Tom got up and kiss you passionately and you both started a heated make out session. “God, get a room please!” Harrison voice interrupted your actions, you look at Tom with all the love you have, and he retuned you the look with the same feeling. “After all this time?” you ask. “Always” Tom answer you.

[charmedtheselfproclaimedking]

Charmed Again: Season 2 (Charmed Fanfic)

Episode 3 - Sweet Dreams Aren’t Made of These

Warnings: I don’t own the rights to any of the characters from the hit TV show “Charmed” or the storylines related to the show those rights belong to original creator Constance M Burge.

15+ Moderate/Graphic Displays of Violence, Sexual Innuendos, Witchcraft and Potentially Triggering Scenes.

Drake Black found himself running through the dark caves of the Underworld while constantly looking back in fear of something clearly chasing him until his demonic ex Ash Anderson blinked in front of him stopping Drake in his tracks.

“Ash,” Drake said in shock. “I haven’t seen you since I found out you were working with my mother from hell.”

“Well I guess you’re wrong again you know that’s kind of your thing being wrong all the time.” Ash replied while walking towards Drake.

“Athame!” Drake yelled as he held out his hand only to be confused when nothing happened.

“Your powers have been taken from you just like everything else in your life.” Ash taunted his former flame. “That way we can be alone.”

“What do you want from me now?” Drake snapped at the demon. “Haven’t you messed with me enough?”

“All I’ve ever wanted is for your hand in marriage so we can finally rule the Underworld together.” Ash revealed to him.

“I can’t believe you’re still pushing that same old line!” Drake replied before launching towards Ash beginning a fight between the two.

Drake and Ash fought for a while with Drake getting in several punches and kicks as he began winning the fight between himself and his demonic ex before he launched a finale kick aimed at Ash’s stomach causing the demon to fall to the ground before blinking away out of existence.

“How the hell did you just do that?” Drake asked in shock when Jake Morgan blinked himself in front of him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jake responded with a sinister smirk. “I’m a demon I guess us demons stick to our kind.”

“I’m not evil,” Drake shouted as he punched Jake’s face before Jake blinked out of sight just like Ash had done. “I’m a charmed one, I’m not evil.”

“Oh, my darling boy you and I already know that your both.” Eve told her son after appearing in front of him within a burst of flames.

Paul Halliwell was next to find himself lost within the caves of the Underworld before walking further through the caves until she entered the throne room of the source to find Drake sat on a throne made out skulls while wearing robes that had been worn by the original source of all evil.

“Drake, what are you doing here?” Paul asked his son confused by the situation he had found himself in.

“I’m fulfilling my one true destiny the only true calling I was born for to become the source of all evil.” Drake revealed as his eyes went completely black for a moment.

“Your destiny your calling is to be with me and your aunt and be a charmed one this isn’t your place it’s your mother’s.” Paul told him, trying to get through to his son.

“Oh, father you always knew this day was coming after all me turning evil was always your greatest fear.” Drake admitted as he stood up from his throne. “Well now all your fears have become a reality.”

“This can’t be real,” Paul panicked. “This must be some kind of trick!”

“I have a proposal for you father I had to do away with mother to become king, but I’d rather not kill you,” Drake revealed to his father. “I want you and Pan to join me in the Underworld.”

Pan Halliwell walked into P3 only to be left shocked to find her former flame and current queen of hell Eve stood by the bar in an empty club wearing a figure hugging bright red dress.

“I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever for you.” Eve greeted the Halliwell witch.

“What are you doing here Eve?” Pan asked while walking towards her former love. “I’ve not seen you since we tried vanquishing you.”

“Maybe you haven’t seen me but your nephew my son hasn’t missed a day without contacting me in some way in fact he’s came around to my way of thinking.” Eve revealed to her. “Just like your brother now has.”

“And what exactly is your way of thinking?” Pan asked the source.

“Pan, don’t you remember the way we used to be?” Eve questioned her as she raised her hand and began stroking Pan’s hair. “Don’t you remember how happy we were?”

“I remember how you cheated on me with my own brother and got yourself pregnant to him.” Pan answered her while pushing Eve’s hand away from her hair.

“I remember even after all that for a moment we considered raising Drake together that moment of consideration was the happiest moment of my entire existence.” Eve replied to her. “I know it was nothing more than thoughts but now is our chance to make it all a reality.”

Before Pan could reply to the queen of hell she was left in shock as both Drake and Paul blinked into the room standing in front of her and Eve with their eyes completely jet black.

“I’m sorry sister but this is the only way to unite our family the way it’s meant to be.” Paul said to his younger sister. “This way we can all be together.”

“What do you mean we can’t wake up any of the charmed ones?” Lacey asked Quinn as they walked into the attic of the Halliwell Manor. “I get Drake can be snappy when waking him up but for Christ sakes Quinn it’s the middle of the day.”

“I’m not afraid to wake them up trust me I’ve tried numerous ways of waking them all up, but they won’t wake.” Quinn explained to her as they walked over to the book of shadows. “I think somebody has put them under some kind of sleep spell or curse.”

“Well as a slept in excuse being under a spell is a good one.” Lacey replied as Quinn began flicking through the pages of the book of shadows. “What exactly do we do when the charmed ones are under a sleeping spell?”

“I don’t know this if the first time I’ve ever known them to be under a sleeping spell before so I’m guessing we find a way to wake them up somehow or we just stand around and wait.” Quinn revealed to her while continuing to flip through the pages of the book of shadows.

“I have an idea why don’t we try healing them awake?” Lacey suggested to her fellow white lighter.

“That might work on at least Paul and Pan but considering Drake’s part demon we can only ever heal like 50% of him.” Quinn responded to Lacey’s suggestion.

“Okay I’ll get to the healing and you continue trying to find a magical solution in the book.” Lacey replied only for the two white lighters to be left shocked when Barba shimmered into the attic.

“I had a feeling you pair would try getting in the way and I can’t be letting that happen again.” The daughter of the demon of fear told them before a male dark lighter orbed into the attic dark lighter style.

The dark lighter orbs a crossbow into his hands and instantly shoots several arrows which are fired in both Lacey and Quinn’s directions one each hitting them within their chests and causing them to fall to the ground groaning in pain.

“Thanks for the assist but I can take it from here.” Barba said to the dark lighter before the dark lighter orbed out of the attic.

Drake walked onto the stage at Devilish Delights looking dazed and confused while only wearing a pair of golden hot pants as he looked out towards the audience only to find the entire club was completely empty.

“You never do seem to get all the recognition you deserve now do you?” Ash asked Drake rhetorically after blinking himself to be standing in front of the Halliwell hybrid.

“I don’t get why you keep popping up suddenly or how the hell I got here to be honest.” Drake admitted his confusion to the demon.

“You never were going to be my king…” Ash said before blinking away only to be replaced by Quinn who orbed into his spot dark lighter style.

“I know for sure you’d be willing to be my king.” Quinn told Drake.

“No this can’t be real,” Drake said to Quinn in denial of the entire situation. “You’re not real none of this can be real.”

“This is everything we’ve ever wanted since the day we first met,” Quinn said as he pulled Drake in towards his body and kissed him. “Don’t you finally want to be with me?”

“I want to be with the real you, but I know that’s never going to happen,” Drake revealed as he pushed Quinn off him. “You’re not Quinn because the Quinn I love would never turn evil at the will of a hat or be secretly evil all along so if you’re going trying to fool me you going to have to try harder.”

Suddenly Quinn disappeared as Barba appeared within his place taking up the spot Quinn was once standing in.

“I had a feeling something like this would be down to you, but I’ve got to say for a sequel this is kind of sucking.” Drake mocked the demon of fear.

“I have no idea why both sides are so desperate to get their hands on you I’ve never understood it.” Barba replied to the Halliwell hybrid. “I mean sure your part demon part witch but you’re just so meh.”

“The chick gate crashing people’s dreams for kicks trying to take a swing at me.” Drake taunted her. “Funny enough I don’t care if you think I’m worth while or not because I’m fairly certain you’re not going to be around for much longer.”

Barba raised her hand magically forcing Drake to fall to his knees as he began choking on and coughing blood much to Barba’s delight.

“I said to the source I’d consider keeping you alive, but I considered it and I decided against it.” Barba admitted to the dying Halliwell hybrid.

Lacey and Quinn lay there dying on the floor within the attic of the Halliwell family home until Lacey mastered up enough strength to pull the arrow out of her chest quickly holding her hand down on the wound while she used the other hand to help her crawl over to Quinn before pulling the poisoned arrow out of his chest, throwing it across the room and beginning to heal her fellow white lighter.

“Get to them as quickly as possible.” Lacey managed to say before passing out cold after half-healing Quinn making him conscious again but still wounded.

Quinn attempted to heal Lacey before it became very clear he was too drained from his own wounds before quickly finding himself relieved by head elder Paige orbing into the attic and instantly rushing over to them both to begin healing them.

“Luckily for you guys your charges have really nosy ancestors.” Paige said to Quinn while she continued healing both white lighters with her powers. “The minute I’m done healing use I highly suggest checking on the charmed ones.”

Pan sat alone on the edge of her bed within her bedroom looking at an old picture of her and Eve from many years ago before Eve walked into the room closing the door behind her.

“We were really happy once I wish we could’ve stayed that way forever.” Eve said to Pan as she started walking over to her.

“Eve we used to be in love, but we were never happy when we were together.” Pan admitted as she stood up from her bed. “You were constantly fighting your demonic side while I was constantly fighting with my family and things only got worse after you got pregnant with my brother’s baby.”

“Are you ever going to forgive me for that?” Eve asked her.

“Eve I forgave you years ago, but I also stopped loving you years ago. We were only ever complication after complication and after a while those complications that kept things interesting between us started to bore me.” Pan explained to her former lover. “We never really worked together whereas now I’m with someone who gets me completely and I get her it’s like Lacey and I were always meant to be.”

Eve quickly disappeared within a burst of flames as she was replaced by Barba who blinked into Pan’s bedroom.

“I had a feeling you were behind all this.” Pan told the second generation’s demon of fear.

“Well no-one can say you don’t have a sharp mind I must admit you lot have definitely improved since my last visit.” Barba revealed to her.

“I’m guessing by the sudden changes of location and the confusion in my mind you’ve somehow taken my fears to my dream realm.” Pan guessed correctly.

Barba quickly raised her hand forcing Pan to fall to her knees in excruciating pain caused by Barba’s magic as like Drake earlier Pan began coughing up blood.

“Sometimes fear isn’t enough to do the deed, but I don’t mind getting my hands a little dirty from time to time.” Barba taunted Pan.

A newly healed Quinn walked into Drake’s bedroom horrified to see Drake’s unconscious body laying in his bed viciously shaking while blood began pouring out of his mouth instantly making him run over to his side and attempt to heal the man he loves only to be left shocked when his healing powers don’t work on him at all.

“Drake, don’t you dare die on me!” Quinn shouted while holding Drake’s body down to stop him shaking anymore before continuing to shout. “Paige, get in here now!”

Quinn suddenly blinked out of existence before Paige ran into Drake’s bedroom horrified to see the state of her great-great nephew Drake and wondering where the hell Quinn had vanished to.

Paige quickly rushed over to use her healing powers on the youngest charmed one only to realize they weren’t working on him.

“Book of shadows!” Paige shouted while holding out her hands before the book of shadows orbed into her hands. “Hold on Drake, for the love of god please hold on.

Much to his own confusion Quinn found himself blinked into Devilish Delights where he immediately noticed Drake laying on the stage wearing just a pair of golden hot pants while his body shook viciously, and blood poured out of his mouth.

Quinn quickly rushed onto the stage and began healing his charge this time his healing powers worked fully on Drake who quickly woke up as Quinn wrapped his arms around him and gave him a tight hug.

“I’m so done with these bloody nightmares.” Drake moaned as he pushed Quinn away from him as he remained lying on the floor of the stage while Quinn was knelled next to him.

“This is a nightmare and none of this is real but I’m real that why I healed you.” Quinn told his charge.

“No this is just another trick Barba you’re not going to fool me again.” Drake argued with his white lighter.

“It’s me Drake…It’s really me.” Quinn pleaded.

“Prove it!” Drake demanded.

Quinn kissed Drake softly on the lips hoping Drake would instantly recognize his kiss from before as the two looked at each other with a sense of longing before giving in to their feelings once again as Drake pulled Quinn’s body on top of him as the white lighter and demon began passionately making out with each other, their hands beginning to explore each other’s bodies.

Drake and Quinn suddenly found themselves back in Drake’s bedroom which didn’t stop them from making out not even for a second as their tongues continued to clash against each other’s while their hands roamed each other’s bodies until Paige let out a loud coughing making the two lovers look over to see Lacey and Paige stood in the corner of the room next to Drake’s opened bedroom door.

“Are Paul and Pan awake?” Drake asked as he climbed off Quinn and stood up from his bed.

“No net yet,” Lacey revealed as Quinn stood up from Drake’s bed looking incredibly embarrassed. “I’m beginning to get really worried.”

“Pan’s dreams.” Drake yelled as he pointed at Lacey making her blink away.

“What exactly did you just do?” Paige asked her great-great nephew.

“I blinked her into Lacey’s dreams or at least I hope that’s what I did apparently in this situation we need to be healed from inside the dream.” Drake explained to Paige.

“Is that how Quinn was able to heal you then?” Paige questioned Drake before turning her attention to Quinn. “How did you get into his dream orbing in there isn’t exactly easy?”

“I didn’t,” Quinn admitted to Paige before turning to look at Drake. “I think you pulled me in there somehow.”

“I was to be busy dying to be thinking about pulling anyone into my dreams.” Drake said awkwardly eager to deny Quinn’s theory.

“Actually Drake that makes a lot of sense I mean you literally just blinked Lacey into Pan’s dreams which means deep down you must have confidence in doing it and that’s probably because when you were dying your soul called out for Quinn and blinked him into your dream world.” Paige replied to Drake while defending Quinn’s theory which made Quinn smile from ear to ear as Drake look far from impressed with his great-great aunt.

“I’m off to my father’s dream world.” Drake told them both, eager to change the subject before he blinked away.

“Maybe all hope isn’t lost between you and Drake after all.” Paige admitted to Quinn with a smile on her face.

Lacey blinked into Pan’s bedroom to find Pan lying on the floor her body shaking while blood pour out of her mouth before Lacey knelled over Pan’s body and began healing the love of her life until Pan woke up.

“Please tell me you’re real?” Pan asked Lacey.

“Yes, I’m real.” Lacey replied with a kiss before the two suddenly found themselves sitting on the couch in the living room of Pan’s family home.

“Yep you’re definitely the real deal.” Pan responded with a smile. “You saved me.”

“Well technically Paige saved the day then me, Quinn and eventually Drake assisted so I can’t take all the credit.” Lacey told her girlfriend before Pan planted another kiss on her lips.

“I love you so much Lacey Morgan more than I’ve ever loved anyone.” Pan declared before kissing Lacey once more.

“I love you too Pan Halliwell.” Lacey admitted her love for her charge.

“Marry me?” Pan asked a completely shocked Lacey.

Drake walked into the throne room of the Underworld to see his mother Eve sitting on her throne made of skulls with his father Paul standing beside her.

“Anywhere but here,” Drake shouted while pointing as his mother blinking Eve out of existence before walking towards his father Paul whose eyes were completely jet black. “I don’t get how this is your nightmare.

A doppelganger of Drake suddenly blinked into the phone room with his eyes jet black just like Paul’s.

“Okay now I sort of get it.” Drake said as he realized what his father worst fear was before he charged towards his evil doppelganger and the two Drake’s began fighting each other.

“I don’t know what’s going on!” Paul revealed as he watched two versions of his sons fighting each other.

“None of this is real dad it’s all just a nightmare.” Drake told him before dodging a punch from his evil doppelganger.

Drake headbutted his evil self before kicking him to the ground as he rushed over to Paul grabbing a hold of his father and shaking him.

“Wake the hell up dad!” Drake demanded.

“I don’t know how to.” Paul admitted as Drake’s evil doppelganger rose back on to his feet.

“Fine.” Drake replied before blinking out of his father’s dream world with his father.

“Are you being serious?” Lacey asked Pan following Pan’s proposal as the two remained sitting on the couch within the living room of Pan’s home.

“There’s nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” Pan told her white lighter.

“And that’s all I’ve ever wanted to Pan but my life as I knew it is already over and the rest of your life isn’t the rest of mine.” Lacey explained to her as she stood up from the couch before Quinn orbed into the living room.

“Great everyone’s awake,” Quinn said with a smile before noticing the awkward atmosphere between Pan and Lacey. “Should I come back later?”

“No, we have a demon to vanquish and I for one can’t wait to kill this female Freddy Kruger again.” Pan replied as she too stood up from the couch.

“There’s something you should probably know about Barba that we’ve only recent found out.” Quinn began to explain. “You know how Cindy turned out to be a demon and Drake her had that talk and we fought that was that well Cindy only just so happens to be Barbas’ daughter making her Barba’s sister.”

“Of course, Barba and Cindy would be bloody sisters,” Pan moaned. “I never trusted that Cindy she’s probably in on this too.”

“Well she did say to Drake she had nothing to do with her demonic side so that probably means family members too.” Lacey said to Pan.

“Please she’s clearly been playing us all this time.” Pan snapped at Lacey.

“Did you know your sister was planning to attack us?” Drake asked Cindy as he walked into an empty Devilish Delights to see Cindy stood behind the counter of the bar.

“I may have had a bit of a hunch, but I only worked it out once she started her dream world games with you all and I’d rather not get involved with demonic or witch business.” Cindy admitted as Drake walked over to the counter. “I’ve spent a long time trying to keep a low profile and I don’t want anyone risking that.”

“I get I’m just an employee who you fool around with but if you’re so desperate not to be a demon you should probably start trying to attempt to be more human.” Drake snapped at his boss. “I almost died today my aunt and father almost died today and you could’ve easily prevented all of this.”

“Look I didn’t get to be a centuries old demon without learning to protect myself above all else it’s called survivor instincts and I won’t apologize for not wanting to wind up dead just so you and your newfound family get to live another day.” Cindy snapped back at Drake.

“You told me you disowned your family and started this new life because you didn’t want to be evil any longer and if you truly want to achieve that you need to start caring about people other than yourself.” Drake explained to her.

“Please all humans do is use each other which I’ve got a pretty good handle on I mean I’m using you as well as many others to give me so much needed excitement in a very dull world and you’re using your time with me to try and move on from squirrel boy.” Cindy said with a sense of brutal honesty. “I’m not a threat to you or your family but I’m not an ally either I’m just a girl who doesn’t want to end up dead by getting involved in an eons old battle against good and evil that nobody ever truly wins.”

“Your life is only dull because your too busy hiding from your past life that you can’t appreciate fully what you have now trust me I of all people know what it’s like to be trapped within your past.” Drake admitted to his demonic boss. “If you really want a life, you’re going to need to make friends and who knows maybe one day even fall in love and start a family.”

“Perhaps your right but all that just sounds so bloody awful.” Cindy laughed. “How about I start with a summoning spell for my sister?”

“You know once we summon her, we’re going to vanquish her, again right?” Drake asked her.

“I know and all that means to me is one less family member to worry myself about.” Cindy answered him. “Now do you want the spell or not?”

“Demon of fears I summon thee, demon of fears come to me!” Drake chanted as he, Pan and Paul stood behind the book of shadows in the attic of their home.

“Well that was short and sweet.” Pan said as Barba appeared within in a series of orbs before being instantly locked into a crystal cage with white crystals trapping the demon of fear into a circle.

“I guess short and sweet works perfectly.” Paul replied as Barba attempting to break out the cage only to be viciously shocked causing the demon to fall to her knees in pain.

“How did you know how to summon me?” Barba screamed at the charmed ones.

“Turns out you have a sister whose slightly more of a fan of us than she is of you.” Pan revealed the female demon.

“That devious little bitch!” Barba said furiously as she rose back to her feet.

“Demon that haunts our fears no more will you exist anymore. I call upon the ancient powers to help us vanquish this demon within these hours.” Paul chanted eagerly. “Demon of fears be gone!”

“Demon of fears be gone!” Pan and Drake repeated as Barba burst into flames before exploding for the second time.

“Okay so maybe Cindy isn’t as bad as I initially thought.” Pan admitted to Drake and Paul.

Paige orbed into the clouds up above where she had several elders meet her all of them hiding their identities with the elder’s robes as Paige wasted no time in revealing to them the reason behind her arranging this meeting with her fellow elders.

“Today the charmed ones almost died and if it wasn’t for Quinn and Drake’s love for each other that you all want to keep forbidden then the charmed ones would’ve died today what remains of my family would’ve died today.” Paige argued with the other elders. “If it wasn’t for their forbidden feelings for each other Drake never would’ve pulled Quinn into his dreams which resulting in the survival of the charmed ones. You keep these archaic rules because you believe all demons must be evil and yet you allow Drake who is part demon to be a charmed one because we need the charmed ones now more than ever and yet you have the audacity to punish Drake for being exactly what you need him to be! So, don’t you dare stand there and push the same archaic rules that once would’ve seen me forever banished by my family until I myself was needed to also restore the charmed ones. It’s time we started moving with the times before we are left in the past along with our frankly prejudice, outdated and frankly bigoted rules.”

“Don’t tell me you vanquished one sister and now you want to vanquish the other.” Cindy said to Drake as she sat behind her desk in her office at Devilish Delight after Drake walked into her office.

“I’ve known you for a long and I know you’re a selfish bitch at times but considering who your family is you’re definitely not in the same league as them which is meant to be a compliment by the way.” Drake replied to her. “I know there’s some good in you even if it’s not very much and that’s why I would never vanquish you however I do want to help you attempt to be more human.”

“I’d rather be vanquished.” Cindy joked with her employee.

“Listen we’re both demons who have done some fuck up shit and helping you out is me being self-serving and helping myself out too if that helps?” Drake revealed.

“So, we’re both being selfish bitches while attempting to be less evil…I could get behind that.” Cindy agreed.

“However, you’re right about Quinn which means any fun we used to have is officially over at least until I work out what’s going on there if anything is going on there.” Drake admitted to his boss.

“Good because whether I like it or not, I’ve somehow found myself rooting for you and that dopey idiot.” Cindy told Drake. “I think I may even ship it in an incredibly sickening and human sort of way.”

Pan walked into her bedroom to find Lacey stood there waiting for her with tears in her eyes as she held a suitcase in her hand.

“Oh no Lacey please don’t tell me this is what I think it is.” Pan pleaded with her white lighter girlfriend as tears began forming in her own eyes.

“I’m sorry Pan but I just don’t think I can do this right now.” Lacey admitted to her.

“Is this because I proposed because if it’s too soon, we can just go back to pretending it never happened?” Pan cried.

“It’s not about you wanting to spend the rest of your life with me because for a while that’s exactly what I wanted to but then my life came to an end and although nobody knows I died I still do.” Lacey explained herself as she too began to cry. “I love you more than I ever thought possible, but I can’t be with someone knowing one day they will die, and I’ll have to live without them. I’m so sorry but things are too different now I’m a white lighter and I can’t pretend any longer that it’s not.”

“Lacey please don’t leave me I know you have a lot to work out, but I can help you work it all out we can work it all out together.” Pan pleaded as tears continued to fall from her eyes. “Please don’t leave me!”

“I’m sorry Pan.” Lacey apologised before orbing out of Pan’s bedroom leaving Pan alone with her heartbreak and tears as she fell to the floor and sobbed for the woman she loved.

Drake walked into the attic of his home looking around the room cautiously making sure he was alone before his mother Eve appeared into the attic within a burst of flames.

“Why do I have a feeling you had something to do with Barba’s recent return from the grave?” Drake asked his mother.

“In my defense she wasn’t meant to kill you just the other too.” Eve replied to her son.

“This need for you to get me to turn evil is getting really tiresome and this time around you almost got me killed you almost got us all killed.” Drake shouted at her. “Lacey was killed by a demon you no doubt sent too but thankfully Aunt Paige stepped in to make her a white lighter.”

“It was the triad’s decision to kill Lacey I had no part in that I would never have agreed to it I know how much she helped you get through some awful things in your life.” Eve admitted to her son.

“Even if I believe that I don’t believe you had no idea Lacey’s father was killed and replaced by a demon.” Drake argued with his mother.

“Okay that death was on me but I only did that so I could keep a close eye on you growing up all I’ve ever wanted is to be a part of your life.” Eve said honestly.

“Then prove it to me there’s only one way you’ll ever be in my life and that’s if you give up the throne allow us to strip your powers and make you human once and for all.” Drake delivered his ultimatum. “I would say just abdicate the throne, but you’ve shown any power isn’t good for you. So, it’s up to you become human and finally be a part of my life or stay the source and only be in my life until we vanquish you which I promise won’t take us long.”

[kazhan]

Game of Thrones - s07-03.

So Jon actually shows up with five guys to meet the daughter of the man who brunt his grandfather and uncle, when everyone told him it was a bad idea, with the purpose of mining dragonglass.

Well, I do hope you still have that teleportation spell around, because you’ll need it to get all that dragonglass in time, right? Or perhaps he expects Dany will provide the men for that?

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy.

“I’m not a Stark.” Dragon suddenly appears.

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOTH, sooooo smooooooooooth.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand here we go, the so long awaited first meeting between Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons and….

Jon Snow.

The… hum. King in the North.

You know what? That made me laugh like hell, actually, but I think it was more like… nervous laughter? Thank the gods for Davos, that man is gold, I think he’s like the only character I still like on this show, with Theon. When he tries to bond with Missandei? It was so cute and silly, I loved it.

We are now watching the two rulers we’re supposed to root for, because they’re supposed to be the most legitimate, kind and competent ones and they are…. Acting like toddlers? Daenerys is like: “blablabla my birth right” and Jon goes “blablabla white walkers”? Dany expects Jon to bend the knee without knowing anything about her, except the fact that she’s the Mad King’s daughter? And Jon expects Daenerys to help him defeat the White Walkers when they’re supposed to be gone for so long people think they’re legends?  Okay maybe the fact that she has three dragons when they were supposed be extinct should allow her to think that what was supposed to be impossible may be possible, but still. She can’t believe the word of a complete stranger, right?

And then Tyrion asks: “If it doesn’t matter anyway then why don’t you bend the knee?” or something.

MY THOUGHT EXACTLY.

If it’s about not wanting to break the promises Jon made to his subjects, to the Northern Lords, then why don’t he tell her that? “I’m sorry, I’d bend the knee if it meant getting your help against the White Walkers but if I do so, everyone in the North will feel betrayed and I’ll lose my people’s trust, I can’t do that, but if you help me defeat the WW, then the North will see you as a good and rightful ruler and then I may be able to pledge my loyalty to you without losing all my allies.” There. Done. And Daenerys is supposed to be smart and kind, so she WOULD understand that.

But no, it’s probably more interesting to watch them bicker like an old married couple because it’s supposed to build up sexual tension for the Boat Sex™.

Ugh.

Oh, look, Varys the King of Timing shows up to tell Dany that she just lost two allies. Looks like she needs Jon Snow after all.

How convenient.

Tyrion and Jon’s scene on top of that cliff was… sad? Sad because instead of having a meaningful scene between two characters who have a lot in common, between someone who gave an excellent advice to Jon and made him see the world differently and think about a lot of things, they decided to make a joke about who’s the best at brooding.

We’ve sunk this low.

Back to King’s Landing. What more can I say about “Euron Greyjoy” that hasn’t been said already? He’s ridiculous. I feel sorry for that poor actor who has to tell lines like “does she like a finger in the bum?” and pretend it makes him the biggest meanie and scariest man of this season. I feel sorry for Ellaria and her daughters, whose characters were completely destroyed.

I don’t know what we were supposed to feel during that scene between Cersei, Ellaria and her daughter. If we were supposed to feel sorry for Ellaria, you failed. But I truly feel sorry for Indira Varma, because she’s amazing and her reactions could have been heartbreaking. But I just felt like it was fair. Like she was getting what she deserved, for murdering an innocent girl and her lover’s brother. I was on Cersei The Psycho’s side and I really didn’t want to feel like this, but that’s how I felt because of how incompetent D&D were with their dealing with Dorne’s plot.

But of course it didn’t last long, because we get to have a new incestuous sex scene between Cersei and… I don’t know who that man is. Really, I have no idea who he’s supposed to be. This is not Jaime Lannister. This is an empty shell who’s just here to fulfill D&D’s fascination for unhealthy and useless relationships. And it gets worse, because of course she doesn’t care anymore if someone sees them, so the handmaid gets to witness Cersei and Jaime in bed together.

“I’m Queen now.” Right, of course, forgive me, I should have thought of that. No Queen nor King ever were deposed because they weren’t acting like they were expected to.

Let’s go to Hogwarts, for a change of scenery. Sooo, Sam Potter broke the rules and took great risks to cure brave Jorah, so Mester Slughorn-Dumbledore gives ten points to Gryffindor! I knew at this point that Jorah would be cured and that it would be too fast. But that fast? I mean, the Mester told Jorah he had one night to decide if he wanted to kill himself or be sent with the other stone men to die slowly, right? So Sam cured him in ONE night? This is ridiculous.

WINTERFELL. You know what? I was so glad to see Sansa doing such a great job at ruling. Finally, we got to see her, the Queen in the North she should have been. Finally, she proves how smart and efficient she is. And by the gods, how GOOD it felt to see her destroy Littlefinger everytime he tried to speak. Until, of course, he said something that was supposed to be smart and meaningful, making her doubt again. It was so good, why d’you ruin it? Seriously, WHY? We all know at this point that Littlefinger will try to turn Sansa against the other Starks or a part of them, we all know that he’ll probably succeed a bit, or completely fail and then someone will kill him, he’s useless, WHY d’you keep him around?

And once again, it gets worse.

Bran is finally home.

Bran, my sweet summer child, is back to Winterfell.

I should have been in tears. Maybe I have high expectations concerning the Stark children reunions, but I think I’m entitled to have them. All the others are dead. She doesn’t know where Arya is, so she probably thinks she’s dead too. She lost everyone and she gets to have her baby brother back. I saw that on her part.

But what the hell. Did they do. To Bran? Is this their version of a wise boy? This emo creepy thing that don’t even SMILE when he’s finally reunited with his big sister after years?

If they wanted to show us that becoming the Three-eyed-raven (crow) changed Bran, maybe they should have shown it sooner? And that sceneby the weirwood…. Jesus Christ, that scene by the weirwoods!!!! I felt so SICK! I’ve never felt this sick in front of GoT, and god knows we’ve seen a lot of useless and badly written violence in this show, but THIS!!!!!

Her baby brother just deadpans how beautiful the night was when Sansa got raped. How beautiful she was in that dress, the night she got FUCKING RAPED!!!!!

WHY?

WHAT is the meaning of this??? What are you trying to achieve???? Is this supposed to show us that Bran lost a part of his humanity when he became that thing he can’t even EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Well it doesn’t WORK! Because it’s too much, too soon!

And why can’t he explain what it is? Because it’s too complicated for his silly sister who doesn’t know a thing about mystical stuff? Or because D&D actually have NO IDEA what it truly means? I’d bet on the latter…

Now, the… Mh. Battles? Can we even call those things ‘battles’? Tyrion telling what happened ruined it. Casterly Rock looked like shit. I still don’t see the point of taking Casterly Rock, Tyrion said it himself that Cersei expected him to attack the castle, SO WHY D’YOU DO IT???????????? WHAT IS THE POINT?

Oh I know: if Daenerys showed up in King’s Landing, she’d wipe the floor with Cersei’s ass in 3.4 seconds but that can’t happen because we need her to keep the throne and be the evil queen for the whole season so let’s make Tyrion do stupid things instead.

Sure.

Highgarden was as ridiculous as Casterly Rock. Seriously, if you’re going to be lazy about it, why d’you even mention it? Do it completely off screen, have Tyrion make a report to Daenerys about their defeat, have Jaime back to King’s Landing to tell Cersei he defeated the Tyrells, DO NOT bother with these ridiculous castles.

The Tyrell’s sigil is a golden rose, so of course they suck at war and lost their castle in three seconds. I mean, A ROSE!!! They didn’t stand a chance!!!!

Why do people keep warning Jaime about Cersei? I mean, when did he show people (except Brienne in s3  when they were still trying to follow the wonderful character development GRRM gave to Jaime) that he was more than her lap dog and the Kingslayer? At this point, shouldn’t Olenna think that he’s just as crazy as her?

Wait no, I think I know what they’re trying to do. They’re trying to prepare the audience for the moment when Jaime will finally stop following Cersei around (as he should have like…. Two seasons ago?) and probably even betray her. So you’re hinting that even if it makes no sense but you’re not hinting the dehumanization of Bran before he ends up telling his sister how gorgeous she was the night Ramsay raped her?

Wow. Great job.

Olenna dear, can I borrow your cup of poison? I think I’m going to need it.

[yourgodmoments]

Why Would You Need God’s Mercy?

Why? Because no one is above falling down. Everyone sins. (Eccl. 7:20) There are no exceptions - including King David, whom God had called ‘a man after His own heart.’ (1 Sam. 13:14)

God had helped establish David’s throne in Jerusalem, uniting all of Israel under his rule. He covered him with His favor, granting David an eternal dynasty:

…the LORD will make you a house…And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever. 2 Sam. 7:11 & 16. ESV

(There is no physical house or throne that will last forever. God is referring to the eternal kingdom of Christ, whose incarnate body would later come from King David’s lineage.)

The favor of God continued to follow David until one warm spring night when he decided to cool off on the roof of his house. From his vantage point, King David saw a woman bathing on her rooftop nearby. He was smitten. (Note that he was also married at this time.)

The king did a little detective work and found out that the woman’s name was Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah - one of his handpicked soldiers. David suppressed his spiritual self and gave into the flesh. He had Bathsheba brought to him for an adulterous tryst that left her with child. Subsequently, our heretofore virtuous king had Uriah sent to the front lines of a battlefield where his death was all but guaranteed.

When Bathsheba’s prescribed mourning period was over, David took her as wife and she bore him a son. Foolishly, they thought they had pulled one over on everyone. Uh-oh:

But the thing that David had done [with Bathsheba] was evil in the sight of the LORD. 2 Sam. 11:27 AMP

You can’t pull the wool over God’s eyes. He sent His prophet Nathan to King David to deliver His judgment:

“Thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more! Why have you despised the commandment of the LORD to do evil in His sight?’ “ 2 Sam. 12:7 - 9. NKJV

David is standing before his Creator’s representative, accused of adultery and murder - both punishable by death according to Mosaic Law. Yet God exercised His mercy, and through Nathan, laid upon David a lesser sentence, telling him that his house would be troubled for the rest of his days and that his sins (that he had hoped to keep hidden), would be replayed in the public eye.

(Indeed, David’s first child by Bathsheba dies, one of his subsequent sons rapes his half-sister, the half-sister’s brother exacts revenge by killing the perpetrator and goes on to publicly commit adultery with David’s wives and plots a violent coup of the king’s rule but is killed during the attempt.)

David wholeheartedly confesses and repents of his sins and God answers his repentance through Nathan:

“The LORD also has taken away your sin; you shall not die.” 1 Sam. 12:13 NASB

Our God is such a loving and forgiving God. However, though He blots out our sin, we are still left to deal with the consequences caused by them. Sin is so destructive - it hurts God, the victim and the perpetrator. Yet there must be consequences; otherwise, everyone would just cavalierly continue in their sinful ways.

God tells us that sin (disobedience) brings a curse (Dt. 30:19, 20.) that carries the consequences of breakage - in both life and the relationships contained within. Yet praise be to God that He forgives:

…you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love… Neh. 9:17 ESV

Why? Because it is the only way the you can be healed from your sin. If you don’t have faith in God’s forgiveness, you will not forgive yourself. And the subsequent guilt and shame you heap upon yourself causes you to hate that person in the mirror, which severs your love-connection with God.

God loves you so much that He never wants to you to be disconnected from Him, as well as He does not want to be detached from your love:

I, I am he, who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Is. 43:25 ESV

For His sake - so that love circle remains intact. Thus, He guarantees His forgiveness:

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 2 Chr. 7:14 NKJV

And just like King David, we ‘turn from our wicked ways’ through confession and repentance:

If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose]. 1 Jn. 1:9 AMP

God forgives and so should we. We are to model Him, and that includes His mercy. In fact, we must exercise our mercy first, if we hold a grudge against anyone, before we go before our Father to receive His:

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Mt. 6:14, 15. ESV

Forgiveness begins in the mirror, so that we can break down any barriers that we’ve erected between God and ourselves. Furthermore, when we extend that forgiveness outwards (Eph. 4:32), it completes our relationship with God and all others - ultimately completing our relationship with ourselves.

Forgiving is the highest act of giving - where we give our love away, regardless of whether we think the object of our love deserves it or not. After all, who doesn’t deserve love?

Goodnight and God bless.

[born2daddy-blog]

Revelation

I spent a majority of my life walking a path riddled with lust, perversion, illness, wrath, envy, and pride. I’ve committed murder in my heart countless times and I have been less than loving towards others, only doing for them expecting in return, which is deplorable.  It wasn’t until I came to the bitter end of myself disease laden, broken hearted, sick and tired of being sick and tired and having attempted suicide did I finally see the hand of God that was protecting me all that time. I couldn’t imagine it ever getting worse then it did, but God knows how much worse it could have been, and He only allows enough to get the best out of you. Jesus saved me, physically; a year would pass before He would save me spiritually. I spent that year rotting in misery and inner turmoil, wondering why I was spared: upset that I couldn’t take my life and frustrated that I had to go on-I saw no reason to. Then my sister came and ministered a word to me and I received Jesus Christ into my heart. Who I was, was dead and gone and who I really am was born. I’ve resolved to get as close to Jesus as possible; all I can say is, He sure is making my life worthwhile this time around. Despite my pitfalls, I know he has me this time. I can only pray that something similar if not better occurs for you. As I’ve come to know the Lord, He’s proven to be faithful, loving, considerate, strong, inspiring, honorable and fulfilling. And, I would like to share that with you.

May the Lord bless all those who read this. I speak salvation over those who come across the wisdom in this essay. May the scales be removed from your eyes and may they be anointed with eye salve. Lord, reveal the truth and forgive me if the delivery is off. Forgive and cleanse me Lord of any sins iniquities or secret faults. I bind and rebuke any spirits that rise up against this essay and release the Holy Spirit, In the name of Jesus Christ. May the Holy Spirit pick up the fumbles and move despite. You know my heart Lord, do your thing. Thank you for using me, and thank you for saving me. It is in Jesus’ precious Holy name I pray, Amen.

Sometimes, we ought to be like kamikazes in the spirit, as the Lord leads. You waltz in, imperfections and all, although covered by the blood of Christ, post-removal of mote in eye (The King James Bible, Luk. 6:42,) with encouraging force (Php. 1:14 & Joh. 7:38.) As sin begins to surface, and we repent, crucify the flesh and plea the blood of Jesus (Php. 2:12,) a sacrifice befitting the King of Kings (Psa. 51:17,) we are then charged to turn to our brother out of compassion and empathy: Ready, humble, initiating follow-through when down in the trenches and bold, courageous authority when He issues the directive. Upturning tables, exposing lies, seducing spirits and heretics (Joh. 2:15;) presenting the truth as revealed by the Word of God and the Holy Spirit (Joh. 16:13:) albeit through a spirit-war tattered vessel, with such humility it's painstaking and leaves you prostrated in the spirit, bare naked before the throne of God-Oh, what an honor (Psa. 51 & Rev. 3:19…) Where He deems appropriate, all in public so it not only serves as honest and forthright edification and exhortation but, where applicable, an open rebuke of unbelievers and the unlearned as well: truth-By the Sprit and love-By the fruit (1Co. 14:24-25, 1Pe. 3:8 & 1Co. 13:4-8.)

And, boy, do people get offended (Matt. 13:57.) It’s a spirit of a spoiled child, “you’re being mean,” children often retort and before long the infamous, “I hate you,” spews forth (Joh. 3:20.) A child may grow to resent the authority of their parents but they know they must conform for their own benefit; otherwise, they’ve taken a turn for the worse and are headed for self-destruction. I beseech you pray, then, go forth believing and receive! Any opportunity to manipulate to get their way, they’ll take it (Rom. 3:23,) because “…they know not what they do” (Luk. 23:34.) When all is said and done, the parent is still the one with the wisdom to protect that child, in our case our strength to endure comes from the Lord via the seven spirits of God (Php. 4:13 & Isa. 11:2,) and it comes with a responsibility to do the research (Act 17:11,) at the same time we are that child. Completely baffling.

It’s also pertinent to note that you must be consistently calm and collected-Walk in the spirit of Christ, otherwise you lose control of that child because you’ve become a luke-warm hypocrite-walking in a lie. Just like the Pharisees and Sadducees, they resorted to extreme measures out of fear and utter divisiveness. No one likes hypocrites for real, this coming from man. Because you’ve thrown all caution to the wind so will the child in kind. They understand the darkness because they like what they’re doing (Joh. 3:19-21.) That’s why it is very important to ask the Lord to perfect the fruit of the spirit within us (Gal. 5:22-23,) once baptized in the Holy Spirit with fire by the Word of God (Mat. 3:11-12, Rev. 3:18 & Isa. 48:10.) After all, Jesus being the leader that He is, demonstrated this calm, assertive control over His converts with flawless execution. So awesome!

We must be childlike, not childish (Mat. 18:3-4 & 1Co. 13:11.) We make Him a liar when we get all in a hissy fit when asked to forgo our desires for His, because He did everything He said He would do. Fulfilled all the prophecies and gave us the Holy Spirit as a comforter, knowing full well what it’s like to be tempted by everything known to man (Mat. 4 & Heb. 4:15.) He provided (Joh. 6:31, Exo. 16:4, Mat. 14:13-21,) He guided (Exo. 13:21-22,) He comforted (Joh. 20:11-16,) He clothed (Gen. 3:21,) He housed  (Gen. 7:1-4.) He simply deserves the best, period. And, boy, will some of you get resentful , the Lord and I have been working that out the past couple of weeks, it really is a relationship, our earthly ones were just practice for the one we ought to hold with Christ, but WILL, will to obey and conform moment to moment, trial to trial, glory to glory, day by day by day to the image of Jesus Christ, doing that is the way to love Him back (Rom. 12:2.) Hallelujah! Amen! Praise the Lord!

Wake up (Rev 3:14-22,) stay in the race (Heb. 12:1-2,) put your armor on (Eph. 6:11-18,) and fight brothers and sisters (2Th. 4:7-8,) the enemy is prowling (1Pe. 5:8.) Akin to Paul Revere’s famous cry, sans the contempt for the arriving party pertaining to his quote: Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming (Rev. 3:10!) Don’t just look sharp, be even sharper (Rom. 12:1-2 & 2Ti. 2:15.)

It’s about getting back up: being empowered with a choice by the revealed truth inherent in the Word of God (Joh. 1:12.) It’s about the spirit of things, not merely the act but the flow of things and the fruit, or the effect it has on the souls of those around you-We’re curious and emulating creatures whether we want to admit it or not, look at the tabloids and TV shows then look at society (1Co. 8:9.) We’re scared to admit we haven’t the faintest idea sometimes how to do what we need to, so we look for an idol to trust in, false ones at that, because Jesus is the only way to endure to the end: be it an athlete, a movie character, an influential figurehead, false spirituality, traditions, and the list goes on and on (Exo. 32.)

What’s so ironic is that the wild animals have it together, they don’t worry about half the things we do and they naturally know how to employ synergy (Mat. 10:29-31.) Ants are fascinating creatures… Animals are even more obedient than we are, He just tells the fish to jump in the boat and they’re like, “To be eaten by our creator? Sure!” I’m quite certain the devils are laughing at us. We’re the only ones that seem to not get it, even they know what’s on the up and up, they were former angels after all (Mat. 8:28-34.) We, unfortunately, became corrupted by sin, but thank God for His redeeming, reconciliatory, restoring, sanctifying, purifying, and that list goes on too, work of Jesus Christ at the cross. It’s great to know, that He completely covered everything, He’s so thorough that way.

We are not here for ourselves, we’re here for others (Joh. 13:35.) We must be held accountable with our imbued authority and be responsible with our choices, actions, and speech-conforming to the image of the Almighty God as presented by the Bible and the Spirit of Revelation.

For those of you, who have not received Christ into your heart I encourage you to begin as soon as possible. There isn’t much time left on the clock, and He is indeed thorough, so trust that everyone will have a chance even if He has to send a tree to speak to a suffering girl in the middle of the Amazon, He can and He will. This is another opportunity for some, a first for others, to receive the gift of eternal life. We all know we have the ability to make choices; my job is to simply present to you a choice. You can choose to be separated from Jesus for all eternity in Hell or you can choose to be with Him. He absolutely will not accept our sinful selves as we stand, without His cleansing blood, in His presence. And He doesn’t deserve to compromise on that because He is perfection. Come as you are to Jesus now and He will make you presentable. Wipe your tears, set your broken bones, and dress your spiritual battle wounds. Besides, He loved us so much, knowing how the enemy defiled us, came down to earth wrapped himself in human flesh to walk among us and died on the cross in place of our sins, the only one to ever resurrect himself conquering death to prove to us He is God-Fulfilling prophecy once more. Jesus loves you and He’s waiting for you to want to love Him back, like a gentleman and commendable groom would. You are part of the bride of Christ, and this is the marriage proposal.

If you’ve already received him in your heart, and you’re stuck in a spiritual battle you think you can’t win. I encourage you to repent of any sin you’ve neglected to confess to and any sin unawares. Then ask the Lord to baptize you in the Holy Ghost with fire so you can be comforted during your walk with Christ. It really is a straight and narrow path and only few will make it. Pray for those who are struggling.

If you’ve received the Lord in your heart and have been baptized in the Holy Spirit with fire, I encourage you to set some time aside if you haven’t already and talk to Jesus, just you and Him, no interruptions, no cell phone, TV, dog, no distractions, just you the Bible and God. As you begin to read pay attention to the images that come to mind and write down any questions, He will answer them by various means, just keep them you’ll be surprised when he gives you the answer, half the time you forgot about the question, I had to learn that the hard way. If you have anything pressing stop and just tell Him, then pick up where you left off. Perhaps he’ll begin to tickle you like he has me. But everyone has their special thing. I will be praying that the Lord honors this and really does a mighty movement for you. Times are getting tougher and we all need to stick together. Pray for those who receive salvation as a result of reading this essay, Pray for those who are struggling with their faith and pray for the brethren undergoing persecution. Pray that the body of Christ gets hotter and hotter for Jesus. And most importantly, give glory to the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I encourage all of you to connect and fellowship with me, for prayer, testimony, encouragement, and an ear to listen, a friend. Lord willing, I will be ordering a case of Bibles for those who do not have and to pass out. May God bless you all and keep you.

A fellow unprofitable servant doing my duty in Christ

[tlou4500-blog-blog]

Growing through temptation

First off, I want to thank everyone in my life who believes in God and is quick to encourage me. I love encouraging, and getting the gold out of people! That being said, I’m writing this because growing up in church, it has become easy to recognize the good.  It is Always easier to rest on the laurels of yesterday, than it is to pioneer a new venture today. 

Temptation is something I had a twisted understanding off, for a very long time. Until recently I didn’t know the difference between sin, and temptation. I had heard several sermons, read books but never experienced the ‘aha’ moment off actually seeing play out in my life. Here is what I learned. 4 points. 

1. Temptation is a two way street- When I was tempted in the past I would write it off and say, well it’s God’s plan for me to be tempted, and maybe even his plan for me to fall in to sin so I can have greater dependence on him. That paradigm is so twisted!! temptation is a stepping stone or a stumbling block. Satan hates those who believe the gospel truly. His main tool against those people is temptation, to pin our thoughts, desires, and natures against us. Being a two way street, God also, allows temptation to grow us and ripen us. If you are going through a season of being tempted and maybe falling in to sin, hold fast and be strong you are just ripening! So if temptation for believers means to grow more like God we have to understand the character of Jesus. 

One of the most descriptive verses of the character of Jesus is not about the Jesus himself, rarely in the gospels do we see Jesus described at all. We are told what he did. Not who he was or what kind of guy he was, that is why he gave us the holy spirit so we could know him today, right now! He made clear who was, In the Garden and in the temple reading the scrolls he said, I AM. When the holy spirit controls you it will produce this fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness. The fruit’s are not microwaved, they are a slow cooked thanksgiving dinner, and each of them in their own plays a part in the meal, and thanksgiving wouldn’t be the same without turkey, ham, or cranberry sauce.... (patience)..... jokes. In other words the Holy Spirit is all of these and is love so when we have the holy spirit working in us, we posses all of these. Going with the same analogy they aren’t cooked all at once, or the kitchen (us) would implode. This passage from Rick Warren blew my mind but it is SO SIMPLE! The Gospel is simple!  God develops the fruit of the spirit by allowing you to experience circumstances in which you are tempted to do, the exact opposite.  For example I know some people who have come out of seasons of sorrow, self defeat, I am one of them, to experience joy!  peace develops by allowing seasons of chaos in our lives. Patience usually comes out of a season where we blew a short gasket. Integrity is built from seasons of lying, humility grows out of seasons when we are full of pride only to have it leveled. Every single time you defeat temptation, you grow closer to being like Jesus. 

2. Satan is entirely predictable. He has used the same process since creation. Paul even says. “we are very familiar with his evil schemes” Satan tempts in four steps. Desire Doubt Deception Disobedience. 

-He identifies a desire- It may be sinful, getting revenge, plotting, manipulation. Or he may use good desires, the desire to be loved, to love, to be valued. Satan starts with a thought, that you give in to evil or that you fulfil a legit desire the wrong way. The second one is especially true for me. He will make them seem like shortcuts, Shortcuts to something like love or value is often temptation. The whispers off, “you deserve it” or “Get it now while you can!” “It’ll be exciting... you need this to comfort you, you need to feel better now”  In my imagination I think of temptation as like invisible, plates of sin surrounding me. Temptation never starts outside of us it starts within us. The book of James especially ch. 1 is a straight up gps for how this works, James says, “We are dragged away and enticed by our own desires. There's a whole of army evil desires within you.’ So rid yourself of the internal desire, and the temptation can not attract you. Christ made it pretty clear if you right eye causes you to sin cut it out! If your computer is leading you astray, take practical steps. Leave it in a backpack, leave it another room. If your phone is distracting you from God turn it off for as long as you can. If you are tempted to be lazy, challenge yourself to workout everyday, make your bed in the morning so you don’t crawl back in to it! (that’s what I do ;) 

-Doubt- Satan tries to get you to doubt what God said about the sin, “is it really wrong?... Surely he just meant that for people who aren’t like you... Doesn’t God want you to be happy? The word says straight up watch out! Don’t let evil thoughts or doubts make any of turn from the living God. 

-Deception- Satan CAN’T tell the truth. Everything he says or whispers is never true, or half true, (deception). things like, “you are special... It will make you wiser... you won’t die....you can get away with it!... ITS ONLY A LITTLE SIN”  Get behind me! That last one has led me astray many times. only a little sin. That’s like saying “I’m only a little bit pregnant” eventually it will show. 

-Disobedience- The action, you finally act on the process above. You grab the cookie out of the jar instead of just thinking about it and standing in the kitchen. (Patrick Peyton). What began as an idea, turns in to behavior. People who study the law of attraction know how satan and God work and give us insights without even claiming to be disciples! They say things like, “We are what we think... Thoughts become things” It’s true and it can all be brought back to the word. 

3. DON’T BE INTIMIDATED- A lot of Christians get frightened at temptation, avoidance becomes the operation for all of life, so you won’t get tempted by something. You will never outgrow temptation Paul refers to a thorn in his side all throughout his letters, I will be tempted, it’s never a matter of if, but when.  With this recognize patterns of your past. When were you tempted? Where were you? These situations are especially places of weakness to fall in to sin. If you don’t recognize them, satan does. Being honest I get tempted when I don’t recognize my feelings, boredom, stress, anger, breeds a ground for temptation for me, so when these feelings arise I don’t flip out... I’m learning to say oh angry thought, let’s take care of that. God help me with this anger, I am your vessel and do not want to display anger. God rid me off thoughts of loneliness, let’s have fun just me and you God. Paul said “Don’t give the devil a chance!”

4. Request God’s help!!-  Send up the S.O.S. so many times I’ve said well I’m being tempted it’s too late instead of praying, victimizing myself before anything has even occurred, I put my amor on today lucifer so good luck. The bible garuntees that our  cry for help WILL be heard. In all honesty, it is hard for us to ask for help. That’s why temptation is easily fallen in to because satan knows most of us have this pride, “he won’t ask for help... he won’t ask a brother for help or guidance..” Or we are embarrased to admit we are being tempted. NO one is perfect not a ONE! Embarrased to go to God? Approach the throne with confidence, where there is GRACE! TO HELP US JUST WHEN WE NEED IT.  “Grace is God’s unmerited supply of wisdom for the need of the moment.” patrick payton. 

Every temptation is an opportunity to please God and do good. Temptations keep us dependant on God! Roots of a tree grow stronger when wind blows against it? When you stumble and you will, it is not a death blow. Remember a reward awaits for those who pass the test. “ When people are tempted and still continue strong, they should be HAPPY. After they have proved their faith, God will reward them with life forever.” 

MY TEMPTATIONS HAVE BEEN MY MASTERS IN DIVINITY

Matin Luther.