#Princeharryfanfic

[ourplaceinthecosmosphff]

Chapter 28. Switzerland

‘I did think, let’s go about this slowly. This is important. This should take some really deep thought. We should take small thoughtful steps.

But, bless us, we didn’t.’ -Mary Oliver

“By the way…” I added, breathlessly, as he kissed my neck, “I’m falling in love with you, too.”

I felt his hand aggressively grip my tight in response as he pulled my hip into him. He released a heavy breath on my neck and paused, leaning back slightly to look at me.

“You are?”

I smiled. “Where’s all that confidence, Your Royal Highness?”

He grinned and leaned forward grabbing my lower lip with his teeth on a gentle nip. I tightened the hold of my legs around his.

He kissed me again, this time his hands slid up to my jaw, steadying my face in place so his mouth could frame mine strongly, his tongue and mine dancing together as our hips moved as one trying to get impossibly closer.

He nibbled my lower lip again, breaking the kiss; I moaned a complaint, feeling his lips grin against my neck. His hands hovered hungrily around my back, then slid down to pull down the fabric on my waist. He leaned back, looking at my body.

"I don't know how to get you out of this thing." He complained, making me chuckle.

I pushed him back so I could jump down from the table. I gave my back to him, moving my hair to the front, pointing to the flap of fabric on my back hiding a zipper. He undid it quickly, pulling my jumpsuit down to my feet in one swift, fast move. He stayed crouched down as he did, his hands held onto my legs and he slid them up slowly, making my entire body shiver.

When they reached my hips, I felt his mouth on my ass, biting it gently as his hands slid to my crotch as he stood up again, his lips grazing my back slowly as he did. One of his hands made their way up across my stomach, touching my belly button up until the area under my breasts, as the other slid further down between my legs, over my underwear.

Breathless, I pressed my hips back into him just as his hand grabbed a firm hold over my breast; I let my head fall back on his shoulder, bringing one arm up to grab a fistful of his hair.  While his other hand rubbed strongly against my cunt, over my underwear, his lips traced down my neck. The feeling of his stubble against my skin, his hands over my body in the exact way I had fantasized about so many times, it made my legs tremble, my breath weaken, my clit pulsate in anticipation.

"Fuck..." I moaned out, weakly.

"Language, Mary." He whispered, his lips on my ear.

"Fuck you." I replied, smiling, tugging on his hair.

In one fast move, his hands left my body to untie my bra; he  gently spun me around to face him, now almost completely naked.

Self-conscious, I pulled him closer again, but he held my arms in place. Stepping back, he looked at me, an appreciative, seductive grin in his lips as his eyes hovered down my chest, my stomach, my hips, my legs...

"What?!" I asked, impatiently, feeling my cheeks blush as I rubbed my thighs together; every inch of my body already missing his hands.

"I just want to look at you." He said, hands running down his hair.

"This is embarrassing." I complained, shyly, crossing my arms over my chest.

He chuckled, biting his lower lip. He took a step closer, and pulled my arms down, still watching every piece of my skin.

"Why?"

"Because!" I laughed, nervously. "I'm naked! And you're watching me."

"I'm not watching you." He corrected, his hands lightly grazing my body as they found their way to my breasts. "I'm worshiping you..." His eyes found mine, serious, just as his fingers gently pinched my nipples. "The way you deserve."

His hands held onto my chest, firmly, and his thumbs started rubbing circles around my nipples, just as his mouth found mine again. He started slowly, gently, but it was exactly enough to send waves of inciting pleasure down my body. I pushed my body against his, and his leg flexed between mine. I mounted one leg over his hip, feeling his thigh under my cunt.

"This isn't fair." I complained, my arms around his neck, still covered by his shirt. It was unbuttoned, so just as he leaned back I pulled it down, and he shrugged it off to the floor.

I grabbed a hold of his muscly shoulders, sliding my hands down slowly down his torso. I leaned closer, laying a gentle kiss over his skin, covering his chest with kisses until I reached his neck. His hand grabbed a firm hold onto my hair, the other traveled lightly down my body to squeeze my hips closer to his. His hands were too big on me, nearly covering the whole of my back.

I kissed his neck allowing my hands to get to know his body; I had spent so long wondering what he would feel like under my palms, it felt exhilarating to be able to freely touch him, so I did. I touched every inch of his chest, his stomach, the curve of his hips, until my hands found his belt, which I unceremoniously undid.

"Curious?" He asked, his voice still as teasing, but now strained, lower.

I answered by letting his pants fall to the floor, reaching down to allow my hand to hover over his bulge. He bit my neck in response, a little stronger, a puff of heavy breath down my skin. I moved my hand down, gulping at the touch of him, thick, strong, hard, on my hand. He kissed my clavicle, panting. I moved my hand up, firmly; I felt him getting harder as I did, but just as I was moving my hand more firmly around him, his hands gripped my thighs again and pulled me up to the table, making me lose my reach.

His hands slid down my legs to my knees, pulling them apart slowly, around his waist, dragging me closer as he pressed his hips against mine. He reached behind me and pushed whatever was on the table to the floor, leaning down to lay me against it, his mouth trailing kisses down my neck, my clavicle, and my breasts, kissing one while one of his hands gripped the other. I squeezed my legs tighter around him, enjoying the feeling of his hardened dick against me.

His hands grabbed hold of my hips, strongly pushing them down in place.

"So impatient..." He teased.

"Shut up." I complained, weakly, trying to sit up to kiss him, but before I could his hands held onto my neck, pulling my mouth onto his, lowering me down to the table again.

I felt one of his arms slide down my body, over my stomach, reaching down below my navel and over my lace panties to hover my labia; his hand was so big it covered my whole pussy as he pressed more firmly against it.

"Is this okay?" He asked, whispery, looking up from my breasts.

I smiled in response and he pressed his middle finger down, starting to move up and down slowly, making strained moans leave me against my will.

"Good?" He asked, now sounding definitely teasing. I pulled him more firmly against me with my legs in response.

"God--" I let out, breathless, as his finger found my clit. "There--" I begged.

My back arching, my legs trembling, he reached his other hand over to hold onto my neck, lightly holding it over my throat. He moved my underwear out of the way and fingered me down, feeling just how wet I'd become.

I saw the grin taking over his lips, and pulled him up for a kiss before he could tease me about it, biting his lips mercilessly the more his fingers moved in me. I came with a spasm of pleasure with his mouth to my neck, sweating weakly.

He kissed me again, slowly. His hand between my legs continued to run all over my cunt, now delicately, as if just enjoying the feeling of it.

He leaned back, pulling my lower lip between his. "Can I taste you?"

I nodded, kissing him again, deeper now. I barely knew what he asked; I would have said yes to anything.

He reached down, pulling my panties off. He spread my legs wider, and traced down my body with his lips until they were over my labia; he kissed me slowly, from below to the top, letting his tongue get to know every nook and cranny. When he found my clit again, a moan escaped before I could stop it, it was the only sign he needed. He kept his mouth over it, his tongue circling it, first with kitty licks, then strongly while his finger reached down from below to enter me again, sliding in easily, familiar. He fastened the rhythm and waited until I was moaning breathlessly again before adding one more finger while his tongue continued to add pressure to my center, circling, sucking, until I was thrusting myself into him.

When I looked down, desperately, his eyes found mine, hungry, but I didn't feel the need to look away. I felt an overwhelming wave wash over me, taking over control of my every movement while I came with a strained, high pitched moan; his face between my shaky, weakened legs.

Panting, I fell back down on the table, eyes closed as I breathed quickly, wishing time would stop. He gave my navel one final kiss before making his way up my body. He laid his head between my breasts as his hands found mine, intertwining our fingers.

When I felt I might not fall back down again, I sat us both up slowly. I felt myself dripping over his table, and his hard cock between my legs, but his eyes were all I saw while he rested his forehead on mine.

We remained like this for longer than felt appropriate, just nuzzling our noses together as our breaths evened out together.

“Truth or dare?” He asked, eventually.

I smiled; “If I say truth, will you ask me to rate your performance?”

He chuckled, his cheeks reddening slightly. “No.”

“Okay. Truth.”

He let out a deep breath. “Did you mean it?”

For a moment I thought he was asking if I was faking it, but his expression was too serious.

“When you said you were falling in love with me.” He explained, whispery, probably finding the confusion on my face. “You know you don’t have to say it just because I did?”

I smiled, and leaned over to lay a quick kiss over his lips.

“I meant it.”

‘Falling in love’ already felt like the wrong way to put it; there was no falling to it. I was there, I fell. But it felt like too much to say it then.

He smiled, nodded, and gulped. His smile disappeared.

“What are we going to do?” He asked, softly, worried.

I heaved a sigh, and looked at the clock over his kitchen window, doing the math in my head.

“I have… two hours before I need to leave for the train station for the last train to Savoy.” I told him. “So, I guess we have two hours to figure that out.”

I traced the spiderman band aid on his cheek lightly; his arms wrapped around my waist, and he pulled my off the table, mounting me to his lap.

“Okay.” He said. “We can do a lot in two hours.”

Smiling, he walked us upstairs to his room. We could maybe fit a whole universe in two hours.

--- ---- ---

I had never been touched like this: sexually, yet in a non-sexual way. Harry had his hand over my breast, caressing it lightly, innocently, but purposefully, analyzing every inch as if trying to commit it to memory.

“Does this feel good?” He asked, causally, if slightly concerned.

“Yes.” I said, smiling, eyes closed, nearly falling asleep.

He leaned closer and raised himself on his elbow to lay a quick kiss on the side of my breast. He left another over my tattoo, on my shoulder, and then nuzzled my hair with his nose as he settled back down on the pillow.

I had a little less than one hour before I had to get up and get dressed, but I didn’t want to move. My legs still felt too dangerously numb, and the feeling of his embrace behind me under the covers felt so perfect the smallest movement felt like it might destroy it.

“Truth or dare?” He asked, whispery, tracing my neck with his lips.

I smiled. “Truth.” I said, just because the idea of having to move for a dare was too much.

He raised himself on his arm again, resting his chin on his hand to look at me. “…Did–did you ever think about me?”

I looked back at him, amused. “Of course. It’s kind of what you do when falling for someone.”

“What I mean is,” he corrected himself, with an eyeroll, “did you ever think about fucking me?”

To this, I bit my lower lip and stared back at the wall. Harry leaned down, kissing my arm.

“Did you ever, you know… at night… think about what it would be like?”

His hand squeezed my breast a little tighter.

“Yes.” I confessed.

He leaned closer to whisper in my ear.

“Really?” He asked, gently biting my earlobe. “What did you think about?”

I turned to him, grinning.

“No follow up questions, Your Royal Highness.”

He smiled, sighing.

“Truth or dare?” I asked.

“Why do I feel like you just want to get back at me for this question?”

“Pick truth and find out.” I shrugged.

“Truth.”

“…did you?” I asked, simply.

He gave me a long look, still smiling, and then leaned down to touch my lips with his.

“Almost every day.” He said. “When you stayed here, every night I wanted nothing more than to just turn you around and kiss you.”

I smiled. “You were very restrained.”

“Thank you.” He said, seriously, sounding touched, making me laugh.

“You only told me to dump my boyfriend once.”

He grinned. “And I didn’t even call him a fucker like I wanted to.”

I giggled; he leaned down again, capturing my mouth with his.

“I thought about this a lot.” I confessed, just because. Touching my nose to his, I folded one leg up to rest between both of his. “I couldn’t help it. But it always made me sad.”

He touched my forehead with his lips, and stayed there.

“I don’t want this to be it.” He said, still to my forehead.

“Me neither.” I whispered.

“…how much do your parents hate me? Just, you know, ballpark?”

“They–they don’t hate you exactly.” I said, unsure. “They just hate everything you represent.”

“Well, that’s much better.” He teased, making me smile.

I leaned back, looking up at him.

“It’s not about you personally.”

“I did yell at your mother and went against them all when I let you stay here.”

I sighed. “Yeah, that–that was good at the time, but unproductive now.”

He stretched his arm back under his head and looked up at the ceiling.

“What do we do?” He asked, pensive.

I took in a deep breath and pushed myself upwards, kicking off the covers as I got up.

“Hey!” He protested. “Come back, I only have you for another hour.”

“I think better on my feet.” I explained.

I opened his wardrobe and opened a drawer.

“Can I borrow a shirt?”

“Okay, first you get out of bed, now you want to get dressed? What have I done?” He complained; I smiled, picked the first, simple, cotton shirt I could find, and put it on.

“Nevermind, you still look hot.” He sighed, almost sounding disappointed.

“Focus!” I demanded. “Let’s think. What can we do?”

He sighed, and sat up against the headboard.

“Well. What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, what is the problem here? Why can’t we just date?”

“Well, I’m the first in line for the throne of Savoy.” I started. “You’re the fourth in line for the throne of the United Kingdom.”

“And why is that a problem?” He asked, didactic.

“Because the press needs profit, and they achieve it by writing stories about us, real or not, and one of their favorite topics to speculate about is who we will marry one day, so as soon as they know we are together, they’re going to start running every possibility about our future–”

“Exactly.” He interrupted. “The whole problem about us being together is what it could mean for the future.”

“…okay?” I nodded. “So, maybe we should talk about the–future?”

I winced; our relationship was 50 minutes old and we were talking about the future? We were doomed.

“No, wait–that’s not–I don’t mean–”

“No, I–I get it.”

“So…?”

He sighed, and sat up, running both hands up his face and through his hair.

“This is hard.”

“Just–” I started. “What if we just… focused on the present?”

He considered this. “What do you mean?”

I perked up, “Well, what if we just refuse to let this affect us? We just… we pretend we’re normal people. Normal people who just started dating and who don’t need to talk about the future yet, because it’s too soon.”

He nodded. “That sounds good… except–”

“Yes?”

“We’re not the problem.” He argued. “We can do that, sure. I’m sure we can. But, what about the press? Nobody controls them. Also, and I feel like that’s an even worse problem, what about our families? They would never buy into ‘we are focusing on the now’.”

“There’s a simple solution for that… We don’t tell them.” I shrugged. “We don’t have to. We know how they feel. Why should we invite them into our…?” I struggled against the word ‘relationship’. “Stuff?”

“Because they control our lives?”

“Good point.” I sighed.

“Also, how could we keep this from them? My neighbours are all family members and employees of my grandmother. And you literally live with your parents.”

“Yes, but!” I said, excited, kneeling onto the bed. “We live in different countries! So, we’ll only be able to see each other every other weekend, anyway, if we can get our security to keep their mouths shut, we can meet in secret.”

Silent, he thought about this as his eyes hovered around the room. I waited, tense. It felt like asking too much. I knew I was the problem, my situation was the problem. Had we started dating before Louis died, people would complain, yes, but they wouldn’t have nearly as much to say about it.

“If only we lived a century or half ago.” He said. “Then this would just be considered a ‘good match’.”

I grinned. “I know… It’s bizarre.”

When monarchies had transitioned from being only a symbol, to being a working force for the country, they had realized the need for members to help. After all, with modernization, social media and the 24 hours news cycle, there’s only so much one monarch can do. They eventually need family members to help. So, today, ‘spares’ were no longer seen as trading chips to other kingdoms. They were more needed at home, for support.

If Louis was alive, and I was still a spare myself, we would still have had a few hills to climb, but the idea of our future wouldn’t be a huge unknown: I would move to England, take Harry’s title, and sometimes visit my family. We might even be able to work for both countries.

But now, considering we even made it that far, if Harry and I were to marry, he would have to move to Savoy, which would be extremely frowned upon by his family, not only because they would be losing a valuable member of their workforce, but because they already had a history with a family member walking out for love before (Edward VIII, who then became Duke of Windsor). Not only that, the woman he walked out for was also a foreigner. The ripple effect it caused in British history was so big it was still a sensitive subject.

Crucially, the marriage laws for British royalty dictated Harry would lose his titles and place in the line of succession should he marry a catholic. Which I was.

“I forgot about that.” I groaned when Harry reminded me.

“They want to change that law, but even if they do, if we were to get married, wouldn’t the Savoy government expect me to abdicate my position in the British line of succession?”

“I…” I stuttered. “I don’t know.” I did know. And the answer was yes, probably. But the idea would be so utterly destructive for his family I couldn’t bear to say it aloud.

“My grandfather had to, when he married my grandmother.”

“Those were different times.” I argued.

“We both know if there’s one place time doesn’t pass that fast is inside a monarchy.” He smiled, sadly.

In my family, the problem would be Savoy’s historic animosity towards England, Harry not being catholic, his polemic party past, and, of course, the risk that our future children would link us forever to Britain, meaning should some people die, it was likely that in a few years the only descendant to the Savoy throne was a British monarch.

Revolutions had started for less.

I sighed. “It’s too much, isn’t it?”

He looked at me, but averted his eyes soon after.

“…It is.”

I turned around, and sat facing the window, giving my back to him, pulling my legs up to my chest.

“Maybe we should cut our losses, then.”

He didn’t say anything. I bit my lower lip and tightened my arms around my knees, to try and stop myself from saying anything else.

I knew what he must be feeling, I knew because I used to be a spare. I knew how hard it was to be in that constant limbo of not being important enough, but not being normal, either. And if I knew dating someone would make my life even more of a public debate, I would run away screaming in the other direction.

He was falling for me, sure. But he wasn’t stupid. If we started a relationship and things went south, he would be the one to draw the short straw. Not only was he not an heir, he had a past that people would point to when trying to find the guilty party of our doom. My people would have my back in the press and pull out all the stops in order to try and save my reputation and image. His might not do the same.

“Is that what you want to do?” he asked, calmly.

I didn’t just feel guilty; I felt very mindful of the fact that on top of everything else, the fact that I outranked him was also a problem. Theoretically, he should follow my orders because my word was worth more than his; or at least, it’s how it would be for people who cared about that stuff. I didn’t think he did, but still, it felt wrong to tell him something that could affect his own choices.

To put it simply: I didn’t want to influence him into getting into something that might hurt him in the long run.

“I want…” I started, “I just want you to be happy.”

I heard him sigh, heavily, and get out of bed. I looked back to see him putting on his boxer briefs.

He scratched the back of his head with a hand, the other on his hips, and looked at me.

“I will be happy, whatever we decide. But right now I want to know what you want.”

“Well, what you want matters, too.”

“I didn’t say it didn’t, but I–”

“I asked first.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does–”

“This is not truth or dare!” He said, loudly, exasperated, making me flinch.

I avoided his eyes, self-conscious.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, calmer.

He walked over to me, and sat by my side in bed, facing the window.

“Why can’t you just tell me what you want?” He asked, strained. “You won’t upset me. I get it, so much has happened in so little time for you.” He gulped, winping his palms on the sheets. “I don’t mean to… pressure you into anything. I understand if a serious relationship would be too much right now, we can take it slow if you want, keep it casual, you know? I don’t... I don’t need to be your boyfriend or anything.”

I shook my head, confused.

“I don’t–that’s not–You don’t have to worry about that.”

“But I do.” He insisted. “I don’t want to be one more thing you have to stress over.”

I sighed, heart aching in affection for him. I lowered my legs, and turned to the side to face him.

“Harry…” I started, smiling, “Okay. If this will work, I think we need to always be honest and open with each other… So, in honor of that…” I took in a deep breath, bracing myself. “I want you to be my boyfriend.” I immediately felt a little juvenile for it, especially as he took a while to respond. Then he looked at me, surprised. “Really?” I smiled, embarrassed. “Yes!”

He smiled to the floor, blushing, and threw an arm around me to pull me closer into a tight hug, before laying back down in the bed, pulling me with him. He turned to the side to face me, touching his nose to mine, still smiling.

“You’re blushing.” I teased, whispery.

“Shut up.” I laughed. “So, you’re my girlfriend now...” He added, in a teasing voice.

I sighed, happily. “I am.”

“So stupid... What are we, in elementary school?”

“Oh, okay, if you don’t want to--” I said, getting up, but he held me down. I laughed, letting him.

“And… all the other stuff? We never got to a solution.”

I gulped, realizing he was right. I got so caught up on my own fears that I forgot to think of a solution for the actual problem, which was, of course, that it didn’t matter if we could have an actual, serious relationship, where we were responsible and considerate of the issues we faced, but just… ignored them.

“What if we just try to focus on the present?” I asked, tentative. “A serious, real relationship, but… We let them worry about it if they want. We live each day at a time. Nothing else.”

“And you think they’ll let us?” He asked. “I don’t know how your family works, but mine will need to know what I plan to do about all of those issues.”

“Then we insist. We tell them, listen, we’re Switzerland.”

“Switzerland?” He asked, amused.

“Swiss neutrality,” I started, “is one of the main principles of Switzerland's foreign policy.”

“Tell me more, counselor.” He teased.

I turned to lay on my back to better look at him, going through my brain for all the info I remembered from my political science classes so I could better defend my metaphor.

“Their policy states that Switzerland is not to be involved in armed or political conflicts between other states, but they have armed neutrality! Which means it is self-imposed, permanent, and armed.”

“Armed? I thought you said they were neutral.” He asked, sounding almost bored.

I got on my knees, but leaned down to him. “Armed neutrality means they have no alliance with either side in a war, but will defend themselves if necessary.” I smiled, throwing one leg up to straddle him. His hands slid up my thighs. “I think that should be our official policy.”

“Oh, yeah?” He asked, grinning. He thrust his hips slightly higher, adjusting himself under me. By coincidence or design, his dick was now perfectly aligned under me.

“Did you even pay attention to what I said?”

He sat up, pulling me closer by the back of my knees. I rested my hands on his shoulders.

“Yes. I like the part about defending ourselves.” He kissed the tip of my nose, lightly. “So we stay neutral to everyone else, and whatever they have to say about us, but defend ourselves if necessary.”

“And it will be.” I reminded.

“I’m in if you are.” He said. “You’re the heir. You’re the one who’ll be expected to pick a side.”

“And you’re the man.” I shrugged. “Your family will never be okay with the idea of you giving up power for a lowly woman.”

He laughed, “Well, they’ll have to learn not to underestimate you.”

I grinned, biting my lower lip. His arms wrapped around me.

“Even if we can stay neutral, our families won’t. The press won’t. They’ll pull us in different directions with all they’ve got.”

I nodded, slowly. I held my hands to his jaw, still filled with affection at the bandaid I had put in his cheek only that night.

“So we don’t tell them.”

His brows shot up in surprise. “Are you suggesting we keep our relationship a secret? Mary, do you have an invisibility cape? How come you never told me?”

“Ha-ha.”

“Seriously, there’s no way to keep something like this a secret. We take security everywhere we go. You live with your parents. Half of my family are my neighbors.”

“Okay, so, we have some kinks to figure out.” I shrugged. “But we live in different countries, so we can meet in the middle, somewhere they won’t suspect. We just need to make sure we’ve got our security on our side…” I smiled, and leaned closer to kiss him.

He allowed me to part his lips and deepen the kiss, slow, agonizingly and frustratingly slow. He groaned, his hands finding my backside, and pulled into him. Then I pulled on his lower lip, breaking the kiss.

“Truth or dare?” He grinned, eyes still closed. “Truth.” “Wrong, pick again.” He laughed. “Dare?” “…I dare you to be my secret boyfriend, Your Royal Highness.” Still smiling, he leaned in again and kissed me. “Done.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: :)))))))))))))))) ]

[telltheworld-phff]

Part II, chapter I: Althorp

Pain.

That’s all she could feel.

The sort of pain that would irradiate from her body and made her wonder if anyone could see it, as its force was undeniably present.

She felt nothing but pain.

She could deal with the soreness on her body. It felt as if she had run a marathon.

She could also deal with the heavy cramps that she was feeling ever since she woke up. As if she needed any reminder of what had just happened. She hadn’t asked for any medication to relieve her pain because she wanted to feel it. She wanted to be punished for what she had done.

What she couldn’t deal with was the emotional pain that had destroyed her and its relentless waves that kept shaking every single thought that crossed her mind. The waves were like a tsunami that with its violence and fast approach took away and destroyed everything it touched and she was drowning. Completely and willingly.

The waves made her remember everything that had happened a few hours ago.

The waves brought an emotional pain that shattered her dreams and hopes and wishes. Mocking her, showing the failure she had been. This earth-shattering feeling turned her world, mind, life and body upside down. She didn’t even have more tears to cry as they had dried somewhere in the middle of the night.

She was alone as she had wanted to be and surrounded only by sounds. Sound of the machine she was hooked to, sounds of the clock that showed her that time was going to pass whether or not she was ready for it, the sirens of the ambulances coming in and out of the emergency ward and the cries of a new baby that was born just down the corridor from her room. She longed to have had the chance to at least listen to her child cry. To have carried her pregnancy to term and to taste the happiness this new mom was probably feeling at the moment. And yet, here she was. Empty-handed, alone, bleeding and miserable.

She wanted to get up and run, possibly hide from everyone. Should she had the strength for it, she would have. But she could barely move a finger, let alone run.

She placed one hand on her belly. The same one she caressed the growing baby just the morning before, praying with all her might and force that everyone was lying to her. Wishing this all was a very bad joke, a tasteless prank. Everyone must be wrong.

But deep inside she knew it was true.

She knew that her body had been giving signs and she didn’t pay attention to it. She worked and travelled as if she wasn’t growing a tiny human inside her and now, funny enough, she really wasn’t anymore.

Maybe it would be for the best? If she couldn’t take proper care of a baby inside her, what would happen once the baby was born?

She would be better off alone and childless as she couldn’t bear to be responsible for anyone else’s death. She took a deep breath and felt every muscle hurt, her head was about to explode. She knew she couldn't speak as she had yelled until she scarred all of her vocal cords.

Her hands and arms were purple and swollen as she had tried to unhook herself from the blood transfer bag a nurse had hooked her to close to 2 in the morning. Her hair was in knots and her hospital gown was still bloodied.

Another proof of her failure and another brutal reminder that she had just lost her child.

She had lost her everything. She had lost her will to live because nothing else made sense anymore. Her unborn baby had become the centre of her life, her strength, her reason and her motivation.

Well, not really – her malicious mind reminded her, - if this baby was that important you wouldn’t have let it die. You didn’t even fight for it, you simply passed out and almost bled yourself to death.

Pathetic.

She would never know if the baby was a boy or a girl. She would never know if he or she would have her green eyes or Harry’s blue. If its complexion would be pale as Harry, chocolate as hers or a nice mix in the between. She didn’t know if he or she would be ginger. Could she even have a ginger baby?

She wouldn’t know its face. If it would have dimples, curly or straight hair. If it’d have the unmistakable Windsor genes or it’d be a Nogueira through and through. She wouldn’t know how is it like to feel the baby moving inside her. She wouldn’t know how labour would be or if she’d chicken out from the pain and ask for a c-section straight away. She wouldn’t know if she’d be able to breastfeed – if she’d like it or if she’d prefer to buy formulas.

She wouldn’t make her mum a grandmother.

And she wouldn’t give her man a child. The child he was expecting and dreaming about. The child he had built plans for. The child he was searching for a house to transform into a home for them.

The child he was willing to give up his title for.

Everything she got now was pain and shame and guilt and grief.

Why was it happening to her? Was she that bad of a person that this would be some sort of payback?

What makes you so important that you can’t go through something like this? Her evil-filled mind asked her.

She heard footsteps on the corridor and saw her door opening. Agnes was there, smiling. The pain she felt blinded her from seeing the truth in Agnes’ eyes. She was devastated. She knew that miscarriages were a common thing between women, but she hated every time it happened to one of her patients. With Carol, it seemed she had lost her grandchild such was the esteem she held for the brunette in front of her.

She took a tentative step towards the bed and Carol noticed it was way past nine in the morning. She had been awake the whole night.

“Good morning, Carolina.” Agnes asked, getting her file and reading the notes the other nurses had written. “How are you physically feeling?” she worded her question carefully.

Carol didn’t respond. She kept staring at the clock. Fixated on it. Hearing its tic, toc. It was comforting to know that time wouldn’t wait for her to get her shit together. And time was the only thing that she wanted now.

She would give everything she had for a moment in time to stop before she lost her child. She would give everything to have more time with the baby that even though was unplanned wasn’t not even by a single second unwanted.

She wanted to rewind time and do things differently and save her baby.

She always heard that mothers fight for their children and if need be, even give their lives for them. That was what Carol wanted to do. Be a mother to this child. Give her life in exchange for his or hers. She knew Harry would take good care of their baby even if she wasn’t around.

“Carolina?” Agnes called her, firmer this time. Carol had shut her out and not even remembered that she was in the room. She didn’t blink, she just stared at the damn clock and knew that it was laughing at her expense.

“I need you to please talk to me.” Agnes said, sitting by her side on the bed.

Carol didn’t move. She couldn’t, she was paralysed watching the clock.

“I know what you must be feeling...” Agnes said.

There it was. Pity and sympathy. Two things Carol didn’t need at that moment.

“And I want you to know that I did everything that I could to save your baby.” the doctor said, grabbing one of Carol’s hands gently.

Did she really? Her brain asked.

“I want you to tell me what you want.” Agnes tried again and Carol almost laughed. She wanted her child. Alive and well. There was nothing anyone could possibly give her at the moment that would make her feel better.

“I will give you space, then.” Agnes sighed. “A nurse will come to help you take a shower and change clothes.” she got up and stared at the girl she treated like a daughter. She seemed like a shell of the woman she once was. Staring at the clock and shutting everyone out. Agnes gently left the room and took a deep breath. She could only hope that Carol would bounce back from this. If she kept giving herself into the pain for too long, she wouldn’t make it.

(…)

Harry had spent the night awake. He sat by the window of his living room with a bottle of scotch beside him. He stared at the entrance of his house for the whole night and saw when the sun rose. He had drunk half of the bottle by that time and was irritated that it didn’t give him a buzz nor lessened the pain. He thought about compartmentalising it and go out and about on his day, as he had two engagements to be at but he knew he couldn’t do it. He wanted to feel the pain and go through it while it all was still fresh. If he bottled up everything it was bound to come back exploding in the future. He also knew that Carol wouldn’t forgive him if she saw that he was smiling for the cameras and hugging kids mere hours after theirs had died.

If she speaks to you again. His mind remembered.

He had been hurt by Carol’s outburst the night before. He tried to understand where she was coming from, but he didn’t think that she’d kick him out of the room that way. He had called the hospital and Agnes informed him Carol wasn’t speaking to anyone, or eating. She had tried to rip off the IVs from her arms and hands in the middle of the night.

He took a deep breath and texted Edward to let him know that he wanted all his engagements of that damn week cancelled and rescheduled. He also wanted to reschedule all engagements that had children involved for the upcoming months as farther away as possible. He couldn’t bear to be around children when his hadn’t made it.

Agnes had talked to him after they left Carol’s room and she was confident that Carol’s case fell under the more frequently than expected, she didn’t believe Carol had any sort of condition that would make things harder to have a child in the future. Miscarriage is something very common and sometimes it might be related to other complicating issues, but in other cases, it's simply nature being faithful to its course of only the strongest and most adaptable survives.

Edward replied asking lots of questions as to why those changes were needed and Harry simply ignored him. He wouldn’t come back to work until he felt at least a little bit better.

If you feel better at any point.

He felt like a black cloud was above his head numbing his senses and at the same time swallowing him whole.

He got up and went to his room without really thinking or registering what he was doing. He took a shower, got dressed and dried the tears that kept coming every time he thought about what had happened. He had drunk the night before trying to erase from his mind the scene of the woman of his life bleeding and losing their child.

What if he had asked her to go to Kensington, where Gerard and Martha would have kept an eye on her? What if he hadn’t offered to accompany his grandmother to the engagement, therefore, arriving earlier at her place? Why didn’t she tell him anything about blood pressure problems and migraines?

He knew that “what ifs” wouldn’t bring him any closer to changing the outcome of the events. And decided he needed to keep himself busy. Getting his car keys and without letting anyone from his security team know, he drove outside Kensington Palace straight to Carol’s apartment. He let himself in and he dreaded entering her bedroom but he knew he had to get things done and if her reaction last night was any indicator, she wouldn’t deal well if she saw all that blood.

He emailed her boss letting him know that she was in the hospital and that she would keep him posted. He grabbed all the sheets and duvet, almost ripping them off the mattress with rage and threw them inside the washing machine. He cleaned the floor, the furniture and searched inch by inch of the apartment for any spot of blood. When he found none, he made her bed with new sheets and packed her an overnight bag.

He then drove straight to the back entrance of St. Mary’s, getting out of the car and ignoring all the calls on his phone. Edward, Bill, his father… he didn’t really want to talk to anyone right now.

He went straight to the private wing where half a floor had been cleared after Harry was made aware someone had just given birth a few doors down the corridor from Carol’s room. He immediately demanded they were transferred to another wing.

He knocked on her door and opened it to find only a shadow of the woman he once had met.

She had her hair wet, soft curls forming around her face. She was half-sitting on the hospital bed and she was staring at a fixed point on the wall above the door. Harry closed the door after coming in and left the bag on the chair by the bed.

“Hey...” he said approaching her. She didn’t even move or acknowledge his presence. “I brought you a change of clothes and a few personal items. I emailed your boss saying that you’re at the hospital and that we will keep him posted.”

He waited for a reply but didn’t receive one. He tried to caress her head but she dodged his hand. Just another pain to feel. He saw she didn’t touch breakfast and that it was laying on the table across from them.

“Do you want any help to eat?” Harry tried again, looking at her. She didn’t look or talk to him. He noticed that she was staring at a clock and one could cut the tension inside that room with a knife.

“Carol, please…. Talk to me. We need to communicate to be able to grieve properly.” Harry said, sitting on the bed. “I haven’t slept the other night and for what I heard, neither have you.”

Tic, toc. Tic, toc. Tic, toc.

Only the sound of the clock could be heard there.

“Carol? I know what you’re feeling, but please, let me know what I can do to help.”

“Nothing.” her voice was cracked and hoarse and only above a whisper. But that was progress.

“I know I can’t bring our child back...” he started.

“All I want is time to go back.” She replied, looking at the clock and Harry was starting to feel irritated by that damn thing.

“I’m sorry about what happened.” Harry said, trying to grab her hand but she fiercely snatched it out from his hold.

“Don’t touch me. Why is everyone touching me now? Why is everyone bothering me with empty words of sympathy and promises when no one knows what really happened and no one can fucking give me time.” She said and he struggled to hear her well and understand what she was saying.

Both Agnes and him had stayed just outside Carol’s door for more than an hour listening to her screams, almost entering the room again every now and then to try and calm her but deciding against it.

“At least you’re talking now.” Harry said, looking at her. She looked frail and broken. Just like he was.

“I told you to get out. Just leave me the fuck alone.” She finally looked at him and he saw so much pain and hatred in her gaze that his heart broke into a million pieces yet again.

“If that’s what you want.” he got up and opened the door. “I will be back tomorrow.” he said leaving the room.

“Don’t bother” she replied not sure if he heard her.

He did.

(…)

Once inside his car, he thought about going back home to try and sleep a bit but his heart wanted him elsewhere. He wanted to grieve with Carol. He wanted her support to go through this and he wanted to support her as well.

He knew that she had taken the heavier blow on this, as she was the one carrying the baby, but she should also know that he was hurt. He was scared of losing both of them. If she was up to it, they’d start trying to have another child as soon as possible. And he knew that any child he could have with her or anyone else would never replace the one they lost.

His life had gained so much more meaning and purpose when he knew he had to be a role model for someone. That he’d get to parent his child and make him or her the best version of him and Carol together.

He just kept driving and trying to calm his shattered heart. He didn’t know where he was going or how he was driving. He turned off his phone. He didn’t want to see anybody. He didn’t want to talk to anybody. He just wanted his child alive and well.

He was startled when he recognised the black iron gates of the property. He had driven for an hour and a half without noticing where he was headed but it somehow made sense. He knew who he needed the most at the moment and unfortunately, she also wasn’t around to embrace him and promise that everything would be OK.

The guards promptly opened the gates and greeted him. For the first time, he didn’t reply and simply kept driving until he reached the stables on the background of the imposing Estate. He killed the engine and got off his car and walked the long gravel path until he approached the lake.

It was a sunny day and he put his shades on. He walked and was taken by emotion when he was right in front of it. He opened the shed, took out the small boat and pushed it until it was on the water, getting in and rowing his way to the island in the middle of the oval lake. He got out of the boat and when on land, his knees almost gave away and with trembling lips and heavy tears he approached the centre of the island where he could see, engraved in marble, the words “Loving mother”.

“Mummy,” Harry said, kneeling before her grave. “I’ve failed mummy. I couldn’t protect the people that I love and now I’ve lost them.”

He cried. Each tear made his body tremble and his lips quiver. He out-poured all the emotions held inside feeling safe to do so in that place. Feeling safe that his heart had unconsciously brought him where his mum was eternally resting.

“How do I make this pain go again, Mummy?” he cleaned his face with his palm. “It hurts so fucking much. I’ve lost my child. Your grandchild. And I think I’ve lost my girl too.”

The peaceful scenery only made it worse to balance the turmoil inside Harry’s heart and mind.

“I need you here with me.” he whispered. “But you’ve also been taken away from me too soon. Why?”

He cried his tears and his sobs were cutting through his body and shaking it. He thought he would never be able to recover from this. Never. He was a different man and now he had nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“I don’t think I can get through this.” Harry said, looking at Diana’s grave and embracing his bent knees.

He stayed there the whole afternoon. If his uncle and cousins knew that he was there, thankfully no one approached the oval island. He cried and opened his heart to his mother, knowing that she’d listen to him. Knowing that she’d be taking care of him.

When the sun began to set he knew it was time to come back.

“Mummy, could you please take care of my baby with you in heaven? I don’t know if its a boy or a girl but I don’t care. Please tell him or her that we love him so much it hurts and we wish things could’ve been different. I don’t know how his mother and I will survive this searing pain.”

Harry cleaned the tears again and spoke just above a whisper.

“We did our very best but unfortunately that wasn’t God’s wish for us. Please cuddle our child in your arms the way you did with me and Wills. Love on him as you did on us. Both of you are greatly missed. And I love you both with all my being. I know that my baby is now with his grandmother and nothing bad can happen if he’s under your watch. I love you, mummy. And I love you, baby.”

[elegant-phff]

Eleven.Hollywood Halloween

Prince Harry of Wales

29 October,2015

London,United Kingdom-Los Angeles,California,United States of America

Ever since the phone call with Alexandra regarding the Halloween party,Harry had been rather excited about going to Los Angeles.He didn't even like Halloween that much.Every year he'd spend the festival by staying at his apartment and binge watching Halloween movies.When he was with Meghan,the plan was also the same since she'd spent the occasion filming.

But this year was different.This was going to be their first meeting after they 'got together'.Harry and Alexandra both knew why they were taking things slow.They both had gotten out of very serious relationships and it would take them some time to cope with it.However,Harry couldn't help but feel so drawn towards the woman he had come to know.She was different,different than everyone else he had been with.

She could brighten up an entire room just by her smile,she was unintentionally funny,the way her face would mold into a funny form as a reaction could easily make a person laugh.She loved kids more than she'd like to admit and she was more extraordinary than she thought.She was humble in a oblivious way.She is the type of person who would cancel everything just to make sure you are okay.That is what made Harry attracted towards the woman.Three years ago ,it was his playboy ways for getting her number but as he got to know her more he found her even more incredible.Her looks were just another bonus.

"Harry,make sure to tell Alexa that she has to meet me once she arrives in London,I have a lot of questions,"Kate said pointedly to her brother-in-law.Once she had found out about the couple's blooming relationship,she was ecstatic.She loved Alexandra and she knew that the younger woman was an amazing person."Yes,ma'am,"Harry rolled his eyes.The older couple had been persistent about meeting both of them as a couple more often.

"When is your flight leaving?"William asked entering the living room."Uhh,in a few hours,"Harry replied looking st his watch.William nodded."Want any drink?"He asked his younger brother as he opened the refrigerator."No thanks,might want to be sober for the flight,"He replied.William nodded.

"Uncoo Hawwie?"George's little voice spoke from Kate's lap."Yes,Georgie?"Harry asked in a baby voice,taking his nephew in his lap."Where are you going?"He asked squeezing his uncle's cheeks."I am going to America baby,"Harry spoke,his voice muffled because of George's tantics."Can you bring me some candies?"He whispered,trying to make sure his mum didn't hear it.

"I heard that,"Kate teased.

Harry made a mocking face at his sister-in-law and turned to George."Don't worry,I will bring tons and tons of candies,"Harry smiled,his eyes twinkling towards the little boy who was giggling in amusement.

"You know,I was talking to Pa the other day..."William began,making his way towards the trio.Harry turned his attention towards his older brother as he took a seat beside them."He was talking about Air Cdre Larsson...who happens to be Alexandra's dad,if I am not wrong,"William said suggestively.Harry raised his brows in confusion,"What are you trying to imply?"William huffed in response,"Are you really that dumb?"

"Apparently he and Pa are really close,as he was saying.Don't you think you guys should tell them?"

"I didn't know that they were this close,"Harry began.

"Yeah,apparently they play golf together,"William interjected.The three adults shared a chuckle,while the toddler future king began to grow fussy."I think he is sleepy,I will put him to bed,"Kate said,taking George in her arms.The two brothers nodded.

"Anyways,we just got together and it isn't even official yet.I will tell them when we are like together together,"Harry explained.William nodded,satisfied but asked curiously,"Do you wanna make it official?"

Harry thought for a few seconds,"Yes."William's face formed into a cheeky smile,Harry was about to question the reaction but was interrupted by William."Look at the time!You will be late for your flight,"William ushered Harry."Oh crap!Yes,I will get going,"Harry exclaimed forgetting about his earlier thought.

"I will go say goodbye to Kate,"Harry said.William nodded.Once he came back,he hugged his older brother and bid his farewell."Let me know if anything happens,"William smirks.Harry rolled his eyes,"Shut the fuck up,I will see you."

"See you!"William then closed the door of apartment 1A.

LAX,California

"Are you sure there are no paparazzis?"Harry asked his private secretary,Edward Lane-Fox."Yes,nobody is notified of your arrival in the States so the paps are not aware.Although it would be best we move discretely as if anyone from the public notices you,it would be a mayhem,"Edward replied,his words coming out as if he had memorized it by heart.Accompanying Harry to the States was Edward and his two RPOs,Lucas and Mark.The two bodyguards were right behind Harry and Edward in normal clothing trying to blend in as much as possible.

"You sure about staying at Mrs.Jonas's place?"Edward asked as they hopped into their designated vehicle."Yup,"Harry replied settling himself."I was specifically instructed to not stay at a hotel by yours truly,"Harry added snickering.Edward couldn't help but chuckle."She seems to be keeping you on your toes,"Edward remarked."Oh please,she truly is scary,"Harry exaggerated.Even the Lucas and Mark couldn't help but laugh at that.

Ten minutes or so later,they arrived at the very posh and Hollywood filled neighbourhood of Beverly Hills."Are you sure this is the correct address?"Edward asked,marveling at the view in front of him."Yes,this is the location Alex gave me,"Harry said,looking at the address in his phone once again.

"Let me call her,"He added,dialing Alexandra's number."Hey,I am outside,yeah..if you could come out...Thanks,"Harry finished the call.A few minutes called,Alexandra came out of the house--more like a mansion.She smiled as she made her way to the SUV."Hi,"Alexandra said hugging Harry.Her face flushed a deep red and Harry kissed her cheek."Hi,"Harry breathed out.Damn he forgot how breathtaking she was.

"This is my private secretary Edward,and my two RPOs Lucas and Mark,"Harry introduced."Ma'am,"Edward said with a polite smile."Please call me Alexandra or Alexa,"Alexandra said.

"I think we should head inside before anyone sees us,"Alexandra advised."Yes,of course,"Harry responded,prompting for his companions to follow him."Are you sure your sister is okay with all of us staying?"Harry asked as they entered the house."Yes of course,it was rather their idea,"Alexandra reassured.

"Summer,they are here!"Alexandra yelled."Do not yell at me,young lady,"Summer scold wadling down the stairs.Alexa rolled her eyes and muttered under her breathe,"Hormones."Harry tried to conceal his laughter but it turned into a snort.

Alexandra looked at Harry with a bewildered expression."Harry,it's nice to meet you!"Summer greeted,reaching to shake his hand."It's good to know the feeling's mutual,"He flashed his charming smile.Alexandra grinned at her sister's flustered face."How is the little one doing?"Harry asked gesturing to Summer's now gigantic bump.

Summer rubbed her hands around the bump as she answered,"Oh the baby is getting restless,constantly kicking,"He was cut off by Alex remarking,"Definitely doesn't get it from you."Summer was quick to glare at her sister with a murderous look but the younger Larsson only smirked.

"A couple more weeks,so I can't wait,"Summer said looking at Harry.Completely ignoring Alexandra.Harry couldn't help but grin at their banter.It reminded him of his and William's relationship.A lot of teasing and joking.

"Are you planning on keeping all of these guys at your living room?"Alexandra asked sarcastically."Alexandra Chase Larsson I will cut you if you do not shut up,"Summer clapped back.

"Let's ignore my dipshit sister,why don't you guys sit down?"Summer said gesturing to the sofa."Oh yeah,sure but before that do you mind if they check around a bit?"Harry asked rubbing the back of his neck.It was evident that he disliked that part of his life."Yeah,of course,no problem,"Summer smiled. With a nod Lucas and Mark made their way around the house.

"Would you guys like anything?"Summer offered."Oh no,we are alright,"Harry politely declined.Alexandra scoffed,"Bullshit,I am making you guys Earl Grey." "Is it okay with you,Edward?"Alexandra stopped to ask the private secretary.Edward on the other side looked baffled,"Uh-yeah yeah,I it's fine.Thank you."Alexandra smiled and made her way to the kitchen.

Harry turned to Summer and asked,"Where is Nick?" "He is showering,he will be back soon,"Summer smiled."So how was your flight?"She inquired."Not too bad considering the weather,"He answered.Summer nodded understandingly.

"How is the States treating you?"Harry asked kindly.Summer took a deep breathe,"It's a lot of American accent and dumb questions."They both stayed silent before burst out in laughter.

"Everything okay,you guys?"Alexandra asked with her brows raised, emerging from the kitchen with a tea trolley.

"Oh we are fine,I was just hearing about Summer's American adventures,"Harry chuckled.Alexandra snickered as she handed him a cup of Earl Grey."Thank you,"He whispered finally recovering from the laughter fit.

"Ray's stories are worth a Jimmy Fallon Mad Libs scene,"Alexandra laughed,placing herself beside Harry."I am willing to give my stories to them as a plot.Only if the world realised how dumb the people of the great USA actually are,"Summer exclaimed.

"I mean come on,they are so fucking racist and gosh,I never thought they'd be this sexist,"She added."I agree to the racist and sexist part.Especially this industry,they are shit,"Alexandra agreed."The Obamas are great though,"Harry interrupted.The sisters nodded in agreement."Probably the only thing good about this country,"Alexandra rolled her eyes.

"Don't say that,you might cause an angry mob,"Summer joked."Yeah,it would only get worse if they hear me agreeing with you guys!"Harry added jokingly."An international scandal!Prince Harry hates Americans?Is this a sign that the Queen wants to take over America again?!"Alexandra exclaimed imitating a deep voice.The group,including Edward burst out laughing.

"Don't let my Gramp hear that,he would love you say too much for that,"Harry added,containing his laughter.Alexandra threw her hair back with a smirk and sassed,"What can I say?I am very lovable."

Their playful banter was interrupted by Lucas and Mark returning from their tour,"All clear."Harry gave them a awkward smile.Summer-who was quick to notice the sudden awkwardness,changed the topic."You know what?You guys had a long flight,I will let you guys rest before dinner'"Summer exclaimed standing up.She gestured for Alexa,"Alexa why don't you show Harry his room,while I show his fellow companions where they are staying?"Alexandra resisted the urge of rolling her eyes at her sister's cheeky tone.

"Sure,"Alexandra replied with a sarcastic smile before dragging Harry by his arms.They ascended the stairs,with a giggling Harry,"Slow down,I will fall!"

"Under my watch,nothing is happening to you,Prince Charming,"Alexandra threw him a playful wink.Once they reached the room's door,Harry decided to play along."Oh,really?"Harry asked in a deep husky voice---his playful tone long gone.He placed his arms in a secure lock around her waist.They fitted perfectly like a puzzle.

Alexandra could feel his hot breathe fanning over her lips.She has missed him,more than she'd like to admit."I've missed you,"She whispered.Harry finally broke the painful distance between them by capturing her mouth in a slow and gentle kiss.They both were trying to savour the moment but it was long overshadowed by the sudden desire that sparked inside them.Soon the kiss became heated.

"We should probably not have sex,literally the first time after we meet each other,"Harry chuckled breaking the kiss but his arms were still securely wrapped around her waist."You are right,"Alexandra laughed,straightening Harry's shirt."I have missed you so much,"Harry said,staring right into her soul.Alecandra felt her cheeks heat up due to his intense gaze.

She finally looked up---only to be met by his goofy smile.Her lips formed itself into a huge grin.gosh the effect he had on me."You are so goddamn cute,"Alexandra exclaimed,the grin never leaving her face.Harry couldn't help but laugh."Look at you,so whipped,"Harry teased.By now,they had moved to the bed.Both laying comfortably beside each other.

Alexandra simply smiled in response.They both stayed quiet for a few minutes.The silence was not awkward,it was peaceful.Both of them trying to savour the presence of each other."I forgot to tell you,this is my room,"Alexandra broke the silence.Harry,who was facing towards the ceiling turned to look at her."Well for now,but I mostly stay here when I am in California,"She added.She was staring at the fairy lights dangling loosely from the ceiling.The dazzling of the lights reflecting in her green eyes.Her mouth was tugged into a faint smile and her posture relaxed.

To Harry,she looked like an adorable puppy.Excited by small things and definitely by getting attention.It wasn't difficult to make her happy,literally anything could get the job done.

"It has a lot of your element visible,"Harry finally spoke."I always thought of it that way,"Alexandra smiled."What's the point of staying if it doesn't feel like home?but for me the two of them are home,"She added.

That's when Harry knew he was gone for."Be my girlfriend?"He blurred out. "What?"Alexandra asked how facing him."I asked you,be my girlfriend?"He said again,slower,as if her hearing was the only problem."Harr--"She began but Harry cut her off,"I know this is the most unromantic and weirdest way to ask you this but come on,what's normal about us?I just need you,so ?"

Alexandra was speechless.Did he really just ask that?"Yes,"She smiled.She knew it wasn't going to be easy but she knew they were in this together.

Harry's mouth stretched into a huge grin and he leaned forward to kiss his girlfriend.

30th October,2015

The day before Halloween consisted of all the last minutes touches to Harry's costume which was the most basic vampire costume.Although,according to his now girlfriend,he was not going to be basic at all,since he was going to be one of the few ginger vampires and also a prince.To which he couldn't help but feel a bit narcissistic(in a good way).Alexandra had insisted on not doing matching outfits because a)it was cliché as fuck and b)there was not way in hell she was brainstorming or changing her costume since it took her 39273 years to convince Marvel to let her borrow the Scarlet Witch costume.

           "I still can't believe you are going as Scarlet Witch,"Nick exclaimed.Summer and Harry snickered as Alexandra rolled her eyes."I am not original and I do not want to be original,"She responded."I mean come on,I am a superhero which is an amazing thing and I so will go as my character.What's wrong with that?"She added."You would look like a narcissistic arsehole,"Summer piped in.

"Or I would look like a badarse Wanda Maximoff,"Alexandra implied."In my opinion,I know you will look great,"Harry defended.Alexandra smiled largely at the comment.Summer pretended to barf,"You guys already make me want to vomit and it's not because of my pregnancy."

"That's what you guys made me feel like,"Alexandra clapped back,making her way towards Harry to side hug him.

"We are getting sidetracked,"Nick said,interrupted the moment.The rest of the three rolled their eyes."You are lucky they allowed you the costume from Civil War,or else what would've you done ?"Nick asked.Alexandra shrugged,"I would have worn the costume from Age of Ultron,it's more comfortable than this one."

"How did they allow the new one anyway?"Summer asked.Harry leaned back,listening intendly to the conversation."They released the costume pictures earlier anyways so I begged them a bit and they agreed!"Alexandra exclaimed.

"Lucky bastard,"Nick murmured,only to be slapped on the head by his sister-in-law.

The rest of the day however,was quite uneventful.The married couple were out at Target getting candies last minute since Summer decided to munch most of them.Alexandra and Harry spent most of their time making alterations to both of their costumes.

"I feel odd wearing this costume with blonde hair,"Alexandra commented as she tried on the iconic Scarlet Witch costume."You look odd as well,"Harry replied.

"You don't look scary and fierce like Scarlet Witch,you just look adorable,"He added with a cheeky smile.

Alexandra looked up from the mirror and smiled,"You really are smooth,Wales."Harry simply shrugged in response,"What can I say?I have always been smooth."

"And you ruined it."

Harry smiled."Anyways,what can I expect tomorrow?"He asked,changing the topic.Alexandra looked at him quizzically,"As in?"

"I mean,who are going to be there and what type of people?"He replied.

Alexandra nodded understandingly."I don't know all of the people.But I do know that some of the Marvel cast is going to be there,Kim K,Kendall and Kylie are going to be there and ---Oh David Beckham!"She replied enthusiastically.

"I know him,"Harry replied happily.

"Also,my friends are going to be there so be prepared,"She added in a warning tone.Harry furrowed his eyebrows,"Why?"

"They might just interrogate you,"She said.Harry cringed,"Fuck."

31st October of 2015

"I feel like this makeup is never going to get off,"Harry whined as Mario,Alexandra's trusty makeup artist did his make up.Mario chuckled,"Don't worried sir,it would be out in seconds." Harry groaned,"Please don't call me sir,it makes me feel like I am in an engagement."

"Sure thing."

"How is the progress?"Alexandra asked,emerging from her closet.

Harry looked up from his position,much to Mario's dismay."Holy shit you look hot,"Harry exclaimed with his eyes widened.Alexandra chuckled,"Thank you,kind sir."

"Harry you might want to look forward if you want to get things done,"Mario warned.Harry looked front and apologised.

Twenty minutes later,the group finally emerged from the house and made their way to the Halloween party which was taking place at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

"Fair warning,people here are crazy,"Nick warned Harry.Harry although quite puzzled,nodded.

"My,my,my is that Alexandra?"A Colombian accent exclaimed."Sofia!"Alexandra replied,stepping forward to embrace the older woman.

Sofia looked around the younger woman,noticing her sister and brother-in-law when her eyes landed on the British Prince."Is that Prince Harry?"She asked.Alexandra frantically nodded,"Let's not get things exposed."Sofia nodded understandingly,"No worries,but introduce me!"Alexandra laughed and dragged her to her boyfriend."Harry,meet my good friend Sofia Vergara.Sofia,this is my boyfriend Harry,"She introduced each other.

"Your Highness,it's a pleasure to meet you,"Sofia said politely."Ms.Vergara,please call me Harry.I must say,I am a huge fan,"He responded with his signature smile.They chatted along for a while when Sofia had to go."It was a pleasure meeting you."

Soon enough,the couple met Taylor and Selena,which was rather interesting.They immediately took Harry to a corner and started interrogating him,which much to Alexandra's dismay was out of her eyesight.

The ending to the night was rather interesting."Paparazzis got a tip about the party,"Taylor whispered to Alexandra minutes before they were about to leave.

The party had a no phone rule so nothing inside the party would get leaked for the privacy of the celebrities.The media as well,was unaware of the party until now.

"Fuck,"Alexandra exclaimed."Yeah,paparazzis are rounding up around the entrance,"Selena informed.

Alexandra walked away to make her way to Harry who was talking to David Beckham."Excuse me,mind if I steal him for a bit?"Alexandra asked with a polite smile."Sure,"David smiled.

"What happened?"Harry asked as she dragged him away."The paps are rounding up in the entrance.Which means we will be photographed when we leave,"Alexandra explained.Harry's face turned to a frown,"Shit,what now?"

"Well,we could simply leave separately but the thing is we came in the same car so it wouldn't make sense.Or we could go together--"

"Let's do the latter,"Harry quickly said.

"Harry,don't you think it's a bit too early?"Alexandra asked,concerned."I know,I know but here is the thing.We have to come out sooner or later.Let's do it now.We have each other,we will be there for each other,"Harry explained.

"But we haven't told anyone,"She argued."That's the first thing we do after we leave,"Harry reassured.

Alexandra sighed,"Fine."

Few minutes later,they bid their goodbyes and prepared to exit the hotel."Ready to tell the world you're mine?"Harry asked taking Alexandra's hand."With you?Always,"She grinned.

With that,they exited the hotel.Harry leading the way.The screams of the paps got louder.

And that's how the world found out about the new ground shattering couple.

[kingdomcome-phff-blog]

Prequel 02:Unlike Anyone Else

This chapter is dedicated to the late Princess of Wales,Diana Spencer

Princess Diana of Wales

June of 1993

Balmoral Castle,Scotland

"Mummy when are uncle Wil and Aunt Bella coming?"Harry asked running towards me."Soon my love,"I replied caressing his rosy cheeks."HARRY LOOK WHAT I FOUND!"William shouted from the backyard.Harry left my embrace and ran towards his brother's voice.I smiled at their interaction.William had finally aceepted the fact that he had a brother with whom he has to share everything.

It was a beautiful day in Balmoral.The summer vibes oozing in very aspect of the castle.The kids played in the backyard with Elizabeth's corgis while I set up their rooms.I was putting aside the boys' clothes when I heard the rumbling of cars followed by the cheerful screams of Will and Harry.

I walked out of the castle and was met with the sight of my dear friends Wilhelm and Arabella with their 7 years old daughter,Eleanora and one year old son Francis."ELLE!"Harry screamed while running towards Eleanora to hug her.William went up to Wilhelm and hugged him and then towards Arabella."We have missed you so much!"William said hugging Arabella."We have missed you as well,Elle was getting fussy without you guys around!"Bella said."That's not true!"Elle pouted."Really?You didn't miss us?Because I was missing my Elle a lot,"I teased walking towards them.Eleanora's face lit up when she saw we walk up to them."AUNTY DI!"Elle exclaimed and jumped up to hug me.I laughed at her excitement."Come on let's get you guys inside,"I ushered them in.

We walked inside the castle when Wilhelm asked,"Where are Charles,Philip and Elizabeth?"

"Oh,Charles and Philip are playing Polo and Elizabeth is resting in her room.She was quite tired from the trip,"I replied.Wilhelm nodded understandly,"Quite understandable."

"So,how has it been with little Francis around?"I asked,cooing at the little boy in his father's arms.The boys were playing with Elle,who was very interested in whatever they were saying ."Elle is very protective of his little brother,"Bella chuckled,emphasising on the word 'very'.Wilhelm laughed and said,"She has probably terrified all the staff at Astrington,"

"She wouldn't let anyone hold him,"Bella added."That's adorable,your sister loves you a lot,doesn't she?"I cooed taking Francis in my arms."Elle did you know that Harry peed his pants last week?"William smirked."WILLIAM NO!"Harry screamed,very offended.It only caused William to laugh louder."William!it is not nice!"Elle exclaimed frustrated at the brothers' regular tantrum."HAHA!You are still such a baby!"William barked out a laugh with his hands clutching his stomach.Harry was pouting beside him with his arms crossed and his cheeks burning red."William apologise to your brother!"Elle exclaimed angrily at William who was still laughing.It seemed that he might explode from laughter anytime soon."Why should I?I am the older one!"William exclaimed finally suppressing his laughter."Because it is rude,"Elle said.Her hands crossing over her chest and she stomped her foot on the floor.We three adults didn't say anything,rather watched their banter.It was a usual thing.William would say something which would upset Harry or vice versa and Elle would be the one to make them apologise to the other.Although she was the youngest among the three,she was the most mature one.

William sighed,finally giving up.He turned to a pouting Harry and said,"I am sorry Harry."Harry,not aceeptimg the apology turned his face to the other side."HARRY!Aceept his apology and hug it out!"Elle said,at this point she seemed more adult than all of us combined.I looked over to Bella whose eyes were widened and a small laugh escaped her mouth.Wilhelm was shaking his head side to side in disbelieve,amusement evident in his features.

Harry turned around and said,"I forgive you Will,but don't do it again,"

"I won't,l promise,"Will replied and the brothers hugged it out.Eleanora smiled and they went back to whatever they were doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have you missed Balmoral Elle?"Charles asked.Balmoral was both the family's usual meet up place.With the Press observing every move,it was difficult to spend time together in privacy."Very much,back in Rosnaria everyone is so busy with work and there is no one for me to spend time with,"Elle explained."What about your dear cousins Kevin and Nancy?"Andrew asked."They don't get along well,"Bella answered in a soft quiet tone."It seems like Nicholas is trying to make it a family rivalry between us,"Wilhelm said furiously."Oh well,it's quite alright.You have Will,Harry,Eugenie and Beatrice.They love spending time with you,"I said trying to lighten up the mood.I saw Harry and Will grinning from ear to ear."Yes!I wish we could be around each other all the time!"Will exclaimed."It would be so much fun!"Harry added.

The three were practically inseparable since the first time they met.It was an year after Eleanora's birth that the boys had met her.Charles and I were lucky enough to have visited them before but the boys were not allowed with us.The Callinthovan Royal Family arrived in London together in the year 1998.Breeching the very important protocol that the direct heir to the throne must not travel in the same vehicle(or aeroplane in that case)especially to a foreign country.Although Wilhelm and Arabella didn't care about it.They just wanted their daughter to meet their close friends,family even in a distant way.The boys had clicked almost instantly.William was more welcoming to the idea of having Eleanora as a younger sibling than Harry.Quite insistent on replacing both of them.Harry,although still very young was intrigued by the small baby.Over the years their bond has gotten stronger.Their friendship had also brought both them families closer.Even if they were close earlier,the kids ' insistance of seeing each other pulled the families closer than ever.

"Auntie Di..."I was pulled away from my thoughts by Elle's soft voice."Yes,dear?"I asked.I kneeled down in front of her so I would be the same height as her."I want to learn Ballet,"She said.I raised my eyebrows and said,"That's great!Why are you asking telling me this?"She frowned and said,"Uncle Nicholas said that I shouldn't learn Ballet because it's not princess like."I furrowed my eyebrows,furious at the man brainwashing the little girl,"Have you told Ma and Pa about it?"She shook her head no."Well little Elle,I think you should definitely learn ballet and I will teach you,okay?"I said.I saw as her big green eyes lit up and she nodded her head furiously.She hugged me tightly.I rubbed my hands over her small back."And remember,if anyone ever says that you are not 'princess like' or what you are not doing is 'princess like' just remember that you are a princess.So everything you are and do is princess like,"I smiled."Thank you Auntie Di!I love you so much,"She giggled.

"I love you too dear,"I kissed her cheeks.

[nataliawritesstuff]

UPDATE: CONFESSIONS FROM A CONFUSED WRITER

Hi. How are you? Remember me? The writer of that one fic about Prince Harry in a fake relationship with a mentally unstable famous actress? Yeah. I don’t blame you if you don’t, it’s been a while.

I don’t know how to say this. If you’re reading this, you probably remember that after FIUYMI ended I said I’d start writing again sometime in early 2017 after I graduated university and had time for it. You may also remember I made a poll to help chose what my next story would be, and that after that I actually made a couple of other posts about what I had decided my next story would be.

As it turns out, I was overestimating my readiness to continue writing. I have started five new Prince Harry fanfictions since I finished FIUYMI, and my intention was to start posting as soon as I had a few chapters ready so I could do weekly updates without missing a bit. I started those stories with a light heart, intending to make them short and not as big of a deal as FIUYMI was. And as I quickly found, I don’t know what I am doing.

I got so used to writing FIUYMI for… what was it, five years? That I do not know how to write anything else. I have tried – in one of my attempts I did reach six chapters! But I just can’t pretend I am as into writing these new fic ideas as I should be. Which is probably why they are not coming out as fast as I hoped, and why I haven’t started posting any of them.

I still very much want to write, and I stand by my ideas, but I just don’t know what to do. And I am sorry I gave you hope about these fics – creating the blogs and telling you about it -, but I just have to come to accept that until I can write as I did before, I shouldn’t be telling myself – and you – that a new story is coming in just a matter of time.

TLDR: What I’m saying is, sorry I gave you hope about new fics, but something is not letting me write; I will keep trying to, and as soon as I feel like I can start posting without disappointing you – and me – I promise I’ll let you know. Until then, feel I’m still here on tumblr, feel free to come and chat =)

Hope you’re well. Love,

Nat.

[guidinglightphff]

ABOUT ME

Hey!

I’m Natalia. I am 25 years old, Brazilian and I currently work as an agent in a credit card company’s assistance center. I graduated in 2016 as a Literature major and moved to the capital, São Paulo. To quote from my first day at work when we were introducing ourselves: I have no idea what I’m doing with my life (seriosly, I said that. Yikes).

​I love writing, this is my second story, you can check the first one here! The idea for Guiding Light came from the wonderfully talented @teaenthusiast65, and I haven’t quite stopped thinking about it since. It’s my first time writing a British character, so I know her speaking patterns and idioms won’t be fully realistic - sorry about that. 

Anyway, this story is about friendship, family and chosing what’s important to you over all else. I hope you like it! If you have any questions, please ask =)

And if you feel like it, follow me:

Personal blog

Instagram

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Six

If there was anything Princeton didn’t play around with, it was finals. Most of the time Lexy thought she had completely acclimated to the academic rigor of classes. Then finals would come around and Lexy would be knocked right down to where she should’ve been from the beginning.

The mood on campus truly shifted when it came time for finals to begin. People were just a little less friendly, a lot more stressed, and everyone seemed to be wishing for the time to end with the right results.

Lexy and her friends were no different. But by the time she only had one final left, Lexy decided she should patch things over with Carrie before the year ended, just so she could start the summer with hardly any worries. She still hadn’t talked to Harry nor had he tried contacting her, but Lexy was less worried about him and decided to just let things patch themselves over.

“Hey,” Lexy said as soon as Carrie walked into Starbucks. She’d gotten there on time but Lexy was typically earlier than everyone else.

Carrie was dressed better than Lexy was. Lexy was still dressing in her finals attire of jeans and a t-shirt but Carrie had taken the time to do her makeup and put on a dress, probably as part of her plan to show everyone that she had everything together.

“I actually gave up coffee,” Carrie told her sitting across from her and rising her sunglasses to sit on top of her head. “But I came here to talk anyway.”

Lexy frowned. “Thanks?”

Carrie sighed and leaned forward. “I just wanted you to know that I probably overreacted. I was going to reach out to you after the press found out but I felt like you probably wouldn’t want to talk to me.”

Lexy nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m not even talking to Harry right now.”

She didn’t know why she told her that. Lexy still had her suspicions that Carrie might have been the one who told the media but it just flowed out of her like Carrie deserved to know, even if she really didn’t.

Lexy had missed her, she guessed. The ease of having a friend who was always up to walk with her, always up to try and better her life. She just wished Carrie had thought that Harry was a part of Lexy bettering her life, even though she clearly didn’t.

Carrie frowned at her. “You’re not? Did you break up with him?”

“No,” Lexy said in a rush, again feeling the paranoia that Carrie was going to tell someone. Or maybe, she thought, it was the British grad student who had said something. Maybe she should reach out to him too. “It was a lot of stress on me with everything going on at home. I’m sure you’ve heard about it.”

Carrie nodded. “I’m sorry about that. I probably should have texted you then too.”

Lexy shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I just wanted to make sure we were okay.”

“We’ll always be okay, Lexy. We don’t always agree and I think it’s really hard to settle sometimes but I want you to know that I’ve got your back. No matter where you go in life.”

Lexy squinted at her. The statement was too sincere to be a lie. “You didn’t tell the media about me and Harry?”

“What? No! Why would I tell them? You’re my friend. Best friend, actually.”

Lexy studied her. Carrie was surely telling the truth. She shook her head. “I just thought that you reacted really strongly to seeing him. And that maybe that drove you to say something.”

“I was a little jealous to be honest, but I would never do something like that. I promise you that. Lexy, you deserve someone who loves you and I’m not going to stand in the way of that. Even if I did it unconsciously.”

Lexy frowned. “Harry doesn’t even love me though. We’ve never said that.”

Carrie rolled her eyes. “The boy loves you. Otherwise he wouldn’t fly all the way over here just to spend a week with you while you’re in class half the time. It doesn’t matter if he’s said it or not.”

Lexy reached out and touched Carrie’s hand. “Thanks, Care. For being my friend. Even when we’re not talking.”

Carrie laughed. “Anytime Lex. Anytime. I still pray for you every night. And I hope you know that I’m always here even when it seems like I’m not.”

Lexy smiled at her. “So what are you drinking now in place of your daily coffee?”

“Tea. I just bought this box that had about six different types in it. I never used to like it as a kid but apparently tea has a ton of benefits in comparison to coffee.”

“I’m not a big fan of tea. Except peppermint. I like peppermint. And sweet tea, of course.”

Carrie smiled but rolled her eyes. “Iced tea is so bad for you. It has so much sugar.”

“Probably. But it tastes so good. I miss it so much when I’m here. I couldn’t drink it for nine or so months because they don’t sell it England either.”

Carrie laughed. “You southerners are so weird.”

“Like you’re any better,” she childishly stuck out her tongue. Then she checked her phone and saw the time. She still had one final the next day and needed to finish it.

“I should get going. I still need to finish studying for my German final.”

“Me too. When do you leave?”

They both stood up, walking in sync towards the door and then outside into the bright May day. Everything felt a little better, Lexy thought, with the sun shining and the natural summertime heat getting closer and closer.

“On Friday. The train to the airport will be packed I’m sure, but it’ll be worth it. What about you?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow after my final. I didn’t want to be here any longer than I had to,” Lexy laughed.

“Well, bye Lex! If I don’t see you again before you leave I hope you have an amazing summer! I’ll facetime you!”

They hugged and as they parted ways Lexy felt like a weight had been lifted off of her already, having another friend back in her life. She was halfway back to her dorm when her phone began to ring. Lexy always kept it on silent but remembered she had turned the ringer on in case she overslept.

It was an unknown number. At first Lexy pushed it deeper into her pocket, but then she thought it was probably her internship, so she pulled it out and answered.

“Bueno?” She said, genuinely thinking it was someone from Spain on the line.

“Lexy?” Came an English accented reply.

Lexy closed her eyes and stopped walking, causing someone on a bike to almost run into her and send her a glare she didn’t see.

“Lexy,” the voice continued. “This is Kate. I just wanted to give you a call to check up on you.”

“Did Harry tell you to do this?” She felt angry again. There she was, contemplating calling him and apologizing and then he had to go and do something else. She didn’t know what his idea of space was, but this certainly wasn’t it.

“Oh no!” Kate exclaimed. “And don’t tell him about this either. William doesn’t even know. I even blocked your number in case one of them gets a hold of my phone.”

Lexy squinted at the capitol building in front of her and continued to walk towards her dorm. “He didn’t? How did you get my number?”

Kate laughed. “If I tell you, you can’t ever tell Harry.”

“Of course not.” Lexy didn’t know why she was agreeing to it.

“Harry’s computer password isn’t too difficult to figure out. We were back at Kensington for the weekend and Harry asked to watch George. William was gone so I dropped him off and when Harry went to the loo, I decided to track hacking. I found your number in his contacts.”

Lexy found herself laughing so loud at that that she was getting strange looks from students passing by. “I’m impressed. You’d think someone who’d spent so much time in the military would know to have better passwords.”

“Harry’s a bit of an idiot, I think you’ll find.”

Lexy laughed even harder at that. She was glad she answered the phone. “How are George and Charlotte?”

“Oh they’re doing wonderful. Charlotte’s really talking a lot now and George is just beginning to learn to read a few words. Of course, he only knows certain ones, like dog and cat. We’re moving back to Kensington permanently; I don’t know if you heard?”

“I think Harry did mention that, yeah. How do you feel about it?”

“I love London. It’s a bit unnerving, packing up the children and moving but I’m hoping for the best. But,” she paused for a dramatic effect. “Speaking of Harry, I’ve called because of him.”

Lexy figured she had. Her face fell. “Yeah?”

“He’s been a bit too mopey lately. And very self-deprecating, actually. He keeps going on about how he’s a disappointment. The only problem is he and William are quite close so they share everything, so I only know certain things because William has told me, and I’m not supposed to know them.”

“He’s got to be about the furthest things from disappointment there is.”

“He keeps comparing himself to you, talking about how you’ve actually made a difference in life and he’s only done things because of how he was born.”

“Me?” Lexy squeaked. “He has to be kidding. He has his own charity!”

“He’s really impressed by you. He keeps going on about how brilliant you are and he’s even begun trying to teach George Spanish, so that you’ll be impressed with him.”

Lexy snorted. “He doesn’t even speak Spanish.”

“Which is why you need to call him and tell him to stop! There’s only so much I can take, Lexy.”

Kate was smart. Lexy had to give her that, convincing her to call Harry without actually asking her to. But Lexy still wasn’t sure she was up to talking to him just yet.

“I just don’t know if I can call him. I made a really stupid decision by not talking to him.”

“With all due respect,” Kate said, in the same manner Harry had in their earlier conversation. “Do you think your decision is getting any less stupid the longer you wait?”

She had a point. Lexy sighed and decided to walk around campus a few times before going inside. The weather outside was still so nice that it would be a pity to waste it indoors. “Okay, you’re right. I’ll call him.”

“Wonderful! If you need to get in touch with me, send me an email. It’s just catherinemiddleton@gmail.com. I’ve had it since university and no one ever suspects it.”

What was it with the royals and email? Lexy laughed. “Okay. Thanks, Kate. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye! Good luck!”

Lexy hung up the phone, staring at her background. It was black with a single word, “dream,” near the bottom. Lexy took a deep breath and went to her favorites, calling the name listed directly under Nicole’s.

He answered after three rings. “Hello?”

“Hey,” she said softly, sitting on a bench. “Harry, I’m sorry.”

Harry was silent. Lexy counted the seconds like she used to. “Me too,” he said finally. “But I already told you that.”

It was awkward and Lexy didn’t like awkward. She’d spent most of her life trying to get away from it. “I saw some pictures of you from the London Marathon. You looked really nice.”

“Oh, have you taken to googling me now?”

Lexy smiled. “I had to get my daily dose of you since we haven’t been Skyping.”

Harry chuckled and Lexy was glad to hear the sound, hoping it would mean he didn’t hate her after all.

“Well, was there a certain reason you called?”

Lexy swallowed, running her shoe over a crack in the pavement. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for overreacting and being mean to you. And for ignoring you. And blocking your number.”

“Anything else you need to say?”

“I danced with this guy when Nicole and I went out last weekend. He tried to kiss me and I ran away. I ran all the way back to my dorm.”

“You didn’t want him to kiss you?”

“No,” she said, worried about what his reaction would be. “I only want you to kiss me.”

“This is beginning to sound a bit like a rom com,” Harry said. “But I think I like it.”

“So that means you forgive me?”

“You’ve been forgiven since the moment it happened. I was mostly worried about you being there all alone. You better believe that if we lived closer, and if I hadn’t known that you would kill me if I’d just shown up at Princeton, this would have been settled a while ago.”

Lexy smiled. “I don’t think I would have killed you. I would’ve been mad but I would’ve gotten over it.”

“I’m too attractive to ignore?”

“Your hair is too red for me to ever ignore you. Plus,” she frowned. “Ed Sheeran and his girlfriend are still going strong. He said something so beautiful about her and I’m torn between wanting to be happy for him and being incredibly jealous of her.”

Harry laughed loudly and Lexy’s smile widened at the sound. “God, I have missed you. Only a few more weeks yeah?”

“About that,” Lexy frowned. “I was really mad, so I kind of called the Spanish internship and told them yes.”

Harry was silent so Lexy counted his seconds again. Seventeen. “Lexy Renee Marks. You did what?”

“Well I wasn’t going to spend the summer with you if I was avoiding you!”

Harry groaned. “Why are you so stupid sometimes?”

“At least I’m not trying to teach my nephew a language I don’t speak!”

“Who told you that?! That was confidential!”

“I have my ways.”

“Fucking William,” he muttered. “Can’t keep his goddamn mouth shut for shit.”

Lexy was amazed at how attractive she found his swearing. She’d heard it before, of course. But the way he was talking made her want to hop on a plane and go straight to London.

“I’ll call them back and see if I can arrange something differently. Is the one in London still good?”

Lexy could tell he was rolling his eyes. “Lexy, the one in London will always be good.”

“I don’t want an internship just because I’m dating you! I want one because I got it myself.”

“To be fair, you’re dating me because you’re you. So I don’t see a difference.”

Lexy huffed and stood up from the bench. “I need to pack. I’m going home tomorrow.”

“How are you feeling about that?” he asked as she began to walk back towards her dorm.

“It’ll be okay. I’m more excited to see the kids, to be honest. And it’ll be my first time seeing Sara. But I’m still mad at her, so I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“She’s still in the facility?”

Lexy wondered why he didn’t call it prison but answered him anyway. “Yeah. This is her second felony. It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Damn,” he whistled. “That’s a mess.”

“I’m sorry my life is so fucked up.”

“Well, that’s not your fault. And my life isn’t exactly smooth either.”

“I really can’t wait to see you again,” she found herself finally saying, how she really felt coming through. “I wish we lived in the same country.”

“Oh me too. But not so long now, especially if you decide to cancel your internship in Spain. Spain’s not that nice anyway.”

“Harry!”

“I’m just saying that England is better.”

“Is it now?”

“Yeah. We’ve got Ed Sheeran.”

Lexy laughed as she opened the door. “I should go. I think Nicole is napping. Bye, Harry. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Lex. I love you in that way that every human loves another human.”

Lexy smiled and told him the same but as they hung up, she couldn’t help wondering when it was going to be the real thing.

[fakeituntilyoumakeitphff]

Chapter 82: Family Issues

“Jenifer…”

“Back off, L.F.,” I warned, spinning in my pleated skirt to look at him, “I’m not changing.”

Edward raised his hands, defeated, and didn’t say another word about my attire.

“For whatever is worth, I think you look great.” Harry smiled.

I smiled back, spinning in place to show him my whole outfit: my purple floral pleated skirt almost covered my knees, and the bodice of the dress was dark blue and had only one shoulder. I had paired it with purple pumps, the same shade as the print in the skirt, and the same shade as the hat in my head, which looked more like a disc hanging to the side of my face with a bow on the other.

“Thank you. I think I look great too.” I replied. I was particularly excited about dressing as a royal – the whole thing, including the hat, made the change in my life feel realer. “You look like a penguin.” I teased. He grinned despite himself and made a big wave with his arms before dramatically putting on his black top hat.

All ready to go, we headed to the car and drove to Berkshire, more specifically, to Ascot, where that month of June we were to attend the opening of the traditional horserace Royal Ascot.

The only thing I knew about it was what I had seen in My Fair Lady – the fancy people and hats – and funnily enough, I wasn’t that far off.

I had never been to a horserace before, and the fact that my debut would be in Ascot was a big deal because, as I had been properly informed, the Ascot Racecourse was a big deal. One of the leading racecourses in the United Kingdom, hosting nine of Britain’s 32 annual Group 1 horse races, Royal Ascot is owned by Ascot Racecourse Ltd, and it was founded in 1711 by Queen Anne, which is probably why it is such a big tradition that the royal family attends every year.

The Queen arrives each day in a horse-drawn carriage with the Royal procession taking place at the start of each race day and the raising of the Queen’s Royal Standard; that year, she was joined in her carriage by Prince Philip and the Princess Royal and her husband. Behind them, followed Harry and me, and his cousins Beatrice and Eugenie, with one last carriage behind us with Harry’s uncle Andrew, Edward and his wife Sophie, the countess of Wessex - a stunning blonde that made me pray I would age that well.

Eugenie and Beatrice had been the ones to help me shop for hats for Ascot – Kate wouldn’t attend that year, and the only hat I owned was the one I wore to Chelsy’s wedding. Considering it was my first event as a semi-official part of the family, I thought it would be best to not repeat it, so purple it was, a lot darker than the pale pink from back then. It was also a lot bigger as Ascot was known for its eccentric fashion and hats. Ascot was, after all, a major event in the British social calendar, and press coverage of the attendees and what they are wearing often exceeded the coverage of the actual racing, so I knew I had to dress to impress.

Attending this with the royal family meant a lot for a two reasons: one, I wasn’t yet married to Harry, which made my attendance with them – and the rolling along in the carriages – a bit of a novelty. The second reason was that despite it not being traditional for fiancés to attend, I had been invited because apparently the public wanted to see me.

After attending the Invictus Games in Denmark alone, Harry had to deal with a lot of public disappointment and media hell as well as they all wondered why I hadn’t gone with him. My press secretary, Monica, had explained I had issues to deal with in England, which wasn’t completely a lie, though the truth was we didn’t think it would be appropriate to attend while we weren’t yet married. The edition in Florida had been different, of course, as I lived in the country. But traveling to another country just to attend could wait until we were married – or that’s what we thought before realizing people really wanted to see us together these days.

“Besides,” Thomas had explained to me, “you’ll be married in less than two months, so there’s really no need to pretend you don’t belong.”

Still, I wanted to make sure I would act as belonging as I could. I had prepared for a lot of problems in Ascot, but now for the weather. It was cold – it was actually exactly 18º C, so not cold, but chilly. Chilly enough to make me regret not wearing an overcoat or blazer. Chilly enough to make me realize – as we rode in the open carriage through the fields into the horserace arena – that I would have to adjust more than my hemlines when it came to fashion after getting married. I would have to accept I needed to cover up more, not for prude reason, but because England was cold!

Riding into racecourse, it was easy to accept the changes in my life. Starting by the outskirts of the area, where the public could buy the cheaper places to watch the race, the crowd was already wearing different gear.

“Who are these people?!” I asked, on a low tone, trying not to move my lips too much.

“The masses.” Eugenie replied, smiling and waving to the crowd as they started to see us there.

“They like Ascot, it makes them feel a little more posh.” Her sister, Beatrice, added.

The women were wearing multicolored dresses of all shapes and big headpieces to match. They legs were overly tanned and they hair was smoothly straightened, but they still looked like they were in a costume party. Those were the attendees of the Windsor enclosure, the one with tickets starting at 75 and 85 pounds, which allowed the people to watch from the sides of the field, where we could see the same women in heels and men in suits and ties sitting in picnic towels or benches. The next was the Queen Anne enclosure and then there was the Royal enclosure.

The Royal Enclosure was, according to what I had been told, the most prestigious of the three enclosures, as it was the one the Queen and Royal Family members attended. Access to the Royal Enclosure, which offered fine dining and hospitality, and a selection of bars, is restricted, with high security and all. First-time applicants must apply to the Royal Enclosure Office and gain membership from someone who has attended the enclosure for at least four years. The dress code is strictly enforced – as opposed to the lighter one from the other enclosures. For women, only a day dress with a hat is acceptable, with rules applying to the length and style. Pantsuits were welcome, but the rules about color and fabric made my head hurt. In addition, women were not allowed to show bare midriffs or shoulders. For men, black or grey morning dress with top hat was required – the reason why Harry was looking like a penguin.

The carriages rode into an open area into the racecourse and in front of the stands where the public – a sea of colorful hats - eagerly awaited with their phones up to snap pictures of the royal family. Even the way they yelled and waved seemed polite, and as I had been instructed I could, I smiled and waved back, along with the others, trying not to think too much of what they would think of what I was wearing. It would always be a weird feeling seeing the faces of total strangers smiling happily at me as if I was making their day by simply showing up.

We were driven into the big stand and took the modern elevators in the facility to the level of the privet box the royal family used, which was filled with relatives and friends of the royal family, all of who I was ushered around to meet and greet with Harry’s hand on my lower back and the media watching from afar.

“Congratulations on your engagement, Miss Silva.” We heard, time and time again, to which we would always smile and nod appreciatively, thanking people for their kindness.

Finally, we were able to find seats ear Eugenie and Beatrice, and none other than the Warrens.

“Oh, I love your dress!” Zoe smiled, kissing my cheek in greeting.

“I love yours!” I replied, admiring her white lace dress with long sleeves.

As his family had been managing the Queen’s stud farm for years, Jake was always around for horse related events, which was good because I liked him, but even better because having his wife around made the whole thing feel natural as she always made me feel normal even with a big ass hat in my head.

“So, we need to discuss your stag do!” Jake said, tapping Harry’s shoulder. “I’ve been talking to Will about it…” They walked away, and Zoe and I took seats on a part of the stand covered by the sun, which helped me feel a little less cold.

She quickly wiped out her cellphone to show me the latest picture of her twins, India and Zalie – Harry’s goddaughters -, who were smiling to the camera with their three-year-old mouths full of little teeth.

“They don’t even look like babies anymore.” I marveled.

“I know… they’re little ladies. They’re growing too fast.”

“Oh, they’re going to look so cute as flower girls!” I squealed, making her laugh.

“I know!” She agreed. “Though it’s still weird that you call them that, they’re bridesmaids here.” She noted. “I mean, they don’t really throw flowers or anything.”

“Whatever.” I said dismissively, making her laugh.

We had decided, invited, and released to the press the children that would be a part of our wedding as page boys and what the British called ‘bridesmaids’, but were really flower girls. We had chosen our nephews and niece – George, Charlotte and Arthur -, godchildren – Zalie, India and Kidd Artchet -, Edward Lane-Fox’s daughter Eponine, who was five now, and Mia Tindall, the daughter of Harry’s cousin Zara – the one who didn’t like me very much. That had been a particular interesting invitation, as it was obvious I had had the idea to try and charm Zara into giving me a chance. I wasn’t sure she bought it, but she was excited to have her little girl all dressed up in a cute dress, which softened her up, which was exactly the plan.

“God, in less than a month you’ll be married.” Zoe marveled. “How weird is that?!”

“Too weird.” I agreed, feeling my stomach clenching away in a mixture of excitement and nerves.

“Are you overwhelmed? I remember being completely overwhelmed when I was planning our wedding, and ours was minimal compared to yours.”

“I’m not so overwhelmed by the wedding as much as I am with everything else going on.”

Zoe nodded, grinning. “Just last week I read they’re making a Lifetime telly movie about you and Harry.”

Coming back, Jake and Harry took their seats beside us. “Oh, yeah, that was great!” Jake laughed. “Who do you think will play Harry?!”

“Some poor bastard that’ll have to dye his hair ginger.” Harry replied.

“Are you going to watch it?”

“Hell, yeah.” I said, smiling. “I’ll probably have to be drunk to get through it, but I wanna see how wrong they get everything that happened.”

Unless the movie writers decided to write a movie about how Prince Harry and Jenifer Silva got together after a fake relationship publicity stunt, I didn’t think there was any chance the movie would be too realistic.

“I wonder if we’ll be in it.” Jake pondered, making Zoe chuckle.

“Sorry, love, I don’t think so.”

“Did you guys see that Telegraph piece on our wedding party?” Harry asked them. “The one that called Zalie and India the cutest kids in England since the Beckhams?”

“Yes!” They replied together, excitedly, making us laugh. “We framed it! We’ll keep it forever!” Zoe admitted.

As the wedding got nearer, things were getting weirder. One of those things were the magazine pieces about the wedding, including every detail they could get their hands on. People, Vanity Fair, Hello, the Daily Mail, and the Telegraph were all making special editions now and then with all the information relevant, from a timeline of my life and our relationship, to mini biographies of everyone in our wedding party: the ushers, the bridesmaids and the kids, explaining who they were, what they did for a living, and what was their relation to us.

It also felt like every month there was a new documentary made about me and Harry, about our relationship, our wedding, or even just about me, so that people could ‘get to know their future new duchess’. I had developed a habit of watching them with Harry and making a drinking game out of it: the rule was take a shot for every information that’s wrong. Quickly, documentary night became drunk night, and Harry decided it was time to stop, as he was still worried about my ulcer problem. We stopped watching them then, because drinking was the only way to get through the interviews with old teachers I barely remembered, so-called friends that I recalled had never been particularly nice to me or whom I hadn’t even spoken to in years, and even neighbors from when my family and I lived in California.

“Is there any planning still left to be done for the wedding?” Zoe asked, conversationally.

“The security plan is still being decided.” I told her. “But we basically don’t have anything to do with that…”

“We did get to choose some crap to be sold with our faces on it.” Harry added.

“Oh, yeah. Apparently the Royal Arts Collection, which is a thing-“

“Of course it’s a thing!” Zoe interrupted. “They care for the Queen’s art pieces, right?”

“Right.” I nodded. “Apparently no one but me finds it weird the amount of organizations that care for the royal stuff…”

Smiling despite himself, Harry added. “They showed us a proposition of designs last month, and they’ll go on sale in a few days.”

“Plates, cups, pill boxes, all with our entwined initials in gold and silver, and some hearts, doves and ribbons.” I added, still sounding as weirded out by it as I had been when Edward told us about the collection.

Prices for the china pieces will start at £25 for a pill box, with tankards costing £35 and plates £40, and the international pre-sales demand had been so big they started a global shipping service and were expecting to sell at least twice as much as the anticipated. All profits from the sales will go towards the upkeep of the Royal Collection, which looks after the Queen’s extensive art collection and arranges public exhibitions.

Along with the thematic wedding china, the Royal Mint had unveiled a commemorative coin to celebrate our wedding – it was silver, big, and had our smiling faces on it with our names and the wedding date, third of August.

I couldn’t imagine who would want to pay to have tacky china with someone else’s initials and names or a coin with someone else’s faces on it, but I will tell you of one person I knew had been one of the first to buy it: my mother. I didn’t doubt we’d find it on display next time we visited my parents in Brazil.

The horserace went as horseraces go: the horses, which were better groomed than I was, were placed on position and then ran to the finish line. One of them won and that was it. We either celebrated or not. I stood for a few raced beside the Queen and Prince Philip, and the Queen’s almost juvenile excitement when her horse won made me jump in the scare when she shouted – I’m sure the internet would appreciate the picture.

The most interesting part was, however, hanging out with the Princess Royal. The only daughter of the Queen, Princess Anne had never been particularly nice to me. That day, however, she seemed to be a different person.

“Do you ride, Miss Silva?” she asked, conversationally, at one point.

“A little.” I told her. “I haven’t had much practice, sadly. But I’d love to.”

“We’ll have to arrange that.” She replied, smiling. “We have some horses up north. I’m a bit of an equestrian, you know… I could help if you’d like.”

I tried not to look too surprised. “That would be nice.”

I spoke to Harry about it a few minutes later, when we walked inside avoiding the sea of hats to get champagne.

“I mean, does she remember she used to hate me?”

“She does.” He replied, a little angry. “She just decided that now you are no longer working on entertainment and that you will be an official part of the family, you are worth her kindness.”

“Boy, when Lizzy said this is like a mafia she wasn’t kidding, was she?”

“You have no idea.”

Harry and I turned around to find a tall, stunningly gorgeous, picture-perfect blonde staring back at us.

“Kitty, hi!” Harry greeted, leaning in to kiss her spotless made-up cheek, smiling wildly. Maybe a bit too wildly for my taste, but I kept my polite smile. ”How are you? How long has it been?”

“Too long. Probably since Louis got married.”

“That right. God, how is he?”

“Good, enjoying his promotion at work like the workaholic he is. But you would know that if you bothered to see us more often.”

Harry seemed uncomfortable. “Oh, yeah. I mean, things are just so hectic.”

“They always are.” She replied, sweetly, a little too understanding, making me think she understood the reason behind his discomfort more than Harry would like to admit.

Which is probably why he chose this moment to change the subject, by turning to me. “Kitty, I don’t believe you’ve met my fiancé. This is Jenifer Silva.”

I smiled at the blonde, in her skintight white lacy dress, whose eyes were behind the sheer material falling from her delicate headpiece. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” She smiled through her glossy lips.

“Kitty is my cousin.” Harry explained, and to the confusion on my face, he quickly explained. “Kitty Spencer, from my mother’s side.”

“Oh.” I realized, finally. I recognized the last name from our guest list: there were a lot of Spencers on Harry’s side, all related to him through his late mother. I guessed Kitty was her niece, the daughter of her brother Charles Spencer.

“The last time we saw each other, sadly, was when my brother got married quite a while ago.” Kitty added. “Harry is terrible at keeping in touch.”

“I keep in touch,” he justified, “I’ve just been busy.”

“Sure, planning the wedding of the century.” She smiled. “Thanks for the invite, by the way, I’m looking forward to it.”

“Good, we’re excited.” Harry nodded. “I’ll be a good day.”

“Will dad have to meet your fiancé when she’s already your wife?” Kitty asked, giving Harry a sharp look.

“Well…” He sighed. “It’s been really chaotic… you know how it is. We’ll try to go and say hello.”

“Do.” She smiled. “He misses you.”

“Right. Well. Kitty, it was nice to see you. We have to go, though.”

We had literally no place to be, but I didn’t say anything.

“See?” She asked me. “Terribly awful at keeping in touch.”

“It was nice to meet you.” I told her, apologetically.

“You too. And don’t worry about the, uhm, how did you call it? Mafia.” She giggled. “You’ll get used to it.”

__

“Okay, so here’s the plan.” Harry started, as he drove us back up north a few days after Ascot. “We’ll get in and out in a jiffy. Say hello. Introduce you. Ask some personal questions. Comment on the house. Take a house tour, that should use up some time. Then you have a work appointment so unfortunately we’ll have to drive back to London.”

I giggled. “Yes, sir… but why is your uncle so bad?”

“He isn’t. He’s nice”

“Right. And that’s why I’m meeting him a month before we get married.”

“We don’t exactly have lunch with my father’s family every week.” He noted. “Kitty just likes to be dramatic.”

“Right… Kitty…”

“What?”

“You know… what’s her deal?”

“Uhm… She’s my uncle Charles’ eldest daughter.” He shrugged. “Four sisters, two brothers. Her father got married three times, so there’s that. He was my mother’s younger brother.”

“Did you ever hook up?”

“With my uncle?!”

I rolled my eyes. “With Kitty, Harry.”

“She’s my cousin!”

“So?”

“You know, you are the only person in the world that doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with shagging a cousin.”

“Whatever. She’s hot. Don’t tell me you never thought about it.”

“I didn’t!”

“Spare me, Harry! Even I would have made out with her if she was my cousin!”

He grinned. “Now I’m trying really hard not to picture that.”

“Ugh.” He laughed.

“Jen, we didn’t make out. What’s this about?” I shrugged. “Are you jealous?!”

“No.”

He didn’t insist, but was grinning the entire way to Althorp Estate, a grand property in Northampton, 121km from London. We drove in that afternoon and  I couldn’t help admire the thirteen thousand acres of the property that had been in the Spencer family’s hands for over 500 years.

“This is your uncle’s house?!” I asked, disbelieving, when we stepped out in front of the colossal red brick Tudor building.

“Uh, yeah.” Harry said, closing the door of the car and walking around it to join me as our security parked behind us.

“Okay.” I said, trying not to freak out too muc about the sixe of the house.

“Welcome,” a butler greeted us at the door, “Earl Spencer will be right with you, Your Royal Highness.”

“Thank you.” Harry nodded, leading me into the grandiose entrance room with a hand on my back.

I let him lead, as I was too busy admiring the artwork on the walls to notice where we were going.

We walked through a big room with black and white tiles and yellow ruffled curtains which had three of its walls covered from floor to ceiling with beautiful paintings of horses on perfectly real meadows.

“This is ridiculous.” I marveled.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Harry’s uncle said, joining us from the south door.

“It is.” I smiled.

“Uncle.” Harry greeted, hugging the tall, half-bald, round faced man.

“Harry. It’s good to see Kitty scared you into coming around for a change.”

They laughed. “This is Jenifer.” Harry added, and his uncle shook my hand enthusiastically.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Jenifer.”

“Likewise, sir.”

“Please, call me Charles.” He smiled. “Do you like it?” he asked, looking at the painting in the walls.

“Yes, very. It’s magnificent!”

“Most of these were commissioned to John Wootton in 1733 to reflect the family’s love for horses.” He explained. “At the time, he was considered to be the finest painter of horses in the country.”

“I can see that.”

“Congratulations on the wedding, by the way.” Charles Spencer said, as he walked us out of the room into another gallery.

“Thank you.” Harry smiled. “Are the kids not home?”

“Charlie is with her mother at the grandparents hose.” He explained. “The others are too independent these days to spend time with their old dad.”

“Right…” Harry chuckled.

“Laugh away, it’ll be you’ll in no time, you’ll see.”

“We are trying to get through the wedding first, uncle Charles.”

“And how is that going? Everything ready for the big day?”

“Mostly, yes.” I told him. “It’s quite unnerving realizing there’s nothing more to get done. Now we can only sit and wait, which I’m not particularly good at.”

“Jen is almost as much of an workaholic as Louis.”

“Good for you!” Charles said. “Nothing wrong with hard work.”

Harry let out an almost inaudible scoff.

“Here, here, Jenifer, if you like art, you’ll enjoy these,” he guided us into a drawing room with red walls and more paintings, and pointed at one of a lady. “That is Lavinia Bingham, Countess Spencer. And that is the first Earl Spencer, painted with his father and their servant.”

Who was, of course, black – a commented I refrained from. It occurred to me then I knew why the house seemed so impressive to me: it was because I had seen houses like this before. In Downton Abbey and every historic movie ever made where there’s a rich, high class family with a bunch of servants, who in the movies were still called slaves.

As impressive as the place was – as much as it reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from Pride and Prejudice – I couldn’t help feeling a little wrong when I realized this.

“The first John Spencer purchased Althorp estate in 1508 with the funds generated from the family’s sheep-rearing business.” Charles told us. “The mansion dates to 1688, replacing an earlier house that was once visited by King Charles I. This house once hosted Queen Mary and King George V. During the 18th century, the house became a major cultural hub in England.”

We walked around the mansion like that, with Harry’s uncle telling me the story of the Spencer legacy and how it would go to his son Louis after he died – which I found particularly bullshit considering I knew Kitty was actually older than him. Still, I was quiet and polite and expressed my most sincere amazement when Earl Spencer told us about the paintings and rooms and especially the pair of Italian black and Beschia marble blackamoor torchers in the doors of one of the halls, originally given to the First Duke of Marlborough as a present from General Charles Churchill. They even had a china museum and in the Garden Lobby, we were shown to a blue and gold cherubic Meissen chocolate set-for-one which was believed to have been made for Marie Antoinette in 1781 as a present celebrating the birth of her son, the Dauphin of France.

“Shall we have tea before or after you go down to the lake?” Charles asked once the tour was over.

“Oh, actually we won’t have time to do both.” Harry told him. “Jen has a work meeting she has to get to in London.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” His uncle returned. I gave him my Oscar-winning disappointment face, though I knew the excuse was total bullshit.

“We’ll have more opportunities in the future, though.” I smiled.

“Yes, of course! You must promise to bring him around more often, Jenifer.”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, I’ll walk you out, then.”

“Are we having tea outside? I think it might rain.”

“No, I’ll walk you out to the lake.” Charles replied. “You said you wouldn’t have time for tea.”

“Oh. Right. Actually I thought we could have tea and go to the lake some other day.”

“Don’t be silly. Jenifer is right, we’ll have more chances to do tea, but your future wife should meet your mother, that’s more important.”

As Harry sighed, I let the confusion sink in as we were ushered outside by his uncle.

“Meet your mother?” I asked Harry, in a whisper I hoped his uncle couldn’t hear.

I didn’t wanna be insensitive, but wasn’t that a little difficult considering she was, you know, dead?

“My sister, Jenifer.” Charles explained, so I guess he could hear me. “She is buried in the property, in a small island in our lake.”

Oh.

“Her favorite place in the estate.” He explained. “Well, her favorite outdoor place. Her favorite place in the house was the studio where she used to dance. We buried some of our favorite pets in the island. Diana wanted to join them, so we made sure of that when she left us.”

“Right. Of course.” I said, feeling suddenly very out of place.

Harry hadn’t told me this was a ‘visit my dead mother’s grave’ type of visit. Then again, he had gone to great lengths to try and get us out of it.

We walked out of the big mansion and through the rock pathway surround by the greenest of grass all the way until a sand pathway surrounded by threes. Earl Spencer told me the Round Oval lake in the property was created by Teulon in 1868 and a series of 36 oak trees had been planted along the access road to represent the years of his sister’s life.

“Thirty-six years… she was so young.” I marveled, melancholically.

“And in such a short time she was able to touch so many lives. She changed the world, I reckon.”

“She did.” I agreed.

“We planted thousands of plants here, including 100 white rambling roses on the island and 1000 white water lilies, donated by Stowe School, in the water around it. Those were her favorite flowers.” He added, pointing out the flowers around.

We had finally reached the lake, so Harry’s uncle gave him a hug, saying he should give us some privacy, and urged him to come around more often.

“And you, Jenifer, it was pleasure meeting you.” He smiled. “I look forward to bowing to you next month.” He winked, making giggle.

“Thank you for a lovely day, sir. You have a beautiful house.”

He walked away, and we kept on walking around the lake – which had a small island in its center filled with small trees. At the other side of the lake, sat the silhouette of a one-store temple with ‘Diana’ inscribed on the top, in the center of her years of birth – 1961 – and death - 1997. Inside it, covered by the small roof, was a black bench under a picture of her profile.

I stopped in front of it, and watched it in silence for a while before realizing Harry had walked on without stopping, so I hurried my step to reach him. It was a gray summer day, which was both weird and also awfully common in London, but there were little ducks swimming around the lake, and I busied myself watching them until we had rounded the lake to find a wooden bridge to the island.

Without a word, Harry walked on to it and I followed. There was a pathway of dirt amidst the island’s trees, which lead us across the island to the other tip, where a tall, gray, plinth with a big urn on top. The black marble plaque on it read simply: Diana (1961 – 1997). On the ground in front, a big arrangement of white lilies and roses. With three tops high above, the place was private and almost dark.

We stood before it for what felt like a long time, in absolute silence, as I wrecked my brain trying to think of a way to make this feel better for Harry. Should I make a joke so he knows I’m not uncomfortable? Should I say something profound and deep so he knows I understand?

The thing was, I knew, I didn’t understand. My parents were alive and well; I hadn’t had my life turned upside down in the most horrible of circumstances. I hadn’t had to grow up with my family’s most cruel moments splashed up on tabloid covers. How could I know?

I took a step to the side, closer to Harry, and held his hand in mine, leaning down to rest my head in his shoulder.

“What happens now?” I asked.

He seemed to wake from a trance and made to walk back the pathway. “We can go.”

“No, we don’t have to.” I assured, squeezing his hand and keeping him in place. “I’m just asking, you know… what do you usually do when you come?”

He shrugged slightly. “I don’t come often.”

“Why not?”

He sighed, looking at the urn. “I don’t like to think she’s here… like my uncle, you know, the way he said you should meet my mother. This isn’t my mother, Jay. It’s… it’s a stone. It’s some threes and yeah, maybe some bones deep in the dirt, but that’s not her, is it? I mean, I wish you could meet my mother too, but you can’t, can you? Because she’s dead.”

I nodded, slowly, trying to make sense of his words. “People grieve differently. You like to think your mother’s memory is more than this, your uncle just needs something more material to remember her by.”

He nodded. “I know. I just…” he frowned, and I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Anyway.” I went on. “What do you do, do you… do you talk to her?”

He grinned, uncomfortable. “No.”

“Why not?”

“It feels weird.”

“Why?”

“I told you, she’s not here. She’s up there somewhere with God, watching us. I can talk to her whenever, this is just some place.”

“Well, it’s as good a place as any, isn’t it?” I asked. “It feels like we should say something.”

“Be my guest.” He teased.

“…Okay.” I straightened up, and gave me a curious look.

I eyed the stone plinth and urn and the plaque with her name on it, the woman I would be calling my mother-in-law if things had been different. If felt awkward, with Harry by my side, grinning, so I took a couple of steps ahead so he was out of my eye view.

It felt too strange that this woman who had changed the course of the world was buried right here, but I tried to think of her as just my future husband’s mother, and I deeply wished she was around to tell me if I was making the right choices.

“So…” I started, knowing without seeing it that, behind me, Harry was smiling in victory at my uncomfortableness. I cleaned my throat, trying to block that thought, and focused on her. I forced the name on my mind: Diana. It alone meant so much it felt overwhelming to get the words out. Feeling overwhelmed, I felt the need to bend my knees in a slight curtsey.

“Did you just curtsey to a grave?!” Harry asked, and I could almost see him smile in his voice.

“Sh! This is a private moment.” I teased, glad he couldn’t see me blushing. I looked at the stone plinth again. “Hi.” I started, nervously. “I’m… I’m Jen. I’m marrying your son. I’m sure wherever you are you know that already, so… what can I say? Uhm… Very-very few things make me as sad as thinking I won’t get the chance to meet you. I would have been honored to.” I tried not to think too much of how it would have gone, if she was around to meet me. “Well, if you were anything like the rest of Harry’s family chances are you wouldn’t have liked me very much, but I like to think you would have… Anyway… Harry’s here.” I gestured blindly to my back as if she could see me. “He’s embarrassed, so I’m talking in his behalf. He misses you. Everyone does. Will is fine, too, by the way. I’m sure you’re seeing the awesome girl he married and your two adorable grandkids. Don’t worry, we’ll teach them about you. We’ll make sure they know the about the best things you left behind, like love and laughter…”

I tried to think of what else to say; I remembered how reluctant my parents had been about my relationship with Harry because of exactly her and her story. And how she ended. I remembered how scared they were I would end up the same.

I gulped. “If I’m being honest, I’m a little scared. I know it’s nonsense, as they are so kind and welcoming, but this isn’t exactly a regular family to marry into, is it?” I sighed. “I think you would have known what to say to that, and I really wish you were around so I could ask advice about it. But I’m not that scared, though.” I realized, shrugging. “I have Harry. That’s comfort enough that I’ll be okay. He’s…” I smiled, as my eyes dazzled off into the lilies. “He’s incredible. I didn’t get to know you, but I think he got that after you. He… he is kind, polite… smart… brave… caring… funny, loving. Compassionate. I’m sure you already know that. You would be proud. You…” I gulped again, trying to get rid of the painful knot on my throat. “You did a good job, ma-am… thanks for… for him.” I paused. “Hopefully I’ll be able to raise kids half as well as you did.” I took a deep breath. “Anyway, I… I just wanted you to know this. That you did a good job. We’ll make sure your legacy lives on. And, uhm… thank you.”

I curtsied again, and took three blind steps back. Harry’s arms rounded my waist on the last one as he hugged me tightly from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. I held on to his arms gently, touching his head with mine.

“I really wish she could have met you.” He whispered. “I wish she could have known how happy you make me.”

I smiled. “I wish that too.”

“Jen?”

I closed my eyes, letting the sweet, soft sound of his voice so close to my ear calm my heart.

“Yes?”

“I know you’re scared, but… I love you.” He said. “We’re gonna be fine.”

I turned my head to the side, placing a kiss on his cheek. “It’s okay, Mr. Prince. I’m not scared when I’m with you.”

[AN: Fun fact: this was one of the first scenes I thought of when I came up with this story =) Hope you liked it! I’m back home to good internet so this is the last of the pre-drafted chapter updated! TAlk to you soon!]

[phfanfic-closedheart]

Chapter 32

AN: So I haven’t updated in almost 2 months but let me explain myself. The past two months, I went through a lot and I was depressed because I was going through a rough patch with a break up. And 2 weeks ago, I knew that I was pregnant and my ex is the father, so I am going to be a single mom- it’s a complicated story but bear with me. I love you all! xx

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and the sun shining on my face.

 Turning to my side, my hand landed on an empty space- I sat up and looked around trying to find Alynna. “Alynna?” I called out and got no answer. I stood up from the bed and grabbed my boxers off the floor.

“Alynna?” I called again getting out of the room and the smell of food wafted through my nose- my stomach grumbled.

 Walking to the kitchen, it was then that I saw Alynna by the stove cooking in nothing but my white shirt on her body, her back turned unto me. She is swinging her hips from side to side singing to herself with a spatula on her hand- I smiled.

 She jumped when she turned and saw me standing there.

 “Good afternoon!” she greeted beaming and I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her body and kissing her lips. “Had a good sleep?”

 “A very good sleep.”

 She smiled, “That’s good! I cooked some Filipino breakfast..” she trailed off looking at the table. “Hmm. You might find some flavors odd-“ she started worried and I shook my head.  “And I should have had cooked lunch-“

 “I’ll eat anything. I’m starving.”

 “So, what do you want to do.. Scratch that, it’s 4 in the afternoon-“

 I laughed, “We can take a swim..”

 But Alynna’s face is in thought as I shovel food in my mouth and she picked on her own. “What’s wrong?” I finally asked before taking a sip of water and she smiled at me- keeping her lips pressed tightly together. “Tell me.”

 “It might be weird.”

 I scoffed, “Baby, we’re married- can’t file for divorce because of weird.”

 She narrowed her eyes at me but bit her bottom lip still in thought- worried. “Can we walk somewhere?” she asked looking at me seriously and I furrowed my eyebrows at her. But her stature continued looking thoughtful- yet anxious.

 “Of course.”

 After food, by 5:30, Alynna is leading me out of the back door, passing the wonderful infinity pool and to a small path at the side. We had been walking on a small foot path surrounded by tall mahoganies for a while when we came out into a clearing by a cliff overlooking the ocean- in the middle edge of the cliff is a huge bungalow- made out of glass.

 Alynna remained quiet pulling me towards the architecture. However, when we went in, I was overwhelmed by the view- the side and back walls were made with glass overlooking the ocean and sunset. The floor is made of black marble with vines of gold running through it- in the very middle is a white marble fountain with a cherub made of gold with her wings spread and her arms crossed above her chest looking up .

 This is the most peaceful place I had ever been in.

 “This is wonderful..” I whispered in awe as I walked around the fountain admiring it and I looked at Alynna who sat at the edge on the other side playing with the water in thought. I walked over to her and sat down beside her- she looked up. “Are you ok?” I asked and she nodded.

 “This is a memorial.. for my family.” She said dipping her hand on the water again and I watched her face closely- waiting for even a small smile. “I spent a month in Turkey two years ago to look for the best marble I can find- my dad loved marble floors.. Mom loved the ocean.. My sister loved the sunset.. And my brother in law is really fond of cherubs.. so I designed this place.”

 Alynna then looked up at me teary eyed and I can feel my heart breaking- by instinct, my hands cupped her face and wiped away the tear threatening to fall off of her eyes. “It would have had been good if they were there on my wedding day.” She whispered silently- her voice cracking. “And I know you would of had loved it if your mom was there too..”

 “I know..” I said kissing her softly on the lips. “But I know they’re all watching us from above..”

 She gave out a small laugh, “Yeah. I think they’re all quite proud of us-“

 “Mom might have already met your family.” I said out loud in thought and she looked up at me again. “I’m quite sure they already have met. Having a few wines and laughs watching me struggle through out wedding ceremony.”

 Alynna laughed punching me lightly on the shoulder, “We’re not that bad.”

 “William was laughing when I gave out my vows.” I shrugged and Alynna laughed louder. “And I know when you wanted to yawn so bad- Amari taught you well on how not to show it.”

 She blushed and looked down on our hands now intertwined. “I’m happy, you know.”

 “The past 24 hours of our bedroom activities-“

 “Harry!” Alynna whined

 I smiled, “Yes, Mrs. Windsor?”

 “I love you..” she said and my heart skipped a beat- my face heating up. “You’re blushing.” She commented smiling- her right hand touching my face.

 After a while, we went back into their house before it got completely dark and Alynna gave me a quick kiss before climbing up to the bedroom- I went straight off to find Alfred and Amari. With a property this big, it took me almost 15 minutes that they’re probably at the guest house at the back.

 “Your Highness.” Alfred said standing up from his corner and Amari stood up from her corner- closing her book and bowing down her head.

 “Sorry for barging in.” I apologized quickly “But I need to ask something.”

 “Sure, Your Highness.”

 “Is it possible that we take Alynna to see her family?”

 “But they’re dead-“

 “-in the cemetery, I mean.” I cut Amari off and she blushed. “I have a lot of surprises planned for us but I absolutely forgot about that one. I want her to visit her family’s grave.”

 “We can arrange it, sir. However, do you think Miss Alynna would be ready for that?” Alfred asked concerned.

 And the thought went into my head. Alynna hadn’t actually suggested anything about visiting her family’s grave. I don’t even know if they have a grave- or they were cremated. But I will be here for her- if she breaks down, I’ll just hold her.

 I looked at Alfred, “I don’t even know if there’s a grave to visit.”

 Alfred smiled, “They do, sir.”

 “It’s settled then. Put it in our agenda.”

 The next day, I was jumping on my seat inside the car while Alynna drove around the streets of her hometown. The traffic? Horrible. And a lot of honking. They don’t use pedestrian lights- people just cross as they wish. Alynna is laughing her head off everytime.

 “Why are we going to The Grill?” Alynna asked while she turned a corner and stopped because of traffic. “How did you even know about The Grill? I used to hang out there a lot when I was in highschool..”

 “You told me that.” I trailed off but didn’t finish for I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise for her. “I just wanted to try out the food. You kept on raving about how you missed the food from that place.”

 She smiled, “I just hope they haven’t changed the chef.”

 When we pulled over at the parking lot of the restaurant, I watched Alynna’s face as she took in the environment- then her eyes widened when she saw one particular hippie van. She breathed, “Oh my God.”

 And she was practically stumbling out of the car after she parked- she didn’t even bother putting it on park or turning off the engine. I can hear squeals and I just saw Alynna being jumped on by her group of friends- they all fell to the grass just laughing and hugging each other.

 “Let them..” I told Amari who’s about to walk over to them. “Let her be happy.”

 After a minute of watching them, I finally walked over and Alynna stood up and kissed me on the lips. “You did this?” she asked and I smiled at her.

 “Surprise.” I said and she laughed.

 “Come on, Alynna! Let us meet the hubby!”

 And boy, did I meet them. I wouldn’t of had thought Alynna would get along with her friends- I’m not saying they’re bad but they’re absolutely different from Alynna. For a lack of a better word, they’re hippies, they’re all about love and peace- but they tend to forget the responsibilities that come along with it. But all in all they’re good people- and really really funny.

 “Did you know that when we were in highschool- Alynna here wouldn’t even touch a single glass of wine.” Cha, one of her friends, said while Alynna laughed downing the last of the wine left on her glass. “She’s so scared of going home and smelling like alcohol.”

 “She won’t let us be near her if we smoked cigs.” Raimund, one of her gay friend, chimed in.

 “You all make me sound like a pussy.”

 “YOU WERE!” all of her friends yelled and Alynna just raised her new glass before drinking from it again.

 “Her first date? She was at arms length- the whole time!”

 “Oh God.” Alynna groaned. “It was horrible.” She whispered leaning over to my side.

 Trisha laughed, “Shut up, you had a huge crush on the dude since freshman year!”

 Alynna got a bit drunk from the night and I was laughing while I carried her on my back to the car. “Come on, love.” I laughed when she tried to give me a kiss while I tried to put seatbelt on her.

 She giggled, “I love you.”

 And I laughed kissing her on the forehead before going to the other side of the car and getting in- Alynna was already knocked out by the time I had fastened my seatbelt.

 “She’s absolutely knackered.”

 When we got home and I had placed her on the bed and removed her clothes for her, I sat at the edge of the bed and stared at her. Here she is peaceful, the most wonderful woman that I had ever met. So free. So carefree. So human. I am terrified of what can happen once we’re back in England- I am terrified of how she will react to the life after a year or a decade and I am scared that I will be too scared to lose her by the time she wants to go- I hope she won’t. I hope she will always stay.

 “Harry..” she moaned stirring and I touched her leg to let her know I am here and she stopped stirring. “I really love you.” She whispered before falling back asleep.

 I smiled. Even on her drunken state, she looks for me. What am I scared off? We had been through a lot and still, she chose to marry me, to be with me.

 Right now, life is wonderful.

[ourplaceinthecosmosphff]

Chapter 29. Borrowed Time

‘Harder days are coming. The loan of borrowed time will be due on the horizon. (...)’ - Ingeborg Bachmann

The most northern village in Savoy was Valois-Narcisse, so small that it wasn’t actually reachable by any form of public transportation. Not a lot of people in Savoy even knew Valois-Narcisse by name; Bayona, on the East Coast, was the closest reference point, a beach village considered an under-rated touristic spot. Historically, Valois-Narcisse was populated by sheep and eggplant farmers, not a very sexy niche, and it was still how the village’s only export to local and regional farmer’s markets.

For the following few weeks after Ascot, every time Harry tried to talk about it, his phone corrected the name to ‘value narcissism’, so by the time I drove past the small, rusted iron sign that read its name, I couldn’t help but smile.

One of the reasons Valois-Narcisse was so abandoned was that it was mostly situated up a mountain. Not at the top of the mountain, exactly, although parts of it were. The village just stretched along the mountain, with most of its commerce and eateries, however scarce, down below, and the houses built towards the top, including a couple of small hostels and, lucky for us, one very odd Airbnb.

The houses, bridges and streets were all built of stone and wood, with wildflowers and weeds growing in between, and across the mountain, beyond the village, stood the vast, beautiful Celtic Sea. On days of low tide, locals swore they could see the outline of the Irish coast on the horizon, at least according to the description on Airbnb.

But even if that was an exaggeration, we wouldn’t have cared, because what drew Harry and I to Valois-Narcisse that weekend was how desolate and empty it was. Paparazzi wouldn’t dream of finding us there, so it was there that we scheduled our first getaway. Our first secret rendezvous. Or, as Harry kept reminding me, our first date.

We had been texting non-stop since I left his house after Ascot, about what happened, and also about all things around us, what we were doing or not, and a lot of nothing. It was over text that we made the plans to meet in Vallois-Narcisse for the first time since getting together, it was over text that we discussed the latest of the Adrien saga (he’d been seen out in a club with the singer-girlfriend and their friends), and it was over text that he informed me that since we never got to go on our date the previous year, during our weekend in Vallois-Narcisse, he was going to pull all the stops to ‘take me out’’.

“Are we going out for dinner?” I asked, in our Airbnb, while I got ready in the middle of the afternoon.

“Not really.” He replied, from the small sitting room right outside our suite. “And stop trying to guess, just get ready.”

He had refused to tell me anything about the date, claiming it was supposed to be as real as the real one would have been and in the real one, it would have been a surprise.

“It’s very hard to get ready when I don’t know what we’re doing.” I sighed. “How casual am I supposed to look?”

“Casual.” He replied, unhelpful. “Maybe wear sneakers.”

“Well, that’s one decision off my conscience.” I mumbled to myself, staring at my options laid out in the bed, my small suitcase open on the floor.

I had chosen a preppy, plaid short skirt in shades of white and blue, and I had all the tops I had brought in the bed as possible options. For shoes, I removed the flats from the lineup, and put on my white Nike’s, turning around to look at the tops again.

“Are you ready? It’s time.” Harry called from the other room.

“Just–! Just give me ten minutes!” I shouted back, nervously.

I realized how ridiculous it was. It was just a gesture – a sweet, romantic, gesture – to have a first date when we had already slept together more than once. More than twice. The previous night, for instance. It made no sense, it was just sweet. So there was no reason to be nervous, and I knew that. Rationally, I knew that.

Still, as I looked at the clothes I brought, I hated every single one. I threw the Jurassic Park tee back into the suitcase – too casual –, and looked at the Kimono top, a greenish blue shade, long, loose sleeves, a nice, laidback fit to contrast with the skirt. The other two options, a tight, square neckline, navy blue, crop top, and a loose, green, blouse with spaghetti sleeves, both matched the skirt and were casual enough, but seemed more appropriate for the weather.

“…It’s been ten minutes.” Harry’s voice came back from the other room, patiently cautious.

“Coming!”

In one panicked move, I grabbed the green, strappy blouse and put it on. I rushed to the bathroom and quickly applied some tinted sunblock to my face. I wanted to apply actual makeup, but convinced myself it was silly. He’d seen me without makeup many times already. It wasn’t a real first date, no matter how big the knot on my stomach was, so I just grabbed a pair of earrings, my every-day necklace, and sunglasses, and burst through the door in a hurry, ready to run as if we had an actual reservation, even though I was perfectly aware that no restaurant in this village town worked like that.

“Okay, I’m ready, let’s go!” I said, looking at him, who startled up from the couch and looked me up and down, appreciatively.

“Mary, wow.” He smiled, slowly, approaching me with careful steps. “You look…”

“What are you doing?!” I laughed, blushing. “You saw me five minutes ago. I look the same. I just put on a different, very casual, outfit.”

“Will you just pretend with me? Please?” He sighed, rolling his eyes. “We never got to have our first date, just… let’s just pretend we’re a normal couple today.”

I shook my head, grinning. “…Fine.”

He took another step towards me and, from seemingly thin air, produced a white daisy.

I sighed. I wanted to say ‘really?’, but I bit down my sarcasm, and took my flower.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful!” I said, adding a little more emotion than necessary.

He sighed heavily, making me laugh. “Come on, ma’am, we have a date.”

“Yes, sir.”

Our Airbnb was in a secluded property at the end of a dead-end granite driveway off of the main road. Instead of taking that direction, however, we walked towards the hike trail in the opposite direction. I wanted to ask what was on the huge backpack he’d brought, but I knew he was just waiting for the opportunity to tell me it was a surprise, so I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

He announced we had arrived when we reached a clearing amongst the trees. The grass and weeds were a little high, but nothing that made it impossible for us to sit down and enjoy ourselves. Especially because, as I soon discovered, Harry had a picnic blanket in his backpack. Because Harry had a whole picnic in his backpack.

“A picnic?!” I asked, excited.

“You like picnics?” He smiled, setting the blanket down.

“I love picnics!” I said, excitedly. “Don’t go to many, because… you know, outside, not very safe.”

“Yes, I do know.” He nodded, going through his bag, “Fortunately this place has enough privacy for us.”

“How did you even know to come here?”

“I googled it.” He replied, simply.

From his bag, he took out a bottle of sparkly wine and two ceramic looking plastic plates, which he sat down at opposite ends of the blanket. He then placed two linen napkins, folded, on top, with a set of cutlery over each.

“You thought this through.” I noticed.

“Of course I did.” He shrugged, removing a piece of paper from his pocket and reading it quickly. “I do have visual aids, though.”

In his bag, he also had acrylic Tupperware with a number of cheeses, which he then laid out on a wooden board. In another container, he had brought an assortment of cut veggies with a smaller cup inside, with ranch, which he remembered was my favorite. For our main course, he dramatically revealed large sandwiches from his favorite London restaurant, perfectly packaged and cut, for easier consumption. And for dessert, there were also a number of fruits and two small pots with what looked like cheesecakes.

“This is… incredible.”

He seemed the most flattered I had ever seen him.

“Thank you!” He said, folding his note quickly.

“Can I see that?”

“What? Oh, no, it’s just a little reminder of where things go–Oh–okay.”

I walked over to him and grabbed the paper before he could return it to his pocket; it was a list of instructions on how to set up the picnic, in his own handwriting. It even said ‘transfer cheese to wooden board’ and included a drawing of how to set up the napkins on top of the plates, with the cutlery on top of the napkins.

“This is… so sweet.” I gushed, watching him blush. “Where did you get this from?”

“I googled picnics.” He shrugged. “Well, first I googled first date ideas. Then saw the picnic idea and went on google street view to see if this place would be good for one. Then googled how to do a picnic.” He shrugged, grabbing the paper back and folding it. “Not a big deal.”

It was the way he blushed slightly and still made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal that he put in that much effort into giving us one afternoon where we could pretend we were a normal couple, untouched by tragedy. That’s what made my heart swoon for him.

I didn’t even have time to kiss him, though. He was so adamant to continue as if nothing was the problem that he just held my hand and sat down, pulling me with him.

“So…” He started, smiling. “So good that we are finally able to do this.”

“It is.” I agreed, amused.

“Wine?”

“Yes, please.”

“So, tell me, what is it that you do?” I laughed so loudly he reluctantly joined me.

“I’m sorry, it’s just too weird.”

“Come on!” He complained. “Like a normal first date, just go with it.”

“Okay, okay…” I sighed, still smiling. “What I do for a living… I… I am a lawyer.” He gave me an annoyed look. “What? If I’m talking to someone who doesn’t know what I do for a living, I’m not gonna tell them.”

“Fair. But be honest.”

I sighed. “Alright. I have a law degree from Harvard, which I’m really proud of, and I mostly have experience with copyright law… But I am not practicing right now.”

“Really? How so?”

I gave him an annoyed look this time. “I… I made a career change last year towards working on my… family business.”

He grinned. “How interesting.”

“Thank you. It’s been very rewarding.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t an easy choice to make.”

My smile faltered slightly. “It wasn’t fully my choice… But I’m happy with it, regardless.” I added, to assuage his reaction.

He nodded, silently. After a while, he added, “Are you?”

I shifted the position of my legs under me, using the time it took to think it through.

“Yes. Yes? I think so.” I shrugged. “Honestly, I haven’t really stopped to figure that out… Not exactly a priority.”

“It should be.”

I smiled. Not knowing how to change the subject, I reached out to the platter next to me and grabbed a piece of cheese.

“This is really good.” I added.

He smiled, accepting of the change of subject.

“Alright, time for you to ask something.”

“Oh. Okay… Uhm.” I finished chewing slowly as I thought about it. “Where… are you from? Originally?”

He rolled his eyes, smiling. “I’m from England.”

“Oh, really? Interesting.” I said, overly impressed. “Where in England?”

“London.” He added, grinning. “I was born and raised in Central London.”

“Fancy.” I added, appreciatively, making him chuckle. “Do you like living there?”

He considered this. “…not particularly.”

I stopped chewing. “Really?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know… I mean, I liked it, yes, in that… generic, mandatory way you always feel you must like the place you are from. Like, I will defend it if I must. But… if I had a choice, would I want to spend the rest of my life there? I’m not sure I would.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Well.”

“Go on.” He said, grinning.

“Oh, I just mean… I love New York, it was one of the best experiences of my life living there for a year after law school, even if those memories are tainted with the presence of my ex… But as much as I love New York, and a lot of other places I’ve been to… coming home to Savoy is just…” I shrugged. “I don’t know, I couldn’t imagine staying away forever, you know? It’s home.”

He nodded. “I don’t know, I just don’t have that sense of attachment to England. To my family and friends, sure. But to the place? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

We were silent for a while, eating cheese and drinking wine, and pondering over the words said. Then he perked up again, cheerily, and said,

“Tell me about your family.”

I gave the sky an eye roll. “…Fine.”

“Wow. So aggressive.” He noted, chuckling.

“Shut up.” I said. “Okay. Well, I’m the oldest of three. My brother was the middle child, but he passed away last year. He was three years younger than me and we got along really well. My sister is about eleven years younger than me, so we are not as close, though we’ve gotten a lot closer recently.”

“That’s nice to hear.” He smiled.

“My mother was born in Northern Savoy, her father is French, her mother is Savoyen. My grandfather has a property management and consultancy business, and my grandmother was always a stay-at-home mother. My mother only has one sister, Aunt Katherine, who’s now taken over my grandfather’s business, though her husband, Merlin, who is a Lord, seems to be making most of the calls. That is the root of most of the disagreements between my mother and Aunt, currently.”

“Tough.” He noted.

“Aunt Katherine has two children, Camille is the eldest, she’s been married to Hamilton Costeau for a few years, he’s a hotshot nightclub owner from the capital, and they’re expecting their first child currently. Her brother, Adam, is a freelance graphic designer, he’s married to a writer named Marcia. They’re probably my most normal relatives except that they’re wild, crazy hippies.”

He laughed. “How so?”

“They had a fully vegan wedding in a bowling alley and they live in a boat.”

He almost spit out his wine laughing. “What?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna need more information.”

“There’s not really that much more to it. To be fair, the vegan menu was actually pretty good and bowling is fun. Haven’t been bowling since, so it’s a good memory. We don’t see them a lot, because of the boat.”

“When you say boat…?”

“Not a yatch or anything like that. It’s one of those small, house boats, like in Amsterdam? Except they actually use it to sail around since they’re both freelance and can work from anywhere.”

“Honestly… that sounds great.”

“They’re cool.” I nodded. “Let’s see… on my father’s side, he has two older sisters. Marilou Bondy is in her sixties, her husband is a Vice Admiral in the navy, and they have two kids in their mid-thirties. Zaccharie, married to Amber, they have two kids who are three and five years-old. Zacc is a business manager in a shipping company, his wife has a graduate degree in Psychology, but now is a stay-at-home mom. Zacc’s sister, Heloise, is CEO of a multinational company, and her husband is a doctor. They’re by far my relatives who’ve got it together the most.”

“Sounds like it, those are some big jobs. They have kids?”

“A two year old, adorable. All my cousin’s children are. We have good genes.” He laughed. “Let me see, what else? My father’s second oldest sister, Stephanie, married a Lord of Luxembourg, uncle Ellis, so they live there. They have three kids, Josephine, Klaus, and Catarina.”

“Klaus! I know Klaus!” He said, happily, “Love Klaus. He’s fun!”

“Yes, he’s… very you.” I noted, amused. “How did you two meet, anyway?”

“Oh, he met a friend of mine during gap year, so my friend introduced us at a festival later on.”

“Of course.” I nodded. “As you know, he works for an investment firm. His youngest sister, Catarina, is twenty-three, she took a few years after school to figure it out, so she’s still finishing her degree. And the oldest, Josephine, is an interior designer, and she’s actually getting married next month, to Marius Allard, who owns a network of gyms in Luxembourg.”

“Royal wedding?” He asked.

“A small one, but yes.”

“You going?”

 “Yes.” I smiled. “Anyway. Then, there’s my father, the middle child, oldest brother, and they also have two youngest brothers. Or, had. Adrien’s father died many years ago of lymphoma, so now Adrien is next in line for the throne after Lourdes. You know him, so no need to go into it.”

“How is he doing in New York, by the way?” He asked, pouring us more wine. “I read he and the singer were seen partying in a boat?”

“For the fourth of July, yes.” I nodded. “My father and the advisors are… how can I say it? Pissed.” He chuckled. “Celebrating an American holiday, half naked, in a boat, with a bunch of celebrities, including his pink-haired girlfriend… they want him to come back.”

“Of course they do.”

“Adrien has a younger sister, Natalie, who’s my favorite.” I said, gushing. “She’s awesome, sweet, positive, always down for a good chat, though not big into parties or crowds–”

“So, the opposite of Adrien?”

“Yes.” I laughed. “Nat is getting her masters in Sorbonne, she studies literature and communications. Their mom, Princess Annette, has been a working royal for many years. Finally, my youngest uncle, Prince Albert, is also a working royal. He divorced his wife about five years ago, which was a huge scandal at the time, but we’ve managed to ride it out, and now everyone gets along fine. His ex-wife is even still a working royal, as well.”

“Woah.” He said, brows raised. “We could learn a thing or two from about how to handle divorce in a healthy way.”

“Agreed.” I said, teasing. “They have three kids. Maryanne is eighteen, currently serving her minimum military course post-graduation. Her brother James is sixteen, he’s in boarding school in Switzerland, and Sarah, who’s ten, attends the same boarding school as Lourdes… and that’s it. Unless you want to hear about my extended family, in which case we might be here a while.”

He nodded. While he digested the info-dump I’d just given him, I took the time to finish my wine and have some veggies and ranch.

“Question.” He said, unwrapping our sandwiches, “Why did you only mention two or three working royals?”

“My father’s oldest sisters lost their title upon marriage, and Aunt Stephanie lives in Luxembourg. Aunt Marilou and her husband do work sometimes, but that’s mostly because of her husband’s Admiral job. So, it’s mostly my father and his brothers who work for the Crown. Since Uncle James died, Adrien and his mom work, too, although he’s in New York now. His sister is still in school, so she’s excused. And that leaves uncle Albert and his ex-wife, and their kids are too young. There’s also some cousins of my father who are working royals, though they also have private careers.”

He nodded. “So that’s why you said you would have to become a working royal eventually.”

“Yep. That’s why a lot of the burden was already mine before, and also why I knew it would eventually be mine again. I just… I had hoped I’d have some time in-between.”

“Well,” he took the cheese platter and moved it to the side, leaning in closer to me. “You have time now.”

“I do, don’t I?” I smiled. “What should I do with it?”

“I have an idea.” He grinned, leaning in the rest of the way to touch his lips to mine.

His hand cupped my jaw as we kissed, my skin warm either from the sun or his touch. I put my glass down, mindlessly, not caring when I felt it fall to the grass. I slid my hand across his hair and laid back down, pulling him on top of me.

It was just one afternoon of borrowed time, but it was ours.

— ---- —

It was a cloudy summey day, not great weather for a royal wedding, but it would have to do because Princess Josephine Anne-Marie Elyse of Luxembourg was ready to become Mrs. Marius Allard.

Normally, we wouldn’t all go to a royal wedding just because we were royals, but we were family this time, so we arrived, my family and I, in Luxembourg two nights before. The rehearsal dinner went without a hitch, and so the following morning we got ready in our hotel and waited with other foreign family members for the shutles that would drive us to the church.

I had changed Harry’s contact on my phone to Hedwig – a name I took from Harry Potter – just in case someone saw me texting him, which was bound to happen as were texting so much more often. This didn’t stop my heart from nearly freezing when I received a photo from him. It was a mirror selfie showcasing him in his ceremony military uniform, black and red, with medals to his chest. The text read: ‘beautiful day for a wedding’.

I sighed; A few weeks prior to this, Harry had excitedly informed me during a late-night facetime call, that his family had assigned him to represent them to Josephine’s wedding.

“Why?!” I asked then, astonished.

“Ouch.” He said, sarcastic. “I’m great at weddings.”

“I’m not saying you’re not.” I said, rolling my eyes. “And of course I want to see you! But… my whole family is going to be there! Isn’t your father supposed to do these things? Or your uncle?”

“My father will be busy, my uncle was going to go, yes, but turns out his son has pneumonia so he’s staying put.” He shrugged. “And since I know Klaus, they figured I would be more familiar to the bride and groom than my brother.”

I was quiet, biting my lower lip nervously.

“What? This is good! I’m excited I get to see you all dolled up so soon!”

But I couldn’t get my excitement to match his – and I tried. It was just too risky, not to mention it felt like the day would be torture. To be near him again and have to pretend I didn’t want to hold his hand? Kiss his lips? Rip the clothes right off his body? It was too much.

Sighing, I went to the bathroom and discreetly took my own mirror selfie showcasing my light pink dress with a darker pink on a slit falling from my hips, and my large disc fascinator, and texted it to him.

‘It is unfair how perfect you look’, he replied. It made me smile, and I tried to hold on to that feeling as we rode to the church.

As family, we were close to the last group to arrive, so when I walked down the red carpeted entrance towards the church behind my parents, all I could think was that Harry must already be inside.

We trotted behind, stopping to salute the military battalion in formation under the country’s flag – a Luxembourg tradition. Military personnel saluted, civilians lowered their heads or curtsied. Since mandatory minimum service was still considered service, I saluted with my father, as mom and Lourdes curtsied.

Inside, we were ushered to the front of the church by a palace aide. Because of the odd number of seats, our parents and I were seated one row in front of Lourdes, who found herself sitting between, of all people, Adrien and Harry.

My parents greeted Adrien, who was there fresh from a plane from New York, and then looked at Harry, who received from then a curt nod before they turned to the front.

"How's...? Uhm?" I started, as my cousin kissed my cheeks.

"Sienna?" He asked, sighing. "Her name is Sienna."

"Right. Sienna."

"She's good. She's recording a new album." He replied.

"How... fortuitous." I nodded, as he took his seat again.

Before I sat down, Harry managed to give me a sneaky wink. I blushed, and turned to the front.

We seemed to be the last frontier between family and important guests, as next to Harry sat other royals and in front of us, were mostly empty seats that filled quickly after we arrived.

Just as the music started, Lourdes, who'd been chatting excitedly between Adrien and Harry, sighed loudly and stage-whispered,

"Ah, damn, I'll barely be able to see Josephine from here." She complained. “Margueritte’s hat is too big.”

As calm as I could, I turned to her, taking the care to make myself sound annoyed. "Do you want to trade seats?"

"Really?" She asked, "Is that allowed?"

I looked at my parents, who were already discreetly looking at us.

"Is it?" I asked.

"I believe so." My father said.

Mom leaned closer to me. "Are you sure you don't mind, chérie?"

I smiled, already getting to my feet. "It's fine. At least this way she'll be quiet."

"I heard that." Lourdes said as she passed me by.

I took her seat and crossed my legs at my ankles, holding my head high facing forward, pretending I didn't see the grin on Harry's face. 

Josephine looked breathtaking; lace bodice, three quarter sleeves, flowy, tulle, ball gown skirt, hair pinned back in a low hairdo, a long veil falling down from her family’s tiara – a Luxembourg tiara –, matching diamond earrings. It was difficult to take my eyes from her, except from one thing.

Harry was touching my hand. His fingers very gently grazed mine, slowly stretching until our middle fingers were enlaced. It was such a simple gesture. Such a light touch. But so many people around who were not meant to know about us. My heart beat faster on my chest and I felt my skin warmer as I remembered all the other ways in which that hand had touched me. I risked a look at him, who stared ahead determinedly.

As the song came to a slow end, I pulled my hand from his, startled, thinking for some reason the silence would make us more visible.

The priest began to speak in a monotone, calm voice up front. By my side, Harry adjusted himself in his seat, leaving his left knee to lightly, but very deliberately, touch mine.

I bit down a grin, sighing. Thinking two could play this game, I reached for the neckline of my dress with my hand, adjusting it slightly as if to fix something, but ‘accidentally’ pulling it down sligthly. As it was V shaped, this enlarged my cleavage only slightly, especially as I crossed my arms over my lap, pulling my breasts together.

I stared ahead, ignoring Harry, but I felt his leg press harder against mine.

“Beautiful wedding, isn’t it?” I whispered to him, pointing my chest in his direction.

“Is this another catholic tradition?” He whispered very lightly leaning closer to me. I smiled, blushing.

I looked down at my lap, fiddling with the program. I had no idea where we were on it, which is why I startled again as suddenly everyone rose from their seats to sing another hymn. I followed, pulling my dress up nervously, but I did leave my arm down hoping Harry would touch my hand again.

It took him what felt like the whole song, but then he finally did. I allowed my own fingers to caress his this time, missing being able to touch him, feeling my palms sweating as the thought.

When we sat down again, and someone else started speaking, he leaned down slowly and asked, whispery:

“Truth or dare?”

I sighed dramatically, and gave him a stern look, hiding my amusement.

“Truth.” I mouthed.

He grinned, and leaned down again. “What were you thinking about during the song?”

What he was asking was, of course, ‘what were you thinking about while our hands touched secretly in the middle of this very full church?’

I leaned to him, but starting ahead, said, “About how good it felt last time you fingered me–”

He sighed, heavily, leaning away from me, adjusting his tie as if it was the most important thing in the world.

He didn’t allow me to ask it back, his eyes stared firmly and frustratingly ahead for the rest of the – very long – service.

When Josephine and Marius walked out as husband and wife, we all waited for their close families to follow and then to the aides to guide us away at the right time. Harry continued to deliberately look away from me at all times. 

We were ushered back into the shuttles with the rest of the family, everyone talking excitedly about their favorite moments of the ceremony. I kept my comments to the dress, the only part I remembered in detail.

The reception was held in the palace; I didn’t see Harry again for a very long time. No one seemed to have noticed anything out of the ordinary, other than Lourdes who asked if I was mad at him because we seemed to have ‘barely spoken’.

As all the guests were in their seats, I finally found Harry in a distant table with other foreign royals who weren’t family. There were speeches, there were dances, there were entrées and champagne, and Harry’s eyes continued to find mine whenever I looked at him. Luckily, I was able to distract myself by my family grilling Adrien about his inappropriate girlfriend.

Conversation was the sound of the night in between courses when I decided to find a bathroom to re-apply my lipstick.

“If you pass by a waiter, would you ask for someone to bring me more water?” Lourdes asked as I left.

“I’m not your maid.”

“Really? It’ll cost nothing–”

“Shut up, of course I’ll do it.”

She rolled her eyes in response.

I was distracted, looking around for a waiter, when my eyes found Harry’s again. This time, too intense to look away. He put his hands in his pocket and pointedly walked out of the hall.

I sighed. It was too idiotic a choice to follow him. Yet, there I was. My feet moving of their own accord.

He walked off down the hallway, calm as can be, stopping only to ask an aide for directions. Down another hallway, he turned to the right, before confidently opening a door, turning back to lock his eyes on mine, and walk inside.

I bit my lower lip and looked around. There was a staff member walking off in the distance, but no one around other than that. I didn’t know if that would last. I walked to the door,  and casually looked around one more time. No one was watching. No one around. I took in a deep breath, and walked inside.

I quickly closed the door behind me, but I had no time to notice anything else. Harry’s lips were on mine, strongly, arms framing me in place against the door. One hand turned the lock, the other traveled up and down my side, his heavy breath on my skin.

“That was not okay.” He said, voice low, anguished, against my neck. “Back there.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said, innocently. “All I remember is a lovely ceremony.”

He grinned against my neck in between kisses. “Fuck you.”

"It's true.”

“You liked when I fingered you, right?” He asked, lightly biting my earlobe. “Maybe I should do it again, then.”

My whole body trembled at the thought of going back outside, pretending nothing had happened, still pulsating with his touch on me.

“…maybe you should.” I said, weakly, feeling his large hand grasp my breast. “Right here. Right now.”

“…that would be really stupid, now, wouldn’t it?” He asked, reaching down for the hem of my dress, pulling it upwards. “We wouldn’t want to be caught… what would they think?”

“It would be such a scandal.” I agreed, feeling his hands now grip my thighs, pulling me up in one quick move.

He pinned against the wall, legs around his waist, leaving me in the perfect position to feel him thrusting his hardened dick against my crotch.

He touched his forehead to mine, and grinned.

“You’re fucking torture, Your Royal Highness.”

I grinned, happily, wrapping my legs tighter around him.

“You like it.”

He smiled in response, his hands rounded my thighs to reach below in between my legs, finding a path under my wet underwear.

“I do.” He confessed, touching me like it was the very first time. “I like it a lot.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: Well. This was a lot. LOL what do you think??? A lot of...stuff coming so I wanted to take a chapter for happiness only. Also, I promise all that family tree stuff is important. THANK YOU FOR READING AND SORRY I’M LATE! Have a grat week! Next chapter: invictus games! harry’s birthday! MM and Harry get careless... tune in to find out what happens ;) ]

[onewildride-phff]

Chapter Fourteen

(A/N: I hope you all like it. Please tell me what you think. This chapter has about twenty pages, which is the longest I have ever written for a chapter. So I hope you like it.) 

“You know, you can just go back home.” Harry mumbled under his breath. They were sitting in the waiting room. “I don’t know if you have work.” He told her.

“It’s fine, I’m gonna stay.” Deidre said as she looked at him. It had been almost two hours, and still no one came out to see them.

Finally, after a long wait, one of the nurses finally came over.  Deidre and Harry got up at the same time and followed the nurse to a private room. The nurse looked like a deer in headlights. Deidre could tell that the nurse was in shock, It’s probably not everyday a member of The British Royal Family was in the emergency room.

“All right, I just have to take some vitals, um...” The nurse hesitated. She didn’t know what to call him.

A smile grew on Harry’s face. “You can just call me Harry.” He told her. The Nurse nodded her head, The nurse had her back towards Deidre, completely oblivious to her presence.

Deidre glared at the nurse suspiciously. The nurse started on taking some of Harry’s vitals. She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

The nurse smiled as she looked up at Harry. “Everything look fine, The doctor should be in shortly.” Deidre could have sworn she saw the nurse winking at him. Deidre didn’t say anything as the nurse made her way out of the room. After, she let out a harsh huff.

Harry smiled as he saw the nurse walk out of the room. He heard Deidre clear her throat and turned her to her. He saw that she didn’t look pleased. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you blind or something? She was totally hitting on you!” Deidre said as she pointed to the door that the nurse had just walked out of.

“So? Is someone jealous?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

“What?” Deidre scoffed and shook her head. “Why would I be? I think it’s highly unprofessional.”

“Just admit you’re jealous.” Harry chuckled.

“Fine, what if I am?” Deidre said sternly. She was getting very annoyed with how pushy Harry was being.

“As you’ve said before, we are not technically together, so I don’t see why you would be jealous.” Harry said.

“Ugh! You know what, you and your nurse friend would be great together!” Deidre yelled, she turned on her heels and walked out of the room.

“Shit..” Harry mumbled under his breath. She could see how hurt she was, he got off and walked out of the room. However, he couldn’t find where she had went. He had fucked things up, again. “Damit.” He said.

Deidre walked out of her bedroom the next morning. She had decided on making coffee before going to work. She was just standing in the kitchen as Bella walked in. “Good morning..”

“How was your date?” Bella asked as she opened the refrigerated and grabbed a bottle of Orange Juice.

“It wasn’t a date, we only had dinner.” Deidre said as she began to pour the coffee into a traveling mug.

“Fine, whatever want to call it, How was it? How was Harry?” Bella said, she obviously wanted to know all the details. She took a sip of her orange juice.

“He was great...” Deidre sighed. “He’s so pleasant and he’s an amazing cook.” Deidre smiled.

“Really? I thought he would have his own personal chief or something.” Bella said as she interrupted her.

“No personal chief anywhere. He just got hurt after we finished dinner and well, I took him to the E.R” Deidre explained, she knew she shouldn’t tell Bella everything. However, she needed to get it off her shoulders.

“Oh, is that why he has a bandaged on his hand?” Bella asked, she quickly got her phone and showed her a photo.

“Wow, When was this?” Deidre was surprised. She had no clue he had an engagement.

“Oh, it was almost an hour ago. However, there are already articles speculating what happened. What did happen?” Bella said as she grabbed her phone out of Deidre’s hands.

“He cut his palm open trying to grab shards of a broken plate he broke. They are seriously making a hug deal about a couple of stitches?” She said, she was taken back. She knew they would report on the most ridiculous stories, however, this had to take the cake.

“Well, the media wouldn’t be in a frenzy if it weren’t for these photos.” Bella said as she typed in something in her phone. “Here, care to explain?” Bella showed her the pictures, and she felt like a breath was caught in her throat. She didn’t know what to say.

There she was, a picture of her and Harry walking together into the theatre. Luckily, whoever got the photo took it from behind. They did not know her identity. But that didn’t stop them from speculating. Deidre read the headlines “Harry’s Mystery Women: Who is this Brunette Bombshell?” She rolled her eyes, she was no bombshell. “Oh you’ve to be kidding me, I told him that disguise was ridiculous.” She explained.

“And you say you two aren’t dating.” Bella said, she started to laugh as she put her phone down on the kitchen table.  

“It’s complicated..” Deidre huffed as she walked out of the kitchen. She looked at the clock and saw that she needed to get to work. She quickly grabbed her bag.

“How is it complicated?” Bella said, confused at what her roommate meant. She followed Deidre out of the kitchen. “You two love each other, don’t deny it. I could see the way he was looking at you.” She explained.

Deidre turned and looked at Bella. “Love is a very strong term to use for someone your..your..fond of..” Deidre explained.

“Then what do you call going on movie dates? What do you call going to dinner at his place?” Bella said.

“How about you just mind your own damn business!” Deidre cried out. She sighed, she never snapped at anyone, however, Bella was getting on her nerves. “Now, I’m going to work.” With that Deidre quickly walked out of her flat. She huffed, she felt her day wasn’t starting well at all.

After Deidre was finished with her second and last class of the day. She had decided to stay after to have lunch and grade papers. She was half way through when she decided to look up more about the story of her and Harry. She knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help herself. She took a bite of her salad she had packed the night before, and typed in Harry’s name, there were a number of articles. She clicked on the most recent, a article from The Sun.

Deidre rolled her eyes at the ridiculous they had wrote up. Their entire article was based on assumptions and not real facts. However, she did smirk a little when they said she had a nice bum.

She heard a knock at the door and quickly shut off the computer. Deidre didn’t want to be seen doing something other then work. “Yes?” She asked as she looked up. She huffed. “Harry!” She whispered as she got up from her chair and walked over to him.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Harry whispered, trying to explain why he was there. However, Deidre grabbed his hand and pulled him into the classroom.

“What are you doing here? I thought I told you..”

“I know, you don’t want me to visit you at work, However, I went your place, and well, I bumped into Bella.” Harry said. “Let’s just say, she had a lot to say.”

“Oh brother..” Deidre rolled her eyes. “What did she tell you?”

“Well, she explained how she saw the article. She asked me how my hand was, then she told me you yelled at her.” Harry told her as he gave her a look. “I’ve never seen you yell at anyone, expect for me, of course.”

“I didn’t mean to yell at her. She wouldn’t shut up about you and me! She told me ‘Hey Deidre, You love Harry, you should tell him.’ Deidre said in one of her British accents. “She was being ridiculous and she should mind her own business.”

Harry would have said a cheeky remark when Deidre talked in her accent. However, he was too taken back by the comment that she might love him, to notice. “Wait, do you..”

“Love is very strong word, Harry. I don’t know if I’m...”Deidre would have continue, However, they were interrupted when her boss, The Dean of the  Science Wing, Dr.Anderson walked into the room. She was a stern women, in her fifty’s, She was very different from Dr.Lewis. Deidre did not want to cross her.

“Dr. Paulson?” Dr.Anderson said, she looked at Deidre, puzzled, however, also shocked at who she was with. “Oh my, Your Royal Highness.” She said, she was about to curtsy's when raised his hands up.

“No, please don’t.” Harry chuckled. “You don’t have to do that. It’s quiet all right.” He smiled at the Doctor.

“Dr.Paulson, care to explain?” Dr.Anderson said, gritting through her teeth. She was getting worried, she had no clue that a royal would be visiting the University.

“Oh. Uh..Well..” Deidre looked at Harry for help. She had no idea what to say, she didn’t want to say that Harry was there to talk to her, it would raise questions Deidre wasn’t ready to answer. She had already dogged a bullet not having to answer Harry’s question.

“I was just coming to visit. I heard the Deidre was a very respected in her field. So, I wanted to see what it was all about.” Harry smiled as he looked at Deidre. Then he quickly looked at Dr.Anderson, hoping she would buy it.

“Oh my, Why didn’t you tell me Deidre!?” Dr.Anderson snapped at her.

“It’s not her fault. I was the one who insisted that this be kept private.” Harry said, he was quick to defend Deidre, no matter what.

“Well, It would be my pleasure to show you the labs. We had just finished doing some renovations, everything is new.” Dr. Anderson smiled at Harry.

“Oh well, I think I should be going..” Harry tried to tell her.

“I insist, It will be a quick tour.” Dr. Anderson said. Harry sighed, he knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer. He looked at Deidre, he was about to say something when she cut him off.

“You better go, I better be going. I have to say goodbye to my friends tonight.” Deidre explained. She quickly gathered her things, she walked past Harry and gave him a smile and walked out of the classroom.

“So, I guess this is it.” Deidre said as the three of them walked into the airport. She sighed. “I’ll miss you.”

“We’ll miss you too..” Alex said as he wrapped an arm around Daisy.

“This was so much fun, London is amazing. Alex doesn’t want to admit it, but he liked it as well. We must visit again.” Daisy smiled.

“You guys should, maybe after the baby is born.” Deidre said, looking at Daisy’s small bump.

“Don’t forget to call me or text me. You have to tell me everything about you and Harry.” Daisy grinned, She quickly hugged her friend. “See you..”

Deidre said goodbye to her friends and walked out of the airport. She sighed, She didn’t think it would effect her, but she did miss her friends a lot. She knew she could call or text, but it wasn’t the same.

Deidre walked towards her car and the first time in a long time, she felt emotional. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She got into her car and sat there for a few moments. Her phone ringed and she looked who it was, she quickly picked it up. “Harry..” She said breathlessly.

“Hi...” Harry said as he paced around his bedroom. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” He said.

“Oh, I’m fine.” She sniffed and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.

“You don’t sound fine.” Harry said, He thought it sounded like she had been crying.

“It’s nothing, so why did you call?” Deidre asked, obviously wanting to get off the subject. She was never the one to tell anyone how she was really feeling.

“I wanted to make sure you were all right. I saw the articles about our time at the movies. I’m sorry that I came to your work, I just thought I had offended you.” Harry explained.

“I’m a big girl Harry, It not gonna take one article to shake me.” Deidre smirked. “I told you that disguise was ridiculous.”

Harry chuckled as he sat down on his bed. “I guess your right. I was wondering, I’m going over to Will and Kate’s place tomorrow night, for dinner. I thought it would be nice if you came with me.” Harry told her.

“Ah, you mean a double date?” Deidre smirked as she started the car up.

“I guess so. I thought it would be a great chance for you to get to know them.” Harry said. “What do you say?”

“I would love too, However, I think after this we need to find something else to do then go on dinner dates.” Deidre explained. She loved going out to dinner with Harry, however, she thought it would be nice to have a change once in a while.

“I agree, All right, well, see you tomorrow then? I’ll pick you up.” Harry explained.

“Oh, are you sure? I don’t want to be a problem, you live right there.” Deidre said. She also didn’t want anymore attention brought towards them, then there already is.

“It’s not a problem at all, I’m coming back from an engagement in the evening, I’ll be passing through anyway.” Harry smiled

“Okay, if it works for you..” Deidre smiled. “Well, I need to be getting home. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Deidre said and she quickly hanged up.

Deidre looked at herself in the mirror one last time. She had changed her outfit four times already, however, she couldn’t find anything that was presentable.

Bella walked into the bedroom and smiled. “Well, that’s a pretty dress.” She said, pointing to the black dress Deidre was wearing.

“Thanks, I’m just nervous.” Deidre said as she looked at her roommate.

“I would be too, It’s not everyday your meeting The Future King and Queen Consort of the United Kingdom.” Bella said. Deidre gave her a look, She was not helping in the matter, if anything, she was making Deidre feel more nervous.

“Thanks for pointing that out.” Deidre mumbled under her breath. She heard a knock at the front door. Before she could stop Bella, she was out the door. Deidre threw her hands up in the air. “Fine..” She quickly put her shoes on and walked out of her bedroom.

“Hello..” Bella said as she opened the door and smiled.

“Hi..Bella..” Harry said, he smiled. “Is Deidre ready?” He asked as he walked into the flat.

“I’m right here.” Deidre said as she walked over to him.

Harry looked at her and was taken away by her beauty. “Wow, you look..You look beautiful..” He said.

“Really? I don’t know if this is appropriate.” Deidre said softly.

“It’s look fine, there’s nothing inappropriate about. Besides, we are just having dinner with William, Kate, and George.” Harry chuckled.

“Well, Its not everyday I have dinner with royals.” Deidre said, mimicking what Bella had just said a minute or so ago. She looked at her and she could see Bella blushing, obviously embarrassed.

“It’s just my brother and his family.” Harry said as he took a hold of her hands. “They will love you..”

“I sure hope so..” Deidre breathed out.

They said goodbye to Bella and walked out of the flat. They were silent as they walked out of the apartment building. They walked a bit, before Harry opened the door to the car he was in. “Thank you..” Deidre smiled as she got in.

Harry got in after her and closed the door. They were on they way, they sat in silence for a little bit. Harry was fiddling with his thumbs, while Deidre was looking out of the car. “So...”

Deidre looked at him. “What?”

“You said something the other day.” Harry replied.

“Oh, I did?” Deidre said, looking down. Harry could see that she was playing dumb.

“Yes, you said love is a strong word. What did you mean by that? Do you like me or is this just a fling?” Harry said, looking at her. Deidre looked up at him, shocked that he would even suggest that.

“Seriously? If this was a fling, it would have ended the day we got those papers signed.” Deidre in a stern tone. “So don’t even think that...”

“I just want to get all the bases covered. I know this isn’t a fling. We’re in a relationship, right?” Harry asked. He wasn’t getting a clear picture of what Deidre thought of their relationship.

“Of course we’re in a relationship.” Deidre sighed. “We’re dating..”

“That’s what I thought, However, you have a funny way of showing it.” Harry smirked.

“Well, I’m sorry for that. It’s just that the last guy I was with, turned out to be a psycho who dyed his hair red.”

“Your ex-fiancé dyed his hair red? Why would he do that?” Harry said, a puzzled looked spread on his face.

“Probably because I’m with you, He was acting crazy the day I left for London, But this, this takes the Cake.” Deidre said as she looked away. Harry could tell how worried and upset it made her.

“Hey..” He said softly as he touched her on the shoulder. “It’s going to be all right, He’s far away,he won’t hurt you anymore.” Harry smiled.

“I hope..” Deidre whispered as she looked back at him. She smiled softly at him. They sat in silence until they got back to Kensington Palace. They walked up to the path towards The Cambridges apartment.

When they got there,  Deidre could hear a dog barking, she rolled her eyes, she had forgotten that they had a dog. The dog quickly jumped on Harry, he smiled and petted him. “Hello, Lupo, yes, Lupo, I missed you as well.” Harry chuckled out. Lupo quickly jumped off of Harry and went to Deidre, she was hesitant about petting Lupo. “Good dog...” She said as she tapped him on the head. Harry couldn’t help but laugh out loud and roll his eyes. “What?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Lupo, here boy, get your dinner!” A male voice rang out. Lupo quickly jumped off of Deidre and headed back into the kitchen. The male walked out of the kitchen and smiled. “Don’t you ever hear of knocking?” He said.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Really? I’m your brother after all.” Harry smirked and walked over to his brother and they pulled into a hug.

William looked at Deidre and smiled. “It’s wonderful to see you again.” He walked over to her and hugged her, something that took Deidre by surprised.

“It’s great to see you as well.” Deidre smiled as they pulled away.

“Unkie Harry!” A little boy’s voice cried out. Deidre turned to see a blonde hair boy walking over to Harry. The boy was holding a toy airplane.

Harry bent down and smiled. “Well, Hello their Georgie.” He chuckled. “I see you got a new airplane?” Harry looked back at his brother.

“Don’t look at me, Kate got that for him, seeing how he was a good boy when he went shopping with her.” William smiled, obviously proud at his son.

“Ah, you had to go shopping with mummy? That must have been boring.” Harry said as he looked back at George. He chuckled when he saw that he was not paying attention to him, but to Deidre. He looked at Deidre as well. “George, I want you to meet someone.” He quickly picked up his nephew and stood in front of Deidre. “This, this is Deidre, can you say hello?” Harry asked.

George had a puzzle looked on his face. He had never seen her around before. Deidre quickly waved at him. “Hello, George.” She said.

“Go on, say hello, George, she’s a friend..” William said, trying to persuade his son on.

“Hi..” George waved at her and then looked back at his uncle. “Down!” He demanded.

“All right, down we go.” Harry chuckled as he bent down to let George down. He then waddled off.

“Don’t worry, he’ll warm up to you.” William told Deidre. “He doesn’t like strangers that much.”

“Oh, that’s understandable, he’s just a baby.” Deidre smiled.

“Right, well, why don’t you two sit down. I’ll get Kate.” William said and they walked over to the couch. Harry and Deidre sat down next to each other.

“Where is Kate anyway?” Harry asked.

“She’s in the kitchen, getting dinner ready.” William told his brother.

“Oi, your making your pregnant wife do the cooking? Why aren’t you helping out?” Harry snickered at his brother. William just rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen.

“Poppet, they are here.” William said as he walked into the kitchen. He saw her placing the food on plates. “Do you need help?” He asked.

Kate looked up and smiled. “No, it’s fine, I got it. I can’t wait to meet her. Harry has talked so much about her.” She told her husband.

“Yeah, maybe too much!” William stated and rolled his eyes. His comments was met with a scoff and a soft shove from his wife. “What? I can’t be the only one who finds it annoying?”

“Oh, I’m sure you were ‘annoying’ when you were dating me. I’m sure you wouldn’t shut up.” Kate smirked. “Now, let’s go and meet her.” Kate turned on her heels and walked out the kitchen. “Hello!” She announced.  Deidre stood up and before she could do anything else, Kate pulled her into a hug. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you as well.” The wo pulled away and Deidre smiled. She looked down at Kate’s growing belly. “When are you due?”

“I’m due at the end of April...” Kate touched the top of her belly and smiled.

“If he or she is anything like George, she will be stubborn and keep everyone waiting.” Harry smirked.

“Oh god, let’s hope not..” Kate groaned and shook her head. “Anyway, dinner is ready. I need to get George.” She said.

“No, let me. You just set everything up.” William put his hand up to stop his wife. Kate sighed and nodded her head and she walked back into the kitchen. William turned around and looked around for George. He mumbled under his breath. “Anyone see where he went?” He said as he turned to look at his brother and Deidre.

Harry rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. “You lost your kid? Good going William.”

“Oh bugger off.” William snapped. “You two just follow Kate and I’ll look for him.” William walked out of the living room, leaving Deidre and Harry alone.

Deidre let out a small laugh. Harry looked at her and grinned. “Sorry, sorry,   I’m sure George is in his room.” Deidre pointed out. They walked into the kitchen that lead into the dining room.

Kate had already set up the dining room table when she heard the couple walking in. She turned to look at them. “I guess George walked off again?” She smirked.

“He did.” Harry said as he pulled out a chair for Deidre.

“Thank you..” Deidre smiled at him and sat down. Harry quickly pulling out the chair next to her and sitting down.

“He’s a little rascal.” Harry said, he smirked. He knew that his brother and sister-in-law would have their hands full.

“Don’t remind me.” Kate told them as she sat down across from them. “I don’t know how he’ll be when the baby comes.”

Deidre wanted to say something. However, she stopped herself, she knew it wasn’t her place to say anything. She just smiled and nodded her head. A few moments later William walked into the dining room holding George. He quickly put his son in the highchair and sat down at the dining room table.

“Where was he?” Kate asked as she grabbed the bowel that had the peas in them. She handed it to William.

William put some peas on his son’s plate and then handed it back to his wife. “He was drawing in his room and it wasn’t on the paper.” William emphasized.

Kate gasped and gave her son a stern look. “Georgie.” George was not paying attention to his mother and was looking down at his food. William put some chicken on his plate and George clapped his hands. “Yumm..”

Deidre had already put some food on her plate. She looked around surprised. “Is everything all right?” Kate asked as she saw the puzzled look that was spread across Deidre’s face.

“I’m just surprised..I just thought you would have a professional cook.” Deidre told them.

“Oh no, not at all.” Kate giggled and shook her head. “We don’t have one, we just think there’s no point in one.”

“As long as William doesn’t cook, I think your all fine.” Harry said, taking another jab at his brother.

William rolled his eyes at his brother. “Like you can be any better. You come over to our house and eat our food all the time!” He pointed out.

“I can’t help that Kate is a good cook!” Harry said back.

“All right you two, that’s quiet enough. We love having you over Harry, I’m sure Deidre will be over from time to time as well?” Kate asked.

The two couples sat in silence as they ate their food. The only noise was George’s laughs of delight as he kept playing with his food. However, after some persuading from his father, he ate the rest of his food.

“So what is your job, Deidre? Harry has said that your a teacher?” Kate asked and took a bite of her peas.

“Well, I have a doctorate in Forensic Anthropology, I am now working as a professor in Forensic Science. It’s quiet interesting field.” Deidre said.

“How interesting.” Kate pipped up. “You need to tell me more!”

“Maybe when he isn’t in the room.” Deidre pointed at George, who was totally oblivious to their conversation.

“Ah, I understand.” Kate nodded her head in agreement and they went back to eating their dinner.

Deidre walked into the kitchen after they were finished with dinner. She placed her plate near the sink, she looked up when she saw Kate walking into the kitchen, holding George. “Oh, here, let me get that.” Deidre quickly took the plate from Kate’s hand. George was trying to get out of her mother’s arm.

“Thank you..” Kate said breathlessly as she put her son down. “All right, Georgie, go play with your toys.” She told her son. George smiled and quickly walked out of the kitchen. “So, Forensic Anthropologist? That’s a new one.”

Deidre shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a very interesting field to be in. You’ll be surprised how much bones can tell us what’s really going on, tell us a story.”

“Well, did you have to deal with any murders or serial killers?” Kate asked as she took the plates from Deidre and started to load the dishwasher.

“No, well, we have had some murders, but nothing drastic like that, thank goodness.” Deidre explained.

“You must love living in the same country as Harry. He wouldn’t stop talking about you when you two were apart.” Kate said.

“Really?”

“Yes, he was upset when you didn’t respond to any of his texts or calls. He was smitten with you, William told him to move on, However, I told him to keep trying.” Kate smiled.

Deidre could feel a ping of guilt, She was so caught up in her own stubbornness and hate, that she didn’t think of what Harry was thinking or feeling during that time. She made a mental note to apologize to him when she got the chance.

“Anyway..” Kate said, wanting to change the subject. “Tea?”

“I’ll have a cup.” Deidre said to her.

“Wonderful! Also, where did you get that dress? I love it.” Kate said, point to what Deidre was wearing.

“Oh, this?” Deidre was taken back and didn’t know what to say or do. It wasn’t every day someone like Kate, The Duchess of Cambridge, the most famous women in the world, would compliment on what she was wearing.

Kate giggled and nodded her head. “Yes, what else would I be talking about?”

“Well, I kind of got it at a thrift store.” Deidre shrugged, she wished she could say something else, but she wanted to be honest.

“Really? Well, you must have gotten a bargain then. I always loved going into thrift stores.” Kate said.

Deidre was surprised by Kate’s comment. She could never see someone like Kate going into a thrift store, let alone buying anything from there.

Harry and William were sitting on the couch, waiting for the ladies to walk out of the kitchen. George had ran over to his father and William quickly picked him up and put him on his lap. George was content and went back to playing with his toy airplane. “So..” William said, he needed to say something, the silence was killing him. He could tell his brother was nervous.

“What?!” Harry snapped as he looked at his brother. He huffed as he tried to calm down. “Sorry..”He mumbled under his breath.

“They seem to be getting along, no tearing each other's hair out.” William said.

Harry nodded his head. “Good..”

“However...”William started out.

“What?” Harry said, cutting him off before he could say anything else.

“She’s different..” William pointed out.

“And that’s a bad thing? What are you trying to get at William?” Harry told him. No matter what, he was quick to defend Deidre, no matter what, it didn’t matter if it was his brother.

George looked up and gasped. “Ohhh..” He said and looked up at his father. “Unkie Harry mad..” He said as he pointed a finger at his uncle.

“No, I’m not mad George.” Harry said quickly.

“It’s not a bad thing Harry. I was just saying she was different from all the other women you have dated before. I like her, I’m sure Kate would agree.” William smirked as he saw his brother’s face, Harry knew he made a mistake. “Maybe not cut people off while they are talking, it’s rude.”

Harry rolled his eyes and they both looked up when Kate and Deidre walked back into the living room. “Hey, I was getting a little worried.” Harry moved over to give Deidre a place to sit.

“Oh no, everything is perfect.” Kate replied as she put down the kettle of tea. The home phone ringed, Kate and William gave each other a look, no one called them on the house phone unless it was really important.

“I’ll get it.” William said and George got off of his dad’s lap and sat on the ground.

Harry got up and knelt down near George. “How do you like your toy?”

George looked up at his uncle and smiled. “It’s fun! See!” He explained as he moved his toy airplane around and made plane noises. “It’s going fast.”

Harry nodded his head. “It is!” He then started to tickle his nephew’s side and George started to giggle. “Hey, why don’t you let Deidre give it a try?” Harry said as he pointed to Deidre.

“Oh no, that’s fine, he probably doesn’t want to share, he is a toddler after all..” Deidre said.

“Nonsense, George, show your new friend your toy.” Kate told her son. George looked up at Deidre and made his way over to her.

“Here, friend..” George said and smiled.

“Thank you, George.” Deidre gave the little boy a warm smile as she took a hold of the plane. She moved it around slowly, she didn’t know what to do, she was never good with kids, she was never put in a position like that.

George began to giggle as he climbed onto the chair and squeezed in next to her. “Your doing it wrong..” He took a hold of the plane and moved it around faster. “See! Fast!”

William walked back into the room. “Thank you..” He quickly hanged up the phone and let out a groan. “Damit..” He mumbled under his breath. They could tell something had happened.

“Is everything all right?” Kate asked as she picked up George.

“No, that was just security, there are a ton of photographers outside the gate.” William looked at both Deidre and Harry.

“How, what are they even doing there?” Harry quickly jumped up. He could feel the anger rise inside of him.

“They got a tip from an anonymous source that the girlfriend of Prince Harry is here.” William was fuming with anger. “Security is trying to get them away.”

“Well, I think it’s time for bed.” Kate looked at her son, she knew that both men were angry, and there was no way of telling what they would do or say. She didn’t want George to see any of it. “I’ll be right back.” She turned on her heels and walked out of the living room and down the hallway.

“Is there another way out of here? I can’t go out there, I’m not ready for them to know about us.” Deidre explained. She was worried, she knew if they got a picture of her, a picture with her face, she was sure that they would be quick to find out everything they could. She was not ready for that, they had only just confirmed to each other they were boyfriend and girlfriend. She was not ready for the next step.

“We’ll think of something. You can always stay over at my place for the night.” Harry said.

Deidre looked at him for a couple of moments. She let out a soft sigh. “All right, that will work..”

The couple walked into Harry’s place, Deidre placed her bag on the coffee table. She closed her eyes and sighed. Harry walked over to her and placed a hand on the back. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine..” Deidre breathed out. “I had a wonderful time..” She explained.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Harry whispered to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. No matter how hard Deidre tried to stop it, She blushed. She pulled away.

“So, Are you going to give me something to wear?” Deidre smirked as she placed a hand on her hip. “Or maybe you want me to sleep naked.”

“Though I would love that, I mean, I would love that a lot.” Harry said, he was getting all hot and bothered and Deidre could see it. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m sure you would want to wear something, if you don’t, then that’s fine.”

“I’ll think I’ll wear something.”  Deidre said.

“Sure, I’ll get you something.” The two of them walked down the hall into his bedroom. He rummaged through his draws, and handed her a t-shirt. “Do you want pants?”

Deidre took the shirt from him and grinned at him. “No, I think I’ll just wear this.” She winked at him and then made her way into the bathroom.

Harry watched as she walking into the bathroom, he let out a harsh breath and sat down on the bed. “She’ll be the death of me.” He murmured under his breath. She was smart, she was sexy, and he was wild about her. He looked at his phone, to see if he had any important calls or emails he missed.

Deidre walked out of the bathroom a minute or so later. She smiled as she made her way around the bed and sat down. Harry looked up at her, a shocked expression was plastered around his face. “What? You don’t want me to sleep here?” She asked, pointing to the bed.

“Yes!” Harry shouted as he got up from the bed. “I just thought you wouldn’t be..”

“Wouldn’t be what? I wouldn’t be comfortable? I’m your girlfriend, aren’t I? Why wouldn’t I sleep with you, not in a sexual way, of course.” Deidre said, she couldn’t help but laugh.

Harry nodded her head and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I get it. Cool.”

“Soo, we should get to bed, I’m for one exhausted from today.” Deidre smiled as she pulled the covers away.

Harry follow suit and laid down next to her. “Goodnight.” He smiled at her.

“Goodnight.” She gave Harry a warm smile and kissed him on the cheek. She then turned so that her back faced him, and soon she fell asleep.

Harry was pleased that everything was going well for them. He just hoped it would last, he knew that people would find out soon. He knew he had to prepare her for what was to come. But no tonight, he just wanted to get some shut eye, and spend his last couple of days with the women he loved and his friends.

Read More 

[elegant-phff]

Seven.Berlin,Seriously?

Prince Harry of Wales September of 2015 Kensington Palace,London

"Wassup,Mate!"Skippy exclaimed approaching me."It's been awhile man!"I said."Of course it has,anyways gimme the drinks,"He yelled.I chuckled and got the beer from the freezer.I placed them on the coffee table and plopped down on the sofa.Skippy then took the seat next to me.

We started playing Call Of Duty when Skippy said,"You know boi,it's been forever since we took a vacation..."I scrunched my nose but didn't take my eyes off the screen and replied,"What are you trying to imply?"Skippy chuckled and said,"You are a single man again!We should go out of country for awhile!"Before I could answer,I got killed in the game."Fuck!"I scoffed and the screen read 'game over'.I turnt to him,''Who else is down for a vacation?"

"Well  Sam,Thomas,Guy and I are confirmed.From the girls Chelsy has confirmed but I don't know about Cressida,"Skippy said.I groaned."Seriously,Chelsy and Cressida?The whole media is going to think I am going back to my exes after my break up with Meghan!"I exclaimed.Skip sighed,"Dude!Who cares what the media thinks?they always have some sort of assumption to make.You gotta enjoy your life."I looked at him,not quite convinced."C'mon man!stop chickening out,this ain't the Harry I know,"Skip smirked.

"Oh yeah?I am chickening out?Count me in,I am booking the jet,"I scoffed."Well then,pack your bags for Berlin,Germany !"Skip yelled excitedly.My eyes widened,"Wait hold up!Berlin,seriously?"

Skippy looked baffled,"Yeah what?" "Dude,do you not remember the Nazi costume fiasco?!"I practically screamed."Chill out!its going to alright,nobody except you is going to associate the two events,"Skip tried to reassure.I ran my hands over my face,"I am keeping your word for it."

One week later

It was early in the morning when we arrived in Berlin.The Press still hadn't found out about this trip so on our way out of the airport we were thankfully not bombarded by the paparazzis.The trip was about a week long.

The first two days of the trip was quite peaceful and fun.We travelled around Berlin like normal tourists,except we were disguised and there were two RPOs following us but in disguise,of course.

Everything was fun.We all were having fun except of me.Throughout the entire trip Cressida was clinched to me.She was the kind of ex who was obviously not over the break up but wouldn't admit it.Unfortunately,she is a part of the group so I have to cooperate with her.

Whenever we were outside she'd wrap her arms around mine which was just uncomfortable.Whenever I'd try to resist her response would be,"Come on Harry,stop being so awkward we are friends!"Like okay I get it we are friends but there are some boundaries.

However,the third day of the trip arrived and it was the day I was looking forward to the most.We were going to one of the best clubs in Berlin.A lot of celebrities come to this club so it's privacy was perfect for me.However,it was pretty rare for public figures to party in Berlin so there are very small chances of you meeting them.

I wore a white button up shirt and a pair of suit pants---a classic.The other boys were wearing similar clothings and the girls were short dresses---once again the classic.But,Cressida once again was trying too hard to get my attention and it was getting too much at this point.Thankfully Sam interrupted Cressida's seductive looks towards me by saying,"You know we are quite lucky,today the club is going to have extra security."

"Why so?"Guy asked."Apparently,some celebrities are here tonight and they don't want to be seen here,"Sam smirked."Oo,scandalous,"I said in a mysterious voice.They all laughed."Literally the same day we are going to the club,there are celebrities.Coincidence?I don't think so,"Chelsy said."Illuminati confirmed!"Thomas exclaimed.The laughter grew louder.

Once we arrived at the club we were escorted in safely.As Sam had some connections and obviously because I was there, we were led to one of the VIP sections of the club.The RPOs were at a safe distance from where the whole squad was sitting

It didn't take us long to get drunk.We were all downing the shots too quickly and soon enough we were completely wasted.The music started blasting through the speakers and we ran to the dance floor which there was only one.

We all were dancing like crazy to JLo.We were too drunk to even care and it got so hot that I had to unbutton a few buttons of my shirt.

The squad's fun was interrupted by another group of people entering the dance floor,who were a little less drunk than us,except for a few people.They were a large group mostly guys and two girls.One of the girl,whose back was faced against from my viewing was giggling like crazy and she was most probably the most drunk among the group.

In our drunken state we found out that they are celebrities.I swear,I thought I knew most of those faces but my brain was too fuzzy.Anyways,we were all dancing to Nicki Minaj's Anaconda and all the four girls (Chelsy,Cressida, and the other two ) started twerking and let me tell you it was a sight for sore eyes.You know what I found out the next moment?The super drunk cute girl was Alex!You know,the Alex that I hit on a long time ago and then she kinda rejected me and then I met her a couple of months ago?Yeah that same Alex.

You know,she is quite an interesting character.Most of the time she looks like this badass bitch who could probably cut you in two (which is mostly true,beware,don't hurt her she is scarlet witch,she'll control your mind and make your life a living hell!) but in reality she is this adorable tiny,dorky girl who is also drop dead gorgeous.She is also pretty stubborn.

Anyways,back to the story(drunk Harry stop getting sidetracked)wow author now you'll accuse me?Just admit it that you aren't able to describe what happens properly because you are sleep deprived(stfu and continue idiot)I'll remind you that my gran could behead you(I will cut you harry if you don't continue)Okay,okay chill out.

Suddenly a 5'6 Alexandra Larsson jumped in front of me and squealed,"OH MY GOD HARRY!" I don't know why,but I found it funny so I giggled."WOAH YOU ARE ALEX!"I said poking her nose,as if to see if she was real or just a illusion of drunk!harry.She was actually real!

"Harry look!I have so many friends!"She exclaimed dragging me towards where all the other people were."Woooooow,you have so many friends,I only have a few,"I pouted.She frowned at my reaction and replied,"No don't say that!you have me!I am like equal to soo many friends!"She stretched her arms trying to emphasis on 'so many.'She put her arms forward to hug me and I accepted the hug.As soon as I did,her grip tightened and she started swinging around.

A slow song had started so we continued to do so for the entirety of the song."What are we doing?"I finally asked."I don't know,"She giggled.I didn't say anything,instead I smiled and continued swinging.

All of a sudden,Thinking about Loud started playing.

For some reason,my eyes couldn't leave Alex's figure.Her eyes were a mix of grey and green---something which I just realised,she bleached her hair blonde,she didn't like maintaining women body stereotypes,so she didn't have a perfect slim hourglass figure.She had a beauty spot on her left cheek and another one on the lower right cheek,her eyelashes were very thick and long.Her lips were very plump,they had a pinkish tint.

My eyes travelled back to her eyes and I could see them staring at my own lips.

Then I did something sober me would have never.

I kissed her

And she kissed me back And all of a sudden I was sober once again but drunk by the taste of her lips.

Authors Note I did it.I couldn't wait any longer.What do you think happens next ?😏

[kingdomcome-phff-blog]

Extended Summary

Crown Princess Eleanora Victoria Elisabeth Regina had her whole life figured out even before she was born.The first in line to the Callinthovan Throne was the Kingdom's Princess.Loved and cherished by the whole world.The people of the large country of Callinthova were overjoyed by the news that their beloved King Wilhelm IV and Queen Arabella I were blessed with a daughter.The fact that the country's future monarch would be a strong woman made everyone's heart swell with pride.

Unbeknowngst to the entire world,the time would come sooner rather than later.King Wilhelm IV of Callinthova had been assassinated by a terrorist group whose aim was to bring monarchies around the world to extinction.In the year 1997,the world lost three beloved people.Mother Teresa,Princess Diana of Wales and King Wilhelm IV and the year was known as the year of Royal Grief.

The year did not just bring grief but it was the beginning of a new era.Princess Eleanora Victoria Elisabeth Regina became Queen Eleanora II at the age of 11.Bearing the weight of the Crown for as long as she could remember,Queen Eleanora had only one goal in her life Serve My Country.

The Royal Family of Callinthova had been descendants of Queen Victoria and the country had been allies with the United Kingdom for centuries.Saying that the two countries were allies would be an understatement.King Wilhelm IV was the godfather of Prince William and Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip were the godparents of Queen Eleanora II.

Having grown up around the Wales' brothers they were practically inseparable.Queen Eleanora had considered Prince William the elder brother she never had while Prince Harry had become her most loyal bestfriend.

As they grow older,will their feelings for each other surface?Will they find love in each other?Find out in KINGDOM COME.

DISCLAIMER:I do not own any characters in this story except of my own.Please remember plagarism is illegal so please do not copy my work without my permission!

ALSO REMEMBER!I own the Kingdom of Callinthova and all the original characters.This is a work of fiction and non of the events written in this book are true.

This story is inspired by the Netflix series 'The Crown' and A Prince Harry fan fiction called "Die Koenigin"

[nataliawritesstuff]

Fake It Until You Make It: A Prince Harry Fanfic by nataliac57.

Guys! I made a playlist with the biggest songs in the story. Check it all =) 

You Need Me, I Don't Need You Gold Rush Cassiopeia Cold Coffee Love At First Sight Mine I See The Light Do I Wanna Know? Gone, Gone, Gone Hey There Delilah Please Don't Say You Love Me I Hate You, Don't Leave Me I'm Yours King and Lionheart New York City Wildest Dreams Manhattan Goodbye Until Tomorrow Just a Song Mr. and Mrs. Smith I Know Places Strange Love You Are In Love Already Home Home

[megscherries]

Our Story: Chapter Twenty-Four

[A/n: I hope you guys like it. I had such trouble with this chapter, I hope you guys like it]

“So how does this look?” Vivian asked as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had brought Cordelia and a couple of other friends from University to a Bridal shop in London. She had tried on five wedding dresses and she hated every one of them.

So here they were, four hours later, still waiting for Vivian to pick her wedding dress, Cordelia was getting bored. “That looks wonderful.”

Vivian pouted, she turned a little to look at herself from behind. “I don’t know, there’s something missing.”

“Oh for the love of god Vivian!” Jamie, one of Vivian’s good friends from University interjected. “You do know we can go to another bridal shop tomorrow.”

“No! I have to much to worry about! I need to find the dress now.”Vivian said. “Do not rush me Jamie!”

Jamie threw her hands up in defense and she rolled her eyes.

“I think you need a tiara. A girl always needs a tiara for her wedding day, makes her feel like a princess.” Another one of Vivian’s friends, Hannah, interjected. Hannah was Cordelia’s and Vivian’s roommate from university, in the early days, before Cordelia and Vivian got the flat they had now. “Maybe you should give her a tiara Cordelia.”

“What?” Cordelia said, raising an eyebrow in confusion as she looked at Hannah. “ I don’t own a tiara. I’m not that rich! Who do you think I am?”She chuckled.

“You’re boyfriend is the grandson of the Queen. Can’t you just borrow a tiara? She probably has loads.” Hannah said, grinning in amusement.

“I can’t just ask the Queen to give away one of her tiaras. I haven’t even met her yet.” Cordelia said.

Hannah’s eyes widen, she had a shock expression on her face. “You haven’t met the Queen yet?”

Cordelia shook her head. “No, I only met Harry’s father two months ago. Besides, I think she has better things to do then meet me.”

Vivian placed both her hands on either side of her hips. “All right, I don’t need a tiara. Let me try this dress on.” She pointed to a dress that was hanging on the dressing room door. “If I don’t like it, we can go another bridal shop.” She turned and grabbed the dress. She made her way into the dressing room.

Cordelia looked at the rest of the bridesmaids. “Let’s just focus on Vivian. It’s going to be her day, I don’t want any attention on me. Do you all understand?”

“Well, you’re dating a Prince. What do you expect?” One of Vivian’s co-workers said under her breath. Cordelia heard her, but she just rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to start anything.

Vivian walked out a couple of minutes later, the dress wen’t down to the floor, It had short sleeves. Unlike the other dresses she tried on which were lace, this dress was silk. The dress caught everyone by surprise and took their breath away.

“It’s beautiful.” Cordelia told her friend.

Vivian looked down her dress. “ Are you sure it looks good on me?”

Hannah nodded her head. “It’s amazing, I defiantly think this is the one.”

Vivian smiled. She thought for a couple of moments and took a deep breath. “I think we don’t have to look at other bridal shops ladies.”

Everyone clapped their hands, thrilled that the soon to be bride had found the dress she would wear on her wedding day. Vivian could check it off the list, but the couple still had a lot to do.

                __________________________________________________

Two days later Cordelia walked up the steps to her new apartment. Jackson and Vivian fallowing close behind her, they were helping her move in. They had half the boxes in the apartment already, but they had a good amount that was still in the truck.

“So where’s Harry?” Vivian asked as she placed the cardboard box on the ground. 

“He’s said he just finished up with a private engagement and he should be here soon.” Cordelia said. She started to open the boxes and took out a couple kitchen appliances she had packed.

“How does he like the apartment?” Jackson asked as he did the same, he took out a couple of picture frames.

“He hasn’t seen it yet.” Cordelia told him, she didn’t think anything of it until she looked up from unpacking, she saw the looks they gave her. “What? Why are you looking me like that? Your making it seem like I have two heads or something.”

“You haven’t shown Harry the apartment yet?” Vivian said to her friend, she was shocked.

“No, I haven’t had time, I had the job interview and helping with the wedding.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t see a problem with it, why? Do you have something to tell me?” She said.

Just at that moment Cordelia’s phone went off. She looked at the caller ID and realized it was Harry, she sighed. Her first thought was that he had to cancel, he had done it a couple of times in the past. So she wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.  She picked it up. “Let me guess, you can’t come tonight?” She said, not even giving Harry a moment to respond.

“What? No, I’m outside your apartment, at least I think i am.”

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “You think? I gave you the right address Harry.”

“Well, I saw a fight when driving down the street, Oliver want’s to make sure this is the right place.”

Cordelia groaned. “Oh Harry, what do you think will happen? You’ll get knifed or something?”

“What? No, he’s worried someone will fucking mug me Cordelia! This isn’t a good neighborhood, Maybe you should come down here.”

Cordelia huffed. “Fine, I’ll be right down.” She hanged up quickly and grabbed her coat. “I’ll be right back. I need to let Harry in.” She walked out of the apartment before her friends could respond.

She walked down the steps of the apartment complex. She could hear a lot of commotion when passing the other apartments, One baby was crying, a couple fighting and throwing furniture around, She just shrugged her shoulders.

She opened the front door of the complex. Harry was standing outside, his hands in his front pockets, he had his hat that he always wore when he was out and wanted some privacy, even though almost everyone could point him out, There’s so much he can do without anyone seeing his red hair. “First off, It’s only bad at night.” Cordelia retorted at him.

Harry scoffed at his girlfriend. “That doesn’t make me feel any better. Right Oliver?” He turned and looked back at his P.O.

Oliver nodded his head. “Of course Sir.”

Harry chuckled. “See?”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Just get in already, your brining in all the cold air!”

Harry quickly walked into the apartment complex, Oliver walking behind him.

When Harry walked up the steps up to Cordelia’s apartment, he raised his eyebrow. He was shocked at how Cordelia could rent out an apartment in a complex like the one she had now. He heard people yelling and screaming and he could’ve sworn he could hear someone say ‘I’m gonna kill you.’ This wasn’t a place where he wanted his girlfriend to live, but he wanted to see the apartment before jumping to conclusion.

Cordelia opened the door and walked in. “I’m back.” She replied. She walked into the living room, the last place she left Jackson and Vivian. She saw that they were still helping her unpack more of her things.

Harry look around the living room and he wasn’t impressed. Cordelia could see this and rolled her eyes. “Don’t you dare start.”

Harry looked at her. “What?”

Cordelia scoffed. “I know that face, that’s the face you make when your not happy with something.”

“Do you think this is a safe place to live?” Harry asked.

“I think it’s pretty safe. Why? You don’t think so?” Cordelia said.

Harry nodded his head. He was about to open his mouth to speak, but Cordelia beat him to it.

“No, don’t even start Harry! This was the only apartment that was cheap and that was near London. So if you don’t like it, tough luck.” She told him.

“I just want you to be safe.” Harry tried explaining to her.

“I’ll be perfectly safe Harry! I know how to defend myself, I’m not helpless.” Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest.

“I never said you were helpless.”

“Well, you made it seem like that. Now, are you going to help me unpack or are you just going to complain some more?” She asked.

“I’ll help.” Harry said to her. Over the past couple of months Harry had seen how stubborn Cordelia could be. If she liked something or had an opinion on something, she wouldn’t change it for anyone. So he knew he had lost the apartment battle, she would stay in the crappy apartment, end of story.

                    ____________________________________________

Cordelia and Harry plopped down on the couch. They finally finished unpacking all the boxes. “I didn’t think we would ever finish.” Harry told her jokingly.

“Oh shut up. I didn’t have that much stuff.” Cordelia pointed out.

“The twenty boxes we unpacked beg to differ.” Harry smirked.

“You’re such a jerk.” Cordelia huffed as she got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.

Harry snickered as he fallowed her into the kitchen. “I was joking.”

“Well, you’re not very funny.” She told him.

He pulled her close to him and smirked. “I would I say I’m hilarious, you didn’t say that last week when we did...”

“Shh, don’t talk about that. I told you I wanted it to be kept between the both of us.”

“Fine, but you did like it. You said I was the most funniest man you have ever met.” Harry told her.

Cordelia shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t mean the funniest man I ever met. However, you’re a close second.”

Harry scoffed. “I’m offended, who is this other guy? Should I kick his ass?” He smirked, obviously playing along.

Cordelia smirked. “I’ll never tell.”

“Oh really?” He quickly picked her up by her waist and started to tickle her.

“Harry! H..H..Harry let me go!” She couldn’t stop laughing.  

He let her back down on the ground, he turned her around and kissed her on the lips.

She heard her cellphone ring from the other room. She smiled through the kiss and pulled away. “I need to get it.”

“Are you sure about that? Why don’t we just let it go to voicemail?” He kissed her neck.

She pulled away. “I need to get it, it might be my potential job. I’ll be right back.” She quickly rushed out of the kitchen. She grabbed her phone that was laying on the couch, she answered it. “Hello? Yes, this is she.”

A few minutes later Cordelia walked back over to Harry. He raised an eyebrow, wondering if she got good news or bad news. “So?”

A smile grew on Cordelia’s face. “I got the job!”

He pulled her into a hug and smiled. “That’s great babe. When do you start?”

She looked up at him. “I start next week.”

He kissed her on the lips once more, Cordelia moaned softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, she depend the kiss as she tried to unbutton his shirt.  As he was kissing her, he was trying to get Cordelia out of her clothes.

They finally broke apart and Harry looked at her and took her hand. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

“That sounds fine with me.” She giggled as Harry pulled her towards her bedroom.

 She couldn’t help but have a feeling of happiness corse through her, she had a new place to live in, great friends, and an amazing man who loved her. She knew it couldn’t get any better then this. The new job was the icing on the cake, and in only two days time she and the rest of them would be celebrating the New Year. She knew only good things would come her way.

Read More:

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Five

Lexy woke from the best sleep she’d had in days. It had been a week since the initial day the press had found out. Harry had only texted her once, a note about how he was going to give her space but that he would be there for her when she was ready to talk to him. Lexy ignored it and went back to focusing on her studies again.

Things at home weren’t much better. Sara was still being held in a jail cell. Her father still had all of the children, which worried her deeply. Chace was still working but he seemed to be very emotional, which made her father even angrier. The most of Lexy’s news had come from her Uncle Billy, who was doing what he could to stop in and make sure everyone was being taking care of.

And the press? Well they seemed to be getting worse. They’d memorized her schedule by how much she was leaving the building, chasing her down and following her to wait outside the building she worked in. It had gotten to the point where when six o’clock hit and it was time to leave for the day, Manuela, her boss had told her not to come back until she figured out what was going on. It wasn’t safe for the children.

Lexy reckoned it was what happened after that dismissal that prompted Harry to issue the statement she woke up to.

He’d always been skeptical about her walking back alone at night. He’d told her that much. It didn’t bother Lexy. Usually she went unnoticed, but that night, a couple of reporters kept following her, posting the video of her trying to get away from them all over the internet. Lexy had been dubbed “The Run-Away Princess” by the media and Harry wasn’t having any of it.

Lexy woke up to a single text from Carrie that morning. They still hadn’t talked, still hadn’t sorted out their issues. So Lexy wasn’t quite sure why she felt the need to text her the link of Harry’s statement, but she didn’t respond to her either.

She glanced over at Nicole still asleep and walked out of her room without changing out of her pajamas to the kitchen where she promptly called Harry.

“I thought I told you not to issue a statement,” she said before he could even get a word in.

“Lexy, I had to do something. Did you watch the video of them chasing you as you left from work? You know I don’t like you walking alone from there at night anyway.”

“That’s none of your concern. Now they’re going to get even worse.”

“I asked them to stop. They usually listen to me.”

“But you’ve just confirmed for the world that we’re together.”

“I didn’t say you were my girlfriend in the statement. I didn’t even call you—“

“A friend,” she interrupted. “You didn’t even call me a friend. You said to stop following Lexy Marks, which is you basically saying that they were right. I bet when I walk out of here there are going to be even more.”

Harry sighed into the phone. “I’m just trying to make you safe. How are things at home?”

“I didn’t call for a catch up conversation,” she snapped. “I called because I woke up to this when I told you not to.”

“With all due respect, I’m an adult, and I can do what I’d like regardless of what you say.”

Lexy huffed. “Whatever. I need to go.”

“Lexy—“

Lexy hung up on him again. It was becoming a pattern for her to end his call when he said her name but the more that she did it the less that she felt bad about it.

She headed back up to her room to see that Nicole was still sleeping and decided to get ready for the day.

One by one, it seemed, Lexy was losing everyone she was close to. More than that, it seemed to be all her fault.

**

When Lexy walked outside that morning, it seemed that Harry had been right. There was no press to greet her. She probably should’ve called and thanked him, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

The rest of the week dragged by in a blur. Harry had begun texting her a few times a day, to which Lexy responded by blocking his number. She knew she was being rude but she just didn’t want to talk to him. Lexy had decided she was still angry about the statement, even though it did help the situation.

There was also the prospect of finals coming up which she was dreading more and more. She was starting to stress, feeling like she really hadn’t spent as much time studying as she should have. Lexy was starting to think that Harry had been nothing but a mistake, causing her to lose focus completely. After all, she was meant to get into college and do the best she could and then find a way to improve her future life. Not the other way around.

But as hard as she tried, even with the press no longer bothering her, she still couldn’t seem to focus. Her heart just wasn’t in it. She made daily calls home and it seemed that everything was going okay, even if they weren’t how things should’ve been. She still missed her mother more and more with her junior year drawing to a close and stepping closer to her graduation.

It really did feel like her life was falling completely apart to her and one night she just broke.

She wasn’t talking to Harry anymore which had been a major stress reliever for her, even if she hadn’t known it at the time. Ana was busy with volleyball and her own studies. Carrie was still not a part of her life. So when Lexy got back to her room after getting a C on her final paper for her educational policy class and Nicole wasn’t there, she just completely broke down crying.

She actually wasn’t sure how long she just sat on the floor and cried but she knew that when Nicole appeared, the time for dinner had long passed and she wasn’t even hungry.

Nicole took one look at her, taking off her headphones and shook her head. “What is wrong with you?”

Lexy hastily wiped her tears. “Nothing.”

“Lexy Renee Marks. What is wrong with you?”

Lexy shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” Lexy hadn’t meant to be insulting but the way that Nicole was towering over her at her already tall height, arms cross and glaring, made her feel like she had been. Lexy sat up.

“I think my life is falling apart.”

Nicole nodded like she’d expected it. “What makes you feel like that?”

“All this stuff with my sister and the kids. My dad. Harry. And I got a C on my final paper. I feel like I’m failing.”

“That’s incredible, Lex. With all this stuff going on and you got a C. You have to realize that sometimes you do what you can. You’re not in control of any of this going on in your life and look at how you’ve handled it. Beautifully. Not one person on this campus could’ve done what you’ve done and even gotten a C.”

Lexy shook her head. “They could have though. It’s not that difficult.”

“Not that difficult?! Girl, how much of your grade is that C worth?”

“Fifteen percent.”

“Fifteen percent. Right. You’re still going to get a B in the class. That’s something to be proud of.”

Lexy shrugged. “I guess. I just want to know when all of this will stop happening to me. When I’ll be okay again, when things will just be fine again.”

“Do you mean with Harry?”

“No. I mean with my family. Harry is a different story.”

Nicole sat down on the floor in front of Lexy, sitting cross legged and resting her elbows on her knees. “You know what I think? I think that Harry is your answer out.”

Lexy squinted at her. “What?”

Nicole shrugged. “Obviously you don’t have to take my word for it but it just seems to me that you’ve genuinely been the happiest I’ve ever seen you when you got back from England and when you would be talking to him. Every one of your friends knows the shit you’ve been through but that has nothing on how you are when you’re with Harry. Nothing at all.”

“I just think we’re too different. He’s too much older. He has too much money. He’s in a different place than me.”

Nicole frowned. “I know that you of all people aren’t going to let those things stop you. You might even be more mature than Harry for what it’s worth. And we don’t let money stop us! And this different place bullshit is just that. Bullshit. Harry knows what he’s getting into by dating someone like you. Believe me. You have to trust him.”

Lexy wiped her eye again. “I just think there’s too much stuff that happens in my family. The press found out about me and they blasted a bunch of stuff about my sister. You saw.”

“I did. And Harry did, too. And you know what? He’s still wants to be with you. Lexy you have to understand that Harry’s life hasn’t been all fun and games. It’s been just like yours but in a different way. Yes, he might have a lot of money. And he might have a lot of privilege. But the kid lost his mom in front of the entire world when he was what thirteen?”

“Twelve,” Lexy sniffled. “A week before his thirteenth birthday.”

“Right. And that certainly wasn’t easy. And his every move has been dictated for him. Every fuck up has been recorded. He goes grocery shopping and people take pictures of him.”

“So you think he’s had it rough?”

“Yeah,” she said, sitting straight up. “I do. Obviously it’s different and you have been through things that he wouldn’t dream of having to go through, but his life hasn’t been a piece of cake either. It’s just different.”

“I still don’t want to talk to him right now.”

Nicole stretched, standing back up. “That’s fine. You make your own decisions. I’m just telling you to consider things from a different perspective. I think Harry’s going to wait for you. You just have to make sure that you show up eventually.”

Lexy stood up, playing with her hair. “The thing is, I feel like a lot of this is my fault. And I feel like I’m a shitty person.”

“Yeah?” Nicole turned around from her closet she was sifting through. “You’re probably wrong too, but to be honest, if I woke up to a fuck ton of people yelling at me, I’d probably freak out too. You just got to remember that this isn’t Harry’s fault. He doesn’t want this anymore than you do.”

Lexy nodded then, having a slight urge to call him but then remembering how uncomfortable that would be. “Thanks, Nicole.”

“Any time,” she waved a hand. “Oh, and get dressed. We’re going out tonight.” Lexy was about to argue but Nicole stopped her. “Don’t even. You know as well as I do that it’ll be good. You can drink some alcohol. Dance. It’ll make everything feel better. I’m honestly sure Harry will be doing the same thing.”

Lexy sighed but got up and walked over the mirror before grabbing her face wash and heading towards the bathroom, deciding that Nicole was right and that a night out would be good for her.

**

The only good thing that came about from Lexy not eating was that she needed less alcohol to feel good. With just three shots she was already feeling herself way too much and was already dancing around to the music that Nicole had put on for them, some album she had never heard before.

“This is good music!” She shouted.

Nicole laughed. She’d had the same amount as Lexy but Lexy’s height and appetite made them feel quite a bit different. Nicole shushed Lexy with her finger and finished applying her eyeliner.

“Are you ready?”

Lexy nodded eagerly and the two left the room, Lexy basically skipping out the door and leaving Nicole at a run to find her.

“I want to post us on my snapchat,” Lexy told her. Then she frowned. “But let’s wait till we’re in the club so the flash will look good.”

Nicole laughed again, seeing a group of people walking towards them. “Whatever you say, Sexy Lexy.”

“Don’t call me that,” Lexy warned. “Harry calls me that and I don’t want to think about him.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “It was my nickname for you first.”

But she complied with the shorter girl’s wishes, making their way into the building where the Chainsmoker’s most recent hit was blasting from the speakers. They made it past the bouncers with no problems and each denied a beer as they walked onto the dance floor. It was a black out night, with colors flashing everywhere.

And Lexy felt good. She was glad she’d made the decision to go out. The girls made their way into a circle and Lexy and some guy next to her began to shout the words to I Took a Pill in Ibiza to each other. She couldn’t really see what he looked like but immediately knew that he wanted to dance with her from the way he was acting. And as he moved behind her, Lexy had no objections, continuing to sway to the beat of the song.

Nicole raised her eyebrows to ask if she was okay before attempting to pull Lexy away from the guy. Lexy snatched her arm away, falling back in line with the music. She wasn’t thinking of the problems, just feeling at one with the music.

By the third song which turned out to be some pop hit that everyone but Lexy recognized, she was feeling completely better than she had been all day. But then the guy she was dancing with, who Lexy realized had light brown hair, tried to kiss her. That’s when Lexy bolted.

She wasn’t sure where she was going, running down the street at one am, in a crop top and a pair of tight little shorts. She didn’t have proper footwear on and she was still a bit tipsy, but the run felt relieving, almost like it was what she needed most. Lexy wondered if she was going crazy.

She finally made it back to campus, dashing up some stairs and running all the way back to her dorm. She looped around it once to keep running and then decided to go inside, her lungs a bit sore for the chilliness of the outside air.

Lexy glanced at herself in the mirror and realized she looked like a complete mess. It had been the last weekend to go out before finals began and because of it she had put on a good bit of makeup but it was all smeared. Even her mascara had gotten clumpy. Her hair was a mess too, her curls frizzy and all over the place.

She took all of her makeup off carefully and then went down to brush her teeth, realizing she shouldn’t have left Nicole alone and sending a text to apologize. Nicole replied a few minutes later saying that it was fine and that she wouldn’t be coming back for the night.

Lexy sighed, glancing around the room and wishing she could do the same. It was just after two, and she knew that even though it was a Saturday, Harry was probably just getting up for the day. She made a decision and decided to unblock his number once and for all. She expected texts from him to come pouring through but realized that she wouldn’t get the ones that he’d sent to her while his number was blocked. Or at least, she didn’t think so. From what Nicole had told her about the time she blocked Josh’s number.

She took a deep breath and climbed into bed, still contemplating whether she should attempt to fix things or let them be. Something in her head made her pull up the picture of her and Harry from her sister’s house that night, and she laid awake studying it.

There was something about the way he was staring down at her, as if there was nothing else in the world more important, that made her swallow. It had been a wonderful night even though they’d been surrounded by the mess that was her family. There wasn’t a thing wrong with that photo, even though Lexy was smiling up with her mouth wide open, something she usually didn’t like to look at.

But the girl in the photo was happy. Really happy. And the guy was too. Lexy could feel the night in her mind, the way the light spring night air had felt on her skin, the sound of the song playing, one she hadn’t heard since she’d been home last. It didn’t feel out of place. It felt like everything belonged.

Lexy only hadn’t talked to Harry for a week at that point but she really did miss him. A lot. But as if she had something to prove, she knew she wouldn’t be the one contacting him next. She did, decide however, that the next time Harry tried to contact her she would answer him. Probably, at least. It really depended on what he said.

Because deep down she knew that Harry wasn’t wrong. But she also felt like she wasn’t wrong. Lexy had never been particularly good at compromising. And this seemed like it was about to really put her to the test.

She also realized that sometimes it was probably better to be completely alone to have those decisions, with no one crowding her mind but her. Lexy fell asleep that night thinking about Harry, and her family at home. What drove her craziest was that she couldn’t stop replaying the way that Harry was with all three of the kids, even though he had absolutely no responsibility to act any type of way towards them.