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katierosedreams2 · 1 year ago

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My new favorite Christmas gift

“Oh my god I love this so much!!” Emma said, letting out a little scream of joy as she took my photo of me going up the escalator at the mall. “I can not believe just how right I was about you Alexa!! Your body is so girly!! No one would ever know you're actually a boy!! I can’t believe I have my own life-size doll!! This is my new favorite Christmas gift I could ever get!!” She continued, not even trying to hide her joy. I guess I should explain exactly how I got here.

Emma is my stepsister. We're the same age, well she’s older by a few months. Our parents married about ten years ago now. My stepdad was almost never around, and when he was, he would take my mom on some trip or off on some date. He wanted nothing to do with me, much like my own dad who walked out on my mom and me when I was pretty young. A few years later, when I was eight, my mom remarried. She had always wished I was a girl and constantly told me about how she had always wanted a daughter. When she met my stepdad and Emma she just fell in love with Emma and was so happy to have her as a daughter. As I got older, I realized how my mom never let me do topical “boy” stuff. I was only allowed to have girls as friends, watch girly movies, and sometimes she even bought me a jacket or top or pants that were a girl's but were "just too cute to pass up". She so desperately wanted a girl. And once she got Emma she immediately started to spoil her with all kinds of clothes, shoes, make up. She even gave her the bigger bedroom. She pretty much got whatever she wanted.

My weird requirements didn’t go away when that happened. They just got worse. I had to join Emma in ballet and cheerleading all the way through high school. I was forced to join Emma and her friends, not allowed to have friends of my own. I wasn’t allowed to have short “boy” hair either. And most of my clothes were just plain generic men's clothes. I hardly owned anything, most of money went to Emmas' wardrobe. Don't get me wrong, my mom is very nice and loving. She is kind and caring and hasn’t completely ignored me, but it also isn’t a surprise that Emma is her favorite. When we were much younger, my mom and Emma used to have “makeover days” where my mom would teach Emma how to do her make up and dress and move like a lady.

Emma and I got along right away and were always close. I think she could see how my mom favored her over me and she kind of felt bad about that. She would often try to include me in everything she could so I wouldn’t feel left out. She would often convince me to join her and my mom on their “makeover days” and I would. My mom always seemed to treat me differently once they had finished putting makeup on me. She seemed to love me more and treat me better. Emma also loved being able to treat me like a doll. She loved dolls and always wanted to dress me up and have me be a “life-size doll”. I would always fight that. It was bad enough that my mom wanted me to be a girl, it was even worse that my stepsister and closest friend also wanted me to be one too!

Christmas was always tough because Emma got just about anything she asked for, not just for Christmas but for the rest of the year too. So I always sucked at getting her gifts. It was always some gift card to some place she liked. Over the last few years, my mom has gotten really sick of it. This year she had gotten so upset that she said now that I’m eighteen years old she would kick me out of the house if I did not step it up and get Emma something truly meaningful. Now I had no job, and was going to the local community college because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. My parents were very wealthy and while I did have the smallest room in the house, it was still a big room and an incredible house. Also, I know that rent is crazy high, so I wasn’t really excited about the thought of leaving. I told my mom that I would get her a great gift, and then forgot all about our conversation.

I was getting quite distracted with this new friend I had made, Becka. She was one of Emma's friends. She had met in one of her classes and I had a huge crush on her. It broke my heart when Emma told me that Becka thought that her “gay stepbrother” was so much fun. I wasn’t gay. I'm not exactly why so many people have mistaken me as gay throughout my life. I asked Emma if she had corrected her about that, but she said no, that the conversation just moved on, and she thought it would be weird to just bring it back up. Becka also hadn’t brought it up to me directly, so I thought it would be weird to just throw that out there. So I tried to see if, over time, I could convince her that not only was I straight, but that I was into her. We talked a bunch, and she often invited me to hang out with her and Emma. But soon after that conversation with my mom, Becka started asking me to just hand out even when Emma was busy.

I, of course, was super excited to spend time with her, just the two of us. She was a lot more touchy-feely with me. Constantly holding my hand or putting her arm around my waist. She was also a lot more personal with the things she shared and would act flirtatiously with me even! It never came up that she thought I was gay, but I was suspicious that she still might think I was. She would constantly send me things, like clothes, shoes, nails, makeup, or hairstyles and ask what I thought about them. I wasn’t sure if that was because she still might think I was gay though. She did seem really satisfied with my answers, but I’ve been having those conversations with my mom and Emma my whole life. So maybe I just had a good eye for that stuff? Or maybe she wanted to see what I liked, so she could look good for me? That thought got me wondering about that even more and I desperately wanted to know the answer. So this just led to us hanging out and talking even more.

Emma and my mom both noticed that I had taken an interest in Becka, unlike any of the other gal friends I had in the past. Emma thought that it was good that I was finally having "girl" talk all on my own. My mom seemed to agree and they both seemed to encourage our interactions. Before I knew it, however, it was the week of Christmas and I realized I hadn’t gotten Emma anything! I started to panic because I had no idea what to get her! I looked through every single online store I knew she liked, often asking Becka what her thoughts were about this skirt, or dress, or shoes or something. But Becka would point out that most of them wouldn’t make it in time for Christmas. I had told her about the ultimatum my mom had given me, and Becka was surprised I had given her such bad gifts. She said I had such great taste and clearly cared for Emma. She said that no clothes could be meaningful enough to make up for all the years I gave such bad gifts. I needed to do better.

She encouraged me to think back over all the years and see if there was anything that Emma always wanted but never got. If I could get her that, then I would give her a gift that would be truly meaningful. It took me awhile, going back in my mind over every purse, top, heels, makeup, everything I could think of that she wanted through the years. Just to realize she had gotten them all. There was nothing I could think of. And then I saw an ad for a “makeover day” from some salon, and I remembered all of those days my Mom Emma and I used to do. How she always wanted to dress me up and be her doll. I decided that it was free, quick, and meaningful. After all, it was the gift she always wanted and never got. It was the gift my Mother had always wanted too, she just never asked for it directly. She loved Emma, and was so glad to have her as a daughter, but she still truly wished that I had been born a girl. So I thought it would be my gift to them both. Emma could have her doll for the day and my mom could have her second daughter for the day. All I would have to do is wear some makeup and some girls' clothes for the day around the house, and they would both be happy.

So a few days before Christmas I wrote a card to Emma saying that I would be her doll and that she could dress me up however she wanted and I'd do whatever she wanted. In hindsight, I should have worded that very differently. I though shed put some makeup on me, have me try on a few things, see how silly I looked, and then we would just hang around and watch some Christmas movies or something. I also wrote a card to my Mom and told her that I would be Emmas' doll to dress up and command and that I would also be her “daughter” too. We could have a nice time just the three of us and have a special dinner. I knew my stepdad was out of the country for the rest of the year working and wouldn't be home.

I gave them both the cards that morning with the coffee I had prepared for them. They both looked at me suspiciously as I brought them their coffees on a tray with my handmade letters. They both took their coffees and had a sip, then proceeded to both read my cards. As they read, both of their jaws dropped almost in unison as the joy and realization of what I had just given them washed over their minds. They both looked at each other in shock. “Oh MY GOD!!! NO WAY!! I FINALLY GET TO MAKE YOU MY DOLL AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!!” Emma screamed with excitement and she started to cry. The reality of all these years wanting and finally getting was almost too much. My mother was already crying. You could tell she was in a storm of emotions. She felt bad and guilty for wishing I was a girl, but grateful for this opportunity and excited to have me as one of her daughters. They both hugged me together and cried. I couldn’t believe just how big of a gift this actually was to them.

After a good cry and lots of appreciative thanks, the excitement quickly overtook them and Emma rushed off to her room to see what I could wear. I’m very skinny for a boy, and I'm not that tall either, only 5’6”. My mother was wiser and came out with a measuring tape to take my measurements to see if id even fit. It wasn’t very rewarding to hear we were both the exact same size, a woman’s small. Emma was overjoyed with the news that everything in her huge walk in closet was game. She hardly knew where to start. My mom suggested that we start with “her” makeup and hair, and then have fun seeing which outfits we would like to see “her” in. My mom and Emma both seemed so excited, and all too natura,l to start calling me female pronouns, almost as if they had been doing it behind my back for years.

Emma thought my Mom's idea was a great one, and they started to look for makeup inspiration. Emma commanded me to, in the meantime, go take a shower in her bathroom and use her soap and to shave off everything below my eyelashes. I felt like that was little too much for this one day, but I didn’t want to start this off by arguing against it, so I did what she commanded. I hardly had any body hair, mostly just a little in my armpits and my pubs, and some peach fuzz on my arms and legs. I wasn’t a hairy guy at all. So there wasn’t a lot of work to do. It did feel weird being completely hairless though. I dried myself off with Emmas' big fluffy light pink towels and felt kind of weird drying off my smooth skin. I looked at myself naked and hairless in her full-length mirror. I hadn’t seen my naked body like this before. I didn’t have a full-length mirror in my bathroom. I wasn’t very excited by what I saw. Maybe it was just because I had just shaved my whole body, or maybe because I smelled strongly like a girl, or maybe because I was in such a girly-looking light pink bathroom, but what I was seeing made me think I might regret this decision to be their doll. Staring back at me in the mirror was a long bond hair, tiny waist, hour-glass figure, no boobs, big hips, big ass, tiny little microndick, trans looking girl. My heart sank. I didn’t think I looked this way!!

I looked down at my dick, from this angel it didn’t look that small, not big or anything, but in the mirror it looked like it was just this little nub. And I had no idea I had such girly hips! I had almost no muscle tone, which didn’t help me either. I wrapped the towel around me and headed back into Emma's room. My mother and Emma were in a frenzy getting the makeup out and all the outfits they wanted to see me in. When they noticed my arrival, my mother expressed how me in a towel simply won’t do, that I needed to go put on one of Emmas robes. I just nodded my head and went back into her bathroom and looked in the back of the door at her robe collection. There were some fuzzy long ones, long and short satin ones, as well as long and short sheer ones. As I was looking between them, I head Emmas shout from her room for me to wear the short light pink satin one. It hardly covered past my butt, but the smooth feel of the satin wrapped around my smooth naked body felt amazing.

I walked out to see the two of them hovering around Emmas' vanity comparing photos of different makeup looks. I stood and waited patiently for them to decide. My mother told me to sit down. I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt like I had made a very bad chose, but it already felt too late to change my mind, they were both so clearly excited about this. They decided on the look and then my mother left to get herself ready for the day and Emma got to work on my makeup. As she worked away, I got a little glimpse of her progress in the mirror, but she had me mostly facing away from it, or closing my eyes weirdly, or making some silly face. I couldn't tell if that was for her internment or because she actually needed me to make that face. I also never saw their reference photos, so I had no idea how I was going to turn out.

My mother returned, and her makeup was done to the extreme, like she was going on a night out. She looked stunning. She’s always kept great care of her appearance and looked incredibly youthful for her age. Finally, I got to see all the work Emma did on me, and I couldn’t believe my own eyes!! There was no way that sexy blond bombshell staring back at me was me!! I couldn’t ever believe I was a guy!! Emma was very proud of her work, commenting on how pretty I was, and how I was more beautiful than most of the girls she knew. My mom seemed to feel the same way. I didn’t want to agree with them, but I felt like they were right. My mother then got to work on my hair and my nails as Emma did her makeup. She went all out to match my and my mom's appearance. You’d think there were just three girls getting ready to go clubbing or something, but it was only like nine in the morning! Emma seemed to work much faster on herself, then she did on me, and by the time my hair was done, she was almost done with her own makeup. I finished my coffee finally as I waited. I just sat and listened to them talk about how they should dress me.

Then my mom said that it's hard to tell exactly what they are working with, they had only seen me in silly boy clothes after all. She looked at me and said, “Stand up sweetie, take off your robe, let's see what your body looks like, girl!” I was surprised and shocked by this. I just stared confused, “That's a great idea mom! Let's see, Alexa, what kind of figure you have! It’ll make this decisions so much easier.” Emma chimed in. My voice shook as I nervously replied, “you want to see me, naked?!” My mother, kind of annoyed of me for even questioning her, “Yes, you heard me, take your robe off. Don’t be so silly about this, I’m your mother. I changed your dippers! And she’s your sister. We are all family here. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” I wasn’t sure what to do, but I felt like this was a battle I was going to lose anyway. She was right, we are family. I slowly untied the satin belt and let the robe slide off my shoulders as it fell to the ground.

My mother and sister gasped loudly at the sight of my naked body. “oh my god” my mother hardly got out from under her breath as she clearly couldn't believe her own eyes. “Holy shit Alexa!! You have like a perfect woman's body!!!” Emma said with both excitement and shock. They then both just stared, stunned and overwhelmed by what they were looking at. Their eyes just moving up and down, studding every inch of me, their mouths hung open in shock. “Turn around, let's see your back side.” My mother hardly got out, the mixture of excitement and shock clear in her voice. I slowly spun around, my face so red from embarrassment I could feel the heat in my cheeks. As I showed them my back, another stunned “oh my god” was let out from both of them. I completed my slow spin with my face looking at the floor, my eyes watering as the tears welled up. I knew why they were so shocked. It's because of how girly my body was, I just never knew it was that bad.

“Honey, I had no idea, this whole time it was like the universe was answering my dreams! You have one of the most perfect feminine figures I’ve ever seen! I mean your missing some boobs, but that can always be fixed. And your little thing is so incredibly unbelievably small! No one would even notice! Most guys wouldn’t even care you're a boy with how little it is, and how sexy and feminine the rest of your body is! They would be desperate to have a sexy little thing like you!” My mother spoke so quickly as her excitement took over her shock. This energy seemed to be contagious as Emma quickly jumped in. “Oh my god, I can’t believe just how right she is!! Or that I’m jealous of my stepbrother's body!!” I knew that was silly, Emma was one of the prettiest girls I know, and all the guys want to date her, she could literally be a model. “You couldn’t be more girly!! You really are so small, I think some girls' clits might be bigger than that! And why are your balls almost nonexistent? They are like the size of marbles, if even! Oh my god, this day is going to be even more fun than I thought it would be!! Mom, this changes so much about how we thought we would dress her!” Emma and my mother started to talk as they rushed into her closet to pick stuff out, leaving me to stand there desperately trying not to cry from my humiliation and embarrassment.

I tried so hard to contain myself as the experience of what had just happened and what had just been said about me soaked in. Their reactions were far too genuine to be fake, far too shocked and sincere. They really did think I looked like a sexy woman, and apparently, that my dick is so incredibly tiny and my body is the essence of femininity that most men would be happy to overlook the hard to believe fact that I was even a male just to have sex with me. I can’t believe it, I tried so hard to convince myself for years that I was just being silly. That my body didn’t look that feminine, that I did look like a guy. I hid myself in baggy clothes to clear up any thoughts that someone might have about my body being girly.

“Alexa, here, put these on sweetie.” My mother said, breaking me from my quick spiral into depression by handing me a small black g string thong. I was so numb at the moment I just took them, and without thinking, slipped them up my legs. Emma let out a laugh. ”Oh my god, I can’t even tell you have anything in your panties you're so small!! You were meant to be a girl because there's not a woman on earth who'd want that little thing!” My mother tried to cover up her laughter too. They both just thought it was so funny how much of a failure as a man I was. Emma then pulled out a very tiny black vinyl pleated micro skirt. “How’s this?” She said with an almost wicked smile on her face. My mom, as if reading her mind, knew exactly what she meant. “Yes! You pick out the top, I'll grab the stockings and the heels.!!” The excitement they both shared almost couldn’t be contained as they rushed quickly to complete the outfit.

My mother handed me a pair of sheer stockings. I knew how to put them on, although I had never actually done it before. I sat down and carefully rolled them up, trying not to tear the delicate fabric with my long fake nails. I slowly rolled them up my legs, taking great care as well. I then tried my best to match the tops and made sure they both looked nice. By the time I had finished, they had assembled the rest of the outfit. Emma motioned to the clothes laid out on her bed. “A sexy fun black vinyl off the shoulder crop top, to match the black vinyl sexy flirtatious skirt. Its perfect skirt for you because its very, very “MICRO”, just like you!” Emma and my mom both laughed at that. “And to top it off, these perfect six inch black patient leather “fuck me” pumps!” This caused them to both giggle again.

I already felt defeated, and just wanted to get this over with. I angrily grabbed the top. I immediately loved the feeling of the smooth vinyl in my hands. I slid on the top and as soon as I got it on Emma walked over and shoved two pieces of silicon into the top. It looked like I had small boobs! “What is that?” I asked, confused as to why she had this. “Sometimes you want the girls to seem a little bit larger, you stuff this in the bottom of your bra and no one knows! But they'll turn your no cup into a B cup! Your girly figure is even more complete!!” She said with pride in her voice. My mom thought that was a very nice touch. I sighed, I had no fight in me, and dreaded making this even worse as I slid the skirt on and zipped it up. It hardly covered the front of me, and only covered two thirds of my butt. “Oh my god your ass is so big and perky the skirt can’t even cover it! How do guys not hit on you every day with a booty that fuckable?” They both laughed again. My face red with embarrassment again, I slipped on the pumps and stood there feeling ridiculous, vulnerable, humiliated, and terrified about how well I resembled a sexy slutty girl that most men would fantasize about.

Then I noticed my mother and Emma had their phones out!! “Wait, are you taking pictures?!” I was horrified at the thought of any proof of this existing. “No sweetie, I’m filming this whole thing! This is just too precious to miss!” My mom said, smiling “I’m the one taking pictures! Hey, that’s a great idea! Let's have a photo shoot!!” Emma said with such excitement. “No please! I don’t want anyone to see this!” I desperately tried to plead to them. But they clearly didn’t care. “To bad girly! Start posing!” Emma shot back as she then started commanding me into poses that a girl would make in sexually suggestive ways. My mother continued to film. I looked down at myself as I reluctantly posed for them. I couldn’t see a single hint of masculinity. I hoped so desperately that this would had gone differently. That they would had dressed me up, saw how ridiculous I looked, and then moved on. But when Emma showed me some of the photos she took of me and I saw that the girl in the photos was the exact type of girl I would have touched myself too, I knew this was far far from over.

They picked out more outfits for me to model and take photos in. They were either something slutty a girl would wear to attract the attention of a guy, or ultra feminine outfits that only the most girl girls would wear, or some combination of both. This went on for hours. Finally, around one thirty, they decided to take a break and asked me to go make them both an iced coffee. They instructed that I stay dressed how I was. My pink vinyl pleaser adore snadels clicked on the tile floors as I worked. My white stockings with a light pink bow at the top were held up by the white garter belt lingerie set I was wearing. My tight light pink micro leather skirt that hardly covered my butt. It was hard to lean over or breathe from the very tight white leather corset they had wrapped around my torso. I felt so ridiculous because I was so aware how girly and sexy I looked.

When I returned, they had a new outfit laid out on the bed. A pair of five inch chunky heel black vinyl booties, red vinyl pants, a tight sheer white long sleeve crop top with a plain black pushup bra to wear underneath and a cropped leather jacket with fur trim. Emma was going through her closet picking out more clothes. My mom was on her phone. When I entered, she stood and took the coffee from me. “Wow, that outfit really suits you!" She said with a sparkle in her eye. "Thank you my little princess, I love you so much more as my daughter! Now be a good girl and go put on your new outfit, I’m going to go get ready too.” She said as she walked out of the room. “Get ready for what?” I yelled out to her but she didn't respond. Emma emerged from her closet half dressed, she took her coffee from me, as she turned to reenter her closet she casually said, “To go to the mall of course princess! Were going shopping!” “What!!??!!” I blurted out as fear washed over me. “You heard me girl! Go get dressed!” Emma responded with no empathy for me.

“No way! I can’t go to the mall looking like this!!” I started to panic. “I don’t want you to go the the mall looking like this!” Emma turned around quickly with anger in her eyes and yelled as she gestured up and down my outfit. “You look like a total slut! No, I want you to go to the mall looking like that!” She pointed to the outfit on her bed. “You said that you would do whatever I asked! You weren’t lying to me, were you?? Are you really going to ruin the best Christmas present I’ve ever received? Or the best present moms ever received?” She said sternly. I was quiet and afraid. I also felt guilty, but I didn't want to be seen by anyone I knew. “But what if someone recognizes me?” I shyly spoke. “Girl, I don’t even recognize you! There is no way anyone else could! Not go get dressed!” Emma turned and went back into her closet, and with that, the conversation was over. I hesitated, but I knew I really didn’t have much of a chose. I couldn’t untie the corset with my long nails and Emma had to help me.

I felt so nervous as I sat in the car on our way to the mall. Emma sat in the front seat and kept taking selfies of herself, my mom driving, with me in the back. I noticed she was posting them to her story on Insta. “You're not posting that are you?!” I said, the fear clear in my voice. “Yeah, but I never said it was you, I only said that I was on a girls trip to the mall with the fam.” She said like it was no big deal. “Stop fighting girls. Alexa, leave Emma alone, she can post whatever she wants. Besides, we're almost at the mall, and girls don’t fight at the mall. Do you understand a little miss?”she said sternly as she looked at me in the rear view mirror. “Yes.” I said, upset and defeated. “Good girl.” She said with a smile clearly pleased with how girly and obedient I was being.

The mall was, of course, super busy with all the holiday shopping people were doing, so we had to park pretty far from the entrance to the mall. My heart was racing as I got out of the car and a shiver ran up my back as the cold winter air hit my exposed mid drift. As we walked the long way through the parking lot, the sound of all of our heels clicking echoed loudly, calling for the attention of everyone nearby. Right away I noticed some guy just staring at us. I was completely humiliated. I can’t believe it, but I was really hoping Emma was right that no one would recognize me as a man. That would be more embarrassing than people just thinking I was a slutty girl. I did notice that both Emma and my mom had done their makeup to match mine in its intensity and very “extra” nature, their outfits were cute and trendy, but didn’t call for the same amount of attention as the outfit they put me in. My mom whispered to me “sway your hips a little more sweetie, really move them more, let your whole body get pulled along by your hips.”

I did as I was told, but out of spite I tried to completely over dramatize it. I felt completely ridiculous and was sure my mom would tell me to knock it off and tone it down, but instead she seemed to love it. “Perfect job sweetie! That’s mom’s good little girl! Don’t you dare walk any differently this entire time, or you’ll only be wearing g string thongs and short skirts for the rest of your life! Do you understand?” her intensity showed that she was serious. “Yes mom.” I was scared by her threat, she really meant it. As we got close to the doors to the mall there were tons of people around already, just coming and going, but all the people were staring at us as they went on their way. I saw a group of boys I knew from high school who had picked on me and, unfortunately, one of them saw me looking at them, and he must have thought I was checking him out or something because he smiled in a creepy way and winked at me as he said. “Hey babygirl, what are you doing later? You want a BIG Christmas gift?” His budds laughed as they stared at me, this lust clear in their eyes. I looked at the ground to hide how embarrassed I was. But I was thankful that he clearly didn’t recognize me.

Both Emma and my mother thought it was entertaining for me to get hit on. “Why don’t you blow him a kiss Alexa!” Emma teased me. “No!” I tried to get out under my breath. “Alexa, you said you’d be Emmas' doll and do whatever she said, now follow through on your Christmas gift and blow those strong good looking boys a very flirtatious kiss.” My heart beating so fast as I realized just how screwed I was. I had no pride left to swallow, so I did as I was told and blew them a kiss in a very dramatic gesture. My mom and Emma both giggled as we walked past them and entered the mall. My life was never going to be the same after this.

Our first stop was one of the first stores we came across. It was clearly a woman’s only store that seemed to only carry trendy clothes. Emma and my mom were both so excited, and they immediately got straight into shopping, looking at the clothes with such judgment and speed that you’d think it was their job. I just followed along next to them as they constantly held up one idem to me after another, both quickly gathering a small group of clothes. Emma looked at me, and noticed I had nothing, and was doing nothing. “Look sis, you’ve been on enough shopping trips with us to know how this works. It's just this time it's YOU we are shopping for. Now get to it and start looking for things you think are cute, trendy, or sexy. If it's not one of those three, move on. If it is, hold onto it, then you’ll go try them on. Let's work fast, this is only our first stop, and we only have a few more hours before the mall closes!” She then got right back to rifling through the racks of clothes.

She was right, I had been dragged along on these shopping trips my whole life, I knew most of the stores, I knew the “mission” of each trip. This time we were looking for trendy, cute, or sexy. Sometimes it's classy, or timeless, conservative, comfy, athletic, etc. I sighed as I accepted my task and got to work. It was actually helpful to keep my mind occupied instead of constantly worrying about what people were thinking of me, and why they were staring at me. Was it because they thought I was a super pretty girl? Or did they think I was some weird boy dressed as a girl? Neither made me feel good. But that all faded as I looked through the clothes. It was familiar and comforting. Before too long, the three of us had covered every inch of that store and met up at the dressing rooms, each with a dozen or so items.

“In you go sweetie! Remember we want to see every piece.” My mom commanded as she gestured to the changing room. I tried on one thing after another. Each time I came out and did a little modeling for them. They would have me turn around, and then judge it yes or no. My mom took the yeses once I had gotten them off and Emma took the no’s. Once I was finally back out in the clothes in the clothes I came in with, Emma was the only one waiting for me. “Where’s mom?” Emma started off walking as I rushed to fallow. “She’s at the register buying your new clothes silly!” She was walking so fast that I was struggling in my high heels to keep up as we waved our way through the store avoiding other shoppers and displays. “What do you mean my new clothes?!” I shouted back as I tried my best to keep up.

We exited the store to find my mother standing waiting for us with a shopping bag in her hand. As soon as we got to my mom, she took off, walking to the next store at a quick pace. Emma kept up just fine, but I felt like I could fall at any moment at that speed. Swaying my hips like my mother demanded was not the fastest way to walk. I repeated myself this time so they both could hear me. “What do you mean buying MY new clothes?!” the nervousness in my voice was clear. “What don’t you understand about that statement?” Emma replied as they were quickly getting farther away from me. I couldn’t go their pace and my mind was running so fast. Why would they be buying me girls clothes?? This is just for one day!? Just then, a slap on my ass brought me back to reality and I looked at the tall black guy who was clearly the only one close enough to do that. Even in my heels he towered over me. He just gave me a wink and said, “Hey baby girl.” In his deep voice. I was immediately filled with fear at the vulnerable nature I was in and wished I didn't look like a sexy girl or was forced to dress and walk like a slut.

Not knowing how to respond to this, “Hi.” I hardly squeezed out as I tried to walk away as quickly as I could. Emma and my mom noticed the whole thing, and they thought it was so funny as they giggled entering the next store. It was there that I finally caught back up to them. “ I don’t understand why we're buying ME clothes? This was just for today! And that's almost over!” I was frantic and overwhelmed by everything going on. “One day? I didn’t see a time frame anywhere on the card you wrote. Besides, you're too perfect of a girl for this to just be one day!” Emma said, so matter of fact. My mother then said coldly“Emmas' right Alexa. You're the second daughter I've always wanted, and the sister Emma deserves. So, if you are going to continue to live at my house rent free and have me pay for everything, then you will do so as my daughter. Full time. Every second, of every day. No exceptions. If you want to be a silly little pathetic boy that no girl would ever want, then you will move out and pay your own way through life. But you will be written out of my will, and you will receive no help from me either. Now you can have the rest of the day to think about this. But in the meantime, you will help us shop and enjoy the rest of our Christmas gift. And if you decide to leave us tonight, then these clothes Emma can wear, so there’s nothing lost there. Now go shop.”

She then went right back to shopping, as if she didn’t just tell me that I'll either live the rest of my life as a girl or be forced to not be a part of the family anymore. Well, now I had this crazy thing in my mind as I tried to shop. It was not easy with my mind racing, and I was much slower. I was completely numb as I went through the rest of the day. Going from store to store, looking at a bunch of clothes, then trying them on, then buying more. As the bags grew in numbers in our hands, I just grew more numb, almost on autopilot, hardly able to think, and only had simple short responses. My mom and Emma seemed to be loving this whole day, however. Once the bags got too many for us to carry, we walked back to the car to drop them off, then headed back inside the mall to now shop on the second story.

As we took the escalator up, Emma snapped another picture of me. “Oh my god I love this so much!!” Emma said, letting out a little scream of joy as she took my photo of me.“I can not believe just how right I was about you Alexa!! Your body is so girly!! No one would ever know you're actually a boy!! I can’t believe I have my own life size doll!! This is my new favorite Christmas gift I could ever get!!” She continued, not even trying to hide her joy. Once we got to the top, she stopped me and gave me a huge hug. I could feel just how happy she was. I wonder if she could feel the emotional battle I was experiencing. I looked at my mother, and I saw a pure joy on her face I had never seen before. She was clearly cherishing every single moment of this. As soon as Emma stopped hugging me, my mother did. She then held my face with such warmth and joy in her voice. “You truly are beautiful, and no matter what, I’ll always be proud that you're my child.” She then started to tear up at little and walked off to the next store. None of this helped me fight the battle I was expiring in my heart. I didn’t want to be a girl! But I also love my mom and Emma, and they seem so much happier with me as a girl. Plus, my mom has so much money, I would probably never have to work a day in my life.

As we approached yet another store my heart broke even more. I didn’t even know it could get even worse than it was. A voice spoke loudly behind me “Hey “Alexa”!! Damn, you sure look good girl!!” I recognized it immediately as Becka. My face turned bright red, and I was frozen in place. I was too terrified to face her. Emma was next to me and turned to her super excited. I slowly turned as the two girls greeted each other. “Becka you made it!!” Emma seemed so happy and cheerful. “Of course! I got your message and I had to come see this girl! I have to say, Emma, you under sold just how pretty she is!!” Becka couldn’t take her eyes off of me. “Wow, I really am stunned! You are one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen!! I can not believe that you’re the same person! Girl, I always knew you were a gay little slut deep down!! You are going to be able to get as many guys as you want with that perky ass, little waist, and big dick sucking lips!! I am so excited to have a new girl in our group!! But I need to be honest, I always saw you as a girl anyway, you were just too feminine for anyone to see you as a boy. And now that I see you all dolled up, I can't blame Emma and your mom for keeping you this way, it would be a true crime to the world to keep this girl disguised as a boy for even one more day!!” Becka was truly so excited and couldn’t get over just how girly I looked.

She got right into shopping with us as the conversation about my future took place between the three girls. I just listened to them figure out my own fate as I looked for girly clothes that I'd be forced to wear in this future. They talked about wardrobes, room decorations, going back to school as a girl, workout routines. They even went as far as me taking HRT, getting a boob job, getting castrated or permanently locked in a flat chastity, and dating men. Dating a lot of men. That part Becka and Emma seemed extra excited about, it made them giggle a lot. My mom even seemed supportive of all of their ideas. I was not allowed to object, it was their decision to make, and I was just to listen to them figure out the exact terms of conditions if I was to stay a part of this family. I was terrified at what I was hearing. As we shopped, every time the girls noticed a man checking me out, they made me do something to further humiliate me as they had me flirt subtly with each of them. They had me blow kisses, wink, check out the guy back, shake my ass at him or bend over to show him my ass. They thought it was so entertaining.

As we finished up at the last store, I was thankful for this trip to the mall to finally be over, so we could go home, and I can try and move on from this day. We had bought so many clothes, lingerie, makeup, purses, and shoes, none of which, by the way, were less than a four inch heel! Becka helped us carry all the bags back to our car. There were so many bags that they took up so much space that I could hardly even sit in the back seat. My mom drove us to go have dinner as her and Emma talked. Becka was going to meet us where we were going. I had no idea where that was, but to be honest, my feet hurt so bad that I didn’t even care, I was just so glad to finally be sitting down.

We pulled up to what looked like some kind of sports bar, I noticed it was full of drunk men, and my heart sank. My nightmare was far from over. Emma had me touch up my makeup and add even more lip gloss. As we got out of the car, my mother reminded me how she wanted me to walk, and I felt like a piece of meat, dressed like a slut, being forced to walk like a slut, into the lions' den. My heart was beating so fast as our heels clicked away as we entered the bar. These four glammed up girls called for the attention of everyone as soon as we walked in the door. All the men and what little women there were immediately checked us out. I was again wishing I wasn’t the slutiest dressed one. The men couldn’t seem to stop staring at me as we waited by the door to be seated.

This very pretty hostess showed up after a short time. “Well, don’t you four ladies look stunning! Be careful with the men here, they can come on pretty strong. Especially you sweetie, your outfits is tots cute, but the guys here might like it a little too much if you know what I mean?” She said cheerfully as she winked at me. “Don’t worry, that’s why we’re here, and that’s why she’s dressed this way, this girl needs some action!” Emma said, excited about the news. “This bitch wants to be near some hot studs who will defiantly hit on her! She needs a little self-esteem boost! A reminder that men want her. “ Becka chimed in. The hostess giggled “Well, in that case, I know just where to put you! The men are going to be all over you!” “Perfect! Let’s get this slutty princess some big dick to suck on!” Becka said kind of loudly so some of the guys nearby heard. She leaned in and whispered to me,"Don’t worry, I’m going to make your gay fantasies finally come true! I think it's so hot helping hook up two guys! Or even more! It's one of my favorite hobbies! And you are so fucking sexy even straight guys would want to use your girly little body!” I was completely humiliated, I didn’t want this!

We followed her to the table, which was quite tall, more like a mini bar, that was in the center of the place. We sat on tall bar stools, so guys could check us out from every angle of the bar. If I looked anywhere but the menu, the table, or the girls, all I saw was men checking me out. It was terrifying! Especially now that I know Emmas' and Beckas' true intentions! My mom seemed to even encourage their behavior. I was screwed and had no help from anyone. I had no appetite even though we hadn’t eaten all day. I was happy to be sitting again though. How do girls wear heels all day? I guess that’s why less and less do now these days. The waitress showed up and took our order. My mother got a cocktail, the rest of us us just got water, and we all decided to get salads. As soon as she left, the guys started coming up. Sure they tried to seem casual, just passing by or something, but they all wanted to stop and talk to me. Emma made me give out my insta to all of them. That way they could all dm me. Several of them would even touch me. Putting their hand on the small of my back or even right on my ass as they spoke to me.

I tried so hard not to totally freak out and run away, but I think they thought my disinterest was just me playing hard to get. The more I tried to blow them off, the more aggressive they would be and the longer they would stick around. I learned that if I wanted to get rid of them quickly, I should just comply and give them my info, and they would then leave. By the time we had finished and left the bar, my ass had been slapped ten times, patted twelve, grabbed over twenty, and I had given out my info to over thirty guys. Emma and Becka also got hit on and gave out their info too, but they didn’t get quite the attention I got. My mom even got hit on a handful of times, but she just told them she was happily married to a man with a huge cock. That seemed to turn the guys down real quick.

I was the first one out the door and let me tell you I sure was thankful to have that be over. Becka was going to meet us back at our house. I just wanted this day to be over! By the time we had gotten home, I was so tired, I was emotionally drained by this day. It didn’t go how I thought it would have at all. The girls took as many bags as they could and headed right for my room. I grabbed all that I could and hesitated to follow them to my room. My mind was racing with every step. Do I really want this to be my future? Do I really want to continue life as a girl in exchange for their support and money? I knew just how expensive everything was and how underpaid most people are. I wasn’t sure if I could do that on my own.

The girls dropped off the bags in my room and Emma started rummaging through them as my mom and Becka left to go get more bags. Emma pulled out some clothes and a shoe box, “Go put this on princess, and touch up your lips too.” She commanded as she handed the items to me on her way out the door. I took the outfit and walked into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, still not recognizing the reflection of the pretty girl looking back at me as myself. I took my time and carefully reapplied the lip liner, lipstick, and then the lip gloss to recreate the look that Emma had made on me. I then undressed myself, carefully folded Emma's clothes in a nice pile. I took the black leather halter top she had picked and put it on. I put the silicon inserts back in to make it look like I had small boobs. I knew that’s what Emma wanted. Then I slipped on the black leather micro circle skirt. It was so short it couldn’t even cover all of my butt, a small amount was peeking out from the bottom. I opened the shoe box and pulled out the thigh high black leather high heel boots and zipped them up. I was so broken, looking down at myself and seeing the girly body dressed like a slut, the exact thing I would jerk off too. I was any and wet dream. Could I really accept this as my life??

I exited my bathroom to find that the girls had brought up the rest of the bags and were just finishing taking all of my clothes from my closet and putting them in a pile by the door. As my mom handed Emma the last item, I noticed her taking a pair of sizers and cutting them so they could never be worn again. A wicked smile came across her face as she noticed the shock and realization of what they had done set in and became visible. “What- what did you do!?” I was frantic as I rushed to check my dresser, it was completely empty, so was the closet. “Mom gave you a chose to make. These are your new clothes.” Emma said, gesturing to the large amount if bags on the floor and the outfit I was wearing. “You can either accept and be her new daughter, and my sister, or you can leave and be completely on your own. But she paid for these boy clothes, they’re hers, not yours. Same with the car you’re allowed to drive, the phone you use or anything else really!” My mouth just hung open in shock as I listened to Emma speak. My mother walked up and stood behind her, clearly supporting what she was saying.

“So you can either help us put YOUR new clothes away in YOUR new cute little outfit. Or you can leave. Right now. Without wearing MY new cute little outfit. But I’m not that mean. As a going away gift I'll let you keep that g string and the makeup you’re wearing, so you’re not completely naked. But that will be all that you own, that will be the only thing in the whole world to your name. It seems the least I can do, since I won't ever see you again.” her evil smile grew, and was matched by my mother behind her. They knew they had me cornered. I had no choice but to agree. “So what will it be “Alexa”? Are you going to be a good girl? Or a homeless girly boy with nothing but a thong?” My mom added sternly, upset with my quite stalling. “I’m sure the police won’t like that, but I’m sure the men in prison would LOVE that!” Becka snickered. She was clearly enjoying this.

With my head hung low and tears filled my eyes, I tried to speak, but I couldn’t even get a single word out. My whole world had crumbled, and I had no choice but to accept my life long, never ending imprisonment in femininity. I opened my mouth to speak, the girls clearly waiting with anticipation for my response, but I couldn’t even make a sound. I couldn’t verbally admit my fate as a girl. Instead, I hung my head, and whipped the tears from my eyes as carefully as I could to not ruin my makeup. I slowly started to walk, the girls clearly confused by my actions, but it all became clear as I slowly reached down and grabbed a short little vinyl dress from one of the bags and walked into the closet to hang it up. “Good choice.” Emma said, as my mother and Becka agreed. They all laughed, very pleased with themselves for the destruction of the rest of my male life. They then started to help by grabbing items and taking them into the closet to be hung. I tried my best not to completely cry as the girls talked about how excited they were about my chose. Becka loved teasing me about my future, and all the men that Emma and her were going to make me please. She loved rubbing that in.

Once we finished putting everything away, the girls decided it was very late, and they thought it was time for bed. They both wished me goodnight as my mom and Emma left for their rooms to go to bed. Becka went into her purse and pulled out a long box. “Practice up girl, Emma and I are taking you out for a party on New Years. We expect you to be a complete expert with your mouth, so you won't embarrass us by then. I know you'll have fun!” She said with a wink as she left my room. I opened it up and pulled out a huge ten inch realistic dildo. Once she closed my door and I was finally left alone, I started to cry uncontrollably as I collapsed to my knees in tears with the dildo sill in my hands. I knew I had to do this. I didn't want to, but I had to be a good girl. I had to be a good little slutty girl for the rest of my life.

-Katierosedreams Og Cap

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weridpersonhelp · 2 years ago

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Red Phone [6]

Previous - Next?

master list!

warning: slightly scary, first-time horror writer, stalking, confusion, gramma and spell mistakes, screaming, getting up a horrible hour of night, neurodivergent reader, slow burnish? , x reader, children, puppets, curse langue, music, be ready for cringe!

“Safa you’re not going to believe what I’m going to tell you!”

“Okay but first I need to share what a found on that welcome home show! It turns out there is a website on it! It has the neighbours and everything, in fact they have a mission of finding all lost information on the show! It was started in 1969 and ended in 1974. The company says it’s because they ran out of money but there could have been a different reason, I mean it was doing extremely well, and people from all different ages loved it even parents. I’ll send you the link, anyway what was it that you wanted to tell me?” by the time she was done I had run upstairs to my room and shut the door slowly making sure it didn’t creek.

“Huh? Oh! Well, there was this weird phone that kept ringing in my grandma’s remember and how grandma acted weird about it?”

“yeah girl! Who was it? And old friend of your dead grandpa?! A mysterious man wanting to talk to you grandma? A murderer?!?!?!” Safa asks in excitement.

“umm, not exactly maybe the last one. But I picked up the phone last night and answered-“ Safa gasps dramatically, while she processes what happened. While she does that I open out texts and type in the link she sent me.

“No fucking way, who was it?”

“his name is Wally, and he was looking to speak to my grandpa. I explained how he passed he shocked, then explained he wanted to ask him something, I don’t know what. But then went to ask if my grandma was their but I said she was busy. Knowing if I told her I picked up she would of killed me, literally. He asked who I was I said only my name. but he seemed like a nice guy, he plays piano and paints, also he’s in a different time zone then us!” I explain to her, though I know safa is going to be a bit of a worry wort about it. But that’s one of the things I love about her, how she was so caring and worried about me. If I was being honest she showed me more care then my mother has ever done in a life time.

“Y/n this man could be 30! Hell, if he knew your grandpa then be in his late 40’s or just getting into his 50’s!” Safa says as I spin around in the wheely chair.

“it’s not like we where flirting, he was just very easy to talk too!, he’s going to call tonight again!”

Y/N! This is not a good idea!” “

“oh, come on Safa, it’s not like he knows where I am. If he did he would of come here a while ago and talked to my grandma instead of calling all the time.” “Y/n this could be an old man, this isn’t safe in the slightest. I know I can’t stop you but promise me you’ll be careful? Try not to share too much information about yourself and ask as many questions as you can. Example how old he is!” Safa scolds me.

“He’s homeowner age! Plus where 18 we can date older guys now.”

“Yeah but not too old, we don’t want to be a sugar baby already! anyway have you checked out the website?”

“What’s wrong with being a sugar baby but any ways. Yeah, it’s very well done, I haven’t watched all the episode yet but it seems like they have done pretty well. Who’s your favourite neighbour?”

“Eddie’s cute but Howdy is so hot-“ “SAFA HE’S A CATERPILLAR!”

“SO?!?! THEIR PUPPETS! IT’S NOT LIKE THEY ARE REAL AND WE COULD MARRY THEM OR SOMETHING!” I shake my head at my friend choice in men, or puppets? caterpillars?

“You have interesting taste my guy-““Says you! Your taste in guys is not better than mine!” Safa says trying to defend herself, I roll my eyes at my friend though she can’t see them I know she knows.

“I like men who are tall! Human- ““What about Neteyam-“ “Do not bring the boys into this.”

Safa cracks up laughing, knowing very well we have similar taste in guys. After she was done laughing, I closed the website before adding it to my favrioutes.

“Anyway, again with the old man- ““we don’t know if he’s actually an old man yet!”

“Still, ask him for his actual number maybe? Just remember to be safe, I don’t trust him.”

“You’ve never met him! And I’ve barely even met this guy, he’s calling me to night okay. Don’t worry.”

“DINNER TIME” Mum screams from the kitchen...

“Oh sorry Safa, dinner time.”

“Your fine girlie, remember to ask this guy’s age! And his experiences to know his-“I cut my friend off done with talking about the person who called me last night. I turn off my computer and head downstairs, to a well cooked and delicious meal!

{hi everyone the results are in, and it seems everyone want them to some to life! but i forgot to add a thrid opption where I combined them but meh-

anyways this is where the story will be going, I hope thoese who's option was not picked still continue reading! and thank you for the support i have reviced!

if any of you have sugestion please comment or if you just wanna say hi! Thank again for reading and have a lovely evening.} Tag: @quittingfortgebetter @egg1sblog @ice-cream-writes-stuff @thealreadyunsteadyteddynewpaper @narucore

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cheerfullycatholic · 9 months ago

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Hi I’m about to type out quite a lot probably so I’m sorry I’m advance but I can’t believe how sad, emotional and kind of envious I feel right now because I haven’t felt this way for SUCH a long time.

One of my friends growing up moved away a while ago and honestly we don’t really keep in contact much. We just kind of went our separate ways but still follow each other on social media. She’s not a Christian and used to be kind of wild and I definitely had my fair share of coming away from Christ moments during these times but anyway, I found out recently that she’s expecting a baby with her boyfriend and they’re not married but for some reason it made me feel like I was kind of jealous of the life they have together in some way? Even though I’m not and wouldn’t want a child yet anyhow. I then come across her instagram page where it was full of ‘luxurious’ type vibes of her and her boyfriend, the best fashion, this almost bougie looking life focused on looking good, getting the best pics and eating at the best places and whilst I know how fake part of this can be, I suddenly felt this urge to cry like I’m a faliiure etc and it’s made worse by the fact that my recent job contract ended and I found out that I have autism ; the reason why I’m constantly burned out and struggling more and I know how she used to basically call me weird (in the nicest way possible) but yeah, I think I just feel overrun with sad emotions like I’ll never be this person who she is and what she has in the sense that it feels like a tragic failing on my end.

I’m desperate for others advice btw if anyone has any too and prayer

I think mourning the person you want to be but can't be is something a lot of people do, especially during these times where everyone puts all of the best and most exciting parts of their lives on social media. And I think that's important. Mourning helps us to eventually let go and find some peace in our identities. Saying "I can't have this life and that makes me sad" will eventually lead to "God, what life can I have? What will make me happy?" We were all built different, so one way of living won't work for everyone, and sometimes, that one way of living isn't healthy for us, either. Maybe log off of social media for awhile. Try just a week, and take that time to focus on what you think God is asking of you, and what you think His plan for your life is. I don't know how much it would help you and it's geared towards younger teens so sometimes reading it as an adult is kinda eh (though idk your age) but I think Decision Point by Matthew Kelly might be of a little help to you. It's a workbook I was given in my Catechism class when I was being Confirmed into the Church, and although I didn't appreciate it at the time, I've really grown to like and understand the messages in it. You can buy it here if you'd like, or I could always type up the chapters on here for you and anyone else who may be interested. I don't know how much trouble I'd get into for that 😅 and I wouldn't be able to include everything in it because there's some cool artwork and crossword puzzles and stuff like that, but I'd be willing to put the rest on here

And of course, you're in my prayers 🖤

#prayer request #advice #please anyone reading this dont be shy to add your thoughts as well

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motownfiction · 11 months ago

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unexpected prophet

Will could have stayed at the hotel, but he didn’t. He has this thing about being alone now. He’s never liked it, per se, but it’s gotten worse since Sam died. Just over four months since his funeral now, and it seems weird not to know where Lucy is at all times. So, when she had to sit for a dissertation defense of some wannabe novelist she’s only met in person twice, he came to the English building along with her. It’s better knowing she’s right behind that door. He can’t believe they had to leave Emma with Carrie and Charlie.

That’s when a little girl in an Alice in Wonderland dress runs past him, unafraid of anything, laughing loudly in a quiet hallway. A harried woman chases after her.

“Faye!” the woman calls after the little girl. “Faye Egan, you come here now!”

“Which one’s Daddy?” the girl laughs, trying to see through closed doors.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Why not?”

“Because we don’t want to distract him.”

“Dis-tract! Dis-tract!”

The woman scurries down the hallway and picks up the little girl. She looks at Will with exhaustion in her eyes, and something in them reminds him of Lucy.

“Sorry,” the woman says. “My husband’s defending his dissertation right now, and somebody’s a little tired of waiting.”

“No problem,” Will says. “Is she four?”

“Actually, yeah. Should I ask how you know?”

Will laughs.

“It’s nothing,” he says. “I’ve got two daughters. Got pretty good at guessing ages the more they started making friends.”

“Oh. How old are your kids, then?”

“Eight and nineteen.”

The woman looks at him like she doesn’t believe him. Will laughs again. That’s his favorite part of listing Emma’s age first.

“And I’m twenty-three, so, how did that happen?” he jokes.

The woman laughs, too.

“So, don’t worry about your little miss bothering me,” Will says. “I’m used to it.”

The little girl – Faye – waves at Will.

“Hi!” she says.

Will waves back. He points to the closed door in front of them.

“You said your husband’s defending his dissertation in there?” he asks.

The woman nods.

“Yeah, time’s almost up,” she says. “Our daughter’s been through two of these this week, though I guess she behaved a little better during mine.”

“So, you’re a doctor, too!”

“Mmm-hmm. I’m not necessary in any emergency, though, unless you come up against a real Brady Bunch stumper on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”

“Ah, don’t sell yourself short. My wife’s the same kind of doctor. I think she’s sitting on your husband’s committee, actually.”

The woman’s eyes light up. She has that thing – that thing smart girls have. Will almost can’t believe they haven’t met before. She seems so familiar, like they all come from the same place. Will feels that way about a lot of people now.

“You’re here with Dr. Callaghan!” she says. “Oh, man. I had to take one literature class here, and we read her essay about narcissism in The Mill on the Floss … that was good shit. I’m the one who gave Chris the idea to write to her. I thought she’d get it.”

Will nods.

“Lucy gets a lot of things.”

The woman extends her hand for a shake.

“I’m Blair,” she says.

“Will. Not a doctor. Just a lawyer.”

“Just a lawyer. My family would be thrilled if that were me.”

Faye runs in between them and throws her hands in the air. Will grins. There’s something so … Elenore about her.

“Hi!” she says again.

“Sorry,” Blair says. “This is my daughter, Faye. She’s about done waiting.”

“I don’t blame her,” Will says. “Feels like this defense has been going on all day.”

“Tell me about it. Mine felt like a year.”

She looks at Will like she’s trying to place him, too. Maybe they have met before. Lucy mentioned that Chris Egan (whom Will still thinks of as Chip) was from Ann Arbor-Saline and married his high school sweetheart, too (“Just not when he was still in high school,” she joked while she read his novel). How easy would it have been to walk past them at a movie theater or a concert at the Joe? The world is big, sure, but it doesn’t feel much bigger than Michigan.

“Why’d you come along?” Blair asks. “Wanted to get a look at our tall ugly gray building?”

“No,” Will says. “Just … didn’t want to sit alone in a hotel.”

Blair nods. Clearly, she’s smart enough to understand what’s going on, but she’s also smart enough not to say anything. Will hears the door open behind him, and his heart leaps for a glimpse of Lucy. He doesn’t get one. The door closes again, and Faye shouts.

“DADDY!”

Will turns around and sees a dark-haired guy, about his own height, scooping up Faye and carrying her over to Blair.

“They’re deliberating?” Blair asks.

“Yeah,” the guy – Chris, Chip, whoever – says. “I think it went pretty well, though I had to answer a few too many questions about Freud.”

“Fucker.”

Blair gestures toward Will, and Chris looks at him like he didn’t see him standing there.

“This is Dr. Callaghan’s husband,” she says. “He’s not a doctor. Just a lawyer.”

“Just a lawyer,” Chris repeats. “Shit, if I’d wanted to be a lawyer, my dad would probably still be alive.”

He shakes Will’s hand. Surprisingly professional, for a novelist.

“Hope Lucy wasn’t too tough on you,” he says. “I know my wife, and I’m pretty sure all those Freud questions came from her.”

“It’s alright. She was right to ask ‘em. Uh, Blair, honey, can we maybe move a little away from the door? I’m terrified I’m gonna hear them talking about why I suck and should never publish a real novel.”

“Of course.”

But before they walk into another corner, Blair looks at Will with those eerily familiar eyes. He’s not sure if she’s going to say anything, but she does.

“It’s OK,” she says. “Whatever it is. Why you can’t be in the hotel. It’s OK.”

Will nods. He knew she understood. This unexpected prophet with the giggling little daughter and the eerily familiar eyes. Maybe she’s right.

He waits for the door to open again. This time, he’s going to get a good look at Lucy, just to make sure she’s still there.

(part of @nosebleedclub daily challenge -- day 28! yes, i am attempting more crossovers between my fiction blogs 😭)

#drabble #writeblr #ch: will o'connor #ch: blair donnelly #ch: faye egan #ch: chris egan #year: 2003

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vivianbernadetteaurora · 7 months ago

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The HOT K!ller

✨🌟🦋💫🍄💎🪞

This girl and her ways , this woman stabbed her partner 17 times I think, she was that girl she met him at conference many years earlier about two years earlier or three years earlier, the speaker there and she was charmed about how good he was impressed and it made her want to join Mormons which were big in Arizona, she had many relationships before and suffered with borderline personality disorder attractive,, she doesn’t admit to killing I don’t know even if she admitted it she said other people were there she’s changed the story anyway a few times which don’t doesn’t fit at all, when you look at certain way you can get away with murder clips of her being really narcissistic online and wanting her make up ready before she talks to interviewers but that’s all Jodie,,, but after she done the kill she literally died her hair and made herself look completely different. She died her hair and looked like a mousey librarian and she looked in these pictures and she would do such a horrendous act. What was that? His friends were not keen she was extremely jealous, but Travis did mess her about. I will not mess that part of the story out. He messed her about by not being, faithful but then wanting faithfulness from her and then wanting a relationship but no one to marry her and then choosing other woman to make her jealous which drove her crazy. She didn’t know where she stood with him and he was getting older and was needing to get married and he had other relationships of other girls in the church, but it was weird that he was not married in his church by his age, a lot of people did say that, he’s had a couple of lifetime movies made about her as well in which they show her devious ways and side but a lot of people have empathy for it’s called the halo first horns effect. I think where if somebody looks a certain way if they’re attractive in a traditionally attractive kind way then you think of them more as a nice person where is someone let’s say who isn’t traditionally attractive you would see as more devil like this is probably why, people have a fascination with serial killers specially like people like Ted Bundy this girl Jodie because of how they, but don’t be deceived at attractiveness is not worth the deception of what these people do to you, believe me I have borderline personality disorder, get this regulated all the time by other people and they hurt us and then they act like they’ve done nothing wrong so they fuck with their heads or heads cause they know that they, travis is party to blame with that we fucking with our head with other girls because he knew that she really loved him and wanted to be with him and wanted to settle down with him. Some people just tired of that and like I’m not gonna take it anymore, it drove me to my limit, I would say I’m in a similar situation not the killing but the BPD and the autism and people not understanding the deep level of it. They’re also shallow and surface level especially in the drug world and this woman has literally drove me insane I can’t stand her. She doesn’t like me. She’s really rude to me. She doesn’t understand that the reason she says I need to open up more but then she’ll ridicule me and bully me and I hate it but won’t admit it. She’s a really nasty character I think and I really don’t like having anything to do with her anymore because it is drove me to my wits end, and I’m literally literally sat here crying now about all of it because it is driving me mad. It’s now to the point where, I have to get my partner to deal with any sort of situation with that because it will drive me up the wall.

Personality disorders have a low tolerance, distress and anxiety. Depression depression seems more common in the antisocial type and anxiety seems more common in the borderline types hard. they with severe self-esteem issues, is an antisocial person although it can be covering they suffer more with the depression side of it and also can be asexual a lot of the time. It is interesting to look at Jodie looks and then her looks changed when she became on trial., but I will always have sympathy for my fellow. We always get portrayed so bad BPD people..

#jodi arias #killer #bpd #travis alexander #mormon

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deathxproof · 1 year ago

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Get To Know Rory Williams & The Master!

It’s an AU where Rory Williams is actually, gasp, the Master in a fobwatch! Verse and timeline dependent. That’s it. All natural whole ingredients you can pronounce. Sometimes. Established in 2013, Various Verses to choose from. Before jumping in, Here Are My Rules! Please check them out! Now! Come meet Rory Williams. Come meet the Master. Come meet Rory!Master.

Name: Rory Williams

AKA: [REDACTED] Williams, Rory Pond

Age: ~26-33

Gender: Trans Man

Sexuality: Bisexual

Species: Human

Occupation: Nurse. Time Lord babysitter.

Faceclaim: Arthur Darvill

Rory’s Playlist!

Record Scratch

Name: The Master

AKA: Koschei Oakdown, Koschei, and an entirely too-long list of stupid aliases.

Age: ??? ??? 2500 ?? 3000? 3500??? He isn’t really sure anymore after Rory’s Auton Stint

Gender: Masculine-Adjacent (** If it ever comes up, I write Rory & Rory!Master as, what can best be described for an alien Time Lord as afab trans masc. If that bothers you or somehow rubs you incorrectly, I can’t believe I have to point it out, but you’re on the wrong blog.)

Sexuality: A flavor of psychosexual obsessive Space Queer

Species: Time Lord

Occupation: Being A Menace

Faceclaim: Arthur Darvill again!

The Master’s Playlist!: Destroying Planets Out Of Spite

Rory!Master !

Disaster TARDIS: The Master Edition (The Master’s Music Taste?)

Bonus!(older playlists): I Got Stuck In A Fobwatch & All I Got For It Was This Lousy Found Family && Help! My Husband Is A Time Lord With A Really Weird Thing For My Best Friend!! :(( && I Am So Old And So Tired Of My Ex’s Shenanigans

Background—

Rory Williams—

Current Residence: Leadworth, otherwise the TARDIS Parents(Living): Brian Williams Parents(Deceased): Mallory Williams

Significant Others: Amy Pond

Children: Melody Pond/River Song

Other Significant Friends: The Doctor (friend, pain, technical son-in-law)

Rory Williams’ timeline falls(or ends?) sometime between early Season 7 to post-Angels Take Manhattan when the fobwatch opens- just sort of depends on the timing. As usual I’m pretty fine with adapting if it comes into play— but even then, that mostly just falls for Elevens, Amys, Rivers, and those applicable to those seasons I guess yknow ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

Verses—

Super flexible with verses and situations to throw Rory & The Master in! His(and thereby the Master’s) five main-ish verses are—

Default- exactly what you imagine. Fobwatched!Rory comes up the same way in the show— he dates and marries Amy, they travel with the Doctor.

Rory A Little To The Left- a catch-all verse for… A lot of other stuff. Do you want your character to generally be in Amy’s place? Does Rory have a friend who he confides in about his time traveling and the weird watch dreams he has because of it? Rory as the Master’s companion, somehow? Anything else A Little or A Lot To The Left?

The Boy Who Waited- Pretty much what it says on the tin. Rory’s exactly in Amy’s place. A fun barely-used exploration in throwing the Doctor into Rory Williams’ backyard instead of Amy and the results of that.

The Girl Who Didn’t Have To Wait- Oops! Oopsie! Rory opens the watch incredibly early! Amy Pond(or your character) gets offered to be the Master’s companion.

Rory’s Back- Oops! Something else went wrong! The Master’s the Master again, but Rory Williams… Comes through sometimes? They share a body? Rory is essentially condemned to a personal hell?

Want to work out something else? Have something else in mind? Let me know dude!

The Master—

Current Timeline: Post-Missy, Pre-Dhawan, Post-Season-6A

Current Residence: TARDIS

TARDIS Appearance: Busted up Vending Machine, otherwise a pretty gritty and grimy Payphone Booth.

Parents:

Significant Others:

Children: Susan Foreman (Granddaughter?)(Weird daughter?)(Step-something?) River Song???

Other Significant People: The Doctor (arch enemy, messy ex, millennia-long-object-of-obsession)

The Master… Well. Missy— the Master- never intended to be anything more than a simple human for a handful of decades. It almost felt like vacation, but instead it came across more as insurance that they wouldn’t… Run into… Any versions of themselves. Or more importantly: the Doctor.

Alright, failed step one.Just went a bit backwards.

It all happened rather fast in hindsight. A last-minute decision to go under the chameleon arch, just before Missy was regenerating. The change was supposed to happen post-regeneration, in a new body, a new Master. It happened, instead, mid-regeneration. It produced a child. No name, no backstory, no plan.

The night Amelia Pond settles into a house with a crack in the bedroom wall in Leadworth, a TARDIS crashes in Brian and Mallory Williams’ backyard a few streets over. A little girl comes wandering into their kitchen from the backyard. And suddenly both of them remember that they were supposed to be renovating their daughter’s bedroom (that strangely looks like a home office at the time), and put Mallory(it means unlucky, ha.) Rory Williams to sleep on the couch.

The Master, meanwhile, sits inside of an old and tarnished up wrist watch. What was supposed to be a 90-odd-year excursion maximum accidentally turned into a 1000+ year technicality due to the Doctor, of all people.

Default is that he releases from the watch sometime before Angels Take Manhattan. The longer they stay in the TARDIS, the worse Rory gets, the more things start to stick out in the end…

Darvill!Master weasels his way out eventually, usually after Rory’s attention is turned to the wrist watch that’s conveniently come with him throughout weddings and moves and the Pandorica and all of his deaths and the TARDIS and—

When he comes out(ha.) there’s a lot of mixed feelings. Nothing has been processed fully from Missy, he’s suffering from a strange millennia-old regeneration hangover that hung on in the watch, the Master was human for entirely too long. Rory was around for entirely too long and managed to get his life wrapped up in one of the two people in the universe he was hiding out from.

What could possibly go wrong with that?

#character; rory williams #about; rory williams #character; the master #character; the master(rory!master)#about; the master(rory!master)#verse; rory a little to the left #verse; the girl who didn’t have to wait #verse; the boy who waited #verse; rory’s back #muse page

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suckitsurveys · 3 months ago

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Do you think the sound of rain is soothing? Yes, I do.

Have you ever eavesdropped on someone’s conversation? I’m sure I have.

Do you still play the slugbug no slugbug back game? Not actively. Sometimes I still think about it when I see VW Bugs though.

Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Yes.

Have you ever had a staring contest with a pet? xP It’s fun! Not really.

When you were little did you measure yourself a lot to see how much you grew? No.

Do you always win or lose at the silence game? I haven’t really played that.

Have you ever tried to read in the dark? I’m sure I have.

Have you ever felt guilty when someone close to you died? Yeah. Not about them dying but about how I acted towards them right before they died.

Don’t you hate it when you start to feel hungry just after you brushed your teeth? I mean, if it’s before bed, I’ll ignore it, but if it’s in the morning I’ll just eat? It’s not something that would stop me?

Have you ever ate a bug? It’s entirely possible.

Have you ever got a piece of glass stuck in your foot? Yes.

Do you think apple jacks is a good cereal? I love Apple Jacks.

Do you make excuses a lot or know someone that does? Yes and yes.

Do you think pit bulls are as mean as everyone says they are? No.

Have you ever done something that gave someone the wrong impression? Sure.

Has someone ever given you something then took it back? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction? Probably.

At this age you are now, have you colored in a coloring book & had fun? Yes.

Have you ever had a bubble bath? Of course.

When eating, are you more concerned with the taste or healthiness? Taste.

Have you ever shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? Sure.

Do your fingers ever get tired from typing? Not my fingers, but my wrists can get sore.

Have you ever tried picking up an item with your foot? Yes, and been successful.

What’s your opinion on sporks? I don’t really have an opinion on them.

If you had nowhere else to go, which friend of yours would let you stay over? Assuming I’m in Chicago and not a different city where my friends live, then Lolly would.

Do you know anyone who has been a victim of a drunk driver? Yes.

Don’t you hate it when people try to act like they know it all? Oh yes.

Are you nosy? I can be.

Is there someone that makes your life hell? Yes.

Have you ever been ditched by your friends? Yup.

If someone could see into your heart, what do you think they would see? Veins and blood and stuff.

Has someone ever snuck up on you & scared the shit out of you? Yes.

How long does it take you to brush your teeth? A minute or two.

Have you ever went to bed angry at someone? Yeah, I have.

Do you interrupt people while they’re speaking? I try not to but my ADHD ass brain sometimes can’t control itself and it’s hard for me to “wait my turn” if I have something to say out of fear of forgetting it seconds later.

Are you a rulebreaker? Not for the most part, no.

What would you do if you became an overnight celebrity? No thanks.

Do you know someone who can’t keep a secret? Yes.

Have you ever walked into a room & all eyes were on you? Sounds like a nightmare.

What would you do if someone forbade you to see the one you love? I’m 35 years old who would do that?

Do you believe everyone has a twin out there somewhere? No.

Have you ever felt replaced? I have.

Do you show your true colors? Sure.

What would you do if your best friend was marrying someone you can’t stand? I would imagine they’d have to be a really shitty person for me to not stand them so I’d probably try to make them see what I see.

What would you do if your car got impounded? Pay to get it out.

Do you lose your patience easily? I can if the factors all line up.

Do you think putting paper in a shredder is fun? Yes lol.

Are there any weird or creepy legends about the area you live in? Oh, TONS.

What would you do if a skunk sprayed you? Cry. And then google how to get rid of it.

Would you drink a gallon of sour milk for $250? No thanks.

Has someone ever thrown something at you & it landed down your shirt? Yes.

What makes you feel sensational? I don’t know how to answer this.

What toys did you play with in the bathtub as a kid? Barbies galore.

Do you like jumping off diving boards? It’s fine.

Do you follow ingredients when you cook or do you do what you think is right? Depends on the recipe.

Do you space out a lot? On a daily basis.

Do energy drinks make you feel jittery? I don’t drink them.

Do you have anything you want to confess to? Nah.

Have you ever been to summer camp? Not really. I did do this program when I was a preteen and into my teens called Leaders School where we’d take classes and do fun shit and stay in a college dorm for a week in the summer.

Do you wear name brands? Sure. I don’t seek any out really but I’m not opposed to it.

Are you good at bingo? That’s not really a game of skill?

#surveys

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bisluthq · 1 year ago

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I mean I think haylor was that deep at the time lol. If you listen to anything they wrote about each other it was as deep as a late teens/early 20s situationship can be. The feelings were clearly intense - it’s not like they didn’t gaf about each other. Obviously they have since grown up and had much more intense relationships (and taylor had already had a past relationship that was more dramatic and passionate) but it was formative to a degree. jumping off of very tall somethings etc etc

“it was as deep as a late teens/early 20s situationship can be” - exactly lol my sister, when I was 20ish I wrote a poem about how men never leave their wives that was published and won some extremely obscure award lol. I don’t know where it is now but it was all about how no matter what u do, no matter how kind he is to u, he won’t leave his wife. Do you know who I was inspired by? You’ll never guess. Fucking choking guy. Now, mind you, I wrote the poem after I’d had sex with him and sorta declared myself a lesbian there (on/off lol because there were a couple more guys after before y’all helped me kinda come into bisexuality so side note thanks everyone for that). But the fact that HE wouldn’t like leave his girlfriend for ME was terribly upsetting to me. I didn’t WANT his weird ass freaky ass anymore after the sex was weird like genuinely I didn’t but I still wanted him to want me??!

I can’t imagine writing a poem that unhinged today and I also can’t imagine fucking someone with a partner because ehhh red flags - not even ethically just like!!!!! mess mess mess!! I’d get into something fuck messy then and I don’t have the bandwidth lol to deal with such nonsense now and tbf it’d be likely messier now because there’d be kids and shit and like wives or they’d be like children themselves (not literally but like me when I wrote the poem or like Taylor when she wrote Speak Now) and just ew idk that I want that sort of energy in my life lol I’d rather have thought I knew what it was like when I fucked the weird lay guy who technically had a gf but fucked like all of us slutty bi debater girls lol. I don’t want a real adult person to leave their wife for me lol.

like new storytime: a friend of mine (who I actually stopped being friends with over this because I can’t deal with people being moronic; I can deal with the friend and her drug dealers because like it’s dumb but she’s not aiming to waltz down the aisle and they’re all semi cute and they provide free edibles and I do believe they provide dope sex and yes I’m less close to her while I have partners and we never do couple hangouts because her bfs are embarrassing anyway let me focus). So this other friend of mine got involved with someone at her firm. Who’s married. Who has a kid. Who promised to leave her. Who says he’s unhappy. Who says she’d be a better mum than the wife. And like I listened to this for a few months and then I was like “dude wtf” and we had a big fight and I said she must call me when she gets out of this situation because she will because he will never leave the wife and she even sorta agreed but genuinely in a less dramatic way than 20 year old me felt about choking guy.

My point is like yes at 20 you’re ready to jump off buildings but also not really lol. That’s the other thing I love about Taylor right is she - despite saying she’s stuck at 16 and being there in some ways but I think many millennials are because we’re all still chronically online and trying to learn new slang ijbol - has grown up.

so like Haylor was certainly deep for the moment (stupid of her because he was 18/19 but that’s a separate story for a separate post and their age difference absolutely should’ve made her raise an eyebrow about how it’s all gonna go) but isn’t like… real lol. As a thing that mattered for each of them I don’t think it really did lol I think they were just being fuck dramatic.

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k3rm1e · 4 years ago

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cuddling headcanons! ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

this is more of a test thing to see if i like writing this way and if this blog does well

other imagines and headcanons won't include everyone i write unless it is specifically requested and is a prompt i really like

includes: wilbur nihachu karljacobs quackity dream georgenotfound sapnap p!tommyinnnit p!badboyhalo p!skeppy p!eret p!philza p!tubbo p!ranboo

cw: cursing

wilbur:

wilbur is a very cuddle-y guy

to me he seems very soft

i always see people saying he would like spooning, but i disagree

i feel like he would do more of a half-spooning thing with his head on your chest or the other way around

mans would DEFINITELY make you run your fingers through his hair

i feel like he would lay on your chest and just *nuzzle* into the space between your shoulder and neck

anytime you tried to leave him, whether it was because he had to do something or you had to, he would whine. so. fucking. much.

It would probably always go something like:

you - i need to piss

wilbur - no <3

but the moment he decides its time to stop cuddling its fine

and if you complain that you’re gonna miss him he’ll just call you clingy and tease you

like??? sir???

all in good fun though, no bad intentions :)

nihachu:

i feel like you and niki would face each other

with your head like under her chin and in her chest (this is a bad description but look at the “honeymoon hug” on the list for better explanation ;-;)

she would always want to protect you

so she does that by like almost guarding you and keeping you close

niki would definitely do the arm thing where she just lightly moves her hand up and down you arm

i’m so sorry if you don't understand that, it just feels like something she would do

if you haven't experienced that it kinda sorta feels like spiders??? but in a good way???

but generally she is very protective

she just holds you so close the whole time

even if she doesn’t want to let you go, she’s more understanding about it

she would be upset but wouldn’t show it because she doesn’t want to make you feel guilty

niki is generally just an amazing cuddle-r (is that a word?) and has a super comforting presence

karljacobs:

karl would definitely keep your head on his chest

the whole time he would just absolutely squeeze the life out of you

he would constantly bend his neck down to kiss your head

and instead of just like leaving his head down so he could kiss you it would just be:

*inner monologue karl* hmmm i wanna kiss them on their head

and he would lean down to do so which, cute

but then five seconds later he would do it again

and again another five seconds later

and again

very cute karl but please sir, your neck is gonna be so messed up after this

when you had to leave he would be upset, but like niki, would try not to show it

except karl is very bad at that and his pouting would be so obvious

so you would feel guilty and layback down with him

immediately he just becomes (●´ω｀●)

like a happy little puppy

karl is just too adorable for you to deny

quackity:

now we all know this, quackity is a huge dork

which is why i believe he would DEFINITELY use your butt as a pillow

not even in a weird way

i just feel like quackity isn’t too comfortable with touch so this is sorta his way of being close to you without it being a whole serious thing

like he still is able to be goofy and comfortable without it being a whole big thing

him doing this would almost always come with a flatty patty joke from you

which always causes him to threaten divorce, even though you aren’t married

while it isn’t a very good position for things like physical touch, it is good for talking and having conversations

for some reason i feel like he’s the type of person to text someone when they’re right next to each other

so while he’s laying down he’ll just send you random photos of himself

very annoying when your phone is spammed, but also good blackmail material >:)

i don’t think he’d be too clingy

obviously, he enjoys spending time with you

but if you told him you need to go do work or something he wouldn’t throw a fit or pout

big q just seems like he’d be more rational about stuff like that

overall a 420/69 cuddle partner

dream:

one word: spooning

mans just envelops you and has no shame

very big: “no you are mine! >:(“ energy

while he’s sleeping he’ll unconsciously nuzzle his head into your hair/the back of your neck

when you guys got to bed patches usually climbs in and you hold her

i love patches so much i could write headcanons just about her

dream always wants to be cuddling you

if you try to leave he won’t pout, there simply isn't a discussion on whether you’re moving or not

incase you haven’t caught on yet, the answer is no

you need to do work? just bring the laptop to bed

he needs to edit? just sit in his lap at his desk, duh

obviously, he knows at some point you guys need to stop cuddling

he just isn’t too stoked about it

when it comes time where he absolutely can’t cuddle with you, i feel like he’d be more chill

mainly just annoyed

georgenotfound:

i feel like george, like quackity, also wouldn’t be too touchy

i’m pretty sure he has a hard time expressing emotions (please correct me if i’m wrong!!) and i think that would crossover to his sleeping habits

i think he would prefer a sort of back-to-back cuddling position

it seems cold, i know

but also he would most definitely kick at you

so every night while trying to go to sleep suddenly you would just feel *kick*

and then instead of sleep you’re suddenly playing footsie

lots of laughter and warm feelings involved

george would probably pretend that you kicked his leg hard or something and act like you hurt him

the first few times you were actually worried

but then after a few months your only response was a sarcastic “cry about it”

which just led to more laughter

sapnap:

sapnap and you would do a sort of leg hug thing

you both you try to go to sleep in a cute spooning-type position

but the moment one of you fell asleep it all unraveled

you would wake up apart but you’re legs would still be touching

sapnap would joking blame it on you

“wow can’t believe you don't wanna be close with me even when we’re asleep”

“it’s not my fault! i can’t control where i end up when i sleep!”

“no, no. you don’t have to lie. i see how it is.”

“>:(“

but it's okay!

your legs are the first thing to react in a flight-or-fight situation, so they usually react in an honest way

which is like your legs are both reaching to hold each other!

p!tommyinnit:

i don’t get a very touchy vibe from tommy

i feel like the most he would do is put his arm over your shoulder

not in a flirty way, just in a “hey, there isn’t a lot of space, this will make sitting down more comfortable” way

he will let you sorta fidget with his hand/arm

i don't know if that makes sense but what i mean is that he’ll pretty much let his arm go *flop* so you can control it (by like moving it around or playing with his fingers)

in the beginning he would get annoyed

but eventually he would get used to it and wouldn’t really care

it sounds a bit strange but i personally find it very comforting to just have something to fidget with while watching youtube or netflix in bed with my friends

and it’s entertaining (sometimes i do this to me sister to annoy her :>)

he would act like he didn’t mind if you left him

but holy shit he is so clingy

If you try to leave it’ll just be “no, why??? stay here dumbass”

you would be slightly annoyed when he had to leave but knew he had to film and stream and all that so you would be okay

p!badboyhalo:

you would kinda sit within bad’s lap

like not on his lap, but more of in between his legs

he would have his arms around you

and his phone would be in front of you so you two could scroll through twt or instagram together

or you guys could watch skeppy’s youtube ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

rat would sit in your lap

she’s just;;;;;;;; so adorable

rat is just so soft and fuzzy in your lap and everytime you move to pet her she just melts

rat is the the superior cuddle buddy to any of these block people

p!skeppy:

skeppy, similar to quackity, is a total dork

he would make sure you guys were in a position where he could effectively troll you

so if your head was near his lap he would just flick you or some

“dude can you please stop hitting me in the head”

“it turns out i am not actually hitting you in your head because based on the perpendicularity of the bisector multiplied by the photosynthesis of the dividend, it is impossible for me to do so”

“wtf”

lya is so goddamn sick of you guys

she's trying to get him to actually do something but instead he’s just sitting there throwing paper airplanes at you while you sleep

he’s an annoying asshole but it's okay because he gives you money for absurd reasons

p!eret:

eret has such a comfortable presence

i feel like she wouldn’t be up for cuddling too much

more of like putting your head on a friends shoulder so you can see the tweet their showing you

but they do like to hold hands

holding hands isn’t very intimate but it's also just such a sweet comforting thing

she even holds your hand when you guys are out walking around

like if you guys were getting food somewhere (post-covid of course)

you most likely would get addressed as a couple

and he would just be like”...wut?”

it’s happened so many times at this point you just go along with it

“you guys look like such a cute couple!”

“oh we aren't-” “thank you!”

can you tell that i love eret?

p!philza:

phil always has such dad vibes

i feel like the closest he would get to cuddling is hugs and hand holding

even though cuddling isn’t inherently romantic, he is married to kristen

so i fell he would get most of his touch in with her

but with you he’s just so fatherly

hello dadza

whether you have a good or bad relationship with your father, everyone can admit that philza minecraft is dadza

this is such a dad thing, but tries to hold you hand when you cross the street

no matter the age, he just feels the need to protect you

hugs are similar

uses hugs as a way to comfort you and protect you

just so amazing all around

p!tubbo:

tubbo would love cuddling in any way, shape, or form

if you guys are hanging out at like the park or something and lying down

get ready to become this mans pillow

this is really fun to do with your friends but imagine you guys are hanging out in a field type area (with my friends we hand out in the field next to the cemetery but it can be any open grass area)

tubbo would just use your lap as a pillow the whole time

and when you guys were walking back to his house he would sorta drape his arms over your shoulders (assuming he’s taller than you)

he would do the same thing when you guys were sitting in chairs or at a desk

just drapes his arms over your shoulder with his chin on your head

if it's really late and he's tired he’ll just hug you

p!ranboo:

if you thought tubbo is bad, ranboo is even worse

not even really cuddling, he just likes having a sort of skin-to-skin contact

so handholding and laying on top of eachother

if he’s streaming he will legitimately message ou to just sit next to him

so sometimes if he’s just chilling by himself on the smp you’ll end up on his streams

he’ll have you next to him just because he likes be near someone

and so randomly it’ll just be like “chat, a real human is here, behave”

chat does not behave

(they heavily bully him)

he’s pretty clingy but when you HAVE to leave he’ll understand and just be a bit bummed out

holy shit this took me so long-

if you read this whole thing thank you!

#mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #karl jacobs x reader #nihachu x reader #quackity x reader #dream x reader #georgenotfound x reader #sapnap x reader #tommyinnit x reader #badboyhalo x reader #skeppy x reader #eret x reader #philza x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #kermie's headcanons #kermie spent so long on this and is dying

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theveryworstthing · 4 years ago

Photo

So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.

The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class. I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.

I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.

Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.

10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.

The Parents

From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.

Or while it was still bleeding.

If she was into that.

Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.

Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.

And he always gets his due.

He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.

Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~

Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.

Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.

This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.

Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?

Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.

Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.

What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.

Mortesha would know.

The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.

Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.

The Children

Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.

Anyway.

Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!

Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.

Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.

I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace. I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.

Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.

She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.

Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.

Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.

That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.

Annnnyway. This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.

#long post #the addams family #Character Design #au #design challenge #i am incapable of doing a design challenge like a normal person #oh god i forgot the cut lol

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zivazivc · 4 years ago

Text

Pinocchio AU

Okay people want the explanation for this comic so here it goes. It’s long and complicated and MESSED UP because of course it is, this is me. I’m going to write in points because my small tired brain can’t handle good english atm but basically to sum up the Adrien was a sentimonster theory or Pinocchio AU as I like to call it:

Young married Emilie and Gabriel can’t have kids. Gabriel reluctantly accepts this fate and even brings up adoption as a possibility once, but Emilie doesn’t want to hear any of that. She’s a bit of a Marinette in the sense that she pictures this romanticized ideal life for herself and a child—her flesh and blood—HAS to be in it.

They keep trying to get a baby while other young families Emilie knows keep growing. She feels left out and hurt and depressed, then her newlywed twin sister announces she’s expecting a baby too and something within Emilie just unhinges.

She eventually lies to some of her friends, who she was out for coffee with, that she’s pregnant too. She mostly does it just to see their reaction and feel what it would be like but it quickly spirals out of control where she just starts pretending she’s pregnant until you can’t even tell if she believes it herself.

Gabriel is confused at first because he hears the news second hand (a friend/family member congratulating him) so he’s apprehensive when he approaches his wife but she convinces him that they really are getting a baby and Gabriel is ecstatic.

It’s only later at a doctor’s check up that Gabriel learns that she indeed is not pregnant. The doctor even speaks to him alone explaining that his wife is in denial and that he should make sure she goes to see a psychiatrist, something she definitely wouldn’t do alone.

Gabriel is unsuccessful with that because he’s not entirely persistent, doesn’t want to be the guy with the crazy wife having to tell everyone she lied about being pregnant, and hopelessly believes she’ll just get over it eventually.

That is until her “pregnancy is near due”—her sister already had Félix in England a few months ago—and he stumbles on her transformed with her peacock miraculous (they already have both of them) creating a sentimonster newborn.

They have a huge fight about it but because Emilie refuses to destroy it, won’t tell Gabriel where the amok is, and Gabriel can’t just hurt the baby with his hands, Emilie just… wins. Fucked up, yeah?

Now she tried creating kids before this one, using her imagination to try and blend her and Gabriel’s looks but it just wasn’t working. So she decided to copy of photos of baby Félix because he already looked almost like a copy of his mother, and Amélie and Emilie already looked alike so it’s not so weird?—is what her mind was telling her.

She didn’t dare alter his looks but she decided to give the baby Gabriel’s eye color to include the “father” in some way. (Yes in that comic I made I gave Adrien a mix of green and gray but that was mainly to get the point across to the perceptive readers)

Now we got Adrien, a normal baby boy to the whole world except for Gabriel who’s forced into his wife’s fantasy through social expectations.

Why are we only at this point and this post is already so long AAAAAAAA!!!

Adrien physically basically grows in a way where Emilie just keeps changing his appearance to match what Félix looked like a few months prior.

Mentally he’s like a robot just taking in information without really needing to learn it. So Emilie decides when he says his first word, she decides when he learns to walk,… He knows how to walk, he just wasn’t given the command to do so yet.

But even so he does develop a personality over time, just slower, because unlike a normal child who’s always testing his boundaries, how far they’re allowed to go until they’re in real trouble, Adrien just can’t misbehave. At all.

But he does have his favorite foods and favorite toys, and jokes that make him laugh the most. The problem is just that Emilie could just decide that his favorite food is strawberries and he’d just start acting accordingly, rewiring his belief.

He also isn’t allowed to argue or be mean to others which is why Félix thinks he’s a goody two-shoes weirdo while Chloé the brat adores him.

This behavior isn’t so hard to hide with a toddler who’s fickle but it’s harder and harder as the kid grows. Which is why the family becomes very secluded over time.

Gabriel always keeps distance with his “son”. He’s not Dad, he’s Father, he doesn’t do hugs and cuddles, he doesn’t say I love you. But Adrien knows he loves him because his mom told him so and he loves him back unconditionally because Mom said that’s what families do.

Now even though Gabriel is traumatized by this whole ordeal and knowing Adrien “isn’t real” freaks him out he does soften a bit over time. I’m going to give an awful example but like someone who hates cats softening for a cat that their partner/roommate decided to get/had from before. Continuing with this example: But still becoming appalled when the cat starts acting odd/unusually.

Okay I think you get the gist. Let’s move on…

Emilie loves her son more and more as he grows and his sentimonster behaviours start bothering her more and more too. She hates being reminded that he’s not a real boy by people mentioning he looks young for his age because Emilie forgot to make him grow for a while. She hates when he does everything like he’s told. She hates that he has no real friends because they’re afraid to expose him to the outside too much and without supervision. She hates to think about his future.

Her desire for him to be real keeps growing and is what drives her to search for a solution in the miraculous spellbook.

She cracks the script after years, when Adrien is nearly a teen, and finds a way to transfer the creators soul into a sentimonster.

It’s a long process that takes time and while she falls ill to everyone around her, Adrien becomes more real.

Gabriel starts realizing what’s happening when he notices Adrien hesitate for a second when he’s playing a video game and Gabriel wants him to do something, groan when he gets bothered watching TV, huff, complain, have slightly opposing opinions to his and Emilie’s, when he argues with his mother when she tells him she’s feeling fine; when he notices his son’s eyes are greener. Or is it all in his head?

He confronts his wife too late, when she’s extremely ill already, her normally vibrant eyes dulled match Adrien’s bluish gray, and he pieces together in his head what she’s doing.

Before Gabriel could properly think what to do to stop the love of his life from turning into a lifeless doll, in a fit of panic he tries to take her wedding band (where he knows Adrien’s amok is) to get rid of Adrien instead, but is unsuccessful in getting it off her so he snatches her peacock brooch instead (which she needs to complete the spell obvs) and breaks it. (Heyoo! broken peacock miraculous. things are coming together)

Because the spell was almost complete anyway it’s Emilie who falls unconscious. But she doesn’t disappear because she’s not a real sentimonster, she just becomes dormant like one.

This is the point in the story where Gabriel makes it seem like Emilie ran away or something like that—basically disappear. Now he’s living knowing he has an almost sentimonster wife in the basement, knowing he almost killed his son (or her), and having to care for a son that suddenly became much more alive, questioning, arguing, angry, screaming, not accepting, crying, grieving, staring at him with Emilie’s eyes.

Instead of becoming a real parent, Gabriel shuts him out.

Soon Adrien evolves desires for socializing, company, getting away from the suffocating home which eventually leads to him going to a public school.

He slowly starts to live life freely without the restrictions that were put around his thoughts.

Gabriel has an even stranger relationship with Adrien now because he still loves him in a way but also holds resentment toward him. But mostly he sees him as something valuable.

The show happens here… And now finally we get to the comic…

Gabriel gets a hold of the ladybug and black cat miraculouses. (There’s no epic fight in his lair as you see there’s no Ladybug in the comic but that’s not really important)

What’s important is that Gabriel had deciphered the miraculous spellbook with the help of Emilie’s notes and had decided to use the unification’s “wish” power to awaken Emilie.

He’s aware he’ll need to sacrifice something for the wish to come true and he’s certain Adrien should be enough because the soul inside him is literally the one thing Emilie is missing.

✨Adrien (poor boy just lost his miraculous) is taken to Gabriel’s lair, where he finds out his father is Hawk Moth, sees his mother, learns he’s a sentimonster, and that he’s going to become a sacrifice ✨

Of course the last part is not what happens. It’s Gabriel who ends up being sacrificed.

I can’t decide if Gabriel ends up sacrificing himself because he changed his mind in the last moment while Adrien was screaming for him to stop, OR because he didn’t love Adrien enough for him to be considered an equal exchange for his wife… O.O

But anyhow…

Emilie wakes up with Gabriel’s soul within her (hence the bluish gray eyes in the comic).

Adrien is traumatized for life.

This took me hours to write… I knew there was a reason why I didn’t want to do it. I hope I didn’t forget anything and my brain made sense of it all

Well there you have it, peeps. The Pinocchio AU. It’s as messed up as my sleep schedule. Good night.

#and they all lived happily ever after. the end #ml #miraculous ladybug #sentimonster adrien theory #sentimonster!adrien #adrien agreste #emilie agreste #gabriel agreste #pinocchio au #answered #my art

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mishafletcher · 4 years ago

Note

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping.

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but—

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something.

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers.

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too.

#queer stuff #lgbtq #gold star lesbians #long post #sorry #Anonymous

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aquamarinescarlet · 4 years ago

Text

Don’t give up just yet

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Warnings: two curse word (I think), brief mentions of sex and cheating, angst (bare in mind these warnings don’t apply the way you think they do, you’ll have to read to understand)

Summary: The classic soulmate AU, sentences written on each other’s wrists, but with a twist.

Author’s note: This was basically an excuse for me to reinvent the soulmate AU with the wrist tattoos thing. It’s sorta angsty, but I just thought the ending was too funny. Just experimenting here, tell me what you think.

PSA: Dividers are the count down till the day: black is reader focused, red is wanda focused, gold/yellow is also reader focused, but I thought it deserved a little spark.

“You should call her, y’know.”

“Why would I do that? She made her point very clear.”

“It’s her wedding day, Y/N,” Mia reasoned, “and this fight was months ago, you have to get over it.”

You rolled your eyes at her insistence. This discussion has been happening every day for the past two weeks.

“I didn’t do anything wrong, why am I the one who should get over it?” You emphasized.

“He is her soulmate, and she is your sister, the least you could do is pretend.”

“Ugh,” you let out a guttural scream, “I can’t do this anymore Mia, I stand by what I said. That man is an asshole and this soulmate thing is stupid. I don’t trust him, no matter what the words on both their wrists say, and I’m not gonna watch her go down with this and not do anything about it.”

Mia didn’t respond, she knew she’d reached your last nerve. You watched as the woman left your office, sending a last sympathetic glance your way before walking into the hall.

Mia was right in some points, and you knew that. She was right about it being your sister’s wedding day and that you should be there to support her. She was wrong about you needing to be the one to apologize though. The way people manipulated their lives to fit this whole twisted Soulmate Theory made your blood boil.

The Soulmate Theory was quite simple: everyone was born with a sentence written on their wrists, popular belief is that those are the first words your soulmate will say to you. It was cute, and it worked most of the time, not for your sister though. Or at least you thought so.

Oli's soulmate was Isaac. They had met three years ago and eventually started dating. Oli was a firm believer of the Soulmate Theory and had never dated anyone before, so it was all new and exciting.

You started noticing the patterns roughly one year after they started dating. He was controlling her, discreetly, barely noticeable, but it was there.

First with clothes, Oli had made it a habit to always ask for his opinions on her clothing, and he would tell her he hated something, regardless of her telling him over and over again she had liked it. You made little comments here and there about his actions, mostly jokes but with some truth behind, she didn’t notice.

Second was friends, Isaac would always want to meet Oli’s friends, and if she went out with one he didn’t know he would make her feel guilty. You started giving more serious warnings, pointing out what he was doing more clearly, she didn’t care and called you crazy.

Third was her feelings, he had his mind set on what her role should be in his life. He praised Oli endlessly when she cooked or cleaned. Other than that, he didn’t care, didn’t pay attention to her stories, didn’t appreciate her paintings and drawings…

It got to the point where she wouldn’t want to paint anymore, when she was telling a story it would be without her usual excitement. Her smile no longer reached her eyes, she was constantly tired.

You confronted her about it, several times, but it was of no use. You’d point out the facts and she’d retort with ‘he is my soulmate, the universe bound us together, he wouldn’t do this to me!’

Three months ago was the last time you two talked. She told you he asked her hand. She knew you would be against it, she tried to ease you into the idea of her being with Isaac for the rest of her life. You weren’t having any of it.

After hours of screaming, arguing and loads of tears, she told you not to come to the wedding, and you said you wouldn’t.

It’s now four days from the date and you’re not going as long as he’s the one she’s marrying.

You stared at the words on your own wrist. ‘It’s you’. That sentence haunted you for years. What a stupid set of words for your soulmate to say.

As a kid you adored the Soulmate Theory, you paid meticulous attention to the first words you’d exchange with anyone, you made new friends nearly every day in hopes of hearing those words, but they never came.

Until they came. At first it was exhilarating, but the ones you said didn’t match the ones on the person’s wrist. You were extremely disappointed. And then you heard them again, and again, and again… It became almost routine. Every single person you met would say ‘it’s you’ or some variation of it.

You being who you are certainly didn’t help. During college you had started a tech company and now it had grown to be one of the biggest and most important in the field. The new inventions did win you several prizes and a lot of money. You were also stupid famous, being the young brilliant CEO and all.

Ever since, you gave up on looking for your soulmate. It seemed counter productive to get yourself all worked up just for it not to happen every single day. You made your peace with it, although a small part of you just wanted to meet said person.

The situation with Isaac and Oli helped. Seeing that it could end up hurting you made it easier to not fixate on finding your soulmate. Nonetheless, the desire was there; hidden, pushed to the back of your mind, but still there.

You just wished your sister could see it too, that the Soulmate Theory is not the solution to all her problems.

“Relax Steve, it’s all taken care of.”

“What about the flowers? Did you book the buffet? Did you check with the band? And the decorations? I saw some people didn’t RSVP yet, should I redo the seating charts?” Steve rambled on as Wanda just laughed.

“The flower problem is solved, the buffet confirmed, so did the band, the wedding planner is working on the decorations and redoing the whole seating chart seems… unnecessary, they still have three days to confirm their presence.” She reassured the man who was more stressed than her about the whole situation.

“Okay, sorry, I just want to make sure everything is perfect.” He huffed, taking a seat on the couch.

“It’s going to be perfect, don’t worry.” She couldn’t help the weirdness that surged upon uttering those words.

“How are you so calm?” Wanda just shrugged, not really sure how to answer.

Steve took a deep breath and gazed at the red head, offering her a smile.

“I’m going to sleep, all this wedding stuff has been stressing me all day.”

“Okay,” Steve made his way to his bedroom but she called him before he reached the hallway, “thanks for the help Rogers.”

“No worries.” He shot a last smile before disappearing.

Wanda found herself alone in the living room, the silence only making her thoughts scream louder.

She would be married in three days. It seemed unbelievable. After losing her parents, being experimented on at Hydra, fighting along Ultron, losing her brother and becoming an Avenger, she never thought she would have time to fall in love.

Yet, here she is. Although the feeling wasn’t quite what she thought it would be. It wasn’t exciting, or nerve racking. She felt no different than any other day of her life. Steve seemed like the one who was getting married, not her.

Vision is sweet and caring, she feels so happy around him. Then what is causing all these doubts to haunt her?

She knows what it is, she just doesn’t want to admit it.

Those words. Those stupid words painted forever on her wrist. ‘Don’t do this’. Ever since joining the Avengers she started using several bracelets to hide them, but they still burned on her skin every single day.

She’d heard of the Soulmate Theory at a very young age. Her parents had explained how those were the first words she’d hear from the love of her life. She would spend hours daydreaming all sorts of scenarios in which someone would say those words to her and they’d fall in love.

After her parent’s death, that stopped being her priority. At the Hydra base she’d only see her brother and a couple dozen different Hydra soldiers, too old and mean for a soulmate.

Gaining powers was a game changer. She was older then. Stronger. They finally allowed her and Pietro to leave the base and create chaos in Hydra’s name. “Do good” in Hydra’s name. She believed she was doing the right thing. She truly did.

Hearing her first ‘Don’t do this’ made her question everything. It came from a little kid nonetheless. A scared little kid. It must’ve been a mistake, she thought at the time. But that mistake happened, again, and again, and again…

When she joined the Avengers her eyes were opened to all the pain and terror she had caused. All the people she hurt. Then it dawned on her, what if one of those ‘Don’t do this’ came from her soulmate? What if she had hurt them, or worse, killed them?

The idea terrified her. So she hid those words on her wrist. A reminder of the evil she’s done and the love she’ll never have. She promised herself to never look for her soulmate, she already caused them enough pain, they didn’t deserve to get tangled in the mess that was her life.

And then Vision was created. Him and Wanda got along greatly. He made her happy. They fell in love, or at least that’s what Wanda told herself, that she fell in love with him. It was possible, there’s no rule on the Soulmate Theory that says you can only fall in love with your soulmate. Plus, Vision is not human, so he doesn’t have words written on his wrist, he doesn’t have a predestined soulmate, technically he doesn’t even have an actual soul for this sort of thing. They could be each other’s soulmate. A loophole on this stupid theory.

Why didn’t it feel like that though? Why was she questioning it so much? And why now? Three days before her wedding?

She took off the bracelets and stared at the ink, brushing her fingers lightly over it. She loved Vision, she affirmed to herself. She wants to marry him. This is what she wants. And she believes in these words, for a while. Long enough for her to fall asleep, turning off her brain from overthinking the situation too much.

Work has had you occupied all week. With back to back meetings and loads of paperwork to fill out, you’ve barely had time to think of anything else.

But now it seems like everything is done and you have more free time than you’d like.

You left the office early, not having much to do there anymore, and, instead of spending all afternoon home alone, you decided to go out for some coffee.

You were sitting on your usual table in the small coffee shop close to your place. It was calm, quiet and homely, a nice contrast between the places you frequent. The warm cup on your hands did nothing to distract you though.

The book you’d brought was long forgotten on the table as you glanced at your phone every few seconds. It’s two days till the wedding and, even though you tried not to think about it, you hoped your sister would text you saying she broke it off. It was unlikely, but wishing she could get some sense knocked into her wouldn’t kill.

You were so focused on your thoughts that you didn’t notice a woman glancing at you until you caught her trying to call your attention.

“It’s you!” She said, astonished, pointing to the cover of a magazine showing a picture of you.

Recognizing that issue as being a rather old one, you just nodded and offered the woman a friendly smile. She took that as an opportunity to approach you.

“Hi. Sorry,” she sounded excited and also nervous for bothering you, “I just wanted to say what an inspiration you are to women all around, to me especially. I’ve been opening my own business and seeing what you do has been such an encouragement to me. So, thank you!”

You were surprised by how nice she was. You’d expected her to ask you to invest in her business or something, like everyone who approaches you does, but she didn’t and it was a nice change of pace for once.

“What kind of business are you opening?” You asked. Listen to her talk would be a good distraction, plus, you could use the company.

“Oh, no, that’s ok,” she said, “I don’t want to bother you any further.”

“Please,” you urged, “I have the rest of my day off and I could use someone to talk to. Unless you’re busy, then I wouldn’t want to be a burden to you.” You laughed to ease the woman’s nerves.

“Sure?” You nodded and gestured to the empty seat across from you.

She accepted it and you spent at least an hour talking before she had to leave. It was a pleasant conversation, she praised your work but didn’t refrain from giving some interesting criticism on your business. The topic of an investment or a partnership never even came up.

It got your sister out of your mind for a while, although it didn’t last long.

Laying on your bed, your eyes fought to stay open, your mind swirling with all possible scenarios regarding Oli. She would be miserable if she went through with this, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

You love your sister, you care so much about her, but she refuses to listen to your warnings. You could swallow your pride and go to the wedding. You could try and support her. But that would just make an accomplice to her stupidity and you’re not going to just stand there and pretend that that’s ok.

You thought about texting her, way too many times. But your relationship is already rocky as it is, the least you could do is hope she gets some clarity on her own.

One day till the wedding. She’s 24 hours away from the happiest day of her life. Why is it, then, that Wanda doesn’t feel as happy as she should be.

She didn’t have to fake a smile, she was happy, but that smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

None of the others seemed to notice it. They just thought it was the nervousness of having everything set so the day could run smoothly. Vision even brought up the possibility of her having cold feet about it, but she denied it thoroughly, assuring him she wanted this.

And she does. She wants to get married, have kids and build up a family of her own. She wants it all.

It still seemed weird though. Like something was off.

“Steve just called,” Nat interrupted her thoughts, walking back into the room, “everything is set, prepped and organized for tomorrow.”

“Let’s try on the dress then.” Carol urged the girl to put on the piece of clothing for the millionth time.

It did her justice. Slim at the top and flowy at the bottom, accentuating all her curves perfectly. It wasn’t big and puffy but light and delicate. She smiled at her own reflection as the other women crammed around her to take a look.

“You look beautiful.” Pepper said in awe.

“She does, doesn’t she.” Laura agreed, even though she’s the one that helped her choose it.

Wanda didn’t say anything, just smiling and appreciating her own image, excitement growing on her chest from wearing it in front of everyone the next day.

The girls spent hours planning how they would do her hair and makeup. There were so many ideas, disagreements and arguments that Wanda was completely drained by the end of the day. She was happy though, to see her friends being there for her, eager to help and make sure everything was perfect.

It was nice to have people around since she lost so much throughout the years.

After the women were gone and she found herself alone, Wanda’s thoughts from the beginning of the day came back, hitting her like a train.

Was she really more excited about wearing a dress than about getting married? Was this a sign of her actually getting cold feet?

She shrugged them away, affirming to herself these are just stupid uncertanties people always get before their wedding day. At least that’s what happens in movies, so nothing to worry about... right?

Thankfully your work slump had subsided as now a gigantic pile of papers sat on your table. Some contracts had to be restructured and a set of stores had to be chosen to distribute your newest technology.

You thrived in that scenario, with countless reports and 2D drawings of the prototypes scattered about the room. Your mind was going a thousand miles a minute, seemingly unaware of the events that would take place later that day.

That peace, however, was short lived. Your brain short circuited for a second when you checked what had caused your phone to buzz.

Two voicemails.

From none other than Isaac.

It was right then that it dawned on you: Oli was marrying that asshole today. In only a couple of hours actually.

Before listening to the messages you started to record your phone screen, maybe he would try to threaten you or something and you could use that to convince Oli to break things off with him. It wouldn’t kill to be precautious.

The first one was sweet, although it almost made you gag, it was sent with good intentions. Isaac was asking you to go easy on Oli, regardless of your feelings towards him, you should be supportive of her and her decisions. Too pretentious for your liking, but sent with good intentions nonetheless.

The second one started awfully weird. Some muffled sounds, things you couldn’t quite make out. Until you heard a loud moan, your eyes going wide as you pushed your phone away from your face. Isn’t it technically ‘bad luck’ to see the bride on the wedding day? You didn’t have time to dwell on those thoughts as the voice on the phone started to moan each other’s names. The woman didn’t sound anything like Oli, because it wasn’t Oli. Isaac was cheating on your sister? And on their wedding day!?

Oh you weren’t about to just let that go. You stopped the recording, thanking your intuition, and quickly ringed Oli.

It rang once… twice… three times… and then voicemail. You tried at least four more times until you figured she just didn’t want to talk to you.

“Marie can you come in here please?” You called your secretary.

A few seconds later she popped her head inside your office.

“How can I help?”

“Can I use your phone!?” You sounded more exasperated than you wished.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to call your sister today?” Damn, that woman knows you too well. You sighed loudly.

“Please… I just…” You trailed off, sounding desperate this time around.

Thankfully Marie gave in and lent you her phone. You typed Oli’s number and rang it, several times, she didn’t pick up once. You were starting to get truly desperate now.

“Do you have the address?” You handed Marie her phone back.

“Here.” She handed you a piece of paper from her pocket.

It was on the other side of the city, at least a one hour drive. You quickly grabbed your coat, purse and phone, rushing out of the office, only being stopped by a hand wrapping around your wrist.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” You gave her a reassuring smile and a quick nod before making your way to your car. Marie has been working with you since the beginning, she always knew when you were up to nothing good. She also knew that when you set your mind to something, there was no stopping you.

The drive was excruciating. You kept making stupid mistakes and taking wrong turns. Everything seemed to work against you, being it: accidents, red lights, slow drivers, pedestrians. Even the birds chirping around were pissing you off.

You finally reached the venue and stopped the car messily in the front entrance. You quickly ran up the stairs, and almost tripped and fell when you heard the officiant was already performing the ceremony.

You reached the doors and yanked them open, hopefully interrupting the wedding before it was too late.

“Don’t do this!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, nearly breathless.

The guests all turned towards you, surprised. So did the couple on the podium.

Except those people weren’t Oli and Isaac. You recognized them, Vision and Scarlet Witch, or at least that’s the names they went for on television. You’ve seen them before, doing business with Stark had its perks, but had never been introduced.

You could’ve felt bad, but your stomach was a turmoil of faith and nausea. You were either really early or really late to stop Oli.

“Sorry,” you said, trying to catch your breath, “wrong wedding, carry on.” You turned around to leave, but not before noticing the bride glancing at her own wrist.

You didn’t get the chance to take a single step out the door before her voice filled the silence that had settled.

“It’s you.” You stopped dead on your tracks. Your wrist burning slightly, not the kind of pain to cause discomfort, just enough to be noticeable.

Those words.

Her looking at her wrist.

Your’s burning now.

You turned back around, earning all kinds of confused glances from the guests. Your eyes fell on the woman, a smirk plastered on your lips.

“Seems like this isn’t the wrong wedding after all.”

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #mcu #marvel #reader insert #wanda maximoff imagine #soulmate au

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