#i can write better than this i promise
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#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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In an interview with Autosport Toto Wolff said “We can make accommodations if Max wanted to bring his cats to race weekends.”
However, when asked for a comment Helmut Marko rolled his eye and said “Their hospitality probably smells like dog. The cats wouldn’t like it.”
Or, Sassy Verstappen is diagnosed with asthma and Max takes his cats to a race weekend because he does not trust any other human with them
(ao3 link)
#wrote a dumb fic#posted on anon as it’s objectively bad and unchecked writing#but I actually like it so I guess now not anon? whatever!!#writing#I promise I can write better than this when I try
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Linked Universe Daemon AU Headcanons
WORLDBUILDING NOTE 1: The concept of daemons is borrowed from the His Dark Materials series. A daemon is a person’s soul manifested outside of their body in a tangible, physical form, which permanently settles into the form of the animal that most resembles them in character as the individual matures. Person and daemon are not separate beings, but two halves of one mental coin, which means that they each know everything the other does, thinks, and senses. Daemons are almost always the opposite gender of their person and have a distinct personality than the person to a certain degree, as person and daemon represent different aspects of the same whole. Touching someone’s daemon without their permission is taboo, considered a violation tantamount to rape in most cultures.
WORLDBUILDING NOTE 2: All Links have the same name for their daemon: Ellanharai (composed of the Old German elements ellan “courage” and heri “army”). However, because all the Links are their own person, their daemon’s form settles on something different with each incarnation. Just as the Links in the Chain go by different titles to differentiate them all, so, too, do their daemons. Links tend to settle early (12-13 years), as they generally know who they are and what they want from a young age.
WORLDBUILDING NOTE 3: The Dark World/Twili crystal magic combines someone and their daemon into one physical body. This new body has the form of the daemon but the gender of the person with size alterations or different markings/coloration and is controlled by the person, with the daemon part of their mind taking a backseat. For example, Legend is larger as a rabbit than his daemon usually is, and of course, her natural color is not bright pink. The lingering effects of this transformation only physically affect the person side of the person/daemon pair once they are returned to normal.
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SKY + PSALM (RED-CROWNED CRANE)
Red-crowned cranes are renowned for their lasting and affectionate pair bonds, having come to represent longevity and devotion in many cultures; they are cooperative and low-aggression birds, quite tolerant and relaxed around other animals, and only really become territorial and protective over their nesting sites and chicks.
Psalm is impatient, mischievous, and fierce. Sky is more easygoing, considerate, and gentle.
Sky and Psalm are very outwardly affectionate with each other, and both can often be found napping together in a patch of sunlight, Psalm resting her head in Sky’s lap or draping a wing over him. As the physically tallest daemon of the bunch, Psalm delights in teasing fawning over her smaller daemon sisters, especially the younger ones. She will often sit on someone and happily brood, and while some may outwardly protest, everyone secretly enjoys it.
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FOUR + RHYME (ITALIAN HEBRAN HONEYBEE)
Four's daemon is an industrious, adaptable, cooperative, sociable species of honeybee, known for being assertive but not aggressive insects; they have a high threshold for what they consider threats, and will communicate using pheromones, body language, and vocalizations to make themselves as clearly understood as possible, but they will not hesitate to defend themselves if something is deemed a threat.
Four is empathetic, observant, passionate, and composed. Rhyme is the emotional, pragmatic, impulsive, competitive part of his personality.
Rhyme is usually kept in a protective case Four wears around his neck to prevent any harm from coming to her either in battle or out of it, due to her diminutive size, but he will happily let her out to stretch her wings when around people he trusts. While she is too small to outright cuddle with her sisters, Rhyme loves perching on their heads or burrowing into feathers or fur when it’s chilly, and she’s surprisingly expressive with her body language, though one might have to squint to see it.
When Four splits into his Colors, Rhyme also splits. Which means instead of one being in two bodies, they’re now one being in eight bodies. As in LU canon, none of the Colors is their own individual in this AU, merely a fraction of a larger whole. In turn, each iteration of Rhyme is an alternate part of each of the Colors, with Four’s soul fragmenting into smaller and smaller individual pieces the deeper you go down.
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TIME + MELODY (SPANISH FARON MASTIFF)
While menacing in appearance due to their sheer size and bulk, Spanish mastiffs are actually known for being protective, affectionate, quiet dogs, with a long history of guarding livestock; they are patient, easygoing, and surprisingly playful, good with children and tolerant of other animals, though their strong wills and stubbornness make them a challenge to handle for first-time dog owners.
Time is authoritative, jaded, and stoic, while Melody embodies his nurturing, hopeful, mischievous side.
Melody can often be found at Time’s side with one of his hands resting on her head or back. As the largest daemon in the group paired with the tallest person, they make for quite the intimidating pair and are downright deadly in battle together. Outside of battle, though, Melody becomes a big teddy bear, utterly content to let her daughters sisters use her as a pillow or mode of transportation, quietly communicating all the warm care and tenderness Time is sometimes too awkward to openly express. She is the one who introduced the musical motif the other Ellanharais also adopted when coming up with nicknames for themselves.
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TWILIGHT + ARIA (GRAY WOLF)
Twilight’s daemon is a social, cooperative, dedicated apex predator, who routinely work together to raise their young, defend their territories, and chase down their prey over vast distances; they are not overly aggressive and prefer to avoid conflict whenever they can, using body language, sent marking, and howling to diffuse tense situations and prevent costly fights between packs or individuals.
Twilight is focused, cautious, and opinionated. Aria is his easygoing, empathetic, people-pleasing side.
Aria instantly adopts most of the younger daemons in the group and dotes on them as much as they’ll allow. However, she turns into a big, besotted puppy whenever Time and Melody come into the picture and becomes adorably bashful around Malon’s pigeon daemon Rosamu. She is often found at Twilights right side, guarding his flank and watching his back while he focuses his attention on what’s in front of him. She also loves scritches and belly rubs and has nearly smothered Twilight more than once by sprawling on top of him too heavily while they sleep. While their initial transformation into Wolfie was traumatic and scarring at first, they have both grown to enjoy the occasional opportunity to truly travel, fight, and exist as one.
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WILD + TRILL (WEDGE-TAILED EAGLE)
Wild’s daemon is a loyal, resourceful, resilient species of raptor that is often found alone or in monogamous pairs, but will freely cooperate together with groups of up to 15 other eagles to take down larger prey; they are straightforward and communicative with their vocalizations and displays and also surprisingly playful, wrestling or playing food games with each other.
Trill is Wild’s dutiful, reserved, focused side, while Wild is the impulsive, playful, lackadaisical side.
Trill is rather choosy with and to whom she shows open affection. She can be very standoffish, preferring to let Wild do the talking for both of them, but once she trusts someone, she will often become very chatty and physically affectionate. It is common to see her riding around or napping on Aria's back, but she has begun opening up more to the others as well.
Because Wild lost all his memories in the Shrine of Resurrection, Trill had become unsettled when they finally woke up, taking the most basic shape a daemon can take, normally only seen with very young children: a small, floating, glowing ball of golden Dust. As they regained their memories during Wild’s quest and discovered more about themselves, Trill began taking on some of their old favored forms before eventually resettling for good as her original settled form, the wedge-tailed eagle. Despite physically being the same, though, there’s still that distance between who they are now and who they used to be, most evident in how their personalities have seemed to switch; Wild used to be more serious, focused, and responsible, and Trill used to embody the impulsivity, rowdiness, and wanderlust he kept tightly tamped down for the sake of duty and appearances. Both of them are still coming to terms with how much they have changed.
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LEGEND + LYRIC (EUROPEAN HYLIAN RABBIT)
Legend's daemon settled as a hardy, wary, sociable, territorial species of rabbit, able to survive and thrive in almost any environment; they are a keystone prey species, a vital part of almost any ecosystem they find themselves in, who must stay ever vigilant and rely on their speed, wits, and determination to stay alive.
Legend is blunt, private, and practical, while Lyric is the sensitive, sociable, sentimental side of him.
Legend has… a complicated relationship with his daemon’s form. He initially hides her away from the rest of the Chain out of paranoia and insecurity, keeping her in his pack at all times. What would Hyrule they think of the renowned Hero of Legend having a defenseless, soft little rabbit as a daemon? They would lose all respect for him, or worse, be disappointed. It isn’t until after the Twili crystal incident, and Twilight and Sky find out about Lyric’s form, that he starts to come out of his shell.
After the ice has been broken, Lyric leaps at the chance to interact with the other deamons more. She goads Aria or even Melody into games of chase, can finally properly pounce on Warriors’ daemon the next time she teases her, curls up into a little fuzzy ball with Hyrule’s daemon to nap, leaps up on Trill or Psalm or Wind’s daemon’s backs and coax them into giving her a ride, and holds Rhyme in her little paws to gloat that she finally knows a daemon smaller than her (Rhyme is not amused). She is the one who came up with the name for their group of daemons, which is a chorus, just like a group of Links is a chain.
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HYRULE + CADENCE (YELLOW-BELLIED GLIDER)
Hyrule’s daemon is a small, nocturnal glider species that is selectively social, close-bonding, and expressive, utilizing a number of chirps, whirrs, whistles, and growls to keep away intruders and keep tabs on each other; yellow-bellied gliders are incredibly active, hard-working creatures, spending up to 90% of their time awake foraging, and they can travel up to 2 kilometers in just 4 hours through a combination of climbing and gliding.
Hyrule is independent, wary, and agreeable. Cadence represents his dependent, connected, feisty side.
Cadence is generally quite a skittish daemon, who can normally be found clinging wide-eyed to Hyrule’s back, shoulders, chest, or arms, or hidden inside his tunic or pack. She has not interacted closely with many other daemons in her time (fairies do not have daemons), so she is still getting used to the physical affection the others offer. She does not dislike it; it is simply a lot. But she is gradually learning to love being nuzzled, cuddled, and carried, and she greatly enjoys riding around on the other larger daemons.
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WIND + SHANTY (MILITARY MACAW)
Wind settled just a couple months before the events of Linked Universe as a resourceful, gregarious, deeply loyal species of macaw; like all macaws, they can be quite loud, communicative, and expressive, and they have generally been described as having friendly, confident, playful dispositions, albeit with the occasional temperamental mood swing.
Shanty is Wind's meticulous, perceptive, down-to-earth side, while Wind is reckless, curious, and carefree.
As is befitting for a parrot daemon, Shanty spends much of her time perched on Wind’s shoulders or arms, though she does love being held and cuddled, too. She is still getting used to her settled form, and sometimes forgets she cannot shift like she once did, leading to some hilarious mishaps when she faceplanted on the ground trying to turn into a hermit crab, or one memorable instance where she nearly drowned while trying to become a yellowtail snapper. She gets very starry-eyed over the other demons and thinks all of them are the coolest for different reasons. She desperately wants to impress them and prove she’s just as badass as they are, so she can sometimes chafe under their well-meaning coddling.
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WARRIORS + BALLAD (RED FOX)
Warriors’ daemon settled as the confident, dependable, independent red fox, the most widespread and successful carnivore in the world, found in just about every available habitat, from jungle to tundra; despite being mainly solitary, these animals have a complex social hierarchy and can be seen in a wide variety of group settings, with vixens sometimes coming together during the breeding season to help raise each other’s cubs, and their mates bringing them food and also helping parent the new cubs.
Warriors is shrewd, charming, and diplomatic, while Ballad is more brash, cheeky, and candid.
Ballad, while generally friendly and warm with the other daemons (especially the younger ones), is also strangely skittish around them. She is fine initiating touch or curling up for a nice nap around or with someone else, but if touched unexpectedly, she tends to either bristle, growl, and retreat behind Warriors, or go very still and quiet. She shies away from any human hands except Warriors' (and even then there are days he doesn't touch her directly). They bring to mind other hands. Slim, small, elegant, painted hands that hurt, that took, that tainted- ...It’s fine. She’s fine. They’re fine. Everything’s fine.
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Resources:
Red-crowned crane analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24990
Italian honeybee analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=23882
Tibetan mastiff analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24552
Spanish mastiff information: https://dogtime.com/dog-breeds/spanish-mastiff
Gray wolf analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=23828
Wedge tailed eagle analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=26686
European rabbit analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=23718
Yellow bellied glider analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24968
Military macaw analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=26591
Red fox analysis: https://daemonpage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=24946
Art belongs to @/linkeduniverse
#linked universe#linked universe daemon au#daemon au#lu character analysis#lu sky#lu four#lu time#lu twilight#lu wild#lu legend#lu hyrule#lu wind#lu warriors#xi writes#*shows up 5 years late to the fandom with starbucks and a daemon AU*#hello fandom please accept this humble offering i promise i'm also working on a fic 🥺#look i'm predictable daemon AUs are my go-to when it comes to making content what can i say :V#obligatory disclaimer that I have not read or watched the HDM series I just think the daemon worldbuilding is neat#i am UNBELIEVABLY lucky that rabbit and wolf fit Legend and Twilight so well respectively#idk what i would have done if they didn't but it really worked out#I'm cheating a bit for Time's daemon since I know the Hero's Shade manifests as a wolf in Twilight Princess#but I'm handwaving that away by saying the Hero's Shade morphs to reflect whoever he's mentoring at the time#and his form isn't a direct reflection of himself the same way Twilight's is.#So he gets a mastiff as his daemon b/c to me it just fits way better#also mastiffs are HUGE omg they are bigger than WOLVES#Time wtf stop being so big who gave you the right#meanwhile Four standing there with his teeny lil bee: 🧍♂️#Yes Malon has a pigeon daemon I am so delighted about it please i love this so much someone come and yell about it with meeeeee#no Warriors is not okay why do you ask :)))))
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it's been pointed out on here before that a lot of terf arguments are actually rooted in sexist idealology that feminists fought and died to unnormalise decades ago and that's its own kettle of fish but one thing i also find very frustrating about this so called 'radical' feminism is that it's so... defeatist? like the moment you categorically label an entire section of society as Bad and Inherently Evil then there's also the implication that nothing can be done about it, and it completely takes all accountability away. saying all men are evil is just another way of saying boys will be boys. he raped her because he's a man. he hit her because he's a man. he didn't listen because he's a man - it's almost offensively oversimplified. there's no point trying to fix this issue in society because men are just Like That, okay! so now what? it's not like they're going anywhere, so you just accept that 50% of the population are evil and will forever treat you terribly and there's nothing to be done about it bc they're biologically predisposed to it? like is that fr the argument here? you're soooo radical for that
#this is coming from someone who used to very genuinely be a misandrist#ironically it was only when i started actually analysing my own feminism that i got MORE confrontational with men#and started respecting my boundaries a lot better BECAUSE i started holding them accountable again#like when men treat me like shit nowadays i dont just write it off as 'what did you expect? he's a man' i get MAD about it#because i EXPECT BETTER FROM THEM even if it's just tiny shit women have to deal with daily#i hold them to just as high a standard as im held to and i make them take accountability when they dont meet that#and whether you realise it or not even on a subconscious level the MOMENT you black-and-white blanket statement all men as bad#you stop holding them accountable.#like it is literally just boys will be boys. do terfs seriously not realise they're sending feminism BACKWARDS#like if a girl came to me with her trauma and people - other girls no less - tried to comfort her with 'yeah all men are evil'#id be fucking furious. like no he did that because he was a piece of shit that had it normalised to him that women arent to be respected#dont you dare let him off the hook with something as simple and uncritical as 'he's a man'#i promise you men like that will MUCH prefer a blanket statement such as 'all men are as bad as each other'#than actually being point blank told they're an abuser or a rapist. because being lumped together is comfortable and even empowering#wheras isolating their behaviour with words that are Bad and Ugly (LIKE 'rapist') is not comfortable at all and has heavy connotations#idk i dont think radical feminism is always bad on its own it can be v liberating. just terfs and misandrists that i have a problem with#dropping this post in a piranha tank and closing tumblr knowing im gonna have some thirty year old karen yelling at me within 5 mins#i probably wont respond to any terf comments bc they literally mentally exhaust me with their stupidity#but that also depends on my mood and ability to keep my mouth shut LMFAO we shall see
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Hello, I was wondering if you have any tips for how to start getting into writing?? I’ve always wanted to write the stories in my head down but I struggle with writing and am not very good in general haha. When I read your books I get so filled with inspiration but feel like it’s too late for me to start ( even though logically I know I’m still quite young, but being in my final year of university feels like I’m running on quicksand ).
When reading Falling Falling Stars for the first time, it was like being shown a new type of love, being shown that has changed me as a person, which is why I’m reaching out.
Thank you for your time and for sharing your wonderful stories.
Hi anon!
People can learn how to write - especially for themselves - at any age. In fact sometimes it's easier to start when you're a bit older, when you've read and experienced a lot more stories and have an idea of the kind of things you enjoy reading.
It's important mostly to just be patient and gentle with yourself. You don't have to sit down and write a contained story, free yourself from the idea that you have to write a chronological/sequential complete story when you get started.
Start with the things you want to see most. Say there's a show where you just want two characters to hook up. Write a page of that. Not even the reason why, just...start with what you're imagining.
At first it might not be exactly what you're hoping for. There will be lines you like, and dialogue you think 'oh yeah this is kind of what I wanted' etc. that's okay. Think of it like...when people start out in art, it's not what they imagined yet, but that doesn't mean it's bad! It's a 'sketch.' It's good to do lots of writing sketches too.
If you find you enjoy writing things that you've always imagined and wish you could read, practice other things too! You can look around your environment and write 'how would I describe where I'm sitting if I loved this place more than anywhere else in the world' and then write 'how would I describe where I'm sitting to an alien' or 'how would I describe how this place smells, or looks, or sounds (practice listening for the sounds outside too, it can be meditative!), or feels to the touch.'
You can do those 'sketches' anywhere - in cafes, in restaurants, on public transport, on your notes app at a friend's place, at a family dinner after everyone's eaten and you're just chilling.
And then often without thinking about it, you will use those skills to breathe more life into the things you want to see most in your writing. Instead of just a one page hook up, you might write four pages where you describe the bedroom, how things feel, what the 'mood' is etc.
All you need is an urge to see certain things in the world and wanting to write them down. Put down random lines of dialogue. If you imagine two characters arguing, or hugging, or making up, write down somewhere quickly: 'These two characters hugging' to inspire you later. Maybe something specific about it makes you happy. 'They're hugging but this one is grabbing the other one's jumper/sweater really tightly.'
Writing for me is a sequence of moments, and while I write chronologically / sequentially now, I didn't used to! I gave myself permission to write scenes because I found it freeing, because if nothing else, then I have a scene of something I always wanted to see in the world. Maybe I do nothing more than just read and enjoy it sometimes, well, that's what I wanted - to write something I wanted to see in the world!
Anyone can do that, anon, and age is seriously no barrier to that. Writing creatively is one of those things that, like wine, tends to age/get better with time, whether you're practicing it or not. Learning more about the world, other people, ourselves, and the things in it, reading more, watching more film and TV, that actually enriches our imaginative landscape, and that's what fuels writing (even if you don't have an 'imagination' in the classic sense).
Writing creatively isn't about writing 'books' - anyone can sit down and write a moment, and you can too. And if you don't like looking at a blank page, just put down a sentence. Even a sentence from another story that inspires you.
My favourite writing advice to defeat a blank page because it always makes me laugh is:
Write the worst sentence you possibly can. Like, go out of your way and make it bad and silly.
'What a dumb brown rug.'
There, you no longer have a blank page! And you can definitely write a better sentence than that!
'He hated that rug, the colour reminded him of mud, and it didn't suit the room at all.'
'He rubbed his shoes on the brown rug, locking his hands together, twisting his fingers and hoping no one noticed him.'
But you know, 'what a dumb brown rug' is fun too. :D
And ultimately, you just have to try and have some fun with it <333
#asks and answers#pia on writing#dodgy advice#we often have all these ideas of what writing *should* be#but ultimately all it is#is writing down some things that you see in your mind#and learning more ways to do that#but you can do a writing stick figure equivalent right now anon#i promise that you're already better than you think you will be <3333#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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Two different types of couples in fandom. Inspired by @antia-pi's art with Leshycat and Narilamb (specifically this post -> https://www.tumblr.com/antia-pi/757728977997774848/wait-wait-i-have-an-idea-wait-billford-and?source=share).
#gravity falls#bill cipher#billford#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#this is so fucking stupid lmao#shitpost#shitpost art#gravity falls shitpost#fiddauthor#also this is just my random lazy doodle style i can draw better than this i promise i just made it look fuckass on purpose#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls art#i am actively going insane over a thing i need to write rn so i didn't have it in me to draw properly lolll
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WIP Wednesday - Chapter 6 of The Redemption and Subsequent Death of Bill Cipher
“Am I— Did I interrupt something?” Stan asks a little awkwardly.
“Nah,” Bill, who recovers much faster from gaping at Stan like a fish, leans back into the bench before punching Pine Tree’s shoulder. “Kid was just heading out to go break windows or something.”
“Better hope it’s not these windows or [you’re] cleaning it up,” Stan tells Bill before reaching out, shoving the bill of Pine Tree’s hat down over his eyes. Pine Tree grumbles and fixes it before turning a far brighter smile on Stan.
“Your sister’s looking for you. Something about trying to make a suit out of glitter.”
“Oh. Great.” Pine Tree rubs his face and gets to his feet. “Thanks, Grunkle Stan.”
He goes to the door and pauses to look at Bill for a second.
“Just… you know, I think you’re right. I think things will be okay again soon.”
Bill’s brow furrows as Pine Tree heads back inside before he starts chuckling as he shakes his head.
“Weird kid.”
“They’re receptive,” Stan says as he takes up Pine Tree’s seat and Bill tries not to groan. “Not that you’ve made it exactly hard to miss that things are weird between you and my brother. I think the temperature in the room drops by ten degrees every time one of you walks into it. And I thought things were bad with my ex-wife! Ha!”
Bill winces at that, pulling a face as he leans forward to bury his face in his hands.
“Yeah, well, we weren’t even dating—“
“No, you two were just sucking face anytime you were left unsupervised.”
“Please, Pine Tree already got onto me for this. I fucked up and—“
“Summoned a demon, yeah, I heard.”
Bill’s blood runs cold and he looks between his fingers at Stan. …he’s not swinging, he’s not snarling, and Bill can say he’s almost positive that this isn’t Stan then.
“…and you’re cool with that?”
“What? Oh, no, absolutely not. I almost strangled you in your sleep when my brother told me.”
Billy, admittedly, feels a little better with that admission.
“He also said that you came to him to get rid of said demon.”
“Yeah, well… I don’t know. Taking over the universe is so last year.”
Stan snorts at that.
“You’re, like, really cool with that?” Bill tries again. “Don’t want to, I don’t know, punch me in the eye?”
Now Stan shrugs.
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I think watching you walk around on eggshells, convinced one of us is going to take a swing at you or tell the Axolotl—“
“Axo— Oh, wait, no, you said it right.”
“I listen. I’m just saying, you know, you with your tail between your legs ain’t a bad look. Certainly makes me feel better.”
“…but, like, the whole breaking your brother’s heart? Trying to take over the universe? You’re sure you’ve got no murder held in your very large, very family-oriented heart?”
“Don’t go tempting me, Cipher, but… Ford’s an adult, you’re… maybe an adult, I don’t know, how do demons age?”
“Depends,” Bill admits, pulling a face. “Interdimensional demons live to about a hundred millennia or so, sometimes longer if they take care of themselves.”
“You said you were a dream demon though,” Stan remembers.
“Yeah, well, that’s a little more… complicated.”
Stan cracks open his pitt cola and gestures to Bill. He debates for a second before taking in a deep breath and sighing.
“I was born an interdimensional demon, a very precocious, adorable thing. Even though they’re relatively harmless, mostly brokers for deals made between species, they’ve got their own power. It doesn’t help that I was born… different.”
Bill’s voice gets soft, thoughtful.
“They tried to understand me, probably. They couldn’t though. A world full of two-dimensional idiots, they never understood what I saw, understood how I felt. So it was, you know, a little…”
“Othering?” Stan offers and Bill nods.
“Othering. Everyone adored me. ‘Special Billy’, ‘unique Billy’, ‘Billy who sees things no one else can see’.” […crazy Billy.]
Bill grips the bench a little too tight, knuckles turning white as he looks down at the ground.
“I won’t bore you with the sob story of a universe lost to a monster,” and maybe because it’s bad enough to admit it to Ford, admitting it to Stan who he still doesn’t trust not to come swinging at him is another thing, “but I ended up alone. I was drifting through time and space for, easily, a couple millennia. I spent a lot of time floating amongst the stars I’d stared at so long. I saw galaxies born, galaxies die; I saw nebulae explode and reform; stars would go through entire lifecycles in front of my eyes. It was me and the cosmos, so I guess I didn’t feel alone.
#gravity falls#gf#BillFord#bill cipher#dipper pines#Stan pines#Stanley pines#WIP Wednesday#the redemption and subsequent death of bill cipher#trasdobc#my writing#we are back on track baby!!! this was a rough week and weekend but we are back on schedule!#chapter 6 is typed up chapter 5 is being edited and posted today and then I’m working on chapter 7#as always this story is evolving almost faster than i can keep up with it#we’re getting some new faces (new to the story#old to anyone who’s watched gravity falls) in chapter 7#but mostly I’m trying to get the fuck out of bill and ford are fighting land#to all the people who’ve been like oh they’re so cute oh I’m just so happy for their soft moments: I’m very sorry for these next three#or so chapters#there is no softness here#go back and reread chapter 4#but BUT things do get better again#i promise#i am physically incapable of writing anything that isn’t a happy ending#i will stop making them fight and I might even stop cockblocking them#maybe#we’ll see
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new ask game time!!!
I promise i'll get to the asks from the last ones but rn i'm trying to get some fics done asap so we gotta motivate me on these ok
Anyway, send me an ask with a fic title and i'll write at least seven sentences in that fic and then share some of them!
fics include:
Convincing Your Teenage Time-Traveling Parents That They're Totally Not Future-Married (And Other Fun Ideas For Family Vacations Gone Horribly Wrong)
You Could Do Better
well... they've had WORSE ideas...
Rebelvengers 2 Electric Boogaloo (AKA The Adventures Of Iceboy And Stabgirl)
Starcrossed: A Motion Picture Production by Fulcrum Studios
Well, The Galaxy Is Safe Now, But There's Still No Adult Supervision, So Don't Get Too Comfy [chapter three]
Fool's Rules (And Ways To Get Around Them)
she's absolutely smitten
Looking Out For A Place To Go
EDIT: NOW WITH EVEN MORE FIC OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM!
#ask game#wip ask game#sorry about not getting to all the old asks from the last two games I promise I have most of them half-finished in my drafts#i'm just trying to get these projects done as soon as I can#feel free to ask more than one btw!#I gotta write all of these soon so the more the better
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girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much
hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!
not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from
as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else
BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??
the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:
when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely
but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing
and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.
#asks#(stepping off my soapbox) very sorry for that I didn’t know I cared so much#but the truth is I want everyone to read wips all the time and I DO get why people don’t#because a story that remains unfinished haunts you sometimes and people enjoy that on different scales#but wips are amazing#as an author with many#but also as an author with more completed stories than wips but who also is apparently#known for having wips which like make it make sense I guess whatever#wips are amazing because my#favorite part of stories is talking with you about them#I cut out answering ao3 comments a few years ago so I could focus on writing stories#but I always try to answer asks on tumblr#about a chapter before I post the next one#I love it it’s my conversation space where I feel most comfortable#comfortable *#and I’m so sorry#this ask answer has ballooned way past what your very kind ask warranted#I just have emotions about this lately#waiting can mAke it better I promise - you make a potato salad and you don’t immediately eat it. you put it in the fridge#so the flavors meld#sometimes fics are the same way tbh if you can experience them like#that.#sometimes you read a wip and you’re like wow that could be a motif and then you watch I#that motif develop over a year and you get this satisfaction of being right and also being proud of the writer??#idk I could be talknin#out of my ass but I just. love Wips. all the time and always
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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going off of what dwreader and ghostfoolish have been saying better than i can:
why do people think louis will still be a believable victim and it won't be racist if the show just has armand mess with louis's memories regarding 1x05 and how claudia died, and also be controlling him throughout the entire interview/relationship? like not only does it paint victims of abuse as unreliable and unstable, therefore not be trusted with anything*, but it also, just, shifts most if not all the blame from a white man to a poc? we've asking this the entire time, but they still don't have an answer for that.
*like statistically speaking victims of abuses' memories might be muddled/repressed from the trauma, so even though they know the abuse happened, people will use the fact that they might not be able to describe an entire fight in specific detail, or got some dates mixed up, or did not speak up sooner, to paint them as mentally ill liars, or even abusers themselves. which is why i think giving louis false memories in 1x05 is still victim blaming in a way, because it encourages the trend of victims not being believed.
#iwtv discourse#fandom racism#yeah like i'm fully confident the creators are smart and can write their show better than i can but#if these little hints and teasing turns out to be a red herring like it did for 1x07 then it regardless might have#encouraged some of the audience to initally just disregard EVERYTHING louis says in season 1 and think he has no agency#which goes against their original statement of not jumping ahead and letting the tale seduce you you know?#i really just want to enjoy the ride and see where the show takes us and love all the stuff we've been given lately it's just#i keep being reminded these fans exist if i'm not careful where i look lol#i do get marketing is a thing and maybe they think they constantly need to tease SOMETHING#a shocking reveal or a revisit promising something more in order to get more seasons seeing as it's so easy for shows to be cancelled now#but like every time new content is released it also brings out the racism
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dark. that was all he had ever known. cold, dark, damp. the boy shivers in the small room, painfully alone, only a book and his magic to keep him company. he tries not to use his magic very often, though. it seemed that the people above knew when he used it and they always always always refused to give him food until he “woke up” next, if they bothered to keep track of that. maybe this time he’ll learn their lesson. the boy whispers his spell, cur memini, and creates a small light in his fingers. this is the only spell he can cast safely, too small to be noticeable by the people above. he holds his hand over the fading book on the floor. the boy can’t read the letters on the page, but this book has pictures. he flips through it again, careful of the pages that were falling apart, admiring the figure in armor who always comes to rescue the figure in the tower, cut off from the world, just like him. the boy frequently dreams of a figure in armor coming to save him, despite the years he has spent alone. dark and cold and damp.
the room the boy lives in, the only room he has memories of, is empty besides himself and the book. sometimes the people above would give him water and stale bread to eat, and then there was a cup and a dirty plate, but otherwise it was just the boy and the book. the boy knows why the people above have locked him away, they told him that he was a freak of nature, unnatural, dangerous. but the boy could only make lights in his palm, and that wasn’t very dangerous at all. he thinks to himself that the people above are the dangerous ones, locking away a child for something like this, but he can’t say that out loud. he doesn’t want to die again.
the boy’s stomach grumbles and he curls in on himself, the light in his palm fades out. he longs to see the sun again, to play with the other children he can hear through the ceiling, to be normal. the people above must have decided to punish him again, though, as he doesn’t remember the last time he had anything to drink, to eat. his stomach would eat through his skin and he would still wake up the next day. why can’t he just die once and for all and be rid of the pain? why is the world keeping him here? why was he even born?
the boy closes his eyes, and falls asleep. maybe this time it won’t hurt so much.
---
how long has he been here? the boy doesn’t keep track of time. he knows he’s died at least a dozen times, but how long does it take for a dozen lifetimes to pass?
---
a clattering on the floor wakes the boy up. the people above decided he can eat today. stale bread and water again, but better than nothing to the boy. he crawls closer to it, listening to the door. it closes and the voices disappear. where was the sound of the lock? did they forget?
the boy scarfs down his food and water before tiptoeing up the stairs. he doesn’t hear any voices, but he needs to be careful. he doesn’t remember what the above looks like, but he needs to leave. he needs to be free.
slowly, quietly, he opens the door. it’s dark on the other side of it, but still much, much brighter than his room ever was. he closes his eyes but keeps the door open. breathe in, and out. opens his eyes again, blinking the brightness away. pushes the door further open. steps on the hard ground outside the door. he’s so close. closes the door quietly. turns around and holds his breath. where was outside? pick a direction and go. his legs hurt. turn the corner, listen for voices. voices are dangerous, get away from the voices. whisper his spell, create a small light. keep moving keep moving keep moving. window ahead. break it? open it? is he strong enough? lift the window up. too weak. voices coming. hurry hurry hurry must get out now. whisper spell again, hand on window. break the glass and jump through it. cuts on feet cuts on legs deal with that later. voices getting louder voices shouting. run run RUN.
the boy runs away from the building, away from his room. freedom is so close. first get to the trees, then… he hasn’t thought that far, but he will find a way. gunshots from the house. he runs faster, must get to the trees, must hide, must be free. cur memini, he whispers again, crossing into the forest. his spell can make lights and now break windows, but he needs it to protect him at this moment. run run run until the voices are quiet again. his legs are giving out, but he needs to run. he can’t die now or they’ll find him. keep running. bare feet on sticks and stones and sharp things, everything hurts but he can’t stop. he keeps running until the sun comes up. his heart beats out of his chest.
---
when he wakes up he doesn’t know how much time has passed. his heart beats fast and he sits up. did they find him? he looks around. trees, rocks, a gurgling stream. he’s free. he’s free. he sighs and lays back down. how far did he run? he needs to go further. away from other people, away from anyone who might lock him up again. he sits up again and forces himself to stand and walk towards the sound of the stream. he can start there. water is important, and he might be able to get food from the little stream too.
his first drink of the stream water is icy cold, quenching his lifelong thirst in just a few swallows. he washes his face with it, removing years of sweat and grime. he wants to sit by the stream forever if only he could, but the people will find him eventually if he doesn’t keep moving. but he allows himself a few minutes to bathe in the water, savoring the feeling of water on his skin. his stomach still growls, wanting something more filling than the freezing water of the stream, but that would have to wait. he needs to get his bearings.
the light of the outside world is almost blinding, he realizes. the sun and the snow made it almost impossible to see anything. he should get up above the trees. can he even do that? cur memini, he says, trying to get his voice to be louder than a whisper. his feet float a few inches above the ground. he closes his eyes and says his spell again with more conviction. Cur Memini. he feels himself shooting into the air before he opens his eyes. he can see the forest stretch out for miles around him. trees covered in snow in every direction. if the old house is behind him, he should fly straight ahead, towards the forests on the mountains. tentatively, he leans forward and focuses his magic on keeping himself afloat.
it doesn’t take much to exhaust what little magic he has, but he’s put more distance between himself and the old house and the people above now. he should be safe to rest, truly rest. but first he should find something to eat. is there anything to eat out here? something in his head tells him to look a little closer to the ground. to his left. there’s a bush full of berries. he’s never had anything but stale bread, and doesn’t know what to expect as he crushes one with his teeth.
the sensation overtakes him for a brief moment. the berry is sweet, yet tart, and delicious. it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten and he thanks the little voice in his head for the information as he picks several more berries from the bush. the juice runs down his chin and makes him sticky, but it feels good. he feels truly alive for the first time.
once he’s finished picking the bush clean of its fruits, he needs to find a place to rest, to stay warm. he’s shivering in the intense cold of the north, but it’s nothing he isn’t used to. the room was never very warm after all. he listens to the little voices calling out to him, guiding him towards a small cave, instructing him on how to make a small fire to warm himself up. a small rabbit brushes against his leg and he swears one of the voices is coming from it. and with the fire going, he thanks the rabbit before it hops away back into the snow. he would be roasting that same rabbit over the fire a few months later.
the boy can’t stay in the cave forever though. as days turn to weeks turn to months, he worries that the people above are getting closer to him. they’ll put him back in that cold, dark, damp room again. he needs to keep moving. he has been practicing his magic, casting stronger spells, and he needs to be ready to fly. it's been long enough. cur memini he says holding his hand out. a rough stick with twigs tied to the end flies into his hand. it’s a poor excuse for what he understands is a broom, but it will work. he climbs onto it and focuses. cur memini cur memini cur memini. he lifts off the ground and watches as the branches of the trees get shorter and eventually he passes above the treetops.
he takes a moment to gather his bearings. he no longer remembers the direction the house was in, but going up is his best bet of staying away from the people above. he laughs, realizing that he is the one above them now. after a moment, he flies into the mountains. the small voices change into bigger, unfamiliar ones as he gets further into the mountain range. they tell him to hide, to stay away. he doesn’t listen. they cannot be more dangerous than the humans he is running from.
the boy lands, still exhausted from using so much magic, but he was able to travel further this time. that has to count for something, surely. he gathers some sticks and looks for another cave to make his home in. the caves remind him too much of the room he left, so he chooses to stay close to the entrance, close to the light that reminds him he is free. the fire keeps the animals away, but the voices are curious about the new presence in their woods. they make him curious too. he should stay in the cave tonight though and regain his energy. maybe he can get some small game to fill his stomach before settling in for the night. he listens for a rabbit’s voice, or maybe a squirrel, anything that would be small enough to kill with his hands.
at last, a small fox’s voice is heard nearby. he wonders if fox will taste different from the other game he’s eaten thus far. he lifts a hand-sized rock and slinks out of the cave towards the voice. it takes a few minutes to find the source, but the fox is curled under a tree, shivering, hungry, just like him. the boy hesitates before bludgeoning it and slinging the corpse over his shoulders. there are more foxes. he is much more important.
the fox is only the first animal he hunts in those mountainous woods. he spends several years in that forest and eventually humans settle up there as well. the boy, or rather, the man now, has made a name for himself amongst the human populations of the north. he is no longer afraid of humans capturing him and locking him up. they are still terrified of him, but now he is in control of that terror. the hunters that left his territory alive whispered tales of the great wizard owen who inhabited the mountains and terrorized anyone who had the bad luck of running into him.
all of this is perfectly fine with owen. eventually his reputation will grow beyond himself, encapsulating atrocities that were impossible for even someone as strong as oz to commit, but that would be a problem for future owen. for now, he is still young and living in his cave on the outskirts of a small village and scaring hunters who stray too far from their boundaries. the wolves don’t like these visitors either and gladly listen to owen’s lamentations. it keeps his hands clean of the bloodshed if he isn’t casting the spell himself. the wolves don’t care for owen either, but they respect him. and that is enough for owen.
the first of the unwanted visitors was a young man, someone who wanted to provide for his family. he pleaded with owen and the wolves to let him go and he wouldn’t cause any problems. those pleas fell on deaf ears though as owen looked the man in the eyes. won’t your family be disappointed, he asked almost innocently, you don’t have anything to show for your efforts. the man stammered a response, they’d rather i come back alive with nothing than die trying to find food. is that so, owen reached out for the man’s chin, the distance between their faces was almost nothing. y-yes, sir, please just let me go and i won’t bother you anymore. owen grinned. oh i’m sure you won’t be causing us any trouble again. the wolves stalked out of the woods, drooling at the prospect of tearing a piece of that man for themselves. owen snapped his fingers, and they came running forward, only to stop mere inches from the now trembling man. there was a suspicious yellow stain in the snow beneath him. p-p-please sir, anything you ask, it’s yours! then make sure you tell the rest of your little village that this forest belongs to the great wizard owen. the man ran off, leaving behind a hunting rifle and a ratty sack. the rifle would be of use, but the sack became tinder for his fires.
despite the warning from that first man, hunters continued to enter into owen’s territory. and one after the other, they ran off screaming with their tails between their legs. this should have annoyed owen, that people would ignore all of the warnings and stories that had started popping up about him, but it doesn’t. their fear feeds into his magic power, only making him stronger, and that is all fine with owen. he is no longer a weak child locked in the damp, dark basement, and he never will be again.
#shay writes#mahoyaku#promise of wizard#mhyk fanfiction#owen#owen mhyk#owen mahoyaku#character study#my wips#okay putting. disclaimers in the tags bc formatting. i am still new to reading everything#i'm almost done with the ballads. i have one left and its the proud hunter one#and then i'm hoping to start the first anni story#so uhhhhh if anything past the ballads is wrong no its not#jk jk i just havent gotten to it but i also like to take creative liberties with some things#and i definitely have already#trust me this is going to be way longer than it already is#like this is 2.5k words and i'm only posting all of it now bc its owen's birthday#i have several more scenes i want to write out as well that will add probably at least#another 2k words to this#if not more. its gonna be a time#but i did force myself to get to a decent place to end where it wasnt like. the middle of the scene#or a sentence. which some of my wips do accidentally end midsentence. i need to get better at that#but yeah. okay i should go to sleep i am actually sick and need to sleep and pray#i can go to work tomorrw. though if i'm feeling worse thats fine w me#i can sleep in for once#anyway happy birthday owen my mippy <3
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i think. everyone should stop reading my most popular fics that aren't really that good and start reading the ones with 18 kudos that are significantly better
#this is about (just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of#yes i had fun writing it. but it's REALLY NOT THAT GOOD#also i cannot stress this enough: that fic was a fluke#it's NOT a good example of what i write. guys i'm so much better at the angsty character study fics#i promise i actually can get proper characterization. i had to sacrifice some of that for the light-hearted stupid cheesy premise#alas#no one in fandom actually cares about characterization#ngl sometimes i even wonder what the point of writing stuff in-character is if the flat#'characters reduced to a single trait that they may or may not even possess'#fics will ALWAYS end up being more popular than the ones with good characterization#anyway i know why the 18 kudos one is so low. it's the mcd tag. AND it's a gen fic centered around a character no one cares about#i wasn't expecting that one to do well#but it does suck that like. my most popular fics will never actually be my best ones#it's the same with bsd but THAT'S a whole other story#that's the phenomenon of everyone reducing bsd to the skk show and not giving the time of day to fics centered around anyone else#do u guys realize there are SO many other INCREDIBLE characters and dynamics????#like i was doing that bsd fic rec event on twt and almost all of the fics recced were skk#meanwhile i was searching for anything NOT skk bc idk other ships and characters deserve appreciation too??#and i don't even read much skk bc it's so hard to find anything that's. like. ACTUALLY good.#anyway. i don't actually care if you read somebody i'm proud of#but i hate that that's like. one of my most popular fics by a longshot#i have stuff that is so much better that people won't even glance at bc it's not tagged with the most popular m/m ship in the fandom#hello grace here
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twitter trend again
y'all know this. it's all over twitter rn.
original post here
#i fuckibg HATE THIS SO MUCH#i don't even know why. it's a nice drawing !!#edit: no it's not#i'm absolutely done with this i don't want to know ANYTHING about it#that's why i'm posting it here! because no one ever sees whatever i post here /pos#vargas#zarla s#vargas zarla#edgar vargas#scriabin vargas#i changed the colors like a hundred times but i still didn't like it#yes i still posted it. i spent days on this to not do it#i fucking hate this i can´t believe it i'm so sad#it's one of those drawings i need to tilt my head to like it#that doesn't make any sense#yes it does#no it actually doesn't#i'm so disappointed#sighhhh#i promise the drawing i'm working on rn is way better than this#did i. already say. that i hate this.#because i do#ugly crying#uwaaaaaaa#i don't even know what i'm writing anymore man#i just want to go to sleep#sunny's art
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I've had a lot of really lovely experiences in this fandom, but I do think one of my favorites has been the amount of people who used to dislike or be ambivalent toward Beje, but who are now quite fond of him just because they've enjoyed spending a lot of time with me. Every time someone tells me that, I know I've got to be doing something right, at least
#legitimately the point of this post is me just musing on how lucky i've gotten with quite a number of my friends#so so so many people willing to play dolls with me and listen to me muse about things and hear how passionate i am#even if they weren't at first necessarily sure about the guy i might ask if i can talk about sometimes#and fuck but i love getting to do that with them too and hear about their favorites and why they write them the way they do#so many characters i wouldn't have cared about nearly as much as i do if we hadn't all jumped in a sandbox together#i still feel like i am very clumsy with making friends and keeping them but moments like that make me feel like i must be getting better#the way i tried to post this but had to listen to the anxiety and go 'no this isn't a post saying that if you don't like him you're wrong'#'or that i think i'm better than anybody because i'm absolutely fucking not'#i promise i am just. really feeling lucky tonight and tender about people who hung in there with me even during really low moments#my ramblings
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