#i can understand why my friends who are a couple of years older than me had things for spike when they were younger

[fazedlight]

Awakening (Kara character study, small part supercorp softness)

“But why can’t I be matched to Tali, mom? She’s my best friend!”

Alura turned to Kara, her jaw tensed with frustration with the stubborn child. “Kara, you know better than this. Stable matching can only be achieved if there is a true bijection between disjoint sets-”

“We don’t even have a true bijection because the population is constantly changing, we don’t sort according to all possible preferences, we don’t even have-” “It is not in our nature, Kara,” Alura said, with a dangerous tone in her voice. “We are not Daxamites.”

“But-” 

“The answer is no.”

---

Kara is thirteen Earth years the first time she’s called “dyke.” She doesn’t know what it means. She had only been to school for a couple of weeks. Before that, the only substantial English she had spoken was the couple months with Eliza, Jeremiah, Alex, and Kal. 

Clark, not Kal. Saying “Kal” would put her baby cousin- her older cousin- her cousin in danger.

Alex’s face flushes, and her eyes almost burn with anger, as she shoves Jake Howell against a locker. Kara could do it easily herself, but showing her newfound strength to humans would put her in danger too, somehow. Kara doesn’t think asshole is a nice word, given how Alex growled it. But she suspects dyke isn’t a nice word either.

That night after dinner, Eliza sighs, and hugs Kara gently - and Kara resolves to never get called dyke again.

---

“She’s gorgeous, she’s smart, she smells nice. Hell, I want to date her.” Kara flushed with discomfort, as the words came unbidden from her lips. But Alex didn’t remark on the odd statement, and Kara shoved the thought away.

Just weeks later, awkwardness would turn to tension as Lucy growled. “You and Hank, why do you all lie?”

“When you are an alien,” Kara choked, “You’re willing to sacrifice anything, everything, betray your fundamental instincts - just to fit in.” Something tugged in Kara’s soul at that moment. That she had always tried to fit in, long before she became an alien. But there simply hadn’t been time to linger.

It was only weeks later, when Lucy was saying her goodbyes before leaving National City to rejoin the military, that Kara felt the uncomfortable spike again. “I do know what it’s like to hide,” Lucy confessed.

Kara tilted her head, questions like why? and what do you mean? floating through her mind. But she thought it would be kinder not to ask. “I hope someday, you can be all that you are.”

Lucy gave a small smile. “Me too.”

---

She hadn’t expected meeting Lena to feel like lightning in her veins. The younger Luthor was quick-witted, and beautiful, and playful. Kara felt herself flush with the gentle teasing during their first coffee, and found herself marveling at never quite having a friendship like this before. 

---

“So… so she’s gay?” Kara asked, the word heavy in her throat. “And are you saying, you’re gay too?”

Alex sighed and paced in front of Kara, her frustration just as apparent as her confusion. How can you not know if you’re gay?, Kara wondered, at the same time feeling strangely allergic to the conversation. Wouldn’t it be obvious? “What’s changed?” Kara asked.

---

Yeah, he was… immature. Irresponsible. But they connected - orphans of a lost planet, who spoke the same tongue, who had the same bewilderment in their first moments on an alien planet with newfound powers. And if being in his bed brought her pleasure, it was only proof of their connection, that a good relationship could come of it.

Sometimes there were those flashes - Mon-El had been confused by Alex’s coming out, not understanding the concept. The more the merrier would ring in Kara’s head, and she’d chase away the image of Lena’s face.

---

“I couldn’t have done it, Kara.”

Kara’s chest heaved as she gazed down at Lena, hearing Kal’s words flash through her mind. Lena clung to Kara’s arm as Kara hovered above the reservoir, and some corner of Kara’s mind knew that she should go land, that the danger was over. That Lena was safe. That the city was safe.

But she could only stare down at Lena, whose heart hammered in her chest, whose panting breaths from her climb had not yet slowed. I almost lost her, Kara thought, forlorn. I couldn’t lose her…

It was that moment that her world came crashing down, that realization made her feel like she was drowning. That romantic love wasn’t merely a combination of friendship and lust. That shared experience didn’t mean a shared connection. There was something that ran deeper.

She was in love with Lena, and she could no longer deny it.

---

It was a drunken movie night, after Lena’s breakup with James, when Kara heard I love you fall from Lena's lips.

“It was always you,” Lena confessed, her words slightly slurred from the alcohol as Kara finished pulling the covers over her. “I just wanted to be close to you.”

Kara stood back, feeling her heart pound as she watched Lena slip into slumber. I wish I had told you, Kara thought, her mind flashing to a moment long ago in a forest. I wish I had told you, before…

Kara spent a fitful night trying to sleep on her couch, and Lena’s eyes flashed with shame the next morning as she woke. But they left for Noonan’s, leaving the conversation behind.

---

It felt impossibly brief, that window of time after Kara had revealed her secret, where everything felt almost right with the world. Maybe someday, she and Lena could finish that conversation.

But she found herself in a kryptonite shell.

The universe ended soon after, and even magic couldn’t fix how they had broken. Until the day Kara finally found her hands in Lena’s, vowing together to take down her brother, and Kara felt again that hopeful wonder of what a future with Lena could hold.

And then she found herself in the Phantom Zone again, the words ringing in her head, I wish I had told you.

---

Sleep had eluded Kara in the weeks back from the Phantom Zone. So she was already wide awake at 2am, when she heard Lena’s heart begin to hammer. 

Kara tensed, rushing to her window and ears tuning in as she prepared to fight off an assassination attempt or catch Lena as she fell.

But as she shot into the sky, she nearly tumbled when she realized that Lena wasn’t in distress. The shaky breaths and small laughs caused Kara’s chest to tighten in anguish. She’s fine, Kara thought, feeling tears prick the edges of her vision. She’s fine. 

---

“Are you okay?” Lena said, when she finally found Kara in the Tower, sitting on a step. “Alex said she couldn’t find you - you were in the Fortress?”

Kara glanced up from the steps. “I just, um. I was reading in the Fortress, I fell asleep there.” It had the benefit of being true. The Fortress was far enough to drown the sound of Lena’s heart out.

Lena shuffled next to Kara, taking a seat. “I don’t remember seeing any beds there.”

“I float in my sleep,” Kara shrugged, staring at her hands as she let silence fall.

Lena shifted, uncomfortable with the quiet. “Are you okay?”

Yeah, Kara almost said, but something stopped her this time. Perhaps it was the poor sleep. Perhaps it was the litany of I wish I had told you that would replay in her mind.

How many more times am I going to do this?, Kara thought. How many more times am I going to carry that regret? “I love you,” Kara said finally, sensing Lena tense up next to her. “I know… I know that door is closed. But I love you. I should’ve told you so long ago.”

“You… you heard me last night,” Lena wondered softly. “So you went to the Fortress?”

Kara grimaced. “I stopped listening as soon as I realized,” Kara said, fighting a panic. Will she be angry? “I never meant to- to invade your privacy. I’ll be more careful.”

“The door isn’t closed,” Lena said. “If you don’t want it to be.”

Those words made Kara brave enough - or maybe just confused enough - to finally tilt her head up to meet Lena’s gaze. “But- last night-”

“I’ve been trying to get over you. Not very successfully,” Lena added, with a wry grin.

“Really?” Kara smiled.

“Really.” 

---

The matching laws had been long dismantled by the time a smiling Alura officiated their marital rites. Kryptonians didn’t have concepts like best man or matron of honor, but that didn’t stop the two women from inviting Alex and Kelly to stand at each of their sides as they said their vows.

Kara never imagined that it’d be a woman’s wrist she’d place her wedding bracelet on. Though she supposed she never imagined marrying on an asteroid of her father’s creation, or marrying for romantic love, or marrying someone her people would call Hero of Argo for the creation of a black rock.

She never imagined finally telling Lena her secret. She never imagined Lena’s forgiveness. She never imagined the feel of Lena’s lips pressed against her own, hands tugging at her robes, as she whispered zhao against Lena’s lips.

And she never imagined being the one to make Lena’s heart race.

[rachetmath]

Family

Ruby: F*** you!

Raven: F*** you!

Yang: F*** you!!

Raven: F*** you!!

Qrow: F*** you!!!

Jaune: Why are they screaming at each other?

Nora: I don’t know. Probably, because Raven abandoned them and is the worst mother ever.

Jaune: Isn’t that your mom then?

Nora: F*** you.

Jaune: Yep. Anyways… Yo!

RYBB: WHAT?!!!

Jaune: Can’t you all talk about this? You know like a family.

RYBB: f-

Jaune: Try me. Try me and see what happens. Understand, you all can be or are on my shit list. I already have my issues with my family. I already talked to Winter about hers. I will humble all of you. 

Raven: Look kid this has-

Jaune: It’s crazy how you know about family but abandoned your kin for a bunch of strangers.

Raven: … 

Jaune: It’s crazy how you’re your daughter's biggest stalker but just like one you can barely have a conversation with her.  And attempt to take her life the moment your views differ from one another.

Raven: … 

Jaune: It’s crazy how you risked your tribe, only to give the relic to your daughter, probably the only present you’ll ever give her out the years of her life. And what’s insane is you did all that because you didn’t want to deal with Salem even though she held your tribe hostage. Speaking of your tribe where are they now?

Raven: *silent*

Jaune: Sit you no leadership, die-hard shogun ass down.

Raven: *sit down*

Qrow: Well damn kid-

Jaune: Bitch I’m older than you now but even before that I was more man than you.

Qrow: Now hold-

Jaune: I will admit you showed up when Tyrian came. However, you want to know why I was pissed and made those assumptions?

Qrow: I mean I saved Ruby and your lives.

Jaune: Yeah. You were watching us from a distance. Good. But you were late. Which means when you were late we encountered Grimm. Now what could cause that?

Qrow: Um…

Jaune: You were drunk.

Qrow: Well-

Jaune: Back to the journey to Mistral and after you could have been more useful in almost every event.

Qrow: Woah kid I was-

Jaune: Dude when you couldn’t find any hunters, you didn’t even bother trying to help any of us improve. When we were trapped in a room with Salem's allies and your sister, your first thought was to stand around, do nothing, and find out.

Qrow: Okay b-

Jaune: Raven kicked your ass. Hazel punched your back out. And the only one you were protecting was Oscar. What happened to Ruby and Yang being your nieces? Speaking of Oscar didn’t you punch him in the face and never apologize for it?

Qrow: That was for Ozpin.

Jaune: In Oscar’s body, don't try to defend this. Suppose a huntsman saw that, would you not be arrested?

Qrow: Okay now that I think about it-

Jaune: Oh, and when Oscar went missing what the f*** were you doing? Getting drunk, again.

Qrow: I was having a hard time.

Jaune: Screw you.

Qrow: Well at least I didn’t endanger my friends.

Jaune: At least I didn’t get one of my friends killed. Like with Clover. Which I will say, great job in letting Tyrian escape. It’s crazy how even sober you are still an idiot. Also, you’re a fraud. Qrow: Well I-

Jaune: Like now there is no comparing us, I’ve been through more shit than you will ever imagine. And I wasn’t given a choice. You were. And that’s misfortunate. Your nieces almost died a couple of times and you weren’t there to help them. I was. God I’m starting to realize why your team is a mess and why, Tai, hates you. You are both a downer and a deadbeat. Pick a struggle.

Qrow: *silent and sits with Raven*

Jaune: *stares at Ruby and Yang*

Yang and Ruby: *sat down immediately*

Jaune: So what are you all going to do?

RYBB: Talk like a family.

Jaune: Good. Now you excuse me I need to write a letter to my mother who I am not on the best of terms, right now. Bye.

Nora: Jaune? Jaune, is there something you want to talk about? I’m openly available.

Jaune: F*** you too, Nora.

Qrow: How long was he on that island?

Ruby: Uncle Qrow, we had our first argument on that island.

Qrow: Oh… s***.

[11rosebunny]

┆彡 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋

Chapter two

HAJIME UMEMIYA X READER

Upon landing his eyes on yours, it took him a few seconds to breathe in again until the guy he came with started marching his way to where you stood with the first-year boys.

"You little SHITS!"

Your eyes widened as you followed the image of a hotheaded male with sharp features and short spiky hair that seemed to be withering away from a shade of blonde.

His shark-like teeth grew wide when a scowl appeared on his face and grabbed Sakura's head with steam coming from his ears. You backed away in shock at the scene before you.

"What the hell I tell you about followin' my orders?!" Spit flew out from his mouth hitting the poor boy's face. Nirei's face bellowed into fear while Sugishita and Suo looked away feeling sweat drop from their foreheads.

"Gross! You're spitting on me again!" The black and white-haired boy shouted back.

You stood there watching the two argue back and forth since nobody else dared to intervene, otherwise if they did, the third-year male would've torn their heads' off.

Then soon after, footsteps approached the table.

"Calm down Hiragi." An easygoing voice spoke over the fight in front of you.

The grey-haired man walked up to where his friend was practically mauling Sakura's face. Then, he placed his hand on the punk's shoulder making him snap at him.

"What?!"

A smile went on his face, "We can deal with them later. You do realize we have a guest with us?"

Hiragi's grip on Sakura loosened as he turned to look at the newcomer, his expression softening slightly. His eyes flickered to you, and for a moment, you caught a glimpse of vulnerability beneath his tough exterior.

The grey-haired man nodded towards you with a friendly smile, his demeanor calming the tense atmosphere. "Let's not ruin our guest's impression of us, Hiragi. We can handle this later."

The four other boys twisted their head's at the sudden tone their older classmate had put on.

"Haah—? What's up with you now?" Sakura nudged at the boy. It was odd seeing how his president acted towards the stranger he didn't know of while the only background noises was the spiky-haired boy yelling at Sugishita. You stood their awkwardly as the grey-haired man spoke to you.

"May I ask who you are? I don't mean to come off as rude. It's just that I haven't seen you around here before." He smiled sweetly catching you off guard at how friendly he was.

The both of you stared at each other taking in your features. He never recalls meeting anyone like you before—never bumped into you on the Main Street, or during weekend days. Generally, the grey-haired boy knew nearly everyone in the town he's grown up in even since he was a middle schooler. So when he comes across somebody he's never bumped into, he's stumped and almost intrigued on who you were.

"[Last name] [First Name]."

You answered after a couple of seconds from silence. You started blinking away, not understanding why he had gotten quiet all of a sudden. Had you said something off?

But then, the weirdest thing happened. He laughed.

"Wh—"

"That's amazing! I've never met you before can you believe it?!" His hand reached to the top of your head. Was he, patting it?

From the sidelines, Nirei sweat dropped before mumbling to himself, "Well obviously. Isn't this their first interaction?" He whispered to Suo. The other boy nodded finding the older man's response a bit stupid.

Instantly, your hands flayed around in the air, feeling nervous that a random man you've never met began to pat your head continuously. "Uhhh."

Shortly after, he let out a sigh and removed his hand. Your face was now startled as you looked back at him with an unsure smile. He was acting way too easygoing than anyone you've ever encountered before (although not many).

"Anyways, what brings you here? I can see that the younger ones are already aware of you." He asked as the spiky-haired male in the background finally stopped arguing with Sugishita.

"I found Kyotaro unconscious in an alleyway?" You answered a little quiet. All 6 of them stopped speaking.

"Ah."

"Haah?"

"Oh?"

"WHAT?!"

The reactions of each of them progressively got worse. Then once again, the man began to go right back to arguing with Sugishita who this time began to scowl and look away in embarrassment. Then, the man before you began to laugh again.

Your head swung to look at him but in a flash he put his hands on your shoulders and began to guide you away from the scene.

"Ahah, I think we should go now yes?"

It wasn't an awkward walk back down than you thought it might have been. You were able to read the room and silently agreed it was also better if you'd leave in that moment. You continued walking behind him as you lead you to the exit of the school, he was humming an unknown song while he was at it.

"You don't speak much [Name]." He said out loud randomly as you two were now on the bottom floor.

"I don't?"

He chuckled, "You sure do, nothing bad about that though." He shoved his hands in his pockets. Although you couldn't see his face, you could tell by the way he spoke it sounded like he was grinning. Then, he turned his head to look at you.

"But..."

"You haven't even asked for my name." He concluded with a curious smile.

By now, you two were finally at the doors to the outside, but before you could step out, you jumped when you realized what he said was true.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! What's your name?" You panicked. He snickered finding the way your face went in shock to be amusing.

He opened to door for you to walk out first then shortly walked closer to you causing the door to close.

"Hajime Umemiya."

Chapter three

[lilghostiequinni]

Before

Main Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: Verstappen!female oc x Lando Norris

Warnings: None really, Fluffy(to me)

Part Summary: Before the people suspect anything, it was really what they wanted more than anything else. Wanted when life wasn't busy for either of them. Because when they first met their lives were hectic, but at least they had gotten each other out of it.

Prologue of the Wasn't Always series; prev. part & next part

Requested: NO / yes

A/N: This is essentially the prologue to the actual series and can be read as a stand-alone. There is no need to read this to understand the series.

2019 Australian Grand Prix

"Oscar, I can't be here. I'm supposed to be getting ready to leave." Kaarina said to her best friend as he basically begged her to go with him to the 2019 Australian Grand Prix.

"Come on. Please, Mom says if you go, I can." Oscar tries to convince her.

"No, she didn't. Your mom wouldn't care 'cause she knows where you are if you did go and if anything, she would be worried about you getting in the suitcase of a driver." Kaarina says with a look of suspicion on her face as she analyzes the younger boy.

"Please, you don't have to leave until Monday; it's only Friday," Oscar begged even more, and for the first showing her the passes he had gotten.

Kaarina looked at the passes and then at the excited Aussie, "Max put you up to this, didn't he?"

Oscar froze and that was all the answer that Kaarina needed as she nodded.

"Of course, he gave you passes on the condition of getting me there." It wasn't a question, but Oscar nodded.

"Fine, which team are you supporting? I'll play fake girlfriend for your real girlfriend because Max definitely only gave you two passes." Kaarina told as Lily walked into the room.

Oscar's eyes got wide as he realized the truth of the matter: he only had two passes, and Max didn't give him a third.

Lily chuckled, just hearing the end of what Kaarina said and then the look in her boyfriend's eyes and the apologetic look he got when he saw her.

"It's okay; Kaarina will take care of you; she does it any other time. I don't want to go, but you do." Lily says as she kisses Oscar's cheek and lets out a relieved sigh.

Kaarina chuckles at the two; while she is a couple years older than both of them, she is still really good friends with the two as she and Oscar met when she lived in Australia because their parents knew each other.

"You know, sometimes, I feel that it's not my best friend and my girlfriend, but my girlfriend and my girlfriend's girlfriend," Oscar says as he looks at the two in front of him.

The two just chuckle at him, making Oscar roll his eyes.

"Which team are we supporting, you teit?" Kaarina asks between the chuckles and giggles.

"McLaren." Oscar dead-pans as he looks between the two, and Kaarina nods.

Kaarina went to change out of the comfy clothes she had on just as Lily started speaking, "You know that is basically your girlfriend when I'm not around, to make sure everyone knows you're taken and mine."

"I am, but there is no need for that." Oscar points out.

"Nope, you can't convince me otherwise. Rina is the stand-in girlfriend when I'm not around. Just know that it's the same when you aren't around when we go shopping." Lily tells him before following Kaarina, and Oscar just looks after his girlfriend in confusion.

"So what was it my brother told you that you agreed to force me along to the race? Because I know it wasn't just the passes," Kaarina says as she walks next to Oscar in the paddock area, making their way around.

"He told me I could support any team; it didn't have to be Red Bull," Oscar said, then he looked over to his best friend, who had a very unimpressed look on her face, knowing that it was more than just that. "He also said he would get me to the next three races I was at, no matter how short the notice."

Kaarina just rolled her eyes.

"I still think you should have changed before we left," Oscar states.

"Why? What's wrong with my outfit? You said, McLaren," Kaarina says as she looks down at her outfit.

"Yes, but did you really have to put on the Max Verstappen Air Forces?" Oscar points out, looking at her shoes.

"Hey, I will support McLaren, but also my brother," Kaarina says as she pokes Oscar in the arm.

"Isn't Carlos McLaren?" Oscar asks her, even though he knows the answer.

"Yes, my cousin is in McLaren, and he understands; also, I am supporting him," Kaarina pulls up her sleeve and shows the beaded bracelets that she has either stolen or gotten from her brother and cousins to hold and just never given them back.

"Did you steal all of those?" Oscar accuses as they get nearer to the McLaren paddock which has the Red Bull paddock rather close.

"No, the three gave me a couple and just never asked for them back. Also, I bought like three," Kaarina answers a little defensively.

Oscar just shakes his head at her as he sees Max waiting rather close to McLaren for what is assumed as his sister.

"Wait here?" Kaarina asks as she sees her brother; Oscar nods and waits for Kaarina to get done talking to her brother.

"How come he can get you to come but not me?" Max questions as he catches his sister in a hug.

"Because he was bribed and really wanted to come, and no one else really did. Also, he can be very convincing when he wants to be," Kaarina says to her brother as she pulls away from him.

Max nods and then looks at his sister's outfit.

"You told him any team, and he chose McLaren. But I am supporting you," Kaarina said when she saw the expression that briefly crossed his face and then showed him her shoes.

Max chuckled at her again and just kissed her forehead as he saw his engineer wave him over, "See you later?"

"Yeah, I'll be here," Kaarina said, wishing he brother luck with a kiss on the cheek before returning to Oscar, who was joined by Carlos.

"Carlos," Kaarina acknowledges him and gives him a hug.

"Ah, McLaren today, yes?" He says, seeing the outfit she was wearing.

"Don't let the sweater fool you, Carlos; she has 33 Verstappen shoes on," Oscar points out to the Spaniard.

"That is okay, no one really looks at shoes," Carlos counters, making the blonde chuckle at her cousin.

Oscar rolls his eyes as he sees something making the Australian walk away from the two with a little pat on the shoulder to Kaarina as he walks that way.

"So, how's the new teammate?" Kaarina asks her cousin as she watches the Piastri boy walk off.

"So far, he has potential," Carlos says with a thoughtful expression.

Kaarina nods, she sees Carlos being waved to and points it out to him.

"Come," Carlos simply says as he makes his way over to the waving person.

"Lando, this is Kaarina Verstappen, Kaarina this is Lando Norris, the new driver," Carlos introduces the two.

"Like Max Verstappen?" Is all Lando can come up with and is cursing himself out in his head, 'That's it "like Max" really Norris.'

"Exactly, I'm his half-sister. We have different mothers," Kaarina tells him, as she holds her hand out to the newest driver.

Lando takes her hand and shakes it as Carlos starts talking again. After the two let go, Lando still doesn't let go of her hand.

"Don't you two share a birthday?" Carlos asked, but it was as though he just randomly, as the quiet settled in between the three, breaking the eye contract which was held by the younger two.

"We do?" Kaarina questioned, a puzzled look crossing her face as she looked away from Lando to her cousin.

Lando also looked away from the woman to Carlos, "What do you mean?"

"You were both born on November 13th, no?" Carlos asks, looking at the two, having no idea that they were not paying attention to what he was previously saying to them as they walked to and partially through the McLaren garage.

"Really? You were born on November 13th?" Kaarina asked with a smile spreading across her face as she watched Lando.

"Yeah, 1999," Lando says as Kaarina's smile gets bigger, making the British man smile, too, as he blushes at seeing the woman smile.

"Me too! Birthday buddies," Kaarina smiles even wider.

Lando smiles at her smiling face as Carlos closely watches to two who seem to have a staring problem.

"Oh, um... Carlos, Lando, I have to go. Time to see the other cousin, but I will be back," Kaarina kisses Carlos's cheek and gives Lando a side hug as she walks out of the McLaren paddock to the Ferrari one.

"You know she didn't have a boyfriend last I knew, but I would check with her friend, Oscar, or her brother, Max. But I guess you just have to ask," Carlos pats Lando on the back before going over to some fans he saw.

Leaving Lando alone to his thoughts.

Kaarina sat with Oscar as she watched the race, as always rooting for her brother or cousins, but now also rooting for the newcomer Lando Norris.

Her mind was distracted by the color of his eyes and the beauty of his smile. He just wouldn't leave her brain or thoughts.

A classic, he fell first and she fell harder.

Again, this, too, was mostly done before I accidentally posted it, twice. I'm just going to accept that I don't like how I end my posts because I'm not entirely happy with it, but I also think it makes sense for how I wanted it to go and how I want the series to go, but this doesn't need to be read to understand the full relationship in the series.

Tags: @samantha-chicago @hellothere9597

If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you.

[invisibleicewands]

Bringing revolution to Port Talbot - by Michael Sheen

On a recent February morning, I woke up to find I was wrong. Not a particularly uncommon experience in itself, but unusual to discover that on this occasion I was being publicly accused of it by the Secretary of State for Business and Trade. “Michael Sheen has said that ‘the people of Port Talbot have been let down’,” Kemi Badenoch wrote in the Daily Mail. “But he is wrong.”

It was a big day. I spent all of last year directing a three-part drama series for the BBC called The Way, which was to air that night. It begins in my hometown of Port Talbot, where a strike at the local steelworks becomes the spark that ignites a violent descent into national chaos. Clearly, Ms Badenoch had been given a sneak peek of the series before forming quite a strong opinion on it. But no: reading her article, Ms Badenoch admits that she hadn’t watched it at all. Why let a total lack of information prevent a full-throated denouncement, eh? Presumably, she also assumes that we managed to write, film and edit the entire series after Tata Steel announced the imminent loss of some 2,500 jobs at the steelworks mere weeks ago.

While the winds of change have only been blowing in one direction for many years, the events in our story were dreamed up some years ago and act as a fictional catalyst for all that follows. Surely even Tory ministers understand there is no VIP fast lane for making a TV series. This isn’t a PPE contract, after all…

Nothing to see here

After that episode aired, it occurred to me that such shenanigans in the right-wing press could have been about a couple of things. Since the ITV drama about the Post Office scandal, Mr Bates vs The Post Office, caused public outrage, I imagine the government has a new fear of the impact a TV show can have. A pre-emptive strike against a series it perceives to be criticising its actions around the steel industry must have seemed a useful tactic. And, having seen Breathtaking – based on Rachel Clarke’s memoir of how the Covid crisis unfolded in the NHS, which aired on ITV the same night as The Way – I wonder if her piece was an attempt to distract attention away from more dangerous territory.

It gave Ms Badenoch a chance to trot out her line about how the people of Port Talbot should be grateful for all that the government is doing to save the steel industry, not moaning about the impact job losses will have on their community. But the people of Port Talbot have been let down, no matter what Ms Badenoch wants us to think. Not by any single entity, but by years of neglect. That she immediately assumed my comments referred to her and her government tells its own story. In the words of a much older drama than mine: the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Then and Nye

“This crisis is a privateering racket with your friends lining their pockets!” No, not an accusation against Boris Johnson, but something I currently say to Winston Churchill every night. We opened a new play called Nye at the National Theatre this week. I play Aneurin (“Nye”) Bevan, who attacks the prime minister for turning a wartime crisis into a money-making scheme for him and his cronies. It’s one of many moments in the play that seem to speak to past and present at the same time.

The entanglement of “now” and “then” is heightened by the fact that I am wearing pyjamas. Nye is lying unconscious in his hospital bed at the end of his life, and we follow him through a dream of his past. He wanders from childhood memories of overcoming his stutter in Tredegar library to his meteoric rise through local politics, to becoming the youngest member of Clement Attlee’s pioneering postwar cabinet. And, of course, as minister for health, his tumultuous birthing of the NHS on 5 July 1948. It’s an extraordinary, surprising and moving experience telling this story on stage each night. That shared space between actors and audience, where all is felt but unseen, crackles with electricity.

Once more, with feeling

It seems that exploring the motives of politicians, the uses and abuses of political power, and the quest for justice that saw the creation of the NHS taps into deep wells of emotion. Like the pockets of gas that miners feared within the coal seam, their release brings risk and reward. At a recent show, we had three instances of people needing to be helped out of the theatre, the final one forcing us to pause the show moments from its end. Thankfully, it was nothing more serious than someone fainting. But emotions are running high.

I’m more than happy to invite Ms Badenoch to a performance. But I realise, of course, there’s no guarantee she would make it to the end.

[theblackestswan]

Silent Desires | #3

Synopsis — There was a time when you pondered how you'd ever let it be known how much you desired Jungkook. But now? He's back. And he's not being silent with his desires anymore.

• Jungkook × F!Reader

• Brothers best friend, childhood friends to somewhat strangers to lovers, smut, fluff, and a bit of angst

• explicit language

• word count: 1.4k+

previous chapter

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The smell of coffee swarmed your nose.

Seven am. Time to wake up.

"Another day, another dollar." You needed that dollar more than anything. It was the dreaded Monday morning, and you honestly thought about calling in sick, telling Jimin to tell Jungkook to not stop by, and just pretend like this never happened.

But you couldn't. You needed money.

You got up and headed for the shower. After you were done, you went to your closet and picked out your outfit. Thankfully, your work was very chill in terms of how you get to express yourself. You decided to go for a pair of black leggings, a graphic band tee, and your favorite Converse. You couldn't be bothered to do much to your hair so you threw it up in a messy bun.

You grabbed your phone, and your bag and headed to the kitchen.

Breakfast was not your thing. Never has been, never will be. So you settled on a couple granola bars, and a cup of coffee. It was now about 7:45am, and you knew Jungkook would be here at 8.

"Good morning my beautiful sister." Jimin grabbed himself his own cup of coffee and sat down next to you. "How you feel this morning?"

That's a great question. You didn't even have an answer for yourself. "I'm alright. Not pleased that Kook has to take me to work, but, here I am."

Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes "Y/N, it's okay. Trust me, he wouldn't have offered if he didn't want to."

But why does he want to? Why did he suddenly want to move closer to 'you guys'? Why does he suddenly want to be the Knight in shining armor in every situation?

"I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, I'm just confused I guess." Which is true. You were so confused.

"Confused about what?"

"Confused as to why he is doing all of this for me, I'm not his friend. You are, Chim. Not me." You tried to say this as softly as you could. You never talked to Jimin about how you felt towards his friendship with Jungkook.

You weren't mad at Jimin. At one point, yes, you were. But now? No. Jungkook and Jimin are best friends. They were made for each other. At one point you thought they could be romantic soulmates even. That was squashed when you overheard them talking about the head they had got in the bathroom of a club but...they have a friendship like no other.

But, you'd be lying if you said that having Jungkook here, brought back up all those feelings you once had. The feeling of being friends with Jungkook first, and him just disposing of you for your cool, older brother. Again, you weren't mad at Jimin. But why did it take Jungkook, all these years to suddenly want to start being friendly with you. He had the time before.

"Y/N, Jungkook was your friend first. And sure, maybe him and I hit it off even more, but maybe, with him being back down here, he wants to pick up your guy's friendship again. Just let it happen. He's a good guy who wants to help."

Jimin's right. He is a good guy, who obviously wants to help. But why? No one seems to be able to answer that.

Before you can dive more into the thought, your doorbell rang and it's surely no other than Jeon Jungkook.

"Hey man! How's your morning?" Jimin greeted him as he let him in.

"Going pretty good, and you?" Jungkook didn't take off his jacket or shoes, you guys will be leaving soon anyways, so no need.

"Just fighting with that one," Jimin motioned his head towards you in the kitchen, "about you. But, it is what it is." He smiled.

"What about me?" Jungkook was curious now.

"Well, she just doesn't understand what you're motive is for doing all this for her. Helping with her car, and taking her to work. She says that your my friend, and not hers." He shrugged.

Jungkook just nodded as he stared at the floor, "I see. I'll talk to her about it." He flashed your brother a soft smile.

You looked through your bag one more time to make sure you had everything. "Ready if you are."

Jungkook let out a small smirk, barely noticeable, "I'm more than ready."

~•~

Why couldn't you have picked a job closer to home? You were sure you were gonna pull your hair out of your scalp. There was so much tension in this car. You could feel it.

It was like both of you wanted to say something, but neither of you could find the words. The low sound of the music wasn't doing anything for you guys. This felt awkward. This felt weird.

Was there any oxygen in here?

Just as you were trying to figure out whether you hated the the man in the seat next you to, or you wanted to fuck him, he spoke.

"Y/N, I want you to know I'm doing all this for you because I care. No one is forcing me. So, please stop thinking that."

Fucking Jimin and his big mouth. Of course he told Jungkook.

All you could do was sigh. "Look, I'm grateful you're doing all this. So grateful. And I know I'm being a brat right now, but I can't figure you out. You are my brothers friend, not-"

"Stop saying that. I hate when you say that." His grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"Stop saying what Jungkook? The truth? You haven't spoken to me besides a few Facebook comments here and there, over the last 5 years. But you talked to Jimin every single day. You hang out with him almost every single weekend. And now you decide you want to come back down here and be friends with me again?" You were trying to not get too riled up seeing as you have to go to work soon.

Jungkook let out a deep breath he didn't even know he was holding in. "Y/N, it wasn't like that. Trust me, I had a reason for distancing myself. And you have every right to be mad at me. I shouldn't have just left you like you didn't matter to me, but trust me when I say, I always asked your brother about you. I always asked how you were doing, I always asked to see pictures of you, when you didn't post much online, I texted your brother to ask if you were okay. I care Y/N. Even if you can't see it, and damnit I didn't do a very good job at showing you, but I care."

You don't think you've ever seen Jungkook this vulnerable. He looked like he was about to cry, honestly. That softened your heart. You knew you shouldn't have been mad at him.

If you're being truthful with yourself, you too could also blame yourself. The phone goes both ways. Conversations involve two people. Yeah, him being better friends with Jimin, may have been the start of your divide, but you could have easily reached out too.

You could have asked Jimin to take you with to see him. You could have asked Jimin for his number, so you could send him a 'How are you?' text every once in a while. But you didn't.

And neither did he. But at least he asked about you. Did you ever ask your brother about Jungkook? No. Not once. You'd ask if they had a good time as they hung out, but nothing about him directly.

You were just as big of an idiot as he was, in all of this. Maybe even more so.

"Kook... I'm sorry." You couldn't even look at him right now. "I didn't know all of that. I'm sure you had your reasons for distancing, and that's none of my business, but I'm just as much to blame. I didn't try for our friendship just as much, actually... even less than you. At least, you asked about me, right?" You lightly chuckled.

Finally, turning his head to you as you were at a stop light, he gave you a soft smile. "Don't blame yourself. This was all me."

It wasn't. It truly wasn't.

"Kook, I think this should just be water under the bridge. If you're not mad, I'm not mad."

With an even bigger bunny smile, "I could never be mad at you."

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Taglist: @darkuni63

A note from our sponsor: Hiiiii *crickets* okay I know I said I would be updating frequently… but school has been crazy, and then the holidays and yeahhhh. But I’m going to try and get you guys caught up to Wattpad. Enjoy friends!!!

[boyfiejay]

Soulmate AU

PAIRING : Jungwon x gn Reader

GENRE : soulmates, fated to be

Warning : reader has mixed feeling about this soulmate thing, they go to different schools, jungwon is a gentleman, reader is whipped for him, mention of a cut on readers wrist (not SH), swearing like once

Word Count : 1.3k (how tf😧)

Author's Note : pinterest pushed me to write this, like i saw that bracelet photo and i had to write this. Why do my periods have to hurt me so bad, im going to kms😂

Sunoo Version

You've always felt like an outsider, so different from people around you. You were constantly surrounded by couples, soulmates to be exact. To be honest, you found the idea of soulmates a little bit too much, too controlling as to how you had spend your life with someone you've just met.

But there was still comfort in that thought, as controlling this whole thing sounded, it still was a reassurance that there is a person who is so much suited for you that they can be called your soulmate. That no matter what at the end of the day, that person understood you better than anyone else, even if they've known you for mere hours.

So really do you find these soulmates? Everyone is given a bracelet with a distinct charm on it at the young age of 10. These charms are supposed to link together when you meet them, they're stuck together for as long as the charm wants.

And although your charm was pretty looking, it still got stuck in inconvenient things. Your wrists turning red at the harsh metal. It looked pretty but was a bit too uncomfortable.

Although the thought of soulmates made you feel giddy, couples were insufferable in your early years of high school, constantly reminding you what you did not have. Or what you did not find.

But as you grew older, your excitement about finding your soulmate grew less and less. Many people found their soulmates at the beginning of high school, some even in middle school. Your parents found each other when they were 15, your older brother found his soulmate when he was 16. And at the age of 18, you felt everyone look down on you with pity.

And whatever hope you had, had started to diminish as you were now in your last year of high school. Just a year away from graduation, everyone around you was constantly worried about whether you would find your 'meant-to-be' or not.

Finding your soulmate way later in life wasn't unheard of, but the chances of finding that person becomes really low the older you get.

And so your parents decided for you that you should meet new people, hangout more often because apparently the reason you haven't found your soulmate is because you don't socialise. Which is understandable, considering you only have a set of friends that you interact with.

Thankfully, you did not have any problem with making friends. But sticked to the few you trusted, well because everyone at your school is either a crackhead, doesn't understand boundaries or just so much drama. So you happily agreed to going our more often when your parents mentioned.

But what was annoying was that you were being dragged to a different school's yearly festivals. Well not really annoying, now that you were promised a treat from your friends.

Someone in the group, you failed to notice who, had mentioned that you all should split in groups and explore whatever you wanted, since everyone wanted to do a different thing. And initially you had two of your friends with you, but after a while of mindlessly strolling you realised that you were alone, your friends vanishing, leaving you with a cat plushie you won.

You wandered around, looking around to find your friends as well as looking for something interesting to waste your money on.

You spotted someone wearing an orange beret, similar to what your friend had worn in the morning. Unfortunately the person was slowly going out of your line of sight and merging into the crowd. You had to move quickly and soon enough you were trying to push past a bunch of people.

You broke into a small jog, the person finally in your line of sight. But just then you felt a harsh tug on your wrist, it definitely wasn't someones hand that was gripping yours.

It didn't take you long to realise what the tug was, you slowly turned, hoping that your bracelet didn't get stuck in some random person's sleeve.

As you turned, you were met with wide worried eyes that were scanning your wrist. Your eyes moved down, still internally hoping, and the sight that you had dreamed numerous times was in front of you. In that moment, you just felt this strong urge to cry, no one in your life could understand the times you had felt alone while everyone around you just seemed so happy.

And no matter how much you try to gaslight yourself, you had desperately wanted to meet your soulmate. Everyone described it like such an enchanting moment, your mom said it felt like sparks were flying, you would feel that you've known this person your whole life.

But right now, the person in front of you seemed so unfazed about the fact that he had just found his soulmate. Rather he was focused on the fact that your wrist was bright red, it burned due to the harsh tug and there was a small cut that he hasn't seen yet.

"Are you okay?" he said, finally meeting your eyes, his own searching for any pain on your face. Surely you felt enchanted, not only because this was your soulmate, but also because he was the epitome of 'handsome yet cute'.

He tilted his eyes, confused at you blankly staring. No scratch that, he was cute as fuck.

Snapping out of the trance he had put on you, you say "Yeah, I'm fine." your whole face was burning up at his intense staring. You were surprised you managed to sound normal.

"I don't think this is gonna let go any time soon." he said, talking about the charms. "Do you mind if we hung out together? Consider this our first date. My name is Jungwon." he said, gently smiling, dimples appearing on his cheeks. God he was too cute.

Clearing your throat, you managed to nod and return his smile, your eyes still staring at his dimples.

He looked behind his to tell his friends to go on without him, you just realised that there were around half a dozen people behind his that were just staring at you, trying to bore holes into you. A couple of them had a teasing smile when you looked at them, two of them covering their wide open mouths. Only one person seemed laid back and he motioned Jungwon to go on, dragging the others away with him.

Jungeon looked back at you after making sure his friends weren't fooling around or staring at you, "Let's go?" he said still smiling. You felt like you were going to combust.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know each other, Jungwon surprisingly being a very easy person to talk to. You both opened up about how you two were the only people in your respective friend groups who were soulmate-less, "Well, not anymore." was his reply, with a cheeky grin, avoiding your eyes.

And despite how respective he was, he was also flirty. Like not flirty in a creepy way, he was still respectful of your boundaries but he had some kind of charm that just made you flush bright red. Or maybe you were just whipped for him, despite knowing him for such a small time.

With red cheeks and shy waves, and a promise to meet again, the date had ended.

You could finally understand why people could write whole books just about their soulmates, you felt such a deep sense of endearment when you looked at him. You finally understood why your friends were so whipped for their soulmates, constantly yapping about them.

Your friends were surely going to hear an earful for leaving you alone, but you had a feeling that you were going to talk way more about Jungwon.

[drdemonprince]

I was talking to some relatives about our comparative sensitivities to substances. As a young person, I had the classic Autistic hyper-sensitivity to drugs. Two beers could knock me out. Anything past that was disgusting to me; at Ohio State I was constantly hiding half-drunk solo cups of Natty Light on bookshelves and in basements because I couldn't keep up with anyone else. I had no taste for weed or anything harder because I hated how tired it made me feel. At the same time, I always remained lucid on substances. I was always the person who could snap into practical, problem-solving thinking and put on a sober face if a member of my party got in trouble for pissing in the street or started fighting or ran afoul of the cops.

growing up, my friends were always trying to get fucked up so they could escape their brains and their realities, and then falling into huge problems because they'd done so. they'd get drunk and piss themselves. drive drunk home. fall in love with some dude on cocaine ten years older than them and then have to bust open a garage window with their fist when he was freaking out threatening himself. they'd blow out their caffeine receptors on weird drug store cold medicine and not be able to drink coffee for years. they'd drag themselves hung over to work or have to run a 5k still stoned. i didnt understand why they'd be so irrational. i was always the person sitting on the floor, a little tired but fine, watching them wrestle eachother drunkenly or cry when they'd started taking whatever drug it was to make themselves feel good. i didn't understand why someone would choose to weaken themselves and make themselves feel even worse. but nothing ever really felt good to me. i was just a flat line.

My sensitivity has changed thanks to testosterone, specifically because of muscle growth. I can throw back a number of drinks that startles me now, and feel almost nothing. A few months back a friend was being very generous with the boozy slushies at Sidetrack and the shots. I don't know how many I had. But more than I'd had to drink in many, many years at least. Which is probably still a small-seeming number to the real professionals, maybe something like 6 or 7 drinks total. But I felt completely fine, nothing past a little silly. I ate a taco on the curb, sipped some water, and then I was fine.

My sister is barely feels substances at all. She can't tell when pain medications work. In college, during a spat with a sorority "little" of hers who began to stalk her, she spent every afternoon at the bar downing shots from a shot-club list in exchange for a t-shirt, and it didn't affect her. She hates food and eats very little because of probably ARFID, but she will drink just about anything, and can do so in abundance if she wants to. But she rarely wants to, because it doesn't make her feel any more fucked up than a couple of cocktails. She smoked weed and took edibles sporadically for years without them ever kicking in or doing anything to her.

I am reminded of that story I read about the guy with really high social anxiety whom the CIA gave like ten tabs of acid, as part of some fucked up experiment, and he remained completely lucid, polite, present, and normal-seeming the entire time. Because he was just such a fucking tight-assed neurotic person that he couldn't let go of his iron-tight grip on reality. After his 12th acid tab, he got a little bit sleepy and went off to bed, or something like that. (If someone remembers this story and can find a link, send it to me!).

I don't know that I'd be the same, I've never tried, acid, but I imagine that it would play out something like that. I'd clench my firsts tight onto reality and keep masking as normal until I reached the absolute fucking brink of my ability to cope, and then I wouldn't enjoy the high, i'd just be so fucked up that I needed to go lie down. Mushrooms didn't affect me much, either.

I can't seem to escape my constant neurotic rumination and compulsive need to attend to the reactions of others and modulate myself. I wish I could let loose, but then again, when a person says they want one thing and they behave in a completely different way, trust the behavior. Clearly I don't want to lose control. I'm obsessed with maintaining my perspective. The one time I got properly zooted high at Nowadays in New York I nearly lost my phone, and I don't want to risk anything like that again. Anxiety is such a protective thing. we evolved to survive not to be happy. and all told i'm pretty good at keeping shit together, looking after myself, looking after others, and not fucking things up. my anxiety and rigidity has spared my ass a whole lot of problems, saved me a lot of money, helped my career, helped me escape arrest. i wish i could relax once in a fucking while but also i dont. im in love with what a tight ass sharp edged tense little bitch i can be. i dont know who the alternative version of me even would be. if i were to let properly loose and get sloppy it would feel like some abdication of duty, because I know that I *can* keep it together no matter what, and it seems so many people can't.

[wardenparker]

In the Still of the Night, ch 3

Zach Wellison x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Grown up and looking to the future, Zach Wellison and bunkmate Shane Morrissey are working for a new cruise line that offers its guests a vintage Vegas experience on the Mediterranean. The romantic atmosphere is rubbing off on many of the crew members, and Zach finds himself to be no exception when he meets the beautiful lead singer of Shane's band.

But being wrapped in the seductive arms of an atmospheric cruise is a far cry from real life. How will their relationship fare on dry land? They can't know unless they try.

Rating: E for Explicit 18+ Word Count: 8.8k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this story include: Cursing, alcohol, food, cooking, eating, discussion of clothing/costumes. Mentions of prison time served, mentions of past homelessness.* Flirting, still a little awkwardness, blindfold, sensory deprivation, foreplay, oral sex (female receiving). Summary: Your day out with Zach gets more intense at every turn. Notes: Hopefully you're all enjoying the prolonged date as much as we -- and they -- are! (As always, chapter gifs are for the vibes, not to physically describe the characters.)

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2

It isn't hard for anyone who sees you during the rest of the day to spot the dreamy couple out on a date. The older woman who shows you to your table at the restaurant Zach picked out for dinner gives you a wink in agreement that he's an absolute cutie pie and comes back a few minutes later with two glasses of wine and a candle for your table despite none of the others having one set out.

He had chosen a restaurant that was more local than tourist and had been thrilled when there was no formal dress code. Eager to sit down with you after so much walking and talk about more of anything and everything that has been the topics of the day. “So how did you start out singing?” He asks curiously.

“My elementary school had a chorus.” It might be the first time in hours you haven’t been holding hands, but you’re still smiling as you sit side by side with your wine watching the sun set. “I stuck with it because I was a kid and it was fun, then the dance lessons got added, and then as I got older I realized that I also liked theater. It became a combination.”

“So you were a theatre kid.” He nods in understanding. He hadn’t been, but he had been friends with some and understood the passion of performing even if he didn’t have it.

“That’s how I ended up in New York.” You tell him, expression twisting into something like regret. “Just another small town kid convinced they could be the next Broadway star. Obviously that didn’t happen.”

“But you tried.” He reminds you, leaning against your shoulder and wishing he could take away the sadness. “Some people never try.”

“I go between thinking that maybe I should have tried harder, and wondering why I ever bothered at all.” With that offer of support there, you lean against his shoulder in turn and shrug gently. “It is what it is, I guess. But…how did you start cooking?”

Zach sighs softly, knowing that it would eventually come up. “Actually, I just started cooking a few years ago.” He admits.

“You did?” That surprises you enough to turn your head and look at him more fully. “So it’s just at natural talent, then?”

“I guess?” He shrugs slightly. “I got a job working in a kitchen. Saved my life.” He tells you. “Threw myself into it and experimented as much as I could and read everything I could get my hands on.”

“So you stumbled into your calling.” There is something else there, something he doesn’t want to tell you, so you don’t push. “That’s wonderful, though. Some people never find what they’re meant to do in their whole lives.”

“It helps with my anxiety.” He admits with a self deprecating grin. “So I decided that it was the best thing for me. One day I’d like to have a restaurant. One that I can plan every detail, down to free meals for the homeless.”

“I love that.” Without hesitation, the idea is not only a kind one but one you can tell means a great deal to him. “Some places have a system where you can pay for meals for others in advance, too. System like that can be used to pay for extra supplies so no one ever has to be turned away.”

“That would be amazing.” He’s had benefited from that kind of system before, but not often. And he knows how uplifting a good, hot meal can be when you are down.

"You can make it happen." Something in your gut tells you that he can and he will, and even though you have no stake in it, you can't help but feel proud of him for that.

“I’m hoping.” He flashes you a grateful grin. Even your confidence in him sounds so sure when he’s always wondered if he can succeed. “The club on the ship has given me so many ideas.”

"I've been eating your ideas," you remind him with a grin. "And they're fantastic. You're really good, Zach. Any place would be lucky to have you and any team would be lucky to have you lead them."

“What about you?” He asks. “This has to be a stepping stone for you. I’ve already heard from the crew that you might have some head hunters after you.” One of the passengers was apparently connected in the music industry and had been in to the club several nights.

"If I do, that's news to me." Whatever murmurings Zach has heard, you haven't. But you would be lying if you claimed not to be curious. "I don't know, honestly. I think I would rather be a headliner in a little club than wave a rose in a Broadway chorus for the rest of my life. But the chances of either are relatively slim." You take a sip of your wine and offer him a smile, shrugging one shoulder. "In my dreams I'm getting top billing in the biggest musicals and you're running the most popular restaurant in the country. Ultimate New York City power couple."

“That sounds amazing.” Zach chuckles. “Actually, running this style club, I think it would work in New York.” He tells you. “A dinner club.”

"I know it's something that you see in retirement communities in Florida, but I have always loved dinner theater." His laugh is sweet and deep and rolls through you like a wave of joy. "This club is such a great gig for people like us."

“Yes it is, but imagine….” He sighs softly. “Creating a headliner show like you would see in Vegas, right in New York and pairing it with a daily changing menu like we do here.”

"New York would love a show like that." It sounds so doable when he says it. Like a dream you could reach for and pluck out of the sky.

“It would be sold out.” He agrees, flashing a hopeful smile. “One day, maybe if I had the right singer to run the show side of things.”

"I guess you're going to have to get to know some singers then, aren't you?" His bright smile is reflected right back at him, teasing as always but it's because part of you can't dare to dream this big for yourself. Only for him.

“I will.” He nods and shrugs. “Maybe hold auditions or something. Singing for your supper?”

"That's what most of us do." You agree, not wanting your smile to flicker at all even if the memories sting. "Sometimes literally."

Zach catches the change, the dimming of the light in your eyes and he knows that he’s touched on a sensitive topic for you. “I get it.” He promises quietly. “I think I gravitated towards cooking because I knew if I was making food for others, I would not have that gnawing ache of hunger ever again.” He licks his lips. “Food insecurity, the therapist called it.”

Your heart sinks, chest tightening, and you nod as you slip your hand back into his. "I wish I was more surprised to find out that more than a few of us have been there. But a job like ours...with guaranteed housing and meals and a way to save money for months at a time? It makes sense that it would attract people who have had it hard."

Of course you would be understanding. His eyes close as he nods, feeling a little choked up by the compassion in your voice and the understanding in your touch. “Absolutely. And I hate that you’ve had a moments bad luck.” He murmurs. “You deserve so much.”

"So do you." You squeeze his hand gently. "Bad luck doesn't make us bad people."

“Not at all.” His hand slips from yours and his arm wraps around your shoulders protectively. “Now - before we start choking up, what do you want to try?” He wants this date to be nothing but a lovely moment for you and he tries to steer the conversation to more positive thoughts.

Without saying another word about it, you turn your head to kiss his cheek and refocus on the menu in his hands. They have enough tourists in town that the menu from this restaurant has one-sentence item descriptions in English that simply tell non-Greek speakers the main ingredients of each dish. A quick glance around you shows you that everything here seems to be served family style, and you settle in Zach's side again happily.

"How does this sound?" You ask, pointing out the special. Gamopilafo. The menu says, with Arnáki Stamnagathi. "Greek risotto with lamb and vegetables?"

“That sounds amazing.” Zach groans happily and nods. “Do you want to get that and something else?” He doesn’t want you to share with him if you are just trying to make the bill cheaper, he can afford paying for dinner.

"It looks like it's family style? Maybe we can get another side dish to go with it so we can try more?" You shrug slightly, knowing that food was just a topic of some stress for both of you. "Sharing sounds nice. But not if you don't want to."

“I’m not opposed to sharing at all.” He promises, leaning in and nudging his nose to yours. “I’ll share anything with you.”

"Promises, promises." It's too tempting to have him close and not indulge in another kiss, but you keep it short and chaste in case Zach isn't too into public displays of affection. The half dozen or so kisses that you have shared today have been relatively private so you want to respect that for him.

Zach smiles, beams really. “What else do you want, baby?” The term of endearment slips out, but he doesn’t try to take it back or apologize. Feeling like it’s just the natural next step of this amazing day.

While the honest answer is him, that isn't what he's asking so you pull yourself out of the dirty thoughts you've been having on and off all damn day and look back down at the menu. In the top section there is something that lists cheese, fruit, bread, and flavored local olive oil, so you point that out. "Cretan charcuterie plate to start?"

“I think that’s a good idea.” Zach agrees and smiles at you. “We can see if we can come up with our own ideas for a board.”

"We'll have enough menu ideas for three new restaurants if we let our imaginations wander." Which is not a bad thing at all, but it does have both of you grinning when the waitress comes over to take your order.

Zach orders for the both of you, checking in with his eyes to make sure that it’s everything you want and hands the menu over with a pleasant smile for the waitress. Enjoying the knowing glances she shoots between the two of you. “I think that she thinks we are newlyweds or something.” He confesses quietly when she walks away. “What do you think?”

“Maybe.” Don’t be so you, you remind yourself for the hundredth time in your head. “I don’t know how many people come around here being cuddly on a fantastic day-long first date.”

“It has been fantastic, hasn’t it?” He muses, reminding himself that neither one of you has walked away or even been upset today. Not really.

“I think so.” There are clearly more things to talk about in your future, but today has left you optimistic that that future could exist. “I’m glad you do, too.”

“So, what’s your favorite type of wine?” He asks. “With charcuterie? Are you a white wine or sangria girl?”

“I’m a whatever wine you serve me kind of girl,” you tell him with an amused laugh. “But I do love sangria. There are very few things that aren’t made better with a glass of sangria or a margarita.”

“A margarita; huh?” He smirks. “Salt on the rim or sugar?”

“Depends on the flavor.” After all, your palate isn’t nonexistent, it’s just uneducated. “But usually salt.”

“A watermelon margarita is my favorite.” He admits. “Salt and sugar on the rim.”

“Salt and sugar?” That has you raising an eyebrow. “Color me intrigued.”

“It’s delicious.” He chuckles. “Goes with a hamburger or ribs. Drinks just like water.”

“That sounds incredible.” It sounds absolutely mouthwatering, actually, and you crack a grin. “Maybe I’m just really hungry.”

“Next crew party why don’t we do sliders and margaritas?” He offers. “I think you’d love it.”

“It sounds amazing.” You can agree to that without hesitation. “But I would also eat an old sneaker if it came out of your kitchen, so just know I’m always here for your food.”

“So boil shoe leather.” He pretends to make a note and laughs when you shove him playfully.

“You boil shoe leather and I’ll sing scales off key. Our worst work night ever.”

Zach throws his head back and laughs. The deep, belly laugh of a man who is completely convinced that it possible could happen and finds it up-roaringly funny. “You’re perfect.”

“You’re perfect.” He doesn’t need to know that a musical lyric sprung to mind instantly. He doesn’t need to know that you’ve been thinking it for an hour or more now. But you do hope he knows that the absolute affection shining in your eyes is honest and real.

He hums, not exactly able to take a compliment as well as he can give one. Instead he clinks his wine glass against yours. “To being perfect together.” He offers with a smile.

Neither of you take compliments well, you note with a smile, but drink deeply from your glass and enjoy a private smile that he unknowingly completed the thought of the song lyric in your head. “I know you’re supposed to wait until the end of the date to say it,” you set down your glass, thank the waitress when she brings over the first course, and restart your thought after a few seconds. “But I really think we should do this again.”

Zach’s heart leaps at your comment, happy that you have said that. “Well, of course we should.” He agrees, winking at you as he starts to dip a crusty piece of bread into the seasoned olive oil. “But I was thinking maybe we spend a little more time together on the ship when we can?”

"We could always skip the crew parties now and then to have time to ourselves." Following suit, you dive into the cheese board along with him. The cured olives and soft cheese are calling your name. "I wouldn't mind that at all."

“I mainly go to the crew parties to see you.” Zach confesses with a shy smile, offering you the dipped bread after he’s spread a bit of goat’s cheese on top of it.

"I���" Your eyes drop, your whole face heats, and you clear your throat before offering him an olive that you have stuffed with a pinch of soft sheep's milk cheese. "I go to the crew parties to see you."

Zach snorts and shakes his head. “We are pathetic.” He teases. “Mooning over each other and not even aware of it until Shane makes you take me a drink.”

"He tried to tell me," you admit after trying the bite that Zach made for you. Like everything else he's ever fed you, it's perfect. "I just...didn't really think I had a shot."

“He would always talk about you.” He huffs. “Making that crush I was suffering under nearly unbearable.” He smirks. “I guess he was hoping to push me into making a move.”

“And when you didn’t, he pushed me instead.” Which is a very Shane thing to do, really. He’s always been a little bit too cocky for his own good. “He’s like my big brother. So it makes perfect sense that he would meddle endlessly.”

“He basically adopted me once we became roommates.” Zach agrees. “He’s a good guy with a surprisingly big heart.”

“It took him a while to get there,” you acknowledge, not quite knowing how much of Shane’s story he had shared with Zach. “But now that he has? He’ll be damned if he doesn’t help everyone that he can.”

“Yeah.” Zach nods. “From what he’s told me, he’s completely different than when he was first sent away.”

“He showed me a picture once. Oh how he dresses and everything back then.” Just keeping the topic about appearance is lighthearted. That way you don’t dip too far into past seriousness. “Even if that was the only thing that changed, he really is a completely different guy now.”

“Jet black hair.” Zach snorts, shaking his head. “Dude has amazing hair now. I’m a little jealous of it.” Shane still has earrings, but he’s no longer sporting the goth edge he had back in his younger years.

“Do you ever think about growing yours out?” Zach still has short-trimmed hair that is probably a cinch to take care of, but he might look great with it longer.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve worn it long.” He admits, rubbing his hand up the back of his head. “Since high school.” He snorts. “But I’ve not given it a lot of thought, honestly. Why? You think it would look good longer?” He asks, curious about your preferences. Everyone has them, it’s like preferring clean shaven over a beard.

“I caught myself wondering once if your hair was curly when it grows out,” you admit, clearing your throat a little from being flustered. Admitting that you’ve wondered and daydreamed about him is a big step to your mind.

“Yeah?” A slow, pleased grin starts to stretch across his face as he turns back towards you again. “Daydreaming about running your fingers through my hair?”

“Maybe.” The huff in your voice is pure embarrassment, though you’re glad that he seems to like the idea rather than being weirded out by it.

“Then I have to confess something…” he drops his voice down to a whisper like it’s a secret. “I really love when the hairdresser runs her fingers through my hair when cutting it.”

It feels like a far more visceral tease than you’ve been giving him, and you can practically feel how soft his shirt hair is when your eyes flick up to it. “Noted,” you manage to huff out a second later, banishing the mental image of Zach beneath you as you card your fingers through growing curls.

He smirks and winks at you when you manage to look at him again, finding it incredibly empowering to know that you are on the same level as he is. Both of you wanting so much, but being too shy to reach for it. Someone will have to make a move, but right now, he’s enjoying the flirting and bantering.

Neither of you seem to care much that it takes longer to make bites out of your appetizer if you hold hands, enjoying the small show of intimacy more than anything else. You're loathe to give up that connection now that you have it.

Zach enjoys sharing with you. Often making bites for you to try, and he smiles every time you groan in pleasure.

“Just because I have no idea how to cook anything doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it,” you insist, and you’re laughing together when your waitress brings out your shared entree. The large and shallow bowl is obviously meant to be shared but is beautifully arranged — vegetables bringing color with the creamy risotto-like grains and tantalizingly seared and roasted lamb.

“Many blessings.” She is smiling at both of you as she puts the food down between you. “Happy marriage to young love.”

“Thank you.” Zach doesn’t correct her, beaming instead and bringing up your hand and kissing the back of it. If they believe that you are newlyweds, who are you to disclaim it?

Seeing him go with the assumption instead of correcting the woman makes your heart swell. There is something deeply soft and intimate about the gesture and you’re sure you must look so deeply entranced by your date that protesting wouldn’t do any good anyway.

“Soulmates?” The older woman asks, looking at the two of you with the pride of a grandmother.

Zach bites his lip, unsure of how to answer that, so he just wings it. “What do you think?” He asks, reaching out and caressing your cheek. “She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

"Very." The woman agrees, and with another proud smile she clasps both of your shoulders and heads off again to the kitchen with the purpose and speed of someone off to share vital gossip.

Zach smiles at you. “Well, I guess that makes us official.” He hums. “What do you think?” He asks, lifting a brow. “Want to be my girlfriend? Or should we jump straight to soulmate and wife?” He asks. “We’ve already gotten approval here.”

"It might be a little dramatic to show back up to the ship married." And yet you're grinning. You're absolutely beaming at him in a way that can't possibly be contained and for the first time today you don't want it to be. "But I love the sound of girlfriend."

“I’m sure we wouldn’t have been the first couple to have done that.” He doesn’t take offense to you ignoring the remark about soulmates. He’s seen you without sleeves enough to know that you don’t have his tattoo. You can’t be his soulmate, but he is drawn to you like he’s never been to another woman. “But girlfriend sounds perfect to me too.”

"I'm not one of those people that swears soulmates are the only possible relationship," you explain, as the two of you rearrange your little table to share your entree comfortably. The waitress had also brought you fresh drinks so the little table is loaded down with tantalizing options. "My parents aren't soulmates and they've been happily married for almost forty years. It's a great thing, but I always thought choosing your person yourself was more important than anything else."

“Interesting.” Zach is impressed and he nods. “I know that soulmates aren’t everything, but my parents were.” He tells you, smiling a little sadly. “They were probably the best relationship I’ve ever seen.”

"We both had good role models for healthy relationships. That's far more rare than it should be, I think." You note the past tense in his words but don't push, instead watching as he carefully serves the meal onto the two smaller plates you were given.

The lamb smells amazing and Zach is already drooling, imagining what he could make. “Are you ready to give me ideas?” He teases as he looks up from finishing plating.

"Dinner ideas?" You raise an eyebrow at him and pick up your fork, feeling bold with the help of the waitress who broke the ice and managed to make you Zach's girlfriend with a touch of cute teasing. "Or dirty ideas?"

“I accept all ideas.” Zach promises, his voice dipping down slightly, turning sensual.

"Fuck." Even just a quiet groan of frustration from you is enough to let him know exactly where you're at. Every single time he kisses you, you're convinced that you're going to soak through your shorts, and you no longer care if he knows it or not.

“I’ve been thinking about something.” Zach starts, forking up a bite of the risotto and trying it with a groan of approval.

"Tell me." There have been a few more serious topics touched on today without delving too deep, but you have faith that whatever it is that's on his mind won't be bad.

“We don’t have to be back on the ship until tomorrow morning.” The club is closed for the night while in port since the majority of the passengers are on shore. “What do you think about not going back tonight?”

"Like...find a little hotel?" Your fork is halfway to your mouth when you meet his eyes, seeing that there is the same spark of desire there as in your own. "That would certainly be more comfortable than using one of our bunks after we kick our roommate out," you agree, letting a grin crawl across your face.

“We don’t have to.” He stresses, not wanting you to feel like he expects to spend the night with you.

"I know." But you shrug with just a touch of guilt. "And if you want to wait that's totally fine. But...I definitely want to."

“I want to.” He is quick to reassure you of that. “I really want to. I just—” he bandied about for the right words. “Didn’t want to come off as pushy.���

"Pushy is normally my problem." you promise him. "The other part of Shane's whole 'be less you' advice was not rolling up to our first date and telling you we would make beautiful children." It's still of a hell of a way to come on strong so you laugh it off, but it's true all the same. "You've been anything but pushy, baby."

“You would have beautiful babies with Shrek.” He snorts, shaking his head. “My genes would have nothing to do with it.”

"Don't count yourself out." The grin on your face slides sideways and the two of you dig into your dinner in earnest. "Those curls of yours on a little baby? Cuties."

He blushes slightly, imagining how a baby with you would look. It’s a fantasy that he never even imagined being able to consider just a few years ago. “Only because of you. And most babies are cuties anyway.”

“They are.” That’s just a fact as far as you’re concerned. The two of you continue to eat for another minute or so before your mind catches up with all the possible consequences of that topic coming up and you almost stutter as you reach for your wine glass. “I’m—I’m on birth control, though,” you point out. Like he might think you’re trying to baby trap him on the first date just because you think babies are cute. “That’s…like I want kids eventually but I’m not crazy about it.”

This is happening. Zach swallows a bite of the deliciously fragrant and juicy lamb so he doesn’t choke. “Good. I mean, I would still want to wear a- birth control shouldn’t just be on you.” He tells you. “I’m clean, but I- it’s always good to- you know, uh, be safe.”

“I’m clean too, and if you feel more comfortable with a condom that’s totally fine, I just—” Who knows if more wine is actually a good idea at this point but you take about gulp out of nerves. “I didn’t want you to think I had any motivation for…you know…tonight, other than really liking you.”

He has to laugh at that, reaching for your hand and winking at you. “You’re focusing on your career. I don’t think that your grand plan is to be knocked up by the chef of the club you headline your first contract out.” He promises.

“Well when you say it like that it sounds silly.” And yet? A part of you is certain, beyond any doubt whatsoever, that if it happened you could be such a happy little family.

He smirks slightly and reaches over to brush off a tiny bit of sauce on the edge of your mouth. “So we both know where we stand.” He hums. “Let’s just relax and enjoy where our night takes us.”

******

With the sun set and your meal finished, an intimacy has settled over you and Zach as you sip your coffee together and listen to the busy streets of Knossos bustle with tourists and nightlife. Normally you would be part of that. You would be out with friends or searching out a feeling to get lost in — but today has been so thorough in proving that you can simply get lost in Zach that you don’t want to stray. Everything you could possibly want for your night is right here next to you. And it’s a type of calming feeling that you don’t know you’ve ever felt with another person before.

“That was probably the best meal I’ve ever eaten.” Zach rubs his stomach appreciatively and looks over at you. “Lamb on the menu for the club?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” You’ll eat anything he cooks anyway. But having it be a special memory between the two of you? That’s worth bragging about. “With those whipped carrots you made yesterday? Oh my god.”

“You liked those?” He grins, loving feedback as much as the next person and if it comes from you it makes it even sweeter. “I’ve been thinking about making it a soufflé and putting a topping on it. Similar to a sweet potato soufflé? What do you think? Too much?”

“I don’t know,” you admit with a grin spreading across your face. “I’ve never had a soufflé before.”

“You’ve never had a sweet potato casserole?” His eyes widen. “You’re shitting me?”

You shrug weakly, yet can’t help but laugh at how strong his reaction is. “My dad hates sweet potatoes,” you explain between giggles. “We basically ate like toddlers in my house forever, because he only liked four or five foods.”

“Wow.” He chuckles. “So I know what I’m making you tomorrow.” He grins. “Roasted chicken with sweet potato soufflé, creamed spinach and a fresh cranberry compote.”

“We just ate.” Sure, your tone is complaining, but the teasing is clear and sparkling in your eyes. “Why do you have to make me hungry all over again?”

Laughing, he leans over slightly to pull his wallet out to pay. Having cash is something of a safety net to him, although he’s proud of the shiny credit card with a low limit as he builds his credit back up. Offers have started coming for pre-approval of credit limits, but he’s resisted getting one so far. He pays this card off every month like clockwork. “I’ll let you sleep it off first.” He promises.

A different woman comes out with your check and a small folded bag. She smiles when she sees Zach ready to pay, and hands you the bag. “Congratulations,” she explains in a thick but clear accent. “From my grandparents. They’re very flattered you chose their restaurant for your honeymoon.”

Zach immediately feels guilty. “No— nothing is necessary.” He promises, shaking his head. “We are happy to be here. The food was amazing.”

"It's just a few cookies," she promises, apparently charmed by the display of manners. "And we're always glad to have kind guests."

“Everyone here has been wonderful.” Zach smiles as he hands over his card. “Now we just need to find a hotel with people as wonderful.”

"You don't have a place to stay already?" The bill is easily and silently settled with the exchange of a few bills between them and the woman points down the beach to a three-story white building on the edge of the beach. "Dite is a beautiful hotel. Small. But very nice. And you will see the perfect sunrise in your room."

“What do you think, sweetheart?” He asks, turning towards you. “I think it sounds just about perfect, if they have a room available.”

“Small sounds perfect.” In fact, after the bustle of the ship, it sounds like a small relief. “Thank you for the suggestion.”

“I will call for you.” She offers. “Family.”

“That would be wonderful.” You look to Zach for confirmation. “The hotel is my treat. I promise.”

He huffs, frowning slightly at the notion of you paying and there is a grin on the woman’s face as she nods in approval. “I will go call right now and let them know you are coming.” She beams before scampering off.

“It’s okay.” Sensing a bit of hurt pride that you dismiss as typically male, you lean over and kiss Zach’s cheek. “You can buy our breakfast.”

He can’t tell you that it’s because he somehow still looks at someone paying for something – even if it benefits them – as a handout. That is way too deep for this date and probably means he needs to schedule a visit with the VA therapist next time he’s in New York. “Sounds good, sweetheart.” He hums.

It only takes a few minutes for the younger waitress to return, and when she does she is smiling broadly. To Zach she hands a slip with the name and address of the hotel. “They’re getting your room ready now,” she tells you both gladly.

“Thank you.” He smiles. “For everything.”

“Our pleasure.” She assures him, and trots off again after saying good night.

He turns towards you and gives you a searching look. “Are you ready?”

"Absolutely." Considering you can see the hotel from here, you don't mind walking. A stroll through the streets of the ancient city, hand in hand with your newly minted boyfriend? It sounds perfect to you.

Zach scoots out of the seat and holds out his hand to you. “Then let’s walk off this amazing dinner.”

The roads and the beach stretch on longer than you anticipate but the walk is welcome. You're most quiet, enjoying each other's company without the need to fill the air with idle conversation. You take in the city around you and the overwhelming number of tourists. The hustle and the bustle is beautiful, but something about the fact that you can be comfortable in the quiet with Zach brings and unexpected extra layer of intimacy to the night.

Walking hand in hand is intimate, serene. He doesn’t feel the need to make excuses or fill the silence, he just enjoys the way the smiles seem to be just for you as a couple, coming from others who pass you on the streets.

The hotel is clean and bright, and the extended family of the folks who owned the restaurant are as sweet as can be when you check in. They’ve put you in a top floor room facing the ocean and promise you it’s their best, and you and Zach take the stairs up after thanking them once more.

“I feel bad.” Zach muses. “They think we are on our honeymoon.”

“First dates can be just as special as honeymoons, right?” You offer as you make your way down the hall to your room. “I checked their rates online and it was the same as what we paid. So they’re not giving us big discounts or anything. If they had, I would have said something.”

“Good.” He feels better about that and his stomach twists in nervous anticipation. You both had stopped in a little shop where he had purchased a small box of condoms. They feel heavy in his pocket.

“Hey.” The leaden heaviness sits between you as you unlock the door to your room and push it open. Before you even make a move to step inside, you settle your hand on Zach’s arm and offer him a soft, reassuring smile. “Just because we want to doesn’t mean we have to tonight, okay? We can decide to just hang out and cuddle and sleep beside each other and it will still be perfect.”

“Are you having second thoughts?” He asks seriously, trying not to look disappointed, because he doesn’t want that to pressure you.

“Not at all.” You’re quick to assure him of that, pushing open the door and stepping inside. “You just seem…nervous? I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong.”

“Afraid of disappointing you.” He admits with a small huff of amusement at himself as he flashes you a grin. “It’s been a while for me.”

"Then I'm flattered you would choose me to be the one to break that dry spell with." It really is a vote of confidence from him, and you won't take that for granted. Despite the fact that you don't understand how in the hell anyone has ever let him go, you're glad to be the person that is here and ready to see all of the potential he has as a partner.

“I would be fucking crazy not to.” Zach snorts, shaking his head. “Baby you are gorgeous and kind, and everything I don’t deserve.”

"Hey now." You shake your head as you shut the door behind the two of you, flipping the lock and feeling the shiver of anticipation roll through you. But still, hearing him put himself down is the last thing you're comfortable with and when you turn back to Zach you slide your hands up his arms gently. "I wouldn't let somebody else talk about you like that, what makes you think you get to?"

“Habit.” He admits, biting his lip and reaching for your waist to draw you closer. “I’m working on it.”

"I'm here to remind you how incredible you are anytime you need." A strong support system means everything, you learned that the hard way. And you're more than happy to be that for Zach.

“Thanks.” There’s a bit gratefulness and quite a bit of amazement in his eyes as he looks at you. “You are absolutely amazing, you know that?” He asks. “You take my breath away.”

Your hands creep up his arms, sliding around his neck so your fingers can sink into his short, soft hair. "I'd be happy to do that for you literally, if you'd like."

“How would you do that?” He has a pretty good idea, but he wants to hear what you have in mind.

The hum that leaves your lips as you press your body against his is full of promise. "I'd start at the top and work my way down, of course," you tell him, bringing Zach down to meet your lips for a searing kiss.

He can’t help but groan, a grown man melting against you, but he’s already weak in the knees from the passion in just this one kiss. The sense of complete rightness that washes over him as his own arms band around you tighter and he starts to give back to you.

None of the kisses you had shared yet today had been allowed to be this deep. You were in public. You were sharing space with other people. And this is so intensely intimate. It would have felt wrong just to let other people see your naked heart out there on your sleeve. But when it is just the two of you locked safely away in the privacy of a hotel room? You would be a puddle at his feet if it weren’t for the uncanny strength of him holding you tight against his chest.

It’s not hard for his body to respond instantly. He’s already lived most of the day in a state of arousal just being around you. But with the length of your body pressed against his and your tongue coaxing his further into your mouth? He is rock hard and aching. Groaning slightly as he turns both of you towards where the bed should be based on the split second examination of the room earlier.

And just like that you feel ignited. The press of his body against yours as he steers you blindly through around the room is an errant spark that seems to catch on every inch of you. With one hand your fingers card and tug in his hair, nails grazing over his scalp. With the other you pull his shoulders to keep him impossibly close — feeling like you’ll forget to breathe if you stop sharing gasps with him between kisses.

You taste like sweet wine and cream. A perfect combination when mixed with something that is just…you. He can’t describe it, but it’s warm and earthy.

The backs of your legs bump against the bed frame, almost toppling you over and making you hang onto Zach all the more tightly, giggling into the kiss. “Oops,” You can’t help but laugh at how deeply uncoordinated it was, even as out of breath as you are. “Weak knees aren’t very stable, apparently.”

“Then we should lay down.” Zach suggests, grinning against your lips and starting to crouch down.

It doesn’t exactly take convincing. Not when every single time he’s kissed you today has turned you a soaking wet, needy mess. The fact that you finally get to do something about it is exhilarating and relieving all at once. “Hell yes,” you agree, nearly hauling him into the bed with you when you try to kiss him and move at the same time.

He laughs when you both nearly topple over, flopping down on your sides in a move that is not nearly as graceful as he had planned in his mind. “Eager?” He asks. Sliding his hand down your side to your ass.

“Oh, absolutely.” You smirk, but shift your leg ever so slightly so your thigh presses against the front of his shorts. “Just as much as you are.”

“Baby, have you looked in the mirror?” Zach groans, twitching under the pressure. “You’re a complete knockout and fucking sweet as pie.”

“As long as you like what you see, the mirror doesn’t matter.” What you see and what he sees looking at you will never be quite the same, so as long as he likes the version of you that he sees, you’re fine with it.

Zach doesn’t say anything else, he just slowly leans in and presses his lips to yours softly.

It’s such a sweet, gentle gesture that you melt deeper into the mattress. For that one moment there are no thoughts at all left in your head. It’s just Zach and the possibilities.

He follows you, body half covering yours as he lets the kiss deepen slightly. Not too much, but he squeezes your ass gently as he grinds into you.

The roll of his hips earns him a moan, and he swallows it up eagerly so you give him another and hitch one leg up to let him get closer.

He presses deeper into you, slotting his hips between yours as you open up and he gasps into your mouth when his hard cock presses against the heat of your core.

The heat in your belly flares hotter, wicking all the way Down your limbs, and you whimper again because you have no prayer of a coherent sentence or even word in that moment. There’s horny and eager then there’s whatever the hell you are as you grind your hips against his to beg for more.

It’s juvenile, but grinding against you over clothes while he kisses you is the height of eroticism right now. He groans into your mouth before breaking away, wanting to taste every inch of your skin.

He trails kisses along your jaw and throat, making your back arch and stealing your breath all over again. While he begins to travel south you tug at his shirt, trying to tear the damn thing off while your whole body aches for him.

Zach smiles against your skin, cutting his eyes up at you playfully. “You’re too impatient” he teases, pulling away. “Think I’ll blindfold you.”

You pout instantly, but the idea is intriguing enough that you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do I get to see you eventually?”

“Eventually.” He smirks, loving that you are going along with his little idea. “That way you can accurately judge how good I am.”

“I can’t judge your skills with my eyes open?” Delighted to have found him not so very vanilla after all, you let the hand you still have in his hair tug in his curls and grin when he moans.

“You might be overwhelmed by my good looks.” He chuckles and shakes his head. One of the things that made him suggest this is his tattoo. He didn’t want to have a ton of questions about it right now. This wasn’t the time for remembering the past, but enjoying the present.

“Is this a ‘hands off’ situation, too? Or can I at least still touch you?” There are plenty of things you’re willing to try out that you already know you enjoy that people might consider out of the ordinary, but the first time with a new partner you want to feel them in every way.

“You can touch me.” He promises. “I’m just feeling a little shy right now.” He jokes playfully, winking at you. “Don’t want you to get too scared.”

“You have nothing you need to be shy about, but I fully respect having a few hang ups. I’ve got plenty, too.” Reluctantly as you are to take your hands off of him, you reach for your belt instead — or rather, the long sash of fabric that you tied through your belt loops today because you thought it looked a little cuter than a standard belt. “Use this.”

“Are you sure?” He takes the fabric from your hands and holds it up to his eyes playfully.

“I trust you.” You trust him somehow inherently. As though it were as simple as trusting yourself. In a way that sticks in your chest and warms through you like hot cocoa in winter.

He watches you for a moment after pulling the scarf down from his face, “Okay.” He agrees. “I just want this to be something we never forget.”

“I can already guarantee I will never forget any part of today,” you promise him, shivering slightly with anticipation as he settles your former belt gently over your eyes.

He ties it firmly, but not too tight. If you need it off, all you need to do is slip it up your forehead or pull it down. The point of this is to be fun, to explore without judgement and he can’t do that if you are uncomfortable. “Hopefully that’s a good thing and it doesn’t go into your ‘worst dates’ catalog.” He jokes before he slides his hands down to the edge of your shirt to push it up your stomach and drop a kiss right above your belly button.

With every small touch now heightened, your skin tingles with the scrap of his calloused fingers and press of the feather-light kiss. “I don’t fuck on the first date unless it’s a really fucking good date.”

“Me either.” Zach smirks against your skin before he decides to nip your side slightly, laughing quietly when you jump and gasp at the grazing of his teeth. Instead of working down, he decides to work up and nuzzles just under the band of your bra.

One hand blindly makes its way to his shoulder again, grasping the thick cords of muscle there and reminding you just how powerful this broad man is that is being so tender and playful with you. At this point it’s Zach’s game — to explore and to pleasure and to discover — and every point of contact between you is a spark catching fire.

It takes just a second to discover that your bra hooks in the front, to Zach's utter delight, making it easy to unbind your breasts and capture a nipple in his mouth before your shirt is even off or your straps slid down your arms.

The heat and pressure of Zach’s mouth feels boiling even on this warm night, sending you gasping and cursing as you grip his shoulder tighter. If you get any wetter your shorts might outright dissolve, but he would probably consider that a bragging right.

Zach groans against your nipple, loving the little arch to your back, pushing your breast to his mouth more. Offering yourself up.

There is no steady rhythm to any of it as Zach works to take you apart piece by piece. He has a method in his madness, surely, but you are breathless and moaning as he reduces you to a human puddle on the bedsheets. While you can’t see him like this you can definitely feel him, and your hands tug at his shirt again to get that luscious skin-on-skin sensation as he starts to travel down your body.

He takes his time, learning the sensitive spots on your body and enjoying every soft sound he pulls out of your mouth. Until he is dragging your shorts down your legs.

It’s about fucking time says the impatient voice in your head as you squirm in the bed and lift your hips to help him move things along. He’s consented to take his shirt off, at least, so that warmth that rolls off of him in waves can seep directly into your bones. You whimper as the cool breeze of exposure hits your overheated cunt, dripping with need and aching for attention.

“Fuck, you look so pretty right now.” Zach groans at the sight of your wet lips, hair trimmed and manicured. You either were hoping that the night would end this way, or you were very meticulous about your grooming. He’s kind of hoping for the former even though he wouldn’t care if you had done anything. “Baby, you look good enough to eat.”

“Tease.” You whine, trying to sound huffy but only succeeding in strangling another moan when his breath ghosts over your swollen pussy. Even with his hands caressing your thighs, you’re squirming.

It’s been a long goddamn time since Zach has had a pussy in his face, but he loves the musky scent of your wet sex. Making him twitch and groan as he slowly spreads your lips wide for him to drag his tongue up your folds for that first, tantalizing lick.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck—” With your back arching and your fingers tight in his hair, it’s so easy to lose yourself to one little taste.

He makes a sound of pleasure as he flicks his tongue over your clit and comes back for another pass. This time starting lower and letting his tongue tease your entrance before sliding higher.

If you weren’t blindfolded already you might have cum just from the sight of him. His lips and tongue explore while his hands keep you steady, holding you in place so the buck of your hips doesn’t unseat him before he can really get going.

He absorbs your sound, your taste. The very essence of your being, feasted on as he slowly and thoroughly licks through you like a meal he is savoring.

It’s a stunning combination of thorough exploration and eager enthusiasm that has you writing and moaning his name so quickly. You could have had a date yesterday and everything about tonight would already be better. Zach seems somehow to know exactly what you like without asking, reading your signals perfectly air pushing you higher and higher until his name is the only word on your lips.

Zach is completely entranced by the way you respond to his touch, never having a lover he feels so in-sync with. It’s like he’s touched you a million times before rather than just these last few minutes.

The whole world has stopped existing around you. It's just you and Zach and this bed and every new height of pleasure that he keeps building you to. The press of his hands on your hips, the deep push of his tongue, the sharp half-scrape of his teeth near your clit that he's discovered makes you gasp and moan.

“Cum for me baby.” He pulls away to gasp his plea, the need to see you fall apart about to rupture in his veins and make him go mad. His grip tightening on your hips and he dives back into your cunt with the desperation of a man starved that’s reached his oasis.

You don't have to tell me twice, you would say if you could swim through the thick mire of bliss to tease him. Instead, and much more true to the moment, you let out a sobbing moan and beg for just a little bit more to send you over the edge.

He hears the unspoken plea in your whimpers and opens his mouth wider to just devour you. Burying himself into your pussy where his nose is blocked by your mound as he pushes you over the edge and if he died in this moment, he would die blissfully happy.

Your back arches fiercely one more time, lifting your shoulders off the bed as you hit that sharp crest that explodes into your climax. All of your muscles tense and curses spill freely, interspersed with his name and moans entirely without words – until that crest becomes altogether too much, the thread mercifully snaps, and you fall back on the mattress an utterly satisfied puddle.

Zach is slow to pull his mouth away. Savoring the little tremors that race through your thighs and makes your pussy clench against his chin as he laps at your juices one last time before he lifts his head with a groan of satisfaction. “And just think, we’ve only started.” He hums playfully, knowing that the night has just begun.

------ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

ItSotN: @greenwitchfromthewoods @copperhalfcent @ariavitiellos @spishsstuff @76bookworm76

[the-far-bright-center]

Re: Obitine and Anidala

I originally wrote this in response to @marvelstars' excellent post on the subject, but I wanted to share it again because it's one of many topics in which I have a differing view from the prevailing fandom perspective.

Above all, it truly drives me nuts how the fandom pits these two relationships against each other. I'm a die-hard Anidala shipper and when I first watched TCW, I was DELIGHTED by the Obitine ship. I saw nothing about it that made me think it was supposed to be viewed as somehow 'better' or more 'ideal' than Anidala. I only ever saw it as a relationship that was more suited to Obi-Wan's character and personality. Not to mention that Padme and Satine are presented as friends who get along well and go on adventures together to right political wrongs, much in the same vein that Anakin and Obi-Wan go on their many military exploits together. The story sets them up as two couples who, in an a more ideal timeline, would be besties who go on double dates together. In my opinion, fandom's insistence on viewing them through the lens of 'which one is a 'morally better couple' is completely missing the point. Personally, I see them as two sides of the same coin.

Since @marvelstars' post was specifically about these two couples as they relate to the idea of commitment to the Jedi Order, I also focused on that angle. Imo, the way Obitine's relationship panned out made sense for their characters and context. Just like Anidala's makes sense for theirs. Obi-Wan and Satine met each other as young adults and had a whole year 'on the run' together before having to say their farewells, whereas Anakin and Padme first meet as children, then re-meet and fall in love over a short span of time, and then suddenly their world is at war and they are facing imminent, possibly indefinite, separation. That's why they marry while still remaining in their respective Jedi and Senator roles, because they feel it might be their only chance to have anything resembling the family they both long for. They understand that they might not survive the war. Whereas Obi-Wan and Satine had first met when Satine's world was already enmeshed in civil war, and then they parted once peace was reestablished and their lives were no longer in immediate danger. And when they meet again during the Clone Wars, it's a wholly different scenario and things have drastically changed (she is the head of a neutral system, he is already established as a general in a war she is opposed to). They are also older, in their 30s, while Anakin and Padme embody the headstrong impetuosity and passion of young love. So it's not as though Obi-Wan and Satine are going to drop everything and enter a committed relationship/marriage in that context in the same way Anakin and Padme do in theirs (when, notably, Anakin is still a padawan and about to be sent to the frontlines to fight in a war for the first time).

As mentioned above, when I was watching TCW I never thought that the purpose of showing both of these relationships in contrasting-parallel to one another was somehow to demonstrate that one was more 'sacrificial' for remaining in the Order and giving up the relationship while the other was more 'selfish' for trying to have both at the same time. Rather, what I feel the story is actually saying is something completely different. It's important to remember that both of these relationships involve a Jedi and the political leader to whom he had originally been assigned as a bodyguard. What is the significance of that? Well, I would argue it's more than just a romantic trope. When I watch Lucas-era Star Wars, I'm always aware that the characters have both an immediate role in-story as well as a symbolic function. Satine, a pacifist, can be seen to represent Peace. Padme, as a Senator, stands for Justice and the rights of the people. And what is it that Obi-Wan says to Luke all those years later? That the Jedi were 'the guardians of Peace and Justice in the old Republic'. This strikes me as hugely significant. Especially if we understand that the Jedi Order had lost its way as of the Prequels-era. While the fandom focuses on which couple is 'better' because of how their relationship affects each Jedi's respective commitment to the Order, I see it from a completely different angle. My understanding is that the Jedi's TRUE purpose (in relation to their role within the Republic) was actually to dedicate their lives to protecting Peace and Justice and those who truly upheld these ideals in the galaxy. Obi-Wan and Anakin's actual callings in life should have been to protect Satine and Padme, whom they loved. Whether this manifested in a more chivalric, courtly love scenario or an outright marriage is immaterial. Rather, what matters is that being a Jedi and dedicating their lives to these women due to their love for them was not incompatible with their role as protectors and defenders of the galaxy, but was in fact the truest expression of it. The so-called 'commitment' to the Order itself was never truly the point, and that's the tragedy of the Prequels-era. Because it was the Order that had by this point forbidden love and family, and which had embroiled Obi-Wan and Anakin and the rest of the Jedi in a war that went against their own principles. A war that, it could be argued, ultimately lead to the deaths of both Satine and Padme, and with them Peace and Justice—the very values that the Jedi were supposed to protect and serve.

[eatmangoesnekkid]

One unspoken virus that plagues female bodies due to growing up and being conditioned in a western colonial capitalist patriarchy is the lack of reverence, respect, and honoring we have for our teachers and inspirations/muses. Growing up in a world created out of the male mind and male philosophy, we are groomed to be less collaborative and more competitive and "takers," taking resources from the feminine, without acknowledging our sources, whether it's another woman/femme's work or resources of the earth. We have adapted to being sneaky and slick.

Everything is recorded. We do not get away with anything. The desire "to take" from other women is a 'bottom-feeder' scarcity consciousness. When a woman or womb owner holds this type of consciousness in her system, she births babies who become adults who do not feel like they are good enough and they further the unconscious scarcity imprint into future generations. When you take words I have written like "friendships can be deeply romantic" but do not credit me as the source of your newfound wisdom and simply shift words around, it is still recorded and felt by those with intuitive gifts. I am devoted to letting those whom I love know how much I adore them. Within the last 10 years, there has not a single close friend I’ve had who hasn't received a message of me sharing my love of them at some point. This is the lived experience the quote was birthed from. In the last 30 days, I have sent voice notes to a woman I follow on instagram who writes beautiful things about heterosexual relating and bridging the gap between women and men. I'm not a heterosexual woman, but I love reading her work. She expands my own consciousness of love so I reached out to her just to let her know how much her work inspired my own flow of love in a pure way and thanked her. Reverence for another human can be so activating for the psyche and requires extreme vulnerability, which is one reason it is so hard for most people to honor other people without feeling less than. We have forgotten that we are all Gods, that’s why. 🪶🙏🏿🕊️ Years ago, a couple from Atlanta came to visit me and my lover in Europe. When they arrived, I was the only one at home and when my lover came home from work, I met her at the door as usual—which was really no big deal to us. Ha, I will never forget when we turned around and saw the sheer shock on their faces from witnessing how we greeted each other after being a part for "only 7 hours" —one of them said. They were shocked that we had that so much reverence for the presence of the other. But to me, reverence is human. It is love. It is the nectarous flow of one’s inherent wellspring of vulnerability. Recently I spoke to a past mentor of mine from 2008 who is 22 years older than me, a mentor who I have expanded beyond in consciousness and lived experiences. I find traits of a good mentor to be one who can help evolve students beyond their own capacity and limitations, maybe begin to actually to revere the student’s growing beyond the mentor’s capacity overtime. This is what our relationship is like now. She is genuinely happy for everything I am and everything have become. In all these years, I have felt nothing but sheer love and appreciation from her at different stages of my journey. I told her how much I loved her for who she divinely is. I showered her with compliments and sent her a cashapp for no reason at all. I did not reach out to her to talk about myself. I only spoke about her --her beauty, sass, heart, worth, and value. Women who can not acknowledge the gifts and beauty of other women and only want “to take...” will always be poor in a myriad of ways. Heart-centered womanhood. Women can turn this world around when we begin to get deeply honest about what is living in our bodies and truly become women again and understand the level of power within it. Please consider revering/honoring those women who help to move you forward into new ways of being that will expand into limitless possibilities. Not become envious them, not steal their work but truly hold reverence and love and even cheer them on. Doing so helps to create more and more connection and love stories and less separation, fear and violence in our world. Everything is connected to everything, you see. The aim is to get better at loving and sweetness than we were conditioned to be at extracting and taking. When we do, a secret garden of vitality blooms abundantly, like the generous nectar that Spring and Summer summons from human bodies. Because beautiful people impact us in beautiful ways when we allow. Never forget that. --India Ame'ye

[hoetolegist]

Let me have a taste

Summary: Getting married is not something you want to do right now but sucking off the son of your mom's boss is

Warnings: sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), face-fucking, semi public, 2 seconds of jealous Stefan, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex, dirty talk, language (y'all know I like to curse), y/n is a riding pro, slight choking, explicit kinda

Authors note: this story was low-key an excuse for me to practice my blowjob writing skills lmao so the sex and the ending wasn't really thought out much nonetheless I hope you like it. p.s there's more plot than I thought oop-

Every time you flew down to Mystic falls to visit your parents, your mom always ended up talking about how disappointed she was about you being 24 and single. This time was no different. You sat at the round glass table with your mom and your dad, eating a casserole that your mom made a few hours prior to your visit. It hasn't even been 10 seconds into eating before your mom cleared her throat to speak, you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come

"Y/n" she began "you're twenty four. You need to settle down and start a family"

You inwardly groaned and rolled your eyes. This is a conversation that you were never able to avoid, not when you were 21, not when you were 22, not when you were 23 and not now. What your parents don't understand is that you are a very busy woman. It's not that you don't want a boyfriend, you'd love to have someone to come home to and talk about your day with but you just don't have time for one right now. Not only were you a young and attractive woman who just wanted to have her fair share of fun before she couldn't anymore but you also had a serious job that requires a lot of your attention

Your mom got married to your dad when she was 22 and then went on to have you at 24. She wants you to follow in her footsteps and start a family early so by the time you're older you don't have to worry about raising children. The thing is though is that your grandparents were millionaires, they coddled and spoiled your mom endlessly, to the point where she didn't need a job or to do anything for that matter so she decided start a family. Although your mom inherited her parents riches when they passed away, you refused to be spoiled rotten. You wanted to work hard for what you have and you did. You love and respect your mother but you refuse to sit around all day in a house too big, being a stay at home mom who does nothing but cook and clean

"Please don't start. I came here to see you and dad, can we not focus on my love life today" you said as you pushed your food around the plate with a fork, avoiding eye contact

Your mom placed her fork on her plate and sighed. "Honey I just want the best for you. I want you to start a family like me. What about that adorable Matt" she replied

"Mom no" you scoffed "wh- why would you even suggest that?"

Matt was a childhood friend of yours from middle school. You still hang out with him probably once or twice a year but you guys drifted apart a long time ago, there were no hard feelings, it's natural. Your mom loves Matt though, every time you see her she says "you and that Matt kid would make a great couple" or "he'll be your husband one day I'm telling you" but she hasn't even seen him since you guys were 18

The sound of your chair scraping the floor filled the room as you pushed back in your seat to get up. "I haven't talked to Matt in a while" you sighed and grabbed the plates before walking through the door that connected the dining room to the kitchen so you could wash your dish "and please stop telling your friends that I'm looking for a husband. If Mrs. Lockwood calls me one more time, I'm pulling my hair out" you said loud enough for her to hear

You began scrubbing the dishes as your mom walked in and leaned on the counter next to you, her brown bangs fanning messily over her forehead. "Okay I'm sorry honey. I just want you to find a ni-"

"nice guy and settle down" you finished for her "I know and I will. Just not now. There's so much I want to do for myself before I have to share my life with anyone else" you turned the faucet off and shook your hands before drying them on the kitchen towel

She sighed but prodded no more, just tapping the counter "okay honey, we have guests later today" she said before heading to the living room. Your dad leaned against the door frame and you knew he was going to say something, having heard that whole conversation. He shook his head before walking over to you and placing his dish in the sink. "She's just looking out for you in the only way she knows how" he kissed the top of your head "I'll talk to her about it okay?"

You nodded as he turned around and walked out of the kitchen. You released a heavy sigh and grabbed your phone off of the counter before leaving through the backdoor to get some fresh air. You had many messages from your friends, they must be worried since you haven't talked to them since you landed which means it has been two days now

[Caroline]

Y/n, are you okay?

I said text me when you get there remember??

Bonnie is gonna spam call the group chat if you don't answer

[Bonnie]

Hey! Just checking in

I stg you better not be dead

I'm calling

[2 missed calls from Bonnie]

[4 missed calls from 'the girls who care']

You chuckled to yourself upon seeing those messages. You decided to three-way call the group chat so you didn't have to go back and forth texting both of your friends. You sat down on the rocking chair as your phone rang

"You bitch" was the first thing you heard once the ringing stopped. Caroline picked up first then Bonnie, they were both scolding you at the same time and you just sat back on the chair and sighed since you couldn't get a word in yet

"Do you understand how worried we were?!" Caroline shouted into her mic

"Seriously, we were about to pack and fly down there" Bonnie added on a bit calmer but you could tell she was just as upset

You waited for them to get silent before you responded "I'm sorry guys. I didn't think things were going to be hectic as soon as I arrived"

They sighed because they knew exactly what you were talking about. The first and last time you ever invited your friends down to visit, your mom embarrassed you endlessly. Not the cute embarrassment when she talks about your baby pictures and coo over your squishy cheeks. No, the embarrassment that comes with getting yelled at in front of your friends for not wanting to get married at 22, the embarrassment of your mom practically telling your friends that they might as well kill themselves if they don't start a family early

"You need to put your foot down y/n" Caroline said with a huff "just cuss her out or something"

"She's my mother Care, I can't cuss my mother out"

"Sure you can" you could picture her rolling her eyes at you "all because she's your mom doesn't mean you have to take the constant disrespect"

Caroline was the one you don't go to for advice and the times you do, you don't really listen to her much. This time, maybe she was right, maybe you do need to put your foot down but if you were going to do it, it wouldn't be today. You waited for Bonnie to say something, anything. She's the calm one, the one that talks some sense into them when things were going wrong and you needed some sense right now

Bonnie sighed exasperated "Y/n, don't cuss your mom out. Caroline, stop suggesting stupid shit like that" you nodded as if she could see you "just sit her down and talk to her about it, your dad is on your side so both of you could team up and make her see that you can make your own decisions about your life and you don't need to be hassled for it"

You face palmed yourself "I've done that already Bonnie. I can't- I can't talk anymore, I've done enough talking with her"

That's when Caroline decided to speak again "well..." she started. You and Bonnie were prepared for her to say something absolutely useless but she said something that actually kind of peaked your interest. "Why don't you just tell her you already have a boyfriend? To get her off of your back at least for the rest of your visit" she said nonchalantly

"Wait- say that again" you demanded, getting up from the swing and pacing the back porch

"Uh, just tell her you have a boyfriend already?" She said it like it was a question "I mean it might be stupid but it could work. Your mom just wants you to settle down, tell her that you will and she'll be excited enough to leave you alone"

"Care you're a fucking genius!" you shouted, you kept your phone stable by using your shoulder as you pumped your fists in victory as if you had the idea yourself. "Gosh I love you guys so much. I'll have to talk to you later okay?"

This plan was absolutely fucking genius. Caroline can be on the dumber side sometimes and her ideas were over the top but there are times where she has those moments that made you want to grab her face and kiss her silly and now was one of those amazing moments.

"Wait" Bonnie tried "Y/n think it through first you can't just-"

You hung up. Of course Bonnie was going to have protests and you'll call her to talk about her opinions later but for now you have a plan and you want to get everything in your head situated first. You texted the chat saying sorry for hanging up so abruptly then you put your phone in the back pocket of your jeans before flinging the back door open

Nobody was in the living room so you threw yourself on the couch and turned on the TV just for some background noise while you sat deep in thought. Deep in the back of your mind you knew this plan would never work but if it did end up working out the way you hoped, you'd have a relaxing rest of your visit. Now you're certain that she'll ask a shit ton of questions, things like "what's his name?" And "when did you meet?" Or "why didn't you tell me this sooner?" So you came up with an answer for all of those questions. Once you came up with your fake backstory and a name to go with it, you decided to go up to your room and take a nap

You knew that you should probably get started on dinner but you were burnt out from the day and the constant nagging you had to put up with. The stairs creaked as you walked up two steps at a time. Your bedroom was still decorated the same from when you were 17 years old. Tacked onto the pale blue walls were multiple BTS posters, a light brown, wooden desk was pushed into the corner closest to the window and right in the middle of the spacey room sat a queen sized bed with pale blue sheets to match the walls and a heavy black comforter because your parents loved to keep the house cold

With a heavy sigh, you closed the door and went to the bathroom that was connected to your room. After washing up and cleaning your face you threw yourself onto the soft bed and curled under the comforter. Later you'll think things through more but right now you need to get some serious shut eye

"Y/n!" You heard a muffled voice shout out. It was your mom standing at the bottom of the stairs calling for dinner. She had a phrase for waking you up when you were a kid "two shouts before I come in and throw ice water on you". You realized that was her second shout once you heard the stairs creak with every step she took to come up

You rolled out of bed, your butt thumping the ground pretty hard. "Shit" you grimaced and lifted yourself to rub your right ass cheek before you heard your doorknob turn. Your mom flung the door open and stood in the doorway with a big blue cup in her hand, no doubt full of the coldest water she could find. "Hi mom, I'm up" you said groggily as she eyed you like you were crazy. You were sitting on the floor half asleep with one eye open, just your bra and panties on, rubbing your bruising ass cheek while your blanket was tangled around your legs, you could be seen as crazy. She opened her mouth to speak but shut it right away, just nodding and shutting the door quickly with a thud

Okay, so not the best way to say hello to your mother but if she knew how to knock she wouldn't have caught you in such a compromising position. You placed one elbow on your bed and another on your bedside table to hoist yourself up with a grunt. "Jesus fucking Christ" you mumbled as you dragged yourself to the bathroom to make yourself presentable. Your mom was inviting one of her co-workers over for dinner and she briefly woke up earlier to tell you to dress your best because there was someone she wanted you to meet

You thought that maybe she was trying to get you to talk to one of her friends so you could get a job in town, you knew how badly she wanted you to move back in with her and your dad. So when you walk down stairs in your black, tight fitted long sleeved shirt, camaflouge print cargo pants - cinched at the ankles, and black, leather converse high tops, you weren't expecting to see one of the most gorgeous men you have ever seen before in your 24 years of living. Your mom was talking to a lady who you assumed was her co-worker while the man looked around the living room, smiling at family pictures and touching the plants

"Oh Y/n you're here!!" Everyone looked at you at the announcement of your arrival. You waved shyly then walked over to your mom with your arms stiffly at your sides. She introduced the woman as Vanessa Salvatore, the CEO of Salvatore inc, the largest car company in all of North America. Your jaw damn near touched your toes, when your mom had said co-worker you wouldn't have thought that she meant the CEO of the goddamn company she worked at

The woman shook your hand firmly and called over the man who was walking around the living room. "This is my son" she said as he walked over. He was dressed in a white button-up shirt, paired with a grey suit and brown shoes, his dirty blonde hair was gelled back, a missed curl falling prettily in front of his eye. As he planted himself next to his mother you noticed that his eyes were a beautiful emerald green and his jaw was chiseled to perfection, it could cut through diamonds if he tried. He was devastatingly gorgeous, taking your eyes off of him would not be easy

"Hello, I'm Stefan Salvatore" he held his hand out and flashed a beautiful, toothy smile. You smiled right back at him and took his hand, shaking firmly like your mom taught you. "Y/n Smith, nice to meet you" you replied, trying to sound professional, this must be something important, pertaining to your mothers job. You pulled your hand back while he stared at you, intensely like he was trying to read you through your eyes. You were starting to feel kind of hot under his gaze so you turned around to go help your father set the table

Your father greeted you with a smile when you walked through the doors "hey honey" he said as he grabbed a stack of napkins "help set these plates, will you?" He kissed your cheek then walked past you to set down the napkins. While you grabbed the plates you heard the kitchen door swing open, you turned around to see who it was and there was Stefan, waving hello to your father as he walked toward you

"Y/n right?" Stefan grabbed the glass cups that were stacked on the counter next to you "sorry if I stared a little back there, you are a gorgeous woman" he said, you could see a slight smirk on his face, he's confident, that's either a good thing or a bad thing. "Thanks, you're a very handsome man" you returned the compliment before going to set the plates down. He followed you to the connected dining room and set a cup down beside every plate you placed on the table. A comfortable silence wrapped around the two of you as you both worked to set the table

After the table was done being set up you called everyone into the dining room to eat. Your mom cooked since you had taken a nap (you reminded yourself to apologize for that later). She made baked macaroni, sliced ham, sliced turkey, yellow rice with gravy and baked chicken. You were ready to dig in but guests first was the biggest rule whenever you had company over. You waited until their plates were fixed then you eagerly stood up and placed some of everything on yours

"So Michelle, I heard that the idea of two engines was your idea" Ms. Salvatore held a hand to her mouth as she talked. Your mom nodded her head "I was quite shocked at hearing that but after learning so much about you I could see that you are a smart woman". You smiled proudly upon hearing this, your mom had been working on that two engine idea for the better part of a year, when she finally got the chance to pitch it to her higher ups she was a big ball of nerves, calling you every two seconds before she had to be in the boardroom

Your mom bowed her head shyly "thank you so much Vanessa" she said gratefully, a hue of pink faint on her cheeks

Conversations flowed perfectly after that. Ms. Salvatore asked you questions like where you worked and where you lived now and you had answered truthfully. You were the head photographer at the modeling agency you worked at in New York, Lights up studios

Mrs. Salvatore's eyes lit up "Oh! A photographer? My Stefan is a model and he lives in New York too" she pat his shoulder "It's hard to get him to come visit since his schedule is very tight but he manages"

"Me too, I visit whenever my schedule dies down a bit" you cleared your throat and looked at Stefan "a model? You are very handsome" you noticed the way your mom looked between you two with a big smile on her face. "Which companies have you worked with?". You wanted to know if he ever worked with your company before, maybe before you began working there he had done some shoots

Stefan shrugged "uh, nothing big just-" he looked at his mom and sighed, she was obviously very proud of his profession "Gucci and Louis Vuitton, places like that" he scratched the back of his head, for some reason embarrassed

Your eyes widened and you put your fork down "Oh wow that's totally big. I would love to see your pictures one day". You could tell he was about to decline but his mom already had her phone in hand and pictures pulled up. Stefan's photos were amazing, he was a natural and whoever his photographer was, they were so very talented. Your breath caught in your throat at one specific photo from an underwear photoshoot, it was hot but it weirded you out that you were looking at it from his moms phone. You sat back up and started chewing on a piece of ham while his mom showed more pictures to your parents

Dinner was great. After you and your mom had finished clearing the table, everyone gathered in the living room. After thanking Mrs. Salvatore for coming over, your dad went upstairs to his room because he had to get to work early tomorrow. Your mom sat next to Mrs. Salvatore on the couch and they seemed to be talking about something important. Stefan was sitting on a recliner, looking a little lost so you decided to sit on the one next to him

"Hey" you said as you sat down "I apologize, I wouldn't have asked if I knew you were going to be a bit uncomfortable". You were feeling bad about his obvious discomfort when you asked to see his pictures. He obviously didn't like talking about his profession much and you didn't mean to pry

He flicked his wrist dismissively "It's fine. I wanted to show them, I just uh, get a little embarrassed when my mom starts to talk about it" he lowered his head "it's stupid"

You shook your head "it's not stupid, I know how you feel". Hearing your parents brag about you is the worst, especially when it's about something as big as what Stefan does. You couldn't even imagine your mom pulling out pictures of you to brag to anyone she has a chance to brag to

"I'm surprised I've never bumped into someone as sexy as you up in New York" Stefan suddenly leaned over and whispered into your ear, deep and raspy. Heat immediately pooled in your stomach at the sinful sound. He's obviously not shy when it comes to flirting, is what you thought to yourself

You chuckled "is that so?". What you did next was bold but you didn't care. You turned your head his way, he was still leaning close to you so now your faces were only inches apart, you could see the shards of gray in his eyes and the way his lips formed a lopsided heart. "Well Mr. Salvatore, now you know where to bump into me" you whispered against his lips. His eyes flickered to your lips then back to your eyes

Just as he was about to reply, Mrs. Salvatore called you both over. You got up at the same time and walked over to the couch. Your mom was looking around nervously and that made you nervous but you didn't say anything, you waited for whatever was about to be said. "Uh, we think you two should go out and get drinks. Let the adults talk some more"

You looked at your mother and just like you thought, she wasn't making eye contact with you. No way was she trying to set you up with her boss's son. "Mom, can I talk to you in the kitchen" you said with a fake smile on your face

"Honey" she laughed awkwardly "we have guests"

"Just for a minute"

You turned around and walked to the kitchen, knowing your mom would be right behind you. "Mom what the fuck?" You whisper shouted once she walked in and the door was closed "your boss's son? Are you serious right now?"

She raised a brow "excuse me young lady? Watch your mouth" she sighed "now it's just to see how compatible you two are. He's a sweet young man and if you're going to get married soon then-"

You threw your hands in the air and interrupted her with a groan "I don't want to get married mom, what don't you understand!"

She was pleading with her eyes now "Y/n just try, you might like Stefan, he's a sweet boy. And he has seemed to take a liking to you already"

"Mom I don't-" You sighed tiredly, you have no more fight left in you and no more strength left to even finish that sentence. Everything you tell her goes in one ear and out the other, you can't do it anymore so you just agreed. You glared at your mom one more time before leaving the kitchen, mumbling a quiet "nice to meet you" to Ms. Salvatore before snatching your car keys from the hook by the front door

"Let's go Stefan" you said with a little sass as you threw the front door open and walked out into the night. Stefan was right behind you, closing the house door and scrambling to sit in the passenger side of your black Mercedes E Class. Once in the car, you started it and exhaled heavily "do you mind if I bluetooth this?" You asked Stefan as you held up your phone, indicating you needed to make a call. He shrugged and sat back, buckling his seat belt

As you pulled out of the driveway the sounds of your phone ringing filled the car. You needed some sense right now before you angrily killed you and Stefan by driving off of the next bridge you cross so you called the only person who could give you some sense. "Hello?" A voice whispered, she was obviously sleeping and you would feel bad if you weren't completely pissed

"Bonnie, why the fuck do I put up with this shit? I can't talk to her and to hell with the fake boyfriend plan, that wasn't going to work anyway and I knew it wasn't the minute I put my head down to nap" you were going on and on, to anybody else the silence would mean Bonnie doesn't really care but you know she's just listening intently "I can't do this shit anymore. I can't keep coming down here and hearing the same shit and worrying about the next man my mom is trying to marry me off to in Mystic Falls. It's exhausting Bonnie"

You weren't even angry anymore just exhausted. You tried to understand your mom, you tried to sympathize with her, you tried to be angry with her but none of it is working. Nothing you do is going to stop the constant nagging and the constant questions about your love life and the silent judgement you get from her friends whose kids are already married

Bonnie hummed "what happened y/n? Did she tell another one of her friends that you want a husband"

"Basically. She invited her boss and the lady's goddamn son to the house for dinner then sent me out to get drinks with the fucking son" you chuckled dryly "she thinks I didn't notice her smiling at us like we were going to get married right there in the fucking living room"

Stefan was looking at you like you were crazy but you paid him no mind. He knew exactly what you were talking about because judging by the way his mom was smiling from ear to ear upon introducing him, she definitely told him he needed to start looking for a wife too

"Is he ugly?" Is what Bonnie asked, you saw Stefan smirk out the corner of your eye and this time it pissed you off so you said the logical answer

"Yes" you bit back a snicker when you saw his eyes widen "and he's shorter than a troll"

"Hey! You're a liar" Stefan said, pointing an accusatory finger at you

"IS HE IN THE CAR?" Bonnie shouted, you winced at how loud it was, leaning over to turn the car volume down a little

You released a laugh, high pitched and squeaky "yeah he is" you laughed harder "you should see the way he's glaring at me"

Before you knew it, all three of you started laughing. It felt nice to laugh like that and you felt less pissed. Bonnie then stopped laughing and called your name, you hummed in acknowledgment. "Just make the most of it okay? Don't think of it as your mom sending you off on a date, think of it as you meeting a new friend" she said

You nodded your head, she's right you need to think more positively. Stefan is funny and handsome, you won't marry him but you sure would fuck him if you had the chance. So why not make the most of it? "You're right Bon, thank you" you sighed "I don't know what I'd do without you". You said your goodbyes and apologized for waking her up then you hung up

"Great friend. Mine would've told me to push you out of the car and take the next flight back to New York" Stefan said once the call ended

You laughed and glanced at him "if I had called my other friend, she would've said the same thing" you stopped at a red light then leaned back in your seat "you're not ugly by the way or short" you said quietly, your joking demeanor long gone

"I know" he replied smugly. You scoffed in disbelief and amusement, so he's definitely not one to turn down a compliment

You shook your head as you started driving again "Salvatore you're something else" you replied, hearing him release a breathy laugh in response

It's a sound you've come to like, maybe a little too much

The music was blaring and you could barely hear the story Stefan was trying to tell you. You both agreed to go to a local night club called "Mindy's", great bar service and great bathrooms to suck someone off. Stefan was leaning back in the booth across from you, his legs were spread out and he had both arms propped up behind him, he threw his head back in a deep laugh at one of his own jokes and you swear it was one of the sexiest things you ever heard

You were still kind of upset about your mother trying to set you up to get married but you tried not to think about it here. You were with Stefan and more than likely going to get fucked tonight, why ruin that with complaints? You tapped on the table "do you want another drink?" You asked Stefan as you slid out of the booth to go get yourself your fourth one of the night. He nodded and allowed his eyes to roam your body as he handed you his empty glass. Your fingers grazed his as you grabbed the cup and you felt tingles from the warmth

You walked away confidently, certain that he was staring at your ass. "Two gin and tonics please" you said with a smile once you reached the bar. The male bartender smirked at you before fixing the drinks

"Here alone?" The bartender asked, his shiny black hair was messy like he had been running his hands through it and his eyes were a striking blue "I'm Landon by the way"

You hummed and replied "with a friend" then you let yourself stare at his plump, red lips as he ran his tongue across the bottom one. "I'm Y/n", the bartender looked at you with some type of intensity in his eyes, you knew he wanted you but you just wanted to flirt. Flirting always calls for a good time

He slid you your drinks then leaned forward "I'd love to take you out sometime" he whispered "I don't see many beautiful women like you in the falls". You almost rolled your eyes, these men don't seem to see beautiful women anywhere. You grabbed the drinks, lifting your brow at an extra he slid over, saying it was "on the house"

You smiled at him and thanked him for the drinks and compliment. "Maybe you'll see me around more" you said, knowing that you'll be leaving soon and not coming back for a couple more months. After telling him that you should get going, you turned around and headed back to your booth

When you got back to the table, Stefan was looking at you with his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. You decided to sit next to him instead of across from him. "Got an extra!" you shouted into his ear. He smiled, tight lipped and his eyes were sharper like he was angry. You asked him what was wrong but he just shrugged and said nothing so you hummed and started swaying in your seat to the music

"I want to dance"

Stefan just looked at you and raised a brow as if questioning why but you just grabbed his hand and drug him out of the booth. "Humor me" you said, placing a hand on his chest "just one dance"

He stared into your eyes for a few minutes then he took your hand and walked onto the dance floor. He spun you around, pressing your back to his chest "hm, I think someone else was expecting a dance too" he whispered, his warm breath fanning across your neck. Your breath hitched as he pulled you closer, sliding his left hand down your left arm to intertwine your fingers

He was jealous. You realized it in the way he held you possessively and the way he chose a spot right where the bartender could see you guys. It's not everyday you find a man as sexy as Stefan that wants you so badly so you caught yourself from smiling and decided not to comment on his jealousy

Instead you pushed your hips back as he placed his other hand on your waist to guide your movements. You could feel his heart beating rapidly on your back and you reveled in the feeling, you were making him feel like this. Eventually you were grinding up against him faster and harder and you could feel his breath picking up from the constant friction. You put your head back on his shoulder and closed your eyes, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when he started to leave feather light kisses down your neck. "Mm" you hummed as arousal swirled in the pits of your stomach, you needed to fuck him now

"I want you” Stefan confessed, low and deep in your ear, his lips grazing your earlobe. “I would fuck you so well” he added, nipping the lobe of your ear afterward

You let out a little gasp when Stefan released your entwined fingers then spun you to face him. You were drunk off both pleasure and alcohol, a dangerous combination. Stefan then kissed you, so deeply and passionately that your knees almost buckled from the feeling. His lips were softer and warmer then you could have ever imagined, not that you had much time to imagine since you just met him not too long ago

You panted as he pulled back just a little "show me then please" you begged. You weren't even going to resort to begging at first but every time he touched you a fire ignited throughout your whole body and the only way to put it out is to feel him inside of you

“Begging already?” Stefan said, his lips still against yours

You whimpered and closed your eyes as he kissed you again. You needed Stefan and it's now or never but before you could tell him to take you to the bathrooms, he was already letting go

“Come on then” he teased in a low voice, sending a shiver down your spine. His hands trailed lightly down your back, just a teasing touch, before he gripped your ass. Then the touch was gone and his warmth was gone. You opened your eyes to see Stefan walking toward the bathrooms, he walked with his head held high and the crowd parted for him like the red sea

Before you knew it you were booking it to the bathrooms. As soon as you opened the door, you were pulled in and pushed against it. Stefan locked it then connected his lips with yours hungrily. You melted into his touch, enjoying the softness of his lips and the taste of alcohol on his tongue as he licked into your mouth. Stefan slid his hands under your shirt to squeeze your waist and the touch sent a lick of heat through your stomach. You pulled back and scanned his body

"Let me suck your dick" it was a demand but a question at the same time

He nodded with a groan "yeah okay". Stefan switched spots so his back was against the door and you were in front of him then he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down enough to get his dick out. Your eyes widened, you almost wanted to slap him for having such a perfect dick – it was long, thick and his pretty red tip was already dripping with pre-cum

You quickly sunk down to your knees and stuck your tongue out, licking a broad stripe along the vein on his cock. Stefan released a drawn out moan, letting the back of his head hit the door with a thud. "Fuck" he cursed under his breath as you started to suck on the tip. He put a hand in your hair, not pushing your head but just keeping it there

This turned you on though, you wanted him to grip your hair and fuck his cock down your throat. And you let him know that by sinking down as far as you can, then looking up at him with tears pricking your eyes. His grip in your hair tightened and his breathing picked up. "Okay shit, I get it" he said, smiling down at you and boy was his smile beautiful. "Tap my thigh whenever you want me to stop" he added before pulling his cock out to rub his tip on your lips

When you opened your mouth he took that opportunity to slide in, slowly, just until he hit the back of your throat then he pulled back again and slammed in harder. Your eyes watered but you just breathed through your nose, you wanted this. "So good baby" he breathed as he looked down at you with half lidded eyes. The praise make your pussy clench around nothing, wanting him to fill you up

Stefan gently fisted your hair with both hands as he began to thrust, moving your head along with him. "Those pretty lips were meant to be stretched around my cock" he said as he started thrusting faster, moans getting louder. You're sure anybody who was waiting for the restroom could hear him but that made it even hotter

Drool and tears ran down your face as Stefan brutally hit the back of your throat with each thrust, you closed your eyes and thanked the universe for not giving you a gag reflex. You moaned around his length, hearing him let out a curse from the vibrations just like you thought he would. You continued to look up at him as he stared down at you, he was breathtaking. His forehead glistened with sweat and his tongue swiped across his bottom lip every few seconds. He smiled at you in between a moan and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen

Soon his thrusts were faltering and his cock was twitching against your tongue with the need to release. "Fuck- I'm gonna cum" he moaned as he put his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. His grip in your hair tightened as he thrusted one more time, stilling with a loud groan as he came hot and salty down your throat. You swallowed it all quickly then sucked on his tip a little more until he was pulling you off from over stimulation

"You're a fucking dream" he breathed out, his eyes following you as you stood back up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand

"So I've been told" you replied with a laugh as you turned around to walk to the sink to wash your face and fix your hair

After Stefan tucked himself back in and buckled his belt back up he walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "I don't have condoms on me" he mumbled as he kissed your ear. You tried not to pout in disappointment. You were really hoping to get fucked tonight but you were fine with it, you didn't care much

"It's fine I don't need anything in re-"

"But I have my own place a few blocks away" he interrupted with a face as if he was trying not to laugh and coo at you. That was all he had to say before you were grabbing his arm and unlocking the bathroom door. Of course you cared, you wanted Stefan and he didn't seem like the blowjob and go type of guy anyway. You didn't care about the people staring at the both of you as you flung the door open and walked out

You and Stefan walked to the car in silence because if either of you spoke you'd probably just say fuck it and have the nastiest sex on your backseat. Electricity was buzzing through your veins and you were already wet from earlier, you know he could fuck you good and you're ready to be pinned down and fucked rough

Stefan had already typed his address into your phone's GPS so in just a few minutes you were pulling up a huge driveway. Your eyes widened as something akin to a mansion came into view. His house was fucking huge, there is no way he lives here alone and of course you talked first and asked that very question. "You live here? Alone?" You asked your car came to a halt by the entrance

He shook his head and replied "not alone". You raised a brow and asked with who and he told you that he has a three year old puppy named Rose that he keeps with him every time he visits Mystic Falls, giving the puppy to his parents whenever he isn't here. For some reason you felt a sense of relief at the confirmation of nobody else living there but you ignored it because what would you be relieved for?

When you walked in the house you didn't even have time to process how big and beautiful it was inside before Stefan was grabbing your waist and smashing ypur lips together. You yelped as he picked you up and you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist. "You're so fucking sexy" he said in between nips on your bottom lip. He carried you up a flight of stairs with his lips still connected to yours, not pulling away until he threw you on a big bed in a bedroom way too big for one person. You sat still and looked around as Stefan went to go grab condoms out of his dresser

The room was huge but very bland like something you'd imagine a guest room to look like but you knew it was his room because of the single picture of him accompanied by a tall man with black hair that sat on his dresser. You wanted to ask questions but you didn't want to pry too much

Soon Stefan came back with three condoms, you lifted a brow and giggled. "Three? Are you trying to kill me?" You asked in faux disbelief. You can handle three rounds but you aren't sure if he can, not with you

He laughed lowly while moving to hover over you. "Just hoping you can keep up" he said before pressing his lips against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his waist as you pulled him closer and kissed him back harder. You could kiss Stefan forever, it was like your lips were made to be on his

You both grinded against each other before Stefan pulled back to start kissing down your neck. "Tell me what you like" he said as he nipped a sensitive part on your neck "I'm open to anything" he continued, detaching his lips from your neck so he could pull your shirt off, you complied by lifting your arms

"Mm" you moaned as he kissed around your breasts, you indeed wore no bra. Your breasts are big but not too big so you were able to pass without a bra sometimes. "I like rough but not too rough, I don't want to bleed. I like to be choked and please don't hesitate to leave marks, it turns me on". You placed a hand on the back of his head as he started sucking on one of your hard nipples. "If you're too silent I might get up and leave in the middle of it" you laughed when Stefan softly bit your nipple trying to hold back a laugh. "I'm serious, be vocal, I like to hear how good you feel" you said, looking down in time to see Stefan wink at you

"Of course I'll be vocal baby" he mumbled against your skin as he was switching to the other nipple. You shuddered at the pet name again and closed your eyes thinking of more things to tell him

"If I say pineapple that means stop"

Stefan released your nipple with a pop "you better pineapple the shit out of me if you feel any bit of discomfort, got it?" He said with a small smile. You replied with a simple yes before helping him pull his shirt off

This man was carved by angels then double checked by the Greek Gods, you've never seen abs so chiseled and defined. Your mouth hung open as you shamelessly swept his torso with your eyes. Is it weird to say someone has pretty nipples? It probably is but that didn't stop you. "You're nipples are so pretty" you blurted, mentally face palming yourself once you said it

"Thanks" Stefan smiled then pinched one of your nipples "so are yours"

"Just fuck me already" you huffed with a playful roll of your eyes

Stefan kissed you again as he pulled your pants and panties off, quickly pulling his pants and boxers off as well. He stared open mouthed at your pussy and you were about two seconds away from covering up before he began to run his fingers along your glistening folds. He spread you open with two fingers "fuck you're so wet" he removed his fingers and brought them to your lips, you willingly opened your mouth to taste yourself like he wanted you to

He watched you with a hungry look in his eyes which spurred you on more. As much as you wanted to get fucked, you loved the foreplay, you know your orgasm is going to be so much more intense when he does get around to fucking you. You dragged your tongue in between his two fingers and you sucked hard, reminding him of the blowjob you gave him back at the club. "Shit" he whispered, voice heavy with arousal. You released his fingers then watched him move down so his head could be between your thighs

"Gonna taste you first" he said then he stuffed his face into your pussy

You arched up and released a sigh when he licked a stripe up your core and to your clit. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking hard as you grabbed the sheets on either side of your head and squeezed your eyes shut. It felt so good and you wanted so badly to hump his face. "So good Stefan" you whined when he swirled his tongue around your clit then moved to push his tongue through your pulsating hole, using his thumb to rub your clit

It was messy, you were so wet for him and you could hear the way he slurps on your pussy, it pushed you closer and closer to the edge. He pushed two fingers into your hole at once and it felt so good with just a small sting. He hooked his fingers, hitting your g-spot right away. "Right there" you whined breathily, pushing back on his fingers

He was so good at this, knew exactly what to do with his fingers and mouth. But you needed more, you wanted to cum on his cock. You tapped his head "fuck me" you looked at him through half lidded eyes and squeezed your own nipples "I want you so bad" you said, moaning softly when his pressed a kiss to your core

Stefan nodded and quickly sat up on his knees and opened one of the condoms. You watched as he rolled it on then pumped himself a few times. It was hot, he was hot. "Relax for me, okay?" Stefan whispered, rubbing circles into your thighs as he lined himself up with your hole. A quiet moan left you as he pushed in excruciatingly slow, his eyes stuck on where you two are now connected. He rests his hand down on your mound, thumb rubbing small circles into your clit as he rocked his hips into yours

"Shit" Stefan muttered softly to himself. He hadn't really set a pace yet, just lazily rolling his hips and enjoying the feel of your warm, wet pussy squeezing him so tightly. "Fuck you feel so good" he grunted out as he began to speed up his thrusts, fucking into you so hard that his neighbors could probably hear the slap of skin against skin

Stefan slid his hand up your torso to squeeze one of your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. "Oh my God" your eyes rolled into the back of your head, his cock hit your g-spot with each thrust inside of you. You gripped his sheets to keep yourself from sinking your nails into his biceps. "Deeper please Stefan" you whined, not knowing how he could get any deeper but you need him to try

"Ride me" is what he replied "if you want it, then ride me" he challengingly quirked a brow and smirked. He was obviously teasing you but with no hesitation you put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, allowing his cock to slide out of you so you can hover above him

"You're so fucking sexy" He whispered as you positioned yourself above his cock and sunk down, he was just in you but the stretch was still there, it was a dull pain. His fingers dug into your sides harshly, hard enough to leave bruises and you'd smile about it if you weren't trying to fit his cock in you

You circled your hips a few times before lifting yourself up and slamming back down. You set the pace and made the movements quick and harsh. Stefan slid his hands down to your ass, helping you bounce up and down on him. "You ride me so well" Stefan groaned, eyebrows furrowing out of pleasure

You couldn’t help but clench around him from the endless praise, the action causing him to buck his hips as he moaned “yeah, just like that”. One particular swivel of your hips had you both groan in unison as you worked his cock to find your sweet spot. You locked into the feeling desperate to find it by grinding his cock deeper because it was right there, making your eyes roll backwards into your head. "Oh F-" you shuddered as you found the spot you were looking for

Stefan looked at you with eyes fogged with pure lust. There was no way he could close his eyes when you moved like that above him. He lifted his hips up to meet yours and although you weren't planning on cumming so quickly, that pushed so far over the edge, you couldn't even see straight as your orgasm knocked the breath out of you. Your vision was blurred, the dull ringing in your ears made your head pound and your body convulsed embarrassingly on top of Stefan

Your pussy fluttered violently around his cock, gripping onto it in a way that made Stefan's body shiver from pure pleasure. He’s moaning loudly, no longer being able to hold back. He brought a hand up to wrap around your throat as he planted his feet on the bed, sat up slightly and started fucking up so hard into you that you damn near saw stars

Both of you were sweating heavily and your skin was burning hot by now but you didn't want to stop, no matter how far you were pushed into oversensitivity

You could tell he was close when you felt him twitch inside of you so you used all of your energy to circle your hips to meet his thrust. "Fuck y/n" was the last thing you heard being whispered near your ear as he spilled inside of you, collapsing on top of you but not entirely as to not crush you

You both layed there for a few minutes breathing heavily. You tapped Stefan's shoulder to tell him to get off of you. With a sigh he pulled out of you and flopped onto your side, pulling off the condom and tying it up. "You're really a dream" he chuckled softly as he threw the condom into a small garbage bin by his bed

"So you've said" you looked at him and smiled. The silence was comfortable, just both of you basking in your post orgasm glow and waiting for your breathing to calm down. Suddenly your phone rang loudly, you sat up quick and felt around for it, picking your pants up off the floor and pulling it out of the back pocket

It was your mom calling, you looked at Stefan with wide eyes and put a finger over your lips. "Hello?" You stood up and paced the room, not bothering to even put your undergarments back on

"Y/n, where are you? It's almost one in the morning"

You bit back the scoff you so badly wanted to release "I'm with Stefan mom. Did you forget that you sent me off to get married to your boss's son?"

She sighed heavily, you could picture her leaning against the counter, rubbing her temples. "But that doesn't mean stay out all night doing God knows what! You still stay under my roof while you're here"

This time you did scoff, rolling your eyes as well "mom excuse my language but what the fuck?" You shook your head as Stefan looked over at you in concern "you begged me to leave the house with a random guy in hopes of me getting married so you can relive that through me, you don't get to lecture me when I don't come home for a couple of hours"

"Now Y/n watch-"

She tried to speak but you just needed to let this out so you interrupted her. "He could've been a serial killer or a kidnapper and if anything had gone left you wouldn't even be hearing my voice right now" you felt your eyes sting with tears, trying as best as you could to blink them back before they could fall "you're lucky that I'm with someone who actually makes me feel a bit safe. I'm not coming home tonight and I'll be packing tomorrow and going back to New York. I love you but I don't love the constant nagging about my love life, you don't respect me or my wishes mom. I'm sick of it" you tried to catch a tear before it slipped but it was too late "get some sleep okay? Goodnight, I love you" you hung up the phone and just stood there, butt naked and facing the wall with tears silently rolling down your face

You wiped your face and took breaths before turning around "uh, I'm gonna go" you walked to the bed and started putting your clothes back on and Stefan just watched. You didn't know if he wanted to say something or if he just didn't care but either way you just wanted to go. As you were putting your shirt on that's when Stefan got up, quickly going to his closet to rummage through a whole bunch of clothes. He pulled out a pair of black gym shorts and a white sleeveless t-shirt

"It's not much but if you uh, want you can take a shower here and stay here for tonight" he scratched the back of his head with one hand while he held out the clothes with the other, it even looked like he was blushing a little, you couldn't help but crack a small smile

You bit your lip to try to hold the smile back "are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything" you said while grabbing the clothes from him

"You're not imposing" he walked up to you and lifted your chin up with his fingers "don't let your mom force you to do anything you don't want to do" the look in his eye made you want to obey every word he said so you nodded your head. He searched your face "I'm serious y/n. I love my mom but if I had allowed her to force me into marriage I wouldn't be who I am today, doing what I love. You're a beautiful woman with a lot going for you, if marriage isn't what you want then don't do it"

Without really thinking about it you pulled him in for a kiss. Both of you were still naked but it wasn't a sex hungry, heat filled kiss, it was passionate and slow and it made butterflies flutter in your belly, you've never felt that before. You pulled away with a big, dopey smile on your face "I won't do anything I don't want to do" you whispered, biting your lip to conceal yet another smile

"So you wanted to kiss me like that?" He teased with a huge smile on his face. You turned away from him and began walking to the bathroom, answering his question by looking over your shoulder and inviting him in with a tilt of your head

"Come shower with me and I'll let you know what I really want"

He laughed loudly and you couldn't help but join in, it was so contagious. "Oh you crazy crazy girl" he said as he followed behind you, ready for whatever you had to offer him

Maybe you don't plan on getting married anytime soon or dating to be honest but Stefan has become a constant in your life and you'd like to keep it that way and when the time comes when you both want to settle down, it wouldn't be too bad if it was with him

[kai-anderson-whore]

Can I have an Evan request? Could it be that they have an age gap (I’m 22 lol) and she is insecure and it ends with fluff and maybe smut??

Of course sorry it took a bit to write and I hope you like it🥰

Do you love me? (Evan peters x fem reader smut)

Summary: you and Evan have been secretly dating for six months but you don’t want to hide anymore

Warnings: smut, fluff, p in v intercourse, self doubt, questioning of relationships, private relationships let me know if I missed anything

Word count: 1,6k

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.

You sat on your boyfriend's bed strolling through instagram seeing all the photos of the event he had attended last night. You hadn't attended the event since you and Evan weren't publicly a couple. You knew Evan likes to keep his personal life private but you couldn't help but feel insecure you had been dating for a little over six months and you couldn't go and do normal couple things because no one knew.

You could say you love him but neither of you said it yet. He was a few years older than you you were 22 and him only just turning 36. You knew if you both came out publicly about your relationship some may have not so nice opinions but you didn't care. Evan made you happy unlike anyone had before in previous relationships. He is kind, funny, humbling despite his line of work and just the most sweetest person ever.

You just worship the ground that man walks on. But the worry and insecurities still remain within you, 'I'm I really good enough for him?', 'does he love me?', 'is he going to break up with me that's why we aren't public?'. The thoughts ate you up. Biting your nails looking at how happy he was in photos with other celebrities.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Evan walking in with a towel wrapped securely around his waist, droplets of water dripping from his hair. "Hey babe" he smiled sweetly grabbing some clean underwear and sweatpants from his drawer. "Hey" you mumbled still lost inside your head you hadn't realised that Evan placed a chaste kiss on your lips.

"You okay?" He asked noticing your lack of awareness. You nodded your head saying you were fine but Evan knew you weren't. "Are you sure you look like your about to cry, come on babe talk to me" he whispered now sitting down in front of you. Your head hung low in shame the tears pricked your eyes.

"Hey don't cry" his voice become more soft like you would crumble at any given moment. His arms wrapped around your frame as you just sobbed into his arms. Evan just let you cry everything out till you were ready to talk, his hand rubbing your back soothing you, soft whispers of "it's okay" and "just let it all out" whilst placing his lips on top of your head.

You stayed huddled into his bare chest for about five minutes just letting all the buildup of your suppressed emotions out finally. "Evan do you even like me?" You asked not looking into his eyes fearing they would show you something that you didn't want to see. Evan scrunched his face in confusion not knowing where this had came from. He was absolutely smitten with you from the moment he laid eyes on you and it was beyond him why you would think differently.

A soft chuckle of disbelief and nervousness left Evans lips "what makes you say that?" He asked his hand still stroking your back comfortingly. You finally looked up at him seeing a pang of hurt within his brown orbs. "It's just your friends know about us and that but we can't even go out in public because we aren't official I'm not caring about the media and all that I just want the hiding to stop it's killing me" you sobbed more.

Evan hadn't realised that it upset you that much. He would love to be open about your relationship to everyone but with the past and who he is he preferred to have a private life. "I didn't know it upset you y/n I completely understand why it is upsetting you but I want you to know over these past six months you shook up my whole world for the better, and yes I do like you a lot in fact it's not even that anymore" Evan paused taking a deep breath unsure if he should drop the bomb on you both at this moment.

"It's what Evan?" You asked feeling scared incase he took his words back. You studied his every feature focusing more so on his perfect brown eyes. They showed something more towards you. Evan parted his lips licking them "I love you y/n" he blurted out. Your eyes went wide he finally said those three words that you had been dying to hear.

"W-what" you lowly gasped not fully processing what he just said. "I love you and I'm so sorry for making you feel like this and questioning my feelings towards you. but god y/n I love the bones off you and we should go public about your relationship" Evan remained his strong eye contact with you. You felt your heard swell with joy from his words. The tears that treacle down your face went from sorrow to pure joy.

"I love you too Evan" you whispered a smile cracked on to Evans lips before crashing them on your own plumped ones. The kiss wasn't like anything before it was soft yet full with passion, like he was trying to express himself more or like it would be the very last kiss you'd ever have.

His hand placed on your cheek holding you close. your lips moved in sync your hands tangled through his locks as he gently pushed you further down the mattress his body shifted between your legs, his hand moved to your side caressing your soft skin from beneath your thin nightdress. The other supporting him upright. You could feel his erection hidden by the towel on your inner thigh slightly grinding against the bare skin for friction.

A small whine left your lips as Evan pulled away only to remove your nightdress only leaving you in your underwear. "God how did I get so lucky" he happily sighed before pressing his lips back on yours. He swiped his tongue along your bottom lip seeking entry which you accepted. Your tongues danced with each other your hands trailed along his arms down to his chest driving Evan wild.

Your hands went lower hovering over the towel covering him, slightly tugging on the fabric for it to drop off Evans hips. You bit your lip in excitement as Evan began pulling your panties down discarding them on the wooden floor. You could feel the heat raising within your heat the anticipation clawing at you waiting on his next move.

Evan lined himself up with your entrance your core desperate to be fulfilled. With one gentle push of his hips he entered slowly into you, you lowly gasped your hands on his shoulders. Your face scrunched as Evan pushed deeper into you but his lips peppered along your skin as a way to focus on something else.

“It’s okay baby” he whispered in your ear pulling out almost fully before thrusting into you passionately, a moan left your lips your hands making their way to evans back slightly digging your nails into his back earning a groan from him.

“I love you so much” Evan’s hot breath fanned your face, a droopy smile on his lips, passion and admiration within his brown eyes. “I love you too” you hummed lightly as Evan picked up a steady passionate rhythm. Both of your breathing became heavy, your mind clouded by Evan you were completely like putty in his hands.

The room soon was filled by moans and grunts from you both. Evan started to pick up the pace of his thrusts into you, his head dipping into your shoulders, your hands tugging at his hair driving him wild. A repeat of “I love you’s” left both your lips. It wasn’t like anything you did before it was like you both unlocked this new passion for one another a whole new meaning as your body’s united as one.

“I’m so close Evan” you moaned out your hips bucking upwards as Evan hit that spot guaranteed to make you see stars. “Me too baby” he says slick sweat decorating your skin, you hair tossled over the pillow but Evan thought you couldn’t get anymore beautiful. The way your eyes would roll back with each thrust he delivered to you, the your lips would part open letting your moans slip freely like music to his ears.

With a few more thrusts you felt that knot in your core begin to unravel. another loud moan left your lips as you reached your climax, your back arched a “fuck fuck” you cried out the euphoric feeling of your orgasm triggering Evan’s filling you up with his hot seed. His thrusts were sloppy milking you through your highs till he practically collapsed on top of you.

All you could hear was heavy breathing your hand strokes the back of Evan’s neck trying to regain your breaths. “I really mean it y/n I love you” Evan stated glancing at you with those eyes that always captivate you into a trance. “I know I love you too” you smiled sweetly with sleepy eyes.

Evan pulled out of you a whimpered sigh escaping from your lips at the loss of contact. Evan grabbed a towel helping you get cleaned up. You throw on your nightdress back on once you were all clean Evan discarded the towel in the dirty laundry basket in the corner of the room before climbing into bed with you.

You laid your head on his chest, his arm wrapped around you holding you close. “Goodnight y/n” he mumbles sleepily “goodnight Evan I love you” you yawned eyes closed but you could feel him smiling down at you “I love you too”.

[doverstar]

THERE WAS NO OTHER ENDING FOR ROSE and ya know what, I like to think the doctor thinks so too

I think he does too! I’m gonna talk about it, are you ready for me to talk about it? Are you ready for an essay-

I think the Doctor would agree that the ending Rose got—the one with Tentoo on Pete’s World—was the best possible fate for her. I’ll explain why, because I feel like it. First I’ll break down Rose’s most popular alternative-endings. Let’s start with Rose-stays-with-him-until-she-dies. That’s the one Rose decided on long before Canary Wharf. She planned on staying with the Time Lord until she physically couldn’t anymore. Forever.

First of all, that would be painful for the Doctor. He already said it. Watching Rose get shot, drowned, stabbed, sucked into a black hole, sacrificed for a remote planet’s civilization, poisoned, pulled into a void, atomized, eaten, possessed, run over, diseased, or ripped apart would be traumatic and terrible for the Doctor.

Watching Rose grow old and tired and then die would also be incredibly painful. He might try to prolong her life in alien ways, even in medical ways, but then she’s subjected to an unnatural, un-human existence until death claims her. Making a naturally-decaying body stick around and eke out another year, another hour, another century while he watches, exactly the same as ever. Yikes. Not fun for either of them. No thank you. He was against that ending with good reason.

Now, this ending where Rose stays with him until she dies? It is no less an emotional commitment to make than the one every married couple on Earth, every affectionate relationship on Earth, makes. Friends, family, spouses. You will lose them. You have to decide to love them knowing that.

The Doctor does love Rose, but he can’t tell her or admit it aloud because to do that would be facing a reality he’s not willing to face: he loves something he will inevitably lose. The old coward will not do it.

I believe that if Rose wanted to stay with him until she died, knowing she has a shorter lifespan but committing to holding his hand until she could not hold it anymore because he needs that and she can give it to him, and she knows he loves her back—100% yes girl, go for it. That is good and right and fine and she should be allowed to make that commitment. That’s love. That’s literal marriage vows. That’s unconditional, unwavering, and Rose is the first companion in 60 years of TARDIS passengers to love him like that. And he knows it. And it’s scary. But. Even in marriage, that is a commitment that has to be agreed upon by both parties. And the Doctor did not agree. The Doctor, selfish old man, is too afraid. He doesn’t want to watch Rose die, and he tried to explain that to her without confessing anything, and she heard him and tried to explain to him that she decided he would always have her if she had anything to say about it, not for her sake, but for his. (“Who’s gonna hold his hand now?” “I made my choice a long time ago and I’m never gonna leave you.” “Forever.”)

Now. That’s the first option for an alternate ending for Rose. She stays with him as a mortal and he has to watch her die, and they either dance around expressing their love in an unspoken, inexplicit way until he loses her and it’s agony, or they jump in with both feet and enjoy the time they have left, however many days Rose has before death, with the knowledge and understanding that he will outlive her, which is agony but with kissing. Still not 100% happy because one of them is, well, in agony. With a significantly long life stretched out ahead of him to spend as a widower. And it would fundamentally change the nature of a 60-year-old television show, but that’s another Ask for another time. Next is the Immortal!Rose AU, or the Bad Wolf AU. Personally, I don’t care for this AU (though I get the appeal and I do sometimes wish it could be that way). I used to think it was a good idea, and sometimes it's still sweet and I can see it, but the older I got, the more I disagreed with it. Because really, it doesn’t work. The AU’s idea—or its most popular explanation—is that Rose, by absorbing the Time Vortex and looking into the heart of the TARDIS in The Parting of the Ways, retained one slice of her godlike powers: she became immortal. Even after the Doctor kissed her and took the Vortex away to save her. The most-used version of this is that neither Rose nor the Doctor are aware that Rose was left with immortality until Tentoo ages and she doesn’t, or her family ages and she doesn’t.

The reason why I don’t think the Doctor would ultimately want this ending for Rose? The Doctor himself would not recommend immortality. He knows it’s ultimately a devastating existence. He himself has a ridiculously-long lifespan. Time Lords are supposed to only have a certain number of regenerations, but each regeneration, if left to age naturally, lives a long freaking time. (With the new Timeless Child nonsense, who knows, apparently the Doctor exclusively is immortal? I pretend I do not see it.) And then if they should die of old age, they regenerate and another chapter of life begins. So the Doctor knows what it’s like to essentially be immortal. And he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like watching his friends die around him. He doesn’t like knowing he will outlive the people and places he cares about. He hates it. “Immortality is everybody else dying.” “In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust.” That last line, the Lazarus speech, sounds familiar because it’s something similar, interestingly, to what Rose said when she was the Bad Wolf. “Everything comes to dust.” Immortality is not a blessing. Immortality is absolutely a curse, and the show treats it like a curse. It’s not just never dying. Immortality is being alone and being unnatural. It’s bad. It’s not a good thing. If you were a 100% perfect person with a 100% perfect memory, it might be doable, but it’s not an easy existence. It sounds awful actually. We saw it with Ashildr (terrible idea). She’s miserable. She never really stops being miserable. Think about this: the Doctor is (kind of) immortal. He never stays in one place for too long, and he is careful to bring along far more mortal traveling companions wherever he goes. The Doctor once told Amy that he brought her with him because he can’t “see it” anymore (meaning the universe and its value), but he brings Amy and others with him because they can see it. “And when you see it, I see it.” What is everyone always telling him? Don’t travel alone. Not because he’s lonely—even though he totally is. It’s because when he is alone, the Doctor becomes a hazard, not a help. He starts to feel like he can do whatever he wants. I mean, think about it. He starts to feel like his judgement is infallible, because he’s basically a god, isn’t he? But no one should have that much power. It takes a lot to kill him, he’s a genius, and he has a time-and-space machine. What can’t he do? After a long, long, long time of living and being alone, essentially in an echo chamber with himself, the Doctor would lose empathy and compassion and humility just like anyone else. Because he’s not perfect. But he brings friends along to remind him he can stop now. To remind him we don’t walk away. To remind him that the universe has life in it that is worth saving, and that there is such a thing as right and wrong, and that he is not God, and that there is no such thing as little people. 900 years of time and space and he’s never met anybody who wasn’t important before. He needs his friends to hold him to the mark.

So—the Doctor knows that being immortal basically means that in the end you’ll see everything come to dust. If you’re not careful, you won’t be you anymore. And nothing and no one else will be themselves to you, either. You will lose the people/places you care about, and you will be alone, and you will stop caring. And then not only will you be wretched, you’ll be dangerous. Someone who doesn’t care is dangerous. It’s Ted Bundy. It’s evil. But it’s okay, I hear you saying. If they had each other, he would always have someone to hold him to the mark! Well - yes and then no - Think about Rose. Rose Tyler is a young human woman with so much empathy and sympathy. She is “so human”, in the Doctor’s own words. She is imperfect, and selfish, and petty, and easily angry and easily jealous. She is also impossibly compassionate, even towards the most ruthless murderous species. She’s kind and generous and brave and has a strong sense of justice. She’s often very selfless and very loving. Especially toward the Doctor. She values doing the right thing. A lot of those traits are found in the Doctor’s other friends (he chooses them with great care). But Rose is different. The Doctor is in love with Rose. And Rose is a lot of ‘firsts’ for Doctor Who. She’s the first companion to inspire change in a Dalek. She’s the first companion to tell him she’s in love with him. (Jo loved him, Sarah Jane loved him, Grace loved him, yes I know there were others.) She’s the first companion to be a real, proper onscreen equal to the Doctor, and not in a She’s Basically the Doctor But A Girl way, like Clara Oswald tried to be. She is not his assistant, his carer, his associate, his sidekick, his adoptive daughter, adoptive little sister, biological granddaughter, or his partner. Not to be Emily Bronte, but these two characters have the same heart. Like recognized like and fell in love. Perfect complementation. That is also another Ask for another time –

RTD said that Rose “humans [the Doctor] and he Time Lords her”. He brings out the courage and confidence in her that makes her so exceptional as a human, things that turn her into a hero, things she already had in her that the Doctor pulled forward. In turn, she brings out the compassion and humility in him that makes him a hero instead of a villain, things he always had in him that she pulled forward, adding humanity which would otherwise be easy for him to cast off.

But she can’t human him if she isn’t human anymore.

The things that make Rose an exceptional mortal would no longer be exceptional if she were immortal. The good traits would be a duty to retain, and the bad traits would be a poison to keep at bay. Because Rose is on a different level when it comes to her relationship with the Doctor, she could, for a time, help hold him to the mark. They would be exactly as we saw them in the show—passing by, helping out, saving the day, loving one another, making one another better. And then after eons go by, they would be each other’s echo chamber. Rose is the Doctor’s equal? Given eternity to stagnate in, what was once a strength would quickly become a weakness. Rose is not perfect and the Doctor is not perfect. Rose would not always be able to “see it” anymore either, even with the Doctor there. Same goes for him. They might be together forever, but Rose would be watching her mother, father, brother, friends, and family all age and die. She would hate that. But it would be okay because she has the Doctor, right? I agree with that. They have one another. So they’re never alone. That’s good. But Rose would not be a Time Lord. She’d be an immortal human. Ashildr 2.0, finite memory in an infinite body. She’d become detached, unable to appreciate the universe, and she’d stop investing in mortal relationships because they all end eventually. All she’d have would be the Doctor—and that’s wonderful, but after a while it would stop being a special thing that they have one another. Don’t look at me like that; it would. Okay, no – no - even if the Bad Wolf powers allowed Rose to have an infinite memory to go with her infinite body, fine, let’s say they did, she and the Doctor would still end up with “a backyard” as Eleven called it.

And eventually they would both think that the two of them, together, have the best judgement in the universe and should be treated as gods, and they will stop caring (except about each other, which doesn’t sound good for all the little people who are not part of that relationship, can you say unhealthy?). Or else they will become enemies, the way the Master and the Doctor became enemies. Or they won’t be able to travel with one another indefinitely, the way Ashildr, the Rani, River, Clara, and Romana can’t travel with the Doctor indefinitely. Because it would become toxic for everyone. And they would be back to being miserable, wouldn’t they?

(And – again -  let me finish beating this tiny horse here: if you think Rose Tyler would heal fairly quickly - say, ten centuries in - and warm up to the reality that she has outlived other humans because she is really no longer human, we aren’t thinking of the same Rose Tyler.)

The Doctor would not wish the curse of the Time Lords on anybody, especially not the woman he loves. He would not agree that immortality is the happiest ending for Rose, or even for himself and Rose. There’s a very real chance that immortality would ruin Rose. He wouldn’t do that to her. He loves her.

And here we go, here’s my freaking point - The Doctor loves Rose. So he would give her what she wants, even if it means sacrificing what he wants. Putting her needs before his own. That’s love. She knows that; she was trying to do that for him the whole time!

But what does Rose want? Adventure in the great wide somewhere? No. Rose wants love. Rose wants the assurance of real, true love. Rose wants to love and be loved. And when she finds that, she is darn good at it, and she will do her best to keep it. AND THAT IS ANOTHER ASK FOR ANOTHER TIME, HOOOO BOY DON’T POKE ME- The Doctor cannot give Rose what she wants using himself, or even the thing that will make him happy too, for a time—because to outlive her would be absolutely terrible, and they both know it, and because he will not put her through the curse of immortality. (She doesn’t want to live forever anyway.)

But he can give her what she wants in the form of Tentoo. Are you kidding me? A 100% exact copy of the Doctor? The same face, same mannerisms, same hair? All the memories of loving her and longing for her in his head? And he only has one heart? He’ll grow old at the same time as Rose does? Plus, hi, he actually was born in mini wartime and needs the very influence Rose provided for his ninth self? Come on. What else was he going to do? Of course the Doctor and Tentoo gave her this chance. When Rose asks him “What was the last thing you said to me?” The Doctor could have said “I love you”. He was going to say it. It is canon that he was going to say that he loved her if the connection hadn’t been severed the first time. And for him to say it then, they both knew, would have been all Rose needed to hear. She would have gone with him and Donna and died. Or gone with him and Donna and become immortal somehow, hey I hear there are these random Mire repair kits kicking around out there in the universe, they make people immortal, funny we never saw them before now, I hate you Moffat- But he didn’t say it. He said “I said ‘Rose Tyler’.” And she gives him one more chance to say it. “How was that sentence gonna end?” “Does it need saying?” Well, no, it doesn’t. We’re not asking you to confirm it. She’s not asking you to confirm it. It never needed saying. You both knew it was love. We knew it was love. A hundred times over, it was love on display.

But she is asking him to make a choice—and he chooses to let her go because he loves her.

It’s not a question of love. They give each other a chance, both of them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking Rose had no choice. She asked both of those Doctors to tell her they loved her, and she chose the one that said it out loud, after learning her options. She learned one of them would grow old and was offering to spend forever with her if she wanted. She learned that one of them was genuinely choosing not to say he loved her on purpose.  She made an informed decision. (Yes, she ran after the TARDIS when it left. Wouldn’t you?) The Doctor would agree that Tentoo is the best ending for Rose. Tentoo would agree (because he is the Doctor, and bonus, he gets to have Rose Tyler). Because this, this ending where she gets Tentoo, which is our fancy term for differentiating between two versions of exactly the same man, don’t go there with me-

This ending where she gets Tentoo is genuinely what she always wanted. She didn’t want to live forever. She didn’t want a boring life, but she didn’t desperately want adventure over all else. She wanted love. That’s an adventure anyway. Love. And she loved the Doctor. And she got to have the Doctor, and not lose him, or watch him lose her. And the Doctor, our full Time Lord Doctor, had the assurance of knowing that he did the best he could do for the woman he loved.

(Plus, because yes please, in an official deleted scene which has been confirmed to be intended as canon, Tentoo and Rose have a chunk of TARDIS coral and are growing their own, so they get to see the universe too, so you can’t even complain that all is not as it should be in that sense.) It is sad, because the full Time Lord has to carry on without her (that’s how the story always goes for him, and it should be because without loving and losing, an immortal alien will not have the periodic wake-up call he needs to remember that there is value in people and in relationships and in caring), and it’s sad because Rose won’t see him again, and it’s sad because we won’t really see Rose again. But for her, it is the best ending. It is the kindest, fairest ending. And I think the Doctor would agree.

[theitgirlnetwork]

What Are You Willing To Do?

Ch. 1 : Self-Restraint (Rafe has none)

Milan's Party Outfit

Note: Okay this took forever to come out and I'm sorry. Please let me know what you think. Also something to note, I have an OC who is the main love interest in my JJ story. She is present in this story, but the two stories don't intertwine. Just something for those of you who will read both. I hope you enjoy and I love interacting. I will accept (constructive) criticism. And feedback. Another note, Milan is a little more of a bimbo character than my other ones, she won't be fully lost and I refuse to make her childlike. She just likes to be in the wind and chose a man who handles stuff for her. Also she doesn't have a permanent face claim yet, so if you have any ideas for that, please message them to me! :) Thank you for giving my story a chance, and if you're reading any of my other stories, I hope to be posting more to have some reprieve from the state of the world. Thanks so much!

Warnings: Mentions of sexual conduct, strong language, drug use

“Let’s go, I don’t know why I have to wait for you, we’ve got things to handle today, you’re makin’ me late-”

“Yeah, Dad-” Rafe huffs, jogging his way down the steps, grabbing his jacket off of the coat rack in the foyer. “Well, Sara has been in my shit again so, maybe you could talk to her about that-”

“I don’t touch your shit, no one wants your shit, Rafe.”

“I can tell, you probably brought your bum ass pogue boyfriend in here too, he shouldn’t be in the damn house-”

“Rafe!” Ward’s voice booms, making Rafe’s eyes snap to his father’s obediently, mouth snapping shut. “Do you really think that it's productive for you to waste time arguing with your little sister when I just told you we need to get a move on?”

“Uh,” the younger man breathes heavily through his nose, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides as he glares at his sister over his father’s shoulder. “No, sir.” 

“Alright then.” Ward rolls his eyes, nodding his head for his son to grab the bag on the ground and grab the car keys before turning to address his eldest daughter. “Need you to be home for dinner tonight. There’s a new family moving in a couple blocks over and we wanna make a good impression. That means no fighting,” the older man raises his eyebrows at his children, placing his bluetooth in his ear, “no boyfriends, Sarah,” Ward finishes with a rough pat on his son’s back, “no drugs. Get it? This could be big, Gregory Cabot is big in the oil industry and they might want to…settle here. If they do, we should be their first friends, understand?”

Rafe nods quietly, attentively hanging onto his father’s every word. Taking them in with an intensity that would satisfy any other dad. But not Ward Cameron. “Sarah, they’ve got twins about your age. Make sure you and Wheezie are cleaned up nicely. Rafe,” the 21 year old is met with his father’s rough hand smacking his cheek once, twice, under the guise of an affectionate pat. “Don’t fuck it up.”

“It’s like he uh, doesn’t get it, right? Like I do fuckin’ everything he asks, and I’m uh…I’m the fuck up.” Rafe stammers irritably before sending a powerful swing into the golf ball in front of him, watching it sail off into the distance. 

Topper and Kelce exchange looks as their friend grinds his teeth, grabbing a beer from their cart and taking a deep swig. He’d been ranting about this morning since they’d started on the course an hour ago. Apparently, his father’s comment had carried in Rafe’s mind all of the way through the brief errand down at the docks he’d accompanied him on, followed him to the country club and was going to last the entirety of their hang out. 

“Yeah man, I mean,” Topper begins, “I get it right? My mom’s always on some shit too. Like I screw up everything I do.”

“You do, Top.” Kelce chuckles, lining up for his swing.

Rafe nods along, taking another swig. “For real, like realistically, I do everything I’m supposed to, like I really step up and it’s fuckin’ bullshit that I’m still supposed to act like I’m his little bitch boy. I’m fully a man. I’m focused and shit. Because for real, Top, I feel like if Sarah asked you to come over right now you’d go runnin’ right?”

“Fuck you man.”

“Motherfucker knows I’m right.”

“Kelce?”

“I mean, Top, let’s be real.”

Topper rolls his tongue in his cheek irritably, turning red at his friend’s taunting, “Well, y’all are the ones who lost a girl to Maybank. Angel is glued to his broke ass.”

Rafe scoffs, picking his club back up and practicing his swing. “Yeah, fuck that, that was Kelce’s thing. Angel’s bad, but she’s more like the sister I wish Sarah’s annoying ass was.” 

“Sarah’s just like, young minded, she doesn’t know what she wants.”

Kelce laughs again as Rafe rolls his eyes, the two men switching spots as Rafe goes up for his turn again. “She knows, it’s just not you, man. Maybe that pogue just has better dick than you, Top…or did she ever let you fuck her?” Kelce laughs, turning his head to look up the hill at the juice bar at the edge of the course, squinting at something in the distance.

“Fuckin’ disgustin’.” Rafe huffs, swinging again, smirking as the ball goes directly into the hole, resting the club on his broad shoulder. “If you bitches weren’t so worried about chasing ass, maybe your game would be better.” The dirty blond brags, turning to see both of his friends now staring off into the distance. His jaw ticks in annoyance as he realizes that his friends had missed his impressive swing and ignored his bragging to stare at… “what the hell are you idiots looking at?”

When they don’t answer, Rafe decides to look for himself. The sight he sees is simultaneously exactly what he’s expecting and something he couldn’t have seen coming. 

Standing at the juice bar was possibly the sexiest little thing he’s seen in his 21 years of living. Sure, he’d expected to see a pretty girl. That’s just about the only thing that can get both Topper and Kelce to shut the fuck up for more than two seconds. Their eyes wide and mouths slightly agape, the two men didn’t hide their attraction at all. 

But Rafe, he was experiencing something else entirely. He’d thought she was fucking hot like they did, obviously. But this was a different kind of fine. She had to be new. There was no way that she would have evaded him by now. His cheek dimples slightly as he absently bites his lip a bit, watching the girl lean over the counter, her feet lifting slightly off of the ground, her tiny white skirt giving him a shot of the smooth skin that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on. Rafe’s eyes follow her every movement, like a predator stalking its prey. Intense blue drinking in the dark, shiny, barely shoulder length hair falls out from her hat as she lifts it from her head, smoothing her hand over it before placing her hat back on.

Come on, baby, turn around for me. Lemme see the rest of that body. Lemme see that face.

It’s as if she could hear him. Like she decided to move, position herself, just for his enjoyment, because she turns. She turns and pulls herself up onto one of the barstools with a hop, pulling her shades from her face and tucking them onto the front of her shirt. She’s far, but even with the distance, Rafe finds himself puffing out a breath of disbelief, drinking in her gorgeous features. Full, glossy lips, tinged red, big eyes and a sweet, absent expression.

Next thing Rafe knows he’s making his way up the grassy hill, ignoring the calls of his friends for him to wait up. 

“But, my parents are signing up for membership today.” 

“I’m sorry ma’am, but until you’re in the system you’ll have to pay with cash or card.”

Milan pouts and furrows her brows. She just wanted to have a quick refresher before she met up with her mother at the new house so she’d ridden over to the club with her father. She didn’t really think she’d need money. She never carries cash because she’s likely to lose it and she’d left her card in her red purse, but it didn’t match her outfit so she’d sent it ahead to the house. She could go ask her father for money, but he was in the club owner’s office talking shop and had instructed her to explore while he finished up. “But it’s hot out here.” she whines. 

Milan turns to her right and starts scanning the outdoor bar area, looking for someone who looked friendly enough to spot her until her dad came down and paid them back. She drums her manicured nails on the wood of the countertop, ignorant to the bartender rolling her eyes at the girl. 

Finally, her eye lands on a table with three guys that look fresh off of the golf course. They’re all dressed similarly and just like every other guy at the club. Polo shirt and khaki pants. Two of them wore hats. They looked like her friends from back home. But the third one, he’s the one who gives her pause. As soon as her eyes land on him his shoot over, locking on hers. She straightens her posture a bit under his gaze, offering a polite smile before doing what most normal people do when accidentally making eye contact with someone, looking away. Her bob length hair brushes her shoulder as she turns her head away, but she can’t help but feel someone was still watching her. She decides to turn her head back slowly, trying to be inconspicuous, only to find she’s right. The guy is still watching.

He wets his lip as he tilts his head. His eyes still trained on her as he uncrossed his muscular arms. A small, what seems to be a smile, rests on his lips as he drums his hands on the arms of the chair he’s sitting in, pushing out of the seat and making his way over. One of his friends making a comment about something being ‘fuckin’ unfair’.

Milan fully straightens, tucking her hands under her butt and whirling around to face the bar again as if she hadn’t just been staring back at him. She kicks her feet until she feels a presence behind her? Beside her?

She turns her head and looks up to find the same guy, caging her in, standing slightly behind her with one hand resting on the bar at her side, the other grabbing the bottom of her stool and turning her to face him fully. 

Seeing him up close she can see how cute he is. Pretty blue eyes, clear skin and pink lips. His jawline is sharp, his seemingly blond hair is buzzed short to his head, and a dimple is revealed in his cheek with his smug grin. He’s big too. Tall and muscular, his presence is all imposing, crowding her against the bar and giving her no choice but to accommodate him in her bubble. “Hey.” he says softly, his voice still a deep rumble. 

Milan finds herself mimicking his position, tilting her head to match his, placing her elbows behind her to rest on the bar leaning the same way he was. Missing his eyes dropping briefly to wear the fabric of her shirt strained against her breasts. “Hi.”

“So, you uh, you want a drink or somethin’?” he asks lowly.

“Um..” she shrugs sheepishly, lifting her shoulder in a noncommittal shrug. “I dunno.”

She does. That’s what she’s been trying to do for the last few minutes, but that was before the cute guy was towering over her, taking up her space. He furrows his brow for a second, a smile still on his face as he pushes up a little, whistling into the air, nodding his head for the bartender to come over.

The woman sees the man and immediately sweeps her hand over her hair, smoothing it out and prancing over. “Yeah, yes, hi Mr. Cameron.” She twirls the end of her ponytail, offering him a wide grin. “What can I get for you?”

“Yeah, Erica, get me and the boys some beers and, uh,” the man raises his eyebrows at Milan.

“Oh, Milan.” she smiles up at him prettily before looking back at a very annoyed Erica. “Can I have a peach refresher? Please?”

“She doesn’t have a membership account yet-” Erica starts only to pause when she realizes that the blond hadn’t glanced in her direction since calling her over.

“Then put her shit on mine. Want anything else, sweetheart?” he asks, a heavy hand resting on Milan’s lower back.

“No, I think I’m okay.” she hums, lifting her chin as the bartender rolls her eyes and strolls away. “Thank you, by the way, for covering me. My father will pay you back when he’s done with his meeting.”

The mention of her father has the man recoiling a little, retreating his hand from her with his smile dropping slightly. “Don’t uh, worry about it, aight? So, Milan, how, uh, how old are you anyway?”

Milan works an even wider eyed look on her face, perching herself on the edge of the stool and swinging her legs. “15, how old are you, Mr. Cameron?”

His eyes widen and he takes a large step back, smoothing his and over his jaw, looking away briefly before looking back at her. “No shit? I uh…I’m-”

“Cute.” Milan giggles, hitting his arm lightly, pulling back when she feels the muscles that are barely concealed by the stereotypical polo that he’s wearing. “‘M 20, Mr. Cameron.”

“Rafe.” he says firmly. Milan straightens again when she feels his imposing presence once again, the heavy hand back at her back, spreading warmth up her spine. 

“Rafe.” she repeats.

“Good.” Rafe praises. Milan shifts in her seat at his approval, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion at the feeling she gets from the praise. “You, uh, new around here, or…”

“Yeah, I’m new, just settling in.”

“Right, yeah, and uh…your family just left you all alone, that doesn’t seem fair.” He offers her a small pout that Milan fails to recognize as patronizing. “Wanna join me and the boys?”

“Sur-”

The sound of a glass slamming down on the bartop startles the girl, the splashing of her drink leading her to scoot back, bumping into Rafe’s hard chest. “Three beers and a refresher.” Erica sneers. Milan checks her outfit for juice stains while Rafe tosses a tip onto the bar, an unimpressed look on his face.

“That shit’s not cute.”

Both girls whip their heads to look up at him, a hard look of disapproval has Erica huffing and storming away after snatching the tip from the counter. As quickly as it appeared, the look is gone when Rafe refocuses his attention on the girl directly in front of him.

Milan finds herself smiling again as the man mumbles a short, ‘you’re good’ under his breath as he scans her clothes for any evidence of a spill. Just as she’s going to agree to join them she receives a text from her father. Time to go. “I’d love to, but my father is ready to leave, it’s been a long day for him, I don’t wanna keep him waiting.”

“Nah, we wouldn’t want that.” Rafe offers Milan a hand, helping her hop down from the stool and passing her the drink. “Go on, sweetheart. I’ll see you around.”

As Milan walks away perkily all she can think about is the cute guy she met at the country club. Turning back once to wave her fingers at him and being met with a crooked smile and a nod of the head she flounces off to find her dad. 

And sharp blue eyes follow her skirt the whole way.

The muscle working in Rafe’s jaw is doing overtime as he cocks his head to the side, staring blankly at the wall trying to temper the rage boiling in his stomach as Ward carries on screaming in his face. 

Apparently if he didn’t have anything better to be doing, he should have been shadowing his father today instead of golfing.

Apparently he was a dickhead for even thinking he’d be sitting at one of the seats at the end of the table because that’s where the head of the house sits and he doesn’t run shit but his mouth. 

Apparently he was a poor excuse of a man for not knowing why Sarah was late and Wheezie’s dress wasn’t perfectly ironed, because how the women in the house look and act is a reflection of him and more importantly, Ward. 

So Rafe stood there. And he ate that shit. Nodded quietly, eyes squinted, internalizing every slight, every insult, and making note.

He counted every book on the bookshelf in his father’s office until he felt his jaw being gripped and forced over to face Ward. Then, he started counting the wrinkles on his face. 

The verbal lashing didn’t end until Sarah came barreling in, her straps to her dress barely on and her hair combed for fucking once since getting with that fuckin’ bum. But Ward softens. He redirects his attention to tell his daughter she’s beautiful and thank her for coming. And then he points a warning finger in Rafe’s face before storming out of the room.

“Where the hell were you?” he asks his sister through gritted teeth. 

Sarah rolls her eyes, pushing past him. “Don’t have to answer to you, Rafe.”

It takes everything in him not to put his fist through a wall.

So, yeah, one could say he’s a little on edge. Sitting on his father’s right because the guest of honor, Mr. Cabot deserves the seat on the left, that’s where food gets served first. Rose sat on the opposite end, where the second host sits which will also place her closest to where Mrs. Cabot will likely be. Ward is at the head because where the fuck else would he be? And Rafe is in the seat on the right. The seat where the food will get served last. The seat where the youngest in the family is supposed to fuckin’ sit which anyone who has any kind of knowledge of etiquette would know. Which Rafe knows because he’s proactive and he fuckin’ learned it. Because he knows every aspect of running a household, not that Ward would acknowledge it. 

He needs a fuckin’ bump. 

Or a blunt. 

What the fuck ever the wine ain’t cuttin’ it. 

But Ward is watching him like a hawk and clearly won’t tolerate him disappearing to find some peace no matter how brief and slick he is about it. 

So instead, Rafe’s leg jumps under the table. And his fingers drum on top of it. And he works his jaw irritably.

“You need a nicotine patch or something?” Wheezie asks, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“C-could you actually shut the fuck up for one second?” 

“You’re such a jerk, Rafe, she’s a kid, Jesus.” Sarah huffs. “When’s this family supposed to be coming anyway?” 

“Asking that repetitively is not going to make them get here faster.” Rose groans, rubbing her temples. “Honey-”

“They’re here,” Ward calls, retreating from the door, snapping his fingers and pointing toward the sitting room for Rafe to get four scotches ready, and sitting in the seat in the corner of the room. “Ladies?”

“We’re going.” Wheezie whines, following behind Rose into the kitchen and carrying in the dinner that they were pretending Rose and Sarah made as Sarah goes to the foyer to wait for the bell to ring. “But this little routine we have is really sexist.”

“Don’t screw this up.” Ward sneers under his breath, as he takes his glass from Rafe.

“Dad-”

The ring of the doorbell has everyone falling into their roles. It all starts without a hitch. Sarah pulls the door open with a bright smile and sickeningly sweet greeting. Rafe tries to tune in to the fake conversation his father started with him when they heard the footsteps in their home multiply. 

“Oh! I’m a mess, nice to meet you, I’m Rose, please come in. Sweetheart, why don’t you go with Sarah and Louisa while I show your father to the sitting room. Then us girls can really get to know each other.” Rose plays her part easily, her heels clacking against the floor, the sound getting closer as she chatters away to what should only be the couple and their son now that she’s dumped the girl off with Sarah. “Your daughter is just beautiful, really, you’re going to have to watch her on this island.”

She says that to everyone. 9/10 it's a lie. 

“Your daughters are gorgeous too. You must have your hands full.”

Sounds like Mrs. Cabot knows the game too, usually people don’t get a word in while Rose is running her lines.

“We keep our eyes peeled, but our girls just aren’t doing the dating scene yet.” No, Sarah’s too busy laying on her back for dirty pogues to date someone worth mentioning. A little money doesn’t change status. “Ward, darling, our guests are here.”

And that’s our cue. 

Like they’ve done many times before the two men stand, Rafe watches his father’s movements carefully, making sure to always stand tall, and one step behind him. Ward takes 2 steps, Rafe takes 1. 

The man entering the room behind Rose was tall. Only a little shorter than Rafe. Broad and appearing stern. He guides his wife in by her waist and Rafe quickly looks away from the older woman. She’s attractive, and if it was him, the last thing Rafe would want is his potential business partner’s son eyeing down his wife. The man holds out his large hand to Ward first, the two of them shaking firmly. “Gregory Cabot.” 

“Ward Cameron, good to meet you.” Ward gestures behind him for Rafe to enter stage left. “And this is my son…”

“Rafe, uh Rafe Cameron, nice to meet you, sir. Ma’am.” he says, shaking Gregory’s hand and squeezing the appropriate amount. A craft he’d perfected during the early days of doing these. 

“Good shake son.”

The comment has Rafe standing at his full height, biting back an accomplished smirk as his dad glances back at him with a look of approval. 

“Handsome young man, too.” the older woman hums. 

“Thank you, ma’am.” Rafe offers her a polite smile to appease his father. 

It’s all a part of the game. This little back and forth. It breaks the ice, and Rafe is the sacrificial lamb for it everytime. Gregory would say:

“Don’t be tryin’ to seal my wife there, boy.”

Pause for laughter. 

Then Rafe would say something like, “if I was a couple years older I might give you some competition, sir.”

To which everyone would laugh and Ward would swat him with strength that varies depending on how the interaction goes. 

Rafe has this little dance down to a science. 

It was going well. Really, it was exactly how it should be, and going quickly too. Rafe was desperate to get this part over with so they could handle business, make some money, and he could celebrate by going to a party he’d heard about earlier. 

But then she came in. And suddenly this was something entirely new.

“Dad, I’m gonna go to a party with Sarah after dinner. Can I have some money?” 

There she is. Her shapely body draped in a silky green dress with pretty pink roses, her manicured fingers already outstretched toward her father. Glossed, rose petal lips pursed as she waits for the bills to be placed in her hand. 

Milan. Rafe forces his eyes away from her, feeling two warring feelings flood his body as he wills himself to keep his eyes on her father instead.

“Without Milo?” Gregory asks. 

Milan rolls her eyes to the ceiling, huffing and crossing her arms over her chest, pushing her breasts upward and causing Rafe to work his jaw lightly. “‘M grown, Dad.”

Ward would never tolerate that tone…neither would I.

“We’re in a new place, your brother’s away on business-” Rafe can immediately feel his father’s eyes burning holes into the side of his head. 

Milan’s eyes slide shut as she takes a deep breath, retracting fully and turning to leave the room. She was so caught up she didn’t even notice Rafe. It aggravated him. Spoiled. She’s spoiled. 

I can fix that. 

Eventually they get dinner started and it’s like the interaction hadn’t happened. Milan sat through the dinner and acted her role accordingly. She introduced herself to his father, which clearly had impressed Ward. She made her obligatory conversation points, but mostly chatted with the other women at the table. When Rafe pulled out her chair, she smiled at him prettily but aside from that, gave him no indication that she recognized him from earlier. 

Rafe tries to focus on talking shop with his dad and Gregory, but his eyes keep wandering back to Milan’s mouth on her spoon and the little hums that leave her mouth. 

The damn ice cream ain’t that fuckin’ good.

“Uh, yeah, I’ve been trackin’ the macro model for crude oil and uh, I, I’d wanna know more.”

“That’s great son, yeah, it takes time, but it seems like you're on track, maybe I could put you in contact with one of my buddies that does the numbers for me, then you can run them with your dad and I.” 

Rafe’s on fuckin’ fire. He’s killin’ this shit, and he’ll be deep in those Cabot pockets in no time. But all he could think about is the man’s pretty little princess perched on her chair a couple seats down, pouting as Sarah raves about how fun this party is going to be to Milan and Wheezie.

None of my fuckin’ business. 

“Sounds really cool, Sarah.” the girl smiles behind the metal spoon, sighing wistfully. 

Don’t do this shit man, Ward’s gonna kill you.

Her final sigh and last scoop of vanilla ice cream being spooned into her mouth through plump glossy lips is what does it.

Fuckin’ weak, Cameron. Over some pussy?

“Uh, Gregory, I’m goin’ to this party too. I’m takin’ Sarah, there’s no reason why I can’t keep an eye out for Milan too.” 

If looks could fuckin’ kill. 

Ward is staring Rafe down with a look that would have a weaker man retracting his offer immediately, but the bright smile that plastered across Milan’s face made Rafe stand his ground. 

Gregory is simply pensive. His eyes flick between his daughter and the Cameron siblings. “How old did you say you were again?”

“21, sir.” 

Gregory’s brows furrow as he looks Rafe over again, before turning to Ward. “Reminds me of my boy. Protective over his sister and her friends. Good stuff, Cameron.” He turns back to Rafe with a menacing look on his face. “Back like I sent her, Rafe.” 

“Of course, Gregory.” 

The older man couldn’t have known what he just allowed.

“Fuck, Sarah, how long does it take?”

“I didn’t even want to ride with you, Rafe, John B. could’ve picked up me and Milan-”

“Yeah, well, her dad put me in charge of her safety, Sarah, and actually, Dad put me in charge of yours, so-”

“Oh my God, don’t act like…like you’re doing some noble thing, okay? I know why you offered to take us, cause you leave me all the time-” 

“You don’t know shit, alright, Sarah?” Rafe groans, backing out of his spot and turning out of their street.

“I know plenty, and I know you’re tryin’ to fuck Milan.”

“So what?”

“So what?” Sarah tosses her hair angrily, shifting in the passenger seat. “So, you’re fucking nuts, and she’s actually a nice girl. So, Dad’s doing business with her dad, that’s so what, Rafe.”

“I like, genuinely don’t need you telling me shit about shit Sarah, like for real.” 

“I really hope her brother is fucking huge, so he can kick your ass.”

Rafe snorts, slowing the car down a little and turning down the music as he pulls into the Cabot’s neighborhood. “Yeah, maybe right? Cause God knows your little pogue bitches have tried and failed.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah, love you too, sis.” Rafe looks at the large house found at the address that Gregory had given him and unbuckles his seatbelt. “Get in the back seat.”

“Are you serious-”

“Back seat, Sarah, Jesus!” He huffs, slamming the car door and making his way up the walkway, stopping on the freshly laid cobblestone when the heavy, double wooden doors swing open. 

“Bye, Dad, I’ll see you later!” 

If Rafe had thought the dress Milan had on earlier was something, this skimpy number she trots out in would test any man. The girl absently twirls in her outfit. It’s a white two piece set consisting of a long, see-through skirt, barely hiding her white bikini bottoms and matching cropped top. His eyes trail along the dips in her waist, catching on the dimples on her back before finding the matching ones on her cheeks. All he could think is how perfectly his thumbs would fit in both sets of dimples. “Hi, Rafe.” 

He tilts his head back, openly staring down at her appreciatively. “Don’t you look cute.” 

With the shy smile that overtakes her face he all but expects the girl to melt under his gaze. Rafe is pleasantly surprised when she lifts her shoulder before brushing past him to make her way toward the car. “Thank you, I know.”

He chuckles to himself as the heels of her sandals clack on the cobblestone and stop just before the passenger door. Milan purses her lips without even considering touching the handle, rocking on her feet and swinging her purse absently as she waits patiently for him to come open it, just smiling when Sarah calls from inside the vehicle, ‘it’s unlocked.’

Rafe doesn’t know what moves him. Normally, he left girls to hoist themselves into his car as he hopped in himself on the driver’s side. But he could tell, this girl didn’t even conceive that she should be the one to open the door. No, she expected him to help. To care of it. And used her pretty little grin as his payment once he gets the picture and pulls the door open and offers her his hand to settle her into the seat. “You uh, you comfortable?”

She’d already pulled down the mirror and was reapplying the lipgloss Rafe was determined to taste, humming absently to herself. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” 

Not a thought behind those pretty eyes, huh?

I like that.

Milan watches out of the window as they pass by trees and grassy nooks. String lights twinkling as they ride by, people selling produce on the side of the road. The salty smell of water in the air through the open window. She could see Sarah in the backseat, smiling to herself as she texted on her phone. Milan’s own phone lights up as she receives the girl’s message. The two of them had really gotten along when they met at dinner earlier. She wasn’t expecting the blonde girl to be so kind and welcoming. The entire family had been really kind. Wheezie was a cute kid and Rose seemed like every other tired housewife in their world. A little fake, but ultimately harmless. Ward seemed strict like her dad. He seemed to grit his teeth angrily at almost everything his family said, only to offer a wide smile when her own dad seemed pleased, or at the least unbothered. 

And Rafe. Rafe was…cute. Hot, he’s hot. He’s handsome and tall, and can talk to her dad about all that business shit she didn’t give a shit to try and understand. And he’s attracted to her. Milan can tell. His eyes were shooting between their fathers and her the whole dinner. She felt the intensity of them even as she reapplied her lip gloss, as she chatted with his sister, when she’d taken a selfie as she leaned against the headrest, posing both for the camera and him. 

But for some reason he’s wound so tight. As hot as it is, it can’t be healthy how frequently that muscle in his jaw jumps, keeping in rhythm with the bounce of his leg and the drumming on his fingers. Milan’s eyes flick across his movements and her lips part as she considers asking him if he was okay. Her voice catches in her throat when sharp, blue lands on deep brown and his brows raise as if he were asking a sarcastic ‘yes?’ When she shrugs lightly, smiling in return, he sends her a smirk before turning his gaze back to the road, peeling off at the light and turning up the music playing on the speaker to drown out his sister’s chatting. 

Milan blinks at the heat she feels on her face and refocuses on her phone, opening her messages from Sarah. 

Sorry about my brother. He’s a dick. When we get to the party you can hang with me. :)

The party was apparently at some house on the beach. Young adults were filling the walls of the building, spilling out onto the sand and grass. The music booms in the night air, and the smells of salt and weed fills their lungs.

Sarah pulls Milan along, their arms looped together as she guides her away from Rafe as quickly as possible. The man is clearly disinterested in following, offering Milan a brush on the shoulder before stalking off toward the back of the house, calls of his name in greeting following his arrival. 

“Oh okay, yeah, my friends are in the kitchen, c’mon.” Sarah tugs her the rest of the way, leading Milan to the dark kitchen over to a crowd of people. She recognizes one of the guys as the guy on Sarah’s phone. John B. she said his name was. Apparently, normally, Sarah stays with him at his house but Ward had asked her to come around today to meet with Milan’s family, and she did it because they were trying to ‘rebuild their family’. “Hi.”

John B. turns to her immediately, a grin spreading on his face as he pulls Sarah to him, effectively separating her and Milan. “Hi, baby.”

His loud blond friend with his arms draped around a pretty girl with brown skin peaks his head out from behind them, pausing mid story, and drunkenly causing his girl to stumble with him. The girl follows his gaze and offers her a kind smile, pushing the blond by his face, laughing at whatever he’s mumbling in her ear. “Hi,” she calls over the music. “I’m Angel. This drunk dumbass is JJ.” She huffs, as he gives Milan a wide grin and nod before guiding Angel’s face back to his.

The tall guy next to him is flanked by a shorter light skinned girl and a girl pouring shots, laughing with Sarah, calling her a lightweight with a thick accent. “Cleo. You want one?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a shot.” Milan shrugs. Her eyes squeeze shut as the liquid slides down her throat, burning it and her mouth. She shakes her head, before letting the warm feeling spread in her belly. A hand on her elbow grabs her attention and has her looking over her shoulder. 

“Come dance with me.” 

It’s some random guy, already tugging her toward the crowd of moving bodies, not waiting for her reply. “Oh, no thanks.” Milan plants her feet, stumbling a little against his pulling. 

“C’mon, you don’t like to dance?”

“No, I just don’t want to dance with you.” Milan chirps, glancing down at her nails to make sure he hadn’t made her accidentally knock a gem off. She watches as the guy’s face shifts from shock to a deep frown. He roughly releases her arm and storms off. She takes a couple steps back to where Sarah and her group are standing, seeing all of the couples wrapped into each other. The light skinned girl reaches her hand across the island counter to get her attention.

“You good? I was about to make my way over. The guys on this island are entitled assholes.” 

“Yeah, that’s guys everywhere. It’s never the cute ones that come to you, huh?”

“Nah, it’s generally the creeps and losers who feel bold.” The girl laughs. “I’m Kie, Kiara.” 

“Milan. Do you feel like dancing?” 

Kiara shrugs, mumbling a ‘why not’ glancing back at her own friends before taking Milan’s hand and leading her toward the sea of people dancing. Milan twirls Kie as they step onto the makeshift dance floor smiling as they begin dancing together. The two girls take turns spinning each other, holding each other’s hips and guiding their dance. Milan can feel several pairs of eyes on them as they rock against each other, the base of the drum in her ears and chest. But her eyes only searched for one set in particular. She allows Kiara to turn her and flips her hair out of her face. And then they are. Steely blue. 

Rafe blows smoke from his nose before licking his thumb, flicking through the stack of cash Kelce had just shoved into his hand. “Aight.” He nods, reaching his jacket pocket and producing a small bag of coke. He’d been giving Sarah and Milan space. For one, because he genuinely does not give a fuck what his hoe ass sister does. If she doesn’t give a fuck about the Cameron name then she could take that dirty pogue’s. On Milan’s end, Rafe was exercising self-restraint. He knows that now that they’re away from their families it wouldn’t take long for him to crack. She’d looked fucking gorgeous earlier that day, and even more so at dinner. Now that they were at a party, and he could take a fuckin’ second to breathe outside of Ward’s scrutiny…he’d break eventually. He was relying Sarah to keep her busy and away from him so he didn’t end up fucking her and fucking up the deal their fathers were trying to work out. 

“What the fuck? That’s it?”

Rafe’s brows furrow as he looks at his friend. “Yeah, you fuckin’ druggy, told you I needed to go see my supplier. Your fiend ass didn’t wanna fuckin’ wait, so take it.” 

“Shit.” Kelce scratches his head, scooping out some of the white powder and leaning forward on the couch to line it up on the coffee table. “Hey, that’s the girl from before right? At the club?”

Rafe looks up to find Milan across from him in the other room. He watches as she twirls and rolls her hips against Kiara’s. Her shiny dark hair bouncing from shoulder to shoulder and her pretty lips mouth along to the song that’s blasting throughout the house. He runs his thumb over his bottom lip as he watches her movements, completely unaware of the group of girls trying to flirt with him and offer him a bump on the couch next to him.

When they lock eyes her smile grows even brighter and his own becomes wolfish. Her movements become even more daring, she dips low, arching her back before coming back up quickly, flipping her hair and rolling her full body. Her hands cover Kiara’s on her hips as she puts on a show for him.  

Rafe chuckles darkly under his breath as he drinks her in, sitting back against the couch comfortably as if he’d paid for this little performance.

It all ends too quickly.

The song changes and Kiara leans into Milan’s ear, murmuring something and making a smoke motion before heading toward the sliding door in the kitchen. The girl is gone for like a few fucking seconds before the fuckin’ loser bastards that had been lurking around them pounce on Milan. Crowding her, trying to usher her into a dance. 

She pushes up onto her tiptoes, looking over some guy’s shoulder to regain eye contact with Rafe, an offer in her eyes as she motions him over with her finger. 

Shaking his head and smirking, Rafe pats his knee, challenging her. He cocks his head slightly to the side when she gently shakes her own head, and gestures for him to come to her with a single finger.

“Rafeeee, you got anymore?” A whiny voice calls to him. 

Right. He was supposed to be moving weight. Damn girl is distracting him. “Uh, yeah, I’m low right now, so I’ve only got baggies, aight?” 

“That’s fine,” the girl says flirtily. He rolls his eyes as he feels her hand on his knee. “You have discounts for pretty girls?”

His eyes drag back over to Milan and his jaw immediately clenches. She’s still facing him, but this time she had someone decidedly less acceptable in Rafe’s eyes clutching her. He watches as some prick who he used to play league basketball with when they were fuckhead teenagers basically nutting on Milan’s back. Rafe’s lip curls as he watches the girl dance for this guy. He couldn’t even think of his fucking name. Milan catches his eyes again, looking at him through her pretty lashes, shrugging absently. Seemingly completely unbothered by the goddamn loser basically humping her like a dog. Rafe feels his head swim dangerously and his stomach turn as he watches weak hands trail along her perfect body. Her brow quirks at him once before she turns in the guys arms, turning her back on Rafe. 

“Rafe?” The girl to his side looks at him questioningly, briefly trying to follow his gaze with her drug-addled brain, giving up and leaning on him again. 

“Uh, right, I’ll give it up for $200.” 

The girl’s eyes widen as she looks back at her friends who gesture for her to try again. She smiles at Rafe and tilts her head toward him. “Um, how much if we can hang out a little upstairs after?” 

“Oh shit.” Kelce chuckles, sniffing and wiping his nose. 

Rafe rolls his eyes. He’s so used to girls offering to sleep with him or suck his dick for drugs. Usually they at least ask him to give it to them for free, this girl was gonna fuck him for a discount. He rarely takes advantage of it, on doing it if he was trying to hit anyway. Really, he doesn’t have to exchange free drugs for getting his dick wet. Fuckin’ look at him.  

Right now, he wasn’t really in the mood for random pussy. Not when he literally can’t fucking see Milan in his line of sight anymore. And that fucking idiot that was grinding his dick on her was fucking gone too. He needed to look for her ASAP. “You got the $200 or what?”

The girl huffs and digs in her purse, dropping the money in his extended hand and snatching the bag off the table, grumbling ‘asshole’ under her breath as she and her friends stumble outside. 

As soon as Rafe pockets money he goes to shoot off of the couch to hunt Milan down, only to be stopped before he can fully stand. 

“Is that cocaine?” 

Milan’s sweet voice puts him on red alert. Rafe settles back into his seat and looks at her. She’s staring down at the table worriedly, wrapping her arms around herself as she stands in the doorway. “Was that guy a friend of yours?”

“You didn’t wanna dance.” she pouts.

“Okay?”

“And I wanted to dance.”

Brat. “So you, uh, just dance with some random dick instead?” He asks, giving her a disappointed look and relishing in the way she shifts under his gaze. 

Interestingly enough, even with his glare, she doesn’t back down, pursing her own lips and sitting on the arm of the couch. “Jeez, you’re strict, I feel bad for Sarah. Is that cocaine?”

“Yeah, I just provide a little party favor for my friends here and there. What, you want a bump?” He starts to test her limits, resting a large, warm hand on her thigh, feeling her through the thin fabric of her skirt. Careful not to move and startle her. 

“I don’t do coke. D’you?” 

It’s her wide-eyed look. The dimpled frown as she glances back down to the white substance on the table. She gives herself away to him easily. Milan is a good girl. She’s just a good girl who knows she’s pretty. That’s what the whole dance was about. She was being cute. That’s what she does. But she’s not really about shit. Daddy’s girl with a protective older brother. Two dragons guarding their little princess. Never had anyone tell her no and mean it. If Rafe used the logic in his brain, he would know, he’s too much. What he expects of the girls he hooks up with. God forbid dates. He’d turn this pretty little thing out. He should be nice, and leave her alone. 

But Rafe isn’t a nice guy. Not really.

“‘Course not, can’t get high on my own supply.” He smoothes a thumb over her knee. “Don’t worry, Princess, it can’t jump off the table and get you.”

Kelce snorts and Milan’s brows furrow. Rafe whips his head around to his friend, nudging him sharply and sending him a silent message. “Oh, uh, I’m gonna get another drink. I’ll be back.” Rafe sends him another look. “Or I won’t.”

As soon as Kelce gets up, Rafe scoots over on the couch, holding one of Milan’s hands and guiding her onto it with him. “That was one of your friends from earlier right? At the country club?” 

“Yeah, Kelce, he’s a fuckin’ idiot.” He says absently, reaching over and grabbing the blunt he’d abandoned when he’d started dealing, re-lighting it. “You don’t smoke weed either, huh?”

Milan shrugs, scooting closer. “I just don’t know how to do it by myself.” 

God she’s just fuckin’ perfect isn’t she? Rafe hangs his head, letting out an exasperated laugh. It’s like she was sent as a test. She’s already bad as shit, she’s just sitting here, damn near in his lap with her big fuck-me eyes and wide-open personality. She knows she’s sexy and that’s just about it. But her dad let her go because he was supposed to be responsible. That’s big money on the table, and Ward would fuckin’ kill him if he was distracted by the opportunity to hit on the literal oil baron’s daughter. “Figures, pretty thing like you can’t do anything by herself. What, you need me to light it for you?”

“I’ve only ever had someone shotgun it for me.” She says.

Rafe’s hand is at the back of her head, fist in her hair before he can even realize what he’s doing. He pulls her close, tugging her against him and halting right before she hits his lips. He brings the blunt to his own lips, inhaling the smoke before leaning even closer, drunk on the way she’s looking at him. “Yeah?”

When she gasps out a breath, offering him a little nod, already puckering her plump, lips for him.

Fuck it. Rafe thinks. 

He could be a responsible man for his dad tomorrow.

[bullet-prooflove]

Send me a made-up fic title and I'll tell you what I would write to go with it

You Did All Of This...For Me? But Why? Why Would You Do That?

Tagging: @kmc1989 @topmagtiger @ireadfanfictionontheweekends @flopiboni @evee87

Nolan doesn’t celebrate his birthday, he hasn’t for a couple of years now. People think it’s because he hates the idea of getting older but the truth is there’s never been anyone special in his life to share it with. His relationships have always been casual and his friends are the type you talk law review with, they’re more likely to stab you in the back so they can hijack your case than raise a glass to your success.

When he walks into his office that morning, he doesn’t expect the balloons tied to his chair, the birthday banner strung up across his book shelves or the brightly coloured confetti sprinkled across his desk. There’s gift bag perched in the centre of his desk alongside a cake with his name written neatly on it.

He finds himself smiling despite himself because he knows exactly who the culprit is.  He’d let slip by accident that he had a birthday coming up and you’d been appalled that he was going to spend the day like any other. You’d coerced him into dinner that evening, somewhere expensive on you. He’d tried to protest but you weren’t having any of it.

He spends the rest of the day with a lightness in his chest because all of this, it’s evidence that someone cares about him, that someone wants to put their time and their effort into him.

“Why? Why would you do all that?” He asks you over the best pasta in New York that night. “I don’t understand why you would go to all that trouble.”

“Yea you do.” You say, your eyes locked on his as you take a sip from your wine glass. He shakes his head and you sigh as you set the glass back down again. Your hand comes to rest on his, thumb chasing over the hollow of his wrist as you lean in close and say.

“I’m in love with you Nolan, I thought you would have worked that out by now.”

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