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I was reading a post about CoTG and I realized: Rick has seemingly started to write every character pairing with the exact same dynamic, and he's not good at writing that dynamic and it doesn't make sense for 90% of the characters he writes it for.
It's that very specific dynamic of one half of the pair who is almost aggressive to the other party - "teasing" them constantly/insulting them, affectionately punching/judo flipping/maiming/etc, seemingly almost always exasperated with the other - and said other party usually just accepts this treatment or blanketly views it fondly, and may generally be framed as more incompetent than their partner and a little bit of a doormat (particularly relating to being insulted/teased/etc by their partner).
We start seeing this dynamic in HoO with Percy and Annabeth, as a sort of semi-inconsistent twist on their rivals-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic from the first series. Then the dynamic pattern develops further with Leo and Calypso. Then Magnus and Alex. Then Nico and Will, particularly in TSATS. And now in CoTG, it's Percy and Annabeth again but even more in this direction.
I know people have talked about Nico and Will's relationship over the series rapidly being shoehorned into Percabeth Twoā¢, and it's extremely apparent in TSATS that Rick's doing it on purpose (including directly quoting Percabeth scenes but minorly tweaking them to be Solangelo). But recognizing it as an overarching trend in Rick's later books honestly reminds me a lot of how Rick started trying to apply the "Percy Formula" so-to-speak to nearly every protagonist in HoO (and then try to replicate similar character archetypes with Magnus and Apollo's narrations - moreso Magnus in being jaded and sarcastic, very much trying to be first series Percy. He only sounds unique because Rick failed at making him Percy 2. Apollo is more akin to later-series Percy characterization of being goofy and incompetent. Apollo [and Zeus] even got retconned to give Apollo a more similar backstory to Percy's). Rick seems to have decided that he thinks the audience wants this specific dynamic but 10 times over, except he's not good at writing it the first time because it's a bastardization of the time he did a different thing okay.
And Rick also seems aware of that too! Because he retconned Calypso and Leo at the end of TOA, probably because he realized how absolutely awful it was reading when they were written with that dynamic of Calypso just functionally hating Leo and constantly being aggressive towards him! The only time Rick's actually made the dynamic even semi-successful was with Magnus and Alex, because it actually fits within their characters, their dynamics with each other, and their environment. Alex beheading Magnus on the regular works out fine because there are no repercussions to that in Valhalla, Magnus will be fine, so it does genuinely come off as humorous. And Alex has been effectively established to be abrasive at times but have her genuine feelings shine through regularly, and that meshes well with Magnus' jaded-and-aloof-but-quietly-very-empathetic character. And Magnus has been established to, yes, not be great at combat, particularly compared to Alex. They are the only time that flavor of dynamic in that form was effective and cohesive.
Percabeth is no longer rivals-to-friends-to-lovers badasses on equal levels with shaky pasts who finally found some form of permanence with one another. Now it's super smart doting and affectionately aggressive girlfriend and her silly goofy 50%-of-the-time incompetent boyfriend who she judo flips/pushes off cliffs/etc - but affectionately~! Solangelo is trying to riff off of the early series "Poseidon & Athena are enemies" dynamic that Percabeth had but with Apollo & Hades being "opposites" but learning to accept each other, except it ends up with Will just coming off as a huge asshole and Nico being retconned to a complete doormat about it - when prior to that those characterizations would be completely contrary to their established characters (even just from TOA!). Calypso in HoO gets retconned from her PJO characterization to being snooty and aggressive, and Leo's false persona gets merged into his just normal personality except he just also becomes a doormat but more goofy than Nico with occasional haha-dark/depression-humor! Which Nico also got. Which was also a bastardized Percy trait that got redistributed.
It's exhausting. Rick write more than one relationship dynamic you can do it I promise
#pjo#riordanverse#percy jackson#tsats#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#will solace#mcga#magnus chase#alex fierro#leo valdez#calypso pjo#analysis#< bwah i feel bad putting that many tags but it is relevant#rr crit#< i guess?#tsats crit#< that one can be here though. the other crit tag is usually for Bad Stuff ergo why i feel weird putting it. this one's just random stuff#i feel like i should tag ships too cause it is an analysis of those ship dynamics in canon but i dont want it to come off as shipbashing :(#eh fuck it i'll ship tag. disclaimer- this is not shipbashing i am just doing analysis of how rick is bad at writing this specific dynamic#i am tagging these ships for relevancy and analysis purposes only. i do not intend to be mean about them re: fanon#fierrochase#percabeth#solangelo#caleo#i do think this is good to note though with writing these dynamics - like rick's intentions vs execution vs consistent characterization#i think you could also argue Carter and Zia exhibit some traits of this dynamic? like an early form of it in Rick's writing perhaps#i havent reread it in awhile though so i will save my thoughts on it for later#long post //#forgive if this post is semi-incomprehensible it was a quick late night rambly thing
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BLUE PENS ARRIVED !! here is death note fan art
also please for the love of god click for hire quality i need u to look at my details
#putting the closeups first bcz they kinda. look better. every picture i take of the full image scrubs out some details#also this IS lawlight. if u look close enough#i know this is gay ship art but please notice my Themes and Motifs#art#my art#death note#lawlight#l lawliet#deathnote#death note fanart#deathnote fanart#death note fan art#light yagami#fem!light yagami#fem!l lawliet#not that u can tell#fem!light#fan art#fanart#yuri#yea im tagging this as yuri. what about it#toxic yuri#that tag came up when i types yuri an i thought. well. yeah#primary colors#primary color art#doodles#abstract doodles
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klapollo baseball/photographer au
#klapollo#ace attorney#apollo justice#klavier gavin#apollo justice ace attorney#um so basically. you know that line in turnabout succession where apollo talks about passing notes to a crush#well in the jp version he references baseball#and fun fact: in highschool i did all of the yearbook coverage for one of our softball teams. which was an insane thing to assign to a baby#gay such as myself#so this spawned from a combination of those things#so if weāre being very technical this is a high school baseball player/yearbook photographer au. but high school aus arenāt really my thing#so they can be older idk i didnāt put that much thought into it
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I really truly, from the bottom of my heart, hate you bitches so much, because on the tiktok of literally COCK AND BALL jokes w brittany broski, there were a few notes/messages like this:
And I KNOW you don't think anyone's going to check. You had someone go into your askbox and say "hiii brittany broski is shitty about palestine she's really ignorant :/" and you went oh omg I didn't know!! thanks for telling me! So I checked! This is in reference to her talking in her podcast, because people were asking why she hadn't done any big press statements about Palestine, you didn't retweet this or that, you must not care, don't you care, what's your stance, etc etc please say more OKAY COOL. So what's going on there? What did Brittany say on her podcast? Is she a Bad Person? Can I have some transcript, please? ____ "Hey guys, before we get into this week's episode, I want to talk to you about the ongoing and prolonged suffering and loss of life in Gaza, in Israel, and the oppression of Palestinian people widespread. I don't ever want it to be a question that I would ever not be against the oppression of any group of people, that I would ever stand on the side of the oppressor." "There was a lot of fear of misusing my platform." ... "I will admit that I was nervous to talk about it, because I don't want to say the wrong thing. And this is too fucking serious of an issue to misspeak, or to spread misinformation, or to speak over or for someone." ... "So I want to take a moment on my biggest platform- which is this podcast, to say that I stand with the people of Palestine, I stand for the liberation of Palestinian people." ... "Every day, to log on to social media, and be just inundated with graphic, unimaginable violence, and loss, and grief, it's just--There are no words." ... "And I feel helpless. That's part of it too, when you feel helpless, the last thing you want to do is talk to people about it-- but visibility is a resource in and of itself. And I can offer that." ... "The outpouring of rage and passion online, and anger at what's happening, I would argue needs to be dedicated and focused on our elected officials. We live in a democracy- albeit an inherently flawed one- we live in a democracy where we have elected officials who were elected and put in power to represent us, and if we feel misrepresented, if we feel underrepresented in foreign affairs? These officials have public phone numbers and emails. There are scripts available online to express your disdain and your rage, and unfortunately that's one of the only ways we'll see actionable change."Ā Ā "If you expected more from me, it's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to center myself, this needs to be all eyes on Palestine right now, where the real activism is happening. I would encourage you to follow journalists that are on the ground, people who are in Gaza, we need to be listening to them. I would also hope that we're at a point in this conversation where I can express my desire to stand in solidarity with the people of Palestine and that NOT meaning or suggesting or condoning anti-Semitism of any kind. There's a rise of anti-Semitism and islamophobia in the United States and it's just-- it's disgusting, and it's scary, so I want that to be said too. I just wanted to share that I am experiencing part of this collective sense of helplessness and hopelessness-- but it DOESN'T HAVE to be hopeless. I'm going to include a phone number in the description of this episode where, if you don't know the name of your senators or your Congressman, it's never too late to learn, and you can reach out to them." _______ Hm. What a bitch!! Yeah, just so ignorant and uncaring. Obviously she's not keeping up with anything. Should've retweeted more shit ig!
#sergle.txt#I will turn off reblogs on this so fucking fast I swear to god. I have a gun. I needed to complain about this#up in my notes and my asks bc you already didn't like somebody and you believe what ppl say on anon indiscriminately.#so what I'm hearing is she didn't talk about it enough / didn't put out statements soon enough. I see.#basically a criminal offense. she should get the electric chair ig#god I mean. if my thing was comedy and I had a big audience I don't think I'd know how/when/if to do basically a#Press Conference on Literal Genocide or if I should not make it about me and my thoughts? but do shit in the small ways I can#what do you even say... I think what she said here makes sense. but maybe I'm not reading it with enough bad faith#like oh my god. OH MY GOD#so no I'm not gonna delete the clips I posted what. the fuck are we talking about#''she was frustrated on ig stories that ppl were messaging her to put out a statement'' yeah... yeah. frustration. in response to so much#bad faith directed at you. hundreds of thousands of people all saying shit At You like it all rests on you#and being told to say these words so if you say them they will be empty. myeah what a bitch basically#I personally would not experience a human emotion in response to this.
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Sparks tour 2023
#I thought it would be nice to put all their photos from the tour in one post because I love seeing them all together :)#(there were so many though - I sadly had to leave 5 photos out)#best tour. 10/10. zero notes. <3#everything I could find from the tour that was already posted has been reblogged ^^ (if I missed any of your posts: let me know!)#a little explanation about the archive (maybe I should write a proper thing on how to navigate it sometime):#I've tagged posts with the city things happened in so you can find them that way through tags#posts have additionally been tagged by date following the format Month Day Year like so: june 16 2023#if you are on desktop or using a browser you can click the link I put above & it'll lead you to the archive of all the posts from the tour#I still have a lot of things to add (including my own tour experiences) so I'm not done with tour posting!#I'll post any new posts the normal way and in a week or so I'll send them back in time so they'll show up at the right dates in the archive#End of PSA!#sparks tour 2023#sparks tour 2023 photo#2023#sparks#russell mael#ron mael
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We're learning about grouse hunting together!
I was really undecided on whether I wanted to hunt with Rory for realsies because I don't have a shotgun and I don't really care to get a shotgun (I have a gun license from my time up north). I have a small air rifle and a tactical slingshot (both legal for hunting small game in my area) so I've been taking those for walks in hunting areas, along with all my permits and stuff, just to see what we see.
This grouse woods is in the same corner as my swamp, just a different part of the rec area. You can legally hunt small game during the open season with dogs with some restrictions (certain distance from the parking, some trails close for hunting on a rotational basis for maintenance, etc.) but it's not terribly popular so it's a really good area to learn. We are looking for ruffed grouse and rabbit, both of which are super common out here.
With pointing dogs like britts, you generally don't want to shoot any game unless they're pointing steady (*except when doing gun conditioning, but that's a specific training set up) - it makes sense because a shot bird is the ultimate reward and you want to make sure you're reinforcing the behaviour you want, which is usually a safe steady point. Rory isn't pointing steady yet so there's really not much for me to do on these walks besides reinforce good manners (recall, how far she ranges, etc.).
There's a really well known saying in pointing dogs, which is wild birds make bird dogs. Wild birds flush (fly away) much more reliably than farmed birds so the chances of a dog catching a wild bird is really minimal compared to farmed birds. It's super important to get young bird dogs on wild birds as much as possible so they learn all the important skills: how to navigate terrain, what habitat holds birds, what each bird species smells like, how far they can range, and most importantly, that they need a person to actually get a bird.
(Most of these skills can be taught with planted birds in training, but planted birds may be more habituated to people and dogs so they might not flush reliably. Once pointing dogs learn that they can catch birds themselves, it's much harder to foster a strong stop and point. You might see people using these tip ups, which protect the training bird from the dog. You'll often see training dogs on long lines (called check cords) or with a flank collar to reinforce not getting too close to the bird, but you have to phase those out quickly so the dog doesn't become dependent on them. You also have to be really careful with scent trails when setting up planted birds or you might end up with a dog that follows your scent instead of looking for birds organically. And of course, you have to train without birds sometimes so the dog doesn't get discouraged about not finding birds quickly because sometimes there just aren't birds out there. Lots to consider when setting up training!)
Anyway I've been trying to get Rory out on wild birds as much as possible (with the caveat that we don't run wild birds during nesting season) so we're wandering the grouse woods lately. My early recall training is really paying off because she's been super reliable in terms of good manners, it's wonderful to see!
We've been out four times (1-2 hours each) so far since the season opened. The first two times we're mostly just a pleasant walk in the woods, Rory didn't really know what we were doing so she was just vibing (THIS IS TOTALLY FINE, SHE'S NEW TO THIS). We had a couple chance grouse encounters and I could see the wheels turning, I encouraged her to sniff around where the grouse were sitting before they flew off and I watched her start to connect the dots.
(It's important to remember that dogs don't know what they're looking for until you show them. Most bird dogs are naturally birdy, but they don't know which birds are good and which birds are boring! You have to show them which birds you care about - this is easiest if you can run with an experienced hunting dog, but you can do it alone like I am by making a big deal about any interest in the "correct" birds.)
The last time we went out to the grouse woods, she did a couple of really nice whip-arounds when she caught scent she liked and followed scent off the trail I was walking! This is the behaviour I want to see so it was awesome to watch it start to click! She trailed a moose (don't want that, she found some moose pee to roll in so whatever), a pileated woodpecker (again, don't want that but it was cool to see), and two separate grouse. The first was on the wrong side of the fence so I couldn't do anything about it but she held a really nice point (the photo) and I gave her a ton of chicken and praise for it. The second was a quick point but it flushed really far away so there was no finding it again. Both birds weren't visible when she found them, they were true scent points and she was strategically looking for them so that was super cool!
She's still in heat and super sensitive right now so I wouldn't shoot over her anyway, but I'm getting pretty accurate with my slingshot so I'm hoping we can connect on something this fall - both for her pointing steady and me aiming properly. She gets more steady and more sure of herself every time we go out so it's only a matter of time!
#rory borealis#about aurora#bird dog training#dogblr#this is a long one!#its pretty rambly about my thoughts about grouse hunting training so far#one real issue im having right now is how gear-sensitive rory is#she will happily wear a regular collar (or an ecollar - shes conditioned to wearing it but i dont use it on her yet)#but i cant put a bell or a belly protector on her without her freaking out#it makes her super shut down and upsetti and it sucks#ultimately its not a big deal because she ranges appropriately and i can have eyeballs on her at all times#but i would like her to wear an orange belly protector for these kinds of outings because its hard on her body#i have to revisit gear desensitization once shes done her heat#ive never had a dog that was this avoidant of gear tbh#on the note about gear:#rory has exceptional recall especially for a young bird dog#you'll notice im running her naked without an ecollar or gps collar#if youre following along and want to train your dog for grouse hunting PLEASE use appropriate gear for your dog#dont ruin the privilege of running dogs on public land by not having reliable control over your loose dog#i really dont gatekeep most of the areas i run my dog - i am so so happy to give local people recommendations on where to run#but please please please dont be the person who ruins it for us#i dont say this to be rude like live your dream#but consider the ethics and the privilege of having access to these areas and how easily they could be taken away#(sorry thats a rant but you get it)
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i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.
#im not saying astrology/tarot/crystals/etc. get clowned on so much bc theyre hobbies mostly enjoyed by women But....#i saw a post about some astrology study and made the mistake of opening the notes on that bad boy#not fun. and that reminded me of that old post that was basically like ''liking astrology is transphobic''#anyways idk maybe its just that my bestie is very much a ''crystal girl'' but like. stuff like that are such neat hobbies#she makes some cute little jars with pretty rocks and they make her feel better bc if you believe in something you can make it happen#when it comes to small things#like yeah if you pick up a stone that's like ''this can help you be more open with your emotions'' and you are like ''oh hell yea!''#ofc that will be on your mind and the item will be a constant reminder and actually help you with your goals#and its like. ok what really stuck with me was when i was talking with my bff and i was like ''i think all this stuff is interesting but i#feel bad bc i am superstitious and believe in some signs like lucky numbers but i know that logically its just. if i pick a lucky number of#i pay extra attention to it but i want to believe its lucky but i know how human brains work in that aspect''#and she was just like. ''so? those things dont have to exclude each other'' and it clicked#if i have a little tigers eye with me it does not make me feel more grounded magically#but if i decide (or believe) it's grounding then it will b bc it's a reminder for me to calm down#and stuff#like. ah idk how to put my thoughts into words#but i just think its unfair that a few rotten apples have ruined the perception of fun hobbies for a lot#not every astrology enjoyer is trying to sell you mlm essential oils or genuinely believe peoples entire lives are dictated upon the stars#or something#idk i just feel like these things are v misunderstood even tho im not personally like super into them myself#but ppl super mean about that stuff arent invited to look at my medieval themed fortune telling cards#idkk im sleepy and cant articulate my points someone else say this but better#leevi talks#im just saying. i dont think its bioessentialism to decide to believe you personally have a season for growth when the stars are in a#certain position or whatever
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that heās the one who saved scorpus from his momās pimp AND that heās intimately familiar with scorpusā dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we donāt need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now theyāre Colleagues. putting the ābecause i canā moment#into a WHOLE different light bc itās very much a āyou no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because itās not YOU. because weāre notā#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we canāt talk about that right now I see it but thatās not what weāre here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the āI know u#best of anyoneā of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby youāre so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I donāt even really want you anyway š and scorpus KNOWS Itās bait however. heās gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and itās very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ādivorced and arguing but itās foreplay to threaten to#leave each otherā so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared theyāre gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenaxās throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and thatās all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments itās so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND ITāS AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then yāknow. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we canāt talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where sheās just like āfreaks. right in front of my salad?ā and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything heād want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I donāt have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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for the ask game (3)
au where all robins develop a mental link after fighting some magical criminal of the week. what would they see in each other's minds? what secrets and repressed feelings do they discover? how would they deal with it?
for the ask game!
oooh, i love telepathic links that end up revealing secrets. especially with a family like the Batfam, who are usually so convinced they're good enough at reading each other to not have many secrets kept. so weird reveals are always fun
if i did this, i'd do DamiTim. just because of all the like, "deep dark feelings that are being hidden" for Robin shipping, DamiTim is the most fun for me. you expect DickTim or DickJay or JayTim, even DamiDick. but there's something that's so enjoyable about Damian having his feelings forcibly outted. not just to Tim, but to everyone. the way it'd be an active landmine none of them knowing what to say but all feeling each other's reactions. i honestly think Damian would try to punch somebody about it. (also, if you do a history of TImSteph where they've had sex, Damian would be directly linked to Steph's memories of how Tim was in bed, so that's fun as both something horrifying and enlightening just to screw with his feelings some more.) would they end up together? in my head probably, but it'd be weird and likely toxic bc how do you date someone you know inside out and know exactly what they think of all your flaws and what parts of you they obsess over. the answer is not very well but hey, the sex is good-
i think Jason *directly* feeling how everyone felt about his death would really rock him. he's heard all the apologies, but part of him isn't convinced there's truth to them. so to be crushed by Dick's *grief* over his death would be a come to jesus moment for him. but on the less fun flipside, you have him feeling how Dick feels about him *now*. because Dick doesn't really *like* Jason and deep down, sees Jason as a lost cause. that's his "deep dark secret". and Jason would feel and know that from the one person who he still wants to believe in him. i really do think Jason would have the Worst Time with all this, overwhelmed with everyone's intimate and complex feelings over his death. Jason is a very defensive person when it comes to his death and how reactionary he gets when other people make it about them, not him. so for Jason to have to constantly deal with that in his head, i truly do think he'd lash out a bit. the arguments. yelling at Dick and feeling Dick's guilt and snapping bc Dick has no right to feel guilty now. feeling that Tim viewed Jason as a failure. it's just a damaging mindspace to be in and man do i think Jason would take a While to recover.
oddly though, i think it'd be a good bonding moment for Steph and Jason. we really don't get much exploration of Steph and Jason bonding over dying. bc sure, Steph didn't actually die, but she *did* experience the social death where everyone believed she was dead and mourned her as such for a good while. she also felt *directly* responsible for her own death. a lot of blame falls on Steph for War Games (for the Doylist reasons of sexism but yk) and Jason feels responsible for his own death for walking into a trap. but unlike Jason, Steph had no suit in a case, no memorials, her name held no infamy. so i think she deserves just a bit of righteous fury about how dramatic Jason can be while she just has to move on bc hey, it's not like she *really* died. and she buries those feelings well, but not well enough to hide them from a mental link. and Jason, who hasn't really considered Steph before because he was so wrapped up in his complex over Tim, confronts those feelings with her. if anyone is going to know how he feels, it's going to be her. you could do it platonic or romantic, but i do think when Jason sinks to his lowest, she's the one who snaps him out of it, both with tough love and genuine compassion for his situation.
for the less serious crack of it all: they're all going to have far too intimate knowledge of each other's sex lives. everyone's gonna know Dick has fucked Slade. everyone's gonna know Jason has fucked Talia. in my heart, i believe Tim has slept with Anarky (Lonnie, not Ulysses) and everyone would *know* that too. absolute judgment all around. it's the spider-man meme of "wait you've done WHAT with WHO" and honestly, it gives a nice distraction for the more serious feelings. it's a palette cleanser they can default to. like when the fighting gets a little too serious and they're cutting too deep for comfort, someone's going to blurt out "well at least i didn't fuck Deathstroke." and the whole moment goes awry with laughter. bc i do think, at the end of it once they get through the worst of the angst, they'd be closer for it and self-aware of the ridiculous nature of all this. it's enlightening, in a way to see how they all felt about their time as Robin and the baggage/trauma they hold. even the ugliest feelings they hold for each other don't completely suffocate the fondness/respect.
that said, knowing the baggage/trauma. oof. i don't think Dick has ever fully opened up about his history with Mirage/Tarantula/Liu and now it's forced to sit in the open. Damian has never admitted the worst of being raised in the League. Tim hasn't fully faced the suffocating image of his dead father and his deep-seated want to kill Boomerang. all those ugly truths they stamp down bc well, either you're a vigilante or you're a well adjusted person, are out in the open now. and it's ugly and gruesome to force those thoughts to be shared. they all want to comfort each other for different reasons, while simultaneously not wanting their own trauma to be acknowledged. it'd be fun to see who'd instinctively react to whose trauma first. because it's an overwhelming rush of information, and you just naturally get pulled in certain directions. i think Damian would react to Dick's history of sexual abuse first, whereas Jason would be reacting to the murderous rage TIm is trying to fight off. Tim is reacting to just how much guilt Steph carries about War Games and all of it is very crunchy. there's so much they'd all have to talk about and it'd take days for them to address it all, between the arguments about the ugly parts. would they come out stronger for it? yes. but only if they didn't kill each other in the process. i hesitate to do a "and they come out one big happy family" ending, bc it's not very in canon, but i do think the bond of the Robin mantle is something special. even when the link is broken, they hold onto a freakish understanding of each other. they react and move in sync, can fight together without needing words. are they emotionally on the same page/have they forgiven each other for the worst of it? absolutely not. but they've got each other backs. it's a very much "if you called i'd drop everything to save you. but also we don't have it in us to hang out casually." bond, which i think is deeply underrated in fanfiction. sometimes, you can care about people but you have to do it from a distance.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#potential jaysteph#sladick#batcest#i actually really love this. i might try to write it.#like there are SO many complex interpersonal things happening and god it's good.#also writing this reminds me of tags you put on the post about batfamily fanon#where you said you shipped jaytalia noting how I critiqued it in the meta#and i never got to clarify but i do actually think jaytalia *could* be fun#it's just one of those ships that falls into the āi love the concept but i don't think i'd enjoy it in canonā category for me!#esp the way it was handled in lost days bc it dropped out of NOWHERE and felt ooc given talia's motivations#and i love shipping it but *only* using it for a ājason fucked damian's mom jokeā always irks me bc. lord get new material yk#those are my thoughts on that anywya#this is so crunchy. forced mental links as a plot device. aways so good.#like the end result would be messy as fuck but in a loving way#the batfam can love each other fiercely without having sitcom movie night type moments yk#bc their bond isn't domestic it's shaped by their vigilante lives#they know each other as vigilantes first so like. they struggle to connect as normal ppl even if they love each other#and know each other that personally#it's nuanced. it's fun.
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#please accept this humble offering while i continue to struggle putting my threads thoughts into words#i have like 10 long ass posts in my notes but the words are not wording#about to start a reread tho#can wait to be unhinged again#rumour has it that lila bard is actually the softest baby in arnes#sheās so in love and who can blame her#the fragile threads of power#threads of power#fragile threads of power#adsom#a darker shade of magic#shades of magic#kell maresh#lila bard#kellila#delilah bard#v e schwab#tftop
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šø happy uncneen pepinursteppermint wintereve š¬ ā¤ļøāš„
ā¤ļøš¤ + ft. how i think my styles would say HYH
#;careless watcher: turn your gaze upon this wretched thing.#thats the face tag because i love to laugh#thank g0d i am not in the field i'm in right now because i have to go through extensive therapy because now i can take insane#pictures of me with no remorse LeTSSSSSS GOOOooOOo#bc i nuked my blog i do think this post is between me and *apathetic spiteful kenny n fratboy fuckb0i clydvc* the G-MAN#but either way *rs doing the sexc raven voice and trying to badly conceal his identity and woo jk vc* usually i get...#~wined and dined~ before strange boys make themselves at home in my lap so god: take notes; i want honey walnut shrimp#not me in the goth edgy boy x basic jewish boy thotmn before ncu stan season ravenstanley beanie the jersey gold s#stan necklace and the sun moon earring and the big comfort nina stan earring and the eye dot sakdhlaskd can you tell i'm#using my fanfic to cope? helpsajdklj rip i have been wearing fake reading glasses and wearing the glass heart necklace#to microdose being both the boys at the same time when i am out in public so i can relax sdhk rip AGAIN its helping me thinks#but it goes against the letter spelling in sign language but i think rock on/ily peace and rock on ily is the style scribing HYH#either way its my birthday i was feeling euphoric or manic or insane or all three and now i have bangs and i am drinking#the peppermint beer to cope with my 13k fanfic and my 150+ page blog being deleted and losing all 100 followers on here#and all my fanfiction followers in a grand mal level panic attack :( so we all ( like 3 ppl ) have to cope with my weird face#and my lame gen x peace signs and gigantic scary foreboding eyeballs and strange behavior for tonight and tomorrow#where i will drinking to forget and rewriting remember fML but i am excited bc its gonna be extra good now even if its just#for me -- as it should be: but whoever is here and along for the ride pls know i'm thankful for you and my birthday tomorrow#is also yours: you mean everything to me...also i might make a holiday playlist just to laugh -- also should i pierce my nose?#peppermint stan era? i have been thinking about him a lot ( no nyquil i promise ) that and my eyebrow...many rstan thoughts#i am drafting their outfits at the moment and it is giving me so much Joy; they are so FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIONE LIKE MAAAANnN#its a spoiler but i am putting rm: relit ravenstan in the ~Save Rock: Fuck A Rockstar~ tanktop bc i love to laugh#you don't even need a match that man LIGHTS IT UUUP BITch#hOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO woO wW z AAAAh#he really is my MAAAN i love him so bad AND ohmyGOD jkyle in the bif columbia sweatshirt & 2014 messy tumblr girl bun?!??!#sCRUMDIDDLYUMpCIOUSSSSSSS HIT ME BABY /ONE/ /MORE/ /tImE/ KSDHskldh hOOOoooOoOo K.O. kNoCKAHWT#JERSEYKYLE CAN BEAT MY ASS ANYTIME FREE OF CHARGE: i will pay him in easy a bitcoin or target giftcards like his lil boytoys do ;)#EloHIM if you WWWWWWWWWWWWWILL and he won't call you lmaOOOOooO ( he is my problematique fave: he rlly is xx )#wASTE THEIR TIIIIiiIIIIIIIIIIIIME JERSEYpICKMECHOOSeM--#anywaYsss alexa play the pop punk cover of dancing queen ft me taylor swift half white girl swaying sipsy in the M0sh P1t <3
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designed yokai au kiru today and then Promptly realized how tiny the matsus are compared to her in this au and now im giggling
#my art#ocs#au#kiru#i hope my notes on the full ref image are legible but if not please let me know! i tried to put a good amount of thought into her design#so id like for my brainwaves to get across. but if not ill type them out later#also dont worry she can still turn into a 10-meter tall skeleton like the actual gashadokuro. or maybe Do worry#no real lore for her yet but we'll get there. i just thought this au would be fun to design for#and then it took me 4 hours and a dinner break! so!#maybe not That fun#in particular im still on the fence about her facial markings. i wanted them to look like a skull#but i dont know if they look that good. i didnt wanna make it too detailed because then theyd stand out TOO much#but how do you do a minimalist skull that isnt ugly. you feel me#WELL! i wont dwell on it
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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Extremely Sketchyā¢ fallen london OC mockup page because i had to share my vision. behold. the scoundrel. left being normal design notes and right being future design notes in which they are decidedly more furry about it all. any questions
#their pronouns and gender are whatever you can guess at the time#yin art#fallen london#they're fineeeee they're so normal they're Soooooooooo normal. dwbi.#i still have yet to complete hearts desire the bat is mostly just to put my mental image on a page#dont talk to me about anatomy it is a myth and i am a fraud#tbh the scoundrel would make for a really good dramatic final boss sort of enemy in a video game. they have the pizazz#are they even accurate to victorian london era clothes? idk. maybe they took notes from the devils#i have a lot of thoughts about them. they'd be the villain in someone else's story without even realizing it. stupid little rat
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There is a very exquisite agony in playing a game you love so so so so so much, and realizing that one of the other players is trying to play a totally different game than you.
#hush frenchy#we went to the coffin shop today in vallaki#and our rogue triggered combat SIMPLY because he didn't want to leave the house without looting every single room#to clarify: WE HAD ACHIEVED OUR OBJECTIVE#we literally just needed to get out#but the rogue's player was like cmoooon its no fun to leave without looting everything we can get our hands on#now everything we're doing has gone to absolute shit#and to clarify: its going to be very interesting!!#and I feel like I would've been just fine with the result#IF it had been for any other reason besides that this one player seems to think that we're in a video game#like if there had been some kind of character motivation? or genuine concern that we were missing a piece of something we were looking for?#totally fine!! love that in fact!!#but just stealing shit because 'you're the rogue' feels... idk.#it just feels like it's a totally different game than the rest of us are playing#and now we ALL have to deal with the consequences#i just. urgh. i do not know what to do#i am gonna talk to the dm and see if she noticed the same thing as me#and try to brainstorm we the players can do to impart a sense of balance for people with different play styles#but i just feel like despite repeated efforts by the dm to be like hey this is a game for exploration and character engagement#the player is just ignoring that and doing Whatever He Feels Like#ANYWAY SORRY RANT OVER#I'm just really in love with this game and having one really thorny part is just HNG#positive note: the wizard whipped out alter self and thought he was the coolest guy in the whole world#despite repeatedly missing in combat#it was very cute and i wish Wyn wasn't absolutely certain that she was about to die#because she would absolutely stroke his ego about it simply to see him preen#the fighter was also very sweet and keeps working so hard to protect wyn#and since I'm a fighter in my other game i know where to put myself to make it easier for him so there's a lot of synergy#IT'S JUST VERY CUTE AND NICE AND GOOD. I LOVE THEM BOTH A LOT
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it andā¦ Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasnāt it shown more often !? ITāS FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came outā¦#A motherās love ? Shouldāve called this āIām gonna fuck you upā#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I canāt recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fireā¦#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slowerā¦? I donāt know maybe Iām just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeahā¦ I thought it would never endā¦ Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Donāt do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think iām losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head inā¦ Iām willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#Iām almost done. Itās finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#Iām thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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