#i can put my notes and thoughts about it

[vaguely-concerned]

rookanis really is like... first base is you walking through the haunted ruins of my mind to find me in an act of breathtaking psychological intimacy with added tam lin undertones. second base is baked goods (cautious erotic connotations). third base is deicide. THEN we kiss. also second deicide of course once you pop it's hard to stop

[aroaceleovaldez]

I was reading a post about CoTG and I realized: Rick has seemingly started to write every character pairing with the exact same dynamic, and he's not good at writing that dynamic and it doesn't make sense for 90% of the characters he writes it for.

It's that very specific dynamic of one half of the pair who is almost aggressive to the other party - "teasing" them constantly/insulting them, affectionately punching/judo flipping/maiming/etc, seemingly almost always exasperated with the other - and said other party usually just accepts this treatment or blanketly views it fondly, and may generally be framed as more incompetent than their partner and a little bit of a doormat (particularly relating to being insulted/teased/etc by their partner).

We start seeing this dynamic in HoO with Percy and Annabeth, as a sort of semi-inconsistent twist on their rivals-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic from the first series. Then the dynamic pattern develops further with Leo and Calypso. Then Magnus and Alex. Then Nico and Will, particularly in TSATS. And now in CoTG, it's Percy and Annabeth again but even more in this direction.

I know people have talked about Nico and Will's relationship over the series rapidly being shoehorned into Percabeth Two™, and it's extremely apparent in TSATS that Rick's doing it on purpose (including directly quoting Percabeth scenes but minorly tweaking them to be Solangelo). But recognizing it as an overarching trend in Rick's later books honestly reminds me a lot of how Rick started trying to apply the "Percy Formula" so-to-speak to nearly every protagonist in HoO (and then try to replicate similar character archetypes with Magnus and Apollo's narrations - moreso Magnus in being jaded and sarcastic, very much trying to be first series Percy. He only sounds unique because Rick failed at making him Percy 2. Apollo is more akin to later-series Percy characterization of being goofy and incompetent. Apollo [and Zeus] even got retconned to give Apollo a more similar backstory to Percy's). Rick seems to have decided that he thinks the audience wants this specific dynamic but 10 times over, except he's not good at writing it the first time because it's a bastardization of the time he did a different thing okay.

And Rick also seems aware of that too! Because he retconned Calypso and Leo at the end of TOA, probably because he realized how absolutely awful it was reading when they were written with that dynamic of Calypso just functionally hating Leo and constantly being aggressive towards him! The only time Rick's actually made the dynamic even semi-successful was with Magnus and Alex, because it actually fits within their characters, their dynamics with each other, and their environment. Alex beheading Magnus on the regular works out fine because there are no repercussions to that in Valhalla, Magnus will be fine, so it does genuinely come off as humorous. And Alex has been effectively established to be abrasive at times but have her genuine feelings shine through regularly, and that meshes well with Magnus' jaded-and-aloof-but-quietly-very-empathetic character. And Magnus has been established to, yes, not be great at combat, particularly compared to Alex. They are the only time that flavor of dynamic in that form was effective and cohesive.

Percabeth is no longer rivals-to-friends-to-lovers badasses on equal levels with shaky pasts who finally found some form of permanence with one another. Now it's super smart doting and affectionately aggressive girlfriend and her silly goofy 50%-of-the-time incompetent boyfriend who she judo flips/pushes off cliffs/etc - but affectionately~! Solangelo is trying to riff off of the early series "Poseidon & Athena are enemies" dynamic that Percabeth had but with Apollo & Hades being "opposites" but learning to accept each other, except it ends up with Will just coming off as a huge asshole and Nico being retconned to a complete doormat about it - when prior to that those characterizations would be completely contrary to their established characters (even just from TOA!). Calypso in HoO gets retconned from her PJO characterization to being snooty and aggressive, and Leo's false persona gets merged into his just normal personality except he just also becomes a doormat but more goofy than Nico with occasional haha-dark/depression-humor! Which Nico also got. Which was also a bastardized Percy trait that got redistributed.

It's exhausting. Rick write more than one relationship dynamic you can do it I promise

[chaozfantazy]

I need to shoutout the Chance player who shot his flintlock at me (Telamon) because I walked up behind him and scared him apparently

[basket-of-radiants]

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

BLUE PENS ARRIVED !! here is death note fan art

also please for the love of god click for hire quality i need u to look at my details

[crescentrivers]

Realistically I can’t think of a place to add Pokotho himself to TGWDLM that wouldn’t feel forced (maybe there is one though I’m not an expert on this or anything), so I hope they just hint towards his existence a little more and don’t try to actually have him show up outside of being the hive, but if he did show up… what if they got meta with it

Cause TGWDLM is the meta hatchetfield show, it’s the one where the musical numbers are diegetic and characters acknowledge they’re happening, they even acknowledge the audience at the end. And the actor who played Pokey in NPMD is the same guy who plays Bill, you know, Paul’s best friend. And what happens then if Paul has an interaction with the singular voice and he realizes they have the same face…

Actually if blue guy did show up I bet they’d make him a puppet cause I’m sure the kickstarter will get them enough money for one puppet. But please think about the implications if he was a human played by Corey

There are various implications this could have depending on why they look similar. The easy one is that Pokey did it on purpose either to make Paul less freaked out or freak him out more (which it would freak him out more either way, the question is if that was intentional or not). Alternatively if Pokey isn’t actually taking human form it could be explained as Paul’s human brain trying to process whatever he actually looks like, and landing on that, for some reason. But there’s a third option I think could be cool

If Pokotho and Paul interacted in this show I’d assume by this point Paul would be beginning to get infected himself? So he can sort of understand the perspective of this higher being, whether he wants to or not. Maybe it’s not that him and Bill actually look that similar to Paul’s eyes, maybe in his reality they have different face or nose shapes, and they certainly don’t have the same look in their eyes. But from the a perspective of a god so much bigger than humanity, human faces blend together. He can tell them apart, but mentally they’re all the same to him, noisy, annoying, forgettable, erasable. Even someone like Paul, the supposedly special star of this show, doesn’t stand out. Paul realizes that now, to someone like him Paul really doesn’t look that different physically from the camp counselor boy, or the only lawyer in town, or that highschooler with the anime shirts, all people who are in the hive now. Now actually as identical in mentality as they seemed to him.

Would it really matter, if they actually looked the same or not? Him and Bill, Paul and all those people he never really knew. Everyone’s the same now afterall, whatever’s left in Bill’s body is him. Paul is a few seconds from being him too, he’s not special, not anything more than what any of the hive’s victims had been. But he was allowed to get this far, partially because he was that ordinary and unremarkable, partially because he didn’t like musicals.

He shouldn’t be anything more than another indistinguishable face, but if that thing wants a show, he can give it to him by trying (maybe pointlessly) to destroy it.

[taigarrryen]

You know these tropes in stories where if you lose your soulmate you're left forever yearning for something just out of your reach, forever searching for something you can never find? That's me, JRWI Riptide is my soulmate. Send post

[embv]

I think everyone’s subscribing to the “Helena Infiltration Theory” WAYY too quickly. I kinda feel like a lot of the oddities in the way she was acting could be chalked up to something else, and defaulting to “that’s not Helly” feels a lot like… I don’t know, like brushing off character flaws by saying, “No, [X] is possessed! That’s not actually them!”

I’d probably buy into it a bit more if she didn’t have that moment in the halls with Mark where she fervently said, “We’re not the same, actually. Us and the outies, we’re not.”

There are reasons why Helly would want to lie about her identity, and chief among them is the fact that she hates her outie—desperately wants to place distance between them, desperately wants to convince herself that the person she saw wasn’t her.

But there are compelling reasons for both angles, and I can’t say that I won’t be scanning future episodes for hints to either prove or disprove this, so… cheers, 🥂.

[carmillatism]

but genuinely, how do i begin to describe emcee in cabaret? they're a character, sure. a lead in this musical with multiple main characters that all have something to say. but they're... not that exactly. they're a character that you can invoke the name of and analyze, and whose name proceedes the credits to the name of an actor. however, they aren't just a character. they're not even really a character. at least, not in a way that a character is normally a character.

they're everything, which also makes them nothing (in the way of a normal character). they're every person in the world along with the world over. they're ideologies and concepts and political policies and an entire group of people. they're metaphors stacked on metaphors. but it's not like, "oh, this character is fulfilling 3 different metaphors at the same time". no, there's more like an infinite amount of interpretations of who they're standing in for. they're a metaphor for absolutely everything (at least contained in 1930s germany, but no musical- no media- stays solely in the time it's about nor the time it was made).

they're the bad, the good, the totally neutral. obviously, much of their focus in the musical is embodying fascist ideologies, especially the rapidly growing ones in the early third reich. however, they also specifically fill in for sally in i don't care much (and could generally be filling in for the ignorant german populace). but in the end, he also fills in for those persecuted in the holocaust, and he does as such in the entire musical.

he's this idea of the weimar republic's general openess and liberal nature fizzling out but still being alive in certain places even as the third reich comes to power. but they also represent how that identity can then be facilitated to aid the nazi propaganda at the time and bolster the third reich's beliefs. there's an idea there that emcee is the way far right movements will co-opt leftist presentations as a way to normalize their beliefs in a society that wouldn't normally accept them.

but even then they're not just the bad, not just a metaphor for nazism. they're also the daily people and the relationships they form. they're there when schultz and schneider first sing together and are more supportive than anything (though i do have something to say about how they can still encapture the early steps of fascism in that scene) and there's the points where he is just another person at the cabaret or where he's more idea than person.

emcee isn't just a metaphor for fascism nor are they a truly physical character in the musical. they're a presence and a representation of every person, identity, ideology, belief, and group, and the world at large, all in one person that is constantly changing and morphing to represent these people and things. (this is especially noticeable after their switch from expressing sally's feelings in i don't care much to switching back to their master of ceremonies persona when introducing sally back to the cabaret (which is another metaphor for fascism and/or ignorance but not getting into that), especially as indicated by the long seconds of silence as they transition from the end of that song right into cabaret.)

anyway, emcee is a concept as much as they are a character, and they're less a character and more a presence felt by every character, every audience member, the whole world over, throughout (and after) the musical.

[fisheito]

🤔thoughts about chp 16😎

the absolute audacity of making huey hot

he could have been older lookin or surprisinglynot a beautiful twink

he could have been [WHAMMO!!] exact same face as rin and eiden (THREE CHEERS FOR REUSABLE ASSETS YEEPHIEPPHYURRAY!!!!!!!) and that would have been deliriously funny to me but, ok, fair enough, deliriouslyfunnytome is probably not the tone they're going for in this chapter

wouldn't it SUCK to be rin? imagine being born and IMMEDIATELY burdened with immense knowledge.

that's tOO much. baby wants to nap, not desperately hope for the eventual happiness of my literal other half in an unknown dimension

my thoughts about rin before were: dang, u a creepy lil guy!! ok!! don't know what your deal is!!!!!!!

my thoughts about rin now (not much different): dang, u a creepy lil guy!! but you got some weirdly altruistic (definition very very confusing here. is it really altruism if it's still sortabout you?) ultimate goal as your Deal!!! well, at least i feel safe in knowing that you do NOT aCTUALLY want to mind merge with eiden! you just want his happiness????

inevitably i'm going to go back and reread every chapter just to read the rin monologues with my Refreshed Knowledge

pretty sure he'll be consistent in his "i just wish for brother's happiness" but of course it makes sense that he's going about it in a way that NO ONE ELSE understands

to be fair there's not a lot of precedent . so. it's not like. this is a common situation that everyone would understand immediately

except for GARU, EVIDENTLY

*holding up the puppy to the skies* BEST PUPPY!!!!! UNDERSTANDING, FULL OF EMPATHY PUPPY!!!!! KING OF BEFRIENDING EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DISPENSES KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM WITHOUT JUDGEMENT ! OR EXPECTATION!

maybe a little expectation. but you wouldn't want to crush those expectations though, would you? who would want to let down the puppy?????? those BIG OL EYES.....

actually, if garu has the scary piercing blue eyes of a husky i might reconsider. that would be a little menacing. intimidating, and suspicious, even.

will have to make sure garu's eyes are JUST the right shade of blue in my drawings to not reach the Scary Piercing Threshold.

eiden cries, and i cry

eiden suffers, and i suffer

i am taking eiden into my tiny arms and embracing him but for a second because i know safety cannot be found in my hold

and also because the little brat is stubborn and has Tasks to complete that he will noT abandon, especially when everyone's happiness is at stake

god, he really is just the Definition of Essence and Life Force. So full of vibrant, punchy life........

EIDEN I LOVE U

i know you'll beat this JRPG and come out victorious on a path not predetermined by God and Plotlines

you're genre-savvy, right? you've played plenty of those games, right? the ultimatum gives u 2 options

and everyone else is falling to despair

but you, the fourthwall-shattering protag, will do things the way YOU want

and that will somehow be enough to twistturn the world's rules around you

you WILL be happy

and you WILL keep your harem safe

you'll probably even add to your harem (+1 rin)

he's really like, you are an Entity separate from Me and i want you to be You

Rin be like ??? ?????? ???????? ?? ? ? ????????????????

(Huey's skill at following orders was genetically inherited and overcame any potential budding source of Selfhood. Eiden will have to work to instill that)

the ILLUSTRATIONS AT THE ENDWITH ALL THE CLAN MEMBER FIRST MEETINGS ARFOISWEDJFJIKDASKJDLDFLS

i saw those and was all "OMG! FREE ILLUSTRATIONS!!!!! *grabbing them like i'm at an AYCE dumpster dive"

i mean. technically the rest of this stuff outside those specific drawings is Free but. you know what i mean.

i did not expect NEW ASSETS and PRETTY PICTURES uwahahahahah!!!! excellent!!!!!

i heard the "can u like, not treat me like a sack of potatoes plsthx" as soon as i saw quincy's first meeting piC LOL too memorable. potato sack eiden beloved

thank u to the artists for finally making that pose Canon for yakumo (i have been imagining him defaulting to that distressed princess on the ground pose , but could never quite materialise it. BUT NOW!!!! IT EXISTS!!! FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!)

eiden with oli like LOL I'M KIDNAPPING YOU and oli going o! um, ! sure ok! (edmond screaming NO in the background)

still mad about pretty huey, 4 paragraphs later

have i ever talked about huey? i don't think i have

well, now that he's relevant to the current topic! i always thought Huey was just Some Guy

as in, no real malice or grand benevolence. he just had hella power and a job to do

even making contracts with the original clan members, i couldn't imagine him... forcing them into it, or being some sort of Big Bad?

they just described him as a sort of... curious explorer sort of deal. making pumpkin candies, trying to figure out essence trinkets, observing people and yokai. Just a Dude.

i felt sorta vindicated that the Huey Reveal indeed showed that he didn't have some great emotional instinct driving him to do everything he did

he was following (Divvine lolol) orders and trying to make sense of the world while he was doing so

when he was trying to understand why aster and morv would be so attached to him, an empty sorta vessel, and how he wished they would find solace in each other's company instead

yeah, i feel that

i was also really scared during his regeneration that. somehow. the regen would only be complete by eating up eiden's soul or smth

but. he just. regenerated. on his own. like some messed up starfish

no eiden-eating required.

i guess that's god power for ya

a relief, for sure!!!!!!

and the Formatting of his memories? yeah, a failsafe sort of measure. makes sense. Emotion really DOES get in the way a lot of the time

eternally doomed to just. do a thing. for the sake of the world. and not really feel anything about it. what an existence

immortality? COUNT ME OUT

i ,too, would not be averse to turning into dust

yes me getting really sad at the flashback to the Great Serpent

pretty sure that was the Great Serpent we saw making a bond with huey, right?

he must have lost his beloved wife by then :( he must have been so sad and lonely.... but still have some stupid kindness in him that wanted to protec otheers......

which is why he was like. well. i aint doing much with my stupid amounts of power these days. and i'm highkey depressed. you're saying that you're running around the world doing things for the greater good? and it'll protect the living creatures?? the yokai who are unfairly punched in the fface by mean people (who may or may not be humans)?? yeah ok can you take my ear

currently imagining huey as an accidental charity canvasser. he somehow ended up at the Great Serpent's doorstep, talking about his life's mission

and the Great Serpent went, "i want to subsidise your mission. take my money (power) and at least that way SOMEONE will make good use of it"

then he went to rot in his makeshift tomb for the rest of his mortal life , staring at the missing other half of his BFF pendant

huey continues his journey, unaffected, neutral as ever

once again, i warred between my two sides:

they made huey yaoiable!!! to the MASSES

(because ANYTHIN is yaoiable if you are powerful enough. but mass-appeal yaoiable? with the generic appealing twink aesthetic? that's a dangerous game you're playin)

ASEXUAL HUEY WIN

eiden rin and huey all sitting together having a sleepover

eiden going, really? you didn't think of fucking them?? NOT EVEN ONCE?

huey: that did not occur to me as a potential course of action, no.

rin: wait. what's sex. like, actually????

(actually now i'm wondering. if rin inherited all of huey's brain wisdom database, would he have knowledge of sex only in the intellectual sense? like blade? with the "i read that in a book" vibe? MAYB!E!!!!!!!)

the huey portrait reveal: one of the first things i saw was his sleeves

and it immediately made me think of kuya

because wasn't past kuya wearing his R outfit? just a short sleeve sorta deal?

imaginign that kuya with his gigantic admiration boner for huey , sees those sleeves at their first meeting and is all

hell YEAH those are some NOICE LOOKIN, FASHIONABLE SLEEVES

i'm stealing those

*starts incorporating the sleeves in his everyday outfit*

and, now, the kuya we all know today. with his fancy flowery poofy sleeves,,,,, turns out it was huey imitation

]][laughing, pointing mmy finger at peepaw

also grateful that when kuya and rei were about to throw down (again), blade accidentally intervenes

it's like a toddler , witnessing two wretched adults having a dispute, and his Pure Wisdom interrupts with impeccable timing

damn! sounds like those messed up people in my book when they don't know how to cope! wow ! what a couple of textbook cases of poor emotional regulation!

kuya: *deep inhale, withdraws his flaming fingers*

for real i expected kuya to barge into the cave at any moment during the huey reunion

yelling "WHERE'S THAT WHORE"

(not spoken outloud: -WHO ABANDONED ME")

i guess he didn't get to do that after all

understandable why he was upsetti spaegheti

ddidi they really end the chapter with everyone's eiden senses tingling across the continent?!??!

like things are blowing up and catching fire and flooding and natural disasters amok

the elemental spirits are throwing a tantrum

dante in a business meeting with the worst most illogical entity of his life (fire spirits who have spontaneously withdrawn their protective support for no obvious reason)

for real during this whole ordeal i was stressed about all the clan members who weren't there

were they stuck with this unexplainable dread?? like they just were paralysed with the Bad Feel but didn't know how to fix it??

would they feel bad for not being able to protect eiden, or at least see his state???

then i saw that they each had horrible, pressing matters to attend to on their own and that somehow cheered me up

because, at least they're able to DO something positive for their immediate environment. they're not just sad maidens waiting for their husband to come back from the war

they got they own problems to deal with

and there are plenty of problems.....

is yakumo seriously refusing to kill the invading monsters, and only hitting them harder each time (nonlethally) so they'll get the message and leave the village alone????? buddy, i don't know if that's really the most effective--

is olivine back on 25/8 altar regulation duty where he sleeps in 6-second intervals while standing up and forgetting to eat??????????? i mean. at least this time he has his clergy to help him so THANK GOD (lol) that he won't just pass out and die on his own. therew ill be others to throw food at him and idk. at least catch his body with a soft blankie if he crumples to the ground every now and then 😭

holding aster and morvay like!!!! HOW MUCH EMOTIONAL CATHARSIS ARE THEY *NOT* GETTING FROM THIS????

to see huey passed out like snow white in the dark crystal cavern,, then not get to talk to him,,,, then seeing him disintegrate after having Master Eiden stare unblinking at him for several minutes and its justs/????? THEER IS TOO MUCH TO PROCESS

this whole time morv was scared to have eiden in the same place as huey and rin...

so rin must have explained things to morv, and morv was terrified because he didn't want the mind merge to happen.....

but that means both rin and morv thoguht of the merge as an inevitability the SECOND eiden sees huey

hmm........ yall are getting swept away...... and u have forgotten the true stubbornness of eiden

maybe this really is a sign that morvay isn't too smart (as he always claims so himself?) rin says of COURSE Brother is going to fall to a horrible fate if he sees huey

and morvay is like OH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN yeah definitely there's no way around it i definitely do not see it going any other way than what u have described

....... *furrows brow* wait.... that seems weird.... hmm....

*waves it off* nah, not gonna think too hard about it. just gonna chill out and let the story do its thing

[perilegs]

i know astrology is fake but i'm not too keen on how a lot of people on this website seem to be clowning on it as a hobby a bit too hard. i swear the woman who thinks it's neat how she and her friends with the same sun sign are all similar isn't trying to say that you are who you are born as and there is nothing you can do to change it. it's a hobby. an interest. what happened to finding meaning and joy in the small things. does it affect you if someone enjoys tarot reading or crystals. does it make you upset someone has interests that they enjoy.

[rinchdressing]

klapollo baseball/photographer au

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game (3)

au where all robins develop a mental link after fighting some magical criminal of the week. what would they see in each other's minds? what secrets and repressed feelings do they discover? how would they deal with it?

for the ask game!

oooh, i love telepathic links that end up revealing secrets. especially with a family like the Batfam, who are usually so convinced they're good enough at reading each other to not have many secrets kept. so weird reveals are always fun

if i did this, i'd do DamiTim. just because of all the like, "deep dark feelings that are being hidden" for Robin shipping, DamiTim is the most fun for me. you expect DickTim or DickJay or JayTim, even DamiDick. but there's something that's so enjoyable about Damian having his feelings forcibly outted. not just to Tim, but to everyone. the way it'd be an active landmine none of them knowing what to say but all feeling each other's reactions. i honestly think Damian would try to punch somebody about it. (also, if you do a history of TImSteph where they've had sex, Damian would be directly linked to Steph's memories of how Tim was in bed, so that's fun as both something horrifying and enlightening just to screw with his feelings some more.) would they end up together? in my head probably, but it'd be weird and likely toxic bc how do you date someone you know inside out and know exactly what they think of all your flaws and what parts of you they obsess over. the answer is not very well but hey, the sex is good-

i think Jason *directly* feeling how everyone felt about his death would really rock him. he's heard all the apologies, but part of him isn't convinced there's truth to them. so to be crushed by Dick's *grief* over his death would be a come to jesus moment for him. but on the less fun flipside, you have him feeling how Dick feels about him *now*. because Dick doesn't really *like* Jason and deep down, sees Jason as a lost cause. that's his "deep dark secret". and Jason would feel and know that from the one person who he still wants to believe in him. i really do think Jason would have the Worst Time with all this, overwhelmed with everyone's intimate and complex feelings over his death. Jason is a very defensive person when it comes to his death and how reactionary he gets when other people make it about them, not him. so for Jason to have to constantly deal with that in his head, i truly do think he'd lash out a bit. the arguments. yelling at Dick and feeling Dick's guilt and snapping bc Dick has no right to feel guilty now. feeling that Tim viewed Jason as a failure. it's just a damaging mindspace to be in and man do i think Jason would take a While to recover.

oddly though, i think it'd be a good bonding moment for Steph and Jason. we really don't get much exploration of Steph and Jason bonding over dying. bc sure, Steph didn't actually die, but she *did* experience the social death where everyone believed she was dead and mourned her as such for a good while. she also felt *directly* responsible for her own death. a lot of blame falls on Steph for War Games (for the Doylist reasons of sexism but yk) and Jason feels responsible for his own death for walking into a trap. but unlike Jason, Steph had no suit in a case, no memorials, her name held no infamy. so i think she deserves just a bit of righteous fury about how dramatic Jason can be while she just has to move on bc hey, it's not like she *really* died. and she buries those feelings well, but not well enough to hide them from a mental link. and Jason, who hasn't really considered Steph before because he was so wrapped up in his complex over Tim, confronts those feelings with her. if anyone is going to know how he feels, it's going to be her. you could do it platonic or romantic, but i do think when Jason sinks to his lowest, she's the one who snaps him out of it, both with tough love and genuine compassion for his situation.

for the less serious crack of it all: they're all going to have far too intimate knowledge of each other's sex lives. everyone's gonna know Dick has fucked Slade. everyone's gonna know Jason has fucked Talia. in my heart, i believe Tim has slept with Anarky (Lonnie, not Ulysses) and everyone would *know* that too. absolute judgment all around. it's the spider-man meme of "wait you've done WHAT with WHO" and honestly, it gives a nice distraction for the more serious feelings. it's a palette cleanser they can default to. like when the fighting gets a little too serious and they're cutting too deep for comfort, someone's going to blurt out "well at least i didn't fuck Deathstroke." and the whole moment goes awry with laughter. bc i do think, at the end of it once they get through the worst of the angst, they'd be closer for it and self-aware of the ridiculous nature of all this. it's enlightening, in a way to see how they all felt about their time as Robin and the baggage/trauma they hold. even the ugliest feelings they hold for each other don't completely suffocate the fondness/respect.

that said, knowing the baggage/trauma. oof. i don't think Dick has ever fully opened up about his history with Mirage/Tarantula/Liu and now it's forced to sit in the open. Damian has never admitted the worst of being raised in the League. Tim hasn't fully faced the suffocating image of his dead father and his deep-seated want to kill Boomerang. all those ugly truths they stamp down bc well, either you're a vigilante or you're a well adjusted person, are out in the open now. and it's ugly and gruesome to force those thoughts to be shared. they all want to comfort each other for different reasons, while simultaneously not wanting their own trauma to be acknowledged. it'd be fun to see who'd instinctively react to whose trauma first. because it's an overwhelming rush of information, and you just naturally get pulled in certain directions. i think Damian would react to Dick's history of sexual abuse first, whereas Jason would be reacting to the murderous rage TIm is trying to fight off. Tim is reacting to just how much guilt Steph carries about War Games and all of it is very crunchy. there's so much they'd all have to talk about and it'd take days for them to address it all, between the arguments about the ugly parts. would they come out stronger for it? yes. but only if they didn't kill each other in the process. i hesitate to do a "and they come out one big happy family" ending, bc it's not very in canon, but i do think the bond of the Robin mantle is something special. even when the link is broken, they hold onto a freakish understanding of each other. they react and move in sync, can fight together without needing words. are they emotionally on the same page/have they forgiven each other for the worst of it? absolutely not. but they've got each other backs. it's a very much "if you called i'd drop everything to save you. but also we don't have it in us to hang out casually." bond, which i think is deeply underrated in fanfiction. sometimes, you can care about people but you have to do it from a distance.

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

so we've spent the past three months writing MelloNear daily, and we've worked on enough different pieces in that time that i now have some Thoughts as to the narrative purposes they each tend to serve in our own works (this is not. about canon though i suppose it DERIVES from their canon dynamic. this is very much about how we personally play with the blorbos)

by and large Mello serves to drive the plot, regardless of the position he is put in within the universe. we don't even have to actively be trying to do anything with him -- even in our more Near-centric pieces, as long as Mello is present? his emotions, whims, wants are what shapes the trajectory of the story, his emotional beats are the beats that drive the plot forward. he feels, he impulses, he injects stuff into the sequence of events. things happen because Mello wants them to (or pushes Near to make them happen if/when he himself cannot).

meanwhile Near is much less of a driving force for the plot and more of a reflective force for the story. he isn't IRRELEVANT to the plot, he doesn't do NOTHING, but most of what he does from a plot progression standpoint is reactive. like, he acts not because of an inner drive, not based on his own wants or needs, but largely when his circumstances require action of him. (by circumstances i don't just mean Plot Events. sometimes what he reacts to are his own emotions, like in sweet atonement, when they are so overwhelming that he cannot put them aside to strategise effectively anymore -- the keyword here being "effectively", because even then his first response will still often be to try to strategise.) by and large what Near does do is provide space for reflection, for thought, for analysis. things happen to him, or through him, and he thinks about them a bunch, and he'd leave it at that if Mello wasn't pushing him.

so they make for super neat storytelling when you figuratively drop them together in a jar and shake them around, because it's like. Mello pushes Near into action Near wouldn't take on his own; and then Near adds weight to Mello's direction, provides a deeper sense of spacetime, fleshes out the places where Mello takes him that Mello wouldn't necessarily stop at or consider on his own. like at their core, in the way we write their dynamic, Mello Does and Near Is. and mixing them up, you get: all of the essential elements for a compelling story!

and obviously im not like, talking in absolutes, none of this is true 100% of the time or the only possible reading of them, nuance exists etc etc. but that's the general trends we're starting to notice in our own MelloNear writing over the past few months

[sheridansunrise]

I am back for part two of my chaotic notes about Sheridan that I made with the intention of trying to understand what it is that makes him my favourite character of all time! I wrote a similar amount of words about him in season two and season three, but season three contained far less in-depth analysis because I had covered a lot of things already and so it spiralled more into talking about specific instances in a bit of a different, less in-depth way. And out of those instances, I have picked out, hopefully, the most entertaining of my notes.

I didn’t write these with the intention of sharing them, I just thought it would be fun to do, but now I am sharing some of them so please do forgive any accidental paraphrasing of quotes (I’m not sure if there is any or not, but just in case). Also, there are a few words that I use in both their positive and negative meaning so I can only hope that the context makes it clear enough XD

Right, enough of me rambling, here are the season three notes <3

———————————————————————

Okay don’t say shadows and zoom in on Sheridan’s face, that is a personal attack 🥲

Appears coolly out of a lift

*angrily unbuttons shirt* “you satisfied?” 🤌

Imagine calling THE John J. Sheridan a coward 🤡

Saying that Sheridan basically is nothing without his guards/a gun may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. John Sheridan has been in more life and death situations than this man has had hot dinners

ASSASSIN STYLE SMILE. OH HE’S NOT GOING TO SIT THERE AND BE CALLED A COWARD - THOUGH HE IS ALSO SECURE ENOUGH IN HIS MASCULINITY THAT IT HASN’T AFFECTED HIM (🤌). HE IS JUST GOING TO SHOW THEM WHO THE HELL IS IN CHARGE. FUCK YES.

Literally looks down on him somehow even though this guy is slightly taller?????? Like the power Captain Sheridan holds I—

oh to play chess with John Sheridan

*Shocked pikachu face* — it’s okay honey bun, you’re still good at chess!!!

I can’t describe that smile but it says a thousand words and most of them are expletives

You can literally see his angry breathing via a shot of his back 🤌

Also lol as if Sheridan would put his career over standing up for what’s right smh, you will never know what he’s really like 😌

he is. So. Cool.

The fact this woman is like “I think I could come to like you… quite a lot” as if John Sheridan has any interest in bigoted arseholes 🥱

Okay wait he’s actually got the perfect ASMR voice

AY- NO- YOU ARE NOT ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH CAPTAIN SHERIDAN, YOU LITTLE BIGOT.

He is, let’s say it again for the people in the back, SMART.

“It’s sedition, disloyalty—“ “It’s an opinion.” 🤌🤌🤌🤌 fuck yes

“There is a difference between the position and the person who is currently occupying it at the moment” King shit right there

“If this happens again, you call me” everyone, I give you Captain Sheridan. Literally always working because he is in command of the 5-mile-long space station Babylon 5, which houses, may I remind you, a quarter of a million people… and yet he will come running if random store owner #324 is spoken down to.

“are you sure of that, Mr Bester?” If Sheridan looked at me like that I think I would 1). Burst into tears 2). Vomit 3). Beg for forgiveness for no less than 200 years

3 scenes. That’s all we got 🥴 like come on guys, Sheridan is so close to Z’ha’dum now, give me more scenes before his life changes forever 😫

No because Delenn looks sad/worried and Sheridan NOTICES. Like he fully mentally notes that, as if he wants to comfort her right then and there. Their love is beautiful 🤧

“I need to think about this for a while… alone. I’ll let you know when I have something to say.” *everyone stands up* “Delenn, stay.” *the softest smile ever* “I’m gonna need you for this” I PHYSICALLY CANNOT COPE. Essentially: everyone leave… but not you, never you. DECEASED.

He keeps looking at Delenn as if he is a mere mortal in the presence of a literal god, as he should 🤌

Poor boy has not slept for 20 hours

“I will watch and catch you if you should fall” “okay 😊” they are so cute I’m going to vomit

Sheridan trying to find a logical way to solve everything, duh 👑

“It’s funny I… I wish Delenn were here” someone call the police, I think my ship is trying to kill me by being TOO DAMN CUTE 😭

You doubted him? This is John Sheridan we’re talking about, of course he found a loophole 😘

Another sleepless night for Sheridan, let my boy REST for the love of god

“As much as our humanity got us into it, our humanity is the only thing that is going to get us out of it again” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 👏

“John, I can’t imagine the kind of decisions that are going through your mind right now, I’m sure they’re not easy. The important ones never are. But when push comes to shove you’ve always done the right thing” Thank you, David Sheridan, I think you just summed up why your son is my favourite character 🤝

“Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet… he is behind me.” Delenn applauding Sheridan’s strength while simultaneously saving him from his own people? My serotonin is now at peak levels 🤌

“Seeing your face at that moment was probably the single finest moment of my life” when ur ship is so cute you have no choice but to give them a standing ovation

Okay hun, listen, I understand you are doing the right thing and doing the rounds, reassuring people and all that, but if you keep going out on your own without protection you may give me a heart attack 🤓

Everybody, I give you the most Sheridan-coded Sheridan moment of all time: Sheridan smiling as he picks up and smells an orange whilst he’s reassuring people and being a good leader, at the same time as someone is aiming to shoot him in the head

and also his arc is to die for (literally) (okay ouch, me… that was uncalled for)

John Sheridan punching the man who just injured Delenn with pure rage is finer art than the Mona Lisa

Oh my god the mess. Honeybun I need to teach you how to cook without destroying your quarters

the fact he spent so much time and effort cooking her food for her is the softest thing I think he’s ever done

“I’ll be right back” okay Sheridan, seriously, for once, LET SECURITY DEAL WITH IT. But also at the same time this is so Sheridan and I love it

Centauri!Sheridan isn’t real, he can’t hurt you

No because Marcus headcanoning Sheridan as Arthur Pendragon is calling me out so hard

“A simple yes or no would’ve sufficed, Mr Lennier” oh no… he wouldn’t like me. Sorry, Sheridan, I always over-explain 🥲

Seeing him for a split second is enough to bring me joy for an entire week???????????? Am I okay??????

Oh the hand movements of John Sheridan thinking - a brilliant art form

“Angry enough to kill me? ‘Cause that’s the only way I’m leaving” hun I’m going to need you to stop tempting death for the sake of my own well-being (and yours) 🥲

“I’ve got nothing to lose. Hell, my own government wants to kill me! And if we lose this war I’m just as dead” I think that this line, along with the pure anguish in his voice when he’s saying it, was put in here to torture me 🤠✌️

Sheridan has had too many nasty shocks over the last 24 hours. I would say pls give him a break but I know what’s coming next and I really don’t think it is a break

His first kiss with Delenn not being her first kiss with him is a very interesting concept for a ship and I’m slightly obsessed with the idea???? Like it comes so naturally to her (obviously) and so the kiss is perfect because she knows what his actions will be like I—

“I look in your eyes now and I see the innocence that went away so many years ago.” *cue Bart Simpson saying that he can pinpoint the exact moment that my heart ripped in half*

“I’m going to have to think about this for a while” me too, me too. Lots of processing required 🤓 I actually don’t know how he’s still functioning like a normal human. I was so silent after this episode that my dad actually asked if I was alright (oops)

*fist clench* *holds hands behind back* *paces* guys I’ve found it, a moment of perfect cinema

Seeing John Sheridan’s eyes darkened from pure fatigue is what true pain feels like

You’re telling me that on top of everything else, my boy is having nightmares? Do I have to march my butt all the way to Babylon 5 and stop everyone and everything hurting him?????

Um idk he’s just??? Everything??? To me????

“It’s my responsibility, I can’t put it on anyone else” this line right here, this is the epitome of Sheridan, and oh how it breaks my heart </3

“Delenn’s been through a lot lately” “she’s got enough problems on her hands without giving her mine as well” that’s so soft but so heartbreaking how do I react 😩

Deleridan figuring out the shadows’ plans? But of course 💅

She is holding his arm and showing him the army she has built for him. This is some power couple shit 🤟

“I don’t know what to say” *strokes his face in the most unbelievably tender way* “say nothing” *THE cutest, MOST perfect embrace and first kiss THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN* send me a coroner, I’m deceased

It’s actually not funny how sick I felt before sitting down to watch this episode and the next one. I cannot enjoy shows casually 🤟

This episode is undiluted stress 🤓

“I do love you. If you believe nothing else, please… please believe that” and he WALKS AWAY. FUCKING HELL. JUST TORTURE ME, IT WOULD BE MORE PLEASANT

“Son of a bitch” “It’s against regulations to address a senior officer in those terms, Mister Garibaldi” even when faced with certain death, he can crack a good joke

Oh fuck, it’s the balcony

John Sheridan 🤝 breaking my heart with facial expressions

That shot is burned into my brain, I don’t think I will ever be able to move on 😃

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Sparks tour 2023