#i can only imagine her reaction to finding out that he's gone sith. if he didn't kill her early on.

[dapurinthos]

staring at lene's ability to form deep bonds quickly and worrying about her feeling sifo's death in the force.

can't remember which novel it's in but there's a bit about how meditation is affected by the loss of a master because padawans meditate with their masters for so much of their life. lene would get that in reverse.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 14 reactions: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME BUT ALSO I’M CRYING edition

- the good good din characterization is back after all the weirdness last episode!!!! that soft way he says ‘no, no, I’m not mad at you’? THAT’S din djarin, he would not be fucking impatient with his son having just been informed and seen for himself that he is terrified, go away mr filoni I know you’ve got all of canon memorized but you don’t get this lol. this feels much more right in how din being conflicted and still thinking he should give the baby away for his own good plays out too  

honestly every line of dialogue for him in this one was perfect I was just whispering ‘I love this awkward clueless wonderful man just doing his best’ to myself any time he said anything. “...does this look Jedi to you?” sir I adore you more than words can describe

- we got din chuckling. asjdklfhsdkafghsdafsadhjkfsdahjkfh. fskahfksjad. side note: I can’t believe my joke post about din desperately trying to Force home school the kid with the one (1) jedi trick he knows about and the baby being delighted by it over and over anyway -- listen to his expectant excited laugh when din takes the ball and sets up the game!!!! -- was canon all along. and then the baby & mando music kicking in when he gently put the silver ball into the baby’s hands again and tells him he’s special (because he IS special. to din)? hmng. hmmmmnnnnn  

they opened on the height of softness so we would all crumple under the weight of the rest of the episode and that was very mean of them in a way I sincerely appreciate 

- nothing to see here... just a dad trying to walk through the literal manifestation of the unassailable underlying forces of the universe to get to his baby again and again........ the desperation in that, the love, the foolhardy devotion................... shit

- okay so I might be a dumbass, but I’d never noticed this before -- the silver ball has a blue spot on the top, like so: 

and in addition we get the room where the baby goes full darth grogu (I have to laugh so I don’t cry okay) on those storm troopers, and there’s a red light in there dominating the room (and it did even more in the concept art):

in star wars blue means light side and red means dark side (it’s very sophisticated that way), meaning the visual storytelling here is that there’s a battle for the baby’s soul and gideon and all his nonsense (and the trauma bb’s been through in the wider sense) is pulling towards the dark, while grogu and din’s connection leads him towards the light. just... the image of the baby looking at his own reflection in the symbolic representation of his relationship to din? the way children find their sense of self through being safely reflected and held by their caretakers? god help meeeeeee I will go in there and fistfight gideon myself for disrupting that in any way  

the smaller light seems to be blue too, like there’s still the presence of light even if it’s dimmed and small in that shitty horrible room, which is a change from the concept art!

- FENNEC SHAND SURVIVED BITCHES!!! I even called that she’d be back with new shiny robot parts back in season 1, could not happen to a cooler lady, I hope we get more backstory and interaction from her the next episodes -- sounds like she’s basically sworn herself to boba’s service in gratitude for saving her life, I wonder if that’s a cultural thing of whereever she comes from? does she live aboard slave 1 now too?? because that would be hilarious and amazing, it must be like two strange cats trying to get used to sharing the same space   

- everything I could ever hope for about boba fett in this series came true, they went down the much more interesting and nuanced route with jango and boba’s identities as mandalorians, he looked cool as fuck and made din as a character shine rather than overshadowing him... amazing beautiful yesss 

(I did 100% not anticipate just how ‘cool uncle boba here to help you fuck shit up’ he was going to be but I am delighted to get it anyway. uncle points deducted for getting someone to point a gun at the baby, but the main point still stands lol) 

the power and brutality of his hand to hand fighting too... a w e s o m e , I enjoyed the action scenes a lot in this one

- they even recanonized him actually wearing jango’s armour. what more could I ask for. I’ve had confused parent & child feels about these two since I was like eleven and here we fucking go again. and jango fighting in the mando civil wars too!

- so I’m grieving the razor crest (and I always will be, rip you magnificent jalopy, always in my heart) but also there’s the grim satisfaction that my reading on it was sort of true -- it is (...was. oh god it’s going to take a while to sink in huh) a symbol of din’s self and life, and at this point when they take the baby it tears everything else to pieces. the only thing that’s left in the ashes is the beskar and the thing that connects him to the baby. and there’s... a strange solace in seeing that that’s all he needs to keep going? he’s fucking obliterated from orbit but he still has his love for the baby and the beskar and that can keep him going until he finds something new, everything else can be replaced?????? weirdly healing, though he is probably going to have a solid breakdown at some point after they get the kid back (shut up they are getting the kid back) and the cold distant fog lifts 

also this scene/shot feels like it carries some Meaning, doesn’t it? I’m on record several times saying I never want din to be mand’alor and that’s still true, but there’s something about the framing of this and the way boba looks at him that’s like... hm. I’m not sure I have the words for it. there’s something heightened about it, anyway, for a moment he looks like something mythic there in the wreckage 

(something I would be much cooler with is our clan of two growing a little bit and those new people rallying behind him, actually, that might be neat. imagine if a force user does show up for the baby and gets adopted into the clan somehow??? so many possibilities.) 

- from the way he picks up the silver ball... din djarin is on his way to straight up murder some people huh

I think part of what reassures me about this scene is the music -- this mando flute is not distant, is not beaten, is not despondent, it’s clear and determined and strong.

- 

I love this. I love when we get explicit baby POVs, it makes it feel so real and intimate and... like home. (I especially loved baby’s point of view inside the razor crest, which just made me tear up again. baby lost the closest thing he’s had to a home in a long long time on top of it all. everything is suffering)

-

Emotionally Significant Thumb Grabbing tm; the show

- din djarin looking for the ‘on’ switch on a magic rock fhsdakjfhsadlfhsdjah I can’t breathe

 “Well, this is the seeing stone. Are you. Seeing anything?” fsafkdsajhfsa sdhfksjalhfkjsdahfkjsdhf

- the energy around the baby as he’s, in ahsoka’s words, ‘choosing his path’ is blue, and the force sort of works across time and space, right?? so there’s definitely still hope for our lil green bean to not have to come up with a really dumb unsubtle sith name for himself, as is regrettably yet delightfully tradition. darth babbu should never come to pass (I do like how they’re interrogating the normal dark/light side dichotomy in this series, seeing as this is a literal baby who can’t really be responsible for that stuff himself yet and has such capacity for both.)  

- listen. listen, the way din says ‘can you please hurry up’ with no sarcasm or real impatience whatsoever, more like a harried worry, to his force-meditating son as he jogs off to make sure no one’s trying to kill them. is hilarious and also YES this is what the character is!!! weirdly and incongruously polite under stress sometimes and with a slightly odd reaction pattern to things!!! he’s not just quiet and badass, he’s a little strange sometimes and it’s so good!  

- a friendly opening volley warning shot from boba there

also din uncertainly asking BOBA FETT if he’s a jedi... now this is the dramatic irony I’ve been looking for haha 

I guess neither shand nor boba actually know din’s name after this either. baby you gotta start introducing yourself at some point it gets real confusing when there are two mandos on screen 

oh the long weary sigh going through din’s frame when boba says he wants ‘the armour’ and he thinks it’s just someone trying to peel the beskar off his corpse again. sorry the galaxy’s so shitty dad   

- “But fate sometimes steps in to rescue the wretched” is a killer line well done mr favreau. I like that boba actually offers din a good deal as well and seems to intend to deliver on it from how things are going. 

- din using his beskar-covered bod to cover someone he’s fighting alongside!!! literal moving cover haha. also I love fennec’s costume design  

- I don’t know where din got more whistling birds from and I don’t care, it was really cool haha 

-

wow haha um so anyway -- 

(cue all the ‘who wore it better’ with cobb vanth’s ‘spiderman’s first home made costume’ look on one side and ABSOLUTE UNIT DADDY boba fett on the other side posts lol)

- aaaghh the music almost like a stunned desperate fluttering heart beat as din watches the razor crest be destroyed 

- for someone who has willingly worked for them in the past boba sure sounds less than thrilled about having the empire back in any capacity 

- oof the deadness in din’s voice when he says “The child is gone”. ooooh no that got me  h e l p 

- guessing next episode is at least partly a ‘gathering old allies and preparing the assault’ step before the grand finale, then! they cannot go for the season ender cliffhanger with this, I will fucking riot. anything can be up in the air except baby and dad being separated, I will not allow it

it would be very funny if the force user baby called out to comes stumbling into the middle of all this like the troy entering the room with pizzas meme too 

- the music in the darth grogu scene is partially a dark mirror of the baby & mando music :’( is nothing in this world sacred

also from how he reaches out for it baby might have used a light saber before in the past with the jedi? ngl the idea of baby wielding the dark saber not when he’s all grown up but in like two episodes -- with all the chaos a toddler holding a laser sword would involve -- is all that is keeping me sane here 

‘liable to put an eye out with one of these’ well gideon you sure have doomed someone to lose an eye with that one, here’s to hoping it’s you, for full dramatic payoff 

he is a deliciously smug awful force with great musical cues tho, you have to give it to him

- okay so this

is obviously awful and horrible and it makes me so sad... but it is undeniably also very very very funny in how it’s framed. you know what? after all this bullshit baby grogu can have a little dark side tantrum, as a treat, we’ve all been there right

(forget finding a jedi, we need to go out there and find a child psychologist who can help him deal with this without adding the fear that he’s on the path to become a two foot tall evil space sorcerer to the mix Y_________Y) 

- rip the razor crest except for the second time :’’’( gone but never forgotten

- the last thing din tells the baby is “I’m gonna protect you; I’ll be back soon”. and I hope that stays with the kid somehow and that it actually comes true, that din will be back for him as soon as humanly possible and all this pain and fear can be repaired. ggggghhhhh my emotions are too big for my dumb human body 

[amazingdriverfics]

Hello! I have another request in mind: instead of Rey being captured by Kylo like in interrogation scene in the Force Awakens, it's his best friend from when they were training as Jedi with Luke Skywalker. She's with the Resistance and he's with the First Order. They're supposed to be enemies but after all this time, they still love each other. And Kylo, pleads her to join him and she does because she's never felt at home with the Resistance even though Poe was her friend. Kylo was her home and she loves him. I hope this is okay!

A/N: hey love, I hope you are doing alright. I’m really sorry that it took me so long to get it done, but I wanted for it to be good even if it meant having to wait a bit longer to post. 

I hope you enjoy it very much, I wrote with love, thank you for your support and request. 

Warnings: mentions of fight and death (they are very short)

My masterlist

Your heart is racing, it almost feels like it is about to explode off of your chest, the anxiety pumping in your veins is enough to distract you from the discomfort your body is experiencing, to forget that you can barely move attached on a metallic surface with your hands and legs restrained, to completely erase from your mind that you are covered in ashes and dried tears from all the chaos you had seen a couple of hours ago. None of that matters when you know you are finally going to meet Kylo Ren and very likely meet your death at the other end of the red lightsaber you watched kill so many not too long ago. 

The man doesn’t come for a long time anyway and you think to yourself that the time he is taking might just be torture itself, you are hyperaware of the enviroment you are in - a dark room with nothing but a lamp and you - as well as the things going outside, every sound makes you want to cry and evey tiny movement you can see through the small space under the door makes your heart skip a beat. You try to calm yourself as Master Luke had thought you many years before, but it was impossible, every time you tried to focus on your breathing patterns some noise got in the way, to make things worse one of the cuffs keeping you on the metallic surface doesn’t allow you to use the force, leaving you defenceless to face Kylo Ren. 

Nonetheless, you decide to give meditation one last try, if the dark knight was such a good force user as the rumours said, you would need all the focus you could possibly find to keep him off of your memories, to protect Poe and the Resistance. You try to focus only on your breathing, inhaling and exhaling loudly so you could hopefully drown the other sounds and you allow yourself for the first time to start accessing your body, imagining the oxygen you inhaled going through your bloodstream and getting to every single cell, filling them with life. 

When you feel like you are finally managing to calm yourself down, you listen to the door opening and you instantly open your eyes. The first thing you see is a tall black figure using a lifeless mask that had been haunting your thoughts ever since you got captured by the stormtroopers, the second thing you see is the lightsaber on his belt and it makes you swallow dry, all the calmness you had been trying to find vanishing and turning into fear. 

You watch as he walks towards you with long and insecure strides and it shocks you. Of everything you imagined Kylo Ren to be like - a monster, a soulless creature, a sadist - insecure definitely wasn’t on the list. His behavior however fills you up with a courage you had left in the spot you were captured. 

As he gets closer you allow your instincts to take control, your mouth moving before you could possibly think that it wasn’t the wisest decision. “You aren’t going to get anything from me, you might as well kill me now, monster”. 

You wait for a answer that doesn’t come, all Kylo Ren does is stop near the surface you are restrained on and all you can hear is the mechanic sound of breathing coming from his stupid mask as you turn your head towards it, ready to challenge the man once again. 

“And take this disgusting thing off your face, I don’t talk to cowards in masks”.

Much to your surprise, you don’t feel excruciating pain, but you watch as his gloved hands travel to the sides of his helmet, the next thing you listen is the sound of pressured air leaving the inside of it. When you finally see his face, your heart beats faster, but, this time, for all the wrong reasons. 

——————————————————————————

“Come y/n, the water is amazing” Ben yells at you, the most perfect smile adorning his features. 

You run towards the lake in your underwear as your eyes focus on Ben, you watch as his soaked dark hair touches his face, and water droplets fall on his face and on his torso, the sight making your heart skip beats, he was truly the most beautiful being you had ever laid eyes on. 

Stars, you loved Ben Solo with every atom in your body.

——————————————————————————

“Ben” you whisper, eyes filling with tears as you remember yourself of all you lived with him. You knew he had disappeared after the Jedi Temple burned, you had even mourned Ben, believing you would never see the man that you loved for so long again, your true home and family, your soulmate. “What happened to you?” you ask trying to reach for him, going against your better judgment. 

He sighs as you look into his dark eyes, trying to figure out the emotion behind it, something you could do so easily when you were younger, but now that barely knew him anymore  it proved to be an incredibly hard task. 

“Luke tried to kill me” he confesses and you don’t know what shocks you the most, hearing the sound of his deep voice years later the last time you saw him or finding out that one of the man you looked up to the most as you grew older tried to murder Ben, his neffew, the sweet boy you fell for and the boy who had gone through hell as he tried to discover himself. 

“Oh Ben, why didn’t you tell me? When did it happen?” As you talk to Ben, you forget you are stuck in a table and that you are his prisoner, not his lover.

He closes his eyes and his hands into fists before answering you. 

“That night when I burned the temple” he says before pausing, his eyes watching your every reaction as you assimilate that it was your Ben who burned the temple, not any Sith or Snoke himself, but Ben. “And no matter how much it hurt me to leave you behind, I just couldn’t bring myself to take you with me into the Order, into Snoke’s hand, I needed you to stay alive”. 

His words make you cry, make you sob, all your discoveries becoming overwhelming, seeing Ben alive after mourning him all too much. Before you can even process it, his gloved hand is in your cheek, caressing your skin lightly as a way to soothe your ache and you know you should hate him, you know he was supposed to be your enemy, but as you feel his touch once again, you fell like the little girl who fell for Ben Solo.

“You can’t imagine how much I missed you, little one” he confesses, his hand not leaving your face. All of a sudden you feel as your restraints open, your body almost escaping the surface until Ben holds you with the force, slowly allowing you to get your feet on the ground. “Now that you’re here with me again, I don’t know if I could ever let you go again”. 

As the words leave his mouth, Ben gets up walking towards you, his hand that just left your face travels to your waist, his eyes filled with so much emotion looking directly into your teary ones. You know you should say no, that you should say that your home is with the Resistance, that you could never be with an Order so evil and destructive, but it would be all a lie. Your home was with Ben, it always had been and it always would be, you always loved him and you were sure that you would never ever stop loving him, no matter how much Poe tried to make you feel included at the Resistance, there was nothing in the Galaxy that could make you feel like Ben.

“Join me” he pleads and it doesn’t take you two seconds before whispering a ‘yes’ and nod, your face leaning towards his, your lips searching for his. 

When your lips meet his and your tongues finally touch his, it feels like fireworks explode in your body, almost like time stands still, like the whole Universe was watching as two soulmates find their way back to each other again. 

As the two of you part and you look into your eyes you whisper: “You’ll always be my home, Ben”.

[yessoupy]

the @imetyouonljpodcast episode this week gave me lots of thoughts and feelings about star wars. more like, reminded me of all my thoughts and feelings around my first fandom. thus, I decided to write my own journey into and throughout star wars fandom, and what it means to me. buckle up, this story spans decades.

my very first memory of anything star wars-related is a yoda puppet that my grandmother had. it had to be from the original run of the movies, because I was maybe 4 in my first memory of it, and i was born in '86. my sisters and I loved it, and one of our cousins was deathly scared of it so we'd chase him around the house with it.

my second memory of star wars was going to the movie store with my dad and sisters and seeing our favorite yoda on the cover of a VHS. "yoda yoda yoda! daddy, it's yoda!!! can we get it?" we were holding up the display cover for return of the jedi. dad said no, we couldn't get that one yet because we had to watch them in order. so we rented a new hope and all I remember was falling asleep while artoo and threepio were trundling across the tatooine desert sands. at five I guess I was too young.

in early 1997 the special editions of the original trilogy were aired in theaters and I was in 4th grade. dad took us to see one of them (I think empire, at some point we'd finally finished a new hope). at school that grading period I sat next to a boy named mark and he noticed I was drawing little x-wing silhouettes on my paper. "you like star wars too?" he asked. when I said yes, he declared that because of my name, he was going to call me skywalker. that's the name on the back of my high school letter jacket.

in fall of 1998 I started the 6th grade and I came home from school one day to a hardbound book my mom had checked out for me from the library. heir to the empire by timothy zahn. mom pointed out where it said on the cover it was a trilogy, and I could get the other books when I finished this one. she hadn't found the young jedi knights series for me. she'd checked out a GROWN-UP star wars book.

in spring of 1999 the phantom menace came out and my parents' friend took me to see it on opening day because neither of them were free and I HAD to go that day. later on that year she took me to a star wars exhibit at the museum of fine arts. that was also the first time I saw a monet and a renoir. the exhibit had costumes (real costumes!!!) from the original trilogy and the newest prequel. I bought a book about the myth of star wars in the museum gift shop.

I read every expanded universe book our local library had, which was a lot. I had a lot to catch up on, too, since heir to the empire had been published in 1992. you never saw me at school without a star wars book. I read while walking in the hallways, even. in 6th grade I read during lunch, since I was in varsity orchestra with 7th and 8th graders and was terribly shy. they'd tell me I should socialize at lunch, not read my books, but... I wanted to read. I had a lot to learn. I have a lot to know.

I was in 7th grade when I read vector prime, the first in the new series. my first class of the day was science, and the boy I had a crush on was in that class. we had DEAR time at the beginning of that class - drop everything and read. not a hardship for me. that day, I read the part of the book where chewbacca was killed. I looked up, astonished. heartbroken. I locked eyes with the boy I liked. he nodded at the book and I showed him the cover. he nodded sympathetically. "they killed chewie," I whispered. he said "I know."

I wrote original characters in star wars fan fiction when I was about 13. I had an internet friend named rachel who lived in brisbane. then there was dave and 'roswell' who gave me ideas for my story. I loved being able to talk about the wide world of star wars with other people. we used aol instant messenger and email. my username in those days had 'skywalker' in it. I am pretty sure we met in an aol chatroom. I didn't find much of use on the official star wars site and I have probably visited it fewer than 10 times since 1999.

I read those books all through middle and high school. they were my christmas presents and my birthday presents. I moved into our family beach house after college. it sounds really nice but I didn't have running water because it was the summer after Ike hit. I would go to the used book store on 23rd street and buy a stack of star wars books and read them while I waiting for calls to interview for a teaching position. weekends I'd go into town to stay at a friend's house and help her with wedding stuff. I'd shower there, too. that's where my new stash of star wars books started, with me catching up on the legacy of the force series I hadn't read in college and then finishing up through the fate of the jedi as those came out. I felt that I had grown up with these characters. I remembered when kyp was just an orphan han rescued, when jacen and jaina were five years old, when corran horn had no wife, no kids, and was just finding out who his family was. I had capital o opinions about what color lightsaber i would have and why (silver; bc corran), I knew the geography of the galaxy and where everyone was from and my favorite planet was dathomir because women ruled it. I knew all of these characters' histories and motivations and the difficult decisions they'd made and had to live with. I loved them.

i never ventured into the online fandom space for star wars, even after I'd found other online fandom spaces, because I didn't feel like there was anything anyone could add to it for me. I was satisfied with all I'd gotten. sure, favorite characters had been killed (after chewie, the one who stung most was Mara, luke's wife), but people die. and in such a long-running series spanning so many years and trillions of miles of space... you come to expect it.

people would ask me ALL THE TIME when the sequels were coming out and I said never. then, disney bought star wars. initially I was excited (tears of joy happy) to have sequels confirmed. my mind raced, imagining a trilogy centered on the events surrounding jacen's descent to the dark side. the original actors would be the right age for that. who could play jacen?

then, the announcement came that the canon was now 'legends' and they wouldn't be taking any of it into account when writing the sequels BUT that didn't mean we wouldn't see old canon favorites. they announced adam driver as the villain and I thought "jacen." I held onto the idea that this knowledge I had, these years of knowing these stories, would still be worth something. that I'd be able to add new information to my mental bookshelves and maps. that my universe would expand further.

the force awakens was a bitter disappointment. I was upset from the crawl, leia's title making it clear to me that she wasn't chief of state, she wasn't the mother to three children, han wasn't her husband, and all of her history I'd grown to love really was gone. what I saw was the older version of a woman I'd met when she was 18 and hadn't seen her since her early twenties. I didn't know her.

I didn't know the galaxy, either. starting with the new jedi order series, a map of the galaxy was included in the front of each book with the planets named so you knew where everything was happening. the new galaxy was bare. it was small and knowable. while the hosnian prime system was destroyed in the movie, I'd never known it, and all the planets I DID know were similarly blasted out of memory. where was dathomir and its fierce warrior witches? if their planets were gone so were their people.

as the movie trudged on, a retelling of a new hope, I kept thinking, "at least let his name be jacen." I hung my hopes on this sith character being han and leia's son and sharing that name of the boy I'd known and the man who'd grown up to turn to the dark side. at that first shout of 'BEN!' I was angry. Ben?? that was the name of LUKE'S son! that was MARA'S child! Ben??? with three letters jacen solo and ben skywalker were also dead to the galaxy.

I know, I know. I should get over it. I AM thankful for poe dameron. the x-wing books were always my favorite. poe was familiar to me the way other new characters weren't. he was part of the new republic navy. I knew what that was. he flew an x-wing. I knew what that was.l and what company manufactured them. he was from yavin IV, I knew where that was and what it looked like. finn was a stormtrooper, yes, but the empire had not stolen children to be raised as stormtroopers. they were recruited like any other position. his story wasn't real to me, it wasn't something I could easily accept. and the idea that the new republic just LET the first order rise? leia's new republic would NEVER. but leia wasn't chief of state in this universe. leia hadn't had that power.

I read a lot of articles about the force awakens and the reactions to it, and never saw myself in any of them. the star wars fanboys whom I'd never known were painted as being angry because their fan knowledge was useless and "boo-hoo poor widdle fanboys" they would be mocked, rightfully. but that's why I was angry, ultimately. everyone I knew and loved was dead. worse, they'd never existed. "what do you think will happen?" some unsuspecting coworker would ask. I'd shrug, but inside I was yelling "who the fuck knows! my favorite characters don't exist anymore. nothing I know as this person you know as SKYWALKER means anything anymore."

it only got worse from there. One day I spent four hours figuring out how far the casino planet was from the drifting ships in the last jedi and doing math to figure out how long it would REALLY take to get there, using old canon star wars physics. I couldn't suspend my disbelief during that movie. everything was wrong. (the other space physics quibble I had was from TFA when poe is using comms while in hyperspace, and dropping out on a command and not... when nav told him to?? you'd fly right through a star!! were they HOVERING in hyperspace? none of it made sense.) I knew too much and too little to enjoy it.

TROS was a narrative mess already retconning new canon and I decided that I would only keep what I liked about the new canon (poe and his family) and pretend the old canon is all there is. one day I'll write the story of poe being part of the storied rogue squadron being sent by leia's new republic to put down the fascist upstarts at the edge of the unknown regions. one day.

one more quick story -- i met my college friend’s three kids for the first time when the oldest was 6. i’d sent a toy lightsaber as a gift when he was born, because i believe every child should get their first lightsaber from a skywalker, and his father had shown him the movies when he turned 4. when i walked into the house i said hello and he said, “i have some questions about star wars.”

we sat on the couch with the tfa visual dictionary, a book he’d gotten out of the library. every question he had was an excellent question, and i couldn’t answer any of them. “why does his lightsaber look like that? and why does he have the extra blades?” 

“well, kiddo, let’s see what it says here about how lightsabers are made. i used to know all about it, but they changed everything on me.”

---

what i love about star wars since disney bought it:

poe dameron, cassian andor (and all of rogue one, i got over the fact that the movie wouldn’t be about rogue squadron it was PERFECT), solo (a fucking DELIGHT), the mandalorian, and i’m sure the cassian andor live action will be amazing and i’ll love it. 

[anabe23bookwormstuff]

I. Fear and blood

(I played around with the ages because I wasn't sure how old Rey and Ben were, I just know for a fact that he is ten years older. Somewhere else I read that she was five when her parents left her on jakku and that Ben was 23 or 24 when he turned to the dark side so... in order forthings to work out I decided that... Rey is in this moment nine years old, soon to be ten. Ben is twenty and has recently joined Snoke, the other details will be told in the story  but about their ages I think  this is all. Thanks)

Exegol

Rey stood up, her grandfather had lifted her in the air and let her fall to the ground.

"I'm sorry" she said, having trouble breathing and clutching her body  as she stood up, tall, and looked her master.

"Don't say you're sorry, make it right!" he roared. This time some of the sith eternals were watching and clapped when Palpatine screamed.

Rey's eyes were burning but she couldn't allow herself to cry.

"Azam, Azam, Azam" they  chanted her name, again and again, making her more angry.

She concentrated once again, when she closed her eyes she felt a tear rolling down her cheek, and it raged her to be so weak. She extender her hand and with all of her anger and throbbing pain in her head she felt the big rock.

It's surface, it's weight and her force pulling it up.

She started sweating from the effort and panicked when a lightning flashed in front of her eyes, that last shot of fear was what helped her lift the rock and throw it away.

"Good, good!" Palpatine said.

"Silence! Azam, you've done well today. You can leave but you're to come back in two hours for your next task, understood?"  His grandfather lowered to look her straight in the eye.

He could see her sweat, even blood on her lips, maybe from when he smashed against the floor or because she had bit her lips during her concentration. He smiled. He felt hate, fear, rage, she was tired, all of this emotions coming from her.

His grandaugther would be the greatest Sith of all times.

"Yes, master" she responded.

Rey tried to ignore the shivers going up and down her spine as she walked to her room again. More like her own little cave on this horrible planet, and lit up a fire to warm her up.

At least here she knew there was no one else watching her.

She examined herself, today's bruises and was glad that at least this time she hadn't broken anything. She noticed that some blood had dripped on her shirt  and then felt the sting on her lips.

She got a glass of water and quickly cleaned her open lip, she would have to remember not to touch it for at least a week until it healed.

She sat on the floor and closed her eyes for a second.

"Come on!" she heard someone say. It was a man's voice she had never heard around here. She looked around her room with fear, only to find nothing.

Maybe she was imagining things again. It sometimes happened to her, those ecoes of things that weren't happening there, or flashes of images of somewhere far away... she wondered if she was crazy.

Elsewhere

"Kylo, run faster" Snoke's voice filled all the spaces.

He ran as fast as he could, leaving behind shadows of his past.

"Faster!" Snoke shouted and the ground beneath his feet shattered a little.

Kylo's feet hurt and he was drenched in sweat, he wasn't sure how long had he ran for but it felt like hours.

This wasn't a punishment, Snoke had told him earlier, this was something he had to do because he wanted him to be better.

To overcome his pain and use it as a strength.

"Can I rest... for a moment?" Kylo asked through gritted teeth.

"No, you must keep running"

But he felt like he couldn't, he'd breath the wrong way and now he coughed, unable to breath right and he had slowed down a little.

"Come on, don't be useless.!"

He composed himslf as he could and clenched his fists forcing himself to go faster and further.

"It was good, better than last week" Snoke said when he was finally allowed to stop.

Kylo could varely stand up.

"I'm glad, master." Kylo said, collapsing and trying to hide it by adopting a respectful stance. One knee on the floor and the other bent.

"Maybe one day you'll have proper condition. Now, move. Get yourself something to eat and finish your tasks before tomorrow" Snoke order.

The sudden warth Kylo had received from his master, former friend, was now gone.

He fell to his knees when Snoke was gone and allowed himself to let out his pain.

His feet were covered in blisters, some had exloded, stinging even more.

He felt like a failure, never able to reach his true potential, never able to please his master.

It wasn't the first time he felt like this, and it grgew even more and more everyday.

In the beginning he had  found trust in Snoke, a hope for a master who wouldn't turn his back on him and actually believed in him... but then, as his training started Snoke became more and more severe with him.

And in a sick way Kylo only wanted to gain his approval.

He retired to finish his tasks and after a very  long and exhausting day he was allowed to go to sleep.

He hated sleeping. At least for the past years... after the incident at Luke Skywalker's academy he almost always had the same dream.

Luke would come at night, to his room and try to kill him in his sleep with his lightsaber, then he would wake up covered in sweat and struggle to fall back asleep again.

He wanted to go back with the knights of Ren because they didn't sleep much, or even if they did they all had weird sleeping times and their noises would distract him enough to sleep well.

He read until he fall asleep and to his surprise he dreamed of a girl, again.

He had never been able to see her face, only hear her talk, or see her sitting somewhere, dark. Always dark and cold.

This time he saw her with a knife on her hand as she did something... he couldn't walk closer but after a moment he understood that the girl was carving something with the knife.

This dream quickly changed into a memory of him hurting Henix and he woke up startled.

"Like always" he mumbled, closing his eyes again and trying to calm down.

"Azam, finish writing it and then I'll tell you the surprise" His master instructed.

This was one of the lessons that Rey hated the most. The sith language had never been easy for her, at least now she had a decent writing but still... there were words that  confused her.

"Do you want me to read it?" she stood up and showed her grandfather her notebook, she was proud.

"Go ahead"

Rey  cleared her throath thearically and began.

"I Azam, follow the Sith code, which says:  Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken, the froce shall free me." she finished reading as Palpatine though about his young apprentice.

"Good"

"Graandfather... what is peace?" Rey asked after a moment.

"You don't have to wonder about such thing right now, Azam." he retorted.

He lowered himself a little to take her hand.

Nothing. Just curiosity. It was good  that this was as far as her mind was going.

He liked how easy it was to read her young mind, her feelings.

"I have a surprise for you ,Azam" he then said.

"What is it?" Rey would've jump with excitement but the last time she did she was punished and since that day she had learned to keep her reactions at bay.

"Would you like your own lightsaber?"  Palpatine asked, making Rey see a quick vision of herself wilding a bright red lightsaber.

"Yes, yes. Of course, only  if you think I'm ready" she added. She had trained with a quarterstaff before and his master always reminded her that one day she'll earn her lightsaber.

"You may be, but first. I want you to do one simple thing" the cables holding him up directed him backwards.

(So... what's coming it's definately child abuse, psychological abuse. In case you are triggered by this in any way I want to warn you. I feel terrible putting Rey through this, even Ben will have to face some abuse himself but...  the story needs it. I don't think it's okay in any level, I just think it gives them a background for how I want their minds to be at and the story to evolve. That's all, keep reading if you want.)

Rey waited patiently for her master to give her instructions. Her hands wanted to tangle on her long hair, which was now loose and would help her calm down a little but she knew she couldn't.

"Come here" he called.

She didn't hesitate.

"Open your hands and extend them"

She did and suddenly she felt something, a weight, little legs pressing against her palm.

Palpatine placed his hands over hers and closed them, leaving whatever he had put in her hands trapped inside.

Only then she started to feel panick.

"Kill it" he declared.

"What... why?" Rey identified the creature as one of the rats that  roamed around the planet.

"Kill. It" Palpatine's hands started to put pressure on hers, closing more around the rat.

"Wait... wait, pleas-"

"Are you trying to defy me?!" he questioned. A lightning revealed his raised eyebrow and empty eyes.

She shivered.

"No, master. But... master, is this ne-"

His hands went to her wrists and made pressure, faint lightnings started to appear on the tip of his fingers too. She started crying without being able to stop it.

"Azam!" she wanted to shout that her name wasn't even that.

"Please... please"  she couldn't let the rat go but she couldn't crush it either.

"Are you afraid?" he quuestioned.

"Yes!"

"Do you feel bad?"

"Yes!" her eyes were closed as she cried, the pressure on her wrists was hurting her and the animal on her hands had started scratching her,t rying to get away, hurting her too.

"Why? therer's nothing to feel bad about Azam. Do it!" his hands went back to hers.

"Wait! wait, please"  Azam was breathing heavy now.

"It's you or this animal!" he shouted. The animal was now bitting Rey's skin.

She wasn't sure that her grandfather would hurt her... but she couldn't trust it either.

"Come on!" he shouted  again and again to do it.

"I- I can't" she cried and only opened her eyes when she felt a slap across her face.

"You must be angry, you must hate me in this moment, and that hate is exactly what makes you strong. Stop caring about it! This stupid creatures life has nothing to do with you, it doesn't affect you. Your power lies upon using this fear and hate to do what I've asked of you." His voice was softer.

Rey thought about it, she closed her eyes and tried to clasp her hands together. The animal's cries intensified and a smile grew on Palpatine's face.

In the end... the girl was not ready to do it.

She threw the animal away, it hit the floor pretty hard, but she hadn't put enough strength to kill it and it started running away the moment it hit the ground, only to be burn in a second by Palpatine's lightning.

"Stupid girl" he spat at Rey.

"You've dissapointed me, Azam" as he came close to her Rey started crying again.

"Shut up. You need to learn to be strong, and today you've been weak. If you keep caring like this, you're never gonna allow the force to give yo true power. Go! and I hope that you think about your actions, because sooner or later, you'll pass this test." he retired and then she ran to her room.

She cleaned her wounds and noticed the bruises on her wrists. Her reflection on the small bathroom mirror was even worst than she imagined.

Her cheek was crimson red and the wound on her lip had opened again. Then she looked at her hands, they had stopped bleeding but the scratch and bite marks would be there for a while.

Her eyes were red from the tears and her nose was irritated.

In another place of the galaxy Kylo Ren found himself staring at his hands, for no reason, and a chill went down his spine.

"Hurry  up, boy" Snoke said noticing that Kylo had stopped walking.

"Yes, master" he kept walking and tried to shake off the sudden sadness that had came over him. It felt odd, out of place, not even like it came from him.

It distracted him the rest of he way to another place where Snoke was taking him to train.

[fallenrepublick]

Uh hi XD this is my first time asking for an x reader but uh here it goes. Soooo I'm wondering if you can write a Savage Opress x reader where our reader tags along with him throughout all his travels and is in love with him and patches him up after all the fights but after he finds Maul she feels left out and decides to be a dink and get herself captured by pirates and Savage because a fluffy protector even with his more animal instincts and goes and saves her and adorable fluff? Pretty please

Wow, thank you for giving me the great honor of being your first request! I’m very not good at fluff, but I did my best just for you! Enjoy!

You weren’t particularly vocal about your feelings. Not that it had ever really mattered one way or another, since the man you had been traveling with for years now seemed to favor action over spoken word. Savage Opress was a “brute force” sort of man, having been given unmatched physical ability thanks to the witchcraft of Mother Talzin on Dathomir. Even still, he often returned to his ship limping or holding his side after an encounter with a particularly skilled combatant, leading you to force him to sit and allowing you to bandage him with gentle hands, a practice you had developed during your travels.

He was seen as a monster everywhere he went, height pushing past the seven-foot mark, and a generally annoyed scowl plastered on his face constantly. Yet, when you looked at him, the first things that came to mind were not “monster” or “terrorist.” Instead, you saw a side that not many had the pleasure or privilege to experience. He often came to you with his worries and fears, even going so far as to hold you close when his past came back to haunt him.

“They called me monster,” he said to you once when you were taking care of a particularly nasty bruise that spanned the length of his ribcage. “Is that what I have become?”

You looked up at him, his face scrunched up, contemplating the words. “I’ve never thought of you that way,” you said, putting down the bandage for a moment and holding on to his wrist. “They don’t know you. I do.”

His face became more contorted. “And what do you know? All I am is violence and hatred. There is nothing else.”

“If that were true, I wouldn’t be here.” You smiled at him, but held to your firm tone. “You’ve shown me nothing but kindness the whole time I’ve been here. I don’t see a monster when I look at you. I see… someone who was hurt. A powerful, determined, sun-kissed Zabrak that will do all that he must for who he cares about.”

You smiled when a low chuckle sounded from his chest. “Sun-kissed?”

“Your skin,” you said, prodding an area of his arm not covered by tattoos or bandages. “It reminds me of sunlight.”

But those moments seemed to be gone now. Of course, you knew Savage had been given his strength for a purpose, initially to be an undercover apprentice to Dooku, and eventually to find his brother, Maul, who had been assumed dead for an upwards of twelve years. But once he was found, you weren’t sure what would happen. At first, you had thought things would go back to normal, albeit with a new member of the party helping to plot for revenge and a takeover of various people who would prove useful to the Sith lords. Instead, Savage had been pulled away from you, trading quiet moments of intimate conversation for being caught up in his extremist brother’s delusions of grandeur.

The most interaction you’d had with Savage for the past few months was periodic glances and small smiles passed between you two as Maul mapped out every movement he was forcing Savage to carry out. Even in times when you believed you could catch him alone, you’d find that his brother was already there, training him or discussing alternatives to existing plans. When you walked in, Savage saw you and softened his glance, but Maul only hardened, his eyes piercing into yours.

“Yes?” he would ask coldly, as if you were intruding on anything actually important. Savage would look down, the normally dominant creature becoming a mere tool for his new master to use at his disposal. Nevermind that he was the older sibling.

Your world was rocked to its core. This intruder into your life had taken from you the one thing that made all of this traveling and uprooting worthwhile.

Eventually, Maul had dragged you two to the surface of Florrum, gathering what pirate followers he could to take over the rest of the Weequay gang. The moment your ship landed on the planet, the siege began.

“Stay here,” Savage said to you before disembarking. “I’ll be back for you.”

He left before you could say a word. You scowled and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“Like hell I will. You’re not going to appreciate me? Fine. See what happens.” You waited a few moments before exiting the ship yourself, sneaking around the side to ensure that Savage didn’t see you, dust kicking up from the bare ground around your boots.

Blaster shots in the distance covered your hiding spots and burying any noise you made into obscurity. But of course, not long into your little adventure, a band of Weequay blocked your path, blasters raised up to your face. Your arms raised for insurance that they wouldn’t assume you were armed and shoot you before you had time to carry out your pseudo-revenge.

“Well well well,” one of the pirates grinned, spikes from his face moving up and down with his jaw. “What do we have here? A little loth cat poking her nose around in our business?”

Yet another Weequay came closer to you and poked your arm with the blaster. “Quite a lovely one aren’tcha? Might there be a person who’d pay a pretty price for your pretty head?”

You released a short sigh and looked at the sky. Seriously? But, you complied with their presses, certain that you’d get out one way or another. Not that you wanted to, exactly.

“There might be,” you shrugged, knowing they’d take the bait. And with such an affirmation, the pirates pulled at both of your arms, leading you back to their base.

The room you found yourself in was musty, a trace of mildew lingering in the air. It was fairly empty, a chair in the middle for you to be tied up in, but otherwise sound reverberated off the blank metal walls fiercely. It was perfect. The only thing you didn’t particularly like was the gag tied around your mouth, which also smelled like mildew.

The blaster sounds stopped. Cheering followed the silence, and the door opened. Hondo.

“How nice to see you, little bird!” he called out cheerily, spreading his arms as if inviting in a group hug. He snapped his fingers and the gag around your mouth was pulled down. “Now that the Jedi and those horned gentlemen are gone, we may proceed with introductions. I am Hondo Ohnaka, leader of this merry band of pirates! And you are?”

“They’re gone? All of them?” You were more incredulous than you thought you would be. You couldn’t believe Savage would just abandon you, not realizing you were gone.

“Er, yes,” Hondo hesitated. “They left a few moments ago. Why would it matter?”

You opened your mouth, about to insist that it didn’t, before sharp cries of pain echoed from the hallway. You could hear a deep voice crying out, “Where is she?!” in the distance.

Hondo whipped around towards the sounds. “And that would be my cue,” he said, backing away from the room and running through the doors.

Savage stomped in, one of the pirates necks held in his powerful grasp. His eyes widened at the state you were in.

“You!” He threw the pirate to the side and rushed to your side, working at the straps holding down your arms. “What did you think you were doing?! I told you to stay with the ship!”

Once you were released, you stood up, walking away from where he knelt. “Oh yeah? Were you there to make sure I did? Are you ever here to make sure of anything?”

He stood and tried to follow you. “What do you mean? I’ve been ensuring your safety for so long. No harm has come to you until now.”

“But that’s just the issue!” You turned to face him, tears welling up in your eyes. “It’s not about my safety, Savage! It never has been. In fact, I feel less safe now! All you do is follow your brother’s orders, carrying out his crazy plans that could get you killed! I don’t ever see you! The only conversation we’ve had until just now has been, ‘Brother this’ and ‘Brother that.’ ‘My Master this’ and ‘My Master that.’ It’s all you seem to care about! But what about me, Savage? What about-”

You couldn’t finish before he came to you and pulled you into his arms, his strength holding you close, yet being gentle enough not to hurt you. He smelled faintly of metal, but with a touch of honey. He was so… warm. Your hands were scrunched up in front of you and you rested your head on his chest, feeling the beating of his hearts.

“My only desire”,” he began, slightly tightening his hold on you. “Was that you would be safe. I follow my brother’s orders, because I fear the worst for you. I promise I did not know-”

You lifted your head to meet his gaze, cutting off his words of reassurance. “Savage…” you whispered, hoping no one else was around to hear you. “I love you.”

Clearly taken aback, he released you with widened eyes and mouth agape. “You… you love me?”

You smiled at him and nodded, waiting for his reaction. This wasn’t exactly how you had planned to let him know, but it was something. And thankfully enough, this was one of the few moments where you were finally alone.

He was suddenly beaming, his hands grasping your shoulders, almost covering your biceps. “I’d never imagined!” He was almost yelling now, the excitement taking full hold, and his voice made the whole room shake. “I only thought I was going mad! But it’s true! It’s amazing... because I love you as well!”

Your smile grew wider and he took you in his arms once again, almost lifting you off the floor this time. “We must go back to the ship,” he said to you, still pressing you against his chest. “I’m sure you don’t want to be here a moment longer!”

Before you had any time to respond, he knelt down and bent you over his shoulder, holding on to your legs as he walked back to the ship, a little more of a bounce in his step than usual.

[smokahuntis]

Olim Videns

Olim Videns

Pairing: Darth Maul X reader

Warnings: Angst

Summery: after having a dream of the figure soon to be known as darth maul, (y/n) Palpatine sets out to find her father his new apprentice.

Authors note: This takes place before Phantom Menace and when he was an apprentice, so he doesn’t have his fancy two sided lightsaber yet, and this is also my first time writing for him and so I fucked uo a lot on his character I’m sorry! But there will be a part 2!

(Y/n) Palpatine was no ordinary Sith, she was a seer, she could see people places and destinies before they happen. She could pick the best fit person for what job and who to kill at what time. She was the trophy of her father and the secret Sith Order. But she was also hidden, only those of her fathers circle knew she existed, in fear of betrayal or someone taking her. And to those who were not Sith, she was just a senator, a senator that was favorited by the Jedi.

Right now However she was in a Sith temple, meditating, trying to find the man she’s been seeing in her dreams. Trying to search for the red and black patterned skin she saw last night. Who was he? Where was he from? And why did he kneel for her father?

The dark cloak of the Zabrak drug across the marbled floor as he walked towards the throne of the Sith’s throne room. (Y/n) And her father sitting in the large centered chairs, he bowed slowly, laying his small black lightsaber next to him. Her father moved his hands motioning for (y/n) to act. Standing from her smaller throne she approached him, using the force to pick up the small toy of a lightsaber.

“Do you swear by the creed of the Sith to serve me, and my family till the day you die?” She said calmly but her voice still boomed threw the room, causing him to look up at her, catching her eyes as he did. That’s it, that’s what she needed she needed to see his eyes. Now his name, and she had him.

“I do, I swear by the creed of the Sith to serve you, Lady (y/n) and your father Emperor Palpatine.” He said looking at her. Her focus remained on his eyes as a lightsaber longer then any she’d ever seen before was pulled from her side and held in front of them gently. She held it out between the two of them, like rings at a wedding. He stood slowly and towered over her figure as he stood proudly. Both of his tattooed hands coming up resting under hers ready to take the lightsaber.

“I now dub thee, Darth Maul.”

 Her eyes shot up and she gracefully landed on the floor, her heals clicking as they carried her purr of her calm room and to the meeting her father held. No one tried to stop her as she entered, mainly because everyone in the room loved to look at her in her flowing black dresses. She was always so stunning and regal, no matter where she was. She was a princess in the Sith world and she would always carry herself like one, no matter where she was or who she was with. Not only was she beautiful and of high position but she was powerful, they’d seen her tear men apart with waves of her fingers, crush Jedi’s by just by winking. She was cruel and evil yet her eyes still were (Y/E/C). It was like she was two different people and the dark side was resting in her, waiting to be opened up by someone else’s Force.

Everyone’s eyes shifted to her as she entered, stopping what they were doing as their master spoke.

“Yes, Princess Palpatine?” Count Dooku asked, as he was the one speaking when she entered. Her eyes locked with the hooded man at the front of the table.

“Maul, a Zabrak from Dathomiri, I saw the evil in his eyes as we named him ‘Darth Maul’” she said as she rounded the table slowly, her heals clicking with each move.

“And his fate?” Her father inquired as he looked at her.

“Bound to us by death, bound to me by force...” she said which peaked his interest.

“By force?” He said looking at her, never had he thought someone would bound to her with the force, let alone a Zobrak she did not know.

“I can see him in my dreams... feel him as if he is there.” She looked down at her father. “He is strong, powerful, and filled with hate.” She pulled her small black saber from her side laying it on the table. “A fire I am willing to tame, if you will let me of course...” she said and he picked up the saber she used for so long.

“He will be my Padawan, you are not ready.” She furrowed her brows and looked at him.

“Not ready?” She asked, everyone in the room could feel the anger that started to boils inside her. She moved away from her father as she began to pace the room. “I have killed armies! I have killed jedi! And I have seen the future! Yet I am not ready to be a master? I am not ready to train someone else to my abilities....” she scoffed and looked away. “Maybe I should have became a Jed-“

“You are filled with to much rage to became a Jedi! You are careless! And cruel! They would never accept you!” He said standing and everyone moved away from their line of reach.

“Maybe I wouldn’t be fueled with so much rage if I had a father who cared for me! For who I am not what I can bring to the table! “ she shouted one last time, things in the room began to bend and break with her tone. “I am not a pawn! I am your blood, and if you won’t see me as such I will find someone who will!” With that she left, floating objects and items dropped and broke on the marbled floor as she went to her ship leaving for Irdonia in search of the Zobrak she connected with in her dreams.

—

He could see her again, in the black dress she always wore in his dreams. It was light and flowed with the winds of Irdonia, she was always beautiful in his dreams and he believed she was just his imagination, created to distract him from the things that troubled him. He believed she wasn’t real, but sometimes he swore he could feel her skin against him, feel her soul in his, and he couldn’t explain it. He knew he was force sensitive yet this was different, she was different. He could always feel her like she was with him, yet sometimes it was like she died, and her presence was far gone into the stars. He hated those days, he felt so alone with her gone, even tho he didn’t know if she was real or not. He needed to know, even if it was disappointing but he needed to know if she was real or just his mind helping him get along. He wanted to hold her and feel her skin aga-

“Maul?” A voice broke him from his thoughts, a voice he knew all to well but this time something was different, something was closer. “That is your name isn’t it?” They spoke again causing him to turn and look at the cloaked figure. Their hands came up and removed the hood, he couldn’t believe his eyes as they locked into the beautiful orbs he had only dreamed about.

“You’re real...” he said standing looking at her, his eyes raked her figure as he did so, she was even more stunning in person. When his eyes found hers again he could hear the small gasp as she finally saw him. “I thought... you were only my imagination...” she giggled at his reaction.

“And I thought you’d wear more clothing.” She said gesturing you his shirtless figure, his black Kasaya pants hung low on his waist showing off even more of his markings then she thought she’d ever see.

“I-I’m sorry, I was training...” he said before grabbing the rest of his tunic.

“Well, grab your things we’re leaving...” she said before picking up the end of her dress and beginning to walk away. He watched her before realizing he has no clue where she’s from, her name, or where they are going, but something told him to follow her.

“Wait where are we going?” He asked catching up to her.

“You want to become a Sith don’t you?” She asked looking at him, he stared at her dumbfounded by the question not expecting it from her. In his dreams she was always so peaceful and kind, not a sith, of course she dressed like one and sometimes would appear with yellow eyes but he thought it was tricks his mind was playing.

“Y-yes of course.” He said following her to the ship.

“Then it’s settled, you are my Apprentice.” She said with a smile before getting into the silvered ship and taking her seat, and him talking the one across from her. Two guards stood at her sides not taking there eyes off of him. They didn’t trust him and he could feel it, Hell right now he didn’t trust himself, not around her anyways.

“How did you find me...”

“I saw you in my mind.”

“Like I see you?”

“Sort of, you see me threw dreams, I see you threw the future, and what you can give to me and my family.” She leaned back looking at him with a smile that was as Pure as Obj-Wan Kenobi himself.

“You are going to be one of the greatest Sith to ever live.”

Let me know about a part 2!

Taglist: @hxldmxdxwn @jediminddicks1000

[xoruffitup]

TROS (Mis)Characterizations: What Was and What Could Have Been

What started as responding to an anon ask turned into an entire meta... but working out all these thoughts has at least eased a bit of my TROS pain. :’) 

From my perspective, TROS managed to destroy not only the characterizations built so far in the sequel trilogy, but also the entire story built upon these characters (mainly Reylo) as we knew them. While talking to a family member about the movie a few days ago and voicing my grievances with the story, he pointed out how someone could watch TFA and skip to TROS without realizing they’d missed much. That’s mostly true and entirely gutting.

Since I had an ask to talk about how TROS regressed in terms of characterization, I’ll start with the most hurtful of defacements: All of the nuanced vulnerability that made Kylo/Ben our most beloved character. We had absolutely nothing in TROS like the complex masterpiece moments of TLJ. Think back to “You are a monster.” / “Yes I am” – delivered with glowering menace as Kylo stalked closer, simultaneous to the tell of fragmented uncertainty in a quivering bottom lip and chin, all while his eyes remained completely riveted on Rey. Think back to “You’re not alone” – delivered with a wet sheen to his eyes in a soft cracked voice, but with self-loathing still smoldering behind his expression. Until the scene with Han, Kylo was shrunk into an entirely two-dimensional cookie cutter “villain” figure in TROS, seemingly more committed to the dark side and the First Order than he ever was to begin with in TFA. (I say “seemingly” because his true motives and interior dilemmas are frustratingly unclear in the entire first half of the movie. Cue me loathing the mask more than ever.)

Though Kylo seems uncharacteristically committed to the Supreme Leader role in TROS, considering he ended TLJ in a supplicating position fixing regretful eyes up towards Rey, luckily TROS did at least maintain the Force bond. …or at least the concept of it, because in execution the Force bond scenes achieved approximately nothing of what TLJ so uniquely excelled at: Creating a sense of intimacy, understanding, and forbidden tenderness between Rey and Ben. Instead of soft-spoken entreaties and promises across the soft glow of a fire or the dappling light of rain (ugh, remember the way light and shadow literally played out in contrasts across Kylo’s face during “I am a monster”? TLJ is a cinematic wonder, pass it on), we get scenes where the two yell and spit spite at each other. Most frustrating is how absolutely out of touch Kylo’s dialogue is with the Ben who was revealed through previous Force bond scenes. In a regression that makes absolutely no sense after Ben’s big proposal of “It’s time to let old things die: The Jedi, the Sith… I want you to join me” – he literally has the most reductive, bland, and meaningless lines such as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” ……..? Kylo has literally never been that boring or straightforward ever, not even since the TFA interrogation scene. He offered to be her teacher, sure, but never on terms that simplistic or blatantly combative to Rey’s will.

What I’ve always passionately loved and defended about Reylo is that Kylo never forced Rey to do anything harmful or against her will. Even pushing her to the painful moment of admitting the truth (or so we FUCKIN’ THOUGHT) about her parentage during the throne room scene did, in the end, help her character come to terms with repressed trauma and move forward in her journey of self-determination. (haha look at me, still stuck in my feminist goggles as if they haven’t been ripped off my head by TROS…) The point is: The TLJ Force bond was never a means of threat. It was never a tool for Kylo to say something as blatantly antagonistic as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” (Wow, did a Kindergartener write that? Come the fuck on, JJ.) And I was deeply disappointed to see the Force bond reduced to a tool used only to tell a part of the story unrelated to Reylo; rather than being the means of developing their relationship in and of itself.

This feeds into my overall biggest grievance with how Kylo/Ben was handled in this film. Similar to the Force bond – Ben’s character was reduced to a secondary prop piece who mostly served only as a narrative device in advancing the Rey-Palpatine plotline. Look, I imagined for months ahead of TROS the kind of candid Force bond conversations we might hear. Like “No one (knows me)” / “But I do.” (Where the FUCK did that line go?! Apparently JJ doesn’t know her…) Or perhaps Ben apologizing and opening up to Rey about how unhappy he is in the dark, how alone he feels. Instead…. we got shit like “You’re his granddaughter.” Like how dare they disrespect Academy Award Nominee Adam Driver’s talent like that?

Now, looking past the fact for a moment that the Rey-Palpatine addition is insulting, unoriginal, and sexist; there could have been a very interesting dynamic here. We would have the grandson of Vader and the granddaughter of Palpatine feeling very different pulls to both light and darkness, Force bonded together as they struggle with the weight of these legacies. Kylo, I imagine, was probably partially excited when he learned it, because maybe this means that Rey would understand him fully and perhaps this time, once she learned the truth, she would finally be with him. But nope, we don’t get nearly that much of a look into Kylo’s head. He does say at one point “You can’t go back to her (Leia), just like I can’t,” but the line missed the mark a bit for me because TROS still had Kylo appealing to Rey from the perspective of “Join the dark side as if we’ve done away with all that grey morality complexity we introduced last movie” – rather than from the perspective of “Neither of us should feel alone ever again.”

I’m rather unspeakably bitter that we had no exploration into what Palpatine’s return meant for Ben. I imagine he would have gone a bit wild upon learning that the man who was responsible for his grandfather’s fall was still alive. And the revelation of “I have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head”? This was enough to bring Ben Solo stans to tears before we even watched the movie, and yet it was treated completely off-handedly. Ben never even gets his own moment of coming to terms with Palpatine’s return. No “My grandfather killed you – how is this possible?” Nothing like that at all – even though he’s the character who would be most affected by his return in terms of legacy implications. Nope; Ben’s first encounter with Palpatine at the beginning of the movie – the same encounter where we learn Palpatine has apparently been behind all of the dark side grooming, manipulation, and isolation Ben has suffered since he was literally in the womb – quickly veers towards “Kill the girl / She is not who you think she is.” Early warning here that Ben Solo as a character in dire need of resolution is about to be treated with utter apathy by this film.

Here’s where I need to pause for a moment of self-awareness. While arguing with my Dad about this movie (he loved it), he threw at me that he thought I was being anti-feminist because I disliked the ending of Rey being alone. I quickly did my best to disabuse him of the idea that feminism = women being forever alone. This did make me think though about the implications of TROS veering away from the dual protagonist story framework that had been established up to this point; in favor of a narrative with Rey as the single and clear protagonist. The two main reasons I had such a knee-jerk reaction against this shift were A) It left a bad taste in my mouth after Rey ended TLJ emboldened by her acceptance of her past and unremarkable lineage; and B) It upended Reylo as the foundation of the entire story – also which we’d been led to expect. And I’m not just talking TLJ – I’m referencing back to JJ’s own Director’s commentary for TFA where he says “Now back to the story we really care about” when the film goes back to Rey and Kylo’s forest battle; who described Kylo as “a sort of prince,” and insinuated “you get the feeling there’s more going on here” when Kylo decided to spirit off Rey on Takodana. JJ set all the fucking clues here and then apparently forgot about each and every one.

However – am I perhaps not being fair to Rey in my disappointment that she doesn’t end the film in domestic bliss with Ben? Was I expecting something beneath her potential? Can I really say it’s a bad thing that the narrative rearranges itself in this film to focus chiefly on her? 

The reason it all sits so wrong with me is because Rey’s characterization became bastardized for the sake of her solo narrative. Her character was essentially entirely effaced. The emphasis of her journey thus far pointed towards the crafting of one’s own identify; to the fact that might and greatness can reside within anyone, and it is up to that person alone to decide what kind of life to live with such power. Rey’s development at the end of TLJ indicated she’d found freedom from her past, and was now fully embracing the act of forging her own path without any constraints or shadows. But then, this road she’d been paving for herself was abruptly switched in TROS to one already completed and well-traveled, lined with unoriginal identity struggles and a copout for assigning Rey’s instincts of aggression and passion to the hereditary and ungendered “dark side.” This sudden switch stripped away all of Rey’s unique identity struggles, as well as her agency to define her own story.

Confining Rey to such an unoriginal and unfortunate struggle also required that her own goals and desires be changed as well. When faced with a legacy of evildoers, Rey’s story immediately shifts away from being focused on her, and rather to remedying the mistakes of men who came before. Rey’s own story was about a thousand times more interesting when she was in the center of it. As a twitter post I saw a few days ago but now frustratingly can’t find said very aptly: Male viewers found “Rey Skywalker” satisfying because they see a happy ending as being the “best” or the most powerful. Female viewers see a happy ending as being truly seen, understood, and valued for the person one is. (If anyone knows the source, please let me know...)

Rey used to say she wanted to learn “her place in all this.” That doesn’t indicate a thirst for greatness or power; but rather for belonging and connection. She has spent most of her story so far thinking back to her parents, then spent a solid 2 minutes in TROS looking longingly and smiling at the alien babies on Pasaana, which hello motherhood signaling. She has been happiest in moments when she felt valued and connected to those around her.

The idea of having greatness bestowed upon her by some external entity (aka a man) was already examined and rejected in TLJ. (Read: throne room proposal scene.) But in TROS, this act of external determination is thrust onto her regardless of her will. In so doing, her possession of a legacy rewrites and predetermines all of her goals, battles, and the key facets of her identity. She no longer has the freedom to embrace and cherish her found or chosen family; instead, her goal is to rid herself of the “family” that’s been thrust upon her – making what’s now presumably her happy ending of being disconnected from her assigned family the complete opposite from everything her character previously yearned for. Standing alone in a desert with the company of only half-remembered spirits is likely what filled the nightmares of young Rey of Jakku.

This is, of course, why the dual protagonist/Reylo narrative we expected to see in this film was so compelling. While doing none of Rey’s decision-making for her or removing any agency from the formation of her own identity; her force-bonded relationship with Ben offered Rey belonging, understanding, and purpose. Ben was the only character who could understand how debilitating and frightening it was to feel her Force sensitivity come alive and waver between the light and dark; just as he was the only one who could comfort her in that conflict without infringing on her independence. Once we saw dark!Rey in that D23 footage, I think every Reylo imagined scenes where Palpatine begins to sink his control into Rey’s mind and Ben rushes to her side to pull her back towards the light, because he knows all too well what those voices are like inside his head and he’d rather hear them all again than watch Rey suffer it.

From several perspectives, Reylo fighting and defeating Palpatine together is also the only ending that makes sense from a holistic storytelling perspective. (I mean both of them wielding blue sabers against Palpatine and fighting together in tandem – rather than that single crowd-pleaser shot of them hefting their complementary lightsabers together before Ben gets brushed off into a pit…) While Ben is the legacy character, representing all that our beloved original characters fought and suffered for; Rey is the new-generation character, representing a new age and the banishing of old mistakes which continued to perpetuate conflict. Only these representatives of new and old; of royal legacy and self-made upstart; could truly banish all of the harm committed in the galaxy by Palpatine and remedy all the loss and suffering effected throughout the Skywalker line. To have only a single character recently revealed to be related to Palpatine facing him alone (no matter how “badass” that might make said female character seem by superficial standards), rather than a union with the single remaining descendant of the Skywalker line himself is simply unsatisfactory and directionless storytelling. It is Palpatine’s manipulation towards three generations of Skywalkers that was the sole catalyst for all of the warfare, struggle, and conflict we’ve witnessed throughout this entire 9-film series. To not even engage with Ben Solo-Skywalker’s troubled relationship to that heritage and to completely fail in realizing the emotional catharsis and resolution that stood there waiting is nothing short of infuriatingly shortsighted storytelling. J.J. claimed in several interviews that this film was crafted with the entire preceding story in mind, as a cap to everything that came before. I have absolutely no idea which story he was referring to.

And so, from the perspectives of this film alone, the sequel trilogy, and the entire 9-film saga as a whole – Yes, I do claim that it was a poor decision in terms of story telling and character integrity to reconfigure the narrative to focus solely on Rey. For the reasons just mentioned, it was an utter disservice to Rey’s character arc. To reduce all of the tragedy, charisma, and youthful potential in Kylo/Ben’s character to a secondary narrative device is nothing short of shameful. Not to mention wasting all of Adam’s potential for playing truly heart-wrenching scenes of Ben’s penitent soul-searching. I will never forgive the fact that Ben had literally not a word of dialogue after his quick conversion scene halfway through the movie. Not only does he play no major role in the final battle with Palpatine, but aside from charging in heroically and doing a phenomenal Solo Shrug, he isn��t allowed a single moment of interiority. He has no speech to Palpatine declaring his change of heart and his reclaimed heritage. Perhaps most painful of all – he and Rey never even have their Big Talk where we expected Ben to apologize for the doings of Kylo Ren and for both of them to affirm their desire to be together and their devotion to each other. Adam did a pretty amazing job demonstrating all that in how he cradled Rey’s body and couldn’t even bear to look into her lifeless face (RIP my heart). But no matter how phenomenal and tender the Reylo kiss was, how luminous Rey’s smile was when she said “Ben,” and how achingly loving his eyes were when he looked at her – I can’t help feeling crushingly cheated that their love itself wasn’t what enabled the victory. Rather than the strength they lent to each other through a union that defied light-dark dichotomy (as it should have been and as the story was previously leading towards), it was rather Rey’s miracle heritage that won the day. The fact that Ben never says a damn word when he stands before Palpatine, or when Rey kisses him and he finally realizes she does care for him too – makes both their bond and Ben’s entire character feel like a throw-away prop only there for Rey to wear so long as this feeble story needed it.

I’ve been trying to put my finger on what made TROS�� plot so underwhelming and lifeless compared to TLJ or even TFA. The difference between TLJ and TROS in the simplest terms is that TLJ’s narrative was character-driven, whereas TROS subjected its characters to a narrative. Rather than a huge space battle, TLJ’s biggest moments are Rey and Kylo’s throne room proposal and Kylo and Luke’s showdown on Crait. Both of these moments had huge emotional stakes for the characters involved, which was what made them epic. TROS’ narrative, meanwhile, uses twists like the Rey Palpatine reveal to manipulate its characters in inorganic directions, and builds towards a finale that is unrelated to any of the long-standing challenges our heroes have confronted throughout the story. TROS derided its characters down to mere tools for a superficial spectacle of a story. TLJ, on the other hand, made its characters the story. It’s no wonder I found myself strangely numb and disconnected the first time I saw TROS.

Now, I’m just angry and disappointed. Disappointed that such brilliant, wonderful characters were wasted. Angry that we’ve imagined a hundred endings more appropriate and fair to the characters we hold dear. I am trying to appreciate what I can from the film and hold on to the few beautiful moments, but I definitely plan on writing my own fic version of how TROS might have played out, had it upheld the complexity and integrity of its characters. Even still, I’m quite sure we all know and understand Ben Solo much better than J.J. or Chris Terrio, so in our hearts Ben will find the happy ending he deserves.

[gffa]

I HAVE SOME FEELINGS ABOUT PADME AMIDALA and why, despite that I get a lot of people hated her ending and I can’t entirely disagree that it was because her character wasn’t written for her own sake, but for Anakin’s sake, that I still have a lot of feelings about this and why it’s intensely important to me personally. I’ve been giving Padme’s character a lot of thought lately, as I’ve been digesting Queen’s Shadow and how it’s made me really have to untangle a lot of the feelings I have about her character.  One of the things you need to know about me is that I love complicated, messy female characters, that they are so very much my jam.  My main blog is dedicated to female characters and one of the things I often look for when wanting to reblog stuff is, “Is this woman kind of a jerk sometimes?  But still unequestionably a hero of the story?  OMG, MY LOVE, MARRY ME.”  Or “Is this woman kind of failing at something, but I never question that she’s a worthwhile person to tell her story?  OMG, I LOVE HER, TELL ME MORE.” So much of this comes from my frustration with how women are portrayed in media, that in order to be “good” characters, they had to be all things to all women, which meant they had to be perfect.  Which, itself, was also a limitation on the characters, it was a reaction to the limitations of them, rather than just letting the characters be.  In order for them not to be torn to shreds, they had to have absolutely no flaws, they had to be able to do everything just as well and still were only considered half as good as the male characters by a lot of people.  Male characters get to run the gamut and we never have to justify that character type, whether they’re the best person ever or the worst person ever or somewhere in between.  They can just be. Women, on the other hand, if they have a flaw, it gets magnified a thousandfold and then they’re just a worthless bitch.  I want to reject that idea so hard.  No!  Give me snotty, not always nice, but whole-heartedly good women!  Give me smug, arrogant, asshole but whole-heartedly good women!  Give me messy, complicated, depressed, mean but whole-heartedly good women!  I wanttttt themmmmm allllll and I AM GOING TO MARRY THEM ALL. This is why I do really love Star Wars, I can get an absolute array of those characters, from the softest, kindest, “weakest” character, to the nastiest, meanest, but sympathetic character, to the full on villain who isn’t redeemable at all but can still be cool.  Yeah, SW still has a long ways to go (especially in terms of diversity–we’re inching forward, please give me more, LF! I’m so ready!!) but there are so many women I love. So, for me, I really, really like the complicated, messy Padme of Revenge of the Sith.  I get that a lot of people see her differently and feel like she was written only for the sake of Anakin’s manpain, that a lot of people hate that she died of a broken heart, and I can’t say I disagree that she probably got really shafted in terms of it being her story.  But I really want to find meaning in her story and look at it from her point of view, and, for me, Padme has always been someone who is a GIANT BALL OF FEELINGS, so much so that she cares intensely about people she just barely met and remembers them for years afterwards, but also that she can be blinded to the suffering of others because the other person she cares about is right in front of her.  Padme’s willingness to ignore the murder of the indigenous children on Tatooine, her willingness to ignore the murder of the Jedi children and go raise their baby together with Anakin, for me those things are about a Padme who is utterly relatable to me in that her feelings are so intense they burned the candle at both ends, and eventually that consumed her. The fall of the Republic, the fall of democracy, the fall of Anakin, the increasing isolation we see of her during AOTC and ROTS, where her fire is steadily snuffing itself out because it’s using up all her oxygen, is part of what draws me to her character.  Not because Padme is lesser or more of an asshole for this, but because she’s relatable to me, because I love her and feel for her and cry for her, what she goes through and how it tears at her. Padme being so strong that she can sway entire governments to her plans and being so weak that she dies of a broken heart when she loses the Republic and Anakin?  THAT’S MY GIRL, THAT’S IT, THAT’S HER, THAT’S THE ONE I LOVE AND WANT TO INTERNET MARRY. In the struggle to come to this understanding of how I feel about this character, I realized something that I’d never quite connected to before--I strongly identify with Padme’s giving up on life.  I’ve had suicidal thoughts for almost my entire life, that if there had been a way for me to just give up on life, to just lay down and not exist anymore, I don’t think I would still be here today.  The only thing that stopped me was that I wasn’t actively aggressive enough about it.  I didn’t precisely want to die, I just didn’t want to live, either.  It took me a very long time to get to a better place, but I can still look back on that time of my life and intensely remember how I felt--I know my family and friends love me, but I’m such a burden on them, I’m failing them, yes, they’d be sad when I was gone, but they’d heal, they wouldn’t have this weight dragging them down, they would be better off without me, because this world is so painful for me to live in, that I wish I wasn’t in it anymore. When I look at Padme Amidala, I see someone who burned so brightly, but that she crumbled bit by bit.  I see someone who had no one to turn to when she was crying alone in her apartment as the Republic was falling, as the Jedi Temple burned, and Anakin was falling off the cliff.  I see someone who, instead of continuing to push for something she felt strongly about, dropped it when Anakin was was upset about it and said, “Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo.”  I see someone who knew how badly Anakin’s dreams upset him and what he was capable of when the worst happened, like on Tatooine, and said, “They’re just dreams.” because she was trying to hold all of this together.  I see someone who had no time to address the underlying problems in the Republic because of the 20 tire fires going on, who had no time to address the underlying problems in her marriage because there were 20 more tire fires going on, and I see someone who lost them both. I see someone who pleaded on Mustafar, ignoring more murder of children, to come away with her and raise their child together.  I see someone who passionately believed that love would save them all and it didn’t, Anakin still became Darth Vader, the Republic still fell, the Jedi still died, and she felt like everything she’d done was nothing, she’d failed them all. I can all too easily imagine myself in Padme’s place, feeling like I’d failed at everything, like I wasn’t enough, no matter how brightly I burned, no matter how much I poured myself into my efforts to help people and change the world around me, that I cannot live in it anymore, that even if they’ll be sad without me for awhile, I would only fail them again.  That there were some things about myself that it took me a very, very long time to be able to face and deal with. So many of the arguments against Padme’s death often come around to, “She wouldn’t just give up!” like Padme’s too good to be depressed and suicidal, like she’s better than that.  Which then implies that the people who struggle with this are somehow lesser or worthless, that because I have felt this way before, because I would be dead now if I could die in a fairy tale way of just giving up on life, that I’m lesser and worthless, too.  That my struggle with this makes me bad.  Which is not my favorite feeling in the world, no. I don’t demand that anyone agree with me, nor do I necessarily think this was the narrative intent.  But I see a woman who cried alone in her apartment, I see a woman who couldn’t face some things that she couldn’t deal with, I see a woman who tried and tried and tried and failed (in her eyes), I see a woman who was capable of great things but was crushed under the weight of loss and quite possibly her own thoughts. And I see a lot of myself there.  So, Padme Amidala dying of a broken heart, losing the will to live, being unable to live even for the people she has left, that struck a hard resonating note with me.  In the same way that Anakin’s anxieties and fears consumed him has meaning for me (as someone who suffers through a shitload of anxiety), so too does Padme’s depression and willingness to give up.

[spectraspecs-writes]

Korriban - Chapter 83

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 82. Chapter 84.

@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.

——————

Well, that’s interesting. The Star Map on Tatooine was obviously in a cave, but this one is more like underground. But not like a natural cavern. It was constructed, or at least constructed around. Bastila isn’t in the quarters when I wake up, so as soon as I get dressed, I head out into the main hold. Carth’s in there, sitting in front of an untouched cup of caff. No idea how long it’s been there, or how long he’s been there, but the cup isn’t steaming so it’s obviously cold.

Bastila’s in there, looking a little dazed, but when I come in, she sits up and looks at me. “You felt it, yes?” she asks, “Another vision? The Force continues to work through us; showing us the Star Maps unearthed by Revan and Malak.” She looks a little unsettled now. “There are some who believe Korriban is the birthplace of the Sith… this planet is an evil place. There are secrets here best left uncovered.”

I sit down next to her. “It looked like the Star Map was underground somewhere.”

“Yes, during the vision I felt cold and trapped, almost as if I was buried alive. It felt… it felt like we were in some kind of tomb. No doubt things will become more clear once we discover the Star Map's location.”

“Right, about that ‘we,’” I say, “I think if you go out there, the Sith might recognize you.”

She resituates herself. “Hmm…” she says, “…maybe you're right. Most of the dark Jedi would only know me by name, but there are a few among them who might recognize my face. For the safety of our mission I must remain on the Ebon Hawk while we are on this planet.”

“That seems wise,” I say.

She gives a small nod. “Have you thought about who you do want to accompany you?” she asks, “I know you prefer to have both a ranged fighter and a Jedi.”

“Yeah,” I say, “Obviously can’t bring you. And Juhani - she’s already been to the Dark Side. I don’t want to put her back in that position. Which leaves Jolee.”

“I agree, he is the smart choice,” she says, “He’s powerful enough in the Force to shield your presence from the Sith. And for a ranged fighter? HK-47 would fit right in, I’m sure.” She grins at that.

“I’m sure he would, but I’m taking Carth.”

“Damn right, you are,” he says. Which is the first indication I have that he’s actually awake.

Bastila’s not a big fan of that. “I see,” she says in that disappointed neutral tone she has, “Rena, may I speak to you in private?” I shrug and follow her. She goes into the communications room and closes the door. “Are you sure bringing Carth is wise?” she asks, “After all, your feelings for him are quite strong. Or are you going to deny them again and insult both our intelligence?”

Oh, God, this again? “It doesn’t matter how wise it is, I wouldn’t be able to keep him here if I wanted to,” I say, “Jordo said his son is here, if I don’t bring him with me, he’ll go off looking for him himself and get us all in trouble, blow our cover. No, he’s coming.” I hate that look on her face. “And by the way,” I add, “my feelings for Carth are none of your business.”

“Rena…” she says in that disapproving teacher voice she gets, “I’ve said before, and it’s even more relevant now. These feelings for Carth could lead you to the Dark Side.”

I hate that! Even after the conversation with Jolee last night, which I would love to tell Bastila about and explain to her all of that, even though I know she would never listen to me. And I - you know, I could be patient enough to explain it to her if she wasn’t so damn holier-than-thou all the damn time! “You’re one to talk!” I exclaim, “Listen, I know how close you’ve gotten with Canderous. Hell, I’m pretty sure I heard the two of you having sex the other night! And you’re telling me about my feelings and the Dark Side? Like hell! Why do you get to have something and I don’t? Huh? What the hell kind of double standard is that?”

“Rena, that’s not what I meant…”

“So what did you mean?” How is she going to back away from this?

“I only meant that, those feelings, here, are incredibly dangerous!” she says, “Anywhere else, they’re foolish but understandable. But here on Korriban - the homeworld of the Sith! The Dark Side is particularly strong here already! I don’t want your feelings to cloud your judgement when it’s so easy for you to fall.” She stops and looks at me. “You don’t believe my reasons, do you?”

“Get the hell out of my head, Bastila,” I say, and I start to leave. “And for the record, no, I don’t. I’m frankly sick of your holier-than-thou attitude about this whole thing, and in general. You’re not my master, you’re not my mother, and you’re making it difficult for me to consider you my friend!”

“Calm down, Rena,” she says. Like hell! “Anger can lead…”

“Shut up about the fucking Dark Side! I get it, okay? God!” I know, I know, I’m fine. I take a deep breath and try to speak more calmly. “If I want your advice, I’ll ask for it.”

“Very well,” she says with a big sigh, “I will leave you be.”

I walk out a lot angrier than I mean to. I just need to calm down a bit. I almost crash into Jolee, but I stop myself before I barrel full-force into him. “You all right, lass?” he asks.

“Just a bit riled up,” I say, trying to take deep calming breaths, “Bastila giving me crap again. Would you come with me onto Korriban?”

“Yes, I think that would be a wise idea,” he says, “When would you like to leave?”

“I want to swap out my implant, then we can go,” I say, “I’ll wait by the ramp.” He gives me a small nod and we part ways. I go back to the starboard quarters and swap out the adrenaline implant I’ve got in there with one that should calm me down a bit more. The adrenaline was great when I was having allergy problems - now, not so much. And no, I don’t think the adrenaline caused my reaction to Bastila. It didn’t help, but it didn’t cause it. Either way, going out this angry is not a good idea. I need to focus, on the Star Map mostly but also on finding Carth’s son. And on not standing out.

Czerka controls the docks here, like the last two planets, but it seems different here. We walk up to the dock master. “Ahh, I see,” he says, “Another Jedi come to small Korriban, yes? Good to meet you.” He’s a lot nicer than the other Czerka dock masters.

“Jedi come here often, do they?” I ask.

“There are many people who come to Korriban from throughout Sith space, hoping to join the academy. Some of them are Jedi who have left the order. You will get into the academy for certain.” Who, me? “I understand Jedi who have left the light side are made very welcome.”

Seems like a cover has been established for me. Nice. “So I imagine.”

“But enough about that,” he says. Right, he’s about to ask me for money, I should get ready to tell him otherwise. “It is very nice to see that the Ebon Hawk has returned. I have not seen that ship for some time, indeed.” Wait, what? That really threw off my rhythm. “Since you're a regular to our little colony, the docking fee is only 25 credits.”

“Uh… sure,” I say, “Here.” I pull out my datapad and transfer the credits.

“Excellent,” he says, “Continue on through. Please be aware that the colony is under Sith jurisdiction. I'd advise you to stay out of their way.”

“We usually do,” Jolee says, and we walk on through. So now I’m out twenty-five credits. Which isn’t a big deal in and of itself, I can just sell a blaster pistol and make that back twice over. I’m just a bit more surprised that I gave it. But whatever, I shrug it off. 

Trouble coming. The first of a lot of trouble. “No,” I hear a human man scold, “that is the wrong answer. Again! You pathetic hopefuls can't possibly all be this stupid, can you?”

“P-please, Master Shaardan!” someone pleads, “Give us a chance! We'll do anything to get into the academy!”

As we get closer, I can see this Shaardan. God, what a prick. He’s the kind of guy who would kick a puppy for laughs. And now he’s got three people feeding his ego. He huffs pridefully. “I'm no master… yet… but I like the sound of that,” he says, grinning, “Alright, one more question, though the lot of you are trying my patience. Alright. Let's say you become a Sith and I am your commanding officer. I give you an order to spare the life of an enemy. Do you do it?”

Hell, I know the answer to that one. In that situation you would kill both the enemy and your leader, who’s obviously gone soft. That’s the Sith way, anyway. But these guys are a bit desperate. “Oh, of course, Shaardan!” one of them says, “Anything you command us!”

“We would never oppose you!” another says.

“No, no, no!” Shaardan says with a sigh, “Do you honestly believe that the Sith are in need of such sniveling cowards? Mercy is a weakness. If your leader shows weakness, it is your duty to kill him and show true authority, true power! That is why the Sith are strong.”

Oh, God, he’s going to kill them and they know it. “Th-thank you, Shaardan,” the third stammers, “We, uh… we understand now!”

“No, you don't understand,” he says, “And you probably never will. You wouldn't survive five seconds in the academy - the other students would tear you apart!” They start to tremble, as hard as they’re trying not to. “Bah!” he exclaims, “I can't be bothered with fools! Perhaps… I should… hmmm…”

And then he turns to me. Oh, shit. “You! Jedi!” he says, “You're looking to get into the academy, are you not?” Then he scoffs a moment. “Of course you are - why else would you be here? Let me pose a question to you. These hopefuls will never survive in the academy. A lesson must be taught, here, but I am at a loss as to what form it should take.”

Carth scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Oh, this is rich,” he says under his breath.

Jolee takes a more adversarial approach. “Well, if you can't think of anything cruel you really shouldn't be out here, young man, should you?”

Shaardan sneers at him. “I wasn’t talking to you!” he shouts at Jolee. Then he acknowledges me again. Oh, good God, that look on his face, he thinks I’m attracted to him, because of course I am, he’s the greatest person and the strongest Sith on the planet, isn’t he? Maybe even in the sector, maybe even the galaxy! God, I hate people like that. I’d punch him, but that doesn’t seem like a good idea right now. Shaardan walks closer to me, and talks like he’s ordering a meal. “I'm thinking to spare them the effort of being killed and do it myself,” he says, “Perhaps I shall turn their skin inside out? Or Force Lightning? It is a most impressive display. Or perhaps a bit of humiliation is in order? I could easily strip off their tunics and make them run through the colony. Or they could lose all control of their bodily functions… What do you think, darling? I just can't seem to decide.” Did he just grab my ass?

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jolee holding Carth back. Which is a good idea - I’ve got this. “You know,” I say, leaning into a bit of a sultry voice, “I think you should let them go.”

He moves away, out of either shock or disgust. I don’t care - if it gets his hand off my ass so be it. “Let them go?” he repeats, “And what could possibly convince me to do that?”

“They aren’t worth your time,” I say, still with the sexy voice. He’s not as into it anymore, but it certainly helps feed his ego. I’m not going to take him down a peg now. I’d much rather get these people out of the way.

Shaardan sighs. “I suppose not, but you're as boring as they are.” Good, I can relax. He turns back to them. “Fine, fine, go on, all of you. Hopefully you've learned something here.” They run before he can change his mind. Shaardan touches me again before he leaves.

Carth is incensed. “If Jolee hadn’t held me back, I would have killed him,” he says.

“Believe me, I wanted to punch him, too,” I say. At least he’s gone and we can go.

More trouble up ahead, of the same arrogant variety. Thankfully, there’s no innocents to get out of the way this time. Just a group of Sith Academy punks who missed their chance to be bullies as kids. “Look here, my dear friends,” says their ringleader, a human - a woman who would be pretty attractive if she wasn’t such an asshole, “We have some newcomers to the colony… led by a Jedi, no less.” 

“Great,” Carth mumbles, “just what we needed. Some punks come to steal our lunch credits.”

“I don't believe I've seen any of them before, have you?” she says.

Jolee does a small scoff. “Well, if you'd seen us before, we wouldn't be newcomers, would we?”

She laughs. “Smart-mouthed newcomers, to boot.”

“Looks pretty fresh to me, Lashowe,” one of her friends says.

“That's what I thought,” she says, “Well, stranger, I don't know whether you're aware of this or not, but here on Korriban the Sith do as they please. And we are Sith. Quite literally, whether you live or die depends upon our whim. What do you think of that, hmm?”

“I think threatening a stranger is a weird thing to do,” I say, “Does that sort of meager power trip make you feel better about yourself?”

“Those are brave words for such an insignificant person,” Lashowe says, “Do you not realize how many Sith are here in Dreshdae?”

“Twelve?” Jolee says, “No, wait, thirteen!”

“Is this a raffle?” Carth says sarcastically, “How many guesses do we get?”

One of Lashowe’s friends gets pissed. “Let me kill this one, Lashowe! Let me do it!”

“Now, now,” she says, holding him back, “let's not be hasty. Perhaps our friend here could yet offer up some amusement.”

“You want amusement, hit the cantina,” I say, “I’m not a dancing girl.”

It feels tense between me and Lashowe for a moment before one of her friends laughs. “Looks like this one's not afraid of you at all, Lashowe.”

She gets mad at him. “Are you going to let us be insulted?!”

“Oh, get over yourself already,” he says, “I’m tired of this.”

A third agrees. “Yeah, this one's got some backbone, at least,” he says, “Let's go.”

Lashowe, obviously overruled and obviously upset about it, leaves with them. “Fine,” she says, not fine, “I'll deal with you later.” Ooh, I’m all a-tremble. Get real. 

[jflashandclash]

Time frame: Several months after the last short, After Sea of Monsters and before Titan’s curse.

 Big Boy Conversations

Story VI

             “Kronos has been waiting thousands of years. He can wait another decade.” The witch boy glowered.

“No—Camp Half-Blood now knows,” said the servant of the Titan Lord. “We need to find another way to accelerate his rise.”

                                                                  -Overheard in the Captain’s Quarters                                                  

           For the first time in what felt like years, Luke had a full night’s rest. These days were becoming rare: days when his thoughts were his own. No shrieks of Kronos. No passive mutterings about the bitterness of existence (other than his own bitter mutterings). No hisses about how weak Luke was—a demigod, pathetic for needing to sleep, for needing to eat, for needing to do anything other than the mission, for caring for his old friends for—

         The tip of Axel’s sword would have slashed across Luke’s chest guard had he not pivoted backwards.

         Luke tried to shake the whispers from his thoughts. Those weren’t useful when sword fighting. Kronos wasn’t in his head right now. The last thing Luke wanted was Kronos’ internal cheerleading when the Titan wasn’t around.

         Especially when it meant that Luke would lose his sword.

         The motion was so quick that Luke didn’t have a chance to disengage. He’d gone to lunge for Axel, only to have Axel arch his blade, locking Luke’s, and disarming him.

         There was a pause.

         Luke’s sword clattered onto the deck.

         For such a short moment that Luke wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it, Flynn paused in drilling the younger recruits to scrutinize them.

         Then she was barking orders again.

         Axel froze.

         The jaguar boy’s tufted ears tucked low to his hairline. His golden eyes went wide, flicking—as Luke learned they often did—to figure out where his little brother was before returning to Luke. (His little brother was sparring with Mercedes.) He kept his sword in a defensive stance, the tip shuddering, like he feared Luke would blast him off the ship with some hidden Sith Lord power.

         Fear, Luke realized. Kronos would have been thrilled that Axel’s reaction to winning a bout was fear. Axel may have won this, but he still knew his place.

         It made Luke feel sick. This soldier would fight alongside him in Kronos’ honor guard. Or…. Or they would protect Luke himself, depending on how the Titan Lord chose to reform. Luke chewed his lip. Would Luke be himself anymore if that happened? If Kronos took over his body? That sense of nausea twisted his stomach tighter.

         Either way, he should have been excited, if not proud, that Axel had bested him.

         The sight of Axel’s fear made him sick for another reason. It reminded Luke of his nightmares about Thalia’s eyes, wide and brimmed with horror upon seeing him. That was the last thing he wanted from her.[1] Those nightmares, like Kronos’ cheerfulness, were distractions while training.

         Luke gave Axel a smile, hoping it didn’t twitch. “Nice disarm, dude,” he cheered. Sometimes, he forgot how to make his voice sound encouraging.

         Several people had stopped at the sound of his sword. When Luke laughed, picked up an iced towel from a bowl filled with them, and threw it directly into Axel’s face, everyone relaxed.

         Pax—Axel’s fluttery, excitable little brother—braced to run to Axel, probably to tackle hug him. As soon as he exposed his back, Flynn rolled her eyes. She made a hand motion and Mercedes—Pax’s partner—immediately tackled the tinier boy to the deck.

         Luke picked up an ice towel for himself and wrapped it around his shoulders. “You’re improving fast,” he said.

         Axel tossed his sword onto a designated weapons mat. Sweat soaked the loose strands of his bun to the back of his neck. When he and Pax trained, they rejected dirtying shirts unnecessarily. This definitely distracted most of the girls, some of the boys, and quite a few monsters.

         “Thanks,” Axel said. He wiped his chest down with his towel. From what Luke had heard, Pax and Axel did a separate training regiment to maintain their skills as acrobats. It showed on their muscle tones, and Luke wondered, passively, if they’d let him join. Or if Kronos would let him. The Titan Lord might consider it a waste of time.

         “Axel, what are you doing for the rest of today?” Luke asked. He glanced around the deck. Everywhere you looked, demigods were attacking dummies, practicing with monsters, playing in the pool, or shoving at each other. Jack provided background music with an acoustic guitar.  

         Nearby, Lucille, a friendly daughter of Aphrodite, helped their youngest pledge pick up her first sword. Charlene, or Charlie as everyone called her, was five years old. Everyone loved her, including the monsters. While her mother, Ethel (though everyone called her Echidna), was cold and distant, Charlie was outgoing and feisty. She’d be a strong warrior one day, and—from the amount that she could already shock others—a powerful child of Zeus and granddaughter of Summanus.

         Too young for the prophecy, the voice of Kronos cooed inside of him.

         Luke shook his head.

         He wanted to be excited that Charlie was picking up her first sword and being taught by her step-momma. He didn’t want to be excited that Charlie could one day slay a sea cow to rule the cosmos. No wonder Zeus rebelled against Kronos if he wanted to give those kind of bedtime stories.

         This was one of their days off. After practice, everyone would have free time. Morpheus had lulled Kronos’ sarcophagus essence into a daze, claiming it was good for his regeneration and Luke’s sanity. These days were becoming rare. Normally, Luke would take Jack to the Monster Mash club to throw back a few beers, but they were on the wrong coast for that. Feeling the warmth of the breeze, he realized they were probably along the wrong continent.

         Axel looked uncertain. He picked up one of the water jugs that Ethel and Charlie had set out for the training troops. He nodded his thanks to Ethel. She leaned stiffly against the pool railing and scowled at the ground by Axel’s feet. Axel had, gently, been encouraging her to make eye contact with men without electrocuting them.

         “Um, we’d have to ask Jack,” Axel said. Luke shook his head. You asked Axel if he had free time.

         Jack scrambled over alongside them, playing a short, mysterious tune like a theme for his arrival. Whenever Flynn was busy, Jack hovered around Axel and Pax to scold them or give them encouragement, like “a proper father.” Luke had originally assumed Jack would forget this whole parenting thing within a few months, lost to another one of his crazy ideas. With the continuous doting, Luke now wondered if Jack and Lucille would start an Adopt-a-Demigod club. Most of the demigods aboard had such fucked up histories; a Big Brother and Sister program to mentor tiny demigods would actually be a good idea. He shuddered to think of Jack enacting it.  Jack would add Adopt-a-Demigod family hour before the morning Demigod-Monster meditation sessions.

         “Yes?” Jack sang. He almost his balance as he leaned backwards with his acoustic guitar as though it were electric.

         Luke balanced him, smirking.

         “Do we have music practice today?” Axel asked.

         “Band practice,” Jack corrected, his broad smile exuding excitement. He set his guitar to the side. “We’re another month, a keyboardist, and band name away from our first concert, Mr. Guitarist.”

         He went to ruffle Axel between his tufted ears, but Axel swatted his hand away. The boy tried to look annoyed. Those ears gave him away, perked up and alert. “You’re not my dad. And, if you were, you couldn’t be both my dad and the lead singer of our rock band.”

         “I can and I will,” Jack said, “I’ll be the coolest dad in history.”

         His incessant cheeriness and attention had been wearing Axel’s moopiness down over the last few months. Jack’s attitude also helped Luke when doom and gloom of everything got to him.  

         Maybe this was why Axel and Pax worked so well with Jack. It gave him two toys that had to follow through on all of his crazed ideas. Sometimes, they were even excited about the odd plans. It definitely made Luke and Flynn’s lives easier.

         “Yes to band practice. You won’t become the best guitarist in mythological history without practice!” Jack said.

         In his peripheral vision, Luke could see Lou Ellen steal Mercedes’ nose. Well, he guessed Lou Ellen was trying to steal Mercedes’ nose. The young witch came away with Mercedes’ chin instead. Alabaster was still working on her precision.

         In this chaos, Pax managed to crawl out and scurry over. He tackle-hugged Jack. Although Jack towered over him in height, the younger boy almost plowed him over. “Do I get to play the drums again?”

         “Yep,” Jack said. He struggled to lift Pax. Axel sighed, reached subtly for his little brother’s foot, and helped lift Pax into the air. The motion was so slight that Jack probably thought he’d managed on his own.

         “Do I get to practice rap-screaming?!” Pax asked.

         “Only if you take the proper precautions to protect your vocal cords. We need a screamer, and I don’t have the right set of vocal cords for—”

         A spear lodged into the deck between Jack’s feet. He shrieked, dropping Pax. Pax and Axel found their footing easily. Jack almost fell over.

         A tall boy with black armor and grey underclothing walked over, jerking the spear from the ground casually. “Sorry,” Alabaster said, “Someone had a bad throw.”

         For a split second, his glittering green eyes narrowed at Luke. Luke would bet that one of Hecate’s brats had been aiming directly at him, likely under Alabaster’s orders.

         “Work on your family’s aim, Torrington. I expect perfection with all of your boasting,” Luke growled.

         A new recruit nearby giggled, “Draco should learn some honing spells.”

         Alabaster was already walking back towards his siblings, like he hadn’t heard.

         “Witch Boy gives me the creeps sometimes,” Jack said, dusting himself off.  

         Luke would never admit to it, since he knew Alabaster would enjoy any show of weakness or fear from him, but Luke often worried Alabaster had little voodoo dolls of everyone aboard the ship. He understood Jack’s feelings.

         “He’s not bad once you spend some time with him,” Axel said.

         “Or maybe he’s just had time to bewitch you two,” Jack said. The grin returned to his face.

         At some point during the altercation, Pax dove behind Axel. He poked his head past one of Axel’s arms, intently watching Alabaster return the spear to an empousa. The lovely girl with the donkey foot winked at Luke. She giggled to Lou Ellen, who was now limping. Mercedes must have taken her chin back from the little witch and given her a warning of what would happen next time she took it.

Lout Ellen stuck her tongue out at them.

         Jack reached around to pinch Pax’s ear. “The Witch Boy has definitely bewitched one of you. Or was it Lou Ellen that did that?”

         Luke was so intent on keeping his troops trained, setting up everything for the rise of the Titans, and keeping up with the goings in New Rome and Camp Half-Blood, he often forgot how much drama and gossip happened on the ship. With the thought of Thalia turning back from a tree, he couldn’t get himself to talk to anyone about their crushes. Jack just… prattled about Flynn. But, it was nice to hear Jack talk. Maybe he should have paid more attention to the politics aboard the ship, if it meant the Witch Boy was gaining more loyalty.

         Pax went bright red. “No!” he cried too fast. “I just—I think he and Lou Ellen are cool.” When Pax noticed Luke’s gaze, he tucked completely behind his brother’s back, mumbling an apology in what sounded like Spanish.

         There was that fear again. Luke’s gut twisted to realize that Pax hid when Luke raised his voice against Alabaster.  

         That’s not what Luke wanted right now.

         Luke gave them a calming smile. “Hey, Jack and I were going to dock and hang out on the cliffs later tonight. Wanna come?”

         “I would need to find a babysitter for Ajax,” Axel said, reaching behind his shoulder to pinch Pax’s ear.

         “I can’t come?” Pax’s question sounded disembodied. He’d completely vanished behind Axel’s torso. Luke had to wonder if one of their acrobatic practices was pretending to move as one person since Pax could vanish whenever he wanted.

         “Nope. We’ll bring you when you’re older. We need to have big boy conversations,” Jack said.

         That brought Pax from around Axel’s back. “Could I play Mortal Kombat with Matthias?! Or watch TV?! Or—or—” His voice dropped to a hopeful whisper, his cheeks rouging again. “Do you think Alabaster would let me help in the lab?”

         Jack raised a mischievous eyebrow. “We can make Alabaster let you in the lab.”

         As they decided Pax’s fate for the night, Luke thought over Jack’s understatement: “big boy conversations.” What Luke needed was a set of people he could trust, ones that wouldn’t gossip and would do anything for him, even if that meant killing him for his own good.

        Yea. Big boy conversation.

****

Sorry for the delay! I hope you enjoyed regardless, and as always, thank you for reading! :D I should have part two/the final part of this short out next week!

  [1] Mel Betanote, “You reap what you sow, a little bit literally considering your god weapon.”

[crqstalite]

we are all made of star dust. prologue.

!crisis on umbara spoilers!

…..

“He trusted you, Theron.” Pretta nearly sheds tears at the thought. Had the lovesick Chiss male come along on this journey…stars. She could only imagine his explosive reaction, and emotional one. “He said this was destiny. The galaxy only held out this long on him because it was waiting for the stars to align so he could meet you!”

“Prett-”

“No!” She’s screaming over the sound of the train, cutting off whatever excuse he has for her. “You kriffing asshole! This was your plan from the beginning wasn’t it?! Did you ever love him?!”

Pretta remembers having this conversation with Kal’s sister years ago, yet she was on the other end of it, looking like a kicked puppy. The pain she felt once Kal had caught her with another man, was enough. The conversation Miras had with her later just instilled a fear into her, a fire that burned. One that would keep her from ever betraying her now ex-husband ever again. Now? She was the instigator, watching as Theron turned his eyes from her, not meeting her gaze. Only seven years prior had she done this to Kal, and now Theron. How much the Chiss agent had been through, he wouldn’t be able to take it.

The agent is not taking this for an answer. She points an accusing finger at him as he shifts his stance to pull something out of his pocket.

“Kal trusted you with every fiber of his being. I told him it was too soon, that what he had wouldn’t last, especially with a spy, a Republic one at that! I never trusted you and I now I never will.” Her voice grows darker. Were there not a force field, she would’ve thrown a well-placed vibroknife at the offending male. Not enough to kill, never enough to kill. Lana shifts, regaining conciousness next to her. “You fought for the Alliance, and you sure as kriffing hell killed for it. And now what, you’re jumping ship?”

“I’m sorry.” He says something else that she strains to hear, but it’s blown away by the sounds of multiple explosions as she tumbles to the ground, blue hair flying in her face as she hits her shoulder, hard. He stands there for a moment, and the only words she can make out are, “Tell Kal…”, and, “that I love him.” Before disappearing from view.

Lana’s standing, and her ears are ringing. She’s nearly shaking with anger for the SIS agent, and the female sith has to nearly yell for her to make out her words. As they jump in a last ditch effort for survival, she’s nearly half sure she can see his speeder, flying away in the night.

Something pops, and Pretta is sure it’s her shoulder. Hurt once when she fell on the train, and now popped out of place when she rolls into a boulder. Lana has to help her up, and while Lana tries to make conversation about the Alliance, all Pretta can think about is Kal. How he’d been so happy to have Theron by his side, the smiles they shared. It was the happiest she’d seen her ex-husband in years. How docile he’d become towards love again. As fractured as their somewhat hurried romance was, Pretta had finally stepped back, allowing him to truly flourish as he gave his heart to someone else. She’d thought all was well again, turning her attentions back to the issue at hand, the traitor.

And now, his perfect boyfriend was gone, off into the Umbaran night. No longer a respected member of the Alliance, she couldn’t figure how she was to explain this to Kal. To see him finally crack under the pressure of being the commander, to the loss of someone he thought he could trust. The years weren’t easy on him, and this would break him past his point. She has to get the help of Lana in order to push her shoulder back into place with a barely retracted scream.

As she stands, Lana attempting to give her a bit of a sedative to ebb the pain, she grips her sniper rifle. They’re catching this traitor, and she is not going back to Kal empty handed. If it’s the last thing she does, she’s going out with a bang.

Theron Shan has just made a fatal mistake, and Pretta Vroqh is about to make sure he’s going to pay dearly for his trangressions against the Alliance, and her friend.

“Lana, we’re going to find Theron, and we are going to make him pay.”

“Understood, Commander.”

….

ooo! is ally writing some kotfe stuff??? 👀👀

[elfenbensord]

Distance

Imagine 2: Distance

Summary: Yeah yeah angsty love but fluffy ending yeah

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Gender Neutral!Reader

Warnings: Nejnej

Word count: 886

[Written: 2-3 Oct, Edited: 3 Oct, Published: 3 Oct]

[2018]

Request: Hey there, I just found your blog and your writing is awesome (: . Coulud you please write angsty Draco Malfoy oneshot based on the song Distance Christina Perry? Reader is in love with him but not sure if he reciprocates and the angst! You don't have to write it if you dont want to. Thank you ! - @petals-sunwards

Author’s Note: Thanks again for requesting, really hope you enjoy reading!

Masterlist / Requests

The sun finds its way into the silent living room of Malfoy Manor. Dreams fill the air as the breaths of two young entwine. Memories of last night haunt them, the sound of screams and spells cast to wound and hurt still clings through their minds. Hogwarts in flames, smoke trailing up over the Forbidden Forest. Hearts failed and tears fell as lives were lost. The two friends swore never to let go of each other, they have not since. Now intertwined in the morning, they’ve dried each other’s tears. Their heart bear scars that will never fade, their eyes carry a mourning as well as a rushed maturity. Each breath carry a burden. Though your heart hurts, it cannot help but to feel a particular fondness toward the blond boy who holds your hand into the early morning hours. You’ll convince yourself it’s only a trick of the mind, a reaction to the horrible war you’ve survived.

“Never leave me”, his whisper is hoarse, filled with tears and tired from lack of sleep. “Please, stay.”

Your heart swells, grows too big for your chest when he says those words. “I won’t. I’m right here.”

He takes your hand, cold, slender fingers against yours. You share a smile and a promise to never leave one another.

---

Spruce needles fall into your hair as you walk the hidden paths through the tall dark woods surrounding Malfoy Manor. Drace reaches forward to pluck them out, but you feel a need to keep a distance. Who knows what your heart will do next if he comes so close, too close.

“No, no, I’ll do it.”

And there’s a small sense of disappointment in his eyes. It’s quickly gone, but his sight doesn’t leave her for a moment.

“Look!” His eyes travel up to see the sky. Grey and milky, clouds hang above your heads. “It’s snowing.”

Your eyes close, a small smile forms as soft, cold snow lands on your face. The frown your brow has come so attached to smooths out for just a second. One eye opens, smile kept a constant. “Hey, Draco.”

A glimmer of hope in his irises. His face softens, the ever so present frown lightens for a moment. “What?”

“Happy Christmas”, and a kiss is placed upon his red cheek.

“Yeah”, a growing smile, “Happy Christmas.”

---

The night quickly turns dark, and clouds unfortunately cover up the stars. Your friend changes, and you don’t know what to do. Time passes, months and weeks at a time. Sometimes just an hour. Though you live together, you barely see him. He’s always out at night, resigning himself to some pub you don’t know the name of. He drinks and drinks, not only by night but often in the early morning. Every time, he invites you to join him. Every time, he gives you a disappointing look when you decline his offer. His hair grows longer, bags under eyes a purple constant. Soon he’s indistinguishable, a shadow of his former self. You don’t recognise your friend, this is not the man you love.

“Draco, I’m leaving.”

He doesn’t notice the packet suitcase standing beside you on the floor.

“Are you going to the store?” He takes a sip of amber, never meeting your eyes. “Buy some more milk while you’re there.”

Your last smile, “Alright.”

“Goodbye.” And you turn your back on him, seeing the new bright world through the open door in front of you.

---

Years pass, you change into someone you like, even love. You find new friends, friends who see and love you for you. You find yourself working with wonderful people in a small bookstore, you love the smell of books and coffee in the morning. Draco Malfoy fades in your mind. You like to remember him as the cheeky, blond boy your heart ached for in your teenage years. It only sting a little when he crosses your mind, but you know you’re happy.

“Good morning, Anna”, you greet the regular customer. She gives you a smile, her eyes expressing a happiness one could envy. You don’t know how her voice sounds like, not even she herself does. But you’re sure that it’s the sweetest, warmest voice there could ever exist.

Anna browses around the small bookstore, sometimes waving at you for advice and recommendations. She exits with a smile on her lips and a tote bag full of books, she leaves behind a warm glow of happiness.

The day’s hours pass in calm perfection, suddenly there’s only half an hour left of your shift. You’re out by the stockroom, looking for the box of copies of the latest teen romance novel, when the familiar doorbell chimes, signalling how another customer has entered the store.

“Hello?”

“One minute, I’m just in the back-”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait.”

There’s something familiar about that voice.

“What can I help you with?”

Your words are suspended in the air as you who it is. Icy blond fringe, cold, grey eyes matched with a pale features. Draco Malfoy stands before you, a hopeful look in his face.

“(Y/N).”

Breath stops halfway through your lungs. You watch him, too awestruck to find anything to say.

A cheeky smile finds its way across his lips, “Did you get any milk?”

And he laughs, and you love.

---

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@rocking-like-a-ravenclaw

@kapolisradomthoughts

@siriusement

@electraheart-isdead

@classy-sith-lady

@hermione-who

@pompeiianbollocker

wanna be added? go ahead and tell me! :)))

[numinex919]

After Crait - Chapter I

As is no doubt obvious, I’m a wee bit obsessed with Reylo. To the point where it’s been interfering with my day job. So . . . I gave in to the Darkside and wrote my version of what might happen after the events of the Battle of Crait. With a huge amount of encouragement from the lovely, talented and extremely supportive @raven-maiden​, I humbly submit the first chapter in my fanfic ‘After Crait’. The image is tied into the chapter. I hope you like it and the writing and think I’ve captured Kylo/Ben. I’d also like to thank @ohtze​ who encouraged me to join Tumblr and the lovely community here.

Darkness.

Darkness rises and Light to meet it. The voices overlap, multiply, echoing inside his head. A tremor rolls through him, sweat beading on his forehead as he resists what he knows is coming.

The dream.

The same dream he’s been having since Crait.

The throne room, sparks and burning crimson. His Mast—Snoke dead by his hand. The dark weight is gone from his mind for the first time in years. Leaving him oddly, terrifyingly light.

He holds out his hand to Rey, desperate for the feel of her determination, unwavering purpose . . . her balance. She reaches out and a spear of hot relief shoots through him.

This girl from Jakku, this nobody will give him the strength he needs to hold his fractured soul together. To heal. To find the peace he craves so badly.

A burst of light blinds him, he lunges forward but all his clenching hand grasps is air and Rey is slipping away from him, swallowed by the darkness. Grief hits him in an overpowering wave. Tears stream down her face as she says one word before she vanishes.

Ben.

Jerking upright with a gasp, it takes him a moment to orient himself. The familiar hum of the ship penetrates his consciousness.  A glance at the digital display on his desk indicates he’s only been asleep for an hour.  

He’s aboard the Finalizer, one of the few ships not obliterated by the light speed run which had torn through the Supremacy.  Had the Raddus been dead centre on its final, fatal course . . .

Then Skywalker’s statement about not being the last of the Jedi would have been wrong.

Had Rey agreed to his plea . . .

He pushes the thought away, not wanting to relive his pathetic begging in his waking moments. He fists the sheets, a black tangle around him, testament to his restless, unfulfilling sleep. He’s so sick of the endless churn of memory, thought, emotion.

Anger surges in a hot tide but it feels empty of true power.  

Reignited by Rey’s betrayal, Skywalker’s words, he’d ridden that savage wave into the heart of the Resistance base.

Only to have it stolen away by a pair of dice and a girl—the memory and promise of belonging.

Pain rips through him, sweeping his anger away, leaving him drained. The pure rage he’d so carefully nurtured over the years, no longer sustains him. Like a Corellian Sand Panther, exhaustion sneaks in, slicing at him with venomous claws.

So desperate to sleep.

Lying back, he shoves the covers off, letting the cool air of the room waft over his naked torso. His tired mind conjures the idea of a sea breeze and before he’s truly aware of it he’s imagining an island.

Not just any island, but the one from Rey’s mind, which he’d pulled from her on Starkiller Base. The images she’d conjured when she too was desperate to sleep.

Anger fails to rise that this is where his subconscious has chosen to go. Instead, peace, comfort settles over him like a warm blanket and he allows himself to slide further in.

This is only a dream and he’s so tired of fighting his need.

In his mind he dips his hand into cool water, watching it sparkle as it drips from his fingers. Cool breezes waft over him as he sits on the springy turf, enjoying the sensations against his skin.

He considers shedding the loose, black sleep pants, but after years of concealing garb, this feels like too much. It’s enough he’s already partially naked.

Vulnerable.

Only one other person has seen him like this. And he had allowed it. Prolonged it.

A sudden splash makes him glance up. And there is Rey, emerging from the ocean, salty drops clinging to her eyelashes. Tendrils of wet hair curl against her neck like a dark caress.

She ventures further out of the water, and as she comes closer he checks for weapons.

She’s always quick to attack and he carries her marks. But she has nothing, not even his grandfather’s lightsaber.

And suddenly he notices something else. It causes him to go utterly still, breath caught in his throat, awareness burning through him like Sith lightning.

Her thin desert clothes are clinging to her in the same way they did after her experience with the Dark Side on Ahch-To. However, this time there is no semi-concealing blanket and fire-lit shadows to hide the almost transparent nature of the cloth.

No sense of finding a kindred spirit in solitude to dominate his awareness.

There is just her.

Her curves are clearly visible under the wet fabric. He wants to look away, but he can’t. Small, high breasts, lean thighs, gently flaring hips. His gaze tracks it all, greedy, compulsive.

Part of him wants to deny he has noticed these things, shocked he is noticing them.

Another part of him, stronger and more compelling, drives him to keep staring. To notice her femininity.

Her body is a stark counterpoint to his. Delicate and small where he is thick and broad. Soft where he is hard. But she is powerful in the Force, every bit a match for him, despite her diminutive stature.

Strange tension fills his body, a tingling ripple running over his skin, into his muscles and bone, evoking a stronger flare of sensation, feeding back on itself like a closed circuit.

There is a roaring in his ears, along with the heavy, rapid thump of his heart. His breath catches as another riptide of feeling rolls across his body in an unstoppable wave.

He lies back, overcome by the intensity of what he’s experiencing, but his gaze doesn’t waver as he watches Rey come closer.

The roaring stops, becomes utter stillness. Then suddenly she is beside him on the soft turf and in order to continue to see her he must roll onto his side, so they are facing each other.

Inexplicably she is no longer wet, the tendrils of hair against her neck now like dark silk, her lashes curving fans as she stares at him. He reaches out an inquisitive finger to her cheek. It’s velvety and smooth. Her breath puffs warm and moist against his skin as he slides his hand towards her mouth.

Suddenly he wants to put his own mouth there . . . to find out . . . what?

He has never kissed another, other than half-remembered displays of affection towards his mother. His mind shies away from the pain he senses those memories will bring and returns to now.

Rey’s bottom lip is soft under his questing finger, fuller than the top one. His own mouth tingles and he inches closer. She watches him, her gaze curious, a little wary.

There is something else lurking there in the depths of her hazel eyes, but it isn’t the rage he’s felt from her previously, nor the compassion.

No, not those things, though this is just as powerful.  He feels it inside himself too. Like the pull to the Light, it wraps around him, dragging him closer.

Closer. Until only a micro-fraction of space separates them. Then they’re touching and the jolt is like a blast of Force power. The feel of her mouth is heart-stopping. She moves tentatively under him. Both of them are uncertain, despite their ages. He senses this is a first for her too.  

All of the churning sensation racing through his body now has a focal point — the touch of their lips. It is too much and not enough. Suddenly he identifies the strange feelings.

Lust. Passion.

The power of it is staggering, a revelation. He wants more of it. And he can sense, after a brief, stunned moment, that Rey does too.

She nips at his mouth. Indulging herself, she sinks her small teeth into the lush fullness of his bottom lip and sucks, then brushes her tongue along the tender inner flesh, taking the taste of him into her—spice, smoke, winter woods.

It’s a shock to find himself in her mind and he quickly realises it must be the Force Bond. Intrigued, he searches further amongst the heated tangle of her thoughts.

So powerful. Intense. The feel of him, the velvety glide of his skin, and rippling power of his muscle. She runs her fingers through the lush blackness of his hair. So silky. His male body is made of contrasts, a balance of hardness and softness.

She slides her hands down his neck to the broad width of his shoulders, one marked with the scar she gave him. The hard, unyielding feel of his big body is a shock, yet the sensation of his skin on hers makes her ache. There, between her thighs. She’s damp, needing, something.

Confusion fills her—there is a reason she shouldn’t be wanting this . . . enjoying it. It hovers just beyond her reach. Ben’s scent wraps around her, along with his thick arms, heavy with muscle, causing the neediness to intensify. She rocks her hips, seeking to ease the sensation.

Breath rasping in his throat he pulls out of her mind as his body responds to her thoughts and feelings. He is hard and aching in a place he’s never given much thought.

Of course he had occasionally suffered the involuntary reactions of his body, but it had quickly subsided as he turned his mind away from the inconvenience, to other, more important matters.

Now it throbs with raw urgency, demanding attention. 

He wants Rey’s hands on him. Calloused from hard work, sliding over his length in the same capable way she handled his lightsaber in the throne room, grip firm and uncompromising . . . 

A moan is choked from his throat. He becomes painfully aware of her fingers on his bare chest, her tanned skin an erotic counterpoint to the pale muscle. Her touch burns in the sweetest way, her scent, desert flowers and—

The comms alert pierces his awareness. His eyes shoot open. When had he closed them? He doesn’t recall falling asleep . . .

Multiple forms of sensory input hit him like a blaster bolt. The hum of the Force Bond grabs his attention above the electronic beeps, dulling them to a background annoyance.

Shock ricochets through him, shoving him upright in the bed. Rey’s hands slip from his chest, but he only peripherally notices. He’s too jolted by the realization that somehow, what he thought was simply a dream has turned into a Force Bond session.

Rey is in his bed.

Her expression reveals the same shock his is no doubt displaying. He quickly hides his reaction. Years of concealing his emotions from Snoke make it relatively simple, even as he’s aware of the pounding bass of his pulse, the electric tingling of his skin.

The brutal awareness of Rey lying in a flushed tangle amidst his black sheets.

An unacknowledged fantasy come to breathtaking life.

She’s wearing a simple tunic, her loose hair is knotted silk against his pillows. One slim, tanned thigh is still thrown over with his, pressing against the most intimate part of him.

Her shock morphs to confusion and then . . . 

There it is, that look again. But it’s not quite the same.

Ah, no. She doesn’t want to kill him, but she doesn’t want to save him either.

She slides her leg away, pushes herself up on her elbows and stops with an expression of chagrin. Grim amusement briefly fills him—she can’t sit up without coming into contact with him—and clearly she doesn’t want to do so.

Icy composure belatedly fills her face. Now she looks like a Jedi as she tilts her head.

“Supreme Leader.” Her tone mocks the title.

His mouth works, he struggles and fails to hold in the words. “You called me Ben, before.”

She tightens her lips and glances away before her gaze sweeps back to pin him. The Force Bond crackles in response to the emotion roiling between them.

“That name belongs to a person I thought I knew.” Her voice is cutting. The combination of it and her dismissive expression are a blade to the chest.

She gave up on them—him so quickly. On their potential to help each other through the loneliness and pain.

The desire to lash out surges through him and he shifts closer to her as she continues to recline on her elbows. His words, when they come, create a far greater reaction than he supposed they might.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem wanting to know me moments ago.” He leans in so they are a breath apart.  “I see what you want.”

“You see nothing.” She spits the words like venom. “How would you know what I want?”

The explosive surge of lust-hate-anger-passion that fills the Force and resonates between them is like a gut-punch.

“Because, I want it too.” What was meant to be an exchange of verbal barbs becomes a truth that rips the breath from his lungs.

Judging from her expression it does exactly the same to Rey.  

He leans in . . .

With another humming roar the Bond session ends.

She’s gone and he’s left panting, aroused and alone in his bed.

And more unbalanced than ever.

[thinkingheron]

Yet another SW AU idea that no one asked for

So.. this thing that started from a prompt that no one asked for has spawned a part 2 and ended up as part of prompt fics and is now becoming a Thing (thanks to kind commentors on AO3 and ffnet).

Base premise is Anakin gets spooked and runs off on his own after the Trade Federation Blockade battle on TPM, before Qui Gon’s funeral but right after Obi Wan got Yoda’s ‘permission’ to train Anakin. (There was a lot of communication crashes that day that ended up saving gffa)

I’ve been exploring the idea and trying to see if it’ll work or not... The One Where Anakin Grows Outside The Order is something done often and yet I’ve never really found a fic or even an outline that I really liked, enough to think that maybe I just don’t like non-Jedi Ani AUs. (And the few that I did find have all been dead for 3+ years) I also like lightsaber wielding master swordsman Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker a little too much to entertain the notion where he doesn’t get that.

...And now I’m thinking about it. (<- hypocrite)

So here are some of the ideas that came up.

Plot point #1: Obi-Wan’s reaction.

This would be two-fold: Obi-Wan’s reaction to finding Anakin had run off, and then his reaction to discovering why that happened. He’d be a bit of a mess, because now he can’t even fulfill Qui-Gon’s dying wish. I don’t think he would leave the Order, but he would still try to find Anakin whenever he has the time. Obi-Wan would be resentful at Qui-Gon for making him do this and Anakin for making this even more difficult, but also a little worried because the Sith problem is still a thing. The Council wouldn’t be very supportive of this little sidequest young Obi-Wan took for himself and I imagine Obi-Wan himself would eventually... let go and move on with his life.

Positive change: Obi-Wan can address his grief without accidentally hurting any Chosen One child prodigy who needs help dealing with a host of trauma of his own. And the Council isn’t breathing down on Obi-Wan’s neck so that’s a bonus too.

Negative change: Without Anakin to constantly shake things up, Obi-Wan would be more of a stuck-up than he canonically is. On the other hand, he isn’t that much better at not being a prick in AotC and seems to only get better by the time of TCW and RotS, so maybe there isn’t that much of a difference. (This is my opinion though...)

Plot point #2: Padme’s reaction

This was more interesting to speculate, because Padme would have quickly realized Anakin disappeared and she’d want to know why. And the Jedi would tell her some certain point of view truths but she wouldn’t be satisfied with it. I imagine this would affect her relationship with the Jedi, possibly even with Obi-Wan. Thinking about that meta post about how Padme’s faith in the Jedi as the ultimate force of good is getting shaky in TPM, the Jedi losing the little boy they were supposed to be in charge of is only going to erode her trust even more.

What I can’t figure out though, is how Padme would react when she and Anakin meet again. Would she be mad? Relieved?

Positive change: This might actually motivate Padme to send people back to Tatooine to check on Shmi, possibly even freeing her. On the other hand, Shmi’s reaction to the news that her son had disappeared is a whole new can of worms actually...

Negative change: Padme falling out with the Jedi is going to be exploited by Palpatine. *sigh*

Plot point #3: Anakin

The one you’ve been waiting for. The idea that I have is Anakin gets picked up by a Nabooian spacer. Someone who works more or less independently and spends most of the time traveling through space. (Not a smuggler though) Anyway, this spacer just assumes Ani is a boy who got orphaned during the battle and takes pity on him, without knowing who he really is.

Anakin just sort of rolls with it, and all he really wants is to get back to Tatooine, but of course things don’t work out very well and they get delayed because reasons. I haven’t figured out the details but I’m guessing it has something to do with Palpatine.

The spacer is a good person, but Anakin doesn’t get it much easier, because Palpatine, Padme and possibly even Obi-Wan might have sent people to look for him. Palpatine would definitely have gone as far as to send bounty hunters. After getting chased across the Galaxy, Anakin would become more wary and extremely distrusting towards Jedi. (Which means it’d be a challenge figuring out how to make Anakin more cautious and still... himself)

Positive change: His trauma isn’t going anywhere, and having strangers come after him is going to introduce a new set of emotional baggage. But at least he isn’t getting gas-lighted left and right.

Negative change: His Force training and bonding with Obi-Wan is going to get pushed back however long it took for them to reconnect. This is more of an issue because I really think those two work together as Force sensitive team really well. (And I want to drag in Ahsoka as well at some point :3)

(More to come, because we haven’t even touched on what Anakin’s really been up to and how everyone reconnects)

[crystal-siren]

A Bright Beginning (Obi-Wan x Reader) Pt.1/3

Requested by @dovies666, I apologise for the delay, but here we go :) <3

Author’s Note: The story will roughly follow the story outline of the prequels.

“My heart is not captured easily. I am disinterested in small talk, disillusioned with love, and too focused on my dreams and aspirations to lend anybody my attention for long. But if we make that connection, if you find your way into my heart, God, I will fall for you like gravity has let go of the earth.” ~ Beau Taplin || The Connection

“Honestly,” Y/N combed her fingers through her H/L H/C hair. “I don’t see why you specifically have to go.”

“I think someone’s a little jealous.” Obi-Wan smirked and winked at his friend, “besides, where the Master goes-”

“The student must follow,” Y/N interjected and sighed, “I know.”

“Don’t worry,” Obi-Wan turned to face her, “I’ll be back soon, I can’t imagine these negotiations taking very long.”

“You say that about every mission.”

“True,” Obi-Wan acknowledged and grinned, “but this time its the truth.”

“Mmhm,” Y/N didn’t sound the least bit convinced.

“Come on,” Obi-Wan pulled his robe on, “you can accompany me to the hanger bay.”

“How very generous of you,” Y/N rolled her eyes and smirked before following her friend out into the passageway.

~ ~ ~

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Obi-Wan lowered his hood as he and his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn approached the view-port aboard one of the Trade Federation’s ships.

“I don’t sense anything,” Qui-Gon replied, almost a little dismissively.

Grinding his teeth and taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan tried again, “it’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something, elsewhere. Elusive.” Maybe he should contact Y/N, maybe she felt something too. She was a little more Force Sensitive than him.

“Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs,” Qui-Gon’s voice interrupted his musing and brought his attention back to the present.

“Do you think they’ll agree to the Chancellor’s demands?” Obi-Wan moved a little closer to the narrow view port and looked down at Naboo.

“These Federation types are cowards,” Qui-Gon moved to stand beside him, “the negotiations will be short.”

Obi-Wan grinned to himself. He knew it! He could easily imagine Y/N’s surprised expression that she would no doubt wear when they returned.

Unknown to some and sensed by others, something nefarious was indeed taking place.

Not far from where the two Jedi waited, the Viceroy of the Trade Federation and his assistant had been made aware of just who the supposed ‘ambassadors’ were. 

Having sent a droid to speak with them out of fear, Nute Gunray and his assistant Daultay Dofine were now debating on what to tell the one they both answered to.

Their conversation was interrupted when a flickering holo-image came up before them.

Before the Viceroy could utter a word, Dofine stepped forward and spoke in a simpering voice, “this scheme of yours has failed Lord Sidious. The blockades is finished. We dare not go against the Jedi.”

The hooded figure looked down at the creature before him in a way that could only be described as disgust. Turning to the Viceroy, he spoke in sharp tones. “Viceroy, I don’t want to see this stunted slime in my sight again!” The assistant bowed and crept away before the sentence had finished.

Swallowing hard, the Viceroy turned to face the hooded figure.

It was a while before anything was said. It was Sidious who spoke, he sounded almost a little thoughtful. “This turn of events is unfortunate,” he paused a little before continuing. “We must accelerate our plans,” he fully turned his attention to Nute Gunray, who stood silent. “Begin landing your troops.”

This seemed to bring back some mobility into the Viceroy. “But My Lord, is that legal?”

“I will make it legal,” the ominous delivery sent chills down the spine of anyone who listened. With those words, the holo-image flickered one last time before disappearing.

~ ~ ~

No matter how hard she tried, Y/N could not get to sleep. Something lurked at the edges of her periphery and would retreat every time she attempted to get a better look at it.

Giving up, she tossed the covers aside and moved as quietly as she could so as not to wake her Master. Slipping out of the quarters she shared, Y/N moved into the hallway beyond. A brief walk often helped her restless mind. 

She didn’t even make it halfway down the hallway when she heard them. Voices that sounded faraway but also close by.

“I need to speak to the Jedi Council. The situation has become much more complicated.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, that was Master Qui-Gon’s voice! What had happened that made her hear him? Her heart sunk at the prospect that something terrible may have happened.

Fragments of sentences continued to reach her ears but only one really caught her attention.

“My only conclusion... is that it was a Sith Lord.”

Once again, that was Master Qui-Gon! And a Sith? Y/N’s stomach clenched, were they alright? Was Obi-Wan? Questions ran circles through her mind. She knew full well what these voices meant, that she now knew of something that had not yet come to pass.

~ ~ ~

Tatooine. Sand everywhere. And the heat, Obi-Wan didn’t even wanted to get started on that. Obeying his Master, he had stayed aboard the damaged Nubian cruiser.

That feeling of unease that he had first encountered aboard the Trade Federation ship had not gone away. The temptation to contact Y/N was steadily growing stronger. Clenching his jaw, the young Padawan pushed the feeling down and tried to focus on the present, as he had been instructed.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes to better focus when his Comlink sounded. Sighing, he answered the call, “Master? Is everything alright ?”

“Master?” An amused female voice answered, “I’m not quite there yet.”

“Y/N ?”

“Short mission huh?”

Rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan could just picture her expression. “Things didn’t go as planned, alright?”

“Mmhm,” Y/N most likely had her arms folded with one eyebrow raised. “When do they ever. So,” she paused a little before continuing, “what exactly did happen ?”

“Well, it turns out that the Trade Federation has invaded Naboo, in addition to the blockade that is. The Queen barely escaped.”

Y/N was silent for a good long while and it didn’t take long for Obi-Wan to remember that Naboo was her native planet.

“Y/N? You ok?”

“Umm, yeah, I think so,” she was quieter than before. Her emotional attachment to her home planet was a strong one, despite the fact that she hadn’t been raised there.

“You don’t sound ok.”

“I am, really,” she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than him. “It’s just a bit of a shock, that’s all. Anyway,” her change of tone suggested a change in subject. “When will you and Master Qui-Gon be back?”

Obi-Wan bit his lip and paused a little before answering. “I’m not quite sure yet, but I think it’ll be soon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Where exactly are you?”

“Here’s the thing Y/N,” Obi-Wan braced himself for her reaction to his next words, “we’re on Tatooine. In the Outer Rim.”

“Tatooine?” Y/N all but shouted in surprise, “what in the name of the Force are you doing all the way out there?”

“Our ship was damaged as we left Naboo and Tatooine was the safest place to go, considering we have the Queen on board.”

A long sigh was heard from her end, she was no doubt pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed. “You alright though?” The words were whispered, as though she was afraid someone might hear her.

Taken by surprise, Obi-Wan didn’t answer right away.

“Obi-Wan?”

“I’m alright, considering.”

Silence hung between them for a short while before Y/N spoke again. “This may seem strange Obi-Wan, and a tad out of the blue but, I think something bad is going to happen.”

This caught his attention and he perked up, “what makes you say that?”

“Its just that,” she sounded a little hesitant and unsure. “I heard them again.”

Obi-Wan wished he didn’t know what she meant. Voices that only she could hear. Voices that foretold only bad things. “Who was it this time?”

“Master Qui-Gon.”

This was blow for Obi-Wan and he wasn’t quite sure how to take it. “What-what did he say?”

She seemed to hesitate before answering.

“Y/N, what did he say?”

She let out a long, drawn out breath. “He said something about..”

“Something about what?” Her fragmented sentences didn’t bode well and Obi-Wan began to wonder just how bad it would get this time.

Y/N let out a shuddering breath before answering with only two words. “The Sith.”

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he had heard correctly. The Sith? His surprise faded a little when he realised that this could very well explain that feeling unease and that something was horribly wrong.

“But Y/N, the Sith are extinct. Could it be possible that you misheard?”

“I know what I heard Obi-Wan,” she spoke with a slight edge to her voice, “I am as surprised as you are, if not more so.”

“If that is indeed the case,” he became thoughtful, “then you must inform the Council and Master Tahl.”

“I tried, but the Council dismissed it.” Y/N sounded tired.

This angered Obi-Wan, but he forced himself to calm down. Sometimes it felt as though he was the only one to take her seriously. She had a gift and it drove him to near madness that the Council refused to accept that.

“What of Master Tahl? What did she say?” He hoped, for her sake, that her Master had been a little more understanding.

“I think she believes me,” Y/N sighed heavily, “but I can’t be sure.”

“For what it’s worth, I believe you.”

He hoped that this would bring a smile to her features. She deserved to have someone that believed her, and not someone who merely dismissed what she heard as pleas for attention.

“Thank you Obi-Wan, that means a lot.” He could clearly hear the smile in her voice and relief flooded through him. “It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this.”

Obi-Wan made to answer when one of the pilots approached him. “Y/N? I have to go, I’m sorry. We’ll talk when I get back the Capital alright?”

“You stay out of trouble you hear me?” The joking nature of her voice was back.

“Sure thing Y/N, whatever you say” Obi-Wan grinned and shook his head before switching off his Comlink and giving the pilot his full attention.

“What is it?”

“Your Master is back with the required parts.”

“Thank you, I’ll be there presently.” Obi-Wan let out a sigh of relief, finally they would be leaving.

Straightening his robes, Obi-Wan made his way through the ship and to the lowered loading ramp. His Master seemed to be riding on the planet’s native animals. The creature had long legs so Master Qui-Gon was a little way above the planet’s sandy surface.

“I’m going back,” he said by way of greeting as his Padawan approached.

“Where are you going Master?”

“There’s some unfinished business that requires my attention.”

Obi-Wan knew what this meant and he suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling we’ve picked up yet another pathetic life-form?” Disapproval was clear in the way he spoke.

“Get this hyperdrive installed,” Qui-Gon instructed his apprentice and turned his mount in the direction he had come.

Obi-Wan sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. No doubt this was the boy his Master had mentioned earlier. The one with an astounding number of midi-chlorians in his blood. Obi-Wan couldn’t help but feel he was being shuffled to the side in favour of this boy.

Not even two standard hours had passed and the hyperdrive generator had been installed and still Obi-Wan saw no sign of his Master returning.

The memory of what Y/N had told him came back and worry began to gnaw at him. If what she had said was true, then they were all in more danger than he had originally believed.

His thoughts were interrupted when a small sandy-haired boy came racing up the loading ramp.

“We need to go!” The boy spoke to anyone who might listen. There was a sense of urgency in his tone that caught Obi-Wan’s attention.

“Not without my Master we’re not,” as he spoke the boy looked at him.

“Master Qui-Gon says to go!”

This set off a series of alarm bells in Obi-Wan’s mind. Glancing quickly at the boy, he turned and bolted in the direction of the cockpit, the boy was hot on his heels.

“Take off, but stay low,” he instructed the pilots. Squinting out of the view-port, he saw two figures and the tell-tale glow of lightsabers. One blue and one red. “Over there,” he pointed to where the two figures were and fervently prayed that his Master would see them and make the jump.

Qui-Gon heard the familiar hum of a ship’s engine and sensed the proximity of the vessel before striking at his opponent in such a way that gave him time to leap up onto the partially lowered loading ramp of the approaching ship.

Obi-Wan and the boy burst through the door soon after he back on board.

“Master, what was that?” Obi-Wan spoke with thinly veiled curiosity.

“I’m not sure,” Qui-Gon took a series of deep breaths. “But it was well trained in the Jedi arts.”

“What are we gonna do now?” The boy spoke up from beside Obi-Wan.

“I’m not sure,” Qui-Gon admitted and smiled ruefully at his apprentice. “For now, we must wait and be patient.”

Adjusting his position on the ground so that he was sitting, Qui-Gon spoke, addressing the boy. “Anakin Skywalker,” he then gestured to Obi-Wan, “meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

The boy, Anakin enthusiastically shook hands with the Padawan, “you’re a Jedi too? Pleased to meet you.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile.

To be continued...

Part 2