#i can of course never know their experiences and i know I have my own racial biases i am consciously addressing

[rosegolden13]

Princess Treatment w/ John Price

His workaholic habits do not stop after he leaves base to come home to you...

We already know he's opening up every damn door for you. He has the magical skill of knowing when doors need a push or a pull so he never fails to laugh when you pull a push door. "Tha's why you shoulda left it to me, love. Stubborn thing, you are." He'll reach over your head to push the door open for you, plopping a kiss to your hair while he does.

His masculinity does not get in the way of holding your purse for you whenever you're out together, his big bear hands wrapped around the handle of your little black purse.

He refuses to let you carry your own luggage, doesn't care if it takes him multiple trips to get both of your bags into the hotel or rental house. He'll get all exasperated if you insist on helping. "You had a long drive. Lemme handle it, pet." (even though he's the one that drove...)

There's nothing he loves more than ordering for you at a restaurant. His voice is filled with an unreasonable amount of pride when he says "And for the missus..." before telling the waiter your order.

Speaking of food, if you ever eat anything that needs cutting or even doctoring up, expect him to jump in. "Now, now, doll, you know tha's my job." He'll tsk and gently take the knife from you to cut your steak into bitesize pieces or to butter your roll. Yes, he will go as far as to bring the fork up to your lips and feed you if you don't put up a fuss.

He will absolutely pay for your manicure and then coo when you offer him your hand to show off your new nails. "Real pretty, love... Don't go chippin' 'em now. Come sit."

Price always sets up a nice place for you on the couch or bed, blanket at the ready and pillows right where you like them. "Come on now, Mrs. Price." He'll pat the spot next to him like one would for a dog. Of course, he likes it best when he can be your pillow and personal heater (that man is always warm, always) but sometimes he's got to find a way to coax his little love into his arms and away from chores.

Naturally, he will swat your hands away when you bend down to tug on your heels or tie your sneakers. He'll crouch down to place your foot on his bent knee, patting your calf firmly and leaning in to press a kiss to your ankle once he's done.

If you nick yourself while shaving, he'll level you with a disapproving stare and then insist that he do it for you next time. After all, he has plenty of experience with keeping his facial hair so tidy. "Can't have my woman hurtin' herself, now can I?" You bet your bottom dollar he's using his fancy razors and shaving creams on you, extra delicate to make sure he doesn't mar your skin.

He's terrified to smoke around you after you coughed one (1) time and now he only will take his cigars out on the back porch or in his office with the window open. If you come in, he'll snuff it out asap and usher you out of the room, shushing your protests.

I'll probably eventually add a part two cuz soft Price is everything to me hehe... Can you tell my standards are ridiculously high?? Also, does anyone have an accent writing guide for TF-141?? I am painfully American.

[bapeach]

Accidental love

Another long fic and I'm honestly very proud of it! I don't know anything about torn ACL's or anything so if stuff is wrong, just ignore it. I hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is always welcome :D Find my masterlist here :) Pairing(s): Paige Bueckers x female!reader  Word count: 9.1k+  Warnings: depression, life-changing accident, cursing, happy ending Summary: After a life-changing accident, Y/N finds peace in her new life, but when Paige Bueckers faces her own injury, their worlds collide. ------------

Paige Bueckers

Of course, it was a name you knew. You’re a student at UConn, so if you didn’t know of her, well, you’d be living under a rock. Paige Bueckers is UConn’s star player. The golden student. The future of women’s basketball. A legend in the making… 

You could go on and on about the things you’ve heard about her. She always seemed to be present in your life in one way or another. A mumble in the hallway as you go to class, an edit on your TikTok fyp, a celebration post on UConn’s Instagram page…

You don’t know the girl personally, having only been in the same room as her a few times when you went and watched some of her games. You’ve heard a lot of good things about her. You respected her grind, the way she gave her all to basketball and was a great team leader. You’ve also heard she’s a sweetheart off the court and always tries to make people comfortable. She’s also really pretty, which you’re sure is a contributing factor to why she’s so loved. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. 

You’d had your own fair share of admirers because of your looks. You’d caught plenty of girls fawning over you as they ogled your muscles, giggling when you sent them a flirty wink. If you were honest, you were quite the player when you first came to university. You’d messed around with a few girls, never really getting into anything too serious. 

You just didn’t have time for relationships. You were too busy studying biomedical engineering while also having a job and hobbies. And boy, did you have hobbies. Ever since you were young, you were a very active kid. Your parents always had to beg you to come inside, only being able to persuade you with promises of weekends at the indoor playground/kid gym.

Growing up, you stayed active. You went for a run every morning and swimming at least once a week. You didn’t join your school’s sports teams because how could you only choose one? You spend every weekend doing a different sport until you run out, only to start over. Basketball, boxing, soccer, baseball, hockey... you did it all. Your all-time favorite, though? Rock climbing.

You think there’s nothing better in this world than rock climbing after a long week. Wind ruffling your hair as the bright sun shines on your back. Climbing as high as you can, your muscles burning as you strain them to their limit, your chest tight as you gasp for breath. But it’s all worth it, because in the end, when you reach the top and have a full view of the horizon? It feels like you’re on top of the world. Like you’re untouchable and all your hopes and dreams are within reach.

The thought of climbing always filled you with warmth and excitement. Even after climbing the same rocks over and over, you still felt in awe every time you made it to the top. Knowing that no matter what, at the end of the day, you could always count on the dusty stones beneath your fingertips always made a smile grow on your face. 

Well. That was before the accident, at least. Now the thought of it makes you feel a dull throb in your chest. 

The last time you went climbing, you’d gone with some fellow enthusiasts. It was a group of strangers you’d met at the indoor climbing hall. Their little club ranged from new climbers to experts, and you’d clicked with them immediately. The guide you went with was a middle-aged man who had over 20 years of experience, so you were excited to maybe learn some new things. He was a really nice guy, happy to see someone your age be so excited about his favorite activity. When you partnered up with him, you didn’t expect anything to go wrong. Daredevils like yourself never really think too much about the consequences of your actions or things that could go wrong, otherwise you’d be too afraid to do half of the things you do. So that day was like no other. At first at least.

When you had reached 3/4ths of the climb, it happened. Even now, 2 years later, you’re not sure what exactly happened. You only know that one moment you were gripping onto the rocky wall and the next you were falling. When you think about it, it all feels like a dream. It didn’t take you long before you hit the ground, but it somehow felt like ages.

You remember how distraught your guide was when you finally woke up in the hospital. You didn’t understand anything he was saying at first. He was crying too hard, stumbling over his words as he kept apologizing. Something about malfunctioning equipment? 

When the doctor walked in, you immediately knew something was very wrong. Your chest filled with an unbearable ache when you saw the sad frown on his face. After that, everything is pretty much a blur. You didn't hear anything after the words “paralyzed” and “never walk again” were spoken. Everything became muffled as your ears started buzzing. You felt your chest tighten, and this time not in a good way. You were drowning on dry land.

The next months were some of the darkest moments of your life. You felt like your world was ending. And it kind of was. Everything you thought you were, gone in a matter of seconds. Bound to a wheelchair for the rest of your life. You shut everyone out at first, but soon realized you couldn’t bear all of this alone. Your family was your greatest support. They were your greatest fans, always celebrating your wins, and now they were here to mourn your greatest losses with you as well. 

You lost quite a lot of friends after the accident. It was hard being friends with your sporty friends when you could only think about how you wished you could join them. Your friendships didn’t all end on a bad note, though. You knew that if anything was wrong, you could still call them, and they’d show up in a heartbeat. 

You also gained a few friendships. Some people you met at therapy, support groups, online forums,... You also found a friend in the guide you were with that day. While you hated him at first, too filled with pain to think clearly, you’d talked to him at a later point. He apologized profusely once more, but you forgave him quickly. It’s not like it was his fault. Besides, it was hard to hate him, the way he looked at you with so much guilt. He had kind but wise eyes, prominent smile lines, and his hair was graying a little, but he was still full of life and filled with passion. You knew this accident would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he didn’t deserve that, so you made sure to stay in touch with him. If only to let him know you were doing well and make sure he was too.

You still often think about the days when you could be wild and free. In the two years since the incident, you’ve changed a lot. You’ve calmed down greatly, becoming a lot more mature and wise. While you used to be the go-to friend for a crazy time, you were now the friend people came to for advice. You missed your younger self, but still felt like she was a part of you. You’d gone through so much, the change was only natural. And honestly? You were proud of the person you’d become. Sure, you weren’t perfect and still had your days when you felt like you couldn’t breathe and like the world was against you. But overall, you were at peace with your life. It’s also not like you’d fully lost your playful self. You still loved teasing your friends, pulling pranks, and causing mischief.

So yeah, while you didn’t know Paige personally, you definitely felt like you knew a lot about her from the media, the people around you, and even some of her friends. You’d met Azzi a year ago when she got injured during a game. She’d been destroyed when she realized she wouldn’t be playing again any time soon. Having to find something new to do, she’d made her way to the library, where she bumped into you. You started talking, and before long you two became pretty good friends. You listened to her situation and told her what you’d been through. 

At first, she’d apologized profusely, feeling bad about how she complained about not being able to play for a few months while you’d never get to do your favorite things ever again. You’d made sure the younger girl knew it was okay, and that you didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t be upset just because you’d also gone through something. You’d spent hours with the girl talking about the adventures you used to go on and how much your life had changed. You made sure to tell her how happy you were despite everything, letting her know that no matter what, she’d be okay. 

While you don’t talk as much as you used to anymore, now that she’s back on the court, you still text each other every so often, smiling as you pass each other on campus. You didn’t blame her for becoming busy, you were excited to see her play with that bright smile on her face. You made sure to cheer her on and text her congratulations on her wins and “You did well” messages when the team lost. The girl appreciates you more than you know. Without you, she wouldn’t be where she is now. She’d learned so much from you.

Somehow, during your whole friendship, you’d never really met the team. Not that you really felt the need to. She had her friends, and you had yours. There was no need to mix up the groups. That being said, you didn’t really think you’d ever meet Paige or become close with her.

You were curious, though. As you wheel out of the library, you hear Paige’s name all around you. Two girls leaning in close as one gasps her name. A group of guys with their mouths dropped open as a video on their phone says the star athlete’s name. A professor walking past with a frown, mumbling, “... yeah, Paige Bueckers…”. 

When you reach your dorm, you open your laptop and search “Paige Bueckers” on Twitter. You immediately feel a pit in your stomach. The first tweet you see is a video with the caption “I’m gonna cry, I feel so bad for her”. You click the video and see why the basketball player was being talked about everywhere. At first, it looks like a normal clip from their most recent game. You see Nika passing the ball to Aaliyah, who passes it to a sprinting Azzi, who finally passes it off to Paige. You blink, and suddenly the blonde is on the floor, clutching her knee as tears stream down her face. You can see the worry and fear on her teammates’ faces, and the distraught but knowing look on Paige’s. A torn ACL. No doubt about it.

For a moment, your own accident flashes in your mind. The weightlessness as you were falling. Waking up and realizing you can’t move. You shake away the thoughts, blinking the haze from your eyes. You grab your phone to text the girl something, anything to make her feel better, but you pause. Right now, the last thing she’ll care about is a stranger texting her she’ll be okay when they probably don’t have any idea what she’s going through. Your thumb hovers over Azzi’s contact, but you end up closing the app. The brunette is probably too busy to talk, being too worried about her best friend. “I’ll talk to her soon,” you think to yourself before going on about your day.

You were right about talking to her soon. Only a week after the latest UConn tragedy, you see her. You were tucked away in your favorite corner of the library, a worn copy of your favorite book lying in your lap. You were surrounded by colorful pens, post-its, stickers, and tabs as you added new scribbles in the margins of the book (don’t worry, you’d gotten your own copy after the first time you read it).

Finishing a tiny doodle on the inside of the cover, you look up and see the younger girl. Beaming that wide smile of hers that could light up a dark room. The type of smile that makes you return the gesture before you even realize what’s happening. When she reaches your table, she greets you happily before looking back. It’s only then that you realize she’s brought company.

There she is. UConn’s basketball miracle in all her glory. Paige Bueckers. 

You look her up and down. She’s wearing her blue UConn tracksuit, her hair is in a bun, and she’s holding two crutches under her arms. Her usually bright blue eyes have become a darker color as a frown is set on her face. She didn’t want to be there, she wanted to be in her room, wallowing in her bed with a pint of ice cream. She doesn’t understand why Azzi felt the need to drag her out of the comfort of her own dorm to go meet some stranger that would give her the same stupid pitying looks she’d been getting from everyone around her. 

“Hey Ace,” you send her a grin before looking back towards the injured girl. “Hey, I’m Y/N,” you nod at her. She only frowns at you until Azzi turns and sends her a pointed look. “Paige,” the blonde sighs. You hide your amused smile, knowing she’d get even more annoyed if she thought you were making fun of her. 

“I figured it was finally time some of my favorite people met!” the brunette beams. When you catch her eye, you have a silent conversation with her. You knew why she was here with Paige. She was hoping you’d be able to help her best friend the way you’d helped her. You can tell by Azzi’s body language that she’s slightly on edge, not sure how you’d react. You send her a reassuring wink as you start talking, “About time! I’ve heard a lot about you, Paige,” you say gently. The girl only hums in response. 

You see Azzi frown for a second before her signature easy smile makes its way back to her face. “I was thinking we could all go for coffee,” she says, looking at you with hope in her eyes. “Sounds good to me!” you grin as you start packing up your stuff. Once you’re done, you glance over at Paige, who is looking around with a bored expression. You’re not offended at her not wanting to spend time with you. You knew what it was like to feel your world crash, and you’d also tried pushing people away. The blonde maybe didn’t want to be around you right now, but you’d make sure she realized that she’d be okay.

You put your bag on your lap before wheeling your way around the table so you could be right beside the basketball players. You see Paige’s eyes widen as she takes you in, only now having realized you were in a wheelchair. You let her observe you for a moment, seeing her emotions swim in her eyes. You could tell she was shocked and a bit embarrassed, but you also saw her frustrations as she clenched her jaw and started frowning again. “So that’s why Azzi wanted me to meet her. Just so she could tell me that whatever I’m going through is nothing compared to what she has to live with,” Paige thinks as she tries not to roll her eyes. 

You simply send her a smile. You don’t mind the anger that seems to radiate off of the girl. You know she’ll probably say and do stuff she doesn’t mean in rage, and you don’t mind being the person all that fury is aimed at. You know that at the end of the day, she won’t mean any of it, and you’d rather she tries to hurt your feelings than her sunshine best friend.

“Let’s go then, shall we?” you say with a raised brow and a tiny smirk before you start wheeling away. You lead the way through campus to your favorite coffee shop, making small talk with Azzi. You try to include Paige as well, but you don’t talk to her all that much, not wanting to overwhelm her. When you arrive at the shop, the brunette holds the door for you and Paige with a smile, her eyes twinkling. You thank her before following the blonde in. 

“Your usual?” Azzi asks as she walks in behind you. “Yes please, thanks Princess,” you say with a playful wink, a wide grin on your face. The brunette shakes her head in amusement, her eyes crinkling as she smiles. You make your way towards a free table in the back, waving hi to the barista that always calls you his favorite regular. Paige follows not long after, while Azzi waits in line to order the drinks. Once Paige sits down with a huff, slightly out of breath as she rubs the spots where she leaned against the crutches, you don’t say anything at first. The silence isn’t exactly fun, but it’s not a bad silence either.

When your friend makes her way to your table, you smile softly at her as you accept your drink. “Thanks, Ace.” “Of course,” she replies, her voice soft. She looks over at Paige for a moment before clearing her throat. “Listen, P, I know you’re hurting. Not just physically but mentally too. And I know how you feel like it’s the end of the world, but I promise you, it’s not. When I went through my injury and couldn’t play, I spiraled too. But then I met Y/N, and she made me realize that everything would be okay. I know you’re not happy about being here, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re not allowed to be sad, but please just… talk to her. Y/N is an amazing friend to have, not just because she knows what it’s like to lose stuff, but just because she listens. She really listens, and she has a way of making you feel a little lighter on days when things seem impossible.” 

You look at her as she’s speaking, your smile soft as your chest feels warm. It was nice to hear her say such sweet things about you and trust that you’ll be able to help someone else she cares so much about. 

Azzi turns to you before continuing. “And Y/N, please don’t think we’re only here because I want you to help P. I’ve always wanted to introduce you two. I feel like you two could be great friends!” You lean over to grab her hand and give it a little squeeze. Of course, to anyone else it might’ve looked weird, the way you and Azzi hadn’t spoken in a while, and she only seemed to come back to you for help. You knew that wasn’t the case, though. The brunette was the definition of kindness. I mean, she has the nickname “The People’s Princess” for a reason. You didn’t feel offended at all, knowing this only proved how much she trusted you and how much you’d helped her in the past.

Paige’s jaw stays clenched a little longer, her brows furrowed. “I don’t need her help. I don’t need anyone’s help,” she thinks angrily to herself. When she looks up at her best friend, however, she falters. She knows Azzi doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. “I guess… if Azzi speaks this highly of her, then… she can’t be that bad.” You see her soften as she gives the brunette a soft nod. She turns to you, sighing softly before giving you a tentative smile. You grin at her as mischief swirls in your eyes. “Yeah, we’re gonna work out just fine,” you think.

As you drink your coffee, you talk about everything that’s been happening in your life lately, asking Azzi for details on what she’s been up to since you last talked. You make sure to ask Paige questions too, getting to know her more as well. You keep the conversation away from basketball or your own accident. There was a time and place for that conversation, and it wasn’t here and now. 

You stay in the coffee shop for hours, just chatting about everything and nothing. You manage to make both girls laugh a lot, one time even making Paige laugh so hard, her coffee comes out of her nose. She’d looked pretty embarrassed, her face turning a bright red, but she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. 

You’re in the middle of telling Paige a story about something you and Azzi had done a few months ago when the brunette’s phone went off. You pause your conversation as you look at her with a raised eyebrow. “Oh shoot! I gotta go, uh, do you guys mind if I head out?” she rambles, already getting up. You look at Paige, who’s already looking at you. You grin at each other before turning to Azzi. “Don’t worry, we’ll play nice,” you smirk. 

Once the brunette leaves, you think for a moment Paige will go back to her quiet self, but you’re wrong. “So? What happened next?” she asks, her eyes wide in a childlike wonder. Warmth blossoms in your chest. The people weren’t wrong when they praised the type of person the star athlete is. She was sweet, paid full attention to what you were saying at all times, and she was funny as hell. 

You continue the story, making the blonde chuckle and shake her head in disbelief. “There’s just no way Azzi did that.” You shrug with a smirk, “It’s all true.” She looks at you a little longer, eyes squinted, as she tries to find out if you're lying. When she realizes you’re not, she chuckles again as she leans back. 

You continue to look at her and notice her demeanor change. Her smile slowly leaves her face as her body becomes tense again. Somehow you’d managed to not make her think about basketball or her injury the whole time you were at the coffee shop, but now it seemed to all come back in one big wave. 

She frowns, leaning forward as she hesitantly meets your eye. “So… Are you finally gonna tell me to just suck it up and stop moping about my knee? Because at least there’s a chance I’ll still be able to play?”

You look at her for a moment. “Nope.” You push away from the table as you start rolling your wheelchair to the door. “W-Wait, what?” You hear Paige stutter, her chair screeching from how hard she scoots it away from the table. You grin, hearing the clattering behind you as the blonde struggles to grab her crutches to follow you. You thank the girl holding the door open for you as you roll into the warm afternoon sun. Paige huffs as she finally reaches you, a frown on her face. You can tell she’s not really upset, though, the way her lips are curling into a small smile.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your dorm… well… wheel you to your dorm…? Wheel to your dorm as you hobble along…?” Your eyebrows are furrowed as you rub your chin, trying to find the right wording. You hear Paige snort beside you as she starts moving. “Oh my god, bro, just shut up.” 

You stick your tongue out in response before speeding up a bit to match her pace. You two don’t talk for a moment, enjoying the nice breeze as birds whistle around you. “I had fun with you today, Paige,” you smile up at the girl. She smiles back at you. “I had fun with you too… I’m sorry for how I acted earlier, it’s just… it’s been really hard,” the frown from earlier makes its way back onto her face.

“Don’t worry about it, P,” you say with a smile. The girl returns the gesture, hearing you call her her nickname. “So uhh, you don’t want to tell, y'know, all that stuff about how it’ll all be okay?” She asks hesitantly. “Would you believe me if I did?” You ask without any judgment in your voice. “I’m not sure�� probably not,” she says as she looks over sheepishly. “Then there wouldn’t be any point to it, would there?” You tease. 

She looks back ahead of her, but you stare a little longer. “I’ll tell you about my accident some day, but not right now. I don’t wanna tell you and have you just end up feeling bad, y’know? We had a good day, let’s not ruin it with my sob story,” you grin as you send her a wink.

Once you reach the blonde’s dorm, she looks at you with reluctant eyes. She doesn’t want to say goodbye just yet. “Give me your number, we’ll text,” you demand, not really giving her a chance to say no, but you both know she wouldn’t. You see her relax a little as she hands you her phone. Once you’ve put your number in and added a cheeky contact name, you give her back her phone. 

“Text me, alright? I know where you live now, so if you don’t, I’ll come find you,” you say with a teasing wink. “Yes, ma’am,” she grins. You two say your goodbyes before you make your way to your own dorm. You haven’t even made it out of the basketball player’s hallway before you hear your phone ding. Your stomach flutters and your chest feels warm. You were excited about your new friendship and were looking forward to getting to know the legendary player on a deeper level. 

Over the following weeks, you two continue to text every day, hanging out in the coffee shop a few more times too. Sometimes Azzi joins you, but more often than not, it’s just the two of you. You learn more about Paige’s family and friends and how life was living in Minnesota while she also gets to know you more. 

You can’t say every day you spend with the blonde is an amazing day. The girl’s injury was still fresh, so she was often grumpy and sad and found it hard to enjoy having to sit still in some coffee shop or library when she’d rather be out there playing ball. You never got upset with her though, you’d been there before, and you knew she just needed some silent support. 

One afternoon, your phone rings, bringing a smile to your face. You know who’s calling before you even look. “Hey, P,” you say, your grin clear in your voice. “Hey Y/N/N, whatcha up to?” she mumbles. “Just hanging out in my dorm, watching a show. What ‘bout you?” you reply, leaning back on your bed as you stare at the ceiling. “M’bored, you should come over… Some of the girls are coming over later… You should meet them,” she says. When you close your eyes, you can see her sitting in her room, one hand holding her phone as the other rubs her neck shyly.

“Sounds nice,” you murmur. You hear a soft sigh of relief on the other end. “Yeah?” Paige’s voice crackles through the phone, her tone hopeful. “Mhm,” you hum, “I’ll be there in like… 20 minutes?” “Ugh, 20 whole minutes?” she whines as you chuckle at how childish she could be. “Oh, I’m sorry? Do you want me to put my wheelchair in turbo mode?” You joke. “Oh my goddd, stoppp,” she groans, muffling her chuckles behind her hand. 

When you first made jokes about your injury and wheelchair, Paige had completely frozen, not knowing how to react. It had taken her a while, but now she was used to your stupid little jokes and knew you made them because you liked making people laugh.

You laugh softly at her reaction before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You get out of bed, hopping into your wheelchair with ease, having been through this whole thing what feels like a million times before. You quickly get ready, grabbing a book Azzi had been wanting to borrow for a while and putting it in your bag before heading out. 

You were excited to see Paige and Azzi again and were curious to see what their other friends were like. You were pretty nervous, though. You’d be the odd one out in their usual little bubble. You didn’t let that stop you from going over, though. You’d never really been afraid to take leaps, and weren’t going to start now either.

When you make it to Paige and Azzi’s dorm in record time (the wind must’ve helped you make it there so fast…), you let your presence be known with your signature knock. Paige opens the door almost immediately with her trademark grin. “Hey P,” you smile as you wheel your way inside. “Hey Y/N/N,” she replies. “So, when’re the others gonna be here?” you say as you follow her towards her room. “Don’t know. Half an hour maybe?” she shrugs as she plops down on her bed. You nod your head as you look around. 

You’d been in the blonde’s room a few times already, but you still liked seeing if anything had changed. Her room was filled with the usual clutter, clothes thrown on the chair in the corner, a few water bottles next to her bed,...

She pats the space next to her, inviting you in. You wheel closer before heaving yourself onto the bed. Blue eyes follow your every move, ready to jump into action if you need help. Once you’re comfortable, you lean back and smile at her. “Grey's Anatomy?” you ask, your head tilted in question. Paige’s face immediately lights up as she leans over to grab her laptop. You continue the show where you’d left off last time before you hear commotion in the living room. 

You look over at Paige, who looks back at you with a pout on her face. You chuckle, sitting up a little straighter to hop back into your wheelchair. Once you’re seated, you wait for the blonde to grab her crutches and lead the way. You laugh softly at her huffing and puffing, knowing she’d rather watch her show right now than hang out with her team.

When you make it to the living room, you see KK, Nika, Ice, and Azzi chatting as they shrug off their jackets. When they notice Paige and you, they quiet down. “Y/N! Hey, I didn’t know you were here,” Azzi beams at you. “Guys, this is Y/N, the girl I’ve told you about, the one that helped me during my recovery,” she says cheerfully. KK, Nika, and Ice smile kindly at you before introducing themselves. 

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you guys,” you smile. “Only good things, I hope?” Nika teases. “Meh,” you reply with a smirk. The girls laugh before finding a spot to sit as you guys hang out. They leave 2 spots open on the couch for Paige and you, making you send them a thankful smile. 

You sit down and get to know the girls a little better. You could see why the UConn team was such a close-knit group. The girls were funny, sweet, and protective and treated each other like family. 

After a while, KK and Ice get bored and decide to turn on Paige’s PlayStation to play Fortnite. You continue to talk to everyone, laughing at the funny stories the girls tell you about Paige, trying to embarrass her. The blonde’s face turns a bright red as she complains about them being jerks, but her bright smile doesn’t leave her face. Your heart feels like it’s grown two sizes with how happy you’re feeling.

“Oh wait, Ace, I’ve got that book you asked for,” you say. You look towards your bag, seeing it near KK. “Hey KK, d’you mind grabbing my bag for me?” you ask the gaming girl. “Hm?” she hums distractedly. “Grab it yourself, bro,” she says, completely focused on the game. You see Azzi open her mouth to say something, but you hold up your hand to stop her. You send her an evil grin as mischief swirls around in your eyes. You make your face neutral, maybe even a little pouty, as you let out a sad sigh, “Alright.” 

You grab onto your wheelchair a little louder than necessary as you lean forward to move into it. KK’s head whips around so fast, you think she might’ve given herself whiplash. “WAIT, NO!” she yells, her eyes wide as she scrambles to get up to grab it for you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone move as fast as her at that moment. 

The girls around you slap their hands in front of their mouths to stifle their giggles. The younger girl looks at them with a pouty frown, feeling bad for forgetting you couldn’t easily get up to grab something. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles as she hands you the book. You send her a wink and a grin, letting her know you were just joking. You weren't offended about the fact she seemed to have forgotten. It showed you that the girls didn’t just see you as someone with a disability.

She sits back down next to Ice, sticking her tongue out at the still laughing girl. “s’not funny,” she mutters, staring at the TV as she continues the game. You could get used to hanging out with these girls. You loved the way they constantly teased each other, but never went too far. Many people were too scared to make any type of jokes around you, too focused on your impairment to realize you were also just a person. 

20 minutes go by before a phone rings. You recognize the ringtone as Paige’s and look towards the sound. Her phone is lying on the table near Ice and KK, who both look over for a split second before their attention goes back towards the TV. “KK, gimme my phone,” Paige demands, leaning forward to grab it from her. “Get it yourself,” the younger girl quips back, not even glancing at the blonde. Paige looks over at the other girls for a second, a “Seriously?” clear on her face. 

She grins before copying you. Sigh. “Fine,” she mutters, grabbing onto her crutches, making them bang against each other. KK looks back and deadpans at her. “Go ahead,” she says dryly, turning back to her match. 

“Bruh, what the hell,” Paige huffs as she gets up to grab her phone. You let out a deep belly laugh at the annoyed look on her face. The blonde turns to you with an unamused frown, as you send her an innocent smile and a shrug. 

You guys hang out for a few hours before it’s time to head back to your dorm. Your chest feels light when you say your goodbyes. Each girl gives you a hug with the promise of hanging out again soon. When you make it back to your room, you see you already have 2 texts from Paige. “had fun 2day, thanks for coming over” and “think KK likes you more than me”. 

That night, you go to bed with a wide smile on your face.

Days go by, and you stay in touch with all of the girls, but you mainly hang out with Paige. Today was another one of your planned hangouts, this time at your dorm, but the second the blonde arrived, you knew it wouldn’t be all fun and games. She’d just gone to physical therapy for her knee, and her face looks thunderous. She hadn’t slept well, constantly waking up because of her knee, she’s sick and tired of not being able to play, and physical therapy had gone horribly. 

When she walks in, she wordlessly flops down on your couch as she stares at the ceiling, a frown etched into her face. You go over to your fridge, grabbing a bottle of water for the both of you before returning to her side. You give her the bottle and wait patiently for her to talk. “I fucking hate this,” she fumes. “It’s been weeks since the game, why is everything still so… so… ughhhh,” she groans, unable to find the words. You give her arm a squeeze in support, but she shrugs you off, shooting upright as she continues her heated rant. 

You stay calm as you listen to her, knowing she needs this moment to blow off some steam. When she quiets down, heaving from all the talking, you quietly try to comfort her. “I know it sucks, P, but you need to just keep going, don’t give up. You’ll be on the court again soon enough, and it’ll be like you never left-” you can’t finish your sentence before Paige interrupts. 

“NO, YOU DON’T FUCKING GET IT!” she yells, her frustrations high. You wince slightly at the volume but don’t say anything. You give the blonde a moment to calm down and let everything sink in. You’re not offended, you know people say things they don’t mean in moments like this. 

Once she realizes what she just said to you, the one person who understands more than anything, she looks at you with guilt in her eyes. Her blue eyes having become a shade darker as they look at you sadly. You see tears starting to well up before she leans forward, putting her face in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whimpers in shame. You lean forward again, softly grabbing her wrist to take her hands away from her face. You hold one hand between yours as you catch her eye. You give her a gentle smile, letting her know you’re not upset.

“I shouldn’t have yelled… I shouldn’t’ve said that,” she mumbles regretfully. “It’s okay, P,” you murmur, giving her hand a squeeze. “You’re not mad?” She looks at you like a kicked puppy. You shake your head with a smile, “I’ve been through worse. I’ll survive a pretty girl raising her voice at me.” She gives you a tiny, sad smile, leaning her forehead against your entwined hands.

You start telling her your story. The story of how you grew up, playing every sport under the sun, up until that one dreadful day. You tell her about the dark, depressive hole you fell into after you woke up paralyzed, the way you pushed everyone away, and how you thought nothing would ever be okay again. The whole time you’re talking, she looks you in the eyes, barely blinking as she listens intently. Her jaw clenches as her eyes become glassy when you talk about your depression. When you finish talking about what it was like the first few months after the accident, you pause for a moment, letting everything sink in.

“How’d you do it…?” She asks, her voice cracking with emotion. “It was hard… really fucking hard,” you start. “I pushed everyone away at first, but my family never gave up on me. They helped me realize that while it really fucking sucked… I was still alive. And I would find new things to care about. And I did!” You smile. “With all my free time, I started looking for new hobbies. I found out pretty quickly that I don’t have the patience for puzzles, and I poked myself one too many times to enjoy cross-stitching,” you say with a playful grin, making the athlete breathe out a little laugh.

“I learned that I have pretty good rhythm, so I was able to pick up playing the guitar and the piano pretty easily. I realized that doodling really helps me unwind after a long day, which is funny because it’s the complete opposite of how I used to relax. I got better and better at drawing and tried out a bunch of different mediums, but my favorite is still pencil drawings. I’d always loved reading but never made enough time for it, but now I try to finish at least one book a week… Uhh, I bought a PlayStation which I play on maybe a little too much, but you know what that’s like, Ms Fortnite addict.” You tease. She rolls her eyes, but you can tell that she’s no longer feeling so bad, a tiny smile decorating her face. 

You let silence fill the room for a moment. “I’m not saying this in a way of being like, ‘Stop complaining and get over it’, but I promise P, things will be okay. You’re the Paige Bueckers… It’s gonna take a lot more than a torn ACL for you to stop being you. Have some faith.” You send her a comforting smile as you squeeze her hand. She nods at you, her muscles relaxed as she finally lets out a relieved sigh. “Thanks… for everything,” she breathes. You shake your head with a smile, thinking it’s silly she’s thanking you for being her friend. “You don’t need to thank me for that… but you’re welcome. And thank you for including me in your group of friends… I don’t remember the last time I’ve had this much fun.”

You two talk for the rest of the afternoon, ordering a pizza when dinner time arrives. After you’re done eating, you migrate to your bedroom, letting a movie play in the background as you keep talking about everything and nothing. You’re sitting on your bed, telling Paige a story, waving your arms animatedly as her blue eyes stare into yours. “... And then she looked at me and I almost passed out from laughing! You should’ve seen the look on Ace’s face!” you say, hiccuping a little from laughing. The blonde laughs along, her chest feeling warm at the sound of your laugh.

“So what’s up with that nickname anyway?” she questions as she leans her head on her hand. “Ace?” You ask. “Well, her name’s Azzi, but people call her Azz, so then I started calling her Ace, as in A C E, like in a deck of cards. The ace cards are the highest cards in the deck, and I think of her quite highly,” you explain.

“Okay, but doesn’t it depend on the game?” she asks, tilting her head like a confused puppy. “Hm?” “Well, isn’t the ace card the lowest in certain games?” she says with a raised eyebrow. You can’t help laughing as she says that. “God, are you always this negative?” You tease, giving her a little push. She rolls her eyes as she scrunches her nose, sticking her tongue out. 

You continue talking until the sky becomes dark. Paige looks out the window, a slight frown growing on her face at the thought of having to leave. “Do you wanna stay the night?” you ask nonchalantly, but you feel your heart beat a little faster. Her bright blue eyes find yours immediately as she looks to see if you’re joking. “Yeah, sure, if that’s cool with you,” she says as she fiddles with her necklace. You smirk at how nervous she seems. “I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t, now would I?” She slaps your arm lightly to shut you up. “Go ahead and grab some clothes from my closet,” you tell her, hopping into your wheelchair to go get ready for bed in your bathroom.

When you return, you freeze for a moment, your heart swelling at the blonde dressed in your clothes. When she looks over at you, you start moving again, letting her use the bathroom as well. A few minutes later, she returns, looking around a little sheepishly. You pat the bed next to you, sending her a calming smile. You continue talking a little longer, but slowly feel your eyes grow heavy. You fall asleep to Paige’s tired mumbling. The last thing you remember is a soft hand grabbing yours, entwining your fingers before you doze off.

After that night, your relationship with Paige changes. You feel like you’ve somehow become even closer to her and are happy to call her your best friend. You’re rarely seen without the other, always attached to the hip. You make sure to come with her to physical therapy for silent support, while she often joins you in the library as you finish another book on your list. Your favorite hangout spot is the coffee shop where you two properly talked for the first time. You make sure to go there every week, sometimes even being joined by the girls on the team (who you’d all gotten to know pretty well by now).

When the end of Paige’s recovery nears, you’re a little nervous. While you never blamed Azzi for getting too busy to hang out a lot after she recovered, you would still be upset if the same happened with the blonde. All your worries were for naught, however, when Paige continues to call you every chance she gets, sending you quick texts when she can’t. She often adds silly selfies as well, just to make you laugh.

You’ve known you’ve had a crush on the girl for a while now, but you never said anything. Paige needed to focus on getting better without any distractions. You also didn’t want her to think your whole friendship was based on you having a crush on her, so it was best you just kept quiet.

Paige, in return, was also too scared to tell you about her crush. She loved the friendship you two had and didn’t want to ruin it just because she’d caught feelings. She was afraid that every glance, every touch, and every soft smile was just you being a good friend. She couldn’t bear to lose you after everything you’d done for her, so she kept her mouth shut.

Azzi, being the observant friend she is, immediately knew about both of your feelings when she’d “caught” you two asleep on the couch, holding each other close. She made it her mission to get you two together. She started off by trying to convince Paige to confess, but that didn’t work out well, seeing as the blonde was too scared and always shrugged her off. Her next plan was to try to make you confess, knowing you were the bravest person she knew. That sadly also didn’t work, seeing as you were too considerate of others to think about your own feelings when you knew Paige could end up getting hurt. 

So here she was, back on plan A. “Come onnn, P, she’s head over heels for you, I’m telling you!” The blonde rolls her eyes so hard it gives her a bit of a headache. “Azzi, please, we’ve been over this before, let it goooo,” Paige groans, feeling butterflies flutter in her stomach at the thought of you liking her back. “No! I’m not gonna let this go. You two mean so much to me, I just want you guys to be happy,” she says with a sad pout on her face. Paige lifts her head from where she’s lying on her bed to look at the brunette, and groans again at the kicked puppy look on her face. She could never say no to her when she made that face.

Paige sighs and stares at the ceiling for a moment. “...How sure are you?” She mutters, looking over at Azzi with desperation in her eyes. The brunette gives her a soft but excited smile. “110%, P. You know I wouldn’t say this if there was even a slight chance I was wrong.” The blonde’s cheeks turn a soft pink as a happy yet slightly embarrassed smile shows on her face. “Okay then, how do we do this?”

You’re hanging out with a friend when you hear the familiar ringtone go off. You excuse yourself for a moment, picking up the phone. “What’s up, P?” You grin. “Hey Y/N/N!” You can hear the smile in her voice. “You’re coming to our next game, right?” she asks. “Uhm, hello? It’s your first game back on the court, of course I’m coming,” you tease, sounding slightly offended she felt like she had to ask. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she chuckles, “jus’ wanted to be sure.” “I’ll be your biggest cheerleader, don’t even worry about it,” you promise. “Ight, I’ll hold you to that,” she replies before you two say your goodbyes.

When the day of Paige’s first game back arrives, you know the blonde is bursting with nerves. You meet up with her before the game to wish her good luck and to encourage her. Her leg shakes up and down as she bites her nails. Her eyes flit around the room as she nods along to what you’re saying, but you know she’s not listening. You roll closer to her, grabbing her hand and pulling it away from her mouth. You give it a gentle squeeze as she finally looks at you. “Don’t worry so much, P. You’ve been working your ass off for this moment, and you’re gonna do great, okay?” you say, trying to reassure her as much as you can. Her shoulders loosen as she finally takes in what you’re saying.

“Thanks, Y/N/N,” she mutters with a small smile. You give her a wink before you leave to wish the other girls good luck and to find your spot before the crowd starts filtering in. While Paige is extremely nervous about her first game back, she’s more nervous about what’s going to happen at halftime. She really hopes she won’t embarrass herself. She walks back over to her team, quickly going over everything again to make sure everything would go exactly the way she’d planned. 

The first quarter of the game flies by before she even knows it. She already scored 12 points, giving UConn the advantage. As she sits on the bench, listening to coach Geno, she looks around. Her eyes immediately find yours as you send her two thumbs up. She grins before locking back into the game. 

The second quarter goes by even faster, making Paige’s stomach clench with nerves. They were now 9 points ahead, so it was still anyone’s game. First, however, it was time for halftime. 

The blonde wipes her sweat on a towel, looking over at Azzi. The brunette gives her a reassuring smile before walking over to you. You don’t expect her to walk over but smile at her nonetheless. “Hey Y/N/N, how much do you trust me?” she grins. You raise an eyebrow at her, but the smile on your face doesn’t disappear. “With my life,” you reply. She sends you a beaming smile, giving your shoulder a squeeze as she wheels you onto the court. You chuckle as you ask her what’s going on. She simply says, “You’ll see.” 

Paige walks up to you, fiddling with her hands nervously. She bends down on one knee and starts talking, her voice quivering a little. “Y/N… I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.” You open your mouth to tell her off, but she holds up her hand before you can say a word. “I know, I know, I don’t need to thank you… but I want to. When you entered my life, I was going through a very difficult time. I felt like I was drowning on dry land… But you? You were like my life buoy, not letting me sink. You’re this amazing, strong person, and you’ve made me want to be like you. To never give up and to look at life in a positive way, even when things go wrong.” She swallows harshly. You grab her hand and give it a squeeze, speechless at the girl's words. Your chest feels warm as your heart feels like it’s about to burst out of its cage.

“The past few months have meant more to me than you could imagine, and… I fell for you harder than I thought I ever could… So… I want to ask you this,” she says, still nervous but a bit more confident as she sees the adoration in your eyes. She stands up and accepts the flowers Nika gives her. She hands them to you as she steps aside. 

Your eyes tear up as you see the scene in front of you. The whole UConn team, as well as the opponent's team, are standing there. All holding various items. A few girls are holding cardboard signs with the words “Will you go out with me?” on them. Your free hand flies to your mouth as you look up at Paige. The blonde is already staring at you lovingly with a soft smile. You chuckle at the amount of love you’re feeling right now as you nod your head at her. You can barely hear the crowd cheer around you as you feel your blood rushing in your ears.

The star player’s smile becomes even wider as her eyes crinkle. She grabs your hand, placing a kiss on it as all players start making their way towards you. You get handed all kinds of gifts from the blonde. Your favorite book annotated by her, a Lego set you two had talked about getting, a new pack of expensive pencils, a guitar pick maker, and a bunch of other things. You feel so incredibly seen by her that you find it hard to keep your tears at bay.

Once you’ve received all the gifts and thanked Paige a bunch, you make your way back to your seat. You hear a few “congrats” aimed your way as fans smile widely at you. When you turn back to the court, you see the blonde already looking at you. She sends you a flirty wink, making you chuckle as you shake your head in amusement. While the circumstances of you two meeting weren’t the best, you thank your lucky stars that the universe guided you to the Paige Bueckers. UConn’s star player. The golden student. The future of women’s basketball. A legend in the making. The girl that stole your heart but gave you hers in return.

[tapestryoftrauma]

give us your trans!grace thoughts pls i beg

WELL— how can I say no to that ???

But before I get into the transness and queer nature of Grace's gender, I gotta elaborate on the basics (we’re taking the long road here BUT TAKE MY HAND WE’LL GET THERE I PROMISE KSDHFJ)

It cannot be overstated that Grace’s gender as a teenage girl is quite inherent to her character, at least in how I interpret her. The way she was raised, her relationship with God and religion as a whole, her relationship to her family, her understanding of sex and sexuality, the way people (especially men, like Max or Kyle) treat her. It’s all tied back to the fact she's perceived as (and in canon identifies as) a teenage girl.

In fact, if we take the colour scheme of her general outfits (disregarding the green turtleneck sweater from Perky’s Buds, just for the ease of analysis here, but I have THOUGHTS about the turtleneck that tie more into Grace’s sexuality—) the major colours are pink and blue. Of course these colors have various meanings (including very trans meanings, WE’LL GET THERE) but let's start with basics. Pink and blue = girl and boy, as shown by the shirt division in AC. Push it further, her outfit in NPMD is baby pink and blue—which to me highlights her innocence, or expected innocence as that sexless, pure, deeply religious teenage girl everyone wants her to be.

But Grace is not that girl. She’s not the kind of girl that can sit and be quiet, because Grace Chasity is loud and abrasive and annoying to most who know her. She’s also not the kind of girl who can repress her sexual desires and wait until marriage. Grace isn’t soft and demure—she is quick to jump to rage, to violence, and she is desperate for the power that she’s been denied her whole life. Denied because she is a girl — a future wife, a future mother, a woman of church. Objectified and repressed and Grace clearly cannot stand being what her community deems to be a ‘girl.’

Okay now let's get into the trans shit BABYYY

(Disclaimer – I am trans, but my own experience does not encompass the trans experience as a whole nor am I willing to speak from any sort of authority beyond my own gender-fuckery. And for the sake of brevity, and because this is a tumblr post and already getting long, I’ll resist sourcing and quoting feminist and gender theory. For now)

I imagine, when approaching Grace from a trans or gender queer perspective, her own image of herself would be something like this. Grace is a girl because that’s what she’s always been—but maybe, if given the tools and the space and the time to think about it—she might come to conclusions. I think maybe Grace doesn’t necessarily identify heavily with either side of the specturm, but neither side is especially repulsive either. In a way, Grace is just Grace. I think at her healthiest someone would ask what her gender is and she’d say “Grace.”

Because she does enjoy wearing pretty dresses at church, and loves the pink in her wardrobe, and even adores the clips that her mom puts in her hair. But, I also think that’s not all Grace enjoys. (Heavily going off my fics here, I have a fic where Grace begins to dabble in drag) Maybe Grace likes drawing a fake beard on her face—because does she love Jesus or does she envy Jesus in a gender way? Maybe dressing up as Jesus is euphoric and enlightening and allows her to tough on masculinity in a way she never has before.

And pronouns ? Let’s talk about pronouns. I’ve joked before about Grace’s introduction to the concept of neopronouns by a joke the nerds make about “He/Him” pronouns for god being neopronouns. And I think Grace would really fuck with the idea of neoprounouns—of just getting to choose. To make a choice is to have power, and oh does Grace crave power—especially about her own body, about her identity, about who she is. I could honestly see Grace using any combination of pronouns. Any, neo, a mix, hell maybe she just goes by Grace and GOOD FOR HER !!

I also promised colour theory in the trans way – so lets touch on that. You cannot show me a character who is constantly dressed in a light pink and a light blue in ALL her outfits (except one, shhhh) and not expect me to point at her and nod my head going “yes trans.” Like COME ON? Purposeful? Highly unlikely, BUT… The colours in the trans flag DO come from the gender assigned to those two colours—and I don’t think it's unlikely that the colour scheme was picked for that reason instead.

ANYWAYYY. Those have been some of my thoughts on Trans!Grace Chasity that I have touched on a little in a fic (you can find that here if you’re interested but no pressure) and I really plan on touching on it again at some time. Thank you for the ask anon !!!

[eshehdafah]

Coming back to this over a month later after a 20m scroll back through my blog specifically to find it. I said I would talk about this, and I will.

I created my first proper OC, Stella, at age 17, in Jan or Feb of 2016. Xenoblade X was *the* game for me at the time, and I spent a few hours messing around with the character creator. I'd made a different 'character' to actually do the story on, but he didn't feel...right. So I did my work and moved on.

Stella was heavily inspired by Black Rock Shooter, one of the first anime I watched. I took my bitterness at my school experiences, all the bullying and exclusion and boundary-invasions (the last of which being by adults too), and gave it all to her. She had a very barebones backstory of her time on Earth, and her friend group, that she had trained up herself to be adequate combatants, all perished in an incident she blamed herself for. Given how specific this version of her backstory is to the world of Xenoblade X, I don't feel that this is an appropriate place to expand upon it.

She was hurting. An open wound. She fought viciously, ran headlong into danger heedless of her own life, and was at times very jaded and pessimistic. There was an AU going around the fandom at one point that I threw her into, turning her into a wrongfully-assigned criminal on the run in a world where the rules said she had to be erased from existence, even though everyone knew she had done nothing wrong.

How appropriate that I came out as trans a few years later.

Stella has been with me as a character for 8 years now. She's grown into a compassionate soul, ready to defend those she cares about and those who need that help. She still fights viciously, but it's now less because of a desensitisation towards violence, and more because she knows she *has* to fight her hardest no matter what.

One thing she won't do is lay down her life for someone else. She has a drive to not just survive, but to *live*, for herself and for others, to see what tomorrow will bring. That's more than I can say for my current state, and for most of the 26 years of my life so far. But it's what she deserves.

I sometimes think back to that time in early 2016, creating her as a character. Did I know I was choosing the path my life would take? Of course not. I was just making a character that felt more comfortable for me to play. But I took her name as my own, and her ambitions and goals as my own. I put her in situations, not ones made to harm her, but ones where she can do me proud.

I've sent her back in time to do it all over again, armed with the power and knowledge to save everyone (within narrative constraints of course, Fhail Ahm Lohs Daih is a story I pride myself on with regards to respecting and understanding the source material). I've played her in multiple TTRPG campaigns, and in each one she's an absolute min-maxed powerhouse, a force of nature, my GM and I working together to make her fit into the worlds.

When I ran my own campaign set in Bleach, I let that older side of her out, her power and traumas manifesting as a Bankai that forced her to (harmlessly, but symbolically) self-harm in order to release it. It was incredibly cathartic to me to be able to explore that side of her character, the side that did not value her own life and would sacrifice it for others in a heartbeat. I laid that portion of her to rest with that campaign, and both me and her feel all the better for it.

She continues to get development to this day. Her main home now is in FFXIV, but with Xenoblade X Switch on the horizon, I plan to make her again there. I wonder how her interactions with that world will change nearly a decade later.

I have other OCs too, of course. Arven, Candice, Ashe/Camelia. Arven is more confident and flirtatious, and specialises in fire magic. Candice, a character created for a 3-year-long campaign and never used outside of it, began as a teenager who was unsure of her place in the world, and grew to become something more. And Ashe/Camelia, a character I originally created as a result of trauma I went through in 2020 with both family and former friends, is now the one who holds much of the bitterness and edge that Stella used to carry. Kiriya, the lifeless shell that Stella took over and repurposed the body of to her own ends, will never return to this world, and thus I do not count him among my OCs, even if I owe him a life debt for helping me take those first steps of self-discovery.

But Arven is not who I want to be, she's an idealised partner for Stella with little development in regards to any flaws or shortcomings. Candice is the childhood I never had. Ashe, an identity assumed, is but a false name for Camelia, the scared little girl at the core who wants to scream at the world and ask it why life is suffering and cruelty. They all help me shoulder my burdens in different ways.

And Stella has been here since the start. She means more to me than I could ever put into words.

actually creating an oc at 16 and not really thinking much of it at the time but then having no choice but to carry her with you in your soul as you experience the next 10 years of your life and your first foray into adulthood and you return to her again and again in moments where you need comfort and familiarity and you wait to hear what happens to her next meanwhile everything is happening to you at once and next thing you know you're 26 and she's outgrown you by a decade but she's wiser and softer and less angry and so are you and there are lines at the corners of her eyes and you have them now too and you hear her voice again and it makes you feel like you're 16 sitting at your dad's computer desk again and its sad because you're not sitting there anymore and you never will again but its okay because she got the happy ending she wanted and you know that you will too. anyway.

[100frogsinatrenchcoat]

My thoughts on the dynamic of queerplatonic Isa-Siffrin-Mirabelle because I like that idea <3 I don’t know if my ramblings will make any sense BUT I LIKE THEM

The Isa —> Siffrin dynamic is more like traditional dating, has more of a romantic flavor to it. I imagine Isa’s feelings are pretty straightforwardly romantic, while Siffrin’s are a bit more complex? He likes the experience of “dating” Isa, and even might like romance, but doesn’t experience romantic ATTRACTION in the same way. Siffrin has a hard time understanding how to reciprocate Isa’s affection, but they try. And Isa sometimes struggles to know how to express affection in a way that is comfortable and understandable for Siffrin, but he makes so much effort to learn, because he and Siffrin love each other so much <3 there’s also a LOT of puns. And it’s cute and sappy.

The Mira —> Siffrin dynamic isn’t romantic at all. It’s a very intense bond that comes from them finding safety in each other. They both understand that neither is interested in anything sexual or romantic with the other, but that makes it more comfortable for them — especially Mirabelle — to feel safe being intimate. Like, cheek/forehead kisses, cuddling, sharing beds/sharing space. They both have some issues with touch, Mira because she’s afraid it could be misconstrued, and Siffrin because they’re still getting used to it, but they are each others safe space, and they love each other so much.

The Mira —> Isa dynamic also doesn’t have any romance to it. They’ve just known each other for a really really long time, and they’re not romantic, but they’re more than a typical friendship. There’s a level of trust that is really strong. And of course they both love Siffrin so much in their own ways and that sort of draws them closer to each other as well. And they both love the way the other person loves. Mira will never love anyone romantically, but she finds it incredibly touching the way Isa loves Sif. She also loves that Isa is able to love her in a non-romantic way. She loves that he can love her in a way that is safe for her. And Isa loves that Mira loves them in her way, in a way that isn’t storybook romance, but is so especially HER, which in some ways makes it even more meaningful.

[pinkiemachine]

Hey Pinkie,

Could you give me the basic gist of the NTT Team Dynamics, like the different relationships within the team?

Sorry if i'm bombarding you with these asks.

Oh, not at all! I realise I mainly covered individual characters in my previous post, mainly to cut down on time, so I’m happy to flesh things out a bit more! (I’m happy any time someone asks about my work, really 😊)

Okay, so I briefly mentioned Tim and Steph’s relationship, and there’s a lengthier post I did a while back about them, so I’ll link that at the bottom of this post.

Then there’s Tim and Conner. This one’s fun, because sometimes they get along great—Tim has a rebellious side to him, and kind of a skater boy thing going on—but he was also raised by very conservative parents and has Batman for a mentor, and he’s smart enough to know that doing something stupid will lead to stupid consequences, so sometimes (a lot of times) he winds up becoming the Mom™️ of the group. And when that happens, he and Conner come into conflict. Thing is, Conner’s smart in his own ways too, so when he gets into trouble, he’s really good at getting out of trouble, and… he knows how to spin his ideas to convince Tim to go along with them. Basically, it’s like a constant game of “join the dark side, Anakin… we have cookies!” And Steph is usually the one holding the cookies. Then Tim comes to his senses, or Batman shows up, and suddenly he’s all “of course, I—a responsible leader of this team—would never even consider doing the immature thing—cough cough!” But they become good friends. They poke fun at one another a lot, throwing zingers, and they enjoy talking when they get the chance. They just find it easy to vibe with one another.

Unlike…

Conner and Cassie! Now, this is all based off of one comic panel, but I just latched onto this idea like a barnacle to the hull of a crusty ship. Cassie did initially have a crush on Conner when they first met, but that was short-lived because she quickly discovered how annoying Conner can be sometimes. He’s like that little brother who just shows up and—for no reason—starts poking you, flipping the light switch, making noises, and generally just being a pain. Cassie was raised alone with her mother, traveling a bunch, meeting kids from a lot of other cultures, so she knows how to get along with a lot of very different people… she’s still never met someone as annoying as Conner. Plus, her moral compass points toward: being kind to people, being respectful, trying NOT to be annoying. You can see how Conner might just be pushing her buttons in a very specific way when he starts acting a little too much like Lex, and gets carried away. They’re like a cat and a dog. Chasing each other. Screaming at each other. Tim has to intervene. Sigh. But when it counts, of course they’ll always be there for one another… just for no longer than 30 seconds…

Cassie and the other two girls. Now, Cass isn’t particularly older than them by much, but it’s mostly because of her knowledge and confidence mixed with her moral compass that she (generally) is kind of looked at like the leader of the three. But only so much. Again, they’re all about the same age, so it doesn’t feel like she’s the “mom” it’s more like they’re sisters, and she’s the oldest sister… so naturally, Steph intentionally doesn’t listen sometimes. She believes that she’s got enough street smarts of her own (plus Batman’s training) that she and Cassie are on equal footing, which can sometimes lead to arguments, because Cassie feels like her world traveling and being mentored by Wonder Woman gives her more experience than Steph, so… you could say there’s some tension there… Both of them have more experience on Earth than M’gann, so she tends to look up to both of them, and often turns to them for advice. Steph loves playing “mentor” but sometimes Cassie feels like she’s giving the wrong advice (her father being a supervillain doesn’t help Cassie’s opinion, but over the course of the show, we find out that a lot of the members have villainous parents, so it becomes a moot point eventually). Now, it’s not as though Cassie enjoys being in this position of contention. She can be plenty impulsive and adventurous and is a bit of a dork, but it’s funny the way hanging out with certain people can bring out a part of you that you didn’t even know you had. Steph is such a firecracker that it’s impossible for someone not to feel a little apprehensive about what she does and says, but after the girls get to know one another better, their relationship turns from sort of a competition, to more like “partners in crime” almost. Cassie remains the moooore level headed of the two, but yeah… they can get up to trouble if left unsupervised. But with M’gann, Cassie is very sympathetic. She’s traveled, she’s felt like an alien before, she’s been the only white girl in a room before, she gets how M’gann must be feeling. (In truth, she doesn’t quite fully grasp the specifics of her situation, but to be fair, M’gann didn’t tell everyone the specifics up front, so…) Anyway, M’gann appreciates how thoughtful Cassie can be, and often looks to her for advice, especially when it comes to…

Conner and M’gann! Alright, don’t go running for the hills just yet. I know that the Young Justice cartoon scared a lot of us, but trust me when I say that these two characters are not the same ones from that show. Yes, M’gann does see Conner as fitting into the “ideal human boyfriend” category that she’s seen in all those Earth TV shows, but that image usually comes crashing down the minute Conner opens his mouth. Now, they both kinda liked the look of each other the moment they met, but keep in mind, Conner has only actually been alive for about a year or so. Maybe a year and a half—two tops. So, he’s never been in love before. It was never taught to him. He’s just a big ball of raging hormones with no guidance! yaaaaaay… Don’t worry, nothing bad happens, but imagine a six-year-old’s approach to girls… girls he likes… that more or less sums up how Conner first approached things. Very blunt, very innocent, not knowing what’s considered “too forward” or “rude” so he makes a lot of critical errors at first, which he doesn’t realise are errors until he talks to the other guys. Overall, though, his confidence levels remain relatively high, so he plans on adjusting his approach and going in for round two. M’gann feels awkward about the whole situation, like “is this how Earth boys actually are in real life? Is this just a Kryptonian thing? Am I missing something?” She’s overanalysing the situation something awful, and she wonders if it feels wrong because of something she’s doing, or not doing, and she talks to the other girls about it… When Conner actually gets it through his head how to talk to girls, that’s when their relationship starts. He can be very rough and playful, like a big golden retriever, but he’s learned that he needs to be careful with someone like M’gann, who’s more of a sweet little bunny who gets really excited about things, like “Earth Cooking” and “Vending Machines.” The two of them don’t always understand Earth things, or customs, but they’re relieved that the other doesn’t, so they kind of come up with their own private jokes, and it’s really sweet. The great difference between the two is that: Conner is super confident a lot of the time, especially about who he is and where he’s going, but M’gann is exactly the opposite. Over time, he helps her uncover the things that matter most to her, and therefore helps her understand what sort of person she is and who she wants to become.

Conner and Kaldur. Naturally, Kaldur didn’t get close to anyone at first, but after that whole adventure… he and Conner have a very specific relationship. Ever see a cub or a kitten or a puppy trying to play with their mother’s ear or tail or something, but the mom’s just sitting there, looking tired? That’s kinda it. Kaldur finds Conner’s antics amusing, up until they become irresponsible, at which point he shifts into Mom Mode.™️ He and Tim kinda share the title of “Team Mom.” Or maybe one of them’s more like “Team Dad?” You decide. (If everyone starts acting irresponsibly, Kaldur is usually the last adult standing.) Point is, Kaldur is still a battle hardened warrior, and even though he’s learning how to be more expressive, he still thinks Conner can be a bit of a drama queen, and a little too… much… at times. They’re almost a little like Jack O’Niell and Teal’c from Stargate SG-1, if anyone’s seen. But they’re cool, Kaldur doesn’t ever get annoyed with Conner, he simply handles Conner.

In general, Kaldur still has a hard time getting really, really close with the others, mainly just having serious heart-to-hearts or observing their hobbies and interests, but if there was one person on the team I would say he’s close with, it’s Tim. Tim does his best to check in with him and be there for him, as the team’s leader, and they tend to have a lot of very long, very deep conversations. They often go back and forth about battle strategy, they share the title of “Team Mom” a lot, being the two most responsible members, they’re both smart, and they’re both depressed a lot.

(Lol, just had a thought. Kaldur and Steph = Tigress and Po from Kung Fu Panda 2. *Kaldur catches Steph and flips her back around as if she were made of paper* Steph: “Did you guys see that? It’s called being awesome.”)

Now, Steph is the most extroverted in the group. She’s the one who always breaks the ice, who has no problem jumping straight into the deep end, and is the most comfortable chillin’ with the guys. Cassie never really did the whole “hanging with the guys” thing growing up, it was mostly “all the neighbourhood kids or nothing,” so, like, sort of adjacent, but not quite the same thing. Then M’gann never really hung out with guys ever, so Steph is kinda alone on that one. She and Conner are a dangerous duo. They require at least two babysitters. Then, once Bart comes along (post memory wipe, that is) their duo of chaos becomes a trio. NEVER LEAVE THESE THREE ALONE EVER. Steph tries to get close to Kaldur, and tries to introduce him to certain fun things, but for a long while she just can’t understand why they aren’t clicking, and why he and Tim do it so easily. Then, she realises that what Kaldur values is genuine conversation and connection, which is harder for her, but they wind up sharing a few moments together that help them bond a bit more.

Now Bart. I saved him for last because it’s a little confusing having to talk about two different versions of him. Pre-memory wipe, Bart is afraid, anxious, and thinks like a little kid. Being trapped in a computer for a year tends to stunt you like that. So when he first arrives, after the NTT’s initial suspicion subsides, they kinda adopt him. He’s never had his own bedroom, or owned normal civilian clothes, or eaten anything besides rations, (bacon was an eye opener), so the team can’t help but feel bad for him, though Conner specifically tends to feel like he’s a little bit like dead weight at times during their journey through time, because he’s too afraid to actually do anything for much of it. Put simply, the main form of bonding that happens with them all on that adventure is: trauma bonding. But then, there’s post-memory wipe Bart. After the wipe, his personality changed. He still naturally feels disquieted and repelled by tech, but beyond that, he’s more cheerful, funny, always moving too fast for his own good, forgetful, but with a bit of an attitude when he feels like it. Especially when people give him “the look.” Something he noticed after the memory wipe. People who knew him before sometimes look at him like he’s a wounded puppy, and he hates it. This is what eventually leads him to want to regain his memories, but that’s a story for another time. Like mentioned earlier, he gets along a little too well with Conner and Stephanie—he can drive Tim up a wall with how much he doesn’t sit still, or listen, or just… do the thing he asked him to do twenty minutes ago! But Bart’s a good kid, Tim can’t stay frustrated with him forever. Kaldur has another child to reign in. Cassie takes on an almost “big sister” role for him, and M’gann loves testing out new Earth recipes on him, because he’ll eat anything.

Alright, I think that’s everyone. Please don’t hesitate to ask more questions! Always love getting to share!

Tim and Steph’s relationship 👇

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Sparks Fuji Rock Festival '13 Interview translated from Japanese to English using google translate

Sparks, a band formed by brothers Ron and Russell Mael, have released over 20 albums in the 40 years since their debut in 1971. During their long career, they have built a unique identity with pop music as their foundation and a unique musicality that constantly reinvents its own style, and have received tremendous support from musicians such as Morrissey, Bjork, Jim O'Rourke and Franz Ferdinand. In recent years, they are such Japanophiles that they visit Japan at least once a year in addition to touring. Following their Two Hands, One Mouth tour in January this year, the two returned to Japan in July to perform at FUJI ROCK FESTIVAL '13, and we interviewed them!

--This is your second time performing at Fuji Rock. In April of this year, you also performed at Coachella, a music festival in California, which is your hometown. Is there anything different in what you keep in mind when performing at a festival compared to a regular performance?

Russell Mael: At festivals, unlike the audience that comes to see our regular performances, many people don't know our music. In that sense, it's unknown territory, but we don't change our show for that reason. We perform at festivals with the same staging as we do at regular performances. That's because we want to express what we do in the purest form possible. It doesn't matter if the number of audience members changes. And we're not performing live with the aim of having everyone jump and scream (laughs). We're just particular about how we can express ourselves as a band called Sparks at a live performance.

Ron Mael: Of course, at festivals, due to time constraints, the show will be shorter than a normal show. Our set at Coachella was short, but today's show is not that different in length from a normal show. This is because SMASH, the organizer, understood that and made the necessary adjustments. I'm grateful for that. It was a good experience for us to play at Coachella. There were only two types of bands: indie guitar bands and dance acts, and the audience that came to see us was hypnotized (laughs). But we felt that it was a good response. Of course, people who know the music and come to see us get excited, but we also attracted people who don't know anything about it.

--If Sparks were to curate a festival, what kind of lineup would they have?

Ron: All the artists I'd choose are dead now (laughs)! Miles Davis…

Russell: After Miles Davis, the Beatles.

Ron: And Glenn Gould. Russell: A festival with only 3 artists!

--This is truly the best festival!

Ron: But there'll probably be a fight over who gets to headline.

Russell: Yeah, there are three acts and only one day (laughs).

--I first heard of Sparks about 10 years ago, when I was really impressed by the song "The Number One Song In Heaven" that the members of Franz Ferdinand played as a DJ. What do you think about the fact that there are more and more young audiences who admire Sparks, including young musicians?

Ron: Oh, I see. We get along well. You mentioned festivals, but playing at venues like that is a good opportunity to promote our music to a younger audience. Of course, our fans who have been with us for many years are important, but deep down we care about the younger audience too. It's embarrassing, but of course we're happy that the music we make is loved by an audience half our age. We don't want to be treated as legends at all, but if you compare us to the image of a young band around 18 years old, we might come across as bigwigs (laughs).

--Could you tell us a bit about your current Two Hands, One Mouth tour?

Russell: It's a live show that's just Ron's two hands and my voice. We wanted to express ourselves in a way that we've never done before. We've never toured just the two of us, and Sparks has worked with various musicians in the past, but Ron and I are the core members. We wanted to show that musically in a live show. That said, we didn't want to make it a soft one like an acoustic night with a delicate singer-songwriter (laughs), so it was important to have the power and "immediacy" of Sparks. We spent a lot of time arranging the songs to make it possible for just the two of us. Especially Ron's parts. But the response from critics and fans has been good. We were worried that if we did a completely different live show than usual, even our own fans would dislike it. But we've toured most of Europe and the United States, and we're going to tour Europe and the United States again in October for the second leg. The tour title is "The Revenge of Two Hands, One Mouth," and we're going to add songs that we didn't play on this tour to the set list.

--When arranging the songs for this tour, was there anything that you found particularly difficult? For example, a dance track like "The Number One Song In Heaven"... that song is half instrumental.

Russell: Yes. On the album, the drums and kick drums add a dance-like element, but we had to take all that out. But it sounds good in a different way.

Ron: There are a lot of songs that we wanted to play but couldn't arrange well for this concept. So the setlist is about half songs we wanted to play and half songs that fit the concept. In many cases, we had to take a completely opposite approach to the original songs to play them together. That's why almost all the songs are not faithful to the originals.

--As you mentioned earlier, it seems that bands that have been active for many years often become afraid of change and fall into a rut. What is the driving force behind your spirit of challenge and your constant desire to change, even after being active for over 40 years?

Russell: Maybe it's because it's become a part of the Sparks band. We want to try out the balance of lyrics and music, songwriting, singing, personality, and other parts that are the essence of Sparks, while keeping them in various environments. It's also because we have a long career. If we don't constantly reconstruct that as a band, it will be boring for us and for our fans. So we are eager to pave a new path, just like Sparks.

--You recently performed a musical called "The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman" and released an album for it. Where do the concepts for each work come from or where do you get the inspiration?

Russell: The Seduction of Ingmar Bergman may seem like a completely different, more ambitious album than a normal one, but it's still a Sparks album in the end. Even if it's a story-driven musical, that's something Sparks would do, and we don't think of it as separate from making three-minute pop songs. People often ask me, "When is the next 'real' Sparks album coming out?" But it's a Sparks album! Fans who have loved us since the early days and understand the band know that. Even if you compare this tour and The Seduction of Ingmar Bergman, they're completely different, but for us, we feel that it's a consistent way of expression in the sense that we're doing something different every time.

Ron: Yes. It has a lot to do with doing something we've never tried before. There's a bit of anxiety, though. It would be easy to just make a 10-song album. The quality of the work is up to the listener to decide, but we've done that format so many times already, so we wanted to do something completely different within the realm of pop music. We're both sensitive to the feeling of just doing it, and we don't want to fall into that vicious circle, whether it's recording or performing live. With this live performance, it feels like we're walking a tightrope without a safety net, but that's why we felt like, "Let's give it a try!"

--During your 40 years of activity, you must have experienced many changes in the music industry. How have those changes had a beneficial impact on the band?

Russell: As technology has advanced, digital recording has had a big impact. It has become easier, cheaper, and more personal to record. Sparks' recent albums - I forget how many there are, but they were all recorded in my studio. But they're still as good as recordings made in professional studios. But that's just a superficial fact, and the act of making music hasn't changed. It's just that the fact that so many things have become so accessible has simplified the process. Ultimately, the most important process in making music hasn't changed.

--What do you think about the fact that the distance between the band and the fans has been shortened through social media? I get the impression that Sparks really cares about their fans.

Russell: We're not particularly good at using the internet, but being able to connect with our fans...I think other bands feel the same way, but I feel that it's especially beneficial for Sparks. For example, Facebook is great because you can see the immediate response. If you post "Today we're performing at Fuji Rock!", you'll get responses not only from people at the venue, but also from overseas. It's like a kind of community, which didn't exist in the past.

--Also, Sparks often posts photos of the places he visits on tour on his Facebook page. The ones he takes in Japan are especially interesting.

Ron: (laughs) Yes, especially in Japan. Japan really brings out the best in us!

--It was about two years ago, I particularly like the photo of Ron and EXILE (laughs).

Russell: Hahaha. It's old but it's a great photo. Classic!

--Finally, how do you two view the current music scene?

Ron: I hope it's a time of transition.

--Are you saying things are heading in a good direction...or the opposite?

Ron: Maybe I'm just pessimistic, but I don't feel any ambition from people making music right now. So I hope that more ambitious artists will come along. You mentioned Franz Ferdinand at the beginning of the interview, and I feel that what they're doing is solid. But I don't think they've expanded the boundaries of pop music and explored its potential. That's an important factor when we criticize pop music. I get the impression that there are very few bands that are exploring that part.

--My impression is that everything is derivative, and that it lacks the vitality and energy that was present when new movements like punk or hip hop were emerging.

Ron: Yes, there's almost no genre, everything's all one in the same, like pop music with hip hop elements.

--How about Russell?

Russell: Like Ron, I feel like a lot of artists are satisfied with the status quo. There's nothing that we hear that makes us go, "Wow! What's this? I've never heard anything like this before!" in a good way. The music right now is all "Oh, I've heard this before." That's kind of sad. There's no one doing anything that's surprising us.

--And it's not just music; the amount of information has increased enormously, and the amount we process each day has increased, so it feels like this is changing the way we interact with music.

Ron: Besides pop music, we are bombarded with various "things" every day. As a result, we can no longer concentrate enough to listen to one album. More and more people don't even buy one song on iTunes, let alone an album, and instead download it illegally. If that's the case, I wonder how much value there is in popular music today. I don't want to complain about how things used to be like this or that...

--It could also be taken as, "Things were better in the old days."

Ron: Yes, those were the days when synthesizers were pulled by horse-drawn carts (laughs).

[bellamoooon]

A/N: So…Patrick’s sister, this was supposed to be shorter but I uh…I got carried away, enjoy anyway!! <33

As patricks sister, you always understood the dynamic; Patrick is the overprotective annoying older brother and you are the nerdy—he says— younger sister.

So obviously, growing up with him was an interesting experience to say the least.

Before going to MRTA, he’d usually bring his friends over after school, and of course you being the pretty little thing you are, they’d always joke around about how Patrick’s sister was hot, (literally average twelve year old when they see any female) and well Patrick, Patrick was pissed, so this is when the golden rule—he calls it— came in.

Patrick’s sister is off-limits.

Which eventually stopped being a big deal when he left for MRTA, since you’d only see him for holidays and breaks, and you didn’t really get to meet any of his friends.

Then Art comes into Patrick’s life; Bunkmates since they were twelve, both in their first year away from home.

For the first summer break, Patrick left to go to your family’s lake house with you and your parents, and Art went back home to visit his nana, he knew his parents would most likely be away working—as per usual.

But he actually finds out that his nana had already been sent to a retirement home 15 minutes out of his home town, so he visited every couple of days during that summer even though his nana kept telling him, “Artie, you don’t have to visit an antique like me, go be a kid, enjoy your summer” however he insisted in staying around her to keep company.

So when they get back, Patrick “loud mouth” Zweig rants to Art about his summer, and Art simply nods thinking about how he’d most likely stay in the academy next summer, not like he had much to go back to at home.

Fast forward a couple of months, it’s Christmas; Art is helping Patrick pack last minute when there’s a knock at the door, then they hear a feminine voice.

“Come on dickwad, mom and dad are waiting in the car”

Patrick groaned as he started to shove his things into his bag, then looking back at art as he folded some of Patrick’s shirts.

“Hey, Donaldson, mind getting the door? It’s my fuck ass sister” he said casually as he grabbed the shirts from Art.

“Sure” Art mumbled not thinking much, only trying to imagine a female Patrick behind the door, seeing as he’s never met you, so there he goes, he opens the door and finds—not a female Patrick— but the prettiest girl he’d seen just standings there in the most angelic way.

“Hey…?”

“Art, it’s uh— my name is Art” he’s stumbling over his own words in the stupidest way possible.

“What kind of name is Art? Are you like an Arthur or something?” He cringes internally but before he can answer Patrick pushes past him.

“It’s just Art, leave him alone, he’s my best friend, only I can make fun of him, find one yourself, kid” Patrick speaks as he walks out the door with his things then turns to Art, “going home for Christmas, Donny?”

Art despised that nickname, the tips of his ears went red as his whole face flushed, but he shook his head.

“My parents said they won’t be able to make for Christmas and I— I don’t want to worry my nana so…” he said shyly and a bit disappointed but, they were the same parents that had forgotten his birthday a year ago and days later brought a cake that said “happy 14th birthday” when he was turning 12.

“Awe…that sucks man, I’ll talk to my parents, you can tag along with us to our lake house next summer”

And that’s how the tradition all started, every summer, Art would spend it with Patrick’s parents, you and Patrick at the lake house, which gave him enough time to catch a little something his nana called a Lovebug, essentially, his was crushing hard.

But of course, there was the golden rule— totally off-limits.

And Art was…fine with it, it’s not like you’d ever like him back, he was probably just “Patrick’s quiet best friend” to you.

Little did he know…

Then fast forward a couple years later, coincidentally, you would also be going to Stanford without actually knowing Art had already been there for a year.

And Stanford was full of frat parties, Halloween costume parties and in general, any party within a 10 mile radius.

And you, pretty little freshman had been invited to a frat party by one of the juniors in your econ class, and I mean, you can’t be rude, right? You have to go.

So, you do.

You wind up in a frat house with a shit ton of people, some cigarette smoke and, a whole bunch of red disposable cups, so why not grab one, what’s the worst thing it could have in it, beer probably?

Wrong.

Something that to you tasted exactly what rubbing alcohol smelled like, so it goes straight from the cup to your mouth then back to the cup as you cringe letting out a single dry cough.

“You alright there?” A gentle voice popped up from behind you, familiar but you couldn’t quite tell, but as you turn there he is; Art fucking Donaldson. With a backwards red Stanford cap and a grey Stanford hoodie.

Oh.

“Oh— Art…hey” you chuckle softly still smelling the mysterious alcohol from your mouth.

“This isn’t quite your scene, huh?” He spoke as he took a sip from his cup with that goddamn side smirk of his.

“Yeah— no, I mean, I’ve been to parties, fun, fun parties. And this, this is so my scene” you rambled nervously, it was already embarrassing enough you, a freshman was at a frat party with a pretty floral skirt and a crochet sweater.

“Really? Oh…then have fun, fun girl” he laughed as he lifted his cup a bit towards you to then walk away.

Fuck it. You were gonna get wasted.

And so, that you did; Somehow ending up in just a soaked tank top, a soaked skirt, hair dripping water and, squeaky wet shoes as you stumbled out of the pool from the backyard.

“Hey, watch it—“ Art turned as he felt your body bump against his, “oh it’s you, fun girl.” He giggled as he saw you, clearly too drunk to even know what was going on, and he could’ve just laugh it off and get back to the party, but Art wasn’t like that, and specially not to you, you’re such a pretty little thing all wasted and soaked past midnight, plus, you were Patrick’s sister. He had to.

So he said his goodbyes and grabbed you as you both walked out of the frat to go back to campus.

“So tell me, miss Zweig, how does one, as drunk as you, not drown in a pool?” He said as he saw you hold onto his arm for dear life trying not to trip, which might have just dug up something he had buried years ago.

“Y’know, im fun, and this is so my people” you said looking up at him—just barely— as you let out a hiccup.

He blushed as he heard it, clearly it was your first time getting drunk drunk, adding on to the wet hair and your shivering body,

“Right, fun girl, my bad” he chuckled “come on you’re shivering, here” he pulled his hoodie off as he handed it to you, “can’t let you catch a cold, how else will you go to your next party, miss fun girl”

“Thank you, Artie.” You said as you grabbed the hoodie sliding it over your head feeling the warmth it carried from Arts body, accompanied by the faint smell of his cologne.

Meanwhile, Art was feeling like his spine had just been ripped out; Artie.

You hadn’t called him that since the summers at the lake house, where he had attempted and failed to forget his crush on you.

“Yeah— I uh…yeah” he blushed even harder as he fumbled his words not knowing how to react.

You just shut your eyes and breathed in the scent of his cologne to then open them up, there you were, doe eyed looking at him, in his hoodie, hair soaked as you unconsciously made it harder for him to be a good friend to Patrick, he felt horrible.

Not only did the disgusting thought of wanting to fuck you against his jeep popped into his head, this is Patrick’s sister he’s fantasizing about.

“Come on— I uh, I gotta get you back on campus” he cleared his throat as he looked away avoiding your stare.

“You’re no fun anymore, Artie…” a pout made itself present as you took a step closer, your hands landing on his shoulders, “come on, Donny…”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

“Patrick would kill me, you know that.”

“I won’t tell”

He wasn’t proud of himself for turning back to look at you, but you were just so pretty, lucky he didn’t have a boner, if he hadn’t given you the hoodie to cover your very visible nipples against the tank top, he’d probably have you bent over his cars hood.

“I really— I can’t…” he mumbled, his face inches away from yours, noses brushing against each other.

“You sure?” You whispered as you stared down at his lips, “not just this once?”

“Fuck…” he muttered under his breath, well…there goes his willpower, he was in too deep already.

Next thing he knows, you’re riding him in the backseat of his car, all flushed, tits out, him whimpering as he dug his fingers into your hips holding on for dear life throwing his head back, and windows all fogged up.

Yeah, he was so screwed.

He will most definitely be breaking the golden rule for…well, let’s just say it’s not a one time thing.

[pebblesandpotatos]

Per my last post, this is how I think the LU boys approach/handle drinking.

Time: He mostly only drinks at social events or in celebration. Him and Malon will get totally hammered though on a rare occasion and Oohhh boy they are a riot to be around when that happens.

I do personally think Time had a drinking problem at some point. And while I'm not exactly sure when or for how long, let's just say it's why Lon Lon Ranch doesn't offer alcoholic milk...for the moment.

Wars: He is the most normal when it comes to drinking. He's a soldier. Of course he drinks and gets totally slammed now and again. I actually DON'T think he had a problem though. When everything was going down during the war I think he actually avoided it like the plague in case someone tried to poison him, or just because he couldn't didn't want to let his guard down that much.

It's a fun bonding thing for him so whenever the chain gets to a village he always offers to buy the older boys at least a round of drinks. It actually takes quite a bit to get him drunk but if you can it's kinda hard to tell. He's one to just get a little over dramatic about things when drunk which...isn't that far off from his normal.

Twilight: He is such a lightweight. He definitely didn't start drinking till after his adventure and the first time he got drunk was a doozy. The guy is a total mess, can't walk, and his country accent gets really heavy when drunk. Is definitely starting an arm wrestling contest and probably winning. That being said it's gotten better and he can have a few drinks now but he's not as good as Wars about knowing his limit.

Sky: Sky rarely drinks. It's not a big thing on Skylof and it's practically non existent on the surface currently. I also get the vibes that Sun would be someone very anti-drinking and therefore Sky doesn't do it and is very okay with that. When he goes out for drinks with Wars and Twilight though he somehow is not the first one to get drunk (*cough Twilight cough*) but is a total messy, love sick sap when he does.

Wild: Does. Not. Drink. At all. No amount of teasing or pleading will get him to drink alcohol. He has gotten drunk once since waking up and the experience was awful. He woke up the morning after and struggled to remember what happened and it made the poor boy panic. I also think it makes his memories/flashbacks worse. So Wild is stone cold sober and will stay that way.

Legend: Ahhh, the one that started this whole thing (as it often does cause this man is permanently on my mind). Legend is more like Time in that it's more of a social/celebratory thing for him but probably does it a bit more often. He doesn't like getting drunk though so it's rare for him to drink that much.

If you do get him drunk? Ohh boy. Oh have fun with him. Legend is basically an entirely different person when drunk. This boy is making friends with everyone. He's telling stories, cracking jokes and just being the friendly traveler he was born to be before all the trauma. He will break out into song if given the chance and try to get everyone to join him. And he will succeed. He drips charisma when drunk and its almost as intoxicating as the actual alcohol.

Hyrule: The desire to say he doesn't even know what alcohol is would be an absolute lie. Hyrule definitely drinks to the shock of the others. (Mostly Wars). Can absolutely out drink basically all of them except Wars and Time. Is the most likely to start a bar fight. Not for himself, but on behalf of his brothers. And if anyone dares try to spoil Legend's cheerful mood? Bro better start digging his own grave cause Hyrule will be out for blood.

Four: Not a big drinker. More than Sky but only barely. Each of the colors handle it differently so unless he splits it's gonna give him the worst hangover/migraine. You also never know what you're gonna get, it'll depend on which color is coming through the most. Vio turns into the biggest little shit and is probably gonna be the one getting punched for saying the wrong thing. Green is probably the one who punched him, red is passed out in the corner and blue is eating everything he can get his hands on.

Wind: Has he had drinks before? Yes, duh he is literally a pirate. Does his grandma know? No and it will stay that way if he has any say about it. However he lies through his teeth about how much he actually has/does. It's his way to make the others not look at him like the child he is. He also just loves how horrified the others are when he drinks from a flask. (It's just his grandma's soup). The only ones that have figured it out is Legend and Wild who help him keep up the facade cause they too think it's hilarious to see the others flip out

[kyouka-supremacy]

(╥﹏╥)

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

[katyspersonal]

3 for Aldrich, Aldia, Willem & Laurence

9 for Maria

11 for Micolash & Aldrich

24 for Laurence

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

As for Aldrich, I vaguely recall finding out that he checks the traits I like the most? He was one of the characters I've learned about through fandom and not on my own, and I think this ancient meme about summarises it:

Also:

@val-of-the-north SHUDDUP you're basically so horny for Laurence/Logarius/Snatchers that you can't even picture them in your mind in any way but being naked!!!!!!! *casts the stone back at u*

With Laurence, like with Mico, it was the very first glance at the character in Youtube compilation with boss themes and concept art image. I did not know the lore yet, but the design and the music made me imagine Laurence as sort of aged, sagely librarian. I could not imagine back then that his boss fight would be him being a "helpless abhorrent little mewmew" as kids call it! Heck, I thought he'd have dialogue despite the monster form x) In a way, my first impression was not wrong, with the cut content of him actually talking even in a beast form, and implication of him being a son of Cainhurst cut content librarian NPC! I have intuition for cut content before having information, hahaha!

I have nothing to say about Willem. It might be a memory gap thing, but I swear at some point I feel I was turned off and then booted back up with liking this character already installed in my system x) As for Aldia.... ugh for fuck's sake... yeah, it was this legend:

I was absolutely floored by this stupid vid even without knowing any context, but I also instantly liked this character. I didn't even know his name yet, but the voice acting and long yapping about philosophy already pulled me in XD (Also unironically, this video is precisely how I give relationship advice fhfhdds)

9) Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Yeah, I know this person. I know them very well. I know them more than anyone else. Someone who was misguided (by their destructive influence mentor figure, by their own foolishness and past history, or combination of both, who can tell anymore?) into committing awful things, then despaired over their sins and attempted redemption but also failed in some way? This person is me. At some point I've found myself in front of horrible truth about my past life and personality, and knew I was guilty and sullied forever. That it was over for me as a human being, but that didn't matter, and I could only keep people safe by locking myself away and trying to serve something better.

......annnnd it took a few years of more informed people to (metaphorically) shake me and slap my face into lucidity, explaining to me that I've fallen for the "BPD demonization" that was going far beyond than my individual failure as a friend, and we are always accused of abuse and causing irreversible harm when the worst we do is being emotionally overbearing. I kept losing trust to those friends, telling them that they were enablers who tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not 'that much of a monster', until it was other people with BPD who 'shook me and slapped my face into lucidity'. xd Nonetheless, even though now I know the truth about how society treats BPDs, I remember the feeling of being so monstrous and harmful that I was not even allowed to "touch" people with my dirty hands, how my reality used to be. So, I could write Maria going through this effortlessly, especially considering what she did was more plain and tangible!

In fact... thank you for asking me about this, because I kept wondering why I had such frequent dreams about being Maria, and why the Maria in my dreams acts like abused child that took back control against Gehrman despite my portrayal of the guy being so different. And now the puzzle is solved! That part of me still lives inside, it seems.

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Already answered this for Micolash here: ( x )! As for Aldrich, it was through properly analysing the bigger picture and context of his actions. I've figured that his madness was, in fact, being informed on what was far too ahead of everyone else around him! He, like the rest of the cast, is trapped in the rotting, doomed world in which the only choices are 1) "die with dignity" or 2) commit something unthinkable from moral standpoint for a chance to escape. And will morality of the rotting world will matter in the new world anyways? Won't it all be left behind and be forgiven?

The guy also tried to take everyone else he could with him, like sort of a fucked up Noah's Arc! I can tell that they reused the concept with Rykard, at least, I am glad they know what works xD I'd say that the sadism he experienced upon eating people was either result of insanity (he understood a thing no one should understand), or still didn't exclude the bigger purpose (egotistically revelling in how holy he is helping everyone and doing what no one else dared, which would be like my Laurence). In any case, I have the strongest respect to the courage it takes to transcend the bonds of morality and compassion in order to to greater good. Being burdened with the knowledge of how the world really works, and choosing to push through instead of still being bound... This is why I also like Fauxsefka; learning how this world works, she chose to turn people into Kin so they can't ever become beasts. I am weak for this trope, you don't understand.

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

Laurence appears in my dreams only in two contexts: 1) Micolaurence or 2) dreams about finding secret files in Bloodborne that reveal his canonical appearance before beasthood! I can tell the latter comes from my everlasting unsatisfaction with my design for him, because I love it but it doesn't feel "fitting" and I can't identify why!

The former, I think, fandom rubbing onto me x) In two of these dreams, I was Laurence. In other two, I was Micolash. In one of Laurence dreams it was mutual, in the second one I was in love unrequited. In one of Micolash dreams, it was mutual, and in another it was not.. Basically, my dreams allows me to experience this ship from every possible angle. o_o Waiting for more I guess fhhdfsfd

______________

Thank you for asking! And.. without exaggeration, you've just done quite a psychological work on me by just asking the right thing. I need to think about that, hahaha

[sysig]

Special Counseling (Patreon)

[sroloc--elbisivni]

apropos of specifics the thing I'm always prepared to rant about is that I almost never see eunuchs engaged with in fiction in a way that understands how the institution actually worked.* Varys in Game of Thrones is an example of the type, where eunuch characters are often evil and always singular, when the thing is that when eunuchs appeared historically they were as part of a class of eunuchs because pre-sterilization of surgical tools castration is not a procedure that is regularly survived unless it's being done at enough of a rate that someone has a regular job doing it. this is both 'accumulating enough experience to do it in a way that gives at LEAST a 50% survival rate' and 'having a high enough demand for it that there are enough boys being castrated to make 50% survival worth it.'

Eunuchs were in demand, is the thing--most of my reading has involved the Byzantine and Ottoman methods with a smattering of info on the outgrowth from this to castratti (which were an early modern to modern thing, the Catholic church's relationship to castration is fascinating considering that in a lot of ways the priesthood replaced the social and political functions filled by eunuchs elsewhere). there's a good (academic) book by Kathryn Ringrose on eunuchs and the Byzantine empire and it's titled 'The Perfect Servant' because that's what they were considered to be. Eunuchs were cut off from the fundamental old age support system of most of human history, ie having biological family, and they were physically marked as being close to systems of wealth and power, because there was a demand for them, because they were considered the ideal servant, because they had nowhere else to go--

I'm going in circles. let me start smaller.

you are a ten year old boy from a poor family. you are made subject to extremely personal and extremely painful violence. if you live through it--BIG if--you are physically marked as an outsider for the rest of your life. you cannot have a 'normal' life. you can be taken to an imperial court where you all of a sudden have access to centers of wealth and power in a way you never had before. because you are considered to be the tool of the state, completely loyal to the state, and therefore it is possible for you to rise to a level of power most ten year old boys from poor families will never know the existence of. and you will suffer specific health problems for the rest of your life, related to the torture you were subjected to as a ten your old.

the thing is, under the Ottomans and under most of the Byzantines, castration was not legal. and eunuchs still served in the imperial palace. and for more than half of those eighteen centuries of history, to be a eunuch was to be enslaved. and to be physically marked as being enslaved. there was a big legal reform under the Byzantines that dictated that any slave who was castrated was automatically freed (ONCE AGAIN, IF THEY LIVED CAVEAT) to try and disincentivize people from castrating boys. and YET. they still demanded them.

under the Ottomans it was illegal to enslave Muslims and it was illegal to castrate. so of course a business thrived right outside the borders of the empire (in what's now Southern Egypt and Northern Sudan in particular) kidnapping or purchasing boys, castrating them, and enslaving the survivors, often selling them directly to the imperial palace or other similarly high positions of wealth and status because they were the only places that could afford enslaved boys that had survived castration.

it was LUCRATIVE. we have records of families signing their own sons up for this because it was such a direct shortcut to wealth. and the other wack ass family dynamic that comes into it is that eunuchs were a huge part of the household of the imperial family. there's a bit of an orientalist fantasy about the 'eunuch guarding the harem' and the way it's presented implies that the castration was for the purpose of guarding the harem but that's backwards. you don't castrate guys to guard your harem you have the castrated guys guard your harem because they're already around.

and i say 'guys' but the thing that got me interested in eunuchs was actually a leapfrog from queer history because i ran across examples taken from the Acta Sanctorum of monks who had been assumed to be eunuchs who had been discovered on their death to have female anatomy. so we have evidence that people took advantage of this socially-understood role that was excluded from normal gender presentation to conceal or justify gender variant traits.

and i say excluded because it was violent! it was a denial of masculinity to people who otherwise would have participated in some form of it, but eunuchs were still understood to be, even if just grammatically, men! but in many crucial ways they also weren't and this is where I start to get incoherent and wave my hands about how the sex and gender binaries are constructed and enforced via forcible exclusion and the acknowledgement of other categories existing even as they are denied certain types of personhood and where people ask me what the point is and i just go 'i don't KNOW but don't you just want to THINK ABOUT IT????'

and for the most part no people don't want to think about it. eunuchs are wildly understudied in Anglophone scholarship, which kind of makes me froth at the mouth because the proximity of the institution of eunuchs to imperial power structures--byzantine, ottoman, chinese, mughal--means that we have so manyyyyyyyyy records. the thing traditional history studies have demanded. AND YET.

catches breath. anyway. the catholic church disapproved of castration for most of its history and you needed an exemption from the pope if you wanted to be a priest and you had to prove the castration wasn't your fault. physical perfection situation. and for all my curiosity about eunuchs and gnashing of teeth at the lack of research i have taken my own formal research in completely different directions. i will stop here because i have a normal amount of information and opinions about eunuchs and can be relied upon to discuss other things.

*the exception to most fictional depictions of eunuchs i've seen is Elizabeth Bear's Pillars of the Sky fantasy series where the order of wizards is made of eunuchs, male and female, and the eunuchdom is a prerequisite to doing magic. it's not at all historically accurate but god dammit it's INTERESTING and takes into account the class-of-persons thing.

come closer. i have a normal amount of information and opinions about eunuchs and can be relied upon to discuss other things.

[bluejayblueskies]

i've often yearned to be in a romantic relationship, from when i was pretty young to now even though i now recognize that i'm aromantic and it's not something i actually want when push comes to shove. and this probably isn't anything profound, but i've started to wonder recently if i'm actually yearning for a romantic relationship or if i'm yearning for a deeply meaningful, intimate, and loving relationship with somebody who i can trust and show all the parts of myself and know that they'll always be on my side and spend the rest of my life with, and society has just told me over and over and over again that i can't have that without the romance

[flamboyant-king]

You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.

And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)

ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.

This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.