#i can motivate myself to do things that are genuinely important and weighted in my life

[strxnged]

i think i prefer productivity in what my life already is rather than productivity in a life i cannot fully replicate

[solarwynd]

Tbh I don't even care / dislike boycott armys. If you don't want to spend money on BTS because they haven't spoken about Palestine, that's your perogative. Because they're enlisted, that does make a difference for me - maybe others find it an excuse but as someone who doesn't live in a liberal western country myself, I know how things like this work in my country and how vulnerable you can be in this situation, so I don't know how it works in s korea but still I'm giving them some leeway. Also there's just this weird disconnect for me because on one side yeah they're millionaires with a huge platform, on the other side they're currently in the mfing army right now. It feels foul to start tweeting about their privilege from the comfort of my bed in my home - something they currently do not experience. That's just my opinion. Someone else might perceive them to have more power than I do and maybe they're right. I won't say mine is the only right way to think. Plus again it's your money - if you donate more and spend less on merch then that's still a net good imo.

But the whole tone of people remarking on this donation has been completely gross. The way they talk about a genocide the same way they talk about the stupid fanwars that happen on twt everyday rather than with the weight it deserves makes me feel like this is some performative bs. Tweets like the ones some armys and kpop stans make just degrades the whole movement.

If you do have genuine intentions and start making stupid tweets like that, you should really touch some grass, log off twitter and do some more actual activism offline instead of letting twitter brain worms consume you. Acting like everyone's misconstruing what you said and playing victim is also not the move. This is a serious topic so I'd expect tweets related to this to have some actual thought behind it instead of spewing some idiocy as a gotcha because again it looks like you're treating this whole issue like some fandom war and trying to one-up the other side. Click-clack my ass.

Armys always come at BTS crazy during times like this and it’s not because it’s “necessary” since you want them to speak up. It all just comes off as sanctimonious and BTS ruining the perception armys have built around them as stans of them being a bit more conscientious than other k groups. I’ve never had an issue with boycotting in theory it’s just that armys can’t stand behind shit or just go about it the wrong way.

Why is it the minute they don’t perform to your exact standards, all of a sudden they’re low down and evil?Why couldn’t y’all have used Jimin donating as a beacon to rally fans to open a pool or something? And I try not to go tit for tat on things like this, but it’s extremely hard not to when you see proof of all these armys happily buying and streaming golden from last year and have been the main ones making these posts about jimin’s donation.

Nothing has changed from that time to present day. Same with the kpop stans trying to join in on it stanning groups who haven’t said a word either. How do you expect me not to believe y’all don’t have ulterior motives by singling him or BTS out? Now all those accounts have deleted those tweets cause they’ve gotten called out on their hypocrisy and got caught up in how dumb they look getting Jimin dragged over something so harmless. Cause it’s not like he gave money to something inane or inconsequential. He’s helping underprivileged children. Just real dickheaded behavior from that person.

Now considering how a member has close ties with scooter, making a statement would come off as hypocritical. I know in the grander scheme of things, what’s needed and what’s important is the awareness and I’d take it as such. But denouncing Zionism with a Zionist so avidly in the mix still wouldn’t be a good look. Which is why I feel like donating would have been the better option. It’d be much more substantial helping out with funds/materials imo because those are things Palestinians desperately need. But I understand that it’s not on the table since they’re in the military.

[oryu404]

Hi, I loved your Sting analysis and I 100% agree with all of it so allow me to send you my "how the Sting/Rogue Vs Natsu/Gajeel fight should have happened" propaganda, because I spend way too long thinking how to fix it and I love my version:

So basically, since Sabertooth was presented as the unchallenged 7 year running victors, strongest guild in Fiore and they are amongst the also seemingly unchallenged top 5 of that guild, I think they *need* to be shown to be stronger than Natsu to live up to the hype. (And the most annoying thing is that Mashima *can* write 'Natsu goes against a stronger opponent and win' satisfyingly, exhibit A: Laxus) Like come on, Natsu is a badass but he was never before shown to be an undefeatable super powerhouse, and Sting/Rogue are the current antagonist that got hyped up a lot, story wise they have to be stronger! If the twist is actually every other guild except FT is kinda weak and therefore so is Sabertooth that's a bad twist! And it's not even satisfying to watch!

But they still need to lose, so how? Imo the most satisfying would be: due to their own overconfidence, it's fun and it works with the themes too!

So the way I would write it, (first by forgetting the 'Gajeel and Natsu weren't starting full strength' BS, like since when??? This is FT, where no one ever holds back, not Dragon Ball) but I distress so:

Sting/Rogue are winning handily, throwing unison raid like candy so Sting decides to solo them, goes into Dragon Force and keep winning, even if not as easily and Natsu, who does tend to overestimate himself if it's not life and death, still goes all 'I don't need you Gajeel, I'm gonna win by myself' but he doesn't kick him out of the arena, because that was terrible, and Gajeel is staying around like 'fine go get your ass kicked, I'll laughs'

And 2v1 was hard enough, 1v1 Natsu is losing fast, only Gajeel isn't stupid and he wants to win so he had a plan: while Rogue was distracted and not paying attention to him, having kinda disregarded him as a threat, he jumps him and doesn't let him use Dragon Force, maybe Rogue is the one who get kicked down a mine shaft even.

And then Gajeel somehow creates an explosion to give fire to Natsu and rejoins the fight. Gajeel is still relatively fresh while Sting has just been burning through a ton of magic between Dragon Force and unnecessarily showing off and so Gajeel/Natsu show that they can in fact fight together decently and they win, preferably with an unexpected unison raid.

That way the fight is hard won and thus satisfying to watch, Sting/Rogue were defeated by their own hubris (and separately!) even though they actually were stronger, illustrating the whole 'the strength of friendship beat being personally strong and is more important' theme (AND it gives more weight and more anticipation for Rogue Vs Gajeel future fight, but that would be a whole other essay) AND *it's not the only duo showing the power of friendship who loses* because genuinely, I think Mashima might have forgotten who he was trying to make us root for? (Why give Sting the Power of Friendship tm AND an emotional motivational flashback and then make him lose like that???)

Anyways, so sorry this got incredibly long, but I don't want to erase it now that I wrote all that ^^' Please do ignore me if I was bothering you

Hi! I'm so glad you liked my Sting rant analysis! Also, uhm...Hell Yes to your version of the dragon slayer tag battle! It hits a couple of points that I think are very satisfying, and that would make a lot of sense.

- Sting and Rogue being defeated separately, and directly thanks to their own arrogance: The Twin Dragons have insane teamwork and amplify each other's strengths. Separating them should be step 1 towards defeating them. Plus, they've shown arrogance (Sting) and indifference (Rogue) from the beginning. Having those attitudes be their downfall would fit very nicely into their humbling and later character improvement. And the scenario you posed works really well: Sting showing off and blowing through his MP, and Rogue letting his guard down when he lost interest. Mistakes neither of them care to make again on the last day (especially after the beating from their master). Sting now saves up all his strength for the final confrontation, while Rogue focuses on settling his score with Gajeel.

- Natsu and Gajeel teamwork: These two are rivals who never had the friendliest dynamic, so showing them put all that aside and win this battle for FT? If that ain't power of friendship, I don't know what is.

- Rogue getting kicked down the mineshaft....Now that would be very interesting considering what he'd find there. He and Gajeel wouldn't be able to really finish their fight so it would absolutely up the anticipation for their second encounter on the final day. Still trying to figure out what it would mean for the stuff with Zirconis, but I'm very intrigued by the idea.

Thanks so much for this message, I absolutely loved it!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, i think I'd like reassurance or clarity on what this sort of trauma is, if that's alright. tw for descriptions of seizing in humans

i live with my long term spouse, who has pnes which heavily mirrors epileptic seizures. we live alone and relatively distanced from my family, but they're disconnected from theirs - that on top of living alone together means i have been the one taking care of them during and after these episodes. they're very sporadic, sometimes several a day, sometimes once every fortnight.

the thing is, i am a traumatised person already, i have a chronic illness and ptsd among other things, and am essentially my partner's carer. i care about them a lot obviously, but over time i have developed this reaction to ambulances and police officers from having to call emergency services for them, waiting for info from doctors, having emts and very loud police officers in my home. from the very first episode which mirrored a grand mal seizure, where i genuinely thought they were dying, i have cried for every episode they've had. even the really short ones.

i hate making this about me. it feels so selfish. but i learned about vicarious trauma, and it seems similarish. i can't tell what to call this, or if I'm making this too much about myself. my partner has said multiple times that they don't remember what happens when they have the episodes, and has told me they're very grateful for how i care for them. it's not that it's not enough, but i feel so burnt out. we don't leave the house much. i motivate us both to do pretty much everything, on top of trying to navigate my own problems and symptoms.

thank you for running this blog and accepting asks like these. you're doing a lovely thing, and i hope you're doing okay, mods.

- 🫐

Hi 🫐,

I'm sorry about what you and your partner have been going through.

This can definitely count as trauma, although I'm not sure that vicarious trauma necessarily applies here. From my understanding, vicarious trauma, which can also count as non-contact abuse, is when someone else's trauma traumatizes you. Usually this happens when someone hears about something that happened to someone else. I don't think this is necessarily accurate in this situation because you're directly impacted by carrying a ton of responsibility, for example.

I also just want to say that yes, your partner is going through a lot, but you are too. I don't think it's necessarily "making it about you" to acknowledge the impact that this is all having on you. Being able to recognize this is an important step in determining what to do with that, whether that means coming to some kind of compromise with your partner, making some kind of adjustment, just talking it out, or something else. It's important to set boundaries, especially in a time like this where you are carrying more than you can feasibly lift.

If you wanted a specific name for this experience, you could maybe call this caregiver burnout. Because you have the responsibilities of someone who gets paid to do these things and are, as a result, crumbling under the weight. I'm not sure if there are other terms to more accurately describe this experience, but if anyone reading has any suggestions, please feel free to comment.

If possible, I'm wondering if getting an actual carer for your partner would help take the pressure off.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[i-saw-my-corpse-along-the-path]

Jesus Christ, I need to make some fucking friends, or find a partner, I need a person who actually thinks about me when I’m not just right in front of them or at the top of their mind for whatever reason.

It’s a frustrating predicament, people often indicate that they enjoy my presence and talking to me, but I realized I don’t actually have a single close friend that I regularly talk to (my beloved friends from the past are far away now, have their own lives yknow, and I don’t wanna hit them up just to dump… myself on them), and none that I hang out with. I live with my friend, but they’re more like my sibling, and I just don’t really think they want to/are able to really engage with my interests.

I’m a sad pathetic freak, and I’ve none but myself to blame. I fear I will never be loved and seen for my full self.

It seems like I just really struggle to deepen relationships. I don’t really know how to get out of it either. I do not enjoy going out and doing the things people do to get to know each other, it’s like I’m stuck in school child mode where I just want to hang out with people at their houses, but my roommate says that people need to get to know you before they want to do things like that. And also that I need to be vulnerable and authentic. I simply do not understand how to balance these things. How are you supposed to be authentic and let people know just enough that they trust you but also aren’t freaked out by you being “weird” or “too much”? Or ruining your life by saying something and being socially ostracized? I’ve also received feedback that I seem “fake” because of my general disposition that leans towards people pleasing. I know where to draw lines and I have a very set mind once I’ve made it up, so it’s not like I do anything to please anyone, I just don’t have many of my own motivations and desires (or at least not ones I feel are realistic / obtainable / appropriate / can actually help move you though life) so I mainly do what I can to help out the people in my life. Hobbies have mainly become my way to rest.

But what does that achieve? As far as I can tell, I’m a helpful yet vaguely unsettling presence. I’m either too serious (everything seems more important to me than everyone else) too hyper (oh but it must be what makes me sooooo funny! /sar people do say I’m funny but I feel like my bones are rattling and I’m getting swept away in a torrent), too depressing, or I give an answer that is “such a (name) answer”! Well. Yeah, I suppose I do sometimes miss the forest for the trees, but many misunderstandings/annoyances are because people want easy answers and I simply cannot! There are no easy answers so if I thought you were genuinely asking me a question I’ll do my best to answer thoroughly. And details matter too. It’s about balance and trying for Insight (like the Buddhist concept).

God how I want to just be content doing the things I enjoy, working and reading and artistic pursuits. I don’t really even know what I’d do with friends at this point, and that, in my mind, makes me an awful rot totally undeserving of the one thing I do want: a partner, someone who loves me for who I am, who chose me, and who wants to listen to me, someone I can shower with devotion and follow on their adventures, or be their home base to return to when they need to rest. I do not deserve this, as is evident. I would be a lead weight, dragging them down. A “sure, he’s really nice and seems smart but… idk” weirdo that makes their family and friends question their choices.

The thing is that you can play the game perfectly, say everything right, and none of that actually matters at the end of the day because people sense you trying and that must make them nervous or something. Your careful calculations, meant to make them laugh and smile, well it does that, but maybe it makes their skin crawl too? But you’re “nice” and “helpful” so they feel bad about it, they feel bad about you. People are nice to me, invite me to things they know I’ll say no to (but never anywhere they know I might actually want to go) and I think it’s because they feel bad for me.

It’s so much worse if you actually like them and respect their opinions too. With so many, they’re easy to dismiss, I know why they think what they do and I take their opinions with a grain of salt. Not so when I actually do like them, I actually do deeply respect what they think. You want them to like you too, to also care but if you try too hard it has the exact opposite effect. And if you ever let too loose in an attempt to become closer through vulnerable authenticity, you’ll get a weird look or worse. Even if it was appropriate sharing time, the darkness unnerves. So… Why bother sharing how you really are? But, shit, why bother with a pre packaged response either?

Everyone says you’ll find your people but what happens when you’re not good enough for the people you’ve already found, that you already like? How do you find the strength to keep trying?

I absolutely viscerally fucking loathe “going out” and doing anything outside of routine without a Special Person with me. I do not. Want to go out for the sake of it. I get absolutely nothing out of it, it makes me panic and I start to loathe absolutely every particle of the system around me and before I know it it will seem like everything is all twisted up with cruelty and pain, even/especially the people, and it just hits me how much I do not want to be here, at all. I may know that’s not true all the time, but really the only way I can describe it is that I feel like a traveling spirit that has been stuck in one world for far too long. It’s time to move on. But that’s not the case, is it? In the actuality of my personal belief, I’ve been given one precious life to experience, just one. No second chances. Aside from the pain that such a bad, pre mature death would bring to the living, I can admit that I want to experience love. The feeling of being chosen and cherished. It’s the only thing I’ve ever truly, deeply wanted, and it cannot be forced. It just has to happen.

I need patience. I need to get older, and meet more people, I’m sure. But I already feel so fucking bone deep tired, so wrecked, so wretched. I don’t want to just keep holding on, reminding myself that everything is always changing and that what I’m feeling is temporary.

What I want is to give in, not so much as give up. Quit trying, and act how I feel. But I actually think it’s important to consider how my actions affect others. The planet. The future. I wish I could just stop consuming somehow, float along and wake up in a new world. I don’t feel worthy of what I take in right now. And I need to say it: I’m really struggling right now. My skin may be clean, I may go to bed at 10:30 and wake up at 7:00, I may do yoga almost every day, I may hold a job, but not a bit of it because I wish great health for myself. Perhaps quite the opposite? I crave the sensation of ripped, eternally healing flesh. Smoke in my lungs. The cold and fear. Dark temptations indeed but alas. These matters are crucially important to being able to show up for the world.

I guess it just won’t ever end until I’m over, will it?

[kin2therapper]

HOW THE CORPORATE WORLD CAN HELP THOSE STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION;

Doing the outreaches has given me some insight on how to help those struggling with addiction that I would love to share. Here are some things that I have learnt that will help all those who are interested in giving a hand to those who are struggling with addiction. I do outreaches mostly in the ghetto but these things I am going to share cut across. The model right now on ground how to get donor funding is sharing the work you do. Either photos or videos; footage. This won't work in the mental health field as it breaks down confidentiality. The most important thing when helping those struggling with addiction is confidentiality. This gives one who is helping more access and more results. I have footage of those I reach out to in the ghettos and if I was to share it, it has the potential of rallying in much donor funding. I do not share it. I have access to a lot more footage but I'm very reluctant to record it. Keeping confidentiality is key in getting results in helping people overcome addiction. I limit what I share to only blurred out photos and soon, I'll be able to do blurred out videos. At the end of the day, when you do things for money, you miss the mark when it comes to the basics of helping those who have an issue with addiction. This brings me to the second point. Building trust. People who struggle with addiction are intelligent, calculative, manipulative, deceptive etc. Building trust with them is easy when your motives are pure but very hard when they sense you have an ulterior motive. When you go to the ghetto as a foundation, already the trust has been broken. They are very distrusting. At the end of the day, activity will be much but the real work when it comes to recovery will not have been done. This is observed as those reached out to are focusing more on what's in it for them rather than them opening up to heal. Some could be bearing the weight of the guilt of something bad they did and they need someone to talk to. Building trust is a very important thing in helping those struggling with addiction. It's currency in the work. People have things eating them up and if we are to help, we must position ourselves to be trusted. When you go with the answer, the results may be minimal, but when you help someone find the answer within themselves, the results are enormous. This brings me to the third point. How you approach the one you are helping as an individual or a foundation matters. When I do the outreaches, I never position myself as having the answers. All I can do is share light (the practical things I do that have helped me stay sober) and hope that that will spark off one of them to also follow that path. I share my experience, strength and hope. That's the best I can do. Apart from that, there's nothing much I can do. There's nothing much a lot of money can do when it comes to recovery. Most of the work has to be done by those who are struggling with addiction. You can't do it for them as an individual, or a foundation. And many have tried to do the work for those struggling with addiction and initially have success, but then eventually fail. Money that is invested in doing the work for those who are struggling with addiction will see no fruit. I am going to share where the money can be put when it comes to mental health and recovery. Where you can genuinely ask for donor funding and get it and spend it without having a guilty conscience. The first is in creating awareness- this reduces the stigma of addiction. Donor funding can be got to buy airtime on TVs. Those in media can help guide us more with that. When the stigma is reduced, people will feel freer to come out and open up. Donor funding should mostly be got to create a safe space for mental health and recovery. To create spaces for people to recover. Here's where to start. We can’t push them to want to recover but we can fully embrace them when they want to recover and bear the weight of whatever they come with. Donor funding can be got to facilitate counsellors, therapists, psychologists etc that they may be able to help those who deserve the help without charging a fee. Money can be put into detoxification centres. Note; I haven't said rehabs. Detoxification centres that help with withdrawals from Class A Drugs. This shouldn't be for more than a month. Harm reduction can be included in this. You have a valid question in asking, how about after they detoxify? This brings me to the last thing I am going to share. A Recovery Resource Centre. A recovery resource centre is a one spot place where those in recovery can meet and "chill," network, watch recovery related movies, pray, seek guidance and emotional support, attend meetings, read recovery related content etc. This is ideal as it helps absorb the shock of 'what next?' after rehab and slowly integrates the person who has been struggling with addiction to the world. An oasis of sorts in a wilderness. Read the full article

[rianamblings]

On Characters and Circles...

Foreword

In accordance with my posting habits, I've come to do my annual update for this blog. My draftsmanship has improved by a smidge, and my story sensibilities... mayhaps they remain the same. I feel like the most grueling part of looking at this archive is reading through my older entries. I've always written with some sort of strange self-important prose, but it gets more evident the older the entry is. Oh well!

I am working hard to update and put together my portfolio for the new year. I want to do better for myself this year, as I wasn't able to put together anything noteworthy in my eyes last year. I'd like to fall in love with the process again.

Funny enough, I feel like learning more didactic approaches to story structure and whatnot has served to hinder me. I'd like to remain far more loose in my approach as I had when I started. I felt my character work tends to suffer when I start ideating too hard about following a clear three-act structure. Pontificating too hard about Save the Cat has not been good for the old creative process as well. And I think that's come down to how I view my characters in my head.

Running in Circles...

To fit a character perfectly inside a circle, have them complete their arc cleanly, while still retaining that bit of human imperfection. How difficult to do in the span of 100-300 panels! And then I'm left to combat against my own need to over complicate things and over-think about a character that needs to fit in said very perfect story circle.

Above is my crude rendition of Dan Harmon's story circle, of similar make to Campbells's Hero's Journey and other literary tools made to delineate the protagonist's struggle. I like circles and structure, and I've come to understand these tools exist as a way to better treat a story when a problem arises. That rather than bringing them in from the beginning, I've found it best to employ them when there's a need to fix a story issue and get to the core of the problem by understanding what purpose a plot point serves. You're better off for knowing the rules and so on.

Yet I would find myself stumbling with them, and I feel that I ended up using it incorrectly in the end. Losing sight of character in the pursuit of needing to hit very particular beats. It's a rough balancing act.

To combat my inclination towards my dry approach to doing story outlines, in lieu of Google excel sheets of plot points, I've opted to just letting the characters lead. I feel that in the story classes I've taken, I wanted so hard to apply what I learned in as clinically academic of a way possible.

This approach seems so simple and almost juvenile. Of course the character leads the story. And grass is green. But for me it has not just been simple enough to make a character and have them move a plot forward. I plot in stray ideas just very loosely connected by threads... And I don't make things easy for myself, of course.

Character First

I've always been advised with character first, and then craft a story around them. And I do think it's a solid approach for the majority of things. Yet I think with the character making process, to come up with something genuine and from the heart, it takes a lot more from me than listing out traits, a motive, and a backstory. And so I went back to how I made characters back in middle school

Performing open heart surgery on my self-homonculus

I take a bit of myself, a bit of my heart, a bit of the parts that I dislike most about myself. Chipping it off, I turn that into whatever my character's core wound is, making it the thing that gives them weight. This is my idea of writing from experience. In that way, no matter how far off the genre or world, I try to ground them a little bit in myself. And in my hopes and dreams and wishes. I see the character as a space to explore that facet of myself, and see what I can make with it.

I don't think it's enough for me to have a cool plot idea, it's seldom enough to keep me interested. I need my own personal stake in there, and that means putting a little bit of myself in it. (Which is difficult for me, as I enjoy being as private as possible) I need a character that keeps my mind hostage, to the point where I have to write about it. And once that part of me is set in place, I like to develop a world around them from there. I'd like for my story sequences to be a vignette rather than the whole story. I want my characters to have lived a life before what I've drawn of them, and to have a life after the last panel. (Yes, so cheesy.)

And I know not every character calls for such an approach. At times, it's enough to have a story about people with no deeply ingrained trauma, and this method doesn't even always work for me. Not every story needs to be a deep meditation on human nature or a character study. But my intent has always been storytelling to reflect on my experiences and my interests. And I find this way organic and much more freeing!

Perhaps this entry made little sense and offers no real revelations on the art of character writing, but I'm glad to get some of my thoughts on the matter on paper. (hypertext?) I hope to continue making entries like this to see how my process and approach evolves. I hope to create even more genuine stories from the heart!

Yours truly,

Ri ♡

[glorified-red]

Red, you’re a seasoned college student. What types of jobs/internships did you have?

Snd do you have any tips for time management?I’ll be taking 18 credits starting in the fall plus working two jobs so I can graduate early

Do you use google calendar ?

I suppose I am!

I ended up looking up on-campus jobs that were close to my field to see what I could get into. This led to opportunities within the library, the writing center, tutoring, etc. They typically hire students but if you negotiate, you can probably work a semester unpayed and count it as an internship (that’s what I did).

My college also has a ton of publishing journals where students can have internships as editors and publishers. They also have certain professors who oversee internship opportunities. If your college is the same, try to see if you can reach out to professors or advisors who can guide you through internship opportunities.

18 credits is intense. I wish you the best of luck.

When it comes to time management, it’s all about priority and energy. Prioritize what is due soonest or holds the biggest weight. You’re not going to have the time or energy to give 100% on every single assignment you do—that’s the reality of taking that many classes. Figure out what assignments you can give 50% on and which ones you HAVE to give 100%. Make your effort proportional to how important an assignment is so you don’t burn yourself out.

I’m not gonna say 18 credits and two jobs is impossible, but if you end up getting to withdrawal or drop season and youre having a hard time, it’s not a bad thing to drop or withdrawal from a class to take later.

You can always retake a class but you only have one chance with your mental health.

Some things I do:

- have a calendar. I don’t use google calendar but I hear it’s good.

- look into some organizational thing to keep track of assignments. With so many classes, things are more likely to slip through the cracks. I use a spreadsheet but I’ve seen others use a planner or a canvas extension? There’s also apps to track school assignments. Look into those. Don’t just trust yourself to remember.

- reflect on how you’re doing FREQUENTLY so that you can catch when you need a break before it’s too late.

- make doing assignments fun. I go to cafes so I can be around other productive people and get myself a sweet treat as motivation. Go to the library! Make your desk cute and fun! And comfy!

- have friends who will support and motivate you to prioritize your academic and career goals. It’s very easy to feel disappointed when your social life disappears in semesters like these (and it will). So find friends who will go to libraries with you and go on study dates.

- take a goddamn break. Don’t let an assignment keep you up too late. School is never worth losing yourself along the way. Rest and sleep. Once again:

You can always retake a class but you only have one chance with your mental health.

- go! To! Office! Hours! If your professors offer extra hours to talk to them—-GO. It never hurts and most professors genuinely want to help. You’d be stupid to assume college is all about “figuring it out yourself” nO. Make friends with your classmates. Ask questions. Be confused. Say you don’t understand. It is okay and EXPECTED.

Good luck and if you have any other questions or any advice, feel free to stop on by!

[littlemissshiney]

Thot#1: Instant motivation

Brushing my teeth at two in the morning, trying to maximize my 'me' time. Let's not forget the fact that I spent 25% of that time thinking about others.

--Are they having a good day?

--I'm hungry, I wonder what they had for lunch

--Are they thinking about me and my day?

Instantly, I feel a decrease in my happiness. At the time I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but now I know. I felt the cold distant depression, the increase in weight on my entire being. As if the toothbrush now weighed twenty pounds. I could feel my shoulders drop and my posture shrivel. Instantly taking up less space. As if I believed I didn't deserve to take up more than the least amount possible. I thought in this moment,

--No. They have more important things.

Agreement#2: Don't take anything personally

I glance at my arm and see a rash beginning to form.

---Where did this rash come from? Did I eat something different today?

---I only had The Habit

The only food app I'll allow on my phone. How I treat myself when I simply need to survive. Why The Habit? Because I made it a habit.

Consistency breeds trust, trust breeds space, space breads peace.

I must create space for everything in between. So often I brush over the middle.

The times I don't overthink ten steps ahead.

When I'm not anxious.

The conversations that happen genuinely and instantaneously.

All of the space.

I'm learning.

To build that space, to guard it, to make room for peace.

You will not show up how you have in the past. You are no longer that person.

You are now a different version of yourself.

TRUST YOURSELF.

Only you know what is best for you.

Agreement#4: Always do your best

You know you want it. You can't imagine anything else at this point. Slowly but surely, and there's nothing wrong with being a corporate slave in the mean time if the people you are slaving with support you in anything and everything that you do.

I heard somewhere that treating your coworkers and those you work with as your 'work family' can be toxic.

I say we only put ourselves in situations we know we can handle.

You either pivot or burn, and if you burn -you have to be vulnerable enough to put out the fire you started.

A ramble and a half.

Long story short, I want to be that girl that feels everything and is not afraid to share it.

Someone very dear to me taught me that I REALLY want to share my life. To the point where I romanticize that thought over everything else. To me -that meant you talk to one person about everything. Aiiiiyyyaaaaaa.

Not even close.

So here I go, posting because I no longer want to be afraid and no longer want to filter my thoughts.

Welcome to my wild conscious thoughts.

Hello.

[criticinlove]

2022 Favorites

I want to write about favorite things because I am such a negative nellie but when stop for a second I remember I am such a lucky duck and am constantly obsessed with so many things around me.

my belly: like everyone, I think, I am ~on a journey~ towards body acceptance and true peace with my relationship with food. losing the structure of school and living alone has been harder for this than I was expecting, and both my ability to maintain healthy habits without much stress and my confidence in myself have taken a big hit. that said, this is the first year I have ever looked in a mirror naked when I "look bad" and found some beauty in the strange shapes it takes over time. it really is a journey, and my belly is coming along with.

the IRA: wow. Manchin made this a rollercoaster that it really didn't need to be, but when it finally passed by surprise... I haven't felt anything like that ever. Amidst so much shitty political activity this year re: repro rights, LGBT rights, COP27, etc, this was such a BOON and it relieved a pretty huge psychological weight I didn't even realize was there. Having imperfect but real legislation at the federal level is a dream come true for me and so many activists and is so motivating. It has also been gratifying to use my intimate knowledge of this bill in my work. sweet.

art class: haven't had an art instructor since freshman year of college when I took my animation class, and it seems like one of those things that only gets better as you get older, because you can really appreciate advice but you also understand that art and taste are personal. having a structured amount of time to create art with others was nearly euphoria inducing some weeks. one week I walked the half hour home with a shit-eating grin on my face the entire time feeling like the luckiest person alive. another week I was really freaking out and had to step out to cry in the academic building bathroom and thought I couldn't take it but then I went back in and listened to music and drew for two more hours and felt so much better. art is therapy, as they say.

killing my move: it is uncomfortable to toot one's own horn, but looking back I am impressed with how I managed my first two-ish months in the bay. I am proud that I just put myself out there like an animal - it brought me into so many weird social situations, and it was gratifying to make peace with the fact that some worked out and some didn't. that's not me being fundamentally unlikeable, it's just that some things connect in life and some don't, and that's a good thing. it has given me so much hope and inspiration to broaden my horizons outside of the east coast and ivy league lifestyle and mindset, so shoutout to relentless socializing and everyone who was subject to it.

alcohol: I drank out of obligation in college and smoked weed for pleasure, but these days I'm not ingesting much THC at all and kind of loving alcohol. I think I forgot that drinking with people is genuinely hilarious, fun, and makes spending time with others easier. This makes it sound like I drink a lot when I really have like 3 drinks a week; I just mean that I really appreciate the social function it serves and the joy of imbibing together

my thesis: after submitting, I was sad with my time management over the final few weeks and really wished I had done a better job because I felt it could have been a lot stronger. But with some distance now, I think it's really cool that I found an academic niche that really suited what I loved to learn about and produced important original research on something that matters to me a lot. How cool is that?

no more leg/pit shaving: It was been truly pleasurable to see wayyy more women letting their leg hair, armpit hair and I presume bushes grow out on the west coast. Sometimes all it takes is some other people doing something for you to realize it's ok to do (a good general lesson!) and I am over leg and armpit shaving for now. It has been a great process to feel more acquainted with what my body hair does on its own and confront my own internalized misogyny when I sometimes catch my armpit hairs in the mirror wearing a tank top or worry about wearing a skirt. I realize I have it so easy in this department because my hair is light and most people don't notice. still, a revelation!

learning an instrument: I finally bought a guitar this past month and got an app that is teaching me to play. It scratches a long-untouched part of my brain (as in literally feels like scratching an itch inside my head). so empowering and fun to do something new from square 0

cuenca jacket: I love the jacket I got in high school for my uniform when studying abroad in ecuador so much and was just marveling at how weirdly good it is an how much it has stood the test of time for me. perfect design. I wrote it an ode.

workout classes: sometimes what you really need is a weird woman leading you through a yoga class in person, together with some other people you don't know.

deleting instagram/being a little mysterious: another psychic relief which is so obviously not good for me.

realizing the social stuntedness that comes with growing up rich: an overdue reckoning.

friendship: they call it the best ship, but to be honest I think I've neglected it over the years, often partial to romantic connections. as time goes on, cultivating friendships only seems to get harder to keep up at the same number and pace as was possible in school. Also, trying to make new friends from scratch leaves me feeling renewed gratitude for my friends.

volunteering: it is WILD to me that more people (especially in my situation in life (young professionals in new places with office jobs and no student loans)) don't do this more. I have spent the last few months volunteering on alternating saturdays at Creative Growth's youth program in oakland and my neighborhood church's Friday night meal which we serve to mostly unhoused people.

The first few weeks I caught myself feeling like it was just another job, but then I just remembered that I am electing to do this and it is such a powerful experience to get to know more communities around you and more people. I have loved getting to know the artists in CG's youth program, literally supporting their work and feeling inspired by what they create. It has also just been fun! Sometimes there's not a bigger lesson! I have loved finding a friend in a very old fellow church volunteer named Fredora; hearing about her life and laughing with her. There are so many ways to participate in community and while there's always something to critique about the ways nonprofits and churches give aid and do their work, for me the wonderful awkwardness of showing up somewhere just to show up and doing it over and over again has been a marvel.

mushrooms and korean food: yum. my palate has reached new heights because this is the year I finally started craving mushrooms and loving korean food. I also think it's the first time I've lived somewhere with great korean food.

the bay: the culture shock of the west coast has been wild, and I am enthralled with the megalopolis that all the cities around the bay make up. I am excited to keep taking it in.

tilden view: along with the culture shock, the natural beauty shock of the west coast seems to overwhelm my little bluegrass pea brain every. time. Recently I went on a bike ride as the sun was starting to set up in tilden park (about 2 miles from my house up the hills) and as I was climbing, every few hundred meters there was a new view and every time I looked back out at the expanse of the bay and layers of cities and hills, without fail, tears would just spring to my eyes. the perfection of beauty is creepy, like someone took what is most pleasing to a human and just turned it up to 100, but it also just knocks my socks off, and I can't stop feeling amazed by that.

cassis: Rex and I spent a few days in Cassis between our time in Venice this summer and visiting my family in Provence (what a sentence!) Anyway, it was one of those strange experiences which was so undeniably and unbelievably pleasant -- sopping up bouillabaisse with crisp bread, watching the french tourists amble in the heat, renting a dingy to cruise by the Calanques and their shimmering beauty, the outrageous sweetness of the sun setting from our Airbnb's window. We knew then, I think, just how good it was, and it is impossible not to feel a wave of fondness still for that perfect vacation.

stuff on the street: in berkeley and oakland people just leave stuff out for other to take. usually it's junk from their house or clothes or books, sometimes kitchen supplies or food they grew in their gardens. one of the reasons they do this is because it never rains and so people leave everything outside and have no awareness of the constant covering and protecting everyone does around the world instinctively. but it also has a wonderful feeling of people just turning out their pockets un-self consciously and I love looking at it

having love: really caring for people who aren't so much in your life is one of the best heart-achey good, sad feelings. shout out to my exes!

writing: I finally want to write again (see this blog etc.)- makes me feel like a kid and so good

worst person in the world: this movie is so good. I rewatched it later this year which I almost never do. just wonderful

Laguna Beach: this show is epically good. Never saw it when it aired and it is deeply curious and hilarious. on netflix now

lying: I've had a few lie-based evenings this year, and it's especially fun to do with someone else/new without any mean deception. It's good to try on different answers sometimes!

craigslist: always trawling. always a happy customer. best finds this year include my apartment and my cheap guitar.

anonymity: there has been so much freedom and free feeling leaving cambridge and a place where everywhere you went you were kind of seen. I've found it so much easier to trust that what I'm doing is really coming from me internally because there is no one to see it and have thoughts who knows me. I have slowly begun running into people who I know now when I'm out but man, what a blissful few months

babysitting: another fun way to get to know the people who fill the physical space around you, and to encounter child brain, which is always good. and you make some spending money. I am already sad that this is something that gets weird in a few years

landlords: landlords have gotten a bad rap this century and for good reason. but I love the strangeness of cohabitating with the weird hokey couple I live with and I especially love overhearing all their arguments. I know them intimately and not at all and venmo them at the end of every month and occupy their home! How weird and fun.

"how good is this?": saying this in an australian accent in my head a lot (see gratitude practice)

Debby ryan: Rex and I saw her on the beach in puerto rico. awesome.

[coetlin]

Here to post my goals for the #48HC challenge created by @zen-shu . But I feel like ending it after 3 days instead, idk.

What I’m bringing into my 3d:

Enrolled at my dream uni

Uni accommodation all sorted with me living somewhere gorgeous with genuinely kind and helpful housemates

My desired face, body, hair & especially teethh

Never having to give much thought for money but always having more than enough for anything I could possibly ever want

Effortlessly brilliant & articulate when I want to be

Easily make genuine, high quality friendships with great people wherever I go

New wardrobe

20/20 vision

Innately knowing the gender, case, and conjugation needed for any German word (bc I love language learning but I really don’t rock with this)

Me actually being a good writer

… and some other stuff I may get into once they manifest.

My methods:

Living in the end

Affirming whenever

Revising any memories that arise that don’t align with my desires

SATS/ daydreaming

‘Fake’ texts

My motivation:

My desires, which have already manifested in the 4D, are truth and life. Like it’s said in the song ‘Law of attraction’ by Kanye West (aka another book of the bible, duh): the words you speak, the thoughts you think, the scenes you imagine; all live and breath. They hold the power to make change. They are the living reality. They are the source of consciousness, the birthplace of ingenuity.

It’s important for the 4D to be contrasted with the 3D, which is also a reality, yes, but a dead reality nonetheless. The 3D is created by past thoughts, feelings, and imaginings, which regardless of their contents, were indiscriminately mirrored into the physical. The 3D plays no active role in the drama of creation. It has no impact whatsoever on the realness or validity of your desired reality. As long as you can imagine any aspect of your desired reality, it is real and it is yours.

If I could completely saturate my mind with one sensation and walk as though it were already a fact, I am promised that I do not need more than a three day diet if I remain faithful to it. But I must be honest about it. If I change my diet in the course of the day, I extend the time interval. — Neville Goddard

I’m going to go through whatever motions the 3D calls for but I won’t allow myself to give them much weight. If my thoughts or feelings are negatively impacted by my 3D, I’ll just affirm or revise or whatever.

End date: 29th July

Oh! And another part of my philosophy is influenced by the bible verse, Matthew 25:29:

For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.

This is just to remind me to be grateful for what I do have and notice how the things I already have in the 3d are closer to my desires than I realise. So I’m not seeing myself as “I’m ugly asf, always have been and kinda believe I always will be, but I want to be hot” but instead as “I’m already hot, it’s great but I want to be hotter. That’s no big deal”.

So yeahhh, los geht’s!

[captnjacksparrow]

I wish people would stop caring about the canon pairings and marriages in Naruto/Boruto because they should have absolutely no relevance for SNS shippers in terms of validating said ship. Those who say we are delusional because “Well, Naruto married Hinata so she is THE one he loves!” (I'll focus more on Naruto's marriage here... Is Sasuke's even a marriage?) simply don’t get that it just doesn't really matter who Naruto and Sasuke married because that in no way diminishes their feelings for each other. The main plot of the series revolves around the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. It is their story. They are each other's most important people and this was established back in Land of Waves arc even before the dramatic events that take place on the bridge - the whole point of that very first arc was making this a fact right from the beginning, because the story has always been and was always supposed to be about the two of them and the profound love and understanding that grows between them ever since they exchanged glances, smiles and pouts as lonely little broken kids. No reason to list all proof of their feelings and bond here, it has been done extensively, and if somebody watched the show/read the manga and missed it, they are missing half a brain. That these boys love each other more than anyone else is absolutely obvious.

So what about the canon pairings? Kishimoto stated time and time again that his focus was never romance, and that is not because he can't write romance as we know it (he clearly did), but it’s a matter of concept: what HE considers romance is the attraction that unites people with the purpose of marriage (confessing your romantic love for japanese people is the same as saying you want to be in a relationship, because feelings shouldn’t be voiced without an intention), and that, to him, is NOT the greatest expression of love, nor does it represent the most special bond two people can share.

It is understandable that westerners put so much weight into marriage because we consider it the epitome of love. Well, the truth is marriage in Japanese culture is mainly the only socially admissible means to have children and has very little to do with romantic love. In fact, in Japanese literature, it is much more common for unmarried couples to love each other than married ones. Obviously, there is no absolute truth when it comes to feelings and human relationships, what I'm doing here is generalising social norms and expectations (not exposing my opinion on them - that would turn this rant into something else entirely). A large number of Japanese marriages are loveless (and arranged, but no point getting into that either) and what motivates choosing a spouse is their ability to fulfill familial duties, meaning: is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? Is the man willing and capable of putting his occupation above everything else, working extremely hard and for long hours, with total dedication and diligence for his job, to the point of not even seeing his family most of the time, as an honorable man should do as a provider? That's what makes a GOOD married couple: two people following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family (again, please, this is not MY opinion!). What a Japanese man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children.

Do these descriptions ring any bells?

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true. Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it, and trying to discredit the obvious unmatched connection and feelings between two characters because they never got married to each other or married someone else is ludicrous. Yeah, a married couple can love each other deeply and above anyone else, but that is just not what marriage is ABOUT in Japanese culture and definitely not what Kishimoto wanted us to believe was the case here after dedicating 699 chapters to a story about the special bond between two boys that didn’t culminate in marriage. 

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Are more bells being rung?! 

Oh, some bonus info: We also tend to associate sex with romantic love. Well, Japanese married couples with children rarely have sex, if at all. After a woman becomes a mother, she is no longer considered sexually desirable and becomes a mother figure to her husband as well (what happened to Hinata’s big "attributes" in Boruto? Huh). This is especially true when couples sleep in separate rooms and the mother shares a bed with her children. (Hinata co-sleeps with Himawari and we know Naruto sleeps in a separate room. Just saying.)

What's your say?

Is Sasuke's even a marriage?

Geezz!!!! LoLLLLL!!!! This sentence just made me cackle so hard for a good 5 minutes, Anon!!!!!

Hmmm.... So let's get back to your ask.

Well, I don't know how to react to this ask, Anon. Because, I don't know whether you are from Japan or you have a very close Japanese friend who might've told you all these cultural thing about marriage and relationships.

So, what I am going to do is to analyze from the facts you have provided , combine with my own cultural relevance and provide my answer. If there is any Japanese readers who are reading this, you can confirm or dispel this by sending me an ask. But again, I don't want exceptional case like, 'No, my family is different'. I want to know about the general lifestyle of a common citizen and their married life.

Having said that, this ask made me just yell at myself, 'Goshh!!!! Seriously???'

Because whatever you said, It fucking exist in my country too and is still followed by almost 70% of people in my country and I absolutely detest it. That is,

Most of the marriages here are loveless nd arranged - Check

Is the woman good mother and consequently wife material? Is she going to devote her life to taking care of her children, house and husband, the noblest of acts for a female? - Check

People following their expected and strict gender-roles in a nuclear child-centered family - Check Check

What a man should want in a woman is for her to be a dedicated housewife and mother, since having children outside of marriage is not only frowned upon, it is not acceptable at all, and not being married with children is not respectable enough (same with being divorced). - Check Check

Marriage is, therefore, NOT a symbol of undying love and a deep and special connection between two people, rather, it’s a partnership established with the goal of having and raising children. - Awww!!! A million Check.

That's why I was envious of Western people in this aspect, because they have a freedom to choose their own partner without any time constraints and when they do, their marriage can be said to be 'The Epitome of Love'.

My parents marriage is also an arranged one. And whenever they have disagreement and that leads to verbal war, they let out this words, 'I'm here with you because of my 2 daughters otherwise I would've left you long back'. So... Yeah. Here, most of the marriages are child-centered. Again, it's not just my opinion. Majority of the arranged marriage based family revolve around their child.

And I was born, a year after my parents' marriage, and If I hadn't been born, then people will question my parent's fertility factor and start to discriminate them. So, I can boldly claim that, I was not born out of Love or something. I was born because of social obligations.

But it doesn't mean, my parents don't love each other now. How should I say???? It's like a Stockholm Syndrome??!!!! Like when you stay with a person for a long time, you will eventually start to develop some feelings over the course of the time. It took them 15 years to come to a complete understanding of each other. It's the same case with many couples here.

Considering all these, Sasuke never even stayed with Sakura enough to make her understand him, So I wonder what kind of couple are they????? Weird!!!!!

In conclusion: the pairings were, in fact, created for the sole purpose of bringing forth the next generation, and that was made CANONICALLY true.

Awww!!!! Man, Seriously???? I made this claim long back in this post where I said, these women were used as a tool to bring out Next Generation Kids. My claim was based on Analytical Perspective.

And then one of the rabid SS stan reblogged my post and pulled out a hetero card stating, 'They are married and blah blahh...' when in reality, I never discussed about their sexuality in that post. That post was purely based on the number of pages each hetero couples shared with each other against the number of pages Sasuke & Naruto shared together.

Now, you have provided a cultural perspective for those shitty canon pairings.

On one side, I feel the need to smirk, because I am right.

But on the other side, I feel bad like, 'Is this how, this show must go on?? What are you trying to convey from this?'.

You know what IS a symbol of romantic love in Japan? Being willing to die together when the love you feel goes against your moral obligations, holding on to the belief that you will be reunited in the afterlife, where you will be free of any burden and able to love freely.

Hmmm.... It's interesting to know this. Anon.

This is where it differs slightly in my country.

Romantic love here is,

No matter what happens, I'll stand with you, You are just not alone. I will leave my fucking clan, parents, relatives if they don't approve you and we will start a new life somewhere.

[[Here, marriages happen mostly between their clan members. If you love a person from another clan, you will be ostracized or tortured or honour killed by your very parents. It just differs from clan to clan. I was subjected to this same problem and that's why I hate my Clan and left my parents. And this is also one of the reason why I love Itachi. Because we share similar Ideals. That is, Not to be obsessed over your clan and think beyond this restriction.

Also, here in Asian Culture if someone is willing to leave their family (when they don’t approve you) and prefer you over everything.... It means.... that's some Love beyond Comprehension. Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his Family (like Sakura and Kakashi) and like to stand with Sasuke... Just like how Naruto was willing to leave his own family and go on a long mission with Sasuke]]

So does it remind you of anything?????

It's the whole SNS dynamics starting from their childhood to VoTE2. That's why I started to ship SNS, because it represents the true love we always wish for.

Would it have been better if they hadn’t gone down that "safe" route? Hell, yeah! It would have been fucking amazing and could even have been groundbraking, for several reasons. BUT as unsatisfying as it may be, the fact is they chose a very TRADITIONAL depiction of marriage that has little to do with feelings, and that in itself shouldn’t be taken lightly, since it leaves the strongest bond, which is grounded on genuine love, untouched. In this scenario, justifying romantic love through marriage alone won’t cut it

This is very true, Anon.

I mean, they don’t even have to take a groundbreaking route. 

They should have given everyone an open ending, just like Kishi left at chapter 699. What is the need of a marriage, if Naruto is going to adopt Kawaki??? If Orochimaru was going to create a Baby Artificially?? If Rock Lee is going to have a child out of nowhere???

But I am happy that SNS bond is the only one that wasn’t diminished in this hot mess called Burrito. So, atleast we should be happy about that.

When someone pulls the marriage card, I just block them immediately because they are not even worth having a good conversation. NH will pull out the Last movie and SS will pull out, ‘Sasuke called Sakura ‘My Wife’.... So, it’s just pointless.

So, to conclude

Considering my Analytical perspective, I already made earlier in other post and your ask which provides some insight about Japanese culture which eerily resembles the culture I belong to, It all makes sense that this whole pairings and trash is just for the sake of bringing out Next Generation series and those boys never loved those girls whole heartedly. And I agree with you on this.

[bidokja]

Would you recommend reading the LN or manga of sss class?

Short answer: Yes. :^)

Real (and long) answer: I'm always partial to reading web novels instead of/before manhwas, but in this case the score is a bit more even. Still, I'd choose the novel if I was going to keep up with just one. Not because it's further along or easier for me to immerse myself in (though that's definitely a plus), but because it's got some of the most genuinely achingly beautiful writing I've read. Also, I'm the type that paints a picture of what I'm reading in my head so that can directly conflict with the manhwa/comic sometimes. It's MY mind's eye and I get to choose the atmospheric vibes...People say "a picture is worth a thousand words" but I honestly think that depends on the picture and the words, and the SSSRH web novel is extremely good at making use of emotionally impactful imagery and symbolism.

It also helps that the web novel translator(s) do an amazing job. They know how to strike a balance and keep things immersive for English readers while still keeping true to important cultural context. All too often translators will focus too much on one aspect of translation rather than striking a balance. They'll try and be as one-to-one word-for-word accurate as possible, but this will inevitably break immersion with both the need for a ton of footnotes to explain what the original phrase is supposed to convey and the fact that languages will always end up sounding disjointed when you try and do that. They don't flow as naturally as they would in their original syntax if you just go one word or sentence at a time and connect the dots. There's also some who try and make things...not quite anglicized (though some also do that) but definitely Westernized. They'll completely switch out cultural references and idioms and names in an attempt to make things flow easier for a Western/English-based audience, but this ends up neglecting or outright omitting important depth and context (for emotional impact, character motivation, plot choices, etc) that can only come from properly conveying the impact and intent from the culture of origin. The translator(s) for SSSRH know when to focus on flow and when to focus on impact, and how to properly merge the two.

Even if the translator was bad or it was copy-paste MTL-ed though, I think the writing would still shine through, especially in specific moments. Like. It's just that good. It makes me go a little insane with just how well the writer conveys the emotions carried in each scene.

...ANYWAYS. All of that being said, the manhwa does a wonderful job of making scenes Hit exactly when they're supposed to. It stays true to the web novel while bringing in the unique advantages of a visual medium. It's more concise due to several sentences or even paragraphs being conveyed in single panels at times, but it knows when to slow down and let things sink in so you can feel the weight. The art style is also really nice and easy to follow, and matches the vibes of the series fairly well! I give it a 4/5, but that is 1000% only because I've been spoiled by Villain Initialization's art style and downright inventive paneling, so I can't bring myself to give anything else a 5/5 in that department. (Sorry for boosting my niche manhua obsession on an SSSRH post 😔😔😔). PLUS not everyone does the mind's eye thing, so the text-based medium of the novel could hold less appeal due to that, and the manhwa would be much more immersive of an experience!

TL;DR: I prefer the novel, but it's up to your preferences, really! This is one case where the different versions are pretty on par with each other. I am sorry I went on and on only to say this in the end..hsjdhsk

[fondwitch]

So I haven't really posted about it much but I have to say how ridiculously happy I am that I lost 16 lbs over the last 3 months!

I started on August 1st. My sister had used an app called iTrackBites in 2019 and I was desperate to try something new so I recalled that she had used that one. I have only really had success losing weight when I have counted calories in the past, but I have tried several times to do that in the last two years and I just did not have the energy or motivation for it. It's just too....nitpicky. So anyway I thought I would try that app.

And I am having so much success with it! It is basically a generic version of Weight Watchers. I think people have told me WW is like $20-30 a month, but this app is only $30 for an entire year! (and I believe you can use a free version of the app) You have access to recipe building and other things when you purchase the annual subscription.

Anyway, I just had to shout it into the void that I am feeling so good. My body/health feels so much better and yes, I feel so much better in my clothes. I started at 140 lbs but I am 4'10" (I'm petite!) so that is actually decently overweight for that height! I am now down to 124 lbs and I am just....so happy..

My total goal is 30 lbs down so I'm just over half way, but honestly I feel so good right now, that for me, maintaining my current weight would be just fine with me, any more loss feels like a bonus. Probably my lowest weight was 106 lbs back in 2010. I worked out a lot back then and was super fit. I would be thrilled to get to 110 lbs, but again, I'm super happy at 124.

I also marvel at the fact that I achieved a 16lbs loss just from watching what I eat. Lots of "no sugar added" and light items. No exercise! Well extra anyway, I do typically get 10k steps in a day, but that is just through normal doing stuff around the house etc.

Anyway, the main thing I want to say is that...this time feels different. When I lost weight in the past, it was like...super quick, hardcore diet and exercise and to goal weight in 2 months....but then it wouldn't last because I did it so quickly and didn't create a new "normal". This time I feel like I am. It's been 3 months (almost) and when I don't lose any weight some weeks I am just happy to know that I have maintained. And when I have a couple days of eating more than I should, I get back on track and find that that day or two of bad eating didn't affect my actual weight loss (it's been a real lesson discovering that!) I used to beat myself up so bad if I would have days that I ate more than I should etc, but I have realized now that the most important thing is enjoying those days, and hopping back on track the next day as if nothing happened, it genuinely has not affected my overall weight loss.

I know I am blathering on but I just needed to talk about it, because I'm healthier, I look better and I'm so so happy!

[btswishes]

BTS: Reaction to their 16 year old sister not eating enough to lose weight.

A/N:  This is something I don’t recommend anyone doing. Take it as experience from someone who was in that hole. No matter what anyone tells you, you are beautiful and gorgeous. You don’t have to look like anyone else because you are one of a kind. Stay like that. :)

Requested by:  Anonymous 

Request: “  Hello! Can you do a bts reaction to their 16 year old sister being insecure and not eating much to lose weight? Thank you💜 “

                       -----------------------------------------------------------

Jin:

  Jin will try to cook for you the best meals he can think of and find. He will make sure they are healthy and full of nutrients, that they are super tasty, filling and new. “These are all healthy, have plenty vegetables, so you don’t have to worry about anything. You are just 16, I was your age too thinking of stuff like that. Beauty standards are a lie sweetie, you are beautiful by being unique. We will start slow, eat as much as you can now and we will work our way up till you are comfortable. Oppa is with with you, since day one and till day 0.”

Min Yoongi:

  Yoongi is one to observe quietly, but never late to react when the situation is important. And this one was of the highest priority to him, since it was about his darling sister. He would wait for your parents to leave the house and sit down next to you. 

  “Hey there. Are you hungry?” once you say no, he will comment how skinny you have gotten “ Look, I know what you are doing. I am not here to yell or get angry at you. It’s not your fault princess and don’t feel weak for not being able to control it. Things like these happen to the best of us, we are humans. It might be hard to ask for help or open up about it now, but you know I am here for you. “ he would pull out his car keys “How about we go get some milk tea and maybe a cookie or few if you are in the mood? You can get the drink only if you want to, no need to force yourself. If you want to getting something else, tell me. Big bro makes too much money and he can’t use it all up, so you have to help me out. Ok?”

Jung Hoseok: 

  Hoseok is a happy and go lucky boy. He has hard times ,but for the people around himself he wants to be that pill of happiness and motivation. Hobbi would pull you onto his lap and run his hand through your hair “How is my little princess doing? Is she happy? Does she need some love from her brother?” he would rub his head onto you “There, transferred some.Did you get it yet?” Hoseok won’t stop till you giggle “ There is that sweet voice I wanted to hear. What has you feeling like this my little angel? Ah, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel ready. We have all the time in the world, so take as much as you need.” his hand would pull your head onto his chest “You know, you were a picky eater since a little bean. I remember cutting myself, making characters out of your food. You seemed to eat it only like that. If you ever feel like you cant do something, come find me.I will always make it fun for the most beautiful and unique princess in the world. How about big bro makes you some fun snacks? We can eat them together and watch a good movie?”

Kim Namjoon:

  Joon is one to do his research before engaging in a talk with you. He would look up all he can find about these situations and what the proper way to handle them would be. “ I got this snack today and I couldn’t finish it by myself. Would you like some?” your eyes scanned it fast and hesitated. It looked delicious but the thoughts were eating you up from the inside “The weather seems nice today, how about we go take a walk while you snack on this? Get in a bit of exercise.” those words hooked you and you agreed in seconds. The sun shined on your skin softly as you were genuinely enjoying the food “ Do you see that tree? It’s pretty isn’t it.” you agreed with your big brother “What if I told you that people don’t think it is.” your eyebrows frowned as you spoke “ But it’s too young to tell, I am sure when it grows more it will have beautiful flowers or fruits.” Namjoon knelt next to you, running his hand over your cheek “ The same way you are the only one who can see the true beauty the tree is hiding, I do too. You are my tiny little tree, I want to keep you safe and make sure you grow up strong. Don’t try to look like other plants.” his finger tapped your chest “You carry your own beauty right in here. You might not see it but with time you will be able to see what has been in front of my eyes. You might find it difficult right now, but reach out to me when you feel down, don’t do this to yourself. I am always here for my princess.”

Park Jimin:

  Jimin is special in this situation. As someone with body-dysmorphia, he would notice your behavior fast. The same signs he showed, the same habits that took him ages to get rid off. He knows oh to well how fast one could fall into that abyss. Jimin wanted to stop this as soon as possible. After he notices things getting bad ,he would walk into your room with some food. When you lie to him about having eaten Jimin would drop the plate on the floor, tears pooling in his eyes. “B-brother?” His knees hitting the floor, hands gripping onto yours as his eyes look up at you “I know I should be your role model, I know oh too well. I failed myself once, I don’t want you to do the same. Please baby girl don’t look at the fashion trends or people that tell you looking one way is the norm.It’s NOT, it will never be. You are so young, so pretty and so smart. I don’t want you to be in the same dark hole I was in. You are worth so much more. It starts with eating less and less, then the regret hits, the fear, the anxiety. It eats you up my angel. I beg of you, don’t do it. Believe in me, let me help you. Please.” seeing your brother cry like this, hearing the words coming from the depths of his heart ,made you cry as you reached out for a piece of fruit he brought for you.

Kim Taehyung:

 Tae likes to laugh, giggle make all kinds of jokes.But in this situation his mind just went blank with panic. He didnt know what to say or do, even though he wanted to immediately. His mind wandered for days until something came up in his mind. “Y/N, get dressed we are going out.” you didn’t know what was happening, but you followed your brother “Where are we going?”you skipped next to him ”To a fashion show.” and he was honest. There were all kinds of people there and you were amazed. The models walked passed you one by one. After it was all over ,Tae grabbed your hand and pulled you backstage. He looked at your shining eyes “What do you see honey?” “Diversity.” came out of your lips “Dark skin, light skin, mixed, curvy or skinny, tall or short, man or women. No one here is the same, but they are all beautiful. Just like you.”He waved at a woman that smiled back brightly and ran over “Hey Yana, this my little sister. The one I told you about.” the woman’s skin softly tinted as dark coffee, she was shining brighter than any diamond. Curves for days and a smile such as the stars. “Oh my I was about to say she is too pretty to be your sister. Want a cookie honey?” you hesitated, but Yana put it in your hand “You need to eat something sweetie there is more don’t even worry about it. You want they say thick thighs save lives.You need to eat to  able to save. Come I will introduce you to everyone else.” They all looked different and beautiful, just like you.

Jungkook:

 Jungkook comes off aggressive at times, but in this situation he would do what he things is best and ask his hyungs for help. He would want all the help he can get. Namjoon will gather info, Hobi, Jungkook and Tae would try to show you the beauty in everything. Jimin with his experience. Suga and Jin would be a tag duo. At the end of the day all 7 of them will be with you no matter what. “Hey, mind if I sit here?” Kookie would push you a bit to the side and plop himself next to you on the couch “ I know I sometimes don’t have much time to spend with you. I just want you to know that no matter what I will first and forever be your big brother. I don’t know if someone told you something, but the Jeon genes are too strong so people get jealous of our beauty and strength. My words sound out of the blue right now, but I hope you would remember them when you look in the mirror next time. It’s not just me that sees this, ask anyone from bangtan and they will agree with me. You look like this because all these features look the best on you and only my pretty little princess. You are my special little sister, when people finally notice how gorgeous and kind you are, I will have to beat them up.” his words made you giggle “I mean it! No boys even after 50!” Jungkook swung a punch in the air “Brother!” 

[rockofeye]

It’s Kouzen Season: More about Kouzen Zaka and His Family

As I wrote recently, the month of May is a special time for Kouzen and his family. Kouzen’s fet/feast day is May 1 and May 2, but fetes for Kouzen are held all through the month of May in Haiti and the Dyaspora.

In English, ‘kouzen’ translates to cousin and is a title that we address Kouzen as. He comes with a lot of different names: Azaka Mede, Azaka/Zaka Si, Azaka/Zaka La, Zaka Krib, Zaka Toné, Kouzen Mòn, and many others. He also is very, very close with his wife Kouzin, and there are a whole variety of children in fanmi Kouzen as well.

Kouzen is most well known as the minister of agriculture and work, and this is reflected in how we address him sometimes as Minis/Minister. He is vital to life in Haiti, as it is him that makes the crops grow and ensures there is enough food for the lakou to survive, as well as oversees business and money. It’s often said that even Haitians who don’t serve the lwa always give for Kouzen, because he determines success or failure and can answer hunger.

In some ways, he is also the living memory of Haiti; he carries the weight and knowledge of subsistence farming and how to survive with very little. He is a master medsin fèy (literally ‘leaf medicine’, refers to a practioner of bush medicine), and is often called upon to treat illness especially for folks who can’t afford a Western doctor or even a medsin fèy in the community. He is the reminder of where many Haitians come from and what Haiti used to be: a more rural island where farming and agriculture ruled over most other businesses. It’s not a coincidence that his month of May is also Haitian Heritage Month.

He is often referred to as a lwa travay/work lwa for his indefatigable work ethic. Kouzen knows what it is to be hungry and to suffer, so he is working all the time to make sure he never has to suffer again and that his family and those that he loves don’t suffer either. His fetes are often utilized as means to determine how the next year will go; if Kouzen comes happy and enjoys himself and eats, it will probably be a good year with normal challenges. If he comes angry or upset and refuses his food and the special marketplaces made for him, that’s potentially a forewarning that there are difficulties ahead and a lot of work goes into appeasing Kouzen to change the flow of luck.

Kouzen is also intimately involved in things like immigration. He can help (or harm!) an immigration process, and can be a huge ally in getting those papers moving. 

He is always very concerned about being taken advantage of. He comes as a poor peasant, and so folks often underestimate him or try to rip him off when he loans money or offers a good deal. He is incredibly sensitive to this and is paranoid that someone will steal from him. It’s not unusual for him to arrive at his fet and unpack his makout to make sure everything that was there last time he came is still there. He’ll count crumbs. Anything missing will need to be accounted for.

A well-known story from communities I am close to tells of a time when someone did a maryaj lwa in a temple and had brought things from their own table at home to place on the table built for the ceremony. When packing up at the end of the night, someone mistakenly packed the bottle of Kouzen’s liquor that belonged to the temple in the makout of the Kouzen the person married. It went unnoticed until that temple’s fet Kouzen rolled around.

Kouzen arrived and found that his bottle was not in his bag. He asked for it and when it could not be found, sat down on the floor and cried. He refused to let anything else happen until his bottle was located. Some fast thinking and a lot of luck had the person who did the maryaj at the fet and they had a eureka moment and drove home quickly. She lived locally (thank everything) and soon returned to the fet with the bottle. Kouzen had to be consoled and many promises and assurances made because even though the bottle had been returned and it was a genuine error and not a theft, he was so upset that his things had been taken.

He is an expert deal maker that negotiates for his best interests. Something common at most fet Kouzens is that a marketplace will be set up for him. It’s usually a large layout of fruits, vegetables, and maybe some special items for him to look over and offer up for sale. He is very, very shrewd and downright stingy. I’ve seen him refuse to select what he is willing to sell until someone presents him with money, and then he will pick what he thinks is a fair exchange. One evening, I watched someone give him a $20 bill, and he looked for a moment, selected a banan/plantain, and snapped it in half. He gave one half to the person who had paid him $20. 

He’ll often walk around holding his chapo/hat and asking for money. Most folks will come prepared with a little cash in their pocket, but pity the person who brings their wallet. Someone had the misfortune of coming to Kouzen’s fet with a significant amount of their rent money in their wallet. Kouzen asked him for money, and when he took out his wallet and opened it, Kouzen reached in and took all the cash. He refused to give it back, and so that person made a nice gift (willing or otherwise) of several hundred dollars.

It’s often said that Kouzen is the one who works and it’s his wife Kouzin who manages the money. Kouzen may want to account for every dollar, but it is Kouzin who keeps track of where it all goes. 

Folks always make him out to be greedy, full stop, and he certainly can be, but as Kouzen has known suffering he can also be very generous. I’ve watched him give money to people who were in great need and clearly say that he only needs to be remembered each week and that they don’t need to pay him back. I’ve seen him loan money to people in dire circumstances (but that money better be paid back on the terms he negotiated). 

One of the most poignant moments I’ve seen with Kouzen came at his fet when someone who had sacrificed a lot to be there came to talk with him and brought him a little money. They had been struggling with finding work for a little while, and so it was a really hard trip as they did not live locally. Kouzen refused their money and told them to keep it, because he knew they needed it. Some folks thought that was extremely negative coming from Kouzen, but it was a gift. He followed up by giving them a specific lamp recipe to find work, and less than a month later that person had a job.

With all of these very important things on his shoulders and in his makout, you’d think Kouzen would come as something other than a peasant...but he doesn’t. I think that’s really important because it reinforces how close Kouzen and all the lwa are to us; even the ones who are literal royalty.

For me, in addition to all of the above, I also experience Kouzen as a source of a lot of creativity and creative drive. My relationship has developed in such a way that he oversees a lot of my art and art practice. He doesn’t care so much what kind of art or if it even turns out good, but more that I do it and keep my hands moving because that’s good for me. He has definitely been the push to put some paint on paper or beads on fabric when I really don’t want to or don’t have any internal motivation. I will feel him eyeing me and I’ll drag myself to my studio space and do something. Or, if I’m really too busy to make art or there’s some other barrier to me actually sitting down, he’ll push me to resolve it so I have space to get my hands dirty.

In terms of what someone could do for Kouzen without getting into trouble or having him be upset is to do charity in his name. If you can, donate money to a cause that supports providing for folks who are hungry, that supports agriculture that supports self sufficiency in developing countries, or even that aids folks who are homeless or unhoused. If you can donate your time and labor, even better! Kouzen values labor and hard work, and there are plenty of places that need help these days: packing food at food pantries, distributing and delivering meals, volunteering to serve meals in homeless shelters, even volunteering to help vaccine efforts would be looked on favorably by him, as it assures further survival.

I caution folks against preparing food for Kouzen without guidance; even looking at his food in the wrong way or thinking it’s delicious can make him upset and jealous, and he’ll refuse it or spoil it. There’s specific ways to even taste his food for seasoning to make sure it will taste good...don’t risk it!

I hope this is helpful; please let me know if there are questions.