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#i SWEAR im not its just a genuine difference from person to person so obviously thatll affect ppls preferences fhsjdjd
faggy--butch · 6 months
Note
sorry to ramble in your inbox but its kinda fucking me up how "trans man with a cishet boyfriend who misgenders him behind his back" is like seen to be a person to make fun of in the general queer tumblr space instead of a person who is in a vulnerable situation. i know that there is trans men who are also women and there are trans men who are genuinely okay with dating a cis man who considers himself straight but people talking about these hypothetical couples arent talking about these situations but rather about "haha stupid trans man doesnt realize hes dating a bigot"
theres this attitude that the hypothetical cishet boyfriend is actually a conservative so it should be obvious to trans man that he doesnt respect his identity but i feel like its less "oh its obvious that this specific man is a bigot" and more "obviously cishet white men are bigots" and its weird how people laugh at this person instead of acknowledging that even if you are dating a bigot its usually not a big win for you personally. like the bigot cishet boyfriend isnt going to be okay with his trans man boyfriend starting testosterone. like we can sympathize with emotional abuse happening towards other groups but when its gay and mspec trans men its like "oh he should have known that would happen" or "its his fault for dating a bigot"?
of course people have the same making fun of the victim narrative with afab nonbinary people who date cishet men who misgender them [and im sure this bleeds over to affecting all nonbinary people if people arbitrarily decide theyre afab if the nonbinary person refuses to tell them personal information about themselves but the larger narrative always specifies that this is an afab person] and its almost like a "this is what you get for being attracted to men" sort of thing.
and also i theres something to be said about warning people for signs their partner or potential partner doesnt respect their identity but considering i imagine its a common anxiety among trans and nonbinary people who are into that sorta thing to wonder "am i ever going to find someone who loves me and is also accepting of me for being [insert gender here]?" its sort of fucked up for it to be common to basically claim "yea if youre dating a cis man who said he was straight before he started dating you but says he respects your identity hes probably just straight up lying to your face" and then laugh at the person getting misgendered for not knowing they were being misgendered.
anyway sorry for this big ramble i cant even remember specific instances of this to reference so i might seem like im making up a guy to be mad at but i swear this is like a general attitude and almost running joke i see around. anyway. have a good day.
I absolutely see that too, and I think it's a mixture of straight up victim blaming, because oh noo how dare you WANT to date *gasp* cis men
but it come with an intense transandrophobia and exorsexism because there's a lot more sympathy when it comes to cis women dating cishet men "poor things uwu" but when it's trans men or in this case non binary people assumed to be women, it's always "see I told you so" smug superiority. (cis women get this too, because of misogyny obviously, but it's different and worse for trans men) People are just waiting for a chance to be misogynistic and trans men are an acceptable target. This is honestly extra fucked up when we remember that trans men experience some of the highest rates of domestic violence and rape in the community though.
being trans is such a vulnerable place to be in, and a lot of people, trans or not are insecure or just want to be loved, that's normal. A lot of people are willing to accept certain behaviors from their partners that are bad, because of those reasons as well, victim blaming, and ESPECIALLy telling trans men to toughen up or "what did you expect" is apart of the toxic expectations that get placed of trans men as well. I could honestly go on for hours about this. good ask,anon
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txttletale · 1 year
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this is a question that on other blogs would likely get me exploded with hammers but you seem nice and i swear im just genuinely just trying to understand, but do you have any thoughts on why marxist-leninists are so dismissive of anarchists?
first of all i'd like to preface that i think that marxist-leninists being dismissive of anarchists (and conversely anarchists hollering about evil tankies) is something that is much more common among Posters Online than among people of either political persuasion who are actually meaningfully involved in communist organization -- if 'anarchist' or 'Marxist-Leninist' is primarily an online identity to you, then you're likely to want to signal that identity by loudly and pointlessly disdaining a designated out-group -- if anarchist or marxist-leninst praxis is something you actually do, you will quickly realize, however much you disagree or even dislike the other tendency, that for most practical purposes you will be much served working together when it comes to any anticapitalist or antifascist action.
secondly i'd also like to add that i, personally, am much more tolerant of anarchists than most marxist-leninists even by the standards of actual organizing. i have mutuals, friends, and comrades who are anarchists -- while i believe that the differences between marxism-leninism and anarchism are irreconcilable in a revolutionary situation, i believe that in the vast majority of the world the situation is so far from revolutionary that there is no material or practical conflicts between marxist-leninists and what lenin called "the best of the anarchists". many anarchists have made incisive and useful critiques of capitalism and even of socialist projects (even though i think those critiques are weakened by the anarchist inability to provide a viable alternative).
all that out of the way, here are some problems that i (and other marxist-leninists) have with anarchists:
#1: class-blind & idealistic theoretical frameworks. a lot of anarchists tend to view political systems and articulate criticisms in terms of extremely abstract ideas about 'power', 'authority', and 'hierarchy'. this flattens a lot of substantially different class relationships into broad and inexact categories such as 'domination' -- the result of this is that anarchists lose sight of class relations and the material basis from which power emerges and is maintained. often they will psychologize these elements, explaining systems and the way they function by projecting a psychoanalytical framework onto the holders of power. i find these analyses usually produce incoherent and politically useless truisms. being based purely on ideals and not on materialism leads a lot of these anarchist suppositions to tie themselves into knots -- as engels said, "a revolution is the most authoritarian thing there is", yet many anarchists are revolutionary (supporting the violent seizure of power from the bourgeoisie) but viciously opposed to the DoTP (the violent maintenance of power over the bourgeoisie), with the imo totally incoherent rationale that the latter is 'authoritarian' while the former is not.
#2: individualism. anarchists are generally very concerned with 'individual freedoms' and the importance of the individual as a political unit -- as i often say on this blog, i deny the individual as a meaningful political unit. to me 'liberation' means the working class as a whole being able to live comfortably without the threat of death hanging over their heads if they fail to sell their labour -- 'freedom' is only meaningfully possible when there is a liberation of the working class in totality. in its worst manifestation, this leads a lot of anarchists to totally reject the concept of socially necessary labour or the need for labour to be organised at all (cf. this meme)
#3: the cult of spontaneity. anarchists (obviously) do not believe in centralised organisations. i think, frankly, this is silly, because centralised organisations are the only body capable of mobilizing the working class to mass action. without centralisation, it's impossible to coordinate and act in unison -- that is, to do the very things that make any revolutionary action feasible at all. the revolutionary strategy of simply waiting for the people to 'spontaneously' rise up and install communism because they have all separately decided to is one that's, quite simply, fantastical and has no basis in reality. this holds true for action that falls short of 'armed revolution' too -- to be effective and replicable, direct action needs to be planned, deliberate, and coordinated, and this just isn't possible without an organizing body.
#4: repeating imperialist talking points. now this is not true of all anarchists -- there are lots of principled anti-imperialist anarchists in the world. however, there are also a lot of anarchists who will engage in borderline apologia for US imperialism, who will parrot lines about 'dictators' and 'totalitarian regimes', who refuse to oppose US imperialism because 'all states are the same'. this ultimately (in the most charitable interpretation) stems from #1, where the choice of whether or not to oppose US imperialism is seen mostly as a personal idealistic moral choice (decide What Is Good and What Is Bad) rather than a material choice about what political action can be taken. and of course there are many valuable critiques to be made of the USSR's many failures, and some of these critiques have been made by anarchists -- but some anarchists will descend to Black Book of Communism levels in an attempt to get one in on a strawman of 'Stalinism'
if you want a more detailed in-depth criticism of anarchism from a marxist-leninist perspective that i mostly agree with, this medium article is fantastic. but these four reasons are the main ones i -- while not dismissive of anarchists -- am not an anarchist and generally disagree with anarchist theory.
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butchviking · 2 years
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besides the nazis I do also have a MUCH LESSER beef with the Norse-larping/identifying white people who really do give me the “thinks they suffer the same way indigenous people suffer from the Christian white hegemony” and “thinks this opts them out of being realllly settler colonists… if you think about it…. They have an indigenous white(tm) set of beliefs” that are super true and extra spiritual and in harmony and then they pretend they can even know that. When I’m sorry — I truly am sorry — some ancient people in Europe did experience conquest by (also pagan, then Christian, Rome) and shit and they can empathize with that… but it doesn’t mean that “really” “if we think about it” any rando modern white nonindigenous (eg not Samí) person anywhere has comparable heritage or trauma or persecution around it. You can just feel they want to claim that. Sometimes they do word for word.
And i swear it’s niche. It’s not even the main motive most people have. but it’s around. I classify it as more of a whites irritating me shit than a big issue but that doesn’t mean I don’t see it for what it is.
man people have forgotten what the acronym LARP means. norse larpers are very cool & fun in my experience ✌️ i love larp i love silly little outfits i love people being so passionate abt smthn they immerse themselves in a whole world of it i love that they always have smthn cool to teach. everyone stop misusing larp its gotten weird and confusing
this is so wild tho i think ive like. never come across this type of person. i guess it must be niche cause i don't even know if u mean like. europeans or americans or scandinavians or the english or what. i mean i guess ive come across plenty of pagans (& non-pagans tbh) of all sorts who bang on about how christians 'stole' this holiday or that holiday from 'the pagans' which comes from some basis of truth and the christians did fucked up shit to a lot of different cultures.. but i kind of roll my eyes at it bc it doesnt usually come from much actual knowledge or persecution & more just, like u say, wanting to claim an experience. so im with u as far as that. but u gotta be crazy to think being of viking descent would somehow mean u have no history of invading or settling places that didn't want u like... our word for them literally comes from the word specifically for those who would travel overseas to raid & settle there. like im from the uk so i can't imagine how that would work bc anyone here of viking descent (i Will be that guy nd say its technically in my past somewhere too lol ✌️ according to my grandmother & also according the the family surname. but thats really common where im from we got decent viking history) is obviously not indigenous (we dont like. have indigenous ppl here anymore really except perhaps the cornish) nd any white americans have settler/coloniser history much more recently anyway. ive never known any scandinavians who try n make out like their history is one of particular repression (i have not known very many scandinavians) but tbh like. yeah they were severely fucked over by the christians that did happen. as far as im aware most scandinavians are indigenous as i understand the word (their ancestors didnt move in any time recently & have pretty much always lived there) but aren't like. oppressed for that. & the christians did genuinely oppress ppl in their act of christianisation but that was... a long time ago so most ppl don't exactly have any claim to 'trauma' from it. but then, there probably are a lot of modern ásatrúar who are probably still somewhat religiously repressed in their home country which is definitely a bad thing & is clearly a hang-over from that time & from that christian mindset that everyone must be like them & worship the same god as them. but its very very different to struggles of ppl like the sámi.
sry for just kind of thinking aloud here but as i say i don't think ive come across the ppl ur talking abt, so much so that i dont know. who u are talking about. other than the generic annoying 'pagan' types but i havent rly known any actual heathens who do that. other than the nazis.
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bidokja · 2 years
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Would you recommend reading the LN or manga of sss class?
Short answer: Yes. :^)
Real (and long) answer: I'm always partial to reading web novels instead of/before manhwas, but in this case the score is a bit more even. Still, I'd choose the novel if I was going to keep up with just one. Not because it's further along or easier for me to immerse myself in (though that's definitely a plus), but because it's got some of the most genuinely achingly beautiful writing I've read. Also, I'm the type that paints a picture of what I'm reading in my head so that can directly conflict with the manhwa/comic sometimes. It's MY mind's eye and I get to choose the atmospheric vibes...People say "a picture is worth a thousand words" but I honestly think that depends on the picture and the words, and the SSSRH web novel is extremely good at making use of emotionally impactful imagery and symbolism.
It also helps that the web novel translator(s) do an amazing job. They know how to strike a balance and keep things immersive for English readers while still keeping true to important cultural context. All too often translators will focus too much on one aspect of translation rather than striking a balance. They'll try and be as one-to-one word-for-word accurate as possible, but this will inevitably break immersion with both the need for a ton of footnotes to explain what the original phrase is supposed to convey and the fact that languages will always end up sounding disjointed when you try and do that. They don't flow as naturally as they would in their original syntax if you just go one word or sentence at a time and connect the dots. There's also some who try and make things...not quite anglicized (though some also do that) but definitely Westernized. They'll completely switch out cultural references and idioms and names in an attempt to make things flow easier for a Western/English-based audience, but this ends up neglecting or outright omitting important depth and context (for emotional impact, character motivation, plot choices, etc) that can only come from properly conveying the impact and intent from the culture of origin. The translator(s) for SSSRH know when to focus on flow and when to focus on impact, and how to properly merge the two.
Even if the translator was bad or it was copy-paste MTL-ed though, I think the writing would still shine through, especially in specific moments. Like. It's just that good. It makes me go a little insane with just how well the writer conveys the emotions carried in each scene.
...ANYWAYS. All of that being said, the manhwa does a wonderful job of making scenes Hit exactly when they're supposed to. It stays true to the web novel while bringing in the unique advantages of a visual medium. It's more concise due to several sentences or even paragraphs being conveyed in single panels at times, but it knows when to slow down and let things sink in so you can feel the weight. The art style is also really nice and easy to follow, and matches the vibes of the series fairly well! I give it a 4/5, but that is 1000% only because I've been spoiled by Villain Initialization's art style and downright inventive paneling, so I can't bring myself to give anything else a 5/5 in that department. (Sorry for boosting my niche manhua obsession on an SSSRH post 😔😔😔). PLUS not everyone does the mind's eye thing, so the text-based medium of the novel could hold less appeal due to that, and the manhwa would be much more immersive of an experience!
TL;DR: I prefer the novel, but it's up to your preferences, really! This is one case where the different versions are pretty on par with each other. I am sorry I went on and on only to say this in the end..hsjdhsk
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nyeddleblog · 3 years
Text
It's Always the Quiet Ones. [Part 1]
Pairing: Andrew! Peter Parker x Fem!Reader.
Warnings: Some swearing, reader being a little bit rude, no smut (yet).
Request: 1. HI HI DO YOU STILL TAKES REQUESTSS?? cuz im so down for andrew's peter parker smut where he can sense y/n being turned on and w3t bc of his spidey senses? And its like all hot and dom stuff its okay if you dont write smuts or this tho just ignore itt 🙂🙂
2. Okay since you said we could request anything for any Peter Parker so I’m gonna ask you to write a Andrew Garfield‘s Peter Parker/Spider-Man Smut (if you’re comfortable with that ofc!!) a smut where he definitely knows what he wants, lots of dirty talk maybe something like enemies to lovers (like the reader and Peter can’t stand each other and are always arguing and stuff like that) maybe also semi-public smut but like I said only if you’re comfortable with that!!<3 anyways I would appreciate if you could do something like that, thank you!!
3. Can you make a Andrew's Peter Parker....Reader is Peter's girlfriend.... She seems innocent, turns out y/n loves lots of kinky stuff....
Peter discovers her kinks for bondage etc., by looking at her laptop....
Peter plans for the big night to have a kinky sex instead of using rope... He uses his webshooters!
Summary: Peter and you weren't friends, but you definitely loved arguing.
NEXT PART.
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Peter wasn't reliable.
You remembered all of those times when, in high school, your teacher would pair you up together for a school project, and he'd always show up late; always busy, always running, always apologizing.
And then, when you had made the great majority of the work, ready to call it yours, he'd have the audacity to come over the day before the deadline and correct you, being a smart-ass with his asshole comments.
So when he sat right next to you on your shared subject in college, you couldn't help but sigh, loudly.
He noticed, obviously.
"Ah, yes; always happy to see you" Peter seemed relieved by your presence, as if your expression was also of companionship.
Maybe you would come off as mean, but you couldn't help saying:
"Shut up, Parker"
Offended by your answer, the boy opened his mouth to differ, but the lack of time between his thought process and the beginning of the teacher's speech left him cut short. You genuinely weren't willing to talk.
And so, as the class begun, you could feel his constant, and rather annoying, stare. He was waiting for some kind of explanation.
In his eyes, you used to be a sweet classmate that would always save his ass on every school project. He trusted you, he thought you were intelligent and he definitely thought you were cute.
He probably would've had asked you out if it weren't for the way you'd only focus on your studies, and how clear you had made it to everyone that you weren't interested in dating.
However, he really thought you were both on the same page, and that the respect was mutual.
So he was surprised to realize that you had become this rude person who wouldn't even take the time to greet him. Did getting into college make you an asshole, or were you always like this and he had never realized?
You stood up from your seat once the class had finished, and the mix of curiosity and need for approval took over him. He needed to know.
"Hey, wait up!"
You tried to ignore him, he noticed by the way you froze for a second before returning to your walk. He softly grabbed your hand and spoke:
"Please, wait."
"Do you need help with your assignment?"
"What...? No, no! I just, I wanted to know if I did something wrong"
The strange look on your face made him realize how you definitely thought differently than him. "Yes, Peter, of course you did."
"W-What did I do?"
He genuinely seemed clueless, you almost felt sad for him; so you sighed, composed yourself and explained:
"Look, I am willing to forget that I almost failed every class because you were an irresponsible asshole; but I won't fall in the same trap again. I don't want to have anything to do with someone who clearly doesn't care about his academic future or can't even get in class in time."
He raised his eyebrows, realizing how precise your choice of words were; but then again, he still didn't want to lose you. He almost considered you his friend.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I never thought about it that way"
"Of course you didn't" You shrugged "So, just stop talking to me."
"That's harsh."
"That's fair."
He pouted, and damn, you almost regretted your decision right there, but you had things to do. Your study loan wouldn't pay on itself, and you still had things to move into your new apartment; besides, you were hungry, you thought your tummy would growl loud enough for him to hear...
"And if I invite you for something to eat?"
Damn you, you knew you should have had breakfast in the morning.
"A coffee, or maybe a pizza..." Damn, that sounded good. "A burger, waffle house... Whatever you want."
"Do you know that place near Midtown? Where everyone would go to eat after PE?" No, no, no. What were you doing?
"Where they sold those cheeseburgers?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck, don't...
"Yeah, there." You answered finally, turning to see him. And there he was with a wide smile "I want to go there. And I'm hungry."
As if it were a frightening announcement, he made a face to which you laughed, almost tired of forcing yourself to hate him.
"And why did you chose Biophysics, Y/N? I didn't notice you were a science nerd."
"Oh well, that's because not everyone has the privileged intellect you do, Parker" you chose to sarcastically answer, following it quickly "I've always liked science, I just have a hard time showing it on my grades. That's why I needed the Oscorp internship which, of course, I couldn't get."
"I didn't know you were struggling, I always thought you were some kind of teacher's pet."
"Oh, no, I was. I totally was" You looked at him "I just didn't get the good grades, and it didn't get me a scholarship, it just erased my social life."
"Damn, I understand why you hate me now."
"Nah, I don't hate you. I just... Don't like you."
"Right, that's better... I guess."
He entered the local, which still was filled with Midtown students, now younger than you two. He greeted the cashier and took a seat in one of the empty tables. You imitated him.
"So, what did you used to get?" he asked, raising his head to look at you on the other side of the table.
"I never ate here"
The way he opened his eyes made you laugh, again.
"And why did you want to eat here, then?"
"Because I never ate here" you shrugged "I want to have that experience."
He smiled. "Okay then, I'll make it the greatest experience you ever have."
"Yeah, whatever, I just want a cheese burger." But the smile on your face betrayed you.
He analyzed your figure. You looked adorable, your bag on your lap; your hair covering your face, not wanting to look up into his eyes.
"And... Are you dating anyone?" Smooth, Parker.
"I've literally treated you like shit all day and you think I'm a person who is able to date anyone?"
He laughed, you smiled.
"Well, I think you have been a little bit grumpier today than you used to be, yes. But I don't think you're an asshole."
"Well, you still have like thirty minutes to change your mind."
"Thirty minutes? A date doesn't last thirty minutes"
"This is not a date"
"Well, you won't eat that cheeseburger in thirty minutes."
"Like I said, I'm hungry."
"They're huge."
"And I'm hungry."
"Okay" he laughed, looking at you "Let's do this. If you eat it in thirty minutes, I'll leave you alone, but if you don't, you'll let me invite you for dinner tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
You sighed in disbelief, trusting your will to eat. "Deal."
TAGLIST: @itssvphia @swaggysposts @allisonxmcu @elarasstardust @lartdestrouvailles @crying-is-your-latest-fashion @mrsbarnes107th @pastel-painted-sunrise
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sunookkii · 3 years
Note
hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3
a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]
Also i am well ty for asking >.<
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
Enhypen forgetting your bday~
Genre : angsty ish
Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??
Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)
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Heeseung :
Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday
But to your luck he forgot :(
So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard
And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt
Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember
So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry
Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear
A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.
He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.
He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself
He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”
He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~
^ so yeah 🤕
Jay :
I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧
You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course
You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.
You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(
You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt
So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)
He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD
Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.
Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker
He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT
After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.
But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this
You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face
“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”
All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good
Jake :
It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you
You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise
But today was sort of… different? :(
You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁
After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face
I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲
You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.
“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.
You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’
When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.
You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”
You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕
He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’
Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.
‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”
A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you
^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)
You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn
Sunghoon :
Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t
So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…
“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”
“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”
“What…”
You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it
But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭
Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes
genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it
And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~
Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.
Puts cake on your nose
Sunoo :
Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget
I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person
Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this
So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered
Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping
He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it
He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date
If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo
Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.
the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.
Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later
caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”
Jungwon :
he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated
Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,
you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most
But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day
“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile
“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face
Your happy smile soon became a little pout
“You really don’t know?”
“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”
oh my- he broke your heart right then and there
You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.
Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you
Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way
“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”
He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look
wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting
“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying
You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳
“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe
Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes
He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<
Cuddles you for the rest of the day
Niki :
He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”
“Well someone is happy today :)”
“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”
“Wednesday?”
😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”
“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game
you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((
he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.
‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’
You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.
“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki
and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on
He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’
But to his luck you were still mad at him
Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~
You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him
N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3
452 notes · View notes
tooruluv · 4 years
Text
Hajime Iwaizumi x F!Reader
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❝ enemies, as well as lovers, come to resemble each other over a period of time ❞
description: your feud with hajime iwaizumi only escalated throughout your years at hogwarts; whether it was on the quidditch field or who would be the first to sit down in class, there always seemed to be some sort of raging competition between you two.  
genre: hogwarts!au, angst, enemies to lovers, slow burn, rivals, gryffindor quidditch keeper iwaizumi, slytherin quidditch captain f!reader
word count: 5.5k
warnings/notes: swearing, lots of angst, small depictions of violence, mentions of alcohol and drinking, not proof read im so sorry although i am an avid believer than both iwa and oikawa would be slytherins, i wanted to play with the idea of them being gryffindors, which actually makes sense when you think hard about it hfklhfd anyway! please enjoy!
part of a hogwarts collab !  collab masterlist posted here ! tysm to the wonderful @rintsuru​ for hosting <3
my general masterlist
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You could feel his presence from across the dining hall, immediately dowsing you in a raging hatred that you only reserved for him. His arrogance mocked you as he basically danced into the Great Hall bathed in compliments.
The Gryffindor quidditch team won against Ravenclaw the night before. You didn’t know why he had all of the glory... he wasn’t even the captain. Being keeper had its perks, you guessed.
You rolled your eyes and focused your attention to your food. You tried not to stab the plate as you heard the varying praises to the boy in red and gold. “Congrats, Iwa!” and “That last block was brilliant!” nearly made you want to choke.
Hajime Iwaizumi was simply not someone who deserved such compliments. He was vile, annoying, and did everything in his limited power to poke and prod at every single one of your nerves. You used to ignore your burning hatred that you harbored for him; but late in your second year, you had let it all out.
And, as it turned out, he wasn’t quite fond of you either.
It had been years since then, yet the feelings remained the same. It was just the start of your sixth year and you already wanted to gouge his eyes out with the pointy end of your fork.
Tooru Oikawa caught your gaze and sent you a cheeky smile. You wished that you could hate the captain as much as his keeper, but you only let your hatred for him simmer for so long. He was quite fun when he wasn’t next to the little shit.
“Just wait for next week when you verse Slytherin! You’re sure to win!” a small Gryffindor told them. 
“I wouldn’t be too sure.” You said, perhaps a bit too loudly. You lacked volume control, after all.
“What was that, Slytherin?” Iwaizumi turned to you. His gaze was fire on your skin and you wanted nothing but to catch him aflame as well. 
“Your arrogance and cockiness proceeds even you.” You said, voice monotone and venomous against the recent silence at your speech. “I wouldn’t be too sure of your success.”
“Say that again after the match.” Iwaizumi turned back to accept another compliment and find a place to sit at his house’s table.
You wondered if you would get expelled if an apple happened to launch out of your hands and land on the back of his head.
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Late in your second year, you had enough of Hajime Iwaizumi.
The both of you were in a silent competition the minute you were introduced to each other in your first year. It was never anything serious, just two eleven year olds who liked to be at the top.
It wasn’t until your second year that you started to feel genuine distaste for him. You had buried the thought of “hate” for a long time, masking it to be annoyance and opposition. 
The hatred was much deeper than a surface burn.
It was during charms class that you finally snapped. 
It was not more than the simple mutter of his breath. It was a mispronunciation of the spell and the tap of his wand against the table that made you lose your control. 
“Hajime! Can you please, for the love of Merlin, shut the fuck up!” The harsh language created a tense silence through the classroom. No twelve year old had the balls to curse that hard in front of that many people, including a professor. “If you are going to be an idiot, at least try to hide it.”
Hajime Iwaizumi turned in his seat to face you, irritation and vexation easily overpowering his shock. 
“Funny that you’re saying that.” He said.
“You’re so ridiculous.” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’m Hajime Iwaizumi and I am a perfect student that can’t even properly pronounce a simple spell! But that doesn’t matter because guess who’s a keeper for the quidditch team when I’m only a second year!! I am perfect!! Literally no one likes you.”
“Trust me, no one likes you either.”
No one meaning, and translating to, I don’t.
Just to show off, you easily cast the charm that he had failed. Charms was your strong subject, so you only needed to say the spell and flick your wand before turning your attention back to him.
He was nearly smoking from his ears, he was both embarrassed and livid.
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You waved to Kei Tsukishima as you caught his gaze from the side of the hall. He was a fellow Slytherin and a good friend, though neither of you would admit that to each other.
He nodded as his greeting. He shoved his book back into his bag as you made your way to his side.
“Hey, Tsukki.” You said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until practice tomorrow.” 
“Yeah, I’m waiting for Yamaguchi.” He turned his body to lean against the wall. “We’re going to Hogsmeade today.”
“No invitation?”
He sighed. “Would you like to join us, Captain?”
“I was joking, no need to sound so enthusiastic.” You chuckled. As you started to speak again, Tadashi Yamaguchi left the classroom the two of you stood outside of. He smiled at you, his green and white reflecting off of his eyes.
“Captain!” Yamaguchi greeted, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Are you coming to Hogsmeade with us?”
“Be careful, the idiots are coming.” Tsukishima interrupted and warned, motioning over your shoulder.
You turned around to find Oikawa and Iwaizumi walking next to each other, laughing about something only the two of them knew. You had to hold back from making a comment.
“Yoohoo!” Tooru Oikawa caught your eye. You sighed and turned back to your fellow Slytherins, sharing a look. 
“Hello, Tooru.” You felt him beside you before you looked. 
You purposely didn’t look at Iwaizumi. 
“We’re celebrating our win tonight, you guys should join!” Oikawa invited. You heard Iwaizumi’s exhale of frustration, but you only rolled your eyes in an attempt to ignore his presence. 
“You want a group of Slytherins hanging out with you, celebrating your win, when we go against you in less than a week?” Tsukishima spoke up. He moved off of the wall. “No thanks. Come, Yamaguchi. Let’s go.”
Yamaguchi waved goodbye and followed his best friend down the hall. You pivoted to fully face the two Gryffindors.
“I’ll come.” You said, mainly out of spite.
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Tooru Oikawa was naturally outgoing. He was the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, a flirt, and all together a pretty chill person. You didn’t mind calling him a friend, despite the vast differences between you two.
One vast difference being his best friend.
Which is why you found yourself next to him as soon as you entered the Gryffindor party. The cascades of burgundy and gold created a deep atmosphere in the hidden room, lights dancing along the dark walls and the smell of various alcohols filled the air. It was a Gryffindor party, that much was true.
You were one of the very few Slytherins that occupied the room. Your eyes caught sight of only a couple, most of them much younger than you and just happy to be at one of their first few parties.
“Oi, a snake has crawled into the winner’s common room.” Oikawa joked as he handed you a can. You accepted. 
“A snake in a lion’s den, I wonder who will win.” You quipped. 
“The lion, for sure.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure. Snakes can eat things 100 percent their size.” You raised a brow and opened your can. 
“Hm,” Oikawa looked over his shoulder and called out for someone you didn’t see. “Hey! Who do you think would win, a lion or a snake?”
“A lion obviously.” It was Hajime Iwaizumi. 
You let out a groan, immediately losing your sense of humor. “Ah, you’ll see in less than a week.”
“I don’t think I will.” Iwaizumi said, stoic and annoyed. “This win was only one of few.”
“I suggest you just celebrate this win.” You took a sip. “Because I don’t think the losing team would like to come to the winner’s party.”
“That just means I will not be seeing you, which is a grand idea.”
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It was the time of year just before winter, where the air starts to cool but the sun still warms your skin. You took a breath and held your broom at your side. 
It was near minutes before the anticipated game against Gryffindor, and you could hear the crowds already. The rivalry between your houses was something that everyone enjoyed; the rivalry between you and their keeper was all you.
“Alright team.” You pivoted to the team behind you. “We’re playing Serpent first; and if we don’t get any points within the first two minutes, I’ll hold up the signal for Green. Got it?”
“Got it.”
You had a pretty well-rounded team in your honest opinion. Tsukishima was perfect as your keeper, he was never one to let anything get past him. Your chasers included you, Yamaguchi, and another girl named Yui Michimiya. You had the Miya twins for beaters. And, rather recently, you gained a new seeker named Tobio Kageyama. The same age as your keeper, but only wanted to join quidditch out of hate for the Gryffindor seeker (and who were you to deny that?).
The Gryffindor team was not one to mess with, they had a nice team too. Iwaizumi as the keeper, the Idiots Nishinoya and Tanaka as beaters, their new seeker Shoyo Hinata... but the problem was their chasers: Oikawa, Kiyoko Shimizu, and Wakatoshi Ushijima. They were so quick on their brooms, it was like working against wind.
Today was no day to lose.
“It’s our first official match of the year.” You encouraged. “Let’s show them who not to mess with.”
“Let’s absolutely destroy them.” Atsumu added.
You grinned.
As you headed towards the field, you could feel the adrenaline creeping into your bones. Quidditch had become routine, simple muscle memory as you moved to your starting positions. 
The Gryffindor team appeared, and you felt the excitement enter you in a rush of air.
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In the air, Hajime Iwaizumi felt at peace. He was very good at what he did, and he knew that, and the game was something he was passionate about.
He was also passionate about beating you.
You were the bane of his existence. You had never once sent him anything other than something bitter or sarcastic. You were an annoying pest that he simply couldn’t get rid of.
And as you threw the Quaffle into the goal just above his head, Iwaizumi felt his eye twitch.
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Slytherin won, Tobio Kageyama’s hand high with the Snitch inside. 
You watched in triumph as the teams descended on the brooms. From the skies down, you cheered.
“Congrats, Slytherin.” Oikawa said, though his tone was bitter and sour. 
You knew that he hated losing, so you didn’t push it. He was a friend, after all. Sending him just a small “I’m sorry you didn’t win” smile, you headed to your team. You gathered them into a hug, or rather-- a huddle, and ruffled the hair on Kageyama’s head. 
You peeked over your shoulder to catch sight of Iwaizumi. He was standing, hands at his sides, red face and eyes blank of any expression other than anger.
You smirked at him.
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Hajime Iwaizumi was on the other side of the victory this time, silently brooding as he picked at his food in the Great Hall. The Gryffindor table emitted zero volume. 
He was pissed off the second you entered the hall, Kei Tsukishima and Tadashi Yamaguchi walking beside you. The green and white seemed to glow, mocking him in the worst way imaginable. 
Oikawa tried to bring his attention back to the food, but Iwaizumi was focused primarily on you. You were gloating, relishing in his loss, taking delight in the compliments from your house. A Hufflepuff appeared at your side, and you smiled as you thanked them for their congratulations. 
He felt sick.
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You could not help but drown yourself in the triumph. You walked on air, the feeling of superiority tickling every inch of skin it could touch.
You waved goodbye to a couple of friends, heading directly to the Gryffindor table. You placed your hands on Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s shoulders, leaning to place your head right between theirs.
“I suppose the snake beats the lion.” You sent a wink to Iwaizumi, knowing full well how it would provoke him. 
“Fuck off.” Iwaizumi shoved your hand off of his shoulder.
“Go receive your praise at the Slytherin table.” Oikawa shooed, fork in hand. “You won’t find it here.”
“Sore losers.” You mocked just for fun. You stood straight. “I imagine that I would be the same, given it were the other way.”
You basically skipped back to your table for breakfast.
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You were absolutely elated for the rest of the day. It was quite similar to being on cloud 9, winning your first game of the year against your rivals. The look on Hajime Iwaizumi’s face only added to the feeling.
You were walking down the hall, talking to a fellow Slytherin girl who had her arm wrapped in yours. She was going on and on about how she wished she could have imprinted Kageyama’s snitch catch to her memory.
That was when your shoulder collided directly into a firm body.
Your arm was ripped away from your classmates, along with your bag that fell onto the hard ground with a loud thud and wisp of parchment and ink. Everything in your bag now scattered the ground, covered in the dark ink and dirt. 
Your mood was too high to get too angry. It was an accident; you would bite your tongue and clean up the mess.
Until you realized just who’s shoulder you ran into: Hajime Iwaizumi. Your greatest enemy and now destruction of your contents.
“Watch where you’re going next time, Hajime.” You grunted, kneeling to save some of your parchment before the ink could reach it. 
“Perhaps if you had your head out of your ass, you wouldn’t have run into me.” Iwaizumi responded. He had turned to face you midway through your fall.
“As if you didn’t feel this way a week ago.” You told him, standing up. Nearly everything that was in your bag was soaked, including the bag itself. You inhaled deeply. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Now, why would I run my shoulder into you on purpose hoping to ruin your mood?” He asked. “You must be very arrogant to think that everything must be about you.”
You clenched your jaw and closed your eyes. “I will not let a piece of shit such as yourself bring my mood down today. Today is a good day.”
You knelt once again to find your essay that you had written for Snape, searching your documents. Only to find it one of the few that were directly under the ink, completely doused in black.
“Actually, fuck you.” You lifted the paper. Ink dripped off and onto the ground. “Do you know how long I worked on this?”
“I don’t know, a couple of minutes?” Iwaizumi shrugged. “You aren’t exactly the best at your schoolwork.”
“You wish you knew me well, but you don’t at all.” You felt anger boil in your chest. “I worked very hard on this essay. Days, even. And you destroyed it in less than five seconds..”
“There’s the Slytherin in you.” He let out a humorless laugh. “You think everything has to be about you, and if it doesn’t than someone is out to get you. Your ego is so fucking enormous that you can’t even muster the idea that maybe something isn’t about you. You didn’t even win, Tobio won the game for you. God, why don’t you go make a friend instead of standing here arguing with me about an accident?”
And then, “You really are a raging bitch, aren’t you?”
The girl that you were talking to had wide eyes, and you were sure that she was ready to fight. A couple of bystanders that were once just listeners started to mumble. And you.... you couldn’t fathom words.
Your feud with him had grown deep, but it had never gone as far as that. In front of a crowd, no less. 
It was one thing to make comments, to be bitter and roll your eyes at each other’s presence. It was one thing to bicker, to fight, to joke to friends about the other’s incompetence and purposely pull on each other’s strings.
It was something else completely to call you a bitch in front of everyone in the middle of a hallway after a thread of insults.
You fake smiled, feeling unwanted tears threaten their way to your eyes. You would not allow yourself the angry tears; they would only make you angrier. 
“You’re more than just an asshole, Hajime Iwaizumi.” You told him. Because you truly didn’t have any words.
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“Calling a woman a bitch is the worst insult. Those are fighting words.” Oikawa’s older sister used to say. “It’s comparable to calling a man a pussy.”
Hajime Iwaizumi didn’t think much while he spoke. He just said the things as they came, especially when he didn’t really care much about what you thought of him.
But, calling you a bitch... that felt as if it were crossing a line that he didn’t have the authority to cross. And the look on your face after he said it was one that he had never witnessed on you.
At practice, his head still held the image of you. 
He was confused. Why did he regret calling you a name? It wasn’t as if the two of you don’t argue in front of people all of the time. In fact, it was nearly a common occurrence. 
For some ungodly reason, he felt a tug at his chest. 
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“Maybe you should apologize?” Oikawa suggested.
“Why would I apologize to her?”
“Because I think you went a little bit too far.” He told his best friend as truthfully as possible. “Because as much as I think the rivalry between you two is fun, she’s still just a girl. And because my sister said you should.”
“You wrote your sister?”
“Yeah, of course I did.”
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For several days, Hajime Iwaizumi hadn’t seen you. You didn’t eat in the Great Hall, you didn’t come to the classes he had with you, you didn’t go to Hogsmeade like you usually did on weekends.
So, he came to your practice.
He was hoping to apologize. It was something he had never done to you before, and he had practiced it quite a few times. Just a small, “I’m sorry for calling you a bitch in front of everyone.”
Yes. That should be fine and the two of you could go back to the regularly scheduled loathing.
But the second he stepped onto the field, the two beaters stood in front of him. 
“I wouldn’t.” Atsumu said, holding his broom. “She’s been in a mood.”
“I know, I’m the reason for that.” Iwaizumi said. “I just want to talk to her. Just a second.”
“I wouldn’t.” Osamu repeated. “Whatever you have to say, it’s gonna have to wait.”
Iwaizumi nodded, looking at the twins. He was going to ask them to tell you that he had been there, ask them to ask you to meet him somewhere or something so he can get the stupid apology off of his chest, when you appeared behind them.
“Get off of my field, Hajime Iwaizumi.” You said. You had been at practice for the past two hours (according to the sign ups), yet your voice was even and you hadn’t even broken a sweat. In fact, your voice spit toxin in his direction.
“I just wanted to...”
You had taken off before he could even say his second word. The twins followed right after.
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Tooru Oikawa took a place beside you. It would have been normal, if it were not for your avid avoidance of anyone with a Gryffindor robe on.
“Hello, Tooru.” You said without sparing him a glance.
The thing was, you weren’t angry with him. You didn’t hate Oikawa, you hated his closest friend. And by association, you didn’t want to talk to him just as much. Oikawa had always been the middle ground between the doom and gloom that was the dark haired man you hated.
“I think you should talk to Iwa.” Oikawa said. Plain and simple, to the point.
“I think you should mind your business.” You retorted. “I never talked to him to begin with, what’s different now?”
“Because now is different.” He grabbed his book as the professor walked in. “Now, you won’t even say your smart ass remarks or tell him how fucked up his hair looks. Now is just... boring and sad.”
“So you want me to talk to the guy I hate in order for you to not be bored?” You scoffed and collected your things. “Truly, you are his best friend.”
You left just as the professor started talking, receiving a few stares in the process. It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to that.
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You were walking with Tsukishima, laughing at your attempts to get him to smile. Your team had really taken your mind and restored your confidence. You figured, as long as you didn’t see the man you hate then he simply didn’t exist. It was that easy.
Until you accidentally caught his eye across the street. 
It had been snowing, so most of the students were in their winter gear and warm clothes. You yourself had a hat and scarf on, gloves to cover your hands despite the hot to-go mug of cocoa in them. 
Hogsmeade was quite busy with everyone getting last minute holiday gifts and hurrying to hang out before break. Yet, somehow, your eyes found the brown of Iwaizumi’s.
You turned around, forcing Tsukishima to follow. The younger boy didn’t even have to ask about your change in demeanor, easily falling into pace beside you. 
You felt a hand on your wrist, and heard your name being called. “Hey. Can I talk to you? I’ve been trying to apologize...”
You stopped dead in your tracks, as if you were pulled on a leash. As if his bare hand touching your empty gloved one had scolded you. Iwaizumi stood before you, red cheeks from either the cold or from rushing after you. Either way, you wanted nothing to do with it. 
He had spun you in his grasp, his jaw tight and eyes searching yours before falling to his hand around yours. His grip on your wrist was tight, and he swallowed as his eyes found yours again.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” You snatched your arm away. “Have you ever considered that? I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want to hear your half-ass apology!”
“I have been trying to talk to you.” He said. “I...” His eyes scanned yours. His tongue rolled in his mouth. “You mean to tell me that you don’t want my apologies?”
“You’ve made it very clear what you think of me, so I hope that I can make this very clear for you,” You took a deep breath. “I hate you. I don’t like you, I have never liked you, and I hope that whatever it is that is eating you up inside continues to do so.”
Hajime Iwaizumi’s eye twitched. He started to take a step towards you, but decided against it, falling back into the same step. “I don’t...” His voice was nothing as you had ever heard it. “You...” His eyes clouded with the emotions you were familiar with. “Fine.”
“Fine.”
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It was a sudden realization. It was not something you had even considered before, not something planned or reasoned. It was much like a tsunami, a build up of unrelated activity that brought something else entirely.
Emotions were unfortunate things. If you feel extreme emotions for someone, no matter what... they are still very strong feelings.
Hate to love, what a strange concept.
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You held the potion below your nose, inhaling the scent. 
“What does it smell like?” Snape asked.
“It smells like... bergamot.” You distinguished the varying smells. “Apple. And... lavender?”
You stepped back and hoped no one could see you connecting the dots through your eyes.
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Tooru Oikawa was an observant person. He was known to be the person who knew the best for his team, easily finding the perfect techniques for each on the field and as encouragement. He was one for connections and relationships.
Which is why he knew that you were masking feelings of something else with this burning hatred. Which is why he knew why you felt so bad after Iwa called you a terrible name in front of an audience. Which is why he knew who it was when you listed your amortentia scents.
He tried to send you a look from his seat across from you, classes later. He wanted to tell you that he knew; that he knew there was something more to what’s going on, and that something was Iwaizumi.
You just sent him a middle finger, knowing full well what he was getting at.
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Your feelings didn’t just suddenly arrive. And you were full of confusion, disorientation, and most of all... anger.
For as long as you could remember, Hajime Iwaizumi was supposed to be your arch enemy. He was your nemesis on a daily basis. He was the reason for your annoyance. He was the reason for your hatred for the colors red and gold. He was the reason you became the quidditch captain. He was the reason for the breath leaving your lungs.
And he was the reason for the breath entering.
You were pissed. You were pissed that you had unrealized feelings for the man you were supposed to hate, have hated for years. You were pissed that your love had been in a game of chess, where the only outcome is to win or forfeit. You were pissed that the entire time you had spent a vast majority of your time hating, loathing, rolling your eyes at... the entire time you had a reserved space for hate, when it should have been quite the opposite.
The luck must have been exclusively for someone else, because it seemed as though whoever created you had decided to have a fun game.
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You had punched Hajime Iwaizumi once. 
It was something you thought of a lot, and it was the main reason Iwaizumi chose not to test you too closely to that day. 
He was rolling his eyes at something Oikawa was saying when you walked by. You were heading to your quidditch practice, the captain not one for latecomers. And he caught sight of you. He quickly jumped from his spot and stopped you from passing.
“Out of the way, Hajime, I have practice.”
“Oh, right, because you’re on the quidditch team now.”
“I am, thank you very much.” It was the beginning of third year, and you were not only annoyed but you were also a Growing Person going through puberty. You did not have time to deal with a teenage boy pissing you off. “You forget that not everyone got on the team their first year of trying out.”
“Because we’re better than the entire Slytherin team.”
“Talk to me when you win a house cup.” You tried to push past him, but he stood directly in front of you in one step. “Move, or be moved.”
“What are you going to do? Punch me?”
So, you did. Your fist collided with his cheek before you could even register that it had happened. Oikawa gasped out loud, it quickly turning into a laugh. 
“She punched you!” Oikawa laughed, grasping at his sides. “Ah man!”
While Iwaizumi touched his cheek to check that— ah yes, you really did punch him— you were already walking away to the practice field.
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Iwaizumi missed you, if he were being fully and completely honest with himself.
He found himself searching for you in classes or in common areas, prepared for your snide remarks and bitter taunts. He found himself waiting for you to roll your eyes at his presence; looking for you to quip about the next quidditch game.
But when none of it came, he felt out of place.
He actually missed your annoyed banter. He missed you shoving your middle finger in his direction. He missed the redness on your cheeks when you would try to calm yourself down. He missed the silence that would escape you if he entered a room and you were anything other than angry.
He missed catching you smiling at someone and watching your face change. He missed the arguments in class. He missed the little comments during eating.
Confused, he pushed those feelings down as he watched you eat with some Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff that he had never talked to before.
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It had been several weeks of silence from your end. You had thrown yourself back into quidditch before the break, happy to have a distraction from whatever the fuck you were feeling. You weren’t going home for the holidays, so you spent some time planning for the spring and classes.
You found yourself outside, sitting in the snow and writing a make up essay for Snape. You had found a nice spot under a roofed area, so nothing smudged your writing (or, you know, covered it completely). 
“Oh.” A voice said from above you.
You looked up to find Iwaizumi, hands in pockets and staring at you as if you had never existed and he was discovering you for the first time.
“I wasn’t expecting to find anyone here.” He said. 
“Yeah, obviously neither was I.” You started to put your things away.
“No... no comment?”
“Hm?”
“No... snarky comment? No you look terrible to me?”
You shook your head. Mainly because you didn’t have the energy. You were content, bored, and just overall exhausted. You had exhausted yourself in thinking of every possible outcome to your love for the man in front of you, none of which made any sense.
None of it made any sense.
It was as if one moment, you were standing on ground. And the next, you were swept away by a giant wave that you thought was only an earthquake. You hated love. 
“Then, can I finally say what I have been meaning to?”
“No.” You finally got the last of your things into your bag. 
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why can’t you just hear me out?” He stood in front of you, hoping to stall your leaving. “I’ve been trying to tell you that I shouldn’t have called you a bitch, and I should have...”
“And I don’t want to hear it.”
You started to leave, but he jogged to jump in front of you again. Through the years, he had gained height compared to you. You weren’t necessarily kids anymore, you weren’t at eye level to just punch him in his cheek without reaching for it. 
“God, you’re fucking annoying.” You shifted your bag on your shoulders. “You want me to call you a name so it can be even? You want me to tell you that everything is fine and we can go back to our constant fighting? What do you fucking want from me?”
“What do I want from you?” He asked, voice rising to match yours. “What do you want from me? I’ve been trying to get your attention for over a fucking month and you have given me every reason to just stop.”
“Then why don’t you!” You dropped your hands. “Why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”
“Why?”
“Why what, Hajime?”
“Why?” Iwaizumi let out a small breath, the grey cloud leaving his lungs. “Why won’t you just let me talk to you for five minutes?”
“Because I don’t want to! Because I don’t want to hear you make up excuses. Because I cannot listen to your voice for too long.”
Before you could stop yourself, before you could recognize your own voice, before any thoughts arrived, you said, “Because for some fucked up god awful reason, I’m in love with you!”
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Everything froze all at once. The oxygen left your lungs, the snow stopped falling, and everything became so unbearably silent.
You stared at him, regret drenching you in an instant as if the tides of the ocean had rose and fell in one single motion. You couldn’t breathe, your heart seized in your chest and against your ribs. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into his face, fearing to find yourself lost and never found.
He let out a single breath. And you held yours.
fin.
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batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG
dick
dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it
dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao
dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time
Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN
everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets
jason
would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip
him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge
tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.
jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost
cassandra
it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship
she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)
cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.
duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.
damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going
tim
tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.
listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.
tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.
tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.
tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian
duke
very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.
was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.
cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).
tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.
damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.
damian
damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf
listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).
Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.
DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.
CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.
Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers
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cinnamonest · 4 years
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I feel like I’ve found my kin, I fell in love with Kakashi when I was like 8 LOL. Can I request some general yandere Zoro headcanons btw? I loved/still love him too 😶
Yes you may ahhh!!!! I love Zoro so much. I love writing for fandoms like this bc shounen anime are... Well, shounen, they're aimed at dudes, so they tend to not have as large of a female audience so there's not a lot of content out there. I love Luffy and there's like zero girl-targeted content for him. I swear I've spent so much time looking for wholesome, decent LuNa (my otp im sorry i just hhhh) doujins that aren't super male-oriented, and there's like... 2. For a 900+ episode anime. 2.
I also love the concept of a yandere in a situation where they CAN'T kidnap you, they're limited by their circumstances, so they have to kind of adjust or go insane. It's an interesting dynamic because it eliminates the norm for yanderes.
I think I mentioned this but I'm not 100% caught up with one piece (I mean, who is?), so I'm just keeping it simplistic and going with kinda basic Zoro and nothing with specific character developments or any spoilers other than his backstory
Yandere Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)
Tws: all the usuals -- yandere, noncon, kidnapping
He meets you while he's lost. I'm sorry I just. Zoro gets lost in the middle of some place they're docked, and you're just such a sweetheart, you see this guy clearly not knowing where he's going, and offer to help him. He's kind of taken aback by your softness and sweetness.
He's not easily made aware of his own feelings. He's a rough and tough sort of guy, and he has dedicated himself to swordsmanship so much that he's neglected to focus on himself and his interpersonal relationships, and he's not really self aware at all of his own feelings, very out of touch with his emotions.
Obviously, even if he tries to shove it down, Kuina weighs heavily on his mind in relation to you. He's another man that has known loss and it's dealt its damage on his psyche. He can't lose another person who's dear to him again.
This results in him becoming insanely protective, one of the most protective yans out there. He's easily one led into paranoia delusions regarding your safety. However, he's an honest and reasonable guy and can be level-headed when confronted. If someone (not yourself, as he thinks you're naive, but maybe another girl like Nami or Robin) tells him he's being overprotective and exaggerating about your safety, he may actually have a moment of self-realization and admit to it. He's capable of being reasonable enough to see it once it's pointed out to him. However... this doesn't stop him. He tries, really, he genuinely tells himself that he needs to stop. But his instincts just kind of take over. It's an impulse, to stop you from doing even the most slightly dangerous things.
Once you join the Straw Hat Crew, he just kinda... clings. It's a silent presence, but he's always there, constantly seems to show up wherever you are. Unfortunately, you can't really... get away from him per se. You're kinda limited to one ship, at least as long as you're out on the sea. Your only option for respite is going to your room or bathing, otherwise, he's gonna follow you, even if he's not saying anything and (very badly) trying to feign indifference, pretending you just happen to be going the same way all the time. He doesn't really know what to say, he's not good with these things, and often he's acting without really thinking too much about it. He won't usually strike up a conversation, he just... is there. Watches. May awkwardly ask a question or make a passing comment.
One scenario I imagine is you jokingly picking up one of his swords and wielding it around giggling and he just flips out, takes it from you and yells at you not to do that, are you an idiot? Do you want to trip and fall and have that impale you? Do you realize how easy it would be for you to slice your arm open by accident? It's startling to both you and anyone watching -- even for someone who gets yell-y as easily as him, it seems like an overreaction. He'll apologize but insist it's a safety thing, really.
And he really tries to hide his more... aggressive nature, because he thinks it will drive you away -- he's a blunt, tough guy with a short-fused temper, and he thinks that's definitely not something women like very much. He tries not to yell at you, not get mad so easy, keep his calm better around you, and might even be nicer to others so that you don't think he's mean. And for the most part, he can manage that. Except when it comes to a very specific, very problematic blonde crew member. His little conflicts with Sanji get worse, to even a point that he's snapping at him so frequently that even Sanji himself is a bit bewildered and caught off guard by it. The others notice they fight a lot more often... and Zoro always seems to instigate it, picking quarrels over the littlest things. In reality, he's afraid of the other's... sleazy nature. He can't have you falling for that bastard. He even starts to get jittery when you're in the presence of Franky, Usopp, hell even Luffy of all people. It's noticeable, and everyone kinda worries for him.
He kicks himself for it as soon as he does it, but he finds himself insulting you nonetheless. It's a terrible habit. He gets so awkward and flustered that it's second nature for him to say something snarky or even rude when you talk to him, and he immediately is just mentally screaming at himself for doing so. This will get a bit better with time, though, if you two talk more often.
Now, even if you can fight, you're never gonna really get the opportunity. In battle, he's clinging to you and protecting you at every moment, even if it costs the others some unnecessary wounds. It's highly uncharacteristic of him, and they notice. He won't leave your side, insisting that you're a weak fighter and that he has to take care of you. You just don't get it, you overestimate yourself, you underestimate your enemies, you're a girl. What, Nami and Robin? Well, they've been at this much longer than you, and they had rough upbringings. You're different. You're soft... fragile. You just can't see it. You're lucky he's here to protect your dumbass.
Due to your setup, well, he can't really kidnap you per se. He undoubtedly would if you two were somewhere else, in another life or another setting, but that's not really an option, and even as a yandere, he would never go so far as to kill or abandon his crew. So, he's stuck with just... slowly, slowly mentally deteriorating.
Now, he's not capable of kidnapping, he's not smart enough to really manipulate you into anything (although he WILL tell you that some of the other guys are out to use you), so, he's left to be the guard dog he inevitably becomes to you. If you avoid him, he'll just follow you. If you don't talk to him, that's ok. If you confront him, he'll just insist he has no idea what you're talking about, and you'll start to feel like maybe you're just paranoid. The others... don't really know what to do, to be honest. I can see Nami/Robin potentially confronting him, but in the end, they can't force him to change his behaviors, and they can't afford to lose him. This results in, gradually, everyone slowly kind of accepting your dynamic onboard. They feel bad for you, really, but... in the end, Zoro's just more valuable to the crew. Sorry. They're not gonna get rid of him, but they don't want to get rid of you either.
If you leave? It may just be one of the very very few things that could ever cause him to leave the Strawhats. It would tear him up, really, it goes against his dreams, his pride, his loyalty, but in the end... his loyalty is first and foremost to you. He'll follow you if you leave. It's a bad move on your part, because this gets rid of the only thing standing between you and kidnapping. Which, at that point, surely will happen. Like his other behaviors, he'll feel bad, he'll try and stop himself, tell himself it's wrong, but you'll end up bound in some dark basement nonetheless. He's one to take a very simple approach. Find you alone, sling you up and over his shoulder and carry you off before anyone can come.
Rejection doesn't faze him. No matter what, he'll remain by your side. Even if you never love him in return. It's just his nature, he's a guardian through and through.
In the end, he'll be right there by your side, scaring off any competitors, clinging to you like glue, ever in your presence like a shadow, forever. Whether you want him to or not. He's just an inescapable force, an unmovable object, and you're wasting your time trying to change your fate.
Now, he's very flustered with anything sexual. Highly embarrassed, lots of shame, and doesn't talk much about it. It just kind of happens. He doesn't talk much during, mostly grunts and the occasional fuck when you clamp down, occasionally asking you if you're ok, if it hurts, if it feels good. It's one of the only very soft sides of him. In the end, he really, truly loves you, and doesn't want to hurt you, he wants you to feel good and just love him. It's a very different side to him, one no one else has ever really seen, it's the most vulnerable he himself has ever been with another person.
He feels shame for it, but initially he'll definitely be one to steal your things, sit outside of your room at night, listening to you through the wall, try and get glimpses of you bathing or dressing. He really, really feels guilty, and he's one that will, once you're comfortably restrained and never going anywhere, just sit down and list out every nasty little thing he's ever done regarding you, just to get it off his chest. He understands if you react badly, and he'll apologize, which is a bit ironic considering how much worse kidnapping you is.
He'll apologize for that, too. He's actually one to do so a lot. He's normally a proud guy, but with this? He knows it's wrong, he knows it's fucked up. He knows he can't stop. And he'll be sorry to the moon and back. Just never sorry enough to stop.
He's actually a pretty vanilla guy. Hand-holding missionary type. And, despite being so embarrassed over it all, oddly romantic about it. It's one of the only things he's ever soft and gentle about, it's almost unbelievable to you that he's capable of being so gentle and slow with anything. But he'll kiss your forehead, really take his time with it all, make you cum on his fingers before ever actually fucking you. Hold your hand, look into your eyes. It would be honestly incredibly sweet if it weren't... you know, taking place in some dark sealed off room after dragging you there against your will.
If he's particularly mad, he can get rougher, but he'll apologize after. It's a lot of harsh grabbing, biting, it leaves bruises that he'll rub over softly, whispering an apology, even if a little part of him likes the way it looks on you.
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bnhatrashsammy · 4 years
Text
You Think They’re Gonna Hit You
Includes: Izuku, Bakugou, Todoroki and my lovely Mina baby!
Warnings: ANGST but with a happy ending bc im baby, nothing too detailed though. Gender neutral reader <3
Mentions of abuse and cursing ofc (its me i always curse so like-)
_____________________________________________________
  You had been in an abusive situation/relationship prior to your current relationship. You had yet to tell your partner.
You two were simply playing around, something very common in your relationship.
You were in his dorm, both of you going back and forth between tickling each other.
Your eyes were closed as you blindly search for his sides, your breath coming out in shrieks and gasps between you laughing so hard.
One you feel your lovely boo move so they’re hovering above you, rather than beside you and tickling the shit out of you, you open your eyes as you try to catch your breath.
However, once you see their position your breath gets caught in your throat, and your entire body freezes up.
They weren’t even in a very threatening pose, their face held a bright and playful grin. Yet, all you could focus on was the hand positioned like it was going to slap you. 
  It was practically coming for you in slow motion, you thought for sure your lovely partner was getting ready to slap you.
  Without even thinking, you automatically flinch, hands coming up to protect your face, your body trembling in fear.
Izuku Midoriya
Izuku’s face changes from playful to concern very quickly, not that you can see from your tightly closed eyes and arms covering your face.
“Baby?” Izuku says softly, leaning back so he’s sitting cross-legged in front of your form. “(Y/N), baby, look at me please.” The utter concern and fear in his voice had you peaking your eyes open, looking between your fingers at the teary-eyed look he’s giving you.
Your body reacts before your mind really catches up to what the fuck just happened, and you sit up, crossing your legs as well and fiddle with your hands in your lap, looking anywhere but at Izuku’s gaze.
‘He’s gonna be so mad- he’s gonna yell and scream- I shouldn’t have reacted- if only I had just-’ Before you can even finish your rambling, terrifying thoughts, Izuku speaks up.
“D-did you think I was gonna hit you?” His voice comes out slowly and softly, but there’s not a hint of judgment. Only concern.
You slowly meet his gaze, continuing to fiddle with your hands. “N-not really you- It’s just what I’m used to so I just assumed-” You hurriedly try to explain before he speaks up again.
“Baby, you’re used to? How could you be used to- who did it? I’ll kill them, I swear!” Izuku leans forward slowly, as to not startle you anymore before pulling you to him, hugging you comfortingly, protectively. 
“You didn’t do anything wrong, (Y/N). I promise. If I had known I wouldn't have done it. I'm so sorry baby.” Izuku reassures you genuinely.
Izuku continues reassuring you, comforting you and caring for you softly as you tell him about your past. Obviously you couldn’t spill everything out all at once, there would be more of these conversations in the future. But it was honestly nice. To just be able to get it out in the open, to have him comfort you.
“I will never hurt you, (Y/N). Let me be your hero.” Izuku says after you had cried out all your tears and fell asleep on him. He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, before laying down with you and falling asleep himself.
Bakugou Katsuki
Bakugou freezes as the genuine fear he can clearly see on your trembling form. He’s quick to sit against his wall on the bed, pulling you into his lap as he comfortingly pets your hair.
You bury your head in the crook of his neck, a flurry of painful memories causing tears to build up in your tightly closed eyes as you grip onto Bakugou as if your life absolutely depended on it.
“I-i’m sorry- I didn’t mean too-” You try apologizing, but he’s quick to shush you, his voice gruff but gentle in his own Bakugou way.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, dumbass. Jus’ breathe.” Of course, Bakugou doesn’t blame you, but he also feels you thought he was going to hit you simply because of how angry he can be, he didn’t know of your past of abuse.
“I know i'm always angry and shit, but- fuck-,” His voice breaks, and he holds you the slightest bit tighter, more protectively. “I’d n-never hit you, (Y/N).” He tries to keep his voice steady but it breaks again as tears well up in his eyes. “I love you so much, I’d never do anything to hurt you, okay, baby? I swear it- fuck.” 
You continue to grip onto him desperately, opening your mouth to speak even though you know your voice is gonna be hoarse from your crying, “I k-know you would’t- it just made me think about when it did happen and I-I just reacted. I k-know you’d never, Katsu- I’m s-”
“No. Don’t be sorry. Just talk to me. Please?” He says sternly, but giving you the option object, to just stay within his arms protectively.
So you tell him some of the things you had to endure. He drops the name ‘dumbass’, giving you soft nicknames and encouragement to continue when you started crying too much to continue talking.
Aside from his encouragements, and hushing of your apologies, he just let’s you speak what's on your mind. It’s freeing, and honestly you feel a lot better when it’s over.
“Thank you, Katsu. I love you. So very much.” You whisper tiredly as you finish your hours long conversation. Bakugou shakes his head as he continues rocking you comfortingly.
“I'm here for you through whatever, babe. And I plan to keep it that fuckin’ way.” He says, the determination in his voice caused a small smile on your face.
You eventually fall asleep, Bakugou humming gently as he continues rocking you comfortingly. Honestly, you couldn’t be happier in that moment, with the love of your life caring for you with no restraints.
Todoroki Shoto
  Todoroki’s face instantly drops as he watches your reaction. He knows that reaction. He’s had that reaction too many times to count. 
He lays beside you, cuddling into your side, rubbing circles over your sides in a comforting manor as your breathing eventually returns to normal. 
“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” His voice sounds so remorseful, so genuinely hurt.
“It's not you- It’s just muscle memory- I know you’d never actually do anything to hurt me Sho.” Your voice comes out quickly, you turn over to hide into his chest as he rests his head against yours. He moves his hand so it’s rubbing your back soothingly.
“Talk to me?” Todoroki asks, and it makes your heart swell. He’s not the most emotional person, you loved him regardless of that fact obviously, but the fact that he’s offering to listen without you bringing it up first makes you a bit happier.
So you talk, telling him about different situations throughout your life that inevitably lead to the muscle memory reaction. Todoroki didn’t talk, preferring to just listen. He’d switch between rubbing your back, or running his hands through your hair, occasionally kissing along your hairline or kissing your cheeks softly as you vented.
Once you finish talking, genuinely too mentally and physically exhausted to continue, Todoroki speaks up.
“None of that was your fault. Those people- they were at fault. You had never done anything wrong, (Y/N). Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me enough to talk about this. You’re so strong and brave. I'm so proud to call you mine. I love you, (Y/N). Thank you for allowing me to help.” He ends his mini speech by placing a gentle kiss on your lips.
You smile at him tiredly, before pulling the blanket from the end of the bed bed and covering you both with it. You snuggle into his chest, leaning your head up to place a kiss on his jaw, before allowing sleep to take you.
Mina Ashido
Mina pauses at your reaction, confusion taking over her features before the realization slowly comes to her.
“Babycakes, no, i’d never-” She says quickly, jumping to straddle your lap, wrapping her arms around you reassuringly as your thoughts turn dark.
“It’s okay, cupcake, I’m here for you, jus breath, I've got you.” She reassures as your wrap your arms around her, cries slowly leaving your throat while she nuzzles the crook of your neck.
Before you can even open your mouth in an attempt to apologize she starts talking, “Don't you dare apologize. It’s not your fault, love.”
You can’t help the chuckle that interrupts your sobs, she knows you through and through.
“You want to talk about it, babycakes? I’ll listen. Let me be here for you please,” She pleads, just wanting to calm your painful sobs, just wanting to put a smile back on your perfect face. Her own eyes start to tear up, and she sniffles quietly.
You hug her a bit tighter, nodding your head. Once your tears calm down a bit, you tell her. You relay some of the events of the past that have scarred you to this day.
And with everything you say Mina continues to reassure you, kissing all over your face and hair. She continues holding you, not letting up for even a second. It means the world to you, just the fact that she’s being serious about it for you. She’s genuinely trying for you, and it makes a small smile light up your face as you finish retelling your past.
“There’s that gorgeous smile I love to see!” She says, a bright grin lighting up her face which just causes you to smile more.
“What would I do without you, Mina.” You say lovingly, as she wipes your eyes for hopefully the last time of the night.
Her smile turns loving as she gives you a small, gentle kiss.
“Let’s not find out, babycakes. You’re just gonna have to be stuck with me.”
Well, you couldn’t complain with her on that note.
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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years
Text
“sorry to bother you”
Summary: Y/N meets Harry in a little shop in France. It was a lovely meeting between the fan and the rockstar, but when Y/N realizes she’s lost her phone, will she see Harry sooner than she had ever thought possible?
AKA Harry meets a fan and accidentally steals her phone
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vibes bc they snack and she walks up to him while he’s looking at the sky lol ^
Ok so I just wanted to preface this: this was initially just going to be a short blurb about a respectful meeting between Harry and a fan because of the terrible stories I’ve been hearing lately about rude people being inconsiderate of Harry and his privacy and I wanted to showcase that you can treat Harry as a human being rather than an object when you see him irl. But then my writer brain wanted more and so it turned into more. All I have to say is if you ever meet Harry in real life, please be respectful and kind. Also there is a 0.00001 chance that this would ever actually happen as most fiction goes so please don’t expect more than a short convo and maybe a photo from him. For him to even speak with you is more than enough, he really isn’t a disneyland attraction. 
Also not proofread bc apparently its long lol, I’m not super in love with this but I think it’s good-ish the end is meh - pls lemme know what yall think :)
Word Count: 10.2k (wait im actually so confused how this got so long omfg) | Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, idrk its long but it’s sweet?
-
She saw him long before she approached him. She was truly unsure of herself, not wanting to bother him or upset him. She had been a fan for so long and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet someone who meant so much to her.
In the small Bayeux shop, she hesitates as she risks another glance at the tall man. She whispered to her mom minutes ago about how Harry Styles was in the same shop as them. Her mom was texting her non stop telling her to go up to him or she would do it herself. Y/N shook her head, distrusting her mom and feeling self conscious. No one else was in the store and her interaction with him wouldn’t disrupt the rest of the store, but for some reason she felt a tinge of discomfort about going up to him.
Harry leafs over a tablecloth, not paying attention to the other patrons in the store or anything else for that matter. He was staying on the coast of France for the week and he hadn’t run into many fans, so he was feeling at ease. Mitch was somewhere else in the store, but Harry felt comfortable on his own. He feels a soft, small tap on his broad shoulder. He turns expecting the quiet Mitch, but is presented with a short, sweet looking woman.
“Excuse me. Um, hi...Sorry to bother you,” she starts, eyes wide as she works to maintain eye contact with Harry as she looks up at him.
His green eyes are widened, realizing this isn’t someone he knows.
“Hello,” he says simply.
“I-” she pauses, her hands fiddling, “I’m sorry to bother you, honestly. But, your music means so much to me and I’d kick myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t say something before you left.”
He smiles, his expression softening at how genuine she sounds. “It’s quite alright.”
“It’s not though. I’m sure you’d appreciate not being bothered for once.”
“No,” he cuts her off, “I love talking with fans.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure there’s days where you wish you could just go to a random store on the coast of France - so out of the way - and not be walked up to by a random person.”
“I mean, I guess, but you seem rather nice.”
“Thanks...I’ve been a fan long enough to know that there’s people who don’t always treat you with that kind of respect. I really wouldn’t have bothered you if it wouldn’t have changed my life.”
“Don’t feel like you’re a bother, please,” he pleads lightly as he grasps her hand out of instinct, dropping it immediately when he realizes what he’s done. “It’s the people who don’t actually come up to me and treat me like an animal that are upsetting. Or the people who are only after a photo and aren’t very nice to me. You… you’re treating me like a human being. Being overly courteous -- if I’m being honest.” He chuckles lightly at the end.
She blushes at his words and smiles up at him, mirroring the soft smile on his lips. “I’m only treating you how I would want to be treated if I were in your shoes.” She glances down at his feet and notices the Gucci boots and smiles to herself, laughing lightly.
“What?”
“We’ve got the same shoes on actually.”
“No way!” His voice is playful at first as he glances down at well and realizes she’s right. He laughs at the weird little coincidence.
“I’ve had these for years, my favorite shoes…” She mumbles, seeing the ways his eyes shift  with a flash of concern. It’s what she fears he would think of her, why she was so hesitant to approach him in the first place. It’s why she had tried to hide her laugh from him when she noticed the similarity. She just wants to interact with him in a normal way. He again softens at her words, her sincerity, realizing it really just is one of those random things.
“They’re good shoes,” he laughs again, kicking his left heel with his right foot. The way she barely touched him to get his attention and the way she stays a safe distance from him is reassuring. She’s aware of his situation, yet she’s treating him with the utmost care and respect.
“So what brings you to Bayeux?” He asks, deciding he wants to continue the conversation with her. Y/N flits her eyes behind her shoulder and sees her mother watching their interaction out of the corner of her eye. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair, leaning against the counter her and Harry are at.
“Vacation, I guess. My family and I love to travel and ever since the pandemic settled down - finally, we’ve been jetting everywhere we’ve ever been or wanted to go. Seize the day vibes.” Her voice is serious, but she falters and laughs at the end. Her words are honest and she’s happy to actually get to talk to Harry more than just hello and a picture.
“I get that. You’re from America, yeah? It was really rough there for a long time.” He says solemnly, mirroring her figure, leaning against the counter, getting comfortable with her.  
She laughs again, smiling up at him, eyes sparkling, completely in love with her idol, but desperately trying to play it cool. “The accent gives it away, huh? I’m trying to fix that, get a job out of the states and never go back.”
“Hey!” Harry interjects, throwing his hand out from his stance in her direction, like he might touch her, but this time being careful to not actually. “It’s not that bad. I like your accent...And I love LA.”
She can’t stop laughing with Harry. It feels so simple and common to just be talking with him. He doesn’t seem like he’s in a rush anywhere, but she also fears to take up too much of his time. “I’m originally from up north in California actually. Living in LA right now, though. But I don’t know, I’ve just always felt like I was meant to live somewhere else. Do you know how that is? Just feeling like you’re meant for something different?”
He watches the way she moves her hands and works through her thought process. He feels like in another world they would have been close friends. The way she talks about things is so familiar to him. It’s like she’s read his mind, even though he knows for sure she hasn’t. She’s funny and laid back, yet mature at the same time. He wonders how old she is, out of college it seems if she’s trying to get a job out of the United States. He wonders what she plans to do and who she wants to become. Her aura intrigues him to no end. He thinks he could talk to her for hours.
Realizing he hasn’t made any sort of response to her somewhat philosophical question, he nods quickly, eyes blinking rapidly, his body straightening up back to his full height. “Yeah..I mean that’s how I felt about music. Like, I always felt like I was meant for something more… Turns out I was!”
They smile together again, knowing the conversation is ending. She knows he won’t keep asking questions and she doesn’t want to keep him.
He knows he can’t completely turn himself over to this stranger, she’s obviously younger than him and even though he feels connected to her, she could surprise him still. He knows he can’t talk to her forever, the cashier glancing at the pair of them every so often since they haven’t been looking at any merchandise for a while now. He knows he shouldn’t flirt with her, ask her out for coffee or anything of the sort. He simply knows this must come to an end any moment now.
“You should definitely follow your heart,... I didn’t catch your name?” He realizes when he can’t finish his sentence by calling her name.
“Oh!” She says surprisedly, not realizing she never gave her name, “Y/N. And thank you, means a lot to hear encouragement come from someone who’s been such an inspiration to me. Honestly, thank you.”
He perks at the way she says her name, again feeling like he’s known her for much longer than these five minutes.
“It’s me who should be thanking you, Y/N. Your support is what makes my life the way it is. It means a lot to me - and you truly seem like a lovely person, genuinely.”
She throws her head back in laughter at all of the words he’s saying. The way he’s trying to convey his sincerity is earnest, but his word choice is simply funny to her. Without realizing what she’s doing, she throws out her arm and her hand lands on his bicep to steady herself while laughing - something she would do with anyone normally. He doesn’t shift from her grasp when she opens her eyes and even widens them at the sight in front of her. Her hand on Harry Styles. How is this happening? She thinks as he doesn’t disintegrate underneath her touch. He’s definitely real as she feels the coat fabric and the muscles beneath it. He smiles down at her, so sweetly that his dimples pop out. She’s in awe, but has to contain the slight sense of coolness she’d been maintaining during their conversation.
She removed her hand, gingerly, “I won’t keep you any longer, Harry.” She blushes when she says his name. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to get a picture with you, but I totally understand if you’re not okay with that. I wouldn’t post it anywhere, it’s more just for me to remember this.” She rushes the last bit, feeling nervous and shy yet again. He was so big physically, but his presence was also so strong that she felt even smaller around him.
His smile calms her immediately and this time it's his hand to touch her, his hand landing over hers that’s been resting on the counter during their conversation.
“Of course,” His lips are soft and plush as they maintain his sweet smile. “Hey Mitch!” He looks over his shoulder as he calls to Mitch who has returned from the upstairs part of the shop.
Mitch blinks at the sight of Harry with a stranger before coming over, “Yeah?”
“Do you mind taking a picture of Y/N and me?”
Y/N is still in disbelief of what is going on, completely awestruck that Harry just said her name again to Mitch Rowland. And that Mitch Rowland was even in this shop with her as well. She hadn’t realized that at first. But now she was going to be forever grateful to her father for insisting they come back to Bayeux during this trip.
Mitch nods and takes her phone once she slips it out of her pocket, fingers fidgeting to get it open quickly. Mitch smiles at her reassuringly as she lets go and moves to stand beside Harry against the counter. He pulls her into his side gently and her hand goes around his waist, feeling his warmth and substantiality for the first true time. She tries to ground herself in the moment, memorizing every detail of right now. His cologne that emanates from his neck, the way the material of his jacket feels against her bare arm, the way he puffs out a slight laugh as Mitch shifts around to get most of their bodies in the frame. Oh and the way he looks when he tilts his neck to check on her and he even risks a wink of one of his emerald eyes and she promises herself she’ll never give away any of the clothes she’s wearing right now. Her nonchalant response is to wink right back and then they both smile, turning back their attention to the phone in Mitch’s hands.
Her mom had gone up to the cashier, effectively distracting them from the photoshoot that had begun to take place. Y/N never wants Harry to let go of her, but again she knows this can’t last forever. Mitch takes a couple of photos before handing the phone back. Y/N assumes that’s it and is about to thank Harry, but he speaks over her and her words die in her throat.
“How do they look?”
“Oh?” She flips through them and Harry leans over her shoulder, respectfully. “Pretty good,” she sums up, she loves them and she’d love even more, but she’d obviously never ask Harry for that.
“Pretty good?” He echoes, unsure of her response, looking from her to the photos, “Do you want to take more?”
She thinks on his offer, already knowing the right answer, “No, no. It’s all good. Thanks.”
Then turning to face Mitch, who’s been watching the pair of them converse, “Could I actually get a photo with you, Mitch? Sorry if that’s super weird, I just think you’re really cool. I had no idea you were even here until, uh, Harry called you over.” She laughs nervously, blushing yet again.
Harry laughs under his breath at how both her and Mitch blush at her words. She’s more unsure with Mitch, which he finds interesting. She had carried their conversation easily and maintained eye contact casually, but with Mitch, it was like he was her schoolyard crush, nervous hands and fleeting glances. He wondered if she genuinely only liked Harry for his music and didn’t find him physically attractive. This nagging feeling at the back of his mind perplexed him, he twitched trying to shrug it off. Why did he care if this woman found Mitch attractive and not him?  
“Yeah, of course. It’s not weird, have had plenty of people say much weirder things to me than that…” He smiles at Y/N and she mirrors his expression, but then she bites her lip. Her expression falters slightly as she processes his words. “I’m sorry if you’ve had similar experiences as Harry with so-called fans being disrespectful and inconsiderate.”
“No need to apologize, you’ve been nothing but kind and respectful,” Harry interjects
She only fidgets at his words. She’s growing slightly more nervous, being in the presence of both Mitch and Harry was starting to wear on her calm exterior. Still, Mitch trades places with Harry and Harry plucks her phone from her hands. He takes more photos than Mitch, doing close ups and full shots, causing Mitch and Y/N to laugh as they hold onto each other. He gives them little instructions on what to do in the photos and soon Y/N is rolling her eyes at Harry like she’s been best friends with him for ages. She feels like she’s just out with a couple of her friends and they decided to stop and pose for photos randomly, rather than meeting rock legends that she had only dreamt of ever seeing in real life.
When Harry is finally satisfied and comes up to the pair of them, she moves away from Mitch first, his long hair shifting as she pulls away from his side. She turns to face him immediately and starts to gush, “You’re an amazing guitarist, by the way. I forgot to say that. When I heard ‘She’ for the first time...I was blown away. The guitar on it...Feels like you’re in another universe. And it follows up ‘To Be So Lonely’ which your guitar on it is also like crazy epic. ”
Harry and Mitch laugh, but Mitch’s smile is appreciative, like he’s about to speak, but Harry speaks first, “That’s because he was in another universe. You know the story?”
She smiles and nods. Harry nods in approval. Mitch interjects, “Thank you. Also, Y/N,” he stares intently at her face and she meets his gaze this time, “You’re truly one of the kindest people - maybe the kindest - who have come up to us. And I’m not just saying that because you complimented my guitar playing.”
“He’s right,” Harry nods solemnly. Her face beams up at them both, now she really felt like this was too good to be true. Meeting her idols and having them both say very complimentary things about her, she’d cherish it forever.
“You both are amazing people and deserve to be treated as such.” Her tone is the sincerest she’s ever been, meaning every single thing she says. Then she rushes out her next few sentences, “But thank you again, seriously, you both mean a lot to me - I’ll let you get back to it...Have a nice day!”
After they say their farewells swiftly, she turns to leave and bounces over to her mother who is grinning with pride for her daughter. Before she exits completely she risks a glance over her shoulder and throws a peace sign up, Harry returns it. Then she walks out of the shop, her mother finishing up her shopping minutes ago. Mitch and Harry stay back, talking and continuing to look around the store.
Y/N tries to keep her cool until they’re out of sight of the shop. Once they round the corner and are on the next street over, she’s jumping up and down and squealing to her mom. “Can you actually believe it? What the fuck just happened? That was real right? I wasn’t hallucinating?”
Her mom laughs and reassures her it was real, “You did that, I’m so proud of you. You handled yourself very maturely”
“Well I tried! I can’t believe Mitch was there too!” She interjects, cutting off her mom, completely ecstatic from the previous experience.
“So how did the photos come out?” Her mom asks once Y/N had stopped rambling about Harry’s outfit and their matching shoes and their conversation and basically anything that had happened in the last ten minutes. They were blocks from the shop now.
“Photos?”
“Yeah, the photos you took with them. How do they look? I was ready to come over, but then that other man popped out of nowhere.”
“He’s smooth like that,” she says wistfully, her little crush on Mitch being nowhere near her love for Harry, but still present, and pats for her phone. “Oh.” She says, stopping in her tracks.
Her mother stops with her, “What?”
“I...I left my phone in the store, I guess.”
“Y/N…” Her mom drags out her name in exasperation, in awe of her daughter’s ability to be so smooth with her own idol yet how forgetful she could still be.
“Shit!” She confirms that her phone is nowhere to be found.  
“Really?” Her mother sighs, hands sitting on her hips in the center of the French street.  
“Sorry?” She asks sheepishly. In her starstruck stupor she had been too transfixed on Harry and Mitch and must have placed it down on the counter.
“Well, let’s go back,” her mother states, tired but also not completely mad. She lost her phone plenty of times and it was usually because of less acceptable reasons. Meeting your idols warranted a spacey head.
The door chimes as Y/N reenters the store, she walks quickly to wear she had her conversation with Harry almost twenty minutes ago and her mom goes to ask the clerk if they had grabbed it. It’s not on the counter where they had been leaning. She glances around checking to see if it had fallen on the ground or if by some grand luck Harry and Mitch were still there. Due to her luck, neither of these hopes came true. Her mom joins her in the area and shakes her head, the clerk hadn’t gotten any phones turned in since they had left the first time.
“Give me your phone,” Y/N says suddenly. “Find my iphone,” she explains when her mom looks at her questioningly. Checking the phone, she sighs in exasperation, silently cursing herself for not sharing her location with her mom when her phone icon says ‘location unavailable’. She rubs a hand over her face in disappointment.
“Don’t click the sound button!” Her mom says quickly, “If someone stole it, they’ll turn it off when they hear it.”
“But how am I supposed to find it? It could be here and I just can’t see it.” Her finger hovers over the ‘play sound’ button, hesitant, but desperate. She had met and gotten photos with Harry Styles and they were already gone - oh and she’d have to replace her phone, which would be terrible, as well.  
“Maybe Harry Styles has it?”
“Mom, don’t be dumb.”
“Hey! Watch your tone. I’m serious. Did he ever hand it back to you after he took those second round of pictures?”
Y/N scratches her head nervously and hands back her mom’s phone. She places both over her face and presses her fingers harshly over her eyes trying to think. She hadn’t been paying attention to her phone at the time, too busy trying to commit everything about Harry to memory in her mind so that she’d never forget it. She was sure she’d never forget today, now, even if she ever stopped loving Harry, which she was doubtful of. Hey kids, I met a rockstar and I was so starstruck I lost my phone in France! She groaned. “Oh my fucking god!”
After a few deep breaths with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, she composed herself, “We need to play the sound. Either it’s here and we’ll find it. Or - worst case scenario - it sounds and Harry Styles realizes he has my phone and we go from there… Well, I guess in the worst case scenario some jerk stole it and they turn it off and sell it for parts, but I just don’t think that’s what happened.” She bites her lip and stares at her mom, who hesitantly raises her finger to press the button that sets off the alarm on the lost phone. She clicks it after an overly dramatic pause. Y/N prays to anyone who’s willing to listen, she says in her mind, please sound the phone in here. Life would be so much simpler if it worked out the way we wanted. But, in place of the annoying echoing ring of the Find My iPhone tone there is only silence. At least there’s silence in the little shop in Bayeux.
-
In a tiny taxi cab that was headed to a small chateau outside of the town of Bayeux, the phone sounds and causes Harry to furrow his brows. He was sure he had his phone on ‘do not disturb’, but he pulls it out anyway to see why it’s making this annoying sound. What he pulls out of his coat pocket is not his phone he realizes immediately.
“Shit,” he says under his breath, still loud enough for Mitch to look over from the opposite passenger seat.
“What?”
“This isn’t my phone.”
“What?”
Harry rolls his eyes at Mitch’s repeated question and opens up his purse digging out his actual phone and holds up his and the one he had apparently stolen.
“Oh, yeah, that’s not your phone. That’s not good.”
Harry huffs as he turns the unknown phone over in his hand, the screen was a scene of a city he didn’t actually recognize - San Francisco maybe - the lavender silicone case is smooth in his hand and he notices a little sticker, it’s of Y/N and two other women. His eyes widen at it and it makes a little more sense to him. He hadn’t really stolen a phone, he just forgot to give it back. It wasn’t much better, but it was how he was going to comfort himself. Dropping his own phone in his lap, he runs his hand through his hair, rings slightly tugging at his mused curls. Then he turns the sticker to show Mitch, “It’s that girl we met, it’s her phone.”
“You stole her phone,” Mitch states. Voice deadpan and eyes boring into Harry’s.
“No!” Harry defends, but quickly slumps, “I mean, technically? Yes...But-” Mitch’s laughter cuts him off. “You’re an idiot, Harry, y’know that?”
-
“I feel like I’m on punk’d right now…” Y/N grumbles as it becomes clear that the phone is not in this shop. “If this is punk’d, at least my phone’s not actually gone,” she says to no one really. Her mom is pacing the store and stops to look at her daughter, “This is most definitely not punk’d for so many reasons, dear. Mainly because the show got canceled but also because we are in Bayeux, France not Malibu.”
“Fuck…”
She walks out of the shop, barely paying a glance to the shop keeper this time, her usual kind demeanor nowhere to be found under the piles of distress and anxiety plaguing her body.
Back out on the street she looks around, again hoping that with any luck Harry is still around and will come running up to her to give her back her phone. Again, no such luck.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” She looks to her mom helplessly, her arms flapping by her sides, defeated.
-
“What the fuck am I going to do?” Harry asks as they get out of the taxi, glancing at the purple phone in his hand.
Mitch shrugs, “Hope she has her location on?”
“Then she’s going to come here...But wouldn’t she have tried to track it first instead of playing the sound?”
“Dude, I don’t know.You can try to unlock it and find her mom’s number, get in contact with them.” Mitch sighs as they walk through the front door. “Or we can go back to town, see if they’re still there? Did you get her last name? You could find her on social media maybe?”  
“I feel terrible...She was so nice.” Harry throws his bags down on the entryway couch and begins to pace, Y/N’s phone never leaving his hand. “Could go back into town tomorrow, maybe we’ll run into each other again.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Mitch sits and runs a hand through his hair, “Just calm down, right now, Harry. There’s not much else you can do.”
He’s right and Harry tries to not fixate on the phone, but he fiddles with it for the rest of the day. He doesn’t let it leave his sight and sets it beside his bed when he gets ready to go to sleep. As he shifts in the bed, unable to fall asleep he takes the phone and begins trying to unlock it, guessing random numbers and failing miserably. Eventually, he decides he should go to bed and drifts off into an uncomfortable sleep.
-
After being unsuccessful in town, Y/N and her mom went back to the little villa they were staying at on the outskirts of Bayeux. It was located next to some vineyards that the villa co-owned with the private chateau that sat on the other side of the vines. It was beautiful and she had been so excited to be staying there. But after the events of today, she was not in the mood to join the rest of her family for dinner among the grapes. She lays on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how she had been so stupid to forget to ask for her phone back.
In the middle of the night, she wakes up in a cold sweat. She’s still in the clothes she had worn out and was laying on top of her covers at the end of her bed. All the windows of the room were closed and her shades weren’t drawn. Groggily, she rose from her uncomfortable position and changed. Moving to the window to let some air in she sees the lights flickering in a room of the private chateau across the way. She wondered why someone would willingly be up at this hour, even though she was unsure exactly what time it was without her phone. Her phone. That’s what had woken her up. She had dreamt that her mom had called her phone and the frog from the Frog and the Toad stories had picked it up. That was ridiculous, of course, but the idea to call her phone instead of just pinging it was solid. If Harry still had it, then he could pick up and they could figure out how to meet up. She decided she’d have to do that at a reasonable hour, however and moved on, opening her windows and closing the sheer shades, before getting under her covers to sleep.
-
Y/N wakes up early the next morning. Her sleep a restless one. Padding down the hall to her parent’s room, she knocks solemnly. She was far from a morning person and it was much to her mother’s surprise to see her standing in the hallway when she opened the door.
“Hey..” her voice catches in her throat, scratchy from lack of use in the night.
“Good morning, sunshine,” her mother laughs slightly, but Y/N only gives her an unamused look and walks into her room immediately searching for her mom’s phone.
“Need to use your phone, gonna call my phone,” she mutters, none of her thoughts being coherent sentences.
“Y/N, it’s 7 am. You’re going to call Harry Styles at 7 am? With your morning voice?”
Her eyes narrow and her lips form a straight line one her face, clearly not amused by her mother’s questions. Even if she knew her mom was right. She clears her throat and rolls her eyes at her mom, who is moving around the room beginning to get ready for the day as her daughter sits on the rumpled bed. Y/N’s father had already gone out to breakfast in the main area of the villa.
“Fine,” she slides off the bed when she realizes her mom isn’t offering her any more words of wisdom. “I’ll get ready for the day and then I will call my phone.”
Pattering back to her room, she slowly begins to dress and liven herself up for the day. Her hands instinctively reach out to her bedside table to pick up her phone to turn some music on, but of course she’s greeted with nothing. She groans loudly, “Of. Fucking. Course.” Shaking her head, she moves to take fresh clothes out of her suitcase.
Exiting her room again, this time far more awake, she walks down the hallway in a babydoll style top that read “Don’t play with my heart” with little girls playing racquetball with a red heart emblazoned over her chest and white jean floods. Her feet were covered in red high top converse today, matching the color of the small heart on her shirt. She liked the contrast of the white pants and the bright red of the shoes and she smiled to herself as she walked confidently into the breakfast area.
Her entire family was sitting around one of the tables, sipping coffee and eating pastries, it was now around 8:45 - a slightly more acceptable part of the day. They were all early risers, especially in comparison to her, and her older sister looks at her curiously. “What are you doing up so early, kid?” Y/N leans down to grab a slice of a peach from her brother’s place, which earns her a slight yelp of protest. She rolls her eyes at her sister and stalks off to the buffet, knowing she’s made her presence known enough.
“Can I borrow your phone now?” Y/N says after finishing a small danish and the lukewarm coffee that was at their table when she arrived. Her mother finally nods and hands it over. As Y/N grabs it, she’s already halfway out the doors that lead into the backyard of the villa. 
She stands on the grass that goes for a few feet before a hedge that separates the villa ground with the vineyard. Flipping through the contacts, she settles on hers and sighs, trying to calm her nerves. Her free hand ghosts over her hair and she uses one foot to step lightly on the heel of the other shoe. Please pick up, she sends out a prayer once again. Her last twenty-four hours seemed to consist of dreams, hopes, and prayers and she was starting to realize that she didn’t particularly like any of them. Biting her lip, she raises her phone up to her ear and gets her automatic voice message. Realizing she has her phone on ‘do not disturb’, she immediately rings herself again, knowing that it will go through this time.
-
Harry strolls out of his bathroom and widens his eyes when he hears a buzzing hear his bed. Seeing it’s Y/N’s phone he grabs it quickly and furrows his brow at the contact. Her mother’s name, but he doesn’t know that. To him it’s just a person’s name, it could be anyone she knew. Still, he thought about the odds of it being just one of her friends or her calling from someone else’s phone and decided to risk it.
“Hello?”
“Thank fucking God!” is all he hears and he’s pretty sure it’s Y/N’s voice.
“Y/N?” He laughs and takes a seat on his bed, staring out his window that opened to the vineyard.
“Yes! Harry? Hi!” She’s ecstatic that anyone picked up at all, bouncing up and down on the other side of the phone. She mutters to herself, once again, “Thank fucking God.”
“Who’s phone are you calling from?”
“Oh, my mom’s,” she says, calming down slightly as she begins to walk around the grass, unable to contain the renewed sense of energy she has.
“You don’t keep her in your contacts as ‘mum’? I almost didn’t pick up.” He tilts his head, trying to think of anyone else he knew who kept their mother’s contact as the actual name rather than ‘mum’ or some other variant of it.
“Well, thanks for picking up,” she laughs at his words, bringing her pacing to a stop to stare at the chateau across the way. “It’s really not that weird,” she insists, her arm going to cradle the elbow of the arm that holds the phone to her ear. “I don’t think any of my siblings have her as ‘mom’ in their contacts.”  
“I think it’s a little weird. I’m going to have to start asking people what they’ve got their mum down as in their phones. You’ve got me intrigued,” he muses, only slightly teasing. A smile curves onto his face as he hears her huff over the phone, obviously not liking his ribbing.
“So...you have my phone,” she changes the subject.
“Yes…” he scratches his head and she swears she could hear him awkwardly rubbing at his hair. “Sorry ‘bout that. Guess I forgot to give it back.”
“Not entirely your fault, I probably should have asked for it back. It was like twenty minutes before I even realized I didn’t have it and that was only really thanks to my mom.” She tries to not make him feel bad, because she honestly felt responsible for the mess up.
“Yeah, but I probably wouldn’t’ve realized till I got back to my place and pulled out one phone from my pocket and another one from my bag if you hadn’t tried the ‘find my iphone’ thing.”
“Oh my god, was it loud!? Did you have a hard time shutting it off?” She rushes as all the possible ways she might have annoyed Harry yesterday run through her mind.
“No, no, it was fine,” he reassures her, laughing lightly, standing up now and beginning to pace in front of his window. “Felt like a proper dick, though. Never in my life have I forgotten to give someone their phone back.” He sighs and stops in front of the window, deciding to open it for some fresh air.
Her gaze flits to a movement on the second floor of the chateau, someone opening up their window apparently. The long paned windows flip open and the little sheer curtains flutter in the slight morning breeze.
“So are you still in Bayeux?” Harry asks, hoping her answer is ‘yes’ as he takes in a deep breath of the air from outside.
“Yeah. Are you still here?” She asks timidly, moving her gaze down to her shoes bright red sticking out of the green grass. “Because that will make getting my phone back much easier,” she adds, clarifying that it’s not supposed to be a personal question, just simply a logistical one. Even if her heart skips a beat at the thought of seeing Harry again.
“Yes, I am. Well...just outside the town actually.”
“You don’t say? I’m staying just outside of town, too. At a little villa located next to a vineyard,” She looks around her surroundings again, walking the length of the garden once more. A movement from the same room that had opened their windows at the chateau catching her eye once again. A man, with his arm placed on the sill, leaning out slightly.
“You’re not wearing red shoes by any chance?” He smiles and she can hear the way it affects his words. Looking out of the window, he eyes the villa and the person who was pacing around its patio, seemingly on the phone.
Her brows raise and she stops in her tracks. “Did you just open your window?”
The only response from Harry that she hears is a soft chuckle. But, more importantly, the man in the chateau is waving to her. She grins and waves her free hand over her head, doing a slight jump to make sure he sees her. His laughter only grows, crackling slightly over the telephone line.
“What are the odds?” She breathes out after a moment. Her waving hand fell to her side and she looked at the figure in the window. It wasn’t exactly clear to her that it was Harry, but the way the man was hunched was enough to convince her. She vaguely sees him shake his head in agreement at the serendipitous nature of their current situation.
“Have you had a chance to dine in the vineyard yet?” Harry bites his lip after he asks the question, feeling a little more confident in his flirtation over the phone.
“I have - only once for dinner. Last night I was so stressed I couldn’t eat.”
“What do you think about lunch in the vineyard?” He’s smiling now, the charm dripping in every word he says. His accent is music to her ears and she thinks how could she ever say no to that offer.  
“I don’t know...lunch with my phone thief?” She imitates an unsure tone. Her tease is lighthearted and Harry huffs, playfully indignant.
“As an apology for keeping your phone by mistake,” he adds, emphasizing the ‘by mistake’ part.
“As long as I can get my phone back, I’m up for anything you want,”  She laughs, but then blushes at the innuendo that could be found in her words. Harry hears it and an amused look spreads across his face, the definition of anything running through his mind as well as his assured belief that Y/N did not mean what she had just implied. “I mean! Not anything, I just...Lunch in the vineyard would be lovely, Harry.” She sighs, a hand trailing down her face at her complete foolishness.
“Great. How does one o’clock sound?” He moves on from her slip, not wanting to embarrass her anymore. Especially when he was the one to cause this entire situation.
“Sounds smashing, Mr. Thief,” She breathes out, but laughs when she hears Harry groan.
“You’re something else, missy.”
“I know.” She rolls her eyes, trying to contain her giggles at their playful back and forth.
“See you at one.” He says finally.
“See you at one.” She echoes, continuing to watch him in the window. Neither of them seem to move to hang up. She’s stood in place and so is he, his head hanging out of the window now, resting himself on his arm. It’s just their breathing exchanging over the line and some gusts of wind crackling the connection every so often.
“Are you going to hang up?” She whispers, after a minute of complete silence, her voice coming out impossibly small.
“Thought you would’ve by now.”
“I don’t know why I can’t.” She admits, but she just feels weird hanging up on him even if they have plans to see each other later.
“Me neither.” His response causes her to tilt her head in confusion. Why would he have trouble hanging up on her?
“Okay.”
Then, it’s quiet again. Both of them shifting their bodies around, yet still managing to stay on the line. Y/N is the one who hangs up the phone after hearing Harry’s breath shake slightly, like he’s steeling himself to actually hang up. She realizes that while she doesn’t want to hang up on him, she’d rather do it than have him hang up on her. If that made any sense. She wasn’t sure, but the way he had invited her to lunch, it just felt like he had shifted their relationship from fan and star to something else. Something she didn’t fully grasp, but whatever it was made her stomach flip.
-
She informed her family that she wouldn’t be going out with them today and that she was getting her phone back, but not that she would be having lunch with Harry. She had no idea what they would think about it, but she didn’t want to give them the chance to inform her.
Walking through the vineyards, she watches the slight dust from the dirt gather on her shoes, the red converse. She had settled on what she had been wearing originally after changing her outfit upwards of twenty times. Best to be casual, she thought, like it was no big deal that she was about to dine with a musician whom she loved.
There was only one table on this side of the vineyard, it was the part owned by the chateau, a couple rows from where the villa had their tables. The simple cream tablecloth laid across the wooden table that had two matching wooden chairs with cream cushions placed around it. On top of the table was a picnic basket and a bottle of red wine, made from the grapes in the vineyard. And in one of the chairs sat Harry. Big square green glasses perched on his nose as he looked up at the sky. Y/N takes in his appearance, his cream shirt with stitched patterns on it, half unbuttoned to grant a full view of his swallows and butterfly as well as baggy light wash ripped jeans and dirty white vans. His shirt almost matches the tablecloth, but she’s not sure if he would take that as a compliment.
He hadn’t noticed her presence and he rubs his lips together, smoothing the lip balm he had applied before settling outside.
“Mr. thief?” She touches lightly on his shoulder, similar to how she had done yesterday. His head shoots up and he readjusts in his chair, to sit up slightly more upright. A smile curves onto his face and he moves his glasses up into his hair, pushing his curls back behind them.
“Y/N,” he drags out her name, toying with the sound of it. His eyes flit over her figure, taking in her outfit but quickly run back to her beautiful face. He motions for her to take a seat and she complies.
“The red shoes,” he smiles, glancing at her shoes. She laughs and does a little click of her heels.
“Can’t believe my phone was less than a mile away from me last night.”
“Oh! Your phone!” Harry’s eyes widened, “I forgot it in my room!”
Y/N laughs, her smile spreading on her face immediately, but her face falls when she sees Harry isn’t laughing. “You can’t be serious.” Harry says nothing, a blush creeping up his neck. “Harry…” she doesn’t know what else to say, scratching at the back of her head. “I guess stars really are just like us, complete space cadets.”
“I’m sorry! I was..distracted.”
She can’t keep herself from laughing and she places her hand over Harry’s on the table, trying to calm him down. “No worries, seriously, I was just teasing you. I’ve gone this long without my phone, an hour or so more won’t kill me.”
He smiles sheepishly, mentally kicking himself for how foolish he had made himself look. “Sorry ‘bout that. Seems like I’m really trying to keep your phone, doesn’t it?”
“Kind of...but I don’t think there’s anything in particular on there that you’d really be interested in having access to.”
He grabs the bottle of wine and takes the temporary cork off, he had previously uncorked it before Y/N had arrived. He pours the wine and then quirks a brow towards her. “I’m sure you’ve got some funny notes on there, you’re hilarious.”
She scoffs as his look is serious. Picking her glass up, she clinks it with Harry’s and takes a sip. She hums at the taste, judging the flavor and deeming it good. He watches her as she makes her silent decision and smirks at the way she smiles to herself. Coming back to the conversation she makes eye contact with Harry as she sets the glass down and leans back in her chair.
“You barely know me.” A coy smile flits across her features now. Harry’s heart skips a beat at her tone. He had been expecting some lighthearted quip, but this held something far more intense. It’s still teasing, but it’s far closer to flirting than friendly joking.
He begins to unpack the basket and place food onto the table, eyes constantly flickering between his task and Y/N. Her eyes are fixated on his hands, the way they flex and move and the way his rinks clink against the containers he’s moving around.
“Then tell me about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything.” He finishes placing the food on the table and removes the basket from the table so there’s nothing obstructing their view of each other.
“Very specific,” she takes a sip of her wine again, refraining from rolling her eyes. It was easy to talk to Harry, like they had been friends forever.
Harry lets out one of his loud single laughs. “See! You’re hilarious.” His compliment makes her finally roll her eyes playfully. Instead of responding, she puts some food onto the plate in front of her and takes a bite of a peach slide she had grabbed.
“You’re a flirt,” she says finally, her smile spreading across her face.
“That’s a fact ‘bout me not you, love.”
She bites her lip. For being extremely forgetful, Harry was also extremely charming. “Well, I’m not a fan of flirts.”
“I thought you said you were a massive fan yesterday?” He tilts his head to the side and looks at her with an inviting look in his eye, obviously trying to goad her.
She let out a gasp at his words and began to blush. His stare felt like a second sun boring straight into her, its heat traveling directly to her core. Trying to maintain her collected appearance that she had played so well yesterday, she takes a breath and another sip of wine. The liquid ran down her throat, soothing her. Shaking her head she says, “You know what I meant.”
Biting a piece of bread, Harry nods and shoots her a wink. Her legs instinctively shift together. Finishing his chewing, he speaks up, “Okay, but seriously, tell me more about yourself.”
They settle in, getting more serious and having an actual conversation rather than flirty comments shot back and forth. By the end of the bottle of wine, Harry and Y/N are cackling about some story she’s told about her first solo trip to Amsterdam and all the trouble she got into being a twenty year old college student with easy legal access to weed.
“I remember the first time I went to Amsterdam with the band,” Harry easily segways into his own story and she perks at the words ‘the band’. After all the fun they had been having talking and getting to know each other, the idea that Harry was a famous musician had left her mind completely. For the last forty-five minutes he had just been a really nice guy who was treating her to lunch.
She looks at him expectantly. “It was crazy cool, I think I was only seventeen then? But everyone else was over 18 so they bought us a bunch of pot and we smoked it and got high off our asses. Can barely remember what we talked about, but we definitely thought it was the smartest shit ever”
“Do you ever miss that?”
He finishes off his last bit of wine, “Being young and dumb?”
“No, the, like, relationship you had with them. I don’t mean to pry, but I feel like with any close relationship, when you stop being together all the time...it’s never the same.”
Harry sighs, thinking over what you had said, now knowing it was rather serious and not just about being young. He runs a hand through his soft curls before starting his response. “Short answer is yes. But, y’know, they were my family for so long and that bond doesn’t go away, even if we go through rough patches. Like that part of my life is such an essential part of who I am, I could never throw it away or discount it. I don’t know if I miss it all of the time though. I really like who I am right now.”
She nods, finishing her wine now too. Her body is fuzzy and warm under the soft light of the afternoon. Sharing a bottle of wine was enough to make her tipsy, but she felt sober enough to carry on their serious conversation. “That’s good. It’s important to like who you are right now. It’s how you know you’re ready to be there for others.” She says thoughtfully and then adds, “I like who I am right now, too.”
Harry smiles at her, a calm expression maintaining on his face, and twists his rings on his fingers. “That’s good,” he echoes. “Do you want to go for a walk?” His voice is soft and of course she’s going to say yes.
Her response is to stand up from the table and begin putting things back into the picnic basket. Harry watches her for a moment, taking in the way she moves with so much elegance even when doing such a mundane task. He is honestly so happy that he had gotten to see her again. She had intrigued him yesterday, but he had just expected her to be one of those fleeting thoughts in his mind. Now he wasn’t so sure. He had a feeling she would live in his memory for far longer. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll come back later and grab it all.”
“You set this all up, the least I can do is clean up a little,” She looks up at him from her crouched position as she packs up the leftover food into the basket still on the ground. Her hair is slightly falling into her face and she reaches to push it behind her ear while they continue to look at one another. Harry takes his lower lip into his mouth as he continues to look at her, trying to convince himself she’s not the most beautiful woman he’s ever met.
As they walk between the grapes, they continue to talk, further investigating Y/N’s job aspirations and what Harry was planning on for his next few weeks of vacation. He leads them down a dirt path after they cross the street, moving away from both the villa and the chateau. The path has tall grass flanking its sides that pushes around in the cool summer breeze. She mentions the beautiful sound of the birds chirping and Harry agrees. They walk until they reach the small lake that’s about a ten minute walk from their respective current residences. It’s not a lake for swimming so there’s no one around, just more tall grass, some small trees, and the animals.
“It’s really so beautiful here.”
“I love it a lot, I’ve been coming down here every evening and just sitting alone for an hour or so,” Harry motions to the little wooden bench located beneath a shady tree. She looks at him questioningly, unsure if he means for them to sit. He takes her hand in response and leads them over to it. It’s right before the edge of the pond and if their legs were just a bit longer they could touch the feet into the water.
“It’s nice,” She says, turning her attention from the scenery to stare at Harry, who she finds is already looking at her. Their eyes meet and she bites her lip. He’s so close to her. Closer than they were in the shop yesterday and now their faces are on the same level. His glasses are still pushed into his curls and she decides to pluck them from his head and place them over her eyes instead. Harry protests, but she says smugly, “I’m putting them to better use than just sitting a top that head of yours. It’s quite bright out.”
Harry leans into her, extending his arm behind her and resting it on the back of the bench. She sighs peacefully, with her gaze now hidden behind the glasses. She returns her gaze out against the water and tries to shift closer to Harry casually. They stay silent, listening to the rest of the world moving around them. Soon she’s resting nestled into his side and his arm has moved from the bench to rest around her shoulders. She exhales in contentment, but neither of them have said anything for a while. They were okay with it, being held was enough. Her right hand goes up and threads with Harry’s that is hanging limply against her.
After a few more minutes of silence, Harry decides he wants to talk. “I like being around you.”
“I like being around you too, Harry. You’re different than I had expected.”
“Really?”
“Yeah..I mean there’s that sinister quote about how you should never meet your heroes. But still, you were even kinder than I expected and even though you stole my phone,” she pauses to laugh,”it kind of turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I got to see you again.”
“Thanks…” Harry sighs and she turns her face to gaze up at him. “Well, yeah, now I’m sorta glad I did take your phone. You’re really wonderful.” She smiles and he smiles just as wide.
But then her smile falters, suddenly remembering everything. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy, she mentioned that thing about heroes and it all came crashing down around her. Yes, it was amazing to be around Harry and it was great that he had been so down to earth. But what she had just said was true too. He was her hero, he was famous and their lives didn’t connect at all. Just that one fleeting moment in the shop. If she hadn’t known him they would have never interacted. She had even been on her last legs of being in that store, she was just about to ask her mom to leave when Harry had walked through the door.
She sits up and drops her hand from his and he looks at her confused. “Did I say something wrong?” He asks, concerned. She stands up now and walks the short distance to the edge of the water, pushing his glasses on top of her head. He follows quickly, growing anxious as she stays silent. “I just..” she laughs in spite of herself, “I just feel really dumb right now.”
“What? Why?” Harry’s really confused now, she won’t meet his gaze as he faces her trying to figure out what just happened.
“I can’t believe I fooled myself into thinking for even a second this could ever be something more.” She turns to Harry finally, looking him directly in the eye, even though her eyes are prickling with tears. She’s angry with herself, not Harry. “You’re you and I’m just a fan at the end of the day. All of the flirting and touching, it can’t be anything more. At most, I’m a one night stand. And as great as that would be in the moment, I know how I feel about you and I know it would ruin me. I can’t be a fling for you, Harry. I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” he grabs her arm, trying to comfort her, she shrugs him off. “You’re more than a fan to me, I thought that was obvious by now. You wouldn’t be some meaningless one night stand. When I say I like being around you, I mean I like you, Y/N.” His voice is strong yet soft. He needs to convince her that she can feel comfortable around him, but he sees the darkness in her eyes, how scared she is of being hurt.
“I don’t fit into your life, Harry.” She shakes her head, moving her hands more as she grows more anxious.
“That’s not true. You told me you want to move to England, we could see each other there and see if this was anything.”
She knows he’s right, that it was possible, but she had worked herself up so much now that she had a hard time believing it. She takes a deep breath, “Just answer me this. Would you have given me a second glance if I hadn’t come up to you in that shop yesterday? Or a second thought if there hadn’t been the phone mishap?”
Harry is taken aback. Her words had nothing to do with what he had just said. He had thought his solution was actually really great, a plan he had been meaning to tell her if the rest of the day had gone accordingly, which it didn’t seem to be doing. He pauses and if Y/N was anymore distraught that would have been her cue to leave. Thankfully, she had grounded herself enough in the situation to not let her hot head get in the way of this conversation.
“That’s a pretty unfair question, Y/N. It’s not like I’m constantly looking for someone to fancy.”
“Just answer the questions.”
“Probably not, about the first one, I hadn’t even noticed anyone in the shop before you came up to me. I was off in my own world.” She nods, taking his words into account. He continues, “But yes, about the second one, I thought about you in the car ride home before your phone even rang. Like I said, I like you.”
“Okay.” She softens.
“That’s it?”
“I mean you’re right. We could see each other in London and see if this is something. I just had to know about the other stuff, it was racing through my mind and I wouldn’t get over it unless you gave me an answer.”
“Oh, so can I kiss you?” His words broke the uncomfortable tension that had surrounded them.
“You still want to?” Her voice is small and unsure. The most nervous she had been around Harry was right now.  
“I want to do so much more than that, darling, you have no idea.” He cups her cheek and wraps an arm around her waist. She giggles in nervous anticipation. Then his lips gently push onto hers and she sighs into the kiss. At the edge of the lake, the pair of them taste each other for the first time. Tongues begin licking into each other’s mouths and the kiss becomes breathless. Her hands are at the base of his neck, tugging him closer to her while he tightens his grasp around her waist. She moans slightly when Harry nips at her lower lip and he smirks, happy with the sound she makes.
“We should probably go get my phone.” Harry whimpers at her words.
“What?” Harry is once again confused by the woman before him, who had now pulled from their kiss.
“My phone is in your room…” She trails off and then eyes widen and he giggles excitedly. Eventually realizing what she’s implying.
“Yes! Yes, we should go do that. Get your phone. In my room. Sounds like a good idea. Mhmm.” He pecks her lips between each sentence.
“You’re so weird,” she laughs and brings down his shades onto her face once again. He pulls her into his side and kisses the top of her head as they begin their walk back to the chateau.
“Do you want your phone or not?”
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hawkwhore · 4 years
Note
hi hi hi could i request a hawk imagine where it’s an enemies to lovers kinda thing, so hawk is still in cobra kai and y/n is in miyagi do. basically tori hurts her and he sees her after and gets protective over her, then they get close and kinda secretly date... something like that haha THANK YOUUU <33333
Do Better — Eli Hawk Moskowitz x Female!Reader
HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I literally had an entirely different fic at like 8k words for this before I decided it didn’t fit close enough to the prompt and I just completely started over and this one was even longer than the first so that’s why it took me literal ages LOL.
includes; swearing, fluff, fighting, so much angst
words; 11,394 (im sorry its a whole ass novel)
this takes place late s2, after demetri and hawk’s friendship ends but before eagle fang forms!
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Most of your time in high-school you spent in a bubble, keeping to yourself and just your few friends. You didn’t involve yourself in other people’s crap very often, but when an all-out karate war happened at the end of your junior year, you couldn’t keep lurking in the shadows anymore.
Bullying was becoming heavy at your school, and while you weren’t usually a target, you grew tired of watching other people get hurt. Primarily, by a familiar face to you-- Eli Moskowitz.
Not that you knew him particularly well, but you remembered the shy boy you’d shared classes with, and you always tried your best to be nice to him knowing how others treated him.
You never would’ve thought that now he’d be the bully, destroying the confidence of other kids who were just like him.
“Look at this kid,” He laughed to his friend, Mitch. The two boys were standing in the hall, hovering over a small, scrawny boy who looked terrified. “You wanna be in Cobra Kai? Well, see, we had to be un-flinched first. We can do that for you right now, though. See how much you can take.” He teased, threatening a punch, watching the boy wince at his movement.
When you were in the halls on your way to your next class, you witnessed this horrible incident. You watched for a moment, before deciding that it was time for you to step out of your bubble. “Hey, leave him alone.” You said annoyedly, urging the boys to give it up.
Hawk turned to you and leered, and Mitch pushed the kid against the locker so he wouldn’t move while they dealt with you. “Be careful who you talk to like that, princess.” He moved dangerously close, and despite the feelings of anger you had towards him, your stomach dropped a little at the nickname.
Not letting it affect you, you came back bitterly. “Oh yeah? And who am I talking to, Eli?” His face contorted in disgust at the use of his real name. “You know, it’s sad, how you became everything you used to despise. I remember the other side of you, you were sweet..” You said, smiling to your self in remembrance. “And now look at you.” Looking at him in resentment, you finished.
Turning angrily on his heel at your words, Hawk punched the boy in the face and let him go running. He looked back at you with a look of victory, and Mitch smirked. “You better watch your back.” Hawk said threateningly, and knocked his shoulder into yours as he walked to his class.
Through the rest of the day, Hawk thought about you. He knew who you were; Y/N, the only girl to ever be nice to him during his shier days. He remembered the feeling he got any time you’d talked to him, and also how pretty you looked each time you did.
He had almost forgotten until then, how much he had always admired you. He even wanted to ask you out all that time ago, but now too much has changed. Way too much, clearly, because when the commercial for Miyagi-Do came out, you were quick to join.
It was that interaction with Hawk that really set you off, actually. You wanted to be able to stop the cruelty, and you thought that joining Miyagi-Do for defense would be a good start.
Little did you know, the rivalry would only grow.
As weeks passed, Miyagi-Do gained students and flourished. But in the meanwhile, Cobra Kai only got rougher, angrier, and just.. worse, in general.
You had done your best to avoid fights, (like a true Miyagi-Do would) but on a particularly bad day of yours, you were unlucky enough to find yourself running into Tory outside of school.
Being close friends with Sam, you knew to stay clear of Tory after hearing what she did to her. You thought Tory was a vile human being, though, and if she were to start anything-- she was probably the one person you wouldn’t hesitate to absolutely destroy.
When on your way to the dojo, you took a pit stop at a convenience store to pick up some snacks since you had some time to kill between after school and when practice started. You were met with an unpleasant surprise on your way out, when you saw Tory approaching the store.
The two of you made eye contact as you crossed paths, and you decided to ignore her and keep walking. Until, as you walked past each other, Tory stuck out her leg and tripped you over the concrete pathway.
“Are you kidding me, bitch?” You pushed yourself up, scoffing at her, and she smiled maniacally. “What’d you just call me?” She teased, obviously looking for a fight.
As much as you wanted to stay calm, you were pushed over the edge. “You heard me, bitch.” You repeated, letting her know you were not afraid. “What’s your problem? I keep away from you and you just can’t help yourself from starting something. I’ve never even done anything to you.” You confronted Tory, looking for an explanation for her behavior.
It was true, you’d hardly ever interacted with her-- but since you’re in Miyagi-Do and friends with Sam, she just didn’t like you. And Tory being Tory, if she didn’t like someone, she was going to be a bitch about it.
She laughed at your attempt to reason with her, and looked at you in self-satisfaction. “I just think it’d be fun to watch you bleed.” She seemed proud at the insult, stepping forward threateningly-- but you thought it was pretty lame.
Clearly, she had no real answer for the questions you asked her. She was far gone in her own world, using only anger to dictate her decisions.
You had let out a disappointed sigh, shaking your head, and turned to simply leave the situation, remembering that it wasn’t worth it. But Tory had other plans.
She grabbed your wrist, twisting it painfully forcing your body to face her. You quickly rotated it to release yourself from her grip, and punched her in the face with your newly freed hand.
“Leave me alone, Tory. This fighting for no reason crap is bullshit.” You said, stepping out of her proximity and holding your fists up in case of needed defense. Tory felt blood trickle from her nose, and as she wiped it from her face, she threw you a sickening sneer.
Seemingly avid on letting her rage out on you, she only continued. “You’re pathetic.” She cackled, taking a swing at you. You blocked this, but the movement left an opening for her to then kick your stomach, which sent you to the ground.
Before you could manage to get up again, she was hovering over you, punching your face repeatedly. It wasn’t until the pain was sinking in that you finally gained enough power to push her off, rolling forward and pinning her down tightly.
You grabbed a fistful of her hair, turning her face towards the ground. “Give it up, Tory.” She stayed quiet, breathing heavily, until she used her remaining strength to free her arm and dig her elbow into your side.
You fell back at this, and you were now both sat on the ground, mere inches from each other. “Seriously, I mean what’s the point? What are you gaining from this besides a couple of bruises?” You stood up, asking again.
You genuinely wanted to know, what could make a person so heartless. You had done nothing to provoke her, yet she was so intent on hurting you. Your question had unfortunately only sparked her rage again, the way you acted so ‘above it all,’ in Tory’s mind made her only angrier.
She rose, charging towards you for another strike, when the owner of the convenience store came out. “What the hell is this? Do I need to call the police?” The man asked. He had caught you in the blocking position of Tory’s attack, and she bitterly pushed herself off of you.
“You got lucky.” She spat, walking back towards the store she was originally on her way into. “Think about it, Tory! Why?” You yelled as she walked away, wanting your final words to sink into her.
You assured the owner that you were fine, and that he didn’t need to get the cops involved. You took out your phone and checked your complexion in the front camera, cringing seeing the cuts and bruises from Tory’s punches all over your face.
But remembering the bloody nose you had given her in your first punch, you smiled to yourself. Looking at your phone’s clock, you had certainly killed the time, but much more than you had wanted to. You were going to be late, so you texted Sam, alerting her that you got in a fight (sparing the details for later,) and that you would be late to practice.
You figured you could just clean up your cuts when you got home, it wasn’t a big deal, probably. But on your walk to the dojo, a passing car slowed at the sight of you. You started walking faster, instantly assuming the worst, but when the window rolled down, you heard a familiar, extremely unpleasant voice. Hawk.
“On your way to practice, huh? Still no car?” He taunted, knowing you still hadn’t saved up enough to buy your own. You glanced at him and rolled your eyes, continuing to walk down the sidewalk. How many enemies were you going to bump into today?
That was when he noticed your face. “Jesus, Y/N, what happened to you?” He laughed, fully stopping the car. You halted and responded annoyedly, “Tory happened. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late.” Turning back towards the walkway, you continued down the street.
But before you could get far, Hawk had gotten out of his car and caught up to you. “You’re not seriously headed to the dojo like that are you?” He said confusedly, trying to keep up with your pace.
You looked at him like his question was stupid, and continued walking. At your ignoring of him, he pushed his point further. “You need to clean those cuts.” He said, still following close behind you as you walked.
“Since when do you care?” You said irritated, continuing to disregard the boy’s words. At this, he finally stopped following. “You know what, fine.” He stood, speaking sharply, and you looked at him curiously at his abruptness. “Just trying to help, or, be nice or whatever.” He muttered aggravatedly, raising his hands in mocking surrender at your attitude.
You had ignored his concerns, because quite honestly you didn’t believe he was actually concerned. You had assumed it was some sort of set up for a new insult, or a way to just mess up your face even more.
“Oh yeah? That’s pretty unusual for you, isn’t it?” You said rudely, engaging back in the conversation. Hawk pursed his lips together and shifted uncomfortably.
You didn’t know it, but Hawk still cared about you. He may have changed, but his feelings for you hadn’t— as much as he tried to get them to. And right now, seeing you hurt, and since there was nobody around to judge him for it, he wanted to help you.
“Look, I’ve got some first aid stuff in my car. Let me help.” He stayed where he was, not wanting to provoke you, and spoke softly, nudging his head towards his car.
You narrowed your eyes looking at him, feeling skeptical of accepting the invitation. He noticed your hesitation, but did not back down, looking at you expectantly for an answer.
You let out an exasperated sigh, and walked towards his car without saying a word. Continuing to argue with him about it seemed like a waste of time to you at this point.
Hawk smiled to himself in relief that you gave in. Hurrying after you, he retrieved the first aid kit from the trunk of his car and ran to open the passenger seat door.
“You wanna sit?” He pointed at the seat, motioning you to take it. You dropped your bag and got in the car, still glaring at Hawk.
He seemed sincere in his intentions, but you really just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Who knows what he could really be planning?
As you took your seat, you reached out to take the kit from Hawk’s grasp. “Hold on,” he said, moving the box away from your reach.
You gave him a bothered look, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion. “Have you ever even done this before?” He said, referring to cleaning up after a fight.
“No?” You shrugged, “It can’t be that hard.” You said impatiently, reaching for the box again. “Can you please just let me do it? I’ll show you how for next time.” He practically pleaded, wanting to make sure it was done right so you healed properly.
You didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to him, but you were tired of going back and forth with him. “Whatever, just make it quick. I’ll miss all of karate class at this rate.” You complained, moving closer to the edge of the seat so Hawk could reach you.
The height of his car made you two the same height, so Hawk was face to face with you as you were seated. “Hmm, miss a Miyagi-Do lesson? I don’t see the problem.” He joked, almost making light of their rivalry.
You smiled lightly at that, playfully rolling your eyes, but not saying anything. He stood close enough to examine your face, and it was close enough to make you both nervous.
It was silent as he opened the kit and started to clean your cuts, but you broke it to ask a question that was burning in you. “Why are you doing this?”
He looked at you for a second, looking reluctant to answer your question. “What do you mean?” He dodged, continuing to tend to your bruises.
You laughed, knowing full well he knew what you meant, but deciding to answer him anyway. “Why are you helping me? We aren’t friends.” You said plainly, making sure to keep your face still.
“I don’t know, you just obviously needed it.” He brushed off the seriousness of the question, starting to dab the cloth over your lip so you couldn’t talk.
You pushed his hand away lightly. “That’s hardly an answer. You’d never help a Miyagi-Do, so why?” You snapped, not letting his hand near your face again until he answered.
He finally took a step back, and stared at you looking defeated. “You’re the only one who was ever nice to me. Before.. this.” He pointed to his hair, referring to the era of The Hawk.
You crossed your arms skeptically. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” You asked expectantly, and he rolled his eyes. “Demetri’s different, okay? He betrayed me. But you..”
He trailed off, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. “You were never anything but good to me. You deserve better.” He said, and your heart both stung and fluttered at once, trying to figure out what was going on with him.
You wondered if his actions were truly coming from a place of sincerity. It was very unlike him to be anything but an asshole, so hearing something like that come out of his mouth really made you think.
He tried to ignore the sentiment he had just said by walking back towards you and starting to tend to your wounds again, but you only pushed him back for a second time.
“I don’t understand what happened to you.” You said sadly, examining the way he stood. “I changed.” He said monotonously, trying to avoid matching your energy of seriousness.
His hot-and-cold temper was starting to annoy you, the way he would open up just to close right back down again.
“Yeah, and not for the better. Are you even happy?” You said, frustrated, looking at him hard. His face turned sour.
“More than I was before!” He yelled, stepping towards you threateningly. You were taken aback at his outburst, suddenly feeling small as he grew angrier. “My life was hell, remember?” His voice cracked, and he tried to calm himself as he saw the way you leaned back into your seat uncomfortably.
“Look, I’m sorry for keeping you, I probably cleaned you up enough so... just go.” He said softly, sounding regretful as he moved out of the way so you could get out of the car.
You furrowed your brows in confusion. You felt completely clueless on how he was feeling, and you didn’t want to leave it like this. “Hawk-“, you started, but he cut you off. “No, just go.” He pointed away. “I was stupid to think I’d get a second chance with you.” He muttered to himself, turning to walk around to the drivers seat of his car.
“Wh— second chance? What do you mean?” You shouted after him and hopped off the seat, grabbing his arm before he could get too far.
At your tug of his arm, he looked back at you with the most intense feeling in his eyes. Not wanting to use his words anymore, Hawk turned to grab your wrist from the hand that was already resting on his arm, and pulled you against him.
Hawk smashed his lips onto yours, holding you loosely in fear of your rejection. You weren’t expecting it, but you didn’t pull away. Your kiss continued and you subconsciously shuffled backwards, now being able to lean against the side of the car as he grew more passionate in his movements.
Being with him like this felt amazing, but it was confusing, too-- you had to pull away and clear up this situation.
Finally letting each other go, Hawk looked at you with glossy eyes. You had no idea where all of this came from or what to say, so you were silent as you waited for him to explain.
He knew what you were waiting for, and sighed deeply before expressing how he felt. “I just feel like after everything, I owe you my best.” Hawk said quietly, and you waited for him to go on, having not yet made up your mind on the whole situation.
You enjoyed the kiss, yes-- but you didn’t understand why it had happened, and that was something you needed to know before anything could proceed further. Hawk was a jerk, and he was going to have a lot of explaining to do for you to suddenly be able to forget that.
He moved even closer, and reached his hand out to brush your hair away from your face. “And I don’t like seeing you hurt.” He whispered, ghosting his fingers across the bruises on your face.
You felt a shiver down your spine as he touched you, closing your eyes in the moment. “And,” he pulled away from you, his voice changing to a more regular tone again, “I don’t ever want to be the reason you feel pain. Not after all those times you helped me escape mine.” He said, reaching out to hold your hand, as he referred to how you were there for him so long ago.
Pure concern and care for Hawk overtook you as the words left his lips, and you had never felt so conflicted in your life. It made sense to you now why he would often avoid you, whereas others he’d make it his mission to pick fights with.
He had just admitted to caring about you, and that he never wanted to be at fault for your hurt. He had a reputation to uphold, but he really did have a soft spot for you that never went away.
You felt like you were talking to Eli again, as though the sweet boy he once was had never left, but you also knew that once this moment was over, he’d go back to his corrupt ways again. And that terrified you.
All these new feelings for Hawk were rising in you, but how could you act on them when he was supposed to be your enemy?
He studied your expression, waiting for you to say something. He felt more confident now, seeing as you kissed him back, but he was still nervous for whatever you were about to say.
“What do we do?” You spoke shakily, your expression timid and lost. He caressed his thumb over your hand, noticing your own nerves. “What do you mean?” He asked, not expecting that to be your first question.
“I’ve always cared about you and you know that, but then you go through all these changes and become a total dick, and now you kiss me and tell me how you care too.” You say awkwardly, trying to point out the weirdness of the situation. “I’m confused, Hawk, and afraid. We can’t be together when everything about our lives will keep us apart.” You whimpered, scattering your eye contact.
His heart leapt at the mention of you two being together, but frowned once registering the context of the words. He suddenly felt guilty, seeing how distressed you were. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this, he thought.
But it was too late now, and as he released your hand to move forward and hold you, he never wanted to let go.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into your ear. He knew his recent actions since joining Cobra Kai weren’t exactly admirable-- he knew he should do better. But it was hard; and all he could muster right now, was an apology.
There was a lot to process in such a short moment of time, and you felt overwhelmed. You felt comforted and safe as he held you, but at the same time you felt wrong for feeling that way.
Maybe he was trying to do right by you, but would that be enough if he continued to act terribly when everyone else was around? You needed some time to think. “I should go.” You pulled away from his grasp, trying to be gentle even though your exit was abrupt.
“Oh,” he nodded, watching as you picked up your karate bag. “I just don’t want everyone at the dojo to worry.” You said, trying to rid the conversation of its tension.
He was trying to play it cool, but he was screaming on the inside, terrified that once you left you would never talk to him again. “Just promise you’ll fix that when you get home.” Referring to your still-slightly-messed-up face, he urged you, unable to refrain from making sure you took care of yourself.
You smiled sadly and nodded in response, feeling awkward about everything as you turned to walk back on your route towards the dojo. “And um,” You looked back at him once more. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” You said, assuming he wouldn’t want his Cobra Kai friends to find out he had kissed a Miyagi-Do.
His heart broke when you said this-- you basically thought he was ashamed of you? In a way you were right, he didn’t want them to know. But the guilt that spread across his face at your words, showed how badly he wanted to tell everyone just how much he liked you.
Clearing his throat, he tried to pull himself together again. “Right, yeah. See you.” He said, and watched you for a moment as you walked away.
Getting back into his car, he fought the emotions threatening to spill out, and pushed them away as he headed home. He couldn’t stop thinking about his next move, and what would happen next time he saw you.
Obviously the first thing he would want to do is kiss you, and hold you, and touch you.. but he knew that instead he would likely end up being encouraged by his friends to attack you in some way.
He couldn’t just say, ‘back off guys, she’s cool, i like her now.’ because that would definitely earn him a beating and a seat at the rejects table. He had been fighting these feelings for so long because of this exact reason, and he was pissed at himself that he couldn’t have just kept it under control for longer.
It would have been easier for him, and you. Even you were worrying as you walked to practice about what you were going to do when you saw him again. Your friends may be more forgiving than Hawk’s, but you doubted they’d be particularly thrilled about any of this news.
They would surely tell you to be careful, not to trust him, that it was just a game to find a weakness in you. These doubts inflicted your mind constantly, and it sucked that you had to figure all of it out on your own.
You were a half-hour late to karate when you arrived, and luckily Sensei Larusso had the tools to heal the remaining injuries on your face. You explained what happened with Tory, but you didn’t tell them about Hawk.
Your classmates were angry, Sam especially, and you were too. But after everything, you knew nobody in Cobra Kai was really in their right mind. Tory was an out of control girl with aggression issues, and Hawk was constantly battling a feeling of pressure and pent-up rage.
The worst thing about being in Miyagi-Do, was knowing the right way to go, and knowing that the right way was going to be a long, slow, and difficult process. It was a waiting game at this point-- how many fights would it take for the Cobra Kai kids to realize that wasn’t what they needed to do?
How much pain would they all have to endure, to realize there were better ways to solve their problems? You had only hoped that Hawk taking this step towards you was a step in the right direction-- and that maybe the rest of the Cobras would soon follow.
But until then, it was a secret. And the next few times you saw Hawk were an extreme struggle for the both of you.
Each passing day that you’d make eye contact at school, you’d both immediately look away. Neither of you had spoken or even texted since the kiss, and you were both failing miserably at proper communication.
At first, you thought that maybe the whole thing had been a mistake, and maybe it should just be left alone. But recalling everything Hawk said to you that day, you couldn’t ignore how real it felt. You wanted to be with him, but you had no clue how to go about that.
You were waiting for Hawk to make the next move, but to Hawk-- the ball was in your court. You had left him there, with no definite answer on how you felt about it, and never got back to him since. It seemed to him like you wanted to forget about it, so when one of Moon’s parties rolled around that weekend, he decided to forget about it too.
You were coming to the party, but got there late; and what a wonderful sight it was for the first thing to see as you walk in be Hawk, face inches away from another girl’s, flirting the night away.
Of course, you thought, feeling disgusted at what was in front of you. Of course everything he said was bullshit. You couldn’t figure out for the life of you what his goal was in pretending to care for you, especially when he got basically nothing out of it except a stupid kiss he could’ve gotten from anyone-- but clearly none of it was as real as you thought it was.
It’d been a few days, sure, but you thought maybe tonight you’d finally just talk to him. You watched as the girl played with the string of Hawk’s hoodie, and feeling a pang of jealousy you decided to walk by them, making sure your presence was known.
It definitely worked, because at the notice of your movements he excused himself from the conversation and followed you out towards the pool, where you had gone to get away from the sight of Hawk and the girl.
“Hey.” He whispered, as you poured yourself a drink. “Hi.” You replied boredly with your back turned to him, not exactly feeling excited to have a conversation with him.
He looked around, scoping out who may be listening, but luckily the only others outside were heavily invested in the drinking game going on at the other side of the patio.
Hawk could tell you were bothered about the girl, but didn’t understand why, since you had so obviously been avoiding him.
“Can we talk?” He asked, still being cautious as to not attract any attention. “Go ahead.” You were being difficult, but quite frankly you thought he deserved it. He made you spend days analyzing what had happened between you, only for him to move on from it after a few days?
He stomped closer, and you looked up at him. “You know we can’t talk here.��� He nodded his head towards the back of the yard, hoping you’d go with him somewhere private.
You scoffed, and looked at the spot doubtfully. You were upset, but still curious to hear what he had to say. “Fine.” You rolled your eyes, feeling disappointed in yourself for giving in, but you couldn’t pretend you weren’t dying to know what the hell he was thinking.
Hawk walked eagerly to the secluded part of Moon’s property, hoping to get some clarity from you. But before Hawk could say anything, your anger got the best of you.
“So what the hell is your problem?” You started, as soon as you knew you were out of earshot from the rest of the party. Hawk looked taken aback, his eyebrows immediately coming together. “Me? What are you talking about?” He said, offended.
You looked at him in disbelief, mouth dropping open slightly. “Are you joking? Are we going to pretend you weren’t just about to make out with that girl in there?” You said, feeling a twinge of hurt from your own words.
His face knotted in confusion and annoyance. “Seriously? You’re jealous right now? After I confessed everything to you, and you avoided me for days afterwards, I was just supposed to think you actually wanted me?” He tried to keep his voice down, but his emotions were getting the better of him.
“What? I just needed some time to think! It’s not like you bothered to text me either!” You whisper-shouted, now feeling like you were missing something.
“Well when you kiss someone and they basically run away from you, who’s responsibility do you think it is to reach out after?!” He threw his arms up in bafflement, looking at you expectantly.
Your face fell to a look of guilt, and eventually his did too. Suddenly you both felt like idiots at how far you jumped to conclusions.
“I was gonna talk to you today. But when I saw you in there with that girl, all these insecurities just came over me. I thought everything you said was just some Cobra prank and it never meant anything.” Your face drooped, feeling a little embarrassed to admit any of this.
His eyes saddened, and he shook his head. “And I just thought you hated me, and that no matter what I said it’d never be enough for you to forgive me.” He explained his own worry, and your eyes started to water at his words.
Feeling overwhelmed after finally being able to piece together what had been going on this whole time, you sprung into his arms, hugging him tightly. You both stayed embraced, enjoying the feeling of comfort from each other once again, until you finally felt strong enough to pull yourself away.
He kept a hand around your head, as though cradling something delicate. “I meant everything I said that day. It’s not a scheme. I want to be with you.” He told you, proving your suspicions wrong.
You smiled weakly, feeling warm at his confession, but nervous for what’s to come. “I’m sorry I never texted you, but I just don’t get how we’re going to do this.” You said, unconvinced. “We can’t tell anyone, and despite whatever we have, there are a lot more reasons why we won’t work than will.” You look away, your mood of happiness faltering at the idea of being realistic.
“I mean, you know I like you Hawk. And maybe it’s different for us, but, I can’t exactly support the way you treat other people.” You say reluctantly, trying not to sound rude. Hawk gulped, looking down shamefully.
Not wanting to think realistically right now, he ignored what you said and pulled you closer. “We’ll figure it out.” He said sweetly, and moved his hand to lift your chin, kissing you tenderly. As nervous as you were about all of it, the way he kissed you somehow seemed to make all your worries disappear.
Just then as your lips met, sirens went off nearby. “Shit, cops?” Hawk said, breaking apart from you. You giggled at the unfortunate turn of events. “You go that way,” you pointed him in the opposite direction of where you were planning to exit, not wanting others to notice you were together. “See you around.” You said playfully, and he caught on to your plan.
Before he could give you a final peck or even say goodbye, you were gone around the corner of the house, and he wondered longingly when he’d finally be able to kiss you again.
The next couple days at school you’d both done your best to avoid looking suspicious with each other. There were many stolen glances, and lots of private texts, but you both somehow managed to keep whatever fling you two had completely under wraps.
Though you had been initially uncomfortable with the whole secret-dating-thing, you eventually gave up on worrying about what would happen if others found out. You were happy, and having a lot of fun sneaking around with Hawk.
You noticed he had even toned down some of his bullying, and your heart felt full at the thought that he might have done that for you. Of course, there were always a few ‘slip-ups’.. but he made sure you weren’t around to see those.
Even if it was difficult, it was thrilling in a way-- having make-out sessions in his car when no one was around to see, and slipping in through each others’ windows at night to see each other... 
It was fun, pretending to hate each other by day, and then not being able to stay away from each other by night. It felt like the whole school was being pranked, and you two were the only ones in on it.
It had been a few weeks now since you admitted to liking each other at Moon’s party, and you were now headed to the sports shed near the soccer field where Hawk had asked you to meet him after school.
You’d came here and gotten a little wild with him twice before, so at the invitation you fully expected to be met with an aggressive Hawk, ready to hook up. But instead when you opened the shed door, he was standing shyly and gave you the sweetest smile.
“Hey,” he said, taking a small step forward to meet where you were standing. “Hi, baby,” you grinned and kissed him chastely, taking note of the more innocent energy coming from him today.
He wrapped his arms around you, his eyes examining your face adoringly. “Um,” he said, radiating nervousness and backing up slightly. “What’s up?” You smiled at him curiously, taking his hands in yours.
After only a moment, he released his hands from your hold, and you suddenly felt concerned. Why was he acting so weird? You watched confusedly as he fiddled with the inside pocket of his jacket, not saying a word.
Pulling out a small box, he opened it to reveal a simple but beautiful silver necklace. “Hawk!” You gasped, looking at it in awe. He felt more confident at your reaction, and felt safe to say something again.
“I thought that, since we always have to act around each other, you could wear it as a reminder of how we really feel.” He said, searching your expression for some sort of approval.
You stared at him in admiration, not yet able to find the words to respond. “It’s simple, so nobody will think it means anything, but, we’ll know.” He spoke again, hoping for it to grant a response from you this time.
Your face began to bloom with happiness. Taking the box from his hands, you kissed him passionately. “I love it. Can you put it on me?” You asked cheerfully, and Hawk smiled brightly. “Yeah,” he nodded excitedly, turning you around.
You did your best to move your hair out of the way, and Hawk gently pushed the few stray strands to the side. Feeling his fingers brush across your skin, you breathed heavily. You could feel his own breath hot on your neck, as he clasped the two ends of the jewelry together.
With your back still against his torso, he placed his hands around your waist, starting to leave soft kisses against your ear, and down towards your collarbone.
You closed your eyes, soaking in the feeling, until the door of the shed barged open. You stumbled away from each other in shock, and looked to see Tory standing in front of the both of you.
“I knew it! What the hell is this, Hawk?” She screamed, prowling towards you. Feeling completely unprepared from the utter suddenness of the situation, you stepped back in fear. “What are you doing here!?” Hawk shouted, ignoring Tory’s question as he blocked her path from getting to you.
She sneered at the both of you, stopping as she noticed his protectiveness over you. “I’ve noticed how you sneak off at the end of school. I finally decided to follow you here.” She said matter-of-factly, giving you a glare.
“So what is she, Hawk? Your girlfriend?” She taunted, starting to circle you. Out of everything she’d said so far, that was the thing that actually made you the most nervous. You hadn’t actually used that word before... ‘girlfriend,’ you hadn’t really made it official, despite how much it felt like you already had.
You weren’t sure how Hawk would react now that he was caught, but you desperately hoped he would say, ‘Yes, she is, and I love her.’ But that was nowhere close, to what he said.
“What? No! We’re just having some fun, alright? It doesn’t mean anything.” He forced a laugh, stepping away from you. Your heart ached. This is what you were afraid of. You knew it was probably for the best for him to have said that, but you couldn’t ignore the hurt you felt when you heard him say it.
You wished he would’ve right then and there just admitted it, stood up for himself, and chosen you. He could’ve just told the truth, and left Cobra Kai, and been with you. But you weren’t enough. He had a reputation to uphold.
“Oh, really.” Tory scoffed, barely believing his lie as she looked between the two of you. “You can have fun with anyone, Hawk, and you a choose a Miyagi-Do?” She spat, staring him down, and his usually-confident demeanor diminished instantly. “Break it off, or I tell everyone.”
Storming off, her threat lingered in the air as the two of you stood alone, unable to meet each other’s gazes.
“Maybe we should just end this, Y/N.” Hawk spoke meekly, finally breaking the silence. Your eyes widened in horror, forcing yourself to look up at him. “What?” You said, your voice faltering. “So that’s just it then?”
Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes again as he met your stare. “We don’t have any other choice!” He shouted angrily, getting in your face. Your mouth fell agape at the way he was acting, your expression hardening.
“Yes, we DO!” You shouted back, and sobs started to escape you. You of course meant the choice being he stands up to the Cobras, and fights for your relationship. You understood his dilemma in the beginning, but at this point none of it seemed worth it to you anymore.
His eyes were fixated on you intensely, and his mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out what to do.
“You can easily stand up to them, the Cobras! You’re stronger than all of them combined. Why won’t you fight for us?” You cried, searching for any sign in his face that showed he regretted his words. He had never said so, but you could tell the only thing holding him back was the fear of the Cobras’ reactions.
His insides scrambled with guilt watching you cry. But he had to stay strong. Unaffected, unfazed, completely unbothered. That’s how he forced his expression to appear as he turned and left the shed, leaving you alone and in pain as you watched your worst fear come true.
“Hawk!” You yelled after him, but he only kept walking. “What happened to never wanting to be the reason I felt pain?” Your voice cracked, and you wiped your tears from your face, giving up.
Your words cut into Hawk like a knife. If even possible, Hawk was hurting more than you. Each step he took farther away from where you stood, he felt his heart scatter into another piece. He wished things could be different, too-- but you were too much of a risk.
Cobra Kai may be a large reason for his troubles, but it was also the only reason he was still on top. He wanted you so bad, but he was too afraid to let go of everything else just to have you.
It was safer this way, he told himself. If nobody knew, you’d be safer. You wouldn’t have to be involved in the drama that would come from it, you wouldn’t have another reason for the Cobras to come after you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.
Hawk repeated these things to himself over and over to make himself feel better about the way things ended. But no matter what he told himself, it was never enough for him to fully believe that he made the right choice.
Feeling helpless, you called the only person you thought might understand. “D-Demetri?” You spoke into the phone, taking a gasp for air between sobs.
“Y/N? Are you ok?” He answered, sounding worried. “I need to talk to you, can you-” You paused, trying to catch your breath. “Can you come get me?” You were nervous he wouldn’t be able to, but you needed someone in person, not over text.
You and Demetri weren’t particularly besties, so for you to call him out of the blue, crying, was extremely worrisome to him. “Uh, yeah, okay sure. I only just left so I can turn back.”
Letting out a shaky breath of relief, you thanked Demetri and hung up, walking out of the shed and towards the front of the school to where he would be meeting you. Hawk was supposed to be your ride home, but clearly that was no longer an option.
When Demetri arrived, he didn’t wait for you to get in the car, he immediately got out and walked over to you. “What happened?” He said cautiously, becoming nervous about having to deal with others’ emotions.
He was never particularly great at consolation, being the awkward and blunt person he is-- and he really didn’t want to make things worse for you.
“It’s Eli,” You said, trying to hold back your tears. “I did something really stupid.” Your lip quivered, feeling embarrassed talking about it. You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about you and Hawk, but at this point, you had nothing left to lose.
Demetri looked at you confused. “What do you mean?” To his knowledge, you and Hawk barely conversed, and there should be absolutely no reason whatsoever for you to be crying over him.
The closer you got to explaining it, the harder it got to contain your emotions. Despite knowing Demetri wasn’t very keen on hugs, you ran into him, desperate for the feeling of comfort.
At this point, Demetri’s level of concern was on the rise. Why on earth would you hug him? That’s never happened before. “I just thought you’d be the only one who would understand... if I told someone.” You spoke, words slightly muffled as you were pressed into his chest.
Reluctantly, Demetri accepted your hug and rested his arms around you. “Okay, Y/N, you’re scaring me. What did he do?” He asked, looking down at you.
Gaining the courage to explain yourself, to Demetri’s relief you let go of him and steadied your breathing. “A few weeks ago.. Hawk and I kissed.” You said hesitantly, preparing for the worst.
“What?” Demetri’s face scrunched into the most confused and offended look you’d ever seen him wear. “I know, okay, just wait.” You told him, hoping he would hear you out.
“I thought it was just a stupid mistake, or something?” You began, recalling the uncertainty you felt when it first happened. “But then he said all this stuff about how much he cared about me, and it turns out we actually have something real.”
Aware of the weirdness of what you were saying, you looked to see how Demetri was handling it. He showed a look of understanding, but you could tell he was simply masking the discomfort he was truly feeling. “It was really confusing at first, but then we started secretly dating.. because we knew everyone would flip if they found out.” You continued, the awkwardness worsening with each sentence spoken.
Demetri’s eyebrows rose. “Dating?” You visibly cringed at the reaction, but carried on with your story. “And he even started being nicer to people!” You mentioned, hoping to make the situation seem like you weren’t a complete idiot for allowing it to happen. “Because, I told him I didn’t think I could be with him-- with the way he treats people, you know? And things were actually going well until today--”
You took a moment, preparing the end of your explanation in the hopes you wouldn’t start to cry through it. Demetri looked at you impatiently.
“When Tory found us together and threatened to tell everyone about us if we didn’t break it off, and then Hawk just left me there and said that we should end things because he’s a coward and can’t do what’s right because HE WANTS TO LOOK COOL.” You shouted, running through the sentences fast and furiously. Instead of getting sad like you thought you would, you got angry. Ah yes, another stage of grief.
Demetri looked slightly scared of you at your sudden tantrum, but having heard your story, he did understand what you were feeling-- because in a way, it had happened to him too. This time, it was him who reached out to hug you, and you appreciated him for it. Hugs always seemed to make you feel calm.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know how it feels. He’s stuck right now, but we can’t give up, okay? He’ll come around.” He said honestly, awkwardly patting your back. You laughed a tiny bit, seeing Demetri trying to console, but you were grateful for his presence.
You released each other from the hug, and you wiped any leftover tears off of your face. “Thanks, Demetri.” You said, smiling sweetly. He nodded, placing his hand on your arm in reassurance, and motioned for you to follow to his car.
The ride back to your house was quiet, but your thoughts were busy and loud. That’s how things were for awhile after that day. You kept to yourself again, and though you tried to look alive, you felt like you had retreated back inside the bubble you worked so hard to get out of.
You went to school, you went to karate, you did whatever responsibilities you had to do-- but for the rest of your free time, you spent it alone in your room, wondering what it would take for Hawk to come back to you.
It was unhealthy, really, how you would wait everyday for a sign of acknowledgement from Hawk, and decline any other social invitation because you never got one.
You even wore the necklace, everyday, in hopes that he’d notice and remember how much you meant to him. But it never worked. He never came back.
You got away with the isolation for awhile, but people were starting to notice how you’ve been pulling away. At least you had Demetri to cover for you once and awhile, to help keep up the facade that you were okay.
Because, you weren’t. You wondered if Hawk was, though. He certainly seemed like he was okay, but he couldn’t be. For your own peace of mind, you had to think he couldn’t be. To think that he was doing just fine while you were spending your days miserable, wouldn’t be fair.
He’s stuck right now, but he’ll come around. Demetri’s words echoed in your head, wondering if they were even true. Would he ever really come around? Is he in too deep? The thoughts scared you beyond belief, but as more days passed, the more you believed them.
You eventually forced yourself to stop caring. To stop thinking about it, and to just give it up. You’d spent too long waiting for him, and you were done letting his actions control your happiness. Although there was a part of you that could never really stop caring, you convinced yourself that it was gone.
After a few weeks, you stopped wearing the necklace. When you showed up to school without it on, it was the first time Hawk had noticeably looked at you since the breakup. He always avoided your eye contact, but that day he locked them onto yours as you passed him in the hall. His gaze flickered from your eyes to your neck, and you could see the glum look all over his face.
As much as you wanted to give in to the hope that he missed you, you ignored it. You weren’t going to let any of those thoughts in again-- not when you already worked so hard to let go of them.
Hawk watched you make your way through the corridors, hardly caring who noticed. While you may have had the ability to attempt to move on, he didn’t. It was his fault any of this happened after all, and it was completely up to him whether or not he could fix things between you.
The pressure of knowing he was the only reason for your and his despair was agonizing, and with the necklace no longer around your neck, he realized he was running out of time.
Time is what he thought he had, to turn things around for himself, and you. But his window was closing, and he was panicking.
Not knowing what else to do, Hawk waited a few blocks away from where you trained at Miyagi-Do, knowing he’d catch you on your walk home.
Making your way down the sidewalk after practice, you were completely unsuspecting when Hawk jumped out of his car and jogged towards you.
Things had really come full circle now, hadn’t they? You, walking home on that same sidewalk, pure disgust for Hawk in your veins as he tried to catch up with you.
You stopped short as Hawk stood in front of you, blocking your path. You were nervous and confused at his intrusion, and decided not to bother avoiding him right now.
His stare towards you was intense, and you only glared back, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.
“You stopped wearing the necklace.” He said it so plainly, you couldn’t tell what kind of response he was looking for. It seemed almost like a question in disguise-- why did you stop wearing the necklace, perhaps?
He was looking at you eagerly, though trying to hide the desperation behind the statement.
“Yeah, and?” You laughed at him, matching his tone of carelessness. He looked like he didn’t understand, so you continued. “What’d you expect? That I’d just keep waiting for you?” You said unpleasantly, with a hint of sadness in your own voice.
A shameful look glossed over his features, but you only kept going. “It’s obvious you’re not coming back, Hawk.” You smile at him mockingly, enjoying the feeling of guilt you were giving him.
He tried to stay strong, but every word you spoke was like a hit to his built-up walls, and they were so close to falling down.
“I spent weeks wondering what I’d have to do to get you to come back to me. To choose me.” You said, your voice calm, but the rest of you not. Your body was shaking with anger now, but your eyes were brimming with tears.
“Until,” You sniffled, gaining a tone of indifference, “I finally realized there was nothing for me to do. You just weren’t coming.” You were almost smiling through the pain, and Hawk looked at you in a loss for words.
You appeared so fragile to him, he just wanted to wrap you in his arms and spout apology after apology for what he’d caused. Seeing your eyes squint in attempt to hold back the waterworks, physically pained him.
“So yeah, I stopped wearing the necklace. But you know what?” You stepped forward confidently, despite the single tear that had just fallen down your face. “I think it hurt more wearing it than it did taking it off.” You finished with hardly any emotion in your voice, and Hawk looked mortified seeing you try to act so unaffected.
He had been silent through your whole exchange, because he knew there was nothing he could say now to make things better. He had done too much damage, and he had caused you too much pain. He did exactly what he said he’d never do.
You waited for him to say something, anything-- but as your eyes bore into his strongly, he couldn’t find the courage to speak. The disappointment was immense, and feeling hopeless once again, you pushed past him to go home.
Panicking at your leave, Hawk grabbed onto your arm. “Y/N, Wait, please-” “No!” You cut him off, looking at him coldly. His face was red, and his eyes were stinging now, too. Ignoring the feeling you got when you saw him like that, you ripped your arm from his grasp. “I’ve waited long enough.”
You turned to leave again, and this time, Hawk didn’t follow. There was only one thing Hawk could do now to get you back, and you knew he wasn’t ready for it. There was no use in you hanging around for him anymore, you deserved better. You deserved someone who cared enough that they’d do what it takes to be with you, regardless of social status.
You didn’t even care if he stayed in Cobra Kai, you just wanted him to stand up to his friends and be proud that he was with you. Didn’t he realize that he was one of the strongest Cobras, and that he could get through any of their shit? If his biggest problem was Tory, he hardly had any reason to stay quiet. You knew deep down he could do better.
Hawk hadn’t understood that then, but as he lingered on you walking away, something clicked in his head.
Maybe he really could do better. He wanted to, for you. He was still terrified at the idea of coming clean to the Cobras, but whatever he’d deal with from that couldn’t be any worse than being without you.
He liked the power he had being in Cobra Kai, and he hoped that he could keep it-- but if losing the power meant gaining you, at this point he was totally okay with that risk. But, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t at least try to negotiate with his friends first.
“Y/N!” It was a new day at school, and you were walking side by side Sam heading to your lunch table when he called your name. You shared a look with Sam, glancing towards him with a bothered look upon your face. “Come here!” Hawk shouted again, apparently not caring that the whole cafeteria had his attention.
A look of dread spread across your face, and you slammed your lunch tray on your friends’ table in defeat before stomping over to where Hawk and his asshole friends sat. Your friends watched from afar, completely clueless as to what Hawk would need you for, and Demetri struggled to pretend he was just as lost as they were.
“What.” You said bluntly, staring him and the rest of his table down. “Yeah, seriously, what are you doing calling her over here?” Mitch asked, looking at you in revulsion, and you rolled your eyes at him.
Hawk looked between you and his friends, struggling to keep his confident manner in tact, and sighed uncomfortably. “I know we don’t like the Miyagi-Dos. And we don’t like the way they run their dojo.” He stated, hoping to hook his friends in by starting negatively towards their rivals.
His friends looked at him in reluctance, wondering where he was going with this-- and you did too. “But I love Y/N.” He said loudly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and looking around at his friends. He was more nervous to see your reaction than theirs, so he barely looked at you once he said it.
“What?” The words came strongly from not only his friends, but you, too. He had never told you that before, and your heart melted at his declaration. When you spoke, he gathered the courage to look at you, and you’d never seen him so nervous.
“I love you.” He repeated, looking you in the eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and on top of that he was announcing it to the whole school. You glanced over to see Demetri, mouth ajar, observing the interaction like it were a movie.
He meant it, and you could tell. He was waiting on you for a response, feeling more stress than he’d felt in a long time as he studied your bewildered expression.
Before you could say anything, Bert interrupted the moment. “You can’t love a Miyagi-Do. They’re stuck-up pansies who think they’re better than us.” He said, completely convinced that Hawk was out of his mind and needed a wake-up call.
Hawk cringed a little at the feedback, but was surprised when you decided to bite back. “I joined Miyagi-Do because I was tired of people getting bullied. You all choose violence when it isn’t needed, so I just wanted to be prepared.” You defended your intentions, fearlessly.
Tory snorted. “Oh yeah? And how’s that working out for you?” She jabbed, trying to make fun of your self defense skills. Before you could retort, Hawk slammed his hand down on the table and leaned in towards his peers.
“Listen! I’m with you guys, but she’s right. We’ve been reckless.” He said carefully, trying to keep a balance between who’s side he was on. “Sensei told us to fight smart, and we haven’t been.” He locked eyes with Tory, clearly sending her a message.
You watched as Hawk tried to reason with them, admiring his every move. Keeping up his confidence, he set down what was going to happen, and there’d be no arguments against it. “You guys can hate the Miyagi-Dos all you want, but I’m going to be with Y/N, and I’m staying in Cobra Kai.” 
Interlacing his hand with yours, he looked at you pridefully before turning back to the outraged looks on his friends’ faces. “From now on, if any one of you touches her, you deal with me. That’s of course if she doesn’t kick your ass first.” He said smugly, and you smiled widely, feeling content at his speech.
Your heart was jumping out of your chest at the gesture he made, and you wanted to smash your lips onto his and tell him how much you loved him back-- but you kept yourself restrained for the sake of the situation.
Most of the Cobras nodded nervously at his announcement, not wanting to challenge Hawk when he was so sure of himself. But Tory wasn’t having it. “You guys can’t seriously be okay with this?” She snapped, death-glaring the entire table.
The group looked like they were trying to decide whether they were more afraid of Hawk, or Tory. You smiled to yourself, knowing that no matter their reaction, you had won this, because you were with him now. It would certainly be a bonus if you gained their acceptance, though.
Mitch looked around in uncertainty about what he was going to say, but stuck up for Hawk. “Come on Tory, I mean, I get it... she’s hot.” He said referring to you, and you laughed a little at the shallow but positive response.
Hawk wasn’t as pleased with it though. “Hey.” He threatened, pointing a finger at Mitch. You giggled slightly at his jealous reaction, but pulled him back from Mitch by the hand you were holding his with. Mitch raised his hands in surrender, and Tory stood from the table, getting close to the both of you.
“You’d better sleep with one eye open, assholes.” She spat, and stormed away from the table. It went better than you would’ve thought, truthfully. Everyone else was loyal to Hawk, and you didn’t really expect anything less from Tory. Again, having Tory be your only threat seemed like small potatoes now that you two were together.
You nodded at the rest of the Cobras in respect, and with that whole thing being over, you tugged him by the hand towards your table of Miyagi-Dos. Hawk groaned, realizing where you were taking him, but did his best to stay civil.
Chris glowered at the both of you, and Sam looked a little disappointed, but she tried to look supportive. “So.... yeah. Sorry.” You said sheepishly, knowing that they had already heard everything.
“I’m glad it finally worked out.” Demetri said through a sad smile. You felt a little bad, knowing that Demetri still needed to work out his relationship with Hawk, and here you were rubbing yours in his face. That would be your next mission, you suppose-- operation get Demetri and Hawk to be friends again.
“Thanks, Dem.” You said appreciatively, and Hawk looked suspiciously between the two of you. “Wait, did you tell him before?” He asked defensively. The whole table looked to you and Demetri curiously, and you crossed your arms sassily.
“Uh, did I call someone to come get me after you left me alone in a shed? Yeah.” You recovered, your facial expression sly as you knew he couldn’t come back from that one. The others looked at him exasperatedly at your response, and his face dropped instantly. 
“Oh my god, Y/N I am so sorry about that.” He cowered, immediately dropping it, and you laughed at the remorse he was finally showing. You already knew he was sorry, but you guess it was nice to hear him say it.
He didn’t understand why you were laughing, though. He felt awful. And he also really needed a chance to completely apologize to you in private, now that he had already confessed his true feelings.
Suddenly, he picked you up entirely, arms holding your legs and you wrapped your arms around his neck instinctively. “Whoah, what is happening?” You laughed, looking at your friends who all looked just as puzzled as you.
Without saying anything else, he took off out of the lunch room carrying you, and made his way to the nearest exit to the outdoors. “Babe, where are we going?” You cackled, amused at the adventure he was taking you on.
Finally outside and alone, he let you down gently in front of him, and took your hands in his lightly. “I’m so sorry. For all of it. I was a complete idiot for letting you go. You knew all along that we could do it, and I was too busy being a pussy to even try. And I’m really sorry for everything that went down today, I hope you aren’t mad, I literally told you I loved you in front of everyone and that must’ve been awkward, I mean you didn’t even get to respond, which, now that I think about it maybe you didn’t want to, or--”
You silenced his rambling with a forceful kiss, grabbing the sides of his face with your hands. “I love you too, Hawk.” You said, pulling away from the kiss quickly, to give him the response he had been looking for.
He smiled big in return, and it turned your insides to mush. “You know, I realized we never got the chance to make things official.” He looked up at you cutely and you smiled back, knowing what was coming.
“So, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked charmingly, his face mere inches from yours. Blushing furiously, you nodded as you touched your forehead to his. “Mhm,” You said in agreement, grinning.
He took a moment, just admiring the look of you so happy, and with his manner still playful, he reminded you of something you had said before. “See? I came back to you.” He said proudly.
You looked at him lovingly, feeling a little emotional at the sentiment. His expression turned serious now, and he parted from you only slightly. “I’m gonna do better for you, Y/N. I promise.” He spoke lowly, and you put your hands on his shoulders, beaming at him in acknowledgement.
You stepped forwards again, getting closer to him. He gave a seductive smirk at your movement, and you subconsciously traced your fingers along his neck, fixated on his face more than anything.
Hawk stared back at you affectionately, his attention flickering down towards your lips. Feeling bold, he placed his hands dangerously low on your waist, and pulled you in roughly for another kiss. You quickly reacted, letting your hands travel to the nape of his neck, your mouth opening slightly-- allowing Hawk the opportunity to deepen the kiss.
Your lips stayed connected as Hawk’s hands made their way up your back, his chest pressing closer to yours. As much as you wanted to continue, you were in broad daylight right outside the halls of your school-- and you really didn’t want a detention for too much PDA.
“Mm, Hawk-” You giggled, breaking away from him. “Hm?” He smiled, his hands resting loosely on your waist as he pecked your lips again before letting you free. “If we don’t go back in soon we’ll miss the whole lunch period.” You said, disappointedly.
“Eh, that’s fine with me.” He shrugged, smirking at you as he clutched you closer. You scoffed playfully, hitting him lightly, and gave him one last kiss before escaping his grip.
He pouted at you, and you looked back at him mischievously. He missed your touch already, so he snaked his arm around your waist as you walked back inside to satisfy his need of holding you.
You felt on top of the world with him by your side, now having full confidence in him and his feelings for you. “It’s a good thing I still have the necklace, huh?” You teased, looking back up at him, and Hawk smiled, tilting his head to meet your gaze.
Though your comment may have only been a joke, both of you felt whole at the idea of you wearing the necklace-- and as you walked joyfully through the halls with him, you knew you’d never be taking it off again.
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i just wanna talk about real quick how much i cringe when writing like its actually terrible how much i cringe at myself so idk if i’ll keep doing fics or not HAHAH but y’all can always send requests and i’ll get around to them if i can. hope yall liked this one tho and made it through the whole thing cuz yikes.
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Ml analysis: Native American miracle box
While is it obvious that the new miracle box is of native American origin I still went to do some research on it to see if I can narrow it down to a certain tribe and find more connections hidden in the lore.
So not to waste any time, here is my result:
The native American miracle box is in possession of the Souix Lakota tribe. Just like with the Ml Tibetan guardian monks represent not only 1 but 4 groups, the native American Miraculous tribe is a combination of the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota and where we can safely say that the monks will primarily lean towards the Tibet representation, I would say here we will primarily lean towards the Lakota. Therefore, I will call the native America Miraculous tribe Lakota but know that the other two tribes are included in this as well.
So a dead giveaway for the identity of the ml Tribe is Jessicas Shirt. In general Jessica has the hairstyle, the physical features and the accessories typical for representing an “Indian” character and her shirt is a direct confirmation of that heritage.
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On her shirt is an obvious reference to the Lakota flag which pretty much tells us that this is the Tribe we are dealing with. Nice, why cant it always be this easy?
Under the cut I cover three more points to go into more detail, read more if you’re interested ^^
1. The medicine wheel
I must give it to miraculous, using the medicine wheel for the upper layer of the miracle box is one genius move imo.
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The Medicine Wheel is a sacred symbol and way of life used by the indigenous Plains tribes to represent all knowledge of the universe. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to really get into its teaching and living ways to be comfortable explaining its practice in more details, so in this part I want to cover only what has been directly acknowledged by Thomas Astruc. And that would be the animals (duh, obviously) and the elements.
The first thing I had to learn the hard way in this research is that there is not one "true" way for this symbol to be arranged. The way its used, what animal belongs to which color or element and even what KIND of animal is in it can vary STRONGLY from location to location.
So I accepted that the arrangement can not be pinpointed down to perfect accuracy through research. We were already given all the animals and colors, now all I can really do here is present to you a possible variation of the miraculous arrangement I put together after looking up and trying to understand the differences between the real life ones to continue from here on.
There are only two animals we know for sure the connected color of: The eagle, Jessicas miraculous of freedom and the Thunderbird. In his tweets Thomas mentioned the elements so I decided to include them in the arrangement, how or if they will be incorporated into the show I can not tell you though. But still I wanted the elements in here as well ^^
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As already said, the eagle is red and the thunderbird is in the green center. As you can see I put the bear to black, the Wolf to yellow and the Buffalo to white. Those seemed to me the most likely combinations and even if they don’t end up right, it wont do harm to any of this.
Buffalo: white and air because the Lakota have a white Buffalo woman legend where air was one of the main elements she controled and used.
Wolf: yellow and fire. Fire because in Lakota legends the wolf/ coyote is a very unpredictable animal. He's both a trickster and a hero, not always moraly sound but always clever. It's a dangerous but strong and lively nature that I do think the show could represent with the fire element. Yellow is one of the two cases where I was left with this option by default.
Bear: I choose black and water because that's a combination I have seen the most
Eagle: I already know Red and choose earth in combination. At first I thought about putting fire in this place because of its normal association with red but in the end choose earth because I think it's the element that fits the best to Jessica.
But the reason why I decided to include the elements is because of the green thunderbird in the middle. Because where the other 4 animals are connected with the 4 elements, the thunderbird would here represent inner balance and harmony. Of course this isn't it's power, but the layout makes it quite obvious that the thunderbird is the equivalent of the ladybugs and cats yin-yang. My assumption right now is that this is how the show will cover the different types of "balance" although the world cultures it incorporates, but let me come back to this one another time.
2. more cultural references and meanings
The thunderbird represents the most powerful one of this miracle box because the thunderbird is the one animal that is present in every Souix Lakota tribe and holds an enormous cultural and spiritual significance. It is a mythological bird and is associated with several legends starting from controlling the storms, lightnings and thunder to being the protector of the humans and even being a helper of the creation of reality (Reality in Ml are the LB and Cat hence why its place in the middle of the box is well deserved) It only makes sense that it would be chosen for this and I know it may seem cliché but please hear me out, which is why im convinced this is the miraculous of the chiefs.
A couple of details do support this for me but please remember I'm not exposed to alot of native American cultures I'll do my best to get things right but if I do interpret something(s) wrong feel free to correct me.
For one, well, the symbol. While looking up the clothing for a later point I did see a symbol like this on some of the feather headdresses.
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Definitely not on all of them, I couldn't figure out if there is a system behind the pattern usage or tied to a distinct area but I do know that it is THERE and not exactly rarely either. Noticeably it isn't a 1 to 1 fit but that is an all time returning thing in miraculous. Real life and historical things like this have to be slightly altered for the show to be able to incorporate them. A great example for this is the old English flag in "Darkblade".
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So at this point I'm used to this pattern, so yeah, this could very likely be a symbol they took inspiration from.
The second reason why I think it it's the miraculous of the chiefs is because the piece with the symbol on it looks like one of these
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In combination with the feather on it. The feather headdress is also called a war bonnet and was originally only worn in battles and only by the person who has truly earned that honor. Each feather represents a distinct honor earned in battle which is why we see feather headdresses in such different lengths. How this translates perfectly into a miraculous I think is obvious. The headdress is a symbol of true leadership and worthiness of such a status, hence why it were especially the chiefs to earn such impressive ones. Turning it into a miraculous wouldn't change too much about it since such a powerful miraculous is an honor and duty you have to be worthy of as well. Them being originally used only for battles is a perfect fit too, because so are the miraculous.
Then of course once again, the thunderbird.
The thunderbird being the great mythical protector animal of these tribes makes it naturally a perfect fit for the miraculous animal of the great chiefs. The chiefs were not only the leaders they also were the primary warrior in battles which is seen by the war bonnets. Having the Thunderbird be the miraculous of the chiefs highlights their status as the tribes protector in such a genuine way, I personally really really love it.
As the last point of 2. I want to bring up the outside top of the Miracle box and the way its designed. While looking through the clothing symbols and pattern I did notice some that looked similar to the ones on the box. I deliberately tried to find a more recent example of usage because in the end of the day Miraculous is a show for TODAY so if the show used patterns for example that may not have been used in the past but are now associated with the Lakota that’s still valid. So the possible matches for design inspiration I found stem from a picture of chief Arvol Lookinghorse who holds the responsibility of spiritual leader among the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota People to this day.
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3. Their location and monuments
Researching the lakota made me think of where this guardian group has its roots, which made me remember something I found on my guardian mountain - mount kailash theory a while ago (I swear right now everything comes back to that theory). In it I showed you the monuments-line around the world always separated by a length of 6666km between each other (basically the height of Mount Kailash) and while I didn't mention it there, there is also one of those "mythical" monuments in the USA.
The bears lodge butte (in Wyoming)
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I mean LOOK at this, that is out of this world and breath-taking in every sense of the word! That is a location of a miraculous guardianship if I had ever seen one. Also known under the (sadly) much more well known name of "Devils tower" but this will be the one and only time you will read of me calling it like that. The fact that this butte is still officially called by this disrespectful and bastardized white peoples name is a freaking insult. I'm calling it the bears lodge as this was its original english name.
The bears lodge is not just a monument in the USA it is the VERY FIRST official monument (1906) and the location of the butte also checks out perfectly with the areas the Lakota settled in real life. I couldn’t get the exact scale but I think you will still understand just fine.
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Adding to the Bears Lodge butte I also wanna bring up the "other" medicine wheel. Which is, just like Bears lodge, located in Wyoming.
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As we know the rest of the native American miracle box is made of the zodiac signs just like in our normal miracle box. Confirmed not only on Twitter but also in the very intro of the New York special.
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But the same way the miracle box is similar to ours the Medicine wheel as monument reminded me of something as well. Of course I'm talking about the ritual circle in the Kwami "dimension" of the box seen in “Sandboy”.
And just like the native American monument it is also of "astronomical" nature. Taking a closer look at the Chinese Kwami circle one can see that the outer ring is made of specific places for each Kwami signified with a picture of their "animal".
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And in the inner circle is obviously the moon circulation.
Meaning, put very simple, this is a design specifically meant to represent the Chinese calendar and culture this miracle box is based on. Therefor this should also exist for the native american one. My guess Is that for all the boxes/cultures Miraculous is gonna include they will also have an “ritual circle” equivalents for each based on all the different kinds of stone circle monuments around the world, including the medicine wheel of the Lakota.
But not only was the medicine wheel monument used for astronomical purposes, with it the people wanted to give things back to mother nature. They placed things right in the middle of the wheel under the stones so nature could take it back "spiritually" (for a lack of a better word on my part) through their rituals and chants. Which is something once again similar to what we see with the Kwamis.
First if all, when the Kwamis (who are the embodiments of the abstract concepts reality is made of) enter their "dimension" in the miracle box the guardian symbol opens right at the center point, letting them cross the layers of reality.
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Second, the Kwamis are obviously able to take material objects with them to the in-between dimension. Supporting and verifying the Lakota’s ritual because at the very least in the ML world its actually true. And thirdly, when the Kwamis try to reach Nooroo they chant as well and once again the collected energy is combined in the middle to cross the layers of reality. Gabriel is transformed though so he, as Hawkmoth, is able to almost take over the connection and therefore the miracle box if the Kwamis hadn’t blocked him.
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This shows that the spiritual dimension layers are interactive from both sides under certain circumstances. A normal human being wouldn’t be able to cross the layers and take control like this but the more a person is involved with/ powered up by the miraculous the more power they hold interdimensional. Which is the idea of a ritual to reach the spiritual side of nature brought to a new 11 as TV shows usually do.
 4. The design of the guardian.
I'm definitely not the right person to properly judge this in depth therefore I will just showcase my opinion based on the research.
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The way I see it for the guardians design they tried to combine the guardian "look" with the native American one.
The pants, staff and robe-like upper part are obviously influenced by the guardian we already saw through Fu's flashbacks, whereas the colors, the hairstyle and shoes (etc) are kept more Lakota-like. Though, as far as my opinion counts in this, the much darker skin and the eyebrows in comparison to Jessica does make me question if he is supposed to represent the same native American tribes as her. His bushy eyebrows are a physical characteristic I recognize in rarely any real life photos and neither did I notice such a noticeable difference in skin color.
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Jessica and the guardian simply do not really look like they are of the same heritage to me, but again, who am I to say this isn't a legit representation? Besides that, it makes alot more sense that this guardian wasn't lost for almost 200 years like the ones in Tibet, so it is a fair option to consider that this black guardian may not be of "original Lakota heritage" but he is simply a worthy man born in this area of the USA (who knows in what year considering the guardians life spans) who was chosen and trained for the guardianship simply because he was the right fit for it just like Marinette.
I think it's only fair to consider that option as well, especially since we have NO official background on him. But that's just my opinion.
 And as the last thing I want to bring up is the symbol on his robe because this is something I'm going to need help with.
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We can hardly see it and I've tried my best to find something in my research but I just couldn't find anything fitting.
If anybody has the means and knows if this is a cultural reference as well, I would appreciate it if this knowledge could be shared here as well. I really would love to know ^^
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alltheselights · 3 years
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(1/3) hi, I saw the ask abt the photoshoot and I literally agree with everything u said like they fucking try to push the smoking thing too hard im sure he doesn't smoke that much cause people who met him say he smells like baby powder and vanilla (aww) they try so hard to push the BriT LaD image so much on him like obviously he's brit but not THAT im sure cause we've known him for abt 10 yrs so we all know what his cloth preferences our and how his nature is like I remember he had the most
(2/3) flamboyant and most colourful clothing style from fucking 2011 even more than the other boys, like we say harry is trendy but I remember every bandmate said L like buys clothes everywhere he goes and has the most clothes and he wears so damn expensive clothes and they r all in trend , I hate when people put him down to the trackies im not hating on harry its just dont unsee the other things just to give into stereotypes , other topic I'd like to discuss is Being fem but I'd cause lot of
(3/3) of fight but I'd say L is just as fem as H his gestures,style,(for those who believe in stereotypes) lot more thing I remember a vid of X factor 18 where he was oblivious to the camera so was sitting cross legged but as soon as he noticed it he opened his legs I swear it broke my heart so much I despise simon for this shit he forced L to be , L explicitly said ' of playing someone I was supposed to be' but no we will close r ears and eyes I hope his new era is full of
hi the L photoshoot and image anon (cont): full of him being himself & hopefully ending of bg at least & great label which provides lots of promo and recognition he deserves (Louis is damn intelligent &I trust him so Im sure he must have chosen a great label and everything for the new era) but the most at least let him be himself (intervies,outfits,rock songs,everything)the diva+honey+baby he is & not the BrIT laD pls Im sorry this became long rant but ur thought were same so I told u ,thank u
I definitely think that Louis is not the same person he was when he was 19, and probably a lot of the things he wore then, he genuinely doesn’t enjoy now. That a part of growing up and is normal. But I also agree that a lot of his personality has been suppressed for years due to media training and the different images that they’ve decided to push for him, first while he was in the band and now again with his solo career. I think he’s just a much more complex person than they ever portray and that’s super frustrating because those genuine glimpses of who he is mean so much more and i think would win over way more people.
And I do feel like the fandom ignores a lot of Louis’ complexities just because they’re not used as part of his image the way they are for Harry. Louis is feminine and flamboyant and sweet and loving and kind, but you often see him being portrayed by the fandom as super masculine and rude and always the protector, never the protected or the vulnerable (which is even more bizarre considering some of the songs on his album). The style thing is also frustrating. If you heard him talk in interviews or saw his photoshoots, you’d think he has no style whatsoever, but we know from what other people have said about his shopping habits and from the fact that all the boys envied his style back in the day and from the way he dresses in his downtime that he does care about fashion and actually has amazing style. His stylist on the other hand....
You also see him being set as a counter to Harry ALL the time, which is so frustrating because it’s just not accurate. While Harry is also a complex person with a masculine and a feminine side and with a wide variety of characteristics, you often see Harry’s femininity as part of his public image and his flamboyance is part of his stage persona. Louis’ tends to be what comes out when his guard down or when he thinks nobody is paying attention. We may not see it as often, but it’s very genuine, and I wish it was appreciated more because I think it continues to be an important part of who he is.
I often wish we could just see Louis without the weight of the last ten years on him because I do wonder who he would be and how he would dress and how he would talk and what he would look like. We’ll never know how much of who he is today is the product of what’s been pushed on him and how much of it is just his natural progression as a person growing up.
And Louis doesn’t have to wear stripes and red pants and suspenders to be sweet or flamboyant or lovely or anything else I believe him to be, he doesn’t have to be the same person he was when he was 19, he can still embrace his Britishness and enjoy Oasis and banter with people and speak his mind and prefer dressing in black and red and all of those things, but I do think it’s clear that his image is very one-dimensional and not completely authentic. Those other aspects of who he is that we see small glimpses of here and there - how sweet and caring he is, the fact that he’s shy, his flamboyance, his vulnerability, the fact that he’s the one everyone says they go to when they need to talk about their feelings, his incredible style and taste in clothes that you mentioned - all of those more gentle and genuine characteristics demonstrate how complex and amazing of a person he is, and I think the world would embrace Louis the way so many of us do if they saw more of that.
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coffeeshoptalkks · 4 years
Text
nct 127 kibbe types
key: (D) dramatic, (SD) soft dramatic, (FN) flamboyant natural, (N) natural, (SN) soft natural, (DC) dramatic classic, (C) classic, (SC) soft classic, (FG) flamboyant gamine, (G) gamine, (SG) soft gamine, (TR) theatrical romantic, (R) romantic
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the boyss ! ! ! 
taeil: SG? little unsure about this one... i considered R but his limbs are longer than an Rs would be but i would probably say he has a R essence as flowier fabrics like this look good on him
relatively large head in comparison to body
isnt delicate the way a TR would be
also TR lines don’t look great on him
im so sorry i always use ten for TR but like, TRs are freaking hard to type and hes non ambiguous so whoops
you can really see the contrast here
i feel like they always style him as a FG? and he just doesn’t have the yang to handle it 
think all the hair colors, excess excess amount of details that ty wears a lot
johnny: SD - sliGht C undertone 
long and lanky ass balloon man
thats all i got... jk. kinda
not a D, too much yin.
i’ve seen FN but really, hes not frame dominant, just looks tallish with a little squish in him
handles details decently well - oversized isn’t the best look
the reason i said a tiny c essence/undertone is because i prefer him in more minimalist SD clothing, more detail does start to look a little ridiculous (i promise i mean that in the nicest way possible lol, don’t come for my entp ass)
the classic comes in cause he looks PHENOMENAL in traditionally classic lines with a little umph and also looser classic lines (the yin in SD)
i needed to include this masterpiece
taeyong: FG. ah yes, the debate about ty... some argue D but he just doesn’t have the vertical line
(sitting somewhere btween D and FG, but FG fits better)
obviously a yang type
but you immediately remove any sort of natural and SD cause he isn’t wide and he isn’t squishy
doesn’t have the vertical line for a D, even from a lower angle you don’t look at him and go “yes, hes really tall” and thats what Ds are really about
it doesn’t matter how tall someone actually is, its how tall they appear to be, and taeyong just looks his height
think about how well ty carries every concept
thats a FG thing. (i can’t find the exact quote but a staff member said that its really interesting to style ty because u can put so many elements on him without it overpowering him
yuta: FG. if taeyong is a FG then so is Yuta
somewhere on the spectrum between FG and D but has to be put in FG just cause a dramatic’s first and foremost trait is vertical line
my next guess would be SD but really he doesnt have enough yin in him, hes all sharp
but because hes sitting somewhere in between he’s not gonna carry as much detail as a “purer(?)” FG
hes 100% yang based but doesn’t have the vertical line of a pure D
this looks phenomenal
he looks like a friggin anime character excUse me sir
i’m fine no i’m not
doyoung (dongyoung): SD. i’ve seen DC, and i do get the argument, but he isn’t as sharp as a DC would be.
you take a look at this and he just isn’t sharp in the way that seonghwa or vernon are
hes definitely a yang type but hes got an undercurrent of yin 
how do i explain this
SDs actually have a lot more yin than DCs despite them being placed closer to dramatic in a lot of graphs. (you know the ones i’m talking about)
even if you could make an argument for vertical line (as i think doyoung has a moderate to long one)
kai (a DC/C) is over 180 and yes he has a vertical line, but he has more yang than doyoung - hes just more boxy and has less yin
when i’m having trouble typing an idol i start looking really heavily at outfits and how they suit each style
doyoung just doesn’t make classic suits pop in the way a DC would
he looks restricted and needs a little extra yin detail to match 
the neck scarf with the draping absolutely ties this look together and he absolutely rocks it
he just doesn’t give me DC vibes and i really do think that SD fits him better
jaehyun: SC. leaning on pure classic with some sort of yin essence
okay, ngl i had problems with this one
I saw somewhere (probably reddit lmao) that jaehyun has a SD head on a not SD body... and i couldn’t agree more
my first instinct was to go to SD but really, he doesn’t have the vertical line and details don’t feel right
idk if its just how he’s styled but i really can’t find an era where i lOve what jaehyun is in
i genuinely think he’s just a larger boned SC with some SD mixed in with a weird combo of essences
a good example of a SC ish look is this where you can see the moderate vertical line (despite being 5′11/180)
it might be my personal bias coming in but i really do like him in more minimal and somewhat looser clothing opposed to him drowning in details
this confuses me cause it feels like it should work but it doesn’t...
this looks awesome this is pretty darn decent but i still feel like something is missing 
i compared jae’s vertical line to the SC poster boy joshua (svt 5th from the left) and kai (DC/C) and felt they josh’s was pretty similar but really, i wouldn’t rule out any of the classics or SD
idk if its just how he’s styled but i really can’t find an era where i lOve what jaehyun is in
tldr: big boned SC and thats as close as i’m gonna get lol
mark: FG. pretty self explanatory lol
leaning yang but obviously not a natural or (S) dramatic or classic
leaves you with FG
very sharp facial features
sharp sharp sharp
and a decent vertical line (looks his height ish)
rocks pretty much every hair color on the planet
if you asked me to nail down an essence i wouldn’t be able to hes just a FG lol
jungwoo: FN. classic essence
heres my problem with jungwoo... like jaehyun his type gets really ambiguous cause of essences not matching his actual body type (classic essence, FN type in this case)
because really, hes just too tall to be a DC,
too box like for SD
and his skin is much too yin to be a pure D (he is very squish, a true D - wonwoo svt is taught and yang through and through)
and once you rule out DC cause of height you’re kinda left with??
but his vertical line is just too prominent to be a DC, but hes not as shoulder heavy as most FNs and just?
*insert clown face*
a DC wouldn’t carry an oversized outfit like this
i actually like him in stuff like this, if not a little less oversized, he just looks so cozy
this gets close-ish but he looks a tad bit constricted
the reason i finally just gave in to FN is cause its as close as i think i can get. SD and D aren’t right, hes not a SN or pure N (jun svt) and in this pic (and others) you can kinda start to see that he IS actually more frame dominant than you first expect. (think like yanan pentagon, - minus the shoulders - super long limbs, lanky but still relatively squarish)
so FN it is
tldr: FN with a classic essence cause really thats (imo) the closest and best option you have and confused kpop fan 
haechan (donghyuck): G. right now i would put him in pure G but he might hit FG at some point in the future cause he isn’t 21 in international age and his type is still settling
boom vs resonance
okay its not that different but i sWEar hes picked up more yang somewhere
not a SG because his isn’t absolutely massive in comparison to the rest of his body 
chenle i’m looking at you (fifth from the left)
moderate to short-ish vertical line
sharp jawline vs squish face but he doesn’t have the sharp yang of a FG (mark)
just still got some squish on him 
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chick-from-nz · 4 years
Text
Paper, Scissors, Rank (Ch: 10)
CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (slowburn?) 
WARNINGS: swearing, military talk/slang. Carrillo will not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC. awkwardly written moments, flippy floppy points of view. OC’s are back baby. Sexaul tones/actions. Swapping between metric and imperial units lol
AUTHORS NOTE: holy hecka team im sorry for how long this took for me to get out, honestly this is just a whole heap of word vomit, barely any plot lol, Ash and Henry are not related so don't worry about anything weird going on,  i swear i have an addiction to the coffee cup (IYKYK), might have accidentally repeated a scene from a previous chapter lol. hope y'all enjoy
WORD COUNT: 7k (yeah idk how i wrote this much)
CHAPTER: 10  OF ?
TAG LIST (OPEN): @girlpornparadise @1zashreena1 @nicke0115 @allalngthewtchtower @lettherebrelight
The week continued without a hitch, while the tension between the two officers continued to grow, the awkwardness that occurred after their last incident never returned, a somewhat confusing signal that to Ash meant that the relationship between the two of them had changed for the better, at least that's what she predicted. She had lost count of the amount of times her mind had wandered back to the steamy moment in the kitchen,that and she often woke from her dreams wound up and teetering on the edge of release. She almost wished she had had the guts to push the bounds of the relationship and defile the kitchen that day, but she was sure that with the ever mounting tension between them that one day her wish might just come true
The outside loop of the property had become her best and latest distraction. Every morning she woke at the crack of dawn to run at least a few laps of her personally carved out track, exhausting both mind and body and taking her thoughts off the hunky officer that she shared a house with. While the runs were a peaceful place to clear her mind she couldn’t deny that her thoughts would reflect on the small moments shared between herself and her commanding officer since their jarring encounter in the kitchen. From the subtle brush of his hand against hers when she’d deliver him one of his many coffees throughout the day, to the soft wandering touch of his fingers along her hip as he made his way round her in the kitchen to grab something, each little thing seemed to have a more than professional meaning to the young officer now, it was as if there was an unspoken agreement that a line had been crossed, but neither one of them was ready to push the boundary to the extent they had once before, something that both frustrated and baffled her to no end. 
It was times like now, as she was running meters deep in the tree line, dodging branch after branch, that she wished she had the courage to go back in the gym. Her body still had tremors whenever she thought of working out, it seemed, much to her dismay, that the assault many weeks ago in the base gym had scared her to her core, an upsetting thought at that. 
Shaking herself from her thoughts Ash urged her legs to move faster, running at a speed akin to her level before the assault, many things were taken from her that day, the biggest loss she found was her fitness. There was nothing Ash loved more than working her body to the point of exertion and then pushing it just that little bit further, now she was lucky to even get half of her usual routine in before she was crouched in the grass hurling up whatever was in her stomach, or clutching her side that was sparking in varying degrees of pain depending on the day.  
Head spinning and stomach clenching she made her way back to the house at a moderate speed, only slowing when she had to key in her code to the front door to make her way inside. She made quick work of showering and getting ready for the day before heading to the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on and wait for the Colonel to get up for his day, something that was now a comforting routine for her. It seemed, like most mornings, that Ash would not be waiting long for her commanding officer to make an appearance from his office. 
It was as if the smell of coffee brought the aforementioned man from his room, as a mere few moments after the first cup was poured he graced Ash with his presence. The joys of living away from the rules and regulations of base and being the commanding officer of his own unit meant that the dress standards of a regular operation did not apply for the currently unnamed task force he had in play. While ranks and marks of respect were still very much ingrained in the team, albeit questionably with the junior officer currently in his presence, the standards he once held so high were relaxed in this environment. The states of dress were not complete uniform or daily working rigs, but instead were that of an office rig. While their boots were still polished to the highest of standards and their pants ironed pristinely their working shirts were foregone and replaced with that of a dark green t-shirt with the insignia of their respective ranks printed on the right side of their chest and ‘army’ printed on the left side of their chest. 
While many of the force would remark that every soldier looked their best in the ceremonial dress uniform above all else; Ash would say that she much preferred this look on the Colonel. While he still carried the grace and posture of a man who earned his rank it was nice to see him in a seemingly more relaxed state, although Ash was sure that would change when the rest of the team arrived and their sanctity of peace would be interrupted when the work actually came rolling in. 
She greeted him with a warm smile, holding his fresh cup of coffee out towards him, while her traitorous mind briefly wandered back to the way he had pressed her against the bench and lit the spark to the now raging fire within her days ago. Ash could not conceal the small delighted shiver that wracked her body when his hand briefly covered her own while he procured his cup, nor could she deny the rush of heat that trickled out from where their bodies touched to where she craved it most.  She might have thought it embarrassing, if not for the expression on Carrillo’s face which could only be described as a look of pure unadulterated primal desire that he was so obviously trying to suppress. 
They worked together in comfortable silence, both knew the routine for breakfast like the back of their hands by now, not much had changed since they had first stepped foot in the house nearly five weeks ago, yes Ash had finally healed and yes there was some odd relationship escalating between the two of them, but nothing felt more right to her than standing side by side with the notorious Colonel Carrillo cooking breakfast and stealing fleeting lust filled glances at him when she was positive she wouldn’t get caught, despite secretly hoping she would. 
Ash was first to finish breakfast which was not an unusual feat, whether it from eating ration packs and questionable food for weeks on end in training or just due to the fact that the food Carrillo cooked was some of the best she’d ever had, there was never a meal where food was left on her plate; hungry or not the food was always demolished, his cooking was just that good. Ash gathered her plate and started on the clean up, it was in how she was raised that the cook never did the washing up so with that she never allowed the handsome Colonel help out once he was finished, something he used to protest but now just brushed off with a thankful smile before he grabbed what was left of his coffee and left to his office without a trace. 
This morning however went a little bit differently from the rest. Instead of standing from his chair to take his leave Carrillo rounded the bench to stand opposite Ash, while there was maybe a few feet of space between them she was now hyper aware of his presence. If he were to step just that little bit closer to her she could perhaps throw caution to the wind and enact her deepest fantasy; determining how tight of a grasp he really had on that control of his. As if sensing her thoughts the Colonel took a step closer to her. For a moment she dared not breathe, least that be a give away to what she was really feeling, her heart was beating in an erratic melody inside her chest, threatening to burst out and proclaim its desires to the man in question. 
Ash jumped when a hand came to rest on the small of her back, it being the last thing she had expected to happen. The searing heat of his palm seeped through the thin layer of her shirt and burrowed deep within her muscles relaxing her more than she'd care to admit. She shot him a wide eyed questioning glance as he settled against her side, a raised brow and a brief half smile was all she got in return as he took a sip of what was left of the coffee in his right hand.
Ash tried to act nonchalant but internally she was battling her thoughts, she was unable to determine if there was some ulterior motive behind his actions or if he was genuinely interested in her but if the rumour mill was anything to go by, he was not the kind of man to fuck around with someone for a selfish reason. Ash just wished there was a way where she could get some kind of definitive reaction from him so she could finally sus out his true motive, what reaction she wanted she wasn’t quite sure but anything was better than their subtle touches and nearly there encounters. 
So lost in the mess that was her own thoughts Ash failed to recognise the almost pained thoughtful look on the officers’ face before he closed the rather small gap that was already between them, their bodies now seamlessly slotted against each other in a way that was intimate in ways it shouldn’t be, but craved secretly by the both of them. He was testing boundaries he wasn’t quite sure still even existed between them, he was just far too cautious to step a foot in the wrong direction and make the younger officer uncomfortable, he needed her on the team more than he needed her to be his; at least that's what he told himself.
Ash did not flinch nor shy away from the comforting weight of him against her side, not even when his hand lifted from its welcomed position on her lower back so he could reach around her left side to grab at the coffee pot. It was a move that made Ash want to so desperately cuddle up into his side while his arm was around her like that, there was just something about the quiet confidence and deliberate softness of his actions that drew her in more each day. With a calculated movement he drew his arm back towards himself, stepping briefly away from her to finish pouring his now fresh cup of coffee before once again reaching behind her to replace the glass pot back to its original spot.
Ash felt rather than heard him turn around to lean his back against the bench, she had refocused herself onto the task at hand to not let herself get carried away with the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ behind his actions. He was a man of very few words but the intent and weight behind his actions was always methodical and intentional, that was perhaps the only thing that Ash could rely on to find some truth behind his actions. She could feel his eyes on her the entire time she was washing the dishes, the heat of his eyes travelled the length of her body multiple times, stopping in the odd place here and there before continuing on their path. It was now as she was finishing up the final few utensils that she felt his eyes on her face, she felt her face heat up at the thought, no doubt blushing a deep shade if the small huff of amusement from her right was anything to go by. 
Ash didn’t glance his way until she felt a few short taps against her hip, when she did glance his way she nearly choked on her own spit. His feet were outstretched with one ridiculously glassy boot hooked over the other, accentuating the length of his legs and showing just how well he filled out the fatigues, in more than one place. His hips were resting against the edge of the bench with his left palm flat on the countertop, coffee cup discarded just a few centimeters away. The way his arm bent accentuated the unbridled strength beneath the skin that was toned from all those years of vigorous work. She was unsure how a man could look so intimidating yet enticing at the same time, all she knew was that if she was given the chance she would let this man further into her life in a heartbeat. When her eyes finally made their way to his face she was met with a smirk and an amused glint in his eye, there was absolutely no denying she had been caught checking him out, but at this point she was beyond hiding it. In the half second she took to admire his face he was already speaking, though she never heard a word of what was said because she was too caught up in the rich honeyed colour of his eyes. It was only when he tapped her hip once more than she snapped out of her trance.
“Ash” he spoke softly, the tone commanding yet captivating, drawing her in, “I’ll be in my officer working on posting forms for the team if you need me..” he trailed off for a moment, seemingly deep in thought before adding “for anything, anything at all” with a flirtatious smirk and a well timed wink. He grabbed his cup off the counter before strutting off in the direction of his office, leaving a stunned wordless Ash standing in the kitchen mouth agape and staring in his direction. 
“God do I need you. In my bed. Naked.Preferably” Ash muttered under her breath, silently thanking the gods that the man the comment was directed at had already departed leaving her to run her mouth uncontrollably, like she tended to do around the Colonel. Taking a shaky breath and picking up the dishes to place them away in their respectful places Ash felt her mind wander. There were many a time she had woken from dreams of being pressed against the kitchen counter or his desk while he was balls deep inside her whispering sweet nothings in her ears, but now these little flirty moments were making her want to act on the situations, no matter how unprofessional that may be. She stood up straight from putting a cup away under the counter and was struck with a wave of dizziness, suddenly wary she made her way to the couch lowering herself slowly before closing her eyes to let the room settle. More tired than she though she was she felt herself drift off slowly, this time not fighting it, she definitely needed the rest. 
----
The Colonel had to admit to himself that he was getting more and more worked up around the stubborn young officer he resided with. Whether it from her lust filled glances she threw his way when she thought he wasn’t looking, to the subtle fleeting touch she would grant him when handing him files or a new cup of coffee. Each and every little touch and smile she threw his way was getting under his skin, and as much as he prided himself on control and professionalism, he wasn’t sure how much longer each was gonna last around her. There was just something about her that drew him in and made him want to throw out the years of by the book work he had done just for what could be the most rewarding relationship he would ever have.
He had left the kitchen warm all over from her touch, even the briefest brush against her side had been enough to heighten the ever mounting feelings he had for the girl, lust or otherwise. Deciding that doing paperwork in such a worked up state would only serve to make him more frustrated he decided that a workout in the home gym was exactly what he needed, it had already been a few days since his last workout and after cooping himself in his office it was definitely what he needed. As he made his way from his room intent on making it to the gym unnoticed his attention was drawn elsewhere. A soft sleepy sound came from the couch, too quiet for him to hear at this distance so he made slow quiet steps closer, not wanting to make a noise and accidentally wake the sleeping soldier who most definitely needed the rest.
Creeping closer to the noise just might has been his downfall, for when he got closer he noticed the frazzled state the girl was in. she was sweating and rolling round on the couch, seemingly uncomfortable, but just as he went to wake her. He froze. What he heard made his heart race, stomach dip and shorts become uncomfortably tight. The quietly moaned “Carrillo. Sir, please. Harder'' that escaped the sleeping girls’ mouth might have been the sweetest sound he’d heard his whole life. He let out a slow drawn out breath in an attempt to recenter himself, if anyone asked if he was affected by the words that tumbled out her mouth he would deny it at all cost, but his physical reaction to such words was something he couldn’t hide. Grunting lowly as he readjusted himself in his shorts he knew he needed to leave the room, the gym was now calling his name, as was the young officer on the couch before him, but that was a thought he needed to expel from his brain. He spun on his heel and headed for the gym, jamming his headphones in his ears and selecting one of the many pre-made workout playlists he had saved, he needed to focus on something other than the sweet sounds that fell from Ash’s mouth and the very prominent erection he currently had. Losing himself in a workout was the only way he knew how, so thats exactly what he did. 
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Ash was pretty sure she was stuck in a dream loop when the sounds of her dreams were suddenly plaguing her reality. Muted grunts and groans were echoing throughout the house, bouncing from one wall to the next and sending delighted shivers down her spine and a flurry heat straight to her core. She sat up abruptly, taking in her surroundings, there was only one or two places noises like those belonged, the gym or the bedroom, and given Carrillo’s bedroom door was wide open and she could see that the room was empty it clued her in to the fact that he was in the gym. The sudden bombardment of impure thoughts that clouded her now very awake brain were distracting to say the least, how often did one wake from a dream like she just encountered only for the exact scenario to practically be playing out in reality, whatever force was egging her on really knew how to play on her desires. 
Ash pushed up off the couch and wandered towards the gym on shaky legs, whether from the residual gratifying feelings of her dream or the current overwhelming sounds coming from the direction she was heading, she knew she had to get a grip on her feelings before she did something that could be considered dangerous. If Ash didn’t know there was a gym in their current residence she was sure there would be a string of jealousy coursing through her veins right now, the varying depths of the grunt and groans were a melody to her ears, ones she wish she could hear in another kind of physical situation. When she reached the open archway of the gym it was like all the air was sucked from her lungs, the sight before her like a devious punch to the gut. 
From where she was standing she had the utmost perfect view of the most virile man she’d ever seen. Drenched in a layer of sweat and huffing out the occasional grunt was Carrillo, delectably shirtless allowing Ash to drool at the tantalizing display of raw strength as the muscles bunched and twisted under his skin. There was no man on earth that could make bench pressing two hundred pounds look as easy as the Colonel did, the bulge of his biceps and bunch of his pecs as he brought the bar down had Ash subconsciously squeezing her legs together at the feelings it invoked in her, no man had the right to be that enticing, neither did the veins in his arms, which somehow seemed to become more prominent after each pass of the bar. Ash was glad for the fact she was leaning against a door frame for she was sure she would have either been on the floor or mounting the man before her if that was not the case. 
Ash only knew she had been staring too long when the room suddenly went quiet, so far in a hormone filled trace she had failed to notice her commanding officer stop exercising for a moment and sit up and watch her from his position. She felt the warm caress of his eyes take in her form from across the room, body heating further when she watched his tongue dart out across his lip before he delivered her a mind shattering smirk that made her knees weak and her pussy weaker. She watched as he stood from the bench, smirk still plastered on his face, and made his way in her direction, stopping short a mere few feet away. 
From this close Ash was able to watch entranced as a few drops of sweat trailed down from his temple and along the curve of his jaw before dripping onto his chest, flowing over the curved expanse of his pecs and further down his perfectly toned abdomen  to the waistband of his shorts. Shamefully, or maybe not, she let her eyes travel just that tad bit lower, barely concealing an unintentional moan of her own as the lasting effects of her dream combined with the tempting god of a man standing before her. Swallowing down the sounds that so desperately were trying to escape her throat she tilted her head back to meet the polished amber eyes of the walking heroine that was Carrillo. The richness of his eyes had been engulfed by the lust blown soulless depth of his pupils which were no doubt a positive reflection of her own enamoured gaze.
They stood there staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity before he finally broke the silence with words that might just haunt her for the rest of her days, “I couldn’t help but overhear, nice dream there was it Ashy” he questioned with an all knowing gaze, a small jolt of pride flowing through him when he realised he had her perfectly pinned down by his words. He watched bemused as multiple emotions crossed the face of the woman before him, her face flushed as she tried to find the appropriate way to address what he had said, but instead she just stood there for a moment gaping like a fish, he almost wanted to make a comment about her using her mouth for something else but decided his previous comment was torture enough. 
“Sir, I..., oh my god...” she trailed off, turning to face slightly away from him in an attempt to hide her face, even though she knew he’d already caught her expression, it would be hard not to this close. She had never felt so simultaneously embarrassed yet turned on by a situation, damn him and his stupidly handsome face. Luckily for her it seemed that Carrillo had had enough with his teasing for now as he turned away to move to the open space in the gym, doing a few deliberately slow stretches to catch her eye, before starting on what she guessed was a core workout, not that he needed it from his figure. Frustrated both mentally and physically  Ash decided that she too should crack on with a workout to try and let out her tension in a way that didn’t involve jumping the bones of the only other person she lived with and further complicating the already questionable situation they had placed themselves in. 
She made her way towards the boxing bag hanging in the corner, stopping to sit down on a lone chair to untie and remove her boots and socks and roll up her pants to a more practical level, she debated briefly on taking off her shirt to workout in just her bra and pants but thought against adding more fuel to the already roaring fire between the two of them. She wrapped her hands with a practiced ease, eyes wandering over to the other side of the room to admire the view while she worked autonomously. It was like the universe was playing a cruel joke on her today as she watched the Colonel move gracefully from situps in to pushups, she could only imagine herself underneath him as he powered through the pushups like they were nothing, her mind, ever the traitor, briefly flashed back to the time she was once underneath him while he was in a similar position, oh how she now wished that towel of his had just slipped off and that damn phone hadn’t rang that day, although she was sure that moment had kickstarted whatever was now lingering between them. 
Finished with wrapping her hands and quietly admiring the shirtless hunk across the room Ash got up and began stretching out her muscles, it had been a while since she had done anything more than run around the edge of the property, so a full body workout such as this would do her in if she didn’t warm up her muscles beforehand.  She started with a few simple combinations on the bag that she knew like the back of her hand, having practiced since she was only young, from there she slowly increased the amount of punches and kicks per combination, so far in the zone she failed to see Carrillo leave, much to her future disappointment. 
She was unsure how long she had been going before an unusual cold feeling overtook her body, the shakes of her muscles were no longer that of exhaustion but that of what she would assume was fear, her vision was tunneling on the bag, heart rate increasing to beyond that of physical labor and onto something more. Stubborn to a fault Ash pushed on, shaking out her arms and legs ever now and then to rid herself of the ghostly feeling. It was after one particularly bone rattling kick that she felt a presence behind her, thinking it was the man of her desires she spun around, only to be met with an empty gym, shaking her head at her own stupidity, she carried on. After the third feeling of someone behind her and Ash checking and failing to find someone she felt her vision darkening, she was dizzy beyond belief, beginning to hyperventilate and shaking all over when she felt herself fall to the floor, seconds before impact she could have swore she heard a male voice whisper “This is for my brother bitch” before she succumbed to the darkness. 
--------
A wave of panic shot through the normally emotionally stealed man when he saw the younger officer lying on the floor shaking and babbling. He'd seen similar things before back in Columbia after raids had gone wrong and comrades had been killed, there was no doubt in his mind that the poor girl before him was suffering from flashbacks and potentially even PTSD, something he wouldn’t wish upon anyone with his dying breath. Bending down he carefully scooped Ash up into his arms, being careful not to jostle her and give her a fright, before he hugged her tight to his chest, exaggerating his breaths in an attempt to get hers to even out and match his own. 
He made haste for the couch knowing it was one of her safe spaces, the last thing he needed was to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was. Rounding the corner into the lounge and taking a few quick strides into the room Carrillo went to place Ash down on the couch, only to have her cling to him desperately while shaking her head, the flash of pain that crossed her face and the small anguished cry she made had the man’s heart leaping into his throat. He was a man of duty and honor through and through, he looked after any team he commanded to the best of his ability, but seeing this girl, whom he had begun developing feelings for, in such pain was sending him for a loop, something which hasn't happened since he too was a junior officer. 
With Ash still bundled in his arms Carrillo snagged the blanket hanging off one of the smaller couches before wrapping it around the girls shoulders in an attempt to warm her up, she was shivering furiously, no doubt in shock from rehashing the trauma of her attack. He slowly lowered himself onto the couch, getting as comfortable as possible, before allowing a still slightly incoherent Ash to settle against his chest. He began slowly rubbing up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her, while whispering sayings in his native tongue that his mother used to use to calm him down as a boy. It took a while but Ash slowly started to breathe normally against him, her shaking ebbed away and the babbling that she had been doing when he found her had disappeared. Even as her body began to relax she made no move to get off his lap or out of his arms, something that signalled her trust in him and also managed to put him at ease. 
Ash was hyper aware when she came to, her body was unusually warm on one side and deceptively cold on the other, she took note of the blanket around her shoulders and the strong anchor of an arm wrapped securely around her, providing great comfort when she definitely needed it. Her head was resting comfortably against the strong plane of his shoulder, his breathing seemed deliberately slowed in a far too practiced way, as if he was used to dealing with situations such as this. She cursed herself for being so weak that she needed to be, what she guessed was, carried from one room to the next because she allowed her emotions to get the better of her, a small part of her recognised that this was uncontrollable after the trauma she had faced, but a larger darker part of herself felt ashamed for needing to rely on the comfort of her commanding officers’ arms to calm her frenzied mind and frayed emotions. 
Ash swallowed thickly, tears coming to her eyes, as a wave of deep seated shame overtook her senses. She felt bad for Carrillo, he never signed up for looking after a broken soldier like herself, there was no need for him to be so kind to her, maybe it was best she asked to leave the team, lest she make him shoulder the burden that was her broken soul. She made a move to climb from his lap, only to be brought impossibly close to his warmth when the solid weight of his arm tightened momentarily in warning. If there was ever any doubt that she didn’t belong right where she sat then in that moment it was wiped away, such a simple action had her wanting to bare her soul to the man before her, so broken and touch starved she was that she almost laughed at the humility of her thoughts. 
She sniffled despite not wanting to show the emotions that were clouding her thoughts, she wanted to be strong in front of her commander, not some weak girl who couldn’t cut it in the force. It seemed that the attack that day in the gym had had more of an affect that anyone really could have imagined, so far the doctors had left her in the capable hands of her CO, not that she was complaining, but there was definitely something underlying that was worrying both Ash and the Colonel respectively, neither could put a finger on what though. 
Carrillo felt the sudden staggering of her breaths, she was trying to hide something, and he gathered it wasn’t something that should be hidden. He lifted his left hand slowly and gently grasped her chin to tilt her head up from looking at her hands clasped in her lap to somewhat awkwardly making eye contact with him. The sight of her watery red rimmed eyes made him ache in an uncomfortable but somehow not unwanted way, he wanted to be the person she could come to and vent out her concerns without fear of what might come of the situation, he wanted in every way possible to be that stable force in her life, for better or for worse. He knew from experience that he should quickly disregard these kinds of thoughts, it was entirely too early to be getting this deep with a fellow soldier, let alone a junior officer who he was in command off, but despite knowing all that was stacked against him he just couldn’t stay away, this was something he would pressure until his dying breath. 
Ash could see the wheels in his head turning, his thoughts no doubt flying through his head and being batted away for another time, the formidable Colonel was known for his hard exterior but in this moment she wasn’t sure she could believe the things she had heard. His hand had only just barely moved away from her face, just kind of hovering in her space, a gentle reminder that he did, infact, have a compassionate side, one that she was beginning to see more and more. From this angle meeting his eyes was uncomfortable, feeling brave Ash decided to shift the position into something teetering the edge of the forever thinning professional line between them. She moved quickly but still giving him time to push her away, gathering one leg from underneath her she shifted it to the right so she was straddling his lap, chest to chest and nearly overwhelmingly intimate. 
From this new position she had the perfect opportunity to really take him in, subconsciously her hand came up to cradle his face, lightly tracing over his brows before flowing over his cheekbone, Ash smiled softly when his stormy eyes fluttered shut as he lent into her palm, touch it seemed was something they both craved, she continued lightly tracing over his facial features finally coming to a halt with her palm resting along the side of face, thumb hovering just a few millimeters away from his lips. With his eyes still closed she was almost tempted to close the gap between them to thank him for looking after her, but also in a selfish need to fulfill a small portion of her desires. Instead of following through on that thought, she spoke quietly, not wanting to break this small moment of peace, “Sir, I want to thank you for everything you’ve done, I.... uh...” her voice broke, emotions overwhelming her, “Its just, no one has done this much for me since i was a kid, and i know you didn’t sign up for this so...” her speech was cut off when he placed his finger against her lips, effectively silencing her.
“For one..” he started off strongly “I’m just doing what any good commander would do, you’re part of the team Ash, we look after our own, and two” his voice dropped just that little bit lower, taking on a rough gravelly tone “Please call me Horacio”
Ash just stared at him blankly for a moment while processing his words then at nothing more than a quiet whisper she breathed out his name, a jolt of understanding and desire coursing through her body when a lazy smile overtook his features. Whatever was left of the line of professionalism between them had been shattered in that moment, the overwhelming warmth of his eyes made her heart beat faster in her chest, decision made she leant forward slightly while tilting his head up to meet her own, the first brush of their lips against each others was brief, testing in a way, she went to pull back to assess his reaction but just as she began moving her head away he surged up, reconnecting their lips in a kiss that was all consuming. 
He was everywhere and nowhere all at once, too close but somehow too far away, everything that had led up to this moment was poured out in one deep soul shattering kiss that would be burnt into her memory for years to come. The kiss was all teeth and tongue, methodical and thorough and by all means gratifying. He kissed her like a man starved, thrusting his tongue past her parted lips and drowning himself in the taste and feel of her body, committing her to memory while she did the same with him. His hands had moved from her face down to her ass, pulling her even tighter against him in an attempt to satisfy every waking desire he held for her. Her hands found purchase on his shoulders as she ground down on him, the small moan of satisfaction that escaped her lips was soon drowned out by the gravely moan that left his throat when her hands came up to tug on his hair. 
The sound of a camera shutter followed by the sounds of barely concealed joyous laughter had the two of them breaking apart, Ash climbing rather hurriedly from his lap and Horacio’s hands flying out to steady her as she stumbled slightly, her mind still sluggish from the intensity of their kiss . Ash looked towards the front door where the noise had come from only to find Henry standing there with the smuggest smile he could muster plastered on his face, that little bastard. Even while annoyed from being ripped from her moment of bliss she couldn’t be angry at him, but appearances were everything, so without a noise of warning she bolted for the barely older soldier, tackling him to the ground and cursing him out only loud enough for Henry himself to hear. 
Having had enough of being beat down on Henry flipped them over, effectively pinning Ash to the ground and already setting his plan in motion, he was entirely too eager to start pissing the Colonel off, especially now that he had caught him and Ash sucking faces on the couch, making him jealous just might be too easy of a feat now. He smiled cheekily down at Ash, the look in his eye no doubt sending the message to her that he was ready to cause mischief, that smile of his grew when she imperceptibly shook her head at him. Ever the annoying older brother type he was he began tickling her, delighting in the way she tried to escape and started screeching at him to stop, instead of doing that he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder and he made haste towards her room, already knowing which was hers from the messages his fiance had received from the giggling girl over his shoulder.
Reaching her room he kicked the door shut with his foot before not so gracefully throwing Ash onto the bed, trying not to curl over dying of laughter when she began rolling round on the bed clutching her stomach and laughing breathlessly while trying to speak. Her laughter suddenly stopped when there was a slight banging noise from a few rooms over which seemed to sober her up, looking at Henry with wide eyes she gulped, “Omg, you idiot, he’s gonna bloody kill you for that!”
Henry just shrugged while flopping on the bed beside her, “That's the plan Ashy, we are gonna make that man so jealous he doesn’t know what to do with himself, then you’ll really be enjoying yourself” he said with a jovial wink. 
Ash just groaned before smacking him square in the face with a pillow, she really did love him like a brother but sometimes Henry was an idiot, “Lemme guess, you and lisa made a bet on the Colonel and I, and then you being the idiot you are decided you wanted to take it to the extreme?” she questioned, rolling her eyes when he nodded while giving her the best puppy dog eyes he could muster. Throwing her hands up in the air she huffed, “ok fine, but nothing that’ll weird either of us out, and we only do this until something solid happens between Carrillo and I, deal?” she stuck her hand out to seal their little deal.
“Definitely deal kiddo, now, wanna see Lisa’s reaction when I send this scandalous photo of you and our CO kissing through to her?” The boyish smile he sent her way had her smiling like an idiot. Yup, her brother really was a dumbass. 
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