#i can make everything about The Narrative but sometimes its just Like That already

[asurrogateblog]

all in all it was all just ducks on the wall

[pachimation]

redrawing my very first chiscara comic/art i ever did for chscr day!!

old comic under the cut!!

lol a bunch of sappy semi serious stuff below bc i cant help but be a bit genuine about this ship today :’3

i cant possibly put into words how important this silly little ship and its community mean to me haha,,,, this comic was made in 2021 but i didnt really get serious about chscr until late 2022 after a bunch of pretty bad interpersonal stuff happened and i needed an outlet,, COINCIDENTALLY a certain someone was announced to be playable around then and i was already thought chscr was Pretty Neat™️ so i ended up diving headfirst into the ship. it also gave me a good excuse to work on more comics too!! i’d done a pretty big zhongven comic earlier that year in the summer, but in terms of lore there was only so much i could have worked with at the moment.

childe and scaramouche have that perfect combination of silliness and angst and violence that could be explored or expanded in so many ways and i love love love seeing other people’s interpretations of their dynamic and relationship. they’re so complex,,,,they’re narrative foils,,,they’re narrative parallels,,,they’re trans allegories,,,they’re flies in the spiderweb of the games lore,,,they’re my stupid little meow meows,,, they’re just two losers i want to see make out,,,

in a nutshell, they’re everything to me. well, i hope i get that kind of sentiment across in my own comics,,,,

and i cant get started on all the people ive met through chiscara or the way that having something i can call “my thing”, as in, the thing that i like and that i will spend a lot of time and effort (and money, but lets not talk about that) to surround myself with because it makes me smile. its stupid to say, but being a nerd about these two stupid guys who have never had a single canon onscreen interaction in some random game has made me a much happier and confident person that i could have ever imagined back in my freshman year of college,,, when i say i dont know who i’d be if i hadnt gotten into chiscara, i really do mean it lol

i’m actually surprised i’m making it to over a full year of regular-ishly making art, especially for the same game and ship! thats never happened before and my art has improved so much over this past year!! more than anything else, i’m happy! i get to be excited talking about these characters with my friends and i love to see art of them pop up on the tl. i make stickers of them and decorate my phonecase with them and have little figures of them in my room that i look at when im up late at night working on schoolwork. sometimes just the thought of finishing a comic or daydreaming about a scenario or seeing what my mutuals are up to are some of the few things getting me through a tough day.

,,,,so believe me when i say, to both childe and scara and to everyone else as obsessed with these pathic losers as i am, thank you! i’m having a lot of fun!!!

(also i just found out tumblrs copy/paste doesnt work on my ipad??? idk if this ends up legible i may or may not have deleted smth by accident and im not in a mood to proofread haha)

[cerastes]

It's kind of amazing that a horny game like Nikke actually included stuff like Cyberpsychosis. Nikkes going insane or committing suicide if they are reminded too much that they are actually full-conversion cyborgs. The reason why they don't have a lot of cool gadgets like built-in thrusters or weapons. And then you have someone like Snow White who replaced a large chunk of her body with enemy robot parts.

Nikke is this really cool thing to have Existing in the space, even if I don't play it anymore, because of how charmingly unbalanced it is as a whole, making the charming parts of it all the more apparent.

It's got barebones gameplay, the seams of which burst the moment you do high level content and realize there's not much it can do due to its limited concept. Combat rarely translates to whatever is going on in any story thematically, being thus gameplay being more of an abstraction. There is a gulf and an ocean of power between fellow characters of the same rarity, meaning a max rarity character might do absolutely fuck all while another one, with the same odds, might snap the game in two with ease. It's story is absolutely nothing to write home about. It's a setting that can be best described as "self-indulgent incel nice guy heaven", where your character is The Only One to be nice to all these poor second class citizen superpowered voluptuous supermodel living weapons with tits two times your head and asses big and heavy enough to easily crush cars. Everything jiggles. It's so insanely predatory with its flash sales after every little thing you do.

And yet, the basic story it tells, it tells well. It's fun. It's entertaining. It knows what it is, and it has fun with itself, but it doesn't throw all pretense, either. It walks the razor-edge thin line between having a goof and telling a story with emotional depth. What it doesn't have in complexity or originality, it makes up for in sheer moment-to-moment, with good scenes, with good execution of things we've already seen. The showdown with Modernia lives rent free in my mind, Commander loading the Vapaus round, as Modernia or Marian, no way of telling, begs them to put down the weapon, because she's already back to normal, Commander shooting, and Modernia catching it with her teeth, and then growling the most guttural threat with freshest purest fury: "You shot me. Your really shot me! Shikikan!" and then drilling Commander right through the chest. And everything that happens after in that scene. It's got interactions out the wazoo, both mundane and touching. It has music that goes from "background music that really works" to "handcrafted for the moment and the character in its excellence". I think it's because Nikke knows what it is, but doesn't reach the self-mockery rung of the ladder. It knows what it's doing, and it's still sincere about it, even if it dares have fun at its own expense sometimes.

So, with that on the table, the take on Cyberpsychosis present in Nikke is incredibly powerful as a narrative tool because it tells you just how much of a jury-rigged slapdash product Nikke are. They are not cutting edge technology, they are literally something they pumped out quick as can be while telling everyone in the world that's still alive that they are cutting edge technology. And all, all of the safeguards are ultimately subject to willpower and perspective. Some Nikke go insane if they are too machine-like. Snow White has basically rebuilt herself over and over hundreds of times in her forever war. Nikke cannot aim at humans, so Crow instead puts a steel plate on the ground and ricochets her bullets off of those to shoot Commander successfully. Aiming is something you do with your senses normally, right? Rose figured out that she can just wear a blindfold and convince herself that what she's slashing is not a human, but a Rapture, and that's how she disemboweled and killed her Commander. Just by not seeing and fervently believing.

It's really, really cool how they go about it.

[utilitycaster]

Do you think any of the other items the party has rn (ie Ashton’s hammer, Imogen’s robe) could become more relics of the red solstice? If yes, which god do you think would bless them? Vox Machina probably not, they’ve got all their vestiges already, but do you think the Mighty Nein could earn any?

I don't think this will be much of a focus, to be honest; Matt just poked fun at his Campaign 1 fetch quests. I especially don't think it will be a significant focus of the Mighty Nein as I think they and Vox Machina will only be viewpoint characters for their specific missions; a couple episodes at most. And, to be honest, one of my favorite things about the Mighty Nein is that they were never terribly focused on magic items to the ridiculous (affectionate) extent Vox Machina were. No shade to Vax but I think a lot of people did not realize that without two vestiges and an overpowered homebrew item and a bending of the rules re: smiting on thrown items, he's just a guy with 30 feet of movement who can attack twice with a dagger in melee and pump in a second level smite once he gets to the high levels.

I think it is possible with Bells Hells, but I suspect it will only really be those who sought out any kind of relationship with a god, even if it's relatively last minute. I'd love to see an exploration of Braius since I really don't think Asmodeus is fueling those paladin levels, but otherwise, Imogen and Ashton are currently the only ones with plans, so the gods in question are the Stormlord and the Arch Heart. It would be a nice touch, personally, if the Changebringer showed up and perhaps imbued the fragments of FCG with something minor, but I'd also be happy if the only relic we have is Seedling simply because again, Orym's the only one who's really been pursuing this consistently.

Just for a quick elaboration, I think one thing with the Vestiges that Matt realized is firstly, if he gives the party a list of everything, they will try to catch 'em all, which led to some episodes in C1 that, frankly, didn't have much connection to the characters and their goals (specifically the Fire Plane stuff; also while its retrieval was great, Scanlan used Mythcarver like, twice, and once was to do a two gnomes in a trenchcoat situation); and that you can end up with some really fucked party balance. I remember in Campaign 2 when people felt like everyone should get a Vestige again once it became apparent the Star Razor was one, but Fjord was a sword-focused character who put immense work into a relationship with a god; some classes and characters are just not item-based in the same way. To make D&D balanced, sometimes some characters get more toys; and also, following specific narrative paths is rewarded by the GM because it involves player dedication or risk or is just really fun and cool.*

I will also note that while time is short, not all the Vestiges of Divergence were tied to a deity. One could get a relic created by mortals; I don't, for example, know what Dancer and Imahara Joe are up to.

*at the risk of taking a pretty straightforward post and turning into an avenue of discourse, this is yet another reason why the "Raven Queen/Wildmother relationships with Vax and Orym are abusive" arguments feel in such profoundly bad faith and, quite frankly, taste, that they're hard to even engage with. It's such a deeply bleak and cynical worldview out of game to say "yeah, I think the GM is looking at an interesting player choice and is punishing them for it," even more so with a player like Liam, a person who is not precious with his characters and does not see tragedy or death in the service of a cause at the close of the story as narrative failure.

[greenerteacups]

Hey GT, glad to see you're back! I'm still halfway thru Lionheart (just read the world cup chapter, what a delight) and your notes got me wondering.

I'm sure you've probably answered this before but how do you manage to make the world feel so rich? I'm not that into the fandom so I don't know If there are some things fanon agreed upon or if it is your own musings about the magic world. Like Draco explaining to Hermione about portkeys or how many languages Krum speaks.

How do you decide what's important enough to get a mention? Where do you go when you need answers and Canon is not enough to provide it?

Thanks for the kind words, and for the question! It's a matter of personal taste, like anything. Some writers prefer an athletic, streamlined plot, with only as much worldbuilding as you absolutely need (how does Panem run a command economy of 4.5 million people primarily on fossil fuels when its coal district has a population of less than 10,000? fuck off! who cares! they're Y/A dystopias about a TV show where teens beat each other to death!). Some writers, on the other hand, won't bother to start the story until they know the pH of the soil in every region of the world they're writing about. I'm somewhere on the second half of the scale, in that I'll give details that aren't strictly necessary to the plot, just because I like to feel like I'm writing about a world where real, extraneous things can happen. Some details are foreshadowing; some details are Special Mouseketools that will Help Us Later; and sometimes, you just get to know a cool fact about portkeys.

I guess part of the fun of building out a world is getting to think about Everything, which is what my brain normally does. I have a pretty broad body of literature as a starting gate, so there's plenty of room to play. E.g., when I started writing Krum, I thought about how he's not super fluent in English in canon, and that naturally made me ask why, because he clearly has taken English, so either he only started lessons recently or it hasn't been a priority for him; and then I went "wait, what's his first language? Bulgarian, right? But Durmstrang isn't — hang on—" and then I pulled up an actual map of Europe, which led me to realize that he wouldn't likely be speaking his first language at Durmstrang, which means he already had to become bilingual just to start his wizarding education, and that explains part of why he doesn't have a ton of time/effort to spare for a third language, plus he'd probably have a translator available whenever he traveled with a team because he's a B.F.D. — etc., etc. And then you keep thinking about that until you remember that you're supposed to be writing a fic, and you scramble to get back to doing that. Only now, you have worldbuilding! Congrats.

To try for an even halfway useful answer to your question: worldbuilding becomes most important when it creates limitations, because limitations define your characters and give them chances to develop/reveal themselves. So the details of portkeys become important because they explain the limitations of magical travel, which is a big nebulous ??? in the original series, since the introduction of teleportation via Apparating means that all other forms of transportation become inefficient by comparison. It also means the limitations introduced by travel — that is, not all characters can be in all places at once — also go away, because anyone can be anywhere immediately. From a narrative perspective, this sucks massive horse ass. Hence: I dumped a shit ton of limitations on Apparation (i.e., (1) it requires a ton of energy, (2) it's really fucking hard, (3) it's really fucking dangerous, (4) it's more of both the farther away you're going, (5) it's more of both the more people you take with you, (6) you can't Apparate without a clear destination in mind which means (7) you need to have been there already, and so (8) some people prefer not to do it). Hence, I also put limitations on portkeys (i.e., they have to be set up well in advance, you need to identify out both destinations precisely beforehand, and the calculations are difficult to do). Those limitations, and the Watsonian explanations you create for them, are your worldbuilding. They're what make the world feel real, because they give it grit and character. They give you a more complete sense of what you can and cannot do.

The rest of it is taste and preference, really; it's what interests you, and what parts of the world you want to explore. That's going to be unique to every author, and that's the beauty of worldbuilding — it reflects the parts of the world that you like to think about.

[wolfsetfree-if]

Another anon's two-cents if you'd like,

I think it's okay and even good that it might be frustrating. It makes a ton of sense for a game about healing to have frustrating moments because healing itself not garunteed to be a smooth or even linear process which IS frustrating when you just want to heal and return to normalcy. It isnt throwing a wrench in the works fot the sake of padding the plot or weighing down the pacing, it feels natural and serves a narrative purpose, lending weight to the idea that healing is a long, sometimes complicated process that isn't always smooth sailing. so the narrative, if anything, is advanced when mc encounters a potentially frustrating wall or set back. And not only does it make for an understandable and relatable story, but if you want to give potientially frustrated players a way to vent that within the story itself it could turn a frustration with the story's mechanicals or pacing to a way to empathize with mc.

Giving mc the chance to experience and react to setbacks through hope, frustration, or dejection in these situations literally builds their character, and being able to interact with that character building process in different ways depending on our mood or the kind of character we want to play through choices, even if its just an emotional response, is a big part of what makes interactive fiction so compelling in the first place!

Sorry for the wall of text, either way I'll enjoy the story, Im already invested in mc and their new pack and looking forward to updates 🥰

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful ask, anon. I completely empathise and agree with everything you said.

It is why I have decided to go with this path, because as you said it fits the main theme of healing of the game, and healing is painful, frustrating and can bring one step forward and three steps back.

I'm going to try my best to both describe MC's emotions and give the players varied possible reactions to the setbacks MC will go through.

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

Do you think Boscha should have been explored more or given a proper characterization instead of just pushing her aside or using her as a convenient threat? I don't think TOH acknowledged her or her feelings very much. And it spreads to the fandom too - I've met some truly awful fans who wanted her to die or be expelled or lose all her friends and family. Or all three. I do not think either the show or fans gave her fair treatment. She has kind of a low-key Belos treatment - hints are shown and it's clear to people deep enough in fandom that she's more than a flat bully, but the show chooses to keep her as a flat bully and not treat her as a person who may be traumatized from Amity suddenly snubbing her out of the blue and telling her to grow up and then everything that happened in the Collector's apocalypse. She's my favourite character, and I think part of it may be because I like the idea of her escaping everything and having a future she likes somewhere else. Preferably still in contact with Amelia and Cat and not with them refusing to speak to her ever again like so many seem to want. Has the literal child not suffered enough already, especially with them being turned to puppets?? She is going to have PTSD from everything, and that is a fact. She deserves to learn and grow and not be a punching bag for fans and characters in fan works to snub and beat up because the show did not do its job fleshing her out. And after Belos was stomped on, part of me can't help but wonder if Dana would endorse Willow beating up Boscha and her losing her friends and future too.

Justice for Boscha. She deserves more than this show.

Sorry to say, anon, but I barely remember anything about Boscha. While I sympathize with wanting to see your favorite character treated with more "respect" and as a deep character, sometimes, characters just fulfill a basic narrative role and that's it. And that's okay.

Since I can't adequately answer this ask, I've decided to outsource it. The following response is from @mdhwrites a certified Boscha fan: "NO.

I fucking love Boscha but absolutely not.

Honestly, if anyone wanted to have this, it should have been Amity. Commit to her being a bully. However, Boscha is a bit character who's narrative purpose is to make the audience further want her to abandon the entirety of her whole life for Luz. To make it so that it seems like literally everything to do with who she was before Luz was pure evil. As such... She honestly should have been LESS nuanced.

Kind of like Odalia, if you ask genuinely how terrible Boscha is, the answer is not really, including in relation to Amity. She follows Amity faithfully. Amity is the only person she doesn't mock, criticize or be cruel to. She doesn't target specific people for her bully tendencies, instead just being oppurtunistic of being fun. She never decided one person had to be eternally miserable like Amity did with Willow. Yes, there's Winging it Like Witches but that episode only functions if Boscha ALREADY DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WILLOW. She TURNED into focusing on Willow and by all signs would have stopped the intensity once Willow was no longer taking her spotlight. Yes, she's not the best person in the world but most people in Hexside, from what we can tell of her status as an outcast, would have said the same thing Boscha did about Willow: She's a failure and associating with her is social suicide.

I mean... I literally made a 300k story where Boscha became the main character because of the conflicts in the narrative intention and execution when it came to her character. I then added her as a major character to one of the longest things I have ever written, Little Miss Rich Witch kind of because they're right. Boscha has a lot of interesting elements going on with her that I can't tell if they were intended or not. They seem intended with S3 but even S3 makes her look terrible and is painful to watch as everyone discards her. The poster is just right that Boscha went through WAY fucking worse than Luz quite literally ever did. What Luz feared would happen to her if she told the truth, Boscha had happen to her following all the social rules that her best friend taught her or reinforced. What the fuck?

But again... Would that have made a better show? No. Boscha didn't actually have a place in this show besides as a punching bag. As someone to shirk blame off of from Amity, much like Odalia and hey, do you recognize that both of those characters are treated like they are somehow worse than Belos? Almost like Amity had a lot of fans projecting onto her which says TERRIBLE things about those people's unwillingness to recognize Amity's own monstrousness and willingness to just blame others? Amity is one of the most awkward elements of the show, given so much time and clear narrative direction with fucking awful execution that characters like Boscha suffer around her.

Boscha also suffers from TOH's "I'm not like other kid's shows" problem because other kid's shows would have written her more evil. Would have gone more over the top. They kept her grounded though because that's the more realistic and nuanced and 'mature' take. It's also just the worse one for your narrative."

[rhaenin-time]

oh no another break from my break because yes i did end up watching the episode.

It's SO bad you guys. To the point that I can see into the writers' room. They didn't even bother to close the drapes!

BUT! must... finish... chapter... and... establish... habit... of continuing to write despite HotD's bad practices because I've come too far...

I swear it's not a sunk cost fallacy. Okay it's a sunk cost but also I DO want to finish because I'm clearly still not ready to settle into original work, I don't want to start a new fic in a different fandom, and also... I do want to finish what will be a ridiculously long fic because I want to. Why is it so hard? Because everytime I put time aside and sit down to it, I start breaking down HotD's writing problems instead because thinking about F&B canon and thinking about where HotD went wrong... is kind of one and the same. Pretty much everything wrong with it can be traced back to deviating from the book.

Ugh, it's just annoying because before I started, I did read up a lot about specifically what kind of fic writing is actually beneficial for practicing original novel writing skills. And one of the big rules is that you need to resist the urge for wish-fulfillment or indulging in head canons with little basis in canon (nothing wrong with those fics they're just not considered a good way to build skills that transfer over to novel writing) and aside from your intentional and well thought out deviations, you're supposed to remain as consistent with the source material's themes, worldbuilding, and characterizations as you can.

Problem is that HotD already broke those rules in their expensive fanfic people keep claiming is canon. Problem is... I too included it as canon. Because I already accounted for the changes season 1 made to Fire & Blood and part of the challenge that actually started off as fun was reconciling those changes and trying to merge them with the source material.

But they've gone too far! And I know it sounds kind of weird and pretentious and self-aggrandizing (I am all those things don't get me wrong) but I'm annoyed that now it might look like it's MY fic that decided to do whatever it wants with canon, especially characterization. Because especially when there's so much bigotry and politics involved, I actually find it kind of distasteful when fic writers intentionally disregard established themes, characterization and worldbuilding in order to indulge in bigoted mindsets and interpretations. Don't get me wrong, I'm not arguing for censorship or anything I just find it distasteful, and bad practice when the writer is unwilling to admit what they're doing and those interpretations find their way into the actual fandom and you get people arguing for them regarding the actual source material. Again, especially when bigotry and bad politics are involved.

Which is also annoying because so many of HotD's unjustified deviations are rooted in the bigoty and bad politics that, again, Fire & Blood actually condemns. And (that part of) this fandom is so annoying as it is. And as weird as it sounds I actually was trying really hard to "lead by example" and be as fair as I could to the greens, because, again, I'm trying to develop good writing practices.

Anyways, I guess this is a Fire & Blood merged with season 1 fic now, and everything will now err on the side of Fire & Blood. Anything established after season 1 is just Corlys's ep 8 - ep 10 fever dream and he wakes up in real canon which errs toward book canon aside from the changes season 1 made that I already accounted for. HotD has not earned the right to call itself its own narrative, so it's part of the greater metanarrative that Fire & Blood is a part of. Maester Condal's volume is simply... a conflicting account that has strong evidence for part 1 that sometimes even overrides Gyldayn's accounts, but he ran out of material and started making shit up and the challenge is in figuring out WHERE. Somewhere in between, the real story lurks...

Feel free to swipe that for your own sanity.

Is it unhinged that I'm claiming that my sometimes crackfic where the key players include Rhaenyra's boobs, Laenor's lube mummy, and Rhaenys's mop dummy is more respectful to Fire & Blood than HBO is? Yes. But is it also true? Also yes. And that's the damning part.

This has been an unedited rant.

Edit:

Wait. Do I take this in a meta direction for my author's notes? Since Aemond is Condal's blatant and uncomfortably telling self-insert... Hmm... You know Aemond’s pretentious study group I made up because I think it's weird that HotD doesn't realize that it's downright impossible for royals to be as isolated as they try to claim? Well, one of the members is named Ryam Condal. And he went on to write a *totally true account. Unfortunately, he was too young and naive to see Aemond for the dweeb he actually is, and also Aemond gave him weird ideas about dragons and Targaryens that he never unlearned.

edit edit

Wait. Should I truly invent a Condal insert named Condal who's slightly younger than Aemond and has a dumb admiration for him and wants to know why he doesn't come to their study group anymore now that Rhaenyra's around to properly educate him?

[waystarresourceco]

It occurs to me as I was recently rewatching Chiantishire that something I didn’t pay attention to the first time around is how Caroline handles discussions of the past, particularly the Logan-Caroline divorce and its aftereffects. Unlike Logan, who basically bulldozes his way through memories to reconstruct a future he can handle, Caroline’s engagement in ‘the past’ seems dependent on who she’s talking to.

Long Caroline-Shiv-Kendall post beneath the cut.

I get the sense from Chiantishire that Shiv wasn’t very aware of the details of the divorce. She didn’t really know how or why Caroline left – just that her mother wasn’t there. And in her absence, Logan’s narrative became Shiv’s truth: Caroline didn’t want her – didn’t even care enough to fight to keep her in her life. So fine. Shiv doesn’t want her either. And in Italy, she let Caroline know that.

And then something interesting happens - Caroline actually engages. She admits that she wasn’t the greatest mother in one breath and brandishes a verbal knife with another. “I may have been a bit of a spotty mother but you’ve been a shitty daughter.” It’s vicious all the way around, but it’s a kind of mutual wounding. It’s a conversation. The past is painful, but it’s open for renegotiation. Because underneath it all, there’s the heart of something still alive between the two of them.

But with Kendall...with Kendall there’s nothing left to engage in because the distance is already too great.

In the cut scene from Pre-Nuptial, we get this gem:

Here, Kendall tries to forgive Caroline for the same “abandonment” Shiv brings up in Chiantishire, but it’s met with a very different response from Caroline. Instead of an acknowledgement of being a “spotty mother,” Caroline goes on the offensive. She presses him on the double standard he’s applying to her because this is an old hurt, one that has its roots in how Kendall is always Logan’s, even when he’s privy to details that should make him think differently.

There’s an underlying implication in Caroline’s response that suggests Kendall has much more of a picture of what led to the divorce than Shiv does. As the oldest, the heir, and Logan’s sometimes confidant, Kendall would have likely had a front row seat to the breakdown of his parents’ marriage. To the moment Logan banished Caroline from her children’s lives. And while he might not have known everything, to Caroline he was capable of knowing the difference between leaving and being pushed out.

And her son’s blame? It’s not unexpected. Kendall has always been Logan’s. Was stamped with his father’s name from the moment he was born. But that doesn’t make it sting any less when her first born, the one she sees her temperament in, sides with the man forcing her out. And while I think Caroline and Kendall weren’t particularly close before the divorce, I can imagine this being the fracture that was never set. An injury that never quite healed right, unable to support the weight of a relationship from that point forward.

Sure, Caroline will coo when she sees him. But that’s because she loves all of her children – including Kendall. Because no matter what, she really does want to be in their lives. But she won’t engage with him the way she will with Shiv because there’s a world of difference between Shiv, who has the ability to one day understand her, and Kendall, who has already chosen not to. So really, what is there left to say? Kendall’s made it clear; he’s chosen to become his father’s creature, to adopt his narrative and echo his actions – and Caroline can’t stomach suffering his blame. But with Shiv? Maybe some day, if they keep at it, they’ll end up on the same page.

As a general note, these relationships are obviously super complex and have a lot more going on than just musings about the divorce so to save this from getting too long and disorganized, second and third parts on Shiv and Caroline and on Kendall and Caroline already in the works haha. Will go back and link them all together as they’re written and posted. If you made it to the end – thank you for listening to the ramblings of an insane Carolinegirl.

[zalia]

Experiencing Destiny 1 as a D2 player

I picked up Destiny 1 in a sale recently despite being told a lot about its problems, and honestly I'm really enjoying playing it! I feel a bit like a time traveller visiting important places and events from the past.

I also have friends who played Destiny nearly from the beginning and it's fun to go back and go 'ooooh that's what they were talking about!'. I am also very aware that if I had started playing it without already being invested, I would be having considerably less fun. (Also, being fair, much of the fun is doubtless novelty after playing *mumbletymumble* hours of D2 over the past couple of years).

But it's genuinely been really interesting from a design and narrative perspective going back to it and seeing where the story began and how things have changed and I wanted to ramble about it. Full disclosure, I have played up through the first couple of missions of The Taken King. There are also things I can't comment on such as Crucible (because getting enough players for a match has not happened yet), events (no longer happening) etc. Also haven't managed to run a raid yet but hopefully will eventually!

I will start with the bad, to get it over with. A lot of stuff here will be well known and honestly it's probably less interesting than the good/thinky stuff.

The Bad

Oh boy I have maligned D2's New Light introduction so badly since it is miles ahead of D1 just by merit of actually having one! D1 gives you the opening run through the Cosmodrome where they tell you what buttons to use and then refuses to explain anything ever again. (This very definitely ties into it being a game I enjoy now but would probably not have enjoyed if I wasn't already invested)

You don't realise how many QoL improvements D2 has until you have to go to orbit and select a new destination every single time. Also no fast travel points. And no you cannot just look at a map of the place you're traversing. Fashion is difficult too.

Up until Taken King, I am not sure why they bothered hiring voice actors for anyone except Ghost, Elsie Bray, and maybe the Speaker. And I have no idea why they hired Bill Nighy for that part (I mean I do, it's because they wanted to use Big Names for marketing but still...). The Vanguard could easily be replaced with cardboard cutouts because they are basically uninvolved in anything until Taken King begins. I know they aren't involved in every seasonal plot now, but they do appear and develop.

The story and writing is... well, it makes an attempt to exist. It does not succeed until The Taken King. I went in knowing what happens in the story and I'm still not actually sure what happens in the story because it is basically someone's pre-first draft bullet points of a narrative. The only reason I knew I was starting different storylines is because the mission popup tells you which storyline it is. 'I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain' is a meme for a reason, but another bit which I think illustrates the point well is from House of Wolves. Petra tells you that Skolas has entered the Vault of Glass and this is bad so you need to stop him. It is never explained before then what the Vault of Glass is, what it does, why it would be bad for Skolas to be in there, or... anything. While D2 can be obtuse, and sometimes leaves important info in easily overlooked lore tabs (or in vaulted content), it at least tries to tell you what the story is. I feel like D1 actively resents that players do not read the bullet points and fill in everything the writers had in their heads. Another example is the Devil's Lair strike. it's the first one you take on in D1, and after doing it in D2, I was expecting backstory and build up. Nope, you just get sent in with nothing to really explain what is going on, who the House of Devils are, what a Servitor is... I know it had troubled development and the story got torn apart and remade very close to launch, and it really shows in the early stuff. It's a series of missions that were made and then had to be strung together with the thinnest of threads. It gets better in Taken King, but at times is still not great. You first encounter the Taken on Phobos, I think Ghost asks about what they are. I was expecting more discussion about them and what they are and how horrifying it is. But nope, they just exist now and we're all fine with that.

So. Much. Grinding. The pinnacle grind was annoying in D2, the grind to just get your light up in D1 is so much worse. You will be doing bounties desperately to try to get your rep up with the various groups just so you can actually get fragments of story and quests. You will be grinding just to level up your subclass and it takes ages.

The places you visit are very expansive - even the Cosmodrome is significantly larger - which is great when they're used well, but a lot of the time they feel very empty, there to make you play for longer to get between areas than because there is anything to do.

The Good

The game is gorgeous! I'm loving getting to see Venus and Mars and the Dreadnaught. They're beautiful environments. Everything feels very expansive which can be very cool (as above, it can also be less good). When used well, it feels like there are so many mysteries and secrets hidden in this abandoned world. There are hidden bunkers and spaces, huge Vex structures and ruined cities, tunnels burrowed beneath the Cosmodrome and the Taken King's dreadnaught. It's genuinely fun to explore (up to a point).

It does an excellent job of making you genuinely feel like it's post-apocalyptic and the existence of humanity is precarious. And you, the Guardian, are brand new and everything is trying to kill you. You don't have multiple gods stored in your vault in the form of guns! Everything feels more dangerous. For example, I think if D2 is your intro, you look back at the Great Disaster and the first Crota fireteam and go 'but how did that happen when I go onto the moon and take out ogres with a single punch? The biggest threat in the Abyss in Crota's End is falling into a pit or getting hit by a pendulum! Yeah no I get it now. In D1 you are much less powerful and it makes swarming thralls and normal enemies much more of a threat. Things feel dangerous in a way that D2 rarely manages. I'll talk about this a bit more in depth later.

By making your supers and abilities less powerful, they have weirdly made them more useful. In D2 I usually save mine for bosses since it feels like a waste to use them on normal enemies. In D1, it makes absolute sense to use your abilities basically as soon as you have them. You should absolutely use your Golden Gun on a normal Hive Knight or Fallen Vandal!

There's some great atmospheric touches. I love hearing the snippets of distorted music when I'm near a Rasputin bunker. Going into some of the ruined buildings on Mars or Venus where it's dark and suddenly seeing so many red Vex eyes staring back at you is chilling.

The opening mission of Taken King is fantastic. Genuinely creepy and the Taken in general in D1 feel much scarier and threatening than in D2.

All the different enemy factions are different colours and designs! I love that!

Weapons still go brrrrr in a very pleasing way. And getting new gear feels genuinely satisfying in a way that it rarely does in D2. I junk 99% of the armour and guns I get in D2, in D1 I end up being much more considering of whether something is useful. Legendary weapons and armour feel precious!

I keep picking up random Warmind weapons to turn into Banshee that I know lead to an exotic quest and I am enjoying the feeling of that being another Secret Thing I am discovering.

Honestly, I really like Banshee's weapon bounties - you get given a prototype weapon to test out and gather data by doing certain things (killing X number of a certain enemy etc.) and that gains you rep. And you can then order a legendary version of the weapon from him to be delivered the next Wednesday.

Thoughts/Observations

Knowing that the 'original' story was seemingly going to focus more on Rasputin, and an exo version of him getting stolen by the Hive makes the appearance of some of the Hive areas on the Moon make more sense. There's some bits that are high tech in a way that feels very at-odds with what we see of the Dreadnaught and, other Hive locations which lean much more towards the organic and magical.

Similarly, Rise of Iron feels a lot more hard sci-fi than much of what Destiny has become, and has such a huge Rasputin focus. I believe it was partially developed by an outside studio, so I do wonder if it was based, at least in part, on the 'original' story of Destiny, and was either too far into development, or the other studio just never got the memo about the change in tone.

Vaguely related to the above, but way more speculative, I wonder if Banshee was originally meant to be a Rasputin exo, then that story got shifted to Felwinter, but the seeds were used for the story of Banshee having been Clovis Bray.

Honestly while it's fun to think about, in general I find the obsession parts of the Destiny community have with 'the original story' (of the 'maybe they're finally going back to the original story!' type where the unspoken idea is that this was the perfect undiluted pure story that was 100% planned and set in stone) to be fundamentally misunderstanding how creating stories work. I can guarantee that even if that first story had been used, after 10 years of multiple writers etc. it would still be in a very different place than where the people who came up with it initially thought it would go. It would have evolved and changed and shifted, even if it was following the same vague plan. That's just what stories do.

Oh wow, suddenly all the Nightmare Hunts in Shadowkeep make way more sense! I get it now!

Actually I get a lot of references now XD

Oh wow Shaxx sounds so depressed. I guess this was before he started therapy.

So many identical caves...

Thoughts on Power Creep

D1 leans much more into the post-apocalyptic setting and it does an excellent job of making the existence of the Last City, humanity, and Guardians feel precarious. Everything seems more dangerous, more of a threat. You really are part of the last bastion of humanity. And there's a few ways this is done.

First, you are much less powerful. Yes, you have supers and grenades, but they do much less damage (and are much less flashy) than in D1. There has been a huge amount of power creep! You won't be one-shotting bosses, even normal Vanguard Strike bosses with golden gun easily.

Legendary weapons feel rare and special, and I am still using Blue weapons at times because sometimes I have to just to get the higher light level. I have reached level 40 and have only just got my first exotic armour pieces which I bought from Xur! They are FR0ST-EE5, an exotic I have never bothered with in D2, but in D1 the recharge for abilities when sprinting is genuinely handy. I don't have any exotic weapons at all yet!

It leads to a very different playstyle - I play much more carefully because I cannot just charge in with something like Osteo Striga and wipe out a room with a few shots. In D2 we have killed multiple gods, taken down an Empire, and forged alliances. In D1, we're just some random Guardian and the gameplay reflects this.

And I hate to say this, but I also kind of get the YouTube/Stream BNFs who complain about things not being hard enough. It's just... they're completely wrong about the reasons and the solutions.

They seem to think that what is needed is more enemies with higher health, and nerf Divinity because it makes it too easy, and everything should be designed to stop normal players being able to do it. And it... it doesn't work? Ghosts of the Deep was fun, but holy fuck the health bars on the enemies make it feel grindy and dragged out. Legend Avalon was a slog because there's Too Much - too many elements at the same time so it's just overwhelming instead of fun. (Starcrossed on legend is tough, but feels more enjoyable and managable. I'm looking forward to doing it again instead of dreading it).

More difficulty isn't what makes D1 feel harder, being weaker is what does this. I have no doubt that if I could put my D2 stuff against D1 enemies I would decimate them. But in D1 I am a lone Guardian with scavenged gear and yes, I have the Light and can be resurrected, and it gives me an edge vs normal humans, but not a crazy amount.

In D2 I have so many exotics and weapons that I can just throw them away. I can have intricately crafted builds to take on any enemies! I am basically one of the most powerful entities in the solar system.

And that's not something you can really scale back. They did it with Red War at the start of D2. Maybe they could do it as a result of Final Shape and do smaller stories focused on Earth and recovery and what you even do after your purpose for fighting for so long is gone (and I think there is value in those stories! I would love it personally). But uh... I don't think most people would actually be happy having everything nerfed on such a scale. Give up your 999,999 Celestial Nighthawk boss damage, for a Golden Gun that with a bit of luck might one-shot a yellowbar?

Give up a lot of creativity in terms of what you use and how you play, in exchange for a tougher game with way less choice for builds, but one that is potentially more atmospheric and in-keeping with the post-apocalypse and the dangers of the solar system?

I don't have an answer for that! And it's not even the most important thing. Gamer BNFs gonna always want to prove that they're better than everyone at pressing buttons, and forget that the majority of players are casuals. But it's been interesting playing a different type of difficulty, rather than the forced difficulty of insanely high HP and Too Many Things.

Power creep is a real issue in a lot of long-running media (just look at superhero movies, or many many monster of the week TV shows). You're in a position of feeling like you need to one-up yourself every time. Every new villain has to be the biggest and baddest, and so you have to become more and more powerful to combat that, which means the next villain has to be even bigger and badder.

With Destiny we've gone from a scrappy underdog, to a god-killer.

I'm reminded of Osiris talking about Saint in The Sundial lore.

'I watched him grow from neophyte to demi-god'.

King of fitting for us to have done the same as Saint's inspiration.

[letomills]

The "requests are paused until I'm done with the current ones" thing was wishful thinking (a bit like the closing statements in my last yt video 🤓) and I am once again thoroughly overwhelmed with everything.

Requests are firmly closed until further notice. I said yes to the FtM hairs for anon and the Tiggerypum tunics & iamliz13 alpha dresses for children & toddlers for the other anon (I did get the links you sent to the meshes), so I still intend to complete both.

A novel's worth of life updates under the cut (content warning for struggle with bipolar type 2, including questionable choices which should not be taken as advice).

Well over a year ago I shared that my mother was going through a really bad bipolar type 2 depression episode (looking back, mention of it in that post was very euphemistic, I must have been hopeful). The reason why I didn't give any updates after a while is that there is no satisfactory narrative that I could easily spin into words. She's not all better, she hasn't died or lost her mind for good, things have just been evolving at a snail's pace through a whole spectrum of very bleak colors. She's not fully hospitalized anymore, she lives at home with my brother and me, with day hospitalisation activities several times a week. The myriad psychiatrists that she's seen have not been able to find the "right" treatment for her, but hey, after lithium sent her into such a state of confusion that we thought she might stay mentally disabled for the rest of her life, at least now we know that's not an option. A couple days ago her psychiatrist prescribed a new antipsychotic to replace the one she'd been taking. She started the transition, and today confusion started showing its terrifying face again so she's not taking that pill tonight, or to be honest ever again unless her psychiatrist somehow manages to convince us otherwise (she'll report her symptoms and get counsel at the hospital tomorrow). Her cognition is already impaired, her short-term memory and ability to focus especially. She can't live alone, I keep and manage her pillboxes, make sure she's eating right and the stove is off, that sort of stuff. But at least, until the introduction of this new drug, she'd made considerable gains compared to when she was at her worst last winter. No way we're going back to that again.

On a more positive note, about a month and a half ago I started work at a grocery delivery place just up the street (yes that's what I'm doing with my degree in Mandarin and my master's in English-French translation studies). It's intense physically, kinda stressful, and not very well paid, but I think I like it and the people are very nice. What scares me is that my trial period ends in about 2 weeks and I'm not entirely sure that they'll want to keep me, considering I've made several mistakes and they don't seem to think that I work quite fast enough (I know I said the people were very nice, they are, that's just the job). They keep saying the work load is gonna get crazier starting in September. The way they're saying it may suggest that they do envision me as still working there in September, but maybe they're trying to push me to work faster now and if I can't prove that I'm able to they won't keep me? Well I'm already doing my best, even if sometimes I end up finding myself crying over clients' items because my brain isn't able to focus anymore and I'm messing up and wasting time.

Emotional control has been harder because I unilaterally made the decision to taper off my antidepressant. Now before you facepalm, let me flood you with all of my best questionable arguments: • I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist, the earliest date I could get was October 1st (and I may have to postpone, depending on my work hours that day which I don't know yet). • I was already on the lowest dose that you can be on. • I tapered off very slowly. • I recently talked about it with the nurse that I saw for the mandatory medical visit I had to go to because I got the new job (idk if you have that outside of France). Naturally she was alarmed that I'd been weaning myself off on my own and she convinced me to see my GP asap and not change my medication without at least his input (which yes, I know). • the reasons I did it despite knowing that it's inadvisable are: 1) obviously I haven't been feeling depressed for a while or I wouldn't have done it, 2) the amount of endorphin-producing physical exercise I get from the new job felt like it could maybe do the trick so it was worth a try, 3) seeing how much my mom's medication has messed up her cognition over the years is scary. She's been taking way higher doses of antidepressants than me, along with other stuff, over a way longer period of time, but still. I don't want to be on it if it's not strictly necessary, so I wanted to try off. • I'm still taking my antipsychotic religiously and have no intention to stop that (I can't anyway or I won't be able to sleep and I'll definitely lose the job).

My plan with the antidepressant was to space out the doses and eventually get off it entirely for several weeks before reassessing, but after seeing that nurse, I started upping again to one dose every other day. I will admit, I was having suicidal thoughts after several days off, and now it's gone. Maybe I should find having suicidal thoughts more alarming than I do, the nurse's phrasing when she asked if I did - something that could translate to "no suicidals thoughts, riiight?" - was a good reminder that suicidal thoughts are really bad to have oh no. Of course I said no, why would I want her to interfere (leave me to make decisions for my own self thank you). Anyway, the appointment with my GP is in two days. He's gonna be useless on psych stuff but I guess getting his unqualified, predictable input is the responsible thing to do in polite society. More relevantly, the nurse also told me to go see him because my blood pressure is a bit low, or at least it was at 9/6 when she saw me, so I need to have it retaken and see what's up with that if anything.

And so yes, I have a ton of CC plans as always, I am positively drowning. Beside the two requests I mentioned above the cut, one of which I need to do a lot of learning for, I picked up work on Celestialspritz's beta Vincent skins and started converting afbodykimono for the usual roaster of breasted body shapes, like I did with afbodyqipao here and would like to do with more Happy Holiday Stuff outfits in the future. Although I told myself that I would stick to the body shapes that I've already done stuff for, I now also want to make a set of clothes for Lady Apple. I also have an idea about a set of scrawny body shapes for TU-EU inspired by Mrs Crumplebottom's body shape. I know Melodie9's slim family exists but to be honest those shapes creep me out and I want to see if I can do something less uncanny (it may end up looking too similar to the Androgyny body shapes, or to Faerie Gal, or it may not pan out at all, so don't hold your breath). I also want to do a ton of hairs in FakeBlood's palette + Naberius (tbh I'm still not 100% sure if I like Timebomb or Naberius more for my aliens, I need to figure that out once and for all). And of course I want to do more FtM & MtF hair conversions once I know how to do it well enough. There's a billion smaller projects I'd like to insert in between those, outfit conversions for one or a couple body shapes, repurposing of older meshes, a set of nude "outfits" for all the body shapes I do, etc.

[finalgirleddiemunson]

Don’t Mention It (Steve Harrington x Reader)

summary: some mornings are bad mornings, and they’re filled with memories. Steve and you work through them together. (wc 1.3k)

warnings: angst, past trauma mentions, non-sexual nudity

a/n: had a moment where i thought about how how everything that steve has gone through often gets played for laughs and got so upset i wrote this. it kinda reads more loose than a typical narrative structure, my b

masterlist

----

Steve showers in the morning. 

In high school, he used to shower at night. To wash the pool chlorine and layers of the day off of his skin. 

But then things went bump in the night too often, too frequently. You and him both know now that the darkness can hide something more than bad dreams or phantasmal shapes. 

Sometimes it’s difficult to fall asleep tucked into bed safe and sound. Much less be vulnerable and relaxed underneath the shower- where the stream of water hitting against the tile blocks the noise of something that could be creeping nearby.

So, yes. Steve showers in the morning now. You don’t mention it. 

Just like he doesn’t mention how you check the doors and windows twice every night, flipping locks back and forth that you know were already secured but you just had to be sure. One last time. 

He leans on the doorway to the kitchen of your shared apartment and watches you go through your routine every night though. He’s gotten used to reassuring you beneath the covers that Yes, baby, you locked the windows. I watched you do it, I promise. You can go to sleep. 

Just like he doesn’t mention how you keep his old bat placed under the bed, in the same way that old lovers place dried roses or sleeping satchels filled with herbs beneath pillows. An extra omen that helps you both sleep. 

It’s the sound of the water running that wakes you, as it does most mornings. 

The bathroom door is open, letting the steam from the shower spill out and into the bedroom, carrying with it that clean and cologne-like smell of Steve’s body wash. 

As you wake, scrubbing sleep from your eyes and wetting dry lips, you come into awareness slowly. There’s a distinct lack of humming coming from the bathroom this morning. 

Another thing you don’t mention- the sign of a storm that only you know how to navigate. 

On the good days, Steve sings. When you first got together, you imagined that Steve would sing off-tune and loudly, a joke played for laughs. Your years together have found you pleasantly wrong in that assumption. In the confines of your shared bathroom, Steve sings like he was always meant to do it- perfect pitch and everything. It only makes you slightly envious at times.

But, most of the time he hums. Little tunes, songs he’s heard on the radio, whatever is stuck in his head. He scrubs shampoo from his hair and hums the song that was playing over his car radio when he asked you to be his girlfriend, or the song you danced to in the kitchen last night, or some new rock song that Dustin showed him that Steve swears he hates. The point of the matter is, most of the time Steve hums. 

On the bad days, there’s silence. Music does not drift out with the steam from the shower, only quiet. 

The lack of music today fills your lungs, viscous and hefty in its meaning. 

You pad to the bathroom and make your steps purposefully heavy. I’m here, it’s just me. You make sure the hinges squeak as you push the door open unnecessarily wider. Don’t worry, don’t be scared. I’m not sneaking up on you, nothing is here. 

You run the water in the sink, brush your teeth and make a big show of it even though the curtain on the shower is still closed. You do this on the bad days. Hedge in closer, palms open, slow and steady. 

When you’ve drawn out your morning routine as long as you can is when you finally speak. “Good morning, honey.”

It takes a moment, but the quiet croak of Steve’s voice rings out above the running water, “Morning, sweetheart.”

You wait, give him the opportunity to say anything else before you take your next step. “Do you mind if I join you?” You keep your tone light, as though the idea just occurred to you. As though this isn’t, in itself, a part of the routine that both of you play. 

“Please,” Steve responds and the cracked relief in his voice spurs you into action. 

You don’t bother to gather your shed clothes and place them out of the way. You just pull them off and drop them onto the tile as quickly as you’re able. 

When you step into the temporary sauna that Steve has made with the scalding water, you’re met with the sight of his back. The tan expanse of skin, dotted with freckles and moles that you’ve traced over a thousand times, now with water cascading down the muscles. 

Your first touch is just your fingertips along his arm. I’m here, I’m here, I’m here. 

And when his shoulders crumple in on themselves just a little at the touch, you’re quick to curl your hand around his bicep, turning him in place to face you. 

You tuck yourself into the space beneath his chin, let his wet hair rain droplets down onto the top of your head and your shoulders. His body shields you from the brunt of the shower, but you hope that between you and the heat of the water he can find something to ground him. You splay your hands wide against his back as you hug him closer. Come back to me. 

You don’t mention it when he shudders above you, takes in rasping breaths as he presses his face into the top of your head. You just let him cry, swaying gently on your feet to rock him. 

You don’t mention it when the water begins to run colder and colder- until the tears give way to chattering teeth and you take his hands to lead him out of the shower. You set him down and wrap a towel around his body. 

You don’t mention that daylight is streaming in through the windows of your bedroom, that the darkness can’t reach you two here with blue skies and sunshine at your door. You both know that would be a lie anyways. 

All you can do is hold him. You give him soft clothes, loungewear that he wears around the house, and he dresses himself in mechanical movements. You do your best to keep touching him throughout it all.

“It helps,” He had whispered to you one night when sleep evaded your household. “When I’m like that. Just knowing you’re there. It helps.”

You had kissed his collarbone, an acknowledgment of his bravery. “I wish it didn’t get like that,” he murmured into the darkness. 

“I know. But I’ll always be here, when it does. And I know that you’ll be there for me, when I get like that. ” 

He had rubbed a hand up and down your spine at your words, his own acknowledgement. Neither of you slept much that night. 

Now, even with the cheery, morning light coming through the curtains, you both crawl back beneath the covers. You plaster yourself against Steve, the length of your body fitted against his. You keep a hand against his chest, feel the steady thump of his heartbeat under your palm. 

Hear this thing? You want to scream to the sky, to the Upside Down, to every last thing that made him scared of the dark. It means that Steve Harrington is alive, despite it all. And you can’t take him from me. 

Instead you just hold him. 

Steve returns to his body slowly, pieces clicking into place until at last the grip he has around you tightens with awareness. His muscles uncoil, a recognition of his safety. 

“I love you,” He says.

“I love you more.”

You don’t mention that you already know his response-

“Not possible.”

[revenantghost]

When Tristamp was coming out, there were two (2) scenes in particular that people got upset about for mainly shipping reasons, but, honestly? After having seen the whole thing and having thought about it for awhile, I think both are perfect for this iteration of Trigun and the narrative foils that Wolfwood and Meryl play against Vash. In no particular order:

Meryl Awakening Vash

I’ve already gone off about how closely Meryl and Rem are tied together, so I won’t retread old ground, but it’s so, so, so pivotal that Meryl believes in Vash unlike anyone has since Rem. And not in a motherly sort of way, either. (I think Rem would have a heart attack with the trouble these two get into lol.) That was important for Vash in its time, but now? Now Meryl is everything that Vash is fighting for in humanity. She sees the good in him, sees something worth fighting for, sees something worth loving. And the love in Trigun is just so integral to everything and everyone. It defies explanation sometimes, and that’s really beautiful to me.

As absolutely hilarious as it would have been for Wolfwood to have come in gun (singular in this iteration lmao) blazing to help Meryl break Vash out, he’s not at that point yet. It wouldn’t have made narrative sense, it would’ve broken the scene. It’s Meryl who has that hopeless, senseless faith in Vash, in the good that humanity could be. She still believes in justice, even after having gone through hell since meeting Vash. She’s seen ugly, undesirable parts of him that no one’s seen in years and she chooses to stay. She is the faith in humanity and the love for Vash that Rem had. She’s the reminder of what he’s still fighting for.

The Scar Reveal

As you can tell from above, I love Meryl in this story, and I honestly think we’ll probably see hers and Milly’s reaction to Vash’s scars at a later date. But for this first reveal to us, and especially for Tristamp in particular, it makes perfect sense for Wolfwood to see these scars and still, somehow, be horrified. This man has been tortured in ways unimaginable since he was a child. He’s had to turn off his humanity for years. He’s been broken and battered by monstrocities we can’t imagine. And yet he’s still horrified.

He probably wouldn’t have been at the start of the season. (See: Eriks barking like a dog very early in their relationship in the other versions, at VERY different emotional points.) So for Wolfwood to have been changed enough by Vash and for him to care enough about Vash to be horrified for him, to want better out of humanity for him? Despite the fact that he’s about to toss him to his ruthless brother because he can’t afford to care for Vash and the orphanage? It was really critical in setting up his own decision for episode twelve, coming back for Meryl and choosing Vash over Knives in his own way. Wolfwood’s been crumbling for awhile, but this is such a huge crack.

TL;DR: It’s about love and faith in humanity and justice, and so much more. I’m so happy that we got to see these characters shine in different ways, and in significant ways that we haven’t seen before. And don’t get me wrong! There are valid criticisms about many parts of Tristamp, but I ain’t having none for shipping wank lol

[chubs-deuce]

Reading the part of why some people like Chaggie is that sometimes people prefer ships that's all fluff and no drama, it's like yeah, that's perfectly fine! I'm not one to judge!

But at the same time it also comes across as a bit... unrealistic? If you get what I'm trying to say?

The thing about relationships is that... not everything is going to be perfect and happy. Sometimes conflicts happen, sometimes couples get into fights. And it's by getting through these fights that their love can survive and shows how they won't let small things come between them.

But in Chaggie's case, the conflict it DID have... didn't even have the main couple talk through this. As much as I love Rosie, I feel her talk with Charlie robbed the chance to hear Vaggie explain why she never thought to tell her sooner or what she felt would've happened if the truth came out.

So again, I don't feel right supporting a ship that has this many holes and things that the show just sweeps under the rug.

Hmmm I can agree with a lot of points here tbh! Not all, but most of them at least!

Like how the amount with which any and all conflict between them just kind of resolves itself magically without any real, productive conversations taking place makes it fall really flat - I've outlined in a previous post (which you should be familiar with already, seeing as you prompted that one too lol) how I'd try to go about fixing that specific issue within the narrative...

... but I still think it's a perfectly valid ship to ship (most ships are actually) and I feel like "not supporting" is kind of an odd word choice? You can certainly dislike a ship and choose not to engage with it out of personal taste preferences, but using the word "support" makes it sound a bit like you're looking at shipping like it's a sports competition or like it's a matter of morality skdjhsdkjf

Shipping has never been and will never be a contest (no matter how much modern fandom culture is sometimes desperately trying to make it so) and imo chaggie actually even deserve some slack for how much it got botched by canon imho. It's such a harmless, wholesome ship whose only glaring flaw is that the writing made them bland and threw out any crumb of opportunity to change that.

I commend the fans that are trying to salvage what they can from the mess the show made of them and my lack of emotional investment in them is 100% a grievance aimed at how the writing executed them, not the pairing in concept or its fanbase at large.

[mobblespsycho100]

👍psychoanalyze ur kabru playlist now boy

yes I shall #1 boykisser... 🫡

ask game thing

anyway formatting the last post was kinda hell for me. which is why I'll do the same exact formatting for this one...

(rambling all over the place is commencing)

1. Valley of The Dolls by MARINA

baby. where do i freaking begin.

"In the valley of the dolls, we sleep" -> his adoptive mother, Milsiril, is a big fan of collecting dolls. Like, plushies of everything. She animates them to fight, but they're also there to soothe her. She also adopts a lot of children from short-lived races who don't have a family and she got allegations that she treats them all like her dolls lmao... I mean she kind of does in the sense that they're all precious to her. She does respect their autonomy but uhhh still living with such a doting and overbearing/overprotective mother makes u wanna break outta the dollhouse the cage . be free . hashtag transgenderism also gosh im getting off topic . anyway i bet Kabru slept with a lotta those dolls. in his comfy bed . that he left behind because hes not abt that life mama he wanna see the world and save it and get killed in dungeons. boy.

"Got a hole inside of me / Living with identities / That do not belong to me" -> Grouping these lyrics together because it makes sense for my twisted narrative i mean my very real and based takes. Anyway, he's got a hole inside of him the void in his heart (in his mind) and thats why. his autism and ptsd masking swag. thats as eloquent as i can put it. theres a lot more i can say though

"In my life, I got this far" -> He survived the tragedy of Utaya his hometown . the bloodbath because of the dungeon. It has to be for a purpose ™ . It's because he has to save the world from suffering the same fate and it's his burden to bear it's his purpose it was why he survived (the survivor's guilt... goodness man. trauma processing of all time. :[ )

"Now I'm ready for the last hoorah" -> boy . letting these panels speak for itself. putting it under the cut because spoilers for the peeps seeing this maintagged and they're not caught up with manga .

yeah boy hes falling. fallen. uhm. in the pit. Ready for the last hoorah in this case like. yeah 🤣 just leaving it up to laios (Liar . kabru and mithrun dungeon adventure speedrun)

"Dying like a shooting star" -> guy keeps dying. not even like a shooting star really. well. ig hes going out in style somewhat id getting crushed by Falin's chimera dragon claw counts as shooting star style

2. Lip Sinking by The Hoosiers

We all know Sash does not play about The Hoosiers which is why I have 26 damn The Hoosiers songs on there I should get awarded tbh .

Now Lip Sinking is really good because it's another one of those scammer / masking guy anthems i keep talking about. These lyrics in Verse 5 in particular is really easy to match to Kabru's character moment™ though, so let's break it down.

"I float above my body" -> Common depersonalization experience. For trauma reasons, Kabru probably feels like this a lot sometimes but specifically in this scene...

(apologies for no alt text peeps . but this is the friendship confession scene for those in the know if it hasnt loaded in yet)

anyway, back to the show (psychoanalyzing Kabru) . I think this disconnect with his words VS his thoughts and his heart is so real. Like. seeing urself out of ur body is again a depersonalization thing, and idk if hes feeling depersonalization in this moment specifically but he was really out of it and in a sort of , scrambled and intensely anxious state. His usually calm and cool persona slash facade is Crumbling and man he hates that .

"Must be out of my mind / Cos I watch myself / Getting it wrong everytime" -> He's like. man what the hell am I saying

letting the page speak for itself again because It's like. its there i mean its in tha text what am I supposed to dissect hes dissecting himself already 🤭😭 okay. 'What am I saying' 'I can't find the words' so true man idk what the hell im saying either rn

"I can't tell you how I'm really feeling" -> because he doesn't know his own emotions. He thinks he does, he has been so good at controlling them and like being fake about what he's truly feeling in his heart, adjusting his personality for others' sake. So they trust him, believe in him, listen to him. But for Laios, how does he even say anything? Before this, the words just spilling out, he didn't even know how he felt about Laios. It sounds ridiculous even to himself and that's why he clamps his mouth afterwards but indeed it Is what he was truly feeling all along... (and then Laios thinks he's lying and hes like "NO BITCH!!!? what?!!!?! im being vulnerable and honest rn?!?" )

"Cuz I'm just lip-syncing" -> for so long that's what he's been doing. lip syncing, saying things he doesn't really mean to influence others' perception of him... but this time his mouth moved faster than his mind racing with thoughts. that he's able to convey what he truly wanted all along and finally admit to himself and his own consciousness. like. aaaahgh. man hes so special to meeee....

bonus: the outro's lyrics is rlly good aha. he can finally say what he actually feels... he can be #real.

3. Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

This one is . a lot of vibes I think.

"Are we allies or enemies? / This will be the death of me / This will be the death of me" -> He legit says this to Laios . like hes still wondering if they're allies or enemies . Technically he doesn't want them to be enemies. he's cautious but he knows Laios isn't really a bad guy but like, his mind just keeps fixating on Laios and the steps he takes to get the dungeon under control so. hes desperately trying to figure it out because goodness this guy is so. waugh

"All is fair in love and war, but I can't fight with you anymore / This will be the death of me" -> his mental conflict is sooo tasty to me. like . all is fair in love and war !!! any method is justifiable !!! means justifies the ends but also he understands that in the end he can't fully wrap his head around Laios' love of monsters but he knows that Laios will be the one to conquer the dungeon because he also loves his family. He can't fight with him anymore and he can't "kill" him anymore because somehow this man has wormed his way in. well, he never wanted him dead in the first place but I find that he often thinks about killing him to save humanity from his... well. freakishness (complimentary) (concerning sometimes) ;;; but in the end Kabru lets him go and is willing to trust and support Laios till the end ... also once again the repetitiveness of "this will be the death of me" because he's stressed as helll!!!!

"What happens now, do we have another go?" -> I think this is post-Marcille being talked down out of being dungeon lord . Kabru's probably like ok so now what. well. Laios goes its my turn with the dungeon lording 😭😭 (and shit goes down) (but its okay he got it covered)

"Do we bow out and take our seperate roads?" -> Now this is probably when they're (the whole gang) is like "WHERE'S LAIOS DID HE DIE?" no he lives guys its fine. and namari toshiro and kabru run at him in relief. wauh. and also ofc the whole people coming together to eat faligon meat and save Falin ... yippeee... so yeah they don't go seperate roads because Kabru is like yeah imma be Laios' pr manager . #royaladvisor . sticking with him fr fr

"I'll admit I had my doubts / But I want to be let in, not out / But I want to be let in, not out" -> again the repetition ... of him wanting to help. I've mostly been talking abt how this entire song is Kabru's conflicted thoughts @ Laios but this can also be Kabru lending a helping hand to Mithrun at the end of everything. Because he's the one to like help Mithrun realize that there is a purpose to living and like . new desires and ppl who care abt him... but also yeah Kabru "i want to be let in, not out" because he wants to help out Laios with running the new kingdom instead of being in the background again and being ignored ahhaa he wants to be friends for real (and maybe even . lovers. lets go gay people)

ANYWAYYY YEAH THATS THE END WOOOOO idk how to close this out. happy belated birthday kabru and ty juno for sending this in ajshjdhsb :33 ♡

[blueskittlesart]

feelings on the ‘link who went into the shrine of resurrection isnt the same one who came out’ theory/hc? apologies if this has already been clarified

sigh. this theory occupies the exact same niche in my mind as the "link is dead in mm" theory tbh (by which i mean its the bane of my fucking existence.) Technically, i believe it is possible within the preestablished lore of the franchise. However, I think the only way you come to a conclusion like this is by deliberately ignoring a lot of the writing of the game.

in my opinion, loz as a franchise is at its best when it functions as a thematic narrative. my favorite games in the series all function as narratives on two levels--the first is the obvious one, the hero's journey story that the player actually physically plays through. the second level is the one that really hooks ME on these games though, and that's the thematic level. oot, for example, is essentially a story about a young boy going on a journey to save his kingdom. But on a thematic level, it's about the relationships between adults and children and the trauma of growing up. breath of the wild functions similarly. essentially it is a story about a boy waking up with no memories and saving a princess from a monster. but on a thematic level, botw is a commentary on trauma and growth and healing.

the gist of the theory you're talking about is that the original pre-calamity link was unable to be resurrected and the shrine of resurrection just made a new one in his place, and that's why he has no memories. depending on how deep into the theory you go, some suggest that everyone the original link knew pre-calamity is in on this conspiracy and are deliberately gaslighting the new link into believing he is the same person as the original. to be entirely honest, i think it technically works on a purely literal level. COULD the shrine of resurrection have probably made a new link? yes. COULD zelda and everyone else be conspiring to convince link he's a real boy? sure. technically yes. there's not REALLY anything wrong with this from an in-universe standpoint. it's all technically possible. but imo the only way to come to this conclusion is to ignore the fact that botw functions on a secondary level as a metaphor.

I think there's a tendency among a certain type of superfan to forget that media is created by PEOPLE, and that writing decisions are made deliberately. especially in a game as vast and immersive as botw, it's admittedly easy to forget sometimes that the world and the narrative were crafted by human beings and therefore narrative and worldbuilding decisions were made for a reason. but if you take a step back and analyze it from a writer's perspective, botw's thematic narrative is almost richer than its face-value story. it's built into the characters, the world, the lore, EVERYTHING in the game is structured around its central themes. this is part of what i believe makes botw such a successful and relatable game. Its central message, that it's never too late for growth, that healing is possible, that just because things are broken doesn't mean they can't be fixed, is woven so beautifully into the very bones of the game. There's a REASON that link wakes up with no memories, and it's not because he's a victim of a kingdom-wide conspiracy about his own death. it's because he is meant to seem broken beyond repair. he wakes up on the near-abandoned great plateau--DELIBERATELY abandoned, because the player is meant to view the world as broken beyond repair at this point in the story, with no memories, no heart containers, no stamina. A shell of the warrior he once was. and the rest of the game is dedicated to the discovery that he can heal. he can find his memories, he can grow stronger, he can form new relationships and he can do better. hope was not lost when he fled hyrule castle 100 years ago. hope is never lost so long as there are people who are willing to keep trying to rebuild. hyrule is not a dead, abandoned kingdom as it first seems when you awake. Hyrule is ALIVE. there are cities and stables and merchants and travelers and people living and dying and continuing on every single day.

to suggest that link didn't actually survive requires you to, at best, deliberately ignore all of that thematic setup, and at worst, retcon it out of existence. if link isn't really link, if the whole world is conspiring against him, then that means that the original link really was doomed. that he can never heal from what happened to him. that he was exactly what he believed himself to be--a failure who doomed hyrule to a century of suffering. it removes link's agency and his impact as the main character of this story--if he was never hurt in the first place, he has nothing to heal from. there's no message there, nothing to be learned. he's just going through the motions of the story because he's been told to--arguably falling into the exact same trap that the original did.

again, is the theory technically plausible? yes. in-universe, the groundwork exists for it to have happened. but if you refuse to look at a narrative outside of its own governing universe, it's easy to forget that people tell stories for a reason. botw is written the way it is because its writers had something to say. Why does link lose all his memories after the shrine? In-universe, this is a mystery, yes. to someone who is only willing to examine that plot point within the confines of that universe, yeah, it seems like a plot hole, and yeah, this theory might explain it. but from a writer's perspective, it's not a plot hole at all. it's a clear, deliberate writing decision. just because a story asks you to suspend your disbelief a little bit for the sake of the greater narrative doesn't mean that the writers are actually secretly plotting a conspiracy and link isn't really link. it means you're being asked to either willingly suspend your disbelief, or examine why you're being asked to do so from a writing standpoint.