#i can kill myself without hurting anybody

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Waywren Truesong behind the cut, who asked for either Timkon or Timberkon and interdimensional shenanigans and is getting “weird amnesia Timberkon”.  (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Yeah, Bernard very much needs to actually do something here, if he’s legitimately the only person that Superboy’s found who even remembers he goddamn exists. But he also doesn’t exactly have the kind of connections that Tim would, or that Superboy should, so like . . . trying to convince the guy to take the credit card and trying to convince him to eat are still the only things that are coming to mind so far. 

“Super-speed, right? So if you need somewhere to crash between, uh . . . whatever you’re looking into right now or whatever, you can hit me up whenever,” he tries, because he has no damn idea what else to offer. Like–his couch is not exactly a big offer, but at least he could make sure Superboy actually eats that way. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Superboy says into his hands, his voice still all choked-up in a way that physically hurts to hear. “I–I couldn’t find anybody I’d usually ask, except for the ones who–who the fuck could I even ask? What am I even supposed to say, ‘hey, I realize this is gonna sound insane and also don’t worry about whose DNA I have in me or whatever, but like, can you do me a solid and fix reality for me?’ Who the fuck even would I ask?” 

“I honestly have no idea whose weight class that would even be,” Bernard admits with a grimace. “Justice League, I guess? Like, probably the Justice League, right? Maybe the Titans, I guess, they’ve got Raven over there, she might be able to do something.” 

“I tried to talk to Raven,” Superboy says. “I don’t think she could see me.” 

“What?” Bernard startles a little, then stares at him. Superboy drops his head lower and digs his fingers into his scalp. 

“I tried to talk to Raven,” he repeats roughly. “Took me two fuckin’ weeks to even find her, but I tried. She didn’t even, like, look at me. Her heart rate didn’t change, her eyes didn’t even refocus–she like, literally did not even know I was there. So you know, that was fucking terrifying or whatever. I don’t even know if it was because of the reality fuckup or if I’m actually just, like, some fake fucking thing and she could see right through me and maybe I'm not even real, maybe I’m literally just some bullshit trick or trap or stupid fucking–” 

“One time I heard you disassembled every gun in LA at once,” Bernard cuts in quick, and Superboy drops his arms to the table and drops his face into them with a sob so hard that it makes Bernard’s throat hurt. “You used to run with this group called the Ravers, and you started up Young Justice with Robin and Impulse. You guys had a bike you called the Super-Cycle, I dunno if you won the coin flip there or what, kinda just always assumed?” 

“That was just its name,” Superboy says, and then lets out a sobbed, cracked laugh. “Imp was so fucking annoyed. It liked him and Rob better anyway, though. And then Slobo.” 

“Was that the guy who looked like a mini-me version of that Lobo dude and desperately needed to eat his Wheaties?” Bernard asks, frowning briefly to himself, and Superboy laughs again, or sobs again, and Bernard is uncomfortably aware of just how much he can not tell the difference. 

“He was sick,” Superboy croaks. “Genetically–like, flawed, or whatever. Degrading. S’why he looked like that. Stopped, like–developing or whatever. Otherwise he’d have been Lobo. Like–if he’d survived all the other ones trying to kill him, anyway, it was–he was just sick. I don’t think he even existed here, though. Didn’t find anything about him when I looked. Not sure if Empress or Secret exist here either, but like, maybe Secret’s just still in some shitty DEO lab or something or on Apokolips or–I don’t know. Nobody remembers me and I can’t even find half of them and even Superman–I don’t know what I’m doing, man. I don’t know how to explain myself without sounding like a fucking supervillain plot or what the fuck ever and I don’t know how to make anybody even believe me and if they–if they don’t believe me–I don’t know what I’m gonna do, if I try to explain and they just don’t believe me.” 

“Oh,” Bernard says, feeling that nauseous knotting sensation in his stomach get a whole lot worse. That . . . does not sound like the way a mentally-healthy person would be talking right now, no. Like not even a little bit does it sound like the way a mentally-healthy person would be talking right now. 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Superboy chokes again, fisting a hand in his hair so tight his knuckles whiten. It’s pretty much the only thing in the entire shop he could grip that tight, Bernard’s gonna bet, because if Superboy is gripping something tight enough to make his knuckles white . . . 

“You’re gonna take my credit card and go get some lunch or at least a friggin’ snack or something,” Bernard replies as matter-of-factly as he can while he feels this friggin’ useless, digging his wallet back out to rifle through it for a spare receipt or piece of scrap paper or something. He never cleans the thing out enough anyway, there’s gotta be something he can use somewhere in the mess of old rewards cards and punch cards and ticket stubs and whatever. Though actually the ticket stubs’d probably work if he can find one with enough empty space on it, so like–fucking there they go, he thinks as he turns up a folded-up index card that he’d scribbled a grocery list on a couple weeks ago. He fishes it out and shakes it open, then digs through his pockets ‘til he finds a pen and scribbles his address and his apartment building’s door code down on the back of it as he just as matter-of-factly continues: “And then you’re gonna crash at my place, at least for tonight. I’ve got class ‘til six but I’m assuming the TTK can handle a basic civvie-level lock if I’m not back by the time you get there, so just let yourself in if you gotta.” 

“I seriously don’t get you, man,” Superboy says helplessly, his head still down and fist just as white-knuckle tight in his hair. “I just–why do you even give a fuck where I’m sleeping, much less if I’m fucking eating enough?” 

“I mean, this is maybe unfair of me to say or whatever, but I think Tim would literally never forgive me if I did not,” Bernard says, because he not only thinks that, he just straight-up knows it. “Like, if he were currently operating with all the relevant information, obviously. Also probably Wonder Girl and Impulse would hold grudges, and I am not brave enough to risk incurring the wrath of a chick who rolls with literal Amazons or a guy who could dump me in the Alaskan wilderness on a whim without even needing to block out a full minute of his day to find the time to do it.” 

“They literally do not even remember I exist,” Superboy says helplessly into the table. 

“I really feel like you’re underselling how objectively insane you guys all are when you’re rolling together,” Bernard replies frankly, then peels the index card back up off the table and sticks it in the rolled-up cuff of one of Superboy’s sleeves, due to a lack of pocket-reachability at the moment. Whatever, TTK; it’s not like Superboy’s gonna drop it or whatever. “Because you were all clearly objectively insane, so like–congrats on surviving to adulthood, I guess? Honestly very impressive any of you managed it, considering, much less all four.” 

“Technically I didn’t,” Superboy mutters. “And Impulse only did because of, like, weird Speed-Force aging shit.” 

“If it didn’t stick it doesn’t count,” Bernard lies, putting on a dismissive expression and waving him off. “So really you’re all killing it, far as I’m concerned.” 

Superboy sobs again, or laughs again. Bernard really, really wishes he could tell the difference either way.

[rei-ismyname]

Teen Cyclops gets hit with EMOTIONS 🫠😭🤩🥹😬🥴

AKA I get emotions too, linking and contrasting theory + my disability experience with Scott's.

Yung Cyke is loving his time away from the X-Men and the freedom it allows him to *loosen up.* Lacking context, The Champions view him as repressed and phlegmatic in the extreme. They're right, but he's not an old man - he's just a kid who went from constant trauma to a life of intense responsibility. I think Seinfeld is cringe, but I'm aware that many many people enjoyed it. Scott liking it is more a sign of his time displacement than anything else, though I do wonder if he identifies with any of the characters. Hints of Costanza, most likely. Not sure any are a great fit - what do you think? Newman?

Anyway, my point is that he is benefiting from his newly expanded social circle but The Champions are not Danger Room kids. They don't know that this IS Slim getting out of his comfort zone. A fake moustache isn't the most complicated costume, but you'd never see 'leader of the X-Men' Scott do it. He probably wouldn't even join them, assuming Chuck let them out for Halloween. Kamala and Miles want to see get inside that brain - let's see how they respond when they get their wish.

The catalyst is this jerkoff - Psycho Man. He's a long story, let's just simplify it by saying that he has a machine that fucks with people's emotions. He's using it nefariously until Scott blasts it to pieces and demands his surrender. He flees instead, but Scott has been affected by it and opens his Pandora's Box of repression.

The Champions know something is off when Scott abandons his indoor voice and starts ... acting up. When he smashed the machine some feedback hit him right in the pineal gland or hippocampus, unlocking his emotions on a primal level. Anger and adrenaline flood through him and everyone realises they're in for some X-Men shit. Well, they don't know that at all actually, but the vibe of a dam about to burst is clear and present.

Peppy would be proud.

They still let him fly the team vehicle, perhaps unwisely. Scott really enjoys the freedom of flying - 'no responsibility, no one complaining or making you feel bad.' I wonder what he's referring to with those awfully specific things. No time to worry about that because Scott leans into it and does a barrel roll, scaring TF out of everyone.

They wisely get him off the stick and Kamala brushes it off as 'goofing.' That really sets him off into a shame spiral, though I don't think they truly internalise that this bit is not exactly exaggerated. 'I'm not allowed to screw up. I can't make a single mistake ever! I can't ever let anybody down. If I do then what good am I?'

None of these people know Charles Xavier very well, but if they did they'd probably slap him. I feel like this is the moment when they connected young Slim to the guy that killed Xavier while possessed by the Phoenix. The fact that he's a nosy telepath who raised Scott exacerbates the Fridge Horror. The unhealthy mantras and the beliefs informing them had to come from somewhere, and Scott himself learning about that 'loss of control' didn't have the same shock as the rest of the O5. My reading is that he was offended and embarrassed by the idea he'd lose control - like it's a failure of character.

After seemingly getting a hold of himself and being quiet for a while, Scott openly expresses fear. The team is confused so he elaborates. He's scared of himself, scared of his eyes, scared of losing control. He's scared of killing anyone let alone his father figure. Pathologically terrified, even, and it occupies his every waking moment. He doubts their friendship while lamenting how people see him, without denying his hypervigilance and how it isolates him.

Scott wants to be social and carefree but he doesn't feel like he's allowed to. I can relate. My disability doesn't have the power to hurt people (except myself through inaction or accident) but it's isolating AF and requires hypervigilance every moment I'm awake. People, even close friends and family, don't take it seriously and that sucks. Blame and pressure exacerbate the difficulty of managing my functionality, and round and round it goes. 'What's stopping you?' is a familiar refrain, no matter how many times I explain it. It's exhausting.

Isolation is one aspect of the disability experience - it informs and intersects with exclusion, often passively. There's rarely anyone directly saying 'you can't do this thing;' it's often the way the world, society is constructed - for the able bodied. Nothing fits, or allows you to fit. I know I grieve my former degree of functionality and the things I simply can't participate in. I became disabled at 28, and I'm sure there's nuance for folks born with disabilities or that get worse over time - but I can't speak to that lived experience. No matter what though, as Scott says, 'it just takes.' His 'unable to cry' statement is one I don't recall hearing before this run, but it casts Scott's decades of emotional clodes-offness in a new light. It's a strong character beat that fits seamlessly with his established behaviour and publication history. I usually don't get so personal in my analysis but woof - this hit me HARD. The combination of resentment and hypervigilance over my body and how it is perceived is particularly close to home. So too is sharing with sympathetic friends - they get it, but they also don't.

Round two with Captain Fucko happens while Scott is still affected, and he dips the fuck out. The action is truncated by Tumblr's image limits but his love and protectiveness kicks into overdrive and manifests violently - nearly killing Psycho-Man. Kamala has to step in with the disability aid assist, though it's nice nobody judges him. After letting out all the emotions and optic blasts he has Scott is tapped and falls unconscious.

Even this act of vulnerability, putting himself in other people's hands, is fraught. I'd find that difficult without a checklist of invisible needs to consider, and that's a lot of labour to expect from someone else. Emotional AND physical. That in turn breeds guilt and resentment, as nobody can be a carer forever and negotiating any period of carer/caree relationship is incredibly challenging. The power dynamics and your needs as labor can poison the closest relationship. Nobody wants to be dependent, or even a burden, but needs are needs. Many go without.

It's a little ambiguous if Scott remembers the events of the day, but it's heavily implied he does. He's not embarrassed, per se, but The Champions didn't opt in to Scott Summers trauma dumping and giving them an out is gracious. It's his feelings and they're valid, but they were forced out of him by an attack.

I daresay the team understands what makes Scott tick a lot better, and nobody gives him shit for being uptight after this. The above panel is supplemental, but I think it fits perfectly. I believe it was an overall cathartic experience for Yung Cyke - it feels good to let out every now and then.

The flipside of never talking about it again is that it really is easier to just not engage with disability whether they're close to you or not. It's labour however you slice it and in my experience the reality of permanent disability is depressing to think about. The reality that you're not going to get better is outside context for most, fortunately. That's part of what makes it labour, work. Personally I have found it hard to not be resentful, frustrated, and jealous of having the privilege of not thinking about it. I work to not make it other people's problem, balancing that with the support that's offered.

The majority of my close friends these days are disabled themselves, and navigating that paradigm with two or more people is exponentially more difficult. Some days I don't have the energy to give and vice versa, so I definitely get it. Putting it into action is another story, but balancing needs and availability is part of any relationship. The well-meaning group conspiracy of silence in the last panel (probably) isn't realistic, but it can certainly feel like it. If you got this far, thanks for reading! This is not the post I set out to make, but sometimes it just flows out of you. I'm glad it did, as I need to apply a disability theory lens to my writing more often. The theory and the personal would ideally be further apart, but I needed to get this out. ❤️

[neerons]

Some of Licht Klein's best quotes

"I suppose being ridiculously earnest could be considered a virtue, but... you should give up on me already. I'm not going to change how I feel—or how I act—no matter what you say."

"I get it... you're radiant."

"Your ears are bright red. (...) I did it on purpose. In case it annoyed you." (—Licht trying to make Emma give up on him by annoying her)

"...Thanks for the sweets. (...) Especially these. They were good." (—Licht appreciating Emma's darioles)

"If you get lost in the crowd, who do you think has to find you?"

"...You're imagining things. (...) I'm the same as I always am." (—Licht being bashful after talking passionately about the theatre troupe)

"My body is covered in scars. You're not used to that sort of thing. I figured it'd bother you. I appreciate the thought, though."

"We're twins, Nokto and I. One of us brings good fortune, and one brings bad. (...) No matter where I go, I cause sorrow to everyone around me. It's clear which sort of fortune I bring. (...) If all I do is cause everyone sorrow... there's no point to me even being alive..."

"I'm begging you... stay away from me."

"This is for you. (...) Your hair clip broke when that cart almost ran you over, didn't it? (...) Anyway... that's why I went into town first thing, before my day started." (—Licht gifting a hair clip to Emma)

"You're going back to the palace, right? I'll walk you partway there."

"...So in other words, you want me to go to this social function with you. (...) I think... ...No."

"Give me back the woman I love." (—Licht to the obsidianite carriage driver who tried to harm Emma)

"After Mama died, Nokto spent less and less time at the palace, and... I discovered what loneliness felt like. We'd spent our lives together, every waking moment, and... it was hard to be without him. It hurt, every single day."

"Just by living, I bring sorrow to everyone around me, and even if I die, I'll still bring sorrow to everyone around me. I don't know what's best, or what's right... I don't know how to atone... I don't know anything..."

"Maybe... I've just been using that old saying... as an excuse to avoid everything. I killed my mother... I ruined Nokto's life... I put you in danger... I don't really believe that I can... make anyone happy."

"I feel kind of pathetic. (...) It's like I'm only ever showing you the worst sides of me."

"When I'm with you... it almost feels like I'm starting to find all the emotions I lost when I was a boy. Pleasure, delight, happiness... A sinner doesn't deserve to feel those things. So I gave them all up. But you always affect me. You mess with my heart. That's why I hate you."

"I wanna hug... Please?"

"Rather than losing myself and aggravating your injury, I'm going to please you even more than usual. I can satisfy you just like this. ...Or do you dislike this kind of service, my lady?"

"You should get some rest. I'll see you back to the palace. There's nothing you can do for him by being here. ...If you're that worried, I'll keep an eye on him." (—Licht reassuring Emma in Rio's route)

"You're so lovely, and so kind, and so warm, and so kind, and so lovely... Hang on..."

"And the seventh is a good-for-nothing womanizer." (—Licht describing Nokto)

"I just remembered how I used to fall asleep when you were explaining military jargon to me. (...) And you never woke me up. You're weirdly nice sometimes." (—Licht to Chevalier)

"I want to become like you. You can dazzle anybody with your strength, and you can see the path to victory in any situation. That's what I need to be, too. I'd never say that to his face, though. That's so embarrassing." (—Licht thinking about Chevalier)

"I punched a whole bunch of Tanzanitian princes. (...) I solved things with my fists." (—Licht talking about his own diplomacy tactics to Nokto)

"Nokto is the only person I can tell something like this to." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I can't believe I'm taking Nokto's advice. Something's got to be wrong with me. But I don't think he was wrong. If I can get her body to be addicted to mine, then her heart won't leave, either." (—Licht's thoughts about Emma)

"I want you to be so obsessed with me that you can't bear to be apart from me ever again." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I want you to adore me so much that you can't think straight." (—Licht's thoughts)

"Keep paying attention to me. Keep adoring me. Keep loving me." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I just don't believe in God's good faith. Besides, my only god is Emma. I believe in her over any Tanzanitian God, even the God incarnate. (...) You don't want to pay the price for manipulating my God, either." (—Licht to Azel)

"You're more normal than people think." (—Licht to Clavis)

"Keep paying attention to me. Keep adoring me. Keep loving me." (—Licht's thoughts)

"I can't help it. I just want to kiss you every time I see you."

"You were super cute."

"Duh." (—Licht's reaction to the soldiers talking about him and Emma being so in love)

"No. No carrots." (—Licht reacting to Yves saying every steak pie needs carrots and peas)

"My goal is to get better at cooking. I want to at least be able to crack an egg without dirtying the wall."

"Ngh... Stop laughing, you... demon." (—Licht to Chevalier mocking him)

"I... I hate women like you."

"I adore you... So much that words aren't enough. Please stay with me forever more."

"I want Emma to see me as a romantic interest. Not as a friend. How do I do that? (...) ...I don't know why I bothered asking you." (—Licht to Nokto)

"When I think about how you never give up, even when things go wrong, and how you're always so optimistic about the future— I'm finally realizing... I've just been running away, all this time. (...) There's nothing more pathetic than the idea of me giving up and running away while everyone else is still fighting."

"Would it be okay if I... visited you sometimes? ...No, it's cruel of me to even ask, isn't it?" (—Licht to Emma once her stay at the palace comes to an end)

"...He was right. They're really nonsensical. But there's one thing that's clear to me from reading them. ...She really did love us." (—Licht talking about his mother's letters)

"I don't know how to find happiness without you."

"...I've never seen one before. (...) To me, you were like that rainbow, even at the start. Always too beautiful, and too bright. (...) Now... this particular light is something I treasure." (—Licht seeing his first rainbow with Emma)

"Don't use Nokto as bait." (—Licht to Chevalier)

"You're so cute it's criminal."

"Feels weird to be called 'cute'. I'm an adult. And engaged."

"I kept trying to figure out how I could have you all to myself, without them interrupting us. And eventually I had an idea. (...) I realized I just had to build a place that's just for us."

"But so long as I have you, nothing's ever rough."

"That night, I had a dream. The start was the same as the dream I knew so well. A figure lay in the middle of that vivid crimson spectacle, and it should have been my mother. I felt suddenly cold and empty. All my calm vanished, and I ran to her side, but the woman lying in the pool of blood had turned into the woman I loved most. The sound that escaped my lips in that moment was strong enough to tear the whole world apart." (—Licht's thoughts)

[crusty-chronicles]

Stubborn

Synopsis: In which our two favorite demons tend to and scold Reader for being careless during a fight. Separate drabbles btw

Kurama 🦊🦊🦊

The first thought that crosses his mind is one of anger. How dare that feeble demon even think to put it's hands on you. The next is that there's blood. So much blood seeping from the wound on your side. The decision of what to do is made without hesitation. He wasted no time rushing to your side. Lifting up your shirt slightly to heal the wound.

The others would take care of the fleeing demon. For now, his top priority was you. Making sure you'd be okay. But apparently that wasn't how you saw it. Pushing his hands away with the little strength you had.

“I'm fine. Don't worry about me. You should go after that thing with the others,” you tried to sway.

As if your life wasn't more important.

Like he didn't cherish you more than anything.

His gaze hardened, maneuvering you on your back to get a proper look at your wound. Summoning his spirit energy in his palm and pressing it firmly against your side.

“You'd think of me so callous as to abandon my injured lover?” He questioned.

His accusation temporarily shocking you.

“No but-” ‘you shouldn't be wasting your time with me.’ you wanted to say. But you were cut off before you could finish.

“Then there's nothing more to discuss. When I'm finished, we'll go right back home. Yusuke and Kuwabara are more than capable of handling this by themselves.”

You once again shifted around, trying to get him to stop. The case came first. It should've come first. Not you. You were hurt, but wouldn't die from it. It was pointless wasting energy on something you could manage with on your own. Kurama shouldn't be focusing on you when there was still an important mission at hand.

He gave you a glare and that was all it took to have you stilling.

“Why must you insist on being difficult? Don't you know that I'll choose you every time? I'll always choose you over any fight, any mission, any person. No matter what, it's always you, so sit still and let me heal you.”

—------

Hiei ⚔️⚔️⚔️

Impulsive, impulsive, impulsive.

He sees red the second your body hits the floor and you struggle to get up. A dark crimson trailing down your forehead.

Damn whoever hurt you, and damn anybody who dared get in his way.

He quickly slays the one responsible for your injury. Not even giving them enough time to process what's happening before it's over. When that's taken care of, he makes his way over to you. Shooing the group of your friends away so he can inspect your injuries himself. Despite the protests from a certain troublesome reaper.

“Let me see.” It's more of an order than a request.

But instead of complying, you turn your head and try to stand. Trying your best not to make a big deal out of nothing. Only for Hiei to shove you back down.

“I'm okay. It's just a scratch.” You brushed off, but he wasn't convinced in the slightest. Moving to wipe off the blood from your forehead.

You grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

“Don't. It doesn't hurt, so leave it. And anyways, you shouldn't have killed that guy. He needed to be brought in for questioning.”

Your words only further irritating the three eyed demon.

It seems you didn't quite understand the importance you held in his life.

He would have slayed thousands for even looking at you wrong. And here you were defending some cretin who'd committed an offense that was deserving of a fate worse than death. Sometimes he hated that human heart of yours.

“Shut up. You don't get to run your mouth after being so foolish.” He scolded. Moving to heal your injury with his spirit energy. He didn't do it often, but you were always a special case. You were special.

Yet you continued to try and avoid his help.

“I'm fine!”

“Argue any further and I'll put you to sleep myself. You think I care about some low life over you? You must have a concussion if you believe that.”

Then his next words were softer. For your ears only.

“Your life takes priority over anyone and everything, got that? You're mine, and any creature that dares lay a finger on you will have to deal with that consequence.”

----------------

[nynyhaha]

Neon Nostrade and the naivety of evil

Neon is hated on by both Chrollos and Kurapikas stans.And I never really liked her as well,tho I don’t think she deserves the hate.As a character,she’s actually brilliant!

She sure is naive.But she’s not evil.She actually shows a wish to help people.I wonder if she’s aware what kind of people she’s helping with her ability,but I doubt it.

As someone who loves finding bones in the wild and making necklaces from them,who is interested in the way human remains look,I have to remind myself not to be like neon.

Because to her,the scarlet eyes are just a fun accessory.A part of the yorknew arc I overlooked when first watching HxH was the way her whole essence affects Kurapika distructively.

Kurapika is breaking his moral compass as he allies himself with such a brutal organisation as the Nostrade family.Yet his job is rather harmless:protecting the Bosses teenage daughter.

Someone who is naive,spoiled and throws tantrums,but not someone who’s a bad person.I believe that Kurapika really wanted to protect her and keep her safe.

But she’s the customer. She is on the demand end,Chrollo does the supply,and Kurapikas family is the product

I don’t know why the troupe murdered the Kurta clan.But I know they sold their eyes because there were people willing to buy them.If not for people like her,the Kurta eyes wouldn’t even be on the black market.People who harvest human eyes and sell them are worthy of Kurapikas wrath,but people who buy those eyes and create the demand should be too.

Remember how Kurapika and Melody had to obtain body parts so they would be hired?Well,how do we know those body parts were ethically sourced?

What gives Neon the confidence,that the eyes aren’t from someone who was killed for them? But she doesn’t ask that question.

I doubt she knows how they were gathered,but she doesn’t know because she doesn’t even THINK about it.

That is sociopathic behaviour,but just like it’s normalised to eat meat in our society without thinking much where it comes from(I am myself guilty of that but I don’t feel guilt)in the world Neon grew up in,the history behind the desired treasure is not relevant.

This is also so interesting because out of Kurapika,Chrollo and Neon,Neon is the most innocent.

Kurapika is going down a dark path of working with the Mafia such as Neons father and actually killing someone.Chrollo is the reason for that.And who is on the other end of Kurapikas loss and Chrollo’s crimes?

A cute little girl.She hasn’t ever killed anybody.She’s valued by her father just for her ability.She wants some independence so she goes out and talks to Chrollo.

The phantom troupe turns out to be more human than Kurapika could’ve ever imagined.That results in him questioning his worldview where only the most evil psychopaths could do what the troupe did,but the troupe doesn’t consist of psychopaths.

And what about Neon?Shes not only a human with feelings,but she doesn’t even have bad intentions.She is not even a bad person.

Tserri is.And we would all expect someone like him to be on the demand end of the pipeline.

But there’s another type of person happy to have kurta eyes,someone who is looking at them with genuine,childlike wonder.

The phantom troupe teaches us that people can do unspeakable things while still having the ability to care about their friends,still having family like bonds with others.It’s possible to be a ruthless criminal who is selfless enough to sacrifice oneself for a loved one.

But Neon is the opposite of that.You can be a cheerful,delusional rich girl who doesn’t what to hurt anybody ,and yet be part of something as horrible as the body part market.

If the phantom troupe are monsters with feelings,Neon isn’t a monster at all.That’s what makes her even more terrifying.

Rather than ending up as Kurapikas or Chrollos,it seems that we are most likely to end up as a Neon.Because we are not required to kill to be affiliated with evil

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello sex witch! Hope you're having a wonderful weekend.

I have a question and I'm wondering if you can shed light on it. For context, I only recently started masturbating and using a vibrator but I've never had sex with anyone else before (due to a bad combo of shitty self esteem and antidepressants killing any sex drive I could have). I started off small with a vibe bullet and now I have a longer vibrator which does wonders to my clit but I'm having trouble with the penetration side of things. I tried the last couple days to get it inside, lots of lube etc but it didn't seem to go past maybe an inch or two. It's not even that it started hurting at that stage, there just... wasn't anywhere I could feel it going. And I tried a bunch of different angles and nothing. It almost felt like I was trying to pierce a pencil sized hole with a marker pen or something.

On the flip side, I recently had a transvaginal ultrasound - or at least tried to. And when the wand went inside it hurt so much that I had to stop her before she had even reached the vagina or so the tech said. Admittedly I did lie and said I had sex before because I'd used a vibrator lol so maybe I shouldn't have had that scan at all, but I guess I'm wondering if any of this sounds normal? Is this all because I'm still a virgin or whatever, even though that isn't something important to me at all? I can get fingers in and it's fine, it's good, actually, I like it, and sometimes my clit gets so sensitive that I prefer fingering myself, but I'm just trying to ascertain if it's a medical issue. I feel as though I can't really go to the doctor about this given there isn't a second person involved so it's not truly my sex life I'm actually talking about - but equally my GP thinks I might have endometriosis and did ask me if I have pain during sex. And given I'm a lesbian I didn't think that question necessarily applied to me (he asked if I was married and I said no, so he said that it wasn't relevant).

The tldr version of this ask: is it medically worrying that I can't get a vibrator inside me or any kind of internal scan? Are there any ways of working myself up to penetration or is my hymen gonna be the bane of my existence my whole life?

hi anon,

first off: don't lie to your doctors. when they ask if you've had sex, particularly in the context of something like a transvaginal ultrasound, they're asking in part so that they know what can be comfortably inserted into your vagina. they likely would have used a smaller wand had they known you don't have a lot of penetrative sexual experience, and the procedure might have gone much easier.

(although, for future reference: if anybody reading this is ever having a hard time with a penetrative procedure, you can always, always ask them to slow down, use something smaller, and make other adjustments necessary for your comfort.)

the question of whether or not you have pain during sex applies to everyone, regardless of your sexual orientation or whether you're having partnered sex or not. if you experience pain consistently when you masturbate, that's an issue.

it's very normal for penetration with a large object to be difficult or uncomfortable when you first start doing that. the vaginal muscles need practice to learn new skills the same as every other muscle; I often liken it to how nobody should learn how to run by showing up to a marathon without having ever done so much as going for a jog. don't press your boundaries faster than is comfortable; it's fine if you have a limited depth of penetration at the moment.

your hymen isn't really the issue here; please see the article about hymens linked in my sex ed FAQ dispelling many pervasive myths about what the hymen is and how it works.

[everybodytalkabout]

rant about my gay homosexual kin lore but i get emotional about it

i love him. he is so full of love. i really thought i’d broken him after playing death hide and seek with him across the multiverse for 30 years but something really changed in him once he met those kids and made up with his brother. or i guess not changed but was revitalized. without them i seriously doubt he wouldve forgiven me. like 0.000001% chance. he’s an amazing human. to be betrayed like that and still come out of it with a kind heart. 

i originally thought it was naivety and that he was the stupid one for opening up again but it turns out i was???? like this guy is doing better than me. how is the guy spilling his guts for other people enjoying life more than me who’s tried my best to not let anybody hurt me. in fact the best time i had was with him which was also a huge mistake because ‘why did i trust that guy obviously he would just ditch once he realized what was going on and now all my friends are gonna get sucked into the void and die because he doesnt want to move over and share his place’. so how was it the happiest id been AND my biggest mistake? (second biggest mistake anyway) he’s SO KIND to everyone except for me and sometimes he fights with Stan but they always make up eventually and it PISSED ME OFF! and confused me. why was everyone else getting mercy? it turns out you actually have to improve as a person… imagine that.

anyways the way he holds me. there are many different ways i guess. like sometimes it’s the rough kind of being held where we’re bantering until i get… “humbled”. sometimes he’s just mad i guess. some kind of negative emotion. and he holds me like he isnt sure whether he wants to protect me with those claws he’s making or kill me with them. but theres a lot of soft times, increasingly as time goes by. and he calls me his and why do i like that because he’s always been mine! and he’s warm and surrounding me and locking me up in this arms and being trapped and on fire has never felt so good. it feels safe and that was a foreign concept to me before this.

he holds me like im something innocent but we both know im not.

I try to remind him once in a while. i dont really know why. i guess some tiny part of me is scared and wants to push away the good thing before it turns bad. but i’ll be in his arms and i’ll tell him out of nowhere about this one galaxy i blew up and the unfathomable color of the blood on my hands and he says “I know, Bill” and keeps hugging me. that’s not in the script, Ford. he holds me and strokes my hair and it feels like home, like im a thoughtless little baby triangle again who didnt know enough euclydian to understand what other shapes were saying about me. which is scary. being innocent means being unaware and being unaware means being vulnerable. but my eyelid gets so heavy and it’s getting too hard to keep overthinking so all i can do is breathe in his smell and be limp. frantically trying to push through that haze to remind myself not to let my guard down but before i know it, im blinking awake in his bed all tucked in with care and the smell of pancakes in the air.

[notmorbid]

damnation spring.

dialogue prompts from damnation spring: a novel by ash davidson.

i've known rocks that talked more than you.

if you don't bet on yourself, nobody else will.

the past isn't a knot you can untie.

don't ever leave the house without a kiss goodbye.

you want some coffee, while you wait?

you gotta take a risk sometime.

i probably should have asked you a long time ago.

the fear is worse than the pain.

are you not attracted to me anymore?

i forgot how good it feels to have a secret.

there are too many ways to die out here.

if you let your mind wander, it could cost you your life.

what the hell kind of five dollar word is that?

i just do what they tell me.

kids are like puppies. it's easier with two.

they'll cut you with one hand and bandage you with the other.

look up 'careful' in the dictionary, and there you are.

keep your damn shirt on.

used to be, people looked out for each other.

one percent's not milk, it's water.

it's too easy to kill an idea by saying it out loud.

half the time, i don't know what i think until i say it out loud.

i never know what to do with my hands.

every day of a marriage is a choice.

you're always playing some kind of angle.

go to school. learn something.

what's the use of dredging all that up again?

when you get to be my age, you don't leave things till tomorrow.

there wasn't anything anybody could have done.

dogs are the best judge of people.

well, aren't you just as bright as a dime?

when was i ever young?

what are you so nervous about?

you never say a bad word about anyone.

people always say the wrong thing, don't they?

you're the one who never called me back.

you knew where i was.

are you going to tell my mom?

women have a way of passing bad news around.

can you walk on my back?

do you ever wonder what your life might have been like?

i figured i had time, you know?

the judge said it was self defense.

i watch out for my people. you know that.

keep it. i've got another copy.

don't be a stranger.

i thought you were up to no good.

it's not like the old days, is it?

you missed a hell of a show.

what are you doing for money?

smoke follows beauty.

my first word was 'son of a bitch'.

you never killed anybody?

the early bird gets his own damn breakfast.

if i shoot myself in the foot, i'll need you to carry me out.

i used up one of my nine lives today.

clean up your own mess, for once.

watch out for potholes. and assholes.

i had a hell of a time finding this place.

keeps the bible salesmen away.

when were you going to tell me?

you were my best friend, once.

a little rest never hurt anybody.

i'm so caught up in my own pain, i can't see anybody else's.

even a nice dog will bite when it's hurt.

you only get one life, sweet pea. live it happy.

look who the cat dragged in.

has your conscience caught up with you?

if you're shooting, shoot. don't make me dance.

you've been distracted for days.

you know something isn't right. what are you doing about it?

you're going to get hurt. you might even get yourself killed.

you're not alone in this.

people don't worry what they can't see.

it's important to do the right thing, even when nobody else is.

sorry doesn't pay the bills.

i judge a man by what he does, not what he says.

a threat? no. that's a promise.

what's wrong with me?

i hope you brought some sunshine.

careful now. some places you go, you can't get back from.

____ can go to hell. and so can you.

what do you gotta do to get some peace and quiet around here? die?

the roads are fucked. it's faster to walk.

what's wrong with you? you just do whatever they tell you?

right or not right, it's done.

would it kill you to just take my side for once?

where else would we go?

it looks worse than it is.

i've still got a few lives left in me.

you're all thinking it, but no one has the guts to ask.

whoever said you can't buy loyalty never spent a day here.

if you're smart, you'll get out of town.

it's okay to wander, as long as we always come home.

even an old dog can learn, if you're patient with him.

why would this time be any different?

what did you wanna be, when you grew up?

you don't have to watch me every minute of the day. i'm okay.

i forgot i was mad at you.

from outside, it looks like a normal house.

i can come stay for a while.

you ready for some help?

please don't hide from me.

i don't want to lose you. i can't lose you, okay?

nothing's wrong. i'm just happy.

not a lot of people are born to do something.

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 15

what’s happening to us?

so you’re not sleeping, you’re not having sex. sounds like you’ve been a complete fucking disaster without me.

you know i love you. right?

only thing to remember is take your time, even if there is no time.

i shouldn’t have to fight this hard to be seen.

all of a sudden, everything i thought i was fighting for is gone.

when i think of something to say, it doesn’t seem like enough.

i feel like everything is boring me. 

don’t do anything stupid. or brave.

you can’t imagine what i’ve done to get this far.

i was trying to be a low-maintenance girlfriend.

we’re just friends. it’s… nice. 

i know this seems like the end of the world, but you will get over it. probably sooner than you think.

i know all of the worst things about you. the shit that no one else knows. and i still love you. that’s why we don’t work with anyone else.

i know the difference between someone who cares about me and someone who doesn’t. i’ve been on the other side enough times.

i’ve never seen anybody worse at being in a happy relationship.

is it always like this? does it get worse?

i was too busy dying.

you’re the scariest person here.

i cannot exist with this secret anymore. you don’t understand.

it really is just us against the world, isn’t it?

you’re nowhere near as nice as you fucking think you are. 

you fight dirty. you use people’s worst shit against them.

i’m not your therapist, i should be paid for the shit i have to talk you through.

i honestly adore you.

sometimes i feel like you say stuff just to be a dick, like you store things up and make me feel like shit for no reason.

can it please be enough now?

i never wanted any of this. i didn’t wanna be at war with you.

i loved you. even though i knew exactly who you were, all of the worst things about you. so why do you punish me for that?

i feel sad all the time, and i don’t know why.

it’s not my fault that you feel like shit.

not everything’s a fucking joke just because you are.

i just ruin things, and there’s not even a fucking point to me.

i don’t feel normal. i feel like i’m nothing all the time.

there was a time when i’d do anything for you.

whose blood is that?

it’s a forest full of nightmares. 

only person that i care about is you.

one day you’re gonna make friends with people you actually care about. 

why do you insist on being the most annoying person in every room?

you know you’re a little fucked up?

you have so much love to give. you don’t have to give it all to me.

you can’t move forward if you’re looking back.

you make everyone sad. you make everyone fight.

i wanna feel like a good person again.

all this running and hiding has made me so miserable.

what i do know is that i don’t want to keep hurting you. 

what if i’m just as bad as everyone always said i was? what if i’m even worse than that?

you helped me realize something pretty big about myself.

you know we’d be awful together, right?

you look half dead already. i’ll be quick with the last half.

i think better when i work with my hands, so leave me the fuck alone.

you gotta die somewhere. what does it matter where?

i thought i’d get it right the next time around, but i made it worse.

sometimes, you have to do horrible things. no matter how bad you feel.

there’s something in your eyes, i could tell that you’ve been through stuff. 

i could tell that you were dangerous.

i’m here. and i love you. and i am so, so sorry that i hurt you.

we are all we have. us.

i’m not having a good night.

maybe that’s your cover, hiding in plain sight.

i don’t consider it cheating if it’s more of an exit ramp.

i need you to get your shit together. okay?

women kill for power.

i’m cute, i like when people notice.

is there a world where this works?

has the closeness of death made you feel more alive?

we can be friends because we like each other. not just because we worry about each other. right?

i think i just stopped caring if people think i’m a piece of shit.

it’s easy to move on when someone you trust totally disappoints you.

[devilishchaos]

THE { } AND | Rúben Dias Imagine

Rating / genre: interview?, conversation

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Y/N and Rúben play a card game and answer questions about each other. Basically admiration to one another.

Warnings: not really an Imagine; first pov; mention of death; it's fluff I think, like it's soft and brings Y/N and Rúben together idk I'm trying something new

Word Count: 1 475 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Walking into the room I admired the set that the crew had put together. I went around the table that was in the middle and sat down in a chair on the left, while Rúben sat beside me in a different chair, to my right. 

“You ready?” he asked me after we were mic'd up and ready to go, then grabbed my hand, knowing that I get nervous when someone is filming me. Although I knew what I was getting myself into when we decided that we were going to start dating. I mean this kind of stuff comes with dating a celebrity right? 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you okay with doing this?” 

“Rúben, I am here. If I wasn’t okay with any of this I wouldn’t be here, no?” 

“Okay baby, let’s do this!” He smiles. 

“Okay guys, you know the drill. Y/N will ask Rúben the questions off her cue cards, Rúben you will ask Y/N the questions off your cue cards and you have to answer the questions about the other person. We begin rolling in 3, 2, 1..” the director said and the cameras began rolling. 

“Hello guys, it’s Rúben here. I am here with Y/N, my girlfriend..” 

“Hello.”

“..and today we will be playing THE { } AND card game in this creative studio, exploring human emotion, intimacy and connection.” Rúben said and looked in my direction, which meant that it was time for my line. 

I took a deep breath and just said it. 

“Each one of us has their cue cards. Mine consist of questions for Rúben, Rúben’s cards consist of questions for me to answer. And we will be answering them in front of you guys. Who is going to start first?” I looked at Rúben and he suggested that I do. 

“Okay. First question Rúbes. Describe the moment you realized you could trust me.” I read the question out loud and placed my card on the table. 

“Okay, so..just when you were there for me, I mean, without me asking, without anything..just how much I could tell you loved me by the way you handled me when I didn’t know what was going on, what to do and which direction to take.” Rúben answered and here we were on the first question and there were tears in my eyes already. “There's that. My turn. What does my love feel like? ” 

“Oh wow..” I was taken aback “..what does your love feel like? Hmm..your love is intense and hard..you love hard to the point where I’m like “Let me breathe.” but at the same time it’s so warm and..safe. It makes me relax. You know?” and he just nodded his head. “What is a pain in me you wish you could heal?”  

“The loss of your grandfather..” the moment he said that sentence, it felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs because he knows how I feel about that. 

“I really do. But I know I never could heal it. What I want you to do is to heal it yourself, because no one can heal your pain..I know this was before my time. Before me and you got together, so I can’t tell you he died of his sickness nor that he wasn’t murdered by accident..but baby there’s nothing that you could have done to help him, you’ve seen his state..” Rúben stopped for a second and reached for my face to wipe a couple of tears because by now the tears were falling freely. Then he continued 

“I don't think anybody comes back from losing someone that they love deeply. But if I could, I'll take that pain away. I'll take your pain because I can deal with that pain. You understand what I’m saying? Because you already know how I deal with hurt. I don't let it kill me because I think that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to take your lessons, whether it’s good or bad, whether it’s a loss or a gain. You just gotta take it and learn how to live with it, because that's yours and it's never going to go away. But I just want you to learn how to live with that wound without letting it consume you.” 

And with that I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and started fanning my face a bit. God, I was probably red as a tomato in the face. 

“You good? Should we continue?” Rúben asked me with concern. 

“Yeah, yeah..I’m good. Ask me.” I gave him a smile. 

“When do you feel closest to me?” 

“When we cuddle.” I let out a giggle “I mean it’s a specific type of a cuddle. So like during the day if we cuddle it’s usually on the couch or on a chair outside in the garden. And most of the time it’s you laying down and me attached to you like a koala or something, and I put my head on your chest and yeah. I love that. But I feel closest to you at night or after a hard time that I was going through, with work or uni, when we spoon..and I am the little spoon..and I just I don’t know what is it but my head fits perfectly on your shoulder and it’s so comfy..you embrace me with both hands and your head is really close to mine..it’s the best, honestly.” 

“Really? I didn’t know that. We should do it more often.” 

“Yes. So Rúben, how am I most like you and how does that scare you? What a great question.” 

“It’s very simple. You are indefatigably honest. You reek of integrity and that scares me I guess, because that’s a holy grail for me. I can’t stand the emotional cowardness that people showcase these days.”

“The same goes to you, babe.”

“Okay. Y/N. When do you worry about me the most?” 

“Well, when you’re being too harsh on yourself. When you’re struggling or going through a hard time with work, family or me. Makes me feel helpless..and on that note it’s going to sound cliche but also when you go on the pitch. I feel like that implies to everybody who has such dynamic jobs. But like it’s not you who I am concerned about..well it’s you but what I mean is you are probably the most diplomatic person that I know. And I know you, and I know you would never start shit first. You know what I mean? It’s the other players that I don’t trust, because I’ve seen horrific things happen out there. You are usually the first one to try to stop a fight or whatever, but I am afraid that someone would purposefully hurt you or injure you, or try to provoke you. These thoughts alone make me anxious. I sometimes can't wait to hear the final whistle, no matter if you're losing or winning, if there are more than five yellow cards given - I'm on the edge the whole time and I want it to be over with..Well would you look at this Rú, last question. When do you think I need you most and are you there?” 

“A tough one. Hmm..I think you need me most when you are not feeling well. Mentally, emotionally and physically. I think I am there. I feel like I am there, If I can be there I am. And even if I almost can’t be there, I find a way to be there with you. Through whatever it is that you're going through. And it’s hard because you require alone time. And I respect that and I give it to you, well I try to but I know you..you'll most likely overthink everything and knowing that you are restless and in distress makes me go crazy..Now, your last question Y/N. When are you the most in love with me?” 

“Oh my God..when you are surrounded by family and friends. Doesn’t matter if your parents come to visit us in Manchester or we go to Portugal. That’s when you are completely relaxing. As I said before, you are very intense, passionate, responsible, serious and just about your business in your day-to-day lifestyle. You are on the edge 24/7 trying to do your best everyday and seeing you with your family absolutely melts me. You get more soft, you get to chill and rest, loosen up a bit, and let go of any negative energy. Recharge your batteries, you know what I’m saying.” 

“I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you, Rúben.” 

“Well, there you go guys. This was me and my lovely girlfriend answering these great questions that I feel like brought us closer to one another. Hope you enjoyed it, we sure did. And I guess I will see you soon. Have a great day. Bye, guys.”

[adelaide-arden]

"Just because you feel like shite, doesn't mean you have to look like one, Ads."

My younger sister, Scarlett, has always had a way with words. But however blunt she can be, I've always found comfort in them. Eventually.

Scarlett had just turned 18, on her last year of high school, and is much stronger than I ever was at that age. And I often wonder, if I had been more like her, where would I be now? Would I still have left Blaire's birthday party that evening? Would I have been able to endure staying at Jeremy's family estate in a completely unfamiliar bedroom because I can no longer sleep where we always have? Moreover, could I have plucked the courage to be with the rest of the crew at his family's private island to ring in the New Year? I'm ashamed to admit that the answer to all those questions is 'no'. Not yet, anyway. I just need time.

I'll get over it all, I'm sure of it. I may not be as strong as Scarlett, but I'm not weak, either. It's the waiting that kills me. Going through the waves of pain and emotion, day in and day out, that's what makes it all the more unbearable. But keeping my distance from him is helping, somewhat, even if it makes me miss the others a whole lot more. I'm learning to be myself without any little bits of him peppered throughout my days.

This holiday season — the first I won't be spending with him, there's nothing more that I want than for time to move faster. So, I can finally fucking get there. But if I were being really honest with myself, I wish I had Scarlett's strength instead. At least for the time being, while I'm slowly but surely gathering up my own.

For now, I'm grateful that I have my sister, who's so "lovingly" forcing me into one of the "cuntiest" dresses she thought I needed. And although Cambridge is no party town, I suppose fresh air and good music would do me some good. It's been a while since I've truly let go and danced until my feet hurt; I could do with a different kind of pain these days. Besides, a little champagne never hurt anybody. Or a little more than just a little.

I admit, as we are hours from the turn of the year, I'm actually looking forward to going out for the first time in weeks. I doubt I'll make it to midnight but who knows? 2025 is nearly here and I'm so ready for a whole new Adelaide.

[randomwriteronline]

Have you possible read my mind? (joking) I love the idea of Mata Nui just losing his entire shit.

An asshole that could get Mata Nui going is The Shadowed One. Hurting anybody in the GSR for profit and power, arrogant- but what would trigger his wrath on a personal level is that The Shadowed One did steal or had the same virus stolen that made Mata Nui sick in the first place and put him in a coma. Not to mention that he captures people as trophies that he traps in comas in stasis tubes. Some of who are still trapped, at least according to Word of God.

And a person like the Shadowed One is likely not only to hold this virus as a threat for blackmail, but use it.

holds you by the shoulders in an iron grip SHAUNI. AAAAAAAAAAA

god you are so right. AND he has agents all over the place hE COULD FIGURE OUT WHERE MATA NUI IS. maybe plan a visit. to taunt and kidnap him obviously. can you IMAGINE having the former god of the matoran universe on display right behind your throne. or next to it. what a powerplay. maybe even keeping him conscious instead of in stasis like the others, just to show how weak and pathetic he has is compared to Me, The Shadowed One.

he shows up himself. maybe a henchman or two to stand guard, because for now theres no toa or glatorian but you can never be sure. certainly not for mata nui. he knows the details of his current state and he cant do much even in his best days.

this is one of the worst days.

he saunters to his bedside as he lays there, taunting him the whole way, taking his sweet time. really savoring it, you know? heres the incarnation of my cosmos, the being by whose will we were supposed to abide without question, who plenty of people still revere and protect as though he was still the sky above their heads and the ground below their feet: fighting to even breathe. what a joke.

he still sort of notices it - the way Mata Nui looks at him without a word with these frighteningly bright eyes, the way he inhales and exhales slowly, deeply, as if to calm down, the way his fists twitch as they try to tighten. the way the room feels... smaller. darker. like everything is converging towards the sickly figure, like hes a center of gravity, a black hole slowly dragging everything around him in to devour it.

and then he sees him sit up. stand. and walk to him. and it scares tso SHITLESS. not for the size necessarily, but for the fact that he DID THAT in the first place and for how he LOOKS -- you know those stories of ppl pulling insane feats of strength while scared or worried bc their body just shuts down the feeling of pain for a bit? Mata Nui is in ANGUISH with every step but he is TOO FUCKING MAD to feel it and TSO can SEE IT. and then hes on the floor and God is looking at him with a hand around his throat and he won't hurt him any further. but he says with this labored voice, as calmly as wrath allows, that if Mata Nui finds him a single trace of him and his dealings anywhere on the entire planet ever again he is going to crack him in half if he fucking has to. Beg to the Great Spirit that a crueler soul gets you first, because I will refuse to show you the mercy you lacked at the cost of killing myself along with you.

Gresh is going to find him limp on the floor with every cell of his body killing him with hammers and hes going to call him a careless idiot (rightfully) but at the same time Mata Nui knows that right now TSO is sitting in his fortress with shit caked pants and a renewed debilitating fear of divine retribution so it was WORTH IT

[nomoreusername]

It's Not Goodbye

Pairing:Newt x gender neutral reader

Summary:After finding out you're not immune, you are ready to get rid of yourself only to be caught by Newt.

It was okay at first. I felt no different than I always did. I was a bit sore from the Cranks, but it didn't matter. I had saved Newt from the one that tried to kill him, and that's what matters. Nobody ever died from a bite when they're immune.

Unfortunately, they do if they're not. It turns out I was one of the unlucky suckers capable of turning into those things.

At first, I didn't even notice it. There was a lot of pain in my ankle, but it wasn't bad enough to say anything. I thought I was just irritable because I was hot and tired. That's a reasonable explanation.

Then, I noticed something. Black veins started growing from the bite. That's when it finally kicked in. I wasn't immune. Now I have two options. I could kill myself or spend my life as one of those things. The choice is obvious.

I didn't tell anybody. I just didn't have enough energy. Apparently, the flare gives you enough energy to harshly shove your friend to the ground though. Minho ended up with bloody elbows after that. I went full force. All eyes turned to me, and it was obvious that everyone was pretty pissed off that I would do that. Everyone ignored me for the rest of the day.

As night fell I thought about it. My last day with them was spent with me holding back tears. I hurt my friend without thinking about it. I was dangerous which meant I had to leave. It was now or never.

Unfortunately, the only gun was in Newt's bag. I cautiously kneeled next to him. Since he was using it as a pillow I used my hand to support his head. By some miracle he didn't wake up, and I had the gun in my hands.

That's when it went wrong. Newt woke up, and in my fear I dropped him and ran. He was quickly startled awake. He looked in the bag and noticed the missing gun. By then I was already out of sight.

I put the gun against my head as my breathing grew heavy. I sucked in as much air as possible and closed my eyes. Then, I went to pull the trigger.

"No!"Newt yelled, snatching it from my hand. I quickly pulled him down and held him to the ground. He groaned in pain, and I realized just how evil I was becoming.

"I'm sorry Newt, but I have to do this. Just give it to me,"I pleaded.

"No. You're not doing this,"He argued, keeping it close to him. I knew it could go off so I took it from his hands. Before I could do anything he knocked it away, and the last bullet was set off.

"No! What have you done?! What did you do?!"I cried, rushing towards it. I did everything to click it over and over as if I could set it off. Nothing happened.

"Why would you do this? How could you do this to me?"I sobbed, burying my face in my hands. By now the others had woken up and came over to see what was happening. I'm sure it was a terrible sight. I was crying while holding a gun, and Newt was frozen in shock.

"You killed me. You killed me in the worst way possible,"I sobbed, biting my lip to hold back my screams. I heard my friends run to my side to figure out what was happening.

"I couldn't let you-"

"I'm infected. Why do you think I've been so angry lately? It's already happening. I'm losing my mind, and you just made it go on,"I explained, my throat sore from the sobbing.

A heavy silence filled the air. I pulled my pant legs to reveal the way veins were growing so it would sink in.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"Newt uttered, wrapping his arms around me. I just sat there and let him hold me.

"I need another way. I can't live like this."

"What if we can find some way to help? Maybe we could slow it down until we get there,"Teresa spoke up. I sadly shook my head.

"You all saw what I did to Minho. I just did it to Newt. I'd rather die as I am than being hated."

"We don't hate you,"Thomas whispered.

"Not yet. Please, help me. Let me do something. Anything,"I begged. By now even the wind seemed to stop making any noise.

"I found a knife in the mall. It's the only thing I have. I don't think anyone has anything else"Newt whispered.

"It sounds better than being beaten by Aris's bat,"I attempted to joke, giving a sad smile. I was more than thankful when he did his best to return it though it looked like a grimace.

"I'll go get it now,"He said quietly. I nodded my head as he walked away.

As he did my friends, new and old, kneeled beside me. I let them hug me, knowing it would be the last time. By now several tears from them were falling. I didn't have it in me to do that. All I knew was that I would die still being loved. That was enough.

"I'm sorry,"Minho whispered. I just sadly shook my head.

"I think I'd be just as bad if something like that happened to me,"I assured him. Before he could say anything else Newt was back with a tear streaked face.

Everyone moved as he sat beside me. He was trembling as placed the knife in my hand.

"I guess this is goodbye,"He uttered. I shook my head no.

"I don't believe in goodbyes. I'll see you later,"I corrected him.

"Okay. I'll see you later,"He repeated, placing one last kiss on my lips. It was the slowest one we ever had because it was going to be our last for a long time. Eventually, we had to pull apart.

More tears ran down his face which I wiped away. He leaned into my touch.

"I need you to go back to the campsite. Don't turn back tomorrow. Go forward so you don't have to see me like that. Can you do that for me?"I asked.

"I will. I love you Y/N."

"I know. I love you too. Now this is the part where we walk hand in hand."

"And after that?"

"One last kiss, one last I love you, and whatever comes in the next life."

[cassieroni]

” I Miss You. “

ᴅɪᴠɪᴅᴇʀ ʙʏ— @sweetmelodygraphics

Synopsis: A grief-stricken Donna finally decides to visit her brother's grave.

CW/TW: OC / original character, character death, smoking, suicide mention, angst, swearing. angst to fluff..? maybe.

!!FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW!!

Word count— 928 words. short read

Losing Dally did something to me. It gave me this funny feeling in my gut, like I was gonna be sick. Honestly, I might have preferred being sick to dealing with this.

I still remember that night. I was bawling like a baby. I'd never in my life cried in front of anybody 'til then, but I just couldn't help it. Glory, I sure could cry. Nowadays I spend most of my time at the Curtis house. They say they don't mind me staying, but I know better. I'm just takin' up space, and we all know it.

I figured I'd been avoiding it too long, so I decided I'd go and pay ol' Dally a visit. I didn't want to. I really didn't. Well, I did want to, but I didn't think I could handle it. I still don't. Either way, I forced myself to go anyway.

There I was, sitting down, lighting up a cancer stick, and wondering whether I should say anything or not. Eventually, I did.

“Hey, Dal,” I could hear the quiver in my voice and I knew I was gonna start crying. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to say, so I just said whatever came to mind and hoped it wasn't just word vomit. “It ain't fair. It ain't fair at all. Why'd you have to go and leave me all alone? I know I shouldn't be mad at ya, but I can't help it. You were all I had left, and now you're gone. I think I'm more mad at myself than I am at you. I don't think I ever told you 'I love you'. I regret that now. I should have said it more, even if you woulda laughed at me or called me a mean name. Sometimes I wonder if you knew it. That I loved you. I sure hope you did. I don't think I could go on if you didn't. I don't think I can go on at all. Golly, if you could see me now, you sure wouldn't be happy. You'd bop me upside the head 'nd tell me something like, 'stop smoking, stupid' like you used to. I used to get mad when you were on my case like that, but I think I get it now. You wanted to keep me safe, I think. I don't think you wanted me to be like you. I was always trying to, though. You're the toughest guy I know, even now. I thought if I was tough and cool like you, people would like me.“ By now, I could feel hot tears running down my face. I don't think I cared very much though. I took a long drag of my cigarette and without wiping my face, started again.

“Boy, was I wrong. Dead wrong. It's rough, Dally. I'm a mess. I can't go a day without gettin' in a fight. Fuck, I think somethin' might be wrong with me. I know the gang's worried about me.. I appreciate it, I do, but it hurts. It ain't the same without you, Dal. It ain't the same. No matter how much I whine and cry, you ain't comin' back. Not this time. It just ain't fair. Why'd it have to be you? Gosh, I can't go on like this. It's all just too much and I don't know how much more I can take before I end up killing myself! Maybe it's better if I do. Maybe if there is somewhere you go after you die... well, maybe we'd be together. Who knows. I like to think we would, but I'm scared, Dally. I'm real scared. I don't know what to do. I don't want to die! That's crazy talk. I 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 want to die, but I can't do this without you. Maybe there's some kind of bright side to this, but I can't find it. I miss you, Dallas. More than anything. I thought I didn't need you, but shit, now that I don't got you, I can see how wrong I was. I need you. I need you more than ever, but... well, that just ain't gonna happen, so I might as well suck it up 'nd stop cryin', huh? Maybe things will get better. I don't know. Here's to hoping, I guess.” With a sigh, I stubbed out my cigarette, pushing myself off the ground and wiping my tears on my sleeve. For a while, I just stared at his headstone, drawing a blank. I could feel my eyes welling up again and I knew I'd start crying again if I didn't leave, so I shoved my hands in my pockets, turned on my heel, and started walking away. I felt a little better, I guess. Maybe I just needed to get that outa my system or something.

Once I made my way back to the Curtis's place, I pushed the front door open and bent down to unlace my boots, which I carelessly threw aside before making my way up to Soda and Pony's room. Soda wasn't there. I figured he was at work or something. Pony was, though. He was on his bed, nose deep in a book. I don't think he knew I was there. Not until I threw myself at him, at least. I nearly knocked the wind outa him, but once he caught his breath he gave me a little smile and I curled up there next to him, and next thing I know, he was readin' out loud to me while I struggled to stay awake.

[cantuscorvi]

15 lines of dialogue

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

“There's no reason to trust anybody. Every time we do it there is a risk. We are all aware of that potential risk, but sometimes we do it anyway.”

“And if there’s nothing for you to find? If there is no ‘underneath’, just. . . More of what you already know. Would you still care to see?”

"It would be a shame to sever our new partnership if your carelessness damaged these trousers."

“Yes — I have hurt people. And I would do it again, to protect myself. As many times as I require. I will do it. This is what makes you afraid of me. I have never hurt you, but I suppose that doesn’t matter at all. You’re thinking that I am capable of it. That is enough.”

“On the contrary, a lack of spirit makes poor sport for the devil indeed. Too much of that and he’ll grow as fat and complacent as his former quarry.”

“You take me for such a misanthrope, but I tell you, if I truly were one you would know it.”

“I perfectly understand my own nature. I don’t need you to try and tell me what it is.”

“If you could live forever, imagine how much fatigue you might feel about the world — until you begin to look at it differently. Beyond the everyday, and the superficial. And if you look closely enough — life is full of those mysteries we believe belong only to the past.”

“Everyone in this room — and that includes me, don’t forget — will try to leave their mark on you, at some point or another.”

“The world is undeniably built on those delusions. Most people are trying to manifest the spectres they dream up — would toil and sacrifice and try all manner of things to bring what they want into reality. Myself included.”

“How do I put this delicately. . . It’s pointless garbage.”

“Crows may not be the most deadly or the most loved of the bird kingdom, but they do have some of the sharpest brains, the best sense of humour and the biggest balls.”

“I’m warning you. There’s only so many times I can walk past half a monopoly set, or salt and pepper shakers shaped like two fat chickens, before I succumb to hopeless ennui. At least an antique store is curated. . .”

“The only problem with paintings of St Sebastian, is there are never enough arrows in him.”

“I suppose I should ask, for propriety's sake, if you're trying to kill me or sleep with me. But does it matter? Whatever it is, you seem devoted to it.”

stolen from: @malefikant like 7 billion years ago but i didn't do it until i was brave enough to tackle combing through my threads and such lmao

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hey!! Can I request Yan! sanemi vs. Yan! Giyuu? Whose very motherly? Like ahh I was thinking reader took the Kamado square under her wing, oh oh!! And and- shes like especially like a mom to Inosuke.. Ah!! Thank you for reading💞💞

-🐈

Ooooh! Cute! I like this idea a lot! Motherly characters are always very adorable!

Yandere! Romantic! KNY Hashira Scenarios: Shinazugawa Sanemi vs Tomioka Giyuu

The latest Hashira has won everybody’s hearts around her for how motherly she is to the younger ones. She was brave enough to try stop all your fellow Hashira from hurting the Kamado boy and his sister

But she has especially won the hearts of two lone Hashira; the Wind Hashira and the Water Hashira. Sanemi as her loving and elegant personality with her motherly instincts turned his wheels all the right way and Giyuu for her unconditional kindness towards him and gentle pushes to come out of his shell

This pair are two of toughest in the area of emotion and falling in love. Sanemi doesn’t want to be vulnerable at all again and Giyuu doesn’t want to get close to anybody again

It’ll be hard but you manage to do it, mainly through your personality being so angelic, it snares them and traps them in a bait they eventually don’t want to escape

Their harmless little crush on you grows rotten quickly, as disgusting as a fish fillet, into a obsession when they both see you chatting with with Kanroji and Iguro, the two welcomed you in with pleasure as you enjoyed your time openly

Sanemi is terrifying with his clinginess and Giyuu is extremely overprotective. They tug and pull you around until you wound up in their arms, just to pulled back into the other. It’s like they are children fighting over a cute blanket, you are stretched out like pizza dough by the end as the two Hashira argue and fight loudly

Neither have the gut to stalk you but they invade your personal space and they invade your privacy, going through your belongings at specific times. Sanemi catches Giyuu sniffing through your kimonos and tries to call him out to you so you’ll hate him

Giyuu is very good at defending himself from any potential blackmail Sanemi may try as he is quite good at gaslighting and lying, switching around Sanemi’s manipulation to be used against him

Giyuu and Sanemi fight vigorously. Sanemi yells and argues with such anger as Giyuu pushes back calmly and barks out in a low voice. Their arguments and fights over you with each other are intense. So intense that the compassionate angel like you feels a bit scared

Giyuu won’t kill for you, he sees that as far too unnecessary since he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings whilst Sanemi will happily track down and brutally dice apart his enemies so you’ll be all his. He does try to harm Giyuu a lot, but it never goes well as he is prepared for any nighttime assassination attempt

“What’s so great about those little brats, Dokusha? I am actually a Hashira, I can give you a lot better time in training then those shitheads can”

“Dokusha. They can’t grow without training from every Hashira. Please don’t waste your time with them… they aren’t as good as… a actual Hashira like myself”

You spend quite a lot of your spare time training the Kamboko Squad and taking care of them. You took the four off Kocho’s hands for her so you can help make these innocent talented slayers see their potential

This fact simply enrages Sanemi and Giyuu as they grow very jealous over your love and attention being directed on such pathetic beings like those kids. Giyuu may like Tanjiro but that doesn’t mean he’ll ever be okay with him winning over your smile. Sanemi, on the other hand, has never wanted Tanjiro, his sister and his friends dead any harder, than now

Giyuu tries his best to seem supportive of you taking in the Kamaboko Squad, whilst fuming with absolute jealous and disgust over them. Though, Sanemi tries to scare the Kamboko Squad away from you behind your back with death threats and sword swings

Instead of their only rivals being each other, now they gotta deal with four young cute children having your love and respect. As your motherly instincts keep in all the time, looking after them and feeding them tho. They both want you to look after them and feed them so badly

This rivalry isn’t as bad as a few of them as the arguments, whilst being loud and aggressive, is minor as their both fighting with the Kamaboko Squad more then with each other over you. Though, it doesn’t take much to have you eat lunch with them

Giyuu and Sanemi are the type to spill out his heart to you unconditionally as he believes you deserve to know everything he thinks of. It does creep you out a bit but their delusional minds won’t process your nervous reaction

“Good morning, Dokusha. I heard you’ve been training the brats since sunrise so I decided to bring you breakfast as you haven’t— Huh? How do I know that? A lucky guess, I suppose“

“Dokusha. Good afternoon, a crow told me that you’ve been training the kids all day. I’m proud and happy for you but you haven’t taken a break yet. How about we go eat together— I… I know that because my crow told me”