#i can just walk through shadows because its a dream and im god

[therulerofallpotatos]

Learning how to shadow travel in my dreams has been v fun and useful especially when your sick and for some random reason the Terrifier clown crashes the party and starts hunting you

Like ooh u have me cornered-psych bitch i just sank into the floor. Im in the shadows between worlds now and this is my house now and you cant get in. I'll be floating here as long as i want and reapppear wherever i want cuz everywhere has shadows and you are just one guy. Gonna crash my party and ruin my dream plot w your nonsense. Whatever i do what i want. Your movie wasnt even very good. I forget it exists 99.9% of the time.

[tojisun]

im shaking in need my god pop star f!reader x hockey player price oh god oh god

EXCLUSIVE: john price (2), goalie for the specgru and a nominee for this year’s vezina, seen holding hands with a budding pop star of the era, five years his junior.

both are seen dining together and walking around downtown after this night's victorious game against the florida shadows. the two seemed to be engrossed in their conversation and are happy with each other.

it is important to note that price had stated two years ago that he was taking himself out of the dating market after divorce with now ex-beau martha castillo, his wife of four years. is he rescinding his statement? when was this relationship formed? did… (subscribe to suns net to read more)

"jesus," john rumbles, his words muffled behind his palm as he sags in his chair. he passes the tablet back to laswell, their manager, and refuses to make eye contact with anyone else in the group.

the team were the first to call him since the incident, the incessant ringing rousing him from his peaceful dream. he stretched his arm out to pluck his phone from the nightstand, careful not to jostle you awake.

in the end, his efforts were futile because your own team reached out to you. unlike the specgru's management team, yours were more prepared for the fiasco, sending threads of emails full of instructions how to deal with the situation.

it's not necessarily a scandal, not with how there were more people reacting in favour of the relationship, but john had always been a private person and he is just not used to how his relationship with you ended up being public just overnight.

it's not your fault, no matter how many times you've told him so. he knew what he was getting into when he pursued you. he told his team, their PR department, and even his parents about what might change. even martha was given a lengthy call, the two of them making arrangements how martha and her new wife could possibly avoid being pulled into the spotlight.

so really, everything's fine. it really is. it's just that you've been ignoring his calls since this all started, running out of his flat with a yelled, "be back!", only to disappear for hours. john is worried.

"lassie’s probably doing work. damage control an' all that—you know how it is in the bizz," johnny says, consoling.

"do you know how the 'bizz' even works, 'tavish?" kyle pipes in.

john hears a choked sound, then an abrupt yelp, before scuffling fills his ears.

great. now his team’s tussling.

“out,” kate’s voice pierces through his thoughts. “you all, out. you’re distracting.”

“but missus!” johnny whines, but he doesn’t get to say any more and john looks up, wanting to see how terrifying kate must have looked like to shut johnny up.

oh, yeah, he thinks. that'd put the fear of god in anyone, alright.

he watches as the team shuffles out, all of them sending him comforting smiles, before he’s left alone with kate and alex. kate sits in front of him. “run it by me again, john. where did she tell you she’d be?"

john licks the back of his teeth, hesitating, but before he can respond, his phone rings. three chirps pass when john was finally able to reach for it, ignoring the bewildered look that alex is giving him—kate, it seems, is not even shocked by how agile john is when it comes to you.

"hello?" he murmurs, turning away from his managers in lieu of privacy. from the reflection of the window, he sees alex look away too, in pretense with john, while kate continues to stare, scrutinizing.

"hi, baby," you chirp with a giggle as if you were not radio silent for four whole hours; the afternoon is about to swell at its peak, the summer sun sweltering from every corner of the city. "i missed you lots."

and just like that, john feels himself relaxing. his shoulders sag in the newfound comfort wafting from within his chest, his bruised lips—he didn't even know he had been biting them in his worry—slipping between his teeth, and his forehead easing from all his frowning.

john feels like he's won another game; like they've defeated the shadows and claimed the cup for themselves already.

"s'alright," he says, a touch softer. "all is well f'r you?"

"all is well," you reply, voice curling like you’re smiling. "i'm gonna do somethin' soon so all i ask is that you trust me, okay?"

"of course," john instantly replies before his mind could even comprehend what you just said. "wait what-"

"okay then. bye!"

the line drops just like that.

"oh god," kate hisses from behind john. john can't quite say he mirrors the sentiment because anything you do is good. everything that you are is bright.

he would trust you with a goal, if he could—you have his heart already, after all.

.

"holy shit!" mactavish shrieks before a phone is shoved underneath john's face.

he goes cross-eyed, blinded by the blue light for a minute, before he is finally able to push johnny's hand away. he plucks the phone from his friend, grunting when the rest of the squad flank him, heads butting his own as they try to get a glimpse of what was on mactavish's phone.

simon begins to laugh while kyle repeats johnny's words.

john can't blame them. holy shit indeed.

it was a new post from you, in instagram. it was a picture he remembers you asking him to take for you from the night before, all coy as you danced in front of him, both of you ignoring the obvious tent underneath his sweats.

"i want a keepsake," you murmured while batting your eyelashes. "please?"

"it's all yours, if you want," john remembers replying, all parched with his need.

"no," you said with a giggle. "a picture's enough."

"okay," he had said with a croak, his eyes blown wide as desire bloats from the pit of his belly.

so here it is now, posted for everyone's eyes in your account, the product of your seduction—you, sitting on the back your legs, stretching out on the bed, clothed in nothing but his jersey for a top—the bold and white-coloured 2 almost covers your whole back—and a black bikini for a bottom.

his eyes flit to the caption: comfy in his shirt. #letsgospecgru

"holy shit," john rasps out loud this time, his need growing teeth.

keller bursts into the locker room. “your turn to post with her merch.” he throws something at john and it is only his reflexes that allows him to catch it with his hands.

he looks at it—it’s a cream jumper sold during the release of your new album. the material is soft, the embroidery so smooth. the logo, even, is beautiful.

say less, he thought, already slipping out of his practice shirt and into the jumper.

.

[image]

pricejhn2: her number one fan #newalbum

[soulhavens]

my running list of wallaru thoughts (plus one or two headcanons)

the trauma from sybil's speech ))):

the wallaru zeke quest i midnight oil - a slurry of plant-life and dream water, used in place of coffee.... the YW definitely is the Midnight Oil addict (caffeine addict yknow??) - they run on stress and Midnight Oil lol

i hate the sounds that the dingos make when we defeat them ):

Krokodile dundara tries to fight his own battles but the YW steps in... dundara kinda reminds me of moo bo (moo bu?) in that he comments on the wiz's uhhh.... battle-readiness

anyway it seems like the wiz has some pent up aggression that they're looking to burn off with battles

the kangaroo bushwhackers comment on how the YW takes their battle v seriously.... so no holding back on the YW's part

I think it'd be cool if we get to see our companions do some of the mob fights?

the bushwhackers are unionized!!

Fallen Arachna Empire... WHAT. "Great Prince"???? oh no

lol spiders of the multiverse. i see you KI, i see you

how did i know it was a con

fghjkkjdhg the loading screen for Rest by the Fire

daseinnnnnnnnnnn D:< i miss you

did we just get a cut scene for a cannonball-ed emu?

are we about to re-enact the emu wars LMAO

phett and cadd - i see you KI, i see you

when we're destroying the emu cannons... we're walking along quite a thin ledge. i bet the yw isnt in a great headspace here for a number of reasons

did we just get called out for being isekai-ed into the spiral???

i bet the outback makes the yw feel nostalgic for the aero plains (god i miss the aero plains..)

dasein )): "It is you! the real you" im gonna cry

aaaahhhhh "and what are my dreams, my unrealized reals?" "I want to be Something. I want to be good. I want to belong (everywhere)"

has the wallaru loading screen been changing as we go through the world? like it was just the poster and now its the poster with "ned collie was right" and i think thats super fucking cool

in hindsight it's probably cued into which area you're loading.... but it gives the effect of "its evolving as you play thru wallaru" which i like

the yw keeps nodding off and having dasein dreams, which makes me think that during this world the yw is just chronically running on a lack of Good sleep, yknow?

something about judge judi is throwing me off. i dont like her.

VEG???? not you ):<

wait actually? maybe not so bad....

who tf is the prince theyre talking about. i s2g.

oh goodie. corrupt government. didnt see that coming.

patrick warburton??? (no, unfortunately)

fought the law and won..... what an interesting badge. the yw is collecting so much trauma (:

bonesbury rules of magical combat?? (ok i know this is a play on john locke... but im intrigued by there being various sets of magical combat rules)

i love morp

oh god wait are we about to get into some matrix plots? yknow. cos morpheus?

"Even way out here we've heard of the one who walked the Reverie" i think its interesting that diff NPCs know the YW for diff reasons which is cool

"can't let anyone around the barrier with corrupted influences about" but we are child of light and shadow, divine paradox, touched by shadow.... hmm

me, staring at the magistreto, squinting: "...maestro? master? professor hex? the professor? is this another dr who reference??"

i like how small we are in the eucalyptus forest

dont mind me side-eyeing sandiago

did..... did we just watch an NPC get vored? oop no theyre alive

it amuses me so much that phasmanian devils can do the apollo spell (and it amuses me still that hes a chicken because apollo. a pollo. hah!) - also... thinking about how spells work again, especially when theyre based on an in-game character/npc/boss you fight... (coughcough the morganthe spells)

i am going to slap these judges and also these gold class guests

dasein stop breaking my heart ))):

"But you can brainwrite yourself. Just jump in the lake. See the scaries what haunt them when the sand hits their eyes." - oh boy... the YW is def not in a great headspace and everyone else can tell

okay so the dialogue box says "Sandiago camel" and "old one camel" but the mob title is "Feral camel" lol? wait wait wait old one??

hey sandiago im getting a bad feeling about you and morp too (rip me from approximately 13 notes ago)

"The Dreamer has only ever been seen by Wallu. Imagine what it could create if fueled by diverse experience?" oh no i'm getting a bad feeling about this

Freddie Croaker says to tell Judge Veg he says hi, but it doesn't seem like we as the YW do that? (at least not in the dialogue immediately following the instance..)

welp. morp.

"They built the Great Barrier because strangers came here, right up to the Dreamer itself, and made something horrible. An engine of evil it was, that could reshape the Spiral. Even the Great Tree could not perceive it. We could not allow such a creation." Oh no oh no oh no... i'm getting bad feelings b/c dasein... and the yw... and the old one..

"then we enter the dreaming to.." sandiago.... why are you trying to access the dreaming? and with morp continually being like "i feel like i know you" hmmmmm

its fucked up that you fight hostages but also i like the mechanics. i know that damaging the hostages is like breaking the aura on them which is like the ropes, but wouldn't it fucked up if you actually had to damage the hostages to release them

god these judges are sooooooo annoying

"Ten, nine, the Spiral hates Dasein" KI ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SOB

"in these waves which are not water swim the thoughts which yearn to be real" i am sensing a major potential for YW angst right here

avatars of avarice... are we about to get into layers of hell/seven deadly sins or something?

sandiago was the one who guided the old one to wallaru... interesting........ ohhhhhh he was a founer of the cabal. wild.

i'd need to go back and do mirage since i dont really have an opinion on sandiago.... but more yw angst potential (:< this time with Betrayal

"This sapce is special. Its waters are not entirely real, thus not visible to Bartleby - a blindspot in reality." interesting piece of lore that i need to think about

oh are we finally cashing in on freddie kroaker's "say hi to judge veg for me"? nice

so far i do like the theme of "you can have done some Not Great Things in the past and still grow and change and learn"

ok wait judge veg's "I was always a fighter, a weapon to be aimed. First against the outlaws of Wallaru, then against unhealthy diets, then the Spiral itself. I don't know what to do after this." jdgkl;akdjfksoa;dkfja;dkf im - I think veg and the YW would reallly relate to the "a weapon to be aimed" line

"...because I'm a bad guy" not a big fan of this line, or of freddie kroaker in general..

freddie's plan was to remake a toxic, juggernaut crab..

the dreamer is bartleby but like different? hm "from his unconsciousness imaginings come new realities' idk how to feel about that

we get to connect dasein to the dreamer though <3

"Wizard, you are real. and so is he." ajdgkls;ajdka dasein and the yw real <3

"What are you doing here?" "We're here for you, to help you figure out where you belong" omgomgomgomgomg

dasein my beloved

"Was [our Walkabout] all you had hoped, Wizard? You did not face your demons, nor realize your truth as we all did." [insert YW's assumed dialogue here] "Haha, indeed, well said my friend. Your truth is to help others, as you demonstrated countless times in our journey. Your walk was for your friend after all." - I'm unsure about how I feel about this line too - in some sense I was hoping the YW would get more of their own conclusion, although i understand thats not possible with the way the wiz protagonist works

[magnuficent76]

🖊 For Luis!!!!

THIS FOOL !

Luis is a titan reborn from the Abyssal Influence, or more succinctly, the Void, after being unjustly killed in battle. The sheer hatred and rage that burnt within his soul brought him back, but his cold body was no longer the same.

This guy's been living on spite and hate for as long as he can remember. He is literally petty enough to bring himself back to life several times just to rub it in God's face. He's immortal and nigh indestructible, living through the most awful shit you've ever seen and just kinda walking it off while dusting his hands with a smirk on his face. He doesn't even care or anything, if you are in his way he has no problem in just getting rid of you. Its only in your hands to decide if it'll be the easy or hard way.

...Unfortunately for him however, he is also Extremely, Horribly, Terribly, DISGUSTINGLY attached to every single one of his friends, and that kinda the only thing keeping him from going apeshit again. He wants to be a cool and edgy lone wolf sooo bad but wolves are extremely social animals and if he doesn't have his Found Family he gets Sad and Cries For 500 years.

He has been having a slowburn enemies to lovers with someone for like 3 million years because they're both Genuinely That stupid, and now instead of talking to them and being direct about it he just kinda hangs out in their house and dream about kissing them. He would rather die a terrible gruesome death hundreds of times than actually address his emotions if I'm being honest. And that's why I love 'im.

Very outwardly angry person with everything as a defense mechanism when things are unfamiliar or out of his control. Has a desperate need for control over everything, so he digs in his claws and sinks his teeth in whatever he has, and hopes that it never leaves him. It slips away all the same unfortunately, but at least he tried !

Lookit. Him

He's such a little freak honestly I love his weird ass. He has a hole in his chest and its just a mini portal to the shadow realm.

[urlocalterrorist]

Why aren't you scared of me?

Assassin!Reader x Tanjiro

Reader's pronounce: female

(Y/n) is part of team that calls themselves the "light foxes". They promised to the people of their country that they will punish every criminal on earth, for the name for their God. But all they do is condemns and suspects kids, man and women, for crimes they never did. After that they kill them. In front of the sun. (Y/n) had enough. She can't see the inosent peoples dying faces anymore. So she turn against her own kind. She is no longer a light fox. No, no, she is the shadow, that drowns the light, the wolf that kills the foxes. It's been exactly 3 years she killed everyone of them. And now she wonders the land of Japan. Hunting down demons fun. She is almost at the point to became a hashira herself. But would she be able to keep herself under control?

Warning

This series will contain: Violence, Gore, dark themes, Reader has blood lust, Reader has no control over herself, Psycho/Yandere like behavior, Stalking

If you're uncomfortable or sensitive any of them above, please search for a nother blog or read this series with your own risk. You've been warned.

Editing T-cat is here

Pls give me some sorts of ideas or some motivation pls im starting to run out of it T^T

Editing T-cat is out

Chapter 2

It was a rainy night when you went to find does kids.

When you were little your 'mother' was the one who used to tell you when it's raining, God is crying out His eyes for us, so we can live in this cruel world we call 'Home'.

"Shadow breathing, 11th form: Sun Set Dream." you wisperd as you ran into the shadows and never been seen again. This form makes you dissappear in the shadows, making stalking, suprise attacks and getting aways a lot more easier.

As you walk around the vilage still in the shadows, you can feel something enter your aurora. You turn to look and there it was. It was invisible, but you can see it. Thanks to all the training you've been through.

"Shadow breathing, 2nd form: wraith's claws" you wsipered again and even before the demon could react you alread cut down it's legs and arms as pinned it to the ground with your kattana.

"Where are the kids?" you asked as you feel a nother demon enter your aurora. "Shadow breathing, 3rd form: drowning light" just like at the Final Selection, the demons head fall to the ground along it's body. The one in front of you still had its head yet.

"So? Don't make me repeat what i said." you threathend as the demon wimpered beneath you. "T-They are ali-"

"Liar. "

"I'm telling you the tru-"

"Liar. "

You say before you lift your hands up with your kattana in it "What! Two of them is alive!" you can sense, it's telling the truth. "where are they?"

"Nearby the village in a cave"

"Shadow breathing, 4th form: Reaper's Scythe" you wispered as the demons head was no longer at it's place. You then thanked as you searched the entrance of the cave.

As you arrive to the cave you can feel the appearance of a small figure. "Hello?" you called out, but you only hear your voice echoing. You walked in, you could fell the boys moving even just a little. The only thing you could feel other than the boys are the amount of little kids bones and a fresh one.

You know the kids are alive because you can't feel any more fresh dead bodies around you, then you hear it a little movement of the little boys. You turned around and then spoke "you don't have to hide, i am not here to hurt you twi."

You can kinda see one of the boy peeking out of his hiding spot, as you continue "it's okay i am not a demon. It's already gone, it's safe to came out." Slowly but surely the boys came out and ran into your arms. Flashbacks ran trough your head as you finally remembered the 5 kid you managed to safe. Only 5.

You could have safe more than that.

It was dawn when you came back with one child in your hands and the other was walking next to you, one of the twins cried into your arms so hard that in the end he drifted into a deep slumber. You went back to the parents house and knock on the door. The door flew open in pure seconds as the mother of the childs bursted out crying when she saw her childs.

The father take the kid from you as you could hear them mumber 'thank you'. "Where? Where is Michio?" asked the Mother, who was now hugging the other boy who walked next to you. You stayed quiet. What should you say? That you were late?

You opened your mouth to speak, although it was completely invisible thanks to your fox mask. "I'm... Sorry for your lost but... The kid died before i could get there.... Your son said that when the demons tooked them away they already-" you thought for a moment. Don't say it in front of the child.

"Took his life away" you say the mother burst out crying. You wnated to comfort the mother in some way but, you don't know how to. So you just... Hugged her along with her child.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" your real mother asked. She was holding you in her arms as the light foxes stood in full white, and with a mask on their faces. "Your child is what we want." Said the tallest one. "She was just born like, 1 hour ago"

"That's why we need her." said a woman with a scar acroos her face. She had jewelrys all over her neck, ears, and fingers. "I'm not ganna give her to you." the woman looked at her right with her green orbs and the fox she stared at looked back at her. She gave a little nood as the fox then nooded and pulled out a karambit.

The other grabed your mother by her arms and then a man taked you away from her arms. "What are you doing?" she asked, panic made her voice shaking. She tried to fight bacl and not let them take you away from her, but the tables turned fast when the fox with the karambit staped it in your mother skull.

She died instantly, and slowly fell to the ground. Then the cries of a baby was heard. Your cries. The fox that took you away from your now-dead mother passed you to the woman with the scar. Nether you, or the band that killed your mother that day, was seen again.

"SOUTH WEST! SOUTH WEST! YOUR NEXT MISSION TAKE PLACE AT SOUTH WEST!" Your crow 'shouts' at you. You just taked a nice little nap from yesterday. You could hardly go to sleep without nightmares. Taked your weapons and ran to the next location. When you arrived, you saw a house and of course, you stepped inside.

When you did so, the room you were in changed several times then it randomly stopped. In case you draw your kattana out and started to walk to room to room. When you walked in a room, you found a man covered in blood. He got week in the knees, and then started to beg you quietly almost wispering but you could still hear him.

You then heared a sound and landed the man a hand. He then accepted and you helped him on his feet. A demon then appeared, and you were just about to attack the demon, you but your kattana back to it's place and pull out your bow "Shadow breathing" you begin to slowly an pull an arrow out of it's case, "9th form:" you then put the end of the arrow to the thread of the bow, and begin to pull them arrow backwards, and targeting the demon's head.

"Sniper."

But before you could release the arrow the guy behind you begin to scream when he saw a nother demon making you miss the target, he then tried to run away and inthe process, he flew out of the balcony of the house.

You cursed to yourslef, you don't have enugh time to make a nother attack, you can't even save the guy. Even if you wanted to. The only option is stealth and you know it. "Shadow breathing, 12th fro-" you didn't watched out. Random claws apeared and thanks to your good reflexes, it left a huge wound across your chest.

"12th form: Sunrise Pictures" The demons never seen you again. You ran into one of the rooms and your stealth was already gone. Your lucky, you didn't got a very deep wound. But you still tried to catch your breath. You groaned as you tried to get rid of the uniform, so you could tret your wounds.

You finally were able to get a good look on your wounds. Though you didn't have any medical supplies, you tried your best to stop the bleeding.

Finally it's finished..

You thought to yourself as you but your uniform back on. You were just aboutto lay back against the wall and let out a deep sigh, when suddenly the rooms changed, at the soundof the drums. Someone's here. You have to get up. You leand forward, as you did you almost fell, so you used your hands for support.

You slowly but surely made yourself to stand up. You can't use your kattana now in this condition. So you taked your bow out again, and this time you made sure to have an arrow against the thread. As you get up, you made your way to the door, and slide it open.

You seeked for some kind of human being to protect, or the other way around. You made sure to crouch and always be alert where are you going. "Big brother, Big brother!" that's what you hear in the end of the hall. You slowly made your way to the sound and as without hasitason you pulled the thread of the bow, getting your breathing style ready fro a nother attack.

You then slided out of your hiding spot, standing still as you amed your bow at a... Familiar face. The redhead from the final selection you saved. You didn't even realize you were holding your breath before you raised your bow down as the redheaded looked at you.

He had pretty wine eyes, reflecting kindness out of his gaze, dark red hair, and a scar with it. He weared earings, hanafuda earings. "who are you?" his kind voice spoke. You didn't answered first you gaze wandered to the two most likely siblings, then spoke "I'll tell you if we came out of this place alive."

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[tenniskingssenerio]

Just watch the Mandela catalogue again and got the idea... What if ryoma had a alternate s/o. Like and Alternate thats is us but still love him as much as us. Sort of like this whole thing

Not gonna lie, I made our tennis king a flirt at first (kinda). lots of love and fluff.

You didn't belong here. You knew your mission, your goal, your hunger. You walked in the shadows within the abandoned halls of the Ultimate Academy, stalking and waiting like a animal after its prey.

Your black eyes spotted him. A short man who was all alone, carrying a tennis racket bag.

"Geez. How the hell was I able to get lost in this school.", he said pulling down his cap down as you crept behind him. And whispered

"It could be worse... You could be stuck in the past... Again..."

Watch him whip around with speed shocked you, but you remained in the shadows. You smile eliminating with no source of light in sight.

"don't you want companionship? Security?" You asked as you stepped out of the shadows. Your eyes were black chasms and white iris'.

He froze with a blush as he saw your figure your eyes and smile. Out of everything, there was no fear. The he was did something unexpected.

"What else are you offerin~", he said with a smile, a wink, and finger guns.

"Huh..", you said as you tilt your head.

"Ryoma Hoshi. But you can call me yours~", he said with confidence that mad you blush madly.

"What- What's happened? Why do I feel so warm? IM NOT EVEN IN MY REAL FORM" You thought as you attempted to cover your face.

You never thought you would see the day that you would have gotten a sutor instead of a meal.

HEADCANON TIME

🎾Hoshi is not scared of you. Infact he is intrigued. He KNOWS what you are.

🎾He loves to admire you and how you move through the shadows.

🎾 You know he can protect himself but you make sure no other Alternatives get to him.

🎾CUDDLES! CUDDLES FOR ALL! NEITHER OF YOU HAD FELT THAT IN A LONG TIME. Especially when you jump from the shadows and completely wrap around him.

🎾You like how firm his hands are and he likes how soft your's is. No fetish but admiration.

🎾Expect so many flirts and compliments from him.

🎾 Tell him all about your kind. Your mans ain't scared. Plus he loves hearing you talk

🎾Ryoma can't ignore the sparkle in your dead eyes as he talks about his tennis days with you.

🎾He will ONLY play tennis you. It only ends in stale mates because for each other's abilities.

🎾 GOOD GAWD YOU TWO ARE INSEPARABLE💖 dates would consist in quiet times outside. You sitting in the shadows while he is sitting in the sun. Holding hands together, alone and quiet.

SADNESS AND COMFORT ALERT

🎾When you discover his changed demeanor, you find his motive. You destroy it with ease and angry tears you look for Ryoma, knowing what will happen.

🎾When you find him in his lab, he feels your presents and and notices the monopad ripped in too. He loves you but God are you scary.

🎾He tells you that someone (or something ) like you deserves someone more stable. That he is nothing but a husk.

🎾This makes you angrier. You remind him that what he did, others could only dream of. That he unknowing saved thousands or even millions from what he had done. Murder is wrong but you think he was a wonderful person.

🎾"you will not be like me...Ryoma Hoshi." "You are going to live and fight."

🎾He notices the stained tears on your cold face, despite the fury you felt within your body.

🎾"I want you to..to.." you began to stutter as you felt weak at the knees. Hiccuping and desperately willing the giant tears from your eyes.

🎾Hoshi was astonished by how you acted. He thought no one would ever care for a murderer but he didn't know what you were. Either way he felt guilty again but this time it was for the fear that consumed you.

🎾You told him how you became what you were. Even admitting how you wished to be human again. The madness that created you, also caused you so much dread. Being with him made you feel normal again. You finally said you loved him and wished to protect him. Wheather the world was ruined or not.

🎾 Hoshi said nothing but hugged you felt a wet spot on your shoulder. You two clinged to eachother as if it was your last hours together. Luckily it wasn't and you two walk back to the dorms to bed.

🎾you didn't need to sleep you just lay beside him and watch lovingly.

🎾As a new day begins, you especially target Monokuma and his kids.

🎾Except monodam. You notice how he tries to fallow you in the shadows but fails. Looking at you and Ryoma as parents.

🎾you do get hungry so you target another random student.

❤️FINALLY SOME SMOOCHING.

🎾You really don't know how to kiss. What purpose would you have. So when ask him what is kissing... You don't regret it. his lips were warm and soft leaving you speechless and frozen. You're addicted and hungry for something new❤️

[kashimos-hajime]

no regrets (8/8) | r.b.

summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.

WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k

a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh 

masterlist

crossposted on ao3 x

Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.

I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.

What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.

You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.

Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care. 

I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.

Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.

im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I

Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.

I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.

Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.

I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up. 

Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time. 

I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that. 

wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.

Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.

Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.

My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.

I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but 

With love,

Rienr

You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.

You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.

They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.

“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.

“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms. 

“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”

“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”

“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”

Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.

When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.

You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.

Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone. 

“For your services to the Survey Corps.”

There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.

“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile. 

The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.

.

Distantly, he remembers flashes. 

Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.

How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.

He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.

How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.

When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.

“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”

Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted. 

Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.

Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.

The ring. You’re wearing it. You…

For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.

“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.

“So are you.” 

And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing. 

Maybe they are.

He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.

Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.

You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”

Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know.” Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”

Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”

Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows. 

“Okay.”

When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it? 

It has to be. 

You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.

But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality. 

The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him. 

He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing. 

Why him?

As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.

“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”

“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”

“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”

And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.

Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.

Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.

Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.

And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.

“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”

The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.

“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”

And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.

.

Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.

There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up. 

Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.

Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks. 

For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.

Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.

.

Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field. 

It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.

Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.

He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.

“Eren… where are we?”

“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”

A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.

“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”

His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.

And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”

Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.

 Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.

“Marco! Sasha!”

Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.

He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—

“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.

Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop. 

Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—

You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.

Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.

He’s gone.

A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.

“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.

Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.” 

His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.

Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you. 

“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”

Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything. 

You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.

He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.

It’s over.

The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.

Just like he promised.

You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.

[THREE YEARS LATER]

Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing. 

Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner. 

How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.

And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.

Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.

But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.

Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach. 

Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.

Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.

Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.

“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.” He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years. 

“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.

A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”

“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.

“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.

“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”

“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.

“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.

Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.

Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.

“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise. 

“To protect the both of us,” you explain.

“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”

You nod. “Listen to Levi.” 

“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”

This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.

As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.

And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.

“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.

So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.

Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.

Hope for the future, and all that.

She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.

“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”

“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”

“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”

You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.

Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.

“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.” 

Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off. 

You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.

If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.

You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.

Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.

“You guys okay?”

“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you. 

“I think it’s charming.”

She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head. 

“Soon may the Wellerman come…”

A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.

Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.

Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.

She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.

You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.

[simpsiren]

The love potion;

lee jeno x reader

inspired by: Call me— Rainlord, Keshi

description. I got to find out one day that a group of students from my college owned a café nearby campus. And it just so happened that Jaehyun and I were able to get a special invite to be the first few to come before they officially open. One boy caught my eye, Lee Jeno. He only ever grasped my attention. But how was I able to be completely deep in love with him after just a few visits? And that is when the name of this story comes into play.

genre. fluff, angst, love potion type of thing

word count. 24.6k~

warnings. cursing i guess and dreamies almost being sent to jail and VERY brief mention of rape im sorry cnwsdnif

a/n. this is part of the playlist series! click here to check out ffs written by the other authors part of the playlist series <3

“You really think I got time for that?” I said yet again. “It won’t be long! You don’t seem to have a lot of workload today!” Jaehyun protested for the millionth time. It felt like we have been exchanging the same sentences for a whole hour now. I didn’t know why Jaehyun wanted to go to this new café so much. All I knew was the fact that it was owned by a group of students from our college. I would have barely knew them. Better yet, complete strangers. But I guess Jaehyun had a connection, seeing as how he’s been pestering me about this for a week now.

“What are they to you that you’re so desperate to visit?” I questioned, taking a bite of my sandwich as I looked away from Jaehyun to see the clear bright sky painted with blue and white. “Firstly, I know all of them since I did take care of them during their freshmen year.” When Jaehyun explained his first point, I instantly remembered the time I was in freshmen year. And Jaehyun indeed took a few students under his wing for a few months. And though I was assigned to another senior, Jaehyun was always around to check up on me. That’s what got me to be his friend today. “And secondly, they gave me a special invite for me to head there before they officially open.”

I quirked an eyebrow in a questioning manner. “So we get free food and drinks?” Jaehyun’s frown turned into a wide smirk almost instantly. He knew me. “Of course we do.” Jaehyun said with a sly tone. I was already settled on accepting his offer right then and there. I mean, who wouldn’t accept free food? Jaehyun knew I was the type to take up any offer than was free of charge, no money required. He knew I was a cheapskate. “You’re tempted now, aren’t you?” Jaehyun whispered, bringing his face close to mine to examine my every feature. The wary look in my eyes, the smile that unconsciously formed on my lips, the slight blush at the thought of free food.

“I hate you.” I finished my last bite of sandwich and stood up from the bench, grabbing my bag and slinging it onto one shoulder and stomping away in exasperation. “See you tomorrow!” Jaehyun shouted, a loud chuckle following after with it slowly drowned out to nothing as I made my way back to my dorms. When I got back, I threw my bag onto my study table and plopped onto my bed. For some reason, today felt exhausting. And I didn’t know what made it like that. I guess I could blame my lecturer, his monotonous voice was sending the class to sleep. But I was then reminded of the other reason when my stomach grumbled. I glanced down to my stomach and placed a hand there, feeling it tighten as its need for food and replenishment grew.

I groaned as I pushed myself out of bed and went for the kitchen. I frowned deeply at the remembrance that I had no food in my kitchen. I wasn’t big of a cook, and I was honestly too lazy to even do so. There weren’t any snacks I could eat for the time being either. “Am I this broke?” I asked myself, leaning against the kitchen counter and resting my chin on the palm of my hand. I took out my phone and placed it on the table. It was then that I remembered about Jaehyun’s request to the café. “When even is it?” I whispered, eyebrows knitting together as I went ahead to text Jaehyun for the details. He replied me in a matter of seconds, saying that it’s tomorrow but we were able to go whenever we liked for this whole week.

I pressed the call button on Jaehyun’s contact, his voice going into a monotonous “What?” the moment he picked up. “You’re free right now, right?” I asked. Jaehyun hummed. “Meet me at the main building in an hour.” Before Jaehyun could even give a response, I ended the call, knowing he would be there waiting for me regardless. I absentmindedly had a smile on my face with the thought of outdoor food. But my expression went to a quizzical one when I went to the college’s Twitter to see if there were any updates on this café situation. “Seven students from different departments... opening a café in a month’s time.” The tweet gave basic details, but they didn’t even state who exactly were the seven.

Either way, I skipped my way to my room. I didn’t know what kind of food or drinks they’d sell. But at this point, all I really cared about was the food to satisfy my desperate stomach. And hey, if it tastes good, I guess there wouldn’t be any harm to get myself out of the drowning piles of assignments to enjoy an hour or so outdoors. A new scenery to admire. That I hoped wouldn’t be a wasted of time. I got there just slightly over an hour, seeing as how my shower time increased when I had to wash and dry my hair from sweating all day in the burning heat.

Jaehyun was there and he already began walking when I have yet to even reach. I took bigger steps and eventually had to run a little to catch up to his fast pace. “Can you slow down?” I breathed, panting ever so slightly as I continued to match Jaehyun’s long strides down the pathway out of campus. “Well they just texted me saying to hurry because they miss me.” Jaehyun said, a soft smile appearing on his lips and he glanced down to check his phone. I bobbed my shoulders and nodded my head in understanding. “I never knew you were so close to them. You never told me.” Jaehyun reciprocated my shrug, a blasé, god-could-care sort of way. “We just seemingly grew closer I guess.” He answered noncommittally.

Jaehyun simply continued walking when we were out of campus, and I simply followed. And to my surprise, the café wasn’t far at all. In fact, it took us merely ten minutes to reach. However, the place was seemingly hidden. It was in a line of other shops that made the café look invisible. You had to go through two shops and take a staircase up to the second floor. Anyone would have passed it if they didn’t see the café’s sign right beside the staircase. The logo looked simple— the words Café 7 Dream written in caps in a circle, with an animated character in between. The colours were vibrant yet it would be shadowed by the other shops.

I followed Jaehyun up the short flight of stairs. Once he was at the top, he turned to the right and pushed open a glass door. I followed suit. I couldn’t help but have my eyes wide opened when I entered. I initially wanted to refrain myself from looking too surprised, but you could say mine was covered when Jaehyun gasped loudly and had his jaw drop to the floor, his mouth hanging open. I only had Jaehyun’s attention when he shouted, “Yo this looks awesome!” I turned my head from the wall length window that gave the perfect view of the beautiful neighbourhood. In truth, I was glad to go to a college with this much beauty surrounding it. I wasn’t met with old rotting buildings and the sights of your average neighbourhood. Mine was, you could say upgraded. Urbanised. Everything was polished and new. And the huge window second floor café gave just the view to oversee it all. It was certainly a breath of fresh air.

As for the aesthetics of the café, it was simply all white. Not a lot to offer, but I liked the simplicity. The tables and stools were lower than what I’d expected. But there were proper tables and chairs right at the corner of the café, with the counter and workspace just a few feet beside it. It was Jaehyun’s voice that had my attention on him for a split second before I immediately adverted my gaze to the seven men lined up behind the counter. I widened my eyes further to the point where I was afraid that they could fall out of my eye sockets.

They were gorgeous, beautiful. I have seen them before. Only in freshmen year. It looked like they were now in their glow up game. Their hairs were dyed in a wide variety of colours, but it somehow looks unified. It captured all the sunlight that came through the window, as if wanting to keep it for themselves and have it shine its light only on them. I could tell all their features from where I was standing, which was quite far since I was standing by the window. Their features were prominent and their faces were perfectly structured. I seriously wondered why I’ve never noticed them till now. Part of reason could have been that I’ve never seen them since freshmen year when they’ve never caught my eye. But the other reason could have been that I’ve never heard any rumours about them anywhere.

Usually people would talk about such things, boys. But I guess I was never around to hear them, or they never spread to begin with. Maybe they had their identities hidden for some reason. Because I was really questioning why I’ve never seen such beauty and good looking people all in one room for so long. It must have slipped my mind that I had my head turned to them when one of them shouted, “Hey there!” I blinked my eyes and shook my head quickly to clear slate of their attractiveness. My mouth remained agape still as I lifted up a hand and waved back at the light brown haired guy who had a cute baby face, still good looking.

I quickly rushed to stand beside Jaehyun, forcing myself to smile as if I had not been staring at them for a whole minute. “Hey.” I waved back. Jaehyun took a step forward and faced me, a hand gesturing out to the guy standing at the end of the line. “So this is Renjun, Mark, Haechan, Jisung, Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin.” In their single file, I trailed my eyes along each of them, our eyes meeting very briefly and I felt my breath catching in my throat for a second each time as I wished to look at them longer but refrained myself from doing so. I forced out a short laugh and brought a hand up to rub the back of my neck, which was now sweaty against my palm. Was I this nervous to see men? I guess I was. I never seen them in way too long of a time. Jaehyun was the only ever man I admired for his looks and brains.

They all smiled and I felt like wanting to swoon and have Jaehyun catch me right then and there. Unfortunately, that could only stay in my imagination. I kept my posture straight, nothing more than a kind smile and attentive eyes on them. Jaehyun now looked at me after introducing all seven of them. “Let’s sit down.” Jaehyun glanced back at them and grinned widely, with them reciprocating it immediately with a downshift of their heads while a few bowed and went back to do their separate duties. We decided to sit at the corner where the tables and chairs were. I rushed for my seat and sat down, eagerly waiting for Jaehyun do to the same. And the moment he did so, I leaned in with shoulders up high and eyes full of intent. “You never told me all your juniors are attractive.” I whispered in an angry tone.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to any of them?” My emphasis on the word or the whole question itself had Jaehyun raising both his eyebrows and scoffing with much amusement. “Who was it that said they wouldn’t want a lover to distract her from doing college and concentrate fully on herself for individual growth?” Jaehyun taunted, batting his eyelids at me as I vividly remembered myself making that promise at the very start and was able to uphold it. Well, until now. “Get one of them to marry me.” I fired back, smacking Jaehyun’s arm so hard that it made him wince. But I knew he was exaggerating it only the tiniest bit. I couldn’t help myself from stealing glances at them every second.

Jaehyun jerked his elbow against mine to get hmy attention, which he only received after a long moment. “Seriously?” Jaehyun muttered. I grinned till my eyes formed a thin line and I nodded. “Seriously.” The two of us instantly grew quiet when one of them, which I could remembered to be Haechan came to us through the swinging door of the workplace with a what I assumed to be a menu in hand. “Glad to be at you service. I’m Haechan, and here’s the menu.” He placed a big card on the table and slide it to the center. Jaehyun had his eyes on Haechan the whole time till he travelled down and made eye contact with the paper on a small clipboard in his hand. “Do we fill that up?” He asked.

Haechan furiously shook his head. “Oh no don’t worry I’ll have it filled up for you guys.” Haechan looked to each of us and gave a smile. His extremely amicable tone and expression could already make me tell that he was a bright person indeed. Like sunshine. “I’ll have a Fullsun Ade. And a random mini cake.” Haechan was quick to take it down and adverted his attention to me, which made my heart skip a beat. “Um I guess I’ll take the Jeno Latte and random cookie sand?” My voice accidentally let it out as a question but Haechan simply took it down and nodded his head with affirmation. “Alright please wait awhile and we’ll have it ready.”

“You don’t have to be this formal with me, Haechan.” Jaehyun pointed just when Haechan spun around. He turned back and blinked his eyes twice. “But I’m putting on a good impression for our actual first customer.” Haehan jerked his head in my direction and my eyes widened just a fraction as he flashed me a smile yet again. He hummed and downshifted his head before sliding himself out and heading back to the workplace and telling the rest to get to work. I pursed my lips and raised both my eyebrows as I watched his back, my eyes travelling from one guy to the other. “God stop you look weird.” Jaehyun said with an annoyed tone, a feign exasperated huff leaving his lips. I giggled and placed my pointer finger to my lips. “Sh.” I whispered ever so softly and gave a playful wink to which Jaehyun responded with a grimace and looked out to the scenery.

Meanwhile, I had my eyes on them. Each of them were doing their jobs, but at the same time being playful like kids. Never ending silent giggles and bickering could be heard the whole time. My attention would go off them briefly to take a glance at the window’s view, and then I was back to admire a different kind. However, one stood out to me. The one in the deepest end of the workplace. Basically the corner. If I remembered correctly, he’s Jeno. He seemed to be the only one that was concentrated on making the drink, his drink. He occasionally responded to the chaos of his friends, but he was mostly focused with the help of the guy Jaemin beside him and having small talks.

His bright blonde hair really stood out to me. And his side profile was nevertheless breathtaking. Don’t get me wrong, all of them were good looking and any girl would have their breath taken away if any of them were even miles away. But something about him... hit different. His hands worked gracefully and he seemed to have a delicate touch. He kept smiling to himself, which I found to be adorable. He was probably reacting when overhearing his friends but didn’t want to take his attention fully off the task at hand. For some reason, he was the one that stood out to me the most. “Jaehyun’s order is here!” Haechan shouted, waving an arm up in the air with no specific direction as to who he was waving at.

“Oi Canada deliver it.” Haechan jerked his head to the counter where it had Jaehyun’s drink. But I saw that the mini cake was still on the cake stand. Mark frowned and turned to him. “I’m not even done with the cake!” Mark retorted, proceeding to quickly add final touches of sweets and other small goods as decoration before sliding it off the cake stand and making its way into a plate that Renjun prepared. Mark hustled out of the workplace and held the plate on one hand and drink on the other. In all honesty, the distance between the workplace and the table were so short, I could take a few steps and take it myself. But I guess they wanted to provide their hest service possible, so I decided to stay put.

Mark had dark blue hair, which suited him really well. His face was immensely stunning and had the face of a foreigner. He did come from Canada after all, I assumed. “Thank for coming again, Jaehyun. We really appreciate it.” Jaehyun pulled the plate and drink that Mark placed down, glancing at it before looking up to Mark with happy eyes and a bright smile. “Of course.” He simply said and Mark left us to be while they made my order. Out of habit, I pulled the drink in front of me, begging to examine it. It looked very cute. It had a sticker of a sun which I guess was Haechan’s character. The drink was a beautiful gradient of yellow to semi translucent and it had leaves and a slide of lemon. What I found most appealing was the finishing touch of a heart shaped pink straw.

Jaehyun didn’t mind me taking his drink. It had been something I’ve always done, taking his food whenever mine has yet to come. He grew to get used to it, so he didn’t even bother. I took a sip and hummed in delight the moment the liquid hit my tongue and my tastebuds were satisfied with a wave of deliciousness. It was refreshing as the drink went down my throat. My couldn’t help but have my eyes widen ever so slightly. “Holy shit.” I muttered, leaning in to take another sip. Just while I had my eyes closed and humming again dreamily, Jaehyun slides the drinks out of my reach and instantly dipped down to have his taste. Jaehyun nodded in approval within seconds. “This is actually good.” I chuckled and nodded my head as well in agreement.

My attention then turned to the cake. With eyes that could replicate the ones with big stars in anime shows, I brought close to me and giggled at the decoration on top of the cake. It looked good, but it seemed like a five year old was the one that decorated it. I could tell Mark was trying to make it ass appealing as possible, but the few slips of mistake made me smile to myself just a little at his clumsiness. I grabbed a fork and dig in, the pitch of my hum going high as I chewed as let myself sink into the taste like a bath. Jaehyun snatched the fork out of my hand and took a bite for himself. He did a one on one replication of my reaction. “It’s been so long since I’ve tasted something this good.”

“Tell me about it.” I moaned out after finishing my bite and swallowing it down. I smacked my lips and turned my attention to the guys. My eyes absentmindedly made its way to Jeno, again silently preparing the Jeno Latte while admiring the noises from his friends. I licked my lips, turning to Jaehyun’s drink to steal another sip. I only ordered latte for the sole purpose of hoping it’ll help me stay up late tonight to study. The random cookies was just something I picked out for the fun of it. The wait wasn’t long at all and now Jisung was the one that came to serve me my food. “Thanks.” I muttered, flashing a kind smile. His giggled softly and shyly went away. He really seemed like the kid and youngest among all of them, seeing how he keeps getting targetted by the rest but is showered with love the next moment.

The Jeno Latte and cookies I got was just as appetising as the food that Jaehyun got so I went in for a taste instantly. I wasn’t surprise to find out that it tasted good as well. Jaehyun and I ate silently for awhile, talking about how college is going. I never understood how Jaehyun could be so smart and yet be able to have tons of fun off campus. I thought being a law major would take up hours of your free time. “Time management.” Jaehyun always reminded me. But that was something I just could never grasp. I’d either get too lazy, or be too uptight that I solely focus on my studies that I lose track of everything else in the world. I’m currently in the phase of the latter, until now.

Jaehyun was talking to me when my eyes slowly trailed off his attention and to the guys, who seemed to be sitting on the tables and stools not far away from where we were. I guess it was their break time. They were talking loudly and laughter spread its noise around the café in no time. A soft smile left my lips as I somehow felt that they liven up the atmosphere so much. Even if it wasn’t for me. It’s nice to hear it. I was left with finishing my drink, and with every sip I’d think about how Jeno made it. I shocked myself whenever Jeno popped into my mind. What was it about him that had my mind so wrapped up about?

“Earth to _____? You there?” I came zinging back to reality when I heard Jaehyun talking. “Huh?” I asked, shaking my head to shake the thoughts away. “You know... I could help you ask them for their numbers.” I widened my eyes and shook my head even more furiously than before. “What? No, it’s fine.” I leaned forward and rest my chin on the palm of my hand, my head slowly turning back to the direction of the guys. They were in their own little world, a carefree atmosphere that give zero notice for the world. I smiled softly again.

“Seems like suddenly I have a much better view in this neighbourhood that I thought was getting boring.”

—I wanna see her again. Maybe I'll just be a friend. Or a lover to lean on.

Jeno couldn’t help but finally try to breathe normally the moment she and Jaehyun left the café. It’s as if her presence held his breath for the longest time. But for some reason, he wasn’t suffering for one second the whole way. “Jeno, are you okay?” Haechan’s words suddenly rang through his ears and he shot his head to him. It was then that he realised he was probably showing too much, to the point where it seemed like he was panting. “I’m fine.”

Renjun chuckled beside him, resting his arm on his shoulder and leaning in close to Jeno’s face. He grimaced at the sight and back his body away a few inches. “The fuck is wrong with you?” Jeno asked as the wide smirk on Renjun’s face creepily appeared. “It’s so obvious you were shaken up by that girl. You know she’s been staring at us. I think specifically you.” As much as Jeno wanted to deny it, it was indeed true. From the moment she stepped in, Jeno already had his eyes on her. And he could tell she felt them drilling into her back, seeing how she was staring at him as well. Jeno frowned a little. “Maybe not.” He thought. She seemed to be head over heels for all seven of them.

Jeno liked the way she smiled. The way she loved looking at the view the café had through the window. The way she took time to register their names and faces while Jaehyun introduced them. She stared at all of us, examining their features and what made them unique. He liked how she carelessly took Jaehyun’s food the moment it arrived first, as if she didn’t care about how Jaehyun react. She was extremely pretty too. Jeno was instantly drawn into her looks and it seemed like all the light from the world had dimmed itself down just to give focus onto her, and her only. You could say Jeno experienced love at first sight.

“I swear I could see him trying not to look at her every second.” Jisung added on, only making Jeno roll his eyes. “So?” Jeno lashed out, twirling his body around on the stool to stand up and fold his arms, walking where? He himself didn’t know, so he simply stood there awkwardly and turned around to face them. “So you should talk to her the next time she comes.” Jaemin, Jeno’s closest friend among all of them lets out, crossing one leg over the other with relaxation. Jeno huffed silently and glanced down to his feet, slowly shaking his head. “I don’t want to.” He said. “Don’t tell me it’s because of what happened last year, Jeno...” Mark looked up to Jeno with worried eyes. Of course it’s because of that.

It’s been long since Jeno fell in love. He never had his eyes on anyone after that one incident of the girl he liked for so long turning against him and pouring him with humiliation for a whole year during high school. That incident left a permanent scar on Jeno’s heart, one that he knew he could never mend. Everything was still vividly etched into his memory. And no matter how deep Jeno buried them, some nights it’ll resurface, and send him down the rabbit hole of the darkest period of his life. But that was when he met his friends. This group of friends. And as if fate had fallen on him, they all went to the same college. His happiness and light was solely on them, and he’d give his all for the six. And it’s because of his love for their friendship that he was able to forget about wanting a significant other, he felt that he didn’t need one.

Until he saw her.

“If she comes back.” Jeno emphasised the first one with quick speed and exaggeration. He could only hope that fate would shine some light on him again. Jeno smacked his lips and looked up from the floor, forcing a tapped-up smile as if the thought of not being able to see her again filled up in his chest but he needed to press it down. “Oh come on, she will. Didn’t you see how she kept staring at us? She’ll come just to look at our faces.” Renjun commented. “I wish it was just me.” Jeno replied in his mind mentally, but all he was able to let out was, “Sure, I guess.” With a careless shrug. “Hm but why haven’t we seen on campus before?” Jisung asked in a hushed tone, his hand scratching his head unconsciously.

Jisung was right though. Jeno had never seen her. Indeed there were a lot students on campus. But he felt that he was familiar with almost everyone that walked down the hallways. Stranger, acquaintances, classmates. He’d at least recognise their faces. But why hasn’t she come to mind at all? It’s as if she was invisible his entire college life, and she caught Jeno’s attention only now. “Different majors. Different lecture times. Isn’t it obvious?” Renjun replied. The room fell silent, allowing Jeno to sink deeper into his thoughts. He repeated what Renjun said in his head. It could’ve been true. But most students would hang out on campus before or after lectures for hours on end, simply lounging around and doing nothing but just having their presence there. Was she the type to go straight back to the dorms after lecture?

More thinking resulted in more questions about her. Questions that Jeno wished he’d know the answers to. But then again, he couldn’t expect to know much. It was the first time they met, the first time they laid their eyes on each other. Nothing was certain, and everything felt unknown. One thing’s for sure. Jeno certainly want to see her again soon.

—I'm catching the pieces again. Of a heart that would like to pretend. That it isn't bleeding.

I just came out of lecture. My feet was dragging against the rough stone floor with my back hunched over and my face bored. I was barely able to get any sleep last night, doing draft after draft after draft for my architecture assignment. Although I liked being in the major, sometimes I do contemplate my decisions. Today was no different. My eyes were half open and my mind was solely focus on going back to the dorms, to my bed, wanting to wraps myself up in my fluffy blanket and sleep for ten hours straight.

“Hey, _____?” I heard a voice. It took awhile for my brain to register it, with me groaning softly and humming in question. I lifted my head up to force it to sit right in my neck. I adjusted my vision. And I almost stumbled back. “Taeyong?” This can’t be happening. I’m not dreaming. Lee Taeyong, my ex boyfriend. “Get away from me.” My instincts were at its peak. I was too tired, and I knew my feelings of suppressed anger would begin bubbling up the more I stayed in his presence. I distanced myself away from him slowly and quickly walked forward. I knew him too well. He already had his fingers wrapped around my thin wrist. “I just want a moment.” I heaved a soft sight and forced myself to turn. I was expressionless. I didn’t care about anything he would say next.

“I just... um well...” I could tell he was trying to form up a sentence, but the constant stuttering made it difficult for me to make sense of anything. I huffed and shook my head. Suddenly I was getting a headache and I felt like dropping on the floor to sleep right then and there. “If you don’t have anything to say-” “I miss you, okay? That’s what I wanted to say.” My breathing hitched in my chest. His words longed itself into me, making me freeze in my spot. No, this can’t be happening now. Not right now, when I’m in this state, when my mind is too vulnerable and my whole being was not in its right place. “Taeyong...” I whispered, my voice giving him the reaction to soften his grip on my wrist.

“You know I can’t do this. We can’t do this. And I seriously don’t have the time anymore.” I quickly slid my wrist out of Taeyong’s reach when given the chance. Taeyong’s hand reached out just a fraction, but he pulled it back and rubbed his palm awkwardly on his jeans, glancing away before shakily meeting my eyes. “Why? I’m sorry. You can tell I mean it, right?” I hated how his voice sound so sweet, so sincere. When none of these feelings were even true in the first place. I loved Taeyong, I really did. But he was nothing like how he’s being now. Arrogant, careless, cold. Since when was he this... vulnerable? “No. I’m tired. I can’t do this right now, Taeyong.”

Anger was starting to bubble up in me just as I expected. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, adjusting my bag that was slung on one shoulder and making an attempt to straighten my body. “Don’t come back to me. Just don’t.” I walked past Taeyong. And luckily, he didn’t try to chase after me. I glanced back for a brief moment, and all I saw was him standing there, motionless like all of life has been sucked out of him. “As you should.” I muttered. He’s getting what he deserved. I won’t put up with him any longer. While I walked down the hall, my body grew more heavy than it was before. The headache was getting unbearable and now I was staring to feel the need to eat.

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. One place popped up. The café. I quicken my pace to get there as fast as possible. And by the time I reached the staircase, it was already evening. I climbed up the stairs which little to no energy, my bag bringing the weight of my body down so much I felt like collapsing. I finally made it to the door, pushing it open. My head was hung low, and I made my way to the first seat I saw. I pressed my hands to my head as I leaned into the table to try and suppress my headache. But it was only getting worse with each dreadful second passing by. “Hey, are you okay?” I groaned and lifted my head up with all energy I had, meeting my eyes with the one and only Jeno.

“No I’m not. I feel like dying.” My voice began breaking and I shocked myself with just how weak I was. Did college really made me this bad? Made me stoop this low? “Oh um- hold on. I’ll get you some water.” Jeno went away and I could hear his feet shuffling quickly, coming back with a glass full of water and placing it on the table, my eyes following as he slide it in front of me. “There. Please drink. You look terrible.” Jeno commented, proceeding to take a seat next to me with his hands on his knees and leaning in to examine my current state. I scoffed softly, bringing the cup to my lips and downing half of it and slammed it back down on the table, which surprisingly made Jeno flinch beside me.

“I’d rather get drunk or die.” I mumbled under my breath, but if was loud enough for him to hear. “It’s kind of early to get drunk.” Jeno replied softly, as if not knowing whether my statement was expecting a reply or not. I furrowed my eyebrows and lifted my eyes off the cup of water, seeing how the whole café was coloured in a hue of orange. I turned to the window, my eyes meeting with the sunset sky that was painted with various colours and shades of orange to yellow with spots of pink and red. “Wow.” I let out, the silence of the café got my voice to echo through. Jeno hummed in reply and I turned my attention onto him.

I took time to look at Jeno. His blonde hair was just a tad bit messy. Being up close made me realise that he was ten times more good looking than when I last saw him. His skin was as clear as day with features so perfect you’d hardly find anyone that looked even close to him. His lips where a soft shade of pink and smooth. He was wearing a white shirt underneath the dark blue apron just like last time. But it was only now that I could see the muscles of his arms peeking through his sleeves ever so slightly. “We picked this place specifically just to get that view.” Jeno said, his voice just a whisper as he leaned in closer. Not too close till it was uncomfortable, but I could certainly feel my face about to heat up. “Thoughtful indeed. That’s nice.” I breathed out.

“What are you doing here, if I may ask?” Jeno tilted his head as he asked, and I placed the cup down after finishing the last sip of water. “I just... need something to eat. My body hates me right now and so does my mind if I keep thinking about-” I thought for a second before resuming, not wanting to mention Taeyong’s name out loud or I’d go on a mad rampage. “Well... yeah.” I awkwardly ended. There was no reaction in Jeno’s expression for a moment. But a soft smile began to crack on his lips, which I couldn’t lie, sent butterflies fluttering down in my stomach. “So of all places where you could have a proper meal, you chose here.” Jeno nodded his head like his assumption was correct. And indeed it was. I had to see a prettier and kinder face than Taeyong’s right now. And Jeno was definitely serving it.

“Question though...” I began. Jeno raised his eyebrows in response. “Where’s the rest of your friends?” It’s as if the question lodged right into him because he sat there frozen for a long while, simply staring into my eyes and only blinking twice. I began to wonder that went through his mind that my question had such an impact on him. “They went out to see some baseball game. Which isn’t really my thing.” Jeno exhaled sharply as he rose up from the stool, making his way to the workplace. “Then what is your thing?” I asked, raising my voice slightly higher for him to hear. Jeno turned around, already standing behind the counter. He cupped his hands on the edge and leaned in, his shoulders raising up a little.

“Ice hockey. The guys and I would play on very special occasions.” Jeno clicked his tongue, wanting to move but stopped mid motion to turn back to me. “What can I get you, by the way? I forgot to ask for your order.” I sucked in my lips and sighed, shaking my head and shrugging. “Anything that’ll make me feel better than I do now?” I wasn’t even sure what I wanted. I’d kill to eat anything right now. Jeno chuckled, his low voice shocking me as to how attractive it was. “Coming right up.” He simply said, his attention going off of me and getting to work.

Again I had my eyes on him the whole time, my mind was still fixated on what got me to be drawn into him this much, as if nothing could break my eyes off him. I sighed and let my head drop on the table, wrapping my arms below to serve as a pillow while I shut my eyes to allow them to rest. My headache got a little better, and my thoughts on Taeyong were slowly drifting away as it made space for me to think of Jeno. I might not know him well, but something in me wanted to know him more. His quiet and minimalist aura gave off a mysterious hue, felt as if he’d be hiding something when there actually isn’t. A simple man, is what I got describe him based on my first impressions.

A knock on the table was suddenly heard, but my senses were not shocked by it and I slowly fluttered my eyes open and lifted my head up, my eyes meeting Jeno’s. “Hope this will do.” He whispered, like his voice could disrupt me from my current state of peace. I gulped and sat my straight, stretching my back and cracking my neck. My eyes trailed from his face and to the food that he proceeded to place in front of me. “I honestly didn’t know what you’d like so I got what you ordered last time. I just gave more cookies.” Jeno shrugged, but something underlying in his voice told me there was more thought being put into it than it should be. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing a whole lot more cookies on the plate than before, and the Jeno Latte seemed as appealing. “Thanks.”

I picked the latte off the table and took a sip, relaxation and calmness hitting me the moment the liquid went down my throat. I licked my bottom lip and looked down at the cookies. Placing the cup down, I grabbed a cookie and held it out to him. “Take one.” I said. Jeno stared at me, and I felt like it went on for the longest time. His eyes constantly flickered from me to the cookie, and when I wasn’t getting an answer, I shoved it closer to him, jerking my head. This time, he made no hesitation to reach for the cookie and shove it whole into his mouth. I giggle at the sudden reaction, watching his cheeks puff up like a squirrel’s.

Jeno smiled sheepishly as he ate silently and so did I, switching from the cookies to the drink. The silence wasn’t at all jarring or awkward, rather peaceful and nice. The silence I shared with Jeno was something I have not experienced in a long time. It wasn’t lonely. That was something both of us must’ve felt. “When are you guys officially opening?” I asked as the sudden question popped up in my head. Jeno hummed, glancing up thoughtfully before looking at me. “If I’m being honest, I don’t have an answer. The guys and I are taking it slow. And we only just had one round of stock coming in to try out the menu.” Jeno grew silent for a moment, his eyes narrowed to the table for a second. “Perhaps a month?” Jeno raised his shoulders with question. I nodded, accepting any answer just to hear him talk.

“So I can come here for a month?” I questioned again. This time my question got him to raise an eyebrow just a fraction. “You aren’t coming after we open?” Jeno threw a question back at me and I breathed out a short laugh, smacking my lips. “From the looks of it, you would be getting a ton of customers. I hate places that are crowded and suffocating.” Jeno folded his arms on the table and leaned in, so much so that his elbow was touching mine. “What makes you think we’ll have a lot of customers?” I scoffed, the side of my lips lifting up a little from doing so. I glanced a way for a moment. “A bunch of handsome guys running a café. Who wouldn’t come?” I tilted my head, raising both eyebrows.

“You’re basing the popularity of our café on our looks and not our abilities in making drinks and snacks? I’m hurt indeed.” Jeno nodded his head in feigned affirmation, making me gasp out a laugh and shaking my head vigorously. “No! No! I mean... well.” I bobbed my shoulders. “That’s exactly what you’re implying.” Jeno doted and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “You can’t deny that. I bet you know it yourself.” Jeno moved his lips to one side, again he was nodding and this time he had his eyes on the window. The sun had already fully set and just welcomed the ink black dark sky. “I’m on the humble side of my group of friends. But sure, I’ll believe you.” The fact that he could be in denial of his looks made something stir in my stomach. “What’s your major?” I wondered if that was too quick of a topic change, because I saw Jeno leaning back ever so slightly from the sudden question.

“English major. Why’d you ask?” My mouth formed the shape of an ‘O’. But that was all my face did. Instead I had an expressionless look, boring my eyes into Jeno. “What?” “You talk like an English major.” I said, picking up the last piece of cookie and plopping it into my mouth, downing it with the last sip of latte. “And it’s no wonder I’ve never seen you before.” My voice grew softer with each word, my eyes traling along his face, unintentionally going to his lips. I looked back up instantly, locking my gaze onto him. Jeno was frozen in his spot, seemed like he didn’t know what to do, or say. But after a long pause, he finally let’s out, “Your classes are at night.” I hummed in reply. “And I usually don’t have time to venture around campus like Jaehyun.” The two of us let out faint chuckles. Till my phone rang.

The two of us turned our heads to where my phone was placed, just at the edge of the table. Taeyong’s name was shown on screen, clear and intimidating. “What the fuck?” I got scared to the point I couldn’t pick up my phone. I didn’t lean in to check if my eyes were working right, instead I leaned back. I took in a breath and swallowed the mix of feelings that began bubbling in my throat. “You good? Hey...” Jeno reached his body out to me, his hand placed on my elbow, concerned eyes searching mine. “I-I can’t pick that up.” I shook my head furiously, the vivid memories coming back then and there. My nerves were shocked with a wave of intimidation. My eyes blinked rapidly and even my body was shaking. I felt like collapsing.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Jeno held me with both his hands on my arms, in an attempt to get me to face him. I looked at his face, then stared at his eyes, but the ringing of the phone kept going into my brain. “Sh.” I was breathing heavily but I slowly got lost in Jeno’s soft eyes, and I slowed my pacing. Jeno lets go of one arm and picked up my phone, his eyes still on me. “I’ll answer.” He whispered, like he was careful and gentle with his words, wary of how I’d react. But I nodded. Jeno pressed the answer button, jerking his head to adjust his hair and placing the phone to his hear. “Hey, sorry but may I know why you’re calling?”

I couldn’t make out what Taeyong was saying over the phone, it was faint and indistinguishable. “She’s with me. And she didn’t look good the moment she saw your name on her phone.” Jeno raised an eyebrow, eyes breaking away from mine for a brief moment to the phone but quickly placed it back to his ear. “I don’t think you’ll be hearing from her any longer. Have a nice day.” Jeno ran flicked some strands off his forehead and held the phone in front of him with mo hesitation to end the call. He placed my phone hard on the table, screen faced down. I was scared that the protection screen would have cracked from the impact.

“It’s okay. You’re okay now. Calm down, please.” Please. Why was he saying please? It’s not his fault I was reacting like this. He placed his hand back on my arm and it felt like his fingertips sent an electric shock through my veins and to my whole body. It was quick and light, I flinched from his touch. He must’ve gotten the wrong impression, because he was searching my eyes again, wondering if what he did just now was wrong in any way. I wish I could talk, tell him that I was okay. But I was still in a phase of trauma and pain. I shut my eyes and placed a hand to my forehead, wincing. “You need to do back. I’ll send you home.” “No.” Jeno was about to stand up but I quickly grasped his arm, his eyes trailed to it before looking at me. “What?”

I sighed. “You’re friends should be coming back and expecting you here.” I voice was weak. Jeno dipped down till his eyes level with mine. With a seemingly calm raspy tone he muttered, “How does that matter when you’re in this state?” I had no answer. I mean of course I did, but I wasn’t able to say any of them. U was still at a loss of words. My mind was messed up with so many thing, so many thoughts. My negative feelings were put onto overdrive in that short span of time and I was still feeling burnt out. Jeno lets out a sound and pulled me up to my feet. “Let me get you back to your dorms.” I shook my head vigorously.

“No. I’ll go myself.” Why was I acting like this? Why was I acting so... defensive? Perhaps it was due to the embarrassment of having a mere stranger see me in this state, in a state even I was not able to fully overcome. Or maybe it was due to how Jeno would think of me after watching me go through that. Being crazed over a phone call. I didn’t know what to think. But in the end, all I wanted to do was to shut myself from the world. Wanting to block everyone. “Stop it. You aren’t okay. I’ll take you back. Like it or not.” Jeno’s stand got me frightened by a mere bit. His tone was sharp and it sounded almost like an order, the way the words rolled off his tongue quick and firm. I yield immediately with reluctance. “Fine.”

Jeno had his grip on my arm, immediately taking my bag and slinging it on his other shoulder while we walked out. At this point, the night has already settled in, and the cold air gave my skin a light pinch. It was cold, but bearable. We were silent yet again. I wasn’t sure if it was due to us not having anything to talk about, or maybe Jeno didn’t want to bother or worsen my state any further by making a conversation. I would be thankful if he actually meant it like that. Nothing seemed to ring my ears other than the leaves that rustled underneath our feet with each step and the breeze floating by. The pathway back to the dorms was lit with an orange hue from the street lamps paving the way. I had my eyes closed for half the time. It’s as if I didn’t need to walk with them open, because I felt the want to trust Jeno.

It wasn’t long before we finally made it to my dorm’s room. “Are you okay from here? Need me to help you get settled?” I was surprised at how kind he was being. I didn’t expect anyone of our level of relationship to be this helpful, but I guess he was just that type of person. And I genuinely adored it. “I’m not a baby.” I said, a soft smile forming on my lips. “Go on. Thanks for shutting Taeyong away from me.” I continued. I reached into my bag that was still on his shoulder for my keys. I unlocked the door and gestured him to pass me my bag. “Delete his number. You still have him in your contacts.” Jeno advised. I took one last look at him before nodding and said, “Goodnight.” I shut the door.

The door closed, and Jeno still stood there. He wanted to go in. He wanted to hang out with her just a bit longer. What he encountered about her at the café was weird indeed. But he saw it as a need to help her. Something about that Taeyong guy made her past so bad to the point where she reacted that badly. It made her look... vulnerable. Jeno felt the need to protect her in that very moment. Yet, she was defensive when Jeno wanted to help. She wanted to stand her ground with independence, no matter what shame she felt from showing that side of her. Jeno was quickly spiralling down the rabbit hole of love. Was it admiration? Simple affection? Or was he genuinely liking this girl? He didn’t know the answer, but she certainly had him feeling things he had longed forgotten.

Jeno took his time to walk back to the café. He assumed his friends would be there already. But no one seemed to be ringing his phone so he guessed not. He wanted to prolong the time he was alone, with him trying to define what exactly he felt for her. But disappointment fell on him when he already reached the café. And all he could think about was her beautiful face. “Where the hell were you?” Renjun called out from the tables the moment Jeno placed his foot into the café. “I went for a walk.” Jeno lied. He had to. If he didn’t, he’d be bombarded with questions by all of them and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that right now. “That’s a shame. The games was so fun!” Jisung exclaimed. It’s as if Jeno could see the games flashing through Jisung’s eyes as he dreamily stared into space.

“I want to play ice hockey.” Jeno said with a frown. They have yet to play this year. And with the making of the café, that time seemed to be long in coming. “We’ll play soon, Jeno. Chill.” Chenle replied. They brought home takeout and Jeno did not hesitate to drop himself in the empty seat between Mark and Jaemin to have himself a bite of a half eaten burger. “You guys seemed to have fun.” Jeno commented, his eyes trailing to each and every one of them at the table as they all nodded and hummed. “Obviously! The team I bet on won!” Haechan threw his hands in the air and laughed triumphantly. Haechan gave a high five to Jaemin and Chenle as the two of them laughed along.

“That wasn’t fair!” Jisung huffed out. The rest were silently wallowing in the disappointment. “Free ice cream tomorrow.” Chenle chuckled. “We’ll close up at ten?” Renjun questioned. Jeno looked up to the clock on the wall, just above the counter and nodded. The group went on talking for hours. It was mostly them explaining to Jeno about the games that he wasn’t interested in. But for the sake of his friends, he listened. The longer they went on, the longer Jeno noticed the time was way past ten. It was almost twelve. At least they didn’t have classes the next day so that was a good thing. “Um guys...?” Jeno suddenly let out. The whole group went from laughing hysterically to silence and all attention was on him. “Yeah?” Jaemin asked.

“Is it bad to say that I want us to bring back Hot Sauce?” Jeno already expected their expressions. Some showed their shock outwardly, while the rest were simply silent. But their eyes were filled with uncertainty and wary. “You can’t be serious, right?” Mark turned his eyes from the table and to Jeno. Jeno had a second of doubt in his train of thought, but he has fallen too deep, too quick. “Yes.” Haechan instantly stood up and went around the table to Jeno. He turned Jeno to have him. And he placed firm hands on Jeno’s shoulders. “Do you not remember what happened? What we did? The fact we almost got caught?”

Jeno remembered it clearly. It was a regular day for the guys. Everyone was meeting at Mark’s dorm room for a game night. Jeno was about to roll the dice when Jisung came bursting through the door open. “Guys! I need help! I’m freaking out!” Jisung had his feet moving as if the floor was lava and he couldn’t stop jumping. Chenle had to hold him still to get an answer out of him. “I think I made something.” Everyone looked at each other with skepticism painted on their faces, eyes scrutinising Jisung. They didn’t know if they could trust Jisung’s words. To them he was just the youngest, the most innocent. But what he made certainly wasn’t.

“What do you mean?” Mark asked, tilting his head. Jisung panted and tried to steady his breathing for him to answer. “Follow me to the dorm kitchen.” Jisung brisked walked down the hall, Jeno could hesr his feet shuffling but he quickly stopped in his track, turning back to peek his head out of the doorframe. “Come on!” Jisung urged with his hand gesturing to follow him. Everyone was still exchanging unsure glances, but Haechan was the first one to groan as he stood up to his feet from the floor, jerking his head towards the door. “Let’s just entertain whatever he’s up to.” With the room filled with heaves of sigh and hisses, one by one they stood up and left the dorm to visit the dorm kitchen.

By the time all of them were down to the kitchen, Jisung was already standing there with some equipment in front of him. Laboratory equipment. Jeno narrowed his eyes as everyone gathered around the kitchen counter and leaning towards Jisung, most probably to see what was inside that glass flask. What seemed surprising to Jeno was the fact that it didn’t even look like a solution. It was hot sauce. “Jisung if you’re making some prank on us-” “I’m not!” Jisung protested, grabbing the flask firmly in his hand and bringing up in front of him. “I think I made a love potion. With hot sauce.” Yet again, everyone had a look of disbelief. Looks that said “This is ridiculous. How is this even real?”

“You know we won’t believe you unless you prove it.” Renjun said, leaning back with his arms folded and having both brows raised as a sign for a challenge. Prove that the love potion was real, or they’d win this side of the challenge. “Alright, fine. Tell me someone you want to have fall for you. Any one of you.” Jisung slammed the flask on the table, the loud sound making Jeno flinch since he expected the flask to break from the sound of impact. Luckily it didn’t. “I want to try it on one of the girls in my major.” Chenle said, intentionally making it sound like a joke and laughing out loud afterwards. Jisung frowned deeply and had his eyebrows furrowed and eyes darting onto Chenle. “Come on don’t joke around. I actually think this might work.”

“Jeez okay, okay.” Chenle exhaled for a long moment. He placed his hands on the edge of the kitchen counter and leaned forward, shoulder raised. “So are there any rules I need to follow? Because if this is like those love arrows, a wrong move would result in chaos.” Chenle added on. No one responded. Because no one knew how. Everyone was uncertain about this, deeply skeptical and scrutinising of the whole idea. Jisung unfortunately has yet been able to gain even an ounce of credibility from them. “Well, once they taste the hot sauce, you must be in their line of vision. If my theory is correct, the first person they make eye contact with will the one they’ll fall for.” Jisung sounded like he was some advanced chemist. And to some extend, he was. He is taking a chemistry major after all.

“Have you tried this on... I don’t know, a test subject or something? Rats?” Mark questioned, and it sounded like a genuine one. Jeno simply folded his arms and kept himself quiet while he tried to let all the information sink in. It was hard to believe, and what were the chances of it actually working? The unknown answers to Jeno’s never ending questions, which he’s certain that it was on everyone’s mind as well, got him to let out an unintentional huff through thin lips. “Well... no. But that is why I’m asking you guys to try it. Tomorrow.” Jisung sounded determined. And Jeno couldn’t help but have his heart soften at the sight of his poor friend. “Is there anything else we should know about this ‘love potion’?” The words felt weird rolling off his tongue, it just didn’t set right with him just yet.

“I honestly have no idea what happens after. How deeply they’ll love you, how to break it. I can’t be certain on any of that.” Chenle, Haechan and Renjun gaped their mouths open and let out a breath. “Then shouldn’t we use it on other people and not ourselves?!” Renjun exclaimed. Jisung rolled his eyes with exasperation and slammed his hands palm down on the counter. “I- of course! Why would I put you guys in danger? What I meant was that any of you could ask anybody to try it. I didn’t mean to use it for it to work on you!” Jisung shouted, a groan following after. The kitchen fell silent and an unfamiliarly tense air surged through the gaps of the seven friends.

“Fine. Chenle, take the hot sauce. We’ll meet at the café for Chenle to report what happens. Alright?” The silence continued for a short moment before everyone hummed softly and nodded their heads. Jisung picked up the cork and placed it on the flask, pushing it to Chenle. Everyone watched as Chenle picked it up and took time to examine the flask and its content. He sucked in his lips and nodded as well. With that, everyone exited the kitchen and decided to go back to their own dorms. The thoughts of Jisung and the potential love potion lingering on through the night.

After the spam of a week or so, Jeno was deeply anticipating for the results as he rushed his way to the café at evening. When he entered, everyone was already surrounding the tables, again they were silent. He knew Chenle have yet to tell them the results since everyone gestured for Jeno to come join them, and he took long sprints to get to the table and settle down. Chenle was rubbing his knees anxiously, some followed, while the rest, including Jeno, were dead silent and simply wanted the answer out. Chenle finally took in a deep breath. “It worked. It fucking worked.”

Everyone was speechless, motionless. Everyone’s eyes trailed to each and every one of them, eventually staring down at Chenle and occasionally Jisung. Jisung was the first the move, his mouth hanged open and his eyes widened till it looked like his eyeballs could have fallen out of their eye sockets. Jisung snatched the flask that still had some hot sauce left and raised it in the air. Jeno could see the victorious feelings surging through his friends’s veins. Jisung jumped up from his seat and went in small circles from all the excitement. “Dude! I honestly can’t believe it.” Chenle said. And this time, everyone had an expression of disbelief, but the different kind. The positive kind.

“We need every detail on what happened.” Jeno eagerly asked. Chenle’s story was long winded, but in Jeno’s head, he summarised it as the moment the girl tasted the hot sauce, she suddenly changed. And when she met the eyes of the random guy, she was nothing but head over heels. And it went on for the whole day. “I did some experimenting myself to help you. And I found out how to break the effects of the potion.” Chenle said that the one that tasted the potion had to taste something sweet to settle the taste of heat from the hot sauce. Jisung instantly offered his hand to help make a heartbreak potion in relation to the love potion.

“Do you guys know what this means for us?” Jisung said. Everyone had their brows raised quizzically. “Don’t you see that everyone our age is looking for love? We make it easy for them, and we get paid. We can make a whole business out of this!” Jisung shoved the flask of love potion into everyone’s faces, causing them to lean back, but laughter and happy chuckles spread through the group fast. “Ah yes!” With that, approval was gained. Slowly and surely, they let the news about their secret love potion spread through the campus, and people began buying, with them earning a fortune in no time. It was a successful underground business the guys had, and Jeno was glad he was doing it with his friends.

Until that one day. The day Jaemin used the love potion on himself, and things got extremely rocky. They made a rule to themselves to not use it for their own benefits, but Jaemin was too naive, and wanted to make his crush fall in love with him. But instead, Jeno was one that was loved, not Jaemin. And that almost set the group of friends to crumble with constant distrust. On top of that, being an underground business, they were almost caught by the police. It was an exciting, but also dark time for the guys. Which was why they ended up not making the love potion for good after a few months of easy money, promised to never be brought up again. But it was Jeno that had to do it.

“I remember what happened. But I know what to be careful of now. Please, let me use it.” Jeno was practically pleading at this point. This girl, whoever she was, got him to be this desperate, got him thinking to go to such lengths for her to look his way, and only his. Jaemin placed a hand on Jeno’s shoulders, and his eyes trailed from his hand and to his face. “Please know what you’re doing. I don’t want us being like that again.” Jaemin’s voice was soft and caring, with worry wishing through his words. Jeno blinked one at him, eyes blaring with truth and determination. “I’ll be careful.”

That night, Jeno went back with Jisung to the lab to make the potion, Jaemin following along. Once Jisung was done, and that alone took long hours into the night, Jisung passed it in a small bottle this time, the cork blocking the view of the hot sauce from the top view. Jisung tapped Jeno’s shoulder and walked out of the kitchen, leaving with him and Jaemin in the quiet of the dead night. “I hope it works.” Jeno whispered, eyes on the bottle. He felt Jaemin’s eues on him. “I hope so too.” The words were heavy, and Jeno knew what he was implying. “It’s fine that we went through that. But please don’t let it happen again.”

I was at my study table. The papers were scattered all over in a huge mess. If I were to look at that all that any longer, I might just faint. I turned to around on my chair, letting my body sink into it as I threw my head back in stress and despair. I’ve been sitting here for hours now, and the amount of work I was able to get done was definitely not up to my satisfaction. On top of the stress of having a lot of assignments, I was now stressed on the fact that I wasn’t able to complete any of them. I guess it’s just one of those days when your brain refuses to function. And I seriously hate those days.

I called Jaehyun, asking him to video call me to serve as my mental support and encouragement to do my assignment. But instead he brought up the suggestion of studying at the café. And to that I immediately said yes. “Only if you pay for the food.” I said with a happy laugh as I jumped off my chair to get ready. “i’m sure they’re kind enough to make it free.” I smiled wider. It was late at night and I’m surprised at the fact that they’re still open. Just what time did they close?

Jaehyun and I went in, but we were greeted with only three of them present. Haechan, Mark, and Jeno. “Oh hey guys!” Haechan got up from his seat when he heard the door open and his eyes met ours. The other two turned around and waved at us. I responded back. Jeno’s eyes were locked on mine for what felt like an eternity, and my heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. Luckily it wasn’t enough to have me heat up. That is, until he smiled. The butterflies were quick to flutter in my stomach and heat was raised up to my cheeks. I could only hope that it wasn’t obvious. Jeno’s smile was brief but bright. If he didn’t smile, it’ll seem like he’s someone unapproachable, closed off. That smile changed everything about his aura.

“We just came here to study.” I let out, holding up the stack of papers i had in my hand before bringing it back to my chest. Jaehyun hummed right after and they all nodded, their smiles still plastered on their faces. “We’re hoping to get free drinks?” Jaehyun grinned back, almost in a mischievous way as he raised both his eyebrows up in anticipation. I laughed sheepishly. “We don’t mind.” Jeno said as he rolled his shoulders and slid his hands into his pockets. “What can we get you?” Jeno slowly walked up to where we seat. His eyes were taking small glances to me, and I tried my best to look away to seem natural. “There’s a watermelon drink, right?” Jeno nodded his head. “I’ll just get that.”

“And you?” Jeno gestured to Jaehyun. He offered to allow Jeno choose the drink that was easiest for him to make. I turned my head to the window, afraid that I might explode from the way Jeno kept looking at me. Once he went away, I immediately turned back to face Jaehyun and gasped for air. I can never breathe properly when Jeno’s around. “You don’t look okay.” Jaehyun let out with a raised brow. “Do you think I should be like those girls that don’t think they need anybody to make the guy like them more?” I questioned as the sudden thought popped up in my head. “You mean play hard to get.” Jaehyun gave me an unimpressed look, to which I responded with a roll of my eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Jaehyun asked, purely out of curiosity. “Mm, because it seems like Jeno’s likes me or something.” I shrugged and slumped my back into the chair. Jaehyun turned his head to the threes guys, specifically eyeing Jeno and snapping his head back to me with a laugh of amusement. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” Jaehyun raised his shoulders and folded his arms on the table, leaning in slightly. “But why play hard to get?�� I laughed, and Jaehyun was shocked at my response. “Just think it’ll be fun. I’ve never experienced love in awhile now. Nothing wrong in playing a little.” I tilted my head to the side as I watched Jaehyun gape his mouth open and scrunching his face. “There’s so many things wrong with that, _____!” I frowned.

“My life, my rules.” I simply said with a light giggle. Mark came back and served our drinks. He was quick to shuffle back to his friends, not wanting to make a small talk. Jaehyun and I took out our materials for studying, or in my case assignments and began to get to work after I took a sip of my drink and set it aside by the window. The café was entirely silent for the whole time, merely small chatters and bickering from the three that sat at the other table. But after awhile, the murmurs died out. But I didn’t bother to look away from my work since watching Jaehyun actually gave me an encouragement boost, seeing how he’s hardworking and fully in the zone.

I decided to take a five minute break after burning through most of my assignments in a few hours. I didn’t even know what time it was. All I knew was that the sun had set and the night had made itself comfortable in the sky. When I looked up to grab my drink from the window, I saw myself in the reflection, but I also saw Jeno, plainly having his back faced away from me. He’s the only one there, Mark and Haechan were gone and out of sight. I turned around to him. “Hey, Jeno?” I called out, loud enough for him to hopefully hear. He lifted his head up instantly and shot his eyes to me quick. “Yes?” He replied, dropping his phone onto his lap. “Where did Mark and Haechan go?”

Jeno’s mouth formed an ‘O’ as he stood up and idled his way up to our table. He clasped his hands behind his back. “They went out to eat.” Jeno replied with a soft smile. That simple movement would be running laps in my mind. “Why didn’t you go?” Jaehyun questioned as he set his pen down and lifted his arms to stretch them out as well as his back. “He has to take care of the café, Jae.” I replied bluntly since the answer was obvious, but I guess Jaehyun was still zinging back from all the work he had done. Jeno nodded his head upon hearing my response. “I can’t leave the cafe unattended.” There was a long pause of silence for a moment, as Jaehyun and I watched Jeno standing upright awkwardly. “Actually, I might join them.”

I creased my forehead as my mouth gaped open slightly the moment Jaehyun said that. I saw the look in his eyes. I knew what he was doing. I narrowed my eyes down on him and he winked back with glee. I took a moment to take a quick glance at Jeno, and although it was fully visible, a look of shock could be seem for a brief second before disappearing and plastering on a neutral expression. “I’m starving so.” Jaehyun left the unfinished sentence hanging in the air as he rose form his chair and begin to pack up, grabbing all his belongings from the table and placing it into his bag quickly. I knew he was in a rush to get Jeno and I alone. I all but wanted to smack him in the head. “Text me when you get back to the dorms, okay!” Jaehyun shouted from the door as he happily waved at me and ran out of the café.

I absentmindedly let out a sigh as a reaction of Jaehyun’s intention for going out. I lifted my head to Jeno, who was staring at the table so intensely. “You can sit, you know.” I gestured my chin to the table in front of me and with a nervous laughter, he slowly sat down, placing his phone faced down on the table and sliding the chair in. “How was studying?” Jeno asked. I could feel him tense up already, as if I could read his mind while he bit his lower lip. “Why ask such a question?” Was what Jeno could be thinking in his head. “I was actually able to get my shit done. Well, almost.” I chuckled, beginning to gather up my papers and stacking them neatly. While doing so, I felt his eyes on me, as if watching my every move. As a tease, I shot my eyes up to him like a slingshot, a mischievous smile forming on my lips.

Jeno widened his eyes when I did, and I couldn’t help but laugh softly. “You look tensed up with me, calm down.” I finished stacking up my papers and shove it to the side, realising that my cup was already empty to mere drops gathered at the bottom. “I’m not tensed, please.” Jeno cracked a smile and ran a hand through his hair, and oh God I’d want to reply that in my head for hours on. Boy was I falling for this boy fast. But I’d want to classify my feelings as pure infatuation. Although I would want to fall in love, I wanted to be more careful this time, not to fall head over heels on the first glance. “How did you guys come up with the idea of opening up the café?”

That question set our long time of conversation going. I didn’t know how, but our topics quickly changed and as the night grew darker, the topic began to grow more deep, more personal. I got to know a few things about him. Like how he liked to bike, and has a thing for cats. He told me that the possibility of the fact that I didn’t know him was because he was only popular in his major as well as the connections of his friends. And I’d agree. I never did anything else other than going for lectures and going to the dorm straight after. I wasn’t the most social out there, but neither was Jeno. His only friend circle were his six friends, and that’s that.

“You seem to have the perfect life.” I muttered, at this point, I had my body faced to the window, looking at the ink black sky that was painted with splatters of white as stars. What’s even better was that the moon was shining, and that gave the darkened café a glow above the white aesthetic of the café. “I just never been in love for a long time.” I blinked my eyes, turning to Jeno. Jeno’s eyes flickered with uncertainty for a moment, but he slowly shook his head to get rid of them. “That’s a story for another time.” I didn’t know how, but I guess the ambiance of the café got our voices to get soft and gentle, exchanging our words with whispers and mutters. It was so calming and peaceful. My night talk with Jeno was something I wished I could do every night. The quietness of the atmosphere, and everything about this moment. I wanted it to last.

“You should go home. I’m worried I’m keeping you up.” Jeno must’ve noticed how my eyes kept fluttering open each time I talked, with them falling back to close right after. I weakly hummed and moved my body to face him. “Yeah, I guess.” With that, Jeno helped me to pack my things and send me to the door. “You are okay to go back yourself, right?” I hummed again. “How’s that Taeyong guy, he’s not texting you or anything?” I smacked my lips and heaved a long sigh. “He’s far into my past for me to give a fuck anymore. Well, except for that one night. But yes, I am well capable of going myself.” I flashed a reassuring smile. He placed a hand on my shoulder, sending a bolt of lighting through my whole body, but I tried to not make myself flinch at the touch and left the café.

—Say you'll call me baby.

The moment Jeno closed the door, he couldn’t help but frown. He slowly took the small bottle of love potion out of his apron, playing it around his palm as he thought of whether he should use it or not. It seemed like she genuinely liked him. But it also felt like she didn’t want to be anything more. But how could Jeno assume her feelings towards Jeno this quickly. All Jeno is right now is blinded by her everything. And he wanted her to be his. I wrapped his fingers around the bottle tightly, squeezing it hard as he thought over it one last time. Was it the right thing to do? No. But was Jeno desperate? Yes. He wanted her desperately, and if the love potion’s not going to let someone like her slip out of his grasp, he’ll gladly do it. It sounded selfish if he were to say it out loud, but he couldn’t help it.

“I want her to call me baby.”

“You haven’t used it on her yet?” Jeno jumped at the familiar voice, shooting his head up so fast it almost gave him whiplash. Jaemin was standing right in front of him, posture laid back and relaxed with his hands sliding in his pockets. His eyes flickered to the bottle for a moment and back to him. Jeno was too deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice his friend making an entrance. Jeno noticed the shift of his eyes and looked down to the bottle as well, quickly pulling it out of their sight by placing it behind hum. “Um- well no. Not yet.” Jeno said, his voice just slightly shaky after he cleared his throat. “Why?” Jaemin swerved around Jeno to get past him and Jeno turned around.

To get his mind to settle after going far with this thoughts, he decided to ask another question. “Why’re you here?” Jaemin clicked his tongue, his back still facing Jeno as he walked around the café. Jaemin inhaled sharply, his chest lifting up before it went back down in a flash. “They told me to come check on you. Don’t know why because I know you’re responsible enough to close the café yourself.” Jaemin didn’t look at him when he replied as he slowly walked to the window. “You didn’t answer me.” Jaemin muttered. “It’s too quick to use it now.” Jeno let out in a mere whisper, he knew his friend would hear him. Jeno took slow strides to stand next to Jaemin who was by the window, noticing just how deep into the night they were.  

Jaemin turned his head slightly to Jeno, but not entirely. HIs eyes were still on the scenery.  “I thought you were so eager to use it. You seem to really like her.” Jaemin added on. Jeno could hear his gentle breathing. Jeno sucked in a breath to prolong the time he needed to answer. To be very honest, he didn’t exactly have one. But after a long pause, he let out, “I just wanted to see if it’s even needed to use the love potion.” Jeno frowned ever so slightly, looking at Jaemin in the reflection of the window, seeing a slightly surprised expression on his face but he was quick to ice it over. “Did you not think of the factors that come with this?” Jaemin slid his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms, placing his weight on one leg. 

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “As if I didn’t.” Jeno muttered, his words accidentally rolling off his tongue with a sharp tone which earned an expected scoff from Jaemin. “I’m just saying. Jisung didn’t make that potion in months, almost a hear.” Jaemin gulped, his upper body slowly turned to face Jeno. “What if something bad happens?” At this point, reckless Jeno from the long day was starting to take effect, and he was beginning to get tired of Jaemin sending constant hint, though at the back of his mind he knew Jaemin was saying all the those for his safety, for the safety of his heart. 

“If you don’t want me to use the love potion just say it.” Jeno rubbed his temples and let out a huff. Jaemin was so surprised by Jeno’s reply that he leaned back. Jaemin had never seen this defensive side of his friend in a long time. “I just...” Jeno waited for Jaemin to finish his sentence, but it was left hanging in the tensed air that was between them. “I’m sorry.” Jeno breathed out, glancing down to his feet before lifting his head back up and straightening his back. “It’s fine. It’s your life. Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you.” Jeno turned to him, a small sincere smile was on his face, and it warmed Jeno’s heart enough to reciprocate it. “Let’s pack up. And I’m sleeping at your dorm tonight.” Jaemin’s smile quickly turned to a cheeky one as he hopped to get to the entrance. Jeno chuckled, shaking his head. “Why’s that?”

Jaemin had a hand on the cafe door. Jaemin snapped his head to Jeno’s direction. “I didn’t do that for quite some time now, don’t you think?” Jeno widened his smile till a grin appeared, dashing to turn off all the lights and quickly exiting  the cafe. But before he did, he took one last glance at the table where she seated, almost seeing her figure made his heart thump in a matter of seconds but he shook his head to clear slate of her and ran after Jaemin. 

“Anyone who hasn’t finished their assignments, please get them ready the next time I see you. Don’t ask me for extra credits on this one.” The lecture hall was filled with long groans and whines. I wished I could get out right now so I didn’t have to deal with this any longer. It’s stupid how students beg for extra credits but are yet able to submit their assignment on time. I didn’t see the point to it. My professors rolled his eyes and huffed in exasperation. “Quit the whining you’re all too old for that. Class dismissed.” Everyone instantly stood up from their seats and wasted no time to exit the hall. Everyone was so eager to leave. And wanting to avoid the commotion at the door, I waited behind and took my time to pack up.

Once the exit was completely empty, which only took about five minutes since everyone was pushing each other to get out, I finally slung my bag over my shoulders and carried my laptop in my hand before walking down the stairs to get to the exit. And when I stepped out and turned to the right, I was instantly met and a figure laying their back against the brick wall, legs out while they casually scrolled through their phone. Though I couldn’t see their face due to them wearing a black cap, the bright blonde hair that stood out below was blinding and I immediately knew who it was at the very first glance. “Jeno...?” I called out, walking towards him slowly. He instantly lifted his eyes off his phone, meeting mine and a small smile grew on his lips. “Hey.”

I glanced about our surroundings. There were certainly people staring. Whispers and murmurs floated in the air and came to reach me so fast that I wish I could melt into the floor and disappear from the face of the earth. I sucked in my lips and breathed out, shaking my head. “What exactly are you doing here?” I asked in a hushed tone. I was suddenly feeling cautious as the eyes of whoever’s were drilling down my back. It felt wrong to have Jeno right in front of me right now. It’s as if he was too good for me to be around with. But not going to lie, that is true. Students were giving me disgusted glances and glares. I washed away such thoughts and brought my attention back to Jeno, who had his eyes on the people around us before pushing himself away from the floor and sighing purposefully loud for them to hear.

“I genuinely didn’t know what time you ended lecture so I waited.” Jeno said with the most casual tone ever. I squinted my eyes at him and tilted my head a mere fraction. I took this time to look him up and down. His fit was the most casual thing ever. Black shirt tucked loosely in black jeans ripped at the knees and black sneakers. The black cap made him look mysterious, cold. He’d honestly seem like someone I would never dare to approach with an outfit this dark. But it accentuated his perfect body proportions along with having his biceps just slightly showing under his sleeves. The look was simple, but he made it a hundred time more attractive. “And why were you waiting?”

Jeno lifted his cap off and ran his free hand through his hair. That action alone got my heart to speed up its pace and began to feel unsteady under my skin. “I actually wanted you to come to the café to try something new I made.” Jeno smiled widely till his eyes formed a thin line. The cap overshadowed his face, but I could clearly see the features of his face. And right now, he looked like those cute dogs. However, the low chatters, stares, scrutinising glances were beginning to take over my mind. And for some reason, I wished that I wasn’t standing with Jeno in public right now. “Can you text me and I’ll go some other time?” I whispered, brushing a strand behind my ear as I shot back annoyed eyes to the people walking by, to no one specific. But I knew a lot of people were talking about me. As if I wasn’t made to be In Jeno’s line of vision.

Jeno gave me a weirded out look and blinked his eyes rapidly. “Why? I waited so I could take you there right now.” He said, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. I could tell he was taking quick glances at where I kept looking and he bit his lower lip. “We’ll get out of here.” Jeno reached out to hold my wrist, but I quickly pulled back, shaking my head. “No, please. Just... now’s not the right time. Text me later, I guess.” I gulped and squinted my eyes shut before turning around sharply and walking away in a quick pace. I stared down at the floor, too annoyed to look up as the whispers trailed along behind me but drowned out the further I went. If being around Jeno would earn me such hate, I wouldn’t even dare to be seen with him like just now ever again. I didn’t want to deal with that. Jeno’s too good for me. That I could already tell. And this just confirmed that he was.

—Tell me you'll be okay. If I leave you alone today

Jeno stood there, completely stunned and frozen as he watched her back grew smaller and she went further and eventually disappearing when she turned a corner. Jeno let out a frustrated groan and took his cap off to ruffle his hair, shutting his eyes. He opened them back up with a sharp motion, turning around to walk the other way and a shake of his head. Jeno wondered what was with her sudden defensive aura. He knew it was because of the never ending drills of eyes on them. But he could’ve quickly drew them out of there and headed for the café. Jeno guessed that he was too late. Jeno planned to use the potion on her that day, too bad disappeared the moment he took a step forward for her.

That night, Jeno was restless. He was pacing to and fro of his dorm, throwing his phone up in the air and catching, continuing with that motion through the hours he’d been pacing. Jeno wanted to see her again. Jeno wanted to use the potion. But it seemed like he was losing every given time to do so. And he felt like he was at a loss. Giving up and finding no point in wasting his physical energy walking, he dropped himself onto his bed and laid down, eyes staring into the ceiling as if picturing Jeno and her together, something that would be a gamble to happen. He sighed quietly. “Tell me you’re okay. Even if you don’t want me there.” Jeno whispered to himself as he prayed that she’ll be okay even if he wasn’t there for her.

Jeno hasn’t seen her for the next few days. She didn’t come to the café anymore. And when Jaehyun came occasionally, she wasn’t there with him. Even at the official opening of the café and the time after, she wasn’t there. Jeno was getting worried. She wasn’t even seem on campus whenever Jeno went for lectures. It’s as if she disappeared entirely, just like how it was before. He wondered day after day where she could’ve gone. He would’ve asked Jaehyun, but he said no for the sake of her privacy.

“She’s been through things, Jeno.” Jaehyun muttered, his voice a low rasp as he began explaining about her situation. They were sitting on the benches on campus, and Jeno hoped she’d somehow appear, but of course he couldn’t deny the reality. “What has she been through?” Jeno asked in desperation. He saw the hesitation flicker in Jaehyun’s eyes for a clear moment. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand down his face. “Taeyong. He raped her.” There were no filters to his words, no sugarcoating, nothing. It was out there in the open, hard and tense off his tongue. Jeno could tell Jaehyun’s heart felt heavy in an instant, and so was his. He shouldn’t have asked. Now he was feeling bad.

Later that night he was up again, just like any night. Clearly he had her on his mind. But this time, it was just a little different. Jeno was laying out all he knew in his mind, mapping it all out in hopes to sort out his feelings that he has still yet to unravel and identify. The longer he stared up the ceiling and ponder, he might have just came to a conclusion.

“I’ll use it on you, so you wouldn’t have to go through it again.” That was what Jeno planned to do. He could’ve just made it work like how regular relationships have their buildup. But what if it doesn’t work? What if she’s too scared of Jeno? That’s what he feared. And he wanted to show her that she didn’t need to suffer. He wanted to make sure she knew. He has now shifted his focus on the potion. Clearly he wanted to use it for her to fall in love with him, but he also wanted to make her feel better. To know that Jeno was there for her. He turned to his side with a grunt, staring into blank space before finally shutting his eyes.

I flinched when I was tapped on the shoulder hard and I instantly swing my head behind on instinct. “Jaehyun!” I shouted, punching his arm lightly as he laughed and moved to walk beside me. I folded my arms and feigned a sigh. “Let’s go to the café.” Jaehyun suggested, and my heart suddenly felt its weight. I sucked in my lips, my feelings and mind unsure on making a decision. “I don’t feel like it...” I whispered, glancing down to the floor before looking up to have my face meet the sunlight. I shut my eyes and kept walking with my head lifted up. I heard Jaehyun sigh quietly and he hummed, somewhat finding a way to sort out his words in his head.

“I know you don’t want to go because of Jeno. But just try... No one will get to you like how Taeyong did. I’ll make sure of it.” Jaehyun said, his tone gentle with a sheer underlying persuasion. I groaned and adverted my eyes to Jaehyun. “Even if he likes me, he’s too good for me. People stared at me like it was a crime for someone as perfect as Jeno to be waiting outside the lecture hall for me. It’s ridiculously annoying and I don’t think I can put up with it 24/7.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair before continuing. “There are plenty of other reasons why he’s too good for me too.” I ended the sentence with a voice almost inaudible.

I could tell Jaehyun was just as frustrated as I am, because he fired back. “He may be too good. But he sees something in you that has never caught his attention like any other girls here. Give him a chance. Get out of your “closed off” phase. I hate how what happened with Taeyong is keeping you from being fully happy.” I hate to admit it, but Jaehyun was right. I’ve never been entirely happy. Of course I had Jaehyun, but he had a life for himself to live. He couldn’t be with me always. And without him, my life hasn’t seen that much joy. And Jeno was seen as a possible opening to that joy for me, maybe.

Jaehyun wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I gave him a death glare. “Don’t give me that look. You know I’m right anyways. So let’s go to the café.” With his strong hold, I knew I couldn’t get out of it and I was about to be dragged to the café just like Jaehyun wanted. I closed my eyes for a moment to mentally prepare myself and we went.

At the café, not all the guys were there. It seemed like they were taking turns to take shifts each day. And today was none other than Jeno. As if fate wanted him to be here, and wanted me to come on this very day. The sunlight was blaring into the café and brought full light on the white of the café. Jeno lifted his head up from the sound of the door opening and smiled. I wished I wasn’t so easily swayed by such a simple movement. But it was Jeno. “The usual?” I had on a confused look till Jaehyun hummed and I realised Jeno was referring to him. I guess he saw my expression, because he turned to me and asked, “Do you want what you ordered last time?” I simply nodded my head, no words coming out of my mouth.

Jaehyun and I took a seat as the two of us watched Jeno preparing our drinks with speed and profession. I exhaled deeply. “I like him. But I’m too scared.” I finally admitted, keeping my voice so low for only one pair of ears to hear.

On the other hand, Jeno was taking quick glances at her, seeing if she was looking. And indeed she was, along with Jaehyun. Jeno kept his eyes on the drinks, but kept peaking down to his apron pocket where the small glass bottle of hot sauce glistened. Jeno wet his lips and slowly took it out as he brought the drinks to the machine. And in one quick swift motion, he made sure he eyed the correct drink and dumped in just three drops of the hot sauce. He gulped deeply and threw it back into the pocket of his apron. He proceeded to quickly make a drink of his own and bringing it to them in a flash. He made sure to not mix up the drink and sat down beside Jaehyun.

I smiled the moment Jeno placed my drink in front of me and sat down. I licked my lips, looking down at the drink and thought about how long it had been since I last drank it. “I actually added something new to that drink. Was wondering if you could tell me what you think.” Jeno leaned in. For some reason, he leaned in quite a lot, as if he only wanted himself to be in my line of sight. I chuckled and nodded my head, dipping down to place my lips on the heart shaped straw. I sucked in a sip, my eyes unconsciously locking onto Jeno’s as he stared at me with such intent and attention.

I swallowed it. I couldn’t help but cough at the taste. It felt the same, but there was something... spicy underlying the refreshing flavours. I scrunched my face up and leaned back, shaking my head. “Jeno... what did you-” My mind went blank.

Jeno was observing her every move. Every twitch on her face. She was blinking her eyes rapidly, and when she opened them back, she had her eyes darting on Jeno, and Jeno only. She gulped, and her eyes were filled something light, a look of uplift. “Jeno...” She whispered softly. She gaped her mouth open and leaned in, their faces merely inches away from each other and Jeno’s heart began to pick up its pace at the small sparks that were bursting between. Even if they weren’t real. “What the fuck?” Jeno turned to Jaehyun when he sounded. He raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his sear with folded arms. “I mean I knew she liked you but she’s never shows it until-” Jaehyun paused, a scoff escaping his lips. “Now.”

Jaehyun didn’t notice her sudden change? Was it not obvious that he used something on her? It looked natural? Jeno’s mind was spiralling with questions and he refrained himself from looking to shocked at Jaehyun’s casual reaction. Jeno slowly adverted his attention back to her. She had her palms on her cheeks. It looked so real. Her eyes were sparkling with Jeno in her sight. Butterflies began to flutter in his stomach, a feeling he’s never felt in so long. It felt new. “I want to be alone with you, Jeno.” Jeno’s eyes widened so much, and he couldn’t help but lean back from the sudden statement. Jaehyun scoffed again, this time louder. “I’ll go.” Jaehyun rose up from his seat. With a sly look, he pat Jeno’s arm firmly and finish whatever’s left of his drink and dashed out.

Jeno watched Jaehyun the whole way till the door closed and he disappeared. Jeno sucked in his lips, hearing her hum softly. “H-How are you feeling?” Jeno was still in bewilderment by how it was actually working. He was indeed fascinated to see the potion working its magic on the person he wanted. “I feel normal. But so in love...” Her giggles echoed through the lone café and Jeno gulped in nervousness the moment she lifted her hand and grazed her fingers his, tracing them slowly and eventually interlocking her fingers with his. Jeno felt the heat rushing up his cheeks. It was clearly obvious that he’s blushing seeing how she used her free hand to brush her thumb on his cheek. “Why are you so cute, hm?” She asked, tilting her head and smiling widely till her eyes formed thin lines.

Jeno chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck that was how sweaty from the sudden overwhelming heat he was feeling. He looked into her eyes. It looked beautiful, shining so bright with so much love and happiness. He’d never seen her like this, and it was like she glowed up like the sun was made to shine only on her. But at the same time, the longer he looked, the longer he began to wonder just how much of the love in her eyes were even real. Maybe a tiny bit, or none at all.

With my eyes shut, I squinted them tight as the sunlight hit my face and glared at me. Struggling to flutter them open, I sat up, pressing my hands into the mattress. And that’s when it hit me. A sharp pain in my head as a migraine began to take place. It was so bad that I pressed my hand to my head, wincing in pain as if a needle was poking into my skull. I groaned and tried to move, but to no avail. I dropped back into bed. I rolled over to cover my eyes from the burning sun. But that was when I tried to search for my phone, frantically tapping the sheets to find it. Once I did, I turned it on, and realised it was twelve in the afternoon.

I sprang out of bed. I took a second look at my phone. How was I unaware of what day it was today? And what happened yesterday? I barely remembered anything. “I didn’t drink, did it?” I questioned myself softly as I lost my balance from the migraine and leaned my hand on the study table as I took wary steps out of my room. I thought it over again. I couldn’t have drank. I didn’t drink in a long time. So how was it that I didn’t remember anything from yesterday? I was able to take slow steps to the living room, dropping myself into the couch and running a hand through my hair. I turned on my phone yet again to call Jaehyun. And as I typed in the first two letters, another name besides Jaehyun’s came up.

“Jeno?” I lifted a hand to scratch my head. I never added Jeno to my contacts list before. When did I do that? I squint my eyes shut, trying my best to recall whatever that I did yesterday, or to know if I was even awake. And the only I last remembered was being at the café with Jaehyun. In an attempt to use some logical thinking, I could deduce that I possibly got Jeno’s number because he was at the café with me yesterday. But why would I ask for it. At the moment, my thumbs moved on its own, too late for my train of thoughts to aline and I already realised that I was calling Jeno. He picked up in a matter of seconds and I brought my phone up to my ear. “Hey baby.”

At the sound of Jeno’s voice and words, I was instantly put in a trance. I didn’t know how, but it was as if I got transported in my subconscious. I knew what was happening, what I was doing. And that was what’s making me have the strong urge to jump out of my skin shock. “Jeno! I missed you, baby!” I cried out, a smile cracking on my lips. I tried to shake my head, but I couldn’t. I was stuck. I didn’t have the intention to say those words. I also didn’t know I was going to do that. What was happening to me? “I have a lecture today. You want meet me and we could possibly go somewhere?” My eyes lit up with much joy and glee. I couldn’t believe my consciousness was acting like this. It’s not me at all.

“Mm sure! What time does it end?” The smile never felt my face. It was plastered there I knew it wouldn’t come off. My mind began picturing Jeno, with us going out to the city at night. Is that what I was envisioning? Even my heart was beating at a rapid speed when I didn’t want it to. It’s like all my actions were being controlled by something. It had my body react in a way that I couldn’t possibly tell at the moment. What’s scaring me the most was that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. And I could only let my consciousness take over the moment I sprang up at the mention that Jeno’s lecture would end at four in the evening. “Alright I’ll see you then. Love you!” I chuckled softly and ended the call, throwing my phone on the couch and running to my room to get dressed.

But ‘Love you’? Why would I say that? I was so confused as to what’s going on. My migraine disappeared too the moment this happened. I was getting ready, frantically picking out an outfit. At least my conscious knew what kind of clothes I would wear. Once I was done I turned to my full length mirror. I took a step forward to get a good look at my face, and when I stared into my eyes, there was a brief moment of darkness. I was still looking at my figure. I blinked my eyes. I did that. I glanced down to my fingers and moved them. I did that too. I slapped both my hands to my cheeks and I felt the sting that came from the impact. I’m suddenly back to my usual self.

I sucked in a breath and took a step back, looking up and down my whole outfit. Not going to lie, I did look good. I would’ve admired myself if I wasn’t so taken aback by the mysterious occurrence I just went through. I could hear my phone ringing suddenly from the living room. I walked slow, peeking my head forward and seeing it was Jeno who’s calling. I picked up, wanting him to say something first. “Hey, you ready? I’m already going out.” Jeno said, a happy tone shined through his words. I gulped and laughed softly, wanting to cover my awkwardness. “Y-Yeah I’m coming.” That stutter was not meant to be let out. Jeno hummed and ended the call. I grabbed my necessities and shoved them into the bag that matched my outfit and walked out the door.

As I went down the hallway and out of my dorm building, I kept shaking my head, trying to map everything out. What I just went through was certainly not normal. It’s like I was out of my body, yet trapped by the decisions made by whatever is doing this to me. I had my eyes on the floor for so long as if the answer would just magically appear, but of course to no avail, and I was left in the darkness to the actual thing that happened. My mind was all over the place, jumping here and there, making conclusions that I knew right off the bat was not possible. Or at least, scientifically possible.

I was way too deep in my thoughts that I bumped into someone. Hard. So hard that I stumbled back. And just when I thought I was going to fall, I was saved by a hand wrapping around my waist. With a firm and strong grip, it pulled me to stand back on my feet. But the hand stayed there. I slowly trailed my eyes up from where I was looking. A loose white button up that was ever so slightly see through and at the short gap between us, I could see just a hint of his abs shining through. It wasn’t buttoned up all the way, one or two unbuttoned. I was met with his collarbone and jawline, sharp and precise like it could cut steel. And finally his face. It was Jeno. His bright puppy smile blinding my vision.

“You seem to have your mind caught up in something.” Jeno said in a hushed tone, lifting his free hand and placing both his hands on my hips. His hold softened itself and his fingers hovered over my skin. I leaned back, biting my lower lip. I didn’t know how to respond. My heart thumping so hard it could possibly rip through my ribcage. I feel my cheeks heating up and I’m pretty sure they were now painted with a light shade of pink. I gaped my mouth open, fascinated at just how perfect Jeno looked. That I was even able to see him this close. His touch and deep eyes had my mind go blank and he had to lean in closer to check if I was okay. That wasn’t making it any better.

“You good, love? You’re blushing again.” Jeno chuckled, his low raspy voice that I never knew he could have till now send a cold shiver down my spine. I didn’t know what was happening. But if I wanted to get to the bottom of this, it looks like I’ll have to act. “Am I?” I pressed my palms to my cheeks, it was certainly burning hot. His hand slide up my curved, never lifting his hand off my body and trailed it to my hand. With the most lightest touch ever, he leaned down to kiss my knuckles. I blinked my eyes rapidly. I couldn’t keep a natural face. This was all an overwhelming amount of attractiveness at one go. I felt like collapsing right then and there.

“You look pretty.” Jeno finally steps back, finally giving me space for me to breath and let my lungs begin to function again as he eyed me up and down. He giggled and nodded his head. “You really do.” He reinforced, his hand now touching mine to interlock our fingers together. “You look good too.” Jeno seemed to make it possible for someone to look stunning just by wearing a mere button up and black jeans. Adding on was his blinding blonde hair that never failed to bring the look together. “Where are we going though?” I let out the question I’ve had on my mind this whole time.

Jeno began walking and it took me awhile to walk as well as I felt the tug of his hand, urging me to follow. “I’m offering to spend the whole day with you doing whatever we like. It’s our first time out, so I wanted to do what you like.” Jeno said with a carefree sigh leaving his lips as he looked up to the sky with a soft smile. It’s like he was genuinely happy to be hanging out with me and that made my heart miss a beat. “But I don’t want to make it all about me.” I replied, wanting to sound as engaged as possible. But if I’m being honest, I really was interested in finding out what he liked to do. Jeno breathed out a chuckle and downshifted his head. “How about the arcade?” Jeno tilted his head with a cheeky smile and I really couldn’t say no.

There wasn’t a word that could describe the day I had with Jeno. Even if there was, I’d never be able to describe it. It felt... magical. I never experienced something like this in a long time. The feeling of warmth, care for every move I make, Jeno’s gentleness treating me like I was a fragile human. We did things like from going to the arcade, to ice cream shop hopping, window shopping. He never showed any sign of boredom throughout. We ate and we talked, somehow the conversation was able to flow with ease. My heart fluttered each time he looked at me, each time he smiled, each time he got close and sent fireworks bursting in me with just the lightest touch. Jeno’s... perfect.

The night I spent with Jeno really buried whatever happened in the afternoon deep, but it was still at thr back of my mind. I’d figure it out when I get back. But right now, all I wanted to focus on were the stars that look like white paint splattering on an ink black canvas, twinkling above while I huddled close to Jeno with our legs hanging over the edge of the rooftop. My body was already pressed up against his, but he urged me to get closer with a squeeze of his hand on my waist. “I like this.” I whispered softly. This could’ve been a dream. It all felt too unreal. But it’s a dream I’ll never want to wake up from. The cold breeze winded by and a ton of hair got on my face. Jeno giggled and used his free hand to swipe away the strands in bits.

Jeno’s eyes were admiring every inch of her face as he went. The look in her eyes was beautiful. He longed to stay like this for hours. The love potion made this possible. And he somewhat felt glad he used it, despite having guilt anchored at the bottom of his heart.

“Can we make this an every week thing?” I whispered, thinking of the idea of wanting to escape, that he was my escape. I knew I’d have a great day well spent with him, and I’d like to have more days with him like these in the future. Jeno’s large hand held the back if my head and shifted me to rest my head on his chest while he placed his chin on the crown of my head. He hugged me, his hold just righr, his embrace subtle but perfect. “Anytime you need it, love.” His voice could send me floating up to the bright moon that had its light shining subtly on us.

But it was also this time that I began to wonder if it was my “possessed” self that needed to be on this date and not me. Then how was I suppose to feel? Would I have felt this feeling even if it wasn’t me in my skin? The questions slowly began to spiral as the silence of the night went on, but before it could give me a headache, “I think we should go. It’s late.” I muttered. A small cute frown appeared on his face but he slowly nodded his head. “Let’s go then.”

Later that night, Jeno spent hours having memories of their night running laps in his minds. He kept resonating it, and he never seemed to get bored of it. In fact, it made him more light and happier. Jeno was head over heels with this girl, and the didn’t mind falling this deep. Because he already knew that she was his. “So did the potion work?” Jeno flinched intensely as Jaemin’s voice entered the dorm and he sauntered towards him. Jeno grinned widely and furiously nodded his head. “I went out with her and it was so... magical a-and perfect.” Jeno gestured his hands around, outwardly trying to express himself.

“I’m glad.” Jaemin cracked a sincere smile, punching Jeno’s chest lightly with his first. “Just don’t forget to break the potion, okay?” Jeno smiled sheepishly to the floor and nodded, though Jaemin’s words didn’t fully submerge into his mind. All he could think about was the works of the love potion, and now it only made him fall for her a hundred folds.

I was on campus one day, just getting out of a lecture that really killed my braincells for the day. I was so worn out. That lecture somehow felt years longer than it should. And the boredom I got from it drained all the energy out of me. I was practically a lifeless walking corpse with my hunched over back and sliding footsteps. I didn’t have my eyes in front for the while I was walking, my eyes barely half opened. “_____.” On instinct I turned my head to the direction of the call. As if on cue, all life has suddenly come back into my body. And as my eyes met Jeno’s, I was taken over again. It’s like I wasn’t even tired in the first place. Against my will, I ran up to Jeno with the brightest smile ever.

“Hey baby.” I said, wrapping my arms around his torso while his unconsciously meets my waist. Reciprocating my smile, he said “Rare for us to meet on campus.” I freed one hand and teasingly placed it on his chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt. I didn’t like how whatever’s controlling me was making me so flirty and girly. I’m hating it. “Mm that’s true.” I replied, lowering my voice. “Are you free today?” I asked, a small frown appearing on my face. Jeno freed his hands from my waist and placed his index fingers on the corner of my mouth, rising my lips to turn my frown upside down. I giggled at the motion. “I’m actually going to the library to study. You can accompany me if you’d like.”

I eagerly nodded, releasing myself from Jeno and going to stand beside him with my hand lacing its fingers with his. I looked up at him with an overly bright smile. “Let’s go.” At the library, I was still in my subconscious. This spell thing or whatever is getting me to behave much more differently than I usually am. Does Jeno not see this? Does he not realise that I’m not me right now? Jeno had his eyes on his textbook. But he still kept giving me sidelong glances each second while I stared at him dreamily against my will. Just what was making me do all this?

“Why aren’t you studying, hm?” I felt a pull from my chest and I was instantly back to myself. To check if indeed I was, I began to pat my shoulders, arms and cheeks. Jeno chuckled softly in response. “Did you hear me, love?” Jeno leaned in close to my face with a whisper, and I leaned back slightly in shock, mouth agape and blinking eyes. Once I fully got to my senses, I shook my head vigorously. “I did.” I adjusted my upper body, straightening my back and pulling myself closer to the table. “I do that things to study.” I turned around to grab my book from my bag that was sitting on the chair next to me. And suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my chest, slowly arms snaking around my waist and I was instantly enveloped with warmth. I looked from my bag and tilted my head down, seeing Jeno resting his head on me with a firm grip on me. “You do that, and I’ll sleep on you.” Jeno smiled with his eyes closed. And honestly, that was the most adorable thing I’ve seen him do yet.

I raised a brow and shook my head, the chuckle leaving my lips. “Okay, okay.” I said, the small, almost invisible smile was still on me while I began to study. But it was hard to, with Jeno’s peaceful sleeping figure on me. Slowly and surely, as if my hand had a mind of its own, I placed my pen down and reached for Jeno’s hair. My fingers were hesitant for a moment, but they soon made contact with his hair. As expected, it was soft, silky and smooth. There was a light shine to his hair that the light reflected off. The bright blonde of his hair really got me to wonder how he kept his hair healthy after dying his hair such a colour. Jeno flinched at my action but relaxed himself in no time and got back to sleep.

Since I wasn’t able to concentrate studying, my mind trailed off from Jeno to my weird situation. I was going in and out of my conscious and it’s as if I was put under a spell of some sort to be someone I’m not. There’s obviously the possibility of some witchcraft being used on me since although the trend of making potions had died long ago, the existence of it still remains. And it shouldn’t be a surprise that there are people that still make it. But what potion was used on me? And when did I even eat it? If it’s making me act this lovey dovey towards Jeno then... was a love potion used on me? I gimaced at the thoughts. There’s no way someone like Jeno used a love potion on me. If I developed any feelings for him, it’s genuine and not forced and faked by a potion. Right?

“What’s wrong?” My lips formed an ‘O’ and I snapped my head down to Jeno who was looking at me with half opened and still sleepy eyes. I ran my hand through his soft hair again, combing through them in a slow pace. “If you’re this sleepy then you should sleep in your dorm and not here.” Jeno hummed and shook his head slowly, digging deeper into my chest and making me giggle from the tickled feeling I got from it. “I want to be with you.” Jeno’s voice was muffled against my shirt but it was clear as day through my eyes. And to hear Jeno say something like that had my heart feelings many different things at once.

For the next few days which lengthened itself into months, my relationship with Jeno slowly became from friends to lovers. Jeno was considerate with everything we did, asking if if was okay for us to kiss, or to take things to the next level. It’s as if he wouldn’t do anything without the decision being made by me. But in the process, I was still switching in and out. It came at random times, but those random times were while I hung out with Jeno. Whether it’d be seeing him on campus or hearing his voice through our calls, there was no telling when I’d switch and it frustrated me for so long now.

One day late at night I went to the library in hopes of fiinding a book that would explain whatever it is that was happening to me. And to my surprise, there was. It’s located in the History section of the library. I was surprised that such books on potion still existed and put on shelves for education. I doubt anyone touched this is years. The book had caught dust in the surface of the pages as well as any crevice and smallest nook it could get itself into. I slowly opened it up and tried my best to not get dust on my self as I brushed them away, reaching my hand out as far as possible to distance my face from the book. Once most of the dust was gone, I began to flip the page where it said “Love Potion” as the topic.

I began reading. And my eyes widened with each paragraph I read going down. The effects of the potion, it’s what I’m experiencing now. It said that it could be put into anything. So anything that I ate that day could’ve had the presence of the potion and I digested it into my body without me knowing. And the only way to break it was with a “Heartbreak Potion.” But it doesn’t say how to make it. Even if there was, it’d be impossible for me to find the ingredients for it. I balled fists into my hair as I silently groan in frustration. Great, I’m under a love spell that got me to like Jeno, the first person I looked at the moment the potion took effect. And then it hit me.

“Wait... If Jeno was the one that used the potion on me?” My body froze for a moment and my breathing stopped, lungs clenching but my mind continued to turn its gears. Why would he do that in the first place? As much as I wanted to think it wasn’t true, I had to ask him for the answer myself. And so the next day, I called Jeno, and prayed that the potion would not work on me while I asked him.

“Do you know about the love potion?” I asked Jeno. We were sitting on the bench on campus as the sun was setting. Streaks of pink and orange filled the sky with hints of purple. The weather wasn’t bad, too. It was cooling and just right. I hate how I had to make the air around us tense by asking this question. Jeno lifted his head up from my shoulder and rest his chin, looking up at me and shrugging. “Yeah, I guess. It used to be popular.” I gulped deeply and tightened my grip on my knees. “Have you ever tried it on someone before...?” Jeno slowly sat up right, he was looking at me, specifically right into my eyes as if searching for something in them. A long moment of silence went by, and it was a long moment of not being able to breathe in anticipation.

“So you knew.” I froze. My face remained expressionless. Knew? So I was right? He used the potion me. Jeno sighed and nodded his head in a defeating manner, sucking in his lips before saying “I could already tell something was wrong with the potion when your behaviour changed ever now and then.” He let out, scratching his eyes. I was still in a freezing moment, and it took awhile for the anger to settle in. And once it did when I came to my sense, my heart was burning and my eyes flared. With protuberant eyes I stood up from the bench, running my hand through my hair in anger and scoffing loudly. “Why the fuck would you do that to me? Why make me go against my will to love you?” I scowled.

Jeno jerked back at the sudden raise of my voice. He seemed like he didn’t have any words to fight back. He had his head hung low after taking one glance at me, and I knew he didn’t want to meet my eyes out of embarrassment and shame. “So were any of your feelings for me true?” I let out a sound to fireback but I quickly held it back the moment I registered the question. I balled my fist beside me, my eyes beginning to form its well of tears that my pride simply wouldn’t let them fall. “They were, Jeno. Were. But now I can’t tell.” My shuddering voice came out and my words were barely understandable. I turned around sharply to walk away, and instantly the first tear made its way down my cheek. I can’t believe I grew this weak for Jeno.

But after a second thought, I turned back. “You give me the potion to break this one by tomorrow night. That will be the last time I see you.” I wiped off my tear, straightened my back and walked off. Although it seemed like I went away with no regrets nor care for Jeno, my heart was feeling too heavy for my body to bear and the tears were streaming down with no care for the world. I like Jeno, and I still do. But to find out he used a potion on me for his own benefits, I wondered if I was being used. I wondered if I was simply something to fill his void of loneliness. If I was only loving towards him for the sake of it. I had to distance myself from Jeno to sort all this out.

— I’m better than this.

Jeno watched with despair as her figure grew smaller and more out of his reach and disappeared. He knew it would come to this. He knew this exact situation was inevitable the moment he saw the change in her. The falter of her behaviour, the flaws of the love potion. He was thinking about why he never bothered to tell her about the love potion, why he didn’t want to explain it to her in the first place. It wouldn’t be breaking his heart this badly if he told her sooner, right? But then again, with the type of person she was, he knew it would have an impact on him. He wanted to give her an explanation before she walked off, but Jeno’s body and mouth didn’t let him do it for some reason, like it was best for her to leave while he stood rooted to the ground out of his will. “I’ll ask Jisung for the potion breaker...” Jeno whispered to himself. And for the first time in a long time, he broke down in tears, it rushed down his face and he wasn’t sure if his body and heart could even hold up any longer that evening.

That night he asked Jisung to make him the potion breaker. They stayed up till three while Jeno watched him make it. The silence in the dorm kitchen was killing the soul out of Jisung and he hated how Jeno had been piercing his eyes into his back and scrutinising every move he made. Jisung turned around with an angered huff, his forehead creased as lines formed in between his eyebrows. “Can you quit staring at me like that?” Jeno honestly didn’t mean to be this infuriated towards Jisung, especially since Jisung was his favourite youngster amongst the group. He guessed he needed someone to blame for his own actions, to ignore his true feelings And in truth, Jisung was the one that made the love potion which ended up not working effectively. 

Jeno let out a sad sigh and covered his eyes with his palm for a moment before meeting his eyes back to Jisung. “I’m sorry. I just really hate myself right now.” Jeno said, his voice soft and almost weak in a sense. Jisung frowned at the hearing of Jeno’s voice. He knew he was hurting bad, and now he felt bad for lashing out at Jeno. “You’re better than what you did, Jeno.” Jisung whispered softly, turning his attention back to the making of his potion while having his back faced Jeno yet again. Jeno shifted his lips to one side, lifting his body up from the counter behind and walking up to stand beside Jisung with folded arms. “In all honestly...” Jisung began, he took in a deep breath, his chest rising up before exhaling sharply and shaking his head. “I didn’t want to make the love potion because I didn’t remember exactly how to make it in the first place.” Jisung gulped, loud enough for Jeno hear and infer that Jisung was afraid to tell him this, like Jeno would lash out. Instead, Jeno kept silent so Jisung continued. 

“But I felt bad for you. I saw the way you looked at her. I didn’t want you to lose the chance. I’m sorry, Jeno.” Jisung was finally mixing the potion with a glass rod, slowly with a solemn expression. Jeno lets out a breath and snaked his arms around Jisung’s shoulder pulling him closer and patting his chest with his free hand. “It’s fine. You did it out of kindness. I’m the one at fault here for even thinking of using it in the first place.” Jeno said, and his heart was sincere. Jisung hummed and gave him the breaking potion. “Once she drinks it, fix things with her, alright? Give this damn story a happy ending.” Jeno chuckled. “You say as if it’s a novel.” Jisung shurgged. “Kinda is.”

I couldn’t sleep a wink that night. All I thought about was Jeno. When in actuality I planned to forget about him while going home. Funny how I wasn’t able to do something I needed to do. But clearly it’s because I was still in love with Jeno. My mind flashbacked to the times I spent with him, times I wasn’t under the spell of a love potion. My smile, my laughter at his lame but amusing humour. They were real, with or without the potion. Would I look pathetic to went back to him even though he used a love potion on me? Would I look low? Those questions began my spiral down the deep dark hole of my thoughts, and they were travelling to the saddest and worst outcomes I could ever formulate. I really do hate how our minds work sometimes, how we overthink to the farthest end just from one thought. 

Out of pure frustration and inability to sleep, I threw on my hoodie and sweatpants, ready to head for the convenience store to buy cans of beer and drink my thoughts and feelings away. Just when I put my hoodie on the way to the door and placed my hand on the cold doorhandle, the bell rang and I flinced back from the sudden loud ringing. I tiredly let out a sigh and looked through the peephole. My mood didn’t know how to change. Was I relieved to see Jeno standing there nervously with the potion in hand, or angered that I now would not be able to not think of Jeno till I get my can of beer? I pulled down my hoodie more, obscuring my eyes in hopes that I wouldn’t look Jeno in the eye and have myself falling much deeper than I wanted to. I pushed the door handle open and puled the door, Jeno’s figure coming into view. I kept my head down and scratched my tired eyes. “I’m here to give you the potion.” Jeno muttered, hlding it out just slightly away from his body. “I see that.” I snatched it away from him. Just when I wanted to close the dor and end my interaction with him there, his voice made my heart break. 

“Is this really the last time you’ll talk to me?” Jeno’s voice cracked, and I wasn’t sure how the reply. I was feeling a lot of things at once and I hated how I still have yet to untangle the huge ball of it that blocked air into my lungs. “If you know me well enough, I’m a petty person and I’ll give them the silent treatment till I get better.” I slid the potion into the pocket of my hoodie and shoved my hands in there as well. I exhaled with a shrug. “In this case, I don’t know when I’ll feel better. Or I don’t know, trust you again.” I was valid to say that, I thought to myself. I had the right to say it. So why was I feeling something negative spurring in my chest as I let out those words?

“I-” Jeno’s sentence fell sort. He tilted his head up to face the ceiling as if tryign to formulate and answer to say. But in the end he could only drop his head back down and a defeated sigh left his lips. “I’ll wait for you.” Jeno said, as if unable to come up with any better answer in the tense cold air of the night. “Wait? There’s no point in waiting if you don’t earn back my trust.” I replied, and amused tone glinting my words. Jeno gave a sidelong glance before meeting my eyes. God were they soft, pitiful, gentle and loving. “I’ll wait till you get better and sort it out with you. Please just...” Jeno sighed. “I don’t want to let you go, okay?” As much as I hated going back on my own words ad thoughts of defence against Jeno, I bit my lower lip nodded my head. “We’ll see.” 

A long time had passed since I last saw Jeno, or actually talked to him. I did see him very briefly on campus, but I made sure to not serve him even one glance and continued walking though I felt his eyes on me the whole way till I turn a corner. With the bunch of workload I was suddenly given that month, and with the help of coffee, I was able to get myself back on track and focus on my work, slowly going back to who I was-- a hustler with no care for the world other than to get work done. Clearly, Jeno still lingered at the back of my mind, seconds before I want to shut my eyes to sleep. He never left, and I don’t think he ever will. I had nights staying up, just drawing mindless circles while my mind trailed to thinking about Jeno and how he was doing, how he was coping with my loss. Whether he was hurting. I didn’t rule out the possibility that he might not feel anything at all and was putting on a sad front for me. Who knows? I still have yet to trust his feelings for me were real when he used a damn love potion. 

Weeks turned into months and in no time the cold season came, with snow falling in small bits and bringing the freeze into play. One other thing I realised when December came was that my birthday was coming in just few days. One faithful morning I woke up to the doorbell ringing annoyingly loud and repetitively for a couple of cycles while I try to fully wake myself up and lazily walking up to the door. I swung it open and Jaehyun was there to greet me a happy good morning with a small cake in his hand. I laughed and and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. “Red velvet cheesecake!” I screamed, snatching the cake away from him and running back into my dorm. I placed it on the coffee table and grabbed two spoons from the kichen while I heard Jaehyun walking in and closing the door behind him. Jaehyun sat down on the couch and I sat next to him, handing hi the spoon. 

“Not much. I’m not working so I hope this will do. Can I count this as a Christmas present as well?” Jaehyun said in a joking tone, but it seemed like it was agenuine question. I grinned widely and ruffled his hair. “I don’t need presents at this age for a good Christmas. I just need an outing with you and I’m good.” My smiled widely till my eyes formed thin lines and instantly dig into the cheesecake. I didn’t care to notice thid at first, but the flavours that instantly hit my tongue made me moan in satisfaction. “You got this from my favourite cake shop.” I said, dreamily humming. Jaehyun chuckled and nodded his head, scooping a bite for himself. “We always went there and pretended to be a couple to get free food samples please.” I laughed loudly, the memories of when we first began being friends came to mind. “Ah good times indeed.” 

Jaehyun hummed as if he wanted to say something, so I turned my head to look at him from the cake. “You need to get ready by the way. I’m taking you somewhere for another birthday surprise.” I widened my eyes in anticipation, a smirk forming on my lips while a sly smile formned on his. “Alright. Do i need to dress up to look my best?” Jaehyun shrugged with pursed lips after glancing to the side fo a moment. “Well, yeah. He’s like to see you in your prettiest state.” I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “He? Who’s he?” Jaehyun raised in shoulders. “I don’t know.” He waved his hand carelessly, as if dismissing my words. “Now go get ready.” I hissed in annoyance but nodded my head excitedly and went to get ready. I wore the cutest outfit I had, proud of how good I looked when I stood in front of my full length mirror. I went out to the living room, seeing Jaehyun already gathering his things to go. He gave me no time as he was already walking on the door and I had to fastened my pace to meet him at his car outside the building. 

Not surprisingly enough, he had me wearing a blindfold in the car. I guess he wanted the location to be a surprise as well. Fear overwhelmed me when the car stopped and I heard Jaehyun leaving the car to open the door on my side for me. I held tight onto his arm and he gently placed his arm around my shoulders to try his best to lead me to the location without having my lose my step or tripping. Together, I took small wary steps and I was completely clueless as to where we were. It’s as if sight has blocked all my other sense from working and my sense of smell wasn’t working either as all I could smell was the freezing cold and nothing else.

Jaehyun places both his hands firmly on my shoulder and abruptly stopping me. I didn’t know where I was and all I could do was stay frozen at where I stood. Jaehyun slowly lets go of me and I heard his footsteps walking away. I turned around frantically, not even caring if I was facing the right direction. “Do I take the damn blindfold off?!” I shouted loudly, hopefully Jaehyun was able to hear. But there was no reply, instead, I almost fall when I tripped behind my foot at the sudden noise of a very familiar chuckle very close to me. I instantly felt the presence of the person right in front of me. He didn’t need to touch me for me to already feel his warmth. He was quick to wrap an arm around my waist expertly. I wasn’t able to move an inch I was that stunned.

— We're better than this.

I felt the fingers of his free hand touch the blindfold, trailing them to the back of my head to pull the tie and release my eyes from the darkness. It took awhile for my eyes to adjust, but once they did, the first thing I saw were Jeno’s eyes. “You’re still as clumsy as I remembered.” Jeno said in a lowered voice. I couldn’t believe he was standing here. For a moment I forgot that I’d be seeing him again. That we’d eventually forget what we had and move on with our lives. I was enveloped into his warmth with my body pressed up against mine. He slid the blindfold into his pocket and placed his palm on my cheek. They were greeted with warmth instantly as well and I forgot the feeling of the cold biting at my skin.

“And you’re still as pretty as the moment I laid my eyes on you when you walked into that café.” Jeno continued. My mouth was frozen and my tongue could not move. Words that I wanted to say remained in my throat as I have yet to fully process his presence right here. “You’re here, on my birthday?” Jeno smiled softly, ever so soft and small. With a downshift of his head he answered, “You told me you’d wish to spend your birthday with me since you only ever had Jaehyun.” I remembered my words very clearly. I didn’t know he’d even take that into account since I myself didn’t exactly found that as an important information at the time.

“If you haven’t noticed, we’re at our place too.” I adverted my attention to my surroundings. Indeed it was. It was my most favourite place that I visited with Jeno. I’ve never seen the park during winter, and it made my heart burst with a longing feeling as I saw just how beautiful the park had become when it welcomed the snow. “Well um I just wanted to say.” Jeno began, and I turned to look at him. I searched his gaze. They never changed. They looked the same the last time I got up close to him. Nothing about him had changed, I now realised. He was still Jeno.

“My birthday present for you is that I’m about to say the three magic words that I have never said in too long of a time because I never believed love was real. And although I still did that last time, it made me realise that these words are worth for someone who decided to stay with me even though they suspected and knew I used it on them.” Jeno brought his face closer, his warm breath breathing against my skin, particularly my lips. He glanced down at it before staring right into my eyes, as if I was the only person in his vision and everything else around us disappeared. I was the only important thing at that moment, and he was as well. His lips brushed him and he whispered, “I love you.” And we shared a kiss.

It was overwhelming, but in the greatest way possible. His lips were soft and slick even in the freezing cold. I wanted the moment to last longer but he pulled away and quickly said, “Was it okay for me to kiss you?” Jeno had a worrying tone. He was still as cautious as ever. I nodded my head. “I missed you. But you have a lot to make up for.” I replied, pulling him closer by gripping his shirt with both my hands. Jeno gave his puppy smile and nodded. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” And I knew for a fact that he’d never break any promises.

[maybe-its-micheal]

Like an Orange Spark...

/rp /dsmp

Ghostbur watched as Dream, Tommy, and Techno talked. He was sure he had just known what they were discussing, but now the context seemed to slip through his fingers... he was used to the feeling, though, and shrugged it off. He tried for a few minutes to pay attention, but kept forgetting what everyone was talking about, amd decided to do something else. He turned his back to them, and let his eyes wonder across the snowy landscape.

It was really was a lovely day, the leaves of the spruce trees swayed slightly in the chill breeze, leaving shadows dancing on the ground. A few small bushes peaked up over the snow, dotted with red berries, and the sun sat in the center of the cloudless sky. Ghostbur heard a slight rustle from a near by bush, and spotted a hint of blue from behind it.

"Listen, Techno, you owe me. Im calling in that fav-"

"Friend!" Ghostbur yelled, interrupting whatever it was Dream was on about.

Techno's expression, a mix between anger and concern, shifted to pity as he looked over at the ghost. It was odd seeing the man who he'd once fought alongside like this... he was a capable leader, and a dangerous enemy. But that was in another life...

Tommy was tense, and flinched as Dream snapped his head around to glare at Ghostbur. He grumbled something under his breath before turning back to Technoblade. "Look. I dont want to make this a big thing-" Techno put a hand up to interrupt as he gave Dream a serious look. He turned to Ghostbur, handing him a lead.

"Hey, Ghostbur. Me and Tommy need to talk to Dream, but I saw a patch of blue flowers on the other side of the village. How about you take Friend and see if you can find them?" He asked.

"Ok!" He responded excitedly. Blue was his favorite, he was always looking for more. "You guys have fun!"

He tied the lead to Friend and ran his grey fingers through the soft wool. He turned to go, hearing a few hushed sentences as he walked off.

"He shouldn't have to watch something like this," Technoblade whispered.

Dream scoffed. "Not like he'd remember anyway. But now that he's gone, I want Tommy to..."

And the voices trailed off. Wilbur decided to fill the quiet by talking to friend- that always cheered him up! "Today I've been spending lots of time with Technoblade!" he told the sheep. "We brewed a whole bunch of invisibility potions together, it was lovely. You know, I think they may be his favorite kind of potion, he kept going on about how much he wanted to share them with Tommy." He gave a slight chuckle, then stopped walking. He turned around to look back at the group. "Technoblade seems to really like Tommy. I cant imagine why..." he said with a jokey smile, eyes fixed on Tommy. He was a bit hunched over, still looking at the ground. Every so often he looked up, nervously glancing to Dream with big, glossy eyes, and then looking back down. Ghostbur frowned. "Maybe that was a bit mean to say. I was only joking," he clarified to Friend. "Tommy isn't all bad."

Ghostbur turned back around and kept walking. On his way to the village he got to thinking about Tommy... he could be really annoying, there's no denying that, but he also had a lot of good qualities. He remembered when they were first making L'manburg together; those were good times. Tommy had been very brave, then, and determined too. No matter how grim a situation looked he never seemed to be afraid of Dream, he just kept going. Maybe he was just a naive child, but in the end... the details were fuzzy, but Ghostbur was sure that in the end it was Tommy who did something to secure the future of their nation.

In the quiet he couldn't help but overhear some of the conversation taking place back over the hill. Their voices were getting louder, maybe they were all excited about something. A smile dawned on Ghostbur's face- maybe they'd sent him away because they're planning a surprise party! He stopped walking again, and did his best to listen.

"I am not handing him over to-" Techno's voice yelled.

"... control over... give it to me! Him. Give him to me!" Dream responded.

"You've done enough dam..."

"... never should have trusted..."

"I dont want to kill you."

It was hard to keep track of who was saying what, but it didn't sound much like party planning. Ghostbur went back to walking- he could see the wooden roofs of buildings in the distance, which meant he was getting close to the village.

In all the yelling he wondered why he couldn't hear Tommy's voice. Maybe he just hadn't listened hard enough- that was probably it. Being quiet is quite unlike Tommy, Wilbur thought.

"Come on, Techno... favor... my..."

"I dont want... can't betray him agai..."

"...Im sorry."

"Theseus."

Theseus... he wasn't sure why, but that name lit something up in the back of his mind. It was only there for a moment, like a flickering spark. A memory. Phil had told him and Techno about Theseus when they were kids... it was a bedtime story, he thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and shut his eyes, trying to focus on it, and see if he could get the spark to come back. Friend looked at him with a tilted head and bah'ed, as if to ask why they stopped walking.

"... can make a deal..."

"Hand him over... want..."

"I'll never fall for..."

"He's just a kid, Dream. He..."

Wilbur could see the spark in his mind- a little glowing dot of orange bouncing around in an infinite void of grey and blue darkness. Then, all at once, the spark lit up, erupting into a flame that filled his entire mind. Ghostbur jumped backwards with surprise, falling into the snow.

His mind took him back to another time; another life, when he was another person. The war was still going on, the first one with Tommy, Tubbo and Fundy. Eret had already betrayed them.

In his mind, he saw Wilbur- himself- no, Wilbur- standing on the banks of a lake back in Dream SMP territory. An oak path stretched over the water like a bridge, and Dream stood to one side, Tommy on the other. They both held a bow and a few arrows.

Fundy and Tubbo were there with him, and so were George and Sapnap. Everyone was deadly silent, except for Wilbur. He was counting, loud and clear, his voice echoing over the scene.

"...in it for me..."

"...give you... ever want..."

"Fine, its a deal."

"...I'm sorry, Tommy..."

"... Theseus... cliff... the person he took refuge f..."

"...faster."

"... seen it coming."

The talk was drowning out the memory... the firelight was flickering, and peices of the scene were covered with grey darkness and splotches of blue again. Ghostbur was desperate to hold on, he held his head in his hands and pushed his eyes shut tight. "No no no no no," he muttered to himself, hoping for it to stay just a few moments longer. Through the fading light he heard his past self reach the number 10 amd stop counting... Tommy and Dream turned around to face eachother.

"Please, Techno, I dont want to go," Ghostbur heard from back in reality. Tommy's voice was breaking through his memory... it was all falling apart.

"Come on, Tommy. Take off the armor, don't make me do this the hard way," Dream replied.

"I dont want to, Techno. Hes going to kill me, please!"

"I'm not going to kill you if you cooperate. Hurry up," Dream barked.

The memory was almost gone. There was no more Fundy, or Sapnap, or oak path. It was only water as a heap of bubbles disturbed the surface. When they cleared Ghostbur could see Tommy struggling in the water. He was about to reach the air again, but then-

An arrow plunged itself through Tommy's heart, killing him instantly, and it all came flooding back.

He was snapped back to present day, and running back to the three. Friend was left behind in the snow. Dream shot Tommy. That was the memory, how Tommy lost his second life. Dream shot him. "You BASTARD!' He shouted at the top of his lungs as he sprinted back the way he came. "You fucking BASTARD!"

Then the darkness started to come back... Ghostbur balled his hand into a fist. Dream let out a yell... and it all went grey.

Next thing he knew, he was seated with Technoblade in the house. He looked around. "Oooh! You're brewing! Are you making invisibility? Thats your favorite potion," he told the pig. Techno looked up.

"No, its... harming." He replied. "I thought- you know since you're undead it would work kind of like skeletons and zombies."

"Aww, it's for me? Thanks! But why would I need to heal?" He paused, feeling a bit cold. There was a draft- maybe a window was opened upstairs.

"Because-" Techno stopped and looked at the ghost. "Do you not remember?"

Ghostbur paused. "Hmmm... well I know Dream came to visit. And then... something about an arrow? No, that wasn't it... I guess I dont really remember. What happened?"

Technoblade sighed, and set the potion down. "Nothing big. Im just glad youre ok."

Ghostbur laughed, "well yeah! It's not like I could die again!" That draft was getting big- he looked down.

"Oh." He said. There was a massive hole in his yellow sweater, but the grey akin underneath was left unharmed. "How did..?"

"Dont worry about it. Phil is already working on making you a new one, too, by the way. It'll be blue."

Ghostbur gasped. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed with a smile, "thats my favorite color!"

Technoblade chuckled. "I know, Ghostbur. I know."

"I should tell Tommy," the ghost decided. "Where is he?"

Techno's face fell. "He... had to leave."

Ghostbur shrugged. "I don't remember that, when?"

"Just a few minutes ago... he went with Dream."

Ghostbur smiled pleasantly. "Thats nice, they really are such good friends."

"Yeah..." Technoblade replied. "Friends."

[hunterofthemist]

I saw something in the woods

This is the only place I can post this, the only place where people of sound mind would believe me. I’ve read so many stories about the things people have seen, I know they’re true because it’s in my line of work.

I fight the things that hide in the dark and I’ve been doing it for 30 years. I’m one of the best on the job. I’ve seen so many things that can kill a man in 5 seconds flat if they had their pants down. So what I’m saying is I’m used to the monsters, to the things that break your notion of what could be possible.

I haven’t seen something that truly scared me for about 25 years while on the job. The weird part is I wasn’t technically on the job when it happened.

It happened a few days ago, I was on the road back home from a job I had in a small town in Canada. Some strange monster I had to fight, pretty basic stuff.

I was driving through Maine to get back to my home in Kansas. It was nighttime and I still had 24 hours to drive to get home, so I thought I would drive through the night to get there sooner.

So I have this idea to drive through a forest so I can get some fresh air, after all, I enjoy the woods. I think the aura they have is calming, and the job can be stressful so any moment of relaxation I’ll take.

I was really enjoying everything about that moment from the cold air of the wind going by or the smell of the trees and nature around me. But that’s when I heard it.

It was the sound of a person screaming in pain, but it sounded wrong. Wispy and ethereal. I knew exactly what it was, A shifter.

I dont have time to really explain them, but they aren’t that important to what happened.

I slowed the motorcycle to a stop and got off. I grab my knife off my boot and walk into the woods, turning on the flashlight on my collar.

After a few minutes of walking, I saw it, the shifter. One of the strongest ones I’ve seen from its appearance, I turned off my flashlight and attempted to walk back to it so I could get away from it, I did not have the equipment for this beast. I thought it would be a pretty average one, not an alpha.

I’ve seen strong ones tear buses apart with their claws, Im certain that the one I saw could’ve taken down a tank if it was forced to.

But that’s when I heard it. A broken voice crying out in what sounded like pain. “Help me, please God help me! Someone, anyone!”

I could see from the appearance of the shifter, the voice wasn’t one of its prior hunts. It was someone new.

The shifter didn’t even bother to change form, it knew the person wouldn’t be able to get away from how distressed and how much in pain they sounded.

Something about the voice didn’t sound right, It sounded wispy and ethereal with a bit of distortion and crackling, something was copying the shifter. The look on the shifter’s face changed and told me enough, It was scared.

Something came out of the woods in front of the shifter. A shadow walked in front of it and stared at it. Shadow is the best word for what it looked like, It actively sucked up light into it, It was darker than a shadow.

The shadow stared at the shifter and grinned, I could see bright white sharp teeth form into a smile. The shifter started backing up in fear. Before I could process what was happening the shadow willed itself towards the shifter and started tearing the thing to pieces. In a few moments, the shifter was torn to ribbons.

I’ve seen my coworkers slaughtered by shifters, even average ones pose a massive threat if not handled wrong, and this thing scared and killed an alpha with ease.

As the shadow stood over the corpse of the shifter I tried to back up and the noise alerted the shadow. A feeling lodged itself in my head that it knew I was there.

I kept watching, my legs having been frozen still. I see the shadow turn its head up at the sky like it was looking at something and nodded.

Suddenly it snapped its head towards me faster than I could blink. It stared into my very soul, its gaze filled with bloodlust and hatred.

The lock on my legs was broken and I stood up and started running back to my bike. As I ran I swear I could see the thing standing on my peripherals, glaring with rage in its eyes. Even weirder is I swore it was right behind me, getting ever closer.

Eventually, I saw the light of the motorcycle peek through the trees, “A little closer” I kept thinking over and over.

Finally, I hop on the bike and start speeding off, my heart pounding and hands shaking.

I gathered my strength and looked behind me and saw it standing there, watching me.

That’s not the worst part, above the tree line, high in the air. I saw a beast, human in shape.

It was 300 feet tall. featureless, just like the thing that chased me. Just standing there, watching me drive away. Gently swaying from the wind, slowly moving its head to watch me leave.

I dont know what to do, I’ve fought big things, but nothing That big.

I’ve been sitting at home, drinking and watching television to distract myself from what I saw. But even In my dreams, I see it. I told the people I work for what I saw and they still haven’t gotten back to me, I think they dont believe me. I’ve told my coworkers and they think Im joking.

I know what I saw, that things out there and it’s Dangerous.

[tarrevizsla]

idk if you've talked abt this before but what do you think tarre's feelings/reactions are regarding revan and their actions?

YES oh my god that

im gonna put this under a cut bc. yeah

i set up tarre as being about 500 years before revan in the timeline but their lineage is linked to revan's lineage so they almost blame themself for revan's actions especially when revan takes mandalore's mask, this all comes to a head about 2500 years later when the darksaber and revan's holocron are in the same part of the temple vault

see tarre, like most mando'ade, respects revan - their skill in battle, their strategy and strength, their willingness to sacrifice - but more than that she understands revan, one ex-jedi to another. tarre, more than anyone i think, understands why revan felt the need to go to war against the mandalorians - why they chose to leave the jedi and protect those they considered their people.

but seeing the destruction they brought to mandalore and mandalorians, seeing what revan and the exile did at malachor (mandalore the ultimate wielded the darksaber at malachor), the use of the mass shadow generator... like i said tarre understands revan. she knows the lengths people go to to protect that that they love - she has sacrificed much for justice herself. even so, tarre has never flirted with the dark side in the way that revan does, she's somewhere in the grey area of the force but not on the edge of falling like they were, she wouldn't have made that choice (even at war against the republic or the sith).

and the insult of taking mandalore's mask on top of the use of the msg - she can respect it as a political move, but as a mandalorian (a mandalore) she finds it incredibly rude. just as she understands revan, she knows they understand mandalorians, knows that they know what they've done by taking the mask. this is mitigated slightly when they return the mask to canderous ordo - she always had a soft spot for clan ordo - but it isn't the place of an aruetii to determine who gets mandalore's mask, even one with so much mandokar (because revan is one of the most mandokarla jedi, and most mandalorians would be honored to fight by their side as canderous did).

tarre has her own reasons to dislike mental manipulations, on top of generally regarding it as a bad move, so what the jedi council did to revan adds to her distaste for the jedi order even centuries after she left. despite what they did, she still wants to see revan come back to themself - they deserve to be their own person, at the least. everyone deserves that, even darth revan. she holds justice above all things, even vengeance (some would say that they’re the same thing, but tarre knows better) and revan must achieve their justice. (yes, tarre has absolutely been force-ghosting behind revan throughout their adventures, it’s the most entertaining thing since real housewives of mandalore was canceled).

now, here’s the other question - how does revan feel about tarre? and that is also a question with no easy answer - they can respect a mand’alor who was known as a powerful jedi and a fair and good ruler during their time, but they must also scorn someone who left the order, who led an army against the republic (even though they would as well), because the key difference between revan and tarre is that revan was always doing what they thought was best for the republic while tarre did everything she did for justice - mandalore second, but justice first and foremost. and you can get into the deeper implications of that line - i will not remove your mask until there is justice [...] so swears revan - but their justice was still through a republic view, not their own view.

tarre understands revan but revan cannot understand tarre, not for a long time - cannot understand turning their back on the republic and the jedi in the way she did (and this is deeply hypocritical, of course, coming from darth revan - but they still thought they were acting in the republic’s best interests when they were a sith, even as they led armies against the republic and killed jedi).

tarre was never spiteful the way revan could be, never angry - they were not calm but they were controlled, cold instead of fiery the way revan could be. their leadership styles were similar, but at the same time they couldn’t have been more different - tarre had friends where revan had followers and followers where revan had friends (tarre walked among their people when revan walked before them, revan was friends with their generals where tarre demanded (and had) their respect).

so many jedi followed revan over the edge to the dark side, and yet tarre had more friends on the other side, away from the jedi. again, revan had followers where tarre had friends - they didn’t get to know the revanchists or the sith, not truly. they were thrust into the role of leader (they chose it, and yet it was no choice - if they were not revan, then the galaxy would have fallen. this is known). they had no opportunity to rise, they simply were and were not at the same time - they were revan, they were the republic, they were nobody and everybody at once. they spent so much time defending the republic that they didn’t even defend themself, it was inevitable that they fell just as it was inevitable that the republic fell.

revan and tarre both had the habit of forming attachments, and those attachments led them both away from the jedi order (not from jedi teachings, however, which is an entirely different essay). revan’s attachment to the republic, tarre’s attachment to mandalore, and the way the jedi are both separate from the republic and part of its military force at once - both of them had to sacrifice some connection to the jedi to serve their people.

so when they meet, some 2500 years after revan lived, they meet as force ghosts - which is the only reason they don’t immediately throw hands; revan would love to fight another mand’alor and tarre isn’t about to go all ‘there is no emotion, there is peace’ with darth revan right there. instead they spend 50 years stuck in the same room sniping at each other, arguing with each other over tiny contradictions in jedi teachings and tactics in war and leadership. but even with the history between them and their respective peoples, there’s only so much arguing you can do before you start to understand each other, and so 50 years after they meet the arguing has become affable rather than angry.

there’s still a distance between them, that won’t go away - having worn out their arguments, their mutual respect for each other wins out, and they get to reasonable, rational discussions and even some agreements about the finer points of jedi morality (horse shit, your people and justice come first), the sith (make too much of a fuss about being opposite jedi), and even petty things like lightsaber forms (makashi is overwrought and ataru is the way to go to win). and if they ever met without the context of everything that happened between the jedi/republic and mandalore - everything that happened between tarre and the republic and revan and mandalore - they would hit it off fairly well, because their personalities are complementary.

in the end, tarre respects revan a great deal and vice versa. they are far more similar than they really want to think about, and both will always carry a resentment for each other but at the same time they understand each other’s decisions, the choices they made and everything that led them to these choices. if they had lived in the same era - tarre would have been a revanchist, that’s for sure, if she didn’t have ties on mandalore. even while she considered herself part of the jedi order, she thought they needed to be more powerful, more willing to do what had to be done - just like what revan did. revan achieved some things that tarre had dreamed of, and she recognizes and appreciates that.

so does tarre like revan? not really. but she does understand them, and in a way, that’s more important.

[anne-white-star]

Vampire pertwee x reader my love

Notes: reader is a recarnation of jon his past wife takes place during 2021 the pandemic never happend au

Prompt line : 51. I thought you died (alone a long long time ago).

Tag: @watermonkeystuff

Warnings : mention of blood, murder and death

Words: 1920

1871

The life of a vampire can be lonely specaly in a big cold castle. But that changed when he met you, you came at his door wounded, bleeding and close to passing out from the bloodloss.

"Excuse me sir but could you please perhaps help me i was atacked by some robbers they took everything and killed my horse" she was swaying on her feet

"Of course" the tall man said "tell me whats your name ?"

"My name is y/n and i came from (your home town)"

"My goodness thats far away please come in then i can take a look at your wounds".

"Thank you" she started to sway even more with eatch step

"Let me carry you, you clearly arn't able to walk up the stairs"

"Thanks sir"

"Please call me jon" The man picked her up And brought her to one of the many rooms.

That was the night he met you changed him forever

The day he lost you was one of the days he lost his happiness.

You had gone to the market that day to get food for dinner when there was an atack and got slain in the battle it was absolutly horible, you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Jon was absolutly heart broken about the news he got, the men who had killed you left the town and flet, he felt anger to those men and went in search. When jon found them he kiled the men he took plesure in their screams of agony as they lay dying on the pavement of the coblestone road. After that he swore to never kill anyone ever again simply because you would have wanted that.

That was 150 years ago.

2021

Jon had viseted your grave many times after your death, he took care of the plants and brought new flowers everytime the old once had died. "Oh i miss you so mutch my darling, no words can say how mutch i miss you, i just wish that i was there to protect you" he brushed his hand over the beautyfull headstone engraved with your name and a tiny little portrait.

Jon had a broach that was decorated with locks of your hair (that was costume to do back in the day when people were mourning a loved one) he had it pinned on he his white blouse just above his heart, jon dint look out of place of course he stil lived in the old castle and somethimes enjoyed to wear his old outfit but he needed to get with the times he had no Idea what those little boxes were that people used what were they called again? Phones or something.... nevermind he thought

"Thill next time my dear y/n"

He stood up And left your grave, When jon walked out of the cemetery he walked right trough the park, he was looking around at people relaxing and playing until his eyes fell on a woman who sat under a big willow tree that was near the lake, she wore a long back summer dress had (your color and lenght hair) next to her lay a summer hat and in her lap was a sketch book.

Jon took a second good look at her he wasn't dreaming the woman looked exactly like you , it was rude to stare he knew that but he just could't take his eyes off you, he was thinking should i aproace her or not? He srugged and went to her. The woman looked up at the sound of somone walking up to her.

"Hello miss i saw you sitting all alone drawing and i was wondering if you would mind me sitting here with you"

"Oh not at all please sit down"

"Thank you, tell me what are you drawing?"

"I saw a few birds sitting in the tree and i got some insperation to draw them "

"May i see it?"

"Sure" she handed him the book

"It looks amazing mind if i look through the book?"

"Not at all go ahead"

"My my you quite got the talent miss?"

"Oh y/n y/l/n" she held out her hand

"Jon, jon pertwee" he shook her hand

"Nice to meet you jon, tell me have we met before? You look familiar".

"Umm no? I don't think so" of course he knew that they met before you had the exact same name as his wife.

"Oh what a shame I really could have sworn i have seen you before"

"Its fine, tell me dear are you perhaps intresed in taking a walk? "

"Sure why not" y/n put her stuff in a bag and hung it over her shoulder and put the hat on her head.

Jon grabed her arm and leaded the way "tell me y/n What do you do in your daily life?"

"Wel i have a job that im working for and some studdys inbetween"

"Ah i see, what about hobbies?"

"Oh i enjoy drawing in my free time and love music"

"Oh lovely, i had a wife who enjoyed the same hobbies as you"

"Had?"

"Yes unfortanetly she past away some years ago"

"Im sorry to hear that, i bet that the time she spent with you were some of her best"

"Yeah i hope so she was the light of my life, Anyway miss y/n would you like to come with me i really Would love to hear more about you and see more of your art"

"Sure why not " y/n started to pack her things,

Y/n wasn't afraid of him for some reason the felt save with him "so tell me where do you live jon?"

"Wel do you know the old land house up on the Hill outside of town?

"Oh yes i do, sinds a young age i felt drawn to the place even if i have never been inside there"

"Do you have the feeling that its familiar to you in one way ?"

"Now you say so yes i do, i had a dream once that i was inside the house reading infront of the fireplace and then a pair of arms wraped around me and huged me close it was very comforting"

"Hmm strange oh wel, Ah it looks like we are here" Jon opend the door and let her in

Y/n gasped it was exactly like her dream a coutch infront of the fireplace a rug lay on the floor embroidery with flowers, red curtans and beautyfull paintings, what caught her eye was one particular painting wich hangs next to the window, it was one painting of a woman in a victorian dress her hair fell in curly locks over her shoulder and her eyes looked at her.

"She looks just like me"

"That was my wife her name was (your full name) she was the love of my life until she got killed by some robbers"

"When did she die?"

Jon sighed and looked down sadly "she died (your birthdate) in 1871"

Y/n looked at him in shock "hold on somthing is not adding up here, you said she died in 1871 but its now 2021 thats 150 years ago????, what are you?!"

Jon looked up in embaresment "wel the true is that im a vampire i have been alive for over 300 years now"

Y/n was backing away but stoped in her tracks when she got an other vision "Oh my god!"

"Whats wrong? "

"I saw her again and you were there, you took her in she was wounded you took care of her"

"Y/n do you believe in recarnation?"

"Yes"

"When were you born?"

"(Your birthdate) why"

"Because its the exact same month and day that she died but its more than 100 years apart"

"It al makes sens now the visions, the feeling to be drawn to this place seing you in some of my dreams but with blury face my goodness"

"Y/n i hope its not weird but i would love to get to know you better if you don't mind that "

"No of course i wouldn't mind i just need time" she softly smiled

"Are you feeling scared?"

"No not at all i feel really save so save i have never been in my entire life"

"Come with me i want to show you something" jon softly grabed her hand and took her upstairs, they both stoped at a door "this was my wife her bedroom before we got married, i havn't been in here for a long time". He opened the door and they both were greated by a big canopy bed made up with silk (favorite color) sheets

"You can stay here as long as you like y/n, in the closet are some of her dresses they might fit you"

"Thanks jon, is it alright if i look around?"

"Sure dear go ahead, dinner wil be ready in an hour"

"Alright thanks " she smiled once jon was gone y/n started to look around, she aproched the wooden closet that stood against the wall once she opend it She was greated by dresses in all kind of difrent colors and materials " oh my gosh" she wispered she took some of them out the closet

but what was weird to her is that the clothes din't add up with the time line because there were some clothes from the 1880s 1890s and 1900s thill 1910s in there "hmm thats weird oh wel never mind a dress is a dress after all" she took a dress from the late 1880s and a pair of shoes and started to undress

Y/n was suprised with how well it fitted the corset wasn't to tight and she could move freely "it must be faith" she giggled "now lets see what els there is to find"

Y/n aproched the desk that stood in the corner of the room, she sat down in the chair and opend one of the drawers and was greated by art suplise "oh wow" she opend an other one and in there wer some hard cover books y/n grabed one and opend it, it was a portrait of jon then y/n remembered a dream she had once but the thing is that it wasn't a dream but a memory she sat in the garden sketching jon while he sat in the shadows reading a book.

"I really am the rencarnation, my love" she wispered

An hour went by and y/n went down stairs for dinner

"Ah my dear do you Enjoy your new room?"

"Oh its absolutly perfect i love it thank you"

"Its alright dear, now come on lets get dinner i bet that you are starving"

"Jon i got a question"

"Yes"

"What if im in deed a rencarnation of your late wife what then?"

"Then i wil make you imortal so that we could live together forever"

She looked at him '"jon c.. can i kiss you?"

"Of course"

Y/n stood on her tiptoes and placed her lips on his, memories from her past life came back to her "Oh my God i remember everything"

"I thought you died A long long time ago" jon cried softly

"I did but i got a second chance and i promice that this time it Wil be forever"

"Glad to know that dear" he huged her "now comeone lets have dinner"

And both of them knew now that no matter what they will be there for echoter the end

I hope you enjoyed reading 😊

[dayseternal-blog]

i think im running out of naruhina fluff/smut. T-T. Can you help me out? hihi

 🔍

you think you can hide behind anonymous 🧐  I’m quite certain I know who this is haha 😘

And for you, dearest anon, have three completely unfinished, barely started wips (EVIL CACKLES BECAUSE THESE GO NOWHERE)

But actually, if any of these one-shot ideas catch your interest, please let me know and maybe I’ll actually try to finish one of them?

Smutty Soulmate AU, where you meet your soulmate in your dreams each night upon turning 20.

When her alarm jars her from sleep, she’s always only left with a feeling and flashes of color.  Today...she desperately tries to focus, to reach back, to remember…

Excitement.  Red.  Dark.

Her heart beats faster for reasons unknown to her, and there’s no point in trying any harder to slide the experiences of the soul into her brain.  After pointless meditation sessions, longer naps, and all manners of effort with dream diaries and online tips, she’s been resigned to the fact that only her other half can unlock that translation of dreams to memories.  She has yet to meet her soulmate in person.

Ever since her 20th birthday a few months ago, since that nerve wracking night of meeting her soulmate for the first time, going out has been a secret manhunt.  Eyes peeled to every single passersby over the age of 20.  Any one of them could be the person she’s spent the last 200 or so nights with.

So she dresses carefully for a day out with Sakura, Tenten, and Ino.  They’ll be going to the restaurant where Sakura’s fiance works his part-time job.  For all she knows, her soulmate might be there, too.

A guy?  A girl?  Her age?  Much older?  She has no idea what she’ll say to her soulmate, either.  But she imagines that when she sees them, it’ll be like a homecoming.  Planning is unnecessary, right?  When it’s someone you actually see every night?  If they didn’t like her, she can’t imagine why she would wake up every morning with so much residual happiness and longing.

-------------------------------------THAT’S IT @bunny-hoodlum

Ghost-Hunting (Obake Hunt) Comedy Modern AU, Naruto & co. visit a college at night for some scares that take an unexpected turn...

A shadowed driveway leads up the mountain toward the private college.

“Is this it?” Sasuke asks, peering out the car window.

“Yeah, turn here,” Ino instructs.  

“Okay, but why is the place even open at this time of night,” Sakura states, arms crossed with a skeptical expression as Sasuke drives the minivan through the gates, up the grand driveway.  The dorms for the college were built at a separate location down the main thoroughfare.

Ino shrugs.  “They have all kinds of events that go on at night.  I don’t know.”

“At least we know we’re not trespassing if the school’s open.”  Hinata’s soft voice comes over the back seat.  

“I still can’t believe we actually talked you into coming with us!” Ino teases.

Sakura laughs, “We’re having a bad influence on her!”

Hinata shakes her head.  “Actually, I’m amazed that Naruto-kun is here,” she shyly replies.

Sasuke lets out a quiet laugh.  “Doesn’t mean he won’t shit himself if we find a ghost.” 

“Okay!, no!, I won’t shit myself, alright?” he immediately defends.  “...I might just scream a little, but I won’t poop my pants…”  He’s already in a protective stance, arms crossed, back hunched a little.  

Everyone laughs at him, but Hinata takes his hand, smiling half-amusedly, half to comfort him.  “I’ll protect you, Naruto-kun.”

That only makes everyone laugh harder as Naruto sinks into himself in embarrassment.

Despite Ino’s school being open, the parking lot is somewhat empty save for a few cars.  The buildings are magnificent in design, echoing back to an era when arched entryways and stucco were favored over walls of glass.  The hum of cicadas pierce through the still, late summer air.  

The small group of friends silently follow Ino back toward the driveway of the school with only yellowed street lamps lighting the dark sidewalks.  They cross into the street, stopping right in the middle at the fancy traffic meridian.  It’s an odd decorative aspect of the driveway they passed on the way up.  It’s right in the middle of the street, separating the in and out lanes, somewhat built-up and rounded with a grassy patch and flowering bushes planted high on top.  It really only serves to make the school look expensive.

Ino smiles, then whispers, “Put your hand here on the wall.”

“Why?” Sakura asks, also in a whisper.  

“Just feel it.”  

They do, all of them placing their hands on the wall, waiting for something to happen.

“You see how the plaster is kind of rough over there?” she asks.

They nod, their fingers dragging over the rushed job.

“...This is an ancient burial ground,” Ino explains in a hushed tone.

Their hands spring off of the wall, their fingers wide in stress at what they were just touching.

“Ino, what the fuck?!” Naruto hisses, barely containing his volume, his legs already carrying him away from the meridian and onto the side of the street. 

Sakura stares at her hand wide-eyed.  “Oh my gosh, we’re all cursed,” she laments.  She can practically feel the spiritual energy twisting around her fingers. 

Ino snickers.  “That’s what my course major senpais did to me.”

Sasuke and Hinata are silently trailing after Naruto with abject horror on their faces.  Hinata fists her hand uncomfortably against her skirt.  

Once they’re all gathered safely away from the meridian, Ino continues to explain.  “When they were constructing, they found the remains of the ancient natives.”

“So they just built that random thing in the middle of the street to house the bones and then continued on their merry way?” Naruto asks for clarification.

Ino nods.  “After they found them, they built that wall around the burial ground, and apparently they were in a hurry to cover it back up.  They just made the driveway go around it.”

They stand there, staring at the burial ground, picturing the bones just on the other side of the wall they touched, below the grass and bushes.  

“Did you have to make us touch it, though,” Hinata asks, regretfully, with a really sad frown.

“The spirits of the ancient warriors are going to find me and kill me in the dead of the night,” Naruto states, as if it’s already fact.

Ino brushes his paranoia off.  “We’ll, I’m still here, aren’t I?”  

“Note to all of us--don’t do anything Ino tells us to do,” Sasuke says.

Ino gives him a very evil smile.  “That’s not all there is to this place.”

“Why...why am I doing this…” Naruto asks to no one in particular.

She leads them deeper into the center of the school, where a large tree spreads its thick limbs over a beautiful cobbled courtyard.  A simple fountain beneath the tree spouts water, and pennies shine beneath the surface of the circular pool.  The gurgle of the water as it falls is relaxing, serene in the quiet of the night.

“Wow, this is nice,” Sakura says, looking around at the manicured gardens surrounding the courtyard.  

Ino nods.  “A girl hung herself here.”

They turn their attention to the blonde.  Suddenly, the peace of the courtyard feels like an ill omen.

She tilts her head at the large tree.  “They say that when this used to be a mental hospital, a girl got away from her caretakers.  She was found hanging from this tree.”  

They frown at the branches, wondering which one the girl chose.

Ino gestures to steps that lead to an academic building.  “They said that at night, you could see her ghost walking and talking to herself in the corridors, always bringing herself to this tree.  Someone suggested to the school that they build this fountain here to give rest to her spirit.”

“So no one sees her ghost anymore?” Sakura asks. 

Ino shrugs.  “I guess we’ll find out…”

“What?”  Naruto scrunches a face of distaste.

“Let’s go,” Ino invites.  

“Go where…” he whines quietly.

Ino takes the disturbed group down the steps to the building.  “Hm, I wonder if it’s open…”  She pulls the handle.

The door opens.

“Whyyyy is it open…” Naruto groans.

“But actually, though, why,” Sakura states.

“Maybe the teachers are still here?” Hinata suggests.

Ino laughs.  “Psh, what college professor cares that much about their job?”  She holds the door open, inviting them into the building.  “Welcome to the language arts hall.”  

The corridor lights are all on, assuring them that the building is, indeed, open.

They enter the hallway.  Naruto lags behind.  When the door shuts, he opens it again.  “I’m just making sure…”  He tests the handle a couple more times before closing it.  Then he tests it once more for good measure.

“You satisfied?” Sasuke asks.

“I’m just making sure,” he repeats.  

Hinata frowns, imagining the door locking them in while they’re inside the building.  

Naruto’s paranoia is only making things worse.

Ino starts ahead of them, and Naruto has to rush to catch up.  “Wait for me!”

“SHHHH!!” Sakura scolds, finger to her lips.

They stand there, noticing how her shush seems to echo in the hallway.

“This place is really creepy,” Hinata comments quietly.

Ino shrugs.  “Only at night.  I had classes in this building in my first year.” 

“So this place used to be part of the mental hospital?” Sasuke asks.  

“Yeah,” Ino affirms.  She brings them to a classroom.  “You see how there’s this little window that you can use to look inside?”  

They nod, taking turns peeking into one of the dark classrooms.  It’s a normal room with normal desks.

“All of the rooms have this hallway window, you see?  It was so that the nurses could check on the patients.”

“Oh gods,” Naruto mutters.

-------------------------------------THAT’S IT

College Ballet AU, Naruto sees a different side of his quietly reserved friend.

It wasn’t a trick. 

Winter had dragged its sharp claws across the ground as long as it could, but finally, finally, three seasonal false-starts and numerous wilted, early-blooming daffodils later, 

Spring had finally decided to stay for good.

Trees bloomed pastel pinks instead of icy white.  New hopefuls popped out of the wet dirt, ready to face the sun.  Birds were suddenly a real thing again.  

Students strolled across the college campus in shorts and light sweaters, eager to shed the winter coats they had worn for six straight months.

And most importantly…

“The forecast is in the high 50s all week!” Ino announced as she pranced into the room, swinging her dance bag to the floor.

“Oh!!  Remember last spring we had class outside?” Sakura asked, turning her attention to their ballet instructor.

“Can we have class outside, Kurenai?” Ino pleaded, eyes wide in hope.

“Hm, the weather is nice today.  I suppose it is a shame to stay indoors on an afternoon like this,” she considered aloud.

Hinata listened with alarm.  She had never danced outside before, never in her 14 years of dancing.  Yes, she had danced on stage before, had performed in front of many strangers before, but still...  Everyone will see us, she worried.  

“I didn’t bring my speakers today, though,” Kurenai continued.

Before Hinata could feel any relief, Tenten pulled out her tech from her bag.  “You can bluetooth your phone to mine!”  

“Awesome, Tenten!” Sakura exclaimed.

“Oh, please, Kurenai?  Can we have class outside?” the other girls begged.

Hinata already knew her fate.  She was going to have to wear her body-conforming leotard and tights in front of the entire student body.  Nevermind the fact that the last time she had gone barefoot on grass was in elementary school.

They all picked up their belongings and made the quick trip to the center lawn.

As she predicted, many students who were already finished with their classes for the day were enjoying the afternoon weather, laying out in the grass reading or playing frisbee.  

And here they were, in their leotards and tights, about to have their whole ballet practice for all to see.  

“There’s so many people,” she whispered in embarrassment to Sakura.  

The pinkette looked at Hinata in confusion, then sympathy.  “Don’t worry.  Just relax and enjoy the sunshine!  It’s a lot of fun to dance outside.  It feels like…”  Sakura glanced up in thought.  “...Like freedom.  Or like...nature!”

Hinata took a deep breath and nodded.  She slipped off her sandals and lined up with everyone to begin their barre exercises...without a barre.  She spread her toes open to first position and settled her arms and hands into en bas.  

Already she could see curious onlookers watching them, and she could only thank the god above that they were having class in a corner of the field, and not front and center.  

Kurenai glanced over her dancers, noting their prepared positions.  She rattled off the instructions for their plie routine before setting up the speaker and scrolling through her phone’s music menu.

Familiar piano music rose into the air.  

More students glanced around.

Hinata tried not to think that all of their eyes were on her.  Because she knew, logically, that they weren’t all watching only her, but her heart just hadn’t been prepared for this sudden public display.

Eventually, with the right side completed and the combination repeated on the left side, Hinata began to feel less tense.

The students lazing on the lawn returned to their own devices, and only passersby watched as they headed to their destinations.  

She fell into the muscle memory of the exercises, and her focus turned inward on the flow of her arms with the music, of the dart of her toes with the beat, and the alignment of her body.  

It was like Sakura said.  There was a certain freedom she had never felt before in dancing barefoot in the grass under the Spring sun, turning, leaping, and reaching into the fresh air.  

[parkeraul]

PLEASE A ONE SHOT of Tom revieving good treats sighing and closing his eyes !!! Im death !!!!! i need this in my life haha

→ me necesita | t.h.

author’s note — helloooo! i’m so sorry for the long waiting and for this piece so short. lately i’m lacking energy to write for some reason???? but i truly hope you like this little thing. it actually makes NO SENSE AT ALL.

pairing: tom holland x reader

masterlist ┊add yourself to my taglists ┊give me feedbacks.

warnings — smut. plus, this scenario involves only 18+ people, so that’s why i haven’t specified with y/n or whatevs. 

Tom had woken up from an agitated dream for the day ahead of him, a long comic con from the very beginning of the afternoon until the middle of the night. But what he couldn’t let show is that he didn’t sleep more than a couple of hours, because the other ones were energetically disturbing throughout the night. 

He was resting peacefully, mind totally empty and ready to relax and it did work for a while — but his dreams were bothered by a mysterious woman whose face was barely showing, though her silhouette was perfectly standing out from the blurriness of his weird dream. 

She walked in a never–ending way towards him, black dress framing every curve of her body and cascading into a round skirt. The straps were fragile, only there to hold the fabric up and hide the most tempting part of her cleavage. 

There were shadows covering her eyes, only displaying her features from down her nose. She had a gorgeous smile, pretty lips and something about the energy she was exhaling got Tom shifting in bed, pressing his front to the mattress and moving his eyes from side to side underneath his closed eyelids. He knew he wanted her, he wanted to unravel more than the paper–thin black fabric and find out what’s about her that makes he wanna come undone.

He had never experienced a dream so real, so full of anticipation and curiosity. 

Her exposed legs were silky and begging for his hands to caress the smooth flesh, and he craved it so bad he could almost smell the scent of them, or feel the warmth of her thighs close to his lips like he wanted it to be. 

The slight moment when the shadow disappeared and gave him the sight of her entire face, Tom got trapped into the way she looked deeply at him and cursed himself for asking not to get up so soon, because the dream got stolen from him right when she stopped in front of his frame — so close and so far away as she winks him goodbye.

In that small dressing room backstage, Tom closes the door and locks it kind of clumsily. His throat is dry and no matter how many times he gulps, the lump of the anticipation won’t go down. He blames himself quietly for picturing scenarios in his mind the whole time, barely listening to the questions they were asking him. Now here he is, pants tight on his body and shirt squeezing his arms and chest, making the warmness wandering along his skin start to simmer helplessly. 

Tom can’t quite understand why and how he came to this point — his hands were slightly shaking and curling them into fists wasn’t easing the nervousness, the impatience. His rationality isn’t working better than his senses, so his open palms rubs his face roughly and they travel up to his short hair, brushing the small locks back. He tries breathing deeply once, twice, three times and the expected state of stillness went away as fast as it came. 

His hips buck into the air subconsciously.

And that’s it for him.

From the top of his head, Tom’s hands moves to the nape of his neck with the fingers of his left hand hooked together with his right hand ones. They rest there for a few seconds, while he concludes that there is no other way. 

The fingers loosen, and his arms drop down to the shirt tucked inside his trousers. Tom pulls the fabric out of the firm waistband and his index bump into the button of his pants — and he sighs heavily, a trail of chills embracing the nape of his neck and the extension of his arms.

His worked–up mind flies back to her and the image of her silhouette hugged tightly by the black dress. He remembers how the top part squished her chest in the most sinful way, how the swell of her breasts were discreetly calling his attention, begging for kisses all over the skin he didn’t need to touch to know it was so tender. Tom exhales, cursing his imagination for setting the image of that girl starting to kneel down on the white floor, passing her delicate hands along his thick thighs as he undoes the button of his navy blue pants. 

“Holy shit!” He laughs to himself, not believing the power that his thoughts had on him. In his head, she is there on her knees just perfectly, adjusting herself and watching his zipper going down slowly, attentive as Tom feels a weak sensation of relief take over his lower stomach and growing bulge. 

“That’s it, gorgeous,” Tom mutters, discarding his leather belt to the floor. “On your knees for me.”

He tilts his head down and that’s when her utopic company makes its presence solidly, earning the shiest growl out of his throat. She looks up at him through her lashes just like she was looking at him hours ago during the dream. God, she’s got the most breathtakingly pair of eyes, glancing at him expectantly. Tom dares to replay in his head the way she winked at him and the sight of that gets his member twitching, then softening as he frees his lower half from the trousers keeping that warmth playing way too dirtily with his current state. 

Now, there in his fantasy, she’s batting her eyelashes and putting her hair behind her ears, getting ready for what’s about to come. Tom smiles to the memorable image of her unmistakable beauty, and kneeling on the floor in front of him she’s managed to look impossibly prettier — to a point where words of praise and orders couldn’t stop falling from his lips, and he’d never thought someone would acquire such thing in a quick period of time like this. But Tom couldn’t stop himself, her awaiting expression begs silently for instructions and compliments that he’s more than willingly to give away.

“Hands behind your back,” He whispers, holding onto the elastic waistband of his black Calvins as she complies in his brain. Tom needs to take in a sharp breath and resist the dizziness taking over his nerves, mouth watering to the delusion of her arms hooking behind her back, the strap of her dress falling from her shoulder deliberately. Fuck, the things he’d do to actually have her in this exact position right now. “Good girl… That’s a good fuckin’ girl.”

His briefs lower and his aching length springs out, bouncing from side to side and he pictures her staring at it hungrily. The boxers get stuck no further past his crotch, his legs opening faintly just like her lips parting in unison after her tongue swap gently on them to moisten the plump flesh. She bites onto her bottom lip and Tom mirrors the action, seeing the way she leans in with her wanting mouth more than ready to welcome all of him.

Tom holds his own cock and starts to grope the middle of it still weakly, pushing and pulling the mild skin as he opens his eyes lazily to tilt his head back up. He searches for all the air he can get in his lungs as his hand wraps around his dick, tightening the touch gradually whilst his movements never stop. Tom allows his eyes to wander around a blank spot of the room, thinking about how wonderfully it would to be to have those pretty lips covering the leaking tip of his member. He can’t help but hold himself harder, hissing strongly when a pulsating wave of pleasure heats his entire length and increases the coil in his lower abs, “Open up, gorgeous, I know you can take more.” 

He imagines what her face would look like, smirking back at him the best way she can while swallowing his hard cock, mouth completely stuffed — and in his head, she wouldn’t feel satisfied even with most extension of him inside her. Struggling and gasping, she would still lean in for more in his mind and Tom could almost taste the feeling of getting stuck in the beginning of her throat. To that, he swipes his thumb right where his pre–cum is leaking unstoppably, drawing tight circles and massaging his cock with his other fingers and palm. The vein underneath it is quivering, unsatisfied with the slow pace while Tom’s eyes even begin to water from how good it feels. His hand narrows and curls around himself in a fist, pumping the thick length with the might he needs all the way from the base to the head, bringing a moan to erupt from his lips while he thinks about how warm her tongue would feel, how wet and loud the sounds out of her mouth would be. 

“Fuckin’ shit, darlin’,” Tom growls, fastening his moves and clinging his head to the wall behind him. All he can think about is the stubborn strap of her dress falling more, revealing the skin he’s been dying to decorate with hickeys ever since she bent over towards to glance at him with that tempting look in her eyes, “Suck harder, show me what this mouth can do, c’mon.”

   And if Tom only could,

   he’d take a good handful of her hair and shift it into a high ponytail,   

and thrust into her mouth as he bobs her head against himself.

A thin layer of sweat wets his hairline, and he blows the air in his mouth in search of his painful relief. At this point, Tom can’t suppress the groans slipping out of his lips anymore — and he tried biting his lower lip, he tried clenching his jaw but nothing could forbid him. He just hoped no one outside would hear his muffled cries as he pumped himself hardly, making smacking sounds out of his force.

His orgasm begins to come across, so he closes his eyes again and sees her gagging onto him with drooly lips along with watery eyes, his hips bucking against his fist helplessly. She’d take her hands from behind her back to lower both straps of her black dress and display her bare chest to him, staring deep into his brown eyes. The squelching noise out of her stuffed mouth would sound as delicious as the suctions straining his cock, those beautiful–shiny eyes capturing every reaction from Tom, waiting for his release to come.

At this point, Tom is a panting mess. Everything is hot and yet satisfying, making his head spin as he licks his own lips and feels his dick throbbing vigorously, while the rhythm of his movements grow insanely quick. His tip drools more, his hand consequently collects the wetness and soak his extension with it, making his imagination bring him to a state of bliss as it matches with the reality he wanted — his cock covered in a messy humidity, all damp, dripping and immersed in a pleasure he’d never felt before. 

“Stick your tongue out,” He hisses lowly, face contorting in a painful euphoria as his touch grows sloppy. She’d be there with her middle exposed, pinching and rolling her own nipples with her tired mouth still pleasuring him. To the request, she would look up at him with puppy eyes and she just wouldn’t beg for his cum because she wouldn’t dare releasing his member before his high. Tom, in his utopia, would drop her ponytail to hold her by the chin and tilt her head up, taking away most of his length and leaving the red tip inside her drenched mouth. He trembles in both scenarios, moaning accidentally louder in broken sobs as the tight coil explodes and sends the sharpest vibrations of the most delicious orgasm he had given himself — it sparkles through all of his nerves, taking over him in a long high, the longest he’s probably had, “Take it, take it, oh…”

White and hot ribbons would fill her mouth, to which she’d open her mouth for him to see. He comes so hard his vision goes blurry and his legs start to lose stability, pants and sighs echoing throughout the tiny room. She would milk him until the very last drop, not minding how full her tongue is or how much it is holding — she would swallow it little by little, always freeing space to the last shots coming up suddenly and end it with the last deepthroat of the day, catching him by surprise.

Tom breathes in deeply as much as possible, looking down at his flushed cock still hard and the veins pumping, his own cum in so many different spots and distances in front of his tired body. His other hand goes to his forehead, fingers tugging at the short locks of his hair when he realises that this reverie brought him up to cloud nine, feeling a mix of pleasure, frustration and shame. He was so hard for her that it happened so fast, but in his mind it took an eternity — and yet his cock can’t smooth down, he fears that this desire might follow him for the rest of the month, wherever he goes.

In the elevator, thinking the whole day over and over again, Tom sighs and steps out of it as soon as the silver doors open up. When he gets out, his phone vibrates in his pocket with that signature notification sound reverberating across the hallway. 

He takes the phone out, not reading the screen yet due to the sound of keys clicking together as one of the doors of the corridor gets locked. Tom decides to pay attention to the way, watching the lights identifying movements by the sensor and illuminating the space, reflecting on the ground. 

Steps bang against the floor and he brings his eyes up to see the frame in front of him, crossing the opposite direction.

The black dress, putting together all of the details of his daydream just exactly.

Tom even stopped staring at the 11 number craved on his door to watch her walk by, her scent inebriating the entire space and landing onto his nostrils, intoxicating him with a shocking desire.

He totally deadpans, lips parting very timidly but in a thirst he didn’t know he had been feeding.

She winks at him, putting a strand of her hair back and smiling warmly, walking past Tom but turning around to catch the view of him doing the same damn thing. He smiles back, even letting out a little breathy laugh. Was he dreaming again? 

Before he can actually do something, she enters the elevator and he concludes it’s game over. Should he run after her? Should he interview every neighbour to get information?

When Tom looks at the screen to see the time and check if it’s early or late to go after the girl, he spots a message from the doorman.

Mr. Tom, the lady on the apartment 12 asked me for your number. Shall I give it to her?

—

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[blaiddlleuad]

Just never learnt ok? - wolfstar

The common room was deserted. Every student enjoying the last of the summer rays that shone brightly through the grounds of Hogwarts before having to board the train home for the holidays.

All except one of course.

Remus Lupin sat tucked away in the tightest most cosiest corner of the common room, eyes squinting in the dim light trying to read the last pages of his book. He didn't hear when a pair of footsteps came stumbling in and jumped at hearing his name. Cursing when he hit his head against the wall behind him.

"What you doing in there? Been looking for you. " Sirius Black stood proudly, beautiful black locks falling perfectly on his shoulders, stormy grey eyes with a sharp jawline to compliment the natural beauty that came with him.

Sirius was also tanned and Remus wondered if the boy had ever had an imperfection, it looked like the answer was no due to the fact that Sirius Black always looked devilishly handsome, even when he'd been up all night setting up a prank with James.

"Just reading, you knew that. I told you." Remus replied.

"Well come out of there, I wanna show you something."

"What?"

"It's a surprise, come on Lupin. Can't waste any more time!" Sirius was practically jumping with joy and excitement, he pulled Remus out of the tight spot and hauled him up on his feet.

Remus staggered a great 4 inches taller then Sirius's 5ft 6 but he somehow made it seem like he was the shorter one, hunching his back and slouching was much more comfortable than a straight back and a posture like a plank of wood. Sirius on the other hand made sure to rise above others in the sense of being bigger. Broad shoulders and muscles, chin up and fitted clothes to accentuate his even more perfect figure.

Remus could just die at one look at him.

"Oh alright. Lead me the way." Remus said, letting Sirius take his hand and guiding him out to the massive doors that opened up to reveal the large assembly of students situated along the lawn. Sitting down and laughing with friends. Taking in the summer sun, some students had even taken to having a dip in the lake.

Sirius continued to walk with Remus behind him until they got to the forbidden forests clearing. Out of site of the others.

"Uh pads, what we doing here?"

"It's in there."

"What is?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, come along now moony. Got no time to waste!" Sirius grinned and Remus melted more.

His and Sirius relationship was a secret between him, the other marauders, Lily and Marlene. They'd gotten together at the start of 6th year when a prank had backfired and Sirius was not able to lie for a good proportion of the day, ending up in him confessing his secrets to Remus when the two ended up alone.

Remus, thank god, recipicated these feelings and both decided to work out how to be together. Obviously this had done a excilant job and now were still wrapped around each others fingers after 7 months.

The forest was different in the day time then it was when the full moon was out and the night sky drew shadows under trees and bushes, hiding the other creatures the roamed.

The sun filtered down through the branches, birds flew up above and sang songs of sweet harmony's, rabbits hopped away and spiders span webs as the boys made a their way steadily.

"How long?"

"Not yet but soon."

A few minutes later a clearing opened and the sound of water made its way to Remus's ears. Frogs croaked and fish swam as ripples formed on the layer of blue that sparkled. A water fall in the far end covered a cave on the far side of the bank and Remus stood mesmerized by the site. With years of running around this place he's never seen this before.

"Just stumbled across it couple of day ago."

"It's, wow."

Sirius finally and reluctantly let go of Remus's hand and began to take his shoes and socks off before taking his shirt off too.

"W-what you doing?" Remus asked

"Going for a swim. You are too, now take your clothes off, just keep your pants on." Sirius smirked.

"I- what? No, Im ok."

"Oh come on, it's lovely in the water. Not cold and not too warm."

"It's not that, I just um, I er, don't like it."

"Don't like what? The water?" Sirius had now turned to watch Remus stand awkwardly off to the side, ringing his hands and gulping deeply. He looked back to the small lake and it suddenly clicked in his brain.

"Did you ever learn to swim?" He asked walking forward and taking on of Remus's hands in his.

"I, er, um, I guess not." Remus whispered looking everywhere but Sirius's eyes.

"Ok, I'm going to teach you then."

"What? Sirius no. It's ok, really I'm fine. I'll just sit on the bank."

"Don't be silly, it'll be fun. You'll love it."

Sirius waited sitting on the bank with his legs dangling in the water, splashing the fish that dared to come close to him. Remus carefully took of his clothes. Sirius has seen him a many times before; scarred and bruised, a widening pattern of lost memories and tortured turnings. He hated how he looked, opting to hide under large jumpers that were strayed at the cuffs.

But Sirius didn't hate them. He didn't like them as such because of how they happened but that didn't stop him from staring lovingly at the boy with freckles painting his face, soft blonde curls bouncing with every laugh, a hue of amber eyes escaping in the never ending land of dreams from the books that have stayed by his side.

Sirius loved the toothy grin he got, loved the hugs that held the warmth in and the terror out, love the subtle glances of adoration, loved how he could listen to an endless rant of nothing and everything. To put in short Sirius really did love Remus.

"Ok, so how you doing this?"

Sirius floated next to the bank, arms either side of Remus's legs.

"Just hold on, ok?"

"Mmm"

"It'll be ok, trust me."

"Mmm"

Sirius held firmly onto Remus's sides and lowered him into the water. Remus took a sharp breath in and closed his eyes but he trusted Sirius with everything he had left in him and let him continue to lead the way.

Has Sirius did say, the water was just right. Even with that Remus was shaking.

It wasn't like he's never gone swimming before. He'd been down the river has a child but after he was bitten his mother and father forbade him from doing anything that could harm him more than a werewolf could once a month. Since then he's not been exactly scared of water he just doesn't know what to expect. The feat of his parents had transpired to Remus and it's harder than previously thought to shake away that fear.

Remus had somehow been convinced to lay starfish on his back, staring up at the blue patched sky. Sirius was to one side, arms under his back holding him up.

"Nice isn't it?" Sirius asked

"Mmm."

"All you can say?"

"Mmm."

"Alright then, wanna try this one your own"

Remus blinked and shook his head as much a she could without swallowing some of the water.

"No, no I'm good. Stay like this."

"Aw don't be like that, just like having a bath."

"Might be useful if I had one."

Sirius was taken back. He tried to remember all the the times Remus had had a bath but none came to mind. Had he really never had one?

"You're kidding?"

"No, mum was scared I'd drown or something."

"Well nows a better time then ever to try."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Before Remus could get an answer, Sirius had begun to slowly drop his hands from supporting his back. Remus layed still and stiff, he didn't like the feeling of being alone in the water. He closed his eyes and wished it all away, pretending he was elsewhere. Reading a book on dry land, cozied up by the fireplace with a hot chocolate floating near by ready for when he needed to take a sip.

That moment didn't last long as a wave of panic rushed through him. What if his mother's fears came true? What if he drowned? What if Sirius had just left him? What if this was some cruel prank to torment with his fears to get a good laugh?

"P-pads? Y-you still there?"

"Yes, yes I'm still here. You doing great moony." Sirius brought his hand our the water and begun to sooth Remus, stroking his head and pushing his wet locks out the way.

"I don't like it anymore." He whispered

"Ok, let's go to the bank." Sirius had let Remus lach onto him. He was still on his back but his hands were gripping Sirius's arms like never before.

Remus didn't realize how far they had gone out until he opened his eyes and saw that they weren't close enough to the bank that he could get out.

"Sirius, whyd you let us get so far out?" Remus whispered again, he didn't trust himself to go any louder.

"Sorry, just did. Not that big anyways."

Sirius pried of Remus's hands off and Remus clung to the bank for dear life.

"See? Wasn't that bad?"

"Could've have been better. You didn't have to let go!"

"Sorry didn't think that you'd be so frightened by it. Look if it makes you feel any better, we'll go get ice-creams after this, yeah?"

"Ok."

Remus pressed his back against the bank, finding a ledge to put his feet on so he could stand. Sirius brought his hands to hold Remus's face, cupping his cheeks. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist and brought him close so there bodies were touching. Gently they met lips, slow and passionate.

The two had managed to climb out and layed on their backs, side by side. Hands intwined together and heads touching. Watching the trees above them and the birds flying past. They stayed in silence and they listened to the nature around them. Ice creams forgetton about.