#i can hear him downstairs…
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hiding in my room because my dad is angry core 🎀
#um. i’m kinda terrified#jokes lmao he’s not like this all the time i’m okay#i can hear him downstairs…#i still love him he’s a great dad just … sometimes#twiishaa#twisha’s behind the scenes 🎀
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living with boys when you are a girl is just like. everything is fine and fun but do not ever voice discomfort or ask someone to do something they should be doing anyway or remind someone of something that needs to be done because then you are a boring bossy nag and also irrational and unreasonable and hysterical and also kind of a bitch because it was never that deep in the first place and you need to relax and get off their backs and why are you so angry oh my god.
#also being with a group of boys when you are a girl is like. you will be the butt of every joke and if you do anything less than laugh along#with it you’re boring and no one can have a joke with you and it wasn’t that serious and what’s your problem.#sorry just watched two of my flatmates argue and then the guy goes downstairs and you can hear him talking to the other boys abt her like#omg it was NOT that deep she got SO angry…communicating with you can be so exhausting have you even the faintest idea of that…#it’s not even just the boys in my circle either…it is a pattern i see all the time sometimes you just can’t win!#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
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sometimes my dad sleeps on the downstairs couch which would be fine normally but everyone in the house works remotely (im doing unpaid research 😔) and sometimes. hes snoring so loud its getting picked up by my mic when im talking with my research advisor no matter where i am in the house. shits like a plane passive low overhead. (he HAS a sleep apnea machine, but he naps on the couch without it....)
dads with sleep apnea are so advanced at making noises its so mysterious and powerfully loud
#my dad tried one of the machines and he panicked because of claustrophobia. SAD#he might be sleeping on our downstairs couch too that might be why i can hear him more recently#ask#anonymous
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i think it’s very appropriate to my family that even my dog has anxiety
#poor guy my parents are gone tonight#my dad is essentially retired (idk if he’s actually on disability anymore?)#so he’s home all day with him and quetzal (my dog) had terrible separation anxiety#and it seems to be hit or miss whether he’s chill or not#i gotta wonder what it would have been like if i stayed home#he also like. basically lives downstairs cause of his back issues so brining him up and letting him sit by my window in my roo#didn’t seem to keep him settled tonight so now i’m downstairs without my laptop and it’s killing me a bit 😅#bad enough i’ve been so dependent on my phone lately#but at least i’m just blasting stuff on the speakers down here and i have to wonder if people can hear it outside 😅#(i live in a townhome)#i’m sorry i’m really bored lol#mk.op
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ah
#My mom was asked to babysit this kid of a coworker we hate and she has spent a collective 10 minutes with#In three years suddenly around 9 bc apparently he’s going to a bonfire or wjatever#And the kid just arrived and I can hear him downstairs and he’s y6 and I alwnakdjsjsjshsjwjwjsnajwjhjwhhfjsnsnss
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“are the girls going to help you make pierogis?” well no one else is fucking gonna are they? no one else in this house has functional fucking hands apparently
#every Christmas i think about the time we came home from mass and my father said “finally! now we can relax.” and sat down at his computer#and played video games for the next three hours while my mother and sister and i stood six feet away from him in the kitchen making#200 pierogis.#it’s crazy considering the amount of stuff he gets done for him on a daily basis that I would never even think would be done for me by anyo#like bed made for him/all meals/all dishes/food put on his plate for him because he refuses to do it himself/pretty much all errands#whenever he wants tea he just says that want out loud and it gets brought to him by magic#i mean or anything else! he once said “did you say we were having cappuccinos today?” just to no one in particular and we all knew no one h#had said anything of the sort. and then he was given one!#of course he goes to work from 8-6ish every day but other than one day a week it’s remote and has been for years and i can hear him#he is pretty much never not on the phone gossiping with someone#and i don’t begrudge him having a not physically intensive job or anything but im just trying to think of the things he has to do#he makes my mother mow the lawn. i do it when i am home because i think that’s disgraceful.#if my mother begs hard enough he'll do the least amount of yard work possible if it’s something we can’t physically do by ourselves.#but on a daily basis it’s just go to work/eat the breakfast brought to you/eat the lunch brought to you/come downstairs eat the dinner made#for you/play video games until you go to bed in the bed that was made for you in the morning#and on non work days it’s just eat/video games/bed#and like all this to say#he complains more and has a worse attitude than anyone I have ever known in my life#whenever he encounters a minor inconvenience he's talking about how it never ends and he never gets a chance to rest for once#literally any day that’s not spent in complete and total stagnation is considered a failure#he hates when my mother and sister and i are happy like we can’t even play music and laugh in the kitchen while we cook and clean up after#meals because it distracts him from his video games and his YouTube videos about video games and the war in Ukraine#he gets mad when we laugh too much lol like dude you’re pretty lucky you have daughters who can have fun while doing the dishes#considering you haven’t done them in like 20 years#word to the ladies out there btw: my parents used to clean up after dinner together when they first got married. so watch out lmao
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I am going to commit an actual murder
#my brother. is a GROWN ASS MAN. HE SHOULD NOT BE YELLING SO LOUD I CAN HEAR HIM DOWNSTAIRS WITH HEADPHONES ON PLAYING STUFF#OVER A VIDEO GAME.#my sibling is kind of contributing to this but that was earlier and just general bitchery
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autistic people: how do you stay calm when overstimulated or having a meltdown? for example my dog barking, my girlfriend’s loud chewing, or loud noises or bright lights can be really overwhelming and can trigger anxiety/panic attacks or meltdowns. sometimes i get stressed and sometimes i get frustrated and angry and just feel trapped and like i need to scream and cry. what do you do in this scenario? ik i need to work on my patience but when i’m overwhelmed and don’t know what to do i just feel like i’m scrambling
#autistic experiences#autistic#autism#actually autistic#neureodivergent#please help#any advice is appreciated#or if you don’t mind rbing i just feel so overwhelmed right now#now#i don’t want to keep feeling like this#i’m going to take a bath but i can still hear him barking#new puppy has been a big trigger lately#for example he sleeps downstairs#sometimes i need a break from my gf but i can’t go downstairs bc he’s crated and he wakes up and barks and so i feel trapped#i guess we have our spare room tho#my gf likes to say these are solvable problems#i just don’t know the solution
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I started step four but took these out thinking I might put them through steps 1-3 again but now that theyre dry they feel a lot smoother which makes me think I should've moved them on...
One side of the moss agate is super smooth but the side thats been getting a divet ground into it is very rough
The pink ones feel much smoother dry than they did wet.....but they do still have some rough spots where the original rock broke apart....should've taken my big piece of quartz down to see if it fits and how much space for other rocks will be around it
#my dads downstairs telling his jalapeño story again#and my mom and his friend are making fun of him for it#especially his friend cuz they havent known each other that long and he already knows the story by heart#ive been hearing it my whole life from both him and my grandpa#i can repeat it in the exact same tone of voice as my grandpa from memory#anyway#i think i might take the rocks i took out and toss them in the polish#along with a couple other rocks...#i forgot to throw my petrified wood in cuz i wasnt necessarily planning on moving them onto the polish today#it just sort of happened#i felt like step 3 smoothed them out as much as it was going to#tempted to throw the quartz i found last night in too.......its not as smooth tho#but just putting it through the polish might not be as hard on the mica inclusions......#and im doing soft rocks next so if i dont put them through polish now ill have to wait even longer for them...........#and im impatient......
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I simply think that snoring is the single worst adaptation the human body has devised
#i have earplugs in AND white noise blasting and i can still hear him downstairs. awful. sir please turn over in your sleep im begging#i cant sleep if i can hear snoring so who knows when ill finally pass out tonight#sigh. whatever
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they didn’t know i was gay but set the pic for the druggie groupchat to a selfie, w me fully limped
#stream#me#mama … that’s a limp wrist in a CARDIGAN#& they still think of straight - well ONE of them; OR TWO idk i told KP bc he was like ‘wait r u gay’ after he made a joke & i said ‘yea’#lol ALSKALKSLAKSLA HUT THEN HE BLACKED OUT LATER SO I MEAN#who knows what he remembered#GIRL#EARLIER DURING THIS I WAS FULLY KIKING W THIS GIRL THAT ASKED US FOR BACCY FOR A SPLIFF & I WAS LIKE ‘yes queen if ur sharin xx’#& then she did then she was like ‘can u buy us vodka ? x’ & i was like yea why not then found out they’re 17 ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA still#smoked weed but ugh adorbs i remember being 17#ALSKAKSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKLE#they GAVE me the money then i just bought it but still omg where was i going w this#GIRL OK THEY THOIGHT I WANTED HER NUMBER I WAS LIKE ?? why would i want her number ? 😭😭 girl i wanted the WEEEEDDDSD#like i shoulda got her DEALERS number#scream … anyway so this qat is DEFINITELY keepin me up i’m going to kill this mf#IT WAS SPRUNG ON ME TBF#i was just like ‘teehee are y’all chewin xx’ bc they were smoking downstairs & then they were lik ‘YEA WE R GOIN TO & SO R U’ & i was#owo ok !!#it was so fucking funny literally as they were picking up i was picking up weed then i got a call from him bc apparently they were yelling#but i was listening to music so i couldn’t hear 😭😭😭#& there’s a tree that blocks the bench they’re on so i couldn’t even see#i was on AutoPilot i was like :D weed
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hey what’s it mean when you dream about living in your childhood home but like in your current living situation and also the bathroom ceiling is just leaking nonstop piss so much that it’s just spreading down the hallway and everything
#what the FUCK brain#it was a WILD fucking dream#that was just the end of it!#idr exactly where it started#but I was camping and it was raining#and then I got kinda sick? and ppl called an ambulance for some reason idk#we were walking to a more civilized area to meet it which then just turned into a city#the ambulance never showed but we got on like a bus or smth?#and suddenly everyone was Korean and I didn’t understand a thing#and then we had to jump off the bus and I had to do some weird skateboarding thing on like a trash can lid or smth#on flooding streets in the rain down an insane off ramp and and to some park thing idk#and then I was at home and everyone was getting ready for work I heard them all leave#and I had to go to the bathroom and when I got in there it smelled like piss rly bad#and oh the ceiling tiles are moved and wow yeah that’s just piss leaking everywhere?#and it just keeps spreading?#went to roommates room and door was open (weird) w music playing#turn off music and hear him snoring downstairs??#but he left??? WHOMST???#then I woke up
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1000-2000 of my daily steps tracked on my phone come from just pacing my apartment when I'm thinking, scrolling, watching YouTube, and talking on the phone in my free time.
#good lord I forgot how ass working full time is I spend 2/3 of my life sitting or lying down#So when I'm off work and before bed I'm just pacing#at least now that it's nice out i can go out for more frequent walks#I hate going out so mfing much in the dark and cold it's just not happening I've learned#so i just... Pace#my poor downstairs neighbours#they've never once complained even though my cat takes a daily gallop through our hallway a dozen times at 4am#he has the thunderous footfalls of a galloping moose how is that even possible#There's no stopping him either he just continues when I leave after shooting him#He's got the zoomies he's gotta move and I get it. Bc I Pace.#the lady downstairs always talks SUPER loud on the phone like she can't hear well so maybe it's fine :/#personal#sitting is way worse than lying down though like I've I'm being inactive I want to be fully at rest#Sitting is a miserable medium where my legs hates having to stay still but still needs to tense itself into a proper posture position#I meant after shooing* my cat lmao
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I can't SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
#dumb brain#j is at a concert#and i can never fall asleep when he's out and i know he'll be coming home that night#so i try to go to sleep#but then i get weird and anxious and i miss him#i fall asleep best when i can hear him playing Dead Cells or one of the Fallouts downstairs in the living room
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im going to lose it. i clean the bathroom in the morning like i do every friday because i want it to be nice and clean for when i have a bath at night ! and then as soon as my brother wakes up and goes inside ! every ! single ! fucking ! space ! IS COVERED IN HIS FUCKING HAIR !!!!!!!!!! the sink. the counter. the toilet lid. the toilet fucking seat. the sides of the tub. THE ENTIRE FUCKING FLOOR OF THE BATH !!!!!!!!!! is it impossible for you to simply wash your fucking hair down the drain? can you not simply wipe up the hair thats constantly being left on the counters - not only on the counters ! but MY side of the counter ! im sick of this beast !!!!!!!
#my father is always complaining that my brother has long hair and i never cared but you know what im joining him. SHAVE THAT SHIT OFF !!!!!!#if you cant take care of it ! dont have it ! fucking die !!!!!!!!!!!!#GOD its annoying on a regular day but really. today specifically? the One day i go out of my way to clean up our shared space that he never#fucking does !!!!! and even now i can hear him playing his stupid fucking games downstairs on full volume#which means obviously he has today off and its fucking infueriating because i would like to relax in peace thank you very much !!!!!!!#i cant even saying anything because i have things to do and im trying so hard to avoid being upset over stupid shit and falling into a#depression. i just want to be normal and in peace for one fucking day. holy shit.
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tired of this man tired of putting up with him 24/7 tired of hearing his TV that's so loud i can hear it from outside the house and clear through my bedroom. tired of hearing his f*x news dribble, tired of walking past the TV and hearing some right wing lunatic speaking. tired of walking into the basement and the TV is so loud it physically hurts my ears. tired of him not understanding what i'm saying because of his lack of hearing aids and his refusal to listen to what other people are saying. tired of him expecting everyone to do his bidding. right after i get home from an 8 and a half hour day he casually says "it's just about time for the dogs to go out by the way.." as i'm petting them like are u kidding me. do it urself, u are retired. tired of my mom asking someone to take the dogs out as i'm getting ready to leave for work, only for him to look at me and smirk like are you really that dense and entitled?
#can't do anything about it#if i text him asking him to turn it down he turns it off and throws a temper tantrum#and says 'i can't wait until you go back to college'#i ruined his new years eve bc it was 10 pm and i was tired of hearing his loud as fuck TV with his 6 speaker surround sound setup#like there's no volume down button the remote i guess#it's either down or off#and this has been my entire life lol. was torture when he'd order himself a brand new flat screen tv (while being jobless) and his tv would#be so loud it'd vibrate the walls. he'd watch bigbrother and we'd hear the contestants whispering clear as day#like it was so loud#idk dude i just can't#i want to live at home after college so i can not have to pay rent but this is just suffering dude#it's madness#also his absolute refusal to listen to other people#meant#when i made dinner i had a plate of tacos and a plate of 2 chicken quesadillas and i explained which was which and said he can take a taco#and a quesadilla as well as the side dish#and he just took the whole plate of tacos lmfao#does not listen to other ppl#he also just. expects ppl to make his plate and bring it downstairs for him#ugh idk im just tired of it#but housing at my university over the summer is so incredibly expensive#despite the apartments being built in the 1940s and 1960s and being neglected by the university#$200 a week and u can only work 20 hours a week over the summer#i make $10 an hour which is more than a majority of on campus positions#so like. do u just want students to not use ur housing over the summer? it's fucked up
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