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firstagent · 4 years ago

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Since it popped up on the Podcast, how would you rank the sibling dynamics from healthy to trainwreck?

This is an innocent-sounding question until you go over the franchise and realize just how many sibling relationships there are in Digimon and that all but like three of them have elements that might raise eyebrows. In the interest of being comprehensive, this includes all named characters in any anime, manga, and game I’m familiar with, treating the reboot separately and including Survive because... (looks at Kaito and Miu’s bios) ...holy crap.

Sibling Relationship Rankings! (Healthy is Higher)

Joe & Shin Kido (Adventure): Shin understands Joe’s hang-ups and offers support to make his own choices without steering him in any specific direction, for or against the family. And Shuu exists too (depending on the language you’re watching in)

Juri & Masahiko Kato (Tamers): For all of the awkwardness and potential points of fracture in the family, Juri and Masahiko are very close. Fun Fact: She started carrying around her iconic hand puppet to amuse and entertain him!

Keito & Nozomi Tamada (Re:Arise): Even with very different personalities, Keito and Nozomi have a lot of respect for each other. Unlike some big brothers, he comes to a mature conclusion when he realizes she’ll be just fine with Pumpmon at her side.

Yamato Ishida & Takeru Takaishi (Adventure 2020): Yamato’s worry over Takeru only affects his reluctance to take on time-consuming side quests when he might be in danger. Far more chill about trusting Takeru with the rest of the team, he’s a motivation rather than a mental handicap.

Masaru & Chika Daimon (Savers): Perhaps a more controversial pick for the healthier side, but Masaru and Chika have a playful relationship that proves that Chika dishes out as much as anyone in the family. Given how much harm DATS and Digimon have done to the family, Masaru risks her love to keep them away from her.

Joe & Shin Kido (Adventure 2020): Shin’s still supportive and still encourages Joe to make choices for himself, but having that bugout bag ready to go raises some serious questions about that family and which side Shin’s really on.

Ai & Makoto (Tamers): Toddlers fight. It’s okay. They come together for Impmon’s sake and the fact that they’re the only duo in the franchise with mutual custody over a digivice has to say something about the strength of their relationship.

Nene & Kotone Amano (Xros Wars Manga): Nene’s tactics are still desperate but not quite as extreme as the anime, and it counts for so much that Kotone fights so hard for Nene once the tables are turned. And good lord that backstory...

Takuya & Shinya Kanbara (Frontier): There’s definitely a sense of Takuya lapsing into thinking Shinya encapsulates everything frustrating about having an older brother, but he gets over it.

Miyako Inoue + Three (Zero Two): Perfectly normal large household. And while wondering what it would be like to be an only child is something every youngest does... top of mind fantasy, Miyako? Really?

Jianliang & Shaochung Lee (Tamers): Speaking of four-packs... there’s no doubting how much they care about each other, but Jian’s occasional short fuse with Shaochung betrays his usual calm demeanor, and we never get a picture of the full family dynamic once Rinchei and Jaarin are included.

Daisuke & Jun Motomiya (Zero Two): Everyone likes to paint Jun and Daisuke as something uglier than it really is. As much as they annoy each other, it’s still a pretty conventional sibling dynamic and they’d still fight hard for the other... even if the feeling’s closer to obligation.

Koji Minamoto & Koichi Kimura (Frontier): There’s no questioning the bond they develop, but there’s no way Koji and Koichi go from “don’t know the other exists” to “ZOMG Twinzies!” without a ton of awkwardness and feeling each other out. They’ll get better, but from our standpoint this is where we start to drift into trainwreck territory.

Tomoki & Yutaka Himi (Frontier): Tomoki can spin it all he wants but Yutaka comes off as a real jerk. Not that some resentment isn’t a little justified given how much Tomoki is coddled, but taking it upon himself to be the bearer of tough love is still not cool.

Taichi & Hikari Yagami (Adventure 2020): Hikari has a blind faith that Taichi can save the day in any circumstance, up to and including international shipping crisis. Meanwhile Taichi sees Hikari lapsing between typical friendly eight year old to brainwashed robot and doesn’t find any problem with it.

Yamato Ishida & Takeru Takaishi (Adventure): Lessons in how not to be an overprotective big brother. Yamato freaks out at the slightest notion that Takeru might be exposed to danger, including his very presence in the Digital World. When you have a complete nervous breakdown realizing that little bro’s actually pretty capable on his own, it’s not about your relationship with him anymore.

Touma & Relena Norstein (Savers): There’s caring about a little sister, making her plight a central cause in your life, and then involving her in a chess match with a madman. There’s a lot to forgive here (they are raised in a family where your kneejerk reaction to Grandma is “I bet she supported the Nazis in World War II”), but everything about their relationship just makes you uncomfortable.

Kaito & Miu Shinonome (Survive): Maybe it’s not fair since their game is the franchise’s unicorn, but their bios have warning flags all over it. He’s overprotective, ready to fight at the slightest hardship, and she repays this attitude by being rebellious and weird and eager to pursue trouble. May end up being worse once the game actually comes out.

Rei & Hajime Katsura (Appmon): Another one where their backstory makes you sympathize with the lengths they go to in order to stay together, but risking the security of actual guardians to go it alone? Jesus. Even with their ride or die attitude, you still sense a bit of friction in their relationship, and so many of their hardships are their own doing.

Nene & Yuu Amano (Xros Wars): There’s nothing seemingly wrong on the surface between Nene and Yuu, but that’s why their actions are so extreme. Yuu’s more than happy to treat her as an enemy general in his game, while Nene’s aligning herself with dark forces and causing real trouble to get him back. It’s all very loud and intense for a relationship that, without external influences, is just nice and cordial.

Yuuko & Yuugo Kamishiro (Cyber Sleuth): You can be anything you want on the internet! So why not take the identify of your big brother who was stricken with a mystery illness at a young age and lead a legion of hackers? And if you’re Yuugo, use your digital body to take control of that avatar! Nothing weird about any of this!

Ken & Osamu Ichijouji (Zero Two): Like Tomoki, Ken can come up with whatever rationale for Osamu’s abuse he wants, and Osamu at least had some kind moments, but there’s no denying that this family was a mess. And of course Ken’s reaction to Osamu’s death... could have been better.

Taichi & Hikari Yagami (Adventure): Hikari’s introduction to the series was intended to be a little creepy, and that just sets the tone. Her blind loyalty to Taichi is a primary point of emphasis through three series, and Taichi sometimes goes ballistic worrying about her... when not accidentally endangering her life. And that’s before she unleashes a world-destroying abomination at the mere suggestion that Taichi’s dead, and why telling him “what you’re doing is wrong and I kind of hate you for it” is a big moment for her, even though she’s wrong.

Neo & Rei Saiba (V-Tamer): There’s going a little overboard to keep your family together or save a sibling’s life, and then there’s aligning yourself with evil forces to avoid having to deal with your sister’s manageable disability. Call it being jaded or delusional, but when it drives your sister to attempt suicide there are definitely issues you two need to work through.

Erika & Ryuji Mishima (Cyber Sleuth Hackers Memory): Because aligning oneself with Arkadimon is always a fantastic idea. He’s overprotective, she manipulates him because of it, there’s resentment, there’s anger, and basically the entire game is spent watching these two outdo each other in terms of causing wanton destruction throughout the city and cyberspace.

Honorable Mention: Bagramon & DarkKnightmon (Xros Wars): The battle of who can stab the other in the back last.

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partywithponies · 4 years ago

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hi! i've only ever seen the bbc version of father brown and i've never read the books (i know, i'm so sorry), but i'm super curious about the different versions of father brown and you seem like an expert on each adaptation, so i was wondering if you'd be willing to give me a rundown of sorts on each version/series? i know it's a lot to ask and i may be opening the floodgates here, but there's not a ton of info online elsewhere and i'd love to learn more! thanks either way. ciao!

OH BOY YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE ANON

OKAY SO

As briefly as possible:

The books:

Proof people who complain about the BBC show being “too political” don’t actually know the books at all

Father Brown straight up calls capitalism “evil” and “heresy”

Chesterton says that millionaires dying isn’t a tragedy

Inspector Valentin betrayed us and broke my heart, ACAB I guess

Since every police officer he befriends lets him down in some way, Father Brown’s only real friend is Flambeau, who he goes absolutely everywhere with. They only go on holiday with each other. They’ve been all over the world with each other. I love they

Book Father Brown pretty much never does his goddamn job. We literally never in all the books see him giving mass or taking confession. The closest we get is when he gives an impromptu sermon after seemingly coming back from the dead, where he literally only says "You silly, silly people. God bless you all and give you more sense." then runs away to send a telegram. Useless priest. I love him.

Book Flambeau is. Incredible. Amazing. Iconic. None of the adaptations have been able to fully capture book Flambeau’s true energy, for he is a walking contradiction who contains multitudes. If all the onscreen Flambeaus fused into one being, THEN you’d have something vaguely resembling book Flambeau.

Book Flambeau is MASSIVE. He’s at least 6′4, he’s broad shouldered, has huge hands, and his super buff. He can just. Pick people up and throw them. He can knock people unconscious with one punch. He fills doorways when he stands in them. He terrifies most people just by drawing himself up to his full height. He also has a very short temper and a very short patience.

He’s very agile and athletic and can move silently, despite his size. He’s also a master of disguise, somehow. (Explain, Chesterton. Explain. Is everyone in this universe apart from Father Brown, Flambeau, and arguably Valentin massively stupid? Actually don’t answer that I’ve read these books)

Book Flambeau has a habit of flinging people full-bodily down flights of stairs when they anger him or threaten him or Father Brown. Book Flambeau also carries a walking cane with him literally everywhere that has a sword concealed in the handle, plus book Flambeau insists on taking pistols on holiday with him, even when he was just going for a peaceful fishing holiday in the Norfolk Broads. King.

(Which all makes it so iconic that Father Brown, described as tiny and meek and sensitive, saw this man when he was still a hardened criminal on top of all this and said “THIS ONE I LIKE THIS ONE. I JUST THINK HE’S NEAT” and went off on a jolly through London with him.)

Flambeau’s past is extremely mysterious. We no nothing about his family or his childhood or where he’s from or why he turned to crime. We know he used to be a soldier, and a part of him misses it. We know he used to fight duels semi-regularly, and liked them to be fought the very next morning after they were organised. We know he always used to make sure to visit the dentist on time, even when he was a hardened criminal. (King of good teeth.) We know he was in a gang at some point. We know he was a student at some point. We don’t know what he studied, but we know he knew Leonard Quinton in “wild student days in Paris” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). This is literally all we know about his past before he met Father Brown. The man is a riddle wrapped in an enigma. (That’s why Flambeau is so big. He’s full of secrets)

(Fun fact: in the book universe Flambeau is famous and popular in America, so you could say that in universe Flambeau is America’s Favourite Fighting Frenchman.)

Flambeau also loves cats and children, believes in fairies, likes pointing out rocks that look like dragons, and likes giggling and mucking about on the beach with Father Brown. A baby.

One time Father Brown called Flambeau “full of good and pure thoughts”, but I don’t think that’s quite true, Father. I think Father Brown just has endless faith in Flambeau.

Another thing I think is really neat is that it would’ve been so easy to have Father Brown be the genius and Flambeau his dumb muscle sidekick but that’s not the case at all! They’re both geniuses and they’re both each other’s sidekick, and in fact it’s Flambeau who’s the famous professional private detective, Father Brown is just an amateur. Father Brown is often defined by his connection to Flambeau rather than vice versa, both in the text (the text will frequently refer to them as something along the lines of “Flambeau and his friend the priest”, and on two separate occasions a long list of Flambeau’s possessions is ended with “and a priest”), and in universe (Father Brown himself is massively famous in America in universe largely because of “his long connection to Flambeau). I don’t know I just think it’s neat.

One time a man threatened Father Brown with a gun and Flambeau just beat him unconscious and then Father Brown and Flambeau just drove away and left him unconscious on the path. It was awesome.

(I’m sorry I rambled about Flambeau for so many words I just. Really really like Flambeau you guys. Father Brown and Flambeau are like two separate crime drama character tropes, the hard boiled cynical P.I. and the cosy eccentric amateur detective, but together as a double act, and I just think that’s really cool.)

Father Brown himself is if anything even more mysterious. He’s just “Father J. Brown, formerly of Cobhole in Essex, currently London”, and he’s “Flambeau’s friend”, and that’s all. That’s all he needs to be.

I also really really love Father Brown himself. I love that he’s allowed to be cheerful and optimistic and childish without any of this making him less clever, and in fact he’s shown time and time again to be cleverer than grumpy cynics who are scornful of childish things. Like, the whole giggling childlike thing isn’t even some kind of act, he’s a genius who understands true human nature, and he also really really likes puppet shows and building sandcastles who telling fairy stories, he really does get a “childish pleasure” from seeing Flambeau swing his sword-stick, and he really does have “strong personal interest in tomfoolery”. I love him.

I must share my favourite book quote about Father Brown himself: “But neither of them is very like the real Father Brown, who is not broken at all; but goes stumping with his stout umbrella through life, liking most of the people in it; accepting the world as his companion, but never as his judge.” uwu uwu uwu I’m cry.

Chesterton just subverts all the expectations character wise, the cheerful bumbling priest is a genius, the violent criminal is a true hero, the noble police officer is a corrupt self-serving murderer. It’s great. We stan. 10000000/10

(I’m not very good at being brief, am I?)

Father Brown, Detective (1934):

The first movie! It’s completely ridiculous. I love it a lot.

It was released just at the start of Hays Code, which, among other things, stated that crime and immorality should not be glorified or glamourised, and all crime and immorality must be seen to be punished by the end of the film. In practice in the case of this film, this means two things:

Paul Lukas!Flambeau is the only Flambeau to actually go to prison (and stay there).

He’s by far the Flambeau who deserves it the least. Lukas!Flambeau never hurt a soul. He just wanted to be loved. #FreeMyBoyHercule

Okay but in all seriousness. There’s a reason I call Paul Lukas!Flambeau “Himbo Flambeau”. Where other Flambeaus are violent or dangerous or geniuses, Lukas!Flambeau is just a big dumb idiot who respects women and has a great sense of humour and writes all his letters in the third person like Elmo for some reason. I would die for him.

At one point Flambeau in disguise is talking to the police, and when the police criticise Flambeau, disguised Flambeau says “Oh but I assure! I have read many things about this Flambeau! He is a fearless, handsome fellow!” The absolute idiot. I adore him with my whole heart.

The film is set in London, like the books, but an idealised Hollywood version of London, i.e., almost entirely unlike London.

Walter Connolly!Father Brown is also entirely lacking in braincells. Look at these two idiot men:

I love them.

Oh oh! And the most important thing, the thing that carries over into most other adaptations? NEW ORIGINAL CHARACTERS!!

This movie invents a few characters that weren’t in the books, but the most important ones are Mrs Boggs:

She doesn’t really add much to the plot but she’s funny and I love her so I’ll forgive it.

She’s Father Brown’s housekeeper, she’s basically just the fussing maternal female character archetype who fusses around in the background, but she does it well and plays it with charm so I’ll allow it.

(Honestly this whole film is just. Not *technically* good or original, but just so charming and with so much heart that I unironically adore it.)

She tries to make Father Brown drink his milk because it’s good for him even though he doesn’t like it, and keeps checking back in on him to make sure he’s drunk it, it’s literally like a mother and her small child.

She objects to policemen in the presbytery because of their “big muddy boots on the carpet” but is fine with just letting Flambeau in whenever despite the prevailing rumour in London being that Flambeau killed a man. We stan a queen of having priorities.

When Inspector Valentine summons Father Brown to the station, Mrs Boggs pops up in the background, assumes Father Brown’s being arrested, and says “Oh dear, I knew it!” and it makes me giggle like an idiot every time.

The other, more important original character invented for this movie is my girl Evelyn Fischer:

I love her, I would die for her, she’s flawless.

She’s basically your typical bored and rebellious young aristocrat, but she has a chaotic streak that I adore.

She sneaks out of her family’s mansion to go to a seedy underground club/illegal gambling ring in Soho (I mean I assume it’s Soho, a seedy part of London in that general vicinity, at least. I’m not about to get bogged down trying to understand the geography of London according to Hollywood), flirts with a bunch of strangers for fun, then when the police raid the place and everyone else is panicking she stands stock still, cheerfully says “Oh goody, I shall probably get my name in the papers!” and has to be physically dragged out of the building by Flambeau.

Later on Flambeau breaks into her bedroom in the middle of the night and she’s just very calmly like “What are you doing?”, and even when she finds out it’s Flambeau, a man widely believed to be dangerous and violent, instead of being scared, she calls him an idiot right to his face.

She forms the third part of the main trio of the movie with Father Brown and Flambeau (RIP to Valentine, demoted to tertiary character in a loose adaptation of the one (1) story where he was the main character lol) and together the three of them share a single braincell and have to take turns with it, while Mrs Boggs fusses in the background at the trio’s increasingly bonkers decisions.

The movie ends with Father Brown and Evelyn sharing an emotional farewell with Flambeau through the window of a police car and promising to look after each other until Flambeau’s released, wow poly rights.

The Adventures of Father Brown (1945):

The adaptation there’s the least amount of information about, but I’ve done my best to find everything I can find on it.

An American radio show made towards the end of wartime, it’s a bit of an odd one, and believe me Father Brown adaptations have gone some odd places.

Only two episodes survive, or at least if more do survive then whoever has them is being very selfish and hoarding them to themselves because only two episodes are publicly available anywhere, and the audio quality of those is a bit dodge. (Though that is to be expected, they do appear to be home recordings, from 1945. Honestly we should be grateful to even have two full episodes.)

If the actors I’ve found are the right people, this show featured by far the youngest Father Brown and Flambeau, at the start of the show the actor playing Father Brown was only 36 and the actor playing Flambeau was only 27. They’re BABIES. (Honestly I’d like to see more age variation in Father Brown adaptations, as I have extensively rambled about before, the characters have literally no canon ages in the books, I think people ought to be a little more imaginative instead of always building on the adaptations that came before, even if it is really cool to see traces of all the previous adaptations in each new one that comes along. It’s something I haven’t noticed as much in adaptations of other golden age detective novels, but the Father Brown adaptations do seem to be stuck in some kind of game of “yes, AND” with each other. I would REALLY like to see an adaptation where Flambeau is older than Father Brown though, it's just something we've never had before despite there being literally nothing in the books to suggest this can't be the case, and I just think it'd be neat.)

This show is really really painfully American, in a real old fashioned "golly gee whizz mister" kind of way, to the point it almost feels like a parody, and I honestly find it kind of endearing.

Even Flambeau frequently slips into a very American accent to the point that my affectionate nickname for him is "The All-American Flambeau", and it's great. He's great.

Honestly I could accept the accents and the slang, for some reason the only thing that really threw me was Father Brown referring to money in cents and nickels.

Needless to say, this adaptation is not set in London. It is instead set in Generic Unspecified Smalltown USA. It's fine. This is fine. I already have so many films and shows set in London, I can swallow my London pride and let America have this.

It's hard to get a real grasp on characters from just two episodes, but I like this Father Brown and Flambeau, even if they are a little overly serious, and even if Flambeau doesn't really do much. He may be a bit serious and a bit useless but All-American Flambeau stays up late anxiously waiting for Father Brown to get home safely and it's very sweet. What a good boy.

All-American Flambeau also carries handcuffs around with him for some reason? But no weapons? Why is All-American Flambeau one of the few Flambeaus not to have a gun? Oh well, he's still sweet.

The 1945 radio show also gives us some original characters, but they're very much side characters and not part of the main plot and it's very hard to get a good grasp on a character from just a few minutes of audio from just two episodes but here's what I could gather:

Nora is another fussing housekeeper! She seems younger and less maternal than Mrs Boggs, but I don't know if that's just because the whole cast was on the younger side. (Could the radio station not find anyone over the age of 40? Were they in short supply in 1945 or something? Ah well.) She seems dedicated to helping Father Brown get some peace and quiet that he never goddamn gets because someone always goes and gets themselves murdered. In both surviving episodes a knock at the door disturbs Father Brown’s rest, Nora opens it professionally, sees it's Flambeau, and immediately drops the professionalism and is immediately like "oh it's only you", so I can only assume every episode started this way. I do hope so.

Father Peter is a junior priest who answers to Father Brown and takes over his duties on his days off. He's implied by the dialogue to be considerably younger than Father Brown, Nora, and Flambeau, but if their actors are anything to go by then they're not that old themselves, and though Father Brown seems to talk to Father Peter like he's a literal child, he is still a priest so I very much doubt that's the case. He seems sweet and harmless, but he's only in one of the surviving episodes and only in that towards the end and mentioned briefly at the start, so it's hard to judge completely. It's highly unlikely that the reason he's not even mentioned in the later surviving episode is because he turned out to secretly be an evil murderer, but, this being a Father Brown adaptation, not entirely unfounded. (But no, he's probably just a sweet boy who exists to have exposition delivered to him.)

Father Brown/The Detective (1954):

The Alec Guinness movie! The one haters of any of the other adaptations complain that adaptation isn't more like, but in my humble opinion, actually the worst adaptation.

Like, I don't hate it! The cast is mostly stellar actors and if I just saw it as a movie on its own, it'd probably be fine. But as a Father Brown adaptation watched in context of the books and the other adaptations, it has a few issues imo.

Most glaringly it has Tone Issues. This film cannot decide if it's a comedy or not. The original posters certainly marketed it as one (see above) and half the cast are noted comic actors who were famous at the time for comedy, goddamn SID JAMES is in it, but the entire third act is played painfully straight, half the cast is mugging for the camera and trying way too hard to be funny while the other cast is giving extremely serious and subtle performances, like. I have no problem with a Father Brown adaptation being played for laughs, and I have no problem with a Father Brown adaptation being played for drama, both can work beautifully, but just PICK ONE, PLEASE

All of my other gripes with the film are very petty and nitpicky, this film calls Father Brown and Flambeau "Ignatius Brown" and "Gustav Flambeau" even though Father Brown has the canon first initial "J" and Flambeau has the canon first name "Hercule", and I hate it a lot. "Ignatius and Gustav" is the second worst thing any Father Brown adaptation has ever done to me.

My other petty nitpick with the movie is that it makes Flambeau literal nobility. The man is a duke. In my opinion Flambeau should always either have a completely mysterious past or be a nobody who came from nothing, someone who grew up with land and title and many servants and a family coat of arms, living in a whole entire castle with his family name and coat of arms engraved into the side of it, growing up and stealing from people, is a whole lot less sympathetic in my opinion. Like to be fair his parents are dead which is sad I guess and his castle has seen better days, but dude. You still own a castle. People who live in castles do not get to lecture other people about materialism.

THAT SAID, Peter Finch is still the best thing about the movie. I love all Flambeaus dearly, even the ones that are little bitches. He’s a bit of an emo “oh woe is me” sadboy, but he’s very charming, and actually good at disguises and being undercover, get dunked on Lukas!Flambeau.

Guinness!Brown likes to feed ducks and Flambeau calls him “the angel with the flaming umbrella”, which makes my inner Good Omens fan who loves finding parallels between Aziraphale & Crowley and Father Brown & Flambeau go 👀

There is one really good scene, in the Paris Catacombs. And by “good” I mean “really really bafflingly gay”:

I truly, truly do not understand how this scene was written, directed, acted, filmed, and edited without ANYONE saying “hey lads does this seem a bit gay to you?”

Father Brown, literally lying on top of Flambeau and pinning him to the ground, whispering: “I would like to set you free.” Flambeau, softly, gently smiling while his face is literal inches away from Father Brown, who is still pinning him to the ground: “Ah, now I begin to understand what you are.”

What the fuck, you guys. What the entire fuck. This scene keeps me up at night.

ANYWAY

This film is also not set in London. It is instead mostly set in a rural English village, and partially in Paris and partially in rural France. Paris is fun but I miss London.

This film also has some original characters. I should probably talk about them.

This is Lady Warren:

She’s Father Brown’s friend, and she’s a Lady, and that’s all I can really tell you.

She’s very well-mannered and dignified and sophisticated.

She gives me the vibe that she exists solely because the writers decided they needed a female character but then remembered at the last minute they had no idea how to write women, so as a result she is almost entirely irrelevant to the plot. I don’t want to say I don’t like her, because she’s done nothing wrong and it’s not her fault, but like. Why is she here? Poor thing, she deserved to be plot-relevant, really.

She lives in a big mansion and owns some very nice things, and she gets annoyed when she invites Father Brown to lunch but he just stares blankly into space thinking about Flambeau the whole time. (Mood honestly FB. Me too.)

She flirts a bit with Flambeau in one very pointless scene that came the hell out of nowhere, went nowhere, and was never mentioned again. It was like the writers realised how gay the previous Flambeau scene was and suddenly tried to convince me this man is a hetero. Nice try, writers. You can’t fool me that easily.

The other main original character is Bert:

Alright, own up, whose bright idea was it to put Sid James in a Father Brown movie?

Bert is a smalltime criminal who’s a friend of Father Brown, who Father Brown protects from the police, but tries to convince to get on the straight and narrow by getting him as a job as Lady Warren’s chauffer.

This is would be fine, were it not for the fact he’s played by Sid James, who only knows how to play Sid James, and is just Sid Jamesing it up in every scene. I don’t have anything against Sid James. I like my fair share of Carry On films. But Sid James does not belong in Father Brown and I want to fight whoever decided he did.

Father Brown (1974):

LADS LADS LADS! It’s time for the first TV show, and it’s time for my favourite boys:

Oh! OH! How I love Kenneth More!Brown and Dennis Burgess!Flambeau. They’re just. So cute. My two special boys.

Not only that, but LADS! We’re finally back in London!

A gritty, dirty, London in the 1930s no less, with cool London buses and political unrest and grimy pubs and the constant threat of world war. Alexa this is so cool play London Calling.

In one episode Flambeau gets verbally abused by an anti-immigration right-wing zealot. :( My poor boy. :(

(But it’s okay, shortly after Father Brown witnesses this, the racist shows up dead in exactly the place Father Brown earlier said would be a good place to commit a murder. Now I’m not accusing Father Brown of murder, BUT)

This show made the bold but valid decision to skip Flambeau’s redemption arc and start the show when Flambeau is already a seasoned and respected private detective who’s lived in London and been Father Brown’s closest friend for many years. As a result this Father Brown and Flambeau are ridiculously domestic with each other. Look at this peak Old Married Couple energy:

Oh! I just love them.

I would love to know how Burgess!Flambeau’s redemption went down though, because Burgess!Flambeau is BY FAR the least repentant of all the reformed Flambeaus. He proudly boasts about his crimes, he still believes he “deserved to succeed”, he still proudly talks about how “daring and outrageous” he was, which begs the question of why did he stop at all? Literally the only explanation I can think of is that he’s literally only doing this for Father Brown’s sake, which. uwu

Oh GOD I love Burgess!Flambeau. Obviously I love all Flambeaus a lot, and choosing a favourite feels like choosing a favourite child, but let’s just say: if the Flambeaus WERE my children, Burgess!Flambeau would be quite spoilt. My ~ Daring And Outrageous ~ boy.

More!Brown and Burgess!Flambeau are both really really socially awkward, uncomfortable in crowds, and nervously say “oh dear” a lot. They really are ridiculously cute.

They also only giggle and joke and act silly when they’re together, when they’re apart they’re both sort of sad and quiet and withdrawn. (This makes episodes Flambeau isn’t in a bit harder to watch because Father Brown is just kind of lost and lonely without his emotional support Frenchman, with three notable exceptions: that time Father Brown infodumped about the mating habits of whales at the Father Superior for a solid minute, that time Father Brown met a dog and reacted with unrestrained delight, and that time someone mentioned former criminals in passing and Father Brown’s whole face lit up and he started gushing about how Flambeau was living in London now and doing very well as a private detective, completely unprompted.)

This show also brought back book!Brown and Flambeau’s habit of always going on holiday together! Wonderful! We love to see it!

This show is also the first time in the entire Father Brown franchise where gay people are overtly acknowledged to exist! And Father Brown is non-judgemental! A roman catholic priest written in the 1970s and living in the 1930s who canonically isn’t homophobic! I have no choice but to stan forever!

You remember what I said about liking to point out Good Omens parallels? WELL

Kenneth More!Father Brown and Dennis Burgess!Flambeau both live in London

Burgess!Flambeau lives in a brightly lit, pale walled, airy and spacious, modern (for the time) London apartment, while More!Brown prefers gothic architecture and lives in an old, grey, cramped, stone building absolutely full floor to ceiling with books

They go out for intimate candlelit dinners for two at very fancy London restaurants

Desperate people come to Flambeau because he “knows the game on both sides of the fence”

Father Brown responds with a quiet and miserable “oh dear” when asked to actually do his job instead of just watching plays and drinking wine

Father Brown calls Flambeau “my dear” at times and it personally kills me

I mean. I’m just saying. 👀

Now, isn’t there a third important character in the books?

Oh yes of course:

HIM! THE BASTARD MAN! INSPECTOR VALENTIN HIMSELF!

(Nobody understands him! IT’S NOT! EVIL!)

This show is the literally only adaptation to include the Valentin betrayal and I’m not gonna lie. It’s a very difficult episode to sit through, it’s far darker and grimmer and more depressing than you would ever expect from Father Brown, but my god it’s done so well. Especially considering the teeny tiny budget they clearly had, only four sets are used the entire episode and the whole thing takes place inside Valentin’s house, but even that adds a certain claustrophobic atmosphere and just. It’s done so well.

I think the entire budget went on gore effects because the decapitated heads in this episode are disturbingly realistic for the time the show was made and genuinely grim to look at. Not to mention the intense downer ending. Not to mention this was THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE SHOW

THE INTENSE DOWNER ENDING OF THIS EPISODE IS HOW THE WHOLE SHOW ENDED

God it hurts so much but I lowkey love it.

Father Brown Stories (1984):

The second radio series, and the first BBC adaptation!

Thrilling times for fans of actors being the right nationality for their characters, because after previously being played by a Hungarian, an American, an Englishman, and a Welshman, Flambeau is finally being played by a Frenchman, Olivier Pierre!

Father Brown himself is played by Andrew Sachs, Manuel himself.

Not gonna lie. It’s kind of hard to figure out how to explain the radio show.

We’re? Maybe back in London? Honestly it’s really unclear.

Pierre!Flambeau is kind of adorable. He’s described as looking like book!Flambeau physically, huge and buff and terrifying, but he has literally none of the temper or predisposition to violence.

Pierre!Flambeau doesn’t speak very good English at all, and oftentimes will react with “...What?” when he hears a strange English idiom or turn of phrase.

One time he says “Perhaps we should.. push on? SEE HOW I AM MASTERING YOUR ENGLISH IDIOMS” and it’s the cutest thing that’s ever happened.

To try and get better at understanding both the English language and the English people, Flambeau starts obsessively reading Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, massive giant adorable boy.

One time Father Brown gets complimented of being academically minded and well read, and then asked if Flambeau is also a keen reader, and when Flambeau tries to say no, Father Brown interrupts and proudly and earnestly says “Oh yes! Monsieur Flambeau is one of our top Lewis Carroll scholars!”, it’s honestly adorable.

This adaptation finally uses “John” as Father Brown’s first name, as it should always have been! I love it!

This series said FUCK Father Brown having a mysterious past and no former friends or relatives! Now he has siblings, and friends who knew him before he was a priest who still call him “John”!

Father Brown himself speaks in a very sweet and soft and wavering way that makes my heart melt.

Sadly and unfortunately, I have to acknowledge the final episode of the show, which is the top worst thing any Father Brown adaptation has ever done to me.

It’s. It’s a crossover. With Sherlock Holmes. Actual goddamn Sherlock Holmes is in it. I hate it. I hate it so much. “Elementary, my dear Flambeau” shut the hell up, if this Flambeau won’t fling you down a flight of stairs then I will.

I deliberately avoided all Holmes-related media for THREE YEARS only for the awful man to spring up on me in Father Brown?? How could you do this to me???

I’m going to yeet myself into the sun, bye everyone.

(On the plus side, the Sherlock Holmes episode does have one of Father Brown’s parishioners recognise Flambeau as “a close friend of Father Brown and a frequent visitor to his room” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), so that’s nice I suppose. I’ll still never forgive the writers of this show for putting me through this.)

Father Brown (2013):

YOU ARE HERE.

I kind of see the current TV series as a culmination of all the adaptations that’ve come before? I can definitely see echoes of all of them in it.

And it’s great! I really really love it. I love it a lot.

I think about it daily.

My one and only complaint I would have is that Flambeau isn’t in it enough. Not just because he’s my favourite, though I’d obviously not be fooling anyone who’s read all this if I said he isn’t.

And it’s not that I don’t love the show as it is, and find the one Flambeau episode a series always something really special, so I don’t know what I’d have the writers do, exactly.

But it’s just. In literally every other version of Father Brown, Flambeau is the second most important character and the second main protagonist, and to have him in this show so little that some fans or reviewers call him a “minor character” and others call him a “recurring villain”, though I myself don’t see him either of those ways of course because he’s still Flambeau, it’s just kinda sad and painful, y’know?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being silly.

Hopefully he’s a regular in at least the final season of the show. If I don’t get my favourite partners in crime solving I’m rioting.

Anyway that’s my “””brief””” rundown on all the main versions of Father Brown!! I hope you liked it!!

#Anonymous #father brown #hercule flambeau #flambrown

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ehehehelokidbyhiddles · 3 years ago

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Okay, just finished episode 2. Just in case it's not obvious, there will be spoilers here. There will also be some opinions that you may not agree with. That's fine but don't come after me in replies about it. I'm allowed to have my own opinion on things and express that. This is also pretty long lol. Okay, with that out for the way, here are my thoughts:

I enjoyed this one much more than the first.

I laughed a little at Loki vs Miss Minutes. It was a bit out of character in my opinion but I can reason it that being stuck at the TVA (and apparently having to study) must get boring. Especially if you have a cheery little cartoon character hanging around.

Loki seemed a little more Loki-like in this episode too which I liked. The moment at the renaissance fair was good at first. I thought we were getting some 'old' Loki before the end bit. I know there will be people who disagree in my perception of Loki as a character (and that's fine. You can interpret him anyway you like but so can I) but he's over a thousand years old, not to mention the God of Lies. It's silly for him to let his manipulation be so obvious like that.

Unfortunately, some of the campy stuff was still there in his character (I cringe everytime I see the 'I'd never do it again' clip. People really find that so funny?). It was bearable though. He was less 'cartoon-y' in this episode, at least.

The interaction with Mobius was great for the most part. Hiddles and Owen Wilson have great chemistry on screen. They play well off each other. I still don't know if I trust Mobius fully but, at face value, it really seems that Mobius wants to believe in Loki and trust him. I feel like it could be a front though and he has his own agenda. I could be wrong though.

As silly as it was, I actually (and believe me, it surprised me too) enjoyed Loki's method of causing a scene in Pompeii. I think the reason it didn't bother me like the other silly aspects of the last episode, is that it shows how done Loki is with all of this while also trying to prove he's right. And really, how iconic Loki can you get than him grinning maniacally as a volcano erupts in the background. Very God of Mischief that we never really got see much of in the movies.

I was a bit disappointed with the fight near the end of the episode. It wasn't bad but it showed nothing of Loki's usual fighting style. Sure, he didn't have his daggers but he usually moves a lot more fluidly when fighting than he does in this episode. We could assume that Lady Loki infused her host's bodies with super strength (otherwise they probably would have died considering Loki's body weight is 500 pounds. That display he got thrown into should have been a bit more destroyed because of that, in my opinion) but still, Loki usually fights a lot better than what we saw, even when up against formidable enemies. I guess writing Loki trying to use a dagger on Thanos was a slippery slope to some weird combat choices. I won't go on because then it will probably turn into a bad writing rant.

Anyway, I was also disappointed with the Lady Loki reveal. I predicted that she would be the Loki that's killing the minute men but I had hoped she would look more like comic Lady Loki. Why blonde? It just doesn't make sense for her not to have dark hair too. That look is iconic. Blonde just makes me think of Amora, the Enchantress. I'm just going to have to headcannon that it's to help stay under the radar, even though that excuse doesn't work. She can do illusions, after all. So far, I'm really pleased with the actress that's playing her though (don't know her name, forgive me). Can't wait to see more of her. Ooh, I just thought of a what if. Obviously it's not the case because Loki would have reacted more when she revealed herself but it could have a been cool twist. What if Lady Loki was actually Sigyn, Loki's wife turned evil? It would have tied in well considering the next episode is called The Ex Factor. If anyone wants to write that fic, go ahead lol.

Last point and it is very nit picky. When Loki and Mobius go to one of the places, you can see their breath, indicating it is cold. Loki's breath shouldn't really be visible though, should it? The way I understand it, your breath becomes visible in the cold because your body heat is interacting with the coldness (or something like that. I'm not a scientist). Loki is a Frost giant and doesn't have much, if any body heat. We know that from the Avengers movie where, on the screen, you can see Loki's heat signature in the glass cell. It was freezing cold. I know, its a very nit picky thing and you can reason that Loki uses his magic to make his body less Jotunn-like (because we know how much he hates being one). Still, it was something I immediately picked up on.

All in all, I liked the episode. If the rest of the show continues like this, I think I'll enjoy it. Like I said, it was definitely a step up from the first one.

One final note before I leave you, we all have to appreciate how great Loki looks in the TVA uniform. Sure, I miss his usual armour but he does look very handsome (still not a fan of the hair)

Oh, almost forgot, I did laugh quite a bit when they were showing the different Loki variants. Especially the normal looking one with the trophy. It looked like someone dug out one of Tom's photos from his Eton rugby playing days. Please give us more subtle jokes like this.

#loki laufeyson #loki #tom hiddleston #loki tv show #loki tv series #loki odinson

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qwertyfingers · 4 years ago

Note

Not to be too forward but please drop your TNG watch order.

okay tng is. complex. here’s how i’d do it I think. I’m jumping about a lot, and I’m also struggling to remember a lot of it because my first watch was 7 years ago and my rewatch w friends we just did Sherlock Holmes and then went straight into chronological order. so this is like, combo of a handful of eps I remember being plot important and just stuff that makes me laugh.

Elementary, My Dear Data (S2E3) and Ship In A Bottle (S6E12). a) introduces you perfectly to the concept of holodeck episodes, which will be important later b) DaForge married gay energy off the charts c) Picard is really fun. the only failing of this as a start is the tragic lack of Guinan

ALL of the Q eps. Speedrun the Qcard nonsense and get a lot of the overall show plot

Encounter at Farpoint (S1E1 and S1E2)

Hide and Q (S1E10) - unnervingly babyfaced Riker. you could skip this one but it lays some good basis for who the Q continuum are, but it’s kind of fun

Q Who (S2E16) - borg introduction! absolute must watch. The insanity of ‘to learn about you is frankly provocative… but you’re next of kin to chaos’ as a line alone, let alone the voice Patrick Stewart gives to it. Iconic episode.

Deja Q (S3E13) - Q getting turned into a human as punishment for being a naughty boy. V funny, must watch

QPid (S4E20 babeyyyyy) - MUST WATCH one of thee funniest episodes and experiencing the QCard speedrun from farpoint to qpid is a very special kind of brainworms

True Q (S6E6) - this one is skippable tbh, but it is pretty fond and I’m personally fond of running a full Q supercut

Tapestry (S6E15) - this one isn’t as fun as most Q eps but it is VERY TNG-ish and therefore a must watch. If you’ll forgive the pun, it really gets at the heart of Picard’s character

All Good Things (S7E25 and S7E26) - as with most Star Trek finales it’s not the best. You don’t have to watch this here but it can be a fun bookend for the Q speedrun

You could also go watch DS9’s Q-Less (S1E6) if you’d like to see Q get punched in the face, it’s really very satisfying

You kind of have to watch The Best of Both Worlds (S3E26 and S4E1). If you’ve seen TNG before, you don’t need to worry about when you watch it. If you haven’t seen any TNG yet, watch it here.

Darmok (S5E2) - THEE most star trek of all star trek’s. hmu if you ever want me to rant about Darmok I have a whole badly-structured personal essay about it ready to go at all times

Disaster (S5E5) - Geordi and Crusher teamup is really fun, and ‘executive officer in charge of radishes’ is the best line in all 7 seasons of TNG

Schisms (S6E5) - you could just watch from the opening until Data’s poetry recital ngl. The ep is decent and I’d personally watch it all but this ep is mostly about Data’s poetry.

Sub Rosa (S7E14) - Crusher fucks a ghost. iconic behaviour

Dixon Hill eps! They’re fun and silly and much like watching TOS’ A Piece of The Action

The Big Goodbye (S1E12)

Manhunt (S2E19) - Lwxana. I’d do anything for Lwxana

Clues (S4E14) - Guinan as Gloria is so much fun I love her and she should have got a full episode!!!!!

The Measure of a Man (S2E9) - important Federation and Data lore. Very emotional.

Yesterday’s Enterprise (S3E16) - Tasha’a back!!!!!!!! Just a very cool ep imo

Hero Worship (S5E11) - Extremely good Data ep, good content about Federation attitude to mental illness

Datalore (S1E12) - another important Data ep, and Lore is laways fun

The Offspring (S3E16) - Data wants to be a dad!!!

I, Borg (S5 E23) - HUGH!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT HUGH!!!!!!!!! (I like to watch this right after The Offspring because it’s direct parallels of geordi and data just wanting to take care of people)

Brothers (S4E18) - more Data (And Lore) content

Descent (S6E26 and S7E1) - not required watching, but Lore is fun and evil

Fistful of Datas (S6E7) - EXTREMELY SILLY GOOD FUN ALLROUND. CAN NEVER GO WRONG W ACOWBOY EP

Sarek (S3E23) - I can’t remember the plot I just know Sarek shows up in a lavender robe and has mad chemistry with Picard. I’m pretty sure they mind meld really hard??? Lord help me the old men you put on this spaceship to do politics are exploring eachothers’ minds in the most intimate manner possible <3

Unification (S5E7 and S5E8) - Spock attempts to re-unify Romulus and Vulcan. Iconic 2-parter, but definitely the kind of episode that benefits from watching with a friend so you can add commentary

if you like Romulan episodes you could watch the full Sela arc before this one (The Mind’s Eye S4E24, Redemption S4E26/S5E1, Unification)

Face of The Enemy (S6E14) - I can’t remember the entire plot but I’m pretty sure it was good and I love a good Romulan ep

The Host (S4E23) - Trill introduction!!!! So good.

The Game (S5E6) - profoundly stupid but worth it for how funny the graphics for the game are

Cause and Effect (S5E18) - just a pretty cool one

Time’s Arrow (S5E26 and S6E1) - One of TNG’s strongest plots imo

The Inner Light (S5E25) - another banger plot; Picard gets hit by a psychic probe and lives an entire life in a history that has already happened. there’s a really good Spones fic based on this episode and I could read an au like this for any ship I swear

Relics (S6E4) - Scotty!!!! It’s fun

Chain of Command (S6E10 and S6E11) - another one of TNG’s strongest plots. The origin of the ‘there are FOUR lights’ meme.

Birthright (S6E16 and S6E17) - this is an infamous double parter but all I actually remember is Julian Bashir appearing and meeting Data

Ensign Ro’s intro ep Ensign Ro (S5E03) i LOVE her

The Next Phase (S5E24) - cool ep where Ro and Geordi get stuck out of phase and are invisible from the crew, pretty fun

and the end of her arc with Preemptive Strike (S7E24)

I personally love Barclay and just choose to live in a universe where the misogyny wasn’t happening and he was just a weird little man, but if he bothers you, you can skip his arc. Don’t skip Genesis tho it’s good

Hollow Pursuits (S3E21)

The Nth Degree (S4E19)

Realm of Fear (S6E2)

Genesis (S7E19) - perfectly batshit star trek fake science. I love it

Masks (S7E17) - extremely silly and therefore fantastic

after this point I’d go back and watch in order all the way through, or look up a watch order for eps that are actually important plot-wise :’)

#st tng #long post #mine #tv

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2o2o-kit · 4 years ago

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An American’s Thoughts on Horrible Histories Songs

Born 2 Rule: Iconic, really set the stage for Horrible Histories, not my favorite George III song though that prize goes to Hamilton, (also I was always taught George III was mad in an angry way)

Wives of Henry VIII: This song walked so Six can run, still iconic

Making a Mummy: Kind of forgettable, but if we are going by the pattern as seen in the first two, I predict the next big history musical will be about making mummies

The Tudors: I don’t know why but I love this song’s intro, but I find the dance moves cringe worthy

Georgian Lady: It’s great when you can read along to it, but Martha is still iconic

I’m a Knight: I love the whole Monty Python inspiration, this always makes me smile, just pure wholesome knight energy, one of my favorite season 1 songs

Caveman Love: It gets better the more you listen to it

It’s Not True: Probably my least favorite Horrible Histories song, still better than most songs on the radio

The Plague: The plague was made for musical theatre, besides this check out Spamalot and Something Rotten

British Things: Drags on a bit, but haha Britain, you are not perfect, (but America is far from perfect)

We are Greek: It’s king boring, but lyrics are still pretty clever

Burke and Hare: I’m not a fan of this TBH, maybe it’s because I’m not a huge fan of true crime and stuff like that, it’s not that catchy either

Literally: Nothing like an 80s rock parody, it’s also one of the funniest songs

Charles II: This was the first HH song I listened to and I’m glad, because it’s a banger, and this is probably the closest you will get to a kid friendly Eminem

Spartan Musical: This is so camp and just you have to watch to understand

WWII Girls: Katy Wix needs to be in more songs, I love the costumes in this

George IV: I’m obsessed with this one, Jim’s vocals in this are perfection, definitely one of my favorite of the whole series, I wish I could belt like that

Blackbeard: The acting in this is perfection, I still laugh while watching it

Victorian inventions: I’m not a big fan of this type of music, but it’s still funny

Hieroglyphics: Idk why Mat did a Texas accent, and I’m not sure but it’s not bad, but it’s not as great as the other songs

Cowboys: The accents are good but I could go without all the farts

Boudicca: This is an inspiration

Funky Monks: I’m not a big fan of this one, it’s funny but I wish they had more singing in this, but Terry is great as always

Pachacuti: At first I was bit nervous to watch it because of the brown face, and yes it’s in there and I also thought it would be too cheesy but that’s the point and makes it so much fun, also what’s a northern accent

Dick Turpin: For most people it’s the guyliner that makes this a thirst trap, for me it’s all the tricorn hats 😍. When I first watched this video I recently developed my tricorn fetish and this song was just... The music to this is great too, I listen to this daily. And imagine me learning that this thirst trap’s name is Dick

Monarchs: Iconic, super helpful, now I can name all the English monarchs, thanks

William Wallace: Better than Braveheart, seems like a lot of fun to film

Work! Terrible Work: Hey look theatre reference, this so is definitely not a mood booster, but those sideburns (and I’m not really into sideburns)

Ra ra Cleopatra: Martha is killing it, and I love all the Lady Gaga references

Richard III: Thanks for talking about the horrors of Tudor Propaganda and the lyrics in this are amazing

Evil Emperors: If you claim your bad, don’t make such a catchy song that can easily be confused as another thirst trap, love the parody and Caligula and Nero and some of my favorite HH characters

Suffragettes: This song proved how hard these ladies worked, also I want to sing this song with others, who’s in?

Ain’t Stain Alive: Okay just like Pachacuti, I’m sure this song can’t work today, but it’s great, so catchy and the screams, also the behind the scenes of this is iconic

Age of Stone: I like how it explains the time periods but I’m not really a big fan of how it was presented

English Civil War: The choreography is on point, Lawry needed to be in more songs and I love the song they parodied, it’s Cool from West Side Story

Celtic Boast Battle: I don’t know, I find it a bit too much but the ending is perfection

RAF Pilots: Now I’m not big on war history, epically WWII, but song is perfection, I love the coloring used for this, the music is just awesome, and this along with The Captain from Ghosts and Molly McIntire are proving the WWII is gay

Nature Selection: I’ve been using this phrase a lot during the pandemic,

The Thinkers: Alright, no strong opinions

It’s a New World: A jam, love the shade of how the pilgrims treated the natives, and it’s a great parody altogether, also I need a New New Castle now

Mary Seacole: So catchy I love it, and the dancing is great. I wish they didn’t cut out that one lyric about Florence because that’s important

Victoria and Albert: It’s kind of slow, but I can see why others like it, maybe it’s just because I’m alone

Blue Blooded Blues: I don’t really like Blues music, even though I’ve lived in cities known for their blues, but James Cape™️, GAAAYYYY!!!

The Luddites: Definitely one of my favorites, I love the cinematography, the costumes are my type, and nothing like historical heavy metal, ironic right, and Jim has the vocal range

The Borgia Family: I love everything about this, the music, the accents, costumes, this is better than the Showtime series, wish Ben got a solo in this song though, (also is it just me or do the Borgias remind you of the Trumps expect the Borgias are more like able)

Mary I: It’s okay, Sarah in this is great and it’s a great parody but I always thought of Mary having a deeper voice (I know weird)

William Shakespeare and the Quills: I love Shakespeare, but I’m not a big fan of this type of music, also I low key wish Shakespeare was sexy in this one

Georgian Navy: Please forgive my star spangled ass, but I’m not a fan of the British military during the Georgian era, and yes I know Nelson didn’t really fight in the American Revolution, but I’m not a big fan of war history

Flame: Will get stuck in your head, but who cares it’s an awesome parody, Jesse Owens in amazing, we love Jim’s Nero, and Mat you said you were all nude (I feel cheated)

Death’s Favorite Things: Hilarious, and a mood for me

Rosa Parks: Now Rosa’s story is something we get drilled in our heads in America, which is good, this song is so catchy and I love the costumes, but the ending did say ‘segregation was ended in America,’ but technically...

Vikings and Garfunkel: Aww so peaceful,

Charles Dickens: I love the music on this and the cinematograph, but there is something about it that I’m not a big fan of it, but I’m not sure what

Crassus Minted: A freaking underrated banger, just like the real Crassus

Joan of Arc: I’m sorry but this song is a bit cringe worthy but still way better than the new seasons

Alexander the Great: I mean is there any other song that can truly depict Alex

Owain Glynwr: Wish they had more Welsh history on the show but Tom Jones parody I never knew I needed

Transportation: The dancing in this is amaze, and I’m obsessed with Ben’s accent in this, how is his Midwestern accent better than mine, and I have a Midwestern accent, (stop making me like Henry Ford!) and I love whenever they do musical parodies

Henry VII: This song makes me want to be Henry VII, he made the monarchy great again

Matilda Stephen and Henry: There are more ABBA references in this than a production of Mamma Mia, and it’s brilliant,

Australia: I’m surprised they got away with saying Hellhole in this, but still very catchy, low key wish Thomas sang this in Ghosts

Cousins: It’s silly and I like it

Love Rats: Lyrics make me want to remain single, video is having me crush on actors that are old enough to be my parents

Final: Supersweet, but I can only watch it once because it makes me emotional

#horrible histories #my opinion #history

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rizahawkais · 4 years ago

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I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

#the crown #queen elizabeth #prince philip #princess margaret #princess anne #princess diana #prince charles #margaret thatcher #asks #i talk too much

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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X-Men Evolution Reviewcaps: Rogue Recruit

My series long look at X-Men Evolution rolls on as eveyrone’s favorite goth reworking of everyone’s faviorite southerner debuts. The X-Men and Mystique race to bring Rogue to her side after her powers accidently coma a boy. The X-Men try the usual compasion.. while Mystique just tries attempted murder and gaslighting while wearing a wolverine costume. Mother of the year! Meanwhile Kurt tries to get Kitty to likes him, Kitty does something profoundly stupid to prove Wolverine wrong that ends up proving him right, and Wolverine grumbles and is kind of an asshole. Well at least one of those is just an average tuesday for him. We’re going Rogue, Rogue, Rouuuuggeeee under the cut.

Onto episode 3 though this time I did actually get around to watching a few in a row, so while i’m not MILES ahead of this episode, I do have a better sense of where things are going and where this falls in line with everything else. And this is a big one as it’s the debut of Rogue, easily one of the shows more popular characters from what I can tell and it’s no real suprise. In most incarnations Rogue is a huge fan faviorite, with a tragic but very useful and intresting power that makes for good stories.. and okay in the comics and carton she’s also fanservice incarnate, but that’s not exactly a factor here so moving on. And here is no exception as naturally, with her goth apperance, and general moody outsider atittude, she was a huge hit with goths and emos one and all! And eveyrone really, it’s a good take despite being almost the oppsite of the angsty but still fesity and funloving 90′s version.. and the ironic part is BOTH are entirely accurate to the comics. And yes like the last time about to dive a bit into the comics.. but unlike the shiar thing this is throughly relevant to how the character is portrayed here and a neat history less for those not in the know, so buckle up.

What’s intresting is both adapt the character.. just at vastly diffrent points. See most probably think of Rogue as she is now: Bubbly, Scrappy and able to throw a man into a mountain, if still understandably mopey about not being able to touch anyone, thoguh that issues come and gone a dozen times by now because comic books can’t resisit undoing things to meet fan expectations despite most dedicated fans wanting some fucking change once in a while.

But that’s due to years and years of character development: When Chris Claremont first intorduced her, in an avengers annual no less.. she was a villain, a member of her adopted mother Mystique’s brotherhood of evil mutants, and unlike here, we’ll get into that, she was a fully willing member at first, gleefuly following her mama’s orders to drain the powers of one of Mystique’s most hated enemy: Carol Danvers, aka Ms Marvel and the future Captain Marvel. Yeah this one takes some explination for you non-comic fans, and even some of you comic fans who might not get how one of the more iconic x-men villians has personal beef with Carol.... granted i’m pretty sure half the marvel unvierse has personal beef with Carol in present day after Civil War II, especially tony for murdering him, but story for another time. It’s actually pretty simple: Chris Claremont was writer of x-men for a decade and easily the most important x-men writer period who created a ton of iconic and well loved characters and shaped Cyclops, Charles Xavier and Magneto into the characters fans know and love among others. And around the same time as his x-men run’s early years in the late 70′s, he was writer of Ms Marvel, and took Carol from a half hearted girl counterpart to the first Captain Marvel with a wonky two identties gimmick, into the asskicker and feminist icon we know today. As such Mystique debuted there and when that book ended, Claremont slided her over to the x-men and the rest is history. And this wasn’t an isolated incident: Sabertooth, aka wolverine’s arch enemy and one of hte more famous mutant baddies, debuted in, of all comic books, iron fist, with Claremont bringing him back years and years later as part of the mutant massacreing Marauders, while Misty Knight and Coleen Wing were breifly supporting characters in x-men inbetween Iron Fist’s cancelation and Iron Fist becoming bros for life with Luke Cage and forming the heroes for hire, bringing the two along as supporting characters in the process. It’s a process writers have contiuned to this day; Bringing a character from other unrelated comics in to keep them out of comic book limbo and one i’m in favor of: as long as their writing the character well and they fit why not. And like her momma Rogue DIDN’T debut in the pages of X-Men, but in Avengers Annual #10. And no Chris wasn’t writing avengers, though it wasn’t really unusual for another writer to hop in for one annual to pinch hit for the regular writer for whatever reason, with Chris Claremont being one of the few who wrote every annual himself for his run on X-Men. What was is he did so for one reason and one only: To get justice for Carol Danvers after a recent story had screwed her over BAD. Two things before we start: If you haven’t heard of this debacle, my apologizes and rape and abuse trigger warning. If you want to skip this portion of the review just ctrl f HIGHER FASTER FURTHER MORE and you can move right on past this clusterfuck and the aftermath. Anyways in Avengers 200, Carol gave birth via terribly contrived mystical pregnancy to Marcus, son of avengers foe and sometimes ally immortus and creepy asshole. Marcus is revaled to have brainwashed carol into loving him , and making love to him so yeah he raped her physically and mentally and the story ends iwth the “Happy ending” of him whisking carol away with him to his limbo dimension while everyone else is fine with it despite him admitting to using the “subtle manipulations of his machines” to make her love him. So yeah, he kidnapped carol to his limbo dimension, mind controlled her, had his way with her, had her give birth to him so he could come to earth then took her back with him.. and not ONE avenger raced a hand, shield, repulsor or hammer, and yes the big three avengers were very much present for this debacle and very much cuplable. IT’s a throughly disgusting hideous story i’ve only see played out thanks to Linkara, long time comics reviewer and all around sweet guy, reviewing it, though with the panels show to show yes all of this is there, and have no intrest in EVER reaading this vile piece of garbage. If your still curious or after just hearing about it want to see it torn to shreds, here’s the review for you.

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It’s terrible for a variety of other reasons. Naturally Chris, who’d put a LOT of time into building up carol and like any creator who sees their character throughly dragged through the mud, was PISSSSSED.. and so were fans who rightly rioted at the issue, so editorial was more than happy to let one of thier biggest draws right the ship and also allowed him to take Carol back home to the x-men with him. As for how that happened, after Rogue stole her powers, Carol fell in a river and was rescued by her best friend and fellow Chris Claremont alumnis Spider-Woman, Jessica Drew, who brought her to the x-men since she was a friend of theirs, where charles fixed her mind, though Carol was left with no emotoins attached to most of her memoreis. When the avengers, after scrapping with the brotherhood in some neat bouts, came to visit their friend.. Carol instead laid into them for letting Marcus take her, poitned out just how fucked up it was as well as how, and this actually happend, the avengers downplayed her concerns and tried to get her to connect with her demon spawn instead of worrying about her while others made jokes. Basically just one long page of chris claremont unloading on the issue and Carol unloading on her former friends before staying with her new ones. And to the issues credit the rest of the team. .takes it, is utterly devistated to realize what they’d done, and reflects on if they can ever make up for it or if they even deserve forgivness. She would eventually, mostly because people wanted to forget this story after that for good reason, but it’s still a damn cathartic moment. HIGHER FASTER FURTHER MORE.. so yeah Carol was now with the x-men, who did end up meeting Rogue during a mission to wipe themselves from goverment records for good reason. And to his credit Chris not only used Carol’s lack of emotions tied to her memories for good drama but gave carol a huge power upgrade as binary, if your curious as to where her glowy headed distctrugion of an entire starfleet in her solo film came from. So okay after about a paragraph not really involving her we get into why this is so important to rogue’s character; Rogue now had Carol’s personality and memories trapped in her head and her mind was blurring between them, something this episode would use, and was falling apart as a result and with her moms Mystique and Destiny unable to help a despearate scared and repetnant Rogue went to her last hope for help saving her sanity and her soul: The X-Men. The X-Men, having both fought her and bonded heavily with her victim, naturally were less than pleased about this, and Colossus outright attacked Rogue before charles stopped him, not unresonably given the circumstances. However after talking with her and realizing both how badly she needed her help and how genuinely she wanted to change, going from a brat in love with her own power to a scared young woman terrified of what she’d done and what she was becoming, decided to roll her into the x-men. And everyone revolted: Carol was understadanbly piss and famously punched Rogue into orbit, while the rest of the x-men threatned to walk. Charles however refused to back down and gave one of his finest speech and one of the characters best moments:

To me this is Charles Xavier, a man who will accept and try to help anyone, regardless of their past, because it’s the right thing.. because they deserve a chance and he will GIVE IT TO THEM. It’s a powerful and well done moment and the x-men relucntantly take her in as a result, eventually seeing her as family as she proved herself. So yeah THAT is why I took so long to get here and went through ALL of this: Because this series adapts this period in it’s own unique way, taking out Rogue’s outright villiany mind, but leaving in her being a moodier, more closed off person who is constantly afraid of once again stealing someone’s very soul. She still has her confidence, as idd the comics version, it’s just tempered by a wall she puts up between her and everyone else that wasn’t as present by the time the 90′s series adapted her. And there are other bits i’ll get to as we go and in future episodes, I just felt this story was important as it colors Rogue’s journey here, hence me taking a good portion of the review to dive into it and even then I have more bits to give as we go. So with all this exposition that’s probably lost ya’s out of the way, this is Rogue Recurit. Pitter Patter. We open in the mighty Missisipi, neighbor to my home state of missouri and home of the deep fried shoe. No wait that’s connecticut my mistake. We meet our unfriendly neighborhood goth moping outside, not really enjoying the dance and probably only having gone because her mom told her not to.. Destiny not Myistque mind. More on that in a minute. She’s being watched by two guys: Cody, who if you know your x-men lore you know this never ends well for him, and his friend uh.. let me check my noootes (Checks wiki while shuffling papers to simulate notes) Ty. Turns out Cody’s been starring at Rogue all week but dosen’t even know her name which to be fair, minus the muscles and being on the football team, is pretty much me in high school and is just as pathetic in 2000 as it would be from 2007-2010. I mean if I just went for it I PROBABLY would’ve been shot down, and the one time I did I indeed was, but at least I would of went for it and maybe learned more about women and not been such a dipstick for the next decade.... “sigh”

Point is Cody awkwardly asks Rogue to dance but like most cool kids, including the kind I hung out with in high school and tended to crush on, she’s there to look COOOOL and mope a bit.. and again tell her mom she can’t tell her what to dooooo. But Cody’s awkwardness and sincerty gets her to say why not, he means well.. a little pity dance can’t hurt. So they dance and then Ty causes this entire episode, yes really, by shoving Cody into her because they happen to be dancing seperatley because Cody’s a goddman gentleman ya maroon, and is respecting her personal space, and IS actually hitting it off as she seems to be enjoying herself. Had he not done that, he at least MIGHT have gottne a kiss before what happens next.. during the fall he accidently touches her skin, which had been mostly covered up and goes into a Coma while Rogue is now stuck in a stupor wondering who she is. Yeah as I omniously hinted at Cody is the guy in every version of Rogue’s origin story, including I assume the 2000′s one where until doing some research i.e. going to wikipedia then letterboxd to find out if his name was given, who she has her first kiss with.. and thus the poor sap who first gets hit with her absorbtion power and traumtizes her. And here it’s no exception. Cue the opening credits. Which despite this setting up the slow arc of Rogue joining htem.. has Rogue in an x-men uniform with the team. Not that the arc is particuarlly subtle about hiding it, we’ll get there but still. After the credits Ty is wondering what she did to him.. even though she barely moved when he fell on her, and Ty shoved Cody into him, and for all we know Cody just went into shock. He also easily could’ve fell on an epi pen or something.. I mean she could’ve stabbed him wiht one but that’s more of a candian thing than a southern thing.

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So Ty, who while understandably given Mutants aren’t public and Rogue herself had no idea still casued this by shoving Cody into her without thinking about if either had any medical conditions or if Rogue you know WANTED to phsyically touch him that soon, and yes diffrent standards and all but even 2000 this was stupid, decides to mess up things further when Rogue tries to run and tries to block the way. Now granted I get it on some level: For all he knows Rogue drugged his best friend and she needs to be there anyway to answer the police.. but counter arguments 1) She may have a record (She dosen’t) and while not having DONE anything may get brought up on charges anyway. 2) If she DID drug cody with a needle of something WHO SAYS SHE DOSEN’T HAVE MORE AND CAN’T JUST STAB YOUR DUMB ASS 3) she’s got a VERY distinctinve haircut with a white streak, wears a very specific outfit she probably son’t have time to change out of , and everyone there saw her. YOu can tell the police what she looks like. They will find her. No instead she tries blocking her and she football tackles him.. because Cody is a footballer because this show, much like Tommy Wiseau, weirdly loves football. though unlike the room most instances it comes up, the first episode, cody being one here, and a future episode where the objective is to get the ball from your opposing x-man, all make some sense versus “Let’s go put on tuxes and play football because that’s what friends do huhhhhh?”. But yeah THIS is why I brought up Rogue’s past: becuase this episode heavily uses the part where she had Carol’s memories.. and would occasionally get messed up between who she was, with one issue having her lapse into being carol to rescue her ex from capture, which he dosen’t take well for obvious reasons. This episode uses something similar with Rogue’s brain a bit fried from taking in cody and thus not being sure where she ends and he begins, which is a very intresting idea and was a cool wya to go about having her powers activate. I mean sure it’s the second time in two episodes a mutant’s powers have traumatically awkaned. but both were distinct and interesting and it’s a staple of x-men stories to have this sort of thing happen.

Meanwhile Rogue’s caretaker Destiny, who we flashed to a bit during the awakening of her powers, calls Mystque. I mentioned her ealrlier in jokes but for those unaware both here and in the comics Destiny is a pre cog, although sh’es an elderly woman in the comics, or rather was having died decades ago in real life, meaning she can see the fuuuuttureeeeee. And thus she saw what was about to happen but couldn’t prevent it. Mysitque is apparently railing her out on the other end over it.. and not in the fun way they usuallly do. And that’’s not crude ininsiuation.. in the comics.. Chris Claremont wrote them as a gay couple and only didn’t explicltly say anything because Jim Shooter was a homophobic moron, even if he had the common sense to stop the kitty and colossus thing because dear god why was that a thing, chaste or not dear god why. The point is Chris fully meant both as lesbians though Mysitque became bisexual under other writers, and the two finally kissed on panel, in flashback last year and Msique wanting her revivied, the x-men can come back from the dead now in comics and Xavier and Magneto refusing for complicated reasons I won’t go into here, and Desitny herself knowing they might not and telling her to burn Krakoa to the ground if she dosen’t get to come back is a major bubbling plot point that got set up earlier this year. So yeah I fully see them as a couple here. ANd yes mistue was with her even as an old lady, it’s really sweet and misty is also immortal so they’ve been together a long time. Also fun fact you probably dind’t need to know: Chris Claremont FULLY inteded to have it turn out the two were Nightcrawler’s biological parents. Mistque is a shapeshifter and can become a man after all.. I like to think that’s what happened here since thankfully the show decided NOT to go with the “kurt’s dad is a demon” explination from around the same time.. and yes that’s a thing and yes it’s fucking stupid and only ever worked under jason aaron who made Kurt’s dad into a pirate who raided heaven and lead to the x-men pirating up alongside a about to come back from the dead nightcrawler to kick his ass. And yes much like the misqute shapeshifting a dick to make a child being shopped around, this actually happened. Comics are awesome sometimes and I genuinely wish Destiny was kurt’s mom. Also yeah spoilers Mystique is nightcrawler’s mom here as usual, including possibly in the movies but it’s kept vauge in both timelines.

Destiny explains that while she kept Rogue’s powers under wraps, giving her a phony skin condition and having her wear skin covering clothes, she couldn’t keep her away from teenage things forever and figured she’d be fine.. she was wrong but hey her precontion isn’t something she can control and she can still see the fucking future, so it’s not like it’s a bad trade off. Myistque is of course coming to collect her but Destiny warns her that, naturally, the x-men are going to be there soon.

Speaking of the X-Men, Wolverine is breaking into the x-men mansion in a ninja costume while storm tries to thrwart hm. Yes there is actual context to this and he is a trained ninja so this fits.. yes really he apparentlyt rained with ninjas as part of his backstory and later had a samurai sword fight iwth his girlfriends dick of a dad twice and has had many since then since even with his claws the image of wolverine wielding a sword is fucking awesome. He crawls through the vents but Storm freezes them and he’s forced to enter the danger room and then tears some machines apart because chuck stops him because APPARENTLY their expesnive.. even though he can afford to buy his teenage son a sports car and himself a fucking rolls, so no Chuck I don’t see why Logan would assume you can’t afford to buy more death machines.

Scott rightly asks what the hell their supposed to learn from one of their teachers putting on his ninja robes and trying to sneak into his own house while another teacher tries to murder him. And yeah with enoguh episodes I can fully say my assement was accurate, and not only that this scott has a bit of a temper at times, being a bit quicker to fly off the handle while also having a clear sarcastic streak, something his comics counterpart would thankfully soon pick up and that’s come back in full under jonathan hickman:

It’s.. a long story.. a bunch of racist genocidal scientests decided to inject themselves with devolving serum to protect their project from the x-men.. okay maybe not that long a story. BUt I LIKE that this scott is flawed, but not enoguh to make him unlikeable just enough to round him out: He’s charming, empathetic and a tactical genius.. but he can also be hot headed, sarcastic and impulsive. I’ts a nice ballance that dosen’t prevent him from being likeable or useful to the team, but keeps him intresting and gives him room to grow. What I really am liking about the series so far is the team is fairly fleshed out.. except Jean and Storm unforuntantley as Storm really hasn’t gotten enough screne time to shine like her comics counterpart and Jean is just sort of “popular girl type a who’s sweet to everyone, but also still badass”. She’s still better than the 90′s cartoon, as she can actually do stuff more often and is a vital member of the team, and has mor eof a personality, but I hope we get more to her as we go. But otherwise the characters are layerd, flawed but likeable, and enjoyable to watch, and it helps with these earlier more awkard episodes, papering over the weaker aspects with strong character.

Anyways Logan explains why they did all this: both to show the kids how to infiltrate big complexes, which given most x-missions are “investgate a base of some sort wher eno good is coming of anything”, case in point the mission in the picture above, it’s a valid and useful skill, and to test the mansion’s security, suggesting since the vents are crawlable to electrify them and add poision gas. Storm objects to the poision gas part as well.. their only enimies besides mystique are two teenagers who while dicks don’t really deserve to choke to death. Wolverine’ relucntantly agreers.. he’ll get em next security update. Next timeee. Kitty meanwhile wonders if anyone else is freaked out and just gets blank stares.. a great gag and a great bit of character as she just joined and had a fairly normal life before all this. Kurt assures her she’ll get used to it, but his telporting over and offering popcorn fails to impress her and she nopes out of there, though Jean reassures him chicks will dig the fuzzy eventually. This is a nice nod to the comics where , with Kurt being the only non-human passing x-man, Kitty was afraid of him for some time, but slowly came around going from being horrified to him to defending him to evelangenlical lunatic reverend stryker, he was a preacher in the comics but no less vile or murder happy, telling him that kurt was one of the noblest souls she ever met after he angrily lambasted him as not in god’s will because you know, he looks like a demon.. and apparently is half of one but let’s ignore that bollocks shall we? Here i’ts more he’s coming on a bit strong on top of that, but it still works reconfigured like that. Anyways enough teen romance, to me my x-men as Charles needs the full team for a mission and it’s the first time we’ve HAD a full team mission which makes sense: Episode one only had two active x-men and one who just joined and episode 2 only needed a smaller team for both subplots so we split the team minus storm in half. Here we have our first full mission: To find Rogue as Xavier believes she’s a danger to herself and others.. which isn’t exactly wrong when her power can abosrb at a touch and she has two entirely diffrent minds overlaping in her head. I do questoin however going in full combat gear, as they do. Bringing it, no sweat what if someone shows up to attack them, their apparently aware of the brotherhood as of next episode... which makes little sense but whatever. But when they land they go out in full superhero gear which not only ends up playing into myistques hands , more on that in a bit but makes htem look super supscious. And this could just be wanting more costume action early on which would be fine.. if the previous episode hadn’t had jean in plain clothes to talk to kitty, because yeah most people freaked out about their powers probably wouldn’t assume the best of someone in tactical gear iwth a big x on their costume! Gah. I”m glad I went ahead simply to know the x-men do get smarter.. a little.

Anyways, that stupidity aside on the jet Kurt is flying for the first time with Scott proud of his skill saying he’ll be an ace.. and taking it back when Kurt starts driving with his feet.. even though to me that’s just as impressive as while he has that classic arms behind the head relaxed pose, he is still paying attention, has his feet on ten and two and, and it’s a fact that I forget sometimes: His feet are just as, or at least, almost as good at gripping as his hands. It’s why he can wall crawl like spiderman. Their llike gorilla feet but better. So yeah that joke dosen’t really land. Meanwhile it’s time for what an older man thinks two teenage girls talk about.. and I just noticed looking at the credits this episode is written by Simon Furman, one of the more renowed transformers creators and write of the UK comics and later the US comics, as well as the first few mini series and one shots for the first idw continuity.. granted the latter is a bit infamous for what he did to arcee, which I both don’t know enough about and don’t have enough time to get into here, nor have I read enough of his work to gush, but I sitll felt it worth mentioning. ANd it’s not uncommmon for comic book writers to write for animation: Greg Weisman started in comics before moving to animation with Captain Atom’s post-crisis solo series, Dwayne McDuffie had a rather sizeable career in comics as a writer and editor and returned to writing comics in the 2000′s for a stint, and Marv Wolfman helped make the treatment for beast machines, while Peter David’s done scattered episodes of various shows, most memorably for me Ben 10. So not a HUGELY uncommmon thing but still worth noting. Anyways legend or no, he still makes the rest of this scene awkward as Kitty fawns over scott, Jean ends up agreeing and in annoying fit of jealously kurt ports to the roof to do .. some sort of stunt to impress kitty and end sup having to come back in due to wind resitance, teleproting on her by accident and pissing her off. It’s not a terrible scene, as it shows some vunerablity in kurt and furhters the jean scott love triangle but in revisiting it it just feels a tad awkardly put in there, especially since so far kitty having a crush on scott goes nowhere and love triangle wise it’s more Jean, Scott and Rogue.. more on that next time. Wolverine mutters about kids in annoyance.. so for the first and probably last time in my existance I feel the exact same as wolverine for one shining moment.

Mysitque arrives and is angry at her wife for letting their daughter get away, Irene reitrates the dance thing.. you get it. Luckily having a precog for a wife is handy for more than timing your orgasms to happen at the same time, and Irene knows she’s going to Cody’s hosue which she thinks is her own and that’s where we see her next. Now while this episodes quality is mixed... I do like this element of Rogue torn between two identites not sure which is her.. it’s thorughly intresting and hasn’t been used enough in adaptations, though the 90′s series did do a good job with it’s own take of having Carol and Rogue fight for Rogue’s body.

At any rate wolverine attacks.. wow jesus wolvie I know you don’t like kids but this is a bit far.... at least go back home and take it out on duncan if you need to murder a teenager sheesh. Of course it’s actually mysitque whose trying to make her afraid of the x-men, shifting into storm next. It’s not a terrible tactic.. it has specific faults i’m saving for the end, but in the short term using the x-men in costume to scare her, then having Irene show up and tell her their mutant hunters.. it’s not bad. It also nicely back fries when the x-men arrive, charles unable to pointpoint her due to her brain being scramble, and end up going down the alleyway with Wolvie in tow causing her to book it.

Kurt, whose really on the ball outside of the plane stunt this episode, comes up with a better plan than “Chase the frightened teenager around missiipi and hope it works” and realizes since she’s clearlys cared of logan, even if they don’t know why he can try talking to her while in inducer form. Logan relucntantly agrees but tells kurt to keep an the rookie, i.e. kitty which pisses her off. Remember this for a second from now.

So Kurt.. actually succeeds in calming her down, pointing out he like her was once freaked out, that being diffrent is okay etc, usual line but it works.. then ... yeah that second from now is now now as Kitty decides “she dosen’t look so tough” AND TACKLES ROGUE. Who they know has the power to absorb things by touch even if she’s mostly covered, and who was about to turn to their side. Just because Logan, it turns out CORRECTLY, insulted her. Just.. jesus this is bad writing.. Kitty isn’t this obnoxious or usless later on and while she could sometimes fuck up in the comics..it was less noticable since she was the ONLY teenager, and still once fried a demon with a jet engine. Here? She hasn’t done any of that so she just comes off as a dumbass brought on a mission too soon who causes her friend to not long after this get his powers absorbed by rogue.. though weirdly she dosen’t get his blue skin, which annoys me a bit but whatever. Animation budgets. Point is kitty lost their target and got kurt comaed. Kitty paniced realizes she can reach the professor telepathically, and we do get a great gag of her doing so too loud, while Logan grumbles about not going with them.. which is a godo point.. why didn’t he just.. you know take the costume off. even if she panicked if she learned who he was later, they would at least have her on the plane and could easily knock her out gently, especially logan since he recovers fast and would the instant his healing factor came back, and then deal with her panic and her fear of them they didn’t know about back home versus here. He didn't even have to come with her just hang towards the back in plainclothes. Instead his telling Kitty she sucks caused her to prove that assessment accurate. So Charles goes to help while Storm, Cyclops and Jean continue the search They find her and Jean shows her empathy again, and I have to admit the character really isn’t that bad in moments like this.. the only reason I ragged on her coming to kitty last time is she made the rookie mistake of telling Kitty about her telepathy, which, while better sooner than later, was done so clumsily it backfired. Here.. she genuinely and softly talks to Rogue, and offers her a communicator which looks like a neuralizer for some reason.. seriously why not just hide it in a compact or a watch or something Chuck? But that aside i’ts a nice moment.. that storm accidently ruins by showing up and terrifying her away. Yeah that’s PART of my problem with the episode right there is jwhile it changes up setting and what not it’s still just “The x-men find Rogue , get her calm, then she runs when one of the x-men mystique traumatized her with shows up”. It just gets old fast despite some clever switches here and there.

Thankfully we’re at the climax and since Mystique saw all that she shifts into Cyclops.. and up until now I haven’t mentioned this but it becomes a glaring issue here: Mystique’s dialouge when shapeshifted when coming up is basically variations of I’M GOING TO KILL YOU. Which not only is a bit dull, as she apparnelty knows the x-men and at least could make them sound like evil versions of the people we know but also REALLY dumb... again i’m saving this for the end of the episode because it all comes together with her endgame for Rogue, but even if you haven’t watched the show given what’s happened with Toad and Avalanche you can probably guess. But yeah while watching I WAS going to lambast her for not using Jean.. but she’s actually clever here, using Scott who Rogue hasn’t met to unerve her already, then shifting into Jean to take back the chance she offered. IT scares Rogue out who naturlaly books from Jean.

Rogue then touches storm.. and Cyclops promintently craps himself as he realizes “Oh shit an already scared and psonically scrambled teenager just got an omega mutant’s levels power but with none of the experince and 80 times the angst”. So yeah Rogue’s powers spin out of control in what’s a great sequence and she hit sa transformer but ends up running. Xavier decideds to call this one a wash, and can’t find her anymore anyway as Cody has faded and decide she has to come willingly. Kurt reawakens to Kitty’s delight. Yay that mildly annoying subplot is done. We end at the school and this is what i’ve been building towards folks: Myistque enrolls Rogue in the school, comersrates on magneto on a job well done and Rogue looks at her commincator. And now for the reason I was a bit patient on this: Mystique’s plan is really shortsighted and dumb. Now pretending to be the x-men, that works.. but her impersinations are so shallow, ESPECIALLY for an experinced shapeshifter that the minute Rogue gets to know any of the x-men, her entire facade will start to crumble. Or if she touches one of them and gets their memories.. which never happens even when she borrows one of their powers next time but hey. Instead of making the x-men seem like gaslighting manipulators she makes them seem like petty murderous villians.. when 5 minutes with Scott or jean or just watching either will cure that. And sure as we see next time she TRIES keeping her from talking to them for too long.. but as we also see school projects happen and she can’t control EVERYTHING without raising some red flags with her faculity. She’s principal, if a teacher’s supscious she’s abusing a student she brought in, they hopefully won’t hesitate to call someone to look into it and as a shapeshifter running a dodgy mutant milita made up of students you brought in that’s the last thing you fucking want. It’s really not even a remote surpise this only lasts three episodes before she turns, and makes me question why do this arc if it’s going to be so half assed? In the comics Myistque was not only a master planner, even getting her team jobs as goverment enforcers when she realized being anti-human terrorists in a very racist climate was just going to get them all killed, but she also CARED about Rogue and her using empathy and kidness on TOP of the manipulation would make Rogue trusting her so much make more sense than “Well it’s you or the attempted murderers”. It’s just really fucking sloppy and to it’s credit Wolverine and the X-Men ended up doing this sort of plotline 80 times better, with Rogue being a villian for a while AFTER the x-men had broken up, left her with nothing, and things had only gotten worse for mutants.. and I think bein ga double agent, it’s been a while, but her reasons for turning there feel natural in comparison to this. The x-men aren’t much smarter as they only connect the dots that maybe it’s a shapeshifter, a shapeshfiter I belive xavier, storm and wolverine alread know about and coul’dve told the students. Gah.

Final Thoughts: This episode isn’t very good and in reviewing it I really realized it when it took me 4 or so diffrent sessions to finish this thing. While it has good parts, like a lot of ROgue’s stuff, the danger room break in, it’s held back by stupid decisions, a stupid villian plot, and a waste of great POTETIAL stories for a half assed one from a writer who clearly can do better and a show that will soon enough. Glad to finally be done with this one.. I might not come back to evolution for a second, but when I do I promise it won’t take this long.

Next Time on X-Men: Evolution: Blob debuts, crushes on jean to an obssesive and quickly very stalkery degree and also nearly murders duncan with a locker... so he’s clealry a mixed bag. Meanwhile Scott and Rogue get paried up on assigment and Paul wears out his welcome Like this if you enjoyed it, I have other x-men evolution reviews in the x-men tag on my blog, as well as other animation goodness, and if ther’es an episode of another x-men show, including the gifted and legion as i have hulu, or marvel show in general you’d like me to cover just drop me a pm to comission it for a reasonable fee. ANd until next time, courage.

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sorrelstream · 4 years ago

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entering “proper grammar” mode because I’m writing this on a google docs first and I don’t want to deal with all those ugly squiggles ahdfsdfds…

But!! Here’s the fully answered Ailuornymy question list, as requested by anon :D! More below the cut!

Favourite canon warrior name?

Hmm… let’s see… Honestly? Probably Silverstream! I don’t think we get many -stream suffixes anymore and there’s something soooo pretty about her name and the way it flows !!

Least favourite canon warrior name?

Snowbush. There’s something so clunky about the way this dude’s name reads in my head and I don’t know why!!! Also Harrybrook >:(

Warrior you’d most like to rename?

Harrybrook. I just!! It doesn’t sound nice at all please give him a better name :( Best name-change name? One-eye! I’m not sure if she asked for her name change or not, but I’ll admit “One-eye” is a pretty baller sounding name and I love that. Also Deadfoot has a cool name too (though I wish he had asked for that name change rather than saddled with it :/)!

Favourite canon character overall?

Mousewhisker and Hazeltail! They’re two unimportant side characters that don’t really do anything ever but man do I love them with my whole heart <3!

Least favourite canon character overall?

Thistleclaw and Crowfeather. I’ve talked about why I don’t like either of them a lot before so to keep it short they both make me incredibly uncomfortable nor do I enjoy reading about them at all.

Favourite Warriors book?

The Darkest Hour! It was my first Warriors book that I read from the main series (Sasha's manga was the first Warriors book in general and how I got into Warriors), and MAN does it still stick with me! So many scenes from that book are just iconic.

Least favourite Warriors book?

Anything from Dawn Of The Clans honestly :'). I tried so many times to get into reading that arc and I never could get into it -- it just bored me any time I tried. Same for AVoS, eh.

Favourite canon scene or dialogue of all time?

Such a random scene but there’s a scene I think about all the time from Power Of Three where Lionpaw has a nightmare about Hollypaw, and she just playfully (? ominously?) says “I’m going to get you” while hidden in the shadows before turning into a fox and attacking him. I think about it SO much…...

Favourite canon leader of all time?

Crookedstar, followed closely by Tallstar! I love them….

Character you think deserved better?

SO, SO MANY. IT’S UNREAL. Hollyleaf didn’t deserve to get killed off the VERY NEXT BOOK after she came back to ThunderClan, Snowkit didn’t deserve to get killed off just to push Speckletail into the nursery, Nightcloud didn’t deserve… literally anything she got both in canon and how the authors and fandom demonized her, Honeyfern…. Silverstream… the list goes on really :’/

Character you’d like to see “morally” flipped (made “bad” or made “good��)?

Leopardstar, kinda?? But not like. Morally flipped? I guess? I just mean I wish they had gone more into her redemption arc and why she allied herself with Tigerstar besides just “oh she was in love with him”. So it’s not that I wish she was morally flipped, but I wish they went more into her morality because she’s soo vague as it is (and, frankly, maybe I’m biased because I like her but I would’ve loved to see her overcome her initial prejudice or perhaps work for forgiveness for her Clan - perhaps her alliance with Tigerstar was out of worry for the entirety of her Clan since she saw him as the strongest cat and not just… because she “loved” him). Same for Breezepelt, honestly! They kept dancing between “he’s a troubled son of a negligent/abusive father” and “he’s evil :)” and personally? As a child of a negligent father who also abandoned me, it would’ve been way more … I’m not sure WHAT the word I’m looking for is but I think Breezepelt’s story would’ve been better if they focused on making him a troubled teen of a negligent, bad father and actually embraced Crowfeather being an antagonist in PO3 instead of not wanting to make him look bad. It’s just weird the erins flip flop between “this character is evil” and “this character is ok” so much it’s FRUSTRATING :/

Favourite AU (alternate universe) concept?

Answered here!

Warrior code rule you think is best?

Always help a kitten in need, no matter their heritage! I know that’s not the exact wording but anyways. Perhaps I’m biased because I, in general, don’t like reading about child death (I know it happens and I can handle it in some plots but sometimes it’s just so excessive), but in general I think it’s one of the best and genuinely helpful code laws, especially because kittens always deserve a chance at life. I think the second best rule would be the one that states a warrior does not need to kill to win a battle, because I think that adds a lot more depth (potentially) to how warriors value the lives of others and creates a bigger scene? scandal? when someone is killed in battle versus dying of wounds later on. It also, again, keeps the youngsters like apprentices safe!

Warrior code rule you think shouldn’t exist/should be changed?

If you know me, you won’t be surprised because it’s the same answer as always: the leader’s word is law. I’ve spoken a lot about that code before and even have a comic about its flaws, so I won’t go into it too much here, but I just think it’s a recipe for disaster.

Describe your ideal vision of Starclan/clan afterlife.

Hmmm let’s see… my ideal vision of StarClan/clan afterlife would be a little bit like what it’s like in canon at the moment but with a few twists. I think the borders would dissolve in StarClan so there’d be less in-fighting (though I imagine, after growing up your whole life hating your neighbors, a lot of cats have a hard time getting used to the no-boundary life-style of StarClan, and a lot of young/new spirits tend to stick within their own Clan cliques before venturing out and meeting former members of other Clans. Older spirits would be the ones most used to interacting with former members of other Clans). I think there’d be sections that mimic the corporeal Clan’s territories in theme, but with different landmarks and such so that new spirits have a new world to explore. I’d also take away the fading aspect because I don’t really think that’s… fair? I guess? It’s weird to me but I’d prefer not to go into it. I’d also make it so that there’s no great wisdom to these cats - or, at least, the wiser StarClan spirits are the ones that have been around for as long as anyone can remember. They wouldn’t be able to interfere with the living as much in canon and can only really visit medicine cats, or possibly leaders, in dreams; anyone else has to go to the sacred area to commune with the dead. Not sure what else though! This is just kind of a general idea.

Traditional or non-traditional naming. Thoughts?

I think both have their merits! While I prefer traditional naming systems because I enjoy seeing the way people develop suffix meanings and assign well-known meanings to them (and even connotations!), plus it helps me personally assign even the smallest trait to a side character so they feel just a little more real, I see why people would enjoy non-traditional naming systems as it does give more breathing room for individual name creation. Also, I’m not gonna lie, there’s some gorgeous lyrical names out there that flow beautifully. My heart will always belong to traditional naming, though, I think.

If traditional: What non-traditional suffix would you include in your system? If non-traditional: What’s your favourite canon suffix?

Traditional! I actually have included some non-traditional suffixes in my system, just for variety! But those are: -throat, -pool, -belly, -fern, -bee, -berry, -chirp, and -tooth, for example. There’s actually quite a few more but I don’t wanna list every single addition shfbd!

Best thing about the clan system as a concept in your opinion?

Hard to pick, honestly! But I do think the best thing about clans as a system is their unity; they’re a little society that has each other’s backs, and the care for young and elderly a lot is touching!

Favourite Warriors fanfiction (or fanfiction writer)?

HA this might be an obvious answer, but 100% solacefruit on ao3 (also: @/ailuronymy and @/burnt-sycamore on tumblr!). His worldbuilding is to die for and there’s something so charming and attention grabbing about his writing style that always has me waiting for the next update. Seriously, probably one of my biggest writer inspirations.

Favourite Warriors fanartist (includes animators)?

Answered here!

Most interesting villain?

Mapleshade and Sol, honestly. I’ve rambled about Mapleshade before, I think, but I think her story could have had a lot of potential to call out the misogyny and bias of StarClan and the code, and how mollies are often punished harsher than the toms for their code-breaking. Her story also features how weird the warriors are with the warrior code - it’s like they cherry pick what they want to believe? Oakstar sends three innocent kittens out of the Clan, presumably to die (which they do), despite the code speaking to never endanger a kitten’s life no matter their heritage, and no one ever questions him, or the rest of ThunderClan, for standing by to watch kittens die? Even Frecklewish outright stated she watched the kittens die and did nothing about it. Why? Why was everyone okay with punishing Mapleshade for breaking a rule of the code but no one questioned Oakstar or anyone else in ThunderClan for kicking out the kits alongside Mapleshade, when it was Mapleshade’s crime and not the kits? And why doesn’t Appledusk get punished or ostracized by his clanmates as severely as Mapleshade did? It had a lot of potential but it’s just a mess. Anyways - onto Sol. Another interesting concept kinda messed up by the Erins. In general, I really love villains that are just nuisances at best and no real threat - kind of like Heinz Doofenshmirtz - and with Sol’s backstory being the way it was, he was the perfect opportunity to have him be this little antagonistic shithead who, while annoying and causing problems, wasn’t actually a serious threat, and he of all villains would have had the best shot at redemption I think.

Favourite canon clan?

RiverClan! I love their aesthetic, their territory, and their general vibes. In love with water-based places <3!!

What would you ask Erin Hunter, if you could?

“Would you hand the series off to a new team of writers?” All good series must come to an end, but with Warriors being as broad as it is, I think this is a series where spin offs can be made and still thrive - just not with the current author staff we have at the moment. There’s lots of people with amazing, creative ideas for Warriors, and I know this is just a fantasy at best, but I would love to see a new writing team take over and weave brand new stories and worldbuilding with it in spin-offs. Hell, even I’d love to take a crack at publishing a Warriors spin off, but, again, it’s a fantasy at best.

Top five prefixes (canon or otherwise)?

Sorrel-, Chub-, Mink-, Rose-, and Vervain- (you can tell I like these prefixes considering these are all prefixes of characters featured in my webcomic besides Sorrel-, which is used for my wcsona’s name ha!) Honorable mentions to: Black- (or any color based prefix like Yellow-, Red-, Ginger-, Blue-, Gray-, White-, etc. I don’t know why but I’m fond of them), Beetle-, and Fidget- (which isn’t a traditional prefix, but I think it’s cute hehe.)

Top five suffixes (canon or otherwise)?

Just narrowing down for traditional because I need a smaller pool to pick from habdfsd but! -face, -flower, -stripe, -storm and -nose!

If you were on Drunk Warriors Rants, what would you talk about?

I have no idea what Drunk Warriors Rants is actually but I’m assuming it’s something where you get drunk and rant about warrior cats so… I would absolutely rant about Hollyleaf and mainly the wild mischaracterization the fandom has made of her break down and the murder of Ashfur. It irks me to no end how so many people have pushed this weird concept that Hollyleaf was aware her parents were Crowfeather and Leafpool when she murdered Ashfur to the point that most people I talk to genuinely don’t realize this, because not only does it just make so sense narratively but I feel like it really does take away from the depth that is her character. I think Hollyleaf is one of the few characters we get, like, an actual depth to, who is developed beyond “typical protagonist with love interest”, and has an interesting arc, downfall, and redemption. When she killed Ashfur, she was totally unaware that Leafpool and Crowfeather were her parents - in fact, the entirety of Sunrise is about Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze trying to figure out who their parents are, so I honestly don’t know where this whole “Hollyleaf knew about her heritage when she killed Ashfur” thing came from. It really ruins her arc by making her out to be some nonsense cat who killed to keep a secret she spilled anyways, and not a cat who killed to keep a secret she didn’t fully understand yet, who then completely unraveled once she discovered the origins and how her existence completely went against everything she was raised to believe in.

What would your warrior name be?

Pretty obvious answer but my warrior name would be Sorrelstream! Or possibly Sorrelstripe, but I lean towards Sorrelstream. I love to swim a lot actually but I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly strong or skilled swimmer but hey… It’s my warriors sona and I get to give him one (1) skill.

Bonus questions:

Describe your favourite original Warriors characters!

HONESTLY this question is a little tough because I have such a huuuge cast of original warrior characters it’s hard to narrow down! I’d say if you’re interested in hearing more about my ocs or seeing them in action to check out my @/roseface blog, which is dedicated to my wc comic, or check out my ao3 account (kiittenteeth) because I’ll probably be posting warriors-centric original character stories there soon!

Describe your original Warriors clans!

Heyyy fun fact! I’m actually working on a small novel fanfic (only about ten chapters long) featuring my fanclans! They’re a group of four Clans set in an abandoned gated neighborhood/area - FernClan (located in the local abandoned mall), PondClan (located in the abandoned golf course), GleamClan (located in the local abandoned restaurant/diner), and FieldClan (located in the abandoned K-12 academy school). I won’t go too much into them here since I want to explore their worldbuilding in my fic, but keep an eye out for them when I drop the first chapter of Ribs!

Talk about your feelings about the Warriors series!

Oh man. A lot. The series itself is… disappointing, at best, but I’m awfully attached to it no matter how many times I try to break away from it. It was my biggest media interest growing up (keyword: media), so it’s a pretty big part of me and the way I grew up. Plus I met a good chunk of my friends through warrior cats related areas, so :’)!!! It’s a series that despite all its flaws is incredibly close to me but I’m mainly here to read everyone’s fan content because MAN does the fan content go above and beyond!

(Asked by @/whocares-idont) What’s your opinion on fan made Clan pantheons?

I LOOVE fan made Clan pantheons actually! Mythology was always something I loved learning about as a kid, and I’m particularly fond of the worldbuilding people make for the Warriors setting. I feel like creating a pantheon and mythos tied to it adds to the depth of the world and makes it all the more interesting and realistic, especially since mythology is such a huge part of so many cultures, both ancient and modern one. I think creating pantheons really adds to the setting people make with warriors, and, honestly, they’re always really fun to read about!!

#yes i did this instead of working on season change pages dshfbsdfds didnt feel like drawing today #nor have i felt like drawing in the past UHHH [checks watch] 3 days. oops!#anyways :)!! anon who requested this i hope u enjoy :D!#long post

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itsclydebitches · 6 years ago

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RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 The More the Merrier

This is a re-posting from October 9th, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

Hello, moon.

Will we ever learn what happened to you? Not in this episode! That ominous shot (countered with the oddly soothing sound of crickets) is just to situate us before we pan down, revealing the gang making their way to the meeting with Lionheart. And honestly? I kind of love everything about this composition. Let’s tick things off:

We have Jaune and Ren mirroring each other with determined expressions and clenched fists. They’re ready to kick ass if need be.

Same with Ruby and Nora except they look like they’re out for a casual moonlit stroll—with the added bonus that Nora is manically thrilled about this adventure.

Yang is pretty blasé. Been there. Done that. Survived worse.

Weiss? The embodiment of “Ugh I could be home right now instead of walking around in this heat this had better not mess up my hair.”

Oscar looks way out of his depth and is hanging back from the rest, as we’d expect given that he’s a farm boy joining a group of elite fighters that have had years to bond without him. It’s Awkward New Kid Syndrome with a side of extreme danger.

And then there’s Qrow. Out in front. Suspicious looks all around. Iconic hunched shoulders. Really wants to put his hands in his pockets but the animation isn’t quite there yet. Behold, everyone. Our leader.

For real though, jokes aside I honest to god love this opening. It’s quick and from a practical standpoint sets up only that they’re heading somewhere as a group, but if you take the time to actually look you’ll see each of their personalities shining through. We might bitch about RWBY’s faults, but there’s a whole lot of love poured into this series and more often than not you can see it in the details.

Ruby pauses then to take in Haven tower—always one to appreciate beauty even when things are bleak—and then hangs back until Oscar has caught up. It’s a wonderful little moment between them because there’s no dialogue and ultimately none is needed. He doesn’t stop for reassurance, but he could. Ruby gives him that option and waits until Oscar passes her before continuing herself. The whole scene is heavy and poignant. There’s nothing but music until they arrive inside and Lionheart breaks the peace with, “Why hello. There… seems to be more of you than last time.”

Yeah. You can hear the fear in his voice. As if the rest of this setup didn’t already scream “TRAP, TRAP, TRAP,” He’s gotta be super suspicious in his greeting too. Leading them out here in the dead of night. Lionheart up on the podium—both figuratively putting himself above them and literally keeping himself out of harm’s way. Then the first thing out of his mouth is a worried comment on their numbers? Suspicious, suspicious.

Qrow: “Oh you know what they say. The more the merrier.”

He did the title thing! Love that.

Except the delivery makes it clear that Qrow is also suspicious as hell. No one has drawn their weapon yet, but the fight has already started. Qrow and Ozpin know that this is no simple meeting. Now Lionheart knows that they know. A quick shot reveals both his fear and the fact that he came with a weapon of his own:

Qrow tries to continue the charade by asking what’s up with the council and Lionheart is so bad at acting casual it’s actually painful to watch. He wants to know why they all brought THEIR weapons while hiding his own behind his back. As if they in any way failed to miss him standing there with it in full view for the last thirty seconds.

I can’t with this guy. He's just so bad at being bad I almost feel sorry for him.

(Although, as we in the U.S. have certainly discovered the last two years, the incompetent ones are often the most dangerous…)

As said, the fight has already begun. While Qrow and Lionheart trade subtext Yang checks out their perimeter, immediately picking up on the raven that just happens to be chilling on the banister. A simple, whispered “Mom?” and Qrow has his weapon out and a shot off, barely missing Raven as she swoops down beside Lionheart.

Can we appreciate that reaction time for a second? I feel like between Ozpin’s Super Secret Magic and Qrow’s self-deprecating drinking the fandom tends to forget that he’s easily one of the most powerful fighters we’ve seen to date. He demonstrated that in his playful spar against Winter, keeping Tyrian on his toes while also ensuring that the kids were safe, and here as he responds blindingly fast to a one syllable word. A few seconds later Raven calls him out for missing or, just as likely, deliberately missing since he doesn't want to kill her—yet. Which makes it all the more impressive that he can aim and achieve the results he wants in such a short amount of time. You 100% do not want to fuck with Qrow.

A nice cut using Lionheart’s back and Raven becomes human once more. In the realm of ‘artists paying careful attention to how their background characters act,’ Oscar is uncomfortable but isn’t even looking at the threat—almost like he’s listening carefully to something the rest of them can’t hear—while Nora looks downright floored. “They really are magic,” she says to herself, solidifying with evidence what they'd been told a few episodes back.

Okay. Rant time. I still don’t buy these reactions. Really not great on the world building front here. I mean, we’ve had Pyrrha who controls magnetism, Ren who manipulates emotions, Yang has a Hulk mode that includes changing eye color, Blake can create clones of herself, Weiss is basically a necromancer, Ruby turns into rose petals, give him an episode and Jaune will straight up heal a girl, and Nora herself can store/release electricity. Why is turning into a bird so incredibly shocking? It would feel way more natural if they saw Raven and Qrow’s transformations and went, “Okay… so that’s their semblance?” and then Oz has to explain about the difference—being born with an ability vs. being granted it—which is cool and there’s surprise that that’s a Thing, but their reaction to the ability itself is still pretty meh. Because they’ve literally seen weirder.

We’re given no indication as to WHY a bird transformation instinctually reads as more impossible than transforming into rose petals, other than “one is magic and one is not because we say so.” There’s no justification behind the characters’ ability to recognize magic when they see it, especially given the incredibly wide range of abilities RWBY has shown us over the years. Either attach more overt rules to semblances (obvious boundaries where the viewer understands what is and is not possible) or make Ozpin’s magic look radically different. In this world summoning storms and turning into birds doesn't read as radically different. Hell, in many ways Dust, an incredibly common commodity, is more powerful than this supposedly gasp-worthy magic. Why be impressed with Raven summoning rain clouds when Weiss can create powerful winds in her fight against Flynt with just a bit of Daddy’s money?

But anyway. I digress.

The verbal sparring continues. Oscar still isn’t making eye contact. Raven spouts more of her excuses, Salem can’t possibly be stopped, we're all out for ourselves, blah blah blah. Ruby emphasizes that they’ve already done the impossible, but they only achieved that because they were working together. Separation and a pessimistic attitude is exactly what Salem wants. Ruby wants Raven to join them.

And take a gander at that contrast between sisters. As I’ve said before, Ruby is the classic full-of-heart protagonist who believes that almost everyone can be redeemed. As we’ll see in a second, the exemption to this appears to be Cinder. Her murder of Penny and Pyrrha highlights her irredeemability in a way that overshadows Raven’s—and even Salem’s—more nebulous crimes. The bigger your actions are the harder they are to conceptualize. The smaller and more personal they are the harder they are to forgive. Paradoxically, it’s easier for someone like Ruby (and the fandom…) to shrug off Raven’s actions because as of yet she hasn't felt their repercussions as intimately.

Yang though? She has. And in this moment she’s not ready to forgive.

Raven refuses of course and tells Ruby she sounds just like her mother. (Give us flashbacks of Summer!) She summons a portal where a fireball flies through, hitting Ruby square in the chest and allowing the whole evil gang to join the party. We get a closeup on Oscar as he and Oz recognize Hazel, locking them inside while the White Fang sets up their bombs.

Hazel: “No one’s getting in… and no one’s getting out.”

Because RWBY, for all its dark storylines, is still hella cheesy at times lol.

Weiss: “So this was all just a trap?”

Ren: “It appears so…”

Ah, naive little children. If only you were watching from our fourth wall perspective you would have realized it was a trap more than an episode ago! Too bad.

We learn that Lionheart was the one who secured Team Bad a place in the Vytal festival. Not only that, but he’s been passing information about huntsmen and huntress whereabouts to Salem. That’s how they were all murdered and Qrow’s realization of this—after spending all that time looking for them and hoping against hope—is definitely a kicker. “I couldn’t find any of them… because you let her kill them.”

Keep in mind, most of those people were Qrow’s friends.

Jaune, as we’d expect, is at his breaking point. Pyrrha’s murderer is standing right there and, as he says, rubbing their faces in how many people she’s killed—“All with that damn smile on your face!” We’ve had all of two instances of RWBY cursing and it’s definitely needed here. I appreciate that his tears and his anger are basically a call to arms. Most everyone draws their weapon as soon as he's finished speaking. Qrow’s still trying to keep the peace, but Jaune’s very existence is a walking testament to exactly how much these people deserve to be brought to justice.

He yells that he’s going to make Cinder pay for what she did and then comes the most brutal line in all of RWBY.

Cinder: “Who are you again?”

Damn. They’re never gonna top that.

Perfect characterization though. As the audience it’s easy to forget who knows who in a big ensemble cast and, more importantly, who cares about who. From Cinder’s perspective Jaune is a nobody she's barely met. Why would she remember him? If she’d instead made a taunt about his dead girlfriend most of us probably would have just shrugged off the plot-hole, but paying attention to details like this is not only, a) satisfying but b) wonderfully vicious. Way to twist the knife here.

Jaune attacks as we knew he would but Cinder easily blocks him. Ruby joins the fray only to be stopped by Emerald—“You’re not getting near her.” (Love the devotion.) Yang pairs off with Mercury to settle an old score. Raven orders Vernal to take out “the heiress” (rude, she has a name) and in another excellent nod to the switcheroo that tricked both the team and a large chunk of the fandom, she casually throws out that Vernal doesn’t need to use her power to kill a kid.

Good excuse too. Considering, you know, she doesn’t have any.

No more fake outs. Qrow attacks Raven head on with the announcement that they’re not family anymore. Harsh, but deserved. Raven’s “Were we ever?” smells more like denial. We also get a good look at their similar, but differently balanced color schemes.

As their fight takes them out of frame we stay with a rather terrified Weiss. To her credit though she holds her ground against Vernal, assuring her that she’s “more than a name.”

Finally, Ren and Nora—ever the perfect duo—are left to fend off Hazel. He’s one of those real asshole villains who has a “code” that they follow. He doesn’t want to fight two kids half his age and power level… but he has to. Just like he has to keep pursuing his misguided revenge against Ozpin. And he, like Raven, feels the need to announce to the world that this isn’t what he’d prefer. It’s just how things are! Totally out of his hands, I’m sorry to say.

We’re seeing a trend with the villains and their justifications, yeah?

With everyone paired off Ozpin-Oscar (I need a portmanteau for them…) sneaks over to confront Lionheart. Lionheart goes from telling this supposed stranger to get himself out of the fight while he can to attacking him with a rock-lava-energy blast thing in like five seconds flat. Of course, our two favorite BAMFs block it with ease and we get the RWBY equivalent of,

(x)

Holy shit this kid blocked my hit??

Beautiful.

The second the cane comes out though everything makes sense and we get another stellar line of “Not quite” when Lionheart identifies him as Ozpin. I really love that they let Oscar handle the first half of this battle. Yeah, it’s a little flimsy that he’s able to take on an adult after just a few weeks of training, but we also don’t know how much he and Oz are already sharing. Fighting might come naturally to him now in a muscle memory sort of way. Regardless, he kicks ass and I’m loving it.

“You found Qrow,” Lionheart says. “How?” implying that he might have been doing even more work than we saw to keep those two apart. A voiceover from Ozpin wonders what happened to his former ally. The fact that Lionheart knows all the details of Ozpin’s reincarnation tells us that yeah, they were really, really close.

That knowledge is dangerous too. Realizing that Ozpin “couldn’t have had that form for long” Lionheart gets over the debilitating shock of fighting, you know, Ozpin. We hear him rationalizing in the wonderfully creepy manner of the desperate that this is just a boy in front of him, a boy soon to be Ozpin, and if he delivers the kid to Salem he’ll “finally be free" of her. Sounds a lot like Raven thinking that the relic will protect her; a lot like a hurt Tyrian muttering that she’ll forgive him.

RWBY does a good job of reminding us in small ways how utterly terrifying Salem is...and what that fear drives people to do.

This would be the (supposedly) perfect moment for Ozpin to take over. Oh no! Lionheart is all serious now! Oscar is worried! But the only thing Ozpin does is tell him to “fight.” I’ve heard a lot of people in the fandom claim that Ozpin is a monster for his possession, culpable for something that’s outside of his control. But Ozpin has no desire to take over people’s lives like this and—unlike Hazel or Raven—it really is out of his hands, to say nothing of the fact that he does all he can to actually achieve what he thinks is right. He can’t keep himself from merging with Oscar, but he can give Oscar as much agency as humanly possible, including here. The only times we see Ozpin take that agency away is when it really is for the greater good (they can’t afford to hide on a farm forever) or when Oscar is well and truly in over his head, like after the fight with Hazel goes on too long. Taking over Oscar at that point is to save his life, akin to forcing someone out of the way of a blast.

But we’ll get to that.

We come back to the fight between Weiss and Vernal as Weiss tries to buy herself enough time to summon her knight. Vernal easily cuts through her summoning though… which is kind of a relief? In that RWBY (usually) knows when to limit new powers. If Weiss had no real limitations on her summoning—the time it takes, the energy it requires—we’d be wondering why she didn’t just summon a whole, super-powered army every time they were in a spot of trouble. Too many shows (Supernatural...) craft crazy powerful characters and then conveniently forget about that power when it would too easily solve a conflict.

Also, check out that smile from Vernal.

We segue to Cinder and Jaune. Kudos to Jaune for holding his own one-on-one! He really is Pyrrha’s student. Remember what other kid managed to hold her own against a freaking Maiden, at least for a time?

Emerald won’t let Ruby get anywhere near Cinder. She “owes her everything" after all. But she’s willing to indulge her (so to speak) and summons up a mirage of Cinder to fly at Ruby. That and the resulting attack startles her enough that she sets off Crescent Rose, the bullet narrowly missing Weiss.

…Portent of things to come.

Because we’re back on Weiss and it's becoming clear to the viewer why we’ve been focusing so much on her in this battle. A shock from Vernal’s weapon rips out a scream from her, draws Jaune’s attention, and Cinder cruelly asks if he’ll “let her die too.”

Gotta have the fake-out first though. Deciding to take him seriously, Cinder charges with intent to kill and the head-on strike triggers Ruby into remembering Pyrrha’s death. Her silver eyes instinctually go off, blinding everyone and halting the battle.

Emerald knocks her out fast but even those few seconds was enough to effect Cinder. Apparently once you’re struck by that kind of power your body remembers it. She’s down on her knees, clearly in pain, and Jaune takes the opportunity to get a strike in, managing to clip the half-mask she wears.

And yeah. Cinder’s pissed.

Partly from getting caught in one of Ruby’s blasts again. Partly because a “nobody” like Jaune managed to hit her. Awful when that power you sought isn’t as perfect as you were promised, huh? Jaune makes the mistake though of declaring that he’s not important, only his friends are… and Cinder knows exactly how to make one of the good guys suffer.

Why just kill him when you can instead kill the girl he was worried about moments before? Why grant him peace when you can vividly recreate the trauma of Pyrrha’s death instead?

We have just enough time left in the episode to see the team’s shocked faces, watch Cinder’s weapon disappear, and then we cut with Weiss in mid-fall.

It’s a brutal combo of content and editing. Thanks, Rooster Teeth! I hate it!

We all know how things turn out though… so that's some kind of comfort. Until next time!

Other Details of Note

When everyone enters Haven tower we see this statue… and honestly I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. Something something it’s a maiden guarding a Maiden relic. Something something broken chains and freedom. Something something Atlas-esque imagery of holding up a world…you get the idea. It’s symbolic.

Cinder calls Qrow “little bird” and Lionheart “lion.” Always something wonderfully creepy about villains with a penchant for nicknames.

When Jaune first charges Cinder we pull back behind the chain on the statue and see it sway from the force of his attack. It’s quick and subtle, but an excellent visual detail to show us how strong he’s gotten. Pre-Fall of Beacon Jaune never would have managed that kind of force.

For all its faults in places, I enjoy how much this fight makes use of space, especially when it comes to Weiss using her glyphs. It’s not perfect or as complex as what we might have had with Monty, but I think the team is improving in their choreography overall.

Yes, Jaune is well over his schoolboy crush on Weiss---something I'm pleased about---but it still hits hard to have her as the victim here. Out of every team member Cinder could have targeted she chooses the one other girl Jaune might have had legitimate, romantic feelings for. In an alternate timeline, so to speak.

So the whole “villain walks slowly towards the person they’re gonna kill and everyone who normally has superhuman reflexes doesn’t move an inch” trope is crazy annoying, right? Just putting that out there...

#rwby #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

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themyskira · 6 years ago

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Wonder Woman: Earth One, Vol 2 - Part 1

I’m going to break this into a few parts, because it turned out I had a bit to say. I’ll start with my overall impressions, then dive into the spoilery recap.

General thoughts: Next verse, same as the first.

Grant Morrison purports to want to explore Marston’s ideas, but he’s more interested in the kooky, kinky trappings than the sentiment behind them.

Marston was radical and progressive in his time. Writing in the 1940s, he told his readers that women were men’s equals — and even superiors! — in every way. He told young girls there was no limit to what they could do. His stories promoted love over hatred, peace over violence, rehabilitation over retribution.

If Morrison had taken that bold sentiment and reimagined it through a lens of modern society and feminism in 2018, he might have had a compelling story to tell. Instead, he takes Marston’s ideas as he understands them and transplants them wholesale into a time in which they’re no longer radical and progressive, but rather backward and out-of-step with modern intersectional feminism, and then proceeds to ask such deep, incisive questions as “yes but realistically could we actually replace all world governments with a matriarchy?????”

He never truly deconstructs any of Marston’s ideas, just parrots phrases like “submission to loving authority” a lot and raises questions without ever making a decent attempt at answering them. To be fair, part of the problem is that he’s simply trying to do too much at once: juggling parallel stories in Themyscira and Man’s World, an interrogation of the Amazons’ philosophies and the introduction of three new antagonists and the tensions they cause, all within a limited page count, Morrison is unable to devote the necessary time to properly developing any of them. It’s no wonder the result is so half-baked.

But hey, just throw in a bunch of vagina planes and a dusting of kink and watch as everyone crows over how subversive he is.

Yannick Paquette’s artwork is still beautiful. His page layouts are still dynamic and expressive, and his character designs are still lovely. Diana in particular gets a variety of very cool outfits, including a beautiful modest costume for a trip to the Middle East.

But he still can’t shake his tendency towards drawing women’s bodies in weirdly-contorted poses with bizarre pornfaces. Wonder Woman shouldn’t look like she’s orgasming as she’s leaping into battle, ffs.

Oh, and the series is still being edited by noted serial sexual harasser Eddie Berganza. HASHTAG FEMINISM!

Let’s get into the recap.

Content warning for some skeevy mind control content and general discussion of the gender essentialist, body-shaming, TERFy attitudes of Morrison’s Amazons.

The story opens with a flashback to 1942, with Paula von Gunther leading a Nazi invasion of Themyscira, and god I’m already so tired.

idk, I mean, I get that Nazis were a major Golden Age antagonist, and Morrison is harking back to that. But there’s a broader historical and cultural context to consider. Cartoonish Nazi villains in patriotic WWII-era American comics carried very different associations than they do in 2018, in the midst of a presidency steeped in white supremacy and hate speech, on the eve of a midterm election in which a record number of neo-Nazis are standing for office, at a time when hate groups are surging, when migrant children are being separated from their families and held in detention camps— just. Not a time when I want to be reading about cartoonish super-Nazis, personally.

And I don’t really see why they necessarily need to be this story? The battle serves to illustrate how Amazons combat and… “rehabilitate”… their adversaries. Paula ultimately serves as a plot device. Couldn’t that maybe have been achieved without Nazis?

Anyway, Paula announces that she is claiming the island for the Third Reich, and Hippolyta is like “lol no”.

Okay, that part I like. Evil army storms the island, backed by guns and warships, surround a half-dozen barely-armed women… who all but roll their eyes. ‘Pfft, children. Fine, if you want to play this game…’ And the evil army can only gape in bewilderment as the women proceed to take them apart in minutes.

But this is where it gets weird.

The Amazons fire a purple ray at all of the Nazis, which… makes them all drop their weapons and start screaming “YES!” orgasmically?

Hippolyta tells Paula that the soldiers “will be taken to the Space Transformer. They will be transported to Aphrodite’s world where Queen Desira and her butterfly-winged Venus Girls wait to purge them of their need for conflict. They will be taught to submit to loving authority. They will learn to embrace peace and obedience. They will be as happy as men can be.”

Paula attacks Hippolyta, rips off her magic girdle and heaves a great boulder over her head— wait, were we supposed to know that Paula had superpowers? That seems like something that should have been flagged.

She effortlessly takes down the Amazons who rush to the queen’s defence and takes a moment to cackle villainously. “Behold the pride of Germany! The ultimate daughter of the thousand-year-empire of Adolf Hitler!” To which Hippolyta— okay, I like this part, too.

Hippolyta calmly gets to her feet and puts Paula in a stranglehold. “We are the Amazons of myth, my dear! I am Queen Hippolyta eternal.” She swiftly and efficiently brings Paula to her knees.

But, welp, never mind, it’s about to get fucking creepy again.

Hippolyta forces Paula into “the Venus Girdle”, a device that “charges every body cell with vitalising currents and harmonises the brain, encouraging obedience.”

Paula: Let me go! What is that? What are you doing? Hippolyta: The Venus Girdle? It charges every body cell with vitalising currents and harmonises the brain, encouraging obedience. A dainty thing, is it not? Paula: I won’t— I won’t— You can’t control me— you can’t— can’t make me— make me... oh… make me…

Paula: nmmuhhh… What’s happening? My Nazi ideals— slipping away— they— they don’t make any sense now… I— I thought— I thought— I was strong. What’s wrong with me? I’m so weak— I must be weak to wish to serve weak, cruel men— like— like Herr Hitler— I— I— Hippolyta: If you truly long to be a slave to the ideas of others, well… we can find a loving mistress to help you explore your desires in a healthier context. Paula: Yes. Yes! My queen— [sob] —how can you ever forgive me? How wise of you to know— to know this is all I ever wanted! Hippolyta: Devote yourself to me by following the Amazon Code. Go with out sweet Mala to Improvement Island. There you will come to know yourself until the Venus Girdle is no longer required.

Paula: But all I want is to serve you, my queen! I love you! Please don’t turn your back on me!

Basically, Hippolyta forcibly uses a mind-altering device on Paula that alters her brain chemistry to make her placid, compliant and suggestible, then immediately washes her hands of her.

So… let’s talk about this, because I think it strikes at the heart of the problems with Wonder Woman: Earth One.

Queen Desira, the Venus Girls, magnetic golden Venus Girdles that “harmonise the brain” — all these things are drawn from Golden Age Wondy comics cowritten by Marston and his collaborator Joye Kelly. Marston played with mind control a lot in his stories, and not all of it came from the bad guys.

Morrison’s bold, subversive approach to these story elements is to export them wholesale into the present day and force us to feel uncomfortable about them.

In other words, he’s taking some of the weirder and more fucked up story elements from a collection of comics that are widely agreed to be very weird, and then plonking it before your readers and asking, ‘hey guys, have you ever considered… that this might be weird and fucked up???’

There’s nothing clever or insightful about that. And there’s certainly nothing groundbreaking about a cis white male writer imagining a fictitious feminist dystopia where women strip away men’s free will.

Like, if you really want to be subversive with Marston’s Wonder Woman, how about you start by hiring a woman to write it? Why not see what this iconic feminist hero conceived by a cis white man in the 1940s and written almost exclusively by cis white men for over 75 years might look like if she were reimagined and reinterpreted by LGBTI women, by women of colour? By the women left out of those original comics?

That would be subversive. Morrison is just being a smartarse.

So yeah, Hippolyta turns her back on the helpless, brainwashed, lovesick Paula and walks over to Diana, who’s defied her mother’s orders and run down from the palace to get a glimpse of the action. She’s full of questions; Hippolyta brushes them off with the usual (for Morrison’s Amazons) ‘men are shit’ line.

There’s a moment where Paula and Diana meet eyes from across the beach, and each asks, “who is she?” Diana is simply curious; Paula is instantly lovestruck.

Paula: That girl… the image of my queen.

This looks like foreshadowing, but spoilers: it goes absolutely nowhere.

Sidenote: If the Amazons deal with invaders by brainwashing them, why did they want to kill Steve Trevor in Volume One?

Cut to present-day America, where a room of faceless men discuss the threat posed by the Amazons and their superior technology, which they assume extends to deadly weaponry. The only in they have with the Amazons is Wonder Woman, and to get through her defences they’ve called in “an expert in female psychology”, aka a misogynistic monster.

Doctor Psycho: Gentlemen. She may be strong and tough and smart and beautiful… but she’s just a woman. I never met one I couldn’t break.

Oh, goody.

Cut to a cute splash page of Diana playing baseball. She gets a lot of great outfits in this book.

She’s also clearly making an impact in Man’s World; her face is plastered across every magazine, and people flock to hear her speak.

A Q&A sessions serves as a thinly-veiled opportunity for Morrison to answer some of the criticisms of the first book. His response leaves something to be desired.

“Amazon training can make any of you into a Wonder Woman,” says Diana. We teach a system of physical and psychological health and vitality. The grace and beauty of Aphrodite, the skill and wisdom of Athena.”

Woman: What about Wonder trans women? Is there room for people like me in your utopia? Diana: There’s room for everyone. The Amazon Code was evolved by women over thousands of years and outlines a progressive, pacifist way of living and thinking that anyone can follow.

I’m sorry, but that’s a fucking bullshit answer. It’s a weak, superficial gesture towards inclusiveness that conspicuously fails to express any real support or solidarity.

And depressingly, this is 100% in-character for Earth One Diana, because Morrison’s Amazons? are absolutely TERFs. As with the mind control content, Morrison has exported Marston’s 1940s binaristic gender essentialism unchanged into the 21st century in order to ask searing questions like ‘hey but what if??? the idea that women are genetically more suited to ruling??? is simplistic and flawed?????’ But the most he’ll engage with the genuinely insidious implications around the exclusion of trans and nonbinary people is a smiling noncommittal, ‘Are trans people welcome? My friend, everyone is welcome! No further questions!’

Morrison’s Wonder Woman displays a profound disregard of context. He ignores not only the cultural, historical and individual contexts that shaped the original 1940s Wonder Woman, but also the contexts of the time in which he’s currently writing and the cultural space that Wondy has come to inhabit today as a feminist and LGBT icon.

Removed from context, Morrison is simply taking a hero who traditionally hails from an advanced utopian society, taking another look at the views that society actually espouses, and reframing her as a well-meaning but naive hero from an advanced but deeply flawed and unsettling society.

In context, he’s doing exactly what Brian Azzarello did in turning the Amazons into murderous man-hating monsters, just with more kink and vagina planes.

Woman 2: Umm, there’s a lot of stuff on social media about how you dress provocatively and promote an unrealistic body type, which is basically setting a bad example for women. I mean, the stuff you do is amazing and all, it’s just… does any of the criticism bother you? Diana: I don’t think there’s any such thing as an ‘unrealistic’ body shape. My own body is the result of diet, exercise and… um… sophisticated genetic engineering. Otherwise, I dress as I please.

Volume One made it clear that all Amazons have the physique of supermodels, and when they encounter the diverse body types of the women in our world, they are disgusted and respond with body-shaming insults. Here, Diana again avoids voicing any actual support (she doesn’t say that all women’s bodies are beautiful and valid, she suggests that her body type is not unrealistic), while also throwing out eugenics as a reason for the lack of body diversity among the Amazons. Oh good, I was hoping we’d get more Nazi parallels!

Finally, a militant white feminist stands up and observes that if the Amazons are capable of half of what Diana says they are, then they could dismantle the patriarchy overnight — so why is Diana wasting time giving philosophy lectures? “You can control people’s minds with that lasso of yours. Like you did with that dude on TV— so why can’t you put a lasso ‘round the whole world?”

Afterwards, talking to Beth Candy, Diana’s like, ‘gosh, Beth, I’ve never seriously thought about world domination before, but maybe it is time to consider stripping all mortals of their free will, dismantling all nations and compelling everybody on the planet to bow down before Amazonia.’

Then Diana gets on her mental radio and calls her mother, confessing her doubts about her mission.

It was around this point in the book that the Amazons’ dialogue began to grate on me. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was at first. Every line read like a ceremonious pronouncement. They used antiquated syntax and words, like “whole systems … must o’erturned be” and “she did, without due caution, this, her island home, depart!”. Even Diana would become infected with it whenever she was speaking to them. It felt like they weren’t so much conversing as they were reciting…

...verse…

oh my god, that motherfucker.

Surely he hadn’t.

I scanned the dialogue again. I double-checked it.

He had.

Grant Morrison, that obscenely pretentious wanker, wrote all of the Amazons’ dialogue in dactylic hexameter.

For fuck’s sake.

After finishing her call with Diana, Hippolyta learns that somebody has vandalised one of the temples with the symbol of “a backward-turning sun”, i.e. a swastika. Unseen by everybody, Paula breaks into Hippolyta’s palace.

#comics talk #wonder woman: earth one

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jbuffyangel · 7 years ago

Text

Bored Now: Arrow 6x19 Review (The Dragon)

What in the ever-loving hill tops of Olympus was THAT?

I was exhausted Thursday, so I missed the episode. However, I waited until Sunday because I wasn’t motivated to watch given the fan reaction. But I figured it couldn’t be that bad right?

Yes. Yes it can.

I would rather watch Oliver pontificate about his super-secret plan to stop gun violence (without revealing his super-secret plan to stop gun violence) than “The Dr*gon.” I would rather watch L*urel earn her BC suit (without really earning it) by hallucinating her dead sister. I could watch Oliver and Sara bang fifty times over. Yes, I know what I am saying. 6x19 is worse than all the terrible 13th episodes combined! After six years and 134 episodes I am bestowing “The Dr*gon” with the title of WORST EPISODE EVER. Congratulations. We have a new low.

I flitted between enraged and bored watching “The Dr*gon”, so I feel Evil Willow’s iconic expression conveys my emotions nicely.

Let’s dig in… it won’t take long. I promise an excess of snarky gifs.

Felicity Smoak and Curtis Holt

This is the first week post Oliver firing Felicity. Yes, he can dress it up any way he likes, but that’s exactly what he did. Felicity chooses to devote her extra free time to her company and reaches out to Curtis for a truce. A truce in these writers’ minds means FELICITY APOLOGIZES TO CURTIS.

Liz Kim, who co wrote the episode, explained:

Let’s pretend we live in a world of rainbows and unicorns where the main governing body is the Girl Scouts and instead of paying taxes we get free cookies.

We must live in this kind of world to understand what Liz Kim is pushing. Fine. Felicity isn’t holding a grudge. She’s being the bigger person and is sorry for her role in the fight. If we look objectively at all six characters Felicity has the least to apologize for, but that’s just details.

What infuriates me is Curtis just stands there and glowers at her. He oozes moral superiority, contempt and arrogance.

Why, dear writer, didn’t Curtis then apologize to Felicity? If this is all about being the bigger person and not holding a grudge, why didn’t Curtis step up to the plate next? Last time I checked, Curtis has as much to apologize for if not more than Felicity. Instead, we get Felicity apologizing to yet another man on this show and Curtis just stands there like a condescending lump.

UNACCEPTABLE.

Then Curtis cannot hide his glee over Diggle quitting the team. He wants to skip around the room and sing, “Nananana boo boo” while Felicity is distraught about her husband being alone in the field. CURTIS HAS THE NERVE TO TELL FELICITY HE MUST FIGHT THE DESIRE TO GLOAT. But sure, what an amazing friend.

Listen asshat, if you tell someone you are trying not to gloat that’s the same as gloating.

Why is Curtis the only “friend” Felicity is ever allowed to speak to? Why couldn’t she have gone to Lance or even Diggle. Diggle has a beef with Oliver, not Felicity. I don’t see how going to Curtis is any better than going to John in Oliver’s eyes. Hell, I’d take a phone call Thea over this. I don’t need to hear her side of the conversation.

How does anything Curtis says correlate to real friendship? He states the obvious – Felicity is using work to distract her from worrying about Oliver. OH MY GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH CURTIS. WHAT WOULD WE HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU HERE TO EXPLAIN THAT COMPLETELY OBVIOUS PLOT POINT TO US ALL?

Then, he almost laughs in her face about it, but can control himself enough to only gloat. Wow. Felicity’s friendship cup runneth over. And last, but not least, he refuses to take any responsibility for his role in the team breakdown. How magnanimous of him. What a petty little prick.

Also, why is Curtis always the one to fix a problem with the Helix tech? JUST ONCE I would like to see Felicity solve something tech related to this company without Curtis’ help. Felicity Smoak can program and hack anything. SHE INVENTED THE KEY PIECE OF RAY’S ATOM SUIT. But whenever Curtis is around she is forced to be clueless and rely on Curtis’ brilliance to save the day because LOOK AT WHAT A GOOD TEAM THEY ARE. She is a shining example of a genius female character and now she’s being used to prop Curtis’ man baby brain. It’s nauseating and unbelievably insulting to my gender.

If this is the route Arrow chooses to fix the breach between the two teams (OTA members apologizing while Newbies gloat) then I can safely say I will not forgive the newbies for anything they’ve done. They will be on my list of “Characters Who Need to Die” for the remainder of the show. Starting with my number one spot – Curtis Holt.

Olicity

At least the writers knew the only way to get Olicity fans to watch this garbage pile of nonsense was to stick a 3 minutes Olicity scene at the end and promo the crap out of it. Unfortunately, the scene didn’t give me “all the feels” the writers intended.

Felicity comes home in a panic after watching a news report stating the Green Arrow is probably dead.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

Oliver pops up behind her and a very relieved Felicity throws herself into his arms. Any gooey feels I have over Felicity’s concern and emotional hug are about to be obliterated. Felicity informs Oliver this set up doesn’t work for her. When she’s in the bunker, and knows where he is or can see what is happening, it’s easier to cope with her worry. Oliver condescendingly implies there’s very little Felicity can do to help him while she’s in the bunker.

Excuse me, but is Oliver a pod person now? How do we get from THIS

to THIS

to THIS.

Do the Arrow writers watch Arrow? This is why people get so fed up. We can go from one episode to the next and characters act completely OOC to push a storyline along. Oliver “You’re My Partner” Queen is now saying Felicity can do very little to help?

Let’s just unravel the entire basis of the show and the reason the character exists in the first place

for another bullshit Oliver Queen regression that makes no sense.

All I am asking for is a modicum of character cohesion and storyline consistency. Is it so much to ask that the Arrow writers know the show and characters they are writing for? I think not.

After Felicity correctly argues she can and HAS helped Oliver many times, he does another 180 and tells Felicity she can never be helpless. Cool bro, but you stated the exact opposite 15 seconds ago.

Oliver decides it’s time to placate his wife’s legitimate fears by telling her he will always come home.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

Sure, it’s a nice foreshadow for the future since Oliver is probably going to land himself in jail. This scene can serve as reassurance for all those terrified Oliver is going to do 25 to life. I take issue with the promise, however. Do you know why Oliver didn’t make that promise to Felicity in 2x09?

Because he respected her too much to lie to her. Oliver knew then he doesn’t always have control over what happens to him in this line of work. Accepting death and not being afraid of it is part of the job description. Oliver knows this is a promise he can’t keep because NOBODY CAN. The tiny look of hesitation and resignation his face after hugging Felicity proves it.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

We tell our children little white lies to ease their fears because sometimes they aren’t old enough to understand the truth. Was the promise Oliver made to William completely true? No. Should he have made the promise? Probably not, but I understood why he did. Oliver was trying to ease his son’s fears because William is a child.

But Felicity is a grown woman. Oliver doesn’t need to tell little white lies to his wife so he can continue his deeply stupid need to regress. The only reason Felicity needs to buy into this obvious lie is so she can function while Oliver is out in the field by himself. How about Oliver LISTENS to his wife and acknowledges the truth – he can’t do this without her. Even emotionally stunted Oliver Queen understood THAT.

We’re really supposed to believe emotionally evolved Oliver doesn’t?

I MEAN GIVE ME A FRIGGIN BREAK.

This is why viewers get so frustrated with Arrow. The characters can change personalities like the show changes writers.

Things we know to be true, and are the backbone of the series, are tossed aside to make an illogical plotlines work. It does nothing to service the characters, show or viewers. All that’s left is a terrible hour of television.

The Dr*gon and Bl*ck S*ren

The function of this episode is to make us give a flying flip about the Dr*gon. However, we are given a sloppily slapped together back story that doesn’t connect to any of the main characters whatsoever – particularly Oliver.

Di*z grew up in an orphanage and was bullied by an older boy. This is the reason he’s become a menace to society.

He named his fear “The Dr*gon” and tattooed it everywhere because he’s so tortured and intense.

He’s been trying to move up the criminal ladder to conquer his fear and be respected as a legitimate crime lord. Ummm… okay? Good luck with that. WHY DO I CARE? Oh, that’s right. I don’t.

Ultimately, Di*z gets a seat on the Quadrant (Season 7 villain set up for sure) and revenge on the kid who bullied him as a child. The moral of the story is don’t be a bully because someday the kid you tortured might show up on your door step and light you on fire.

I thought this was supposed to be the season of many villains. Weren’t we doing away with the singular Big Bad? Why are we suddenly zeroing in on the lamest villain in the group? He’s so lame the writers had to come up with an entire episode to mitigate the lameness.

Di*z and Sir*n spend 85% of the episode sitting in a car trading fortune cookie sayings with one another. They go on and on and on about power, control and not being a dog. It’s a lot about not rolling over, bellies, tails... maybe an ear. Think of every single villain cliché you’ve ever seen and that sums up “The Dr*gon.”

Di*z’s moves are utterly predicable and I’ve heard the dialogue in about fifty other shows/movies. I wish they had just gone full throttle with plagiarism and stuck, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse” in there. It’d feel more honest.

BS spends the entire episode asking the big strong man how to be a big strong villain. So, a win for feminism all around.

BS is so busy telling Di*z not to “roll over” she fails to see she’s following him around like a lost puppy.

Di*z is the lamest Arrow villain in history (Yes, even worse than Sebastian Blood), but BS is his henchman. So, what does that make her? Nothing good! I’ll tell ya that much.

In C*ssidy’s defense the dialogue is cringe worthy, but she didn’t make it any better with the over the top acting.

BS tells Di*z not to be a wuss, but when he listens she acts like she has a problem with violence. YOU JUST TOLD HIM NOT TO ROLL OVER. HE’S DOING WHAT YOU ASKED, KEVIN.

Yet, her eyes cannot behold the horror of Di*z beating a man. Her soul withers at the sight of Di*z killing. She blinks, sighs and turns away in disgust. SHE IS SO CONFLICTED.

Oh, holy hell. Are you kidding me with this crap? This is the same character who killed a security guard begging for his life. This is the same character who screamed in another man’s ear until his veins popped. She’s tried to kill the team multiple times. It’s a little difficult to believe BS has a hard time watching someone get punched. But we’re supposed to believe it because REDEMPTION. Sorry, Imma gonna need a little more than excessive blinking from C*ssidy to sell me on that one.

Di*z’s need to be a legitimate crime boss doesn’t mean the character translates as any more than the common street thug he is. His backstory is intended to make him look complex, but it does the direct opposite. We’ve seen “a villain is made not born” trope a thousand times, including on Arrow. Unfortunately, “bullied in an orphanage” doesn’t hold up against the backstories of Slade, Merlyn, Ra’s Ahl Ghul or Prometheus.

BS has the nerve to compare Di*z to Adrian Chase and I laughed out loud.

BS spent all of 15 seconds with Chase, but she knows his anger consumed him? Okay, cupcake. Whatever you say. Comparing the genius ways Chase inflicted pain and revenge on Oliver to the Dr*gon’s hum drum plan of vertigo and the Quadrant is just wrong. Why didn’t they do this villain focused episode with PROMETHEUS? That would have been a good time.

“But Jen, you didn’t like Prometheus at first. You thought he was boring and then you loved him.” Sure, that’s true, but by episode 19 we were full throttle on Adrian’s crazy.

There’s nothing to unmask with Di*z. This isn’t Josh Segarra going to another level. If it was those things then 6x19 was the episode to do it. All that’s revealed is more boring on top of boring. I can tolerate a misfire in the 10-15-episode range, but we’re rapidly approaching the end. It is incredibly late in the season to be telling us why we should give a flying fig newtin about Di*z. The writers need to come armed with a hell of a lot more than bullied and power hungry for a chair.

Stray Thoughts

It’s safe to say it’s going to be a terrible episode if the writer is tweeting as a PR defense strategy. We shouldn’t need episodes explained to us, but if we do then the answers should make a modicum of sense.

Oliver was in episode 3x10 more AND HE WAS “DEAD.” There’s a reason why Stephen Amell is the star. He carries the show. Don’t ever bench him, writers.

This wins Twitter:

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 6x19 gifs credited.

#arrow #arrow 6x19 #felicity smoak #olicity #anti curtis holt #anti ricardo diaz #anti dragon #anti black siren #anti laurel lance #arrow reviews #arrow season 6 reviews #season 6 episode review #season 6 episode reviews

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benyavin · 7 years ago

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your favorite breaking benjamin album!!

MARIA!!! How dare you??? (I love this I love you but w h y would you EVER ASK ME?? TO C H O O S E ?????? Between ALL SIX (((SIX!! There’s a new one!!))) BEAUTIFUL BREAKING BENJAMIN ALBUMS WHEN LITERALLY ALL OF THEM ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME)

Clearly you must have known you were asking for an essay on Breaking Benjamin albums. So I shall humor you, as there is nothing I love to talk about more.

Saturate - 2002Okay okay okay if I had to pick a /least/ favorite it’s probably this one. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I DO NOT LOVE IT OR THAT IT ISN’T AMAZING. Ahem. Disclaimer over. This was the first album, figuring stuff out and getting their name out there. It doesn’t have the polish of more recent recording techniques or the wisdom from years of experience of what’s going to resonate with people. It’s young. It’s raw. It’s reckless and edgy in that I’m-in-my-early-20’s-and-trying-to-be-grown-up way. It’s mouthy and sexual at times (Shallow Bay, No Games). It’s strange and weird at some points. (Skin, Sugarcoat, Natural Life, Polyamorous, I’m looking at all of you). But it has a lot of strength. From | out of the ground, I rise to grace; nobody knows it’s just a phase | to | come and take my breath away, look me straight in the face | to | what I want from this world, what I want to resolve: well, I want you to stay, so I want you to wait | to | you said you’d love to see the end; the long, hard road that I have been | to that soaring triumph at the close of shallow bay, | you live, you learn, you’ll live | as the guitars fade and the strings sing for the last few seconds. The building rumble and screeches and melody of Natural Life. The long slow hand drum intro to Phase. The cheery pace and melody of Skin. The stripped back, questioning, Forever. There’s a lot of bright moments and beautiful details, but the biggest thing about it is all the potential it reeks of. It’s a solid album and deserves more love. 7/10

We Are Not Alone - 2004FORGET IT!!!! EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND GO LISTEN TO IT IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!A more than satisfying successor to Saturate’s potential, WANA showcases the maturity Ben’s songwriting has achieved in just two short years. Every song was written with the same amount of intent - he doesn’t write singles and then filler, he writes every song to be single-worthy and then cherry picks the singles out of the bunch, and the quality-centric approach is evident. The cold selfish rage of Believe, the detached broken-heartedness of Break My Fall, Sooner Or Later, Away, the soft folded up sadness in Forget It and Rain, the driving desperation of So Cold, the self-deprecation of Firefly….| Cold am I; I’m beside myself because there’s no one else | | I’ll be there for you till my heart is black and blue | | is it you I want, or just the notion of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around? || and now I find you’ve left me behind, I don’t know what to say, so never mind || never mind, forget it, there’s nothing to lose but my mind and all the things I wanted |It’s very good and very solid. A lovely album. Not quite through with it’s mouthiness, the sexual edges toned down a bit more, everyone knew they were going places with this album. As a whole it has a coldness to it. It’s a dark picture of life it paints, but it does so in beautiful, if sometimes somewhat sloppy, strokes. And, well. To be human is to be messy. WANA is, at its heart, a very human album. 9/10

Phobia - 2006Their big break!! The album most fans discovered them through, many of whom swear they never have and never will top it. Phobia begins a recurring theme of touching on mythical ideas, sprinkling angels (evil ones, in this case) and the devil as characters in the familiar, gritty, determined narrative. Driving and melodic music and snappy drum tracks carry some of Ben’s best vocals yet along on a sweet sweet ride. It’s not as dark as WANA or as immature as Saturate, displaying a bit more hopefulness and intention to carry on despite the difficulty and pain, and the last bits of overtly sexual themes play themselves out in Topless, a song from 2002 that never made it onto previous records. It’s gripping and cohesive and sonically just a pleasure. The iconic The Diary of Jane and Breath, the steadfast Until the End and Unknown Soldier, the rage of Had Enough, the brokenness of Here We Are, You, and You Fight Me, the desperation of Evil Angel and Dance With the Devil. It’s a wonderful album and deserves all the love. | forgive me, my love; I stand here all alone and I can see the bottom | | hiding, betrayal, driving the nail, hoping to find a savior || so clever, whatever, I’m done with these endeavors || flat on my lonely face I fell, finding in the end, I live well || it only hurts just once; they’re only broken bones || I believe in you; I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies |Fantastic 9/10

Dear Agony - 2009IT’S MY ALBUM!!! MY BIRTHDAY ALBUM, MY LOVE LIKE NO OTHER!!! (Okay so yes you could make an argument that this is indeed my favorite. And I would probably agree, but I’d feel really bad about it because all of them are good!!! Most flat out fantastic!!!! DA just holds a really special place in my heart that nothing can ever displace.)It’s tight, it’s sound, it’s cohesive and raw and all the growth of the previous albums honed to perfection. It’s a masterpiece. It’s beauty, rage, and heartbreak. It’s so cold and emotional. From the sharp anger of Crawl, Lights Out, and What Lies Beneath, to the hopelessness of Hopeless (hehe) and Fade Away and Dear Agony, the grief of Anthem of the Angels and Give Me a Sign, the indomitable will of I Will Not Bow and Into the Nothing, the catharsis and mourning of Without You. This one has it all.| falling forever, chasing dreams; I brought you to life so I can hear you scream || all in all, you’re no good; you don’t cry like you should || days go on forever, but I have not left your side; we can chase the dark together, if you go then so will I || stay with me, you’re all I have left, I know we can make it out alive || now you wanna take me down, as if I even care; I am the monster in your head ||no longer the lost, no longer the same || holding the hand that holds me down; I forgive you, forget you, the end | | carry me to heavens arms, light the way and let me go, take the time to take my breath, I will end where I began |In conclusion, go buy it and force it in your ears right now 11/10

Dark Before Dawn - 2015I waited FIVE YEARS for this. FIVE Y E A R S. And it was worth every minute. DBD has huge nostalgia/dream come true status for me that it will never lose. I was there for this one. I experienced everything going on around it and there’s nothing like the first time. It’s a solid album, the theme of the title played out wonderfully with the intro and outro tracks, Dark and Dawn respectively. This album incorporates a new element, a feeling in the music I can’t think of any other way to describe than as spiritual/uplifting. This element even gets lyrical recognition in the marked departure from their usual style, Ashes of Eden, as well as in The Great Divide and Defeated. The anthemic Failure, Angels Fall, and Never Again, the brokenness of Hollow and Close To Heaven, the pain of Bury Me Alive and the clunky, bright Breaking the Silence. It’s a lovely album given cohesion by the fine details. The intro track is a compelling slow song into soft moans and a trademark roar over echoey tapes of a man describing the human response to rage, fear, and pain. The outro track starts with the soft pattering of a recording of his infant son’s heartbeat, followed by gentle vocalization from Ben and his wife. The album art is a solar eclipse against an ocean, a tiny island barely visible in the crashing water; in the clouds in the dark where the moon blocks out the sun, you can see the outline of Ben’s son’s sonogram. It begins in a dark place and ends in bliss. It’s the happy ending we’ve all been dreaming of after a life of struggle. It’s full of love and beauty for all the pain in the music itself. It’s a precious thing.| I’m coming home; release me, my love | | we bury the sunlight || I’m chasing the righteous, becoming a part of you || never surrender, out of the embers, save a space inside for me || are you with me after all? Why can’t I hear you? || stay alive; heaven holds a place for us tonight | | divided, I will stand, and I will let this end || leave all the lost souls behind; show us we’re worth forsaking |Absolutely incredible 10/10

Ember - 2018Okay so I wasn’t so excited about this album for a number of reasons. One being I have been way too busy to pay a lot of attention and the songs they released before the album as a whole were good but not quite what I was hoping for, another being the betrayal and loss of a close friend and the association of her with the thing we both loved and became friends because of. So I judged it rather unfairly at first. BUT on hearing the album as a whole the first time all that was blown out of the water. It’s absolutely beautiful and it both breaks my heart and makes me stronger. The heartbreaking out of left field piano and thunder track, The Dark of You, moved me near to tears. Tourniquet and Down fill me up with rage and determination to conquer the things that have held me down these last months. The sheer desolation of Feed the Wolf and Red Cold River, the strangely optimistic Torn In Two, Psycho, and Open Your Eyes, the self-destructive Blood. Some people complain that it’s too repetitive in terms of things they’ve done before but I would like to again remind everyone that there are now, with this album, four people who are not Benjamin who are trying to write Breaking Benjamin songs. Of course they’re drawing off older themes. They’re trying to be true to the sound and they’ve done an amazing job and honestly all of you need to shut up and stop being so ungrateful. Give them some time to figure out how to be more “original” while keeping in line with the core of what Breaking Benjamin is. This album is still amazing and is one for the books.| and now the weak that fall, return to ash, defeated after all || I will fight this war for you, and let the dawn of love survive | | I can’t feel anything at all; this love has led me to the end || carry me o’er the ground, heavy won’t hold me down || love will tie the tourniquet and suffocate me || I am the warm embracing || and all that I regret, I have before, I will again || with my dying breath, I keep this prayer alive |Go buy it RIGHT NOW!!?!! 10/10

In conclusion: *screams endlessly into the void* I’M A MESS AND CANNOT MAKE DECISIONS. EVERYTHING IS AMAZING I AM JUST OVERWHELMED BY ALL OF IT. NEVER ASK ME THIS QUESTION AGAIN (unless you want another rant/review post, in which case, please do!)

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sirrobin126 · 7 years ago

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oh god, not boring at all, you know i’m always ready to throw down about Smallville with you

my favorite female character: Lois Lane. She’s so perfectly my type, she’s bossy, determined, passionate, sassy, flawed as hell and a complete wreck, but smart and insightful as well and so dedicated to the truth that she will throw herself wholesale into trouble to pursue it. She also takes no shit and refuses to learn from her failures, which is a massive flaw and also makes her perfect in my eyes.

my favorite male character: Hmmm...well....I guess...ah, I guess it has to be Lionel Luthor. I mean, fucking, who else could I say and have you people believe me? He is, unlike Lois, a very bad person, and I love every minute of it. He is calculating, ruthless, brutal and precise. However, he is also a massive fucking DRAMA QUEEN who uses impressive sounding quotes in every sentence, and fences his own son to prove a point about the business. His major flaw is how he underestimates people (especially Chloe) who he sees as beneath him, and I love that because it shows how his paranoia and carefulness is tempered by his massive (and well-earned) sense of self-importance. He is ruthlessly evil and flamboyantly intellectual and dramatically inclined all at the same time and I adore it.

my favorite book/season/etc: I think it would have to be Season 4. Lois shows up and just turns it up to eleven. Tom’s acting becomes instantly a hundred times better as soon as they start to have scenes opposite each other. It is also the domain of prison!Lionel and the rise of goody two-shoes Lionel which is just *chef’s kiss* perfection.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Okay, a couple that I love. Transference (because I love body swap episodes, also the creepiest and completely canon Mionel moment), Mercy (because Mionel 4eva and a fucking day, also that tank top), Suspect a.k.a Who shot Mr Luthor (because in one single day Lionel manages to piss off so many people that like five people are all equally likely to have shot him, which makes you wonder how he isn’t constantly being shot all the time) and also Luthor because... hot damn, amirite?

my favorite cast member: I don’t actually know that much about the cast themselves in this one, but in terms of actors, my faves are John Glover and Michael Rosenbaum, because I legit think they are the best actors on the show. And also John Glover is an amazing character actor in everything, and always gives a hundred percent to the stupidest shit (see: my icon)

my favorite ship: oh god, I’m the biggest multi-shipper in the world, but let’s keep it brief and just say, p much any Lionel ship, specifically Mionel (for reasons I have detailed again and again on this blog, and will forever), Lionel/Jonathan (because come on, enemies to lovers anyone?), Lionel/Martha/Jonathan (because why choose two when you can have them all)

a character I’d die defending: Hmmm, let’s say apart from Lionel, who I of course would drop everything for. It would also be season one Lex (my child), Lois because I love her, and my son Clark Kent, whom I love and cherish.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Davis Bloom. Mostly because he sucks. And also because I don’t count any of Season 8′s Veritas plot as canon because it’s stupid as shit. Oh, Lionel knew about a prophecy about an alien child coming to earth and made preparations for it and then knew Clark was that child and then never acted on it and was a dumbass about it? Fuck off. Lionel kept a diary in which he drew super detailed portraits of a child in a cage instead of taking a fucking picture with a camera? Please, I'm keeping the character skill and ignoring that dumb shit. Lionel kidnapped a child and kept him hidden in a room in his house before realising he could get nothing from him and driving the child away and making him get out of the car and then driving off? Well... actually that does sound like something he would do but you’re on thin fucking ice. Also I just couldn’t stand Davis, and I didn’t like Chloe’s character when he was around, and I hated the whole plot.

a character I grew to love: This one’s a twofer. Because first off Lana Lang, first time I watched I just couldn’t fucking get behind her. I thought she was wishy-washy and nothing. Second time I watched I understood her a bit more, and watched her as just as much of a broken, lost person as the others, rather than the pedestal everyone put her up on. If she had stayed in Paris, I would uncomplicatedly love her, unfortunately she did come back and that all happened. The other character is Whitney Fordman because tbh he was unfairly maligned by the show and I will not stand for it. Yeah, he did like two irredeemably shitty things, and other than that he was just a regular goddamn teenage boy with insecurities and a complicated relationship with the future like anyone else. The show painted Whitney as the unreasonable, neglectful boyfriend, when he was just a normal dude who sometimes paid less attention to Lana than he did to his other commitments but who was always regretful of that and offered to make it up to her. He was also there a hell of a lot more than Clark was, mr something’s come up and I can’t meet you. He was painted as unreasonably jealous when actually, when you look at it from his point of view, his girlfriend is lying to him about spending time with a guy who obviously has a crush on her. Lana refuses to tell him about meeting Clark, and lies about where she is, and yeah, that’s suspicious as hell, he has a right to be concerned. Whitney was a regular ass guy who had succeeded based on his football skill and good looks in high school and who was scared to death that that was all he had to offer the world and no one around him was giving him any reason to believe anything else about himself. I understand why Clark was anti-him, but I don’t forgive the show for doing him like that. Team Whitney-has-a-vivid-internal-life-and-wasn’t-that-bad-actually.

my anti otp: It’s gonna be kinda boring but, Clark/Lana. And that’s not just because i’m Clark/Lois til I die, but because I think the on-again, off-again relationship was unhealthy and bad for them both. They kept realising it was never going to work, and then they kept ignoring that and going back to each other. Also, even though i was just talking about how much I’d grown to like Lana, she is not ready to be in a relationship because she has a whole bunch of shit that she has not fucking worked out for herself and she is not great to Clark as a girlfriend, and Clark also cannot give her what she needs as a boyfriend. If Lana had left the show after she went to Paris, I would have been super into it. She and Clark had broken up, Lana was completing her journey as a character and getting out of that Small town she hated, full of memories and expectations. It’s what Lana deserved, but they kept bringing her back and ruining every development she made as a character. It wasn’t fair on her and her relationship with Clark as the seasons went on kept pissing me the fuck off.

Whew, god I talk about Smallville so damn much. I hope this is what you were looking for. @justanotherfan

#long post #i'm sorry for talking about it so much #no wait #no will believe that #it's not true anyway #i will always talk about this shit more than anyone wants or needs

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marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer · 7 years ago

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MTVS Epic Rewatch #182

BTVS 7x03 Same Time, Same Place

Stray thoughts

1) I think it’s cute that Xander used a yellow crayon to write the welcome back sign for Willow. And the guy is right, he did save the world with his mouth. And his heart. Let him have that.

2) Buffy’s and Dawn’s concerns are 100% totally valid, though:

BUFFY Yeah. It's gonna be weird seeing her. What do you say to someone in this situation?

XANDER I'm gonna say "Hi, Willow."

BUFFY C'mon. You're saying it's not going to be the least bit strange? We saw her kill someone. She was about to kill Dawn—

XANDER And Giles wouldn't let her leave unless she completed that whatever recovery course.

DAWN Right. Right?

BUFFY She kinda didn't finish.

DAWN She didn't finish? She didn't finish being not evil?

3) I fucking love when shows pull this type of stunts, okay?

Also, poor Willow. I mean, it’s kind of a bummer that she went all dark and veiny and murdered Rack and flayed Warren and beat the shit out of Buffy and Giles and kind of tried to end the world, but it doesn’t matter if you’re evil and trying-to-end-the-world-y, NO ONE deserves to be stood up at the airport!

4) Gnarl is definitely one of the creepiest Monsters of the Week. And the writers achieved the creepiness way before we actually saw the monster, you know? Just its sing-songy, taunting voice and eerie words are enough to give you chills.

5) This has nothing to do with the episode itself, but guys, I have to share this. So I’m getting to the part where Willow arrives at the Summers’, and I’m thinking about the plot of the episode, you know, how Willow can’t see the Scoobies because she’s ashamed of herself and doesn’t want to face them. And then I’m thinking, oh, but she does see Anya, I guess she didn’t feel guilty about any of the things she did to her. Or maybe it was because Anya was a demon, and that protected her against this accidental spell? And then I’m thinking, I wonder why she wasn’t nervous to see Tara, what would have been like if they had written Tara into th… ??????????????????????? Like, I actually forgot Tara was dead????? And I was like, happy???? And imagining what it would be like for them to meet again? And then, you know, I fucking remembered. Anyway, moving on. (I just thought I’d share because it’s the first time I’ve actually forgotten a character is dead….)

6) Willow remembers, though. Vividly.

DAWN Well, if she's doing that—ducking Giles—then, she's evil, right?

XANDER Well, I've avoided Giles tons of times. Just meant I was lazy, not evil.

8) Dawn says it like it is, is all I’m saying…

BUFFY He's blaming himself pretty hard, like he should've known she wasn't ready to come back. I-I kept telling him, you know, it wasn't his fault. Maybe something about us she couldn't face.

XANDER Like she didn't think we were ready to forgive her? I get that.

DAWN So Giles is blaming Giles, and we're blaming us. Is anyone gonna blame Willow? Oh, don't give me shock face. I mean, will anyone around here ever start asking for help when they need it?

9) The Magic Box is out of business, and it’s so sad. I guess they couldn’t nab the same contractors the Bronze has, huh?

10) This is kind of rude of Willow, isn’t it?

ANYA They've been a little temperamental lately, just between you and me. We had this little mix-up a few days ago, and —

WILLOW That sounds great. So, um, where do you think they'd be?

I mean, she’s so insensitive towards Anya, even when Anya is the only person in Sunnydale who’s giving her the time of day (to her knowledge) and actually listening to her and answering her questions. Yet, when Anya tries to talk about her stuff, Willow immediately cuts her off. Rude much?

11) And then this…

I get that it looked too coincidental-y: Willow’s back and so are the flayed corpses. But… it’s pretty disheartening that they immediately assumed it had to be her. Even when she was dark and evil, she was only driven by revenge. She had only hurt or tried to hurt those who’d hurt her and those who tried to get in the way of her hurting those who’d hurt her. She didn’t go after innocent bystanders. So why would she flay a random guy in the school’s lot? Unlikely.

12) I really feel sorry for Spike, though. The fact that he’s the only one who can see and talk to everyone in the room makes him look extra crazy. But he is, in fact, the only one who actually gets what’s happening? Of course, he’s talking in riddles a la Drusilla and therefore he’s not conveying the message clearly. Kudos to James, though, because he reenacts the scene twice to a tee.

13)

SPIKE Look at you... glowing. What's a word means "glowing"? Gotta rhyme.

14) Anya is me.

EXHIBIT A

WILLOW I need help.

ANYA I don't have any money.

EXHBIT B

ANYA Come in. Enjoy my personal space.

EXHIBIT C

WILLOW So, will you help me?

ANYA Is it difficult or time-consuming?

15) Character development + mutual understanding = perfection…

ANYA And the vengeance itself, it's not as fulfilling as I remember.

WILLOW Really? 'Cause I got the impression that you enjoyed—you know, inflicting.

ANYA Well, causing pain sounds really cool, I know, but turns out it's really upsetting. Didn't use to be, but now it is.

WILLOW Is it like you're scared of losing that feeling again. And that having it be OK to hurt people. And then you're not in charge of the power anymore because it's in charge of you?

ANYA Wow, that was really over-dramatically stated, but, yeah, that's it.

WILLOW I get it. Believe me.

ANYA I'm sorry, Willow. I wish it were better for you.

WILLOW You too.

16) This moment is fucking perfect…

Sign me up for the bisexual Anya mailing list.

17) Also, sign me up for the Dawn Watcher mailing list.

18)

XANDER Well, we could ask some questions over at Willy's place

BUFFY Or, we could be smart. Sorry, Xander

XANDER What?

19) See? She’s a dork. She’s already meeting the requirements to be a perfect Watcher.

BUFFY It's pretty easy. Spike follows the exciting smell of blood, and we follow the fairly ripe smell of Spike.

DAWN It's smellementary.

And let’s be real. Puns? She’s totally emulating her big sis.

20) I don’t know why this is such an iconic exchange, but it is.

SPIKE That's it. End of the line. Everyone off. Keep your ticket, you'll need that.

BUFFY That's a rock cliff.

XANDER Well, give him a break, Buffy. Maybe it's a vicious skin-eating rock cliff.

SPIKE There's a cave in it. Look. I'm insane. What's his excuse?

21) Creepy!!!!!!!!

And the slurping sounds!! Just ugh ew yuck!!

22) Paralyzed Dawn is one of the best things to come out of this season. I mean…

23) Didn’t they learn in Fear Itself to read the fine print before jumping to conclusions?

BUFFY Oh, got it. It says the paralysis is permanent. (Dawn squeaks) No, oh, wait, my bad. Permanent until the creature dies. Sorry.

24) Your fave could never…

25) tHE ACTUAL BEST!

26) This scene is so beautiful and heartwarming and seven seasons in the making, you know? It’s such a hopeful and bright way to start this season, especially considering the last time we’d seen Willow and Buffy interact they’d been kicking each other’s asses. It’s kind of sad knowing that towards the end of the season they’ll be growing apart yet again. I mean, Willow is even admitting Buffy was right to doubt her because that’s what Buffy must do, she just has to be the person who considers the worst case scenario and ponders the tough choices because else, she won’t be doing her job right, you know? If she were an accountant, that’d be okay. But in Buffy’s line of work, not doing your job right equals dead people. And Willow gets it. It’s kind of ironic that this trait and thought process will turn out to be the very same thing they will throw on Buffy’s face when things get rough.

WILLOW It's nice to be forgiven. Too bad I need so much of it.

BUFFY I have a confession to make. I thought it might be you. With the flaying.

WILLOW I know.

BUFFY I wanna be the kind of person that wouldn't think that. Xander never thought it.

WILLOW He did, a little. Heck, I did a little. Xander has the luxury of not saying it, but you're the slayer. You have to say stuff like that. It's OK. It's OK too if you still don't think I can recover from this magic stuff, 'cause, honestly, I'm not that sure about it either.

BUFFY I thought you were too tired.

WILLOW It hurts too much not to try.

BUFFY I'm sorry.

WILLOW It just takes so much strength. I don't have that much.

BUFFY I got so much strength, I'm giving it away.

WILLOW Are you sure?

BUFFY Will it help?

WILLOW Much.

BUFFY Good.

Not gonna lie, I got all teary-eyed at Buffy giving away her strength to Willow. That’s what true friendship looks like, kids. When someone gives you the strength you can’t find in yourself to help you overcome something.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #BTVS #Buffy Summers #Willow Rosenberg #Xander Harris #Same Time Same Place #recap #mine #MTVSepicrewatch #BTVSrewatch2015 #btvsrecap

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