#i can be normal i can be normal. workplace affirmations

[gideonisms]

Okay job Finally starts tomorrow I know you guys are following this employment journey at the edge of your seats ♥️

[kingdomsheart]

i start my new job tomorrow so naturally i’m drinking tn and playing genshin to distract myself from the panic attack that’s been trying to consume me all day 🫡💪🏼

[lilmissnatcat24]

are you ready for the trope i've been foaming at the mouth to finally write

“Vakarian?” Pallin’s voice called out from his glass office. He gestured him forward with a flick of his fingers. “Can we talk? Now?” 

It was never a good sign when Pallin called someone aside. He, like most other turians, was professional, bordering on emotionless. Which made it all the most devastating when he would pull someone from the case, or fire them with a neat little severance package, or tell them that they needed to go pick out chunks of a vorcha out of a car grill on Tayseri (and, speaking from personal experience, was probably one of Garrus’s least favorite days working for C-Sec). 

Garrus ignored the immature chittering that came from Chellick, Ridgefield, and Lamont as he joined Pallin down the hallway into an empty office, normally kept clean and tidy for telling families that their children and their parents were found somewhere on the Citadel murdered. Pallin gestured at one of the seats for Garrus, pacing back and forth with a datapad tucked underneath his arm. 

Pallin looked incredibly uncomfortable. He was fidgeting with his armor, fidgeting with his gloves, fidgeting with his mandibles, fidgeting with just about everything in a five foot radius that could be fidgeted with. Garrus realized he’d never seen Pallin look so nervous before. 

He placed the datapad down on the table, looking up at Garrus expectantly. “Is this true, son?” 

Garrus was terrified to pick it up. It could be just about anything. Saren’s orders to fire Garrus from C-Sec, transcripts from a listening device that implicate Garrus in his investigation, a paper trail linking him to a sex club… He picked it up and read: 

Consensual Relationship Agreement

Citadel Security is committed to creating a work environment free from harassment, discrimination, conflicts of interest, exploitation, and favoritism. 

It is against Citadel Security policy to use a position of authority to induce another person to enter into a nonconsensual relationship. Indeed, even consensual relationships in the workplace can cause disruption and other problems in violation to company policy. 

The purpose of this agreement is to affirm that Delia Shepard (Officer- Drugs and Trafficking) and Garrus Vakarian (Officer- Homicide), both employees of Citadel Security, have agreed to engage in a welcome, consensual social relationship--

Garrus’s tongue felt like a foreign object in his mouth, his stomach dropping down several levels. What the everliving fuck was Shepard thinking? His entire face was so stupidly warm, so warm that he was sure that Pallin could feel it from across the room. 

“I--” 

“Listen, Vakarian,” Pallin said in a fake sort of soft professional voice. This was why he was so uncomfortable; dealing with HR matters like this always made him unsure of what to say, or how to say it, or where to put his hands when he talked. “I’m not going to be the one to tell you who you can and can't see when you’re not at work or how to spend your free time. But are you absolutely positive that this is how you want to play this?” 

“Um… I mean… we-- I guess, the two of us… um…” Garrus had no idea what to say. Luckily for him, neither did Pallin, evidently. 

“I don’t need to know the specifics, please,” he put his hand up, a pained expression on his face. “Just… just make sure this doesn’t get in the way of your work, yeah? No… no quickies in storage closets.” 

“No, sir,” Garrus said so quickly it sounded like one garbled, stuttering mess. 

“I better not be able to smell her all over you.” 

“No, sir.” 

“And I sincerely hope you don’t spend all of your time on the seventh floor at her desk. You need to be at yours, working. Is that clear?” 

“Yes, sir.” Pallin opened his mouth once more, then thought better, closing it. He waved Garrus away, a clear end to the conversation. Garrus stood, his head feeling as though someone replaced his brain with feathers and flies. And, doing exactly what Pallin told him not to do, went straight for the elevator and punched in the seventh floor.

[bengiyo]

Cherry Magic TH Ep 7 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Achi realized how much Karan has been quietly taking care of him, and realized that his life is harder without Karan around. He realized that he wasn't doing either of them any favors by holding back and ran to him. Pai, seeing her ship about to set sail, "borrowed" a motorcycle to make the airport scene happen. Meanwhile, Rock affirmed how much he admires Pai, and Min and Jinta had a very cute impromptu date.

Yes, Pai, silence the Rokaku analogue so he doesn't ruin a moment.

There is a beauty in the sunset in that it's safest to look at the sun when it's moving away.

Now I want to read How To Be A Normal Person again.

There is a softness with Jinta and Min that I really like.

As a man, it is so sexy to me that Karan wanted to take Achi to get this shirt.

I'm with you Pai. Good food and good shows can keep you going for a while.

Oh good. They're just rushing Jinta to finish the book and not to make a character straight.

You know this barista is a good friend because he's giving Karan shit.

Good. Jinta should keep his glasses.

Jinta, bro, put your fucking glasses on.

Goddamn Tay Tawan is beautiful.

Why are we getting in a helicopter? This is how we lost Kobe! This is not KinnPorsche!

Look at Lays giving the ad to the het pairing. A bold decision

He's talking like Rob Thomas! Get out of there, Pai!!

I'm enjoying Min and Jinta a lot. Mark plays fond well, and I like the show playing out Jinta realizing explicitly that he has to talk and listen to develop closeness.

Incredible. Karan is going all out but this date is rather flat.

Okay, I am enjoying the bestie debrief after their dates.

This episode has been kinda slow, but I am enjoying Achi talking with Jaran directly about how he's feeling.

This scene was really good. Thai BL often relies heavily on dialogue to convey feelings, and I think Cherry Magic is well suited to that. I like that there is an explicit question about being a couple.

Ah, yes. It's time to deal with the magic powers.

Oh no. We're using the workplace itself as an obstacle now.

This episode felt a bit slow, but it finished pretty strong. I'm really enjoying the way Achi feels distinct from the Japanese versions of Adachi, and I like the way they responded to the busted date. Curious if they're using the workplace and the boss as a sort of paternal obstacle.

[celestial-corner-of-desires]

Good day~ I have another idea, if I may, please? More softness~ How about some winter merriment? Dietfried and his significant other are being childish together -- playing snowballs, catching snowflakes on tongue, accidentally slipping on ice and pulling each other down? And, since you mentioned it in the first request, maybe it could be that perfect moment for a proposal, while laying in a pile of snow? As always, thank you so much~

I am so sorry dear for taking too long to write this! There have been complications that occurred for the past couple of weeks, so please forgive me. I hope this will make you happy!

"Formation soldier!"

You stand proudly, straightening your back, and placing one hand to your heart to salute.

"Boots on?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Cozy creamy sweater in place?"

"Affirmative."

"The red scarf gifted on the date a year and a half ago by beloved?"

Trying to contain the laughter in, you lightly responded, "Certainly, captain."

"Are the comfortable boots with warm brown coat ready to go?"

"As expected, sir."

"Good work soldier."

"Sir yes sir!"

A moment of silence falls between the two of you. The tension of the moment seems serious, until Dietfried breaks down his facade, running his hand through his hair and letting out a sigh.

"I still don't understand how you find my commanding voice more charming than my normal voice..."

"Hehe! C'mon, it is rare for you to use your serious voice outside your workplace. It helps me see all of you, not just dotting and caring lover."

Letting a grin form on his lips, he struts towards you. He looks down on you from his height, and bringing his arms around you to secure you by his side.

"Just doting and caring? What about charming? Or even handsome? Would it be too much to be called by one's lover se-"

Leaning forward, you let your lips greet him in a warm sensation. It was a quick peck, you pulling out, only for Dietfried to lean forward wanting more. His smooth lips captured yours, as if there was a magnet between you and Dietfried lips that pulled you back together, no matter how much you pulled back. You can taste the bitter coffee on his lips, mixed with a bit of his cologne and fruit fragrance from stealing a bite from your fruit during breakfast. A few giggles escaped your lips as Dietfried continued to kiss you for the next few minutes. Feeling the lack of oxygen overcoming you, you pulled your head away, only to push your forehead toward his forehead.

"As much as I would love to continue this fun 'lip exercise'," Dietfried chuckled at your wording, "Someone promised me to spend all day playing out in the snow. Rings any bell, mister?"

"Do we have to? I feel quite cozy next to you my beloved."

Giving him a pout seemed to do the trick, as he takes a deep breath, moving his head up before kissing your forehead.

"Let me get my gloves, and we can head out."

Excitement flashed through your eyes, beaming with the joy of a child. Dietfried loved that look on your face, the pure happiness that you shine to everyone around you, but only he can make it come to life. He treasures those moments when lingering past dark memories play with his perception of the world outside of warfare. Letting go of your warmth, much to his desire to hold on to you for a bit longer, Dietfried retrieves his leather gloves from the box on top the table next to the entrance, before extending his hand and looking at you.

"Shall we go before the snow melts?"

Taking his hand, you walked out of your house, heading in the direction of the outskirts of the city. Sure, there were plenty of places in the capital city where both of you could play around, but if there is one thing that both of you value it's quality time. Having a peaceful day full of laughter and excitement was more of your style between you and Dietfried.

As you walk up the road, you notice a giant snow hill, which appears fluffy and layered with different shades of crystals. A thought pops into your head. You let go of Dietfried's hand, before sprinting to the snow puddle, plumping into the thick layer of snow face forward. You can feel how deep you have sunken, barely maneuvering how to get out. Steps began to approach you before their owner shook his head.

"You are good there? Would you like a hand?"

"Nah, I got this. Give me a moment." a muffled noise came from you, causing Dietfried to sigh. A few seconds pass by with no motion coming from your body.

"Help."

"What's the magic word, love?"

"Get your ass here, before I make you join me." A burst of light laughter escaped Dietfried's lips before he lifted you by your waist. Turning you around, he wiped the snow from your cheeks and your hair. He wasn't sure if you were blushing from the snow or embarrassment.

"You look adorable, you know that right?"

"Compare to you, of cours-" You were met with the snowball lightly hitting your face. Looking flabbergasted and speechless by this betrayal, Dietfried began to hysterically laugh. Taking this chance to get at him, you formed a decent-sized snowball, delivering to his face, knocking him to the ground. Seating up from such an attack, a glimmer passes through his eyes. You can feel the chills pass through your body of the danger that was about to come.

"You are on, princess."

For the next couple of hours, you and Dietfried went from tossing snowballs at each other to finding a cabin nearby next to a frozen lake. Fortunately, there were multiple skates left over, so why not have some fun skating together? Only for Dietfried to be good at the art of ice skating, while you were trying to get a few steps in without falling like a newborn baby. Luckily, your lover chose to help you out, taking it slowly until you got the hang of it. Then, it was just you trying balance skating and trying to catch snow on your tongue. Getting Dietfried to try to do it as well, he almost crashed into the snow, causing you to giggle a bit.

As the exhaustion began to slip through your bones, both of you chose to lay on a cushion of snow hill nearby. Taking deep breaths, you conversed about heading out soon, thinking of a warm beverage waiting for both of you to warm up your bodies. The moment of tranquility between you and Dietfried felt like time had frozen. The sound of nearby animals, the withered branches, even the wind has seized to be heard. Dietfried couldn't help but think this was a moment. A moment to tell you how much you mean to him. A moment to tell you how lucky he is to have you by his side. A moment to make you his till death do you part.

Sitting up from his spot, Dietfried tunes out in his thoughts. Thinking that something bad has run through his mind, you sit up alongside him, placing your hand on top of his. Something was bothering him, but knowing that it would be best if you let him address it would make him more comfortable. You sit in silence, until a soft voice comes from Dietfried.

"Do you recall the day two week after we met? When I accidentally tripped mid-air, hopping that no one would notice, only to have you witness that mess?"

"Oh, yes! Goodness, the look of embarrassment on your face was something I'm unlikely to forget, haha. Why bring it out all of a sudden?"

"Heh, while you remember it as something of a fun memory, for me to was a trigger of catalyst. Despite seeing me in that state, you were willing to help me out and ensure that I looked presentable. You chose to show me kindness, and from that point forward your kind heart has been something that I treasure the most in my life."

Turning his head towards you, he takes both of your hands into his before continuing, "I know that for the past couple years, many horrible and unexpected events have occurred. So many people have suffered and after losing Gilbert, I honestly thought that those conflicts and the aftermath of war would completely crush my mentality. But there was an anchor that always kept me from losing sanity, and it was you."

You breath hitched at the change of tone from Dietfried.

"I may not be the best person out there for you, not deserving your love after committing so much horror for the sake of surviving the brutality of reality, not fully appreciating everything you have done for me. But I am trying. And I will continue to improve myself, so I could prove how much you and your heart have changed and healed me. There is not a single day goes by, when I am not thanking God for gifting me this opportunity to be with someone like you. I know you say that you disregard yourself, thinking that you are a burden to other for sharing your troubles, not feeling beautiful compare to others. However," he takes a breath. "I will spend the rest of my lifetime proving to you how incredible you are, that you should cherish the person I love the most. Reminding you that everything you tell me. Everything! It means a lot to me because I know that you feel confident share what troubles you, makes you happy, your preferences, your distaste, all of it! And no matter what anybody says to you or your mind decides to tell you, you are most beautiful, fascinating, funniest, and kindest person that have ever existed."

At this point tears were coming from your eyes like waterfalls, stopping at nothing as your heart was feeling lighter than a weather from such sincere and beautiful confession.

"Which is why, I must ask you something."

Pulling out a box from his coat's pocket, he opens it up with alluring ring, with the main stone being your (f/c). Moving your hands to your mouth, your mind went static, unsure how to handle so much emotion brewing in your heart.

"My dear (Y/N), I vow to always love you, to care for you, be it your brightest moment or the dimmest. I promise to cherish every moment of our time together. Will you do an honor for me to call you my wife and treat you like the only one in the world that my heart screams for from the moment I wake up to the moment my eyelids can't keep up. Will you marry me?"

From the look in your eyes and a giant smile stretching across your face, Dietfried could feel his soul leaving his body from how breathtaking you looked. Nodding your head softly, you spoke,

"I do. Till death do us apart, and may we reunite in death as well."

[sylvies-chen]

alright nobody asked for it and yet somehow I feel like this fandom needs it so let’s put our thinking caps on and talk about the women of the rookie, flawed female relationships, and where exactly the rookie falls short in terms of representation:

so I should start with the positives and affirm that the rookie does show very well the systematic barriers that a lot of women face in the workplace, from professional perception to workplace advances to insubordination due to sexist thinking in a largely male dominated field. and all of this makes for really great and sadly relatable content for us viewers, because almost any woman with a pulse has had an experience with a shitty workplace environment and discrimination. these barriers and prejudices are as old as time and it’s naive to think they don’t exist, so to see our experiences validated and recognized, especially with three women of colour at the centre of the show, is rewarding and is part of what makes the rookie sooooo good.

at the same time, how the rookie deals with those barriers narratively can be troubling. there doesn’t always seem to be a sense that the environment, the attitudes, or the system will or should change, but rather that these women will learn how to adapt to the circumstances around them and overcome the odds. instead of the hurdles being pushed to the side, the woman molds herself into someone able to jump over them, which then undermines the idea that the systems should change at all. and this feels good to watch on a surface level— watching a woman like nyla harper literally hold her breath underwater and then point a gun at a criminal after having just given birth, or angela prove she’s right on every case, lucy winning the shooting champ or being top of the class for UC school, bailey being flawlessly trained in practically every useful skill— but it becomes a problem when it doesn’t leave enough room for error.

and the only thing that truly bothers me about this show is how it writes its women into a standard of perfection that is simply unrealistic. nyla, angela, lucy, and bailey all have moments where they might seem a little fashion-obsessed, hypersensitive, sassy, or demanding, but these moments are mostly exaggerated for comedic effect (in a way that is stereotypical in and of itself). however, at no point are these women ever WRONG. save for celina making honest mistakes as a rookie which could easily be pinned on nolan too, the women of the rookie have seldom if ever had to genuinely apologize to their male counterparts. their reactions to events and circumstances they face have been nothing but proportioned and appropriate, they never leave a loose end hanging, they don’t crack under pressure or lash out. things often, to me, feel very contained when it comes to the women of the rookie, and I can’t help but feel like the rookie is subscribing to this more neoliberal, performative version of feminism that— where true feminism says women should be equal to men even when they’re imperfect or unlikeable or flawed or in the wrong or make mistakes— turns around and says feminism means women can be just as strong as men if not stronger and watch this impeccable girlboss make zero mistakes in heels and eyeliner prove our point.

this is where fandom reaction also plays a part in things. there is a tendency in this fandom to protect lucy at all costs, but because of the slightly one dimensional way the show writes women, this protective instinct often ends up protecting lucy from ever being wrong or flawed. and not flawed as in she has baggage or pain, but in that she makes a rash decision or lashes out or judges someone too quickly or gets too cocky, which are all normal things we’ve all done at one point or another. the storyline with tim kind of illuminates this well, because the one storyline which focused on lucy having to deal with a genuine mistake and learning to move on from it professionally was turned into a haranguing on tim for allegedly not being cool with her going into uc and letting her make the mistake when she asked for hardass TO tim instead of helping her. so the storyline which could have been about how an overthinker like lucy finds a way to let go of the guilt of a mistake and show growth from a previous flaw becomes a storyline about how she actually didn’t do anything wrong, and the system is against her. then the standard of perfection is maintained in fandom and in canon, because no one will admit where lucy has shortcomings… so she just never has them.

case in point also goes with nyla and angela!! because they are pretty much always in the right and are allowed to be as short as they want with people because of it. and they’re not necessarily good with people all the time (at the very least this isn’t shown to be a strength of theirs) but that could have been developed as character flaws in need of developing and instead it wasn’t. and now people in the fandom insist that nyla and angela are mean, vindictive, and hateful towards lucy because they looked at her wrong— which, again, leaves them no margin for error. but also I honestly believe the reason that fan reactions were so strong was because we never see this women be anything but supportive to each other, and we never see them be anything but badass!! lucy can’t be in the wrong and they need to be understanding, there just isn’t any flexibility in our perspective. they don’t have enough moments of humility or shame or recklessness or weakness. and real equality comes when women who are messy and imperfect can easily access that kind of power and respect, not just women who try to remain flawless.

[rikaluver]

For I Have Touched Your Heart

A Willry Fic & Possibly My Fav One I've Written, Enjoy <3

William doesn’t know where to keep it. He’s normally smart but I mean, who would know where to keep the severed heart of your best friend? He kept it in the fridge for a few days before remembering he had a wife and kids. So yes, he’d move it elsewhere.

He tried his bedside drawer, though that also turned out to be a pretty terrible idea, there was one point he’d accidentally forgotten about it whilst his wife was looking for something and had to come up with an excuse as to why what she was looking for couldn’t be in that specific drawer. He almost entertained the idea of returning it to Henry, but he couldn’t do that to his best friend. He gave him his heart for a reason and there was no way he’d return it.

Eventually, he puts it in the top drawer of his work desk, no one visits his office enough to warrant it as an inappropriate place to keep a heart.

He looks at it every now and then while he works. Sometimes he just wants to look at it. He remembers when Henry gave it to him and sometimes he just likes to reminisce. He sees Henry every day but it’s nice, to feel the weight in his hand. He loves the reminder that he has something of Henry’s, something near and dear and literally his heart.

He misses Henry and opens the drawer, grabbing his heart. He lets the blood run between his fingers, lets it soak into his skin. It brings him comfort, knowing it still beats. It’s been eight months since he’s received Henry’s heart. Henry has since been made a permanent fixture of his person. He doesn’t know why he keeps it. He has a wife. He doesn’t feel for Henry in that sense. At least he thinks he doesn’t.

There’s a knock at the door but William doesn’t notice it until the door squeaks open.

“William…” It’s not the voice of an employee, but he’s refusing to admit to himself what that means.

He looks up and it’s Henry. He doesn’t look shocked to see William holding his heart, he looks sad if anything, but not surprised.

The sound of his own heart beating fills his ears, followed by footsteps and a chair being dragged, then Henry is sat next to him.

“You kept this?” It’s a quiet question, if he wanted to he could ignore it, keep acting like he doesn’t feel something for Henry, his Henry.

But he’s never really been able to lie to his best friend.

“Only because I didn’t know what to do with it.” It’s not a total lie, and he’s trying to keep his voice down. He passes the heart to Henry.

“You didn’t have to keep it, Will…” it’s said so softly. He can tell Henry has to blink back tears.

He doesn’t really have anything to say, not really. There’s a heart in Henry, in his own hands, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. They’re quiet for a bit, the whirring of the fan filling the silence.

It’s pleasant.

At least, before William decides to speak.

“What do you want me to do with it?” it comes off as a silent plea to let him keep it, let him keep some memory of what they once were.

“It’s yours, you can do whatever you want with it.” He pauses for a second, William knows not to interrupt, sometimes it takes Henry time to find the right words. “Though, I don’t think keeping it in your workplace is the smartest thing to do, Will.”

“Where else could I keep it then, Hen?” That name is sweet on his tongue, he feels like he hasn’t said it in years.

“You could eat it.”

“Is…that safe?” He’s not sure why he’s entertaining the idea. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it, and the thought of it doesn’t make his stomach curl like it should, it instead just makes a warm weight settle in his chest.

His hands grasp his heart tighter, “is any of this safe?” He makes a good point.

“Are you sure?”

Henry makes a small noise of affirmation and then closes his own hand around the heart.

William’s lips part slightly and he traces a delicate finger across his canines, his mouth parting more and more until he can feel Henry’s arm shift, bringing the heart closer and closer to his mouth, the metallic taste already reaching his taste buds as it's placed next to his lips.

And then his teeth sink into the cold flesh.

The first bite is strange. It proved more difficult than he anticipated; the thick layers made for pumping blood fighting against his teeth and jaw. Eventually, he gains a foothold, sharp teeth gripping into the muscle, tearing through nerve endings and arteries. It’s sour, the orange-red blood seeps out with a grotesque squish.

It takes him a second to swallow it, the slimy texture making him gag slightly as it goes down his throat. He steels himself and takes another bite from the sweet-sour fruit offered up from Henry’s palm, it goes smoother this time around, he knows what he’s supposed to be doing, knows how the muscles fold and break under his teeth, and it’s refreshing.

It doesn’t take long to finish it, Henry holding the last piece between his fingers and placing it into his mouth like it wasn’t part of him. There’s blood running down his mouth, for a split second he fears he may throw up, but he quickly gets used to the sensation of muscle between his teeth.

It takes him a second to finally look at Henry’s face, and oh, what a captivating sight it was. Why hadn’t he looked up beforehand? His shirt is also stained a deep red, and it shouldn’t feel this hot.

The warmth spreads through his chest, and he knows. He knows what he feels for Henry.

They sit there together, the whirring of the fan the only thing between them and silence, and the taste of iron coating their tongues.

He doesn’t regret what he did, and Henry doesn’t regret giving William his heart.

“Can I kiss you?” He doesn’t realize he’s said it, but he can’t take it back now, not after something like that.

Henry chuckles and nods, then there’s a hand at the back of his neck, and warm lips against his own. It’s a chaste, soft kiss. It feels right. The kiss tastes like blood, how could it not, it’s the best kiss he’s had in his entire life. It feels like Henry is trying to burrow into his chest, teeth nipping at his lips before pulling away.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for…a while.”

[fake-wizard]

No matter how much you put down other trans people, transphobes are still going to hate you and to them you will always be a disgusting transvestite

There are people at my workplace - who don't know I'm trans - who think trans people are gross. Do I care about their approval? No. Do you think they are pro-gay? No. Do you think they're pro-abortion? No. Do you think they'd love it if I were presenting as a masculine woman instead? No.

Am I trying to get these peoples' approval by affirming homosexuality as natural and beautiful, and supporting female separatism and gender nonconformity? You do the math.

I don't even care if there are radfems out there that think negatively of me for transitioning. The purpose of feminism is female liberation. I'm not going to throw women (or gay people) under the bus so that I can surround myself with unquestioning validation, grow a spine. I believe homosexuality exists, I believe sexism exists, and I have found the mainstream trans community is incompatible with that.

I've met far more radfems that want trans people to have safe normal lives, and just see me as one of many ways to exist in the hellscape as a woman. I'm happy being a transitioned woman. All of this is way simpler than you think.

[bethany-thinking]

Read Along: For Women Only: The Performance of a Lifetime

Subtitle: Why Your Mr. Smooth Looks so Impressive but Feels like an Imposter

My Mr. Smooth is currently doing all the household chores including my share today so I can have a relaxing Mother's Day sitting in my pjs, drinking coffee, and writing snarky blog posts. I'm not too worried about him because he is impressive, but let's get to the chapter so I can learn more about all the ways I can harm my marriage in this chapter.

So, this chapter looks like it's going to be all about what is more commonly called imposter syndrome. Which studies have shown is actually a bit more prevalent in women but yes of course men experience it too. Let's just be clear though it's not a man-centric problem.

The first part of this chapter just describes fairly normal types of imposter syndrome that men might face at work. This is normal. Women experience it constantly in the workplace. A good relationship should help anyone stay grounded and be reminded of their value. The key to working through imposter syndrome is not being propped up and told you are good though, it's the self work of learning to affirm what you are good at, acknowledge where your weaknesses are, and realize that everyone is human and figuring it out just like you.

Feldman then quotes a man that wrote her and told her that some men might withdraw an active role in his family if he thinks his wife challenges his decisions or is displeased with him. I often think that men in particular discount the weight that is placed on women constantly in these types of books that if they don't keep their husbands happy that their husbands will leave them or cheat on them.

FYI: Imposter syndrome is someone not recognizing their actual strengths and capacities. It's not the same as someone being held accountable for actually not fulfilling their roles or responsibilities.

So what do we do, ladies, so our husbands don't leave us?

"Affirmation is everything" This is where we take a little roadtrip over to Proverbs and visit the seductress woman who is temping the young man with flattery. Ladies, your husband is supposed to be getting that flattery at home and if not, well, you get the drift of where he might go for it, and it will be your fault (queue in a circle of red caped women pointing at you).

Oh wait, sorry, correction, at home it's "affirmation" not "flattery". Not really sure the difference since Feldman has made it clear over and over that you pretty much just affirm whether it's based on reality or not.

There is actually a sub-title in this chapter "He'll seek affirmation somewhere" just in case you think my summary is exaggeration.

And three whole paragraphs on giving "supportive sex". I'm guessing we will more clearly learn that our husbands will cheat on us if they don't get enough "supportive sex" but I'm guessing that will be most clearly explained in the sex chapter.

We end the chapter with learning that "we can give our husbands confidence". Again, there is plenty of good stuff here if you would just remove the he's going to leave you messaging, broaden it out to be something that we all need versus a man thing, and also recognize that it's not just about affirming someone but encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. Sometimes that might include helping them address weaknesses too.

And that's chapter 3!

[krinndnz]

I expect to be lost in the noise of other replies here, but to affirm and concur: fuck The Game. Godawful horseshit. My experience with it was pretty innocuous, but I retain a searing visceral hatred for its cousin, a card game named Mao, which has a similar "we can't tell you the rules, but everyone else knows them and if you screw up at following the rules you don't know, you get the same penalty as the people who do know the rules, except not really because they know the rules and can thus avoid breaking them, and you can't, sucks to be you, huh?" dynamic. Fuck that, fuuuuuuuuuuuck that.

There are already too many games like that in society, games where your participation is coerced and anyone with power can stab you over and over and over and over and over and then stab you more in the belly instead of in the face and the inconvenience caused to them by your audacious and undignified bleeding from the stab wounds is somehow your fault and you have to clean it up. Fashion. Capitalism. Workplace politics. Neurotypicality. Re-creating that dynamic for fun makes me feel like Isaiah witnessing the earth laid waste.

To dial back the anger and be fair for a moment: the games do have discernable rules and are not all bad, but the exercise of power I'm describing, the stuff that comes vividly to mind, the stuff that is the absolutely atrocious normal way to get introduced to these games, is evil. It is a cruel and horrid exercise of power and should be destroyed completely. There is no justice or love or compassion in demanding that someone participate in a thing whose rules are unknown to them, refusing to explain the rules, and then punishing them for breaking the rules. It is sheer evil. Such behavior has no place in a just world, and should be uprooted completely.

the rules of The Game are simple: you can start playing at any time, and you win once you forget you're playing. I started playing quite some time ago, and I just now remembered that I had been playing, so that means I won The Game! highly recommend, much better than that other game people talk about sometimes

[chanduu07]

Best hotels in vizag

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[wilsn23]

Enticing Ways To renew malaysian passport online

Our visa is a strong Factor Because it Attracts One to a country For movement purposes. In the latest Global Index positioning, permitting us to see 119 nations with no visa.

Hence It's significant for us all to fathom the most recent identification recharging cycles and how to apply for your initial visa through the Immigration Department of Malaysia. In the accompanying article, I share with you my experience and tips in recharging my visa which took under 2 hours.

For what reason do I really want to reestablish My visa - It has become obvious that my identification has entered its own expiry stretch. Despite the fact that I have around 5 months to go on it, I needed to recharge the visa for my forthcoming and that I needed to try not to do it without a second to spare.

To illuminate You current realities, I'd accepted that doing so would be basic. However, I failed to observe that albeit a few workplaces are opened on ends of the week and after available time, then, at that point, there will in any case be an extensive line.

Yet, before I continue on about searching for the Nearest movement office, you ought to investigate restoring your visa on the off chance that you are in the accompanying situation:

Find the closest Immigration work environment - I express this with affection since there are several workplaces which open on ends of the week like Mini UTC Sentul and that are found in the downtown area. This would imply that you could have to encounter significant traffic to arrive and from the time you show up, there will likely be a long line, except if you come in early normally. Since I needed to settle this on a work day, I chose to search for one that is near my working environment.

A few Friends had shown the in Pusat Bandar Damansara however I read some place it has since been moved into the Immigration Office in Sri Hartamas. As it's even closer to my work environment, that appeared to be a more secure bet. I had chosen to visit the Immigration Office in Hartamas which officially opens at 8 am. I was at that point out of my home at 6:30 am and shown up there around 7:15 am. In the ground floor, I could as of now spot individuals lining for both the Immigration and the National Registration Office and it was long.

Fortunately I brought along a magazine and a book to kill time while remaining in the line (number 15 in line). At unequivocally 7:30 am the glass entryway opened and we strolled into a methodical method for getting our numbers. There are a lot of counters there for passage, assortment, information, and installment that compensates for less holding up period.

Bring The fundamental documentation - Before you take your sum at the line, then, at that point, you will need to bring these reports:

Your ongoing visa.

Affirmation

Installment: RM200 (13-59

Installment can be made in real money and charge card (neighborhood ) or postal Order (for those living abroad )

Photographs will be taken at the identification division stall

From that point onward, I expected to anticipate my number to be called for installment purposes by which a receipt will be given for visa set.

My IC was returned through this time (I Thought I had lost it sooner during accommodation). I was extremely shocked when the lady at the clerk corner expressed that I could accumulate my visa in one hours' time. This was at 7:58 am.

Wear reasonable dress - Since The photos will then, at that point, be taken at the Immigration counter itself, so we should observe the legitimate clothing that will make the photograph stick out against a white foundation.

Wear dim shaded dress

For those wearing hijabs, coming in dim shaded veils is ideal.

Wear garments that cover the chest and shoulder region (you can Forget about being hot on your visa photo ). Assuming you're wearing sleeveless, the Officer will demand you to wear a coat, that is accessible close by at the stall.

Visit here:- malaysia visa for indian

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning!

Welp, let’s see what kind of links I set aside this week. I feel like is pretty varied. Enjoy! ☕️

Vice

People in Utah who visit Pornhub will now be greeted by adult performer Cherie DeVille asking them to tell their representatives to change their age verification law.

I’ll bet VPN usage just went through the roof. Hopefully all VPN service providers offered a discount to sign up this week. If they didn’t use the discount code “Utah” they blew it. 😆

The Verge

By Monday, CNN anchor Jake Tapper would ask his guests to respond to a statement made by Sen. Brian Schatz, the first — but not only — US senator on Bluesky. “Senator Brian Schatz, just, uh, skeeted, on Bluesky,” said Tapper live on air before reading the skeet out loud. 

So I mused yesterday on Mastodon that I thought the word skeet didn’t make sense but bravo to the person or persons who made it stick.

Well, someone clued me in on what skeet means. Darned kids and their made up words. 😳

Paul Lefebvre

I had recalled reading in the past that the Mac Pro CPU might also be upgradeable, but I had never looked into it before.

This is a fun read! There was a time when I’d repair and upgrade my own PC’s and I really enjoyed it. Apple has never been great at doing this but at least created a few Macs that could be opened and repaired or extended with other hardware. Give Paul’s piece a read it’s a nice little adventure and he’s improved an old Mac with a new CPU.

Like I said above Apple is horrible about creating a nice computer you can open and repair but it’s rare. Then once they do manage to make one they don’t make a way for you to really upgrade it. It’s a real shame folks dropped large sums of money on the latest Mac Pro only to have M1 and M2 based machines outstrip it.

Also, can someone take a Trash Can Mac and fill it with M2 Mac Mini guts? It might pose some challenges but I’d love to see one. The Trash Can is a beautiful artifact at this point and it would be nice to see it revived.

The Hollywood Reporter

Top Hollywood writers took to social media to express defiant support for their first union walkout in 15 years and showed their feelings about studios being unwilling to meet their contract demands.

Enjoy your scripted shows while you can. I’ve heard some shows have already shut down production.

Good luck to the Writers Guild of America. I hope you’re able to negotiate favorable terms. 🤞🏼

Vice

Adobe is warning some owners of its Creative Cloud software applications that they’re no longer allowed to use older versions of the software.

When you purchase software you don’t really own it, you’ve purchased a license to use it. That license can be revoked at any time but I’ve never experienced it.

For someone like me a really old version of Photoshop — pre Creative Cloud — would probably work just fine in a VM but folks who run small shops and don’t want to upgrade for their own reasons shouldn’t be punished. Just my horrible two cents on the matter.

Semafor

Zephyr, the only trans member of the Montana legislature, was barred from the House floor and gallery last week after facing backlash from Republicans during the debate over a bill that prohibits gender-affirming medical care for transgender minors.

I really hope Zephyr is allowed back on the floor and is allowed to represent her constituents properly.

Good luck Zephyr! 🍀

Elizabeth Valentine Haste

Under normal circumstances, I would be forbidden from discussing this. In fact, I am bound by NDA not to disclose many of the specific details of my experience at Rune Labs, but thanks to Washington’s Silenced No More Act (RCW 49.44.211), my ability to speak about discrimination, harassment, or retaliation that I have witnessed in the workplace is legally protected.

I had the pleasure of working with Elizabeth — we called her Val — at WillowTree and she’s very good at her job and is a fine, fine, person. Hire her.

Val, if for some reason you stumble across this come back to WillowTree! 🙏🏼

Aarthi & Sriram’s Podcast

Anders Hejlsberg is special - he is someone we idolized since we were teenagers, heard whispers and stories about his prowess and feats in our formative years at Microsoft.

The man created four extremely popular programming languages; Turbo Pascal, Delphi, C#, and TypeScript. That’s a crazy wonderful resume!

To create a single language used my millions and millions of developer would be a once in a lifetime achievement but four time? Simply incredible.

Hey, if you have to work in JavaScript(sorry!) at least Microsoft was able to tame some of the ugliness of JavaScript and make it more productive.

Electrify America CEO Rob Barrosa’s Coast-to-Coast Road Trip

The above link will take you to YouTube for the video. It’s not that long and is a real joy to watch, at least for me it was. I will point out WillowTree works with Electrify America but I’d still think this was cool even without that relationship. It’s nice to see more and more electric charging stations crop up across America.

The route he chose to take was an interesting one. It takes home through Chicago on a more northerly path. Interstate 40 is a pretty straight shot across the country I’ve driven many times.

It makes me wonder if he took this route because I-40 doesn’t have enough Electrify America charging stations to get you across America?

One of these days we have to try the route he took. Perhaps spend some time in Chicago?

Amazon Prime Video Blog

The initial version of our service consisted of distributed components that were orchestrated by AWS Step Functions. The two most expensive operations in terms of cost were the orchestration workflow and when data passed between distributed components. To address this, we moved all components into a single process to keep the data transfer within the process memory, which also simplified the orchestration logic.

I love reading about teams improving performance of their software and this is a particularly interesting read because they also lower the cost of their service by 90%! That’s a crazy good improvement.

Now if they could stabilize the Amazon app on Roku that would be amazing. 😃

Jalopnik

The 2024 Trax is Chevrolet’s bid for the lower end of the new car market in the U.S. In fact, the Trax is now going to be the cheapest car Chevy sells in America, which brings the General hope that the new and improved version of its entry-level crossover can turn a first-time Chevy buyer into a lifelong customer.

Our daughter has a Trax and it’s a great little car I love to drive when I get the chance. It’s small and really zippy! It’s just fun to drive.

I hope this 3-cylinder model is a great success so Chevrolet keeps making it.

Hey, Chevy, while you’re at it how ‘bout you make the Trax into a World Rally Championship car? Seems like it would be a great fit!

Ars Technica

After using System76’s Pangolin as my primary work laptop for nearly six weeks, I can tell you this: If you need a 15-inch Linux-focused laptop, this is the one to get.

If I were to invest in a PC I believe I’d go for a System76 box. It seems they’d make for a great little programming box. Plenty of horsepower to handle C++ and C# dev tools and compiling.

Question: Why do all PC trackpads suck? I mean like really suck. Everyone I’ve ever used has been a real pain. The Mac, no doubt, has the best trackpad in the business.

News Thump

After Florida governor Ron DeSantis signed into law a ban on abortion after 6 weeks, Taliban officials in Afghanistan have welcomed the move and praised the regressive thinking behind it.

I really hope this is true because we are seeing states in our Union beginning to turn into themselves into women and LGBTQ+ hating theocracies.

Seems fit the Taliban would praise them and DeSantis is a real piece of work worthy of export to Afghanistan. Maybe we can exchange him for some wonderful women looking to get a great education?

I hope you enjoy your weekend.

[ashleywool]

This is ABSOLUTELY true and it is ABSOLUTELY ableist.

But I do also think people's "amazement" at our interactions could be a teaching moment because it's a testament to the unique relationship the seven of us in particular have with our fans compared to folks in other Broadway shows.

The thing is, autistic (and otherwise disabled) superfans have LONG been the unsung heroes of pretty much every single piece of media that's ever existed. Partly because when we love stuff we love it hard, but also because the nature of our marginalization often gives us more "free time" than our non-disabled peers.

Everyone knows that autistic people are passionate evangelizers of everything they love, and the Internet has blessed us with the ability to find community with other people who love the same things we love if we don't have access to those people in our non-Internet lives (or worse, if we are ostracized in our non-Internet lives for the things we love).

But disabled people with higher support needs (especially those who don't communicate verbally) are the most ostracized and marginalized of any of us. If they're on federal disability in the US, they can't work more than part-time (even at jobs they're fully capable of doing full-time) and even if they work more often, they can't be paid over a certain salary without losing their disability benefits. In How to Dance in Ohio, Mel tells Ashley, "Making sub-minimum wage for years because I'm disabled sucks." It's legal to pay disabled people less than minimum wage for doing the same job as their non-disabled colleagues.

To put that in perspective: if any of the autistic actors in our show were receiving SSDI, we wouldn't be allowed to earn the money we earn at our full-time jobs playing disabled characters. (This is another reason why I consistently push back against nonunion national tours--because without a union in place, that is exactly what would happen--legally--to disabled actors hired to play disabled characters. But that's another soapbox for another day.)

Of course we stop and talk to the fans. We appreciate every single one of them. That should hopefully go without saying.

But we stop and talk to the autistic fans because we are them. What they are to us, I was to Rent in 2002. And to Hanson in 1997.

And we talk to the higher-support-needs disabled fans because we know better than anyone that any of us are one accident or illness or bigoted piece of legislation away from being them. We give them our attention and respect because we know what it's like to be denied those things. We talk to them as equals because they are. Because none of us are free until all of us are free, even if their shackles look different from ours.

Acknowledging that doesn't make us "amazing." It shouldn't amaze people.

But it does amaze people because this is the first Broadway show where embracing and affirming the disability community in all its diversity is THE POINT OF THE WHOLE THING.

It's natural to be amazed and inspired when you encounter things you've never encountered before, and I've never been interested in demonizing people for being new to a conversation.

But take that amazement and do something with it. Ask yourself whose voices are going unheard in your workplace, your family, your friend circles. Ask yourself what biases are holding you back from hearing these voices, or actively seeking their contributions.

Ask yourself what you can do to normalize and desensationalize the things you find amazing.

PS/disclaimer: None of us owe anyone a relationship beyond artist/fan. We care deeply about our fans as human beings, and we care deeply about how our advocacy work affects them. But part of that care also means maintaining an awareness of the power dynamics that come with being any kind of public figure, and setting boundaries with fans accordingly. Equitably assuming positive intent goes hand in hand with equitably avoiding or disengaging from problematic fan behavior.

People really need to stop praising people for showing basic ass respect. The other day, I was having a conversation with an AAC user at the stage door and some audience members kept interrupting to try talking to me, but I told them to hold on, since I was talking to someone already.

After our conversation, some audience members were coming up to me like "wow, you're so amazing for stopping to speak to them" like why wouldn't I? I stop to speak to audience members, that's what I do. I shouldn't be praised for speaking to someone because they communicate in a different way to me.

Start treating other people with respect although they may be different than you. It's basic human decency. I wasn't "going out of my way" to talk to them. It was a regular ass conversation. It wasn't a bother to me. I wasn't in a rush.

Stop praising non-disabled people for interacting with disabled people. Also stop praising disabled people for interacting with disabled people that have higher support needs than them. It's the bare minimum.

Like seriously. It's ableist.

[piaduarte]

How I manifested all my desires into reality

I assume you've been in this community long enough to realize some posts contradict themselves, to the point where a thing as simple as manifestation has become something much more complicated;

"You have to repeat affirmations all the time, until you sound like a broken record!"

"No, no, you have to daydream all day, don't be afraid to be delusional!"

Everything is just so confusing. Maybe your feed is filled with this crazy success stories, like mine once was, and you sit there amazed while you read them and you ask yourself "Why can't I do that?", like I once did. Well, my dear reader, you are about to change your own life.

So, let's get started!

Ok, so it all started a couple of days ago. I was mindlessly scrolling through my feed, reading these posts I told you about. Just a normal day. I'd been into manifestation and spiritualism for a while, and I was incredibly addicted to Tumblr out of the sudden; these posts, these stories... They were just so interesting and so visually appealing I just couldn't bring myself to stop reading them.

Well, the thing is, I could spend entire days — and I did actually spend them — like that, just sitting in the couch and getting all kinds of impressed by all these stranger's abilities to make their dreams come true. But after a week or so I got kinda tired of all that. You know what I'm talking about:

"Why can't I do that? I'm so stupid, they said it should be easy" - old me

"Maybe I'm just losing my time with this" - yep, old me again

NO.

Did you hear me? I said no. Can you believe all these stupid thoughts almost made me give up in my journey for the second time? I can see it all so clearly now; my brain was rotting thanks to these stupid thoughts. And, my dear reader, what do we do about things that hurt us and keep us from becoming the person we want to be? Exactly; we get rid of them. So, after that, I knew I had a choice to make.

Should I keep making myself feel bad, or should I embrace my power and finally become the manifestation master I was born to be?

Enough with the negative self-talk. Enough with letting people manipulate me and treat me like I'm an inferior. Enough being the victim. I'm the master of my own life, and I'm a God. I manifest whatever I want into my life because I can and I'm able to do so. And once you realize that, there's no coming back.

So now I want you to get clear of what you want, and breathe. Is it a new job? Is it new friends, a new house, maybe even all at once? Fine, you got it. It's done. You can relax and you can forget about it, because it is already yours. I know you've probably seen this sentence like hundreds of times already, but after actually understanding it, you realize it's true.

Look outside your window, step into your balcony, go for a walk. All these things you see, you believe them to be real, right? So let me ask you a question; why would your desire not be as real as those houses, as those buildings? When you close your eyes, you can see it in your mind; your new workplace, your new friends, your new house. You can see all those things. They are real too.

Not so long ago, I learnt about the 3D and the 4D: as you probably already know, the 4D is everything you imagine, your desired reality, the insides of your unique and beautiful mind; the 3D is the "reality". But actually, it's the exact opposite: the 4D is your only reality, and the 3D is actually some kind of mirror that projects everything you want. The insides of your mind. You can see and feel all your desires because they are real, and no matter what, now that you've imagined them and you've decided you want all those things, the law is obligated to grant your desires to you and you only. There are no exceptions.

Your desires can and will come true.

[theharddeck]

Tonight’s Sunday scaries are sponsoring an emotional breakdown due to the concept of comfort from one Lt. Robert Bob Floyd let’s assume workplace stress or family trauma bc of who I am as a person

First things first, he trusts you. So when you come to him in a panic or in tears, he knows you don’t want him to solve the problem, and he knows you’ll ask for what you need from him

So he’s not doing the thing of “well have you tried—“ or “did you consider—“, no, he trusts that you don’t need that right now, and you can rationalize later, but right now, you want to be held

So that’s all he does

He tucks you into his side, chin on the top of your head, and just listens, holds you, quietly stroking your back as you hyperventilate, and he doesn’t try to pull you out of it

He wants you to know he’s there with you, in whatever is stressing you out, not that he’s trying to fix it

When you’re done, he wipes your eyes for you, watching carefully, checking you’re okay, but still doesn’t make any move to suggest what he thinks you should do.

He’s really good at giving you options for the immediate future, things you can decide and resolve, independent or whatever it was that set it off—do you want him to start on dinner? Give you some space for a minute? Go order pizza?—and you get the feeling he’s not pulling one way or another, he wants what you know is best for you now

When you thank him for it later, he always looks a little confused, bc he doesn’t think he did anything special

He genuinely loves being there for you

Plus, knowing that he’s the one you turn to when you need support? That he’s THE one that you want to talk something through? I think there’d be this moment of quiet pride for him, where he feels affirmed that he’s doing something right, to be the kind of man you depend on

Now, the other way around

When Bob’s had a bad day, you don’t know it from his temper or from slamming doors or anything. You know it because of the quiet

He’s normally quiet, aware of the space around him and moving through it carefully, but this kind of quiet is subdued, defeated

He comes home and he doesn’t ignore you, but he just wordlessly kisses your forehead hello, and when you hug him, he latches onto you.

When you look up at him, his brow is furrowed and his eyes are pressed shut, and you turn off whatever you’re working on, to guide the both of you over to the couch.

He doesn’t let go of you the entire shuffled walk over

Most people don’t know how heavily he carries the responsibility he feels for everyone on his unit. There’s camaraderie all around, of course, and team work, but Bob knows his role is a little different. Less about mechanics and more about strategy and though Phoenix and Rooster try to tell him it’s up to all of them in the air, he can always think of something he could’ve done differently

Usually it’s a drill, a exercise where a simulation reminds him of the thing they’re training for, and he gets overwhelmed but hides it until he’s home to you

You maneuver both of you down to sitting, and you’re probably on his lap but that way you can guide his head onto your shoulder and you feel his spine just soften as he melts into you, relieved and reminded that everyone is safe, at least for now, and he’s with you, which is what matters.