#i came up with these at 4 am
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Your Throne headcanons
Main Cast:
In the beginning without Psyche’s healing, Medea (in Psyche’s body) had to put up with muscle aches in places she forgot she could feel fatigue. She ignores the aches through sheer power of will (as she does) but resolves to do a few light exercises every day to build up her stamina and strength—even before asking Eros for swordfighting lessons—in case she had to live as Psyche forever.
Psyche comments about this after switching back to her body, thanking Medea now that it feels like “her lungs can actually expand and breathe more easily.”
Horseback riding was one of the other skills that Psyche requested to learn after switching back to her own body. It’s how she knew how to ride a horse after stealing Helio's when the wall collapsed.
Psyche is so “short and demure” because her growth was stunted from being locked in a box as a child whenever she was punished for misbehaving. Otherwise, her actual height might have been closer to 165 cm (5’5).
Does the Your Throne world have coffee? Anyway Medea is a (black) coffee addict and Psyche is a tea bitch.
Psyche thinks black coffee tastes like Eros—bitter. Medea demands Psyche to never compare her lifeblood to trash ever again.
Eros has a natural “masculine” scent that most girls would swoon for but Medea finds revolting. Since learning about his true colors, being too close to him actually gives Psyche minor headaches because of how pungent his body odor is.
Helio smells like depression.
Pain tolerance from greatest to least: Medea -> Helio -> Eros -> Perion -> Psyche. This is mostly because Psyche’s body is the least resilient to stress, since she’s the least physically fit. And also because the first two are too used to killing their feelings.
However, all of these idiots are highly likely to cut off their own limb if the situation calls for it. Medea and Helio if their cold logic deems it necessary (Helio especially for Medea). Eros has the same cold logic. You can’t tell me Psyche “I’ll stop Helio from stabbing himself with my own hand” and “Dying is scary but I’ll stop my own heart to prevent Eros from killing Medea” Callista wouldn’t treat her own body with little regard. And Perion canonically stabbed his own eye.
Average hours of sleep per night: Medea = 4 (she takes short naps during the day), Helio = 6, Eros = 7, Perion = 7, Psyche = 10 pre-body switch, 8 after returning to her own body.
Medea doesn’t get sick often, and when she does it’s usually something mild that goes away within a few days. But one time when she’s finally allowed to relax and breathe for a minute without Eros, her family, or even the public breathing down her neck, her immune system completely tanks and she gets the worst cold of her life. It’s so bad that she has a fever dream where she wakes up as a reincarnated villainess betrothed to Eros, is being courted by Helio, Perion, and Psyche, and even has relatively loving parents, but all she wants to do is cultivate her farming skills in the inevitable outcome that Eros dumps her for Psyche and banishes her from the kingdom.
No, Medea has never heard of My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! or whatever a Bakarina is that’s why it’s a fever dream.
Psyche (in Medea’s body) kissed Helio on the balcony in the only way she knew how: based on how Eros used to make out with her. It was not a pleasant realization for either Psyche or Helio.
Even with her lack of diverse experience, Psyche is a better kisser than Eros. She learns fast.
When Psyche reveals what happened on the balcony to Medea, Medea just scoffs and offhandedly comments that Helio likes it rough. Psyche chooses not to ruminate about that for too long.
On a similar note, whether or not Medea has actually explicitly mentioned the ch. 122 discourse yes I’m bringing that up, Psyche had a hunch that that would’ve happened while Medea was in her body; considering Psyche and Eros probably did it together after they became engaged. It’s part of the reason why she was so devastated during the body switch, before the women reconciled. But after learning how Eros never loved her, Psyche just feels awful that Medea had to act through such a vulnerable situation.
Supporting Cast:
Dekis, like Nana (bless her soul), is happy that Medea at least has a friend who isn’t trapped in a sense of tragic worship like Helio is. He hopes his sister can continue to build healthier relationships, with new and existing acquaintances.
Thanks to living on his own and developing some life skills, one of them being cooking, Dekis will help out in the kitchen sometimes. The servants were initially against their master doing menial labor, but their worries quickly dissolved. They even share some secrets about Medea’s preferences, to Medea’s amusement.
Along with the books gifted to him, Lira took the rabbit Psyche saved back to his family. They now take care of it as their own pet.
Lynn still reports back to Medea even after Psyche and Medea reconcile. Except instead of plotting to ruin Psyche’s life, now Medea is content with mundane updates like whether Psyche is feeling well or what food she ate or—cringe—how Psyche handled another one of Eros’ visits. Lynn is 100% ??? about the sudden change of heart but doesn’t have the guts to ask her very-scary original employer.
#your throne#tomato rambles#medea solon#psyche callista#helio niccolo#perion sov vasilios#eros orna vasilios#i came up with these at 4 am#woops#long post#kind of#there's so many because i have FEELINGS
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cursed kids v2 ⚠️👹
i've been a jjk first years stan since day one and have been wanting to redraw the first art i did featuring the three of them
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara#yuuji#megumi#nobara#fanart#jjk fanart#im so tired help but theyre DONE im sososoosos pleased with them#even yuuji who dug his heels in to th very end :'>>>#wow 2020 rly was 4 years ago huh#to my credit i still think the designs i came up with in th og r honestly really good???#obv i didn't do a fullbody redraw (n thank god fr that) so i couldn't include All my details and there were some things that i edited#but overall they r solid !!!! i rly regret tht i couldn't include nobara's fishnets dgfhs#gave her her bat instead . equivalent exchange :)#she has one in the original but i specifically remember being bummed that the pose didnt let me show the nails that were in it#so took Full advantage of the new pose here !! she has killed before and will kill again#other changes....yuuji's omamori earring n sword details r New! as is the decision to include his canon scars :> fits the vibe#megumi changed the least?? changed the tassels n colour of his shoulder kanji to match yuuji and gave him a cigarette to fill empty space#other than that i think th majority of his changes r just me getting better at drawing megu#god the edited poses make these designs sing im so happy i did this#these r my kids !!!!! they have grown with me!!!!!#i am very proud and also sleep deprived and i need to not look at these anymore
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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Naomi's a proudly ambitionless burnout who's spent most of her 20s slumming it in Moonwood Mill (and having a hell of a time). Micah's a melancholic introvert with an English degree who's been claiming she's writing her first novel for years. Although third-generation spellcasters, they've never wanted a life of waving wands and brewing potions. Now that they've landed in Ravenwood, will they realize they've been destined to wield their magic in other ways?
*Naomi and Micah will be occupying this amazing build by @theseptembersim! More on how they ended up there soon.
If you're one of the few who's been following me long enough, you might recognize these girls from my legacy family, last seen in Growing Up Uchiyama. Their younger brother, August, is the generation's official heir and we'll be seeing more of his story... eventually. But with five kids in the family, I feel like I never got to know them as well as I wanted, so I thought it'd be fun to use them to explore the new pack! I recently discovered my legacy save got accidentally deleted or overwritten, and rather than be sad about it I've decided to embrace the opportunity for a fresh start. (That save was several years old, after all.)
Anyway, this will be mostly gameplay (I hope) but with elements of story. It's not meant to be an AU or anything, but whatever happens takes place several years after August's currently nonexistent story. Are you confused yet? Good! So are they. They aren't entirely sure why they were sent here or what lies in store or even how long their watcher will stay interested in their adventures. In other words, I have no idea where this is going, but I'd love you to come along for the ride!
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 story#ts4 gameplay#naomi uchiyama#micah uchiyama#legacy: g9#story: mourningvale#i am feeling very intense about this right now#but don't hold me to anything#i came up with this concept two days ago and am FULLY WINGING IT#but right now i'm excited!!! 🤸🏻♀️#the visual mood is going to be inconsistent at first because i'm trying out different presets lol
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summer '93
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#AUverse#kelly#dhestyn#something came over me when i made these man#i don't know#AUverse is the new tag for all of my miniAUs btw. so it encompasses multiple AUs#this one is what i'm currently calling the 90sAU (ideally it will have a real name eventually. it just. doesn't yet)#uh i have a confession which is that i haven't actually written anything for this particular AU yet#like. not even bullet points or anything#but i am completely obsessed with it#something about the boys traveling around in their lil van is just so fun to me#i love the idea of kel just being some punk ass kid who ran away from home#& dhes sees him on the side of the road one day & is like. oh. yea. that one's cute. sure. i'll pick him up.#& they literally just travel the states together#like originally dhes was only gonna drive him to this one concert in a nearby city but#since they had a few days to spare dhes convinced kel to let him take him on a small detour & go sight seeing#& they ended up having a lot of fun!!!#i haven't decided for sure yet but i think they're like... 19 or 20 in this AU#i'll figure out the details once i actually start writing it though
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feelin kinda sad so eating an obscene amount of pasta
#YukiPri rambles#it's nothing serious#just have had a stream of unfortunate disappointments#nothing major and each time i'm like well ok that could have been worse and i'm glad it wasn't#but the cumulative result is just me kinda feeling droopy inside despite trying to continue lookin chipper outside#'wilted' i think is best descriptor for me rn#trying to tell myself that retail therapy isn't the answer here#In case folks are curious#the disappointments are:#1) dad was in a car accident and no one was hurt but gave me a huge scare#2) was given a day off at work in exchange for working a weekend and was looking forward to both#but they asked me last minute nevermind come in instead and i had to cancel all the plans i'd made and couldn't reschedule#3) movie i wanted to see on said day off is no longer playing in local theaters so it's either convince mum to drive an hour or give up#4) had an afternoon tea planned with mum and her friends and was looking forward to it for a month and only eating out this month#had reservations and outfit picked out and everything#but then a few days before landlord scheduled repairs for that day and wouldn't listen when we said we had plans#so i stayed home so mum could go and i'm glad she could go but sad#5) went to work this morning and there'd been a flood in the office from a customer leaving the bathroom sink running#and the torrent of water came down on my desk specifically ruining all of my books/personal stuff#i got reimbursed but it's just really sad bc some of those things were free/gifts that i can't get back and i hate throwing out books#especially ones i never got to read but they were completely drenched through and unsalvageable...#6) had an outing planned this weekend i was really looking forward to but we probably can't go bc weather is bad#i think there were a few others but that's most of the big ones#i am wilted and just want to curl up and not move
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Previous // Next
Sidney: What were you thinking? Robin: It wasn’t my fault. Sidney: Debateable. You shouldn’t take them with you if you’re not going to keep an eye on them. Robin: I don’t have a million eyes! Oscar: Ma. Sidney: Well. Oscar: You’re looking at this all wrong, anyway-.. Byrd, what’re we not gonna do in future? Byrd: Uhhhhh-.. handstands on wobbly fences? Courtney: Robin? Robin: Let Byrd climb on shitty fences. Oscar: See? Sidney: [mutters] Give me strength. Wren: What do you need strength for? Sidney: Your father’s unquenchable thirst for chaos. Oscar: You need to relax every now n’ then, you might actually enjoy yourself for once. Sidney: Bah, you sound like Ally. Alton: Hm-.. what? Sidney: Nothing-.. where’s the salad? Oscar: What’s done is done-.. let’s just agree to steer clear of the hospital for a while, okay guys? I’m sick of the place. Robin: Maybe we could get a member’s card. Ava: I want to go! Oscar: Noooo, you don’t. Ava: How do you know what I want?! Sidney: Ask Robin to watch you for a day, you’ll be there in no time. Oscar: Ignore your grandma-.. she’s just an expert at putting the salt in Salton. Alton: I still don’t understand that joke…
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#oscar finch#courtney finch#robin finch#wren finch#byrd finch#ava finch#sidney finch#alton finch#she's salty because she cares#😆#this wasn't even gonna be a scene but the brain rot took over when salton came for dinner so here we are#lmao#safe to say that sid doesn't agree with oskie's parenting style but he doesn't wanna be a helicopter parent u kno#kids have gotta fuck up to learn n whatnot#i think he semi wants to be pissed off but a) he's not gonna do that in front of sid n give her the satisfaction lol#and b) he's prettyyyy sure lessons were learnt here so maybe they'll just let it slide#THIS time neway#i think they're being a lil soft truth be told but alas.. he wants to do the opposite of what he had so....#we'll see how it goes ig#😅#ok am shutting up now
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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armand iwtv save me,,,, save me armand iwtv
#interview with the vampire#armand iwtv#oof my art i guess#GRGRGRGRGGRGR BARK BARK#I mean ahaha I’m soooo normal#dunno where the fuck this one came from sorry gamers#saw a twitter post abt him in this fit and blacked out for 5 hours#but here he is!#my favorite fucked up lil freak!!#do not ask me to paint like this ever again idk how the fuck I did that#I’m going to sleep now it’s suddenly 4 am goodnight!
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Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a traditional drawing of the Thorn from slay the princess.
“At the heart of it all lies the princess, hands trembling, clutching a pristine blade.”
“…Did you know this would happen?”
#slay the princess#stp#stp princess#stp thorn#the shifting mound#the long quiet#traditional art#markers#I came up with this idea when I couldn’t fall asleep at 4 am#I’m really proud of this piece#but I still might make a digitized version idk#we’ll see#tw blood
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The second half of the Nevermoor graphic novel is set to be released in France on August 29th!
#no link i'm sorry bc it's not up on the publisher's site yet but it's in upcoming catalogues and etc#will add one later. I think w/ pt1 we found out about it like right before it came out lol#nevermoor#nevermoor graphic novel#what I am wondering if the future ones will retitle to their respective books Or if wundersmith will be parts 3+4 hollowpox 5+6 etc etc etc#my guess is honestly the second one but idk we will see. the last page of this second part should tell us
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hahahahahaha remember when everyone was like “episode 5 is going to be the byler episode!!” and now they’re casting a young will, mike, and jonathan for episode 4….. hahahahahaha we’re all being normal about this right???? RIGHT?????
and not it being titled “the sorcerer” omfg i’m going to pass out die throw up scream cry die again
#once again idk how ppl came across this info#bc if i remember correctly i think there was a leak about title episodes and ep 4 was not called the sorcerer#but this is the only current content we’re getting it so if it’s fake real somewhere in between let’s just have fun#because i am eating up the idea of mike getting vecna’d and we get a flashback of him and will 🙏#mike getting vecna’d ep 4#byler love confession episode 5 i am seeing THE VISION#byler#stranger things#stranger things season 5#stranger things s5#stranger things 5#st5#st5 production
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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My Oberon Summon Experience, where I kicked him off the Border and he immediately came back in the first 10-pull, the first card
I know this is late (his banner ended like 2 days ago) but this was unbelievable(y funny to my 3 am sleep-deprived brain) so I drew it… and colored it…
Slight spoilers for the end of LB6 and his summon lines, but that can’t be helped :)
I like to think mash and habetrot just looked on like this
#fate go#oberon vortigern#oberon#fate grand order#digital art#my art#lb6 spoilers#ritsuka fujimaru#gacha summons#my luck and sq gone#f2p btw#I saved until pity and the BASTARD.#I can’t really be mad at least he came home#unlike a certain space probe child#still smad about voyager >:/#I gave up shading and coloring half way#it’s like 4 am#habetrot#mash kyrielight
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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the kids are goin to edgewave @aniraklova ✭
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#edgewavefest#edgewavefest2024#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#AUverse#gaston#sue#dhestyn#kelly#bow#ty for the cool event kari !#couldn't participate last year bc of school but this year... i am a free man#get ready for the shittiest pop punk you've ever heard in your life#set list included bc. idk. why not.#also finally gave the kids' band an actual logo#yk i go back & forth on their band name bc on one hand it's kinda bad right#but. on the other hand they were 14 when they came up with it so like. it being kinda bad makes sense#n e way. kelly with long hair. heart eyes.
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