#i came back to this blog and decided that i’m not going to be nice anymore

[oldsoul007]

Shadows of the Sacred

father charlie mayhewxdetective reader

Summary: what begins as a case for y/n takes a turn to something far more difficult for y/n to resist

disclaimer: I’m not catholic and no disrespect to the religion at all just been wanting to write about him and the show. This is just a work of fiction. (Loosely follows the plot) I jus write for fun so I’m not giving it my all, be nice ;) and enjoy

Warnings: making out, blasphemy?, forbidden love, sexual themes, not proofread

masterlist

There's an undeniable allure to a man who is off-limits.

The office was noisy with the recent murders going on. Some psychopath was killing people and putting them into religious meaning. We have no clue who could be doing something like this. Lois was currently talking to some nun that came in here. She has a very weird vibe from her considering she’s a nun. I think Lois thinks so too considering how she’s looking at her.

I feel like I’m going insane lately. Considering I haven’t been able to sleep after seeing those things. Even in my dreams I can’t escape them. You think no matter how many years you’ve been working like this you’d be used to these things by now. I sat at my desk, the hum of the precinct filling the air as i sifted through a mountain of paperwork. The phone rang incessantly, and the chatter of my colleagues created a constant background noise.

Just as I was about to take a sip of my now lukewarm coffee, my boss, Lois, burst into the room. "Y/n, I need you on this one," Lois said, urgency in her voice. “Im gonna need you to follow that nun and the priest she was talking about to see what you can get off her” she says pointing at the nun walking out of the building. “What, you thinking she has something to do with the murders?” “No, at least not alone but I just there’s something about her.”

So here I was walking into a chapel for Sunday mass. Sunlight seeping in through the stain glass. Church bells ringing in my ears. The smell of old wood. Somewhere I haven’t been since I was 16 years old. I sit in the back behind an elderly couple hoping to go unnoticed. I noticed the priest sitting in his chair tapping his hand along to the choir. He’s wearing these dark red boots along with his priest attire seeming very serious. He looked very young for a priest, and was very attractive.

The choir stops and a light beams down on him. He stood up and started speaking to the congregation. I watched as Nun Megan looked up at him amazed. I zoned out until it was over. I watch as everyone flows out of the chapel stopping to speak to the priest first of course. I stand up to leave when I see the nun running around the corner. I seem to zone out on her suspicious whereabouts when I hear someone clear their throat behind me. “Shit you scared me” I turn around and meet face to face with the priest. “Oh forgive me father I-“

“It’s quite alright we all have our vices” he smiles. “I noticed you while I was speaking, I’ve never seen you before what made you want to come to our church? The blog?” He asks eagerly. “Um…I don’t know what blog you’re talking about? But no, I’m catholic I’ve just been inactive for a while and thought I should reconnect with the church.” “Oh well welcome back, we’re glad to have you.” “Me too…I’m y/n” I say reaching out my hand. He puts my hand in between both of his hands holding it. “Father Charlie Mayhew.” He smiles.

I notice movement to the right of me seeing sister Megan watching us. I drop my hand from his and act like I don’t notice her. “Well I better get going I enjoyed your sermon” I say backing away from him after noticing how close I was standing to him. He looked over noticing sister Megan too. I decided to leave so I wouldn’t draw too much attention. “Nice boots” I say as I proceed to walk out of the chapel.

I feel someone run up next to me, looking over to see sister Megan. “So what made you decide to come to our church?” She asked curiously. “That seems to be the question of the day” I say blankly. “Well it’s just we don’t get many new people joining the church lately” she says trying to keep up with me. “I just decided to come back after a while” I say grabbing my door nob to my car. “Bye now” I pull out a cigarette and start to drive back to the station.

I’ve been to many masses but nothing seems out of the norm so I decided I should talk to the preist more. He’s so intriguing. It always felt like he was staring at me but I think it’s just me being paranoid. After the service I lingered a bit waiting for everyone to leave so it was just me and him, with me sitting and him up at the altar putting out the candles. Me seeming to go unnoticed by him I carefully stand up and walk over to him.

“Father Charlie?” He turns around noticing it’s me he softly smiles. “It’s nice seeing you again y/n” "well, I really enjoyed your sermon today," i began. "It gave me a lot to think about." "Thank you, y/n," he replied, genuinely pleased. "I'm glad it resonated with you."

I took a breath, feeling a bit nervous but determined. "I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me sometime. There's a diner nearby that I've heard great things about. It would be nice to get to know you better outside of the chapel."

Father Charlie's face lit up with a smile. "That sounds wonderful, y/n. I'd love to join you for lunch. How about tomorrow?" "Perfect," she said, relieved and happy. "I'll see you then."

The door jingled as it opened and I spot Father Charlie settled into the booth at the rundown diner, the aroma of fresh coffee and sizzling bacon wafting through the air.

"Good afternoon, y/n," he greeted warmly as I approached the table. "I hope you don't mind, I went ahead and ordered some coffee."

"Oh Not at all, Father Charlie," i replied with a smile, sliding into the seat across from him. "Coffee sounds perfect."

He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me better, almost drawn to me. "So, y/n," he began, his eyes twinkling with curiosity, "tell me more about yourself. What do you do for a living?"

I hesitated for a moment, choosing my words carefully. "I work in public service," I said, which was true enough. "It's a challenging job, but I find it very rewarding."

Father Charlie nodded, listening to me. "That sounds like a noble profession. It's always heartening to meet people who are dedicated to helping others.” “You know the more I talk to you the more I feel like I’ve met you before” I muttered. “Well I get that a lot” he chuckled. “Wait no, you went to pine valley high, it’s funny you said you always wanted to be a doctor” “and you said you always wanted to be a detective” I shuttered as he says almost suspiciously. “I mean look where we ended up” I laugh trying to change the subject.

“I always admired you in high school” he says eating a fry. “Really? I mean I always tried to go unnoticed” “I have no idea what you’re talking about you seemed so confident” “I mean that’s what I showed everyone” “I understand.” He said seeming to sense my uneasiness.

“I was wondering if you knew anything about the murders happening around town.” Father Charlie eagerly changing the subject. "…it’s been so unsettling lately," I said, trying to seem confused. "These strange murders have everyone on edge. It's hard to believe something like this could happen in our small town."

Father Charlie nodded, his expression serious. "I know. The community is shaken. People are scared, and it's understandable. The randomness of the attacks makes it even more terrifying."

I took a sip of my coffee, my mind racing with thoughts of the recent events. "this... it's different. There's no clear pattern, no obvious motive. It's like the killer is playing a twisted game."

I leaned in slightly, lowering my voice. "Do you think there's anything we can do to help find the killer? Maybe there's something we've overlooked."

He pondered my question, unaware of my true role in the investigation. "We can pray for guidance and protection, and we can keep our eyes and ears open. Sometimes the smallest details can make the biggest difference."

I felt a pang of guilt for not being able to confide in him fully, but i knew my cover was crucial to solving the case. "You're right, Father.“

Father Charlie placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You should read the blog, Sister Megan has an interesting way of talking about the whole case" Father Charlie leaned forward, his eyes filled with passion. “You seem to know a lot about these events.” “What can I say I like true crime.” I joke.

As our lunch arrived, we delved into deeper topics, sharing stories and perspectives. An unspoken connection seemed to grow between each other. We found themselves sharing more than just professional interests; we talked about our hopes, our fears, and our dreams. The more we shared, the more we realized how much they had in common.

“Well I have to go now but I’d love to talk to you more. So I was wondering if you’d come by the monastery later tonight?” Father Charlie asked. “Uh is that allowed Father?” “I say so, I’ll see you later then” he said as he left money for food and walked out the diner.

I arrived at the chapel later that day as the sun began to set. I walk in and it’s completely silent. I walk around the corner to find steps trying to find Father Charlie.

“In here y/n” I heard him shout. "You know I really admire the work you do here, Father Charlie," i said. "It's inspiring to see someone so dedicated to their faith and their community." "Thank you, y/n. Your dedication to public service is equally admirable. It's rare to meet someone with such a strong sense of duty and compassion."

As I reach what I’m assuming is his room. The door in opened ajar so I gently knock trying not to push the door. “Come in.” I head him say. I push open the door to see him leaning against the wall in only a towel. “Oh sorry is this a bad time I can come back later” I try not to look down. “no, please stay. Would you mind closing the door?” He bops his head. I push the door closed with my back against it trying to resist getting close for him. His hair was wet which made him even more attractive, he was so toned and large.

“So um why’d you want me to meet you, here?” “Maybe I just like seeing your angelic face” he smiles, creeping toward me. "Y/n," he began, his voice tinged with regret, "I feel a connection between us, and I know that you feel it too, But I also know that there are boundaries we must respect. My commitment to the church and to my faith is something I hold dear." I nodded, "I understand, Father Charlie. I feel the same way. It's just... difficult to ignore what we feel."

We stood in silence for a moment, the weight of our unspoken emotions hanging in the air. Finally, Father Charlie spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. "Perhaps, I’ve been wanting a change in the church for a while, I mean it’s a new world”

“Father Charlie I- “Charlie please” he cut me off. I nodded. “Would you mind drying my back” he says reaching out a towel to me. I walk slowly toward him, taking the towel. He kneels on this wooden step stool thing and I proceed to walk over so I’ll be behind him. I hesitate and notice his back full of scratches and stitches. “Fa-Charlie?” I say as I gently start swiping the towel on his back. “Yes y/n” “what happen to your back?” I feel his shudder as I ran my finger gently over one scar.

He slowly stands up so we’re face to face with him towering over me. “We all have our vices” he says in a whisper, grabbing my chin with his hand gently. His eye piercing through mine. I could almost hear my heartbeat against his. “I should go” he grips my arm as I try and walk toward the door. I grab his bicep gently like he’s gripping my arm. “This isn’t right Charlie” “I know but if it’s wrong why does it feel so good” he mutters as he backs me up against the wall. His lips lingering over mine, his bare chest against mine, his breath against mine. He runs his lips done my neck leaving open mouths kisses along my collar bone.

I grab his face to look back up at me. “Fuck it” he says under his breath. He grabs my face kissing me harshly. I could tell he hasn’t kiss someone in a long time. I could feel his tongue against mine and running over my teeth. “oh y/n, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this to you.” He said in between kissing me. I let out a soft moan against his mouth, and that sound seemed to do it. He grabs me and lays me down on the bed.

He starts kissing me going lower down my body. Hot open mouth kisses. He pushes my skirt up kissing my upper thighs slowly. Sending shivers down my spine. I brush my fingers through his hair throwing my head back at the feeling.

And then I came back to reality. I push his shoulders to keep distance from him. “Wait, stop we can’t.” I say pushing my skirt back down. “Why?” He says brushing my calf. “Why? Charlie you have no idea how badly I want to but you’re…you’re a priest you took a vow. It’s a sin” “you’re not a sin”

…..

a/n: part || coming soon…

[espr3ss0mart1ni]

don't kill me mr. ghostface! - t. kuroo

kuroo tetsuro x afab! reader: DEGRADATION, name calling, teasing, choking, and mask kink, timeskip!kuroo ofc, 2.9k words (guys i’m new to this so please let me know if i’m missing anything) WEEK ONE KINKTOBER!!

summary: seeing the ghost face trend suddenly pop up has you buying the mask so your boyfriend can wear it (aka ghost face kuroo was what i desperately needed)

!!MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! DO NOT INTERACT!!

Scrolling through social media, seeing girls make their boyfriends put on the ghost face mask during sex. At first you saw it as odd, it wasn’t till you started imagining your boyfriend, Kuroo wearing the mask. Imagining how scrumptious his form would look on with the mask. You couldn’t help but think if Kuroo would even be open to the idea? You weren’t really one to initiate any new sexual endeavors in the bedroom. Kuroo would take all the initiative in the bedroom with your feedback, of course. However, maybe this was just the thing you needed to be more confident in taking initiative. Even if Kuroo didn’t think the idea was hot, you knew he wouldn’t be completely rude in rejecting you. Thinking he’ll just say a quick no and drop the idea. Realizing you had nothing to lose you decide to just go for it. The worst he could say was no and if he did you’ll just keep the receipt for later.

Heading to your nearest Halloween store to look for the specific mask, lighting up when you find it tucked away. Going up to the cash register trying to hide the mask for confidentiality. “Oh, you’re the third girl today who came in here purchasing this mask?”, your palms start sweating as the older lady questions you. “What is it about this mask, it’s a pretty old movie? I guess it’s still pretty popular, huh?”, nodding to her question just trying to get the hell out of the store. “Well, here you go, have a nice night!”, snatching the bag as your face is completely flushed. If everything goes well, you’ll have more than just a nice night. As you get home, you notice Kuroo’s car parked outside. Hiding the bag behind your back as you make your way to the front door, sighing deeply as you unlock the door.

Opening the door to find Kuroo coming down the stairs, elated to see you. “Hey kitten, welcome home! I was wondering where you were? I didn’t have my baby here to give me my welcome kiss.” Kuroo pouts, opening his arms to you. He notices how closed off you are as you make your way to him, giving him a quick peck. “Sorry Tetsu, I went to the store to…pick up something really quick.”, Kuroo raises his brow at you. Aware of his heavy gaze, you start backing up into the stair railing still hiding the bag. Kuroo laughs at your sudden strange behavior, taking a seat on the couch, “Ok whatever you say, sweetheart. What do you want to do for dinner?”. Kuroo looks back at you, seeing you physically in the room but mentally somewhere else. “Kitten? Are you okay?”, Back turned to Kuroo as you feel the cloth of the mask, doubting whether you should ask him now. “Baby?”, Kuroo speaks louder than last time, finally catching your attention. As you turn around he takes in your embarrassed expression, shaky hands, bitten lips, and avoiding eye contact.

Kuroo knew you had a habit of biting your lips when you were scared to ask for something, he suddenly pats the couch. “Come here baby, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”, hesitantly making your way to Kuroo. You knew he would never judge you but what you’re asking for isn’t really normal. Deciding to throw all your insecure thoughts away, you straddle Kuroo’s lap. Taken by surprise you see him grin, feeling him start to place featherlight kisses on your neck, “What’s up kitten, you can tell me.” All of your thoughts slipped from your mind as you focused on Kuroo’s kisses and how ticklish they felt. “Well Tetsu, I actually wanted to ask you something.”, you feel yourself squirm against him as he nips your neck. He laughs against you, continuing to suck on your neck, “I saw this thing on Tiktok and these girls would,”, you pause, tripping over your words. Biting your lip, feeling an insatiable urge that only Kuroo could fill. “What would these girls do baby, huh? Use your words for me, kitten.” Kuroo lifts his gaze off your neck onto meeting your eyes.

“They would ask their boyfriends to put on a mask and then chase them around.”, you cut yourself off. Hesitant to finish the sentence vulgarly but deciding to push yourself. Kuroo grabs your chin with his hand forcing you to look into his eyes while lifting his eyebrows, “You want me to chase you kitten? Well what’s my prize when I catch you, huh?”. Resisting the urge to look away, you give him what he wants, “When you catch me...”. Leaning down to whisper in his ear, “I want you to fuck me with the mask on Tetsu.”. Kuroo lets out a breathy groan, “Who would’ve guessed my sweet girl had such a fucking filthy mouth.”. He pauses taking your lustful appearance in. “Well-” he pulls you in by your chin, centimeters away from your lips. “What my baby wants, she gets. Give me the mask, kitten.”

As you hand Kuroo the mask you bought earlier he snickers to himself, “Ghost face does it for you baby?”. He grabs you by your waist, pulling you in as your tongues meet in a harmonious symphony, he pulls away breathlessly. “Turn off the lights upstairs and hide for me, baby. You know I love a good challenge.” He turned off the lights downstairs and you felt a sneaking feeling behind you but not daring to look back, it wasn’t till you turned off the upstairs light that you suddenly felt your stomach drop. Shit, you couldn’t see anything, only hearing Kuroo’s footsteps coming up the stairs slowly, quietly. You’ve never heard Kuroo be so quiet before, it was making you shake with excitement that he’s playing the part so well. Hiding in your shared closet making sure to close the door very quietly, hearing footsteps creeping across the hall. Placing your hand across your face to stop from suddenly laughing, realizing how silly this all was. Your loving boyfriend, who couldn’t hurt a fly, was playing psycho killer because you asked him to.

Kuroo creeps into your room, truth be told he could hear you in the closet giggling but wanted to up the antics. He slams the door to your bedroom knowing you would jump in anticipation, taking a couple of seconds to open the closet door. “Naughty girl, I said I wanted a challenge.”, opening your mouth to refute his opinion. Kuroo grabs you roughly, picking you up from the floor, turning you around to push you onto the bed. Slowly taking off his shirt, keeping the mask on to give you a show. You keep eye contact with him as he starts undressing, you start following his lead but Kuroo stops you. Leaning down really close to your ear, “I never said you could start stripping, did I kitten?”. You freeze, suddenly feeling very frustrated by how much clothes you have on. “Don’t make me punish you because your urges are making you stupid baby. We wouldn’t want that now, would we kitten?” You reach out wanting to feel him, kiss him, do something, anything but Kuroo once again stops you, binding your hands with one of his.

“I guess my baby needs to learn some manners, first denying me of a challenge and now not listening. Already acting dumb and I haven’t even fucked you yet.” Kuroo grabs his shirt, tying your hands together. “Now if you don’t mind baby,” he lifts off the mask showing his flushed face and messy hair, “I’m here to claim my prize.”. He starts leaning into your neck, kissing the now lingering red marks. He hears your breathing pick up as he starts searching for that spot on your neck that you love, oh so much. Kuroo hears his name fall from your lips sensually, sucking on the spot harder. “Tetsu, please baby. I’ll be good, I’ll do anything for it.”, you look down at him with the sweetest eyes you could muster. Kuroo lifts up your shirt only to be met with your perked up nipples. Groaning, feeling himself get harder at the sight of you tied up and begging for him, what a good girl. He latches his mouth onto your nipple, hearing your breathing shutter. “Stop teasing Tetsu.”, Kuroo stops pulling away, taking in the sight of you. “You never listen, do you baby?”

Kuroo starts littering kisses down from your neck all the way down to your stomach, stopping at the spot where you need him the most. Slipping off your bottoms but leaving your panties on. “You’re such a naughty kitten, squirming, aching, and begging for me to do anything. Well, the more you beg, the less I want to give it to you.”, he places a soft kiss to your clothed cunt before getting back up on his knees, flipping your body over onto your stomach. “Since you like to use your mouth so much, you won’t mind counting for me baby.”, he places your stomach on his knee. Curiously looking back, just to feel a hard smack on your ass, moaning. Kuroo looks at you, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks together, condescendingly. “Cat got your tongue baby? I said to fucking count.”, he continues smacking until he sees his handprint imprinted on your ass. Chuckling lowly as he sees you look back, pupils blown out and mind a muck. He yanks you up to gently kiss your red cheek, giving it one more smack. Turning you around, as he pulls you into a heated kiss, lips clashing together while your tongues battle in your mouth for dominance.

Pulling back you look to see a string of saliva connected between you and Kuroo, lustfully staring at him. “Kitten, you look so fucking hot right now. Do you think you’re ready for me baby?”, you nod desperately willing to take anything Kuroo was willing to give to you. Kuroo looks down on you, noticing how cute you look breathlessly begging, he runs a finger over your clothed slit. “See, the thing is kitten. I don't think you want it bad enough.”, Kuroo see’s your eyes widen, chuckling at how desperate you look while nefariously putting on a faux pout. “No please Tetsu, I really want it. Please, I want your cock so bad, It’s all I can think about.”, Kuroo mockingly puts a finger on his chin, thinking to himself. “I think you have to prove to me how badly you want it kitten. I think you’ll prove it by taking my cock in this bratty mouth of yours, yes?”. You nod eagerly wanting any part of Kuroo in you, dragging you towards him helping you get on all fours. “Ok baby, tap on my thigh if it gets too much for you.”, you look up at Kuroo as he strokes himself feeling so overcome with your urges, feeling nothing but want. “Tell me yes baby.”, you verbalize it for him. Kuroo smiles, putting his finger on your lips, watching you take in his finger so sinfully, “Such a dirty girl, baby. Have you been hiding from me that you’re secretly a slut?”.

Sucking on Kuroo’s finger feeling yourself becoming wetter by the minute, pulling back from Kuroo. “Tetsu please I need your cock badly, I want it so much, I want to please you.”. Kuroo groans, throwing his head back, “Even though you’re such a brat giving me all these demands, I’ll give you what you want baby.”. He pushes the tip past your lips, watching you lose yourself on the way his cock lays on your tongue. “Baby, you take me so well. You want me to fuck you that badly that you’re willing to choke on my cock.”, Kuroo feels you moan around his cock. Moaning as you gag on his thick length, looking up at him to see him biting his lip. “Princess, your mouth is heavenly. I might finish too quickly, shit.”, he grabs your hair making it into a makeshift ponytail. Yanking you slowly up and down, feeling you take it just like his good girl should. He slowly picks up your head off his cock, feeling empty of him but not wanting to pester him any further.

Kuroo grabs the headboard behind you picking up the mask he threw behind you. You feel yourself pause, eye-fucking the man in front of you. “I love you so much Tetsu, give me everything please.”. Kuroo kisses your cheek, coming in close. Whispering very lowly in your ear, “I love you too, kitten but I’m about to fucking ruin you.”. He smirks as he puts on the mask, committing to the character. Ripping your panties off, “Kuroo! Really! You’re going to buy me a new pair.”. Instead of commenting back he stops, saying nothing as you feel on edge waiting for him to do something. He pulls away, wrapping his hand around your neck and your breath gets taken away. Feeling aroused by a boundary you’ve never crossed before with Kuroo.

You try to see Kuroo’s eyes through the cloth but fail, nodding your head. Kuroo grinds the tip of his cock through your folds feeling how wet you are. Moaning at the instant sensation of his hard cock, feeling waves but falling short of feeling the real thing. He leans down by your ear, “You really do never learn baby, first I shut you up with my cock and it still wasn’t enough.”. Breathing heavily and eyes fluttering shut, “Too bad I have to choke you just to get you to stop talking back like the little whore you are, huh?”. Your eyes flutter shut, overwhelmed by his voice in your ear and his hard cock easing against you. Kuroo slips the tip in slowly teasing his cock in you halfway, feeling your breath rise against his hand. “Yes, yes please Tetsu!”

Smirking under the mask, while groaning as he feels you clench against him. Giving you the feeling only to pull out, leaving you feeling empty. Biting your lip because you so badly want to respond to him teasing you but know it’ll only worsen the problem. You put your tied hands up to your face, embarrassed as you feel yourself only getting more aroused. Squeezing your eyes shut only to feel liquid trickling down your cheeks. “No way kitten, show me your face. I want to see your expression as I fuck you.”, Kuroo pulls your hands away seeing you cry in desperation. “Fuck Kitten, I was going to prolong the teasing but seeing you cry over my cock, I need you now.”

Leaning back and grabbing your feet to place them on his shoulders ready to give you what you’ve so desperately been craving. Sliding in as Kuroo bites his lip, only for a small groan to escape. Whimpering as you feel Kuroo slowly slipping in as you clamp down on him. “Fuck Kuroo, so fucking hot with that mask on.”, grazing his chest with your tied hands. Bottoming out feeling his skin smack against yours, moaning at his cock filling up every crevice of your insides. “Tetsu, right there!”, Kuroo pulls back out and goes in steadily. Hitting your cervix, again and again, eyes rolling back erotically. Pleasure coursing through your stomach, brain feeling fuzzy, and lost in your own pleasure that you don’t even hear Kuroo. “Kuroo! Fuck baby! So good! So good Tetsu!”

The coil in your stomach tightening, Kuroo repeatedly pushes in and out only to stop as you’re right at the edge. Still staying inside you as he starts circling around your clit. Your back arches off the bed, he pushes down on your lower stomach starting to rapidly rub your clit. “Argh! Tetsu! Baby! My brain feels fuzzy! Fuck! Oh my god!”, you feel your brain go completely blank. Stuffed, fucked, and overstimulated beyond your belief, only seeing an outline of Kuroo’s body. Reaching up to touch all around Kuroo, wanting so badly to kiss him as you teeter on the edge of cumming. Kuroo leans down, panting quietly, he knows you're close due to your expression and your tight cunt. Growling, “Cum Kitten, cum all over my cock like the good girl you are.”

Vision goes hazy and white, as the coil in your stomach snaps and you feel cum falling out where you and Kuroo are connected. Euphoria hitting you as you come down from your high that was cumming on Kuroo’s cock. Opening your eyes to see Kuroo above you with the mask still on. He unties your hands, you rub them a bit before taking the mask off him. Seeing Kuroo’s lip bleeding a bit from how hard he was trying to hold back his moans. Also thinking how hot he looked with deflated sweaty hair, bitten lips, and post haze orgasm. Bringing him to your lips, tasting just a hint of copper but not caring. “Don’t hold back your moans next time Tetsu.”, Kuroo’s eyebrows raise. “There’s going to be a next time, huh?”, going to get a towel to clean you up. Smirking, “What about next time I ride you while you wear the mask?”

divider credits go to @/anitalenia, @/kaitsawamura, @/aquazero and @/thecutestgrotto

shot of espresso ☕️ : this is my first time posting and writing smut lmk what you think!

@espr3ss0mart1ni on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: CHANGBIN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: INCUBUS!CHANGBIN, HUMAN!READER, ORAL (F. REC), SIZE KINK, VIRGINITY LOSS (READERS FIRST TIME), SPIT KINK, MARKING, THGIH GRINDING, PRAISE, APHRODISIAC, HAIR PULLING, BREEDING, BIG COCK BINNIE, FINGERING, UNPROTECTED SEX, ROUGH SEX, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, CREAM PIE, CUM SHOT, IMPLIED MORE ROUNDS ☾ ━━━ WC: 1K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     “I don’t think it’s gonna work,” Y/n told her friend. 

     A weekly movie night turned into talking about incubus and succubus. Random but the supernatural film had mentioned them and that led into a spiral that ended in googling how to summon them.

     “Well if I’m not getting fucked I’m going home,” Her friend said

     “This wasn’t even the plan for the night!” Y/n called to her

     “And now it’s a problem. Good night!” She heard the door shut hard. Groaning, she got up from the ground and cleaned up the candles and food. Disappointed but not surprised. All of these things were just fiction anyway. Though it would have been interesting. 

     Y/n told herself she’d do the dishes in the morning and dragged herself off the bed. Thankful she decided to shower and put her pajamas on before her friend came over. Tucking herself under the warm covers and scrolling through social media till sleep finally took her. Unaware of the company watching her from the corner. 

     Passing out seemed an easy task, keeping dreams at bay was harder. No one could ever know when they started but just know that you became conscious of them at some point. Maybe it was because of what they were talking about— the demons that came in at night and fucked you in your sleep. But the dream seemed too vivid for a rem sleep. 

     Tongue flicked back and forth on her clit as she grabbed at the curly hair between her legs. Red eyes peering at her and watching her every move. His hands pushed her legs up to her chest and opened her up to him. 

     “Such a pretty pussy,” the male chuckled to himself his tongue slithering inside her as he gripped her thighs in his hand. 

     He was just as bare as she was, having stripped both of them before he started his exploration of her body. Tongue currently prodding deep inside as she moaned in her sleep. Her hands gripped his hair tighter. 

     The muscle pressed up against her G-spot, eliciting a loud moan from her. The male between her legs moaned into her as his nose brushed against her clit. Her body arched up as she rutted against his face.

     “Feel good baby?” He asked, pulling his tongue out of her and wrapping his lips around her clit.

     “Yes! Fuck, wanna cum.”

     “Cum for me then baby.” 

     The more he sloppily made out with her cunt the more she was getting closer and closer to the high that never came. Her eyes shot open at the worst possible time. Her covers were thrown off and her body was uncomfortably warm, her panties and sleep shorts feeling wet. 

     “Have a nice nap?” A male voice came from the corner of her room

     Y/n’s eyes adjusted in the dark to him. A pair of horns placed in his curly hair, lust eyes staring at her. Built frame that had her drooling. “Are you…”

     “The incubus you summoned.” He smiled at her as he made his way over to the bed, kneeling and hovering over her body.

     Y/n’s eyes went wide. She didn’t think it would work, “I didn’t think—”

     “No, but it sure gave you a nice little dream just on the off chance it did, didn’t it?”

     “Yes…” Yn shyly said as he leaned down and placed a kiss on her pulse point

     “What do you want now? Want the big bad demon to take your virginity? Mhm?”

     “How did you—”

     “Oh yeah, humans don’t remember your dreams.”

     “You can see my dreams?”

     “Only the dirty ones,” Changbin smiled as he placed another kiss on her neck, “So?”

     Y/n thought for a moment. Never one to participate in hookup culture or go out and date so sex was just left to her masturbating. It didn’t feel wrong with what he was offering. What could be the worst outcome of sleeping with an incubus?

     “Please,” Y/n whimpered 

     “Please what?”

     “Please fuck me,” Her body felt like it was on fire when she begged him. 

     Not even a second later, he had ripped both of their clothes off. Making the playing field even from the get-go. 

     “Think you look best like this bunny.” the demon smiled as he groped her breasts, lips moving along her neck in quick open mouth kisses

     “Wait, what can I call you?”

     “Need something to scream?” he chuckled “Call me Changbin, bunny.”

     Changbin ran his fingers over her nipples and watched her shiver. Laughing at how sensitive she was as he sucked bruises onto her skin. Slowly pressing a knee against her soaked core. Y/n laced her fingers in his hair and slightly ground against him.

     Changbin moved his hands down from her breasts to her hips, guiding her clit across his thigh. Y/n moved one hand to cover her mouth, hyperaware of her neighbors. Changbin just laughed at her

     “Feeble attempt bunny.” He told her, moving one of his hands to grab her wrist and pinning her hand down to the pillow under her head. Quickly pushing his lips onto hers. Y/n gasped, giving him the perfect chance to slide his tongue into her mouth. Forked tongue exploring every part as she melted under him. Her body gave into him as his tongue wrapped around hers before he pulled away. Leaving her mouth open to him.

     Changbin moved his hand from her wrist to grab her jaw and hold it open as he leaned down and spit into her mouth. He saw her flinch a little as the liquid hit her tongue. “Swallow.”

     He closed her mouth and watched her swallow as he instructed. Her whole heated up to ten after. Every little touch had her whining. Perfect effect.

     “Good bunny,” Changbin smiled and pushed her legs to her chest and came face to face with her cunt

     Blowing on her cunt softly and watching her convulse before sliding his forked tongue inside her.

     “Fuck!” Y/n cried

     Changbin moaned into her as his tongue thrusted in and out of her. Tips of his tongue rubbing against her walls and reaching for her cervix. Y/n reached between her legs to grab a handful of his hair. He held onto the back of her knees, keeping her folded in half for him, and in the back of her head, she knew she was going to be a bit sore from the position tomorrow. 

     His tongue slipped out of her for him to wrap his lips around her clit. Taking the breath out of her as he sucked on the bud. Her moans sounded like music to his ear, moaning into the bud. Y/n felt herself getting pulled closer to the edge like in her dream the harder he sucked on her clit.

     “‘M close Binnie,” she whined

     “Gonna cum for Binnie, bunny?” He asked

     “Yes! Pleasepleaseplease let me cum.”

     “Go on bunny.” 

     Changbin slipped his tongue back into her. Letting the muscle fill her up and thrust in and out of her. Y/n’s orgasm hit her like a truck, harder than any she’d felt in the past when she masturbated. Changbin drank up her essence. Cleaning her out completely as she shook from her high, mind going blank as he pulled his tongue out of her. 

     “Can’t wait to stuff this little pussy.” Changbin groaned as he dipped two thick fingers into her sensitive cunt

     Scissoring her open and watching her every move. Her droopy eyes watched him through her legs. Wall’s already clenching around his fingers, just before he pulled them out and spat into her hole. Pushing his fingers back into her. Stretching her open for him. 

     “Fuck me, please bin. Need your cock,” Y/n begged

     “Not gonna be able to take me without prep,” Changbin told her

     “Yes, I can! Need it, Binnie.”

     Changbin pulled his fingers out of her and brought her legs down. Y/n was going to question him then he laid his heavy cock on her stomach. Tip reaching past her belly button, precum leaking from the mushroom tip and onto her.

     Her mouth salivated at the sight. She knew she couldn’t possibly take all of him but her deluded mind said she could. “Still think you can?”

     “Mhm.” Y/n nodded

     “Never had a cock in you before yet you think you can take me.” Changbin laughed, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

     The Incubus pushed her back into her previous position. Exposing her hole to him again. He rubbed the underside of his shaft along her wet folds as slowly as he could. Y/n whined and continued begging him to just put it in her. 

     He pressed the angry tip into her and moved slowly. Y/n realized how she underestimated his girth. Her hands flew to grab her sheets as he breached her virgin hole. 

     “There we go, make room for Binnie,” Changbin said as he kept pushing into her.

     Her walls parted for him, adjusted to his size. A mix of pain and pleasure covered her body. He fit himself in as much as he could before giving her just a moment to adjust before pulling back and thrusting back into her. 

     “Been a while since I’ve had a virgin.” Changbin leaned over, hands pressing against her thighs as he pounded into her, “Might have to keep you for myself after this.”

     Words weren’t forming in her mind. Just feeling nothing but his cock inside her. And her second orgasm coming along too quickly.

     “More,” She whined. 

     “Just need my cock in you, don’t you bunny?” Changbin moved her arms to wrap around her legs and hold them open, “Cum on my cock and I’ll give you something special bunny.”

     His thumb grazed over her clit before starting to rub the engorged bud. Her walls clamped on him immediately and his name came out of her mouth like a chant. 

     “That's it bunny. Let go for Binnie.”

     “fuckfuckfuckfu—“ Y/n’s walls gripped onto Changbin’s cock as another orgasm hit her. Washing his cock in it as he continued fucking her through it to his own high. 

     Changbin pushed her thighs to the side and pumped into her till he was shooting his load into her. Pulling out and letting his cum shoot onto her stomach. Y/n looked down as his seed shot onto her stomach. She watched him rub his cock on her as she felt a warm sensation above her womb. 

     “Bin…” Y/n whined 

     “You’re fine, bunny. Just let it happen, let Binnie claim you.” 

     Y/n whined as the sensation had spread through her whole body. Changbin pushed his cock back into her, much easier this time. Y/n threw her head back into the pillow as he sank into her. She thought it was going to be like the previous round, not being able to fit all of him inside but she was surprised when she felt him deeper than last time. She was positive he was inside her womb.

     “Look at that, just needed a little help to fit me all in.”

     Y/n looked down, he was definitely balls deep inside her, Then her eyes caught the marking on her skin, almost shining through his cum. “What’s…”

     “Said I would give you something special bunny,” Changbin pulled out and thrusted back into her, “Gave you a special little mark. You’re all mine now bunny.”

     She could feel every vein on his cock as he pounded into her. She felt like her whole body was on fire as he brought back his pounding pace. “Now just my little sex bunny. Gonna let me use you however and whenever I want?” 

     “Yes!” Y/n cried as his cock hit right on her g-spot, not even something she had yet found.

     “Good bunny. Keep your legs open while Binnie breads you.”

     Changbin leaned forward over her and kept pounding into her. Every hit of his cock brought her closer and closer to another edge till it hit her again. Convulsing under him as he kept abusing her cunt. Changbin pulled out of her momentarily, flipped her onto her stomach and entered into her again. His hips slamming into her ass as he gripped her hips. Y/n yelled into her pillow as he used her pussy till he came inside her, not pulling out this time. 

     He let his cum fill her up. Y/n moaned as she felt his hot ropes of cum hit her walls. The demon only pulled out once he was finished and turned her back on her back. Y/n felt her mind slipping into unconsciousness as he kissed her neck.

     “I’m not done yet bunny. Still got a few more loads for you.”

☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[eimids]

Don’t care about them

Alexia Putellas x reader

i’m gonna keep writing to annoy that rude anon😉

this is inspired by this whole situation going on in my blog!! enjoy nonnie i know you are reading this😚😚

warnings: bad body image, rude comments, angst

You and Alexia had dated for a year before your relationship became public. It wasn’t ideal but you were happy that now you were able to show to the world your girlfriend.

The press was having a field day after your relationship came out with the one and only, Alexia Putellas. They were writing about your life and every single thing you ever did.

That wasn’t the worst part. It was the fact that they were talking about your body and looks. Giving their opinions on your posts on instagram. Judging and criticizing if you are worthy enough for Alexia, the star player of Spain and Barca.

The articles weren’t all that bad but the comments were.

Under a photo with you wearing heavier makeup than usual.

“She wears way too much makeup, i bet she’s actually ugly and just maskes it behind that makeup”

If you weren’t wearing makeup.

“She’s so ugly, look at those eyebags. she doesn’t deserve Alexia”

Then there was a photo of you in a bikini.

“🤢 look at those things and that stomach. she should be a lot skinnier. alexia deserves much better than that”

“She’s trying so hard to suck her stomach in it’s pathetic”

“I wouldn’t be posting bikini pictures with that body”

You quickly decided to turn off the comments on specific posts. Not wanting to hear the mean words they said about you.

You went through the rabbit hole of scrolling and reading through every single comment before deleting the comments. It wasn’t good for you but you couldn’t help it. Just needing to read what they said about you. Some comments were actually nice. Telling you how cute you and Alexia were together. Probably most of them were nice but they went to blind eyes. You were only able to see the negative ones.

It quickly became too much for you. You actually started to believe the comments about Alexia deserving better. You started to isolate from her and from everyone. It was easy since Alexia was in the Spain women’s camp during international break.

It started as you just not replying to her texts so often and missing some of her calls but it quickly escalated to you completely ignoring her. You thought she wouldn’t care about your absence in her life but she did.

In fact she was stressing the whole camp about it. She didn’t perform as well and you were in her mind constantly. She thought she did something wrong. Luckily for her there was only one more day of camp and then she would see you again and solve this situation. She knew that whatever it was, you could work through it. You always did.

When Alexia came back home finally she found you in your shared bed. She noticed the dry tears on your cheeks and your phone in your hand. She decided to unlock it to see what it was.

She was horrified when she saw all the comments about you. How could anyone say those things about her precious girl. The girl who wouldn’t hurt or say anything bad about anyone. She hated that this was somewhat her fault. Her being a public figure, it was hard to avoid those comments.

She closed your phone and took her own in her hands to post quickly on her instagram. After that she cuddled close to you. Not wanting to wake you up but also wanting you as close as possible. She stayed like that for a while before falling asleep herself.

The next morning you woke up to the soft hands caressing your body. So gently touching every part of your body while whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“Should we break up?”

That wasn’t at all what Alexia expected from your mouth and she tensed up immediately.

“What, why” She asked breathlessly.

“I don’t deserve you. They all say it. You deserve much better than me” You said while looking into her beautiful eyes. Tears creeping in your own.

“Absolutely not. You are more than enough and i love you more than anything my beautiful girl” She answered then quickly followed “You don’t actually wanna break up, right?” She asked nervously.

“No” You said and shook your head. You started crying to her about all the mean stuff in your comments. She listed carefully and assured that none of them were true.

The rest of the day she showed just how much she loved you and you stayed in bed for the whole day. Just before you went to sleep you checked your instagram. To your surprise there was a post from Alexia made the day before.

Liked by yourinstagram, Lucy Bronze and 1, 456, 789 others.

alexiaputellas: my beautiful, amazing, kind and loving girlfriend 🩷 te quiero mi niña

the comments you been writing about this beautiful soul are horrible and i disagree with them all. i couldn’t ask for anything better and if we are being honest, i don’t know how i deserve her but i’m so lucky to have her in my life<3

so for anyone who has been sending those comments, just stop. if you’re own life is that boring then maybe get some help 🙂

me and my girl will enjoy our life together 🤝

no me importa lo que piensen los demás✨

—

hehee

[thoughtfulfiction]

Stolen Glances

Author’s note: reposting my old work on this side blog! Let me know if you’d like to read a specific one. Thank you for reading!

Warning: alcohol and drinking mentioned

Five days. That wasn’t even a full week. It should be relatively simple. You and your friends were going to spend a few days at the Fern Ridge Reservoir in a luxury home that Justin had rented out for the group. Everyone had their own rooms, the house was massive and you’d get to relax off the grid and recharge your batteries. There was relatively nothing to complain about.

“So…are you going to tell Justin you’re into him yet or just keep torturing yourself?” Your friend Bree asks, snapping you out of your daydream, carrying her bags to the car. The two of you had flown into Oregon from LA and were driving to the lake with Charlie and Tate, two of Justin’s friends that had really become like family to you in the last few years.

“She’s more likely to admit her feelings when she’s dead.” Tate scoffs while grabbing your backpack and shoving it in the trunk. “I want to have faith in you kid but, I just don’t know if you’ve got it in you right now.”

Charlie walks out of his house and hands you your water bottle, “you can tell him when you’re ready. Don’t listen to them, they're just impatient. Like five year olds who keep asking their mom to buy them McDonald’s on the way home.”

You simply nodded, staring daggers at your friends after Charlie came in and defended you. He hopped in the driver’s seat while Bree and Tate sat in the back. Looking out the window, you let your mind roam, both excited and nervous for what this little trip had in store.

It really wasn’t your fault, falling for him was like waking up on the couch with the tv on and not even remembering that you fell asleep. One day he was a good friend, a friend who you met years ago when he was a rookie living in a frat house in Costa Mesa. Then, somewhere along the way you fell for his unwavering kindness and his sense of humor. Or maybe it was the way the corner of his mouth tilts up sometimes in a side grin. Or his ability to always look like he just rolled out of bed but somehow still looked extremely put together. Everything about Justin, especially the little things, made you want him more. You just couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that. Admitting your feelings would just complicate things. And what if he didn’t even feel the same way? The thought of listening to him let you down easy while trying to spare you the embarrassment really just made you want to crawl into a hole on the side of the road and never come out.

So yes, long story short, these so-called “feelings?” You had no choice but to take them to the grave.

“Can we just have a nice relaxing weekend and enjoy ourselves? We can leave the drama and whatever else for when we get back to California, please.”

They simply nodded and you caught Tate and Bree sharing a look but you didn’t want to even think about what that could mean for you, instead deciding to focus on the scenery for another 20 minutes before the house came into view. Charlie started honking as soon as he pulled into the driveway and Gabe came running out, pulling you in for a hug.

“Hey neighbor.” He mutters out, giving you a squeeze.

“We haven’t lived next to each other in four years, Gabe.”

“Best year of my life honestly. I don’t think I’ve had more junk food…ever.”

Bree comes up behind the two of you and gets a hug of her own. “That’s because you and Nabers here kept suggesting pizza and ice cream nights. When y/n told me some NFL guys moved in next door I thought we’d be seeing more vegetables and less Oreos but it really was the best time.”

The guys unloaded all the bags from the car while you and Bree caught up with Gabe’s girlfriend Jordan. She informed you that Justin had gone out to get groceries with one of her good friends that she brought with her.

“Katie just thinks Justin is the sweetest thing ever so I figured why not introduce them. I’m tired of watching her drool over his old Instagram pictures. Hoping to play Cupid this weekend.” She jokes and you force out a small laugh, feeling your stomach turn at what this girl could possibly look like.

An hour later Bree rushes into your room and closes the door behind her after everyone has finally met and introduced themselves. “I know you said no drama but—”

“Nope, I don’t wanna hear it,” you interrupt her while you unpack your bag. “We are in a freaking mansion, on the water. Let’s focus on that!”

“Or…” she sits on the bed, completely interrupting your flow. “We could just acknowledge the fact that she took the room right next to Justin’s after knowing him for approximately two seconds. And she looks like the second coming of Candice Swanepoel. I mean, it’s kind of unfair,” she huffs.

You shake your head with a laugh. “She’s gorgeous, it’s pretty unreal. And definitely unfair. But we are going to focus on other things like having fun, enjoying the weather and spending quality time with our friends. Maybe have a couple strawberry margaritas with sugar on the rim. And we will be nice to Katie, even if she does look like an OG Victoria secret model before SavagexFenty kicked them to the curb. We will be welcoming and nice.”

She looks up at the ceiling like she can’t hear you and then back at you to face your pointed look, warning her to be on her best behavior. “Fine. I will be nice to Candice Jr.”

“Thank you.” You roll your eyes and pat her on the back.

Justin suggested riding jet skis which sounded amazing until Katie said she’d just finished touching up her makeup. Bree was about to make a snide comment but you elbowed her in the side before she could get the words out. Gabe and Jordan were taking a nap and Charlie was on the phone with one of the parents of the high school team he was coaching so you, Bree, Tate and Justin headed out after changing into your swimsuits.

Everyone found a life jacket that fit them just right and you hopped onto the back of Justin’s jet ski.

“Please promise me you won’t drive this thing like a grandma. I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” You joke, grabbing onto his waist. His laugh vibrates against you and you bite back a smile. He takes off and the two of you bounce against the water leaving you holding on for dear life. After a few minutes, you get used to it and it honestly feels freeing, just you and him out on the open water, taking a tour of the homes that are a little ways away until he stops at a man made cave, far away from any prying eyes.

“What are you doing?” You ask, feeling your heartbeat in your ears. Even in the shade, the reflection of the water hitting his eyes made you feel insane. And you couldn’t stop looking at him if you tried, not that you were trying very hard in the first place.

“Have you ever driven a jet ski before?” You shake your head no and he motions for you to switch spots with him. He leans over you to show you where the on switch is and how to work the speed and the brake, curving his hands over yours on the handles.

The smile that is threatening to take over your face is too much, so you settle for a joke. “You, Justin Herbert, giving up…control? This is a moment in history.”

“Just drive,” his cheeks heat up, turning a light shade of pink, “and try to get us back to the house in one piece, please.” You may or may not have driven as fast as you could with a few extra turns just to feel his body against yours for a little bit longer.

Although the afternoon was a victory, the evening brought you right back to reality. Katie had practically been glued to his side ever since you came back to the house. She sat next to him at dinner and practically jumped into the loveseat after he sat down for movie night. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and walked into the kitchen to grab some kettle corn, taking your time in the kitchen before eventually making your way back to your seat. Luckily it was a movie you’d seen a dozen times so you weren’t missing anything. If anything, the movie in front of you was nothing compared to the horror film to your right, so Charlie cracked a joke to get you out of your head. Justin was so focused on watching his friend make you laugh that he didn’t even realize that Katie had fallen asleep on his shoulder, holding onto his arm like it was her personal body pillow. You caught a glimpse of the domestic scene that looked straight out of a romcom and it almost made you want to call it a night right then and there. But you sat through it and watched some random girl cozy up to the man you’d had serious feelings for…for the last year.

The next morning, you woke up later than usual. Truth was, you hadn’t gotten much sleep since you were thinking about Justin and Katie all night and you needed something else to focus on. You walked into the bathroom you were sharing with Bree to brush your teeth and get ready for the day.

When you swung the door open you froze, staring for a brief moment before covering your eyes. “Um—I’m so sorry I had no idea you were in here! Why, why are you in here? Doesn’t the master bedroom have a bathroom attached?”

Justin quickly covered up, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his waist. “Bree liked the mirror in my bathroom so I let her use it. I thought the door was locked, how did you get in?”

“The lock is broken, Bree didn’t tell you that?”

He lets out a nervous laugh, “she may have neglected to mention that.” You were going to kill her.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna go. So sorry again for the—you know what? I’m just gonna leave and we can act like this didn’t happen.” You close the door before he can utter a word and you head back to your room, silently praying that no one finds out about this.

He couldn’t take it anymore. You were avoiding him like the plague the entire day. Since the morning you’d hardly looked at him, even when he pulled you aside to assure you that your little encounter this morning, although awkward, was totally fine. He even sat through watching you and Charlie go tubing together and share a pizza at lunch, but his final straw was when he saw you taking a nap together in Charlie’s bed with the tv playing. The two of you had always been close but the quarterback couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something more was going on and he didn’t like it. This trip was supposed to be about him getting to spend some quality time with you before training camp and Charlie knew that. Nothing was going according to plan and Justin knew he had to do something about it.

He rushed to get ready for dinner and let out a sigh of relief when he found you in the kitchen. “I know it’s none of my business but, is there something going on with you and Charlie?”

You took a big breath, not exactly ready to have this conversation and yet here you were. “No,” you state blankly, “there’s nothing going on between Charlie and I.”

“Then what’s going on? You’ve barely said two words to me all day so there has to be a problem.” Justin knew he had no right to be jealous, especially of one of his best friends but something was just nagging at him to keep asking questions. It was like word vomit and he couldn’t stop.

“Why are we even talking about this right now? It’s really not a big deal Justin, seriously, just let it go please.”

He clearly wasn’t having your attempts to dodge him. “No! I'm not going to let it go until you tell me. I mean, if this is about this morning I thought we handled that.” You don’t miss the subtle clench in his jaw. His patience is quickly running out and you really don’t get why this has him so worked up. Possibly because you’re so focused on your own rollercoaster of emotions.

“It’s not about this morning!” You blurt out. He was backing you into a corner, literally.

His pleading eyes were begging you to talk to him. “Then what is it about?”

“You! It’s about you. How I feel about you is a problem. It is THE problem, okay?” You shake your head, mentally shutting down at the look on his face. There it was, that horrible look you wished you’d never see…pity. Honestly? It looked worse in real life than it ever had in your nightmares and the sigh he gave you afterwards was just the icing on the humiliation cake.

“Y/n, I—”

“Are you guys ready to head out for dinner?” Gabe pops his head in, catching an immediate whiff of the uncomfortable air in the room. “Uh sorry. Was I interrupting something?”

“No.” You fold your arms across your chest, creating a physical and emotional barrier between the two of you.

“Yes,” Justin says at the same time, furrowing his eyebrows and giving you a sideways glance, his gaze softening at your watery eyes.

“You didn’t interrupt anything,” you huff out with a sniff, after a quick swipe under your eye you step around the man who was whispering for you to wait. You ignored him and kept moving your way out of the house, sliding into the car without turning back. Charlie took one look at you and asked if everything was okay but you really weren’t sure how to answer. How you were really feeling would surely bring you to tears and you really didn’t feel like crying in a car full of people.

That evening, your phone lit up as you sat motionless in your bed, contemplating going home the next morning. Of course it was a text from Justin.

I know you’re awake, I can’t sleep either. Can we please talk?

You texted him back a simple “fine” and there were two tiny knocks on your door less than a minute later. He was probably standing outside your room door when he texted.

“We didn’t get to finish our conversation earlier.” His voice is even deeper due to the exhaustion. You didn’t even think that was possible.

“I said everything I needed to,” you say with a casual shrug.

“Well good because I need you to listen,” Justin closes the door behind him and takes in a breath. “You’re one of my best friends…”

“Oh god please. You don’t have to let me down gently. I’m a big girl I can—”

“I’m not done. And I’m not—I’m not letting you down gently. I’m not letting you down at all. You have been one of the most consistently good things in my life and somewhere along the way you became a lot more than consistency. You’ve become somewhat of a necessity, an essential part of my life that I don’t think I can or want to live without.” He sighs, running a hand over his face with a sigh and you just stand there, limbs shaking in anticipation, waiting for him to get to his main point.

Justin closes his eyes, visibly collecting himself and his thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is that you aren’t the only one with feelings here. And that your feelings? They aren’t a problem.”

“You—you mean that you share the…you like me too?” You laugh a little, in complete disbelief.

He steps toward you, nodding with a smile of his own. “I really like you.”

“Wait…but what about Cand—Katie? She’s gorgeous, fun and is super into you. Plus she looks borderline perfect in the morning from what I gathered. I’m pretty sure I drool in my sleep sometimes and I have eye boogers.”

That really sends him over the edge and he covers his mouth to stifle a laugh. “It’s a good thing I love eye boogers, they’re my favorite.”

You smack his chest at the playful joke and his energy pulls you in, pressing your bodies together like magnets. And right there you feel like a kid again, standing next to your crush with your heart racing. He leans down and his lips brush against yours and he asks if this is okay, causing you to nod because obviously you want this with him, and more. Your lips fit together seamlessly and he tilts your head up by lightly cupping your face, running his thumb across the length of your jaw while deepening the kiss. Your entire body is covered in goosebumps even though the kiss is so soft and gentle. He pulls away slightly, pecking your lips after he takes a second as to not rush into things too quickly, waiting too long to ruin the moment. Pure bliss coats all of his senses as he begins peppering your face with more feathery kisses, silently willing himself to always remember the softness of your skin and how amazing it feels to finally be this close.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” the grin he’s sporting is taking over his entire being and before you can respond he’s kissing you again. You happily oblige, smiling against his lips with a satisfied hum.

The next morning you were pretty sure you were still smiling. You woke up feeling super comfortable, turning around to catch a glimpse of him, thinking about pinching yourself to make sure this was real. He looks so peaceful, his clothed chest moving up and down rhythmically, a slight pout on his face. You can’t help but run your fingers through his hair, smiling to yourself once again when he begins to stir in his sleep. With his eyes still closed, he pulls you into his arms, lazily kissing you like he’s been doing this for years.

“Good morning,” he whispers, his eyes finally open, looking alert and bright.

“Good morning, I cannot believe you practically tackled me first thing in the morning. I probably have morning breath.”

“You don’t and even if you did, I wouldn’t care. And you don’t have eye boogers or drool on your face, you look really good first thing in the morning. The most incredible sight to wake up to.” You want to kiss him again but you decide it’s best to hold off, leaning over to check the time on his phone. “It’s 5am, you should probably head back to your room before everyone wakes up and this turns into a CIA interrogation.”

He chuckles, kissing your forehead before he gets up to stretch out his limbs. “We have all the time in the world to figure this out when we get back to LA, keeping this between us is probably our best bet for now. I do not want to hear all of Tate’s questions. And Gabe would be even worse, he’s been telling me to do this for years.”

You tilt your head towards him and whisper yell, “you’ve thought about this for years and didn’t say anything?”

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who was helplessly pining over someone and refused to say anything about their feelings out of fear of rejection. I was scared too. And now I’m not. Now, I’m going to head back to my bed and count down the minutes until I get to kiss you again.”

You shake your head, laying back down ready for your second round of sleep. “You’re a dork.”

“I am. And that is your favorite thing about me. Get some sleep, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Waking up again around 8:30, you realize that skipping out on dinner last night has come back to haunt you. Gingerly walking down the stairs as to not wake anyone up, you tip toe into the kitchen quietly, only to find Katie already up and pouring a glass of orange juice.

“Good morning,” she sings, looking bright and cheery. Maybe in another life she was Giselle from Enchanted because she could definitely be some sort of Disney princess. “I’m so glad you’re awake because I need some advice. Do you think Justin would want pancakes or waffles? I wanna surprise him with this breakfast tray and I just want everything to look right you know? So what do you think?”

I think his tongue was practically down my throat last night and he’d probably want to have me for breakfast but I can’t say any of that. “Um let’s see. Definitely pancakes and skip out on the orange juice cause he’ll probably want some coffee.” As painful as it is to help her, you know this small sacrifice will pay off. You’ve basically already got the guy, there’s no use in rubbing it in the poor girl’s face when you won’t be seeing her anymore two days from now.

Katie nods excitedly, prepping her pancake batter and thanking you several times. You settle for a bagel with cream cheese and head back upstairs to get ready for the day. The afternoon isn’t very eventful, you realize that the guys had already left for a fishing expedition earlier in the morning so Katie’s breakfast was cold by the time Justin got back. He looked at you hesitantly, waiting for you to nod your head before he thanked her and tossed the food in the microwave. Jordan suggested the group go out to a bar/club that night since you and Bree had been mentioning these famous strawberry margaritas since the day you arrived.

The music was loud as soon as you walked in. Gabe ordered the first round of drinks and you snuck out of the booth to reapply some mascara while the other girls browsed the marg menu. A knock on the door startles you into dropping your makeup in the sink.

“Occupied!” You yell out.

“It’s me.” Smiling to yourself at the familiar voice, you lock the door behind you when Justin walks in.

“Hi.”

Your face is in his hands with the mascara long forgotten as he softly says “c’mere,” leaning down to capture your lips with your back still against the door. He tastes like the shot of Don Julio you all just took and a little bit of mint. Your hand is in his hair again, pulling it ever so slightly so you are still as close to him as humanly possible without standing on your toes. Justin knows you both have to be back soon before anyone notices but the thought of your body not being practically glued to his makes him really want to go home. The kiss today is sloppier than last night, there’s more urgency, more fire. Neither of you thought it could get better but your hands are all over each other, your arms struggling to wrap itself around his bicep and at some point he had a handful of your ass. Not that you were complaining.

The kiss leaves you breathless, letting out a soft laugh as you pat him on the chest. “We should stop. I don’t want to but, we have to unfortunately.”

His lips curl into a small frown, almost a pout and you are seconds away from kissing him again. “I know. You should go first and I’ll be right out. Definitely need to splash some cold water on my face or something, I need a minute.”

Nodding your head in understanding, you step out to give him some space, but not before he grabs your hand and kisses the inside of your wrist.

An hour later you’re two margs and two shots in. Katie has been hanging all over Justin as soon as he got back from the bathroom and it’s taking everything in you to prevent yourself from yelling at her to get her hands off of him. And bless his heart he really is trying to keep his distance, catching your eye with an apologetic look every time she finds her way next to him again but it’s really getting exhausting.

“We should go dance!” Bree exclaims, snapping you out of your jealous rage. You nod immediately, desperate to look at anything other than what is happening at your table.

🎶H-O-T-T-O-G-O

Snap and clap and touch your toes

Raise your hands, now body roll

Dance it out, you're hot to go

H-O-T-T-O-G-O

Snap and clap and touch your toes

Raise your hands, now body roll

H-O-T-T-O-G-O🎶

You found yourself singing your heart out with not only Bree but some guys that also knew every word to the song. Getting lost in the moment and also not being remotely close to being sober you danced, letting him grab your hand and spin you around as Chappell Roan continued to play.

“I’m Matt,” the stranger tells you when the song is finished.

You hold your hand out, “y/n. You’re not a bad duet partner Matt.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he laughs, still holding onto you.

An awkward silences washes over the moment when you begin to sober up a bit and pull your hand back. “I need to grab some water, excuse me.”

“Hello! Earth to y/n! That guy was cute and totally into you. What the hell is your problem?” Bree lectures you as you sit at the bar.

He’s cute but he’s not Justin, you think to yourself. “I just needed a drink that was a lot of dancing and it’s hot out there.”

Your excuse is pointless because you feel a presence behind you. “Can I get three waters please?”

Bree looks at Matt, thanking him and grabbing her water bottle to give you some privacy. He settles in the bar stool next to you and slides the water in your direction. “Are you from here? Because I’d remember a face like that walking around.”

The sentiment would usually make you feel good but now you just wished a certain someone was giving you flirty compliments. “I’m only here for a few more days unfortunately. Then it’s back to real life.”

“Well maybe I could convince you to come back? Make this some sort of regular thing? Us seeing each other?”

Back at the table, Justin was staring daggers at the bar area. As soon as Bree sat down without you, Tate asked where you were.

“Attagirl.” The football player heard his friend say and he moved around in his seat to get release the building tension in his shoulders. Katie was next to him saying something but all he could focus on was how close this guy was sitting next to you. Did the chairs really need to be that close?

“Bro, Justin.“ Charlie snaps in his face.

“What?” His tone was a bit more aggressive and irate than he intended but he couldn’t help it.

“If you hold that bottle any tighter you’re gonna shatter the glass man.”

He hadn’t even noticed he was treating the Nectarine Premiere bottle like it was a stress ball. The man slid it away from him on the table, turning his gaze back to the bar. You were laughing at something the guy was saying and the way the guy was looking at you was eating him alive.

Katie placed her hand on his thigh and kept going with her story that she’d been telling. Justin couldn’t take it anymore.

He plucked her hand off of him and got up when he saw you and the guy heading outside. “Excuse me.” The group watched him take several long strides until he was out the door.

Matt looks up with his mouth open as soon as Justin comes into view. “Dude, you’re Justin Herbert! I’m a huge fan man I bought your jersey last year. Wear it every Sunday.”

“It’s uh—it’s nice to meet you…”

“Oh it’s Matt.”

“Matt,” he says slowly trying to get rid of the bitterness in his voice but it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Matt is too busy being a fanboy to see that anything is wrong. They take a selfie and Justin sends him on his way, the fan now too excited to have remembered he was trying to get your number.

Justin blows out a breath, staring at you until he hears you laugh. “This isn’t funny,” he groans.

“On the contrary, it’s hilarious. I’ve had to deal with it for the last three days. You didn’t even last an hour before running over here and putting a stop to it.”

“I didn’t run,” he counters, “I walked—very quickly. Not my fault I have long legs.”

You take a sip of your water. “Sure. Now how are you going to get yourself out of this? We said we weren’t going to tell them until we talked about what this is.”

“We did say that but I know what this is. I want to be with you. I want to kiss you, hold your hand, dance with you. I want…I want us to be together. That was the whole point of this trip.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you urge him to explain. “I told Charlie I was ready. Planned this entire getaway to have one last trip before camp but I also didn’t want to leave again without telling you how I feel. What better place to tell someone you love them than at the lake?”

“You love me?”

He grabs your hand, feeling a sudden need for you to anchor him to the ground. “I love everything about you. I’m just sorry it took me this long to tell you the truth.”

“Better late than never. I love you too, a lot.”

He smiles again, a weight lifted off of him that he’d been carrying for quite some time. Justin is so happy that he doesn’t think he’s capable of words right now.

“Come here,” you tell him and he immediately closes any distance between you.

You give him a slow kiss, knowing you have all the time in the world to get to be with him.

Until a knock on the window startles you apart.

“I FREAKING KNEW IT!” Bree yells.

“Finally.” Charlie says shaking his head.

Justin rests his forehead against yours, too far gone to even care about PDA. He’d deal with the consequences later. “Do we have to go back in there and answer all their questions?”

“I think I’m gonna need one more kiss before we go,” you whisper.

Your brand new boyfriend nods in excitement, leaning in immediately. “Yes ma’am.”

[seohwang]

XXXX.

First kisses with Ateez - Jongho ver.

Genre: fluff

Word count: 755

Warnings: none, Jongho is just too smooth for his own good, that's all

A/N: While working on my other bigger projects, I've decided to post another member's part of my First kisses with Ateez reaction series!! This time, the member of choice is Jongho, as I've been especially focused on him lately. Hope you enjoy and see you again soon! ♥

A/N 2: Btw, this is part of a small event I did on both this blog and my other, more nsfw one, @kp-alice! Go check it out if you're interested in some fun sub!yeosang smut ♥

Now, I think Jongho is a simple man

Not in a bad way, of course not!!

He just likes to take things at a slow, comfortable pace, especially when it comes to relationships

So he would definitely be one of the less nervous members when it came to your first kiss

He wouldn’t worry about it much, deciding that he’d stress about it when it actually happened

And in the meantime, he'd want to get to know you as much as possible, resulting in many relaxed, quiet dates where the two of you would get to hang out and talk, or even just vibe silently in the other’s presence

Whether it would be at a park, at home, or at some cute and cozy café - much like right now

You were just planning on taking a short walk around, wanting to enjoy the unexpectedly pleasant weather today

But then you saw this cool hand-made artisan shop, and this beautiful public art display, and-

Before you knew it, you strayed way off your original starting point, walking through unknown streets and exploring your new surroundings

Had it been just you walking around, you would have been a bit worried by now, pulling out your phone to try and find your way back

But with Jongho, you knew you had nothing to be concerned about

He just held your hand and pulled you along, a small smile never leaving his lips as he did so

And really, this did help you relax and allow yourself to roam freely

Until you noticed the sullen, grey sky looming above you, warning the two of you that the weather wouldn’t be staying nice for much longer

You told Jongho right away, making him reluctantly agree with you to call it a day just to be safe

But not even a few minutes later, rain started falling from the sky, growing in intensity with every street you passed

This alone would have been doable, but once the freezing wind picked up as well, you were starting to question your life decisions

Noticing your wet shirt, Jongho offered you his jacket to warm yourself up, but you quickly refused, not wanting him to get sick

But Jongho obviously didn’t want that for you either

And so, after a second failed attempt at convincing you to just take the jacket because he’d rather catch a cold himself than have you suffer, he thought of a different plan

Before you knew it, you were being pulled into the nearest café, a small bell chiming above your head as you entered

You tried to protest, but Jongho just gently shushed you, tugging you with him to a cozy table tucked in a far-away corner

There, he helped you get seated before taking off his jacket and sitting down next to you

“Jongho, we really don’t have to stay here, we’re not that far from-” “Of course we’re staying. I’m freezing cold and I was wearing more layers than you. No way I'm letting you out there before the rain stops,” he quickly retorted before reaching for the menu on the table

“But,” you tried again, nervously biting on your lip as you continued, “I didn’t even bring any money, I didn’t expect us to order anything today…”

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed, silently scolding yourself for leaving your purse at home

The entire day was going great, but now you were going to ruin it with a small, stupid mistake

You wanted to apologize, to try and maybe save this situation somehow, but then…

???

Before you could say anything, you felt Jongho’s lips on yours, effectively shutting you up

Instinctively, you closed your eyes, resting a hand on his thigh for support as you leaned in for more

Shortly after, Jongho pulled away, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear

“And who said I’d let you pay?” He retorted with a smile, lowering his hand to cup your cheek, “I chose to bring us here so it’s my treat. All you need to do is warm yourself back up and stop worrying.”

And with that (and a light blush blooming on his face), he turned back to the menu, skimming the drinks to find something for the two of you while you still sat there, shocked

Needless to say, thanks to Jongho, you did feel a lot warmer already.

Thank you so much for reading! And remember, feedback is always appreciated!! <3

[alisonwritesimagines]

And Your Eyes Look Like Comin' Home ~LA!Mihawk Imagine~

Summary: Mihawk has to go back to sea to both yours and his dismay.

Author’s Note: The next post will be about Shanks and reader meeting!

Based in my Enchanted series

Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: slight angst, but mostly fluff

Side Note: This is a secondary blog. If you comment a question down below, I will not answer since this is not the main blog. Please send the question to my inbox if you want a response back!

Do not repost this anywhere!

It became almost like clockwork. During the week, you’d teach at the school, Mihawk will walk you home, and you two will have dinner together. And on the weekends, you would sell what you had in your garden before enjoying the day around the village and waters with Mihawk before going back home.

It was a nice routine between the two of you.

But Mihawk needed to go back to sea and he didn’t want to leave you. He had grown fond of you during his time here. But he needed to take care of business. After all, he was a pirate warlord of the sea.

“I need to head out to sea again,” Mihawk tells you one night at dinner. No sugar coating. No leading it on, just the straight honest truth so you wouldn’t have time to process it.

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. When do you leave?” You asked disappointingly. As much as you didn’t want to admit, you wanted him to stay.

“Tomorrow morning.”

“You should take some food with you before you go,” you tell him.

“I’ll be okay.”

“I insist.”

“Very well.”

The next morning, you stood by the dock to say goodbye to him. You gave him a basket of the food you grew in your garden along with some extra stuff that Mihawk had bought for the two of you.

“So I guess this is farewell?” You asked him. You hated that you were sad about saying bye to him.

“For now. I will be back in a month or two at most,” he tells you.

“To finish me off and claim your berry?” You joked. You came to closure that Mihawk had no intentions of killing you anymore ever since he decided to stay.

“No. To come see you again,” Mihawk said before sailing off. You shook your head at him, not believing his words before walking back to your home.

You had gotten some letters from Luffy during the time to keep you company. He wrote to you about his time at sea and how he has a crew who he’d love for you to meet. But reading his letters made you sad, missing him even more.

Every day for the next two months felt boring after Mihawk left. You knew it was a bad idea to keep falling for pirate men but you couldn’t help it. You wanted them to stay but you knew that they also belonged to the sea.

-

You heard a knock on your door which scared you for a moment. You weren’t expecting anyone especially not at night. You took a peak from the peep hole before opening the door quickly when you saw who it was.

“Brought you some new seeds from some other islands for you to grow in your garden,” Mihawk tells you as he held up your basket. You saw two bottles of red wine in the basket along with some other goodies besides the seeds (which were organized nicely).

“I’m guessing you’re staying for dinner?” You asked with a small smile. Your heart was racing from seeing Mihawk in front of you again.

“If you’d have me,” Mihawk said. You nodded before letting him inside your house.

“Not gonna lie. I kinda missed you,” you chuckled.

“What a coincidence, I missed you too,” Mihawk says with a soft smile. You smiled up at him before grabbing him a plate for dinner.

-

After dinner, you and Mihawk were drinking a glass of wine while he told you what he did while he was out in sea.

“I got you this as well,” Mihawk said as he gave you a large box with a bow wrapped around to keep it shut. You gave him a side look before taking the gift and carefully undoing the bow.

Inside the box was a beautiful dress. Your eyes widen as you looked up at Mihawk.

“What? I can’t accept this. Mihawk, this is too much,” you tell him as you tried to give him back the dress.

“I insist. It’s yours,” Mihawk tells you as he pushed your hands away gently. You admired the dress in your hands before looking back up at Mihawk.

“Thank you,” you say before kissing his cheek.

“I think we had enough to drink. Let’s get you to bed shall we?”

“You know, you can stay here if you like. I have an extra bed in the next room so you don’t need to stay on your ship.”

“If you’re okay with it.”

“Yeah.”

“Then I shall stay. I’ll be here when you wake up,” Mihawk tells you. You nodded before taking the dress in your hands to take with you to your room.

“Goodnight, Mihawk.”

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

You went into your room and closed the door behind you. You admired the dress as you held it up to your body, imagining yourself in it. It wasn’t too fancy and more of a casual dress but it was still beautiful. When was the last time you got to treat yourself with something so beautiful?

The next morning, you put on the new dress before walking out of your room. You saw Mihawk in the kitchen, getting breakfast started.

“I could’ve cooked,” you told him. Mihawk turned around to look at you.

“You look beautiful."

"Thank you," you smile as you got closer.

"Does the dress fit nicely?”

“It does! I’m still in shock about you getting a dress this nice for me,” you chuckle to yourself.

“And why’s that?”

“I just never thought to myself that I deserve something this nice,” you tell him.

"I think you do deserve something as nicely as a dress," Mihawk tells you.

"Thanks. I feel like I need to be careful with this dress. I don't want to get it ruined."

"I can always get you more dresses if you like."

"You don't have to do that."

"I insist."

--

The next time Mihawk went to sea again, you were upset once more. You didn't want him to leave but you knew that he needed to be out at sea.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back again this time," Mihawk warned you.

"Just be careful. Okay?" You asked.

"Of course."

"Be safe," you tell him.

"I'll be back again," Mihawk said before sailing off once more.

The next time Mihawk came back, he had another dress wrapped up for you.

"I feel bad now. I don't have much to give to you," you tell him.

"You letting me into your home is more than enough."

"Where are you from though, Mihawk?"

"Kuraigana Island."

"You're a long way from home," you pointed out.

"Maybe. But I'm fine with being away for the time being," Mihawk said.

"Maybe one day I can visit Kuraigana Island?" You suggest.

"I'd like for you to visit whenever you can," Mihawk says. You smiled a little before getting dinner ready.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Black Wedding: The True Vow For A Jet-Black Bride - Jude Jazza

This is a repost. Due to the original being deleted, CGs will not be uploaded per my announcement. This is a fan translation only, so please expect grammatical errors and lack of nuance. While I appreciate your support and welcome re-blogs, please do not repost my translations elsewhere. Thank you for you support! ☾.

Jude: ….A woman with bad taste.

Flash of light

As I was taking deep breaths, I suddenly remembered the dream I had this morning.

(I dreamed that someone with a grudge against Jude came to my wedding….)

It seemed terribly realistic because he was always incurring grudges wherever he went.

(The only reason I think it might really happen is because of this situation….)

Standing in the deserted hallway, I exhale again and remember how it all began.

It was only a week ago that he suddenly decided to hold a wedding ceremony.

Flashback -

Jude: Oi, We’re gettin’ hitched.

Kate: What?

Jude: A weddin’. Want one dontcha.

Kate: We’re having……a wedding?!

I can’t help but raise my voice in at the unexpected statement.

(I had always dreamed of a wedding, but I thought Jude wouldn’t like it.)

Jude: What, don’t want it?

Kate: …….If I could, I would like to.

He raised his finger as he spoke.

Jude: In a week, no attendees, ‘n I bought a few dresses, so pick whatever ya like.

Kate: …..In a week?!

Flashback Ends -

(I know it’s nighttime and he said no attendees, but Crown wasn’t even present…..)

(I wonder why he suddenly said he was going to have a ceremony.)

I open the heavy door with my hands.

Kate: Ah…..

Through the veil I see him in an unusual outfit.

Jude’s eyes widened when he saw me.

Jude: Suits ya.

He takes my hand and the corners of his mouth soften slightly.

Kate: Um, Jude…..you look good too.

Old Pastor: Then we will begin the ceremony.

As the pastor was speaking, Jude muttered under his breath.

Jude: You’re goin’ to hell, too.

I was elated to see the somewhat complicated expression on his face.

Kate: Bring it on.

Jude: …..Ha.

Old Pastor: Now let’s exchange the rings…

I feel a sense of tension as I look at two boxes held out in front of me.

(As it goes, I put the ring onto Jude’s finger first…..)

The shiny silver was small but had a strong presence, and seemed to speak to the weight of the promise.

Jude: What a nervous look. Ya scared now?

Kate: You’re wrong! It just, feels very heavy and….

With trembling fingertips, I put the vow on his left ring finger, and for some reason Ellis appeared….

Kate: Huh?

Jude: Enough, just take him with ya.

Ellis: Kate, your dress is lovely. I was just telling everyone how nice it looks on you.

Jude: ….Don’t say anythin' unnecessary ‘n just go.

He walked out of the church with the pastor, who was confused as to what was happening.

Kate: Is everyone…..from Crown here!?

I instinctively grabbed him by the arm, and he gave me a nasty look.

Jude: …..They’re guardin' the venue.

Kate: Why is there security at the venue?

Suddenly remembering this morning’s dream, I choked on my words.

(Maybe they’re standing guard to ensure no one tries to attack Jude?)

Jude: ……Heard ya told Ellis ya wanted a weddin’ ceremony.

Kate: How did you know that….

I didn’t think that my honest feelings I’d blurted out would reach him.

Jude: Seems like ya didn’t say anything ‘bout it ‘cuz you thought I wasn’t interested, but that doesn’t mean I’m not interested.

Jude: I just didn’t do it ‘cuz I knew those idiots would sniff out the ceremony and cause trouble.

Kate: …..My wish, you made it come true.

He burst out laughing, took a piece of paper from his pocket and placed it on the altar.

Jude: I’m sure ya understand, this kind of thing happens everyday.

Jude: I can’t have a normal life, and I can’t have the married life you’re thinkin’ of.

Jude: If ya wanna turn back - do it now.

On the altar, was an open box and a quill.

— And one contract.

Jude: If the pastor was here then we couldn’t do this.

Kate: 1) I don’t object to this marriage. 2) Infidelity is strictly forbidden. 3) The transfer of money…

Kate: Did you make this, Jude?

Jude: Got complaints?

Kate: It’s not like that…..

(A contract for an occasion like this is so typical of you, Jude.)

I already know that he will not break his promise.

(And how much this marriage means to Jude.)

He was probably the person who tried to bring me back to my normal world the most when I came to Crown.

(He’s got a foul mouth, but he’s kind and compassionate…….)

(That’s the kind of person I fell in love with.)

He was taken aback when I signed it so easily.

Jude: …..Don’tcha want time to think about it’?

Kate: No. Isn’t this for you Jude?

Jude: ….hopeless.

The signed contract was placed from the altar into his pocket.

Jude: It’s lifetime employment.

Jude: Even if you cry or runaway, I’ll never let you go.

What awaits us ahead will be thorny, the destination to the deepest hell.

(But you’d laugh if I told you that my joy outweighed that.)

Kate: Even if hell awaits me, I won’t run away.

Kate: Even if I go to the end of the sky……as long as you’re there, that’s all I need.

He bit my finger sweetly and laughed as my nose grew stuffy and I felt like I was about to cry.

Kate: What are you doing….?

His expression was somewhat tender, and tears of joy flowed from my eyes.

Jude: Whatta ya mean, if ya look you’ll see. I put a curse on your ring finger.

Jude: Ha, whatcha cry even when you’re happy? I learned somethin’ good.

When the veil was lifted and I closed my eyes to his approaching lips, I thought I heard gentle laughter and tears started flowing again.

I’m sure that when the last day of my life comes, I will be happy that the curse on my ring finger was not broken.

[Master List] Dividers: @.natimiles

[yatagarasuhonyaku]

The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 1

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.

Blog version

For the Prologue, you can find it HERE

Previously: Prologue

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 1)

“Excuse me!” A high-pitched voice reverberated through the dirt floor.

I took a look outside. A tiny shadow was just behind the open shoji door, obscured by the sunlight at his back.

“Oh, hey, what brings you here?”

The boy, who was probably around seven years old, wasn’t anyone I knew. Could he have gotten lost? I wondered. However, as I tried to approach him, the boy cast his eyes down and tightened his grasp on the sleeve of his kimono.

“Well, eh, well, Mister Upper Quarters…”

“I’m from the upper quarters, yes, what do you need?”

My big size tended to scare little children, so standing up in front of him was out of the question. I quickly knelt down, crouching until I reached his eye level. Meanwhile, the boy seemed to have finally found his resolve and raised his head.

“You see, Mister, we actually have a package for you. But nobody is home right now so… could you wait here instead?”

Huh, his parents probably sent him here, then. And what a cute kid he was, so desperate to repeat the message properly.

“I don’t mind. So, you’re here for an errand, right? Where did you come from?”  I asked.

It was at that moment that the boy finally seemed to realize I wasn’t going to eat him alive. His body visibly relaxed.

“The lower quarters.”

“Oh, so you’re that couple’s son! You must be very brave to come here all alone from so far away.”

The lower quarters was a big, old house close to the old commercial road(1). It was, in fact, quite the walk to get there. The road was just one straight line, yes, but we had barely any contact. It truly wasn’t a distance a young child could easily cross on their own.

“I flew about half the way here!”

“Oh, that’s impressive! So you can fly already.”

“Just a bit.”

“And that’s still amazing. I’m Shigemaru, what’s your name?”

“I’m Eita.” 

My conversation with the boy was soon interrupted by the sound of loud footsteps. My younger brothers had just returned, running at full speed.

“Shige(2), is that a guest?”

“Oooh, who are you?”

All being similar ages, it took no time for the kids to befriend one another. They spent the entire time until Eita’s family arrived playing without a break. From tag to spinning top, they busied themselves with any and all kinds of games.

When the time came, it was obvious the poor kid didn’t want to go back home. He had too much fun here, it seemed. So, as we were saying our farewells, I had an idea: I decided to give him a little present, a newly made spinning top.

“Ah, that must be your best one yet! It looks so much better!”

“That’s so cool! Shige makes the best tops, so you better treat it well!”

“...... Is it for me?” Eita’s eyes sparkled. “Really? Can I have it?” 

He was oh-so-visibly hesitating. How nice of him, he was nothing like my brothers or the other village brats. I was bursting into laughter before even realizing it.

“Why so timid? Eita, you did amazing today even though it was your first time playing with these. So, take this and practice for the next time you come over. How about that?”

“Next time…?” Eita whispered.

My brothers immediately took it upon themselves to start a ruckus.

“Yes, of course! Nothing stops you from coming back if you want to, right?”

“Let’s play again! This doesn’t have to be the last time.”

“And make sure to bring the top with you next time. That way we can have a match!”

Eita’s lips curved into a big happy smile. He nodded enthusiastically.

“See you! Come over to play again.”

“You better not fail us!”

“I won’t, see you!”

I watched as, under the sinking sun, his tiny frame became smaller and smaller on his way home. Again and again, he kept on turning back to look at us.

That day was the first and the last time I ever got to see Eita.

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

It was a fresh and invigorating morning. The blue sky was that particularly soft shade unique to spring. No better day to take on a new step in life, he thought to himself. The gentle, bright sunlight poured down and the blooming cherry blossoms that stretched under him gleamed. To him, they looked like drifting white clouds. 

As he flew through, enjoying the chance to view the flowers from high up in the sky, he started to see figures slowly walking up a slope. He also started to notice horse riders appearing from all over. Everyone was headed in the same direction: a number of temple buildings lined up halfway up the side of the mountain. The walls surrounding them were huge, their appearance imposing enough to subdue any would-be-intruders.

In front of it all there was a plaza, which stood right before what one could surmise was the main entrance. Some horses had even landed there already, he noticed. 

——That had to be it.

Shigemaru turned beak first towards the plaza, gliding down as he grasped the very air with his wings. Then, just as he reached the ground, he applied force to his entire body. In a mere instant, his form went from that of a massive raven to that of a human. Dust flew around flung by his wings, which quickly turned into impressive-looking tanned arms. His three legs, all ending in sharp claws, also shifted into a pair of legs that were just as imposing. He flexed, as if making sure everything was in order with his muscular body, and took the wrapping cloth bag hanging from his mouth.

Shigemaru raised his head in satisfaction and found himself face-to-face with a group of boys, all shocked by the giant who had just come down from the sky. His fellow new trainees, he surmised. They were the people he would sleep and eat with for the following three years.

But, was there something they wanted to say? He tilted his head in a wordless question. However, the boys, who had finally come back to themselves, ignored it and looked away instead, setting off towards the entrance. Across the door, multiple long tables were placed all over. From the looks of it, they were doing the new trainees’ reception there. A group of adults, most likely administrative officers, were taking in the boys as they arrived.

“Your letter of recommendation?” one of them said to him as he approached.

They didn’t even give him a chance to speak first.

“Here.”

“Name and place of origin?”

“Shigemaru of Shimaki.”

“A recommendation letter from the Headmaster and the Township Lord. All in order.” The administrative officer confirmed the contents of the letter and scribbled something down in a form. “Then, please, first head to the lodging houses to your new personal room. There should be a senior waiting there to guide you, just follow his instructions.”

The officer offered him a paper that said ‘second building, tenth room’. The moment Shigemaru tried to pick it up, however, the man gave him a wry smile instead.

“...... Still, you got some guts to come up to the entrance in bird shape,” the officer said, surprise in his voice.

Shigemaru gave him a blank look.

“Did I do anything wrong?”

“Oh, not particularly. It’s not like there’s any rule about it, but the Court Ravens will make fun of you, you know?” the officer warned him in a whisper and, finally, let him pick up the paper. “You’re from a rural area so you may not realize it yet, but central nobles are all like that. If you’re aware of what you’re doing, I won’t stop you. Just be careful.”

Shigemaru didn’t really get what he had to be careful about exactly, but he could at least tell the man was talking out of concern for his well-being. So, a sincere show of gratitude later, Shigemaru took off in the direction of his assigned lodgings.

Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t help but to notice that the other boys who were, just like him, carrying their luggage towards their rooms were all dressed in colorful clothes. Yatagarasu like Shigemaru and the others could alternate between two forms, bird and human, but to do so they had to weave a feather robe, black clothes made from part of their bodies. Once generated, which required a conscious effort on their part, it would automatically shift into their feathers when they transformed.

Kimono made of silk and hemp, however, only got in the way when shifting.

It wasn’t rare for people to spend their entire lives in their feather robe, at least for those who struggled with money. However, and rather unsurprisingly, it seemed such people were scarce among the Unbending Reed Monastery’s young trainees. In short, he was already sticking out and he had only just arrived. 

Shigemaru found himself standing there, scratching his head, when he caught sight of another person with the same all-black look in that expanding sea of blues and browns. There was no mistaking it, right over there was another newcomer wearing a feather robe.

Shigemaru immediately ran towards him and enthusiastically patted the boy’s back.

“Hey! You must be from the countryside, just like me, right?”

His fellow trainee, who almost tripped from the sheer force of the impact, somehow managed to bounce back and turn around to look at him. He was quite tiny for someone his age. The boy stood there looking at Shigemaru, mouth open and dumbfounded, perhaps taken aback by his large frame. He wasn’t only small, his features too were still soft and childlike.

“Ah, I know I may not look like it, but I’m also a newcomer. I’m from the Northern Region as well, so to be honest I don’t have any idea of how things work here in the Center. Let’s get along, fellow country bumpkin.”

The boy kept staring at him for a while, before finally breaking into a smile.

“What are the chances? I’m also from the North!”

“Really? I’m from Shimaki.”

“Taruhi. I guess that makes us neighbors,” the boy said in a polite tone.

He introduced himself as Yukiya. He seemed like a nice person, Shigemaru thought to himself. Especially with that gentle look of his.

To top it all off, Shigemaru got a look at Yukiya’s paper on their way to the lodging houses. To his surprise, it turned out they were to share a room. Both were in the tenth room in the second building.

“Oh, we are in the same room as well.”

“Now that’s just fate, isn’t it? Nice to meet you then, here’s hoping we get along,” Yukiya bowed his head.

“I hope so too!”

From there on, they talked a bit about themselves as they moved across the different facilities. After a short walk, they finally reached the dormitory rooms. They both went on to check the door signs, but Shigemaru was the one to call Yukiya over. He had found the room, and it turned out their assigned senior was even someone he already knew. Shigemaru truly felt lucky that day.

Their mentor-to-be, Ichiryuu, was what one would call the stereotypical modern young man. Both for better and for worse.

He used to have quite the rebellious side. This, on top of his eccentric taste in clothes, made the Township citizens worry quite a bit about him back in the day. However, it seemed like his time at the Monastery had done him a lot of good and turned him into a splendid trainee. He had quite the foul mouth and a mean look in his eyes, but Shigemaru knew well that there was an upright character hidden underneath.

At the very least, and from the looks of it, Shigemaru wouldn’t have to worry much about roommate problems for the following year. He let out a quiet sigh of relief.

However, upon seeing Yukiya, Ichiryuu immediately turned white as a sheet.

“W-What are you doing here!? You said there was no way you would come to the Monastery, didn’t you?” he shrieked.

“Oh, about that, you see, the circumstances have changed a lot,” Yukiya gave him a pained smile. His attitude was still impeccably polite. 

In the meantime, Shigemaru just stood there, giving alternating glances to his polar opposite roommates. Finally, he tilted his head.

“Wait, did something happen between you two?”

“Oh no, don’t worry,” Yukiya replied with a smile before Ichiryuu—whose face was contorted beyond belief—could say anything. No space was left for arguments. “We are childhood friends, after all. Everyone gets into one or two silly childish fights in their lives. But we aren’t kids anymore, so there’s no reason to hold a grudge, right?”

At Yukiya’s question, Ichiryuu froze for a second.

“Y-yes, of course. Who would hold a grudge over something that happened so long ago! Let the past be the past,” Ichiryuu agreed enthusiastically.

Yukiya’s smile, on the other hand, slowly deepened. “That said, I’ll make sure to not overstep just because of our past together. Ichiryuu, I trust you to guide us well as our senior.”

Yukiya bowed respectfully, and Ichiryuu’s face twisted once more as if he had just seen the world end.

“...... Yes, fine with me… Nice to meet you again…”

After a long period of silence, Ichiryuu finally opened his mouth again. His eyes looked dead—like those of a fish stuck on land—for some strange reason. For a moment there, it had looked as if his soul was going to leave his body. It worried Shigemaru quite a bit, but, by the time they left the dormitory hall for a tour around the Monastery, it seemed like Ichiryuu had finally returned to his usual self.

“We wake up as the sun rises,” Ichiryuu explained, his tone oddly desperate. He covered the details of Monastery life as they walked through the premises. “When to wake up, plus the start and end of the lessons, is all indicated by the ring of the bell tower up there. You won’t have to worry about missing meals as long as you pay attention. Be careful with the ‘ambushes’, however.”

“‘Ambushes’?”

“They simulate emergencies, so they happen without any prior notice. The alarm bell could sound at any time, even during lessons or during sleep. When that happens, we are supposed to gather at the plaza in front of the grand lecture hall. You should bring your Ornamented Blade(3) in hand, nothing else.”

“Ornamented… Blade? What’s that?”

“This.”

With the swooshing sound of the attached crimson strap being unfastened, Ichiryuu took off the tachi on his hip and showed it to them. Upon further examination, it was much lighter than it looked. The scabbard was covered in black lacquer and the ornamentation was simple but exquisite.

“It may look like the real thing, but it’s just a very well-made bamboo sword. They’ll give you one soon, it’s what identifies us as Monastery trainees. As for the decorative jewels, Evergreens have black ones, and white is for Saplings. For your generation, I think it’s supposed to be green. You should keep it with you at all times and, no matter what, never lose it.”

It was part of their duties as trainees to return their Ornamented Blade to the Monastery when they left. Hence why, if anyone lost it, they were summarily kicked out no matter the circumstances. “If you manage to overcome the Trial of Storm and are chosen for the Yamauchi Guard, however, you’ll be given the real blade in exchange.” 

After they thanked him, Ichiryuu returned the Blade to its original spot with practiced ease. “Once you wake up, there’s always morning training. We eat after that. Both breakfast and lunch are made for us, so you just have to go and pick up a tray but, once you’re done, you’ll have to clean it yourself. Seeds stay behind afterwards to arrange the desks for their own lectures.”

Lectures took up most if not all morning classes. After lunch, however, it was all practical courses. “As for the dojo, whoever uses them last has to clean them up. Dinner is prepared in turns by the different dormitory halls. Turn assignments are hung at the dining hall’s entrance at the start of every month, so make sure to check them out.”

Unless there was some sort of night training session, which wasn’t common, there were no classes after dinner. Did that mean there was nothing to do, then? To that question, the answer was no.

“You’ll be getting plenty of homework. Until you get used to it, expect to be very busy keeping up with lectures. You may even need to skip sleep. There are study groups, however, and some seniors organize training sessions on weapons that aren’t covered by our classes. You can join those once you grow comfortable with the workload.”

During the tour, Ichiryuu also showed them to the biggest hall in the Monastery. Deep in the massive room with wooden flooring, there was a huge altar, hidden away by bamboo curtains. Yamagami, the Mountain God of Yamauchi, was lavishly enshrined there. The ceiling, supported by endless pillars, was so tall that it was a struggle to look up to it. From there hung a sublime canopy of gold.

Initially, the Unbending Reed Monastery was a temple dedicated to Yamagami. It was the reason behind the luxury of its facilities and why its grounds were vast enough to include a swimming pond and even a grove of trees the trainees used for practical training. 

Their tour went on until dusk, as Shigemaru and Yukiya followed Ichiryuu through the enormous premises. Once it was time, however, they headed straight to the dining hall, where most trainees were already gathered.

Huge containers full of warm rice and pots filled to the brim with steamed vegetables and chicken dumplings awaited them in a corner of the room. Following Ichiryuu’s instructions, Shigemaru and Yukiya each took a set of trays(4) and utensils from the piles lying alongside the wall and proceeded to fill them with as much food as they could actually eat.

The three of them settled down in a circle in an empty spot among the other chattering trainees. They clapped their hands, said their blessings, and finally started to eat.

The meat dumplings were so juicy they leaked when one bit into them. The oily liquid had a golden tint and tasted like glory, with a flavor only achievable by boiling in large quantities. It was delicious, and Shigemaru simply couldn’t have enough of it: he had flown the entire way to the Monastery, after all. He devoured all his food with great enthusiasm, aided as he was by his empty stomach.

It all happened once they were putting aside their trays after dinner.

A group of seniors, most likely Evergreens given their apparent age, suddenly came in with a bunch of packages in hand. From them came the unmistakable, delicious aroma of sake. Apparently, it was tradition to hold a welcome party for the newcomers and so they had taken it upon themselves to go out to buy the alcohol and appetizers.

The seniors took care of all the preparations, setting up the entire party and refusing any help from some offering newcomers. The Evergreens busied themselves with hearing out some very nervous new arrivals as the Saplings efficiently moved around the room and made sure to distribute everything.

Finally, once everyone had a cup of sake in their hands, one of the Evergreens stood up to talk, aided by a push on the back from a friend. “To all newcomers, congratulations on joining the Monastery. We welcome you! There won’t be any time for fun from tomorrow onwards, so it’s our wish for you to enjoy the atmosphere at least for today.”

“However, you’ll have an awful time tomorrow if you get actually drunk! Be careful if you aren’t used to it.”

“There’s no way you can get drunk from this little.”

“Now, now. Don’t be spoilsports, let them drink all they can!”

Despite the constant interruptions from the sitting Evergreens’ banter, a toast followed soon after and, at last, everyone got to enjoy their drinks. Shigemaru, who had promptly finished his cup in one go, busied himself with chatting with his fellow newcomers and the seniors in his immediate area.

However, just a while later, the newcomers’ self-introductions started in earnest.

By that point, most were sober or slightly drunk at most, but a few were already wasted: their faces were completely red and they were incapable of properly articulating anything. The mood was quite good thanks to the sake, so laughter often found itself mixed in between the newcomers’ attempts to share their names, places of origin and reasons for joining the Monastery.

As soon as they were done, they returned to their seats with a bow and, immediately after, another newcomer close by would stand up to take their place.

“I’ve been assigned to the tenth room, second building. I’m Yukiya and I’m from Taruhi in the North.” Finally, Yukiya’s turn came. The boy, who had been sitting beside Shigemaru until that point, spoke without any hesitation. “My uncle used to be part of the Yamauchi Guard, so I’ve heard all about how hard the training here is ever since I was a little kid. I don’t know whether I'll be able to keep up, but I’ll do my best. Pleased to meet you all.”

As far as self-introductions went, Yukiya’s truly was the very epitome of average and unremarkable. An unenthusiastic applause followed it, after which Yukiya tried to sit back down with him. But, at that moment, someone else raised their voice. 

“Wait! What about your reasons for joining the Monastery?” the boy outright protested, oddly enough.

The one who spoke out was a boy with reddish brown hair, and Shigemaru couldn’t help but gasp when he saw his face. He was incredibly handsome, with the kind of looks you rarely if ever saw back in the countryside. To Shigemaru, it was like having the chance to admire some rare unusual creature in the wild.

Yukiya, however, faced the other boy without giving any hint of being surprised or impressed at all.

“Well, I don’t really have a reason worth mentioning, you see. My only desire is to become a splendid Guard and work to protect Yamauchi.”

“To protect Yamauchi? Is that truly all there’s to it?” the boy asked once again, plain incredulity painted all over his stunning face.

Seemingly unbothered by the strange demands, Yukiya visibly blinked.

“...... Excuse me, may I know who you are?”

“My name is Akeru. I’m Akeru of the Western House.”

The instant the red-haired boy introduced himself, gasps of surprise filled the dining hall in what quickly developed into a ruckus. So that’s him! they whispered to each other. Even Shigemaru, an authentic country bumpkin, knew just how powerful and important the Western House was even within the nobility.

In practice, the lands of Yamauchi were governed by the Four Houses, the highest ranking of the noble families. The Eastern, Southern, Western and Northern Houses each had control over the territory in their respective cardinal direction. They were said to descend from the First Golden Raven’s four children. Any member of the aristocracy, and this included the Center nobles, who held power in the Imperial Court had sworn allegiance to one of them. There were virtually no exceptions to this rule.

Akeru, as a scion of the Western House, one of these powerful families, therefore held one of the highest ranks among any young boy in the entire country.

“Oooh! So you are the oh-so-famous favorite of His Highness Wakamiya,” someone else interrupted in a mocking tone.

Shigemaru turned his head in the voice’s direction. There was a senior reclining arrogantly, surrounded by his followers. Despite being a Sapling, he had remained seated the entire time, even as others worked tirelessly to organize the party. 

He was not Akeru, that much was certain, but he still had a beautiful face. His features were noble, unified by a nicely-sculpted hooked nose. His shoulders were wide and he was noticeably taller than his fellow Saplings, with unusually long arms and legs. Despite his above average looks, in his eyes was blatant contempt towards others, which made him the kind of man that most don’t want to get involved with.

“And you are?” a perplexed Akeru asked.

The senior’s eyes glistened in defiance. “Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana.”

In response, Akeru let out a small ‘oh’, as if that had just explained it all. His eyes turned to pierce back at Kimichika. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but here I’m your senior. So you better be careful when opening your mouth.” Kimichika stood up, all puffed up, and returned Akeru’s gaze with arrogance. “I cannot care less whether you were Wakamiya’s close aide or whatever, and it doesn’t even matter here. You’ll have a bad time if you keep up with the big attitude.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Oh, if that’s how you want to take it, for sure. I mean, Wakamiya? Imagine being scared of that simpleton.”

“You can say whatever you want about me, but I won’t tolerate any insult to His Highness,” Akeru frowned and, all of a sudden, turned towards Yukiya. “What are you just standing there for? Shouldn’t you be saying something too, Lord Yukiya?”

Yukiya, who had so far been watching them with concern on his face, was rather confused. He obviously didn’t expect to be brought into the conversation. “Erhm, excuse me? I don’t really get what this entire conversation is all about, you see, so it’s not like I have much to say…”

His floundering, however, did little else than deepen Akeru’s frown. 

“....... You realize he’s insulting His Highness Wakamiya, right?”

Yukiya remained silent, yet something about him changed the very moment he heard that question. Deep annoyance burned deep within his eyes. He had an answer, Shigemaru realized, but that didn’t mean he wanted to give it. 

And so, Shigemaru couldn’t bring himself to stay out of the conversation any longer.

“Well, no matter how much you ask, people like us won’t have much to say about that.”

In a second, the entire room turned to stare daggers at Shigemaru. Why are you opening your damn beak, you ignorant fool?

“Nice to meet you, my name is Shigemaru. I share rooms with Yukiya and, like him as well, I’m from the Northern Region,” Shigemaru stood up and soon placed his hand on a shocked Yukiya’s shoulder. “My turn wouldn’t come no matter how long I waited, so I’ll take it nevertheless. Much like my friend here, I came to the Monastery with the goal of protecting Yamauchi and, as someone with similar circumstances, I must say that answering Lord Akeru’s question is impossible.”

Shigemaru’s tone was joking, and Akeru was left at a loss. “Why?”

“I mean, it’s not like us country bumpkins have even had the chance to meet those in the Imperial Family. You can’t judge a Yatagarasu you haven’t even met, at least not from what others say about them.”

Akeru was speechless, and he wasn’t the only one. Kimichika too seemed to have been caught off-guard by Shigemaru’s carefreeness as he muttered., “And who do you think you’re going to swear fealty to when you graduate?”

“I don’t even have a way to know that, do I? That’s a problem I’ll face three years from now,” Shigemaru laughed nonchalantly. “And, before that, I have to work hard to become strong and skilled enough to even be chosen for the Guard. I’ve heard our destinations are chosen according to our results, so I don’t know who I’ll be serving among the Imperial Family. Not like I care about who or where I serve as long as I can work for Yamauchi.”

Shigemaru’s argument was truly the simplest thing ever, yet it silenced the entire hall for quite a long while. Finally, someone broke into long-held laughter, an Evergreen who had been limited to listening until then. Just like that, the tense mood dissolved into nothing.

“Now, now, he actually got a point there. I’m with Shigemaru!”

“Looks like this year we got a new fun guy!”

“Kimichika, go back to your seat. We got sake for once, let’s not ruin it,” another Evergreen soon intervened.

Kimichika, who had been looking at Shigemaru with venom in his eyes, reticently closed his mouth. Akeru too decided to back off. He was obviously displeased with how everything played out, and his followers were busy trying to appease him.

Once the self-introduction picked up again and everything was back to normal, Shigemaru sat back in his original spot.

“Thank you, Shige(5),” Yukiya whispered to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Shigemaru waved his hand as if it was nothing.

Finally getting to relax, he extended his hand to get himself a snack. However, right at that moment, Ichiryuu returned to their spot with a scowl.

“You two, come with me now.”

Immediately, Ichiryuu dragged them both out of the dining hall.

Their destination was, apparently, the Monastery’s bathhouse.

“Now this is the best!”

“It’s truly nice, isn’t it?”

It was, in fact, the biggest one Shigemaru had ever seen. Yukiya and he had finally gotten inside the bathtub, both relishing the chance to relax, when Ichiryuu brusquely opened the door from the washing area.

“Just how happy-go-lucky are you two!?” he yelled at them as he came in. “Why do you think I went through the trouble of dragging you two out of the party!? Because the Evergreens told me to!”

Ichiryuu kept on ranting, not even giving them a chance to answer. “They warned me: ‘make sure to teach them fast, before they end up starting something worse!’ That scared me shitless!” 

“Did we even have an option? I didn’t start it, you know, that young lord of the Western House came after me,” Yukiya protested, clearly fed up with the entire situation.

Ichiryuu quickly recoiled at that, switching targets. “What about you, Shigemaru!?” 

“Shige was just trying to help me. He knows nothing about Imperial Court politics, what other option did he have? Besides, I wonder: is it truly right for you to go and blame him for helping when you didn’t even try? Huh, Sapling Ichiryuu?” Yukiya attacked back, all prickliness.

Ichiryuu’s only answer was a pained groan. This was clearly escalating.

“..... Did I mess up anything?” Shigemaru asked meekly.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Despite the dark environment, he could still feel Yukiya softly laugh. “It’s all just worthless Imperial Court power struggles.”

Huh, thinking about it, why does Yukiya know so much about that sort of thing? Shigemaru wondered. Yukiya seemed to notice it.

“Well, you see, to be honest,” he explained to him as he scratched his head bashfully, “I didn't really explain myself properly before, but I’m, like Ichiryuu, the son of a Township Lord. Taruhi’s second son, to be more precise. On top of that, I was on Court service until not that long ago.”

“Oh, so that explains it!”

Yukiya’s demeanor was strangely sophisticated for someone from the countryside, so it all made sense to him. The feather robe may have initially misled Shigemaru, but Yukiya was still a nobleman. A rural one, but a noble nevertheless.

“Now, talking about that, you are probably way better suited than me to explain this entire mess to him. Will you?” Ichiryuu suggested.

“Fine then,” Yukiya repositioned to face Shigemaru, “Shige, do you know anything about the inheritance conflict from 10 years ago? The one to decide who would take the position of the Crown Prince: His Highness Wakamiya or his older brother—Lord Natsuka.”

Yukiya fully shifted into explanation mode. In answer, Shigemaru just shook his head.

“Just rumors, not any details.”

Until very recently, people in the Center fought over who should inherit the throne and become the next Golden Raven: the elder or the younger brother. That much he had heard about, as it was a Yamauchi-wide problem. That aside, he only knew that, at some point, they had settled on Wakamiya as the future Golden Raven.

“But, well, the rumors at least said that the imperial brothers really didn't get along…….”

“Oh, that's not true, actually. This may sound strange, I know, but their relationship is actually excellent. I would dare even say it’s the opposite: Lord Natsuka is a surprisingly dedicated and loving brother as far as I’ve seen.”

Just as surprising was Yukiya’s way of speaking, it was as if he knew them both personally. He went on to tell Shigemaru the actual reason the Court settled on Wakamiya as the Crown Prince, despite the Imperial Family upholding primogeniture: it was all Animiya's doing.

“For starters, the reason His Highness Wakamiya became the Crown Prince in the first place was because the imperial priests declared him a ‘True Golden Raven’.”

The Golden Ravens were the leaders of all Yatagarasu, and were further divided into ‘Acting’ and ‘True’ Golden Ravens. Within those two categories, ‘True Golden Ravens’ were said to be born rulers, possessing everything and anything they would ever need to govern Yamauchi. When one was born, he got to inherit the throne regardless of birth order or his mother’s station.

Only in the absence of one was the eldest brother to take over the position as a replacement. Those who ruled in their stead were therefore referred to as ‘Acting Golden Ravens’.

“We call both Golden Ravens, but you could say that the rightful ruler, the True Golden Raven, and his Acting replacements are entirely different figures. It was the priests who determined that His Highness Wakamiya was, in fact, a ‘True’ one.”

“Wait a moment,” Shigemaru said, hand on his forehead. “In short, that means the older brother gave up his position as Crown Prince to his younger brother because of his status as the ‘True’ Golden Raven, is that correct………?”

“Yes, exactly.”

According to Natsuka himself, to have a replacement was pointless when the real one existed. He was a just man and had never been the ambitious sort to begin with, so Natsuka had been perfectly content giving up the position to his brother once he knew he matched the legends.

However, not everyone was happy with his decision.

“Oomurasaki no Omae, the Empress, couldn't bring herself to accept that—she's Lord Natsuka's mother, you see. She's the legal wife and hails from the Southern House. Meanwhile, His Highness Wakamiya's mother was a concubine from the Western House.”

A long, long time had passed since the last time a ‘True Golden Raven’ had even been born, a fact that played a key part in the Southern House's adamant refusal to accept the situation. On the other hand, the Western House welcomed this development with open arms. Hence, the Imperial Court was divided into the Wakamiya Faction and the Animiya(6) Faction, even though it went against Natsuka’s own wishes.

“The South supports Animiya and the West, Wakamiya. This is why they are opposed to each other and, for some reason, it seems like their conflict is affecting even a place like the Unbending Reed Monastery. Did I get that right?”

Yukiya gave a pointed look to Ichiryuu, as if fishing for information.

“That’s right, yes,” a clearly exhausted Ichiryuu replied, “I think you have realized this much already, but Kimichika is a South-affiliated Court Raven.”

“And Akeru is a scion of the Western House, remember? So, Kimichika belongs to the Animiya Faction and Akeru to Wakamiya’s.”

“Argh, what an annoying mess!” Shigemaru exclaimed.

Maybe because of the sudden explanation, but he couldn't make any sense out of it. “So, let’s put it like this. There is a wife and her son, who is his father’s heir. Said father owns a lot of fields, but he cheated on his wife and secretly had a lover and yet another son somewhere else. This second son is truly gifted, however, so the legitimate heir wants to give up the fields to his brother. The wife absolutely refuses, and so her family and the lover’s family have somehow also gotten involved and it's all a complete mess. Did I get it right?”

For a second, Yukiya and Ichiryuu stood there in complete silence.

“That’s quite the way to put it…”

“It is, yes… but he is not wrong, really. So, using Shige's metaphor, Kimichika belongs to the wife's family, and Akeru to the lover's.”

“Good. I finally got it,” Shigemaru said.

“Now, whatever you do, avoid both of them as much as you can,” Ichiryuu insisted. “They’ll only give you trouble. To not approach what you can avoid is wisdom.”

“I have to agree. As long as they don't come after us, it's probably better to give them a wide berth,” Yukiya added.

“Well, now that this matter is resolved, I'm getting out of here. I can't believe you two are here like it’s nothing.” As Ichiryuu said that, he stood up with a stagger. It was only upon watching him go that Shigemaru realized that he himself was also entirely covered in sweat.

Refreshed after their bath, they all returned together to their shared room. In preparation for the following day, they started to set up the room as soon as they arrived. A worn-out screen, covered in repair marks, was soon placed in the center of the room, dividing it in two halves. The one further back was for Ichiryuu, while Shigemaru and Yukiya shared the half facing the entrance. Their futons, thin from much use, were all piled together in a corner. The three of them chatted as they arranged them.

After a while, the conversation turned back to their reasons to come to the Monastery.

“I also wanted to ask you about it, actually. Especially you, Yukiya,” Ichiryuu peeked through the screen. “I completely missed the chance to ask you earlier. You said that you didn’t want to ever come to the Monastery, didn’t you?”

Ichiryuu gave him a sour look as he said that. Shigemaru, surprised by the revelation, also turned to look at Yukiya, who shrugged bashfully.

“That’s true, yes. I once thought I would actually die if I ever joined the Monastery, and that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the training. I hated the idea so much, in fact, that I chose to go to the Court over the Monastery when that choice was forced upon me.”

“Then, why did you even come here?”

“I couldn't remain a spoiled child, not after last summer.”

‘Last summer’. Shigemaru and Ichiryuu both instantly straightened their faces.

“...... When the ‘Monkeys’ attacked,” Ichiryuu muttered.

Yukiya nodded, silent.

Unimaginable fear assailed all the Yatagarasu in Yamauchi that summer. The incident took place in small border settlements: Monkeys attacked and murdered all inhabitants. There were no survivors in any of them. At first, nobody knew why they did it or where they had come from. However, it soon became clear that their Yatagarasu victims were nothing more than food to their assailants. Those giant Monkeys had assaulted their villages to eat them. 

Legends said that Yamauchi was protected by a barrier created by Yamagami, the God of the Mountain. They had never before suffered any kind of outside attack because of it. These unprecedented events shook everyone in Yamauchi to their very core.

The Imperial Court frantically searched for the Monkeys’ invasion route. A while later, they found out about ‘passages’ in the barrier that had, most likely, allowed the Monkeys to enter Yamauchi. Once they successfully blocked them all, the Imperial Court released an official announcement declaring the problem solved: the Monkeys wouldn’t ever be capable of returning to Yamauchi.

“However, those are simply the central nobles’ vain, silly hopes,” Yukiya argued, not mincing any words in the process, “‘For now, we have closed every hole we have found, so it would be nice if the monkeys don't ever return’. That's all it amounts to. Apparently, their aim was to keep the population calm and avoid an even bigger upheaval, but that way you only get them to lower their guards and ruin their chances at self-defense. To declare everything solved haphazardly like that just hurts us in the end.”

Yukiya’s irritation was palpable as he spoke. He seemed to be extremely bright, which made for quite the contrast with the easygoing, head-empty attitude he had kept up until that moment. 

“Oh, I see now, so that's what you meant by ‘protecting Yamauchi’! You too came here to fight off the Monkeys, then.”

“Well, yes, that's the gist of it,” Yukiya answered Shigemaru before further adding., “We can't leave it all up to the Imperial Court, after all.”

As if he had just realized something, Yukiya then glanced at him. “Wait, ‘you too’...?”

“Yes. I came here for the same reason as you, really. I didn't really get to mention it earlier, but I was actually born and raised in Sazaki, Shimaki.”

“... Sazaki!” As expected of fellow Northerners, Yukiya and Ichiryuu’s reactions were striking.

“No way, by Sazaki, you mean that Sazaki, right? ——The one that the Monkeys attacked,” Ichiryuu whispered in horror.

Shigemaru nodded. Two villages were raided by the Monkeys: Sugou in Taruhi, and Sazaki in Shimaki. Compared to Sugou, where the entire settlement was annihilated, Sazaki had it slightly better: only one house, away from everyone else's, was affected.

Everyone focused on Sugou when the topic of the Monkeys’ victims came up, but what happened in Sazaki had been just as terrifying for the locals: they knew that, if things had played out ever so slightly differently, they could have been the Monkeys’ food instead.

“We called the place the Monkeys attacked the ‘lower quarters’.”

It was an old house and, from what he knew, originally the main building of an entirely different village. Once the old commercial route went out of use, however, their population quickly dwindled and, as time passed, only the so-called ‘lower quarters’ remained. They had recently become more or less self-sufficient, from what it seemed, so they didn't have that much contact with Sazaki’s other inhabitants.

“That summer, the Township Lord sent us a notice, asking us to confirm that everyone was safe in the area. I can hold my own in a battle, at least by countryside standards, so I was sent to check the situation there.”

What Shigemaru found in the lower quarters was a veritable bloodbath.

Everyone there had vanished. Endless amount of flies fluttered around as the stench of the horses’ rotting corpses, still trapped in the stables, filled the air.

The edges of the house’s hearth were dyed black. By what, he couldn't really tell at first glance. At least, until he found all those pearly white bones scattered all over the place. With them came the realization: those dark stains were what remained of a sea of blood.

He may not have been particularly close to them, but they weren’t strangers either.

However, at the moment, what had worried Shigemaru the most was the safety of that young boy he had just met the other day. He ran through the entire house, calling for him. Eita, where are you!? Then, in one corner of the house, he found it.

The wide wooden floor was covered in dark stains, as if ink had spilled all over the place. There, in the middle of all that blood, was one tiny, all-too-familiar spinning top.

——He wouldn’t ever forget what he felt that day.

Neither Yukiya nor Ichiryuu said anything. They must have noticed Shigemaru's odd silence, and didn’t press him for details. Finally, he sighed and gave them a bitter smile.

“So, well, that’s why I'm here.”

Shigemaru had been invited by Monastery associates over and over again, being asked if he wouldn't at least consider taking the entrance exams. He ignored them all, as he had never felt the need to do so. He truly believed that he could handle most anything all by himself. After witnessing the Monkeys’ massacre, however, he came to realize how truly naive he had been.

“So, you wanted to further improve your battle skills for self-defense, I take it?” Ichiryuu’s expression was severe, different from anything before. He seemed to realize how personal this was to Shigemaru.

“Not really,” Shigemaru denied. “No matter how much I train myself, it's not like I could do anything worth a damn if a large number of Monkeys were to ever attack. Besides, learning that these ‘Passages’ are in the Center made me realize something. That, if I truly wanted to protect what I love, I couldn't just stay there, swinging around some club in front of my house. To be honest, it's not like I even know right now what I can achieve as a Yamauchi Guard either.”

But, at the very least, it beat staying home practicing with sticks. He didn't want to ever be in the position of picking up a bloodied toy with his very own hands. Not again.

“I truly couldn't stand the idea of regretting it all later. If something like that were to ever happen again, to find myself thinking——‘I should have joined the Guard’; ‘if only I hadn't been self-complacent, maybe, maybe I could have done something’.”

The realization came to him at the very last moment, a few months from losing his chance forever. He found himself quite fortunate for that.

“Yes, I get exactly what you mean,” Yukiya muttered softly, and yet, for some reason, his expression was one of pure, undiluted joy. “I'm so glad we became friends, Shige. Let's become Guards together, no matter what.”

However, Shigemaru couldn't really share Yukiya's optimism.

“But,” he looked up at the ceiling, “honestly, I was in the very last place at the entrance exams for theory courses. Can someone like me even graduate?”

The moment Yukiya heard that, he burst out in merry laughter.

“Don’t worry, I'll help you out! Theory won’t be any problem.”

—————————————

Next: Shigemaru (Part 2)

1: The commercial roads are the main paths that connect the Center with the countryside. A lot of big settlements are built around them to provide for merchants. Sometime ago, the “old” ones were replaced with newly built ones that followed another route. The villages reliant on them struggled and became smaller and much more isolated.

2: Shigemaru’s little brothers call him 茂兄, or Shige-nii. Brother Shige, but said in a very affectionate way, essentially.

3: The original term for Ornamented Blade is 珂仗 (Kajou). It’s a wordplay on 儀仗 (Gijou), the word for ‘ceremonial weapon’. 珂 is a kanji for ‘jewel’ that doesn’t see that much modern use.

4: These trays are actually 食膳, four-legged trays that were used instead of tables in ancient East Asia. Dining tables weren’t in use back in the Heian era Yamauchi mostly resembles.

5: The specific way Yukiya calls Shigemaru is 茂さん, or Shige-san.

6: Much like Nazukihiko is referred to as Wakamiya (若宮, or ‘young imperial’), his siblings have similar titles. Natsuka’s is Animiya, 兄宮, or the ‘elder brother imperial’. For consistency sake, I’ll be keeping all -miya titles.

[maximumkillshot]

I Won't Lose You- ICLY 7.5

Warnings: Cheater POV, a lot of not nice things are said. Definitely something to think about if you are sensitive to that type of subject matter, cursing, some air of grand diosity,

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Characters: Chris, Seungmin

A/N: So a lot of people have been wondering what Chan has been thinking... Welp... You get what you wish for... even though it ain't pretty.  I wanted to punch him writing it. This is after Chris gets banned from the hospital room. Since it is following him and not the reader, I decided to give it a different name, with the annotation being 7.5. Happy anger management people!

ALL THE SKZ IRL ARE CINNAMON ROLLS THIS IS A FICTION- IT'S FAKE.

I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

BEFORE:

Han looked up at Bin, trying to will himself not to cry. The both of you are so sweet, so kind. He could see the weight on Bin’s shoulders, crushing him. He could see it in his head, Bin keeping everything bad from crashing on top of you, his arms outstretched, using his whole body as a shield. Han knew that if it meant keeping you safe, Bin would carry the world. That’s what separated Bin from Chris. 

Both may be fond of you. Only one has ever put your safety over everything. Only one ever made you feel heard and seen. Only one ever made you laugh until you cried. Only one would take off work to take care of you when you’re sick. Only one made you understand that there is no priority above you. Only one would calm you with just a touch. Only one truly loves you with their heart and soul. That “only one” was in the bed with you right now. 

Han watched, eventually just letting the tears fall as Bin held you saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry. I love you… I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”

That was the first time Changbin had ever let himself say it out loud, “I love you so much it hurts…I Can’t Lose You.”

NOW:

Chan’s POV:

I have never seen Y/N like that. A part of me wants to say that it was something that was a freak accident, that Soo and I were a freak accident. We weren’t. Y/N deserves to know that, to have it acknowledged. I want to scream that I regret it, that I want to take it all back, that I wanted to erase it all. That would be a lie.

You can’t regret something that you actually initiated. I don’t regret what I did. I wanted a release, I got a release. I wanted to feel exhilaration, I got it. What I am sorry for is getting caught. Of course I’d never say this out loud but, the truth is my marriage was a means to an end. She loves me, of course… and I love her… to an extent. I loved it when she would perk up when I came home, or be passed out on the couch, waiting for me to come home. In a lot of ways, Y/N is like a puppy. She would do all the tricks in the book to make me happy. If she was lucky, she’d get rewarded. 

 There is an even more fucked up part of me that is relieved that she knows. Sneaking around wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was making it look like I was with the boys when I wasn’t. Y/N is so close to the boys it was a pain in the ass, all it would’ve taken was one text and right there my cover would be blown. I know that I can come back from this, though. Soo never held a candle to my wife. I just told Soo whatever she wanted to hear. I made it worth it for her to do what she wanted… what we wanted, who am I kidding, I wanted it. 

Everything is still so raw, she’s not really going to leave. I know she told me when we started dating, but I know that I can prove myself to her. She is the type to really believe that everyone is good inherently. It was something that I used to every advantage, if I’m honest. I’m obviously better than Changbin. I make more, I am more level headed… obviously… I am willing to do whatever I need to make sure I get what I want. How could she want anyone else? That’s like trading in a top of the line Ferrari for a beat up 1999 Taurus. Plus, she always gives people second chances. This is all one giant hiccup.

While the rest of the boys and I filed into the elevator, I heard her voice. She was so scared, I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, it was so meek, fragile… weak. That’s really the only downside to her. She is weak. Her emotions get the better of her always. Given, what happened would make anyone go crazy, but at the end of the day, she can’t keep control over her emotions. She is the type of person to read a room and follow the tone of the room. She isn’t a trendsetter, a leader. The only reason why the boys are the way that they are is because she is hurt. Something about their “white knight” complexes. Honestly I could puke just thinking about it. While they were playing games, painting, or just practicing on vocal technique, I was ensuring their continued employment. That will never change about her though. She folds under pressure. Like a skeleton with no spine. Sometimes it was exhausting, others amusing; that’s the biggest tell as to her coming back. She has no spine without me. She needs me… just like everyone else. 

Knowing the woman Y/N is I knew that for her to be this way, she had to hurt so badly. It ripped my heart out, seeing her finding comfort in another person, almost as much as knowing that I was the one to do all of it to her. It made me look so bad, to everyone. Hearing Changbin call out to Han that she was slipping, I’ve never heard a voice like that before. I’ve never heard screams like hers. I should’ve never tested her, calling our child “it”. She has been trying so hard, comforting me non-stop, that it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, that she’ll be on top of it. To let me know in the cutest way. Nothing’s more cute than finding out on your third anniversary that your family is going to get bigger. 

It hurt me saying that, calling them “it”, that was exactly why I knew it would get the job done. I needed to peel her away from Changbin without touching her, but it worked a little too well. Why was I punsihing her, punishing them? I think the answer to that is simple. I don’t want the attention on me. Which is counterintuitive, given my natural tendencies. Right now, in this moment, I don’t want to be acknowledged. The way that they see me right now threatens everything I worked for, and it looks like everyone chose their side to stand on. Me giving them more of a chance to hate me is only going to make my job down the road harder.

I think some of the boys could tell. I am royally pissed. I got caught, which for one is annoying, but for all of them to take her side? That was infuriating. I spent so long honing them, training them. I always protected them, supported them. It is infuriating to have people that you did everything for to just dismiss you. Why were’nt they comforting me? That child was mine too. Why am I not getting any condolences? Hell, when we had no money to eat, I wouldn’t eat just so the 8 could have something… anything. The days I went to bed starving, the nights I worked around the clock to give them the opportunities that they now take advantage of. 

This is how they repay me? Screaming at me left and right, Changbin threatening to kill me, even Felix turned his back. I just fucked a side piece… I mean I know what that caused is on me. That I was responsible for what happened to our child. If I could feel like I was attached I am sure I would’ve been a wreck. Something that was mine being taken away does that to a person like me. One thing is for sure, I truly never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to look bad, hurting her would do that, and so I made sure to tread lightly, my go to’s being, “I know Baby, I’m sorry,” and “What time is it? Shit Baby I’m so sorry.”

That didn’t stop me to wanting to have my own little thing. My own little secret. It was a different type of high that I didn’t know I craved… needed. It’s no doubt that Soo did feel better in bed. I could tell she knew what she was doing. Y/N had no experience before me and that did a wonder for my corruption kink, but after that… It was like pulling teeth. I had to teach her everything, so every time we we’d sleep together I had to act like I liked the fact that she’s so innocent. Which I do, but I also don’t want to have to have a health class every time I wanted to have sex. Soo wasn’t like that. She knew what she was doing. Hmmm… maybe I’ll clean up the house and finish what we started. 

In the elevator, no one wanted to say anything. I didn’t want to say anything either, I didn’t want to make anything worse than it is. It’s a unique empty feeling. Y/N would look at me like I hung the moon itself. The feelings that she gave me, I was seen, heard, and loved. Constantly reassured. I can’t live without that validation. The minute I walked out of the elevator I didn’t even look back, all I said was “Take care of her. Do what I didn’t, she needs you. Call me if you need anything.” That made me feel a little better, giving them an order, felt like the last say in a way. 

It was Seungmin’s voice that cut through, I heard him stop the elevator with is arm, “That was never a question, we’ve always taken care of her, don’t wait up. We all know you’re not used to being the one waiting for someone. Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.” My lip upticked at his comment. Mostly because I didn’t imagine Seungmin to have balls like that and another was that I didn’t have a rebuttal. I always have a rebuttal. He’s right though, I always kept her waiting, not the other way around. It always made me feel important, that she needed me to go to bed well, that she craved to feel me.Yet now I find myself willing to wait an eternity if it meant being able to hold her one more time, to have her cook for me, then to cuddle up and pass out together, all of that shit I see as a waste of time. To think I hate needing someone yet here I am, needing her. 

I kept walking after I heard the elevator close. By the time I made it to the car I was trying my hardest not to collapse. My wife was in that hospital, fighting for her life, after I caused her to miscarry, a baby we have been wanting since our first anniversary. I am enraged. I’ve never felt so out of control and it’s driving me crazy. I am always in control. That is the only way that I function. It is something that I pride myself on. Now everything is out of place everyone stepped out of line. All I have to do is get them back in their rightful place… Then we can move on. 

 I’ve never imagined anyone else as the mother of my children, she is giving enough to focus on them while I work on my career. It’s always been Y/N. That thought was the one that made me slam my door a little too hard. She’s going to come back, she’ll be back. She will have my child, we will be happy… When everyone is in their place. 

I tried to distract myself as I went home. It felt like an out of body experience, seeing myself in the rearview mirror, hating the person I saw, just for the sole fact of getting caught. It was such a rookie move. I should’ve known that there was something going on when everyone said they were out for the night. No matter how loud I made the radio, I heard noting but her screams. I wanted to blame someone, get the pain as far away from me as possible, trying to make me out to be the good one. I’m not. The only things I’m good at are music and acting. I could still see the little glances she’d give me, convincing herself that I am just busy. She is so trusting, it honestly baffles me. Just another sign that she’s weak.

I wanted to make it her fault. She shouldn’t be so naive. Seeing Soo disappearing at the same time I am? The way that I couldn’t really look her in the eye for most of last month? She should’ve told me sooner. Maybe if she did that our child would still be here. That’s not even including how I’ve had to keep Soo on a shorter leash than anyone, her face gives so much away. The first time she hung out with us I had to take her to another room and tell her to get it together because she almost started crying in front of Y/N. I know that people will say that’s not fair, What part about anything that I’ve done screamed ‘oh this is reasonable’? None. It’s been so long I’ve been doing this that I don’t even remember how all of this started. Ah I remember now.

I guess a year ago it started off with me venting to Soo. I didn’t know why we weren’t conceiving. We timed out the cycles, we did everything correctly, but still it wasn’t happening. If I told the boys I know I would look weaker for it and I didn’t want Y/N to be even more stressed about getting pregnant. Soo validated my feelings and told me that she was always there for me. That was the first mistake. I should’ve gone to Y/N. After a while it went from talking when I was aggravated to talking daily. 

I looked forward to those calls so badly. It felt like a little interaction that was all mine. Making her laugh made me feel like when I used to get Y/N to laugh. The butterflies came soon after that, seeing that I got a form of attention I didn’t realize I was missing. About two months ago she told me that she was seeing me as “not just my friends husband”. That made my heart leap in my chest. I should’ve avoided her like the plague after that, I should’ve gone to my wife, but not only would that make her mad, it’d also make sneaking around harder. I did something worse.

“Good to know it’s not one sided.” I felt the words drip out of my mouth, even recounting it makes me a little excited. I turn onto my street and I heard Soo’s voice in my head, “Chris...” I knew it was wrong, I fucking knew it was, “I know. I know it’s wrong.” Then hearing her say, “What if she finds out?” with a giggle. “We’ll be discreet.”

We met up that night. I wanted to scrub myself head to toe, till my skin bled, making sure her scent was gone completely. It was so thrilling, so different, and I hated that I liked it. I liked it so much I knew I had to do it again, and soon too. Every time I came home Y/N was either passed out on the couch or in our bed. Notes left on the counter full of how much she loves me. I still remember the first one from that same night, “I know how forgetful you get in the studio, made extra of your favorite, it’s in the fridge, missed you-XOXO Y/N/N.” I looked at her form on the couch, clearly trying to stay up to see me. I ran to the bathroom to vomit, it made me anxious. I knew that I was playing with a downgraded version of my wife. If anything went wrong, I’d be left with the dollar store version of Y/N. For some reason that anxiety turned to exhiliration. The longer it went on for, the more comfortable I got of having my cake and eating it too. 

She never did anything wrong. I asked for space, she gave me space. I asked for anything and she would do it in a heartbeat. She always wanted me happy and stress free. After a while I made it okay in my head by saying that she wants me to be happy and having both make me happy so it’s okay. I know better, I always knew better. 

 I always got up too early, that way I didn’t afford myself time to see the person that I love in one of my favorite ways to see her, happy and sleeping. The last few days I gave myself that. Feeling the guilt eat me alive, rightfully so. I felt guilty for putting all of this on the line, putting her on the line, not for her, but what losing her means to me. I’d practice my apology while she slept, “I’m so sorry, I love you.” 

If it wasn’t for the boys being there, I could’ve had a better handle on her. I could’ve reiterated that practiced apology over and over. I could’ve kept the control I spent years making, which is really the most fucked up thing about all of this. I was in training for almost 10 fucking years, I finally get the perfect group of people who followed perfectly without question. Then Changbin goes ahead and goes soft for Y/N. She’s gorgeous, I know, she’s funny, and kind, but she was also making Bin step out of line a bit. Every time she was around, he would try to take point, try to be the center of attention. At first I thought that it was Bin trying to be cute. When he asked me how he could ask her out a few months after this started, I felt my stomach drop. She threatened everything I worked for. So I spewed some bullshit to make him question himself a bit more while I figured out what to do. 

Some wouldn’t see this as a problem. I am not some. I only let my members have center because I permitted it. If I threw myself in the spotlight always, it would look off. So I made myself into the best, most supportive leader, the leader of the 4th generation, how can you get bigger than that? The perfect wife… Y/N. It was perfect, if I had her, not only would I have more control over Bin, but I’d also have the perfect little family one day. That was when I decided to ask her out after getting her separated enough from Bin. Which wasn’t too hard. There were some unseen snags but overall it was easy. Keeping her is going to be just as easy. When she’s healed. Then everyone will fall back in line.

I pull in to my driveway and go to the door. Once I opened up the door, Bins clothes covered in blood were there, taunting me. I walked further into the house, I looked on the mantle, the picture from our wedding hung there. I remember that day, that gorgeous day. I threw it away. That woman with the most infectious smiles, the woman who’d hold me so close during horror movies. I found myself grabbing that picture, I dragged my finger over her face. I heard her voice, “I love you”, and I collapsed on the floor, right next to the clothes, sobbing, clutching the photo. She was so perfect. 

I got so mad at that point. I shouldn’t be crying, SHE ISN’T LEAVING ME. I can fix her just like I fixed everything else around me. My perfect wife, My perfect group, MINE.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Liked it? TELL ME SO?

Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!!

THE CHAOS EXPRESS 🚂❤️❤️

@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat , @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung , @diddybok , @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, @laylasbunbunny ,@uwuitsjungwoo , @3racha-soup , @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te , @3rachababygirl , @symptoms-of-moonlight , @hiddlestandom , @stay-fr0sty-r0yal-milk-tea , @8rach4, @bear8585 , @tenshimara , @galamxy, @fairlylilo , @skzms, @lolareadsimagines , @lillithathecat , @manuosorioh , @jazziwritesthings , @soulsbbg , @tuskaruska , @emmxxsworld , @maaatyroshka , @orchid-mantis-petals , @thisrandomgoofy15 ,

[talaok]

Hii love! How have you been? I hope you’re doing really great!

I was hoping I could request a Pedro x f!reader ooor Joel x f!reader? Reader is really drunk and so she confesses her love for him? I’m a sucker for drunk confessions hihi she’s really miserable because she loves one of them for so long but never said anything bc she’s insecure…

Oh and also, thank you so so much for your writing, it never fails to make me smile when I’m feeling down and your stories are helping me cope with stress 💕 Congratulations on your beautiful blog !!!! 😍

ok, so here's the thing, since you were so incredibly nice I decided not to choose, but instead do all the combinations, so here is: drunk confessions with Pre-outbreak!Joel, Post-outbreak!Joel, and Pedro Pascal.

pre-outbreak!Joel

"you're drunk, babygirl" he chuckled to himself as he held the bar's doors open for you.

He had offered to give you a ride home immediately after he noticed you getting a little too affectionate with everyone at the bar. 

He had originally gone out with Tommy, but as always as of lately, the thought of you had occupied his mind.

He didn't see you, he heard you first. Your beautiful laugh sounded off the walls of the dimly lit space and instantly, he (and Tommy) had known the plans for that night had changed.

" 'm not" you lied, struggling to see exactly where you were supposed to go.

"sure you aren't angel" he mocked, that smug grin still tugging at his lips as he put one of his strong arms around your back so he could guide you to the car.

The cold night air did nothing against the hot wave spreading through your body at the contact.

You wasted no time leaning into him.

He smelled of aftershave and of the hours spent working beneath the sun, and god if you didn't want to just bottle that scent up and get drunk on it every night.

"You didn't have to do this you know?" you spoke softly, your head raising to look at him better "One of my friends could have brought me home".

He laughed, his thumb unconsciously stroking your side, "I don't think any of them are in any better shape to drive than you are" he explained, lowering his head to look at you. Your pretty doe eyes made him momentarily forget what he was saying, but he quickly recovered, "Also, I don't mind"

You snorted, "You don't mind getting drunk women home? " you joked "perv"

He rolled his eyes, his mouth betraying him as it twitched into a smile "Why are you so drunk anyway?"

Your eyes briefly focused on the sky behind him before coming back to his.

"firstly," you paused for dramatic effect "I am not that drunk"

He just chuckled

"and secondly, I have some things on my mind"

"yeah, like what?" he asked, "do I have to beat someone up?"

"I wish it was that easy" you sighed, clinging to him 

He frowned "Is it a man? Did you meet someone?"

Your heart decided it would have been a good idea to pause for dramatic effect too.

"uhm- I-" Oh god you were too drunk to do this "No, it's-it's complicated"

He hummed in understanding " When is it ever not complicated?" he said "But I'm sure whatever it is it will work out, any man would be lucky to be with you angel"

And there it was, that stupid feeling in your chest whenever he said things like that.

"thank you" you murmured offering a thin smile

 __ __ __

The ride home was silent except for the soft music playing on the radio and the sound of the wind blowing through the open windows.

The air smelled of summer and cut grass, and as you soaked in the feeling, an idea arose in your mind.

A bad idea, a really bad one.

But you were drunk, and you only live once, right? He had said that any man would be lucky to be with you, so, of course, you couldn't help but wonder if he had also been included in the hypothetical, and well... now was the time to ask.

The car came to a stop right in front of your house.

You could see the lighted porch and the familiar tree in the middle of the yard, but your mind was elsewhere.

"You want me to walk you in?"

You turned to him, his big brown eyes hypnotizing.

It was now or never.

"No, I-" you stalled, knowing what you wanted to say but not knowing how to say it.

"What, angel?"

"Remember what we talked about before?" you spat out, your stomach suddenly twisted in itself 

"you mean your "complicated" situation?" he air quoted

"yeah, exactly" You nodded

"Sure, why?"

Oh god

Oh fuck

what had you done?

"Well, I-" You had to glance somewhere else, at the steering wheel, at the windshield, even at your hands, but you couldn't look at him.

"I was... I was talking about a man"

Something flashed behind his eyes but you couldn't quite put a finger on what it was.

"Do I know him?" he asked 

You could almost laugh "Well... yeah"

"Is he good to you?"

You looked at him again, just to see his complete attention directed at you, as if at that moment, only you existed.

"yes" you nodded

"Who is it?" he finally asked.

You struggled to swallow what felt like concrete in your throat.

Your palms were sweaty and your body temperature had gone up in a matter of seconds.

"Joel..." you breathed, your chest rising and falling rhythmically as you stared deep into his eyes "Joel, it's you"

There. You'd done it.

"w-what?" It wasn't every day you heard Joel Miller stutter.

"I like you, Joel" Now that you'd said it it was impossible to stop "I have for a while now"

"you..." he looked at you incredulously, as if you'd just confessed to him of being an alien.

" It's ok if you don't feel the same, we can go back as if this never happened, I just felt like I needed to tell you"

"No" he spat "No, no, we're not going back" he spoke frantically, making you smile "I like you too, angel, a lot," he said, "Ever since you moved here- I- I- Are you sure you're not just drunk?"

Your heart was beating out of your chest.

Did he just say that?

"No, Joel, it's the truth" you grinned

"fuck" he breathed, his eyes wide "I can't believe this" he murmured, leaning closer 

"I really want to kiss you right now"

"then what are you waiting for?"

~~~ ~~~

Post-outbreak!Joel  *angst because I can't help myself but there's a happy ending*

"What were you doing there?"  

He would have sounded mad to anyone else, but you knew he was really just worried.

"what were you?" you retorted, the alcohol in your veins giving your confidence a boost.

"you shouldn't hang out at places like that, those people aren't ones you want to be around when you've had too much to drink"

you didn't miss how he had avoided your question.

"Especially the men... god, sweetheart, I saw at least six guys eyeing you the entire night" he sighed, the pet name fleeing his lips involuntarily.

"how come you can go and I can't?"

He passed a hand through his hair, clearly in distress.

You were the only one able to do that, make him anxious and scared at the possibility of anything happening to you.

"y/n you know why"

"no, I don't" 

you both stopped in the middle of the street, the faint glow of the light poles barely illuminating your faces.

You could still hear the voices from the makeshift (and illegal) bar just around the corner, but the sound of your beating heart was predominant.

"Because I'm one of them" he breathed

"and yet, here you are, walking me home"

this was the thousandth time you'd had this conversation, this endless circle of you trying to convince him he wasn't the monster he thought he was, and him not believing you.

"That doesn't matter"

"I think it does"

"it's different"

"How?"

"because it's you"

You paused a moment, not knowing what to say.

Tiny little butterflies flying in your belly once again.

"You're a good man, Joel," you said, placing a hand on his bicep "No matter how hard you try to convince yourself of the opposite"

You noticed his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed thickly.

"you don't know that y/n,"

"oh but I do" you murmured, absentmindedly getting closer "I can see it in everything you do" you spoke "I really do"

"Y/n-" he tried to speak but your lips were already on his.

You didn't know if it was the alcohol or the pent-up tension you had both spent years creating but for some reason, you couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't go on pretending that just the thought of him didn't make your stomach twist and turn.

His hand went to your face, holding it as if you were about to slip away, as if in a second you were gonna change your mind.

His lips moved together with yours, and for a moment, you were the only person on the planet.

That was, just for a moment of course, for the second Joel's mind started working again, he knew he couldn't do this. No, not to you.

He leaned away, dropping his hands by his side.

You immediately knew something was wrong, and as pathetic as it was, felt tears prick your eyes.

"this-this is wrong" he shook his head

"Why?" you could only ask in a shaky whisper

"You don't want this, you don't want someone like me"

You forced yourself to take a deep breath. You were not gonna give up, not now.

"but I do" 

"y/n you deserve someone better than me" he spoke softly, like his own words hurt him too.

"That's not true, Joel" You promised "and even if it was I don't care. I want you, and I'm tired of pretending I don't" 

"You don't know who I am, what I've d-"

"I do! I know exactly who you are Joel, and that's exactly why I love you" You spoke louder now, frustration and hopefulness mixing together dangerously "Just, please- tell me the truth, tell me how you feel so that I can at least go to sleep tonight knowing that I tried" you begged "it's fine if you don't feel the same, I just- I just need to know the truth"

"Y/n, you-you're drunk, you don't mean this..."

"Joel, please" you forced the tears in your eyes to stay put "You know I do, just tell me. Please"

His hazel eyes bored right into yours, and you were sure that if it wasn't for all those beers in you you wouldn't have been able to hold his glare.

"sweetheart I-" he didn't know what to say.

He couldn't tell you the truth right? he couldn't tell you that since he first saw you you'd been haunting his mind like a curse, he couldn't tell you that for the first time in years, he found himself smiling at something so small as you laughing at something he'd said, he couldn't tell you, because for as much as he had grown to love you, he knew, with a horrifying certainty, that he could never get used to being loved by you, by someone as perfect as you.

"Please Joel" you begged him once more, and as much as he fought it, he couldn't do it, he gave up the fight the moment he heard that sweet little voice of yours breaking.

He couldn't lie to you, not anymore.

And so he didn't.

"y/n" he said "Of course I love you"

~~~ ~~~

Pedro Pascal

You had no idea what the fuck you were doing.

Not one. Zero. Nada. Niente.

The cab had come to a stop and you still hadn't decided what to say.

The club you'd just spent the past few hours dancing and drinking at was much closer to his house than you had expected.

Your heart was thumping in your chest as you stepped onto his front porch.

You glanced at the taxi to make sure it was still waiting for you and found the driver looking curiously at you.

You had asked him to stay when the sober part of your brain realized this wasn't gonna end well.

You took a deep breath, purposely ignoring the fact you had noticed all the lights being off as you knocked on the door.

fuck, this was a mistake.

Everything fell silent for a few seconds, even your mind, and then, you heard the lock tick and the door opened.

Ok, you can do this

Pedro squinted, trying to get a better look at you.

He instantly noticed your outfit and the way your tight dress hugged every part of your body and he had to force his eyes to look away.

He, on the other side, was in what you could only guess were his pajamas: a Lakers shirt and boxers.

"y/n?" he asked, his voice hoarse and deep.

"I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

He cleared his throat, passing a hand through his messy bed hair "no, don't worry I couldn't sleep"

"oh, alright" you breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did something happen?" he asked, eyeing the taxi beside you.

"N-no I just..." Was it just you or was it much harder to breathe all of a sudden? "I needed to tell you something"

"oh," what looked like fear fleshed behind his eyes "You want to come in?"

"n-no it's ok, I'm gonna be quick"

"alright" he nodded, wide awake now

"so..." you trailed off, "ok, the thing is that I-" you bit your lip, your nails picking some skin off your thumb in nervousness "I..."

"Sugar you're killing me here, what is it?"

You forced a small chuckle "I'm sorry" said, trying to calm your racing heart "fuck- ok, you know what? I'm just gonna say it" you decided, not giving yourself time to think about it before spitting out your next words.

"Pedro, I like you. Like- a lot" You tried to smile but your nerves got the best of you "And I know this isn't ideal and that I'm drunk and everything... but I just need you to know"

His eyes were blown wide "You're drunk?"

"well, kinda" you blew him off "but that's not the point, Pedro, I really really like you, like so much it hurts to fucking look at you" You laughed softly now at how crazy you must have sounded " I never told you because I know you don't like me back, and it's ok that you don't, but I just wanted you to know that I really fucking like you because it's been eating me alive for so long and I just needed to say it out loud"

Silence spread once again, his eyes were trained on you, and yours on his.

None of you moved or talked, and you took it as your cue to go.

"ok, I'm gonna go now" you spoke "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, goodnight" You turned to walk away when a hand grabbed your arm.

You turned around, finding his eyes trained on you with an expression you had never seen on him before.

"sugar..." he finally spoke

And there it was, the "it's great you feel that way but I think we should just remain friends" speech you could have felt coming from a mile away.

"y/n are you sure you want to do this now?"

"what do you mean?"

"I mean you're drunk, and maybe you'll wake up tomorrow and regret all of this"

"I don't care, I just wanted to tell you" You shrugged "and there's not really anything to do, Pedro, I know you don't like me, it's fine, I'm gonna go home now"

an unexpected laugh fled his mouth "You really believe that?"

You frowned, your breathing getting heavier again.

"sugar, do you really have no idea what you do to me? About all the nights I spend thinking of you? All the times I dreamed of doing exactly what you're doing right now?"

Your heart had decided to stop working completely, and to be honest, who could blame him?

There it was, Pedro fucking Pascal telling you all about what you do to him.

"I-" you could only stutter

"y/n, fuck- baby, I just- I always assumed you wouldn't want to be with someone like me"

"What?" 

"Well I mean, you're very much out of my league sugar"

"you're kidding me right?" you laughed "You're Pedro Pascal, what are you talking about?"

"And you're Y/n Y/l/n," he explained, a smile tugging at his lips.

Silence again, but this time lighter, it was an incredulous, happy silence filled with realization.

"So what does this mean?" you asked, breathless

He grinned "I have no idea," he said "I just-god, I wish you were sober so I could kiss you"

"You can kiss me"

"I don't want you to forget our first kiss"

"then I'll come back in the morning"

he smiled "Promise?"

"Promise"

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 33

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Reader finally moves to Detroit with Marshall and gets used to living with him and getting to know him even better. She is on cloud nine... Until she learns she's going to meet someone special.

Tags : Fluff - Smut - Bit of angst

Author's Note : I hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️

Y/N’s POV 

After you finally landed in Detroit, you spent almost two days sleeping, trying to fight the jetlag. Marshall seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, probably because he was so used to traveling. You, on the other hand, were really suffering from it and it wasn’t only affecting your sleep schedule, on the rare occasions you were awake, you also had trouble focusing, which did not help you get reacquainted with the house. You didn’t think you would have much trouble settling in, since you had spent so much time there before moving back to Paris, but actually moving in with your boyfriend was a bit different : you had to learn where everything was located and you got familiar with Marshall’s quirky ways, like how he organized the pantry and his weird tidying up habits, that were really different from yours. Also, you hadn’t really thought about the fact that you might feel ill-at-ease in the house, but it was definitely the case. Your boyfriend was incredibly welcoming and made a point of saying that it was your house too, but it didn’t feel like it. Every piece of furniture reminded you of the fact that he had lived there for about twenty years and had lived a full life in it before you were in the picture. You weren’t jealous per se, but it felt weird, like you were starting from scratch and he was already on level 20. So far, the corner you managed to claim as yours was the bedroom, probably because you spent so much time sleeping and fighting off jet lag. On the third day, though, you managed to wake up at a decent time and found Marshall training in the home gym. The sight of him bare chested and all sweaty doing some push ups was definitely a nice way to start your day. 

Hey sleeping beauty, he said as he got up to kiss you. Didn’t expect to see you awake until a couple of hours at least. 

I think I’m starting to run on american time again, you giggled. You know, if I had known I’d see this in the morning, I would have fought the jet lag harder… 

Just got back to it today, he chuckled. Gotta start training back, after all that pasta in Italy. You don’t want me to get all chubby, now, do you ? 

I wouldn’t mind, you said as you ran your hand over his stomach. The more of you the better. 

How about you help me shower ? He asked with a smirk. You’ll get to see more of me. 

Are you really propositioning me this early in the morning, Marshall ? 

Haven’t seen much of you for three days, you know, he chuckled. 

Now I wonder how you managed for six months, you giggled. 

Not going to lie, it was hard. Pun intended. Are you coming or what ? 

Actually, your man having his way with you in every room and against every single piece of furniture did a great job helping you feel at home in the house. In the following days, you spent a lot of time doing each other but not getting much else done. After a while, though, you decided to finally unpack the few things you had taken with you. To be fair, it wouldn’t take too long and your things would not take much space either, seeing as you only had the bare essentials. You might as well start a blog on minimalism, at this rate. At least, you wouldn’t spend too much time choosing what to wear, your options being somewhat limited. 

Last chance to reconsider this whole me moving in thing, you said playfully as you opened your suitcase. 

Not a chance, he chuckled before kissing your cheek. 

Do you think you can spare a drawer in your closet for my stuff ? You asked. 

No need, he shrugged. You can have a whole closet. The house came with his and hers. 

Fancy, you giggled. Although, I would have thought your centipede ass would have taken over the second one for your sneakers… 

I did, he chuckled. But I freed up the space the day after we arrived, while you were sleeping like a baby. 

You’re the best. Although we can definitely share the space, I literally only need a drawer, you said as you pointed to your suitcase. 

I guess you’re going to have to shop, he said with a smile. 

I will, when I have a job, you said. 

Why wait ? He asked. 

Money, you shrugged. 

He rolled his eyes and handed you his credit card. You looked at him without taking it, waiting for him to put it back in his pocket. He stared back, not moving. It was like a silent argument. He had told you before that he was intent on taking care of you in every way possible, but you had your pride and there was no way in hell that you would shop with his hard earned money. You were already moving into his giant house, coming back from an expensive holiday in Europe that he had paid for, wearing a watch and a bracelet that, combined, probably cost more than what you had made in the past year. 

Just take it, he finally said. 

Put that back, you said. I can wait. 

You barely have enough clothes to go through a washing cycle, he pointed out. 

I’ll just borrow yours, then, you playfully retorted. Or walk around naked. But I am not taking advantage of your money. 

I kind of like the idea of having you walk around the house naked, he replied with a smirk. And you know I love it when you wear my stuff. But seriously, you don’t have to be so noble. It’s no big deal. 

I’m not a kept woman. And there is no way I will act like a trophy girlfriend and have you pay for my stuff. All of this is already too much, you said as you gestured around you. 

Technically, it would benefit me too, you know ? He pointed out. I like undressing you. Let’s not underestimate the importance of wrapping paper around the present… 

And what would the ideal wrapping paper look like ? You asked. 

Lingerie, obviously, he giggled. I like the lacy stuff. Can I confess something ? 

Go ahead, you chuckled. 

You know, the black lace bodysuit you wore in the picture that leaked last year ? He asked. It drove me absolutely crazy. I deleted the picture, out of respect for you, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been in a few dreams of mine. 

Oh really ? You asked playfully. Too bad I don’t have it anymore. 

You have no idea what I would do to you if I saw you wear this thing, he said. 

I’ll put it on my list, then, you said with a wink. 

Or you could buy it right now, he said as he waved his card in front of your face. As a congratulation present for the album’s success ? Or early Christmas ? And let’s not forget that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so, really… 

You couldn’t help but giggle. He reminded you of a kid asking their parents for a new video game. He was making puppy eyes at you, batting his eyelashes and whispering “please, please, please ?”. You rolled your eyes and ended up caving in. “Fine, you said. Only lingerie, though.”, you mumbled. Without a second of hesitation, he grabbed your iPad. For someone who often played dumb when it came to technology, he was incredibly proficient. In a couple of seconds, he had ten tabs open on various lingerie websites. He had a fancy taste in lingerie and definitely had a lot of ideas on what he would like you to wear, leading you to think he had given it some thought for a while. What initially started in a search for one lacy black bodysuit ended up in Marshall adding tons of things to the cart because “shipping is an ecological disaster so you might as well make the most of it”. At some point, you were sure that there were less items in a full Victoria’s Secret fashion show and you hoped for his sake that he had invested in Agent Provocateur, because the bill was going up insanely fast, with each click. He seemed like a kid in a candy store and was absolutely unstoppable. 

Babe, I don’t think I need a bodychain that looks like a butterfly, you pointed out with a giggle. 

I like accessories, he chuckled. 

They do have beautiful things, you admitted. Like, those rose gold rope handcuffs… 

You’re into that ? He asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

No, you said shyly. I mean, yes, but… well… 

No need to blush, he said. I’m adding these to the cart. Just in case… Oh, look, they have a matching choker. 

When you thought you were done, once the order was placed, he started arguing that you would need at least one pair of heels to go with it, just to complete the look and you didn’t even have time to answer before he started browsing Louboutin’s website. At that point, trying to reason with him was a lost cause. Plus, if you were honest, he did have good taste. 

You realize you just spent the equivalent of the gross domestic product of some countries, simply on stuff you want to ravish me in, right ? You pointed out. 

As a businessman, I’d say it’s an investment, he said with a smirk. 

As a rational person, I’m tempted to ask how this little investment would bring some actual profit, you giggled. 

That’s actually really simple, he said. That’s an investment in our relationship, which is important to my work-life balance, hence my creativity. 

Almost a fair point, you conceded. 

Plus, I think I could base a whole album on your body and all the things I’m doing to you once we receive that package, he chuckled. So if it goes well, it might pay for our next vacation… 

I swear to God, Marshall, if I hear one reference to our sex life in a song… 

One ? He said with a grin. Babe, it’ll be at least four or five… 

I’m serious, you said sternly. 

We’ll see, he replied with a wink. 

You thoroughly enjoyed having Marshall with you while you got used to the house. It was a far cry from your fancy holidays in Europe. Of course, discovering cities, eating at restaurants and staying at luxury hotels was nice, but this felt more real, more domestic. You also liked the fact that, in spite of his obvious wealth, the house had an actual family feel to it, far from what a lot of real people showcased on Instagram or Architectural Digest videos. The place was actually lived in, filled with memories and it had a nice vibe to it. Most people probably wouldn’t expect one of the world’s most famous rappers to live in a place like this, but once you got to know Marshall, it sort of made sense. The house was secluded and located in a gated community - for obvious reasons - and it was impressive in size, for sure, but it wasn’t flashy by any means. The furniture was all about quality but unassuming, with a nice cozy feel to it, with comfortable chairs and sofas, as well as spaces designed to have people over and entertain. The perfect nook for someone who actually spent a lot of time at home. You had never thought you’d live in such a place but you were happy you ended up here. Not that it mattered too much anyway, since you were sure you could be happy anywhere as long as you had Marshall by your side. After a few days, it was time for your boyfriend to go back to work and you’d be left alone in the house for the first time. The night before, as you were laying  in bed, the two of you were talking about his upcoming projects. Now that he was no longer in album recording mode, it would change a tad from what you had witnessed. He would spend as much time « in the lab », as he put it, but he would have more people over and prioritize his work as a producer for a bit. He seemed genuinely excited to go back to work, especially since he hadn’t indulged in such a long break in almost a decade. 

Three weeks off is rare for me, he chuckled. My team almost freaked out when I told them I needed this much time off, at first. 

Why did you, by the way ? You asked. 

I figured I would need a lot of rest after the tour, he explained. It was a short one but it was intense and, since I don’t perform as much as I used to, it’s harder on the body. Plus, I was still very much heartbroken over a certain someone… 

I’m sorry, you said sheepishly. 

Don’t be. All is well in the end, right ? I got my much-needed break, I have the most amazing woman back in my arms, we got to travel together and you even moved in ! I wouldn’t have it any other way, he said as he looked at you lovingly. 

They’re going to have you back in a good mood, you giggled. 

I’m pretty sure I’ll turn back into my usual bitchy self as soon as I get back, he chuckled. Doesn’t help that we’re starting with a full day of meetings, too… 

What meetings ? You asked, feeling curious. 

Bunch of them, he shrugged. One to plan the next months ahead, review the collaboration requests we’ve got, one about potential performance dates, a meeting with a journalist for an interview… oh and another one with Tracy. 

As soon as you heard her name leave his lips, you couldn’t help but grimace, which did not escape his notice. He chuckled and kissed your forehead. Since you had gone on vacation, you hadn’t mentioned her. To be fair, you were so busy that you had momentarily forgotten about her existence - which was not the worst thing. The mere mention of her was enough to make you groan and you had to put in a lot of effort not to have a mental image of her kissing your boyfriend the very day before you got back with him. Obviously, neither she nor Marshall had medium powers so they couldn’t have planned that you’d get back together but still… it irked you. You did not want that woman anywhere near Marshall. Especially since he had told you she had confessed to hoping they would get back together. He had given her a few weeks to sort her feelings out and decide on whether or not they would keep on working together, leaving the choice up to her. Your boyfriend was definitely a class act and a gentleman. Now, you secretly hoped she would quit. A shameful feeling you would never confess to having, of course. 

Stop clenching your jaw like that, it’s bad for you, Marshall chuckled as he traced your jaw with his fingers. 

I’m not clenching, you groaned. 

You totally are, he said with a smile. You still hate her don’t you ? 

Me ? Hate her ? You asked. I don’t hate her. Do I like her ? No. Do I hope she stubs her toe on some piece of furniture every morning for the rest of her life ? Maybe. But I don’t hate her. 

You’re so petty, he chortled. It’s hilarious. 

You mean pretty, right ? 

I said what I said, he chuckled as he kissed your temple. You know you don’t have anything to worry about, though, right ? 

I know, you said. I just have to shake the feeling. It’ll pass. 

I hope so, he replied. If she keeps on working as my personal assistant, you might run into her from time to time. I don’t want it to be weird. 

I can be civil, you assured him. As long as she keeps her hands off you. 

Territorial, much ? He teased you. 

You’re mine, you said. 

Yours, he said with a nod before kissing you tenderly. 

You settled in his arms as he turned off the lights and you put a hand over his perfect chest before drifting off to sleep. When you woke up the next day, he was already gone. You found a sweet note on your nightstand, telling you to enjoy having the house to yourself and that he would come home at 5:30PM. You missed him already but decided to make the most of your first day with some intensive self care. It was Monday so Talia was at work, otherwise you would have told her to come over for a girls day. Still, being on your own wasn’t going to prevent you from pampering yourself and trying to be pretty for your man when he would come back from work. You started with a bath, taking some time to do a full body scrub, some hair care and a face mask. One of the many perks of the house was the bathroom adjacent to the master bedroom, which was basically like a home spa. You could definitely get used to this life… you were getting dressed when the doorbell rang. It felt weird answering the door, but it was your new home after all. It was actually the delivery of your package from Agent Provocateur, and it was a huge one. As soon as you got it, you brought it to your closet and started unboxing. You had always liked lingerie but so far the most expensive stuff you had ever bought was probably from Victoria’s Secret or Princess Tam Tam, as well as a few Aubade pieces (on sale). This was different. It felt insanely sexy and luxurious and, to be honest, you weren’t too sure you deserved to be wearing such garments. Still, now that all this stuff was in your closet, you might as well wear it, so you decided to try it on. You were unsure whether it was the expensive fabrics and accessories adorning your body or your extensive pampering session from earlier, but you were absolutely feeling yourself. As you examined yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but think you looked great, which was quite a feat. Ever since you had lost weight, you had had trouble appreciating your body. You had always been on the curvier side and you had learned to love your body like this. So liking a skinnier version of your body was a bit hard. Still, the lingerie worked wonders. You tried on a few pieces and wished Marshall could be there to see it, sure that he would gladly enjoy the view, rather than being stuck in meetings with Paul, Tracy and God knows who else… That's when you had an idea : you might as well show him what was waiting for him at home when he would get back. Plus, it would also serve as a reminder that he might have a personal assistant, but you were the woman who was deserving of his attention. You didn’t actually worry about him being unfaithful, you fully trusted him, but you still had your doubts about whether or not Tracy would try and flirt with him. You barely knew the woman after all. As you tried on lingerie set after lingerie set, you snapped a few pictures and ended up having a little fun photo shoot. God bless good iPhone cameras, mirrors and timers. With a bit of color editing, the pictures looked even better. You sent one to Marshall, with the caption : « Good luck for your meetings. Miss you already. Can’t wait for you to be home ❤️ ».  Within a few minutes, he answered. 

From M❤️ : Can’t wait to be home either. Better not be wearing anything else when I get back. 

You chuckled and decided to tease him a little more, with pictures of other sets. You were curious to know what his favorite one was. There were so many options, from cute and simple bras with matching panties to more intricate things with corsets or garter belts…  

From M❤️ : Got told off by Paul for not paying attention. You’re getting me in trouble… 

To M❤️ : oops. Sorry for distracting you, my love. I’ll go and put some ugly sweats right away 👀 

From M❤️ : don’t you dare. 

You giggled and carried on with your little picture-taking, sending him the best ones. He didn’t reply much, but at least you knew he enjoyed it. It was the middle of the afternoon and you were casually chilling in the bedroom, in your finest lingerie with music playing loud on a portable speaker you had found in the living room. Not too bad for a Monday. You had just taken a cute selfie and we’re trying to edit it when you felt a presence. Before you could turn and check, you felt a hand firmly grasping your waist. You let out a scream of terror before another hand covered your mouth and you heard a giggle in your ear. It was Marshall. You immediately relaxed and turned to face him. 

You scared me ! You whined. 

I yelled at you but your music was too loud, he said with a grin before turning off the speaker. 

I thought I was being attacked, for a second ! 

Babe, it’s a gated community with security and cameras everywhere, you’re safe, he chuckled. Believe me, if my paranoid ass feels safe, it is safe. 

You giggled and kissed him before checking the time on your phone. It was 3:45PM. You looked at him in disbelief. You definitely didn’t expect him home this early, not that you were going to complain. 

Aren’t you supposed to be at work ? You asked. 

Called off the last two meetings, he said with a smile. If anyone asks, I’m feeling under the weather. Couldn’t focus anyway. I wonder why that is… 

Oops, you said as you blushed a bit. Am I in trouble ? 

Depends, he chuckled. Do I get to see more pictures ? 

You really suck at negotiating, you giggled. You could ask for a runway show and all you want are lousy pics ? 

He smiled and firmly grabbed your waist to pull you in for a deep kiss. His hands wandered around your body as your tongues found each other. 

You look incredible, he complimented. Your pictures drove me crazy. 

Glad to know there’s a way to get you to get back early, you said teasingly. I’ll remember that. 

I’ll be in trouble if that happens too much, he chuckled. But please feel free to send more of these pics… 

He pulled you closer and you could feel him being rock hard through his jeans. Knowing you were the cause gave you quite the ego boost and you felt quite proud. You kissed him and ran your hands on his chest. Even when he was wearing a tee-shirt, you could see the outline of his pecs and it was enough to drive you crazy. You gently squeezed one pec and he leaned into your touch while one of his hands cupped your butt cheek. 

So… do I get my runway show ? He asked with a smirk. 

Only because I’m a good girl and I don’t want to get in trouble, you said with a wink. 

You proceeded to try on a few of the items you hadn’t tried yet. The first was a black bodysuit with a lace up back, which wasn’t showing much but was giving glamorous vibes. The second was an opulent set with black lace and dainty chains, completed with a black waspie. As soon as he saw you, Marshall’s eyes widened. His mouth was slightly agape while he was staring. 

Do you like it ? You asked with a smile. 

You’re perfect, he said. These were fucking made for you. I think that’s my favorite set right here. 

Is it ? You asked teasingly. I should take a pic, so that I can send it to you next time you’re in a meeting… so you can remember me. 

I’ll take it for you, he said with a smirk as he grabbed your phone. 

You got on the bed and posed for him as he smiled and tried to take a decent shot, trying different angles. You teased him and bit your lip while you ran your hands over your breast, gently pinching your nipples through the fabric. 

You’re so hot, he groaned. I swear I could film you… 

You can do it, you said flirtingly. 

Are you serious ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Sure, why not, you nodded as you kept on stroking your breast and caressing the rest of your own body, teasing him with your eyes. 

His blue eyes were devouring you and you absolutely loved it. His look was one of pure adoration, mixed with desire. This prompted you to put on a little show for him. You sat at the edge of the bed and started touching yourself on top of the lacy underwear that was covering you. Your fingers circled your clit and you could feel just how wet you were, simply from knowing how aroused Marshall was. You kept on looking him in the eyes as you pleasured yourself. He was still holding the phone, staring at you, while his free hand was mindlessly palming his crotch. You looked at him with a devilish grin and walked to him before dropping on your knees. 

What are y-? He began asking. 

Shhhh. Just keep filming and enjoy, you said with a smirk. 

You unbuckled his belt and managed to get him out of his pants and boxers. You stroked his erection, your touch making him sigh in pleasure. Precum was already dripping from the tip and you couldn’t resist licking it, gently teasing the head of his cock with your tongue as you kept on stroking him. His hand that wasn’t holding the phone went to the back of your head, gently encouraging you to keep going and you took that as you cue to start sucking, which caused him to moan and slur a few obscenities. You weren’t sure if it was the camera pointed at you, his unusually vocal response or the lingerie that had you feeling so confident, but you loved it. You stared at him as you kept on sucking him, trying to take him in as much as you could. He started bucking his hips while praising you for taking him so well. You had a bit of a gag reflex but kept going until the tip of your nose was touching his pubes. Tears were welling in your eyes but you loved hearing him moan. It was music to your ears. His hips started thrusting faster as the hold he had on your head tightened. You weren’t sure you could keep going for long and, for the briefest of moments, you were almost scared that you were going to choke. He stopped and looked at you, phone still in hand. 

Bed. All fours. Now, he said. 

Yes sir, you giggled playfully before doing as he said. 

Hold this for me, he said as he handed you the phone so that he could shed the rest of his clothes. 

When he was completely naked, he grabbed a condom from the nightstand and put it on before taking the phone back as he pushed your thong aside and positioned himself at your entrance. You let out a gasp when he entered you and immediately started moving at a frantic pace. Unlike most of the time, he did not give you time to get used to his size but you did not really mind - you liked the roughness. His hand was firmly holding your hip, his fingers slightly digging in your skin. In this instant, you belonged to him and you were his to use as he pleased. He was pounding hard into you as you moaned his name, tears still rolling on your cheeks from trying to deepthroat a few minutes earlier. 

Fuck it, he groaned. 

You heard a “plop”, it was your phone being carelessly thrown onto the bed and bouncing God knows where. Marshall’s now free hand found your waist. He was now firmly holding you, thrusting like a piston. 

I-I’m coming, you warned. 

Yes baby, he groaned. Come for me. 

You both exploded in an orgasm at the same time and Marshall collapsed onto you, letting out a small grunt as his head hit your shoulder. You stayed in the unlikely position for a couple of minutes, taking the opportunity to catch your breath. You were panting and you could feel his strong heartbeat in your back. You buried your face in the sheets and enjoyed the warmth of his breath on your skin. 

You are fucking incredible, he said. 

You too, you said. God, that was so intense. 

Too much ? He asked. 

Just enough, you said with a smile. Perfect. You know I like it a little rough. 

You’re also a little kinky, he pointed out. 

Maybe, you admitted with a giggle. 

He placed a small kiss on your shoulder and changed position so that he could properly lay next to you. He looked at you with a soft smile and placed a strand of hair behind your ear. You couldn’t resist kissing him. 

You are so hot, he said. I swear to God, I have never, ever been more turned on by anyone. 

Really ? You grinned. 

God, the pics, actually seeing you wear this, and then filming you ?! Babe, you are… wow, he said. 

I guess I was feeling a little frisky today, you giggled. 

I’ve noticed, he said with a grin. What got into you ? 

I don’t know, you shrugged. I mean… the lingerie got me feeling all sexy and… I always wanted to try filming, so… 

Really ? He asked. 

I mean… yeah, I was curious, you admitted. What ? Do you think it’s weird ? 

No, he shrugged. Not at all. You’re just a little kinkier than I thought, I guess. Not that I’m complaining. 

I guess I am kinky, you said with a smile.

He let out a small laugh as he stretched and got rid of the condom before laying back on the bed. 

What ? You asked, worrying that he might be making fun of you. 

Nothing. It’s just kind of funny. I guess you don’t really come across as the kinky type, you know ? When I met you there was no way I would have thought you enjoyed being filmed and stuff. 

Do I look that vanilla ? 

Frankly ? Yes, he laughed. But hey, I love your kinky side too. It’s a pleasant surprise. Makes me wonder what else turns you on. I realize there’s a shit ton I don’t know about you. 

It’s true, I haven’t been too daring in bed, so far, you admitted. 

Why ? He asked. Didn’t you feel comfortable enough with me ? 

It’s not that. I guess I wasn’t in the mood for kinky stuff at that particular time ? You tried to explain. I mean, getting to sleep with you is enough for me. I enjoy vanilla sex just as much. 

He hummed in response, still staring at you. As if he was waiting for you to elaborate. 

It’s true - we’ve been pretty vanilla so far, he said. 

How about you ? You asked. Any kinks you want to tell me about ? 

Hey. We were talking about yours. Don’t change the subject, he said. 

Are you feeling uneasy ? You asked. 

Maybe a little, he admitted. 

We don’t have to have that conversation if you don’t want to, you said as you kissed his jaw. 

Oh but I do want to have it, he said. I want to know about you. Go first and maybe I’ll tell you about me, he added with a grin. 

Let’s see… I feel like that’s pretty basic you know ? I like it rough but I don’t know if it registers as a kink ? Maybe it does. I mean… I’ve never really got to take it as far as I want to, so, I don’t know, you said. I haven’t had too many partners, and I’ve never felt confident enough to try all the things I want to. 

Really ? 

Yeah. I mean, it takes a certain amount of comfort in a relationship, you said. 

I guess, he admitted. 

Plus, you know, I had my first boyfriend when I was 18, and he is the first person I ever slept with. It lasted about three years and we never tried anything crazy. Then there was Simon. We were together for a while but we didn’t explore much. It was mostly light spanking, hair-pulling, but that’s all. Then Josh, but we didn’t do much. And then… you. 

How far did you go with Josh ? 

Foreplay, you said. 

He hummed, his eyes darkening. 

What ? You asked, I answer, you said. 

That motherfucker, Marshall commented. 

You really hated him, didn’t you ? You asked. 

Hate is a strong word, he said. But yeah, I wasn’t his biggest fan. He didn’t deserve you. 

He was nice and caring, you pointed out. That’s more than a lot of dudes. 

He was kind of stupid and he put you in danger, Marshall said flatly as he referred to the salsa bar incident that had led you to the hospital. 

You know it wasn’t his fault, you said as you rolled your eyes. I think you’re being a bit jealous here. 

Maybe I am, he admitted. I must say it was not the most fun time for me, when you dated him. I was trying hard not to be all over you, and he was the one who got to kiss you, take you on dates and everything. 

You are the one who got the girl in the end, you reminded him, which caused him to smile. 

The kinky girl, he added. Let’s not get lost here… I want to know stuff. So… slept with three people and that’s it ? 

Well, no. I only dated three people before you. I did sleep with a couple more people though. Girls actually. 

Oh I didn't know you liked girls, he said surprised. 

Yeah, I’m bi. I never dated a girl though. They’re too impressive, you said with a laugh. Men are easier to get, I think. 

Have you ever had a threesome ? He asked. 

That’s on my « list » but no, never. I’d be into that, though, you admitted. Any type of threesome. Or more than that, who knows ? But yeah, I think it could be fun. And I wouldn’t want to die stupid and ignorant you know ? 

Right, he chuckled. Though I must admit that in my opinion, it’s a bit overhyped. 

You’ve had threesomes ? 

A bunch of times, yeah, he shrugged. I mean, I get a lot of opportunities on tour. I’ve had threesomes, foursomes, moresomes… 

You looked at him with curiosity. You figured that, given his age and occupation, he must have had a lot of experiences, but you didn’t really know how far he had taken it. You were kind of curious and there were a lot of questions you wanted to ask. 

Did you enjoy it ? You asked. 

I mean… Yeah, he said. That was a point in my life when I wanted to get all the pussy I could, so in that regard, that was fun. Though there’s something about the logistics. Threesomes are fine but when there’s more people or an actual orgy, there’s a lot going on at the same time so you can’t really focus, you know what I mean ? But yeah, that was exciting. I mean, I did get a lot of opportunities and propositions, a while ago. 

I bet you still do, you said. 

Not really, he chuckled. I mean, with the level of security that I have, it’s hard to get to me anyway so there’s not a lot of people who can actually proposition me, you know ? Back in the day, we were more lenient with security and letting people hang out with us after shows. But regardless, my interest in that is different. 

You’re still a regular horndog, you giggled. 

True, he said with a smile. But getting sober made a big difference when it comes to my approach to sex and intimacy in general. 

I have so many questions, you said. 

Me first, he reminded you. 

Fine, you said as you rolled your eyes. What do you want to know ? 

Mmmh… How rough do you mean, when you say you like it rough ? Marshall asked. 

I don’t know, you said. I haven’t tested a lot of things yet, so I think I’d like to push my limits and test stuff. I wouldn’t necessarily want to get punched in the face, but being shoved against a wall, the ground and roughhousing ? Yes, absolutely. 

Ok, he said with a nod as if he was making a mental note. What else ? 

Let’s see… Well I wanted to try being filmed and we did that, so I guess we can cross that off my list… 

You’d never done that before ? He asked. 

Never. 

He smiled at you with pride and his grin made you scoff. Male ego at its peak. 

I wouldn’t say I’m into exhibition, but I wouldn’t mind trying stuff in public either, you added. I think the fear of getting caught can be really exciting. Other than that there’s… uh… submission. 

Really ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Yeah, you confessed shyly. I think it’s really really hot when your partner takes control. Especially of you’re the partner. 

You could feel the heat in your cheeks and you were pretty sure your face was crimson red at this point, but there was something about Marshall, his aura, his natural charisma, his voice that called to your submissive nature. It had never been the case with anyone else, only him. 

Me ? He asked with a smirk. 

Oh yeah, you admitted. When you get that deep voice… ? God… 

You got lost in your thoughts for a second. The mere idea of Marshall domineering you was turning you on. 

Keep going, he said. I want to know more. 

I think that’s it, actually, you said with a smile. I mean, I haven’t done a lot of research either. I just want to explore stuff and have fun. 

I guess we might be able to try some stuff together, if you’re up for it, he said before kissing you. 

Really ? You asked in excitement. 

Sure, he chuckled. I mean, I wouldn’t consider myself like much of a dominant, but if you wanted me to try, I might give it a go. 

Ok, you said softly. 

The idea of being able to explore sexuality and furthering your intimacy made you really happy. You had never felt so safe with any of your partners before. You trusted this man with all of your heart and soul. 

What else would you be willing to try ? You asked giddily. 

What was on the list again ? He asked. 

Hum… Threesomes ? I mean, you’ve done it before so it wouldn’t be anything new to you, you said. 

I don’t know about this one, he admitted. 

Oh, ok, you said. 

I mean, I’m not sure how I feel about sharing you, he explained. Given the right opportunity and person, it’s not a firm and definitive no, but… Yeah, I don’t know. But threesomes can be fun, for sure. 

Ok, you agreed. That makes sense. But if it were to happen, like, hypothetically, you’d rather have it be with another woman, right ? 

Absolutely, he said. I’m definitely straight and I understand that a woman might want to have two men with her but… No way I’m sharing you with another dude. Not happening. Sorry babe. 

That’s fine, you giggled. Just testing the water here. So, when you had threesomes and all, it was just girls ? 

Yep, he chuckled. My ex is bi so she would have girls over and that’s how it would happen, most of the time. 

You were in an open marriage ? You asked. 

Not really, he chuckled. Though there was so much cheating that it might as well have been an open marriage, I guess. Let’s just say I was more lenient if she hooked up with girls and especially if it could benefit me as well… 

Ok, you said with a smile. My turn, now ? 

Fire away, he said. 

Are you sure you’re straight ? You asked cockily. Like, have you ever been with a man ? 

I have, he said casually. 

Really ?! 

You were in shock. You definitely weren’t expecting that and your question was actually a joke. You didn’t have a problem with it, obviously, but seeing as he had been portrayed as homophobic in the past, you didn’t think he would have given it a try. 

Can I ask questions about that ? You asked. 

I guess, he shrugged. I mean, I don’t think I have really talked about it but I trust you so, yeah, go ahead. But there’s nothing to say, really. 

When was it ? 

Uh… Twenty years ago, I’d say ? He replied after taking some time to think. So, yeah, it was a while ago. When I performed with Elton John at the Grammys… 

NOOOOOO ?! You almost yelled. 

Your mouth was wide open and you were almost in shock. Had your boyfriend really slept with Elton John ?!?! He immediately burst into a fit of laughter, so much so that he was actually crying. 

You should see your face, he said as he tried to catch his breath. Fuck, you’re so gullible, babe. 

You’ve been leading me on, haven’t you ? You asked with a grin. You’ve never tried guys. 

Oh no, that part was true, he chuckled. It happened after the Grammys but it wasn’t with Elton. He’s great, he’s a friend but it wasn’t him. I don’t think I remember the guy’s name though. In my defense, I was high. 

So, what happened ? You asked. Hooked up with a guy and didn’t like it ? 

Basically, yeah, he said. The guy looked good and I though “If I ever have to be attracted by a man, I think that would be someone like this”, so when he flirted and made a pass at me, I went for it. He was cool and an ok kisser, but the hookup was a disaster. If you can even call it that. I was fucking high but that sobered me up and I knew right then and there : straight. 1000%. 

At least you know for sure, you giggled. 

Exactly, he chuckled. Next question ? 

Do you have any kinks ? 

Not so many, he said. I’ve tried a lot of stuff, out of curiosity and for the sake of experience but I’m not into freaky, kinky stuff. I’m a simple man. But I suppose it depends on what you call a kink ? 

I don’t even know, you giggled. I should have done my research if I had known I’d get to quiz you. 

Find a list and I’ll tell you whether or not I’m into it, he shrugged. 

You grabbed your phone and took the first list you found - there went the purity of your web browser. 

Age play ? Like “daddy-dominant-little-girl” ? 

Absolutely not. Being called daddy in bed is a huge turn-off. Maybe it’s a Dad thing, I don’t know. Not to kink-shame but I think it’s sort of twisted you know ? He said. 

You have called me “babygirl” before though, you pointed out with a smile. 

Yeah but I don’t see it in the same way. Probably a double-standard he admitted. 

Let’s see… Bondage ? You asked. 

I don’t mind it. It can be fun but not a necessity. 

Blindfold sex ? 

Hate it, he said. I love being able to look at my partner. I think I’m pretty visual when it comes to sex. As for blindfolding people… maybe. Once again, it can be fun once in a while. 

So no blindfolding you, you noted. Cuckholding ? 

Is that shit alphabetised ? He asked with a laugh. Cuckholding is a no for me. First, because I don’t do humiliation, secondly because I’m not big on sharing. 

Yes it’s alphabetised, you smiled. 

I do enjoy that. I know it’s not a kink but I like things in order. 

Good to know, you chuckled. Claustrophilia ? 

It depends. I’ve had sex in elevators, closets and airplane bathrooms, so I think it counts. You ? 

Never thought of it but I’m not against it, you said with a wink. 

Good to know. Glad I can easily get a jet for us to try that, too…

You chuckled once again. You liked learning more about him. 

Dominance we have already talked about… how about DIY porn ? You asked. That’s the next item on the list. 

Didn’t we just do that ? He asked back. 

Yeah but how did you feel about it ? 

It was fun. I’m not even sure I did a great job with the filming though. But I guess it’ll be fun to have the video as a memory if i’m ever away from you and horny, he stated. 

Electrostimulation ? 

Nope.

Erotic Asphyxiation ? 

They could have put that in the B section under “Breathplay” he commented. I don’t really like being choked but if you want me to do it to you, sure. Safely, of course. 

Both his alphabetical comment and the statement made you smile. 

Foot fetish ? 

Nope. A girl asked me to try that once but I didn’t like it. 

Food play ? 

It can be fun but I’m not big on it. Next ? 

Gagging ? 

Not for me, no. You ? 

No thanks, you said. I don’t really mind if I gag a little during a blowjob, though. But not voluntarily. 

I do like the idea of making you gag with my cock, he confessed with a little grin. Next ? 

Gerontophilia ? 

Nothing against the elderly but that’s not a kink for me, he said. But I’m sure I’ll find you sexy as fuck when you’re an old lady though. 

Thanks, you laughed. We’ve covered humiliation already… how about impact play ? Like hitting ? 

I don’t really want to be hit or spanked, he said. You ? 

I think I’d like to try, you said. I’ve been spanked before but I’d gladly try more. 

As long as I’m not physically hurting you…, he said. 

You could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. 

Are you alright ? You asked immediately. 

Yeah, no, I’m good, he said dryly. I just… well we might as well talk about it… 

What’s wrong ? We can stop this conversation if you’re not ok, baby, you said. 

It’s fine, he said. It’s just… in the past, Kim and I got physical a couple of times. I mean, you probably know about that, because of the media and I’ve written songs about it. It’s never been to a point where I was actually beating her down, but we’ve definitely hit each other a number of times. But thinking about that… it’s hard because it’s one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made, you know ? That’s not the person I want to be. 

That’s not the person you are either, you said softly. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. 

I’d rather kill myself than hurt you, he stated in all seriousness.

You looked at him and his stern expression. You gently stroked his hand. 

I trust you and I know you’ll never hurt me, you said. 

You don’t think I’m an asshole who deserves hell for what I’ve done ? He asked pensively. 

I don’t. I mean, I’ll never condone domestic violence and if you ever lay a hand on me in circumstances that aren’t sexual, I’ll leave, that’s for sure. I’ll never say it’s ok that you hit your ex, but it’s also in the past and I know you have changed. So I trust you and I don’t think you deserve to suffer. I can see on your face that you suffer enough from the memories. 

I deserve to, he said sternly. 

Sorry, you said. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought up impact play. If it triggers you, we’ll never try it. 

If you want to try, maybe we can keep it on the soft side, he said. But yeah… I don’t think I’d be ready to really hit you too hard. Even if you begged for it. 

We can stop the list there, if you want, you said. I mean… I love talking about that with you but I’d be happy to just cuddle and go to bed, you know ? 

Nah, it’s good. Keep the list going. I like learning stuff about you, he said with a smile. 

Ok, so… interrogation play ? 

Not really. 

Japanese bondage like shibari ? 

Not my stuff either. I get the hype but it’s too intricate and I don’t have time for that shit, he said with a grin. It’s really sexy to see though. 

Klismaphilia ? You asked. 

What the fuck even is that ? He asked laughingly. 

It’s Greek and it means… oh… it’s enemas. 

Ah. Then no. Absolutely not, he said. 

Me neither. How about Katoptronophilia ? It’s masturbating in front of a mirror. 

Nope. 

How about masochism ? You asked. 

Down to M already ? No, I'm not a masochist. 

Reading the description I might be into that, you commented. It’s enjoying pain so… maybe I’m a bit of a masochist after all, you shrugged. 

Yeah ? Well as I said… as long as I don’t mistreat you… I guess I can pull your hair and spank you gently, he said with a smile. 

Sounds fine, you said with a smile. Next on the list is… Melolagnia, you added with a grin. I think I’ve just discovered a new kink of mine. 

What is that ? 

I’ll read it to you : “ Melolagnia is a fetish that involves being turned on by music. This doesn’t simply mean having a go-to Spotify playlist when you have sex, but rather experiencing strong sexual reactions in response to music and also fantasizing about certain songs or genres. The arousal can derive from a combination of the musical elements including the singer’s voice, beat, repetition, or even the quality of the composition, all of which can lead to physical sensations like goosebumps, a faster heartbeat, or even more natural sexual lubrication.” You quoted. 

Oh wow. Didn’t know that existed, he said. But yeah music turns me on. You ? 

Oh, definitely, you said blushing and attempting to hide your face. 

Why are you suddenly so red and looking away ? He asked with a grin. Any songs I should know about ? 

Shut up, you muttered. 

Come on, Y/N. Tell me. 

No. You’ll never let me live it down, you said. 

As long as it’s not MGK, that should be fine, he joked. 

Come on… 

Tell me ! What ? Is it an artist I’ve had beef with ? Mariah ? Christina Aguilera ? Ja Rule ? Please don’t say Ja Rule… 

I’m not having this conversation, you said, embarrassed. 

Now that I know you like domination, I can make you talk, woman, he said as he put a finger underneath your chin. 

You wouldn’t, you mumbled. 

Try me. 

Your eyes met his. He stared at you. 

Tell me, he said in his deep, authoritarian voice. 

“Not fair”, you thought, definitely turned on but unable to speak. 

Do I know them ?

You nodded. 

Is it a friend of mine ? Dre ? 50 ? He asked as you were unable to make a sound. Then who ? Tell. Me. 

There went the voice again. 

It’s… you. 

You spoke so softly, hoping he wouldn’t catch it. Unfortunately for you, he did. 

Ah, he said with a grin, trying not to laugh. 

Don’t judge me, you muttered. 

Well it depends… is there a song in particular ? He asked softly. 

Do we have to have this conversation ? You asked as you rolled your eyes. 

Come on babe, it’s fun. And it’s flattering. I’m glad you think my music can be sexy. 

Marshaaaaall…

Please ? 

He was looking at you with adorable puppy eyes. 

Fine, you grumbled. Superman. And Heat, too. You happy ? 

You hid your face in your hands in embarrassment. You heard him scoff and he gently kissed your shoulder. 

Come on, it’s fine. It’s not as if you had said FACK, you know ? Then I probably would have laughed in your face. But Superman… ? I sort of get it. I mean, it’s kind of the intention we had when we recorded. Heat too. I mean, it’s in the title. So it’s fine, babe. 

You don’t think I’m a weird groupie ? You asked. 

Of course not. I think you’re the cutest thing ever, right now. And I can definitely sing those for you sometime, he said with a grin. Let’s just not play one of my albums while we fuck, ok ? I’m not that much of an egomaniac. 

Mmmh. 

Let’s get back to the list, he said as he took the phone from your hand. So… Nylons ? No. Nebulophilia - steam and fog ? Neither. Oh… objectum sexuality. You like toys ? 

I have a couple, you admitted. You ? 

Yeah, a couple too. Though I don’t use them much. But we could definitely have fun with that, he said. 

Sure, why not.  What’s next ? 

Uh… pregnancy fetish. 

Well I’m attracted to women but not pregnant ones, you stated. I get that the creation of life can be beautiful and stuff, but they look like aliens to me. 

Yeah ? Well I have to admit… I don’t want anymore kids because I’m all done with that and too old for that shit anyway but… yeah, I think pregnancy is sexy, he admitted. I mean, I sort of have a breeding kink.

Really ? You asked in shock. 

Yep. Never been more attracted to my ex than when she was pregnant, he said. 

Was that because she was carrying your baby ? You asked. 

No, not even that. I mean, that plays a big part in the appreciation, but Stevie isn’t technically mine and still, when Kim was pregnant with her… I found her so hot. 

Ok, you said. 

You’d had the kids' conversation before and you were ready to give that up, but him saying that kind of made you regret the fact that you’d never be pregnant anymore. 

You ok baby ? He asked when you went silent. 

Sure, you said softly. I’m just thinking… I’ll never get pregnant again, so… I’ll never get to experience this kind of attraction from you to me, you know ? 

Doesn’t matter, baby. I’m always attracted to you. You’re my kink and fetish, you yourself, he said. 

Yeah ? You asked. 

Of course. Plus, I may have a pregnancy fetish but it’s not that much. Like, I’m not going to jump on every pregnant lady I see like some sort of creep. And I’m not crazy to the point of dealing with 20 years of consequences for 9 months of kink. 

Makes sense, you chuckled. So if my belly gets too round because of pizza, that’ll turn you on ? 

I don’t know, he said as he burst out in laughter. Probably not though. I like your belly just the way it is. 

Ok then. Next item ? 

Public sex, he said. That’s a no for me. Obviously. I can’t risk it. Then we have… Quirofilia, the fetish for hands. I don’t really have that either. 

Good. I’ll save on getting my nails done, you joked. 

No, you can still do that. I mean, I love seeing your pretty hands… especially on some places… but it’s just not really a kink. Also, nail biting turns me off. 

Really ? 

Yup. Next is… role play. What do you think about that ? He asked. 

Not really my thing, you said. But if it’s something you like, I’ll give it a try. 

It’s not really my thing either, he said with a smile. Robot fetish ? 

Nope, you replied. You ? 

Neither. I mean, I guess that if I was single and really in need, I’d love to get a sex robot, but the idea doesn’t really turn me on, he said. 

Yeah, you’re just a guy, you teased. 

Probably, he admitted with a laugh. Next is spectrochilia. Do you believe in ghosts ? 

Not really. But if they were to exist, they’d be more scary than sexy to me, you said. 

I agree. Then we have Stygiophilia. That’s a good one, he said. The pleasure of the idea of going to hell or facing eternal punishment. I guess I’d better get going on that one because there’s no way I’m going to heaven so… 

Don’t be silly. Of course you’ll go to heaven. You’re the best human I know, you said. 

Do you even believe in God he asked ? 

Depends. In times of despair, I hope he exists and hears my prayers. Plus, when I look at the marvel of the universe, I think it’s not something random… but I’ve never even read any sacred text or anything, so, not really. How about you ? 

I’d say I’m a Christian, he simply stated. Not churchy or anything, but yeah, I’ve read the Bible and I believe in God. 

I didn’t know that, you said. 

I don’t talk about it a lot. What’s the point ? Everyone has their beliefs. 

True. What’s next ? 

Tentacles. Nope. 

Me neither, you said.

Trichophilia - are you attracted to hair ? 

Are you kidding ? I’m a girl born in the 90s. If anything I’ve been taught to despise it, you said with a laugh. You ? 

Not attracted to it, nope. But I’m also not one of those guys who is disgusted by it. It’s just… hair. 

What’s next ? 

Urophilia. That’s a no for me. You ? 

Neither. 

Thank God. I mean… if you had been into it, I would have respected it, but there’s no way I could be involved in it. 

Yeah it’s gross. Let’s change the subject. What’s next ? You asked. 

Underwear. Well, you know I have a thing for lingerie, obviously, he chuckled. How about you ? 

I like lingerie too, you said with a smile. As for male underwear, I don’t really care, but I like your boxers. 

Then we have… Voyeurism, he said. 

Oh I’m not a voyeur, you said. If anything I am scared to catch anyone I know in the middle of sex. 

Same, he chuckled. But I have to admit that seeing you touch yourself is the hottest thing ever. That gets me really horny, really fast. 

Really ? You asked. 

Fuck yeah, he said. Remember the night I told you I loved you ? 

You blushed at the memory. The whole thing had been caused by his very own sex scene in 8 Mile, of all things. 

I like masturbating for you, you said softly. And I kind of like watching you masturbate too. 

So kind of a voyeur too I guess ? He said. 

I guess. Next ?

Vicarphilia - that’s the… oh, the arousal of hearing someone talk about their sec life. What do you think of that ? 

I guess that can be sexy. Never thought of it before. But talking about sex is sexy anyway. 

True, he said. Even casually like right now… it’s kind of cool and sexy, he admitted. Then we have whips. Once again, not too keen on those. 

Oh, ok, you said. 

You ?

I wouldn’t have minded trying but it’s not necessarily on my list either, you said earnestly. Next ? 

« Wet and messy », he said with a laugh. I do love when you’re all wet and messy.

Isn’t that one about wet food like jell-o though ? You asked. I always thought it’s kind of gross though. 

Oh yeah, he said upon reading the description. Then no, that’s not my thing. Wax play ? 

Maybe, you said. I like the idea of massage candles and stuff. 

Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, he agreed. Then we have yoni eggs. I don’t have a vagina so I don’t really have an opinion on that one, I have to say. 

Yeah… not my thing, you said with a grimace. 

Zappers ? He asked. Like electro-stimulation ? Yup, no thanks. 

It sounds scary, you said as he nodded. 

And there’s the last item on the list : Zentai. Like the latex body suits, he stated. 

Not sure I’d like it, you said. 

Same here. I mean, you’d look hot in one though, but I’ll survive if I never see it. 

That’s it ? We’re done ? 

We’re done, he said. Unless you have more questions for me ? To be fair I asked you a lot of them too. 

You took a second to think. Of course you had tons of questions you’d like to ask him. After all, he was a worldwide renown superstar, so you assumed he must have crazy stories to tell. 

Do you know exactly how many people you have had sex with ? You asked. 

I should have known this one was coming, he chuckled. No, I genuinely have no idea. Anything else ? 

Do you miss the era when you were… you know… getting a lot of action ? Instead of just having one partner ? 

No, he said with a smile. It was fun for a while but it wasn’t fulfilling. When you don’t have a lot of opportunities, you fantasize about it and you think it’s going to be the best thing ever, but you don’t actually get to build a connection with someone, you know ? And the sex is so much better when you have that. Especially with you. 

Do you really like our sex life ? You asked. 

Of course, he scoffed. What ? Do I look like I don’t ? 

No, you said with a smile. But sometimes I worry that I’m not… experienced enough for you. 

You don’t have to worry about that, baby, he said as he took you in his arms. I love fucking you, making love to you… It’s great. Are you happy with our sex life ? 

Of course, you replied. I mean… You already know you’re the best I have ever had. And I love that we’re able to talk about it, too. Thank you for opening up to me, my love. 

I like talking to you, he said. Now, how about a shower ? I’m all sweaty. 

You nodded and you went to the bathroom where you showered together, kissing and exchanging love words. After, you lounged in the living room, mindlessly watching TV as he told you about his day and his meetings. 

How did the meeting with Tracy go, by the way ? You asked. 

Went well, he said with a smile. We talked for a bit and she said she actually feels comfortable to keep working with me, so that’s one less thing to worry about. I would hate it if I had to hire someone else. Sorry, babe, I know you would have loved to see her go. 

I never said that, you defended yourself. 

I know you too well, he chuckled. You don’t have to worry, though. About how she feels about me, I mean. We cleared the air and she said she was just feeling super lonely. 

Do you believe her ? You asked as you squinted. 

I do, he replied. So you don’t have to worry about anything, ok ? 

Ok, you shrugged. I mean, I trust you. By the way, have you slept with anyone else from your team ? 

No, he chuckled. Just her. Why ? Are you jealous ? 

I’m not, you said. But I just want to know if I risk running into someone who’s slept with you, you know ? 

You should be fine, he chuckled. I mean, you don’t risk meeting any ex of mine besides Tracy. Oh, and Kim, obviously. But that’s it ? 

Why would I meet Kim ? You asked confused. 

Well, she’s going to be here at Thanksgiving, he shrugged - as if it were no big deal. 

You looked at him with a confused look. You had agreed to celebrate Thanksgiving together this year, with his family. It sort of made sense, since the two were living together anyway. However, you had absolutely no idea that it would imply meeting his ex - the infamous Kim Scott. The one that people considered as Marshall’s one true love. You were so taken aback that you had no control over your facial expression. 

Anything wrong ? He asked after a few seconds of silence. 

You didn’t tell me that when we talked about Thanksgiving, you pointed out. 

I thought I did, he shrugged. 

I think I would remember if my boyfriend told me his ex-wife would be here, you said sternly. 

Sorry, babe, he said casually. Is that an issue ? 

I mean… yeah, you said frankly. Why would you celebrate Thanksgiving with her anyway ? 

Because she is the mother of my children, he explained. It’s a family holiday.

But she is your ex. You’re divorced, you said. 

Yeah but we will always be family, you know ? He continued. It allows the girls to have both of their parents with them and not have to choose. Especially now that they all have boyfriends and spend holidays with their in-laws every other year. Plus, we’re good, you know ? We get along pretty well so it’s no big deal. 

Ok, you mumbled. I’ll just celebrate with Talia and Jamal, then. 

Not with me ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. I was kind of looking forward to our first holiday together, babe. 

Me too, you admitted. But that was before I knew your ex would be here. 

Why would that change anything ? He asked. 

Because it changes everything, you said. How do you expect me to enjoy it if the woman you married - twice, mind you -, the mother of your children is here ? I’m going to be… intruding. 

No you wouldn’t, he said as he took your hand in his. You’re my girl, you’re the lady of this house. You can’t intrude in your own place. I want you here, with me. 

I don’t know, you said. I don’t feel comfortable. And I bet she wouldn’t either. 

She knows you’ll be here, he shrugged. And she doesn’t mind. I think she’s looking forward to meeting you actually. 

You stared at him in surprise. You definitely didn’t expect to spend your first holiday as Marshall’s girlfriend with his ex-wife being around. He didn’t seem phased by the situation, as if he didn’t see the problem. You, on the other hand, could smell the disaster from ten thousand miles away. Right when you thought you didn’t actually have to worry about another woman in Marshall’s life, you were about to meet his fucking ex-wife. What could go wrong ? Absolutely everything.

[dovesdreaming]

omg hello!! found u in the rory keaner tag 🤗🤗 but one ur blog is super cute and two, may I request a little smthn for rory?

I was thinking like rory helping the reader dye their hair and once they rinse it out & dry it he sees them and is like "😨😍" yk??? and reader convinces him to get a streak in his hair to kinda look like them? sorry lmao pls dm if you have any questions

ꨄStain on my heartꨄ

Hi thank you I decided on a blue theme for now but I’m sure I’ll change my mind again soon!! And as a person with dyed hair I love this request and hope you like what I wrote!! <3

still learning to write stories like this and i don't mind kind constructive criticism!

Warnings: none and is gender neutral! Can be imagined with any colour hair I only used blue in the banner to match with my blog!

You had been bored with your hair for a while. Staring at it in the mirror wondering whether you should cut it, deciding against it after seeing disasters online and nearly ruining your hair last time you tried. You sighed and stared at yourself for a bit longer before deciding on the idea of hair dye.

A few weeks had passed since that day and you finally had everything ready to go when your boyfriend decided to come over and disturb your plans. All he wanted to do was be close to you and not let you out of his sight but this made dying your hair slightly more difficult with his clinginess. You thought of a compromise where he could be close to you and touching you while dying your hair for you. After convincing Rory that he couldn’t mess your hair up and that all he had to do was apply the dye he agreed to help.

Rory got really into the process being interested in how it would look and being extra careful to cover all the hair in dye. He admired you throughout the whole process and was impatient to see the results. He helped wash the dye out your hair scrubbing your scalp with your favourite shampoo but after that you kicked him out of the bathroom so that you could have a big reveal.

Rory looked like a kicked puppy, impatiently waiting to be back in your presence and admire your new hair. He sat on your bed fiddling with his hands and loose threads until he finally heard the hairdryer stop.

You opened the bathroom door and Rory came up to you with wide eyes not saying anything. He continued to silently stare and you started to take this as a bad sign and slowly shrunk into yourself. Rory lit up with a cheek hurting smile and immediately started gushing over how nice it looked, you couldn’t contain your happiness and laughed at his excitement. In the spur of the moment you quietly suggested that you could die a few strands of his hair for him. He seemed hesitant to agree but taking a glance at your new hair he rapidly nodded his head. He couldn’t wait to look like you. He leant in and pecked your lips, grabbing your hand to immediately take you back into the bathroom to do his hair.

Thank you for reading! I hope it was ok. I'm still trying to improve my writing, especially working with dialogue which i will be attempting soon!

[theresthesnitch]

It's about community, y'all.

I’ve found myself recently in a fandom interaction that has left me feeling very uncomfortable, and I want to talk about it. 

I will not be sharing usernames or fic names, so please do not publicly mention who they are if you figure out who this is. 

About a month ago, I was messaged by an account that doesn’t follow me, asking me to read their friend’s fic. The initial message was very flattering–their friend was a big fan of my work, and it would be so nice for them to get a comment from me on it. Honestly, it was such a sweet message, and I said I was busy right then, but I’d make time to read it.

When I opened the fic, it was a username that I didn’t recognize. Which is not terribly surprising, but I do recognize and notice regular commenters and people who regularly interact with me on Tumblr. (Which, by the way, is a good thing. These people all have a special place in my heart, and I love seeing their interactions.) This person also had no other fics published to AO3, and no bookmarks on their account. 

 I am an email hoarder, which means that every comment, kudo, and tumblr follow I get an email notification for is still stored in my email. I searched my inbox for the writer’s username, and nothing came up. I don’t mean nothing significant, I mean not one single comment, kudos, or follow from the account. I searched the account who messaged me, and got the same result. No one single comment, kudo, or follow. 

The thing that may not be immediately obvious from the outside is that many writers connect with each other as well. We share fic recs, snippets, and plot bunnies. We also talk about comments that we love, fans that we enjoy seeing in our notes, and significant interactions. 

Which is to say that the first thing I did was drop this fic with an explanation of what happened into the “fic recs” channel of our discord. Immediately, I find out that this is not a unique situation. Many of the writers in that discord were also approached, either by the actual writer or a friend, and asked to read it. 

I messaged the account again and asked if their friend was operating under a new username because I didn’t recognize them. Which is valid and I know people change their usernames sometimes. The friend responded that they did, but that the friend wouldn’t like them sharing it. I looked into the tumblr that messaged me then, and the account had been set up one singular day before they messaged me, with nothing more than a few art reblogs on their blog. 

At this point, I’m getting a really weird feeling from this, and I decide to just not respond anymore. I’m not going to call them out, but I’m also not going to engage. 

Yesterday, the “friend’s” account sent me another message, asking if I’d read it and telling me again that they can give their friend’s old account name if I really want it. They also mention that their friend read through and commented on a bunch of my older fics–which they did. Between May 24 and June 1, they left 17 comments on some of the very first fics I ever wrote and published. However, the way she tells me this feels very much like a quid pro quo - I commented, now where’s yours? 

I jumped back into the discords of some of my mutuals, and asked about this again. It turns out that all of us have gotten a weird vibe from them, and that this all feels like such a manipulative, creepy way to ask for exposure on your fic. 

And, because I’m me and needed more information, I went back to their fic and looked through the comments and bookmarks. 

There’s an ongoing discussion in many writer’s circles about interactions being lower, particularly comments, which you’ve probably seen crop up around Tumblr as well. While I don’t want to rehash this discussion here, the basic consensus is that most established writers are seeing fewer comments than ever, even when there’s a significant number of kudos. 

This fic has a not insignificant number of kudos, but a surprisingly large amount of comments and bookmarks, comparatively. Enough that just seeing the stats shocked me. I looked through the comments and saw lots of well known fandom writers, as well as some otherwise blank accounts. It strikes me as very odd–especially from a new, blank account and for a one shot without chapters to build up an audience. 

I jumped back in the discord and asked my mutuals about this again. Several people described really weird interactions with this individual. I heard stories about this person being really flattering when they initially reached out, vaguely complimenting the writer, then completely ghosting after the writer comments on their fics. 

I’ve debated for a bit about whether to post on this or not. The entire interaction has left such a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve no doubt that the writer and their friend are the same person, and I suspect some of their comments are fabricated as well. It’s elaborate, to a weird degree, and I feel so uncomfortable by it. 

The thing is, I love talking to people who have read my work. I love getting sent a fic rec. I read so little at this point just due to life and limited time that basically everything I read is something a mutual wrote or something recommended to me. I also really love the “it would mean so much to me if you read this” message, but only if it’s genuine. I have read first fics of new writers who sent me their own work, with their name attached, and asked me to. 

Fandom writing is a community, and that works best when we have a little give and take. But when you’re out there manipulating interactions, building up fake flattery to only not follow through, that breaks down our community. It’s unfortunate, manipulative, and honestly, a bit creepy. 

I don’t know if they just thought we (the writing community) wouldn’t notice, but we did. I’ve talked to other writers about this, and if any of my mutuals had a similar experience, I’d love to hear about it. 

To my “friend” who wrote this fic, I know you’re proud of your fic, but you’re not doing yourself any favors with this behavior. I will not be reading it. I also will not be responding to you or “your friend” any further. I wish you luck, and I hope you find what you’re looking for. 

[the-himawari]

A3! Usui Masumi - Translation [SSR] Gaze of Absolute Zero (1/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Izumi: Hmmm… (…Considering these contents, I guess we should get guys from Spring troupe or Autumn troupe.) (Maybe I’ll try reaching out first. I hope someone’s in their room right now.)

-pause-

Izumi: (No one from room 101 came… I guess they’re out.) (Next up is room 102…)

*knock, knock*

Masumi: Who's there?

Izumi: Ah, Masumi-kun? I have something I need…

*door slams open*

Izumi: !?

Masumi: Ask me anything.

Izumi: T-Thanks. Is Tsuzuru-kun not in?

Masumi: He left for his part-time job… Did you need him?

Izumi: Well, it’s not just Tsuzuru-kun. I have something to discuss with everyone in Spring troupe and Autumn troupe. In any case, is it alright if I ask you then?

Masumi: Of course. Come in.

Izumi: Thanks. Don’t mind if I do.

-pause-

Izumi: So you see, we received this proposal.

Masumi: …

Izumi: We got a request from the Edo Park for a sword fight show. The theme is “exorcists” who eradicate evil spirits. I heard the actors and staff members who were part of the “Shinsengumi” themed play during the Spring-Autumn training camp are also going to be appear in the show. They mentioned they’d love to act together again.

Masumi: So that’s why you need guys from Spring troupe and Autumn troupe?

Izumi: Exactly. By the way, it seems they’re looking to fill these roles…

Masumi: If that's the case—.

-pause-

Citron: I’m home! The tea party with the Madame was lots of fun~.

Omi: Oh, you’re back. Welcome home, Citron.

Izumi: Citron-kun, glad you’re back.

Masumi: You’re late.

Citron: Oh. This mood seems like you were waiting for me?

Izumi: I just had a chat with Omi-kun. I’ll explain what's going on to you too.

-pause-

Izumi: …So that’s the situation. What do you think?

Citron: I'm delighted I get to act at the Edo Park again!

Izumi: Yay, I’m glad to hear that.

Citron: Are Masumi and Omi doing it too?

Masumi: I decided to join the moment Director talked to me about it. I’m playing the role of a ruthless swordsman. It’s in the setting materials.

Izumi: And after discussing with Masumi-kun, we wanted to have Omi-kun play the large, friendly swordsman… It looks like his schedule also works out, so we’ve entrusted that role to him.

Citron: In that case, the only one left is the mobile swordsman!

Omi: It’s noble, not mobile.

Izumi: This role has a similar vibe to Ennis, so we figured you’d be perfect for the job.

Citron: In the last show, I played the role of an evil governor and I didn't even get the chance to hold a sword! This time, I will get to yell you’re under arrest! You’re under arrest!

Izumi: There’s no character going around arresting people… But I think Citron-kun will be able to handle it. How do you feel?

Citron: Of course I’m in!

Izumi: Alright. I’ll ask them for the script, so let’s hold another meeting later.

-pause-

Kondo: Thank you very much once again for accepting our request!

Izumi: The pleasure is ours. Thank you for reaching out to us.

Kusama: I’m Kusama, part of the staff. Nice to meet you.

Izumi: We look forward to working together.

Kondo: We don’t have much time between our swordfight rehearsals and the real show, so we’ll really be counting on you guys.

Omi: Happy to be working together.

Citron: Thank you~!

Masumi: Let's do this.

Kondo: I heard you’ve already read the script thoroughly, so let’s get started with the swordfight rehearsal right away. We’ll split you into pairs to practice. Usui-kun who plays Himuro will be with the soldier playing Okita, Citron-kun who plays Otozaka will be with the soldier playing Yamanami… And Fushimi-kun who plays Amesawa will be with the solider playing Harada.

Masumi: Got it.

---

| next

[nerdieforpedro]

Angel in Disguise

Javier Peña x plus size female reader

This fic and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: a little over 1k

Summary: It's raining and it reminds you of your recent interactions with your best friend Javier Peña.

Warnings: unrequited love, angst, one person you work for should not drive, slight self-esteem issues?, possessiveness

Notes: I haven't posted anything for Javier Peña for a long time. I'm glad I was able to write something. This is one of two for @undercoverpena 's April Showers Challenge.

Main Masterlist/ Javier Peña Masterlist/ Writing Challenges Masterlist

Leaning against your desk, you’re looking out at another rainy day. Thankful that you keep a pair of rain boots in your office and at home. You’re thinking of last month and last week, how you’ve lied to Javier and yourself. It’s for the best though. 

Large drops remain on the window as the sound of the water falling intensifies. Last month you had finally worked up the, well with a shot or two of liquid courage to tell him. Tell Javier Peña that “yeah, we’re friends Javi but I want more from you. Have wanted more from you. I could make you happy, because I know you. We know each other. I can give you something simple, a life together.” One of your favorite dresses, your deep violet one that had the open shoulders you liked. Pretty and not too sexy you felt, just right.

Nothing was right that night. He walked in with a woman you were pretty sure was at least ten years younger than him or maybe she had excellent skincare and always used sunscreen. His hand looked perfect on her waist and so did hers on his. He introduced her to you as his girlfriend of the last six months. You’d heard him mention someone but didn’t think it was the same person. Was she the one that had large mood swings? Javier would never admit it but you know he craves a bit of drama. Something you rarely have any of. Dinner was nice at the bar. She seemed nice. Neither of them stopped smiling nearly the entire night. 

The only silver lining is that you live on a lower floor than Javier so you don’t hear that. You’d go insane if you heard them doing that. You’ve heard the rumors and have gotten the sense (though given your feelings you could be biased. Highly doubtful,) that most of them are true.

That night you went home by yourself, threw off your dress and flopped across the bed. You weren’t sure if the rain came down first or your tears but you do know that you cried yourself to sleep and woke up cold. 

That was last month. Now they’ve been together for seven months.

This week at work you were legitimately busy given that the ambassador you work for has decided to drive drunk and hit a lamppost, damn idiot. Of course he wants to use his diplomatic immunity and the policia would like to make an example out of him. Negotiations are led by you as you represent the embassy. Javier was able to catch you one day, say hello, how are you and ask what you thought of Camilla. Her name is even pretty, like her. She was polite and complimented your dress that night. Nothing bad to say about the woman except she exists or is doing so next to Javi.

You lied right to your friend’s face and told him that you like her, she seemed very sweet, that you three should go out for drinks and that she’s beautiful. The last one wasn’t a lie, she was stunning. The rest of it you’re still unsure how you made it all drop from your mouth so easily. His eyes light up and Javier says something that is as honeyed as it is a stab, “I’m glad you like her. I was worried you might not and then I’d have to wonder if she’s really right for me. You’re the best ángel.” You think you smiled and gave him a hug before going back to dealing with the ambassador issue. It’s a blur. Getting back to your office and stopping yourself from yelling took priority over before getting back on the phone about this drunkard’s problem which is yours.

Finally into the next week, you’ve settled the dispute between the policia and the ambassador. He’s required to pay for the damage and a substantial amount of money to the city of Bogata with a suitable donation to the policía as well. You should have left a few hours ago, but then you might have run into Javier on your way out. You need to steady yourself before seeing him. ‘Just act like I did two months ago. It will be fine.’ That’s what you tell yourself but you know your body will betray you when you see him. You feel the melancholy and longing again. 

The gray skies match your mood. Subdued. Drippy. Unsettled. Foreboding. Closing your eyes, you feel them fall against your cheek again, the tears rolling down. Twisting your body to reach for the tissue box you now keep on your desk, you pat your eyes to see Javier Peña in the middle of your office.

“Hey amiga, qué paso? (friend, what’s up?) You’re crying.” It’s kind that he asks, Javier is always kind. Before you can tell him you’re fine, he’s got an arm around you and kisses your forehead. “What’s wrong?” You won’t tell him why, he’s happy and you know he deserves it. Given the small pieces of how he came to be at the embassy. Broad strokes and rumors are what you know. Javier doesn’t talk about his time in Columbia or pursuing the Cali cartel. When it’s mentioned his face hardens, letting people know to change the subject.

“Just a tough day today, that's all Javi. Thanks.” Your head leans against his chest, breathing in his scent. Keeping your hands around the tissue you’d been dabbing your eyes with. A thought you immediately regret enters your mind:

Could she be an angel in disguise and leave him broken on a rainy day such as this? Maybe Javier would be standing out in the rain? Could you take him against your chest like he’s doing with you now?

No. It wouldn’t be the same. Javier is being a sincere friend to you right now. You would have an ulterior motive. 

A few more tears fall across your cheeks as a gust of wind blows the rain loudly against your window. Even the sky is scolding you:

Leave that man be, you’re the angel in disguise. 

Peeps who want a hug from Javier 😭:

@guelyury @yorksgirl @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @javierpena-inatacvest

@theywhowriteandknowthings @goodwithcheese @maggiemayhemnj @readingiskeepingmegoing @bitchwitch1981

@harriedandharassed @bishtrouille @schnarfer @katw474 @megamindsecretlair

@tinytinymenace @magpiepills @pedroshotwifey