#i blame you aki wtf

[dietlemonadee]

why am i tearing up thinking about ghee roti

[writeiolite]

mom and dad — [ WTF U! 19 ]

❝ You’re close to your dream life: early graduation and big-city opportunities. A one night stand with Oikawa turned into two, which turned to three, which somehow turned into two little lines on a plastic stick. It was nice being able to live your dreams, but suddenly it’s time for you both to wake the fuck up and start being parents. ❞

wc: 1,712

WTF U!: m.list . 19 . 20

A random text to Oikawa one day asking him to pick up his nephews is definitely something to worry about. Akiko usually sends the text, not Tarou.

“Haven’t you watched a single movie? Or experienced any common sense, Akiko? Waiting to bring these things up is never the answer!”

“I’m not the only one that kept this from Tooru. I’m going to tell him tonight because he deserves to know the truth. And stop raising your voice,” she replies evenly, watching her husband furiously dig his thumbs into the small screen of his phone. He looks like a beast — expression feral and fuming, borderline snarling at her with every word.

“I’m not raising my voice, you’re just not hearing me! You never hear me when I tell you to stay out of it — you always have to butt in.”

The last sentence is one that she’s repeated to herself too, but she can’t seem to grasp it. Telling Tarou about the phone call was something she wishes she could’ve skipped over, but he was listening in on the whole thing. Somehow, your relationship with his brother is tearing apart their relationship.

That’s not right at all, is it? Even Akiko knows you two aren’t to blame for her stupid optimism and stupid advice. But it’s so hard. She never meant for this to happen — she didn’t know you’d move to Osaka just like Dayoung, she just wants you both to do what you believe is best. If someone had believed in her like that then she knows she would’ve settled down with Tarou sooner, the two of them probably in a happier place.

But she knows she’s still to blame for this, which is why she wants to come clean and help fix this mess. Or maybe just come clean — she doesn’t need to get involved anymore.

“Mom, Dad, do you need me to get Maki’s bag?” Takeru pokes his head around the corner, his eyes void of stains from his parents’ fighting. They can only hope that means he hasn’t heard anything.

But he’s their son, and he’s learned to cover up his emotions well enough around others. To keep secrets from people important to him.

“Mom and Dad are fighting a lot lately.”

Certain people.

Oikawa’s face scrunches up behind his shaved ice. Maki doesn’t like it too much, but he lets his baby nephew take a few tentative tastes. Just seeing his chubby little face twist in dissatisfaction is enough to make Oikawa smile again.

“About what?” He watches Takeru swallow down some of his cold treat, his youthful expression filled with troubles.

“You and Y/N.”

What? He stares hard at Takeru now, almost dropping the dessert on the baby in his arms.

Like this topic is the most normal thing, Takeru shifts Oikawa’s arm so his baby brother doesn’t become a human snow cone. He’s unfazed by everything at this point. All it takes is one deep breath and he gets everything out in the open.

“Mom was the one that told your girlfriend to leave. And Dad’s mad because this happened last time too, but Mom is mad at him because he’s being hypocritical. Something like that. And then he said that she needs to stop butting in but she said he needs to get more involved if he cares that much because he ‘sweeps it under the rug’ or something.”

The wind blows, whistling through the leaves above them as if to praise Takeru for the speech… but Oikawa’s doing anything but praises. He’s got to hand it to the kid — he’s honest. Brutally honest, as most teens are. And that’s exactly what he needed, but didn’t want.

Aki-chan? His own brother? Dayoung? You?!

He moves on autopilot, legs moving him to the trash, hand tossing the shaved ice and grabbing his phone, thumb tapping the little green phone icon next to Akiko’s contact name. He doesn’t even realize he’s speaking, his own voice sounding foreign. Like the snarl of a sad, broken beast. One without any fight left in him.

“Why did you tell Y/N to leave me? And Dayoung?”

She barely recognizes him too, her eyes meeting Tarou’s who refuses to look at her anyway. This is her burden and her burden alone — even if Tarou is guilty of not stepping in to stop her, he’s never been the one to do so anyway. He knows who he married but he doesn’t know how to stop her from being the enemy of everyone. He merely grits his teeth and tries not to actually bite his tongue. He ignores the nagging thought that their marriage has been defiled.

“I-I didn’t, Tooru-chan. I talked to Y/N last night and I wanted to talk to you tonight ab-”

“It’s Oikawa-san.”

Her phone nearly slips from her fingers. She deserves this at the very least, but it feels worse than she was expecting. The young teen she took care of with her high school sweetheart is just a shadow clinging on to the nightmare on the other end of the phone.

There’s silence on either end as if she’s expecting him to say more. What the fuck is he supposed to say?! That he… he- he fucking what? He has nothing to say to her that would be appropriate for his nephews’ ears. At least Takeru is smart enough to read the room — definitely smarter than his mom — and buckles his little brother into the car seat when they get to the car. Tooru is almost tempted to drive his fist into the metal in frustration while waiting for her to say more.

He settles for yanking the door open and jamming his fingers into the radio’s buttons to connect his bluetooth. Still not satisfied. He slams the door shut while turning the car on, barely even hearing Takeru get into the car and whisper calming words to his brother. Still not satisfied. It’s only when he grinds his teeth together and pounds a fist into the steering wheel and hears Akiko squeak in surprise that he’s satisfied. She needs to talk. Fast.

“Tooru? Where are you going?” Timid.

“Your house.” Terror.

Finally, Tarou looks at her, giving her a firm shake of his head while grabbing his keys. “We’ll come to you. Where are you?” He doesn’t give her any room for argument, taking long strides to the car with Akiko struggling to follow behind.

She probably looks pitiful right now when she shouldn’t. She doesn’t need pity, she needs to fix things. She wants to fix things.

But fixing things is how they got into this mess in the first place, right?

Tooru glances in his mirrors before pulling out of the parking spot, anger still stealing away most of his attention. “Leaving the park.”

“Tooru,” his brother warns.

He scoffs. “So now you’re taking her side? Do you know how she’s ruined my life?! Give her the phone and let her explain!”

“You have my damn kids, Tooru, you better watch your attitude!”

Right, the kids. He forgot he didn’t matter.

Tarou shoves the phone back into Akiko’s hands when he buckles his seatbelt with a twinge of guilt — he hadn’t realized he snatched it away from her in the first place, but god he’s pissed. Still, at least she looks concerned about their sons too even when she’s neck-deep in her own mess. She begins speaking frantically as her husband drives with urgency.

“Don’t go anywhere, okay? I promise we’re on our way there right now. You shouldn’t be driving-”

Tooru honking the horn cuts her off, Amaki’s cries swiftly following. Takeru glances up to see that someone had cut in front of them, unease growing in his stomach. He’s doing his best to keep his brother calm, putting on a brave face like always and stroking over his hair. What else can he do? What would Mom or Dad do to make him feel better? How can he help his uncle and his brother?

“Tooru, I’m serious, please just park the car,” she begs, her mind playing an evil game of demonstrating every worst case scenario. It’s hard to breathe, let alone think or speak her next words with any precision. “I shouldn’t have talked to Dayoung and I shouldn’t have talked to Y/N, but I swear it isn’t what you think. Y/N left by her own choice and she still cares-”

Takeru jumps when his uncle screams over her, the crest of his cheek visible from the backseat. So red…

“Do you think that makes me feel better?!” His voice cracks almost as much as his heart when he chokes out his next words,��“I trusted you!!!”

He uses his small hands to cover Amaki’s ears. If at least one of them can escape from this nightmare then he’d rather it be his baby brother. It doesn’t matter that they’re both trembling because of their sobbing uncle and desperate mother, Takeru just wants to preserve some semblance of normalcy — he recalls the soft memory of his family he once had as his head spins and the world outside the window spins faster.

His heart hurts, his head is aching, and he doesn’t get it! He doesn’t want to grow up like this, he doesn’t ever, ever, ever grow up and be like this. Amaki’s cries don’t get any quieter, rivaling Tooru’s and… Mom’s. Takeru parts his lips to speak, to beg for them to stop because he’s tired and shaking and-

“Dammit, Akiko-”

Dad never talks like that.

“-you better fix this! And Tooru-”

It’s so loud. I wanna get out of the car but we’re going too fas- Please just stop! Please don’t cry, Mom, please stop yelling please just-

“-I’ll kill you if you don’t tell me where the fuck you are!”

Stop!!!!

He squeezes his eyes shut and caves so instinct can take over. He always did this when he was terrified as a kid — Mom once said she would sit with him and cover his ears to muffle the world to replace it with her comforting protection. And while it’s a little quieter, the makeshift earmuffs don’t stop the gut-wrenching crunch of metal.

It finally stopped.

don’t hate me :’’’’’’)

also thank you @loneveenas​ for beta reading this🥺i appreciate it tons!!

{ taglist — tell me if you want to be added or taken off: @vventure​​ @ilikeyourstory​​ @infamouswhitepawsies​​ @lapofthegodss​​ @svtbitch​​ @jaehyunluvcult​​ @for-ests​​ @spikertrash​​ @booklover240​​ @ushimiyas​​ @skysixx0523​​ @kozukens​​ @toofickleheart​​ @ksyy​​ @keigosbitch @srhlsx​​ @moonchild-kun94​​ @thissilverbadger​​ @sugarshoyo-main​​ @n3verending16​​ @asexualmarauder​​ @taeiliee​​ @samwritesss​​ @kiwiialoe​​ @theshirleygamer​​ @tycrackculture​​ @doenerfee​​ @awkwardali6106​​ @icythotsenpai​​ @dyosatalaga​​ @vanderaliwaal​​ @preparingtofall​​ @yams046​​ @asahi-is-jesus-periodt​​ @atsumunotsangwoo​​ @sugawsites​​ @nekoma-hoe​​ @readeretal​​ @starryhyun​​ @kakaokenma​​ @iridescentsunli​​ @marinovakovich​​ @yammmers​​​ @abi-inthesky​​​ @yeahhemmings-​​​ @ln-37 @sonotvic​​​ @aegeanblues​​​ }

[noturtypicaldumbblonde]

agree with your review sm! see about audrey, i get that she was stressed and she accidently outed aki at the dinner table but then she goes on to out him to zoya like wtf?? then she says that it wasnt her fault and starts blaming aki, how is he to be blamed for you outing him several times @ audrey?? as if that wasn't enough, she doesn't even let aki know that his parents know now and that poor boy was completely blindsided when his horrible father outed him in on tv and yeah im pissed again

hey anon! i agree with everything you just said!!

if you read my review im going to guess you already know how i feel about audrey so i won't hold myself back on this one

i'm starting to believe she is a psychopath cause there is no other logical explanation!! if you want a more in depth explanation read my "why i dislike audrey hope" post and/or wait for my part 2 cause BOY I HAVE THINGS TO SAY.

but basically 1. how she treats her mom, 2. and aki, 3. and seems to use max for sex whenever things go wrong, 4. she outed aki multiple times, 5. and never gave him a heads up, 6. she makes everything about herself, 6. created a hostile environment at the hospital, 7. she creates a hostile environment everywhere actually, 8. never takes responsibility, 9. or apologizes, 10. she never feels bad for the harm she causes.

i hate audrey hope and i think the feeling will be permanent

clary, aka, audrey hater number one <3

[momowoah]

Gossip Girl 2.0 Ep 7 Spoilers (might have one or other from 8-9)

This first scene looks so good actually

Didn't think we would get threesome scenes

"That looks better in a pillow than it sounds out loud"

I love Audrey's hairstyle + her making bread and thinking about that lmao

Aki also thinking about it

I like Jodie

The scarf lol

She is extravagant

Wink

I'm loving the flashbacks

"He probably went insane writing all those posts about himself"

Kate Keller is proving herself to be the only teachers with morals in 1b. I actually like her now.

"Buongiorno, amanti"

Love their awkwardness

The hand grab

Poor Z

Can they stop looking at each other when talking to her?

Aki and Zoya talking? "Hey Z, what's wrong?" That was cute

"What's your workout plan?" Jordan wth

Kate, once again, having morals

Rafa playing victim, fck him

Hallway scene time

Audrey running out and Julien covering her mouth is perfect

Why did they choose the school chapel for this? Just why?

Max removing himself? Remember when he was the one asking "Don't you like me in the middle?" Character development /j

This scene would be so much cuter if O meant it

Wtf was the applauses though

The fact that they pull that dog out of pockets multiple times is hilarious but makes me feel bad for him

"I have to go" S would be proud ❤️

"This is me trying" playing over this scene made me feel things

They have sm chemistry

Jodie is certainly in the top three parents of gg

A shame Lola will probably disappear from the show

"We're not allowed to ask until 2026"

I didn't catch the "What a lovely... What a lovely sweater" the first time lmao

Why is Max there? He doesn't even like Zoya

The way they just crash Zoya's party, amazing

"Delightful"

Coatrack Jordan + "Heads up!" from Max

Is Tavi Gevinson really short or are Max's dads' actors super tall? She looked so small next to them

The dinner scene resembled the OG, all the parallel conversations completely ignored by everyone else

"Being... Being..." He gets better next ep but fuck Obie <3

"Audrey and I are gonna be too busy fucking Max again anyway" I DID NOT EXPECT AKI TO BE THE ONE TO SAY IT, I LOVE IT (the coughs lol)

The "I'm proud of you"s are even more hilarious, "follow-up questions"

MAX SHOULDN'T BLAME HIMSELF. THE MULTIPLE ADULTS SHOULD'VE SAID IT WASN'T HIS FAULT. WTF.

And I thought that was the worst thing Davis had ever done, rip me in episode 8

Many people said Zoya's realization was out of nowhere but I think it made sense

Julien telling the truth, thanks

Rafa should be a huge antagonist, not the guy with a redemption arc and moral lesson <3 he should also go to jail

This is like the first time Kiki and Audrey are happy, I'm glad

"or because he doesn't want me to testify against him?" - first of all, very og 6x10 of them, second, at this point I knew things would get real

Jodie closing the car door, Audrey running to them, their hug, their walk, petting the dog... Throuple ftw

Btw I'm totally buying Obie's redemption arc

[clandestine-j]

Gossip Girl, EP. 4 Reaction & Review

Finally, I've gathered all of my thoughts for ep. 4! I had this really cool extra post to the intro and had more thoughts but then I lost the entire thing so I had to re-write the entire post SO, yeah, this is all I have for this part. Also, if anyone has those bts photos please let me know, i’m looking for the ones that have the audience reacting to max’s dick pick from the fashion show, aki biting his lip. please send. 

ADULTS:

Kate & CO: JAIL JAIL JAIL. We had that one teacher being turned on by incest and ruining kids lives. DO BETTER IN JAIL. I'll say tho, the male teacher makes a better gossip girl, he doesn't feel bad and is enjoying it. Kate could never.

Rafa: JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. JAIL. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. I hate that they showed us this man having common sense. This man, pushing Max away sexually but understanding that he needs serious help. I hate that they just didn't have them flirting and show us him saying no, I'm so upset. I'm even more upset that I fell for him being the character to subvert the trope. I can only blame myself but blame HBO as well. I also hate the comments saying it's okay or well, the show needs scandal and spice. They could've been photographed together in normal clothes, just standing next to each other. Max could lie to GG. There are a bunch of ways these could become an IC scandal without having them cross the line. If you support this, you need help.

OUR KIDS:

Max: My boy needs therapy, lots of it. Maybe rehab. On one hand, he's being taken advantage of because he's clearly going through something and more than just his dads and he has been for a while. His escapism is dangerous and anyone would be able to prey on that. On the other hand, I need someone to beat his ass. His lines to Rafa about money and career were punch worthy and out-right willing to lie about Rafa doing something to him, even just to press Rafa's buttons. He needs help, he needs to be taught boundaries, he needs a lot. And why were the only two people concerned for his week-long disappearance Aki and Audrey, the whole squad should've had the guns out, friends since childhood, sure.

Obie: My boy, I get that you didn't like where you saw Zoya headed. I get that in some aspects you were right about her being a little too involved and suspecting Julien. That being said, she was having real problems and troubles and needed support. Do better. Obie still isn't the worst character on the show and many of them are SOOOO much worse. He doesn't deserve the all of the smoke he's been getting when their are better people for it.

Monet & Luna: I hate them as people and love them as characters that move the plot. I guess I could see how they thought the fuck school thing was horrible (and Julien too since she planned on showing Obie). The directors cut, I don't think they thought it'd ruin Zoya, they're just fucking cruel and found it funny. Let's box. Also, why are ya'll so pressed over this CHILD. Like get over it, find a real up-coming social media star. 

Aki & Audrey: My good sis, you brought a gay man to make Aki jealous. I'm sick, it was fucking funny. Her comments at first were off the wall, I wish the writers would've done something else but a lot of woman don't see it as normal so I sort of get it. I'm glad she came around by the end. And Aki...he was a little spicy this episode, my boy was ready to pop off a bit AND I AM HERE FOR IT. My dude said, 'I don't regret kissing him' I was THROWN. Aki being with Audrey helps me like her more because she's a bitch that's still ready to gun for a now 15 year old girl but her and Aki's relationship is cute. They could break up and be fine which is great, I love that their relationship is really more than just dating and the friendship is strong. I'm here for it.

Zoya: It's just bad writing but my head canon is trauma. Trauma from her moms death death, trauma from the past and current bullying that caused her lash out. I felt like this was her breaking point (so far) and anything gossip girl related as always came around to Julien. If she trusted Julien more, she wouldn't have thought of her as the person causing her issue's but she doesn't trust her. They were civil but even at the end of ep 2. Her 'hell yeah' to Julien about bonding was too dry, too dry. I think a big part of her just doesn't trust Julien and she'll always think the worse because she's seen mostly the worse. And that video, horrible, I'd hate everything about my birthday too after that and even before. Her emotions during the scene and the talk with Julien, ouch. And while I'm happy that Zoya found herself in the end, YES GIRL POP OFF. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS THE FLAVOR. I WAS WAITING FOR THIS AND I WANT MORE. I DEMAND MORE. I SEE A SPARK OF A BITCH, LET HER OUT GO, GO ALISON DELAOTRUINES ON THESE BITCHES.

Julien: Once again, I love Julien as a character, I know she's supposed to be struggling and for that, It's fun to watch her BUT. Julien could never be on my team, she's too wishy-washy. That is my issue, she's too, just...flip-floppy with no substance. Like, when she does things wrong, they're expected  to be forgiven / are forgiven without true reflection or anything on her part. She fucks up, she see's its wrong and then she says sorry and goes on it does it again. This episode was just the worst example, like, the moment she heard buffalo, she was ready to send in a tip. Instead of just doing the party normally and being best because she's hear, she sends the video to Monet. She believes Luna and Monet (Monet talking about her throne being taken when Zoya isn't even an influencer) and she eats it up. They were the ones who did the dick pick thing, like girl, THINK. And why does she never get the full plan, why would she not watch the video or why is she so shocked that Luna and Monet would play something like that? She knows them. Friends since childhood? Sure. Using your moms name to make the party about charity? SIS, THE FEUD IS NOT WORTH IT. She says she wants to be sisters but then she switches up so fast and the witches up again, it's whip-last and I'm sick. I hate that she's doing this to her and I hate even more that's is the writers fault. I don't mind a character having personal conflict but make it a conflict. Like after four episodes, why is she still friends with her sisters bullies? At the end of the episode, she says she's gonna tell them to lay down their weapons, NO, shut it down. correct them. make it clear and make it known. I love my girl because she's flawed but I wish they'd linger on things and have her really think about it. I was fine with the i'm sorry speech up until the camera part.

Other random thoughts

fuck the rafa max thing again, i'm not over, i will never be over it

evan mock isn't the best but he does give me face at times, his 'wtf stare', little sly looks, the 'wtf' moment when audrey first asked him if he was gay like 'this bitch' also, give him more annoyed, irritated scenes, he gives in those

have julien go full nice or full evil for a while, pick a side and stick with it for more than one episode

i wish zoya was a bitch at her old school but i'm fine with this too, it explains why she was so reactionary when it came to the bullying at constance, not again!

i wish we could've seen julien talk with davis after that stunt

nick and davis, KISS, the ride scene was 100%

don't talk about obie so soon

i like that she chose to be with julien for the night, it was cute

emily makes these faces that i can't get with

eli brown is a good actor, that shot of him during the traumatic reveal

i will say, zobie might be boring but when they talk, they talk, their communication is p good, i don't hate it

i’d be here for obie x aki bc they’re friends, they got chemistry, aki was giving look lil up and downs this episode, aki was giving a lot of looks this ep, honestly, idk i just don’t want him heart broken 

aki menzies is still my comfort character

i couldn't take rafa serious with his ass out,

whitney's acting in that talk scene, perfect, my girl had me in tears because DAMN

jordan is pretty good but in that scene, go girl, give me nothing

fuck max and rafa

max lied about his dads or at least one, AT LEAST one, i don't think they'd do that, he saw his in and took it

aki and aud, just have that open relationship, ya'll will make it, the way he tucked into her, it was so sweet

davi and nick secret relationship plot

jail for all of the teachers, once again

the hallway scene was great, the cinematography is been clutch overall

music wasn't as jarring

that's about it! i have more thoughts on the show overall that might be another post, they have a lot of amazing ideas but they need to stick with one and flush it out is the overall gist, i'm still into it!

can't wait for five bc i love the angst that's about to hit.

[shytiff]

Mar 2021 Wins

1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.

2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao

3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang

4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow

5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*

6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(

7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)

8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo

9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism

10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.

11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol

12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are

13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish

14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.

15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,

16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.

17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,

18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo

19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone

20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good

21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious. 

22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed

23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary

24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa

25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)

26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world

27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya. 

28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling

29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya. 

30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while. 

31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol

[momowoah]

Just watched the last three episodes of gossip girl and I'm mad at everyone but Luna, Zoya and Max. I guess I can't complain about gg characters being selfish and oblivious to other people's feelings but... omg

Spoilers below

I love Audrey and Aki but like... They did kinda treat Max like trash these last 3 eps. He rightfully called them out when they showed up at his doorstep, and then they just dropped him and starting looking for a new third? At least we got the scene with Jamison out of it (it was funny), but like. Then they scheduled him between them???? Like, what???? And there was a whole of two (2) good scenes between them aka the one at the bar and the one they became a throuple but like... GG loves to breakup characters and I don't want Aki and Audrey to breakup despite liking the throuple so the all or nothing attitude has me worried... And that scene in bed was not long enough (even though I loved the dance scene). Also, Aki and Audrey were doing just fine without anyone else in ep9 but in ep10 suddenly something was missing? Ugh. Also what was that plot of Aki getting arrested? And what was that tiktok?

I'm not that upset at Monet because I like her being mean but idk if it was her or her mother but she kinda annoyed me. Maybe she would've annoyed me a lot less IF WE ACTUALLY GOT THE MONET CONTENT WE WERE PROMISED. A scene of her writing in a notebook and two of her mother are not enough. Also there has been no real effort to include Monet in the group, Luna is the only one of the two who gets scenes (and barely). In conclusion I'm not exactly mad at Monet, but what we got of her wasn't good enough. Also does she have her own minions around so she can watch them make out when she needs inspiration? Lol

Now, Obie... It's just kinda the fact that I only like him when he's with Julien. But also idk. One week "I love you", the next "I need to find myself outside you", the next "hey I actually like someone else now but we all know I'm eventually coming back to you". He's confusing.

Now Julien,,,, congrats for her for going on war with gg AT THE VERY LAST SECOND (honestly I don't want to wait 6+ months for this) but just like the 3ish people who said so in the eps I think she's completely self-obsessed, always goes back to who she was before after every character development (this happened in GG since the og but I hoped it was over by now), can't handle problems and blames everyone but herself for them, and completely ignores her friends feelings of they're not about her. Also wtf happened with the Davis plotline? Obviously not the last we've seen of him since Nick took the money but like... It was the main plot for two whole episodes and was basically solved in a single one? GG made one post about Julien with absolutely no sources (at least I didn't catch one) and suddenly all's forgiven and she's no longer cancelled? Idk

Also about the three I wasn't mad at. I actually am kinda mad at Zoya for what she did in ep 10 (and at Max and Luna too but just because I woke up annoyed today and don't actually know why they annoyed me. Didn't enjoy watching Max in ep 10 and 11 and I guess that's it. Plus wanted Luna to have an actual relationship and not an episode saying she doesn't want one yet). But Shan redeemed her in 11 so all's well. Also I didn't have captions so I couldn't understand Shan really well but hopefully she'll get screentime in the next season and neither Luna or Monet will lose screentime for it.

On the teachers? I hate all of them. Didn't like even Keller today. Wendy changes sides more than Obie does. Honestly wish they had lost Gossip Girl to an unknown someone. I want omniscient Kristen Bell narrations, not three people with really questionable morals doing something without even understanding why (and like their predecessor still thinking they are better than everyone else). Excited for the war and whatever Monet's planning? Yes. But like, not enough.

On other notes genuinely though Pippa and Bianca were going to kiss when they started saying I love you

Max and Luna stay the best friendship of the show

Hoping we'll get actually good and long throuple scenes next season

Loved watching Julien betraying everyone she loves

I want to know all their secrets and see if GG can figure out what's true and what's lie

+ Cyrus, Eleanor, Dorota, Vanya and their kid? I was too distracted being annoyed at everyone else but I loved they showed up and Eleanor's advice to Kiki and her saying Audrey was like Blair <3

++ about 10 hours from now I'll rewatch the eps in 1.0 speed and with captions so I'll actually understand what's happening and hopefully be less annoyed. But in the end that's the Gossip Girl I love and hate. There's no fun in having likeable characters, love watching all of them go bad. Anyways.

[momowoah]

Rewatching GG 2.0!

Time for EP 3 ^^

The intro voiceover felt very GG I love it

Monet's advice seems a lot like OTH's Karen lol

Zión Moreno is definitely the only person who can look that good in those glasses

Monet has points

More Lunet × Audrey, I really want to know what happened there

"Did you kill someone?" Callback to the most insane plotwist ever in a teen show, 14 yo me was shocked

I love Audrey talking to Julien and Aki talking to Obie, they finally truly feel like friends

"made out" Aki I'm sorry but you barely kissed

Max in the middle of the patio completely oblivious

I love Luna and Monet's one-liners

Max is so excited to party with Julien lol

That suit does not look comfortable

It's so tight he can barely talk in it lol poor Gideon

Still don't get why their parents were so okay with them going to the play but whatever. They've seen worse ig

As an expert in bs-ing papers, I think Obie is just saying anything that sounds right

Ex-gf talk? Really

I love Julien's cat suit

"I'm in my underwear on the Daily Mail!"

Wooo

Time for my favorite Lunet scene

Their reaction reading the blind item lol

Lola is <3

I just noticed Julien was almost crying

Julien and Max realizing their fathers had been hiding secrets at the same time is hilarious

Bro I wish they had gotten Rafa fired, but the show would be way less interesting without him being the villain

Obie is eventually going to get kicked out of the group, I can feel it

I've seen the scene of Aki and Audrey confronting Max so many times I'm almost memorizing it

Julien/Max friendship is also <3

How did Luna reference like 10 different things in one line?

Aki and Max scheming against his father>>>

Zoya exiting the car paralleling Julien before the fashion show in ep1...

Rafa really was manipulating him from the start

Julien stealing Obie's candies and saying it's the least he can do lol

"Why? Do you want to date her too?"

OH SO YOU LIKE WHEN SHE EXPRESSES HER OPINION AS LONG AS IT'S CONVENIENT HUH? Fck Obie

Theater nerd Zoya is everything I need in life

Rafa realizing this isn't what it looked like

Maybe do not have this conversation with your son right next to you? Idk, just a thought

I hate Roy. Blames his child for his breakup and then has drinks with the teacher that was abusing him.

Obie can't even apologize properly, wtf are you even saying

I kinda like him sometimes but sometimes I hate him

Teachers go to jail challenge <3

This scene of Audrey/Aki/Max is one of my favorites so far. Thomas Doherty's acting is just >>>>

Once again, Rafa go to jail, I hate how he smiles

The teachers finally realizing they might be crossing a line

Lunet, the real queens of Constance