#i bet I could write a whole essay on this man

[meangirls-imagines]

Hi bubby! hey, could i get a smut fic/imagine with top! regina teaching an inexperienced y/n sex stuff? y/n is all like "she is jst teaching me" but regina definitely has a crush on y/n and is taking the opportunity to make a move on reader?? lots of praise, size difference, thigh riding? pls? ^^ thanks

Sex Education

Description: Reader and Regina are partnered for a project in health class. Regina learns that reader hasn't had ✨spicy✨ time before and offers a helping hand to her crush.

WARNINGS: top!regina, bottom!reader, praise kink, size kink (regina is 5'10 and reader is 5'3), thigh riding (reader receiving), oral (regina and reader receiving), fingering (reader receiving), regina has a mommy kink hehe, aftercare, regina is a warning herself.

18+!!!!!! Get your holy water. Amen

Regina George always got what she wanted.

New car? Her dad had it for her within hours.

New shoes? Same-day shipping.

New flavor of the month? She had a line of North Shore students to choose from.

The only flavor Regina wanted, was one she had never even thought of tasting until recently.

Y/N Y/L/N.

The girl was a nobody to everyone at North Shore, but as of lately, she was everything to Regina. The blonde had noticed Y/N one day in health, trying to keep up with Coach Carr's weird lesson plans.

The girl had been nibbling on the end of her pen, listening to the droning sound of the man's voice as he tried to explain condoms to the class. Regina's eyes stay glued to the girl's mouth the whole class, the blonde imagining the filthiest things.

She had told Gretchen to get as much information on the girl as she could for her, which thankfully for Regina, didn't take long. She learned that Y/N had moved to North Shore halfway through their freshman year, played softball, and was gay.

Regina could already taste the victory.

For the next few weeks, the blonde was obsessed with Y/N. Going as far as to stay after school and watch the girl workout with her teammates. Y/N was noticing the attention she was getting from Regina, as did her friends, but she shook it off as Regina just playing with her mind.

It all came to a head a week later, as Coach Carr read out Y/N and Regina's names to be partnered up. The blonde smiled smugly at Y/N, making her blush deeply. As the man explained their "project" (he told them to go watch porn and write a paper about it), Regina moved over to sit next to Y/N.

"So. I know you workout after school, but how about you come over so we can do this project and...get to know each other more?" Y/N couldn't do anything but nod. The girl had no idea what she had just signed up for.

Hours later, the girls were in Regina's room, the blonde scrolling through PornHub, trying to find a semi interesting video. Y/N was trying to figure out how to write an essay about porn when Regina spoke up.

"So, what's your preferred category of porn, baby?" Y/N blushed deeply. "O-oh. I don't watch it." Regina looked at the girl curiously. "Really? That's adorable, baby. I'm honored to take your porn virginity."

Y/N's blush got even deeper. Regina instantly noticed. "What's wrong baby? Are you embarrassed? Don't be. It's just porn." Y/N shook her head and tried to go back to her outline but Regina gently grabbed her chin to stop her.

"Are you embarrassed about something else, sweetie? You can tell me. We're friends now, this is what friends do." Y/N didn't think that was true but she knew Regina was right somehow. Y/N sighed and whispered.

"I've never had sex with a girl before."

Regina felt like she hit the lottery. Oh, she was going to ruin this girl. "That's okay baby. You don't have to be embarrassed. If you don't mind me asking, who did you lose your virginity to?" Y/N looked down at her lap. "It was Jack on the football team." Regina smiled softly at the girl. "Oh, you sweet thing. I bet he didn't even make you finish, did he?"

Y/N shook her head. "It was more of an enjoyable experience for him." Regina nodded and rubbed Y/N's arm, pretending to ignore the goosebumps that formed. "Well, I have experience in making girls feel good. How about I help you out? Make you experience how you first time should've gone."

Y/N hesitantly nodded and the blonde smashed their lips together. The kiss started out soft and sweet but Regina turned it into a fiery, passionate make out. She pulled the shorter girl onto her lap, hands automatically going to her ass.

Y/N moaned at the contact, giving Regina the chance to begin marking up her neck. "Fuck. You're gonna look so pretty with my marks all over you baby." Y/N whimpered and began to softly grind against Regina's thigh. The blonde smirked and grabbed Y/N's hips, guiding her.

"Oh, my sweet girl, you just need some relief don't you? Don't worry, Mommy will take care of you." Y/N felt heat shoot straight to her core as she tried to grind faster, but the blonde kept her pace. "No, no baby. I wanna enjoy this. I'm gonna ruin you for anyone else. You're only gonna want me. Understand?"

Y/N nodded. "Yes, Mommy." Regina groaned. "And such good manners. I'm keeping you forever baby. And since you've been so good, use Mommy's thigh to get yourself off and you'll get a reward."

Y/N began to grind faster, desperate to please the blonde beneath her. Regina watched as the girl rode her thigh like a mad woman. She smiled at the desperation in Y/N's movements. She put her hands up Y/N's shirt, grabbing at her breasts as the girl moaned loudly.

"Cum whenever you need baby. You're doing so good." That was the breaking point for Y/N as she stiffened, her orgasm washing over her as Regina whispered praises to her. Y/N slumped against the blonde, Regina kissing her temple.

"Take your time baby, we have all the time in the world."

Y/N was now on her back, fully naked, watching Regina strip. "Since you've been so good, I told you that you would get a reward." Y/N nodded excitedly as Regina slowly crawled up the bed, kissing her way up Y/N's body.

Y/N was curious to know what her reward was when Regina crawled all the way up to Y/N's face, her pussy on full display for the girl beneath her. "Mommy is going to let you eat her pussy baby. We're gonna do something fun."

Regina turned and straddled Y/N's face, still hovering. "While you eat Mommy's pussy, Mommy is going to eat your pussy baby. Sound fun?" Y/N nodded and pulled Regina's pussy closer to her face and began to eat her like she was her last meal.

Regina was caught off guard but moaned at the feeling. "Oh fuck. Such a good girl aren't you baby?" Y/N moaned and Regina leaned down and gently sucked Y/N's clit into her mouth, causing the girl's hips to buck.

Regina smirked and began licking and sucking harder. Y/N was moaning into her pussy and the vibrations sent shivers down her spine. They began to bring each other to a shared high. Regina wanted Y/N to cum before her, since she had been so good and expertly slid two fingers into Y/N's core.

The girl moaned loudly as the blonde began to pump her fingers. Y/N kept eating Regina's pussy as she desperately wanted the blonde to feel good. Regina could tell Y/N was getting close, as was she. The blonde spoke up. "You can cum whenever, angel. Mommy wants to make you feel good. You've been such a good girl."

Y/N felt the pleasure bubble burst as Regina's words took her over the edge, the girl cumming all over Regina's fingers. Y/N cumming so pretty for her set her off as she came hard in Y/N's mouth. They helped each other ride out their highs as Regina adjusted and laid next to Y/N.

She looked at the girl, who had her cum covering the lower half of her face. She looked blissfully fucked out as Regina smirked at her work. She leaned over and kissed Y/N, also licking her cum off her face, moaning at the taste of herself.

The blonde got up, smiling at the whine Y/N let out. "Hang on baby. I gotta get you cleaned up." Y/N unwillingly let Regina go to the bathroom to grab a damp towel.

The blonde gently took the towel and wiped between Y/N's thighs, cleaning the mess as Y/N twitched. "Shhh...baby. I'm almost done. My good, sweet girl. So perfect." Y/N melted into the mattress at the praise.

The blonde finished her job and cleaned herself quickly before grabbing clothes for her any Y/N. After gently wrestling Y/N into the clothes, the blonde walked to the mini fridge she had in her room and grabbed a water, a gatorade, and a banana and gently coaxed Y/N to take the snacks.

Y/N drank all the gatorade, three quarters of the water and ate the banana and Regina pulled the girl into her arms. "You did so good for me baby. My sweet angel. All mine, huh baby?" Y/N nodded sleepily. "All yours, Mommy."

The next day in school, dressed in a pink hoodie a size too big, and covered in a fresh set of hickies, Y/N walked with her new girlfriend to Health class. No one said a word when Regina pulled Y/N into her lap, whispering what their classmates assumed the dirtiest things in her ear, the two girls fully ignoring Coach Carr.

No one said anything about the new couple, knowing better than to ask questions.

[not-so-rosyyy]

quite random but i could write a whole essay about this video. the way it always makes me want to lie down on the train tracks everytime i watch it because it's soooo important to me that girls are loved in all their parts, even the ones that some people find exhausting/annoying. like this man is so pop culture and internet-aversed he probably doesn't even understand half the things she's sending him but i bet he's there haha-ing every single one and asking her to explain what he didn't get so he could reference them in a random conversation one day. he was CHUCKLING SOFTLY FFS being reminded of the hundreds of unserious stuff he sifts through everytime he opens that app for work. like instead of treating it a waste of time, he genuinely finds it fun just scrolling through her DMs. like instead of finding it an inconvenience, it's actually one of his favorite things.

i love that for my sister, truly. may every girl be loved by their partners like it's not a chore.

[applesandbannas747]

i wanna hear your thoughts on the fence challengers: long shot preview pages if you want to share!

oh mAN I have so many and they are all over the place!!

The first one is a little thing, but I bet Seiji had a crush on Marcus Washington when he was a kid--Nick's horror, Harvard's teasing, and Seiji's indignant blush imply as much.

And a fun fact, Jo posted a mini preview of baby Seiji to Patreon on February 14th...maybe I'm reading into it too much, but that's nothing new XD

Next couple of things are about the scene with the trophy case. It was really interesting and fun to see side-by-side redraws of Robert! It really illustrates the way the style has evolved, and also I gOTTA say it feels like Jo is more invested in Robert based on the level of detail she put in--like it's not just a style comparison, it's also just obvious a lot of attention was put into these shots when a) she could have just reused old shots (which she's done before, so I know it was an option), or kept it more simplified like she did when drawing the original shots.

I also think it's sweet that the redraws have Robert looking much more like Jesse than the originals.

And I am sure I will get flack for this, but I have incredible second-hand embarrassment from Nick leaving his newspaper clipping + note in the trophy case jfhdasl like bestieee noooo anyone can see that shit now oh my god please stooop

Onto some Nichoji thoughts! I love that Seiji's been confirmed as a before-bed reader! Him having a Kindle makes sense for the sheer efficiency of it too lmfao. Of course it's also adorable to see him in reading glasses <3 And then my favorite detail is Nick's stupid nightlight...notice where it is?

Rather than illuminating Nick's side of the room, it's peeking around the curtain and lighting up Seiji's reading, which is beyond adorable and sweet. I wonder whether Seiji stole it or Nick put it there knowing Seiji likes to read before bed, and I love both scenarios.

Also, it's fucking adorable that as soon as Nick mentions their date appointment, Seiji takes off his glasses and lowers his Kindle because it's got his full attention and investment.

And a quick pitstop to the locker rooms!

I like the visual metaphor here with Aiden and Bobby both very casual about changing and both literally having their shirts open; meanwhile, Seiji's straightening the cuffs on his button-down, which is already neatly tucked in and complete with his tie. It just highlights how Seiji's a lot more closed off than the others, and I think this was a neat trick to remind us of that.

In regards to plot, I'm still...really disappointed in the pacing. I know most people feel like it's a slowburn/it's taken a long time to develop, but if you waited to read Fence at all until it was complete and then read it all in one sitting, I think you'd see how unbalanced it is. Williams says that their first match will be in three weeks back right after tryouts:

which means everything between issue 12 and CHALLENGERS has happened in 3 weeks. Seiji and Nick's relationship is so sweet and cute, but it went from resentful rivalry to puppy love overnight with very little 'screen time' dedicated to the actual transition from resentment to friends (which I could write a whole essay on but this is not the post for that lmfao). Furthermore, the fact that it's the first match of State Championships rather than first match of the season is crazy to me. I'll admit, I didn't fence in high school--it wasn't even an option because we didn't have a team. And despite hours of research, the structure of high school team fencing is not entirely clear to me. However, I do know that typical high school sports go through the season, facing every other team in their division or whatever. Based on performance in those matches, they can qualify for state, and then their win ratio determines their seeding order for the state championships that happen in like 1-2 days. Seeding order is who you go up against in a bracket, so it's what this diagram is, basically:

(side note, but it appears there are 24 schools competing at state). Again, fencing could be different, but it kinda seems to me like we skipped over the season and went right to State Championships, which just cuts out so much development and build-up. It's like we're speed-running the entire story to get to the end faster. We cut out showing the development in the romance, and now we're cutting out the development of the plot. There's still plenty that we can do at state, of course, but imagine how much more it would mean to see Nick fencing in front of Robert if we'd built that up more. I just don't understand how we spent 12 issues on try outs, 4 on a practice match, 8 on camp, and none on the fencing season. It feels so abrupt and unbalanced. Tryouts and camp were my favorites arcs because they felt pretty well-paced as self-contained pieces of the story. I just feel like we needed waaaaay more relationship development between those two arcs to be satisfying, and I feel like there should be waaaaay more build up during the fencing season between camp and State Championships.

and now, the moment you've all been waiting for: my devastation over Eugene's role (???) in the story. I honestly question why he's in the story at all--at this point, it would have made more sense to have him flat-out not make the team. Except that keeping him this long lowkey backs up the theory I've had on his role since Striking Distance/RIVALS: Eugene is here to make everyone else look better/cooler/more impressive. The very first thing that struck me when reading the first look was this:

The dialogue here suggests that only one reserve actually gets to be on the team in the end, and the reserve is Nick. And, worse, everyone expected it to be Nick. Sure, it's sweet that Seiji thinks Nick's the better fencer, but all I can think about is how hard Eugene's worked for ten years trying to make the team as opposed to Nick's three months of fencing. Now, I love an underdog story. But it's interesting because Pacat stated in an interview (I'd have to go find where for the specific quote) that he always feels bad for the person who's been working to be #1 their whole lives only to be knocked out of the running by an upstart underdog--which I've always assumed would influence the path taken in Fence...and it seems like we may well let Seiji and Jesse remain above Nick in skill (or at least it seems like we won't be dethroning Seiji, even if we go for Jesse), but Nick's overcoming smaller obstacles. And those smaller obstacles hurt worse to see crushed because Eugene almost made the team in a way that mattered, only to have that taken away. It would have been less cruel to him and his fans to let Nick take the reserve slot back in issue 12, but instead we brought Eugene along to serve as a means to make Nick out 'secret weapon' and elevate his story.

I will say though, this page is one of my favorite Eugene moments because I see the character I selfishly want Eugene to be in it. From the context of the panels above, this page is likely Williams telling them that only one will be fencing in State Championships, and this is their reaction. Eugene's immediate concern for Nick and the comforting hand on his shoulder followed by a bright smile and a thumbs up--he just cares so much about other people and it so used to smiling through his own pain/disappointment and comforts Nick through being positive (and as seen back in issue 12, up playing his competitiveness) and acting like it's no big deal.

Eugene deserved better, but if this is where he goes out, I think I can live with it. Better to see him go now than continue to be a means to uplift the rest of team by being less than. but, man, I was really hoping we were turning it around after his moment in REDEMPTION being the only KR boy not to lose his bout

anyway, thank you sm for listening to my rambles!!! <33

[ffakegucci]

GOING ABSOLUTELY FERAL RN !!! BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS RN !!! MY LEGS R SPREAD AND READY TO GET HEAD !!!! I NEED HIM RN . I BET HE SMELLS LIKE DOIR AND CHOCOLATE!!! NEED TO SEE HIM BREATHE!!! SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DWEET DELIGHTFUL DELECTABLE MAN !!!! MY LIPS ARE OPEN AND READY TO RECEIVE HIS SEED !!!! NEED YUUTA SO BADLY!! KICKING MY FEET UP AND GIGGLING!!! LOVE HIM SM !! I COULD WRITE A WHOLE ESSAY ABOUT BIM

[gayferrari]

we as a community need to get more rpf-y about the fact that charles' girlfriend's name is alex

I see your vision. However EYE am more interested in the fact that in a certain light she looks like she and Carlos could be related.

Long answer: this ask sent me down a bit of a thought spiral about how F1 fandom in general deals with IRL significant others, as opposed to other sports RPF fandoms I've lurked in, so you get an actual essay, sorry.

I think it's interesting how F1 fic writers tend to just ignore irl partners, way more than other sports fandoms. You know how the tag “AU: no girlfriend / no wives” gets A Lot of mileage elsewhere? In F1 it's hardly ever used, because wags are simply excluded by default. The only ships that sometimes remember partners exist (include them or deliberately write around them) are ships involving guys like Seb or Nico whose relationships are a big part of their lives and are probably harder to just push to the side.

By contrast, the younger crop of drivers have a big social media presence that's almost impossible to ignore BUT does not include their actual irl partners because it's all work mandated PR, so these men's F1 personas make it very easy to paint them as single. Even if their broader public personas (outside of F1) are very high profile and often includes very public relationships and friendships — it's not like they keep their relationships lowkey, you know? But people just choose not to dig into those layers of lore, probably simply because the stuff we get through team PR videos and grill the grid already gives us a lot to work with.

IDK, I just find it fascinating! I bet many people don't even notice, but TO ME it's kinda glaring how often everyone in fic is single because imo it's such a fundamental component of the elite athlete lifestyle how these guys always have someone to come home to (and do some emotional labour for them). It doesn't have to be their actual irl girlfriends — many people draw the RPF line at including semi-famous partners, and that's a totally understandable stance — but there aren't even that many OC girlfriends. It is something that stands out to me compared to, idk, hockey RPF to make the most obvious comparison.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT. Yeah, I'd actually be very interested in more fics where Charles has a girlfriend. Again, it doesn't have to be a fictional version of his actual rl girlfriend, it can just be an OC with a different name. BUT, Charles's whole serial monogamy thing is actually a really big part of his personality that I think fandom misses out on, because HE is the one who's assigned the role of girlfriend in most ships he's involved in. You know, the omegafication of Charles... I get why it's a popular trend, I've written it myself and enjoy reading it. But I think there are interesting things to be done, characterisation wise, drawing on the fact that irl he's very much A Dude, and also a serious relationship kinda guy, and a very basic kinda straight guy who yearns for three children by age 35. Like... I think taking THAT kind of man and giving him a sexuality crisis is an avenue full of potential that the fandom could explore more.

tldr: I fully respect people's decision NOT to engage with significant others in RPF but also I think it has potential if you're inclined to go that way! so yea I agree RPF fandom could and should do more with Charles having a girlfriend even if people choose not to RPF *this* specific girlfriend.

[silverraes]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally

10 BL Boys That Make Me Feel Things™

(not sexual, not romantic but a secret third thing)

okay so I wasn't exactly tagged in this but I saw several people doing this and I'll take just about any excuse to scream about my favorite characters so I'm just going to very sneakily join in on this trend 👀

there is absolutely no ranking to these bc I couldn't rank them if I wanted to

(also I changed the name a little bc my ace ass is literally physically incapable of wanting anyone carnally but I still have lots of thoughts lmao)

1) Tharn (The Sign)

I mean. is literally anyone surprised that this is where we're starting?

he's the nicest person out there. he can kick your ass if he wants to. he lost his parents at a young age and is absolutely convinced that everyone he loves is doomed to die and he keeps seeing visions of people dying and he's told again and again that those he has wronged in a past life - which he doesn't even remember - are still out to get him and yet he has so much kindness left for the world??

also he can be such a little shit and knows exactly how to tease Phaya back I love him so goddamn much.

(also that mole-)

2) Kim (Kinnporsche)

was he also on my characters I'd hit with my car list? maybe. and what about it.

I love him so much. he's such a badass but he's such a loser. famous singer who falls for a fan he was supposed to be investigating but is too emotionally constipated to admit it. badass son of a mafia family who can kick ass but only if he wants to. who does it like him honestly

(it also helps that he's played by just about the prettiest man alive)

3) Babe (Pit Babe)

did I start watching this show ironically? yes. is every mention of alphas and mpreg and that mama/papa thing hitting me like a brick and causing me 9000 psychic damage every single time? also yes. did I absolutely fall in love with the show and just about every character in it? you bet your fucking ass I did.

but I especially love Babe. he's just so babygirl. special alpha man who has to act tough and strong but just wants to be babied by his dumbass loser (affectionate) alpha boyfriend. like, he's actually so goddamn soft?? I love him.

4) Guy (Bake Me Please)

I think we all knew this was coming. I was literally gushing about him for half of the episodes. Guy my beloved. that show did not deserve you.

he spends the entire show supporting his crush's every decision and trying to make sure he's okay literally how could you not love this man

(yes he was a petty bitch for like 5 minutes there but he immediately apologized for it the next episode. properly. unlike certain other people-)

5) Sprite (Twins)

he's so himbo coded. himbo of all himbos. the himboest. not a brain cell in that head. he's my little dumbass I love him.

he deserves so much better than what he's being put through. someone please just love and support him for who he is. and also take him away from that family

(please talk to your boyfriend tho I am begging)

6) Wei Wuxian (The Untamed)

MY BELOVED. I could write essays about him. he's such a great character I love him so fucking much. if you ever had to bear witness to me talking about him.. I am so sorry.

sassy emo bitch with a flute and a tragic backstory who's seen as evil by just about everyone but only ever had the best intentions. absolute fucking dumbass. kicks ass. always smiling despite the circumstances. loves his siblings so damn much. doomed by the narrative. what more could you possibly ask for

7) Zhou Zishu (Word of Honor)

I'm trying so damn hard to keep this list to one character per show and it really took me a while to decide if I wanted to include him or Wen Kexing but ultimately it was Zhou Zishu for me

just.. god. him. assassin sect leader just trying to retire who keeps getting dragged into the biggest bullshit but doesn't really mind bc the bullshit comes with a mysterious pretty man. also that whole god damn nail thing. I have so many thoughts and feelings about that but this post would get too long if I got started on those-

(also actually pulling the "I'm literally dying" card to get out of chores is so fucking valid of him. more characters should do that)

8) Milk (Choco Milk Shake)

he is quite fucking literally a reincarnated cat, of course I love him. I could list reasons for why I love him but it would be the exact same reasons just about every cat person on earth lists for why they love cats so. but here's a quick summary, just in case:

petty. dramatic. knocks over glasses. silently loves you so fucking much.

9) Tew (My Dear Gangster Oppa)

I really did not expect to love him this much? greenest of green flags (except for the plot line we shall not talk about). can and will kill people and is fine with it (seriously it is so refreshing to see a mafia character not having a huge moral dilemma about being in the mafia). both a badass mafia man and a gamer guy who doesn't know how to talk to people and is absolutely whipped for his gamer bf.

also scars make a person just about 110x more attractive I don't make the rules. even if the scars are weird and yellow, it's the thought that counts.

10) Tian (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

I? love him??

I just love how he sets out to do something for someone he didn't even know because he feels like this person deserves that much at least and how he ends up genuinely loving and caring for those kids and the village and this inner conflict he's having the entire time but hiding oh so well and how he actually calls out his parents on their rich people bs and-

tagging everyone who reads this far and wants to do it. seriously. I mean it. if you want to do this, please go ahead and say I tagged you. I love reading everyone's thoughts.

[nikachansstuff]

Can I share a personal story that I couldn’t not relate to this fandom obsession in advocating for characters that are clearly villains?

So I was at my first term in college, the class was British Literature to 1660. We were having a lecture about Book One of Paradise Lost, that tells us the first act of disobedience of human kind, Adam and Eve expulsion from Paradise. And it also tells about Satan’s rebellion. One of its the most famous quotes: “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven."

The teacher was telling how this statement shows the pride, ambition, and bad intentions of Satan. And then, he open the discussion for the whole class to participate and boy, oh boy, that’s when things got interesting.

There were actual students defending Satan’s actions. And telling “Hey, we don’t know the full story, what if he had struggle in Paradise?” Some said they could relate with the desire for freedom, to be able to make their own decisions. There was one student that actually said Eve should have known better than to trust the Serpent.

The teacher, a middle-age man, was stunned in silence. He then just asked: “You do know you are defending the devil? The ultimate villain of humankind’s history?” One fellow student replied with: “But we are studying literature, we have to think about all possibilities and have empathy to all characters!”

And the poor teacher, still baffled, said in final tone: “We are talking about the Devil! I’m pretty sure we should not empathize or try to justify Satan’s actions! We are talking about Satan here, people!”

I couldn’t not remember this lecture when I read essays about Amarantha’s reasons or how King Hybern could have suffered a heartbreak and that’s why wanted to control de world. Sometimes… in Literature… authors just writes villains because they need a character to antagonize the main character and drive the plot forward. We don’t need to empathize, try to understand an interior and mysterious motivation. And I would bet some coins that even the author themselves didn’t lost a lot of time thinking about an ultimate reasoning that if reveled, it would absolve the villain of his sins.

Sometimes, both in Literature and in life, evil is just rooted in evil.

Why are you defending the devil?

[gothicprep]

even better, re: the cut: the ‘I think my husband is trashing my novel on goodreads’ article is the first of a NEW advice column by the same author of the disastrous ‘lure of divorce’ personal essay from last week.

lol i was debating talking about emily gould when that essay came out, but i figured "nobody cares about your weird interest in gawker media lore" and decided against it. but i'm going to interpret this as permission to just go crazy on main.

context for readers who don't know: emily gould, on valentine's day, published an essay that's ostensively about divorce, but it's actually about a lot of other things. not even *a* divorce, because she decides against getting divorced at the end of the essay. i wouldn't bet on anything that comes after the end of this essay, but that's a separate question.

it's probably important to establish who emily gould is for what i'm about to say to make any sense: she was a media darling in her 20s. she was one of the first people to get Very Famous from blogging, an editor at gawker, and probably the best known writer there during the mid to late 2000s. very american apparel indie hipster sleeze era personality. could probably be described as a "literary sex symbol" insofar as the literary world has those things.

there were two things that she was famous for in this era. one of them was this post she put on gawker about how she had broken up with her boyfriend and it was a massive success. if you comb through old archives, people were talking about this like it was the brangelina split. i want to say this was a dam breaking moment for a particular kind of personal branding/internet personality that involved revealing things about your personal life, which eventually took over more broadly and gave rise to the culture we have now online. the other thing was this very unfortunate appearance she had on larry king live or something after she'd been taken to task for the "gawker stalker" feature on gawker, where people would send in tips about celebrity sightings around the city. someone sent in a tip about jimmy kimmel being drunk and obnoxious in a bar, and because kimmel is the world's biggest baby, he flipped out and went on this whole tirade about how it was a threat to his safety. in reality, he was just mad that someone saw him drunk in public and said something about it. kimmel and a few other guys confronted her about this on larry king. she looked like a deer in headlights and either wasn't prepared/hadn't been prepared for what was coming. like kimmel told her she was going to hell on live television. mess. there was also some really public drama she had with lena dunham but i don't really remember the details.

she never really disappeared between then and now. she's been writing for the cut for a while, which i guess you could say is her aging into a different kind of women's journalism. she's published a few books, but she hasn't really found her footing since her breakout success in her 20s didn't turn her into the established writer she probably hoped she would be. there was a time where it seemed like she was positioned to be this generation's joan didion, but that didn't end up happening.

so that brings us up to this essay, which was preceded by the last little bit of gossip that i need to get out of the way, even though she mentions it in the essay. in her personal newsletter, she made a crowdfunding request for money to "taking an infinite hiatus from hetero marriage and monogamy. they are a trap for women, full stop. sometimes a trap can be cozy. mine was, until it wasn’t." she does mention she's having a manic episode. she's upfront about the fact that something is going on with her.

anybody who's at all familiar with gould and her financial challenges must question the wisdom of giving money to this, but she presents it very much in the spirit of "men are pigs. men are trash. divorce that man now." and as we learn later, gets money from lyz lenz, who has a book out that's basically the feminist case for divorce and being a single mom.

so gould is not just neck deep in this divorce literature, but producing it to some extent. maybe a crowdfunding request isn't truly a literary form, but it's written in a persuasive way that fits with other writing in the liberate yourself through divorce canon. but the valentine's day essay, while i don't think it's great, i do think it's interesting how it breaks from form. it's not an anti-man personal essay, and these always are. so it was nice to read something a bit different. well, maybe not different, but retro.

i've never been a fan of gould's work, but it did get me wondering "what itch are people trying to scratch when they read essays like this?" because it's like the reader wants them to be an explicitly moral fable, but they want it to be racy and spicy. like one of those mid century pulp novels with a painting of a woman on the cover looking kind of slatternly with a lot of makeup on. it'd be called something like "wild trash" and the subtitle would be "she couldn't wait for her divorce". it's smut about a woman who's sinning gratuitously and flouting society's expectations. and usually with these books, there'd be some kind of cosmic comeuppance for her where she'd get syphilis and die in a pauper's prison or whatever.

and i think people come to stories like this because they want to read something like that. you're gonna read about a woman who was debauched and all the naughty behavior in graphic, titillating detail. and at the end, you get served up a nice, neat conclusion. her husband divorces her and finds love with a kindergarten teacher from iowa. so it flouts the "rah rah divorce him" essay and the pulpy personal essay that some people want. if you're going to write a 3,000 word apology, at the very least, it is a novel take on it.

but i think what the problem is with an essay like this is that it's very... dated in its style. the expected thing with personal essays in the 2020s, the thesis of them usually boils down to something about what a great person the essayist is. most of them do this. that's why you get privilege disclaimers in them – the point of the essay is how the essayist is sensitive and kind and wonderful. even when there are flaws, they're overcome, or something systemic lead this to happen. a flawed woman is because patriarchy made her thus.

to give a better example of the kind of thing i'm talking about, you'll see an essay in the atlantic or new york times magazine and it follows the same formula. Woman Has Personal Life Grievance. Step Back. Here's Why This Is A Big Issue In Society, Bolstered With Statistics. Here's Why If This Woman Was Black Or Poor Or Gay Or Trans, It Would Be Even Worse. Back To The Personal Anecdote... you know what i mean? it's a very well established formula, but you can't have that with "also i'm a dirtbag". once you're talking about society and societal issues of which you're just a little representative – because those are the stakes. it has to be universal – you can't just be talking about yourself.

and then there's this question of personal writing more generally. you aren't a fictional character, you're yourself. and whether you want it to be or not, every personal essay is going to function like a cover letter. it's presenting you to the world. and i don't like these, but i don't want gould's style of personal essay to come back either. it straight up ruined a lot of women's lives who wanted to get their foot in the door in media, got $75 from xojane to write something lurid about their personal lives... and their career never took off. so now this is just on the internet forever.

this old piece in slate sheds a light on just how exploitative that whole thing was.

"don't make life decisions based on emily gould's writing" is useful advice for more reasons than one.

[unclevladscorner]

Do you like queer books? I bet you like queer books.

Gorgeous, no? While I could write whole essays about @gabrielhargravewrites series, I will sum up the highlights of OatL and LatD

-Trans Guy Learns he Loves S3x work. Like, a LOT

-People with mental health struggles learn to love each other and themselves

-Dorian is the cattiest MFer and I LOVE him for it

-Fem cis man/Himbo Trans man couple

-Healthy depictions of kink and BDSM

-Oops, messy polycule!

-Funky alien diner owner

-Kenny! I love this guy!

-Dystopian while also filled with hope and love

-Fighting fascism, the messy queer way

-The book has loads of queer people across the spectrum of identities

Go get it

[flownwrong]

Shipping bingo: rayk/fraser let's see if we can get bingo baby

okay I admit I cheated a little just to get a bingo but LET ME EXPLAIN

- comfort ship: self-explanatory

- criminally underrated: as of 2023, haha. I'm on a mission to convince more people to get into due south regardless of shipping anyway

- I could write essays: but I would prefer to write fic. and here's to me getting more confident about it

- fanon gets them so wrong: I don't know the current fanon, and what I can intuit from heaps of good fic left from The Times is a lot of varying but good fanon. however, in my imaginary discussions with an active fandom I am pretty sure I would find things to be ornery about because they're really easy to distort into stereotypes

- from what I know about Freud, he'd have a field day with just about anything. so I think I can safely include this one (also, I do have ray asking thatcher about not knowing who you are without another person playing on loop in my head)

- no one gets them like I get them: see above. there are many glorious and precise takes immortalised in fic but I can always find something I would tweak just a little to make it that much closer to my vision (which, oh well, I need to git gud at writing to keep my dignity while nitpicking the superior writing of others)

- facebook status: they would absolutely both think it's complicated. which it is, wonderfully so, canon timeline especially, but on fundamental level they're always just careening towards fitting together like puzzle pieces, so THEY'D THINK SO, BUT WE KNOW BETTER. also, watching ray, a shitty facebook user, make fraser a facebook account would be hysterical (because let's face it, fraser would never otherwise)

- it would never work in canon: here's my ultimate bingo cheat. because boy, does it ever work in canon. I can only explain it like so: in my perfect imaginary timeline they would never actually form a stable romantic bond without some serious soul-searching post-cotw. which is catnip to me because they really DO the puzzle pieces thing, but man, are they a ways away from communicating that to each other or even themselves, canonically (ffs ray's still waiting for the other shoe to drop AND not exactly serene re:Stella and fraser is so much reeling from the avalanche of finale happenings he can't see that and still hasn't fully learned the lesson about not being an island and I bet you my left hand they would be extremely unequipped for deciding where to go from there, so they'll definitely need the shiny quest liminality and then some to get it)

- I have so many questions: but mostly why are you both so blind arghh (and thank god for that, it's the driving force of my adoration and an endless exploration ground)

- they should go to therapy together: you know what, I really wouldn't mind. it'd be hilarious. but also didn't someone (speranza??) write a whole fic that takes it seriously that you recced and I keep putting off because I know it'll destroy me in ways both good and bad? because I can roll with that too

- I don't think THEY know what they have going on: again, thank god for that. they really don't. it's heartbreaking and adorable in equal measure.

- literally perfect, no notes: I say, after writing many notes. but now's the moment when I publicly admit they have a stronger grip on my mind than sam and dean do—at least currently, we'll see about the long run. because I'm mushy af even with my angst and miscommunication enjoyment and they're a dream come true for my sappy sappy heart.

- also, they could never do friends with benefits. they'd think they can, but no, they can't. it's a rock fact.

here, come, look at my embarrassing admissions!!! thanks for asking, I'm fucking dying to talk about them at all hours of the day.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Blue Castle Book Club Catch Up Post

Sorry for having vanished for a while -- it has been a busy week!

I want to start all the way back in chapter 32, because honestly Valancy frankly deciding that Barney committed bank fraud is my favorite scene/passage. Like, girl went, 'oh yeah, my husband is definitely a criminal, but he didn't do, like, a real crime. Financial crimes don't count, and anyway, I bet he feels bad about it!'

It also tracks with her earlier idle musing that he was counterfeiting money in Bluebeard's Chamber.

I'm also curious why Barney has that newspaper clipping. Did he just use it as a bookmark one day and forget about it? I don't think it ever comes up again.

Skipping over chapter 33 and on to Allan Tierney. We're told that "He was reputed to be a lonely, eccentric man." (Fic prompt: Tierney asks to paint Valancy when both Snaiths are home. They still say no, but they end up becoming friends with him, since he spends his summers on the lake.)

I know others have said they don't like Barney's flatly refusing to let Tierney paint Valancy. I think the reason it doesn't bother me as much is because she also doesn't want to be painted, so the narrative isn't upset that Barney said no. Although I do need to repeat that it's such a good thing that Valancy's in a fairy tale and not a horror story, because the amount that she's wildly uninterested in anyone but Barney is almost uncomfortable. Not that she doesn't like other people -- she has no issues hanging out with Roaring Abel, and she even contemplated visiting her family last chapter -- but she doesn't really care. Even here, when Barney says he had a caller, she is "surprised but indifferent".

Someone better versed than me in actual proper faerie mythology might have a better take on this, but it feels like Valancy has just straight up entered fairy land, with its good and its bad parts. There was a lot of imagery when she first went to Barney's island about entering a fae world, and she's been compared to a spirit several times now, including by Tierney. And she is now utterly indifferent to the mortal world. She does not care what they think, she does not care what their rules are, she is no longer part of their world. In chapter 27, after she told her family she was married, Uncle Benjamin helplessly suggested that she was a changeling, and it feels like Valancy has, like, reverse-changeling'd herself. Instead of the faeries coming to the human world and leaving a faerie child, Valancy went to the faerie world and said, 'I'm here, take me.' And the faerie world did.

Only, again, this is a fairy tale with a lot of the rough edges removed, so the parts that could be bad -- isolation, indifference to the world, alienation from people she once knew -- are presented as entirely positive. Valancy turned her back on the human world, gave herself freely to the faeries, and she was right to do so.

(Fic idea: Valancy as Janet from Tam Lin.)

And Valancy figures out that Barney likes her! In Valancy's defense, I'm not sure how long it took Barney to figure out that Barney likes her, so she can be excused for not figuring out something he didn't even know.

I like her reasoning for not wanting him to love her. It honestly makes perfect sense. Like, she wants him to be sad when she dies, because that means he enjoyed her company, but she likes him too much to want him to be devastated. I do think she is underestimating him -- he didn't love Cissy romantically, and he was clearly devastated when she died, so even if he just likes Valancy as a friend, it wouldn't be easy for him to watch her die. Like, sorry Valancy, your husband is going to be sad when you die.

It is interesting how little emphasis this book puts on the notion of being loved. It is very much about how loving others is good and freeing and meaningful, but there is very little about the value of being loved. One of these days I'll write out my whole essay about Barney and the experience of being desired, but for now I'll leave it at -- coming from a literary tradition (largely but not entirely fanfiction) where unrequited love is seen as a fate as bad as if not worse than death, it's kind of refreshing to see it treated this way. Valancy isn't in control of Barney's feelings and she doesn't need anything from him. She's glad he enjoys her company, but her happiness has nothing to do with whether or not he loves her back. It's all about her, her feelings, her desires, her actions.

Gonna stop here, because this is super long, and come back in a new post for a Dramatic Tone Shift.

[good-beans]

Tsumi's ask game: 2, 3, 4, 6 for Fuuta and Mappi!

Woo thank you so much :3 I promise I didn't go overboard but there were still a bunch so they're under the cut

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

This first one, hands down. Of course I love all frames of my little skrunkly (especially in his little knights outfit :3) but this moment in particular gave me chills. I could write a whole essay on how well Bring it On shows the melding of imagination/reality in a way that isn’t infantilizing. It’s not like a little kid getting carried away thinking of their fake stories, this happens to everyone – this has happened to me. Between the glitching and the beat in the music, this really gut-punched me with the feeling of letting yourself get carried away. Shoutout to the second one because it’s epic and I edited a lockscreen with it for a while. (extra shoutout to when he wipes the blood off his face ough I love that one too)

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

the pv shot who said that. Lmao I actually really liked the 3rd anniversary art! It really captured that shit eating grin, and somehow maintains the perfect balance of making him look genuinely creepy/intimidating and still like a loser asdfsdf. In general he just looks real good in it :3 I know it’s like three tiny panels but I also love his Clock Over Orquestra look ;-;

4. favorite minigram episode/moment?

THERE’S SO MANY LOL I think it has to be the pause of silence as Amane makes fun of his height, but I’m so obsessed with the starry-eyed panel when he’s watching Yuno do cat’s cradle ;---; (eng versions from thinkin-bout-milgram)

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

In general it’s Yuno, but a lot of that is from my own analysis/brainrot/fic writing 😭 I will never shut up about how his initial impression of violence was revealed to be in her defense, rather than his own aggression!!! They’re very similar and where they’re not, they’re complimentary. They are so special to me. If we’re talking mainly canon, it’s definitely him and Amane :’) Some parts are healthy and healing, some parts are fucking them both up more, but it’s all very fun and interesting. 

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

You’re making me choose??? You’re making me choose only one frame of my beautiful beautiful wife????

Seriously though, this one. I know it may be cliche as her Classic Frame but for someone who really relates to her “out of control” emotions and toxic positivity habits, it really hit hard!! It puts you in her victim's shoes, but still in the mindscape, and is just so unsettling and sad ;-;

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

Definitely her birthday art! She’s so beautiful and happy in it <3 I love the dress, love the cake, love the flowers, it’s perfect! I enjoy her various anniversary art, but it always makes me sad seeing them try and paint her as creepy. I get it, but the whole point of her character is that there’s nothing literally creepy/mean about her ;--; (Referring to my previous answer, that's how you make her creepy. You put the viewer in her victim's shoes and make her just as cheery as always.)

4. favorite minigram episode/moment?

Her “I bet I could” because she Could!!! I believe in her 😤 It was such a cute minigram overall but after so much canon content of her struggling to keep up with what society/others expect of her I loved seeing her have some confidence in herself, even if it was silly :3 Ahh I also love her keeping up with Kotoko at jumprope! She may be small but she can keep up with the best of ‘em 💪

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

Also Yuno lol! I love how much they care for each other, especially now that Yuno has been looking after her in T2 ;-; In general they make such a cool parallel – they both have crimes related to a partnership with a man, both pay attention to the picture-perfect ideal of a woman that society expects, but are complete opposites regarding honesty/masks. My secret little favorite is Fuuta, but once again that’s really all from headcanoned interactions and parallels 😅

[fanfic-inator795]

I’m sorry, I just keep thinking about the Jeoff Bed & Breakfast ep we lost out on.

I’m still really satisfied w/ how the show ended, don’t get me wrong. We still got plenty of great episodes plus a fantastic ending and that’s way more than some shows get… but MAN I would have loved to see this specific lost ep.

I already wrote a whole essay on why I love the Jeoffs so much both as individuals and as a pair, but while we got plenty of great Jeoff moments in the show, seeing them open a business together would have been a great spotlight for their relationship.

Like most couples who go into business together (especially when it’s in the hospitality/customer service field), I do feel like there’d end up being some tension between them that they’d have to work through. After all, Geoff can be a bit too forgiving as well as a bit ditzy while Jeff has a bit of a temper and isn’t afraid to speak his mind, either of these traits could make for some tricky situations.

Beyond the stuff with potentially shitty customers/guests though, keeping a bed & breakfast running smoothly (especially if it serves both the living and ghosts) isn’t easy, given all the cooking and cleaning that needs to be done. As such, I feel like this would be the ep where we eventually see the Jeoff’s first real argument/fight. If you’ll forgive me for being an SU/Rupphire fan, it would essentially be their Keystone Motel (except they’d be the ones running the ‘motel’ of sorts, haha), being a true pressure test for their relationship.

But, for as much as they would likely struggle at the start, I feel like this sort of ep would also spotlight WHY they work so well as a couple and why they’ve lasted for over 100 years - this being their willingness to openly communicate with each other as well as the fact that, with a bit of restructuring, they could easily help cover each other’s weaknesses.

Seeing them come together and talk through their issues and worries before making up (in an incredibly cute and wholesome way, of course), rising to the challenge and eventually being able to say they had a successful opening weekend would be a FANTASTIC ending to what would be a really great ep imo - and throwing the McGees into the mix would no doubt make for plenty of fun jokes and scenes as well, which would help keep the ep light despite all the conflict.

So, yeah. I don’t write fanfics anymore since I’m trying to focus on my original work but- if anyone DOES want to write a fic based on this lost ep, you can bet I’ll give it a read and a kudos/comment. The show may be done, but I’m still probably gonna be looking for fun and wholesome Jeoff content for a while.

[lume-nosity]

nerdy bf kazuha hcs !! (ugh yk kazuha is so yk like he's 🥰🥰 and like kazuha is so 😍😍😍😍 and then when he 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

contains: highschool au, mentions of other characters, mentions of getting high lol, kazuha wearing glasses 😋😋😋 (i hc that this man is blind. thick glasses, like a 200+ grade on his glasses.)

notes: here in the philippines, you just sit in one classroom with all the same people. so basically you and kazuha are in the same section, and he sits riiiight beside you. aside that this is vv messy lol, and my first time writing a hc format !, this was to make up for that kazuha fic for valentines that i didn't write lol

how is he like before classes?

he's running with you, why? he woke up late and rushed to class with you 💀

you're probably bugging him while he's spending free time in the library !!; "i need to study, dear..", he says, as he continues to be favored by most teachers...

of course — you have your own things to do and such so, you and him may just be staring at each other... until he's caught off guard by a mutual friend.

since kazuha and you decided to make your relationship public, kazuha has been suffering a few stolen haikus. you two have very few fingers to point, yet not a single one has been recovered.

how is he during class/in the middle of the day?

he's insufferable and cute, but mostly insufferable in the good way.

he's good at studying. he is smart, very, but when it comes to his "deep poems" it's probably something he scribbled while he was high lol.

in your row, (from left to right) you have kazuha, you, ayato, and yoimiya. whenever the other two aren't paying attention, kazuhas definitely teasing you.

...

"why don't you understand? it's quite simple..."

"just let me copy a few missing sentences??"

"no 🥰"

"little shit."

...

and oh man when you're daydreaming infront of him??? and he sees it???? AND YOU'RE STARING AT HIM FIXING HIS GLASSES?????? damn bro he's so fine

kazuha, while being a good student and never causing any fuss (at least nothing serious), might be reprimanded by teachers for paying attention to only you. jesus, it's a miracle you two have not been separated away just yet.

good lord he's honestly so demonic 😭, like you'll ask him "hey 'zuha, can i get some notes from you? i didn't copy fast enough.." and then he'll deny you for a bit before letting you copy 💀

and yk whats sexy and cool? volunteering to answer — you get nervous each time he raises his hand though...

does he bring you back home?

you bet your ass he does, and he's on time too. your poor boyfriend (not really, he does this willingly) multi-tasks while walking you back home, he's writing an essay or something 💀

maybe he might've been writing a haiku that'll be stolen if he doesn't put it away, but who knows? because it certainly isn't you.

...

"what 'cha writing?"

"a haiku, why?"

"can i see? please? just one, tiny glance.."

"as much as I'd like to, no sadly. i'm not finished oka-"

...

you proceed to a) attack him verbally, asian mom style b) keep staring in hopes that you'll be able to see it or c) snatch it away from him (never been successful)

...

i made this to deny and cope because i have a crush on my guy friend now because omg i... i think i... like him 😟 pssst some of the teasing kazuha does is very much based on my crush 🤯

i'm so disappointed in myself

my goodness

this is really good… i can clearly picture that whole thing in my head. kazuha with glasses… so fine tbh. (aha i have glasses too we could be twinning then)

kazuha please let me copy your notes fr like i’m too tired for school HDHAJC

also… did i read that last part right 👁️? another mutual has a crush on someone too?

wow, interesting, seems like a bunch of my mutuals have crushes that i wasn’t aware of? it’s cute, really. (not in a teasing way but in a more genuine way because i’m audibly going ‘aww’)

if you really do feel that way towards your friend, and would like to end up with him, (or you’d like to shoot your shot) i answered an ask similar to that here

either way, no matter what you do, i hope it works out well <3

[ourmondobongo]

What is your meta analysis for Levi x Petra and Hange x Moblit?

Hello!

Being really honest, they seem the same to me: both Levi and Hanji are Petra and Moblit's superiors, respectively.

Petra is really young, a subordinate Levi cherished as a person and as a member of his most trusted team.

Moblit is a man of few words, but I bet he was very cherished by Hanji since he was among the three most important men in her life. I mean, THIS IS DEEP, right? And he literally stayed by her side through hell and back for so many years, and I really really really love Moblit as well. (I could write whole essays about him fr LOL).

So all in all: I think Isym made them explicitly readable as SC comrades, and they fit very well as that. But special props to Moblit cause THIS MAN IS SO DUCKING PRECIOUS!!!! I CAN'T T-T

[lary-the-lizard]

Seeing a trend in smut fics where underage trans boys are taken advantage of… wondering why these boys are trans… could just be that I’m triggered as an afab masc person but I kind of feel like these fics make these boys explicitly trans because they want these boys to be extra feminine/submissive/timid/naive/innocent which would be *drum roll* transphobic of them and bad representation of trans boys. Because trans masc people are NOT extra sweet boys devoid of sexual experience just like teen boys aren’t, just like teen girls aren’t. And yes, it’s fanfic, it’s not meant to be realistic, it’s there to satisfy the little fan demon that craves angst and sex but it’s super upsetting that this is how some people see and/or desire trans boys and trans afab people. When girls are perceived as timid, pure, sweet, and innocent it drives them crazy because it’s actually demeaning to be treated that way so when trans afab people are treated that way it shows us that we AREN’T being seen or treated with 1) basic respect and 2) as masc people. Because we APPEAR small and soft we are treated as if we are sugar and spice and everything nice when in reality we are every combination of traits possible. But a trait that is VERY COMMON among afab people is that we are angry. And our anger is constantly overlooked.

In the Trigun Stampede fandom it is very common for fic writers to write Vash as a trans man. Whatever, that’s chill. But what I’ve noticed is that Vash’s genitals almost always foreshadow how he’s going to be characterized in the fic. Is he the peace loving, non-confrontational, feisty, overly sacrificial Vash or the impatient, donut eating, mischievous, overachiever Vash? You can fucking bet in which version he has a pussy. Because women are the nurturers, women are timid, they are sacrificial, and create peace, right? Sacrifice and kindness just come with the pussy, it’s in the contract, didn’t you know? It’s the penis that gives men the spine, apparently. All of this is disgusting, all of it is frustrating, it’s sexist and transphobic. Trans afab people are kind most times, we like peace generally, but we’re gross too, we’re physically strong too, we’re angry and horny and hateful and impatient and rude and dishonest and assertive and zealous and confident and athletic and ambitious and violent and angry and know so much about bodies and hormones and medicine and mental illness and torture. Like, Jesus Christ, do you know how fucking frustrating it is to be shut up again and again and again because you’re cute apparently? Do you know how fucking frustrating it is talking about the violence of your mind and how your sex life is going only to be told that you’re a fucking cinnamon roll? Do you know how goddamn aggravating it is to be characterized as submissive and docile always because you and society disagree on what having a body mean? Our anger isn’t cute, it’s fucking violent. Our assertiveness shouldn’t be shocking, it should be accepted, and our infantilization and feminization isn’t a compliment, it’s the most common insult.

I should make this a whole essay