#i believe in u though i hope ur eating to the best of ur ability and staying hydrated <3 and always remember.

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

How can I be offline more even when I’m depressed? I can’t go on walks or hang out with anyone so I need help and I’ve seen you do good with your tumblr breaks and getting outside

Honestly the only reason i can go offline the way i do is because i tell everyone i wont be online until i do such and such (in my case its typically writing a substack post) and because i made myself a little rule, im obligated to follow it if that makes sense ..... idk it works really well for my specific neuroses to have precise rules around screen use because im the type of person who needs to follow the rules i make myself or i lose it. So thats not much help unless your brain is wired like mine BUT for getting outside i usually have like a reward system of sorts??? Once again hinges on my love of making little rules for myself i guess but going outside means i get a cig and/or a drink (not the healthiest of motivations lol but its better than nothing).... if u cant go for walks i suggest also just finding a place to sit and hang out!!! Parks in ur area or even just outside wherever you live r good places for this.... if u have the pleasure of having a stoop to sit on i recommend sitting on it with some headphones and a book or podcast or whatevers up ur alley..... if u dont want to be talked to or looked at (me too <3) then doing this at night is pretty awesome. The more ur offline the easier it gets btw like ik everyone says that but fr the fomo disappears pretty quick. Good luck i love you stay gold

[liliewrites]

So reader is childhood frnds with both arle & clervie(we can't forget this girlie), but like reader has this talent that lets her blend into the background with no one knowing like she's even there. This trio literally stick tgt everyday like if someone sees 1 of them they know the other 2 aint that far behind. So reader & arle had this obvious crush on each other(not that they r gonna say anything but its so obvious to eveyone who saw them cus they r kids). Reader then got sent to Fontaine from Snezhnaya to snoop around for info (this is b4 KingMaking). So while reader is snooping for info, KingMaking happens as canon & arle tried to find reader after she became a harbinger cus like she lost clervie alrdy & she just wants to know reader is still safe ya know. But like obviously arle couldn't find cus reader's talent of 'blending' works damm well. So arle got transferred to Fontaine for the gnosis, happened to find reader by 100% coincidence while on a walk, grabbed reader, carried her all the way to the hearth, had a VERY long conversation about what happened & decided to finally confessed to reader about the crush that has never fade despite being separated for so long.

💫anon

HALLLLOOOOOOOO 💫 ANON:DD i hope i do ur ask justice n feed all of u the good ol' slowburn n mutual pining w arlecchino:DD eat up!! also, i changed smth a little bit for the sake of the plot if u don't mind, but overall, it shouldn't make too much of a difference! tyy for requestingggg!! i feel like this isn't my best portrayal of arlecchino though huhuawkajdwas

-warning/s ; maybe ooc, clervie's death mentioned.

-pairing/s ; arlecchino x fem!reader

(men please dni utc!)

peruere didn't know what to do.

peruere didn't know that the last word's clervie to you would be "byebye, y/n! make sure to come back home safely, okay??"

peruere stared at her hands with an absent stare, her mind in full delirium as she just realized the atrocities she'd just commit. the children of the house of the hearth has fallen- and she was the only one left.. along with you. knowing her mother, she knew what she had done to clervie would eventually happen to you.

she wasn't going to lose you too.

thankfully, you were currently absent from the scene- as "mother" had assigned you on a mission somewhere within teyvat but she knew as soon as you came back you'd be suffering the same fate as the others if she didn't act soon enough.

her mind finally met with clarity, she picked up her sword- the very same sword that bore her sins against your friends and siblings.

the next day, you heard what had happened back at.. home. the house of the hearth was no more.

peruere had been arrested, mother crucabena had been killed by peruere. you didn't believe it at first, but when you also heard that the rest of the children had died a year prior to crucabena's death- you knew peruere had lost her wits at the last minute.

you were disoriented for a moment, unsure of what to do now that you had nowhere to come back home to, but you mostly worried about peruere. you thought of what they would do to her, you didn't want to lose her too. she's all you had left.

with a heavy heart, you never went back home. you had no choice but to use your ability to blend in within the street kids of sumeru, just so no one would recognize you especially the fatui agents that roamed the streets from time to time. you spent a few years within the streets, taking advantage of your expertise in the field of gathering information with your stealth and earned yourself a living off of it.

however, you just couldn't shake peruere out of your mind. constantly, she was on your mind like a nail lodged in your head. especially when the full moon had gleamed upon you it's blessed and gentle caress and had brought you comfort, did peruere witness it's beauty? or was she as lonely and lost as the moon in the vast darkness of it's own solitude akin to her own isolation within the confinements of her prison cell? it worried you greatly.

after a few years, you'd caught news of the newly appointed harbinger named arlecchino whom had inherited your "mother's" title, the knave.

there were different rumors that surrounded the harbinger, but they all pointed to her committing a massacre, calling her the "poor, mad and cursed" knave.

your chest thumped, you had a strong feeling you knew it was peruere yet you couldn't confirm it yet. you haven't seen any photos of the new knave, except for the fact that she's been stationed in fontaine within the newly rebuilt house of the hearth.

confirmed or not, you knew it was her-- it had to be. so you had immediately began to prepare for your trip back to fontaine with haste.

unbeknownst to you, said harbinger had been looking for you first thing when she had gotten out of prison. she knew you would have fled fontaine entirely as she had intended, but was also aware of your proficiency when it comes to hiding your identity. she knew it would be hard to find you, but she still carried on. she couldn't let the kids handle this, lest she could risk the freedom you had now from the life of being a fatui (which she hoped you had). so she could only hope, if there really was a deity out there that would hear her, that you were safe and alive and well.

you were, in fact, safe and alive and well. now you were taking your first few steps into the city of fontaine. when, honestly, as a child you've never been able to experience the city despite spending your childhood within it's region. "mother" had never let you leave the orphanage, not until you were "of age" to join the official ranks of the fatui.

you looked around, mesmerized by the people and their lavish clothing. the weather was much different from sumeru as well. despite not growing up within the city, however, you caught whiffs and scents of your favorite cakes from your childhood. truly, you may or may not be fontainian by blood, but at least you were by heart.

you spent the first few days, getting yourself to blend in within fontaine's society. you were still afraid and wary of the fatui, especially with how strict "mother" was to you which formed your impressions of the organization. eventually, after getting a place to stay, getting accustomed to the city and dressing yourself in the same clothes as them- you could now officially, once again, call yourself a fontainian.

however, the reason why you came here in the first place was still on the very top of your head, you had to see peruere no matter what. you kept your eyes open for any signs of her monotone colored hair. you kept your ears alert if you'd catch any drift of her name, peruere or arlecchino, to no avail.

you let out a sigh, feeling unsuccessful. you weren't about to give up, but decided that you should rest and call it a day. it was getting late, so you had gotten up from the bench you were sitting on to go and head back to the inn you were staying at.

.. then suddenly, you had been robbed of your sight then consciousness.

your eyes fluttered open, but your eyesight had been blurry. the first thing you've realized is that your feet was off the ground and you were being lifted up on the air. your fight response kicked in, and you had tried to wriggle your way out of your captor's grasp.

"let go of me-"

immediate silence. you knew those eyes as she looked down at you. just from her look alone, you knew she had sent you a warning to stay silent.

but that wasn't the reason why you were still, it was because of those those x shaped pupils of hers that bore into your soul that you've come to love.

".. p-peruere? is that.. you?"

she froze for awhile, before continuing on walking.

"later. we can't talk here, keep your face hidden."

you nodded, returning back to your tucked position as she carried you in her arms. you could feel your heart thumping, beating- you've never felt this way since you've last seen her.

once you've arrived at your destination, you noticed that she's brought you within a building. a private study room, it seems. she carefully placed you down on the couch, before sitting on the chair in front of you. you've finally had a full view of her, and both of you had eyes full of shock at the sight of each other.

you were the first one to shatter the silence, immediately tearing up and throwing yourself in her arms. for a while, she awkwardly placed her hand on your waist. you couldn't help but let out a fond chuckle. after all these years, she still acted as if hugging was an alien thing.

you leaned back again, sniffing. she's definitely went through a lot. the apathetic look on her face was much more hardened, more sharper. she looked intimidating, especially with her upright stance and poise of a full fledged military officer. which in her position's case, she was.

she reached out to grab your hand. feeling you, touching you, as if to make sure that you really really were alive and in front of her.

see, the knave was not one to show emotion since she was a child, and you knew that.. but the way she acted now, it bothered you.

".. what happened? where have you been?"

she asked, pulling away from you to regain her composure. her voice was much more deeper now compared to a few years ago. you couldn't help but blush at the sound of it. the way she talked, it lacked warmth, she sounded stiff and stern.

"me? why ask me- what about you?! you're a harbinger now, pers!"

you exclaimed, causing her heart to still for a moment as you called her by that affectionate nickname she hasn't heard in a while. "i'll explain to you, sit."

her way of speaking was much more commanding, more authoritative, but it didn't scare you. rather, you were astonished at how much more polished she's been after all these years.

you sat down next to her, listening to her relay to you the past events that have happened while you two have been apart. she spoke in such a way that she sounded like she was reporting a mission or an assignment, making you feel amused even more as you listened to her speak.

your peruere has really grown up a lot, hasn't she? it made you think that you were wrong, maybe she's not peruere anymore. it made sense, she was called arlecchino now. it made you feel like you've truly lost her forever.

"i see. i'm happy to hear that the tsaritsa has pardoned you, our tsaritsa is truly blessed.." you muttered, looking away as you sighed. arlecchino noticed the melancholic twinkle in your eyes, causing worry to stir within her. "is there something wrong?" she asked, yearning for you to look at her again.

she wouldn't say it out loud, but she missed you, dearly.

you were silent for a few seconds, before letting go of her hand. the look in your eyes made her feel dread-- dread at the thought that you now hate her for killing clervie, for killing "mother", for destroying the place you had once called your "home".

arlecchino was used to being called a monster, a murderer, a freak by many and she could take it.. but from you? oh, it tore her apart. she felt like she'd truly lost you for good.

you looked at her, wanting to ask her if she was still your peruere.

she reached out again, wanting to make it clear to you that it had to be done to protect you.

"do you loath-" "-my peruere?"

both of you had talked at the same time but arlecchino heard your words loud and clear. she just had to hear it again for confirmation. "..pardon?" she asked, blinking at you in confusion.

slightly embarrassed at the thought of being a grown woman whom still referred to her affectionately as "your" peruere after all these years, you really didn't want to ask again, but you needed assurance.

so in a smaller, more hushed voice, you asked again.

"are.. you still my peruere?"

".. you don't hate me?" she asked, a bit dumbfounded that out of all the things you could say, that was the first thing that came our your mouth. it should've been obvious that she's yours, she always has been and she always will be.

"why would i hate you, per- arlecchino? you're my best friend..!" you exclaimed, a bit dumbfounded for her to think that you hated her. you weren't blind to "mother's" ways of raising children. it would've happened either way.

you started to tear up a little, calling her arlecchino felt bitter to the tongue. you've waited all these years, looked for her high and low, and now that you've seen her again.. it felt like you were facing a different person.

all the fears that had built up within arlecchino through all these years had drifted away. you didn't hate her. you didn't resent her for killing clervie. for ruining everything. she was glad that you were still the same woman she loved.

she pulled you in for a hug, albeit a bit awkward, she pulled you in as close as she could. "of course. of course i'm still your peruere. just.. refrain from calling me that in public." she told you, wiping away your tears with her hand.

her hand- her hand, oh archons! "pers, what happened?!"

you exclaimed in horror, grabbing her hand and carefully examining it. you knew of her curse, and it seems that it has taken over her. "worry not. it's been years since the curse had fully manifested, i am fine now" she reassured you, then, holding your hand in hers.

".. did you mean it when you called me yours?" she immediately asked after, looking down at your intertwined fingers. her thumb swiping against yours in a soothing manner.

"why of course, pers, you're my best friend!" you told her, your cheeks becoming flushed as she held your hand in a rather.. more affectionate manner.

"no, no. what if i wanted you to call me yours in a different way?"

she then looked up at you again. her eyes were filled with conviction, with a subtle hint of desperation and enamor. "i'm a woman who's dull to the concept of loss after having witnessed many losses and failures.. but you, i've lost you once. i cannot bear to lose you again. please stay, mon amour." her voice wavered for a moment as she held on to your hand tightly. "please, y/n." her face did not show it, but with the longing stare in her eyes, the way she held at your hand. she was devastated at the thought of losing you again.

your heart broke at the sight of her. you knew, she was still your peruere. within your presence, arlecchino was gone. within your presence, she is peruere. the same one whom would eat your favorite cakes with cakes with you, the same one who would cling on to your shirt as she followed you around, the same one who'd let you use her as your blade in a fight even if she knew you were capable of fending off on your own. arlecchino wasn't asking you to stay while professing their love to you, it was peruere.

you smiled at her, leaning in to lean your forehead against hers.

"of course, pers. i'm here to stay. i've found you again, i'm never going away. i'm glad to be home." you whispered, feeling that familiar warmth from her presence that you've come to know and love. "home?" she asked, a bit curious as to what you meant. "did you mean the orphanage? the current house of the hearth is much different from what we've grown up to, mon amour." she told you, your heart fluttering at her calling you that way. "no, silly. i mean you, pers. no shelter nor place can compare to the warmth and safety that you provide." you muttered and arlecchino let out a soft sigh.

"is that so? then.. i'm glad to be your home." she closed her eyes, basking in the moment of having you near her after so many years of separation. "then i am proud to be the one you call home. for as long as these flames course through my veins, i will always keep you warm and safe." she mumbled as you closed your eyes as well, relishing in the long lost comfort you've longed for.

"still.. i'm happy that for once, my flames have brought a different feeling than fear.." "yeah.. we still have to work on your hugging though.. seriously, pers. you're bad at hugging!" "what- can you blame me? i was never one for affection!"

[costellos]

HI i LOVE ur "____ realizing they fell in love" series thing AND idk if you've done stardust crusaders but if you haven't i'd love to request that pretty pls luv u Aaa c:

I haven’t done the Crusaders yet!! today is your lucky day. 🥰 ty for supporting this series and I hope you enjoy this one!

BUCCI GANG | LA SQUADRA

tw: general violence, stabbing

❥ ┋ ❝ stardust crusaders realizing that they’re in love!

joseph joestar.

Joseph falls in love with you after you put yourself in danger.

the first thing you need to know about Joseph Joestar is that there’s always something up his sleeve. the second, that he prizes his family above all else. only one of those applied when you sacrificed yourself for his sake.

it happens during a stand battle. Hermit Purple is more of a defensive stand, with its ability to disarm and capture enemies. your stand works best offensively. as such, you make quite the pair when you encounter two of DIO’s subordinates in India.

but while Joseph was distracted, using Hermit Purple to wrap one of the goons in its violet vines, the other came barreling behind Joseph. he sees a glint in the henchwoman’s eyes, a look that tells him that she’s ready to kill. he knows you see it too. and that’s why he’s crying at you to get away.

it only took a moment. yet in that moment did you save Joseph, push the henchwoman back, and find a kukri in your side. it’s the one time that Joseph didn’t have anything up his sleeve, and one of many that he could feel his heart drop.

you didn’t have to defend him. he had already lived his life, and at that point, he had accepted he could die at any moment. he knew exactly what he was getting into when it came to DIO. and he was starting to wish that he hadn’t gotten you involved, too.

he knocks both of the goons out, leaving them in the alley. you’re not quite sure what happens next. all you can feel is Joseph holding you in his arms, frantically looking for help in the streets of Kolkata. he’s screaming. crying maybe? you lose consciousness soon after.

Joseph would visit you in your hospital room once you came to. he makes quite the scene, pushing doctors aside and slamming your door open. at first glance you think that he's mad, with his gritted teeth and clasped fists. he stops for a moment, studying your face. and it’s here that you realize he isn’t mad — no, his face quickly melts to concern, his lip quivering as he wraps you into a tight hug. ↳ “come here.” his voice is shaky. he sounds breathless, as if he ran here as soon as he got word that you woke up. “what the hell were you thinking? don’t go throwing yourself at anyone for my sake! you talk to me in battle, okay?”  alright, maybe he’s a little mad. he’s trying to say his words as gently as he can, though. “we need you, [Name].” and it’s true: the team does need you. but he of all people needs you most. he’s already losing one child. he can’t bear the thought of losing another.

muhammad avdol.

Avdol falls in love with you when he sees how patient you are.

he's a mentor above all else. Avdol’s career depends on guiding others to their destinies, leading them to something that he cannot posses. he’s never particularly minded. like all things, he just thinks that is his own destiny. he knows that fate can’t be changed.

it’s part of the reason why Avdol’s given up on Iggy. the dog is hopeless, fighting for his own wants and needs. he doesn’t care about the team or DIO or why he’s in Egypt. hence, aside from giving him coffee gum when Avdol needs him, the fortune teller leaves him alone.

then he sees you interacting with Iggy. “it’s hopeless,” Avdol tells you. but you look up at him and shake your head, asking him to just give you some time. Iggy will come around, you promise.

Avdol chuckles. “if you say so.”

despite his doubts, he keeps a close eye on you. you keep at it. you’re trying to get the dog’s trust, offering pets and belly rubs during moments of peace. Iggy seems disinterested.

in time, Avdol watches as you realize that Iggy hates being treated like a dog. you share your food with him and talk with him, even if he can’t understand what you have to say. one day, while driving through Egypt, Avdol peers into the rear view mirror and sees you asleep with Iggy on your lap.

the Boston terrier follows you everywhere now. he trots beside you and barks at whoever gets too close to you (much to Polnareff’s chagrin). Avdol can’t help but find this amusing.

well he’d be damned. you really did it. Avdol always thought of him as a good judge of character, and you proved him wrong. not that he minds; Iggy’s cooperation will make this mission much less difficult. it’s just that your unyielding patience and dedication is... well. it’s quite nice with all the other interesting characters on this trip.

Avdol approaches you while you’re reading in the hotel lobby. as always, Iggy is at your feet. he’s fast asleep, thankfully. the fortune teller tries to be quiet so as not to wake him. ↳ “I apologize.” he takes the armchair across from yours, resting his cheek on his fist, an amused smile on his lips. “you’re a lot more patient than I gave you credit for.” maybe Avdol had unknowingly guided you to Iggy. maybe it was fate that Iggy would be brought here, only to be loved by you. “I admire that of you. though I suppose there’s a lot I admire about you, hm?” fate can’t be changed. he knew that. but maybe it was fate that like Iggy, Avdol was brought here to be with you.

jotaro kujo.

Jotaro falls in love with you after you call him out.

he hates showing his true colors. that kind of vulnerability is something that he’s never gotten accustomed to, nor does he think that he ever will. it’s part of the reason why he dislikes displaying more emotion than what’s necessary. a slight twinge of his lip or brow can show enough of what he’s thinking. any more than that is a waste of energy. they get the gist, he tells himself.

you proved him wrong when you lost a game of checkers. it’s a humid day in Cairo and during a rare moment of peace, you and Jotaro opt to play a friendly game of checkers with some locals. though the word “friendly” is subjective. if either of you won, 2500 Egyptian pounds would be yours.

it’s your turn. the game is a close call. although it can be over within the next two turns, you can’t tell what your opponent’s next move would be. thankfully, Jotaro is standing behind him, giving you cues for your next move.

...yet because you misunderstand his cue, you watch as you promptly lose any pieces that you had left. your opponent takes your pieces and the 2500 Egyptian pounds with it.

“what the hell was that?” Jotaro is angry. you are too. after losing the game, you collected your things and began to head back to the hotel, with Jotaro at your heels. “I was nodding my head! that was your cue to move left.” 

you stop in your tracks. “that wasn’t you nodding! you just moved your head down! how was I supposed to know?”

he clicks his tongue in response. a beat, and then finally, “you’re really damn annoying, you know that?” 

“yeah, and you’re an asshole.”

Jotaro’s been called many things. sweetie, honey, the hottest guy at school, but asshole? that’s a first. while he won’t admit it, the name stings. it sounds foreign coming from you. he didn’t think he had upset you that much.

he lets the day pass, partly for you, mostly for him. he needs to gather his thoughts. it’s the first time anyone had called him out for his behavior. moreover, Jotaro hates the fact that you may know him better than he does himself. what else do you know about him? did you know that you could upset him this much? ...when did you start to occupy this much space in his head?

so at sundown the next day, you get a knock on your hotel room from Jotaro Kujo himself. you try to close it, but he sticks his foot between the door and the frame before you can. ↳ “look, I’m sorry, alright?” he’s refusing to look at you. “I just... really wanted to win. I pushed that on you. and...” he sighs. "I’m sorry.” he’s apologizing through gritted teeth, yet apologizing nonetheless. it’s the right thing to do and he doesn’t want to lose a friend to his pride. especially one who calls him out on his bullshit. despite everything, you just smile and unfold your arms, telling him that you forgive him. and for a brief moment, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. although Jotaro Kujo hates being vulnerable, he would hate losing you more.

noriaki kakyoin.

Kakyoin falls in love with you while eating breakfast together.

he’s never had any real friends. any attempts to share facts about himself, whether about his stand or his interests, would be met with scorn. it wasn’t until he had breakfast with you — one tiny moment in a trip filled with wacky happenings — that led him to believe that maybe the world wasn’t so lonely.

it’s 7 AM. normally at this time Mr. Joestar and Avdol are off running errands or planning something privately. Kakyoin turns beside him to find Jotaro and Polnareff fast asleep. he wonders where you’d be at this hour, yet when he enters the dining room, he quickly finds the answer to his question.

"good morning,” he says, taking the seat from across you. his voice is gentle though far more awake than you’d expect for seven in the morning. you greet him as enthusiastically as you can muster, flashing a toothy grin. but upon realizing that you were still chewing your food, you quickly turn away and wave your hand, apologizing for the scene. Kakyoin laughs in return.

the conversation itself is rather tame. you ask about his life, what Japan is like, if he misses his parents. Kakyoin answers all of this truthfully, because... well. no one else has ever taken the time to ask. it feels odd to be interviewed. though not uncomfortable.

and you take genuine interest in what he has to say, too. you ask follow up questions and give real, emotional responses. while you sympathize with him, you don’t pretend to know what he’s gone through.

you didn’t have to engage with him. sure, you’re the only ones awake right now, but he didn’t expect you to be so real with him. Polnareff never takes anything Kakyoin says seriously. Jotaro doesn’t even pretend to care. Mr. Joestar and Avdol have their own things to worry about. it feels... nice to be considered.

needless to say, Kakyoin feels his heart sink when the others wake up. is that too selfish? should he be disappointed in himself for wanting to spend more time with you?

yet even with them there, with Polnareff hogging the conversation and Jotaro being his usual cool self, you try to keep Kakyoin involved. you refuse to let him fade in the background.

he stops you as everyone starts to clean up and go on with their days. ↳ “we should do this more often.” he’s trying to keep it casual. “ah, if you’re up this early again, I mean. I really enjoyed our conversation. it’s a lot more productive when Polnareff’s not awake.” now it’s your turn to laugh in response. you agree, saying that you enjoyed your time with him, too. at this, Kakyoin could feel his cheeks start to burn. right here, right at this moment with you, did Noriaki Kakyoin feel that he wasn’t so alone. 

jean pierre polnareff.

Polnareff falls in love with you when he hears you humming to yourself.

although he would never admit it, he’s lost. what he’s looking for he’s not quite sure. vengeance? honor? it’s something he’s constantly asking himself. behind those dumb jokes and loud laughs is someone who just wants to find himself.

to be honest, he’s always fancied you. it was pretty obvious from the start. the way he looked at you, how his hands were always at your hip, guiding you away from the others. he just thought it was another crush until he heard you humming to yourself.

it’s such a simple happenstance. he didn’t mean to walk in on you. yet there you are, standing on the roof of their hotel, hanging everyone’s laundry to dry. you look so at peace here, with your eyelids low and your fingers at work with one of Polnareff’s shirts. you’re handling it so gently despite it not being your own laundry.

it’s in that moment that he realizes what he wants to do. Sherry’s murderer is dead. she can finally be at peace. Avdol has been found, affirming that he didn’t die for Polnareff’s sake. and here you are, humming a song that he doesn’t know but appearing so content.

while he may not know who he is, he does know that he wants to make you that happy everyday.

Polnareff takes this as his cue to approach you. you bend down to reach into your laundry basket, and when you come back up, the Frenchman is there. he’s not pulling any dumb moves, though. he’s much quieter here.

he follows your lead, reaching into the basket for one of his pants, then comes back up to hang them. you return his actions with a smile, a wordless indication of thanks, and continue to work. that song you were humming returns once more, and Polnareff swears that he can feel his heartbeat pounding in his fingertips.

you and Polnareff continue to work like this until the laundry basket is empty. it’s the first time he doesn’t say anything for 10 minutes, at least that you’ve noticed. what you don’t notice that he’s trying to avoid staring, sneaking quick glances as you focus on the task at hand.

when all is said and done, you stretch your arms far above your head, cuing a satisfying pop from your back. you thank Polnareff for helping you and begin heading back to your room. however, he’s quick to stop you. ↳ “hey, wait!” yikes. did that sound too much? “err- let me know if you need any help. I’m always here for you, [Name].” he sounds defeated in that last sentence. he can tell. he wonders if you can, too. but when you grin and tuck your hair behind your ear, telling him that you’d keep him in your thoughts, Polnareff can’t help but feel his heart swell. did he make you happy here?

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

hi! i don’t wanna put any pressure on you or anything this is totally up to you but would you ever consider writing a boxer!grayson fanfic/concepts/blurbs? i love ur writing and hope u have the best day💖xo

The week before a match has always been the hardest. Grayson could easily lose himself in the long training sessions and dehydrating himself to keep a certain weight for the match.

Tensions are high, his temper short and conversation scarce.

When he started boxing, it was meant to be a vent to get out all his anger and ease his mind. As a temperamental man by nature, Grayson struggled to keep a clear head and the anger? It was always in him. It felt like poison eating away at him, rotting his heart.

Whether he liked it or not, Grayson alienated everyone he cared about. In time, even Ethan was gone. Grayson didn't hold it against him though, genuinely happy Ethan had moved to Australia with the love of his wife, a baby on the way. There was no bad blood between them, but the distance took a toll.

That's how he found himself alone, using a punching bag as his therapy. Knuckles are safely wrapped, his vision blurring with the sweat getting into his eyes. His hair is falling on his dampen forehead, sticking. Every punch brings more pain – the kind you can't heal with a band aid and the kind you'd never see just by looking at the handsome boxer.

The world sees him as a man-whore who spends his millions on women and cars, but he was empty – just as empty as the bottom of every bottle he got to. Drinking is bad, he knows that. Hell, he preached that every day to younger generations, but he found solace in it – solace in the ability the drinks had to knock him out at the end of the day. Dreamless, alone and never sure he'd wake up the next morning.

Biting his bottom lip, Grayson groaned as he used all his strength, slamming his fists into the bag, imagining it's him. He wished he could beat the bad out of himself, to start anew. He wished for a new life, a woman by his side – the kind of happiness his brother had managed to secure.

It's ironic – Grayson was the brother who wanted a family and kids with the house on a beach in Australia and Ethan, the brother who wasn't sure he'd ever want to get married got exactly what Grayson wanted.

With one last punch, Grayson sent the bag flying, the chain holding it breaking with the forceful impact and while he was used to finishing his sessions in the same manner, the surprised gasp he heard informed him someone else hadn't.

“Who the fuck are you?” Grayson grumbled, turning toward a girl who was trying to remain inconspicuous, keeping to the shadows.

“I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!” His roaring voice caused the girl to step back, frightened.

“I just wanted to talk.” She managed to say, breathless. She didn’t seem to falter in her wish to do so.

“This was a closed session.” Grayson lowers his voice, noticing the girl is uncomfortable, but he still couldn’t see her face. “I don’t appreciate strangers around when I train.”

"Sorry," the girl shivered as Grayson approached, his usually dark eyes filled with anger.

"Don't ever. Do that. Again," he growled; his eyes completely turning black. He wanted to make sure she deleted any footage if she took some, but when she steps closer, he’s the one losing his breath.

“Y/N?” His eyes widen, finding it hard to believe she had come to see him. After almost a year of no contact, Y/N, his best friend, had come to him.

“You don’t seem well, Gray.” Her concerned tone breaks him out of her spell and he swallows thickly.

“It’s the stress of an upcoming match. I’m fine.” He shrugs it off, dragging his forearm across his forehead to clear the sweat. He didn’t know if his heart’s speed was due to boxing or seeing Y/N, but the ache in his chest was certainly her doing.

“Is that why you can’t look me in the eye? You forget I know you.” She licks her lips, stepping closer with caution. She could admit Ethan had sent her because he was drowning in guilt of leaving, but she wanted to see him again. Even if the last time she saw him was also the time he broke her heart and told her to leave and not come back.

He often spoke in anger, things he never really meant. It was something she was used to, but she couldn’t take any longer. So, when he spoke the unforgivable words, she listened. For once in her life, Y/N listened and to be here, stand before him? That was the hardest thing she ever had to do.

“You’ve been gone for a year. You know shit about me now.” Grayson spat, turning halfway away from her to find his water bottle.

“And whose fault was that?” She purses her lips, leaning against a wall with an unreadable expression on her face. Well, he could tell she’s annoyed, but that was a constant for her in his presence. She had learned to hide her feelings away and in a way Grayson was happy she did. It was far too easy to read her in the past and he knew it would bring her a lot of grief in the past.

“You chose to leave.” Grayson counters, his frown deepening and yet her scoff made him soften.

“You told me leave and never come back! If you ever watched that big mouth of yours, you’d realize the shit you say hurts! It pushes people away and if you keep telling them to leave, they eventually do!” Y/N never intended to shout, but he always had a way of pushing her buttons.

In the past, Y/N was the calm to his storm. She could easily diffuse any situation, set him back on the right pat. She was the one girl Ethan truly believed could ever fit his brother’s temper. She was perfect for him in every way. But Grayson was determined to prove his brother otherwise and he managed to do so when she checked out of his life.

“You know what?” Y/N chuckles dryly, raising her arms in mock surrender. “I’m done. I shouldn’t have come.” Turning on her heel, she had expected to walk out, her mind at peace. She told herself she tried and that was more than enough – more than she owed him. In fact, she did it to remind herself why she was right to walk away, but the last thing she expected was for Grayson to run after her, taking her by her elbow and spinning her to face him.

“Please don’t.” He whispers, barely forming words as he chokes up at the thought of watching her walk away for the second time in his life. He made the mistake once, he didn’t plan on repeating it.

“Don’t what?” She didn’t make it easy on him, daring him to stop running and just admit he needs help.

“Don’t leave me.” Grayson manages, his grip on her elbow growing tighter, nearly painful.

“Why not?” Unblinking, she fixes her gaze on him, awaiting for any reason to stay. She had so many reasons to go, too many to count, but only one would make her stay and it was the cause of their last argument.

But he didn’t say it. He didn’t utter a single thing, simply releasing her elbow as she pulled back.

“You’ll never be able to say it, will you?” She narrows her eyes at him. Eyes that once looked at him with devotion and longing had turned hard and haunted. “You threw the words around so easily back then, but you could never tell me the same.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Y/N’s eyes fall to his wrapped hands, taking notice of the way he wrapped them.

Once upon a time, she wrapped his knuckles. She was his lucky charm. She was the girl who loved him so easily, without a doubt, but he never loved her back.

“Good luck. I truly hope you find what you’re looking for.” She wraps her arms around her, as if she’s comforting herself.

Grayson watched her leave, staring at her disappearing figure as he felt loneliness creep up on him again. He had traded everything for his career, Y/N included.

She’s right, he threw the L word around so much that it lost meaning. And perhaps he did love her, but could he give her anything more than a maybe? It didn’t feel fair to drag her back in his life only to break her heart again.

Y/N deserved better, Grayson decided. For the first time in years, he did the selfless thing – he let his good luck charm go. It didn’t feel good, but it felt right.

Drawing a deep breath, Grayson closed his eyes and hoped one day she’ll see that letting her go was his way of saying “I love you”.

[svnaslove]

heyy i saw ur requests were open and decided to butt in hehe 😼😼 so i was wondering if u could do one where tsukishima, tanaka and asahi have a gf w kinda hippie vibes yk? like she is vegetarian, loves all kinds of animals and is always kind hearted towards the earth (maybe add a little 🍃 addiction there idk)!! thank u so much in advance 🥺 i wish u hella success on ur blog bby <3

this request is so cool omg, i hope you like it, i’m not super knowledgeable of hippie things but i tried to the best of my abilities, i hope it didn’t come off as too stereotypical and thank you so much that’s so sweet 🥺

BF HC’s of hippie vibes s/o~ | Tanaka, Tsukishima, Asahi

gn!reader | warnings~ lil🍃 mention on tanaka  | fluff :)

────────────────────────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.  

Tanaka

this boy thinks you’re like the coolest human being ever

at first when you told him that you were vegetarian though he was like ???wut ??

took him a while to understand but then eventually he became vegetarian with you too ( on his own accord ofc :) )

but those first couple of weeks without meat he was D Y I N G, you gave him those vegetarian friendly nuggets and ‘bacon’ and he was finally able to survive, poor tanaka

you’re an artist and you like to draw/paint psychedelic art and one time he asked you to paint on him and he didn’t take it off for a whole week flkjdsf

you both�� 🍃 together and it’s the most hilarious experience ever

if you thought this boi was crazy before the  🍃, you are mistaken.

will literally start talking to you in whale,, and you talk whale back 🤦‍♀️

will go to protests with you ALL OF THE TIME

environment protests, animal rights protests, human rights protests, you two go to all of them

he loves you so much and he thinks you’re so cool he sometimes can’t believe you chose him and is so happy that you helped turn his life around and see everything through a new perspective.

────────────────────────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.  

Tsukishima

Thinks you’re the cutest thing ever when you start getting all passionate talking about the environment and how there are some many trees getting cut and burned down

To show how cute he thinks you are when you talk about the trees he opens his arms to give you a hug and calls you

“💖 🧚‍♀️✨ my little lorax ✨🧚‍♀️ 💖”

(bonus points to this monstrosity of a nickname if you’re short)

You are Tsukishimas’ Little Lorax ™

Teases you but he actually thinks you’re amazing

Accidently ends up being a pescatarian because of you (pescatarian means basically a vegetarian that eats fish) and he didn’t even notice skfjsldk

You guys meditate every morning it’s just your little thing that you guys do together and it’s so cute kfdjskf

Will deny the fact that he meditates with you to anyone who asks😭

Started getting super concerned with making sure that everything he buys is eco-friendly and isn’t tested on animals since you guys got together,,, like it’s gotten to the point where it’s intense 

Will sing Let it Grow from The Lorax to you on your birthday instead of Happy Birthday, except in this case you are the one that’s growing because it’s your birthday and he gives absolutely no fucks to any protesting to this

────────────────────────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Asahi

Omg this baby

He loves your hippie vibes so much, he just loves it so much

He adopted your life style so quick i think it was literally meant for him

Homeboi started playing ukelele and now owns a hammock, like im telling you this boi was made for the hippie lifestyle

You guys go on dates at the park and end up making little flower crowns for each other it’s the cutest thing ever istg im about to cry

You two will be hanging out and listening to Bob Marley, all the time, always

Those stone and minerals that give off good vibes~ ?

They’re all over you guys’ apartment

Matching crystal necklaces that give positive energy because yes

You two have your own little garden patch and you two grow your own fruits and veggies🥺

────────────────────────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[shsl-fluff]

uhh,,, saw your reply to my ask and i- snsjs thanks a lot, ur really nice. i guess I'll request something to get ya started, I hope you don't mind! 👉🏻👈🏻 could i get sdr2 boys w/ a fem! shsl baker s/o? s/o is really affectionate and sweet too, she wears pink and pastel clothing with her baker outfit, + firmly believes in the phrase "sometimes kindness is enough" + that even bad people deserve a second chance. just trying to ship my cute af oc with my fav boys, don't mind me.. 👉🏻👈🏻 >u< 💐

This was really fun to write! I'm so sorry that it took a while. Also, some of these are more based in the middle of the relationship, some are more meeting to the beginning of the relationships. I hope you don't mind :)

Sdr2 boys with a fem, shsl baker S/O who is very kind, patient, and affectionate

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

People aren't normally very patient with him, especially due to how on edge he can get

It's a bit shocking for him to see that you've stuck around, even before you started dating

When you two first cuddled he was so embarrassed. Blushing bright red and muttering a few reluctant insults before going quiet and just being a bright red mess. 

You don't remember if he fell asleep in your arms, or if you fell asleep in his, but it didn't matter.

You kiss him every morning. Sometimes it wakes him up and other times it doesn't, but it makes you happy either way. 

He really has a sweet tooth, even if he doesn't like admitting it. Peko and yourself might be some of the only ones who know.

You often surprise him with sweet things. Cakes, cookies, cupcakes, and especially doughnuts.

He always acts a bit annoyed at first but the facade collapses as he eats

"You didn't have to make me anything, you know? I don't like sweets"

"Thank you, (Y/N)... This is amazing, as usual" 

Gundham Tanaka

The Lord of darkness and a sweet baker never seemed like they'd be the best pair, but they were. 

Even before you got together, you would surprise him with small cakes you were creating recipes for to get his opinions

"A Lord of darkness such as myself does not need such worldly goods!"

Yet he still eats them and showers you with compliments

Apparently, all the horrific forces at play in the many universes would enjoy them

When you found out about his demonic beasts, you found them absolutely adorable

You went to your recipe book to see if you could find any treats for hamsters but couldn't find any. 

The same went for online

So you made that your mission. Making a sweet for only the most ferocious of hamster beasts.

You tried to keep it a secret, but gundham found out, and declared he must join you on your mission in life. 

Every afternoon he would meet you at your kitchen and you'd both work on recipes to find something that would be easy to replicate and mass produce that brings the dark devas powers to their fullest potential. 

You would work until the early hours of the morning. What was once going to be a small present had spiraled out of control, but you didn't mind. 

It was fun to spend your time with someone as passionate as the ultimate breeder.

When you had finally cracked the code, it was early in the morning. He was so happy that he looked like he was about to hug you

"(Y/N), I often wish you weren't a mere human." He said as he watched the devas eat their sacred meals.

"Even a human of your strength would perish by simply touching me, and it pains my heart"

He continued to ramble about how his power had the ability to destroy any human, and how he sometimes feared making companions for that reason

And then you hugged him

He was caught by surprise, and shocked when you didn't turn to dust in front of him

Maybe you weren't human after all

He decided you would be a perfect companion to rule the underworld with someday.

He crowned you the princess of darkness and unwavering determination.

Hajime Hinata 

Though he was a reserve course student, Hajime would often spend time with your class after school. 

He just became one of the pals.

You loved giving out treats during homeroom, so you would make sure to save him some to give him after school.

"I'm so sorry that it isn't warm, Hinata! Oh! What if you come with me? I'll make you some of whatever you want!"

You dragged him off to your room. 

"What do you want? I'll make anything!" 

He reluctantly said he'd have some chocolate chip cookies. 

You whipped them up instantly and gave them to you nice and warm. 

He thanked you generously.

You continued the habit of making him things, making them more and more creative.

His favorite was your orange zest cupcakes

He had wanted to ask you on a date for a while, but was too shy to. He was a reserve course student, why would you go after him of all people? 

Mahiru ended up being sick of him being so shy, so she asked for him.

You laughed and accepted. 

You both went out to dinner a few days later. He was flustered and yet also a little frustrated that Mahiru rushed him. 

The dinner went overall well, and he walked you home that evening. 

He thanked you for coming out with him and being so kind and sweet 

And then you suddenly 

Kissed his cheek

He went deep red and flustered as he sorta blanked out

He kissed you back quickly as you parted ways.

You both couldn't wait for tomorrow

Imposter (Byakuya)

You decided to hand out brownies to your class one morning, when they were nice and warm. 

Almost everyone showered you with praise for the baked goods, but one person especially. Byakuya Togami. 

He told you it was the best food made by a commoner he had ever tasted. 

You two slowly grew closer as you brought in baked goods once a week. 

At first he had treated you with overall indifference, yet as you talked to him more he slowly opened up to you. 

He talked about his favorite foods, his favorite brands, and even his hobbies. 

As you two started to talk out of school, you noticed some things that didn't seem to fit in with the way he normally talked. He wasn't calling you a commoner anymore.

He started to treat you like an equal. 

One morning when you were handing out baked goods during class, he gave you a note. 

Meet me at my locker after school today. I have something important to talk to you about -Byakuya Togami

He didn't say anything else, besides a quiet thanks. 

When you went to his locker after school, he looked surprisingly anxious

"Follow me, we're going to the park, (Y/N)" he said coolly 

He sat down on the bench next to you under a cherry blossom tree. 

He let his secrets spill. That he always wanted to be someone else. Someone who would be noticed. That he wasn't even sure who he was… 

He spoke quietly and with a steady voice as he stared you in the eyes

"Would you really care about someone who you don't really know?" He asked. 

"Yes, yes I would Byakuya. Because even if that isn't your name, I didn't befriend a name or a face… I befriended you for your heart" 

He looked like he was about to cry as he pulled you into a soft embrace. 

Kazuichi Soda

Souda really, really loved touch, and was surprisingly easy fluster.

He loved it when you held his hand in public, it would make his heart thunder out of his chest.

Not to mention cuddling

Running your hands through his hair

He would rub your back sometimes, too. 

Whenever your kitchen gadgets broke, he would rush over and fix them.

He tried to add some mods, too. To make things faster or more efficient.

They were often to fast to use reasonably, but you thanked him for them anyway

You loved surprising him in his garage when he was working. 

You would always bring him his favorite- death by chocolate cupcakes. 

Sometimes you'd get grease on your clothes. He'd rush to help you clean them and try to get the stains out. 

When he realized they wouldn't be able to fully get it out, he took her to the store and bought the same outfit, along with something else.

He adored spoiling you.

You were his princess.

Nagito Komaeda 

You had heard some of the things your classmates had said about one of the ultimate lucks. That he was creepy and had an obsession with the other ultimates

You didn't believe them. You didn't think they were lying or anything, just that they didn't understand him. 

You decided to introduce yourself to him, and he was so excited.

An ultimate would talk to him?

He apologized in advance for having to put up with trash like himself.

You assured him he wasn't trash, and even invited him to hang out after school. 

He asked about what your ultimate talent was.

When he heard baker, he was awed. Oh the hope that you would be able to bring into others with your treats!

You two would gradually hang out more and more and become better friends. 

You would bake him something every time, but something always turned out wrong.

A bit of eggshell somehow got in, the vanilla would slip out of your fingers and dump into the batch, the baking time on the recipe was wrong, or something had spilled on your cookbook

Nagito had to anxiously explain the way his luck worked. Terrible luck had to come before good luck, followed by even more terrible luck.

"Well then, I don't mind! As long as you're getting some good luck, I don't mind having to bake something a few times to get it correct for you due to bad luck"

He was shocked by your amount of hope and kindness. 

"What do you think the good luck is, by the way?" You asked him suddenly

"To be honest, I think its spending time with you after school, (Y/N)"

He asked you out, and you accepted. He thought it was all his luck, but it wasn't. 

You loved giving him love and affection. Even small things like holding his hands in public, to cuddling him on the couch when you watch tv together. 

The bad luck would really be inconvenient, yet you got through it if it meant you got to spend time with him. 

He often rambled about how much he didn't deserve you, yet you always cut him off and tell him how much you loved him. 

He loved you so much

You loved him so much.

Nekomaru Nidai

You two were both rather sweet to others, so it made sense that you got along right away. 

You quickly became the power couple of the school

He would pick you up and carry you on his shoulders all the time and make up little excuses for why he'd do it

Maybe it'd be faster if he just took you

It was for his workout

You had to grab something on the shelf

So on and so forth. 

You didn't mind, you just loved being carried by him. 

You would have movie nights with him all the time. 

You'd make cookies and pop some popcorn, and then cuddle with him or sit on his lap as the movie started

His favorite movie was Rocky

His favorite movie snack was your oatmeal bar cookies.  

Sometimes he massages you during the movies. You swear that those are the best things in the world.

He invites you to work out with Akane all the time. You aren't very athletic but accept anyway!

He has a list of exercises to help different parts of your body so you get a balanced yet not painfully difficult workout. It's one he had once used for a beginner's team, but it works well for you too. 

He makes sure to work out at a pace you can handle and gives you tons of tips before going off to spar with Akane

Sometimes, the winner gets your cookies. 

Those are the most intense any of their battles get

Teruteru Hanamura

You and Teruteru had something in common before even knowing each other, as both of your ultimates were centered around culinary

He hadn't really tried to bake before

You decided to invite him to your home so you could show him what he was missing

He treated it like it was a date, and kept making inappropriate jokes the whole time, but you didn't really mind too much. 

He was having fun after all. 

You guys kept inviting each other over, either cooking or baking with one another. 

You realized he had feelings for you, but didn't reciprocate for a while

One day when you were cooking together it just hit you that you loved him

You loved his passion for his craft

You loved his kindness

You loved his humor

You loved him.

You asked him out

He accepted

Some things- a lot of things- stayed the same.

You would cook and bake every day together and search through recipe books to find new things to make

Other things changed

You were both big on cuddling and affection and couldn't get out of eachothers arms at night

His accent totally changed too. You didn't expect him to speak in a southern accent, but also didn't mind

It was nice to hear him talk about how beautiful you were in that voice. It showed you he didn't have to put up a front around you.

He would buy you aprons and dresses with light, pastel colours.

He just loved how everything looked on you. 

He would also buy some risque clothes, but if it made you very uncomfortable, he'd stop.

You realized why some of your classmates hated him, he could be pervy at times, even bordering on creepy. 

But that was just one flaw about him. 

His passion was almost unrivaled by your classmates, not to mention how funny he could be.

You just had to stick around to see that passion. Your patience went a long way. 

[vegetalass]

Don’t Just Eat the Egg, Eat the Whole Damn Nest

LMFAOOO i wrote most of this WEEKS ago after I saw this post on @rockboci’s blog abt WHAT IF twig was a RO and i was like…. Dam they right

Found it again 2nite and finished it up

Tfw ur sidestep but u also have a crush on sidestep :(

i also really wanted to figure out how to make that scenario of ‘two sidesteps’ work bc.... Damn we all sidestep bros

I also saw another post on Malin’s blog about peoples sidesteps interacting… and i was like…. Yea…. me too…

Ive been SOO busy lately that i havent been keeping up with fallen hero but all the spoilers i do see look LIT

Hopefully i can catch up soon!

Warning: contains Fallen Hero: Retribution spoilers.

FH:R belongs to @fallenhero-rebirth and Twig belongs to @rockboci

gn!Sidestep/Twig - 1229 words

It’s uh... funny the way things work out. The way that fate sometimes decides to run its course right off the track and straight into the stratosphere.  

You’ve always heard people joke about things such as alternate universes, or parallel lives, yet it has always led to you wonder why it was you that actually happened to end up in one.

Metaphorically speaking, of course, because you like to pretend that you’re someone completely normal and that nothing bad has ever happened to you in your life. EVER.

Not that you’ve ever truly managed to convince yourself of that, as there are a lot of things that you’ve done and have had done to you that you’d rather not think about, but you try to live your life the way someone normal does. You eat the things you like, you smoke the things you want, and you do your best to believe that everything is easier now that you’re not living a life that someone else created for you.

And what can fate do about that?

Nothing, because you continue to watch Twig do exactly the same.

They don’t look like you, not even close, and still, it seems as though you’ve been following their tracks since before you can even remember. Back before you had seen the sky, when you still used to listen to other kids whisper about who had and who hadn’t managed to see the real world as if it wouldn’t get you all killed if anyone human heard.

You know they all did, and knowing that is even the reason you got to escape.

“You know,” Ortega said once, interrupting your thoughts while wiping coffee cake crumbs off his cheek as he spoke, “I did tell Chen you were nice.”

You try to be kind. You try to be strong. And you like to hope that you know Twig a little better than you have ever let on.

Granted, they know you, too, but... you seem to have some form of mutual understanding when it comes to keeping quiet about the things that only the both of you know.

Your shared abilities, for one. Your different-yet-shared heinous plans, another. Even Dr. Mortum, and a bunch more stuff like that.

Except that… Twig works for themselves, and you, um... work for the good of the people and all things that come with upturning the government on behalf of getting revenge and once and for all being free.

Vice versa, maybe?

Not that you could ever say that out loud, of course, as you’ve always been more of an “in your head” type of person anyway, which you find to be quite ironic in this case, when Twig just so happens to smile whenever you think anything mean.

Twig knows all this about you, though, as well as the in-your-head revenge game that you play, as you find that they actually happen to know a lot. You know they agree when you think about it, and you can always feel the way Twig’s thoughts shift from black to white as if they were saying “cheers” to the single-person party in their mind that was made up of only you.

You don’t catch them smirking. You never do. 

That being said, Twig is… not really a secret. Not to you, at least. And it’s a funny battle that you fight almost every single day, because you aren’t a secret to them, either.

Twig sees Ortega. You, in a way, look, at Ortega. Twig looks at Herald, and you, just as strangely, see Herald.

Or... something like that, at least. You don’t think too hard about what’s really happening anymore, spending more time focusing on both getting revenge and then running away for the rest of your sorry life. Twig raises their glass to that thought, as well.

Because it’s as if fate decided to slice the world in two when you died during the Heartbreak at the exact same time as Twig.

Different room and different window, but still. You would argue that it counts, even if some might say the split came around the same time you were extracted from a water tank into a world already succumbed in tears.

You always knew Twig was actually a crybaby. It was just too bad you didn’t really know them at all, and frankly still don’t.

You just don’t know if that’s a good thing. You don’t know if you want to.

Not that you were ever on the waiting list to become a Ranger the way that Twig was, but you had your moments.

You remember Ortega. His smile, his charm, and his big, warm hands. You remember Chen, who in retrospect didn’t like Twig much either, and how you felt whenever he turned his back towards you but his front towards them. And you definitely remember feeling as favored as a lonely and lost vigilante could ever could, even when Twig gave all the interviews and you simply made your way.

Things weren’t great as a vigilante, but you had your friends, and Twig had theirs. It was just a shame that they were the same people.

You almost wish you could go back. Back to when all the titles (and skintight clothing) still fit, although in some ways, you like to think that sometimes, they still do.

Even if they can and did get you killed.

You can’t blame the Rangers for picking sides, just as you can’t blame Twig for feeling equally as resentful when they failed to find their body, too, and then decided to give up.

Or something.

Whatever.

You have that in common.

Same home, same hospital, same death.

Cheers, Twig!

There’s a silent conversation you have with Twig, one that hangs on the balance beam between trust, empathy, and the fact that you, in a way, almost share blood.

Twig ignored the thought during the last time you saw them. Although, they happen to ignore you a lot, anyway, as you remember in detail how you could only sputter are the blank expression they passed your way during the last time you tried to converse, as if you were never meant to have a place on this split-in-half-earth.

Even if you’re partly why it split.

Oh well.

“I was thinking that, uh..” you start, feeling like one of those ugly gray birds with big red eyes, before you’re interrupted by a voice as cold as steel.  

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t.” Their reply is quick, yet miraculously timed and callous, even if you do your best to assume that it was a joke.

Ortega looks at you with raised eyebrows and shrugs, doing nothing to hide the broken-lipped smirk that opens his jaw.

You try again, voice hoarse “I was thinking that maybe next time you go to the diner, I could come too.”

You try to smile, pushing any annoyance you feel towards Twig full force.

They don’t seemed phased, however, and continue to smile slightly at Ortega’s laugh when he assures you that, yes, you’re always welcome to get dinner with them at “any time and always.”

Twig’s thoughts twist again, the way they always do when you think of them, especially now at your insistence that you don’t want to be left behind, and you can feel that fucking smirk again.

You wonder what it’s like to have a sibling.

[noussommeslessquelettes]

hey hey i have a question abt adhd/autism if that's okay. I've been told by a therapist that i have adhd and I've looked at posts and online sources and so far it fits but there's something abt it that's missing/not enough. every time i look at sources and online posts for autism it fits me more (and explains my sensory sensitivities much better) should i look into this? or is that up to me? (thanks btw)

ADHD is highly comorbid with other NDs so it wouldn’t surprise me if you had both. My current therapist told me that it’s very common for people who have milder autism to either be misdiagnosed with ADHD, or for their ADHD diagnosis to be caught while their autism diagnosis is missed (I was a case of the latter, being diagnosed with ADHD for as long as I can remember but only being told I have autism at 20.) My autism only got caught by my third therapist, and even he said he was dubious at first because I can emulate neurotypical social behaviours fairly well according to him. I believe this occurs a lot more with DFAB aspies bc social norms are drilled into us a lot more diligently than to DMAB aspies, which I think there’s been studies on for ADHD that say this is the case and produces a lot more undiagnosed DFAB/female-read aspies. Not sure what ur gender/AGAB is, but if ur like me that might also be a factor.

The reason my therapist suggested autism for me was because of my anxieties surrounding change. When people think autism, they often look only for the social aspect, but we looked into the other aspects of ASD (difficulty with change, sensory issues, and the overlapping aspects with ADHD of course) and felt it was a good fit for me. In the end, he asked if I thought the ADHD was a misdiagnosis after all, but with my hyperactivity and how much my medication helps me I told him I think I have both.

Of course, what you do next is up to you; whether or not you want to go back to that therapist and discuss autism as a possibility is your choice. I would suggest, if you do that, to have a few supportive points in mind when you go to them (I was lucky that my therapist focuses on child psychology so he’s familiar with cases of autism, but ur therapist might not be so well-versed in it so it might not be a decision y’all can bang out in one session.) You can start it as “so I was looking into autism and I feel like some of it might apply to me. For example, I often have difficulties with certain textures of food, which is impacting my ability to enjoy or even eat my food...” etc. etc. In my experience, therapists can tend to be problem-solvers (like if you go to a physiotherapist, it’s because you have an injury that needs to heal, same sort of thing goes for a psychotherapist.) Presenting things as “I have this thing, and it causes me issues when x” helps them know what to do and how to help you. Don’t fabricate things, of course, but draw on real-life experience to let them know why this diagnosis will help u.

If you choose not to go to a professional about this, though, know that’s totally okay. There’s nothing wrong with self-diagnosis, if you don’t feel like it’s causing you issues that need to be dealt with. If you’re on medication for ADHD, though, and you feel that ADHD isn’t what you have (or you feel that the medication doesn’t help/is actually making your symptoms worse,) I would suggest discussing it with a healthcare professional. ADHD meds can be some serious shit, and if they’re not helping your symptoms it’s best to get taken off of them and try a different avenue of treatment. (disclaimer: I am NOT a healthcare professional, and do NOT go off your medications based on the advice of someone online. That is a decision you and your prescribing healthcare professional must make together!!!!!!)

TL;DR, the major points have been bolded for you because this is a lot of typing and I don’t wanna hurt ur poor face orbs. It sounds to me like you might be autistic--whether instead of ADHD or in addition to it. I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to send me another ask if you have any updates!

[thezeekrecord]

GAGEGN ch9

[index/summary]

REPORT: Regarding the unexpected return of subject "Benry"

Benry was in his house.

After years of studying the strange hole in reality that Benry had resided in, years of hoping he would wake from his coma someday, and a video game world that made it impossible for him to question either of those things, Tommy finally had a chance to talk to Benry. As soon as he was done biting into uncooked instant ramen blocks.

“Umm, do you want that cooked?” Darnold offered hesitantly.

“Cooked?” Benry echoed before crunching loudly into it again.

Darnold didn’t reply.

Benry had gone out of his way to move one of the nice barstools Tommy and Darnold had picked out, sitting behind the bar section in their kitchen in his metal chair he’d set out again. The counter was too tall, giving Benry the effect of looking comically small as he peered over the countertop at Tommy and Darnold.

“So...where have you been all this time?” Tommy finally settled to ask him.

“Squatter’s rights, bro.” Benry replied.

“You were squatting this whole time?” Darnold questioned.

“Yeah, why didn’t you—uhh, well...” Tommy stopped, remembering the way Mr. Freeman had threatened Benry with a flaming spoon. Maybe squatting was the better alternative after all. “Never mind.”

Benry took another loud bite of his ramen block.

“Umm...Benry...” Tommy began, pausing when Benry took another bite, “can I ask you—uhh, about the Nihilanth project?”

Tommy noticed Darnold’s curious look as they waited for a response from Benry. After everything, Tommy had never even brought up the Nihilanth project with him—not intentionally, there was just so much else to discuss.

“Wha...?” Benry asked.

“The project that I was—where we met?” Tommy fumbled. “If you remember that at all, I—it’s kind of...a surprise to see you, actually.”

“I haven’t been gone that long, man, I dunno...”

Tommy bit his lower lip in frustration. He didn’t blame Benry for being confused—he was more exhausted with his own inability to articulate what he was trying to say after so long. He took a moment to grab himself a soda from the fridge, cracking it open and taking a long sip as he got his thoughts together. Finally, he tried again.

“How far back do you remember?” Tommy asked.

“I dunno, man.”

“...Do you remember before, uhh, before the game started?”

“No.” Benry answered simply, crunching on the last of the ramen block. He got up from his chair, Sunkist eagerly approaching to eat the crumbs that fell from Benry’s lap to the floor as he tore open a new one and opened the microwave. Tommy and Darnold watched Benry microwave a completely raw block of noodles with no water, not even a bowl or a plate, for about a minute as smoke began to billow up inside.

“I think it’s done.” Darnold commented.

“Oh, damn.” Benry opened the microwave, releasing a small plume of smoke and taking out the block, burnt in several places.

“So...you don’t remember when we met? At all?” Tommy asked slowly.

“Yeah, we were, uhhh...” Benry put a finger to his chin. “We used to play on uhh, whaddya call ‘em. Like a ladder, but the other way.”

“...Huh?”

“The monkey bars?” Darnold filled in helpfully.

“Yeah, that. We used to play on those when we were kids.” Benry declared before taking a massive bite out of his block of burnt ramen. Sunkist, finished with the aftermath of the first one, trotted to Benry’s feet to await more crumbs. Benry continued talking with his mouth full. “We’d hide when recess ended so the teachers wouldn’t see us. Great shit.”

Tommy frowned deeply, tapping his fingers together. “...Benry, I don’t think that’s true.”

Benry shrugged.

“You were a—you were a guard in the Lambda lab.” Tommy began to explain. “Everyone called you ‘Ben’, not Benry. We used to, uhh, talk about video games. Then...you...disappeared. Dr. Coomer said, umm, apparently, you thought you saw something in the chamber. And—and—the Nihilanth, it was...if you went in, you were teleported around a bunch, but you ended up staying—you were stuck in a void, and I pulled you out. You ended up in a coma, and the Nihilanth disappeared. I—I got transferred out of the Lambda lab, though, and I never saw you again until the game started.”

Benry nodded. “Okay.”

Tommy could only stare at Benry.

“Ummm...do you remember any of that, Benry?” Darnold asked on his behalf.

“Huh? No.”

Tommy let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah, I um, it makes sense that you don’t...that you don’t remember.” He said. “I just...well...I guess I don’t actually know all that much about you. Not really.”

Benry’s usually deadpan expression turned heartbroken in an instant. “What? Man, but we’re best friends, right? I thought we were best friends.”

“We are friends!” Tommy agreed quickly. “It’s just—I don’t know. I...why did you attack us, Benry?”

“Huh?”

Tommy wasn’t sure how to make himself any clearer in that moment, so he remained silent.

Benry finished off his second block of ramen. “Yo, can I stay here tonight? I got kicked outta the house I was squatting in.”

“Uhhh—yeah, of course. But Benry—”

“Sick. I just gotta go get my stuff.”

Tommy reached out, taking Benry’s wrist to stop him as he started to leave. “Benry, could you wait a second, please?”

Benry turned back to look at Tommy expectantly.

“I just—you’re my friend, Benry, that’s not...” Tommy stopped, frowning as it grew more difficult to speak. “I just wanna understand. We don’t need to...have a big...thing, I just wanna know why.”

Benry stared at Tommy for a long moment. “...Why I what?”

Tommy took a deep breath to steady himself. “Why you attacked us at the end.”

Benry threw his head back and let out a long groan. “I don’t know, man, what’s it matter? It was in the game, it’s not like you could’ve died or anything.”

Tommy pressed his lips into a thin line, his ability to speak officially obliterated by that. When he didn’t give a response, Benry shrugged and simply disappeared into thin air. Tommy sighed deeply, rubbing his face in his hands. Sunkist nudged her head against Tommy’s elbow comfortingly, and he relaxed a little as he knelt down and buried his face into her fur. Tommy looked to his side, watching Darnold sit down awkwardly cross-legged beside him.

“Umm—do you wanna be alone? Should I go?” Darnold asked suddenly.

Tommy smiled a little, shaking his head.

Darnold nodded. “Okay. Ummm...jeez. He’s hard to talk to, huh?”

Tommy shrugged. He turned over to lay on his back, head rested against Sunkist as he pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open to navigate to his text history with Darnold. TOMMY: im sure i probably just need another approach TOMMY: hes not the same as he used to be TOMMY: i wanna be patient w him b/c hes been thru a lot TOMMY: but TOMMY: im pretty upset about it all to be honest :(

Darnold flipped his phone open, reading over Tommy’s texts carefully.

“...Yeah, it seems like a whole complicated mess.” Darnold replied, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “I get that you wanna be patient with him, but I mean, you deserve to have the space to be upset, Tommy. Even if you couldn’t have died, it still sucks he did that.” TOMMY: but what if there was a reason?? :( TOMMY: i dont wanna make an ass of myself if there was a good reason

“Well, to be fair, he’s kinda making an ass of himself already.” Darnold said flatly. “Also, I kinda find it hard to believe there’s some big intricate reason for him to do that. I find it pretty easy not to just attack my friends out of nowhere, personally.”

Tommy snickered a little. TOMMY: i get where ur coming from TOMMY: i still wanna hold out tho TOMMY: i feel like theres something were missing TOMMY: u know?

Darnold nodded. “Yeah, well, if that’s what you want, I support it. Just don’t overextend yourself or anything, alright?”

Tommy nodded as well. TOMMY: thanks darnold :)

****

“It’s just—I thought we were finally rid of him! I thought he’d fucked off forever, and then he just goes ahead and shows up at my house, with absolutely no warning?! Typical Benry.”

Dr. Coomer and Bubby sat together on Gordon’s couch, watching him pace back and forth in the living room.

“Well—” Dr. Coomer tried to start.

“At my house! Where my son lives! If he shows up while we’re out robbing banks or whatever, fine. I hate it, but fine, it’s not like I can stop him, right? But he could at least have the decency to let me have just one space that feels safe. Just one.” Gordon prattled on, waving his arms around furiously as he spoke.

“Gordon—” Bubby tried.

“I just want to feel like I can move on with my life! That’s all I want, I wanna forget about everything that happened with the resonance cascade! Everything could be perfect, I don’t have to worry about money anymore, I can just focus on raising Josh, but if he can just come into my house any time he fucking wants, I—”

“Gordon!” Bubby snapped.

Gordon stopped, looking at Bubby with wide eyes. Bubby turned pointedly to Dr. Coomer, leaning back and crossing his arms.

“Well, Gordon, I understand you’re upset. You have a right to be.” Dr. Coomer began, standing and placing a hand on his shoulder. “I believe you may need to sit down, though.”

“Huh? No, I’m fine.” Gordon said. It was only just now, though, as he finally stopped talking, that he noticed his heart was racing.

“Come along, Gordon, have a seat.” Dr. Coomer insisted. He practically dragged Gordon to the couch, sitting him down and plopping down beside him with a comforting arm over his shoulders. “I’m more than happy to listen if you need to vent your anger, but right now, you seem a little overwhelmed.”

“I’m not overwhelmed!” Gordon argued instinctively. “I love you guys, and I appreciate everything you’re trying to do, but I’m not fragile.”

Dr. Coomer exchanged a look with Bubby before turning back to Gordon. “...If you need space, that’s alright. I just want you to know we’re here for you if you need.”

“Thank you, Dr. Coomer, I...” Gordon forced a deep breath, in and out. “I just need you to let me handle this shit on my own. Okay?”

Dr. Coomer nodded hesitantly. “...Should we go?”

“Uhhh...” Gordon leaned forward, propping his elbows up on his knees and burying his face in his hands. “Y-yeah. I need some quiet. I-it’s not anything against you, I promise, it’s just...yeah.”

Gordon felt the couch shifting as Dr. Coomer and Bubby stood. He felt Dr. Coomer squeezing his shoulder for a moment as Bubby’s footsteps grew distant.

“You can call me any time you need me, Gordon.” Dr. Coomer said gently.

Gordon nodded. “I know. Thanks, Dr. Coomer.”

Dr. Coomer followed Bubby out of the house. Gordon dragged himself to his feet, heading up the stairs with light footsteps. He nudged Joshua’s door open just a little, relaxing as always at the sight of his son sleeping soundly, despite all the ruckus just a few minutes before. Then, he headed to his own bedroom with his freshly built bed, most of his belongings still in boxes. Leaving the hall light on and his door slightly ajar to let the light stream into his room, Gordon flopped down into his bed.

He didn’t get much sleep. How could he? Every sound outside jolted him awake, making him deeply miss the weight of a heavy shotgun in his hands. It was a comforting weight, reassuring that he wasn’t defenseless against anything that tried to get the jump on him. At the very least, with the excuse of building furniture, Gordon now had a heavy hammer to keep by his bedside table that he could reach for in his moments of panic. He held it now, close to his chest, after he’d been woken by the sound of someone talking on their phone outside.

Gordon forced out a deep breath, setting it back on the bedside table with a gentle clunk. If his friends saw him like this, they’d double down on their attempts to help, he was sure—and he wasn’t stupid, he knew this wasn’t normal. Above everything else, though, it was embarrassing. He’d been the guy who led them to a safe place, he should know better than anyone else that it was all going to be okay; and he knew it logically, but he couldn’t stop the kneejerk, gut fear reactions. And if he wasn’t alone in this, surely his friends already had enough on their plates. He couldn’t ask them to divert their energy into reassuring him it was going to be okay. This was something he was going to have to handle on his own.

For their sake.

[previous | next]

[dangkinronpa]

headcanons for mastermind kaede who was close to monaka because both of them idolized junko

hey kaede, heres ur headcanons! i hope u like them, and if u want me to change anything or add any more just let me know and ill get right on it! - mod kiibo

- before kaede ever tried to replicate a killing game, she considered herself to be junkos biggest fan. when she was at home, she would often put her hair into pigtails and dress up like junko, often repeating some of her more memorable phrases into a microphone as if she was speaking to a huge crowd

- when kaede first met monaka, she didnt like the younger girl. to her, monaka was just another junko fan who talked about wanting the world to end without having the guts to do anything about it, like she was willing to do. after a little bit of time, though, kaede realized the two of them actually had a lot in common, and even befriended her

- even though most people would get embarrassed if they had to admit one of their best friends was so much younger than them. kaede had no problem with it. together, the two of them would talk about their plans to replicate some of the despair junko brought to the world, eating lots of candy and laughing at how much fun it would be to keep destroying the world

- even though they were close friends, though, kaede and monaka actually disagreed on which type of candy was the best. kaede liked fruity flavored candies while monaka preferred chocolate types of candy. for anyone who listened to their conversations, it was pretty unnerving to hear them switch from killing mankind to fighting over which kind of candy was better

- when monaka set out to bring towa city into despair, kaede was rooting for her the whole way through. she wanted monaka to succeed in bringing a whole city into despair so that she could feel more confident about her ability to cause a group of teenagers her age to feel just a taste of the despair that her idol had fallen in love with

- even when monaka failed to turn komaru into the next junko enoshima, kaede felt pretty confident in her ability to bring despair to the world in a way similar to junko. she would often tell monaka about her plans and wait to see monakas wide grin before the girl gave her advice on how to improve her plans to keep them from falling apart

- once kaede actually started the killing game, she did the best she could to prevent people from seeing what she was really like. instead of appearing to be childish and bratty like other members of her group potentially acted, kaede did her best to keep a sweet smile on her face and act as if she cared about everyones well being

- when the deaths started piling in, though, it took a lot for kaede to pretend that she didnt enjoy them, but was actually greatly upset with them. during trials, she made sure her voice showed just the right amount of emotion and her face expressed what she wanted everyone to feel clearly. once she would leave to go to her room, though, she couldnt stop smiling and snickering to herself, often telling herself everything she didnt like about that person in the silence of her own room

- during the last trial, when kaede revealed herself, she couldnt help but tease the others for never realizing that she was the mastermind the whole time. she would also keep asking them if they felt despair, and how much despair, and if they wanted her to stop, and if they were about to cry or something. the survivors in her group couldnt believe that this was kaede. they all felt betrayed

- in her final moments, kaede was extremely happy to have contributed to the despair in the outside world, even if it was just a tiny bit. she couldnt stop smiling. one of the last thoughts that crossed her mind was whether or not junko or monaka was watching her, and whether or not they were proud of all she had tried to do for the sake of despair

[theday]

hide and seek, fireworks, my style, coloured, your love, dream might (romantic or platonic? i love options), i'll be there, because it's you ((((:, you smile, with you, and better with you!!!!

thank you so much for aksing falen i love these and it also got super long lmao rip

Hide & Seek: what’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone new?

in real life, its probably their shoes/socks?????? LMAO and then their appearance but im trying 2 not let their appearance stop me from becoming friends with them :-o

online, i usually??? read ppl’s abouts first???? but idk like when it comes to actually talking to them i guess itd be their typing style?? and their use of emojis/the gif function (jenny) helps me to assess them although i do know that the way they type =/= how they are as a person but thats just what i notice first

Fireworks: name something astro’s done that has made your heart explode

falen u rly had 2 do it to me? ????? but hrm…. whenever they post selcas and when they just laugh every time myungjun laughs thats the shit that gets me the most bc its so/???? pur??e??? i love them a lot theyre always so happie and theyre all smiles every time they do a vlive it makes me happie

My Style: what do you usually wear out?

clothes not 2 sound like a loner but. i rarely go outside bc i only go outside when my family eat out and thats only on like weekends and if im hanging out with pals so i always get the chance to wear the same shirt, shorts and shoes lmao 

but its a black cat shirt (used to be a button up thing but singapore is 2 hot 4 me) and blue shorts and white converse 

Coloured: favourite MV aesthetic? 

ok real talk all of their mvs are so pretty and everything??? but my favourite has to be baby or csc

Your Love: top three astro songs

o w0rm

again

confession

every minute 

Dream Night: describe a dream date with anyone

idk?? smth ive always wanted 2 do with anyone is just walk through a park or just walk when the weather is not 2 hot or 2 cold (ike what binuki did in their recent vlive) 

if we’re getting more romantic mayb just??? cuddling???? idk i rly cant see this happening tbh 

I’ll Be There: fave astro vlive you’d watch over and over again?

but theres so many :-( but possibly all of eunwoo’s just 10 minutes with binnie :-0 the shrek vlive with the ice cream made me laugh so hard though mmMM

Because It’s You: why do you love your astro bias?

ur rly gna make me do all 6 members falen??????? ill try 2 keep it short

myungjun; binnie said he was sure mj wouldnt make it into astro and im assuming its because he was the one who was a trainee the shortest but??? look at him now with his strong vocals and even stronger personality!!! astro mightve done fine without mj but listen.. their vlives, appearance on variety shows, etc. would never be able to be as funny because mj is the reason for everyones laughter and it makes me so happy??? mj has that ability to crack anybody up with his laugh and the shit he says and does is so funny too pleaseth and i just?? appreciate mj for being there so fucking  much because he really resolves any tension in the atmosphere so easily and as the oldest member im so glad to see he doesnt find anything awkward AND despite the age gap between him and sanha, theyre like the closest?? lets not forget on that one radio thing yesterday they (astro) were asked who they were most comfy with in the dorm and 3/5 answered myungjun :_) im just happy myungjun exists? thank u mj i love u mister 777

PARK JINWOO; jinjin is the one of the sweetest leaders out there and i know every group has a great leader but jinjin is really that leader to me because as the rest of astro have mentioned before, jinwoo really buys them shit and they have said that he is the sweetest?? remember in the fan made fanmeeting i dont know what its called but i linked it and just??? jinjin is literally an angel!!! the one vlive he did with dogs? my heart melted off!!!!!! he really went and learnt the names of all the dogs present in the dog cafe!!!! he stopped the black dog which was biting hard on the table bc he was scared it’d injure itself/get in trouble and just??? jinwoo is so fucking nice just ??? if u look in the dictionary park jinwoo will appear as a synonym believe me ok and jinjin is part of dance line everybody lets not forget that he dances to release stress and that amaizng intro to again he did with rocky for their dream pt2 showcase because that was fucking so ?? i love talent and! AND i will never shut up but as a leader jinwoo takes care of his members so much and he also knows how to have fun with them and he jsut!!!!! i love him a lot

cha! eu! nwoo! (dongmin); i know 4 a fact that this will get so long lmao rip but first i just wanted to say that i am so proud of dongmin and how far he has come as a dancer and vocalist in astro ok so obviously i dont know the real hard facts tm and i can never tell the difference in anything so i dont know how accurate i really am but last year (and even now) i know eunwoo had a lot of personal schedules and he barely had time to practice? ?? i really dont know but im p sure that was it???? idk but dongmin has had to work so hard the whole of last year with the amount of comebacks astro did and i jus??? im so proud of eunwoo for being able to work hard for astro and still attend all those other schedules at the same time??? like i said idk how much time he did have/didnt have but i know it mustve been little with how late it would be whenever he arrived back at the dorm after his stuff and??? eunwoo had to practice his lines and the dance (astro’s choreography looks hard as shit and its tiring too) in time for their comeback promotions ??? and!! dongmin used to be that member (now its all of astro) who would constantly do vlives for arohas and lets not forget his just one 10 minutes where he would do vlives that were always over 10 minutes where he just talks to fans im eternally grateful for all the work dongmin puts in for astro and arohas and im sure he puts in more than 100% effort when it comes to his personal schedules too!!!! dongmin deserves the best and ive seen someone say b4 that he’d probably feel bad if he had more lines bc he was already “stealing” the spotlight by being a “face genius” and i just!! youre righ??t???? eunwoo is incredibly selfless and its easy 2 assume these kinda things tbh lee dongmin is so much more than his face and visuals he is a hardworker and!!! he loves his members and fans so damn much im !!! i love eunwoo so much i hope he knows how much we love him 

binnie; god with bin there isnt somethiing that made me love him??? all he did was go :) and my brain decided i was gonna love him forever ok but……hrm….. i guess i love him because hes such a dork?? like. .. when he laughs he just snorts and its so funny lmao i believe bin’s a good friend too well no shit ?? uMMm moon bin has a cute smile yall…… whenever he smiles my heart explodes hes just that powerful and also!!! bin has been a trainee for 7 years now and im just !! he made it!! like what the post i reblogged earlier said, he probably had other dreams but he still stuck with being an idol ??? in the end and that !!! im sad he didnt get to pursue the things he couldve liked better but im also happy hes managed to find a dream he likes and that hes basically living the dream right now??? and im so happy for him because 7 years may not be a lot to some but bin’s still young his childhood was basically training??? im just!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of him and now hes on the same kind of music shows his faves are on too nd it makes me rly proud (idk any other words my vocabulary is so fucking weak oh my god) he is having the time of his life with astro and arohas right now im so glad i forgot what i wanted 2 say im sorry bin i did u dirty im2 tense rn but i love u and i love bin bc of how much hes done and the amt of scarifies he has 2 have made in order 2 get 2 where he is tdy 

rocky swag (minhyuk); minhyuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him because !! hes so awkward but he tries his best for arohas!!!!!!!!!! in that first vlive he did alone he was so nervous but he managed to warm up and in the next vlive he did alone he did something that he was comfortable with (dance) and im glad he’s able to do vlives normally now even if there isnt any recent solo vlives i can see how much more comfortable he is on vlive now !!!!!! my love for minhyuk is similar to bin’s bc all he did was smile and suddenly????? im in love???? its the swag lmao but seriousy tho after finding out rocky did all sorts of dance i found him really??? respectable??? because he was able to learn so many types of dance and isnt that the coolest thing ever???? lets not forget how well he can sing???? im happy and so proud (jesus) that he sang on the recent album since previously he said that he didnt hvae any plans of singing in the albums so!!!! now!! hes singing!!!!!!!!!!! although the songs dont do him justice tbh its ok we all know how lovely he sounds when he sings especially in the binuki vlive where he sang wyls i swer my ear drums were blessed?? park minhyuk can do anything get urself a legend like rocky so basiclaly i love rocky aka park minhyuk bc hes just!!!!! outstanding???? hes handsome, he can dance really fucking well, he can sing and rap !!!!!!!!!!!!! and?? hes just a fool??? he’s warming up to doing vlives and just being himself and its the greatest thing ever i love him a lot

sanha; YOON SANHA!!!!!!!!! Love of my LIFE the baby i will protect for the rest of my LIFe??????? he is DAT boi .. the boy i love so much with my whole heart!! sanha is so cute and he just!! hes always making fun and bullying the older members i love it so much but ofc everyones weak 4 sanha bc b*tch is 2 cute honestly can relate if sanha punched or stole my money ill let him off bc hes just that cute . lets not forget he learnt how 2 play the guitar all by himslef jae is shaking ok and sanha is such a nice voice?????? every time he screams i lose my hearing its ok id do anything 4 this boy???? and to think hes only (1) year older than me is kinda??? wowie???? sanha is rly out here being a superstar and a student @ the same time and hes doing an awesome job @ being amazing !!! sanha is so cute and just?????? he loves his other members and family so much i love sanha a lot and i hope nobody will ever make him cry (sad tears) bc i will personally go to that person and we’ll have a nice chat :-) i cant think of anything atm but sh loves arohas so much and hes always doing aegyo 4 us idk its just . … thakn u young prince

You Smile: name three things that have made you smile in the past week

ok easy

mx comeback

daily astro vlives (its okay if they dont do vlives everyday they have 2 rESt)

becoming friends with lovely mbbs :_) 

with you: talk about a mutual without using their name

how long is this answer gonna be oh w0rm.. but here we go this is abt someone who ive never talked about but do talk 2 p often and theyre the other online person i am most comfortable with talking 2!!!!! 

theyre great tbh and rly good @ art and i know theyve gone through so many shit things in their life but im so glad theyre still hanging on even if their sleep schedule is totally wack still love u tho lmao at least theyre getting more than enough sleep!! theyre cute when they see sanha and it makes me soft seeing them go soft bc theyre never that warm??? when it comes 2 other ppl (kihyun crying) and im just so glad i managed to help them get (further) into astro!! being able to talk to somebody about astro has helped me so much and then i became friends with jen but im still so thankful to have a friend like [redacted] and im happy we’re friends!!!!!!!! i love them so much and i hope their days are filled with happiness even if it doesnt last for long i hope they have at least (1) happy time each day bc they deserve the BEST!!!!!!!!!!! 

even when i was still a young myday they helped me by providing links and everything just telling me where everything was and i was so :_) bc!!! they !! a bigger account was helping me someone who didnt even have 20 followers at that time and without them i wouldve never found anything tbh!!! even now when im the one whos been into astro longer, they still manage to find things so much faster than me and imlike?????? wow thats amaizng???? theyre amazing and i appreciate their presence on my tl/dash and in my dms so much thats one of the reasons why i thought they were older bc of how mature and just?? the older vibe they gave off was strong with they way they help people and whenever they comment on my tweets or someone else’s tweets im like !!!!!!!!! you’re doing amazing sweetie 

theyre so easy to talk to and even though our humor was something i thought was very different we manage to make each other laugh so much and i jsut!!! happiness!!!!!!! 

ok this was abt bell and i dnt think they’ll ever see this but if u do i love u a lot bell thank u for being alive ur so funnie and cute just thank u so mch!!! for everything

better with you: your favourite memory related to astro?

every time i watch them on vlive live i get so happy and thats my favourite memory

[minhyukie]

hello it’s ur Local Mess here to talk about herself and do a lot of tag games im sorry for being the worst these are literally from within the past like two months and you all probably don’t even remember tagging me or care about my answers but than k you to @ki-hyunie​ @haehoney​ @honeyvevo​ @94wons​ @ckyun​ for tagging me in these i’m putting them all together so that you can all have the ultimate compilation of useless information about me!! please enjoy!!

im not tagging anyone because i don’t want to subject anyone to this but if u too love talking about yourself please tag me because i love hearing people talk about themselves

Name - amy

Age - 20

Height - 5′3 (160 cm?)

Ult Bias - seohyun + minhyuk the two loves of my life :(

Nicknames - i don’t really get many nicknames?? my roommate calls me amu though

Zodiac sign - aries

Favorite fruit - mmm kiwi? raspberries? strawberries? mangos!!! i fucking love fruits i don’t know i love them all

Favorite season - probably summer!

Favorite color - pink!! pink pink pink!

Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa - hot chocolate!!!

Favorite animal(s) - GOATS (if ur reading this @ me in goats)

Dream trip - i’ve been there very very briefly but i’d love to live in germany for a little?? i guess that’s not a trip but idk i’d be happy going on a trip anywhere tbh :’)

Number of blankets you sleep with - one!

Dogs or cats - i love my cats!! even though i’ve recently discovered that i’m probably allergic fjdkslf

Side blog - this... used to be a sideblog until i became too involved with mx and snsd :// so i guess my old main is a sideblog? idk @morningcomes​ <<<

Follower count - a little over 700!!! i love u all thanks for putting up w me

When did you start this blog - this particular blog was the beginning of 2017! but ive been on tumblr since like 2010 i think ://

relationship status: it’s... um.... it’s complicated fdkslfjsd let’s just say im in a relationship even though im not sure if we’re actually dating or what we’re doing.... let’s just say that

favorite color: pink!!!!!!!!!!!!

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick

last song i listened to: i really like humble and dna by kendrick lamar so i’ve had those on repeat the last few days!

last movie i watched: ... moana?? god it’s really been a long time since i’ve watched a movie

top three tv shows: friends!!! fullmetal alchemist brotherhood if that counts? avatar the last airbender.. a forever favorite

top three characters: look im the worst at coming up w these things so i’ll just give my favorites from the above shows: rachel!! or monica or chandler i don’t know i love them all :( envy!! winry!!! zuko and toph!

top three ships: ok i just want to clarify like.. pairings and not ships but joohyuk!! hyohyun :’’) and.... wow how am i supposed to limit this to a third one i guess i’ll say kihyuk because im in love with them the past few days

Bold the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have had braces There is something i would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports I’ve been on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my #1 passion I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event (i honestly don’t know what this means but imma say yes) I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

(ok listen... lemme just reiterate... not sure if what im in is considered a relationship fdjkslfds)

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a new friend in the past year

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes!!! im so grateful

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? i honestly have no clue i say it all the time through messages but im like... emotionally stunted in real life lmao

3. do you regret anything? yea mostly just opportunities that i should’ve taken that i don’t because i don’t have the will to put in the effort ://

4. are you insecure? not usually!

5. what’s your relationship status? listen.... complicated....

6. how do you want to die? this is 2 morbid for me next please

7. what did you last eat? bugles!!! i love bugles

8. played any sports? i ran cross country in high school for 3 years and did track for one!!

9. do you bite your nails? nope

10. when was your last physical fight? ha h ah haha i don’t think i’ve ever been in a physical fight

11. do you like someone? yea!

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? yes... too many times

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? no, not really!

14. do you miss someone? yea i miss a few of my high school friends that i wish i got to see more often and i miss us all hanging out as a group

15. have any pets?
 my family has 4 cats!

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
 A+!

17. ever made out in the bathroom? damn i was ready to say no but.... i actually have.... im shocked at myself

18. are you scared of spiders?
 in certain situations?? who am i kidding lfjdkslfd yes

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? nah

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? ummmmmm my bed

21. what are your plans for this weekend? sleep and study :(

22. do you want to have kids? how many? idk?? i’m not very passionate about it tbh i’d be happy with anywhere between 0-3 kids

23. do you have piercings? how many? both my ears are double pierced!

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? i fuckin love math!! i would die for math also im pretty good at chemistry physics and computer science idk most things math/science related :)

25. do you miss anyone from your past?
 mostly just the same as before?? miss some of my hs friends

26. what are you craving right now?
 ..sleep

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
 i don’t think so??

28. have you ever been cheated on?
 nope!

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
 yea :(

30. what’s irritating you right now? too much to do too little time

31. does somebody love you? ..yes? i hope

32. what is your favourite color? pink!!!!!!!

33. do you have trust issues? not really trust issues but like i said before i think im like.. emotionally stunted or smth

34. who/what was your last dream about? i hoenstly can’t remember any recent dreams

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my ?boyfriend? lmao i cry all the time

36. do you give out second chances too easily? mmm idk? i’ve honestly never really thought about it

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forget ://

38. is this year the best year of your life?
 noooo

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? 18!

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? fdjskflds no

51. favourite food?
 yo this just jumped from 40 to 51 fjdklsfdjsk anyway um! chicken

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? lmao no that’s some wishful thinking :(

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
 i did most of my computer science lab :/

54. is cheating ever okay?
 no

55. are you mean? sometimes i can be really bad about impulsively saying things and... yea it can be mean :( but like in general? i don’t think im a mean person

56. how many people have you fist fought? i would cry if someone tried to fight me

57. do you believe in true love?
 yea!

58. favourite weather? gimme that sunshine, no humidity with a breeze

59. do you like the snow? yea!! but not excessively

60. do you wanna get married? yeah? but also it’s not like one of my overlying life goals ya know but if it happens that would be nice

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? honestly whenever i hear people say baby in real life i cringe fjdsklfds idk i mean i say it in the tags on here but in real life... nah and i call some of my friends babe but i do it jokingly it just seems weird to do that like.. romantically

62. what makes you happy? getting time to myself!!! to do the things i want to do and relax! to spend time with my friends just relaxing as well! in particular getting to paint and getting to play piano make me really happy and relaxed

63. would you change your name? nope!

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
 nope!

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? ummm did u mean... my current situation jfkdlsfs

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes mostly?? he definitely thinks im a lil weird when im like 100% myself but he still loves me anyway so :’)

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
 ^^^ said above best friend

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my high school best friend?? i think

69. do you believe in soulmates? not really it’s a nice idea though

70. is there anyone you would die for? probably a few of my closest friends

fdskfdlsfjdks hope none of u read all that!!! this deserves to be my about page tbh