#i babble on for way too long

[blackberrysummerblog]

hii <3

2, 21, 23, 29 and 78 for the ask game. sorry if they're too many ^^'

Thank you so much for the ask @imagineacoolerusername! I apologize for not responding sooner, because I’m really excited someone took me up on the ask game (and it’s never too many, I love thinking more about what/how I’m writing).

2) Where do you get your fic ideas?

I’m similar to a lot of people on this one—my ideas come from things that I see or hear around me. It goes hand in hand with the first question in the ask list, which is “do you daydream a lot before you write” and I am a *huge* daydreamer. I generally do get an idea of a full story realized quickly enough that I don’t spend a lot of time dreaming before I write (haha…she says after literal months of WIP posts from the same unpublished fic, lol). I daydream constantly about my hyperfixations though, and I just let my mind wander wherever it feels like. There are stories in my head I would never actually post because they’ve become OOC and self-indulgent to a comical degree, but I get pleasure out of thinking about them and so I let my thoughts drift there when they want to. I often get some good material that way for stories that I actually do want to share with people.

For my crucible marriage AU, the idea came from a throwaway line in Carry On about Watford having possibly started as a mages’ settlement: I started thinking about an AU where that was still the case, and there would still be the school but it would start for students at a younger age than in canon. Assuming the kids mostly went home in the evenings, the crucible wouldn’t need to assign roommates, and instead could do another job like…magickally determining one’s spouse. That was the thought process, and because I am *feral* for arranged marriage/married-at-first-sight stories, the fic has been living at the front, middle, and back of my brain ever since.

21) Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

I don’t have a strong preference; it just depends on what the story requires. I’ll know when I begin writing if a story is going to be long and plotty enough to require chapters; in this fandom I’ve done entirely one-shots because I’m leaning heavily on soft vibes without enough conflict to need more than one post to tell. The crucible marriage fic will definitely be chaptered, though

23) Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

It depends where it starts in my head, i.e. the part I’m trying to get to. If the idea starts off largely in middle of the story I want to tell, then I need to figure out a beginning that can segue into that. It’s usually not super hard, but then again, I mostly enjoy doing domestic-style fluff and cutesy flirting, so it’s not an enormous exercise to intro that. I’m having a harder time with the current AU’s beginning, especially since at this point I’ve dragged it all out so long that I want it to be just right. The hardest part for me is almost always the ending, by which I don’t mean how it all ends up, but the last sentence. I’m pretty weak with last lines, and the *absolute fucking worst* at titles. I think both feel like high-pressure, sum-your-precious-baby-up-in-very-few-words situations to me. I am flat out disgusted with myself for some of the titles I’ve gone with after throwing up my hands.

29) What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I like my dialogue. I think it flows pretty well and is often cute or funny. And I think I do a decent job with shoehorning my contrived plot points in. The example I’m thinking of is the field trip fic I wrote (I can’t even bring myself to namecheck the title, did I mention how bad I am at them?) where the entire story basically hinged on getting Simon to have to sit on Baz’s lap on the bus. It was easy enough to assign them as seatmates, and spilling something on the seat is a good reason for Simon to not be able to use it, but because it’s a magickal universe there really shouldn’t have been any reason they couldn’t spell the seat dry. Magic had to have been disallowed on the bus, which let me write a nice little bit about how Simon had gotten it banned on an earlier trip (and also to reflect on how few field trips he’s even been on, awwww). Anyway, I thought it was funny and just about killed myself when Baz quipped “here comes the not-so-magic-school bus” to humiliate Simon in front of the class. Pretty much everything that happened after that was just as contrived, and I thought it was hilarious.

78) What motivates you during the writing process?

It’s a compulsion for the flesh to become word. I write even the stories that I would never post because they’re too dirty or too personal or too badly conceived to share, because once they’re described in words it provides a kind of release for me.

There’s a short story by William H. Gass called “In the Heart of the Heart of the Country” and I really recommend it for achingly real and emotive lines, but the one I’m thinking of is this, said of the narrator’s neighbor: “Nevertheless, I keep wondering whether, given time, I might not someday find a figure in our language which would serve him faithfully, and furnish his poverty and loneliness richly out.”

I want that when I write, to find words that will mean something to myself and someone else, that will hold a moment or experience up in the light in such a way that it’s viewed tenderly and with generosity.

Thanks again for asking; I hope my answers weren’t too long winded! If anyone else wants to play you can reblog this post:

[anghraine]

I have quite a bit of sympathy for people with minor pet peeves that actually impact them in some way—you know, fandom hot takes that are trivial annoyances in the grand scheme of things but inescapable, or unpopular food preferences that aren't that important to them but a bit of a pain to access, or that kind of thing. It doesn't have to be a serious and profound objection to be understandable; grumbling about things other people consider trivially unimportant is like, my whole deal.

..........but.

I don't know if it's just getting older or what, but I'm increasingly puzzled by discourse about things that other people are doing away from you and which as far as I can tell, don't concern you in any way.

Like, the poll about people having insufficiently productive hobbies was annoying on a lot of levels, but it was also confusing, because I'm unsure why anyone would even care about other people making things or simply appreciating things with their leisure time. Like, I think the assumption that it's objectively healthier and perhaps even necessary for people to do arts and crafts is weird in itself, but why would anyone expect a bunch of strangers on the Internet to meet their personal standards of leisure productivity, or even care?

I feel kind of similarly about the whole "play a different game" thing people do wrt total strangers bending D&D 5e to suit their story rather than finding the optimal fit for their group's story via a different system. If their DM is pressured into it because the players refuse to learn another system (or 5e itself), that's one thing (though still really a problem for groups to navigate for themselves). But if it's just random strangers having fun with the system, the DM enjoys bending 5e to their will, and someone just happens to mention online that their group is fiddling around with it, why is it such an affront? How is some other group you don't know "playing D&D wrong" your business at all?

In a weird way, it kind of reminds me of how people who don't read fanfic go on rants about what's wrong with fanfic and how bad it is for people to read it (90% of the time their gripes are really just about genre romance tropes, let's be real, but they don't have the guts to go after romance the way they used to). Like, even if anti-fanfic stereotypes were true (and I'd argue that broadly they are not) and people are just being lazy readers, so what? Why do you feel the need to share your opinion about fanfic-reading degenerates you don't actually know and whose habits are none of your concern? Who made you god of hobbies?

I don't know, I do find these kind of pseudo-concerned, vaguely elitist pearl-clutching posts annoying, but mostly I find them puzzling.

[heythereimbodie]

reminder that you can be a very competent grown-up and still need a safe space

[enden-k]

yall, at this point idk anymore what to draw ngl

[txmxkis]

that was. transformative

[sciderman]

I did not know you wrote fics I’m truly living here

🫶

my fics are so delicious, you are SO lucky you get to experience them all for the very first time anon

[softdreamlesssleep]

God, "I missed you" sex is the best

[hostradio]

i've  mentioned  before,  but  al  is  severely  lacking  in  sympathy  towards  other  sinners  due  to  his  belief  that  they  have  all  earned  their  place  in  hell  and  any  misery  that  brings  them.  at  best  he's  completely  indifferent  to  their  suffering,  though  more  often  than  not  it's  merely  a  source  of  entertainment;  schadenfreude  to  the  cruelest  degree.  that  doesn't  mean  he's  completely  incapable  of  forming  bonds  with  others  —  though  he  is  (  admittedly  )  no  less  strange  about  the  sparse  handful  of  individuals  he  does  genuinely  grow  to  like.  he's  a  bit  possessive-adjacent,  in  a  sense.  not  possessive  outright,  because  he  doesn't  see  the  people  he  likes  as  something  that  belongs  to  him  (  and  we  know  there  are  people  he  DOES  see  in  such  a  light  )  nor  does  he  try  to  exert  his  will  over  their  own  —  which  is  perhaps  the  highest  show  of  respect  someone  as  obsessive  about  control  as  al  can  possibly  express.

he's  possessive  in  the  sense  that  he  sees  them  as  extensions  of  himself.  this  is  someone  he  likes,  which  in  al's  mind  more  or  less  grafts  their  existence  to  his  own.  harming  them  is  effectively  disrespecting  him  by  proxy;  it's  an  attack  on  his  ego.  if  that  sounds  incredibly  arrogant,  it  is  —  because  he  is,  but  the  end  result  gives  off  the  impression  that  he  has  a  protective  streak  when  his  feelings  are  actually  more  based  in  rage  and  indignation.  either  way,  he  is  still  mauling  someone.

[paleinc]

i'm screaming you can't just leave this in the tags WHAT HAPPENED...

#a past friend of mine shipped my favorite OC with a clone of his boyfriend that they created/controlled#and reallllly wanted him to leave bf for the clone#but that was over a decade ago. if you want this kind of OC drama find some rpers

So you know my first OCs were Abel and Mark.

This ex-friend had their own OCs that were clones of other characters from anime and video games (mostly FF). They made an Abel clone (named 'Bael') who had necromancy powers and hidden TwIsTeD cYcLePaTh tendencies behind a weirdly meek and self-destructive demeanor. He was also into petplay and light necrophilia.

They told me they wanted to roleplay a scenario where Bael kidnapped Mark and made him fall in love w him and get over Abel. Even if it meant emotional brainwashing to get Mark to leave Abel.

I told them that scenario made me uncomfortable and then they guilt-tripped by saying they were gonna hurt themselves bc they were suuuuch a bad friend.

And yeah, then they made a clone OC of me. And yes, their insert wanted to marry my clone since I was unavailable.

[mitamicah]

Post concert sickness has been especially rough today with a heavy, throbbing head (especially around the nose) and getting out of breath very easily. I am glad I managed to finish my hamburg sketch page but I think that will be all I have energy for today - fingers crossed that I woke up tomorrow feeling just a slight bit better so I can enjoy my 11 month hrt anniversary

[simlit]

Every odd numbers for Yehl and Taryn! Or you can reduce it to only questions you want to answer. 😁❤️‍🔥

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

Taryn // Taryn doesn't have a father. His mother was a god of creation, she gave birth to the twins of her own body, but their conception was of her own will. Yehl // Yehl has hated Aseris most his life, but worse, he always lived in fear of him. His father was incredibly toxic and abusive towards both Yehl and his mother, and Yehl has those memories burned into him like a violent dream. But despite how cruel his father was, he was the only parent Yehl had growing up. Losing his mother and having few good relationships in his life, especially familial relationships, when he was younger, drove him to pine for his father's attention and love. Being constantly demonized and told he was a failure, adult Yehl attempted to play into that role, but that, too, was simply a cry for attention. He never was able to earn his father's love, up until Aseris' death, and afterwards, that lack of closure and trauma still haunts him.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

Taryn // There was a time when Taryn and Elsera got along. When they were young, and before the war, they had no reason to resent each other. But they have always been opposites. Taryn's calm and Elsera's brash were fated to butt heads. Despite the respect Taryn had for her in somewhat successfully ruling on her own for hundreds of years was inevitably dashed by her juvenile actions following the end of Act I. The two of them never reconcile after the events of AoA. Yehl // Oof this is gonna be a lot but he has seven siblings so... Judine was Yehl's favorite sibling ever since he was a child, and he really did idolize him. He only comes to see Judine as, and understand him more on a human level, after the events of the novel, but regardless, they remain very close and supportive. Linaea was a shining light in Yehl's later life. He didn't know much of her until he was already of age, and by then a lot of damage had already been done at Thera's hands, which Yehl held against Lin for a long time. His love for her was often marred with some form of resentment. A fact he doesn't come to realize until after she's gone; that he never was able to love her fully the way she did him. It's one of his greatest regrets. Most of Yehl's siblings he has little to no relationship with. Lonis and Alloria were already adults when he was born, and made no effort to get to know him. He's probably spoken to them less in the course of his life than one might a casual neighbor. While Alloria has no opinion of Yehl, Lonis was dismissive at best. Lore, though closest in age to Yehl, was equally as checked out. This has a lot to do with the Metunor being one of the most widely disparaged clans. Lore's mother advised him not to interact with Yehl lest it reflect poorly on the Metunor's already waning public standing. The sibling Yehl has, perhaps, the most important relationship with, is Porphery, who doubled as Yehl's "godfather". They had an incredibly rocky relationship when Yehl was young, with Porphery being more or less an overbearing babysitter. Their opposing personalities didn't help. But after Yehl becomes Celaedian, Porphery is the most consistent relationship Yehl has. He starts to confide in Porphery a great deal, using him as a sounding board and neutral support system. Yehl takes Porphery's death hardest of all, and is inconsolable for years following, to such a point that even Zehel recalls that period in his childhood with crystal clarity.

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

Taryn // No. Yehl // Yes. Tbh, Yehl is sheltered most his life, and learning to become strong enough to stand up for himself, if not on his own, is one of his main journeys.

7. What was the economic status of their family?

Taryn // Dragons don't really deal in material wealth (I know, shocking, no hoards of treasure here). But ofc, power pays 😋 You can get a lot done when you're king of all dragons. Yehl // He grew up a prince, despite his father having expensive vices and a poor hold on the kingdom's finances. Regardless, Yehl has only ever really known opulence. He definitely got a status (and economic) boost after graduating from disgraced prince to the King's consort.

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Taryn // Honestly? Nothing. Taryn would have been fine living his life solitary. He was not seeking a relationship, never would have thought about it or desired one until he met Yehl. Yehl just defined that role to him. I don't believe Taryn could have the capacity to love anyone else. It's why he's King Simp, he is quite literally Yehlsexual. Everything Yehl is, is what Taryn loves, and he has no expectations of him, nor would he ever wish him to change in any way. And while he struggled A LOT with the emotional side of their relationship, he used the physical as a way of demonstrating his feelings. Sex is incredibly important to Taryn, because it's his natural way of being expressive. He has long since learned to speak more, to give Yehl actual words, because he knows that's what Yehl needs as a non-dragon, but for Taryn, the physical parts of their relationship are absolutely crucial. Yehl // Once again, being exact opposites. Yehl always found sex to be the least meaningful form of expression. He never actually connected it to the ideas of love or romance until after being with Taryn. For him, it was mostly a meaningless act done for fun, and that perspective only started to shift once he'd already developed feelings for Taryn. Yehl does expect more of Taryn. He's had such little love shown to him in life, and still struggles to differentiate honest and true love from falsity that he really needs it spelled out for him. But he adjusts to Taryn's habits and mannerisms. He still expects shows of affection, even if it's as small as Taryn coming to wake him in the morning, or Taryn's overprotective/possessive nature. He adapts, but also expects that Taryn will be forthcoming about his feelings and intentions.

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role?

Taryn // He takes his role as a father incredibly seriously. More seriously than he takes his role as king, honestly. Though he's not the affectionate sort of parent, he was still incredibly involved in Zehel's life as a guiding hand. He wanted to prepare Zehel for a life of complexity, but to ensure that he also kept an open mind. It was important to him that Zehel grew up restrained, humble, and well-educated. He put a great deal of emphasis on Zehel's studies, especially of history. Yehl // On the flipside, ofc, Yehl directly seeks to undo a lot of Taryn's teaching by instilling a proper sense of arrogance and entitlement into his son as he damn well should. Not that any of this really stuck, but he did his best. Similarly to Taryn, Yehl sees his role as a mother as the most important thing in his life. A lot of Yehl's past and life choices called back to his own relationship to his mother, so being that force for good in Zehel's life is crucial to him. He is an incredibly affectionate parent, being the opposite side of Taryn's coin in all ways. He's very open with his love for Zehel, becoming the clingy, sappy SMother we all know he is.

[dualitysdownfall]

are any of my homestuck mutuals good at story structure, plot ideas etc

[twistedappletree]

i’ve been at the emergency vet for 3hrs and it’s a 1hr drive here and back and it’s 5am now and i’m so fucking tired omfg there’s no way i’m gonna be able to sleep for work today 😭

[anghraine]

The fuller Darcy next-gen headcanon, while I'm at it:

Elizabeth Jane (Lizzy) Darcy. She's quiet, withdrawn, dutiful, and intense. Strong eldest daughter vibes. She's very handsome and expected (not by her parents so much as their wider social circle) to be charming and witty to go with it, like her mother, and is neither; she low-grade resents her while also idolizing her. Gets on well with her father and most of her aunts, but rarely confides in anyone.

Edward Darcy (named for Mr Gardiner and Lord —). He's sensible, down-to-earth, loyal, earnest, and easy-going. Very much wants to live up to his strong sense of responsibility as The Heir. Most people like him well enough without having a strong impression of his feelings or personality. Gets along well with both parents, but is slightly intimidated by his father's sterling reputation and force of presence.

Christopher Darcy (Kit, named after Darcy's father in my headcanons). He's high-spirited, clever, friendly, and very content in his own skin, more so than any of his siblings. Like Edward, he's easy-going and practical, but more energetic. He can be a bit careless and outspoken, even impertinent, while also able to pull on a touch of hauteur when annoyed. His spirits and confidence can make him exasperating at times, but also endearing to pretty much everyone around him, including both parents.

Georgiana Darcy. She has quite a bit in common with her brother Kit; she's not quite as comfortable with herself, but she's at least as fearless and impulsive (Voted Child Most Likely To Give Her Caretakers Headaches). She's quick-witted and can get carried away with her own ideas, but is also gregarious and kind, and readily befriended the family's shy charity case, her cousin Fanny Price Bella Wickham.

Honorable mention next-gen characters: Bess Wickham, the most driven, intelligent, and calculating of the Wickham children; George Wickham, her closest sibling, less ambitious but more careless; Martha Bingley, a bubbly, inquisitive, matchmaking middle Bingley child; and Sarah Gardiner, born a few months after P&P ends, thoughtful, pragmatic, and courteous.

[sonicenvy]

worst thing about legal weed in my state is that it smells like weed every-fucking-where here now. Like, tbh I don't really care what other people do, and if weed is your thing, go you! Have fun, get high! I just would rather not have to smell super skunky-ass fucking smelling weed when I'm on the train, at the park, or on the bus. Presumably there is somewhere the fuck else that you can go to smoke that is not on public transportation or in parks where there are CHILDREN, why do you not do that instead?????

Cigarette smokers have also similarly lost their damn minds since 2020. The cigs actually make me angrier bcs second hand cig smoke is practically as bad as smoking yourself when you're breathing in that shit. have these fools no consideration for:

literal fucking children who should not be exposed to that shit

everyone who is trying to quit that might be triggered by it

everyone who doesn't want to breath in smoke

literally anyone who isn't themselves

?????

god forbid y'all have to wait an extra twenty fucking minutes to light up somewhere else.

ok. rant over.

[cjgladback]

[ID: Four photos of two sock-clad feet standing on an aged wooden deck in direct sunlight. The socks are knit from medium grey yarn in an intricate but mostly-solid lace pattern with alternating diamond grids of wrapped ribs and curves of increased and decreased stitches. They're approximately crew-length with a small area at the toes and the heel in stockinette stitch and only a few rows of *k1 twisted, p2* rib at the top extending the final row of the lace pattern. End ID]

Yesterday was my first time wearing this pair of socks I started in April-May last year! They were my first project back after not yarning for about five years--then I drafted my first sewing project mid-2022 (a pocket I finished this October), wove in the ends of a pair of fingerless gloves I'd been using con spaghetti, and cleaned out my old LYS tote with this yarn, a matching gauge acrylic, and my circular needle. And though I've definitely made a pair of socks before (accidental torture devices for their giftee with the sensory specifics of illusion knit soft cotton and wiry wool) I had completely forgotten and got to research all the techniques again. (If you know me, you know that's a sincere "got to." 😄) In April, I frogged half the foot of a first run with a bulkier cable and honeycomb texture combo that I hadn't planned with sufficient negative ease. And in the meantime ended up browsing the crafts shelf at my library; I checked out the two stitch bibles they had for daydreaming at home. Pattern 88 from "250 Japanese Knitting Stitches: The Original Pattern Bible by Hitomi Shida" (there's a slightly newer, prettier cover with 10 more stitches too but I haven't seen it in person to recommend) was both one of my favorites and relatively narrow at a repeat of 18 stitches. So! I swatched it and measured the swatch gently stretched this time; three repeats around was just about perfect, and I ended up doing one 56-row pattern repeat each above and below the heel turn. I had plans for increasing into the calf without breaking the pattern but was nervous about running out of yarn (the last of a mystery wool cone gifted from my psych professor's stash). If I could do it over, I'd probably knit the pair from the inside and outside of the ball simultaneously so I could have slightly taller socks with a wider ribbing cuff, but as is they're staying up way better than I expected. Guess that's the shape-keeping joy of wool!