#i at least know that itll be fun to like. prepare for this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

words-for-holland · 4 years ago

Text

Distractions

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom and Y/N decide to work in the same room together. The problem...both of them get easily distracted and a whole lotta fluff comes with it.

A/N: Whoa its been awhile but here we are again! Thank you for 1,000+ followers it means the world! Surprises to come 😉

“Hello beautiful.” Tom greets Y/N with a cheeky smile on his face. He quickly pecks her soft cheek as he places his laptop across from his lovely girlfriend, who was currently focused on her work.

She takes a second to look up, returning his smile with a soft one. “Hey, good looking. What’s up?”

“Nothing really. Is it okay if I work here with you? I just want to be close to my girl.”Tom pouts.

Y/N’s heart could burst at the sight and reason he gave. An inaudible “aw” prolonging through her mind...until she quickly realized that there could be some complications with this as a slight frown starts to replace her dimpled smile. “Wait...are you sure?”, she asks. “Dont you have press interviews that require absolute silence? I doubt any of you will want to hear the constant typing in the background.”

“Yeah, your typing is horrendous with those lead heavy fingertips of yours.” Tom teases.

“Well these lead heavy fingertips aren’t leaving anytime soon, so youre probably better off working elsewhere.” She suggests, pointing off to the distance. Tom groans at the idea, using his one hand to put her finger down. He engulfs hers with his, lacing her fingers and holding on tightly.

“Noooo. Dont wanna be anywhere else. Please darling? ” He pouts once more.

She giggles at his plea, rolling her eyes. “Course you can, bubz.” Tom excitedly scoots his chair in as he rubs his hands together to prep for the work to come.

And work they did...for at least 10 minutes. Tom was getting antsy as he read through his next script. Occasionally his eyes would roll to the left, and observe Y/N as she continued to read through an article on her screen. Not that Tom didnt find his own work fun but he always found watching Y/N do her thing just a bit more interesting.

He hadn’t realized himself, but his body start to shift and lean more towards her. His arm extending to wrap her in, as it glided up and down in a steady motion. His thumb doodling hearts on her shoulder. Tom could tell it had an effect on Y/N, discreetly smirking to himself as he heard her audible shakey sigh.

He wanted to see what else could make her sigh like that, so instead of his thumb he used pointer and middle finger, running them up and down her shoulder. Tom could see the smile creeping on Y/N’s face and her little head shake. She knew what he was up to and yet, Y/N still wanted him to think that he was not gonna get her that easily. But God was it hard. Every touch felt like tiny fireworks against her skin, goosebumps forming all over her body with every touch. She to stay strong. No distractions.

Tom eyes perked up, at the action. He must go further, he thinks. Tom starts to trace his nose from her shoulder to her neck, leaving kisses at her jawline. “C’mon darling. Think its time for a break.”, he whispers in her ear.

She turns her head towards him as she smiles, leaving a quick kiss on Tom’s lips. “Its only been ten minutes.” She laughs. “Five if you want to count the distractions.”

He backs up, pretending to look appalled. “How dare you. I’ve been a good lad focusing on my script for the whole ten minutes.”

A playful glare formed on Y/N’s soft face which ultimately ended her up with a fit of giggles. She couldnt take him seriously, but then again she never did with anything. Tom has always said if they were kidnapped by a pair of robbers, her first reaction would be to laugh. As the laughter died down, Y/N paid her attention back to the screen which had been inactive during the playful banter and continued to type out those set of documents that she had been meaning to get to.

Tom on the other hand was still reading through his script, taking mental notes on how he was going to approach his character. This time he was completely engrossed in his work. His eyes moving left to right with every line he took in. Until...he felt something ticking his lower calves. Tom knew it was Y/N’s foot, by the way it brushed just as he had done with his hand on her shoulder. The movements never stopped, her legs now curling around his own. Y/N was trying to getting back at him, but one thing she always forgot was that Tom always wins.

Naturally he had to the same, and what once became a playful game of footsie, now ended up with Tom shifting Y/N to sit on his lap. Her legs now wrapped around his waist and his hands holding onto her hips. Both of them connecting their soft lips, feeling every spark and essence of love. He looked up at Y/N with admiration, thinking how lucky he is to have her in his life. Yeah Covid sucked for the most part and limited their ability to even do anything exciting outside, but it gave them the opportunity to be with each other far more than they could have on a normal day. On a normal day, Tom would be jumping around country to country while Y/N would be home miles and miles away from him. Course, nothings changed with jumping from country to country, but Tom gets to bring Y/N with him now and thats all that mattered to them.

But work never stopped them from keeping busy. Just as their kisses were getting more heated, and their hands tangling each others hair both their alarms went off. The couple stopped their antics as they leaned their heads back, groaning in synchronization.

“Ughh. Thats my cue. I have to prep for an interview.” He mumbles as he nuzzles into Y/N’s neck.

“I know. I have to get ready for another business meeting. Whoo.” she speaks in a sarcastic manner, dropping her head.

“What time?” He asked pressing a kiss to the shell of her ear.

“Mm...3. Why?”

Tom plays with the strands of her soft hair. “Was wondering if you’ll stay with me through mine and Ill stay with you through yours.”

“As much fun as that would be. I dont think were allowed to —“

“Im not saying we have to be on camera for each others meeting. But if one of us will be off camera itll be all right.” He plans, still looking at his girl with pleading eyes. Y/N’s mouth twitches to the left, her eyes furrowed with suspicion.

“You’re doing it again.” Tom states, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

“Doing what?”

“You’re making that face again.”

Her expression quickly changes to confusion, not entirely sure of what Tom was noticing that she didnt about her own face. “What face?”, she asks.

“The one where you twitch your lips and make your eyes look angry. You only do it when youre indecisive about something. Its bloody adorable.”

Y/N snorts at his comment, and tries to get off to give him time to prepare, only to be stopped by his hands pushing her back down on his lap.

“I was serious about wanting to stay with my girl the whole day while doing work. Please?” He pleads again, this time bringing out the puppy face. “I’ll be good and do the dishes tonight.”

To be fair, Y/N knew she was always gonna say yes to Tom. Its pretty hard to deny her dorky boyfriend when hes asking so sweetly and just wants to spend the day together. More so, if the roles were switched, she would have done the same thing. “Go get changed movie star, before youre late for your interview.” She murmurs to him, kissing his cheek before she scrambles of his lap to sit across from him.

Tom whoops with victory as he runs out the room quickly changing into his shirt, fixing his hair, and adding glasses for that sophisticated touch. Sure he wanted to look his best for the Cherry Press, but he made sure his outfit was something Y/N would very much adore as well.

“How do I look?” Tom asked coming out of their shared bedroom.

Y/N looks up from her computer, and smiles widely. “Handsome as always.” She couldnt take her eyes off of him, admiring every detail of the clothing and how it perfectly complimented Tom’s feature. She eyed him from top to bottom, until she noticed something. “Uhh..honey....you’re not wearing any pants.” She asked a bit confused. Her eyes engrossed in the muscles of his thighs and the fit of his Calvin Klein boxers.

Tom smirks at her. “Its uncomfortable wearing pants. Besides no one will see...except you.” He teases, gently lifting her head up so that her eyes meets his. “Eyes up here love.”

“Youre something else.” She laughs, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. “Well...least we know who wears the pants in the relationship.”

Tom laughs loudly at her comment. He hooks the waistband of Y/N’s sweatpants and snaps them back to further prove her point. “That was a good one. Ill give you that.” Tom and Y/N high five each other, and then it was press time.

Y/N kept quiet and tried her best to minimize the typing unless it was really needed. Seeing Tom talk about his work and dedication was something that she had always admired about him. He loved his job and everyone can see that. Occasionally they’d steal glances from each other, smiling and holding each others hand under table so that no one could see. But it was just one of those moments that Tom and Y/N couldnt help themselves too. Two hours passed and Tom was free.

“You did so well.” Y/N praised Tom and awarded him with a quick kiss. “I love it when you talk about your passion.”

“Thanks. I love that you were there with me to sit through it all.” He smiles. “I believe its your turn now. It’s almost 3.”

Y/N frowns, knowing shed have to dread through hers. Instead of getting to talk about her passions, itd all be about business, business, business. “Ugh. Do I have to?”she groans.

“Come on now. Dont be like that, you’re gonna be fine. Ill be here with you the whole time.” Tom reassures her with kisses all over her face.

“No distractions?” She asks.

“No distractions.”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

840 notes · View notes

sinslasherfics · 4 years ago

Note

Could you write how the killers would react to their s/o learning to play electric guitar? But theres a twist, they use headphones instead of playing it loud through the amp so only they can hear it. ( and yes you can play that way, you just have to plug your headphones into the amp) Literally no one has actually heard them play, not even their killer boyfriend. S/o is just to embarrassed that itll sound bad or that theyll make even the slightest mistake.

hello love!! sorry for getting to this so late, i only just saw it in my ask box. i haven’t been getting notifs from tumblr for some reason :/ also did my fav slasher boys atm since you didn’t request anyone in specific, hope that’s okay 🤍i hope you enjoy!

SLASHERS REACTION TO S/O WHO PLAYS ELECTRIC GUITAR, BUT IS INSECURE OF THEIR SKILL

POLY! GHOSTFACE (BILLY LOOMIS & STU MACHER)

at first, they didn’t even know you owned any kind of instrument

they just so happened to find the electric guitar in the corner of your room when you invited them over

they’re both in awe

“babe! you didn’t tell us you played!”

“can you play for us?!”

you kinda have to explain to them that you’re only just learning to play

they’ll still insist you play for them, they wanna hear your progress

you tell them no, but it’s only because you think you don’t play too well

they’ll understand, and stop bugging you about it

or at least that’s what you think

they ALWAYS try to catch you and hear you playing

they’ll pretend their leaving and then stick around, hiding behind a wall or something

they’re excited when they see you pick up the guitar, then quickly hide themselves again

but after a few minutes they hear no noise, no playing

it’s when the realize you have headphones plugged into the amp

stu’s for sure gonna pout about it, and give away their position where they were hiding.

then you have to explain to them that you’re scared of making a mistake, that you’d rather have your headphones plugged in because if you slipped in the slightest you’d be embarrassed

billy will insist that they don’t care how you play, and they would never make fun of you or anything

he really wants to hear you play </3

you make them a deal, though

“i’ll let you watch me play and maybe we can progress from that into hearing me play.”

both nod eagerly

be careful with stu, though

the dork will try several times to unplug the headphones from the amp while you’re caught up in playing

sometimes billy will stop him, sometimes he won’t

so always be alert!

if you do eventually let them hear you play, they’ll cheer you on big time

“NO ONE PLAYS THE ELECTRIC GUITAR LIKE MY S/O DOES!”

they think you’re so cool

teach them how to play!! they’ll be the happiest boys alive!!

MICHAEL MYERS

he’ll act like he doesn’t care at all

but in reality it does spike his interest

he’s curious, wants to know more

will never admit that

but you’ll catch him staring at the guitar on more than one occasions

he stares at you as whenever you pick up the guitar to do anything with it

it’s impressive to him, actually

but gets confused when you plug headphones into the amp

it was made for blasting the music made from your guitar, no?

will most definitely unplug it

don’t tell him not to, it won’t help

michael does what he wants

doesnt take orders from anyone but himself!

plugs the headphones back in

he’s not a complete asshole

at least not when it comes to you

you better be okay with him staring at you as you play, though

that’s exactly what he’s doing

eventually finds out you do it because you’re scared of messing up even slightly

probably doesn’t give a flying fuck

he wants to hear you play and if you mess up well so be it

it is intimidating, though.

i mean, he’s got a blank expression on the whole time he watches you

you can’t really tell if he likes it or not

he does

at first you might not think he does, he acts like he doesn’t care

you’ll know he does when he picks up the guitar and hands it to you out of the blue

will do this more often than you think

but hey, it’s good practice for you

JASON VOORHEES

he thinks your so cool!!!

will sit and watch you practice and play around with chords

he’s curious, might even want to learn himself

eventually settles on just watching you though

he’s a little busy with handling people who trespass to have any free time to learn

admires you while you practice

every time he sees you pick up the guitar he stops and watches

questions the headphones plugged into the amp

you explain to him how you plug them in so that only you can hear your playing, since you aren’t confident in your skills

he’s understand, and nods along

though he doesn’t know why you wouldn’t be confident

he thinks you’re good at everything

sweet sweet boy

wants to hear you play so!! bad!!

but will not force you to let him hear

will silently clap after you’re done playing even if he couldn’t hear it

I COULD CRY HES SO SWEET

will gradually try and gain enough trust from you so that you’d let him hear you play comfortably

he can’t talk, but he assures you in every way that he can that he’s 101% sure that you are the best at playing electric guitar

if you do let him hear you play eventually

he’ll be over the moon

loves to hear you play

it’s so exciting and good to him

honestly wouldn’t even notice if you mess up

he’s way too lost in the music you’re making at the moment

so don’t ever worry about him not enjoying it

he’ll always enjoy it

might even gain up the courage to try it himself

only if you teach him of course.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

bratty boy

if he’s interested, no one can talk him out of his curiosity and he’s gonna wanna hear you play

better to keep this guitar hidden from him if you don’t wanna play in front of him

but that’s almost impossible

he’ll find it eventually

if not on purpose, then accidentally

and he’ll question you about it

of course you kinda have to admit that you’re learning

and he will ask to hear it

his eyes are pleading, but you don’t give in

tantrum time

he’ll throw a fit for a good hour

stops sooner or later

he comes back to apologize

this doesn’t mean he still won’t try to hear you play

much like stu, he’ll attempt to unplug the headphones while you’re playing

pouts when you immediately stop playing

will even go as far as hiding your headphones from you

“your headphones? gone? goodness, where could they have gone? oh, well! guess you’ve gotta play without them!”

you give him a glare and he huffs, going to rest retreat the stolen headphones from the walls

you could try to explain why you use them, but he’s like a toddler

what he wants, he wants.

“if i’m good and don’t throw any tantrums will you let me listen?”

take up this offer!

if you do, he’ll be ecstatic

he thinks it’s so amazing that you can play

it’s not like any classical instrument that he’s always heard

it’s new and refreshing and he loves it

be prepared to play for him most of time

he’ll even insist you play him a lullaby at bedtime

sure, why not, brahms

#slasher x reader #slashers #slashers fandom #friday the thirteenth #ghostface #ghostface x reader #jason voorhees #jason vorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #halloween #brahms heelsire x reader #the boy #x reader #poly ghostface #rz michael myers

238 notes · View notes

unnamed-atlas · 3 years ago

Note

post the explanation itll be funny -🌱

Okay so this is probably going to be really long but like essentially what is happening in the dreams (there's been a series of them) is mojang creates this new version of minecraft that's basically like a simulation of Minecraft but in real life. Kinda like VR except like, you are actually in there. They sponsor what is essentially the next season of hermitcraft to take place in this simulation except like also mojang is inviting other people. I do not know what the criteria for this is or who all they invite but I know I'm there for some reason 👁👄👁 on the day of the series launch I obviously have no idea what I am doing and get invited to go along with Wels and Beef, which I agree to. This is somehow the worst decision I have ever made in a dream despite it seeming perfectly reasonable.

You see, it turns out Wels was a part of the early test players for an early version of this simulation, which was, at the time, compatible with normal servers, meaning that his season seven, unbeknownst to his audience, was filmed in this simulation. And at some point during this testing, he fucked up majorly by way of actually cloning himself for what was supposed to be a bit with Beef's cloning machine. No one quite knows what Hels is but he behaves like some sort of sentient AI, one that is not particularly happy to have been brought into existence at that. Obviously this would be bad pr for Mojang, Wels, and maybe hermitcraft as a whole, considering the questionable at best ethics of the whole thing, and so Wels, Mojang, and X basically come to an agreement to keep the whole thing quiet, play it off as some lore Wels made for his series. This is overall a good move for their publicity, considering the fan base loves Hels and they managed to stay out of trouble, but it is certainly not a move Hels is a fan of, and he is further not a fan of the fact that at the end of season seven he is abandoned in the season seven server 💀

So uh, to say the least, he fucks around and finds his way into the new server, pissed, and with an unknown amount of access to Mojang's servers. This is bad news, obviously, and it is worse news that no one knows he did that. He is in there undetected and quickly going to follow after Wels. At which point he realizes a) there are new people around b) I am one of them and I am just an entire teenager and c) I am following Wels around. So, uh, he decides okay time to start causing problems on purpose.

We go into a cave. Hels follows. We split off into seperate caverns at some point and this is an overall bad decision for me considering I quickly find myself in a dead end cave with mr evil ai clone helsknight, who is considerably scarier when he looks like a real person rather than a little pixel minecraft man. I do not remember what he said but I know he decided to be an intimidating asshole and then disappear back into the cave. So I'm like 👁👄👁' and Wels walks in a second later like hey did you run into someone I thought I heard voices and I lie bc like WTF and I make up an excuse to leave the cave and instantly get as far away as possible from that fucking cave.

Fun fact about this series though, the whole thing is being live streamed, basically 24/7, like you can turn your camera off whenever you want cause like. Privacy. Obviously. but essentially you're streaming almost the entire time you're in there. Fancy cameras and shit. And like you still have access to twt and shit while you're in the simulation cause like why not gotta interact with the fan base and all. So obviously Wels fans are like 👁👁 Hels Content. Lore 👁👁. They're loving it. So obviously Wels starts to notice the sudden influx of Hels fanart with the new kid who disappeared halfway through the first day and eventually he sees the fucking clip and is like Oh Shit. That's really fucking bad and it gets worse when I have to start answering questions about that interaction and I'm like yeah, no, that was not planned in advance. My permission was never asked to be a part of that interaction 👁👄👁. So now there are some questions and Wels and X and Mojang are all like how the fuck do we make sure this doesn't become a problem. And essentially things just get worse from there <3

I talk to Wels thinking that that was some kind of prank after the fandoms reaction and he was like fully prepared to have to come clean about Hels being real so as soon as I say that he's like Yep! Definitely A Prank. Sorry about that! Will not do it again! But obviously that does not stop Hels from continuing to be an asshole. There are some arguments. Wels comes clean thinking everyone's cameras are off. They are not. The fandom is split between people who are like so hyped for this meta helsnknight lore and people who are like uh I'm not sure if this is lore anymore guys 👁👄👁. I try to leave the server. Hels locks everyone in the fucking server. Hels cuts off communication between the people in the server and the outside world other than the streams. Mojang is trying to play it off as role-play shit on twt while they desperately try to figure out WTF is happening and how to fix it. The fandom is growing increasingly concerned and there's discourse about if making fan content of what's happening in the server is ethical considering the ambiguity of the realism of the situation. Hels is trying to egg me into helping him destroy the server with everyone in it bc we're both mad at Wels and he's gonna fuck shit up either way so I might as well help him and get out at the end instead of going down with the ship. I am not yet convinced but I am getting fucking tired of all this shit <3

And yeah that's about where it's at. Uh. I probably would not do any serious writing or anything based off these dreams since the concept kind of blurs the line between CCs and their roleplay characters and also uh I feel like mojang might not appreciate the slander there but like it's been a fun series of dreams and I also just enjoy the concept of Hels going from being like a silly asshole to a serious threat and the kinda metaness of it all so-

#long post #i swear to god if this ends up in any tags 💀#this is much longer than i thought it would be #anyways yeah i probably will never make anything serious with this concept but mayhaps i will draw more stuff for it cause its fun <3

1 note · View note

eryiss · 5 years ago

Text

Event: LGBTQA+ Month hosted by @ft-wwtdp

Ship: Fraxus (Freed Justine x Laxus Dreyar)

Prompts: Questions, Acceptance, Loss, Growth, Beginnings

Verse: Modern AU

Alternate Places To Read: Fanfiction, Archive of our Own. Event master list here.

Here’s the third group of one shots for the LGBTQA+ event. This has allusions to anxiety and depression in the Growth prompt, but nothing that emotive. Hope you enjoy it.

Day Eleven – Questions (And an Answer)

"Why can't you just tell me?"

Mirajane was leaning forward, her milkshake pushed to the side as she glared at Freed across the table. She had an expression of determination on her features that would have made any normal man immediately want to crumble and give her whatever she wanted. Freed was not a normal man and looked back at her without care.

When she had invited him to their local diner to catch up, he should have guessed that it wasn't a polite invitation between friends. He hadn't established a link between her sudden and unexpected wish to see him in person and what he had done earlier in the day.

To think, changing his relationship status on Facebook would end up with him being interrogated.

"Why can't you just tell me his name? I probably don't even know him, so it wouldn't even matter."

"You'd look him up the second I was looking away," Freed replied, absently twisting the straw of his drink. "My relationship is private, I'm not even sure why I updated my profile. So, you can ask as many times as you'd like, I won't tell you about him."

"What if I make you a deal. You tell me his name and show me a picture, and I promise that I won't even think about looking him up," Mirajane bargained.

"No," Freed said, looking down at the empty basked of fries they were sharing.

Mirajane leant back, clearly thinking over a new way that she could extract the information that she so desperately wanted. Freed would wonder why she was so curious, but there was no point in it. Mirajane, though a delightful and caring person, would often involve herself in her friend's relationships to a point where it might have been invasive. She was harmless with it – assumedly she just wanted to share in the happiness of a new relationship – but it did get somewhat annoying when you were a victim to it.

Freed and Laxus weren't keeping their relationship a secret from their friends, exactly. Laxus wanted to tell his grandfather first; both that he was dating Freed, and that he wasn't as straight as he had previously thought. Makarov should know first.

That was what he was doing now, actually. Freed hoped it was going well.

"Wait," Mirajane said, slightly wistfully. "Is it someone we know? Do I know them?"

"No," Freed lied. "I'm still a little hungry. Could you get me some gravy fries?"

If he was going to be tortured with questions, he might as well get a meal out of it.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me," Mirajane suddenly whimpered, ignoring Freed's request. Freed smirked at the quiver in her voice. "I understand that you want to keep it private. Its clear our friendship isn't as important as I had thought it was."

Then she started crying. Freed almost laughed.

"You're grossly underestimating how comfortable I am with everyone here thinking I've made you cry," Freed leant back, allowing Mirajane to continue. The tears stopped and were replaced with a glare.

"Fine," Mirajane sighed, standing up. "I'll get it out of you eventually."

"You won't."

Freed watched as Mirajane walked to the counter, most likely to get him the fries he wanted; the first step in negotiation was getting the person their choice of food, Freed supposed. Once she was talking to the sever, he pulled out his phone and looked at the notifications he'd gotten. He had texted Laxus that Mirajane had been railing him for more information, hoping to give the blonde something to laugh at to calm his nerves.

From Laxus (17:56): Good luck with her. She don't conform to the Geneva Convention.

From Laxus (18:10):

Just told him, he's crying.

From Laxus (18:11):

He's happy. Hugged me, said I should invite you to eat at his place. don't know how long itll be until I can leave, so see ya later.

With a smile, Freed sent a quick text saying that he should take his time with his grandfather, and that it was good that he was supportive of him. He also included a thanks for the advice on dealing with Mirajane.

He returned his phone back into his pocket just as Mirajane came back to the table with a basket of gravy fries and another milkshake. She seemed to have noticed that he had texted someone and paused just before she put the food on the table. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she got an understanding of what happened.

"You were texting him, weren't you?" She asked.

"I was," Freed smiled and nodded. "Imagine if you were here when I was. You could have taken my phone and seen his name and his picture. You could even see how we talk to each other," He taunted. "And you missed it by only a few seconds."

"I should pour this over your head," Mirajane mumbled as she sat down.

"But you won't. Because you know if you did that I'd keep my boyfriend hidden for the rest of our lives to spite you," Freed smiled.

"Well, if we're allowed to be spiteful, then I think that comment justifies another load of questions," Mirajane smiled, and it would have scared a lesser man. Freed ate a gravy covered fry, leant back in his chair and prepared himself.

He couldn't be sure exactly how long Mirajane continued her onslaught of questions, but he managed to stay strong throughout the experience. He refuted almost every question; and those he didn't he had told her incorrect answers to annoy her. She picked up on that fairly quickly, apparently it wasn't likely that Freed would be dating an elderly circus performer that he met in a woodworking convention hosted by decapitated corpse of an Egyptian Queen.

She kicked him under the table for the latter lie.

The evening had gotten darker now, and Freed had yet to feel his phone buzz in reply from Laxus. He had decided that he'd wait until he returned to leave; as annoying as the situation may be, Mirajane was good company. And he was getting used to the endless speaking from Mirajane. Which was why it was so obvious when she stopped.

"Isn't that…" Mirajane trailed off, frowning as she looked past Freed to the door.

He looked over his shoulder to see that Laxus had walked in, brushing snow off his shoulders. Freed frowned, Laxus hadn't texted him saying that he would be coming to the diner when he was done. He focused on that, looking towards Laxus as the blonde approached them with a gentle smile. It was good to see him smiling; the talk with Makarov had gone as well as the texts showed, then.

"She demon," Laxus said, nodding his head towards Mirajane in greeting. "Freed."

He leant down, cupped Freed's chin with both hands and brought their lips together. It was a slow kiss, short lived but passionate. Freed closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation greatly. Laxus pulled away with a grin.

"I'm gonna get some coffee, one second," Laxus smirked.

When Freed looked back at Mirajane, she was beaming.

~~~

Day Twelve – Acceptance (Of The Next Step)

The thought hit him suddenly, and knocked him off kilter.

Laxus was sitting in the apartment he shared with Freed, which he had only just moved into. He was alone, watching the TV absent minded as he waited for Freed to return from the take-out place with their dinner. He had been smiling, thinking back over his relationship with the man. His mind settled on his first kiss with his boyfriend, the electricity he felt and the burning passion that had been shared between them. It had been fantastic.

And then he realised that he would probably never have a first kiss again. It left him feeling a little bit weird.

He loved Freed, there was no doubt in his mind about that. When he thought about his future he envisioned Freed by his side, perhaps as his husband one day. He wasn't going to leave Freed, nor was he going to spiral or doubt his feelings for the man. This was the best relationship he had ever had, and he relished every second of it.

But once he realised he'd perhaps never kiss someone again, more realisations hit him. He'd never experience a first date with someone, never be struck by the feeling of love for the first time, never take someone to bed for the first time.

It made him feel a little… he didn't know.

He had never been anything near a player, but he had enjoyed dating. Being an attractive young man, he got peoples attentions often and it had been fun. Kissing someone, falling for someone, enjoying the throws of new passion. It had all been a light, fun experience. Then, with the few people he had gotten serious with, he'd gotten to know them. Gotten to love them, and that had been equally fun.

The fact that it might not happen again was a little odd. Like losing something that was always there.

What made it worse was how he didn't know what he felt. He truly did love Freed, wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He wasn't going to cheat on the man, nor was he going to do anything else in relation to his feeling of loss. He was happy, deliriously so, with his relationship. But still, that feeling of missing something was there.

This had been the farthest he'd gotten in a relationship. Maybe he had commitment issues.

Should he talk to Freed about this? Would that help or make things worse?

Questions as to what he should do plagued his mind as he waited for Freed to return, and he tried to distract himself by focusing on the action movie he had put on in the background. It worked as a small distraction, and allowed him to push the small feeling of nervousness to the back of his mind. At least for a short while.

When Freed returned with their food, it only made Laxus feel more conflicted. Because the rush of feelings he felt when he saw Freed was still there, reaffirming how damn much he loved him. He adored this man, everything about him, and loved being with him.

So why did he feel like he was missing out on something?

Freed didn't notice his odd behaviour, instead walking to their kitchen counter and removing the food from the plastic bag. Laxus had gotten himself a burger with fries, whereas Freed had gotten a curry. It was why he'd taken so long, having gone to multiple take-out places. Laxus walked towards him, stomach growling.

"Sorry it took so long," Freed apologised. "There was a woman complaining at the Indian place in front of me. Quite obnoxious too."

"Don't worry," Laxus shrugged. He looked down as Freed unwrapped his food. One smell in particular got his attention. Garlic cheese and chili naan bread. "Fuck, thought they took that off the menu."

"Apparently it's back," Freed said, pulling out Laxus' burger. "D'you want some?"

"Er, yeah," Laxus nodded, watching as Freed ripped the bread in half. An amused smile formed on his face. "Thought you didn't share food. Thought if you order something, that's all you eat."

"I do say that," Freed nodded. "But that's mainly so Bickslow doesn't eat half of my food when we eat out," He chuckled. "Consider me sharing my food as a perk now you live with me."

It was a joke, said in a teasing tone, but it made Laxus feel so warm.

Every bit of lingering doubt that he had felt about not experiencing a new first in a relationship seemed to fizzle away. It was for the stupidest reason as well, but it somehow seemed to make sense. This was the first time that they would share take-out in their own shared home. And, as ridiculous as the feeling was, it made sense.

Laxus didn't miss experiencing new things with new people. He was scared of missing the sensation of discovering new things about a person.

He enjoyed the first kiss because everyone kissed differently, and he wanted to know how to make it good for them. He enjoyed first dates because, if going well, you'd discover a whole damn new person. He enjoyed taking people to bed for the first time because you got to explore someone intimately, finding out their fondness's and how they were with everything stripped back. He liked the early stages of dating because of how exciting it was to discover a person.

And suddenly, as absurd as it was, Laxus realised that he didn't know everything about Freed. He was now going to discover what it was like to know him as a roommate. He'd find out what he did when it was raining, and they were trapped inside. He'd find out how often he went grocery shopping. He'd find out small things about the man he loved.

"Although I should make it clear, this is something I want replicated," Freed continued, looking to Laxus with a smirk. "I am fully intending to steal a good amount of your fries."

"I think I can deal with that," Laxus grinned. "For a spoonful of chicken."

"Hm, you intend to bargain with me," Freed frowned. "You're aware that you've yet to pay your half, so I technically own all of this. I'm only giving it to you out of the goodness of my heart."

Thus, a playful debate began. And Laxus couldn't stop smiling, because playfully fighting over food with his boyfriend in their home for the first time was better than any first with anybody else.

~~~

Day Thirteen – Loss (For Words)

It was very rare that Freed was at a loss for words. This was one such time.

Finding him speechless was a difficult task. The man knew five languages – English, Japanese, German, Spanish and Arabic – and enjoyed showing off about it. Furthermore, he was rather a smartass when the mood struck him, and would quickly come up with a retort to anything said to him. He was quick-witted and smart, and it was almost impossible for him to be caught off guard to the point where he physically couldn't think of anything to say.

But Laxus had managed to do it, and all he'd done was shown up.

The two had been dating for half a year, but long distance. Freed lived in England and Laxus in America, and their meeting had been a chance occurrence when they had been vacationing in Mexico at the same time. They had gotten close during their two weeks together and were dating by the end of it.

They skyped often and had once met up in person when Freed's job had allowed him to come to New York. He was a university lecturer and had been invited to NYU as a visiting professor in philology. They had loved seeing each other there. That had been four months ago, and they hadn't seen each other in person since. Until now.

Now, Laxus was standing at the door of Freed's lecture hall, grinning.

Their next in person meeting was planned to be in a few months; they'd saved up to go away for a week together. And yet there he was, at the top of the staircase of the hall. Grinning, looking at Freed with a giddy amusement.

Freed, however, was still at a loss for words.

"Erm," He managed to say, eyes fixed on Laxus. Half of his students were looking at the man also. "I'm afraid to say we'll have to call it short today. I'll make it up next week, but it appears something has come up. You have my apologies."

The wait for his students to leave was agonisingly slow, and all Freed could think of was how much he wanted to walk to his boyfriend and kiss him. His grasp on being professional loosened with every second.

How damn long did it take to put away a laptop.

Eventually the students left, leaving Freed and Laxus alone in the large lecture hall. They both walked to each other in silence, moving instinctively as they wrapped their arms around each other and pulled the other into a kiss. It was slow, passionate and filled with almost four months of not touching each other. Freed melted into it, relaxing into his boyfriend and pushing against him to feel any amount of closeness to him.

"Why are you here?" Freed asked as the pulled apart, unwilling to fight off his smile.

"You don't want me here?" Laxus said with a grin, starting to pull away. "I can go back."

"Don't even consider it," Freed smirked, pulling Laxus against him. "Just answer my question."

"Well, my boss was pretty happy with me and I got a bonus for the end of the year," Laxus smiled. "Thought I might as well put it to good use."

"I'm glad you did," Freed smiled, resting his forehead against Laxus' with a soft expression on his face. "I didn't realise how much I've missed actually being with you."

Laxus pulled him into another kiss in response, wrapping his arms tight around the man's waist to pull him close. The feeling of having Laxus so close to him: to feel the smooth of his skin against his fingers and the rough texture of his coat against his torso. It felt so real, so perfect and incredible that Freed quickly found himself addicted again.

"How long are you here for?" He said, panting slightly as they pulled apart again.

"A week," Laxus said with a grin. "But, well, I actually need to talk to you about that."

"Why?" Freed frowned.

"Well, my boss got really happy with me performance and offered me a promotion," Laxus said, smiling a little proudly. Freed wished to kiss him for such a look. "And, well, the branch of the company I work at doesn't have an opening, but there's a few other places that do. Most of them are in America. But, well, there's one here."

It was perhaps a first. That Freed would be at a loss for words two times the same day.

Because the suggestion hit him instantly; Laxus had been offered a job that would have him move to London. It would mean that their relationship would no longer be long distance, and that they would be able to see each other in person almost whenever they wished. That they would be able to kiss each other whenever they wanted. The idea made Freed's stomach ache; he didn't realise how much he had wanted that until then.

"I know we need to talk about it," Laxus continued. "I'm not expecting ya to let me move in with you or anything, I'll get my own place. And I'm sure that there's a hundred other things we'll need to talk about before I make the decision, but the idea of being close to you. I fucking want that."

This time, it was Freed who instigated the kiss. He leant up and pressed their lips together softly, lacking the urgency of their previous kisses. Laxus was not only here for the week, but he could be moving here permanently very soon, so why rush?

"We can talk about that later," Freed promised. "But right now, I just want to enjoy the fact that you're here, in my arms."

"I ain't gonna argue with that," Laxus grinned, running his hand through Freed's hair as they pulled each other into a kiss.

Twice today Laxus had put him at a loss for words, and he loved the man for it.

~~~

Day Fourteen – Growth (And Support)

Laxus hadn't spoken since they had gotten in the car.

It was the kind of reaction that Freed had expected, but that didn't make it feel any better. The blonde was clearly wrapped up inside his own thoughts, and Freed understood why. He didn't say anything to his husband as they drove, knowing that any speaking would probably only serve to aggravate Laxus. Still, it was hard to watch him so nervous and not know how he could help him feel better.

Once they arrived at their destination, it was clear Laxus' nervousness was getting worse. His posture tensed, his shoulders hunched, and his gaze didn't leave the ground. Freed wished he could do anything to make him feel better, but he couldn't. All he could do was be there to support Laxus.

"Are you ready to go in?" Freed asked softly. Laxus nodded.

The room was familiar to Freed, a simple yet pleasant waiting room with many soft colours. It was purposefully designed to be nice and welcoming, but the effect didn't do anything to calm Laxus' anxiety. Freed placed a hand on the mans back and gently guided him to the front desk.

"Laxus Dreyar, for a three thirty appointment," Freed said.

"Of course," The receptionist smiled. "Take a seat."

It had been Freed's suggestion that Laxus see a therapist. The blonde had an incredibly troubled, and potentially traumatic relationship with his father, but had always been closed off about it. Freed had often tried to help him whenever he could but lacked any professional ability. Anything he could do was guesswork, and its effectiveness varied.

Recently, it had become worse. Laxus confessed that his father had been in jail, but was soon to be released, and it was clearly affecting the man. Freed had done whatever he could, but it wasn't enough. That was when the suggestion of therapy had been made.

Laxus hadn't initially agreed with the idea. It had taken both Freed and Makarov quite some time to convince Laxus to attempt it. He had fought back harshly, claiming that he didn't need it because his father had no influence on him anymore. Both knew it was a lie but didn't say anything, instead attempting to convince him that it would be good even without his father being included. Eventually Freed had confessed that, as a teenager, he also had been to regular therapy sessions and it had helped him greatly.

So now they were here, in the same therapist's office that Freed had frequented as a teenager. It felt a little strange to be back, this was the building where Freed had allowed himself to be most vulnerable. He didn't say this, though, as Laxus was his priority.

"Is it always gonna feel this…" Laxus spoke up, thinking of a word. "Intimidating."

"It didn't for me," Freed patted his knee. "It took about a month, but eventually I got used to it. It was something I did, and it became normal."

"What if it doesn't?" Laxus muttered.

"Then, for whatever reason, it's not working. Maybe the therapist isn't a good fit for you, maybe the environment is wrong. And if that happens, we'll talk about what we can do next," Freed promised. "But that isn't something you need to worry about today. All you're doing is meeting someone and talking to them."

"You said it's the same guy you had, right?" Laxus asked, and Freed nodded. "What's he like?"

"Nice," Freed thought. "He's not… you might have an idea of a therapist in mind. Someone stone faced with a notepad they won't let you see. He's not that. He'll engage in conversation, treat you like a person. And as you get closer to him, it's just like he's a friend."

"Doubt it," Laxus laughed cynically.

"Well, maybe not a friend exactly," Freed amended. "But it won't be as difficult to talk to him as you'd think. He's not a judge, he's simply there to help you through what you're thinking. And, most importantly, he's on your side."

Laxus didn't say anything, and Freed frowned.

"Once, he called me a dumbass dickhole," Freed commented, which got Laxus' attention.

"What?" Laxus asked, and a small hint of a laugh entered his voice.

"One of the issues I was trying to get past was secluding myself socially. I over-corrected and, that particular week, I went out with people every night. I overwhelmed myself and didn't have any enthusiasm to meet with people for weeks. When I told him all of this, he called me a dumbass dickhole," Freed chuckled. "I think he was trying to make me laugh."

"Why?"

"Because," Freed paused. He should be honest. "They'll be times when this is exhausting, and you'll get defensive. Certain times it'll feel like you're being scolded, and you'll be angry. And sometimes you'll need to be reminded that he's there for you. That was his way of telling me that while also letting me know how stupid I was being."

"Did he really help you?" Laxus asked, and perhaps optimism snuck into his voice.

"He truly did," Freed promised. "And hopefully he can do the same for you, but if he can't then we'll work something else out. But you need to engage with him as much as you can, okay?"

"Okay," Laxus nodded.

He was looking down at the floor again, and Freed placed a hand on the man's back comfortingly. It was clear that Laxus' nervousness wasn't going to simply disappear, and that it would be hard for him to remain calm and composed throughout the session, but now at least it seemed like he was willing to try it without being completely closed off.

When the receptionist called Laxus' name, he took a breath, stood up and walked towards the session room. Freed watched him with a soft smile on his face; this would be difficult for him, but it was a step forward. That was all Freed could ask.

~~~

Day Fifteen – Beginnings (And Further)

It hadn't been planned this way. If it had, Laxus probably would have spent days stressing about it happening, and perhaps would have talked himself out of doing it. This was a first for him – after all – and if it had been arranged before-hand Laxus would have inevitably worked himself into a mess panicking about everything that could have gone wrong. But, actually, this was all going rather well. It was actually quite nice.

"So, my boy, how did the two of you meet?" Makarov asked, smiling.

Laxus and never introduced a partner to his grandfather before. He had never really gotten that far with someone to the point where he wanted to make them a permanent fixture in his life, let alone the lives of his family and friends. His relationships had always been trapped at the beginning.

But Freed was different. The blonde couldn't explain why he felt like Freed was unique, exactly, he just knew in his gut that he was. Previously, he had been excited to see his partners and wanted to spend time with them, of course, but never in the way he did with Freed. He didn't just look forward to the time together as an idea, he looked forward to what they would do. Be that taking an overly competitive turn around an arcade, or walking to a take-out place together.

He wasn't in love with the concept of a partner. He was in love with the reality of Freed.

As Freed told the story of how they had met, Laxus stood up and went to the counter to get himself some coffee. He glanced back to see Makarov laughing as Freed spoke, and his boyfriend was smiling as he went on. Laxus smiled.

The couple had seen Makarov walking down the street by happenstance; the old man claimed he'd gotten his hair cut, but Laxus had seen him leave the chocolate shop that he wasn't meant to be entering because of a diet he was on. Rather than calling him out on that – which he was going to do eventually – a sudden urge hit the blonde.

He wanted to introduce Freed to him. That had never happened before.

And then he had. He asked Freed, who agreed, and a moment later they were talking. And it was really good. Laxus had always expected showing a partner off to his grandfather would be a hellish experience, filled with both embarrassment and worry that the old man might say something that would make him look bad. But this was fine; nice, actually. Maybe he shouldn't have put off doing this with his other partners.

Or maybe the fact it was Freed made a difference.

When the blonde brought the drinks to the table, Makarov groaned. Laxus had gotten himself a cappuccino, Freed a flat white with a scone, and Makarov an orange juice. The old man wasn't happy with what his grandson had gotten him, having ordered a hot chocolate.

"Stop pouting," Laxus condemned. "Your doctor said you need to worry about cholesterol."

"I'm over eighty years old, Brat, I can look after myself," Makarov went to pick up Laxus' coffee, but the blonde beat him to it. "Good luck with him, Freed. You've signed yourself up for a lifetime of this."

Laxus paused, eyes slowly hovering over to Freed. He knew he was in love with Freed, but their future hadn't truly been something that they had discussed. He didn't know how committed Freed was to the relationship, and Makarov bringing the topic up might be somewhat premature. Laxus didn't dare say anything, as he didn't want to risk… anything really.

"I'm sure I can make my peace with that," Freed said smoothly. "It's rather nice to be privy to that side of him."

"Be privy?" Laxus snorted. "You in your eighties as well?"

"Don't take any talk like that from him," Makarov said with a grin as Freed chuckled. "If you don't hit him, I will."

"I'm sure that won't be necessary," Freed smiled, patting Laxus' leg. "I expect that reminding him that he has a pair of shoes specifically for driving would make all the age-based comments stop. Otherwise you'd be a hypocrite, wouldn't you?"

"Asshole," Laxus chuckled, shaking his head.

"You have driving shoes?" Makarov cackled. "Even I don't have driving shoes. You don't have the gloves as well?"

That was how the rest of their time at the coffee shop went, with Freed and Makarov getting to know each other, occasionally making jokes at Laxus' expense. The blonde took them in good faith, seeing at it was a way the two were bonding with each other. Although he did make a note that, if he was going to invite Freed to his grandfather's house at some point, he would make sure to get there first and hide away anything that could be used to embarrass him. The photo-albums would be the first to go.

As they left, Makarov asked for a moment to speak to Laxus alone. Freed complied and walked to the car, leaving the two Dreyar's alone. Nerves filled Laxus as he waited for him to speak; his grandfather might have been pretending to like Freed.

"He'll be good for you," Makarov said, smiling. "And I like him, so you better not mess it up for yourself. I don't think you could do much better than that."

"Thanks," Laxus laughed, relaxing now. "I'm glad that you like him though. Cause I really think this might be something… I don't know. I just feel different with him."

"I've noticed. You look at him with these big eyes, had to hold my tongue about it because it was damn funny," Makarov grinned. "But he looks at you the same way. Don't be embarrassed."

"You think so?"

"Of course," Makarov smiled. "Keep him, Laxus."

"I will." Laxus promised.

The blonde smiled as he walked away. This was better than a relationship beginning; he loved it.

#ftlgbtpride2020 #fraxus #freed justine #Laxus Dreyar #freed x laxus #fanfic #fairy tail #writing #one shot #event

29 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 4 years ago

Text

I feel a lot better but I felt sort of terrible when I got home from work. I did not sleep well last night. Like I almost didnt sleep at all. And then my alarm didnt go off and I was sort of frazzled.

But things were okay. I got dressed and felt alright enough. James walked downstairs with me because he was doing the laundry. And I was able to leave on time still.

It was a pretty nice day. I felt very busy though! I had brought lots of stuff to sew and that was nice. And I had a new child who was a sweetheart. She spoke in whispers for most of the day but eventually she opened up and was a total sweetheart. The 2nd graders I have just seem so young this year. And trying to teach them math sucks!!! Mostly because I hate common core, and I am not good at math. So I did my best showing them how I would solve things. At least the answers are right I guess?

It was a fun time though. The girls sewed. I sewed. I listened to some history podcasts. I even got most of us outside for a half hour and that was pretty sweet. We did not paint today after tomorrows mess. I had one parent not happy with the paint on their kids coat. Ugh. I forget that people care about that because I am always covered in some art material. I wonder if I will care all that much when I have kids?

I was pleased with my making today though. I finished all 6 bears I had and 2 frogs. The third frog was to messed up (it was a mistake from forever ago) so I will have to take it apart and start over. But I made a lot of progress and that was pretty sweet. I am probably going to take a break from making plushing soon. Try to work on some other stuff so I dont burn out. I am still having fun right now though so thats pretty nice.

I stll felt pretty good at the end of the day. I didnt have to be upset with the kids nearly as much over videos and things. In general they are being pretty chill about doing their work and classes. Tomorrow my plan is to make everyone show me their school work and we will catch up on any work they have to do. They keep referring to wednesday as a half day but it isnt!! Itll be cool but I am prepared for weird downtime tomorrow for the kids so I am bringing weird art things for them to play with that arent as messy.

I was glad to go home only because I was hungry and a little tired. It was cold out and so I ordered chipotle to pick up and headed out.

I was a little frustrated with chipotle because they apparently charge for salad dressing now but they didnt give that as an option on the site and i didnt bring my wallet in and then I felt really weird about the interaction and was weirdly upset.

But I got home and felt a little better. Mr Will was outside when I was getting back. And I let him know it was cold in the apartment and he said he would check it out. He seemed kind of down too. But I was to tired to stay and have a chat. I hope he's alright.

I seperated my chipotle in half so I could have it for lunch tomorrow. And I sat and played animal crossing while I ate and then I was like. Im tired. I didnt have to do any packages today. I just put my finished things in the photobox and laid down.

I sort of half napped for a long time. And then at 6 I was just really upset and didnt feel well. I had some water and that helped. But it took almost another hour for me to feel okay.

I hung out in the studio but I didnt make anything. I just took my nail polish off and made a plan for the art Im making tomorrow. I really want to finish my story quilt by saturday. They need it by tuesday but I want to give myself a buffer if they need it specially photographed or something. Well see. I am really excited with the way its coming out though and now its just putting the figures down and Im excited about that. Im also pumped to think about how I can use this idea in different projects.

I got a shower and did the dishes and packed my lunch for tomorrow. And now I am in bed waiting for James to come home. I hope we sleep better tonight. And that tomorrow is a good day for us all.

I think because Im working things have felt sort of normal and thats been nice. But I miss my family. I hope they can feel how much I love all of them.

Goodnight everyone. Sleep well.

4 notes · View notes

mithranqueersmusings · 4 years ago

Text

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

do i not already?

well yes but youre gonna love me EVEN more

what have you done

well i happened to stop by the club last night

oh god what did you do

wow is that how little you trust me

can you blame me

suppose not ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

surprise surprise

do you want the good news or not???

fine fine sorry

AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

first of all fuck you for calling him that second of all wtf is onlyfans

oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

...... care to grace me with your knowledge?

basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

but i have to pay?

well weve all gotta make a living

i can basically see him naked for free

but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed well you will but nobody will know at least so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

fine

where are your manners richard??

can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

alright calm down let me know if its worth while i might have a look

idk if im even gonna look at it paying for porn is a little dated

treat yourself ringo id offer to pay but im broke

if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

well SOMEONE had to go

they really didnt

im supporting my local economy

i dont think thats how that works

sure it is anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

howd the wank go??

john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

youre right sorry so how did it go???

if you must know i havent had a wank i havent even paid for entry

now whos the one being inappropriate??

ha ha

why havent you???

feels weird

oh i see youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

hey now watch yourself ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

go ahead

and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

im not joking

neither am i you wank A LOT

ringooooo just buy it i swear to god if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

on top of the money you already owe me?

have you always been such a capitalist

youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

fine spikes cock now are you convinced???

maybe

naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month convinced??

fine fine if itll shut you up

im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

i hate you

now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right' anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at even i wont stand in the way of a good wank so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

im older than you

DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

sooo how did the wank go

who knows but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

well before you do that i have even more good news

can it not wait?

NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

well arent you considerate and unnecessarily graphic

thats me anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

im still waiting for the good news

well if youd let me FINISH next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go youll never guess what it is

what is it?

guess

you just said ill never guess

youre no fun

WHAT IS IT

alright alright keep your hair on its a crossdressing event high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

im still waiting for the good news

OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #george harrison/ringo starr #ringo starr/george harrison #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #george harrisonxringo starr #starrison

5 notes · View notes

secondclarinet · 5 years ago

Note

I want to learn to play clarinet (itll probably be a couple years, I need to finish my degree first). I'm planning to find a teacher, but what about an instrument? Can/should you rent one, or would it be really gross? Anything I should be prepared for or excited for? Thanks!

renting an instrument isn’t gross at all! I got my plastic clarinet secondhand from a friend. it’s very easy to disinfect the mouthpiece, and that’s all you really need to worry about.

how to disinfect a mouthpiece (I used this method for contra-alto):

pour some vinegar or lemon juice into a cup, I prefer lemon juice because it doesn’t taste as gross, then add water. I’d say probably about a 3:2 or 3:1 ratio of water to lemon would work? mouthpieces are rubber so you don’t need to worry about it too much

place mouthpiece in cup. the angled part of the mouthpiece should be submerged, since that’s where your teeth go, but make sure the cork isn’t wet!

set a timer for 10-15 minutes

remove mouthpiece from liquid. you may have to brush off excess gunk if it didn’t quite make it off, I recommend using an old toothbrush for this

if you want to be extra safe, wipe it off with a disinfectant wipe

rinse with water to get rid of any bad flavors

voilà! clean mouthpiece

things to prepare for:

make sure you start with a plastic clarinet, wooden clarinets are expensive and need much more attention

it will be hard to make noises at first. make sure you start out with a reed of strength 2 or 2.5, I recommend vandoren! I think rico is good for beginners too

new reed is an acquired taste. I don’t mind it now but lots of people find it disgusting at first

you will need lots of reeds. if you’re just playing for fun then you don’t need to worry about reed quality too much, but reeds are surprisingly fragile. you’ll also move up in reed strength after a while; harder reeds need more air but make you sound much better

there will be so much spit. if you play for at least half an hour, the clarinet will be full of spit when you take it apart, so you need a swab. if you play for longer, spit will start to leak out of the end. spit also can leak out of the holes where you put your fingers, but I generally don’t find that this happens until like an hour and a half of serious rehearsal. simply swabbing the clarinet solves this problem!

it may seem counterintuitive, but drop the swab down the barrel end (small end). otherwise, it might get stuck in a little hook inside the upper joint. I recommend swabbing the whole body, and then every piece separately, but this isn’t strictly necessary for a plastic clarinet

it is very important to cover the holes completely, otherwise notes won’t come out properly

cork grease! use cork grease if you’re having trouble putting the parts together

the mouthpiece will get gross. just brush it off with a designated toothbrush every few weeks and it should be fine

brush your teeth before you play or at least gargle some water, otherwise you might get food in the instrument and your reeds will taste funny

your teacher can probably help you with any more specific problems you have, or feel free to send another ask if you have more specific questions

also someone will inevitably call you squidward. whether this is a good or bad thing is entirely up to you

things to be excited about:

you can make music!! whether you play alone or with other people, it’s always nice to be able to make pretty sounds!!

followers feel free to add more! it’s been a while since I started clarinet so I may have forgotten some important things to know

#clarinet #clarinet tips #how to clean a mouthpiece #advice #the clarinet squeaks #superfamousbouquetdragonworld #answered

17 notes · View notes

rqs902 · 4 years ago

Text

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like.

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’)

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits?

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’)

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :(

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt?

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable.

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :( im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show.

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :(

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular...

#rants

2 notes · View notes

grotesquegabby · 5 years ago

Note

I once again apologize because I'm pretty sure this is also a lot to ask X3 What would Cordie's future kiddos think of their cousins? :3 And only if you want, their other possible aunt and uncles? :D I of course mean Davey and Ula's spouses heheh

oh you are perfectly alright huehue~ uwu here we go~

@post-itpenny some more of yours are here as well~

Margaux: the one with much love but slight fear

Harper - This man makes her nervous. Hes beautiful but his expression scares me. Need to assess if he is actually safe to be around.

Penelope - This is mommas best friend! Clearly she can be trusted!

Amaranthus- mysterious lady is...mysterious. Is she..a witch? Getting witch vibes so shed be nervous around Amaranthus to start but....will learn to like her in time. uwu

Maggie - pretty lady reminds me of a cardinal.

Billy - Hes a pretty man. business business business is what comes to mind. This is the witches dad, is he a witch too. x3

Atlas - what? What! *Points at his head* does he wear those all the time! Can I wear kitty ears then? view him as this brave guy who goes around being himself no matter where he is.

Schrader - *Dreamy eyes as she stares at him* hes like a prince

Ally - Cute! is the first word that comes to mind.

Rory - will honestly be creeped out by Rory, just a feeling. Something aint right there. That smile makes her nervous.

Clara - a living doll, she is quite pretty. looks delicate like she could break like a porcelain doll, would worry since shes known to worry about such things.

Calliope - oooh, shes pretty. She looks so nice, and Momma speaks highly of her for advice.

Cuckoo - They are so kind looking. Will instantly trust Cuckoo upon meeting them.

Bingo - calm, yes perfect. uwu

Carney - a wild one, would be too shy to want to stick around Carney but if Ally was with him shed feel more comfortable. uwu shes just not a full of energy type of person

Orion and Hunter - due to the feeling both of them give her. Kind of creep her out a bit. Its the smile again.

Dante - This is a cool guy, I think my big brothers would like him a lot.

Robyn and Rayden - did these two together cause Margaux for a bit might think theres only one of them for a bit till she finds them both together x3 she knows abut twins but itll be funny to see I thought x3 But she does like them they seem like fun people to her~

Ace - woah hes so big and strong looking. I bet he can pick up everything. Maybe even a dinosaur, or a house.

Ferry - Is she a fairy? she might follow her around to see if she does magick. Will find out shes married to the strong man. Its a match made in heaven~

James - This is a nice man, she would love to spend time with James. Hes clearly so nice and shed adore him.

Magpie - that is a fun lady. colors, glowing and more.

Juno - She seems cool and Momma seems to like her. So she must be alright.

Vega - shes so wonderful, and kind. she bakes too. fast friends with this woman due to her sweet tooth.

Lyra - would be a bit nervous around Lyra but get over it soon enough. As Im sure Lyra would be welcoming to her.

Peregrine - nervous, might be scared of him.

Joseph -another nice man uwu this is the dad of the guy who wears antlers all day long.

Felix: The one with even more questions than before!

Harper - whys your face like that. Are you wearing makeup? Why are you wearing makeup? Are those feathers in your hair? Thats a bold fashion statement dont you think? Why do your eyes look like that?

Penelope - Miss Cordelia told me you guys used to be superheros. Are you still a superhero? Do you have super powers? Miss Cordelia said I shouldnt tell anyone else about it. Can I be a super hero too!?

Amaranthus - Are you a witch? do you eat kids? ooooh, I guess that is just fairytales. Are you one of those goth people then?

Maggie - Will notice the feathers on her and instantly are you an angel? Are you someones guardian angel? If he finds out she can see into the future ooh man prepare for lots of quesitons about it and of course Felix will start to worry and wonder if things will work out. He likes Cordelia and loves all of his new family he wont want to leave it anytime soon uwu so he might look to Maggie for some reassurance

Billy - will be transfixed by Billys eyes, with the two colors. Hes never seen it before so itll be interesting but Hes going to wonder if Billys a demon x3 and just flat out say it in front of people.

Atlas - Deerman! Do your antlers fall off like regular deer? Do you have hooves? No, awe that would have been so cool. I think it’d be cool to be part animal? Are you secretly part animal? like...*whispers* a deer superhero? *dreamy eyes* You are married to a very pretty lady.

Schrader - You are also married to a pretty lady~ uwu and he plays music! Will learn sign language so he can talk to Schrader better uwu

Ally - you are super cute! tells her this upon meeting her. just all :3

Rory - He doesnt understand why anyones nervous around this guy, they seem so nice. Look at that smile! :D so welcoming

Clara - a pretty lady who is more than meets the eye. He bets! Plus she made these lovely toys for him and his sister so how bad could she possibly be?

Calliope - mixed feelings for Calliope. She seems really nice but his brother seems to think other wise.

Cuckoo - The Circus owner is a wonderful person and seeing that his brother would trust him right away He would as well uwu

Bingo - would love to catch her at roller derby competitions.

Carney - Wild one! Perfect for Felix, who has lots of energy. Cordelia wondering if Carney would like to babysit at least for Felix who wanted her to ask. x3

Orion and Hunter - wouldn’t have too much of an opinion on them yet

Dante - a cool guy who played in a band. are you still in the band? What do you play? how

Robyn and Rayden - would just like his sister get fooled as well to start x3 and then laugh upon realizing. Would think these two are cool as heck and man if one doesnt want to do something....the other could do it in their place. Have you two done that he wonders?

Ace - *flexs his little muscles* x3 Will want Ace to flex his muscles too. see if he can lift him, of course Ace can uwu but Felix just wants to be lifted~

Ferry - a nice lady who makes wonderful tarts and treats~<3 (- o.o-)

James - Miss Cordelia has talked about this nice man. And that he is a good family friend that the kids can go too uwu

Magpie - Would love to go to her shows. This is a fun lady, look at her she is a master magician.

Juno - Lady of fire! mostly due to her fiery spirit. Will definitely want to hang out with her.

Vega - a very nice woman uwu mom of the deerman. Will ask if shes an animal person too. If he gets a good answer hell be excited x3

Lyra - not too much of an opinion yet

Peregrine - o3o why are you so grumpy looking? x3

Joseph -would seem nice enough uwu hes the dad of the deerman.

Damian: The one who pretends not to care

Harper - What the hell...why is he so...beautiful!

Penelope - She seems pretty nice. Clearly Cordelia’s bestie. can see why these two would get along so well.

Amaranthus - Digs the outfit.

Maggie - She seems nice

Billy - He can see getting along with this guy.

Atlas - Whats going on? Why are you wearing antlers? Whatever floats your boat. So your married to Cordelias big sister

Schrader - Really cool guy, would love to hang out with Schrader. Your also married to Cordelias big sister?

Ally - She seems very sweet and kind. And somewhat timid.

Rory - This dude here makes me....nervous not sure why they do.

Clara - She seems nice enough. Probably volunteers at homeless shelters which isn’t a bad thing no she just looks like she would.

Calliope - Now this woman here....is not...human. Theres just no way. Will he say this out loud? no.... x3

Cuckoo - Thinks Cuckoo is cool, they own a circus. Thats one of the coolest things to him.

Bingo - very serious are you and the tall guy...together? Thats not a bad thing no he just thinks they would fit together. Not that Damian is claiming to be a match maker no way x3 But hes going to find out about her roller durby and oof Shes going to be one of the coolest girls he knows!

Carney - Not too much of an opinion for him

Orion and Hunter - together they make him weary x3 but he does find them pretty neat. If they are

Dante - Definitely thinks Dante is a cool guy, he might get a reaction out of Damian thats eager and excited not annoyed. uwu

Robyn and Rayden - these guys are friends with Dante. And meeting them is going to be cool, imagine the pranks you can play as identical twins~

Ace - might be slightly intimidated by him but would pretend not to be x3

Ferry - She seems very sweet, and can see Ace and her dynamic really working out.

James - a genuinely nice person. He feels a connection to him for a reason.

Magpie - really colorful and fun. Can see why his sister would like her.

Juno - Hed definitely like her. Shes pretty cool, would enjoy hangning out with her.

Vega - same feeling as Lyra, more than meets the eye. He bets she is secretly a prankster.

Lyra - seems pretty cool, he has a feeliong about her that shes more than meets the eye.

Peregrine - I feel these two would just stare at each other or glare from across the room. x3

Joseph -Seems nice enough

I hope these are alright uwu

4 notes · View notes

redandfranticfeelings · 6 years ago

Text

an autistic analysis, lyric by lyric, of ‘i love play rehearsal’

ive been hyperfixating over bmc for the last month and i keep thinking about how autistic the main characters are and christine is so very very very autistic coded to me. so i decided im just going to straight up deconstruct the lyrics of her signature song in the context of her being autistic (and also having adhd, but my experience is mostly in autism)

this is very very rambley and based more on personal experience than research, so i doubt itll be interesting to anybody but me, but i just want to talk about christine, the autistic queen

I love play rehearsal Because its the best! Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as its done.

it goes without saying that chrstine’s special interest is theater right? the way she treats it as the “highlight of [her] life” and then switches into this song after acting completely awkward and disinterested in jeremy outside of the context of him being engaged in her special interest.

But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed No, im not into self-harm Dude, I swear, here check my arm!

overexplaining in a way that reads very much like speaking before she thinks, even though bringing up self harm in casual conversation with someone you barely talk to is not exactly proper etiquette. i think this is also an adhd trait? going faster than your own brain. that’s basically this whole song.

See, I just use the word to emphasise a point, Show the passion I have got I am passionate a lot. I have mad, gigantic feelings, Red and frantic feelings, About most everything Like gun control, like spring,

a lot of people assume autistic people are typically emotionless but it’s also very easy for us to get caught up in emotional issues especially when it comes to stuff we love, and it catches us off guard. christine being hyperempathetic is implied later in the show when she has that awful survivors’ guilt over making fun of rich and jake, and it also plays into her being so socially conscious as well.

Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be.

being an high school junior is really rough bc of all the decisions that have to be made regarding college and your future as an independent adult, and being autistic just makes it worse bc it can easily lead to burnout to deal with so much at once, if you even can comprehend these things much at all (i had no idea what to do, lol). i doubted my ability to grow up and succeed constantly because i had no idea who to talk to and what questions to ask and how to present myself. that’s something that a lot of people worry about, but having social delays makes it way more of a pressing issue than it is for neurotypicals, i feel.

I also have a touch of ADD. Where was I? Oh, right!

self explanatory and very canon. adhd and autism can be diagnosed simultaneously nowadays and the symptoms overlap a lot, btw.

I love play rehearsal, Cause’ you are equiped with direction and text, Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next. Anywho the point that I’m getting to is sometimes life can’t work out in the way It works out in the play

this part screams autistic culture to me. unpredictability is scary because social situations don’t always go smoothly like in fiction! this is why social scripting is a popular therapy tactic for autistic children- you have to manually study social situations like a script. theater is something meant to be memorized and recited until you’re able to process it and manufacture emotion, but honestly for autistic kids, life feels a lot like that sometimes. remember how miserable she got when one of her favorite plays had the script changed without her permission to make a whole new story she doesn’t know? of course that’s just upsetting on its own, but in the context of her knowing theater so well and being fully prepared for one story only to be forced to learn a new one? ouch.

christine is never shown as comfortable outside her element- she hides in a book during “more than survive” and shrinks into nothing at the party. it’s a recurring theme that she has no idea exactly who she is, struggles with her identity outside of theater, and despite not really caring about how people see her, she does care about her own ability. socializing makes her feel awkward, especially when something totally unexpected happens like jake or jeremy asking her out. if she doesn’t have a plan or routine or, well, a script, then she can’t trust herself to go forward.

Like the only time I get to be the center of attention, Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois

as an autistic theater kid, i just really do relate to being clueless and dumb in real life but being able to totally thrive on the stage, because you can channel the energy that is usually misplaced in real life social interactions, and transfer it through dialogue and song and dance that someone else laid out nicely for you.

and can I mention? That was really one of my best roles, Did you see that?

an epic combination of letting your mind wander easily without caring about making sense to the person you’re speaking to, and taking every opportunity to infodump. in a lot of productions she even mimics her blanche voice just for fun. jeremy tries to respond here but she doesn’t care because she’s in her own brain where everything only really seems to make sense to her.

And no matter how hard I try, It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why, I love play rehearsal. I happiness cry whenever it starts!

if she isn’t being hyperbolic then this plays into my ‘so much emotion it’s hard to control’ thing detailed a bit above. either way, big special interest mood.

It’s just so universal Getting to try playing so many parts. Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, The thought of that gives me hives! I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue,

it’s a lot easier to lose yourself and connect to your special interest than focus on your very complex, very overwhelming real life issues. escaping into fiction and being able to play in a variety of social situations as a totally different person, yay theater!

in general i just like the idea of christine struggling to visualize who she is and thinking about a lot of hypothetical but being unable to choose which one is most desirable or plausible. idk if that’s autistic or just a fun character trait lol. i know jumping from interest to interest is an adhd thing though.

this little passage is good for at least showing that christine distinguishes herself from ‘most humans’ in a way that isn’t so much ‘not like other girls’ but like ‘life is so much more confusing to me than it seems to be to others’ (which the show proposes isn’t exactly true and is the same closed-mindedness that jeremy has, though christine realizes it sooner; however; the sentiment rings true in that christine, as a neurodiverse young woman, has a lot more hoops to jump through than a neurotypical classmate.)

And why am I telling this to you? Guess there’s a part of me that wants to.

jeremy is also very autistic coded in my eyes, but that’s a separate post. i just like them being drawn to each other through that sort of kinship. also if you interpret her as having an unrealized requited crush on him…well, i think for a lot of us, romantic love is easy to confuse with friend love, if even that, because the specifics of emotions are a mess to unravel. (which also explains her confusion on her relationship with jake)

oh and right after this, she starts squawking just because she had the impulse to do so. vocal stimming, much?

Back to play rehearsal, My brain is like ‘bzzz’ My heart is like 'wow’

my brain is always like bzzz honestly lol. this is generally a pretty good way to describe being hyperfocused.

Because we’re here at play rehearsal, and it’s starting, We’re starting, It’s starting, Sooo-ooon.

it’s been confirmed as a deliberate decision that christine’s songs never end on a rhyme, except when she’s squipped and it isn’t ‘really’ her, because she subverts everyone’s expectations, including jeremy’s. i feel that could make for a nice simplified metaphor for autism, right?

#christine canigula #autistic headcanons #allistics can reblog!#be more chill #bmc #gif #long post #queue are so busted #i might do something like this for loser geek whatever and/or more than survive #or even just bmc songs in general if i cant get enough material from them individually #be more neurodivergent #kin tag

87 notes · View notes

journeysintowebcomics · 5 years ago

Text

Homestuck Liveblog #186

UPDATE 186: Political Assassination

Last time John finally got that tooth off his chest, and Jake agreed to give his endorsement to Karkaroni. Now what will happen? Let’s see.

Has it been days since Jade has been sitting on that couch, levitating and with her eyes completely black? Given everything that has happened in the meantime it sure feels like it has. Roxy’s getting worried, she tried to call Rose but she didn’t respond, so instead he goes for the next option she has: Dave. Who immediately brags about working to stop Jane from screwing up everything. The words ‘neoliberal austerity measures’ are unsaid but they’re like an echo when Dave talks about the presidential campaign, I bet. He’s busy handling Jake’s endorsement speech.

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

‘one hell of a nap, davey, shes been blacked out for, like, a week’

It seems the troll candidate is more popular with the trolls and the carapacians than with the humans and consorts. How don’t they have more consort supporters? Hopefully Jake’s endorsement will change that.

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

Well that makes clear what the best course of action is: don’t open the windows nor place her anywhere in the daylight. If Dirk’s advice will help with the exorcism she needs – to get Dead Calliope out – then it’s a bad idea. I’m enjoying this epilogue much more with Dead Calliope controlling the narrative, thanks.

It’s alarming Kanaya isn’t picking up either. Could Dirk have gotten rid of her? I sure hope not! Kanaya has done nothing wrong and deserves to stay alive, what with being the professional when it’s about troll reproduction. She better still be fine and kicking!

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

They don’t do that, much to Jade’s disappointment, I bet. Either way, it’s speech time!

The struggle to take control of the narrative is a petty squabble, says Dirk, taking the high ground by offering Dead Calliope a way out. Buddy, pal, friend, you can’t take the high ground and then insinuate Calliope is ugly as sin. That is petty.

Apparently everybody thinks Dave loves Karkaroni, and although I believe that too, it’s fine if Dave never comes to terms to that. The guy marches at the beat of his own drum, he’ll be fine. This kind of thing can’t be forced on him. Speaking of things that can’t be forced, Roxy wants to know how Dave came out to everyone else as not straight. Oh dear, Roxy, I don’t think Dave ever did that. You’re asking the wrong person – unless you want the answer to be ‘deny it for like eight years now’.

He’s not really denying it right now, though. Maybe he did come out to the others and I didn’t find out until now. He’s not comfortable enough with rapping about ‘boning dudes’ in middle of a stadium where so many people can see him, but he’s not running away from the question. Way to go, Dave! I approve character growth!

Somehow Dave has this entire spiel about all the steps of admitting not being straight. On what phase are you, Dave? Inquiring minds want to know. I’d paste the entire thing here, because it’s pretty good stuff, but it’d feel like I’m applying filler for the sake of applying filler, so I won’t.

Dirk really doesn’t want a conversation about gender. Personally I have to agree because, even though this is great for development and I appreciate all of Dave’s steps, this is kind of a random place to shove this in. Pretty bad place, really. It’d have been great at a different moment.

Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts.

...uh, Dirk, you know what else is horrendously invasive? Taking over the narration and manipulating people around. Also the assimilation plan, that’s more than horrendously invasive.

Okay, this is going for long enough.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to?

the prince is laboring under the delusion that he has been the least bit subtle in his intentions. he currently stands beneath the carapacian bell tower, poised to climb to the top. he holds the long, red sniper rifle that once belonged to roxy, brandishing it openly and boldly. he seems mysteriously oblivious to the fact that holding a long rifle in broad daylight somewhat tips one to the fact that he soon intends to shoot someone from a great distance. he also seems unaware of the fact that i know perfectly well that the top of this tower has a clear, long-range view of the stadium, allowing any competent sniper a clear shot of whoever happens to be standing at the podium as they give a speech. as jake english is about to do.

he also doesn’t seem to realize i have anticipated his attempt to assassinate his own friend in order to advance his political goals, and that i am prepared to take measures which make this impossible.

It really sounds like Dirk’s getting ready to shoot, he’s up at the right place and has a view of the stadium where Jake will be, but...I don’t know, ever since Roxy said Dirk messaged her about keeping Jade in the sunlight for ‘an exorcism’ I have been feeling uneasy, and now that this all was said just now, well, I kind of suspect Dirk may try to shoot and kill Jade. It sure would free her of Dead Calliope’s control and possibly give him back the control of the narrative. It’s a possibility, no?

Somehow the next few paragraphs resembles a schoolyard roleplaying fight. ‘You can’t reach the top of the stairs because...your feet feel really heavy’ ‘really? Then I can fly’ ‘and then the bell came crashing down on you!’ ‘I cut that stupid bell with my sword!’ ‘not fair!’ ‘yes fair!’. It’s endearing in its own way.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

no i don’t.

DIRK: Sure you do.

I’m having fun with this part, guys, I really am! This is great.

This is over when Dead Calliope, trying to stop the focus on Dirk and his increasingly petty narration, turns the attention back to Dave who must still be explaining to Roxy the intricacies of coming out to their friends. I see keeping a show in a standstill is a Strider family trait.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

That has got to be the most contrived simile Dave has said in recent history.

Dirk continues saying very clearly he’s about to shoot Jake, and the more he states that so bluntly the more I suspect there’s something else going on.

‘Xenophobe’ and related words are starting to stop looking like a real word. It just has been said so many times.

Everything is making Dave feel like something’s wrong – undoubtedly Dead Calliope’s influence – so he gets in the path of any potential bullets, protecting Jake with his own body.

and despite dave’s quick and well-justified action, what is also unbeknownst to him is that the sniper no longer poses a threat of pulling that trigger. because everyone knows that for all of the prince’s shortcomings, he would never expose his beloved brother and son to the risk of a heroic death.

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

I’m pretty willing to bet taking over Dave’s self doesn’t count as killing or hurting him, therefore it’s fair game. Dave would be pretty unhappy to know what Dirk’s doing, anyway. The narrative reveals what’s in the sniper rifle are not bullets, they’re tranquilizers. It’d be a non-fatal way of keeping someone out of the way for a while. The second thing Dead Calliope got wrong, though...

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

Well then! Turns out I may have been right about that he intends to shoot Jade. He must feel really confident about it if he can announce it aloud after aaaall the charades he did to fool Dead Calliope. Is it Jade, Dirk? Will you tranquilize Jade and pretty much put her to sleep – non-fatally?

Dirk spins in what must be the tiniest bell tower ever, given he only has to spin to change direction and be able to aim somewhere else, and gets ready to shoot. All Dead Calliope can do is freeze Dirk’s finger on the trigger, but he thought ahead and made the rifle to be voice-operated. All he has to do is say ‘fire’. Which he does! Game over for Dead Calliope?

Pretty good aim, hitting a vein from all this distance. Jade indeed has gotten tranquilized, and I’m pretty sure given this isn’t the first time Dirk uses tranquilizers – he uses them in TV – it shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to realize this is Dirk’s orangey shady hand making the moves.

The insult against Jade is uncalled for, Dirk. But yeah, the result of all this is that Dirk is once again back in control of the narrative, which makes me sigh with exasperation. I really liked Dead Calliope’s narration more than Dirk’s, so I’m not looking forward to this change.

Roxy drops to her knees by the couch, pulls the dart out of Jade’s neck, and tries to shake her awake. But it’s no use. That’s a heavy dose I gave her. Could be out for weeks. Maybe months? Can’t have any cherubs messing with my business on this planet. At least not until I’ve taken my leave. But Jade’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about that.

So...she’s pretty much in a coma. Could be worse, could be worse. She could be dead. This is barely better.

Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.

Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.

Now who’s hungry for meat?

Does that mean the candy epilogue is all Dead Calliope’s influence seeping through instead of Dirk’s? It could be interesting to see what kind of thing she does to the world. Although...given the effects of the trickster lollipop and how ‘sweetness beyond comprehension’ is perfection to them, it’s bound to be nightmarish. I’m actually looking forward to that!

Speaking of meat, holy shit. You just look more fucked up every time we come back to you, don’t you, John?

You’re a disgraceful mess right now. Covered in blood, mysteriously sticky, bruised all over your arms, legs, and neck. Terezi practically raked rows into your back. You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You’re kind of embarrassed by what a postcoital train wreck you look like when all she’s got is mussed hair. And you should be embarrassed. Seriously, it’s like you were mauled by a wild animal. Jesus, don’t either of you have any shame?

Ah. Okay then, good for them, although I’m pretty concerned. Such a physically intensive activity can’t be good for the guy with a gaping hole in the chest and the troll who still must be half-starved. I won’t be surprised if these two just pass out and die anytime soon. I’m not entirely sure, but it seems things are awkward now between these two. Maybe it was all a spur-of-the-moment move.

You sit together on the hatch, like when you first met up days ago. Terezi crawls into your arms, and nuzzles right up against your chest so you have no choice but to hold on to her. You would have done it anyway if she asked, because you’re a total sap. The kind of guy who no doubt thinks banging a girl in a car is some deep, soul-shattering experience that bonds you for life. Yeah, John, you do think that. You think that you and Terezi are basically married now.

I can’t tell if he really thinks that or if Dirk’s funneling those thoughts into him. The line between what the character feels and what Dirk wants them to feel is pretty blurry by now.

After all this, Terezi gives up on looking for Vriska, so this is a prime moment for her to fly by and find them. She doesn’t, though, and John proposes Terezi to go home with him. Can they even go home? John is so tired it’s possible they can’t – which he really should have thought about before doing said physically intensive activity. Nobody to blame but yourself, John. Seriously, you have an open wound and bled like four liters of blood. You’re as good as dead.

He feels the urge to lie down and sleep, which is a pretty bad idea given the situation. Terezi rouses him up, so instead he decides to give this a try and zap back home. Hmmmm...if he’s so tired right now, it’s possible the act of zapping home will drain whatever energy he has left, so I’m not...very optimistic about John’s chances of survival. Would this count as a heroic death? Can you die from a heroic death if you die like two weeks after the offending injury is made? If he dies from exertion after having sex with Terezi that doesn’t count as a death because having sex with Terezi is neither heroic nor just, no? Oh well.

Back in the stadium, the inexistent assassination attempt may have given Karkaroni a push in the polls, and Dirk spends quite a while brandishing Jake like a piece of meat. Really, can he be treated as more than a flat character whose only non-flat trait is his posterior? Jake’s nervous and fidgets around, so much Dave and Karkaroni show concern and offer to cancel the speech and/or the campaign. It seems our favorite presidential troll still doesn’t like the idea of having leadership, he’s ready to throw the towel anytime. Jake insists he can do it, so he starts!

I don’t remember Dirk being so outright antagonistic in Homestuck. It’s making me pretty uncomfortable, I have to admit. It feels kind of out of nowhere, just like Jane’s sudden xenophobic inclinations are. What was Hussie thinking when he wrote all this? What was his intention?

Jake’s getting pretty nervous and I can’t tell if he’s getting stage fright or if Dirk’s influencing him to be nervous. The latter is a possibility, no? Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what’s going on.

Why don’t you have a good, long think about that, Jake.

Is this really the time for a good, long think? Jake muses to himself, actually putting a finger to his chin like some public domain clip art picture of a befuddled guy. If the crowd is confused by his rapid-cycle mood changes, they don’t show it. Jake’s got a bit of a day-drinking problem, which has been slavishly documented in the global tabloids. That’s how you avoid responsibility, isn’t it, Jake? You can fool your fans, but not yourself. The truth is that there’s a canniness to the act. It’s partially cultivated. You’re stupid, but you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be.

JAKE: What in the devil was i thinking coming here?

JAKE: Why did I...?

JAKE: I came here to...

... slide the biggest knife any motherfucker ever wielded directly into your friend Jane Crocker’s back?

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. And you would have guiltlessly toyed with her “kettle drums” too had it not been for a bit of divine intervention, let’s decide to call it.

Sigh. That’s...that’s all I can do with all this. Sigh and keep reading. Third time I’m scrolling through the epilogue a tad faster than I should. It’s pretty much an entire page of gaslighting. Nothing really worth delving into, mainly because it’s pretty uncomfortable to read such a thing. Dirk’s being the abusive ex, pretty much. Nothing really worthwhile.

JAKE: I love dirk!

JAKE: IM IN *LOVE* WITH DIRK!!!

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

You know, there are a few reasons why I’m thinking of liveblogging these epilogues. I’ll explain them later, but right now I may as well say a word of two: the epilogue is competently written. The events in it are interesting, and the interactions are raw and full of emotion. It’s all pretty unpleasant to read, which makes it a bit novel, like swallowing bitter medicine. It’s pretty good, in a technical way.

But it simply doesn’t work with Homestuck characters. It just doesn’t.

Anyway, let’s continue scrolling down to the end of the page and go to the next.

I was right in that zapping back to Earth C would take what was left of John’s energy. He barely can give three steps before he falls down, so it’s all up to Terezi now. She wants to bring John to Jane, so she can revive him. I don’t think she has revived him before, so it should be a good idea. It’d be better to bring Jane to John, though.

It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a wound you can recover from. It’s Game Over this time: no healing, no afterlife, no cosmic clock proclaiming your sacrifice as Heroic. The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Oh, nevermind, it’s something not even Jane with her life powers can fix. I wonder if, once John is erased, nobody will remember him. That’s what happens when there’s no place for you in a narrative, no? Hmmm...

John already know he’s irreversibly going to die, and tells Terezi not to waste her time, that he was dead the moment Lord English bit him. Which is true, given this poison. Then he says he was dead the moment he woke up that morning, which...I suppose is the depression talking.

You died the moment you made the decision to go meet your destiny. You would have lived if you made the other decision, under a certain definition of the word “living.” You might have even lived until the end of your immortal life span, as shitty as that sounds.

So he’d have lived for the rest of his life if he had decided to do nothing. Makes sense. This may have been for the better, given Lord English needed to be defeated, so it’s time well-spent. It’s rather unfortunate it involves John’s death, but...in a way I saw this coming. Pretty tragic outcome, and given this epilogue has been chock-filled with a lot of tragedy and pessimistic scenarios, it only made sense this would happen.

It’s dying words time! Terezi is really affected because she really cares for John, and also they had a ‘emotionally significant sexual encounter’, so she’s even willing to listen to all the sappy stuff John will say in his deathbed. This is bound to be rather emotional! And the fact he can’t even think of something appropriate to say in his final moments is what makes it emotional because this isn’t how he imagined this would go. He can’t even think of quotes from his movies. Terezi offers to tell everyone John Egbert said some cool stuff in his final moments and make everybody believe it somehow, so instead John goes straight towards the sappy and tragic. There he goes!

JOHN: i think... i really lo—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3

JOHN: i... r-really lov—

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!

TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!

JOHN: but... i...

JOHN: i...

Then John dies in the middle of a love confession.

Love confession on the deathbed! It’s like this truly came from a movie, haha. Terezi is devastated, so much she can’t even bring herself to cry properly. Once she confirms he’s dead, she ponders what she should do now, alone in the world John wanted to bring her to. She doesn’t have anything else to do, so after a moment – and at Dirk’s behest – she takes John’s corpse in Dad Egbert’s wallet and starts walking.

It has been a month already. Jane won the election after what I figure was Jake’s endorsement speech for her, so that’s that. Terezi has been rather lost this whole month, and nobody has seen John Egbert – instead of saying he’s dead -- so I suppose she hasn’t told anyone he’s dead. Rose has been missing the entire time and Kanaya has been pushed around by Dirk’s machinations to keep him distracted while he keeps Rose locked away somewhere, both mentally and physically, I figure. All in all, it’s a pretty grim outlook for everybody in Homestuck. Also, Jade is still in coma. Terezi goes to visit her, perhaps to tell her what happened to John?

Dirk continues being so salty Roxy’s experimenting with her gender, apparently. Aren’t there a million other things to deal with, pal?

Roxy is very glad to see Terezi, and she takes Terezi thinking she’s Dave as a compliment. She also compliments Terezi, giving her some heartache because it makes her remember the time she spent with John. It may have been a few hours, apparently. Time works in mysterious ways up there in paradox space!

The reason Terezi is here is because she feels John would come here, and she’s right, I bet. John would want to check on Jade as much as he can, so now that she’s carrying John’s cadaver around, she feels she should handle this all herself. It’s also confirmed she hasn’t told anyone John is dead.

ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out

ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home

ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

ROXY: so it was hard as hell to convince them to let me come see jade at all

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized

ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

So the end result for Calliope is that she’s traumatized. Seeing a dead version of herself possessing Jade must have really rattled her. As I said, this is all pretty grim for everyone in Homestuck, goodness. Although...part of me wonders if her current state is partly because of Dirk’s influence. He’s petty enough to mess with the living Calliope’s head as a ‘take that’ for Dead Calliope.

Someone tries to contact Terezi through her phone, she’s not sure who it’d be. Perhaps Dirk? He did show a preference to sending messages to his former friends and acquaintances. As if things weren’t awkward enough for Terezi, she’s asked if she knows what happened to John. Terezi, you can’t keep this under wraps forever. Sooner or later you have to tell everyone John died because of injuries in Lord English’s fight.

It seems Terezi can hear Dirk perfectly even when he’s talking in the narration, I suppose it’s because of her aspect. Oh, be careful with the stuff you say, Dirk! She’s also willing to whisper stuff to address Dirk, even if it gets odd looks from other people. On the other hand, this kind of leaves her more vulnerable to Dirk’s machinations, no? Part of manipulating people is responding to what they say, so with some luck this won’t go belly-up.

Once the conversation is over Roxy leaves and Dirk exposits Terezi still feels guilty about hiding John’s death from everyone, and she can’t even confide in Dave because of mistakes she did as a teenager in another timeline. It’s the curse of having the Mind aspect, isn’t it? Knowing what the choices cause. All of Dirk’s exposition bothers Terezi enough for her to tell him to scram, and he refuses to do so.

Come on, Terezi. You don’t belong here. You know you don’t belong here.

Do you feel threatened by Terezi, Dirk? Is that why you’re trying to push her away? I don’t think Terezi has anything that could be particularly useful against Dirk’s plans, so I’m not sure why he’s bothering to mess with her like this. She even points out they barely have crossed words.

Okay, I believe he feels threatened by her in some manner because he tries to convince her to join him in...some place. More like he wants her out of Earth C. He even offers to let her take John with her, which is why I’m sure he made her pick up the corpse, so he could manipulate her by using John. He finally leaves her alone with her thoughts, sure he managed to convince her enough. We’ll see.

Stopping for now!

Next time: next update

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

7 notes · View notes